#I still don't know what the end trajectory of this story is going to be and unusually for me I don't have a starting scene

[quiet-admirer]

My new job has so much less downtime than my last one and I'm being slowly tortured right now as I'm brimming over with horny thoughts and ideas for scenes for the hardcore punk story but I don't have time to write bits down on my phone to email them to myself for later, or or making little doodles on post-its, or even really spend much time daydreaming about them and my brain might explode

[navybrat817]

Hold You Tight: Part 7

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 6 | Series Masterlist | Part 8

Chapter Summary: You meet some of the staff at the club and try to reason with one of Bucky's men about your situation.

Chapter Word Count: Over 4.3k

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, tension, mention of stalking, inner conflict, insecurities, manipulation, possessiveness, flirting, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight! Hope you lovelies continue to enjoy. Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You weren't sure exactly how far the club was from the bookstore, but you didn't say anything for a minute after his declaration. You’d read stories about instalove before, the accelerated trajectory of feelings and relationships. It wasn't something you thought you’d ever be on the receiving end of. That mixed with a dark antihero.

How was this your life?

Bucky chose to break the silence. “You can change here if you want.”

Your heart rate spiked as you stared at the garment bag. There was a chance that the dress was to your liking, your style. But in the car, it wasn't like you could shield yourself if you undressed. He’d see you. Maybe even try to touch you. Was it worth the risk?

Reaching for it, you took a deep breath and curled your fingers around the hanger. The moment you grabbed it though, you set it right back on the hook. You wouldn't bother unzipping it to take a look. You weren't a doll for him to play dress up with.

“Sorry, Bucky,” you began, shifting to face him. “I’m sure it’s a nice dress, but I'm not wearing it.”

“You sure?” He asked. “You haven’t even seen it.”

“I don't need to see it. You got your way about me going to the club and I think it's fair I get my way about the outfit,” you said. “We both know I could've met your friends another time. It didn't have to be tonight. So they'll meet me like this or not at all."

His eyes snapped to you, pinning you in place as you froze. Giving him an ultimatum over something he may consider trivial wasn't a smart move and it wouldn't be a hill you'd die on, but you needed some sort of win. Part of him had to understand that.

Bucky's lips curled in a small smile, but you still swallowed nervously. “You look stunning to me just as you are,” he said, tracing the collar of your shirt with his fingertip. "Perfect even.”

“What?” You asked. You were far from stunning. “You're really okay with me going into your club like this? I don't think it meets the dress code.” You were lucky your black dress was nice enough to get in the first time.

“And? I said in the bookstore that you can wear whatever you want since you look beautiful in anything, so of course I’m okay with it,” he said, his finger gliding down the middle of your chest. “If you're worried about anyone saying anything, don't be. You’re my girl and my friends and I will shut anyone up who tries to make you feel less than perfect.”

Your eyes widened at the casualness of the threat. There was no reason to threaten anyone on your behalf. You could also hear Marc's voice in the back of your mind, reminding you that Bucky was dangerous. “Bucky, you don't have to do anything.”

“If someone upsets or hurts you, yes, I do,” he said.

Addison was the type of person who would defend you if you were upset or hurt. You would do the same for her. A boyfriend type defending you was entirely different. He could've just said that to make you lower your guard or play on your insecurities. So why did it still sound like he meant it?

You gripped his wrist before his touch could move further down your body. “What if you upset or hurt me?” You asked.

Bucky blinked at your question, an unfathomable look in his eyes. “I promised I’d never hurt you,” he whispered. You were the only one safe from his underlying rage, weren't you? Because something was lurking beneath the surface that you hadn't yet witnessed. “But I'd do whatever I could to make you happy again if I upset you.”

“You realize dragging me to your club didn't make me happy?”

“I didn't drag you. You got into the car with my help,” he teased. When you didn't smile, he sighed. “I'm sorry. You told me you wanted a quiet night and I pushed you to go anyway. I just got so excited for everyone to finally meet the girl of my dreams and…” He shook his head. “That doesn't matter. I should've listened.”

The apology sounded so sincere it threw you for a loop. If gaslighting was an Olympic sport, he could take the gold. Everything about the man had you second guessing just about everything. “I appreciate that,” you said, going with a safe response.

He smiled as the car rolled to a stop. “I’ll make it up to you,” he promised, his gloved hand taking yours.

You wouldn’t ask how he planned to do that. “Wait,” you said, pulling him back slightly before he could open the door. “Can we just sit here for a second?” You weren’t ready to go into the club. Maybe you could buy yourself another minute or two.

“You're stalling,” he smiled. You didn’t disagree. “We can't stall for too long. The longer we stay, the more it pushes back the evening and I promised you’d be in bed by 10.”

“I just want to talk for another minute. I still don’t feel like I know much about you.”

“Like what?” He asked.

“Things like your family? You said there was a story about your mom,” you said.

A swirl of emotions passed in his eyes, a range of sorrow to anger and even hope. “There is, but I want to tell you that story when it’s just us,” he said. Just the two of you. Alone together. “I will say though that the original club belonged to her before I turned it into The 107th. It helps keep part of her memory alive for me.”

“That’s a beautiful thing,” you said honestly. She clearly meant the world to him. “And your dad?”

“He deserved what he got,” he said, not an ounce of pity or sorrow in his voice.

“Oh.” There was no lost love there. You wouldn’t linger on the topic since that was likely another story for another time. “Can you tell me why your left hand is always covered? You said I'd never be a mistress, but are you covering up a wedding ring or something?”

The storm raged in his eyes again and you had to keep yourself from shrinking back when he wrapped a hand around your neck. Your heart pounded as he applied a light amount of pressure, but he didn't squeeze any further. Would anyone help you or care if you tried to scream? “Do you feel a ring beneath the leather?”

“No,” you whispered, your eyes shutting when he leaned in.

His breath fanned across your lips. “I told you before that you’re the only one I see,” he whispered. “So when I do wear a ring on that finger, it’ll be on our wedding day.”

You let out something like a whimper when his thumb rubbed along your pulse. While you wanted to stall before, the car now felt too small. Too hot. You wouldn't be able to breathe if you stayed in there much longer. “I think we waited long enough to go inside,” you whispered.

Both of you sighed when he let go of your neck. “I think we did, too,” he agreed, taking your hand again. “But before I forget, you owe me a picture of you since I found you.”

You glared at him since you hoped he’d forget about that, but he only smirked before he helped you out of the car. Parked right in front of the club, you nearly jumped when you saw Raymond standing close by, his gaze flickering between you and his boss. “Hey, Ray,” you said as Bucky pulled you along.

Raymond said your name in reply as he followed close. There were already a few people lined up to get in, but your attention was on the bright sign of The 107th. It welcomed you. Taunted you. You had a feeling you were going to become very familiar with the ins and outs of this place.

“Let’s go, Kotyonok,” Bucky whispered. You hadn't realized you stopped walking until he slipped his arm around your waist and guided you forward.

Bucky nodded to the doorman and walked tall with you beside him. Of course he wasn't nervous. He had no reason to be. This was one of his castles and he was the king. And he chose a peasant to be by his side. A peasant he wanted to make his queen.

The music vibrated through the floor as you went inside and bypassed the coat check. The sound grew louder as you approached the main floor and watched the crowd, all dressed to impres. The lights bathed everyone in red and it felt like you had walked into a sensual version of Hell. And Bucky, the devil of the establishment, tugged you closer by the waist, but he might as well have put a collar around your neck to show everyone that you were his pet.

“Breathe,” he said close to your ear, making it hard to exhale. You were out of your element, the territory somewhat terrifying since you weren't in the company of your friends this time around. At least your legs weren't shaking. “Would you like a drink?” He asked.

“Maybe later,” you replied over the music.

“Then let me introduce you to some of the staff. And don't worry. They know who you are,” he said. Before you could respond to that and ask what exactly they knew about you, he turned you back toward the way you came and waved a couple of men over. Your breath caught in your throat when they approached. Both wore a black top and pants and were as large as Bucky and looked just as dangerous.

“This is Ari,” Bucky said, nodding to the darker haired man who had a scowl on his handsome face. “And this is Jax.” The blonde smirked when you made eye contact with him. “They’re two of my best bouncers and they’ll help keep an eye on you when you're not with me.”

You scooted closer to Bucky on instinct when both of them stared at you, but you didn't lower your gaze. Their looks could never be as penetrating as the man who owned this place. “Keep an eye on me? Are you my babysitters?” You asked. Would they watch your every move, too, and report back to Bucky?

Ari didn't smile, but the scowl softened. Jax, however, chuckled. “Guess you could say that, but we don't mind,” he said, his grin flirty and eyes twinkling as your cheeks warmed. “It's a pleasure to finally meet you, darlin’.”

“Jax,” was the only thing Bucky said, his fingers digging a bit more into your side. Ray gave the bouncer a warning glance, too.

Jax shrugged. “Just being polite,” he smiled. The man likely had people hanging all over him during his shifts with his charm. He probably wouldn't have looked at you twice under normal circumstances, but you smiled back anyway.

“I appreciate the politeness,” you said.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not being polite. You're flirting with my girl,” he said to Jax, your smile falling immediately when the air around you thickened.

“Just being polite,” he said again, not at all bothered by the look his boss gave him.

“Nice to meet you,” Ari cut in, his voice deep and even. People probably hit on him, too. And as domineering as they were, you felt an odd sense of security.

“It’s nice to meet you both. Hopefully you won't have to babysit me too much,” you said, glancing at Bucky. His fingers were still digging into your side, his muscles tense. Was he jealous? “Breathe,” you urged, giving him the same instruction he gave you moments ago.

The bouncers each had a look of surprise on their faces when Bucky listened and slowly exhaled. “Okay. Thank you,” Ray said, gesturing for them to get back to work. “Boss?”

Bucky’s hold on your relaxed a bit. “Let’s introduce you to Hal and then we’ll go to my office,” he said.

“Office?”

“Quieter than the VIP section,” he explained.

You weren't sure if people recognized Bucky or if it was just the aura of power that he gave off, but people moved out of the way without prompting as he led you toward the bar. He smiled as he did so, completely at ease in his domain. “You know, I don't need babysitters,” you told him.

“You need people to look out for you, especially if you’re with me,” he said.

“Because you’re dangerous,” you said. You’d eventually have to find out why. “Once again, you aren't giving me a choice.”

“When it comes to your safety, I can't,” he stated unapologetically. You grit your teeth as he took you to the bar where a couple of bartenders were working. You didn't pay much attention to the guy at the other end since the one right in front of you had no shirt on, his toned torso on full display.

“This is Hal. Our top bartender.”

“Hey!” The bartender flipped his light brown hair back and flashed you a smile almost as bright as his tan. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Again?” You repeated, nodding as your mind flashed back to Addison’s bachelorette party. “That’s right. You gave my friend a shot before we went into the VIP section. You have a great memory.”

“I’m good with faces and you have a very pretty face,” he smiled.

The attention from his staff was dizzying. It wasn't anything you were used to. What was it going to be like when you met everyone else? You felt so lost.

“First Jax, now you,” Bucky muttered. For a split second, you thought he would try to cover your eyes. “Would you put your fucking shirt back on and stop hitting on my girl?”

“Oh, c’mon. I'll put it on after my shift. This is getting me tons of tips already and will only continue through peak time.” Hal winked at you and you tried to smother a laugh. Between Jax and Hal, you wondered if the two of them had a bet going to see who could make their boss snap. If so, they were brave.

“Bucky, I’m not looking at Hal’s abs,” you said.

The bartender snorted when his boss's eye twitched. “Just get back to work,” he grumbled, stepping a couple of feet away from you to speak to Ray.

“You can look. I won't tell,” Hal smiled, leaning on the bar. “Boss man said you’d make an appearance tonight.”

“And here I am,” you smiled, leaving out that it wasn't by choice.

“Is there anything I can get you? Your drinks are always on the house.”

“I’m fine for-” A man in a blue suit elbowed his way in before you could finish. “Excuse me.”

The guy sneered at you as he gave you a once over. “Ugly underdressed bitch,” he said, making you flinch before he snapped his fingers at Hal.

You glanced down at your clothes, your throat tight. You stubbornly refused to wear the dress Bucky got you on principle, but the jerk’s comment was another reminder that you didn’t belong there. What would prompt someone to be so rude?

“Hey!” The guy snapped at Hal again when he didn’t serve him right away.

The bartender smiled, but it didn't look right as he stood back to his full height. Had he heard what the guy said? “You know, it’s not nice to interrupt a lady, John. Maybe you should apologize.”

“Fuck that,” the guy, John apparently, scoffed. He must’ve frequented the place enough if Hal knew the guy's name and you weren't about to cause a scene. A complete stranger shouldn’t make you feel bad anyway.

Hal’s smile disappeared completely. “Do you know who she’s here with?”

“It’s okay, Hal. Thanks,” you said, your burning eyes on the floor as you moved back to Bucky’s side. You didn't want to be there. You didn’t belong there. Why couldn't you just-

“You okay, Kotyonok?” Bucky asked, lifting your chin with a look of concern. “What’s the matter? What happened?”

