#I may be bad at the game but at least I'm making progress somehow

[cinnamon-flame]

A mermaid drawing to celebrate mermay - inspired by the fact that the only thing keeping me from completing the community center in stardew valley for like 3 seasons was a SINGLE WALLEYE, so yeah a walleye mermaid

[starsomens]

Noah and his not so gamer girl imagine cause I'm bored and have a bunch of ideas to share with the world. hey Siri, play Video Games by Lana Del Rey.

you're not the type to spend free time playing video games. it's just not exactly your form of escapism, you prefer listening to music, dancing, watching movies and tv shows, cooking, even crying your heart out over tiktok videos with cute puppies, basically anything. but playing games? not really. and it's not because you suck at it, nah, absolutely not. or is it?

but Noah loves video games and sometimes you're in a mood to share his passion despite the lack of fast reaction, coordination or even gaming experience. it doesn't matter. more so, this is the only time being really bad at something benefits you.

this is his chance to be your knight in shining armour and he gladly takes the opportunty. he's gonna carry you the whole match/round/level/quest/whatever that is if you're struggling without making you feel useless. oh, you can't progress through that one hideous quidditch match in an old Harry Potter game? don't worry honey, he's gonna take care of that while you can sit beside him with you cup of hot chocolate and chill.

actually, this level is worse than he thought, so you sit there for half an hour watching him cursing the game, the broom, the whole existence of the world and it's the funniest thing ever. streamer Noah was and still is your favorite era of his and now you have an exclusive access to it irl.

remember Among Us? this may be the only game you're good at. not just good - excellent, you're a pro mind gamer. whenever you get the imposter role you make sure to either kill Noah first just to mess with him while he's screaming 'I knew it' down the hall or to keep him alive til the very end acting soooo very innocent that it blows his mind to find out it was you all along.

Noah, however, is still in his knight arc so he keeps you alive because he just can't do it to you. that makes him lose all the time because everone knows if you're still running around it's him not being able to kill you again. or when he's a crewmate and gets killed, his little ghost follows you everywhere you go as your little guardian angel. it's sweet but he could be a bit more helpful in his afterlife doing the tasks to help you win sooner though.

you have this love-hate relationship with horror games. you're intrigued and scared as fuck at the same time. Noah is not there to make it any easier for you. he loves to jumpscare you out of the sudden. he swears he's not gonna do it again and still proceeds to scare you one more time when you're fully relaxed and least expect it just to hear you screaming at the top of your lungs. once you got so scared you threw your controller across the room and broke it. he promised to stop doing this shit. of course he lied. this bish!

he's so unserious when you two boot up The Sims. his character never looks like him, he creates the ugliest mf with the weirdest clothing choices and insists to romance your character because who else? then, when you get to make your sim and spend like three hours on it, he patiently waits and says it's cute but not as beautiful as you are even if it's an actual virtual goddess on your screen. then you two sit there and plan how your sims are gonna live and somehow it always ends up with planning your actual real life together - the cabin, the dog, the kids and their names, all this lovely stuff.

ANON AGAIN???? Girl I had a long work day and this honestly helped me to unwind THANK YOU I NEED TO SEND YOU FOREHEAD KISSES. HOW DO I SEND SOME THROUGH THE SCREEN????

[project-sekai-facts]

hi! first off, wanted to say thank you for all the fun facts - truly makes my day whenever there’s a new post from this blog :D

secondly, not sure if anyone else has asked this, but i was wondering what your thoughts are on whether a cohesive in-universe timeline of events could actually be constructed? (someday, from the depths of despair happening before n25 main story, l/n main story happening in the beginning of the school year, etc.) i’d imagine you’d have to ignore or somehow squish together all the holiday/seasonal events, or is it simply impossible to squeeze about three years of events into one cohesive ‘canon’ year?

anyways, hope you have a good rest of your day/evening :) keep up the good work!

Omg thank you?? I'm honoured haha

This is my pepe silvia moment sorry

Never underestimate my probable neurodivergence. It's a work in progress and I want to try and get it done by September but the horrible amount of anachronisms in the main story is killing me. Like WxS simultaneously has to be the first and last main story because it needs to happen before the MMJ and VBS stories but also after Leo/need but that takes place at the same time as MMJ but also before it and WxS also has to be after VBS because WxS isn't a thing when akitoya divorce but then Leo/need doesn't exist when akitoya divorce either Saki isn't even at school yet which means there's no MMJ either but WxS exists before Kohane cuts her hair and MMJ story is in progress when that happens like what. I'm calling this confirmation that the main stories were written by 5 different teams. That or no one proofread anything. Oh there's also a massive error with Haruka's age where they say she's 16 but based on when the story is set she should be 15 and the game insists she was never pushed back a year. Thanks colopale.

Anyway since only one main story mentions a date as far as I remember (WxS) I've been trying to build it off of that. There are still errors because the date mentioned is "first day of school break", you can work out that they're talking about summer break by process of elimination but then none of the other units go on summer vacation. But like we'll just ignore that because I'm too tired to deal with colopale's bad continuity writing. Also the game takes place in the 2021-2022 school year because the only date ever shown in game was 2021 and it was in an event set in September/October. The Leo/need socmed posts have mentioned other dates but we'll ignore that also.

And because I misread your question yes you can squeeze everything into a canon year...kinda. You have to timeloop it because they straight up mention in secret distance that they're going on spring break (end of school year break) and literally don't even bring up the fact that it's the end of the school year.

So I think based on what I've got right now:

WxS main story is during summer break and a week or so prior.

Which means Saki and Haruka return to school in June or July probably (they start at around the same time and it's not mentioned that Haruka starts at the beginning of the school year)

and then VBS happens once the WxS story is done (we'll call that after summer break. so september)

Miyajou doesn't get a summer break that year to fix anachronisms rip

Then we skip september for every unit except VBS and pretty much follow the events in order until we get to Secret Distance (March 2022) and loop back to April 2021 and keep doing that at every half anniversary event.

I'm assuming when we reach 3rd we'll skip all the way from September 2021 to April 2022, not timeloop and then pretend that May->September 2022 isn't real and do a Halloween event.

All the flashback events fit onto the timeline without me having to change anything somehow so at least I can respect colopale for that

This is fine

Hatsune Miku broke space-time

[shortpplfedup]

My School President Episode 3: Fantasy of love

Y'all, I was in love from the first episode, but now I'm REALLY in love. As a lover of musicals, I'm geeked at the nods to the conventions of the genre, including the (sorta) dream ballet this ep. As a lover of BL the references and homages to the pillars of the genre (2gether, Bad Buddy and Gaya Sa Pelikula all get a nod in this episode) are so fun. As a lover of sharply-written romcoms, the quick pace, assured storytelling and subverting of expectations are keeping me on my toes! The slow unveiling of the depths of this story is giving me the very best of Bad Buddy (unsurprising given the crew behind it all worked on BB). This week we discover that Tinn's one-sided crush may not be so one-sided after all, and tropes are skewered in a series of fantasy vs. reality side-by sides.

Verse: Come live with me and be my love

The way you make me feel (The way you make me feel) You really turn me on (You really turn me on) You knock me off of my feet (You knock me off of my feet) My lonely days are gone (My lonely days are gone)

Michael Jackson | The Way You Make Me Feel (1987)

So what I'm starting to get here is that Tinn is just as dumb as Gun, just in a different direction and I love that for us. This is not morosexual4idiot, this is dummy4dummy. If it wasn't for Tiw, Tinn wouldn't be making an ounce of progress in his plans to woo Gun into being his boyfriend, because his plans are...how do you say...DEAD STUPID. They're that meme with the question marks at step 3 somehow leading to the desired outcome at step 4, except that the question marks start at step 1. Throwing Tinn and Gun together in a domestic setting alone for a whole week allows them to actually get to know each other some, because these boys don't really know each other very well. The enforced proximity of the week alone together lets Gun see Tinn as something other than the hardass he thinks is making his life hell, and lets Tinn take Gun off the pedestal he has him on.

Chorus: Expectation vs. reality

I want to love you (P.Y.T.) Pretty young thing You need some loving (T.L.C.) Tender love and care And I'll take you there

Michael Jackson | P.Y.T. (1982)

That week of domesticity also allows Tinn's daydreams to go full unhinged. Man oh man Tinn is fighting for his life and losing badly. I love how this show uses dream sequences to give us kilig moments that wouldn't make sense for the narrative at all, but work perfectly in a dream. And because they set up the use of dream sequences literally from the beginning, these don't feel like cheats at all, just part of the storytelling style, a way into the characters' heads that isn't narration.

What Tinn's daydreams also show is how he fails at every attempt to babygirl Gun (via an increasingly hilarious series of cheesy flirtation moves), but Gun handily babygirls Tinn without even trying. Gun turning the rice thing around on Tinn totally unawares (or was he?), and saving him with the ballroom dance...Tinn's giggly and swoony reactions are total babygirl.

Bridge: Dance with me

Out on the floor There ain't nobody there but us Girl, when you dance There's a magic that must be love Just take it slow 'Cause we got so far to go

Michael Jackson | Rock With You (1979)

In the end, Gun may not be as oblivious as he seems, at least not anymore. The flirty heart to heart he and Tinn have in the pool, and the dance they share there create enough of an atmosphere that Gun feels comfortable inviting Tinn to share the bed, and Tinn feels comfortable accepting. And then Tinn asks Gun if he could look him in the eyes, and it's GAME ON. Tinn has been too shy to hold Gun's gaze, and he wants to challenge himself to look him in the eye, but he also he wants Gun to look, really look at him. And when Gunn does look at him? Gun's little oh moment…is this gonna become a mutual secret crush story? PLEASE DEAR GOD LET THIS BECOME A MUTUAL SECRET CRUSH STORY.

Ad Libs

Mark Pakin is playing the perfect straight man in this sea of absolute clowns. That's that Nadao talent shining through. Looks like everybody wants him on their team too, he's going to be the busiest man of 2023.

When Gun hugged Tinn after the exam I'm pretty sure I saw his soul leave his body, and the look on Tiw's face was INCREDIBLE.

Tiw in general might be my favourite character in a cast full of characters I love unreservedly. Every time Gun shows off the two marbles knocking together that functions as his thought process, Tiw's like 'really? this guy? I mean, I got you bro but...are you sure?'

When even Pat looks at Gun like 'bruh...I knew you were dumb but this is a lot' 🤣

Tinn's dad being like 'yes, get out of here so I can shag your mom in the kitchen like we used to before you came along' is peak counting-down-to-an-empty-nest behaviour.

Chinzhilla washing the wrong car...🤣

Fourth is the most adorable kid, I just wanna squish him and set him up with my baby cousins.

The Bad Buddy DNA looks like it continues next week with the catalyst character entering the story.

[broomsick]

🌞 🥂 ⭐ 🧭 for the polytheist and pagan ask game!

Thank you so much for the ask!

🌞 - Which deity(ies) are you closest to/do you worship the most often?

The answer to this has changed a lot over time, and will likely change again. I have worked closely with Skaði, Óðinn and Loki in the past. For the past two-three years or so, I have mainly worshipped Yngvi- Freyr, Baldr and Thórr! All Gods have been a joy for me to worship, but I feel I have developped an especially close bond with Freyr and Baldr. Within the heathen circles I am active in, I have earned myself the nickname Freysgoði, meaning priest of Freyr. The name is a nod to the Icelandic saga character Hrafnkell Freysgoða, whose patron God was famously Lord Freyr.

🥂 - What is your favorite devotional act or offering to give?

Tough question! All acts of devotion are enjoyabel to me. I love to dedicate prayer readings and songs, as well as to sacrifice offerings into a bonfire. I often do the latter in honor of Yngvi-Freyr, generally at the beginning and at the end of the harvest season. Devotional toasts and the ritual pouring of alcohol is also a personal favorite, due to its established historical roots!

⭐ - What is something you wish people outside your practice knew more about?

I have answered this question already in the previous ask, so I will now come up with another answer! After all, there is much I wish non-pagans, or non-heathens knew about the heathen path.

