#I should really stop writing at 2am it always becomes so angsty

[tokoyamisstuff]

Burning Passion pt. 7 - Loki x Reader Soulmate AU

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6]

Sorry, Tumblr hates me and doesn’t display the links to the previous chapters no matter how often I try. Neither do the tags work properly. -.-

Summary: After you’ve lost the love of your life, how will things turn out from this point? It seems like the universe feeds on your pain.

“I wanna hurt to you just to hear you screaming my name.”

(Alice Cooper - Poison)

I swear this will have a happy ending lmao. What a ride.

Warnings: Well...Angst, Mental breakdown once again, unhealthy relationship, Loki being a major asshole.

Words: 4500ish

Early reunion

You couldn’t remember much of what happened after the incident. Only worry about whether Loki would be alright, after leaving witht he poison still inside of his system.

Except for this, your mind went completely blank. The only thing you felt was Thor’s firm embrace as he tried to pick you up from the ground, your limbs feeling like rubber. And how Steve was yelling at you without seeming to have any sympathy, wanting you to explain this situation. He seemed to have a heaty argument with Tony, who wanted him to leave you alone. But for the rest, you stopped paying attention a while ago.

All of this was miniscule to you right now - for you had lost the most important person in your life.

________

“We’ll get him back, [___]. I swear to you upon all of my honor!” Thor whispered as he lay a wet cloth on your forehead. The stress had caused you to get high fever in adittion, as if you didn’t have enough problems right now.

You nodded without a word, but your lips managed to give him a reassuring smile. It was good to have him around you right now - only he could understand the loss you’ve felt. And to be honest, it made you feel like a total hypocrite. Thor had lost so much more than that, and here you are, mourning over a man who isn’t even presumed dead yet. But both of you had the same goal - get this man back into your lives unharmed!

There was no time to brood about the harsh things he said to you earlier, neither for being sick. Sitting up in bed while telling your theory and the details about what happened before your friends arrived, you forced yourself out of the bed just shortly after.

“Come on, [___]. You can’t stand up just yet. We’ll handle this” Natasha said as she tried to pull you back, but the resolve in your eyes made her back off.

“I caused this mess, I’ll help cleaning it up.” After you swallowed some pain- and feverkillers, you already started to get dressed. Your head was still dizzy, but at least your body moved as you wished.

“You don’t know the whole story! Now that The Ancient One and Odin aren’t here anymore, Thanos will come for the Tesseract” you explained as you put on your shoes, “And Loki went completely nuts. What does he even want to do with that thing? I bet he doesn’t know himself.”

“Do not worry, [___]. The Tesseract got destroyed, together with Asgard!” Thor cheered, hoping it would make you see reason and go back to bed.

“Uh, yeah...about that....” you stuttered, not looking up to meet their gaze as you still sat on the floor, trying to get on your boots with shaking hands.

Thor frowned, remembering it’s Loki you were talking about. “No.”

“Yes. I once sneaked into his room for a prank and saw him summouning it. It looked the same as back in New York, and I assume it’s not a fake.”

“Why didn’t you report to any of us instantly?!” Clint yelled as he shook you, before Tony pushed him away. You didn’t want them to fight because of you, but look at what you started...

“He was just admiring it. Looking as if he was thinking about what to do with it. I confrontet him about everything and he assured me he didn’t want to use it, just protect it from humans and their desire to form weapons with it’s energy!”

Steve’s expression told you exactly how he was feeling right now. “And you honestly believed the damn God of Lies?!”

“Yes” you barked back at him, “Yes I did! And did he try to use it once up until now? No!”

Walking up to you just to place a hand on his shoulder, Thor tried to calm you down. The way he pet your head only made you painfully miss Loki’s touch even more - but you tried to stayed strong. “I am very touched by the way you feel about my brother. Even though I doubt that he deserves your fidelty - if you are able to still believe in him, I’ll try to do the same. We’ll get him back to you, I promise.”

The others still didn’t understand. Of course, he wasn’t all that bad ever since he and the rest of Asgard arrived on Earth, but there was never a guarantee that he didn’t plan to do this the whole time. Not that it would make any sense to gain their trust if he already had the Tesseract and could trick the security system from the very start, but it was only a theory that he lost his mind due to the poison.

“Even Thor stopped believing in Loki a long time ago” Bruce said, nervously walking around in the room and trying to keep his cool.

“No, he didn’t” you spat, “He may have gotten an unhealthy amount of suspicion, but he never stopped loving his brother.”

“Hey, I’m not that naive” Thor mumbled, but after seeing you rise an eyebrow ashamedly adding “Okay, there may be some truth in that...”

“This still doesn’t explain how you can be so sure that there’s still some good in this man. Only because he did one or two good deeds, it doesn’t mean he’s changed” Clint scoffed.

“Well” you mumbled quite annoyed as you removed the sweatband from your wrist, “Either my soulmate isn’t as bad as he seems or I’m going to become a villain at some point. I really hope it won’t be the latter.”

The only reaction you got from the team was a gloomy “...Oh.” Well, thank you guys. Really, much fo a help.

Thor was the only exception, instantly lifting you up in a bonecrushing hug that stole your breath. “I knew it! You’ll be the one to melt the ice around my brother’s heart!”

“...Oh god Thor. I swear, if you ever say something that cheesy ever again I think I have to turn you into a living torch.”

“See?” he cheered, “You and my brother really are made for each other!”

_____

Well, in the end you had to stay in bed until your fever reduced. It was a trade-off to at least hear about the plan to get Loki back.

It made you think: You really have wonderful people surrounding you, that you could gladly call your comrades. Not even for one second they’d doubt your integrity, rather believing in your words that there’s still hope for your soulmate.

Originally, the plan was to ask Dr. Strange for help. The Avengers met him after Loki and the others came to Earth, obviously demanding a reason for their return. Ever since then you didn’t have any contact to the mage.

Yawning loudly as you got out of the shower, you still felt tired as hell, even though you’ve slept for almost twelve hours. You walked towards the window, still only in your underwear and a towel wrapped around your hair, glaring into the distance. “I wonder if he’s doing fine...”

Strange needed way longer than before to find the whereabouts of Loki, since he was concealing his presence through magic stronger than the Doctors. Still, it would only be a matter of time until he’d find him with his spell...

Being awake and alone with your thoughts was hard to bear, but you couldn’t be with your friends, either. They just couldn’t help themselves other than looking at you with those pitying eyes, and you couldn’t bear to have that right now. You told them you wanted to be left alone, and so they tried their best to respect that.

Most of the time you’d ignore the knocks on your door and the kind words they said to cheer you up, even though it made you feel bad for being so unapproachable despite everything they’re doing for you. Sometimes you could really understand Loki. You loved all of them, that’s for sure, but it still didn’t change the fact that you felt out of place very often. As if everyone just played as if you belonged.

Better fall asleep before you overthink everything and get a panic attack again, you thought as you threw yourself on the bed and buried yourself in a ton of pillows and blankets. You would need all of your strenght for when the time would come to meet Loki again.

