#I thought tonight would be my relaxing time after a weekend full of homework. Wrong. I am a Fool.

[earl-grey-crow]

I feel like alice might've wanted to kick the pond in the shins but how do you kick an eldritch pond in the shins

[ijustwant2write]

Subtle-Remus Lupin x Professor!Reader

(GIF credit to @shurley​)

Requested by anonymous: ‘hello! can i request professor remus lupin x professor reader where they are married but try to keep it in secret just to avoid gossip but eventually students get suspicious because of their closeness? thank you, love your work💕’

Characters: Remus Lupin X Professor!Reader, Severus Snape x Reader (platonic), Minerva Mcgonagall x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name 

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Fluff, gossiping, hiding relationship/feelings

                                      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Please make sure your homework is completed and handed in to me at the beginning of tomorrows lesson. You’ve had a week to complete it, so I expect full pile on my desk.” I shouted over the hustle of the students packing away their things.

I hated having the last lesson of the day. No one was focused, they were tired from their other classes, and all they could think about was getting to the Great Hall for dinner; although I was exactly the same, I couldn’t wait for a good meal. Now alone, I started to tidy up my classroom, yawning when I realised how tired I was as well. Luckily, it was the end of the week, and this weekend I was chaperoning the students to Hogsmeade, meaning I could have some retail therapy. I heard the door open, thinking it was a student who had forgotten something, but I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my husband waltz in.

“Oh, hello you.” I smiled as I approached him.

“Hello you.” he leaned down to kiss me before glancing around the room.“Need any help before dinner?”

“No, not tonight. I’ve just got to put a few things away in my desk.”

I went back to tidying, making sure I wasn’t coming back to a mess after the weekend, and that everything was in its right place.

He perched on a student desk.“Are you still going to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

“Of course. I can’t wait.”

“Did you want to...did you want to go for a drink?”

“I don’t think we should be drinking whilst looking after the students Remus.”

“We won’t have anything alcoholic. Perhaps even a meal?”

“What if someone sees us?”

“How many students have we seen go into a restaurant on any trip, hm? And if they do, it’s a meal between friends!”

“You know, I don’t think that whole story about us being old friends worked.”

He suddenly looked panicked.“Why? Have the children been saying anything?”

“No. I can just see it in their faces.”

“You’re overthinking this. It’ll be fine. Let me treat you.” a charming smile spread across his face.

I rolled my eyes, giving in.“Alright. But I’ve got to pop round some of the shops first.”

He groaned.“So we’ll have time for a starter then?”

I scoffed a laugh at him, grabbing a nearby scroll to hit him with.“I might be going shopping for you, did you ever think of that? I am a very loving wife after all.”

He chuckled, shielding himself.“Alright, alright!”

“Plus, and as much as it pains me to say this, we’ll be apart for a while. That means students won’t see us together.”

“Unfortunately, you’re right. We haven’t been too careful as of late.”

“Saying that, should we head to dinner?”

I walked out of the classroom first, checking the corridors, and like always at this time, they were empty. We freely walked towards the Great Hall, daringly holding hands whilst we were still far away. But as it neared, we sadly looked at each other, having to let go. It broke my heart that we had to hide our marriage, we couldn’t even wear our wedding rings for fear of being questioned, and accidentally revealing a detail that was too specific towards each other. 

“You two might want to be more careful if you don’t want your secret out.” the monotone voice of Severus said behind us. How was he always so quiet?

Remus sighed.“Well, do you see any students?”

“I was able to sneak up on you,” we were at the entrance of the Great Hall now,“and with all this chatter amongst the students, I would take extra precaution. The gossip is starting to disrupt my lessons.”

He walked away from us, and we glanced at each other. Severus was horribly truthful about these kind of things. I was right. The students had their suspicions. 

“Remus, what are we going to do?”

We began walking towards the head table.“Relax, we’ll draw more attention to ourselves otherwise. Look, just forget about what he said. I’m sure it’s a group of first years thinking they’ve discovered something and have irritated him.”

Although he was attempting to comfort me, the dreadful feeling of all the students eyes on me was making me feel sick. It wasn’t that I was ashamed to be with Remus, I loved him with my whole heart, I couldn’t wait to be with him forever. When we both got a job at Hogwarts, we had had a long discussion beforehand. Obviously we were excited to have new jobs, until I thought back to a friend who also worked with her partner. They were open with it, and unfortunately, the students would gossip, make up rude stories and interfere, ask too many questions to get into their personal life. It was awful for them. It sounds like a bunch of children ‘bullying’ professors wouldn’t effect them, you should be able to handle children as a professor; but it really took a tole on them.

"Chin up dear," Minerva said as everyone started eating,"I'm sure this will all pass by."

"You might be right. But I can't help thinking...maybe everyone knows." I stated down at my plate.

"Would that really be so bad?"

"I just don't want them talking about us. I've seen it happen to my friends, and I know a lot of married couples aren't work together because of it."

"Perhaps you two will be different."

I sighed."How many times has someone said that?"

"But, don't they see you leaving the castle together?"

"We said that we live near each other so we share lifts to work. It was the only thing we could come up with."

There was empathy on her face."It will all be fine (Y/N), just you wait and see."

The next day had arrived, meaning it was time to chaperone the students to Hogsmeade. When we returned home last night, I had dropped the subject, knowing Remus was much calmer about all of this than I was. I would only cause a fuss, which would perhaps lead to a small argument between us; and I didn't want the tension there tomorrow, if anything came out of this trip, I wanted to enjoy my time with Remus.

"Are you sure I cannot accompany you on the way there?" Remus had asked as the children's permission slips were approved.

I nodded."I just think it's best to split up for a few hours, then we'll meet up at that restaurant, yeah?" 

"Alright, see you later." 

In any other circumstance, we would have shared a small kiss before leaving one another, but everyone was here. A small smile graced our lips as he walked away, though mine disappeared as soon as he turned around. Sighing to myself, I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to keep warm as my group was assigned to me. 

The students practically ran off as soon as we got there, leaving me alone to wander. Remus was no where to be seen, but we had a set time to meet up. For now, it was aimless wandering.

I couldn't stop checking my watch throughout the day. I was too excited to see my husband, have a dinner out together. Teaching was hard, it took up so much time. Although in the evenings Remus and I were together, we weren't actually together. We weren't present because we would probably be marking papers. And having to constantly remember to hide our love at work was tiring and infuriating. Passing some students in shops, I politely smiled, maybe asked if they were having a good day or making sure they stayed in line, before it was finally time to meet my husband. 

There was much more of a spring in my step as I made my way to the designated restaurant. Luckily the number of students got smaller as I strayed away from the main hustle and bustle of Hogsmeade, though they should be minding their own business anyway (that would have avoided this whole mess in the first place). I almost missed the place because it was so small. It was made out of old, dark brick, with a narrow but long window, made of old wooden panes. The door was also small, and I smiled at the thought of Remus ducking through it. 

It felt more like a cafe than a restaurant. Like the window, it was long and narrow, tables either side of the room, because if there were tables lining down the middle, no one would be able to move. Remus caught my attention by standing up from our table. 

"You look beautiful." he greeted, kissing me. 

I scoffed as I sat."You knew what I was wearing, we do live together."

"Doesn't mean you're not beautiful." 

I bashfully smiled."You're still able to make me blush after all these years."

"Good, I must be doing something right then."

The lunch together reminded me of old times. It was easy to forget about the stress that had been piled on top of our usual schedule in that moment. We laughed, started reminiscing on our lives when we met each other, it was as if we were catching up after not seeing each other for a long time. When we weren't eating, one of our hands was holding onto each other. I knew I had to cherish every moment, especially since it went by far too quickly. 

We found ourselves putting on our coats and scarves, taking a few seconds to just gaze at each other. Neither of us wanted to leave. We felt safe here, hidden away from any prying students. Our marriage shouldn't have been hidden, we loved each other, it was supposed to be shown. 

"Ready?" he asked. 

"Ready."

We quickly kissed each other before making our way to the door. Thanking a waitress as we passed by, I was about to open the door when something in the window caught my eye. My heart dropped as I spotted three children poking their heads up, watching us until they realised they had been caught. 

"Remus!" I snapped."We've been spotted."

He had his usual calm tone."We're just two friendly colleagues getting lunch, there's nothing wrong in that." 

"We don't know how long they've been there. What if they saw us kissing?!" 

"Very friendly colleagues?" 

I huffed as I opened the door, trying to see if the kids were still there. They had started running off in the distance, headed in the direction of our meeting point. We had to head back now, it was the end of the trip, and I was expecting a lot of hushed whispers as we arrived. 

"Professor (Y/L/N)?" a fourth year student approached me as we rounded up our groups for counting. 

Here we go. 

"Yes?" 

She seemed nervous, glancing back at her friends."Um...just so you know, we all think you and Professor Lupin make a really cute couple. Like, you two are probably the coolest professors we have."

I was shocked by her words."O-Oh. Thank you...that's a very nice thing to say." 

