#I think it's green... ¯\(°_o)/¯

[elysiansugar]

❇️*.⠀Green Mandela Art !

cr: Senya Wowart on Youtube ☆ credit if use

[reshinless]

Can you write kinich x reader smut

──── i w'na ride?!

𝜗𝜚 synopsis. whatever position he wants >_o

𝜗𝜚 pairings. kinich x gn!afab!reader(?) see this however u want cuz in som of the bullets i use boobs or discreetly mention chests (kinich is also a lowk perv)

𝜗𝜚 director's notice. i'll explain why he'd like this trust me, !!nsfw content ahead!!

inspired by the moments where he kept hitting the pose where his hands behind his head plus the one scene where he sat in a tree with his hands behind his back (or maybe i'm imagining things.)

kinich who reluctantly visits the beach(es) plus hot springs in the toyac springs region because mualani says you both need it, seeing as how much you both work beside each other, you'll definitely need a nice bath! especially the rumors of the heated conditions the springs seem to excrete.

kinich who no matter how long you and him have met each other, he'll never get used to seeing you in a bathing suit. even when you both were still kids fooling around on the beach with mualani. the atmosphere back then has almost never changed, walking along the sandy coast, feeling each little particle fall over your toes, the sun roughly about to set, the scenery was a sight to behold!

now that you both were older.. he would be lying if he said he wasn't attracted to you, your way of fighting, your appearance, how well you compliment him, it was almost like a corrupt addiction. even ajaw mentions how cheesy it is each time he sees kinich looking at you, whether it be lust or love in his green eyes.

mualani was overjoyed to hear that you've never gone out to swim, especially in the temperature she's usually in. kinich decides to tag along, totally not because he definitely wouldn't mind seeing you in different swimsuits/trunks.

kinich who you didn't mind letting him stay outside the changing room while you put on different suits while mualani actually help you choose (unlike someone who just kept ogling his eyes at you)

mualani who chose something that revealed more than appropriate portion of your skin (which was a lot, and imagine this similar to the one lumine wore!!), kinich who couldn't stop eyeing you up and down, ajaw teasing with digital sunglasses over his face; "y'know sunglasses help cover up what you're tryna look at!"

cue kinich smacking bro away again :pray:

you only got more attractive in his eyes. watching how you walk up to him, holding out a bottle of sunscreen to him, asking if he'd put some on your back before you'd go surfing on mualani's shark.

kinich didn't wanna admit but he was a little more than just turned on while spreading the lotion over your shoulders and back down to your back, his calloused hands feeling you up and down..

kinich who felt a little guilty but couldn't help but always slowly let his view dip down to your ass. shit he could already imagine what it'd look like without that last piece of clothing. too bad he can't rip it off you right here and now.

kinich who ran his hands around your chest, your sides, every curve that you wouldn't suspect him from.. he could already feel the tent in his pants rise.

kinich who couldn't resist looking at your pretty body through the blurriness of the water, almost forgetting to swim back up from being a little more than distracted. only coming back up after mualani mentions he's the winner of holding their breath underwater challenge.

a sigh of relief.. or maybe pleasure rather remembering yesterday on how close he got to be to you, palming his erection with hurriedness, thinking of how soft you felt under his fingers, only a thin layer of sunscreen that wouldn't make it weird between you both, kinich catches himself moan your name quietly in the changing room before he goes back out to you and mualani for day two of your summer break of 5 days in total.

sitting under the comfortable shade of an umbrella he brought, putting sunglasses on to rest for a bit before going in the water, or at least that is what it looks like. in all real reality, he was taking sneaky glances at you from less than appropriate angles, he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it.

kinich could barely hold himself back for the next 2 days, wherein you all toured around mualani's hometown (for the sixtieth time, but then again it never gets old seeing a different culture every now and then!)

on the last day of your adventures with mualani, she offers for you both to finally bask in the warmth of the hot springs! the natural wonder of her home! kinich was reluctant at first, but agreed seeing how you were just oh-so happy to oblige.

this time, mualani got you a different swimsuit, one muuuuuchhh more revealing this time. it's clear now that she knows kinich's little crush on you, and now she knew that you liked him back.

mualani who coincidentally forgot the milk, and silly snacks she baked earlier that morning, oh would you look at the time! i guess she has to go get them... kinich who lowkey panicks, he already is a little flustered from your new look (but manages to quickly cool himself down)

kinich who is gentle while letting you slowly dip your feet into the water, this wasn't his first time here but he knew it was yours, stepping into the water first while holding your palms softly.

you two finally both sit in the springs comfortably, right in front of him, talking about whatever you and mualani did while he sunbathed (under an umbrella). building sandcastles and such.

"ahhh... kinichhhh! you should've been there. i would've wanted you there at least, dunno about mualani-" it felt like almost immediately his trunks tightened.. maybe he got the wrong size?

oh but the sound of you verbally saying you needed him definitely is a huge turn on. well you didn't necessarily say 'need' but you definitely wanted him there, good enough.

kinich who already has you straddled on top of him, directly on his boner, fuck he could feel it already. his hands are already on your hips letting you grind over his erection, this felt better than he could've ever fantasized of!

kinich who lets you ride him, the water you both were already surrounded only made it sound all the more dirtier. it didn't help that the sly little smile on your face, all he could do was bury his face into an arm of his own, looking away from you.

kinich whose hands were in his hair, intertwining with every little strand, the flush on his face only worsened each time you bounced on it, he could barely make eye contact with you, not because he didn't want you.. ohh it was because he thinks if he did he'd come immediately!!

