#I used to think everyone got paid well with movies and television

[random-imagines-blog]

Ambulances {Robert Downey Jr x Teen!Reader Oneshot} 

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 3483 Summary: Being the youngest actor on the MCU is a dream come true - but why doesn't you feel as good as you should? Notes: Talks about depression.

This was meant to be everything that you ever wanted. The chance to work on one of the biggest franchises the world had ever seen. Appearing in a huge movie, and then getting the chance to star in a television show afterwards, all about your character. Possibly more movie appearances. Getting paid so handsomely that if you were careful, you wouldn’t ever go into debt. Rubbing elbows with some of the biggest and brightest stars in the world. Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch. And you weren’t even out of high school yet. You were supposed to be living the dream.  

Then why did it feel like it was spiraling down into one of those nights where you don’t remember your dreams? It wasn’t a nightmare. There were negatives but nothing that you didn’t expect going into the acting profession. You didn’t hate your job. You didn’t hate your character. You just - started to feel nonchalant about the whole thing. Nothing at all. It started off with not feeling as excited as you used to when you woke up in your trailer to go to set. You were tired and had to drag yourself out of bed to go to hair and make-up.  

Robert was getting his done, his iconic Tony Stark facial hair being trimmed and shaved perfectly. You muttered a good morning before taking your seat, and one of the makeup artists came to work on you. 

“Rough night, kid?” Robert asked, raising an eyebrow at you.  

“I don’t think I slept that well,” you said. “Just - couldn’t get out of bed today.” 

“That’s called being a teenager,” He chuckled.  

“Yeah, probably,” you said, forcing out a chuckle back. You would just chalk this one up to a bad day. Everyone had those. You were able to pep yourself up for your scenes, and work through them without any issues. It was good to focus on something other than yourself for once. Get into the character. Become someone else for a little while. Someone who was mighty, and strong, who got out of bed each morning without trouble - unless they were beat up, which because this was a superhero movie, happened quite often. But you declined going out for dinner with everyone else, just saying that you were tired and headed back to your trailer while they went out to enjoy themselves.  

You looked around your trailer once you were inside. It was quiet in there, save for the very faint buzzing of electricity that was powering the lights. You collapsed down on the small couch where you usually went over your lines but - you couldn’t think of what to do. You didn’t feel like doing ... anything. There was your gaming console set up by the tv, a stack of games - but you didn’t feel like playing them. There was Netflix and Amazon Prime and Disney Plus and Hulu - but you didn’t feel like watching anything. There was your laptop, but you didn’t feel like website surfing. So, you just - sat there. Doing nothing. Feeling nothing.  

Your phone went off. You could see the name on top. One of your best friends from back home. Someone that you usually loved to talk to. But you just ... didn’t feel much like talking to them. A stab of guilt made its home in your stomach once the screen went dark again, knowing that you should have answered it. There was no reason to ignore them. But you still didn’t move. Just letting this feeling of ‘you should you should you should’ take you over.  

-- 

You didn’t even remember falling asleep - and you couldn’t remember if you dreamt or not. One minute, you were sitting on your couch, staring blankly ahead of you, not even thinking of anything, and the next, you were still sitting there but there was light coming in through the curtains and your alarm was going off on your cellphone.  

You were astounded at yourself. You’d never done this before, never felt this way before. You forced yourself up and into the shower but there too, you didn’t feel like doing much of anything. It all felt so ... tedious and worthless. How many times in your life were you going to waste time, standing here in the shower, washing your hair? How many times were you going to cover your loofa in bodywash and lather yourself up? Doing it all today just to do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. It felt so dull. 

And when you got out, all squeaky clean and put on a random hoodie and jeans to head out to hair and makeup, yet again, you didn’t feel as good as you usually did. Usually, a shower was just the thing that helped you start the day. You felt good when you were clean. “God, what’s wrong with me?” You muttered to yourself as you went into trailer and took your seat. 

This time it was Chris Evans that got there the same time you did, sitting in the opposite chair. “You missed a fun night,” he said, grinning at his phone. 

“Oh,” you said, looking straight ahead of you into the mirror. You forced out a laugh that didn’t feel real. “Next time, next time.” 

“I’ll hold you to it. They had some of the best tacos that I’ve ever had-” Chris said, turning into an excited puppy as he often did when he found something that he liked. Usually, it was enough to make you cheerful. But you just tuned him out, not having the attention span for this conversation. Or maybe it just wasn’t the energy. 

The makeup artists started on you, having to use a bit more concealer than they usually did. “Make sure you get all eight hours,” The artist reminded you.  

“Yeah, sorry about that,” You forced a chuckle. She covered your dark circles expertly, patting on powder to try to make it look more natural, and then you were out there to get ready for the shot of the day. You had a bit of time until you actually had to be on the set, since you were just coming in at the end of the scene, so you sat down and just ... watched. You didn’t really say anything to anyone. You weren’t in the most sociable mood. You let your mind wander, your body being present, but your mind was far away.  

“Hey kid,” A voice snapped you out of it. You blinked a couple of times and looked to see that Robert was sitting right next to you. You hadn’t noticed because you had been so busy thinking about ... you couldn’t even remember. That was more startling than Robert’s voice coming out of nowhere. You had no idea what you had been thinking about.  

“Hey,” You nodded, and then looked back out to the set, watching Chris Evans and Scarlett working together on a scene. “I didn’t know you were supposed to be on set today.” 

“‘m not, but I got bored so though I’d check it out,” he said, crossing his arms in front of him. Robert Downey Jr was intimidating, not because he was tough or scary, but because of his long career, and how he managed to recover from some pretty drastic dips. “You seem a little glum, chum.” 

“No, I’m just ... tired,” you said. It felt like a flimsy excuse, but you didn’t have one that felt better. It must have sounded weak as well, because Robert took off his sunglasses in a very Tony fashion and slipped them into his front pocket.  

“Just tired?” He asked. “You coming down with the flu or something?” 

“That could be it,” You nodded, clutching onto that idea. Maybe you had just gotten sick. Maybe there was a bug going around. There was always some kind of bug going around. It would explain your increase in listless behavior. You weren’t always the most active person, but you had been able to keep up with Marvel’s standards for their actors, but now that you were finding it harder, the flu made perfect sense. “Yeah, I think it’s just the flu. Better not get too close, huh?” 

“I’m not worried, I get my shot every year,” Robert said, casually. “You know - you could come to one of us if something is wrong, right?” 

It almost felt like an accusation of sorts. Like he could see right through you. See something that you were having trouble seeing in yourself.  

“Yeah, of course, you’re like - the best mentor ever,” You nodded, forcing on another smile. Just the flu, nothing was seriously wrong, it’s not like you could be ... depressed or anything. You didn’t have time to be depressed. You weren’t in the right business to be depressed.  

Your name was being called by the director, so you stood up quickly. “Gotta go. Good talk.” 

“Yeah, good talk,” Robert said, watching your back as you walked away. He saw something in you that he saw in himself, saw the beginning of something that he had struggled through for a lot of his adult life. And he didn’t want to see you struggle through it, at least not alone. He was going to be keeping an eye on you - two if he could spare them. 

-- 

It felt like the longest month of your life. It just dragged on, and on. There were at least four times that you had almost quit the movie. Where you brought up your manager’s number on your phone and almost pressed dial because you wanted out of your contract. It didn’t matter how much money you would owe the studio, or that you would be blackballed in Hollywood. Nothing felt like it mattered anymore. Your gaming system and laptop were collecting dust, literally, you had drawn a sad face on the system in the dust. You didn’t go out with the rest of the cast anymore, claiming other plans or that you weren’t feeling well, and spent the time in your trailer alone, with the lights off. Not because you were hiding but because you didn’t care to turn them on. You’d just be turning them off when you went to sleep so what was the point? You woke up, you dragged yourself out of bed, you went to set, and then you went back to your trailer and back into bed. You’d doom scroll through social media but not interact with anything.  

You went through the horrors of the world like you were trying to prove something. Or use it as a reason to be the way that you were being. The world was a crazy, unhappy place, so of course you were unhappy. Of course, you were falling into a depression - which was something that you could no longer deny. This wasn’t a few bad days, or the flu, or just feeling uneasy. This was full on, falling through the cracks, feeling worthless, depression.  

You didn’t deserve to be here. You weren’t putting in the work that you should be, which made you anxious about your performance, which made you feel even worse. You felt like you were just an imposter among all of these stars, you didn’t earn your place among them. It should be someone else here. A star like - Jenna Ortega, or Noah Schnapp, would fit in here better than you could. You were messing up your lines, having to have someone feed them to you through a small earpiece that couldn’t be seen on camera. You were given warnings by the director to shape up. You didn’t even cry when you were given that criticism. You didn’t get mad, you didn’t feel proud that he cared enough about you to want you to do better, you just felt numb to it, and returned to your bed like you did time and time again.  

It was after you spent an entire weekend in your bed, not showering, only eating what you could grab quickly and bring back to the bed, which was all the unhealthy stuff, not even changing your pajamas once, that you admitted that you had a problem. That you were forced to deal with the cold reality that - you weren’t coming down with the flu, but that this could seriously be depression. You couldn’t live in the denial of it anymore. 

You knew you should call your parents. Maybe your manager. Maybe even your family doctor to get a referral to a therapist or something along those lines. But there was only one person that you could think of talking to. 

You forced yourself into a shower, found some clothes that smelled relatively clean and didn’t have any stains on them, and put your shoes on for the first time in days. The sun was shining, and you had to admit that it felt kind of nice on your skin after so long. The crew were running around, getting things prepared for today’s shoot, which you didn’t have any part of. A free day, at least for now.  

You walked past a couple of the trailers, looking for the right one. A sign in the door had his name in big block letters, and you saw that he had drawn a little Iron Man underneath it. It wasn’t very well done but it was recognizable. You knocked on the door and then put your hands in your pockets, looking around to see if anyone was noticing you lingering outside. 

The door opened and Robert poked his head out. His cool expression warmed up when he saw you standing there. “What’s up kid?” 

You looked at him and you tried to think of exactly how you were going to say this. He already knew the meaning behind you coming to his door. But - he was still going to make you say it. You just had to say it. 

“I think - I have a problem, Robert,” You admitted. It was the first time that you said it out loud. Your first outside admission that something was wrong. You were putting it out into the universe because that’s the only way that you could get any sort of help.  

“I thought so,” Robert said, stepping out of his trailer. “Come with me.” 

-- 

He didn’t take you straight to a therapist or to the hospital or anything else that you had fared he was going to do. Instead, he took you to a small ice cream parlor near the studio. He bought you a sundae, loaded with all of your favorite toppings, even if you didn’t necessarily feel like eating something sweet right now. You didn’t feel like you deserved the treat. 

“Go on,” Robert urged, digging into his own with a plastic spoon. “You admitted you have a problem. That’s step number one, you deserve it.” 

It was like he could read your mind. He knew exactly what you were thinking and why you weren’t eating. So, you picked up the spoon and you dug it into the mess of ice cream and toppings and sauces and took out a large scoop and put it into your mouth. The sweetness ... actually tasted sweet. It didn’t taste like ashes on your tongue like a lot of food does these days. Eagerly, you went for a second scoop, and Robert was looking at you like you were a child of his that he was proud of.  

“I - I don’t know if it’s depression exactly. I’ve never really been depressed before,” You admitted, stirring your ice cream to make it a little softer, a little easier to eat. “As far as I know, it doesn’t run in my family. And ... it’s not like ... I feel sad or anything. I don’t cry...” 

“Depression isn’t just about feeling sad. Everyone feels sad,” Robert said, taking a bite of his own. “It sucks the life right out of you. It makes you lose your spark. Your passion. Any pleasure that you have in life, it just ... takes it away.” 

“That ... is how I’ve been feeling,” you said with a small nod. “I know it’s ridiculous, like, I’ve got my dream role and -” 

“It doesn't matter, kid,” Robert said, kindly. “You could be the happiest, richest person on the planet, and you can still get depressed. It’s not about deserving it. It’s just something that unfortunately happens.” 

You kept stirring your ice cream rather than eating it, watching the toppings drown under the melting cream. It was hard to take in that this was something that was actually happening to you. It was like a car crash in a way. It happened to other people. It was never supposed to happen to you. 

“So, what do I do?” You asked, slumping back. “Because I can’t ... I can’t be this way. It’s exhausting. I’m forgetting my lines, I can’t concentrate, I keep fucking up scenes and I feel like everyone is mad at me -” 

“No one is mad at you,” Robert said, pointing his spoon in your direction. “Everyone is worried about you. I think we all had it figured out before you did. Did you know that Evans has social anxiety? He works on it every day. He’d be another good person to talk to about all of this stuff. It’s different from depression but ... it has some of the same struggles.” 

“I’ll try to remember that” You mumbled. “So really, what do I do? How can I... get over this?” You plead. You put all of your trust in Robert here. He’d become a leading figure in your life since you joined the MCU.  

“It’s a disease,” Robert said, sadly. “It’s not something where you just take two pills and you’re done. There are medications that’ll help you out, but they take a little while work, and sometimes, you have to go through a couple of different ones to find out what works for you. Though what I’d recommend is therapy.” 

“Therapy?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed together. “I don’t even know what I’d say. I don’t have some ... deep childhood trauma that I can just point my fingers to. I don’t even ... know how to explain how I feel.” 

“You did a good enough job with me,” Robert pointed out.  

“That’s because I know you. I’m comfortable with you. And you knew what it was before I did...” 

“Why don’t I give you the name and number of the therapist I’ve been seeing for years. They’re really good,” Robert said, taking off his sunglasses and making straight up eye contact with you. “Or - they can help you find someone who fits you best. That’s important. You have to feel comfortable talking to them. There’s no shame in trying to find the one for you.” 

You groaned and put your head down on the table, the metal feeling cold against your forehead. You were hoping it was going to be easier than that. That it could just be like antibiotics, take two a day and scare the depression away. But of course, nothing was ever going to come that easy in this life. You were going to have to work for it. Just like how you worked hard for everything else that you achieved.  

“It’s going to be a trek,” Robert said, clicking his tongue, spooning up more of his ice cream. “But I think you can handle it. You took that first step, now you just have to make a phone call.” 

He took a card out of his wallet, and he slid it across the table to you. A professional business card, the name and number of a therapist. You just looked at it from your position on the table, your head turned onto its side now. “Do I have to do it right now?”  

“You don’t have to do anything,” Robert shrugged. “It’s up to you when you’re ready.” 

You sighed again. You missed the days when your parents used to make the phone calls. Used to schedule your appointments for you. Made sure that you got there on time. That was one of the annoying parts of being an adult. You had to do it yourself now. 

You raised your head and read the card again. The name of the doctor in a neat, no-nonsense font. You took another spoonful of your ice cream, took your phone out of your pocket, and started to dial the number, looking at Robert the whole time who gave you a thumbs up. It was going to be a rough road but - at least you could honestly say that you were not alone. That helped more than anyone could ever understand. 

[playermagic23]

Shah Rukh Khan starrer Jawan to premiere on Zee Cinema; Ridhi Dogra reveals, “I said no first to playing his mother onscreen because I love Shah Rukh Khan so much”

Ridhi Dogra essayed the role of Azad aka Shah Rukh Khan’s foster mother in the action entertainer, directed by Atlee.

Jawan, which marked the debut of Nayanthara in Bollywood and garnered ample love from Shah Rukh Khan and Vijay Sethupathi fans, is all set for its world television premiere. The Pan India Atlee directorial, which released in theatres in September and later on Netflix, will be premiering on Zee Cinema during the upcoming Republic Day weekend, on January 28. In an interaction, Ridhi Dogra, who essayed the role of Kaveri Amma, the foster mother of younger SRK, Azad in the upcoming actioner, revealed about her experience of working with such big names and also mentioned about how she prepped her character.

In an interview, Ridhi Dogra opened up about her experience of sharing screen space with the cast which included Shah Rukh Khan, Nayanthara, and Deepika Padukone who featured in a special role in the movie. “I'll be honest, I was very nervous about playing SRK's mother on screen. I said no first to playing a mother onscreen because I love Shah Rukh Khan so much and was in two minds about this. I mean 'it's SRK,” revealed Ridhi. She also went on to add how the actor paid her, her biggest compliment by expressing his desire to reunite with her on screen. “I think my biggest compliment would be from Shah Rukh Khan himself. I don't think I need any more responses after he said that he would like to work with me again. And for me, that is fantastic.”

Further talking about working with the leading ladies, Ridhi couldn’t stop gushing about their sincerity and hard work. “Nayanthara is very focused when it comes to work, she is very real. Her family plays a very significant role in her life but she manages her professional life equally well. It was a great experience with everyone,” shared the Jawan actress. She also praised Deepika Padukone adding, “Deepika is a beautiful human being and very generous and very friendly. She made me feel very comfortable in spite of being such a big actress. I remember her sitting with all of us and having conversation, everyone got rid of any intimidation they had.”

In the same breath, Ridhi also opened up about the prep she had to undergo to essay her character since she donned an avatar much older to her real age. “Everyone wants to look beautiful in the quintessential way; starlet, fashionista, but I am also an actor. The only thing I saw in it was that it was challenging for me. That's the only thing that pushed me to do it.” She concluded, “On-set, it would take me close to 2 hours to get into costume and hair and make-up, but that wasn't stressful at all.”

[audaxprocella]

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐭 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 …

Movement then stillness. Whispers to silence. Warmth turned to a chill. Inhale, hold. Exhale, let it go. My eyes were no longer swollen, my lips weren’t bruised but it was my heart—the stupid feeble thing that reflected my pain. 

“Do you need anything while you wait?” 

The soft voice filtered through my thoughts and memories giving me pause, bringing me back to the present. Relax, Zuri, just relax. I turned to the face the assistant with a warm smile. She was a petite one with a heart shaped face and high cheekbones. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she was a previous version of me. Perhaps an aspiring actress or model. Her style was very comfortable but she wore the rehearsed smile well. 

“I—“ My words were interrupted when the door swung open and the two men stood there. Irregardless of who I was now, I always wondered how I would feel in this moment. The Xanax and anti depressant cocktail that I took earlier fought desperately against the anxiety in my body. Sean Brown. The greatest child actor of his time. Three Emmys, and a Golden Globe. Two times Oscar nominee for Best Supporting Actor. My ex-boyfriend. That last bit was unknown to the world. A secret between me, Vera and my therapist. I didn’t even tell Reyhan about him because I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how to relay that part of my life to the people who didn’t know me as a child or in my therapist’s case—was being paid to sort through my issues.

“Zuri, you’re right on time! Come on in and I will introduce you both,” the director spoke as he gestured for me to step into his office. The young assistant stepped aside as I rose from my seat. Curiosity always got the best of me and I wondered.. Would he? “Sean, Zuri is a force to reckon with.” 

My feet followed somewhat of their own accord. I think the drugs were finally starting to kick in because I certainly felt like I was on autopilot. This wasn’t my first time in this office, after all when one of the most prolific directors in Hollywood asks you to be the female lead in their movie, you didn’t say no. This was an opportunity of a lifetime and I wanted every opportunity that I could get. It was a large office, larger than my first apartment in South L.A. which wasn’t really saying much because to have called that apartment a shoebox would’ve been insulting to shoeboxes. The walls were painted a creamy white, the furniture all black, tanned and leather. A standard feature for these movie moguls. I sat on the massive chair, Sean took the seat beside me. 

“Have you two ever met? Zuri, was an extra on one of your shows, Sean but I doubt you would’ve remembered her.. She didn’t have any speaking lines. But small world nonetheless.” He leaned forward and placed two scripts in front of us. 

Who would speak first? I always made him take the lead. Never speaking unless spoken to. I shrunk myself to soothe his ego.

【Ｆｏｕｒ　Ｙｅａｒｓ　Ａｇｏ】

”Cut! That’s our wrap for this scene. Good job everyone.” The crowd slowly dispersed, fellow actors, crew members and other staff making their way to their trailers or away from the studio. It was my third day filming this television show and I never imagined that even as a 2nd rate extra it would be so hectic—but man did I love it. After the disaster fiasco of dating my college professor, this was exactly what I needed. Pour myself into work and make it out here in LA. 

I didn’t have a trailer and the clothing I wore was out of my own closet. A quick glance at my watch told me that I needed to make my way to the bus stop as soon as possible or I’d have to walk two miles to get a decent priced Uber at this time. 

“Hey you!” The voice was directed in my general direction, but I didn’t turn around because there were still a few of us in the area. “Yo, curls! Red shirt!” Frown lines creased my forehead. I turn around to see one of the PAs on set. “You up for a bit of extra cash? We lost one of our body doubles for a scene and you’re the right size. I’ll set it up with your agency to pay.” 

I tug my lip between my teeth, shit. It was already late but I could use the extra cash. Plus this could be a good way to meet some of the main cast and network. However, I would definitely miss my bus.

“I don’t have all day. Yes or no?”

“Yes.”

“Perfect. Come with me.” She grabbed my hand, leading me to the costume trailer. They stripped away my clothes and place me in something nearly identical to one of the main cast leads. A delicate black dress that hugged my hips, dipping low in the back. “Just wait by the fountains and I’ll grab you when you’re ready. What’s your name?”

“Zuri Dubois.”

“Gotcha.” She scribbled something on a paper then tore it in half handing me one part. “Give this to your agent and we’ll sort the payment.” 

My chestnut gaze watched as she left towards the main studio, and I diverged to the fountains. It was a beautiful place, being by the fountains. I found myself sitting peacefully, listening to soft flow of the water. The fabric of this dress was unlike what I had every felt before. I wonder if they always had body doubles in such quality material. 

“Be careful, you don’t want to fall in Melly.” I startle at the smooth male voice, turning to meet the star of the show. The gasp lodged in my throat. I didn’t often consider myself to be starstruck, but seeing him this close, I could see the sparkle of his eyes in the darkness of the night. “Not Melly, whoa. You’re a near perfect body double.” He stepped closer wearing an affectionate smile. “What’s your name?” 

“Z-zuri,” I couldn’t help the stuttering. Sean Brown was speaking to me! Me! This was unbelievable. “I’m sorry, you’re like really attractive up close. Wow.”

He chuckled, the corner of his eyes crinkling at the movement. I’m sure if it showed, my cheeks would be burning red. “Thanks for the compliment.” He extended his hand toward me. “Nice to meet you. We should grab a drink sometime.”

My eyes widen the shock very evident in my face. Did.. Is.. Huh? He didn’t wait for my response, instead he took out a pen and scribbled his number in the palm of my hand. 

“I’ll be sitting by the phone like a 1950s housewife, don’t disappoint me Zuri. I’m never this easily captivated.” He winked then walked away.

【Ｐｒｅｓｅｎｔ　Ｄａｙ】

What a massive lie. If I knew back then what I knew now how different would my life had been? Would I still have scars on my heart? Would I still be missing a rib? A master manipulator. He orchestrated the whole thing. He already knew who I was. Not this time. No, this time he didn’t know me. He wouldn’t know me. Two and a half years of who I was is not who I am. Ego be damned. 

“I do remember seeing him in passing, but I’ve never met him personally.” The million dollar smile is plastered on my mauve coated lips, I turned to face those stormy eyes. The brief flicker of surprise in his gaze. “Nice to officially meet you, Mr. Brown. I’m Zuri Dubois.. I must say, I never imagined that I would ever have the opportunity to work alongside you.”

The tension was thick in the air. He still had the tick in his jaw when he fought his annoyance. Finally, he spoke.. “When I saw that you were the female lead, I had to throw my hat in the ring. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Zuri Dubois.”

You could do this Zuri, you can film this movie. You’re an actress.

Lights. Camera. Action. 

[sometimes-surveys]

31.

What’s the ultimate cake topping? - Just frosting.

Do you prefer to wash in the mornings or evenings? - In the evenings. Taking a shower at night helps me wind down.

Have you ever walked into a wall? - I'm sure I have.

Do you prefer vertical or horizontal stripes? - I like horizontal stripes.

Can you name all 50 American states? - I'm going to say maybe. I'm sure if I sat down to list them, I'll probably miss a few.

Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? - Nope.

What makes you nervous? - A lot of things. Haven't you met my friend Anxiety?

Are you ticklish? - Nah, I hate being tickled though. It definitely doesn't make me laugh.

Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails? - No.

Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol? - No.

Is it criminal to wear socks with sandals? - Nah, wear whatever you want.

If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? - I guess I'd follow in my father's footsteps and join the United States Air Force.

If you swapped genders for a day, how would you spend it? - Probably doing the same stuff I do now. But, I mean, let's get serious...I gotta try it at least once, haha.

Have you ever starred in a school play? - No.

What historical period would you like to live in if you could go back in time? - I've always wished that I was a teenager during the 90s. So, I'd go back in time and be an adult in the 90s.

Have you ever been to see stand up comedy? - Yes.

Have you ever needed stitches? - I don't think so, maybe. I can't remember. I know when I was a kid, I fell out of a tree and bit into my tongue...but I can't remember if I got stitches for it.

Do you ever laugh at things you shouldn’t? - Sometimes.

Have you ever been in a submarine? - No.

What would you do if someone proposed to you tomorrow? - I'd be weirded out, everyone I know knows I'm married.

How high can you jump? - With a running start, surprisingly high for someone who isn't that tall and is fat, haha.

Which fictional character do you wish was real? - Nightcrawler from X-Men!

Do you like vanilla or chocolate? - Both.

Do you think Barbie is a negative role model for young girls? - It's a doll. But, I guess body wise, it's impossible to look like her and some kids may love her just for that reason. I think that's something parents should explain to kids. I think they have different kinds of dolls these days; something for every body type and functionality.

Do you prefer Honey or Jam? - Jam. I only use honey in tea and I only drink tea with honey when I'm sick.

Do you read a daily newspaper? - No.

Do you own a lava lamp? - No.

Have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna? - A hot tub, yes. Not a sauna.

