#I mean the guy looks exactly like kaz

[eccentrichumanbeing69]

This reminds me of kanej

[targaryenluvs]

The crows are highly overprotective of child reader?

Little Crow

platonic crows x child!reader, kaz brekker x child!reader

mentions of y/n, seen as a girl - i made this in the middle of the night man it might not make sense at times - zemeni reader so dark skin, brown eyes and hair etc

It was hard living on the streets of Ketterdam.

No one bothered to look twice at you. Those who did would toss a coin your way and continue on, proud of themselves for helping a child.

Your parents were long gone, having dumped you on the step of an orphanage, two months shy of your first birthday. You were ten now, kicked out of your orphanage for starting fights which usually were just self defence.

There was an underground fighting ring that Ms Andero, the mistress of the Orphanage was more than willing to put you in, for a good price as well as punishment for the ‘trouble’ you caused. You ran away before she had the chance.

Two years on the streets had toughened you up for sure but you would do anything for a hot meal.

That’s why when the Crow Club opened up for a job specialising in information you did everything you could to get it. They were looking for someone female preferably, small and under thirty.

A very odd set of requirements but then again you wouldn’t want someone blowing their hip out after getting caught eavesdropping.

So you did your best to clean up, and you were on your way.

A sweet guy was waiting at the club, with a Zemeni man that looked bored beyond doubt. “Why are we stuck with hiring new recruits? Any of the dregs could’ve done it.”

The smaller boy looked up and smiled, “Because you kept hassling Kaz about getting a cat Jes.” The darker skinned man chuckled, “It was a cute cat, it looked exactly like Kaz. Just more smiley.” The two laughed as you slowly approached, “Who are you?” ‘Jes’ asked. “Uh I heard that there was a job open here?”

“Aren’t you a bit young?” You frowned, feeling rejection coming your way. “I uhm, I just really want a job. I’m fast! I’m super smart, I can jump roofs like realllly far. I can do anything and I’m so small people forget I’m around.”

“What do you think Wylan?”

“I think she’s pretty good for the job, no one would suspect someone so cute and innocent. Men are stupid and never suspect anything besides other men.” A woman spoke up from behind you.

You quickly stepped back, a bit frightened.

“Oh no, I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m Nina. What’s your name?” You meekly smiled, “Uhm Y/n.” “Well Y/n, you are hired.”

The first few days were daunting. You’d never imagined yourself stable nor with your own room. It was small, but you were grateful for anything. What you were yet to do was meet “The Boss” as Jesper liked to say.

But when you did you were met with a harsh, scary contorted version of a smile which made you want to run all the way back up to your room.

“I told you he’d scare her.” Inej whispered to no one in particular. You looked back at Nina but she only egged you on.

You slid into the booth and smiled, placing the parchment in your hands on the table.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr Brekker.”

“You have good information, you never get caught. You’re small and easy to conceal. As long as you don’t cause me or any one else trouble you can stay. Continue to clean up after yourself you are not my responsibility.” He spoke quickly whilst receiving a harsh glare from Inej, Jes and Nina.

“I always clean up after myself, I cook for myself and dress myself I’m completely independent you’ll have no problems from me Mr-”

“Kaz.”

“What?” He looked up from the floor, “You can call me Kaz. Not Mr Brekker, you make me feel twenty years older.”

“Okay. I uhm I found out about a heist and it’s fully planned out. I also may or may not have broken into someone’s office and stolen all of the plans for the heist and its right there.” You said sliding it over to Kaz, “They said it was for someone called Pekky? Pekka?”

Kaz looked at you straight away, “Are you sure? Where was the office?”

“Uhm across the street from that place everyone here hates. Golden Lions.”

Nina leaned in and whispered, “Dime Lions.”

“Dime Lions!”

For a second you swore you saw a smile or a smirk which was more fitting to the ‘Bastard of the Barrel’.

“You might just be a good addition to us, Inej can teach you more. Everyone be here by night, we’ll go over the plan. Be ready. Always be ready.”

Over the next few months you felt content. You were forever grateful you had the bravery (or so you called it) to take the initiative to go for the job in the first place and you ended up with an amazing family. You even managed to break ice with Kaz and he no longer labeled you “child.”

You’d become as great with your skills as Inej from constant training. You’d learnt to pick locks from Kaz, you loved sitting in on Wylan’s terrorism lessons, Jes even let you touch his revolvers after weeks of bugging, Nina taught you about her Grisha powers and different languages and Matthias taught you about Fjerda.

You finally felt confident enough with yourself to go out on a heist with everyone after begging Kaz to let you come. You’d originally wanted to break in and scout the place with Inej but Kaz shot the idea down quickly. It irked you. Did he think you were a liability? Not good enough?

Soon you’d learn it was the opposite.

You had been appointed to the role of lookout. Perched upon a nearby roof with Wylan, Jes would prove as a distraction, Inej would break in at the time and Kaz was inside, scouring the ballroom for a certain George Pell. The second his men approach with the problem of the breach he was to alert Jes, Jes would protect Inej, the two of them would make their escape as Wylan and you would let the bombs go off, giving Kaz his escape with all the other Lords and Ladies.

It was perfect, until it wasn’t.

For starters the security was 3x what had first been reported. Second of all a certain Pekka Rollins was in attendance. Kaz had made the mistake of not looking over the attendance list, mostly because it was an open invitation to the wealthy and no black list was in existence. Third of all, Inej had fallen sick, an infection of a wound.

Which meant you would be taking her place. Kaz had scoured the Dregs for anyone who could take her place but no one could compare to your skills as well as Inej’s.

“When you hear the bombs go off I’ll be at the door, you’ll know who I am because?”

“Secret code.”

“Good. Once you hear it, let me in, and we’ll go out the way we came in. We run back to the rendezvous spot and wait for the place to die down before making our way back. It’s important no one sees your face, this plan relies on anonymity. Pekkas men see us? We’re done for. Understand?”

“Got it Jes.”

“Atta girl.” He laughed as he ruffled your hair.

The two of you were perched on the roof, waiting for Wylans signal that Kaz had made it in. The flashing light had the two of you moving in.

As you lowered yourselves in you heard an explosion which had the two of you drop to the floor. Jes had knocked over a display. Which caused a guard to bang on the door, “Who’s in there?” She asked.

Jesper grabbed your arm as the two of you hid behind the door, as she entered Jesper shot her point blank. As you looked towards the necklace you were meant to grab.

Jesper dragged her body to the side and looked out the door before closing it. “We need to hurry this up, I don’t like this night. This mission seems off.” You nodded as you picked the lock to the cabinet. The glass seemed to be Durast made, trying to shatter the glass and attract more attention seemed stupid and you were sure the glass would be hard to break.

You heard a pop and you carefully opened the cabinet to extract the necklace. The best way to steal something in your mind was to act as if you already owned it. Before putting it on you hastily grabbed a nearby gown and put it on, to play the part of course. Not because it was absolutely breathtaking. You quickly clipped the necklace on and asked Jesper if he could change it somehow in size or colour.

“I- what? I can’t I’m not-”

“Jesper don’t act dumb. I’m ten not stupid.”

He laughed, not as big and sweet as usual but still. “Why do you hide it?” “I, I don’t know. I just feel people would treat me differently.” You hugged him as he stumbled back. “I love you no matter what Jes. If anyone says anything I’ll stab them.”

He smiled as he wrapped his arms around you, “That’s good to know, no one will come after me if I have a big scary protector.” You withdrew, with a faked look of shock, “I’m not scary!”

“I detest. You scare me every day. With your little knives and intelligent self you put us all to shame.” As you were about to respond you heard shouts and screams, indicating it was your time to go. As the two of you returned to the skylight you came down from you saw three men inspecting the rope you used to repel downwards. “There! Bloody criminals!”

The two of you ran towards the open doors, to be met with guards rushing at you from both ways. “Shit, what now?” You spied a door in-front and grabbed his hand as you rushed towards it.

You were met with a stampede of people trying to exit the buildings. You both ran into the crowds, hoping to blend in, which you did successfully. As you rushed out your dress got caught on something. By the time you freed yourself the ballroom was empty and Jesper was nowhere in sight.

You were captured within seconds, and you decided to not fight until you were locked up or alone. It would give you time to put your thoughts together, but you didn’t get the chance since you were promptly knocked out with a punch to the face.

You woke up in a bedroom, shackled to the bed. Your dress and hair was the same and thankfully the necklace was still on. The distorted shape hid its real size and original self. You looked around and realised it was still nighttime. But you couldn’t tell if it was the same day or not. As you inspected the shackle you realised the lock was simple. One of the many locks Kaz had you practice with.

You took the lock pick you kept in your boot out and began. Under a minute the lock was off, Kaz would be proud, or happy or whatever emotions he can feel. You thought.

You looked around the room and notice a small window, higher up, letting the moonlight bleed into the room. There was a bucket on the side, next to the door and you shuddered to think of what it was used or intended for. You were hot, the room was small and cramped, much more so than your room at the Slat. You quickly undressed, much more comfortable in your normal shirt, vest and pants. You tied your hair up and slipped the necklace into a hidden pocket. Before making your way to the bucket, placing it on the bed and hoisting your self up to the window.

You weren’t high up, one storey it seemed and you could make the jump most likely but you didn’t want to leave anything up to chance. You used the sewer pipe and uneven bricks to climb down into the alley. You ducked behind a bunch of crates as you noticed a guard walking past. Once he was gone you ran.

As fast as possible, you made your way down the surprisingly empty streets. Richer homes, light lamps still on, cafés with an abundance of flowers out front.

You were in a nicer area obviously.

After running for what felt like forever before you entered familiar waters. As the Crow Club came into view you ran faster than before, your legs ached but you were so close. You weren’t going to stop until you knew you were safe.

You barrelled through the doors and ended up on the floor as you heard people make their way over to you.

“Saints Y/n you scared us to death. We thought they got you.” Inej said as she hugged you tightly. You scoffed, “Please I’m the fastest person in the Barrel, you honestly thought their fat asses would get me?” She smiled as someone spoke up.

“Well they obviously did. Look at you.”

Kaz spoke as he rose from the booth, leaning heavily on his cane. “All the Dregs are looking for you. I’m so sorry Y/n/n I should’ve kept you in front of me. Look what they did to you.” Jesper frowned as he took your hands, getting you up from the floor.

“It’s okay I’m okay.”

“Both of you, go grab Nina from the Slat.”

“But-”

“Now.” The two looked at each other, Jesper shrugged as Inej sighed, she knew better than to press Kaz, especially when he was in a bad mood.

“I knew you weren’t ready.” He said as he approached you. “Hey, I am ready. Everyone makes mistakes Kaz. Nothing goes exactly to plan, otherwise there wouldn’t have been a plan B, or C or-”

“You could’ve been seriously hurt, or injured. I don’t need a liability on the team, someone I have to constantly worry about.”

“Aw, you worry about me?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Sure sure Kazzle. As much as you hate to admit you have a soft spot for me. I’m not a liability and you know it. I can handle my own, I just need more training. Plus the plan was already awry before I got nabbed. Wylan already had bombs going off the second Jes and I were inside.”

“He was ambushed. The light wasn’t mean to go off, you were meant to wait until all the guards were drawn away, busy directing the guests inside. Then you were supposed to go in, come out the same way. If George was alerted I’d let Wylan know and Wylan would draw their attention with the bombs. He was fighting someone off and turned the lantern on accidentally. The bomb as well.”

“See? We’re only human.”

“It was a stupid plan, not only did we all blow our covers but Pekka saw me. Now the Stadwatch will come around with accusations but nothing solid. You were taken for hours, beaten and on top of it all we didn’t get what we wanted.” Kaz spoke as he turned and made his way up the stairs as you followed.

“Oh didn’t we?” He was about to open his room when he turned sharply. “Y/n.” You giggled before taking the necklace out, “I know it looks a little funny but it’ll be back to normal once Jes gets his hands on it.” A slight smile tugged at his lips, “Impressive.”

“Ah! That was a compliment. I think I may die of shock Kazzle.”

He shook his head and you knew he was smiling. You sat on his bed as you admired the room, you’d never been in here before and it was pretty standard but what shocked you was his taste in books, poetry?

Kaz Brekker reciting poetry seemed like a funny dream.

He slowly made his way back to you, with a damp cloth and bowl of water. His breath wavered, “Sit on the chair, stay still.” You complied and sat idly, a book in your lap. He slowly brang the cloth to your lip, wiping the blood away.

After a few minutes he withdrew quickly. You looked in the mirror and smiled again, Kaz Brekker had a soft spot for a street kid, who would’ve thought?

Whilst he sat going through his own work you sat going through his books. By the time you finished your books the day had seeped through the window as you felt your eyes grow tired and before you knew it you were asleep.

You woke up to the nice smell of waffles and syrup. As you got up you realised you weren’t in your own bed, no you were still in Kaz’s room. To your right on the table was a tray of food.

“Eat.” And you didn’t need to be told twice, after eating your own food and returning it to the kitchen you sat at one of the chairs in front of him. “Have you eaten?” Kaz didn’t respond, “Did you sleep?”

“You were in my bed how could I have slept?” You tilted your head, “I was on a very comfortable chair. Not the bed.” He looked up slightly, “Your neck was in an odd position so I moved you.” You smiled, “Thank you.” His eyebrows contorted, “For?”

