#I think I just needed a little brain break from pushing for larger works

[inbabylontheywept]

Want Better Things

“You thought that was a bioweapon?” 

The translator broke down for a second as the creature did a sort of broken exhale. Connotations were all that came through. Vague implications. Pity, the software flashed. Disgust. Anger.

A pause as it decided.  

Sadism. 

Valta was already backing away. The final decision didn’t change his behavior, it just made the hall feel far, far too short. 

“I didn’t order it deployed. I didn’t make it.” 

The thing was staring at him, and he couldn’t look away. The two eyes moved in such perfect tandem that he didn’t think it was conscious. It only had binocular vision because it only needed binocular vision. Always the predator, never the prey. 

And now it was moving in on him. 

“Oh, but what if you had? Then I could tell you all the things that were wrong with it.” 

One of its hands - a sprawling, five fingered  spindly thing - traced carelessly along the station's walls. 

“No incubation period. Symptoms arrive within 40 minutes of exposure. No time to spread undetected. Minimum should be one week. Embarrassingly low.” 

The pressure the thing was putting on the wall increased, the gentle glide turning into a buzzing scratch. Humans were strong, but not strong enough to cut through metal like this. The suit had to be powered and clawed. 

“Spread through contact. Limited waterborne. No airborne. Intended mechanism of infection is viral load being put on hands from scratching, and then passed into the environment. Pathetically inefficient.” 

The translator was working, but the thing was overeunounciating each word. The meaning was being passed along by a clean, helpful voice in his suit, even as the sound was being passed on through the environmental speakers. And the sound was dreadful - clicks of ceramized bone jarring against each other, wet muscles modulating air into something sharp and rasping. 

“Mechanism of death? Lysis overload. Could be dangerous if it was transmitted into the lungs, but since the initial load tends to be dermal all we wind up with-”

It took its helmet off. 

It took its helmet off. 

It took its helmet off it took its helmet off it took its helmet off in a biozone it - 

It looked a little pink, actually. A little scratchy. It lifted a delicate, taloned hand and rubbed its face against it for a moment before finishing. 

“-is a rash.”

Valta’s prey drive had glued him to the spot. It was too close. The stupid, stupid part of his brain that still thought he was grazing on Duranga hoped that if he stood still long enough, it might not notice him. 

The human paused a moment before continuing. 

“Do you know why they sent me? Alphonse Ericsen, PhD, MD, civilian doctor, here to speak with you?”

Valta’s snout twitched. The suit translated the gesture for him. 

“No.” 

“Because one of our grunts is a dumb fuck,” the human said simply. “And he spent two days fighting on your station with his helmet off. He got infected that way and brought back your stupid, itchy plague to our carrier ship, and now we’ve all spent the last 8 hours scratching ourselves raw. But the jokes on you, because when we were treating that guy you know what we found? That he was in the asymptomatic phase of a COVID infection. So if this-”

It gestured to its pink face with a snarl. 

“-is your idea of a bioweapon, then COVID is going to be your apocalypse. But if you work with me, and shut everything the fuck down for the next three or four months, I might be able to save most of you.” 

Valta unstuck at that. He’d spent weeks down here, worrying about nothing more than the next skirmish. Now he was looking at a genuine existential threat. 

“...What? Why would you help us? We wanted you to die. All of you. I wanted-”

The human cut him off with an exasperated wave of his hand. 

“You wanted something stupid. Doesn’t mean I have to join you. Best I can do to fix you is keep you alive and hope that you feel ashamed later. That, I genuinely look forward to. Now come on, you’re going to be the one explaining to all your friends what’s at stake here. My bedside manner is so bad that they limited my patients to virology slides and USMC marines. I think that’s actually one rung below the guys that just dissect cadavers.” 

Valta would’ve made an amused hum at that, but something already felt scratchy inside his throat. 

[crow-raven-crow]

Can you write a Larissa Weems OS where Reader was looking after a bunch of kids and when she wanted to talk to a misbehaving child they run away so she grabs them and sets them on a table to taln to the kid eye to eye the kud kicks against the bench before the table and it falls on the readers foot. Larissa comes in with the mom of the kids, because the mom is Larissa's friend Reader offered to watch the kids, to see Reader holding back tears and a quickly swelling foot takes her to the doctor and they find out the toe is broken and Larissa comforts the Reader (that is an actual thing that happened to me on monday and I'm craving some comfort from Larissa) but write it only if it's ok for you

𝐌𝐲 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐡

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧ Larissa Weems x f!reader words: ~2.4k

𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: description of pain, broken bones, crying, emotional tightness (holding it in), rapid thoughts, FLUFF

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: see ask above

masterlist

AO3 link in title

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𝐚/𝐧: Hey Crimson! Ty for the ask - i think this is actually a really cute idea.

HOWEVER

I’m so sorry that happened to you! That seems crazy, and I hope that your recovery goes smoothly!

I had to ask my friends and one of them thats in the med program here about breaking bones - what it feels like, what you’d get afterwards, etc - because I’ve actually never broken a bone before (HEAVILY knocking on wood rn). I tried to do this justice - i did change it sliggghhhtttlllyyy BUT I hope you enjoy!

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The rapid sounds of small, running footsteps and loud, excited screams filled your ears the closer you got to the little playground that was adjacent to the prestigious academy for outcasts. You had been a professor there for quite some time. Working with unique species and developing teenage brains every day surely gave you more tosses and turns than you expected to face when you had applied for the job some years ago, but you loved it regardless.

You pushed yourself to be someone for the students to feel comfortable reaching out towards and, in the process, created a home for yourself here with the help of the amazing principal (and now wife) Larissa Weems. You realized you fell hard for the woman after just a few months of working here - her captivating personality and kindness towards everyone made your heart swell after being enticed with the professional that could gain a rooms attention just by being present. Lucky, your company had given her butterflies as much as hers gave to you. You constantly helped each other get through the issues the growing minds threw at the both of you.. though, there was a part of you that always enjoyed the little ones.

In your spare time, you often found yourself at the daycare for outcasts that was right next to the school to give a helping hand. It was something that Larissa added when the population of outcasts grew larger. Being able to provide for this community was something you both held close to your heart, and there was a big part of you that was excited to have a child of your own. Seeing the little ones grow into their abilities was something you always found fascinating, but you always made sure to give them the most reassurance you could muster - the smaller ones often being confused and scared of something they didn’t understand quite yet.

You were lucky to find them at their playtime break outside. During this time of year, you always let out a soft chuckle when you saw the children wrapped in their winter coats and bundled up in their beanies and scarves their parents provided them - the puff of the fabrics making the children take up three times the space than they normally would. Seeing the little frosts or yeti children always concerned you at first glance in the winter - not needing such things due to their nature - but you soon got used to the sight the more you came here.

The main daycare teacher was standing next to the light post that lit the playground in a golden glow under the overcast sky. Her name was Olivia, and you’d grown closer to the younger woman the more you offered your help. She often stated how you were like an older sister to her - a thought that warmed your heart every time. She hugged her body close, the chill of the outside world going through her coat, and you couldn’t help but give a weak smile.

“Hey, Liv,” You said while wrapping your coat around the woman. “Is there anything I can help with today?”

“Y/N! Hi, thank you..” She tugged the thick coat closer to her body as she let out a shuddering breath. “We’re just staying warm, for now.. If you wanted, could you prepare some hot chocolate for when it’s time to head inside? I’m sure a lot of them will like the drink to warm up..”

You nodded and went to head into the building that stood behind her, but something caught your eye. A little lycan boy, who you immediately recognized as little Connor, was kicking and throwing wood chips in areas where other kids played. A small tsk left your mouth as you walked in his direction.

“Connnnoooorrrr?” You said with a playful lift in your voice. At the sound, he shot his gaze to you and screamed excitedly before bolting in a different direction. You decided it best to run after him, he was on a little mischievous streak after all.

“I got you, little one!” You boomed in a light tone. You didn’t want the kids to ever hold guilt for a situation but for them to understand what they were doing wrong, so you were always playful then serious when explaining, ensuring that they learned from their mistakes.

“Watch me make hot chocolate while we talk about why we don’t throw wood chips, hmm?” You picked him up as he agreed and wildly giggled, though a trouble maker, he was one of your favorites.

After helping him out of his coat, you settled him on the front table so you could look at each other at the same height. You didn’t want to intimidate him and wanted him to be honest with how he felt - it was the best move bringing him to your level.

You walked over to a cabinet to get some cups and chocolate mix. He watched your every move in genuine curiosity, your movements swift but not fast enough to disturb him. You walked back towards him, waiting for the liquid to warm before stopping in front of him.

“Now.. what do you think caused me to bring you in here, little wolf?” You watched him fidget slightly, refusing to answer for a moment. You took the moment to walk off and make him a cup of hot chocolate to warm up. While handing it to him, you spoke again.

“If I recall..” you started, offering him the small cup which he gladly accepted. “This is an issue we’ve had before, yes?”

“Yes, Ms.Weems,” he replied softly into his cup, his eyes moving to yours before his focus moved back to the drink.

“And what did we say the solution was, hmm?”

“If I want to do that with the wood chips then I should go off to the side where it won’t hit anyone..”

“That’s good, Connor. I’m glad you remembered that because we don’t want to have a repeat of-“

“But it wasn’t hitting anyone this time!! This time no one got hurt!!! Why can’t I keep doing it there!?!” The big outburst of energy from the small child caused a few things in close proximity to knock over with his quick feet and rapid moving arms. Some markers and a few plastic cups fell to the floor. The worst of it all was how his feet sent a chair down to the ground with a few large bangs that echoed throughout the room - the end of your foot breaking most of the fall…

The chair bounced off your foot and brought another wave of pain as it landed there again. At the first initial fall, a loud yelp left your lips as your eyes squeezed shut from the first wave of pain. You moved to catch yourself on a nearby desk as the chair settled itself on the floor. You felt tears begin to well up in your eyes before you could even process the severity of the situation.

Oh.. this certainly didn’t feel right.. You couldn’t bare to move your foot as an overwhelming warmth spread throughout your body - starting at the tip of your toes and quickly moving up to your head. Small waves of pain started there and made it hard to focus on anything else, making your body shudder as each one ran its course.

The sound of heels echoing down the hall registered in your mind, though the pain was so overwhelming that you didn’t give it your undivided attention or curiosity.

“It’s always so good to see you, Serenity. It’s lovely catching up with you. Let’s go ahead and grab little Connor, hmm? Right in here and- oh, y/n! Y/N?!” The beautiful accent filled your ears and eased the pain for what felt like seconds. Next thing you knew, the lovely woman was by your side softly rubbing your back. “My love, what happened?”

“Connor.. he-” you were cut off as another wave of pain vibrated through your body. She helped settle you on top of a desk and tried her best to get you to explain through the pain - every touch she gave was gentle and comforting, the love she held for you being transferred through her fingertips. Your throat burned as you attempted to get more words out, your breath running shorter by the second. “I-I don’t blame him- There.. was a little outburst but I understand why-”

Tears were now slipping from your eyes as the adrenaline slowly wore off - handing you the pain in tenfold as you held Larissa’s sleeves in a vice grip in attempt to ground yourself. Her eyes rapidly examined your face as she processed each of your words.

“Somethings broken..” You weakly managed to say, in between breaths.

Larissa, being the goddess she is, was able to handle the situation with a professional face - even if her insides were screaming at her to move and quickly get you to the hospital. She got the pair home and was able to update Olivia on the situation before helping you to the car. Her comfort never left you - a hand tracing patterns along your thigh and her angelic voice reminding you to breathe whenever your mind was too focused on the pain.

The trip to the hospital was a quick one - your wife becoming sick with worry after seeing you in so much pain caused her to make moves she wouldn’t normally make with a level head. By the time they had run all their tests and fully taken care of you, the sun had left the sky, causing the overcast atmosphere to run completely black.

Larissa walked into your room with an empathetic frown on her face. The sight of you in the hospital bed asleep with your foot elevated in a cast brought a spike of pain to her heart as she settled herself next to you. She brought your hand to her lips and kissed each of your knuckles.

“You really are something, Y/n..” She whispered, a small chuckle leaving her mouth.

You awoke a few moments later to a nice tingling feeling dancing patterns along your arm. As your eyes opened and took in the environment around you, your heart swelled as your eyes met captivating sapphire ones - you wife absentmindedly scratching along your forearm softly.

“Riss..?” You croaked out, your throat slightly dry form being out for so long. You attempted to sit up more, only to be met with a firm hand pushing you back down. You allowed the bed under you to capture your full weight as you watched your lovely wife grab a water bottle from beside her. She lifted it to your lips gently, waiting for you to drink, with her hand held out underneath to catch any water that would happen to slip from you.

“The doctor said we could go home whenever you woke, but I don’t want to leave here until you’re fully awake and ready, okay? One of your toes ended up breaking, so you’re going to have a cast for about four weeks, my love..” She brought the water down, after it seemed you had enough, as she answered all your unasked questions. “A crutch was given to you to refrain from putting too much weight on it.. and it’s advised to keep your foot elevated as much as you can..”

You threw your head back and let out a frustrated groan as the reality of the situation fully processed itself in your brain. “Can I go back to teaching though?” You asked, your voice laced with a bit of sadness because you didn’t want to set aside your passion for too long.

This caused the tall blonde to let out a loud laugh, you following in suit because you could never deny the bubbly feeling that rumbled in your chest every time you were able to make the sound come from your lover. She brought a hand up to stroke your cheek softly, your body naturally leaning into her touch.

“As your wife.. I’d appreciate if you took at least a few days off. As your boss, though.. I am making you take a few days off.” She said, laughing at her own comment. This was a little game she liked to play every so often and it never failed to make a smile grace your features. You loved how much she cared for you, and this little move was something you did to each other much more at the beginning of your relationship but said every now and then still.

After a while, you were ready to go home, ultimately just wanting to cuddle up with the sapphire beauty under some blankets and relish in each others company. Adjusting to the crutch was definately something that you would have to get used to, something your wife tried to hide her laugh at. The bruises from catching yourself so hard were making themselves known, after a while - something Larissa couldn’t help but notice.

Your determination brought you out of the room and far down the hall before you had to stop and allow your body to catch up. Just as you were about to start again, you felt two strong hands at your waist move to your upper back and your knees. Letting out a small yelp as you were lifted into the air, you looked back only to be met with your wife’s confident smirk being thrown back at you.

“Having some trouble?” She asked, the mirth laced in her tone caused you to let out a laugh.

“You know I had it.. but thank you, love..” You replied, nuzzling your face into the crook of her neck. With every breath you took, you inhaled more of her scent - the vanilla and rose making a warmth settle in your chest and a small blush sit on your cheeks. You truly would never grow tired of this.

“We can practice more as the weekend comes..” She said as you felt her strong strides make their way towards the outside of the hospital.

“I don’t know..” You said with a playful tone. “I could get used to this~ You could be my crutch,” you added with a giggle. The small comment made the blonde chuckle and look down at you. There was nothing but love and adoration in her eyes, and it never failed to give you butterflies.

You leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek and kissed along her jaw to place an ending one on her lips, appreciating the light lipstick stains they left in their tracks. You settled back into the crook of her neck as exhaustion from the day was finally catching up to you.

“I love you, Riss.” You said as your eyes fluttered shut softly.

“I love you too, my darling girl.. Now, lets get you home.”

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𝐚/𝐧: hi everyone :)

I haven't been on my socials as much because I just finished my first week back at college (YAY FOUR DAY WEEKEND - i have no friday classes cuz my schedule worked out) so I'm still slightly adjusting

BUT!

I spend some of my free time trying to write so when I saw this ask I was ONE honored !! like guys this is my first ask this was so cute ! I hope you guys liked it ! and TWO i started on it right when I saw it. It's nice to get a little break form my other writing to get some more creativity flowing

I'll be on here and my other socials more on weekends since I don't have classes, but since this is a passion it won't be strictly weekends lmao. ill be floating arounnnnnndddd

I hope you enjoyed this one! I'll be changing my page around a bit after I post this so it's on my pinned :)

~ 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐯𝐲𝐧

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𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: (tagged anyone who asked/wanted to be on the "all works" taglist)

@eveymay

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[night-market-if]

Little rant about the MC cuz it's been on my mind :) btw this isn't hate or criticism! I love the game a lot!! Binged it twice in two days.

The strange thing is that I didn't even realize MC was being used by the rest of the cast until Malcom explicitly laid it out. This is probably just me being dense, cuz I just kept thinking "wow everyone's really pushy, ig I need to do another thing." But now that I think about it, the more I realize that damn—MC really got the short end of the stick. This isn't in comparison to any other character, I'm just saying that in general, MC's situation sucks a lot more than I thought initially.

Like coming into a world where you constantly are reminded you don't belong there, yet having no recollection of where you do belong (and on top of that just frustrating skelticism from people you want to trust/are working with)?? And then finding out your origin only to spiral into an even deeper existential crisis???? I can't even imagine how that must feel, and I'm honestly surprised the MC is even functioning at all.

MC plays the role of an outsider looking in, but in doing so, has to grapple with the fact that their, quite frankly, scary situation of being plunged into the unknown is used as a mechanism to solve a problem that is larger than life. They are constantly put on the back burner in favor of some new plot, some new goal. They're there to comfort other characters, mend relationships, negotiate, and run errands when they have only been in the Night Market for a fraction of the time every other character has been in, pushed to hold such a huge burden in such a short amount of time. It'd be a miracle to even begin processing everything, let alone healthily.

Not to mention, I can't get over how quite literally every character has wronged them or used them in some way. They usually are justified in some way, but that really strains a person's trust. I'm looking forward to getting a nice friend group in book 2, the support would very much be appreciated.

I hope we get a nice long break after everything. MC really needs it and a counselor 😭.

Yes! Yes yes yes! So, this was all done by a very specific design. There is not a single relationship within this game that is I'd say 'healthy'. Now, part of that is because that is way more fun to write. But, the other part of it is because I really want to explore a character that does from not really knowing much of anything, to being what they are now and how that does change a person. I still don't know how that is going to look but I'm incredibly excited for it.

This was an incredibly thought out response to the MC and it made my day seeing it. I love when I get things in where I feel like a reader went into my brain and took out what I was thinking. :)

[womanlalaboy]

Tiny But Mighty Habits

If you're reading this post, congratulations! You're taking an interest in becoming a better version of yourself. Keep reading, and you might start taking action. Starting can be frustrating and challenging, but as Brian Tracy said, "once you actually begin work on a valuable task, you seem to be naturally motivated to continue."

In my case, I started with reading a book written by James Clear. His book, "Atomic Habits" offers practical advice on how to become better by building small, powerful habits. Clear breaks down scientific research so we won't have to, and his book has become my productivity bible. I've read it three times, by the way, and it has helped me build some of my tiny but mighty habits. I'm not quite where I want to be yet, but seeing small changes in myself is motivating enough to keep going.

Let's start with the definition of atomic habits. What does it mean? Simply put, atomic habits are small habits that can make a big difference. They're little habits that are part of a larger system, just as atoms make up all matter.

Repeat these small habits enough and they would add up over time like compounding interest but in self-improvement. Let me expound (see what I did there?). if you improve just one percent each day, you'll end up with results that are almost 37 times better after a year. The more you repeat your habits, the more powerful they become. There is a fancy way of putting this. Have you heard of "the aggregation of marginal gains?" Basically, the overall improvement can be huge if you break down everything into its parts and improve each one by 1 percent. Clear already did the math for us:

Have you ever wondered how habits are formed? Let's break it down by starting with the parts of the brain. There are two important parts of the brain involved in the habit formation. The first one is the prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision making. It processes choices like like starting your diet, meditating, or reading a book from your to-read list. If you have decided to read today, what time would that be and where?

The second part of your brain is the basal ganglia, also known as the unconscious mind. It's mainly responsible for motor control and acts like your autopilot.

When you repeat a behavior enough times, instead of having to decide each time, your basal ganglia takes over, making the behavior automatic.

But for habits to really stick, they need to persist long enough to break through what Clear calls the Plateau of Latent Potential. It's that point where you feel like you're not making any progress and may even get demotivated because it seems like what you're doing isn't worth it.

But here's the thing: once you push past the plateau, you'll start to see real, positive changes in yourself.

Habits, Clear said can either work for you or against you. When you develop positive habits, they can have some amazing compounding effects. What are these?

Productivity compounds: The more you can handle without having to think or choose, the more your brain is free to focus on other areas that help you become more productive.

Knowledge compounds: One new idea won't make you a genius, but a lifelong commitment to learning can transform you. Knowledge also accumulates over time like compound interest.

Relationships compound: People reflect your behavior back to you. When you're helpful to others, they're more likely to return the favor. Being a little bit nicer in every interaction can create a broad and robust network of connections that grow over time.

However, negative habits can also compound over time and have a detrimental effect on your life. Here are some negative compounding effects to look out for:

Stress compounds: Everyday stressors are manageable, but if they persist for years, they can add up and lead to serious health issues.

Negative thoughts compound: The more you think of yourself or others in negative ways, the more you reinforce those thoughts, trapping yourself in a cycle of negative thinking that can be hard to break.

Outrage compounds: Mass movements like protests or riots are rarely caused by a single event. Instead, a long series of small incidents and aggravations build up over time, until one event pushes it over the edge and outrage spreads like wildfire, the same way people who don’t release their anger burst with rage once their cup is full and spilling.

Remember, your habits can have a significant impact on your life, so it's important to choose positive ones that work for you, and be mindful of the negative ones that can work against you.

---

I’ll be writing more about habit building in the next few weeks so watch out for that. You can also head to Clear’s website if you want to subscribe to his newsletters and his 30-day habit challenge.

[lacheri]

Okay so... you might not even take requests but I’ll give this a shot anyway bc I love everything you write. I fucked up at work big time today and I feel tremendously anxious and guilty. Which made me think... Levi scenario with gf reader messing up on the field? I know he’d prob be harsh af at first but maybe... some fluff in the end? ): only if you want ofc.

hi nonnie! sorry for taking a few days to write this! but I hope u like it <3 (sorry to hear about your bad day btw ):)

accidents and apologies

pairing: dom!Levi x sub!fem bodied reader

content: canonverse, impact play, mild choking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex/creampie, oral (f receiving), some humiliation/degrading, reader is clumsy and Levi is mean, minors DNI

wc: 3.2k

Fat tears sat in thick clusters on the brim of your lash line, a hiccupping sob racking your body. You were as good as dead, having possibly made the biggest fuck up of your military career thus far. Titans seemed like ants in comparison, the fly that buzzes by your ear that irritates you to no end. Levi’s odm gear sat in pieces on the floor, and somehow this loomed over you like the Colossal titan, maybe even larger.

The polish container sat forgotten on your captain’s desk, the wipe slipping from your trembling hands. Your bottom lip quivered, your lungs filling with air quickly as you slumped to the floor next to the shattered metal. Your off duty position of being Levi’s assistant was practically over, it had barely even begun. You had begged for this job for weeks now, only a few days into being his helping hand, you reflected on how poorly of a job you’d done.

It wasn’t enough you had gotten Levi’s tea wrong this morning, adding sugar to the steaming mug, thinking he’d like a change in taste. He didn’t, immediately spitting the liquid out, cursing you into guilt on the spot. To try to make it up to the ravenette, while he was on his lunch, you sat at his desk and began to organize his paperwork by date of importance. You felt pride as you finished with the three piles of stacks, putting fresh ink in his pot for his quill. However, Levi was horribly furious to see what your regret had manifested into. How were you supposed to know he liked his documents organized by date of assignment, not what was most important?

