#I think about this list so often

[asterwild]

the blue-footed booby (Sula nebouxii) is a seabird found in the tropical and sub-tropical Pacific Ocean, along the western coast of the Americas and the Galápagos Islands.

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

OKAY who wants to hear about why i think nimona challenges amatonormativity? you do! 🫵

one of the main ways this is accomplished is through ballister and ambrosius’s relationship. it’s arguable that it doesn’t necessarily fit the traditional model of romance - not only are they a queer interracial couple, and not only is their relationship ambiguous in the book, but there are certain instances, especially in the movie, that subvert traditional ideas of romance and friendship.

one instance that really stands out to me is when the director asks ambrosius what’s on his mind and he goes on his imagined rant about how arm-chopping isn’t a love language - you know the one. when he mentions ballister, he refers to him as “the man i love, my best friend.” and not just one or the other, but both! the man i love, and my best friend. he places equal emphasis on both the romantic and platonic aspects of the relationship, valuing ballister in both a romantic context and a platonic context without treating either one as more important than the other.

and even moments such as the first “i love you” and the kiss manage to subvert tradition. both of these things are generally seen as a pretty big deal, especially in fiction - if the characters are kissing or saying “i love you,” it’s usually a moment in which everything changes. a line is drawn, dividing the story into after and now. sometimes it’s dramatic and climactic, with fireworks and a swell of music, but even when it isn’t it’s still seen as a turning point of sorts. now it’s official, now it’s real. but this isn’t the case in nimona. both moments are certainly significant - they do a good job of showcasing the character development and where ballister and ambrosius are on their respective journeys, and are certainly important in terms of representation - but neither one follows the path that most fictional romance does.

another way in which nimona challenges amatonormativity would be the emphasis on friendship! in the tavern scene (in the movie) when ambrosius suggests killing nimona, ballister disagrees and says “she’s my friend.” ambrosius replies with “aren’t i more than that?”, implying he’s more important than a friend - thus upholding amatonormative ideas. ballister becomes angry at that and leaves - challenging this idea and prioritizing his platonic relationship with nimona over his romantic one with ambrosius, as nimona is the one he wants to defend.

additionally, a big part of this scene is the way ballister deliberately rejects institute values while ambrosius unintentionally upholds them. and because the story challenges homophobia and transphobia (and other forms of bigotry) through the lens of the institute, it would make sense for it to challenge amatonormativity too! it’s something that’s become incredibly normalized, to the point that lots of people don’t even know it exists, and this is reminiscent of the institute brainwashing, especially when it comes to ambrosius - he’s been manipulated his whole life and probably genuinely doesn’t understand the level to which he’s internalized institute beliefs.

ballister prioritizes nimona many times, actually. when he tells ambrosius she’s “smart, kind, and quite sophisticated,” when he’s overjoyed to see her again at the end, when he refuses to kill her and saves her instead. over and over, he proves how much he cares about her, even when this involves directly going against what ambrosius wants - which, of course, is really what the institute wants. a core tenant of amatonormativity is the false notion that romantic relationships are more important or valuable than other types of relationships, but ballister actively goes against this!

to conclude, as a story that at its core is about identity and challenging societal beliefs, nimona defies expectations and traditional ideas of what it should or shouldn’t be. it’s possible that amatonormativity wasn’t what the creators had in mind, but the story still manages to challenge it with grace and elegance. just like its main character, nimona refuses to conform to what others want it to be.

[wonder-worker]

something I find especially entertaining about Edward IV's reign is how Scandalous™ it was lol

he married a woman “whose origins broke all established conventions for English queenship” in a secret ceremony without consulting any of his lords and then made it everyone else's problem. he committed regicide, he committed fratricide; he was accused of bastardry, he was accused of bigamy and a 19-year-long sham marriage, he was accused of using necromancy against his subjects, he was accused of being enchanted by witchcraft by both his wife and his mother-in-law (multiple times). his own mother was said to "rule the king as she pleased" in the early years of his reign. he knew he was hot and actively milked it for money. he was vain as fuck: “he was wont to show himself to those who wished to watch him, and he seized any opportunity that the occasion offered of revealing his fine stature to onlookers”. he knew everything about everyone. "he was more favourable than other princes to foreigners". he was “fond of boon companionship, vanities, debauchery, extravagance and sensual enjoyments”; he was "thought to have indulged in his passions and desires too intemperately”; "it was ever feared he was not chaste”. his subjects publicly gossiped about his sex life, his doctors thought he was insane. NOBODY understood how he was still competent despite all this.

honestly, who was doing it like him?

