#I say as my mouth is stuffed with durian pie

[ilikedetectives]

The good side: you can edit pose in-game The unhinged side:

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Camping double date with Miphlink and the Yiga Husbands??

This is a TERRIBLE idea. Why? Because Kohga loves to live like a king, so camping is something he HATES. Unfortunately, Sooga got to pick the double date idea, and he LOVES camping. So, let's go!

 "We could've gone sunbathing on a beach. Could've even gone to the shores of Zora's domain. But no. You just. Had to pick the FUCKING woods!"

Sooga chuckled as he checked the sturdiness of the tent. Mipha and Link often went on double dates with them(to show their support), and the four of them took turns on where to go. It was Sooga's turn, and he picked a camping date. Not JUST a camping date, but a camping date up on Satori fucking mountain. It meant they had to fucking HIKE. And Kohga was hating EVERY moment of it. It must’ve been obvious, given the fact that Mipha was staying with him as Link and Sooga lead the pack. Sooga was grinning as he walked backwards, clearly not trying to sound giddy.

“Master Kohga, this is a nice change of pace, is it not? The smell of trees, the plentiful resources? It’s lovely. I mean, not as lovely as you, but still lovely.”

“You’re using flirts to keep me from going home.”

“Is it working?”

“...kinda. But don’t push it.”

Sooga nodded. Him and Link were having just a ball during this little trek, and it was JUST because of that, that Kohga wasn’t making him pick him up. Mipha chuckled, lightly nudging Kohga.

“Do be patient. Love is full of that. I’m sure he appreciates being out here.”

“He better, I’m taking all his future turns.”

The climb was slow, exhausting, and Kohga was SO goddamn happy when Sooga and Link started to unpack their things, ready to set up camp. It was near the top of the cliff, and a number of trees decorated the rocky land. Kohga sat down on a log, groaning. Kohga wasn’t in bad shape, but hiking was just AWFUL compared to working out at home. Dirt, animals, all of it just sucked to him. He’d MUCH rather be working out at home (Kohga could name other ways he could work a sweat with Sooga).

“Why THIS spot? There’s BARELY any stable ground, and these trees barely leave us rooms for the tent.”

Sooga nodded as he finally undid all of his prep work.

“It’s true, but this spot is special, I swear. Now, if you’ll excuse us. Link, you first?”

Link nodded, and started to clear the trees and bushes. Not all of them, but enough to give them actual stable land to pitch tents in. Kohga watched as Link and Sooga chopped the trees, tossing them in the corner for firewood. Mipha chuckled as she sat next to Kohga.

“Hey. At least we can watch the boys do a little bit of labor.”

Kohga gave her a bit of a side eye. Mipha was really starting to know him.

“I mean, true, I do like watching cute guys do hard work. Think Sooga’s showing off for me?”

“Absolutely.”

They both shared a bit of a giggle, and immediately Kohga felt just a bit better. Even if a fuck ton of bugs kept hovering around. They both finally finished, pitched their tents (one for each couple, for privacy of course), and Sooga immediately started to make a fire. He was pretty good at it, getting it ready and roaring just when Kohga was starting to lose patience. Sooga patted the dirt from his hands, and walked over, grabbing Kohga’s hand and kissing the back of it.

“I left some food for you in the pack, but I’m going to catch something more...lively. I will come back in a moment.”

He turned to Link, who was already starting to unpack the food bags. 

“Link, keep an eye in my stead. Precious cargo here.”

Sooga walked off to god knows where, and Mipha smiled her precious little smile.

“He loves you very much. I can tell.”

“Yeah yeah. Makin’ me trek all the way up here, all sweaty and shit. He loved me, he would’ve picked an ACTUALLY good trip.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Mipha, I love ya, but stop being right about things.”