Something I feel I must say is that yes, norse paganism has earned itself a bad reputation, thanks to highly conservative, folkist groups. It's a heartbreaking fact, but one that should drive us to fight even harder against prejudice and hate. Especially considering the large amount of LGBTQ+ people who make up the norse pagan demographic. A lot of the people who go against the traditional norm when it comes to their identity naturally drift towards unconventional spiritual paths as well, and to try and push them out of pagan circles is to deny them a fundamental right. What I wish more people knew about heathens is that so, so many of us are kind and open-minded people. I have met amazing people thanks to this path, all of whom fought fiercely against exclusion and hate in heathen circles. As practictioners of an open practice, we have a duty to make it so all may feel welcome to join if they desire. I'm proud to say that as it currently appears, at least in my area, we are making progress in that direction. The only ones who are not welcome in the norse pagan path are those who discrimate against gender, sexuality, ethnicity and religious roots.

🧭 - What led you to your practice?

I'm proud to say that I have been pagan for nearly eight years now! The story of how I became pagan is really quite ordinary. There was no "grand reveal", no being somehow "called out to". No God came down from the sky in a flash of light to tell me to worship them. I had already been practicing witchcraft for a little while, and had been atheistic pretty much forever. I didn't know about the existence of paganism at the time, and I had never even heard about it once. While browsing the web for witchcraft inspiration, I stumbled upon a prayer to Óðinn and two main thoughts crossed my mind: A. for some reason, the fact that such a religion exist feels so amazing and relieving to me; and B. this is the religion I was supposed to practice all my life. It was as if spiritually speaking, I had subconsciously been waiting for this specific moment to happen and now, every piece of the puzzle had clicked into place. This was the simple, logical and natural beginning of my spiritual life.

[coolspork]

Maybe this is completely unfounded but a lot of times I see discourse surrounding the act of fandom flattening out commentary dense works into YA love stories and there's always a large group of people in the "just let people like what they like it doesn't have to be deep" camp. And I'm constantly reminded of that quote from the Iranian official (i think it was a govt official? I could be wrong) about how America's heroes are all fictional. Like we are a society built on vapid aesthetics and disregard for other parts of the world because we're culturally dominant (that's a whole other discussion, but the short of it is even our non-militaristic global presence is destroying cultures) and by and large we tend to take moral direction from film and media (also a whole other discussion, also problematic to say the least) which is why those moments of solidarity on TV back in the late 20th century were so fucking huge because Americans take direction from media and if the media says maybe we can get along then that might just change minds. Which is kind of a ridiculous premise but it has been shown to have a real impact on attitudes in the home alongside other social justice work.

But back to the thing about YA novel romances, when we refuse to engage in what little cultural direction we're spoonfed there becomes a whole population of people that have read books critiquing major power structures in our country such as authoritarianism, militarism, police brutality, racism post-civil rights movement, and (very prominently) classism, but have no desire to engage with the work the author is doing, or think it isn't relevant to them despite these being issues present at every level of society. Now you end up with huge groups of people spewing "no ethical consumption under capitalism" to soothe any guilt that may arise from irresponsible consumption or support of bad actors and bigots, popular depictions of characters with real world cultural importance that have been reduced to the caricatures they were made to break from, and most jarringly the constant reminders many Americans ignore that rich people are not our friends and very little they do materially benefits anyone but themselves and the culture that upholds them.

People who view themselves as progressive will sit around all day laughing at gamer bros and incels for being mad that deadpool is queer and not a white supremacist, but will become extremely defensive if you point out that the hunger games had real political critique relevant to the fact that they want to spam post about taylor swift and the met gala but won't repost a single link or gofundme for refugees or those effected by any number of global crises because it "ruins their blog" or "annoys their followers" or whatever their specific reason may be. It's not that you can't enjoy the shallow aspects of a piece of media but repeated refusal to engage with one of the few easily accessed and popular vehicles of political discourse that young Americans have access to is just irresponsible. People constantly say "it's not our fault, we were never taught this" while reading dystopian novel after dystopian novel. Somehow the only one I've seen make a real impact is Handmaid's tale and I'm certain that it's because it depicts explicitly American white women in a Christian state, which is something a lot of agnostic white liberal feminists resonate with, but they never acknowledge that these sorts of things have and do happen in the real world to women that don't look like them.

Americans feel good about themselves for giving a thumbs up whenever they see something going on, the black square fiasco during the George Floyd protests being a very visible example, but won't allow allegorical media to challenge their world view, won't hold celebrities to higher standards in terms of monetary and cultural action, won't address their own biases that may effect how they engage with this sort of content, but they want all the praise for being politically "correct".

I just think we need to be a lot more honest about our reliance on fictional media as a country and how that's produced "it's not that deep" attitudes that refuse education when it's so rarely handed directly to you. If you're upset you were never taught something, teach it to yourself. If you were upset you were asked to find a deeper meaning in an author's words, ask yourself why acknowledging that depth feels threatening.

[alt-bluesman]

Animal Crossing memories, part 1

New Horizons was my first Animal Crossing game. I recently picked it back up after about 3 years of barely touching my Switch and got into it again. The floodgates of memories and nostalgia opened far and wide. Just like in 2020, the game came at the right moment for me (and many others), but for different reasons this time!

... then my enjoyment was abruptly cut short by the Joy-Con drift, lmao. I used the console for less than 700 hours in total (so not even a full month), diligently keeping it clean and shielding from any damage. All in vain! My left analog stick started showing signs of the dreaded drifting within half a year of first use and soon after it got so bad that it rendered any game pretty much unplayable.

So I did the thing. I sent my Joy-Cons all the way to Czechia for free repair (there is no official Nintendo distributor/representative in Poland). I'm glad this is still an option because it is honestly the only right thing to do after the whole Joy-Con blunder. I hope they don't replace the hardware with the same trash parts they used the first time!

While I'm waiting for the controllers to come back, I may as well go on a little trip down the memory lane, just for the heck of it. I went through my gallery and found out I have almost 300 screenshots, holy smokes. I'm usually not this eager to save screenshots or clips, but I'm so glad I did it! Now let's jump right into it and pay a short visit to the island of Pan!

I went into the game knowing almost nothing about it. But everybody was talkin' about it, playin' it & lovin' it, so I wanted in! The first moments were enchanting, I was completely unfamiliar with the rules and mechanics, so having to figure it all out on my own was very exciting. That's how I like to approach my games - the less I know, the better. It's funny to look back at all the newbie mistakes you made. Huh? Well then... it's certainly funny to me!

(I used to think that writing board posts affected the game and your villagers could somehow understand what you wrote!)

Katt & Mac were my starters. Not the worst, definitely not the best. Then all the bird villagers began moving in and I was fuming. With few exceptions (and penguins! I love penguins), I find AC birds to be rather boring and unappealing in appearance. And Pan was full of them. Pompom the duck promptly became the main recipient of my rage. Now cue the examples:

She really didn't have it easy on Pan, haha. Looking back on it though, it was all part of the fun! Some of my my most memorable moments were born this way! Made the game sorta challenging too because I wanted to move her out so bad. I also had no regards for island theme or aesthetics at that time, meaning when there was a bird house, there was fire, trash and barbed wire. And poop.

Later I bought a bunch of fakemiibos and kicked Pompom out with Rowan. I remember being frustrated out of my mind at all the birds, but then moving out villagers with cards became way too easy. I still regret buying so many of them, I think I will attempt to sell them except the absolute favourites. Focus on villager hunting as it makes them a lot more precious!

Oh I'm sure you won't, you poor thing. You know what's crazy? I don't hate Pompom at all anymore, I kinda developed some fondness for her after all the absolute mayhem I put her through. I wouldn't mind her coming back to my island. May we meet again in the future, Pompom... you moron!!

I have almost no recollection of visiting Harv's Photopia, but apparently I did that a lot! Least favourite villagers versus villagers I liked. And Katt that fell somewhere in the middle. She got stuck with cleaning after us, but at least didn't have to put up with ominous death threats while wearing dumb clothes.

Visiting and inviting friends was so much fun. Touring their islands, seeing their progress, drawing on boards, exchanging items or DIY recipes and sending letters are some of the best memories I have! The loading screens were abysmal & the lack of mini-games was rather disappointing, but I still got a lot of enjoyment out of the multiplayer despite its limits.

One of my favourite things to do is arranging the villagers' yards based on their style, personality and hobbies. Those are old and outdated examples, though my decorating skills are still very modest compared to all the pro players - it's absolutely amazing what some people can pull off in this game. But even then, it's another fun thing to do. What else do ya need!

(Getting that first lily of the valley was a big moment for me, came unexpectedly & took ages)

Kangaroos are my most beloved species in AC. Sylvia was my fave for a long time, but I believe that spot belongs to Kitt now! I got Kitt from another player and based on what they told me, she was well loved on their island. All the gifted clothes she came with are so darn cute - especially the red bow she likes to parade in. I know she's just a fictional animal, but man, I just love my Kitt. I wish other kangaroos such as Marcy, Koharu and Valise were still in the game.

(Naturally, nothing could have stopped me from ruining Kitt. Nintendo has since censored "feck" and it's no longer allowed. FECK)

"Fatass" didn't get that kind of treatment yet! It raised to the rank of the most popular catchphrase on Pan. Along with, regretfully, "ketchup".

(It's a moment of triumph whenever my deranged ideas get sprinkled on whatever they say & the results turn out like this)

I love New Horizons to bits, but I have to agree with one of the main criticisms it received - the dialogue is overly polite and repetitive, therefore it feels rather lackluster. I didn't get to experience rude remarks nor Mr. Resetti's angry outbursts from the previous games. I feel like I'm missin' out! I wouldn't necessarily want to be constantly berated by fictional animals, but I wish this game made me experience a wider range of emotions. So sometimes I build those awful Snowboys just to get a small taste of what true AC veterans still fondly remember.

Credit where credit is due: I thoroughly enjoy the dialogue between villagers. It can be interesting, funny, witty and spicy, sometimes a bit mean too! I live for that stuff & always bolt towards them whenever I see them talking - it's one of the very best highlights of New Horizons for me that often appears to be overlooked by many other players.

_______________

End of part 1! I will share my final thoughts, favourite screenshots and future plans in another post because I reached the image limit in this one, lmao. See you soon!

[futuron-of-my-youth]

4 movies I saw for the first time.

I got to see several movies the last few days, I've never seen any of these before

The Last Starfighter: The CG was very smooth and looked really good for being such an early example of the special effects. The inside of the alien base looked like it might have inspired some of the Lego Space panels that had an octagonal shape, I wonder if the design decisions made at Lego in the mid 80's were at all related. I wish the acting were better, it was a solid little video game sci fi movie. It was surprisingly short with one specific conflict that resolved in a rather smooth progression. I'm sure it would have been a great movie if I'd seen it as a kid, but alas, that's not when I saw it. My least favorite of the batch, but... I was not disappointed.

Gaslight: When my friend said, hey, that's Angela Lansbury, I almost didn't believe it, she's a saucy young house maid who dotes on a police officer in this movie; I guess she got her first role in this film. As for the movie itself; it's good, really good. There are lamps everywhere in this movie... if you like streetlamp imagery, and lamplighters, this movie is downright gorgeous. Easily my favorite of the batch.

AmbuLAnce: Michael Bay made a bank robbery movie about a getaway on an Ambulance in Los Angeles. I thought it would be about the day in the life of an Ambulance... well, it was that too. My friend started by asking me if I wanted to watch an entertaining review for it, and I said, no... but somehow he got me to give the review a few minutes of my time, and then I said... yes, I will watch Jake Gyllenhaal act like an angry bank robber having a bad day in an Ambulance for 2 hours. It was a very fun movie... my second favorite of the batch.

Outland: I've been on a bit of an 80's sci-fi movie viewing kick, so when Outland was brought to my attention I kept trying to get it into the rotation... and my friend kept asking if I wanted to see Galaxy Quest. Well, I prevailed... and we watched Outland on a really early, poor resolution dvd in pillarbox widescreen. It looked rough. Sean Connery's a police marshal for a small mining colony on the Jupiter moon of Io. Miners keep killing themselves, but Io's isolated, grey featurless mining facility just might make anyone go a bit mental... that's the official report anyway. It's got Sean Connery sleuthing his way around a grey and white metal rig trying to figure out why miners are killing themselves. I enjoyed it, I wish the resolution was good, (It looks like there's a much better bluray available, so I may revisit this film just to see a good printing of it.) The movie was a fine example of a cop movie with the pleasing industrial aesthetic of 80's sci fi. My 3rd favorite of the batch.

