#I write about fantastical things like the desire to go the fuck back to sleep & being overstimulated

[cloudbattrolls]

Epimetheus

Guardian Artifice | 465 sweeps prior | Civitrecce

“I think you’ve been working on it too long, dear.”

The words were fuzzy. Muffled. They only barely had meaning. 

“Nonsense! I last took a break, ah -“

“Three hours ago, dear. You’re going to burn yourself out if you keep pushing it.”

The click of a tongue. What was a tongue?

“I’m fine! You’re just fussy, sweetheart.”

“You won’t be fine if you don’t rest, love.”

A complaining tone replied, yet it had a clear undertone of fondness. The voices moved away, muted until they vanished entirely.

How did it know all this? It remembered nothing. What was it? Who was it? 

It opened its eyes, not realizing it had had them. It couldn’t see well either. It was in a…workshop? Many tools and materials lay around it, machines of purposes it could only guess at.

It squinted. It tried to move.

It couldn’t. It did have a body - it was more than just thoughts - but it was strapped down by leather to a cold, hard table.

It ached from stiffness, it realized. As if its body had been lying here for nights…

But how did it know these things? How could it conceive of past nights when this was the very first time it had opened its eyes?

It tried to speak. No good; its throat was too dry, its tongue - yes, muscles for speaking - was leaden and useless.

An animal wandered up to it. A familiar animal…? No good, it couldn’t recall if the big white furry thing with the small ears and knowing dark eyes was known to it.

The animal sniffed it, then started chewing at the cords. It felt a rush of excitement.

It took a few minutes, but where was it going to go? It had no idea where it was. Who it was. Why it was here. 

It was rapidly realizing it had far more gaps than anything else in its head. An awareness that there were massive chunks missing, including context for what it did know.

As the animal finished chewing through one strap, it flexed its arm. Pale gray. Clammy. The flesh turned to metal, partway down the arm. Part of it felt that it shouldn’t be able to move.

But most of it delighted in the freedom, and several minutes later, its other three limbs and tail followed. Wobbly, hesitant, it eased its aching body off of the hard gray table and stood up, relying heavily on its large tail for balance. 

The animal nuzzled it. It wasn’t sure how to respond. It tried to nuzzle it back, feeling the press of something hard into the animal’s soft fur. The animal backed up and wheeked softly. 

Its mood plummeted. Oh no, it had offended its savior…

No nuzzling, then. 

But…

It looked at its hands, sharp and bladed. It didn’t…it didn’t want to hurt this animal.

Animals bled.

Did it bleed? 

Curiously, it cut its skin -

“No!”

Said one of the panicked voices from earlier and it looked over, recoiling in fear from the noise as it stopped. It had only made a small cut, and a few droplets of a grayish red substance oozed out.

“Oh - oh my goodness, you’re alive! You’re awake! Can you understand me? Oh, please, please don’t hurt yourself, Arty.”

It tried to speak, but again its throat was too dry, and it could only make a croaking noise.

“Oh, of course! Your throat’s dead…you’re dead, well, your body was dead, I…one moment!”

They sounded quite flustered, this voice, frantic, yet excited. It could only make them out as a blurred gray shape in red and yellow clothes, with bright green eyes. Then they turned and quickly walked away.

It stood there, unsure what to do. Follow them? But it could barely move, still…

The animal stayed a few feet out of reach. It wanted it closer again. It would be so careful and not hurt it at all. It knew it could do that.

It put a bladed hand to its face and found…metal. It tapped it. Hard and unyielding. No wonder the white creature had shied away…it was soft and warm and…

Alive.

It wasn’t really alive, was it.

“Here you go! Water! Ah - be careful. Those hands of yours are fragile.”

Carefully, it gripped the glass with both hands, shaking a bit as it drank. It nearly coughed the water back up, its throat so dry and unused to it after nights spent - yes, nights spent dead.

It must be dead. 

Yet it wasn’t.

“Why…” it said, the word slow to come, hard to say. “Why am I…” it gestured to itself. Speaking was difficult, so terribly difficult, and it had so much to ask.

The person - the troll - fidgeted and patted its arm.

