#I will never get over the fact that that was an actual scene that they filmed

[writingmeraki]

hurt hearts — k.mg drabble.

❝ in which you learn mingyu has a big heart ( and chest—) and he's terribly hurt while you might just beat the shit out of him.

( or mingyu's heart was already yours before you even knew it )

pairing : secret!agent mingyu x secret!agent reader, acquaintances stage. genre : fluff, angsty. warnings : mentions of injuries, treating wounds ( inaccurate forgive me🙏) mingyu ( he's a warning ).

a/n : the double update as promised hehe also the pic is not even related to the drabble but I just had to use it yk?? thank you to @etherealyoungk for feeding my delusions. also this got angsty quite quick 😭 ???( might do a summer fic with this mingyu hehehe ) pls I was also like naurr why is it so sad suddenly but eh it's fine. take this as some sort of teaser for the full secret agent mingyu fic I guess! and yes I will never get fed up of writing these two <3 let me know what you think of this mwah 💌

word count : 2.7k

“Are you fucking stupid?!?”

Silence enveloped the room as you asked in a voice laced with agitation.

It was all whispers of panic and chaos while you took in the scene in front of you, quiet and in your thoughts, but the more you thought of it, the more you got enraged.

“Do you even realise what could have happened?"

It seemed as though the wound on his chest was glaring at you as you spoke, unable to look away from it as it continued to bleed. You winced, frowning more as you shook your head.

Mingyu, on the other hand, like the true annoyance he was, blinked in surprise as he heard you cuss. It was rare you did, it was rare you talked actually, choosing to only answer in small replies.

Or maybe you just hated him because he swears he’s seen you not only talk but also laugh and giggle with Vernon and Chan, even Seungcheol!

He didn’t want to admit it before but now he can, he absolutely disliked the fact that you were more nonchalant to him than any other person. Was he the problem?

No, no negative thoughts right now. Perhaps you were just shy around him.

Right because a shy person would definitely be glaring at him with all the rage enough to just burn him with a gaze.

Who was he trying to convince? You hated him and for all he knew, he was just a nuisance in your life.

“Where’s Wonwoo?! Is Dr.Jeon not there?” You sat him down on the lounge chair in the agency building. It was supposed to mimic how an actual office building would be, hence they even did the extra and added the typical reception desk and waiting area at the ground floor.

Wonwoo? Since when were you on a first name basis with Wonwoo?

He frowned at that, he didn't want to admit it but it annoyed him just a little. Though. He did have other bigger problems right now.

Like the gash on his upper chest that was bleeding. But it seemed the adrenaline had dimmed down the pain. It felt more numb if anything.

“He-he left. I mean his shift is over there's no one—”

“How the fuck is there no other doctor on duty?! In a fucking place like this you'd expect at least one how—”

You pinched your nose and took a deep breath. You were on the verge of possibly killing someone.

Mingyu was bleeding and you needed to think.

“Seungkwan. Get me the first aid kit. Chan, go get some water. And you-”

You looked back at Mingyu in question,

“Can you walk?”

Instead of answering, he nodded curtly, not really wanting to provoke you than he already had. He knew when and where to speak up when he should. At least sometimes he did.

“Great, let's go to my room.”

[ A few moments later ]

Your office space was very…you. It was like a reflection of what he thinks you are.

Your artefacts, some polaroids with people in few and more so sceneries. It resembled a lot of you but also not enough to satisfy his curiosity. He wanted to know more.

He sat down on the sofa, a light pink coloured one, one that stood out in the monochrome room. But it was nice. It was pretty.

He also thinks you look pretty, even though you were tense, eyebrows scrunched as you cut the bandage tape precisely.

You look pretty all the time though.

“I'll need you to remove your shirt.”

Mingyu would love to hear so much from you, and wanted to hear you say so many things for him. This was one of them for sure, but definitely not in the circumstances he wishes.

“I-what? ” He chokes up, immediately sitting up from his leaned back position, one you forced him into when he came there.

You put down the bandage after you finished, looking at him with an eyebrow raised, now crossing your arms.

“How else do you want me to treat your wound?”

“You're-you’ll be treating it?”

“Does it look like there's anyone else right now who can? If you're scared, just trust me, I uh- I have experience from treating my own and others as well.”

You said it firmly because you realised the unsurety in his voice might be right. He didn't know that you knew basic first aid and actually more, it was a requirement for most agents but perhaps it was different here.

Mingyu did trust you. That wasn't what he doubted. He doubted himself, whether he'd be able to handle you touching him in any way. He's terrified he might pass out.

“Okay, now I'll need you to actually remove your shirt, I'll help if you-”

“NO!-uh no I'll do it myself.”

He immediately raised his hands and began unbuttoning, as the shirt got more loose, you focused on how the wound was.

It was a slice, not a stab luckily, so it wouldn't have caused as much damage as a stab would. But it still was damage that hurt.

He hissed in pain as his shirt moved away from his hurt chest, the wound being open to the air.

Slowly, he removed his other arm and finally got his blood soaked shirt out. He questioned where to put it without saying anything as he looked around but you just grabbed it and tossed it in the dustbin.

It was one of his favourites.

Seeing the slight pout on his face, you rolled your eyes because of course, Mingyu would find that to be an issue and not the fact that he was bleeding out.

“I'll get you another one.”

That made him look up at you, to which his eyes widened,

“Uh no I-”

“Shut up.”

You finished preparing the cotton to clean up his wound first, you turned to face him and for a brief moment you paused.

You didn't expect what was in front of you. Mingyu being shirtless was expected of course, but his toned torso and wait…were those abs??

You cleared your throat when you realised you might have been staring a little too long.

It wasn't like you weren't used to seeing people with muscular bodies or so. It was natural in your field for people to be fit.

But Mingyu. Holy shit, he looked like someone personally took their time on him.

“Uhm, okay so I'll just clean up your wound first and then disinfect it, then just bandage it up alright?”

Your voice sounded a lot less angry than before. Actually it sounded more timid if anything. It made Mingyu both shocked and curious as to why suddenly you'd seem so…nervous?

You moved to sit beside him, trying your best to not let your eyes waver more than they already have.

Unfortunately for you, fortunate for Mingyu, your eyes did wander and in fact lingered a little too long on his exposed chest. Along with his torso.

And he noticed.

And he realised.

Gulping slightly, no ordinary person would know but Mingyu did and the glint in his eyes shifted to something more confident, you raised your hand and gently began to clean the open wound.

It seemed it was not as deep as you initially thought.

Holy shit, I'm touching his chest.

You're not a teenager for goodness sake pull yourself together?!???

But his chest is buff and so- fuck. Fucking hell.

Your internal thoughts were in conflict as you cleaned up his wound, not even realising you were going over a place that was already cleaned.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed yours and you were startled out of your conflict.

“You already cleaned it enough,” Mingyu had to bite his tongue to not slip out any sort of pet names but that didn't stop the small smirk on his face from seeing your somewhat composed demeanour be a little thrown off by his sudden nakedness.

His hand holding yours made it seem like you were burning. It burned when he touched you.

And how would one react to a burn?

They'd move far away from the cause of said burn.

You pulled your hand out and stood up quickly,

“Right, right, I was just uh- making sure. I wouldn't want any infections or anything like that.”

You turned back to your first aid kit, turning your back on him and slightly shook your head.

Pull yourself together. He's just…a guy.

But was he really just any guy?

He was Kim Mingyu. The guy who caused you more stress than anything. The same guy who also would bother you a lot during missions.

And yet he was also the same guy who saved you today. You were ambushed during the mission and outnumbered.

It was you against six. You could handle them practically speaking but you also would have your attention split more than it should be. Meaning you wouldn't be prepared for a seventh guy from out of nowhere.

But Mingyu happened to be able to come there. On time too. As though he was keeping up with you despite being in another room with another problem.

What you didn't know was how quickly he made it out of that room when he heard you were ambushed. How he felt his heart drop when he heard you yelp in pain when you got attacked out of nowhere. How he couldn't actually care about the rest of the mission after that and what he cared about most was getting you out of there. Safely.

He knew perhaps it was risky to have jumped in front of you when you were going to get stabbed but darn it be him than you anytime.

Luckily you were also quick enough to make sure he wasn't actually stabbed and pushed him aside as you gained the extra hand and were able to take down the ambusher.

You were not at all happy with what he did. In fact, going as far as to not talking to him till you reached the agency because you were boiling in rage.

“You know you shouldn't have jumped in between like that.”

You said as you soaked up the cotton in hydrogen peroxide.

“But you would have gotten terribly hurt.” Mingyu frowned at your words. The doubt from before raising as to why you'd been so upset with him when he actually saved you.