[lit-in-thy-heart]

[ID: the train hitting a school bus meme. In the first panel, an empty school bus edges over train tracks and is labelled 'writing planned angst' with a train approaching. In the second panel, the train crashes into the bus and knocks it off the tracks. The train is labelled 'different angst suddenly writing itself'. End ID.]

[ghostly-cabbage]

I have officially edited and updated my DP fic recommendation document

I've so far only used it for friends but now I'm wondering if any of you guys would be interested...

[front-facing-pokemon]

[waitineedaname]

I love that the best emotional acting when it comes to facial expressions comes from Lan Wangji (microexpressions) and Jiang Cheng (macroexpressions). Lan Wangji doesn't emote much but when you're keyed in, the tiny little changes in his facial expression are Devastating. Meanwhile Jiang Cheng is feeling Every Emotion, All The Time, and you are going to see it on every inch of his face. He'll go through twenty different expressions in the same amount of seconds and that face journey will be but a brief glimpse into the awful emotional rollercoaster that is Jiang Cheng's life

[rendevok]

fandom ask!!! 6 9 and 17 w/whatever character ((: also just wanted to let u know how much i've grown with ur art lol, i was a big caejose enjoyer and when i started getting into my aa phase i looked back at ur art and saw all the narumitsu stuff and was like hell yeah!!

Omg how fun! I love being able to see works from familiar creators when i explore new fandoms, I’m glad i could be that for you hehe ^^

6. Show us a bit of a WIP!

Since you got me feeling nostalgic, have this caejose wip that i love even if i may never finish it! (Werewolf/vampire au!)

9. Write a recommendation of someone else’s fic you enjoyed!

(tgcf incoming…)

tremble (for my beloved) by yilingcatriarch - there are no words better to describe this than “The Eming Fic”, and the reason it’s what i want to recommend out of the many many fics i’ve loved is because i read it like a week ago and i genuinely cannot stop thinking about it. Such a fun, sweet, and original concept & execution. I really enjoyed it! So- easy to read and easy to love! I really hope the author might consider writing a sequel someday, but truthfully it’s perfect as is!

17. What’s a book, movie, or show you think [character] would like?

OHOHOHOHOO OK SO!! (7yg narumitsu + trucy, no one is surprised atp)

I have a bit of a headcanon surrounding it, but i think that Phoenix, Trucy, and Miles would enjoy watching Perry Mason together to try and see who can figure out the truth/true criminal first! (Bonus points bc! MASON + 7YG!!) The hc is that they would habitually watch an episode or two at the end of the day, and compete see who ends up with the highest accuracy rate. This show has just enough niche/antiquated culture knowledge (Miles), random character motive bs (Phoenix), and “guy who was on screen but nobody noticed” (Trucy) for it to be a relatively fair competition between the three of them. Trucy definitely wins out in the end though, by a small but reasonable margin.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[void-and-virtue]

How awkward do you think would it have been if one of Neil’s 22 names had been that of a teammate? If he’d spent a couple months as a “Matt” or “Nick” (short for Nicholas) or worse, “Aaron”? What if one of Neil’s old aliases had been “Andrew”?

[markiafc]

to fulfill my promises to @ananeiah and to expound on @seventh-fantasy's post, there are many conceptions of enlightenment. because buddhism is a massive and old religion with a very robust canon, enlightenment goes by many names, it's articulated and imagined in many different ways. let's play the game of how many of them are adopted by the show...

popular metaphors that embody enlightenment include a refuge, a flame going out, or a firm island - because this world is often described as an ocean. all human beings are floating in the 生死苦海 sea of rebirth and suffering. to escape it, one must make their way to the island or to get on a boat. mahayana buddhism (aka. chinese buddhism) is literally named 大乘 the great vehicle, the primary idea being that enlightenment = to board a vehicle of transport, it will take you away. however, buddhism doesn't just envision this as an ambiguous vehicle. 乘 the vehicle specifically refers to a 船 boat.

the mortal world and the cycle of suffering is a sea and the way out is enlightenment, envisioned as a boat.

an extension of this is the concept of 彼岸 the faraway shore (alt tl: the further shore, the distant shore, the other shore, or at times the opposing shore). it draws on the same notion of 苦海 the ocean of suffering. to achieve enlightenment is to swim to shore, where there is finally safety and stability, free from suffering. this is why the euphemism for enlightenment is to 度到彼岸 reach the faraway shore.

