#I still have energy though and it’s 9pm

[fernspirals]

At least today was productive

[thewritingrowlet]

The Grand Prize, ft. tripleS Yoon Seoyeon

tags: male reader, first time anal, creampie, anal creampie, raw

word count: 8k+, almost 9k

author's note: the smut in this story is split into two parts with some basketball plot in between. Hope you like it! :D

p.s. I slipped an inside joke made with @praeluxius' username, so prael if you see this <3

It is December, you’ve been dating Seoyeon for over 3 months now; it has been a very fun and healthy relationship even though you have been spending less time with her despite living together as your schedules don’t really match hers; you’ve been busy with the basketball team as its captain and year 3 classes while Seoyeon has found a new busyness with the student council— “I want to continue my student council career, oppa”, she had told you after the Freshers’ Week. Not many know about your relationship, apart from your teammates and some friends of hers, as you both have agreed to keep things to yourselves. Your teammates were surprised that you have a girlfriend considering how long you’d been single, while Seoyeon’s friends thought that it was crazy that she managed to steal the basketball team’s captain’s heart and started dating him so soon. Honestly, you still can’t believe the way life has been turning out recently, but you’re ecstatic to see what else might turn up for you and Seoyeon.

[🐶❤️| 17:08]

Oppa, I’m going home after this meeting

What about you?

Have you eaten btw? I can bring some sandwich if you want

She texts you as you’re getting ready for warmup. Might as well reply now since you won’t have the chance to for the next few hours, not forgetting to apologize since you’re probably coming home late.

[🏀| 17:09]

I have practice, luv, will come home late

No need to wait if you want to sleep first

I had some noodles earlier, should be enough

Seoyeon hates you for not eating enough, so you make sure to not skip meals especially on the days when you have practice. She’s even brought you some food to eat before practicing before, which was how your teammates found out you had a girlfriend. She also made you eat in front of her, refusing to leave before you finish the food and return the box to her to bring home. You’re thankful for her attention and god-tier cooking but this habit of yours is really hard to rid, “baby, I love your food but I’m just not hungry at the moment”, you’ve told her once, to which she responded by pouting and looking rejected.

[🐶❤️| 17:09]

Okay, oppa

See you at home

Don’t get hurt

Luv u much

Her texts, no matter how simple, always give you a boost of energy and motivation, and with that, you’re taking on practice with excitement.

It is now a few minutes to 9pm and your team is wrapping up tonight’s practice. You’ve been practicing seemingly tirelessly for a few hours and your limbs are on fire thanks to the different drills your team has been doing. Coach Park has been increasing the frequency and intensity of the practices as the university is aiming for a top 3 finish under your captaincy in the upcoming national tournament; “we believe that you can lead us deep into the playoffs, captain”, the dean told you on Monday before practice, putting expectant pressure on your shoulders. You don’t have to worry about motivating your teammates since everyone knows how prestigious this tournament is but as the captain, you’re the one with the heaviest burden; everyone (including your beloved Seoyeon) will be counting on you throughout the tournament. You promise Coach Park, your team, and yourself that you’re going to give this run everything you have: “it’s ours, guys, believe that”, you tell them as the closing words for tonight’s practice.

You call an Uber after showering because you don’t feel like walking to your apartment after that exhausting practice. A few minutes of Uber ride later, you’re now at the front door of your apartment. As you’re entering the password, you hear footsteps from the inside, most likely Seoyeon’s as she’s running to greet you at the door.

“Oppa, you’re home! Welcome home!”, she says, the excitement obvious in her voice. “Yes, baby, I’m home. Sorry for coming home so late”, you say as you hug her and kiss her head. She presses her face on your shoulder, hugging you tight, “I know you’ve been working hard for the team and I’m proud of you, oppa, but I also miss you so much. Can we have a date soon? Maybe in the next few days? I-I hope th-that’s not too selfish of me”. Your heart sinks at the realization: you’ve been so busy with class and basketball that you’ve forgotten to make time for your lovely girlfriend. “I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t have classes or practice tomorrow; what do you say we have a little date at home? I can try and cook for us”, you say to her, hoping for a chance to make it up to her. She then looks up to look at you, her eyes hopeful that you’ll come through with your promise. “Okay, oppa. I’ll get home as soon as I can tomorrow. I’m curious what you’ll cook for me”, and with that, your date is set; you’re going to create your parents-approved spicy honey grilled chicken and fried rice for her and (hopefully) blow her mind with it.

-

A new day has arrived, the morning sun is beaming at you through your windows, but your sunshine is still in dreamland; “Seoyeon, baby, wake up. You have classes, don’t you?”, you say softly to wake her up. “Ngh what time is it?”, she says while gathering her soul after her deep slumber. “It’s almost 8, baby. I’ll run the shower for you so sit still for a bit, okay?”, you peck her lips as you get off the bed to prepare the shower for her. When you return from the bathroom, you see her peeking at you from under the covers, “any spoilers for today, oppa?”, she asks you, the covers muffling her voice a bit. “Of course, sweetie, it’ll be sweet and spicy”, you tell her as you get into bed to kiss her; you’d like to think that a kiss in the morning is like kick-starting a person, and that’s definitely the case for Seoyeon. After showering, Seoyeon leaves for campus half-running to avoid being late; “see you later, oppa. Love you”, she says, before giving you a peck and running out the door.

-

The clock now shows 15 minutes to 3pm, you have just over 2 hours to prepare the dishes. You start by taking the chicken out of the fridge and making the sauce mix for the grilled chicken. After glazing it for the first time, you throw it on the grill and let it cook, brushing more sauce as it goes so that the flavors can really seep into the chicken. Once they’re done cooking, you put them to the side to free up the space to make fried rice. For the fried rice, you start by tossing in some of your mom’s pre-made seasoning base into the flaming hot wok. Once that’s nice and fragrant, you throw in some diced chicken and let it get cooked before you mix in some well-beaten eggs. You then add in some salt, sugar, MSG (is it really fried rice without MSG?), sweet soy sauce, and hot sauce to give the fried rice its flavors. With about 20 minutes to spare before Seoyeon gets home, you’re finally finished and decide to take a shower first.

-

“Oppa, I’m home—what is this smell? It smells crazy good!”, she says as she enters the apartment, heading straight to the dining table. “Welcome home, baby, how was your day? I made you some spicy honey grilled chicken and fried rice—all using the recipes my parents approve of”, you welcome her into a hug and peck her forehead. “My day has been great, oppa, and it’s only getting better. Thanks for the meal!”, she says, getting a chicken thigh and some fried rice. You take a seat at the table and dig in together, “you like it, love?”, “this is soooo goooood, oppa. Didn’t know you were this good at cooking, what happened?”, she says with a full mouth. “I’d like to think I’m decent at cooking. I came up with this grilled chicken recipe when I was in high school, I’m glad that you like it”. It is one of those moments where the food is so good, you can’t help but enjoy it in silence because you’re just blown away by the taste, so the both of you just shut up and keep eating until the end of the meal.

-

You two get ready for sleep after cleaning everything up. You see her put on one of your T-shirts and a pair of shorts— “guess I’m not getting lucky tonight”, you think to yourself. As if hearing your thoughts, she notifies you, “I’m on my period today, oppa. I’m sorry”. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, sweetie. I would be more concerned if weren’t having your periods”, you assure her as you pull her into the bed. “But-but I should reward you for the meal”, she says as she palms your crotch, making you hard instantly. “Baby, please, when did it become an effort-reward relationship, hm? There’s nothing I’m asking you to do other than to cuddle and sleep next to me. That’s not too selfish of me, is it?”, you say to her while pulling her into a hug even though your cock is rock hard and ready for some action. “You’re always so sweet, oppa. Thank you for being so kind to me all the time. Will you be okay, though?”, “you deserve the best of me all the time, sweetie, and yes I’ll be okay”.

-

The rest of the month went by rapidly for you. Your team has been spanking your opponents left and right, breezing past round of 32, round of 16, and quarterfinal before anyone realized what had happened. “Alright, men. I know we’ve been dominating our opponents so far, but it’s only getting harder from this point onwards. We need to be in the right mindset and condition for it”, Coach Park said in the locker room after the quarterfinal. “Since the semifinal is on Saturday, I’ll see you all on Thursday for practice and we’ll rest on Friday. We’re going to practice some designed and after-timeout plays”, the coach continued.

The coach came through with his words: your team has been spending the last 2,5 hours running various plays designed for different players, including yourself. Coach Lee, one of the assistant coaches, has personally put together a handful of mid- and long-range scoring plays to create as many opportunities as possible for you. You’re worried that maybe the upcoming opponent has picked up all the tendencies that your team has—such as going through you heavily to score—but you can only hope that things will work as planned.

-

-

Saturday morning, it is. You wake up at around the usual time, while Seoyeon is still sound asleep. You didn’t do anything much last night since you were absolutely drained from Thursday’s practice. You look at the sleeping beauty: she seems to be in peace at the moment, sleeping oh-so-cutely on her side of the bed while being covered with a blanket up to her neck. After giving her a peck on the forehead, you get off the bed and head to the bathroom to take a shower. Your team don’t need to travel too much today since the stadium for semifinal and final is only 15 minutes away from campus, so you’re not running as tight on schedule as for the previous games.

When you get out of the shower, Seoyeon is already awake. She’s leaning against the headboard while scrolling mindlessly through her phone. “Mmh? Good morning, oppa”, she says when she sees you, arms reaching out for a hug. “Good morning, baby. Are you going to watch the game today?”, you ask her while hugging her and showering her with pecks. “I am, oppa. I’ll be sitting pretty close to the court, so look at me every now and then, okay? Good luck, captain. I love you”, she says to you as she pulls out of the hug.

-

Here you are, just under 3 minutes, says the countdown timer on that big ass TV in front of you, before the semifinal starts. You can hear the crowd’s excitement from deep in the tunnel, ready to support their favorite teams in the upcoming game. You take a deep breath to calm yourself and focus up. Turn to your team, time to fire them up: “let’s go, boys; we’re so close now. Let’s win this, alright? Win on 3—1, 2, 3!”.

After firing them up, a match committee personnel gives you a flag in the university color with the logo in the center of it, “this is new”, you think. As you take the flag from him, the arena announcer is yelling the team names and gets replied with loud noises from the crowd. Before you walk out, you make sure you look as cool as possible by leaning the flagpole against your right shoulder and putting on a cold face. Once the guy gives you the signal to go in, your team and the other start walking out to the court.

You stand in the center of the 5 starters of your team, right under the rim. Before the ceremony ends, you want to look for Seoyeon so you can find her easier during the game, “you see my girlfriend, bro?”, you whisper to your teammate next to you. “Hmm let’s see—oh, behind the other team’s bench, I think. Is that her?”, he points to show you, so you look closely at the area he’s pointing at; and there she is, wearing one of your old jerseys that she probably found in the wardrobe. You give her a little out-of-character wink to acknowledge her presence and she winks back so cutely, making your heart rate jump.

After the first quarter of the game, it becomes obvious that the opposing team is more organized in terms of defending and adjusting to your team’s offense. You’ve been decent, though, putting up 9 points of your team’s 22 through the first quarter. Coach Lee tells you that you shouldn’t be too fazed by their defense since they’re going to get more lenient as the game goes on due to exhaustion from defending so intensely.

Another 10 minutes of playing have finished and now you’re in the locker room to have more conversations on how to adjust to the current state of the game. True enough, they’ve gotten more laid back with their defense, letting you take 4 shots, which you made 3 of, from the 3-pt area. However, they’ve also gotten hotter with their shot making, trailing by fewer than 8 points the whole quarter. The plan for Q3, Coach Park says, is for you to be more active on defense, especially around the perimeter, and play a more relaxed role on offense since you’ve got a bunch of points in the bag already.

After exchanging some motivations and talking to some people, it’s time to head into the locker room. Before you do, though, you look at Seoyeon who’s smiling and clapping her hands. She gives you a seductive wink and a lip bite while putting a hand over her crotch, mouthing “I’m yours tonight” to you. You can’t afford to get a boner right now, so you look away as soon as she’s done signaling to you and head into the locker room to celebrate the win and talk to the coaches.

Since you’re starting Q3 from the bench, you have some time to catch up with Seoyeon who’s now on your side of the court. You look up to say hi and get some motivation from her. “Oppa, you’re so good! They’ve let you score so many times this game, oppa!”, she says, the excitement and fascination flowing out of her lips freely with every word said. “I’m just following the plan the coaches have set up, love. I’ll be playing less intensely on offense, though. I’ll show you what defense is”, you tell her, your confidence through the roof.

With less than 4 minutes left in the quarter, Coach Park subs you into the game— “great job, man”, you tell your teammate as he’s coming to the sideline, “shut these guys down, man”, your teammate says before grabbing a towel and sitting down. So, you do just that; you chase your assignments around the court on man-to-man defense, diligently switching back and forth with your teammates to prevent unfavorable matchups. Before you know it, the buzzer sounds, indicating the end of the 3rd quarter.

It is now the 4th quarter, the last 10 minutes of playing to secure a top 2 finish. Your team has an okay-ish lead of 10 entering the last quarter. The plan is to widen the gap by shutting down the opponent on defense while looking for easy scores on the other end, taking advantage of the fact that they’re tired despite being tired yourselves.

You try your best to not look at Seoyeon this quarter so that her cheering doesn’t distract you from doing your job in the dying embers of the game. Your plan doesn’t last too long, though, as you scream in her general direction after forcing a turnover. You see her jumping up and down as she cheers for you, looking as fired up as you are about the defensive play. With this comfortable lead, it’s only a matter of time until the game ends and you’re sent to the final stage, fighting for fame and glory one last time this year.

True enough, the final buzzer sounds loudly, and with it, the crowd’s emotions are divided: those who root for your team are screaming in joy, while the others are on their knees following the loss. “Hey, man. You did well. I’m sorry that it had to end like this. Let’s get on our feet, eh?”, you say to an opponent, pulling him up to his feet and hugging him—the feeling of losing while being so close to the goal is all too familiar to you.

-

You arrive at your apartment after taking a shower and chatting with a bunch of people about preparing for the final game. As you enter the bedroom, you see Seoyeon sitting on the edge of the bed, her body wrapped in a bath robe, “hi, oppa, welcome home. Did you catch what I said before you head into the tunnel?”, she asks, her hands getting ready to take the robe off. “I think I did”, you say before whispering in her ear, “you said you’re mine tonight, didn’t you?”, your deep voice sending shivers down her spine. “That is correct, oppa, so—", she says as she takes off the robe and kneels in front of you, “—do what you wish to me”, she adds, her mouth open and ready to take your shaft. You immediately drop everything you’re carrying on the floor along with your sweatpants and boxers and plunge deep into the warmth that is her mouth. She gags loudly and closes her eyes as she feels your tip hit the back of her throat. You lift her chin to look into her eyes; they tell you that she is so deep in the sea of lust, she might as well start drowning. You start thrusting in and out of her mouth, forcing her to take you deep into her mouth and making her gag every time. You want to turn it up a notch, though, “I want to try something else”, you say to her as you lie her on the bed, her head hanging off the edge, “You know where this is going, baby. Open”, you tell her before thrusting into her from a different position. You can’t help but let out groans and deep moans as you stuff her throat with your cock while playing with her tits. One last time before pulling out, you stick your cock deep in her throat and hold it there for a few seconds, making a mess of Seoyeon’s face as spit gets all over her face. Soon, you feel Seoyeon smack your thigh repeatedly, hoping that you’ll pull out and let her breathe. So you do just that, and she immediately gasps for air, “oh shit, oppa. I thought you were going to knock me out with your cock, fuck”, she says. “No, but I’ll be rough tonight. You know the safe word; say it if you want to stop”, you say, notifying her of your intent.

Feeling like you’re about to cross the line, you let go of her neck and pull out so that you two can catch some breaths. You see your hand leave a red mark on her neck, as she breathes with her mouth to get as much air into her lungs as possible. “Baby, you okay? That was too rough, right? I’m sorry”, you say, your mind no longer possessed by your cock. “Hah, hah—I’m-I’m fine—fuck. You were so rough, oppa. Didn’t know you had it in you like that”, she says, her eyes glassy from unreleased tears. “Do you want to stop, baby? Say the safe word, maybe?”, you ask to make sure that you still have her consent. “No, o-one more time. I’m so close, take me across the line, oppa”, she says, while grabbing her legs and folding it like earlier. “Let go of your legs, baby. You must be tired”, you say, while going in for a kiss. When you pull away, you see her put on a loving smile, “yes, baby?”, you ask her, not quite catching her signal. “I love you, oppa, so damn much. Now— “, she says while rolling onto her stomach, “—take me again, like this. You can be rough again if you want to”. “Okay, baby. Don’t forget that you can say the safe word”, you say, as you ride her thighs to fuck her from behind.