kinich who holds you close as his climax comes closer as well, holding you tight in his embrace, he could feel your warmth, your skin, your everything, all he could was quickly drift his calloused palms back down to your hips, making sure no drop of cum was waaaasssttteeedddd

you could see how good you made him feel, even with just a sneaky, yet lustful glance, yet plop plop plop is all you can hear echoing throughout the cave, your hands propped up on the wall as kinich pushed against your back, his grunts only getting louder, eager to please you. seeing how your eyebrows knotted

kinich who felt intoxicated as hell in your scent, almost breathless as his head fits into the empty slot right beside your collar, fire pooled down inside your abdomen as you slowly reached your peak, watching how beautifully your eyes rolled back, feeling warm semen shoot up in your stomach. holy shit were you a beauty to see.

the musky scent of sweat mixed with the warm water below you both, kinich could still feel you clench harshly on his cock, even after release, fixed & still processing what you both had just done.

kinich who brings you out the bath, wrapped in a towel, bridal style and all, before mualani can come back with the milk and snacks- "hey what is that white stuff mixed in the water- what did you two do?!"

kinich who holds your hand while you both stroll throughout the shops opened up at nighttime, the constellations in the sky connected like it was used to it, the fresh scent of grilled fish was clear in the air's aroma, filling everyone's noses, mualani couldn't just give all this fish just to you two anyway!

kinich who fully confessed his feelings to you, no sex no lust, just him wanting you to sense how much he's been longing for you, in hopes you'd reciprocate it. in which you did with open arms!

m: "aha! i knew it! you both finally told each other you like each other didn't you!!", k: "no need to shout.", y/n: "i suppose!"

mualani will stop teasing for now, and let you two be, just with each other as the stars reflect off the light you've shone into his life.

kinda cringe might delete :100:

[tobacconist]

What’s your opinion on the meaning of Green Grow the Rushes

oh! i was about to say 'i dont think ive heard that, actually' but i have! (or atleast a version of it)

i think it probably began as a simple childrens counting song a la one two buckle my shoe which someone at some point decided to add a basic 'peasants catechism' to each of the numbers, and as a simple tune passed on orally by illiterate people, gradually they would add their own little mnemonics to it hence the incredible number of variations on the lyrics (and also their... slightly 'garbled' nature?)

heres the version i know:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Grow_the_Rushes,_O

[bellshazes]

grian and/or martyn for the ask game -_o

Grian - Which game rules/mechanics would you like to keep, and which ones would you like to change/take away?

It really feels like they were testing out no chat notifications during 100hr since it's the same server and all and I think that would absolutely rule in some way. More lying, more misinformation, more stupid decisions based on incomplete info please and thank you <3 You could still see if someone'd died by tabbing but I love the potential to lie about cause of death and more.

I do think the no red friendships rule needs tweaking. If that's kept in some way, it needs to be balanced because the potential dynamics of red-green alliances and backdoor dealings are too good to ban entirely. Even if it's like... no public red-green alliances. But you can have secret ones! Or you get a government assigned partner and you're stuck with them. Randomly assigned teams isn't likely but I think that could be really fun too, since a lot of what I (& likely y'all) find compelling is the tension between self-preservation and the need to rely on someone else to survive, someone who now or later may use your alliance to ruin you. Putting random teams out into the universe as my s4 prediction, just for fun.

Martyn InTheLittleWood - Share a headcanon you have about the world of Last Life that somehow includes Season 3 (eg. something that’s relevant throughout all the seasons, something that ties previous seasons into season three, etc.)

I'm not sure I have any headcanons that would qualify, esp better than you yourself put it LOL. I love the recurring themes as well, but something I'm think about often is how Bdubs has played to two wildly different poles of playstyle, because at the center is the fact that he is unwavering loyal to exactly one person, his chosen partner, and fuck all else. He does this in 3L on both ends of the recklessness spectrum with Cleo, which is part of what's so good about the Crastle - they each take turns being reckless and a bit bloodthirsty, and then trying to keep the other one safe and sane. But she's the generally more bloodthirsty, so he builds a perfect tower with impenetrable defenses to keep them both as safe as he knows how, and it alone stands tall at the end, outliving them both.

With Etho, he knows Etho likes to take risks but calculated ones; he can't offer better skills and he had designed them a base that could never be burned down, not like Etho's woollen disaster in 3L, but bad luck meant they couldn't even get that. He doesn't have the relative skill to be a sword for Etho - or perhaps, not the patience, as he dies for the last time trying - so he leans into the recklessness because the one thing between them they have in spades is trust.

This, I think, is what makes "I trusted you because Bdubs trusted you" so sweet and heartwrenching. Cleo, whose arrival in the snow fort made Bdubs say finally, now it feels like home, quietly breaks a rule in solidarity with Etho to say, I remember last time. I know what it's like to have Bdubs' trust, and there's an air of weight to that. Tango calls Etho a survivalist when Bdubs insists Etho loves him, and when Etho's talking to Cleo after Bdubs dies, that's what they are. Lonely, but not quite alone.

So if there's a head canon in here, it's maybe that... Bdubs remembers. And his partners do, too, a little - I don't know how much detail or consciously, but people want to break the rules a little bit for him, the way he tugs at whatever threads need tugged. The slate might get cleaned, but Bdubs' partnerships are indelible, and by some strange grace or skill, he gets away with that. I can't wait to see what new fucked-up things he does out of loyalty in season 3.

