#I procrastined this for over a month lmfao

[mirroredmasquerader]

This thing that I spent much too long on

[felibrary]

our love has always been 10 centimeters apart - aventurine

synopsis: the two times the both of you were away from each other even though the only thing you’ve longed for was each other, and the one time where the two of you find your way back to one another again.

pairing: aventurine x reader (gn) | wordcount: 2.0k | content & warnings: unestablished relationship, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, reader cries a bit (tiny bit), mentions of alcohol and “sex” (an idiom = get into one's pants) but no graphic mention of sex + they’re not drunk, kissing, making up and making out (one kiss), tba if i find more, proofreading is for losers (its 4am (cet) i'm just too lazy); oneshot

tags: @azullumi (i swear that grey block with spikes from mario literally looks like "alpha sigma boss. you guys agree right?? prove azul wrong.)

img credits: @/magnolia29 on x!

a/n: i started this draft at like 12 an and procrastinated for god knows how long but yeah!! hope this is okay for what sleep deprived me wrote lmfao

“you seriously still wear that thing?”

aventurine points at the wool scarfs you’re wearing, it hangs a bit loosely due to you not wrapping it around your neck enough.

“yeah, got a problem?” you tease, grinning as you look at him. “it’s the first thing i got from you when i was moved to this department.”

ah right. he remembers the day vividly. they said that a certain member has risen quite quickly in the past few months and will now be moved to his department: the strategic investment department.

on the first day of work, aventurine, like the thoughtful senior he is, came up to you and greeted you, offering you a tour around the building and introducing you to the staff and everyone who worked here. you agreed and followed him as he guided you around your new workplace.

the two of you got along quickly, exchanging laughters and telling each other jokes as the two of you were strolling around the building. he remembers gifting you an expensive scarf, one made out of the finest wool in the whole galaxy. you thanked him wholeheartedly and at that he couldn’t help but invite you out for a drink - like the mindful senior he is, of course.

drinking after work became a little habit for the two of you. sometimes the two of you were able to drag veritas or topaz along, but usually veritas denied the invitations, saying “he doesn’t want to mush up his brain due to the alcohol.” as for topaz she usually came along to look after the two of you, but today it seemed like there was an emergency regarding numby, which she had to rush to immediately. leaving you and aventurine alone.

which led you to your current situation, the two glasses of alcohol in front of aventurine are left untouched, everything that happens right now is done with a sober mind. he can’t put the alcohol to blame.

your hands are close, they're a mere 10 centimeters apart from his. it takes everything inside of him to not take your hand in his and smother it in kisses, but he refrains, he can't - he shouldn't even be thinking about something like this.

your soft lips lean forward to meet his, they're a mere 10 millimeters away from his. you continue to launch forward, he doesn't move away, he can't move - he's frozen. you assume he granted you permission to kiss him. your hand snakes towards his, loosely intertwining the tips of your fingers.

your lips ghost over his - the distance between the two of you is gone, it scares him. he fears he might not be able to return if he goes this way. 

aventurine can’t help but pull away from your tantalizing touch, it hurts him. but he’s scared.

he slips his fingers out of your grasp, lurching backwards, uncomfortably shifting on the big sofa and scooting back, to move away from you.

your eyes shoot open, clearly filled with confusion. your lips slightly part open and you tilt your head to the side, irritation is written all over your face.

"s-sorry." he apologizes quickly. "i don't think i'm made for this," he mutters. regret immediately overcoming him and you.

"ah, don't worry. i should be the one apologizing. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have just assumed your feelings. forgive me." you try to maintain a steady tone but your voice and expression betray you. your voice quivers - it breaks, it sounds like you're holding back tears that are about to spill at any given moment.

no, no , no this can't be. it's all his fault. he ruined everything once again, his gift was a mere misfortune, it only caused bad luck. 

your hand that was once connected with his slithered away from its previous position, this time you really were gone.

perhaps this is when aventurine realized that the both of you weren't just mere inches apart but the distance between the two of you went beyond planets and galaxies and thus could never be conquered.

the two of you were worlds apart.

it’s been a few years ever since he’s seen you. (there hasn’t been a single day where he hasn’t thought about you.) apparently someone caught wind of what happened between you and aventurine, of course they reported it right away. initially it was planned to fire you, for making a move on one of the ten stonehearts, especially as someone who stood below him. 

but aventurine convinced them not to do so, saying he’s also at fault and that they should just make you move departments, perhaps you’d learn from your mistakes. it was successful - he was beyond relieved. he didn’t show it, the only thing that was visible to them was a cunning smile. 

behind it, beneath the faux smile, he was clenching his teeth, biting the insides of his lips so hard that they began to bleed (he wishes that you were there to trace the outline of your lips over his once again, mending to his wounds - both, the one on his lips and the one in his heart.) his left hand was trembling behind his back as he awaited their judgment.

eventually you did get moved to another department and aventurine didn’t visit you, too caught up at work and business matters on other planets. 

(it’s a lie - he knows that himself, it’s just to avoid you. it’s for the better he thinks, better for the both of you to not meet. he fears that all the feelings he kept hidden inside his chest will return and turn his world upside down once again.)

one time he overheard some co-workers gossiping about “the person who got into mr. aventurines pants” getting sent onto a mission that’ll take several years. “what a pity that they won’t get to see him anymore.” a female voice giggles as the other voice hums in agreement and they walk away.

lies. all lies, it had to be. both that you “got into his pants” - hell it was a mere kiss that the two of you exchanged (not even a kiss because he shied away.) but it had to be a lie that you were sent away right? right? It’s just rumors, just some gossip that people need to pass their time, it can't be. 

of course, to his dismay, it had to be true. 

his luck was truly a misfortune.

spring has come, the remaining snow melts away and turns into puddles. the skies started to clear up and flowers that were once covered in snowflakes, hidden beneath the white blanket of snow, started to open up again, blooming in their full glory. 

but there was another flower he spotted, one that stood out from the others - you. after all this time, he’s finally found you. 

this time he doesn't falter.

he runs up to you. pulling you into a tight embrace as he hugs you. his nose is buried into the wool scarf you’re wearing, he took notice that it’s the same one he gifted you back then. your scent mixed with his still lingers on it.

“aventurine?!!” you shout, surprised to see him again after all those years. 

“you kept it..” he whispers fondly. huh? you’re confused, what is he talking about? “the scarf i mean.” he says without looking up, as if he knew what you were thinking without having to see what expression you wear or hear your voice and which sound you’ve uttered.

“of course, i did.” you say bitterly. “after all, it's the last and only thing i have left from you.” you whisper, a frown finds its way onto your face.

“no. that’s not true.” he protests, finally looking up. it's just like the last time he saw you, your eyebrow furrowed, your eyes telling him that you’re on the verge of crying - similar to when he rejected your advances. “you have me now.” the words barely above a whisper.

“oh aeons, dont, please. i beg of you.” aventurine is quick to put his gloved fingers on your eyes and rub them softly, collecting the tear drops that are about to run down your cheek. “you know i hate seeing you like this.” he whispers quietly as he removes his glove from his hand and rubs circles over your cold and reddened cheeks. 

“i missed you.” you hiccup in between your cries, aventurine continues to catch your tears, he won’t allow you to cry any more - especially because he’s the reason why you’re tearing up.

“pshh.” he tries to quiet you. “ive missed you too, probably more than you know.” as an attempt to reassure you.

“i’m here now, i’ll stay with you, i’ll follow you wherever you go.” he leans forward, this time he’s the one initiating the kiss and you gladly return it. his chapped lips meet yours, kissing you messily. there’s some biting and teeth clashing but he couldn’t care less, neither do you - after all this is what you’ve been waiting for.

there's no distance, no fronts, no walls to separate the two of you. he's never felt this kind of love - your love. he hasn't been held this lovingly for an eternity, this is the first time he actually somehow feels human.

boundaries is a word foreign to the two of you, they've never been there - they never will be there because from the beginning on aventurines heart has only sought after you.

it used to terrify him, the way his heart always seemed to jump out of his rib cage upon seeing you. the louder and faster the pumping got the closer you leaned in - just like back then.

but exactly because of that or rather because of you he discovered a new part of himself, diving into an ocean of emotions that were anchored to the bottom of the water, anticipating the daz they'll be discovered and treasured in one's heart. those feelings were unknown to him until he met you.