You tell her to move up in the bed, “you want me to wear a condom or no?”, you ask Seoyeon, who now has her head on the pillow while lying on her back. “Oppa isn’t talking as sweetly and softly as usual, I hope it means that he’s enjoying this”, she thinks to herself, “umm, yes, please”, she replies. You’re never one to do something to a girl without her consent, so you put on a condom before climbing into bed with her. You then get between her legs and fold them over her torso, “hold your legs for me”, you say sternly while aiming your length at her entrance. Unsurprisingly, she obeys right away. She holds her legs over her body by wrapping her forearms under her knees. Just as you’re about to push in, she fuels your fire, “give it to me, oppa, make me take it”.

After being shown the green light, you push your cock into her tight hole, making her scream instantly. “Yes, yes, yes, fuck me, oppa”, she eggs you on. You put a hand on her neck and start squeezing it, and you feel her pussy get tighter around your cock, “oh, you like this, you slut? Fuck, so tight”, you say, attempting some dirty talk while thrusting roughly; you hope she doesn’t mind being called that out of nowhere. “Fu—oppa, please, ughhh”, she tries to say with the last bit of air in her chest, as a tear starts running down her face and her hands try to loosen your grip on her neck.

You plunge deep into her instantly, making her scream into the pillow. You like this angle as it makes Seoyeon feel tighter for you; “fuck, baby, you’re tighter like this”, you say with a deep groan. “Oh, oh, yes, I’m always tight for you, oppa”, she replies, her voice muffled by the pillow, moaning with every thrust you’re giving her.

As you’re thrusting deep and fast, you see Seoyeon’s forbidden hole every now and then, peeking at you from behind her cheeks. You want to stimulate her more to get her closer to her orgasm, so you take your thumb and rub her small hole with it, making her gasp in surprise and turn her head to look at you. “Oppa, please, not there—please, please, please”, she says, panicking at the thought that you’re going to put something in her ass. You respond by grabbing a handful of her hair and pulling it, making her arch her back, “you’re mine, aren’t you? Have you forgot, you little slut? You’re entirely mine”, you whisper aggresively in her ear, getting rougher with your thrusts. “I—fuck, fuck, fuck—I’m cumming!”, she exclaims with a loud scream—you’re lowkey worried that a neighbor might call the cops on you considering how loud she’s screaming.

“Cum, you slut, cum all over this cock”, you reply to her, not letting up the thrusts. You finally pull out when you feel her juice pushing you out, her legs shaking due to the hard orgasm. “Good job, baby. I’ll get some water then it’s time to chase mine, okay?”, you tell her while petting the back of the panting girl softly before leaving to get some water.

When you return with some water for the both of you, you see Seoyeon still laying on her stomach while looking at you, seemingly sad about something; “oppa, you weren’t really trying to get in that hole, were you?”, she asks, referring to your stimulation on her asshole, “i-is my pussy not good enough, oppa? Bu-but you were my first—ah, I’m so sorry, oppa. I-I’ll do better next time”, she continues, tears gathering in her eyes.

Your heart shatters at her words; you only meant it as a stimulation to get her closer to her orgasm, not to point out that something’s lacking—"tell her otherwise, now”, your heart screams at you. “Oh, love, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that—I was just trying to get you to your orgasm quicker. It is true that I was your first, and I’m forever honored and grateful for that. You’ve been the best girlfriend for me, so there’s no need to worry about being lacking, baby”, you tell her before pulling her into a hug and carrying her to the bathroom.

“Let’s get cleaned up, alright? I think we’ve had enough tonight”. “Bu-but you haven’t cum yet, oppa. Plea-please let me down, let-let me finish the job”, she says to you half begging. “It’s fine, baby, I’ll manage. Let me take care of you, okay? I went so rough on you, I’m sorry”, you say to her as you open the bathroom door. “Can you stand up on your own, sweetie? Do you need a stool?”, you ask her before putting her down. “A stool, please, oppa. My legs are like jelly right now”, she replies to you, drawing a prideful smile on your face.

Now that the shower has finished, you give her one of your jerseys to wear to sleep—the length enough to cover your little girlfriend down to her thighs—before putting her down on the bed. You wrap her in your arms while she tucks her head on your neck; “oppa”, she begins, “congrats on making it to the final”, she says. Surprised to hear her bring it up out of nowhere, you let out a chuckle, “it’s all thanks to you, sweetie; thank you for cheering me on, baby”, you reply. You can’t see her face, but you know she’s blushing right now. “Promise me that you’ll win, oppa. I, uh, may or may not have a present prepared for you—but only if you win”, she continues. “Present, hey? I like the sound of that. I’ll try my hardest, baby”, you say, feeling motivated by the promise of getting a present.

After setting the stool down and making her sit on it, you turn on the shower and start cleaning her up. You start by rubbing her nape and back with some soap before lifting her butt up so you can clean her cheeks. You then rinse the soap off her back and move in front of her to continue.

When you get in front of her, you kneel and put a hand on her knee, “How are we feeling, sweetie?”, you ask her to gauge her emotions. She looks down at herself before looking at you, “oppa, you love me, right? You won’t leave me just because I didn’t let you in my ass, right? Please tell me you love me. Please, oppa”, she asks, her voice trembling from sadness. She needs assurance and comfort right now, and you’re ready to give her whatever she needs to make her feel better.

“I love you, baby. Please believe me when I say that I’m not going to force you into anal until you’re ready, whenever that may be. Even if you end up never feeling ready for it, I’ll still love you with all my life; there’s no doubt in my mind about it”, you tell her with all the sincerity you can muster. “Please don’t feel burdened by any of it, baby. I won’t leave you, no matter what happens tonight”, you tell her while hugging her tightly, your promise true and sincere as ever. When you finally pull away, you see a small smile drawn on her face, “feeling better, love? Let’s finish this and then go to sleep, okay?”, to which she nods enthusiastically, straightening her back to give you access to clean her front.

-

It’s been a few days since the semifinal and that night where Seoyeon tried being a subby baby for you—she chickened out when you teased her asshole, though, blue-balling you in the end. The grand final is right around the corner and you’ve spent the last few of days preparing for the last dance. You’re nervous out of your mind at the prospect of playing in the grand final, unconsciously speaking less day in and day out. Seoyeon notices this and tries to help you ease your mind as much as she can, being the angel of a girlfriend that she is, even when you forget to thank her—basketball is taking the entire space in your head right now.

After going through the past 2 days mindlessly, it’s now Saturday morning again, 12 hours before the final game of the season. You woke up not-too-smoothly, letting out a panic gasp as you felt your soul get shoved back into your body. You panic even more when you can’t find Seoyeon in bed, so you immediately jump off the bed and run out of the bedroom.

After doing so, you hear sizzling coming from the kitchen. “Is that Seoyeon?”, you think to yourself. When you go to the kitchen to investigate, you see Seoyeon in front of the stove, busy doing something. “Good morning, oppa! I’m making some steamed eggs for breakfast”, she says cheerfully when she sees you. Relief fills your head right away, so you hug her from behind without saying anything and rest your forehead on her head, “I panicked when I couldn’t find you in bed”, you mumble into the back of her head. “Sorry, oppa. Just wanted to make you some breakfast to cheer you up before tonight”, she says to you. You keep hugging her until she notifies you that she’s done cooking and asking you to sit at the table.

“My mom taught me how to make this, oppa. Hope you like it”, she says wishfully. You’re so captivated by the steaming pot of steamed eggs in front of you that you almost forget to thank the person behind it. “Ah, almost forgot—thank you, baby. You’ve been so kind to me these past few days—months, really. I’ll take you on a date after this is all done, okay?”, you say to her. Seoyeon can’t help but blush at your words, “oh-oh, I was just trying to help you, oppa. You-you’ve also been so kind to me”, she says before covering her face with her hands—you find it adorable that she still gets shy with you despite having been dating for a few months.

“Thank you for the meal!”, you exclaim excitedly before sticking a spoon into the pot. You let out a satisfied groan after the first spoonful; it is so soft and well-seasoned, absolutely astonishing. “This is amazing, baby. Thank you so much”. “I’m glad you like it, oppa. I was so nervous if I made it wrong”, she replies.

-

After finishing the meal, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom while Seoyeon washes the dishes. You then open the wardrobe to get some clothes and the jersey for tonight. As you dig through your part of the wardrobe, you find a piece of paper folded in half lying on top of your jersey. With a curious mind, you open it; “Oppa, this is Seoyeon—obviously”, the first line says, “I know you’ve been stressed out about the grand final, but I want to remind you that you’ll always be my number one regardless of the result tonight. Love you always, captain. Signed, your Seoyeon”, the rest of the letter says, her signature drawn on the bottom.

As you finish reading it, you see Seoyeon enter the bedroom, “oh you found it already, guess I didn’t hide it well enough”, she says while smirking, pointing to the piece of paper on your hand. You can’t believe how lucky you are to be in love with such a sweet girl, so you can’t help but fall on your knees wordlessly. Surprised by the sight in front of her, Seoyeon rushes to you, “oppa, are you okay? Are you sick?”, she asks in panic, hugging you and putting a palm on your forehead. “Seoyeon, I.. I love you so much. Thank you for everything”, you say while looking deeply into her eyes. Seoyeon hugs you tightly after hearing your words, “no, thank you. I love you so much too. Go win this for me, okay? Fighting, captain”, she says to you.

-

It's only a few minutes before the grand final starts. You find yourself in the darkness of the tunnel again. “You’ll always be my number one”, Seoyeon’s words are repeating endlessly in your head. Your thoughts are cut short when you see the same guy and the flag from before make another appearance; “for you, captain”, the guy says. You grab the flag from him and put it against your shoulder like before.

Unlike last time, though, everyone’s wearing a jacket now. Everyone wears it normally while you wear yours like a cape, making the name of the university clear for everyone to see. The guy gives you the signal to enter and start the pre-match pleasantries which you’re not paying attention to, your mind locked in for the game itself—you do hear the crowd cheer when the announcer says your name, though, so that’s nice.

The first half was hard; your team were trading points and exchanging leads back and forth with the opponents. During the break, Coach Park was putting more emphasis on steadying the game and scoring consistently in the second half while being tight on defense. Before heading back out, Coach Lee pulls you to the side; “we need you to score from deep, son. They’ve been covering you loosely this game, you must take advantage of that”, he tells you, to which you reply by nodding your head in acknowledgment.

True enough, they’re allowing you to have more space on the floor as you’re able to have uninterrupted looks to shoot every few possessions. As instructed by Coach Lee, you take advantage of it as much as you can, making 4 out of 5 shots from long range. Your team is now leading by 8, the largest in the game so far. Feeling uncomfortable, the opponent’s coach calls a timeout, sending both teams to the bench to talk. After the timeout, Coach Park decides to sit you on the bench for the rest of the quarter, giving you some time to catch up with your girl, who’s sitting in the same seat as last time. “Oppa, what are we thinking?”, she asks you. “We’re trying to keep this lead, baby. Pray for us, okay?”, you say to her, making it as simple as possible for her to understand.

3rd quarter ends with your team leading by 4; not big enough a lead to be comfortable, but you’ll have to make do with what you have. “10 more minutes, guys, come on”, you tell your teammates during the huddle, “let’s win this shit”, you add at the end. The approach now is to be intense on defense, forcing hard matchups and turnovers to turn into easy fastbreaks on the other end of the court. You’ve been taking a few elbows to your body throughout the game, hurting you little by little; “that’s basketball for you, just man up”, your brain says.

After forcing another turnover and turning it into an easy bucket, the opponent calls their last timeout with 1 minute left in the game. Coach Lee takes the floor this time, “we’re almost there, boys. Hang on for 1 minute and you’ll win it. Let’s go”, he says, before explaining some defensive schemes for the last minute of the game. The huddles break when the horn sounds, notifying both teams to get back on the floor with 1 minute left.

The opponents have the ball coming from the timeout. The guard is bringing the ball up the court while making a horn sign with his fingers. Everyone knows what to do, so each of you gets ready to react to the play. Unfortunately, despite having prepared to defend such play, they still manage to score 2 points off an offensive rebound following a miss, cutting the lead down to 2. After getting the inbound, you start bringing the ball to the other side with less than seconds left on the clock, calling for the circle play as an attempt to put this game to bed by scoring from deep in crunch time. You pass the ball to a teammate before cutting inside and circling outside the 3-pt line again—hence the “circle”—while another teammate sets a screen for you, leaving you wide open to shoot.

As you shoot, adrenaline slows down the time, making it feel like it takes the ball forever to fly through the air and into the hoop. After keeping your eyes on the ball the whole time, you finally see the ball go cleanly through the basket, hitting nothing but nylon. With it, the crowd roars as you’ve grown the lead to 5 with almost no time for retaliation. After getting back on defense one last time, you hear the final buzzer roar through the arena— “is it done? Did we win?”, your brain wonders. As if hearing your thoughts, a teammate hugs you, “yo we won, man, we won. Can you believe that? We won!”, he says, screaming at you. After him, your other teammates start piling up on you one by one; “ah yes, we did win”, your brain confirms.

-

After exchanging emotions with everyone, you’re now left alone in the court. You find yourself on your knees trying to process everything that has happened, your emotions still at bay. Shortly after, you look up to find Seoyeon, immediately spotting her. She’s bawling her eyes out while having her fists in the air.

You run up to her so you two can share this moment. You hold out your arms and she fills it right away, “oppa, you did it, you won!”, she says, her voice shaky from the emotions. “Yes, we did, sweetie. We won, and it’s all thanks to you”, you reply to her as tears start running down your face. After hugging for a few seconds, you pull away from her, “I’m going to the locker room, see you at home, love”, you tell her. “Don’t forget, oppa, I have a present for you, a huge one”, she replies to you, a mischievous smile drawn on her face.

You ended up spending an hour celebrating with the team and a bunch of professors who attended the game. You’re now in the Uber heading home, all refreshed and cleaned up after showering. You’re excited at the prospect of getting a present from your beloved—not long to go until you reach your apartment. As soon as you arrive at the door, you enter the passcode. “Huh, no sound from Seoyeon”, you think to yourself. “Seoyeon, are you home, baby?”, you say loudly as you try to find her. “In here, oppa”, you hear her say behind the closed bedroom door.

After putting down your stuff, you knock on the door and enter the bedroom. You’re met with Seoyeon, who has her bathrobe on like last time, making your heart rate jump through the roof in excitement. “Congrats on winning the tournament, oppa”, she starts, “and with it, you’ve won the grand prize”. “Thank you, baby, and what’s this grand prize you’re talking about?”, you ask, ready to get lucky.

“Your prize—“, she says while taking a few steps back and taking off her robe, revealing a very sexy black lingerie, “—is me”. Your cock hardens instantly at her words, “oh, really?”, you reply to her, your head full of lust— “when did she buy that?”, your brain asks. “Yes, oppa—or should I say, daddy”, she says while getting on her knees, “I’m entirely yours, daddy. Do what you want to me”.

You walk up and kneel on one knee in front of her, getting on her eye level, “Safe word?”, you ask. “Same as always, but I don’t plan on using it tonight. Let me please you, daddy—use me”, she says, not folding to your deep gaze. You stand back up again to free your cock from its constraints, and that’s when she adds fuel to your fire, “All yours, daddy, including my ass”. Surprised to hear her offer her ass to you, you look at her, “I hope you’re sure because I’m not asking again”, you warn her. “I’ve given you my cherry, might as well give you the other one”, her reply stuns you. “Get on the bed like last time”, you command her.

You walk over to the bedside table to grab a condom. Seoyeon sees this, and she rushes to you and holds your arm; “fuck me raw, daddy—breed me”, she says with lustful gaze. Your cock gets hard quickly at her words, “careful with what you wish for, slut”, you say while holding her by the chin and she replies by smirking seductively. “Get on your hands and knees, now”, you say impatiently.