“Everything. You could’ve kicked me out on the street when I showed for the job. When I messed up in cooking you didn’t shout, when I was training you didn’t get fed up when I failed. You had patience when it came to me. Most people would’ve thrown me out by then. You took a chance on me. On my first job I messed up and you still kept me. Thank you Kaz.” Kaz stood from his chair and so did you.

He looked down at you, “I was a child, on the streets like you. I did not meet the right people. No one took me in. I was alone. You showed potential the moment I talked to you first, I wasn’t going to let the same thing happen to someone I’ve come to, value.”

“I’m assuming that’s your way of saying I love you and I love you too Kazzle.” Before you knew it you hugged him. You immediately tried to pull back but an uncertain gloved hair rested on your head, shaky and ghosting but there.

“I love you too.” He wanted to say, but he couldn’t.

And if he couldn’t say it? He’d show it. He protect you from the horrors the barrel had to offer. The crooked people and places.

He’d keep you safe.

Because of Jordie.

No, because he loved you.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

It’s one in the morning let’s talk Six of Crows analysis - it feels like it’s been ages since I did any analysis, which is like the entire point of this account so sorry about that but here we go: We should talk more about Adem Bajan you guys okay because first of all he effectively comes to represent the vast majority of everyday people in a clear juxtaposition to both Inej and Van Eck, but he also is in a position of far less choice than I think we give him credit for.

As a reminder, Bajan is a young Suli boy (presumably somewhere around 19 but we have no confirmation of that) working in the Van Eck household teaching Alys music. He is highly implied to be having or to have interest in having as affair with Alys, and was Van Eck’s chosen jailer for Inej at the beginning of Crooked Kingdom. Van Eck claims he made this choice because he thought “a Suli boy would be most conspicuous” when he was attempting to lure Kaz into a trap to save Inej, but it was also an inarguably smart decision in that, as Inej even comments herself, Bajan was easy to talk to, made her feel nostalgic, homesick, and alone, and very nearly succeeded in drawing information out of her without having to restore to torture. If anything, resorting to torture was Van Eck’s major mistake at this point but that’s really a conversation for another time. Bajan is a really interesting character because he doesn’t want to hurt Inej and specifically encourages her to tell him things so Van Eck won’t escalate things further, but when Van Eck does escalate things Bajan is unable - or possibly unwilling - to stop him. For this Inej calls him a monster, and when he claims he did nothing replies “no, you’re the man who stands idly by congratulating himself whilst the monster eats its fill”. She draws a Suli phrase on him that effectively means he’ll be rejected by the community forever and his spirit/soul won’t be accepted, and she describes it as the worst fate or something along those lines sorry I can’t remember exactly. But what’s the most interesting thing is that even though he claims not to believe in any of it Bajan gets noticeably upset by this and says “that’s not fair”. Inej is surprised that he’s this soft, and there’s a very clear juxtaposition between the lives they have lived.

BUT - let’s look at this from Bajan’s perspective. And remember - this is important - Bajan is not described as an employee of Van Eck’s, but an indenture. An indenture. So Bajan is a young boy indentured in a foreign country to a man as high up in the country’s government as you can get and who has clearly been illustrated to the reader as a terrible person on several different levels that I won’t dissect in too much detail right now. He appears to have acclimatised himself to Kerch surroundings and acts with elevation above his status, because that’s what he has to do to survive in the upper echelon of a deeply classist society that actively diminishes and disapproves of his culture. (<<if anyone wants references for that let me know and also I’ve written about it quite a bit before so that’s kicking around on my page somewhere) He refuses to speak to Inej in Suli because “it makes me maudlin” and my question to you is: is he rejecting the language to further attempt to fit in and as a product of internalised prejudice, or because it’s so incredibly painful to be half-connected to a culture not only that he has forced himself to reject but also that he feels he can never safely return to? Probably both. He tells Inej he doesn’t believe in Suli superstition, religion, or culture, and yet is deeply upset when she uses it against him. Is this because he actually does believe, or wants to believe, in the Saints and the Suli interpretation of them but has rejected them for survival and the supposed betterment of himself? Possibly.

Bajan strikes me as very similar to Jesper in the way he presents himself as free, flirty, and casual, but had a considerable weight to almost everything he says and considerable pain hidden closer to the surface than he may have realised. I think there are parallels between him and Inej if we want to see them, but also a very stark difference in the way Kerch and Ketterdam have treated them. Bajan may not be privileged but even as an indenture he has - or at least as far as we know has had - a far safer and kinder experience than Inej has. This could be related to gender since the hyper-sexualisation of Suli culture is mostly centred on women - “the Menagerie always stocked a Suli girl” (I’ve intensely analysis this quote before so I won’t now but ugh there’s so much to say) - but we do know there are young boys captive at the pleasure houses as well although less commonly and it’s also possible that this difference is linked to Bajan’s decision to turn his back on Suli culture in order to appeal more to Kerch society whilst Inej continually embraced her culture and arguably became more religious in response to her experiences.

This is complicated because I’m not entirely sure how I feel about Bajan. I understand and support Inej’s perspective and everything she saw whilst in a far more dangerous position that he was, but is it possible that this was a lonely boy who saw someone he thought was like him and tried to communicate with her the only way he thought was safe? You are completely isolated in a foreign culture and hate yourself for having suppressed your own upbringing in order to survive, but now you meet someone else who yes, is in more danger than you, but who you might be able to help so that she can help you in return. You aren’t safe to speak freely and so you subtly tell her that you are an indenture, hoping she acknowledges that none of this is of your free will and because you know that she was indentured too (and remember from a societal pov there is very little understanding of what indentured girls at the pleasure houses actually go through and although that doesn’t excuse ignoring Inej’s trauma it may explain why he doesn’t fully acknowledge that their positions aren’t equal), you tell her that speaking your own shared language makes you feel maudlin, hoping she realises that you desperately miss your homeland and using your language makes you feel even further from your family than you already are because you can’t share it with them. She doesn’t seem to be taking any of it in, your employer has every intention of hurting her and you don’t know what else to do, so you make a last plea: you ask her about home. You think you’ve already made it clear that speaking about home is painful, so you ask her about it to invite that pain, to share it, so you both understand. But it fails, because she only sees your employer puppeteering you. You openly beg her to tell him the truth so that he won’t hurt her but she refuses to comply, and after all of your efforts and your desperate attempts to connect and beg her to help you both go home, her response is to turn your home against you and banish you from it for eternity. So when you see her the next morning, how could you possibly look her in the eye?

Bajan did not make all of the right choices in his brief time on the page. He didn’t. But maybe he was trying really hard, and he had no other options left.

Anyway I’m not saying this is definitive one way or the other it’s just an interpretation but I find him a very interesting and very sad character and I although I support all of Inej’s actions in these scenes from her point of view I do find myself wondering how she appeared to Bajan and how he felt in the aftermath.

[modelbus]

Kaz Brekker ladies and gents!! I just HAD to write more of him, sorry to my mcyt fans… and this is a hefty one at 4K words

There is violence, alcohol, death (murder…), and suggestiveness in this! Be warned!

Part one

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Gn!Reader

It’s All An Act

You don't talk about it. Neither of you acknowledge that anything is different. Kaz sends you out on jobs, and you come back with blood-stained hands. It's nothing out of the normal, but something about it just feels different.

It doesn't help that you’re resolutely avoiding him the best you can. If you don’t have a buffer there—Jesper, Wylan, or Inej—then you simply won't be talking to him. Not while the memory of his hand on your hip is still present.

"Now that was a good job!" Jesper cheers, slinging an arm around your shoulders. You laugh, leaning into him easily. 

"I only had to save your ass once." You joke, grinning.

"What's a job without some ass-saving?" His gaze flits around the Crow Club, undoubtably looking for Kaz and Wylan. The two were arriving last, having to do whatever they were doing. You were in no position to question Kaz's secret plans.

"True." You relent.

"You should drink! Come on, celebrate with me." Jesper knocks on the bar, and a cup of liquid is sent your guys’ way within seconds. Amber-colored, pretty in theory, but you know it's a bad idea. You know what happened the last time you thought it'd be a good idea to drink.

"Jes—"

"A little celebration. Nothing crazy." He winks, offering her the glass.

Your shoulders slump, and you’re about to take it just to indulge him, but a hand snatches it before you can. Gloved in black leather, Kaz raises it with raised eyebrows. 

"Boss!" Jesper exclaims. "Join us, we were just celebrating our victory!"

"You don't drink." Kaz says lowly to you, eyes raking over you. You frown, knowing exactly what you’re both thinking of.

His hand on your hip, leaning in too close to you. Quiet words, things you still puzzled over in your head to this day.

"First time for everything." You answer, stubborn. "Or, second time."

"That's the spirit!" Jesper cheers. "Knock it back."

"No." Kaz tells you, firmly. Then, without a second thought, tosses his head back and drains the drink. He drops it back on the counter and strides off, up towards his office.

"Buzzkill." Jesper sighs.

"Who is? Kaz?" Wylan asks, appearing out of nowhere. There's gunpowder smudges on his face, too-wide eyes peering at them.

"When isn't he?" You respond with a question, rolling your eyes.

"Everything go fine on the job?" Jesper questions. "He doesn't normally drink like that."

"Yeah." Wylan nods. "Explosions went perfect. I mean, one was a bit bigger than expected, but he said that was good!"

"He means it." Jesper quickly says, consoling. "Right?" He asks with a sideways glance to you.

"Right." You nod.

"Wy, you've got gunpowder on your face." Jesper laughs, reaching out to rub it off his cheek. It smears, becoming worse. Wylan bats his hand away, flushing red.

"You're making it worse!"

"I'm trying to get rid of it!"

You laugh quietly. "I'll go grab a towel."

You stand up, letting Wylan take your seat, and head towards the stairs. There's a closet up there, near Kaz's office, where you can surely find something to wipe the gunpowder off. Hazard of being an explosions expert, you suppose.

Opening the closest, you scan it for towels or wash cloths or anything. There's a dark grey one, so you grab it and shuts the closest. The hairs on the back of your neck rise, and you spins toward Kaz's now-open office door. He leans casually against his doorframe, both hands enclosed over the cane in front of him.

"Going to ask before you ravage my supplies?" He asks you.

"You pay me, Brekker." You deadpan, crossing your arms. Just barely, you inch backwards.

These brief moments of being alone with him have been filled with more fighting than usual. It's no doubt a result of how standoffish you’ve been to each other recently, and you hate it. You miss cracking jokes with Jesper, watching Kaz as you do to see if he'll give in and smile or not. He never does, but it's nice to pretend sometimes.

"You're not hurt." Not really a question from him, but he never really deals in questions.

"No, it's for Wylan. He has gunpowder all over his face. A bit suspicious should the stadwatch come in here."

Kaz nods, which is as much permission as you’ll get for taking the hand towel. "Return it after, Assassin."

"I'll send Wylan."

"I'm not asking for Wylan."

One day, he'll kill you. Because what does that mean? Are you meant to take that as something positive or something bad? His facial expression gives nothing away, schooled in the same neutral one as always.

"I'll still send him."

His gaze hardens at your clear refusal, but he doesn't push it. Just stays silent as you turn away, headed back down to the crow club. 

"Assassin." He calls after you just when you’re an awkward distance away. Screw him. "Get your tolerance up."

"My tolerance?" You ask, momentarily confused.

"Alcohol." He clarifies. “It’s a weakness.”

You scowl at him, openly glaring. If that didn't sting you didn't know what would. This one, though, you don’t want to fight against. It was too close to the line you were trying to avoid.

"Fine."

-

Not many things are easy in life. That's just a fact of it, as clear as the grass is green and the sky is blue. Although the sky is more grey than blue in Ketterdam.

What is easy, though, is the slicing of your knife across someone's throat. Less resistance than most people expect from the flesh and blood under the metal, giving way with just a bit of pressure.

Kaz glances over his shoulder at you and the dead body at her feet, startling. It's not very noticeable, per se, but you can still tell. From the slightest widening of his eyes to the downward twitch of his lips, you know.

He had no idea someone was behind him. And that was exactly why you were put on the duty of following him tonight. 

For a second he looks at you, then just keeps walking. You huff out a laugh.

"No thanks?" You ask him, crouching to rifle through the now-dead man's pockets.

"You're doing your job." He snaps. 

"I'd still appreciate a simple 'thank you.'" You pull out his wallet, flipping it open. "Dime Lions." 

"Great." Sarcasm. It makes you smile.

"He's dead now, so no worries." 

You snap his wallet shut and tuck it back into his pocket before jogging to catch up with Kaz. There wasn't much of value in it, but you take the Kruge that's in there. Enough to paint it as a petty robbery, although Pekka Rollins will know better. The stadwatch, on the other hand, won't. Which is exactly the point.

"Why are you walking with me?" Kaz asks, stiff and pointed.

"You didn't know he was behind you." Concern, hidden well, is tucked behind your words. Kaz isn't a dumbass. He knows to watch behind him, to pay attention. 

So why wasn't he?

"I had it under control."

"Brekker, if I wasn't here—"

"I pay you to be here. I had it under control."