"what should i say once we meet again?", "what should i do to prove that i'm ready now and don't fear to love or be loved anymore?", "how can i prove my love to you?"

those questions have haunted him in his restless nights, the ones that made him wake up from his deep slumber where he dreamt of you, forehead glistening with cold beads of sweat, gripping his bed sheets tightly. (all of his thoughts and dreams are filled with you.)

the beauty of this world has always been hidden beneath a window curtain, he was oblivious - blind, just how breathtaking the world can truly be.

but you came along, pulling the curtains away, revealing the outside world to him. you stepped into his life and shattered the glass that kept him confined behind the window.

you confessed your unyielding love for him. you love him - you've always done and you always will - you imagined a future which he was a part of. where the vibrant colors of the sun not only greeted you but also him as he laid next to you, side by side. watching as the rising sun kisses your skin with its tendrils of sunshine. 

(he'd follow the rays of sunshine and kiss the same spots they marked, he'd leave a trail of kisses along your body.)

how can he ever repay you for what you've done for him?

a mere thank you wouldn't suffice - not in a million years.

if you were to ask him if he'd give you the sun, the moon, the stars or the whole sky - he would.

if you were to ask him if he'd get on his knees for you - he would, no questions asked. be it when he prays to you, pleas leaving his lips and dripping off his tongue or when he'd kneel down on one of his knees to tie your shoes or propose to you - he would.

if you were to ask him if he'd stay by your side all night or rather all life long - he would. he'd be your light that'd guide you even though the flame went extinct, he'd be your flesh you'd nibble on, he'd be your blood you live off.

he wouldn't hesitate for a single moment, he'd give you everything you yearn and long for in a single heartbeat.

after all, that's the least he can do for you.

@azullumi here extra paragraph again hhihihihuuh anyway when's the stoner!chuuya x stoner!reader fic like where??? also azul i love you a lot. you deserve the best - you deserve the world. i hope you get accepted into your dream uni, get everything you've worked hard for (u deserve it, you're a person full of determination) and yeah convince ur teacher to extend the deadline!!

© VYNICITY 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.

e/n: it's 4am rn im sooooo tired but yeah here!

[eternalmarvel]

MK1 - BI HAN X READER ~ REUNION ~

an: ok hi guys lowkey i havent written fanfiction in years so this is my brief return. so feral for bi-han bro got me writing again

anyways please enjoy this story that i cooked up at work instead of doing what i get paid to do 🔥i got really sloppy at the end because this fic ended up being MUCHH longer than what i intended and i lowkey lose the plot bc it was supposed to be much more different

also if you guys have requests send them in i might do them i might not so dont expect too much

ps+ i'm not chinese so if i mischaracterized something pls let me know!! i'm the wrong type of asian to be writing this lmfao

--

you returned to the lin kuei outpost hoisted on the shoulders of the neighboring rocky mountains. it was a heavy winter yet, but a meager layer of snow had curtained everything all the same. your breath was heavy as you sighed and looked at the exterior of the stronghold, smoke spilling from your mouth. it had been years since you had been back here, practicing with the lin kuei as only a young woman. you were never an initiate, but your father was a powerful man who had been good friends with the former grandmaster of the lin kuei and wanted to assist them by having you help them out. after a couple of months of training and bonding with all the other lin kuei initiates (as well as the grandmaster's sons), you had left to pursue your responsibilities. you had been burdened with far too many tasks to just remain in one place -- it pained you but you knew you had to leave to do what was required of you. not one for goodbyes (and the fact that if you had to confront the brothers about your departure, you probably would've ended up staying...), you disappeared into the midst of the dark night.

after all with great power comes......

the gates to the stronghold opened and you entered inside. it was difficult being back. how would you approach the brothers? would they still be upset at you for leaving? surely not, considering they let you back in. but what if this is a trap, a ploy to set up a mediation to get you to explain where you were all these years? thousands of thoughts swirled inside your mind but it didn't matter now. you were inside the courtyard now, watching as initiates sparred and practiced with one another. you could begin to feel the influx of raw magical energy as you walked by, prompting you to take a deep breath in and walk with your head held higher. you opened the gates to the interior to see tomas and kuai liang speaking with some of the younger initiates. kuai had his hands crossed behind his back, his eyes stern as ever as he commanded some of the younger warriors to try out a new training exercise. tomas had a small smile on his face, his arms crossed in front of his chest. they didn't notice your arrival and so you quietly walked up to them, with hands behind your back and a shy smile across your face.

tomas was the first to notice you, and his face immediately burst into a smile. "(name)!" he yelled out, excited like a puppy being adopted by an owner for the first time ever. you were originally going to keep this visit somber, but you couldn't help to keep the smile off your face. suddenly a huge urge to hug him overcomes you, and you spread your arms around the nape of his neck, pulling him in. he pats your back, exclaiming:

"i didn't realize you were going to be here so soon!"

you pull away from him, giving him a big smile. "sorry it took me so long. had a lot of stuff to get to."  that smile on your face does not betray your intentions. it's the truth--you really did have a lot to get to. procrastinating and putting off the visit for as long as you did, however, was honestly not your intention.

you see kuai glance at you gently, a fond look washing over him as you peak from over tomas' shoulders.

"c'mon, i know you want in on this too," you say playfully as you beckon kuai over. he smiles kindly as he takes you into his arms.

"it's good to see you again, (name). seems that time's been treating you right," he says with his hands on his hips, admiring your character as he gazes at you from up to down. you can't help but blush, and wave away his comment.

"you guys have grown up a lot too! what have they been feeding you guys?!" you playfully ask. the two of them playfully chuckle, as tomas responds with,  "been drinking my 7 glasses of milk everyday!" you give him a confused look as kuai gives him a side-eye. "pretty sure it's meant to be water, tomas. but i'm glad you're so lactose-affluent," you say playfully with a grin.

kuai takes you softly by the arm and introduces you to the other members. "everyone, this is (name). she used to train with us and it's lucky for us she wasn't officially trained as an initiate or she'd be better than all of us." his compliments cause you to blush and roll your eyes, as you give a humble bow.

"where is bi-han?" you ask, reluctantly. kuai's gaze becomes sterner and yet more cautious.  "he's with some students right now. though i uhh....am not sure how receptive he will be to your....visit." you smile. "don't worry for me, kuai. i can handle the boy i used to beat in our spars." "except he's not a boy now. he's grandmaster of the lin kuei." your eyes fall to the ground. of course he was. their father died just a few years ago and now bi-han had inherited one of arcticka's greatest creations. you look back up and tomas and kuai solemnly.

"sorry i could not attend your father's funeral. i only heard about it just recently and even if i knew about it earlier, i didn't know how you guys would feel about me popping up at his service unannounced."

"you're family, (name). you were then, you still are now. nothing's changed but the time passing," he says tenderly as he rests his hand on your shoulder. you give him a smile in return and nod your head.