So that was quite a lot of movies for one weekend, there wasn't a bad one in the batch... although... Outland really should have never been released on dvd in such poor quality.

[vivifrage]

Mm actually thinking of Herrah being badass enough to stare down Destiny's paracausal forces like, I think that also goes into the themes of each story, from what I have seen?

Like, Destiny, it's in the name. There is something you are there to do. You are the Traveler's chosen, Eramis calls you a pawn, etc.

Hollow Knight, in contrast, is about denying destiny/stagnancy.

Both involve like, Light/Dark and stasis/change, in different ways, including their format. Yes they're both video games but they're such different genres, plus Destiny is much longer-running with two games plus it being live service. You could probably make a goof about Hollow Knight being relatively stagnant right now with all its DLC done and Silksong still being worked on, while Destiny is live service and all.

Okay themes though and I'm putting it under a cut just in case.

Okay so like, Destiny. Traveler's chosen, pawn, the Gardener and Winnower's game, etc etc etc. Hell, even in the gameplay, from what I have seen you are largely doing as someone else asks. You do your missions to someone else's instructions. Forsaken is a bit of a break and that was "the Guardian is causing problems with their vengeance quest."

Hollow Knight, yes, the Knight is called back to Hallownest to end things, but if you want to do it right, you have to be what people do not expect. Heck, to do it wrong you still have to change things up.

A huge part of Hollow Knight is the necessity for change. Vespa's ghost mentions it. The Dreamers, at least partially, admit that for things to get better, they have to be taken out because otherwise things will remain as is and "as is" is Bad. Both the Pale King and the Radiance's antagonism comes from wanting things to stay the same - but the difference is they think their idea of the same is better, thus the other/the unbelievers must be destroyed.

Even in going and fighting and freeing the various ghosts, you have to enact change to improve things. The ghosts are stuck as is, unable to move on - many to the point they don't realize they're dead. Often, ending the fight includes them changing their minds/behaviors, or at least explaining it.

The "better" endings are ones where something changes. It's not just the vessels changing, it's the Radiance being ended once and for all, in a way the Knight was not expected to when the Pale King made the Vessels. They're an active player in their choice to kill the Radiance, not a passive, well, vessel for her to be poured into.

It is still a video game, so in a way it is doing as others tell because you have to find things out somehow. But there is so much less direction in Hollow Knight. You get some instructions but by and large you have to wander around and figure things out yourself. There's not really much in the way of explicit progress markers except in the Hunter's Journal and maybe Seer tracking your Essence counts. Destiny, meanwhile, gives you instructions for strikes, bounties, patrols, the quests, pretty much everything, both in terms of outright progress markers like the bounty counts and NPCs giving orders. You're doing your job.

Interestingly, Hollow Knight also splits stasis/action pretty evenly between Light and Dark. Both the Radiance and the Pale King had their kingdoms flourish, but both tried to make their rule eternal when that is just not how nature works. The Void is thought to be pure emptiness/nothingness/stillness, but it acts on its own, thrashing all about, the Knight has to take an active role in the plot as mentioned above, and it seems like it also had a kingdom. Meanwhile, in Destiny, Light seems more attuned to growth while Dark is more attuned to stillness, with less in between. The game seems to be heading more towards a need for balance between them, but they're still at odds. In Hollow Knight, the strongest spells incorporate both Light and Dark, but in Destiny, while we may use both, it's not melded together in the same way.

Grimm also adds an interesting new dimension with his comment on shadow and fire dancing together so prettily. In Hollow Knight, Light and Dark are not the only choices. There's other aspects out there. However, I don't think Destiny has introduced anything beyond them, at least not as major players.

Hollow Knight's story is, presuming Silksong doesn't get as much into Light and Dark, pretty complete. Which, reflecting on it and looking forwards in Destiny, makes me curious how the latter will go. I think we're starting to see that balance, but in what form will it take? Will we be freed from the orders and games and turn the game's very name on its head?

[thunderjolt]

pokémon brilliant diamond

i honestly thought i'd make this post after i played the postgame, but fuck it, i have too many thoughts swirling in my head about this game and they need to be LET LOOSE. if the postgame interests me enough i'll write another post/addendum to this one.

so, brilliant diamond and shining pearl have been... contentious ever since their announcement. from had bad graphics in the initial reveal, to still kinda bad graphics in the second trailer, to some gameplay changes that i'll cover more later, i didn't go into this optimistic. and i can't say i came out of it positive! well, not strictly positive anyways? fuck it lets talk about it

so, as this is a remake, i figure i'll structure this by mostly talking about what changes were made and how i feel about them. but first, let me make my feelings on diamond and pearl clear, so that we're all on the same page.

pokémon diamond and pearl are some of the worst games in the series. sinnoh is not irredeemable, and platinum did a lot to improve its pacing, level curve and pokémon variety. but vanilla diamond and pearl suffer from very slow battles, very slow traversal, major issues with the number of HMs required to progress, and among the series' worst pokémon distribution. they sit easily among my bottom tier of pokémon games. this is all to say that a fairly faithful remake of diamond and pearl would've never been a favorite of mine, and to contextualize everything else i'm about to say. so, now that the problems that a remake may seek to fix are established, as are my feelings, for context, let's get into the Big Changes:

CHANGE #1: FORCED EXP SHARE

so, this one is the big one - if you're reading this and somehow not aware, the gen 6-onward exp share is perhaps the most divisive mechanic in all of modern pokémon. how it works, unlike in gens 2-5, is that it's a key item, rather than a held item, and that the leading pokémon, rather than splitting exp with one pokémon, instead gains full exp while the rest of the party gains 50% of the exp earned. as a result of not splitting the experience, this results in new exp being created and your entire party gaining some. this mechanic very easily leads to pokémon getting overleveled, and balance of the games has really not found a way to make it work. a lot of people hated this when gen 6 first dropped, but i didn't really mind it in any of the 3ds games - and in fact quite liked it - for a simple reason; you could turn it off. with one opening of the bag, you could self-regulate your party's exp gain and prevent any overleveling. while some enjoyed turning it off completely, it was clear that the games were at least somewhat designed around it, and most agreed that using it in moderation was the solution to having the best experience. then sword and shield rolled around and went "nah, we're just gonna make you use it." this made exactly 0 people happy, except for perhaps some weirdos, the type who are really scared of people being able to turn off a thing in a video game. now, with BDSP, we're seeing a change that i'm pretty sure actually made no one happy - forcibly inserting this mechanic into a game that never had it, and not adjusting the level curve at all for it. it's really hard to overstate the effect this has on the game. for the majority of the runtime, even if you're like me, someone who plays on battle style set and doesn't use items in battle, you hardly have to look at the screen. this game's level curve was blatantly not designed for this mechanic, especially not in any required capacity. it is easily the single change that hurts the game the most. hey, speaking of things that make the game easier...

CHANGE #2: FORCED AFFECTION

so, if you've played any of the modern pokémon games, you're probably familiar with affection. it was introduced in XY with pokémon-amie, that cute little feature that let you pet your pokémon and feed them treats. for doing this, your pokémon would gain affection levels - at each level, of which there are five, new boons unlock for your pokémon, encouraging you to give them more treats and pets. stuff like increased critical hit rate, extra experience, a chance to live with 1HP, and a chance to dodge even 100% accurate moves. these perks are quite powerful, especially by level 5, but they're most importantly optional. outside of obtaining a single pokémon, sylveon, you are never required to interface with this mechanic, and this remained true for every game afterwards until now. y'see, diamond and pearl have no affection, and therefore no means to raise affection. so, the developers of this game decided to take the easy way out, and tie affection to another, much older mechanic often confused with affection - friendship. the problem with this, of course, is that friendship is raised passively by doing, well, just about everything, so not gaining affection on your team is very difficult. unlike with exp share, however there is a way to circumvent this, somewhat - there exist a set of healing items known as medicinal herbs, which decrease friendship when used, in exchange for being real bargains. they're also, thankfully, available quite early in sinnoh, and can be feasibly obtained before any (or at least much) affection has been accrued on your team. this, however, requires... actually knowing that affection is designed like this in this game. i did not know this until a good while later, and was forced to have affection on my whole party. with hindsight, i'd have bought the herbs and this wouldn't have been an issue... but we all know that hindsight is 20/20. having these "cheats" forced upon me and even winning a couple major fights thanks to to them is not something i wanted, and something that certainly hurts the game in my book.

damn, i wrote that much about affection? this post might get kinda long. anyways, with these core changes out of the way, let's get to some stuff you'll have to progress a bit to encounter:

CHANGE #3: THE POKÉTCH

okay, so this isn't exactly a change, it's kind of more of the absence of a change? but it's easiest to just group it with the other things and i need to vent. so, pokémon diamond and pearl was originally on the DS right? and as the first series entry on the DS, it liked using the touch screen a fair bit. chief among those uses was the pokétch, a little in-universe watch that's used for both important, useful in-game features, and little novelties, like a coin flip application. the nice thing about the pokétch is that it's not a major pacebreaker - you just tap on the bottom screen, something you can even do while just moving around on the overworld with your other hand. therefore, even the less passive features of it, the ones that required player input, worked fine, because you could easily keep moving around or switch back to whatever you're doing. brilliant diamond/shining pearl's solution on a console with one screen that can't always be touched? keep everything the same make it big, dumb, and clunky. a press of the R button will open the pokétch in the corner of the screen. this is fine for passive things, like the party view and the step counter. another press of the R button opens up the menu, giving you a big dumb cursor to interact with something meant for a touch screen and fully taking away control of your character. this makes using the pokétch a real pain, and it makes what is pretty unambiguously the most useful app, the dowsing machine, almost unusable - how it works, if you're not aware, is that you tap a region of the bottom screen, and it scans a radius of tiles corresponding to your location, revealing the general location of hidden items. using this on the DS is pretty simple and quite rewarding, as sinnoh has an especially great collection of hidden items to find. it's so clunky in the remake however, that something i used constantly on the DS went completely ignored by me on the switch. and the worst part is that the gen 5 games had a perfectly functional second screen dowsing machine that was completely passive and could've easily been implemented into this remake! sometimes faithfulness doesn't pay. the pokétch also received a new app this time around, the hidden moves app, but i think discussion of that is more suited for...

CHANGE #4: THE REMOVAL OF HMs

sinnoh's HM problem is pretty notorious, so i think this is a change pretty much everyone, including myself, was looking forward to. but now that it's finally here, it just feels.... empty? like, HMs were annoying, but now, traversing through the map and running into rock smash rocks and cut trees just feels so pointless - this used to be a reward of sorts, access to special items and areas in return for using a move slot on something subpar, but now it's a couple of extra A button presses on every route. it's one of those situations where failing to design around a change, even one that should be positive, leaves it just kinda feeling hollow. ultimately, the change remains positive because HMs were a fucking burden in the originals, but it still ends up really not feeling right to me.

CHANGE #5: THE GRAND UNDERGROUND

another change is to the underground, everyone's favorite feature that nobody really got to use. as a kid, the underground, to me, was a place where i could get a couple of items and find cool touch screen gimmick traps to walk into and get out of on purpose. BDSP upgrades this to a much more involved affair, downplaying while not removing the multiplayer aspect, by adding numerous wild encounters. these wild encounters include some pokémon that are quite hard to find in sinnoh above ground, like the notoriously hard to obtain munchlax, so they're handy. they also, however, serve as another avenue to harm the game's balance, as pokémon encountered in the underground will be leveled based on your game progress, and more often than not will be near the level of the next gym leader you have to face. besides the obvious issue of giving the player pokémon that are arguably too strong at any given point in the game, another issue arises, as the encounters are most likely going to be above your level, and a gen 8 mechanics change means that catch rates are significantly decreased for wild pokémon above the level of the one currently in battle. this means even just going around the underground and catching whatever you can find doesn't really work out, as you can easily find your party unable to keep up with the output of what you find down there. the underground also represents a missed opportunity, as encounters from platinum or other new pokémon that could bolster the sinnoh dex's limited options are completely missing from it. overall, a mixed addition. better balancing the levels of the pokémon in the underground would've made it clearly positive, but it didn't quite stick the landing for me. it was big for some, though!