Once she’s in position—her head hanging off the edge while the rest of her body is in bed—put your cock into her mouth. You see her chest go up and down with every thrust, trying to stay calm as your cock is lodged in her airway. Naughty as you are, you palm her neck with one hand. You feel her throat bulging every time you push deep into her mouth. This, however, makes her lose control and start gagging loudly. “Oh shit, I’m getting close”, you groan and she lets out a muffled whine as a reply. You pick up your pace, planning to cum in her moist mouth. A few thrusts later, you feel your cock twitch: a signal that you’re cumming.

Trying to show her some mercy, you pull your shaft out but leave the tip in. “Fuck!”, you say as you cum in her mouth and make her choke on your cum. She waits for you to finish spurting your baby batter before tapping your thighs, asking for you to pull out. Once you do, you see that spit has run down her face. “Show me”, she opens her mouth filled with cum, “so?”, you ask. She puts her doubts aside and swallows it, earning a chuckle from you. “You’re such a good girl, aren’t you? Move up, get comfortable”, you say as you help her move up the bed, “I’m your good girl, daddy. I’ll do anything for you”, she says.

She’s laying on her stomach limply while you leave to get water. “Drink, baby. You’ve been screaming a lot”, you say to her sweetly while putting the glass close to her mouth, letting her sip some water. “Thank you, daddy. You’re so sweet”, she says with a grateful smile on her face. “So, what now?”, you ask her, hoping that she’ll keep her promise from earlier. “Fuck my ass, daddy. Take my last cherry and make me yours entirely. I’ve prepared the lube, it’s in the bottom drawer”, she says to you, her eyes full of lust again, ready to give you her last virginity.

You kneel behind Seoyeon and stick your cock deep into her pussy, making her moan at the first penetration. “You want daddy’s cum? You think you deserve it?”, you say with a hoarse voice while aggressively thrusting into her. “Daddy—oh, I—ah, fuck—I’m your good girl—fuck—please give me your cum”, she says while moaning and cursing out loud. Not one to deny such request, you push her down so that only her ass is in the air. “As you wish, slut”, and with it, you start picking up your pace: giving it to her deep and fast, making her grip the sheets tightly while screaming into the pillow.

“Oh God, you’re stretching me, daddy—fuck!—keep going, please. Breed me, please!”, she begs you. “Zip it, slut—fuck, how are you still so tight after all this time?”, you say before pressing her head into the pillow. “I’m not too far away now”, you announce, while Seoyeon is still screaming into the pillow, “I’ll need to give her a lot of water after this”, you say to yourself, taking a mental note. “Fuck, I’m cumming. Cum with me, baby”, you say, breaking your dominant character before thrusting one last time and leaving your cock stuck deep in her pussy, filling her second hole with baby batter. You notice that she’s also having her orgasm as shown by her shaking legs and thighs. You pull out after the both of you have come down from your high—your cock is now shining thanks to her slick.

You walk away from her and open the bottom drawer, and would you look at that: a sealed bottle of Prael Gel lube. “When did you buy this?”, you ask her. “Wouldn’t you like to know”, she says before chuckling, “do it, daddy—I’m begging you”. After slathering lube all over your cock, you get into the bed again, “how do you want me?”, she says as she gets ready to get into position. “Just lay on your stomach and spread these cheeks for me”, you tell her, spanking both cheeks and making them red. “As you wish, daddy”, she says while her hands are spreading her cheeks, letting you see the forbidden hole.

Once you’re in, you start giving her deep but slow thrusts and let her asshole adapt to the large shaft lodged in it, “my God you’re so tight—fucking hell”, you exclaim while her anal muscles are squeezing your cock. “Alwa-always am, for you—oh my God, fuck!”, she screams into the pillow again when you reach the deepest point, “you’re going to ruin me, daddy—please ruin me, I’m nothing without you”, she says, making the fire in you rage wildly. “I’m going faster, keep squeezing my cock”, you say to her. Seeing her press her head into the pillow serves as a green light to you, so you start going faster while still hitting the deepest spot in her ass. “God I’m gonna cum again”, you groan as you’re inching closer to your third orgasm tonight.

You get on top of her and set your knees on either side of her thighs. You slowly move forward until your tip reaches her rear entrance. Seoyeon gasps and turns her head to look at you, “slowly, daddy, please—be gentle with your slut; it’s her first time”, she says to you, “did she just call herself a slut?”, you think. You just give her a nod while pushing into her ass—her muscles are not letting you in, “relax, baby, let me in”, you say to her.

You’re not entirely sure if she actually relaxes as you keep pushing forward and forcefully break in into her ass. You finally get past her sphincter, stretching her asshole and molding it into the shape of your cock. “Fuck, daddy, you’re so big! Please be gentle, please, please—God, fuck—it’s-it’s my first time, daddy—AHHHH!”, her screams are muffled by the pillow but still loud enough to reach your ears.

Not wanting to leave her behind, you lift her ass up into the air again and begin rubbing her clit. “Cum with me or I’m tying you to the bed”, you whisper in her ear. Upon hearing your command, she replies, “oh, oh, daddy, please let me cum with you—AHHHHH PLEAAASE”. The way her asshole squeezes your cock is foreign to you, so you can’t help but let out deep groans of your own. After thrusting in and out about a few dozen times while her moans and whines fuel your lust, the familiar feeling of reaching ejaculation is creeping up on you. You rub her clit faster to get her to cum with you while you keep fucking her ass. “Seoyeon, I’m cumming, take it all!”, “DADDY PLEASE”, she screams in return, and with it, you’re releasing in her ass while she squirts for the first time.

Despite feeling weak in the core and wanting to fall over, you pull out of her ass, being shown the gape your cock has made of her ass. Seoyeon is not making any sound right now, so you hope that she’s just drained and still fine. You peck her on the back of the head before going to the bathroom to start the shower.

After making sure that everything is set in the bathroom, you go back to the bedroom and touch her back, “no, no, daddy. Pochacco, please—fuck—I can’t take it anymore. Please, I’m begging you”, she says while panicking, saying her safe word for good measure. “Hey, hey, calm down, baby. We’re done for tonight. There’s nothing to worry about, okay?”, you soothe her while petting her head softly. “Let me take care of you, alright? The shower is ready”, you say to her before carrying her to the bathroom.

You sit her down on the stool since you figure that she won’t be able to stand up on her own after getting wrecked in all 3 holes. You start cleaning her back as usual before kneeling in front of her. “Oppa, did you like it? I-I hope I did well”, she says. “Baby, it was amazing and you did excellent. Thank you so much”, you say before going in for a kiss. “I thought my ass was on fire, oppa—“, she says after pulling away, so you hug her as a gesture of apology, “—but I think I liked it, you felt much bigger in my ass”. “Are you saying we should do it again? I think it was amazing”, you ask with hopefulness in your voice. “O-oh, yeah, sure”, she says before looking away, subtle pink tint on her cheeks.

-

You two get back into the bed after showering to start cuddling. You’re half-mindedly petting her head that’s currently tucked against your chest, inching closer to sleep before your brain reminds you of something. “Hey, baby, what happened? I thought you weren’t ready for anal?”, you ask her. “Ahh, oppa”, she whines cutely and slaps your chest lightly, “a friend told me that she had just given her anal cherry to her boyfriend as a birthday present, an-and I figured that maybe I could do that as well should you win the tournament”, she continues. “I must say that you’re crazy but I’m also thankful”, you say before kissing her head, “but where did the daddy kink come from?”, you follow up. Before saying anything, she pulls away from the cuddle and gets on top of you, “I.. want to be yours, like yours yours, you know?”, she says before looking away from your deep gaze, “I figured that I could be your subby baby and let you do whatever to me to prove my sincerity”.

You’re absolutely stunned by her answer, “you know you didn’t need to do all that, right? You know I love you”, you say to her. “Yes, yes, you always say that you love me, but I still want to do it. Please, oppa, accept me”, she says. You pull her down and hug her tightly, “of course, baby. I love you so much, okay?”, you then whisper in her ear, getting back into the dominant character, “you’re mine from now on, and you’ll do whatever I ask you to, you understand?”. “Yes, daddy. From now on, I’m your slut”, she replies, her voice laced with submission to you. Satisfied with her answer, you wrap her in your arms once again and take her to the dreamland while the gears in your head start spinning, trying to come up with things to do to her in the future.

[crackedpumpkin]

Hi i saw your one shot of leo x reader " lair " and it broke my heart to pieces.

So is it okay to ask for a fluff one shot where leo is trying to patch things up with reader? Trying to win her again?

|| ʟɪᴀʀ ᴘᴛ. ᴛᴡᴏ || ʀɪꜱᴇ! ʟᴇᴏ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ||

Well, you asked and I answered, lovely anon! The first part was initially meant to be a standalone oneshot to bring you pain and suffering, but I thought, 'Why not?' and wrote a part two. This ending is however, completely optional, depending if you'd prefer to leave part one on the painful note :) (That's what I did)

"Just one more chance," He pleads, voice soft outside your shut window.

You press your head further into your pillow, waking up in a cold sweat from your dream. You'd be lying if you said you weren't affected by the breakup. The desk felt empty without his usual clutter, the absence of the framed photo of you together a constant reminder of what once was.

You'd never admit it, but you often find yourself glancing down at your phone, waiting for the occasional text from Leo. You were exhausted, trying to move on from him. But often, you'd come home to your empty apartment, collapsing onto the cold sofa and missing the warmth of his arms around you.

You had moved out a couple weeks after the breakup, only having told Donnie about it. The genius turtle had agreed to keep your secret from your ex in exchange for a constant supply of your signature guacamole. 

You had offered to teach him the recipe, but he quote-unquote, "prefer to focus my energy onto things that have more significant results than a bowl of guac."

He visited sometimes and brought Mikey with him. Not recently, though, as Leo was getting suspicious. You enjoyed their presence - maybe it's true that when you love someone, you also love their family.

Loved, to be exact.

The feeling of loneliness gnaws away at your chest.

You pull out your phone, a buzz signalling a new message. You unlock it, squinting at the screen to read Mikey's latest message. 

Dude, I'm so sorry. He got your new number when he snatched away my phone. - Mikester, sent at 9pm. 

As soon as your eyes skim over the words, your phone vibrates from an incoming call. You flinch, dropping the phone. 

It lands screen up, and your breath hitches from the unsaved number. There's no way you wouldn't recognize the same number you had subconsciously memorized and called countless nights. 

You steel your resolve, trembling hands picking it back up and hitting the button to accept the call. You hold it up to your ear, waiting for him to speak. You hear a sharp inhale on the other end, biting your lip to prevent yourself from doing the same once you hear his voice. 

"Hello...?" 

There it was. The voice that had once brought you joy from just a simple greeting, one that had reassured you and whispered sweet nothings into your ear as he held you close in your bed. 

"Leo." You breathe out, trying to ignore the sharp pang in your chest at the mention of his name.

“Y/n,” His voice is quiet and subdued, starkly contrasting with his usual cheerful and carefree nature. “I know we ended badly, but could we meet to talk about it? If that’s okay with you, of course.” You can hear his voice tremble on the last word, the audible gulp a dead giveaway.

You’re silent, taking the time to think. Do you risk it? Or do you not? In retrospect, you had never really found full closure from everything. Maybe it’s why your head is still filled with thoughts of him, your apartment a constant reminder of the subconscious habits adopted from your relationship with him.

“Alright,” You agree in a quick exhale. 

“Thank you…Would Run of the Mill be okay? At seven tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, that sounds good.” 

And then both of you hang up. Unknown to you, Leo is hunched over his phone in his room, holding his head in his trembling hands, relieved that you had agreed.

You open the door of your (very) empty fridge, sighing at the lack of food besides condiments like mayo and a bottle of cola. You grab the drink, passing the bowl of guac you had made for Donnie. 

You turn on the TV, trying to drown out the loud silence in your apartment. You sit on the couch, feet curled up and under a blanket. You watch the show blankly, trying not to address the emptiness you feel after the phone call. 

You take a sip, the cola burning the back of your throat. You grimace, setting it back down on the coffee table. You didn't even like cola, so why was it in your fridge? 

Ah. Leo liked cola.

You focus on the TV programme, deciding to drift off to sleep instead. God knows you'd need it, considering you'll be talking to your ex tomorrow. 

— — — — — — — — 

This is it. This is the day your life will be better off without him. The day you finally bring things to a close. 

You tap your feet, waiting impatiently for Leo. You had arrived at Run of the Mill ahead of time, choosing to dress in your best battle armour. In this case, it’s a stunning black dress that stops right above your knees. It made you feel confident, and your smoky eyes made you look badass. 

"Hey," you turn at the familiar voice, ignoring the way your heart does stupid little flips. 

"Y-you look good." Leo stutters, trying to pass off a suave smile as natural. But you knew him better than that, noticing the beads of sweat on his brow and how his hands shook ever-so-slightly. 

He's just as nervous as you are. 

The realization relaxes your tense shoulders, now knowing you weren't the only one. The surprising absence of his swords elicits a raise of your brow, and he notices. 

"I left them at home. I just wanted to focus on us tonight." He admits, fiddling with his fingers. 

"Then how're we going to enter?" You gesture to the brick wall, and the both of you are shut out from the restaurant without his sword to open the doorway into it. From how his eyes widen in shock and his cheeks flush in embarrassment, it's apparent that he didn't think that far ahead. 

Of course, he didn't, you think fondly. 

Wait. Fondly? No. No way. You were here to just talk and address the breakup. That's all there was to it. You dismiss the small smile at the familiarity of the situation, remembering how the same thing had occurred on your fifth date. 

You spot the way Leo's eyes light up at your amused expression, quickly masking it with a blank expression. "Should we get some takeaway instead?" Leo suggests. From the look on his face, it seemed that he recalled the exact same memory. You shrug, but Leo knows it means that you agree.

 ------------

You sit on the rooftop of an apartment building, a piping hot pizza in its box between you two. You take a slice, and so does he. The both of you eat silently, eyes darting to focus on anything but each other.

"So," you're the first to break the silence. He flinches, almost choking on his last bite. 

"So..." He drawls out. C'mon, Leo! He silently chides himself, trying to not be intimidated by how utterly gorgeous you look in that dress. 

You're waiting patiently for him to continue the conversation, and he desperately wishes that his hands could cup yours in a gentle hold. He wants to apologize, to grovel, and to beg for you to take him back. 

The past weeks were absolute agony for him, and he missed you more than anything. So many ways were thought up to express his apologies and promise the world if you'd just give him another chance. He'd make things right, to love you more than you'd ever need or want. 

But in an instant, once his eyes meet yours, it's all gone. Your eyes are filled with so much vulnerability, your pale complexion a dead giveaway to how you haven't taken good care of yourself. He observes the tautness in your cheeks. You'd been losing weight too, he realizes. 

"I'm sorry." The heartfelt apology spills past his lips, carrying so much weight with so few words. 

“Sorry isn’t enough to undo everything you’ve done to hurt me.” You inhale deeply, willing the lump in your throat to fade. “Six dates that you’ve stood me up on, not to mention the missed calls and unread texts.” You list out.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t….” I didn’t mean it, Leo wants to say, but he knows it’s a mere excuse, and he catches himself before he hurts you and ruins everything yet again. “I don’t have an excuse. I should’ve treated you better, and you have every right to feel this way.” 

“You lied to me.” Your words are quiet, and your eyes fill with sorrow. No matter how much you prepared yourself for this moment, it’s rendered useless as the wound is reopened from mere memory.

He’s so full of guilt, and it seeps out through his words. “I did.” He confesses, shame filling his cheeks and feeling them burn. “And I never should have.”

“Yeah,” You whisper, looking down at your lap where you’re fiddling with your hands. You swallow down the lump in your throat, hating how your eyes tear up again and how much he still affects you.

“But I’ve changed,” You look back up to meet his gaze, his eyes filled with pure resolve and earnestness. “I’ll treat you better than ever before, and I’ll make it up to you. Please, give me another chance. I’ll never hurt you ever again. I promise.” 

You shake your head, feeling the tears spill out the corner of your eyes and trickle down your cheeks. You couldn’t risk it. Not again. But Donnie had mentioned that Leo really had changed, how he wrote so many letters piled up on his desk. 

Heartfelt words left unsaid, Donnie had put it. He even admitted to taking a peek but never told you about its contents, only that Leo really had changed.

Even Mikey had brought it up.

