#Hyperfixating is my lifeblood

[quiet-admirer]

My new job has so much less downtime than my last one and I'm being slowly tortured right now as I'm brimming over with horny thoughts and ideas for scenes for the hardcore punk story but I don't have time to write bits down on my phone to email them to myself for later, or or making little doodles on post-its, or even really spend much time daydreaming about them and my brain might explode

[rayngomango-art]

I will not explain myself. They are majestic.

Edit: I drew Raph and Mikey the next day here’s the link to those pieces

[seedling-lotus]

the timeline for dgm is literally going to drive me up a wall

[king-crawler]

one of the best parts of the video for me are those stupid af 4pix resolution pics of candy, they crack me every single time (and I watched this video beyond bounds of reason but I am very normal about it and not hyperfixating)

I had an art fest today and I was showing this vid to my bestie while no one was buying anything, and when he said that "lifeblood" line and then this "EWWW" with that pic of candy's empty plush head on the bg I laughed so loud it made people look at me weird. I don't know why it's so funny but you killed it with the s+ tier my type of humor

also this "lol" picture you used so frequently is legendary and I need that

OKAY I'M DROPPING MY CRUSTY KING CANDY IMAGE LIBRARY. Pretty sure i got a handful of these pics from tumblr user @kingcandy but they must've changed URLs since then (honestly fair, these pics were super old. i was just enraptured by their found footage quality)

the plushie carried this entire video

bonus one i never used ft. turbosquish

[owls-den]

So, I was relistening to Me, You and Steve, when it hit me HOW PERFECT IT IS FOR SNOWBAZ!! So huh hi Carry On fandom, I did a thing (in 4 days to be exact... I was hyperfixating, as usual).

(if Rainbow sees this: hi! Your books are my lifeblood and you're the best!)

[thana-topsy]

Ok I gotta come out and say it. I envy you. Like, to a painful extent. The amount of people you get interested in your characters, how you're incredibly skilled in both visual art AND writing, how readers your fics have. I absolutely adore your work, but seeing it fills me with so much envy it's honestly ridiculous.

Did you deal with similar feelings towards other creators when you started writing fic by any chance? If so, how did you deal with those feelings? I feel genuinely stuck feeling worthless about my fics. I'm not as verbose with my language despite over 10 years of writing under my belt and it seems as though my plots don't interest people as much either. So I feel like there's just nothing of worth about any of my work.

I know that this is a lot to dump on you, but I felt like I would burst keeping this all in. Much love to you and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Hey there my friend, I've been sitting with this all day trying to decide how I want to answer you. I genuinely appreciate your honesty, because I know this is a familiar feeling for a lot of people, myself included.

I remember when I first rejoined Tumblr in early 2019, desperately trying to find anyone to talk to about TES, I would look at all these blogs gettings asks about their OCs like they were little celebrities and feel envy and longing. Now, when these feelings start to bubble up, I force myself to take a break from sharing my work, be it art or writing, if only to remind myself why I'm creating it and who I'm creating it for: myself. I know it sounds cheesy, and I probably sound like a broken record, but genuinely I just do this because it's bursting out of my skull. But I won't lie and say the engagement and the support doesn't have a big impact on my motivation. I love sharing with people and getting an enthusiastic response.

I think something people might not realize, or maybe they just forget, is that I used to write a lot of smut. Like...a lot of smut. (I still do). Hahaha and it doesn't get a lot of comments or engagement, but it does draw a lot of eyes. Once my smut stories started taking on heavier plotlines, a comment I'd get a lot was "came for the porn, stayed for the plot." And I wasn't writing smut because I thought it would get me an audience, I was just horny LMAO. But it encouraged me to branch out and experiment with the types of stories I was telling.

Anyways, art is another big part of it, yes. But that also didn't get a lot of engagement in the beginning, and my skills were rusty as hell. I was getting maybe 15 notes on here, 30 likes on instagram. But that didn't really matter to me, I was just insane with inspiration. I'd reach out to people and ask to do art trades, got ghosted a lot, made some good friends, (some people who are still my good friends to this day!). But it took a lot of risks, and I made a lot of accidental enemies and learned a lot of hard lessons. But having visuals to go with the stories I'm writing is like advertisement in its own way. I'm just lucky enough to hyperfixate on this shit like it's my lifeblood. I've always obsessively drawn my favorite characters, ever since I was a wee bab. Long before social media was a factor or the words "content creator" even existed.