CHANGE #6: POKÉMON CONTESTS

this might be the change that makes me the angriest. in generations 3 and 4 (as well as omega ruby and alpha sapphire) there's a sort of side mode in the form of pokémon contests. they're quite simple in concept - a mode where pokémon compete in appeal rather than combat prowess, no doubt added to allow weaker or unevolved pokémon to shine in some area. in practice, contests have a ton of depth, with each move in the game having different attributes within contests, with potential for pretty deep and interesting strategies to be executed, especially in multiplayer, where you can face off against another human. BDSP changes this fairly deep, interesting, engaging side mode into a painfully simple rhythm minigame that also takes your pokémon's condition (another aspect of the original contests which is pretty much just Stats For Contests)

moves remain a factor, but you now pick just a single move for the entire contest that you can use in order to gain some positive benefit in the rhythm minigame. very few moves have unique effects, there's now more or less a handful of basic effects that each move gets assigned one of. the rhythm minigame is extremely simple and boring, especially to anyone who's played any even remotely demanding rhythm game. notes come by at a crawl, and don't even require pressing different buttons, just a single one. "twinkle twinkle little star" on donkey konga is more interesting. instead of music from the rest of the game or series that players may be excited to play, it's boring, generic original tracks. it all feels incredibly boring and uninspired, and leaves me wanting not just for the original contests, but for anything decent at all in their place. this is easily one of my least favorite changes made to the game by far. a total failure on every level.

CHANGE #7: MODIFIED BOSS FIGHTS

this change is the reason why this post is so long in the first place. i was ready to write off this game completely; a remake made by people who don't care, for people who don't care. but every time i think about this, my mind circles back to what maybe could have been. how much of all this was actually just mandates from higher ups? time constraints? people without passion don't just give cynthia's milotic flame orb to activate marvel scale.

almost every major boss fight in the game has been updated, and while it's minor for some, others have gotten fairly major revamps. a lot of this comes from just changing a couple moves and adding held items, which alone contribute so much to make fights actually interesting. let's take maylene for instance, the third gym leader and the first to change a notable amount.

her 3 pokémon are the same - meditite, machoke, and lucario. they're all also level 27, 27, and 30 respectively, the same as in the original. however, their movesets differ. while originally, only lucario had a held item (a sitrus berry), all 3 now have them - meditite now holds light clay, owing to its new role as a screen setter - it puts up extended light screens to help its teammates. this gives it a much clearer role and strategy than its previous moveset, which specialized in nothing, and it basically guarantees that some value will be extracted from meditite. it also carries flash, bulk up, and drain punch, giving it the ability to annoy with accuracy drops and potentially setup to put a decent dent in your party. machoke gains an expert belt, which synergizes with its new moveset of low sweep, knock off, bulldoze, and rock tomb, moves which give it impressive type coverage, hitting 70% of all pokémon super effectively, compared to its previous coverage of just fighting and rock. 3 out of its 4 moves now also drop the targets' speed, supporting the already fast lucario to ensure nothing can beat it. then, there's lucario, who comes equipped with a big root, to increase health drain from drain punch, maylene's signature move. bulk up comes in handy as well to boost not only its strength, but also its defense, which, in combination with the health drain and light screen can make it pretty hard to kill.

and i know, this isn't rocket science. it's not the most amazing thing in the world. but this is a series i've been a massive fan of for a long time, and a series with mechanics and possible strategies i know very well. i've had to see people talk about how boring and basic the battle system is for ages, not understanding the beauty and complexity it has the capacity for, and this game gives people a taste. it's not perfect, and the other factors that contribute to a lower difficulty level mostly cancel it out, but playing through the champion battle, the one that had clearly the most thought put into it, i had a smile on my face. i was full of joy, so happy that an official pokémon game was challenging me, engaging me, surprising me.

when i started playing pokémon brilliant diamond and shining pearl, and for much of my playthrough, i felt a cold, business-like hatred toward it. the game felt phoned in, so much so that i felt no passion toward it. the same passionless feeling of obligation the people putting this out must've felt, i thought. the cynthia battle made me think differently. like a child again, my imagination reignited by seeing all the pieces i'd seen all along finally put together.

you shouldn't buy pokémon brilliant diamond and shining pearl. you probably shouldn't play it period. it's not really worth much of the time or energy, and a couple good fights don't make up for its many, many shortcomings. but whoever at ILCA led the battles on this game, whatever team members backed them up, should get another shot, and this time with more time and money. some of the series' best could still be ahead of us.

[degraman]

Accidentally I marked it anonymous.My bad.

I wanted to share my thoughts regarding the topic you posted. Twitter has limits so I decided to send it here.

Well, You've already mentioned some of sensitive topic on steam page but there are things that aren't mentioned, one of these are sexism. Yes you mentioned adult humor/jokes but you see people are sensitive over details.

Yes being constantly horny can be considered sexism to the point of perversion and being a misogynistic narrow-minded can also be considered as sexism but we see these in many VN these days so why bother? you'll ask.

The thing is that you don't get only 1-2 Characters in the game like that but most of them including MC. Well she's worse to the point that I felt the urge countless times to just burn them all.

Yes the "adult jokes" were on demo they didn't seem too much but again the length of the demo was not enough to point them out.

I also remember you mentioned in one of your posts that you won't include the +18 so all ages will be able to play but the vibes Degraman gives you aren't for all ages. Don't get me wrong I was one of those who mentioned that I'll buy the +18 if needed however like a mentioned above, some people are very sensitive so you'll get negative feedback either way. Don't belittle yourself about that this genre isn't for everyone to begin with.

Degraman has amazing art CGs we all can see that, and soundtrack but it lacks depth. While the plot is good supernatural and all what you get is an idiot 24/7 horny af MC without self-respect and misogynistic LIs within a forced romance (more like illusion drama). I get that the gist of it is to show that her power makes them powerfull and all but where is the whole point of it? No attempts. Except the urge of being their guinea. Right! If this was like the first chapters of the basic route I'll had accept it but this was 3 whole routes with 2(?) love interest and herself. so at least the loners route should have been about their situation and not wandering around. Yes there are interaction with the other LI in loners route however it felt like loop.

I'll continue to support the upcoming acts of Degraman with hope that there will be improvements in the story.

I had left a 👍🏻 review on steam when I was playing Vincent route because I love horror supernatural romance and also I wanted to show my support somehow (I don't leave reviews in general) well and of course for the art, stunning CGs but while I was progressing the game I felt the urge to remove it so I did removed it after I completed everything. I have to say the entire experience left me with mixed feelings. I don't expect happy endings I love VN with depressing/sad/bad/twisted endings but what I dislike is stories with lack of depth. After experiencing every single endings including DLC I expected some progress in their so called attempt to save what's left. The accepting/loving both because they are one felt wrong. I'm not person who gets uncomfortable of things like that but this felt so out of place and unfortunately is what you get in the entire game.

I know the story is to be continued but I didn't see anything more than horny drama and a dull plot. Frankly I don't expect perfection and no one should expect that.

I'll continue to support the upcoming acts of Degraman with hope that there will be improvements in the story..

Good luck!

Thank you so much for such a detailed answer! These are your impressions, emotions and experiences. And they are valuable to us by themselves, no matter how positive or negative they may be.

It's a pity that the game left you with such an impression which forced you to delete the review.

You have led us to the idea that it is worth adding "sexism" as one of the trigger warnings to the game, in one of the next releases we will definitely do it. Thank you for the idea!

About the age rating. Perhaps we didn't express ourselves clearly enough here, but we never wanted to open the game to all ages, but only to avoid the highest rating. That is why adult content was removed from the game.

Anyway, this is our first game, and we will inevitably develop in some direction.

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with us, it is very valuable for us!

[aesopsbaby]

hello ^^

this is for your matchups (Cookie Run)

to start off, I am an INTJ-T, Gemini, and Korean-American. I’ve always been smart—though I wouldn’t say the best of my classes— and a quick thinker. I’m focused on my studies right now, and hoping to get into Harvard, or as least NYU. I’ve always been mature even at a young age, and knew that the world wasn’t just cupcakes and rainbows. some people have told me that I constantly look depressed lmao

I am a pansexual panromantic and a demiboy! I only have maybe 4 real life friends, and a good 5-6 online. I’d prefer to keep my life more private. I’ve realized how over the years I’ve progressively changed my perspective on life and people. I know how to evaluate different pov’s and just always magically know how someone is feeling. I know I used to be extremely selfish as a kid, but I try to treat everyone better after going through my own struggles. such as racism, homophobia, bullying, and much more. I try to include people who I have to work with as best as possible. If you were to summarize me in a short sentence, I am the therapy and clown of the friend group.

as for hobbies, I mostly just like to game! (This is the second exclamation mark ive used and it feels weird). I usually play pc games since I didn’t grow up with consoles, but with the exception of my switch. I play soccer—and thought I was going to be a sports star— but I really want to become a streamer if I’m still interested in it after college. If I make it to harvard/nyu, then I’d like to major in game design or English.

If you need anything else that I left out then please ask ^^ I probably forgot some thing since I have horrible memory! But take care of yourself and get back to your asks without rush 👺

I match you up with....

Cookie Run:

Timekeeper Cookie

She understands you really well.

And she also always manages to pick up on your jokes and give back the same energy!

Drabble:

"Heyyyy. Hey hey! Hey~~!"

You suppressed a groan,throwing your head back to show annoyance. Tilting your head to your left,you made eye contact with the source of the voice. A sneaky smile is somehow always evident on her lips.

Timekeeper frowned and furrowed her eyebrows,obnoxiously groaning and throwing her head back. Raising a brow,you stared at her as she continued to groan and frown before she glances at you and stops her movements.

"Hah! I'm mimicking you by the way."

"What?? I do not act like that."

"Well,it's true,you were groaning and--"

"No I meant,I don't act as dumb as you do."

Timekeeper instantly turned to look at you,an offended look on her face as she places both hands on her waist. "Now what is that supposed to mean,hm?"

Staring each other down for a few minutes,the air is tense between the both of you.

Then the sound of laughter erupted,both of you laughing and catching your breaths. Putting on such acts really helps Timekeeper to get distracted from all her stress,she's glad to be able to connect with someone like you.

I'm kinda bad with writing stories,,,so I'll put in some headcanons <\3

Timekeeper enjoys spending time with you as you understand her,and she understands you.

She literally does things that are chaotic. I mean come on,one of her quotes is literally "Why change time? Because I can and its fun." She definitely had set a trash can on fire once,let's all be honest.

And let's be even more honest here,you were probably the one to give her that idea-

You both can literally be talking about dumb shit one moment and suddenly be speaking about intellectual stuff??? Like?? How can the both of you go from "Do you think fishes can see air?" To "How do you think cultures came about? How do think the world was built?"

Honestly really loves your presence

She absolutely LOVES your attitude and personality because once she met you,you both immediately clicked-

She somehow gets all of your references to any jokes. And may sometimes continue on your joke with ease.

She would enjoy your company because she knows you aren't immature all the time. You know when to take control and stop joking around.

Admire how strong you are <3 You've been through so much and still managed to be a good person with an even better humour!

She would genuinely be really surprised if you were to catch onto how she's feeling when she's having a bad day. "You okay?" Is all you had to say for her to turn to look at you with wide eyes and an amused smile.

No one ever manages to understand her nor knows how she's really feeling so when you managed to quickly know she's feeling,she'll be relieved and appreciative. ^^

Same goes to you,really. She always knows how you're feeling and when you're joking.

She'll love to game with you!! But beware,,,she tend to get a tad bit competitive,,,,

Sorry this was sort of short! <\3

Goodluck for your studies!! ^^

I honestly love your nickname,,,,[INTJ-T Guy]. Thank you for your support! ♡

[silvermuffins]

NieR:Automata: oof, been a hot minute

Let me hit up two big topics before we dive in, for the maybe five people who will read this and the one of you who was awaiting this but already knows the deal: Firstly, the five month absence of anything from me was the result of work getting super busy (STOP MAKING YOUR MOVIES TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG, HOLLYWOOD, NOBODY ACTUALLY WANTS THAT). My other hobbies also got busy. And, well, both getting the PS4 going and liveblogging as I play games took more spoons than I was left with. Things are finally kind of chill again, at least for now, AND the two cats who pilot my meaty contraption actually agree on what to do, so here I am! Secondly, my laptop's keyboard is kind of fucky and some specific keys ain't workin' right. They are: A D B N X , . / - and enter. We may see some typos, folks! Or some completely incomprehensible bits, won't that be fun!