Link even seemed to smile about that, bringing a bunch of bananas over to Kohga. At LEAST he packed him something good to eat. Link helped a bit too, going to a nearby tree to pluck some fresh durian fruit. Link gave them both fruit as he tended to the fire, and Kohga SAW that swoon on Mipha’s adorable face.

“Hey, I saw that.”

“Saw what?”

“You swooning over your man, you little minx!”

Mipha stammered, but as Link looked over, shooting her a wink, she knew she had been had, hiding her face in her hand, and trying to hide at Kohga’s side. Kohga laughed, shaking his head.

“You two! Got it SO bad! It’s precious! You two really deserve to be together.”

Mipha peered past her hands, to make sure Link wasn’t looking anymore, before looking back up at Kohga.

“Well thank you. Father appears to think so, as does Sidon. Can I uhm...tell you a secret?”

“Shoot little red.”

Mipha covered the side of her mouth with her palm, keeping her voice low.

“I made Zora armor for Link. I’m planning on giving it to him this week.”

That was Zora lingo for ‘marriage’ essentially, and Kohga nearly jumped off his seat, hands thrown about wildly.

“YOU’RE SERIOUS?!”

The sound of his scream made Link miss his shot, about to shoot a bird for dinner. Upon missing, he turned to scowl rather heavily at Kohga, who muttered an apology. When he turned away, Kohga finally found his heart back in his chest, rather than his throat.

“You’re gonna get MARRIED?”

“I’m planning on it, yes!”

“Mipha, lil’ red, I love you to bits, but you’re SO young! How could you want to get married NOW?”

Mipha turned to look at Link, gently cocking her head in a loving, adoring fashion.

"I'm certain I'll never find another for me. I adore him with all my heart. I want to marry him. Very, very much. Do you...not think it's a good idea?"

"No no! I mean, great that you wanna settle. It's great. I fully support you both. I just...the idea of getting married is weird to me, I guess. But I mean, so long as I get to be the best man."

"That's my brother."

"Okay fair. What about flower girl?"

"Riju."

"Ring bearer?"

"That's Midnight."

Kohga threw his arms in the air, in total disbelief. 

"Who's Midnight?!"

"Link's horse."

"...That's actually super cute."

"Isn't it? If it helps any, you can help me pick my wedding outfit."

"Deal."

They both shook hands, satisfied with the deal. Kohga held onto her hand for a moment, clearing his throat.

"But uh...don't tell Sooga, yeah? He's wedding crazy, and if he hears you're gonna get hitched, he's NOT gonna let me hear the end of it."

"End of what?"

They both turned to see Sooga, carrying an entire honeyvore bear over his shoulder. Kohga should've been surprised by his man carrying a whole ass bear like a sack of flour, but he really wasn't.

"Nothing. See you got dinner."

"I did. I was going for a mountain goat, but this one didn't seem to know how to behave. I trust Link has been taking care of you in my stead?"

"Totally. Cut us up some fruit like a good boy and everything."

Kohga pinched Link's cheek as he came over, eager to show his arms full of freshly killed pigeons. Sooga chuckled, rustling Link's hair.

"Quite the provider you have here, Mipha. Should you two marry, I can assure you'd never go hungry."

Kohga tried not to groan. Marriage ALWAYS came up with his ass. It seemed to make Link a bit nervous too, as his face turned dark, and he went back to tending the fire. Mipha giggled into her palm.

"Thank you, Sooga. That's sweet of you to say. But I'm not looking on proposing here and now, so."

Sooga shrugged as he started to cut through the animal's hide, getting it ready for the flames.

"The future is fickle. Who truly knows?"

There was a smirk in his tone, even Mipha seemed to catch onto it. Kohga rolled his eyes. The idea of marriage was so ridiculous to him. Being tied down to one person forever? Fucking ONE piece of ass forever? Not his thing. But hey, he wasn’t Mipha. He scooted over next to Sooga as soon as he put the meats over the fire.

“Sooga, how much longer till it’s ready, you think?”

