#washed my bedsheets

[fernspirals]

At least today was productive

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

brain rot anon: i see your jaydick, i see your dickate, i see your jaykate… but are you ready for the throuple. dick/kate/jason. is the world ready for that level of chaos in one relationship? are their neighbors ready for that sex life? like i see your kate bishop’s boyfriends tag and i say okay but what if her boyfriends were also boyfriends? are these boys going to have to learn how to share 😂 but also come on jason you end up dating his exes anyway sooooooo

on GOD nonny i saw the notification for this on my phone and all it showed was "brain rot anon: i see your jaydick" and i KNEW what was coming, i am SCREECHING

Okokokokkokkkkkok jaydick seducing Kate? Jaykate seducing dick? (I don't see dickate seducing jason working I don't think jason would trust it) ak!jason my beloved???

(oh my GOD ak!jason would be such a possessive little freak over them; dick and kate EAT IT UP)

what a group of exceptionally terrifying people. the number of people who look at them and think Jason is the loose cannon (it's Dick it's absolutely Dick) and that Kate is kind of the middle/balance (she's not she is SO destructive) and is so many while Jason is actually planning cute ass date nights and wanting to stay in and cuddle and bake

(Cute date night idea: going to college bars and beating the shit out of people drugging drinks. Like honestly meet ugly. Dick and Jay are out doing this and Kate beats them to the punch (literally) and they get to know each other via shared hobbies TT)

Is the world ready for this chaos? So Clint and Cass (Cain) are very "yeah that tracks" about this relationship. Bruce is going insane. Damian attempts to give Kate a shovel talk and doesn't succeed because the last child-shaped chaos machine Kate dealt with was Loki (and also those kids she and Clint rescued with mind powers!) so it takes her forever to realize Damian is threatening her because that is just how The Youth express affection, right?

NO, absolutely NO ONE is ready for their sex life. At least one neighbor thinks they're filming porn. I cannot imagine living in an apartment next to them. They NEED a house but it's not practical with being vigilantes, city apartments are where it's at, but hOneStLy

I can't tell you how much furniture they break. It's a lot. They spring for a solid wood table after breaking three from Ikea. at least three sets of torn bedsheets, two broken bedside lamps--look Jay and Dick are very large men and all three of them are very strong if they're not paying attention or they've been apart for an extended period of time, there's going to be drywall with holes in it. Something's getting torn of the wall on accident. They are not getting their deposit back.

idk how they get together, so many delicious scenarios

Dick and Kate getting drinks together and deciding to break into one of Jason's safe houses and get MORE drunk. Literally all they're talking about is how great Jason is and how much they want to kiss him. Jason comes in all huffy to these two NERDS on his couch, melted all over each other, red-cheeked and giggly, obviously assumes they're flirting with each other and not him even with Kate telling him he's so pretty and Dick agrees

or or or the boys have been very MATURE and ADULT and are having conversations about both of them being into Kate and maybe both of them dating her when they have the misfortune to get dosed with some Ivy nonsense, NOT sex pollen but like incredibly high/drunk. they're doing some real dangerous shit in the batcave and refusing to listen to ANYone EVEN ALFRED, so Steph calls Kate, because Kate has been wrangling drunk adrenaline junkie superhero boys since she was 19, she's literally a pro at this.

Jason and Dick, btw, have been perched somewhere very high talking mostly about Kate (also how much Dick wants to snuggle with Haley and what they want to eat and how much they like each other) so when she comes in they listen to her and it has nothing to do with her ability to herd the inebriated. Jason and Dick are staring at her and agreeing to do whatever she asks. "Hawkeye did you know that if you mix blue and red you get purple. wow what a coincidence or something those are our colors!" followed by disturbingly intense stares.

at some point they wind up at her apartment (because she knows where all the weapons are and because the consensus was to keep them contained. The Manor is too much space for them to get lost in) after stopping to pick up Haley and there's just a pile of vigilantes, Lucky, Haley, Jeff the Land Shark, and a cat that Kate has acquired (the cat's name, I regret to inform you, is toad) and they REALLY want Kate to snuggle too but they don't want to pressure her but they REALLY WANNA touch her :(

one of them asks to hold her hand. one of them asks to play with her hair. the textures are SO GOOD. Jason and Dick zonk out in her bed and wind up all snuggled together which is very nice actually hmmmm Dick needs to rethink this potential relationship configuration but he is literally and figuratively flexible so it'll be fine. the biggest issue jaydick have in seducing Kate is getting her to realize that they ARE serious. Kate this is not a joke. she's a little mopey because she thinks the boys are just into each other. she's getting ready to go out and it's a whole thing with Jason going "you don't need to go out to find someone to wreck your shit, we are perfectly capable of doing that." (it's really romantic trust me)

More shenanigan-ery wanted? Kate falling for Dick Grayson and Hawkeye falling for Red Hood. (Kate does not have a long term plan here btw "bisexuality" is not a plan)

Anyway Red Hood hears about something Derek Bishop is planning that will have fallout for Kate, so of course he tells Dick and they try to set up a sting or something. which REALLY interferes with Kate's plans of catching her dad doing shady shit. At the end of the night the three of them are grouped together as a building burns behind them. Nightwing is being kinda proprietary about Kate which is weird because she's never worked with him and Kate keeps drifting into Red Hood's space which is weird because he knows Kate has never met him as Red Hood.

