#I recommend reading it since I did skip over a lot

[delulujuls]

birds of a feather | joost klein

hi, its me again. i know its been a hot minute since i posted here but literally i have no idea when the past month left.

anyway, im alive and i finally got a chance to write something, so here it is. its nothing that i used to post here i guess, but i it means a lot to me. while writing this i remembered all of those dark days that i managed to survive. and i guess, joost himself did too.

please, if you struggle with mental health or you just dont feel good at that moment, i do not recommend to read this. feel free to text me if you need to talk to someone.

remember that you are not alone. you can get trough everything as long as you have you.

je bent sterker dan je denkt

summary: joost is struggling with his mental health, but so do reader. but together its a bit easier to go through storm and its even better to look at the rainbow with someone dear by your side.

warnings: struggling with depression, ed, parents loss

pairing: fem!bff!reader x joost klein

Snow fell throughout the night, so the next morning, all of Leeuwarden woke up under a heavy, white blanket.

However, some didn’t get the chance to wake up because they hadn’t managed to close their eyes at all. One of those people was a girl laying down with open eyes in her dark room.

Despite having no desire, motivation, or strength, after a while she sat up in bed more than an hour before her alarm was set to go off. She wrapped herself in the blanket and closed her aching eyes. It felt as if someone had poured two bags of sand under her eyelids.

Her room was in complete darkness, with only the warm, yellow light from a streetlamp filtering in through the uncovered window. The whole house was silent, and nothing outside suggested that anyone else existed in the world but her. She could hear her tear-stuck eyelashes pulling apart with each blink.

She sighed heavily and rubbed her face with her hands before finally getting out of bed. She couldn’t afford to skip class; she had already accumulated too many absences recently. The last thing she wanted was to deal with her teacher, who kept repeating the same thing over and over— that she should talk to her parents, that she would call in a psychologist. Just let me live, woman, she thought. Or better yet, let me die.

With a soft groan of displeasure, the girl pulled off her warm sweats and quickly put on an uncomfortably cold shirt and hoodie. The jeans she put on were also unpleasantly cold and stiff. The chill around her cut to the bone.

When she went to the bathroom and turned on the light, she squinted with a grimace. She shuffled over to the mirror and looked at her reflection. Nothing surprising stared back at her. Puffy, red eyes from crying, chapped lips, and skin irritated from a runny nose. She sighed and looked down, tying up her hair and turning on the tap, trying to make herself somewhat presentable.

When she finished, she didn’t look much better. The last thing she felt like doing was putting on makeup. A shower from the previous evening was the best she could manage. Before going downstairs, she grabbed her backpack and phone, glancing at the screen. Beside the clock, it was empty. Worried that maybe WhatsApp had failed, she opened the app and clicked on her last conversation. Joost hadn’t replied to her messages since the night before. She sighed and shoved the phone into her pocket. She knew she wouldn’t go straight home after class.

Not feeling like eating breakfast, she simply put on her shoes, jacket, and left the house. It was even colder outside, so she pulled her hood over her head and wrapped herself in a scarf. She couldn’t wear gloves—how else would she change songs, she thought, putting her tangled earphones in.

Even more snow had fallen than it seemed when looking out the window. It was still early, so the streets were covered in snow. The walk to the bus stop was exhausting. When she finally reached it, she realized she still had plenty of time to spare. She reached into her pocket, pulled out a pack of cigarettes, lit one, and took a drag. She pulled out her phone from the other pocket, changed the song, and opened her conversation with Joost again. Nothing had changed.

you could at least read my messages. that way, id know if you were alive 06:50

She typed with frozen fingers, holding the cigarette between her lips. The girl exhaled the smoke and sent the message, glancing at the cracked screen of her phone with faint hope. Nothing.

The phone that received the message vibrated on the bed. Its owner, however, wasn’t there but on the floor. Joost lay on the ground, staring at the ceiling. He tried to focus on breathing. Only on breathing. Only on surviving.

He had no idea what time it was, how long he had been lying there. Had he made it through the night, or was it still yesterday, or maybe already tomorrow? On both sides of his head were small, wet spots from the tears that had spilled from his heavy eyelids. He was like a defeated, fallen Gulliver, his tears carving out lakes.

He didn’t feel the cold, didn’t feel the pain in his back. He didn’t feel how badly his head hurt from crying or the emptiness in his stomach. He couldn’t remember when he last ate something warm, despite his sister and brother's urging, when he last took a shower, or held his phone. When was the last time he actually spoke to someone? A few hours ago? Or last month?

If looks could drill holes, there would already be a small but precise one in his ceiling. Only when he heard a knock on the door did he snap out of it. It was morning, and his room was filled with light. He had survived the night.

“I’m heading to work, want a ride to school?” his sister’s voice came from behind the door.

It took him about five seconds to remember how his vocal cords worked.

“No, I’ll manage.”

“Are you planning to stay home?”

Silence. On both sides of the door.

“I don’t want to have your school on my back, okay? You’ll go back to class after the weekend.”

Joost sighed in relief, closing his eyes.

“Thanks, really.”

“There’s breakfast on the table,” he heard her footsteps fade away. “Eat something!”

At that moment, he regained consciousness. With great effort, he managed to sit up and lean his back against the bed. He rubbed his face with his hands and clenched his fists in his hair. After a moment, he sighed and looked ahead. The clock on the bedside table showed a few minutes before eight. He hadn’t even heard whether his brother had returned from the night shift. It was as if he’d been in a trance all night, focused only on the passing seconds, taking minute by minute, hour by hour.

When he managed to climb back into bed, he pressed his cheek against the cold pillow and instinctively reached for the phone lying nearby. In the flood of notifications, he noticed more than ten messages from his friend. He felt a pang of guilt.

He swiped and entered their conversation.

you know we can always talk. you dont have to deal with this all on your own 00:21

i know. thanks 00:46

That was the last message he had replied to.

apparently you dont know, because youre doing it again 00:54

you always shut yourself off and dont let anyone in. why cant you understand that you matter to someone? 00:55

you act like youre deliberately torturing yourself, like you purposely want to take on all the fucking pain and show that only you are suffering. surprise, youre not the only one 01:00

im sorry. i didnt mean it like that. its just been hard for me too lately, and im worried about you. i didnt want to say that. im sorry.. 01:12

i want to help you, but i dont know how. how am i supposed to do that if you wont let me? 01:18

i cant imagine losing you, do you understand? 01:19

for fucks sake, theyd bury us together. i couldnt make it without you 01:20

let me help you, please. or at least dont shut me out 04:29

im worried, joost. please reply 13:54

Missed calls x7

you could at least read my messages. as it is, i dont even know if youre alive 06:50

im alive. im sorry 08:01

He replied, staring at the screen. He read her messages several times. He knew he could rely on her, that he mattered to her. But on the other hand, he couldn’t accept it. Him? Someone cared about him? Hey, wasn’t he just the funny, slightly chubby kid who always told silly jokes and made everyone laugh? That he had problems? What kind of problems could a teenager like him have?

She, however, knew that Joost had been through a lot. Losing his parents year after year can break anyone, let alone someone like him. Since she had met him in high school, Joost had always seemed like an extrovert, the center of attention, telling the funniest jokes with his booming voice. But beneath the surface, which he had built himself, lay an incredibly sensitive boy with a big heart. He was the kind of person children smiled at, and dogs ran up to for a pet.

Joost was like a gentle giant. He could pretend that nothing bothered him, that dumb jokes or words thrown around in laughter didn’t hurt. But every one of those words or situations lodged itself tightly in his mind like a pack of rats that couldn’t be driven out for anything. It was as if his body lacked the receptors for anger or aggression. He wished everyone he knew well, but the feeling wasn’t always mutual.

When he was younger, not long after his parents died, he was often mocked for being an orphan. The mean comments and jabs were so hurtful that he stopped attending classes. When someone pointed out that he seemed to have put on a bit of weight recently, he went a week eating nothing but apples, drinking water and smoking cigarettes.

Now, even though some time had passed since then, and he had been through several rounds of therapy, he still had periods like this. When all he wanted was to be alone and let the cold embrace of sadness surround him. To rest his head on the bony shoulder of depression and weep bitterly.

But it wasn’t to be, as he suddenly flinched, hearing something hit his bedroom window. He realized he had lost touch with reality again and had been staring at his phone’s dark screen for who knows how long.

Thinking he had misheard, he settled more comfortably on his pillow.

The girl squeezed the snow harder in her hands, forming a snowball. She took aim and threw it at his window again. When Joost replied to her message, she knew she had to seize the moment. She had skipped the last two classes and immediately went to her friend’s house. She wasn’t leaving until she talked to him.

She took aim again and threw another snowball at the window. This time with success, as moments later, she saw Joost looking out.

He wasn’t sure whether to believe his eyes, but his friend tapped her finger on her wrist, signaling that she had been waiting long enough. The corner of Joost’s mouth involuntarily twitched upwards, and he quickly went to open the door. He knew that if he didn’t, this psycho would keep throwing snowballs until the window broke, and she’d climb in through the tree. He preferred to avoid that.

He unlocked and opened the door, but before he could say anything, she threw herself around his neck and hugged him tightly. She was cold, and her hair smelled like frost, but she was so alive, so different from the bony arms of depression.

“Don’t do that again,” she mumbled, holding him close.

Joost felt all the air trapped in his lungs release as he closed his eyes. He wrapped his arms around his friend, resting his cheek on her head.

"You're letting the cold in," he said after a moment, trying to lighten the mood as the wind blew snowflakes inside. "Come on, get inside."

A few moments later, the two friends were in Joost's room. It was clear that cleaning up was the last thing on his mind. The girl glanced around and silently began picking up the scattered clothes from the floor.

"Please, leave it," Joost groaned, collapsing onto the bed. "I'll do it later."

"If you're not going to help, then go take a shower," she replied, putting the relatively clean clothes back into the closet and setting the dirty ones aside near the door.

"I'll do that later too," he mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands. Only now did he start to feel how utterly exhausted he really was.

"We both know how that will go," she said pointedly, casting a glance his way. He sighed, feeling her gaze on him.

"I'm too tired. I just can't."

The girl hung up his coat and sat next to him. Joost looked at her face. Only now did he notice her puffy, swollen eyes, sunken cheeks despite the rosy flush from the cold, and chapped lips. He recognized the look.

He immediately recalled one of the messages she had sent him. You're not the only one suffering.

"What happened?"

He furrowed his brows and sat up, studying her face carefully. She knew exactly what he meant. Joost saw the same exhaustion in her that she often saw in him.

She sighed and lowered her gaze.

"I haven't been feeling great these past few days. But you probably know what I mean."

This time, it was his turn to lower his gaze. He didn't know what to say.

He didn't need to say anything.

She moved closer and hugged him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Joost desperately hugged her back, holding her in a bear-like grip.

"I'm sorry," he muttered after a while, still holding her. His voice trembled. "I should be supporting you, but instead, I'm just a burden. It's the only thing I'm good at."

"You're not a burden, Joost," she protested, pulling back slightly to look at him, emphasizing her words. "We should be supporting each other. No one else will understand us better than we understand each other. We're in this together."

At some point during her words, two large tears rolled down Joost's cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry," he said, burying his face in his hands, knowing that those two tears were just the beginning. On top of feeling miserable, guilt now added to the weight. It's not that he was unaware of his friend's struggles with mental health—he knew, just as she knew what he was going through. On most days, both of them were cheerful and lively, the life of the party. But sometimes, for a few days, a week, or even two, their light would go out. Depression was a grim lighthouse keeper.

She hugged him again, holding him tightly. Joost clung to her as if she were a lifeline.

"Everything will be okay," she whispered, stroking his hair.

"Everything will be okay," he echoed. "We'll get through this."

They sat there in silence for an undefined amount of time, wrapped in each other's arms.

"I'm not joking about that shower," she said after a while. "I guarantee you'll feel better."

Joost sighed and pulled away from her, nodding. He stood up and went to his closet, grabbing some clean clothes.

"You don't have to clean up, really," he said, glancing at her one last time before reaching for the door handle.

"And wash your hair too," she replied, standing up and continuing to organize his clothes. She looked at him and gave him a small smile, nodding her head to tell him to go and not to worry about the rest.

"Thank you," he returned her smile and went to take a shower.

When he came back, he looked much better. He also felt better. His room no longer resembled a battlefield. Clothes and trash no longer littered the floor, dirty dishes were gone, and the bed was made. But his friend was nowhere to be seen.

Joost peeked out of the door and, hearing movement in the kitchen, went downstairs. His friend was putting dishes into the dishwasher.

"This is probably for you," she said, pointing to some sandwiches wrapped up on the counter.

"I doubt I can eat anything," he replied, glancing apologetically at her. After a moment, he wondered if she had eaten. She also had trouble with eating sometimes. "But I'll eat if you eat with me."

"That won't be enough for us."

"I know, but we can make pancakes."

The girl smiled at his suggestion and nodded.

A few moments later, the kitchen filled with the smell of frying pancakes and the sound of easy conversation. The kind of conversation that, after a storm, offers a glimpse of normalcy. Joost flipped the pancakes while his friend sliced fruit they had found in the fridge. The warm atmosphere began to chase away the heavy clouds.

They weren’t alone. Even when they craved solitude, they weren't isolated. They had each other.

The girl unintentionally glanced at her friend, and noticing his damp bangs falling into his eyes, she pushed them back from his forehead with a gentle hand. Joost smiled at her gesture, unable to help it. She smiled too.

Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone Can't change the weather, might not be forever But if it's forever, it's even better

Neither of them said it aloud that afternoon, but in the quiet corners of their minds, they both thought how grateful they were to have each other.

[artblock-tm]

So! Most of my followers would not have known this (since I didn’t talk about it on this account), but I’ve been reading the Irish poem The Pursuit of Diarmuid and Gráinne. I just finished it recently, and wanted to share some personal highlights:

-Fionn exhibits SERIOUS maidenless behavior

-I’m still floored that Gráinne put the taboo on Diarmuid right in front of the rest of the Fianna. And the Fianna had to go “sorry bro better do what she says….yeah we’ll miss you good luck bro.”

-It’s so funny that Oísin and Oscar are both seriously against Fionn’s bullshit but are dragged into it anyways

-Fionn somehow keeps finding the STUPIDEST MOTHERFUCKERS to go try and kill Diarmuid. Diarmuid killed 150 people in the span of 3 days by going, “Hey, wanna see a cool trick?” and doing some stunt and each day 50 men died trying to replicate that stunt.

-The. The berry plotline.

-The whole poem emphasized that Diarmuid would never so much as look at Gráinne the wrong way. And then at one point she just randomly drops the bombshell that she’s heavily pregnant. With Diarmuid’s kid. They fucked and there was no mention of it.

-The fact that a group of knights, in attempting to clear their beef with Fionn, gave Fionn some berries and be like “we picked these :) too bad we didn’t see that Diarmuid guy though” and Fionn’s response was “I call BULLSHIT. I can smell Diarmuid’s skin on those berries.” (It’s likely that they, too, have fucked in the past.)

-The fact that Diarmuid was fucking with the chess game between Fionn and Oísin??? Just so Fionn would lose??? And then kissing Gráinne after he was caught??? It’s so petty I love it.

-Skipping to the part where all is forgiven. Apparently the whole thing takes place over 16 years. Which makes a bit more sense with the pregnancy thing but I still feel like there was some character development we skipped over.

-It’s sooo much fun to read about your Irish mythology blorbo after being brutally gored and disemboweled by a boar suffering and about to die while Fionn insults him </3

-Thank goodness Oísin was there to talk shit at his dad for not giving Diarmuid the water! But Diarmuid still died :(

-Gráinne hoping she can mourn her lover but Angus goes “Nope. I’m taking his body off to fairyland so I can bring him back to life every day so we can chat.” And he did. And she had no say in it.

-The ending, unfortunately, was really anticlimactic. Gráinne hyped up all her children and sent them on quests so they could train to avenge their father, but Fionn manages to sweet talk Gráinne into living happily ever after with him. When her kids came to get revenge, Gráinne was like “nah we’re cool now” and the kids went, “oh okay” and it just ended there. The end.

[wonustars]

𝘚𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘷𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘈𝘸𝘢𝘺

I recommend listening to Still by Jeff Bernat while reading the first part!

Summary: It’s been a year since you and your ex-boyfriend, Wonwoo, had broken up. You have been having a hard time getting over him, no thanks to the fact you share mutual friends. Friends who liked to constantly update you on how he’s doing. After having no contact for the past 12 months, you two end up at the same party.

Tags: angst, fluff, hurt and comfort, smut (mdni) j.ww x reader, nonidol! au, nonidol!wonwoo, exbf!wonwoo, jealous!wonwoo, mentions of most svt members (S.Coups, Jeonghan, Hoshi, Minghao, Mingyu Seungkwan.), exes to lovers, y/n has way too much pride, pining over eachother during the whole party omf, they both assume too much, a little mingyu x reader if you squint, low tolerance hoshi as always, mingyu is bullied but thats normal atp.

Smut Tags/Warnings: smut mdni! dom!wonwoo, sub!reader, afab!reader, bathroom sex, p in v sex, semi-public sex, fingering, literally one spank (f. receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, tiniest bit of degradation, praise, lots of petnames (baby, princess, love,). if i've missed anything lmk! :}

Word count: 4556 words.

Note: HELLO OOMFG, my first ever seventeen fic has now graced this website. literally no one asked for this… i just love wonwoo. I can't believe i even finished this with how hectic school is wtf. any ways this is my first Wonwoo fic and i'm very excited and NERVOUS to share it with you all...... anyways i hope u like it haha. lmk what you guys think of it PLEASE i want feedback, i crave feedback. love u all enjoy hfiasuheiuhafsi.

SMUT UNDERNEATH THIS CUT. MDNI! 18+.

After a year of not seeing one another, the pang in your heart never subsided. The thought of even breathing the same air as him was already causing you to feel the uneasiness boiling in your stomach. You heard from everyone how well he’s doing without you, you didn’t want to have to see it with your own eyes too. 

Unassumingly, you walked into Soonyoung’s apartment expecting to be greeted by the host himself. Instead, you donned upon a familiar set of eyes. Soft brown eyes, the same ones that you looked into every morning for three years. 

You tried your best to act ok, but the familiar ache in your chest was creeping in once again. The same ache that hasn’t left for the past 12 months. The same ache that hasn’t left since you watched him walk out your front door. 

The two of you are still standing there. Awkwardness started to settle in. You clear your throat and attempt to give your best poker face. 

“Hi, uhm is Soonyoung in there?” You Inquire. Cursing yourself mentally due to the audible shake in your voice. 

“Hey Y/n long time no see, and yeah he’s already become good friends with his toilet. You know how he gets with alcohol.” He chuckled. 

Now you’re mentally cursing him. He looks so composed compared to you. He’s even joking around with you. You have half the mind to back out and just drive home. But you can't. You can't because it’ll make you look like he still has an effect on you. Even though you’re not over him you still have some pride left in you. 

“Oh haha that doesn’t sound too good. Anyways, it’s nice seeing you again but I’m gonna go and greet everyone now.” You declare, eyes not even meeting him. If they did you wouldn’t be able to stay calm any longer. 

His hair got longer, you thought to yourself. He looked so good even after all this time. The thick rimmed glasses he wore complimented his features well. Alongside the creme knit sweater, the sleeves sitting above his elbows. It gives you a good view of his strong forearms. The same ones that held you while you fell asleep every night. 

“It’s nice seeing you too Y/n.” His voice is almost a whisper. Eyes scanning your face for any type of reaction. 

To Wonwoo’s dismay you only nod your head half-heartedly and trudge past him. He can feel his heart skip a beat, with both joy and sadness. Being able to see you is so bittersweet, and you still look as good as you did when he last saw you a year ago. 

He watches you make your way through the room. Your eyes particularly light up as you spot Mingyu. Curious eyes peer over to your frame and see how Mingyu engulfs you into a tight hug. Wonwoo's fists ball up tightly and he shuts the door with more force than normal. 

If things were different, it would be him that has his arms around you. Not his best friend.

You laugh at Mingyu's joke, but you’re still conscious of the pair of eyes that are burning into your back. You didn’t have to turn around to know who was staring at you. A part of you is happy, why is Wonwoo keeping his eyes on you? The other part of you is anxious. Why is Wonwoo keeping his eyes on you? 

“We’ve really missed you around here y/n.” Mingyu's soft voice brings you back to reality. 