ANYWAY, let's get into it!

haven't even started the game, have no memory of where i'm at so we're just gonna Go

man i need a less awk setup

oh right fuck i got new internet and need to hook my ps4 up to it

hot damn i actually remember the new wifi password. doot doot updates and shit, probably shoulda done this before i started the post but you know what, I have never once in my life not been a disaster so why would i suddenly start now

okay NOW we Go

see if i even remember how to play

probably not

i have sidequests to turn in!

gee this map really is a lot bigger than i got to explore the first time through the game....hmmm

being friends with the meeses now really do be like "/walks out of vending machine" "/suddenly, MOOSE"

this leadup suggests either i am going to have to fight Jackass or she is going to explode me

i am pretty sure there is lore somewhere in this game as to why there is no day/night cycle but fuck if i have found it

found the Cruel Blood Oath! I am excited for this sword purely because my bestie and I used it for something in some of our secret fandom shenanigans--

i feel like this "project gestalt" is going to be relevant somehow

anyway i found jackass and it feels weird because i think even without the whole....alternate runthrough thing we've technically met her before

9S sweetheart please don't try to lie, you're bad at it

speed star wont talk to me which is fine because i suck at his quest anyway

fuck you, sir star

oh right this sidequest was shaping up to make me feel weird in the moral bits, like several others have done

Type-E?

ooooh

oooooooooh

dont like that

creepy chant starts up!

............i have questions about if those she was ordered to kill were really deserters

..............

well. at least she DID pay me.

2B did not confirm she didn't know

time to have a go at Daddy Serves

......i regret typing that but fuck it it's staying in

so he has 10 levels on me but i fight well and have healing items

.....sir are you going to just, have me cutscene kill you, or do i gotta get through another hp bar first?

iiiiiit's the latter

anyway pascal gave me monies thank u pascal

....wait what was i supposed to do to progress plot again? where do i find that out??? is there a main quest tracker somewhere???

literally right on the front of the goddamned menu letty be less stupid

....i don't have much to say to this part, okay, i already did it as 2B

i sorta wish i could find a list of the sidequests that are only completable as 9S? and maybe of the hackable things. just for completion's sake.

my cat really wants snuggles but has something against bent knees so she won't lapcat

forgot a dead machine's head hatches into emil

wha

flashback to the forest king founding....

time to finish off the photographs sidequest! see if this one will make me feel uncomfy in the moral bits,

it did not!

but as usual it was pretty existential

....i am losing steam i think imma call it here tonight

[isimp4hawkz]

The Thief

(Hawks x Fem OC)

this is an old fic of mine, back when i first got into hawks (what have i become?) i never published it. please bear with my undeveloped writing :} and on behalf of my pre-obsessed self, i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i did writing it.

-Edited slightly-

-Not 100% canon-

-Some aspects may seem far fetched-

Words: 2k

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Hawks’ POV

Recently, I've been cycling through a continuous loop of circumstances whereas every time that I'm about a millisecond away from saving someone in danger- the same, new, and hot pro hero swoops in right on the knick of time and steals my shot.

A spontaneous looker of a woman who went by the hero name Tundra. I hadn't ever heard of her before the little debut she had as of last week, as goes with most rookies. But this one was quick to gain her prominence in this city.

Do I honestly care all that much? Not really.

I think it's cool when a brand new hero who's fresh out of their side-kicking days steps up and climbs through the ranks, earning themselves a little popularity with the citizens as they answer their calls for help.

And to be frank, I've been taking it easy these days. More than I usually would. Out on the beaches during the day, and partying all throughout the night. Free time was scarce for me. I definitely won't put off having a good time while I still can.

Sure, if someone happens to be in danger on the way to the club, or down on the twisting roads that lead down to the shore, I swoop in and save the day.

The locals around here had basically memorized my name from years of service, but I was afraid that my name had become a blur in the mixture of countless other hero's.

Hell, maybe I'm just being dramatic. It's not like they could actually forget me of course. I'm the number 2 hero in all of Japan, how could you forget me?

You'd think that taking a short hiatus would gain me some sort of up in demand from the fans, but it was the exact opposite of that. I had fallen down to 4th in the approval ratings, instead of remaining proud in my little silver throne.

All because of her...and my own laziness.

And then, I decided that that was enough fun...to some extent...for now at least. It was time to head back into the city, and reclaim my throne—or, at least try to.

I settled onto the roof of my favorite building, it was the tallest one around here. If I wanted to catch a crime in progress, here would be the optimal place to start, where I had an eagle eye view of the city.

It’s funny, being up on this tower reminds me all too much of when I first met the vixen for myself.

An interesting encounter it was.

This is how it went;

I grunted when my wings had suddenly twitched with premonition midair. It was a natural reaction that occurred when something was about to happen, usually abruptly without much warning, a small shiver that pulsated through every single one of my feathers in the blink of an eye.

Instantaneously, two flashes of white sped past me in a blur of haste, followed by a gust of wind that physically made me wobble in my flight.

Ahead of me now flew someone. With a pair of wings as white as snow itself, feathers littered with black markings.

"Woah-" I uttered as I regained my balance, blinking in shock.

They were soon just a barely vivible spec in the distance.

'Huh...Well that's new. Can't remember the last time I saw another winged person besides...'

That person's name was long since lost in my memories. Last I heard, they'd transferred to another hero agency in distant city.

I'd only shrugged it off.

It was best to just continue my leisurely flight. I was in no rush, after all. I've waited this long to get back into the game, what's a few spare minutes of taking my time got on me?

The office building stood tall, barely piercing the sky. It's thin structure made it look like just the faintest breeze could make it topple.

A draft of wind blew viciously against me. It was much cooler up here, the air was naturally a bit thinner. Not that I wasn't used to it, but it had been well over a week since I'd gone here.

I exhaled peacefully as I took my perch on one of the building's edges, gazing down at the city. The sun was beginning to dip into the horizon, lighting the land with tranquil variants of orange and pink. People looked like mere ants from up here, scurrying aside toy vehicles.

The sunsets always looked so nice from here.

Most would see this as a time to be at home and prepare themselves for bed. But for a villain, it was happy hour. A time for iniquity to prosper in the shadows.

'Now then, let's see if we can find any-'

"Hey there." A voice had spoke from behind me, causing my feathers to stand on edge and bolt me into the air on instinct with one strong flap. I immediately whirled around, dumbfounded.

A woman stood before me. The pearly white pair of wings sprouting elegantly from her back and dotted with black markings taking me back to moments ago. They fluttered subtly as she studied me.

'That's strange...why didn't I sense her?'

She sported an inviting smile on her face, yet I could tell by the look in her eye that she was unsure of what to think of me. "Sorry for startling you. Come up here to wait for the stars?" She asks as she looks thoughtfully into the distant sky.

Her eyes shone a sharp grey that caught the sinking glow of the sun. The costume she wore wasn't exactly loose against her skin, ivory feathers imprinted into the fabric around her waist. Curves hugged in all the right places. Rather stunning.

'A hero?'

I must've been staring in a daze for too long, because she'd cleared her throat, shifting her weight from one leg to another in a little rocking motion.

I honestly didn't know what to think of her myself. I've never seen her before.

Mild curiosity somehow got the better of me in seconds. I'd've liked to get a bit of information off of her for my own self pleasure. A little flirtatious prodding would do the trick just fine.

"Now why would I waste my time lookin' up there when there's a much better view down here?"

She sucked in her cheek, never breaking eye contact with me as descended back down onto the platform so we were at the same level, hands dug deep in my pockets. Slapping on one of my signature lazy smirks, I continued, "So tell me, what's a beauty like yourself doin' all the way up here on this fine evening?"

My feathers had suddenly puffed up. It had startled me, but I managed to play it off with a small stretch.

That only happened whenever I wanted to give off a sense of superiority towards another individual, among other things.

She eyed my new display curiously. "Y'know, I could ask you the same—In fact I already did, actually—minus the little pick up line of course." She avoided the question, responding with a little quick-witted remark. It was hard to tell if she was hiding something, or if she's just being cautious.

"Well if you'd really like to know, I'm on duty. This is where I come to sort of survey everything."

She nodded, agreeing that that was a reasonable answer, and when I asked her about her own intentions, she responded with, "Oh, similar reasons. You're looking at a newbie trying to find her way in a foreign country, all while taking steps towards her dream of making something of herself.”

"New here huh? Excuse my manners, or lack of. Allow me to introduce myself. Wing Hero: Hawks." I gave her a curt bow, "Last time I checked, I'm still in the top 10 heroes in the country."

She gives me a strange look after taking my words into consideration. "Hawks..." The way my name rolled off her tongue as she sounded it aloud for herself made me swallow a lump. "In the top 10 you say? Never heard of ya—Granted, I've never really heard of anyone around these parts." She looked over into the horizon, rubbing her bicep. She seemed deliberately captivated by the colors settling onto the land.

'So she claims to be new to the country...'

I wouldn't doubt it too much. The honey color etched across her skin would definitely make others think twice about where she's from. There's also a small accent lingering at the back of her tone, I find it sexy.

Still, I'm rather curious about her, so I'll say something a bit more patronizing as an experiment, testing the waters or whatever. I bring my arms behind my head, looking over at the sunset. "Don't feel bad about being in the blind side. A newbie wouldn't know much about me in the first place unless they're some kind of huge fan, or even a stalker."

Then the look that burgeoned in her eye enthralled me. A corrosive flare. It spoke clear words. 'I don't like when people assume things about me.'

I almost bit my lip. 'That's hot.'

She sighed out nasally. "I can assure you, I'm neither one of those. Owl hero: Tundra." She barely spat that out as she crossed her arms, unintentionally making her breasts bulge in their bindings. "I've been on official duty in this city for over 72 hours now." She looked aside.

'Well that explains the wings.' Wouldn't a quirk like that be manifested from up North? But her skin and accent...She's a living cocktail.

And so I pressed on, chuckling. "I knew it. That cluelessness is bound to stem from lack of experience."

She raised an eyebrow as she met my eyes again. "Excuse me?"

The calmness in her voice was almost unsettling. It threw me for a loop. I genuinely can't think of any other female I've meet who could keep such a level-headed reaction up while being involuntarily insulted.

Those reactions were coaxing me to push her buttons. 'Let's see how far you'd go to remain in complete, professional control...'

"Don't take it personally, pigeon, it's just a fact." I was mostly betting on the bold assumption that she wouldn't take that nickname too kindly, and boy was I right.

"Pigeon?-" Her eyes flared along with a trembling fluff of her feathers. From the back of her throat came a short, rumbling sound resembling a hoot. Telling me I was crossing boundaries in a coherent avian language. Her pupils constricted, staring daggers straight through me.

'Hm. Definitely got bird of prey in her. Or maybe that's just her.'

I cooed mockingly in response, my wings unfurling widely to fan at her. Come at me.

The tension in the air weighed a ton as we stared each other down like natural enemies for a few lengthy seconds.

She seemed to have taken that as a challenge, but to my disappointment, she was quick to recompose herself, allowing her once erect feathers to relax against her back with a curt roll of her shoulders. Her eyes dilated back, though still a bit on the small side as she looked at me. I could feel it in every barb of my feathers, she was ready to tackle me a few moments ago.

It was sad to say that I found myself mildly disappointed. Mildly because to put it short, that reaction would've had my tail wagging if I were a dog. Well worth the effort it took to bring it to light.

She huffed out a breath. "You know what? I should probably be on my way. I'm wasting my time here. Good evening, Hawk man."

And with that, she calmly whirled around, unintentionally flashing me a great view of her juicy thighs and ass as she stormed off to the edge of the building, not forgetting to dramatically spread her wings.

Every step she took made those thighs shake. Holy fuck.

I had to will myself to not stop her. This urging curiosity to know more about this woman was certainly bubbling in its wake. Can't be the last time I'll see her. I don't think I'd allow it, actually.

She didn't look back as she jumped off the edge of the building, swooping down into the depths of the city.

I sighed, eyes promptly returning to study the calmness below. 'She's got a bit of a fire to her, doesn't she?'

"I'll stick a bit of a fire up your ass." A faint slur of mumbles drifted through the wind, making me blink confusedly as it reached my ears.

When I turned to look, there was no one.