"thanks for the sentiment, kuai. but....let's see if your big bro shares the same sentiment."  kuai and tomas share an unsettling look as they take a deep breath in. "you're welcome to try and get through to him. don't blame me if he throws an ice pick at your head."

you roll your eyes playfully. "i'm sure i'll be fine, just tell me where he is."

tomas points to the other side of the stronghold, pointing to the large training room decorated with gold and red lanterns. come to think of it, most of the stronghold was painted with evidence of the Chinese New Year's festivities. you hadn't realized that the new year had encircled so quickly. as you made your way to bi-han, you felt your heart flutter. there was no telling how he would react. what if he actually DID throw an ice pick at your head? the nerves bubbled up in your gut as the cold air outside did nothing further to ease your unrest. as you walked to the large room where bi-han was at, your eyes briskly caught a glance at the remnants of more festivities at the stronghold. you smiled softly to yourself.

at least bi-han cared enough about his initiates to host what looked like some vendors/merchants and games at the stronghold for all of them. this gesture was sweet, almost like a father providing for the children he's adopted. just like his own father, though you didn't dare to say this out loud. this thought process however, had managed to calm you down until you got to the very wide doors to the training room. you took a deep breath in before you quietly opened the doors, peering in to a room with many masked initiates sitting on the floor inside gazing up at bi-han as he fervently explained something.

you moved to the back of the room, carefully moving past the other member to get a good look at bi-han, leaning your shoulder against the wall. a few minutes passed as he wrapped up his lesson, finally catching your eye. for a ninja he wasn't much aware of your presence. but he also hadn't felt your presence in years, and you were aware of that. when his eyes met yours, he didn't look surprised like a person gazing upon a long-dead wraith but rather he looked stunned as to how you even got here. there was anger hidden behind his eyes, but at the same time....

"(name)?" it had been years but you still felt the same way when he called out your name. his voice had gotten deeper and he had changed into a grown man. your eyes explored his stature -- he was taller, his muscles were defined, and a different aura now defined him. he was no longer the softer boy you knew him to be, now he was grandmaster of earth's last defence; of course he was going to be a changed man now.

you smiled cheekily, not knowing how to react. truthfully, you didn't know how you got this far.

"hi, bi-han. i hope i didn't distract you when you were busy teaching," you speak coyly, not wanting the other initiates to overhear your WHOLE conversation. he looks down at you, almost like he's debating what to say next. you take a deep gulp and you scrape away at the skin underneath your nails, causing them to bleed. after what seems like a milennia of consideration, he furrows his brows and briskly walks past you.

you nod your head with a soft smile. you understand why he feels this way but to be honest, you're not sure whether you would've preferred this treatment or having an ice pick gone straight to your dome. the other initiates look on carefully, trying not to invoke their grandmaster's anger. before they can do anything else, they follow their grandmaster out the room.

"don't take it to heart. if you were anyone else, he probably would've frozen you solid. i'm surprised he actually went the mature route."

you turn around to see whose voice those sentences belonged to. your eyes fell upon a man wearing a yellow uniform, similar to kuai's uniform but the colours inversed. his hair is tied up almost in a ponytail and restrained by a yellow bandana across his forehead. he's a good-looking man, but an unfamiliar face.

"i'm sorry, i don't recognize you," you say as you furrow your eyebrows piecing together who this man could be.

"cyrax. i haven't seen you before here either. though kuai said that there may be a guest visiting today." he gives you a small smile and stretches out his hand so you can shake it. you give him a warm yet stern handshake. you take his hand and give him a small shake.

"i was hoping for a warmer reception from him honestly. though it was my fault for thinking he might've reacted the same way i might've towards him."

"eh, he's been cranky for the last few days. still, that makes him not snapping on you all the more interesting. are you familiar to him? personally?"

"oh, ha, no," you wave him away embarrassingly, "i used to train here with the brothers. i'm acquainted with them pretty well. just haven't seen them in years, so...."

"ahh. well, good luck with trying to get sub-zero to warm up to you. you're attempting to do the impossible." he replies with a cheeky grin, before bowing to you and leaving the room. you take a deep breath in, unsure of how you were going to get the grandmaster to liven up a little and talk to you. as the day continued, you found yourself wandering the old halls of the stronghold you used to train in. it was night-time now, and you admired the dark glow on all the new year festival decorations. they shone bright as the gold off of them reflected the moon's light. a little upset at not being able to have the reunion you wanted, you walked out to the terrace surrounding the courtyard, looking down at the dimly lit enclosure. no one was out practicing right now, causing you tp scoff to yourself. when you practiced here you went well into the late night and yet none of these new initiates hold the same respect and regard for hardwork as you did. your mind flashes back to your sparring practices with bi-han. when you both were younger, he could hardly touch you you were so fast. your hits were hard and fast, mirroring bi-han's form but you were just that much quicker. he hated admitting it, but you were just a better fighter -- though your elemental magic couldn't hold a light to his cryomancy.

before your mind wandered off to the unknown, you heard footsteps behind you making their way down the corridor. you turned to see bi-han in a dark blue/black hanfu with a few books in his arms. your breath caught in your throat as you gazed upon him. if he saw you, he was doing a great job at pretending he never did. this didn't matter to you, as you quickly hid behind one of the pillars in the terrace. he had his head down, bad idea. as he came closer to you, you waited for the perfect moment to strike before finally revealing yourself. bi-han didn't react at all and if he did, it was out of pure annoyance.

"no. you're not leaving until we speak."

"are we finished?" he says stoically, before attempting to go around you. "that was enough of us speaking."

flabbergasted, you back up quickly and block his path again.

"bi-han." you say, defeated and exhausted. you didn't come all this way to get dejected and leave without getting proper closure. if you had to move on from him, you wanted to at least clear things up with him before getting on with your life.

"did you not leave the last time? i am simply doing to you what you have done to m-us." he replies matter-of-factly.

"i'm here now aren't i? c'mon now, i know you've been dying to talk to me. i wanted to talk to you all this time!" you say coyly, throwing a playful punch at his meaty arm.

he looks a little upset, or at least his eyes and frown betray him if he was going for a stoic look.

"why now? why after all these years. you might as well return to wherever you came from," he replies lowly and yet it shows that he's hurt. your heart warms a little at the fact that you could've had this much of an impact on him. you nod your head slowly and look into the enclosure beneath you.

"i'm sorry bi-han. you know i had to leave soon. it wasn't going to be forever, even if i wanted for it to be so. and i knew......" you look down, a long distance into the ground, "if i told any of you guys i was leaving i probably wouldn't have ended up leaving." the look on bi-han's face relaxes a bit, but you can still see him holding the stress on his face. there's not much more that you can say. he was right in being upset -- if anyone else abandoned you the way that you did to him or his brothers you'd be livid. the two of you spent months with one another and yet neither of you had confessed your feelings. the tension was palpable and everyone else noticed it too, it was just confusing as to why neither of you acted on your desires. for you, it was the fear of rejection. perhaps it was the same for him as well?

you lean on the terrace on your side, gazing at bi-han. just being near him after all these years was enough of a blessing but something in you wanted more, though you would never publicly admit to this. you stop yourself at first, but then reach for his arm, carefully, almost to not startle him like he's a wild animal at bay for now but at risk of leaving at the first sign of danger. he doesn't retreat, moving his gaze from your face to your arm. you gently get a hold of his forearm, grazing your thumbs against them. he's cold, but retracts the cold from his skin so that it's back to normal temperature. you hold your gaze at his arm, almost too shy to look at his face.

"i think you've missed me all this time."

bi-han scoffs. "not in the slightest."

"then why are you so close to me?"

it's like the act is intuition. he notices how close the two of you are now and apparently his closeness has gone unnoticed because only a mere half foot now separates the two of you. he lets out a small chuckle out of annoyance and shakes his head.

"you still remain as aggravating as ever."

you put your hand on your hip.

"i apologize for upsetting the mighty grandmaster of the lin kuei." you say, coming a little closer and almost closing the already-tiny gap between the two of you.

"that can be rectified." he says, almost flirtatiously. you're a bit taken aback by his frisky comment. you thought he might've actually been offended by your comment but it seems that his playful nature has become unfamiliar to you after all these years. you place your hand gently on his cheek, caressing his cheekbones and acne scars.

"i've missed you, you know," you finally express your true feelings.

bi-han's eyes soften a little.

"i should've been here-with you....i know that i didn't exactly give you much closure bu-," before you can continue on with your tedious apology he fills the space between the two of you and kisses you with a voracious hunger you've never seen before. his nose pushes against yours and you lean into the kiss, slightly moaning. he tries to slide his tongue against you and it's almost as though the two of you are young kids again, sparring. you defend your mouth, refusing to let his tongue inside but he grabs ahold of your other arm, surprising you. taking advantage of your shock, he slips his tongue inside triggering another gentle moan from you. the two of you wrestle with your tongues, exploring the smallest crevices of one another's mouths. years of tension and pressure are finally alleviated with this kiss. you lean in for more, like a child fiending for sugar, but he pulls away to gaze in your eyes.

you take a deep breath -- that workout took a lot of your wind away from you. however, your lips still draw near his, lowkey aching for more.