“I’ve missed you guys too, Gyu.” You professed. Your hand moves to give his bicep a reassuring pat. To the two of you it’s nothing but a friendly gesture. To Wonwoo, it appears to be more than that. 

His jealousy is brewing in the pit of his stomach. 

You, on the other hand, are very aware of the way Wonwoo is eyeing you and Mingyu. If you didn’t know any better, you would assume that Wonwoo is jealous of Mingyu. As much as you want that to be the actual reason, you suppress your inner thoughts. Instead, you let Mingyu continue to talk your ear off about why he thinks Lane's character deserved a better ending in Gilmore Girls. 

…

Hours passed and the party has dyed down considerably. The only

people left at Sooyoung's apartment are now sitting around chatting in the living room. Everyone but Soonyoung (who Jeonghan and Minghao eventually put to rest in his room) have been engaging in the group’s conversation. 

“Haha, Hey Mingyu! Remember that time you tried to do a flip in the pool just to impress Y/n?” Jeonghan decided to make up a game called Mingyu's embarrassing moments. Group bonding he likes to call it. You can't help but laugh at the way the boys like to tease Mingyu. 

Though you found it surprising that Mingyu's failed flip was because he was trying to gain your attention. 

“I’m sick of you guys bringing that up! My back hurt for a whole week..” Mingyu huffs, he looks at you with a pout. Allyou can do is giggle. 

“It’s ok Gyu, you can show me your flip the next time we go to the pool!” You try not to burst into laughter as you reassuringly pat his shoulder. In the middle of all of this you felt a pair of eyes on you the whole time. Without even turning to look you knew who it was.

Excusing yourself to go to the washroom, you let the group continue to share their favourite moments of Mingyu embarrassing himself.

While you stood there, eyes closed, a sigh left your lips. All your energy had been drained from the party. Especially because 90% of your brain power had been used on looking at Wonwoo without making it obvious. You couldn’t help but steal glances, especially because he looked so good sitting there laughing with the guys. 

The tap was still running when you heard the door open and shut firmly behind you. You look up at the mirror to see a pair of cat-like eyes staring back at you. The squeeze in your chest intensifies. Out of all the people who could be in this small space with you right now, it’s him. 

“Are you and Mingyu a thing?” He cuts to the chase. Wonwoo was never the type to beat around the bush. Whenever he was curious about something he would ask. He finds it exhausting to play coy. It doesn’t make sense to him. 

You cough due to the awkward atmosphere. “W-what? Of course not! Me and Mingyu are just friends. He’s your best friend Wonwoo. I would never do that to you.” 

“I’m sorry I just don’t like the way you two seem so close.” He deflates. His eyes are still piercing into your soul. 

“Why? He’s both our friend Won.” You retort. His nickname leaves your lips so easily. The blush spreads across your cheeks in a matter of seconds. It’s been awhile since you’ve been this close to him. Since you’ve last called him by his nickname. 

“It’s the way he’s always trying to get your attention. I think he likes you Y/n.” Wonwoo sighs, he hates that you're so oblivious to Mingyu’s advances. Everyone but you seems to see the double meaning to his actions. 

“Even if Mingyu does like me, I would kindly reject him.” You assure him. You’re not sure why though, you two aren’t even together anymore. Following that thought, your heart aches once again. 

We’re not together anymore, you repeat in your head. 

You turn around to face him. With your backside pressed up against the bathroom counter, your breath gets caught in your throat. 

“My love, why did we even break up?” Wonwoo questioned you with a sad expression. You frowned. You recall the last few weeks before you broke up with him. 

He was so respectful of your decision it almost seemed like he wanted it to happen too. 

“Because I could tell that the last thing you needed was a relationship. Work was hectic for you, I was barely around because of my last year at school. It just felt like we were always at two different places. I loved you but I don’t think it would’ve been long before we called it quits. I just decided-.” He cuts you off. 

“Yes. You decided without me. We could’ve made it work. But you decided to break it off when it could’ve been fixed easily. I didn’t put up a fight when it happened because you seemed so sure that you didn’t love me anymore.” The tears in your eyes were threatening to spill. His face is so close to yours. The proximity of both your bodies. It was so much of him after not having him at all for so long. 

“I’m sorry, I just thought about what’s best for you.” You countered. A pout settling on your face. His arms are placed on the counter, gripping the marble on each side of you, locking you in. 

“There you go again, making decisions for the both of us.” His voice barely above a whisper. 

Wonwoo's eyes are still trained on yours, and you can’t seem to look away. The sparkle isn’t there anymore. It hasn’t been there since the day you left him. 

“Baby tell me you don’t love me anymore. Tell me that so I can move on. Because everyday that I’m not waking up beside you is another day my heart breaks a little more. I can’t even breathe properly without you. So please, just tell me you don’t love me.” The crack in his voice causes a tear in your heart. He’s begging you, the desperation in his words are clear. 

You look down. Wonwoo's knuckles are turning white because of how hard he’s gripping the countertop. The both of you are breathing heavily, and you fear that he can hear how hard your heart is pounding. 

“I’m sorry Won, but I can’t do that.” You murmured. “As much as I want you to be happy, I can’t tell you that I don’t love you. I don’t think I can ever stop.” 

“If you love me then come back to me. Please Y/n whatever it was that caused us to break up, we can fix it.” Pleading you, he grabs your face with his large hands. The motion makes you look back up into his eyes. He’s crying. 

The tears in his eyes slip gracefully down his face. Even in this sad moment he still looked so beautiful. A blush prominent on his cheeks and the tip of his nose. His long lashes wet with tears. Sorrow somehow makes him look so pretty in the dull lighting of the bathroom. 

Your heart thumps rapidly in your chest and your tongue dry. What are you even meant to say? Is it worth it to come back to a relationship you thought you couldn’t salvage? As much as you love Wonwoo, you two had so much ahead of you. His career was clearly taking off before you broke up with him and you just didn’t want to hold him back. You needed love, you needed attention but he just became too busy, rightfully so. You would never blame him for prioritizing his work, even if it meant straining your relationship. 

On the other hand you were in the final stages of completing your thesis. The two of you were always missing each other. He was always coming home in the later hours of the night while you were still asleep, and by the time it was morning the bed was neatly made beside him. 

“Won, I love you, I do. But I can tell you’re better off without me. From what Cheol and the boys are saying, you’re happy. I even heard you're dating again.” you chuckle bitterly, biting the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from crying. 

“No Y/n, I’m fucking miserable without you. I don’t care what the boys are saying. I only went on a date because Soonyoung said it would be good to try again, but I can’t do it. I can’t because it's not you. And I can’t stand the thought of you ending up with someone else. I want to be your last. I miss waking up to you every morning, and I miss the way the house smelt when you were still around. I even miss the way you would snore in your sleep. I need you in my life, but if you don’t feel the same way anymore then I won’t bother you anymore. You won’t have to worry about me.” Wonwoo’s voice cracks, the desperation clear in his voice. 

His hands are still caging you in, the proximity becoming overwhelming. Your faces are inches apart, and all you can smell is his peach scented cologne. His scent only ever reminded you of home. God why was he so good with his words, you thought. The tears in your eyes start to fall. Fuck. This is not how you thought this night was going to go. 

“I love you Wonwoo.” is all you can say in response. It comes out as a whisper as the gap between you two starts to fade. 

Your lips move against his with fluidity. He feels the same way he did a year ago, you thought. The sound of the running tap and the sounds of kissing fill the small bathroom. Wonwoo’s hands move from the countertop to your waist, gripping you tight. As if you were about to disappear into thin air if he let you go. 

All you could think about at that moment was that he felt so good on top of you. Your bodies pressed up against each other once again. You haven’t been with anyone since the two of you broke up, you just couldn’t do it. No one could get you as turned on as Wonwoo does. It doesn’t feel right unless it's him, it doesn’t feel right to have anyone inside you except him. 

Wonwoo still has his iron grip on you, but now his hands are creeping under your shirt to feel your bare waist. You don’t stop him, if anything you want him to keep going. Fuck everyone who can hear you outside. Right now, at this moment, it's just you and him. 

Both of your breathing becomes laboured as you deepen the kiss, opening your mouth to let his tongue explore the inside of your mouth. His mouth finally leaves yours; looking at you again with those piercing eyes. Staring back with the same intensity you just smile and place a hand on his cheek. He breaks the contact only to dive into your neck, kissing and licking every square inch he has access to. You can only whimper as you feel him marking you up. Even though it's a bad idea for him to leave hickies, he can’t help it. Wonwoo wants to show you how badly he’s missed you. 

You two are close enough in distance that you can feel his hard on pressing against your thigh. He’s rubbing himself against you as he licks up your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin. 

“Hmm feels good baby,” you whisper, as you move your head to give him more surface area. Eyes rolling to the back of your head, your hand gripping his bicep to keep you grounded throughout all the pleasure. It’s been so long since you’ve been touched like this, you can’t help but feel sensitive to every miniscule touch that you’re receiving. 

“I need you so bad Won,” you whimper to him. His hold on you tightens at your words. All of this feels like a dream that you don’t want to wake up from. Wonwoo’s lips feathering soft kisses against your skin as he holds you; it just feels too good to be true. 

“Shh I know baby, I’ll give you what you want, just let me savour you for a bit.” He whispers back in your ear, one hand slowly moving towards your chest. His hand was fully under your shirt by this point. You force him to reconnect his lips with yours again, kissing him harder. You pull away again just to take off your shirt, your bra following without a second to spare. Not wasting any time your pants come off next, leaving you fully naked against the sink. 

Before you can take off any of Wonwoo’s clothes he stops you, his eyes dark with want. Moving you to sit on top of the counter, he spreads your legs. You sit there with anticipation as he massages your thighs, admiring your glistening pussy. He hasn’t done much but he still looked so attractive under the fluorescent light. Your walls lining with slick the more you looked at him. Fingers creeping close to where you need him most, he plays with your wetness. You sigh, the relief washing over you as he rubs slow, lazy circles on your clit. 

“Need more, please baby.” you whine, grabbing his wrist to bring him closer to your entrance. He pulls back with a tsk. 

“No love, let me play with you for a bit.” He’s not asking, and you know how he gets when you two are like this. You’ve always been a brat with him, and he was never one to give in. Always playing the long game, edging you until you beg him to let you cum. Today was not the day to play games with you though. 

“No. Wanna feel you inside me now.” you demand, leading his hands towards your soaking cunt. 

He can only sigh, giving into you for the first time. 

“This is the only time I’m letting you get what you want. Next time you better be begging for me.” He looked serious, and you know not to play brat any more than you have now. 

Without warning he shoves two fingers inside of you. Letting out a moan, you throw your head back. Eyes rolling to the back of your head as you spread your legs further. Wonwoo curls his fingers as he pumps them in and out of you, feeling how wet you are for him. He can’t help but grin to himself. He knows he’s the only one who can get you this needy, and he's enjoying every single second of it. 

Your moans get louder and he slaps his other hand over your mouth. 

“If you wanna be a good little whore for me, you better keep quiet. Can’t have the others hearing you now, isn’t that right baby?” he spits. You can only nod, your brows furrowing with pleasure. 

“You're so wet already, this is just for me isn't it?” he hums, picking up the speed as he finger fucks you. You moan against his hand, not being able to give a proper response due to all the pleasure. You forgot how good his fingers feel compared to your own. They fill you up so well, not even your vibrator can make you feel this good. 

He continues with his ministrations, the sounds of your wet folds squelching echoes inside the bathroom. Your mind wanders to whether or not the guys can hear you, but they quickly dissipate as his thumb finds your clit once again. Rubbing it in perfect rhythm with his fingers. The familiar feeling of your orgasm approaching creeps up on you. 

“G-gonna cum Won.” you breathe out. His hand leaves your mouth, replacing it with his lips. The speed of his fingers increases, the other hand fondling your tits to get you closer to the edge. You moan into the kiss as relief washes over you, your cunt dripping with cum. It covers his hands and your inner thighs. Before you could say anything, Wonwoo shoves his fingers in your mouth, forcing you to taste yourself. 

“Good job baby, you’re doing so well for me aren’t you?” He chuckles as you obediently lick up your cum from his fingers. The praise and your recent orgasm makes your head dizzy. 

Opening your mouth you remove his fingers. You pout and pull him closer to you, and he goes back to placing his hands at each of your sides on the counter, leaning in to give you a peck on your lips. 

“Want your cock, please baby.” you whine, grabbing the ends of his sweater to attempt to lift it off of him. He can only laugh at how needy you are for him. “Wanna feel you cum inside me please.” 

“Only because you asked so nicely.” 

He removes his clothes quickly, both your bodies buzzing with anticipation. His pants pooling at his ankles, and his member stands hard and leaking with pre cum. Your mouth can’t help but water. As much as you want to suck him off right now, you don’t. Mentally leaving a note to yourself to ask him about it next time. Next time, you thought. It still sounded funny considering you haven’t been with him like this in a long time. 

Parting your legs apart further, Wonwoo moves in between them, his hands guiding his dick towards your entrance. Teasingly he rubs himself against your cunt, collecting your juices for an easier entrance. You look down between the two of you and your pussy clenches at how big he is.

“Stop teasing please, I want you inside me now.” you beg, pushing your hips to meet his. He just chuckles, shaking his head before he forces his cock past your folds. 

Gasping at the sudden intrusion, he doesn’t give you time to adjust; grabbing your thighs to hook them between his arms, spreading you further. It gives him a new angle to fuck into you deeper, his thrusts fast and hard just how you’ve always liked it. The pleasure becomes more overwhelming with every move he makes. The feeling of his hard member rubbing against your gummy walls sends you into overdrive. He continues to hit that spot in you that you know no one else can reach. The vigour in every movement causes slapping sounds to fill the room alongside the wet sounds of his cock entering in and out of you. If anything it just turns you one even more. 

“Feels so good baby, keep going.” You moan as he places his mouth around your nipple sucking on it as he continues to fuck you. He moves your legs once again to place them around his hips, allowing his free hand to rub your clit once more. The feeling of it all is hitting you hard, especially with how sensitive you are from the previous orgasm. 

“So fucking tight for me princess.” Wonwoo grunts, his words causing you to clench around him even harder. He’s groaning above you, trying hard to not cum for as long as possible. You’re already drunk off his cock but he wants to savour every moment of this. The uncertainty of it all is keeping him from cumming too quickly. 

The moans coming from your mouth only get louder the more he plays with your clit, and before you know it you’re coming undone for the second time tonight. But Wonwoo perseveres, his thrusts never falter. Not until you feel his member twitch inside you. 

“Cum inside me Won, wanna be filled up please.” you’re blubbering at this point, overstimulated and overwhelmed. You just want to feel his cum spurt into your hole. He groans at how the filthy words spewing from your lips, causing him to release inside you. You whimper against his shoulder, feeling the hot white liquid spilling into your pussy. As you clench around him once more you bring his face to yours, giving a deep and meaningful kiss. 

“Come home with me. I’m not done with you.” He demands. His dick still inside of you, he refuses to pull out, finding comfort in your warmth. 

“I’ll do whatever you want Jeon Wonwoo, as long as I get to ride you later.” you laugh, removing yourself from his grip. He smiles, the pink tinge apparent on his cheeks. 

You hop off the counter to put on your clothes, and as you bend down to grab your things you feel a sharp slap hit your ass. Yelping, you turn to give him a dirty look. He can only smile mischievously, the sight of his cum leaking from your pussy lips onto your thighs is turning him on again. As he gets dressed his head fills with intrusive thoughts, ultimately, he decides to save it for later. 

The two of you end up leaving the bathroom just to see everyone still drinking and talking in a circle. All the attention turns towards the two of you. Out of all the people you can’t help but notice the way Mingyu isn’t his usual cheerful self, the difference earlier on in the party is a stark contrast from his current mood. Your thoughts are cut off by Seungkwan’s voice. 

“Finally! My god, we didn’t know when you two were gonna make up, its been to fucking long.” he exasperates, both you and Wonwoo giggle bashfully. 

“For real, the tension between the both of you was too thick. All you needed was a good fuck.” Jeonghan chimes in, giving you two a suggestive wink. 

You feel the heat rise creep up your neck to cheeks. In the heat of the moment the bathroom fuck was good, but you know the boys aren’t going to let you two live it down. They never do, Mingyu being a prime example. 

“Ok ok, I hope you all got your jokes in. Me and Y/n are going home.” Wonwoo announces, leading you to the doorway with his hand on the small of your back. 

“Good night guys!” You bid them farewell and you make your way out of Soonyoung’s apartment. They all say their goodnights to you two, along with some cheers at the news that you and Wonwoo are back to normal.

The two of you walk towards Wonwoo’s car, his hand entangled with yours; holding you tight to ensure you don’t leave him again. The fall breeze sends chills down your spine, the leaves dancing in circles along the pavement. Wonwoo pulls you in closer, trying to preserve your warmth. You can’t help but smile at the fact that he just knew, even when you didn’t say anything. 

As you reach the destination of his car, he opens the door for you. Letting you get comfortable before climbing in himself and turning it on to start. The radio immediately connects to his phone, the song humming quietly in the background. Wonwoo’s hand finds yours again, looking at you with warm eyes. He places a quick peck on your lips before pulling away. There’s only one destination for him in mind. 

“Home?” he asks. 

“Home.” you respond.

© wonustars

a/n: there you have it kind reader! you've reached the end. i hope you enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed writing it :D leave a like, comment or even a reblog!!! i wanna hear your thoughts. mwah mwah, anna <3.

plz note: 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙞’𝙫𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 !

[nnight-dances]

CHERRY-FLAVOURED

PAIRING: choi seungcheol x f!reader (ft. kwon soonyoung & kim mingyu)

GENRE: fluff, angst

TROPES: small town au!, exes to lovers, jealousy, idiots in love, fake dating (w/ soonyoung), you own a small bookstore and i never mention what seungcheol does (but just know he's rich).

RECOMMENDED: reading ADORABLY, YOURS before this, since this is the same seungcheol and i make a few references to what happened there.

"Oh, did you hear? Seungcheol's back in town!" Nayeon calls out with a lopsided smile she thinks is inconspicuous. You think it's obnoxious. 

But you don't let her know how much the news bothers you, pretending to instead by absorbed in currently trying to get your hair to sit right in a ponytail. "Sure," you reply, not breaking eye-contact with yourself in the mirror. 

Your roommate quickly catches though because she appears by your shoulder in the mirror, eyes narrowing. "Right. And you're fine with it?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" you mutter, devoting every fibre of your being to make your tone stay flat.

"I don't know, the way you've been working on this ponytail for the past fifteen minutes had me thinking otherwise," she shrugs, "And the fact that it still looks like shit from the back."

You scoff in offense, "All my baby hair makes it real hard to do this, okay!" But Nayeon's already making her way back to the kitchen to finish her breakfast with a teasing giggle and you watch her in dismay, wondering if not only your hairstyle but also your acting had really been that bad.

And as you spin around to face your reflection, you figure that the general bad-ness of your life might have something to with Seungcheol's return to town after all. Not that you would ever admit it, for many reasons. But mainly because of the fact that he's your ex-boyfriend. 

You liked to think you'd ended things with him on a good note– there hadn't been too many tears or screams and you still would catch up with him whenever you ran into him, an occurrence that was basically inevitable given how small your town was. But ever since he'd left on trip to visit his much-famed best friend, Jeonghan, you'd finally gotten around to thinking about why you were still single despite having left a long-term relationship for over a month.  

…Which led to a series of messy first dates with the few tolerable men in town who would otherwise have you cringing at the thought of talking to them. And well, actually going out with them convinced you your first impressions were always right and your intuition was all-knowing. 

– 

Meet Soonyoung, the man who would almost unmistakably come around asking for gum in your store. Your bookstore. 

You couldn't figure out if it was a honest fault of his personality or if he was doing it to annoy you– until one afternoon you found it was something much worse: he was flirting with you.

"Y/N, your hair looks cute today," he's telling you through a grin right now. You look away from the computer screen where you've been logging the new stock of books in, ready to tell him thanks and that you needed to hear that since your beloved roomate insulted you this morning. You don't get around to saying all that because you spot a figure entering the store behind Soonyoung, where he's leaning on the counter with his hands under his chin. He thinks he's slick but you know it's so he can show off his arms. 

You've forgotten all about Hoshi and his boyish charms because you notice the new customer is none other than the recent arrival to town, Seungcheol. 

You hate the way you can feel your heart skip a beat at the revelation so you quickly turn your head back to your screen. "Thanks, Soonyoung."

