#I warned you in my post before

[obsessedwithgale]

Loving you is heavy on my mind now

[needle-noggins]

(CW for SA, suicidal ideation) Here we go. My favorite and simultaneously least favorite panel of Vash and Knives.

I've seen a few interpretations of this scene and before we dive into the one that really struck me, let's start with the more... chill one. We're finally introduced to the third gun of Trigun, Vash's angel arm. And the way we're introduced to it involves Knives forcing him to pull the trigger. Of course, since no one knows anything about Knives, the people of Noman's Land blame Vash for Fifth Moon, and Vash likewise blames himself (this is kinda a spoiler but if you've been paying attention, it's just par for the course). However, he's not the one who pulled the trigger, Knives is. It brings up an interesting moral question of blame - do we blame the gun (and Vash, who is being used/objectified as a weapon here), or the person who wanted it to happen? Guns don't kill people, genocidal twins do!

Now for the awful interpretation, the one that makes me cry and wish Vash was real so I could hug him and pay for his therapy. And really highlights how awful Knives is and how far he'd go for his brother in his own, fucked-up way. I touched on this in a previous post about Legato and the Murder Cafe, and the whole time I was thinking about Fifth Moon but didn't want to say anything for the sake of spoilers.

So. Pay attention to the way Vash and Knives are standing. Knives, when he first grabbed Vash's head, was standing in front of him. He moves behind him to better control him and yeah, he's still controlling him via hand on head, and now he's got his other hand gripping Vash's chest, where feathers/wings are manifesting. Knives is assaulting him. If you wanna get crazy with it and say that the angel arm is kinda phallic, you could say... yeah. This is rape. I heard that specific interpretation once and while I accepted it I also don't know if that would be generally accepted or if I'd be called out for it, so I'm trying to tread lightly here.

It also doesn't escape me that of course the angel arm has feminine features like the plants - the plants that, again, humans are exploiting for their ability to create. There's a lot of feminist commentary to be made here but many people have said it better than me. Specifically I'm thinking of this one post I saw about gender fuckery and Tristamp Vash. Anyway.

Also, the atomic bomb/black hole/sun/whatever that is in the middle... It's just so powerful. It's terrifying. The eldritch body horror here is a punch to the gut. What the fuck, Trigun? I thought this was a funky space western!!!

Oh, and here's more commentary on the following few panels:

Vashussy shot, Knives is still right behind him. Yeah, I wasn't kidding about how bad this pose is for them. Knives, you sick fuck.

Vash shoots himself in the leg (a key difference from '98 trigun, lol), because of course he does, but it doesn't free him from the arm.

The arm's getting darker/the light inside is getting lighter! Stampede did an awesome job with their interpretation of the angel arm and I don't think I would have understood it without that. Also, on my first read I didn't notice that Vash is literally levitating, which is cool, but also terrifying because ?? he's not in control of that either??

Finally. A super painful, minimalist, double-page spread. Nightow loves 'em. Vash thinks he's dying (maybe?) and he wishes he had never existed. It's not suicidal ideation per se, but he wishes he didn't exist at all because he's already caused enough suffering. This is a low for him, because he believes so strongly in the concept of the Blank Ticket. (Come on, soupy brain bitch boy, get it together!) He's a monster, it's just how he was born, and he's not in control. Very specifically too, he says "we", and then changes it to "I"... he doesn't blame Knives at all, and that's very him. I want to shake him! Stop playing the martyr, Vash!

[swift-kwikster]

A comic about Sam and Max being trans guys, taking place at Sam's old job as a stewardess before he transitioned. Being that it's Sam & Max, weird ridiculous hijinks ensure.

So... After two years of working on this on and off, it's finished! I had posted pages as I was making them on here before but those posts are no longer on my blog- I actually redid most of the pages with new jokes and panels, and fixed a lot. I'm really proud of how far this has come. :)

Please reblog if you can if you like it, so more can see it! It'd mean so much! Thank you. <3

[pariaritzia]

Queerness in Indian Media

↳Film: RRR (2022, Telugu), dir. S.S. RAJAMOULI

RRR is a historical fantasy action drama that follows Bheem (NTR Jr), a Gond warrior who is in search of a Gond girl who was taken away from their home, and Ram (Ram Charan), the British Army officer assigned to catch him. Ram and Bheem meet under false identities and quickly grow closer, but everything is thrown into chaos once the truth is revealed and Ram is forced to choose between his ambitions and his attachment to Bheem.