Warning. You’re pissing him off, but you aren’t going to stop. Your lack of self preservation is just like that sometimes.

"You could've died due to your brooding." 

His eyebrow quirks up. "Brooding?"

"Thinking about whatever it is you're thinking about." You amend. "Revenge, or murdering babies, or whatever Kaz Brekker thinks about."

He turns his head towards you, most likely to scan your expression. You scan his first. There's the faintest hint of amusement in his eyes, making the fight drain out of you. You wonder what he finds in your expression.

"I prefer not to murder babies." Kaz finally answers, never breaking his stride. You light up, because that's a joke. 

"So revenge it is." You joke back, practically glowing.

"No."

"Then what, Brekker?" 

He stops, turning towards you. "Why are you still walking with me, Assassin? Your job is on the roofs at a distance."

You draw back, deflating slightly. You don’t let it show though, knowing better than to show weakness.

"Right." You turn away, vanishing down an alley to use the fire escape to get back up to the roofs.

Kaz keeps walking.

-

"Chin up. Watch my entire body, not just my feet." You instruct, darting in to lightly tap your opponent on the shoulder. Wylan sighs, jumping backwards far too late.

"This is hopeless." He claims dejectedly.

"Not hopeless. Just... difficult." 

You step back too, giving him a second to catch his breath. When Kaz told you to teach Wylan how to fight, you hadn't thought it'd go this bad. But here you are, in the basement of the Crow's headquarters. You’re desperately trying to get him to spar with you at least a little. Honestly, you’d be happy if he hit you even once.

"Come on, you've got this. Into the square then out. Anticipate my moves." 

Wylan lunges, stuttering forward, and you side-step with minimal effort. You’re slower than usual, more obvious. But at least he's trying, even if he's failing at it.

"How?" He moans miserably, looking down at his wrapped hands. Your hands are similarly wrapped, white gauze protecting her knuckles. Not that you’re hitting Wylan at all; you’ve been tapping him whenever she gets into range. 

"Everyone has tells. Even you." You dip your head towards him. "Think of Kaz. He slides his hand down further on his cane for a better grip before he swings it. That's a tell. Or Jesper, who angles his feet into shooting position before pulling his gun."

"How do you even notice this stuff?" 

"Perks of being a fighter." You shrug, lightly circling around him.

"I'm not a fighter." He points out.

"And we're trying to make you one."

Faintly, you can hear the noise of Kaz's cane approaching from somewhere. Doing rounds, maybe. You tun him out, focusing more on Wylan instead.

"So what's your tell?" Wylan asks you, making your laugh.

"If I knew, I wouldn't have one. You'll have to figure it out yourself."

He groans again, stepping back from you. You grin, shaking your head. "Come on, you've got this."

"I'm not made for fighting. I don't know how to look for a tell!”

You laugh. "I have immeasurable faith in you, Wy."

"Well I don't!" He throws his hands in the air, and you take the chance to knock him off balance. Before he can fall, though, you catch his wrist to keep him upright.

"Careful." You teas, ignoring his mumbles of curses.

"I'm starting to wonder why Inej couldn't have taught me." He grumbles. "Who cares if she's busy? What even is a tell?!"

"Angling shoulders before making a move." Kaz says, making both Wylan and you turn. "Because of a slighter frame, seeking the added power."

Not an insult, not from him. It's just a fact, a true statement. You choose stealth, speed, and agility over muscles and strength. To you, it's better. Because he's right; in a brute force battle, you’ll lose every single time.

You could write this off as him needing to know your weakness. That's just how Kaz was: he documented every weakness of every person, just in case. But something tells you this isn't that. It's something more, something you’re too scared to dig into.

And of course your tell is one she can't even fix, because he's right. You need that power more than you need to disguise your tell. 

"Thanks, Kaz." Wylan says brightly. "Maybe you'd be a better teacher."

You roll your eyes, grinning. "I don't see Brekker on the mat." 

"Lucky him." Wylan huffs under his breath, making you laugh. 

"I’m the one who ordered these lessons." Kaz informs Wylan, although they all already knew this. "So learn."

He shifts backwards, leaning against the wall. Watching.

Great. Now you feel like you’re being judged at how bad of a teacher you are. In your defense, you were taught to fight. Not how to teach others how to fight. There's no way to explain the dance, the intuition that'll take over when your life is in danger.

"Who taught you?" Wylan asks, and you freeze.

Not because you don’t have an answer, but because it's one you can't give. At least, not with Kaz in the room. He told you to keep your secrets, that he didn't want them. Well, this was one secret you sure as hell were keeping.

"Not a particularly kind teacher." You say, hoping that's good enough.

Late at night, freshly woken from a haunting memory, you can remember your training. Getting beaten within an inch of your life every single day. Learning how to fight become a necessity to survive, to avoid injury.

You won't be teaching Wylan that way. You couldn't stand the idea of hurting him like that. Of hurting anyone like that. Bringing pain to the helpless wasn't your style; and Kaz knew that. Which was exactly why they didn't have you do torturing in the Crows.

Wylan, wisely, keeps his mouth shut and raises his fists. You nudge his feet apart into a more proper stance, biting back a laugh when he nearly topples over.

"Saints, I can't wait until Jesper gets here."

-

The first thing Kaz says to you when you haul yourself up the Crow Club stairs and into his office isn't particularly nice. His back to you, standing over his desk. From the angle you have, leaning heavily against the doorway, you can see various papers spread out on it.

"You're late, Assassin." He says blandly over his shoulder. "By an hour."

"I know." You snap, because saints if there's one thing you don’t want it's to be chewed out by Kaz right now.

"Then why—" he turns, halting his own words as he takes you in.

You must be a sight for sore eyes to make him stop like that. Shoulder braced to against the doorway so she can lean on it, you stare back at him. Your arm, bleeding from a knife wound, is wrapped protectively around your ribs. Bruised, at least, but maybe fractured or broken. 

You take Kaz in the same way he's currently taking you in. His hair is disheveled, out of his usual, which has your interest immediately. Between that and his eyes—darker than usual—you can tell he's in a bad mood. Worrying. Bad news for you, most likely.

"You're hurt." He states the obvious, eyes trailing down to where you’re dripping blood onto his floor.

"No shit, Kaz." Your voice is laced with pain; no use trying to hide what he already knows. 

"Fight?"

"I won."

"Who?"

You set her jaw and resolutely refuses to answer. To admit that an ex-employer of yours (the one ex-employer before Kaz, actually) had sent someone to kill you? It painted you as having baggage. And in the barrel, that wasn't a good thing.

You did win, though. That much is the truth. Even though her opponent was about ten times the size of you and surprised you in you own home. That was a fear tactic, and damn if it wasn't working. Maybe you’d ask if you could stay with Wylan and Jesper until you found somewhere new to live.

"You wouldn't happen to have bandages, would you?" You ask instead of answering. You know he does.

He sighs. "In the bathroom." 

Neither of them move. In theory, getting them sounded great to you. But in practice, you know it'd kill your ribs.

"Where?" Kaz asks finally, and you know he's not asking where it happened.

"Arm. Ribs."

He frowns even more than he already is, and you look away. You were hired because you’re meant to be good. Meant to be above this injury stuff.

You look back at him when you hear him moving closer. He offers his cane to you. Anywhere else, it'd be courtesy. Simple politeness. Anyone else, it'd be no big deal. But you’re here, and it's him.

"Just take it." He says lowly, before you can make any comment.

So you do, hand wrapping around the metal crow head you’ve seen him grip a thousand times. It's warmer than you would've expected, warmed from body heat despite the gloves he's always wearing.

Kaz turns, heading to his bathroom without another word. His limp is pronounced, but he doesn't falter. You tighten your grip on his cane and follow him, ignoring the stabs of pain shooting through your ribs.

Bruised, fractured, or broken. Saints, you hope it’s the first one.

He goes to the bathroom closest, hand on the door to take the weight off his bad leg, reaching out to grabs a roll of bandages. You offer his cane back when he turns around, having the counter to lean on instead.

Kaz takes it silently, inclining his head towards the counter without any words. Your gaze flickers between him and the counter, biting your cheek.

Sitting on the counter would take the pressure off your ribs, yes. But at the same time, getting onto the counter was a problem in itself. If your ribs were broken badly, you could jar one irreversibly.

"It's like you can't do anything." Kaz snaps, anger and violence written into his tone.

You have your own quick remark fast on your tongue, easy to spit out at him. You never get the chance.

Kaz grabs your waist—gloves, he has his gloves on, and the three goddamn layers—and lifts you onto the counter. Your breath is gone for two reasons within the second. One: it fucking hurt. Two: when did he get the ability to do that? You aren’t heavy, and Kaz isn't weak, but fuck.

He drops the bandages on the counter next to you and walks out of the bathroom.

For a second, you’re too stunned to do anything. Then survival instincts kick in, and you grab the bandages with your good arm to stop the bleeding on your left one. The cut wasn't deep, a superficial wound really, but it was a lucky knife slash. Serrated blades were truly the worst thing to go around Ketterdam. Every damn fool was using them these days. Zero skill and all luck.

Ears carefully attuned to Kaz's cane and uneven footsteps, you’re just tucking the end of the bandage in when he walks back in. You don’t look up at him, although you’re about equal height right now due to your position.

It's a familiar position. Sitting on the countertop, Kaz in front of you. You close your eyes for a second, trying to clear out that mental image. 

When you open your eyes again, he's stepped between your legs.

Saints. Just like the stupid party.

"Hold your shirt up."

Your mind goes blank. "What?"

"You need someone to check if your ribs are fractured or not." His expression shifts, just slightly. Annoyed, maybe? "Hold your shirt up."

Swallowing your pride, or dignity, or self-restraint, you tug your shirt up. Just enough to make him able to see your ribs, no higher. You assume he'll look at them, seeing as observing is what he does best. You assume wrong.

Carefully, he lays his gloved hands over your rib cage and feels over your ribs. One layer. One fucking layer.

Your head tilts back, hitting the wall, mouth parting. Because this hurts, a double edged knife in the heart. Between your ribs and arm, you’ve been through enough. But now he's touching you, one layer stopping it from being skin-to-skin contact.

The coolness of his leather gloves slides over your ribs as he gently presses in, trying to feel if anything is amiss. You have to bite your tongue to stop from crying out in pain, but it's not enough to disguise your gasp.

"Breathe in." He orders. "Deeply."

You do so, slow and steady, closing your eyes against the pain. Without prompting you breathe out, which is considerably easier than breathing in. His thumb presses down, and yoj reflexively grab his wrist when it sends white-hot agony through you.

Kaz raises his eyebrows.

"Sorry." You breathe out.

One layer.

You drop your hand from his wrist.

"Talk." A command from your boss, or whatever he is to you right now.

You wracks her brain, only coming up with one thing. "Seven. I was seven—"

"Not a secret." He grinds out. "Something mundane."

It was a secret, but one you were offering willingly. Swallowing back pointless hurt (hadn't you gotten hurt at the same thing at that party?) you switch topics.

"I like dogs. The- ow- the smaller ones. Or the soft ones. They're cute, even as strays." 

Kaz presses down, harder than before, just on a certain spot on your ribs. The 8th one on the right side. You gasp, hand closing around his wrist again.

"Fractured." He says cooly, not pulling away.

Not pulling away.

"Hairline?" You ask hopefully.

Kaz, thank the saints, nods. He drops his hand but doesn't step back. In response, you drop your shirt back down.

You've been in this position before. Granted, you were drunk and not injured the last time, but your mind is drawing parallels.

"Who was it?" Kaz asks again, and you’re finally able to place the look in his eyes.

Murderous. 

If you hadn't killed the man herself, you’d be afraid for his safety. Maybe him dying to you was a blessing compared to whatever death he would've suffered at Kaz's hands.

"Who was it?" He repeats.

"Don't worry about it. I took care of it. I can handle myself just fine, Brekker."

He doesn't rise to the bait. "I know you can. And I still need a name." Pause. "Names?"

"I can handle my own fucking problems."

Kaz's gaze pointedly doesn't waiver. "What problems? I'm not above getting you drunk again. You seemed plenty happy to spill your secrets then."

Low blow. "Technically you didn't get me drunk. I got myself drunk."

"Technicalities. You're staying here tonight."

"Kaz!"

"Someone's after you, and you won't tell me who. You're an asset the Crow Club needs, and I protect my assets. Clear?"

He's Kerch. Ketterdam for most of his life, at the very least. You aren’t quite the same, having grown up in Ravka first then moved here. But you’re smart enough to know that Kerch use terms of endearment interchangeably with material goods.

And you know Kaz well enough to know that him calling you an asset isn't something small.

"Fine." You breathe, hoping he'll know that you accepting isn't something small either.

It's how the barrel works; in trades. It's how you two work.

"I'll find out who eventually." Kaz threatens—no, promises. "Wylan has the merch council after him. Inej the menagerie. Jesper the entirety of Ketterdam's gambling rings. I don't care who's after you."

"You will." 

Kaz reaches up, wrapping his fingers delicately around your chin. You’ve seen these same hands strangle a man before, yet they're nothing but soft here.

And he pulls your face to his, kissing you.

"Do not tell me what I will and won't care about."