[system76]

UYPP: Ben Ruel's Garage Garden

Back in March, we announced the winners for our Unleash Your Potential Program, in which six participants got to configure their own System76 computer to use for their awesome projects. This first awesome project is the Garage Garden, helmed by awesome project-er, engineer, and mighty green thumb Ben Ruel. We sat down with Ben to see how his project has been growing on the Meerkat.

Can you tell us about the Garage Garden project? What's it all about?

I spent a career with the Coast Guard and came up here—my final tour with the Coast Guard was in Juneau. Being in southeast Alaska, we’re constrained with what they call off-the-road systems, and the only way in or out of town is by boat or by plane. So all of our food comes up here by barge for a small nominal fee, or by aircraft for an incredibly large fee.

When I came up to Juneau with my wife and kids 11 years ago, we noticed that by the time our produce gets up here, it’s lived on a barge a week, two weeks out of Seattle, and you have no shelf life left on them. We started trying to grow food within the first year of getting here, and we came to the conclusion pretty quickly that with 300 days plus of rain every year, outdoor growing wasn’t really a viable option. That’s when we started a hobby farm in a garage growing some stuff in soil under fluorescent lights, as odd as that sounds.

Since then, we’ve progressed into hydroponics, but we’ve done it very manually. We go out every other day and take readings by hand, so I’ve been doing some research about building IOT devices that will talk back and automate some of the readings. My dream would be using it to actually control the concentration of nutrient solutions that we use. The overall goal is we’re going to build the hydroponic monitoring network of IOT devices, and use the Meerkat as a control center for the devices and a repository for all the data. We’ve also been doing some investigating behind the scenes into whether or not it could grow enough legs to become a business.

Is there a specific type of produce that you’re starting with?

We’ve been all over the road. Right now we’ve got lettuce. We’ve always got some kind of green leafy vegetables whether it’s any variety of lettuce that will grow hydro, some bok choy and tatsoi, and we’re growing kale like it’s going out of style. We’ve grown cucumbers to the point where I think I’ve harvested 65 pounds of cucumbers off of 4 plants over the last couple of months, but we’re really constrained by our size.

I live in a relatively small 3-bedroom house, and we’re just using a one-and-a-half car garage as our grow area. Right now I’ve got two tents. As funny as it sounds, cannabis is legal in Alaska and has been forever—my wife and I don’t touch the stuff, but because it’s been legalized, the infrastructure and the supplies that we need are freely available. We’re growing tomatoes in a tent that’s designed for marijuana growth. It works really well. It helps to maintain efficient temperature control; you can maintain temperature and humidity, block out extraneous light if you don’t want it, and cycle the lights on and off.

Depending on whether it’s too hot in the summer we’ll run the lights at night, and in the wintertime we’re looking for extra warmth, we can shift the cycle and run the lights during the day. Our big benefit up here is that, because Juneau’s all on hydroelectric power, electricity is really cheap.

What variables are being monitored?

With hydroponics, there’s a good number of parameters that you’ve got to try and keep track of. You’re basically diluting nutrients in a solution of as pure water as you can get. You want to keep track of things—your pH can’t be too acidic or too alkaline, for example.

The other big parameter is the electrical conductivity, or total dissolved solids. You want to make sure you’ve got the right concentration of nutrients, and that your nutrient solution isn’t salting up. As you’re adjusting pH back and forth, it’ll start demineralizing salt, so tracking that data gives you a good indication for when it’s time to dump the reservoir and start over.

We’re doing it manually now. I go out every couple of days and we take samples, and sit down and log it into a spreadsheet. The Meerkat acts as a control center for programming devices, keeping a repository of the programming for the IOT devices that we’re using (Arduinos with the esp8266 chips) as well as running different database programs as Docker containers, so that they can be spun up and knocked down fast enough as we try and figure out what the best way to move forward is. We’ve got a couple of database servers that I’ve been playing around with, trying to break from traditional SQL and looking at NoSQL type of databases.

I’m not an IT guy by trade. I’m more of an electronics guy, so I’m kind of doing it as a study-by-night type of project.

What has your experience been like with the Meerkat so far?

I’m actually completely blown away by the Meerkat’s performance. It’s astounding what that small form factor and footprint is able to do. I’ve used Linux for a number of years, and basically everybody’s heard of System76. I’ve seen Pop!_OS before and never really played with it all that much, but I’ve actually grown to love it. The feel, the ergonomics, the interface, and even down to the color schemes that come bone-stock right out of the box. They just make more sense to me. I’m looking forward to the COSMIC update after researching that to see how the differences in the workflow will affect things.

What software are you using for this project?

Right now we’re writing in Docker containers and running the Tick Stack from Influx. We’re also running Telegraf, Protograph, Capacitor, playing around with the Time Series Database, I’ve got a container running MongoDB I run with SQLite, and there’s a couple different IDEs I’ve got loaded on there as well for programming Arduinos or esp8266 chip flashing.

How was the setup process for the machine?

It was up and running within 10–15 minutes of pulling it out of the box. I actually took it to work, too. We do a lot of work with government agencies, and I’ve been doing a lot of microwave radio repair. I’ve got a pretty small workbench at our shop here in Juneau, so using the Meerkat to drive all of our test equipment to control the radio while logging data coming out of the radio, it was perfect. It had enough horsepower to remotely control the test equipment. I wasn’t pushing it all that hard, but setting it up and going back and forth between having it at home or at work, it was negligible to get it up and running.

Stay tuned for further updates from Ben Ruel’s Garage Garden and cool projects from our other UYPP winners!