[yooncuffs]

Enraptured

➵Genre: Gang/Mafia au

➵Pairing: Mafia boss and heir! Yoongi X Business and fashion design grad! Jimin

➵Word count: (For this chapter)  7,416

➵Contains: Organized crimes, white collar crimes, drugs, sex, slow burn, slight pining, heavy angst, dark past, childhood trauma, stockholm syndrome, light bdsm, one-side relationship, side Taegi, side Jikook, other fandoms not mentioned in tag, other additional tags to be added as story progresses. 

➵ Cross posted from: 

Inkitt: Enraptured https://www.inkitt.com/stories/romance/460585

Wattpad: https://my.w.tt/xHoFeMqNX4

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23117059/chapters/55312273

Summary: 

What if, what if you fell for someone you shouldn't, what if you already fell for him. Min Yoongi. You knew too well about his family and the danger that entails falling for a man like him. You Park Jimin the most priced possession of your family, the youngest son, the gem of this country as most people see you as. Coming from a prominent political family, who leads the country. You should be far from being acquainted from him. But what if he comes to you first? And he captures you, and for you to survive. You need to--make him fall for you.

                                               Chapter 1:  Éveil

éveil [evɛj ] MASCULINE NOUN 1. (fait de se révéler) awakening l’éveil de la sensibilité the awakening of one’s sensibility activités d’éveil early-learning activities

Heavy breathing,

and groans filled the air,

both of you trying to catch your breath,

you had bruises on both your knees.

You can feel your heart pounding harder and faster every second that passes.

He squeezed your hand tighter as he bit his lip

nervous but at the same time thrilled

with what's about to unfold.

You looked at your watch, as you can see the lights flicker in this dark alleyway.

You lost them, a breath of relief came from the both of you.

He gave you that tantalizing smirk, and you knew he was up to no good. He leads you to explore wildly and boldly and brought you to this chaotic but beautiful mess.

"C'mon baby, this is only just the beginning." He said as he pulled you by the hand and both of you continued running.

You were always like this with him, he loved breaking the rules and you loved watching him break them especially for you. There's always that satisfaction whenever you did something real bad and the thrill of it whenever you're almost caught but never have. You didn't really cater the idea at first but when he introduced this world to you there was no going back it's either all or nothing and you knew at the back of your mind that you'll always choose him, even if you didn't know where you stand.

"What if they catch us?"

You asked as you stared at his dark raven eyes in contrast to his bleached blonde hair.

" They never do ."

He answered and managed to give you a quick wink that only made you want to get passed this night and just do stuff with him more thrilling than what you're already doing.

Sirens echoed in the streets, and you were sure that it was you they were looking for, and then you suddenly encountered a police, immediately he then pins you to the wall, looks at you ravenously. Hungry for you and hungry to win, he then kisses you deeply holding your face tightly so that they'd look the other way and not notice you.

"You-taste so sweet baby" He breathed out inside you and you held back a moan as you pulled him by his hair and he gave you a subtle but filthy smile.

He's the master of disguise an innate criminal by blood: sly, quick, witty and a sucker for a good and entertaining act. This hide and seek that you always play was a game he would always win and would never want to lose from he uses you to beat his pawns as you are his queen and you on the other hand submits fully and indulge in the ecstasy of being used.  

"We lost them. Atta babe! " He exclaimed as he pulled out from your lingering, deep kiss and smacked you straight in your ass and you just gave him a faint but reassuring smile. It didn't matter to you if there were a lot of people around, for you all you could see was him, and you knew for a fact it was poisonous, because one way or another this will eat you up inside making your world revolve around this evil, evil man.

Lately you've been in a roller coaster of emotions, trying to understand what's running through his mind, as you try to hold back your emotions, you know for a fact that there was no emotions involved on his end and you always convince yourself to believe that; to avoid getting hurt. You always tell yourself that all you know is you need him close for your plans to come through, and that you needed him to be only yours and yours alone. But you also had your own vendetta, which you wanted to make sure you’re able to achieve despite all of these.

"Shall we head home, Yoongi?" You asked as you cling to his arm, looking at him intently hoping he'd agree and end this game for tonight."I think we've managed to get enough to buy a full meal for the 20 children in the orphanage I was talking to you about." You continued as he remained silent, his eyes darken and you saw him bit his lip then and there you knew there was something else running in his mind. No matter how bad he may seem and even if he’s doing unimaginable you still somehow manage to convince him from time to time to be good, and to do the stuff you do for those people in need. And that’s one of the reasons you still believe and hope he’d change... Somehow.

When Yoongi is in this state---thinking; he’s always planning new ways to escape, new targets to accomplish, new possible things you could do or make his people do. There was not a time where he’d just completely submit to what’s happening in the moment and indulge in it the same way you do. He always wants to be a few steps ahead of everybody.

"Yoongi..." You stopped yourself from walking and held him with both arms "Hey, what is it?" You said rubbing his arms trying to ease him and pull him back to his senses, because of this dilemma that he seemed to be devoured in, in his mind.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it baby."

He said gruffly, he then held your face and tried to force a subtle smile to make you believe, even though surely you know he's not convinced of it himself. You sighed as you knew it was more than nothing. 

But you let it pass as there are more things that you should be worried about, especially walking out in the open, if he's bothered and not in the right mind you know then that's the best time you needed to remain vigilant for the sake of both of you.

After walking a few blocks away from where you’ve been you then arrived at your destination where cars all lined up at this secluded, dark, parking lot and slowly the lights turned on and revealed these lavish cars, shining in their glory never been kissed, never been touched just like a fine young lady, slick, sexy, stylish and elegant and just enough to make Yoongi brush his hands through them slowly as he walks across all of them.

"Hmmm, Which one do you think we should pick to bring home today Jimin-ah?" He asked you but his eyes still locked in each car he passes by. His gaze so lustful as if looking at someone that he's ready to do unimaginable things with.

He sure loves playing with his cars like how he played with his lovers .

You thought to yourself. You remained quiet and walked behind him observing his every move and reaction. You let him enjoy his precious moments as you knew how he loves flaunting his cars.

"How about I'll take you on the ride of your life, baby?" He said touching the hood of this sleek black Bugatti with both his hands in front of him you flinched as he said that, thinking his words was meant for you but then it hit you real quick, and you scoffed a little and bit the inside of your cheeks holding back laughter you were about to make, seeing how Yoongi just literally called this car ‘baby’ almost as if you thought it was pathetic but you tried and erased that idea out of your head and just brushed it off, you were confident that there’s only one baby he should consider and that is yourself.

You then slowly walked near him and ran your fingers slowly through his chest from behind as your body softly touched his back "C'mon baby, the night isn't going to last any longer. We need to get home. I'm tired. Don't you want to take me on the ride on my life as well? " You whispered into his ears in the most seductive way to catch his attention back to you.

He then grabbed your arm aggressively that was wrapped around his waist, and made you lay your back on the hood of the car and he locked you down for a good minute staring at you, studying your features, as his eyes darken, with a burning desire, you can feel it pierce right through you, you can see it. All the thoughts that could be running wildly, marking you evidently and you bite your lip, wrap your arms around his neck pulled him closer to you without blinking and whispered "You're the only one I want to ride, Jimin."

You breathed out and you can feel his breathing getting heavier. You then laughed and pushed him away just like that you somehow told him off and let him remember his place, at least this way you had him in the palm of your hands, but just this way .

It is clear that both of you are spellbinded by each other's presence one way or another. You both knew each other's weaknesses and strengths like the back of your hands and both of you knew how to use it against or with each other. You complement each other so much that it's scary how the two of you got together with such minds it would either be a match made in heaven or a diabolical duo risen from hell and it's clear which path the two of you chose, or to be more specific: Yoongi made you choose.

"If that is the case then I think we should go home." Yoongi said as he pulled you up from being laid down and immediately opened the car door and signaled you to go inside which you immediately obeyed, Yoongi revved up the engine and drove out of the parking lot, with a smirk on your face sat beside him in shotgun, you then held the back of his neck looked over to him and said "We'll see about that."

You arrived at this luxurious five-star hotel and Yoongi slowly pulled over and parked your car in the basement

"Are you ready?"

Yoongi asked as he knew you both needed to change your masks from those cheeky rascals who outran and outsmarted the police to someone a bit more refined and whom everybody knows you as.

"When was I ever not ready?"

You asked and gave him a subtle smile before opening the door as if preparing for an extravagant performance.

Two men in black suits assisted you and Yoongi in opening the door and handed you both a bag of shoes and clothing. Yoongi then threw his keys up in the air for the man to catch "You know what to do, I don't want her to be mistreated or else." Yoongi said in a stern voice as he bent his arm for you to hold on to as the other man was left with the responsibility of the car, one ushered you through a private elevator that goes through all the floors with no surveillance cameras inside, especially made and used only for the owner of the building and a few VIP members.

"Sir you will need to pass by the lobby to greet the people, they’ve been informed of your arrival."

The man told Yoongi "Of course, I knew that. I wouldn't want to be rude to my employees." He replied, with his lips stretched out in a straight line and an eyebrow raised. But then it was immediately replaced with a smile.

Right before the elevator closes he then pressed a button to make the elevator stop half way and then both of you immediately changed out of your dirty outfits to these tailored-fit suits, wiped your faces clean, you put on a chapstick, patted your cheeks and tossed your fringe back, sprayed a little of perfume and wore your Chanel, Yoongi on the other hand brushed his hair back, wore his Cartier watch and glasses, and then slipped on his pair of Bolvaint leather shoes, and pressed the button once again.

Yoongi stole a kiss from you and smiled, held your hand tightly and breathed out just in time as the elevator opened right before your eyes and you didn't even get a chance to react. "Mr. Min! Good evening. Good to see you and of course Mr.Park, enchanting as ever. Welcome back!” A middle aged man in a suit greeted you both warmly “Here let me take those for you." He then offered to take the bags that both of you are holding "We're happy to be back home Herman, thank you so much. Maybe we should go ahead and greet the rest?" You said to the man giving you a warm smile, Yoongi then squeezed your hand tighter "Hmm sweetie?" You asked and looked at Yoongi, which Herman noticed.

"It's okay Mr.Park, Mr.Min must be tired from--" Before he even finished his sentence Yoongi immediately spoke "I'm sorry Herman, it was indeed a very long night and things are just... running crazy on my mind with the business and all." He said while rubbing his temple showing that he has a headache "Of course Mr.Min you don't have to apologize, it is understandable.” Herman said as he waved his hand pointing to the elevator which you’ve come from.

“Why won't you guys head on to your floor now, so that you can both rest?" Herman suggested "No, it's okay Herman we can go ahead and greet the others first before we go up." Yoongi replied with a warm smile on his face which undoubtedly made Herman smile as well "Of course, sir." He said as he slightly tilted his head down and pointed the way to the middle of the lobby where the employees are all already lined up.

"Welcome back Mr. Min and Mr. Park !" They all said in unison and then bowed to both of you, Yoongi then gave you a quick look, a look that you immediately understood, you then let go of his hand and he immediately smiled and went to shake their hands one by one and you smiled cheerfully as you bowed to whoever Yoongi was shaking hands with, as Yoongi finished with everyone, you then spoke.

"I believe we can't stay any longer to ask how you're all doing as we're dreadfully tired, but we do hope that you guys are doing great.” You said with a warm smile “Thank you so much for your loyalty and service." You said and held one hand out to reach for Yoongi "We do really hope we can stay longer, but we're pretty sure all of you must be tired as well so I won't hold you guys any more.” Yoongi waved his hand out to you and tilted his head down a little as a gesture for a bow “Thank you so much for your time and we'll head up now. Good night everyone!" Yoongi waved goodbye to all of them and you rode back on the elevator where you initially got out and went all the way to the top floor, the penthouse.

"Mr. Min, Mr.Park. Good evening." An old man greeted you upon arriving at the floor "Alfred." Yoongi said and just gave him a nod and went past him and laid down straight on the couch " Rough night? Jimin-ah?" He whispered to you, as he noticed Yoongi's aura.

"Tell me about it." You replied, knowing how different Yoongi was all night despite the slight exchange of smiles and banters you had with him, something was different and you yourself felt that something was off about him. You just gave Alfred a sigh and went straight to where Yoongi was.