Long before any white person had ever heard of RRR, queer Indians were cautiously optimistic that there would be something for us in this movie. There was the song Dosti, which felt more romantic than the average song about friendship; Bheem's intense declaration toward Ram in the trailer; Rajamouli explaining that there is no boy-girl romantic song (a staple of masala Indian cinema in any language) because "the romance angle is between these two guys only...bromance...they are the heroes, they are the hero and heroine, and they are the hero and villain"; the lead actors repeatedly questioning interviewers who referred to Jenny and Seetha as Bheem and Ram's love interests; and the writer, V. Vijayendra Prasad, being a huge fan of Salim-Javed movies, particularly Sholay, whose homosocial pairing has been read as queer by queer Indians for decades.

The movie itself gave us more than we could have hoped for from a project made on such a huge scale. Ram and Bheem mimic many of the "hero and heroine" pairings in so many masala movies, doing everything from the "slow-mo staring" for the first meeting, to getting a whole montage song for the progression of their bond, to dressing each other up, to dancing together at a party, to carrying each other, to rescuing each other.

The final rescue scene is perhaps the most telling, as it twists a well-known myth from the Ramayana by putting Ram and Bheem in the position of heroine and hero. It is not Hanuman who tells Rama where to find Sita in Lanka, but instead Seetha who tells Bheem where to find Ram. Bheem, upon finding him, promises to get him out 'even if [he has] to burn this Lanka down to do it'--then promptly carries him on his shoulders the way Hanuman carried Rama, to do away with any suspicions from homophobic audiences.

Those homophobic audiences still made their complaints--a glance at the oldest comments on any clip or behind the scenes video for RRR will make that clear--but they were drowned out by the many fans of the movie. Ultimately, like with any coded movie, the interpretation is up to the individual, but it is undeniable that a number of queer Indians felt that there was a romantic bond between Ram and Bheem. To dismiss that would do a disservice to the many queer people who have, are, and always will work quietly behind the scenes to write our stories, even if they can never say so directly.

[yardsards]

people have brought up the difference between "this piece of media is good" vs "i like this piece of media". i would also like to mention the third axis "i would easily recommend this piece of media to others"

[twiafom]

panacea / never enough time for a drifter

draw stuff that would make you of 5 years ago ask "is this a joke". god i wish it were. i'm not laughing

[coyoteclan]

Big TW for pet loss

Hey, clangen tumblr and those who just enjoy the silly cats on this blog. I know it's been a little bit of time since my last update, but unfortunately during the past few months, I have been caring for my closest friend, Comet.

She's been my best friend for 15 whole years, and on February 9th of 2024, I'm sad to say that she has passed. I won't lie when I say that this is one of the hardest posts I've ever made, but I want to continue this blog in her honor. Normally, I have a terrible habit of just letting projects like this slip by me and gather dust; however Comet was meant to play an integral part within the blog to immortalize her, and I refuse to let something meant just for her to go to waste.

I want to thank you all first of all for being such an amazing community. I've genuinely had so much joy come of this blog, and it pains me that I let it go stagnant for as long as I have. There are 568 of you now, which is so extremely wild to me; but I hope that from now on, you can all love Comet as much as I did, even if as a memory.

I hope to return to posting content both here and on my main, @mxssacre , but for now I still need time to grieve and come to terms with the loss of someone that was so incredibly intertwined with everything I've done since I was 9 years old.

Thank you for everything Comet, my heart, my soul, my love.

More of my favorite photos of her beneath the cut.

It's hard to choose favorites out of the thousands of photos I've taken of her over the years, but I hope these do her justice to show what an amazing being she was. I hope you're hunting your toy mice in the stars, Comet.

[sloyla]

People excusing miraculous characters whenever they do something so unbearably stupid and wrong by saying "they are just 14".

Me a 14 year old girl who wanted punch the screen, pull my hair and hit my head to the wall while watching those scenes:

[starflungwaddledee]

been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?

so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!