This was the cherry on top, Levi leaving for dinner, mentioning that his gear did need some polishing. Surely, you wouldn’t fuck this up, he thought as he closed the door to his office behind him. How wrong the man had been though. Within minutes, your fingers became slippery, losing your grip on the cold metal as watched in horror as it clattered to the floor, breaking on impact. It didn’t make much sense, how could it have broken? Wasn’t the gear meant to outlast a titan’s grip? Especially Levi’s trusty gear, you couldn’t fathom how his gear was now laying in pieces on the floor.

You sucked back your sob as you heard the creek of the door, your heart falling straight down to the pit of your stomach. Of course Levi would be back before you recite your apology a thousand times over in your head. You heard the thud of his boots hit the floor as he walked over, seemingly calm.

“Oi, what are you doing on the floor?” he barked out, you could feel his presence looming from behind you.

You turned your head up, his face blurry from the rush of tears in your eyes, “Sir, I am so sorry.”

His grey eyes flickered in front of you, finally taking notice of his broken gear. His lips twitched in a deep frown as he sucked in air through his nostrils harshly.

“Get up, cadet,” Levi spoked venomously, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

You hurried to your feet clumsily, trying your hardest to quell your cries from your throat. You faced him, head downturned, attempting to steady your racing heart rate and the tremors in your bones. Whatever control you thought you had slipped from your grasp the second your captain’s lips parted.

“Never in my life have I met someone as insolent as you,” the harshness of his words kept your eyes on his boots, fresh teardrops rolling down your cheeks. Levi was not going to speak to the crown of your head though, and his hand gripped your chin to force your eyes up, looking directly into his own. “You’re going to look at me while I talk to you, understood?”

You nodded, but this was not what Levi was searching for, “Your words, cadet.”

“Yes, sir,” it came out of your mouth as a squeak.

“You want to explain to me why my odm gear is broken?”

“It slipped,” you hiccupped, violently shaking under his fierce glare. “I couldn’t catch it in time. Captain, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” he bemused darkly in disbelief. “This is the third time today you’ve fucked something up, and you’re just sorry?”

“I don’t know what else to say,” you were on the verge of hyperventilating as you stuttered your words out.

“Well, now you owe me new gear, and you’re going to personally pay for the expense,” Levi’s hand left your face as he backed away from you, sitting down at his desk.

You looked on in confusion, “Sir, I don’t have any money?”

“Then I guess you’re fired,” Levi tilted his head back as if bored now with the conversation. “You’re relieved of your military duties as well. We can’t afford to have someone as brainless as you in the Scouts.”

“Captain, please,” you raised your voice, arms wrapping around yourself to contain your shaking.

Levi’s eyes darkened, leaning forward to press his elbows on his desk as he leaned his head onto his intertwined fists, “Leave my office, now.”

This couldn’t be happening. You had no home to return to, having left it behind long before you joined the Training Corps. This was your life, your purpose, your friends were here. You finally felt like you had a place in the world here in the Scouts.

“I’ll do whatever I have to!” you begged, not moving a muscle. “Whatever I can do to stay!”

“Are you deaf or just an idiot?” Levi pushed onto his feet, striding over to stand right in your face as he spat. “Leave my fucking office, that’s an order!”

Your bottom lip trembled, and you felt so fucking pathetic but couldn’t stop yourself from one last attempt, “Please, sir. Don’t kick me out, please let me make it up somehow.”

Your brain took a moment to catch up with what had just happened as you were suddenly staring down at the wooden notches of Levi’s desk. He had grabbed your wrists in a fierce swiftness, pushing you face down, his hands now positioned against your spine to keep you in place. His right hand reached around to fumble with your belt, and your heart began to race for other reasons.

“Captain?” you stuttered, feeling him begin to pull off the belts stationed on your thighs.

“You think you can just beg me in that voice, looking like that, and expect me not to lose control?” his voice was thick with anger, but instead of fear, it tickled bouts of arousal in your lower stomach. “Answer me.”

“No?” it came out as a question, you pushed your thighs together as you felt a pulse run through your core as his fingers tickled the exposed skin of your lower stomach. “Sir, I’m confused, what’re doing?”

“Like you have no idea what you do to me,” Levi chuckled without humor. “You begged me to be my assistant even though you knew you weren’t going to be a good one. You think I wouldn’t notice, your little crush on me?”

It was true, so entirely true. Levi had been the object of your affection for such a long time now, taking every opportunity to get as close to the man as possible. If you were being honest with yourself, this fantasy of being bent over his desk was a constant distraction in your mind. He was right, you were shit at cleaning, you were probably the most clumsy person you knew, you really had no qualifications to be Levi’s aide, yet you still asked for the position.

“Then why’d you hire me, Captain?” the bratty words left your lips as it dawned on you, Levi had found you appealing regardless of your lack of qualities.

With a quick motion, your pants and panties were bunched around your knees, Levi’s palm meeting the now exposed skin of your cheek in a caress, “The same reason you’re fucking soaked right now, cadet.”

You stayed in position as Levi brought his other hand to your opposite ass cheek, fingers kneading the fat as he spread you open to his hungry view. He was right, you were dripping. His pointer finger ran down the seam of your ass, laying a soft touch to your hole, watching it flutter in excitement. He couldn’t hold back the smirk on his face, removing his touch entirely.

You whined, pushing your bottom closer to Levi’s hands, desperate for his touch. Your hips were slammed against the edge of his desk, his fingers digging firmly into the back of your thighs, pushing your legs back together. You felt a jarring sting on your backside, yelping in response as you could make out the distinct imprint of each of his fingers.

“You want to show me you’re really sorry?” Levi’s voice was low and raspy as he soothed his palm over the reddened mark he had made. “Tell me after every slap.”

You were able to brace yourself this time as you felt the strike of his hand once more on your opposite cheek, unable to contain your moans at the contact. You squirmed as you felt removal of Levi’s touch leave you, only to bite down on your tongue harshly as he swatted the back of your thighs much harder than he had on your ass.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” he spoke ruthlessly as another slap hit your thighs.

“I’m sorry!” you cried, gasping for air from the impact.

“Again,” his hand smacked the fat of your ass again, his other hand smoothing over the harsh red blotches against your thighs in an attempt to soothe the pain.

“‘M sorry!” you were whining, knuckles white from gripping the opposite edge of the desk as you arched your ass up into his hold. Part of you was genuinely shocked over how much you were enjoying this, thoroughly aroused mentally and physically.

Levi couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight in front him. The handprints scattered across your lower half had his cock springing to life, hard and painfully erect. His hands traveled down to your pussy lips, using his thumbs to spread you open. Your hole was drooling, Levi let out a deep groan at the sight. He couldn’t stop himself, he had to have a taste.

You let out a sputtered moan as you felt the tip of your captain’s tongue lick a stripe from your hole to your clit. You pushed your hips further into his touch, thankful he resisted in shoving you back into the edge of the desk this time. His fingers held you open and apart, his taste buds rolling circles into your clit before returning back to your flitting opening, shoving his tongue in your walls. You could feel it fold in half, almost in a cupping motion as he bobbed his head, lapping as much as he could.

“Oh my God,” you whined, thrusting a hand behind you to grasp at his hair. His palms circled to the fronts of your thighs, digging his fingers into the fat as he pulled you somehow closer as he buried his face further into your dripping heat.

You were seeing stars, in between the mix of the pain and pleasure, your brain was completely empty. Levi’s right hand left your left thigh for a moment, coming back with a softer slap, inching his fingers to your center. His pointer finger swirled your clit relentlessly, and your breathing hitched as you were brought to even higher heights than before. His thumb joined not long after, pinching and pulling at your bud as you yelped.

You could feel the beginnings of your impending orgasm as Levi twisted and lapped your walls. The burning churn in your lower stomach became almost unbearable as Levi’s fingers worked faster at your bundle of nerves, full of purpose and intentions. Levi could feel the sudden change, your pussy clenching tighter and tight around his wet muscle. Your arousal was thicker, almost muskier as he inhaled through his nose, and Levi could swear he could drink from your core as if you were the finest of wines.

At the first blinding rush of pleasure, your body preparing itself for the intense promise of release, the ravenette removed all touch. You were gasping for air, your entire body’s nerves tingling uncomfortably. You were aching, desperate for anything.

“Look at you,” the return of Levi’s palm slapping your ass was welcomed with a smile on your face, thankful for any form of touch. “Falling apart that easy?”

You mumbled out a 'sorry', remembering his earlier warning. Apparently this was the word Levi was searching for, spinning you around and attaching his grip to your hips, slamming your sore ass on his desk, shoving his paperwork to the floor. Your eyes widened dramatically, seeing Levi’s cock fully exposed out of the zipper of his trousers. He was thick, his tip red and angry as he moved his fist over his length, a quiet groan leaving his parted lips as he relieved some of his own pent up arousal.

“Open,” he demanded, removing his hand from his dick, extending his palm to your pouty lips. You complied, letting your mouth loll open as Levi’s fingers pressed against your tongue, rolling them around to coat his digits.

He pulled them out with a pop from your lips, returning his now dripping hand to his erection, covering the entire member in your saliva. He gripped the backs of your knees after he deemed himself properly lubed up, dragging you right to edge as he positioned himself.

His grey eyes flickered up, fiery and full of lust, his voice hoarse, “You ready?”

“Yes,” you mewled, your fingers wrapping around the edge of the wood to steady yourself.

Without a moment of hesitation, Levi held your legs up as he slid his fat tip along the slick of your folds. It was so wet, so sloppy, you couldn’t contain the whimper leaving your lips as he pressed into your sopping hole. You could’ve sworn you felt your soul attempt to leave your body as he slid in, resting his tip right against your sweet spot once he was fully sheathed, your eyes rolling back into your skull as the mind blowing pleasure. He hadn’t completed a full thrust before you were begging for more.

“Please, please, more,” you managed out in between gasps, Levi rolling his hips backwards.

“You want more?” he chided, ramming himself so hard, the two of you bounced from the impact. You nodded, unable to voice a single word, drool threatening to escape your lips. His fist left the comfort of your bent knees, coming up to squish your cheeks together, a dribble of spit glistening against your pout, “You’ll answer me when I ask you a question, brat.”

“Yes! More!” you strangled out, muffled from his grip on your face. He let go, placing a very soft pat to your cheekbone, almost as a reward.

“Atta’ girl,” Levi’s gaze turned dark as his eyes traveled from your eyes to the column of your neck. How pretty would you look with his fist wrapped around your throat?

The thought was threateningly persuasive as Levi found himself doing just that, squeezing the sides of your neck as he began to piston his cock between your folds. The sounds of slapping skin and your pussy squelching had you panting loudly, Levi’s fingers pressing harder into the sides of your throat. It felt so good, good wasn’t even the word to describe it. In fact, there weren’t any words in your brain at all, too consumed by the visuals of the ravenette plowing hard into you.

His hand left your throat upon seeing your eyes begin to flutter, his concern for your ability to breathe over taking his lust. Instead, he circled both his arms under your back, bringing you up into a folder position against his chest. He placed open mouth kisses along the curve of your shoulder, licking and sucking at any skin he could reach. Your ankles hooked around his waist, and you couldn’t hold yourself back from slipping a hand to your aching clit.

“Kiss me,” you pleaded into Levi’s neck as your middle finger rubbed hard at your clit, your thick slick coating the pad. You got curious, letting your hand trail further down, exploring the motion of his cock pummeling into you.

“Put your hands on my back, and maybe I will,” he growled out, displeased that he wasn’t the one bringing you total and complete pleasure.

You followed his orders with speed, his head navigated out of the crook of your neck, capturing your lips with a hasty passion. He tasted sweetly sour, the lingerings of your essence resting in the crevices of his lips, but still, you couldn’t get enough of his kiss. When his hand finally left the middle of your spine, and began to travel down to your center, you could feel the bubbles of climax igniting back in your stomach.

“Levi,” you moaned into his mouth as his fingers moved at lightning speed against your nerves, timed nearly perfectly with the pattern of his thunderous thrusts. The desk was squeaking loudly against the floor as he continued to pound into animalistically, moving it slightly with every move.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, gonna’ cum,” you swallowed his words as he somehow sped up his movements, driving you straight to your climax.

You couldn’t even warn him, you barely had time to realize you were cumming yourself. It almost hurt how tightly you had clenched his cock as the pleasure nearly blinded you, unable to hold back swears and moans. Levi kissed you harder, and upon feeling your contractions swallowing him whole, your plush walls pulling his tip right up against your cervix, his hips staggered and his knees buckled.

Levi’s brain went blank as his orgasm was ripped from him, “Fuck, fuck!”

Levi should’ve felt embarrassed at the noises that left his mouth, whimpers and soft moans exiting his throat as he came hard. It was almost too much, the feeling of your wet heat wrapping around his most intimate part, the closeness of your bodies, although still fairly clothed, had his heart hammering in his ears.

When you came down from your highs, all you could was stare at each other in astonishment, breathing heavily into each other’s mouths. He rested his sweaty forehead against yours, fluttering his eyelashes shut as he kissed you gently. You let out a sleepy giggle, your body entirely spent. His hand finally left the sensitive skin of your clit, wrapping your fingers around the back of your head as his kiss deepened.

When he finally slid his softened length out of the depths of your pussy, you were hissing at the fluttering of soreness intruding your pelvis. Levi shot you an apologetic look, kissing your forehead.

“Does this mean I can still be your assistant?” you mumbled, a small smile on your face as Levi reached down to pull his pants up.

His head tilted back as an uncharacteristic laugh bubbled out, flashing you a mischievous smile, “Get yourself cleaned up, and meet me back in my office. I still don’t believe you’re actually sorry.”

LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.

[omg-imatotalmess]

Pet Names

Hey guys! I have had the headcanon that George would turn into a puddle when you call him something sweet, and my hypothetical question got lots of positive responses. So, here I am, yet again, offering a subby boy because that’s my specialty. Hope y’all enjoy!

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Requested: No

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids!), sub!George, dom!reader, pet name kink, praise kink, oral sex (male receiving), fingering, riding, swearing

                                                            ---

There was one thing about dating George Weasley that was an absolute fact: George loved pet names. Of course, you knew that to a degree. Since you started dating, it had become a rarity that he called you by your given name. You would have hated it from anyone else. Pet names typically weren't your thing, but you couldn't bring yourself to hate them when his voice dripped with sweetness. However, it never really occurred to you that he might want you to use them too. It wasn't until the two of you were lying on a couch in the Room of Requirement that you even thought about it. 

Snuggled up to his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he dozed, you began to reflect on the whole pet name situation. He always had something sweet on the tip of his tongue while you only ever called him George. Georgie, if you were feeling particularly affectionate. You wondered if it bothered him that you didn't have a cute name for him. It wasn't like he'd ever asked, but sometimes he had trouble asking for things that he thought were embarrassing without joking about it. He always gave you delightfully cheesy nicknames when people were around that could easily be brushed off as joking. So maybe the embarrassment thing was the case. He just didn't exactly know how to ask. 

"I can hear the wheels turning in your head, sweetheart," George said, breaking you from your musings. 

"Sorry, go back to sleep," you said, nuzzling his neck affectionately. 

"Wasn't sleeping before anyway. Even if I was, what goes on in that brain of yours has to be more interesting," he said. Smiling, you rolled completely on top of him so you could see him better. "Well, hello there." 

"You caught me. I was thinking again," you said. 

"Were you thinking about me?" 

"Why, yes, in fact, I was." 

"How embarrassing. Do you have a crush on me or something, love?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

"You're an idiot," you said fondly. "Really, though, I wanted to ask you something." The playfulness drained from his face immediately as he adopted a more serious expression. He almost looked a little worried. Smiling, you leaned forward and pressed a kiss between his furrowed brows in an attempt to make the wrinkle go away. 

"Is something wrong?" he asked. 

"No, I was just thinking about the nickname thing," you said. Your answer did nothing to relieve the expression. 

"Don't you like them? I'll call you something else if you want." You shook your head. 

"Actually, I was wondering if you wanted me to call you something else. Do you want cute names too?" you asked. George shifted under you, his expression morphing into one you'd become incredibly familiar with. A bright red flush bloomed over his cheeks as an almost concerningly wide grin pulled at his lips. 

"Thought you'd never ask snookums!" he laughed nervously, "Here I thought you were about to let Ron and Hermione out cute us. Personally, I think you should go for something like 'the sweetest love of my life and future husband.' The whole phrase. Just to prove them that we're the cuter pair." As he rambled, you found yourself becoming more and more amused by his expert avoidance of your eyes. 

"George?" Your voice was gentle but prodding, cutting his nervous speech short. Blinking, he offered another nervous laugh. 

"Yes, darling, sweetness, light of my life?" he asked. 

"Breathe," you said. 

"Right. I'll live a lot longer if I do that," he said, pulling in a steadying breath. Smiling, you ran your fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe him further. 

"Now, as much as I truly do like 'the sweetest love of my life and future husband,' it's kinda a mouthful," you said. 

"That's what she said," George rattled off automatically. 

"Jesus, I didn't mean to fluster you so bad. I'm sorry, sunshine," you said, testing the name.

And he whimpered. It was just a soft, breathy little sound. One you would have missed if you hadn't quite literally been laying on his chest. You weren't even sure if he was aware he'd done it, but, Christ, were you happy he did. That one little sound told you so much. Not to mention the way his fingers squeezed needily at your hips and that his eyes seemed to lose focus. Suddenly, you felt like you were taking up his entire field of vision. Nothing beyond you existed. Not to him. All that for just one simple word. 

"You like, sunshine?" you asked. 

"I dunno if it has the same ring as, uh, as whatever it was that I said, but it's alright," he said, squirming under your penetrating gaze. 

"Just alright? You want something else?" you teased.

"If you-if you think you can c-come up with something better," he stuttered. 

"Okay, baby boy," you purred.

If you thought sunshine had done it for him, baby boy blew that out of the water. A shiver tore through his body right down to his fingertips as his mouth dropped open into a quiet moan. Despite the low volume, the sound echoed in your ears. It dripped with pure need. As though he couldn't go another second without you touching him. The cherry flush that bloomed high in the apples of his cheeks swooped over the tips of his ears. He was beautiful. Enticing. And you were only human. Leaning forward, you traced your tongue up the shell of his ear, biting it lightly. 

"That better?" you muttered against his ear. Pulling back, you watched as George opened and closed his mouth, fishing for anything to say in response. He wasn't having much luck, just spitting out collections of sounds that didn't quite resemble words. 

"Come on, baby boy, use your words," you said, cupping his cheek and rolling your thumb over his bottom lip. 

"Yes." His voice cracked on the word. 

"Good boy," you said, smirking like a well-fed cat, "Now, how 'bout we get you out of those clothes. I wanna see all of my pretty baby." 

"Please," he breathed. Carefully, you repositioned yourself, so you had full access to his clothing. You only managed a couple of buttons before his much larger hand curled around one of yours. Before you could ask him what was wrong, he brushed a tender kiss over your knuckles. 

"I love you, (Y/N)," he said. Smiling, you pulled his hand to your mouth and returned the gesture. 

"I love you too," you replied. 

With your hand back, you made quick work of his shirt. You pushed it open and took in the lightly freckled expanse of his chest. His skin was a swirl of cinnamon-colored constellations. You trailed your fingers across them, admiring the trail of goosebumps the left behind. George was lovely. Devastatingly so. Bringing your head down, you followed the same path your fingers had taken, stopping briefly to lap at his nipples. He whined softly at the attention, tangling his hands in your hair. 

"You're so beautiful," you said. 

You kissed up his chest to his lips, and he tilted his head to meet you. His lips pressed hungrily to your own. The faint taste of honey teased your senses as you dipped your tongue into his mouth. You loved that he always managed to taste sweet. Lightly, you ran your tongue over his own, savoring that elusive sweetness for as long as you could. Slipping your hand down to rub him through his pants, you were surprised to find him fully hard. Even though you'd barely touched him, he was straining against his zipper. 

"(Y/N)," he whimpered against your mouth. 

"I bet that's uncomfortable. You want me to take care of that, baby boy?" you asked, popping the button. 

"Please. Please take care of it," he begged, bucking his hips into your hand. Without responding, you pushed his pants down to his thighs while trailing burning kisses down his torso. You pressed a kiss to each of his hip bones before wrapping your hand around his cock. Giving it a few long, slow strokes that had him bucking into your hand, you looked up at him. 

"Tell me what you want," you said. 

"Your mouth. Please, (Y/N)," he said quickly. 

"Anything for my sweet baby boy," you said. 

Slowly, you dragged your tongue from the base to the tip, paying special attention to the ridge of the head. A low moan sounded above you. You took a moment to appreciate the sound before sinking his cock into your mouth. His hips bucked, and you gagged slightly. Breathing softly through your nose, you gripped his hips tightly to keep him from doing it again. You bobbed your head slowly, running your tongue along the vein on the underside of his cock. 

"C'mon, don't tease," George begged, straining against your restrictive grip. 

You didn't say anything but picked up the pace slightly. Removing on hand from its place on his hip, you fondled his balls and teased lightly at his perineum. His hips flexed wildly against your hand. It only took swallowing around him once before he was calling out warnings and groaning loudly into the open air. You pulled off before he could cum, ignoring the disappointed whine. 

"Wanna come. Please, (Y/N), I wanna come so bad," he cried, bucking into the air looking for friction. 

"I know, baby boy," you said, shimmying out of your pants. "I wanna be ridding you when you do, but you gotta prep me first. Can you do that for me? Can you finger me until I'm nice and open for you, baby boy?" 

"Uh-huh," he said, fumbling for the lube that appeared on the table. Turning, you presented yourself to him, so he had better access. Gentle as always, he sunk a long finger into you. 

"That's my good boy," you sighed. As he fingered you open, he pressed open-mouthed kisses to the backs of your thighs. You wrapped your hand around his cock again, stroking it in time with the thrusts of his fingers. Then he curled them a bit. 

"There! That's it," you mewled, rocking back against him. 

"More!" He obediently added another finger. 

"Am I making you feel good?" he asked, his voice hoarse. Whether it was from moaning or just from the idea that he was bringing you pleasure, you couldn't tell. 

"So good," you said. You felt his cock twitch in your hand, and he shivered. 

"Close," he whimpered. 

"Let me sit on your pretty cock, baby boy," you purred. Almost reluctantly, he slipped his fingers from you, and you positioned yourself over him. Neither of you was interested in waiting long. Once he was fully seated inside you, you could already feel him shivering with the effort not to cum. 

"Move?" It came out as a question. Both asking your permission and begging you to ride him until he was shaking with overstimulation. 

Picking up your hips, you dropped them back slowly. You savored the slight burn of the stretch. Hands quickly found your hips. And then you were moving. You weren't sure if he'd thrust up into you or if you'd started this pace on your own. You didn't care. It didn't matter when he was hitting that spot inside you just right. 

"So good, baby boy! Right there!" you cried. 

"So tight. So good. Wanna cum! Please can I cum?" he begged, digging his fingers into your hips in a way that would definitely bruise. 

Pulling his chin up with two fingers, you kissed him like your life depended on it. Tongues tangled sloppily, your teeth clicked together, and the angle was a little off considering the constant motion. Still, you couldn't bring yourself to care with him, whining obscenities into your mouth. Begging to cum so prettily. If you were a little meaner or not so desperate yourself, you'd draw it out a little longer. Maybe next time. Separating with a wet pop, you smoothed your thumb across his spit-slick, swollen lips. 