And I think that's what it all comes back to. Above all else, do what you do with unbridled joy. If someone else finds joy alongside you, all the better! Even if it's just one person. Take risks, make friends, make enemies, draw that blorbo unapologetically and with wild abandon. Love what you create, even when it's bad. Even when it makes you cringe years later, don't delete it. Even when people try to find every reason to hate what you do and who you are. Don't stop.

Every act of creation is bringing something into the world that didn't exist before you made it. And that alone gives it worth.

Happy New Year!

[artist-bakedbean]

mindless self indulgence </3 shut me up fucking ROCKS but i;ve never been able to get into msi because i've heard some ABHORRENT stuff about their lead singer

i LOVE my chem though. i used to have a massive hyperfixation on them. danger days was my LIFEBLOOD it was ALL i would listen to. and i have the comic book!!! the lore is soooooooooo cool for that album

yeaaaaaa james uringer was- something- but i just gave up when I find out a lot of the things I like have absolute pieces of shit creators so I separate the art from the creator. most of my favorite msi songs arent even on applemusic or spotify like "seven minutes in heaven" and "out of a frying pan into the fire". also you're an emo ass bitch

[larry-pritchard]

Why did you start shipping quickstart? (Long rambling answers only)

Oh boy you want rambles, you’ll get rambles

I watched Saltburn while I was in the process of leaving a toxic, abusive workplace which was really good but also very upsetting. I thought that job would be my career for the rest of my life. I was also taking a big step away from the OFMD fandom, which had been my lifeblood for two years, so I was primed to latch onto a new ship/fandom/hyperfixation.

On first watch, I was intrigued. I needed more of them and was honestly a little disappointed the relationship wasn’t explored canonically more than it was! The sneaky handjob scene whacked something loose in my brain and I HAD to write the missing sex.

It was well received and my imagination was running wild with my initial plans for Salt of the Earth. By the time I posted the first chapter, I found a few folks on Twitter that loved the ship and that first fic! We would share ideas and that kicked off a couple of my first one-shots.

THEN! I realized my fics were being share on tumblr which was so fucking exciting and encouraged me to engage with the fandom there, which also inspired some one-shots (including bound to fall in love which is still one of my favorite things I’ve ever written).

THEEEEEN I found the saltburn bitches server which has helped me keep writing and even expand into other ships :)

But QuickStart will always be my bread and butter. There’s just something about two people that are so toxically similar. Something about how they hate to love each other. I can’t get enough.

Also, Farleigh in particular is just special to me. I have always been the oddball in my family and his desperation to fit in, be loved, is so relatable. Writing him has been empowering as hell.

Rambles rambles love those two evil little queers so much. I hope to write more than I have been, but I also just started You’re Almost Home and it’s consumed me so im trying to be patient with myself and enjoy reading without feeling the compulsion to write.

[witherburn-after-school-news]

Today I was able to pick out the Witherburn After School News Theme on my guitar and it might be close to the proudest I have been of myself (i am too deep into this wonderful podcast and it is quickly approaching hyperfixation time) (this podcast is becoming lifeblood) thank you so much for this amazing podcast :)

Awee thank you! That’s so cool! Also I am very glad you like my podcast. It means so much.

[boypussydilf]

cosmic horror or cursed objects but theyre just metaphors for hyperfixation. i gazed into this thing too hard and saw something unfathomably endless but no one else sees it and trying to explain just makes me sound insane. this object is draining my lifeblood but at the same time it sustains me and how could i possibly get rid of it

[aese-of-spades]

Anyone else's hyperfixations fluid? Like one day, I'll be completely fine without it, and the next, it's my lifeblood

Wtf.

[rayngomango-art]

I drew Mikey and Raph in rings too:3

Leo and Donnie drawings linked

[shmowder]

Twyrin is a bop, it's like the Alone in the Town from Silent Hill 2 of Patho 2. When those sad clown noises kicked in in Haruspex Is All Alone... I really like that one.