God, you hated yourself for what you were about to say next. You turn around, facing him. He looks back up, willing the tears to go away. "Three dates." You ignore the way your heart pounds in your chest. 

He clears his throat, rubbing his eyes roughly with the back of his hand, "What?" His voice comes out hoarse, but he could care less about that. What mattered more were the two words you had just spoken. 

"I'll go on those three dates with you." You repeat, holding up a finger to stop him from speaking, "And we'll see where it goes; no promises." 

— — — — — — — — 

Date Numero Uno.

Leo waits on the cinema rooftop, two separate bean bags on the picnic mat that covers the ground. An assortment of popcorn and candy litter the ground, a projector he borrowed from Donnie sitting on a small table behind the bean bags.

He senses your arrival and turns to face you. He’s left speechless, the breath knocked out of him when he sees you in a pair of blue jeans and a flowy blouse. A necklace decorates your bare neck, bringing out your collarbones.

You’re beautiful.

He’s struggling to greet you, tripping over his words and stammering, reduced to the mess he was when you first kissed him. 

You survey the scene, eyebrows raised when you spot all your favourite candy and snacks, even the ones Leo didn’t like. 

He remembers.

Your heart melts slightly at the gesture, but you choose not to give anything away. You set down your purse beside one of the beanbags, choosing to sit down. “So, what movie are we watching?” Your voice is impassive, pretending to not be impressed.

“Well,” Leo walks over, sitting down and making himself comfortable in the blue bean bag, “Remember our first date?” He hits play on the app connected to the projector, and it begins to play the movie on the wall of the taller building opposite the both of you.

You gasp softly, eyes wide as your favourite movie starts playing. It brings you back to that day in the park when you first met him, a mutant monster having interrupted the public screening. He and his brothers had subdued it, only for him to smoothly invite you on a date to make up for the interruption.

It was a difficult movie to find in high quality. All the websites you visited only had blurry frame-by-frame displays. He had never told you how he managed to get a copy on your first date, and you never asked.

“How’d you get it?” You turn to him, unable to hold back your curiosity. 

“Well, I kinda had to make a trade with Donnie.” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, his gaze soft when he looks at you. 

You avert your gaze, feeling slightly flustered yet touched. The mood remains silent with nervous tension, and you nibble on a snack as the movie plays. 

Then Leo makes a joke, wincing when it breaks the silence. 

But to Leo’s delight, you laugh. It sparks hope in him, and he continues to make pun after pun. You try to hide the small smiles from your amusement, but the atmosphere soon turns from awkward to comfortable and warm. 

He walks you home after, insisting that you keep the snacks he had bought and reassuring you that he’d be the one to clean up the rooftop. 

“Well, today’s not a bad start.” You murmur, stopping at the doorway to your apartment. He has his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, eyes filled with hope. “Just wait; I have another two dates to make it up to you.” He quips. 

“Goodbye, Leo.” You chuckle, entering your home. You close the door behind him, and he heads home.

— — — — — — — — 

Date Numero Dos

The bright lights of the carnival almost blind you as you weave through the crowd, spotting a familiar blue hoodie and jeans. You walk over to the booth that Leo’s waiting at. He pockets his phone once he sees you, straightening his posture and greeting you with a smile.

“So, this carnival, huh?” You cross your arms, looking at the booths around. He nods, holding up two express tickets that would allow the both of you to skip the long queues. 

He’s really serious about this, you note with a soft smile. 

Leo knows this next move is risky, but he does it anyway. He holds his arm to you, “Because it’s really crowded. Just scared you might get lost, and I won’t be able to spot you in the crowd.” He jokes nervously, holding his breath. 

You hesitate, but you gently place your hand on his bicep. Besides, this is just to prevent you from being separated from the crowd. Nothing else.

You feel his body relax, observing the quiver of his lips as he tries not to beam. You hide a small chuckle at the sight.

He brings you to all the various carnival games, cheering for you as you knock down towers of metal cups with a tennis ball and win a prize. You do the same when he’s hula-hooping, lasting the longest out of all the other participants. He has the audacity to do a few tricks with the hula-hoop to rub his win in everyone else’s face, and you giggle at the sight.

“Move aside, blue.” You pat his chest a couple of times, the feeling so natural to you that you almost forget that you are no longer together. A blush coats Leo’s cheeks as he looks at you, aiming the toy gun at the tower of Jenga bricks, the action stunning him into silence.

You groan, only one last small stack remaining upright. A mischievous idea hits him, and he sneakily uses his sword to form a portal behind the bricks, using his finger to flick it and send it toppling down. You gasp in delight, and your arms are thrown up in victorious cheer.

You turn to face him with unadulterated excitement in your eyes, heat spreading across your nose and cheeks when you see the soft smile on his lips. You avert your gaze, staring down at your sandals as embarrassment fills your body.

“Shall we?” He holds his arm towards you again, but you take it without hesitation this time.

The two of you continue to play the carnival games, and you have so much fun that you forget about the agreement altogether. You make jokes and laugh and gasp in excitement when he hands you a large stick of cotton candy to share. You tear off small pieces, relishing in the happiness of the sweetness that melts on your tongue. 

When he walks you home, you're disappointed that the date is ending, much to your surprise. You shut the door behind you as usual, small butterflies in your stomach and a silly smile you can’t seem to wipe off your lips.

You’re lying in bed when the phone screen lights up with a call, and you answer it without looking at the number.

“Hey,” Leo sounds surprised that you picked up, and you tuck the phone close to your ear, using your shoulder to hold it in place as you massage your sore feet. 

“Hey,” You reply softly, glancing up at the clock. Eleven PM.

“Did you get home safe?” That pulls a chuckle out of you, “You walked me home.” You remind him with an amused roll of your eyes.

“Oh, I knew that. Just wanted to check, is all.” Leo bluffs, lying on his bed with the phone next to him on his pillow.

“So, why the sudden call…?” You ask, switching the phone to rest on your other shoulder as you massage your left calf. 

“I wanted to tell you to dress up for the last date.” Leo turns to lie on his side, untying his bandanna to loop it around the bedpost.

“Oh? How formal are we talking?” You collapse on your pillow, holding the phone above your face. You accidentally lose your grip, and it falls. You yelp when it lands harshly on your nose, rubbing it to relieve the pain.

“You good?” Leo gets worried, sitting upright in his bed. If you were hurt, he’d make his way over to your apartment immediately. He’s relieved when you mumble a yes.

“Yeah, I just accidentally, yet very conveniently, dropped my phone on my face.” You groan, frowning when he barks a short laugh over the phone. “Hey, you did it too during that movie night in the lair with your family,” You snap playfully.

“I would never!” He gasps, holding his hand over his heart in mock hurt. An affectionate smile finds its way to his lips, staring up at the ceiling.

“So, where will our last date be?” Your question sobers him up, and a dull pang resonates in his chest at the reminder that there was still a chance you didn’t want to be his anymore.

“Run of the Mill.” He responds, quieter than before. 

You inhale sharply at the mention of the chosen location, and it gets quiet for a while. “Make sure you bring your swords this time.” You try to joke, keeping the atmosphere light.

“I dunno, it might ruin the outfit's aesthetic.” He replies without thinking, warmth blossoming in his chest when he understands what you’re trying to do. He turns to face his phone, oblivious to the fact that you are mirroring his exact position and tender smile in your own bed.

You continue to talk and chat into the night, and when Leo hears your witty replies slow, he knows you’re falling asleep. He finally hears your soft breathing after a while longer, falling silent. He stays in the same position for a bit, just listening and pretending that you’re right there with him at that very moment.

But he hangs up with a sad smile, falling asleep with a pillow in his arms instead of you.

— — — — — — — — 

Date Numero Tres

You’re waiting in the alleyway, checking your phone. You were there on the dot, but a small fear eats away at you, scarred by past experience. 

Would he be a no-show?

He was supposed to have changed. You prayed that he wouldn't let you down. Not again.

You don’t realize how tense your body is until he shows up moments after your doubt starts coding your mind, your shoulders relaxing when you see him. He’s dressed in a casual tuxedo, and you raise a brow at how snazzy he looks in it. 

“M’lady,” He holds out his hand, and you slide your own into his, tingles tiptoeing up your spine at the contact. He pulls a single sword out of the two slung across his hip, and you note that he’d even bought black sheaths for the blades to match the outfit.

He guides you into the restaurant, Señor Hueso bringing you to a private balcony and leaving the both of you with menus. “Wow, you’re really going all out, huh?” You observe, and sit down when he pulls a chair out for you.

He sits down on the chair opposite you. You’re about to pick up the menu to rifle through it, but he places his hand on top and gently pushes it back onto the table. You blink, confused by the gesture.

“Trust me, I know exactly what to order.” He smirks, signalling Señor Hueso to take your order. You ask for a glass of iced tea and wait patiently for Leo to order for the both of you. 

“Señor Hueso, one of your Pizza Especial, large please.” The owner, familiar with Leo’s antics, takes the order with so much as a blink at Leo’s exaggerated Spanish accent. 

“Did you just ask for a Pizza Special?” You ask, bemused yet entertained by the turtle opposite you. He nods with a cheeky wink, inducing a nervous laugh from you. 

You make small talk till the food comes, and you gasp in pleasant surprise when a piping hot pizza is placed between you both, the grilled onions among various other toppings bringing a smile to your face. You’re almost drooling, thanking Señor Hueso, who brings the food to your table before he walks away.

Leo picks up the first slice of pizza, placing it onto your plate with a warm smile that sends a rush of endorphins through your body. You clear your throat. “Thanks,” You murmur, picking up the slice and taking the first bite. 

He waits for your reaction, ignoring the rumble his empty stomach makes. He’s euphoric when your eyes light up, taking larger bites with a happy hum. He watches you with fondness in his eyes, stiffening when you catch him.

His eyes focus intently on the pizza, grabbing the second slice and munching hungrily. He doesn’t spot the grin on your lips, and you both eat. After a few slices, you’re stuffed to the max. You lean back in your chair, and Señor Hueso brings the pizza away to be put in a takeaway box at Leo’s request. 

“Dessert?” He asks you. You immediately nod with an eager smile, sitting back upright and covering your mouth politely when you burp. Your cheeks flush in embarrassment, but he finds it cute.

“Would you like to share our signature sundae?” Señor Hueso suggests upon returning with the packaged leftover pizza, waiting for your decision.

“Oh, I don’t think she’d be comfortable-” 

“I don’t mind sharing,” You cut Leo off, and his eyes widen briefly in surprise before they soften at your words. You nod in thanks to Señor Hueso, who leaves to prepare dessert, with silence settling between you both.

“The dates were fun,” You begin the difficult conversation, clearing your throat awkwardly.

“I’m glad you enjoyed them.” Leo’s reply is shy and nervous, fidgeting with his fingers on the table, green skin against the pure white of the tablecloth

Your lips curve upwards into a reassuring smile, reaching across and placing your hands on his. He looks up, taking in your radiant beauty and bright eyes. 

“I can’t wait for the next one.”

He freezes, forgetting how to breathe. 

“Wait,” He looks down, blinking rapidly before looking back up at you, “Does this mean…?”

Your nod of confirmation is all he needs for the rising swell of affection in his chest to spill over in the form of a sudden hug. You gasp in surprise at the feeling of his arms around you, melting into his touch as he buries his head into your shoulder.

You were home in his arms once more.

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

when the clock strikes 12

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

Summary : while awaiting for the new year countdown, Eddie had an idea to blow your mind

Word Count : it's for the mini fics section soooo lengthwise? probably solid

Warnings : 18+ (MDNI)SMUT‼️Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, slight alcohol consumption, reader and Eddie are both (20), slight somnophilia 🫠, aftercare, no use of y/n, reader is slowly waking up and Eddie asks for permission and if you're still uncomfortable with that please don't continue to read, that's just it really

What to Expect : SMUT and FLUFF, Eddie being a silly goose, set in modern era (of course, there's still a touch of 80's in there), UPSIDE DOWN & VECNA DON'T EXIST IN THIS!

Note To Reader : GIF for this because I'm missed seeing him moving on my fics lmao, also the divider is made by me hehe- I'm literally exposing myself out here, please forgive for my salacious thoughts 🙏🏻 (if you know me in real life? no- you don't 😃)

Author Note : I know I've been long gone for a while but I'm trying my best to post new fics as much as I can! there has been a lot of happenings with my life especially we're having a lot of events like family reunion 🫠 (but it's so much fun tho ngl)

The preparation for new year's is going so well

So well, that you haven't realized how tired you really are

You're so productive that you've used too much of energy on yourself for working to prepare for the party

You wanted this to be perfect

You want everything to be settled in according to your plan

Eddie knows that you're always so "serious" when it comes to decoration and especially when there's an occasion

He loves you for it though, you just don't throw parties

You throw the greatest parties all the time and you never missed

All of your friends are in there, Steve, Robin, Jonathan, Nancy, Argyle and the freaking kids that you always adored so much

You looked around at everyone in the room

Jeff and Gareth are bantering at each other with some album, Dustin and Lucas fight over which 80's fantasy film is the best, Steve, Robin and Eddie surprisingly getting along with the same pop music artist, you could see the three of them geeking at each other

Max and Jane do makeover at each other which aches your heart of seeing them so close to each other, it's really so sweet to have a real girl bestfriend like that

"I'm gonna refill your glass" Nancy pasts over to you snatching the glass on your hand so swiftly that it makes you snap out of your head

You slowly trying to register what just happened and you smile finally

"More wine? really?" You say as you watch her fill your glass with wine

"Uh, yeah?" she replies with a dramatical jerk to her head as you chuckle

"But it's only 9pm!" you exclaim with wide eyes but a fond smile on your lips

"are you saying that we should only be drinking when the clock finally strikes 12?!?" she says while she fills her cup, she takes glances at you and back to her glass

"Ah- yes, that! exactly!" you point to her using your index finger as you holding your glass of wine

You could already feel yourself getting drowsy a little bit from the wine

Red wine will always make you feel sleepy

You don't even know if it's the alcohol or you just really need to doze off for a minute before you could scream at the top of your lungs for 2024

You don't even know how many glasses that you already take

"Did we just finished the whole bottle?" You feel the world is spinning on you

Nancy, your bestfriend- raises the bottle in front of you as she snorts at your disapproval look

"Kinda?" she says slurring as she smirks at you

"What do you mean? Kinda?!"

"Hey- woah!"

Jonathan passes by and bless him for his instincts because Nancy would've been knocked her head on the counter as she starts stumbling from her stance, he catches her on time

Nancy giggled as you rolled your eyes in annoyance, massaging your forehead

He saw the look from your face as he chuckles

"She got too far again, huh?"

"Yeah, she always does, Jonathan, nothing's new" you reply as you also can't walk properly

"Wait- don't move- should I call-"

Before Jonathan can finish his words, the voice of your boyfriend booms out of nowhere while Argyle tails behind him, looking at you and Nancy

"Sweetheart- how you've-"

Eddie clocked the wine bottle from Nancy hand

"Did you dr-"

"Don't even try it, Ed's" you placed your palm over his mouth as you stumble forward, he immediately wraps his arms around you as you started pressing all of your weight against his chest making the male laugh as he gently hold the back of your head

"Y'all getting drunk already? It's not even 12am yet" Argyle with his iconic tone, you seriously have no idea which one of his voice is normal

You've never heard him talk in normal voice before so you're used to him having that voice that sounds so freaking high as fuck

But, he's a good bud tho, so hilarious

"Blame her, not me! Eddie tell them!" You defend yourself as you put your chin onto his chest as you look at him with a pout on your lips, he smiles as he ruffles his face against yours making your face scrunch up from his action, he laughs again

"What's with all of the commotion?" Steve arrives with hands on his hips

"The two got their selves drunk again" Jonathan points to you and to his girl

"As if that's new" Robin appears in the corner with her arms crossed leaning against the side of the wall

Steve chortles "Wait- you got hustled by Nancy again?"

You groaned from Steve's teasing "yeah, I always fail to see that, thanks" you say

"I told you, you shouldn't brought the wine here, you moron!" Robin uncrosses her arms finally figuring out where the wine misplaced her eyes widen when she saw Nancy holding it, she snatches it making her bite a laugh as Jonathan also connecting the dots at the scene

He pressed his lips together to not burst from laughter

Argyle watches both of his friends having a fit of unnecessary argument

"I think I need to grab a popcorn for this" he leaves abruptly as he looked at your kitchen cabinets and came back munching in a bag of popcorn, very entertained at the scene

"I-I don't know how she got it!"