Before you slowly drifted away into your sleep, you could swear to see Loki standing at your bed, but as if through magic, your eyelids got as heavy as lead. Not being able to open them again, you felt a familiar, cold hand stroking your cheek. And still, you didn’t fear anything at that moment.

“I’m back, little dove.”

_______

As your eyes opened, you were not at the Stark Tower any more, but lay on a king-size bed in an even greater room.

The breeze coming through the open window made you shiver, so you carefully stood up and tried to figure out where you’re at. Everything was decorated in gold and red, with old furniture and pompous decoration. When taking a look out of the window, you were certain where you’re at: A beautiful castle with a gorgeous garden in front of it. You couldn’t exactly recognize any of it, but it didn’t seem like you’re still in America, though.

The caste seemed to be some kind of museum nowadays, being restored and having many information signs pinned everywhere. “Schloss Schönbrunn” it said. So you’re in Austria. What the hell is Loki doing here?

Until now, you didn’t realize it just yet, but when you got stuck at a nail or something sticking out of the ground, you saw that you wore a long, beautiful green dress with golden features - as well as a collar around your neck. What the hell is he thinking?!  Gradually, you got really pissed.

You felt Loki’s presence as if it was calling out for you, attracting your attention on purpose. So you dared to take a step out of the room, knowing it would mean no harm. Griding your teeth in annoyance, you took firm step through the giant hallways.

While passing some humans, you realized they weren’t acting out of their own will any more. Of course, it would be more easier to kill them, but without any military force it would be a bad idea to start a war. After you finally found the entrance hall, you realized the staff closed the museum, even though it was still bright day.

This castle was huge. Way larger than any building you’ve ever been in, except for the Stark Tower. You weren’t used to all that royal stuff, even though you were always amazed when Loki was bragging about life back on Asgard.

Well, wouldn’t make any difference to ask these human marionettes for the way to the throne room, would it? But while you were still pondering about which way to go, one of the persons tapped your shoulder, causing you to instantly cover your hands in flames, your alarm bells ringing.

“Miss [___], the king has commanded me to lead you to the audience.” A young woman was talking to you, and you saw it in her glowing blue eyes that she wasn’t herself anymore. Really, Loki? Does this seriously need to be?

Two men were pushing the giant door open, and the first thing you saw was Loki, sitting on the throne with his usual, smug grin. You had to remember Thor’s words after you were upset when Loki were pretty rude once “He likes to make up for his insecurities through acting overly confident - but on the inside, he’s constantly very troubled.”

Just a minute before, Loki was dozing on the throne, having a nightmare. A Chitauri, mercilessly killing you right in front of his eyes. His own sobbing made him awake, slowly descending to reality again. Why does he even waste any of his thought on this silly woman? No, he doesn't care. It cannot be. His mind played a prank on him - as it did very often before. Wiping the tears out of his face, he saw a blurry silhouette of a familar woman entering the throne room.

The men were pushing you over the red carped and towards Loki, trying to force you on your knees until he dismissed them with a flick of his hand. Now it was only you and him, but he kept his distance from you, looking as if he was mentally debating over something.

“Your highness” you scoffed sarcastically as you dropped a curtsey, furrowing your brows. “I see you’re well again. But that helmet looks ridiculous.”

“Ah, how I missed that sharp tongue of yours” he said as he slowly walked down the stairs from the throne to face you. “It sure is thrilling to see you again. And yes, a strong will is very helpful to break the magic of that poison.”

As you refused to look him in the eyes, he pulled on the collar, forcing you to look up. After a while of sneeringly eyeing you, he snapped his fingers and the leash disappeared. “What a ridiculous thing to make you wear. I have to apologize if I offended you with that little prank.”

“Fuck you” you hissed frankly.

“How refreshing. Just like the first time we’ve met” he chuckled with an evil tone in his voice, looking at you with a devil’s eyes. Damn, actually you wanted to contain yourself. “Do you like this castle? I only borrowed it until I have my own one, of course. Way bigger and more fit for a person like me.”

“I’m not up for smalltalk. Tell me what you want” you growled, causing Loki to come even closer to you.

"Oh, do not try to play calm. All of this is way too big for an insect like you. And you know that. I can feel you trembling from here, shaking in front of an enemy this powerful!

You felt how your throat went dry again, but you fought against this fear. "You're not my enemy, Loki. I do not wish fot it to be that way." 

He smirked a bit, realizing how he affected your way of talking into a more polite one. The thought of him being in your head even without magic was pretty amusing to him. Did he leave this much of an impression on you in this short a time?

“Ah, so naive" he curred as he circled around you, still trying to figure out what was so special about you.  How could such a weak creature, unworthy of him in any way, even attract his interest? But he loved the fight you put up against him. “What next? Do you want to call upon my humanity?”

"...I dont know. Maybe I’ll just use the chance to get to know the man who ripped my heart out a little better.”

“Not literally. But I can do that was well, if that's your wish.” His threat didn’t even made you flinch any more, you felt how unsure he was on the inside. 

“Did you kidnap me just because of that?” He could’ve easily kill you in your sleep, so why get you there of all things? So he can do it in a flashy environment, making a big deal out of it? Didn’t he just say he thinks so lowly of you?

His torn apart look as reaction to this question made you hope there might be reasoning with him, but you couldn’t find any other words than a weak “Loki...Please!”

Hearing this, he let out a loud, quick laughter. "Are you being serious, woman? That time with you was nothing more than an illusion, a minor sitback, you could say. It was fun while it lasted, but you were nothing more than a short pastime, an expedient, only meant to let me realize my mission - that I’m meant to rise on the throne I was born for, and reign over this inferior world! You can be proud of yourself, witch. I bet your species will be thankful someday. After all - your mistake helped me standing here today.” 

You grid your teeth and clenched your fists, prepared to slap him - but his body was just an illusion. "How cute" you could hear him say from behind your back, followed by you asking:

“Say, Loki, did you play some cheap trick with my mind?”

“What are you talking about?” He didn’t quite understand, and it wasn’t like you expected to get a proper answer out of this man. Loki was making even less sense than usually. 

Letting your arm finally sink down again, you whispered "Because even despite everything you did, I still cannot hate you the way I should. Quite the opposite, even."

Loki’s eyes widened in excitement, but shortly after he shook his head to try and get those feelings out of his mind. He let out a malicious smile as he approached you again. "No, I fear that's just your inferior human sentiment. What a disgrace."

"Is it so wrong for me to love you?" you asked, quite desparate to get any kind of positive reaction out of him.

"Yes" he said calmly, getting a strand of hair out of your way, still fascinated by your stunning beauty. “Too bad. If you were to be born Asgardian, you would’ve made a fine wife.”

“Loki, none of this needs to happen-”

“Yes it does! What does a human like you understand about the great things I’ve learned about in my exile?!” he yelled, making you duck down in fear. He looked at you with furious eyes before backing off and wandering through the throne room, as he always did when he was pondering about something.