[demodraws0606]

The very weird plays in Tsukasa and Rui's last event and how they can be analysed and the weird detail that links them together

I made a post about this before but it was poorly made (and also not really a theory or analysis it was just me having brainworms) so I deleted it and I want to actually make an analysis about it. Unfortunatly this also means this post will be long as fuck which can be a positive or a negative depending on how you view it.

Warning for mentions of suicide and drowning

So Tsukasa and Rui both have plays that are kind of the focus of the event, to the point where wxs literally stop to basically explain to us the plot of them (in world they're just talking about it but like it's clear it's also meant for us the viewers to understand the plays they're doing).

And these two plays are already very interesting and...well dark on their own but they have a extremely strange similarity that I don't believe is a coincidence (because that would be insane) and also just kinda shakes the foundation on how colorpalet write these sorts of topics in general.

First I want to preface this by saying that me analysing these plays isn't some kind of fool's herrand as colorpalet has explicitely hid backstory information, future lore hints and overall just little bits of character into WxS's plays more often than not. Of course some plays are more explicit than others.

A huge exemple of this, is the first arc ender where the play they do to save Phennyland is one that obviously is meant to parallel Emu's backstory with her grandpa. It also stands as Very early foreshadowing between the parallels of Emu's grandpa and Tsukasa that Emu sees in Admist a Dream.

So yeah, from a writing standpoint, makes sense you don't want the plays you spent a lot of words describing to the audience to be useless especially considering colorpalet has a limited amount of time to explore these stories.

I also want to get this as early as possible before I get possible criticism because I know how this fandom acts towards analysis that delve into darker topics. Don't try and respond with "colorpalet wouldn't write something like that" or "this is too dark for colorpalet". Not only because I'm not insinuating that they will actually go full dark mode and depict something graphic.

But also because this is something that is already IN the text, I'm not making up darker themes here, that is something that colorpalet chose to add in WonderlandXShowtime's event stories. I'm only bringing up how odd this is for colorpalet and how it could relate to the overall story.

I'll bring this up later because this specific criticism gets very silly once you delve deeper into it but I don't want to stall the analysis any longer.

So now with this out of the way, let's get into the plays.

This is the story of the first play showed in Tsukasa's event

Of course the first thing that stands out is how much darker this play is compared to well...almost anything colorpalet addresses in stories ? This definitely shocked when I first read it, there is no usage of "disappearing" and it Actually describes the method as to which the protagonist wants to end their life which the only thing close to that we see is Kanade hinting on wanting to starve herself. But I'm gonna get into how weird this is for colorpalet later.

Extremely dark topics aside you can easily draw parallels to this story to Nene and Rui specifically already. The story is vague enough that those parallels don't hold too much water (ahaha get it) BUT it's still something that I feel is important to point out nontheless.

Nene and Rui were both unsuccesful in their dreams before the main story. Nene having given up going on stage and Rui never being able to be a director being forced to use robots for his plays.

Both were pretty jaded and well "worn out" until they met Tsukasa and Emu which would be a stand in for the protagonist of this play going through various encounters with many people and deciding to live a little longer.

(The reason I don't compare this protagonist to Tsukasa and Emu here is because I don't think they fit as well. Tsukasa's issues wasn't being unsuccesful its more so him forgetting the reasons behind his dreams and Emu's situation while similar just doesn't feel like it fits this story in particular)

So yeah this story is pretty simple so there is not much to analyse or pick apart. I could go scene by scene but then I would be distracting from the main point I want to make so I'll just be using the simple descriptions of the overall story.

NOW this one is a doozie, I didn't put the whole story that's described but I think compared to the last one this one is way more obvious as to what this could paralleling (or even foreshadowing if you want to be spicy).

I don't think this play is meant to be interpreted in only one way but the most obvious interpretation is the parallels to the disbandement arc. I think it particularly fits Rui in the disbandement considering how Katsuyuki is described but it can also work with Emurui in general as well.

Someone struggling meeting someone who brings joy in their life before they seemingly have to leave, said person being desperate for that not to happen.

I do think it's also meant to be a sort of double meaning here as if you have seen my cyberpunk deadboy analysis, the idea of someone leaving silently with the other trying to chase them down is something that just feels...idk intentional. But I don't have any evidence other than vibes here.

Now that I analysed these plays I want to get into the one common thread they have that is extremely baffling and concerning.