"Did you hide it properly!?"

"Look- Robs-"

Robin clicks her tongue as she asks "Nancy, how did you get the wine bottle?!"

She turns around with a lopsided smile as Jonathan steadys her

"I just saw it hanging around but-"

"But?"

"I think Steve" she points at him as she chuckles making the boy winces as he finally remembered of what he's done

"Forgotten about it that he left it out there, soooo" she giggles again making Robin grumble as she raises both of her eyebrows at Steve

"Oh- come on!" Steve runs his fingers through his hair as he decides to turn back leaving all of you

"Hey! don't you walk out on me! I paid for that expensive shit-" Robin follows him as she starts pointing everything on him

Argyle, Jonathan, Nancy and Eddie all laughing at the scene while meanwhile you, Eddie could hear you chuckle a bit but you made a little hum

He draws back his attention at you, he looks down at you

"I think I need to doze off for a minute" you say to him with your sleepy eyes

He smiles as he kisses the top of your head he put his arms around you "Yeah, sure"

Eddie says to Jonathan and the rest that you and him will be out for a while, they all nod and said "Don't be late for the countdown"

Your boyfriend leads you to your bedroom as you throw yourself at your bed as he closes the door walking towards you, you lay behind your back as you stretch your whole body, Eddie chuckles at your tipsy behavior

"I love my bed"

"Yeah, you always do"

"Uh huh"

He snickers "Okay, honey, are you well? are you sober?" He leans down at you

"Eddie- you know the alcohol hits harder at Nancy right?"

"I'm just checking you know to see if my girl's alright" he shrugs as he put his hands inside of his pockets

"I'm very much, okay, eds- I'm sssleepy" you yawn as you feel your eyes dropping until it shuts completely

He chuckles as he shakes his head he leans down as he kisses your forehead you smile at the gesture as it makes you even heavier to fall asleep

Eddie watches you sleep as he stands over at the window

The neighborhood outside is quite a watch, everyone is having fun, everyone is having a blast

The music outside is dull but he can hear all of his friends laughter and the screams of excitement from them

He shifts from where he standing as he tears off his eyes from the outside of your window and goes back at you

You turned on the other side, so you're now facing him as you snuggle against your pillow

Eddie smiles to himself, he feels so good having you in his life

He walks towards you as he moves the fallen hair strand on your face

His eyes softens as he sats down beside you

You stirred up from the movement on the bed as you try to open your eyes, you smiled when you realized it's Eddie

You pulled him closer beside you as he lets you take him laying down with you

He put his other arm over you as you cuddled against his chest almost hugging him in the process

You feel more cozier and even more sleepier than before

The moment you move your leg over to his

Your skirt rise up exposing more bare skin to him, his breath hitches at the sight of it

He looks down at you, he double thinked- maybe- it's a bad idea to do this but he wants you so badly right now

He shouldn't even be thinking that you will get mad because hell-

You trust him

So.....

He starts sinking down beside you, you moved slightly as he continues to do his work

He plants hot kisses over your neck when finds your sweet spot- you hum lightly

He's now on top of you, holding your hips, he's positioning you laying on your back, your head is on the side, still sleeping peacefully

He goes over to your chest, you're wearing tube top with a zipper in front, so he has a access to your bare chest, he kisses more and more

Your body couldn't even register what's going on

You felt hot and cold all over because of the midnight's weather and from your body heating up from the tension that your boyfriend is giving you

You feel him going lower and lower but you can still feel your eyes tired

He watches your soft heaves from chest rising up and down, his eyes darkened when he puts his hand inside of your skirt, he slowly reaches at the hem of your panties

He licks his lips, your skin feels on fire because of his fingertips, your stir from your sleep once again but still not opening your eyes

He doves onto your lips, kissing you, and you hummed as you lazily kissed him back

"May I?"

You move your head onto the other side, you catch a glimpse of the clock, it says 11:20pm

"Ed's, we might get late-" even though, you want him to do it

"Please"

You're not even opening your eyes yet but you can see his pleading eyes being directed at you

"Yes, Eddie, you can have me, take it all" you sank down further making Eddie groaned when his fingers touched your center, it's drenched

He hook his fingers on your underwear along with your skirt discarded on the floor

You shudder at the cool air as Eddie positioning himself comfortably

He smears kisses on the inside of your thighs as he goes closer and closer to your core

You moved your head on the other way as you try to close your legs when you can't help but feel the arousal that's coming in

But he places his palms on the sides of your legs spreading you open as you can feel of your insides burning from his touch

His hands are everywhere, when the moment he swiped his fingers at your core, you released lewd noises as your breathing goes quicker

He licked his finger cleaning it off with his tongue, he grins down at you

He holds your hips as he leans down

"Ed-"

Before you can finish your sentence, he doves down lapping at your juices as you gasp from his sudden action

His eyes are glued to you as he continues to do his work, watching your once peaceful slumber turns into pleasure

He devours you so satisfying that it's making you close your legs, he smirks as you can feel his tongue go lower inside, you mewled

He holds you tightly as you grip on the sheets, he sucked more and more of you until your can feel your legs shake

You can feel his hand reaching on the hem of your top, you slightly open your eyes as you find the zipper as you pull it down

He grunts when he saw your breasts that he worships everyday, you loved the way he admires your body

You're now naked so divinely displayed for him

His free hand kneads your boobs as you moaned, he dives back down as he starts to bully your clit

You can feel your body tremble from the sensation forming up in your stomach

You reached for his hair as you pull it making his eyes grow hungrier and eats you like man starved for days

"Oh- Eddie-"

He carries the back your butt as his tongue digs deeper earning a squeal from you when he reaches the spot that you didn't know it existed

Your eyes are heavy-lidded, you try to watch him but you can't when your brain can't place your emotions whether is melatonin or oxytocin

you're not sure at this point but hella you feel so fucking amazing right now

He abruptly stops and when he does, you finally open your eyes

"Wha- what- don't stop!" You whine

"What about the countdown?" His lips are covered with your slick and his saliva altogether not caring a single shit that it's literally dripping down on his chin

You gasp at it as you moaned, he chuckles darkly, you know what he's doing he's teasing you

"Do you know that you're frickin' beautiful without even trying?" He goes at his usual antics as you beg for him to come back down

"Eddie, please!"

"Not until you see stars"

"What-"

Before you can utter another word, he goes back in but this time he places your legs over his shoulders another spectacular angle making you shiver from his touches yet again

He grips your legs, thighs, arms, your belly, he squeezes your boobs and it's literally fucking everywhere

One thing, you know it's for certain that you really would unashamedly come from his simple touches

He pokes his tongue down on you but when he curled it, you chant his name like a prayer, you have the ability to scream his name without being caught in action inside of the room because of the loud noises from the people and the music

Your eyes burn from the threatening tears but Eddie is not having it, he wanted you to fall apart completely for him

You moaning louder and louder when he swipes his tongue on your entrance when he puts your legs down on the bed

"You're still not seeing it, I see"

"D-Don't stop- please"

He opens your legs again as he resume to his mission, he tongue fucks you as he digs in and out, you squirm at it as he starts picking up the pace as you let out a ragged breath

Goddamn, he is killing you right now, you can already die right then and there heavenly

Your mouth falls open without noise coming out of them as you yank his hair, he growls as you couldn't believe that he could reach every spot inside of you

You arched your back as you start grinding against his face, his eyes flashes devilishly mischief as he didn't stop this time

He laps once more until you cry out his name

You jolted when the fireworks exploded booming the entire neighborhood

You come on his tongue as the same time the fireworks started

Your legs are spent, you feel boneless but a sickly smile is now sitting on your lips

He let you get back on earth for a while as he cleans you up, he dresses you up not leaving single skin left behind without his kisses

"You saw it, huh?" He grins like a devil that he is but you love him, he holds the door open for you letting you first outside

You saw all of your friends jumping on to the music and celebrated very happily

"I did" you admit ignoring the rosy tint on your cheeks "and it was much more better"

"Than?" He throws his arms around your shoulders

"The fireworks" you smile as he chuckles as he kisses the top of your head as he squeezes you to his side

[hunterkat]

This girl is trying to give me gray hairs. Yes I know her head is dirty, explanation below.

So last Friday, 9/6, I took all three birds to the vet. Jasmine and Pepper both had a yeast infection, Pepper’s was more minor and hers was more serious. They both get put on Nystatin. (Rocco was absolutely fine other than a small bald spot under his wing that I’ll have to keep an eye on).

I start giving them Nystatin and I notice Jasmine getting sick once on Sunday. She’s always had these cyclical vomiting episodes, so I get concerned but not too worried. Monday I come home from work and her head is absolutely *covered* in vomit. She’s also still vomiting every 5-10 minutes and doesn’t appear to be keeping any food down. I call the vet first thing Tuesday morning, and go to pick up two medications for her, an ulcer medication and an anti-emetic. I’m also told to immediately stop the Nystatin, as it possibly caused an ulcer and triggered the vomiting. Unfortunately, she’s now vomiting almost constantly and even though I gave her the meds, they came right back up and didn’t help too much. They slowed down her vomiting but she’s still unable to keep anything down.

So Wednesday her vet manages to squeeze her in to be seen. At this point she hasn’t kept food or water down for at least 2 days. She’s given fluids, an anti-inflammatory shot, and they try to tube feed her. Even that comes back up. The vet decides to take Jasmine home with her, as she is in really bad condition- she’s lost 8 grams, is dehydrated, and she still can’t keep down food. The vet takes a risk and gives Jasmine an injectable anti-emetic. This drug is an emergency drug- it can cause a lot of nasty side effects. But Jasmine has a great response to it, and it finally works. Jasmine starts keeping down food around 9pm, and she starts eating small amounts on her own as well.

Thursday I’m able to take Jasmine home under close observation. She’s eating a bit on her own and keeping it down. I take her back Friday for one more anti-inflammatory injection and receive more medications for her, including an antibiotic in case she aspirated at some point while she was so sick.

Finally today she has eaten more than a few bits of food at a time. She still looks very uncomfortable after eating, she’s exhibiting a few signs of pain, but she hasn’t vomited since Wednesday. She’s got energy to be a little pain about getting meds, and even starts trying to fly around her hospital cage a little.

She’s doing so much better than she was, and her vet literally saved her life. We still don’t know exactly what happened, but she’s gone from critical condition on Wednesday to holding steady. Pepper has been very sweet and was hanging out on top of her hospital cage singing to her. He’s also been perfectly fine during all of this. Jasmine still has a while to go before she recovers fully, but she is a very lucky little bird with a fantastic vet team.

[stevenbasic]

Growing into the Job, Post 336: A Saturday at Melissa's, p11 (9PM, Randi)

We were kinda sorta still watching the movie, another superhero thing that was in the theaters a couple years or so ago. Sushi had all been cleaned up, and we’d let him start to recover, dialing back on our, uh, whatever they called these things - pheromones. Missy was reclined, he was cuddled up into her and had been put back into some loose clothes after he’d complained a bit. Most of us were still in swimsuits, though I’d put a little tube top on over mine after our last spurt nearly burst me out of my bikini. Fuck, my tits were getting huge. We’d all grown. 

“Hey, has anyone heard from Marisela?” I asked, to no one in particular, stretching my jaw, “She was supposed to be here.”

I didn’t really get a response. I’d been here only a few hours but he’d came like a bunch of times today already. We were all just sort of lazily recovering, enjoying the new size and energy. Some of us handled it differently than others, and though nobody really talked about it too much some of us were beginning to change in different ways. I stretched out my jaw again, which tended to feel a little sore afterwards, and considered Marisela once more. “Should someone call her?”

“I already tried. Nothing,” Josie replied, casually rubbing J's bare foot. I thought I saw the ends of her long brown hair twitching. She’d gone back to watching Black Widow shrink Ant Man down for like the third time, Amelia was checking her nails.. 

Hm. Well, fuck it. If no one else cares I don’t either. These were odd chicks, for sure, this little friend group of ours. That I’d become the responsible one was a laugh, and I tried not to get too concerned about the weird shit that was going on. I figured I’d worry about whatever Marisela was doing later tonight. Maybe tomorrow. 

Scarlett was holding the guy in her hand and scowling down at him while he tried to joke his way out of something stupid he’d just done. I gererally thought superhero movies were fucking stupid but had to admit the effects in this one were pretty amazing. It was one of the first ones, along with the first She-Hulk movie, that really caught people’s attention, big girls and all that. 

“Haha I dunno..!” Missy laughed back, hugging his head back into her boobs, “Maybe! Would you like that, sweetie..?”

We all laughed as a few girls turned to watch him blush and stammer something we could barely hear. Missy, for her part, took it upon herself to gather him in a little closer, bundling him in the thin blanket he’d been given. I didn't even have to look. One of her hands was definitely under that blanket.

I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out for you people, but for all her quirks, we all adored Missy. Josie, Katie, Amelia and I have known her a long time, Shanette even longer. She’s a special friend to have. It’s been a trip, watching what’s happening to her in the middle of all the crazy shit that’s going down in the world and seeing how she’s drawn this hive of girls all around her. This job had been haha really good for her, to say the least, and it had given us all the opportunity to not only make bank, but to become more than what we were before. Some of us were worker bees, some were becoming more like warriors or soldiers, but everyone had their part. I like to think the boss girls were something even more special still. But Melissa, again for all her oddities, was definitely our queen bee…and she seemed blithely happy with this new little boyfriend of hers. It’s good, she deserves to be happy, especially with what her life story has been. And I have to admit he was pretty cute, so vulni and getting more so everyday. It made my mouth water, thinking of it, and my jaw flex remembering the couple times I had him in the car and in his apartment a few months back. Yummy... 

The guy was a hard-triggered mess unable to think with anything besides what was between his legs. Most of the time that didn't seem weird anymore. It certainly didn’t bother Melissa. In fact, I think she sorta loved it. She would've had trouble seeing anything odd or strange about it. Her view of men was certainly different than most people’s, with the way she was raised. That she even seemed to consider this guy as human, let alone someone to care about, was a big step for her. She’d had him tamed through his libido, which was sort of her go-to automatic thing and not a surprise seeing as how she’d treated boys before, but she honestly seemed to love him. 

Jesus Christ I sound like such an adult. The important thing was that she had him by the dick and that was that. Her new thing was that she wanted us all in on the deal. Well, okay, we could become his protectors, his guardian angels or whatever. It certainly felt good, this new kind of energy we were all getting since yesterday. I could feel it in my teeth and jaw.

Watching Black Widow zipping up her top, hiding away and trapping Ant Man in her bra and then having to fight off some robots got Melissa thinking. She and the rest of us sort of chatted about it, and it was obviously making him kinda nervous. I sensed it, and she certainly did too. She spoke up, finally, and sat him up a bit on her lap. It was weird, kinda. How her voice seemed to make the movie go quiet as all the lasers and punching noises faded into the background. We were all - all like, I dunno, dozen of us - turned to her. Attentive. 

”Jay, I want you to tell them what we talked about last night,” she said. Melissa was half-reclined on the couch, her long legs stretched out and taking up a good number of seats. Shanette sat alongside her on the other wing of the sectional.

He was turned on her lap a little awkwardly at the waist, so he could look back down at her. He nodded his head, like he knew exactly what she was talking about, what she wanted him to tell the crowd of us. “Melissa, uh…because of what’s going on with my, uh…health, thinks I need some…protecting.” 

As the words left him I watched Shanette whispering in Missy’s ear. As she pulled back, Melissa shook her head in the negative and spoke up again. “No,” she said to him, “That doesn’t sound right. Try again, sweetie.”

I saw his reaction - he was a little taken aback. But he paused, and rather than argue, he thought for a moment and reworded what he’d said. ”She believes it’d be in my best interest if you all helped her-“

Shanette was whispering in her ear again, and again Melissa stopped him. ”Uh uh uh,” She said, herself stopping to think now, “I know what’s wrong. Try saying it like this ‘I’m starting to have a hard time, and I need all your help. I need you all to become more protective of me.’” Melissa looked at him with those big, golden-green eyes of hers and I could see the gears turning between them. “Try that, honey,” she instructed, already expectant.

You could tell he felt awkward, all those female eyes on him, the center of attention. But, he was able to repeat her word for word: “I’m starting to have a hard time, and I need all your help. I need you all to become more protective of me.” 