She just smiled before leaving to join her friends again. There had been no point lying to her, it was obvious to everyone. But that small opinion meant a lot to me. Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing to put our marriage on display.

" You see?" Remus approached me."It's not as bad as you thought."

"No, I guess not. I just...I didn't want anything to effect us."

"You're my wife. I love you with all my being. A few gossiping children wouldn't change any of that."

He leaned in to kiss me again, but I giggled as I stopped him.

"What?"

"We may let them know about our marriage, but PDA from staff is still frowned upon." 

"Do you know how hard it is to resist you?" 

"Guess we'll have to make up for it when we're home."

[finding-hope-strength-courage]

My Life With Anxiety #1 - 05/01/2021

*Warning Long Post!

Tonight I thought I’d write a post about my experience with anxiety during my life. This is obviously only my experience and anxiety is different for all who suffer with it.

It’s difficult to say when I began suffering with anxiety because I probably didn’t even know what it was or recognise the feelings I was having were caused by anxiety. As a young child - pre secondary school I don’t remember worrying particularly day to day but I think there were some signs if I was to try and really dig deep.

Something I do recall from being a young child was I did develop a fear of people dying from a young age after losing my mum. I’m unsure of my exact age but it would have been between the ages of 6-11 because my Granny sadly died shortly after my 11th birthday. I remember during the night if I woke and needed to go to the toilet on my way back I would stop for a few seconds and make sure I could hear my Granny breathing in her bed. I mean it sounds bizarre in my head now because I’m not actually sure what prompted this behaviour but I guess I felt I needed to check she was okay before I went back sleep - I never told her I did this. I guess you could say this is a form of anxiety - I was worried about something happening to her and clearly felt some responsibility for making sure she was okay.

Of course these behaviours don’t appear all that strange given my early life experiences. My experiences told me that people I love died and so I clearly knew this could happen. As I got older I’d say I maybe became more concerns with friendships and hated falling out with people or upsetting them. This was definitely true during secondary school and actually has never really changed as still to this day I worry far too much in case I’ve said something wrong or upset anyone! When there were friendship dilemmas between people I hated feeling like I needed to take a side (if it wasn’t me that was part of the fall out of course). I just wanted to please everyone and stay friends. This was difficult and so often I’d just remove myself from the situation and spend time alone - I’d sit somewhere alone and listen to music or go to the school library and do homework instead. This was better than conflict for me.

I did develop some anxiety around exams during school but this only really became noticable at the end of Year 10 I’d say. I think because there was extra pressure of GCSE coursework too it just got on top of me. I usually managed to get through the exams and actually would do better than I thought I had anyway! I always came out of any exam saying I’d done rubbish or probably failed, even if I thought I may have done okay (which wasn’t often). It was easier to tell myself I hadn’t done well because then if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be as disappointed. I got through my GCSEs and A Levels at school and did well for me, I mean I was never a straight A student but I put all my effort into revising and working hard. So I did well for me and got the grades I needed. I always found it frustrating that there were people who didn’t appear to work that hard but would still do so well. If I hadn’t have worked as hard as I did I’d have failed most subjects.

It’s difficult to talk about my anxiety without mentioned my OCD but I do want to write about this in a separate post because obviously it’s an anxiety disorder but I feel like I have general anxiety and OCD so they manifest in different ways and different times in my life. I first noticed OCD tendencies when I went to University. I became obsessed with worrying about leaving the light on in my room or making sure I’d locked the door. I would film myself turning out the lights and locking the door when I went home for the weekend so I could check if I was worried. I also was so worried about people leaving the hob on in the shared kitchen that when I knew they’d all gone out or to their rooms I’d go in and check. I’ll probably write about my struggles with OCD another time but feel it makes sense to mention it here because during that year at University that my Dad sadly and suddenly died.

I would say my Dad’s death was probably the event in my life that really set my anxiety off because although it was clearly there beforehand in various ways and the emergence of some OCD traits too, it was almost still under the surface and fairly manageable I’d say. After my Dad’s death I just felt anxious full stop, I think the suddenness of it all was just so scary and then the emptiness that he’d just gone. I’d always known people to get ill and die but because it just happened with no warning it just made realise that anything can happen in life. Obviously it taught me some good lessons too like how short life is and to make the most of every day etc and I do try to always do that regardless of my own struggles.

The months that followed my Dad’s death are difficult to remember that clearly now but I remember just feeling a bit lost and scared. It’s hard to explain now as it’s been nearly 10 years but I was just so worried. As the years went by I became more anxious of most things in life to be honest, but it didn’t actually stop me doing them. As in I managed to keep living and doing the things I enjoyed but just feeling anxious about them too. I studied for my degree with The Open University in the 3 years that followed my Dad’s death and this was brilliant for me. I had a hard time adjusting to University and had already decided to leave before my Dad died. Doing my degree from home worked perfectly for me, I didn’t need help being motivated to study and do the work as I have always loved learning so almost enjoyed it more reading textbooks and writing assignments. I guess I was in control of my studies abs study schedule. I realise many would find this way of studying difficult but it worked for me.

I was still anxious during these years. Driving became an issue I was always worried about doing something wrong and OCD quickly became a big issue with this (I will write about this another time). It’s difficult to remember exactly how things were back then as it’s been a few years but I know I was anxious and just scared I think of what might happen. Almost on edge the whole time ready just in case something went wrong in life.

I did take medication for my anxiety for nearly 5 years I think. It took me a long time to actually go to the doctors and do this but I did. It’s difficult to say whether it helped or not, I think it did in someways but not others. The worries were still there it didn’t fix my mind but I guess it helped it become more manageable at times. For me personally I wouldn’t go on medication again as I don’t feel it did enough for me but I know it’s different for everyone and for some people it helps so much. I decided to come off it before my Husband and I started trying for a baby. I did get withdrawal symptoms when I came off it, not in terms of my mental health feeling worse but more I felt physically not well. It was hard to actually say how I felt , I described it as kind of dizzy / wobbly and my head felt funny but not an actual headache. I was tired too but just didn’t feel great. Again it’s different for everyone but for me coming off them was tough because I absolutely hate feeling ill.

Since then my anxiety I would say has been okay in terms of I feel positive about it and although it’s never actually gone away I feel I’ve copied fairly well. Being pregnant was tough because I worried about every little thing but thankfully all was fine and I couldn’t be more grateful to have our little girl, she changed my life in the best way. I have a fear of hosptials in general, which I think stems from visiting my mum as a young child on ICU, so going into hospital to give birth was so scary even before it started! Becoming a new mum was obviously a massive learning curve as it is for anyone and I was worried about everything and probably still am!

I felt quite proud of myself (which is rare) for how I managed the first months becoming a mum but obviously then with the news of Coronavirus it definitely just made me so anxious. I was worried about it before most people even realised it was happening I think! I was premature in my fears compared to most I guess. I remember the first cases in the UK even though it was like less than 10 at that point!

I think for me having Anxiety, becoming a New Mum and then The Pandemic was obviously a recipe for me to become a bit overwhelmed with my worries. I don’t think I’ve really relaxed in nearly a year now since I first started hearing about the virus on the news. Despite this I actually think for me I’ve coped pretty well, unfortunately my OCD now is more about germs and washing my hands far too much whereas originally it started with checking things but I guess it’s my way of feeling like I’m doing what I can to keep me and my family safe. Being the kind of person I am I’ve made sure to follow the rules which I believe are incredibly important as I do believe we all need to do our bit and I get anxious knowing and seeing others breaking them but I know that’s life and people do have different views on things.

I’ve had to stop watching and reading the news at times because that is the worst thing for my anxiety. Seeing pictures of hosptials and reading figures terrifies me and also breaks my heart too. I do look sometimes when I feel able to without becoming overwhelmed by it. I do just find it so scary. I know other people who maybe don’t usually have anxiety feel just as scared by it all so I guess my feeling on this are justified. It’s a Global Pandemic I guess it’s understandable to be worried about it all.

I think the difference for me is that it’ll take me time to adjust back to how things were before. I’ve almost been grateful for the lockdowns and restrictions in some ways because then I feel I can follow them and keep safer but I guess then you get used to that and feel secure in your own bubble and way of doing things. When restrictions were lifted over the summer and into autumn we did do some things like some trips out to places for our little girl which was so lovely and seeing some family and friends too. Mostly outdoors because that’s where I’ve felt more comfortable but we did meet indoors with some people on a few occasions (when it was permitted) after a bit of pressure and feeling judged for still being worried and wanting to be more careful (or they would have seen it as over cautious). Some hurtful comments were made about my mental health which I won’t go into now but it’s affected me and I guess I’ve been seeing myself as not doing well enough or needing to be “fixed” since then - despite actually thinking I’ve copied pretty well with it all! It’s complicated and I won’t go into it now but the funny thing is when I feel judged it actually makes my anxiety worse for some reason? Like I then feel I need to work harder to not be anxious which makes it stronger.