"Are you gonna be a good boy and cum for me?" you asked. He nodded, hooded eyes staring at you pleadingly. 

"Close, close, please," he whined, dropping his head forward to your chest.

"Cum, baby boy." With a long, low moan, he was gone. He pounded sloppily into you with uncontrolled thrusts, wrapping his arms around your back to pull you impossibly closer. Between that and the sight of his utterly wrecked expression, you went tumbling over the edge after him. Your own shout of pleasure shook the room. Your thighs trembled with the force of it. For a second, you swore, you stopped breathing. 

"Holy fuck," you panted as you came down from your high. 

"Felt pretty holy to me," George said, leaning heavily against the arm of the couch. 

"When I find my brain, I'll say something witty," you said. You let him slip out of you, opting to ignore the mess running down your thighs in favor of laying against his chest again. 

"Anytime you wanna do that again, I'd happily oblige, love," he said. 

"You just fucked my brain across the room while I called you baby boy, and you're already thinking about round two?" you snorted.  

"Should I not be?" Well, round two did sound pretty good. 

"Give me a hot minute, and I'll get right on that, sunshine." You didn't miss the love in his dark eyes as he gazed down at you with a crooked grin. Or the way his cock twitched in interest.  

[subwaysurf45]

Winter Makes Ice (Ep.5)

Summary:  you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title.

Words: 4344

Episode: five

Warning: violence, nudity, needles, descriptions of injury

Masterlist! Winter Makes Ice Episode: Four

Time: unknown

Date: unknown

You knew they had full control over you. There was nothing you could do even though you were conscious all the time, your body did what they wanted but your brain screamed against it. There were times where they’d ask you to do the impossible, they’d make you climb the tallest tree in the forest that surrounded the building and then make you jump down without anything to catch you, you’d land and your ankle would break; the worst was when they told you to break it back in place. 

It was like you were sat in a large chair as you watched your life unfold in the cell, your wrists were strapped to this imaginary chair so you couldn’t reach out to block the punch, ankles were clasped so you couldn’t run away. You never became lucid, it was always you watching through the shell of your body. Crying yourself to sleep wasn’t an option, you weren’t allowed to cry, or laugh, or scream, or smile; you were dead on the outside. The feeling of control was so close but yet so far away. 

There was a moment, just a moment. More I.C.E. had just been injected as you hung from the cuff restraints, you swung lightly as you dangled there. The cell door closed and the silence you were left with was getting louder by the second, your brain starting to pound like it always did and right at the back of your head near the bottom began to pulse, like you were being stabbed. The pain, hunger, exhaustion built up until that one moment, your eyes were slowly closing but as they closed you could see something right in front of you, something was moving. You couldn’t reach out to touch it because you were chained but as you crossed your eyes all you saw was a little black thing slightly swinging with you. 

It was the tip of your nose. 

Your fingers had also begun to blacken, it was about to hit your first knuckle. 

That was when you let the control fully go to the I.C.E. flowing in your veins, the power to keep yourself above water was only getting more and more tiring. No one had tried to save you so they probably were never going to come. Part of you thought Bucky would be there in less than a day, he’d break walls and towers for you, but it might have just been words to make you think he loved you, just sounds put together as a fake. 

Time: 6:10am

Date: October 3rd 2024

“Darling, It’s me, It’s Bucky, you’re safe now.” Bucky spoke softly, he flickered between your eyes and nose. You didn’t say anything, just looked right through him. “I will not fight you, but we need to get out of here, we have to go.” He urged, right when he finished talking you stepped forward, he was shocked to see you move, it was rigid and robotic. “Baby, explain what’s going on, please baby?” Bucky stepped forward and reached out, his hand lightly touched your shoulder but he studied your face as he did so. Your nose would have scrunched up but with the lack of that it was just your eyebrows that pulled together. Bucky looked around the room to try and find any sign of how to get you out of your trance; the papers he flicked through were now getting thoroughly read through. All you did was stare at him, waiting for a command. 

“Bucky, it’s all clear down here, some got away though,” Steve breathed heavily as he spoke through the coms. “There's this guy who looked to be the head and he got away, didn’t get a good look at him.” 

Bucky turned to you, “who’s the leader here?”

“No one gave their name.” You answer quickly. 

“What did he look like?” Bucky left the papers and walked to you, he grabbed a lab coat on the way to cover your scared and naked body. 

“Slick black hair. Black eyes. Heart shaped face. No facial hair. Slit through his left eyebrow. Hydra ring on his finger.” Your eyes closed as you computed the man who poured the ice water on you multiple times. “Height: six foot. Weight: around one eighty. Scars, markings, tattoos: none.” Bucky watched you in shock, “any other specifics, James?” 

“N-no, well done.” He nodded and threw the coat around you, “we’re going to leave now, okay?” Bucky took your hand and led you toward the door. 

Your feet tread silently while Bucky’s combat boots echoed three times down the grey hallway, it scared you every time he’d step. With every loud sound came a hard punch, it was a way for you to brace yourself when they’d catch you talking about your past life. As you walked closer to the doors your fingers found their way to the walls, still grey like the floor but clean, the floor was covered in dead bodies and blood from the invasion. 

The doctors and agents you knew were slumped over against the wall or splayed out in the middle of the hallways, some people’s blood had congealed while others still created a larger pool around the Hydra operatives. The smell of death didn’t read on your face but it did on Bucky’s, the smell of the inside of your cell just carried out here it seemed like. You were unaware of your smell, part of you thought it was the lack of nose but the other knew it was the lack of fresh air and being surrounded by copious amounts of blood. 

“Where to, Sergeant Barnes?” the feeling of someone holding your hand was foreign, his thumb kept swiping back and forth.

“Call me Bucky,” he looked back with sorrow in his eyes. You stopped walking and lowered your head, “what are you doing?” he asked. 

“Waiting for punishment,” you spoke softly, knowing they went easier on you if you knew you messed up. There’d be times where you’d push your luck and stare them down but once you grew tired of being tough you head would bow and you waited for the strike, it was now a reaction to any type of dissatisfactory.

“No, no punishment anymore,” his eyes filled with tears and he brought you under his arms, his lips kissed the crown of your head as he opened the doors. He kept you under his arm as he opened them, metal arm gripping right on your forearm. 

The sun was barely meeting the surface and yet you had to squint to adjust, everything had a hue of red. The grass felt foreign under your bare feet as you stepped off the tiles and into nature, your toes gripped the leaves and grass as they walked. Your lungs felt like they were about to explode with the intake of fresh air, your nose could still work but it was slightly harder to breathe, the cool wind blew into your mouth and gripped the back of your throat which made you double over to the cough. Your knee popped out of the front slit on the closed lab coat, you were used to feeling naked and vulnerable; Bucky was the one to close it again. 

Steve, Wanda, and Nat all stood by the jet.

Wanda screamed your name and ran up to you, her arms pulled you into a tight hug but you curled in and waited for the strike. She pulled away and the feeling of rigidness, “y/n?” She questioned, her hand coming to cup your cheek but you stepped back and held your hand up for protection. Wanda brought her hands into her chest, she looked between Bucky and you but Bucky just shook his head with a few tear tracks present on his face; Wanda was beginning to develop her own after she looked back at you before turning away. 

You didn’t really know why everyone was crying, “Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximof.” your head slightly bowed, you looked over her to see the others behind her shoulder, “Captain Steve Rogers and Natasha Rominoff, a pleasure.” Their faces seemed worried and Nat looked disgusted, she brought her hand to cover her mouth as she walked up the steps to the jet. 

Wanda got your attention again, “hello, we’re going to take you home, alright?” Wanda took your hand, “do you remember me?” 

“From?” was all you said as you made it into the jet. Wanda covered sob with her hand as she turned away from you to sit beside Nat, she was also crying.

Steve didn’t even look at you, he walked straight to Bucky. Steve caught him right as Bucky’s knees were buckling, Bucky caught onto Steve and they both slowly made it to the ground. It seemed like they guided each other, both holding onto one another for dear life. It was a common understanding, grief was written on both of them. 

“She’s fucking gone, Steve!” Bucky cried into Steve’s uniform, the blue turning navy with the tears. “She called me James! She doesn’t know who I am, I can't- I don know- what did they-”

“Bucky, it’s alright,” Steve calmed him as Bucky began to hyperventilate, “we’re going to get her back, I promise.” Steve gripped onto Bucky’s shoulders and they both stood, a little wobbly but both were extremely tired and light headed. “I’ll handle everything,” they walked to the jet, “just be there for her and I figure everything else out, alright?” Steve made Bucky look at him. 

“Sure…” was all Bucky could muster. 

They all made it to the jet, you were placed in a room off to the right. Bucky went right in there to see you curled on the ground when there was an examination table in the middle of the room, he kneeled beside you and ghosted a hand down your shin to try and get your attention. 

“It’s Bucky, let’s sit up on the table, okay?” Bucky eased but you didn’t move, his eyes closed as he fought with himself. He didn’t want to abuse your injected substance, but he really needed you on the exam table to check your wounds. “On the exam table.” he didn’t speak harshly or yell, it was just Bucky’s normal tone. 

You shot up instantly and sat on the edge of the table, your legs hung off it and the lab coat was forgotten, it was still around you but it seemed you were told to be naked so often it became second nature. Bucky turned toward you and stood between your legs so he could get a good look at you, he could tell you were staring deep into his eyes, he didn’t want to look in yours yet, he wanted to look you deep in the eyes and have you pull him in for a kiss, maybe it was selfish but he needed it. 

“I’m going to do something called a head-to-toe check,” he informed but he knew you knew what this was. He slipped on the disposable gloves, “I know you have cuts and scars but I need to find active bleeding first, alright?” Bucky held up his hands to show nothing was on the gloves. “Tell me if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“Nothing is-”

“That’s an order.” Bucky added, “I’m commanding you to tell me if you don’t want me touching somewhere,” he knew he had checked you, there might be a way you could find a loophole in his command and get him further from a checkmate but he was making progress. 

His hands gently tapped all around you, he was asking questions as he did so but you didn’t answer any of them. You were now looking straight forward, when Bucky looked to your face for any sign of his girl you’d give no hints or answer. His hands worked down to your chest, he hesitated over your breasts but you gave no indication that you were uncomfortable, when he looked for bumps, bruises, or blood he didn’t find much, just scratch marks that looked old. He did the same when he hit your waist, not a lot of touching but looking, it wasn’t thorough but he knew you wouldn’t say anything and he might trigger you again. 

His gloves weren’t picking up much, most cuts were partly healed and the bruises were very noticeable. Part of a head-to-toe check is seeing how the victim reacts to the pressure, if you tap their stomach and they flinch it could be internal bleeding or a broken rib, but you weren’t giving any sign of hurt. He knew you could feel the broken bones and the bruises but you would never tell him in the mindset you’re in. he watched for little twitches in the eye or some type of pull away from him wherever he touched, Bucky wanted to reach in and find your brain so that you could tell him what hurts; he wanted to help you so bad. 

“Do you know how long you’ve been gone?” Bucky asked as he picked up your left leg, turning and examining it. He found a deep red mark on the edge of a purple bruise on your ankle, there was the exact same one on the other and on your wrists. He pushed away your hair and moved the lab coat back to find a massive bruise with cuts all around your neck, it was impeccable your vocal chords weren’t fried after being put in that cuff contraption. 

“Gone from where?” you asked robotically, you didn’t even look at him. 

Bucky was taken back by your answer, he stumbled with his hands as he switched legs. “F-from home, y/n. Shield, home?” 

“Hydra is my home, it was where I was created.” your head turned to allow your eyes to lock with Bucky’s. 

Part of him wanted to scream and shake your head so hard it might knock a memory back in place, he wanted to tell you of your story and how you both grew. Bucky wanted to tell you about the drawings you do with Steve or the boxing in the early mornings, he wanted to overflow you with emotions but he knew they’d hit a brick wall. 

Bucky finished his exam but he needed to keep you for himself for a little longer, he pretended to check your pupils and pulse three more times but all he wanted was to feel the warmth of your skin. His eyes would catch the tip of your nose swinging as he moved you slightly, he had an entire set of questions just for that. But he just kept looking at you for no reason. He’d ask if you’re cold and you’d say no, he’d ask if you were hungry and you’d say no. he’d ask if you were thirsty, you’d say no. 

So he stopped asking, “drink this water.” He pulled the little water bottle from the back of his belt loop, the little tear drop shaped bottle fit perfectly in her hands. 

You grasped the frosted bottle, it seemed familiar to you. You never got water in your cell, you’d have to suck on the floor after the doctor left; they’d always wake you up by dumping ice water on your head. Calloused fingers gripped and felt the bottle, something was happening in your brain that you couldn't quite understand, you were feeling something deep within you. 

“Drink.” Bucky said again. 

“Wait,” you whispered, all you saw was black form shutting your eyes so tight. You didn’t see Bucky’s face as he waited to see if this water bottle would trigger something from right before you were taken, this was the water bottle you had introduced to the group. 

A picture was unfolding in your head, it was a big room with people all around. There was a couch that some were sitting on while one stood in front of them, the one standing was smiling. The people on the couch were leaned in to listen, some held their chin in their hand as they too, were also smiling. The little bottle of water you were holding was also in this picture, the one standing seemed to be presenting it like a game show host, showing it off as if it was new. The picture began to move and the people standing took a seat next to another person, they cuddled close and began whispering to each other with iggles in between. A pen made its way across the couch and ended up at the two who looked like a couple, one wrote a heart next to their name while the other did it normally. 

Your eyes shot open at the sound of the pop, you were squeezing the bottle so hard it exploded. Your eyes frantically searched around and when they landed on the other set of eyes in the room you lunged for a hug. 

“Bucky!” you screamed, “thank you!” You wrapped your arms around him so tight. Bucky hesitated before clinging to you like a life source, “I thought it would’ve taken you longer,” you sighed into his touch. 

“We left you there for too long,” Bucky whispered, his face his deep in your neck.

You pulled away with tears in your eyes, you looked to him but he kept looking down, “is there something on my nose?” you asked, Bucky was looking between your eyes and nose. Your finger went to touch but pulled away at the feeling of something dangling, “what is that?” you screamed and felt it again. 

“It’s the injection side effect, I think.” Bucky added he felt around your face to try and see if you were actually real or if this was some sick joke Wanda was playing on him. 

“What injection? They just took my blood once so far,” you shrugged and felt the back on your head, “there was a scab there before, it hurts like crazy, like a pulsing thing.'' You brought your other hand back to try and find that scab you felt what seemed like hours ago. Your hair felt dirtier than the last time you remembered, it was one big clump when you moved it.

“Sit down.” Bucky said, you moved back on the seat without a second thought.

With wide eyes you looked up to Bucky, “I didn’t want to sit...Bucky what did you do?” you asked, it looked like you were glued there as you tried to get off. 

“What day is it?” Bucky asked cautiously, his hands coming back to cup your face. 

“September twenty third, I didn’t hit my head it’s not a con-”

“It's October third.” Bucky breathed out, “oh my god…” he whispered and pulled you into another hug, he gently rubbed your back as you stayed rigid in his hold. 

The plane began to drop and Bucky knew it was just landing but with everything rushing against you like a title wave it felt like the plane was crashing. Bucky held you tight as you slashed around in his grip, pleads to any higher power you could think of to keep you alive didn’t seem to work. The plane froze and you stayed gripped to Bucky, he brought you out of the medical room. The three others just looked at you, not wanting to get their hopes up. But when you ran over to them and asked what day it was they seemed to be more disappointed, they just pulled you in for a hug and tried to calm you down like Bucky did. 

All at once medical staff open the jet doors, people rushing to you and you. Bucky was trying to cut through the crowd to get to you but medical staff were getting in the way and holding him back, he could see your frantic search for him. 

“You’re gonna trigger her, s-stop, this isn’t-”

A medical staff member flew back and knocked a few others over, everyone began to calm down and slow their moments. You were right over the person you pushed trying to help them up, apologizing profusely, they kept moving back and away from you. 

“Y-you were holding a needle, I’m sorry.” you eased. 

“Sedate her!” another yelled. 

You ran down and out of the jet to try and get away from the many needles that, what seemed like, every medical member was holding. There was just noise surrounding you, vision began to tunnel right when the pounding in your ears began, at the back of your head there seemed to be a knife stabbing you. 

“Get a gurney!” the voice cut through the shouts and chasing. 

Everything stopped and you froze from your worried state to complete your mission, someone ordered you to find a gurney, you must complete it. There was one waiting outside, you walked over with your back straight and your chin up. There was no need to look behind you shoulder but you did so anyway to make sure no threats were also in need of the gurney, everyone behind you was just still and watched you. This must be a test, after that realization you did everything quickly and efficiently to avoid punishment. 

When you brought the gurney to the voice who shouted it they told you to get on as well, Bucky was by your side and offering an arm to help get on but you didn’t take it. People were shouting orders to one another and you kept trying to get up to fulfill the command but Bucky kept holding you down. Some medical staff were trying to shove him away but he stood his ground and kept a hand holding you.

“Why do I keep wanting to do all these things?” you frantically aske as you tried to stand again.

“I’ll explain later, don’t worry,” he squeezed your hand as you made it into your exam room. Hands felt all around you, the lab coat was long forgotten so you sat on the table naked. Bucky was right against the wall and kept an eye on you, though your brain was next to scrambled eggs he could still read you like a book.

“We need to take some blood, might also need to give something to sedate her.” it was, what looked like, the head of this team that spoke.

Another picture flashed before your eyes. The needles and this blue liquid that went into you. Bucky had told you something called ‘ice’ but you didn’t know what that meant. Blood would be taken from you then without you looking, they would stick whatever serum Bucky was talking about in your arm. Voices and sounds rushed into your head as these pictures moved and changed to show that you weren’t there for as long as you thought you were, in your mind a different doctor repeated the same motions over and over and over again. You were covered in water and somebody was talking over you from inside of the cell, their voice seemed as though they too were underwater so you couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but one part stood out. They were saying how they did this all without you noticing, how you were too confident, how you were strong and yet you’d look away from the needles when they were stuck into your arm. 

All of these people who you failed to remember that were surrounding you now, all had needles and some had already taken your blood, but you were going to be cautious now, you were going to be aware because you didn’t want to forget everything again. Before anyone could stick anything else in you, your arms flew out to the side and gripped as many syringes as you could, they were smashed to the ground and the clear liquid spilled and dripped on the floor. People were beginning to hold you down but you broke free from their dead grass pushing away the velcro straps that were about to go around your ankles and wrists.

Someone managed to get a strap on your left ankle without you noticing, that sensation of being cuffed made another picture float in your mind. It was a large metal contraption with silver Cuban links and five cuffs, two around your wrists, two around your ankles, and the final one went around your neck. Once they were all attached to you, you were suspended in the air as your entire body weight was being held up by your limbs and neck, even though only one bound was attached to you now, you could still feel the weight of all of it crashing back onto you. 

With one large tug the Velcro cuff snapped, you tried to get up and off the table to run to Bucky, he was the only one left in the room that you knew and trusted. He was also trying to make his way to you simultaneously, reading the fear etched deep into your eyes. No medical staff was trying to hold him back so he ripped through all of them and got to you quickly, you couldn’t really hear what he was saying because the pounding in your head that was pinpointed right at the back of your neck was starting to pound into your ears. But you could make out his lips that were moving, you can remember faintly kissing them, the feeling was on the tip of your tongue but you couldn’t quite make out what it really felt like. He was telling you it was going to be okay, at one point he said that you could sleep now and that he’d be there when you wake up, you really didn’t want to trust him but you were so tired and your head hurt so bad.

You didn’t even see or feel the syringe plunge deep into the crook of your neck as he held your face and made your eyes look right into his.

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[pikablu410]

Study Session

“Thursday at 12 sound good?” The text read

“Yeah, that works for me.” He had text back.

David took a deep breath then sighed. What had he gotten himself into? He was going on a date with a girl he met on Tinder later that day. Thankfully the date was at 6, so he had enough time to get ready before then. All he had to do now was…

“Great, you’re here! You ready to study some organic chemistry?” A painfully cheerful voice nearly shouted at him.

“Yeah, let’s get this over with.” David mumbled to himself. He didn’t even need to study for this class. Why did Steven even ask to form a study group with him? Neither of them were struggling with the materials, and David was pretty sure they both had A’s in the class. Maybe it was just because Steven wanted friends and they were both the only freshmen in their class. David wasn’t against making new friends, but Steven was just...odd. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something about Steven didn’t sit right with him.

“Alright, I’ll go get some water and snacks. You can sit down anywhere and I’ll be right back.” Steven said. David was so lost in his own thoughts he hadn’t realized he was in Steven’s room now. Freshmen were required to live on campus, but the dorms were pretty nice for a college campus. In their particular dormitory the rooms were more like apartments. Each one had a living room with a small kitchen in the middle and two bedrooms off to the sides, each with their own bathroom and enough space for two beds. 

David decided to sit down while Steven was out of the room. There were a few posters of video games and various knicknacks on the desk; a pencil sharpener, a desk lamp, a little stand-up figure, but overall the room was pretty bland given Steven’s boisterous personality.

“Alright, let’s get studying!” David heard, turning around to see Steven carrying 2 bags of chips and at least 4 water bottles. How long was he planning to study for? Steven then sat down, got out a notebook, some papers from class their professor had given them, and a few pencils. 

“If you need some materials don’t hesitate to ask. I’m here if you need anything.” Steven said. It felt weird, like Steven was trying to be really personal with him. David couldn’t put his finger on the word, but that was why he was so distant around Steven. He just pulled out his notebook and a pencil and started writing.

After some minutes of studying, David heard some sort of distorted noise. He looked down and realized it was his stomach growling. 

“Are you hungry? I got the chips out for a reason.” Steven said, pushing the bag towards David.

“I guess I am. I thought I had eaten enough before coming here.” David said, opening the bag of corn chips and taking a few out. For whatever reason, David was starting to feel starved. 

“Maybe just eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich wasn’t enough.” David reasoned to himself as he took another handful of chips. He hadn’t noticed it, but half the bag was gone just from him alone. Steven hadn’t eaten a single chip.

“I like your shirt. It goes well with your, uh, jeans.” Steven tried making conversation, pointing towards David’s plaid button-up shirt. 

“Thanks.” David simply said, grabbing another handful of chips. He had moved onto the second bag without noticing. Steven hadn’t said anything about it, just continuing to go over the content.

After about an hour of studying, David was ready to head off and prepare for his date. It was five hours away, but anything would be better than this marching through the swamp of organic chemistry. He was just looking for an excuse, for Steven to stop talking about resonance structures and ethyl substituents. Just thinking of the words made him feel ill.

However, as Steven was talking, he put his left arm around David’s back, like a cliche couple would in a movie theater. He was about to shrug it off with his arm, but he couldn’t get it to move. It was like his arm was paralyzed. David then noticed an aching sensation in his groin. He could feel his cock stiffening in his boxers, and even against the fabric of his jeans. Was he getting turned on by Steven flirting with him?