"Let's go to bed baby, come on you'll be able to rest properly there." You reached your hand out gesturing to Yoongi to get up but instead he pulled you down to him "Where's that ride you were talking about earlier, huh?" He asked as he licked his lower lip and stared at your face and then to your shoulders which was exposed a bit in front of his face as he held onto you tightly with your body against his, hip to hip, chest to chest, you felt your body starting to heat up, but you tried to resist it as you knew that after tonight that would be the last thing you’d want to do.

You tried to wiggle your way out of his grip but he was too strong "Yoongi, can we at least go up first?" You demanded and just let out a teasing chuckle.

"And what do I get in return if I let you go?"

You just stared deeply into his eyes not knowing what to answer him or what he expects for you to say.

“You’re crazy, Agust D. Maybe we should try and see for ourselves.”

You said and pulled away, you then immediately stood up and brushed yourself, but before you walked further away from him he pulled you in and hugged you from behind and whispered.

“Do you want to know how crazy I can get?”

And he bit your earlobe and turned you to face him, “Do you want to find out?” He said while putting your hair behind your ear and gave you a smirk you knew you could never resist.

Your life wasn’t always like this before: dangerous, outrageous and sinful those are three words you never thought you could describe your life before you met him, Min Yoongi, he had a lot of names you first knew him as Agust D the grandson of the infamous crime syndicate leader, the guy who has been running all his life from the crimes he and his family had committed and continues to do, but not once was he suspected as he was also Mr. Min the inheritor of his father’s business: the largest luxury hotel brands with more than 393 upscale properties across 68 countries on six continents.

But to you he was Yoongi, the man who captured you-- your heart at that.

He’s a rascal who always wants to get his hands dirty in every context you could think of, he always wants to personally do the dirty work even though he has lots of people for that, he said he would better know how things work if he does them himself. He loved playing Bonnie and Clyde with you and you on the other hand fully offers yourself to him in whatever he does, wherever he goes, you give in to his demands, you feel enraptured in his every command, weakened by his whispers.

It was dangerous, outrageous and sinful and yet you lived for every second of it. Although at the back of your mind you know it’s wrong, as it should never have been this way.

You’ve woken up by the sun’s beaming sunlight through your big high windows with blinds half open. You then reached for your side you heard a soft groan which made you smile. You then faced this man beside you who's still sleeping soundly. Your eyes carefully scanned his whole body only covered with a soft, warm duvet and you brushed his hair through and caressed his peaceful face. ‘How can a man look so angelic but live the kind of life that you do.?’ You thought to yourself.

“Do you even realize how lucky I am to have met you?” You said under your breath and you snuggled closer to him and hugged him tightly, he then slowly fluttered his eyes open and gave you a soft subtle gaze, it was foreign and it felt almost sinful “I guess that makes the two of us.” He said in a raspy voice. You both continued whispering sweet nothings to each other, you loved this feeling, waking up beside Yoongi all vulnerable and genuine nothing to worry about, no one to hide from, nobody to escape from just you and him.

But you knew that this wasn’t the case, this isn’t some romantic film that you watch in the movies it’s Min Yoongi we’re talking about here Mr. Min, Agust D and because of that it makes it difficult for both of you to just be normal as it never really was normal right from the beginning.   He’s always busy day and night and sometimes he would leave you alone to go on business trips for days.

“Mr.Min, they’re here.”

Alfred knocked and said over the door which made Yoongi get out of bed immediately and wore his robe and you were left alone in bed, you held onto Yoongi’s hand and gave him a look telling him to stay “I’ll be back, stay here Jimin. Don’t go out. Okay?” and just like that he pulled away.

And you stayed in bed sulking as he had matters to attend to but you had no choice but to follow what he said, you then got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. There was no point arguing with him when it comes to these, as it was like this right from the beginning. It has been a routine he does even way before you came into the picture.

Your day usually starts off like this, you both wake up, Alfred knocks at the door at some point, Yoongi gets out of bed and he tells you to stay inside the bedroom until he comes back to the room either in a bad mood, or in a rush to prepare for work, and when he comes back he would either catch you still in the shower and he’d join you for a steamy quick exchange or if not he’d just go ahead and take his shower and be all dressed up in his neat, slick suits, leather shoes, favorite watch and his glasses he then tells you he’ll be back but that doesn’t give you the certainty of how long he’ll be gone, he kisses you on the forehead, on your cheeks and finally gives you a long lingering kiss on the lips that would make you last long, you don’t know how long but it does seem to do the work for you, sometimes.

“I’ll be back baby, okay? I promise, I’ll make it up to you, we'll do the usual.” He breathed out and held your face with one hand “Just promise me to stay at home if you want anything just tell Alfred and he’ll get it immediately for you.” His words always have a way with you, no matter how much you’ve been fighting your thoughts not to give in, not to believe him and be deceived. You know behind all the masks he wears, there’s still something in him that makes you want to believe, believe that he might change somehow... and his promises to you will still be fulfilled.

As soon as he said that he hands you a phone “For urgent matters, call me through this phone. Okay, baby?” he gives you a quick peck and leaves.

You trail down the stairs with your silk robe drying your wet hair as Yoongi had just left. “Alfred what’s on the television right now?” you asked and he scanned through the television for you “Mr. Park, I don’t think there’s anything good in the television right now.”

Alfred said as he scans through the channels quickly “I suggest you watch movies or a series, Mr. Min updated our subscription on Netflix they’re pretty great! A lot of new shows and movies.” He said and immediately changed the screen to Netflix even before you got the chance to check the channels out yourself “Alfred, can I not just scan through the television myself?” You asked, it was always like this Alfred does everything for you and by everything it means even holding the remote and scanning through the television for you.

You’ve watched a couple of movies as you sip on your second cup of coffee early in the morning, this is your normal routine but honestly you get bored of it as there’s nothing else you can do. “Alfred! Where’s Mrs. Lopez? Isn’t she going to come to clean the house?” You shouted to Alfred who's probably busy doing something around the house desperately looking for refuge from your boredom as Mrs. Lopez is the only person you talk to outside of this household that sometimes seemed more normal than Alfred and Yoongi. “She will come, Mr.Park but she’s scheduled in the afternoon today.” And you just let out a heavy sigh at the disappointment of what you’ve heard.

“Alfred, can I go out today? Please?” You begged, but you already know what his answer would be “Mr.Park, I’m sorry but as instructed by Mr. Min you need to stay inside the house until he comes back or until he says otherwise. But of course you can go to the gym, or the pool but I would have to accompany you and we’d have to bring Chanyeol and Hoseok for your own security Mr.Park.” Alfred said.  

At least I will get to see Hoseok.’ you thought to yourself “Ah, Hoseok. How’s your son by the way, Alfred?” You asked him and he just replied to you with a smile. He’s another person other than the names mentioned earlier that’s also your friend and someone who's keeping you sane while living here, you try and chat with Chanyeol at times but he seems to be more focused on his job and more obedient to Yoongi. You laid down on the couch and stared at the ceiling, almost fed up by your situation, sure you understand Yoongi and his protectiveness over you but sometimes it just gets to you. And it makes you realize your actual situation and set-up with him.

You even think that sometimes he doesn’t trust you enough. Even though you're bound by your deal.

“Okay, I’ll go for a swim then.” You said and decided it was better than nothing and you got up and immediately went up to your room to go ahead and get changed.

The splashes of water echoed into the indoor pool as you dive deep down the clear blue water, the pool area was solemn there was no one else there but you. Thankfully Alfred, Chanyeol and Hoseok kind of gave you some privacy by staying outside the pool area and are just in front of the door entrance “I want to get out of this building, I hate being locked up here. I want to go shopping” You said to yourself loudly which echoed in the whole room.

“But actually no. I know what’s better, to see the park, be around trees, breathe in the fresh air and not just this centralized air conditioning atmosphere.” You said catching your breath, panting after doing 5 rounds back and forth in this 30 meters swimming pool.

The solemnity of the pool area was only temporary when it was immediately disturbed just moments after your argument with yourself. “Sir, you’re not allowed to go in there as of the moment.” You heard the commotion just outside of the pool area “Excuse sir, but we said you’re not--” You stopped in the middle of the lap as the body guards were trying to stop this man from coming inside of the pool area “Mr.Park, we have to go.” Alfred went near you on the edge of the pool handing you a towel, you then went near him and got out of the pool.

“What’s this commotion all about?” You asked nonchalantly as you pat yourself dry using the towel “Am I not even allowed to use the pool in this hotel? Can you please explain to me why?” The man asked trying his best to keep his calm but you can hear it in his voice that he’s kind of irritated because of how the body guards are still trying to stop him “Can you please let go of me? I won’t do anything bad. ”

With a smirk on his face he raised both his hands as if surrendering, and you just signaled them to let him go, “I’m sorry of course feel free to enjoy the pool. I’ll be leaving anyway.” You said in a low tone embarrassed by how they were acting and because the man was kind enough to not lash out on you or them, you then walked past the man and handed Alfred the towel you were using and reached for your robe.

“I hope you enjoy.”

You said in a cold tone but before you fully got out of the pool area.

“Jimin, that’s your name right?”

The man said with a smile on his face and it made you stop from your tracks but even before you could say a word and go back to that man Chanyeol and Hoseok already blocked your way.

“Thank you so much, but please do tell your bodyguards to not be in other people’s faces just because they want to use a public utility that you are using.” He said in the same tone he’s been talking since earlier “I don’t think anybody will be as kind as me to understand.” His tone changed into a sarcastic one and dived into the pool.

Which you caught on, so clearly that it marked your thoughts.

The man you saw earlier still has your mind running.

“I don’t think anybody will be as kind as me to understand.”

There’s something that’s making you curious about him and you know there’s more to him than his kind and calm personality, one thing’s for sure you know he’s a VIP member by the way he acted around your guards , when they stopped him from using the pool. You stared at the high ceilings and wondered if you’ll ever get to know that man’s name and how the hell he knew yours.

Not any moment longer you got up from lying down and went on to the kitchen to get some food. “Mrs. Lopez! You’re here.” You immediately went in and hugged her. “It’s good to see you too, Mr.Park.” She replied a bit cold, opposite to how she usually greets you, warm and happy and he calls you Jiminnie. She responded back to your hug but immediately got back to her work.

“I’m sorry if I had to reschedule today, and work only half a day, as I had urgent matters to attend to earlier this morning over at my dear boy’s school.” She explains and continues with cleaning up the kitchen as she was previously doing.

“Oh, is it today?”

You asked with a low tone as you then understood why she must be acting differently. “Yes, Jiminnie. I went to Jose’s school to meet up with his adviser.” Mrs. Lopez let out a deep sigh  “---and we talked about Jose’s situation. I don’t want him to suffer like that, he doesn’t deserve to be treated badly because of me.” Before Mrs. Lopez continued you cut her words “Don’t say that Mrs. Lopez…”

You said as you softly caressed her arm to comfort her as she stood still and fixated her eyes on the blank wall of the kitchen and said “It hurts seeing him this way. I wish I could give my hijo a better life.” You bit your lip as your own life flashed before your eyes, despite the lavish lifestyle that you grew up in being born with a silver spoon, as some might say, you’ve still always wished to have a better life .

And this is also another reason why you empathize with Mrs. Lopez so much, as you know how much she really works her hardest to give the life her son deserves. And also because you know how much he loves his son, in contrast to your own mother. “You know what Mrs. Lopez, cheer up! Here’s my proposal, why don’t you bring your son over sometimes so that you won’t feel as bad not seeing him and worrying so much about him.” You gave Mrs.Lopez an expectant smile waiting for her reaction to brighten up and with the slightest delight you saw in her face you continued.

”I can help him with his assignments, we can play here together to also use up my free time and maybe even buy him toys if he wants.” You feel Mrs. Lopez's mood lighten up with the proposal you’ve shared to her and she just responded to you with a smile and a tight hug, you felt yourself start to tear up but you held in your emotions with the thought of missing your own family, regardless of how messed up they were.

As Mrs. Lopez pulls away from the hug and she proceeds with her tasks around the house, you silently trail over her lost in your own train of thoughts. Before the silence grew bigger between the two of you Mrs. Lopez spoke to break the ice “Mr.Park, I always wanted to ask something…” She stops, hesitant to even proceed with what she was about to say.