Just as quickly as the kiss happens, it's over. Kaz takes a few steps back, until his back hits the wall. If you hadn't known him, you would've assumed it took no effort for him to do that. But you can see his hands flexing on his cane, and knows about his touch aversion.

No layers.

It takes you too many silent moments to place the look in his eyes. One that's unfamiliar to you, and unfamiliar to him. Vulnerability.

Not synonymous with weakness, because Kaz Brekker isn't weak. Even on his knees, he could be never be weak to you.

"Pekka Rollins." You breathe, offering your own vulnerability.

You know you won't get another kiss out of it, no matter how badly you want it. But you offer it anyways.

His eyes sharpen.

Your shared enemy.

"Better the enemy you know." He murmurs. "He sent someone after you."

"Repeatedly."

Kaz nods. "Then," he says slowly, meticulously, "we take him down."

He reaches a hand out, palm up, offering to help you off the counter. You take it, skin sliding against the leather, wincing as you slide off. 

"Take it easy. You're no use if your ribs become broken."

Well. If you squint, it's kind of sweet.

You stay up together, maps of Ketterdam spread out among various other papers in front of him. You in a chair next to his desk, him standing ominously over it. 

And when you start to fall asleep, ignoring the pain in your ribs, he does you the favor of not waking you up. Instead, he switches to his own seat, silently working on saints-knows-what.

The next time your eyes open, there's a blanket over you and a missing Kaz.

-

Affection from Kaz comes in the form of subtly, the things that have been there all along. The minor details you ignored, too doubtful you’d read it wrong.

Him leaning over you while reviewing a plan, for instance. Rather than wedge himself between you and Jesper—you’d both move for him, of course—he leans over you to tap a certain number. The barest of brushes, his arm against your shoulder, then nothing.

Or, more obvious, him offering out his cane to you to help you stand. It's just slightly alleviating on your ribs, which you do have wrapped carefully to prevent them from becoming worse. They're nearly healed, actually, the last of the bruises vanishing. 

But he still offers out his cane, and you still take it. Every time.

[lilisouless]

Nina : Is not fair, why can’t i be called a “milf” with all the privileges and none of the downsides?

Matthias: you mean the kids?

Nina: exactly! Why do i must have those? Isn’t enough me having the allure of a mature woman who looks good in soccer mom outfits?

Matthias: you are seventeen and you don’t like to wear pants

Nina: it’s about the allure! Please, be serious

——

Nina: problem solved! I am a certified milf

Kaz carrying a baby : Inej told me about Nina’s problem and i decided to help, this one was easy to steal

Matthias: WHAT?!

Kaz: just kidding, this is Wylan’s half sister, i am babysitting

Matthias: don’t scare me like tha-

Kaz pulling out a piece of paper: you guys just adopted me. Your signature is so easy to forge

[foolishpensandidioticink]

Wesper Headcannons

Jesper

Jesper stares at Wylan a lot, especially when he realizes it makes Wylan all flustered.

"Stop it." "Stop what, love?" "Staring at me." "Why? Am I making you nervous? Is my pretty boy getting all nervous?" "JESPER"

Jesper calls Wylan his sugar daddy and Wylan can never tell if it's a kink or a joke.

Before Jesper asks Wylan for cash when he wants something stupid, he kisses him silly to up the odds of him saying yes.

"Jesper." "Wylan?" "Are you trying to make out with me because you want money." "My love, how could you accuse me of such a thing??" "I saw you staring at those sparkly green trousers earlier." "......but Wylan they'd look so good on me"

He treats Wylan like a teddy bear when they cuddle. He wraps his entire long self around him and is half on top of him at all times.

Jesper hates it when Wylan gets upset with him. "My bitch is mad at me. I hope I die"

Praises Wylan a lot because he knows Wylan needs to hear it, he also loves how blushy Wylan gets.

Wylan

Wylan loves to mock Jesper's outfits. He literally ALWAYS has something mean to say about a fit (He actually loves the fact that Jesper is brave enough to dress so boldly). Roasts an outfit and immediately kisses Jesper very very hard.

"Are you serious?" "Not usually, but why do you ask?" "Why are you wearing red and green together?? You look like a Christmas tree🙄.....come here."

Listens to Jesper's rants about his hyperfixations with genuine interest and respect.

Wylan leaves explosives lying around all the time and Jesper has his guns out all the time. Kaz has to yell at both of them like a mother telling her teenagers to clean their goddamn rooms.

"So help me, if the two of you can't stop creating fire hazards wherever you go I WILL revoke your firepower privileges." "You wouldn't dare!" "MONSTER"

Wylan calls Jesper Llewellyn whenever he's mad at him.

*Inej and Jesper standing outside Wylan's locked door* "How mad do you think he is?" *Wylan from underneath his covers* "Go away, Llewellyn." "Oh shit I'm so screwed"

Wylan lets Jesper watch him manufacture explosives, although Jesper entices him from his work more often than not.

Does a lot of little things for Jesper, like making him coffee exactly the way he likes it, running baths for him, waiting up for him whenever he's out late commiting crimes shenanigans, ironing his outrageous outfits. It makes Jesper melt.

"Hey did you polish my guns?" "Yea I figured you'd like it" "Wylan, will you marry me"

I love these guys very very much

[mod-kyoko]

Can I get a fluff prompt for Mikan and Maki (seperate) where she gets confessed to by her shy Classmate reader that she likes but was under the mistaken impression that he hated her when in reality he was absolutely smitten with her

mikan and maki getting confessed to by shy!male!reader!

info: male!reader, light mentions of bullying

type: hc format, non-despair au

a/n: love these girls so much

⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡

mikan tsumiki

what a clusterfuck

you are both extremely shy

and you both like each other

you always hated how mikan was treated by the others, but you were never quite strong enough to defend her

she must think you're such a wimp! a terrible person! what kind of person doesn't defend a girl?

mikan, as usual, thinks you despise her which she thinks for most of her classmates

however, it hurts more because she genuinely wants to get closer to you, she's just too scared to approach you in fear that'll she will be rejected

...you felt the exact same

your other classmates are not stupid and notice the shy romantic tension between you

kazuichi actually approaches you and tells you to shoot your shot, even though you kept denying the fact you had a crush on mikan

don't worry kaz is here for you, he's such a bro

one afternoon, classes were over - you and kazuichi hung out in the school courtyard

you both see mikan tottering to the dorm buildings and kazuichi immediately (gently) shoves you towards her despite your protests

"u-uhm... can I help you, y/n..?" mikan was standing right in front of you, when you looked behind you, kazuichi was gone

fuck it

"uhm... hi, mikan... uh..." you had no idea where to even start... so you just blurted it out "I-I really like you! I... I've liked you for awhile..."

she thought you were joking, she even looked around cautiously to see if there was hiyoko or someone near by filming her

regardless she was blushing bright red

"m-me...? but I'm just a klutzy, pile of trashy waste... how c-could you like me..?"

you started to tear up from her words, how could she say that?!

"not at a-all! don't think that way, mikan... you're s-so helpful! even when p-people are mean to you... you always help them... and... you're so beautiful, I-I always feel better on the inside when you're near me... don't think y-you're trash! because you're not..."

mikan immediately starts bawling her eyes out at your kind words

she admits her own feelings for you in a very 'mikan' sort of way

tearfully, you ask her if they could go for ice cream which she agrees with a happy giggle

you two start dating not long after... your fellow classmates (except some obvious ones) think you're the cutest couple ever

maki harukawa

why did she have to fall for you... of all people, she falls for the complete opposite of what she is

you were a shy, sweet guy that wouldn't harm a fly even if he tried

and she was a cold, calculating and violent individual, not exactly a match made in heaven

you weren't an idiot like the others and you never actually did anything to bother her, although you were shy she found you easy to talk to

but that's probably because you're busy listening to her voice half the time...

however, she hasn't confessed her feelings at all because first of all, she's not really good at 'expressing' feelings...

second of all, she didn't even fathom that you liked her at all

yes you let her talk to you but she imagined that you were scared of her and just did it because you felt that you had to

a lot of the other classmates didn't like her because of how she is, why should you?

truth be told, you were absolutely in love with her

she is incredibly pretty, even when her expression is either blank or full of murderous intent

you can't help but find her coldness... attractive? there was just something about it that made you feel a funny way when she calmly insults kokichi for the 999th time or threatens to kill others that annoy her

is that a simp I hear?

you approached shuichi and kaito one day during lunch, since they were maki's closest friends, to get some advice on how to... approach the girl

of course they were both a little worried for you, shuichi especially

but kaito gave you the best advice he could, something about 'puff your chest out!' and 'be confident in the face of the bear!', not great stuff

either way you took his advice as best you can, catching maki when she was alone

"uhm... maki..?" you tapped your index fingers together

"y/n?" maki looked a little surprised that you were talking to her first "what is it?"

"ah.. uhm... I... I really like you... in a romantic sense- I understand if you... you don't like me that way too..."

maki's eyes widened, staring at you completely dumbfounded, then shaking her head

"you're stupid... you like me? do you want to die?" "why the hell do you even like me? you barely know me."

"y-yes! I know b-but.. I like that about you.. I-I like the mystery you have... and... you're really pretty.. your voice is really calming... I like listening to you..."

little makiroll began to blush, starting to fidget with her twintails. was she dreaming?

"you're just plain stupid..." she sighed, her eyes glued to the ground. "but... I like you too."

you and maki sat on the bench together for awhile, just talking casually. you even made her smile

it started slowly, but you and her got together as a couple. if you had any bullies for your shyness... they're not a problem anymore

⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡

-Mod Kirumi

actually crying rn

[thoselethalarts]

𝓚𝓪𝔃𝓾𝓸 𝓖𝓾𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓻𝓸 - 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂

(R) Gym Uniform: “I’m So Stupid…!”

(NRC: Sports Field)

Vargas: Alright, boys! I think that’s good enough for today. Vargas: I can tell you’re improving more than just your times. Hit the showers, and keep up the good work next week!

Phobos: Finally… Thought today would never end. (Yawn…)

Jack: You hardly did anything and you’re yawning.

Phobos: I did enough. I don’t need to be running around for a whole hour to improve my time. Phobos: I’m takin’ off and takin’ a nap. Later.

(Phobos grabs his bag and departs from the group)

Jack: Abrasive as always… He really doesn’t change. Jack: Hm…? Isn’t that Kazuo out there at the edge of the field?

Deuce: Huh? Oh, you’re right, that does look like him. Deuce: That’s weird, he didn’t show up to club, but he’s still out here practicing? Wonder if something happened.

Jack: Beats me. Maybe he was feeling sick or something and only just now made it out.

Deuce: I know I’d feel embarrassed if I could only show up to the tail end of club… I don’t really blame him. Deuce: Maybe we should go check up on him, just to make sure he’s feeling okay.

Jack: It’s not a bad idea to make sure our upperclassmen are doing alright. Lemmie grab my bag and then we can head over.

(Jack and Deuce pause to pick up their gym bags and then walk across the field to meet with Kazuo at the furthest edge)

Kazuo: 27… 28… 29… 30! Kazuo: Whew…! Alright, time for a break~

Deuce: Hey Kaz!

Kazuo: Hm? Oh hey, Jack and Deuce! What’re you troublemakers up to?

Deuce: We just saw you out here from across the field, wondering what you were up to was all. Deuce: Are you feeling okay? You look like you’re out of breath.

Kazuo: Oh, haha! Yeah, I’m alright. I’m just out of breath ‘cuz I’m between reps. Kazuo: Today’s my upper body day! So I was using this tree’s low-hanging branch to do some pull-ups. It’s surprisingly really sturdy. Kazuo: You guys wanna join me? I was gonna do another set of pull-ups and then some push-ups after.

Jack: Hm… I’ve still got some energy left in me. Why not?

Deuce: I’ll join, too! I wouldn’t mind seeing just how far I can push myself to my limits.

Kazuo: Sweet! There’s another couple trees over here with some low-hanging branches you guys can use too! Let’s go!

(Some time passes, and the trio pause their training to take another break. The afternoon sun slowly starts to pass into sunset upon the field.)

Jack: So… you said you like to come out here to train? What goal are you training for?

Kazuo: Oh, nothing specific. I just want to stay in good shape for my job is all.

Deuce: Oh! I didn’t know you had a job, Kaz! What do you do?

Kazuo: Eheh, well… it’ll probably sound kind of made up considering our environment, but… I’m a Ghostbuster!

Deuce: A Ghostbuster…? You mean, like the movie?

Kazuo: Yeah! Exactly like the movie! I know it probably sounds fake, but it’s true! Kazuo: People call me out to the scene when they’re experiencing paranormal activity, and then I hunt down and exorcise the ghost or ghosts causing it.

Deuce: That’s really cool, actually! Why would that be weird?

Kazuo: Eh, well, I mean I haven’t been doing a lot of my job here because all the ghosts at the school are friendly… most of them even employed here.

Jack: That’s true. You’d get in serious trouble if you tried exorcising one of the staff ghosts on campus. Jack: There’s plenty of ghosts that are hostile and dangerous elsewhere, but here on campus pretty much all of them are friendly.