I’m going to stop now but this is just a bit about my anxiety, there’s a lot more to it than just what’s written here. I know there are people out there who struggle more than I do and I do hope they have people to support and listen to them. For me I would love to be more open about it (I do have some people who I can be which I’m so grateful for) but once I feel judged for being a bit different I guess I then feel like I have to change who I am and hide part of myself if that makes sense. Then I feel awkward because I’m overly aware of my behaviour and what I say in case I come across anxious or they say something more about it.

I hope mental health and anxiety becomes better understood and less judged in the future. I know we’ve made a lot of progress on this since I was younger but I do think there’s still stigma out there and judgement and the view that it can just be fixed. I believe I will always have anxiety or be an anxious person but I hope to keep learning how to cope with it better and that I find ways so that it doesn’t limit me in life - that doesn’t mean it just disappears though.

Just some of my thoughts on the topic, probably a lot of waffle but I enjoy making sense of the thoughts in mind, goodnight world and stay safe.

** I should have mentioned that I have had counselling a few times over the years and I’ve always found this incredibly helpful and for me it’s offered a lot of support and allowed me to explore my feelings and life in more depth and understand and accept myself more.

[sailorchiron]

Day 2 of Michael Guerin Week

It’s day 2: Distance (with a side of space cowboy)!  Here’s more college AU fluff.

Read on Ao3

Tongue Tied

Alex was across the room.

Just, like, 20 feet away.

But the distance felt like 20 miles.

Because Alex hadn’t looked at him since he walked in.

I fucked up, Michael thought to himself, and not for the first time today.  He wasn’t entirely sure how he’d fucked up, but it was clear that he’d fucked up, because Alex had texted him that he was going out with Maria while he was in class and promptly stopped answering his phone.  He’d texted and called Alex, he’d texted and called Maria, and finally he’d texted Maria’s roommate Zoey and begged to find out where they were so he could fix whatever he’d fucked up.  She’d taken pity on him and told him they were at Cielo but no one else had gone with them to the bar.  He’d promised her coffee before driving to the dive that was popular with the performing arts department at UNM.  

And now he was at the bar, beer in hand, but not drinking it, watching Alex and Maria sit in a booth with drinks in front of them.  It was too dark to see Alex’s face, but Michael was sure he had to be upset about something or he would have answered his texts.  Part of him was angry; what right did Alex have to jerk him around like this when he had no idea what he’d even done?!  But most of him was just confused and sad.  He and Alex trusted each other on a deep level, and very rarely did Alex think there was something he couldn’t talk to Michael about, even about Michael himself.  They’d been together for three years, and they fought occasionally just like any other couple, but Alex had never announced he was going out and just not responded to his phone for the entire evening.  

Michael wanted to cross the room.  He wanted to slide into the booth beside his boyfriend, kiss his neck, and tell him he loved him.  Figure out what he’d done wrong.  Apologize.  Tell Alex he was a dick for dealing with it this way tomorrow.  

Eventually the distance between them started to ache, to become a physical pain that Michael just couldn’t take anymore.  He skirted the edge of the crowd, approaching the table from behind Alex, telling himself that being a defensive, combative asshole was not the right answer tonight, no matter what.  He caught Maria’s eyes when she looked up, and saw the surprise on her face.  By the time he reached the end of the table, Alex knew he was there.

“Hey Guerin,” Maria greeted, subdued but not cold.  Okay, I didn’t fuck up that bad.

He didn’t answer, he was looking at Alex, who looked so...lost.  He’d planned to ask what was wrong, what he’d done, what had happened, but that look...he just slid in beside him and pulled him into his arms.  Alex didn’t resist at all, just pressed his face against his neck held onto him.  Okay, he’s not mad anymore.  That’s good.  He noticed when Maria excused herself to the bathroom and nodded absently.

“Alex, what did I do?”

Alex pulled back.  “You didn’t do anything.”  

Michael searched his face.  “Are you mad at me about something?”

“No.”  Alex shook his head.  “I freaked myself out and needed a little distance to think.”

“Okay…”  Michael was actually more scared now.  “Alex, what’s wrong?”  He watched Alex close his eyes, probably so he didn’t cry.  “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I saw your application for the graduate program at New Mexico Tech.  I know you’ll get in.”

“I haven’t submitted it yet.”  Michael was so confused.  “I haven’t even filled it out yet.  I wanted to talk to you about it first.”

Alex’s eyes widened, and he hiccupped out a little laugh.  “Maria was right.”

“What, were you afraid that I’d apply and get in and spring it on you?”  Alex looked guilty.  “Alex, you know I wouldn’t do that.  I wouldn’t just leave you--”

“No, that’s the thing,” Alex interrupted.  “I know you wouldn’t leave me.  That’s the problem.  You won’t leave me, even if you should.  I’m selfish and want us to go to the same place after graduation because I don’t want to be away from you.  But I know if I told you I had a job offer, you’d give up your doctorate in a heartbeat.  The last thing I want is a long-distance relationship, but I don’t want you to suffer because of me.”  He shook his head.  “At first I was afraid you were going to apply, get in and just spring it on me, but as soon as I realized you’d never do that, all of the other thoughts snowballed.”

Michael just pulled him close, holding Alex tightly.  “Baby, we’ll figure it out together.  God, don’t do this to yourself.”  He pulled back enough to kiss his forehead.  “I’ve been turning myself inside out trying to figure out how I pissed you off.”

Alex scrunched his face up.  “Oh, fuck, Michael, I’m sorry.  Of course you’d think that when I wouldn’t answer my phone.”  He cupped his cheek and gave him a little kiss.  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.  I’m an asshole.”

“You kind of are, but I’m still relieved that you’re not pissed at me.”  Micheal laughed softly and kissed Alex again.  “Only the fact that you’re cute is keeping me from smacking you right now.”

Laughing, Alex relaxed against him.  “I’m sorry, Michael.” 

“I don’t want a long-distance relationship either.  I don’t think I could take it.  I don’t think either of us could take it.”

“You’re probably right.  But I don’t want your education to suffer for it.”

“And I don’t want your career to suffer for it, so we’ll figure it out together.”  Michael kissed the top of Alex’s head where it was resting against his shoulder.  “I’m pretty fucking done with doing homework, Alex.  I was just fucking around with the idea of going straight into a program.  I actually thought,” Michael laughed, “I actually thought New Mexico Tech would be the best option so we didn’t have to move too far, I just somehow expected that your job offers would be here.”

Alex laughed a little.  “I’m not saying they won’t be.  And I’d be willing to commute to Albuquerque from Socorro if I had to.”

“I could also commute to Socorro from Albuquerque.  Alex, if you get your dream job offer in fucking Russia, I can go to school there after I’ve forgotten how tired I am of required reading.”

“Don’t worry, we’re not going to Russia,” Alex laughed.  “When I look at employers wanting programmers doing intelligence, it’s a lot of government contract work.  There are some aerospace jobs, too.  I do look for jobs for both of us when I search.”

“You’re sweet like that.  One of the many reasons I’m in love with you.”

Alex moved away so that they could look at each other.  “You, Michael Guerin, are the most amazing boyfriend any recovering emo kid can ask for and I love you to pieces.”

Michael laughed and accepted a kiss.  “You’re in recovery from being emo?”

“I took out my nose ring, didn’t I?  Ditched the wallet chain?”

“You’re only in recovery from being emo because you’re evolving into a hipster,” Maria complained as she sat back down.  

“Hey!”

“Don’t worry, baby, I know you’re not a hipster.”

“Watch out Guerin, you’re going to be the cowboy with a hipster boyfriend.”

“Fuck you, Maria.”

“I haven’t gone full cowboy yet.”  He didn’t actually plan to, but had to admit that the boots Max and Isobel had given him for Christmas last year were fucking sweet.  

“And Alex hasn’t gone full hipster yet.”

“Okay, you know I’m sitting right here, right?” 

“Anyway,” Maria continued, ignoring Alex’s protests completely, “Did a little distance help you realize that you’re an idiot?”

Alex sighed.  “Yes.” 

“Told you.”

Michael saluted Maria with his beer.  “Thanks for the support, DeLuca.”

Laying in the bed that night, Alex snuggled up to him, Michael said softly, “You kind of are a hipster.”

“Fuck you,” Alex laughed, rolling away.  “I don’t have a beard, I’m not going around saying I liked things ‘before they were cool,’ and I don’t listen to Vampire Weekend.”

“It’s okay, Alex, I love you anyway.”

“Do you ever want sex again?”

“You can call me ‘cowboy,’” Michael offered.  

“You actually like being a cowboy.” Alex moved back over and wrapped himself around Michael.  “If you’re going into aerospace, I can call you space cowboy.”

“That’s awful, no, don’t.”

“Then don’t call me a hipster.  Because I’m not.”  He kissed Michael’s shoulder.  “I love you, sorry about tonight.”

“Love you too.  It’s okay.”

Michael felt the moment when Alex fell asleep, and sighed happily.  This was his favorite time of day, when the house was just quiet and Alex was asleep in his arms, and there was no distance between them at all.

[ladyninjaa]

My Alpha 3

Imagine: Your heat has finally arrived. Question is, will you let Sweet Pea do his Alpha duty to his Omega?

Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics and Sexual intercourse. (Not smut, sorry, I pussied out, lol)

Part One Part Two

“Are you going to let your Alpha help you through your heat?” Josie asked you a few days after your first date with Sweet Pea. The school day was ending and your body was aching all sorts of awful, you feel light-headed and nauseous; your body’s way of telling you that your body was in the early stages of your dreaded heat. Many of the Alpha males could scent you miles of you—your scent glands were producing a strong smell that instantly caught any Alpha or Beta or even Omega males. It wasn’t an arousing scent meant to make all the males horny, no, it was simply a heated scent made to inform males of an Omega’s incoming heat.

No male but Archie, Reggie, Jughead, Kevin, and Fangs could be around you. Sweet Pea wouldn’t allow any other male around you and no male would come near you—not after the damage, they saw Sweet Pea inflict on Dalton. Also, speaking of which, Dalton had refused to come to school at all and there were rumors that he was thinking about dropping out.

You look at your good friend with wide eyes, “I think so,” You say shyly while tucking your hair behind your ear, “He’s been so good to me and he is my Alpha…I know he won’t pressure or hurt me.” You explain to her while she nods in agreement.

She smiles softly, “Well, I’m glad you won’t go through this heat unattended,” Josie hums happily, “Honestly, I’m surprised you managed to go through your heats for so long without the help of an Alpha male,” Josie adds thoughtfully and sighs, “I had my first heat freshmen year and it was the last one I went through alone,” She rolls her eyes, “I couldn’t stand the thought of going through that pain.”

You and Josie continued to chatter mindlessly in class until the final bell for the day rang; you gathered your things, bid goodbye to Josie, and hurried to your locker because you were excited to see your Alpha. Being near him calmed your body down to the point where the aches and icky feelings were bearable. Sweet Pea was already at your locker speaking with his best friend Fangs and Toni.

“Hey, dork,” Toni greeted you first as you pressed yourself automatically into Sweet Pea; you sought relief of these icky feelings and couldn’t wait to spend the entire weekend with him. Your parents were off to some distant city for the weekend to give you some privacy for your heat. Your parents were always on top of your heats; always staying with you with the needed essentials and for support. Your father was an Alpha and your mother an Omega, therefore, they were very knowledgeable and understanding with you. “How are you holding up?” Toni asked with some concern in her bright eyes.

“I feel pretty miserable,” You answered honestly with a tired smile, “I know I could’ve skipped school today but it was Friday and I wanted to get all my homework and stuff turned in.” You gave a shrug.

“Well, you won’t feel that way much longer,” Fangs patted your shoulder with a smile, “Just being around Sweet Pea helps right?”

You nodded as Sweet Pea grasped your clammy hand, “Yeah, it helps a ton.” You say with evident relief. Sweet Pea makes short conversation with his friends, obviously eager to get you to your house and get you into bed to rest for the upcoming heat. Toni demands you call her after everything to make sure you’re alright. Sweet Pea whisks you away and you glance up at him curiously, “Is my scent distracting you?” You ask curiously seeing the strained look on his face.

He shakes his head, “No,” He responds quietly, “My inner Alpha doesn’t like the state you’re in and where you’re at. I need to get you in your bed where you can rest; I don’t want anything to go wrong.” Sweet Pea doesn’t know that you've made the decision to be intimate with him yet and you couldn’t help but giggle.

“What’s funny?” Sweet Pea growls playfully squeezing your sides.

You gasp and squeal, “No, you know that’s my weak spot!” You giggle and swat at him.

Your Alpha gives you a sultry smirk but keeps his thoughts to himself. It doesn’t take long to get home and Sweet Pea demands you get to bed the instant you do get home, you don’t complain or argue because your body feels fatigued. When the both of you get to your room, you kick off your jeans so that you’re in your underwear and plop on the bed.

“You have a nice ass, baby,” Sweet Pea purrs lightly running his large, warm hand caress your butt with appreciation—you groan lightly at the skin to skin contact. You loved his warm touch against your soft skin so much.

“I have something to tell you.” You turned around and sat criss-cross.

Sweet Pea arches an eyebrow, “What?”

You gave a shy smile, “I, um, I want to make love when my heat hits me full force,” You say feeling your face grow warm from slight embarrassment.

Sweet Pea was silent but then his large hand was wrapping under your face and tilting it so you were looking up at him—His expression was…sexy. “Is that right, little Omega?” Sweet Pea growls quietly, “You’re gonna let your Alpha take care of you?”

You swallow and felt a familiar tingle run through your core, “Y-yes.”

Sweet Pea’s eyes darken considerably, “Are you sure?”

You nod eagerly, “Positive.”

Sweet Pea suddenly smiles and murmurs softly, “What have I done to deserve you?” Sweet Pea kisses you tenderly and holds your face with his large hands; he’s holding you as if you were made of fragile glass. The make-out session ends as Sweet Pea’s phone goes off; a low growl shakes in his throat as he pulls away and huffs, “I told everyone to piss off.”

He gives you a quick, sweet kiss and pulls out his phone from his back pocket; you watch lazily as his dark eyes skim whatever message he received and give you a scolding look, “You didn’t eat at lunch today?” Sweet Pea questions you sounding not so happy.

You give him a sheepish grin, “Greasy food made my stomach curl,” You mumbled with a shrug, “I couldn’t even stomach eating anything.”

Sweet Pea huffs, “I wish you would’ve told me or someone else, babe, you know we would’ve gone to get you something you could stomach instead of starving yourself.” He tilts his head and asks you, “What can you usually stomach during your heats?”

“Organic stuff,” You wrinkle your nose, “Foods that are easy on the stomach and not too greasy. I really like eating tons of Chobani yogurts—Oh! I really, really like that S’mores flip one!” You say brightly. Sweet Pea chuckles at your wide-eyed, bright expression before giving you another kiss.

“I’m going out on a food run then,” Sweet Pea tells you to which you pout cutely, “Take a hot shower or take a nap, baby. We have three days to spend together, no need to be greedy.” Sweet Pea murmurs before nipping at your pouting lips. You giggle in response and nod.

You were feeling pretty tired but you did want to fresh up just in case your heat decided to hit you tonight. Sweet Pea assures you he would come back quickly but you tell him to take his time and to be safe. You feel a little empty as he exits your room but you toughen up—he would be back by the time you were finished with your shower or bath…you were in the midst of deciding which you wanted.

A bath sounded lovely.

You run the water at a steamy temperature that would first sting your skin but would feel amazing and quickly fill the bath water with lavender bath milk to help your skin feel soft and supple for your Alpha. You pull up a bath tray, your preferred book, an ice cold glass of water, and you were set. You weren’t sure how long you were soaking in the tub reading your book and lost to the world but you saw something tall from the corner of your eye and looked up.

Sweet Pea had a few paper bags filled with food in his hands but his dark, smoldering eyes were focused intently on you—the way you were laid out was enticing to him. He could so easily take you! You resembled nothing short of an angel; innocent and beautiful and wet. Your skin was gleaming and your hair was swirled to a bun on the top of your head.

God, you were perfect.

You give your Alpha a lazy smile, “Like what you see, Alpha?” You tease quietly.

Sweet Pea grumbles, “You’re not being fair.”

You giggle as he disappears and you finish your relaxing bath; eager to spend time with your Alpha male. You dressed in your favorite panties and tank top and find your sexy male, not in your room. You figure he’s putting away all of the newly bought goods; you plop on your bed and patiently wait for him to return.

And then you fall asleep.

And wake up to your body freezing; as if you were lying on the ice.

Before you could cry out in pain you feel his warm hands roaming your flesh—the skin exposed by your lack of clothing. Your eyes open in panic but find his handsome face close by—you whimper his name. He coos at you loving and places a loving kiss on your lips. He could smell your heat hitting you and he could also scent your pain.

Why do they call it heat when your body was cold as ice? Sweet Pea wondered.

He had been sleeping alongside you when he smelt the change in your scent and felt how your body was cold as hell. His hands wandered trying to warm your body back up but found it wouldn’t be an easy task—your body was demanding one thing and one thing only.

This heat was aggressive—more aggressive than any previous heat. Sweet Pea hovered over you peppering searing kisses into your flesh and his hands touched anything he could. You whimper and moan against him and feel the familiar ache grow in between your legs. As much as Sweet Pea disliked it; this wouldn’t be romantic as movies in their era depicted it to be; no, heats were painful and needed to be dealt with as quickly as possible or else the pain would grow worse. “Baby,” Sweet Pea’s voice was thick and hoarse, “Do I have your permission?” His voice patient but urgent and you understood why.

This wasn’t even the worst part of your heat but it was horrible.

You nod, “Y-Yes.”

Clothes are taken off and you whine in relief when you feel his flesh against yours; your eyes roll back and Sweet Pea growls quietly as he demands kisses from you. His hands are boldly exploring and bringing you sweet relief. You ache for him badly and you’re voicing this—he whispers hungrily to be a little patient that he’s trying to make this gentle and sweet.