David looked over at Steven, the sensation in his pants only intensifying as he did. When had Steven looked so cute? David couldn’t take his eyes off of the boy, just listening to him ramble about some molecule they were working on. As Steven was talking, David couldn’t help but let out a moan. Steven looked surprised at first, but then a smile grew on his face. Then, Steven put his pencil down and took his hands to David’s jeans, slowly pulling them and his boxers down until David’s throbbing cock was released. It looked like it would cum just from a slight touch. “Shh, just let it happen.” Steven whispered into David’s ear. Then, he started jerking David off. David’s moans grew louder and louder, but he was trying not to cum. He had to hold on to his glasses to keep them on his face. The sane part of him knew this was wrong, that he didn’t actually like Steven like this. But as more and more doubts entered his mind, the harder it was to actually hold back.

“Just let it out. You know you want to.” Steven urged. David couldn’t take it anymore, busting his load right in Steven’s hand. Ropes of white goo burst up in the air, covering Steven’s hand, David’s legs and a bit of his jeans. He hated to admit it, but that was probably the best handjob David had gotten in his entire life. Steven got a tissue and cleaned up his hand as well as the resulting mess on David. David was just sitting back, still unable to believe that just happened.

As Steven finished cleaning up, he said, “You sound hungry. Why don’t we take a break to eat.” Steven then got up and went to the kitchen, David finding it hard not to follow. He wasn’t hungry, was he? A rumbling in David’s stomach proved that wrong, but for some reason this felt off to him. Why was he listening to Steven so intently?

The smell of parmesan and fried meat stopped David’s thoughts, realizing he was now sitting at the table near the kitchen. In front of him sat a plate of fried chicken and a separate plate of lasagna. David was hesitant to take a bite, but his growling stomach was urging him to consume.

“Don’t be shy. I made it all for you.” Steven sweetly said, pouring David a soda to drink.

David knew this was wrong. Part of his mind was screaming for him to get up and leave before this got worse. He felt so helpless and trapped, confused as to why he was doing what he was doing. 

But the larger part of David’s brain wanted to eat, and that’s exactly what he did. Grabbing a huge forkful of lasagna, David stuffed himself with the cheesy, meat-filled pasta. He moaned as he swallowed the dish, immediately going back for another bite.

“This is really good!” David nearly moaned out as he took his third bite within ten seconds of the last two. 

Steven smiled and sat down next to David, who took a large bite out of the fried chicken. It too was delicious, as if the meat fell right off the bone. He didn’t notice it, but as David ate pasta sauce and grease covered the edges of his mouth. The food was just too good to resist. So he kept eating.

And eating.

And eating.

And- how long had he been eating this lasagna and fried chicken? He must’ve been at least close to finishing by now. So why did the plates still look like they were full of food? Steven must’ve gotten up to get more, David reasoned to himself. But part of him knew something wasn’t right about this. He was too busy eating to question Steven though.

As David sat back to take a breather, he let out a huge burp. He had been drinking so much soda he hadn’t noticed how gassy he felt. David then felt a hand on his stomach, looking over to see Steven rubbing it.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you, just keep eating.” He seductively cooed.

At hearing this, David looked down to see he was now sporting a gut. He could see stretches of skin peek through his button-up, the buttons near his belly struggling to hold on. David was disgusted and wanted to get up, but he felt a familiar feeling that prevented him from leaving. 

“No, I can’t be hard again. This can’t be turning me on. I just came. I hate being fat. Why am I so hard?!” David’s mind was racing. He couldn’t help himself. He wanted so badly to leave or just wake up and leave this nightmare behind him. However, he just sat back and let Steven rub his now bulbous gut.

“It’s okay. You can let it out. You don’t have to worry with me around.” Steven once again cooed,

“You should eat. I don’t want you to go hungry.” He added on, and quickly after David was stuffing his face with more greasy chicken and lasagna. 

David’s mind was once again fighting a losing battle. Steven’s charm and the food was just too much for David to handle, and he was further plunged into gluttony against his own will.

As David took another huge mouthful of lasagna, he heard a “ping!” sound before his belly jiggled for a few seconds. The feeling was enough to push David over the edge and he came in his pants, moaning loudly as he did so. David’s mind was so overwhelmed with pleasure he was unable to think straight.

Once his mind had cleared, David had forgotten what he was worrying about. He rubbed his gut as he looked over at the empty plates that once held lasagna and fried chicken on them.

“Thanks for the meal, Steven. You know I love to eat.” David joked as he jiggled his belly a bit. It wasn’t that he wanted to be chubby, but that was just a side effect of eating so much. That didn’t stop him, though. Food was just too good to resist.

“You’re welcome. I still have more if you want.” Steven offered.

David thought for a second before impulsively saying, “Sure, why not?” It wouldn’t mess with his diet that much. Again, not like he cared. Part of him wanted to care, but it was becoming easier and easier for David to shake that worry off. If he wanted to eat, who was he to stop himself?

Steven brought a multilayered cake to the table, as well as a box of donuts, and David was already feeling himself drool at the mere sight. A milkshake was also place in front of him, instead of the soda he had before.

“If you want more, or anything different, just tell me. I’m happy to oblige.” Steven said with a smile on his face. David loved that smile. He wished he could ask Steven out...wait, no he didn’t. He had a date with a girl sometime this week. At least David thought it was sometime this week. His mind was foggy, probably from all the studying and eating. A quick nap when he got back to his room would fix that, David assured himself.

The food in front of him would have to do for now, David reassured himself. And with that he grabbed a donut, taking a huge bite out of the treat. He quickly learned they were filled with cream, which only added to the taste and pleasure of eating them. Licking the cream off his face, David grabbed another donut immediately after finishing his first. Then, he took a slice of cake, grabbing another just to satisfy himself.

As David ate, he thought he heard a noise below him. Like a noise you would hear in an old house. Leaning back to take a break, David confirmed that he was hearing creaks below him. Looking down, David noticed a larger belly than before. It swelled out into his lap, rising and falling with each deep breath he took. David counted 2 rolls that were apart of his gut, a gut that nearly reached his knees. He noticed two more missing buttons on his shirt; evidence that he actually had grown that large. That wasn’t the only result of his growth, as David could feel cool air on parts of his thighs. Sure enough when David looked at his legs, the seams of his jeans had torn to reveal flab that was stretching the fabric tight. In fact, David wasn’t even sure his jeans were covering his rear anymore, his underwear working overtime to obscure his nudity. 

At first, panic arose in David’s stomach. He didn’t want to get fatter, thinking others would be repulsed by him. For the first time at Steven’s, it seemed like David’s mind was fighting back and winning. David tried to stand up, but he didn’t realize how much energy that would take; energy he didn’t have. 

David was about to try getting up again, after a few seconds of catching his breath, but suddenly a sweet smell ran through his nostrils. In front of him a donut was being held. It was on the same level as his mouth, as if it were destined to be consumed by him. Unable to resist the smell, and the taste, David opened his mouth and devoured the pastry.

“That’s good. Keep it up. Just relax and eat.” Steven said, holding another donut for David to eat. He was now losing the battle, just as he thought there was a turnabout. He felt a hand on his gut, realizing that Steven was now massaging his belly and feeding him at the same time. David didn’t want to get up now. This was too good of an opportunity to miss. And the opportunity only got better as David felt a familiar sensation below his gut. 

The big guy started to moan, the taste of the food and Steven’s treatment of his stomach creating a pleasure previously unknown to him. Another donut, more moaning. Another donut, it got even louder. Steven had to move on to feeding David handfuls of cake. Icing got around his lips, lips that moaned even more frequently in pleasure. David was desperately trying to reach under his stomach to relieve himself, but he was struggling both due to his stomach and the resistance in his mind. He knew this would be submitting to something he’s not, but why was it so hard to resist then?

Another ping echoed throughout the room. David realized there was only one more button holding his shirt together. The last resistance.

“Why are you resisting something that makes you so happy? Admit it. You love to eat. You love growing fatter, and being fat.” Steven quietly pressured into David’s ear. 

David was holding back from moaning and let out an exasperated, “No…”

“Aww, it’s alright. You’ll change your mind soon. It’s so much better to let go than resist. Just give in.” Steven cooed again, his hand moving lower down David’s stomach. David knew what came next. He wanted to stand up and run out of there, but he felt too heavy to even move from the chair. 

David tried to say something to stop Steven, but another handful of cake stopped him. The taste clouded his train of thought, unable to resist for a few seconds. Soon after, he felt a touch on his dick, realizing it was too late to leave now. Now David let out a loud moan, his dick feeling especially sensitive to Steven’s touch.

“No...no more…” David panted out as he was jerked off.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you that well. It sounded like you said ‘more’?” Steven asked as he let David demolish another donut. David let out a moan, struggling to keep himself together.

“M...more. I...want...more…” David panted, desperate for food. His mind had all but given up now.

“That’s what I thought.” Steven whispered as he fed David another handful of cake.

Steven then held up the milkshake to David’s mouth and had him chug the creamy drink. Despite drinking from it frequently, it still felt like it was full when David was drinking it. David could feel the last button on his shirt slowly start to come undone, and sure enough he heard another ping as he finished the milkshake. Shortly after, David let loose and came from the pleasure of growing and Steven teasing his cock. Moaning louder and longer than he had all day, David covered the bottom of his belly in his sticky goo, Steven backing off to clean his hand. 

Again, David couldn’t remember what had just happened a few seconds ago. All he remembered was immense pleasure, and, after seeing two empty plates, he attributed it to that.

“Thanks for the food, Steven. And thanks for helping me gain, I don’t really have anyone else this supportive of me.” David said as he jiggled his gut. It covered his thick thighs and poured off to the sides of them a bit. His moobs were the size of porn star’s pair of breasts, and they were starting to go under his thick arms. As David felt his belly, he realized his jeans had torn off, and he could barely feel his underwear on his ass. Despite all this, David didn’t seem to mind. He seemed more relaxed and laid back than ever before.

“What are you up to now?” Steven asked, still in the kitchen.

“I actually just recently got past 600 pounds.” David said proudly.

“Nice! I think that calls for some celebration.” Steven said, pulling something out of the oven.

A few seconds later, Steven placed a deluxe, meat lover’s pizza right in front of David. The pizza took up at least three quarters of the table, and if David had to actually guess it looked to be 18 inches across. There were mushrooms, pepperonis, pieces of ground beef and tons of cheese. Steven then set down a glass of beer next to David’s plate.

“We can have a bit of fun because of this, can’t we?” Steven offered, but David didn’t need much convincing.

The big guy immediately tore a slice of the pizza off, downing half of it only to quickly follow up with a chug of beer. Steven knew David loved beer. He did love beer, right? His mind was too cloudy to remember. But as he chugged more, David let out a big belch. It surprised him at first, but David went back for another swig only to let out another belch. Steven refilled David’s glass as he went back for more pizza.

Cheese and sauce got all over his mouth and chubby cheeks. Some of it also dripped down onto his stomach, and of course it got all over his hands. David decided to lick his lips and clean up his face, but he was a little confused when he felt a bit of stubble on his face. Licking his chubby fingers off, David felt his face to in fact touch stubble on his chins, cheeks and upper lip. It was like he was growing a goatee, but David was confused as to how that happened. He was usually clean shaven, so this wasn’t there this morning. As David went to get the cheese that dripped onto his gut, he noticed that was hairier too. It was just some fuzz, but there was definitely hair growing on his chest and belly, it being more and more prevalent as he approached his crotch.

David was confused, but a slice of pizza being shoved into his mouth snapped him out of his haze. He happily ate the pizza Steven had fed him, as well as the beer Steve had him chug. David felt lucky to have such a cute friend who was willing to find him. He just wished he had the confidence to ask him out. Unfortunately, as he thought that, David let out a massive fart from his rear.

“S-sorry.” He stuttered as he went back to devouring slices of pizza.

“Don’t be. You probably liked it anyways.” Steven chuckled, getting up to refill David’s beer again.

As he thought about what Steven had said, David started to realize that Steven was right. David let out a belch, and he got immense pleasure from it. Exploding from his rear gave the same effect. Feeling his body jiggle from the vibrations, the power he felt from it and just the overall feeling made David very happy. That was one of the reasons he loved beer. It always made him gassy, and he was glad Steven didn’t seem to mind.

Going back to reach for more pizza, and more beer to drink, David continued to eat. He didn’t bother to think about how the entire pizza should’ve been gone by now, just wanting to consume the cheesy goodness. David didn’t hear the creaking emanating beneath him, too busy devouring everything placed in front of him. As he went to scoop up some cheese that fell onto his chest, the chair finally snapped and sent David to the ground. His body jiggled for nearly a minute after the shock, David letting out a huge fart to continue the sensational feeling. All the wriggling had turned David on and he could feel his dick start to grow hard just from the feeling of his body moving so.

Looking down at his body to get the cheese and sauce that fell there, David realized he had grown bigger. His stomach was pooling onto the ground, off of the sides of his thighs. And his thighs felt pretty wide, being twice as wide as a thin person’s waist. He couldn’t feel his underwear anymore, and he assumed it snapped off while he was eating. His tits felt like they were drooping off to the sides as well, and when David grabbed them he felt that his nipples were a lot more sensitive than before. If he wasn’t hard before, he definitely was now.

That wasn’t the only change, as David saw that his stomach was now covered in hairy fur. It was particularly noticeable in between his moobs, around his deepened belly button and towards the bottom of his belly, near his dick. David knew he was never this hairy, but for some reason it felt right, like it was normal. Feeling his face, David discovered that what had just been stubble before was now a full on goatee. It covered his other, fatty chins too, resulting in most of the goatee emphasizing the beard, but David was more worried about why it was there than how it looked. As David further felt his face, he realized there were bits of sauce and cheese stuck in his goatee. Instinctually, he licked around his lips to eat them, the foreign texture of his face sending surprising chills of pleasure down his spine.

“Steven! I need help!” David said, struggling to stand up. He hadn’t realized how fat he had gotten.

“What is- Oh! That was what that noise was. Congratulations on getting big enough to break something under your fat ass!” Steven cheerily said, as if David wasn’t a complete mess.

“S-Steven…” David panted, “I think I got too big. I have to be at least 800 pounds right now, and I don’t know how I got so b-big so fast. Plus, I’m all h-hairy!” Whenever he tried to get up by himself, David had to catch his breath. Steven kneeled down next to the fatty and started to rub his hairier belly. David let out a fart and started to realize what was happening, but he was too big to do anything about it.

“Don’t worry. This is what you really want. Just relax and I’ll take care of it.” Steven hypnotically said, bringing himself closer and closer to David. David knew what was going on, but it was too late now. He was never this fat, nor hairy, nor gassy. He never wanted this...or did he? His mind was in conflict. He couldn’t remember himself as anything other than a fat, hairy slob, so why was his mind fighting that reality?

“Shh, just let me take care of it and we’ll be alright.” Steven whispered as he kissed David on the lips, pushing his tongue inside the slob’s mouth. David was surprised at first, but he couldn’t help himself but to reciprocate. Feeling his tongue in Steven’s mouth set something off in him, and he no longer wanted to resist. He was Steven’s big fatty, and Steven was his feeder. They loved each other, and took care of each other. As they kissed, David came under his belly, now submitting to this reality.

As they separated, David let out a deep, long belch. Both chuckled, Steven going back to rub David’s hairy belly afterwards.

“Glad I wasn’t in your mouth for that one.” Steven joked, but David just took pride in his gassiness. They both loved it, so why should he be so ashamed?

“Can you help me up now? I-I really can’t do much on the ground here.” David joked, struggling to push himself off the ground again. Steven just giggled and helped David off the ground, grabbing him by his love handles and slowly heaving the blob up.

“I wanna do one last thing.” Steven said, winking and slowly helping David waddle to his bedroom. David was already getting excited again. He didn’t think about how he was already getting hard again, or how he had already came so many times today. He just wanted to get in bed with Steven.

However, the short walk from the kitchen to Steven’s bed had tired him out, David’s body now covered in sweat from the exertion of so much force and energy. As he sat down on Steven’s bed, the frame letting out a screeching creak in protest, he rubbed his gut to feel the sweat hair move around from his hand. The feeling didn’t feel new, and it turned him on since reminded him of how much of a slob he was.

“Alright, you know what to do.” Steven said, and as if by second-nature, David leaned on his stomach, sticking his fat ass out as he laid there. Steven smiled, stripping himself before getting behind David. 

“Time to have you finally submit to being my fat piggy.” Steven said before plunging himself into David’s rear. David let out a loud moan, new images flashing through his mind. He imagined himself as a skinny guy, but it quickly faded from his memory. He saw images of himself making out with girls, and dressing up for dates with them. Those too, faded. They were replaced by images of David, butt naked, plunging his face into a wedding cake. Of going out to fast food restaurants and clearing the places out. Of getting drunk, growing fatter, and pigging out at parties in high school.

“Admit it!” Steven shouted, which snapped David out of his trance. “Admit that you’re my fat pig!” Steven shouted again. 

Moaning from all that was racing through his mind, David nearly fell into the pool of sweat beneath him.

“I’m…” David moaned out, trying to focus within all the pleasure, “I’m…a fat...piggy…” Letting out another, gargantuan moan, David came for the fifth time that day before collapsing on the bed. Steven got off the bed and went back out to the kitchen.

“I’m...yours...” David admitted before letting out a huge fart, then a belch. He was Steven’s fat piggy, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

But something still bothered him. Wasn’t he supposed to do something with Steven? Another belch removed that thought from his head, David passing out from exhaustion until his next meal.

[navegandoaciegas]

Hay(wire)

Kinktober 1/31 : quickie, face fucking, facial.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: smut, explicit language, unprotected vaginal sex, sex in a barn, oral sex, facial, set after the events of CA:TWS.

Yeah, I actually did it 💀

A/N: day 1 of @itgetsdarksometimes35 spooky challenge + Kinktober.

Bucky despises you.

He loathes how his heart rate picks up whenever he sees you, or how the pit in his stomach grows larger when he doesn't. He can’t stand the way the other farmers talk about you and look at you, but mostly he hates how you bite your lips and clench your thighs when he catches you staring, the tangy scent that floods his senses when he’s close to you, and how you never question why an American veteran would be picking hayballs in the Romanian countryside.

He hates your kindness, the way you hang onto his every word when he describes the night sky, your stained hands and the flowers you weave in your hair, your nipples showing through your white t-shirts, his blood draining from his brain and shooting straight to his cock just looking at you.

You bring out the beast, the soldat lingering inside some recess in his mind, the side of him that wants to own you, and ruin you for everyone else.

You bother him, talking and being nice. Smiling. Cracking jokes. Eating your lunch with him when the other boys are too afraid to approach him. Filling the silence with your stories while he munches on buni’s sarmalele and merely grunts in acknowledgement. Bringing him water when he sweats buckets under the sweltering sun. Shamelessly flirting like you find him attractive.

As if a pretty girl like you could ever want him, he thinks, with the stench of horse shit clinging to his skin and oozing out of his pores.

He scoffs at himself, and stacks another hayball, willing himself to forget all about you.

-

You know he hears your steps on the cobblestones before you enter the barn where he’s stacking hay in neat piles, like he always does before going to bed.

“You can continue this tomorrow, I’m sure buni won’t mind if you take a break.” you quip, closing the door and leaning on the wooden stall.

You eye his tanned skin, reddened by the scorching August sun, the strain on his sweaty long sleeved t-shirt that clings to his bulging biceps, the outline of his back muscles as his chest heaves.

There’s something animalistic about him, something that makes your stomach churn and your pussy tingle. When his t-shirt trails up, you can’t help but observe the hard planes of his abs and the coarse, black hair that trail them.

“I’m doing what she pays me for, and so should you.”

He dismisses you with a curt nod as he keeps lifting the hay and stacking it away for the winter.

By that time, you’ll both be long gone, so you might as well make the most of what you have.

“I’m done picking plums, if you must know.” you state, an unimpressed look making its way on your face. “You work twelve hours everyday, and you won’t drink her țuică or smoke the cigarettes she gives the other boys.” you say, approaching him slowly until you’re standing in front of him, so close you can see the darkness in his eyes and smell his pungent sweat, “She worries about you, you know.”

Your eyes stray from his, traveling down to his plump lips. He swallows thickly and inhales a sharp breath.

“I worry too.” you continue, stalking closer.

His manly, musky scent is intoxicating, and you feel short of breath, heat and slick pooling in your panties.

“Always working, never having any fun. Life must be very lonely for you.”

There’s static energy, or maybe magic, between you two.

“My life’s just fine.”

He’s gruff as always, but you hear his voice waver when his eyes drop to your own lips, and he finds them parted, and so inviting.

You shrug, feeling your skin crawl with anticipation, want, need. “I know, I’m just saying, I could make it less… lonely.”

You see him cave. You know he wants you, and he’s never exactly subtle about it. But when your hand reaches for his left arm, the spell shatters, the air gets sucked out of the little barn, and the growl that he lets out terrifies you and excites you at the same time.

“Stay the fuck away from me.” he snarls, snatching his arm away from you. He looms over you, rage burning behind his steel blue eyes. “Or-”

He interrupts himself, taking a step back and restraining whatever wild instinct is clouding his judgement. The veins on his neck swell up, and the smirk on your lips and your tangy smell only add to his irritation.

You know you shouldn’t prod. You know he could crack your skull in half without breaking a sweat.

But you’ve also seen him bathed in spring’s pollen, cooing at newborn chicks and patting their feathers, whispering soft words in a language you don’t speak. You’ve seen him kissed by the summer’s sunrise, leaning his head on uică Dan’s horse while petting his mane, and humming to mătușă Ana’s cow while milking her.

You’ve seen him sneak outside your room every morning for the past two months to leave wildflowers on your doorstep, and you know he’s the one who carries you to your bed when you fall asleep on the deck chairs outside, after stargazing together for hours, and pecks a lingering kiss on your forehead, whispering to you, his sweet girl, to sleep tight.

So no, you’re not afraid, and very turned on.

“Or what, big guy? What are you going to do?”

Jaw clenched, fists so tight his knuckles are white, nostrils flared. He closes his eyes, heaves a heavy sigh and mutters a ‘fuck that’ under his breath, and in a blur he’s on you.

But he’s not hitting you, no.

Just like you predicted, he goes haywire, feral, his mouth is on yours, his tongue prods your lips, his hands roam everywhere, tangling your hair and kneading the flesh of your ass.

He bites your bottom lip, and you taste metal on your tongue. A moan escapes you when one of his thick thighs comes between your own, and your core rubs against the rough material of his jeans.

“Took you long enough.” you tease him when he allows you to catch your breath.

He’s sweaty, rough, his clothes soiled by the ground he spends his days working on, and you find that you don’t care, that you want him to dirty you and ruin you in this barn, with hay poking your skin and cicadas screaming outside.

You’re staring at each other, panting, eyes swallowed by darkness.

He doesn’t answer, never speaks much anyways. He’s on you again, his hand on your throat, and it doesn’t hurt but it’s tight enough to make its threatening presence known.

Your walls flutter around nothing.

The other hand, splayed on your back, guides you as you grind yourself on his thigh. It’s been two months of sexual tension, and it’s about to explode.

You reach for his t-shirt, eager to feel his skin against yours, but he stops you, and the look in his eyes, hard yet pleading, is enough to make the protest die in your throat.

Your own shirt is discarded, maybe shred to pieces. His touch is bruising and desperate as he explores your body like it’s his last day on Earth.

He nips and sucks your skin, surely leaving dark marks behind, rolling and pinching your nipples between his fingers, swirling his tongue around them until you’re pushing him off of you.

“I need you.” you moan, shrieking when his teeth bite down on your shoulder.

Pain is a bucket of cold water on your burning skin, a contrast to the pleasure he brings you, and yet it doesn’t diminish it, but amplify it until his teeth on your flesh are all you want.