“Nothing. I’m fine,” you answered, giving him a tight-lipped smile. You just wanted the night to be over. “Can we go to your office, please?”

Bucky intently searched your face, something dark taking over his eyes as your heart raced. “Ray?”

“Boss?”

“Quick change of plans. You take her upstairs and wait outside my office,” he ordered, swiping his thumb along your cheek. “I think Hal and I need to have a quick chat before I join you.”

“Hal didn’t do anything,” you said quickly. He was a sweet guy from what you could tell and he didn’t need to be on the receiving end of Bucky’s anger for something insignificant.

“But someone did,” Bucky guessed, his eyes still dark when you didn’t deny it. “I’ll take care of it,” he promised, ushering you toward Ray.

“Bucky, it’s fine,” you said over your shoulder, but he had already waved Hal over to speak to him.

“This way, please,” Ray said, leading you away from the bar.

Before you knew it, he took you up a flight of stairs and down a corridor, the decor sleeker than the main floor. The closed double doors at the end of the hall you could only assume was Bucky’s office since Ray had you stop just outside of them. You took a breath and leaned against the wall. Though you could feel the beat of the music against your back, it was much quieter. Less crowded. You didn’t feel completely overwhelmed.

“What’s he going to do?”

“Depends on what or who upset you.”

“You’re my girl and my friends and I will shut anyone up who tries to make you feel less than perfect.

You took a moment to look at the bodyguard as he stood against the opposite wall. Stoic. Pristine. “What am I doing here, Ray?” You sighed. This wasn’t your scene. It wasn’t your world.

“Meeting some of the boss’s staff and friends,” he answered.

“That’s not what I meant. I meant… God, I don’t even know what I mean,” you groaned and wondered how long it would be before Bucky joined you. “But I don't belong here.”

“Yes, you do,” he said.

Why in the world would he think that? “How long have you worked for Bucky?” You asked. It wasn’t that you wanted to really talk, but you didn’t want to let your mind race while you waited.

“A few years now,” he replied.

“You’ve seen him date people then. Has he stalked any of his past girlfriends that you’re aware of or am I the unlucky one?” You asked. Bucky told you he tried to go the traditional dating route and that the last woman he saw tried to rob him.

“You’re the only person he has gone to extremes for,” Ray carefully answered.

“Extremes. You mean stalking,” you said. Did that make you feel better or worse that it was just you? “So, you’re fully aware that he stalked me. And that he plans to move me into his place.”

Ray gave you a single nod, though you wouldn’t say he looked proud. “I am.”

“Can you stop him?” Your stomach dropped when he shook his head. “Why not?”

“You can’t stop or delay the inevitable. He wants you and I’m afraid that’s that,” he said.

Incredulity crossed your face. He sounded like Bucky, but this was somehow worse. Did he not see that his inaction helped upheave your life? “Oh, it’s that simple, huh? Bucky wants me, so he gets me? Did you even try to stop him when he began to do ‘research’ on me?”

“No,” he stated. One simple word that held so much weight.

“What the hell?” Fury seared through you as you pushed yourself off the wall. “You didn’t think to step in and at least tell him, I don’t know, that stalking is crazy and wrong and illegal?!”

Ray blinked and pushed his glasses further up his nose. “You think he’d listen to me?”

Your fury didn’t dissipate, but you did step back. “Well. I assumed…”

“That what? That we’re friends? He may respect my opinion from time to time and he may consider me a friend, but he’s my employer first and will not hesitate to remind me of that,” he said, glancing down the hall. “And perhaps it is not my place to say so, but as wrong as it is this is the happiest I've ever seen him. You ground him.”

“So, as long as he’s happy, it doesn’t matter what he does?” You asked, feeling more hopeless by the second. “Why am I bothering? You don’t care.”

There was no reasoning with Bucky nor his men. At this point, you were going around in circles. It was exhausting.

Ray blinked again. “You assume I don't care because I’m not stopping him. His methods are unconventional, sure, but he just wanted your full attention.”

“There are other less creepy ways to get my attention.”

“Are there? You know what we found when we researched you?” He asked rhetorically. “You never go out. You're either home or at work. When you’re at work, you don't give a second glance to any of the men who come in. Where was he supposed to naturally meet you?”

“That doesn't…” Tears stung your eyes, but you refused to weep. Being a homebody shouldn’t be a tool to use against you or used as a means to manipulate you. “I went out with my friends. And he flat out said ‘where’s the fun in that’ when I asked why he didn't just ask me out. Stop making excuses for him.”

It was no wonder Bucky did whatever he wanted unchecked.

“You went out with friends who are all in relationships and aren't interested in meeting anyone. So you didn't go out of your way to meet others which no one is faulting you for. Breaking in was a bit much, but he was desperate and took drastic steps to get to and keep you,” he said. He spoke like it was natural, logical. “You're afraid. I know. But you’re the one in his eyes. If you try to run, we’ll be forced to catch you. Is that really what you want?”

Your hands shook. “I just want normalcy.” Was that so wrong?

“And you wanted someone to love you. So did he,” he said with more gentleness than you expected. “There’s always some madness in love.”

“And between love and madness lies obsession,” you said. That’s what Bucky was to you: obsessed. “Why am I the one? Why is he so desperate to have me?”

The bodyguard considered your question. “Does there have to be one reason? He has no family left. Work and friends can only take so much of the emptiness away,” he said, glancing down the hall again.

You bit your lip. “When you dug into my life, was there something specific that set me apart from anyone else he ever encountered? An incident or anything?”

Bucky convinced himself you were his soulmate, mind, body, heart, and soul. Ray stood across from you and stated he was happy since you were in his life, the happiest he had ever been. But why? Was the man obsessed simply because you were you or was there a piece of the puzzle you were missing?

“That’s not for me to tell, but I can say he’s devoted to you and you only.” He glanced down the hall again before he straightened up. Was there something for Bucky to tell you then? “Be angry with me if you wish, but know that I’m not just looking out for my boss now. I’m looking out for you, too. We all will.”

You heard Bucky’s footsteps as he walked toward you, but your eyes remained on his bodyguard. “Okay,” you whispered. Ray wasn’t going to help you any further. Not tonight.

Bucky stood in front of you, effectively blocking your view of Ray. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long.”

“I hope Hal isn’t in any sort of trouble,” you said.

Bucky gave you a wolfish smile, energy buzzing around him. “Not at all. In fact, I’m giving him a raise,” he said, slipping his arm back around you. What did the bartender tell him exactly and what did he do in response? “I do want to warn you before we go in, they may stare since they’re not used to meetings like this.”

“What, they’re not used to you having someone on your arm?” You asked. You found that hard to believe.

“They’re not used to me having someone I’d burn the world down for,” he said proudly, nodding for Ray to open the doors. “All you’d have to do is give me the match.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said, gulping when you heard the chatter and laughter inside.

Once again, you were the lamb going into the lion’s den. But you could do this. You just had to mingle a bit longer and then you could go on your way. Bucky swore he’d have you home and you’d hold him to it.

The moment Bucky took you into the office, all conversations ceased. The men appeared relaxed, like they weren't aware of or didn’t care about the aura that surrounded the man beside you. He was right though. They all stared. Including a man with a pair of blue eyes you recognized.

The man who bought tulips from your shop.

“It’s good to see you again,” Steve smiled.

With a sinking heart, you began to accept that there really was no escaping Bucky Barnes.

Sorry to cut this off before meeting the rest of the friends, but it was a natural stopping point. And we'll find out what happens to John in the next part. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

One show ends this week, but there are several more on the way, including a surprising adaptation. Of the six shows airing now, five are streaming weekly on Gaga and the other is available via fansub.

Takara's Treasure

I. LOVE. THEM. Their little bird watching date was precious and I loved every moment of it, including Taishin's adorable outfit and over preparedness, Takara's secret smiles, and the patient search for the wallet. I was so relieved that Taishin named his fears about them not being suited upfront instead of letting it grow into a huge anxiety in his own head, and I was also happy Takara was eager to speak with him about his impending relocation. That said, NOOOOOOOO I don't want a forced separation and time skip, show. Please I am begging.

Cosmetic Playlover

This was my favorite week for this show by far, because they actually let us see the relationship at its center! I enjoyed finally spending some time with these two as a couple, though I still find the timing and sequencing of these plots confusing as hell. Last week Sahashi gave Mamiya keys to his place and it was implied they'd been dating for quite awhile and were already serious, but this week we learn Mamiya has never spent the night and they are only just having sex for the first time. It was a real record scratch for me; I can't get my bearings in this relationship trajectory with all the gaps in the story. But hey, at least they finally let them make out a little! For a show that sold itself as toxic sexy, there has been very little toxicity or sex, tbh.

I Hear the Sunspot

*rubs temples* This show is really testing my patience. I got excited last week when Kohei and Taichi finally had a real conversation and it seemed like we were moving forward, but this week we're back to treading water. This story did not need 12 episodes; this pacing, while faithful to the manga as I understand it, does not work well for weekly live action. It's been weeks since we've learned anything new about these characters or advanced the central relationship, and the show continues to stumble with its confused depiction of Maya. I just want this show to pull together and finish strong, because I think a lot of this will be much more tolerable on a binge watch. For now I will just gaze at Kohei's beautiful smiling face and hope for a full recovery.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko

I said last week that the show had gotten so muddled I didn't think they'd be able to end well, and even with those very low expectations this finale still managed to get underneath them. The last several episodes made a mess of the characters, the conflict, and the themes of the show, and to add insult to injury, they capped it all off with angle kisses, a time skip, and a bizarre sex negative ending that had our "boob monster" adult lesbian refusing to have sex with her girlfriend for over a year so she could "cherish" her before randomly kissing her at the office as if that was the important resolution we'd been waiting for. A truly horrid ending that ruined everything this show did so well in its early episodes. I don't understand!! Big sigh and fingers crossed for a decent sexy gl sometime in the near future.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

I've just been beaming and staring into space for the last several minutes after finishing this episode. No matter what else happens in the shows, I love knowing I am always going to end my week in jql on a good note while this gem is airing. This week marked a transition point for Ishida and Mitsuya, as Ishida had a great conversation with Noguchi, found a new passion and put in for a job transfer, and had his final meeting and meal with Mitsuya as writer and editor. Which they immediately followed with a date and mutual acknowledgment of the feelings between them! And what a fantastic date it was, with every moment so invigorating and wonderfully adult. Mitsuya's quiet confidence and amusement at Ishida's nerves, Ishida's clarity on how he wants Mitsuya to see him, the mutual compliments and gestures and smiles and eye contact, ahhhhhhhhh. I also loved that Ishida got to be the one to show Mitsuya something new at the end, to get him to run with joy for the first time in ages and introduce him to a new food. I am so excited to see their dating era begin in earnest. You can find the episode with subtitles courtesy of @isaksbestpillow here.

Tagging @bengiyo to add this week's anime update.

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

Thoughts about Ascended Astarion! (This is a long one, and I'm not trying to change anyones opinion, just highlighting the fact that the player is in complete control of the situation at all times. This game is about choices.) First off, I don't usually prefer to ascend him. But I love all versions of Astarion. His character is so well written and all of his arcs deserve praise and attention no matter what your personal opinion of them are. The devs did an incredible job. If any parts of his arc (ascended or spawn) make you uncomfortable, then romancing him isn't for you. If the dynamic between AA and your character makes you feel scared or upset, don't ascend him. That dynamic is supposed to be 100% consentual. He's a tough nut to crack and his story can be very triggering. I myself broke down a few times hearing him talk about what he went through. There are other companions with lovely character development that you can choose. When people go "ugh he's ruined I didn't want this" My dear, with all due respect. This is the dark fantasy romance option. Emphasis on the fantasy. You didn’t get his approval by being nice. It's not like he's the only option. You chose to romance the vampire. The game warns you of what exactly you're about to do multiple times. You willingly help him murder thousands of people for freedom. A vampire who was a literal slave for longer than he was even alive for just got a MASSIVE amount of power. Were you expecting he was gonna just be a good guy now? He has had NOTHING for so long. His entire life trajectory changed within moments. He’s still figuring himself out. You as the player are still completely in charge. He owes everything to you and he knows that. You can walk away at literally any point. He asks you to kneel and obey to establish trust and a dynamic. To confirm this is what you want. YOU CAN SAY NO. Then, he gets right down on the floor with you. He's either gentle or rough based on your choice. If you don't like the vibe just break up with him at that point like he literally lets you do. Or, even just reload the save. But just remember. "That's what you want, isn't it?". When Astarion ascends, Neil says it best. His mask is off and he's allowed to be at his most terrible with no fear. He doesn't have to perform or be aloof as a distraction from the pain anymore. He was never good aligned. But now, he has the power and ability to give himself and his favourite person the life he thinks they wanted. Otherwise why would you ascend him? His love language becomes acts of service and gifts. He ADORES tav to almost obsession. He's always doting on them and calling them his. The ritual only amplifies that. "but what about what he says if you convince him not to go through with it?"