“Yes but that would be my fault. I would get hurt in my own fight. I'd bleed and patch it up myself. There would be no one else hurt but me.”

You turned to face him, holding the cotton in your hand as you walked up again towards him.

“Not you who got hurt because of me. I wouldn't feel the…the guilt. You got hurt. Because of me.”

His eyes softened upon hearing your words. It made sense now. You were feeling guilty and that's why you'd been so upset. He thinks he'd feel the same too if you were to get hurt somehow because of him.

“I'm…I'm sorry I didn't think about that but I couldn't just sit back and let you get hurt knowingly, I just, I couldn't do that. Not to you.”

You sat back down to your original position, now having completely different emotions than before. But you weren't sure which you preferred because the current ones were only making you feel more worse if anything.

Lightly pressing the soaked cotton on his open wound, he hissed in pain as the alcohol came in contact with his open skin.

“It's fine Mingyu, you don't need to explain, I get it. I'd also do it. Thank you for…saving me.”

You don't need to thank me.I'd only do it for you though. I'd risk anything for you.

But instead he could only gasp in pain as you continued to clean,

“Yeah, what a time to say thank you when you're causing me only more pain.”

You rolled your eyes at his words but felt a little bad for him due to knowing the pain of hydrogen peroxide to an exposed wound.

“Oh, shut up now you big baby, this will help you.”

“Baby? Are we moving on to pet names now?”

“What??? I didn't- I didn't mean it that-”

“Oh I know, I was just messing with you.”

“You-!”

After a bit more cleaning and more arguing, you got up and grabbed the bandage.

“Now how will I wrap this?”

You questioned as you held it. He also got up, feeling a bit better but you still warned him not to move to much as the wound was not yet wrapped.

Then you got the idea of how to wrap it.

“Listen, what I'll do is wrap this around your entire chest, like the entire upper part alright? I don't have anything else besides this right now but it'll help temporarily. Tomorrow you go and get it properly dressed from Wonwoo.”

He nodded obediently and it was slightly cute as to how he almost resembled a little puppy quietly following instructions. Though you could see him getting tired from the way his eyes seemed to drift.

“I'll do it as quick as I can.”

And quickly you did, already wrapping over the wound enough,to the point Mimgyu had to tell you he felt like he couldn't breath and that's when you stopped.

No sign of blood.

You noted as you taped over the left over end part on the right side of his chest.

For this part, you were very close to him, to ensure the best precision. He was just glad it wasn't the left side of his chest or else you'd definitely feel how fast his heartbeat was going from the moment you got closer.

Mingyu likes you. Like really really likes you. You who stayed behind and treated his wound. You who felt guilty for him getting hurt for something he chose to do.

He thinks in this situation no matter how hurt he got, he was now sure about you. More specifically liking you.

“There. All done.” You patted down his chest lightly as you moved a little behind but before you could properly go, his hand out of nowhere held your own and pulled you closer.

It was unexpected so you couldn't help but stumble a bit as your eyes widened.

You were very close. Too close in fact you were sure if you moved a bit more closer, you might just end up kissing him.

It didn't seem like too bad of an idea.

“Mingyu, what are you doing?”

“I just, I want to tell you thank you for helping me out right now, properly.”

He smiled softly at you, his canines slightly peaking from beneath his closed lip smile and you swore you felt your body flush.

He looked…as handsome as he always did. Brown eyes shimmering in all sorts of emotions, lips a shade of pretty pink.

But you couldn't. You couldn't dare. Not now.

Clearing your throat, you pulled back and stepped behind, your body suddenly feeling a weird coldness from the sudden distance.

On the other hand, Minghu seemed confused. Did he push too far? He didn't mean to, he didn't want to rush anything, he just wanted to properly say thank you like actually say it and not do anything-

“It's alright. I hope you get better soon. I'll call Seungkwan to get you a shirt. You can get changed here. I'll just leave now, it's late anyways and you should to.”

“Have a goodnight agent Kim.”

Agent…Kim? Not even Mingyu?

Before he could even question your change of behaviour, you'd already moved out of your room as if you life depended on it.

As if you'd rather be anywhere but there.

As if you suddenly remembered your dislike towards him.

“Wait! Y/—”

Sighing out, in likely relief as you got out of your office, you made your way down to the lobby.

You couldn't help but feel the guilt, if not even more at how you left Mingyu just because you were a coward. Just because you didn't want to admit how he made you feel.

You couldn't do that to him. Not at this moment.

And perhaps you couldn't do that to him ever, for Kim Mingyu deserves the best.

And that was surely not you.

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[hoarah-babylon]

I had to make a BIG post going over everything that's got my brain whirring after watching the story trailer - it's all my speculation and personal opinion so don't take it as fact yada yada IT'S FUN SPECULATION TIME

(I'll put it under the cut bc this is gonna be a LONG one)

“Miquella the kind spoke of the beginning. The seduction. And the betrayal. An affair from which Gold arose. And so too was Shadow born."

My interpretation of this scene is that we are seeing the creation of the Golden Order by Marika. She plucks grace from something dead and fleshy, and holds it up to the Greater Will, beckoning in her new age. It would make sense to me, considering the voiceover, that this is a dead god that has been betrayed by Marika so she can pursue her Order and claim power. It does like quite reminiscent of Kos from Bloodborne to me. The fleshiness of the corpse also reminds me of the godskins/snakeskin. However, I don't believe this is the Gloam Eyed Queen. From my understanding of the timeline (mainly thanks to @eldenringslut) the GEQ didn't come about until later on during Marika's reign - if we are seeing the creation of the GO, and my understanding of the timeline is correct, I don't think it would make sense for this to be the GEQ. I can't deny different aspects of this do allude to things related to her though - the dusky sky, the godskin-like flesh. But I almost think that would be too 'perfect' for it to fit together like that, especially with how much people want to know more about the GEQ, I think fromsoft would want to keep us in the dark and surprise us. Whatever we are seeing here, Gold and Shadow seemingly came about at the same time.

We get our first look at what appears to be Messmer's army. They appear to all wield spears which ties into Messmer's whole Impaler thing, along with the shot of the person(?) impaled on the steps. I wonder who these people were, if they had to stay in the Shadow Realm after the battle was done (if it is?). I find the design on the helmet interesting - at first glance I thought it could be a tree or roots, but actually doesn't it kind of remind you of the black tendrils that shoot out of Messmer's flame? I think it could be either, or both, or maybe it's a chicken and egg situation and they're related somehow... my first thought when the initial gameplay trailer came out was that the dark tendrils in Messmer's flame could be deathroot or something similar to that. Maybe I wasn't far off?

We get our first shot of Messmer here. His pose pretty much solidifies to me that this is his army - this is the pose of a character commanding an army. It's so classic fantasy, the composition and everything, I love it. Messmer is awesome. I'm obsessed with the snake-like flames flying above the carnage.

"What followed was a war unseen. One that could never be put to song. A purge without Grace, or honour. The tyranny of Messmer's flame."

My take on this is that once Marika had won her battle/betrayed the God we see her pluck Grace from, she had her opponents banished and/or wiped out at the hands of Messmer. I have to say, it does surprise me that it seems Messmer was around and fully grown at the creation of Marika's Order. The implications there leave me with so many questions. Who is his other parent? Marika is Numen, and they seldom give birth. This is not an insignificant thing for her to have a child, especially if the theory of births being governed by the Erdtree/Golden Order is to be believed, and this must have came about before then. It would also go against the idea that Messmer is the full brother/secret triplet of Miquella and Malenia, considering that Miq + Mal were not born until Marika had left Godfrey for Radagon. I find that detail so intriguing... especially because I was so on board with the butterfly theories.

No idea who this is, but they're cool and that definitely looks like the kind of weapon we'd be able to pick up. It just looks like a PVP weapon, know what I mean? Very reminiscent of Vyke as well imo, similar pose to the box art of him along with the billowing cape. This reminds me, I'm noticing an emphasis on hair in this trailer too - I never took much note of Marika's hair before but in this trailer there was a lot of emphasis put on how long it is, how similar it is to threads of Grace, and Miquella's hair too. It's making me think of the bible story of Samson but let me not go too off the rails

Here we have some of the coolest shots in the trailer imo. This posits the Lion/Omens as enemies of Messmer to me - which to me supports the view that Messmer is aligned with Marika. The Lion/Omens always came off to me as if they were making a mockery of the GO - positioning themselves as enemies to Marika/the GO. We get another good look at his Flame, with the tendrils. They almost remind me of thorns actually. That final shot looks like a victory scene to me. It also really hammers home the Impaler thing. The man knows his brand!