“You’ve always betrayed the people that loved you, probably afraid of getting betrayed yourself. But we all love you, regardless of what you’ve done! There’s still a chance, you just have to take it! You don’t even have a real plan, do you? But together with Thor, the two of you, all of us-”

“Of course you believe that. Everyone is always on his side.”

You groaned in frustration. “Don’t act like you’ve given me a real choice! And don’t you ever dare to talk ill about how Thor and I tried to protect and defend you, all this time!”

"Well, I don't need his sympathy! Or yours, or anyones! I’ll prove my worth to all nine realms, out of my own accord!”

“At what price, Loki? That plan is insane!” you tried to get closer to him, but as soon as he quickly turned around to face you, you winced once again. “T-that’s not sympathy you oblivious idiot, it’s called love!” you began to yell back, but desparation made your voice crack again as you swallowed your tears.

"Lies" he hissed, "I am the God of Mischief. Don't you dare lying to me!" he scolded, adding "I can clearly feel how your heart is racing. Those eyes of you, wide and frightened. Is that love?!”

“Do you want my love?” you said with in a serious tone, your passionate look making him feel a lump in his throat.

Did he? Why did he even come back and bring you here in the first place? What’s the meaning behind this? He didn’t know the answer himself. The only thing he was certain of was that he couldn’t get you out of his mind - and it bugged him. No matter how he racked his brain around it, it didn’t make any sense.

He searched feverishly for a lie which explained why he was still so invested about you, and he quickly found one: The fact that he let you this close to his core. That you knew so much about him and his feelings. This insolence should be punished! 

"Don’t you dare telling me that I am worthy of being loved” he grumbled as his movements suddenly stopped.

Much to your surprise, he really seemed hurt about this. "You're just like everyone else! Telling me I am loved, even though deep inside you all know I'm an repulsive being! And you have a damn good reason to fear me. I'll give you one!"

Like this, even though he was threatening you, he didn't even seem to be this ruthless. He could've killed you ages ago, yet you still waited for him to even raise his hand against you. "That is not true, Loki. And you know that. I don’t think any less of you, even though I knew what you were from the very beginning.”  

"Well" he gritted, tired of deluding himself, "Because of the poison I catched for you, I got some very unpleasant memories back to my mind. How about I return the favour? Maybe it'll make you understand."

Like that, he touched your forehead, forcing you to relive the memories you've surpressed all this time. As you sunk down to the floor, being a sobbing and screaming mess, Loki crotched down in front of you.

You whimpered "You're a monster...", but Loki simply replied "That makes two of us. Or am I mistaken? Back then I got curious about your past, and I catched something in S.H.I.E.L.D’s database - but seeing it is on a whole new level: Back then, when you were but a little brat, you unleashed your might without knowing what you did - killing your family in the process. Their death was your fault and your fault alone. Everything would've been fine if just you haven't been born, right?" 

"Stop" you screeched out as you covered your ears.

"Hit the bulls eye, didn't I? I've always asked myself: Why would you help such weak people, all of the time? What would you gain from that? I knew that mortals try to excuse their weakness with cheap morals, but this was different, since you're no mere human: You try to ease your guilt through good deeds, isn't it like that? Filled your life with empty lies, attempting to find new meaning. That's the only way you were able to keep going this long, right? And now you try to stop me, for what? To save me? The earth? But no matter what - it won't make the dead come alive again, my fair lady."

You didn't answer him, trying to keep your thoughts together to prevent a mental breakdown - when you suddenly felt his hand on your cheek, his thumb wiping away some tears. "Oh...minds are so easily broken. You know my habit of talking more than good for me.”

Like this, he embraced you tightly as he whispered “We’re very much alike. I think I’m possibly the only one who can understand all the pain and loneliness you felt. Even though I coped with it quite the exact opposite way of your kind one.”

What is this contradictory behaviour? Was it to mock you? To torture you any further? You freed yourself from his hug, just to start speaking to your heart’s content.  "Oh, you like to hurt people's feelings, huh? Well, that's a game for two!"

Instead of casting the same magic on him, you simply told him what you thought about him. "You're...pathetic. Not feeling worthy of being loved until you've proven yourself, with that twisted logic of yours. You just turn everyone's words around so they fit your depressing view on your existence. So it's easier for you to be doing this."

You wanted to stop, but just couldn't. "That's also the reason you trust no one, and mark everyone's affection towards you as pity or mocking. Just a bitter man who doesn't know how to belong. Who thinks that power will fill the emptiness in his heart."

Your words didn't leave him unaffected, but he would never admit that. He already turned his back to you long ago, so you couldn’t see the change in his expression. "And there you are mistaken, little witch. I have abandoned such sentiments a long time ago. Unnecessary attachments will leave you vulnerable. And that's the difference between us. For you are a human, and I am a god."

"I...hate you" Those words of you made it feel like his hear got pierced by a burning blade.

"...Not that it matters. As if I'd care what a lowy creature thinks of me." He looked down to his chest, playing with the necklace you once gifted him. "I acquiesced your presence long enough" he said, grabbing your arm so tightly that it hurt. “If you don’t obey me, I’ll have to get rid of you.”

“Do as you please” you said, feeling as if death was the easiest option right now.

“But you know what? I have to admit, I was quite engaged in teaching you well back then. This shouldn’t go to waste. Human mages are quite rare, so I’ll contemplate to keep you as a trophy.” 

No answer, you didn’t even do so much as looking at him.

"Do you think you're above me?" he yells with a furious tone, but it left you unimpressed.

"I've never thought that. But if you don’t believe me, why don’t you turn me into one of those zombies?”

“And where would be the fun in that?” he scoffed loudly, saying “Give me a week to slowly break your mind. As I saw before, it’ll be quite the easy task. I’ll get a wonderful pet as a result.”

"Are you talking to me, really, or are you trying to convince yourself? Who are you so angry at? Why do you feel the need to act so high and mighty? I’ve always admired who you were, not for your status. But you sure are a monster - not because of your heritage but because of the things you’ve done and still want to do. I'm right here, completely at your mercy. Just finally kill me, would you?"

"Never, you imbecile girl! You want the truth?! I decided I wanted you to be mine a long time ago! So if I can’t love you, I’ll at least possess you! You may rot here, knowing that I'll slaughter your whole kind!"

Those were his last words before his servants threw you in a locked room without any windows or a trace at where you are. His magic was way stronger than yours, so there was no escaping it either way.

So this is how things are supposed to be? Is this even a ‘soulmate’, just because you belong to him now? It was never a doubt that it would be easy. Human mages live up to several hundred years, yet he’d still outlive you. You thought about it several times before - but right now you wished this was your only concern.

You curled up on the ground, your knees hitting your chest as you whispered to yourself.

“They’ll come for me. My friends will come, I am sure of it.”

______

[Part 8]

______

Don’t be afraid of criticism! Feedback is always appreciated, and I won’t ever get mad at you for suggesting stuff that makes it more comfortable to read for you guys!