"i've wanted to do that for so long..." he says, pushing his forehead against yours. "are you planning on leaving again?"

you smile brightly. so the cold-hearted grandmaster did hold a soft spot for you.

"that depends. do you want me to stay?"

he removes his hands from your wrist and brings them up to your face, reciprocating your earlier caresses.

"as long as you don't leave again."

[myalvmss]

⎯⎯ CHAPTER 1, STARRY EYES ❞

DESC. “make a choice that you know you won't regret,” had always been what you've heard from your mother. but what if you don't know what's ahead of you? or what to not regret? these, are the times where it gets challenging for you.

PAIRINGS. aquamarine hoshino x fem!reader

WARNINGS. click this before reading!

BUTTERFLY'S NOTE. y'all have no idea on how much I procrastinated on this 💀 LMFAO. enjoy! this is so short omg 💔 BUT LIKE HELP I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WORD THE ENDING??

LYRICS. i've got my eye on you. (x2) + you'll find another life to live, I know you'll get over it.

PREV. ｟ MASTERLIST. ｠ NEXT.

Y/N had been extremely bored about all of these talking her mother had been doing, babbling about how things will go in the future as she worries for her daughter, y/n. “mother, you've been quite hectic lately..” y/n mumbled, loud enough for her mother to hear however. “How am I not, sweetheart?” y/n's mother only sighed in a slight tint of frustration, “you've always been a prodigy.. perhaps I'll let you choose a career on your own.” y/n's mother gave her a soft smile, an apologetic one if she was pressuring you. “well..” y/n spoke to her mother, and she nodded.. “i wanna try being an actress, and an idol. I mean, I have experience on being an actress. and being an idol is hard, but I'll work through it.” your mother only showed her approval for y/n's decision, and it was a high chance her father did too. just, as long as y/n's grades are passing enough. that's okay. but the thing is, y/n didn't know what choice to choose. what is it a wise one? no? probably. but.. it was too late.

⎯⎯

and that was only taken back months ago while y/n was only a middle schooler, right now y/n is a popular idol and also an actress, acting in many series and movies, all of them seemed to be successful enough. y/n's parents weren't exactly strict about grades, in a way. they weren't harsh at all, like. for example, if they were to be something wrong, they'd sit down and talk to y/n about it, with an open mind. and also an understanding nature for their only daughter. they always hold support for y/n, and honestly with whatever decision she makes, they're proud. but of course, for some terms, they are protective as they were still y/n's parents. y/n was only enrolling in Yotou Highschool, it was perfect. even her best friends from middle was attending! in the entertainment course, luckily the four of them got in.

y/n walked into the classroom, seeing many students there.. all looking pretty, handsome and all. there were pretty girls, handsome boys, yeah whatever.. but y/n wasn't interested. especially not by only appearance, y/n prefers personality. you know? y/n walked pass the students talking to each other, as she found her idol-mates. “Ah, y/n!” ann exclaimed, waving towards y/n with a big smile. y/n returned one back to ann, as she walked towards the group of girls. y/n sighed, “this school seems to be very..” y/n started trailing off a little, as she looked down to her shoes. “intimadating?” herta guessed, as fuyuko and y/n nodded in agreement. however ann reassured, that everything will be fine!

it wasn't too long before people started recognizing who y/n and the girls were. the four was already successful either way. there wasn't much of a surprise — kind of. herta only wished for those to not recognize her, as she was basically trying to hide at all costs from people. which she failed miserably. ann only laughed at herta's little sulking while fuyuko and y/n couldn't help but hold in their laughs, as they hold pity towards herta's failure.

⎯⎯

the teacher seemed to be extremely late, from what you thought. but fuyuko was desperate for the teacher to be absent! “fuyuko, it's only the first day.” y/n reminded her, but fuyuko paid absolutely no point in that reminder. “a first day is like any day.” fuyuko argued, as y/n deadpanned. while for ann and herta, the two were wondering about their idol activities. a slight whine from ann coming, as they were whining about how they're gonna end up tired just by doing a long rehearsal of dancing, “you can't do much about it.” herta said, getting a tablet out from her bag as she scrolls through the groupchat named "Starlight ; Lvamia Productions". checking through their schedule for the day, y/n and fuyuko entered the conversation after. “if we have rehearsal, we can simply leave school for it.” herta said, turning the tablet opposite to the three girls in front of her, showing the schedule they had. “after all, we're in the entertainment course. we're allowed to have a sloppy attendance, as I'm pretty sure that our parents won't be too happy if we had terrible grades, yes?”

the girls nodded. the four couldn't help but think about your parents if they were to find out about the performances you had academically. “do we have rehearsal though?” asked fuyuko. herta turned the tablet around, looking through the schedule. she nodded as a response, soon enough there will be rehearsal in a few hours, herta told the other three girls. “we have a dance rehearsal, then soon enough we'll go over our notes.. as we have a chance to perform on stage in a few months or so?” herta specified. the girls eyes lit up as they were excited to go on stage again like last time they did, it was successful enough and they even made to have attention in the media. y/n smiled, “right then. starlight?” y/n placed the back of her palm in the air, as fuyuko and ann looked at each other and smiled. placing their hands above yours, while herta was the only one left. she hesitated, before showing the most smallest genuine smile she ever did in her whole life, as she joined too.

⠀⠀⠀“stargazers!”

the girls exclaimed, raising their arm up in the air after. they all looked at each other, lowering their arms down. sharing laughter and joy together. a choice made in y/n's path once again, is this finally a choice that y/n did not regret? finding happiness in this life other than the last life she had lived through? now that y/n thinks about it, maybe this is what mother meant by making a choice you won't regret. will she make more choices in the future? ones she'll know she won't regret? there's no such guarantee, but having this kind of friendgroup made her forget the miserable life she once lived. although the thought of dying and ending up in a place like hell was something you thought of before, you didn't expect to live another life. reincarnation. but knowing that you did get this rare chance, it feels like you got to relive a new life and experience things that you never got to experience. sure, you sometimes get deja vu or flashbacks of your old life, but you didn't pay too much mind on it. she's happy now, I think. still, there's more hardships coming in her way soon enough. but she knows, she'll get over it. she always does.

suddenly, the teacher came in the class. finally! wait, no. fuyuko felt down with the fact the teacher came; but like y/n said, it's the first day. no way the teacher would be absent on the first day, right? the girls quickly sat down on their seats, as y/n gave fuyuko a smug look that explained that y/n herself was right. fuyuko huffed in frustration, as the teacher went on with the class. it wasn't too bad for the girls, it's just that fuyuko only wished to get out of the class as soon as possible. meaning by that, her constantly eyeing the clock. ann wanted to laugh, but they held back SO HARD. herta was slightly sighing to herself, absolutely tired of the shenanigans the girls always did. while y/n was holding back from wanting to throw her pen to fuyuko in order to signal her to pay attention. though, to fuyuko's relief, after a few hours, the following classes ended and it was pretty much a free period. “girls, its time to go and attend rehearsal.” herta said, as the girls nodded. being already outside of the school.

as the girls started running out, almost like having a race due to ann and fuyuko's competitiveness, y/n only joined for fun. while herta only joined in the so-called race to catch up with ann and fuyuko, and stop them in case they trip and fall down to the ground or something. way worse possibility to that situation, get hurt. what a mom. but as the four girls ran, y/n passed a group of four other people. while running, she slowed down a bit to see the four people's faces. specifically, meeting eyes with a boy with blue starry eyes, same like y/n's. however, due to y/n running, she ran pass the boy and basically stopped. slightly looking back at the corner of her eye.