My favorites from P2 are Useless Science (Victor + Yulia's houses), Deep Dreaming (Maria + Saburov's (I think?) houses), Childhood Grave (Nutshell), Doctor's Dead, and Mourning of the Gone (I have no idea when these two play), along with most of the Theodor Bastard tracks.

Love love love the contrast between yandere Yulia, Victor, and Aglaya. Your characterization feels right for all of them; they're so distinct from each other but I love em all <3

The meta elements of the game are something I haven't given much thought to and I hope they're explored more in P1! Like I know technically the game is a play - Aglaya, Mark, Tragedians will address you the player, everyone's an actor, but I know there's SO much more to it that I just kinda gloss over.

Finished P2 today!! It was great. I had stacks of leftover eggs. Big Vlad said I have the heart of a dove. I found Clara less annoying this time, hooray. The conversations you have with the kids on Day 10 😭💔 I remember the last few days being emotional but wow. Both of the main endings make me sad, as I'm sure they're supposed to. That being said, Diurnal 4ever. Now, onto the Marble Nest.

Did you know there are lizards carved in to the stair railings of the Broken Heart? It's cute because Peter Stamatin's animal is a monitor lizard :)

I'm not really in the Pathologic fandom either lmao. Just someone who likes x readers who also liked playing P2 and found your blog at the best possible time and now I may have a hyperfixation and I'm genuinely excited to play P1, wonky graphics and all :) I understand where you're coming from with not wanting to get canon, fanon, and your own opinions muddled up ^^

-

Competent reader who already is an established, independent person in the world! Ooh I can see why you're fixated on the sword one... I like the idea of a healer who works with the Dogheads. I'm fond of the cannon one, too. Generally reader who nebulously exists to be loved by [character] is my lifeblood, you know, just a projection of the idealized self or whatever. But when the reader really feels like a fully formed person - well, it might limit the projection possibilities but it allows you to better explore *why* the character is interested in them to begin with. <- Not meant to be negative btw, I'm just getting tired and forgetting how to craft sentences 😅

What you said about noticing your anons' style and reading between the lines to determine what they might like is so genuinely sweet I am just 🥹🥹 I'm so glad you think it's fun! Somehow you managed to read my mind with Mea Columba despite me not even telling you it was my request until you were done already but truly it was like that fic was beaming directly into my soul or something <33

Don't worry, I don't feel pressured ^^ Thank you, though, and same to you of course! I don't want you to feel pressured, either. I can see this becoming an endless circle of not wanting each other to feel pressured 😂

🐿️ anon

Oh useless science is absolutely amazing! I like pathologic's tendency to subtly poke fun at its own characters in the soundtrack or environment design. It's both cruel and so delicious.

I'm happy you enjoyed the Yandere HC! I tried to give each of them their distinct vibes. Yes they are characters who have a lot in common and call be grouped under the umbrella term of "seemingly cold and smart" but they are still so different.

Each of them holds contrasting principles, value different traits and views life and other people through contradicting lenses.

Aglaya searches for the meaning of life in every nook and cranny, takes all possible answers into consideration no matter how small.

Victor is part of something bigger than himself, bigger than humanity even and thinks the meaning of life should be shaped and scouplted.

While Yulia views it as more of a string of fate situations, life is simply a long series of coincidents. Reality branching with every decision you make and this thing called free-will is simply your mind coping with living in a reality out of your own control.

-

I'm lucky to have had someone like you stumble into my blog <3 You really do make the game more fun for me and I got to explore so many different sides and scenarios because of you. I enjoy these talks and hearing about your thoughts.

Woo congrats on finishing P2! Eggs are really the miracle of life aren't they? forget the polyhedron, it is the eggs which solved the famine! And omfg big vlad comment is kinda 👀 that man is really a romantic at heart isn't he.

And yes I do hope you'll enjoy P1! Once the wonky graphics become the new norm, you'll get as attached to them as P2 characters- God P1 Aspity makes me want to steal her out of the game and keep her safe in my pocket for eternity.

-

I didn't actually know about the lizards but once you mentioned it, I started seeing them everywhere! This is the bar stairs railing picture you attached:

But you also can notice a lizard in Andrey's concept art too! on the fan he's carrying around.