They both have the main character contemplating suicide by drowning.

Now you can be nitpicky and point out how the play in Rui's event doesn't explicitely say that this dude wants to drown himself but I just find it more likely mostly because of how this and the description of Katsuyuki's characters are phrased.

When Katsyuki is said to be "without the will to live"

THAT is a literal translation

Unfortunatly I'm not a japanese speaker so don't take my research with 100 pourcent certainty

However if you look at how this sentence is phrased in japanese, this translation is pretty much word for word

And also just what Hajime says doesn't feel like what someone would say to someone if they're just leaning to close to look at the ocean or just being reckless.

Anyways now that I've made my point that there is a 95 pourcent chance this is Heavily implying Katsuyuki was plannign on drowning himself the question is....

what the fuck ?

Now one time is already a big deal considering colorpalet's insitance on censoring explicit mentions of suicide and for it to be implied twice in the span of two events in a row ? And have it be specifically be by drowning both times ?????

I don't understand people just brushing this off because Colorpalet Actively chose to make the plays like this. These plays often take a large portion of the screentime, and I've showcased how they can hold story significance so such a blatant connection between them feels extremely intentional.

This is why complaints about expecting Colorpalet to get too dark and that it's unrealistic would be legitmatly silly because what's more unrealistic ?

That colorpalet has tackled this dark topic twice in a row to foreshadow or hint at possible topics that will be addressed in the future of WxS's story ? Weither it's through flashbacks or implications like 25ji OR even just symbolism.

Or that colorpalet just went and made the plays needlessly dark, for no reason ?????? Twice in a row with it being drowning both times ??????? With the same actor and both being the protagonist of the play ?????? Have those plays that take a lot of screentime being described just being completely devoid meaning ???????

I think I made my case about why the fandom's usual kneejerk reaction wouldn't make sense here, this isn't a "X character is secretly suicidal/depressed" situation.

Either way, I actually don't legitematly know what this could entail. This is clearly important enough that colorpalet is obviously shoving it in our faces but I do not know the meaning of it towards WxS's story just yet.

It could be hints at some of the members backstory (BTW by that I mean it could be hints at basically anything, it doesn't have to be explicitely 1/1 "they wanted to drown themselves") specifically Rui considering how suspicious they are at handling ms Rui but that is it's own can of wringling worms. But that could also be my fav character bias speaking tbf.

It could also just be meant to be some kind of like, message of colorpalet saying that they are willing to go darker with WxS's storyline if necessary. In a way showing that the gloves are off if they're not censoring dark topics that they usually censor.

Anyways I'm not delving further into it because otherwise i'd get into unhinged rants but honestly this subject just gives me so much brainworms because legit what the Fuck is colorpalet doing rn.

They are being so weird for literally no reason with WxS's story and I just have to sit back and watch them just drop weird shit out of nowhere.

Edit : One of my friends pointed out how one of them is a movie and one of them is a play and i realised I might've mixed those words up while writing this so yeah 😭

[spark-circuit]

love you Der Freischütz, you edgy motherfucker

[seithr]

my favourite.. well i guess it could be called "happening" in media, i think is when I'm reading about some edgy/dark, horror-adjacent "everyone's constantly having a bad time" setting or story, in a book or a game, and one if not several of the guys in there are just gay offhand. it's a very specific thing i enjoy when its in these horrible (in-universe, emotionally) environments but they're still there

no homophobia no titilation. romantic relationships (even het ones) have zero presence or importance really. but Just Letting You Know: this character is probably a closeted lesbian

diversity win: this mercenary is bisexual! he mentions he has sex with men. diversity ????: a coin flip rng roll can sever both of his arms and crush his sanity for the rest of the game. diversity i-don't-know: this can happen to anyone so its not because hes into men, you just have shit rolls

[dangerous-advantage]

throughout usagi yojimbo, there is this running theme of fatherhood, with usagi generally enjoying interactions with kids. if possible, he tends to seek them out (this is just as adorable as it sounds, btw)

as somebody who has long been iffy about the subject of kids/kid fics and media with a big focus on this, i'm surprised to find just how much i like sakai's exploration on the subject.

so, i've decided to delve into (a part of) why i think this works so well for me. for this, i'm focusing on UY issue #54: the return of the lone goat and kid.