⎯⎯

a girl, who had ran passed aqua but in that split second, something that felt more than just a split second actually.. he met eyes with her, yet aqua didn't know who that girl was. should he pay that much mind to it? no. it was probably just some random girl that attended to the same school as him, obviously. he stood there, stiff like some laughable doll. “y/n! hurry up!” fuyuko yelled, y/n. that's the girls name? he looked from afar, seeing the girl he met eyes with get a little sidetracked by looking at frill, minami, ruby and him at the corner of her eye. “her name is y/n, huh? hm..” aqua thought, however pushing that inconvenient thought away. “aquamarine?” frill mentioned aqua's name, due to how he seemed to not pay attention to the conversation. aqua looked to frill, “you're from the live action, sweet today, right?” frill asked. y/n looked at the direction where her idol-mates were, as she exclaimed, “I'm coming!” y/n ran off, heading to rehearsal with her idol-mates. but y/n couldn't help but think;

“his name is aquamarine, huh? hm..”

TAGLIST:

@yevene @aranachan @skylightthesimp @unknowncreature13 @larkkyoris @cerisearan @kult-o @lahsram2201 @shira222 @ragazza-whintigale @kat-kaps @miyakoa @merurishi @azriel-sama @lleoll @eth1ria @atomi-mi @nianre @kenma-izhu @opheliapersona @birbtweettweet @coquettemaiden @shadow-otaku20 @clark401 @lumiriai @lxry-chxn

if you'd like to be tagged in the next chapter, please comment on this post! those that is highlighted in blue, cannot be tagged by me.

[lowkeyrobin]

Mid90s gang reacting to reader writing a book about them and their friendship and reader wins a writing contest!!

- ♣️ (I'm giving you fluff okay I've decided I've tortured you enough with angst 🙄)

LMFAO YES YOU HAVE and I've been procrastinating those oneshots you sent me 💀💀

MID90S ; writer

includes ; fuckshit, ray, fourthgrade, ruben (platonic), & stevie (platonic)

warnings ; language, mentions of alcohol and drugs

masterlist

FUCKSHIT

you were no writer what-so-fucking-ever

while high, he dared you to enter some writing contest for school

"how funny would it be if some random junior won?"

honestly it would be funny, considering you're not a writer, you're a skater

you entered just for the fun of it, plus you had a great chance at beating some of the other contestants because you knew their writing was shit

you didn't even know what to write for the first two weeks

then it popped up in your head, like holy shit it was so obvious

you decided to write about yours and fuckshits long friendship history

from how you met, to your nicknames and to your other friends

let's just say, other than the profanity, the judges/senior english teachers loved it

you wrote like a whole motherfucking novel too

you got second place, considering they'd be in trouble for awarding a book with so much inappropriate content with first

plus the person who won first definitely deserved it

teachers were literally suggesting you publish the fuckin thing too like calm down ⁉️⁉️

fuckshit was too lazy to read it at first, but once you told him it was about you two and that you won second place? nah reading that was all he did

I honestly hc that he's a little dyslexic so he was struggling a little bit

but he loved it, it was genuinely moving to him and its literally about him

brought him to tears that he tried to hide

which he did to help his fragile ego by hugging you and hiding his face in your shoulder

genuinley so grateful for you

RAY

you were kinda iffy with writing

but once you saw the amount of money you could get from winning...?

shit sign me up

a thousand dollars to win first off of something you wrote? okay let's go LMAO

you didn't know what to write about because it's not like there was a given prompt so you just kinda spilled out stories and shit about you and ray

you made sure to leave out all the drugs and shit because you weren't gonna try and get in trouble LMAO honestly real

the judges loved it though

it was about 104 pages, so you made the actual like minimum, which was 80 pages

but thankfully for you, quantity doesn't equal quality

you actually got third surprisingly

that's still 400 dollars though

you didn't actually tell Ray or the others about you joining that contest so when you walked in with 400 dollars, a smile on your face and your skateboard and 52 sheets of notebook paper connected by a keyring under your arm, damn

you quickly explained and set your stuff down and Ray just scooped you up and spun you around while he hugged you

he's a simpleton but you got him giggling and shit okay??

genuinley so flustered that you wrote about you and him of all people like huh

he reads it front to back at least 3 times

FOURTHGRADE

you were pretty passionate about writing

so when your school was promoting a novel contest you knew you had to join

a thousand dollars would've done you a lot

you spent the next six months writing about you and fourthgrade, stories, how you met, favorite memories, random blurbs, etcetera

you told him about it but never that you were writing about him

you wanted it to be a surprise lmao

i also hc that he's a little dyslexic so 💀

you actually won too

apparently it was so "inspiring and moving amongst the youths" that you won ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS for it, IN CASH

you sprinted over to Motorz and immediately wrapped fourthgrade in a hug

"thanks for being such great inspiration"

"huh?"

you genuinley just retold some of his camcorder tapes for a bit of the book too so you had to give him some credit

you gave him 200 dollars because he refused to take any more

the duo

RUBEN

bro couldn't care less that you joined a writing competition

"whatever you want"

you have the annoying sibling dynamic what can I say

"dude I'll give you 100 bucks if you just be supportive"

"fine"

you wrote about him and your awesome sibling relationship

you made sure to cut out all the abuse and just say "growing up in a rough household" and "growing up not as privileged as everyone else" and shit bc you weren't getting cps called on anyone

you wrote like 70 pages

you got third

but you got 200 dollars so you basically split it with him

he ended up reading it because he was bored at motorz one night and you left it laying around

he's never smiled while crying before

you come in the next morning and he just silently hugs you

you see the book thing on the couch where he slept and you just kinda knew

"why are you crying?"

"i'm not!"

STEVIE

you also have a very sibling like dynamic

although instead of annoying each other you're kind of the comfort siblings you've both never had

so when you brought up the fact you joined a writing competition because you had a good chance at winning, he was like "oh cool"

"i'm writing about you"

"what the fuck why?"

he's supportive tho

he'll ask how it's going and stuff and you'll just give a vague answer

by the time they're due and judged, he asks what you placed

you shrug and pull out a thousand dollars cash from your backpack with a smile

"holy shit!"

you smile and hand him half of it

he's confused as to why but accepts it graciously

I mean half of its about him so he deserves some credit

gives you a little hug and shit

[saylor-twift]

greetings sae ~

decided to stop by to send in a sappy ask :)

happy new year saylor 🤍 i feel like if i bring up your fic now i am literally going forget sending my regards to you so i'll simply get over that real quick by saying i wish you the very best with 2024! i have seen ( cough read through every single one cough ) of the fics you published on your blog and i am on my fucking knees anyways

now of course, i want to thank you for the kind words you sent to me a month ago along with your request <3 when i tell you i genuinely teared up when i saw your ask only for the happy tears to disappear so quickly when i saw your request because the idea just resonated with me so deeply that i had to write as an expression of gratitude and for fun as well! and the fault falls on me for taking so long with it because i had a little bit of an issue ( not being as satisfied with the first two times i wrote it ) hence i took so long with it ;; i am deeply sorry, but worry not for the third of january shall be the day i spoil you /real

now my apologies aside, happy new year once again bub! 🤍 i wish you the very best with everything you'll be facing during the year and remember to take care, treat yourself to many nice things to your heart's content and of course be safe ~

— signed, ayame.

awwww listen when i tell you this just made my whole day!! i seriously feel so honored that you enjoy my fics so much, i honestly wrote them all on a whim whenever i get bursts of inspiration so im really pleased to hear that people actually enjoy them :))

2023 was a wild ride of emotions hence it being my first year of highschool and a whole bunch of shit went down, but i have a really good feeling about this next year, im already in a much better place than i was a year ago lmfao. Anyways, I hope 2024 for you (and anyone else who reads this) is filled with nothing but happiness and laughter and growth and whatever else you may wish for. And Ayame as much as I am beyond excited for your works to come out (not just the request but also the Kabukimono fic!!!), I cannot blame you one single bit, not when I have quite the reputation for procrastinating and taking forever on things. (Not that I’m saying you’re procrastinating, I know you’ve been working very hard). I’m really sorry to hear about your health problems and such, I can’t imagine how hard that is. Like I said before, I have a good feeling about this upcoming year and I hope it treats you well. Thank you so much for being a friend Ayame, and happy new year to all!!

