#idiots assembled

[perlmutt-perl]

Oh, look, Mom and Dad are at it again. Poor Clint...

[leftabit-leftabit]

An old meme I forgot to post... 

[nocontexthorriblehistories]

in an ideal world this is what my spotify wrapped looks like

[mrscakeishere]

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Beta Reviews!

“I just passed the sausages!”

“Omg it really was chipboard!”

“I can't believe you. I just can't.”

Polycakes (me and Polychrome, aka @polychromicron-persei-8) here, proudly hurling the first fanfic grenade in the @goodomensafterdark Smut War with The Long Road To Meatballs (rated Explicit, 4786 words).

Summary and excerpt below!

NSFW CW: light BDSM, butt plugs, oral sex, penis inflation (not in excerpt but on AO3)

The Long Road to Meatballs

After an unfortunate miscommunication regarding the lack of spice in their lives, Aziraphale and Crowley seek out IKEA’s new intimate playroom products for the South Downs cottage. When their purchase—and all 279+ parts—proves too difficult to assemble, Aziraphale and Crowley take matters into their own hands (literally). It's the IKEA comedy smut you never knew you wanted but can't live without.

IKEA had evolved a great deal over the decades, as had Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship. The Swedish furniture and furnishings company—in a debatably misguided and belated attempt to be a part of the sex-positivity movement—had developed designs for one’s personal intimate playroom, including the TRÄLDOM, BOTÖVNING, and FLATHET series. In addition, the Swedish designers had managed to produce products for each line that incorporated a not insignificant amount of chipboard.[1] This was quite a feat considering that most of the products listed should have been predominantly made of metal, leather, silicone, latex, or fur.[2]

As for Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship, it had evolved out of a 6000-year drama defined by mutual pining and pegged in by supernatural bureaucracy, into a satisfying pairing filled with safety, stability, and sex. Lovemaking had been glorious and intoxicating, and while it rarely verged into territory that could be considered truly “hedonistic,” both parties were quietly content in their newfound domesticity. But as we both know, dear reader, few things last forever.

And so it was on a mild Tuesday afternoon in the South Downs when an unfortunate exchange concerning Crowley’s cooking planted a seed of doubt in the demon's mind as to whether his angel was truly sexually satisfied.

[1] Note for Americans and other aliens: chipboard is the British term for particle board or low-density fibreboard. Regardless of the term, it is an unsuitable material for any type of sexual activity as it has the ability to absorb moisture like a sponge.

[2] This had led to IKEA ending up in litigation for five years over several regrettable incidents that had occurred with their compressed wooden dildo.

Continue reading on AO3 for Crowley and Aziraphale miscommunications, sex swing assembly complications, witty banter, dowels, sausage jokes, and some first-time sexual experiments: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52376542

Image by Polychrome.

[susieklement]

New/Old Photos from Sport Relief 2012 ⚽😊

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

thinking so so hard about LaughingStock and how that'd go down. disastrously, probably

[year2000electronics]

really weird that im even saying this sentence but some people straight up do not have media literacy about trolls 3 the movie... if you demonize branch's big brothers unfairly do not FUCKING interact!!!!!

[captainsatspeed]

mat’s back was turned so he thought he’d get away with a little giggle. not round here partner

[lesbianrecorderplayer]

I wonder how the Captain feels about Matthew Perry dying? Perhaps he would identify even more with him as someone who was knocked down in his prime, as someone who tried hard to better the lives of the people around him. Perhaps he would reflect on his own life and how Havers his friends would've felt about him afterwards, looking at their statements. It's just interesting to think about.

[thelikesoffinn]

In Act 2, we finally get the Avengers-Visuals we deserved.

[ghostssource]

GHOSTS SE1E02 | Gorilla War

[final-bae-stination]

Incorrect Quotes: Outer Banks (2)

JJ: Is something burning? John B.: Just my love for you. JJ: John B., the toaster is on fire.

[leftabit-leftabit]

[nocontexthorriblehistories]

if anyone comes across a spare ticket for the Ghosts season 5 screening at BFI on September 19th, please remember your good pal @nocontexthorriblehistories

website crashed, phone line on hold for >45 mins, sold out within 5 minutes of members presale 😭😭😭

[mlpmi6]

Dried Pommagranate

Odin:*Turns to Tony* By the way, what was the strange looking fruit you were consuming earlier?

Tiny: Hmm? Oh the dried Pom-I-granite

Hulk: yeah we all know how much you love you pineapple *falters in slight horror*

Thor: Why are you stuffing to say Papaya?

Thor: *in slight horror* Odins beard it’s contagious!

Clint: what? Nah stark just eats dried Peach

Sam: no! It’s Piyata *Sreams* what the hell are they called?

Natasha: Plum?

Steve: Mango! The word you’re looking for is MANGO!

[szczek]

wish I knew some computer nerd who could help me what components are good for my pc cause im just scrolling through and like.. halp