“Hmm? What is it? I don’t mind.” You replied to her to reassure her you were fine with anything she asks “I wanted to ask about your family, because for the many months I have been working here, and ever since we have started talking. Not even once you’ve mentioned anything about them.”

You flinched at her question and fell silent, you felt your heart tighten and you let out this deep sigh.

“Oh, Jiminnie you don’t have to answer my question. Forget that I asked about it” Mrs. Lopez tries to let out a soft chuckle to scour the heavy atmosphere “Anyway, I'll go on ahead and clean the bathrooms. I suggest that you stay in the lounge for this one.” She suggests and tries to get both of you out of the conversation, which might be for the better. With her question, you were left thinking about it yourself.

You never did talk about your family ever since you Yoongi agreed not to, as he won’t be talking about his either.

You haven’t heard anything from them either, it’s been months since you were gone. Technically you were never home in the first place but this is the first time where you were just around town and they didn’t actually know you’re here. You don’t even know if they’re looking for you as you don’t have your old phone with you ever since Yoongi had decided to throw it out.

But the thing is you also have no direct contact with them, for security purposes your family constantly changes their contact number being part of the government, so you had no way of actually getting a hold of them either, it’s a valid reason which also gave you an excuse to not even try to ask help from them, ask for help to get you out of your situation the first time you were in it.

“Jimin...hey.” Your thoughts are disturbed by the man’s faint voice “I see that you’re lost in your train of thoughts again.” He then chuckled faintly upon seeing you looking up at the ceiling completely drowned in this void that you seem to be in, you recognized the man’s playful tone and unconsciously showed a gentle smile and slowly your thoughts started to fade.

“Hey, Hoseok…” You sit up and brushed your hair to the side and looked at him as he was standing in front of you keeping a distance while holding a brown envelope on his side, your eyes are now seemingly locked at the envelope which you made obvious, but Hoseok just brushed off your curious stare and spoke up.

“Jimin, Mr. Min told me to inform you that he won’t be home tonight and that you shouldn’t wait for him--” Before he even finished what he was about to say you rolled your eyes on the announcement which was nothing new to you “He didn’t give a specific time or date as to when he will come home, but he told me that he’d just update you. ” And you noticed him kind of move the envelope away from your sight, which you caught on immediately.

“And what’s that envelope for?” You asked him on the spot as it seems he wanted you to ask him, opposite of leading you to not have your attention on the envelope. “Oh this? You don’t have to worry about this, just some work stuff.” He waved the envelope hesitantly and gave you a flat smile that shows off his two dotted dimples.

“Anyway, I’ll have to go ahead since Yoongi called for me just to fetch these for him.” He said somehow in a rush brushing off your conversation immediately. “If you have anything in particular you need, just go on ahead and tell father. I’m sure he knows what to do, okay?” He said with a smile while walking away towards the door, which you found kind of annoying at how Hoseok always takes control of the course of your conversation just by his charms and deceiving happy vibe.

“Wait, Hoseok! Tell Yoongi, that I need to get out of the house even if it means he will send a group of guards to watch over me. Please? I need fresh air, and we certainly don't have that here.” Hoseok just nodded, him being like that is the reason why even if you guys share a conversation or two at times, you still can’t fully trust him as he’s always still loyal to Yoongi. Much as all the other people in this building.

The night crept in slowly but you can surely feel the aloneness, being in your bed with a space so big it takes over you and the silence only grows louder. Ever since Mrs. Lopez said goodbye to you just moments ago and Alfred that doesn’t seem to be anywhere in sight since after your visit from the pool. You feel your spine tingle at the eerie atmosphere that starts to linger, you hated this, even if you try your best to psych yourself out and make yourself find the good in everything that’s happening to you, cooking up these plans and schemes in your head, it was not enough.

You still can’t brush off the fact that you're stuck in this situation without free will, and freedom itself. The complete opposite of the life you had before arriving in this situation. And you didn’t know who to blame, or how this all came to be. You wanted answers, and the longer you’re stuck here the more you want them bad so that all of this facade will be over and maybe you and Yoongi will be able to live normally by then. Because as of this moment being imprisoned here doesn’t seem like an ideal ending to a story you want your life to pan out to.

The moment you sealed the deal with Yoongi, you thought it would give at least a slight freedom and control over him, but the mere fact that he already took over you emotionally, whilst being held captive, already means defeat in itself, and you knew it .

You’ve been played in your own game, and maybe you’re starting to grow tired of it. As your lying down in your room you then turned to your side facing this huge window that gleamed with light reflected by the city, you sit up to reach for the phone that Yoongi gave you which was on the bedside table and open the drawer, where hides your stash of cigarettes, you took one and placed it in your mouth and walked towards the balcony and lit it up, you then opened the phone and dialed the only contact number that was saved there.

“Hello, I think we’ll have to talk.” You paused and bite your lip trying to hold back yourself from saying this, you’ve always said it to him either jokingly, or somehow in a way he won’t take seriously but this time you really just want to get over it, you can’t live like this any longer you feel like time is fleeting before you and you have so much you want to do, you’re running against your own deadline that is.

“It’s about our deal.”

You heard him sigh on the other side of the line and you can vividly imagine how his brows furrow, and his lips pursed as if he already knows what you would say, as if he already expected for it. But what else would he even expect if all you ever wanted in the first place was to be freed from being kidnapped .

And for him to fulfill his end of the deal.

Which was to help you find out the stench your family has been hiding away from you. Since they have raised you away from them, away from all the stuff they have been doing because you knew for a fact they weren’t as noble and as benevolent like people had always depicted them, you knew how your mother manipulates your father into signing papers he did not approve of, you knew that your loving father only says yes to your mother because of him not wanting your mother to lash out and leave him or worse maybe spill some secrets of his own, and lastly your well sculpted sister you knew that her obedience to your mother is only a facade to her personal vendettas and that she just wants the power, money and fame as much as your mother does. So much for a family whose name is well respected knowing that your father is one of the leaders of the country.

You tick at the mere thought that they actually do such things and it makes you literally disgusted by the idea that your eyes were opened to the truth that such things do happen in the government and worse your family is a great contribution to how dirty and rough the field is.

Despite everything, when you come home at times to meet your family, you keep a straight face and obey them as much as you could, you disregard your own beliefs for a moment and you absorb their wisdom, and accept their actions while keeping your stand untouched. You do your best to keep this information safe for future reference and for the day when you’ll be able to garner enough knowledge, power and help to correct the actions of your own family. You didn’t want them to continue to live the way they do, you’ve always taught yourself how to stand by what’s right especially being exposed to different kinds of people from around the world.

With this in mind you thought maybe you’ll be able to do this by the help of someone as equally bad as your family, or maybe even worse.

Yoongi .

It would be an understatement to say that his actions are bad and they’re not right. Because they are way worse than that. It’s not just like stealing candy from a baby, it’s stealing, deceiving, lying, manipulating, and probably even killing someone to take not only his candy but everything that flashes in front of his eyes; money, power, position, title.

“Ah, our deal. Yes.” Yoongi finally said a word after a few seconds of silence.

“I guess this leaves me no choice then?” He scoffed, but you can feel him let out a smirk.

“Yes.” You simply replied, you forced your eyes closed, grit your teeth and clenched your jaws, this overwhelming feeling of annoyance overpowers you.

You knew he was up to no good, he’s always up to no good. His words always have a way with you and you knew for a fact it was poisonous because you’re always on the verge of giving in to them, but this time. You shouldn’t . You need to start to have your head on your plans and get your problems solved, have answers to your questions and stop being so...

“I’ll talk to you about this in person. Let’s meet up tomorrow. But for now, have a good night rest baby.” He said in a tone more calm, and sweet almost

as if he… “Okay, baby?” cares for you.

[cmycursed-a]

✉ (I'm gonna be in pain, but Yancy?)

In the event of my muse's death they have filmed a good-bye video. Send in ✉ to hear what my muse has to say to yours.

Luckily for anybody who happened to be viewing this particular video, it was quite a bit more polished than some of the other personal videos other people may have received. Or maybe that didn’t matter quite as much, but it should be noted, somewhere, that Wilford much preferred the quality of this video. For what that was worth.

The video starts simply enough, with Wilford sitting neatly at the desk in his office rather than the one on his television stage. He’s alone for this one. It’s unclear why that’s such an obvious tidbit, but somehow, it is. His expression is... thoughtful. Although maybe his brow furrows before he begins to speak, presumably with heavy, troublesome thoughts flitting through his mind. 

     “ I owe you an apology. I think I’m going to start out with that much, before we get into anything too much heavier. “ As if he’s continuing his own inner monologue aloud. “ I... I do want to apologize. If you’re seeing this video, I’m going to assume something horrible happened for one reason or another, and that’s not very fair of me. I didn’t plan on bringing you into this family with the intent of putting you through so much grief and misery so soon into the game. I’m sorry. “ 

Wilford gives a soft sigh, then, pushing a hand through his hair. It’s clear he wasn’t ready to make this tape, even if he knew he had to. There was hardly a time for goodbyes when it came to this sort of thing, and he’d hate to leave things unsaid. 

     “ But we can’t-- I’m not going to be sad about this the entire time, that’s not what this video is about. I’m just going to start talking and hope for the best. Bear with me. “ 

Bear with him.

     “ ... I’m very proud of you, Yancy. You’ve come so, so far since you and I first met, and every day I’m more proud of you than the last. Every time the hugs go on for a second longer, or the smile on your face pops up a little quicker, the spicy jabs you make, the whole shebang, especially when we’re on one of our little outings... I know you’re making progress. And it keeps my heart warm. I like to think of life as one big blackjack game at the casino.       “ Sometimes, you’re dealt a bad hand right out of the gate. And-- and your heart sinks, because you’ve bet your last stack of chips on this hand, and you’re sure you’re going to bust if you don’t stand your ground. But if you do stand your ground, the chance of you coming out on top is still too low for you to hang your hat on. But. Your friends are there. You’re all drinking, you’re all laughing, and you are out having the night of your lives, and you find yourself thinking... so what? Maybe you will bust, maybe you won’t, but there are always other hands to be had. You lose, maybe your friends throw you some of their chips to make up for it, and maybe the next hand turns out to be a winner. But you’re painfully aware that, win, lose, or otherwise, at the very least you’re having a good time with the people you care about and who care about you in return. “ 

     “ The point is, your game is what you make of it. You may not win every time, but you’re certainly enjoying the ride, aren’t you? I hope you are, at least. “ 

Wilford sits back in his chair for a moment, absently fiddling with his fingers. There’s something on his mind again. Maybe he’s just not sure how to phrase it.

     “ I can tell you with some certainty that you’ve made quite the show of my own game. You and Dark and your sister. I think you all might be the greatest loves of my life. “ He gives a soft laugh then, seemingly refusing to look up at the camera for a moment. “ ... I’m... not a good person, Yancy. I don’t know if I ever have been. Maybe I was at one point; it might have just been so long ago that I can hardly remember now. But being with you three, being with you, makes me feel like maybe I’m not as bad as I thought I was. If I could somehow get you three to like me, how bad could I be? I feel... good... around you. I’m not worried about what might have been; I’m just happy to be around you.       “ You know, in some odd way, I think you might have been just as good an influence on me as I was on you. That sounds... conceited, I don’t mean it to. You know what I’m saying. “ 

He waves his hand dismissively suddenly, sitting himself back up only to lean comfortably on his desk with his arms folded underneath him.

     “ You’ve got a good, solid foundation to build your life back up on, mister. With or without me, you’d better get up there and make your life into exactly what you want it to be, come hell or high water. Do you understand me? You have an entire family in your corner whenever you need somebody to fall back on who would do anything and everything for you. You’re not alone, and you won’t be ever again. That’s more than most people can say they have. So you’d best make the best of it, hm? Have another drink and get the dealer to throw you another hand. “ 

There’s a smile on his face, albeit... a very sad one. He tries his best to power through it nevertheless.

     “ I won’t say goodbye. If you don’t say goodbye, then it’s not like you’re really gone, is it? You’re just not here right now. And I want you to know that I’m always with you, every step of the way.  I love you, Yancy. And whether you want to hear it or not, you’re my baby, and you always will be. “

Wilford flashes the camera a smile, just as the emotion seems to be catching up with him finally.

     “ Be good and do great things for me. You hear me, mister? I’m watching you! “ He points strongly at the camera, as if to give a mock warning, before the video finally cuts off.