(p.s please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you wanna chat! I love making friends)

[thechaoscryptid]

60-69 for the fanfic writer ask

(curious about my fic habits?)

Joey it's always a PLEASURE to have you in my inbox 🥰

60. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

Yes!! I'd literally just gotten done reading their fic and leaving a long comment when their name popped up in my inbox - we'd both been reading each other's stuff at the same time. We actually hit it off outside of AO3 and while we don't talk a lot, it's always a quality conversation when we do.

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

Because I can't shut up and unfortunately keep unearthing things I have to process lmfao

62. Thoughts on cliffhangers?

Ehhhhhhhhhh I can take em or leave em usually. If they're done well, I really enjoy them! On the other hand, I am usually a binge reader and the abrupt stop can be a little disorienting.

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

HHHHH okay so this is a recent bugbear and sorry @ BG3 writers I love you all very much but "inappropriate use of grease spell" because grease makes me think of nasty restaurant fryer oil and it just takes me immediately out of a porny mood sorry

64. Something you love to see in smut.

Explicit consent that's not ye olde "I consent/I consent" talk, gods!! There are so many ways to express a "hell yeah" without sounding like a wannabe lawyer and I eat that shit up. Little looks? Nods? A second's hesitation and eye contact before going for it? Sign me the fuck up I'll take twenty

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

My fantasy novel, The Ashen Earth! It's my project for after I'm finished with my self-imposed writing break this month. I've been gnawing on its bones for aaaaaaages now and I finally feel like I have a good enough handle on my skills and the plot to really dive in.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

Procrastination 😂 Deadlines are rough but manageable for me, and I can usually hit them unless depression/burnout/illness hits me first. Negative comments and pressure to update? I get real cunty in a friend's DMs about it before saying a kind "no <3" in public (the exception is when a friend comes @ me with "hey, update, I have a mighty need" - I'll usually bend over backwards to finish something if I know I have a dedicated reader who I can ask for specific feedback)

67. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

Both have their merits! Honestly I prefer working on both at the same time - prompts/challenges give me some constraint, and working within those leaves some other part of my brain open for better independent ideas.

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Music! My inspiration comes from literally everywhere and anywhere, but music most consistently. I love songs with lyrics, I love instrumental songs I have to tease a story out oof.

69. What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

I actually had to think on this one and I don't believe I'm embarrassed about any existing. There are a few I'm embarrassed about existing in their current form, because I could do them more justice with my current skills, but they're not embarrassing just for being there.

[monoton-e]

lovely little update:

i'm doing pretty good, all things considered. i'm actually learning how to drive behind the wheel, continuing transitioning my diet to foods that better serve me and my health, actually cleaning my room (I have never had a room be 100% clean. Always boxes here bags there, temporary tidy, so uh, this is HUGE for me. Just need to downsize my clothes and deal with a SINGLE box of old mail and paperwork. Woo), hell, decorate my room for the first time ever too (I've been living with blank off white walls ever since I've had my own room so it feels weird), listening to more music, cut off some people I thought were friends simply because we were in the same guild and not because of anything genuine, and stuff. Im shit at school, I realize. I dont know how to study. Also I procrastinate everything, really really bad. I started playing guitar again and I plan to start drawing again; it's been too long. My situationship remains as is, a situationship but honestly, its like a fwb but the benefits are emotional LMFAO well, there *is* some actual fwb but its all online which is a okay with me. Honestly a solid support friend, and I've gotten much closer to 2 other friends recently too. Its nice seeing people being genuine in their interactions with me simply because they want to be around me. I'm on the fence over one friendship, we call eachother besties because of how much we've gone through together, but they don't understand that I want nothing romantic with them, not even my normal everyday soft fluff affection I give to my friends normally. I've been distancing myself because its all I really can do. My relationship with my sister is still shit but we're taking it a day at a time. My parents and I are on better terms, but also tense in its own way because of financial tensions. I dont talk to my niece as much, but we still send eachother memes. Same with my bro. Thats really it. Oh, and my cat is still here, follows me around more often lately and likes to take naps on his tree and my room when its cold.

I'm doing good, still depressed and mentally and emotionally *shxt* but I'm good. Vitamin water is lit. So is sourdough toasted with a bit of honey on it. Lavender earl grey tea with a spoonful of shite sugar and a dash of milk is delicious. I miss the feeling of my skin being hydrated by simply existing outside like it was in LA. I am lonely as I dont have anyone out here in ABQ to call a friend and to spend time together but it is what it is. I feel more truthful and honest and more.. sincere? I dunno, I normally am but this time I dont really make an effort to fake it or try to people please anymore. Its been interesting.

I'm taking 2 classes and failing them rn (statistics and english). I haven't worked since November.

I'm struggling so much. Some days, the smallest thing will make me cry. Oh yeah, I'm a big ol crybaby these days. I'm sensitive af (not new) but I've been just feeling things out as long as I need to. Its not really good or bad, nor helpful really, but its nice to just let it out, exist, and listen to music.

I found my meds (been off for a few months b/c I lost them and lost the will to take em) but I took my first pill in a long time today. And yeah. Now thats it.

Thanks for reading, maybe I'll have more to say in terms of accomplishments next update, we'll see

[atlemist]

bon appétit

[relighthatspark]

rip i was making this dumb post and then my laptop crashed akshgskfdj but oops friday was this blog's one year anniversary heehee 🤪

[max--phillips]

Ok, I have a kinda funny story on figuring out how to get the Mos Eisley Cantina Lego set. I still want the monster Millennium Falcon. But aside from the price, I have nowhere to keep it as I build it or when I'm done with it. So setting the Cantina as my goal for now.

I'm a weird procrastinator. I do things that people don't like to do to begin with to avoid doing something else. Lately I've been procrastinating writing. Like I figured out all my taxes instead of writing. You know, super exciting stuff. But now that they're filed, I needed something else.

So I downloaded spreadsheets to keep track of my budget every month. After doing what I could so far, I started figuring out savings. I figured out that if I save $8 a week, I'll be able to afford it by the end of the year. Possibly sooner if I add extra after budgeting for a given month. So now I'm over here like

Hell yeah dude!!!!!!!! It’s an awesome set :0 100% recommend it I believe in u

But yeah I relate lmfao sometimes it do be like that. I’ll clean stuff to procrastinate and I hAte cleaning lmfao

[milktyama]

karasuno boys on first dates pt.2

part 1

a/n: idk about yall but this pandemic making me feel extra lonely </3 LIKE I CAN’T EVEN HUG MY OWN FRIENDS FFFFFF. sucks being a physical person during this time. i’m also procrastinating from math homework, words make more sense than numbers

genre: fluff, lighthearted, g!n s/o, kinda?? cliche??

includes: tanaka, sugawara, asahi, daichi

wc: 1489

tanaka ryunosuke

he is the type to bring you to a movie date

classic and simple

he wants to recreate that oh so romantic moment of casually laying his arm over your shoulder and bring you slightly closer together

maybe if he wants to get a little spicy have you lay your head on his shoulder

but let’s move a few steps back to the asking out part

oh dear god

this man, although he is a mad gentleman, cannot handle feelings for the life of him

and in all honesty, probably took him a little far too long to ask you out

he had this whole scenario out of a movie in his head, all the vibes of a protagonist; boy meets girls moment

and the second he musters his courage and walk up to you during the end of the day, he freezes up

needed ennoshita to give you that sweet insight so you made the first move yourself or it would’ve taken a solid month or two before he could manage to greet you and start some small talk

he does not deal with feelings too well

fast forward to the date

he suggests a a rather romantic movie since he is kinda that type of guy

but you were feeling rather active today and suggests an action movie

and honestly he couldn’t thank you more because although he’s a hopeless romantic, probably could not stand a 2 hour romance movie

he doesn’t like to be called out by a movie </3

anyways, remember that movie scenario in his head? yea that’s out of the question

for one, you two were too hype during the movie; something about superheroes kicking ass is just oh so exciting

secondly, he was wimping out a little

at the end of the movie, you just, shine the brightest smile he has ever seen on you

and oh baby does he feel so HONOURED to be the cause of that smile

but the next thing you do absolutely makes his heart swell

you ask him for a second date

we did it gamers

quite ironically you guys go on a arcade game for your second date, and this mans does not give you an easy time, but you just love that competitiveness in him

sugawara koushi

starting at the beginning, he asks you out

he keeps it simple and straightforward

calls you out right before you exit school buildings, and asks you if you wanna watch practice because he’s obviously trying to woo you a little before his nerve wrecking question

and you gladly agree

i mean who can say no to mr. refreshing sugawara koushi

when he walks through the gym doors and the members seeing you walk right behind him, they would totally kinda misread the situation

i mean no questions asked when it comes to the boys having some insight to the setter’s feelings, however they were just a few steps too forward

saddest part it was DAICHI himself who went “woahh suga you already asked her out? good job man!”