He’s not lying. He knows tav saved him from himself. It is technically the “good” ending. But that’s not what matters here. The ascension is for characters who are not good aligned. It is for characters that are just as much of a power hungry monster as ascended Astarion is. They want to be a monarch that rules the world over. It’s a role playing thing. Is it wrong? That’s for you to decide for yourself. Not others.

"but what about karlach? He's a massive jackass to her when he ascends" ...Yes. He's not a good guy. Karlach is basically the goodest character in the game. It won't work. And if you do break up with him, he lashes out and says some extremely hurtful things. Because you just broke his heart. It's a perfectly normal response from someone being completely blindsided. He thought you wanted this. You said you wanted this. After everything you both did you get here, he feels betrayed. Not even to mention ascended Astarion does not make you just a regular spawn. You quite literally become his vampire spouse. He thanks you for putting your trust in him. Then eventually you become a true vampire with time. He wants to make sure tav doesn't go insane after being turned. If you wanna learn more about vampire spouses in DnD I highly reccomend doing some google searches. It's fascinating. Is ascending him the right thing to do? No, but it's not "wrong". The game doesn't work that way. Is keeping him a spawn the right thing to do? Maybe, if your character thinks it is. Either route has their sets of pros and cons. It's up to you which ones you think work for your playthrough.

I almost always convince him not to go through with the ritual. But ascended Astarion + durge is a power couple and the vibes are immaculate for evil runs. Just have fun with the game! The devs made all these character arcs for you to explore! Thanks for reading <3

[artbyblastweave]

So, the thing about Ward's worldbuilding is, it's bad on purpose. This is something I didn't catch until a relisten of the earlier parts, but the disconnect between the actual literal apocalypse that occurred two years prior and the shockingly advanced levels of infrastructure and technology is very deliberate. The entire thing is slapdash and farcical. You have people out the door of a shitty concrete hovel lining up for bad coffee. You have cars built out of random scavenged parts, "dumpsters" that Victoria can't manhandle because they're made of clumsily-welded-together scrap metal. Victoria can't reliably navigate at night because power to the city below is intermittent (and her mother Carol happens to live in one of the parts that does have consistent power; that's unexamined, make of it what you will.) The mall cluster shitshow goes down in a "mall" that, IIRC, is called out later as having been basically a dead end economically, a doomed grasp at a sense of normalcy. The patrol block uses recycled PRT gear, Dot's interlude involves the machine army jumping a bunch of bog-standard apocalypse scavengers. What you're looking at isn't a new society built up shockingly quickly; you're looking at the previously-well-supplied-and-externally-supported outpost of the recently destroyed society, and after two years they're finally chewing through the last of the head start they got. The societal equivalent of Wile. E. Coyote hanging in the air above the cliff, or of the seemingly-untouched duelist seconds away from sliding in half. Unfortunately, due to choices made about the timeframe and focus of the story, the Coyote sprouts wings. The duelist whips out a staple gun. Or to come at this from another angle- in The Walking Dead, a comic I really like, I can sort of organize the arc of the apocalypse into three-ish big chunks. For the first eight or nine months in universe, about 48 issues, things are obviously bad, right, quite a few people have died, but there's a sense among Rick and company that they might be able to ride it out, that things are on the upswing. They've got crops going, they have new births, maybe help from the government proper isn't coming the way they thought it might towards the start, but things are looking up! Then, of course, the Great Fuckening of Volume Eight occurs, and you enter the middle phase of the comic, where they're down to like a third of their group, they're food-insecure, they're constantly on the move, they're under attack from rapists and cannibals who've descended into habitual atrocity because they're totally without hope. Children are having mental breaks and killing children, the first friendly guy Rick met in the whole comic is now an insane hermit feeding dead bodies to his undead son, on and on and on and on and on. Bad times, but a comparatively short middle in the grand scheme of things. Then they find Alexandria, and the back half of the comic is spent basically on an upward trajectory with some zig-zags, there are still periodic existential threats but they're clearly past the nadir.

Ward feels like it starts midway through that first part, the you-don't-know-how-much-worse-this-can-get part, with the emphasis on the social tensions, the encroaching winter, but then it just...doesn't get much worse. I mean they have a rough three months, but then they sort of speedrun right to the hopeful future ending as soon as the titans are dealt with. There were parts that I suspect were supposed to be the dark-night-of-the-soul I'm alluding to but they didn't land as such. I feel as though the superhero genre stuff kind of subordinated the apocalypse stuff, made it less visible by virtue of whose POV we were following, and sometimes I feel that as a remedy to this, Ward should have taken place over the course of years, and it should have Just Kept Getting Worse. For example Breakthrough should have had to kill and eat Rain to survive the winter

[romanoffsbish]

Never Mine (Always Yours)

Wanda Maximoff x Fem!R

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!R

Warnings: Selfish/Mean Wanda, Gaslighting, Possessive/Jealous W, Unhealthy Dom/Sub dynamics (Mommy/Baby), Ghosting. R’s a bit of a pushover.

Smut: Top!W(“Touch me not”), Mommy (W), Detka/Baby (R), Oral/Fingering(R), Thigh Riding(W), Overstimulation(KO), Squirting.

A/N: This is a Wanda / Reader heavy story, but Natasha is indeed intermixed, and the end is hopeful, unlike reality. 😂

18+ | Minors DNI !!

"What's cookin' good lookin'?," you threw the flirty banter at the Sokovian with ease while approaching her from behind to take a peek., "Ooh, hot cakes, I see an obvious trend here."

The crush you had on the woman was obvious, she was easy on the eyes—sure, but she was also like the kindest person you'd ever met. There was never anything you were attempting to pull with your words, and normally she'd just chuckle, but today she audibly groaned.

"Y/N.," you flinched at her tone, she saw that and internally cringed over frightening you., "I'm sorry, that was harsh, but I just.," she took a second to think, your soft expression full of understanding not helping her at all with turning you down., "Do you think you could lay off on the flirting? It's just, after Vision I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship. I adore you, don't get me wrong—but I'd prefer friendship."

"Of course Wands, strictly platonic from here on out.," you stuck your hand out for a shake while wearing the kindest smile she'd honestly ever seen., "Y/N, I said friendship, not make a business deal with me.," she playfully slapped your hand away then pulled your giggling form into her body for a much needed hug.

——

Wanda found comfort in you, she could never place the trajectory of where it should go, but she was adamant it wasn't romantic. So, the two of you stood there in an embrace for a few moments in silence before you finally broke it., "Seriously though Wan, what are you making? It smells really delicious, and we both know I'm absolutely hopeless in the kitchen!"

The woman pulled back slightly, staring down at you with a teasing smirk., "Let's be honest here Y/N/N, it's in more than just the kitchen."

When you shoved her away her head flew back as she laughed boisterously., "You're mean.," she pointed her spatula at you as she gasped., "Fine, if I'm so mean then I guess the hot cakes, various pastries and the accompanying sausage and eggs I've cooked are all mine."

"You wouldn't dare deprive me!," you gasped and the woman turned to you with a smirk, but it faded just as fast when she noticed others filing into the kitchen, or more specifically Natasha Romanoff, her thoughts about you were nothing short of sinful, and she wasn't entirely sure why it bothered her, but it did.

"Good morning ladies.," the raspy voice from behind you caused a smile to form on your face, and that made Wanda clench her jaw., "Natty!!," you squealed, and that happiness you exuded slightly settled the witch's temper.

Wanda turned back to the stove, unwilling to watch the two of you sharing in your embrace. Natasha was her friend, as were you, this was her own jealousy to temper, but when she saw the hopeful smile the redhead gave you as she held you close, and whispered words to make you laugh she couldn't contain the rumbling.

Then the redhead made it ten times worse., "Hey, I'm going to the cafe up the street to get Yelena some breakfast, wanna come with?"

Dishes clattering popped your soft bubble with the former assassin, you quickly turned to see if Wanda was okay and found her glaring at the woman who still held onto you from behind., "Nice offer Natasha, but Y/N's already secured herself a plate of breakfast from yours truly."

The situation you were in was alarming to say the least as Natasha's grip on your hip became harsh as you felt her body tense., "Y/N is more than capable of speaking for herself Wanda."

That you were.. but for a moment you weren't.

You gulped when you saw red flash through Wanda's eyes, and to be honest you were unsure where this animosity stemmed from. The past few months were like this, and you never understood why they couldn't stand to share you, but you'd grown to live with it., "Hey, you two—it's okay.," though you spoke it aloud you weren't exactly sure it was., "I'll be staying here for breakfast Natty, but I'd love to meet up with you for lunch at Carmine's if possible, and you can help me pick out a dress for Stark's annual charity gala next month."

"Sounds perfect sweetheart.," she pecked your cheek, then tapped your nose before parting, but not without sending Wanda another glare. When you looked to the witch again she was scowling, she seemed conflicted., "Everything okay over there wiggly woo?," she rolled her eyes, but her scowl also melted into a smile.

"I'm fine honey, now eat up before it gets cold."

——

Wanda was incredibly tense as she stood by the bar nursing her glass of whiskey, her eyes had been locked on you for the last hour, and her body was seething with unforeseen jealousy. Natasha had impeccable taste, the dress she chose for you offered the greatest of views, and her interest in you was only the other half of it.

Every time you laughed at another's joke she clenched her jaw—it couldn't be that funny.

When someone so much as stared at you in passing she felt the tips of her fingers tingling with tendrils of red. But it was when Nat had pulled you to the dance floor that she finally snapped, her glass left behind as she made her way to the dance floor to—well, she wasn't sure what, but she knew she had to do something.

Natasha spun your giggling form around, her heart swelling the more your joy was flowing out of you, but in her movement she also saw the angry Sokovian stomping her way over. There was a clear sense of danger that really tampered her enjoyment of your giddiness. Protecting you felt crucial, so she spun you into her, your back flush to her front, and it was then that your laughter ceased, your heart stuttering in your chest at the sight of Wanda.

"Y/N, I have been looking all over for you.," the way Nat gripped your hips made you aware of the potential of a standoff, and it was only more likely as you picked up on Wanda's accent slipping through her slurred words. Seeing as how this was a party meant to invoke charitable donations you knew it was best to give the angrier of the two your attention.

"Well I've been mingling all night.," you murmured over an obviously nervous chuckle., "Natty and I here had just decided to finally take a break from the hustle and bustle of milking the rich of their abundance of wealth."

Wanda didn't appear amused at all by your lazy explanation, you weren't really sure why you owed her one, but you spun around to give Natasha an apologetic smile anyways. The redhead dropped her hold on you, then she placed a soft kiss to your forehead., "Thanks for keeping me company tonight, I'll see you later."

It kinda broke your heart to see her look so sad, but she smiled at you so warmly that it settled. Wanda on the other hand was scowling so hard as you turned back around that you felt fearful.

"Wands.," she simply grabbed you by your forearm and brought you to the first place with a door that locked., "Did you enjoy that slut?," she slammed you so hard into the wall that you actually had the wind knocked out of you.

"You're just out there flaunting your body for anyone to see.," her fingers dug into your chin., "Listen carefully, you're fucking mine Y/N, no one else gets to see you like this, let alone have their slimy hands all over you, do you got it?"

The mental gymnastics you were facing was extraordinary, you didn't quite compute her sentiment here since they contradicted her very own words last month—she wanted friendship. Now she apparently wants you all to herself.

Though your mind was racing in confusion, your body was not confused at all, it knew exactly what it wanted so you nodded dumbly as you felt a wetness pooling in your panties.

"That's a good girl.," she purred, then in an instant her lips were pushed against yours., "Gonna be mommy's perfect baby, yeah?"

"Mhm," you melted so quickly at her affections that the unfair anger she'd tried to hold onto was fading fast., "Mommy's going to fuck you so well that you never look for another person."

Wanda refused to carry out her sinful actions in the broom closet though, you were worth more than that to her, so she gently pulled you towards the elevator, and brought you to her room. With far less aggressive hands she was quick to remove the both of your clothing, and triple checked that this was what you wanted.

With your lips pressing to her unprompted she knew there was no doubt you wanted this. Carefully she’d laid you down, her lips never leaving yours, wet tongue slipping passed yours as soon as you parted your tingling lips for some much needed air. Lithe hands explored your body, squeezing your breasts to find you were a reactive little one at such a sensation.

“Mommy.,” you whimpered, her lips now biting into the supple flesh of your breasts, leaving her claim behind, and inspiring your hips to hump up into her desperately., “Patience.”

One word was all she gave you, it was torment, but you aimed to please so you stifled your whines, and tempered your hips so Wanda could freely do as she pleased with your body.

“What a beautiful listener.,” she purred, her lips now traveling straight down until she’s hovering above your core, and loudly inhaling your natural aroma in. It shouldn’t have, but it shocked the witch to see just how turned on she already made you., “Goodness detka, your thighs are shining, and my sheets are soaked.”

“ ‘M sorry…,” you whimpered, and the witch was quick to shush you., “Never apologize for the uncontrollable sweetheart, I just wasn’t expecting you to be this wet was all.,” gripping your thighs harshly she parted them further., “

Wanda was slow as she took her time savoring the hint of your essence that coated your thighs, she cycled between softly sucking and harshly biting into the smooth expanse of skin, and truly reveled in just how much you were squirming about desperately for more of her. Feeling needed had her heart and ego swelling.