Have you ever had chicken pox? - Yes, I actually have, haha. I'm laughing because when the kid I cared for got them from the vaccine, I told the people I worked for I never had them so I couldn't be around him until he was no longer contagious. My mom told me I had them and this whole time it was actually my brother who never had them. I knew it was one of us. Oh well, it was worth the week paid vacation they honestly owed me, haha.

Do you believe there used to be dragons? - I go back and forth on this, I suppose. I mean it's not something I often think about, but dinosaurs are very close to dragons (at least the way dragons are depicted in books and tv/movies), so who am I to say that any of the fossils and bones of flying dinosaurs scientists have found/studied didn't belong to anything that breathed fire? We only know what we know because that's what scientists share, but what if they're not sharing all of it? I don't know, haha. I'm rambling, don't listen to me, I'm a wee bit crazy.

Who would you want to be with on a desert island? - My husband.

What’s the worst show on television? - I don't watch enough television to make that call.

Who’s your favorite god from ancient history? - Oh! Hypnos, the Greek god of sleep. I had this whole story I wrote that I wanted to turn into a comic with a friend that was into mythology. She knew more than I did and we were supposed to collaborate but it never happened. Basically, in the story, Hypnos never slept because it was his job to put everyone else to sleep. Fed up and wanting to dream as well, he refused to put anyone to sleep and vanished. A potion maker ends up making the substitute for sleep and the recipe lives on and on and so present day, we all know about this potion. It's on the shelf of every drug store, blah blah blah. But finally, Hypnos returns, and maddened by the fact that he's been 100% replaced, he terrorizes people by causing awful nightmares. I don't know, I was like...in seventh grade. This sounded cool to me then, haha. Typing this all out now, it seems pretty dumb. But it's based on a story I had to write for English/Literature class and my friend liked it, so we were supposed to make the comic together.

What was the last present you received? - A Halloween Squishmallow from my husband.

Could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship? - For sake of the question, let's say I'm not married. The answer is no, though. I love kids. I've made a career caring for them and watching them grow. I think they are mostly wonderful. BUT! I am a very introverted person and I need time alone. The second best thing about my job as a nanny is getting to leave at the end of the day, and coming home to a quiet and clean home. If the person and I ended up married, that would mean I was no longer childfree and I really love my lifestyle choice of being so.

What was your first alcoholic drink? - Oh jeez, it was Absolut vodka, mixed with pink lemonade and Mountain Dew. We were young and stupid and didn't know what we were doing, but that shit was pretty good. I'm sure if I tried it today, it would probably taste gross.

Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? - New York City.

What was your first detention for? - Not doing my homework.

Who was your first kiss? - Either my first boyfriend or another guy that would be my boyfriend later on. I really can't remember what came first, haha.

What was the first film you remember seeing at the cinema? - I can't remember. I really wanna say it was Dumb and Dumber, but I'm not sure.

What nicknames do you have/have had? - My husband calls me Baby, Babe, or Batz. My family calls me K. I'm rarely called my actual birth name.

Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? - Yeah, a half cougar-half boy named Phil, haha.

Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? - Yes.

Have you ever carved a pumpkin? - Yes! We did last year. It made me break out in hives, haha. I want to do it again, but I need to wear better protection. I have to find some long gloves or just wear long sleeve. And we need to do it outside; that shit was everywhere and we were finding bits of pumpkin around the kitchen for at least a week or so after.

Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid? - No.

Do you plan to vote in the next election? - Yes.

Have you ever appeared on YouTube? - No.

Have you ever been on radio? - No.

Do you bite your nails? - No, I used to be a long time ago. Honestly, it was a harder habit to break than smoking.

Are you much of an adventurer? - Not really. I like what's familiar.

Do you like your own name? - Sure, it's a mouthful, but I've learned to love it over the years.

How long has your longest ever phone call been? - Probably around seven or eight hours. It was the summer after my 9th grade year, I had a fling with this guy that would call around 11pm almost every night, after my parents went to sleep. And we'd stay on the phone until the morning. His name was Matt, and he wrote songs and performed them to me over the phone. We mostly just talked about music. We met in summer school and he went to a different school than I did once the new year started.

Have you ever stolen anything? - Not on purpose. Now I know what you're thinking, haha, how do I steal something on accident? Well, I was like seven or eight, and my mom left me in the arts and crafts section of Walmart. I saw this string of star shaped beads and a fake flower that I wanted to show my mom. I put them in my pocket and went to go find her, got side tracked, and then forgot they were in my coat pocket. I remember the next morning, my mom went in my pocket to get my gloves (I always put them there when I came home so I always knew where they were), and pulled the two items out. I was mortified. I even begged to go back to the store and pay for the items with the change in my piggybank, but my mom just sent them back to the store via my dad (he worked there). She was so mad, one, because she thought I stole and she taught us better than that, and two, because I couldn't recall where I put my gloves! Haha. I look back on this story and laugh. I'm too much of an anxious mess to steal anything.

Could you ever have an affair with a married person? - Not somebody married, no. I will admit to being the "other woman" when I was a teenager, though. We weren't having sex or anything, but an ex of mine was dating someone else, but would still come over to my house and we'd makeout and whatnot. I know it wasn't a good thing to do, because I wouldn't want someone doing it to me, but I still had feelings for him and didn't care.

Could you ever split up a couple for one reason or another? - No.

Do you get hayfever? - I do, but I take an allergy pill just about everyday.

Have you ever planted a tree? - I have.

Do you believe in karma? - I do, but sometimes I doubt it when I see bad things happening to good people.

Which celebrity do you find the most annoying? - I don't really pay attention to celebrities that much to have that kind of opinion.

If you discovered a new species of dinosaur, what would you call it? - Hmm. I don't know.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Hello! I saw a post that said your prompts are open, but if they’re not yet, please don’t worry about this. Anyway, if you’re interested, please take this ‘Wen Ruohan appoints Lan Wangji his next heir with being 1) impressed by him, or 2) bested by him’ Lan Wangji is less than thrilled about this

Modern AU

“I hate this,” Wei Wuxian grumbled. “This is so dumb.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to enjoy being kidnapped,” Jiang Cheng said, his arms crossed over his chest. He was scowling. He hadn’t stopped scowling. Nobody blamed him one bit. “It’s not like it’s something that gets advertised in travel brochures or anything.”

“Listen, if it was like in the movies, it’d be one thing,” Wei Wuxian argued back. Lan Wangji suspected he was just arguing in order to hear himself speak, but since Lan Wangji also enjoyed hearing him speak, he didn’t mind. “Getting snatched into a van! Taken to a mysterious secondary location via plane! Villain monologues! Handcuffs! Zipties! Ropes! Chains!”

Lan Wangji wondered if Wei Wuxian had a thing for bondage. He would be okay with that.

Very okay with that.

“Wei Wuxian…” Jiang Cheng started.

“But noooooo, we don’t get jungles or the ‘most dangerous game’ or sexy people in skimpy swimsuits –”

Lan Wangji had a bathing suit. It wasn’t that skimpy, though.

“- we just get kidnapped by a deranged politician who’s decided that the best way to figure out who deserves to be his heir is via a stupid reality show!”

“I think it’s based on the Apprentice,” Nie Huaisang said from where he was sitting. “Possibly the Bachelor? I actually don’t watch that much reality television.”

“You watch the Great British Bake Off like a fiend,” Jiang Cheng pointed out.

“First, Great British Bake Off doesn’t count. Second, if this was a bake-off, your sister would win, instead of not even being here. Is that what you want?”

Both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian shuddered.

“So, we’re all in agreement that the goal is to lose, right?” Wei Wuxian said. “No one actually wants the job of being Wen Ruohan’s heir, right?”

Nods all around.

“Doesn’t he have kids already?” Jin Zixuan wondered.

“Wen Xu and Wen Chao,” Lan Wangji said shortly.

“…yeah, fair, I’d be looking elsewhere too. They’re pretty awful – dumb and dumber. But surely there’s someone else in the family…?”

“I think they’ve been disowned. Anyway, who would want power if it means putting up with Wen Ruohan?”

Nods all around a second time.

“How will this work?” Nie Huaisang asked. “Are there, like – contests?”

There were.

Stupid ones.

Lan Wangji did his utmost best to mess up the archery competition – archery? In this day and age? – but he wasn’t quite willing to turn around and wildly shoot backwards the way Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng were doing, if only because the possibility of collateral damage made him shudder. He focused his arrows on a small corner just outside the target.

(Nie Huaisang’s arrows impressively did not reach the target even once. When asked how he had managed to pull that off despite being closely monitored to make sure he was actually trying, he proudly pointed to years of practice in fucking up his brother’s efforts at getting him to train.)

Lan Wangji was also incapable of getting a low score in the calligraphy competition, although Nie Huaisang shared in his misfortune there – being an artist did not necessarily translate to good penmanship, but in Nie Huaisang’s case it did – and naturally no one could quite compare to the atrocity that Wei Wuxian had created.

“It’s still recognizable as words, in my view,” Nie Huaisang declared after several minutes of close study. “So it should be fine to submit…you should really consider taking up abstract art, though. It’s quite nice, from that perspective.”

“Thank you,” Wei Wuxian said. “I think. Or was that an insult?”

The mathematics segment was even more disastrous for Lan Wangji – his uncle had brought him up with a strict prohibition against lying, including on test answers – and then they’d brought out music…

They didn’t even give Lan Wangji a chance to sabotage his chance, opting to just play a Youtube clip of one of his public performances on the guqin.

He was very, very good at guqin.

At least they’d done the same for Wei Wuxian and his flute – he ended up getting ranked first in music, even above Lan Wangji – but that wasn’t going to be enough to overcome his middle-of-the-road performances in the other subject.

“I think you’re going to win,” Jiang Cheng told Lan Wangji. “I’m very sorry. Seriously, and without sarcasm: I’m very, very sorry.”

Lan Wangji said nothing, but apparently his face managed to convey his misery effectively enough because Wei Wuxian came over and gave him a hug.

Lan Wangji enjoyed the hug, at least.

“Don’t worry,” Nie Huaisang said. He was fanning himself again – where did he even get a fan? Lan Wangji thought all three of the ones he’d seen Nie Huaisang pull out of his pockets had been confiscated, and surely there was a limit to how many “back-ups” a person plausibly needed – and reclining under the shade, having been thoroughly knocked out of the running during the physical portion of the competition. He hadn’t even had the courtesy to be concerned: he was, as always, secure in his uselessness. “We’ve been here for quite a while, haven’t we? Our families will be along soon enough to pick us up, and then we can forget all this.”

“What if they can’t, though?” Jiang Cheng said, wringing his hands. “I mean, we all hate him, he’s awful, yes, but he still has influence and power, for some unknown reason –”

“I still can’t believe there are people who support him. Least of all nearly half the cultivation world!”

“Less than half. Remember, we just counted.” 

“Yes, yes, I know, but still. Regardless, don’t worry – it’ll be fine.”

“Surely if our families were going to do something, they’d be here already?” Jin Zixuan asked.

Jiang Cheng pointed at him. “See? Even the peacock is worried!”

“Also, what if Wen Ruohan wants to keep Lan Wangji as his heir even after we’re rescued?” Wei Wuxian wanted to know. He looked worried, which Lan Wangji appreciated. “Listen, my future boyfriend and I are not going to live somewhere named something as classless and pretentious as the, and I quote, ‘Nightless City’, okay? I refuse.”

…future boyfriend?

“The Nightless City is a perfectly decent name,” Nie Huaisang said. “For a Bond villain. Which I’m not convinced Wen Ruohan isn’t.”

Boyfriend? As in – romantic partner boyfriend?

“A Bond villain wouldn’t be this stupid,” Jiang Cheng argued.

Wei Ying’s future boyfriend?

“I dunno,” Wei Wuxian said. “There were some real stinkers, especially in the 70s…”

Did he mean Lan Wangji?

“Can we get back on subject?” Jin Zixuan wanted to know. “Lan Wangji is on the verge of being selected to be Wen Ruohan’s heir, and I’m not sure that process doesn’t involve brainwashing at some point.”

Wait, why was it future boyfriend? Couldn’t they be boyfriends now?

“I would fight them first,” Wei Wuxian declared. “All of them. Immediately!”

“Or we could escape. I know the guards took our cell phones, but I pickpocketed Wen Zhuliu’s and the GPS says we’re actually just at a warehouse outside the city.”

“We’d need a distraction, though…”

“How about we release the giant turtle?”

“Wait, that thing in the moat is a turtle? I thought it was a snake.”

“I don’t know why you expect me to know anything about amphibians.”

“It’s not – they’re not even remotely – a snake has no legs! What is wrong with you people?!”

“Unrelated, but has anyone noticed that none of the girls got brought in? Isn’t that sexist?”

“Like Wen Ruohan being sexist is a surprise –”

“I still think we need to do something before he tries to adopt Lan Wangji –”

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” Lan Wangji asked Wei Wuxian, who blinked at him, and then beamed. “Or maybe make out in the corner while everyone’s arguing?”

That seemed like something they’d both enjoy.

It was, too, right up until someone did unleash the giant turtle, at which point it was mostly screaming and splashing and all of their families coming to their rescue at just the right time.

But Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were dating now, so overall, a good experience.

Well, mostly. Wen Ruohan sent him countless letters for the next two months asking him to consider coming back for an internship (to be paid in "experience" and "exposure", of course).

Lan Wangji burned them all.

[celestial-fucking-weeb]

WINTER WARMTH

__________________

Hi, everyone!! This is a part of the Citrus Dome Snowed In collab! I’m so thankful to be a part of this round and super grateful for @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten and @tomurasprincess for letting me be on the masterlist! I’m so excited, but I’m not super proud of this one, so please feel free to give feedback.

Masterlist Here!

Go see everyone’s super awesome fics and art pieces they worked so hard on!!

ART BY @brttpaige on Twitter🖤 Go check out her artwork, she’s fantastic!

Warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, AGED UP (mid twenties), fluff, insecurities, smut, body worship, chubby kink, marking (hickies), Papi kink

Pairing: Sero Hanta x reader

The local news station hailed it as “the storm of the century,” and they weren’t wrong. You’ve watched the snow pile up beyond the window, building from a light dusting on the grass to literal knee-high drifts. And it shows no sign of stopping.

The place you’re stranded is stocked up on groceries, you’d charged every electronic device to your name, and you’d cranked the thermostat as high as it would go until the inevitable happens —

The power goes out.

So now you’re stuck indoors, with only a certain someone for company. The same someone you’ve been pining after for ages. Snow stacks up higher and higher outside. As the cold seeps in, and you both drift closer, you realize this was somehow the one thing you hadn’t thought to prepare for…

The snow outside was pretty at first, but now with the doors and windows to your small cottage-type home half covered, it seemed almost oppressive. With the power outage, there was no television to drown out the quiet, only deafening silence and the movement of your new roommate, Sero Hanta.

It didn’t start this way, you hadn’t always obsessively paid attention to his mannerisms. At one point in time, he was just a hero working for the same agency you provided medical care for. You were just support staff, until a dumb villain thought you were “important” and kidnapped you, leaving the heroes you saw as coworkers to rescue you. After that, the agency wanted you to live in the adjacent apartments, but you refused. Magically, two days later, Sero Hanta approached you asking about your spare room under the guise of his lease running out. You thought it seemed a bit suspicious, particularly that this gorgeous man had “nowhere else to go”, meaning no significant other to take him in. Of course, you agreed, being a nice person and maybe bit naïve. He moved his stuff in, didn’t make much of a fuss, and mostly left you to your own devices. That is, until you noticed some... abnormalities. The lingering glances, the newly installed security cameras, the not-so-subtle ideas to spend time with you of having meals together or watching movies, making sure you’d eaten or slept... He cared too much. He was so perfect- gorgeous, tall, easygoing, had similar goals as a rescue hero, funny, and he cared. He cared for you, which made living with him so much harder. You found yourself enjoying nights with him, wanting to sit a little closer, wanting to impress him with new dishes to make for dinner, ditching your ex’s sweatpants for cute sleep shorts, relishing in fantasies of his protective nature and dominating stature with your hand between your thighs... You thought you were going to choke when he started walking around in only gray sweats or a towel after his shower. You tried your best to keep eye contact, not stick around too long, not encroach upon his comfort in his own house. You failed to notice the smirk on his face when you quickly excused yourself or when you turned away too fast after being caught staring.

Sero had originally taken this as an assignment, although he did have a bit of a crush on you from the times you’d patched him up after rough shifts. He thought of himself as your own personal hero, but that mindset soon turned into more than just an assignment. He was protective over you, and he found himself getting defensive if you even mentioned another guy. He had tried flirting within reason, just making dinners and watching movies, but he got cocky when he had walked past your door one night and heard your little whimpers. He decided to test his theory, wearing his sweats lower than he normally would and walking back to his room in a towel, and delighting in strolling past your room to hear your muffled moans and the vibrations of the toy you never used to use. You were getting desperate, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t boost his ego to hear his name through the walls. This, however, was NOT something he’d planned on.

Everything was fine, being stuck in the house together was nice, until the power went out. The heat somewhat remained in the house until night, when you curled up on the couch under every blanket you had and he layered on an extra hoodie and lounged next to you. He looked cold...

“H-Hey... Sero? Um... You look cold. Do you want a blanket?”

“Hmmm, but then wouldn’t you be cold too?” He chuckled and scratched the back of his neck.

“Well... Maybe... But that’s okay! You need to be warm too!!” God, you’re so sweet.

“I mean... You could always come over here, we can be warm together!” He stretches out his arm and beckons you over, inviting you to curl up next to him. You shift over, spreading the blankets over your roommate and hiding your blushing face under the pile of softness, keeping at least 3 inches of space between you before he rests his arm behind your head.

“Thanks, y/n, this is uh... nice!” He hides his disappointment at your perceived rejection, going back to look at his phone.

After 20 minutes of scrolling, you can’t take it anymore. He smells so good, and you can feel the warmth radiating from his body.

“I’M GONNA GO TO BED NOW. Uh, goodnight!” You basically shouted, too loud to be natural. You abruptly stood up before slightly shrinking from the frigid air. When did it get so cold in here?

“Hey, it’s really cold... We don’t really have a ton of blankets, and I’m worried you’re going to freeze, so maybe we could sleep in my room tonight? Just for, ya know... body heat?” He sounds nervous, like he expects you to freak out and reject him completely.

“Well... I-I guess that’s smart... You’re right. So... Let’s go?” Holy fuck, you are so nervous. You were originally escaping to your room like you normally do, too horny to continue hanging out with Sero and retain your sanity, but now you’re sleeping with him?! What the fuck are you thinking?!

He gathered the blankets and lead you into his room, holding the door for you before plopping down your nest of fabric. You stand awkwardly in the center of the room, waiting for something you have no idea what. Sero unceremoniously strips himself of his hoodies and sweats and climbs into bed, seemingly out of habit, before turning his attention to you and holding the blankets open.

“Are you coming?” He smirks, putting on a confused voice that doesn’t quite match the mischief in his eyes.

“I-...” FUCK, he’s beautiful. Lean muscles flexing with every movement, shaggy hair falling over his face, and holy... The tight black boxers are NOT helping the whole “too turned on to function” situation.

“Oh... Sorry, I read somewhere that skin-to-skin contact is better for warmth. You’d probably know better than me, I guess.” He grins, as though this entire thing is nonchalant and completely normal. “I can help you if you’d like~”

“Uh nope, yeah, you’re right!! I’ll uh just... Can you close your eyes?” You are panicking. Every insecurity you’ve ever had is coming to bite you in the ass. You’re suddenly hyper aware of how much space your body takes up, remembering everything those stupid bitches in high school said about you.

“Y/n, you’ve seen me in that skin tight hero suit and you’ve patched up most of my body. It’s totally fine! PLUS, you’re sleeping in my bed, am I gonna have to close my eyes the whole night??” He jokes, not knowing that your shyness isn’t rooted in principle, but fear. Upon seeing your face, his smile falters and he autocorrects, “You know, I think you’re beautiful, but if you want me to turn around, I promise I will.”

“No, it’s-it’s fine. It’s okay. Wait- did you just call me beautiful?” You try to cover your shocked expression as you take off your sweater and slide off your fuzzy pajama pants. Sero is thankful your head is stuck in your sweater as his jaw practically drops. Oh fuck, he’s screwed. His eyes follow your curves from your chest, down your sides, to the pouch of your tummy and the plump fullness of your thighs... If he thought he was having trouble focusing before, there’s no way there’s gonna be enough blood in his brain when you’re half naked next to him... Speaking of... Shit, he’s hard... Okay, it’s fine, just tuck it in your waistband like you did back in school...

You climb into bed as quickly as you can, still keeping a few inches between you and Sero until he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest. You squeak in surprise and he chuckles, “You can’t be warm unless you’re over here! C’mere.” He nestles his face into your hair and splays a hand across the curve of your lower back. Feeling very naked and very nervous, you shift in his hold and snuggle closer to the heat he gives off, but halt your motions when you feel him twitch against your thigh. Neither of you are breathing, praying the other didn’t notice the rock hard length pressed between your bodies. Somehow, in the time you spent essentially playing dead, you both fell asleep cuddled together.

Over the course of the night, you had shifted to straddle your leg over his torso and he had turned on his back with his hand resting on the space between your thigh and your butt. Sero was the first to stir from his slumber when he felt you move against him, a small whine escaping your parted lips as your hips rolled against his. Oh... OH... Is y/n-? oh fuck y/n is dreaming... and grinding on me... fuck, this shouldn’t feel so good... He tries his hardest to go back to sleep, but the feeling of your sleeping body brushing up against his cock keeps him wide awake. He was trying to stay perfectly still until he heard your tiny whisper “Hanta~”... His hips involuntarily thrust, drawing out the most sinful moan from your throat as the head of his dick added friction on your clit that woke you up. You start to move away, embarrassed and hoping to check that he’s still asleep, but Sero’s grip tightens around your thigh and presses you harder onto him.

“Good morning to you, too~... If you needed my help getting off, you could’ve just asked, babygirl~” The lust and sleep clouding his voiced, combined with the steady roll of his hips makes you whimper and tuck your face into his neck.

“Awww so shy~ You were moaning my name earlier. Why don’t we see how loud I can make you, princess?” He speaks lowly as he flips you onto your back, hovering over you.

“I- I... Please.” You breathe wrapping your legs around his waist and stare up at him, wiggling your hips and sliding your hands up his biceps.

“Can I- Can I kiss you? Are you sure you want this? I’ve had feelings for you since before I moved in and I just... I never want to hurt you.” Cupping your cheek and searching your face for any hesitation, Sero starts succumbing to his own insecurities. He never wants to hurt you, and he knows he isn’t the flashy hero some of his friends seem to be... He needs to hear you say it.

“Sero... Yes~. I want you, please kiss me... I feel the same way. Please~...” Upon hearing your confession, Sero slotted his lips against yours. The kiss was sweet, gentle. Breathing each other in felt so right, so natural, and you followed his lead when he slid his hold to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. His hand drifted down, following the curve of your breasts, tracing your sides and resting on the pouch of your tummy. Just as you were starting to feel self conscious, Sero groans and moves to kiss your neck, mumbling “You’re so beautiful, y/n. Fuck, so perfect. You feel so soft, I need you so bad~” The whimper he draws from you when he sucks a deep mark into the column of your throat is absolutely lewd, you can barely believe it came from you. He kisses his way down your body, leaving hickies along your skin and squeezing every inch he can get his hands on. You look down at him, his eyes dark with lust and admiration as he leaves opened mouthed kisses along your inner thighs, making you more needy than you thought possible. He strokes his thumb along your clothed slit and moans at your wetness.

“Fuck- you’re so wet for me, angel. I want to taste you, you’re so cute like this. Let’s take these off, yeah?” He looks to you and hooks his fingers under the waistband of your panties, asking for permission and grinning like an idiot when you lift your hips to help him. Before you can say anything, he’s prying your legs open and diving in, moaning as he laps your slit and sucks your clit into his mouth. You run your fingers through his hair and grip him, pulling him into you and grinding against his face. His groans send vibrations straight to your core, pinning your hips with one arm and sliding two fingers into your dripping cunt.

“M-more!! Oh god, please Sero, just like that- I want more!” You moan so prettily for him, but he wants something more. He releases your clit with a pop and leans up, stilling his fingers inside you and wrapping his free hand around your neck. The pressure and dominance has you clenching around his fingers, and he takes notice.

“You either call me Hanta or Papi, nothing else. You understand? I want you to say my name when you cum.” He commands, and sends a shiver down your spine. “Oh you like that, huh?~ I can feel you squeezing my fingers. Why don’t you tell me what you want, baby?~”

Your brain goes hazy when he leans in and places little love bites on your neck and collarbones. “PAPI~! Yes, I love it! Please fuck me, I want to feel you, I need moreee~” You pant as he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you unbearably empty.

“Oh baby, I’ll fill you up, don’t worry. But first, why don’t you suck my cock?~” He strips himself of his boxers and flips the two of you, pulling you on top of him. He’s so long, just thick enough to stretch you and reach every amazing spot inside of you. The sight of his hard length has you drooling, anticipating feeling the weight of him on your tongue. You give the head a few kitten licks, relishing in the way he groans and twitches in your hand. He laces his fingers at the base of your head and lets you set your own pace, wrapping your plush lips around him. Bobbing your head up and down, running your tongue along the vein on the underside of his dick and swirling it around the head- you love seeing his reactions. The way his breathing increases and his hips buck when you hollow your cheeks. He looks so pretty like this, you can’t help but rub your thighs together for some kind of friction. Luckily, he notices how desperate you’ve gotten and pulls you up to straddle him with one hand still on your hair and the other gripping your hip, calloused fingers digging in and massaging the fat there.

“As much as I want to cum in that perfect little mouth, I think my baby needs to be filled, yeah?” He fists his cock and strokes the head through your wetness, gathering your slick and making you involuntarily grind against him. “Beg for my cock, babygirl~, tell Papi what you want.” The smirk on his face is utterly sinful, teasing you and enjoying the fucked out expression on your beautiful face.

“PLEASE I want your cock, I wanna be full, just fuck me already!!! Please stop teasing me Hantaaa~” Just as you grind your hips down onto him, he thrusts into you, cutting off your pleading with a needy moan. “Ah~ fuck- so full, so full, oh my god! Yes Papi~!”