______

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[myrandom-fandomlife]

I Hope That It Was Worth It

Rafe Cameron x Reader 

Songfic based on Josslyn by Olivia O’Brien

Not my GIF

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Lil smut at the beginning, Cursing, Very much angst

A/N: Another 2am post woooo! You should definitely listen to Josslyn before or during reading this. This is heavily unedited and very angsty which I don’t normally write so idk if it’s good. Lmk if you like!

I know we never said, where we drew the line

But I was in your bed, almost every night

“Fuck, Rafe, faster.” He slammed his hips into you faster and harder, making you moan. 

“Gotta be quiet baby, don’t want Sarah hearing.” It had become a common occurrence, sneaking into his bedroom late at night during your sleepovers with Sarah. You didn’t put a label on what it was, but it was something.

“Shit, angel, ’m cumming.” He moaned breathlessly against your neck, making you shiver. 

“Me too, Rafe.” You felt him release inside of you at the same time you hit your high, his hips slowing down. You couldn’t remember when you guys started this, but all you knew was that you didn’t want it to end.

I thought we made it clear, 

How we felt, read the signs

He rolled off the top of you and pulled you into his side, kissing your forehead. “You know, I really like you Y/N.” He sighs, still slightly out of breath from your less than innocent activities. He always told you how much he liked you, you would always say it back. You didn’t know when this became more than just sex, but it happened, and you didn’t want it to end.

“Yeah. I know. I really like you too.” You cuddled into his side, laying his head on your chest. You would lay like that for a while, sometimes talking, or just enjoying each other’s company. But eventually, you’d go back to Sarah’s room, sliding quietly back in your place on your best friend’s bed.

But now there’s nothing left,

Cause you did nothing right

You were at one of Sarah Cameron’s famous parties, wanting nothing more than to be dancing with Rafe. But he was dancing with some random blonde. You eyed the two, making sure the taller boy caught your cold stare before turning on your heel with a huff and striding to the bathroom.

When you exited the ladies’ room a few minutes later, you weren’t surprised to see Rafe waiting for you, the random blonde nowhere to be seen.

When he spotted you he turned to follow you, “Hey baby, you alright?”

You scoff at his words and stop in the hall, “Don’t ‘hey baby’ me right now.” 

“What did I even do?” He looks genuinely confused, and for a second you feel bad.

“That’s the problem, Rafe. It’s what you didn’t do.” After seeing the confusion still on his face, you go on, “Have you noticed that I haven’t talked danced with one guy tonight? How I haven’t talked to any other guys tonight? I wanted to dance with you. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to get so drunk that I couldn’t walk with you. Don’t you get it, Rafe? All night, I’ve wanted to spend time with you, but you insist on keeping this a secret, whatever this even is. I don’t want to be a secret anymore, okay? I don’t want to be confused about our relationship status and feel guilty about getting mad when I see you dancing with some random blonde bitch.”

His eyes had grown wide and his jaw tight during your speech, “I- I don’t want to be a secret either,” You could hear it in his voice before he even said it, “But, my father… He wouldn’t understand and wouldn’t approve. He’d make me end this. I don’t want that.” You sigh, “And Josslyn? That random blonde bitch? She’s just a friend.”

You cross your arms over your chest, “When are you gonna stop needing daddy’s approval for everything? He shouldn’t have a say over who you are with!”

He runs a hand through his hair, huffing, “I didn’t expect you to understand.”

You were getting more and more upset at his words, “Yeah? And who would? Josslyn?”

“Come on, Y/N. I already told you she’s just a friend.”

“Whatever. Let me know when you can think for yourself,” You reply angrily and storm off.

You had to go and ruin it, so you could get a quick fuck

I’m sure you had fun doin’ it, and I won’t make a big fuss

You drove to the Camerons’, ready to apologize for being dramatic at the party. You had too much to drink and you didn’t really care how long you had to be a secret, you just wanted Rafe. You pull up their driveway, fishing the key Sarah had given you out from your purse. When you enter the house you can hear noises upstairs that you can’t make out, but you assume it’s just Rafe playing video games.

When you got upstairs, you could hear the noises clearer, it was Rafe moaning and grunting. At first, you just assumed he was jerking off, wouldn’t be the first time you walked in on him. But as you got closer to the door you heard a girl moan, that was when your heart sank. You felt the tears welling up in your eyes before you even opened the door, when you did, they spilled over. It was Rafe with Josslyn, the girl he said not to worry about. He was on top of her, his bare hips moving fast against hers. You involuntarily let out a sob and their heads snap to you, their eyes widening. 

“Y/N-” You heard him say as you turn and ran down the stairs, wanting to put as much distance between the two of you as possible.

But now we’re off, and we’ll never be on again

I hope that it was worth it fucking Josslyn

Before you could get back in your car, you feel a hand on your arm and you turn around, “Rafe, no.” You knew there were still tears streaming down your face. 

“Babe-” He’s tying the strings of his robe, and you were wishing he didn’t look so good with sex hair.

“No, Rafe. I thought that it was only me, but my mistake. This is over.” 

Don’t wanna fight, I just never wanna talk again

I hope that it was worth it fucking Josslyn

You try to turn toward your car, but he grabs your arm again, “Baby if you would just let me explain-”

“Rafe, I don’t want to fight. Just don’t talk to me ever again, okay?” You’re still crying, but not as hard, and he tries to wipe your tears with his thumbs but you pull away.

I know we weren’t together but we’re more than friends,

Said you couldn’t see me while she gave you head

“I can’t do that, I can’t never talk to you.” He tries to plead.

“Save it, Rafe. I know weren’t together, but you know damn well we were way more than friends. And to think I was falling for you,” you huff and shake your head, opening the car door.

“Baby, I was falling for you-”

“No, you know what? I deserve to know this. How long? How long were you fucking other girls while making me think I was the only one?” You cut him off loudly, wanting more information.

“Babe-”

“How long?” You say again, with a more aggressive tone.

He sighs, his head dropping, “It was only her, and it started the day you wanted to hang out and I couldn’t because she was with me.”

Your chest tightens and you feel like you’ll start crying again, so you get in your car and slam the door, driving away. 

So please don’t ever call again

I hope that it was worth it fucking Josslyn

Rafe had called you 5 times already, and you knew if you just answered him once, he would stop. That’s why you picked up the phone on the 6th one.

“Hey babe, I wanted you to know that I really did like you, and I’m sorry.”

“Rafe, don’t call me again, okay? We’re done.”

“Angel, don’t do this-”

Yeah, I hope that it was worth it.