Kazuo: Yeah, exactly. Truth be told, I’m not used to being around so many friendly spirits. Kazuo: Most of the time when I get called out to investigate a haunting, the spirit’s either hostile or just clinging too hard to reality. Kazuo: Either way, they can’t stay in the realm of the living. It’s my job to catch them and send them back to where they belong. Kazuo: I call myself a “Ghostbuster” on paper ‘cuz it sounds more friendly, but really I’m more like a Grim Reaper in practice. Any spirit trapped in reality is a target for me, even if it’s freshly departed.

Deuce: So, what do you need to do all this training for? I wouldn’t think a job like that would be very physically taxing.

Kazuo: Haha! You might not think so, but honestly it’s a lot more draining than it sounds. Kazuo: Depending on the spirit, they can be either really easy to placate or extremely dangerous. I won’t know which it is until I’m on the scene, either. Kazuo: In practice, fighting a spirit isn’t any different than fighting a normal, living human. The only difference is that humans can’t use magic to fight back and evade your attacks. Kazuo: You know my friends Marcus and Matt, right? They’re kind of in the same business as me, they just hunt things other than ghosts. Kazuo: Since we’re all in the same boat together, I’ve been trying to get them to do training with me. But…

(Kaz recaps a flashback to a point in the past)

Marcus: Haah… Hahh… Alright, time out. Time out, time out. I need… I need a break.

Kazuo: What, already?! C’mon, bro, we just got started!

Marcus: I dunno how you keep doing this every day, Kaz. You have way too much energy.

Kazuo: Hey, I don’t do this every day, just every other day! On the days I don’t have track and field, I’m out here training! Kazuo: And how do I have too much energy?! This is easy mode!

Marcus: “Easy mode”, yeah speak for yourself on that one. I’m not a sports guy like you are, this is more than enough for me. I need to catch my breath…

Kazuo: Aren’t we in the same business? How do you even manage to do your job when you can barely do this much?

Marcus: Honestly, I usually I have adrenaline to keep me going. Marcus: Also, I’m not usually doing sit-ups, push-ups, and burpees when I’m running around like my life depends on it…!

Kazuo: You’d probably have to rely less on adrenaline if you trained like I did. C’mon, it’ll get easier when you do it more often! Kazuo: How you doin’ with it, Matt?

Matt: Ah, you don’t gotta worry ‘bout me none, I’m jus’ peachy~

Marcus: You don’t have any right to talk, you don’t have “normal” stamina to begin with.

Kazuo: Well, how ya feeling now? We still got another set of squats and burpees to do!

Marcus: I think I’m gonna throw up.

Matt: He’s exagguratin’.

Marcus: I’m gonna throw up on you specifically. Ugh…

(The flashback ends)

Deuce: Haha! I’m not surprised to hear that Marcus isn’t the most athletic of people. He certainly doesn’t look it.

Kazuo: And yet his job isn’t any different than mine! Can you believe that?! Kazuo: That guy’s gonna have a heart attack before he turns 30 if he keeps pushing himself like he does. Kazuo: I’ve been trying to get him to train with me so we can all stay fit together, but usually he says no and it’s just me on my own out here. I’m glad you guys could join me today, it’s nice to have some company every once in a while.

Jack: Hey… don’t mind me for asking, but you said that days that you don’t have Track and Field you’re usually out here doing supplementary training, right? Jack: Why’d you miss our club meeting today, then?

Kazuo: …Wait, what?

Deuce: Come to think of it, I feel like you’ve been missing a lot of club meetings lately. Whenever Vargas does roll call, I feel like I rarely hear you answer your name.

Kazuo: W-Wait, did I get my meeting days mixed up…?! I thought it was every Monday and Wednesday we had club!

Jack: Nope. Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Kazuo: Damniiiiiiitttt…!! This whole time I thought I was just showing up early or club meetings got called off! Kazuo: God, I’m so stupid…! I’ve been doing all this training on my own for nothing!

Deuce: H-Hey, don’t take it too hard! It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve forgotten about something important and either showed up late or completely skipped on accident, either.

Kazuo: Yeah, but I hate that I’ve been tanking my attendance without even realizing…! That’s not gonna look good on my overall club standing…

Jack: Try not to beat yourself up too much about it. You’ve still been working hard, even if you haven’t got the marks to show it. Jack: Tell Vargas you’ve been doing solo training in your free time, and I’m sure he’ll forgive your absence. I’ll back you up on that, too.

Kazuo: Really…? You think so?

Deuce: Sure he will! I’ll be a witness for you, too, just to be sure.

Kazuo: Man… I’m still mad at myself for getting my dates mixed up like that, but I appreciate the help, guys.

Jack: Sure thing. Now you know, at least, so you can straighten up from here on out. Jack: We’re in the same dorm, so I can remind you before club starts to get ready if you need it.

Kazuo: Yeah, that’d be great. It’ll take me a minute to readjust my schedule for sure, I don’t wanna go on autopilot and forget again, after all. Kazuo: Speaking of time, it is getting pretty late now, huh? How ‘bout we stop by the Mystery Shop on the way back to the dorms and grab some snacks? Kazuo: It’ll be my treat, as thanks for helpin’ me figure this shitty situation out!

/ End

[howthesleeplesswander]

surprise starter for @greedbent because Baizhu saw my other muses bothering his "secret" crush and refused to be left out 😤

"I have a prediction. Would you like to hear it?" Changsheng's voice floated into the front room of the pharmacy from somewhere up in the rafters. She hadn't shown herself once since he'd begun work that morning; Baizhu had assumed she'd been with Qiqi or Gui.

"Well, don't leave me in suspense," the doctor replied airily. Faced with a break in patients for the afternoon, Baizhu had begun filling prescriptions. Even while conversing, practiced hands moved of their own accord: one adding leaves and petals from the trays of mint and qingxin beside him to a large medicinal cauldron, while the other worked the milky substance within beneath a starsilver pestle.

Naturally though, Changsheng did exactly that. He'd nearly forgotten she'd said anything by the time she divulged her 'prediction.' "Sssomething tellsss me that today isss about to get interesssting."

Baizhu hummed, attention fixed on his work. "Oh? What makes you say that?"

Her answering snicker came from directly above him. He paused as Changsheng dropped onto his shoulders so he wouldn't spill anything. "You'll sssee sssoon enough," was all she said as she adjusted her coils, and the doctor shook his head fondly. With her affinity for the vague and riddled, sometimes Baizhu wondered if his companion wasn't some long-lost adeptus in disguise.

Minutes passed with only the scrape of the pestle along the cauldron's base to fill the silence. Then footsteps sounded on the stairs leading up to the pharmacy—but there was something...unique about them. Not just a rhythmic tap-tap of shoes on pavement, but with an additional tone layered in unison. Metal on stone. Tap-tapclink.

That could only mean...

Ah. Well, in all fairness, Changsheng was rarely wrong about these things.

Baizhu didn't look up until the steps arrived in the entryway. To anyone else, the sight of a man clad in all black, gazing into their shop with such intent, sharp eyes may be cause for alarm. But Baizhu simply smiled, hands pausing to give his newfound visitor his undivided attention.

"Why, Kaz, what a pleasant surprise. How nice to see you." Likely not a sentiment heard often, but it was entirely sincere. He pointedly ignored Changsheng's muttered 'I told you' that tickled his ear. "Is there something I can do for you? Oh—unless you're here for your 'prescription'?"

The code word was second-nature despite there being no one else in the pharmacy to overhear. With a grin so pleasant adorning his features, the doctor certainly appeared to be speaking of a legitimately prescribed medication, rather than the special-ordered poison that currently sat fermenting on his kitchen counter. "It's nearly finished, but I'm afraid it needs another hour or so to infuse for maximum...potency." There was a dark edge to the chuckle that rolled in his chest. "We must be sure it's strong enough to take care of the problem, mustn't we?"

[cupidstwin333]

Heyy, can a request a matchup for BNHA or OHSHC? Any fandom is good tho, just not black butler or obey me cuz I know nothing about them.

My name is Kasper but you can call me Kaz or kasey ( He/They) if you’d like. I’m 19 and a guy, I’m also gay mlm. I’m just going to give you a list so it will be easier to read.

I’m tall, I have a buzz cut thats bleached blonde, I’m have honey brown eyes, I shaved my eye brows completely off, I have an anti eyebrow piercing and snake bites, I’m pretty lanky too but I’m trying to build up muscle, I’m black and Italian, I have a lot of scars from a lot of things, and my aesthetic are Punk/Emo/Y2K. (Also I’m trying to grow out my beard a little bit, but not too much at all)

I’m an INTP, I’m an Aquarius, I’m protective and explorative and I can be an asshole sometimes.

Likes: I like politics (Punk, leftist, feminist, Activist, etc. not any alt right politics), volleyball, working out, metal, death metal, nu metal, rap, cars, Nascar, Rioting, protesting, skateboarding, exploring abandoned places, exploring in general, gaming, horror, and scary things.

Dislikes: Posers, people on the alt right, boring things, dsmp, people who strictly follow the rules, cold water, thunder, school, that’s about it.

Extra: Rn I’m a bouncer for a club but I’m working up to start bartending. I really want to keep working for clubs, bars, and casinos. Also I have NPD and Depression. I’m also a pot head and a partygoer ig.

Romantic or platonic, either is fine. thats it I think, thanks

After a long time of thinking 💭 your match is...

Ritsu Kasanoda

Background:

You worked at a private club in Tokyo as a bouncer, you were competent at your job and you enjoyed it. It was a normal evening and you were standing at the entrance until your supervisor told you to get inside and guard the V.I.P section. “We have a few special guests coming and I need you to make sure nothing happens to them.” You nodded and stepped inside. The V.I.P section was still empty, so you had some time. You headed to the bar and talked with the bartender. You two were close. One time after your shifts ended he heard you wanted to start working behind the bar. He taught you how everything worked and how to make a few drinks. However, you accidentally knocked over a bottle of whiskey and your supervisor got so mad and started yelling. The two of you tried not to laugh at how ridiculous his face looked. I mean there was no need for him to get that mad over a bottle of whiskey.

“Kaz! Hurry up!” your supervisor called out. With an uninterested face, you turned to see your supervisor. You sighed and walked over to the V.I.P section. “Good luck, Kasey.” The bartender said as he made another drink. Once you got there your supervisor started nagging again and you fought the urge to roll your eyes at him. He was annoying but that was all he was. He wasn't scary or intimidating he had all this talk but couldn't back it up. You looked inside and saw what looked like a Yakuza meeting. You were curious to see who the leader was so your eyes wandered to whoever sat in the middle. To your surprise, it was a young guy who looked around your age. Your Supervisor entered the room and said "This is Kaz and he will be here to cater to all your needs." He glanced at you and gave you a sweet smile. You knew exactly what he was doing. "I am not a waiter, ask someone else to do it," you replied with an annoyed look. Your supervisor came closer and whispered something in your ear "if you do this, you get a bonus immediately after your shift, they are willing to pay a lot." You needed the money tho, so you sighed and said "if there is anything let me know." You stepped outside to guard it. Until the red-haired "leader" spoke up "you have worked here for quite a while, right?" His voice was deep and raspy, it was attractive. You tried to ignore your previous thought as nodded and waited for him to continue, while you analyzed his features. He showed you a picture "Have you ever seen him during one of your shifts?" He asks and you shrug "Not that I recall" you stated. He hands you a piece of paper "Here is my number, call me as soon as you see him, he will come to this club." You accept the piece of paper and return to guarding the V.I.P section.

How it started:

Despite your vastly different backgrounds and lifestyles, you and Kasanoda found yourselves drawn to each other. You two would spend hours talking about your passions and beliefs, even if you two didn't always agree on everything. You loved how Kasanoda was willing to stand up for what he believed in, even if it meant going against the law or defying societal norms. And Kasanoda was fascinated by your strong convictions and commitment to activism.

Despite your busy schedules and dangerous circumstances, you and Kasanoda began dating in secret. You would steal moments together whenever the two of you could, sneaking off to abandoned buildings or dark alleyways for a stolen kiss or embrace.

Your love for exploring and your affinity for scary things proved to be a perfect match for Kasanoda's adventurous spirit. You two would often spend your free time exploring Tokyo's abandoned places, seeking out the creepiest and most chilling locations.

General headcanons:

💘Kasanoda loves to cuddle up with you on the couch and watch movies, resulting in you two falling asleep in each other's arms.

💘Kasanoda loves to dance together, often slow dancing with you in your living room to your favorite songs.

💘The two of you often cook together, trying out new recipes and experimenting with different flavors and ingredients.

💘You guys always support each other's dreams and goals, encouraging each other to reach for the stars.

I'd appreciate it if you'd reblog this, and I hope you enjoyed reading this <3

[shaineybainey]

Random Lab Rats family headcanon:

* mostly includes Leo *

* will add more as I think of them *

* tw: some mental health discussion *

* will add Oliver, Kaz, and Skylar here later *

• whenever Bree would get up to try to get something, and she says, "I'll be quick," Leo would always reply with "Not too quick." He used to say it when they're around people who aren't family members, but then he kept the tradition even when the world already knows about her abilities.

It annoyed her to no end in the beginning, but as they get older, it becomes their inside joke.

• Adam once sold his car to a guy at the park in exchange of the St. Bernard puppies he was selling. Donald and Tasha, of course, were mortified and had to go out to bargain with the park guy to get the car back.