You growl, “I need you, Sweet Pea, please! We have time for sweet and gentle later!”

Sweet Pea would’ve laughed had you not been in pain. No amount of classes could’ve prepared him for his Omega’s heat. He knew the basics but they never once said that he’d be able to almost feel your pain. He almost got hit with some panic—he didn’t want you to be in pain but he didn’t want to rush this and you potentially resent him for making your first time so rushed!

But he needed to take care of your pain and give you relief.

You cry out in relief when you feel him penetrate you—slowly to help you adjust to his size. You were relieved for only a moment before you whimpered at the slightly painful and uncomfortable feeling of being filled. You squirm and he peppers gentle and reassuring kisses on your body and whispers gentle nothings to distract you of the pain.

Eventually, you circle your hips and Sweet Pea takes control.

You feel delirious as Sweet Pea paints your world with colors you never knew existed; he’s gentle but demanding. His hands are soft and sweet but greedy and impatient. You never felt so alive before—you couldn’t imagine ever doing this with anyone but your Alpha male. Your body is coiling and your lower stomach is tightening—a familiar burn you know very well.

Sweet Pea is happy to take you in a few different positions—most meant to dwell deeper inside of you. You feel amazing and beyond anything, he could’ve dreamt or imagine. You feel so hot and tight against him—it was hard for him not to cum inside of you so quickly. Sweet Pea wasn’t the easiest when it came to making him release but being so deep within you was so heavenly. It should’ve been a damn sin.

No woman should feel so soft and hot but, damn, you sure did and it drove him crazy.

He was greedy, of course, he was, he was an Alpha but he was sure to give you what you wanted first. You always came first. You cried out his name and sunk your nails into the flesh of his back to which he growled deeply and continued to push himself into you.

You felt hot now; no longer freezing and shivering. You were sweating, too. Panting heavily as Sweet Pea took you in any way he wanted—not that it bothered you but he made sure you were comfortable before proceeding. It felt like a lifetime—there were gentle moments and rough moments. There was hair pulling and snarling. No novel or movie could ever explain such a joining of two soul mates.

No words could ever compare.

Tears brushed the corner of your eyes and Sweet Pea halted, “Y/N?” His voice was laced with concern and instantly began questioning what could’ve brought tears to your eyes.

You look up at him and whisper, “I love you.”

And Sweet Pea’s face softens greatly and a gentle smile takes hold. He leans over to kiss you gently and whispers back, “I love you.” Both of your worlds crash into one another—the sound of pleasure rings hazily in Sweet Pea’s ears and he can’t help but crave it.

He proceeds to become addicted to your soul and body—An Alpha finally mated to his Omega. The weekend is spent in bed being loved unconditionally by Sweet Pea and now you wonder what you did to deserve such a caring and rough Alpha male.

Sorry for the lack of smut? Honestly, I don’t know why I can’t write out smut anymore, Lol. I have before in my Game ofThrones imagines but I do apologize because I did say I was going to make this a smut...So sorry for that and any errors! I’m not sure if I’ll be extending this series into anymore parts. 

[themadlostgirl]

NDY AU (2)

*A lot of people wanted me to continue the AU I wrote a while ago so here is a short mini-fic full of fluff while I’m working on the new main story.*

Pairing: Reader x Peter Pan

Warnings: language

*Months Earlier*

I don’t think it was a secret that my life in Storybrooke was pretty miserable. Okay, maybe miserable was too strong a word. It was more boring than anything. Monotonous and routine and insufferably predictable. I think there was a phrase that summed it up perfectly: Familiarity breeds contempt.

Everyday was the same. Wake up, go to school, babysitting all afternoon, go home, do homework, go to bed. Each and every day. I didn’t even get a weekend break because that’s what everyone else did. They were off having fun while I watched their kids.

At some point I finally broke. My alarm clock went off and I decided that I was done. I stayed in bed and kept sleeping. When my mom came up to see why I wasn’t up I told her I was sick. Trusting as she was she decided I was telling the truth and left me to my own devices while dad and her went to work. I heard their cars pull out of the garage and then I got up.

It was stupid. I shouldn’t be skipping school. Not like there is a lot to do around this town in the first place but I needed one day off. One day away from my life of repetition. I threw on a inconspicuous hoodie and was out the door.

I meandered around town dodging the gaze of everyone I passed. I was so nervous about skipping school I thought that if someone saw me out and about they would drag me back and I’d get detention for sure. I decided to take a walk through the woods. I had always felt more at home in the wilderness. Something about the neverending trees and chatter of birds put me at ease.

After a good hour of hiking and getting further away from the trail I heard something out of place this deep in the woods. Music. Not loud blaring music coming from a stereo but something softer. It drifted across the air like a lullaby hushing the birds and stilling the trees.

I walked towards the source curious and found an unzipped backpack. Inside was a bunch of notebooks and an overflowing pencil case. Next to it was a phone with music coming out of its speaker. Fairy Dance? Interesting.

“Didn’t your mommy teach you not to snoop.” A voice from above made me jump. I dropped the phone back to the ground.

There was a boy in the tree above me. He dropped down with a glare. He was kinda cute in a bad boy, scruffy, wrong side of the tracks kinda way. It was his eyes that kept me staring though. They were the most beautiful shade of green.

He picked up the phone and stopped the song before stuffing it back in his pocket. “What are you doing out here.”

I snapped back to my senses and looked away, “I was just taking a walk. I heard and the music and--I’m sorry.” I backed away ready to leave. “I’ll be going now.”

“Wait a second. Wait a second.” The boy grabbed me and turned me back around, “You’re cute.”

“Thanks?” I removed his hand from my arm and kept on walking. Still he followed.

“Do I know you?”

“Don’t think so.”

“You’re right. I would remember a face like yours.” he smirked, “What’s your name?”

“Why do you wanna know?”

“I’m a curious guy. I swear I’ve seen you before.”

“Probably at school. Which, shouldn’t you be there right now?” I don’t think this guy could be that much older than me. What was he doing skipping school?

“Nah. Don’t go to school much.” he shrugged. “Actually, if it is a school day, why aren’t you there?”

“I--I--” Crap!

“Don’t sweat it, pet,” he grinned wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Teenage rebellion. It’s a good thing.”

“I’m not rebelling. I just needed a day off.” I shrugged him off once more, “Also, don’t call me pet.”

“Well if you told me your name I wouldn’t need nicknames.” he didn’t try to touch me again but still followed closely.

“Y/N. Happy?”

“Yes. My name’s Peter by the way. Since you didn’t ask.”

“Wasn’t interested.”

“So cold.”

“Only towards creeps like you.” I huffed.

“Hey, hey,” he ran in front of me stopping me, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“Really? Do you just not have any sense of personal space.”

“Truthfully? Always been a bit of a problem with me. Guess because I never got that much love growing up that I crave the gentle touch from others.” he winked and I gagged.

“And you wonder why I think you’re a creep. Although with that comment now I’m thinking you’re more of a pervert.” I shoved past him.

“Okay, seriously, I am sorry. I’m just being a dick.”

“Obviously.”

“Y/N,” he cut me off again, “Can we start over?”

“Why do you care? Leave me alone.”

“If you wish it,” he gave an exaggerated bow and stepped aside to let me pass. “I am sorry though. Don’t think badly of me.”

Those damned green puppy dog eyes. He was actually sorry, wasn’t he? “I forgive you. I’m really on edge with skipping school. It’s not something I’ve done before.”

“Clearly.” he straightened up, “If the lady would be so kind as to let a humble delinquent such as myself teach you the ways of a successful ditch day I would be honored.”

“Wow, you are so damn extra.”

“I try.” he winked, “What do you say?”

“Why not? Not like I have anything else to do.” I shrugged. I don’t know why but I felt like I could trust him. Not only to not be an asshole but to take me on a small town adventure.

He offered up his arm and I took a deep breath before accepting it. We kept on with our walk while Peter talked to me about things to do and how to avoid getting caught.

“What are you doing out here, anyway?” I asked after a while.

“Nothing. Relaxing. Keep away from the house.” he shrugged.

“And the notebooks in your bag?” At that I got a glare. “Sorry, I saw them in your bag. You write?”

“Sketch.” he grumbled.

“Can I see?”

A clap of thunder stopped him before he could answer. “Shit. Come on.” he tugged me along faster now.

Gotta love this Maine weather. We ran through the forest as rain came pouring down on us. I was drenched and freezing but I couldn’t help but smile. I let out a crazy little laugh and Peter looked back at me with a similar grin.

Ahead of us was a run down trailer. We ran inside out of the downpour laughing like idiots. For being an abandoned crappy trailer it wasn’t that bad inside. It was mostly clean and free of any wildlife.

“How’d you know this was here?” I asked as I stripped out of my soaked hoodie.

“Found it a couple months ago. Cleaned it up as best I could so I had a place to hang out in cases just like this.” He shook out the rain from his hair. His eyes raked over me. I crossed my arms over my chest suddenly aware of how much my t-shirt was clinging to me and what it may be showing.

“Here,” he handed me a dry hoodie from in the small closet. “You look cold.”