Sooga chuckled. His Master LOVED to eat, and while he was no chef, he could cook some good, fresh meat over a campfire. He cut a piece of the meat, showing Kohga just how raw it was.

“It’ll take a good minute, Master. Unless you’d like it raw, then I can serve you a piece now.”

Kohga stuck his nose up at it, and Sooga, for some reason, found his face so charming.

“Who wants to eat raw ass-”

Link snatched the piece from his hand, stuffing it in his mouth. Kohga sighed.

“Right. Link. The guy that will actually eat ANYTHING. You remember the time he just, ate some fucking rocks?”

“I recall, yes. Yet, he makes a VERY good fish pie.”

“Hey. Bad enough we HIKED here, don’t you even bring UP fish.”

Sooga gave a light shake of his head, even as Kohga smacked at his tit. He was lucky he was fine, else Kohga wouldn’t put up with his nonsense. They spent a good moment in idle chit chat (how restoration to kingdoms were, recent training practices, new dishes, the usual stuff you’d talk about with folks you more or less considered family), before Sooga handed Kohga a healthy plate of food. Fried wild greens, and spiced meat skewers (Kohga ALWAYS had Sooga bring goron spices whenever they went out. Kohga put it on EVERYTHING, especially meat). Kohga helped himself, digging into his meal hungrily. Sooga was a shit cook in a modern kitchen, but when it came to spicing and cooking meat out in the wild, Sooga was damn good enough. Juicy insides, and a nice, crispy outside. Him and Link didn’t talk as much, in favor of eating ravenously and enjoying their meals.

“Sooga, you don’t like goron spice?”

“Not especially. I always give my portion to Kohga, who loves it. But I prefer mine lightly salted. And I'm not the only one, it seems."

A raven seemed to trot over to them, eyeing Sooga curiously. It welcomed the slices of meat Sooga tossed its way, and Sooga noticed Kohga’s look of interest.

"Birds always did seem to like me, for whatever reason. Watch."

Sooga brought his hand down, and almost immediately, the bird jumped into his hand, eyeing everyone curiously. Kohga leaned over and lightly poked its head, making it squawk.

"Huh. That's why Revali thinks you're hot."

Sooga shook his head, as if something smelled. 

"I wish you hadn't told me that. Makes me wish birds hated me."

"What if it was Teba?"

Sooga took a moment in hesitation, before lightly nodding.

“I like Teba.”

“EVERYONE likes Teba, can’t say I blame you here.”

Sooga gave the crow another scrap of meat, before motioning for it to leave, which it did, but not before looking back at Sooga once more. Mipha handed her plate to Link (who always ate whatever she couldn’t finish), before softly nodding.

“That’s honestly quite charming. I’m personally really good with fish, though it might be a Zora thing.”

Then the most odd thing happened. Link put his plate down (with food STILL on it), and nearly leapt towards Mipha, clearly excited. She seemed surprised for a moment, before chuckling.

“Oh, you want me to show them, don’t you?”

Link nodded again, wildly. Mipha held onto her head fin, and the spots on her skin seemed to glow, which seemed to glow brightly as the sun soon seemed to die down. 

“Woah. Since when could you do that?”

“Always. It’s made to attract fish, bugs...Hylians.”

Link was just enthralled in her spots, fingers carefully brushing against her skin. She sat there, as flattered and flustered as a young princess could be, while Link just sat there, adoring her like something out of a story book. Sooga looked down at Kohga, who was enthralled with them both. With the moon gracing the sky, now was just as good of a time as any.

“Master Kohga, I think these two need a moment of privacy. Could I...show you something?”

Kohga nodded, quietly helping them sneak away. This somehow ended with Sooga leading Kohga god knows where, covering his mask with his hands.

“Sooga, why can’t I just close my eyes?”

“You peek.”

“I won’t this time! Maybe!”

“Relax, Master Kohga. We’re almost there. Now, be silent.”