[eschergirls]

Originally published at: https://eschergirls.com/photo/2020/04/22/totally-true-gender-science-pc-zone

From Jess Morrissette on Twitter (with permission):

"For some women, the 3D space and layout of an area in a game like Quake is not immediately obvious to them. Tunnels which lead off from a room, or even the entire architecture of the room, may be 'invisible.'" Source: "How to Get Your Girlfriend Into Games" (PC Zone, May 1999).

Holy s- this piece.  And way to go with the "As your experiences in bed have undoubtedly told you, there is no bigger turn-off than a complete systems failure" part that seems to insult the presumed-to-be-male audience too? -_o  And the "science" snippet that says women can't play FPSes because we can't navigate 3D space, but women are good at adventure games because women talk more than men... but remember gamer guys, don't complain about women being bad at things because you used to be a girl in your mom's womb once! Holy cow, PC Zone, not helping.

Transcription for screenreaders (big thanks to Bella (@MoviePosters00) for the transcription):

HOW TO GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND INTO GAMES

You've been playing games for years, but just imagine what they must look like from a non-gamer's point of view. They suck. The graphics are crap. Look out of your window — that's good graphics. These just look shoddy and blocky in comparison.

And what's with all the violence? Why do you have to kill everybody? Why can't you just talk to them? And what are these locations? Cathedrals? Dungeons? Catacombs? God, it's all so dark and depressing. And why are there so many blokes in these games? And what the hell am I doing spending hours playing this when I could be out talking to people, reading books, watching films, living life... This is how girls think.

Girls and games rarely mix. They rarely mix because you — man, boy, bloke, fellow, chap, me lad —you designed them.

Unlike most other examples of popular culture, computer games are predominantly designed and programmed by blokes and so inevitably appeal to men and the male tick-list of desirable experiences: being a superhero, being competitive, being murderous, and doing things fast.

Sure, we play the odd puzzler like Tetris. And yes, we can be found occasionally talking to elves in adventure games. But on the whole, we want violence, people's heads exploding, fast cars, big jets and gouts of hot arterial blood splattered against cobblestones. We want wars and vast armies of ourselves crushing other vast armies of people different to us into the dust.

She thinks: "Why play stupid computer games when you could be making me a cup of tea, paying me some attention, taking me out (or whatever your relationship revolves around)?"

You think: "Why waste valuable time attending to you when I've got to complete this freaking level?"

She strops. You grit your teeth. You feel bad about playing so you grab what gameplay you can in unsatisfying snatches, standing up every five to ten minutes and stroking her hair.

You say: "You okay?" She says: "Yeah. Guess so." You sprint back to your machine for another five-minute burst. Suddenly it's 2am. She's face-down asleep and you're having just one more go. Relationship: terminated.

Obviously, the ideal situation would be for both of you to like games. Those with PlayStations will probably have already experienced a touch of curiosity about games from their partners. But if the PlayStation is designed to be simple and appealing, the PC is a horrible beige monolith, forced to do games as an afterthought.

But it can be done. You can get your girlfriend playing games. We at PC ZONE have designed a 12-Part System. It takes some planning and no small amount of patience. We can't guarantee 100 per cent results but we believe, if you follow this plan, at the least, she will have some idea of why the hell you play games in the first place.

THE 12 RULES OF GIRLFRIEND GAMING

Step-by-step techniques for getting your girlfriend into games

1 CHOOSE WISELY

There's no point throwing her directly into Falcon 4 or Dark Reign II. Keep your game choices simple and realistic. Choose a game with strong interactive qualities and with real-life locations. There aren't, however, many good girl games on the PC.

PC ZONE chooses:

Half-Life

The hazard course is a particularly good starting point. It takes a while to get going but once they're hooked, they'll never stop.

Tomb Raider III

Despite what feminists say about her bosoms, girls like playing girls. Especially strong, agile ones.

Motocross Madness

Great driving game set 'outside', with hyper-realistic graphics. Exhilarating and amusing.

Creatures 2

Yeah, yeah, they "get to raise babies". Easy joke.

Worms

Because you can name the worms and then blow them up.

Quake II

Multiplayer especially. They'll hate it at first but try and try again. They'll get it.

Grim Fandango

Interactive, movie-like, funny, with a plethora of locations and mysteries. How much more girly can a game get?

Others (recommended by visitors to our website)

Puzzle Bobble, YOU Don't Know Jack, Baku Baku Animal, Civilization, SimCity 3000, Sam & Max, Broken Sword, Little Big Adventure, Settlers 3, Caesar IA Fallout 2, Zork: Grande Inquisitor

2 SET UP YOUR ROOM

Rule number one: tidy it. Rule number two: tidy it again (and vacuum this time). No-one wants their first introduction to games to happen in the midst of a smeg pit. Clear the mugs away. Wipe all those shavings and toenails off your desk. Clear the cigarette butts, bits of paper, Blu-tack and Coke cans out of the way. Get a nice clean mouse — not one clogged up with three months' worth of dried skin. Clean all those manky half-moons of crap off the keys on your keyboard, too.

Use Stanislavski's Circles Of Attention technique to minimise her distraction. Turn off the main light in your room and erect a side light which creates a pool of illumination around your computer. This makes the computer screen the centre of focus and mutes any peripheral distractions. In short, she has nowhere to look if she gets bored.

3 SELL HER THE GAME

Talk to her in language she can understand. Remember: you are a computer games geek.