“Thank you.” I pulled it on relishing in the warmth. It smelled like forest.

“Looks like the rain won’t let up for a while. Unless you wanna brave the storm we’re gonna be stuck here until it passes.” he collapsed back on the couch.

“Joy.” I sat down next to him. “Got a way to pass the time?”

“There’s a chess set in one of the cabinets but half of the pieces are missing.”

“So nothing.” I slumped further in my seat.

“I got a book in here.” he rummaged in his bag and pulled out a copy of Lord of the Flies. “Don’t know if it’s your thing but it's a classic.”

“Gotta say I’m more a Jane Austen kinda girl myself but this’ll do for now.” I took the book, “Thanks.”

“No problem.” We sat in silence for a long while. The only noise being the patter of rain against the side of the trailer and the sound of Peter’s pencil scritching and scratching in his notebook. It was strangely comfortable. There was no need to fill the silence between us. We didn’t need to.

At some point the rain had stopped but I was so invested in my reading I hadn’t noticed. It wasn’t until Peter tapped me that I came back to myself. “Rain stopped.”

“Oh. I guess it did.” I looked around for something to mark the page with since I refused to be a degenerate and dog-ear it. Peter seeing my struggled ripped a piece from his notebook and handed it to me.

“You can keep it if you wanna finish it.” he told me as we left the trailer. “I’ve read it like five times already.”

“You like a story about feral children murdering one another that much?” I cocked an eyebrow up at him.

“Well when you say it like that I sound like a weirdo.”

“You are a weirdo.” I joked.

We walked back to town. School should be letting out about now so I didn’t need to worry about that anymore. Peter pulled me along as we stopped inside the pharmacy for snacks. I noticed him trying to sneak out chocolate bars and smacked him. “I have some cash on me. No need to shoplift sweets.”

We went up to the register and the man scanning the items kept glaring at Peter suspiciously. I would too if I had the right to believe this little shit was stealing inventory. We left and I let Peter take the lead as we wandered around town and talked.

“Alright, I got one,” I said in between bites of my candy, “Would you rather be locked in a room that is constantly dark for a week or a room that is constantly bright for a week?”

“Dark, no question.” he answered.

“Seriously? But you can’t see anything!”

“My eyes would adjust. Besides, the dark doesn’t scare me. Constant bright light would be so annoying though, especially when you’re trying to sleep.”

“Point. Your turn.”

“I got a good one,” he turned to me with that dumb smirk, “Would you rather go back home and pretend to be sick or keep being a rebel and grab dinner at Granny’s with me tonight?”

“Oh…” I felt my face grow warm, “I think--”

“Y/N?” I froze. Dad.

“Hey,” I turned to him, “What’s up?”

“I thought you were sick. Why aren’t you home?”

“Just taking a walk. Getting some fresh air.”

“Uh huh,” he glanced at Peter, “And who is this?”

“Peter...my friend.” I mumbled.

“Sure.” Dad grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Peter’s side. “You’re coming home right now. And you,” he rounded on Peter, “Don’t think I don’t know who you are. I’ve seen Graham dragging your ass into the sheriff’s station on a weekly basis. Stay away from my daughter.”

“Dad!”

“I believe that’s up to Y/N, sir.” Peter smirked wider. I swear I thought steam was going to come pouring out of dad’s ears at any second.

“I will not let my daughter ruin herself with something like you. Now beat it.” Without another word dad dragged me away.

I craned my neck to look back at Peter. He gave me a wink and continued on with his walk.

(1) (3)

[girlwholoveswriting]

Friday Night Date (Peter Parker x Reader)

Peter Parker x Reader

A/N: So, it’s the night after the first day of classes and wow, I hate it HAHAHA. It was good seeing my friends though, but I guess a bit of drama happened during summer and it kind of transferred over to me since I’m frequently the person whom my friends go to for some advice. I guess I was really drained and not feeling so good that I needed to write?? Anyways, here’s some more mediocre fanfiction of my favorite boy Peter Parker! Please let me know if you guys like it and possibly want a part two! If not, then at least writing this made me feel better haha.

Word Count: 1.3k

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

---

Peter took deep breaths, the grip he had on the strap of his bag tightening as he looked at you from across the hall. Classes had just ended and it was a Friday, meaning the weekend had just begun. For some, it was a time to let go of responsibilities and party the night away, for others, it would be finishing homework early to enjoy the rest of the weekend for themselves, but for Peter, today was do or die.

You and Peter had been dating for a while now, but since you both were rather shy and awkward, you had never really gone on an official date together. Ned and MJ would mock you two about it sometimes, so Peter wanted to prove them wrong by asking you out on a simple date that night. Nothing had to happen, all he wanted was to be with you and watch a few movies as you two cuddled. The thought of you two doing so was enough to turn Peter’s face rather red.

Snapping out of that mindset for now though, Peter focused on the matter at hand first before anything could even begin between the two of you; asking you out for the date. As you closed your locker, Peter approached you, calling out your name. “(Y/n)!”

Hearing your name, you turned around to search for the source, only to see Peter approaching you. As soon as you laid your eyes on him, you smiled softly and walked towards him, meeting him half way. “Peter, hey.” “Hey.” Peter smiled back at you sweetly, his smile alone enough to cause your heart to beat faster and your cheeks to heat up. “Are you going home already?” “That was the plan, yeah.” You laughed softly in response. “Do you want to walk home together? I don’t have much to do today, so, we can take our time this time. Y-you know, if you wanted to.” You bit your bottom lip as you finished your statement, bringing the books you held in your arms closer to your face, hiding a part of it.

“I-I… I’d like that, yeah.” Peter replied, nodding his head a couple of times. He then looked down at the stack of books you carried, and chuckled slightly before looking back up at you. “Do you need help with that?” He questioned, pointing at the said books.

“Hm? Oh, oh no it’s okay!” You shook your head frantically, shrinking slightly and taking a few steps backwards. “I’m okay, Peter, I swear.”

“C-could… could I at least take half?” Peter questioned, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, “Boyfriends do that, after all… I don’t want you to carry something heavy while I can help too…”

You couldn’t help but hold back a squeal with how Peter looked right now. You felt like your heart was being filled a fluffy feeling, and the butterflies in your stomach acting up. Biting your bottom lip once again, you finally gave in and gave half of the stack, the much bigger books, to Peter. You smiled defeatedly at him, “You’re really cute, you know that, Peter Parker?”

Receiving the books, Peter childishly grinned at you, letting out a cute laugh soon afterwards. “And you’re even cuter, you know that, (Y/n) (L/n)?”

You stuck out your tongue at Peter as he mimicked you, causing him to laugh even more. Soon enough, you two walked out of the school building and out of the campus side by side, the both of you carrying your books. At the very least, you two were confident enough to walk alongside each other and have a full conversation by yourselves. It was always the dates that made you both feel flustered, but that needed to change as soon as possible.

Looking around him, Peter noticed how close you two were getting to your home, just a few blocks away from where you were now. He had to ask sooner or later. Taking a deep breath, Peter turned his head to look at you, stopping in his tracks, making you stop as well. You looked at him with a confused expression.

“Is something wrong, Peter?” You questioned, tilting your head slightly to the side. You watched as he glanced around, clearing his throat a few times, and eventually, finally speaking.

“A-are… are you free tonight?” Peter questioned rather shyly, the color on his cheeks a lovely shade of pink. “I know that you said that you didn’t have much to do b-but, I just want to make sure. Are you free tonight, as in, nothing going on with your family or anything?”

You shook your head in response, a bit dumbfounded with Peter’s sudden question. Your cheeks turned pink as well as you looked up at him, waiting for him to continue. “N-no, I’m sure I’m very free tonight.”

“Then…” Peter paused for a moment, staring at you intently, looking like he was hesitating for a moment, before continuing his words. “W-would… would you like to hang out at my place tonight? A-as in, like a movie night maybe?”

“Oh.” You relaxed and broke into a smile as Peter finished his question, “Well, why didn’t you just say so? I’d love to have a movie night. Who else is coming?”

“N-no, (Y/n), I was hoping that, y-you know, instead of having Ned or MJ there too… It’ll be the just the two of us, you know, like… like a date.” Peter stated, a sheepish grin forming on his face as he watched your expression change. From a calm and soft expression, your eyes widened and filled with panic, turning into a flustered mess.

“Y-you mean, like a date-date?” You repeated, your voice slightly higher in pitch, “Y-you and me, me and you, you and I, alone, in your room? Watching movies?”

Peter nodded his head, beginning to turn as flustered as you were. “I was hoping that we could, uhh, we could and should spend some time together as a couple sooner or later! I mean we’re dating and everything but, we’ve never actually gone on actual dates with just the two of us and I thought that, maybe you would like to?”

You couldn’t reply immediately, feeling as if there was steam coming out from your ears. Peter began to panic even more. “U-unless of course you wouldn’t want to! That’s perfectly fine too, I understand if you’re not ready yet! I don’t want to rush you so you could just--”

“I-I…” Peter fell silent the moment you began to speak once more.