“Oh shit angel, fuck- you feel so good.” Hanta grabs your hips and helps you slowly fuck yourself on him, “Just like that, baby, just like that. Ride my fucking cock. Fuck- you’re so tight...”

The dirty talk pouring out of Hanta’s mouth, combined with the stretch of his hot length stirring up your insides, you find yourself embarrassingly close to climax already. Your first orgasm hits you like a train, completely knocking the air out of your lungs and causing you to collapse onto Hanta’s chest. He seizes the opportunity to flip the two of you, holding you underneath him and fucking you into the mattress.

“Ah ah ahhhhh~ Hantaaa~ I can’t! I can’t, I just came, it’s too much!!! oh FUCK Papi!!!” You feel the tears welling up in your eyes from the overstimulation and pleasure.

“Yes you can, babygirl. You’re taking me so well, you’re such a good girl. I know you love it, I can feel your pussy flutter around me. So honest, angel. You’re so perfect like this- fuck.” Hanta grips the back of your thighs and pushes your knees to the bed, hitting even deeper within you. The head of his cock kisses your cervix with every thrust and makes you scream out, nails digging into his back, and egging him on.

“Come on, mi amor, cum with me. I know you can, I can tell you’re so fucking close... Cum on my cock, that’s right. Cum for me.” His long fingers reach down and rub quick circles on your clit. He leans in to sink his teeth into the junction of your neck and your shoulder, sending you over the edge into your climax. Your vision goes white and you clamp down around him, cunt spasming as you squirt all over his thighs and abs.

“F-fuck!!! That’s so fucking hot~ I’m gonna- Ah~” He fills you to the brim with his sticky release, the warmth spreading through your core and coating your walls. Hanta releases your legs and lays on top of you, sweaty bodies pressed together until he comes down from his high.

“That was so amazing, angel. You were so good for me. Such a pretty baby, all mine...” He pulls back to kiss your temple and rolls over, petting your hair and lightly scratching your back.

“You have no idea how happy that makes me... I always want to be yours.” You giggle, bubbly at his claim on you and still buzzing from your high. You curl up into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist and holding him close. “Mine.”

“Mmhmm, all yours.” He breathes a chuckle and places a kiss to your hairline. “I’m glad I can warm you up, lovebug.” He smiles as your breathing evens out, falling asleep with you in his arms.

[dadsbongos]

collection of fun :) (not porn)

Movie/Game/Show: Marvel Dynamic: Avengers/Reader (Bucky, Sam, Steve, Thor, Scott :) ) Warnings: some au where everyone’s in the compound and happy(ish) because :), Summary: a general collection of blurbs (not single story line) about the avengers/you Word Count: 1K ~~~

Bucky Barnes:

“I’m still not over that time you ripped out my steering wheel,” Sam shook his head, “I just paid off my car and then - boom! - you rip out my steering wheel.”

“I what?” Bucky’s eyes widened at the claim.

“Yeah,” Natasha nodded, poking at the man’s arm, “Shot me once, and you nearly strangled me another time.”

“I- “ the man looks between the two before his eyes land on you, “Did I- did I ever hurt you?”

“Well, yeah, when you were the Winter Soldier,” you shrug off, “Stabbed me a few times.”

“I stabbed you?!” he shoots up from his seat, “You never told me that!”

“I said the scars were stab wounds.”

“But not that they were from me!”

You purse your lips, “Aw, Buck, it wasn’t actually you, I know that.”

“Well, yeah, but- “ he sighs and sits back down beside you, slumping into the cushion, ”I feel like such an ass.”

“A dick, even?”

“Sam,” you chided while smacking the man’s shoulder before turning back to your guilt-wracked boyfriend, “Buck, it’s okay. Tony ended up covering the payments on Sam’s car, Nat’s still alive, and I’m fine. Tony’s bitter about the whole orphaning him thing but I’m sure eventually he’ll be okay. In a long while.”

“Oh God,” Bucky falls forward to put his head in his hands, elbows perched on his knees, “I don’t remember any of that.”

“Like how you don’t remember breaking Steve’s nose a second time?” Sam suddenly pitched in.

“What?” Bucky looked downright distraught by this point, hands tangled through his hair, “I broke his nose? More than once?”

“No,” you were immediate to jump in, rubbing your beau’s back, “No, you didn’t, Sam’s just being mean.”

“But he was involved in the killing of Lincoln.”

Surely, you figured, there was no way Bucky would believe that - it was way before he’d even been born let alone when he would be the Winter Soldier.

But, to your surprise, Bucky didn’t refute the statement, instead looking up to you with tears nearly coming over him, “Was… was I…?”

---

“Hey,” you turn to Tony, “I think I’m gonna take Bucky home.”

Tony shakes his head, waving you off, “He’s fine.”

Bucky is quick to prove Tony wrong when he approaches you with wide eyes, “Doll, we gotta go, everyone here is being weird and invasive.”

“Hey,” an unfamiliar blond comes up with a bright, friendly smile, “what’s your name?”

“What are you? A cop?” Bucky grumbles, glaring at the poor woman before turning back to you, “We have to go.”

/

Sam Wilson:

Getting classified as an enemy of SHIELD alongside Captain America and Black Widow was never something you planned when coming into the organization. However, as you watch Natasha straighten her hair at the guest room vanity, you find something to distract from that predicament.

“What’s on your mind?” Natasha raises a brow.

You shake your head, “Sam doesn’t have any hair, right?”

“Not that I’ve really noticed, why?”

“You’re using a straightener, are you not?”

“Oh, yeah,” Natasha hums, turning completely to look at Steve on the bed, “Do you think Sam just has straighteners to make people comfortable?”

“I do,” a voice suddenly cuts in after a few knocks, Sam leans into the room while holding a few towels, “Just if you guys need anymore.”

“Oh wow,” you murmur as Steve takes the towels, “Nicest guy in the world and we just turned him into a criminal.”

/

Steve Rogers:

“Leave him alone!” Bucky’s charging into the alley as you shout at the assailants.

You rush over to Steve’s side while your brother deals with the boys previously laying in on the smaller man.

“Oh, Stevie, they really got you, didn’t they?” you take a corner of your skirt and gently dab at the bloodied skin under his nose and at the corners of his mouth, “You can’t always go around picking fights like this - I worry about you, you know?”

“Don’t underestimate me,” Steve huffs, swiping away at your hands and struggling to a stand.

“I couldn’t possibly,” you grin, one that Steve’s almost compelled to take as genuine.

The beginnings of a smile fall from the poor blond’s lips, “Stop, I almost took that as a compliment.”

---

“Oh, gosh,” Steve huffs, shaking his head as he bends over to pick up his item, “dropped my pen.”

“What are you? A cartoon dad? Just say ‘shit’,” you narrow your eyes at the captain.

Steve merely purses his lips before pointing at you, “Swearing is for serious situations. Besides, with you and Peter on the team now, I think the adults should mind their language. Speaking of which, watch yours.”

Natasha raises a brow as you watch Steve exit the common room with wide eyes, “Inspired by his speech or something?”

Your lips curl into a broad grin, “One day I’m gonna make him say ‘fuck’.”

/

Thor Odinson:

“And one last question before we wrap this up!”

Interviews were far from Thor’s forte - for as much as he loved being admired, he really hated being poked and prodded on television.

“Is this young heroine behind you - your daughter?”

Thor lights up at the line, looking over at you with a broad grin.

The woman shakes her head, “Sorry, that was a joke- “

“Yes!” Thor exclaims, looping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side, “This is my daughter!”

“What’re you talking about, man? You’re my coworker!” you shove at his side, “My mom doesn’t even know you personally!”

“My daughter is a wonder in critical thinking, it’s something her uncle taught her,” Thor nods, patting your head, “My daughter is very smart.”

“Wait, really?” the woman pushes her mic closer to your faces.

“Yes!” Thor cheers at the same time you shout, “No!”

/

Scott Lang:

“Dad, is this really necessary?”

“Between the divorce and the Blip, I missed too many of your milestones,” Scott muttered, hands on the back of a bike he borrowed from a neighbor, “Now I just have to make up for it.”

You begin pedaling and shortly after you get your balance, Scott shoves you off which, naturally, leads to you falling over. Scott and Hope both rush over to help you up, Hope shaking her head as she speaks,

“You’re supposed to let her catch speed first, Scott.”

“Well, that’s good knowledge for next time,” Scott smiles, turning and pointing over at your sister, “You’re next, Cassie!”

[redrisingsun]

Swedish Holidays for all your Young Royals needs

Due to popular demand (by like five people) here’s a brief description of all the major Swedish holidays and how they’re celebrated because I can’t stand here and pretend as if we really celebrate Christmas the 25th. We have more holidays, I've only written about the ones we celebrate in my family. I come from a working class family and live in Southern Sweden, however I do have family in Stockholm. I'm not religious in any way and as far as I know, most families don't celebrate these holidays because they're religious, but because it's tradition.

yall better appreciate this, it took me literal hours

January

1: Dubbed as one of the collective pizza days in my household. It's the day after New Year, and most people either order in or eat leftovers.

Week 2 or 3: Most people return to their jobs, schools and other daily activities.

February/March

Fettisdagen ("Fat Tuesday"): celebrated 47 days before Easter. The actual date varies, all from early February to early March. It's an old Christian tradition where you'd eat fatty foods before the "before Easter"-fast and is supposedly a thing in other Christian countries as well. These days, most people celebrate by eating semlor with their family, and most don't fast before Easter.

The semla is a sweet bun with whipped cream and almond paste.

Våffeldagen (Waffle Day, 25th of March): I think this day stems from a Christian tradition, but these days the day is mostly to get together with family and eat waffles.

April

Påsk (Easter): Again, the date varies, but Easter is usually in April. Easter stems from Christianity and is celebrated to remember Jesus' death and resurrection. Easter spans over a week, but I personally only celebrate one of those days.

Påskafton (direct translation: Easter Eve, English translation: Holy Saturday) is the Saturday of the Easter week. In my family, the children get to look for Easter eggs (often filled with candy).

Some children also dress up as Påskkärringar (Easter crones) and I think this tradition has to do with the Witch Trials in Sweden, but I'm not sure. Chances are you won't need to know anything about this for your Young Royal fics, because mostly girls dress up.

Sometimes, we decorate eggs.

Later, we sit down to eat together and spend time with our families. Common things to eat for Easter is potatoes, eggs, herring and meatballs.

Valborgsmässoafton (Walpurgis Night, 30th): We burn a big bonfire in the evening to celebrate that spring is here. I live in a fairly small town, so mostly everyone gathers at one spot and burns the fire together. When the bonfire is burned, most people go home and that's it. It's also seen as a reason to have a party (mostly for teenagers and young adults, I think) and get drunk as fuck.

May/June

Sveriges Nationaldagen (Sweden's National Day, 6th of June): Most people are home from school and work. We hoist the Swedish flag. Idk. However, the Royal Family celebrates by getting dressed up in Swedish costumes. This year, the King held a speech and the family went to Skansen (which is an amusement park/zoo. You can read more about it here). There's music and the military does their weird little thing. You can watch the National Day Celebration on Skansen from 2014 here.

Midsommarafton (Midsummer): date varies, but is celebrated a Friday in late June. I'm sure there's a Christian explanation for this one, but I don't personally know it.

Midsommar (midsummer) means middle of the summer.

Again, this is a day to eat and spend time with your family (or drink, depending on who you are). We eat pretty much the same things for Midsummer as we do for Easter.

For Midsummer we also dance around a Midsommarstång (direct translation: Midsummer Pole, English translation: Maypole) and make flower crowns.

How Midsummer is celebrated depends a lot on your age (most teenagers and young adults again see this as a reason to party), where you're from and a million other things.

My personal favorite Midsummer tradition is probably more common in the country than in the city, for example. You're supposed to pick seven different flowers without saying a word. Then, you sleep with the flowers under your pillow. Supposedly, you'll dream of your future husband (or wife! But I think it's more common that women and girls do this). This tradition also varies. Some people say you need nine flowers and some people say you have to climb over fencing for it to count.

Some teenagers or young adults spend time with their friends to party, instead!

You can watch part of a Midsummer celebration at Skansen here.

The Royal Family usually celebrate Midsummer privately, but I think there's usually new pictures of the entire family around this time.

Day after Midsummer: Collective Pizza Day 2. Everyone either eats takeout or leftovers because no one can be bothered to make anything and like half of the population has the worst hangover they've had since New Year.

Summer Holiday Note: most people in Sweden have four weeks of paid leave each summer.

July/August

Kräftpremiär (Crayfish party) - date varies, normally early August. Basically people get together to eat crayfish and drink. You can usually get paper plates and plastic cups and whatever with ugly crayfish motives (which is fun), but I've never done this.

October

Halloween (30th): Halloween is nowhere near as big in Sweden as it is in the States. We just buy some lösgodis ("loose candy", where you can throw whatever kind of candy you want in a bag. See pictures). Trick or treat is so unusual in the town I grew up I've only ever had one kid ask for candy and when I celebrated Halloween with my grandparents (in a city not far from Stockholm), it was the same. I usually buy some candy and watch a horror movie, but that's about it.

However, Halloween is (again) a reason for teenagers and young adults to drink and party.

November

Alla Helgons Dag (All Saints' Day): Date varies, usually early November. It's a day to remember the dead and we usually light a candle at the grave yard.

December

Första Advent (First Advent): Date varies. Sunday four weeks from Christmas Eve. We mostly just light a candle, honestly. Then, each Sunday for the next four weeks, we light a candle. Here's actually the Crown Princess wishing Happy First Advent with her family! Unfortunately without English subtitles, but here's the translation: "Today is the First Advent. Advent means arrival and hope, something that feels extra important this year. (her husband lights the candle) We want to wish everyone a happy first advent!"

Andra Advent (Second Advent): date varies. We light the second candle.

Tredje Advent (Third Advent): date varies. We light the third candle.

Fjärde Advent (Fourth Advent): date varies. We light the fourth candle. In my family we usually decorate the tree this Sunday.

Julafton (Christmas Eve): Celebrated the 24th. YES, THE 24TH. Christmas Eve obviously varies from family to family, but there's a few things most people have in common. Usually, we get one gift in our sock (which hangs on our bedroom doors in my home, because we don't have a mantle) when we wake up. As kids me and my brother almost always got a movie or something to keep us busy until it was time to leave for our grandparents house.

For lunch we eat the Christmas dinner. It's the same damned food as our other holidays. Herring, meatballs, potatoes, sausages etc, but now, we also have julskinka (Christmas ham). Some people eat ham even for Easter, but we only really eat it for Christmas in my family. Obviously the food varies a little from season to season, but as a picky eater I always just eat potatoes, meatballs and ham.

At 3, Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) is on. Yeah, we watch the same damned stuff every year. It's tradition, alright? Anyway, Donald Duck lasts for an hour or so, and first you get to see Santa work in his workshop, then Disney characters wish you a Merry Christmas with scenes from their movies (original, I know). There's Lady and the Tramp, Donald Duck (obviously) and a million other things. Then there's also one or two trailers for movies Disney will release the coming year. I really couldn't be bothered to find everything on YouTube for you to watch, sorry!

After Donald Duck, we open the Christmas gifts in my family. Normally we just rip out gifts open lmao.

After opening the gifts, we usually eat a second time. This time it's time for porridge. Tomtegröt (Santa porridge) is sweet and often served with cinnamon. Usually, everyone is so stuffed at this point that you only eat because you "have" to eat porridge for Christmas (again, at least in my family).

The last thing we do in my family, is to get a puzzle out. My grandpa almost always gets a new puzzle for Christmas, so we'll put that on the dining table and work on it together until it's getting too late for us to stay.

The Royal Family usually release new pictures of the family for Christmas and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Day after Christmas: Not a collective pizza day! There's usually too much Christmas food left to be able to order pizza. Usually, we have Christmas food to eat for four-ish days after Christmas, and by then you're getting really tired of it.

Sometimes we watch something on television, but for the most part we just sit around and spend time together. I think the Crown Princess read something from the Bible this year? I'm not actually sure if the Royal Family go to the Christmas Service, but I don't think so.

Nyårsafton (New Year's Eve): last day of the year. We shoot fireworks, eat food and dessert and spend time with family. This day we normally eat something "fancy" or something you we don't usually eat.

At twelve, we go out to light some fireworks (or just watch fireworks). When that dies down, it's time for the cheese platter. My dad wants it, no one else ever eats from it, we still do it every single year because "it's not New Year's without it". When we've had the cheese platter, everyone go to sleep and that's that.

People obviously celebrate this differently, as well. It's not uncommon to go see your friends or have guests over, and some people party rather than have fancy dinner with their parents. I personally prefer spending time with my parents, because that's what New Year's is for me.

Some people give resolutions, but I think it's more common in the States.

Christmas Holiday Note: It's common for people to not work between Christmas and New Year's Eve where I'm from.

Some things you might want to know about the Swedish Royal Family and Sweden overall:

The Royal Family in Young Royals is not the real Royal Family (obviously).

The Royal Family usually spends time on Öland during the summers.

Chances are Wilhelm and his family live at Drottningholm Slott (Drottningholm Palace) and not Stockholm Slott (Stockholm Palace). Drottningholm is used as a home for the current King and Queen and is located west of Stockholm. However, the scenes where Wilhelm is home is shot at a palace called Stora Sundby Slott. I doubt Wilhelm and his family would live here if they were the actual Royal Family since it's used as a place for people to gather when they want to hunt for sport. However, if they truly live at Stora Sundby, it takes almost two hours to drive from Stockholm to the castle.

Bjärstad is AT LEAST two hours away from Stockholm.

Bjärstad to Stora Sundby Castle takes approximately an hour and a half by car, and between nine and twelve hours by bus. Which means these two boys can't just take a twenty minute bus to see each other.

Bjärstad to Drottningholm takes a little over two hours by car and four-ish hours by bus.

Bjärstad to Stockholm Slott takes over two hours by car and three and a half hours by bus.

Hillerska is shot at Kaggeholms Slott (Kaggeholm Palace), and is a hotel.

The age of consent in Sweden is 15, HOWEVER it's illegal to have sex with someone four or more years younger than you if you're not both over the age of 18. Let me illustrate: -Person A is 15 and Person B is 15. It's legal because both are 15. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 20. It's illegal, because there's a five year old gap between them. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 18. It's legal (but probably frowned upon), because they're both 15 or older and there's not a four year gap between them. -Person A is 18 and Person B is 30. It's legal, because both are 18 or older. Idk if this makes sense or if this is what it looks like anymore, but this is what it was like when I still went to school. Obviously people aren't going to run around and call you names if you happen to date someone four years younger than you (I know a girl who met a guy when she was 14 and he was over 20), but please, be mindful of this. Our age of consent doesn't give you a right to be weird and nasty to teenagers (yes, I'm talking about Edvin).

Also, the Royal Family have their own website, which you can find here. As far as I can see, there's more information on the Swedish page, but there's plenty translated to English. You can also read of the Swedish Royal Family and its history on the palaces's website, here.

All pictures have been taken straight from Google. I haven't used any sources, because this is shit I do every single year with my family. Feel free to correct me or add things you do, but keep it respectful, please!

Friendly reminder that I've simplified some parts of this to make sense, specifically the dates of the Advent celebrations.

If there's anything you don't understand or want more information on, you're welcome to contact me! I take pretty long to reply, but I'll definitely try to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you!

[jenomark]

➔Pairing: Haechan x Reader (Female)  ➔Other Members/ Characters: -.- ➔Genre: Fluff ➔Warnings: Angst | Mentions of death | Cursing ➔Word count: 6,865

➔Summary: He was always yours, even before you wrote a book about him, even before he disappeared from your life after high school, and even before he broke his promise. 

➔Request: can I request a drabble of haechan friends to lovers? 🥺

➔ I hope you don’t mind that I turned this into a longer story that is more on the fluff side. I felt really inspired to do so. Thanks for sending in the request! 💚

You

  You hated school. Not because you weren’t serious about your studies. You liked the subjects well enough. You liked eating lunch at a table, a little package of apple slices, and a chocolate milk that always tasted like the carton it was in. You liked hanging up your coat in the coat closet, little rain droplets dripping on the wooden floor when the weather was bad. You liked your teachers and how they would encourage your love of reading. You liked all the things to like except one: school hours meant time away from him.

  Him. He pulled your hair sometimes when he was bored. You cried once, your mother saying something sexist about how he must like you. Your father never paid attention, just kept watching the television. You wondered if all boys were that stupid. He also made fun of the way your nose would wiggle when you talked. He had a smart comment for everything. He thought he was smarter than you, even. There weren't many nice things to say right off the top of your head, but you loved him anyway.

 During the school year, the school hours especially, you never talked to him. He was off parading around with his squad of friends, each one more pigheaded than the last. They’d act like they didn’t care about school in the schoolyard, but all of them got decent grades. Sometimes they would pick on others boys, the principal telling others that that’s just what boys did. Sometimes he would raise his hand in class and answer the right question, and even though you sat next to each other in class, he’d never look at you. 

  Your school life was a little different. You were off spending time hovering by doorways, wishing the days would end until you could see him again. You looked at him from the corner of your eye, a question of whether you truly knew him or not always on your tongue. You didn’t spend time pretending other people were your friends, because your best friend had always been him.

  After school felt like a different time zone. Neither of you took your time with homework. You would rush, a telltale sign being poorly erased letters and crumpled papers shoved into bookbags. Usually, he would walk to your house and meet you in the tent in the backyard, talking long before he reached the entrance. He always talked about his day as if you weren’t in it. He liked to talk a lot.

“I don’t want to hear it.” you would say. “I don’t know why you’re friends with those people.”

 You were both at an age where you were figuring stuff out. You fought a lot, with him storming out of your backyard tent and walking home, and you resisting the urge to follow him. There was always a phone call from his concerned mother, eased by your own mother reassuring her that you’d both work out your differences soon. You’d been best friends since you were even younger, clinging to each other only when other people weren’t looking. It was too late to make a clean break.

 Summers were your favorite because you had him all to yourself. At that age, you weren’t aware that keeping him was holding him back from other things. You were all too happy to lounge on a beach with him, watching him get stuck in the sand and laughing at him until your stomach hurt. To you, it was the purest form of love. 

 Time made things weird, as it does. The summers you used to love started fading out. He no longer came on family trips. Instead, he went to summer camps with other thirteen-year-old boys. He would come back boasting about being taught to shave his face by the older kids, and then he would show you his new skills. Even though you were disinterested, you always watched him intensely, thinking that if he let you in to this one valuable piece of information, he would open the door to the rest. He never did.

  Gradually, after-school hangouts were taken away from you, too. Your father’s only contribution to any conversation was to say that your best friend would be more interested in girls now. Even as your parents left you alone, the words of  “But I’m a girl!” leaving your lips until the last light was shut off, you never really understood what it meant. In fact, it wasn’t until he flirted with someone else in front of your face that you got the hint. You were a girl, but he never thought of you that way. And he would rather spend his time after school walking to someone else’s house.

 None of that was as bad as high school was. Up until then, you’d been clutching at straws to make the friendship what it once was. You made the tent bigger to accommodate his growing frame. You offered to pay for movies if he’d come alone, and you would even sit through the boring ones just for him. On the rare chance that you’d guilt trip him into staying a little longer with you, it was enough to keep you enduring. When high school truly hit, the studying took up most of your time. The scraps that were left were spent having family time, or visiting schools your mother wanted you to attend after high school.

 Though he no longer ignored you in school, things had gotten harder. He was dating often, sweeping girls off their feet with his wild, charming sense of humor. It was hard for them not to get jealous of you. Though you weren’t around much, the bond you both shared was obvious to everyone who watched the pair of you together. He never really wanted to choose between his childhood best friend and someone he was seeing, but the choice was always very apparent to you. 

“Maybe you should date, too,” he had said.

  You shut it down quickly, appalled that he would even suggest a thing. When you realized your dismissal must have hurt his feelings, you backtracked.

“Do you have anyone in mind?” you asked.

 His smile made you feel like you were on top of the world. Of course he had someone to introduce to you. Thus, the double date was born. You could tag along with him and his girlfriend, with a friend of his you eventually started dating. It wasn’t the most ideal situation, but it had rekindled something in your friendship you didn’t know you’d been missing.

 He had even come around to your house more. You came home from a study group one time to see him in your childhood tent, his long legs sticking out of it. He bent his body forward, holding up a bag of snacks you recognized.

“You still sit in here?” he asked.

You sat down next to him, the plastic of the tent hitting you in the forehead. “When I need to think.”

“You have a brain?”

“Funny.” you said. “Why are you here?”

  He got a far away look in his eyes, like he did whenever he was truly going to say something stupid. There were times he spoke philosophically, because deep down, he was never the stupid little boy you said he was.

“Life is moving too fast,” he said. “Remember when we were kids and it moved so slow? I would suffer waiting for summer.”

“I remember it vividly.” you said. “Are you feeling nostalgic?”

  He ate some of the snacks, offering you some. When you didn’t take it, he pulled on your hair a little bit. It pulled you to wherever he was at, back in time to when things felt much easier than they were. High school was ending, and you were all walking down different paths, none of them leading back to this tent.

“I want you to promise me something.” he said. “After high school, I want us to always be best friends. This last year has made me realize how much I missed you.”

 You wanted to tell him how much you missed him, to take his hand and hold it in yours. There was something in you that couldn’t do it. You just kept chewing, waiting for him to keep talking. 

“Let’s promise to call each other at least once a day when we’re adults.” he said, getting this excited look in his eyes. He felt more like the real Haechan right then than he ever had in the past five years.

“Promise.” you said, holding out your pinky and getting ready to kiss your thumb.

  Haechan linked his pinky with yours, his thumb connecting to your thumb. You leaned down to kiss it at the same time, your faces coming closer to each other than they had in a long time.

  Sadly, after high school, the promise was never kept. The image of him walking away from your backyard was the last time you saw him in any place you called home.