“Goodbye, Rafe.”

~~~

Tags: @overly-b​

[gingerwritess]

Hi ! May I request Loki bringing reader and Elliot for the first time in Asgard ? I really love your writing !

ahh thank you!! this is such a good request omL

okay idk what time period this is, for my purposes Odin Badparent is still on the throne but lovely Frigga has died, but Loki was with you instead of in prison. idk pls be nice.

whoops i made it a lil angsty

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You still remember the first time you saw Asgard: the bifrost had dropped the two of you off at the end of the rainbow bridge and you had promptly grabbed Loki’s hand and used it to punch yourself in the face.

Needless to say, you weren’t dreaming, and the mighty Heimdall’s first impression of you would forever be tainted by Loki shrieking “WHY IN THE NAME OF ODIN DID YOU DO THAT?!”

…followed by you screaming “I FORGOT YOU’RE, LIKE, MYTHOLOGICAL OR SOME SHIT!!” right back at him.

Then you had taken off down the bridge dragging your boyfriend sputtering behind you.

You had ended up staying in Asgard for probably over two months (you kind of lost track of time) and every single day was an adventure. By the time you decided you should really go back home and get your earthly life sorted out, you’d made sure to sneak secret kisses in every tiny closet the palace provided, and every single night had been spent on the highest palace balcony, staring at the stars until you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

It’s easily the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen. Golden buildings rising in the middle of bustling streets, mountains and waterfalls and rivers and more natural beauty than you’d ever beheld, and then there’s the food. The food alone is enough to make you seriously consider leaving the entire planet earth and just becoming a full time Asgardian.

You’d taken every opportunity to go back any time you were able to escape your life on Earth, and when you had finally decided to get married, the two of you spent another extended period of time in the realm during your first few months as a newly wed couple. It has certainly become your home away from home, and even Loki has started to enjoy being there more. The smug bastard says it has something to do with a change in the political dealings of the realm, but you know it’s just because you love it so much.

Not that he’d ever tell you such a sappy, hopelessly romantic thing like that.

He suggests you go visit as often as he can, just so he can see the shock on your face when the bifrost surrounds you, so he can hear the excited squeal when you see the golden castles in the distance, and of course so that he can laugh at you when you fail to address his family and the rest of the royal court properly (you do believe you’re the one being who has ever called Odin Allfather “dude” and lived to see another day).

But after his mother’s death, the realm eternal lost every ounce of its appeal. Wonderful memories became painful, tensions rose, and any joy that had come from Asgard was forgotten. It had taken ages just to get your lover to smile again, and you knew better than to suggest returning to the realm.

It was Elliot’s birth that finally brought a sliver of light back to his life. Yes, he tried to stay positive for your sake and still tried his best to keep your spirits lifted, but you could tell that something was missing from his life, a little light had gone out and needed rekindling.

Nothing does the job quite like a baby.

Once Elliot was born, travelling across space and time into another universe became the furthest thing from your mind, so it took you by complete surprise when Loki suggested you all spend the weekend showing the three month old baby around Asgard. Of course you agreed right away, hoping this could be a chance for him to reconcile old disagreements and even possibly gain closure on a treasured but lost relationship.

Now you find yourself at the foot of the rainbow bridge for the first time in a very long time, this time with a baby tucked in one arm and Loki’s hand locked with yours. Almost as an instinct, Loki looks at you when you step into the glaring Asgard sun, waiting for your face to light up when you see the city as it always has.

Your excitement doesn’t disappoint.

It’s wonderful to be back, but this visit is bittersweet; you’re excited to explore again this time with your son, but something about Loki still seems off.

The three of you spend the day traipsing through the lower levels of the city, mingling with the commoners and enjoying the street food and everyday life of what you guess are normal Asgardians.

It’s pretty obvious that Loki is avoiding the palace.

But he reluctantly agrees to return to the palace for dinner, knowing he owes his father the chance to meet his grandson. Hopefully Thor will be there to help keep things civil at the reunion.

Once again, baby to the rescue.

At first it was extremely tense around the table, but the Allfather seemed to have a soft spot for your little boy. He kept trying to hand him drumsticks of some kind of dark meat, which you politely tried to decline and secretly pushed onto Loki’s plate. Come on, the baby isn’t even one year yet. At one point you even caught Loki smiling when Odin asked to hold Elliot; your heart twisted when Loki caught your eye with an excited gleam in his own at the thought of his adoptive father favouring his son, something of his creation.

He’ll always be searching for some kind of validation from the man who lied to him, whether he realises that or not.

You kind of lost your husband and your son after dinner.

You had taken a quick run back to your room to go get your phone (Loki and Elliot were being too cute at dinner and you had to get a picture) but when you came back, they were gone.

After asking around for a bit, a chambermaid tells you she saw Loki step outside a few minutes ago, and she points you to a winding path leading away from the palace, away from the city into a dark expanse of land.

Figures, doesn’t it? What a great, totally not-threatening place for Loki to take his three month old son.

But despite your fears, the path leads you to a little garden, beautifully well-kept and so brightly coloured that the flowers seem to glow right through the darkness of the night. Out of the corner of your eye you spot Loki, walking slowly between the trees with Elliot in his arms.

For some reason you don’t call out to him just yet, and you follow him until he comes to a stop in front of an exquisitely painted mural on a stone wall. The mural is breathtaking, it looks like it’s been painted with actual gold—wait, these are gods. It probably is.

The scene painted is of a woman, you can’t tell who from the distance you’re watching, but you can tell she is beautiful, elegant, and in every way regal, judging by the golden crown that adorns her head. She’s standing in a forest, it seems, a forest or garden of sorts that looks strangely similar to the one you’re in. Loki is staring at it, and he reaches out a hand to brush his finger over the chipping paint.

Something about this is weirdly familiar.

You silently watch as he sinks to his knees on the damp grass before the mural, Elliot cradled in one arm as the other hand brushes across the ground—a strange type of darkly petaled wildflower sprouts from the soil where his hand touched, an oddly shadowed addition to the beautiful garden you find yourself in.

You’re about to call out to him when you hear him speaking in a barely audible, noticeably pained voice.

“Hello, mother.”

Your breath catches in your throat.

“Have I…have I made you proud?”

Should you go to him? Leave him be? You don’t want to interrupt. You hear him continue speaking before you can decide what to do.

“Look, mother. After all I’ve done, every—every mistake I’ve made, I’ve still somehow been given a son.” He slightly lifts the bundle of blankets in his arms, pulling the blanket away from the baby’s face. “We’ve named him Elliot…and he is the most beautiful child ever created.”

He’s just talking quietly into the air. You’re not sure if he’s speaking to the mural or just to himself; it seems as if his words are swallowed by the wind and cast around every living thing in the lush garden. You might just be sleep deprived and going crazy, but it’s almost as if the flowers and trees are bending towards the god and his son—listening.

Elliot is waking up, slowly starting to gargle cries as he squirms in his father’s arms, and Loki quickly shifts to hug the baby to his chest, shushing him and running a soothing hand over his back.

The simple movement nearly breaks your heart. You step out from behind the tree and quietly walk over to your family, placing a gentle hand on Loki’s back as you take a seat on the grass next to him.