Thankfully, Hoshi doesn't seem to notice the stiffness of your clipped response and instead is distracted by a stack of plastic-wrapped books. 

"Wow, you sure have a lot of new stock coming in these days, huh?" 

You nod, still not looking away from the screen. "Yeah, I've been working on keep the shelves up to date with the new releases. I'm sick of people using the feedback box to curse me out for still placing the classics out front."

You hear a snort then and you immediately recognize it as not Soonyoung's. 

"You'd think that's how the feedback works, no?" 

Slowly you turn to look at him in the eyes, unsettled by the playful glint you find there. "...Can I help you?" you ask quietly, keeping your tone cordial but not too warm. Hoshi stands up straight with Seungcheol next to him, earning him a glance from the man. 

"Oh, did you finally hire a part-timer?" he asks. You consider throwing the stack of new books in your ex's face. And then you remember how much they cost. So instead, you settle on shaking your head. 

"No–" Hoshi cuts you off, though, much to your chagrin. 

"No, I'm just here giving Y/N company," he's saying and you really wish he wouldn't speak, but he goes on, "She's been pretty stressed out these days and last week–"

"Soonyoung," you look at him warningly, "do you think you could help me double-check if there's a delivery out front? I keep getting tracking updates that it's close."

"Of course!" he responds already reaching for the glass doors, "Be right back, Y/N!"

With Soonyoung gone, Seungcheol finally breaks into the guffaw you know he's been keeping in for the past five minutes. "What's that all about?"

"It's none of your business, Seungcheol," you inform him as you busy yourself with tidying up the stray pieces of gum wrapper Soonyoung had conveniently forgotten. 

"Oh, so you do remember who I am, after all?" You hate how much you like listening his voice turn slighly soft at the sound of his name on your lips. And the how your breath's a little uneven when he slides to invade your line of vision, big hands tapping at the counter to get your attention. As if you could possibly be thinking about anything else right now. 

"Why are you here, anyway?" you ask him, training your gaze on him. "Because I know, for a fact, you don't read." 

"I'm hurt, Y/N," Seungcheol gasps with a hand to his chest. His unbelievably firm chest. "And after I worked so hard to read that boring poem book for you?"

You almost seethe at the way he calls it a poem book but contain it with a grimace. "Can we get to the point here? I have a store to run, dude."

"I'm serious! I came here to find a book. Considering picking that poem book again, figure out what the big deal is for once and for all."

You stay still, unresponsive to his ridiculous excuse. Seungcheol waits a few beats, eyes locked with yours before giving in. "Fine. I was in town and wanted to see how you were doing." 

Never mind, you think you preferred to hear the ridiculous lies because the way your ex-boyfriend's gaze drops to your fists by your side has you immediately unfolding your grasp. Stupid Seungcheol and his ability to fuck up a perfectly okay daily routine. 

"Ugh," you sigh out after a moment, "Come on. I'll help you find the chapbook. But you have to promise to never call it a poem book ever again. Or I'm blacklisting you." 

You don't see it but when you spin around to march into the bookstore, expecting Seungcheol to follow you, he's all smiles, his own fists unravelling at the way your tone lost its cold somewhere along the way of this encounter. He skips behind you with a noise of excitement. 

"Okayyyy," you hum as you crouch by the poetry section, fingers expertly running through the spines of the thin books there. Seungcheol crouches by you, a little too close because his arm brushes against you, almost throwing you off-balance. 

You're about to tell him off for surprising you but he suddenly smiles, dimples so delicious in the soft glow of the light of the bookstore filtering through the bookshelves. "Your hair looks different," he comments, voice low and his gaze slowly follows the trail of your low ponytail, the thin grey band that holds the strands together clearly very worn-out. "Looks pretty." 

And where Seungcheol's wondering when you started wearing your hair up, you're incredibly flustered by his compliment. You stand up too quick, knee joints popping, and you think you must really be growing old when your vision blacks out a little. 

You steady yourself with a hand on the shelf, quietly scolding Seungcheol, "You're in the way." He joins you on his feet, making way with an exaggerated wave of his arm, not missing the way your ears are turning redder by the second.

You're gifted a good solid five minutes of peace as you inspect the shelves, wondering how you lost track of the chapbook, when Seungcheol speaks up again. "Um, so seriously, what's the deal with you and Soonyoung? You… seeing him?" 

For all his attempts at maintaining an air of nonchalance, Seungcheol can't help how irked he was when he walked into your bookstore to the sight of Soonyoung making conversation to you. Irksome especially more so because he'd heard you say that you hated having people around you while you did the boring but imperative computer-related stuff at work, something about wanting to get the misery out of the way as soon as possible. Yet, there Soonyoung had been, distracting you with all his airhead being. 

"I can't seem to locate the book right now for some reason," you start, doing nothing to ease Seungcheol's worries, "And I also can't seem to comprehend why my dating life is a point of discussion between us… anymore."

And wow, does your comment hurt. It hurts Seungcheol but also you, even as you're the one saying it because you can practically feel his mood dampening at your words. But the rational part of you is praising you for doing the right thing and setting your boundaries before you get any more carried away by your ex-boyfriend's ways. 

That afternoon Seungcheol leaves your bookstore, very empty-handed and extremely heart-broken, because as he exits, he can already hear Soonyoung asking if you wanted get lunch with him. 

– 

Speaking of lunch, enter Mingyu because eating out with someone, more often than not, meant making a trip to his humble but bustling restaurant. It was everything right with your small town: a simple menu that remained consistently mind-blowing no matter how many times you visited.

Wish you could say your friendship with Mingyu had maintained the same level of consistency as his culinary competence. 

And in your defense, you didn't know how much longer you could've gone ignoring the way Mingyu would take every opportunity to make you extra sides that you didn't order and send you specially curated handmade dinner-sets when he heard you were sick or too busy to eat. You hated it, crossing the friendzone you had so carefully placed him in, but one late night, when he showed up at your door in the rain just so he could deliver your food before it went cold, you caved and invited him in. 

So while you legally have no choice but to politely turn down Soonyoung's offer for lunch, you can't help that you find yourself walking to Mingyu's Kitchen on Saturday morning for some brunch because as much as you loved improvising with the two ingredients in your fridge, nothing beat the ramyeon he cooks. 

You're still groggy when you enter the cozy shop but the familiar scent iss already warming you up from the chilly air outside. Except you make eye-contact with the man as you step foot into the place. 

The man being Seungcheol, of course, because where you could handle fielding Mingyu's puppy eyes on you, a reminder that you hadn't texted him back yet– Seungcheol's intense glare fixed on you has you shaking in your boots. Literally. 

"...actually, I think I'll just eat here," you hear him call out as you approach the counter to place your order. Your head hurts already so you don't think too hard about Seungcheol's request to Sakura who nods with a smile. 

"Y/N!" Mingyu materializes in front of you with a beam to greet you and you think sunglasses might've been the way to go this morning. 

"Hey," you drag out the greeting, flinching at your own hoarse voice, "What's up, Gyu?"

"Nothin' much, just dealing with the usual Saturday morning rush, y'know? Maroon 5 should write a song about that instead of crying over Sunday mornings, don't you think?"

You're busy processing the tall man's chaotic train of thoughts when you hear Seungcheol laughing faintly. You glance at him, frowning when he's standing closer to you than you remember and then look back at Mingyu. "Ha, sorry it's so busy," you mumble.

"You don't sound so good. Did you catch something?" Mingyu inquires, brows furrowing and you genuinely love the man for his observance but dread its consequences nevertheless.

"Ahh, I mean, it's fine. Just a little cold from the wind," you clear your throat in an effort to sound better, "But I'll have a ramyeon for that very reason." You try to punctuate your sentence with a light-hearted chuckle but with your condition, it just kind of sounds like you're dying so you shut yourself up. 

"Feeling under the weather?" 

You look up from your phone screen, where you've been fixating all your attention so you can ignore the way Seungcheol's seated himself on the table right next to yours. This was the problem with eating out alone. The danger of your ex-boyfriend tailing you. You swear you're dragging Nayeon out after you next time, her fucked-up sleep schedule be damned. 

You shrug in response to his question, "I'm fine. Thanks for the concern."

"You're very welcome," comes his teasing reply, "But seriously, you've got to wear more layers than that if you want to make it to winter."

You look down at your long-sleeved top with a frown, "I think this attire is perfectly appropriate for the fall, actually." You tug at the sleeves so they cover your wrists as if to prove a point. 

Seungcheol raises a brow, "It would be a perfectly appropriate attire for someone who doesn't have the immune system of a rat."

Gasping, you shoot back, "Rude! I don't see why I have to stand this slander even when we're not together."

There it is. The words slip out your tongue before you have a minute to filter your thoughts and though things between you and Seungcheol are more chill than most former lovers, your sudden comment has the atmosphere turn ever so awkward, with his smile falling and your own turning sour. 

You sigh in relief when Sakura brings out a tray to Seungcheol's table that very moment, saving you just a little embarassment. "Enjoy your meal!" she smiles at him and then at you, "Your food will be out soon!" 

You nod, swallowing against your dry throat and watch as Seungcheol stares at his food wordlessly. You really had a way with words for someone who sold books for a living. Eventually, you go back to distracting yourself with your phone and he starts eating, suddenly laser-focused on his food. 

You're thankful for the space, until you see Mingyu making his way to your table with your tray in his hands. You don't know why he does that, bringing you your food despite being the head chef and owner of the place. Well, you do know why but you didn't have the energy to deal with the reasons today. 

Not with Seungcheol sitting right there, eyes on Mingyu's back as he places your food in front of you, grin intact. You're about to thank the man and hopefully, cut any conversation short but he beats you to it. 

"Here's your food, Y/N!" his voice borders on cracking but he goes on, "I made you some yuja-cha as well for your throat. And make sure you eat a lot of kimchi, okay? Let me know if you need anything else."

Slowly you nod, thanking him under your breath as he takes off and now it's your turn to stare at your food in silence while Seungcheol's shooting daggers your way. 

If he thought he was upset by your thing with Soonyoung, the way Mingyu was just all up in your space with his stupidly sweet gestures has Seungcheol… a lot more upset. 

"I thought Mingyu and you were just friends," he's voicing before he can help it. 

Your head snaps up in surprise but really, you should've seen this coming. You compose yourself, averting your eyes back to the warm food in your plate. "And I thought I made it clear that my dating life is none of your business."

"It's not my business," Seungcheol says, unconvincing to his own hears, "But it would be a problem if you were, you know, two-timing." 

Now you know Seungcheol is trying to get on your nerves because he knows how much you hate dishonesty and to accuse you of being disloyal is a low blow, really. But it works because you finally look back at him with eyes wide, "Of course I'm not. I slept with him like once!"

Where the news has Seungcheol feeling conflicted because where it was good to know that nothing was serious, it was also not fun to hear that you'd slept with him. But while he tried hard to not dwell on Mingyu's impressive physique, you were busy catching up with your own loss of control.

Because even despite your unintended confession that you hope you weren't too loud about, you quickly supply in a quiet voice, "...well, it was technically a date that led to sleeping– but it had nothing to do with Soonyoung— I don't even know why I'm telling you this!" 

You spend the rest of your brunch focusing on finishing your food and appropriately thanking Mingyu for the food, a little apologetic for many many reasons, so you can leave the same room as your ex-boyfriend faster. 

But he makes it real hard, because just as you step out of the restaurant and take a deep breath of the fresh September air to settle your nerves, you hear his voice calling you out. You stuff your hands into the pockets of your pants to brace yourself as you turn around, already starting to say something about how he needs to leave you alone and forget you said anything. 

"You left your phone behind!" he cuts you off, holding out the device for you to see. You curse under your breath, feeling incredibly ridiculous as you reach for it. 

"Thanks–"

And then he dodges your grasp, leaving you flailing around like an idiot while he looks on with an amused half-smile. Half a smile because he knows you would kill him and then yourself if he straight-out laughed at you. 

"I'll give it back if you unblock me."

Your shoulders slump and a groan leaves your lungs. "Seungcheol."

But his smile only widens because you may be glaring at him but you did just say his name. And a win is a win. 

"Seriously? You're holding my phone hostage just so you can blackmail me over something so petty? Come on!" 

"I'm sorry, do you know how many seal memes you've been missing out on since you blocked me? This is no laughing matter."

"I'm not the one laughing," you snap and then cross your arms in exasperation, "Don't be a child, dude, and just give me my phone."

"Why did you block me anyway?"

You raise your brows at him as if to say really? but he maintains his smile and you groan again. You hate him for knowing that you hadn't blocked him right after the breakup thanks to someone's insistence on thinking seal memes were funny and that the real resaon you'd blocked him was–

"–Siri kept recommending your contact every single time I would go to make a phone call! Heck, I couldn't even text Nayeon to get me a towel in the shower because the messages app would automatically redirect to you."

Seungcheol watches in awe as he connects the dots in his head and mutters, "You still had me saved as kkmua's dad?" You look away but your silence is enough of an answer. 

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the reason your phone confused Seungcheol with Nayeon because he was kkuma's dad and she was kookeu's mom– an idea a drunk you had found incredibly hilarous. The similarity in their spelling had your algorithm all fooled every time you typed in one or the other's name in a rush. Still, you wish Seungcheol was a little dumber sometimes. 

Now as you look at Seungcheol you can see he's thinking of something. Most likely considering the question: Why didn't you change it? 

"I was too lazy to change it back, okay? Blocking you was obviously the easier choice."

"I didn't say anything," he tells you with an easy smile, clearly pleased to see you flushed. "For what it's worth, you're still promising young woman in my contacts. And I didn't even have to block you."

It's probably because you've seen Seungcheol so much more than the past two months in the past two days, but you find yourself moved by his words. They're not that meaningful really, he's just bringing up a past inside joke in that reassuring tone of his. But you can't help but smile. 

"I hate you," you breathe out and in the context of the conversation, it makes enough sense. But Seungcheol's dimples deepen because in the context of your history with him, the words are a consolation. 

He only becomes certain of it later that night when he's washed up and throws himself into his sheets to find his phone lighting up in the darkness. It's you. 

promising young woman sent you a link 

promising young woman: rats actually have a great immune system so joke's on u 

And that's all it takes for Seungcheol to go back to his lovesick self, squeaking into his pillow as he reads your text over and over until he can comprehend that not only have you unblocked him of your own accord (debatable) but were also texting him first. 

– 

The next time you run into Seungcheol, it really brings his contact name to life. But before that, enter Soobin, a shy blonde who's recently moved to the town. 

"You like Lamp, huh?" 

Soobin jumps around, eyes flailing around as if you'd caught him red-handed. And you might as well have, what with how he'd been humming and swaying to the music leaking out of the speakers in your bookstore. You'd enjoyed watching the younger man visit the store more frequently the past few weeks, always in the evening hours when you would finally break open your playlists, a luxury you only allowed near closing time. 

"Ha," he nervous laughs, "Y-Yeah… Sorry, I didn't think you were still here."

"I run the place, Soobin. It'd be a bit of a problem if I just took off." You smile at his flustered sigh and move past him to shelf a book you'd taken out to review earlier. "Anyway, we're closing soon. You buying anything today or…?" 

Soobin looks at the thick book in his hands and you recognize it as a new arrival but then he flips it around, a little unsure. "Umm, I'm not– this seems cool but also scary so probably not?"

"I'll take it off your hands then?" you offer with an understanding shrug. But he shakes his head eagerly, "No, no, don't worry. I remember where I took this from. I don't want to get in your way."

"...All right," you reply after a pause. Then, brushing your hands against your pants, "Let me know if you need help, anyway." 

But Soobin's far from one to bother you as he leaves wordleslly, not without assisting you relocate some heavy boxes to the store before you lock up for the day. You're calling out goodbye after him as he takes off into the night when you hear soft barks closing in on you, 

For a beat, you freeze because the sound is excruciatingly nostalgic and you genuinely think you must've time travelled when you turn around to see Seungcheol running toward you with a very excited Kkuma leading the way. You're already dropping to a squat when the dog scurries to your feet, licking at your ankle before you get your hands on her.

You let out an undignified coo at the white ball of fur, "Kkuma, my baby. Aww, baby, you're so sweet. Look at you!" You go on for a little bit, fussing over her as she rolls over for some belly rubs before you come to and become aware of the way Seungcheol stands by, patiently watching. 

You slowly rise to your feet with an awkward smile. 

"I'm convinced she still loves you more than me," the man starts with a pout, "And it's still so unfair. Kkuma, I'm your dad. I pay for your meals and grooming, you know?"

You laugh at the way he scolds his dog in a small voice as you retort, "Maybe she's in her rebellious years. Let her be."

Seungcheol's soft gaze lands on you with a huffed chuckle. And then he looks at something behind you. "Who was that, by the way? New conquest?"

You throw your hands up in the air. "Come on, man. You can't keep doing this!"

"Doing what?"

"Snooping around in my business! And also making me sound like some kind of a player." 

Seungcheol looks down like he's reflecting. Kkuma paws at his leg with a whine and you look between them before letting out a cough.

"That was Soobin. If you must know." You look away as you say this, like it was no big deal, reporting on your customers to your ex-boyfriend because he still got all whiny when he saw you with another man. Neither of you is ready to address the meaning of your actions toward each other quite yet. So you both pretend it's normal when Seungcheol lights up a little when you speak up. 

"Soobin…? Haven't hear that name before."

"Yeah, he moved in a few weeks ago. Shy guy but very smart," you say, "And I think he wants to work part-time at the bookstore." 

"Woah," Seungcheol's ears perk up, "That's great, Y/N! You could totally use the help."

You turn to face him, arms crossed yet again, with a suspecting look on your face. "Hmm, I guess you could say that. I haven't popped the question yet though so don't go around spreading rumors." 

"Aww, you know I would never snitch on you like that! Unless he makes a move on you, of course, because that would be a very different story–"

"Seungcheol." 

Nice. That would be three points to Seungcheol if he was keeping count of how many times you'd said in his name in that grave voice of yours, indicating that you were mad but also couldn't cover up the laughter that bled into your tone anyway. And he was. 

– 

"What about you? You were gone a while."

Seungcheol counts his blessings every minute you spend with him, even if a lot of it was you pushing him away. But you couldn't stay consistent with your cold demeanour for much longer, not with him making sure he ran into you just as you closed your store. With Kkuma scurrying for love and his innocent blush whenever you greeted him, it wasn't long before you were letting your walls down. 

So it's no surprise that you find yourself curious of what he'd been upto in the month-long visit he'd paid to his best friend. 

Initially, Seungcheol's giddy ove your question, like you were on a first date all over again and not just walking along the dim grass fields like you so often did. "You know how it is with Jeonghannie. I meant to be there for a week but… one thing led to another and I was there for a while."

You fall silent, trying to imagine what it must've been like for him. "He still lives near that college, doesn't he?"

"Yeah. He's a strange fellow."

"Not that strange. College towns are like cities," you chuckle, "but with less crime and cranky people."

"I don't know, college students are pretty cranky too. Maybe even worse than the average city person." You raise a brow at Seungcheol's grimace.

"What, did Jeonghan force you to fraternize with college kids or what?"

Okay, now Seungcheol's getting a little worried when he realizes where this is going. And even though everything's in the past for him, he can't help but hesitate to tell you what exactly he'd been up to.

"...Yeah, I mean, most of his friends are college seniors. He knows them from his time there so it's pretty chill."

A few more questions from you have Seungcheol pulling out his phone to supply you with some visuals for some of the events he's mentioning and the way you softly laugh into his shoulder at the sight of the chaotic night parties has him getting a little careless. 

"Wait, wait, who was that?" you stop Seungcheol's now excited swiping with a cold hand to his forearm. He freezes, more because he realizes what you're trying to see than the temperature of your body against his. 

"Um, oh–" he watches dumbly as you go back a few photos to a selfie of him and a girl. They're grinning in the photo, teeth on display and cheeks clearly red from intoxication. 

"Ohh, is she one of his college friends? She's cute–" You interrupt your own musings over the stranger when you go back another photo in his gallery. This time it's a photo of the girl kissing Seungcheol on the cheek, his eyes closed with a shy smile. 

"That's–" Seungcheol barely opens his mouth to explain but trails off when you abruptly pull away from him. "She's– A friend… Um, goes to college in the place and she's–" He stops talking with a groan because great, all his stuttering has you side-eyeing him, no doubt recognizing the guilt swimming in his eyes.