“Think you can handle mommy’s fingers?,” you nodded, then when you felt a slap to the side of your ass you whined., “Yes mommy, I can take ‘em, please give them to me, fuck me hard.”

Wanda’s tongue slid up your slit, a grateful hum leaving her as she tasted you wholly, before swirling around your clit with titillated precision, all in an effort to ease the burning brought upon by two of her boney fingers entering you in tandem with her ministrations.

In less than a minutes time Wanda had made you a mewling mess, pride filling her chest with just how quickly she’d worked you up. Every thrust came with the prominent feeling of her knuckles slowly dragging over your walls, stealing the breath from your lungs as you were overwhelmed by the pleasure until it came crashing down on you in glorious waves.

Watching as you came undone sent Wanda into a frenzied headspace, she was stuck on the way your mouth opened without much more than a squeak as your upper body arched and your thighs trembled viciously, then tried to trap her hand in between as the pleasure became pain.

Wanda wasn’t much for reciprocation, she was content getting off on your thigh at the sight of you coming undone below her. Her precious baby climaxing unendingly as she pushed you to your very outermost limits tonight. She honestly lost track of how many times you came, you were truly her newest addiction.

All that you had to offer was greedily taken.

Whether it was screaming as she’d flipped you onto your stomach and fucked her fingers into you even deeper than before, causing you to see constellations where white walls used to be, or when she immediately followed that orgasm up by laying beneath you, giving you no time to recover as she was soon pulling your cunt flush against her tongue and letting you ride her mindlessly like a greedy bitch in heat until your tangy juices were dripping down her throat.

It only stopped as she realized you’d slumped into the mattress, your arousal spewed across her abdomen, and your body shook with the tremors of aftershock as you quietly snored.

“Mommy’s precious baby.,” she cooed, her slicked fingers traced the shape of your face as she admired you in all your glory. She placed a final kiss to your lips that you unconsciously met causing her to giggle lightly before she got up from the bed and gently cleaned you up.

“Sleep tight baby.,” her arms wrapped around you in emphasis, and she slipped with you.

—

The following morning came with your groans, you tried to get out of the empty bed to use the restroom, but your legs were dead, and so you went tumbling., “Fuck.,” but you never hit the ground, instead you were enveloped in warmth as tendrils of red lifted you back onto the bed.

“Baby, where were you going exactly, hm?”

You rolled your eyes at the tease in her tone., “Well, the restroom was the initial plan, but your floor just looked so comfortable.”

“Yeah, that fluffy rug does draw people in.”

“People?,” you frowned, of course last night was just a silly one time fluke, alcohol tends to trick people into being reckless, and here you were playing games with your own heart.

“Honey, your thoughts are so loud.,” she set the tray of freshly made breakfast down, then she straddled your lap and comfortably wrapped her arms around your neck., “I’m all in baby.”

“What changed?,” you pouted., “Last month you didn’t want this, and that’s okay Wands.”

“What happened was I was scared Y/N, but then I saw you slipping away and that scared me more.,” she smiled warmly, making your heart melt instantaneously., “I like you for you. All of you, and I find I like you more and more with each day that goes by.”

“I’m fragile Wanda, I don’t trust easy, I am hard to love, but I’m trusting you here with my bruised heart because I feel safe with you, the safest I ever felt, and I know you would never lie to me or break me on purpose.”

“Break you?.,” she smirked, then winked as she wiggled herself over your numb legs., “Maybe”

“Your heart?,” her eyes softened., “I’ll do my damndest not to.,” she cupped your cheeks and sighed softly., “I accept all of you, including the trauma and the heartache and whatever bags you come with, you’re worth the effort baby.”

“Girlfriends?,” you pouted adorably making the witch swoon., “Yes please?,” you pecked her lips sweetly., “It’s a done deal then angel.”

——

For nearly two months everything was perfect; Wanda doted on you like you were her most prized possession, because you truly were.

You'd always joked about being hopeless, but being with you intimately made her well aware of the honesty in your lighthearted quips. It got to the point where she decided it was best she handled your daily routine. Because if you had it your way you'd eat cheese and crackers for every meal, and speed down every single road.

Everything felt like a whirlwind to the witch, because one second she was actively pushing your romantic advances away, then the next she was clinging to you, as if she couldn't exist without you as an extension of herself, and to no one's shock you were clinging right back.

Wanda wasn't sure when it all changed, but somewhere along the way taking care of you went from cute, and joyful to burdensome. She wanted to be the mommy to your baby, but her reservoir of care had suddenly dried up. It'd been a cross she chose to bare, but not one she found herself enjoying, or intending to keep.

This very fact is why she'd been avoiding you for days, ignoring your sweet messages, and moving her schedule around to avoid yours. There was only so much sulking in the library she could do though before she had to face the consequences of her very own actions. So after taking a moment to mourn the impending loss of you, she took off in search of you.

"Hi…," you jumped at the unexpected voice, but you smiled widely and jumped to your feet to greet your distant lover, only to let go and step away with a frown when she didn't hug you back., "If you're not busy, can we talk?"

Oh...

It wasn't hard to decipher her body language, she had bad news, and with all the recent silence and loss of affection it was easy to understand where she was taking this.

"That's ominous..."

"This isn't working Y/N/N.," her eyes shut tight as you instantly sniffled., "I am not sure I was really ready for this, I just saw you with others and it scared me to think I'd be losing you if it worked out with them. But now, all I do is make you cry because I can't be what you need; you deserve so much better than me Y/N."

"So, what now?" your voice came out broken, and your body was lightly trembling, effectively breaking the witches already tattered heart in two., "Are you saying that we're just over?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I've been in tears all day on how to go about bringing this up because I don't ever want to be the reason why someone hurts.," she settled down beside you, and hesitantly hugged you from the side., "But I also don't know that I have the mental capacity with the way my life is to balance a relationship and it's not fair to you if it's one sided like this."

"I understand Wands, this just isn't what you ever wanted, you thought you did, but I am not the person you want.," you sighed, then wiped away at your tears., "You never really did."

"Hey, you don't get to say that for me.," she was scowling now., "I wanted you, but this is not working anymore, and that's all it is."

A tense silence fell over the room, your bodies were no longer connected, and the both of you were just sat in awkward positions until Wanda finally moved to break the deadlocked silence., "I understand if you don't want to be friends."

"Of course I want to be friends Wanda, I love you, and that'll never really go away.," you sadly replied, a subtle hint of desperation in your tone, because you didn't want to lose the woman all together., "It'll be fine eventually."

"I'll need time Y/N.," she stood up, and gently caressed your cheek., "I adore you with all of my heart, but please do give me some space, and I promise that I’ll come back to you."

You nodded, placing your hand over hers you gave it a squeeze, then your lip trembled when she leaned in for a farewell kiss., “Take care of yourself Wanda, I hope you find your happy.”

Once she left the room you fell into a fit of sobs, your chest heaving uncontrollably, and your head soon felt light due to lack of oxygen. Nothing could've ever prepared you for this, one second the witch was doting all over you, telling you of all the dreams she had, and how they all included you, and now you're alone.

Lies whispered in the dead of night are always the sweetest, and when the truth is eventually brought to life they're the most soul crushing.

Your sobbing got so dangerous that Friday called for Natasha, and the redhead was in shock when seeing you so incredibly broken. There wasn't even a question on her mind that she'd not have the answer to, so instead of trying to get you talking, she gently sat beside you, and pulled you in for a tight embrace.

"You're okay Y/N, I got you honey, just relax."

Natasha rocked you, and ran her hand through your hair until your heartbreaking sobs became soft little sniffles with the occasional hiccup.

"She left me Natty.," you croaked, and she held you tighter., "Well she's an idiot.," she relayed, you didn't have it in you to laugh, and that was fine because Natasha wasn't being playful.

"I've got you dorogoy.," she kissed your temple, and held back her own tears at the reinstated action, it'd been months since she'd had you this close to her., "I'm not going anywhere."

—

The next day came with far less emotional regulation, and in turn less stability as you approached Wanda's door, and knocked. There'd been soft music flowing on the other side and you knew she was in there, but she was simply refusing to answer the door.

"Wanda, please, I just need some help with understanding, where did this all go wrong?"

The witch remained silent on the other side, if you didn't know better you'd think she really wasn't there, but you knew her far too well. Shutting down was her method of coping, if she ignored the problem that she made, then she wouldn't have to account for the mess that followed, and in this case that was your heart.

"I don't mean to be annoying, because I fear that's what I'm being by trying to talk to you after you said you needed time away from me.," you decided to just speak freely, and hoped that maybe she cared enough about you to offer you a semblance of closure. "However, I also think me asking for clarity is fair because you were thinking of breaking things off without even cluing me in, and now I'm just sitting here with all these broken little pieces and I need help piecing them back together is all."

You were incredibly wrong though, because the only thing you got was her music shutting off, and the sound of her shower kickstarting.

——

As a month came and went you spent each day unsure how to handle the current situation.

At first you continued to put her first, making her tea in the morning, just like you always did. When you heard she was in a bad space, you sent her kind messages in the hopes that it would help her out of the hole she was in.

All that did though was make her furious. She asked for space, and even if you weren’t in her face like you once were, your presence was still surrounding her everyday. She couldn’t escape the darkness weighing her down, because you were being kind when she deserved your anger.

Wanda had been a consistent presence in your life for so long that being without her just felt wrong. It was too damn hard truthfully, to go from talking to someone everyday to not at all.

To know now that you never meant to her what she meant to you, well that devastated you.

Never in your wildest dreams did you expect her to just break you apart like this, you stupidly trusted her after telling her how hard that is for you, and she still did everything in her power to break you, intentionally or not.

You stopped all of the random acts of kindness, and gave her the space, but she still continued to hurt you, and that baffled you because the woman wouldn’t even speak a word to you.

Today though, she’d have no choice but to say something to you, or at least you thought she would since she’d been your mission partner since the era of Ultron, aka the dawn of time.

Impatiently you waited for her to arrive, but as the time ticked on you began to feel uneasy. Wanda was never late to anything, and that still reigned true as Agent Marques entered the jet in a fit of hyperventilation., “I’m sorry I’m late Agent. Y/L/N.,” he panted harshly.

“I hadn’t a single clue you were to be expected, so I guess it’s fine.,” you grumbled., “However, you’re not even cleared for level 6 missions yet, tell me why is it you’re here for this level 8?”

“Well, Agent Maximoff told Fury this morning that she would no longer be your partner, and this mission couldn’t be postponed, so he said I showed enormous promise, and that you were far too good at your job to really complain.”

In translation, Fury basically told you to suck it up, take the rookie under your wing, and do your job like you always did—quick and well.

Which is exactly what you tried to do, but as you lay on a gurney, trying to guide him on how to fly the quinjet while also doing your best not to bleed out you realize you’d failed.

“Agent Y/L/N, what do I do now?,” he got the jet in the sky, but it was shaking, and you were losing too much blood to remain cognizant., “Call Romanoff, and try not to crash, because if we die, she’ll revive you just to kill you again.”

—

After the mission mishap you took the hint, it was clear as day Wanda suddenly wanted to rid her life of you, and even if she offered you no reasoning, you were going to move forward.

At first, the witch found peace in your choices, it made the guilt of the entire situation slowly fade away. Because if she didn't have to see, or hear about your sadness, then she didn't have to face the music as she brought it all about.

It was in those months of silence that Wanda found herself selfishly missing you. It was a weird feat not having you around anymore, and that's why she was stood outside of your room. Fist raised, ready to knock and plead for a show of mercy, and maybe a bit of forgiveness.

"Wanda, what are you doing here?," you came from around the corner with a giggling Nat, and she was honestly startled., "I, um, wanted to know if we could talk?," she internally cringed at the quiver in her voice, but she held her ground when the redhead glared at her.

"No, Y/N and I—," you turned to face Natasha, your hand gently settled atop of her shoulder, and you smiled tenderly., "It's okay Natty, go to your room and I'll be right behind you with the blankets for our little farewell movie night."

Though reluctant, Natasha left with a kiss to your cheek, and you shifted back to face the center of dissension. All she did was look to you in confusion, so you brushed passed her to enter your room, and shivered as she gasped., "Where's all of your stuff Y/N?," you almost saw a sliver of panic in her eyes, but you chose to ignore it., "What did you mean by farewell?"

"My stuff, not that it's any of your business, is in my suitcases by your feet," you reached into your closet and grabbed your fluffy blanket, then turned to face her., "Farewell means goodbye Wanda, as I'm leaving tomorrow."

"What?," she attempted to reach you but you only stepped away., "Where to?," she felt a tinge of panic in her chest at the glaring truth., "Why? Did I do this? Did I run you off?"

An incredulous laugh fell from your lips, the time for niceties long passed, but even now you hold back., "How conceited of you to think such a thing Wanda.," you stepped up to her, and made sure your eyes locked., "I'm going to Italy for prepaid plans, then after that I'm not exactly sure where I'm headed, but I have time to decide as I'll be gone for about six months."