“Yes?”

“I would… love that.” You managed to say, looking up at Peter with a bright smile on your face, “I really would. I think it’s time to finally be alone together, on romantic dates and not just walking home.”

Peter’s eyes widened at your response, his jaw dropping slightly, “R-really?”

“Yes, really.” You nodded your head and let out a small laugh, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear, “How about we go to your house together after I drop off my things at home and ask  my mom if I could stay out late tonight?”

“That sounds perfect!” Peter’s eyes lit up with joy, a wide smile spreading across his face. Without even thinking, he held out his hand towards you, the other holding the books to his chest securely. “Let’s go!” Slightly startled but recovering rather quickly, you let out a small laugh and took Peter’s hand into yours. The warmth of his hand overlapped with yours, spreading throughout each other’s bodies. You looked at each other silently for a moment, both of your cheeks a rosy pink. You both laughed softly and began to walk in the direction of your house, hand in hand, ready to take small baby steps in your relationship.

[ak-vintage]

The Real Thing: Chapter Four

Summary: Winner of the 2016 Espenson Award for Best Anyelle - Gazelle! When Nathan invites Gaz to the upcoming Meet the Teacher Night at his school, Gaz takes it as a sign that maybe his son is starting to form a better opinion of his worth as a father and immediately agrees to attend. Miss French, however, is nothing like he expected. Perhaps the most notorious womanizer in Sheffield has finally met his match.

Takes place starting just a few days after the beginning of The Full Monty and will continue throughout and beyond the timeline of the film. Rating will likely go up later on.

Rating: Teen and Up (for now)

Pairing: Belle (OUaT) / Gaz (The Full Monty)

Read on AO3 here

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Belle sighed softly into her wine glass, watching the fog from her breath rapidly recede. He was coming over here. And she’d known that he would. She just had to wave back at him. Because she was Belle French, and didn’t she just thrive on a bit of risk-taking? This man had “risk” written all over him, from his black leather jacket to his lean, scrappy build to his sly little grins. The fact that he was her favorite student’s father was only the cherry on the sundae, really.

“All right, Belle?” he greeted, sliding into the space between her and Jean’s abandoned barstool.

She offered him a wan smile and hoped her expression had managed to twist itself into something vaguely pleasant. “Hi, Gaz,” she replied.

It must not have worked, however, because she could see the instant his guard went back up. He hunched his square shoulders and leaned heavily on the bar in front of him, closing himself off almost entirely to her. “Didn’t, ah, didn’t expect to see you here.” His voice was tense, his eyes a bit bewildered.

A twinge of guilt tugging on her gut, Belle took a deep breath and turned toward him. He thought he’d be welcome at her side – her coy smile and wave had seen to that. He hadn’t been expecting the frosty greeting, and frankly he didn’t deserve it. She’d hoped that after their...moment of indiscretion the other night that they might be able to at least become friends. Anything more than that would raise all the wrong questions, and she had worked too hard to get to where she was now to be accused of treating her students unfairly because of a dalliance with one of their parents. But Gaz was a good man, she was certain of it, and being unkind to him as a punishment for also being exactly the sort of man who tended to encourage her to make impulsive decisions was also unfair.

Allowing herself to smile at him, for real this time, she said, “I don’t normally drink on school nights, but my friend Jean’s been itching for a night out for a while, and she works weekends, so…really the only option. What…what brings you here?”

That seemed to put him a bit more at ease, for he offered her a small smile and shrugged affably. “Oh, I’m here all the time, me. Fellas and I’ve had a bit of a long day, so thought we could use a pint or two.”

“Oh?” Belle quirked her eyebrows at him. David had come in with him, and she knew from Jean that he’d been on dole for months. “What’ve you been up to, then?”

A flash of…something flickered across Gaz’s face, but before she could spare a thought for what it was, he quipped, “Oh, you know, this an’ that. Job club. Lining up for a century at the unemployment office just to talk to some bint who don’t want to be there no more than you do. Bloody taxing stuff.”

She could feel the corners of her lips tug upward in spite of the vagueness of his response. “Right…”

“So, can I, uh, get you a drink?” he asked.

“I’ve already got one,” she said, raising her glass at him in a mock toast.

“Right.” He nodded once, his eyes darting around the pub as though a topic of conversation would emerge from the woodwork if he looked hard enough. “‘Course.”

A bit of warmth bloomed in her belly at the lost expression on her new friend’s face. Jean had always left her with the impression that Gaz was a smooth-talker, dead charming in an exaggerated kind of way, but it was clear from the way he was acting tonight that at least part of that charm was carefully cultivated and unaccustomed to being derailed. It was a bit…sweet, really, seeing more of what she expected was the real him peeking through in his moments of uncertainty.

Taking pity on him, she added, “But I could use the company. If you don’t think your friends will miss you too much.”

The muscles in his jaw and around his eyes visibly relaxed in relief, and he offered her a little upward quirk of his lips and a shrug. “Think they can look after themselves for a bit,” he replied.

“Well, good. Have a seat.” Belle used her now half-empty glass of wine to gesture at Jean’s barstool, scooching it out from under the bar counter with one of her dangling feet. She didn’t miss the way his eyes followed the motion, surreptitiously tracing from her sky-high black heels up her stocking-clad leg and ending somewhere near the hem of her short plaid dress. Feeling an unwitting wave of heat rising from the back of her neck, she breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he seemed to shake himself free and quickly scrambled onto the proffered seat. It was somewhat comforting to notice, however, that he seemed just as embarrassed as she, judging by the pink flush darkening his cheeks and the fine pointed tips of his ears.

“So…erm… How’ve you been? Other than…busy with this and that,” she asked, eager to move as quickly as possible through the awkwardness. Not for the first time, she found herself regretting allowing him to kiss her the night of the conference. They had spoken so easily to each other before then, but now –

“Uh, good. Real good.”

– now it seemed this was the best they could hope for.

Scrambling for another topic of conversation, she mentioned, “I don’t know if Nathan’s told you, but he finally did sign up for the after-school tutoring program.”

It must have been the right thing to say, for the change the mention of his son made in his demeanor was striking and immediate. He sat up straighter in his seat, turned more fully toward her, and couldn’t seem to stop the grin spreading across his face like a ray of sunshine. “Yeah? He did?”

“Yeah, it seems to be going well so far! I’ll know more once he takes the next unit exam, but his homeworks have already begun to show improvement.”

Gaz’s smile widened, obvious pride beaming out of his expression, and Belle felt a strange warmth begin to burn in her chest at the sight. “Well, that’s…that’s aces. I…I talked to him, like you said. Don’t know if it helped any, but I did it.”

“Oh, Gaz, that’s wonderful! I’m so glad!”

Gaz started then, his eyes going a bit wide as he glanced down at the bar. Following his gaze, Belle realized, to her mortification, that in her enthusiasm and that strange, sudden surge of affection for the man before her, she had reached out and covered one of his hands with her own. In an instant, she registered his warmth, his wiry strength – these were the hands that had helped her into her jacket that night, had held the door open for her on their way out of her classroom, had gently cradled her neck as his lips met hers in her car outside his flat…

She withdrew her hand as though his skin had burned hers.

A deep breath. A gulp of wine. A painfully awkward pause, and then –

“So, erm, how about you?” Gaz spouted, running his hands through his dark blonde hair anxiously. “How’ve you been?”

“All right,” she replied dumbly. Internally, she was fuming. Why can’t we get this right?!

He tried again. “How’s the whole…teaching thing?”

Belle let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding when she realized that this was something that she could actually talk about – work was a safe topic. His son was a safe topic. She could do this. “It’s good. I, uh, gave an essay exam today over a book the students just finished reading. I was planning on spending the evening grading them, but then Jean called, and I turned her down the last time she asked me to come out with her and Sharon and Bee, so I felt a bit guilty saying no again.”

Gaz’s eyebrows nearly reached his hairline. “You’d rather be at home grading essays?”

“I know, pretty dull, right?”

“A bit, yeah!” Gesturing vaguely in the air, he asked, “Pub not really your cup of tea?”

“Yeah, not at all. I just…guess I’m more of a ‘cuppa tea and a good book’ kind of girl,” she replied with a shrug. Wrinkling her nose, she added, “And I really don’t like beer.”

“Well, no one says you have to get beer at a pub,” he retorted. “You’ve got a…what’s this?” Gaz’s eyes went comically wide then dangerously narrow as he leaned forward to examine the drink in her hand. Making a noise somewhere between shock and disgust, he reached forward and tipped the glass toward him, bringing his face comically close to its contents. “Is that fucking pink wine?!”

Belle didn’t know whether to be offended or to burst out laughing. “The term is rosé,” she declared, delicately yanking the glass back out of his grip and taking a self-satisfied sip.

“The term is shit, is what it is!” he cried. At that, she couldn’t restrain her laughter and outright giggled.

“Oh, so no one says you have to get beer at a pub, but there’s some kind of rule against rosé?”