Your voice is so small when you finally speak up, pace increasing. "That's cute," is all you say.

"Wait, Y/N, you don't understand. I know what I sound like but–"

"Just to be clear," you stop your brisk walking to hold up a hand in between you and him as if to symbolize the space there. "You don't have to explain anything to me. It's all cool, Seungcheol." 

And the way you murmur his name transports him back a couple months, a similar breezy night. One where you'd pulled him away from a group dinner with your friends and looked down at your feet the whole time but your words had pierced right through his heart anyway. Even back then, you said his name softly, without any malice, but even that might've been merciful. Because what's worse is the way you uttered his name like goodbye, sincere enough to bring tears to his eyes, even now, as he watches your forlorn back disappear into the night. 

Zero points to Seungcheol. 

– 

"Y/N, you in there?"

It takes a good minute of Nayeon repeating her questioning in increasing volume for you to finally hear her knocks over the sound of the music playing through your headphones. You frown as you uncover one ear and call out, "Nayeon? What happened?" The door to your room slowly creaks up, revealing your roommate standing there with her hands occupied, each holding up a bottle of soju invitingly.

"Wanna talk about it?" 

You're already tearing up when she asks you that and by the time you've both drunk your way through the bottles, your eyes feel numb. You interrupt your own worrying over how swollen they were bound to be tomorrow when you point a finger at Nayeon and question, "I really needed this today. How'd you know?"

She smiles, "Of course I did. You ignored my text about eating at Mingyu's Kitchen and my offer to pay. Plus, you didn't do the thing you usually do where you come in and complain about your ex."

You pout, "I'm sorry. I must be so annoying."

"You are," Nayeon shrugs, "And I like it. But you know what I would like more? If you would just make up with him already."

"No."

"Is this about that one photo of some girl kissing him on the cheek? You know how petty it is to get jealous over something like that?"

"She was seriously pretty, Nayeon!" you defend yourself, "And I'm not jealous, just– just upset because he didn't tell me earlier. I feel so stupid."

"I'm sorry, babe," she mutters, rubbing your back, "He's an idiot for not just coming clean."

"I know! Even after he went sticking his nose in my business and who I slept with while he was gone!"

You sniffle, "Maybe I should just call him and tell him to never ever talk to me again. And that he's a jerk. And that I still love him."

"Wait a second," Nayeon pulls you back onto your butt on the floor, "Maybe, let's reconsider that last part?"

You're clearly more drunk than you let on because you look genuinely confused by her interjection. "What? About me hating him?"

– 

When you drag yourself into work on Monday, you expect a lot of things. You see the headache coming, from last night's drinking and this morning's lack of hot water. You also know it's going to rain the whole day so it's only harder to put one foot after another to move. And where you also expect to pestered by a man: the desperate pleas don't come from Seungcheol like you'd secretly hoped.

"Soonyoung?"

The man, who'd been impatiently pacing by the entrance to your store, stops at the sound of your voice and spins around, nearly slipping over thanks to the wet ground. He throws the daunting hood covering his eyes with a bright smile as you run over and hastily unlock the store.

"Why're you out here in the rain?" 

Soonyoung sighs in relief once he's inside brushing his damp pants off with a quick hand. Then, he looks up with a shy expression, "Well, I… need to ask you something."

And given his past mooning over you, when he says that with a nervous laugh, you're stiffening up because you think you know where this is going. But then, Soonyoung defies your expectations for the second time yet again. 

Because where you'd expected to have to turn him down with an incompetent attempt at kindness, the next hour finds you grappling with all the information he's throwing at you.

For starters, he does ask you out. But– "It's fake. Dont worry, I'm not actually into you like that," he quickly adds with a dry laugh. 

As it turns out, he's asking you to help him make a move on a girl he only recently realized he liked. Her name's Chaewon and the only thing you know about her is that she owns a strawberry farm and can sing on ocassion. So you're easily worried by this proposition, "Soonyoung, why would you pretend to be with someone else? Shouldn't you be asking her out?" 

The boy heaves a sigh, "Y/N, I hate it to break it to you but nobody does that anymore. Keep up with the times, won't you? Jealousy is the new I like you."

"I'm pretty sure that's not true," you scoff out, refusing to let Soonyoung peg you as old-fashioned. Your stomach swims at his words anyway, ming wandering to your own… jealousy issues with a certain someone.

"Anyway, there's an open observatory night or something at her farm tonight with complementary dinner after. And I need you to come with me and make her jealous." 

"I don't like how serious you are about this," you complain, "And I don't think I want to be a part of this evil scheme."

"Please, Y/N, you're the only one I can rely on! And you're basically a celebrity around here, when it comes to dating."

You frown, finally looking away from the shelf you'd been re-ogranizing, "What do you mean?"

Soonyoung bites his lip, clearly having said something he shouldn't have. You poke at his arm urgently with a glare. He groans, giving in, "Well, it's just… your break-up with Seungcheol was the only thing anyone could talk about last month! And then the gossip only resurfaced when he came back to town."

"What kind of gossip?" you press with narrow eyes. 

"I– can't say."

"Soonyoung," you warn him, "Tell me. Or I won't pretend to be your girlfriend."

"Oh, come on! This is blackmail!"

"I thought you really wanted to be with Chaewon, no?" you question with inordinate amounts of innonence in your smile, "Makes you want to paint flowers onto the sky for her, doesn't she?"

"Fine, I'll tell you but only because this side of you is scary," the boy sighs out, "People think the reason you broke up with him was because he cheated on you. And now he's back in town so he can apologize and make up with you… or whatever." 

"That's ridiculous!" you cough out, "Who's been spewing this nonsense? I'm gonna have to–"

He holds your arm in an attempt to ground you, "Nobody really thinks it's true though! And remember how you promised to not tell a soul about a word I told you today?"

"I don't because I never said that–!"

"Seungcheol's gonna be there tonight, too, if that helps?"

Soonyoung's clearly much more devious than you last remember him being but when he explains that this could be a win-win situation for both of you– where he makes Chaewon realize her feelings for him, you also make Seungcheol jealous with your little act. 

And while you're sure to curse the him out for his assumption that you would want to get back with Seungcheol at all to begin with, the idea does leave an impression on you. Your mind's gears are working really hard, not just because you're trying to figure out a new spread for the monthly display at the front of your bookstore, but also because you keep finding loopholes in Soonyoung's grand plan.

"But is pretending to be together for one dinner really going to convince anyone? I mean, no offense, but nobody I know will believe that."

Soonyoung shrugs, "It's not just for one night. We're obviously going to do other stuff." You scrunch your nose up in disgust. "But think of tonight as the opening night. What we do tonight determines how the rest of our lives will pan out. We could end up lonely and dreadful if one of us messes up."

– 

For all of your criticism of Soonyoung's hyperbolic description of a dubious scheme, that evening finds you making double-takes in the front camera of your phone every other minute. Yep, turns out your nose was still on your face.

"Y/N, you look great," Soonyoung calls out finally, having watched you the whole ride to the venue. It was part of his plan, of course, to make things seem more official in his words. "So can you stop?"

"Are you sure you don't like me?"

As it often happens, your own question catches you more off-guard than it does Soonyoung. Your nerves have succesfully taken over your bodily functions. 

"I don't, Y/N," he responds with an easy smile, "I don't know why you keep asking me that. Do you like me or something?"

You sigh. "Sorry. It just seemed like that for a while. But I'm glad you don't, it makes things a lot easier."

"Good," he hums and then, after a beat passes, "By the way, when all of this over and both of us are hopefully happily in love with our respective partners–"

"I'm not in love with Seung–"

"And after you're done denying your feelings– Maybe we can be friends?"

You nod with a thoughtful hum, "Sure. That sounds fine. Except I thought we were already friends?"

Conversation with Soonyoung becomes a lot less tiresome when you've both established the purely platonic basis of your relationship. Which is ironic because fifteen minutes later, he's whispering in your ear to smile as he reaches for your hand. But his presence is still comforting and you find yourself wondering why you hadn't always found it this easy to be friends with him. The thought keeps you distracted momentarily and then, you lock eyes with Seungcheol. 

You were standing next to Soonyoung when it happened, hand in his as he caught up with friends and purposefully showed off his new relationship. The news was as unexpected to them as it was to you this morning and keeps conversation busy enough to allow you to be completely zoned out. And then you spot Seungcheol across the room, his eyes fixed on you in the distance and his mouth set in an intimidating line.

You look away with a cough, feeling your neck grow warmer. Soonyoung senses the change in your mood and when he asks if you're okay, you lean into his ear and complain, "Fuck, I just made eye-contact with him." 

He breaks into a grin at your indirect admission to still liking your ex. If Seungcheol knew the context to your arrangement with Soonyoung, he would find this entire exchange heart-warming, losing it over how shy you've gotten. But he doesn't know.

So in his eyes, it just looks like you've just whispered an inside joke into another man's ear and his chuckles are out of fondness. And that's why attributes your shy flush to Soonyoung's response to you, and not the eye-contact you'd made with him seconds ago.  

Seungcheol spends the rest of the night lurking. He skirts your surroundings, his eyes in disbelief every time you don't pull away from Soonyoung's hand on you. He's confused and jealous. The combination has him malfunctioning in a corner when he spots you breaking away from Soonyoung's side for the first time that evening. 

He doesn't even spare a thought to his actions when he springs forth, trailing you to the refreshments. You're trying to refill your lemonade even though you don't really have the desire to drink it anymore, mainly because Soonyoung had approached Chaewon and it seemed like his plan was working because you'd never felt so invisible in a conversation before. 

You can feel the act tiring you out though because you don't notice it when Seungcheol sneaks up to your side, breathing down your neck and staring seriously even when you spin around and almost spill your drink all over yourself in surprise. 

"S-Seungcheol!" you groan out, flustered but relieved your dress didn't have to suffer the consequences of your weakness around him. But your heart certainly did, especially when the man stepped closer, voice few octaves lower than usual.

"What are you doing with him?"

You go silent, knowing that you should feel unsettled by the absence of friendliness in his tone but only feel yourself enjoy the way he's so obvious about his jealousy. You look back at him, trying to seem innocent but immediately hate the way his eyes have reddened. "I'm… helping Soonyoung out."

Seungcheol's expression is a big question mark at that. A big angry question mark followed by an exclamation point, if you will. "...by following him around on his arm all night?" 

"Um… yeah," you look over his shoulder to make sure Soonyoung's still occupied by Chaewon and the momentary lack of attention is already pissing your ex-boyfriend even more. You hate lying but you convince yourself that right now, you're simply witholding information from someone. 

"I don't get it, Y/N," he says, "Did I lose my chance with you?"

The question catches you completely off-guard, leaving you gaping at Seungcheol. You were used to his short-temper and his incessant questions but this was new: the solemn setting of his lips and his downcast eyes as he asked you if he still stood a chance with you. He was being vulnerable, you realized, in a way that he never was during your relationship. The change is dizzying, it really is, and you can only think of all the other ways Seungcheol's been changed since he returned.

And all the ways he's stayed the same.

You swallow against the lump in your throat, "Come with me." 

You lead him to a slightly more secluded part of the observatory, a dimly lit corner that's orchestrated by more crickets and the lack of chatter is a welcome relief to your already crowded senses. "I'm not actually with Soonyoung," you breathe out, the truth weighing heavily on your tongue even though you'd only pretended for the one night, "I'm pretending to, because he asked me to." 

Seungcheol's eyes widen, "What? You're fake-dating that guy? Why?"

"He likes Chaewon," you point them out for him over his shoulder but Seungcheol only stares at your face with a serious expression. You retract your pointer with a flushed face, "And they were apparently getting nowhere, despite both liking each other. So he figured he needed some intervention."

You point to yourself this time with a half-smile and then remember the unimpressed look on Seungcheol's face. You watch his face carefully but he remains still for over a minute. 

"Well, I'm only telling you because you asked so nicely," you clear your throat, feeling a little stupid now that he's gone mute, "Do with that what you will. I'm gonna go back…"

You pat your dress down and exhale heavily, trying to steel yourself against both the disappointment and the cold night-air. You've already rejoined the noisy crowd, only a few steps away when you pick up on Seungcheol's voice. 

"--meant nothing…" is all you can pick up so you turn around to find him at an arm's length, muttering something, too low for it to be audible. You say, "What did you say?"

"I said that the photo you saw that day meant nothing. She's Jeonghan's girlfriend and I slept with her once. I also pretended to be into her but only so I could forget about you."

More than anything, you're shocked by the way he emphasizes you, the word coming out stronger than the rest of his explanation, one that does more to soothe your nerves than you realize. But you also don't know what to with this new information, because your brain can't keep up with how much more context there might be to it– Why did he sleep with her if she's with Jeonghan? And why did he look so happy in the photo if it meant nothing?

But tonight isn't about you, it's about Soonyoung and you've made a promise to him. So you tell Seungcheol, "I've gotta get back, Cheol–" the nickname slips out before you've censored yourself. Your face burns but you turn away quickly. "I- See you later."

The crowd is so close to you, just another step or two and you could be lost in the sea of half-familiar faces and probably get caught up in catching up with someone or the other. But if the crowd is close, then Seungcheol is closer to you. 

His hands are on your shoulders, warm heat invading your exposed arms pleasantly when he holds you back with that pained look of his. At this point, you're only partly grounded in your body, floating around when you hear Seungcheol's words to you. "I'm still in love with you, Y/N. Never stopped loving you, to be honest." 

That brings you back to earth with a jerk and you blink at him slowly. "I–" you start and then trail off. Then you start again, now that reality's starting to set again. "I feel the same. Obviously. I tried to move on but– ugh, I still love you." You feel Seungcheol's arm slide down to your elbows and then to find your hands, intertwining your fingers with his like he'd imagined doing ever since he got back to town.

"So we're good?" Seungcheol asks you, licking his lips with a small smile.

"Um, well, what do you mean by that because if– I mean, if we're friends–" You're trying to think of a way to state your thoughts in a self-respectful way when he leans in, lips brushing against your with a soft sigh. Your own breath hitches, especially when Seungcheol's hands come up to cup your face with a gentleness you forgot he could muster. He kisses you, sweet and soft, and when you pull away it's with a stupid grin.

He matches your grin, "Does that make things clear? We're not friends. I want to kiss your face and it would be great if you stopped pretending to date other men–"

The mention of fake-dating has you gasping loudly as you push Seungcheol away hastily, "Fuck, I'm supposed to be with–" You turn around and no doubt, everyone rushes to look away but you know the damage has been done when you hear scattered applause and whistles. The sight is heart-warming to you in a universe where you haven't just fucked up a plan. 

"I messed up big-time," you tell Seungcheol with an exasperated groan. 

The man regards you with thinly-concealed glee, "We kiss and make up but you're complaining because…?"

"Soonyoung! I was supposed to–"

Seungcheol doesn't do anything to help when he leans in to peck your lips again. You scowl at him, "What was that for?"

"Sorry, I just forgot what I was to you for a moment there, what with you going on about another man–"

"Cheol, I just confessed my love to you," you scold him but your ears turn pink, "And you're my boyfriend. So don't forget that. But right now, I need to go find my fake-boyfriend or I'll have blood on my hands–"

You're rushing to spot Soonyoung's head in the crowd when he suddenly appears, much closer than you'd anticipated, probably because he's heading right at you. You start to feel the guilt build up in your throat but then you see the grin he's sporting and the way he's skipping toward you. 

"Soonyoung," you call out, "I'm sorry–" you gesture toward Seungcheol vaguely, "I got a little caught up."

"Ahh, don't worry about it!" the boy chuckles lightly and then crosses his arms like he does when he has something to tell you, "I'm– The plan worked!"

"What?! It did? But I thought–?"

"Yeah, well, one part of the plan was to get you and Seungcheol together?" Soonyoung reminds you with a sly smile. You feel Seungcheol's arm around you as he pipes up, "It was???" You ignore how excited he sounds and narrow your eyes at Soonyoung, "Okay, but we clearly just ruined the whole act! What about–"

"Chaewon got jealous. And then when we spotted you and Seungcheol kissing, she was about to be really mad at you but I explained things to her… and then, she was mad at me but then… um, well, we, you know, kissed it out."

"Soonyoung!" you exclaim, clapping your hands together in relief, "That's great! We don't have to date anymore!" 

Soonyoung laughs at your phrasing but you're busy being wooed by the smitten smile on Seungcheol's face when squeezes your hand, muttering, "You all mine now?" 

– 

Cue star-gazing with Seungcheol. 

It was his idea, one he'd suggested out loud to you over the dinner that was also his idea, the candle between you flickering with your breathless agreement. You were in love with Seungcheol like you'd been for as long as you remember. The break-up, creeping up into your mind thanks to a combination of a lull in your relationship with him and doubts of whether there might be someone else for both of you, seemed like a faraway event already when you resumed your life with him.

"The stars are pretty, aren't they?"

You hum in agreement to Seungcheol, fiddling with his fingers. His laughter bleeds into your body, "You're not even looking up at the sky, baby."

You shift to lay down next to him. "I was!" you defend, "But then I got scared. The stars just make me feel so insignificant. And temporary." Your voice breaks a little, "I don't want temporary."

Seungcheol wraps around you, bringing your face up to his and watching you blink the tears out of yours. "Oh, doll, you're so precious," he huffs out, running a thumb under your eyes, "I love you. Fuck being temporary, okay? I'm going to be with you forever."

"You can't guarantee that though," you mumble out.

"I know I can't. Because I could die before you or like be abducted by the aliens when they inevitably come colonize us. We all know I'd be their first pick."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Y/N, we're still together, even after we broke up," he kisses your cheek to emphasize your togetherness, "We're in love, despite it all. And that seems solid enough to me, you know? The scariest part of going into a relationship is the possibility of separating. But if we've done it before, how bad can it be?"

"What if we break up again?"

"Then we'll figure something out," Seungcheol says, "I know we will. It might not be the same as always but I promise I'll always be a part of your life for as long as I can." 

You sniffle into his shoulder, "I love you. Can you please beg the aliens to take me with you?" 

Seungcheol's laughter resounds through you yet again, a hand brushing your hair lovingly. You were finally wearing your hair down again, and it might've something to do with the way he would find a way to slip the hairtie out of its place. It sits around his wrist now, worn-out but incredibly dear to him. 

"Of course, love, anything for you." 

–  

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

the seungcheol brainrot never stops <3 i hope i've done this seungcheol justice, given what he went through in jeonghan's fic lol... anyway, i'm thinking of writing another part where jeongcheol catch up or something?? may be an interesting collision of worlds... we'll see.

[causenessus]

love notes

part 0.6. ROWDY TEENAGERS

"the pavement moves so quickly, flying high. i'll be there soon. i'll be next to you."

from new song by lowertown, left in sakai, osaka

CONTENT WARNINGS: one use of the phrase "attention whore" in a joke, one "what if i kms" type joke, mentions of hyperventilating/a panic attack, mommy/family issues, lots of comfort <3 we love found family!! but also if you don't feel comfortable reading it, that's ok!! it's not incredibly important to the plot, and i would recommend skipping everything after the tweets after the written part of this chapter :)

when the door chimes open and she hears two sets of laughter and the rain pouring outside before it quickly closes shut again, she’s quick to peek her head out. it’s eleven at night and there’s an hour until closing, which oftentimes meant her only customers were rowdy teenagers stumbling into the only place left open for a quick bite.

she smiles at the sight of the two pushing each other, trying to get the last laugh. they definitely act and look like rowdy teenagers, but they’re her rowdy teenagers. they’re breathing hard and water is dripping from their clothes like they’ve been running through the rain for hours. she grins as they take off their coats, hanging them on a nearby rack before sitting down at the counter. “you guys are sopping wet, what've you been up to?” she asks, tone light and teasing.

they share a look that only spells trouble before they burst out laughing again. “atsumu got the police called on us,” suna answers once they've calmed down while she places mugs in front of both of them.

osamu comes around the corner at the same time, drying his hands with a towel and a raised brow, “what did i just hear you say?”

a smile ghosts her own lips, the energy of the two boys in front of her rubbing off on her as she pours them tea. “thanks,” she hears suna whisper with a smile towards her before he joins atsumu in recounting their story to osamu.

“seriously? and you decided to come here? if someone comes in looking for either of you, i’m not hiding you guys,” osamu shakes his head in disappointment at the retelling. despite his words, they all know he’d cover for them if needed and they all laugh again before atsumu sneezes.