He looks at you in surprise when he feels you, his cheeks faintly flushed at the state you’ve found him in. He never meant for you to see him like this, so exposed, vulnerable…weak.

You put a hand on the side of his face and reach up to kiss him softly, pouring every ounce of reassurance and strength into your lips. His cheeks are slightly wet against yours and when you pull away with a comforting smile, it’s a new, fresh tear that races down his face.

“Your majesty,” you suddenly call out, an idea forming in the back of your mind. You turn to the mural and lean against Loki’s side, squeezing his hand tightly in your own. “Your son is the most incredible father.”

…it feels kind of stupid when you say it. You’re not sure if this is how it works, if just anyone can speak with deceased goddesses by talking to a painting of them, but you push your doubts aside and keep speaking. If anything, Loki is the one who needs to hear this.

“You know, he’s changed my life,” you continue, laying your head on his shoulder and reaching over to rub a hand on Elliot’s back. “The life he’s given me, our son, whatever the future holds for our weird little family…I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like him, but, um, I think I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to repay him.”

“You don’t need to lie in attempt to comfort me.” His voice is so quiet you can barely hear him. “I don’t need your false reassurance.”

If it weren’t for the sensitivity of the current situation, you would have smacked him across the face and kissed some sense into him, but that doesn’t exactly seem appropriate for right now. So you resolve to rolling your eyes and moving your hand to cover his mouth. “Shh. Just listen to me, please.”

Pulling yourself to your feet, you take Elliot out of Loki’s arms and step closer to the mural, lightly bouncing the little baby when he gives another cry and stretches out a tiny, tired arm to the painting on the wall. “You know, Loki has changed, your majesty.” You wince; this probably isn’t how you should speak to a goddess-queen. “He’s changed a lot the past few years. He’s…opened his heart. To me, to our son, even to his brother and father at times. You raised a-a god with a beautiful mind, and yeah, his heart is a little stormy most of the time, but, well…” you catch Loki’s eye and smile. “Most of the time he lets me dance in the rain.”

Loki’s behind you now, his arms around your waist and swaying the three of you gently side to side. You’re cradling Elliot to keep him warm from the chilly night breeze picking up, and Loki’s lips are pressed to your temple, not moving, just wanting to feel you.

“Thank you, my love,” he whispers, and you don’t expect him to say any more.

However, he holds out a hand, and that same dark, unnaturally ominous flower from earlier appears in his palm. There’s a handful of threatening thorns lining the stem, but Loki runs a finger down the stem and the thorns promptly fall to the ground. Thank goodness, too, because then he tucks the flower behind your ear, brushing his hand along your cheek with a small smile as he withdraws his hand.

An unusually sweet gesture from your lover, an action strangely…midgardian.

“‘He lets me dance in the rain’?” He repeats, tilting your head up to look at him. An amused smile is hinting at his lips—meaning you’ve done your job. “My dear…that was awful. So tasteless. Honestly,” he chuckles at the feigned hurt on your face. “I thought I was training you better.”

“Hey, geez, sorry for caring!” You laugh and slap him in the chest, shifting Elliot to your other side. “Sorry I’m not some ‘scholarly poet’ like you, oh exalted one…my mediocre mortal vocabulary will have to suffice.”

Laughing, he takes Elliot out of your arms and wraps the blankets tighter around the little boy, then slips an arm behind your neck to pull you closer to him. “I suppose I appreciate the sentiment.” Thankfully chipper and smiling again, he leans down to give you a quick peck on the lips. “Sentiment. Such a fickle thing.”

You slip your arms around his waist and hug him tighter than you probably should, but hey, he’s a god. He can handle it. “Yes, sentiment, idiot…good thing a mighty god such as yourself would never stoop so low as to actually share his sentiments with another being.”

He sighs and nods in agreement, trying to pry your arms from his waist while holding his son in one arm. “Your sentiments tend to be overtly physical, dear.”

“Shh. You need it, and I know you love it.”

Loki pauses and you take the opportunity to grab his face and kiss him, not letting go of your hold around his waist. Then Elliot lets out a squeal and frees a tiny arm from his cocoon of blankets, grabbing Loki’s shirt and pulling himself tighter against his father’s chest—you almost laugh.

The baby is trying to hug Loki too.

There’s absolutely no way Loki can’t smile at that, and he hoists the baby further up on his chest to press his lips to Elliot’s forehead. “You’ve broken me. Ruined me, softened me, demolished my reputation…”

He gives a dramatic sigh and finally wraps his empty arm around you.

“And I can never thank you enough for that.”

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hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas

[locke-writes]

The Man With A Heart of Ice

Author: locke-writes

Title: The Man With A Heart of Ice

Summary: Based primarily off The Snow Queen for @thefanficfaerie ‘s Fairytale Challenge

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,025

Warnings: Mentions of death, anxiety, and depression 

AN: This may have gotten slightly out of hand but I promise it’s not all that angsty. 

Once upon a time Tony Stark was a far different man. It might be an insult to say that his heart had hardened but those were the words that first came to mind when comparing the Tony Stark of today with the Tony Stark you had grown up with.

Once upon a time Tony Stark had been your dearest and closest friend. Yet as time passed that had changed. As time passed you both had greatly changed.

Perhaps that is what happens when people grow up. Perhaps that is what happens when people drift apart. Or perhaps the thoughts you had as children were all wrong.

The two of you had grown up together, practically inseparable, and always getting into trouble together. The Stark house had become your second home and if you were not there than Tony was over at your own house. The two of you were friends from day one and for the longest time you believed this would always be the case. 

But these were the thoughts of children for as the years go by, things must change. You weren't upset that Tony Stark was a genius, no you were in fact impressed by it. While you didn't always understand what he was going on about you tried your hardest to keep up, tried your hardest to help out in the lab whenever he was creating anything.

Tony was and would be your friend even if he had left you behind for MIT. The two of you were at that moment, already drifting apart but neither of you seemed to notice. You wouldn't have admitted it to yourselves even if you did notice. Yet it wasn't the slow drifting apart that drove a wedge between you and Tony Stark. 

No it wasn't the fact that the two of you struggled to maintain a friendship while he was away. Calls were made and letters written and you tried to meet face-to-face whenever he was home for the holidays. No, it was not the slow movement of your friendship that would change everything. It was the internal change within Tony that tore everything to pieces.

It was the hardening of his heart after the death of his parents.

Directly after the news had been delivered to Tony you were the person that he called. You rushed over and spent the next few days with him. Howard's associates swarmed with questions about when Tony would be able to take over, when meetings were to be scheduled. They worried about money and losing it. You worried about the health of your friend.

You worried about him so much that you neglected your own self.

Which to you was fine at first. Tony was in mourning, you helped with everything that you could. Making sure he ate whether it was full meals or snacks, informing relatives of the situation, informing colleagues. You helped schedule the service, you helped with whatever was asked.

And for the next few months, even after the funeral, you stood by his side and watched over him. All the while you were simply telling yourself that in time things would go back to normal. Constantly lying to yourself was the one way to keep your sanity, to keep your own health intact, stress level down.

Every lie you told yourself was for the sake of friendship. Every lie was to keep everyone but yourself happy.