(beware spoilers <3)

(caption: a cropped image of the cover of usagi yojimbo issue #54.)

within this issue, we witness the return of the lone goat and kid, betrayed samurai turned legendary assasin mercenary, with his young son, gorogoro.

i immediately liked these characters when first reading, not only because of the general badassery that they tend to exude, but also because they are very autistic-coded (/pos /lh), and gorogoro is depicted as non-verbal.

(note: he could be very young, but i'm fairly certain he just prefers not to talk, and saves his words for very specific occasions. either way, i love him a normal amount totally definitely /j.)

seeing their return was a welcome surprise, and though usagi and yagi are very autistic when interacting (/pos), usagi's soft-spot for kids plays a big part in their relationship, having saved gorogoro from falling to his death the last time they crossed paths.

even more welcome of a surprise was the plot and focus on gorogoro and usagi's relationship. i love to see usagi allowed to just... hang out with kids. you can tell he really enjoys doing it w/out the story putting a huge emphasis on that fact, which is part of why i enjoy it so much.

(the kid in question.)

now, to break this all down nice and simply, sakai's comics are generally so well done that i think you could just read the comic yourself and glean the same idea, probably in a better, more meaningful way than i can explain it.

but i've already committed, so here we go.

when we first meet gorogoro, he's being chased by a bunch of henchmen who intend to use him as bait for the capture of his father (being a very, very, very wanted man. er, goat.)

usagi stumbles upon him being threatened by one of the few other rabbits in this series and proceeds to suplex him after his hat is ruined. after that, we get the first good-parent-role-model-usagi moment:

(usagi participates in 10 out of 10 parenting/responsible adult behavior. to avoid writing this out ten million more times, i will simply be referring to this phenomenon as usagi being 'father material.')

he (re)introduced himself, puts himself in the (well-earned) position of "trustworthy adult" and then tries to figure out where tf yagi is. gorogoro, of course, does not speak, but instead of pushing him for an answer, he comes up with a conclusion and offers a solution.

usagi: "i guess you two have been seperated, huh. well, it's dangerous in these woods. there could be more of those guys around."

usagi: "there's a town not far away. your father will have an easier time finding you there."

he then invites gorogoro to come with him, saying he can escort him to the town. gorogoro seems unconvinced.

this might be the point where a lesser protagonist would try and convince/force the kid to come with them, or even manipulate them in some way (i.e. offering false promises/reassurances or just straight up lying.)

usagi, however, is not a lesser protagonist.

(several more panels of father material usagi content.)

quick side tangent: you could argue this is somewhat irresponsible, but i disagree.

usagi has met yagi and gorogoro before, and he knows that gorogoro is a smart kid. he doesn't have the full story for why gorogoro is here. for all he knows, gorogoro is on his way to meet up with his father somewhere farther on in the forest.

the point is: he doesn't try and make a decision for gorogoro or try and coax/force him into making one. he instead treats him like an equal and offers him the choice of whether to follow him or not.

when gorogoro doesn't seem to actively seek his help, he walks away, giving gorogoro full reins of his decision while also respecting an unspoken boundary that gorogoro has made.

(though, to be fair, he did assume gorogoro would follow him-- an assumption that paid off.)

("i see you decided to come along after all.")

what's important here isn't that his guess paid off, it's that he allowed gorogoro to make the decision. not to mention, he still hasn't quite figured out how to best work with gorogoro, as is showcased in the following panels:

(usagi participates in ableism /j /lh /not serious)

usagi is shown to be "good at kids." he gets along with them, and they tend to like him in turn. but that's not just an innate talent (though aptitude to kids does play a big part of it.)

he invests in positive relationships by treating children not as we often see/think of in parent-child or adult-child platonic relationships, but by treating them like equals. simply, he offers them the same respect he would offer anyone else.

which is so fucking important.

anyway, they get to the town and go to an inn inside, where usagi buys gorogoro food. once again, he exhibits king and father material attributes.

gorogoro doesn't look interested in eating the food. this is the exchange that follows:

and then:

(the 'king shit' in question)

now. let's break this down.

usagi offers food, but gorogoro is distrustful. he employs a tactic that may have worked on other children to try and convince/reassure gorogoro that eating it is fine. gorogoro is, in fact, unconvinced.

then, instead of getting irritated, or continuing to try and (unsuccessfully) convince gorogoro the food is convinced, he uses what he's observed about gorogoro/what he knows about gogoro's life to understand what he is actually saying.

he does not force him. he doesn't get annoyed. when he calls him 'weird,' it feels less like an insult and more like a neutral observation, one that he then uses to better work with/communicate with gorogoro.