                                                          ~♡~

  You held the phone away from your ear because it was too hot. In your other hand, you held a cold, strawberry smoothie, the condensation dripping down your fingers. The sidewalks were busy, so it was tricky trying to weave in and out of the people, all while holding an unfinished manuscript for the next book you were writing. Years of dodging kids in school hallways made you a pro. As you were about to collide with a delivery man, you spun around gracefully and avoided disaster. After taking a sip of smoothie, you brought the phone closer to your ear.

“Do people still do book signings for physical copies?” you asked. “I thought everything was about selfies now. I definitely don’t look good with the flash on.”

“Of course.” your agent told you over the phone. “I don’t think anyone over the age of existence does. How old are you?”

“Twenty-four.” you said.

 Your agent on the other end sighed. “You’re too young to be worried about any of this. I’ll book you for the signing and people will come, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

 You wanted to rattle off all the reasons you were freaking out over it, but you were in public. You took another sip of smoothie and looked at the manuscript tucked against your body. Twenty-four and published, with your book rising in the charts, and a second book underway. You shouldn’t be so scared to have human interactions with strangers who enjoy your work, and yet...

“Okay.” you said, closing your eyes for a moment.” Okay, you can do it. I don’t know why I get like this. Seriously, you’re the best.”

“I know. I know.” your agent said. “Take a bath and relax. Call me later.”

  You hung up and threw your phone in the deep recesses of your bag. Your one hand was wet, and you didn’t want it touching the papers, so you tucked them deeper against your body and kept on walking.

                                                        ~♡~

“A book signing. Can you believe it?” you said into the phone. There was no answer on the other end, not even a little static. You walked a little slower on the sidewalk, letting the outside world disappear from your vision. You took a deep breath. “I sold so many copies, mom. I know you would be proud of me.”

  The message ended with a beep. You left the phone on your ear and stopped walking. You stood still, wondering if one day calling your mother and leaving messages on her old cell phone would eventually make you feel better. She died shortly after you graduated from high school, and the phone number was the only part of her still kept alive. You called it whenever you felt a little lost, or on days when you had exciting news to share.

  Feeling a tightness in your chest, you turned off your phone and dropped it into your bag. You were almost home, but you felt like you weren’t ready to face your apartment again. You found it so funny that your professional life was so full and booked, but your personal life was so hollow and empty.

  You turned away, thinking that you could retrace your steps and find yourself on a street with a cafe still open. You would gladly sit at that table and write, watching strangers living their lives, each one stuffed to the brim of character. Men that tried hitting on women who were disinterested, the click-clacking of their heels walking away from potential danger. Mothers with their children, each child holding a mushy, spit-covered ice cream cone. There was always someone who didn’t belong in the crowd, someone your eyes glossed over, and someone who brought up memories of someone you used to know. It was your favorite pastime: watching people who weren’t watching you. You smiled at the thought of getting to live those many lives, when you remembered that there was always a writing deadline to attend to.

  Another time, you thought, before taking the remaining steps to your apartment and looking through the darkened glass front door. Maybe you would take up your agent's suggestion of taking a bath.

 Feeling a little more jolly, you walked up the steps and let yourself in. You stopped to check your mailbox (empty), stopped to check your phone messages one last time (also empty), and lastly, checked your surroundings. When you were sure no one was around, you walked up the steps, feeling tired both mentally and physically. When you reached the top of the hallway, you stopped.

“Haechan.” you said, his name too quiet for him to hear.

   Sitting outside your door, a hood over his head, sat the boy who used to pull on your ponytail. Only now, the figure in all-black clothes, a little 5 o’clock shadow on his face, the one that looked up at you like he didn’t recognize you, pulled at your heartstrings. 

                                                           ~♡~

  You liked to remember Haechan often, especially considering the main character of your book was written with him in mind. Well, you changed his name in the book and made him a lot cooler, but the core of him was the same. Both men were the epicenter of your whole world, even though one of them had left years ago. 

 Looking at him sitting on your floor transported you back in time. Briefly, your mind tried to convince yourself that you were seeing a ghost from the past. But, when he got up from the floor, approaching you cautiously, and he paused for a second before reaching out his arms to hug you, your fingertips knew what your brain didn’t: he was real.

  “Why are you here?” you blurted, pulling away from him, your body regretful that you had let him go.

“I don’t get a hello?” he asked.

  You raised your eyebrows, the surprise on your face real. You were struggling with words, which annoyed you as a writer. All you could do was look at his face and how much it had changed over the last few years. He was a man now. He was a little taller, and the baby fat on his cheeks was gone. He still couldn’t dress right, and the old confidence faded, but he was still as handsome as ever. When he smiled to show that he was joking, you couldn’t stop looking at his teeth.

“How did you find out where I live?” you asked.

“Your dad.” he said.

 Haechan didn’t so much as give his apologies for missing your mother’s funeral, and he had the good graces not to bring her up at all. You felt grateful, saving the pain of both things for another time. 

“I don’t talk to him much anymore.” you said. “He only comes by to give me old things he thinks I want.”

  Not knowing what to do with the piece of information, Haechan shoved his hands into his pockets. You hated how awkward it felt being in front of him. The silence outside of your apartment was magnified by your deep breathing. 

“Are you here because of my book?” you asked.

Puzzled, Haechan blinked. “Book? I didn’t read your book.”

  You adjusted your bag in your hands and thought of something to say. Before you could speak, Haechan motioned to the bag he brought sitting in front of your apartment door. You looked at it, the big black boulder holding no significance to you.

“I was actually just passing through town. I was wondering if you could let me stay a night.” he said.

Him

  He said he hated the apples, even though they were his favorite fruit. He put them on your lunch tray when you weren’t looking, because if you’d seen him do it, you would have made a fuss. Then, he’d get up from your table and go back to wherever his other friends were, because that was what was expected of him. But his eyes always went back to your table to make sure you were eating well, and he would try his best to remember the way you’d smile when you looked down and saw what he had left behind.

 He hated school. It was full of adults who tried to change him. Laugh a little less, they said. Don’t be a clown. Don’t make too much trouble. There was never any room for dreamers or troublemakers, never any kind of future for those who didn’t have plans by the time they were pulled from the womb. Behave and listen. Listen and learn, or we’ll call your parents. He had heard it all by the time he was thirteen, and he hated every bit of it.

 Not you, though. You never tried to change him. You let him go on his way, even though he knew you felt like he was abandoning you. You were the only person he trusted most days, and in the tent in your backyard, he had felt most like himself. 

“I don’t want to hear it.” you had said once. You were angry, he could see it in the way you tried not to say what you wanted to say. “I don’t know why you’re friends with those people.”

 He hadn’t known, either. They liked the way he made them laugh, and he liked the attention they gave him. They were different, in the way that they didn’t remind him that friendships were temporary, that everyone you know might someday disappear. He was terrified of that, of the idea that good things didn’t last.

“Are you jealous?” he asked.

 He wanted the words to sting. He knew you were jealous, and he knew you would never admit to it. He would have been jealous, too, if the roles were reversed. He wanted nothing more than for you to admit that you cared about him, that you loved him, or to rouse any kind of feeling in you at all. Those words spawned a fight that made it hard for either of you to bounce back from. He pulled and picked at you until you were deteriorating in front of his eyes. Choice words were said, and though the wounds healed as you both grew older, neither of you really forgot the beginning of the end.

 Summer came and went, time never slowing down for anybody. The hatred  burning in his heart subsided as he grew into himself more, though he never really learned how to savor the moments as they happened. He was always reaching for more, stuffing his greedy face full of anything that could keep him content.

   His phone calls to you melted down to just one call per week. He didn’t stop by the tent as much, didn’t ask to catch up on homework. He was drifting through school, using the passage of time to measure the length of girls legs, and how they’d move in his direction any time he smiled.

“Maybe you should date, too,” he had said.

 His bright idea didn’t rub off on you. You didn’t smile, didn’t look at him the excited way he looked at you. When you shut it down so quickly, he wondered if your rejection had something to do with him. He was trying really hard to keep your friendship alive, even catching up in the hallways before class to make sure you were taking care of yourself.

“Do you have anyone in mind?” you asked, a simple smile appearing and disappearing before he could blink.

 Introducing you to one of his friends, in hindsight, wasn’t the best idea. He’d had better, but he could hardly take it back. You looked happy when his friend's attention was on you. You were radiant. And it was the perfect set-up. You both could double date and spend time together, just like the old days, even making both of your dates uncomfortable by how close of a bond you had together.

  When the jealousy arrived in a perfect little handbasket, he was sure it was payback for treating you differently, as he was getting to know himself more. He burned whenever he saw you with the other boy, whenever you reached out for his hand, your lips quivering for a kiss. He would stay up late at night in a restless fit, his mind taking turns convincing himself that you were losing your virginity every waking moment. 

 “You’re spending a lot of time at my house.” you had said to him on more than one occasion. 

“Do you mind?” he asked. “I can go home, if you want.”

“No.” you said quickly, your eyes sparkling.

 He wanted to kiss you then. It was a fleeting , special moment, and it hovered in the air between you both from that moment forward. He thought maybe he was imagining it, but he had been close to many girls, and no one looked at him the way you did.

 Sitting in your tent, his legs stretched out of it because he was too big, he thought back to every time you made his heart do backflips in his chest. Ever since you were small, he had feelings for you. In fact, his parents used to joke that the two of you would end up together one day, maybe have a wedding in the backyard,  your inside jokes written into your vows.

 Hearing leaves crunching underfoot, he sat up.  “You still sit in this thing?” he asked.

You sat down next to him, the plastic of the tent hitting you in the forehead. “When I need to think.”

“You have a brain?”

“Funny.” you said. “Why are you here?”

 He wasn’t sure why. He had been taking a walk and found himself there, his feet knowing exactly where to go. He had been thinking too hard about life after high school, and about what kind of man he wanted to be.

“Life is moving too fast,” he said. “Remember when we were kids and it moved so slow? I would suffer waiting for summer.”

“I remember it vividly.” you said. “Are you feeling nostalgic?”

  He ate some of the snacks, offering you some. When you didn’t take it, he pulled on your hair a little bit. Getting you to eat properly was important to him. If he wasn’t around to remind you to take care of yourself, how would you survive the rest of life without him?

“I want you to promise me something.” he said. “After high school, I want us to always be best friends. This last year has made me realize how much I missed you.”

 When he felt like he was going to cry, he shoved more food into his face. He was watching you out of the corner of his eye, wondering if he should continue. When you remained quiet, he began again.

“Let’s promise to call each other at least once a day when we’re adults.” he said, getting this excited look in his eyes. He felt more like the real Haechan right then than he ever had in the past five years.

“Promise.” you said, holding out your pinky and getting ready to kiss your thumb.

  Haechan linked his pinky with yours, his thumb connecting to your thumb. You leaned down to kiss it at the same time, your faces coming closer to each other than they had in a long time. It would be so easy to seal the deal with a real kiss, one that had been years in the making. But he didn’t, and neither did you.

“I have to go.” he said, getting to his feet. “You’re going to keep your promise, right?”

“Have I ever broken a promise to you?” you asked.

                                                       ~♡~ 

  He was raised not to comment on the state of other people’s homes, good or not. Looking around yours, he wanted so badly to tell you how well you were doing for yourself, and how proud of you he was. He looked around, his fingers itching to touch the pretty ceramic birds on an end table, to run a fingertip on a dustless counter and hold it up to the light. 

“You can put your bag down over here.” you said, motioning to a spot beside the couch. “My couch isn’t much, but it is comfortable.”

 You were a little awkward, your eyes unable to connect with his. He could see your mind waiting to defend yourself against the little jabs old Haechan would have made about your space. When he didn’t, you didn’t let your shoulders relax. He moved further inside your apartment, and to your confusion, he said it was a nice place, and that he would be happy to sleep wherever. 

 Compared to your nerves, he was quite calm. He felt like he had walked into a time machine and transported himself into the backyard again. It was like nothing had changed at all. You still looked the same, with nicer clothes that looked more expensive than the average persons. It looked like you went to the hair salon to ask for an “adult” haircut, but your baby face made it hard to take you seriously. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” 

Haechan shrugged. “Sure.”

  When you didn’t ask if he was hungry, Haechan made himself comfortable on the couch. You sat on an opposite chair, folding your hands in your lap. You kept looking around the room nervously, as if you were scared to be alone with a stranger. It hurt him a little bit, but he was mature enough to let it slide.

“Thank you for letting me stay.” he said.

“It’s fine.”

Haechan sighed. “This is much harder than I thought it would be.”

“What is?” you asked, touching your fingers to your neck.

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

  You got up from your chair as if you’d been electrocuted. “I forgot I need to make a phone call. I will be right back. Don’t touch anything.” 

  Haechan watched you as you grabbed your bag and left the room. Never one to keep still, an old habit that never died, he got up and looked around. He came across the room you entered and saw that the door was ajar. He didn’t listen to the conversation, just grabbed little pieces of it regarding a book signing to take place the next day.

“So soon?” he heard you ask the person on the other end of the phone.

 Haechan walked away, his attention set on the fireplace. On top of it sat a bunch of picture frames, one of which he was in. Haechan stared at it for a long time, his eyes tracing the outline of the little boy he used to be. In the picture, the two of you were hanging onto each other. You were maybe eight years old, ice cream running down your chin, and a blissful ignorance only a child can carry on your sweet face.

 He didn’t know where things had gone wrong. The two of you should have been friends forever. It just made sense. He reached out to touch his fingers to the photo but reeled back when he saw your face in the reflection.

“My mother took that photo.” you said, appearing behind him.

He nodded. “I remember.” 

 The air was heavy. He wanted to apologize for not going to her funeral. He had been out of the country during that time, but he should have called you. He could have written a letter, he could have done anything else but ignore it. 

“I was scared.” Haechan said, the words surprising himself.

You held up a hand, as if you didn’t want to talk about it, but Haechan continued, “I loved her, too.”

 You turned your back and went into the kitchen. Quietly, Haechan followed. He wasn’t going to bring it up anymore. He sensed your sadness because it brewed in his chest, too. He sat on a stool as you got yourself a cup and poured cold water from a pitcher into it. 

“How was your trip?” you asked, your voice shaky.” Are you still traveling?”

 Since he left high school, Haechan felt aimless. He needed to explore the world in an attempt to further his education surrounding himself. He had traveled to many countries and met many people that changed him. Disappearing was never the plan, but it was addicting to not have phone calls, or to adhere to schedules. 

“I’m seeing where it goes.” he said. 

  You took a sip of water and never stopped looking at him. When you were done, you placed it on the counter. “I guess I should ask the million dollar question.”

Haechan leaned back in his stool, “Hit me with what you got.”

“Why are you here?” you asked.

“I didn’t want to pay for a hotel.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I’m not a liar.”

“Haechan, I’ve known you all my life.” you said. “Lying is your calling.”

“I wanted to see you.”

You inhaled and exhaled slowly. “Stop lying to me.”

“I’m not lying.” he said. “I’ve never lied to you.”

  The bitterness was morphing your face. He could tell you were thinking back to the promise, about how broken it had made you. After he left, he heard from his parents that you called his house often to ask where he had gone. You wrote him letters that were undelivered. You nearly followed him halfway across the world until your mother got sick. 

“Okay.” he said. “It wasn’t a lie when I made that promise. I had every intention of being with you until we were old and wrinkly.”

“Please.” you said. “You knew what you were going to do before you did it. You booked the plane ticket two weeks in advance. You were with me at graduation. You kissed me.”

  He remembered the kiss well. He had thought about it often on his travels, remembering the way your velvety lips felt, and how he never wanted to stop kissing you. The kiss made sense. It was the one thing time had every permission to slow down. 

“I know.” he said.

  He kissed you. You didn’t kiss him. He was happy about graduating. He was riding the high of the plane ticket, of the unknown waiting for him. He was scared it was the last chance he had to show you his feelings. When you kissed him back and it felt so good, he was then scared that he would never have the guts to leave. 

  You continued speaking, each word obliterating his thoughts, “ You want to think going away was just some spontaneous thrill, Haechan, but it fucking wasn’t. You could have told me it was what you wanted. I would have understood. You didn’t have to leave without saying goodbye. You didn’t have to-”

 You couldn’t say the words, so he finished them for you. “-leave. I know. I’m sorry. This isn’t an excuse, but I...didn’t want to lose you.”

  The words felt stupid as soon as he said them. You held your hand up to your head and said you had a headache. Haechan took the time to excuse himself and use the bathroom, locking himself away to figure out what he really thought was going to happen when he showed up at your door to get you back.

You 

  You collapsed onto your couch. The last hour felt like a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. You were older and more equipped to handle confrontation, but there was something about seeing Haechan that made you want to curl in your mother’s lap like a child. You bit down on your thumb and thought of the ways you could ask him to leave your private space. There was a hotel down the street that was relatively cheap. 

  You looked at the photo on the fireplace. The little boy staring back at you had no idea one day he would break your heart into a million pieces. He was still a little unsure of himself, his smile unknowingly gearing up to be mischievous in a few years time. You thought of the grown man in the bathroom, and how the years had passed, but he still felt the same. A part of you wanted to pinch his cheek and wrap your arms around him like you would when you were young. An even bigger part of you wanted to kiss him to see if the feelings still lingered, even though you already knew the answer to that.

  Moving your foot, you accidentally nudged his backpack. You looked down at it. It was worn in places, with band buttons adorning the front. One of the zippers was open and the edge of something was sticking out. You looked at your closed bathroom door and back to the backpack before gathering up your courage and unzipping it slowly. 

  Digging your hand inside, you pulled out a corner of his underwear. With a quick “Ew”, you shoved it back inside. Your knuckle touched against something hard. You wrapped your hand around it and unearthed it to see that it was your book. You pulled it out even more and audibly gasped. 

“You liar.” you whispered.

 Hearing the toilet flush, you panicked and pulled the book all the way out and shoved it underneath your couch pillow. Quickly, you zipped his backpack and sat back, crossing one leg over the other. When Haechan came out, he hardly looked at you.

“Coming here was a bad idea,” he said. “I don’t know what I expected.”

You stood up. “Wait.”

  Haechan didn’t hear you. He grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder. You could see that his face was wet where he had thrown water on it. He didn’t make eye contact with you, just waved his hand and apologized for being an inconvenience. 

“Leaving again?” you said.

  Haechan stopped moving. He turned back. “I thought about you every day I was gone. Every day. And every day, my next thought was that I didn’t deserve you.”

 You didn’t know what to say, so you said nothing at all. For a beat or two, you both stared, your eyes searching each other's. You could see every age of Haechan since you’d known him on his face, from the adorable child to the handsome adult. 

  You let Haechan leave this time. He closed the door with a soft click, his presence feeling like a fever dream. Mindlessly, you sat back down on your couch, and only remembered the book still laying there after some time.

 You took your book and placed it on your lap. It was so worn that some of the pages were slipping out of the binding. You opened it carefully and flipped through the pages, the margins filled up with black pen ink. Haechan had written down his input on most pages with things like:

Am I really like this? There is no way this guy is cooler than me.

You know? You’re actually kind of funny. 

Your mother was better than us all.

  You closed the book with a snap and felt the tears falling. You put your head down and tried to feel everything all at once.

                                                         ~♡~

  Your agent walked next to you, her stride slowing to match yours. She didn’t outright say you looked like shit, though it was the truth. Your eyes were a little red, your cheeks were puffy, and you kept itching your neck all throughout the night until there were red scratch marks all on your skin.

 She held open the door to the bookstore “Are you nervous?”

“Am I nervous?” you asked. “I’m shitting myself. I don’t think anyone is going to show up, but with my life, I’m pretty sure I can deal with the embarrassment.”

 Your agent rattled on and on about how special you were to people. She dragged you throughout the two story bookstore, pulling you harder when you tried stalling. You mostly blocked out her words to save your sanity. You didn’t love when people tried buttering you up.

“Just over in this section.” she said. “It starts in twenty minutes, so don’t expect many people right away.”

  When you both turned the corner, there was a sizable line leading up to a table stacked with new books. When the people saw you, they gawked. Some clapped, which made your face turn as hot as your neck. 

“I can’t do this.” you whispered.

  Your agent directed you to a chair, holding you down by your shoulders, so you wouldn’t run away. You took a sip of cold water sitting by your side.

“They’re all here for you.” she said. “Smile and try to be happy.”

“I’ll try.” you said, but when someone smiled at you in front of the line, you felt yourself returning a genuine smile.

 Twenty minutes passed by faster than you wished. When the first person approached the table, you tried to remember your school teachers who believed in you. You recalled all the people who inspired your stories, making a mental bid to thank them for making the first signing so sweet. 

“I really love how you write.” someone had said. Hearing those words made you feel touched. You tried your hardest not to tear up, signing your sloppy signature as best you could.

“Thank you.” you said, the gratitude you felt hopefully being translated well.

  You signed for a long time, the line growing and growing as time passed. Some people came with their own dog-eared books, others with fresh copies. They asked what your upcoming book was about, which made you excited to finish writing it. 

“There isn’t a set ending quite yet, but I’m writing like crazy!” you said.

  You looked down at a book before you and smiled, your fingers touching the pages softly. You signed it and handed it back, giving the fan a smile that reached your eyes. When your eyes locked with his, you felt the world move. Staring back at you was Haechan.

“I would have given you my own copy to sign.” he said. “But I seem to have misplaced it.”

 There was a knowing smile on his face that made you feel flushed all over. He took the signed book back and tucked it underneath his arm. Since yesterday, he looked freshly showered in a similar black t-shirt and jeans. His hair was carefully laid flat on his head like he cared what he looked like in public. He looked handsome, and his cheeks were definitely not puffy.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you read the book?” you asked. 

“You and I both know I don’t make the best choices.” he said. 

  You smiled faintly. There was pain in the smile he returned. You wanted so badly to reach across the table and smooth away the lines on his forehead.

“I know this isn’t the best place.” he said, turning around to look at the line behind him. “But I came here to tell you the truth of why I was outside of your door yesterday.”

“Okay.” you said, your attention no longer on those people.

Haechan continued. “You see, I’m not traveling anymore. “

“You’re not?” you asked. “Then, what are you doing?”

“I’m coming home.”  

 You didn’t know what he expected of you, but he looked a little deflated when you held out your hand. He looked at the book under his arm and back at your hand, his smile unsure. He took the book out and placed it gently into the palm of your hand. You placed the book back onto the table and opened to the space where you had signed your name.

“I’m not going to ask for promises anymore.” you said. “I’ve always asked you for too much. For now, I would just like to tell you something.”

In the book, just below your name, you signed “I love you, Haechan.”

  Before you could even close the book, Haechan came around the table and brought you into a big hug that certainly felt like home. 

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press: Elizabeth Olsen, Much Like Wanda Maximoff, Comforts Herself With Classic TV

W MAGAZINE: For W’s second annual TV Portfolio, we asked 26 of the most sought-after names in television to pay homage to their favorite small-screen characters by stepping into their shoes.

WandaVision was the first television show produced by Marvel Studios, and any gamble Disney+ took to make the series happen immediately paid off. At one point during its nine-episode run, WandaVision was the most popular streamed show in the world (beaten only recently by another Marvel series, Loki). The suburbia-set series received critical acclaim, snagging 23 Emmy nominations—one of those for Elizabeth Olsen, who was nominated for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie for her performance as the titular Wanda—and convinced even the biggest Marvel skeptics to buy into its delicious plot.

It might come as a surprise, then, that Olsen doesn’t really watch that much contemporary television herself. But who could blame the actress, when most of her time is spent filming scenes for the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Wanda Maximoff (also known as the Scarlet Witch), a wielder of chaos magic who materializes in the small town of Westview—first as a 1950s-era housewife married to a humanlike robot named Vision (played by Paul Bettany), then as a ’60s housewife, then a ’70s housewife, and so on. When the actress does watch television, though, she prefers to get into some of those older shows, like Murder, She Wrote, which she chose to re-create above, and, of course, episodes of ’90s sitcoms like Full House, of which there was no dearth in the actress’s childhood.

My contract with Marvel was done. Kevin Feige, who runs Marvel, had me come into his office, and he pitched me WandaVision. I loved the concept of it, but I was terrified of a new streaming service—that is now Disney+.

Did you know the entire concept going in, or was it revealed to you over time?

He told me that he wanted to create a story about Wanda Maximoff manipulating reality to mimic the sitcoms that she grew up with in order to comfort herself. He wanted it to be kind of trippy, for it to feel like a sitcom, but twisted, kind of Twilight Zone-y. That reminded me of Twilight Zone: The Movie, where there’s a boy who is obsessed with television, has a horrible family, and he conjures up a bunny that kills his whole family. It’s really wacky. I just thought, It would be incredible if we do anything that’s a piece of that.

Were you personally a fan of I Love Lucy and other old sitcoms?

Yeah, I watched Nick at Nite all the time. I loved I Love Lucy, Laverne & Shirley. I didn’t like The Brady Bunch, but I loved the Brady Bunch sequel movies. That made me excited to get to reference The Brady Bunch [in WandaVision].

Did you shoot the episodes in order, or did you go back and forth between the 1950s and ’60s?

We tried to film everything in order. The exteriors, though, we hopped around. Our fences, the color of the houses, the flowers all look different from decade to decade. Luckily, it was pretty contained, but it really was sad to wrap the sitcom. We wrapped it when Paul and I and Kathryn [Hahn] and Teyonah [Parris] were filming the ’70s opening montage to the Brady Bunch theme, and that was how he wrapped it—in six bizarre outfits, with a pregnant belly on a tandem bike.

Did you keep anything from the set?

I’m not a keeper, because I feel like I’m not allowed to [keep things]. I feel like everything goes into some box that they hide from everyone, then maybe eventually they’ll retire and reuse shit. I have no idea.

I thought you might keep Wanda’s apron!

That would have been a really impractical apron. It was made out of gauze. Anything would bleed right through it.

Do you have an understanding of women in each decade now? Did you have to wear the undergarments and the whole nine yards?