Kohga stopped talking, and just trusted Sooga to guide him. He was about to take another step, when Sooga stopped him in his tracks. His voice was in a hushed, low tone.

“Open your eyes.”

Kohga did just that, and couldn’t believe his eyes. Blupees. Blupees , surrounding a lake, littered in cherry tree petals. They all sat there, hopping about, grooming their long, orange feelers. They hadn’t been noticed yet, and it was incredible. Some sipped at the lake water, some seemed to hop amongst the piles of petals. Kohga kept his voice low, in disbelief.

“You...knew they’d be here.”

“I did. This trip was the perfect opportunity to show you something as beautiful as you are. I take it you’ve never seen them up close?”

“No. Only in books. They’re...so different in person.”

Kohga took a step forward, making a branch snap. They thought it had been the end of it, when one of the blupees turned to look at him. But then, it chose not to run. Rather, it hopped right to Kohga, standing on its rear legs and eyeing him curiously. Kohga glanced at Sooga, before looking back towards the creature.

“Thought they were skittish?”

“They’re supposed to be. Unless they consider you not a threat.”

“W-hey! I’m plenty threatening! Go on, get!”

Kohga knelt down and pointed at it, only for it to bump against his hand, and snuggle into it like a stray cat. Kohga grumbled in a mixture of confusion and amazement, before another blupee walked over. Then another. Then another. They all scattered about him, clearly fascinated and eager to rub their little faces against him. It made Kohga fall on his ass, trying not to step on them. Sooga knelt down to him, ever ready to be of assistance. Though, it seemed the only thing his master was in danger of, was getting a permanent scowl. He chuckled.

“I don’t think they find you too threatening. Foolish creatures, honestly.”

“I should be making these bunnies shake in their boots dammit.”

Kohga raised a hand in accusation, before a blupees seemed to fall right into it, desperate for a good petting. Sooga took a small step forward, careful not to spook them, before he clunked his mask against Kohga’s.

“You...never cease to amaze me, Master Kohga. You’re incredible. These creatures thrive on purity. I can only imagine how much of it is in your heart.”

Kohga scoffed, playfully pushing his face away with his hand.

“It’s nothing like that, these things are just dumb. But… this is sweet. YOU’RE sweet. And as much as I hated the hiking, the bugs...this was nice. I don’t ever think I’m going to forget this, Sooga.”

“So I did good for my turn?”

“Good enough to try again, yes. God you’re so dumb and pretty.”

Sooga chuckled. He parted his mask, as well as his master’s, and was about to lean in for a kiss, when suddenly a shadow peered over them. Both of them jumped a bit, scaring a few of the blupees. Kohga stood aghast at the creature, while Sooga looked stiff.

“Is that...the Lord of the Mountain?”

“Yes. Aka, one that brings curses upon the land it walks.”

Sooga brought out his weapon, and aimed it right between its faces. The creature stared at him, before slowly walking past Sooga, and stopping right in front of Kohga. It slowly brought its head down, right into Kohga’s lap. It looked at him with it’s intense, bright eyes. Kohga looked unsure of what to do, before he slowly, carefully, brought his hand right next to his face. Kohga motioned wildly with his free hand, totally in disbelief.

“I’m petting it! I’m THIS cool! Can you SEE this?!”

The Lord seemed comforted by his hand, eyes lidded as Kohga’s hands nestled and scratched at it’s fur. It was brief, but it was enough to leave a lasting impression in Sooga’s mind. The creature pulled away after a moment, before dipping its face into the water, taking a sip. Then it took a step towards Sooga, and promptly spat water at his face. With a snort, and a stomp of it’s hoof, it turned, and started to graze within the water. Sooga turned to look at Kohga, who was trying VERY hard not to laugh.

“Pffft! It spat water at you! Holy CRAP, he does NOT like you!”

Kohga lost it at that point, pointing at Sooga and just losing himself in laughter. He only stopped once Sooga knelt down, and held his hand in his own.