“You’re damn right there is!” Gaz nodded once emphatically, as though the words she had just said were not a sarcastic quip but rather the deepest truth, as though in the last few seconds he had decided something profound and he was determined to act on it. He raised his arm and flagged down the bartender. “Hey, Bob – can I get two…oh, fuck, I don’t even care, just can you make this go away? Ta, very much.” And before Belle could even comprehend what he had done, Gaz had taken the half-empty glass from her and passed off to the harried, balding man on the other side of the bar counter.

Her jaw dropped as she watched the bartender nod and walk off with her drink. “Hey! That was my drink – I paid for that, you know!” The last bit she directed at the man next to her, who seemed completely unrepentant and, in fact, even more determined to make her see the error of her ways.

“Aye, which is why I’m paying for this one. Which, as you’ll see, is far superior to the frilly garbage you were drinking a minute ago.” Nodding at the returning bartender, he accepted two squat glass tumblers containing an anonymous caramel-brown liquid and several ice cubes with a muttered thanks.

“Perhaps I happen to like frilly garbage!” she cried.

This man was absurd! First he had the gall to kiss her, his son’s schoolteacher (never mind that she had welcomed it, never mind that for the first several moments, she had reciprocated, had wanted it, had relished the feeling of his lips against her, his hands pulling her close…). Then he intruded on her girls’ night with her friends (which she didn’t particularly want to be at, but that was, again, beside the point) and he couldn’t even manage to hold a normal conversation without insulting her drink preferences, and now he had stolen the second half of her well-deserved glass of wine only to insist on buying her something he thought was somehow better?! Who did this man think he was?! Wasn’t he unemployed? What was he doing buying drinks for women he shouldn’t even be socializing with at pubs he wasn’t invited to?

Oh, god. He’s unemployed. Wonderful. So not only am I accepting a drink from a student’s father who I am certainly not absurdly attracted to, but he’s also unemployed and is barely making enough on dole to support said son…who is my student. Guilt roiled in the pit of Belle’s stomach as she watched Gaz slide one of the tumblers down the bar toward her, clearly offering it to her. “Gaz, please, I can’t let you – ”

“Already done it, though, haven’t I?” he was quick to reply, his tone allowing no further room for protest. “You wanna let it go to waste? You’re talking to a man with no job, remember?”

Belle clenched her jaw, her gaze flicking back and forth from the drink to his face.

Realizing that he had just touched on (one of) her sources of hesitance, Gaz offered her a small smile, his warm, brown eyes softening in something that looked dangerously like fondness. “C’mon, luv,” he murmured. “What’s the harm? It’s just a drink.”

“…fine.”

She couldn’t continue to refuse him. With a reluctant upward quirk of her lips, she picked up the glass of ambiguous liquor and inclined it toward him. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.” He clinked their glasses together, and they each took a sip, Belle much more tentatively than he.

Sugar. Bitters. Whiskey. Strong, but not overly strong. Sweet, but not cloying. It coated her tongue thoroughly, burned on the way down.

She had to admit, although it packed a bit more of a punch than she had originally signed up for on a school night, it wasn’t half bad.

Next to her, Gaz was watching her intensely, running his tongue delicately over the fullness of his lower lip to catch a droplet of condensation that had collected there. A flare of heat roared up from her stomach and across her chest at the gesture. She told herself it was the liquor that was the source of the sudden flush in her cheeks, on the back of her neck, but the way that heat eventually settled and pooled in her lower abdomen belied such an explanation.

“Well? Your verdict, m’lady?”

In an attempt to hide the sudden trembling in her fingers, Belle brought her glass to her mouth once more and took another sip. “…it’s good,” she admitted reluctantly.

A brilliant, wicked grin lit up his face immediately. “Bloody right it is! This is a proper drink, this.”

“It is,” she agreed, unable to prevent herself from answering his smile with one of her own. “But I still like my rosé. Just for the record.”

Gaz chuckled somewhat exasperatedly and shrugged, seemingly satisfied with the partial victory. “Ah, well. Never claimed to work miracles.”

For a moment, they were silent, enjoying their drinks, the quietness companionable and comfortable for the first time all evening. Belle found herself savoring it, this moment where it seemed as though they could return to the ease with which they had interacted with one another the first night they had met. Gaz may have been one of the most frustrating people she had ever encountered, but her assessment of him had not changed since that night. He was a good man. He was funny and generous, lively and incorrigible. They could be friends.

“So what’re you doing sitting over here all by yersen when Jean and all your mates are out there?” he asked after a spell, nodding in the direction of the dancefloor. The three women stood right in the very center, shouting along with the lyrics of whatever driving rock n’ roll number the house was currently pumping through the speakers and hanging onto each other in their merriment. Belle grinned at the sight and shook her head.

“I’m not much of a dancer.”

“I don’t believe that for a second!”

She started at the emphatic tone of his voice. “Oh, no?”

“Not for a bloody second. Every time I seen you, you been in these sky-high heels, right?” Gaz reached out with the toe of his boot and bumped lightly into one of Belle’s dangling feet, and she tried not flush at the unexpected contact. “Bet you’re real light on your feet to get on so well in these all the time.”

“Ha! Well, I suppose you got me there. I used to dance ballet, growing up. In comparison to pointe shoes, heels aren’t that much of a trial. And I just really like the way they look, so learning to walk in them well was worth it for me.” At that moment, Belle caught a glimpse of Sharon swaying and swinging her hips in a smooth, rhythmic pattern to the beat of the baseline in the song. Even in her clearly inebriated state, she exuded confidence and self-assurance, as though reveling in her own sensuality. It was clear that she was having the time of her life and knew she looked amazing doing it, and Belle felt more than heard herself sigh somewhat wistfully.

“That is what I mean when I say I’m not much of a dancer,” she added, bringing his attention to the display that Sharon had now drawn Jean into. They were playing off each other and the beat of the music, laughing and pretending to flirt with one another. “I don’t know the first thing about dancing like that.”

Gaz’s adams apple bobbed in this throat, and she wasn’t sure if it was due to discomfort at seeing his friend’s wife showing off so blatantly in the middle of the crowded pub or if perhaps it was something else. If perhaps he was picturing her dancing like that. Either way, his noncommittal response of “ah, I see” provided little insight.

“What about you? Do you dance?” she asked.

Another flash of…something crossed his face – embarrassment? Amusement? Chagrin? – before it quickly disappeared, and he nodded. “Yeah, just a bit. You could say I’ve been…learning.”

“Well, then, shouldn’t you be the one on the dancefloor?” Belle said primly, taking another sip of her whiskey drink. “Let’s see your moves.”

“What, like this?” And with that, Gaz hopped off of his barstool and did something that looked like a haphazard moonwalk toward the dancefloor, pausing now and then to throw in an out-of-time shoulder shimmy, before crossing his right foot over his left and spinning all the way around.

Belle burst out laughing, putting down her drink to clap wildly as he grinned and bowed several times in a row, veritably glowing in the light of her amusement and approval. “Bravo! Bravo! See, this is how it ought to be! I couldn’t compete with that.”  

At that, his proud grin seemed to melt and soften into something almost intimate, something simmering with warmth and confidence. It was a something that was very much like the thing she had sensed in him the night they had first met, that had called to her in that cozy car parked outside his flat. And he was getting closer now, just as he had that night, slowly approaching her with measured, careful steps until he was mere inches away.

“Prove it,” he murmured, his tone somewhere between a challenge and a secret, as though he had just told her something in the strictest confidence while also daring her to share it with the whole room.

Across those few inches that now separated his torso from where she sat on her barstool, she could feel the heat of him, could smell his warm, sharply masculine scent. Like tobacco and soft leather and worn cotton flannel, strangely comforting and more than a little enticing. She didn’t know what he was playing at, invading her personal space like this, but wasn’t this sort of thing also why she was so drawn to him? Gaz was clearly a man who pushed boundaries, who delighted in defying others’ expectations.

And when was the last time Belle had allowed herself to push a few boundaries?

Gaz extended a hand to her, smiling expectantly. “C’mon, then, Belle. Let’s live a little, eh?”

Belle gulped at the sound of her name on his tongue. She couldn’t say no. She just couldn’t.

Had any of her students referenced “sparks flying” in their writing for her class, she would have left them with a comment about trying to avoid using such clichés in the future. However, the moment she allowed Gaz to take her hand in his and draw her onto the dancefloor, she knew she would stand corrected from now on. Flying sparks was not a cliché, it was an experience as real as breathing. Frissons of electricity sizzled along her palm where it touched his and along her knuckles where his thumb stroked softly, absentmindedly. Her mouth ran dry and her heart beat a tattoo against the inner surface of her ribcage and oh god, this is so dangerous, why am I letting him touch me, what happened to being a professional?!

But she didn’t let go. She didn’t look away. She allowed him to lead her out onto the floor, allowed him to pull her close and settle his hands on her waist, allowed her own hands to rest delicately on his shoulders. And she wasn’t sure anything could have pulled her away.

To anyone who happens to still be following this story, I am forever thankful for you.

To see Belle’s outfit for this chapter, you can go here :)