Yeah. I loved the undergarments. It’s all helpful for the time, for the character, for how women move, how they talk. The shoes were the worst. I did wear vintage period shoes. And that’s awful. My feet don’t even like heels, let alone heels that have quite literally no support.

Is it difficult to have kissing scenes with all the purple paint on Paul Bettany when he’s dressed as Vision?

It’s really hard. It comes off on me, even though they try as much as they can to powder him. They have to powder his hands all the time, because if he wants to touch my face… They have to be on top of us for those scenes. It’s really not practical.

So which character did you decide to play for our portfolio?

I decided to be Angela Lansbury [as Jessica Fletcher] in Murder, She Wrote. I asked my friend Clayton Hawkins, who’s a hairstylist and great with wigs, if he could get a cheap wig and wrap my hair. And that’s what we did. I was watching Murder, She Wrote in London a lot.

During lockdown?

I was filming there, and in and out of lockdowns, but filming through lockdowns as well. And that was one of the things that would be on the television. I think I never really sat down and watched Murder, She Wrote until then. It’s fabulous. Great guest stars, great whodunits. My favorite moment is when they solve it and play it out for you in the solving of the mystery and going backwards. It’s just delicious, and it feels good to watch. There’s a great horse-racing episode that I loved, because I love the racetrack.

Did you have a TV show you loved growing up?

I never did Dawson’s Creek, I never did any of those shows. What did I watch, though? I loved Family Matters, Step by Step, The Torkelsons. And I loved Full House. We had all the VHSs, and it was very easy to watch at my house.

Did you have a crush on John Stamos?

Yes.

Who was your cinematic crush when you were growing up?

Frank Sinatra. I didn’t know they were old movies that I was watching. So when you say “TV shows,” what I consumed as a child was all old musicals, like Oklahoma!, Guys and Dolls, Carousel, West Side Story. I loved classic musicals, and I was in love with Frank Sinatra. I would do scenes with him in my bathroom, which then turned into scenes with George Clooney as I got older and I realized Frank Sinatra was an old man. I was like, Well, maybe if I get older, I can at least work with George Clooney, as his daughter’s friend or something, and then we have a thing.

What was your first red carpet look? Was it for Martha Marcy May Marlene?

Yeah, Cannes was my first red carpet look. I was in the Row. I was in a black Row skirt and a lace top, and I didn’t have an undergarment on. I didn’t know that flash photography at night was going to be my enemy, and my publicist worked really hard to try and remove those pictures from the Internet. [Laughs]

Do you have a secret skill?

You know what I’m really good at? Removing stains. I believe I can remove a stain from anything.

How did you learn to remove stains?

Probably started with my mom, who’s a soaker. That’s kind of the first rule: patience. And then, because I cook so much, I think I just had to learn. I’m pretty “woman of the house” handy.

I thought you were going to say that your secret skill was that you can sell real estate. Because when I first met you, you had a real estate license.

I did. It’s definitely expired. I got my real estate license because I didn’t want to work in a restaurant in New York as a summer job. So I thought, I’ll work in a real estate office. I was dealing with my sister’s friend who was a realtor, and I dealt with his rental clients. And I would mispronounce streets in New York all the time, because I had just moved there.

Press: Elizabeth Olsen, Much Like Wanda Maximoff, Comforts Herself With Classic TV was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[dumdumsun]

Forever and Never

A/N: Thank you so much for taking the time to read this series ❤️ I’ve had so much fun writing this and am very proud of and excited for it, I can’t wait to see how people react to this. Um I know there are plenty of warnings for a first chapter, but I promise it’s not as depressing as it sounds. It’s just that this story can deal with heavy stuff sometimes, so I just wanna let you know that. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of marijuana, death, sexual assault and mental illness

Word Count: 3194

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One: Hi, My Name Is

“So, what was your time in Pennsylvania like?”

“Uh… I’d have to say it was the best… and worst time of my life.”

“Best and worst, huh? Would you like to elaborate?”

“Well, I, uh… I mean, I don’t really know how to, like… explain it. It’s a lot. I don’t even know where to begin… Or how I would even word it or anything.”

“Well, you told me you like television and movies, right? You know those shows and movies where the main character tells the plot as, like, their life story? Maybe you could try that.”

“You aren’t… You aren’t serious, are you?”

“You’ll know when I’m joking, trust me.”

“Oh… Okay, then. Well, um…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi? My name is… (Y/N)? This is my life story, I guess.

So, if we’re going to talk about my life in Pennsylvania, we’re going to have to start with my life in Kansas, first. I had two loving parents that soon turned into one at the too-young age of nine years, when my mom died. I remember her as one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known. She had this way about her that was so carefree, yet she gave a shit about everything. You could never pin a thought to her because she never let you in on what was bouncing around in her head. She was stubborn and patient and lively. I miss her so much. I don’t usually think about her unless it’s a particularly hectic day, which I then resort to talking to the ring I wear on my left pinky finger at all times. Wasn’t anything special, just some cheap ring with a little emerald inside she found at a thrift store. It used to be hers and she’d wear it on the exact same finger. My dad said she’d want me to have it.

My dad is my favorite person. He isn’t the most… present, though. His mind is never set in one place, always racing with hundreds of unrelated thoughts. It’s why when you finally drag him back into reality, he can’t repeat a single sentence spoken to him. Regardless, he’s all I had for a long time. I never really learned what he does for a living, but I just know that it forces him to leave town sometimes. Well, more like all the time. Before my mom died, it was easy for him to leave for weeks on end, but when he became my only guardian, he didn’t really know what to do with me. It was like he completely forgot how to take care of a child, his child. When I turned twelve, that was when he started travelling again. I would then be home by myself for a month to eight weeks. In these times, I had no choice but to learn to cook for myself, go grocery shopping and housekeep. I became pretty independent at a young age. It wasn’t like Dad left me totally alone, though. He would call every two or three days and he sent me two hundred dollars every two weeks. Like I said, I don’t know what my dad did, but he was definitely getting paid. At the end of eighth grade, Dad had a particularly long trip to go on, so he sent me to Pennsylvania, where his sister lived.

Pennsylvania was partially the best part of my life because of my family. My Aunt Pam was like a second mother to me. She was never able to have another child after my cousin Jacob and she’s always wanted a daughter of her own, so that’s what I was to her. The daughter she could never have. I’d often find her staring at me with a bittersweet smile on her face, watching my every move with a sense of pride, but when I’d ask her what was wrong she’d only brush it off as her admiring me. My Uncle David didn’t necessarily view me as a daughter, but he certainly treated me like one. When he wanted to spend time with Jacob, he included me as well. We’d usually go on drives around the town, but I always fell asleep to the soft and serene music that filled the car from the radio. On the weekends, we would head down by the lake and spend hours learning to fish.

I hated it, but I couldn’t complain. It gave me a sense of certainty to live with a father figure who didn’t leave me alone every two or three months.

Jacob was like a brother to me. He’s a year older than me, which, to him, meant that he had to protect me at all costs. I always assumed it was because he always wanted a younger sibling, and I was the closest he was ever going to get to that. I always felt as though I’d never be able to equal Jacob on an intellectual level because he practically had the IQ of Albert Einstein himself. I felt inferior to him until I found out how much of a joy he really was. On the weekends, he would beg me to accompany him in a movie marathon. I learned that Jacob was a huge fan of Tim Burton (his favorite was Beetlejuice). He’s the only cousin I’ve ever known. Mom and Dad didn’t like each other’s families, so I never met anyone besides this little family. Moving in with them meant that they’d have this huge burden on them.

Yes, I almost forgot to mention that I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD. It just means that my mind is flooded with these crazy and unnecessary thoughts and so my behavior is affected by them. For example, if I were to blink and felt I put more pressure on my left eye than my right, I would have to repeatedly wink with my right eye until they felt balanced. Sometimes I can’t enter a room until I have inhaled eight times. If I scratch an itch on my left knee, I have to scratch the right one in the exact same place. At the sink, even if I don’t use both knobs, I have to hold both in my hands. And when I turn them off, I often have to check about four times before I am certain they’re turned off all the way. I know, it sounds tiring. Just imagine being on my end, having it be a part of who you are. I can’t do anything to stop it, I wish I could. I was always afraid to make friends because of this. If I couldn’t be balanced, I’d freeze, and I mean actually stop whatever I’m doing and stand still, until my body felt as if I were balanced once again. Who wouldn’t make fun of me for this?

Apparently, no one gave a shit about it. After moving to Pennsylvania, I made quite a name for myself at school. Literally. My name was Zip. I have no fucking clue how that ridiculous name came to be, but that’s what I went by day after day. One could say I was considered popular, but it wasn’t like I actually spoke to anyone. When it came to extracurriculars, I only participated in theatre. I never was part of the cast, just the stage manager. Secretly, I wanted so badly to audition and be a part of the magic they created on that stage. Not to boast or anything, but I had the talent and potential to be a starring role. But I could never bring myself to break out of my shell. Nonetheless, being stage manager still got me quite the attention. Everyone was always so nice to me, so I felt a little bad for not considering any of them as friends. That was until I met Dina.

Dina was new to our school sophomore year. She had this sort of light to her that attracted the pesky moths that were our dull and boring school body. We had the same social status in school. People liked our personalities, so we were well-liked and accepted without doing much to prove ourselves worthy. She was sweet and compassionate and so fun. I didn’t mean to become her friend, but she was so welcoming, despite being the newcomer. We became close friends, but not best friends. We already had people filling those roles.

Dina’s best friend was Sydney Novak. Sydney moved to Brownsville around the same time as Dina, so the two became best friends quickly, but Sydney wasn’t very popular at all. She was shy and introverted, but I thought she was nice enough. I liked her and thought she was a pretty cool person. We weren’t necessarily friends, we were just well acquainted simply because we were both close with Dina. The transitive property, if you would. I just wish we could’ve talked more, our relationship was pretty much nonexistent.

Speaking of nonexistent relationships, let’s talk about Richard Berry. I honestly don’t want to even think about him, but he played a role in my life that was too vital to just offhandedly mention. For some odd reason, Ricky Berry was absolutely in love with me. It was so obvious to everyone except for me. Sophomore year, he expressed his love through the most arrogant and cheesiest of pick-up lines and compliments. I wasn’t so easily won over, if you could guess. I tried being good friends with him, but he’d always fuck it up when he tried to initiate intimacy. I didn’t want to hold hands with him in the halls or receive “friendly” cheek kisses. I’m not what you would call affectionate, especially towards people I’m not close to. It’s just never been comfortable for me. Junior year, everyone around me was buzzing with excitement when they heard Ricky was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. The cheerleaders, who got to know him through his high school football career, constantly pestered me with reasons as to why I would be so lucky to date The Richard Berry. Granted, he became less of a dick junior year, so I thought, Why not?, and accepted. Being in a relationship with Ricky was the most one-sided… anything I had ever been a part of. He was undeniably enamored with me, but I couldn’t find it in myself to reciprocate those feelings. He would show me off to his family and friends like a trophy, but if someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I’d go, “I mean, yeah. I guess”, so not a very healthy relationship. It also didn’t help that Ricky knew nothing about boundaries.

One night, we were in his bedroom, studying for a science test. Ricky wasn’t focused at all and kept trying to kiss and cuddle with me. I let him for awhile, but then he took my book from me and set it on the ground beside his bed. He suggested we have sex right then and there. Now, I was never a prude and definitely didn’t wait to have sex for the first time, but I never wanted Ricky to be my first. He hadn’t earned enough of my trust to even touch me suggestively. So, of course I refused. Ricky only took that as me teasing him, so he advanced, nearly forcing himself on me. Using all my might, I shoved him off of the bed. He stood to his feet, utterly confused, but I only gathered my things and left his house. He tried following after me, but I ignored him until he turned and went back into his home. The next day at school, he was holding me and kissing me and showing me off to everyone like he always did. As if nothing happened between us the night before. It was difficult to do, since he was so inconsiderate, but I managed to break up with him. He tried to deny that we were Splitsville for about a week, but everyone caught wind of our break-up. Once everyone knew about it, it became true for him. I never really felt comfortable with being intimate or open with guys after that.

Besides with Stanley Barber, of course. Stan was my best friend in the entire world. I told only my deepest, darkest secrets to him. And he told me his. The only things we really had in common were our lack of mothers and our hideous bacne. Stan lived a few houses down and was eager to get to know me a week after I moved in. I’d never met anyone in my life like Stan. He was so awkward, but loveable. I don’t know, I guess he reminded me of my mom. The way he didn’t care, but he so clearly did. Whenever I wanted to talk about something that was difficult to voice, we’d smoke to ease the tension. Of course, this wasn’t how we always communicated. Despite his nervous stuttering, he was easy to open up to. Stan provided a sort of security in my life. He was never going to leave me and that put me at ease when hanging out with him, which we did regularly. I don’t know when exactly I developed a crush on him, but I never wanted it to surface in our bond. He was to never know. It was just a stupid crush, right? He was a guy who wasn’t family and was so unbelievably caring towards me. It was bound to happen, but that didn’t mean he had to be aware of it. Though, it was a little hard to keep such a secret when we’d both made out twice already. The first time was while I was dating Ricky, the kiss was very awkward and ended after about a minute and a half. The second kiss was just half a week after my breakup. That time, we’d both known what we were doing. And I may be a little biased, but you couldn’t have even thought to fake the passion in that makeout session. We never talked about either of those kisses and remained friends both times. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me that we didn’t become anything more afterwards. It was for the best, though, because two weeks before spring break, my dad returned from his job in Georgia and moved me to Kansas again. The move was so abrupt that I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to anyone besides my family.

My life in Kansas for the second time was something I’d never want to experience ever again. Since it was a little late in the year, I finished junior year online. For some unexplained reason, my dad had us get new phones and new numbers, so I lost all contact with my friends. I had no one to talk to and it wasn’t like my dad paid much attention to me. I remember spending every waking moment with him when I was younger, talking or playing games or watching television. It used to be so fun being his daughter, but when we moved back to Kansas, I just felt like this huge burden in his life. Our relationship was strained and he clearly had other priorities in his life. Like whatever he left back in Georgia. I’d see his phone ring and the same number from that state would pop up before he’d leave the room and privately talk with whoever. It wasn’t the secrecy that was off-putting to me, it was the fact that it was so much more important to him. Once again, I was ignored by the one person in my life I wanted to spend the most time with. So, you can imagine the joy I felt when Dad had to go back to Georgia for work. I had been attending public school for my senior year and left not even a full month in. It didn’t bother me, I had no friends and nothing to leave behind. Mid-September was when I moved back to Brownsville with Aunt Pam. Everyone accepted me right back in. Especially my classmates. As I walked the halls I heard whispers like,

“Oh, my god, is that Zip?”

“Zip’s back! Where’d she even go?”

“I thought she died.”

The only person I really wanted to notice me was Stan. I missed him so much, I even got into his favorite band to have something to remember him by. I remember the day I got back to my aunt’s house. Jacob had picked me up from the airport and was driving me to the house. He was attending community college, but was still living with his parents. As we drove, he tapped his index fingers rhythmically to the shitty pop music that played on the radio. “So, what are you excited about for senior year?”

“Not much, I just missed Dina and Stan. Theatre, too. I wonder how they’ve been doing without me.” I chuckled. Jacob huffed in amusement.

“But you didn’t miss Ricky?”

“Fuck, Jake, you know I didn’t miss him for a second.” I frowned, waving my hand in dismissal. My cousin tauntingly laughed at me. Had he actually known about what happened between Ricky and I, he wouldn’t have teased me. In fact, Ricky wouldn’t even be alive that day if Jacob found out. No one knew about the incident, not even Stan.

Pulling up in front of the house, we got out of the car and headed to the trunk to pull out my bags. I tried carrying them in, but Jacob insisted that he do all the heavy lifting and simply asked me to carry my backpack and close the trunk. I did what little I was asked of and headed to the front door to greet my aunt and uncle inside, but stopped. In the corner of my eye, I saw movement from the Barber residence. Turning, my eyes locked on Stanley, who was frozen beside his car. He was wearing his work uniform and staring at me with the most bewildered expression on his face. It was like he thought himself to be hallucinating my existence. Smiling, I simply waved at him before walking back inside. When he got home from work that night, he headed over to my house and knocked on the door. I answered with a grin on my face. “Stan!”

“If it isn’t the famous Zip, showing back up in my life.”

“Ugh, do not call me that.” I rolled my eyes playfully before bringing him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin at the top of my head. I would’ve stayed there all night if I could’ve. When Stanley pulled away, my heart hollowed and a pit formed within my stomach. I felt unfinished, unbalanced. And I hate imbalance. He asked if I wanted to hang out and I accepted his offer. All we did was lay on his floor, listen to music and get high, but in that moment, that’s all I needed.

Bloodwitch, a joint, and Stan laying by my side.

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Taglist: @melinda-hargreeves @sapphicsyn @stqnley @lonely-kermit

[simpsiren]

trailer of you

park jisung x reader

main masterlist

description. “Will a 30 second trailer really tell you everything you need to know about a person and know what you’re getting yourself into?” The only question that resonates in my head after my smooth relationship with the guy next door started to get rocky. Judging from his trailer, he seemed normal at first glance. Should I even open my heart to him? I trusted him too quickly with his baby face and sweet words, only to find him hurt my heart with his expertly hidden agenda.

genre. college!au, trailer!au, strangers to lovers!au, betrayal but soon get back together typa au cudndjdn 

warnings. nonee

a/n. as you can probably tell the idea came from the 30 seconds trailer trend on tiktok and i liked the concept so i wanted to try it out! this is my first time writing jisung HAHA other than that this is going to be a long ass ff so buckle up! :D 

“Did you know?”

I groaned as I heard Jaemin speak. “Dont tell me you have another mind blowing discovery fact that I just had to know.” I waved my hands around in the air jokingly as i kept my back towards Jaemin and continue writing my essay on my laptop.

I’ve been friends with Na Jaemin for a long time. Probably too long. Ever since I got to meet him in high school due to being in the same mathematics class and sitting next to each other almost everyday, it didn’t take the two us long to become close and soon, best friends.

Of course the two best friends decided to attend the same college together. At the very least, not all our classes were the same. The only class Jaemin and I signed up together was psychology, since we both shared an interest in that field. Apart from that, we went about pursuing our other interests. For me, it was modern dance while Jaemin decided to take some class about Geography, a subject I just seem to never come to like.

To top it off, we got a room in college together as well. Might seem weird to others since almost everyone shares a room with the same gender but then again, it felt completely normal for us.

On days like these where the two of us ended our classes around the same time, we would usually stay in for the day and just hang out.

“So you know how the room beside us is empty?” Jaemin sat up from his bed while I spun my chair around to face him. I rolled your eyes clearly at him, making him snicker.

“It’s not another ghost story i swear!” Jaemin lifted his arms up in the air in defence. I chuckled and raises my eyebrows, motioning him to continue and elaborate.

“I found out that a new student apparently enrolled.” Jaemin sayed nonchalantly, moving to the edge of the wall and letting his back lean on it.

I shrugged. “So?”

Jaemin folded his arms and gave me an unimpressed look.

“High chance he or she will move in next door.” Jaemin clicked his tongue. I turned my chair back to face my desk and resumed typing on my keyboard.

“Not to be rude, Jaemin, but that fact is practically irrelevant to me.” I mumbled, loud enough for him to hear. “Who knows?! He or she might get possessed by the spirit lingering in that room!” Jaemin retorted. I heard the bed creaking as he stood up and took two wide steps to reach my desk, his hand placed on the headrest of my chair and having him bent down beside me.

“You said this wasn't another ghost story.” I bore my eyes at Jaemin. I shook my head and pressed my finger down on the period key, signalling the end of my paragraph for today. I let out a sigh of satisfaction as I used my mouse to scroll through my essay, scanning over my sentences and paragraphs briefly before proceeding to shut down my laptop.

“I get that you hear banging on the walls but that happens in basically every apartment.” I added on, standing up from my chair and walking to the kitchen to find something to eat in the fridge. Jaemin followed closely behind me.

“Okay yes well apart from that...” Jaemin pauses for a moment while I went to the fridge and pulled out a packet of KitKat. As i peel the wrapper off, I jerk my head up with raised brows. “That...” I repeated his last word to signal him to finish his sentence. “We should make friends with him or her.”

I kept silent as I started to think about Jaemin’s idea. Making friends? It’s not my thing, never has either. The only person I would consider to be my friend is Jaemin. Other people whom i’ve met were just merely people I consider acquaintances. College was no different. Jaemin is clearly the more outgoing among the two of us. Having plenty of friends and quite high of a social status within the college. It was he who had to force me to socialise by bringing me to parties or outings with his friends, though the only group of friends he have that i seem to get along with decently are his hockey friends.

“I guess that’ll be okay?” I reply, the tone of doubt that i tried to hide away somehow shined through. Jaemin pat my head as I break the KitKat into two, unconsciously giving Jaemin the other half and taking a bite of mine. “It will be. Remember, I’m always there to guide you if you feel the awkwardness” Jaemin reassures me, lifting his half of the KitKat in the air before taking a bite. He grins happily, a feature of his I will never get tired of. His ray of sunshine and liveliness has always been a vital part of our friendship. I truly appreciate the fact that he always has a happy aura around him to get me through college.

“Do you know when the student’s moving in?” I ask, leaning my hip against the kitchen counter. Jaemin copied my posture and nodded his head. “I heard from Jeno that they’ll be moving in tomorrow.” Jaemin quickly finished his KitKat and washed his hand. I wasn’t even half done through my stick.

Shaking off the excess water on his hands, Jaemin walks back to the kitchen counter. “I’ll text you when I end for the day and we can meet him together.” I only shrug my shoulders in response, finally finishing the stick and throwing the plastic wrapper into the trashcan and washing my hands. I heard Jaemin’s footsteps going away from me as I assumed he went to the living room, hearing the television switching on.

I took my seat beside Jaemin as he opened up Netflix, browsing through different movies we could watch on our free day. “We can see his trailer as well. I really hope it’s not boring like many others.”

In my opinion, all the trailers of the people I came into contact with were really boring. It didn’t seemed to peak an interest in me and I overall felt that I wouldn’t be able to fit myself into their life as my life just didn’t seem to fit well with theirs. Jaemin was the only one who had a trailer whom I found interesting and I immediately thought that I could be close to him. Hence, becoming best friends.

“You’re just way too unique. Honestly when I saw your trailer it made me think Looks like I'm the only one who can fit into her lifestyle. And now look. I’m your only best friend.” I smacked Jaemin in the chest, making him let out a wince in pain. Lucky for him, he was used to my beatings and recovered right away.

I shook my head as a waved a finger in front of him. “Nuh-uh yours was as weird as mine. You don't know know how skeptical I was watching your trailer.” I retorted with a scoff.

I tried making myself comfortable while Jaemin was still browsing the movie section. With impatience taking over my body, I snatched the controller away from him and decided to choose a horror movie that had an interesting cover with an intriguing synopsis.

“Both our trailers were weird, and that’s why we’re a match made in heaven.”

“No shit, dork.” I lay my head on Jaemin’s shoulder as the two of us grew silent and paying our attention onto the tv screen.

Classes today went by as usual. Not surprised by the fact that I received my results for my History of Architecture test and earning an A+. It always felt so good when my hard work of staying up and having daily night long sessions of completing workload paid off. Well, it was mainly my determination but also Jaemin’s ability to get me my milk tea from Liho that pushed me through those sleepless nights.

I finally ended my last class. I was packing up my stuff when someone bumped into me, i assumed accidentally as he walked away without even reacting to the fact that he bumped into me and caused me to drop my pencil case and having my stationery falling out.

I scoffed in amusement. “Rude, much?” I mumbled to myself as I brought my gaze upwards from the floor to see the back of the person who caused me this mess.

He was wearing a black backpack and a black jean jacket which had green accents on it, along with black jeans and a pair of Classic Old Skool Vans. I creased my forehead as I quickly shrugged it off, not wanting to make a big deal out of it and went back to packing my bag.

“You sound annoyed. Sorry i guess.” My eyes blinked rapidly as I heard a voice. I knew from the guy who bumped into me as i heard his footsteps coming back to my direction.

It irritated me how he sounded arrogant and had a somewhat husky voice. Though I thought it was the kind of voice where the owner of it would be bright and lively like Jaemin, but dangerous once you anger them. I wanted to take a look at his face but he was soon out of my sight as he exited the classroom.

While i was walking out of class and making my way down the halls, I took out my phone and texted Jaemin to ask where he’s at. After not receiving a reply, which was odd since he has always been able to reply my texts in the matter of seconds, I only assumed he had an important matter to attend to or his class was being extended. So, I decided to head back to our room.

I unlocked the door and headed inside, tossing my bag onto the chair near my desk and throwing myself onto my bed, letting out a long sigh as i felt the comfort of my bed, grabbing my stuffed toy fox to indulge myself with even more comfort.

Bringing out my phone that I had in my hand, I got comfortable in my bed and started to play on my phone till Jaemin finally sent me a reply. I opened the chat instantly.

nAnA 😤🙄✌️: Hey sorry for not replying. Class got extended. I’m heading back to our room. You’re there right?

y/n: yeah i am. see you soon dork <3

I put my phone under my pillow as I look down to my fluffy stuffed toy fox. I got lost in its beaded eyes as i start wondering about how the person next door is like. More importantly, how his or her trailer would look like. What kind of moments would the trailer show that could describe their life story in 30 seconds?

My thoughts got cut off when i heard the door open, knowing it was Jaemin. He closes the door behind him and throws his bag off to the side of his bed and walking towards me to take a seat at the edge of my bed. I knew he was about to tell me about how we should be going to meet our new neighbour but before he opened his mouth, I lifted my hand up to put his words on hold.

“Do you even know what time he or she ends today?” I asked, sitting up straight and hugging my stuffed toy close to my chest.

“Firstly, it’s a male. Secondly, I found out that he’s in the same elective as Mark, he told me that it’s their last class for the day so they should be finished by now.” Jaemin rambled on as he glanced at the time on his phone’s home screen.

“You seriously have way too many connections with way too many people.”