She is a proper person who cares about things like emotions and novels. Don't use jargon. Ramp up any 'interactive' elements (talking, speaking, puzzle-solving). Play down hyper-violent aspects (flying globules of gibbage, explosions with true particles, realistic death throes). Once she's over her initial reluctance, she'll be as bloodthirsty as anyone, but you have to get her there first.

Half-Life

You want to say: "Next-generation first-person shoot 'em up with strong narrative elements."

You should say: "011, it's an amazing unfolding story with you playing the central character."

Motocross Madness

You want to say: "The real-time shadows are unbelievable and on Voodoo2 it uses tri-linear mapping for a super-realistic fractal landscape."

You should say: "It's really realistic and it's set outside."

Worms Armageddon

You want to say: "It's like that tank game you used to play in school where you'd enter the trajectory and balance it against wind speed."

You should say: "It's like Tetris."

TOP TIP If you're ever in any doubt about how to describe a game, just say: "It's like Tetris." Whatever you do, though...

4 DON'T OVER-HYPE IT

"Oh God, this is the best 3D shoot 'em up ever. The graphics are unbelievable. It’s such a brilliant game. It rules." Do not say anything like this or you'll create preconceptions. A game will have to have reality-quality graphics and the most involving storyline ever known to grab her after that sales pitch. To the uninitiated, compared to reality, a good film or a great novel, games - all games - suck and blow (at the same time).

5 HAVE A GOOD MACHINE

Don't waste your time trying to convert her to the Dark Side if you're packing a five-year-old PC with a green screen and Sinclair BASIC. Who wants to see a glut of piss-poor pixels masquerading as people and locations? Get 3D acceleration. And get it now. Get RAM. Get a nice big monitor and some meaty speakers. If you're going to use a joystick, get a big, firm one she can grasp (yes, insert crap joke here).

Get a joypad if you can. Remember, computers were never designed for games. It may be more versatile in the long term, but a keyboard isn't as forgiving as a joypad (plus you get to see her 'girl-steering' the pad in mid air when taking corners in racing games). The mouse is a brilliant 3D navigation device, but not at first and certainly not for someone used to pushing icons around a flat screen.

6 ENSURE EVERYTHING IS RUNNING CORRECTLY

As your experiences in bed have undoubtedly told you, there is no bigger turn-off than a complete system failure. Blue screen General Protection Faults are the gaming equivalent of a hair-trigger ("Oh sorry, I just GPF'ed"). Create a load of shortcuts on the desktop and configure keys/joystick/sound/video in advance - you don't want to stop the action over and over to adjust CD music volumes or the 'crouch' button.

Don't decide to check your email. Don't receive any phone calls. Don't schedule a clan match. Don't invite your mates over for a pissing contest. Make sure it's just you and her.

7 DON'T TAKE OVER

This is Five Gold Rings of the plan - the most important piece of advice. Resist the temptation to dominate proceedings. As she tumbles - for the fortieth time - headlong into the lava, do not snatch the mouse out of her hand and show her how it's done. Encourage. Encourage. Encourage. Every fibre in your body will be screaming for you to take the mouse - don't. Take a deep breath and count to ten. Better still, go outside and scream into a pillow (perhaps two. Eiderdowns). The more you interrupt and cajole, the less she will become immersed in the game and the more you will fail.

8 REASSURE HER

Like any newbie, she needs constant reassurance.

She says: "I'm crap."

You say: "No, you're not just schooled in the conventions of this medium."

She says: "Oh, I can't do it"

You say: "It took me a while to get the hang of it, too."

She says: "What's the point? I don't get it. I'm not doing it anymore."

You say: "There's a really brilliant bit coming up. Just stick at it."

She says: "I'm bored."

You say: "There's a bit like Tetris coming up in a sec."

She says: "Where's the bit like Tetris?"

You say: "It's coming in a minute, okay?

9 DON'T PATRONISE HER

"Ooh, you're doing really well," you say, as she dies on the Half-Life hazard course 50 times in a row. She's not stupid. She knows the difference between succeeding and failing. If she has developed black-ball trouble or a psychological block, change the scenery. Try a different game or a different level. Surreptitiously turn God mode on. Anything.

10 MAKE IT PART OF AN EVENING

Don't just announce that tomorrow night, you'll be playing computer games together. Or lock her in and force her to sit in your chair for hours. Go out for some beers first, or get some wine in, or whatever your relaxation method of choice is. Don't push it. Imagine this is like date number two or three. You wouldn't slap it on a tray and say "Let's go," would you? Maybe you would, but pacing and timing and bit of restraint are going to get you further.

Also, get some snacks in. PC ZONE recommended snacks for girlfriend gaming: Tooty Fruities.

11 POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT

It is a psychological fact that people will do things they don't want to if there's a reward for them at the end. You may have to trade. Say you'll go to see a film with subtitles with her if she spends an hour playing games. Or that you'll cook something other than corned beef curry. Or that you will finally pull out those dirty socks that are stuck like cardboard behind the radiator. There has to be a trade. You don't get something for nothing. Hopefully, to use an unfortunate comparison, like Pavlov's dog, every time she hears the ping of the SimCity 3000 menu options or the splattery fine red mist of giblets hitting cobblestones in Quake, she'll start salivating.

And finally...

12 DON'T BE SELFISH

Now you have succeeded in getting her as addicted to games as you are, you must nurture her interest. This means sharing your machine.

Remember, girls always win at beat 'em ups. You can revise all the best, most shimmery combos and special moves but she, just by randomly banging the joypad, will triumph every time. If you lose, don't tell her it was "a crap game anyway". Be gracious.