It became a struggle trying to hide your unhappiness from the person you still called your best friend. You questioned if that title held any significance for him any more. It became such a struggle that you made what would always be considered the hardest decision of your life.

You walked away from that friendship. 

Of course you were proud of Tony and of course you wanted to remain by his side in support but you couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't take the change that had arose in him after inheriting his company. Sometimes you barely recognized the man that he had become. So one moment you were there and the next that you were gone.

If Tony ever noticed that you stopped coming around he never made that clear. No phone calls, not messages, no surprise appearances at your house like he used to do when you were both in high school. No, the last time you ever had seen Tony Stark was the day you walked out his front door and never returned.

It wasn't hard though, to keep tabs on him. You still held a soft spot for the arrogant genius and the fact that his face was plastered on every billboard, magazine, and newspaper made it easy to keep track of what was happening in his life. You removed yourself from the physical presence of Tony Stark but that emotional one was still there.

He would always be your dearest friend whether he was aware of it or not.

After the Iron Man announcement was made and after the creation of the Avengers you began to believe that Tony Stark had changed in some way. You knew it had begun long ago but that perhaps these people were like a family to him. Tony Stark was rebuilding himself and if it was not with your help then it was with people who you trusted greatly. Even if you had never met them.

Perhaps, you often thought, that it is time for me to move on. 

Perhaps, you often thought, that I should stop pretending to be Tony Stark's protector. After all he hasn't seen me in years. After all he either barely remembers me or doesn't remember me at all. Yes you often thought that you were a fleeting memory in his mind. A face or a name that he might possibly recognize but not know exactly why.

While you remembered him, you believed he could never remember you.

The voicemail left on your phone at 2am proved you wrong.

"Hey. It's Tony. Stark…There's something…I can't. Just…Can you call me? We really need to talk? Fuck it. I'm sending a plane"

While you didn't necessarily think that Tony was joking you were certain that he had no idea where you lived and even if he did he wouldn't send a plane out straight away.

But he did.

When the knock at the door came you knew what was going on. At the door was Tony's driver/personal bodyguard. You didn't know his name but you'd seen him with Tony on the news enough times to understand that he was a trustworthy man. With no time to pack you were rushed into shoving anything you thought was needed into a bag.

Arriving at Tony's home you were afraid. No details had been given as to why you had asked to come. Years had passed since you had seen one another yet it was obvious that as much as you were keeping an eye on Tony he had been keeping an eye on you. Or maybe he had someone do that for him, he was rich enough. 

Quickly you were ushered into the living room where Tony's girlfriend, Pepper, was seated. You wondered If you were staying long enough to get to know her. Whoever had stuck with Tony for as long as she had surely shared some of the same experiences that you did when growing up with him. Not wanting to seem presumptuous you remained standing as Pepper spoke. Nothing was to be gleamed from this conversation, you had been spoken of by Tony many times leading Pepper to believe that in the current scenario you might be the only one who could understand what was going on in Tony's head. 

The questions you asked led no answers but rather made it clear to both Pepper and Happy that following through with Tony's request was beneficial. You may have been asked for by name but without a face-to-face meeting with anyone in Tony's life, no one was aware of the connection, the bond, that you two had shared.

You wandered down the hall and entered one of the rooms as you were instructed to. It was a small theater, one you recognized because although it was in an entirely different house it was modeled after the one in the original Stark mansion. Stark home videos were playing on screen. A bad sign. 

Tony only ever watched home videos when he was at a low moment in his life. When the depression or anxiety hit and became to much to take. He liked remembering happier times, or at least that's what he told you the first time that you found him watching the films. 

The day after the funeral.

He didn't turn to face you, didn't say a word, just stared straight towards the screen. As you did when you were children you sat silently beside him and linked your arms. The two of you sat like this for a few minutes before Tony spoke.

"It wasn't a car crash. They were murdered. And I met the man who killed them" he whispered.

No explanation or clarification was needed. Right away you knew what he was referring to although who the killer was, was not apparent to you.

"Is that why?" You questioned, knowing he would pick up on what you meant.

He nodded, barely visible in the dark.

"Steve's…Captain America's friend. That guy on the news with the metal arm. My dad never talked about him, not to me at least. But if he knew Steve than he knew this guy. Friends, acquaintances. He was killed by someone he trusted. Mom was killed by someone she trusted."

In all the years that you had known Tony he had never truly gotten along with his father, but his mother. They had a bond and you knew that Tony would forever grieve her death.

"She'd be proud of you, yknow. Of everything you've accomplished."

"Do you think she would?"

"She was all about saving people and helping them. Trying to make the world a better place. That's what you're doing Tony. I can't imagine she'd think you'd be doing that in a metal suit but still. She'd be proud."

He nodded, "I'm sorry. For everything that happened back then"

"No I'm sorry. I should've. No matter what you were my friend"

"And a pretty shitty one"

Turning to face him you replied sternly, "I will not stand for this self deprecation Tony Stark."

"Alright fine but if that's the case then you can't be self deprecating either" he grinned. The first sincere one you'd seen since arriving.

"Agreed."

Silence fell once more before it was broken by Tony.

"Did I ever tell you I put speakers in one of the suits because I remembered the prank we played on Mrs F when we were in high school"

"Tony we haven't spoken in years. No you never told me but now you're so gonna have to show me. She was pissed"

"In my defense I did pick a pretty great album to play during her class. Although maybe my mistake was only playing it during her class and nowhere else in the school."

"My parents were pissed that we both had detention for that week. They called you a bad influence."

"I am a bad influence." He shrugged, standing and extending a hand to help pull you up.

"Well how much would it cost for the Bad Influence to make me a suit?"

"Free. If I get to pick the color scheme"

"Yeah scratch that. I don't trust you and your choice of color," you slipped out the door and followed Tony down the hall.

Whether Pepper and Happy were watching you, you didn't care. While you wondered what would have happened had you stayed around years ago you knew that it didn't really matter. Today you were back. You and Tony were friends once more, as if nothing ever happened, as if time hadn't passed. As if you didn't have a lot of catching up to do.

"Hey Tony"

"Yeah"

"I missed you."

"I missed you too"

[elizabethrobertajones]

Why do you think that when seemingly funny thing happen, they happen to Dean? Like the fear thing in Yellow Fever or the age thing in 5.07 and 10.12 (both old and young!) or the memory thing in Regarding Dean. I'm sure I'm missing a lot of others (and also the not so funny like the vampire thing in 6.05 and of course Demon!Dean in S10). But I can't really picture Sam on those situation tho, Dean is perfect xD

And this is why Plucky’s is my favourite episode, because the thing happened to Sam and it was also perfect but in a completely different way :P 

If you’ve seen the gifset ever of that con where they were talking somewhat seriously about this, before someone said Sam was the straight man to Dean and then Jared imploded… I mean, I need someone to turn that up for me so I can stick it in the “thanks Jared” section of my massive bi dean meta etc resource… But also they WERE making a serious point before they derailed it :P 