Then we pan up to see what hangs above this burned city - this 'shadow tree'. THIS IS MARIKA'S RUNE.

I think we are seeing the origins of her rune as part of the modern Elden Ring here - Grace/blessings dripping from the bough of this tree. I have to say given the imagery relating to motherhood on the run up to the DLC, the rune does look vaguely yonic, especially on the seals. I think references to motherhood are in this trailer too - Marika taking something from a fleshy orifice with a voiceover talking about seduction, I can't imagine that wasn't intentional. So far the main character we have seen is her child, after all. The whole story of Elden Ring revolves around Marika's children. I have a feeling Marika's relation to motherhood and childbearing is going to be a big theme in the DLC.

I remember when the first gameplay trailer dropped, people theorised that this was Ranni's rune, and I was happy to believe that because of the similarities to Rennala's rune. But now I believe it's Miquella's rune, for several reasons, one being it reminds me of Malenia's rune, and they are twins after all. Although Rennala and Malenia's runes are oddly similar, it just makes more sense to me that it would be Miquella's, considering we are following in his footsteps. I think these rune spikes are going to be our DLC equivalents of sites of grace.

"And so kindly Miquella would abandon everything. His golden flesh, his blinding strength..."

Abandoning his flesh is very reminiscent of Ranni... but why would he need to abandon his flesh? Perhaps after Mohg stole him away? Though I have to say, I'm warming up the idea that Mohg never actually had Miquella, he just thought he did. That might not make sense considering that body in Mohg's palace is how we get to the Shadow Lands, but I don't know, something about it doesn't sit quite right with me for some reason. The line 'his blinding strength' is a bit odd. I can't take credit for this next idea, I saw it on twitter, but someone suggested that this is referencing him potentially abandoning Malenia - his strength, his blade. For Miquella to abandon Malenia though, it doesn't exactly align with what we know of his character. This is the person that turned his back on the GO because it could do nothing for Malenia's sickness. He'd need a really good reason to do that to her. Maybe it was his only option? I'm so intrigued about why Miquella is even in the Shadow Lands to begin with. What are his motivations? Perhaps it's something to do with his proclivity to want to welcome all, especially those outside of Grace, I suppose those in the shadow lands fall under that mantle.

"Even his fate."

Now THIS is super interesting - our first look at St. Trina! In her usual purple - associated with sleep. It does also look like she's sleeping here, sinking... What on earth does it mean to say that Miquella abandoned his fate as we are shown an image of St. Trina? Was he meant to eventually become Trina fully? We don't know much about her, but we do know Trina is an aspect/alter-ego of some sort of Miquella. Considering his parents were one in the same body, it's not a stretch to assume this could be the same case here. But in Marika/Radagon's case, it doesn't seem completely intentional - with the Ring shattering, I always got the impression they each fought to be in control of their singular body. Perhaps Miquella/Trina worked together rather than against each other? The queer part of me can't help but think of some kind of allegory to transition and Miquella having to walk away from it for whatever reason... but I really don't know enough to figure anything out from this.

I saw someone point out that this shot of Trina looks like Trina's lilies too, which is super cool (sorry I don't remember who that was).

"But we are not deterred. We choose to follow. Will you walk with us?"

I'm honestly surprised to see all these characters that we saw in the previous trailer just hanging out, I assumed they'd all be enemies of different factions. But here they look like allies, and from the voiceover they sound like it too, asking if we will join them. I think the voiceover is one of these NPCs. Seeing the fighting guy second on the left has got me super excited, what if he teaches us the hands-on combat we saw him do in the first trailer? I also think the crouching character on the right is the one we saw sleeping in the purple area (Trina?) from the last trailer:

Anyway, these are my thoughts, I hope they resonate in one way or another. I can't wait to come back in a couple months and see how wrong I was <3 yayyy

[spideyhexx]

kit's tbosas notes

here are my notes from reading the first five chapters of tbosas <3 this includes quotes I particularly picked out/thoughts as I read! if you want to discuss anything, pls send any thoughts!

CHAPTER 1

Starting off with Coryo & Cabbage immediately made me think about the beginning of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory which starts the same way, where it's making sure you KNOW he's poor.

Memories of looking at picture books with his mother...no thoughts on this, it just made me sad.

"But better off sad, than dead...," (Pg. 5) - ARE YOU SURE CORIOLANUS

"As if controlling one element of his world would keep him from ruin," (Pg. 7) - Suzanne is telling us everything right from the beginning. Tendency to obsession! He seeks control because he didn't have that for his entire childhood.

Communications Professor - Satyria Click favored Coryo and he's the TA for that class.

Coryo considers flaking over a shirt as the most relatable thing as someone who also deals with anxiety and being meticulous. More on that, there is so much to be known about him in just the first few pages, how perfectionist he is, how badly he tears himself down over image, how much he hates his status...

Tigris is so exceptionally sweet, that it hurts!

He's pricked by a rose immediately and I don't take that moment lightly, that's deeper than it comes off.

I must have forgot reaping day was on July 4th but that's insane.

"LOVE THE BANGS." - Coriolanus is a kiss-up

Gymnasium Mistress is such a silly title - Agrippina Sickle - SEJANUS IS THE TA

Pg. 17 - Sejanus and his soulful brown eyes! Josh comes right off the page as Sejanus, what perfect casting.

There is disdain and camaraderie from Coriolanus' POV regarding Sejanus. He's playing with him but he also kind of likes that?

Coriolanus' first dialogue with Sejanus is about working out.

"Ma? Was Coriolanus' place about to be usurped by someone who referred to his mother as Ma?" (Pg. 20) - Coriolanus being funny.

CHAPTER 2

Coriolanus singing the national anthem in a forceful voice, getting nods of approval over it, and immediately thinking, "It was pathetic," is the most relatable thing I have ever heard. (Pg. 23)

"his insult," referring to Lucy Gray (pg. 25)

Mayfair wetting herself from the snake.

"There was something vaguely familiar about her but disturbing about her," (Pg. 25) - more than just the circus memories he has in this moment.

Sejanus immediately calling that Lucy Gray being chosen was rigged is so interesting to me? The fact he picked up on that out of anyone.

"Don't cry," - CORYO

"Coriolanus wondered if, like him, they were hoping she'd keep singing," (Pg. 29) - he's already in so deep

"But his brain had developed properly; at least he hoped it had," (Pg. 34) - funny coryo

The entire scene of Highbottom insulting Coriolanus is much sadder here in the book than in the film due to the sole fact of what happened before. Coriolanus so badly wants pie, even thinking about getting two slices and after Highbottom insults him, Coriolanus just wants to leave the Academy, he completely disregards how much he wants to eat after he's mocked. Also Coriolanus not knowing why Highbottom hates him? And thinking it's the nickname the students call him. Interesting.

First the threat of losing his apartment, then the lowliest tribute assignment -- who, on further reflection, was definitely crazy..." (Pg. 36) - I actually thought he was gonna say something nice here for some reason.

CHAPTER 3

"As you always say, your roses open any doors," (Pg. 38) - he never forgot this.

Remus Dolittle - Game-maker in training, who lives below Coriolanus

"She was terrifying really. And here he was in his uniform, clutching a rose like some lovesick schoolboy, hoping she would -- what? Like him? Trust him? Not kill him on sight?" (Pg. 39) - thought this was funny.

Coryo waited three hours!!! He felt a mix of pity and revulsion at the tributes.

Coriolanus believing his gravelly voice from not speaking for hours had a nice maturity to it (Pg. 42)

Lucy Gray calls him gorgeous.

He clocks Lucy Gray 'performing' from the get-go (Pg. 42) - and on that note, Lucy Gray feels so much more mysterious in the book since we're inside Coriolanus' head, she comes off as like an enigma and I really do love the discussion of how she is using him almost as much as he's using her. Of course, Coriolanus has worse moments than in regards to her, but she is performing for a lot of this.

I like the change that he sneaks onto the truck in the movie instead of Peacekeepers giving him permission.

"He remembered she carried snakes in her pocket and the usual rules didn't apply to her," (Pg. 43) - funny Coryo

In the truck scene with the tributes, I think the film had better lines (dialogue), especially from Coriolanus

He's a pampered poodle!

"Coriolanus resorted to the one move that had yet to fail him in schoolyard scuffles, driving his knee up hard into his opponent's crotch," (Pg. 45) - okay 1, WHAT SCHOOLYARD SCUFFLES WAS CORYO GETTING INTO and 2, I like that they took this out from the film because it would characterize him more on knowing how to fight at least somewhat but I feel like it strengthens what happens when he kills a tribute in the arena to not see him be violent in any regard beforehand.