He lets himself fall on the hay, dragging you down with him. It irks you, pokes you, and quite frankly, it doesn’t smell like roses.

But it will do.

He hooks his fingers around the waistband of your leggings and hastly drags them down to your knees, not even bothering to get rid of them.

When he pulls on your hair and spins you around, it’s not romantic. When he forces you face down, ass up, it’s not pretty. When he spits on his hand and roughly shoves two fingers inside you, making you wince, it’s not soft and caring.

“I’ll take care of you later, need to be inside you now, doll. I’ve wanted you since the day I first saw you.” he murmurs.

You hear him fumble with his belt as he keeps rubbing your clit and pumping his calloused fingers in and out of you. “It’s been so long.” he adds, as an afterthought, while he strokes his cock and gets himself ready for you.

The hay scratches your cheeks, and you feel his intense presence as he kneels behind you, ready to take you like an animal in heat.

“Please.” you whine, wiggling your hips and brushing against him, “I need you to fuck me now, James.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice, and lines himself up with your entrance, teasing your folds and smearing your arousal on his tip. You feel him prod your tight hole and you brace yourself for the pain, but when he breaches you, your walls stretch perfectly around him, accomodating him, and all you feel is a dull burn that soon gives way to pleasure.

Moaning at the fullness of his heavy weight inside you, you try to bounce on him, but his hands on your hips halt your movement. He's as rough as you expected him to be, and the coil in your core is unbearable.

“Fuck, you’re so damn tight.” he groans, picking up a faster pace, slamming in and out of you. “Made for me, so good.”

He pulls on your hair, and the pain shoots straight to your cunt, making your walls clench on him.

Arching your back you meet his harsh thrusts, feeling his cock hitting that spot inside you, the one that makes the pressure build impossibly fast every time he bumps against it.

It’s all too much and not enough, and when he tugs on your hair again, your eyes roll to the back of your head.

You don’t feel the hay scratching you anymore.

“Fuck me harder.” you plead with tears streaming down your face, revelling in the lewd squelching sounds of your pussy and the slapping ones of his balls hitting your folds.

He never talks, and he won’t start now, you realize. You don’t care though, because all you can think about is his other hand snaking between your legs and furiously rubbing circles around your swollen clit.

You mewl when he snaps his hips and his tip hits your cervix. “I wanna hear those sweet noises pretty girl, wanna hear you fall apart on my cock, only for me.”

He brings you high, and higher, and the pressure grows more and more, until the knot unravels.

“Cum on my cock, fuck, cum all over me sweet girl. I missed this so much.”

When the dam breaks, you feel months of sexual tension release, and the tight coil inside your belly snaps. Your limbs jerk as a hot surge of electricity assails you, and you gush all over his cock, feeling your pussy constrict him in a vice.

He rides your aftershock, pummeling inside you while icy cold claws your every nerve ending. You’re drooling out of your mouth as a man you barely know brutally fucks you like a beast, but in the hazy state you’re in, you couldn’t care any less.

“I’m close.” he gnarls, tightening the hold on your hips, “Where can I-?

“On my face.” You turn and peek over your shoulder just in time to see the shock in his eyes. “I like it that way.” And I’m not on birth control.

When his thrusts become sloppier and his breathing erratic, he pulls out of you and stands. You turn around on your knees and face his thick cock, half wondering how he could make it fit inside your cunt.

“Open those pretty lips of yours babydoll, I want to fuck your mouth too.”

You comply, parting your lips. He shoves himself inside you, clutching your hair and neck as he fucks your mouth relentlessly, hitting the back of your throat and making you gag.

You can’t breathe anymore, but he keeps going, moving your head along his length. You taste him on your mouth, heady and salty, feeling every vein and ridge of him.

You look up, and seeing him all disheveled, hair sticking out everywhere and red faced, lights the fire in your pussy again.

Your hand finds its way between your folds while he holds you down until your nose rubs against the coarse hair on his pubic bones and his balls slap against your chin.

Quickly, he slides out of you, and pumps his cock once, twice. He cums on your face with a moan, painting your lips, cheeks and the tip of your nose with his white hot spurt.

When you open your eyes again, you find him staring at you already, with the most expressive look you’ve ever seen him wear and something akin to a smile dancing on his lips.

“God, doll. I didn’t even know I could do that.” he confesses, all doe eyed. “You’re so fuckin’ perfect, babygirl. I’m gonna keep fucking that tight pussy of yours all summer.”

You let out a giggle when he hoists you over his shoulder and the hay that’s stuck to your clothes flies everywhere.

“Gonna fuck you until you’re sore, until you’re sobbing and you beg me to stop. Fill you up over and over again. Make this pussy all mine. No more other farm boys, you hear me?”

He keeps his word that night, and you keep yours all August long, and you know neither of you want this summer to ever end.

—-

Day 1 of Kintober done. Join my taglist if you want to be tagged in more :) (link on my blog)

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[slutfor-fictionalmen]

Perfect

Levi ackerman x plus size reader 

based off of this post; y/n and levi get into a fight

You stretch in your shared bed groaning as you move your sleep-sore muscles and look over at the statuesque man besides you. You sigh as you remember the argument you had the night before and sit up, throwing one of the mans larger shirts over your soft body and stepping into some lounging pants.

“I don’t care if i die! at least i do it doing something useful like actually KILLING the fucking things, not just standing around barking orders, like SOME Bitch i hapen to live with!” His words echo through your mind, causing you to stare out into the distance while you prepare your morning coffee. You remember you only stared at him, your heart hurt, you knew he had just faced many titans and made it out barely alive, the stress was overwhelming on him. Little did you know, he was in pain, he thought about giving up, letting them take him but he fought for you. And then he came home and hurt you. 

Levi laid on his side, staring at where your plush form once was on your bed. He watched you walk to the kitchen, his mind begging him to say something, anything, only to let his body win and pretend to be asleep. You were quiet that morning, he could see your stoic features, you didn’t give him your usual forehead kiss or greet him by asking how he would want his coffee. He knew what he said hurt, and he hated himself for saying it.

“I’m sorry i’m not what you wanted.” He wanted to argue with your response, tell you that he didn’t mean it like that, but he let you walk away, he fed into you both sleeping back to back. He fed into you both drifting to what felt like thousands of miles away. 

Levi’s thoughts were interrupted as he heard a crash and a very audible ‘Shit!” come from you. You look up and see levi enter the kitchen and look back down at the mug that’s in shatters and the blood on your palm. You decide to ignore him standing in front of you as you careful put the large shards in your uncut hand and let him sweep up the smaller ones.

“Are you ok?” He’s faced with cold silence as a response when you look him in the eye and turn away, trying your best to leave any room that he’s in. Tears fill your eyes as you look for the first aid kit, both the seriousness of the situation and the pain of the cut bring a sting to your eyes. Unable to find the bandages you eventually break down, sitting on the bathroom floor and letting the tears flow. Levi slowly walks in careful not to upset you anymore.

Your disoriented mind yells, “Where the FUCK are our FUCKING BANDAGES.” At him instead of what you really wanted to say. With tears in your eyes you watch him grab the first aid kit and cautiously grab your injured hand, and tend to it. Levi’s heart hurts as he watches you break down, he debates comforting you before deciding ‘fuck it’ and holding your plush form close. Your struggle against his arms was short lived when he pulled you into his chest, letting you cry it out before having a conversation.

“I- i just dont want to lose you, i can’t lose you, i’ve lost too many people i loved and i CHOSE you to love, do you know how much that hurts? To choose someone and have them not care if they die? Even almost losing you hurt, it hurt so fucking much, i can’t do that again. Yo-You can’t be so reckless levi..” Your eyes look panicked as you replay in your mind, watching him run straight into a cluster of titans with not a single regard for his own safety. 

Your body ached, levi guided you to your bed, giving you some aspirin and a glass of water. He sat next to you and kissed your hand, from fingertips to wrist, spewing admiration for you. “I’ll be more careful, i promise.” You pulled your hand away from his and moved it to his face, giving him a lopsided smile when he rested his hand on top of yours and turned his head to kiss your palm. His need for touch reminded you of your shared days as a cadet, dealing with the judgemental boys and the bed-ready girls. Levi was the only person you ever felt like you could talk to, his presence calming you from the trying times those three years brought you.

Levi was the only person to truly be intimate with you, of course you’ve had other partners, but none of them loved you as much as he did. Your thoughts were suddenly brought back to your first time with the boy, how a sparring match suddenly became much more lustful than both of you accounted for.

“Remember our first time?” Levi’s head perked up, processing the information suddenly given to him. His flush died down as he chuckled and met your eyes. “If course i do, why are you thinking about that right now though?” 

You lean forward and peck his lips, pulling away before he can react.”I just wanted you to think about the first time you fucked me so hard i couldn’t think.” A furious blush rises to his face as he looks at your smug smile. Shaking his head he goes along with the changing atmosphere, moving to get on his hands and knees, crawling a short distance towards you with a lustful look in his eyes.

You shiver as you look him in his eyes, relishing in this feeling, wishing he was always this attentive to your needs and feelings. You quickly dismiss the thought, giving your full attention to the man kissing all over your face, drawing out the process of kissing your forehead, cheeks, and nose, finally meeting your long awaiting lips.

 You feel electricity as Levi kisses you with love that quickly turns to unbridled passion, his slender hands feeling your plush body, making sure that no part of your body isn’t mapped in his mind. Levi pulls away and sits up, pulling his shirt off his thin body and signaling for you to shed your clothes as well. Doubt briefly fills your mind before you take your shirt and pants off despite it. Levi can only stare at your body, amazed at your curves, stretch marks, and scars. He adores your body, he adores how soft you are and how only he gets to see you in your most vulnerable state. 

His hands wander your body vigorously while your own hands move to the hair at the nape of his neck. Levi’s lips attach themselves to your neck as he gently cups your breasts, his thumbs rubbing your nipples over the fabric of your bra while he nips at the pressure point of your neck. You let out a small moan before he parts your legs with his knee and places himself between your thighs.

You reach behind yourself and unsnap your bra, hearing a groan erupt from his lips before he marks your chest up with lovebites, leaving you squirming under his touch. His mouth moves down, kissing down your navel to  reach the top of your panties. Levi squeezes the soft expanse of your stomach while he pulls your underwear off of your body. His calloused hands holding your soft thighs down while he begins to lick your folds. You buck your hips, attempting to grind down onto his tongue, but his grip prevents you from moving with ease. He teases your clit with his fingers before he inserts one into your wet cavern. “Oh fuck- levi, please, i need more.” He smirks and obliges, stretching you out with two fingers, thrusting and shucking at your plump clit. 

He feels you squeeze around him, knowing that familiar tight band like pull in your stomach was about to break, he pulls out, preparing himself to fill you up. He pulls off his pants and underwear in one go, letting his penis hit his stomach. Mind flooded with lust, you dont have time to admire his body fully, you just impatient waited for him to fill the growing ache, that was longing to be filled inside you. His dick twitched as he took in the sight before him, his beautiful y/n sprailed out in front out him, ready for him to take you.

“Are you ready beautiful?” You simply nod and moan as he suddenly enters you, pushing him to quickly develop a rhythm. You grip at the sheets while he pounds into you, the sounds of skin against skin echoing in the room, the thick smell of sex fuling levi to go on, having you a whining mess underneath him. 

He lifts your legs up, moving you to fuck you at a deeper angle. Your moans increase as he continues to thrust into you, causing friction against your clit. You feel the familiar band in your stomach begin to wind up once again, you know your climax is about to come and you could feel levi lose his rhythm you knew he was about to finish too.

“Levi, i’m so close, baby, please.” His larger frame works at your soft body, unraveling the tight band in your stomach. You cum on his dick before he pulls out and releases his load on your soft stomach. You both relish in the afterglow before levi pulls you both out of your serene state with a single sentence.

“I was a dick, i wasn’t thinking, i’m sorry. You’re perfect and i didn’t mean anything i said….. I promise ill be more careful.”

“I love you levi, don’t pull that shit again, ok?”

“I love you too brat.”

No you guys weren’t perfect, but at least this is a start.

Sorry it’s so bad!!!! this was just a brain farttt

[mellowyandere]

This isn't something a healing quirk can fix

Reader: F

Characters: Toshinori Yagi (All Might)

Summary: While out saving the day All Might is hit with a quirk that only you can cure. Upon finding him vulnerable, you really shouldn’t have pushed your luck. 

Length: 4K oops 

Warnings: non-con, aphrodisiac, yandere themes, size kink, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering. 

You were in the kitchen making a snack when you heard the familiar clicking of locks on the front door. You tensed a bit at the sound, knowing it meant the arrival of your captor. All Might, or Toshinori as he insisted you called him, had abducted you about 3 months back. It had occurred after he had saved you from a horrific villain attack. You had no clue why he had chosen you out of the group of star struck civilians, but now you wish you had just walked away after your near death experience. How you wish you could take back the unused handkerchief you offered the pillar of peace that you had carried around due to your cold at the time. You just wanted to help in what little way you could, but somehow it was the catalyst for your new life. 

Despite you being locked up in his home, Toshinori had yet to do anything you thought a kidnapper would do. He kept his hands to himself for the most part, and was somehow content with your silent and gloomy company. At first you had been confused but ecstatic to wake up to the hero, but the facade quickly wore off with a puff of smoke and a pathetic explanation for why you couldn’t leave. Anger had morphed into sorrow, and was now almost an empty feeling. He never pushed you for anything, except to ensure you stayed healthy. Despite his large frame the man was a shadow in his own home as he attempted to give you space to adjust. 

But it had been 3 months and you were starting to go crazy from the lack of genuine contact. Alas your pride prevented you from reaching out to him for it. 

The sound of the front door opening and heavy boots making their way inside pulled you from your spiraling thoughts. You paused, waiting for him to call out in greeting like he normally did, but nothing came. The door closed, locks clicked, and then some shuffling was heard before the creaking of the stairs indicated he was headed to his room. 

It was odd. Very uncharacteristic of him. Even on his worst days he never failed to find you, ensuring you were still here and giving you a quick hug. You set down your snack materials and quietly walked out the kitchen towards the stairs near the front door. 

Was he alright? Did you do something to upset him? Wait, why did you care? Pushing down your internal dilemma you found yourself at the bottom of the staircase. Looking up you could see he had a small amount of light bleeding out of his bedroom. And then you heard it, the rattling of metal. What the hell was he doing? You took slow anxious steps up the stairs, needing to know why he was acting so strange. 

You stilled as you reached the landing. His bedroom was quiet now except for the occasional pained exhale of breath. If he didn’t want you to come in then he would have closed the door right? Your ears were ringing as you strained to hear anything else, but that was all. 

Hesitantly you reached out, hand making contact with the cool wooden door as you gently pushed it open. 

“Toshinori? Are you alrig-” The words died on your lips as the bed came into view. Toshinori was strapped down, odd blue restraints keeping him tethered to the bed. He was almost completely naked save for his boxer shorts, which looked to be on the brink of ripping due to his strained erection. His body was flushed red, with a thin layer of sweat coating him. His arms were bound to the headboard, and his feet to the end of the bed

“Y/N ple-please you have to leave.” The words coming out of his mouth did not match the desperation in his dark eyes. Your brain was stuttering as you attempted to figure out what was going on. Your feet shuffled you further into the room, taking advantage of your shock and overriding your more rational thoughts. 

Peering over at his nightstand you noticed a counter ticking down. It currently had a little under 36 minutes on it. Toshinori jolted against his restraints causing you to jump a bit in surprise as you took note of him again. 

“Please just leave for now, this will be over soon. I-I was hit by an unknown quirk, but the villain said that I wouldn’t feel like this after an hour. I just have to wait it out so ple-please..” You couldn’t tell if he wanted to ask you to stay or leave. His face was scrunched in pain as he began to cough a bit. 

You weren’t exactly sure what the villains quirk had done to him, but judging by his strained boxers it didn’t take a genius to figure it out. The number one hero was completely vulnerable before you. When was the last time you had touched another person? Toshinori’s quick hugs hardly counted as human contact. 

“How do you plan on getting out of this?” You approached the side of the bed as you questioned him, hand running against the soft fabric of his sheets. His eyes followed your every move, body beginning to strain against the blue ropes of light. 

“When the timer is up these will automatically turn off..” Which means you had 33 minutes to do anything you wanted. 

Slowly you began to crawl up on the bed. It was ridiculously large, but so was the man currently tied to it. You had no ill intentions for him. He might be your kidnapper, but he was also the number one hero. You couldn’t take him away from society, they needed him. 

You were in complete control of this situation, to an extent, which was something you hadn’t felt for a long time. You made your way over to him, not missing his little groans of frustration as his wiry muscles flexed in anticipation. With his shirt off his prominent scar was on full display. Normally he did his best to hide it from you, but now he had no where to run. 

You reached out and placed your hand on his abdomen, the edges of the large wound just under your fingertips. His flesh was hot. Toshinori let out a low whine at the contact, hips rutting upwards at the feeling of your cool fingers. His large frame trembled as you began to feather your fingers over his exposed flesh. 

“Pri-princess please” Your hand stopped as you looked up into his vibrant blue eyes. The look he was giving you was absolutely searing. He had never called you that before. You were pushing your luck, but would he really punish you for anything once he was free? 

You can recall the times where you used to spit venom, hands shaking with rage and the desire to hurt him as he calmly sat by, never so much as raising his voice at you. No, he wouldn’t punish you. You’d be fine to push it, to scratch the need for contact. 

With your mind set you crawled closer to him, heart beating hard against your ribcage as you pushed down the voices telling you to stop. Throwing your leg over his lean torso you found yourself straddling him. You hovered over his immobile body, trailing your eyes up his sun kissed skin until finally reaching his blazing blue orbs. 

You shrunk a bit at the intensity of his gaze. His jaw was clenched shut, you could almost hear his teeth grinding against each other. You needed to leave. And yet you couldn't find it within you to go. Breaking away from his heated stare you realized the timer was at 24 minutes. You didn’t want to be here when his restraints turned off so you best do what you wanted now. 

You sat up, gently lowering yourself on his lower abdomen. You didn’t dare turn around, not keen on seeing his arousal. All you wanted was to feel the warmth of his body against you for just a little bit, not relieve whatever feeling he was going through. It was your way of punishing him for uprooting your life. 

Your hands rested against his expansive pectoral muscles. Even in his smaller form he was so much larger than you. Despite the limited time you had you felt powerful like this. Toshinori's soft groans made heat rush to your face. Even injured he was still a very attractive, and currently helpless, man. 

Your hands slid further upward, ghosting around his long neck, until you were softly cupping his hollow cheeks. He leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering closed as he moaned out. Toshinori was at a loss for words. Though his mind was foggy with lust he fought to cherish every touch you gave him. 

As the timer continued to tick down you decided on one last thing before slinking off to your room. Leaning down you angled your head for his neck, soft lips meeting hot flesh. The blond bucked beneath you, deep groans of frustration rumbling through him. 

You sucked on his neck gently, nipping at the flesh. His skin was a bit salty from sweat but you didn't mind. Pulling away with a satisfied hum you looked down at the small mark you had left on him. You were in control. His eyes were wide open, pupils fully dilated as he wriggled in his confinement. Peering over the timer read just under 11 minutes. It was time to go. 

You made quick work of crawling off of him, ignoring his soft whines of protest. 

“Goodnight Toshinori.” You didn’t want him to think this would extend any longer than it already had. Making your way off of the bed you scurried out the room, not paying him any mind as he called your name. 

Fleeing to your room you closed the door behind you. Your stomach growled in annoyance due to your abandoned snack, but after what you had just done it would be wise to lay low. Grabbing one of the many books Toshinori had given you, you crawled onto your own ridiculously large bed and settled down. You tried to nurse the anxiety you felt clawing at your chest. Surely Toshinori wouldn't punish you right?

You stared at the page in front of you, incapable of reading a single word. As you continued to second guess your actions you yelped at the sound of a large crash. Clutching the book to your chest you held your breath in anticipation. The door to your room slammed open without warning. 

Chucking the book in terror you tried to jump off the bed to put some distance between you and the crazed hero but you never stood a chance. His large frame was on you before you could even get your feet under you and you were immediately pressed into the plush mattress face down. 

“I’m sorry, Toshinori I’m so sorry please!” Your cries fell on deaf ears. Toshinori couldn’t stop himself even if he wanted to, which as of right now he didn’t. The burning in his veins was one hundred times worse once the timer ended. The villain was right, he didn’t feel the same as he did a little while ago. He felt feral, touch starved, and desperate to devour you. 

Hooking an arm under your waist he hoisted you up so he could rut his large erection against your ass. Whimpers and groans tumbled past his thin lips. 

“So-so perfect princess. So be-beautiful. Gonna take good care of you. Your hero is here.” 

“Toshinori please! You’ll hurt me, you’re not in the right mind!” You needed to get through to him, judging by his hard length pressed against you there was no way he would be able to fit. The behemoth of a man above you stopped moving, though he didn’t release you from his grasp. 

“Princess I’m so sorry, but I can’t stop.” In the blink of an eye he flipped you over so you were looking up at him. His long bangs hung down and you were surprised to feel wetness fall onto your cheeks. His bright blue eyes were swimming with tears.

“It hurts so badly, I’m so sorry.” His face was scrunched in pain as he stared down at you. The number one hero All Might couldn't handle the pain of this quirk? There was no way, he had to be using this as an excuse. 

Which is exactly what he was doing, tears of pain and guilt raining down as he gave in to his pent up sexual frustration. He moved fast, picking up your body while sitting up and pulling you into his lap as he leaned back against the headboard. One of his lanky arms kept you firmly rooted against his chest despite your struggles. You were just so weak compared to him. Your ass was pressed right up against his monstrous hard on which filled you with dread. He was going to split you in half. 

His free hand took up residence on your thigh, squeezing the soft flesh. His hot pants fanned out against your neck causing you to shiver. His large hand began to trail upwards before gently cupping your sex through your shorts. If it was even possible he pulled you even tighter against his chest, mouth coming down to nip and suck at your exposed neck. Revenge for the mark you left on him earlier. 

���Fe-fear not my little princess, I am, shit, I am here.” He was babbling as he began to rub his fingers against your clothed core. Little groans and sniffles accompanying his rambling. 

“N-no Toshinori, All Might, please.” But there was no getting through to him. He shredded your shorts with the flick of his wrist, exposing your underwear. He hummed lowly in contemplation at your lack of wetness, his fleeting rational thoughts knew you needed to be stretched and wet for him. 

Your underwear soon fell to the same fate as your shorts, exposing your cunt to the cold air. His fingers returned, softly playing with your outer folds. You groaned at the contact. It had been so long since someone touched you there, or anywhere in general, that your body was more than happy to respond to the lean blond behind you. 

Before long you both were more than aware of the wetness seeping out of your core. He had yet to dip a finger inside, instead opting to tease your entrance as more and more of your arousal slipped out. Your fear had now blossomed into intense sexual frustration. He was getting back at you for earlier. 

You rutted your hips into his hand, ass grinding back against his cock as you whimpered out in frustration. His breathy laugh against your neck only serving to further annoy you. “You were a bad little girl running away earlier, I’ll have to teach you a lesson. I le-let you get away with too much.” 

As he chided you his index finger slid down until it was over your hole, his thumb sliding up to nudge against your clit. His tears had long since dried as he allowed himself to fully indulge in his new found sexual courage. 

Gently his long and thick digit began to breach you, your velvety walls clamping down eagerly after being teased for so long. 