Jaemim chuckled. “It’s not wrong to have connections that would never fail to benefit you.”

I shrugged and pushed Jaemin off my bed so i could get up, planting a quick kiss on my stuff toy before placing it neatly in front of my pillow. I looked towards the body length mirror in between the two beds to adjust my clothes. I then tilt my head up to Jaemin. “Shall we go then?”

Jaemin nodded. I grabbed my usual essentials as Jaemin opened the door for me and we headed out.

It only took us about 6 steps to reach the room where our unknown neighbour lies behind the door. However, I also started wondering if he’s even in his room or not. Who knows? He could be busy and hasn’t arrived yet.

Regardless, Jaemin took the initiative to knock on his door. The two of us could only wait silently as we didn’t seem to get an immediate answer. Jaemin bobbed his shoulders and knocked on the door one more time. We waited, again, longer than previously.

I was about to open your mouth to tell Jaemin that he’s probably not in his room until he puts a finger in front of me as he leaned towards the door. I paused my actions as I could hear footsteps from the other side of the door coming close.

Finally the door opens, revealing a blonde haired guy who looked like he had just woken up from his slumber. His eyes were half opened as he rubbed one of them with his hand while the other hand ran through his hair. He shakes his head as he widened his eyes to focus on the two strangers in front of him.

I scanned him up and down. Taking notes on his posture, actions and appearance. As my eyes went down, I took a look at his outfit. It matched to the guy who bumped into me at the end of class.

“Quinn?” He asked while he yawned. I tilted my head in confusion.

“Oh you know Quinn?” Jaemin asked back, surprised as he pointed his finger at you.

He looked taken aback for awhile trying to process the situation. I started wondering how he knew my name.

“Uh yeah. I’m in her Architecture class.”

“But how do you know-“

“I saw your name on your notebook when i bumped into you.”

Jaemin cocked an eyebrow as he noticed an unknown tension.

“So what’s your name? Im Na Jaemin, and as you know, she’s Quinn.” Jaemin introduced, his hand gesturing to me. I barely bowed my head to greet him. “Park Jisung.” Jisung introduced himself, shoving his hands into his pockets. It made a clear voiceless statement that he didn’t want to shake our hands or have any form of contact.

“We live next door to you so i guess we’ll be seeing each other often. Especially Quinn.”

Jisung doesn’t reply, constantly switching gazes between me and Jaemin, probably having the same idea as us. Jaemin however was the first one to speak up. “Could we... perhaps watch your trailer?”

“I’d like to see yours as well.” Jisung jerks in head towards us. Jaemin and I nodded, proceeding to do the same actions as Jisung to reveal our trailers.

Putting his index and middle finger in the air, he places them beside his head and swiftly bends it forward slightly. That resulted in a see through screen popping up from his head.

Jisung watched Jaemin’s trailer first, reaching his hand out towards his screen and pressing the play button.

Jaemin and I exchanged glances before clicking on the play button for Jisung’s 30 second trailer to begin.

While Jisung was looking at Jaemin’s trailer, I noticed a few things.

Honestly speaking, what i was seeing in the trailer didnt exactly match the person whose standing in front of me. The trailer showed a lot of moments where he smiled, eyes forming into a thin line and a scrunched up nose whenever he does. It showed him doing what I assumed to be hobbies like dancing and playing video games.

I thought about how Jisung and I have a common love for dance, something I hold dearly and thought it would be a great way to get close to him. I just have that common connection with dancers, since they know things about dance that's unique which others don't.

I only saw one group of friends around him. They seemed like the group of friends who are always chaotic and would have play fights with each other almost every second, but that was what showed me that Jisung had a close relationship with them. It was heartwarming to watch.

I also saw him trying to cook in the kitchen. I see a few of the same friends in the kitchen with him. Only one of them seemed decent in cooking while Jisung was practically clueless. It made me laugh softly. I found it cute how he’s dorky and clueless.

As i finished watching the trailer, taking into account all the moments that showed who Jisung really is, he seemed like someone i could vibe with. Someone I could possibly be my quirky crazy self like how I am around Jaemin. The person in front of me may not seem like the one in the trailer, but it made me think that he’s like me, someone who can't open up to others at first glance.

When Jaemin knews that Jisung has completed his trailer, Jaemin gave a questioning look towards him. “So how’s my trailer?”

“You’re weird, looked drunk most of the time but i assume its due to the coffee that you consume an unhealthy amount of everyday.”

Jaemin laughs nervously. “But I like you, don't worry.”

I saw Jisung’s smiling. The warm smile I saw in the trailer.

The next trailer he had to watch was mine. For some reason, I felt nervous thinking about all his possible reactions. Would he be fine with it? Would he be disgusted or irritated by the moments in my trailer. Will he not think that I would be able to make good friends with him like how I thought about him?

I guess my nervousness showed through my actions when i felt Jaemin patting the lower part of my back. I turn towards Jaemin who nodded his head to show a sign to reassurance as Jisung extended his hand to play my trailer.

Jisung’s reaction was skeptical. Some parts had him make a soft smile, which was great while other times he had a serious and judgy expression. It looked like reactions that you made while watching other people’s trailers.

30 seconds went by fast and the see through screens above our heads all dissolved into thin air at the same time. “What do you think? Wanna hang out with us more?” I brushed a few strands of hair behind my ear.

Jisung hummed softly. “Sure, looks like i'll have fun with you guys.”

Jaemin and I grin in unison. At least I finally had someone whom I might be able to consider my friend. It was too quick to assume that, but I just have a feeling and Jisung and I would get along pretty well.

As time flew by, Jisung started to get closer and closer to me and Jaemin. More so to me. After a day out where the three of us went to check out a new restaurant that just opened a few blocks away, Jisung started to invite me to go out with him alone. I felt a little bad on our days out since it meant for Jaemin to be excluded, but he was always cool with him, opting to stay in the room or hanging out with his other groups of friends.

Today on a Saturday night was no different.

“You heading out with Jisung again?” I hummed in reply as Jaemin appeared behind me. Only his chest down could be seen in the mirror in front of me as i wore my earrings while sitting down at my dressing table.

“Where to this time? You seem to be dressing up classier than usual.” Jaemin commented, brushing my hair through his hands gently as he took a good look at my outfit and makeup.

I looked at him in the mirror, letting out a soft, “I don't know.” Jaemin’s eyebrow twitches as he looked as me with suspicion. 

Jaemin leaned forward, his face alighting with mine side by side. “He better not do shit to you, or else I’m killing him.” Jaemin’s eyes grew dark and his voice became low and husky. I shivered, not seeing this side of Jaemin often since I was never in a situation where he had to be protective. 

I turned my head to the side and push his face away, earning a frown from Jaemin. “I’m going to fine. He said he wanted to surprise me so...” I shrugged, standing up from the dressing table and packing my essentials up in a small sling bag.

“Got any plans tonight?” I asked Jaemin as I slid my phone into my back pocket.

Jaemin bobbed his shoulders with a slight smile on his face. “I might be going out with someone.” Jaemin whispers softly, looking down and fidgeting with his feet. 

I smirked widely. It was no doubt the suspicion in my mind was right. “Keep me updated on her, alright? Have fun!” I said to Jaemin as I checked the things in my sling bag one last time and winking at Jaemin playfully to which he responded with a chuckle before exiting the room. 

Jisung and I have been walking down a street for awhile now. I was met with unknown shops left and right. Clearly this place was quite secluded and out of public view. Despite me exploring the town near college, it was only now that i found out this place existed thanks to Jisung.

“Just where are you taking me?” I asked with a soft laugh. 

Jisung suddenly stopped in his tracks and swung his body to face me. I tilted my head at his sudden behaviour. Jisung motioned to a shop on the left. I looked towards Jisung’s direction. It didn't have a sign above it nor a window where i could see what was inside. “Come on. I’ll show you.” Jisung interlocked his fingers with mine, something we have grown to do as friends. Our friendship eventually grew to be more physical as time went on. 

Jisung opened the door ahead for me, gesturing me to walk in. As i stepped inside, my mouth gaped open. The shop was filled with books. Book on shelves, on tables for display. It was like I entered paradise made for me. I flashed a wide smile over to Jisung, who tightened his grip on my hand. 

“I knew how much you liked reading. So I did some research and found this place. I heard all the books have been hand picked by the owner.” 

I didnt reply, only laughing in excitement as I looked around the tiny shop, immediately going to a random shelve and picking out a book that had an interesting cover. 

While reading the synopsis behind a book, I whispered softly, “Why bring me here when it’s not your place of interest?” 

Jisung breathed sharply as he let out a quick sigh. “I wanted to do something for you. That’s all.” Jisung replied simply, shrugging as if what he did was just a small gesture. I, however, thought it was a huge gesture. It showed me that he cared. The fact that he went to research for a place I have never heard of and would like.

“Ever heard of The Wrath and the Dawn?,” I asked, pulling it out from the shelve immediately when I recognised its spine. Jisung shook his head. I chuckle, passing the book to Jisung. He took it into his hands, not sure what to do with it. 

“Read it. I know you don't like reading, but this book really changed things for me.” Jisung hummed, holding the book up in the air with a subtle smile. 

I browsed through the store, quickly picking out two books that seemed interesting to me as I didn't want to bore Jisung any longer by having to put up with me checking every book in the store. 

Just as I was about to take out cash from my wallet, Jisung placed a hand on mine that was in my wallet. I looked up to meet Jisung’s eyes.

“I’ll pay.” 

“But you pay for everything on every single outing we went together-”

“You know you cant fight me on this. Put the wallet away.” 

I pouted, making him let out a laugh as I slid my wallet back into my sling bag. He payed for the three books, two of mine and the book I recommended him to read. I took a good look at him while he had a small chat with the cashier and owner. 

The way he smiled and laugh. I started to think about the times I’ve spent with Jisung. The fact that I was able to open up to him quickly and have conversations I never thought i would have after meeting someone after less than a year. The deep conversations we would have, in person or on the phone late at night while Jaemin was asleep. He saw me in states where i felt all the more cautious about. My intense breakdowns due to stress which could only be treated with Jaemin’s comfort as well as kind words that had immense impact from Jisung over the phone. We shared dark secrets as well. Looking back at these moments made me felt something I never did. It was similar to how i felt towards Jaemin, but very different. 

“Quinn?” My thoughts were cut off with Jisung’s voice. I shook my head off the thoughts and proceeded to head out of the shop, offering to carry the books but of course Jisung insisted on holding them. 

We decided to head back to college grounds and hang out in Jisung’s room. The place was secluded and dimly lit, only the library was opened for students who wanted to study there overnight. 

“Can i ask something?” Jisung paused the video about the funny moments of Seventeen on his laptop, turning his is body to face me. “Hm?” I let out, frowning at the fact that he paused the video at my favourite part. 

“Have you ever been in love?” 

A question I have never had a proper encounter of it. I hugged my knees near my chest as I took a sip of iced peach tea in a can that we got from a vending machine near the cafeteria. “I don't think so? I did date Jaemin once, but we were kids and barely knew what love was.”

I let out a soft sigh, “I’m still unsure of it... even now.”

Jisung flashed me a subtle smile. I felt soothed by just that. “Never did I, either.” He pauses for a moment before continuing. 

“But if I had to guess... I’d say that love is a feeling where you feel yourself wanting to be better around that particular person. You start to act so dumb around them to make them laugh and you start finding out what they like and dislike, to make sure all that person could feel were butterflies and rainbows.”

I started to think about his words. Butterflies and rainbows. Something I’ve always felt whenever I’m with Jisung. No matter what state of emotion I was in, it felt as if he knew me well and knew what to do to make me feel better. I started to find myself wanting to look better around him, dressing up to make myself more presentable as usual. I even have his Liho order etched into my mind every time we went to Liho to get milk teas. 

“And you know what’s funny?” 

“What?”

Jisung took in a deep breath before letting out a loud sigh, chuckling to himself as he shook his head, his blonde fringe falling down his forehead to frame his face perfectly. 

“The fact that I feel all those things whenever I’m with you.”

I froze in my spot with my muscles suddenly becoming stiff. My mind went blank as his words were repeated. How do i even react? What do I say? Do i tell him I feel the same? But that would mean he thinks I like him and I should be in a relationship with him but I’m clearly not prepared for that yet.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

My frown deepened. I wanted to say something. I couldn’t just leave his words hanging with no proper conclusion to the conversation. It was sort of my habit to have everything laid on the table so I could get a clear look at the situation.

“I feel the same... but I’m scared of getting involved in a relationship.”

I watched as Jisung forced a smile. I knew it was forced. This smile was different from the one he would have every time he take a bite of his favourite chocolate ice cream. He nodded his head, telling me that he understood my feelings.

“I get it. We’ve only been friends for less than a year. When i watched your trailer, I had a feeling you weren’t one for relationships.”

I was about to open my mouth to speak, but my words were stuck in my throat. A second passed before I could form my sentence properly. “I mean I’m open to it but you’re kind of right. I want to give us more time.”

I heard him sigh. I could tell he was disheartened yet he’s trying his best to stay together. I felt a sharp pain in my heart as he chuckled to himself.

“It’s fine. I can wait. Just as long as I’m not waiting for nothing.”

I could purse my lips into a thin line. Slowly but surely, I brough my hand up to brush away strands of hair that covered his eyes. He lifts his eyes up, but they were unable to meet mine.

“I promise. I see myself with you in the future.”

“Quinn~” Jaemin called out to me while i was playing with my phone while laying down on my bed.

“What?” I asked, my back still facing him.

I heard Jaemin’s bed creak as he stood up to take a seat at the edge of my bed. He gently places a hand on my head and caress my hair. I turned my body and looked up to face him, obviously weirded out by how nice he was being.

“Are you seriously babying me so that I would go to the frat party?” I rolled my eyes. Jaemin’s intentions were always too obvious whenever he gets all soft and sweet with me.

As Jaemin is my best friend, I knew his habits. One of them being that if I didn't agree with him on something, he would pamper me as much as possible as a way to convince me with anything that was on his mind. And with his puppy dog eyes and cuteness, you could imagine how hard it was for me not to fall for his trap.

“Yes, yes I am.” I gave Jaemin a look of disinterest. He knows I dislike going to parties. And he knows how hard it is to persuade me to go. Yet he never gave up. The next thing he said however, intrigued me immediately and started to take his idea into consideration.

“Jisung’s gonna be there.” Jaemin shrugged, trying to act nonchalant but I knew he was thinking about how he’s winning me over. I blinked my eyes once as i gave a blank expression. I then pouted my lips and sat up straight. Jaemin’s eyes literally sparkled the moment I did so. 

“When is it?” I heaved a sigh in defeat, rubbing my face with my right hand. “This Sunday.” Jaemin answered immediately out of excitement. 

Though I had my focus on the conversation with Jaemin, my mind also wondered off to thinking about food. I was seriously craving take out right now. “It’ll be fun! Come on, we’ve just finished out exams. You’ve been stressed enough. You should go out more.” Jaemin added on. 

While listening to Jaemin talk, I opened the app Grab Food on my phone. As i scrolled through the different places near the college and browsing through different menus, Jaemin let out a quick, “Plus, it was Jisung’s idea to invite you.”

“Did he now?” 

Jaemin hummed as he leaned near me to have a peek of my phone. “Take out?” He asked, with his tone was bright and happy. I nodded my head. 

“We seriously think so alike.” I gave Jaemin a subtle smile before Jaemin and I ended up looking through the menus together. While Jaemin decided on what to order, I couldn't help but feel somewhat nervous about the party on Sunday. Would I really be fine? I’ll have Jaemin, though I assume he can't be around me 24/7 due to his social nature. The only hope I had that would best help me get through the night was Jisung. 

Jaemin and I entered the frat party. And I already hate it here. I wasn't even five steps in when a stranger hands me a red plastic cup filled with beer. The huge crowd and very limited space, the loud banging music, though I only appreciate listening to them on my earphones and the amount of talking and screaming that filled the room. Of course it had to be topped off with the reeking smell of alcohol. 

“I’ll find Jisung for you, alright? I’m going to meet my hockey friends after.” Jaemin said, keeping his arm around you shoulder to make sure you were close and protected near him. 

I only nodded nervously. I honestly wished I could just magically vanish myself out of here and in the room with a book. But I never want to disappoint Jaemin by leaving the party that he tried so desperately for me to come, so I made a clear decision in my head to put up with it and prayed that nothing would happen to me.

Jaemin kept me very close as we walked through the crowd, people bumping into at every direction. “Jisung-ah!” Jaemin shouted. Jisung didn’t seem to hear his call. He was about to shout again when out of nowhere, one of Jaemin’s friends pulled him away from me. I opened my mouth, wanting to call out to him but he soon disappeared into the crowd. I did however see his hand waving up high above the crowd and giving me a hand sign of a phone to signal me to call him if anything happened. 

I groaned and rolled my eyes, looking down at the cup of beer in my hands. Shrugging, I took a small sip. I wasn't much of a drinker, but tonight - tonight was the only exception, using alcohol as a way to release the pent up stress that have been bottling up inside me during the exams. 

“Hi!” I suddenly heard. I turned my back to see who it was. Oh no, was all i thought as I stared at the girl whom I dislike. The girl who broke Jaemin’s heart. 

“Hey, Ji A” I mumbled back. I tried to give her a half-smile. I felt myself tensing up at the thought of starting a conversation with someone I held a slight grudge against. 

“What do you think of the party?” I blinked at her. I kept quiet for a moment before answering with a soft. “It’s fine.” 

I was about to burst if she ever think she can hold a conversation with me right now. She knew very well what she did to Jaemin, as well as the fact that I’m his best friend. I couldn't get how she could act as if nothing happened in the past and putting it all behind her like it meant nothing and did not result in a single impact on her. 

“I was thinking about asking you if you wanna-”

“Hey, baby.” I heard the familiar voice that made me let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Baby? That’s definitely a first. 

I felt Jisung’s arm slide around my waist swiftly as he pulled me close. I would be lying if I said that my heart didn’t quickened as butterflies started fluttering in the bottom of my stomach. I only prayed that my cheeks were not blushing a bright pink. To make matters worse, Jisung leaned down to plant a quick kiss on the side of my eye as he fakely smiled towards Ji A.

“You need another drink, don’t you?” I looked up at Jisung, slightly confused. As he raised his eyebrows and jerked his head slightly, I immediately received his signal that told me to play along as he sent some telepathy message that he was trying to save me from my uncomfortable situation with Ji A.  “Uh... y-yeah of course.” 

“Sorry but please excuse us. We’re going to be a little busy upstairs soon.” 

I wasn't sure if this was the real Jisung, or the alcohol that I assumed he has consumed to be talking. I was definitely shocked by how bold he was since he has always seemed to be the shy type to me. 

Ji A looked at us with a smug face, clicking her tongue and huffing in amusement. “Sure, go ahead, Have fun.” She said with annoyance before walking away with her arms folded. Jisung kept his hand on my waist, not to tightly nor loosely either as he led me to a space in the house that was away fro the large crowd that was gathering for who knows what reason. 

“You seem to not like that girl.” Jisung bent down to whispered near my ear in an attempt to overpower the loud music in the background. I pursed my lips into a thin line and hummed. “If there’s anyone I would throw under a bus, it would be her.” 

Jisung replied with a smile and a chuckle. “I know you have plenty of other people you would like to do that to.” And it was true. Due to my judgy nature, I would judge anyone that came into my sight. And if i sensed that I didn’t like their attitude, I would never fail to whisper to Jisung or Jaemin that i dislike them at first glance. 

“Did you drink?” I asked Jisung, noticing how his breath reeked of beer yet he was his usual self. “Yeah. Had a few but I have a high tolerance.” My mouth formed an ‘ah’ as i nodded. 

Out of the blue, Jisung spun my around, this time placing both his hands on my waist as my body was now facing his. Not to mention there wasn't a single inch of space between our chests’. 

“You look cute whenever you’re pissed.”

I rolled my eyes, faking my exasperation. “Ho ho wanna see some real annoyance?” I raised both my eyebrows as I gave Jisung an intimidating smile. Jisung shook his head, looking down before matching my gaze with his again. “Please save that for tomorrow.” 

I laughed softly. Jisung then looked around the house, as if trying to find someone. He lets out a soft “Ah. Found them.” I hummed as I looked around as well, wondering who he found. 

Jisung released on hand from my waist and walked me over to a group of guys. My vision only became clear when the crowd that was blocking my view went away, revealing Jaemin as well as his group of hockey friends. I smiled at the familiar faces before me as they all shouted my name and urged Jisung and I to seat with them.

“You know them?”

Jisung only shrugged, taking a seat beside Mark and gesturing me to sit down next to him. “I met them through Jaemin.” I looked over to Jaemin, who was laughing hysterically and punching Winwin’s arm, who immediately turned to him to fight back. Clearly they were drunk. I wasn’t surprised at all.

I laughed when I turned my attention over to Jaehyun, the guy in my Psychology class. The way he only sat there, unbothered by the chaos surrounding him radiated couldn’t care less energy.

“You guys seem pretty drunk.” I commented.

Jaehyun chuckled lowly and tilted his head to Jaemin and Winwin who were fighting, eventually having Lucas joining in as well, along with Taeyong trying his best to keep the situation at bay but has soon given up. “You think?”

I let out a long sigh as the little sips of alcohol I have been taking from the moment I stepped in until now started to kick in. My head started to get dizzy as my vision became slightly blurred.

I lay my head down on Jisung’s shoulder. I felt Jisung’s eyes on me. “You need to go to a room or something?” Jisung whispered. I frowned.

“You think i should?” I mumbled softly with my head turning in multiple directions to find a comfortable position on the crook of Jisung’s neck. I breathed in his scent. You would think his body smelt like alcohol but his perfume was still standing strong, putting me at ease.

Jisung tightened his grip around ms, pulling me closer so that my body layed comfortably on his.

I could tell that the others, especially Jaemin were worried about me when he shouted a, “Bro she good?” to Jisung.

“She can use my room if you wan-“

“I’ll take her back to her room.” Jisung cut Jaehyun off. My eyes were now half opened as I saw Jaemin tossing the room key to Jisung, who caught it swiftly.

“Take care of her.” Was the last thing I heard before fully closing my eyes and passing out.

I woke up, taking awhile to process my surroundings due to the banging in my head from all the alcohol. As I took into consideration the items and furniture of the room, I quickly concluded that I was in Jisung’s room. Jisung, however, was nowhere to be seen.

I patted my hands at the space around me, desperately trying to find my phone. I eventually found it within the covers, pulling it out and looking at the time on my lockscreen. 4:16 AM. I stared at the time. Where was Jisung at this timing? Could he still be at the party?

I tried recalling what happened before I passed out and remembered that Jisung was about to bring me to his room. So what i remembered was practically useless and didn’t benefit me in knowing Jisung’s current location. Great.

I groaned as I pressed a hand on my head, praying to God that my headache would come to an end soon. Though I highly doubt that as I knew from my past experiences of getting drunk that it takes me a very long time to sober up, meaning that I predicted that I would be in a hangover for quite some time.

I heard the door open. My eyes remained on the bedsheets as I assumed it was Jisung who entered the room. My assumption was soon proven wrong when I heard the sound of high heels clacking against the wooden floor, the sound coming closer and closer to me.

I looked up and tried my best to adjust my vision as I squinted my eyes. The figure, poster and clothes. Without a doubt, it was Ji A.

“So he left you here with the door unlocked and no one protecting you? Not surprised.”

“What?” I whispered, raising an eyebrow at Ji A. Just what was she doing here? How did she know where Jisung’s room was? What does she want from me?

“Hey. Lemme tell you one thing while I can tell you’re still hungover.” Ji A placed her weight on one leg as she puts a hand on her waist. I started feeling irritated again, but I was way too weak to even bother putting up a fight.

Ji A bent down to meet my eye level. The signature smirk that lit a fire in me appeared on her lips as her eyes looking down on me unsympathetically.

“You ever wonder why Jisung has been way too nice to you? How he was been nothing but perfect in the way he treated you and how you two just never seem to have gotten into a fight once in your single year of friendship?”

I used one hand to rub my face. What is Ji A going on about?

I took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry?”

“Buckle up, honey. All the butterflies and rainbows you have been experiencing with him will all be ruined by a storm he’ll be sending in not too long from now.” I heard Ji A chuckle in a devil-like manner.

As I started to process her words, my thoughts became clear and my suspicion started to peak. “The fuck are you talking about, Ji A?” I asked as I cleared my throat. I didn’t get a reply as I watch her laugh and leaving the room.

I scratched my head furiously as I tried digging further into her words to find the true meaning behind it. Was she trying to threaten me? What “storm” was Jisung about to bring upon me? As more questions filled my mind, I found it too much for my hungover state to take in. I ended up falling asleep after looking at my phone meaninglessly.

I felt a finger or two gliding over my jawline. My eyes were closed but I immediately sensed that Jisung was sitting at the edge of the bed. I fluttered my eyes open as Jisung came into my view.

“Sweetheart, how you feeling?” Jisung asked in his gentle, calming voice that always helped to soothe me. Oddly this time, it didn’t. And I knew it was because of the weird encounter I had with Ji A before I went back to sleep.

I sat up from bed weakly, falling back slightly but having Jisung hold me up and I shook my head, placing my hand on the back of my neck.

“Hey, you need to rest.” Jisung said, trying to put my body back down on the bed but I fought back. Ji A’s words about Jisung started to repeat itself in my head. Out of pure distrust that I suddenly developed towards Jisung, I pushed him away and forced myself to stand up.

I saw Jisung standing up and holding his hands out, getting ready to catch me in case I fall while I staggered to the door. “Get back in bed. I bought hangover soup for you-“

“Just...” I placed my hand on the doorknob, turning my head around to face Jisung who had an extremely worried look on his face. “Just get away from me.” I whispered, twisting the doorknob and pushing the door.

I headed out of Jisung’s room and made my way over to mine. Before I could open my door, I heard Jisung’s footsteps coming towards me as he stopped me with a hand on my wrist. “What’s wrong? D-did something happen?” Jisung stuttered, surprised by my sudden attitude towards him.