“Oh, you poor thing…I meant to be here when you finally woke up! You must have so many questions…ah, but having questions is such progress! I was beginning to think…never mind! This is my first great breakthrough! All that work wasn’t for nothing!”

They sounded so jubilant, and yet…it couldn’t share in their joy.

“Arty…I promise this isn’t forever. We’ll get you fixed up! You’ll be able to do everything! Anything! You’ll be just like a normal troll, I swear. Better, even! The first living security system!”

It shrank back. What did that mean? They were talking so loudly, so fast. It put its hands to its head, dropping the glass of water It wanted the animal back.

The troll startled at the noise, but its head already ached along with its body now.

“Ah…oh dear, you’re probably a little overstimulated, I’m sorry. I’m just…you have no idea how much this means to me. But you will! I promise I’ll teach you everything. You’ll understand just how wonderful you are.”

Wonderful…

It didn’t feel very wonderful right now.

It sat down, tail curled around itself.

“I want…” it gestured at the white animal.

The troll paused. “My lusus? Oh - well, sure, why not! Go on, Baba.” It said in an encouraging tone. “Go to Arty.”

The animal looked at the troll, but then walked back over to Arty. Carefully, Arty extended a leg, its bare foot not having any blades, and touched the soft fur.

Yes. Much better.

Vaguely, it noticed the troll writing something with feverish enthusiasm. It couldn’t bring itself to care.

“I’m…dead. Who am I?”

Clumsy. Fumbling. It had to get better at speaking, as soon as possible.

“Oh! Well…your body belonged to a friend of mine.” Said the troll with a sigh. “Poor thing. Mutants tend to have health problems…we really did try to save them. They agreed to let me have their corpse for my work, and not a night passes when I wish I could thank them again. But you are Arty. Guardian artifice. It’s a nickname for who and what you are, you see? Isn’t it cute?”

Cute…like the animal, which had settled down, its nose twitching occasionally as it let Arty pet it.

Yes, it wanted to be cute too.

It nodded in agreement, the movement heavy and awkward with its metal faceplate.

The troll beamed, they thought, from what they could make out of their expression.

“Ohhh!” They said, hands clasped. “I can’t wait! This is going to be amazing!”

Whatever the troll said next, Arty didn’t hear, as it curled up next to the animal and went back to sleep.

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

congratulations on hitting 600 darling! 💕🥹💋

for the event, i’d like to recommend two fics so you can pick whichever one sparks interest:

want by erea on ao3 (nsfw, love confession)

quiet realisations pt 1 by dxckgrxsonx on tumblr (pre-relationship, full of feelings)

have a wonderful rest of your weekend!

xoxo sunnie (@fic-over-cannon)

Hi, sunnie!! Thank you so much! I adore you! 💛😍🥰

I read Quiet Realizations by @dxckgrxsonx (but I'm setting aside the ao3 fic for my TBR because anything Sunnie recommends is going to be a treat!)

How have I missed this fic!? Omg, I'm obsessed, actually going crazy other this series. The writing, the plot line, their Jason!! I feel like I ate a full meal and licked the plate. I wrote my favorite parts under the cut!

"You've been close friends for a while now, you know in the back of your head this is the next logical step forwards.

But god fucking help you, it feels like you're offering your soul on a plate."

The pining!! It's dripping through my screen. Literally such a fantastic showing of want and anxiety and what if this goes wrong?

"The latch on your window remains slightly ajar..."

"Something about letting him know that he's always welcome. That if you close it, it sends him a certain message"

Oooo!!! Ooo, this is such good insight into Jason's character, and the fact that reader understands him as a person. I love that they're able to read him and understand what he needs. Just little things like this throughout the fic is fantastic world building.

"...curled up under you blanket– in your home– is making you a little dizzy."

The imagery, just wow. To know he feels safe enough to sleep in your apartment, what a rush. I'm smiling so wide, he deserves to rest.

"His thumb strokes gently over the curved bones and part of you feel like you're going to turn to liquid..."

Im turning to liquid reading that!! Ahh!! The casual intimacy is delicious!!

"Without missing a beat Jason bites your thumb, teeth sinking in hard enough to leave a perfect indent behind."