Meanwhile, Adam had Bree, Chase, and Leo help him bathe the puppies. He named them that night: Twinky, Snoball, Donut, Zinger, and Cupcake.

Chase frowned as Adam gave him Zinger to dry off. "You named them after Hostess cakes?"

"Yeah?"

"Why?" Bree asked, chuckling.

Adam shrugged. "'Cause I'm hungry."

• Sadly, Adam couldn't keep the puppies, even after telling his parents that he got them to give to his younger siblings. He was extremely down about it, so Tasha talked Donald into letting Adam help them find good homes for the pups.

To Tasha's surprise, her mom and dad decided to adopt one, namely, Cupcake. This made Adam happy, knowing that he can play with and walk Cupcake whenever they visit the Dooleys.

• while the three of them were hanging out, chatting and drinking one night, Tasha happened to mention a coworker who's going through a divorce. "If you guys ever divorce, who's getting the kids?" Douglas asked Tasha and Donald.

The two only stared at him.

"I mean, hypothetically," Douglas insisted.

No one says anything for a while, but when it was obvious Douglas was truly curious and wouldn't drop it, Donald replied with, "I don't know. Adam's almost 19, and Bree's turning 18 next month. We don't have to contest for the two of them. Chase will probably end up with me, and Leo will be with Tasha."

"Why are we even talking about this?" Tasha asked. "Donald and I have no plans of divorcing. At all."

"What happens to me?" Douglas asked Donald.

Donald shot him a baffled look. "Me. You're staying with me," he said. That should have been obvious. "You're my brother."

"Oh." Douglas sat on that information as he picked up some fries. Before washing it down with beer, he muttered, "That's sad."

Donald frowned at him.

"Can I still visit Leo?" Douglas asked Tasha with all seriousness.

Tasha blinked. "Sure?" She laughed, finding this all amusing. "Douglas. Your brother and I aren't divorced. We're not planning to. We're all staying together."

"So I can keep the kids."

"No, Donald and I keep the kids. You get to watch over them and make sure they're happy and safe."

"Like a third parent."

"Exactly."

"But I don't see why we can't just divide the kids. There's three of us, and there's four of them. There's enough for all of us!"

"Yeah, and what do you propose we do, Douglas? Divide one of the kids in three?" Donald asks. "How does that even make sense?"

"Look, we don't have to." He takes another swig of beer. "I can just take one. One of you can have two. Now, I know Chase is your favorite, so you can have him."

"Okay?"

"Now, I know Leo's yours and all," he tells Tasha, "but can't you just take Adam and Bree? Like, that's two, right? That's better than one. And Adam loves having you as a mom. Bree also likes having a mom. It's a win-win."

"Douglas, I'm not giving you my son," Tasha said.

"Why not?"

"I gave birth to him!"

Douglas frowns, sinking into his chair with defeat. "I don't see how that's fair," he muttered. "Just because men can't have babies..."

It dawned on Donald then that Douglas was on his third bottle. He was far from being absolutely slapped, but his questions and lines of thought should've been indicative of how buzzed he already was.

He sighed. "Look, you can take care of Leo..."

"I can?"

"Yes," Donald said as he carefully took the beer bottle away from him, "because you're his uncle. It'd be great if you show the same favoritism towards the other kids, though."

"Well, if all of them are my favorites, then I don't have any favorites."

True. It kinda annoyed Donald that his brother made sense and didn't at the same time. "Why don't we just stop here and get a ride home?" he offered amiably. He took out his phone and said, "It's too late to call the driver, so let's just take an Uber."

There was a pause. Then, "Honey."

"Yeah?"

"We're home." A grin was growing on Tasha's face. "We've never left the house."

Confused, Donald looked around him.

Behind him was the pool, the house. On top of their table, in the midst of all the food and snacks, was the vintage bottle of wine he said he'd been wanting to try.

It was almost empty.

Realizing what his older brother had realized, Douglas chuckled. "Chase is gonna have a rooooooough year," he said.

The grin on Tasha's face vanished when she rolled her eyes. "Again, Douglas: we're not divorced."

• Later on, in his mid-20s, Chase discovers that he has developed panic disorder due to his commando app (the activation of it on and off throughout the years has created a chemical imbalance in his brain). The first person he came to for help after the initial attacks? Tasha. She's the only one he trusts. He feels Donald would keep dismissing it like he did the first two times, and Douglas would try to solve it (which isn't really what he needs). Meanwhile, he feels Adam, Bree, and the EF team would just make fun of him.

Tasha helps Chase find the right therapist for him, which they do. Leo also becomes one of the first support systems for Chase since he, too, went through anxiety and depression when he was younger.

Chase finds comfort in them when days are tough, which brings them all closer together. (This leads to Chase's first slip of calling Tasha "mom." He apologized, but Tasha tells him she's okay with whatever he's comfortable with. So, soon enough, he just starts calling her Mom.)

[hisaribi]

So, I got that thing about "the character you last wrote about got into the game you last played", and I had Kaz Breaker and lethal company, so here's a weird fix with some Lore™ things from both parts thrown together.

Jesper didn't mean to stare, but he did. The guy sitting in front of him was weird, compared to others employees on the near desks, who interviewed recruits to the Company. He didn't smile like an idiot with this polite customer service bull. The nametag read Kaz Breaker, window 57. Exactly the window Jesper was supposed to go for.

Actually, no, the Kaz guy not smiling made him less weird or erie, that others. He was also somewhat hot, despite a couple of scars he had on his face. Totally not fit for a desk job.

Jesper sat in front of the glass and put his application documents into a sliding shelf, that Kaz then moved towards himself. He glasses over it and put some information to the terminal next to him.

"Hello", Jesper decided to be polite, even though he understood, it was too late, but he spent way too many time staring at Kaz, because ok, the guy was just his type.

Kaz didn't even nod and kept typing something, fingers in black gloves. He wore standard for office workers blue suit, that seemed a bit loose on him.

"Reason for applying?"

Jesper really hated this question, because what was he supposed to say? The truth of how he screwed up so bad, that he gambled his father's farm on Mars and now desperately needed money, and that the Company was to pay greatly? It doesn't seem that it would land him a job.

"I'm interested in getting this position because I really agree with the Company's mottos and ideals. That sounds like a great place to have as a starter work," oh saints please let this be ok!

Kaz typed what Jesper said — probay, he didn't see the screen. But then he looked at Jesper.

"And not because you had a gambling problem and you really need money?" His voice was deadpan, but it felt like he just punched Jesper straight into guts.

"You have this information on your computer, right?" Jesper sighed, and Kaz smiled a bit, just enough to show somewhat long fangs, though maybe that was just a weird light.

"We do. Company does pay greatly though, that's why you got the ad for working here."

Ah, right. Jesper sighed.

"Well, if I get a desk job, like you do, I won't have to worry about it!"

Kaz paused, but didn't stop typing, just stared at Jesper.

"You did read the job description aside from the salary, right?"

Jesper didn't.

"Of course!"

Kaz raised his eyebrow. He didn't buy it.

"I'm legally obliged to explain it to you anyway. You're going to be sorted into a group of four. You and your crewmates will be sent to the abandoned moons in the system, where you are to collect scrap. That can be anything from magnifying glass to V-type engine. Every three days you will need to meet a certain quota, so you send all that scrap to the company building on 71-Gordion, sell it and get some money to buy equipment. You'll get paid after your seasonal contract expires, the currency you get during your work in the company isn't compatible with actual system currency. Also the ship you will be operating will only allow you to visit predefined moons, so there is no way that you can get off it before your seasonal contract expires."

Kaz said all of that in the very monotone voice, and Jesper felt even more weirded out.

"Um, and how do I apply for the desk job?"

"You only get this if you get through seasonal contract."

Shame.

"Are you or any of your blood related family members grishas?" Kaz asked instead.

"No," Jesper lied. People tend to not hire grishas, and he didn't want to risk it. And nobody would know that anyway.

Kaz either didn't catch up or ignored that.

"Just need to mention to you that the air on the moons is toxic, so it might be nearly impossible to use your abilities if you aren't used doing that in the uniform without direct contract to the element. I did put no as your answer, but just so you know, again, because I'm legally bound to say that."

"Maybe we should find some legal bound to meet after your shift end?" Jesper asked and then immediately regretted that. He really hoped he didn't screw his chance at getting the job. Kaz only merely glanced at him, but it wasn't angry or even curious.

"No romance between employees is allowed."

"And if I don't get hired? Like it pays a bunch and there's most likely a big fight for a place."

"Company hires everyone willing to work," Kaz shrugged. "So just by coming here you got the job."

"That... Doesn't sound suspicious at all."

"Doesn't it," Kaz repeated. "That's the last question I have to ask you, after explaining the details of your job and the issues you might face in case you're grisha. Do you still want to apply for this job?"

Jesper blinked. Actually, this whole place creeped him out, and only Kaz and other recruits felt somewhat alive, while everything else was just a bit off, in a way, that Jesper couldn't really explain.

But he really, really needed money.

"I do."

Kaz nodded, and then pressed a key. Printer behind him came to Jude with a loud screeching noise, so Kaz stood up, clearly relying on the cane, to get papers.

When he was back he put them together and back to the folder Jesper brought with him.

"Nice to see the Company accommodation for your, uh..."

"I broke my leg working here, didn't heal properly," Kaz said. "Met the quotas anyway." He signed some more papers and put them into Jesper's folder.

"Oh, did they pay for your injuries?"

"They did. I also got that job," Kaz finished putting all the papers back and pushed them in the sliding shelf. "Welcome to the Company, where we work for a greater good. Please, read all the papers you got before proceeding to the medical bay for your examination."

Kaz pressed another button and the robotic voice said that the next ticket was to come to that window.

"Well, we'll meet for a dinner after my contract is over!" Jesper smiled, but Kaz just stared at him.

The girl came towards the window, so Jesper had to leave quickly. He went to the hall and opened the folder. It had one sticky note on it.

"You're screwed by saints and their cursed mothers," a very messy handwriting said. "Things on moon will try to kill you, the Company will slowly erase your memory, and now you can't leave. Use 'dregs' on the ship terminal, and if you're lucky, we'll meet again, and I'll explain everything."

Well.

Fuck.

[bardofavon]

LMAO I promise I know the Darkling wouldn't go that far, it's more of a horrified reaction to all the creepy stuff he says. Some of the stuff from chapter 47 was genuinely haunting. Like Kaz loving him means he shouldn't have any life/goals/ideas that aren't the Darkling's, like the Darkling's existence should eat it all up. I swear if that man wasn't handsome the fandom would not be in this state. But back to your reply, does that mean a lot of people are under the impression that the Darkling's possessiveness is just about power (I mean, it is but yeah) and that Kaz is the only one with maybe-feelings? Because that would mean they were not sailing away nearly fast enough from the 'love you under the world dies' guy. and his tracker.

he is....deranged...but he looks so good doing it so idc. actually i don't know, when i write the darkling i morph into the meme of the cat that's like "it's not that he's evil, he lacks empathy and goes into a dissociative state and commits atrocities" i just crack my knuckles and see exactly how bad things can get and the answer is really bad! but it's a careful game because i have to toe the line of figuring out exactly how much he believes and means what he says, how far he can go while still sincerely believing it's actually love, etc. he's a mess.

but anyway, as for your question!!

yes!!! general opinion is kind of that it is more about power than anything else because (and no offense to Kaz here) most people are like ?? what would the Darkling see in him when he can have literally anyone he wants ?? Everyone has different observations and opinions on it of course and outwardly they do appear to be in some kind of genuine committed relationship so you can picture people hanging out gossiping like "so what's going on there actually" but if you had a group of people voting on who's the settler and who's the reacher most people looking at it from the outside would say that kaz is the reacher and the darkling is the settler even though this is....absolutely not the case.

it's always "wow what did kaz do to ingratiate himself with the darkling so strongly" and not "what lengths has the darkling gone to to try and pursue this random dude who hated him."

as for nikolai and the gang their thought process is more along the lines of "the darkling is probably very angry that we took his weapon away from him and will do whatever it takes to get him back because kaz is how he plans to control the world" and not "that's all true but also the darkling sees kaz as his eternal life partner and takes this as a deep personal betrayal because this man refuses to have one more thing he loves stolen from him"

inej and jesper on the other hand don't exactly know what to think ?? they are more willing to take whatever the fuck is going on with kaz and the darkling with a grain of salt because kaz told them from the start that he planned to play the darkling romantically and use his affections to his benefit while slowly becoming powerful enough to destroy him but also that plan doesn't seem to be working out for him and kaz isn't pulling back and re-planning like he normally would in any other situation. he is not really acting very logically in their eyes so the possibility that he actually did get in too deep is there. but they do have the knowledge that the darkling pursued him first, so. there's that at least???

[black-rose-writings]

Watching Shadow and Bone Season 2: Episode 1 - I am losing braincells fast

Okay, I finally have time. Let's do this.

Firstly, sorry if I miss some visual details, I am watching it on a very legal site that unfortunately has something of a potato quality.

S1 Intros looked better.

Alina is looking around in her pretty little dream sequence like "My Saints, life is so emo right now."

Sasha, my beloved.

Wasting sickness my ass.