I yanked his hand off me and opened the door, seeing Jaemin on his bed with widened eyes as he saw my weak body at the door. He rushed over to me. “Quinn? Jisung...”

“Get the hell out of my sight, Jisung.” I raised my voice ever so slightly. Jaemin heard my words and furrowed his eyebrows towards Jisung.

“The fuck did you do to her?” Jaemin asked, his tone growing dark and intimidating.

“I-I dont know she just woke up and told me to back off-“

“I’m finding out what you did to her. And once I do, it’s game over for you.” Jaemin threatened Jisung as he brought me in by supporting my body with his hand around my waist and closing the door quietly in consideration of the state I was in.

Jaemin carried me to my bed and placed me down gently. I rubbed my eyes with my hands as I looked up to Jaemin, who had his arms folded and standing still.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Jaemin asked, his voice becoming soft and gentle as he took a seat on my bed. I sat up from the bed and placed my head on his lap, my head digging into his chest.

“Not now... please.” My voice got muffle as tears started to flow out of my eyes. As much as I want to hide it, my body didn’t let me. Jaemin felt his shirt getting wet and immediately started to caress my head slowly, letting out a soft, “Sh sh..” to calm me down. I continued to sob and cry as I got vulnerable in Jaemin’s embrace, eventually crying myself to sleep, wanting to forget everything that happened before and needing to rest my mind for at least a few hours.

I woke up once again. This time, the sunlight that shined through the thin curtains of the room made me wince as I looked at my surroundings which has now became fully clear.

I realised I was still laying my head on Jaemin’s lap. I noticed how he was in an uncomfortable position with his back against the wall and his head hanging downwards. I sat up and poked his shoulder in an attempt to wake him up. Luckily it worked and Jaemin rubbed his eyes before fully opening them and looking at the side to face me.

“Your eyes are all puffy, love.” Jaemin said with a subtle smile, reaching his hand out and gently brushing his thumb over the bottom of my eyes. I chuckled softly. “Did I cry that much last night?” Jaemin nodded. I let out a long sigh.

“Care to tell me what happened last night with Jisung?” Jaemin motioned me to get close to him. I got near and wrapped my arms around him as I was indulged in his cuddles. “I was at Jisung’s room. I don't know why he wasn’t there, but suddenly Ji A came into the room.”

I could tell Jaemin was taken aback since he didn’t give an immediate reply. “Ji A?” He finally spoke. I hummed in reply. Jaemin clicked his tongue and kept silent. He was thinking about his past relationship with Ji A but still signaled me to continue the story.

“For some reason, she threatened me. She said that my relationship with Jisung is going to get wrecked soon. I don't know what she meant by that.” Jaemin eyes started to fill with anger as I felt him balling his first against my shirt. Though he tried to stay calm and wanting to make me feel better is his top priority , I could tell he was furious. “The bitch really did that?” Jaemin muttered, running a hand through his hair.

“Wait how did she even know where Jisung’s room was?” I suddenly question as I started to get deep in my thoughts. That fact was odd, but the answer was obvious. “Those two probably knew each other.” Jaemin quickly replied. 

Does a 30 second trailer really tell me everything I need to know about a person? That question started to resonate in my head now that I thought of what Jisung could be doing. I started to think whether is actions were pure and sincere. Could there be a hidden agenda as to why he’s been oh so nice to me just like Ji A said? She could have told me that just to make me feel insecure. But at the same time, what if it was true?

“Tell me what to do, Nana. I seriously don't know what to think right now.” I whined to Jaemin, whose face was as still stern and scary after I mentioned Ji A.

“Maybe act normal around him first, like nothing happened. While I go spying on him and Ji A.” Jaemin said with a wide smirk. I immediately laughed, giving him a light smack on his chest. “You can’t be serious.” I said back, shaking my head.

Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows and pouted. “Hello! We can’t ask Jisung straight up. We need to be discreet.” Jaemin jokes. I swear Jaemin could make me laugh at his dorkiness in any situation. 

“I might just ignore him, to be honest. I’ve been hanging out with him too much. I want to spend more time with you.” I said, reaching my hand out to ruffle Jaemin’s perfectly soft hair. 

Jaemin gave me a few pats on my back. “Good that you’ve realised it now. I’ve been lonely without you.” I gave a subtle yet sincere smile. 

-

I cocked an eyebrow at Jaehyun’s words. What is he even thinking?

Jaehyun leaned in close, looking around to check if anyone’s watching. “Jisung keeps pressuring me to tell you to talk to him and I know you’re avoiding him but I can’t take it no more.” He grumbled. I placed a hand on my forehead and let out a long sigh. “Tell him to give up.” was all I said as I heard the professor slamming the door shut and getting everyone’s attention in a matter of seconds. 

A week has passed now without Jisung. And although I have Jaemin with me, it felt like I was missing something. It just didn’t feel right with him around. Being away from him made me look at the big picture. I’m deeply in love with him. I could deny that fact all I want but I’ll never be able to get away from it. I missed every part of him. His scent, laughter, smiles, the way I felt so right with him. But I also thought of my trust towards Jisung that was slowly deteriorating. I’ve been receiving constant texts and calls from Jisung, but I didn't reply, only using my anger as a way to keep myself from replying to his texts or picking up his calls. 

“Yo your guy here is starving and craving Subway.” Jaemin shouted out while laying on his bed. I was in deep concentration while in a PUBG Mobile match. “Order us something, will you? I’m kinda busy.” I muttered. 

“I was thinking of buying it downstairs. I need to walk around a little.” Jaemin stood up from his bed and stretched out his arms, groaning in the process. “Yeah sure, have fun.” 

Jaemin went over to my bed and take a peek of my phone. “Okay firstly, why didn’t you invite me? Secondly, you know I’m not going without you. Come on.” He suddenly said, grabbing onto my arm and dragging me out while I was still concentrated in the match.

As Jaemin and I walked down the halls to get to food area where there were different fast food shops, including Subway, my eyes were kept on the screen as I feel Jaemin’s eyes on me and my phone, watching the match intensively. 

“Oi! Kill him!” Jaemin shouted and constantly tapped my shoulder.

“I’m trying, idiot!” I shouted back. I realised we were already at Subway as Jaemin pushed the door open for me, his eyes still glued on my screen.

I quickly took a random seat that faced the door while Jaemin sat next to me. “Ah fuck!” I screamed, not too loud as I didn’t want the other customers to look at me as I died in the match.

Jaemin and I groaned at the same time as I slammed my phone on the table while Jaemin shaked his head. 

“You can never win without me now can you?” Jaemin said with a cunning smirk. I punched his shoulder. “Shut up.” 

“Alright, hurry up. Invite me.” Jaemin said. I looked down at his phone to see that he was already in the app. “Damn, you’re quick.” Jaemin shrugged nonchalantly. 

While Jaemin and I started the match and were playing together, I heard the door open. I didn’t really thought anything about it until I saw a figure at that was unrecognisable from my point of view. I took a quick look at the person, not thinking who it was and assumed it was a stranger. “Sorry this table’s taken.” I said simply. 

“How long are you going to keep ignoring me, Quinn?”

Jaemin and I shot our heads up at the same time, knowing that familiar voice belonged to Jisung. He had a really concerned look in his eyes with a small frown. Jaemin scoffed, putting his phone down and leaning in with his elbows against the table. “She doesn’t want to see you. I’m sure she’s made that pretty clear.” 

I placed my phone screen faced down on the table, unable to meet Jisung’s eyes. “No. I have to talk to her. Quinn please.” Jisung pleaded with soft eyes. I glanced over to Jaemin who bobbed his shoulders as a way to tell me it was my decision to talk to him or not. I let out a long sigh and nodded reluctantly. 

Jisung placed his hand on my wrist and dragged me out. I took on one last look at Jaemin who mouthed out, “Be careful, love.” i could only take a deep breath as Jisung dragged me to a secluded seating area. 

Jisung sat me down and sat on the opposite side. He had his arms interlocked on the table while i tapped my hands on my thighs. “Please tell me why you’re doing this to me..” Jisung whispered. 

I glanced at another direction before gathering up courage to look at Jisung. Fuck those eyes. The sweet eyes of Jisung that could mesmerise anyone if he wanted to. “What are you and Ji A?” I asked sternly. 

“We’re just friends, mere acquaintances.” Jisung immediately replied with no hesitation.

“Then how did she know where was your room?”

Jisung opened his mouth to reply but not a single sound came out for a moment.

“I’m sorry?”

“I woke up in your room. You were nowhere to be seen. The door was unlocked and Ji A came in. She fucking threatened me saying that my relationship with you would go bad.” 

“I- wait how did she-”

“Please don’t act. Stop all this bullshit you’re trying to pull.” I cut Jisung off. 

I exhaled sharply. “Your 30 second trailer. Was it even real? What are you hiding from me?”

Jisung puffed his chest a little before running a hand down his face. “I...” I waited impatiently for him to gather the words he needed to explain what was about to be said next that completely shocked me. 

“I made a bet with Ji A during a party. She said I have to make you fall for me to prove that I’m capable of being in a relationship.” 

My mouth practically could fit a whole burger at how large it gaped open as I scoffed in astonishment. I slammed both my hands down on the table that was placed on my thighs before. 

“So what? I was just some bet to you? I didn’t mean two fucks to you, huh? I should have known. You were too nice from the start. Fuck you. Gosh I didn’t know it was possible to lie in your trailer.” I said, adding a hint of sarcasm at the end. 

“Wait Quinn please calm down I can explain-”

“You already did. I’ve known enough.” I stood up from my seat and took a full ninety degree turn to find Jaemin right in front of me, looking towards Jisung with angered eyes. 

Jaemin rushed over to Jisung and grabbed him by his collar, lifting him up slightly from his seat. I tried pulling Jaemin away, only wanting to get away from Jisung but Jaemin pushed me back. “A bet? You played my best friend friend just for a bet to keep your pride? God you’re low.” Jaemin pushed Jisung back down on his seat violently. 

Jaemin leaned in, his hands firm on the table as Jisung backed himself away ever so slightly. 

“Stay the fuck away from Quinn here on out. You fucked up, big time. Don’t show up in front of us ever again. You don’t deserve her at all.” Jaemin gave Jisung a clear and taunted warning before grabbing me by the wrist and walking us away. 

Jaemin doesn’t say a word when Jaemin walked us back to our room, immediately closing the door in front of us. “He’s a dickhead for doing that to you.” He muttered and he quickly sat down on his bed. I walked over and sat on mine, heaving out a long sigh. “Are you gonna cry again?” I heard Jaemin ask. I shook my head.

“I’m done crying. I feel pissed. Can I somehow constantly slam his tongue on a car door?” Jaemin couldn’t help but laugh. “It’ll be more fun to slam his head against the wall.” He added. The two of us laughed but the room grew quiet quickly. 

“Wait isn’t our trailer suppose to show our true intentions we have with the person watching it? How did I miss such a huge thing?” I asked Jaemin. 

“I’ve heard a rumour of people altering their trailers. I never thought people actually do it.” Jaemin inhaled and exhaled sharply. 

“Fuck it. I just don’t want to see him anymore. End of year exams are coming. I can’t let shit like this get in the way.” I said with determination. Jaemin nodded. 

-

The end of the year soon came. Our results were handed out this week and we could finally have some break time for Christmas. Students were allowed to leave college and celebrate with their families. However, for me and Jaemin, we decided to stay together this Christmas, opting to video call our loved ones to keep in touch. 

“This place is so creepy with not many people here.” Jaemin spoke as we decided to walk around the college campus for the fun of it. 

I shoved my hands into my padded jacket, letting out a sigh as smoke came out of my mouth. It was very cold this winter, but it seemed that snow has yet to fall. “I’m so glad we’re done for this year.” I whispered.

“Two more years till we graduate.” I added, looking at the shops that were closed and noticed that only the vending machine was working. 

“Please don’t tell me-”

“Let’s go ghost hunting!” I laughed out loudly as I walked over to the vending machine. “Very funny, Jaemin.” I took out a one dollar coin from my wallet and placed in in the slot of the vending machine. Pressing on the drink I wanted, I waited for it to be dispensed. 

I soon heard the canned drink and pick it up from the bottom slot. I looked at Jaemin who was staring at my drink. I shoved it towards his chest. “Open it.” Jaemin smiled and cracked open the top, drinking down a few gulps before handing the drink back to me. 

“When do you think the snow is coming?” I asked Jaemin. I’ve always been fond of snow ever since I was little, playing in the snow by myself was what I did everyday. 

Jaemin only shrugged and looked up into the sky. I did the same as well. “I’ll pray that it’ll come soon for you.” 

I reached my hand out and ruffled his hair. “A thoughtful prince indeed.” I said with a subtle smile. 

“Oh wait! What happened with the girl you were talking to back then?” I asked as the thought suddenly popped up in my mind. In the midst of whatever was happening between Jisung and I as well as the exams, I completely forgot about it.

“Eh I don’t like her. She’s not like you.” Jaemin shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Your girlfriend isn’t suppose to be like me.” I commented. 

“They say your significant other should have the same qualities as your best friend so that you two can click immediately.” 

I shook my head. “Yeah, yeah.” I waved my hand in the air lazily. 

“Hey guys..” I suddenly heard. Jaemin and I turned around, taking in a deep breathe in unison. 

“Jisung.” Jaemin greeted with an uninterested look. Jisung bowed his head slightly at Jaemin before turning to me. “I thought you went out of college.” 

“Oh no my family’s busy this Christmas so I can’t visit them.” I simply nodded my head. “Besides the point so anyways, can I talk to you, alone?” I looked to Jaemin, somewhat wanting to ask for his approval. Jaemin glared at Jisung before letting out a quiet sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Go ahead.” Jaemin said with a tone of defeat. 

Jisung pulled me by my the edge of my padded jacket as Jaemin soon left my view. “What is it that you want, Jisung?” I finally asked. 

Jisung didn’t answer and only stared into my eyes. I raised an eyebrow. “If you aren’t going to say something-”

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you, Quinn. I have been wanting to talk to you but with exams and all I didn’t want to bother you.” I watched as he pursed his lips into a thin line. “So now that exams are over you came to bother me?” I asked with a hint of sarcasm. Jisung shook his head furiously. 

“Have you heard of the rumour about the first snowfall?” I sighed, shaking my head as I start to think about what he’s going on about. 

“They say...” Jisung started as he took out my hands from my pockets and holding them dearly in his hands. I looked up to look at Jisung but found that he was admiring my hands, gently brushing his thumb over the back of my hand. 

“They say that if you’re with the person you like in the first snowfall, it signified love and fate, symbolising that true love will blossom.”

 I bit my bottom lip as my mind slowly went back to the times I’ve spent with Jisung. It would be a understatement to say that I’ve been reminiscing my past when Jisung was a big part of my life. Although my mind back then was concentrated on the exams, Jisung has always been somehow hidden away and never forgotten in the fold of my thoughts. 

“I’ve heard of it.” I whispered, unable to meet Jisung’s eyes when he lifted his head up. 

Jisung took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry for what happened. At first, I only got into your life because of the bet. But I truly did fell in love with you the more I got to know you and spent time with you. And I still am. I’m still in love with you. It pained me everyday when you avoided me and hated my guts. I’m just sorry for everything.” Jisung confessed. I felt a lump in my throat as I couldn’t make up an answer to give right away. “S-so what are you going to do about it?” I asked.

Jisung slowly took a step closer, closing the gap between us as he leaned in towards my face, our noses barely touching and our lips so close. And then, it happened naturally, Jisung connected his lips with mine, pulling me into the softest kiss ever that was filled with passion and care. It took me awhile to process what was happening before moving my lips in sync with his and closing my eyes. 

As if this scene came out of a fairy tale, I felt something falling onto my head. I opened my eyes slightly as I continued to kiss Jisung, realising that snow has fallen onto us. The first snowfall.

Jisung pulled his lips away from mine as we both stared up into the sky, watching as the snow continued to fell. Jisung smiled softly as we both looked down to meet each other’s gaze. 

“I love you, Quinn. Please be mine.” Jisung whispered softly as he got close to lean his forehead against mine. I bite the side of my cheek as I looked into his eyes, taking in the moment of silence to admire the person I dearly missed. “Don’t make me regret it.” I whispered back, taking the initiative to place my lips on Jisung’s to once again feel his sincere love.

[nileqt87]

Thoughts on WandaVision by a non-Marvel fan

As someone who had only seen a single Marvel movie (The Avengers) and only watched Jessica Jones season 1 for David Tennant (while hating nearly every other character in it), which had none of these characters, I only watched WandaVision precisely because it dared to break the mold and be even remotely ambitious instead of doing the same old CGI cartoon fest over and over. And somewhat because of what Marvel has done to the film industry, television has completely and utterly overtaken film as where emotional, dramatic storytelling now happens.

And okay, I happen to have had a major TVLand addiction growing up and binged a ton of the shows referenced in WandaVision long ago (yep, those very same '50s-'80s sitcoms). I couldn't pass up the retro. Love at first sight. Combine that with what promised to be a tragic, human/non-human romance. Sold. I knew little else about the characters.

For a long time, I've seen female fans (in particular) comment on how part of the reason they write fanfiction for Marvel is that they have to read between the lines just to add the implied dramatic content of the relationship focus variety that never quite gets developed in canon (certainly not up to the standard of what a fic reader expects). I saw a few comments that pretty much described WandaVision as exactly that: a fix-it fanfic before tragic reality invaded Pleasantville. Wanda's whole Hex was essentially a glorified fix-it fanfic.

For this reason alone, I can only hope the success of WandaVision gets them to create a season 2 that is dedicated solely to Wanda trying to put her family (Vision) back together that does the tragic romance justice in a way that giving them side parts in other people's movies just isn't going to cut it.

I feel like Vision's ultimate resurrection or even Wanda's struggle with her grief is better left to her own headline story, whether be it film or television. Television is the only medium that is going to allow the actors to really sink their teeth into this sort of star-crossed, tragic drama and not have it relegated to a minor side-character plot. Either give Wanda and Vision their own movie (hopefully, with heightened focus on character development as a lesson learned from television) or wait to integrate the mind and body of Vision in another season that gives both of them center stage with room to develop it.

Them having their twins for real might also be worth a season 2 in a way that probably wouldn't even work on film, as showing such a feminine pregnancy storyline would be a helluva departure for a Marvel movie that goes from action set piece to action set piece.

I wouldn't even hate it if Wanda's sitcom comfort zone made a few more appearances, even if it is merely the occasional domestic fantasy or dream/nightmare, so there is a way to not completely divorce a potential season 2 from season 1's "gimmick". It could be merely as simple as her pointedly doing something Sam/Jeannie-esque with her magic. Cooking with floating kitchen items would be an easy nod.

Probably not what Marvel is thinking of doing, but as a non-Marvel fan, WandaVision has a real opportunity to pull in new viewers with very different tastes that have so far managed to give the films a wide berth. It would do so much better as a show.

Go the route of giving these characters their own headlined projects and Marvel could have a real juggernaut of a 'ship, as well. My impression was that WandaVision got a lot of fans talking about the characters and their relationship in a way that the previous films and comics had not; some even making comments they had barely paid attention to the characters before the show.

IMO, the mere character descriptions sound like some of the most interesting and fleshed-out characters Marvel has got right now with real opportunity for real dramatic depth. And that's putting aside that Scarlet Witch is one of the most powerful characters on the entire Marvel roster. Making a whole television season about a character going through the stages of grief and about a woman who just wants the family she lost back (a woman who desperately wants a husband and children, no less) was very different territory for Marvel. Human/non-human, in addition to having the level of doom that makes tragedies very, very memorable.

There's tropey drama potential there that hasn't been mined with the non-human who becomes more and more "human" (it's the stuff of fairy tales and sci-fi both). Hayward or someone like him could easily be used as a character who doesn't see Vision as equal to humans, for example. Delve into the sort of existential questions about artificial life achieving consciousness no less feeling than a human's that stories like Data on Star Trek, Blade Runner and Bicentennial Man pose. That species difference without the magic of sitcoms could be mined for a gorgeously dramatic plotline. What it means to be human explored through the non-human--one of my favorite tropes.

And of course, it's the stuff of fairy tales--most notably Pinocchio (the once-inanimate learning to and desiring to become real by proving himself worthy and because it fulfills the greatest wish of the person who loves them most), combined with the interspecies romance elements of The Little Mermaid (tragic ending or not--see also the desperate acts taken to achieve this cosmically-denied togetherness, only for such a tragic ending to come of it in the original work).

Given that the MCU movies just lost a bunch of their A-listers, they need something big like this. Marvel needs philosophical and character-driven meat on its meager dramatic bones. Here are two actors who could carry something more ambitious and pick up an entirely different audience. Marvel could get an even bigger female audience with these two, IMO. And it wouldn't be cheap girl power pandering either (I say this as a girl). These characters are legit with incredibly warm, likable, endearing performances behind them. This chemistry works 100%.

I think White Vision having an existential crisis where he's questioning what he is if he has all the memories of a being who clearly can feel every human emotion (the idea that we are our memories), but at the same time knowing that he's only artificial life, would be an interesting lead-up to Vision being fully restored with his full consciousness in addition to the added memories of what he experienced inside the Hex.

A restored Vision would have to reconcile what Wanda did in her grief over him and her family. It's also a glimpse at the life Wanda wants with him, which included something that isn't biologically possible, though it likely is through her own abilities of creation. There's also the idea of balance that he's the one who might hold her back from the brink of going down any further dark paths as a figure of ordered stability for her, while she is key in the chaos of his becoming more "human". The to-be parenthood story is obviously hanging over them.

The situation with Hayward intending for White Vision to remain a mere machine that can be manipulated and used as a weapon in a way that an independently-thinking Vision can't be is also a path to go down. As I said, there's a potential storyline about prejudice regarding artificial intelligence, even if it has all the emotional capability of humans.

And on top of that, Vision is in a relationship with a human, even if it's one who could potentially be the key to restoring his consciousness through her own link with the original Mind Stone. It also furthers Wanda's role as a mother and creator if she can give him back his life in this way. While the heroic Avengers might not question them being "an unusual couple", who says everyone else would be so kind?

I really think he needs to be brought back. Wanda desperately needs him for her story to continue.

[some-cookie-crumbz]

BNHA, MomoJirou?

Prompts 25. "I know this looks bad, but I swear, it's not."

So many ways this could go~! Hopefully the route I took was a fun one!

Minor Trigger Warning: Mentions of Blood

Momo considered herself to be a rather fortunate woman. She had a financially successful family, a great relationship with her father and was working on things with her mother, a close-knit group of friends she loved dearly, and had started a paid internship just a few weeks back for a designing agency run by The Kayama Nemuri. She knew that she was an incredibly lucky person, that there were those who would kill for the opportunities she had been given, and made sure to wear her gratitude on her sleeve to everyone she knew. She put all her effort and energy into being a good daughter, a good friend, and a good employee, doing whatever she could through action to help emphasize the depth and sincerity of her gratitude. After all, actions were a great indicator of the merit of one's words!

But sadly… Her love life hadn’t seen nearly as many returns as the rest of her life had.

She’d had three relationships in the past and they’d all been… lackluster, to put it mildly. Her first relationship had been a situation where she agreed to date the guy more out of obligation than anything. He had been incredibly nice to her and her then-friends had insisted that meant she at least owed him a chance to prove himself as a boyfriend. The relationship had only lasted three months of her first year of high school and ended so horribly that her father had transferred her to a new school at the conclusion of her first semester.

The school she transferred to was a girls-only boarding school and where she grew into her sexual identity as a pansexual woman. She had a longer relationship with one of her classmates that started in the winter of her second year and ended in the spring of their third year, with her ex immediately jumping to date another of their peers within a week of the break up. It had been painful to watch and, for about a year after, she had avoided relationships for a while.

Her relationship after that had been even worse. She didn’t like to dwell on that ex too much simply because… Well, how incredibly awful it had been. The relationship had felt much more like the two of them getting together because they were afraid of being single in their group of friends. The two of them had nearly no common interests and her ex had always seemed to find her passion for fashion design to be a waste of time, frequently inquiring why she didn’t study something more “practical”. Momo herself, however, thought that her degree plan had been more than practical, considering her minor had been in business.

That relationship lasted ten months and ended when she learned of an affair.

She’d taken a two year break from dating after that, focusing instead on her friend and family and school. All of her friends had rallied around her after that break up, helping to lift her back up, and she had been incredibly grateful for it. They reminded her to never settle for less than she was worth, to wait until someone who deserved her commitment came around.

And then, one day, she met Jirou Kyouka.

Their first meeting had been an impromptu sort of thing. Momo’s dear friend Mina had to take her new puppy, Floofles, to the vet for vaccines and spaying. It was an overnight situation with a designated pick-up time, but Mina had to be at work during the time. She has begged Momo if, since she was free that day, she could pick Floofles up and monitor her until she herself was home. And not one to let a friend in need down, Momo had agreed.

In the lobby of the little vet clinic had sat a young woman in dark colors, with short cut indigo hair, and a snarling mass of hay colored fur in her lap. Momo had been a few minutes early and was urged to take a seat while she waited, causing her to settle into the vacancy next to the stranger and her displeased pet. Upon closer examination she realized that it was a cat, with a front paw that looked to be at an odd angle, which seemed to explain the attitude. “Oh, the poor little dear,” she murmured quietly, not thinking as the words left her mouth.

Dark eyes flickered up to her, the gleam of disinterest fading to a light of interest. Her lips twitched up in a small smile. “Thank you, but he did this to himself,” she hummed, reaching out to set one hand on the cat’s head. He responded by growling audibly and jerking his head out from under her touch. “Leave the patio door open unsupervised for one minute, and he leaps out to chase a bird. Eats shit and ends up hurting his paw.”