“Shit so tight princess,” he hissed into your ear, causing you to clamp down again as he slowly pumped his finger in. It took everything in him to not forgo preparing you and slam his aching cock into you, but he would never forgive himself for hurting you. 

His thumb tweaked your clit as he continued to delve deeper until finally his knuckles were pressed up against your slick outer lips. The coil in your lower abdomen was tight as you desperately tried to keep it together. You didn’t want to cum because of him, your pride still shining through. That was until he pulled his finger out and added another. 

It was too much and you whimpered and moaned as your hips bucked forwards, walls clamping down on his fingers that weren't even halfway in yet. His thumb kept up the assault on your clit as he groaned at the feeling of you cumming on his hand. 

His length flexed eagerly against your back, but he knew you weren’t ready yet. Taking advantage of the wetness due to the after math of your orgasm he began to work a third finger in. At this you couldn’t help but cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. Your cunt burned a bit at the stretch as you tried to escape his deft fingers. 

“Sh-shh it’s okay princess, I’m here, don’t worry. You’re doing so, fuck, so good. Just a little bit m-more.” He peppered the side of your face with kisses as he continued to work you open. The pain began to melt away as he gently finger fucked you until yet again he was knuckle deep.

He didn’t move, holding his hand still inside you as he took labored breaths. This was the extent of his self control, you were as prepared as you were going to get. You cried out as he moved, yet again, faster than you could keep up with. His hand was gone and before you knew it he had you splayed out beneath him with your shirt no longer on. 

Somehow he had managed to remove his boxers when he had shifted positions, his long erection bobbing proudly above you. His tip was drenched in pre cum, a testament to his will power. Thick veins lined his monstrous length. Curly blond pubic hair trailed up at the base before tapering off below his belly button. He licked your wetness off his fingers, humming in satisfaction before stabilizing himself above you. 

There was no fucking way that was going in. But judging by the love sick and pained expression on his face, you didn’t have a choice. Toshinori felt like he was on fire, his insides were burning with pain and lust beyond anything he had ever experienced. Your skin was the only remedy from this madness, the velvety walls of your perfect cunt the cure. 

Without wasting anymore time he lined his tip up and began to push in. Your hands came up and slammed against his chest, legs thrashing as you tried to stop him. 

One large hand easily captured both of yours and pinned them above your head. He used his own body weight to pin your legs down, making sure to keep them spread as he kept his eyes transfixed on where you two were connected. 

“Too much, you won’t fit please stop.”

He ignored you, too lost in his own lust as the aphrodisiac clouded his mind. His hips began to dip and retract with the slightest of movements as he opened you beyond what his fingers had been able to do. You gritted your teeth in frustration and pain, tears slipping out. He looked up and scrunched his face in worry at your expression. Leaning down he kissed your tears off your face while whispering his love and devotion to you. 

He hated seeing you like this, hated doing this to you. But he couldn’t stop himself. Inch by inch he pumped into you, your tight walls every so slowly accommodating him. Licking his thumb, he brought it between your two bodies and gently began to stimulate your clit. 

Despite how desperate he was to slam into you with reckless abandon he took his time working you open, he wasn’t the number one hero for nothing after all. Your groans of pain were beginning to be replace with whimpers and soft moans of pleasure, spurring him on until finally he was fully sheathed inside your tight pussy. 

Never before had you felt this full. Looking up you were a bit taken aback to see a large and genuine smile plastered on Toshinori’s face. His perfect teeth gleamed in the dim light as his eyes shone with a sickening amount of love and adoration. 

“So tight princess, let's see how well you take me. N-no crocodile tears to try and slow me down, after all I did say I was going to teach you a lesson.” It was a flimsy excuse to help him rationalize what he was doing, but for now it would do.

With that Toshinori began to increase his tempo, pulling halfway out before pressing all the way back in. His tip hit your cervix with every return, causing you to cry as discomfort and pleasure were rocked into you. 

As he increased his tempo he leaned down, mouth claiming your own as he held you down beneath him. He was overwhelming you with his thumb working your clit while his tongue and cock plunged into you. Your walls fluttered around him as you felt another orgasm approaching. 

His teeth gnashed against your own, moans mixing with yours as he felt the change in your body. You arched your back, hips rocking up to meet his own. Pride be damned, you needed this. You needed him. Releasing your hands Toshinori’s large hand gripped your hip, pushing you down as he angled his slim hips in search of what would push you over the edge. 

Your newly freed hands grabbed fist fulls of his hair, tugging on his soft blond locks and eliciting a deep groan from the man. He knew you were close, there was no other way you would be so willing beneath him. A couple more pin point thrusts was all it took. Toshinori pulled away from you, fully sheathing himself inside your tight cunt as it clamped down on him. 

You were beautiful. Eyes closed shut as moans tumbled passed your kiss swollen lips. He loved the way your body rocked against his, it was a sight he made sure to cherish. Who knew when he'd be able to do this again, to see you so emotive and vulnerable below him. 

As you came down from your high you mind began to clear a bit. Your hands fell from his hair in exhaustion. Toshinori's thick cock was still buried inside you, twitching as if he was doing everything he could to hold out. But soon he began to move again, the aphrodisiac still controlling him.  

He slammed into your spent body with renewed vigor, his only goal now to chase his own release. Your hands flew up, grasping his forearms as you braced yourself against him. His breathy groans of satisfaction and words of loving affirmation tumbled from his mouth as he watched himself fuck you. 

It wasn’t much longer until he stilled again, this time for his own release. You could feel it. Thick ropes of cum released right against your battered cervix. He stayed that way for a while, relishing in not only post orgasmic bliss, but the disappearance of the burning from the aphrodisiac. 

“Thank you princess, it seems today you got to save me.” Leaning down he peppered your face with kisses as he spoke. 

You didn’t bother responding. You didn’t have it in you to do anything but wait for him to pull out. Eventually he did, and you couldn’t help but cringe a bit as he cum seeped out your abused hole. Toshinori flopped down to your left, slinging his arm over your waist and drawing you close, tucking your head under his chin. 

Your stomach growled out in frustration, cutting through the silence, which pulled a hearty laugh from the hero. You couldn’t help but crack a small smile. Despite everything you had been through, the feeling of being lovingly touched had sparked something inside you. You knew it was wrong to feel this way, but right now it was easier to give in to this feeling of warmth than to fight it. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up and something to eat hmm princess?”

“Ye-yeah.. that sounds nice Toshi”

[a03bkdk]

no quirks bkdk fic rec list (p 2)

thirsty gay wingman fic by lalazee

((smut-14130-1/1))

Oct 11, 2019 "Thinkin abt besties-since-birth BkDk goin to college together, Dk begrudgingly bein Bkg's wingman w/chicks & lamenting his big gay crush. One nite, Bkg cant get laid, hes drunk in a shitty mood, so Dk propositions him, which turns into the best night ever & the WORST consequences."

My tweet got 366 likes & 66 reblogs, so that was more than enough reason to write about it.

romeo and romeo by supercrunch

((10473-1/1))

There’s a nasally howl from the neighbour’s place. Izuku looks up – it’s the very loud, very blond guy living in the unit opposite. They’re technically in separate blocks but their balconies are close enough they can see into each other’s living rooms. He’s dancing around in his pyjamas. Yodelling at the top of his lungs off-key, swinging his Pomeranian around by the armpits like a furry ragdoll. “You’re a dog! You’re a fluffy little yellow dog and you’re a pain in the ass but you’re still my favourite shit-stain, yeah!”

Izuku bursts out laughing. The neighbour’s head whips around. He yelps when he sees him, tossing the dog on the couch and scrambling out of view to hide in the hall.

Izuku drops the watering can and runs back inside to find his phone.Small Might: Guys. I've decided i have a crush on my neighbour.

(quarantine baking: a balcony romance)

mechanical bull by warschach

((smut-27573-1/1))

Katsuki has a track record of bad choices, it's a condition, but Izuku might be the one choice that's right.

battle of the bands by roadtripwithlucifer

((smut-168158-26/26))

'The rules are simple. Battle of the Bands. Local bands send in a single track to the radio station, and ten tracks are selected. Over the coming month, the songs play on the station and listeners vote on the top five. The top 5 play a live concert as part of a music festival, then the top 3 at a larger, indoor venue. The top two have the honor of opening on the first stop of All Might’s retirement tour – here. In Izuku’s home town. And finally, the winner gets the ultimate prize. Getting to spend the rest of the tour, forty cities, across the country as All Might’s opener. Three months. Same tour bus. Shoulder to shoulder with the greatest musicians the world has ever known.'Izuku Midoriya is a broke college student presented with the opportunity of a lifetime. But winning isn't gonna be easy, especially when one band's aggressive blonde frontman seems to be dead-set on making Izuku's life a living hell.

oh my god! they were roomates! by phatye

((smut-79108-57/57))

“Don’t go through my shit, and if there’s a tie on the door, then fuck off!” Katsuki growled. “...what?” he asked. Katsuki glared at him. “This is fucking college, and I plan on getting laid a lot! I don’t need some nerd cockblocking me! And what is with all the fucking toys here!” Katsuki had moved over to his shelves. “Are you a fucking child or something?!” This was not what he was expecting.

shades of blue by young_crone

((smut-22525-1/1))

Echoes filtered down the white hall as he descended the stairs toward the locker rooms, reverberating from the pool. A whistle, the sound of breaking water. He swiped the towel over his face, paused. The sliver of cerulean catching the sinking sun pouring through the skylights, the red and white lane buoys, the burn of chlorine.Izuku ran a hand through his curls, snagging on a knot. The clock on the wall reminded him how late it was. A minute wouldn't hurt. He worried his lip. Just a glimpse.

k-9 by warschach

((smut- 18304-1/1))

Izuku takes in a stray on one rainy night, except it's not a dog, it's a dog shifter who goes by the name, Katsuki. After the initial wave of panic and embarrassment, Izuku thinks his new pet/roommate is pretty cute.

sucker punch by warschach

((smut-41551-1/1))

But, whatever, Disney Boy over there was—

Prettying up real damn good that Katsuki got kind of distracted—totally understandable, like god those CGI pine eyes—and didn’t see the straight path he made for the metal trash bin in the center of the area until he was tipping forward and waist deep in discarded bottles, plates, balled up tissues sticky with he prayed was chocolate ice cream and nacho cheese.

Mina howled behind the gate. “Look, Katsuki returned to his home.”

(or Katsuki works security at Six Flags and moonlights as a derby dude and continuously looks uncool around Izuku)

may I take your order, dipshit? by supercrunch

((6373-1/1))

So, like, maybe Bakugou wasn’t really the best choice for this whole pizza delivery shindig.

(Midoriya in love, Bakugou in denial, and way, way too much cheese.

A BakuDeku romance in thirty minutes or less. )

raise me so high (your sins become my pedestal) by stardust_painter

((smut-10804-2/2))

After his boyfriend cheats on him, Izuku wants to do something stupid. The question is how stupid does he want to be.

The answer is very stupid apparently.

eye for an eye or whatever by tobiyos

((smut-4049-1/1))

“I’ll make it up to you!” Izuku says brightly, lifting his head from Katsuki’s lap.

Katsuki’s eyes narrow but he isn’t still pushing Izuku away so. Progress. “Fuck are you gonna do to make it up to me?”

“Hmm…” Izuku says quietly, tapping at his chin. “Oh! You’re still a virgin, right?”

Katsuki chokes on his own spit and promptly renews his efforts of pushing Izuku away by the forehead. “Fuck off,” he wheezes, “get out of my room.”

leap of faith by ladyofsnails

((28771-4/4))

Midoriya Izuku is just a random kid who loves art, analyzes everything, and is obsessed with the (in)famous hero Mighty Spider. He's got a loving mother, a great uncle, and maybe not too many friends that aren't those two but he's working on it.

And then a random cute boy shows up at his school, a spider bites him, he meets his hero under the worst possible conditions, and it all goes to hell. Now he's got villains on his tail, a promise to keep to a dead guy, and a washed-up hobo as his mentor.

Here goes nothing.

green is the warmest color by gloriousporpoise

((smut-12287-2/2))

“Woah, someone call the fire department,” Eijirou says, elbowing Katsuki squarely in the ribs. “That guy is smokin.’”

“I literally hate you.”

Here’s the thing, though. Eijirou’s a certified dumbass, but his current observation isn’t even a little bit wrong, much to Katsuki’s displeasure.

“Think you can get his number?”

Or, Bakugou is a painter without a muse.

you and i collide by ethereals

((smut-20442-9/9))

And not that Bakugou’s the type to sexualize a potentially dead body; especially one that he just accidentally murdered, but the man has some pretty solid DSL’s. He would hit it, with more than just his car.

OR

in which rich fratboy! bakugou is a badass who accidentally hits poor med student!izuku with his car and chaos ensues therefore.

97.6 FM by jamjars

((smut-32249-3/3))

Izuku can’t stop listening to the radio host with the deep voice who sounds like he’s stuck in 2010. It’s a harmless crush. That is until he starts calling into the show under the pseudonym Deku.

Or Radio Host! Baugou x Listener! Midoriya

give me that sweet love by xsxuxgxax

((smut-32768-9/9))

Things Katsuki needs to excel at: be hot, be clever and pretend to be nice, let Izuku kiss him publicly, let Izuku fuck him privately…

(sugar baby katsuki and sugar daddy izuku pretty much)

dance with me by astralchaos

((30161-10/10))

Mina pulled up a video of a young man, seemingly teen, dancing to a popular new hit, and Izuku felt his heart drop to his stomach. His skin prickled and felt clammy as he started sweating nervously, not daring to move or make a noise. His eyes were glued to the screen but he didn’t see anything – his brain was too busy going into overdrive and freaking out.

Because Mina was showing him a video of himself. The one he uploaded last night.

How on Earth did she find this? He had barely a few thousand views, he wasn’t popular, and it’s not like he was even any good, especially compared to her or Kacchan–

“That move was sexy as hell,” Kacchan said, and that was when Izuku realized that his childhood friend – his longtime crush – also leaned in to watch the video Mina was showing him.

puppies puppies by Esselle

((15491-2/2))

"So after doing all that," Katsuki says, "you're just going to settle here? Tatting up wannabe bad boys?"

"You think all guys who have a lot of tattoos are wannabes?" Midoriya asks, so smoothly that it throws Katsuki.

"Wh—no, I mean—maybe!" Katsuki says. "You'd know best, wouldn't you? Are you a bad boy?"

The words are out of his mouth before he even realizes it, and he regrets them immediately. There's a figurative list of things that one should never do, and probably high up on it is asking dark-haired sailors with ocean green eyes and black swirls of ink all across their barely concealed muscles if they are bad boys.

--

Katsuki thinks he has everything he needs in life: a successful pet shop, an occasionally reliable assistant, and the unconditional love of the twenty puppies he’s raising for adoption. But when the tattoo parlor next door hires Midoriya Izuku, a hot sailor with an affinity for dogs, it makes Katsuki wonder if he might need something more.

Like… a piece of that ass. Maybe. He’s figuring it the hell out as he goes.

im gonna make a part 3 later ergaegrggjnjuvuh

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

an icarus and his sun: chapter 13

A/N: ayyyy, lucky number 13! a lot of stuff goes down in this chapter, but you guys will be getting part of the resolution!! this isn’t the end though, there are two chapters left in the story! Oh also my pal Jack made a spotify playlist for this series, and all the songs on it work so well and absolutely slap!!

Warnings: possession, manipulation, swordfight, self-worth issues, violence, choking (not in the *wink* way stop it it’s meant to be angsty), kissing, hugs

AO3 Link - Tumblr Masterpost 

-

Scott didn’t know where he was. It was like he was standing in the Void, but there was something more off about the pitch black landscape than usual. It was tinted red, somehow. There was a deep crimson color that permeated the air, a thick fog that threatened to choke Scott- and then he saw him. It was- it was himself, sort of. The figure before him looked exactly like Scott, but something was definitely off. First was the color scheme of his clothing- red and black instead of the cyan and white of his empire. Then, most glaringly, was his eyes. Deep red, just like the corruption in Scott’s arm. And when he put a hand on the hilt of the dark blade strapped to his side and grinned, Scott saw far too sharp teeth.

“Who are you?!” Scott demanded, instinctively reaching for his sword and pleasantly surprised to find it sheathed at his side- he hadn’t remembered it being there before. The red version himself somehow managed to grin wider.

“A small part of a larger plan. He will be pleased to know I have you under my control,” the red Scott taunted. Scott’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“He? What plan, what are you talking about?” Scott asked, and the red version of himself laughed.

“So you don’t remember yet… that explains why you were so easy to defeat,” he taunted. Scott grit his teeth and drew his sword.

“You haven’t defeated me yet,” Scott growled. The red Scott only laughed, before lunging at Scott faster than he thought was possible. He blocked the incoming blow just in time, trying to push the red version of himself back.

“I won’t be as easy to defeat as your pathetic little fish boy,” the red Scott sneered.

“He isn’t mine,” Scott protested through gritted teeth before managing to push his other self back. He slashed at the red Scott, who easily sidestepped the attack.

“Oh you definitely made sure of that, didn’t you?” the red Scott scoffed. Scott’s attacks faltered, and his other self took the opening. Scott managed to evade most of the blow, but he was stumbling and unsteady now, and the edge of the red Scott’s blade ended up cutting his arm.

“This- this isn’t even about him,” Scott protested, but his voice came out weaker than he meant it to.

“But you can’t resist thinking about him anyway, can’t you? I’ve been in your head, Scott. No matter how hard you try, that fool in a cod head can’t escape your attention. But you ruined everything you could have had with him before it had barely begun,” the red Scott taunted, continuing to strike at Scott, and he could barely block the blows as he continued to speak.

“Stop,” Scott managed to get out, choking back a sob as he tried to continue fighting his other self.

“He was an Icarus, and you were his sun. He got too close and you burned him, Scott. Everything that you touch crashes and burns, so why not give in? Why not let me take the reins- certainly things would be better without you,” the red Scott crooned, and he didn’t even need to raise a sword to send Scott reeling. Before he knew what he was doing, he lowered his sword, and the red fog started closing in, becoming tangible and wrapping around Scott, pinning his arms to his sides.

“Wait- no!” Scott cried, trying to struggle against the strange red substance, but it was too late. It had Scott firmly in its clutches, and the red Scott grinned.

“Goodbye, Scott,” he said with a cackle, and the last thing Scott saw was a blade slashing towards him.

-

It had at most been a few hours since they had locked Jimmy away with Scott when he woke up. Scott sat bolt upright in bed, chest heaving as he accidentally dislodged Jimmy’s hand from his own. Jimmy reached out for his hand again, but froze when he saw Scott’s eyes. They were red. Jimmy knew what he had to do- he had to tell the others that Scott had lost to the corruption. But Jimmy still couldn’t find it in himself to give up on Scott. So he sat there, frozen as he watched Scott catch his breath, eyes blood red and the corruption visibly pulsing beneath his skin.

“Scott?” Jimmy asked softly, still foolishly clinging to hope. Scott’s head snapped to him, and with a growl he lunged at Jimmy. He successfully tackled him to the ground, hands around his throat. A horrible choked noise escaped Jimmy’s lips as he clawed at Scott’s hands, struggling to breathe. He couldn’t even call out to his friends if he wanted to, and he felt his vision already darkening at the edges. His friends had been right, and all Jimmy could think about was how he would never see Scott’s brilliant icy blue eyes again.

Suddenly there was a bright purple flash between them. Gem’s crystal! It seemed to have worked, causing Scott to scramble off of Jimmy and hiss in pain. Jimmy rubbed at his throat, his other hand up placatingly as he gave Scott a pleading expression. But there was no recognition in Scott’s now crimson eyes, just fiery anger. He lunged at Jimmy again, despite the crystal around his neck, and the two of them grappled for control. The crystal still glowed brightly, causing Scott to hiss in pain, but he still kept coming after Jimmy, trying to pin him down and get a grip on his throat again. Jimmy had to get away, he had to call for help. He managed to shove Scott off of him, and scramble to his feet- but Scott got up just as quickly. There was a brief moment of stillness, of both of them catching their breath. But the second Jimmy tried to make a break for the hidden door, Scott’s wings suddenly drew back and snapped closed on Jimmy’s head, causing his ears to ring and his vision to blur from the blow. He fell to his knees, blinking rapidly to try and get his vision to clear. He vaguely registered a blur of white and blue lunging at him and fully tackling him down to the ground. He tried to push Scott off of him again, but his wrists were snatched up and forcefully pinned on either side of his head.

The ringing in Jimmy’s ears finally ceased and his vision cleared to see Scott above him with a manic, victorious grin on his face. And well… Jimmy got an idea. Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea- but Scott had him pinned, and his face was inches away from Jimmy. He couldn’t help but think of the first time they fought like this- and that felt like centuries ago, now. Except that time Jimmy didn’t think either of them wanted the other to die. But here Scott was, trying to kill Jimmy… and there was only thing Jimmy could think of to maybe unbalance Scott. So he lunged up, eyes squeezed shut as he crushed his lips against Scott’s. If he had kept his eyes open, he would have seen the red in Scott’s eyes flicker before they fluttered shut, and the corruption slowly seep out of his skin. But Jimmy was too focused on the way Scott kissed him back, hands releasing his wrists to instead cup his face and run through his hair. Jimmy almost got lost in the kiss- in Scott's small gasp paired with a pleasant shiver as Jimmy’s hands brushed the base of his wings when his arms wrapped around him, in how Scott kissed him as desperate as a man fighting not to drown- but then Jimmy remembered the reason he had kissed Scott in the first place. He neatly flipped them over, breaking the kiss and grabbing Scott’s hands, intending to pin him like he had done to Jimmy- but then he saw Scott’s eyes. They were confused and disorientated, but were the icy blue shade that Jimmy knew so well.

"You could at least take me out to dinner first before you pin me like that," he joked weakly. Jimmy let out a mildly hysterical laugh. He scrambled off of Scott to instead pull him into his lap and hug him tightly.

"You're okay!" he said in a gasp. Scott slowly hugged him back, expression twisted with confusion and disbelief.

“I- you- did you- but I thought I was dead... so- what? How?” Scott asked, looking like his brain was going a million miles a minute.

“That corruption in your skin- we did everything to try and stop it or remove it, but nothing was working- and it was up to you to fight it off and you almost didn’t- but of course you did in the end, you’re- you’re you…” Jimmy trailed off, pausing for only a brief moment before gently cradling Scott’s jaw and pulling him into a kiss. Scott kissed him back for half a second, before pulling back with wide eyes. Jimmy’s stomach started turning nervously, and he drew his hand back from Scott’s face.

“Why are you- you kissed me? And still want to kiss me? Why?” he asked in disbelief. Jimmy laughed nervously.

“I uh. I got carried away, huh? I just- I was so relieved you were alive, and that you were… you. And the first time I was just trying to throw you off, but I guess that was the final push you needed to fight back,” Jimmy explained sheepishly. Scott still looked hopelessly lost.

“But- but I betrayed you. And I just tried to kill you!” he protested.

“You weren’t yourself,” Jimmy said softly.

“But I was when I was working with Fwhip! You- you shouldn’t want to do anything to do with me- you said so yourself!” he continued, tears gathering in his eyes. Jimmy took Scott’s hands, squeezing them gently as he looked at Scott right in the eyes.

“Scott. I should have listened to you when you tried to tell me that you cared, and I should have believed you when you told me that you were only trying to protect me. I’m sorry for pushing you away, Scott,” Jimmy said firmly. Scott still looked like he was on the verge of tears, but he didn’t pull away from Jimmy.