"After Lucy Gray's wink, it might be worthwhile to stay," (Pg. 47) - CRAZY, OKAY CORYO!

CHAPTER 4

"HIS GIRL," (Pg. 49) - he's so possessive immediately

"Who were all these people hanging around on a weekday at the zoo? Didn't they have jobs? Shouldn't the children be in school? No wonder the country was such a mess," (Pg. 49) - Coryo continues to be funny

"All the faces...began to blue...his limbs felt numb, his lungs starved for air...he felt immense relief that he was not entirely alone...," (Pg. 49) - This whole section is so key in his character and his immediate liking/trust to Lucy Gray. First, he goes into a panic attack over the situation, and she's the one to ground him and calm him, which we learn later he usually calms down at night with his mother's rose powder scent in the compact and it's just making me think about how he misses that presence or a presence that can ground him and Lucy Gray does that without him even asking.

Coryo felt a spark and a burst of charisma from holding her hand AND she gripped his hand like a vice despite her outward appearance being so calm and confident (Pg. 50)

Lepidus Malmsey - Capitol News

"tried for likable with a hint of roguishness," (Pg. 53) - okay, Coryo

"He thought the combination of cohorts and unceremoniously had just the right note of superiority," (Pg. 54-55) - thinking of himself as superior to the Peacekeepers and also showing his perfectionism even within what words he chooses. He's so pretentious.

Io Jasper adored Coriolanus

"the smell of formaldehyde triggered his gag reflex," (Pg. 55) -wrote this down because I'm a teen boy/j

Coriolanus watched Gaul melt the flesh off of a rat at NINE!!!

Boa Bell is the sweetest name for a cat, I'm in love. She loved Coryo!!! And consoled him :(

"it upset him to think of Boa Bell ending up in the lab," (Pg. 58)

Coriolanus remembers Lucy Gray's words about owning it to help with talking to Gaul and Highbottom. She's so in his head already.

"Coriolanus would have to review the Academy student guide so he could object to the punishment," (Pg. 61) - he's so anxious and particular and insane

CHAPTER 5

he and Lucy Gray were the stars...okay Coriolanus!

"What was Sejanus up to? Was he trying to outdo him and steal the day's thunder?" (Pg. 63) - Coriolanus!!!

Also "that girl wasn't even his tribute," (Pg. 63) - referring to Dill. Sejanus trying to hand out food to anyone. This is such a good way of characterizing him as being sympathetic towards all of them, not just Marcus.

"His dog in a fight," (Pg. 68) - Coriolanus is referring to Lucy Gray here...he's so contradictory because he does make comments about knowing they're not 'animals' and he treats Lucy Gray as a normal human, but then his thoughts reflect more of this! The way he doesn't question it though is a testament to how it's been drilled into his head.

Coriolanus broke his denial of eating after seeing the ketchup in Lucy Gray's sandwich

He gets flustered after openly admitting to Lucy Gray of not having much food at home!!! I feel like the film lost out on so much character for Coryo in regards to his relationship with food because it is so important in almost every chapter. Also, him admitting it this quick to her is another point in showing how he's gained trust for her so quick. He calls himself an idiot over telling her.

"but this caressed his brain, calling her from the depths," (Pg. 71) - referring to Lucy Gray's song as it reminded him of a song his mother sang, then Coryo goes into the backstory of her death. There really is a connection between the love his mother gave him and his relationship with Lucy Gray.

he smells the rose powder when he has trouble sleeping :( this was all such a sad passage to read but especially, "it never failed to calm him with the memory of how it had felt to be loved like that," (Pg. 71) - Like that's very tragic.

The entire conversation with Sejanus, I'm still thinking about it but. It's clear Coriolanus is manipulating his own thoughts with how he sees Sejanus' actions, like Coriolanus almost can't fathom Sejanus is saying/doing things out of the mere goodness of his heart. And if Coriolanus does believe that, he sees it as stupid. And he sees Sejanus' actions as not being grateful for what he has. So at the end of it, Coriolanus is just jealous and spiteful.

"Lucy Gray was one thing belonging to Coriolanus that he [Sejanus] would never, ever get," (Pg. 75) - absolutely wild thing but this goes back to what was said in chapter one!!! Coriolanus wants to be able to control something and add into it what he feels towards Sejanus, it's amplified right now because he has the ability to deprive Sejanus of what he's asking for.

[sollsmith]

Changes to HOTD Season One

I may get jumped for this but this was in my drafts after I saw someone else mention some changes they would have made to season one. So in light of season two arriving in a month, here are mine that I would added/changes to make the series run and little more coherently without changing the entire plot; 

More highborn ladies around Rhaenyra and Alicent. 

I just found it a little unbelievable that the Princess and named heir had a grand total of one friend. I like the idea of Rhaenyra and Alicent having a small core group of highborn ladies. I also think it would have been great to add to the dynamic of when their friendship falls apart. 

Maybe they gravitate to Rhaenyra’s ‘side’ as she will be future queen, further isolating Alicent, adding to her eventual hatred/treatment of Rhaenyra. I think the fall out of Rhaenyra and Alicent’s relationship especially in the beginning needs a little extra kick, and this is a simple and effective way to do so. Not only was Rhaenyra given the freedoms Alicent never was, she also ‘took’ all her friends with her.

Once we made the jump to Olivia taking over as Alicent I would have gone full ‘book Alicent’, or at least once Driftmark happened. 

I think the flitting between hating Rhaenyra and caring for her doesn’t work (unless you are a Rhaenicent, if we are being honest!). 

They should have let Alicent fully believe Otto’s brainwashing, especially after the response to Aemon being marred. I genuinely believe that would have made Alicent even more sympathetic to the general audience as well, as I just don’t think the back and forth is really logical after that point, and the general audience just sees her as a hypocrite, not as another victim to Westeros’ patriarchy. 

I think it would have been beneficial to see more Alicents scheming against Rhaenyra in court etc. It would have been very cool to see her go fully spiteful and powered by fear (mainly because of how Olivia played the small glimpses we did see at times, and they worked better for me than the more sad/passive Alicent we got at other times).

It also would have prevented having the foot fetish scene with Larys. I do not understand why that was the route, when they could have Alicent be a willing participant in those schemes, which is much more interesting. Also no ‘misunderstanding the prophecy’ scene, or the green council going the way it did, or Rhaenyra crying over a 20 year old piece of paper….

Either given Rhea more screen time, or went with the book version of events with killing her off screen.

I understand logically why they had Daemon kill her, but due to the lack of screen time, I just don’t think the audience cared about her enough to really hold Daemon to it. I think killing her off screening, and having Daemon find out in the Stepstones via letter, and a scene of him actually going to the Vale to try for his inheritance all smug without a care for his dead wife, would have been just as an effective way to show Daemon’s disdain and hatred for his first wife, if not more effective.

Daemon and Laena’s relationship. 

I think it would have been nice to actually allow Daemon to be shown to be a somewhat decent man at certain times. I just think if canonically the character is described as ‘made of light and darkness in equal parts’ they should have made more of an effort to show that, have Daemon’s love for his family be his light. It also means that when he is dark, it’s actually more shocking and cruel as we know he is making an active choice to be that way, that at his core he is not a good man, despite the light we see with his family. It reduced Laena to a stepping stone plot point, and I just wasn’t a fan of that. 

Inclusion of Laena and Rhaenyra's relationship. 

I just think this would have played well into the fact that to Alicent, Rhaenyra, no matter how much she believes she breaks the rules, does what she wants etc. she is still constantly surrounded by people that love her, while all Alicent has done has lived dutifully and ended up in a loveless marriage with no one to turn too but Larys fucking Strong. 

Bi Daemon 

Because that is something I want, and I’m allowed to be selfish every once and a while!

[mxi-88]

Amy Kiriwo redemption is real and here's why (an analysis/speculation)

Ok. I don't normally make posts like these but since I've posted Iruma-kun art on this blog a few times some of you may be aware that I really really REALLY like Amy Kiriwo. I really adore Mairuma in general but Amy specifically makes me go fucking coconuts as a fan of that type of character (obsessive, desire-driven, yandere, whatever)—and also because Amy has a certain unique charm about him, whether that be the gap between his twisted personality and his ditzy demeanor or the unique setting, so on and so forth. But I also tend to like villainous characters in general, because they're so unhinged and fun and interesting to think about!

Usually I hate when characters like these get redeemed because the whole appeal of them is how unpredictable and outrageous they are in their villainy, and more often than not, a redemption gets rid of (or at least severely dampens) these characteristics!