And there is Mal, assuring her that Sasha is dead.

Where did Alina get her new fancy dress, if they've been on a ship since the end of S1? And her hair grew a lot for it being just two weeks... sorry, nit picks, but like... her hair was not that long and it doesn't grow all that much in two weeks.

Oh, look, Ketterdam. Surely, Alina will not face any danger of being kidnapped and sold into slavery, despite there being a million kruge bounty on her head last season.

So, what exactly do they think they'll find in Kerch. At least when they were running in the books, they just wanted to get to the frontier to disappear there. But like, you two don't have shit to your name... ah, I'm barely like 2 minutes in and I'm already rambling.

Oh, look, Kaz arranged them fake passports... somehow. While they were all on a ship.

*stop thinking about the details, stop thinking about the details, or you'll drive yourself crazy*

So, when exactly did she decide to go after the Sea Whip? Why does she believe it's real? Fuck, I'm doing it again.

Ah, yes, let's talk about our plans and identities openly in public where anyone can hear us.

Also, love how this is 100% the opposite of book Mal. Kinda unironially. Book!Mal can go die in a ditch.

So, we're sticking to the stange season 1 plot of Alina being some kind of a clairvoyant, huh?

Or, wait, are they in Novyi Zem? I guess they are. Okay, nevermind my first few points, I am an idiot.

I know season 1 did weird time jumps, too, but this is going to be very jarring.

Oh, look, Inej still not scared one bit of Haleen.

And... that's what happens when you leave town for months on a whim. You dunce.

Oh, look, Kaz's backstory.

Not sure how I feel about this weird twist, but sure, let's see where this goes.

I'm sorry, who did they even kill? WTF is that?

I mean, I know Ketterdam kinda sucks, but that went down way too quickly.

And Kaz trying not to lose his shit because he's surrounded by people. Well, at least that's book accurate.

Love how the guy next to Jesper is staring at him like "bro, who you talking to".

Okay, what the fuck is happening.

Oh, look at that, we are not completely ignoring that Kaz and co. got hired to kidnap and sell Alina. Well, her side of the story will, but hey, at least it's not completely glossed over like the fucking maps.

Okay, excuse, what the actual fuck is this? What in the name of hell is Nikolai doing. I am confused and not in a good way. I feel like we're missing... a lot of context. Like, a lot.

Okay, so let me get this straight... the way that they get around the "Crows planned to sell Alina into slavery" plot line is... by retconning it so that Nikolai was behind it all along. For some Saints-forsaken reason. Well, Alina is still dumb as bricks, but okay I guess.

Fjerda made ship-art. Of Darklina. For their bounty poster. (Or is this part of the whole retarded "Aleksander is working with the Fjerdans for some reason" plotline.

My question is where they got the visual reference from since everyone except for Crows and Alina-and-co. got murdered.

Kaz, mentally: Jesper, you idiot.

Wow, look at that. Room like for a queen. Wonder where they got the money from. Definitelly an upgrade from the bed-bug infested group room of the book.

At least take your fucking shoes off you barbarian!

Mal is down for travelling the world. Wow, they really pulled a full 180 on this bitch, huh?

Ew. Just ew.

Thank the Saints for cockblocking fishermen. I will vomit if they go any further.

Kaz, screaming internally: Shut the fuck up Jesper.

Oh, look, we still doing the whole "paying with jewelry got her tracked down" thing. Just, slightly less retarded.

Hold up, are we saying Jesper and Kaz are having the conversation now. Like, come on, they've worked with each other for a long time, there's no way this didn't come up before.

That is way more than 20 seconds, just saying.

Oh, look, another Alina dream sequence.

Okay, so is that like a Tether thing or is she just having prophetic dreams? If it's the Tether, how does Sasha already know what Mal is, they spoke like 2 times. If it's prophetic dreams... why though?

Language barrier? What language barrier?

Ravkan Grisha? Of all places? Is she talking about the pogroms that happened after the Fold expanded? Cause if I understand the timeline correctly, there's no way the news have spread that far, yet.

I mean, even in Novyi Zem, Grisha are not safe, in the books. There might not be society-wide prejudice, but there's also not any protection from, you know, slavers and shit (or at least not enough). Ravkan Grisha might be soldiers, but that's not exactly an uncommon profession in this world.

(calm down. You can rant later)

Please tell me this interaction isn't the reason Alina is going to go "All lives matter" on her Grisha status.

Also, how come the maps are marked in Ravkan? Again, language barrier is not a thing here.

Alina being the most suspicious thief ever.

Also, ehm, what the actual fuck is that map doing?

Wow, look at Alina, definitelly not attracting any attention with her summoning.

Why are these two talking about it... in the library of all places?

Also, I'm pretty sure public libraries with all this quantity of information available to just anyone were not a thing until the early 20th century, which the Grishaverse is most certainly not.

Dear god, this is so dumb.

Who drew that shit that it's so accurate that the people actually recognize her by it? At least when she had the physical collar in the books it made sense why everyone recognized her.

Mal being no less suspicious about asking about this shit.

For some reason, there's First Army here. Is that Bohdan from season 1? Why the fuck is he of all people in Novyi Zem?

I know the plot needs to move forwar, but this is a bit too many coincidences for my taste.

Mal's doing parkour, because we've gone 20 minutes without an action scene and if nothing happens for too long, people will start to question our dumb-fuck narrative choices.

Also, the question stands. Where the fuck did Mal and Alina get their money.

Not that I am a big fan of the King's army, but like... just shoot him. He's gonna hang for desertion, anyway. You had a gun to his head, already.

And look, how much of a badass Mal is, taking down a handful of soldiers of equal training without much trouble.

Really... you're trying to stay hidden and you've just found out there's a massive bounty on your head and you... summon in a square full of people.

I don't know why I'm bothering to use my brain anymore.

Random Zemeni people decide to protect her because... she's a Saint? I guess?

Zemeni people believe in the Saints, I guess.

Okay... let's see if they can at least write a convincing sibling dynamic when they don't intend for those two characters to fuck.

Tamar sounding far too 21st century and that's not how people talk, in general. (I say as if I talk to people).

As much as I love the bounty posters, I do have to say, I don't get how they have such a good drawing on them so quickly.

Why is Inej stealing random people's knives?

They killed Haleen. Off screen.

I mean, I guess that's one way to avoid Inej's absolutely amazing, very important and already ruined by last season revenge moment. However...

I am not saying this just because they changed the story and I know they needed to include them again, since they did last season, but like... I don't trust these writers to do these characters an ounce of justice. Or make up an alternative story that makes even a little bit of sense.

And there's still 20 minutes of an episode left. FML.

Okay, hot take, I liked book!Pekka more. This one is far too much of a cartoon villain and not in a fun way. Kaz was the one for whom it was personal. Pekka was just doing business. So, either Pekka is being pupeteered by someone else (which would make the level of too complex and dumb to work conspiracy way too high. Like, it already is, but this would be over 9000) or they really made Pekka into a cartoon villain who would hunt down one guy for a single (fake) million kruge job.

And just like that, everyone in the room went deaf.

Oh, look, Wylan. He's baby.

Inej somehow got caught sneaking in the shadows. Book!Inej would be disappointed.

Ah, yes, asking a random stranger to help break your boyfriend out of the most secure and shitty prison in all of Kerch, like, right now, something which took a lot of planning and a lot of work in the book.

(stop comparing it to the book, we know it was better, you'll drive yourself crazy)

I think telling them you're innocent when you're being dragged into the cell is... a little pointless?

I am still asking the money question.

And that's Sturmhond's ship, isn't it?

Ew 2.

Dear god, they're still using the fucking pins. They didn't have to. They could have completely avoided it. They didn't have to do it. I feel personally attacked by the inclusion of the pins.

How does Alina not realize the boat people are after her, too, right now, is beyond me. Like... my dude, my lass, nobody is going to put their life on the line for one shitty pin.

Are we getting Sasha. Please tell me we're getting Sasha being the best leader and the best character, please, I need a little bit of common sense before I lose my shit.

So... the first army is doing the sham trials of Grisha. And Aleksander is going to save them. And he's still the villain and not the monarchy. Okay. Sure.

Is that Genya?

Tell me, if this is what happens, how in the hell is she going to join Alina, who is supporting the King.

Please, tell me the show is gonna go for a "Fuck the monarchy" twist.

The First army is laughing as they're preparing to murder a bunch of innocent people. I think it's only fair that I cheer on once Sasha and the Nichevoya tear them to bits.

It's Sasha to the rescue!!!!! Hell yeah.

Now that is a hero's entrance. Moi Soverennyi!

Ah, yes, time to catch up.

Oh, look, Alina being a dumb bitch finally but her in the ass.

Well, not really, we know it's Nikolai, but Saints I wish it did.

[cyber-streak-2]

Title: A Meeting Of Knights

{Description: After Rembrandt and Dirk lose their Taur halves, Rem goes out to search, and stumbles across a friendly group}

{A little gift fic that I decided to make for @soothedcerberus involving Rem}

——

Rembrandt walked through the forest with his new pair of legs, in search for where his taur half could’ve gone—since it immediately took off running after the separation happened.

The case was the same with Dirk’s taur half—and after both ran off to who knows where, the three had decided to split up, in hopes that it would help them find the dragon and horse quicker.

He hoped Dirk and Dael would be alright during their own searches.

~

“WoAH-“ Shizen flew up in time, out of the way of the horse—which seemed to be upset, but the fairy didn’t know what could potentially be wrong. She didn’t even know where it had come from.

While this was certainly an issue, Kishi was just relieved that it was simply a horse that would need to be dealt with, and nothing of the norm—like fairy hunters.

“Are you-...” Kishi started, looking up at where Shizen had flown up to—but, while doing so, noticed a shaking Ikuto, who was nowhere in the horses range, and was hiding behind a tree.

“Ikuto? What’s the matter?”

“I-... I can’t like horses...” The shaking Android muttered.

“You can’t?” Shizen looked down at them from above, “Don’t you mean that you don’t?”

Ikuto shook their helm. “Di-... Did I ever tell you how my creator was terrified of horses? He programmed me to feel the same...”

~

As Rembrandt continued his walk through the forest, he started to hear what sounded like a horse—was it his taur half? He hoped so.

At the same time, he could hear some voices—a little distant, but still well enough for him to understand what was being said.

“Why... would somebody do that? That’s such a weird-“ The first voice decided to question.

“Don’t ask me, it’s not like I can go meet up with him a-“ The second voice had started to reply.

“Guys, later. Right now, horse!” The third voice told the first and second.

“Hm?” Rembrandt raised an eyebrow.

Curious as to what was going on over there—and in the hopes that the horse mentioned happened to be his taur half, the Knight started to approach where he could hear all of this.

~

Kazoku watched the horse, wondering how it could be dealt with—the young girl didn’t want it to be hurt, and she figured the others felt the same.

An idea popped up in her mind. Maybe it wasn’t exactly the best one—but it certainly was an idea, and she didn’t think it was the worst thing ever.

At first, Kazoku slowly approached the horse—who seemed to be thinking of what to do next—from the side.

Then, when the young girl was close enough, she ran, and jumped—managing to get onto the horse’s back, although there was a bit of a struggle for a second or two.

“Kaz!” Kishi stared with widened eyes.

Kazoku waved the Knight off in a “Don’t worry” motion, before her attention was back on the horse.

“Hey, horsey,” Kazoku gently began to speak to it, “Is something the matter? Maybe we could-“

Kazoku was cut off with a yelp when, suddenly, the horse was beginning to kick around. And when it stopped a moment later, it started running off—with her still on its back.

“Kaz!”

~

Rembrandt figured that he was getting closer—but, rather, it was the other way.

He came to a stop when he noticed a horse—immediately managing to recognize it as his taur half—approaching.

On top of it was a young girl, who was holding on for dear life—not wanting to fall with how fast the taur half happened to be going.

Although, despite her best efforts, she hadn’t held on enough.

Moments later, the horse started to kick around again, before coming to a sudden halt—and that was when she was suddenly flung off its back.

“Oh!” Rembrandt gasped.

He ran forward as she started heading towards the ground—and managed to catch her just in time, causing both to sigh in relief. He had stumbled a little, but managed to stay standing.

He looked down at who he had caught, and noticed how she was now clinging to him—perhaps out of alarm from what happened, but she also seemed pretty comfortable.

“Are... Are you alright?” The Knight gently questioned, earning a nod in response.

While Rembrandt was distracted with the girl, the taur half took this time to run off, yet again, to who knows where.

“That’s good,” Rembrandt smiled in relief. Carefully, he placed her back onto the ground in front of him.

He had taken notice of how his taur half was already gone, but that was alright—he could just continue looking.

“Kaz!” Rembrandt heard one of the previous voices from earlier, and turned to look—noticing another Knight hurriedly approaching, although this one didn’t have a taur half.

Following behind it was a fairy, and someone else was following behind said fairy. At first glance, they could easily be seen as human. But, as they got closer, it was easier to tell that they were an Android.

“Are- are you hurt, Kazoku?” Kishi worriedly asked.

He carefully pulled the young girl close, and it started to try and check her over... until she made a quick little motion for that to stop.

“No, I’m okay,” Kazoku smiled, and pointed towards Rembrandt. “He caught me when I was thrown off.”