“do you guys want towels to dry off? one of you are bound to catch a cold,” she chides pushing off the counter when they both nod their heads eagerly.

she comes back and osamu is still scolding the two boys for something. she passes by him to hand a towel to atsumu first, who gives her a wink in thanks. and when suna’s hand brushes past her’s as he takes the towel, she has to hold in a breath to keep herself from reacting. her heart tightens as if she's overwhelmed, looking at him in the moment. his normally combed-out hair is damp and slightly flattened down, and the mischievous glint in his eyes is something that’s only increased throughout the years. 

perhaps it had come with the way they’d grown closer together, but she felt like she could read his emotions better, now. she could see the way adrenaline was still flowing through his veins, the way his pupils had dilated and the wide grin across his face. it was an urge deep inside of her that made her want to just come around the corner and dry his hair herself, to tell him she’s loved him since the first time she saw them. 

but instead, she only interrupts the boys’ conversations to ask if they were going to order anything, already knowing the answer. and with how frequently they came, she could already predict their orders. she disappears behind the counter into the kitchen leaving the boys to talk before she comes back out, carrying a plate and bowl.

in her absence, osamu has brought over two stools for them to sit on behind the counter. he’s sitting across from atsumu, resting the side of his cheek against his fist while he listens to his brother talk. she places the tonkatsu ramen in front of atsumu and the curry in front of suna before taking her own seat, absentmindedly picking at her fingers as she listens to the blond. she doesn’t realize what she’s doing until she feels a tap on her hand and turns back to the boy in front of her.

“you’re shaking,” he points out and she examines her own hands, watching the way they tremble.

“oh,” she says, dumbfounded, “that’s weird. i don’t know why they’re doing that.”

“i saw your twitter,” suna mentions. “something about a hike, right? and you’re working on top of that. have you eaten?”

the question surprises her, as she has to wrack her brain to even try and remember her own day, and when she last ate something. “i don’t think i’ve eaten something since this morning…”

suna raises a brow, checking his phone, “it’s almost 11:30 now.”

“yeah,” she presses her lips into a thin line at the realization. “i should probably make something for myself.” she moves to stand up before a hand on her shoulder keeps her where she is.

“stay here,” when she looks up at osamu in surprise, he only smiles, “i’ll make you something.”

she lets out a sigh of relief, “thank you, ‘samu, you’re the best.”

when he walks away, it goes silent for a moment before atsumu speaks up, shoving food into his mouth. “how come you went on a hike again?” he asks.

“i have a photography exhibit coming up soon,” she explains, playing with her apron to keep herself from picking at her skin. “it’s an assignment for one of my classes with akaashi and kenma, so we all decided to hike up a mountain to take some pictures for what we’re doing.”

“did they turn out good?” suna asks, and she tries not to fall apart under his gaze. she doesn’t want to ramble on too much about her own work, but he’s looking at her as if he’s genuinely interested in what she’s talking about, and it makes her feel a little better.

“yeah,” she says with a small smile towards him. “i posted some pictures of the flower field on my twitter, but i’m not using any of those. i have a specific theme i’m going for and we set a swing on fire for it. that one turned out pretty cool, and i actually got another picture i’m planning to use, too, but i think i’ll leave that one untitled.”

“fire?” he echoes with a perplexed look on his face.

she laughs, “we had a fire extinguisher handy and i think we had permission to do it…i kind of left that up to kenma. but i’ll show it to you later. i'm gonna mess around with the saturation before i dodge and burn it.”

he nods, “does that mean you're go back to the darkroom again? can i join you?”

she can’t help the way her lips curve into a bigger smile at the question, “yeah, i’ll be in there again but in case you come to my exhibit, i want the photos to be a surprise. do you think you'll come?”

he doesn't have the chance to respond before a plate is placed in front of her and her face lights up. it’s the same kind of curry as suna’s, and it’s one of her favorites. “thank you, osamu!” she looks up at him and he only chuckles.

“don’t mention it. it's the least i can do for my favorite employee,” he says, sitting back down while she turns back to her plate in time to see suna stealing a bite from it.

“hey! you have your own. it's the same thing,” she scolds, fighting off his spoon with her own.

he hums in response with a small smile on his face, “no, yours is better.”

she takes a bite of her own curry as she responds, “well duh, osamu’s the professional here.”

“no, i mean the one you made for me is better,” he clarifies and she freezes, her face immediately warming.

“wow. i’m right here, suna,” osamu scoffs, but shrugs playfully when she sends him an apologetic look.

“well i have credibility as a fellow chef, and i think your curry is the best i’ve ever had, ‘samu,” she defends.

“oh please, you don’t have to appease me. everyone has their own opinion, that’s just the way food is,” osamu responds, but gives her a smile in thanks for the compliment.

“you probably just think his food is good because he makes it with love,” atsumu chimes in, looking towards her while still eating his ramen, “but for me, he probably spits in my food. i like your food too, y/n. ‘cause you actually care about me and give me discounts.”

she rolls her eyes at his words before suna draws her attention back to him, “when’s your exhibit?”

“it’s exactly a week from now,” she sighs, rubbing her eyes. even the reminder of the event makes her feel exhausted, thinking about all the work she has to do between now and then. “honestly, it’s a problem. i don’t even have all my shots yet. i still need to find somewhere that i can set up the last one,” she explains further before stopping, “sorry, you didn’t ask about that.”

“that’s okay,” he reassures her, “i like hearing about the process. and i’ll be there—at your exhibit. just make sure you take care of yourself. you won’t be able to do it if you’re on the verge of passing out.” she’s sure her cheeks have flushed red at his words again, and she can only nod silently while he checks his phone, “‘tsumu, you ready to go? they’re gonna close soon, we shouldn’t hold them up.”

atsumu looks over from his conversation with osamu, blinking for a moment as he processes the question before he responds, “oh, yeah. i’m good.”

she stands up, meeting them by the register while osamu takes their trays away. she rings up atsumu first, who slips her a few notes with another wink that makes her roll her eyes. as suna is paying for his order, atsumu looks over his shoulder and gasps, “how come suna gets a bigger discount than me?”

she shrugs at his exclaim, “company policy.”

osamu comes up from behind her, following up, “i have a dedicated discount for you, ‘tsumu. you get 25% off.”

suna looks at his total, trying to do the math before he asks, “how much of a discount are you giving me?”

she turns red as osamu looks at the register screen and whistles, “damn, 75% off.”

the smile suna gives her only makes her more embarrassed and she’s quick to rip his receipt from the machine and give it to him, “see you later, rin.”

she slaps a hand over her mouth immediately as it slips out and he’s looking at her in surprise, “i’m so sorry, it just came out– i was looking at the receipt–”

“no, it’s fine. really. i don’t mind,” he cuts her off, taking the receipt and leaving a tip in her hand as well before the door chimes, signaling the exit of their last customers.

she’s left standing there with osamu at her side, her hand still reached out, the yen sitting in her open palm as she tries to process what just happened. she turns to osamu once she pulls herself together, “sorry, i can pay for suna’s food if that was too much of a discount, i promise i only do it for him.”

he laughs, shaking his head. “no, don’t worry about it. i know that’s what you always give him. akaashi eats here for free because we like him so much, so i really can’t fault you. i even put up with talking to my brother so that you guys could have a conversation. just make sure this all goes somewhere,” he pokes her forehead playfully, breaking her out of her trance as he walks past her. “now, let’s get out of here soon. do you wanna close back or front?”

she finally lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in and feels the weight lift from her shoulder, “i'll close front!"

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

SORRY FOR ANOTHER LONG CHAPTER </3 i didn't want to split it into two parts and drag it on

y/n and suna teamed up on atsumu to bully him back after his initial tweet which y/n didn't think much of. she just thought atsumu was being annoying again

hmmmmmmm i wonder who owns a convenience store and would get FLY spray painted onto it

UKAI APPEARANCE IN LOVE NOTES!!! DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT LOCATIONS in this smau he's retired and he owns a convenience store in osaka now and it has a little garage door with "fly" painted onto it now <3

while y/n and suna were off in their own world talking <3 atsumu talked to osamu instead bc my boy likes to yap and needs someone listening at all times

and osamu put up with it for y/n <3

osamu and y/n also have a very close sibling bond if that wasn't obvious

i stole akaashi's "bye cruel world" post from pinterest. i wish i was that funny. but nothing bad happened to him, he was just stressed out and wanted to pass out

y/n was NOT supposed to have a panic attack but then i almost did writing this so it happened

"mei" is short for "meimei" which is chinese for little sister but it's a term my family uses because i'm the youngest daughter so i put it in here bc i was influenced by how cool @cr4yolaas' use of filipino culture in their smau mezzo forte is!!! (shameless plug <3)

also a really silly thing but i colorcode my phone contacts into people i don't like (yellow) and people i do like (brown) through their pfps (like everyone has a brown or yellow pfp, or an animal/their face if i really like them) so i just did the same thing here but made blue the pfp picture of anyone y/n doesn't like lol

y/n has met kuroo before from when he visited kenma previously and they hit it off super well so they're always asking kenma how the other is doing

to which he always replies "why can't you guys just ask each other? 😐"

their response?

"bc it's more fun to ask you!!! ❤"

taglist: @0moonii @iluvmang @bluebeanbee @wyrcan @oyasumeii @froyaoya @gyuijns @nbcvs @milkteade @eggyrocks @guitarstringed-scars @makkir0ll @mylahrins @cherrypieyourface @vivian-555 @sharkerino @r0seandth0rns @staileykout @lunavixia @thvvluvr @elliott0o0 @wolffmaiden @rockleeisbaeeee @toges-cough-syrup @cnnmairoll @ryeyeyer @hibernatinghamster @localgaytrainwreck @lemonocity @bows4life @sereniteav @madiexuberant @eclecticeggknightpsychic @phoenix-eclipses @sonicsolos @httpakkeiji @brkfclub @snail-squasher @starry-magicshop @kitnootkat @zzzlevislothzzz @iluv-ace @iluvaquaphor @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @applepi25 @twiishaa @girlkissersco @sleepystrwbrryy @encrypta

[starrrlights]

Based on something in my notes app (copy and pasted too but edited to make sense) maybe oc Jay? Idk

you and Jason had became friends when you were on the streets, helping each other when needed and also just being there for each other. When he became robin, with #BruceWayneBenifits, he was able to help you more. Often letting you have sleepovers at the manor and hanging out. You both grow to have feeling for each other, and you were planning on telling him on his birthday or sum, but he died. So you never find out if he felt the same way or not (he does)

Time skip (5? Possibly 6 even?) Years later when Jason comes back alive and is less vengeful of his death, Jason frequently goes to old book stores to find good books to read. He goes to one frequently and the vibe felt off that day.

He thinks there might be a threat and keeps a good eye on everything. While browsing; surprise, surprise, you are there. Standing somewhat next to him. You obviously don't recognize him right away or at all from how different he looks. You're trying to find a specific book that a friend had recommended and just so happen to get closer to Jason little by little. (You have social anxiety)

You don't want to get to close to this person because of personal space and well, he's huge. Handsome looking, but huge, and a lot of scars. Which was kinda a hot look on him. You steal a few glances at him, hoping he wouldn't notice.

Jason does notice, since the Pit heightened his senses. (I think? I read it from somewhere that it did 🤷‍♀️) He finally looks over at you, expecting you to just be a normal Gothamite who is just scared of his size; when he freezes for a second. Recognizing the your hair and style almost immediately. He thinks he's hallucinating. There no way it was you.

You notice that he was looking at you and you almost shy at his gaze. Mumbling a sorry and returning your gaze to the books in front of you, but knowing that the book you're looking for is probably right in front of the man.

Jason panics a lot in the inside. Do you recognize him? Do you hate him? Are you afraid of him? He's you jaybird, why you'd you be afraid?

You mentally punch yourself and raised your voice a bit, taking a breath.

U: "I think that book I'm looking for is by you. Can I look?"

Oh my god, he's going to say no-

J: "Sure, that's fine."

God, if you could faint, you would. Not only looks handsome, but sounds handsome.

Jason on the other hand let's put a mental and physical sigh of relief, now thinking that you probably don't even recognize him. It saddens him a little at that thought but it was better, way better than having you scared of him.

He scoots over and you scoot closer, looking over more books until your predictions were right and the book you were looking for was right by where he was standing. You mutter a thank you and move so he can continue looking in the spot he was in.

He doesn't even register that you were moving away because he was so enchanted by you. you had grown up and matured. And damn did you look good. A lot better than he did in his opinion.

J: "I-uh, have me met before?"

Jason asked. 'Great going, idiot. All the romance novels you've read and that's what you come up with?' He thinks to himself.

U: "..I don't think so? What's your name?"

He's sweating bullets now. What does he say? Does he sat jason or use a fake name?

"Jason"

You've met many Jason's so you don't think about it. But there seems to be a familiar aura to him. But you can't put a finger on it. It's going to eat you up later but you put the thought to the side for now. Out of habit you stuck your hand out in a polite way.

"(Name)"

Jason almost said "I know" but bite his tongue and nodded, reaching out to shake you hand. Jesus, you hand fit so well with his. So warm and welcoming.

you and Jason talk for a bit more, it was awkward but it worked. You ended up switching numbers for "book recommendations". But you both were giggling like school girl in the inside because of it.

Over several months, you got to know Jason. And he reminded you a lot of Jason, your dead friend and crush. It saddened you a bit but you decided to not dwell on the past so much. You'll just visit his grave soon, again.

It wasn't long before Dick encouraged Jason to ask you on a date. Well, going out for coffee/fav drink bev and talk about books. You agreed and you did the date.

You had a great time. It was slightly awkward but it was just like all the other hang outs, but more special.

Jason asks you what your life is like because he wants to know what your life has been like since he was gone. He had asked before during those mothes about resent stuff, but he wanted to know more, like high-school years and such.

Boring, you said. Mostly the same thing over and over again. You told some funny stories and it made Jason want to genuinely smile. He makes up a few things to not have to talk about the Pit or dying. Or being Red Hood.

You go on a few more dates and finally, he takes you on a fancy one. (Using Bruce's card ofc)

You initially declined going on a fancy date, not really having the money or outfits for it but jason insisted and said he'd had one of his friends to go with for shopping if you needed it. (Steph or Cass idk, some fem friend he has.)

You ended up going shopping with his friend and got a nice dress.

You go on the fancy date and had a great time as always, a bit panic on the bill but jason pays for it all. He's a true gentleman for you and only you.

At this point, your bf and gf

I think jason would wait for about a year, you make sure things are secured and there is a lot of trust in the friendship/relationship before dropping hints that he is your not-so-dead best friend. He just wants you to know that he is back :(

One night, trying to sleep, it clicks for you. You immediately go to his apartment and knock on the door. He thanks whoever runs his life for the great full night of not patrolling that night and answers the door. You have tears going down your face and look puffy. He panics and asks if you're alright. You look at him with a confused but surprised lookin your face

U: "Jason Todd? ... Jaybird?"

He also has a look of shock on his face, happy that you finally got it but also scared of your reaction.

J: "... ... yeah. It's me."

U: "Oh my god..."

You stare at each other for about a solid minute and you break down, crying, hands to your face. He panics more and freezes, not knowing if they were good or bad tears. You reached out and hugged him tight. Feeling his out grown and bigger frame in your arms. You finally have your best friend back. And your dating him. You love him. And you know he loves you. All of your dreams have finally come true. Obv not financial ones but wvr.

It ends up with you cuddling jason on his bed or sum. idk.

Kinda long ngl, I have a good grasp of what his character is like but I may have a few things wrong. Pls tell me if something is ooc, I'd probably fix it or sum 🫶🏻😭

[astrobei]

hi i love your fics and I was wondering if you had any byler fic recs

thanks

hello there! in all honesty, i have not had the time to read a lot of byler fic as of late, but it’s been a while since i posted some recs so i’ll drop a few that i’ve enjoyed recently! as always, i do endorse every fic in my bookmarks to the highest possible degree, so always feel free to look through those for new reading as well <3

say it with your hands by pseudologia (@hellfiremike) — will is a new employee at the movie theater mike works at, and mike starts thirsting over will’s hands to a degree that’s downright detrimental to his employment status

GOD. this fic. i gushed in their dms immediately after finishing it because this might be my favorite modern will characterization of all time, and this is coming from someone who has a million and one takes on modern era will byers. this fic just checked all of my boxes — from the summertime romance to mike’s painfully in-character teenage angsting to will being a frequenter of star wars reddit threads and an enjoyer of sufjan stevens. and the TENSION. oh god the tension. i’ve read all their fics probably three times over each, and i also highly recommend like i am home again, a college au set during a halloween party which made me stare at my phone refreshing ao3 hourly until it updated, and can this be a real thing (can it?) wherein mike and will reunite in a gay bar. enough said

landslide by chamb3rs — the party’s senior year of high school

i don’t often reach for chaptered fics since i usually have such limited reading time, but i’m sooo so so happy i stumbled across this one. there have just been very few fics that have touched me like this one did. i blew through this in one sitting a few weekends ago and subsequently experienced the full range of human emotions (and then some) all in the span of a few hours. everything about this was perfect — the will pov, the weird liminality of transitional periods, the party and byhop family dynamics, down to my favorite portrayal of theeeee jennifer hayes in any fic ever. on top of all of that, this fic perfectly captures the heartbreaking euphoria of being in love with your best friend, and all the ups and downs that come with it. i crawled out of the ao3 tab covered in blood and my chest was hurting and i was shaking and i had damn near chewed my own arm off — and then i sent the link to my friend 10 minutes later and watched her experience the same exact thing like a train wreck in slow-mo HAHAHA

what a time to be alive by passerine_in_jade (@newlesbianprideflag) — will disappears and haunts mike from the upside down

i’m forever a total sucker for a good haunting metaphor, so it’s absolutely not a surprise that this fic is appearing on this list. the premise for this was so so so cool and interesting, and it’s another chaptered fic i’m glad i had a little extra time to read. the way the author had me rooting for mike and will the whole time even though half of the pairing was offscreen for a large majority of the fic is a highly commendable feat. mike’s unyielding loyalty to will and will’s constant faith in him felt so true to their canon selves, and there were so many moments that were so quiet and intimate and tender that i really felt like i was intruding on something. good good stuff

that’s what you get for falling in love by harriet_vane — will gets his first boyfriend in college, and mike, ever the ally, has very normal feelings about it

i want to preface this by saying that this fic is rated m, mostly just for mentions/allusions to sex, and one largely non-explicit portion of a scene in the last chapter. if that’s not your cup of tea, it’s easy to tell when it’s coming up and to skip past it without detracting from the plot, but i think it would be a greater detriment to not rec this fic at all, because it has quickly made the list of my favorite byler fics of all time. something about this take on jealous mike especially resonated with me — his inner monologue is simultaneously hilarious and depressing, and his obliviousness regarding his feelings for will feels so true to life without being overdone or cartoonish. you can tell just how much they really care for each other, and the conflict in this actually made me start crying because it felt so visceral and so fundamentally them. you can tell this author really understands their characters, and the love put into this fic is soooo palpable. it’s the kind of fic where you want to bonk their heads together to knock some sense into them, but you are helpless to do anything but hold on as you’re swung along for the ride.

finally, i try not to just rec fics written by my friends, but my recent reading list would be incomplete without these two wonderful additions:

the way you love me by strangeswift (@strangeswift) — byler exes (absolutely heartwrenching edition)

i’ve been hearing abby talk about her ideas for this fic for the better part of a year as she worked on it, and she actually edited and posted the first two chapters while i was visiting her! and by god is this world a better place with her byler exes concept in it, because if you want angst, you’ll never have to look further than her ao3 page. something about the way she writes will in this fic just makes my heart shrivel up and die in my chest — his quiet resignation, the bitterness (always love a good bitter will byers moment) and the Longing that never quite went away. mike’s characterization is also top notch, and you can really feel the chemistry between them during every interaction. at the time of me posting this list, chapter 4 is not yet up, but trust me when i tell you guys it’s going to soooooo be worth it. :-)

the end is here by bookinit (@bookinit02) — a speculative byler-centric season 5

if you’ve been following my blog for any amount of time, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that haven’s canon rewrite series is hands-down my favorite series across any pairing and fandom. her creativity with her season 5 concepts never fails to astound me — from the scripts she’s been working on as an alternative to the episodes she rewrote for s1-4, to her ideas for possible plot lines, and just incredible writing all around. i’ve had the privilege of reading through her scripts before she posts them to her blog (definitely go check them out) but special privilege bias aside, it takes soooo much skill to create such a visually powerful story in a medium that allows for such little narration, and the corresponding chapters just totally pushes it over the edge. pre-s5 required reading for every byler, and 100000% my new canon if the show doesn’t pan out

this definitely is not an exhaustive list because i have a million and one fics on my to-read, and one day i will get around to reading them all, but i hope there is something on this list that strikes your fancy!!