HOWEVER. I just caught up with the manga for the first time more or less since Deviculum last year and I just cannot help but feel absolutely insane about how much a "redemption" (heavy quotes here) for Amy is being built towards, and yet I rarely see much discussion about this in fan buzz. This is both in terms of general narrative structure as well as a certain scene in the recent Battler Party arc.

Disclaimer: I have terminal brainrot and some of this might be confirmation bias. But maybe it will still give you some food for thought. It's cool if you hate Amy and don't agree with my interpretation just be nice ok guys?

Part1: Iruma's Belief

I think a good jumping off point for this argument would be addressing a point of contention I've seen floating around in this fandom sometimes: Why does Iruma still believe in Amy?

I actually understand why some people might be confused about this. After all, Amy has done nothing but hurt Iruma and the people he cares about, and he has every right to feel upset, angry, and betrayed after he found out the senpai who he'd related to and looked up to so much was nothing but a facade.

Putting his reasons aside for a second, this scene in Deviculum isn't actually the first time Iruma has acted like this toward Amy. It's easy to miss or forget about, but even after everything that happened at the Battler Party, Iruma never shows any hostility, even retroactively, toward Amy.

He kept what happened with Amy a secret from even Asmodeus and Clara—but he doesn't fret over it like he does hiding the fact that he's human. Iruma just doesn't think it was pressing enough that Asmodeus and Clara needed to know about it. Of course, keep in mind that Iruma doesn't interact with Amy at all from the Battler Party all the way until Deviculum, so he doesn't know the extent of the danger he's actually in.

I think Iruma believes in that weak but ambitious demon he met during the Rookie Hunt. Even if Amy revealed himself to have that perverted obsession with despair, even if he tried to kill his classmates and cause chaos, I think to Iruma it doesn't change the fact that Amy is still weak, just like him.

I think a lot of people forget just how much impact Amy had on Iruma when he was first adjusting to the demon world: he didn't have much of a real ambition until he saw that there were demons like Amy who (seemingly) wanted to make the world a more equal place for those without magic—those like Iruma. (A side note, but I imagine this made the part of Amy's speech during Deviculum saying there would be no place for him particularly hard for Iruma to hear from him specifically).

The thing is though—Iruma isn't being entirely naive here. It's true that no matter what Amy does, evil or otherwise, he cannot change the fact that he was born with weak magic.

It's constantly pointed out that Amy relies on magic that's not his own.

It's pointed out so consistently every time he makes an appearance that for a while I thought there was gonna be some weird twist where it wasn't actually Amy? I'm still not confident in how to pin this obvious foreshadowing but for now I firmly believe it's meant to remind the reader that Amy is dependent on his borrowed magic, most likely from Baal—physically, and maybe even emotionally? (It seems possible from the way Asmodeus's narration in this panel is framed that there could be something more insidious at play like experimentation or something, but that's just speculation)

Amy is dependent on most likely Baal's magic just like Iruma is with Sullivan's magic. They may be gaining more and more power to the naked eye, but the moment the "tool" to express that power is stripped of them, they're helpless again. There's a reason Nishi highlighted the direct parallel of both of their magic devices being ring-shaped.

Iruma believes (or wants to believe) that the facade Amy showed him had a glimmer of truth to it because of how strongly it affected him. Of course, it's also because Iruma is an inherently kind and also selfish person. In my opinion, he wants to have the Amy who he looked up to so much, even if he barely ever actually existed. This is why what he declares to Amy at Deviculum is framed as a desire. This is a strong theme of the series and it's something I'll touch on again in another section.

I feel like I should mention after all of that talk that I don't think Amy is actually secretly tortured about his weakness/abandonment or some sadboy schtick like that. We'll get into this more in the next section, but any self-pity or anger he once harbored was something that was flushed out of him quite thoroughly. Right now, he is very much narrow-mindedly concerned with his obsession with eating Iruma, his goals are aligned with Baal and the 6 Fingers, and his lack of magic is solved by his collar, so it's natural he doesn't really care.

I feel like any discussion of Amy's motivations or themes gets shut down a lot with accusations of "making a villain character sympathetic for no reason" when really I only care about villains being interesting. Like I said at the start, the last thing I wanna do is take Amy's unhingedness or autonomy away, because it makes for a really enjoyable villain. I just genuinely believe that Amy is being framed this way deliberately, and I think it opens some fascinating avenues for his character development other than just "Iruma realizes Amy is actually evil after all because unconditional belief is for naive WEENIES and they defeat him".

Anyway, that leads me to the next section, which I admit, is a bit heavier on the interpretative side, hence my disclaimer.

Part 2: Baal

Listen, I know it's a shounen manga and all, but keep in mind Amy is still a 17-18 year old teen. He doesn't have much life experience. He had a hell of a shit childhood even if he did have a weird sadism thing going on. All of these things don't excuse his evil deeds—obviously. But I do think taking these factors into account is absolutely necessary if we're going to try and understand why he is the way he is.

I'm not gonna recount it beat by beat, but as a kid Amy was not only shunned by his family and peers for his lack of magic, but also by his only friend for something that

"Grooming" is a term with very heavy connotations that I'd like to avoid, but at the very least the way Baal takes Amy "under his wing" is very reminiscent of cult conditioning. Members of cults are often recruited in strained or distorted emotional states in which they have a greater desire for acceptance. This tactic is successful in maintaining loyalty in cults because the members are convinced that no one else will accept them besides the cult figurehead or leader—the result is usually a hostility for the world outside of the cult, paranoia about leaving the cult, or both.

Amy, a young child at this point, says outright that he's being ostracized for his behavior, but Baal validates it, and thereby earns his loyalty. Amy is a child at this point; even if Baal claims he's more "twisted" inherently, I think it's unreasonable to characterize them as equals in this relationship, especially when Amy depends on his magic. I think the Amy we know could be very different if he joined Baal when he was older and less impressionable.

You could say Baal didn't validate Amy with the active intent of emotionally manipulating him, it was just a declaration of his honest beliefs—and I honestly half agree with you. Functionally, however, I do still believe that a conditioning process is what happened. In this same scene Amy seemed to still be at least a little bit troubled about how gifting his horn to his friend troubled her and reflected on his abnormalcy, but by the time he reveals all to Iruma, he shows no reservations at all. He doesn't really reflect on the hierarchy which caused him so much suffering outside of how it contributes to more chaos, more despair.

This interpretation (which I've held for quite a while) brings me to a certain scene in the recent Battler Party arc that was eerily reminiscent of this dynamic. It was what spurred me to type all of this out at 5am on a Monday night.

Humor me for a minute, because I realize the comparisons between Palome/Galna and Amy/Baal are not 1:1, but I feel like there are enough similarities that it's worth talking about.

The idea of a demon with twisted perversions which were encouraged by a sibling figure with an ulterior motive is already a pretty compelling parallel to me, but the fact that it was specifically the story behind the Magitool's Battler Party exhibition makes me think that, just maybe, the parallel might have actually been an intentional allusion.

In particular, the line about Palome "facing her desires earnestly" caught my attention. Quite honestly it seems like Amy's fixation on Iruma has become his #1 priority—and although he certainly has returned to origins (strongly associated with base desires) in my opinion his obsession with Iruma, as twisted as it is, is probably the strongest desire he's felt that exists somewhat removed from Baal's direct encouragement. It's personal. It doesn't serve a greater purpose in Baal's plan. Remember the cult analogy I loosely used for comparison earlier? Cult mentality punishes individuality. Food for thought.

There's this great comic by gigausagi on Twitter (it's 🤏shippy so only click if you're cool with that) that explores the idea of Amy's obsession with Iruma conflicting with the will of Baal/the 6 Fingers—I think this is one perfectly natural way his character could develop. I'll get into more detailed hopes/hunches about this later, though.

If the Palome/Galna parallel is an intentional parallel, I think it's really interesting how much it emphasizes the lack of empathy Galna has for her sister because of how it would in turn highlight that feature in Baal, something that I previously had to desperately piece together from subtext. On the other hand, for all the familial fondness Amy seems to have for Baal, at least on some level however shallow, it's already pretty obvious Baal does not care much about Amy outside of how useful he is to his cause.

It might seem silly of me to clarify this considering he's, y'know... the villain, and their thing isn't exactly friendship and rainbows especially considering their beliefs. None of the 6 Fingers display any real fondness for each other—Amy is just the exception here, albeit small.

And Baal does actually have belief in Amy—he believes in Amy's "messed up head". He believes that Amy will prove useful; he believes in Amy's potential for evil. It's a transactional belief, benefitting the cause that they both align themselves with—and which, notably, ends with him in power. Iruma's belief in Amy is largely the opposite. He believes that Amy is capable of good, and his belief in him is founded in the bond they formed.