When we all gave several half-claps and ‘good jobs’, you could see his face growing redder. He felt happy and self-conscious at the same time, surrounded by a bevy of bosomy bikini girls praising him like he was a shy schoolboy.

“Much better,” Melissa lauded, petting his shoulder and gracing him with that big dimpled smile of hers.

”Melissa, th-that was embarrassing,” he said, plainly, making us all purr in delight. The light of the TV screen silhouetted the shapely figures of Aubrey, Katie and the B-girls from behind, covering J with their shadow.

The room erupted with an “Awwwww..!” as I watched his vulni little eyes settle on his reflection in the glass pool doors. The TV gave off just enough light for him to see his shrunken little self - and I swear he was smaller now than he was this afternoon - surrounded by his big beautiful protectors on every side. He was seated in the middle, a little man on his girlfriend's lap, right where he belonged.

”Don´t think of it that way, sweetie,” Shanette giggled, “think of it as a lesson…”

“...and you just needed some help with it,” Josie chimed. 

“But I´m sure that, from now on, you will pay attention to what every woman says, right?” Melissa finished. She was sitting up straighter, now, and had pulled him slowly closer to her. I could see her eyes light up as he had moved closer to her right breast again. This whole exchange was so, like, enlightening. She obviously didn’t want him to feel as if he had no say in the matter. She wanted him to think that he had at least some power in this relationship of theirs, but she also needed him to know what’s what.

“We’re all excited to help you,” Lakshmi spoke, turning ever so slightly towards him on the couch, that big rear end of hers pivoting and causing something - springs in the sofa? - to groan.

“We want to keep you safe,” said Aubrey.

Melissa continued. ”Does that make you happy?” she asked, “Are you happy you have us, you have me to protect you?”

His voice cracked, adorably. ”s-SU-ure?” he answered, “Yes?” That caused the girls to titter and giggle excitedly, though I could tell he couldn’t make out what they were saying even as they were all - me included - drawing in closer to him. The whole place already looked like a big slumber party from some weird-ass porno.

”So tell me… why?” Melissa pressed. Their gazes were locked, intent on one another.

”Uhhh…” he began, searching for the right answer, “if someone tries to h-hurt me, you’d stop them?”

Melissa shook her head while her words came quickly. “Oh no no no,” she said, “If someone were to try to hurt you I wouldn’t just stop them. I’d absolutely murder them.”

When his smile changed we all felt the electricity. Her own excitement surged and we all began to warm slightly. He was picturing it, we could see, he was imagining what someone with the size and strength of Melissa could do to another human being, and it turned him on. Missy shivered, and needed to squirm her legs below him.

“We all would,” someone else said. I think it was Amelia, at first, but then the others joined in in chorus. 

“Yes, cutie…”

“You have us…”

“Your girl army…”

All our voices were echoing off the high ceilings, sounding louder and louder. I don’t know if the others were noticing it but I was watching him flinch.

“Your big pretty bodyguards…”

“We’d fucking kill them.”

Girls were laughing, and onscreen Black Widow was again arguing with Ant Man, who was complaining from deep inside her cleavage. The robots were crumpled and smoldering, beaten, but she still hadn’t unzipped. 

Melissa continued to smile, satisfied with the enthusiasm of her girls. ”What else?” she asked him, “What else are you happy about?” The smell of our perfumes, the chlorine in our wet hair, and the lingering tang of wasabi filled the room as we waited for him to answer.

”Uhhhh….” he began, struggling again under the attention of a dozen jigglebunnies. He knew there was a right answer, somewhere.

Josie spoke up to help. ”How about this, Dr. J…say this:” she began, “‘Now I don’t only have one girlfriend, I’ve got thirty…”

Lots of giggles.

”Th-thirty?” he stammered, looking over at Josie. 

”Haha yes!” Missy laughed, “Thirty girlfriends! You lucky little guy!”

“So lucky!”

“And soon we’re going to hire more,” Missy added.

“More girlfriends??” someone sang, “OOOOoooo YES!”

“Okay, Fifty!” Josie called.

“Sixty!” offered someone else.

“And the more of us there are..?” said Brittni.

“...the stronger we get?” finished Bobbi.

“A hundred!” called the redheaded Julia, who’d arrived an hour or so ago. She and a couple others were actually standing on the second-floor balcony above us, outside the bedrooms, watching from up there.

“A thousand!!” laughed Stephanie after her, also from the balcony. When’d she get here? I think there were three of our witchy friends up there, too.

Anyway, I felt it myself, for sure - this group of women swelling in strength, excited and energized. We were a unit, a hive, a family - and we were growing. So weird; three months ago you’d have never been able to convince me I’d be hanging out with some of these people. But now, look at all of us. Each one of us that joined the group just makes us bigger and better, makes her bigger and better. Is that what’s making Melissa so strong? I thought, The more of us there are, the more powerful she becomes? I’d seen her, in the parking lot just yesterday, casually pushing one of the construction guy’s pickup trucks out of the way. He’d parked it blocking in her beemer, and she moved the thing like it was nothing. 

“A million!”

Does she even realize it?

There was the patter of strong footsteps as several more girls came in from the kitchen, bare feet and high heels, both. Silvia, Nadia and Kori were here now, and had been swimming and looking for wine in the fridge. Bessie had also arrived, still in her BOOMfood uniform and pumps. Among everyone, the growing, giddy crowd, Missy seemed to draw all light and attention to herself. Look at her, I remember thinking, seeing her holding him so small on her lap, I fucking love her.

“A million girlfriends, Jay, how does that sound?” Missy laughed, “Could you handle all those kisses?”

The girls loved that, and we all smushed in closer. The movie still played, and with the doors out to the pool now left open you could hear the sound of the hot tub from outside the room. The floor was damp in places and there were warmly wet towels everywhere, left by the few who had not fully dried their hair. Some of us - oh yeah, me haha - had their towel around their waist.

“We need you, sweetie, to start getting used to having as much physical contact with the girls as possible,” Missy continued, as the pile of girls swarmed in closer still, some crawling onto the couch, across the ground, gathering towards him with the sofa pillows they had brought to sit on the floor, “It’ll help you bond.”

“Yes, bonding. Lots of bonding,” Shanette cooed, pressing her big breasts together in her overmatched blue bikini, causing his eyes to goggle.  

“I’m going to need my good morning hug every morning,” Josie offered, pushing a pillow up alongside him, between him and the back of the couch.

“Me too, and a good morning kiss,” said Katie, also adding a pillow to support him and leaning in to smooch him on the lips. 

“Bonding…” Shanette cooed again. 

“Everyone will need their good morning hug, and their good morning kiss when they come into the office, okay Jay?” Missy charged, watching his eyes follow Katie’s chest up and then rivet to her brilliant smile as she pushed back her thick blond hair.

“Yes lots of physical contact,” I said, moving in myself towards him seeing how hard he obviously was, with a tent pulling the thin blanket up off his hips, “Let’s try it out…” 

At that I scootched in for my own kiss, my mouth opening wide - though not nearly as wide as haha I could open it - to take his own. The girls were building pillows around him, attempting to make him even more comfortable as I could taste Katie’s cherry chapstick on his lips. I added my own lipstick to his face, my mauveness, smearing it on him. How do you like that flavor, boy? I then heard him grunt, feeling the surprise when he realized the size of my mouth. I chuckled thinking about how he’d react if he realized I could probably swallow his whole fucking head if I wanted. I grabbed his cock through the throw blanket, and we all heard him groan, everyone giggling as his body tensed into spasm.

“Who’s the best kisser, Dr. J?” I asked, giving him another quick peck, this time right between the eyes. Then I licked him up his face, chin-to-nose-to-forehead. “Me?”

“No no no you have to try us all!” Josie squealed, suddenly leaning in aside me to plant her own lips on his. His eyes had closed, so he couldn’t see how her hair, in the strange way it had started to do over the past week, began to swirl and curl, with a movement of its own. One strand reached out towards me, one towards him, caressed his face.

I sat back and Missy, for her part, just watched and smiled as the entire crowd of us moved in for kisses. His face, I could see, was quickly coated with smears of lipstick, the sheen of glosses, pink and red and shiny. Aubrey, Lakshmi, Brittni and Bobbi. Amelia and Katarina and Shanette. Even the new girls Silvia and Kori and Bessie and the rest got in there, everyone taking their turns on his lips, settling for his cheeks and neck and shoulders, back and belly when needed. He was a-glob with lipstick, all over his body, the girls sitting back to apply more to themselves, to each other, when others slid in to take their place on him and his skin. The blanket, which had been across his hips, was gone. If he’d had on shorts or anything underneath those were gone too, and now it was cock, all cock. Huge throbbing cock again, nearly ten inches of it rising from his weak-ass skeleton. As we kissed him - I’d gone in for seconds, thirds - hands were on him, now. The other girls were cooing and clucking, groaning and texting and taking selfies and group pics with him swimming in his harem, drowning in their lipstick, trying to stay afloat as our mouths sucked him into our depths. In all his glory he was now only weakly twitching and he would have long ago collapsed and flopped over were it not for us all, for the pillows around him, and for Missy’s strength holding him up from behind. She, in fact, finally eased us all away to allow him breath, while we all writhed alongside him, buzzing and squealing. She turned him, gently, pivoting him at the hips and - his chin in hand - took him in for a kiss of her own.

If you’ve never seen a man’s brain melt, it’s quite the fucking sight.

Missy drew him into the kiss, and I could see how his jaw stretched and his eyes widened as she was pushing her huge tongue into him. She moved it around his mouth, down towards his throat, claiming her territory and then, drawing breath herself, began pulling the air from within him. His eyes began to flutter closed. She wanted to take him deeper into herself to make him closer to her. Just as I’d felt the pull, the instinct to eat him, the want to suck him right into me, I could see Melissa was struggling with the same hunger. She wanted him. She wanted all of him. She wanted to suck out all his brains along with his come and all his manhood, leaving him a dribbling pathetic husk. She didn’t want to kill him, she wanted him alive to hug and cuddle and care for. But she would take his breath away. She would control his breathing, filling him with her own oxygen and keeping him alive at her whim. Haha she wanted to do more - I could see, I could fucking see how she wanted to just be able to open her mouth wider and wider and wider and just YOMP - but she wasn’t quite that big yet. What she could do is fucking suck the life out of him if she wasn’t careful, and so she released the kiss before he began to suffer any real discomfort.

“C’mon, Daddy,” she urged, “Come for us...”

The other girls, too, cooed their encouragements. I was chiming in myself, my lips the closest to his left ear. 

“Let’s go, you little shit,” I sneered into him, as my mouth all but ate up his ear, “come for us again.”

I was in his left ear, Lakshmi had moved into his right, both of us were purring and slurping and tonguing his brain. Others were between his knees, sliding lips up thighs and around his sac. Hands caressed arms, slid over chest and shoulders. Still Josie stroked him, as Melissa gazed into his failing eyes. 

“Go ahead, Jay, it’s okay,” she said, giving him permission. This was her boyfriend, her new man, the love of her life, and she haha was willing to share. We were all his, and he was all ours. “Give yourself to them, Jay, I want you to…”

“Come for us,” we hissed.

“Come for us now,” I said.

My smile grew so huge around his ear when, yes, finally, we all felt him shudder and collapse, like a dying fucking beast underneath us all, this pride of lionesses. When he finally came the girls - and me, and Melissa - all sang his name and Josie pumped and pumped and pumped. We watched him wither, we watched his jaw fall open and his head bob like a marionette on his neck. Though he’d climaxed countless times today, come still rocketed from his dick in gushes and fell onto his chest, into my hair and Lakshmi’s. And then, as she still pumped, Josie sat up straighter and drew his eyes to her tits. She pulled back her shoulders, thrust her big breasts out, straining straining straining at the top of her bikini and waiting waiting waiting for - oh god, there it was, there it fucking was - the warmth, the strength, the power that swelled and there it was she knew it, we all knew it - we were all just about to-

Josie’s top burst, her bikini snapping apart. Her tits ballooned outwards, and Missy began to laugh as he moaned an ‘oh my god’ in the weakest, most pathetically male voice you could imagine. She had  begun to grow, we had begun to grow, all around him, visibly. He was watching us and he was watching us fucking grow. Staring at Josie’s burgeoning tits and the swirls of her hair dancing about her shoulders, he was staring into his future and feeling his world close in all around him. “Get ready little man,” I whispered into his ear, “your girls are going to eat you alive…”

========================================

thanks in huge gobs to ResistanceIsFutile for his inspiration, contributions to atmosphere and editing on this one.  I’m also using brother Beetlebomb’s render of Dr J…again.

[p-4in]

BULLY! (yandere) YUTA OKKOTSU X OC

Ando Yue, Ando clan’s pride and joy at one point. Ando clan was known for strong and beautiful women. Sure, they weren’t there with the top 3 clans, but they were still a threat if on the wrong side. Some women born in the clan had special powers, they could fly, teleport, telepathically converse with people, sense danger and otherworldly presences and what not. In Yue’s case, she landed all of these. She was strong, but such power comes at a price. Yue never knew her father, her mother died when she was very young as she was a big target, so for Yue’s protection, she was sent to live with her grandmother. She was forbidden from ever showcasing her actual powers, her grandmother had already lost a jewel, she didn’t want to lose another one. Of course she did go to jujutsu high, but never could succeed as much as she wanted due to restriction. Her favourite sensei, Gojo Satoru knew this, he knew everything about her, so he never forced her to do anything. She was very awkward in her class, she didn’t get along with her other four classmates being maki, panda, toge and lastly, Yuta Okkotsu. He was very strong, well why wouldn’t he, he was related to Gojo to some degree. Because of this, he was on a mission overseas. Yuta hated her guts, he could feel that she was a fake, she was faking something, he knew, and it made him despise her. He could feel the strong aura from her, yet she acted dumb and acted like she was some loser, those nerdy glasses she’d wear, the silly books she’d always hold in her hands to read rather than train, he hated it. Meanwhile, Yue knew this, even when charmed by his looks, she knew that he didn’t like her, so she didn’t even try. There was something so sinister about him, there was darkness in his eyes, that only she could see. As soon as Yuta went away, Yue’s grandmother passed away, breaking her apart. She didn’t have anyone stopping her, so she showed her true colours, her true power, and she wasn’t the same weird nerd anymore, she changed into a more revenge driven maniac, all in her head of course. Though she presented normal traits to people, except for the fact that she hid her true powers, everyone thought she was okay. Her sensei knew what she had turned into, so he would give her friendly advices at times which helped her. After her grandmother, Gojo acted as a parental figure to her, and she appreciated him a lot.

A year passed and Yue was at the top of her game, she could even do solo missions now. Though, she didn’t know that someone came back, and he didn’t know the major changes either. So, when finding out that the loser girl had climbed the ranks, it drove him crazy.

“Sensei….” Yuta spoke.

“Is there anything I can do while i’m here?”

“Well….” Gojo hummed and thought about anything in store for his prized student.

“Oh, Yue’s in Kyoto investigating some serial killer curse or something, apparently a lot of women have been found dead there, so shes gone to investigate, you should see if she needs some assistance.” All the odds were in Yuta’s favour, he can finally see what’s all this fuss that’s around Yue.

When he went to Kyoto, it was 9pm, streets were busy, he thought about where to find his prime suspect, but it didn’t take much time as he could sense a large amount of cursed energy from the forest. He went there to check and saw her. She was mercilessly stabbing the half human, half monster looking thing in the back as he screamed for mercy. The finish was so satisfying, it pissed him off even more. Yue lost her balance afterwards and fell on the ground herself. She hadn’t slept since she got to Kyoto, that being a week. She was exhausted, her head was throbbing and aching.

“Never expected you to be so brave.” That voice, it shook Yue to the core. She didn’t even have the courage to look behind her. The sound of his footsteps freaked her out, he was nearing her.

“That’s so much power you have there, I sensed it from the station, I’m impressed.” He chuckled. He came in front of her and saw her distressed state. She looked like she had seen a ghost, and the visible tiredness made her look pathetic too.

“What’s wrong? Did I scare you?” He asked oh so innocently.

“It’s just me Ando, what’s wrong?” He crouched down to her and smiled so nicely, he seemed so innocent, but Yue knew that wasn’t it.

“N-nothing, I-I just- didn’t expect you to b-be here.” She replied with a smile, a forced smile.