The cat let out a displeased hiss at his dirty laundry being aired, but it only resulted in both women laughing. The next few minutes waiting for Floofles had passed in the blink of an eye as she chatted up the cat owner, learning that the cat was named Dynamight and was just a grumpy old man trapped in the body of a young cat. Once Floofles was brought out to her, Momo asked for the other’s number, explaining she wanted to see how Dynamight was doing once his paw got looked at. And while there was genuine care about the cat’s well being involved, there had also been a selfish motivation behind it, too. Her companion seemed to know as much but didn’t draw attention to it as they exchanged numbers.

That was eleven months ago, with she and Jirou’s nine month anniversary as an official couple just on the horizon. And Momo couldn’t help but smile whenever she thought about it. Jirou was unlike her past partners in so many ways. She encouraged and supported Momo’s designing works, they shared a secret love of true crime love documentaries, and she was incredibly laid back. With her, Momo could feel her walls fall down and she felt genuinely secure about it. There was something naturally calming about Jirou’s presence and approach to life - of going with the flow and taking things as they came - that was refreshing and exhilarating. So much of Momo’s own life had been slotted around by activity start and end times, of living up to expectations both real and imagined, that the idea of simply letting things be and dealing with them as they came up was incredibly freeing.

The thought occurred to her as she stepped out of the elevator at Jirou’s apartment complex and started to make her way to her door. Normally, she made sure to reach out before dropping by. Part of it was because she didn’t like just showing up unannounced, but another reason was because of her girlfriend’s erratic work schedule. The other woman did freelance work of some kind - the details were vague and confidential - so her hours tended to shift depending on the needs of her client. Sometimes, she’d be free for a good three or four days, while other times she’d be engrossed in her projects for hours at a time. Things had been pretty quiet from what little she remembered last time they talked about work, though, so she felt things would be fine this one time.

She opened the door to the front door, unsurprised to find it unlocked. Jirou tended to leave the door unlocked in case her neighbor, a bedraggled single father, ever needed to ask for an impromptu baby-sitter. His daughter liked cats and Dynamight, as Momo herself had seen, was surprisingly agreeable with the young girl when she came by. She half expected to see young Eri settled on the couch, a Disney movie playing on the television, while Jirou prepared dinner or worked on something for a client, when she stepped in.

Only to stop just a few steps through the threshold.

A map of the city was spread across the coffee table, two large pillar candles set up at the far corners of the table, while Jirou was kneeling in front of it. She was cutting open what seemed to be a small blood donation bag with some scissors, a small wooden box to her left with what seemed to be crystals inside. After a moment, Jirou reached towards the box and pulled one out, a thin strand of yarn wrapped around the crystal. She released a slow breath. “Okay, Kyouka… This shouldn’t be too hard. You haven’t exactly used this combination before but it should work out fine,” she mumbled to herself, moving the crystal to dangle over the open lip of the bag.

Momo couldn’t help it; she gasped, loud and horrified. She was completely stunned. What was all of this? What purpose did it serve? It all seemed incredibly occult. Jirou had never seemed like the type to have such interests. Hearing her gasp, Jirou jerked to stare at her with a horrified stare of her own. She opened her mouth twice, clearly scrambling to find words to string together, before she clamped it shut with a soft click of her jaw.

They stared at one another for a long moment, eyes wide and their heart beats seeming to echo in the tiny space.

"I know this looks bad, but I swear, it's not!" Jirou yelped, finally cutting through the silence, dropping the blood bag in her hands and letting it hit the ground with a sickening splat sound. Momo felt her whole body shudder with the sound and her stomach flipped uneasily. She shifted her weight back on the heels of her feet while keeping her eyes fixated on Jirou.

“Tch! She’s gonna try and make a break for it if you don’t seal the door off, ya idiot!” For a moment, Momo was befuddled by the new voice she heard. She swore she could hear quiet, cat-like growls between their words, but… That wouldn’t make sense, right? Who does cat impressionations while speaking? Slowly she turned her head in the directions of the voice, her eyes landing on the familiar fluffy form of Dynamight sitting on the kitchen counter. His pupils shrunk to slimmer slits before he curled his lips back, the voice from before sneering, “Oh, looks like she’s starting to put shit together! Get your head back in the fucking game!”

Dynamight… Her cat… Was talking? But then… Talking cats were common of…

Momo whipped around and moved to rush for the apartment door, heart beating erratically in her chest. If this was all really happening, she needed to get out! Before a hex of some kind could be placed on her, or even worse! “Wait, Yaomomo! Please hear me out!” Jirou called out after her.

Just as her hands made to grab for the handle, it shriveled and withered into the door itself like a rotten fruit being reclaimed by its tree. A startled shriek left her as she scrambled backwards, watching with wide eyes as the rest of the door melted into the frame, the seam separating the two disappearing completely. She felt herself drop to her knees and wrap her arms tight around herself. “Oh God,” she breathed shakily, closing her eyes tightly as she heard soft footfalls approaching her. “I promise I won’t tell anyone about this! J-Just please! D-Don’t hu-hurt me! L-Let me go!”

There was a quiet swishing of wind and fabric before she felt herself being lifted slightly. Then, there was a soft and warm hand gently cupping her cheek. “I would never hurt you, Momo. Please… Even if you aren’t sure how to feel about the rest of this, please know that much is the truth,” The other woman’s voice hitched with pain as she spoke, clearly wounded by the suggestion. She peeked her eyes open to see she was floating just a few feet above the ground so that she was able to meet the other’s dark eyes. Those same eyes were pleading and vulnerable.

Momo swallowed thickly before timidly nodding her head. “I’m sorry,” she breathed softly.

“No, I understand. This… Isn’t what you were anticipating to walk into,” Jirou said with a small sigh before glancing over at the sacrificial site set up on her coffee table. “Just let me clean that up real fast, put on some tea and then I’ll explain.” Momo nodded with a bit more certainty before she was carefully floated over and set delicately on the couch.

She sat and watched in quiet bemusement as the other skittered to and fro, using what Momo could only assume was magic to help her. The longer she observed, the more relaxed she gradually became. While she worked at getting the blood cleaned up off the wood paneling, Dynamight actually rummaged through the kitchen cabinets to fish out the kettle and start filling it up. It was a little impressive to watch how he did it with his paws and teeth, though she could still hear the quiet grumbled swears he released as he did. Once all the summoning stuff and blood were cleaned up, Jirou prepared them each a cup of tea and settled into the couch seat a space away from Momo, giving her a good amount of breathing room.

She handed the cup over carefully with one hand. “I went with that citrus one you brought a while back. I remembered that one having a nice little zing to it,” she explained.

“Thank you,” Momo took a quick sip of her own cup, disregarding how it scalded her tongue just a smidge. “So… You’re a witch, I take it.” she said evenly.

Jirou nodded. “Yes, I am,”

“And Dynamight-!”

“Bakugo,”

“Huh?”

“His actual name is Bakugo Katsuki. Dynamight is just his… um.. Common cat name. Easier than explaining the logistics of a familiar,” she explained with a small nervous laugh.

“So he is your familiar,” she mused, taking another sip. The other nodded as she took a sip from her own cup as well, setting it on the coaster on the coffee table when she was done. 

Jirou’s hands clutched at her knees, eyes skirting down to stare at them instead. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’ve wanted to but… I was worried. There’s a lot of paperwork and hoops to jump through to get that kind of clearance. And even then… There’s no guarantee that you’d want to keep that knowledge. And if that happened, your memories would have to be wiped and I couldn’t see you anymore.”

Momo blinked in surprise. “Wait, what?”

“It’s a safety protocol that the higher ups implement to keep the general public safe, as well as those of us in the bureau,” she sighed, lifting her head to peek up at her worriedly. It was clear she was uneasy but was also being transparent. “Though, I suppose I should actually… Well, explain what’s going on here, huh?”

She nodded. “So… Is this related to your work?”

“Yes, actually. See, I’m aligned with what’s called the I.B.O.M.O., which is abbreviated further to I-Boom, and is short for International Bureau of Magical Events. As a representative, I have the ability to travel between this realm - the mortal plane - and the realm of magical creatures - the magical plane. As such, it is my responsibility to keep instances of magical creatures and mortal interactions limited. Part of that is tracking down rogue magicals that come into the mortal plane without the proper permissions and, if they encounter a mortal, wiping memories and issuing out punishments,” she explained, picking her cup back up and taking a sip.

“So what you were doing… Was that related to something like that?” Momo asked with a tilt of her head.

Jirou nodded. “Yes. I was trying to scry. My current assignment is to track down the heir of a noble warlock family who has apparently fled to this plane. He is apparently somewhere in this city but.. Well, since he hails from a high ranking family, his magical skills have been well-honed so trying to find him has been a struggle. I’d been hoping that by combining my scrying technique and a powerful conjuring technique using the bird blood I could… Well… Try to get some idea as to where he might be,” she sighed, letting her shoulders slump. “This is the longest I’ve ever taken on an assignment and it’s.. Well, it’s difficult.”

Momo stared at her before glancing back down at her cup. Her thumb traced along the rim of the cup thoughtfully, an idea turning about in her head. “Could… Could I help you find him?”

“Huh?”

“The fuck can a human like you do to help?” Dynamight - erh, Bakugo? - chimed in, hopping down from the breakfast nook and trotting over. He scrambled up and sat on the table, glaring her down with his ears back and fluffy tail lashing. “If a witch with as many accomplishments as Earlobes is having a hard time, what fucking chance does a mere human like you have?”

“Well, if you have an idea of around when he appeared, I can ask around,” Momo said, tone a little petulant. The sheer lunacy that she was arguing with a cat wasn’t lost on her completely - and she made note to ask Jirou later how, exactly, it was she could hear his voice - but she still felt the need to, as immature as it was. “I have a lot of connections around the city. I might be able to get you a list of suspects, since there is the chance he could do… Um… What is it called? Glamour?”

Jirou giggled a bit. “You’re right. Glamour is the tool magical creatures use to disguise their true forms,” She lightly tapped her chin in thought. “Hmm. That’s not a bad idea, actually. He could be using glamour to disguise his appearance since it’s so unique. Make himself harder to find.” Momo smiled at Jirou’s words, her heart fluttering a bit at the prospect of being about to help her girlfriend. “But… If you’re going to get involved, I’ll need to file the proper paperwork and make a protection charm for you. I want you to be safe. I don’t think the nobleman would harm you but… I don’t know the specifics of why he left the magical plan unannounced. I’d rather air on the side of caution.”

Momo nodded as she took another sip of her tea. A part of her told her she shouldn’t get this invested. It was Jirou’s work and she herself wasn’t a witch. She shouldn’t be getting involved too heavily. But… If she could help her girlfriend, wasn’t it worth it? If it gave her a chance to show how much she appreciated how good Jirou was to her, it had to be worth it.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression - Ep 45, radio version, August 2016 - Dobashi in Brazil, 'Crush the NHK' election broadcast, Shark movies.

Kaoru starts the show by commenting on how suntanned Joe looks. Joe says he attended Fuji Rock and got tanned. He spent three days watching live performances and had a great time. The weather was relatively mild, cool at night, no rain, so Joe says it was quite a 'comfortable' Fuji Rock. Joe asks Kaoru if he's getting a suntan yet. Kaoru says he hasn't got a tan at all. He has been spending all his time indoors song writing.

Kaoru then reminds listeners that its only three more days until the live special will be broadcast, and reads out the title of it again. Joe says its quite a rough sounding title. People will be intrigued by it. Kaoru then says he has recieved a message from Dobashi in Brazil, and proceeds to read it out..The message reads as follows: 'Hi to everyone at TFoE. Are you all well? Are you into 'Hiranabe Go'? (*Kaoru comments, 'We kinda are'*) At the time of this broadcast I am in the Southern hemisphere, in Rio de Janeio, Brazil. There may be people wondering why Tokyo Sports has come here. I've been requested to do Tokyo Sports style reporting here, but nothing dangerous enough to get us into trouble. Some of my articles are already published, so please, fans of Dir en grey, fans of Joe, fans of Kami, and fans of Hiranabe with thier butts out (*Did I get this right?? '平鍋の下半身出たファンの皆さん'...??😳*), please do go and pick up a copy of Tokyo Sports. There will also apparently be a live broadcast of this show on August 9th and I will join it from the other side of the world for just a little while. Security is so bad here, and I may be robbed during the broadcast, but I won't miss it! Everyone please listen'. Kaoru and Joe both say they are looking forward to it. Kaoru reckons it'll be about lunch time in Brazil when Dobashi joins them for the show. Just the kind of time he's likely to be busy with work.

Tasai joins them next, for the Tokyo Sports corner. Tasai goes back to the question of why Tokyo Sports is at the Olympics. He says that overseas, people see the word 'Tokyo' in Tokyo Sports, and often mistakenly assume that it must be the major sports newspaper in Japan (*It isn't actually considered a serious newpaper at all in Japan*). Once, when a Tokyo Sports journalist went overseas to report, a special reserved seat had been set up just for them. Kaoru says he can understand how such a misunderstanding could take place. If they, as Japanese people, heard of a newspaper with 'New York' in the title, they would assume it was pretty major. Tasai calls this, 'Tokyo Sports magic'. They laugh about how the people in Brazil might see Dobashi and think 'Wow, a Tokyo Sports reporter!', they probably assume he's rich.

Tasai's first news is about one of the contenders for the Tokyo Governor position, Tachibana Takashi, who represents the N Koku party (or The Party To Protect The People From The NHK). His election broadcast/pitch was pretty incredible, says Tasai. Joe watched it, so knows all about it, but Kaoru did not. Tachibana was originally an employee of NHK. He quit after leaking info about NHK's financial trouble to a gossip mag. When running for Tokyo Governor, he put out a 6 min televised election pitch, which was actually broadcast on NHK, in which he repeatedly called for the NHK to be destroyed. This has gained both supportive and critcal reactions from the public. NHK employees get a very high annual salary, which is paid for by the NHK fee imposed on the public. Even people with low incomes are hounded for this fee, which Tachibana thinks is questionable. In his pitch, Tachibana also raised the many crimes or wrongdoings which individuals related to NHK have been involved in, including the case of two NHK TV announcers who were having an affair, and were caught having sex in a car. Tachibana claims the NHK is trying to cover up this info. Kaoru wonders if Tachibana is holding some kind of grudge against the NHK.

Joe then mentions the documentary movie 'Candidates/立候補', which deals with the topic of bubble candidates in elections. This movie features Mac Akasaka who is also another bubble candidate in this Tokyo Governor election. Joe explains that a bubble candidate is a candidate who is not expected to recieve many votes (like Tachibana). He adds that in order to run in the election, any wannabe candidates have to first pay a fee of ¥3million. This is to try to avoid joke candidates from running, and to make sure the candidates who do run are doing so seriously. The movie in question deals with the idea of paying the fee whilst knowing you won't win, and the reasons for doing so. Joe says it may obviously just be for a bit of self promotion, but this is also actually a good way to put a message out to the public that would never normally get there through the mass media. At the same time, there is always the risk that you will come across as a joke, despite paying ¥3million. Its a risk you have to take if you run as a bubble candidate. Tasai adds that any candidate that recieves less than ten percent of the vote has to forfeit the money they paid. Joe says that most bubble candidates never clear this post, and they have the added burden of campaign costs. They may get a chance to speak out about what they want, but it costs. Tasai comments that criticizing the NHK publicly is actually a massive tabboo, so ¥3million is perhaps not so expensive if it means being able to say such things publicly. With the tv election pitch which all candidates get, you have 6 mins on national tv to speak the truth exactly as you see it. Tasai's favourite thing about Tachibana's pitch is that at the end of his speech, he proposed a kind of quiz asking viewers to guess how many times he had said, 'Crush the NHK!' during the last 6 mins.

Joe also mentions that the 6 min televised election pitch can also unfortunately be used as a means to deliver hate speech, which was seen in the pitch of candidate Sakurai Makoto, founder of the ultra-nationalist/far-right group Zaitokukai. Allowing candidates to speak thier mind directly comes with this risk. Joe then brings up the legendary election pitch by rock star Uchida Yūya, still available to watch on youtube today. (*Do check this out if you havn't already!*)

Tasai's next news is about the recent hit shark move, 'The Shallows' (Japanese title: Lost Vacation.), starring Blake Lively. The movie had quite a low budget, but has taken in huge amounts at the box office. Tasai asks Joe and Kaoru if they like shark movies. Joe says he knows someone at the Rolling Stone office who is a shark movie mega-fan. Shark movies have evolved a lot since 'Jaws', there are even movies about flying sharks etc out there now. Its proper b-movie territory. These days there is also a lot of shark merchandise, like shark backpacks etc.

Tasai goes on to say that shark movies are particularly popular with young women these days. The younger generations, particularly women, are not that interested in mainstream Japanese movies, but much more into horror etc. Kaoru didn't know that young women actually went out to watch movies much these days. Tasai says they apparently tend go as groups of three or so. Each of the three will then tweet to thier friends, and so popularity spreads. Kaoru comes to the realisation that women also actually like scary stuff. Tasai says (*I think*) that a scary movie is the place to go to find young women this summer, and Kaoru likens this to playing 'Hiranabe Go'.

To finish, Kaoru comes back to talk about the live special which will happen in 3 days. Joe admits a lot of his friends have asked him about it. After the last live boadcast, they all recieved a bit of a bashing. Kaoru doesn't know how it will turn out. Joe says they will look back over the last six months during it, and Kaoru adds that he will play some more of the new jingle entries for the last time. Finally, he plugs the Dum Spiro Spero tour and ends the episode.

Songs - Dir en grey/Lotus, ???/??? (*couldn't make this out*), Dir en grey/Utafumi

Back to radio top page

[mrsparknamjoon]

01. the linchpin | reliability • kth

index | next

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 1.900 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: a predictable mistake in buying shares becomes the perfect opportunity for taehyung to show everybody in the company no one is above his rules. what he didn’t know was that his plan would backfire making him question what the real meaning of trust is

A/N: this story began as a drabble bc i love dramatic scenes, whether in movies, television or books. confrontation is always one of my favorite things about them so i decided to try to write one for the first time ever. clearly i still have a lot to learn but i hope you like it!

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Another meeting, another group of incompetent people that I can't believe I hired. Sitting at the end of a long wood table, I scrolled through my phone reading a few emails while all the shareholders took their positions. It was absurd that I had to call a meeting on Friday night because of a predictable and, quite frankly, stupid mistake but here we were.

“Mr. Kim, we're ready” my secretary said discreetly as she handed me a folder filled with documents.

“Thank you” I replied as I got up from the chair and started spreading the papers on the table in front of me.

“Good evening! First, I would like to thank you all for coming on such short notice. The reason for this emergency meeting is to talk about the purchase of a few Min Industries shares” I paused and gazed into the eyes of everyone present. Some of them were curious, tired, others frightened and one in particular very angry.

“I believe all of you realized that ever since it happened our company has started to fall into devaluation, thanks to someone’s stupid and hasty decision” I continued while looking at the documents before me. “I don't want an explanation about what happened or why it happened, just how we are going to solve it” I turned and faced my main suspect, “Today”

“Mr. Kim, if I may, I think I speak for everyone here when I say that there is nothing legally wrong with the purchase” said Lee Sung, one of our oldest and most efficient lawyers. Still, it was a matter of principle for me and everyone knew that.

“I understand, Mr. Lee, but this is not what I'm worried about” I began calmly walking around the table while elaborating my thoughts, “You see... although Min Industries doesn’t compete directly with us they have affiliates who do. Therefore…”

“Therefore it’s smart to buy the shares precisely because it gives us more control over the affiliates” said Y/N, interrupting me.

I couldn't help the smirking that escaped my lips. Y/N took the bait and it was all I needed. From the beginning, I knew she was the one leading the expansion project and everything was going well until she put my credibility with Min Yoon Gi in check.

Yoon Gi and I are old friends, practically brothers, but our families have a particular rivalry that has lasted for almost 50 years. It is nothing that explicit or dramatic. An outsider wouldn't see the animosity, for example. I see it as a truce, however, it's still a delicate matter for our parents and grandparents. When we both took over the businesses, we agreed that we would not repeat their mistakes and promised to interfere as little as possible in each other's company. If it was strictly necessary, we would have to talk before any steps were taken. That was the deal and that is why I was furious at Y/N's audacity to make a decision like this one. She was aware of our family's situation even if not exactly about what I had promised my friend.

“Are you serious, miss Y/LN?”

“Why would I be kidding?” she replied looking confused, twisting the pen between her fingers like she was bored.

“I have no idea, but to call that a smart decision, one that immediately impacts my company's profit, not to mention my personal reputation, seems like a joke. And a bad one to say the least” I said, staring at her intensely as I approached her chair.

The atmosphere got heavy and I couldn't care less. I was right and everyone knew it. Y/N took a risk, as she is paid to do, but the risk was not worth it and she needed to take responsibility for it. If it was anyone else I would have already fired without even calling a meeting. Luckily, she's a key part of the company and one of the shareholders as well so I decided to scold her in front of others to send a subtle warning that nothing goes unnoticed by me and that measures will always be taken, regardless of the level of the hierarchy. This is my way to send a warning because I don't do threats.

Y/N gulped and shifted in her chair, visibly uncomfortable with my proximity.

“So I'm going to ask you again, miss Y/N: are you serious?” I crossed my arms and tilted my head to the side, watching her try very hard not to lose her composure. I had known Y/N for a long time and she always managed to be as cold as me, yet on occasions where her professionalism was questioned her replies used to be impulsive.

“Mr. Kim, I'll be frank” she started, standing up and walking towards the pulpit next to the projection screen. “It was indeed a risk on my part to put Vante Enterprises ahead of such a high-profile acquisition and, for the embarrassment caused, I sincerely apologize”

“Why do I feel like there's a 'but' coming?” I asked, sitting on the chair that she left vacant.

“But"

“See?” I turned to Seo Nu sitting on my left. He laughed politely because I laughed first. Deep down he didn't think it was funny and just wanted to suck up to me. Clever.

“But I still believe that in the long run, we’ll reap great results… excellent results, in fact! Here's a chart” Y/N pointed at the screen in front of us and began to confidently defend her decision, clearly and calmly, completely different from the Y/N of a minute ago who I thought would lose her temper.

* * * * * * *

The meeting room broke out in applause as soon as Y/N finished presenting a chain of detailed information regarding the shares, and although I was surprised by the level of research she prepared, I was unable to hide my dissatisfaction as CEO by confirming that Y/N still didn't understand the problem.

“Could you guys excuse us?” I looked at Y/N and then at the other shareholders. Since the person responsible presented herself there was no need to keep putting on a show, right? I got up, buttoned my jacket, and returned to my original spot on the table to organize the papers I had left lying there.

While arranging them all in a pile, the room emptied and Y/N approached.

“You love to exaggerate things, don't you?” she snarled looking me up and down.

“You love to ignore the rules and interfere with what doesn't concern you, don't you?” I fired back mimicking her attitude.

Y/N stopped for a moment and studied my expression. For a split second, I could feel a question in the air as if she wanted to know if that's what I actually thought of her — a nosy and unprofessional person who ignored her superiors on purpose. I didn’t. She looked hurt. Still, her voice gave no indication that my response had affected her.

“I love my work! It's great and you pay me well” she said, taking the papers from my hand. “Oh, what do we have here?”

“Don't be childish, give me the papers Y/N” I motioned my hands and closed my eyes feeling exhausted.

“What are these projections? How come I have never seen them before?” Y/N's voice came out louder than before depicting a mixture of shock and disbelief. “There is no actual proof that these companies are connected, it doesn't make sense” she walked back to the pulpit, eyes glued to the documents to compare the numbers and references with the slides she had spent hours preparing.

“Y/N give me the papers, that information is above you” I demanded in a firm tone. “Besides, my intention with today's meeting was to get you to find a solution to your own mess but even that you weren't able to”

“How can I solve it if I don't have all the information, Tae Hyung?” Y/N lowered the papers she was gripping so tightly in front of her face and I could see red, teary eyes along with the angry tone in her voice. She hadn't called me Tae Hyung since college and that felt like a blow in my stomach.

“If I had known that the companies were connected I would have thought twice before buying the shares... I…” Y/N's voice failed but she cleared her throat and continued “...this is your fault!”

“Mine?” I asked dumbfounded.

“You left me in the dark and I made an important decision without having all the information” she pushed the papers onto my chest and started pulling the projector's wires angrily, “This is not what I call trust”

“Seriously? Are we going to talk about trust? Bit ironic, don’t you think?” I started chasing her around the room while she collected her belongings and threw them into a big purse.

Y/N snorted like what I just said was absurd.

“You know very well the situation between my family and Yoon Gi's. I always made it clear that we don't do business with them and yet you went there and did it” I placed my hand on top of her purse, preventing her from continuing what she was doing. “Where is my trust in you now?” I questioned her almost in a pleading tone.

Y/N pulled the purse off the table in one swift motion and I almost lost my balance.

“You know what? You're right. I was wrong” she said, looking defeated. “I shouldn't have shown interest in shares that involved Yoon Gi's company, but you definitely shouldn't have hidden these documents from me either” she continued taking a few steps back, slowly moving away from me. “And that's where you fucked up. You're still obsessed with secrets and rules, keeping everyone who tries to help you away"

“Wait a minute” I interjected. This was unfair, it was not like that.

“I'm not done talking” she gazed at me very seriously and I had no choice but to stop and listen. “I know that we have differing opinions on many things and I have teased you too much in the past 10 years with my analysis and requirements, but I never... I say never... would do anything that would harm the company”

“I know” I whispered, feeling kind of dumb for blurting it all out like that.

“It doesn't look like it” she placed the purse on her shoulder. “For me, you're trying to find a reason to get me out of here”

My jaw dropped in shock. Y/N had no idea how much I valued her work, and at this very moment, I didn't know what to say first. An apology? An explanation? A plea? I could have said anything, but I didn't. Not even a fucking sound. My mouth remained open as my thoughts flew through my mind at a frightening speed, making it look like I was confirming her impression.

“I’m gonna save you the trouble. I quit”

Y/N gave me what looked like a small bow or maybe a quick nod as if to excuse herself and then left the room without another word, leaving me leaning against the table without understanding what had just happened, finding myself, for the first time in a long time, completely alone.

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021