I also wanna make it clear again that this isn't me scapegoating Baal for everything Amy does because that's lazy and boring and they make it pretty damn clear Amy is all-in on their plans together. However... I don't think it's unreasonable to think this contrast could be a set-up for something in the future.

How could this manifest? Who knows. Right now Baal is more of a passive villain, so it's hard to predict the kind of drastic actions he could take before he does them. Maybe Amy will outlive his usefulness, or maybe there'll be some internal conflict within the group that will strain their allyship. Or maybe Amy's personal desires will conflict with the goals of the 6 Fingers like I mentioned earlier.

Ultimately I'm more concerned with the thematic implications of a conflict like this, which brings us to...

Part 3: Desire

(Spoilers for 2nd Year Battler Party Arc)

I find it veeery interesting the way the protagonists keep aligning themselves with demons like Beem.

They are extremely desire and thrill-driven, I would argue more than any other non-returned to origins demon we've met so far—their parents even suspected they could be returning to origins as a child.

Mairuma has such an overwhelming theme of desire. Mairuma wants you to chase your most private, most shameful, most visceral and selfish desires. Sylvia even went through her evil cycle she was so desperate to fulfill her desire to paint Galna. Mairuma again and again seeks to tell us that there is nothing wrong with being selfish and reaching for what we want.

So far I've talked about two desires that are relevant to the future of Amy's character.

And yeah... it's pretty much spelled out for us here. So, if Amy is still latched onto the idea of eating Iruma, and Iruma is still latched onto the idea of his relatable senpai, how would that conflict be resolved? Well... We've basically been talking about it this entire time. Indulge me for a bit and let me spin the scenario that plagues my mind for you.

I briefly alluded to the possibility of Amy being subjected to some kind of experimentation, presumably to enhance his magical ability. It doesn't have to be this exactly, but nevertheless Amy ends up doing something drastic in order to fulfill his desire of eating Iruma—and in the process either gets used by Baal and the 6 Fingers and thrown away, or intervenes, inadvertently throwing off their plan enough to have him meet a similar fate. It's important here that his magic is taken away somehow—maybe the ring in his collar gets crushed or something. I think it could also be interesting if during this conflict Iruma also lost his ring, or even took it off willingly, to level their footing.

The point is that Amy follows his desire to the point of veering off the path of outright villainy, and onto that personal desire I spoke of earlier.

However, one thing I'm absolutely sure of is that Iruma's desire will be granted. I don't have as much of a concrete picture of this, but I would be extremely shocked if Suzuki "I want to pick everything up" Iruma ever goes back on his desire—especially when it was that first confrontation with Amy that he realized that was his desire in the first place. This, combined with the ominous ass dialogue "It's too late for me, Iruma-kun..." from the panel at the start make me absolutely certain that some sort of Amy redemption is coming—I only wanted to lay out some of my thoughts about it.

I don't think any redemption he gets will cause him to be watered down—Nishi writes way too many unnecessarily insane scenes with Amy for her to just stop cold turkey in my opinion. And even if it ends up incorporating none of the talking points I delved into in this post, I'm still sure that she could do an outstanding job with the task.

And lest we forget how Amy saved him from falling to his death. I think this desire to keep Iruma from dying meaninglessly (or being harvested for his magic or whatever crazy shit 6 Fingers are doing) is also quite a likely point of conflict that could come into play.

What do you all think? Have I gone coconuts? Is anyone else overthinking this the way I am? Is it not that deep? To tell you the truth I probably could have written even more but it's now 8am and I need a power nap. Might edit it up some more when I wake up. Let me know...

[clerifik]

Major Character Dissection: Alastor (Part 2)

(MAJOR SPOILERS)

Three: Alastor’s Way of Coping With His Deal:

Alastor knows that his deal is infallible and there are no loopholes to get around it, but he certainly knows he can bend the rules of his deal and take charge of his own fate. @ohbother2 made a good point about this.

Alastor always presents himself as cool, calm, and collected. It’s all a façade so he can make people believe that he always knows exactly what he’s doing, and make them believe that he’s always in control. This is shown when Alastor treats Husk like his “pet” when he threatens him. He knows he has more control over Husk and he takes full advantage of it. He hates being seen as lesser than the other Overlords. He wants everyone in Hell to know his name, he wants to be known, to be feared, and he doesn’t like when he’s dismissed. During the Overlord meeting where he announces that he’s back “I’m sure you’ve all been wondering”  The reaction he had after Carmilla dismisses him just goes to show how much he dislikes not being viewed as the big cool powerful Radio Demon.

With Lucifer too… Why does he instantly have a distaste towards him? Why does he instantly feel like he has to one-up him? Alastor knows Lucifer is more powerful than him, he easily outranks Alastor and that intimidates him. He also knows that realistically he will never be at the same power level as him… so he grabs ahold of something Lucifer can’t; a good relationship with Charlie.

Alastor is so incredibly calculated when it comes to finding others weaknesses, he’s had a lot of time to get used to it. He stings Lucifer where it hurts, and that’s how he gets under his skin. He mentored Charlie when she needed it, and was there for her when Lucifer wasn’t. He even claimed in the song that she could “call him dad.”

Why can’t he accept that he is powerful too? Why does he always have to be the best?

This abuse of power was shown once again in the hallway when Husk confronted him with, “big talk for someone who’s also on a leash.” His anger wasn’t cool, calm, and calculated. He wasn’t thinking, he was acting on a whim and it was shown when his jabs were personal against Husk which led him to also threaten to make him the next voice on the broadcast. There was nothing meticulous or collected about that response.

Everything about that response screamed fear. Alastor was fearful of his deal and fearful of the person he made it with. He wouldn’t have actually killed Husk, because if he wanted to, he would’ve already done so. Husk clearly serves a bigger purpose to Alastor, and Husk clearly knows a lot about Alastor, so I think that threat was genuinely to just shut him up… or to try and remind him that Alastor was powerful too. Alastor would hate if someone thought of him simply as a puppet bound to a leash.

Alastor is stuck at this hotel of redemption where he does not want to be, but where he has to be. He’s forced to follow Lilith's orders, he’s forced to deal with Lucifer who outranks him, so what can he do?

He can get Charlie’s soul.

And he did get Charlie’s soul. All it takes is a smile and some naivety and you’re already halfway there. He now has something to twist against Lucifer and Lilith. He has their daughter. This brings back some of his control. He finally feels powerful again.

Except for the fact that this stupid fucking hotel is growing on him.

He has been shown to protect the hotel, which simply is not part of his deal. He just has to be Lilith’s eyes, her camera. He’s to blame for his own attachment to the place. There is a scene where he admits to Niffty that he had grown accustomed to the place. He also assisted in the Extermination battle, and got Rosie to help with her Cannibals. He didn’t have to do that, but he chose to. He grew connected to the damn place and the damn people. He suffered because of it.

During the battle with Adam, the most daunting thing to him was slinking away and “cowering”. The last thing Alastor would’ve wanted to do at that moment is retreat from the battle. He had no other choice. It was losing, or death. Both of which are two important things to him. He was willing to take the sacrifice of his status over death. Knowing how much Alastor craves control, craves status, that shows you just how terrified he is of death. The wild look in his eyes too? Ugh.

If Lilith’s deal with him is centred around keeping an eye on Charlie, it makes sense why Alastor was absolutely horrified that he nearly died for them. He’s horrified at what the deal is forcing him to do, who it’s forcing him to be. When he originally made the deal there was no harm done, no real threat to him. But now he was sent to keep an eye on Charlie who was pissing off the entirety of Heaven and taking her father with her? Well, Christ. He really fucked up this time!

He had a panic attack in that damn Radio Tower, because he is absolutely fucking terrified. He’s losing control, everything that is happening around him is something he cannot control, and unless he finds a way around his deal, it’s not changing. He was literally pulling the hair out of his head because he couldn't believe what he was doing. It horrified him to no end.

To Summarize:

Alastor is a brilliantly methodically well crafted character. (Anyone who wants to say I’m looking too far into this, Alastor has been around since Viv was in high school so she has had a lot of time to let his personality and backstory cook.) He’s clever, and he’s powerful, but he’s also a little bit of a fool. He made a deal to gain control, and in return, it came back to bite him in the ass after a few decades. He knows he is nothing without his deal, but he also knows that his deal could ruin him.

He’s stuck in the most masterful way possible, and unless he figures out how to twist this all. Maybe use Charlie as his puppet? He’s going to continue to be a slave to his contract.

[graveyardcuddles]

Some rambling personal thoughts on Astarion's endings since I can't sleep.