('does [he] know kids or what,' indeed.)

in the space of two pages, usagi was able to figure out how to better work with gorogoro, not by changing gorogoro, but by changing his methods.

his outlook is not the one we see depicted in much of modern media-- "the parent is always right, and the child must do as they are told."

instead, it introduces a sense of respect, and therefore trust, into their dynamic. i thought i could only get something this good from roald dahl's matilda, but of course, i should've known to never doubt stan sakai /lh

this of course, isn't the end (but we are close!). a bunch of plot stuff happens, and in the search to reuinte gorogoro with his father, usagi ends up on a bridge, with enemies after gorogoro's head (and associated reward) flanking either side of it.

gorogoro, while still maintaining his distance/boundaries, shows that he trusts usagi by running behind him when threatened.

not only that, when usagi orders him to stay behind him (for reasons of protection,) he does so and continues to do so. because usagi has earned his trust, he feels comfortable entrusting usagi with his safety, where he was less comfortable doing so at the beginning.

(the bridge show-down, with the addition of usagi's killer clapback of a line. 10/10, i laughed.)

there's only one other moment i want to mention, but despite how small of a detail it is, it's what got me thinking about this whole thing.

after usagi realizes he's been flanked on either side and will need to fight his way out in order to keep gorogoro safe, this exchange happens:

one of the very first things usagi must have noticed is the silent boundary that gorogoro put up, one that he's been maintaining this entire time. he prefers space-- i.e., he would rather not be touched, at least not without permission.

in this scene, a lesser protagonist would have snatched gorogoro up by the arm, let loose some feral battle cry, and then rushed all seven henchmen using only one arm.

usagi is not a lesser protagonist.

he takes a moment, however small, to communicate his intentions to gorogoro. "i need to carry you" doubling as a silent question: can i carry you?

while he probably would have had to either way, usagi already built up trust between himself and gorogoro. so, gorogoro obliges.

and then usagi single-handedly (literally!) fights his way through seven guys.

ok, well, that's not quite true-- yagi, the 'lone goat' of the duo (more like G.O.A.T -- yes, i have been waiting for a time to make that godawful pun, and no, this is not an appropriate time, but i had to make it. you don't understand /j /nsrs) shows up on the other side pushing gorogoro's cart, and also contributes to the slaughter.

which leads to this epic, two-page panel:

(its so good ITS SO GOOD--)

after this, the story is wrapped up, the kid is returned to his goat, and usagi and the lone goat and kid go their separate ways (for now.)

as you can probably guess, this depiction of platonic child/adult relationships is very, very important to me, not only because i feel we need more of this in the general media, but also to me, specifically, as a member of the neurodivergent community.

seeing a character that i genuinely like respecting the unspoken boundaries of a nonverbal child character means a lot to me. whether he meant it to be interpreted this way or not, it really feels like we get to see an autistic character having different needs/wants and not being shamed for that by the narrative.

this is only one aspect of what makes usagi yojimbo so great, but it showcases some of the many details that sakai uses to create a well-paced, interesting, and engaging narrative.

gone are the annoying, one-dimensional kid characters and the terrible tropes that usually follow them. instead, sakai treats the children in his characters the same way that usagi treats them: as people, characters that have motivations and reasons and that deserve time and respect as well.

as i stated before, i have long shied away from kid-related stories, especially those with younger kids. but lemme tell you. UY has won me over.

i would happily pay away my livelihood to read 700 more panels with usagi toting around a 6-month-old while he talks about conspiracies with the town inspector (see: usagi yojimbo issue [blank]: [name]), or usagi letting the kid of the family he's staying with admire his blades [insert comic here.]

sakai just gets kids, and now when i'm faced with the question of: is this an example of positive parenting/guidance?, i just ask myself, "would usagi do that?"

and it answers my question.

bonus: usagi and yagi being absolutely not in any way incredibly autistic at each other during The Exchange.