“But- but I wouldn’t have even gotten feelings for you if Fwhip hadn’t told me to keep an eye on you,” Scott protested weakly. Jimmy pondered this for a moment, gaze darting away before looking back to Scott with a softly determined expression.

“When did you first realize you had feelings for me?” he asked. Scott blinked in surprise at the question, and he swallowed nervously before answering.

“It was the day I had stolen the slimeball from you. You- you chased after me, grinning like an idiot and the scales on your stupid cod head were glinting like bronze in the sunlight… you- you were irrevocably radiant, and I realized I didn’t want a world without your smile or laugh in it,” Scott confessed softly. Jimmy grinned, heart soaring.

“That was when I realized it too. And if we’ve both cared about each other for that long… then what’s the point in getting fussed over the reason why?” Jimmy replied. Scott let out a sound that was half laugh, half sob as he abruptly leaned forward and hugged Jimmy tightly. Jimmy hugged him back, running a hand through rustled feathers and smoothing them out.

“I’m so sorry for everything, I know it wasn’t all my fault- but the explosion, everything before that…” Scott trailed off into sobs. Jimmy shifted, pressing a kiss to his hair.

“It’s alright, I promise you it’s alright- that you’re alright, and that we’re alright. I forgive you, it wasn’t your fault,” Jimmy murmured, holding Scott as he cried. Eventually the tears subsided, and Scott’s breathing evened out. Jimmy shifted slightly so that he could look Scott in the eyes- even if at first, that movement earned him a slight pout. Jimmy chuckled at the sight of it.

“Can we try that first kiss again? It keeps getting interrupted by silly things like trying to save each others’ lives and self-doubt,” he asked with a cocky grin. Scott laughed.

“I think I kind of like having you alive, Jimmy,” Scott said between laughs.

“Could’ve fooled me,” Jimmy teased with a grin, easily falling back into their playful banter. Scott smirked, leaning in until he was a mere breath away from Jimmy. Jimmy’s heart rate spiked very quickly, and at this rate maybe Scott was still trying to kill him. Not that Jimmy was exactly complaining if this was the way he went out, a handsome winged elf in his lap looking at him like he was the world.

“Shut up and kiss me, you idiot,” Scott murmured.

“Gladly,” Jimmy breathed out, before closing the little distance between them. It was fireworks behind Jimmy’s eyes, flowers blooming in his chest, it was sunlight and glittering gold- but most importantly it was Scott, alive and himself, safe in Jimmy’s arms.

-

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[whump-town]

Was Hotch Abused?

I offer you my 2,300+ worded thoughts on the matter with episodes included. There's going to be lots and lots of talk about abuse so you're going to want to steer clear of that if that's something you're not cool with but for those of you interested... I give you all the proof I could think of:

Natural Born Killer.

In the eighth episode of the first season, “Natural Born Killer”, we meet Vincent Perrotta. His father was abusive but from the outside looking in, no one knew a thing. Perrotta started drinking at fourteen and committed petty crimes, as well as assault, for pleasure. Going as far as to kill his own father not too long after. But Perrotta is a monster and a psychopath so it’s clear we’re not supposed to sympathize which makes his interaction with Hotch so peculiar.

Hotch is our “Captain America”. A true neutral with an infinity for doing what’s right so it’s inconceivable to compare him to Perrotta and yet Hotch gives us some rather conflicting lines to dissect.

Before Gideon hands the interview over to Hotch, he spends a moment talking with the others out in the bullpen. The whole time he’s leaned back and he’s watching Morgan and Hotch. Now, at this point, we don’t know about the sexual abuse Derek Morgan faced at the hands of Carl Buford but there’s something about the way that Gideon spends the entirety of the conversation only looking at the two of them. Waiting for them to put together what he clearly already has and when Hotch does…

Hotch jumps straight into Perrotta’s profile, asking: “You grew up in a house that looked normal and happy, didn’t you Vincent?”, “But your father beat you every chance he got”

Perrotta excuses it with a shrug, “he smacked me around some, didn’t everybody’s old man?”

Abuse is a complicated thing and, often, abused children just don’t know what their parents are doing to them is abuse. It can be a subtle and outright thing but there’s an element of normalcy to it. The parent’s abuse is as habitual, as minimal as biting your nails to the child. Adults often can’t identify their parent’s past abuse.

With Hotch you learn that his lack of expression is often as telling as his expressions and as Hotch looks back at Perrotta, there’s something so sad about his eyes. His voice goes from loud, assertive to his whispered answer to Perrotta’s question. “No.” As if, well, maybe that’s a question he’d raised once too.

Perrotta doesn’t care about that though and he taunts “well, maybe if yours had you would have learned to fight”. But is it not more telling that Hotch didn’t make a sound? Perrotta got in several hits and the only sound Hotch made was when the wind was literally punched out of him. Not even when Gideon called to him and at that point, Perrotta did not the garrote around Hotch’s throat. That’s another thing mentioned before in the profile and something Hotch mentions to Perrotta directly. You learn to take the beatings, smile even. So, it’s just a little odd how little Hotch responded…

But that’s all nothing, you can take that how you want

Which leads us to the fateful, not everyone comment.

"You were just responding to what you learned, Vincent. When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive and violent household... it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers"

That can’t mean NOTHING, there’s so much there but there’s something about Hotch’s subtle wording. The way he’s unconsciously slipped himself in there (a very real thing that people do) and he hasn’t even realized it. Doesn’t even know he’s done it until Perrotta pushes and he pauses, asks what Perrotta means. And the subtly of it, the way he doesn’t even mean to that says more than anything else.

“And some people grow up to catch them.”

It’s a super-specific comment to make. He can’t possibly be talking about Derek because he doesn’t even know about Carl Buford yet not to mention saying that about him would be incredibly rude if he were talking about Reid (and again, he doesn’t know about Reid’s childhood yet). So… that really only leaves him because JJ, Garcia, and Elle were not abused.

“P911”

In season two, episode two “P911” the team is hunting down a man trying to sell a young boy, Peter, on the black market. Kevin Rose is an underage boy “selling” himself on the internet while his abusive father has been in prison. I’ll let you just guess who it is that leads the team on finding out more about Kevin.

Your guess is more than likely right-- Morgan and Hotch. Now, we know about Morgan but come on. Nothing to say about it being Hotch who makes the emotional appeal?

The camera even follows his gaze, he’s crouched down (to appear non-threatening because he’s so close) and we watch his eyes take in the scars on Kevin’s chest. You can also note that while Gideon remarks that Kevin’s father was “always drunk, you never knew why he was hurting you, why he was so angry” both Kevin and Hotch look away from him.

AND FUCKING TRY AND TELL ME THE “some grow up to catch them” LINE WAS NOTHING TRY BECAUSE GUESS WHAT GIDEON SAYS? NO, NO GUESS--

Gideon: “At night you’d cry yourself to sleep hoping someone would come and save you”

And it’s HOTCH, HOTCH IS THE ONE TO SAY: “You have the chance to be the one who saves someone, Kevin. You can be the one who answers him, the one who stops his pain.”

PARALLELS PEOPLE THE PARALLELS

“Profiler, Profiled”

I bet you weren’t expecting this one, huh? But there’s something about people who faced trauma that makes it so perceptible to other traumatized people-- they sniff it out like coke to a drug hound. And, just guess, who it is that spends the majority of his time fighting with Morgan? Who knows (like I said about the bloodhound) immediately there is something Morgan’s hiding.

Hotch is angry, he’s upset that Morgan would hide anything. Mumbling about there being “larger implications” and how the team can’t have secrets. With the knowledge of exactly what that secret is it makes Gideon’s eye roll a little telling. Because it’s like they both know but neither will say. Driven home by Gideon turning the attention to Hotch, asking “would you want us profiling you?”

And again Hotch is the one to leap onto the abuse. The one to put the pieces together. Hotch’s anger makes no sense. He says he’s angry that Derek’s keeping a secret but the team has many, way too many. Over the years the team unwraps all kinds of secrets, he’s never angry then. So, it’s not about the implication of a secret at all. It’s what the secret is, like misplaced anger. Anger with himself may be leftover from his own abuse. But still…

Hotch lets Morgan escape. Knows exactly who and what Carl Buford is but all he tells the team is that “he won’t even speak about him”. He always knows how to find the abuse… like I said, a bloodhound.

George Foyet

I know you’re going to find this so fucking surprising but guess who also was abused? George Foyet was beaten by his biological father and his mother didn’t save him so he hates women (bleh, men are disgusting what’s knew).

Now, blah, blah, blah Hannah, I know you’re not about to say Foyet and Hotch are a lot alike-- no of course not. Don’t be silly. What I’m going to say is that they’re foil characters? They accent one another in an opposites sort of way. Foyet is a manipulative narcissist who doesn’t work well with others. Hotch is a guilt-ridden team leader who can’t let The Reaper’s case go. There are meant to be comparisons drawn between them. A good villain does that. George Foyet shows us that Hotch is not at all this removed, cool guy that we’ve previously assumed him to be. He cries in an alley because he blames himself when The Reaper kills a busload of people.

We see he has a rather compulsive nature. He never let The Reaper case go and has very personal ties in this case. Not even after Foyet attacks him, if anything it’s worse. He brings the case file home.

But it’s certainly interesting to see yet another “villain” with that same tragic abusive father and submissive mother come into play with Hotch. We’re nearing a point where it’s getting hard to call it coincidence (and according to David Rossi, there simply is not such thing).

Haunted.

In the second episode of the fifth season, “Haunted”, Hotch voice’s over a Dickinson quote: “One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house; The brain has corridors surpassing. Material place.” These quotes are often cheesy, if not a little cliché, but given the premise of this episode is in exploring the ways in which a man’s traumatic childhood has left him now grappling for a truth he can not define… well, maybe we can say the writers were onto something here.

Darrin Call, debatably the Unsub of “Haunted”, was abused by an alcoholic father. We see several signs of it throughout the episode-- Darrin’s delayed speech & severe neglect that leaves Darrin in dirty, hole-riddled clothing. If what we see is not enough, the reports that the team is given on Darrin explicitly state that he was extremely physically abused. It is this abuse that leads to the PTSD that he’s diagnosed with.

As sad and disheartening as Darrin Call’s life is, overall it’s the sort of episode that is forgotten over time. When it’s placed right after the episode that viewers have to watch Hotch say goodbye to Haley and Jack then, who is Darrin Call when compared to the agony of watching Hotch show genuine weakness? After watching Hotch lay in a hospital bed, tears in his eyes wondering if his son will remember him? His fears become our own and after watching George Foyet disarm and mutilate the one guy we’ve been led to believe for five seasons is infallibly, unflinchingly never going to break… well, Darrin Call has it bad but our focus is elsewhere.

It’s on Hotch, right?

The guy who is coming back to the job after only a month (and a day) off to recover. Who Morgan worries might have PTSD but he knows they can’t easily measure because Hotch wrote the questionnaire, he knows all the right answers. Who we see has had new locks installed since the attack and has Foyet’s file sitting open on a table for easy access. Who hears Darrin Call’s life (worked the same job without promotion for years before getting fired, no wife, no kids, a hermit) and bluntly asks why Darrin hasn’t just killed himself.

And let’s just take a moment to break down that comment. Hotch, who in the episode previously lost his wife and child, wants to know why a man who is steadily starting to sound a lot like him hasn’t just killed himself.

And I don’t say “sounds a lot like him” lightly.

Darrin Call has PTSD. Hotch, more than likely, has PTSD

Here are some signs just from that episode: hostility (he yelled at Garcia over something very small), self-destructive behavior (he ran into Darrin Call’s father’s house without a vest, back-up, or telling the other’s what he was doing), and guilt (blamed himself for missing the eye twitching Darrin exhibited because of his years of antipsychotic use)

Darrin Call was abused… this marks the second HEAVILY implied time that Hotch has been compared to another man abused by his father

Vincent Perrotta was the first with that hard to forget the exchange

George Foyet and his notably exactly the same past as Perrotta

“Haunted” feels like it’s supposed to prove to the audience that Hotch is losing it. He distances himself from Morgan, leaving every room that Morgan is in. He doesn’t pick up Garcia’s calls after Darrin Call attacks his therapist. The only glimpse we see of the old Hotch is with Emily, pulled to the side, but his guilt burns and he even brushes her off. Shaking his head and turning his back to her because somehow he should have seen something no one else did.

Throw in Reid’s comment about Call “victims are often drawn to the scene of their first trauma” and we’re painfully reminded of Hotch’s apartment. A place you’d think he’d want to escape but didn’t. The man was stabbed nine times in his own apartment and stayed in that same place. Almost sounds like that statement could be applied to Hotch too.

A dash of Hotch’s own comment about where Call would go to in his confusion and he says “to what he knows”, even the importance of how that orphanage is “where he became Darrin Call”. Where does Hotch go? What does Hotch know? The job.

So… we tally now three total Unsubs that Hotch has this direct relationship with. Three Unsubs with abusive fathers and mothers who couldn’t protect them. Hmm… coincidence?

Brothers Hotchner

Supervisor Special Agent Hotchner is a master of hiding, that is undeniable. It’s hard to see anything behind those furrowed brows and impersonal suits and that’s likely for a reason. However, anyone with a little sibling can tell you that no one on this Earth can and will annoy the ever-loving shit out of you like a sibling.

But that’s not really important. Sean and Hotch don’t talk about their parents. At all. Ever.

Hotch says that when Sean was in the first grade he got sent off to boarding school. “I was the screw-up making bad choices”. Interesting enough of a statement to make but you throw in the rough ages of Sean and Hotch at that time and it’s a little more than just “interesting”. You have Hotch at roughly 14-15 getting into trouble just like Morgan did at that same age (coincidence???).

(now you can certainly look at Hotch’s parentification vs. Sean’s immaturity doubled with substance abuse problems but we’d be stretching. “The Tribe” touches on the parentification but Sean just calls it “the big brother” thing and tells Hotch that he’s not Sean’s father and it’s fine it’s whatever. Hotch is a bit pushy. That’s not new. Substance abuse can just be a problem, it doesn’t have to be bc they were abused but again… a little coincidental)

So... was Aaron Hotchner abused as a child? I certainly think so

[mourntheantagonist]

Smut prompt!!! ( from your recent post!)

Billy has a thing for being held down. He’s been pushing steve around the school all day, trying to get a rise out of him and it WORKS- It starts out hostilely but turns into something much steamier ending in the blonde being fucked.

ABSOLUTELY!! ABSO-FUCKIN-LUTELY!!

cw: rough sex

***

“From here on out you leave me and my friends alone. Do you understand?”

He said yes. He said he understood. But did he really?

What Billy understood of Max’s demands, was really just what she meant. She meant for him to keep his fists to himself, not to hurt any one of them, including Steve, and that, he understood that. But what Billy needed was for Steve to hit him. He needed for him to fucking fight back, throw another punch his way to level out the playing field. He needed for Steve to break his nose, split his lip, just do fucking something other than hang his head low and continue to avoid him like the goddamn plague.

So Billy didn’t leave him alone like Max had demanded. He teased, he pushed his buttons, he fouled him during basketball practice and shut off his shower head, he hid his gym clothes and stole his towel off the rack. Anything to just get a rise out of him.

But Steve just takes it. He never does anything more than roll his eyes and say “Hargrove” like it’s a slur. But Billy can also see how he’s beginning to wear Steve down, little by little, getting closer and closer to fucking exploding.

Until he does. After an entire scrimmage game where Billy fouled Steve enough times that he was ejected, followed up by an already pissed off Steve having his towel ripped from the rack for probably the fifteenth time that month. Steve had had enough, and promptly pushed Billy up against the shower walls with more force than he would have anticipated. Steve took him by the wrists and shoved a knee into the back of his thigh until Billy was fully pinned to the wall and completely immobilized.

“Cut that shit out Hargrove.” Steve said, in a low and husky voice directly into his ear, the heat of his breath making the inside of Billy’s head buzz. The bones in Steve palms dug deep into Billy’s wrists, and when he let go, Billy nearly fell to the floor. His legs felt like jelly and he refused to turn around from where he was facing the wall as everyone crowded around and laughed, congratulating a Steve who pushed past everyone after retrieving his stolen towel. Meanwhile, Billy’s still not turning around until all of the other guys have scattered away.

Because he’s fucking hard.

He could still feel Steve’s hands on his wrists on the drive back home, red all around the circumference. He could still smell him, all up in his space pressing his entire weight into the wall leaving him completely motionless. He needed more. He needed that again.

So he kept pushing. He kept pushing despite Steve’s warnings, because to Billy, it was a fucking promise.

Except this time around it was different, because he tried to do it when no one else was around. He fucked with the shower head just enough so that it was just the two of them left to occupy the boys locker room after hours. Naked, dripping wet, horny…

And Steve, absolutely fired up.

“Don’t think I won’t do it again asshole.” Steve said as he dried himself off with a towel, still undressed, and Billy didn't know where he got the nerve to steal a look so obviously at the brunette as he toweled off his hips, biting his lower lip. That was just the first step in a series of bold, and honestly, stupid moves out of Billy, because next thing he knew he had one hand latched on to Steve’s towel.

“Don’t think I don’t want you to.”

You could hear a pin drop to the floor with just how silent the room got. Steve just stared at Billy who still had his hand firmly gripping the corner of the towel, waiting for Steve to give, to let up on his own grip just enough for Billy to yank it from his possession and drop it to the floor.

Steve was still, unmoving, and the awkward silence was deafening, so after already sealing his fate, he said what he wanted, made it clear.

“Pin me. Take whatever you want from me.” Billy said, tugging on the towel a little harder, but Steve’s grip that hadn’t given.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Steve’s eyes were narrowing in on him, like maybe, just maybe, Billy struck a bit of a nerve.

Billy tugged on the towel again. “Pin me up against those lockers.”

Steve tugged back.

“Yeah? Then what?” Steve asked.

Billy tugged again. “Punch me...” Steve tugged back, but Billy tugged again, harder. “Fuck me…”

Steve let go, and the towel fell to the floor in slow motion, all dramatic like it was straight out of a movie scene. Billy moved to close the distance between them a little more, chests nearly touching and each other’s breaths able to be felt on their faces. “Whatever you want.”

Not a second passed before Billy found his cheek smashed up against the door of his locker and Steve’s entire naked body up against his back. They were pressed so close together that he could feel Steve’s heart as it beat through his chest, along with his shaky breathing, right in his ear. Steve’s hands were back at his wrists in the same exact spot they were the last time, pressing them firmly into the locker, almost hard enough it might leave a small dent in the metal.

Steve was clearly hesitant, his hands still firmly placed where they were, and his breathing only growing more uneven. Billy might have thought Steve might choose the “punch me” option if it weren’t for the fact that his dick was right up against his ass, clearly just as excited as he was. Steve was still nervous, and all that meant was that he just needed a little bit more encouraging taunting.

“Go ahead pretty boy, fuck me like you hate me.”

That was enough for Steve’s hands to finally move, to trail down the length of his arms and down his back with the same bruising force the whole way down, like a deep tissue massage that he’d surely still feel later on.

Steve’s hands trailed all the way down to his ass where he squeezed hard, let out a heavy breath, and paused right there, cupping his cheeks and spreading them apart.

“Fuck,” Steve swears, “what the fuck are we doing?!” Steve slams his fist against the lockers hard, the sound of metal echoing off the tile walls and the vibrations buzzing in Billy’s head.

Billy laughed. “My duffel. Condom, lube, it’s all in there…”

Steve gives Billy a good push into the lockers before walking over to the duffel on the floor and pulling the two aforementioned items out of the bag’s side pocket. He held up the golden foil and small bottle of aloe vera and just stared at them.

“Did you come prepared for this?” Steve asked, it was an accusation.

“This was the plan all along pretty boy, let’s just say I was hopeful.” Billy said as he shifted his feet on the floor so his legs were spread further. “Now quit fucking stalling!”

Steve made his way back over and without warning, introduced an aloe coated finger to his hole that slipped right in, but Billy still gasped.

“Hurry up Harrington! I’m already stretched and ready, fuck me with your dick!” Billy snarled, and threw his hips backwards into Steve.

Steve skipped over a second finger and went straight up to three, while with the help of his free hand and his teeth, he opened up the condom and slipped it over his cock.

“Are you sure?” Steve asked, but it was quickly followed by another slam on the locker doors, this time from Billy.

“Quit treating me like I’m your fucking girlfriend!” Billy shouted, “Hold me down and take what you fucking want!”

Almost instantly, Billy was pushed right back into the wall of lockers and Steve’s fingers had abruptly left their place from inside of him, leaving him with an empty feeling that was quickly relieved by the feeling of something much larger right at his entrance.

Steve’s hands were on him, but they were hardly applying any force, Billy could easily slip through it and that was the exact opposite of what he wanted from him.

“Hold me down while you fuck me!”

Steve responded to that by finally thrusting inside of him and pushing his hands even deeper into his shoulder blades. Billy let out a short moan upon impact, but still wriggled his body unsatisfied.

“Harder!”

Steve didn’t know which part he was talking about, so he responded to both, thrusting in even harder and deeper and pushing his hands down even more.

“More!” Billy demanded, with a maniacal laugh that enraged Steve, and he grew more and more pissed off as Billy continued to squirm around trying to get out of his grip.

“Stop fucking moving!”

“Make me!” Billy yelled. “Fucking make me!”

Steve doesn’t know whether it was the anger, or Billy’s own demands that caused him to bring his hand up to the side of Billy’s head and shove him right into the wall of lockers so that his cheek was firmly smashed against them. Billy’s brain rattled inside of his skull as the force of his head made contact with the metal. He could taste blood on the inside of his mouth where his teeth must have cut, and he didn’t mind, because that’s exactly what he wanted.

“Perfect.” He said, settling any nerves Steve might have had thinking he fucked up with that move. “Now fuck me already.”

Steve didn’t remove his hand from where it was pushing into the side of Billy’s head, all tangled up in with his still wet hair, and his other hand was gripping his bicep, leaving finger shaped bruises as he pushed him hard against the lockers.

Billy was completely immobile as Steve thrusted into him, and his moans and groans were entirely uncensored and bounced off the walls in a chorus coupled with Steve’s own, that were more slicked and held back than his. Steve’s entire body weight was leaning into him and his face found a place to rest just above his shoulder, behind his head where he couldn’t see him, but only feel the heat of his breath against the back of his neck. With just that alone, Billy could feel his own dick twitch and begin to leak with pre and drip to the tile floor that was already infested with athletes foot.

Steve’s breath grew heavier, loud and hot against Billy’s skin, and what Steve did to stop his own panting was to secure his lips around the sensitive skin of Billy’s neck, and Billy gasped, and nearly stopped breathing all together and Steve gently bit down.

“Fuck!” Billy swore, his voice at a loud whisper.

He couldn’t see it, but he knew Steve had a smug fucking grin on his face.

“You like that Hargrove?”

“Shut the fuck up Harrington!”

Steve just laughed and picked up his pace, back to his heavy breathing against his neck, the heat on his wet skin making Billy shiver. He could already tell he wouldn’t last much longer.

But Steve was the first to speak up.

“Ah, I’m gonna fucking cum!” Steve said it like it was a moment of defeat, which made Billy wonder how long it usually took for Steve to reach climax with all those other girls he bragged about taking to bed. But Billy wasn’t one to talk, because he was right there with him.

“Fuck, me too.”