My face is sooo warm right now. Butterflies aside, the fact they feels comfortable enough to play around with you? That he knows you won't run even if he bites? It's such great storytelling. There's so much to their relationship and you can feel how special it is for both of them.

"Grabbing his wrist, you press your fingers against his pulse point..."

"...you watch as he swallows before letting his hand drop away.

Silently, you mourn the loss of his warmth."

Yes, yes, everything about this. More casual intimacy, reaffirming touches, the desire for more. I'm at the edge of my seat!

"Jason does a funny thing then, he reacher for you, than yanks himself back."

The yearning!! The unrequited yearning that is secretly requited!!

"He takes the key from your fingers and folds it tight into his fist, like he never wants to let go."

Oh. OH. He's precious and I am in tears. He deserves the world!

It's not a big deal.

But it is.

!!! Running to part two!!!!

Oh gosh, where do I start? Jason waiting for them outside work? Literally all the lines about Gotham and him carrying weapons I devoured so fast I forgot to type out quotes. Wow! Just, wow, great storytelling.

"It's not beautiful.

But a home never really is."

I. Am. Screaming.

"... there's something beautifully warm flaring awake in your stomach when you recall the things Jason has done. The way he fiercely protects those kids..."

Just another testament to how well op understands and writes Jason Todd's character. Just, ahh, such a good paragraph.

"... you catch his fingers in your peripheral as they twitch in your direction, like he wants to reach out."

The yearning! But he's afraid to cross the boundary!

Everything about the key revel was a stab in the heart and a warm hug. Dropping to my knees.

"It was real, you want to cry, it was real, and you were just a child."

I stare at my screen for three entire minutes, trying to figure out what to type. Ow. Ouch. Oh.

"I'm always worried about you."

Yes, how could they not be? Admiting that is a big step because, of course, he's your best friend, and obviously, you're going to worry. But is that going to he too much for him to hear out loud?

"Leaning down you press a kiss to the crown of his head.

Jason sighs like you've spread balm over an aching wound."

I melted at this line! I'm in awe at the authors writing, seriously. There's so much to be said about how tender the reader and Jason are to each other. I really, really loved reading this one.

Thank you so much, sunnie, for recommending!!!

[kamyru]

Hi, @someonesaid18s ! I finally found enough inspiration to write it. I hope you'll like the result as much as I liked to write it, because family bliss is one of my favorite things to write about. Enjoy! ❤️

Kuranosuke Kiba handling MC's mood swings while she is pregnant (Kuranosuke Kiba x MC) (Scenario)

Summary: From the start of their marriage, Kuranosuke wasn't the type to filter his words or soften for his wife. However, lately, he started to see himself more and more in a situation when he had to apologize to and unusually moody MC.

Word counting: 1447

Kuranosuke sighed at the tossed-away shoes in front of him. For months he was sure that he wouldn't see this sight anymore. The man put away the bag with the eclairs he had bought on his way home and started to search for his wife, ready to scold her.

"Did you get a concussion, or why did your birdbrain forget how to put away a pair of shoes?" Kuranosuke asked from the kitchen. He was on his way to open the door of his former room that he now shared with his wife.

In their bed, Kuranosuke saw a curled-up figure wearing nothing but one of his t-shirts and underwear. MC had her back at the entrance, and she didn't even bother to look at her husband. If she did, she could have seen the redness of his ear spreading towards his cheeks. It wasn't a rare sight to see Mrs. Kiba in this attire, but it always had the power to make Kuranosuke's heart skip a beat. The man wasn't one to publicly display his affection. However, there was a set of photos with MC sleeping with Haru in his t-shirt, with messy hair, bare face, and sometimes even a drool running down at the edge of her mouth, that Kuranosuke had to forcefully stop himself from using as backgrounds to all his devices.

"You act as if you're here every day to massage my feet to have the energy to put the shoes away just like your soul desires."

Kuranosuke's eyes formed nearly perfect circles. His simp era was done. Maybe he could buy only one eclair or eat both if MC was so moody. No treats for ungrateful birds.

"Did you buy anything sweet today?" Mrs. Kiba asked in a voice that could give cavities to anyone. Kuranosuke felt guilty for thinking about eating everything alone mere seconds ago. The man returned to his simp era.