Andrey's symbolic animal is the shark so the lizard here is definitely meant just for Peter. You don't even find the lizard in Peter's own concept art, showing his loss of identity maybe? Or how Andrey's keeping his memory alive.

It is a little sad, how much more important Peter is to Andrey than the other way around. One will always care for the other more.

A lizard and a shark, how uniquely beautiful.

Talking about siblings, Capella has the butterfly while Vlad the younger has the bear. Maria has the cobra while Khan has the hedgehog.

-

Yeah, the more specific a reader gets, the less inclusive they become. However, sometimes that makes them even more popular amongst reader in a surprising turn.

Maybe because it builds a story better? Like they are still a blank state in some areas but giving them one gimmick makes them stand out and pull in people who wanted to see that gimmick explored.

Think of how much of an interesting dynamic a Doctor Reader would be with Daniil or an army general reader with Aglaya.

A kin reader with the Rubin or a bartender with Andrey. What if we just throw Daniil out the window and make the bachelor role a reader insert then have it be Reader x Victor or Reader x Artemy?

The detailed ideas I previously described started as simple concepts too, one gimmick, one trait and a blank state reader. Then I filled in the blanks the more I thought about it because it was fantasy for the sake of fantasy at the time.

If I ever turn them into legit readers I'd clean them up and remove some parts. Simplify their concepts as much as possible so there is room for other people to add in their own detials.

The dogheads reader started bc I wanted a character that carries a cool sword around and thought "hey khan likes sword maybe he will let them into the polyhedron" Then it spiraled into a noble knight reader who tries to remain chivalrous but prefers the past to the future unlike the utopians.

The herbbride x reader was because I wanted to smooch a herb bride pls let pls :"(((

A plague doctor reader who is actually equipped to deal with plagues and has the cool bird mask and everything rather than having Daniil improvise.

Detective reader is a favourite, they're more of a noir Detective and a drunk loser? Think Harry from Disco elysium but a younger version who is still more put together and eager to solve crime.

-

I'm happy you liked Mea Columba <33 I enjoyed writing it and exploring that side of Victor.

[snicker-snacc]

I’m starting a new thread due to the length of the last one, but thank you for tagging me @fromtheoatfield!! Seeing this when I woke up was like injecting pure serotonin in my brain <3 

anyway here’s the rest of the thread i got tagged in, jic anyone is nosy

https://at.tumblr.com/fromtheoatfield/oh-and-this-hi-thank-you-for-tagging-me-i/6a059b0k5w9n

1. Three ships: oh god oh no I’m about to out my last like 3 hyperfixations in one go because I have a habit of discarding the fandom but keeping my favorite ships in my heart. ANYWAY we have:

Royai (Roy x Riza) from Fullmetal Alchemist

Klance (Keith x Lance) from Voltron: Legendary Defender 

Davekat (Dave x Karkat) from Homestuck (please don’t crucify me on the spot, they’re just too cute I can’t help it)

2. First ship ever: heuuuuughhdsfksd it was probably from warriors, so probably Sandstorm and Firestar because I’ve just had a soft spot for enemies to lovers for my entire life ig

3. Currently listening to: I’m just gonna throw out the songs that have the heaviest rotation for me rn: 

Raise the Dead by Insane3lik3 & Colordrive 

Kill the Noise by Me Not You

Shockwave by Marshmello

Separate Ways (cover) by Daughtry & Lzzy Hale 

Love From the Other Side (Fall Out Boy) 

(hey fromtheoatfield, wanna make a note real quick that IDKHBTFM is a dope band and I appreciate that you also like them)

4. Last move watched: Guys I don’t watch movies. Not because I hate them but because I never get around to it. I think the last one I saw was Wakanda Forever in theaters with some friends. 

5. Currently reading: HAHAHAH my list of paused books is a mile long lmaoooo but I have to read “Emily Wilde’s Encyclopedia of Faeries” as a bookclub book with my coworkers and I’m reading “How to Murder Your Employer” in the breakroom, which comes out in February I believe! 