his soul never left his body as fast as that time

like his boys really ruined that one time he wanted to go perfect

but it’s fine

because although you two were in a little of a blushing mess, you lightly grip his sleeve and murmured the cutest “i’m free on saturday afternoon”

saying that he short circuited is honestly an understatement

saturday rolls around and you two unanimously agreed to baking class date

it’s just a really fun and interactive date idea and suga is so in for activity dates

even though you two knew it was gonna get a little messy, yall SIMPS still put on some of your fav outfits

it was so worth it though ‘cause suga’s reaction to your outfit was just all you needed in the world

the date is really fun and playful

totally not at you two flouring each other haha nooo....

he walks you home just before you two part ways, his bold little butt places his hand on top of your head, pecks your forehead and gives you the widest smile

“pottery painting next?”

azumane asahi

asahi is a simple and shy man

i’m pretty sure that’s the obvious

and he would def opt for a simple, at home date

of course only if the other party is comfortable enough for that

don’t get me started at how he asked you

asahi is such a baby and probably has so much trouble with expressing his emotions on the whim/real time

he’ll probably go for a love letter (damn cheesey) just in case he messes up his wording and turns into a blabbering mess trying to make up for the previous mistake

i can imagine his love lever being just the most aesthetically pleasing

like homeboy pulled one of those scrapbooking, journaling people on instagram

plus points he did a wax seal thing (so fancy oml)

most likely put in your locker and then just RAN out of the place like usain bolt

and for the cherry on top, you would return a letter with the same amount of effort (probably not as pretty as his tho LMFAO) accepting his little date uwu

when the date comes, he would set up and clean his house to the tip top utmost cleanliness it could be

at his house, you two would probably watch some movies, play some board games, bake a little and so on

but the highlight of the date is when while watching your like 3rd movie, you doze off into asahi’s shoulder and boy you should’ve seen his FACE

so read and so cute

*insert pleading eyes emoji x2000*

he would gently stroke your hair, careful trying not to wake you up

but unfortunately for him you are a light sleeper

so you would wake up but allow him to run his fingers through your hair

and then when you decide to wake wake up, you tell him that when he strokes your head feels so nice and makes you feel safe AIJFSOLDKRG

and you ask him if you can do the same to him or try styling his hair

and how could he say no to you?

you two spend hours playing with each other’s hair (or only his if you have short hair)

oh and you took so any adorable pictures of him

he got so flustered but it was fine if it was you

sawamura daichi

as a man with the biggest appetite in the series, no surprise that daichi would bring you to a local restaurant for a little date

daichi is also a confident man

so he would puff his chest and put the effort to approach you

though as confident as i make him out to be, there’s still light pink dusted on the apples of his cheeks and hand awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as he makes eye contact with you

he’ll have you watch their practice and right after you two would make your to his favorite local restaurant for dinner

also during practice the third and second years would NOT give their captain a break while the first years are probably either too confused or don’t care (COUGH COUGH TSUKISHIMA)

anyways after practice and walking to the place is literally so perfect because sun in setting and the atmosphere is so romantic

you two probably walk right beside each other and making small talk when daichi is hinting that he wants to hold you hand by brushes that back of your hands together often

BUT YOU’RE PROBABLY SO SHY THAT EVERYTIME IS HAPPENS YOU JUST BLUSH AND APOLOGIZE AND EVENTUALLY U PUT YOUR HAND INSIDE YOUR BLAZER POCKET?????

HONEY YOU CAN ONLY BE SO  D E N S E

n e ways

knowing daichi, he probably goes to this restaurant very often and knows the menu like the back of his hand

so he would ask you for your preferences and then give you his recommendations based on that

he just wants to make sure you will enjoy your meal to the fullest

as a regular, he is also well acquainted with the restaurant owner

so like when mr. restaurant owner sees daichi walk in with another person while sporting a very clear blush on his face, he KNOWS something is up

while serving your orders, he was being sNEAKY by giving yall a freebie

and it turns out to be like the couple special

like those very pretty sparkly milkshakes with one of those straws that has two sides to it branching out

and like he refuse to serve yall other drinks FAGKFHJADH so you two had to with the milkshake and like oopsie moment when you two decide to go for it at the same time

the restaurant owner DEF took a pick of that exact moment and gave it to daichi as a gift AHAHAH

[bellamyblakru]

6, 9, 17 ily💖

omg ilyy more🥺💖💖💖i apologize in advance how long and surprising sappy i got?? thank you for letting me rant at you. this has been a highlight of my day🥺❤️

long answer asks, care to help me procrastinate?

6. Describe one of your favorite people.

omg only one?? hmm okay. so this person (my momma) is one of the absolute best human beings in the entire fucking world. she is my rock, my person. she is the light in my dark, dragging me above the water when im drowning, since the minute i was born. okay i may be crying writing this (can we blame the late time and how long ive been awake?) but she is just so so important to me and to who i am as a person. so, ill put this in perspective. in 2015, my nephew (who is my best friend in the entire world and i would die for him without hesitation) was born, and my older sister (his mother) lived with us for the first six months of his life. and by “us” i mean, me, my other sister, my brother, and my parents (that makes a total of 7 people in this house). and these six months was probably the one of the best times of my life since my nephew came into the world bringing my eldest sister and i closer (because our seven year age difference, we were never that close beforehand), my family was all home and safe and happy—but, most importantly, we were all together and nothing else really matters as long as my family is by my side. however, after six months, my eldest sister and nephew moved out, my other older sister went to college, my older brother went into the navy, and a few weeks later, my dad had to go to virginia without us to get my residency for in-state college there. so, that left my mom and i. my mom and i were always close, but something about facing everyone leaving at once together just clicked something and she became my best friend. my mom, before this, was always my number one supporter, she constantly help me with my battles facing my severe social anxiety in school, and she raised me to be strong, happy, and loving. my mom and i spent about two years alone in this house that i grew up in since i was five years old, and that solidified our relationship. she is my favorite human being. we have so many similar traits and mannerisms, and my sister even says at this point we sound the same LOL. i just love her so fucking much and i literally would not be here today without her in my life.