[sturnsbaebackup]

IS IT OVER NOW? - MATT STURNIOLO (PART TWO)

i highly recommend reading part one before you read this, which is linked here!

summary: after seeing matt at the party and admitting you still have feelings for him, things aren’t so radio silent between you two anymore.

warnings: not proof read lolll sorry if there’s typos 😛

—

immediately after the party, a week went by of still no contact from matt after your heated encounter with him.

at that party a few weeks ago, you spat out plenty of angry words at him and he did the same to you, which had been keeping you both up at night. both of you wishing you could take the entire situation back. you and matt just wanted each other, but neither of you knew how to break the silence. that was until matt decided to text you last week, asking if you wanted to go for a drive.

…

you hear your phone buzz as you begin to start falling asleep, and you groan in annoyance. you roll over in your bed and grab your phone off of the charger. your eyes nearly bulge out of your head as you see the familiar contact photo appear on your lock screen.

“what the fuck?” you blurt out, immediately sitting upright in your bed and opening his text.

matt | can i come pick you up in like 10 mins? i’m in the car and im not too far from you. we gotta talk

read 12:24 am

you take your sweet time rereading the text to make sure you’re not dreaming. it’s been pure radio silence from matt since the party, and the first thing he texts you is that?!

matt | you have your read receipts on yk

read 12:26 am

“oh fuck,” you mumble, immediately starting to type out a response. your hands are trembling a little due to all of the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

you | oops sorry but yeah ofc just text me when you’re here

he reacts to the message with a thumbs up, and you immediately bolt out of bed. you curl your eyelashes quickly and add a little bit of blush on your cheeks and nose. he knows you were about to sleep, so there’s no point in putting on obvious makeup. you grab a random hoodie from your closet and throw on some slippers. you look homeless, but who cares. it’s just matt.

that’s what you keep repeating in your head to yourself in an attempt to calm the nerves that are practically doing somersaults in your stomach.

it’s just matt. it’s just matt. its just matt. nothing to be scared of. it’s just matt.

your thoughts are broken up when your phone dings with the message of matt letting you know he’s waiting in the car outside. you exhale deeply as you lock the door behind you, shivering in the cold, late night, los angeles air. muffled music can be heard from the outside of matt’s car, and his eyes are glued to his phone. he’s just as nervous as you are, maybe even more.

your hand wraps around the door handle, and you pull it gently in an attempt to not frighten matt. his eyes look up at you and lock with yours, making your heart skip a beat.

“hi matt,” you say awkwardly as you sit in his passenger seat.

“y/n, hi,” he smiles softly, beginning to put the car in drive. you keep your eyes down at your feet as the car begins to drive away, the silence killing you internally. in previous moments like this, you both would be fighting over aux not even a minute into the car ride, but this time it’s dead silent with quiet music playing in the back.

“so, you wanted to talk?” you blurt out, your mouth moving faster than your brain.

“yeah, but i was hoping maybe we could get some mc donald’s before we have the serious conversation? you know, like old times,” he says, reminding you of the times where after a bad fight you guys would talk things out in a parking lot over a shared mcflurry and fries.

you let out a soft chuckle, “yeah okay, sounds perfect.” the silence isn’t as awkward as before, but the tension is so tense you genuinely could cut it with a knife. your thumbs fiddle in the front pocket of your sweatshirt as you wait for the traffic light to change, the mcdonald’s drive thru being at the other end of the intersection.

“can i get two oreo mcflurrys and a large fry?” matt asks the lady working the drive thru. she calculates the total and you immediately reach for your wallet to grab your card, but matt quickly stops you.

his hand now rests on your forearm, “no y/n. let me pay, i’m the one who dragged you out so late,” he smiles softly. when he notices his hand on your arm he quickly takes it off, making your heart sink a little. ‘things aren’t how they used to be, we aren’t dating, and you need to realize that,’ you mentally tell yourself.

eventually you guys get your food and pull into the far back corner of the parking lot. it’s very dimly lit but the flickering florescent street light that’s shining on matt is making the dark bags under his eyes extremely visible. you’re quick to notice them, and you instantly know he hasn’t been getting much sleep at all, and you have a guess that the reason is what he’s about to talk to you about.

he unbuckles the seatbelt and rotates in his seat, resting his back against his door facing you. “so… first of all how’ve you been?”

you pick up a fry from the bag that rests on the center console, letting it cool off between your fingers as you speak up. “i’ve been uh— you know. just living, i guess. how have you been?” you shrug, putting the fry in your mouth.

“not good, honestly. that’s why i texted you,” matt admits, looking down at his thumbs that reside in his lap. your heart drops at his statement and an overwhelming feeling of sadness rushes over you. if you and matt were still dating, you would be pulling him in a tight hug and holding his head against your chest. but you can’t do that, so you just sit and looking at him.

“what?” you ask, hoping you heard him wrong.

“i haven’t been getting much sleep. like, at all. i really miss you, and i fucked up at that party. i never should’ve been trying to make you jealous with her. that wasn’t fair to either of you, and your words keep playing through my mind every night. it keeps me up at night.”

you take a moment to process what you’re hearing, and sigh. “matt come here,” you say, putting your mcflurry down into the cupholder and leaning over the center console to hug matt. he looks up at you with sad eyes, confused at what you’re about to do, but as soon as he realizes, he immediately hugs you back.

you pull his head into your chest and rest your hand over his left cheek, making sure to hold him as close as possible. you press gentle kisses on the top of his head as your fingers play with the ends of his hair.

“i miss you, y/n. i love you so much and i’m so sorry i thought we needed space, i was so unbelievably wrong. i was just going through a weird phase for like a month and shoved you away, but i really think you’re the only person who can calm me down. you bring me back to earth, y/n,” matt mumbles against your chest.

“shh matty, it’s okay. we don’t need to talk about it yet, let’s just enjoy the moment,” you mutter into his hair softly. eventually you and matt break the hug and continue to catch up on everything you guys have missed in each others lives within the last few weeks.

“speaking of clothing— is that my hoodie?” matt asks you, sidetracking from your conversation.

you look down at the gray nike sweatshirt that rests on your body, and your cheeks flare up with heat. “oh my god! that’s so embarrassing, i had no idea this was yours. i just grabbed the first hoodie i could find. i swear i thought i gave this back to you,” you blush.

matt chuckles, “keep it. it looks cute on you. plus, you’re just gonna end up stealing all of the hoodies you gave back to me.”

“you know me so well,” you laugh as you throw a fry at matt.

“hey watch it! i just got the car cleaned!”

[spocks-kaathyra]

how did you make those holy shit!!!

jfjskdk okay I'll take any excuse I get to talk abt this more

How I made my Cardassian prosthetics

Disclaimer: I'm no expert, it's my first time doing this!! All the resources I used can be found online. In fact, here's a playlist of all the youtube videos I followed, in case you don't want to read the whole post. You can pretty much make any facial prosthetics following these steps, not just Cardassian ones.

What you'll need:

Plaster bandages, plaster of Paris (a lot more than is pictured here), modeling clay, and liquid latex. You'll also need some things you probably already have around the house, like vaseline (or cooking oil), plastic wrap, wood glue, rubbing alcohol, q-tips, cotton balls, and setting powder (or baby powder).

Step 1: Face cast

The goal here is to make a plaster copy of your face that you can sculpt your prosthetics on, by covering your face with plaster bandages and then casting that in plaster of Paris. This is the video tutorial I followed for this step. There are many methods, and you'll find tutorials for all of them on youtube, but this is the easiest way if you're doing it by yourself, and it results in a perfectly useable face cast for our purposes. And, if you're cosplaying Garak like me, it's a great way to get into character by experiencing claustrophobia for the first time in your life!! (Jk it's not actually that bad. I lived.)

The video explains the process better than I could, but here's some tips I learned from doing it! Wear a shirt that you don't mind ruining. Go a bit closer to your eyes than I did here. When you're propping up your mask in a bowl, make sure you're not squishing any parts of it or tilting it! I ended up with a dent in the chin of my face cast because I accidentally dented the mask while I was casting it. And make sure you have enough plaster of Paris! I probably used 2-3 pounds for this part. Here's what I ended up with, before sanding or sealing it with wood glue:

Step 2: Sculpting

This is pretty self explanatory, but also probably the hardest part. Just use lots and lots of reference photos. I've got a pretty good stash for Garak, if anyone's interested hdjkfhk. I found that gifs made better references than still photos, since they give you a better sense of the 3D shape. You want to make sure you're using modeling clay that doesn't dry. You don't need any fancy sculpting tools! I used my trusty palette knife to get the small details, but you could probably accomplish the same thing with, like, a spoon and a toothpick. It depends on what kind of clay you're using, but you can dip your finger in a solvent to smooth out the surface of the clay and blend the edges into the face cast. I used rubbing alcohol, but I also heard people recommend acetone. Once you're happy with your sculpt, you can move onto the next step!

Step 3: Casting negatives

This step is technically optional. The video I followed also outlines an easier way that skips this step, by simply building your prosthetics directly on the sculpt. But casting negatives allows you to get a lot more fine detail, and a smoother finish on the final prosthetics, so that's what I chose to do. Basically, you pour plaster of Paris over your sculpt, and it hardens into a mold you can use to build your prosthetics on.

Again, the video explains it better, but some tips! If it's possible with your sculpt, do it in small pieces instead of the whole face at once. I did the chin, nose, and forehead separately. If you try to do the whole face, there's a greater chance of it getting stuck or breaking. Of course, if you were doing, say, Odo, then it might not be possible to do it in multiple pieces. Another thing to watch out for:

If your underlying face cast has any "undercuts," or places where it's, like, concave, then if plaster gets into those areas and hardens, your face cast and your negatives will lock together, and you won't be able to use either of them. For me I was worried about the sides of my nose and under my bottom lip. As long as those parts are filled in with clay, then you should be fine. It's okay if your clay sculpt has undercuts! You can see in the (shamelessly stolen) diagram that their sculpt has a lot of undercuts, but that's okay because the clay is soft and won't lock with the plaster, it'll just come off. The video I got the diagram from was also pretty helpful, even if it's meant for casting with different materials than I used. Here are the completed negatives:

Step 4: Making the prosthetics!

Now you have negatives! Your sculpt may or may not be intact, but if your negatives turned out okay then that's fine. This step is also covered in the video for step 3. Using a stippling sponge, foam brush, or q-tip, stipple thin layers of liquid latex onto your negatives. I found that a q-tip worked best, even if it took longer to cover larger areas. Make sure the edges are very thin, so you can blend them into your skin when you apply the prosthetics. Wait for a layer to dry before adding more latex on top of it, or you'll end up with fucked up results like I had:

(Left: first draft, where I didn't let it dry enough before layering more. Right: second draft. Much better!)

Build up bulky areas with pieces of cotton balls, then cover the cotton with a thin layer of latex. Emphasis on thin! It'll take forever to dry if you saturate your cotton with too much latex. This step mostly involves a LOT of waiting. When the latex is fully dry, brush everything with a liberal amount of setting powder or baby powder to prevent the latex from sticking to itself as you peel it out of the mold.

And now you have your prosthetics! You can tear away some of the excess latex at the edges to make it fit your face better. I ended up tearing away almost all of the edges around the eye ridges, so it would blend better and I wouldn't have to get adhesive so close to my eyes. Tear, don't cut! It'll result in a more natural edge that's easier to blend. This video shows how to apply prosthetics. Use whatever prosthetic adhesive you want! I used spirit gum because it's what I had on hand.

Now you can go forth and live out your lizard alien dreams!!

[octomae]

okay i beat side order for real this time :3 rainbow infinity... autistics (me) are winning

my tips and strategy under the read more (now with more chip tips since i posted this the day before):

Low Hacks 8's Palette

Hacks (x3): 3 Lives total, Armor recovery 10 seconds, Risky Rewards (18 chips) Strategy: Focus on splash damage, splash radius, explosions, knockback, bombs, ect.

General tips:

Hard and rigorous levels are hard and rigorous. I died on a hard level my first time running 8s palette like a week or so ago and it was... humbling.

ALWAYS have an escape route. Ink the walls. Stay AWAY from corners. The walls of the level are okay but do NOT back yourself into a corner.

Get a bomb you WILL USE. My preferred bomb in the tower is burst bomb (takes little ink, good for inking right away), so I got that from a vending machine.

Splashdown special is good for both taking out enemies quickly and knocking enemies back. I recommend keeping it for the strat I used, unless using it is like your worst nightmare. Don't hinder yourself if that's the case, but it does work extremely well with this strategy.

Don't be afraid to run away from a hoard. Ink with tap shots if you must just to give yourself some ground, but don't be afraid to just book it.

While in the level, stay on the move. Don't take risks; take your time to do it safe and cautiously.

Keep an eye on your membux. It's 100 to skip 1-9, 500 to skip 11-19, 1000 to skip 21-29. I don't recommend skipping early levels unless the chips offered are bad.

Unless a chip you're hunting for/need for your run shows up, take the vending machine floors, even if you don't plan to buy anything.

Don't be afraid to give up and start over if the chips you've got from 1-9 aren't preferable to progress with.

Chip tips:

Knockback (purple chip) and Explosion Knockback (purple chip) are VERY HELPFUL. You want to keep enemies AWAY from you. Just one of either will be enough, two of either won't hurt but palette space is limited and you'll want other chips.

Working together with knockback, Lucky Bomb Drop (green) is also extremely helpful. Just one helped me a lot. Two was definitely worth it. I'd almost say this chip is required.

Working together with knockback and lucky bomb drop, Splash Radius (orange chip) affects bombs and popped portals. Try and get at least one, it'll help you with Smollusk.

Sticky Ink (purple chip)/Poison Ink (red chip) are both very good. One of each is good, but I don't recommend stocking up on them, unless you're having trouble hunting damage chips down. Stock up on whatever sticky and poison you can in that case.

For 8s palette, Main Damage (Close) (red chip) is much better than Main Damage (Distant) (red chip). I completely skipped the latter and did just fine with 3 main damage (close).

Try to get at least one Main Firing Speed (red chip), it'll save you a little bit of a headache and help damage enemies faster and ink turf faster. If you grab more than one, try to get any of the ink saver or ink recovery chips (purple chips)

Splash Damage (red chip) would have been helpful for me since I was focused on explosions for my run, but I didn't actually ever get any. However, if you're doing my strat, it definitely wouldn't hurt to nab a few of this chip.

Just one Main Ink Coverage (orange chip) will help you a lot, assuming you've got sticky/poison ink.

Give Pearl the Drone Splat Bomb (teal chip) so she can actually help you instead of floating around doing nothing. Don't worry about any other drone chips. Upgrading her bomb at least once won't hurt you, but it's not preferable.

Other chips that won't hurt you if you can't find the above chips:

Ink Damage (red chip) - actually not preferable for 8s palette, since it takes a large amount of them to actually show results. however, if it's the only damage chip you can find, get it

Special Charge Up (orange chip) - never hurts to stock up if you can't find damage chips

Hindrance Damage (orange chip) - if you've got more sticky ink and poison ink than other damage chips, this one will help you the most

Disc Piece Drop (green chip) - worth it to nab at least one

Canned Special Drop (green chip) - also worth it to nab at least one

Armor Drop (green chip) - definitely won't hurt to grab one if you need it

Splat Ink Recovery (purple chip) - always worth it

Ink Saver (Main) (purple chip) - extremely good for balancing against how fast your ink goes if you've got more than one main firing speed chip

Ink Saver (Sub) (purple chip) - SUPER HELPFUL if you're focusing on bombs

Ink-Recovery Rate - untold amounts of helpful

Mobile Ink Recovery (blue chip) - not preferable, but useful for a not so preferable run

Mobile Special Charge (blue chip) - same as above. this one doesn't hurt either

Squid Attack (blue chip) - only recommended if you're good at performing squid rolls

Main Piercing (orange chip) - not preferable, but useful

Ink Attack Size (orange chip) - not preferable, but useful

[toscrollperchancetomeme]

Is there a life after IwtV Season 2?

So, Interview with the Vampire Season 2 is over, you have already rewatched it a dozen times and don’t know what to do with yourself?

Here’s a list of suggestions!

Read the books

I might be biased because I have been a fan since the early 2000s, but they are genuinely worth a read. A lot of people struggle especially with the first book, which I understand – but you can absolutely skip it and start right away with The Vampire Lestat! Especially The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned are a great read and they are what is coming up next in the show. A lot of the plot of QotD happens at the same time as The Vampire Lestat, so I expect that material from both books will come up in the next season.

If you have a brain that enjoys audio books, they are actually available for free on youtube (though the narrator pronounces Louis’ name wrong). The version on the commercial audio book platforms read by Simon Vance is better though, if that’s an option for you. :)

The books after that are very much a mixed bag, but they all have some great and some downright crazy stuff in them, because Anne Rice’s writing was pretty unhinged at times. It’s a ride, but imho one worth taking.

Watch reaction videos on YouTube

I think I have by now watched all reactions that are available. For me it really brings a lot of joy to relive the experience of a first-time watch by proxy. Some are frustrating because people talk over important dialogue, some hold genuine galaxy brain moments by people who know nothing of the material. I will not recommend anyone, because vibes vary for everyone, but I’m sure there’s a reactor out there that YOU will vibe with.

Watch other shows/movies with the actors

Did you know that “Talk Radio”, written by and starring Eric Bogosian is available in full on youtube? I haven’t watched it yet, but I hear it’s really good.

For Sam Reid, I can’t recommend “Lambs of God” highly enough, and I hear great things about The Newsreader, which I sadly can’t get my hands on at the moment. “Belle” is also a beautiful movie, but his part is rather small as far as I remember.

Then of course there’s Hotel Portofino for Assad (but I’m not yet that desperate).

I actually haven’t watched anything with Jacob Anderson except Game of Thrones, which I will NOT rewatch, so I’m happy for suggestions there!

Watch the movies that have been namedropped by Rolin Jones

Hedwig and the Angry Inch – a phenomenal movie and stage show in its own right. It’s fun, it’s beautiful, it’s queer as fuck, the music is excellent and it’s an absolute must-watch.

Rocky Horror Picture Show – honestly, if you have never seen this movie, what are you waiting for?

The Dirt – Rolin Jones has mentioned the book, but there was actually a pretty decent movie made about Mötley Crüe a few years ago, that I really enjoyed.

Also, I have seen Amadeus mentioned several times, I’m not sure if that came up in an interview but it’s an excellent movie and the parallels to the relationship between Lestat and Armand are definitely there.

Honorary mention: Fight Club, not because anyone has mentioned it but… the parallels warrant an essay that I might one day have to write. (Themes: Queerness of male on male violence, imaginary boyfriends, idealization of toxic masculinity)

Read the books from Rolin Jones' reading list

I have now spent 10 minutes googling for that interview where he lists the books he’s reading for Season 3, but can’t find it. Someone please drop it in the comments?

Learn French

Want to feel closer to your favorite actors? Why not go through the same hell as them and get bullied by the Duolingo owl while at it? ❤

Discord servers

I’m not active there right now, but I have found several fandom servers that seem like great communities.

Read Fanfic

Honestly the reason this is down here is because it’s so obvious. :)

Get creative

Write fanfic, draw fan art, roleplay, edit videos, make unhinged memes!

And always: Support the content creators!

Everytime I scroll the tag I see new creators entering the fandom and let me tell you, after almost 20 years of drought, I am overjoyed. Same goes for fic writers, youtube reactors and reviewers! Leave them a like, a comment or whatever is available on the platform they are using.

Edit:

Watch the musical!

I completely forgot! There’s a Lestat musical by Elton John. Yes, you read that right. This lovely YouTube account has full bootlegs for you to enjoy some camp broadway fun!