I find myself really loving Astarion's spawn endings and ALL of their variations even more the more I think about them (the exception ofc being the cursed af endings where you don't help him AT ALL and he either gets turned into a zombie or is still being hunted by cazador even after the game, but I'm obviously not talking about those).

I think I, like many others who grew very attached to his character, were left feeling very torn over his initial spawn ending before the added epilogue. Because Astarion being free from cazador and learning to truly relish in that freedom AND use it towards more positive ends is the entire point of his spawn endings. But we don't really get the chance to see that fully paid off in the narrative. One could argue that we do see the very beginnings of it with the graveyard scene and the morning after scene and how he makes several comments about never being a slave again after he kills cazador. But then we get a rather painful reminder of the fact that he's still been forced to give up something he's come to love and cherish so much over the course of your journey. And then we just kinda end on that note.

I definitely didn't regret keeping Astarion a spawn, even after that. But I will admit there was a part of me that still really wanted to see more for him. And that's why I really do adore the epilogue. I know people have their issues with it and say it's unrealistic for Astarion to be so "healed" after only 6 months but I disagree with this take because we're literally only seeing a glimpse of him on one really good, happy night, it's not necessarily a reflection of how he usually is. He could very well still be having days where he struggles, and he almost certainly does. But comparing his previous 200 years to his possible (good) spawn endings, it's not really surprising that he's thriving. Same with the "counterweight" comment. He's not saying the 6 months you've been together completely negates and erases the 200 years of torture. He's saying his freedom and your love have been such a HUGE contrast to what he's had to live through for so long that they feel like a counterweight to the horrors.

I think about how far he has to come for him to actually get to those endings. His bounty hunter/adventurer ending? Amazing! He's relishing in violence and living his best rouge life. Leading the spawn in the Underdark? Speaks so much to his character development that he actually cares enough about them to even attempt such a massive undertaking. Lots of potential for healing of course but also: Holy shit the potential for unhinged shenanigans as well. Going to the hells with Karlach? Incredible! He's not just getting to enjoy tearing up cambions all day he's devoted to Karlach and helping her it's literally so beautiful.

Something else I really adore about his spawn ending vs. his ascended ending is that he burns down cazador's palace in his spawn ending. Burns it to the ground and destroys it for good. Whereas ascended Astarion literally moves into the palace and like...sure you can headcanon that maybe he eventually has a new, even grander palace built. But the mental image of Astarion wandering those halls is just so fucking sad to think about. He could go anywhere and do anything but he's still physically occupying the space that hosted so many horrors and tortures for him. And it to me that just screams that he's still there mentally.

I'll always defend people who like the ascended ending because I understand the appeal of it. As a dark romance enjoyer, I very much understand the appeal of the dark consort ending. And I don't even think this is the "worst" ending for Astarion because there's at least still potential for him (as opposed to the endings where he dies or is still being hunted, which ARE the worst endings for him). But it does feel like a step backward for him. And I think the people who go "Well this is just NATURAL character progression for him he's selfish af of course he would want this" Think too little of him or at least underestimate his capacity to care for others.

Because he very obviously DOES care. And allowing him to get to a place where he can foster that sense of compassion for others is truly so beautiful and so profound to see. I'm someone who is easily moved by fiction already but Astarion's story really touches my heart just because of how rewarding it is to see how far he comes in those endings.

[yeostars]

I Hate You, I Love You.

-kang yeosang<3

○ pairing- yeosang x reader ○ genre- academic rivals to lovers! early relationship scenario, basically a snippet into the times when two rivals get into a romantic relationship after finally confessing their undying love to eo (ahem, they still hate eo too, though) ○ warnings- none? slight 18+ scenes but they don't actually do IT haha ○ synopsis- sooo this one is the epilogue for my rivals to lovers yeo fic (down bad, but at what cost?) . basically this one is a study session turned into a pillow fight turned into an intense makeout session ;) i've tried my best to write this one even better than the actual long fic so i really hope y'all enjoy reading this. likes, reblogs, comments and follows are always immensely appreciated <3

"Huh, to be honest, your room isn't half bad. Really." You admit, peering at every little thing your eyes land upon, in this giant, spacious room.

"If that was meant to be a compliment, thanks." Yeosang snorted, right behind you, watching you take everything in.

This was your very first time visiting your boyfriend's slash academic rival's room. Infact, it was your first time coming to his house itself. Saying that you were nervous was an understatement, but somehow you seemed to be relaxing in yeosang's presence by now.

The fact that no one except the both of you were present in his house right now, also relaxed you quite a lot. Yeosang's parents had gone shopping and his elder sister was hanging out with her friends. Yeosang, being the smartass he is, grabbed this perfect oppurtunity and ideal day to invite you over, to get your assignments done.

Yeah. to get those damn assignments done. nothing else, probably, right...? although you wished you were lying, as you thought about how amazing it would be, to make out with yeosang on his bed.....

It had been roughly a month since the both of you started dating now, and it seemed like neither of you wanted to rush things. But if either you or yeosang made the first move, the latter would passionately reciprocate it.

"I mean it, your room is much more spacious than i imagined it to be. And also, so clean.... bet it isn't normally this clean." You said, chuckling, as your hand gently patted and felt the soft matress bed sheets.

"Well, not gonna lie, i did clean it up cuz you were gonna come over, You should be grateful." He joked, carefully picking up your bag and placed it on one of the extra chairs around his study table.

"Should i touch your feet or something? Geez, thanks for cleaning your room, i guess." You let out, suddenly stopping in your tracks to stare at the mini posters stuck at the wall.

Yeosang noticed you staring at those posters at the wall and stood right besides you. Good thing it wasn't something embarassing- or else he would've torn all those posters than bear all the teasing from you.

"Seriously, yeo? Math symbols, geometry shapes, equations and formulas..... you know what, i am not even surprised, you math freak." You grinned, turning to look him directly in the eye.

"So what? I am working to be the best mathematician of the next century, Gotta make sure to look like one." He replied, sounding quite proud.

"Might as well wear printed t-shirts with mathematical formulas all over it, My anti-math ass could never. I might throw up if i stare at those posters again." You said, giving those posters one last glance.

"You and your dramatic ass, y/n.....well, take a seat, if you're done exploring, and lets get these assignments done." Yeosang murmured, taking hold of his own bag, as he bought it towards his huge study table.

You sat at the chair farthest to the window, where sunrays seemed to be shining beautifully at the ends of the study table. Yeosang sat right besides you, eliminating the third chair and reduced any distance present between the both of you.

You ignored your heart beating loudly in your chest, quietly placed your books and pens on the table, and peered at yeosang doing the same.

"Well then, lets get started? As we promised each other, you're gonna help me if i have any difficulty in maths and I'm gonna do the same for you in science. Hope that offer still stands." You said, not quite maintaining eye contact with him, choosing to stare at those books in front of you instead.

"Hmm, alright. Lets get this done as quickly as possible." Yeosang said, already getting started with his work.

Around 40 minutes passed, the both of you working in peaceful silence, and even if you asked each other about a certain question or concept, the atmosphere between the both of you was still, peaceful. calm. not chaotic- and that's where is started to feel slightly...wrong? This had to be the longest time you've both spent in each other's presence without teasing the hell out of each other or bickering.

You couldn't help but steal quick glances towards yeosang's direction, admiring his concentrated self, how unbelievably hot he looked even when he was literally just, studying. When he furrowed his eyebrows cuz he probably didn't understand something, or when he mindlessly spun his pen as he read content, you wondered how you even managed to have a boyfriend as attractive as him.

You stretched your arms quickly, leaning back toward the chair, stifling a yawn. You were quite tired now, but you still had one topic left. You glanced at yeosang, and he looked quite tired himself, too.

And besides, things felt too boring, between the both of you, right now. You wanted to spice things up a bit, get him to kiss you or something.... but how?

"I'm taking a quick break." You announced, getting up from your chair, heading towards the giant bed, sitting comfortably at the edge.

Yeosang spun his chair to face you, and just blankly stared at you as you scrolled through something on your phone.

"What, tired already?" He asked, having the audacity to ask you this while looking much more exhausted than you.

"You look like you're about to pass out, right now. Take a break along with me." This wasn't a request, it was an order. You wanted both of you to feel fresh and relaxed before you started working on the final topic to finish your assignments.

Yeosang didn't argue further, simply closed his books and joined you, on his bed. He mirrored your position, sitting quite distant from you, but you could still feel his feet brushing yours..

You sat there, feeling extra comfortable because of the giant, soft pillows behind you. Yeosang suddenly grabbed one of those pillows behind you and you glanced at him, quirking an eyebrow and met his gaze, which looked quite mischievous and playful...typical yeosang.