“I’m. So in love with you, you couldn’t even fathom it-”

“This shit again.”

“Say the word and I’d be your husband IMMEDIATELY.”

Kohga groaned, using his other hand to smack his forehead. It wasn’t entirely Sooga’s fault that he was so lovesick though.

Not when the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen, got to pet the Lord of the Mountain.

[sharysisnhmoonshadow]

Emerald, Fluvous, Fawn, Plum

Emerald: if you had the option, would you live in another country? Which one? - Can’t say I have anywhere specific in mind as I’ve never really traveled much, and I’ve never been out of the country. I would love to visit some places first to get some proper informed opinions! (Plus I have a city-boy BF as well as a horse, and I’m very lucky as it is to have a living situation that lets me have both)

Fulvous: another name you think would suit you. -Back in my high school days, a friend and i were in love with this (sadly forever unfinished) HP fanfic that had war mages, and war mage names were a Big Thing in the story and so we both created our own personal War Mage personas and backstories. Although I cant remember the tale that I created to go with it, I have a few friends who still call me Jade to this day.

Fawn: Any interesting family stories? - I love pumpkin pie so much that as a kid it was easy for me to demolish a whole pie to myself. One time the very last piece was being saved for my older brother, Talyn (cool name, right?). Anyway, Tal was taking FOREVER in the bathroom and I yelled that if he didn’t hurry up, I was gonna eat it. Well, he didn’t and so I picked up that sucker like a slice of pizza and Tal emerged just as I took a bite. I bolted out the front door, all the while stuffing my face with pie, and once the last bit was in my mouth I stopped and put my hands up. He was so pissed off, he spun around to stomp off back home shouting, “I’M TELLING MOM!”

Plum: a food you’ve never tried- Hmm. I’ve never tried Durian fruit, and I never want to based on every cooking show and YouTube video I’ve seen. In recent years I’ve been a lot more adventurous in at least trying new things, but that’s a hard no from me.

[sarahlwlee]

31 Stories in 31 Days: Apples

What is this? As part of celebrating Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month (May), I am writing a story a day about my experiences as a Chinese Malaysian immigrant in America. My friends and family have provided numerous one-word prompts to help me create these stories. Today’s word prompt was contributed by Tieng Yee L. and the word is “Apples”. Thank you Tieng for your contribution and thank you everyone who stopped by to read my story today.

When I was attending graduate school in Kalamazoo, I spent more time exploring Kalamazoo and all the fruits it had to offer. Tieng played a big role in helping me explore, from farmer’s market to apple orchards. One of my favorite exploration adventures with Tieng was apple picking in Fennville, Michigan. She invited me along with another couple to visit this renowned apple orchard called Crane Orchards to pick Honeycrisp apples and also to stop by Crane’s Pie Pantry & Restaurant across the street from the orchard to indulge in some apple fritters. The three of them had visited Crane’s Orchard before and shared a multitude of stories during the hour-long car ride of what they were looking forward to when we arrived at the orchard.

I remember when we arrived, it was a beautiful crisp fall day and yet warm enough that you didn’t need a sweater. We went up to the counter to register to pick apples and they provided a few plastic bags that we could use to hold all the apples we could pick. In fact one of the farmer’s encouraged us to sample the goods and he promised that we wouldn’t be disappointed. What a surreal experience to walk through rows and rows of trees that were about my height with great abundance of apples. At home in Malaysia, most fruit trees were tall and mighty that you would need a ladder or a seasoned climber to reach the sweetest fruit such coconuts, mangoes, bananas, durians, papayas, rambutans and many more.