Maybe you should invest in another PC and set up a network. That way, she can play, you can play, and you can settle washing-up arguments with the railgun. Ah, bliss...

Oh, and don't forget to delete that porn.

AND NOW, THE SCIENCE BIT...

Blokes don't like talking about their emotions and girls can't park. Crass sweeping generalisations or statistically proven sweeping generalisations?

A variety of behavioural differences have been reported for men and women, and researchers have zoned in on 'parallel parking' as an example of the differences between male and female thought processes. Men can often 'see' the space, in 3D, in their brains. Women can perceive the gap, but need to talk about it in order to understand its relationship with the length of their car. They ask themselves questions and come to a conclusion, which takes longer than the male approach, which Is just to pile in there and use the alarms of the vehicles in front and behind to judge distances.

This car-parking phenomenon also has an influence on the way women perceive computer games. For some women, the 3D space and layout of an area in a game like Quake is not immediately obvious to them. Tunnels which lead off from a room, or even the entire architecture of the room itself, may be 'invisible'. This is not, as your grandfather no doubt maintains, because "women are stupid" but simply because they have a tendency to perceive 'negative space', the gaps between objects rather than the objects themselves.

The widely-held belief that women only like adventure games can be explained by recent studies, which found that women spend 43 minutes a day making personal calls and men only 22. Women speak, on average 9,000 words a day, while men utter a mere 2,000. Generally speaking, women communicate more and enjoy the act of talking and interacting more than men.

Anyway, before you start moaning about crap girl gamers or bad parking arguments, remember this: until six weeks into your mother's pregnancy, you were a girl. Then your defective X chromosome kicked in. Everything went haywire and for some reason your nipples weren't absorbed. Your clitoris, however, remained and grew and grew into your penis. Just remember that.

PUT TO THE TEST

We put PC ZONE's 12-Part System for getting your girlfriend into games to the test. We took a bunch of girls, various games, applied the system and tried to convert them to the Dark Side. Here's what happened...

NAME: Paula

AGE: 27

JOB: Make-up artist

STANCE ON COMPUTER GAMES BEFORE: "Boring waste of time. A typically mindless male pursuit."

STANCE AFTER: "No different. The kind of thing you do in the absence of any other stimulation or activity. When you're trapped in the house and there's no alternative. It makes me want to go and read a book."

VERDICT: Thoroughly resisted conversion to the Dark Side.

NAME: Vanessa

AGE: 22

JOB: Model

STANCE ON COMPUTER GAMES BEFORE: "I've only played PlayStation games before. I like martial arts games."

STANCE ON COMPUTER GAMES AFTER: "I really enjoyed them, but I still prefer games that get my adrenalin going."

VERDICT: Converted.

NAME: Mandy

AGE: 27

JOB: Hairdresser

STANCE BEFORE: "I've played puzzley games like Tetris. I get quite addicted, but how blokes can play them for hours or weeks strikes me as strange."

STANCE AFTER: "It's tempting once I get started."

VERDICT: Not much change

NAME: Emma

AGE: 24

JOB: Archaeologist

STANCE BEFORE: "They're all full of blood and violence. For boys who haven't grown up. I like building games like SimCity."

STANCE AFTER: "A bit disappointed you can't shoot people's legs off, but yeah, good fun."

VERDICT: Success.

NAME: Helen

AGE: 28

JOB: Stockbroker

STANCE BEFORE: "They are quite good, but far too complicated. A solitary, masturbation-type thing."

STANCE AFTER: "Yeah, good. I like them. Although I don't think I'm going to develop a habit or anything."

VERDICT: Our job here is done.

Quake ll

PAULA: "It's quite dismal. I don't have any sense of where I am. I'm just running around mindlessly. (Picks up some health 'biscuits.') Have those things disappeared because I picked them up? I don't know where I am. Am I trapped underground? Don't know where I've come from, don't know how to get out (she spends minutes shooting wall fillings). How do I know that's a door? I don't really understand the rewards. I get mild satisfaction from shooting someone. And blowing their head off."

Motocross Madness

PAULA: "I like the outside setting and the freedom. It's exhilarating to move over nice bumpy terrain. It doesn't look that realistic".

VANESSA: "I love this. It's more me. I love racing. The graphics aren't that amazing. I do like the crashes, though. It's wicked. I could play this for hours. It's brilliant. Wheeeeee (performs enormous, deadly cartwheel which should splatter drivers against the rockface like a plum). There's so much open space all over the place. I even like falling off."

MANDY: "It's a bit samey. What are you supposed to do? I like having race-oriented goals. I wouldn't buy it. It's got really weird, illogical controls."

EMMA: "Don't think much of the ground. How are you supposed to know where you're going? I've never been on a bike before... Oooh! I'm doing a wheelie! (The girls clap.) Why is it so sunny? It wouldn't be sunny. It'd be all muddy, like on KickStart, with people standing around who you could hit."

Pacman

PAULA: "Immediately challenging, but there's a really depressing quality about it. The `so what' factor is very strong. The graphics are shit - just lines and dots on a bit of paper. Don't care whether I win or lose. (Indignant) How old is this game?"

Half-Life

PAULA: "Much more exciting than Quake II. More problem solving - more appealing in that sense. The tension is greater and there's more suspense. The usual dismal, claustrophobic setting. It makes me feel anxious and tense. Ah! Ah! (Genuinely screams loudly when she sees a zombie.) That's horrible! I get bored when I go round and round in circles. It makes you aware of how mindless it is. It's quite satisfying - oh (plummets 10,000 feet to her doom) but it's quite satisfying to kill a bizarre monster."