此岸 this shore, is this ever-changing world full of agonies. you wade across the 苦海 sea of suffering, and reach 彼岸 the faraway shore. this is enlightenment.

as @seventh-fantasy depicts in this post, the final shot of ep 40, and as seen in the bonus ep 40.5, this is where llh is. ep 40 ends with the camera moving further into the distance, moving further into the sea. and the bonus ep 40.5 makes it clear again that lxy/llh has found his way to a different beach. llh has crossed the sea to another beach. he is on another shore, the 彼岸 faraway shore, far from 东海 the east sea where everyone else is.

let's look even closer at this.

enlightenment is also conceived as a place: 淨土 the pure lands, 极乐世界 the realm of greatest bliss, and so on. one of the geographical markers of this idea is 西 the west. this "land" accessible only to the enlightened (佛 buddhas, 菩萨 bodhisattvas, and 阿罗汉 arhats) is also dubbed 西方淨土 the western pure lands and 西天 the western heavens, etc.

enlightenment is imagined to be westwards. the opposite direction and away from 东海 dong hai = the east sea. where the story began and lxy famously plunged into; he fell into the 苦海 sea of suffering located in the 东 east. from this starting point, llh makes a meandering journey to his final location in the show. he makes his way 西 west, towards enlightenment, and reaches a 彼岸 faraway shore, the enlightened "after" and what is beyond.

now that we're on the topic of the pure lands, it's worth mentioning that this concept is furnished with a lot of descriptions in buddhist sutras. it is a beautiful, glorious land brimming with lotuses. because, of course, the lotus is yet another ubiquitous image that represents enlightenment.

the lotus position is crucial to the buddhist practice of prayer cultivation, especially in 禅宗 zen buddhism that is built around the central practice of prayer. lotuses are motifs in buddhist art, and buddhist myths (the legend goes that lotus flowers bloomed under the buddha's feet when he took his first steps as a child). people practicing buddhism are referred to as 莲友 lotus friends, 芬陀利花 the white lotus is a synonym for the buddha. lotuses are also integral to buddhist canon; the pure lands are detailed to have seven 宝莲池 treasure lotus ponds. every buddhist has their own lotus waiting for them in the pure lands; it is believed the more you cultivate, the more your bud in the pure lands grows/blooms.

of note, every living thing residing in the pure lands are made from lotuses. in fact, buddhist canon states that the enlightened are reborn inside a lotus bud, similar to an incubation. their new body is reconstituted from lotuses and they emerge anew when the bud blooms. crucially, it is also stated that every enlightened in the pure lands will have 莲花座 a lotus seat. this is a vehicle of transport, usually likened to the magic carpet from one thousand and one nights. it is described as 随心所欲、飞翔自在 something that acts after your heart's desire, something that flies free. the lotus seat is about boundless, freeing travel.

this isn't comprehensive at all, there are tons of other ways lotuses come up throughout buddhism. but the connection to the show is straightforward and self-explanatory. the primary motif in 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook is the lotus - a famous marker for buddhism itself. one of the dominant illustrations of enlightenment, the cultivation process to achieve it, and enlightened entities themselves.

the buddhist notions of rebirth are similarly heavily intertwined with the lotus. it is your body; you become it, it becomes you. from then on, you are surrounded by its image and its presence. you even have a lotus vehicle that becomes your main method of travel, a mode of travel defined by carefree contentment. sound familiar? llh's identity and his living carries major markers of enlightenment. it is one of the primary concerns of his character arc.

quick detour. a prominent moniker for enlightenment is the setting of the sun, as yet another epithet utilized by the drama.

detour over. crazy connections time.

discussions of death and suicide is, to my knowledge, particularly prominent in japanese buddhism. but as a whole, a significant portion of buddhist canon and a good number of buddhist media deals with this too. dying as a means to get closer to enlightenment, equating death and enlightenment, the subject of suicide itself. characters seemingly pass away and become enlightened, or characters strive for death with this express purpose as death is connected to enlightenment. this is true. one does not necessarily cause the other, but the concepts are interconnected in buddhism. it comes hand in hand, dissecting one means dissecting the other and vice versa.

most buddhist texts and masters do not condone a direct correlation, suicide is not the way to enlightenment. there is no buddhist value to killing yourself. but the key exception lies in one of the most important buddhist texts: the lotus sutra.