Jason suggests they regroup at one of his safe houses. The boys expect Kate to put up a fight about it but she's like "no I trust you" which is BEWILDERING, she has NO reason to trust Red Hood (that they know of ofc)

Obviously Dick is willing to let her know who he is and Jason is fine not doing that (why would he Anyway? Not his circus, not his clowns [ohohoohooo the irony] that's Dick's girl, he has nothing to do with that) and Jason is a little pissed that Hawkeye couldn't be bothered to help? He never asks her for anything. But maybe she's hurt? Shit, he's gotta get back out there, see if he can find her--

Now one of two things can happen.

Jason goes to text Hawkeye and Kate's phone dings (spiderman pointing meme)

OR

Chaos.

Clint barges into the safehouse, Deadpool in tow (with popcorn he is SO READY for what's about to go down that's why he helped Clint find the place) Clint VERY much Hawkeye attired and VERY UPSET that Kate decided to do this and didn't tell him???

Except she DID tell him she told him three whole days ago!!! OH MY GOD CLINT DID YOU HAVE YOUR EARS OFF

So Nightwing and Red Hood (and Deadpool) are watching this incredibly married fight (all of their fights are so married idk what to tell you they are platonic life partners) between Avenger Hawkeye and heiress Kate? Bishop? how do they know each other???

This goes on for longer than it should. Wade is getting bored. So he finishes chewing his popcorn and goes "Hey, Hawkeye!"

And both Clint and Kate turn to him and (in the same tone) go "WHAT?"

This is about the time Dick starts to bluescreen

Clint mentions something about how Captain America asked her not to do this kind of thing--

"A white Cap or a Black Cap?"

"Uhhh it was Steve?"

"Yeah I don't give a shit honestly he knows that, that's why he made me you."

Jason is buffering. Buffering. Buffering.

tbf Kate Bishop being a vigilante is not the thing that's tripping him up--I mean, Bruce--but that Kate Bishop is sort of into him? Actually really into him? Does that mean Kate is his girlfriend?

Which runs smack into "oh shit Kate is dating Dick."

(Kate is still blissfully unaware of her impending doom. She and Clint are still arguing about who she DOES listen to and it's NOT a man she pulled out of a dumpster last week, CLINTON. If Daredevil was here she would say the same thing to him! She would say the same thing to Moon Knight! To which Clint replies that he doesn't trust someone who gets HIT by CARS as much as she does--)

The stupidity of this argument has blunted the impact of Dick and Jason freaking out (Dick is recovering quickly his brain whirring at a million miles an hour thinking about all the times Jason has dated his exes and how he gets all flustered sometimes--)

Dick has taken his mask off. Jason has taken his helmet off and his mask. Kate and Clint have reached the part of arguing where they are like "I just worry abt you and love you ok" and hug and THEN

Kate sees the Boys, says "no" and just turns and walks out of the room.

it'll be fine she just needs to eat something. they'll have the serious conversations and it'll be great and wonderful and at some point Nightwing and Red Hood go beat the shit out of Derek Bishop :)

And like. GOD. these two boys, birds, who learned to fly through the night sky, giving Hawkeye wings. do you. do you see what I'm saying.

[satans-knitwear]

Fuck offfffffff I have 4 sets of bedsheets to wash and dry, not to mention what appears to be every bath towel ever.

[gaytobymeres]

Sat down whilst cleaning the house and now I can’t get up :(

[memecatwings]

im literally allergic to so many things rn im so pathetic and sad i feel like a wet cat out in the rain

[godbirdart]

the one day of Free Time To Do Chores before a big trip has tragically landed on the same day this one lady in my building decided to do the laundry for what seems to be her Entire apartment

I HAVE WAITED EIGHT HOURS. A WASH + DRY TAKES AN HOUR AND A HALF. THERE ARE MULTIPLE WASHERS AND DRYERS AND SHE HAS COMMANDEERED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. WHAT ARE YOU WASHING. have you opted today to be the day you wash every thread of fabric within your home’s four walls? every blouse and rag and doily just Had to go in? have you stripped the couch of its upholstery? torn up the unit carpeting, feeling it needed a run through the spin cycle? what are you wASHING

[gopissghoul]

Anyone else have that specific kind of neurodivergence where your buffs and debuffs almost perfectly cancel each other out so it all evens out into just being a slightly below average Guy who really struggles with being alive. Like i read at 3x the expected speed but also have 1/3 of the expected reading comprehension skill so really I'm just mid with extra steps

[abrahamvanhelsings]

curious bc my dumbass colleague opened his mouth and said something again:

[moodr1ng]

sometimes i remember like stuff from my teen years at my dads that was just my everyday life back then and im like lol that was crazyyy. like no wonder im so fucked in the head lol. i used to sleep in a bookshelf cause he wouldnt get me a bed 😂😂😂😂

[draculagerard]

i feel like if my bed was sentient it would hate me. like bro sorry about all the crumbs and little eraser rubbings and Various Stains (coffee, soft drink, what-have-you) and all the times i got injured and accidentally got blood everywhere. sorry about thrashing around like a madman everynight bc i dont have a consistent sleep position and also accidentally drooling on pillows :/

i felt that on a spiritual level

[mossflower]

mad what you can get done when you get up before 1pm

[electricpurrs]

oh yea i didnt get #girlblog about it but yesterday i did a throughout cleaning on my room completely by myself and ive never felt a stronger sense of acomplishment. i think im officially healed from mental illness im throwing all my meds away

[sleepyjim2]

i lovwe u shackleton adam young......

[miss-floral-thief]

Dun think

I have any new bug bites for now

[gaytobymeres]

It’s such a beautiful day outside and I could be out with my new camera but no! I have to write a stupid fake journal article about apple grafting :(

[euphorial-docx]

the most annoying thing about depression is having to clean your depression room. like that’s the last thing i want to do after rotting for 2 months bro.