6. Currently watching: I am SLOWLY, at the speed of molasses, getting through Made In Abyss Season 2, Jojo Part 4 and the og Trigun, all of which are fantastic and I wish I had more time to watch

7. Currently consuming: My morning coffee <3 the lifeblood of my life and my reason for existing 

8. Currently Craving: I just got ramen last night so I’m only craving the usual --  pasta, breakfast potatoes, and mac n cheese. 

Thank you again for the tag!! <3 I’m tagging @howwnowbrowncoww @the-new-universe-change @lessrthanthree @thegoatsba (if you’re still online lmao) @raekuu and anyone else who wants to who’s tag I might be forgetting. Go nuts! 

[sabetha]

20 Questions for Writers

tagged by @fandomscraziness22 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

80 - well on my way to 100

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

299,441 which is actually SO infuriating

3. What fandoms do you write for?

whatever I happen to be hyperfixated on at the time....right now it's Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous/Chaos Theory, but Lockwood & Co. and The Raven Cycle round out the top 3, followed by Six of Crows and some miscellaneous podcasts

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

do you know i love your tattoo (and you) (l&co)

She's Just a Friend (ML)

just keep your eyes on me (l&co)

Take It From Me (soc)

See Yourself Out (soc)

This list is actually so wild to me wtf

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes it takes me a while, but yes! I try to respond to every comment I get, with varying levels of success

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

this has to be a trick question, right? p much everything I write is angst oops. although to be fair, I do usually try for a happy ending. so the angstiest ending....

based on canon: you were the story i chose for myself (the dreamer trilogy) OR what do you know, this house is falling apart (l&co)

canon divergent: slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace (l&co)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

why is this so hard?? I don't know if these are the happiest, but I'm partial to The Great Gansey (trc), Dream Me the World (trc), and The Plan (ML)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think I've ever gotten any really negative comments on my fics which is great because I would cry

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

not typically? my Dark AU for L&Co features some smut (PLEASE READ THE TAGS IF YOU'RE GONNA READ THIS FIC) yesterday we were just children

10. Do you write crossovers?

nope, i'm not inherently opposed to the idea, but a lot of times they just don't feel natural to me

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Oof I hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so? I've had at least one person ask, but I don't know if it ever happened

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I was working on a ML fic with a friend once! we unfortunately did not finish that, but it was a fun experience

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

..... you can't ask me to pick between my children like this

But Ronsey (trc)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Learn to Like The Taste. (soc) - it's started, it's vaguely outlined, it's partially drafted, some of it is posted.... I would love nothing more than to finish this story but its been years and head empty no thoughts

16. What are your writing strengths?

emotional angstttttt, it's basically my lifeblood at this point. I've also been told I'm good at mirroring the writing of the source material? so that, I guess. I'm pretty proud of the phrases I come up with when I put my mind to it

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue?? action?? don't know her

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i've got some latin in my fics for trc, and te admo adhuc (the college tapes) is a title in a different language, so I'm deciding that counts

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Miraculous Ladybug

20. Favorite fic you've written?

this is a really mean question, actually, so now you get to suffer through me making another list

As Good As Later Gets (Wolf 359)

Something New For Every Night (trc)

trapped in yesterday (l&co)

things we have to do that we can't stand (trc)

slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace (l&co)

tagging anyone else who wants to do it, if you're seeing this, yes you!

[biohazard-inevitable]

Finally made it to Wano!!!!!!! And by god I am blazing through this too fast I was at episode 97 in december I have been LIVING in the world of one piece for the past few months it feels like its been 2 years with the strawhats but its just been 3-4 months my god-

I hadnt expected to make it to Wano until maybe may, but then I binged the entirety of Whole Cake in like- a week or two? And now we’re here after i finished up reverie recap shenanigans.

I’m trying to put a pause on the binge because i CANT lose this hyperfixation yet i iust CANT do that to myself but its so hard to NOT watch it like thats my LIFEBLOOD right there.

But, theres a new update to stardew valley and some games on my ds i want to play, as well as One Piece Oddessy, so im coming to a halt with only the beginning tow in wano at episode 892, theres a new intro i have yet to seeand a new art style and just everything, but wano will wait for me. At nearly 200 episodes long, i’ll gladly have plenty to binge.

But for now, a breather because good god am I too beefy of a binger