MC stood up, rubbing her exhausted face. Maybe she was right about the foot massage. She had a meeting outside the office, visited a site, and finished a proposal. And Kuranosuke, as her direct supervisor, knew this better than anyone in the office. He held out his hand to help his wife stand up. MC instantly hugged him as tight as possible, burying her face in his muscular chest. Kiba felt the urge to wrap his hands around MC as tight as possible. However, he didn't want to hurt her. He kissed the top of her head and tried to lead her toward the kitchen. It was hard to move with someone glued to him, but who was he to complain? A simple man in front of his fantastic wife.

The evening ended uneventfully, except that MC's words about foot massage had their effect, and ten minutes before going to sleep, Kuranosuke took care of his exhausted wife.

"Now, you won't have a reason to complain that I don't care enough about your feet to demand you to put your shoes in their place."

MC didn't say anything but tried to retract her leg from her husband's hands. The man felt her tensing and tightened his grip, a move that started a few seconds of war till MC surrendered. When he finally heard MC's breath getting softer, he decided to go to sleep too. Kuranosuke's eyes met Haru's, who sat on his wife's stomach this whole time. The cat hissed at him for the first time in her life when the man tried to wrap a hand around MC. Kiba felt devastated. "What's with all the females in this house today?" he whispered and turned on his side, gluing his back to MC. Haru felt pleased by this, and the family fell asleep.

The next day, Kuranosuke had to take a ten-minute break after his wife told him: "Fuck you, Kiba," when he harshly criticized one of her proposals. He tried to understand if he said something wrong or ruder than usual. It wasn't as if he tore the documents right in front of MC's eyes or told her that there was no way she was good enough at prioritizing her time to get a project she had been dreaming about her whole life. Kiba told her to redo it. Maybe he had to point out the place he disliked, but in the past, MC came up with something better without this.

The Kibas didn't interact till the end of the day. Before leaving, MC handed Kuranosuke a whole new proposal with an idea good enough to be accepted and even be nominated by the end of the year with a national prize. Kuranosuke, the man who told everyone not to mess personal and professional lives, was frightened by his wife when he saw her with papers in his hands. He didn't know how to act or what to say, fearing that his words could end their idyllic marriage.

When Kuranosuke finished all his tasks, it was already midnight. He had to hurry to be in time for the last train home. However, he didn't have the energy to do this because all his thoughts were occupied by MC. He started to feel like he was once again an introverted teenager in the middle of an extroverted family. But this time, the family didn't press him to talk or partake in events. Now, he met the consequences of his harshness.

Kuranosuke entered the house, determined to talk with MC the next time they were free. However, he didn't expect to see her eating the eclair from the previous day. He didn't touch them, but if it meant that MC was happy, she could have all the eclairs in the world. The only problem was that she was dipping them in soy sauce.

"Are you pregnant or what?" was the most sarcastic remark he could come up with in his exhausted state. For a second, Kuranosuke wished for a time-traveling machine to stop him from saying this. He didn't want to give MC more reasons to be upset with him.

"There's no way," Mrs. Kiba started, "I had my period a few…" It took her some time to remember when she had her last period. She even opened the period tracking app on her phone. "Two months ago."

Kuranosuke looked at MC, who looked at him back. The man bent to put his shoes back on and rushed out without saying a single word. MC looked at Haru, who was cuddling with her feet. Petting the cat, she started to ask her about her owner and what was on his mind. However, Haru didn't have enough time to respond because a hardly breathing Kuranosuke, with a bag in his hands, returned home in less than five minutes. MC had to take the bag from him. She knew what was in there before she looked in.

"Can you take the test right now? I'm begging you," Kuranosuke started, whispering through his breaths.

MC wanted to talk first about everything. It wasn't as if she didn't know that Kuranosuke wanted kids sooner or later. But was it the right time? A barely hearable and soft "Please" led her to the bathroom.

After four minutes that felt like hell, in which even Haru couldn't calm Kuranosuke's heart, MC finally emerged.

"I didn't look at the results. I was afraid," she answered Kuranosuke's unspoken question. The man stepped past his cat and hugged his wife.

"Let's look together," he said and led MC by her shoulders back towards the bathroom.