(note: their smiles in that end panel make it all worth it, i think.)

[wizardofgoodfortune]

Gonna go ahead and ask you #58 on your Spotify wrapped while I'm thinking about it

#58 on my top songs is mirrorball by taylor swift! this is definitely one of my fav songs from her, if not The Favorite; a vivid music video plays out in my head every time i listen to it. here's my favorite part from it, which can definitely lend itself to particular dreamling scenarios... like 1989.

And they called off the circus, burned the disco down When they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns I'm still on that tightrope I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me I'm still a believer but I don't know why I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me

---

When his stranger didn't show up in 1989, Hob spent the whole day waiting for him. The whole night, too. He heard the last call but stayed long after, until the bartender—Ian was his name, Hob learned at one point—had to kick him out so they could lock up. To Ian's credit, he did it with his most apologetic face.

"Sorry, Hob," Ian said as he locked up the front door of the tavern. "Feel free to come back 'round tomorrow. Promise the place'll still be here by then."

Hob, who was hovering listlessly beside him, gave him a smile. "You'll regret you said that."

Ian laughed. "I'll never regret having more regulars. God knows we need it."

Hob frowned. Right. He nearly forgot about that.

"Need a lift?" Ian offered, fishing out a different set of keys from inside his pockets. "You've drunk quite a lot."

"I'm fine, I just need to—" Hob took a deep breath, "—I need to walk it off."

Ian narrowed his eyes. "Sure? I better not read about you in the papers tomorrow."

Hob snorted. "Trust me, you won't."

With that, Hob stood in front of the tavern and watched Ian drive off, until the old man rounded a corner and disappeared.

Now that he was alone, Hob slumped down on the damp ground and leaned against the front door. They've probably replaced this door more times than he could count, along with the rest of the tavern. Century after century, Hob saw less and less of what used to be here 600 years ago: the chairs, the tables, the mugs, the godawful drinks. The closest thing to permanence this tavern had was its name, and, up until tonight, his stranger. And soon, it wouldn't even have itself.

Hob reached into his coat pocket and took out his lighter and a carton of cigarettes. As he watched London's everchanging skyline glitter above the Thames, he lit a cigarette, the orange of it glowing in the dark. He sat there, waiting, waiting, waiting. He was good at that, at waiting. All you had to have for waiting was time, and Hob had it in abundance. So he waited until the sun rose, until the streets came alive with cars and people, until Ian came back to open up.

"Oi, what happened to walking it off?!" Ian exclaimed, standing over Hob, shielding him from the noon sun. "Bloody hell. C'mon now. Up you go."

Hob let himself be corralled into the tavern's small office and be sat at the small couch that was probably meant for interviews and terminations. He drank the water and aspirin placed in front of him, and he wore the spare shirt lent to him, but he left Ian's questions unanswered.

"Y'know," Hob started as soon as Ian came back in from the bar, "I reckon I could do a good job running a tavern."

"You should be asleep," Ian said accusatorily.

Maybe he should've been. But instead, Hob was sitting upright, wide awake. "I've been in countless taverns, just like this," he continued, "and I reckon I could make a great one. It would be so great that people from all over the world would come to eat and drink there, and say, 'Hey look, it's Hob's tavern, the greatest one around!' And d'you know what the best part about it would be?"

Ian sighed and leaned on his desk. "What?"

"It would be so great that they'd never close it down. They wouldn't be able to. Everyone would rally around it, even the council. And it'd be there for, for centuries. No, millennia. No, forever."

Ian shook his head, smiling. "A beautiful dream."

"A dream?" Hob scrunched his eyebrows. "You don't believe me?"

"Hob, this tavern has been here for centuries. That's a pretty good run, I'd say. Before that, it might've been something else, like a house, or a barn, or something. And before that, it was probably an empty plot of land, or maybe it was full of trees. Maybe bloody dinosaurs lived and died here. Or maybe it was underwater, I dunno. But I'm getting away from the point," Ian said, scratching his scraggly beard. "The point is: things change. That's life."

Suddenly, Hob was reminded of that night a hundred years ago, how his stranger detested the implication that he changed, that he grew to be lonely, lonely enough to seek out companionship. Hob's companionship. Obviously he detested the implication enough to not show up yesterday. But maybe, just maybe, his stranger will show up again today or the next day, just to prove a point, just to say he didn't need him to be his friend, and to say goodbye for the last time. Surely his stranger's not cruel enough to not show up at all, right?