The first time I sampled a Honeycrisp apple, I remember the flavor overwhelming my taste buds with every bite accompanied with gentle waves of sweetness enveloping my tongue just like honey. The freshness of a fruit straight from a tree was astounding, it was like nothing  I had ever tasted before. The farmer delivered on his promise and I had become a new fan of Honeycrisp apples. I filled my plastic bag up as much as I could, eager to continue feasting on apples and explore new desserts with my newfound favorite. What I didn’t know was apples fill you up quickly and before I knew it. I was too stuffed for lunch at the restaurant across the street. Tieng’s friend said the only thing she wanted was the apple fritter and apple butter from the restaurant even if we didn’t eat a full meal.

When I thought about apple fritters and apple butter, my mind imagined slices of apples covered in batter deep fried with apple-flavored melted butter. I thought to myself, “Wow, this apple fritter sounds absolutely delicious and indulgent similar to goreng pisang (banana fritters) back at home.” I couldn’t wait to try it myself even though I was stuffed with apple samples from the orchard. Finally when our order arrived, I was pleasantly surprised that the apple fritters were doughnuts and the apple butter was not butter, but rather apples slowly cooked and its natural sugar caramelized to a deep brown color. It was nothing like I had imagined. Tieng’s friend shared with us the best way to consume it. First you cut the doughnut in half and then you spread the apple butter onto the doughnut. Once the apple butter has covered the doughnut to your satisfaction, only then you sink your teeth into this delectable treat. Love at first bite. The doughnut was fluffy and the apple butter added a depth of flavor to the doughnut I couldn’t have imagined before.

Tieng took a lot candid pictures during our adventure at the orchard. One of the photos she took was of me standing amongst the apples trees with a big smile and mouth agape, probably from the utter excitement of picking so many Honeycrisp apples and couldn’t wait to devour them later. A few months later, I used this photo as part of an interview I did with a friend back in Malaysia who wrote for a Malaysian English daily newspaper called The Star. She was writing a story for the youth news and lifestyle tabloid branch of The Star called R.AGE about Malaysian youth who were studying abroad. In her story, she interviewed youth who had no plans on returning home to Malaysia because of the better opportunities and lifestyles in foreign countries.

My mother was so pleased to see a front cover photo of me in the paper. Apparently my aunts had called her to let her know that I was in the paper and she went out to the nearest sundry store to pick up several copies. I forgot to tell her I had this opportunity to be interviewed about studying abroad and that it was going to be published at some point. Knowing my mother, she probably bragged to her friends that her daughter was in the paper. I remember her asking me why I had provided this picture of me in the apple orchard, she said I didn’t look very attractive in the picture. The picture of me inside with the story was much better. I guess I didn’t really care about how I looked but rather the picture captured everything about my life in Kalamazoo at the time. The Western Michigan t-shirt, the quintessential American tradition of apple picking and just experiencing the sheer abundance of what this country had to offer.

When I was re-reading this article, I had forgotten a lot about what I had said during the interview. At that point, I had not made a firm decision not to return to Malaysia and was quoted in the article saying, “Perhaps that one day would be the day when I am truly passionate about making a difference in Malaysia and nothing else would dissuade me.” Sometimes I think a lot about returning to Malaysia and what my life would be like as well as what I would do today. There are days I think about what my life and my family’s life would be like if I stayed on in Malaysia instead of returning for my graduate studies and eventually getting married to my husband in Kalamazoo.

Sometimes these “What if?” questions don’t always yield a fruitful thought and often is fraught with guilt because it’s built with the assumption that I could have made my family’s life better. However I have learned that I am no knight in shining armor and I might not be the solution my family needs nor is it my burden to carry alone. My family has expressed at one time or another of how happy they are that I have built a life in America and married a wonderful man who loves and cares about me deeply even though this means they don’t get to see me very often and they will always miss me. It is extremely difficult to sit with this internal dialectical tension that stems from a proximity difference and trying to live into familial values.

One thing I can say for certain, my life here in Kalamazoo has been filled with adventures and it has helped me to grow as a person. I know the next adventure is yet to be explored and unwritten, perhaps one day I will find the opportunity to share it with you through another short story.