"You can't go, the team needs you Y/N!," her voice was high pitched as she failed to keep her emotions reeled in, "I need you.," a single tear slipped down her cheek as you laughed again.

"God Wanda, you're insufferable," you moved back a step to create distance for your hands to wave around the air, "One second it's let's be friends, the next I'm your precious baby, then in the blink of an eye I'm nothing to you."

"No, please, you don't understand..."

"What isn't there to understand Wanda?," you shouted, "You pursued me! I was fine with the fucking friendship, but suddenly you weren't."

"I really thought it's what I wanted..."

"Bullshit, you just couldn't imagine me with someone else, so you pursued a dead end."

"No, I wanted this!," she reaffirms more sternly., "Yeah, until you didn't anymore.," her face fell even further as you tiredly repeated the truth, you were her experimental love.

"You went back on your original decision, then when you realized you made a bad call the only one who truly got burned here was me!," you started to feel a wetness on your cheeks, and you were truly shocked to still have tears for this situation at the ready, "You promised me this was what you wanted, that I wasn't a burden, and then you dropped me like I was the bad end of a fucking business deal."

Wanda’s lip trembled, tears streamed down her reddened cheeks, but she didn’t dare respond. This was what she deserved all along, and it brought her a twisted comfort, but it faded fast when your shoulders deflated further, and you sighed in a clear state of exhaustion.

"What hurt the most was the lying though," you chuckled humorlessly as you wiped away your tears, "You said we could be friends, then instead of taking that back too, you just shut me out without another word on as to why."

"I couldn't do it, seeing you hurt too much."

"Feeling is finally mutual Wanda, congrats."

"Please, please don't hate me Y/N/N," she gripped onto your bicep painfully as you went to rush by her, "I-I adore you Y/N, please..."

"That's honestly the worst part," you confess, "As much as I have every right to hate you I don't, all I'll ever have in my heart for you is love Wanda; please, do take care of yourself."

Wanda collapsed the moment you left the room, and for the first time in months you walked away with a pep in your step. Closure is messy, unforgiving, and to some devastating. For one of you it offered a reality check, and for the other it opened up the door to find peace.

—

Everyone knew you were taking time off to put some distance between yourself, and Wanda. It’d been clear to you that's what you needed to move on, but you wouldn't ever say it aloud.

Truthfully, she only chipped away at what was already broken, and it was time you set off to fix yourself, so you could be whole for the next person willing to take a chance on you. There was already someone on your mind, it wasn’t a matter of who anymore, only a matter of when.

You wanted Wanda to be left unscathed here, you loved her too much to wish anything but happiness for the equally as broken girl. So you once again reminded all of them that this was a prepaid vacation that came without refund if you were to cancel it. Then when Tony went to make a quip about the witch ruining everything you reminded him you'd yet to leave in years.

Everyone had met you at the bottom of the stairs to say a variation of goodbye to you, everyone except her, and that was what you wanted. Wanda did however show up, she just watched from the top of the staircase with a heaviness on her heart she didn't enjoy, and you ignored her unmistakable presence.

Natasha's lips brushed over yours softly on the way to your ear, so soft that it couldn't be seen as a kiss, but enough to feel the obvious desire., "Don't be a stranger detka.," you giggled while hugging her tighter. "I'll be back Nat, promise."

As you stepped back her hand slipped into yours, squeezing it tight before she decided to escort you out to your car. Wanda watched the entire engagement with a hatred burning in her chest. It was an all consuming feeling, it felt unfair to feel, and when she heard you giggle again she knew it was a feeling for herself.

She'd been no stranger to the self-loathing, but this somehow felt different—avoidable really.

She watched from the door as Nat helped you load up your belongings, the two of you sharing in conversation and laughter so effortlessly. Wanda wondered why she couldn't grow to be this person for you, because truth be told you deserved the unconditional love of a partner. That was never a question for her, it was the exact reason why she ended things, because she couldn't bare being the reason you cried anymore. Every time she brushed you off, or left you wondering what you did to deserve the silence she knew she was breaking your heart.

Your precious heart that resided in your chest. The one that left you rather vulnerable to the darkness that encased her very own heart. You'd given her everything, and she let you do it even when knowing she could never return your affections. She could only ever placate you, and it actually pissed her off that you were so willing to accept such a broken form of love.

There was love for you that resided deep within the woman, but it wasn't the type to flourish, so she might've felt bad, but never enough to try. Nevertheless, she still felt a sting when you disappeared from her life, even when it was her shoving you out of it. Now too, it hurt her when you never even spared her another glance, she knew you knew that she was stood there.

Your lack of acknowledgement meant this was really over—something she herself initially wanted, but now, as she watched your car disappearing she began to second guess her every decision. Especially when she realized she was now perpetually alone, as Natasha harshly brushed passed her she knew it well.

If only she had just left well enough alone, had she stuck to her guns of friendship with you, and never pursued you so aggressively just to drop you at the first sign of annoyance then everything would be okay... You'd still be hers in some fraction, and she would be happy.

Wanda was never going to be yours, something she'll forever berate her wretched heart over, because now you'll never be hers again...

———

5,876 Words

❤️ Kaitlyn 😭

———

[amuseoffyre]

Since insomnia is kicking my arse of late, I naturally tilted into the thoughts about the nature of the 3-act structure and why S2 of OFMD may have felt off and incomplete to a lot of people.

I am fully in agreement that we lost a lot of valuable time with only 8 episodes and a lot of it did feel rushed, but for the amount of story and set-up and growth and development they needed to fit into 4 hours of television, they did astonishing things.

DJenks has said from the very start that this is a story that has been planned out to take 3 seasons. It's literally a 3-act play and we are currently right in the middle of the worst part of that timeline according to every traditional 3-act structure.

Act one/season one is self-explanatory. Like New Hope in the Star Wars Trilogy or Fellowship of the Ring, this is the set-up. We're introduced to our protagonists and antagonists, the relationships are given a foundation.

The beginning is Stede's journey to becoming a real boy. The inciting incident, the one that actually pushes his change beyond "playing pirates" is meeting Ed. The second thoughts come together in episode 8/9 after his confrontations with Jack and Chauncey and episode 10 is the climax.

Act 2/season 2 is never going to be as smooth and simple as act 1/s1. A big part of the A2/S2 job is set up for A3/S3 and this is what we're seeing and why a lot of story threads seem to have been left dangling.

Again, to call back to Empire Strikes Back and The Two Towers, the structure is much the same: the original batch of people are divided and scattered, the big enemy from A1/S1 is looming, new allies make themselves known. In SW, this meant the introduction of Lando and Yoda as allies plus the hint of the Emperor lurking in the background. In LotR, we have the Rohirrim, Gondor and the Ents as allies and the expansion of Sauron's forces in Helm's Deep, Osgiliath and the winged wraiths.

There's a clear trajectory following the A2/S2 structure:

obstacle 1 - the crews separated and struggling

obstacle 2 - the end of episode 2 and the repercussions of his actions

twist - just when things start to settle, the Ned Low situation happen and Stede kills for the first time

obstacle 3 - Ed's struggle with his identity leading to him leaving

disaster - Ricky's assault on the Republic

crisis - do-or-die battle because they have no other choice

climax - the last 15 minutes of ep. 8 live here.

As with SW and LotR, there's an ending, but weighted with the knowledge of a story that is meant to continue. Each of those act 2 films end with the heroes still aware of the looming threat, some of them heading out on new missions, and some of them resting and healing. There's brief pause, brief respite, a moment to take a breath.

We have all the characters in place now and the battle-lines have been drawn. Luke still needs to confront Vader (I see you, impending Ed and Hornigold confrontation), Frodo still needs to destroy the ring, Aragorn still needs to lead the army against the Black Gate, the second Death Star is still hanging in the sky.

I'm so excited to see what S3 brings because we have so many arcs ready to go: Zheng's vengeance trip, the inevitable enforced out-of-retirement arc for Ed and Stede, Hornigold, Ricky trying to maintain his tenuous control of the republic given how many of his people were killed when the crew escaped, the pirate rebellion gathering forces.

Also how often do we get shows/films where the supporting cast are given this much storyline? We have a named/speaking-role cast of upwards of 15 central characters. That is a staggering amount of people to work with, when most shows would only focus on the leads and a couple of their friends. Six is the average for most TV shows, while comedies can inch higher because ensembles, but most ensembles don't get as much as our crew did.

I know a lot of people aren't happy about Izzy's death. I know I would have liked to see him a lot more, because he's such a grumpy old bitch and I love him and him affectionately roasting Ed and Stede would have made my entire month. But I'm also aware that narratively, as a figurehead of the old ways of piracy and "we were Blackbeard", it was a symbolic death as well - a sign of the death of the old ways of piracy and of Blackbeard as was.

(Also, they Obi-Wanned him. I'm not over that. Gave him the "if you strike me down I will become more powerful" speech. I'm just... guys, your star wars nerdery is showing XD)

So while it was flawed in places and pacing, given the scale of the story they're telling, the number of pieces and characters they had in play, and the arcs they have been setting up while also still keeping the humour, I am giving a standing ovation for a remarkable piece of work.

[deramin2]

(Spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 1)

I don't have any expectations for wherever FCG will stay dead or come back somehow because I've spent 9 years watching Sam Riegel totally subvert my expectations in a narratively compelling way.

But I will say that "FCG shouldn't come back because it would lessen the impact of a narratively perfect death" is EXACTLY what people were saying about Percy's first death after C1 E68. (The first televised character death.) If he had to have an end, it was a fitting end that, while tragic, neatly tied up the thesis of the story. Would Taliesin even want him to come back? With Whitestone saved and Ripply killed, was there even much left to explore?

They found Percy's death letter telling them he loved them all but please bury him in a ditch with all his designs so he could be forgotten by history. He was so sorry for all he'd done and he could never make it up.

But they tried anyway, having to wrest Percy's soul away from Orthax. The players knew what they said in the resurrection ritual was meaningful along with their rolls. But they did not know they were also having to convince Taliesin. If they'd tried to appeal to Percy's soul in the wrong way, dice be damned, Percy was going to refuse. What we got was really meaningful and powerful roleplay (especially from Marisha and Laura) that did convince Percy along with successful rolls.

Being brought back did not at all weaken Percy's own sacrifice or the impact of his death. It forced him to confront everything he'd been running from. It forced him to see that there were people who loved him and would not let him throw himself away for them. They didn't want a martyr, they wanted their friend. It utterly changed the trajectory of his character.

There's only four ways I can think of on the table to bring FCG back:

True Resurrection — Incredibly expensive high level spell. They would have to find the materials as well as someone who both can and is willing to cast the spell in the middle of a war to stop a second Calamity. None of this would be easy. The ritual could still fail. FCG could decline to come back and the other players would not know that until they went to all the effort. The Raven Queen views True Resurrection as heresy which is why they didn't try it on Vax. How would a second chance change them?

Reincarnate — Lower level and cheaper spell. FCG would come back as a fleshy being instead of an Aeormaton. Would the experience live up to FCG's fantasies about it? How would it change them to realize they are truely alive, and always were, but are now also mortal? Reverse Veth story? Wild ass Pinocchio retelling? What does it mean to get a second chance but everything about you is different?

Wish — I think this would count as duplicating True Resurrection. High component cost and requires a high level magic user. (If it's duplicating a spiral there's no risk of no longer being able to cast Wish.)

Hag Deal — They do know a fatestitcher Hag who likes them and limes making deals even more. Orym may be able to just extend his existing deal. What are the consequences for the deal marker as well as FCG? Would the robit feel responsible for that person's fate? How would that affect how they feel about coming back and the meaning they need to make from it.

I don't think there's a right or best option because whatever we speculate on, the actual result will be full of meaning and very poignant. I can't imagine that Bell's Hells won't try to bring him back. They've lost so much already. They couldn't bring back Eshteross or Bertrand or Will & Derrig. They couldn't live with not even trying. Maybe their method works, maybe it doesn't. But at least they tried.

And if FCG does come back, they have to live with knowing that even though they saved their friends and put an end to Otohan, they also hurt their friends by treating themselves as disposable. They forced their friends to confront that each of them might have done the same and that's deeply unhealthy. It will change the character development tremendously.

My favorite film and play genre is where the protagonist dies (or nearly dies) (usually self-inflicted) at the beginning and has to journey through purgatory to find themselves again before they can return to the living. Films like Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006) or Castaway on the Moon (김씨 표류기 2009). Death matters because it reminds you to live. The journey is finding meaning in both life and death and coming back utterly changed.

[separatist-apologist]

The Thing About Mor

I'm gonna say this and then I'm gonna shut up about it.

I don't think it's necessarily the fandom's fault for the way they read Mor, just as a disclaimer. Nor am I saying you are required to like her. Please reread those sentences before we continue.

The thing about Mor is that she's originally set up to be both a foil to the traditionalism of the Spring Court and a counterpart to Feyre's friendship with Lucien. Feyre is immediately struck by Rhys naming not Cassian or Azriel- who seem terrifying to her- as his second in command, but Mor.