Haru didn't want to be left aside, so she cuddled against MC's legs. It worked, and the woman lifted the cat, searching for comfort. The entire family bent simultaneously toward the test set on the counter. Haru meowed two times, but none of the humans heard her.

"There are two lines," Kuranosuke stated.

"Yes," MC confirmed.

Putting the cat aside and getting hissed at once again, Kuranosuke lifted his wife. MC barely had any time to react. She hugged her husband back. She could swear that she heard a crack in his voice when he finally had enough strength to speak.

"We are going to have a kid. We will be parents."

MC nodded against his shoulder.

For the rest of the night, the couple talked about their plans and congratulated each other. When the dawn was minutes away, they decided to go to sleep.

"You can be as moody as you want. I don't mind," Kuranosuke whispered against MC's hair minutes after she fell asleep.

For the next few months, no, for the rest of their lives, MC got "thank you" letters for influencing Kuranosuke "The Blizzard" Kiba enough to soften him.

[edactually]

Stede POV - 6.1

Ed didn’t come over on Saturday. It was for the best, Stede thought, it would give them a bit of breathing space. He didn’t think that Ed was lying about being busy, but he still could have been giving Stede the brush off. Band meetings and rehearsals were an easy way to avoid seeing or speaking to him after all, and looking back on his texts, Stede did think that he’d been rather clingy with Ed. 

What had he been thinking, texting Ed daily? And that stupid ‘good morning sunshine’ nonsense? No wonder Ed was suddenly so busy, he was probably grateful for the chance to get away from Stede who had interpreted a couple of kisses as a chance for something more.

The more time they had spent apart this week, the more Stede had been able to gain some clarity on their situation. Ed was more experienced than he was for a start, and Stede at least had some understanding of the life of rockstars and their groupies from what he’d seen in films and television. More often than not, the adrenaline after a show led to some… promiscuous situations.

And that was completely fine, totally understandable. While he may not have understood it in practice, Stede could understand in theory the need for an outlet for all that energy after a big show. That’s what he had been, why Ed had been all over him. It wasn’t because he really wanted Stede, it was because he had been there. 

Ed had felt emotional and overwhelmed and so he’d channelled those feelings into seeking comfort from someone he was close to. Maybe Ed even thought it would be good practice for Stede to try something a little more intense. Ed was considerate enough to do something like that for him.

As much as he wanted something more with Ed, Stede knew that it just wasn’t going to happen. The best he could hope for was friends with benefits. The benefits would be fantastic, but the way Ed had described it didn’t sound like something he could manage.

‘We fuck, and that’s it. No strings attached, no feelings, no mess. Just getting each other off then going about our days.’

No feelings.

Stede knew if he began sleeping with Ed then there was no going back. There was no way he’d be able to keep his feelings platonic, he was already struggling with that as it was. And then Stede would do something stupid like blurting out that he wanted to date him and Ed would have to dump him like a sack of potatoes for being so clingy.

Casual, uncomplicated, no strings attached. That’s what Ed wanted.

It wasn’t something Stede could give him.

Sooner or later, it would just get messy and then their friendship would be completely ruined. As much as he desired Ed, he could handle not having him physically if it meant they could stay friends. If his other option was to lose Ed from his life completely when Stede inevitably ruined things, then he would happily remain celibate. It was basically how he’d lived his life the last few years, so he could handle it.

Then again, he hadn’t had someone like Ed to lust over before.

No, he could handle it. 

Best for them both to have a clean slate, and for Stede to nip any suggestion of friends with benefits in the bud before it came up. He doubted Ed would have really suggested it even after their passionate make-out session, but he still thought it best to stop any chance of it happening. Stede knew if Ed asked him then he’d be too weak to say no.

Stede could have sworn he felt disappointment radiating from Ed’s response when he’d replied to Stede’s suggestion that they just remain friends. Perhaps that was wishful thinking, perhaps it was just that Ed thought it was a shame he’d have to seek out his dalliances elsewhere, perhaps he was completely unfazed. It was difficult to understand the tone through words on a screen.