"I, I know, but I can't let this place change, at least not yet," Hob said. His desperation must've plain on his face from the way Ian smiled sadly at him.

"And why's that?"

"My friend and I," Hob paused, thinking about what to say, "this place is important to us."

"You can always find another place."

"He won't," Hob said, voice breaking, "he won't be able to find me."

"How sure are you that he won't?"

Hob put his head into his hands. "I'm sure."

"You don't have his number?"

Hob shook his head.

Ian sighed. "Well, like I said last night, you'll need a lot of money to—"

"I have the money," Hob blurted out.

"What's that?"

"I," Hob repeated, raising his head in realization, "I have the money."

Ian only looked at him.

"I can, I can keep this place alive until he comes back."

Ian regarded him wordlessly for a few more seconds, then said, "I appreciate the thought, I do, but I reckon you can just establish a new one and it'll be less expensive. You can always, I dunno, put up some signs. 'This way to the new tavern' or something. Then when your friend comes around, they'll just read your sign and go to the new tavern."

Hob stared at Ian, mouth hanging open. Then he laughed, feeling a sleep-deprived lightness in his chest. He stood up and held Ian by his shoulders, still smiling. "Ian, you're a genius."

Ian chuckled heartily. "I try."

"And you're a hired genius."

"Pardon?"

"I'll need a bartender for the new tavern," Hob said, grinning.

Ian scoffed in disbelief, but he was smiling. "And what'll you name it?"

Hob thought for a second, then settled on: "The New Tavern."

Ian chortled. "You need sleep. Dearly."

---

send me a number and i'll write something based on the corresponding song in my spotify wrapped!

[wildflowercryptid]

something that's been weighing on my mind ever since learning about the situation with ezra / toonimal is seeing how these predators will take the active hostility that is frequently directed towards minors in online spaces to their advantage and use it to prey on vulnerable children. i think that we as adults in online fandom should probably come together and maybe rethink the language / manner we go about interacting with kids bc clearly the way things are rn is causing active harm.

like obviously, if you're an adult and aren't comfortable with minors interacting with you or your content, you should be allowed to set that boundary and should be vocal about it, ( especially if the content you create isn't safe for them to consume. ) but i don't think talking to them like they're a blight on all that is good and holy is the way to go about it. maybe just saying you're an 18 plus account will suffice, you don't have to tell them to fuck off.

[alto-tenure]

so I beat 999. it's definitely landed on my "games of all time that I think everyone should play" list, and I think it's interesting to look at the common threads between my choices, because the other picks that immediately float to mind are ghost trick and professor layton and the unwound future. and there's something to be said about how these games work to deceive the player, the unbelievably crazy plot twists, the cast of characters...

but what I want to focus on here & now is how these games talk about death, fate, and grief. unwound future is very much the outlier in how it decides to talk about it; 999 and ghost trick both argue that there's no such thing as the inevitable, that as long as there's a sliver of chance to fix things one should seize that chance. ghost trick and 999 both say "this is always going to happen -- unless you do something about it, and you're the only one with the power to"; unwound future says "this already happened a long time ago; you can't do anything to change it, but you can always move forward. grief can cause stagnance, but it can also make way for better things."

and where they're more similar is in their perspectives on revenge. to get the true ending in 999 you need to make sure Clover doesn't pursue her revenge for Snake; Yomiel is primarily motivated by a revenge he comes to realize wasn't necessary and has only made him worse; Clive's plot for revenge falls apart around him. revenge won't get anyone what they want. Clover's ending can't get her anywhere because the zero bracelet isn't zero and the person who did kill the person she believes to be Snake isn't even dead. Yomiel ends with him on the submarine, betrayed and trapped forever. Clive's scorched-earth approach just leads to him not getting anything of what he wants. revenge doesn't work, in any of these cases.

every action has a consequence. giving Clover the bookmark gives her hope and lets them escape; Ray reaching out to Sissel saves everyone; Claire reaching out to Clive lets him live. even through the darkness of tragedy and impending doom, there's a light of hope, and that hope allows for change.