The show has a lot of quietly set in stone dynamics. I mean, well, they’re stuff that can get subverted or a particular arc or season will try to explore things from a different angle, but even when they try to do that they still work within certain rules. 

I should probably just make a gif of it for myself, but my favourite visual for this is in 11x04… actually it’s 2am and I have the Sleep Madness so I’ll just do that… 

It’s such a wonderful image of the 2 of them, with Sam wearing red and Dean wearing blue, and top and tail like that. They’re 2 parts of a whole but they’re utterly different people and they’re often mirror images to each other in ways where when something applies to one, the direct opposite is shown in the other. 

(Sidebar: it’s why I’m so delighted that Sam was like blah blah Cas is family and then Dean was like you may be able to forget Cas but I can’t!!!!1 in 13x03… But on the other hand there are things where the nuances get lost and people make weird wrong assumptions like us having to endlessly prove Dean is the smart one because of the lingering first impression that doesn’t let anyone create any nuance after “sam went to college and dean didn’t”)

Anyway, setting up a straight man and comedy sidekick duo drops that all on Dean because from the first episode Sam’s all serious and has epic angst, while Dean tries to lighten the mood and clearly has the snarky sort of attitude that lends itself towards being the comedic one. Even when they make Dean angsty, Sam is serious and Dean big brother picks on him a bit sometimes (in a nice way) and teases him a lot - this is all broad strokes season 1 characterisation I’m talking about, really. But yeah, even if they go super deep or make Dean super angsty, he’s established as the character who can deal with it. And sometimes dealing with it is shouldering a cracky episode’s concept because they know his reactions are going to be easier to sell the thing.

The other thing is emotional POV and Dean’s largely established as the character who has that. Sam spends a lot of time unavailable as the emotional POV and Dean has shouldered entire SEASONS of it (season 6 especially where he was the ONLY viable emotional POV character for large chunks of it). Emotional POV is not really who the episode is ABOUT but what character is reacting to it and filtering how we should feel about a thing for us. In 6x03 when Cas wants to read the kid’s soul to get info, Dean steps in like wtf we don’t torture kids, but Sam and Cas outweigh him because utilitarian means to an end for the greater good blah blah. It makes it clear if we’d missed it that Dean is the only person whose judgement can be trusted until further notice. So until then, we always have to check in with Dean to get the read on a thing. 

Anyway because Dean is the emotional POV we cry and suffer along with him, but we also laugh along with him.

In 7x14 even when Sam gets a funny episode about him, the clowns aren’t really revealing anything about him - we knew about the clown fear since 2x02, it’s explored before the fight but largely for Dean’s benefit, and Sam getting the crap kicked out of him by clowns makes him a hilarious object for us - the fight scene is ridiculously funny but it IS just Sam having the snot beaten out of him while they come up with creative ways clowns would WRECK you in a fight. Dean gets an emotional showdown with the guy controlling the fears, and is the one who learns a lesson from it, while Sam had never really been set up for anything other than being the centre of attention of all the nonsense because it was really really funny that he was scared of clowns. It’s like the “the ball washer” “the what?” exchange explains Sam’s entire role in the episode. 

(Which was Dean doing big brother teasing but like the entire narrative decided to torture him :P)

And meanwhile when Dean gets the hilarious episodes which turn out to be really really painful, we get deep explorations of his psyche. 4x06 explores his hell trauma and reveals a lot about what he went through, and his fears about what Sam will become (LOVE THAT DABB EXPOSITION :D)… Idk about the old man Dean episode but he had some DEEP scenes with Bobby in it I seem to recall… I think @thejabberwock was probably giffing it recently and putting it on my dash for me to scroll past without really looking the moment I recognised what episode it was :P) but it was an episode that let them sort of relate to each other a bit better I think. Or Dean to feel for Bobby some more. Idk, I think there is a super important conversation between them? This is what happens when you put an episode on your “eeeeh skip it unless you’re being weirdly thorough” list :P

But yeah young!Dean was a massively important Dean episode exploring deep down in his character, but just delivered through silly moments about cake and Taylor Swift and complaining about puberty. Or the CAR THING with Sam where it’s a huge description of their relationship that Dean hops in the car seat even though he might not be old enough to even legally DRIVE her, and then Sam gets in the front seat and Dean just squishes him, hauling the seat forward for his tiny legs to reach the pedals. Like, Sam didn’t argue and it didn’t occur to Dean and they only swapped AFTER this bad dynamic caused a stupid mess and crushed Sam? Hello entire codependency metaphor :P 

(And I don’t think I need to explain 12x11 since it was so recent and so so awful about Dean D: Oh gosh, you could have just given us the Larry riding montage and no episode and that would have been enough :P)

Anyway as the emotional POV this stuff happens to Dean because changes to his self is the plot idea to help with stuff that’s to come or to explain things that already happened in the main plot, or really OTT situations they want for their own sake, that push the boundaries of his character but seem more to do with the main plot unfolding, make sense to explore through Dean, because his emotional landscape is often plot relevant, and the exploration even if it’s wrapped up in a silly concept, usually makes a lot more sense to apply to him because we already have a vast playground of his characterisation to mess around in. 10x12 and 12x11 especially were calling on everything about Dean. I think the writer even went on Twitter I guess when he was writing it and polled everyone on the most Dean-like things they could think of, and clearly got the answers “music, pie, car and girls” because those were the main metaphors of subverting Dean’s character that he offered.

I don’t think this is to reflect negatively on Sam - he gets some fascinating character stuff but connected to the main plot and not delving him in the same way Dean is delved (I think the imbalance and not understanding how they’re written can make people sad on Sam’s behalf he doesn’t get enough development in the same way Dean gets it, which is often by default when we care about character stuff over plot. I also think the writing falls into ruts of this which HAVE favoured Dean and his emotional arcs over Sam’s plot stuff). But Sam can get some incredible character stuff out of the plot things - I think Sam in Berens episodes is a great example because I’m still reeling from 13x03 and the stuff he said to Jack, because that’s all using the main plot to explore Sam - even if a lot of it was saying obvious stuff we knew about Sam, he doesn’t really say it too often and forcing him to say it out loud in episode THREE means the season is going to have to build on that or fail Sam (and he’s so wrapped up in what happens to Jack I can’t see his character stuff connected to that disappearing :P) 

But yeah, him being the “straight man” means that Dean is bouncing off him to be the funny one, and that really reflects on every level of the show, especially when you take humour and replace it with the emotional connection we have to the show in general and humour is just a great way to game that to get the reaction in a positive way, and Sam’s not the serious one so much as he’s dealing with the big stuff, usually, and that can wander off to all sorts of places like his habit of completely hammering down any other feelings to deal with the things that have to be done. Or to do the opposite of scaling up Dean, he can scale down to be the more serious one in a silly episode. Which doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect him - all the episodes where he had to deal with something happening to Dean that put him in charge it really messes him up. Or makes him really good at poker that one time :P 

…

Ah, my neighbours have stopped having a 4 way screaming match outside in the street, I’m going to stop typing and go to bed, so no tl;dr here… it’s turning 2am :D