[barbatusart]

Do you have a recommendation for a specific book of your work for folks who showed up for your Bg3 stuff? (Also if you read the parts out of order would that be an issue?)

welcome aboard!!! thank you so much for checking my bg3 stuff out, it's a pleasure to have you

as i said in my other post over here, im predominantly an extreme horror artist! i 100% decline to call myself an eroguro artist because personally i dont find the kind of gore & horror i do particularly erotic, but im super fascinated with the horrors of the body & the darkness of the general human experience, so thats the kind of stuff i tend to make. it isnt the worst most heinous Ever you'll find out there, but im fully aware that it's A Lot, so everything i make with @meanbossart is thoroughly warned for so nobody goes into our body of work unaware & gets a nasty shock.

bg3 in particular goes some pretty dark routes (some bits in a dark urge run even made me kinda reel back and go "jesus"), so id say for people coming in from bg3 your mileage may heavily vary. if torture & really extreme body horror doesnt bother you, you may be OK with SAD SACK (sus.space/sadsack) and its current wip sequel SORTIE (sus.space/sortie), but i would still recommend reading each book's individual content warnings thoroughly before choosing to spend any money. (everything is paywalled to further deter minors.) if you're on the fence about how much horror content is too much for you, or if you're curious about these titles but find the content warnings to be concerning, my DMs on tumblr+twitter and my IMs are always open if you have any questions about particular CWs or even need specific page numbers so you can either skip that bit of gore or be informed enough to approach the page number(s), take a Deep breath, and proceed when youre ready! for these 2 titles in particular, unfortunately they do have a linear story, so to fully grasp what's going on requires reading the books in order. again if it's something youre curious to the point of wanting to try but on the fence about, i am always welcoming of inquiring DMs to help make the experience thrilling + chilling but Not genuinely upsetting.

if you're OK with a little violence and body horror but not as splatterfest as these titles, im currently chipping away at the preliminaries for my giant project LOVOS4017 (lovos4017.the-comic.org) which is a love letter to TNG scifi and 80s cyberpunk anime. im currently on pause with the roughs since last year due to COVID frontline burnout, but ive by no means abandoned it; this IP is my baby that ive been workshopping the show bible for for over a decade & i want to see it through to the end B)

finally if you would like to read our work but want to avoid gore and extreme violence entirely, we do have some stuff that is violence-free! POOPPIX@YAHOO.COM (suscomics.itch.io/pooppix) is a comic with a really bonkers premise but no violence and no visible onscreen poop i promise about finding genuine human connection over unusual shared interests on the internet. ATTACK DOG (suscomics.itch.io/attackdog) is also a short solo comic i did myself about sex, quasi-submission fetish, & the requirements of true love (theres some mild gooey body weirdness but no gore i promise)

overall i thank you for showing interest in what @meanbossart & i do! we tend towards strange & unusual premises and presentations, but i hope that you find something within our body of work that entertains you. if you every have any questions about anything, please please please feel free to DM me at any time; my goal in life is to entertain & provoke thought!

[rayless-reblogs]

Goldstone Wood and the Oddness of Christian Fantasy

Princess Varvare in a kingdom of roses

I want to share some illustrations inspired by the Tales of Goldstone Wood series by Anne Elisabeth Stengl. It's a Christian fantasy series that I really like. Give me a moment to talk about that – unless you absolutely love Christian fantasy, all Christian fantasies, in which case, maybe skip this.

I spent a chunk of the early 2000s defending fantasy as a genre to a variety of Christians I ran across – not the majority, but still a variety of them – both in my head and to their faces. The preacher who said, from the pulpit, that Harry Potter was Satanic. Writers explaining why JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis were (of course) okay, but all other fantasy novels were suspect. Websites that dissected the occult symbolism you never realized was buried in fantasy media. My friend who frowned at me in concern and said she wouldn't want to have to explain to God why she read “that kind of thing” when she met him after death.

This is Rosie (and her goat Beana, who talks.) I love Rosie utterly, she tries so hard and she feels things so much. The next image is a spoiler, showing her unveiled.

I think that's partially why I'm interested in the genre of Christian fantasy, this attempt to make these two things fit. For me, the fusion often doesn't work. Either writers mix theology and fantasy in a weird confusing way. (Wait, you just had your heroine marry an angel. Do you actually think that happens? Which parts of this actually reflect your belief system?) Or they play things extremely safe and traditional. (Oh boy, another story about a young farm boy who's going to go on a quest and fight the Satan figure and become a hero while his girlfriend does... something peaceful off-screen.) Or they try to be another Lewis in the belief that since Lewis and John Bunyan did it, allegory is an acceptable vehicle for fantasy, and let's be really obvious about the symbolism. (I bet this demon symbolizes evil.) I read Christian fantasy, but it's partially optimistic curiosity, it's partially pessimistic irony, and I haven't found many that I'd recommend.

Rosie unveiled.

But I do like Tales of Goldstone Wood, at least what I've read so far (still missing a few of the installments). I like it enough that I would recommend it to a Christian who wants to read fantasy, or a fantasy reader who doesn't mind Christian themes. Anne Elisabeth Stengl often approaches the Christian elements indirectly, from less obvious angles, so you don't have all the heavy-handed symbols you see in the Lewis and Tolkien knockoffs. She has many, many interesting female characters and a lot of humor. Her series also builds, adding complexity to the world and characters with each installment, many of the characters showing up in multiple books.

Varvare and the unicorn. This unnamed unicorn is one of my favorite elements of the third book – beautiful but dangerous and eldritch. Corrupted – but not exactly evil.

Stengl's also not afraid to get weird and fey with her fantasy elements, at times reminding me strongly of things like Labyrinth, The Neverending Story, and no end of Celtic and European folklore. Her magical characters are unpredictable, merry, fearsome, and unabashedly over the top. Her heroes have depth, flaws to go with their heroism, and never become morally perfect even after their conversions – unlike in so much Christian fiction. Much of Christian fantasy bears the thumbprint of CS Lewis; in Stengl's case, though her writing shows clear nods to Lewis (and not just his Narnia books), she isn't trying to replicate him. These aren't books that Lewis would have written.

Daylily and Lionheart. If the series has a protagonist, it's probably Lionheart there on the right. He seems to be doomed to keep showing up in different story arcs, and he's always interesting.

I recommend you begin with the first one, Heartless. Though Heartless is the least ambitious/unique entry – it's straightforward and, of all of the books, the most directly allegorical. (I bet this guy's the Jesus figure. Yep, yep he is.) But it lays the foundation for the world and establishes many of the central characters, including my favorite Eanrin, the blind cat-shapeshifting bard-knight with the heroism of a knight, the selfishness of a cat, and endless flair. Stengl does explore Christian themes, but at the same time she clearly wants to create beautiful language, memorable characters, and engrossing stories. The stories and characters don't feel secondary to the message.

Eanrin, I like him a lot. He also shows up in almost every book, at least the main books, sometimes pre-injury, sometimes post-.

My favorite book is Starflower, the fourth, because of its courageous heroine (who grows into the librarian-knight Imraldera we see in other books), its twisted echoes of “Beauty and the Beast” and Till We Have Faces, and its focus on, who else, Eanrin in his younger years, before he's really gotten that whole hero thing worked out.

Imraldera. (She's looking at Eanrin.) The series is allegedly over, but I feel like there are still some narrative threads hanging, including with Imraldera here. My hope is that the author returns to the series someday.

As with any recommendation, this isn't a blanket recommendation; you may find things in here you don't like. I don't sign off on every element as perfect. But Christian fantasy is a small genre, it's a weird genre, in my opinion it's often a clumsy genre. Goldstone Wood is proof that it can produce interesting, original material – stuff not merely “good for a Christian fantasy”, but just a good series, period.

[justmeinadaze]

Secret Sinners: Part of the Head Filled With Demons AU (Steddie X You)

Continuation of this here

A/N: I bare you a gift :) I'm putting it in the Head Filled with Demon's Masterlist because I don't anticipate this being too long but definitely more to come!

Warnings: Demon Soft Dom Steddie and Sub Fem Human Reader, SMUT, light choking, dirty talk, threesome (of course), FLUFF, the love each other, an old friend comes to visit, ANGST, brief mentions of homophobic behavior within our realm and theirs, Stevie is insecure about his relationship with Eddie (mentions fears of losing him), brief talk about grief and deaths of the readers parents, these three get into a bit of a fight (more of a disagreement). I think that's all.

I would highly recommend reading the previous series before starting this one if you haven't already. It explains about the AU they are in and other things.

Word Count: 5871

"Just a couple secret sinners...Yeah, she's just what he eats for dinner."

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“No but I trust you two.”, you giggle.

Since being released from their eternity trapped in the stone, things between the three of you had been going exceptionally well. You had travelled a lot and shown them all the things they missed out on. So much had changed over the years so seeing the evolution of towns and cities they had been privy to during different time periods now had a new look. 

There were a bunch of accommodations Eddie and Steve had to make now that they were free. The hardest one was finally being seen. When someone would address them, it would take them awhile to grasp that the person was speaking to them. Because they were still in your realm, they had to wear their masks almost 24/7 and you knew it killed them to not be themselves. This is why you suggested little things like tonight. 

While camping in a remote countryside for the night, you recommended that they spread their wings and fly. Eddie thought it would be fun to show you what it was like so you agreed.

“Ok, you have to hold on to me tightly, honey.”

Wrapping your arms around Steve’s neck, you jump into his own and smile as his wings break free. Shifting your gaze towards the long-haired demon, your grin grew when you saw he had fully converted back to his demon form. Steve had done the same to a point so his skin wouldn’t hurt yours as you clung to him. 

“Here we go.”

You squealed as you keened into his neck and wind abruptly rushed around you. 

“You’re not going to see anything if you keep your eyes closed, sweetheart!”

Daring a peak, your heart skipped a beat when you saw how high you three were but became distracted when you noticed the smiles on both their faces. Just to be able to roam free was exciting in itself but to be themselves again with you was a new kind of euphoria that they would never take for granted. 

Landing on a water tower, Steve placed you carefully on your feet before hovering in front of you. 

“You should fully change like he did.”

Nodding, he takes your suggestion and you beam up at him as Eddie slowly descends beside his side. 

“It’s still amazes me you aren’t afraid of us like this.”

“I mean, you still look like you just with rougher, dark skin, red eyes, wings, and horns.”

“Oh yeah, totally. Just those little differences.”, the long-haired demon teases.

“I’m sorry you guys can’t be yourselves all the time. I wish you could go home.”

Steve flies closer and caresses your cheek with his thumb. 

“But then we wouldn’t be able to be with you.”

“Come on, pretty girl. Let’s head back so you can eat something.” Eddie changed a bit so he could take you in his arms. “Do you trust me?”

“No.”, you laugh as he smiles. 

“That’s fair.” His grip on you tightens as he flies off, spinning in the air as he jets forward. 

“Eddie, don’t scare her!”

“She’s fine! As long as she doesn’t throw up on me!”

***

You will never get used to the euphoria they make you feel when they make love to you and you’re completely ok with that. With every kiss, touch, and thrust of them inside you, your body comes to life and you feel like you would do anything for them. With your ex you thought you were in love, but these demons (your demons) showed you what being loved and being in love was really like. You couldn’t get enough. 

Clinging to Eddie’s shoulders, you mewled as his breath warmed the shell of your ear and he pumped his hips harder, hitting your g-spot roughly.

“Yes, Edward. Just like that, baby.”

“Like that, princess? Fuck you feel so good.”

Steve, having had his release long ago, kissed along both your bodies from beside you, his hands finding purchase anywhere they could land. 

Every time they were able to be themselves, the demon libido took over and you loved when it did. They could go for hours and at times when you were too worn out to continue they would play with each other. 

Those first few months, you noticed Steve was still slightly afraid that Eddie would no longer need him intimately anymore but the long-haired demon squashed that notion any chance he could reminding his friend that they were now more than. Sometimes it would be something small like Eddie holding his hand or running his palm along the demon’s back as they sat there and watched you eat a meal. Other times it was a grand gesture like randomly cupping his cheeks and bringing his lips to his own or smacking his ass in front of room full of people making Steve blush while you two giggled. 

Your fingers tangled in Eddie’s long wavy mane as you trembled beneath him, moaning his name as you came. His lips danced with your own while he fucked you through it and chased his own high. Growling and grunting, he soon followed, releasing his spend deep inside of you. 

The cool night air hit your sweaty skin as he rolled to your side and adjusted the blanket to cover you up a bit more. 

“Next place we stop at should be a hotel so you can shower and all that.”

“So I can shower?”, you laugh as you smile up at him. “Steve, now that you’re out in the world again, you get dirty to and can smell!”

Eddie quietly chuckles beside you as his fingers absently roamed along your body.

“Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean.”, he sasses as he turns onto his back and gazes up at the sky.

“During your war, did you guys sleep outside like this?”

“Yeah but our sky isn’t as pretty as yours.”, Eddie replies as he rolls onto his back as well. “We don’t have stars. Also, because of the battles and everything usually there was smoke in the air.”

“What was it like before cities and skyscrapers in my realm?”

“The first time we were summoned was around the late 1600s. At night while he slept, we looked out into the countryside and the grass was bright green, illuminating even in the dark. The way the trees moved when the wind blew was just gorgeous.”

“Sometime in the 1700s, we were near the water. I always thought the boats were fascinating. They reminded of stories my uncle would read to me when I was a kid. The sound of the waves crashing and smelling the salt of the ocean at night was amazing.”

“That sounds beautiful. I wish…I wish I could have…seen it all with…you.”, you mumble as your eyes start to get heavy with sleep. 

They both smile as they watch you drift off. Now that they were no longer in the stone, they were able to sleep but it took some getting used to like everything else. They had always assumed it was part of their curse that they never got tired or slept while in stone. Those first few nights of freedom they tried to keep their eyes open and on you, fearing something may happen if they weren’t alert. 

You assured them you were safe but always allowed them to do what they needed to feel comfortable. Normally they would just pull you close like a teddy bear which you definitely didn’t mind but more and more frequently they seemed content with just having any body part on you as they slept. Tonight, Eddie rolled on to his side and threw his arm over your stomach while Steve nuzzled into your side, pressing his nose to your cheek as he placed his own arm over the other demon’s. 

##############

“Oh, wow. Steven, look at this.”, Eddie beckoned at the other demon as his eyes widened in amusement. “These guitars are exceptional.”

You grin as he took in all the instruments in front of him at the museum you were visiting. This had been your favorite part of traveling with them; seeing them take in and learn all the new things around them. Steve so far was completely flabbergasted with technology. Of course, they saw summoners use or utilize any device that was available at the time but for them it had been confined to the knowledge within the area they happened to be in. Add in the fact that they would go decades without being called, sometimes they missed evolutions entirely. 

Eddie loved looking at and listening to music from any time. On your adventure, you three had stopped at a few bars where different types of bands would play and his eyes would light up like a kid listening to a story being read to them. 

“That thing you do when you play, can you do it with any instrument or is it a specific guitar?”, you ask. 

“Um, so far it’s any guitar. I’ve honestly never tried other stuff.” 

Steve abruptly straightens up as his head swivels to look around him. 

“What?”, the other demon inquires becoming more alert as well. 

“Someone’s here who doesn’t belong.” He grabs your hand and the three of you run out into the parking lot as you fumble for your keys.

Abruptly, you feel arms wrap around your waist and you gasp as your hoisted into the air. You can’t see who or what is holding you but you know you’re flying as the wind slaps you face. 

You scream as you’re let go of but are immediately caught by a winged Eddie as you both tumble to the ground. 

“Sweetheart, fuck that hurt. Are you okay?!”

“Yeah…I…who…what happened?”

Hearing the growls, you both turn just as Steve rises to his feet after having tackled the creature that grabbed you to ground and pins it to the grassy earth below him. 

“Jesus. Took you long enough!” The demon’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he lifted off the helmet blocking the person’s face and was met with a big grin. “You’ve gotten slower, old man.”

“Dustin? Holy shit.”

The boy laughed as he fell forward to hug him before helping him to his feet.

“Dustin?”

“Hey, Edward.” Their friend wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in for a hug before turning to you. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I had a good grip on you but I wasn’t prepared for the tackle landing. I’m Dustin.”

“Y/N. I’ve heard a lot about you.”, you smile but hesitate to shake his hand when you notice the demon skin. 

“Oh, shit. Different world. Um, hang on.” Red light flashes as the young boy transforms in front of you to look more like the men beside him. “There we go.”

He beams proudly when you’re able to greet him and goes the extra mile of kissing the back of your hand. 

“Alright, kid.”, Steve chastises as he pulls on the demon’s collar. “Last I checked you have a wife. This one is ours and speaking of…” Dustin flinches when his huge palm hits the back of his head. “You could have hurt her. You have to be more careful.”

“Hell, you’re lucky we didn’t kill you.”, Eddie scolded. “What are you doing here?”

“Does this realm have a bar. I have some news for you.”

#############

“God this is fucking delicious. What is it called?”, Dustin asks as he slams down his third empty glass. You learned from the boys that demons like them have a pretty high tolerance since the alcohol from their realm was a lot stronger than what you had here. 

“Beer. Now, for the fourth time, WHY ARE YOU HERE?!”, Steve asks sternly making the young demon smile at you. 

“They haven’t changed.”, he chuckles. “I’ve been looking for you two for a while now. Things have shifted back home. The king passed away.”

“Chrissy’s dad died?”, Eddie inquired as he leaned forward while you reached for his hand under the table.

“Yeah about 100 some odd years ago. Things got bad after you two disappeared.”, Dustin sighed. “Actually, it was after pretty boy prince vanished—”

“Henry?”

The boy’s eyes widen in amusement, seemingly impressed by your question. 

“Yes, wow. Um, so Henry went missing a few years after you both and while they were hunting for you, people were hunting for him. During that time another war broke out as the two kings fought for power and dominion.”

“Who won?”

“Essentially, no one. Both sides lost so many people…including your father, Steven.”

Your worried eyes scanned him over as his gaze shifted to the void in front of him. 

“What about Robin?”

“She’s safe; kicked a bunch of asses of course. Your uncle to, Ed. He helped watch out for the younger ones and trained them, kind of becoming like a surrogate dad.”

“Sounds about right.”, he grins. 

“Our people came out on top and have actually been in relative peace for the last 200 years. Robin and I still manage the militia but we haven’t needed them. Henry’s dad gave up looking for him—”

“And they won’t find him anytime soon.”, Eddie adds; his fingers squeezing yours.

“BUT the boys and I did some research and found out what happened to you two…how you were trapped in that stone… when our soldiers came back empty handed it gave some truth to the narrative which also helped us to prove your innocence, Edward.”

Both Steve and Eddie’s eyes shot up towards the young demon as he smiled. 

“Yeah, we were able to prove that you didn’t kill Chrissy and it was most likely Henry.”

“It was. He showed us how he did it to.”, you added.

“Before he died, the king pardoned you both and said that you could come home.”

Both their mouths dropped before the turned to you and noticed you were smiling. 

“Wow…that’s amazing. You two really are free now.”, you murmured as you tried to keep your demeanor in check. “This is fantastic.”

“Hey, um, kid can you give us a moment.”

Nonchalantly, the boy shrugged as he got up to get a refill, completely unaware of the bomb he had just dropped amongst you three. 

“You have to go back.”, you whispered.

“We…we can’t take you with us, Y/N. You would die as soon as you entered our realm.”

“Then you have to leave me—”

“No.”, Eddie growled. “No. I’ve had this situation come up enough when it comes to losing you except this time I actually have a fucking choice. My answer is no.”

“Ma-Maybe…this was inevitable. I mean… how long do your people live? I would grow old and die while you guys lived another few thousand years…”

As you glanced between them, you noticed their eyes were closed as they tried to keep their masks in control. 

“We can find a way, Y/N.”, Steve seethed through gritted teeth. 

“How? How, baby?”

“I don’t know!”, he bellowed in his deep demon voice that caused some patrons to turn. 

“See? At least back home, you can be yourselves again. You won’t have to hide. You both have spent so many years running and hiding. Then you were imprisoned… you deserve to go home.”

“No. We deserve you, the woman that saved us.”, Eddie replied trying to keep his own voice in line. “And believe it or not, sweetheart, but there are other factors to consider besides us leaving you behind.”

“What do you mean?”

“Demons in our realm…wouldn’t exactly…understand us.” He gestured between himself and Steve as the other demon snapped his head towards the window doing everything he could not open his eyes to reveal the red beneath them.

“What? Why?”

“Pfft, does your kind?”, Eddie scoffed. “We’ve spent years hearing the hateful rhetoric in your world. Remember, we had a summoner kill his boyfriend’s father so they could be together. Add in the fact that, once again, I’m the fucking commoner fucking royalty.”