VANESSA: "Feels more real than on the PlayStation. It's quite exciting - all these holes to jump through. It's exciting to use all these fingers. I hate it when I lose. I love guns. I like holding the gun. I thought I just came up the ladder. Why should I go down again? I wish something more exciting would happen. This is boring."

MANDY: "This is good. I like this. I like the fact that you're making progress. I'm excited. I like the way his arm moves (she ducks to avoid low pipes on screen). Quite impressive, but I couldn't play it for hours."

Grim Fandango

HELEN: "Superb. I like things like this. I like shooting things, it leads you into the scenario. You have to find something, secret things (she is getting visibly excited). There's a mystery. That gave me a rush of pleasure (she finds the way out of the first room). That looked like it should do something. I want to go back and see."

EMMA: "it's the kind of game where you'd suddenly realise it was 2am and you had to get up for work in the morning. I like the music that's on in the background."

MANDY: "There's so much more to see - it's a lot more interesting to look at. I like the detail. You're not just doing the same thing over and over again. It's good because this isn't the kind of game where my boyfriend could phone me up to brag about his high score. Yeah, he does that"

[sharpieismywarpaint]

Tips for kids new to scene

new kidz on da scene >:]

You’re aura shuld B effervescent and U should b having a greattime.. everdai wen I log in i have teh time of my life i simpleh loooves teh scene lifestyle c: 

:P think about the plur lyfestyle PEACE LOVE UNITY RESPECT: THE RAVER’S CODE (on plur day)(everyday) and keep in it your mind and get WiLD and get committed to PEACE LOVE UNITY RESPECT: THE RAVER’S CODE (on plur day )(everyday)

but dats just wut i’s do.. XD, um if U want 2 B  “seen” as ‘scene” Like i guess howda B a scene kid then i also hav sum trix up my sleeve…

ware anything neon i hav neon green fishnet gloves and U can get them by throwing a couple of sents at any old partycity store. & also haloween pop up shops wen the time is ripe, go to their “80s” or ‘partay” sections. try crazy color combinations 4 teh sake of it.honestleh a lot of scene is doing thnigs 4 the sake of it-skinny jeans -tonz of eyeliner -tonzz of accessories.. at lest youre own weight in little buttons and keychainz and bows in your hair-etc.Buy hair extensions in crazy colors and draw coontails & leopard print paturns on dem witha black fattip sharpeh..i have dis in green& pink. it shuld work out until i grow sum out myself.  & teh next time U get your hair cut, dont get just a regular cut, but ask for choppy layers. They R beasty for scene hair, even it looks kinda normal it will B e-z 2 shift around for make-do bangs & stuffs

flip your hiptop sidekick (dis is teh phone i had years ago) as loudleh as U can at all tiems possibulz.

SO SO much kandi & necklaces. it dosent evan matter if you R waring like a preppy hollisturr camisol and capri shorts U can make up 2 it in little beads on a string. try threading pony beads thru youre shoelaces... Maybeh evan maek a kandipatterns.com account…. especially chek out the pictures area ware othr peplz show off they’re outfits >_o :P

Oh &… 

it is nevar “Cringe’ to live yuo’re truth. This is the word.

Rawrrr.. peace & Love, Bob .

[welcome-the-magick]

Hello everyone!

Eek!!! The Witches Moon February 2018 Unboxing master post💖💖

First items up: Eucalyptus Leaf, Lady Meadow Herb, Chamomile Herb, small Shasta Sage, Healing Flight Spell Candle, and a FAT @$$ Blue Kyanite chunk!! Not pictured because I was a dipshit and started putting stuff away: Enliven Incense [Eucalyptus scented]. Eucalyptus Leaf: From TWM, “The leaves from the Eucalyptus plant have been long used in healing spells and sachets. Stuff a poppet with Eucalyptus or carry with you to maintain vibrant health. To heal others, ting Eucalyptus around a green candle and burn through, visualizing the person becoming completely healthy and renewed. The leaf of the Eucalyptus is also great to burn in an offering bowl to promote healing energies during ritual.” Lady Meadow Herb: From TWM, “‘Lady Meadow’ or meadowseet has proven to be a beautifully happy herb. The scent of the meadowseet cheers the heart and brings peace into your space. Commonly used in love spells, meadowseet is a great attractor of happiness and love. Add Lady Meadow to your ritual to bring about the energies of healing and love so that your intentions may maintain purity.” Chamomile: Chamomile is GREAT to use when you aren’t feeling the best and you think you might throw up. It’s my go-to morning sickness tea, my morning sickness has never been from pregnancy. From TWM, “When working to combat negative energy, curses, or spells, Chamomile is out go to herb. Sprinkle Chamomile around yu our house to remove curses and spells that have been casted against you. Steep in tea and bee to relax and calm the nerves. Chamomile is a great assister during sleep to maintain healthy dreams and relaxation throughout the night.” Shasta Sage: From TWM, “From the Sacred Mount Shasta in Northern California, Shasta Sage is usually found in smaller bundles as it lasts for a long time. Shasta Sage is great healing sage and is known for bringing healing energies as well as spiritual strength. Shasta Sage is also known to enhance intuition and attract abundance while yu ou work to transform the energies in your aura and around your sacred space. Burn Shasta Sage before and after altar ritual to prepare and attract healing energies into your life.” Healing Flight Candle: Created to enhance the healing process of the receivers life and assisting in their renewal process. Created with a blend of the Healing Magickal Oil from their personal cabinet of witchery, Rosemary, and Eucalyptic essential oils.