“I didn’t expect you to finally crack either, I knew you were lying, but still, didn’t expect you to come this far.” He cupped her cheek. His touch made chills go down her spine.

Yue awkwardly chuckled and politely removed his hand from her cheek. She told him that she was drained due to no rest and wanted to sleep. She hesitantly stood up as Yuta stayed in his position, looking at her with a sweet smile. He hummed in response and Yue bowed and started going in an opposite direction. She was scared. He definitely came with ulterior motives, perhaps to kill her. At least that’s what she thought.

“I should teleport with the little energy I have left…” Yue thought and performed the act. In seconds, she vanished.

“Rika …” Yuta called, maintaining that eerie smile.

“Go get our friend back.” With that, Rika moved after Yue. Since Yue didn’t have enough energy, she didn’t teleport far, but at least it was a head-start?? Rika found her immediately running in the woods. She immediately went after her and grabbed both of her arms , restraining her.

“ WHY DID YOU RUN?????” Rika screamed.

“WHY.”

“WHY.”

“WHY.”

Rika kept screaming as she was taking Yue back to Yuta. Yue kept pleading and begging Rika to let her go, but she only did once they reached Yuta. She dropped her on the ground. Only thing in Yue’s vision was his shoes.

“How pathetic can you get Yue??” Yuta asked in a demanding tone.

“At least you know your place.” Yuta was pleased to know that she wasn’t dumb enough to fight him, she knows she stands no chance. Yuta used the Inumaki’s clan technique to put her to sleep. He was so glad he knew this, the things he could make her do. He was so excited.

He threw her over his shoulder and left for Tokyo. After that, Yue began acting like a human doll because she was in Yuta’s control, he’d make her feed him food, dance like a lifeless ballerina, it was so much fun for him.

“Yue, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me since Rika. I never knew I could be capable of love after Rika, but you’re exactly my type. Strong, absolutely stunning, and so…. obedient. You’ll be the best wife ever!!” He cupped Yue’s cheek as she sat down to feed him. Tears started coming out of her eyes, she was trying to fight his spell. This enraged Yuta, he decided to go for stronger set of words.

“Yue, say that I own you and your mind.” Yue’s tears stopped, and her eyes left any small amounts of life and light it had.

“Yuta-kun, you own me and my mind.” Yue emotionlessly spoke.

“Yue, say that you love me.” Yuta demanded.

“Yuta-kun…. I-I….” Yue stopped. This drove Yuta crazy.

“Yue, say. that. you. love. me.” Yuta aggressively demanded.

“Yuta-kun, I love you.” Yuta chuckled, his mood went back to normal.

“Who do you belong to, Yue?”

“I belong to you, Yuta-kun.”

“Who’s my little doll, Yue?”

“I’m your little doll, Yuta-kun.”

“Good girl.” Yuta cupped hee cheeks and oh so lovingly pecked her lips.

[calzone-d]

Mild Misunderstandings (part two)

a/n: you can find part one to this story here! emotional ted really tugs at my heart, y’all. someone please love this man. 

pairing: Ted Lasso x Fem!reader

warnings: mentions of divorce

word count: 1.5k

find my masterlist here!

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You went to the bedroom you shared with Ted to put your pajamas on and get ready for bed. It was only 9pm but you were exhausted. There wasn’t a single part of you looking forward to sleeping in the guest bedroom, you had grown so accustomed to sleeping next to Ted. At the same time, though, you didn’t have the mental energy to argue. 

On your walk to the guest bedroom, you heard Ted mumbling to himself about the plays being off. Deep down, you felt bad for him, but you also know that isn’t a reason to give you the third degree. 

This whole fiasco was so unlike the kind, thoughtful man you had grown to love. It had been a hard week. The season had just started, and everyone knows it’s always best to start on top when possible. Michelle had been difficult with the two of you when trying to plan Henry’s trip to visit over Christmas vacation, claiming she wanted to see him for the holidays as well. This frustrated both you and Ted, who shared a deep love for the Lasso boy, and were looking forward to your two-weeks with him. All of this combined created a lack of sleep for Ted, who had spent the last few nights up tossing and turning.

Still, Ted was always so quick to at least try and talk things out before getting snappy. You were under your own stress and were looking for comfort from your husband. Something you had grown very used to. 

Trying to calm your thoughts, you put your favorite sitcom on as you settled into bed. Before falling asleep, you shopped online for Christmas presents to give Henry, still ecstatic over seeing him, regardless of how long he was there. As your eyes grew heavy, you plugged your phone into its charger and pulled the blanket up to your chin. Tears pricked your eyes as you thought about Ted and longed for the comfort you were looking for. Maybe he’d be in a better mood in the morning, at least he had this weekend off.

The feeling of weight shifting on the bed woke you up from your sleep. Your eyes squinted open to find Ted sitting criss-cross on top of the duvet, flannel pajama pants on, a white t-shirt, messy hair, and tired tear-filled eyes. It was still dark outside, and the clock read 3:43am. The lamp he turned on was hurting your eyes, shocking you into a state of quiet.

“Y/N, I’m sorry”, his voice croaked. He sniffled before continuing, “The way I’ve been acting ain’t fair at all, not one bit. I’m just so stressed, A-and I’m scared that-”, he had to take a deep breath to stop the tears from falling.

 “I’m scared that you’ll see all these problems and want to leave. Which, sheesh, I wouldn’t blame you one bit. Christmas is just always hard for me anyway, and then adding the thought of you leavin’ on top of that is just, bad. It’s real bad, Y/N.”

By now a few tears had escaped his eyes and you took note of the way his fingers twisted around each other. He didn’t give you a moment to speak before continuing, “This is our first Christmas together, and I love all the wonderful things about Christmas but It just feels like there’s so much more at stake in my life now.” 

You nodded at him to continue. “It wasn’t great when Michelle left, and that Christmas was lonely as I’ll get out, but you leaving?”, he sniffled some more while shaking his head. “Th-that would break me, Y/N. It wouldn’t be the same by any measure.”

Now you were sitting across from him, a gentle hand on his knee.

 “Ted, I know it’s scary. Shit, the idea of you leaving me is scary too. But that’s not a reason to shut me out or give me the cold shoulder. I’d rather talk this out with you any day then spend our time dancing around each other and sleeping in different beds.”

“Sometimes, I think that when I get real scared about something, I feel like if I shut it out then I’m preparing myself for if it happens. Tryin’ to protect myself, I guess.”

“Ted, I’m your partner. You don’t need to protect yourself from me. I’m here to work through these things with you, I know they’re not easy to talk about, but these tough conversations just have to happen sometimes.”

“I know that, but I’ve seen what these tough conversations can turn into, and the thought o-of that happenin’ with you is too much. I can’t handle that, Y/N. I-I can’t.”, he choked out as a sob found its way through his lips. Scooting over beside him, you pulled him into your arms, and his head immediately went to the place between your shoulder and neck. 

Ted’s hands grabbed fists full of your sleep shirt, his body shaking as he sobbed into your neck. His tears were hot against your neck. You used one hand to soothingly rub his back while the other cradled his head, holding him tight against you as you shushed him. 

You know his divorce left him scarred, and that was something you couldn’t really relate to. You had never been through a divorce before. All you could do was try to reason with his anxious thoughts.

Allowing him a moment to let it out, you drew patterns on his back and made sure he was breathing evenly.

“Ted, our marriage is our marriage. And that’s what makes it so wonderful. It’s full of love, and trust, and support. I love you for every single thing that you are, and that isn’t changing. I can’t think of anything I may have said or done to make you feel like I have any intention of leaving you but-” 

He was quick to shake his head against you, “You haven’t”.

“I’m here, Ted. I’m here and that won’t change. There’s going to be times where it feels like all you have is problems, but I’m here to card through those with you and do damage control. Not to leave. We work as a team, honey. I married you because I love you exactly the way you are, not because I think you don’t have problems. I mean, have you smelled your feet? Whew. If we’re talking problems that’s at the top of my list.”

This elicited a chuckle from him. You smiled as you continued, “I love you, Ted. I love you, and Henry, and your problems, and his problems, and anything else that may pop up. We’re a family and we work through these things together, okay?”

He nodded against your neck before pulling away with hands still full of your sleep shirt as if he was afraid you’d disappear into the night. His sleepy, tear-filled chocolate eyes met yours and your heart broke for him a tiny bit more. 

“I love you too. It wasn’t right of me to treat you that way, you’ve got your own things goin’ on, too. You’re right, we do get over things together and tomorrow I’ll catch up on my share of the housework.”, you nodded as he spoke. “I never, ever meant to make you feel alone, or isolated.”

The crease between his eyebrows was prominent, and you couldn’t miss the bags forming under his eyes as they met yours. 

“I know it wasn’t your intention, Ted. I forgive you. And as good as I am at reading that mind of yours, sometimes I only know what you tell me. If you don’t tell me these things, I don’t really have a way of knowing that’s what’s going on”

Ted was silent for a few moments and nervously chewed his lip. “I think it may be good for me to, uh, call up the doc. Maybe set somethin’ up with her.”, he looked down as he spoke, fidgeting with loose threads on the duvet.

Smiling proudly at him, you pulled him back in for another hug, “I think that’s a great idea, love.” 

He squeezed you tight and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, “How about we take a hot shower then go crawl back in our bed. We can sleep in, and give Henry a ring after some breakfast?”

Your suggestion was met with a nod and tired smile. “Sounds good, Darlin’”.

In the shower, Ted held you tightly against him as he let the warm water calm his nerves. You were there, you were you, and you loved him. You showed him that every day in so many ways. Your marriage was special, and unique, and he knew he didn’t have to fear being himself. 

Ted gently washed your hair for you and looked at you like you’d hung the moon as he spread your bodywash across your body. He washed you with care, eternally grateful that you found your way to him and Richmond. Grateful that you loved him unconditionally. He would spend every moment making sure you knew how loved you were if that’s what you needed.

Before you washed him, he used his hands to cradle your head for a deep kiss. You could feel the week’s stress and tension in it, wishing you could take it all away. 

You bumped your nose against his and mirrored the smile he gave you. 

“Always gonna love you, Ted.”

Thanks for reading!

[simcatcher-ts2]

In a nutshell:

i forgot to turn jaloosy off (oops, my bad!) so ACR let Timu flirt with Vhra right in front of Iva. let's say she made it right right away, and Timu's cheek will keep an everlasting memory of that moment.

-also i checked if Vhra was interested in woohooing him, given the circumstances, turns out she's not, proof top right of the screen. lmao basically he's all yours Iva you can keep him!-

Poor kids (Iva ans Timu's twins from legit 8 years ago) couldn't bear the sight of their parents fighting. Jealousy's off now though.

That's some hard, unprocessed feelings over there.

'Oh hey there, pretty. don't mind my woman over there yeah? Hello.'

i just had to make it right and cheat, because... technically they're not married and that's where i usually draw the line. makes you think, the sims making it legit to throw a tantrum (and a pair of slaps) at your crush for cheating on you.

Iva still had to go hunting to clear her head though.

She left as Rhan came back, empty-handed but in a good mood from that body point she gained. Yay girl!

Iva gone, Timu gave in to temptation, giving way to a -very glitchy- woohoo session.

That's how you do it!... Or is it?...

at least one of them has a big smile plastered on their face.

uh oh!

conveniently enough, Iva arrived a minute after the deed was done- and because silly me only turned jealousy down a fair while later, i can proudly say she's just the same amount of mad as she was when she left! Also she came back empty-handed too.

i have to learn what to do with kids when they're home all day cause... i'm not used to having them around at all times. The painter's Hapu, btw, and the other's Kiya. I like to emphasize that they both were born in game 8 years ago, which makes them 8 irl, which is not too far from their ingame age. Pardon my ramble i should go to bed.

All my - and their- energy was then directed on: fixing their feelingsTM. And!... tadaa!

friends!

aaand she didn't turn that hug down. good thing, i thought!

Why am i so shallow. The whole household was starving out, think i'm in need for a priority check. Once these two made peace i realized removing the social worker was an excellent idea. All needs in red and all, kids and grownups alike.

i, humble simgod, had to take action.

So i took Vhra to the Gatherer's Garden -or whatever i named this lot- so she could fill her pockets with berries and/or vegetables and legit save her clan from starvation, thanks to the great mods at the PlumbobKeep! Bestest of plan.

ô genuine, demure me. Of course nothing was yet harvestable, but because i am indeed resourceful, i had her fish the night away.

She caught 3, fell a couple times and all of a sudden, it was 5am.

When she's back home it'll be 9PM of the previous day, thanks to game logic >:) I sure would make a good use of these few hours. Feeding my starving family, for starters.

Que nenni. Totally forgot i had this mod installed, so the sims would get back home at the exact time they left the community lot.

I had a popup telling me sth along the lines of, 'Vhra is due at home in 9h' and i was like qué? she preggers??! did i miss more than just a cheek caress? (that'd tote justify Iva's burst in my book)

Turns out she was not (that i know of at last), and there would be no sight of Vhra for the next 9h. SO the household was basically left to starve, to death. To think Vhra had not less than 3 fishes in her pockets... sigh.

To kill time, i bought a fruit each (cheaaaatttt i knowwww well i'm just getting used to playing again ok? what if they were all dead, would that make you happy? Me, NO) and saved the day.

So, to kill time... >;)

Well she REJECTED him! after all the cheating and resetting i put them through to save their relationship- well actually THAT'S ON YOU TIMU! You unfaithful piece of pixel.

So that's when the game crashed.

See you next ;)

[khaleesiofalicante]

I think i have signed up to do too many non-academic school things and obviously I can’t drop any of them (not just because I committed but also because i do actually enjoy all of it. I dropped one thing because i was overwhelmed just to replace it with another thing two days later)

I had possibly the most intense day ive had at school so far and im really scared

It was one of those days that by the time i got to bed (now) i barely doubt how productive i was cause i was straight up working from 10am until 9pm

I do enjoy the things ive signed up for and they look good on a resume but i still have classes and im so scared of when the work gets heavy. My friends say this is how people get burnt out and i think they might have a point but like- i dont wanna drop anything. Clearly im too obsessed with how much in doing and never feel like im doing enough but rationally i dont wanna push myself over a limit cause i still have 5 semesters (2 1/2 years) of uni left.

Idk what the point of this ask is but i dont have the brainpower to figure it out. Hewlp. Any advice ig? Tell me pretty words that’ll at least momentarily make me feel better :(

Love you ♡

Hey Asterin ♡,

First off, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds exhausting, and I know how tough it is to juggle academics with all the extracurriculars. And yeah, there does come a point where it impacts your health, and things start slipping on both ends.

I’m really glad you’ve recognized there’s a problem—that’s huge. Realizing you’re doing too much and acknowledging it’s difficult is the first step. But I have to gently disagree with you on one thing: you said you obviously can’t drop any of them. I don’t think that’s true. You can drop something - it’s just super hard to do.

Now, here’s the part where I give you some not-so-pretty words, even though you asked for pretty ones. Sometimes you’ve got to do the hard things to make sure things don’t get worse. I don’t know how many activities you’re involved in or how important they all are, but I can assure you that some are less crucial than others. Some things aren’t absolutely necessary. You can get back to them later in life or after school. But if you keep pushing yourself, what you love doing might start feeling like a chore. Burnout makes it hard to enjoy the things you’re passionate about, and getting that love back isn’t always easy.

You said you're scared to let go of things. Do it knowing you can always pick it up later. When you let go of something, it’s not over and done with. You can always go back to it, especially in this case. Letting go now so you can return when you feel better isn’t selfish - it’s self-care.

The world won’t fall apart because you gave up one thing. There will always be more things to fall in love with, and more things to enjoy, but to do that, you need to be healthy and not overwhelmed.

And I cannot emphasize this enough: quality over quantity, Asterin. Nobody cares how many clubs you were part of - they care about what you achieved in them. It’s better to pick one thing and master it than try to juggle a thousand things.

You don’t want to be the girl who did everything; you want to be the girl who was amazing at that particular thing. Find out what that thing is, and make it your own.

Pick one or two things, make them your own, and pour all your time and passion into them. You don’t have infinite energy, so be wise about where you invest it.

Sending you all the love and strength to make the tough choices. You’ve got this, and I’m here for you ♡.