Kishi stood back up to their full height, and looked towards the other Knight. “Thank you.”

“It’s not a problem,” Rembrandt hummed.

“What brings you out here?” The Android asked, “This place could be a bit dangerous,” Sure, if you could defend yourself, it could be a little easier—but still. He was glad his home was safe.

“And... and there was also that horse...” Ikuto frowned, shivering.

“Ah... well, you see, that horse is actually the reason I’ve been wandering,” He tells the group, “That horse is my taur half- we... got split.”

“That- that can happen?” Ikuto raised an eyebrow.

“In this situation, yes.” Rembrandt nodded.

Kishi seemed to have already decided on something. “Perhaps us four could help you track down your half and get this fixed?”

Having the help while Dirk and Dael were searching elsewhere would be nice. Rembrandt nodded.

With that, the group started to head off in the direction that the taur half must’ve gone.

“Oh!” Kishi had just realized something—introductions. Names. That had yet to happen.

“My name is Kishi, it’s nice to meet you.” They held out their hand.

“I’m Rembrandt.” The Taur-less-Knight took and shook the others hand.

“This is my daughter Kazoku,” It started to gesture around to everyone, “And these are our friends, Shizen and Ikuto.”

“Soo,” Kazoku hums, looking up at Rembrandt—she definitely wanted to know all of the details, “How did this even happen?”

“Well...” Rembrandt started. It was a big story—although he was sure that they’d all have enough time for it to be shared.

[thoselethalarts]

𝓚𝓪𝔃𝓾𝓸 𝓖𝓾𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓻𝓸 - 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂

(SR) Lab Coats (Part 2): "I Can’t Really Turn Back Now."

(NRC: Woods Behind Campus)

Kazuo: W-WHOAA-! (THUD) OOF! Kazuo: Damnit… Why are there so many things to trip over out here? Kazuo: C’mon Kaz, this is the last day to get this done. Just gotta stick it out for one more day and you’ll never have to hike out here again. Kazuo: But… ugh, I feel like I haven’t made any progress at all on finding that mushroom that Jade wants…! Kazuo: How the hell does Crewel expect us to collect these ingredients if we have to go through so much trouble to get them?! Only one guy on campus has them and he’ll only give them away for high-value trade?! Kazuo: I can’t imagine anyone else had luck either if I’m struggling this much… Maybe he'll give us a pass if we all came back empty-handed…

(Snap!)

Kazuo: -?!

(Kazuo immediately turns around and rears his bat back at the ready)

???: Whoa now! No need to be pointing your bat at me, I’m friendly~

(Vantablack emerges from the underbrush and comes into view)

Kazuo: Oh-! Hey Vanta! Sorry, I thought you were some kind of wild animal or something. Kazuo: How’s it going? And… why are you sneaking around in the woods?

Vantablack: I’m not sneaking anywhere! I was just going for a little walk, getting some fresh air. You know, normal things.

Kazuo: Oh, fair enough! It is kinda nice out here… or well, it would be if I didn’t have this stupid assignment I had to focus on.

Vantablack: Oh yeah? What’s going on? Vantablack: Lemmie guess, you’re out here looking for something for an assignment? Alchemy, right?

Kazuo: Kind of- actually yeah, how’d you know? Kazuo: Are you… secretly a psychic?

Vantablack: Hah! Not exactly. Vantablack: Every time I’ve come out here for the last week there’s been people trudging around looking for alchemy ingredients. You haven’t been the first.

Kazuo: Oh, okay yeah, that makes more sense. Kazuo: Well… If you’re out here all that often, maybe you’ll know where I can find this ingredient I’m looking for.

Vantablack: Oh yeah? And what might that be?

Kazuo: Well… it’s kind of a long story, but…

(Fade cut while Kazuo recaps his tale to Vantablack)

Vantablack: So lemmie get this straight, you need this really rare mushroom to trade for another mushroom so you can take it back to your class? Vantablack: And since we don’t grow any on campus, your only luck is to find some either in the wild or get some from Jade, who’s holding it for ransom.

Kazuo: I wouldn’t call it ransom, more just a trade or an exchange. But yeah, that’s about it.

Vantablack: Heheh… sounds to me like you’ve been sent on a wild goose chase, Kaz.

Kazuo: What do you mean?

Vantablack: I mean, how do you even know this mushroom exists and Jade isn’t just making up excuses to not let you have any of what he has? I can see him doing that just for a good laugh.

Kazuo: Marcus said the same thing when I told him about it, but I just don’t think Jade’s that kind of person. I mean, he took the time to grow that really finicky mushroom all on his own, so he can’t be all that bad. Kazuo: I looked up that mushroom online just in case, and he was telling me the truth about it. I know it exists, I know what it looks like, and I know approximately where it’s supposed to grow. Kazuo: Now it’s just a matter of finding it, and I have until sundown to do it.

Vantablack: Sundown? Why sundown?

Kazuo: One of the things I read about the mushroom is that it’s really mobile. It, like, squishes back into the ground during the night, and pops back out again during the day. Kazuo: Once nightfall comes, I won’t be able to harvest it until the sun comes back up. Kazuo: Today is my last day to look for it too; that lab period for my class is tomorrow. I need to get some of that mushroom he has before then, or I’ll be letting my whole group down.

Vantablack: Sounds like you’ve really got your work cut out for you then. I won’t hold you back-

Kazuo: Wait! Actually, if you’re not busy, Vanta, maybe you could help me look for it?

Vantablack: Hmm? You want me to hunt mushrooms for you?

Kazuo: Not entirely! Just- help me keep an eye out for it! Kazuo: You’ve been through these woods probably a hundred times more than me. I’ve been hiking through here for a whole week and have come up completely empty-handed. Kazuo: Pleaaase? Just this one time? I could really use your help, Vanta!

Vantablack: Alright, alright! I’ll help, but only ‘cuz I think it’s cute that you begged. Vantablack: It’s been a while since I’ve hunted for something that’s actually a challenge to find, too. It’ll be good practice, so I don’t get rusty.

Kazuo: Awesome! Thank you so much!

Vantablack: Yeah yeah, so tell me about what this thing looks like.

Kazuo: So it’s a small mushroom with a thin stem, and it grows in little clusters like this. Kazuo: It’s dark purple on top, and its underside and stem are pale blue, and it kind of looks like it’s glowing when it gets hit by the light.

Vantablack: …That’s it? I thought you said these were supposed to be rare, I saw some growing earlier while I was trekking around.

Kazuo: REALLY?! Where?!

Vantablack: Back that way, sticking out of one of the trees. Vantablack: I’m pretty sure I remember where I saw it. Follow me, I’ll retrace my steps.

(Vantablack and Kazuo trudge through the underbrush, footsteps crunching on dirt and twigs as they walk)

Vantablack: See it? Riiiiight up there. It’s hanging off the trunk of this tree, maybe about 15-20ft above us. Vantablack: When I was walking around earlier, I saw a funny looking shadow on the ground. So I looked up and saw that mushroom waving around in the treetop. Vantablack: The light hitting it made the shadow turn purple. Pretty cool, but I didn’t need it for anything, so I just kept walking.

Kazuo: No way, there it actually is…! Vanta, you’re a hawk-eyed genius!

Vantablack: I know~

Kazuo: Man, no wonder I couldn’t see them before… I probably should get some new glasses when I get home. Kazuo: But, now that I know where it is all I have to do is grab it! Uhm… but how am I actually gonna do that…?

Vantablack: Just… climb up there and grab it? What’s the big deal?

Kazuo: Well, uh… I’ve never really climbed a tree before. I’m kinda afraid of heights, actually.

Vantablack: You’re gonna let that stop you? I thought you Savanaclaws were supposed to be more resilient than that.

Kazuo: I’m not gonna let it stop me! I just need to figure out how I’m gonna do this without getting hurt… Kazuo: I could try and use magic to get it down… but that might damage the mushroom, or worse yet it’ll send a whole branch tumbling down on top of my head. Kazuo: If I had a broom I could fly up there and grab it… but it’s already getting close to dark, if I went back to get one by the time I got back it’d probably already be too late.

Vantablack: Probably shoulda thought of that before you got out here.

Kazuo: I know! I was already so nervous about how close I was cutting it on this deadline, I just wasn’t thinking. Kazuo: The easiest way really is just climbing up and grabbing it myself, I think. I’m not looking forward to this…

Vantablack: Ah, it’ll be fine! If you fall, I’ll just catch you, how about that?

Kazuo: You sure that’ll be safe?

Vantablack: Brother, I can lift a full-grown man over my shoulder with one arm. Catching you would be like holding a handful of grapes~

Kazuo: Alright then… whew. Can you give me a boost to this lowest branch, then?

Vantablack: Sure thing.

(With a bit of shuffling, Vantablack helps hoist Kazuo up into the tree’s branches)

Vantablack: Uuuup you go!

Kazuo: W-Whoa… okay, this is immediately intimidating…!

Vantablack: Just keep moving! Find a momentum and put one hand over the other, you’ll be fine!

Kazuo: A-Alright…! Kazuo: One hand over the other, one hand over the other… don’t look down, just keep moving, one hand over the other… Kazuo: I-I think it’s working…! I can almost reach it now! Just a little bit further and…!

(Kazuo plucks the mushroom out from the trunk of the tree)

Kazuo: I-I got it…! I got it!!

Vantablack: Hah! And you didn’t even fall, how about that~

Kazuo: Oh god, that’s right, now I need to get back down. Uh… Kazuo: H-Hey Vanta? How do I get down, exactly?

Vantablack: Just climb down?

Kazuo: U-Uh… This is really high up. I don’t think I can…!

Vantablack: Just do what you did in reverse!

Kazuo: But the mushroom…!

Vantablack: Oh my god, just throw it down and I’ll catch it for you. Sheesh…

(After some scuffling, Kazuo finally manages to get down from the tree)

Kazuo: Y-You still have it, right?

Vantablack: It’s right here in my hand. See?

Kazuo: Okay, thank god. Kazuo: Hahaha… M-Man I can’t believe I just did that. My everything is still shaking.

Vantablack: Still got one last branch to go. Hop on down, you won’t get hurt from that height.

Kazuo: Yeah… yeah, you’re right. Kazuo: Thanks for helping me with that again, Vanta. I don’t think I coulda done it without your-

(Kazuo hops down from the tree, making an audible squish on impact)

Kazuo: Wha-? Aw man, what the hell did I just step on? I hope that wasn’t an animal turd or something… HUH?! Kazuo: YOU’RE KIDDING ME- A FROGDOSS MUSHROOM?!

Vantablack: Huh? What, that silly thing? Yeah, they’re all over the place around here.

Kazuo: This is-! That’s the mushroom I’ve been needing this whole time! You’re telling me I coulda been finding them all over the forest floor in here?! Kazuo: Damnit…! I’ve been so busy looking up in the treetops for the velvet-cap that I wasn’t looking down at my feet for the frogdoss! I really WAS sent on a wild goose chase!

Vantablack: Pff- Bahahaha! You spent this whole week looking for a stupid tree-mushroom when you coulda been done on day one if you just looked down?! Vantablack: Oh, that’s rich~ You really would have failed if you didn’t meet me here in the first place~

Kazuo: Man… Now I just feel stupid. I spent all this time looking for this super-rare mushroom, and now I have it and I don’t even need it anymore! It’s just gonna go to waste… Kazuo: …Wait. This is a super-rare mushroom. I might not need it, but maybe Crewel will give me extra credit if I bring it back to class! I bet nobody else in class found something as cool as this EVER! Kazuo: Though, I would feel bad if I didn’t give Jade some too… since he looked like he was really looking forward to getting some… Alright, that settles it! Kazuo: I’ll just tear up some of this squished frogdoss here by my feet and bring that back to class, take one of the velvet-cap back to Jade, and bring the other back to Crewel! Everybody wins!

Vantablack: Soooooo… are you gonna pay me for helping you out? My services aren’t exactly free, you know.

Kazuo: Huh? I mean I can, but I don’t have any money on me right now…

Vantablack: Hm… ya know what? I’ll just take one of these.

(Vantablack grabs one of the velvet-cap mushrooms from Kazuo’s hand)

Kazuo: Wha-! Hey!

Vantablack: What? You found three of them and only need two, right? So me taking one shouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Kazuo: I mean, I guess not, but-

Vantablack: Besides… I’m kinda interested to see what this tastes like~

Kazuo: Tastes…?! I mean… Okay, well, you have fun with it then, but are you sure you should be eating that? I don’t even know if it’s poisonous or not.

Vantablack: Ehh, it doesn’t matter. I’ll find out on the way back to Diasomnia~ Vantablack: Homph~

(Vantablack pops the mushroom into their mouth)

Vantablack: Oh! It’s sour! A little bitter… tastes like a weird, salted lemon rind. I kinda like it, actually~ Vantablack: Well, catch ya later, Kazzy~ I’ll see you in the medical ward if it turns out this is poisonous!

(Vantablack trudges away happily, leaving Kazuo alone in the forest)

Kazuo: Man, they’re a weird one alright, but at least they’re happy I guess? Kazuo: And ya know what, I’m happy too~ Today’s been one hell of an adventure! Extra credit, here I come!

/ End