The growl that comes from Steve’s chest is almost too loud to ignore as red quickly flashes through the bar and he runs towards the door before flying into the sky not caring if anyone saw him. Eddie chuckled as he rose to his feet and tugged at your hand. 

“Princess, can you lead me outside so we can follow him? I have a feeling this is going to be one of those fights and I wouldn’t want to draw any more attention.”

***

You two found Steve back near where you had camped the previous evening, completely transformed into his demon appearance as he paced and fumed. 

“Fuck you!”, he screamed as soon Eddie’s feet touched the ground. “Is that how it would be when we got back?! Is that how you would see me?! As someone who’s above you?!”

“Excuse the fuck out of me for speaking the truth. You WERE above me, Steven. We may have been best friends but your rank and father’s position had you at a higher status.”

“So if we went home, things would go back to how they were?! We would just pretend then?!”

Dustin landed beside you with a beer in his hand, offering you some that you decline. 

“Am I missing something?”, he whispers.

“Yes, Dustin! You missed many things over the eons we were locked up in isolation.”, Steve sassed. “Fun fact, Edward and I aren’t just friends anymore. Yup. We fuck each other and fell in love.”

“Huh.”, the boy muses as a takes a sip of his drink. “Well, shit.”

“But that doesn’t matter I guess because Edward is a fucking peasant and sooooo beneath me.”, he mocks causing Eddie to roll his eyes. “Cool. Well now I’m more excited than ever to go back. I have no family, no you, and no Y/N but I’ll be home!”

“You’re all in a…”, Dustin asks gesturing between the three of you and again he makes a tiny huh sound when you nod.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t be with you, you asshole. I was explaining to Y/N why us being together would be fucking difficult. Do you think Chrissy and I just snuck around for fun?! I understand what it’s like in our realm to be in love with someone in a higher status and YOU know what it’s like with the other concern because of Robin. You know the hell she goes through! Went through…I don’t fucking know! To be honest, this fight seems pointless because even if we did go home we’d still have a mask on AND we wouldn’t have Y/N.”

“You wouldn’t fight for me, Edward?”

Steve’s tone pierced Eddie’s heart causing the demon to stomp forward and grab his cheeks.

“I fought with you and beside you for most of my life, Steven. Not only would I fight for you but I’d die for you to, you idiot.” His lips connect to his own before hugging him tightly to his chest. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You guys don’t have to come home. I’ve just been looking for you to tell you that you could. Of course, we miss you guys but your friends and family love you. We want you to be happy.”

Steve reaches out and ruffles the boy’s hair as the young man giggles.

“Now is there a place we can rest because I am exhausted!”

***

As you pretended to sleep in your comfy hotel room bed, you listened to the three of them talk on the mattress next to yours. 

“I can’t believe you’re a dad now, man.”, Eddie chuckles as he looks over the pictures Dustin gave him. 

“Yeah, four of them, and Suzie wants another one. She had a big family, you know.”, he grins as he points to one of the boys in the photo. “My oldest son, his full name is Steven Edward Henderson.”

“Aw, dude.”, Steve coos as he reaches out to hug him. 

“Your uncle babysits them for me and he says they are just as wild as you were, Ed. He takes them outside to the forest sometimes to let them run and play. They love it. Since we found peace, everything has gotten so much clearer and cleaner. Less smoke and an angry red background to illuminate your evenings.”

“What about Robin? IS she happy.”

“Yeah. She misses you a lot and tells the kids stories of your adventures together.”

“Who took over after the king passed?”

“He passed the reigns to a cousin within the family. Someone he said Chrissy trusted.” Both demons nodded as a heavy sigh escaped their lips. “So, you love this girl, huh? She seems really sweet.”

“And strong. She’s been through a lot in her short human life but yeah…we love her.”

“She saved our lives.”, Steve added as they all looked over at you. “Got us out of that stone. She’s always been so selfless even now…willing to break her own heart by telling us to go home. I can’t do it, dude. I can’t abandon her here by herself after everything she’s done. I feel like…she’s apart of us.”

“Like if we lost her, we’d lose a piece of ourselves.”, Eddie explained making Dustin smile. 

“That’s how I feel about Suzie.” 

################

You lean against a tree as you gaze out at their realm. It really was gorgeous compared to the visions they had provided you with their memories of their time there. The sky still had a twinge of red but a dark blue hue was beginning to take over. The town below you seemed more put together and modern without the need to modify it so no one could storm in. 

Even the castle to your right had been updated and had less damage than previously seen. The door opened for you and without prompting, you wondered in, marveling at the décor. Entering a bedroom, you knew whose it was immediately as you had seen it many times before. This time, however, there was no body or blood on the floor. The room was neat and tidy with pictures everywhere. 

On the vanity mirror were photos of Chrissy, Steve, Eddie, and Robin making funny faces with a lake behind them. Another was her and her father dancing in formal dress at what you assumed was a ball. On her bed was a box you slowly moved toward, opening the lid to find pictures of her and Eddie kept hidden for the royal’s eyes. 

There were many photos of kisses exchanged, dates that were had, and hope for a future that never came.

“I wish I had put those up.” You quickly turned at the sound of Chrissy’s voice as she softly smiled at you. “He deserved to be seen.”

“I’m…I’m sorry for what happened to you…to both of you.”

“Honey, you cleared his name and captured Henry. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I’d actually like to help if I can.” She takes your hand and guides you towards the bed to sit beside you. “I’ve seen you with Eddie and Steve. I’ve never seen them as happy as they are now. It broke my heart watching them suffer for so long.”

Her beautiful, big eyes met yours.

“You’ve suffered to, haven’t you?”

“It’s alright—”

“No, it’s not. You three deserve to stay happy for as long as possible. Let me ask you something, Y/N. What do you know about demon slayers?”

Your eyes shot open as you gasped loudly, startling both demons from their sleep. 

“What?! What’s happening?!”

“Ed…Eddie…Chrissy…”

“Hey, hey, whoa, pretty girl. Breathe. Talk when you’re ready.”

As you calmed down, you told them about your dream and what Chrissy had told you. 

“I don’t get it. Do we need to die?”

“Steven, how did you get that out of what she just said?”, Eddie scolded. 

“What else do demon slayers do, Edward?”

“Didn’t your ex leave you for one?”, Dustin grumbled as he rubbed his eyes. “Maybe they would know.”

“What are you talking about? Demon slayers are human. He would have died long ago.”

“Yeah but he didn’t. Michael just visited them to celebrate their anniversary.”

Eddie fully sat up as he turned to face the young demon across from him. 

“AND YOU DIDN’T THINK THAT WAS ODD??”

“Geez, no, I didn’t. I have my own family to worry about on top of finding you two dickheads.”

Your demon’s exchanged a glance as the long-haired one rose to his feet and grabbed the boy’s arm. 

“You lost bed privileges. Go sleep… anywhere else.”

“Hey! Wha—”

He cut the boy off as he slammed the hotel door shut.

“Eddie, you didn’t have to—”

“Punishments are worse where we come from. He can sleep in the car.”, he growls as he runs his palms over his eyes. “What are you thinking, Steve?”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin to look.” His current honey brown eyes flick towards you as he takes note of your facial expression. “Goddamn it. Are we still having this discussion, Y/N. We are NOT going home.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Yeah but I can see it on your face. You think it would be easier for us to just let you go and go home.”

“I heard Dustin talk about what your home is like now. Maybe you two could be happy there.”

His large hand suddenly reached out to grab your throat as he pushed you back down flat against the mattress. 

“Listen up, little girl, because we are only going to say this one more time. Edward was right. The first time we thought we would lose you because Maeve was going to suck us back into that stone. The second time was because YOU made us believe that you would be taken in instead of us. This time WE get to make the choice and we are choosing to stay here with you. We are happier with you. We love you. We belong to you.”

Your breathing stuttered at his last sentence as his hand released its grip, gliding up to hold and caress your cheek with his thumb. 

“And you belong to us, honey.”

Tilting your head slightly, your lips crash up to meet his. The bed jostled as Eddie climbed in beside you, his hand softly running up your thigh before lifting your leg over his hip. A shiver ran up your spine as the demon’s fingers trailed back down along your flesh and rested on the cotton that was blocking your core.

Steve’s lips detach from your own as he leans over, snaking his hand behind the other man’s head, and tugs him into a rough kiss that had your pussy clenching at the sight. 

“I never saw you like that.”, he exhaled heavily. “I never thought of you as beneath me. Not as a commoner or peasant or whatever…even before… you’ve always just been Edward.”

Eddie rushed forward, bringing Steve’s mouth back to his as they passionately mingled together. Your own lips found its way down the metalhead’s neck making him groan while his fingers moved your panties to the side and began massaging circles against your clit. 

They panted as they moved away from each other, Eddie sucking on your own neck as Steve lifted up your nightshirt enough for your breasts to come into view and his mouth to wrap around your nipple. 

“Edward…please…”

Before he could acknowledge your pleas, Steve pushed him onto his back and hastily lifted off your shirt the rest of the way before doing the same with the other demon’s boxers. 

Eddie moaned as a glob of spit landed on the tip of his cock as Steve stroked and smeared it along his shaft. You both watched him with lust fueled eyes as he took him into his awaiting mouth while his free hand reach over to play with your bundle of nerves. 

“Fuck me.”

“H-His mouth always feels so fucking good, doesn’t it?”

“Fuck, yeah, it does. Wh-When we—mmm—when we were alone sometimes he would suck me off for what—shit—felt like hours.”

Continuing to pump him with his hand, Steve gives you his attention, shoving his face into your cunt. Your fingers intertwined with the demon next to you as the others long paranormal tongue lapped at your insides. 

“Yes, Steven! Please.”

Eddie’s free palm reached across his bare chest, landing on your tit as his fingers pinched and played with the erect bud. 

“I-I would cum so many times but I never wanted…never wanted him to stop. His mouth felt so good.”

Steve switched again driving you both wild as he built you two up. Eddie quickly sat up and brought the other demon’s lips to his, both whimpering as their tongues glided effortless against the other.

“I want to feel you, pretty boy. Come on. Make our beautiful girl cum hard, ok? She deserves it.”

Steve nodded, kissing along your skin as he climbed up the length of your body. Opening your legs wide, he lifts one of them over his shoulder, and his forehead falls on yours as he guides his cock into your entrance. 

“Fuuuuck, baby girl. Still so fucking tight.”, he moans, smirking when your breathy laugh hits his face. 

“I’m-I’m a little sore from last night.”

“Yeah? But you can take still take it, can’t you, honey? Mmm—you can still take all of me.”

“Yes.”, you pant as he begins slowly thrusting into you.

When you feel him pause, you shift your gaze to Eddie as he grabs the demon’s shoulder for leverage and gradually pushes into his ass. Biting your bottom lip, you watch as Steve struggles to control his appearance as he whimpers and groans at the feeling of you both. 

“Does that feel good, Steven?”

“S-So good. Fuck.”, he purrs as his hips start to thrust again. 

The demon behind him guides his motions, placing his palms on his waist as his moves him forward into you and back onto him. 

“You can—mmm—you can change if you want to.”

Steve adamantly shakes his head. 

“Too close. Hurt you.”, he manages to grunt out.

“You can hurt me a little.”, you tease making Eddie chuckle behind him as his face scrunches in pleasure. “I always want you guys to be yourselves as much as you can.”

A low growl rumbles from his chest as his pace quickens.

“It always fucking turns me on when you say stuff like that. That you aren’t afraid us.”

“I’m not, Steven.”

His jaw goes slack in a silent moan as he fully takes over pleasing you both. Tears fall from your eyes as he roughly but pleasantly hits that spot inside of you that has your eyes rolling closed while he pushes back hard against Eddie taking him deeper into his body. 

“Shit…that’s it, Steven, baby.”, the metalhead grumbles through his teeth. 

“You’d fuck us fully in our demon form?”

“Yes, of course. I love you both—mmm—for you. I don’t care what you look like. Fuck, M’gonna…”

Dropping your leg, his body fell flat on yours, rolling his hips as Eddie thrust to meet his movements. The sound of skin hitting skin echoed obscenely loud in the small room while all three of your moans mixed in. Your nails dug into his back as you held him tightly to you, shuddering as you came hard.

“Fuck! G-Good girl. Soaking my cock like that.”

The demon behind him grabbed his throat as he pressed his chest into his back, pounding into him till Steve trembled against you and painted your walls with his release. Eddie grunted, yanking them both upright on their knees, and as he fell out of you, the long-haired boy reached around to continue stroking his length, milking him till his own orgasm followed.

Falling to your side, they panted as Steve’s fingers lazily turned your cheek to face him. 

“Are you…okay? I didn’t…cut you or hurt you…right?”

“I’m ok. You didn’t shift too much this time.”, you grin over at him as he smiles in return. 

“Come on, princess.”, Eddie coos as he crawls over to you and lifts you in his arms. “Before you start to smell.”

He chuckles when you lightly smack his chest while he carries you to the tiny hotel bathroom.

“Oh, this will be fun. Just like our showers in the dorms, huh, Stevie?”

It was a tight fit but you didn’t mind. Any chance you got at being close to them made you content. You kept your arms snuggled around either one of them, tenderly kissing their lips occasionally before pressing your face into their chest. 

“What would it be like? Sex with you fully in your demon form? The first night we were together, Steve said his dick was still him…”

After turning off the shower, Eddie guided you out of the shower and made you giggle as he shook a towel over your head. 

“He wasn’t wrong. Um, you know how human’s use condoms? Think of it like that.”

“Also, believe it or not, we’ve been holding back somewhat with you.” Your eyes widen playfully at Steve’s comment. “Oh yeah. You’ve seen Edward and I together. I mean, you saw our house in the stone. It wasn’t solely destroyed all the time because of me if you know what I’m saying.”

Your laugh gradually fades as they watch you slide your sleep shirt back over your head and climb under the covers. 

“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?”

“So…we’re really doing this? We’re going to look for a way for me to be with you two forever?”

They both crawl in beside you like they did every single night before. 

“If that’s what you want, Y/N.”, Eddie answers as his fingers move some loose hair away from your cheek. “If you want to stay as you are, we’ll still be here, babe. Even when you’re old and gray, sitting on a rocker on your front porch.”

They smile when you laugh. 

“Did you see that in my future when you first met me?”

“We can’t see the futures for summoners, just the past.”, Steve explains. “But we don’t need to have powers or anything to see that if that’s a future you want then we’ll make it happen. As long as you’re happy, honey.”

“My mom died my freshman year of high school. I spent so many years watching my father miss her. Before he died, in my dream, I saw him reconnect with her and that comforts me, you know?” You place your palm on Eddie’s heart as Steve wraps his arm around your waist and rests his chin on your bicep just below your shoulder. “I’ve seen what it did to you. I don’t want either of you to experience that pain. I want us…to have as much time…as we can get.”

Softly smiling, he leans down and tenderly kisses your lips, letting you go long enough for Steve to do the same.

“Then, yes, princess. We’re doing this.”

############### Song Inspiration:

@tlclick73 @tiannamortis @steeldaisies @goodhappyfriday @paleidiot @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

@strangerthings64 @howlingco @eddiesguitarskills

@prettypeachsworld

[munchboxart]

I watched Bee and Puppycat Lazy in Space last night since I heard that they re-animated the first few eps. I did watch the originals and seasons 1-2 back when it came out. I'm kind of mixed, Bee and Puppycat has always had awkward pacing issues but to me it was kind of endearing, but uhm, good lord it was more obvious in the re-animated episodes. I do like that they added more context to Bee/Puppycat's history, I love it a lot, I was hoping to see more of it in the later episodes 😭

I am kind of sad that a couple of the episodes were mega shortened to just short mentions, like Bee's Birthday job at Cloud World or whatever. I think the part I was a little more sad about was the "What's your favorite color?" part, it felt a little more rushed, I guess it was just trying to fit in Bee's Dad bit and them going to the Glitch Gorge scene, rather than just ending it there like in the original and having the scenes of Cardamons Mom and Deckard.

The rest of the episodes were just all of the "season 2" one's, which are pretty good. To be fair, I did skip a good chunk of it after learning it was just Season 2 again so if they added new scenes, I might have not known about it.

Other than that, uhmmm Moully is still one of my favorite characters (Wesley, Crispin, Puppycat, etc. too). For soundtrack, I am so upset that the Funny Lying OST where Space Outlaw and Violet are shown for the first time together to candy hunt are not in the album, it make's me so mad, that is one of my favorite OSTs and it's not in ANY OF THE ALBUMS RAHHHHHHHHHHH

Anyways I do recommend watching it if you want a slice of life thing, though maybe watch the first original season over the one on Netflix, but do note that it is a little longer than the one on Netflix, as it's all been condensed down to 3 episodes rather than it's original 10(?)

Edit: one last thing that I just remembered, I didn't like (or I guess I feel mixed) about the episode of Deckard going to the culinary school. I thought it went by a little too fast and Bee already knowing what letter it was without reading it (assumingly, and also the recycling bin should be way too dark for her to read in there 💀 unless she has night vision. What I DO like is that they made her being a robot more obvious and "accepted" (for a lack of better words) and just calling her a weird old young woman or something 😭 It makes the scenes of her thinking about how much time she has in the world settle a little longer, which I like

[reindeer-writer]

this is a fic of @gav-va 's Starline 2 on YouTube, I super duper recommend checking it out if this interests you, by far one of my favourite pieces of Sci-Fi fiction ever!

Fic below the cut (AO3 link if you'd prefer to read there)

Generally speaking Hakir wasn’t very partial to footwear. 

Generally speaking there weren’t many instances where his species would even need shoes.

And generally speaking the times when they were necessary things were custom made specifically for them.

The issue with speaking generally though is that it ignores fringe cases.

Like going on a date with your partner and needing to tape bowling shoes to your soles because you didn’t realise they’d be mandatory if you wanted to play.

It was a good thing that the staff were willing to let him modify the shoes like this, but it still left Hakir feeling a little silly.

Other than that though, he was still looking forward to the date ahead of them, Skipper seemed really excited to take him bowling and it really wasn’t a shock why. Out of the thousands of lightyears they had travelled together this was maybe the third bowling alley they’d managed to find outside of Earth?

Bowling just wasn’t a very popular sport with non-humans (maybe because of the shoe thing) and because of that you’d be hard pressed to find any place that offered it.

Which is how Skipper managed to talk Hakir into trying it for date night this week.

“So, we just roll the balls down the aisle and try to hit the pins at the end?” asked Hakir.

A nod, as Skipper pried a light pinkish ball from the rack and wiped it clean.

“And why do people enjoy this game so much? It seems kinda repetitive to me.....”

A lot of human activities struck Hakir as strange, but from his experience they were usually one of three things:

1: a time killer. Something that humans did back in the days before more sophisticated, portable entertainment devices were developed and have since just stuck around.

2: a skill to hone. Something that they’d spend hours refining and perfecting for one reason or another, usually personal gratification.

or last but not least.....

“Is it for conversation? So it’s just an excuse to talk? .....You just dragged me here to listen to me ramble for like an hour, didn’t you?”

Skipper stuck their tongue out at him. Not surprising, they’d talked about enjoying listening to Hakir speak. Sometimes they let him go on for hours about something they already knew about just as an excuse to listen to his voice.

“We could’ve just sat at home, Skips..... though I suppose then you wouldn’t get to see me walk around with shoes taped to my feet for an hour, now would you?” They chuckled and moved over to the alley.

“Maybe after this I could show you some games from my homeworld. A lot of them got stomped out and made super niche when the Sentinels took over..... you know, with how they wiped out culture, and tradition, and such, but pretty much all of them have survived in some form or another.”

Skipper tilted their head back and forth, tossing the thought around their mind like a pinball. The idea intrigued them, they just weren’t particularly focused on anything besides the game right now. 

They hurled their first ball down the alley, a loud “Crash!”echoed through the room, and the 7 pins to the left had been taken out. 

“Sweet, so is it my turn now or.....? No? Oh, we each get two goes, alright.”

Skipper chortled, Haki was cute like this. 

To be fair, he was always cute, but something about his awkward behaviour in more civil social scenarios versus his stalwart demeanour to the occupational hazards they were usually exposed to.

It made Skipper glad they hadn’t managed to break all of Haki’s limbs before the whole thing with Argus, and the end of the universe, and the almost dying in his arms.

but live and learn, as they supposed. It had turned out alright for them in the end and they walked out of the whole mess with more than enough to make up for it.

That, and a way to see a hardened war veteran bowling with shoes tied to the bottom of his feet.