[littlestsnicket]

it’s wednesday it’s sprint board update time! 2/4 tasks complete last week, not great but it’s ok.

retro/planning/vague ramblings under the cut

so, one of the sprint tasks last week was write something, and i was staring at the doc on my phone telling myself ‘you just need to write like two sentences and you can call this task complete’ and i couldn’t make myself do it.

part of the point of this exercise is to harness the ridiculous amount of joy i get from checking off task lists or moving sticky notes around, so if that’s not enough to make me want to do something, i’m not going to force myself. this is a hobby after all. but it is quite frustrating. i want to want to write this fic so badly (which is unfortunately a distinctly different feeling from actually wanting to write the fic) but it’s not working.

the plan, as can be seen from the updated sprint plan, is to write some tangentially related meta in the hope that it will inspire me, and if it doesn’t i’ll just fill out move on to something else next week. i *will* come back to this, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for literal years (years longer than the yendelion fic), a few more weeks/months isn’t that big of a difference.

it’s not like i can’t write at all, i very much did write and post a other scavengers reign drabble this week. it’s just this fic that is resisting coming together.

and i’ve been keeping up with the fic rec challenge! i keep forgetting about that when i’m trying to account for my creative energy and even though i’ve given myself permission to just put these out there and not try to sell it to hard, it’s still quite a lot of mental effort. (especially dredging these stories out of my fairly scattered memory and then physically finding them cause i don’t actually bookmark stuff very much.)

i had also meant to spend a chunk of time going over my notes and planning last night, but instead i ended up at a queer cabaret event at a hyper-local (like 15 minute walk from my house) brewery (i didn’t know this was happening and had meant to meet a coworker for a drink and then because i was intrigued by the cabaret and the taco truck, i was there until 9pm), and i have no regrets. (except for consuming any amount of alcohol in this heat, but i drank enough fluids afterwards and felt fine by the morning so i don’t *really* regret that either.)

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

For several hours after taking a dose, Paxlovid has my mouth tasting nothing but yuck unless I have something yummy in my mouth. I have no means to go and get a pack of gum. Bleh. Yuck yuck yuck.

Another side effect is I'm periodically very confused and wandering around the house, so I'm guess my epilepsy isn't playing well with the medicine. Still taking it though. The alternative is to let Covid19 go hog wild in my body. Did that last year, not doing it again.

It's not even 9PM, I have no energy, and been fighting sleep since waking up at 8AM. Hmm...bedtime it is.

Please wear a fucking mask. You will be saving not only your life, but the lives around you. Momentary discomfort is preferable to permanent fuckery, including death.

[anoctoberpepper]

Fifa and Twisted Teas (Grant & Nick)

Grant’s in the middle of cooking a 9pm dinner when his phone screams to life. His, usually set-to-silent unless there’s an emergency, phone. He scrambles for it to see a call coming in hot from Nick. 

“What’s up?” Grant rushes to turn off the stove, and starts heading for his gear neatly hung under a sheet by the door. He’s panicked until he hears Nick’s raspy singing.

“Can I crash at your house tonight. You’re house tonight, you’re house toniiggghhhhtttt. tonighhhhtttt,” Nick’s been on an X-Ambassador kick, apparently. 

“Nicki, this is an emergency line,” Grant reminds. 

“You didn’t answer my text.” 

Grant pulls his phone away from his face and sees that exactly thirty seconds ago Nick texted those exact same song lyrics to him.

“It’s an emergency meeting of the queer committee minus Terry and the aces,” Nick says, as a ridiculous explanation. Grant doesn’t have it in him to explain again how wrong Nick is. Lark’s screwed his way across the city, and Terry still won’t call himself bisexual despite the high-school thing. Grant certainly doesn’t have the energy to go against the unstoppable force that Nick is when he wants to hang out. Grant looks at his pot of cooking perogies, the salad he made up. 

“Are you hungry?” Grant asks. He made enough for dinner and lunch the next day, he could easily feed Nick.

“Ah, hell yeah.” Nick pauses then asks, “is there peppermint in it?” “No” “Even more awesome. I’ll be up there in a sec.” 

Before Grant can even hang up his phone there’s a crack in the living room and the scent of sulfur and Christmas spices. 

“I have arrived!” Nick walks into Grant’s tiny kitchen triumphantly holding Twisted teas and an ancient copy of Left for Dead, two things Grant likes, but he’s less sure that Nick does. Apparently the guy is going with his default programing of doing whatever he thinks the other person wants to do. Years spent copying his dad and other boys until he was seamlessly one of them, then more years trying to remember which dad to follow fully wrecked his sense of himself. The guy doesn’t know who he is let alone what he likes. It kills Grant to see it. 

“What brings you to this side of hell?” Grant asks. He pulls an iron skillet from a cabinet and sets it on the stove to warm. Chops some onions. Of all the things his dad is good at, cooking is one of them, and he didn’t let Grant leave the house without knowing several solid recipes. 

Grant sees the flicker in Nick’s eyes, the momentary calculation of him trying to remember which timeline to live in, which person he wants to inhabit.

“Dads are fighting,” Nick says. 

“Damn,” Grant says, not for the first time. He puts the onions in possibly too much oil, makes a face then adds more oil. He’s not that good of a cook. 

Nick sets the teas on the counter, followed by the game. 

“Figured you wanted to do video game night,” Nick says. 

“Or we could go out,” Grant counters, harmlessly poking at other options. Things Nick might finally glom onto as his own. “See some music. I heard Force to Reckon With is playing downtown.” Nick had showed some passing interest in the band a few months ago. Nick goes into buffering mode at the suggestion. Grant stirs the onions.

“How about food and you get to pick the video game?” Grant negotiates himself down. 

“Games are good,” Nick says. It’s something.

“Go look through my X box,” Grant says, “I finally got holographic guitar hero. Thought you might like to play it sometime.” “Nah,” Nick says. “Why goof around when I can play the real thing.” “Because it’s fun,” Grant says, silently happy that Nick at least has that opinion in his pocket. Grant dabbled with guitar at the tail end of high school thinking it would subtly get someone’s attention. He still prefers guitar hero though. 

Nick wanders into the next room, and Grant hears his tv hum to life. He finishes with the onions, fries the pierogies, still doesn’t hear anything from the living room. He plates everything, considers adding an insulting spring of peppermint on top just to mess with Nick. Doesn’t.

When he gets to the living room, Nick is still scrolling through the games. There aren’t as many as Grant would like, he’s working on a senior-in-college shoestring budget, but there’s a good selection.

“Have you at least narrowed it down?” Grant asks. 

Nick flicks back and forth between Fifa and Halo. That’s something at least, Grant thinks. 

“How about fifa,” he compromises again, making choices he knows Nick can’t. 

Nick smiles wide, “love it.” Grant hands him a plate, nods back toward the ratty couch. “Fifa and Twisted Teas it is.”

[rainy-astrology]

Hello could you do a chart analysis reading for nct dream? They debuted on august 25, 2016 at 9pm.

Sorry this took awhile lol. I've never done one for the group itself, but I gave this a try. I put Seoul for the birth place since SM is located there.

I might come back to change this later

___

NCT Dream Birth Chart Analysis

August 25th, 2016

9 PM

Seoul, SK

☀️♍️, 🌙♊️, ⬆️♈️

LOTS of Virgo and Mercury energy. Virgo is in Sun (5th house), Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and North Node in the 6th house. A Virgo stellium seeks perfectionism and stability, seeks to be independent and self sufficient.

Mercury Virgo is a domicile placement. Analytical, logical, and observant with an eye for detail. In 6th house, the traits of Virgo are a lot more emphasized as 6th house is ruled by Virgo.

Venus Virgo is in fall. Venus Virgo is a bit detached and may display a cold/flat front. In 6th, Venus wants to help and serve others. A compassionate and kind placement usually.

Jupiter Virgo is in detriment. Jupiter is a generally open minded and understanding planet, a bit carefree as well. Virgos are very critical though and perfectionistic, which goes against Jupiter. Jupiter in 6th wants to do meaningful work

North Node Virgo in 6th house theme centers on service and health, work as well. This placement wants to be more organized and detailed in order to reach goals. Be realistic.

Virgo Sun and Gemini moon is an analytical, detail oriented combo due to the double Mercury energy. Perfectionistic. The two square each other in the chart, implying a push and pull between what the mind wants vs the heart. Maybe Dream wants to do something else, but given they are under a contract and have a set theme and target audience, they can't achieve their actual goals as a group.

Sun in 5th house indicates themes of creativity, children, and fun, all very prominent in their music videos and group. NCT Dream is made up of the younger members (all debuted around 14-16) and their music videos are often quite colorful and experimental, all having the fun and childish vibe to them.

Uranus in 1st adds more to their experimental styles. I've seen people be 50/50 with Dream's style - it's either new and cool or questionable and weird. They're constantly changing though, trying their best to do something eye catching every comeback.

Mars and Saturn in 8th puts a lot of serious focus onto their work and passions, money and possessions. These placements + 6th house stellium indicates being hard working and driven for their career and money. I know it is especially true for Mark and Haechan (iirc there's an article detailing all of the things Haechan has done. His career journey is very impressive, especially at such a young age.)

Moon in 2nd has a need for financial security as it gives them safety and relief. Can be materialistic

Grand Square/Cross between all mutable placements (sun virgo opp neptune pisces, moon gemini opp mars and saturn sagittarius)...Since it's a Mutable Grand Cross, it gives Dream the ability to adapt well and be flexible. The few downsides would be having a lack of focus, a bit of scatterbrained energy.

Aries Rising suits them. They are made up of the youngest NCT members and Aries is considered the "baby" soul of the zodiac since it starts first. Youthful appearance, youthful spirit.

Capricorn MC is a placement of hard work and determination. Dream are still young now, but they are slowly maturing both mentally and physically, eventually fitting into their Capricorn MC vibe. They're already pretty hardworking people; they will likely grow further into their careers and present themselves in a more mature, serious way later.

Overall, I think there's a need to be more organized and detail oriented. To be of service for others...Dream were kids when they debuted, now are young adults, so they're slowly maturing mentally and physucally. Maybe they want to help their audiencs grow in those ways as well. Perhaps there's a message or story in their music videos? I'm not the biggest fan of Dream, so I'm just making a small guess

[permanentconundrum]

10/04/23

I’ve decided I want to get faster at writing so I am going to blog a few days and try to make a practice of it. I worked on my writer resume tonight. It’s already 9pm. I am kind of tired. Listening to old school indie music. Still no job yet, since August 2022. It might be weird to go back to work. I’ll need to make sure I can wake up early. Read a little philosophy this afternoon. I should check the news in the NYT. I haven’t been paying close attention recently. I talked to a recruiter about a few jobs but they don’t pay great. In the first half of 2022 I started looking at work because I wanted to take the next step. Now I’m taking a step back perhaps. That’s what happens when you don’t work for over a year. I have had time for poetry though. That’s been good. I hope to finish some poems. Read some sad poems in the October issue of Poetry Magazine, but I think poetry is a great place for difficult topics. Reminds me to pray for others, and know someone somewhere is having a difficult time. You aren’t alone in this. I think it’s important to remember those who are suffering. You aren’t alone in this. I kind of want to look at art more. I want to read more too. I read some last night, the October issue of Poetry. The Decemberists are on the radio. I’m thinking about how to manage myself so that I don’t run myself out of energy. Sometimes you need to not use all your energy in one activity so you can focus elsewhere as well. I have a running goal to lose weight by the end of 2023. Send positive vibes. I want to look more like a runner. I pass quite a few runners in town driving around. Running is a big goal. Poetry is too, but I need to find a job so I can pay bills. I’m watching my diet again. I didn’t watch it last week really. It’s rough. I have trouble getting to the gym 7 day/wk. But maybe I just need to build the habit. It is incredibly important to my health. Where do I want my life to go? I want to be a senior engineer. Or I want enough money to buy a car and go to NYC every year. I want to pay off school debt. Yeah, the job is the money, but it can be fun or at least important. It is work. Somehow I want energy to write too. And read. So more writing and reading and less TV. I want to read more too. Having a job will take energy, but I don’t need to commit myself to 10hour days every day. I hope to get interviews for the jobs I applied to today. I also should apply to more. Maybe tomorrow I won’t sleep through the afternoon and be able to work on more submissions. I could stay up later tonight because I haven’t been able to fall asleep very well. I am watching my energy and mood and healthy habits this month. October has been difficult in the past. I don’t know if it’s from burn out at work or just an affect of the season. I have been pretty happy in Spring and Summer this year. I think I don’t like the sun setting soon. Maybe I will take a drive tomorrow and look at leaves. This blog is all over the place but it’s fine. I wish I didn’t have to be so careful about with things like mood and energy. I do need more daily focus on diet and exercise. I’m hoping to get to the gym 5 days this week. Both today and yesterday were good runs. Tomorrow I’m going for a speed work out. Twins won their wildcard game to progress in the playoffs. Watching the news now. But the gym is very important to me. I need to keep the habit building weekly and daily. I am excited about making progress with running. Longer durations and more mileage and hopefully higher speed. I will stretch tonight. I’ve been feeling sore today. I used a couple weight machines in addition to my treadmill workout. Not all the machines, I was not feeling the weights today. I have a few goals longer term, but I should think about shorter term goals. I did hit a distance target about a week ago. Maybe I should try to tack on half a mile to that distance. I need to think about what to do for easy run. I guess easy should just be easy, and push on the hard efforts, like speed work and long runs.

[devitalise]

the end up the month always sneaks up on me, i saw your message and was like "oh she's early I have plentyyy of time!" yet here we are two days into April already AHHHH how were your March reads? & i forget, are you doing a no-buy thing or minimal buying for books? how's that been going 🤨

no literally in my head it's still march the last week has been a complete blur especially with the clocks going forward only just got my bearings. but this is now a nice lil springtime treat so let's get into my

march book wrap up

milk fed by melissa broder

i had a real voraciousness when i read this, i just couldn't get enough. not necessarily the writing, but of rachel. i love her. girls with complicated relationships with their mothers. a very unapologetic read i think, i had to do a bit of googling but i love that Broder didn't shy away from presenting the ideas and themes she set out to do in their fullest forms. kind of let down by the ending at the time of reading, but i can respect what it serves the book on reflection.

music: milk fed playlist review: booksburgersandbackpacks

fight night by miriam toews

kind of laughed as i remembered i read this. went on holiday this month, so picking this as my travelling read felt a bit risky i didn't know if i'd have the time to give this the attention it deserved, or if it'd even grab me. but it did. i loved this book so, so much. crying on a 9pm flight as i'm over the English channel unlocked. shiv i just want to hug you. i'm going to try get the physical version of this, i want the physicality of it so bad. equal parts love letter and biographical in nature, made it onto my top 2023 shelf and idk if i even have the words to do this justice!

music: think this was just my liked songs? podcast: shakespeare & company

things i don't want to know by deborah levy

claxon sounds alarm rings horns blare. i read nonfiction. i've heard real high praise of levy as an author. i don't know if there was any rhyme or reason for picking up part one in her living autobiography series, but i'm realy glad i did. how do you judge a memoir? sorry, your life was boring! in levy's case it wasn't. i appreciate how vulnerable it is to unpick your memories and make sense of them almost 40 years later, to revisit apartheid South Africa and digest what that makes you as a woman now in your 60s. refreshingly candid, some real interesting threads on womanhood, displacement, motherhood and agency in this. will be picking up the next in the series.

music: just some indie pop i think (scared to update spotify i've seen there's no more genre filters in liked songs? what's that about!) no review here did some independent thinking scarily

ok i did finish a book yesterday that i want to count but it hasn't been long enough for my thoughts to settle but i'm going to link everything now before i lose it.

let it come down by paul bowles (technicality)

music: let it come down (not period appropiate but perfect for that kind of restless energy) articles: the international zone: expat writers in tangier, what was the international zone, franco-moroccan war

and that was my march reading! still at a slow and steady pace. i am trying to do a no book buy moment! other than me buying 3 books in march, i've been going pretty strong. might break it though because i've picked out two more books set in tangier also by some of bowle's contemporaries and i really want to explore a setting like that as a wider more Themed block of reading if that makes sense. so i'll be buying naked lunch by william s. burruoughs and in tangier by mohamed chouckri in the next couple of days (in tangier is a memoir)

also amazon sent me a notification like maybe its time for a new kindle! my current one isn't even 2 years old and works perfectly fine i won't be giving in