Mor is also placed directly between Cassian and Azriel in what I think was originally supposed to be some kind of love triangle for the three, with the ultimate pairing as Mor and Azriel. I think the narrative of ACOMAF sets Mor and Azriel up as potential mates just waiting on a snapping bond, with Cassian as maybe her first choice given how she slept with him as a teenager.

Throughout ACOMAF, we see Mor as someone who can hold her own against the men in her lives. When they go to Hybern, Mor is the only warrior left standing and is the one who ultimately rescues them. She's also the person Rhys trusts to get Feyre in the Spring Court (ignoring the strange "politics" of why Rhys' second-in-command can break into Tamlins manor but the High Lord can't).

She is ALSO the person who goes to Feyre once Feyre realizes Rhys wasn't honest about the bond, and she's the one who asks "would it really be so bad to join our family?"

I don't know what changed for SJM. I think the nessian of it all ended whatever potential love triangle might have happened with Cassian-Mor-Azriel, and I've heard rumors she was getting a lot of pressure to make her stories more diverse (who was asking SJM, of all people, to tell a compelling queer story?). Regardless, somewhere between ACOMAF and ACOWAR, Mor's trajectory changes.

This is seen so clearly with the rise of Eris who, up until ACOWAR, is an undisputed villain in the story. Not just Lucien's story, but the story as a whole. We're told he holds Jesminda down while Beron beheads her, and he participates in tracking Lucien down with the intent to kill him. He gleefully watched Lucien tortured in the second trial UTM, and is willing to give up Feyre's name to Amarantha IF he knew it.

And in the beginning of ACOWAR, Eris is still the villain. He chases Lucien and Feyre across multiple courts at the behest of his father, presumably to hold Feyre ransom back to Tamlin in exchange for who knows what, and see Lucien executed. Eris's cruelty on the ice sets up a truly cinematic moment for Cassian and Azriel to come swooping in and save the day, and once again highlights our good guys (Lucien especially) and our bad guys.

And I do feel like somewhere in this passage, SJM falls in love with Eris and begins to give him the Rhys treatment at the EXPENSE of Mor. Rhys, who we're told, respects Mor over nearly everyone, unilaterally decides that they're going to trust Eris. There is no discussion to be had here. I think this creates a specific moment for readers to be like, okay well if Rhys did this without talking to Mor, then maybe he doesn't trust her. I don't even think its an explicit thought- but implicitly, whatever Eris shared with Rhys is enough to convince him of Eris's goodness over Mor's hatred. And I think that lends itself to a lot of the "maybe she's lying" theories that come about, ESPECIALLY after ACOSF and Eris telling Cassian that there was more that happened than Mor has shared with them.

Additionally, Mor is supposed to oversee Hewn City which means this deal SHOULD have included her because Kier's Darkbringers are part of her jurisdiction, but unless I misremember, this deal is brokered by Rhys, Eris, and Kier. So Mor's position in Hewn City feels ceremonial-I think this is partly because SJM ascribes to a very narrow definition of masculinity and power, and even though Rhys claims to share it, what she shows us does not match with the telling. Rhys decides what happens in Hewn City and he can make decisions without Mor's input so what's she even doing down there besides acting like decoration?

This is also where, I think, a lot of people get frustrated and confused because the "court of dreamers" are sold to us as a family. And in the confession between Mor and Feyre, we suddenly learn Mor is afraid to come out to the people she claims are her closest family. In our current understanding of the world and what it often means to be queer, your found family are supposed to be your safe people, the people you can be unapologetically yourself with ESPECIALLY when your blood relatives reject you. And here Mor is, telling us she is too afraid to come out to the point she sleeps with men specifically to keep Azriel off her back (unclear how that's helping) AND to not arouse suspicion.

So like- it's not a leap to understand why the fandom writes Mor off as a liar or someone that can't be trusted because SJM has inconsistently applied her personality in order to suit her narrative versus telling a consistent story with consistent characterizations. The fandom is left to string it all together and creative a cohesive story and I do think the problem with that is we don't agree.

Interpretations of the text vary, so on one end you have "I think Mor is lying because the narrative, whether it means to or not, is implying Mor shouldn't be trusted. Rhys no longer trusts her and is keeping secrets for her, and its through Rhys we're told Eris CAN be trusted." and on the other its "Mor isn't responsible for the men around her and is held to a different standard than the other characters who are better fleshed out (in part because they're associated with a man)."

Again, a lot of this is speculation. I don't know what SJM's true original plans were, nor can I speak with 100% authority why she changed them. I can say that SJM is notorious, across all her works, for changing motivations and characterizations to fit her narrative and that ACOTAR feels the most egregious. I don't think she ever had a solid plan for ACOTAR beyond the feysand romance, and everything else has been slapped together based on how she feels in the moment, which leads to a lot of the arguments and frustrations we currently experience around most of the characters, honestly.

[gffa]

“If you want to pull the thread, then pull it.” The tpm showing tonight and the acolyte trailer release had me thinking about “fate” and “the will of the force”. In Ep I, Qui-Gon talks quite a lot about the will of the force: he talks about how finding Anakin was the will of the force, and later on tells Anakin midichlorians enable a Jedi’s connection with the force and that they “continually speak to you, telling you the will of the force.” These reminders and the new lines about fate and the force from the Acolyte trailer had me thinking of one specific scene in TPM: the scene where Qui-Gon pushes the falling die on his bet with Watto for Anakin’s freedom. Perhaps he was right and finding Anakin was the will of the force, but in the end it was Qui-Gon’s decision to do anything about it. To me, the “will of the force” is the trajectory by which the die falls. No more, no less. The midichlorians told him which way the die would fall and he acts to change it. The “thread to pull” is Qui-Gon deciding to shift the die. Luke, when told two different destinies in the OT & the “will of the force”, chooses neither and creates his own. Perhaps he was right that finding Anakin was the will of the force, or it was right that Luke and Vader’s confrontation was fated by the Force but past that are the choices we make. It’s our decisions that affect the galaxy as a whole

This has been the hill that I've been ready to die on for awhile and that I think it's the Jedi's hill as well! One of my favorite things about Star Wars is that destiny seems to exist, that Anakin is the Chosen One, George Lucas has confirmed that he was, but nothing within the story itself really pushes him into a specific path about it. The Jedi don't even bring it up around him (other than Qui-Gon pushes it during TPM, which is part of his case to adopt Anakin late) or if they do, it's often presented that they doubt it. It's not until Mustafar that Obi-Wan says a single thing on-screen about believing that Anakin is the Chosen One. On Mortis, Anakin himself expresses doubt about being the Chosen One, he was clearly not spoonfed that idea or had it pressed upon him that he had to do Something. Whether the Jedi believed it or not, various ones fell into different categories, they left Anakin to his own choices. Destiny exists, but it's your choice what to do about it. I fully believe that Anakin's destiny was to be in that office with Palpatine and to side with the light, to defeat Palpatine there, that's what being the Chosen One was about. But because he had free will to choose, his fears and anger made him choose a terrible path. I do think the Force has a will, it has a direction it wants to go, like a river running downstream, but that when you wade into it, you're still in control of the choices you want to make. You can walk upstream. You can build a dam. You can stand still. You can even get out of the river. Maybe the Force did draw Qui-Gon to Tatooine that day, maybe it didn't, they'll never really know. Maybe it nudged things so that Qui-Gon was in a position to see that dice roll, but then it was his choice to flip the die over to what was a better outcome. Pulling the thread if you want to pull the thread is what all evidence we have on the Jedi already points to believing in. The Force exists and it does have a pull to it, destiny exists. But it's still up to you the individual to decide whether or not to do it. (But I'm fine with people in-universe who misunderstand the Jedi and what they believe in the Force, because that's been something that has hung over them in every single era of Star Wars ever.)

[machapelady]

Bake me a Bun

Soap/Retired!Soap x f!reader Fluff with a slight suggestive line, daydreaming, get this man a baby. Mild stalking(?) I do not know if I should be continuing this ^^ (There will be eventual smut if I keep writing this, also might end up adding some TW because we all know what happens when you tell stories about wounded soldiers) Divider credits go to @vibeswithrenai , lovely work, I recommend checking them out ^^

Johnny is at his roots, a family man. Scottish mead flows through his veins, so does the sweet pie his grandma used to bake.

Before retiring, Soap liked to spend some of his 'vacations' with the whole MacTavish family. Lunch here, brunch there, and kids that flap their pa's kilt just before dinner. He would play chase with the wee lads, loved by his nephews and known as 'Big Uncle'. Often carrying two rascals at a time, or letting losing against them on a hand to hand battle, he was a truly warm and homecoming man.

"John, when ya givin' me sum' wee bairns?" His nan would often ask.

To what his answer would be, between gritted teeth "No bon, no bun, nan. Army giv' no time f'tha"

And so then, he was shot.

Retirement didn't treat him that badly, just gave him a rather permanent headache and a scar on his temple.

Doctors told him to stay put, to enjoy his free time on the hospital' open gardens, the oxygen would do him good they said. But Soap was not a man that would be sitting there, staying still after years of battlefield, movement and stress.

Yet, after trying to get away a couple of times and finally sat down by Price, he took the orders and stayed put like a good kid.

He owed Simon one. The man had managed to push him a fraction away from the bullet trajectory, earning himself a sprained ankle. He would often visit Johnny when free, although for a brief time, dropping telltales of what the squad had been up to. Gaz was the one to stick around most, nagging him about finally being out of the hellhole that being a SAS operator was. They would watch their football together, until nurses told him that they needed to do a check-up.

On a rare sunny day, the whole squad visited him. Price had brought a letter from Alejandro, wishing him the best recovery, and to visit whenever he felt like. The wind almost blew the paper away, sitting in a bench under a tree.

"Bet ya miss us son" John muttered, a tired smile on his face. Soap groaned, rolling his eyes, "honestly, I think I prefer t'share some sweat with yall, rather than this hell of a cell" Even Simon laughed at that.

" 's no sunshine 'round. Bloody white walls fucking strain my eyes every single damn day" He would keep complaining. "I don't miss ya nagging tho" Ghost quipped teasingly.

And so they laughed, walking around looking like a group of old childhood friends that threw shit at each other, being Gaz the one with the most pointy comments "I can't fathom sleep without ya snoring Soap"

Something bumped against Price, earning their stop and a tiny, quiet "sorry" from a tiny, young voice. It was a young lad, no more than six summers at his back. He looked rather scared; faced by an old man, a wounded soldier, a guy with only his eyes visible and a piercing gaze under a cap.

Price squatted "No need to be, lad. Where's ya mum?" The kid shook his head and pointed to a woman, not far away from their position, that was surrounded by kids. She seemed stressed, looking around with wide eyes until she spotted the young boy.

"Oh Matt! Don't go running away like that you little rascal!" She rushed to the kid, and made eye contact with the Captain. "I'm so sorry sir, can't really keep all the kids still sometimes"

"Visit trip?" Price tilted his head slightly, to what she nodded. "We like to show the young ones to respect the injured" Her smile was almost as warm as the sun that day. "They gotta learn more than numbers and letters in school after all"

She took the kid away after apologizing once again, urging the little one to go back with the whole group, that she graciously guided around the hospital garden.

A second pair of blues followed her around as she went by, earning a chuckle from Kyle "Looks like he has a reason to stay here now"

"Hells Bells" The only thing he could say.

For what he could see from his room's window, it was a whole week of field trips for different classes.

To his eyes, she paraded around with the kids, with a sweet smile and warm eyes, showing the little humans things around, be it the entrances, the pond, or making small talk with some old lady that was condemned to stay her last days in that white prison. Like he felt, incarcerated for his health, until the doctors decided his wound and other past poorly healed injuries would not hinder him from having a "normal" life from now on.

For you, you were trying to show the kids some hospitality, to be respectful and appreciate the healthcare and what it could do for the people. For them to listen to the old tales of those veterans in life, or to enjoy the breeze and the grass after walking around for a long time.

Johnny was mesmerized. Completely lost in those warm expressions you always had dancing on your face, or in how you guided the children with caressing palms. Maybe it was the ring of your voice, that now rose above the constant tingle of his newly acquired wound, or the manners that you carried around. He felt strangely isolated in the room, a constant need to go outside and enjoy the grass, of course he wasn't trying to get a chance to talk with you.

Right?

So there he was, again in a bench. And that day he decided to hang his dog tags around his neck. "What a show-off" Simon groaned before saying goodbye couple of hours ago. "Don't come sulking if you scare her away you mutt", and a pat on the back.

It was the same boy as the other day, the one that approached him mesmerized by the shining plates on his neck. Matt sat on the floor, inquiring about what did Johnny do for a living. 'What is that? What do you do? Oh that's so cool!' he would chirp here and there.

Johnny couldn't really say no to the wee thing in front of him, puffing his chest and sharing some of his less-bloodied trips. The puff was taken down by a sudden nervousness when he saw you approaching again.

"Matt how many times do I have to tell you not to go astray from the group" She came already scolding the boy. "Oh, you are from the other day, right sir?"

Ah, she remembered him.