Omg the Blue Kyanite. Let’s just look at this beauty again 😍 it’s so big, the weight was unexpected looking at the bag it came in alone. Gem Quality Blue Kyanite: From TWM, “One of the most powerful of the Throat Chakra stones, Blue Kyanite is a favorite for creating a stronger, more potent aura. Known for working with the Throat Chakra, it’s fantastic at helping to speak ones truth with clarity and conviction. This makes Blue Kyanite a valuable tool while reciting spells and intentions and can rollover to day to day life and interaction. Blue Kyanite is also a great 'connector’ enabling your ability to negotiate and combine your energies with others. When working to generate a more powerful aura, allow Blue Kyanite to align chakras and auric fields making you glow with confidence and power. When meditating, allow Blue Kyanite to transfer a tranquilizing energy throughout the body so that you may relax and state your intentions with a calm, unwavering mind.”

For Ostara, this box has also included an adorable Hare pendant! From TWM: “In the days of old, the hare was thought of as being involved in the creation of the world by the Algonquin Tribe and the Ancient Egyptians. We use the hare as a symbol of Vitality, Virtrue, and Ambition. The hare represents quick thinking, swiftness, an d a symbol of diligence.”

Next goodies!! A gorgeous silver Tripple Goddess chalice, Sanitatem Magickal Oil, Goddess Aegle Sacred Salt, and my personal Oracle reading. The Oracle card is from the Wild Kaun Yin oracle by Toni Alana Fairchild. Not pictured, the Enliven Incense: Eucalyptus scented.

Sanitatem Magickal Oil: From TWM, “Healing, or the Latin form 'Sanitatem’, has been a powerful word among our practices working to mend spiritual wounds. Has been created with the intent of maximizing the healing throughout the aspects of your life. We recommend anointing candles as well as jewelry and skin, specifically the Chakras that need healing. We have enchanted this oil with Rosemary, Eucalyptus, Juniper, and Sandalwood essential oils and have included the Rosemary herb as well. Included also is a Lemurian Quartz, said to personify oneness into your aura. We have also included a special mixture of our Healing Light Magickal Oil from our Personal Cabinet of Witchery.”

Goddess Aegle Sacred Salt: From TWM, “Aegle, the goddess of radiant good health, was also known for her brightness and splendor. We have created this salt to permeate these characteristics. We have enchanted this sacred salt with Rosemary and Sandalwood essential oils, as well as Chammomile, Blue Cornflower, and Lavender herb. We have also included a special mixture of our Golden Aura Magickal Oil from our Personal Cabinet of Witchery.”

Finally to the chalice💖💖 this will become a chalice specifically for my Selene altar. It’s shiny like her💖 From TWM, “One of the four elemental tools of ritual, the Chalice or 'Calix’ has been used for hundreds of years as a powerful sacred tool. Representing water and most importantly, the Womb of the Goddess, the Chalice assists us in receiving spiritual energy, giving offerings, and connecting with those around us and with the divine. The base of the Chalice represents the material world and monetary acquisition through daily life. The stem of the Chalice represents the connection between self and spirit and our journey to obtain this beautiful connection. The rim and opening of the Chalice represents the receiving of diving energy. We make sacred the practice of passing the Chalice to one another during ritual to share this energy and strengthen our bonds if unity and connection. Used to represent the element Water, the power of the element overtakes the empty recesseswithin our soul and fill them with cleansing, healing, and psychic powers. During your practice, we recommend using your Chalice in a multiple of ways. We have also used our chalice as a vessel of salt water so that you may cleanse and purify.”

Last item, the Ostara book of shadows artwork. Artwork done by Adrienne Alden. 🌛🌝🌜 And here is my Unboxing video💖 https://youtu.be/25hwiVfJ-_o

[dancing-with-dichotomies]

uuuuuh soooo I finally bought BNHA season 4 and watched the last of the episodes last night... I was hoping it would inspire me to get back into at least a couple of my old BNHA fics but UUUH...

Well I mean I liked how the season started out with a strong “SAVE LIL GIRLS FROM CREEPS PREYING ON THEM!” message w Eri and the Plague Doctor Dude or whatever his name was before he became Handless Fran but anyways uuuUHHHH whAT exactly happened to that message when this fuckin “Gentle Criminal” bastard shows up, like I was down for this cute festival like damn wish they’d focused more on that but no we had to UUUUGH through this pedobastard shit with this lil girl that powers this dude up with her “LURVE” that completely negates everything from the first half and Midoriya is all like “WE’RE SO ALIKE” BABY BOY GREEN SWEET BEAN NOOO DON’T TALK ABOUT YOURSELF THAT WAY YOU ARE SO NOT LIKE THAT LOSER, THAT DUDE IS ON LIKE TWO DOZEN MORE KINDS OF LOSER PILLS THAN YOU BABE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW >_O;;

Starting to wondering about the creator/team behind BNHA too... Clearly the morals of at least one or more than a few of the ppl working on this shit are not as Plus Ultra as they/we think they are... 9_9;;;

[lizard-in-the-sky]

Green _o_ Blush \o_ Fuchsia _o/ Razzmatazz \o/ Tangerine /o\

GREEN = I think you’re cute.

BLUSH = Seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better.

FUCHSIA = Your blog content is gold

RAZZMATAZZ = I would share my favorite food with you

TANGERINE = I love your aesthetic

Oooh merci, la même pour toi!! \o/ Pleins de hugs et de love huhu (et de gouters!!!!)

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