"These include several themes dealing explicitly with death, such as how suicide was committed to speed up rebirth in the Pure Land based on the sanctioning of voluntary death as a superior form of sacrifice in Chapter 23 of the Lotus Sutra ..." [1]

the chapter 23 in question talks about a bodhisattva who turns himself into a human candle and burns himself up, in offering to the buddha. there is more to the story, but it mainly functions as a lesson about cultivation and enlightenment.

in the canon about buddhist suffering, there lies a subset dedicated to physical pain and torment. there is a heavy focus on our 5 senses, specifically (that's a whole separate topic i won't go into here). very briefly, to suffer is to experience the world through our 5 senses. to live as a human being is to suffer in a sensory way.

buddhism aspires to transcend this flesh and blood suffering. so annihilation of one's body is an essential step to achieve enlightenment. usually, this theory centers natural death and decay. you accept that you are always aging, your senses will lose their edge, your body is always subject to illness, injury and other failings. let the body waste away, it will do so regardless.

hence, the human body is set on a course of gradual deterioration. this suffering is processed through our 5 senses and is defined by them. in the face of this, the lotus sutra is the only notable buddhist text that looks kindly upon "voluntary death" to transcend it.

similarly, llh accepts the effects of bicha on his body. it mimics the natural decline of the human body, accelerating the degradation of his senses, his immune system, and his physical capabilities in general. his experience of this form of suffering is also emphasized through a period losing his sense of sight. it is a very buddhist torment. but at the end of the day, it is still a man-made, unnatural cause generating this effect. accepting this is not the same as accepting 生老病死 death via age, sickness and other natural processes.

llh embodies the sentiments and themes in the lotus sutra when he consciously chooses to let bicha run its course. he chooses to die, it is a "voluntary death". let this destroy his body. let this suicidal choice (though its more nuanced than simply suicide imo) free him from buddhist physical suffering. thus bringing him closer to peace, a version of himself that will be happier.

finally, enlightenment is about ambiguity.

凡人 the common people are incapable of comprehending enlightenment. it is understood that the human senses and the human mind is too inept and unrefined, too clouded by illusions, to grasp it. there are a million ways to express it, depict it, and name it. but there is a consensus across buddhism that these are simply aids for the common student of buddhism, and they are not accurate to the truth. at the core of enlightenment is an abstraction, an inherent unknowing.

it is, by definition, a departure and a continuation. it is a removal from this world and a transition into another place, another realm. all at once, the phenomenon straddles a greyness between an ending and a beginning. it is unclear whether the enlightened has left, or is it the common man who is so lacking he cannot recognize or even perceive the enlightened? in the theory of enlightenment, buddhism accounts for both factors. but we will never know for sure.

where do the enlightened go? where are they, where have they gone? these are questions buddhists often ask and explore, and it is also the question that the remaining cast engages with. what is enlightenment, exactly? there is a suspicion, some notion of what must have happened. it might be death, it might not be. only the enlightened can answer this, everyone else is left without clarity.

in the end, the seekers get close to the answer but there is no real fruition. and so the search lasts indefinitely.

that, too, is part and parcel to enlightenment.

as for how enlightenment narratives function, i leave you with this.

"Nirvana provides the full stop (period) in the religious story; it gives what one might call, to use Frank Kermode's well-known phrase, "the sense of an ending" - that is, a real ending and not a mere breaking off. Such an ending is only possible within a narrative.

[...]

Nirvana, I want to suggest, is a moment within a discursive or practical dynamic, a formal element of closure in structure of Buddhist imagination, texts, and rituals. One might say that nirvana has primarily a syntactic rather than semantic value: it is the moment of ending which gives structure to the whole. The fact of narrative structure and closure provides a meaningful and satisfying resolution, although in itself nirvana has merely the formal value of a closure marker.