"Just doin' me time in here for a bit" Johnny answered with a boyish smile. "Can't blame the wean, he was all giddy 'n' interested"

"And what might that interest be?" You squatted a bit, poking Matt's cheek. "Miss. L/n this is Soap!" Oh, he got your last name now, maybe Laswell was willing to do some digging as a reward for his honorary actions right? Did he just call you Miss? That in his mind was a Jackpot. "And what does...Mr. Soap do?" She looked at him from bellow, her eyes flickering to his dog tags for a second. "I just tell old tales of sweaty men trying to save the world"

You weren't able to peel Matt from his spot, resigned, decided to indulge in some old stories, bringing the whole group so they could all listen to a veteran's yapping.

"So my mate, you see, big scary man with a mask" He would say, "took'em all down real fast i'm telling ya"

His eyes would often flick from kid to kid, landing on your face. To his delight, you were also caught in his stories, attentive eyes and full focused on how his mouth moved.

"And I was all alone! Havin' to scramble what I could! Bad men trynna catch me but I'm telling yall, nobody cannae stop the Soap" The boasting was impressive. How proud Johnny was of his doings, how he managed to tell his story in Las Almas without mentioning the cartel, or the corruption. "Even took a bloody bullet!" He pointed to his fresh scar, still healing. And that's when he saw your eyes turn somber, rather cold. "Alright kids, Mr. Soap here has lot's of stories, but surely that means he's very tired right? Let's go visit more places around!" After insisting a bit, you peeled the children away from his circle and quickly whispered to him with a disappointed gaze "I do have no doubt on what you did to protect people, but please, showing wounds and violence to children is not appropriate"

When you turned away, he sulked. He had fucked up. Ghost was right, he showed off too much and fucked up big time. He wanted to chase after you, to grab your wrist and apologize. To promise not to use those marks again if it meant seeing your bonnie face.

Yet knowing it would only make it worse, he silently went away, locking himself in the white room and not letting the nurses come in.

"Fucked up" He told Price. "Bonnie thing didn't like when I told the bairns about the bullet"

He earned a sigh, and a folder on his lap. "Didn't Simon tell you to slow down? I'm glad you still got some energy in you, son." Soap cursed under his breath, taking the folder and giving it a quick read. "You know me Sir"

Your whole legal name was there. Education, birthplace, family. Everything. Just a normal civilian, with a normal job. A teacher, the daughter of a warm family.

The folder didn't explain your charming eyes, or the small smiles you would make when a child showed you something. The information didn't do you any beauty, and he was pissed.

He had to hear it from you. Your own name, then his. Then again his name between some whispers or whimpers even. Not long after, Price took him for a walk, trying to pull him away from the constant frown that adorned his forehead.

It was Friday, he could tell you were a bit more energetic than the past day. Guessed it was the last visit you had to bring to the hospital, the last time he would probably see you if he was the one to respect boundaries. But what boundaries if he already had your address and identification number.

"You thinkin' about her still?" Price inquired, sipping on some cheap tea from the cafeteria. "Can't shake it cap. I just cannae. I gotta go tell her I'm sorry or sumthin'" He crossed his arms on his chest, right leg nervously bouncing under the table. "You seen how she look' with the bairns?" That earned a chuckle from the older man.

And bless the heavens he thought, when you entered the room with the group of children, dividing them in groups around multiple tables and asking the barista to make around thirteen milkshakes. You stayed on the counter, counting each quid to later report it to the school.

Price stood up, gave Johnny a pat on the shoulder. "Second try won't hurt you more than the first" He walked away, leaving Soap to shed his personal coat, turning into the homeboy Johnny once more.

"Hey"

You sighed, looking at him. "Sorry 'bout the other day. Got carried away" he mumbled "thought wee things would like something more...thrilling"

"Still not the best thing to say"

"I ken"

"They kept repeating your stories after that." His eyes flickered "Even started calling the other patients by 'sir' or 'ma'am'" Finally you met his eyes, hiding a shudder under your skin feeling like he was seeing right past your soul with those blue gems. This of course didn't pass by him.

"Ya enjoyed 'em?"

"Perhaps"

He leaned in a bit, not yet getting into your space, but enough to give you a tiny whiff of his soft scent. Was it citrusy? Warmth was on it, a little bit fruity but not overwhelming. You could swear there was a tinge of all-in-one shampoo too.

"Okay, yes. I liked your stories." Finally surrendering to his observing gaze, you relaxed on the counter a bit, the barista slowly pulling out the milkshakes. "Still, too bloody for some group of children"

"Hm. You know, even me ol' boss scolded me" The most heavenly chuckle swarmed his ears. "The man with the hat?" Johnny flashed a smirk, eyebrows gathering in the middle giving you an apologizing look and offering you his hand "Johnny's the name"

Johnny helped you bring the milkshakes to the tables, and again started telling his stories. This time with your consenting look, avoiding violence or blood on them.

There was a tiny difference now. His eyes weren't the only ones fluttering between the children and you. Lost in him, in his pearls, sometimes having to scramble your brains to understand his accent and phrasing. Unable to keep eye contact for long, covering your flush by turning your attention to the kids.

You couldn't really lie, he was charming. A warm smile and soft, piercing eyes. A voice that was like silk, but sometimes rugged, unable to ignore how his hands, rather calloused, accompanied the movements of his voice. The dog tags that he still wore, now tucked under his shirt, chain making waves over his collarbone, adorned by a thick and strong neck.

He seemed less proud, and more invested into the stories now. It wasn't about boasting anymore, but a constant fight to keep the kids hooked, and subsequently you too. He bathed proudly on how your cheeks would rose up a bit, or how you fidgeted with the soft fabric sometimes tracing the figures of the funny and childish patterns you wore. He wanted to up the tone, to impress you more like a bird trying to court his counterpart.

But he was a trained man that rarely made mistakes, a quick learner on top of that, not hitting the same rock twice.

Time passed, milkshakes were empty and some kids couldn't keep their eyes fully open. With a rather tired voice, a little raspy from the constant storytelling he chuckled at the wobbly tiny heads in front of him.

"Tired them all" You softly smiled, exhaustion also apparent on your face.

"Do I pass the test, Miss. L/n? Stories good enough?" He leaned slightly against you, a friendly shoulder bump earning another holy chuckle from your lips. "I give you an 8, missed some staging".

"Oh lass, I cannae be doin' backflips and shi- stuff" He corrected himself and tapped to his temple, the scar now healing better "Quite rude to be askin' tha' from a poor wounded soldier"

With a smile, you dismissed him and woke up some of the kids, telling them it was already time to go back home. Some of them whined, wanting to listen to more stories, trying to make you promise for it, something that Johnny eagerly supported, teasing you a bit. Others were completely fried, yawning and rubbing their eyes.

Before leaving the cafeteria, you turned around and thanked him. "Johnny, right? Mine is Y/n" Oh but that he already knew, although it didn't bother him hearing it from your mouth.

What he didn't know was that you would visit him next Monday, taking with you some homemade buns you had made, showing gratitude for his help the past week.

Maybe he didn't fuck up that much, and maybe he could win you over by winning over the kids.

And he was good with children.

[variousqueerthings]

thing about rose, for me, is that she wasn't there first -- this in a "she was first in nu!who in the sense that this was the first person to travel with nine, and the first person since the timewar, and the last person that nine was with, to the point that ten was born out of that experience/modelled on her."

and in that framing, I am a big fan of her haunting of the narrative, because it start outs with her placing herself inside the doctor's ribcage and rebooting their ability to want to feel things, but unfortunately rose is still a human, like every human the doctor travelled with before, it's just that the doctor forgot how to steel themself against that inevitability because of the circumstances around meeting rose

this is The thing that I find tragic about martha, because I think she could have been that person, if she'd been the first person post-timewar to travel with the doctor, but because she's coming in during bleeding-heart times, she's got to deal with triage instead. and yes, there are wonders, and yes, there are good times, but for a lot of it, it's shrapnel, and I think if it hadn't been, she would have had a very different attitude towards *waves hands* space and time travel and aliens and the universe (one where she wouldn't be the person trusted with something like the osterhagen key)

and donna had a sense of that Space the doctor was in post-rose (she canonically stopped the doctor from dying in runaway bride) and stepped away from it, and didn't get back to the doctor until some of that hole-in-chest had been bandaged up, which martha did a great job of, but didn't get to really benefit from, and I think that's the sad thing about martha jones, is that she absolutely got a taste of the beauty and the splendor, but never without all the violence and heave weight that was put onto her

which, again, she seems to have been very aware of, considering she joined UNIT and Torchwood. her eyes were barely ever rose tinted (no pun here) during her whole journey in the story. martha really is in my opinion the most tragic companion (that I've met so far, I know Adric straight up dies, but maybe he had some fun times before that?), because yes, donna loses her memories and rose is in a parallel universe, but that's more tragic for the doctor -- they've both built lives

in donna's case there's probably a lot of imperfection in that life, but clearly a lot of joy as well, with her and her husband and her kid and her mum, and I'm sure she'd have preferred to be the donna who saw the universe and was splendid, but martha never gets to forget, and has to continue her life one step out of sync of everything she could have been

which, maybe her life is pretty flipping fantastic, but we really don't know, which is the biggest thing I side-eye about the first nu!who era. that whole weird ending with the sontaran and mickey is like... anti-character work, it answers nothing and it makes very little sense

all I know about her at the end is that she more than anyone saw the doctor's life and became a soldier (still a doctor as well, but...) because that was the work she saw needed doing, and she's the kind of person who does what needs doing. but is she... okay? youknow?

but going back to the original point, is that framing martha through the lens of rose is all well and good in the sense that rose is the reason the doctor is at that emotional point when he meets martha -- although donna absolutely had a very big hand in that as well -- but once we've established that, martha's arc is martha's arc, and it's dull to me to frame it as the "rebound" arc or even particularly about alloromanticism (including -- and this is why i get why people do it in fandom -- some shit said by rtd, which is just less interesting than what I get out of it, so shhhh)

she's got so much going on, and her relationship with the doctor changes the trajectory of her life, and it's in many ways a more interesting and far less straightforward trajectory of bad-to-better that many companions get -- it's a wonderfully complicated narrative that (and again, I get that some of this comes from within deliberate framings of the text, even though I think it's more than open enough to do more with, death of the author and all that -- but certainly not all of this is text either, some of it is ignoring what is actually there) is done a disservice by not going through the real messed up fascinating extraordinary shit that's going on during her era + arc in s4

but also... is she ok? I want to know. it's one of my top three burning questions, since we're getting a bit of best-ofs of the noughties DW era, some of your crimes can be righted by a simple bit of martha mr davies

[thewertsearch]

GG: ok, so what is the plan? […] CG: OK WELL THE MOST IMMEDIATE POINT OF BUSINESS IS CG: YOU SEE THAT GLOWING BLUE SCREEN BEHIND YOU? […] CG: YOU NEED TO TURN THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OFF.

The Fourth Wall again?

So far, it's really only been relevant to the non-canonical Hussie interludes, but maybe it’s dangerous for Watsonian reasons, too. Gamzee certainly seems interested in it...

It did belong to Jack originally. Maybe Derse can still make use of it, so it needs to be disabled before someone like DD gets any clever ideas.

CG: I'M NOT GOING TO SAY MUCH ABOUT IT. CG: BUT SUFFICE TO SAY THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO SCREW WITH. […] CG: THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

Oh, I get it. Karkat’s taking a little break from canon himself, and explaining to the audience that too many meta shenanigans would eventually ruin the story.

I’m absolutely in agreement with this. A fourth-wall break in the wrong place could completely ruin the comic’s dramatic stakes. This is a goofy comic, and we have fun here, but going full Deadpool would tear the plot to shreds.

CG: […] MY ROLE AT THE MOMENT IS TO ACT AS A SORT OF GO BETWEEN FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE SELF CG: TO HELP ALONG THE PROCESS OF MAKING THESE PLANS CG: WHILE YOUR FUTURE SELF IS DELIBERATELY VAGUE ABOUT SOME STUFF SO AS NOT TO "JINX" THE CONCEPTION OF THE IDEAS IN THE FIRST PLACE I GUESS?

I like this idea. It allows Future Jade to guide her past self’s actions, but filters her guidance through a layer of indirection. Present Jade will be getting some help, but she'll still be able to come up with her own original ideas.

Jade really doesn’t want her plans to be stable-looped into existence, and I can get behind that sentiment, too.

CG: MEANWHILE TIME IS KIND OF RUNNING OUT HERE, WHERE I AM CG: WE'RE COUNTING DOWN TO SOMETHING CG: SOMETHING LOOMING ON THE TROLLIAN TIMELINE AND NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS CG: AND MY TEAM IS KIND OF FALLING APART CG: I'M COMPLETELY LOSING TRACK OF EVERYONE AND WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

It's been a while since we've done a Veil roll call, actually. Let's give it a whirl.

Karkat is coordinating with Jade on what may or may not become the Scratch plan, and trying to keep tabs on his deteriorating team.

Vriska and Terezi are fighting a proxy war using John and Dave respectively.

Aradia has exploded, and the status of her ghost is currently unknown.

Kanaya is trying in vain to dissuade Rose from the trajectory that Scratch and the Gods have set her on.