He stared at his phone screen for the rest of the day, fingers twitching to write a reply:

‘Forget what I said, the physical stuff is back in the table’

‘Fuck it, let’s just go for being friends with benefits because now that I know what kissing you is like, I can’t stand to be without it’

‘Come over tonight and let me show you exactly what I wanted to do on the roof of Spanish Jackie’s’

‘I know you’re going on tour soon so you’re just looking for some casual fun, but would you consider a long-distance relationship with someone you’ve only known for two weeks?’

Stede didn’t have the guts to send any of them.

First Post

Previous Post

Next Post

[pleasantanathema]

Pleasant’s Writer Recs!

I’ve gotten a few asks in my inbox over the past few weeks asking me for writer recs, so I thought the best way to do this was to compile a list of my fav authors on tumblr and rec my favorite fic of theirs! A lot of these amazing authors are moots—I’m very lucky to call many of them close friends. This list could be much longer, and I could go on for days about every single author, but I’ll try to keep it brief. Most all of these authors, like myself, write 18+ only content. Hopefully this can be a useful tool for authors and readers alike looking for amazing fanfic 💕

@bakatenshii | Angel is so phenomenal with her writing that I almost can’t put her style and amazing ability into words (but I’ll try). Angel’s work is beautiful, masterful, full of poetry, elegance, and smut that will all leave you gasping. Fav Fic: Blitz [Ushijima x Reader]

@blahkugo | Sunnt, Thunnth, Sunny, whatever you call her, she is brilliant. No one writes Tsukishima quite like she does. She is beyond creative and her writing style flows like the sexiest water, it’ll make you thirsty and quench your aches. Fav Fic: Tower [Tsukishima x Reader]

@deathcab4daddy | Tay is all about details, details, details. She fills in every gap and paints gorgeous, sexy pictures and situations for the reader to feel immersed in. Fav Fic: Cerulean Blue [Akaashi x Reader]

@dymphnasprose | Dymphna is all about fun, sex, and slowly filling out her holy bible of smut. She’s amazing at creating realistic sub/dom relationships and her smut almost always comes with a healthy dose of build-up. Fav Fic: Green Scrunchies [Ukai x Reader]

@enjifuckersupreme | Ketsl reigns supreme over pure, unadulterated porn. They are phenomenal at making me the reader wet, and every fic is crafted with so much care. Enji fuckers should bow down at their feet, no one loves and writes Enji like Ketsl. Fav Fic: Attitude Adjustment [Enji x Reader]

@hisoknen | Raph is one of the first dark blogs I ever started reading, and she never, ever disappoints. She writes pieces that chill you to the bone, but warms your sex- her writing is casual, smooth, and realistic, always giving you everything you need, but leaving you wanting a little more. Fav Fic: Sleeping Beauty [Dabi x Reader]

@hoe-doroki | Ana is one of the sweetest writers I know. Every time I talk to her, she’s working on comfort requests or beta-reading for other people. Her writing is such a pleasure to read, as you can tell she pours love and consideration into every fic for her readers. Fav Fic: Can’t Find My Breath [Bakugou x Reader]

@joyousandverywarlike | Zo...holy fucking shit. Zo is a writer who consistently blows me out of the water with her skill. This woman is a novelist blessing us with juicy, rich smut and love stories like no one else can. She is incredibly poetic and her writing is an absolute joy to read; she also writes amazing fics for black readers and has an amazing voice that she uses for asmr audios! Fav Fic: How We Met [Ushijima x Reader]

@lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten | Leah is an author who takes immense care with her work. She works incredibly hard to craft sexy, healthy bdsm fics for bnha. She is a great blog to go to for bdsm education, and she’s also got a side blog @lemonlordleah-extra-sour for all you extra naughty readers who like the darker side of fanfic. You should also check out her Patreon! Fav Fic: Between the Evergreen [Aizawa x Reader]

@linestrider | Nyki’s work is like smooth water, it’s calming, refreshing, but she also adds a nice, chill bite to it as well with her darker style. Nyki puts such an impressive amount of care into her work; a word is never out of place, every sentence has meaning, every paragraph gives you something new. It was very hard to choose just one fic to recommend. Fav Fic: What’s Said is Said [Hawks x Reader]

@lookslikeleese | Leese is one of the most fun writers on Tumblr, and by that I mean you just have a shitload of fun reading her fics. They are like little, sexy treats to take in right before bed and feel a little more full than you were before. She is also the Cucking Queen. Fav Fic: Cola [Enji x Reader] 