"Ever been in a pillow fight?" Yeosang asked, pulling the pillow close to his chest.

"Umm....no? I might have once, with Jia, though." You replied, registering the fact that he probably asked you out on a pillow fight. you, his girlfriend, into a pillow fight.

at such moments, you realised how yeosang was truly, yeosang. no one could ever be like him..

"Then accept this challenge. Whoever wins gets their favourite snack as a reward." Yeosang snickered, coming closer to you.

"Oh, ITS ON. Y-" You almost screamed, and you didn't even get to finish your sentence as Yeosang approached you and hit his pillow skillfully at your arm. You groaned, gaining your consciousness quickly and attacked him with another pillow, aimed right at his head.

Here you were, the both of you fighting each other in an impromptu pillow fight, laughing, giggling and screaming like little kids. Just when you thought you couldn't fall deeper for yeosang than you already were, you were proved wrong when you met his soft and playful gaze, him smiling at you, the reason for his laughter being you. You wished this moment could last forever..

Your bodies brushed again each other's quite often, but the both of you tried to ignore that fact, too caught up in adrenaline and playfully fighting each other.

With a well-aimed swing, you managed to knock the pillow out of Yeosang's hands, grinning proudly. "Gotcha!"

Before you even knew it, yeosang lunged forward and tackled you gently onto the bed. You both landed in a heap of tangled limbs and pillows, your breath hitching as you realised that you were pinned beneath him onto the bed...

For a moment, everything stilled. The air, filled with laughter and giggles and screams just a minute ago, was now intense, and all that could be heard was your breaths.

You gazed into each other's eyes, your faces mere inches apart, You could feel yeosang's warm breath forming goosebumps on your skin. Every single cell in your body seemed to be aware of your current position, you could feel yeosang's strong arms wrapped against your sides, as if you had no choice to run away,,,

Yeosang's eyes softened, his playful smirk replaced by something more tender. "Y/N...." He trailed off, not bothering to complete his sentence. Just hearing your name from his lips, him being so damn close to you, you could've sworn your heart was going to beat right out of your chest.

Your hand, which had been gripping a pillow, slowly lifted up to touch his shoulders, to touch those strong biceps... that got you thinking just how buff your boyfriend was.

He leaned down, his movements slow and deliberate, giving you every chance to pull away, his eyes never leaving yours. But of course, you didn't. Why would you? You were waiting since ages for this to happen..

You lifted your head slightly, closing the distance between you. Your lips met in a kiss that was both familiar and electrifying, a perfect blend of softness and urgency.

Until, it was no longer soft, no longer sweet- just mere urgency, passion and roughness arising, as yeosang's palms reached forward to cup your face and your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, bringing him impossibly closer to you.

You pulled apart just for a second, you asking him hurridely if the door was locked (as much as you loved kissing yeosang, you were not prepared for the utter embarrasment if his parents walked in.) and he just hummed in reply, wasting no time and bought your lips to his again.

The makeout session seemed to be unending, and you weren't complaining in he slightest. The next second you broke the kiss to catch some freaking air, you could feel yeosang's gaze strongly fixated on you, and you couldn't quite comprehend what he was feeling.

"God, you're so hot." He said, in such a low voice, you would have almos missed it if you weren't so damn close to him.

"What?" You asked, blushing, although you had clearly heard him. You took in the sight of his cheeks heating up so furiously that your shyness was now replaced with a proud smirk.

"Say it again. I didn't quite hear you." You said, grinning.

"H-hell no. You didn't hear anything." He said, now tearing his gaze off you, just to be met by your smirk yet again as you grabbed his chin softly to make direct eye contact.

"What, THE kang yeosang getting all giddy and shy because of me? Yeo, if you don't say that again, i WILL tease you about it for the rest of your life-"

"I hate you. Y-you're so hot." He said, and before you could say anything, he quickly sealed his lips with yours, once again. You hummed in pleasure as his thumbs lightly massaged your cheeks, and you felt so damn good in this moment, you wouldn't dare to stop.

That was, unless you had to, to catch your breaths once again.

"Have you kissed someone before, um, me?" You asked, looking quite shy now. He blinked, not believing that this was the kind of question you'd ask him in the middle of a makeout session.

"I did. What about you?" He asked, shrugging, his eyes curious for your answer to the same.

Something familiar settled into your stomach. Bitterness. Jealousy. That would explain how yeosang kissed you so damn well. He was experienced, someone had already felt those wicked, soft, irrestible lips before. And of course, they did. Have you looked at the guy? It would be impossible to believe that he hadn't dated before.

"Y/N?" He asked softly, after noticing that you didn't reply quickly.

"Uhh...well, you're my first kiss." You said, not adding anything further. Yeosang seemed way too shocked at that, smirking soon after.

"Are you being serious? You're telling me, your arch nemesis, your rival, the person you quite literally hate, ME, i'm your first kiss? Insane, if you ask m-" He didn't get to complete his sentence this time, as you bought your lips to his, again. and again. and again- until the both of you were completely satisfied- which you weren't, not just yet. You kissed in perfect sync, perfect harmony- you tilting your head slightly to give him more access, your tongues hungrily meeting each others, the unending bites and teasing making you even more desperate for each other.

You opened your eyes to be met with a pleasant, calm, flushed yeosang. His plush lips were now red and glossy and slightly bruised because of you biting them so many times (he did too, so that was only fair) and he just, looked so fucking pretty, so handsome, so ethereal. and you were just so damn lucky.

"You are my first kiss too, by the way." He confessed, now looking quite serious. You nearly choked on air.

"WHAT?? You lied to me before...?" You asked in disbelief.

"Yea, i just wanted to witness you being jealous. You are so cute, the way you were pouting when i said that, i wanted to bite you." He said, caressing your cheek softly.

"Shut up. I hate you." You let out, pouting yet again and yeosang looked at you with such endearment and adoration, one would have never thought that you used to be at each others throats.

"Nah, you love me." He chuckled, intertwining his fingers with yours. You smiled softly.

"That, maybe i do."

[qpjianghu]

(...but what if I was?)

Li Lianhua / Li Xiangyi | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)

[toodrasticallydumb]

NOoOOOooo!!!

YOU’RE TELLING ME IN EPISODE 25 OF SEASON 1 WHEN BARB IS ALMOST DYING AND STRICKLER REACHES FOR HER HAND WHILE SHE LAYS THERE AND JIM GOES “Thank you for doing this for me.” THIS ABSOLUTE BUM OF A MAN GOES “I’M DOING IT FOR HER.”??????

YOU HALFWIT, IDIOTIC, FATOUS DING-DONG YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE DOING THAT WHEN THIS KID IS LETTING YOU GO SCOT-FREE.

I DONT EVEN BLAME YOU TBH I BLAME THE WRITERS BECAUSE I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR TAKING AWAY THE “It isn’t just for you.” FROM ME AND EVERYONE ELSE.

(i am aware i am very very late to this rant but what can i say? i have feelings about these decisions as i’m rewatching and yes, there may be more to come.)

[mariathechosen1]

Was Anyone But You a good Much Ado About Nothing adaptation? No, not at all, but fuck it was fun!

[eclipsecrowned]

me trying to be a welcoming person in a fandom space vs feeling like a little gatekeeping would solve damn near every problem in a specific fandom actually.

[whynotimtired]

We all know that Will's prone to freezing and fleeing as opposed to fighting (who can blame him) and this is consistently not an issue. In fact, the two only times he didn't run he was taken/taken over by an eldritch monster. That's like. The worst thing that could possibly happen. The characters talk about how he's good at running and he's great at hiding and this is all purely GOOD. Nobody faults him for this and truly, nobody seems to even notice.

We open in on st4 and we can see Will is struggling with El being bullied, in the way that he can't help and it's crushing him. Nobody else notices, nobody cares. He has a problem with this. It's negative to him. And so, narratively, he has to overcome it. He feels guilty and powerless and weak and he's going to have his st5 moment. He will help her.

[cinnamonest]

So I know just a few days ago I was on the Nier 9S agenda, but after last night’s Tales of Symphonia post I’d also like you to consider the Mithos agenda bc I got nostalgic and went back to the anime at 3 am instead of sleeping and I’m in love again

[violexides]

God. komaeda really was a great character huh. (plus, ramblings about my favorite 'character types' and queerness in DR in tags).

[rmbunnie]

okay so i’m gonna try to post a little art preview of the 2nd sheet tonight BUT this isn’t about that. I’m rewatching through all of umbrella academy with my dad and my GOD it’s fun because i get to see his reactions for the first time and i’m picking up a LOT more than I did the last time I watched through in Freshman year but also it sucks because now i’m caught up in season 1 feelings that everyone is already over