Gamzee has recently developed a hatecrush on Dave. He also has some huge hidden importance to the comic, and he’s going to be attacked close to the end of the countdown.

Eridan is planning to confront Jack with his 'awesome' new Science Wand.

Tavros is on his way to confront Vriska and there's like a 98% chance she's going to paralyze him again.

Feferi is consorting with monsters in her dreams. She's also destined to be killed, but her assailant is currently unknown.

The only trolls who (as far as we're aware) aren't up to something are Equius, Nepeta and Sollux.

[i-sneezed]

Some Elriel evidence that doesn't get much attention.

First of all, if you're just having fun with your ships, you do you, man. I'm not here to rain on your parade.

However, there are so many people out there that are CONVINCED of Elucien/Gwynriel that I can't take it anymore and I have to throw in my two cents, so here we go. I'm gonna break it down by ship.

Elucien

There's no way, bro. And we can set aside the fact that if that ship were to sail it would be the same sort of love story as Nessian (reluctant mates).

The most obvious thing to discuss here is that Elain is clearly not interested. And neither, to some extent, is Lucien.

Let's look back to ACOWAR when Lucien talks to Elain in the library. He thinks about Jesminda. "[She] had loved him without question, without hesitation. She had chosen him. Elain had been...thrown at him."

Like Azriel, Lucien wants to be chosen. He's had it before and he sees the value in it. Unfortunately, he's a fae male and he has a hard time ignoring his instincts where his mate is concerned, so he keeps trying. Even though he can hardly stand to be in the same room as her. Whereas Vassa...

Elain, on the other hand, has absolutely no interest in a mating bond. After Graysen breaks her heart in ACOWAR, Feyre says, "Some sliver of hope had been shattered today. That Graysen would still love her, marry her--and that love would trump even a mating bond."

Obviously, that quote is in direct reference to her ex-fiance, but we see Elain reconfirm that desire in ACOFAS when she tells Feyre explicitly that she doesn't want a mate. I don't think it's personal to Lucien, I think she rejects the idea of being told who she should be with. Of being robbed of choice.

We learn from Nesta in ACOSF that their mother always said Elain would marry for "love and beauty". I think for Elain, a mating bond is not the same as love. Also, small aside, but who is constantly regarded as the most beautiful of the bat boys?

We haven't seen them have a conversation about their mating bond yet because why would we? That will happen in Elain's book (which is most likely next).

Gwynriel

I feel like this one is more dangerous to get into so I'll tread lightly.

Firstly, the majority of evidence for this ship comes from a bonus chapter that the majority of the fandom doesn't even know exists. Anyone who listens to the audiobooks doesn't know about it unless they poke around ACOTAR stuff online.

It doesn't make sense for an author to essentially change the entire trajectory of a story in a bonus chapter that most people don't know about.

Also, I think a big problem with the BC is that people read it after they finish the book, so it can feel like the most recent thing to happen in the story, but it's not. It happens about 2/3 of the way through ACOSF and a lot happens after that.

But before we get into that, let's talk about the shadows. People lose their damn minds that Az's shadows dance for Gwyn and vanish for Elain. The truth of it is that we don't know what dancing shadows actually mean, though. It's the first time we've seen it happen. However, we have seen his shadows vanish for someone other than Elain.

In ACOMAF, when Feyre meets the IC for the first time, they vanish for Mor. "Mor patted Azriel on the shoulder as she dodged his outstretched wing...The lurking shadows vanished entirely as Azriel's head dipped a bit."

So we know that the shadows vanish in the presence of someone Azriel has romantic feelings for, but we don't know what makes them dance.

Then, at the end of the BC (after he said he didn't even consider Gwyn to be a friend) he feels a spark of joy in his chest. Good. My shadow man deserves happiness.

But we know that it doesn't last because at the very next training right after Solstice, Neta comments that Az is "More aloof than usual" which clearly shows us that he is far more hung up on what happened with Elain than whatever may or may not be going on with Gwyn.

For her part, Gwyn becomes more comfortable around Azriel after Solstice. We love to see it because the poor girl has been so traumatized and, like Az, she deserves to be happy.

However, at no point does Nesta or Cassian suspect there to be any romantic connection between them. Not like how Nesta did with Az and Elain. ("His secret to tell. Never hers.").

And then at the climax of the book, Gwyn is thrown into the Blood Rite. At no point is Az even half as frantic as Cassian (which a mate would be) and he is way more preoccupied with whatever's going on with Eris.

At the end, when Nesta is getting ready for her mating ceremony, Gwyn tells her that she's not ready to leave the House of Wind again. Poor thing has been re-traumatized because of what happens in the BR and can't stand to leave the House. And y'all think she's ready for any kind of romantic relationship??

Nah, let Gwyn heal without the influence of a male.

Elriel

So I'm got gonna talk about the rescue, him figuring out she's a seer, giving her Truth Teller, or any of the usual stuff because that's been said and said and I have nothing to add to it.

Instead, I want to talk about what I believe their trope will be and share my evidence with the class. Cool? Cool.

Okay, so, I think we all know that if Elriel is endgame then their trope will be forbidden lovers.

Personally, I am of the opinion that the purpose of Az's bonus chapter was to confirm that for us, not suddenly change the entire trajectory of the story.

But forbidden lovers makes so much sense for Elriel because of what we've seen in the books, not just the BC.

Looking at ACOMAF again, Mor tells Feyre, "'Azriel's got no shortage of lovers, though, don't worry. He's just better at keeping them secret than we are.'"

Then, in ACOSF, when Feyre's talking about how Elain figured out she was pregnant first, she says to Azriel, "'I think she's got you beat for secret-keeping'".

So it's already in-canon that Azriel can keep his lovers secret very well and that Elain is just good at secrets in general.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE

A moment I never see anyone talk about is something that Cassian observes at a family dinner. "Elain had already departed with Feyre, claiming she had to be up with the dawn to tend to an elderly faerie's garden. Cassian didn't know why he suspected this wasn't true. There had been some tightness in Elain's face when she said it. Normally when she made such excuses, Lucien was around, but the male remained in the human lands with Jurian and Vassa."

Elain already has secrets the IC aren't privy to. So what's one more?

[userautumn]

i don't know why you act so surprised that some people would be upset about how sooo many people in this fandom, you included, used to preach about how buddie was going canon, just trust the storytelling blah blah blah (sorry i always thought that was bullshit). and now you're like just kidding maybe it will be bucktommy forever instead. i'm not blaming you but really popular people in this fandom building up the idea for years that buddie was going to go canon and then just dropping that is absolutely part of what made this fandom go batshit don't play dumb about that

I'm not responsible for what other people think 🤷🏾‍♀️ I'm sorry that you appear to be unable to differentiate between me articulating my opinions on my blog versus me giving you targeted leadership about what you should think or believe, but I said in my pinned for years that I'm not your leader re: Buddie and it's not my job to "convince" you one way or the other. See pinned below:

Second, I'm going to be painfully blunt:

You gave me social capital. You, and everyone else who followed me and interacted with me, have made me a "really popular" blog. I have mixed feelings about that, both positive and negative, but we're here now and it is what it is. The problem you and I are having is that you made the mistake of believing that the social capital that you gave me made me an authority on all things 9-1-1.

It didn't. I'm not and I never claimed to be.

So you want to talk about the story? Yes, let's talk about the story. Per Oliver's own words, we as a fandom did interpret the story correctly. Oliver said in May that they (the higher ups) fished around the idea of Buck being bisexual in Season 4. Given this confirmation and, absent of any other love interests, it stands to reason that Buck and Eddie were supposed to be on a romantic trajectory, culminating in the events of Season 5 which is why Season 5 ended with me (because I can only speak for myself) fully believing Season 6 would be the season they finally got together.

Season 6 comes around. Not only do Buck and Eddie not get together, they also don't share many significant scenes with each other. Kristen was the full-time showrunner at the time, so I assumed she wanted to highlight the other dynamics on the show. This was also confirmed.

Season 7 comes around. Buck and Eddie share many significant scenes but none of them leave room to interpret explicit romantic intent the way some of their Season 3 / Season 4 / Season 5 scenes (in my opinion) have. Now, this is something we will likely disagree on because what I view as "romantic intent" is going to vastly differ from what you may view as romantic intent and that's fine. The gist is that none of the scenes Buck and Eddie shared this past season seemed geared toward explicitly pulling their relationship in a romantic direction.

Just the opposite, in fact. Enter Tommy.

I mentioned at the beginning of Season 7 that I didn't think Buck and Eddie were going canon this season. I said months ago that Tim et. al. were introducing the show to a new audience and that, what would be a slowburn for us, would be sudden for them. I said months ago that if, Buck and Eddie were to go canon, I didn't see it happening before Season 9 because they would need to build that relationship up for the audience. I still maintain that and, in fact, said in my personal DMs that whatever happens in Season 8 is going to be the determining factor for a lot of what happens in the future of the show.

So you want to talk about interpreting the story, trusting the story? That is what I am doing and, right now, the story seems to be veering away from romantic!Buddie. Does that mean they won't ever veer back? No! Does that mean I think Tommy is going to be Buck's endgame? No! What it does mean is that I'm leaving the door open on both fronts as a possibility. Which shouldn't be a shocking concept and yet is.

Third and finally, let's be clear, this betrayal you're articulating isn't directed at me or anyone else in the fandom. It's directed at Tim. You spent years getting your hopes up about a ship you're now not sure will come to fruition and that scares you. I feel genuine empathy about that because that's always such a shitty feeling and it's easier for you to direct your frustration and sadness and anger at targets that are more accessible because we're right here and, in this way, your emotions still have an outlet. But I'm not to blame for this uncertainty any more than any one else. I've not conducted myself perfectly in this fandom and I've owned up to it every single time. But in the conversation of what, exactly, drove this fandom to becoming "batshit insane," it's definitely those feelings of betrayal and uncertainty (which, for the record, I don't blame anyone for having).

Hope this helps.

tone: /not mad

[hollowtones]

opinions on yoshis story? imo that game doesnt deserve to have music that good

I haven't played very much of it and I've been meaning to do something about that forever. I've played some of it and I've watched others go through most of it.

I know I've seen a little bit of modern grumbling (I don't know if this was a point of contention when the game came out because I was three at the time. OK I looked up some reviews from the era and it looks like it was also a thing people were mad about back then. LOL) over the fact that the game isn't more like "Yoshi's Island" & that it feels like it's aimed more at younger audiences. I dunno. I've never been bothered much by games with some tie to one another doing something different. (Some of the response reminds me of Transformers fans being upset over Hasbro making toys and shows for very young children sometimes; admittedly maybe I'm off the mark here.)

It's a very easy game if you want it to be. You can just eat any fruits you want forever and it's over in a blink. And it's fine. It's fine if the video game lets you beat it very fast if you want to. You can also try to collect only one single kind of fruit in a level and that makes things take longer and makes them feel like more of a scavenger hunt (especially if you're trying to get all the melons). I think that's neat. There's sort of an interesting design trajectory from "Super Mario World" to "Yoshi's Island" where the levels become a little longer, a little more meandering, a little more exploratory, sometimes (not always, and not massively, but it's still there) a little less linear. No time limit. Going for collectibles instead; making every level about getting a score of 100 (if you want to). You can see that iterated on in "Yoshi's Story"! No singular end point of the level. Bigger rooms to explore (while still keeping levels relatively short). More of a focus on puzzle solving and exploration. Collectibles simplified to one meter that you fill up, but there are multiple things that can fill it & you get rewarded for only collecting one kind. (And also the hearts that let you pick what level you go to next. There's a lot of "opening up more of the game for yourself if you want to go out and look for it" here. Are there other collectibles, actually? I don't really remember...) Secret fruits that give even more points. It makes the levels feel more like puzzle box toys that you roam around in. It's neat that they designed that for younger kids and it's neat that you can make it more difficult if that sounds fun to you. (I would have to play more of it myself to decide if going for all melons is fun for me specifically. But I like it on paper, y'know?)

The pop-up storybook theming is cute and the visual aesthetic of the game overall works really well. It feels like arts & crafts dioramas made by kids (or with kids) so they could play pretend with their toys while reading a storybook. It's got very strong toy feel overall. The music is really fun!!! It does the dynamic soundtrack thing where some parts of the track change depending on your health!!! I'm always clapping my hands like a seal with a game's music changes depending what I'm doing!!! Maybe it's a little silly of me to say this, given that it's a sentiment I've had in the past, but nowadays I scratch my head a bit at "the music in this has no right to go this hard" type comments. It goes hard because the musicians got hired to make it like that. (I'm imagining a guy who thinks the "Yoshi's Story" music is the hardest music ever created and I'm smiling serenely about it. I hope he's real & I hope he's out there somewhere.) I'm glad they let Totaka do something that feels at least a little experimental for the goofy Yoshi babies storybook super happy yay & jumping throwing game soundtrack. It's a fun contrast, isn't it? It feels very of-the-era in a way I'm having trouble externalizing outside of "well it's a little weird and multi-genre". It's neat that they all have a shared melody that they draw on.

Thanks for reading my short essay on a childrens' video game I haven't played a lot of yet. I need to go take a shower now.