9. Talk about your favourite historical period

okay now im crying over answer 6 fluffy LOL i would say i have a few favorite history periods because i am a ✨nerd✨and i like shit like this😂 so, because of outlander, i have to say right now that early 1700s is pretty fab simply because of the dresses that ive been watching claire wear😩👌🏻gorgeous man. when learning history in school, i would alwayss take a side, right? so, for example, in the early 1800s when America is building the shitty foundation we have now, you had two sides: Hamilton versus Thomas Jefferson (i call him TJ because my ap american teacher did amskaak). now, hamilton was my dude and i picked his side (federalist papers, starting america’s banks, siding with the english, stopping slavery blahblah all that jazz) and i thought tj was annoying 😂 like this is how i remember so much when i take these types of classes LOL i just put myself there and think “if i was forced to, who would i side with?” and bam, you remember who tf is who and when. LIKE LMFAO OKAY so in 1835, Andrew Jackson was president, and america called him “king jackson” because of the fucking horrendous way he dictated everything (he also was horrible because of the trail of tears but that’s another story) BUT i remember him so clearly because he was so fucking petty that it, honest to god, made me laugh my ass off when i was reading. this white dude was from the south, like everyone else who was in charge back then, was so fucking pissed that the southern states were thinking about splitting off from the US that he took back a bill that helped them (even though that he was all pro-helping out where he was born and originally wanted this bill for them bc ‘pride’ shit) just out of spite for them even thinking about seceding (they were angry over some tax shit like always). he also threatened them with military force if they kept it up and idk,,, that always tickled me because he was such an petty asshole lmfaooo

17. Whats your favourite city and why?

i haven’t been to too many cities tbh!! i did go to new orleans once but i had my period, had a panic attack, and it smelled like piss🤔 LOL i will say that Norfolk (VA) is very pretty and near the water and i really enjoy it there🥺 this answer is so short compared to the other two omg im so sorry lksoakaka

[solyankapal]

so more than two whole months after I had to go to the hospital because a vaginal polyp (didn’t know what it was when it happened) came temporarily poking out of my entrance causing a lot of bleeding and me getting to know I should get a small surgery to remove it that I Finally got over myself to call various places for appointments, got one with a very well rated gynecologist for beginning of may and a surgery date towards the end of may already (got my birthday sandwiched between those appointments ahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) I haven’t been to a gynecologist in around 8 years partly because of my constant procrastination on medical issues as well as my last gyno who replaced my previous one when I was 18 or 19 being a condescending fucker who actually imitated what I was saying in a mocking voice to disregard completely regular questions I asked lmfao I was very relieved to see she doesn’t appear to be working anymore

I’ve never gotten or put anything up my entrance and I’ve never been under a full narcosis so the idea of having a camera shoved up there and as well as getting the polyp scraped out is severely distressing to say the least.....the muscle relaxants I’ll get will absolutely make that procedure possible without problem and it’s apparently a really small, commonplace and incredibly simple surgery but god does it make me feel physical sickness inducing dysphoria and anxiety to the MAXXXX :’)))))

anyway I’m soooooooo damn proud of myself for making these calls and getting the ball rolling augh I’ll finally get treated for what most likely is endometriosis and maybe one day I’ll even get this cringe uterus of mine removed completely weeeEEEE

[antpernas]

12/26/20

Fun day!!

So, we ended up waking up around 8:00 or so, got ready and started heading out at about 8:30. We hugged goodbye in the parking lot and went our ways!

Before I got home, I decided to stop at Guitar Center to buy myself a mini keyboard! I’d been meaning to get one to play/practice/analyze music on the go, but I’d never looked into it until now. I had to wait outside the shop until they opened, which was a few minutes, but it was so worth it! I got a cute little inverse color keyboard, and it was way more affordable than I was expecting. I wanted to also head to a piercing shop to ask about ordering some custom jewelry, but none of the shops opened for another hour, so I just told myself I’d do it another day.

When I got home, my family was having breakfast, so I joined in. I started fiddling around with the new keyboard and the music program that comes with it. I don’t know about music production, but this seems like a good first step! I honestly only wanted the keyboard for music theory and improv purposes, but it’s fun to fiddle around with looping and stuff! I did that for about an hour or so before I told myself to get to the other things I told myself I’d do when I’d got home.

I was hoping to go on a date with a boy this day, but I never got a response so I assumed he was flaking again (IN REALITY, I just never saw him respond, which I now feel HORRIBLEEE about but hopefully we can move past this LMFAO). I ended up just chilling at home for a bit, and then heading to a hookup later in the day! It was my first hookup in a while, and my first time topping in a few months, but it went pretty well! I’m going to try to get back into onlyfans again, this time as a top. If it goes better for me, then I’ll stick to making videos, but otherwise I’m just deactivating that and ending that chapter.

After my hookup, I stopped at a thrift store and got a fuckton of cute clothes. I got a pair of pants, some new button ups, two jackets (one of them for kayaking), and some suspenders! There were some cute mugs too, but my mom didn’t want them since only one of them was green. After perusing a bit more, I settled on the clothes I wanted and checked out. A pleasant surprise for me was that they were having a holiday sale, and everything was half off! It was already cheap to begin with, but getting it bumped down from $40 to $20 was even better! I’m super happy about the purchase!

When I got home, I knocked out. When I woke up around 2:00, I started some laundry. I was pretty hungry too, so I went to the kitchen and made myself some pasta and meatballs. After I finished that, I procrastinated showering for a while and played some piano instead. I also texted my favorite Brazilian boy, which was absolutely amazing since we haven’t chatted in a while, which is my fault! I honestly forget how much I like him until each time we talk again. If only I lived in Brazil!!

Eventually, I finally got off my ass and showered. After that, I washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen while finished up my last load of laundry, since we were going to have company over for my dad’s birthday later. I put in my last load to dry, then I knocked out around 6:00.

[bridgesoverrivers]

hi matt.. or mace.. idk what u want to be called rn or how long itll last but this is just for u to look back on because u dont know how to discuss ur actual feelings so u turn to the void, yet again

instagram is so depressing and so is just about every social media ive cycled through at this point.

ive made several break throughs within my layers of thoughts and also thought loops that i dont know how to quite get out of .. that being said i have made an amazing progress on realising that ive successfully lived alone for 6 months despite dramas with friends, family, friends again, along side mental health and health ontop of it all. living in my apartment can be so depressing sometimes.. its so quiet idk what to do with myself but ive gotten the hang of just doing stuff to stay busy without it becoming excessive or compulsive and it’s really nice tbh.

i need to spend more time writing so that i can actually manage to write an essay to cater for my autistic ass which im so confused about because my cognitive function has significantly reduced and i kinds feel like im in the awkward lost period again; where i cant show affection or think actual thoughts and im just talking random shit 24/7 to fill some void or something.

I got a rat 2 days ago (7/1/21.. ironic lol) , his name is Seven and hes about 6-8 weeks old and hes a total sweetheart so far!! hes very friendly and is starting to enjoy pats and company more and more every time we hang out. he likes my big hoodie that i converted into a slipknot hoodie which i am yet to sew so i can wash it n shit.

I have so many art project ideas im yet to fulfill like making music with chloe, drawing on a bunch of clothes i wanna diy and make cool with black and white patches n shit, make a tattoo flash so i can finally fucking start doing cool things but i keep on procrastinating buying needles/ink/stencils for like what the past 4 years

um my allergies or whatever the fuck it is gets so weird like im literally kinda fucking confused but i need to see an allergist which ive also procrastinated for 2 years.. i might have fucky lymphnodes or some shit to explain why my body hates everything i eat mayhaps but like ummmmmmmmm also got diagnosed with bipolar 2 which im like what noo im fineee but also like bro yeah legit spot on lmfao cause i get real fucking caught up in my thought loops and social habits i dont even realise that “self awareness” is probably the most nonchalant i am cause im probably like kinda manic and my brains just doing some stanky leg spiel shit where im on such a high from it i dont realise its just the bigger picture of it and im not addressing problems or knowing they exist.

but hey, while im in the neutral state or just one of the inbetweens where im still just me and im just vibin and i can be conscious of feelings/actions/environment  and i just get really adhd and super lost in time instead is p good.

i finally feel like my interests are back or a will to have any because god i exist for everything i used to be but that doesnt rlly exist anymore and in 2020 i became a bit of a shell but like 1 step at a time i can get back into it like bruh watching shows or movies wasnt on the agenda for like 2 years thats so friggin long but its finally over and im really looking forward to creating so many cool great things as i grow up and into what really is starting to feel like adulthood;;;; even if everything i fucking do becomes more and more apparent that my brain is abit special and i dont understand alot of shit or do anything abt shit but it is so gucci i am simply travelling through time trying to understand my individuality and perpetual ^   this    ^ shits kinda inevitable but i just have to literally fuckn live love laugh cause fuck u and ur mum lol

i hope one day when u read this u find this as good reflection and u get the hang of some things that seem so far away and out of reach.. youll get there whatever that vision is man :) <3