[...]

Earlier I called nirvana the full stop (period) in the Buddhist religious story; now I can add that it is a full stop in an eternal story, a full stop which brings closure to individual lives in a master text which itself can have no final ending." [2]

Sources:

Tragedy and Salvation in the Floating World: Chikamatsu's Double Suicide Drama as Millenarian Discourse by Steven Heine ↩︎

Nirvāna, Time, and Narrative by Steven Collins ↩︎

[undermycoat]

Would you share more about your royjamie historical au?

yeah!! ive not written much for it but ive rolled it around in my brain a bit LOL so "historical" is a bit of a misnomer as it's more an unspecified setting with prince jamie x lord roy, where jamie is in need of a wife and roy is in need of a husband.... for his sister.

so the kents go to visit the tartts (pretend jamie's dad is out of the picture maybe? and his mom is serving as either queen regnant or regent im not sure yet but it's not suuuuper relevant. but jamie is of marrying age and it's not that he needs to get married like urgently. she just thinks a guiding hand might be good..

and you might be like "ok but what about keeley?" GOOD QUESTION. she serves georgie as like a maid so it's kinda.. well. would georgie mind it? not at all, jamie should marry someone he loves or at least someone he can grow to love. but keeley is like "don't even think about it" so. not even cuz of status but cuz she's just not into it and under georgie she really doesn't need to.. but j/k are like together in a sense. actually the fic starts with her kicking jamie out of his own bed and being like "the kents are coming today let's go!"

honestly i don't know english history very well... but it all has to be fictional anyway cuz. obviously. but it's like in the past and shit. also bumbercatch gets to be spymaster even tho idk if that will ever be relevant to the story either. plus he'd prolly rather be a rebel but wouldn't it be neat if there was a secret plot but that is so irrelevant. oh my god. but yeah spymaster bumbercatch bc why not 🫶 theres a lot of extra information i have for this fic that wont make the cut but whatever . love and light

i do have an actual historical au in mind set during the revolutionary war era where roy is a soldier who stays with the tartts under the quartering acts (in america obvs) but idk if that will ever see the light of ao3 bc it's a bit niche innit?

[noisemastter]

stimming isnt enough anymore i need to kill him

[pinkestlittlebutterfly]

May I request 41? :D

It’s not as good as my mom’s. 

Tooru took them out for lunch that day. Mahiru, being only five, asked for the only thing he understood on the menu his uncle read to him; curry with chunks of carrot and meat, served on fine, white rice. 

His mother laughed when he said it. She taught him how to make it that night, and he slowly, carefully chopped vegetables as she talked of how to soften the meat and when to add the carrots. That memory is one of his favourites. 

It’s not as good as my mom’s.

He’s fifteen now, and doesn’t go out to eat anymore. The apartment is silent save for the bubbling pot on his stove, in which chunks of carrot and meat slowly turn as he stirs, frowning at the brown sludge they’re swimming in. 

He never quite managed to make it taste like hers, no matter how well she taught him. But it’s close enough to make him think of her and the brighter spots in their life, so he cooks it again and again, and eats it alone by the kitchen table, and gives it away to everyone in need of a warm bowl of curry to feel a little less alone. 

Years later, loneliness is but a distant shadow in his mind. He’s taken out for lunch again – he forgot the occasion but doesn’t mind all that much. Kuro is there, too; and Sakuya, and every other friend he ever made in all that time. 

“It’s not as good as Mahiru’s.”

It’s Kuro who says it, to Sakuya who nods sagely in agreement. There’s curry on his plate, with chunks of carrot and meat, served on fine, white rice. 

It’s an offhand remark, met with murmurs of agreement around the table before the conversation moves on. Mahiru allows himself to stay in that little, golden moment for just a second longer. 

It’s comforting, in a way he never felt before. 

#41 “Comfort Food” from this lovely list of prompts 

[quiltedlovers]

finally watched heartstopper because one of the part time kids from when i worked at the bakery really wanted me to for the longest time and i was feeling sentimental. i don’t think i have ever wished so strongly to have had a piece of media as a teenager + have never felt so much gratitude that kids get to have it now