Steve removed the hand that was at Billy’s shoulder, and Billy was about to start complain, but then the same hand found itself wrapped right around Billy’s cock, thumb grazing over the tip with a gentle touch that drastically differed from the still strong force that was Steve’s other hand still pressing into his skull. Billy let out an embarrassingly loud moan as he nearly instantly finished directly into Steve’s hand, but the moan was almost drowned out by Steve’s voice which matched his volume as he filled up the condom from inside Billy after a final slam directly into his prostate, and Steve finally at that moment let up of the force against Billy’s head.

And Billy nearly fell directly to the floor. He couldn’t feel his own fucking legs anymore.

Steve fell backwards into one of the benches behind them, sitting his bare naked ass right on the seat as his whole body slumped forward. He pulled the condom off of his dick with a hand coated in a mixture of lube and Billy’s come.

Billy still hadn’t turned around, all of that confidence he had at the start just washing away in an instant, afraid to face Steve. Nothing started to hurt until it was actually over, and that pain was largely not even physical.

And Steve noticed that. He noticed how Billy’s entire mood changed. Just silent with his face and hands still plastered up against those locker doors like he was holding on for dear life.

Steve wiped his hand off on that towel that dropped to the floor at the whole start of it, and got back up from where he was seated on the locker room bench. He walked up to Billy and placed a firm, but not forceful hand up to Billy’s shoulder where he could already see the redness forming itself into a bruise.

“Hey.” Steve said, his voice soft.

Billy let out a long and heavy breath, like he had been holding it up until the moment Steve spoke. Steve gently turned Billy around to face him, removing him from the lockers he was practically glued to, and did something that was uninvited.

He gently traced his fingers down the length of Billy’s jaw, and when no effort was made to step back or lean away, he kissed him. Gentle on the lips where he could taste the blood on the inside of Billy’s mouth, something he didn’t really want to think too long and hard about. Billy closed his eyes and leaned into it. It was soft and sweet and completely unlike the rough and bruising fuck they just had, and that was the missing piece.

The feeling of Steve’s hands gripping his body and the sight of the bruises he left afterwards stopped feeling like a pain, but a reminder, a good fucking reminder that didn’t last nearly long enough.

But one thing he remembered was that old demand from his little sister back in November. To leave Steve alone. But if ignoring that demand was going to deliver this kind of promise, Billy doesn’t think he’ll be listening to that one any time soon.

[softer-ua]

I was thinking about how Katsuki has never seen Deku in the hospital before and how Deku might be surprised to see him, and how that would probably hurt Katsukis feelings.

Then I decided to be self-indulgent and write the scene out. It was supposed to be short but I got super self-indulgent, because I like making Katsuki feel and making it hurt 🥰

I don’t wanna be unexpected

Deku carefully cracks open his eyes slowly taking in a dark unfamiliar ceiling and the heavy aching of his limbs, he isn’t fully cast anymore but a routine stiffness that tells him he had been.

 He’s grown used to this routine over the last year, he doesn’t even bother trying to sit up. Instead, he just scans the room the best he can from his semi-horizontal position. 

Turning his head to the left he sees an empty visiting chair and a small window letting in the city’s lights. It’s the only light the room has so it must be well into the middle of the night. 

Continuing to the right he sees a small nightstand filled with get-well cards and gifts. It brings a smile to his cracked lips, he’d most certainly cry if his body had the water to spare. 

If you told Deku a year ago that he’d get into UA he might have believed you, but never in a million years would he believe you if you told him he was on friendly terms with at least 1/3 of all of UA’s hero course students. 

Sometimes that felt like the most unbelievable part of everything. Having his idol pass his legacy to him to beat an ancient evil? Crazy but within the realm of his imagination. 

Making close friends with half his class and being at a minimum a positive acquaintance to most of his peers? It was almost unthinkable for a kid who’d spent his whole life being scorned and left out by even his teachers. 

Choked up by his feelings, Deku tries to swallow the painful lump forming in his throat. He’s worried so many people and let them down by getting hospitalized yet again. 

He’s too dehydrated to cry but he can’t help the dry cracked warble that escapes him. It takes a concentrated effort to clear his throat and not break down completely. It wouldn’t be cathartic at this moment, just painful. 

A small groan from the foot of his bed pulls his attention away from reading what he could of the cards. 

What he sees doesn’t instantly register with his groggy mind. That’s not uncommon, usually, the longer he’s out the more disoriented he is upon waking, his body might have made a full recovery but the brain takes longer to re-engage with its surroundings. 

Deku doesn’t expect to see Kacchan of all people in his hospital room at all, let alone when he first wakes up in the dead of night, but the blonde tuft of hair sticking up from a familiar orange hoodie turned makeshift pillow cradled in well-toned arms makes the figure resting over the edge of his hospital bed unmistakable 

Deku would know that pale face pinched into a grimace anywhere. 

It adds to the layer of confusion he’s grown used to as part of waking up hospitalized. It also adds a layer of dread and an equal amount of relief. Things must be pretty bad if Kacchan is here, but Kacchan is here and he looks completely whole. It’s a best worst-case scenario. 

Kacchan lets out a small grunt as he pushes his face deeper into orange cotton. Deku’s heart squeezes at the sight of the blonde's obvious discomfort. 

Kacchan should be at home sleeping in a real bed, not hunched over in a visitor chair clutching a hoodie for a pillow. 

Without thinking Deku calls out “Kacchan?”, his voice just above a whisper, a selfish part of him hopes Kacchan will stay asleep a little longer. That he’ll stay where Deku can see him and knows he’s okay. But he knows it’s selfish. So he calls again a little louder, his voice hoarse and scratchy from lack of use. 

The blonde shoots up, eyes near frantic as he looks around before red irises settle their sites on him with more concern than Deku ever remembers seeing on Kacchan. Well, at least outside a fight and directed at him.

He hopes they're not about to fight, but when it comes to Kacchans temperament… well he’d be a fool to dismiss the possibility of it. 

For a moment all Kacchan does is stare at him. It makes something cold and heavy settle in his stomach. Nothing scares Kacchan, and yet he looks completely shaken. 

“Deku? Are you really awake this time?” Katsuki tries to not make his whisper sound as desperate as he feels. There’s no point getting worked up over another dream or worse a still drug-addled Deku, but this Deku seems to recognize him for the first time, and although tired his green eyes shined with a level of coherency that’s been missing for a few days now.

Katsukis’s chest grew tight seeing it. It paled in comparison to the glimmer of brilliance that usually shone in those beautiful emeralds, but when compared to the unfocused glazed look he had been sporting the last few days? Well, Katsuki thought he just might collapse with relief. 

This is what he’d been waiting for, Deku’s been physically healed for at least 2 days now but consciously he’s been pretty touch and go. “Uh, I think so?” That’s definitely not the kinda question Deku had been expecting, but he has his own question he wants to get to before they get into that. 

Pushing through the dry burning in his throat Deku rattled off the most pressing questions. “How are you feeling? Is everyone okay? Did LOV getaway? What’s going on?” 

Annoyance flashes in Katsukis’s eyes before quieting with acceptance, of course, the nerd wants to know how everyone else is and the current status. Katsuki wanted the same when he first woke up, they were heroes in training, after all. Their own lives would always take a backseat to their self-appointed responsibilities. 

“Hold on. You sound like sh– not good.” Katsuki got up and got the nerd a cup of water and then helped him sit upright, trying to decide on what to tell him. Completely missing the way Deku flushed at his uncharacteristic gentleness. 

Katsuki decided on the bare minimum. 

“I don’t wanna talk about that sh- not good fight right now. All you need to know is that everyone is fine. You’re the only one still layed up, worrying everyone half to death. You’ve been out for almost a week, you woke up a few times but you were all loopy calling people by the wrong names.” 

Calling him by the wrong name. Deku must have said an incoherent hello to half the class only sometimes guessing who he was speaking to correctly or just talking to no one at all before immediately falling back asleep. Deku had of course asked about him more than a few times but not once did the bastard see him sitting right in front of him. 

It had taken every ounce of willpower Katsuki possessed to not throttle him, but he’d promised All Might that for the sake of Auntie Inko he wouldn’t upset the nerd. 

The pride Katsuki had just momentarily taken in thinking to get Deku water, the gentleness he took help the dweeb sit up, and managing not to swear when recounting the transgressions to boot turned ashen when he saw the way Deku shied away with guilt. 

A stubborn part of him felt righteous and believed Deku should feel guilty, a larger part felt a sense of failure in breaking his promise to All Might literally the first time he actually spoke to Deku. 

“Wait, if everyone else is okay what are you doing here?” Deku feels himself relaxing despite his guilt, contentment settling in the spaces where trepidation previously roosted, he trusted Kacchan to be honest. 

If he says everything’s fine then it is, but the lack of pressing news makes Kacchan passed out at the end of his bed even more confusing. 

The painkillers he’s on make thinking feel like everything’s ruining through Windows 95’, he can practically hear his brain's fan whirring. His mind can’t really pull up fresh thoughts, just old truths, Kacchans never visited before and he apparently has no reason to now.

Katsuki sighs as he slumps back into his chair. Deku’s still clearly confused and he isn’t sure he has the energy to repeat himself right now, then considering how he failed the first time he decides might as well try.

“Everyone is fine, everything is as fine as it can be at the moment. You’re in the hospital recovering from the fight with supercharged crusty mcdusty, but you are also apparently going to be fine” Dekus staring at him like he has two heads so he keeps talking. “The league is being dealt with, I’m not talking about the fighting until tomorrow at the earliest, neither of us is in shape for that conversation and I don’t know much myself yet”

Deku’s pinch brows and slight pout tell him he’s got questions, questions he can’t answer. Anytime he even thinks about how the fight went down he feels like he’s going to explode.

Trying to reign in every ounce of self control he possesses he slumps further in his chair rubbing his face and counts to five. Then kicks Dekus hospital bed for good measure, before speaking again.

“Deku just rest, you're clearly still out of it and I don’t wanna repeat myself a third time.” Seriously how many other ways can he say everything is, by a very loose definition, fine. How much clearer can he make it that he’s not giving anything else up?

“Uh you didn’t have to repeat yourself? I believed you the first time, Kacchan” Deku couldn’t help but feel like Kacchan was purposely misinterpreting his question, but why? It shouldn’t be a hard question, he’d really only asked to make conversation and clear up some brain cobwebs.

“Then why did you ask–“ Something ugly and broken twists in Katsuki’s gut as he slowly repeated Dekus' question in his head ‘what are you doing here’.

“I just didn’t expect to see you here if you didn’t have to be.”

Deku wasn’t, hadn’t been, asking why someone was there with him but why he, Katsuki, was there. Deku wanted to know why he was here instead of literally anyone else. Deku didn’t know that Katsuki had basically taken up permanent residence in here with him, probably couldn’t see the cot laying at the foot of his bed.

White-hot rage coursed through him in an instant, after everything they went through Deku thought he’d just ditch him to some extras in scrubs? Katsuki had a bad temper on good sleep, exhausted he was ready to put Deku back in a coma.

He struggled with the feeling of his palms heating, but the second before he felt like detonating Katsuki caught Deku’s eyes in full.

As always they show everything the nerds feeling and the familiarity soothes him in a way he can’t explain. Doesn’t ever want to explain.

It used to drive him up the wall like Deku was purposely giving him messages in a language he couldn’t read. Shoving in his face how inadequate he is in comparison.

Katsuki knows now that’s not the case and over the last few months, he’s actually been learning how to read Deku for the first time in his life.

And he’s discovering that even though it’s an advanced read for him he likes the challenge and even more he likes the victorious warmth that spreads down to his toes when he can tell just what Dekus is thinking without any words.

Right now Deku does look slightly confused and yet still so open and trusting, and his crooked shy smile proves that he is actually happy Katsukis here. His confusion is just that, confusion.

Always glad to see him, always caught off guard by his presence.

As much as the familiarity soothed the recognition hurt.

A couple of months on good terms doesn’t erase all the bad years, he knows this, he’s told himself as much a dozen-plus times.

He’s never visited Deku in the infirmary or the hospital before now.

At first just because his stubborn pride insisted that he couldn’t show weakness/care for someone else because he was above them all, that he had to constantly act like Deku was below him. Even when he recognized Deku as a rival he didn’t visit, partly because of lingering pride but mostly because he felt like he didn’t deserve to.

He was too much of a coward/slave to his pride to risk being turned away.

This time he hadn’t even considered Deku might not want him, he had just selfishly insisted he stay by his side for his own peace of mind.

To see Deku wanted him here but couldn’t understand why Katsuki would want to be here himself left his fingers feeling numb as all the adrenaline drained out of him.

Deku studied Kacchan intently, his explosive rival had turned to him and risen half out his chair looking like he was about to shout at him but when their eyes locked the words had apparently died on his tongue.

Now Kacchan was just staring at him with an unreadable expression entirely unmoving after he plopped back in his seat, never breaking eye contact. It was clear now that Kacchan hadn’t understood his question at first but now he seemed lost at how to answer.

Deku wanted to wait for Kacchan to speak but experience told him he shouldn’t hold his breath.

Besides it was late, as much as he desperately didn’t want him to go, Kacchan should be safely asleep in his own room. It’d be selfish to ask him to stay.

Kacchan probably hadn’t meant to stay as late as he did, he was just prone to falling asleep wherever he was once 9 pm rolled around. Deku knew first hand that Auntie Mitsuki had a very strict bedtime policy that had long been physically instilled into Kacchans psyche.

“Kacchan, it’s late you should head back to the dorms and get some real sleep. I feel fine.” At the sudden incredulous tweak of a blonde eyebrow, Deku rushed to elaborate, “I mean I'm of course tired, and a sore but I feel whole. This is a familiar routine for me, I’m okay.”

Katsuki thought back to what he told All Might a lifetime ago, “he never considers himself”.

Here Deku was laying in a hospital bed concerned about his sleep and knowing just what he wanted/needed to hear, that Deku was okay, straight from the source.

It’s all he’d wanted to hear for almost a week now and he had to press his lips shut into a tight line to keep the embarrassing whimper he felt clawing at his throat from escaping.

“I know that you can go to the front desk and the attendant will call for a UA shuttle, doesn’t matter the time, Todoroki has left as late as 3 am”

Oh if that didn’t have something ugly snapping its jaws and thirsty for blood inside Katsuki. At heart, he’s always been explosively petty.

As much comfort as Todoroki being almost equally worried about Deku had been over the last week anytime anyone so much as even accidentally hinted at the ways Katsuki had failed to be there for Deku before now had him seeing red.

Reminding him how others had stepped up and into the places, Katsuki felt he should have been, felt like a slap in the face. But coming from Deku the anger he felt turned inward.

Where he usually saw red, all he saw was green. Not the warm emerald hue of Deku sitting in front of him, but dark bitter jealous green.

Petulant ‘whys’ clawed at his ribs. Why did people who’d only know Deku for a year have a more prominent roles in the nerds life than he did after knowing him forever, why did Deku have to like those extras so damn much, why didn’t he realize sooner how important Deku was, why did he have to care about any of that at all, why did Deku have to bring up that goddamn candy cane, why did Deku want to send him away, why wasn’t Deku even half as desperate to stay by his side as he was, why why why?!

He voiced none of these thoughts, instead just continued staring grumpily ahead. Hoping Deku didn’t notice how heavy his breathing had gotten or how he tightened his grip on the chair's armrests.

Deku took another sip of water before continuing. “I’m happy you’re here, really, it means a lot to me.” He let a genuine full smile slip on his face, he didn’t want Kacchan thinking he wasn’t grateful for his presence.

He really was happy that Kacchan was the first person he got to see upon waking up.

Circumstantial or not the fact that Kacchan was here with him now was a deep comfort to him and a pleasant way to wake up. Usually, it was to his classmates' forced positivity or his overly fussy weeping mother and that never got easier to deal with. As confusing as the change was it was a nice one. And he told him as much.

Why did Deku always know exactly what to say to people? When he, Katsuki Bakugo, couldn’t say anything at all.

Normally the instant relief his body felt at Deku’s words just pissed him off, but tonight exhaustion took its toll.

He felt the tears he’d been fighting all week fall hot and sticky down his cheeks, embarrassment shame and guilt tinted his face a splotchy pink. When he felt the lump in his throat give way to a choked hiccup he didn’t just crack, he shattered.

Ugly sobs racked through him and he buried his face in his hands and dug his fingers into his hair.

Why was the only familiar part of this him breaking down in front of Deku? He’s known Deku his whole life. He should have been the first and last person in Deku’s hospital room every time from the very beginning if for nothing more than obligation. Any one of those times could have been the last time.

Deku would have slipped away from him, and Katsuki would have been one of the last ones to know.

He hadn’t because he knew it’d always end up like this, him blubbering like a baby over Dekus hospital bed and he couldn’t risk it before. Too desperate to keep that little voice inside him that picks apart his every sign of weakness quiet.

It never goes away and UA had made it so much louder, he couldn’t give more feed to the fire. That’s exactly what Deku does to him.

On bad days Katsuki feels the little claws of insecurity scratching at his brain comparing him to Deku, that Deku’s surpassing him because he’s weak and he’s going to get left behind, he’s going to be forgotten.

On equally bad days he surpasses Deku completely and the voice switches gears, telling him he doesn’t deserve Dekus praises. That he’s a hopeless brat with an oversized ego and Deku’s words are empty. Katsuki hasn’t earned them, and he never will, Deku’s just placating him.

Katsuki doesn’t have good days.

Why did he even care though, Deku has seen him cry a dozen times and never once has it changed anything, hell Deku cries all the time.

But Deku’s never been debilitated by crying the way he is, Deku always keeps moving like he doesn’t even notice he’s crying. But he, Katsuki, can barely breathe around his tears.

Because he’s weak and a coward and everything Dekus not. Deku’s light years ahead of him in being a better person and by proxy a better hero and he’s never going to catch up.

Delirious with exhaustion Katsukis thoughts keep spiraling out of his control, growing more and more vicious.

He doesn’t even deserve to call himself Dekus' rival, Deku’s going to leave him behind, Deku’s going to keep taking on the world by himself because he’s not strong enough to fight alongside him, Dekus going to get himself killed and it’s all his fault. He’s hyperventilating through his sobs now.

“Wha- Kacchan, what’s wrong?” Deku suppressed a small groan at stretching stiff unused muscles as his scrambled brain had him lurch forward to grasp Kacchans wrists, he can see where blunt nails dig into his scalp. Gently as he could, Deku replaces callused hands with his crooked ones.

“Hey look at me.” He lifted Kacchans head to meet his eyes and took deep slow dramatic breaths encouraging Kacchan to match his breathing. Red eyes frantically scanned his face and clutched his wrists tightly like a lifeline, desperate that Deku doesn’t pull away.

Slowly their breathing synchronized, the tears kept flowing though, Deku was certain he was crying now too but he made no move to confirm this. He just kept watching Kacchan, keeping his own breathing steady. This wasn’t the first time he’s had Kacchan match his breathing, but it is the first time he’s been this close and this obvious about it. Then again Kacchans never looked this desperate.

In the past when he’s noticed Kacchans breathing has sped up and his gaze looks far away he’ll nonchalantly sit down next to him like he hasn’t noticed Kacchans problem at all, then he’ll practice his own breathing exercises a little louder than would be considered polite. Consciously or not Kacchan follows suit.

He’d learned the tactic when he was 7 from his mom helping one of their neighbors on the way to the store, a very nice lady he called Auntie Kay. She had some kind of disorder that gave her bad anxiety and had apparently forgotten to take meds that morning and got overwhelmed by the noise. His mom used to be an assisted living caregiver before she became, well his mom, so she had experience with this kind of thing.

Later she explained what she’d been doing. That you're someone they have a long history of trusting you don’t want to get in their space, just reaffirm to them that they’re safe and try to get them to slow their breathing, focus on breathing out.

1, because It’s hard to concentrate if you don’t feel safe. 2, the human body doesn’t know if it has enough oxygen, it knows if it’s getting enough air and if it has too much carbon dioxide in it, and you breathe out carbon dioxide.

That day his mom was like a mini hero, saving the day with a smile. It made him more aware that there’s more to being a hero than just fighting villains, it’s about saving people.

He can’t fight villains from a hospital bed, he could still be there for others. He could be there for Kacchan.

After a minute he hesitantly thumbed away the freshest tears but that seemed to just make things worse as another sob racked through Kacchan and he tightened his grip on his wrists. It wasn’t until Kacchan finally spoke and he reflexively snapped his jaw shut that Deku realized he’d been making soft shushing noises.

Katsuki tightened his grip on Deku’s wrists as he choked on one last sob thinking that Deku was finally pulling away, but when he just continued to thumb his tears away and making soft little noises he let himself believe Deku wasn’t going to dismiss him again.

Katsukis never let himself be comforted like this by anyone, not even as a child, but he was too tired to fight it, too distraught to care about how selfish he’s sure he’s being, and too certain that Deku was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

He’s confronted his own mortality a few times this year but none of it had compared to being confronted in real-time with Dekus. Living with Deku so close to death over the last week had taken its toll on everyone but Katsuki especially had been unraveling more and more each day.

The first day he’d been ready to bring the entire hospital down if he didn’t get to Deku’s side immediately. It only got worse from there.

He’d grown more cantankerous than he’d ever been, but the fire in him had been dying out. By the time Deku first woke up and didn’t recognize him the only thing he’d say to anyone was the same mumbled shut up, only sometimes accompanied by half-hearted sparks daring anyone to try to remove him from the room.

Auntie Inko was distraught too but she had let All Might take her home after that first visit and encouraged her to rest there saying something about how no mother should have to see this side of hero work or whatever.

The doctors were probably just worried about what all those tears might do to their equipment, Katsuki certainly had been even if he hadn’t said so.

Katsuki had promised Inko he’d stay by Deku’s' side, she’d looked conflicted about something but they both silently agreed that was a discussion for another day.

Katsuki doesn’t know what to say now but desperately feels like he needs to say something.

He’s terrified it’ll all come out wrong and freak Deku out, Deku who just woke up for real for the first time! He’s terrified of saying nothing and losing his chance to say anything at all because Deku just woke up for real for the first time in a week!

Deku deserves to hear him apologize for everything, but he doesn’t feel like he’s ready to be forgiven and if Deku doesn’t forgive he doesn’t know what’ll happen to him, he may very well implode.

If Deku turns him away then the kindest thing the universe could do for him would be to ignite every nitroglycerin-soaked cell in his body and just let him go. But the universe isn’t kind and will instead make him force himself out of this room and into a UA shuttle and into a life where everything green fades into bleak gray.

“Kacchan, your muttering” Deku says with the softest smile Katsuki has ever seen, and he feels like all his broken pieces have begun melting.

Deku stays silent, thumbs rubbing gentle circles. He seems content with doing nothing more than smiling at him until the sun comes up. And Katsuki feels another sob rip through him as he forces himself to speak.

“I meant it when I told you to keep your eyes on me.” The desperation in his own voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard to him. “I want you to know to look for me, and that I’ll be there. Even outside of heroing. I want you to expect me at every turn, forever. I don’t wanna be unexpected”

Deku leans forward and Katsuki thinks he’ll stop breathing all over again until their foreheads bump together. Deku’s looking right in his eyes, and he’s so close Katsuki's eyes can barely focus on him. They just stay like that for a small eternity while Katsuki’s heart beats wildly for entirely different reasons. One’s he’s not sure he’s ready to understand.

“Okay, Kacchan”