@messwriting | Lee is also another fun writer! Her writing is exhilarating to read, and you’d never guess she’s a sexy Brazilian whose second language is English based on how well she writes. She’s a little sex goddess who will give you everything you want and more in every fic. Fav Fic: What We Could’ve Been [Tsukishima x Reader]

@mindninjax | Marquie is a full on sweetie with a sexy side. She. Is. So. Creative. Every fic of hers is so unique and her masterlist is a whole reading experience. She writes Bakugou Katsuki so damn well, she’s a master at characterization, even in au’s. She also writes beautiful fics for black readers. Fav Fic: Bound to You [Bakugou x Reader]

@nekokoafanfictions | I first found Ai on Ao3, and then was fortunate enough to come across their blog here on Tumblr! I’ve said this before in previous rec lists, and I’ll say it again, I still read their fics some nights to fall asleep to, they are just that good, every fic will have you coming back at some point to read it again. Fav Fic: City Lights [Enji x Reader]

@present-mel | The. Queen. Of. Dialogue. Mel is a master at making her fanfic feel real, gritty, sexy, and beautiful all at the same time. This woman pours her heart and soul into fanfic, especially into her Erwin series Fragments of Memories. I was so captivated by her work that I just had to become her friend, her work is enchanting and thrilling. Fav Fic: Until the Fire Played [Enji x Reader]

@rat-suki | Annie makes me horny. Like, real horny. Her smut is fantastic and are often little thrill rides within themselves. Fuck rollercoasters, just go to Annie’s masterlist to find a joy ride. Fav Fic: Hell Fire [Enji x Reader]

@rivendell101 | I’m such a big fan of Alisha, that I sent her a request months ago before we even became friends. This author knows how to craft a story, her work is very meticulous with details and her plots are always so spot on. Fav Fic: Sweet Thing [Natsuo x Reader]

@smutbardpeach | Smutbard is the most accurate title for Peach, as her fics read like poetry and song, filled with beautiful language, imagery, and allusions to the brim. If you’re ever looking for something romantic, sensual, delightful, and just overall magnificent to read, this is the blog to go to. Peach’s work is like reading poetry and classics right off the shelf. Fav Fic: Truth in Wine [Hizashi x Reader]

@spicyness | Are you thirsty? Do you like fun, sexy headcanons? Ness is the author for you. Ness is so, so fun and sweet, and is active with her followers and is always posting something new and creative for us to nibble at. Her blog is full of fun thirsts and she’s always a joy to see pop-up on my dash. Fav Fic: Pride [Bakugou x Reader]

@sugardaddykenma | Lin has the most amazing brain. I wish I could just...see and understand how she thinks. Her blog is full to the brim with hilarious, iconic, and down right fucking true headcanons for haikyuu characters. Many nights I have stayed up laughing my ass off and saying “why is that so true?” while reading through her astonishingly creative work. Fav Fic: Haikyuu on Drugs

@thewheezingwyvern | Wyv is a writer who gets straight to the point; her words are poignant, meaningful, and always paint a very clear picture. She is a Shinsou and Aizawa lover/fucker all the way to her core, and she’s amazing at bringing those characters to life in her work. Fav Fic: Salt Lines [Aizawa & Shinsou x Reader]

@thisisthehardestthing | Claudia is one of the most talented writers I have ever met. Period. She has a vocabulary, a depth, an ability to craft the most intense, alluring, and magnificent fanfic you’ve ever read. Most of her work doesn’t even seem like fanfic, it reads like love letters stuffed into the pages of a book that stand the test of time with her marvelous writing abilities. She always awes me, as every single fic is unique and powerful it its own way. Fav Fic: Tocka [Tanaka x Reader]

@tomurasprincess | The Queen of Darkness herself, Mari is amazing at fulfilling all of your dark desires. I’ve never met anyone else who is as active as she is with her followers, as she’s constantly pushing herself to answer requests and give people exactly what they want to see. She has such an expansive masterlist, any dark fic lover can find something worthwhile from her! She’s almost made a Shigaraki fucker out of me, almost. Fav Fic: Wraith’s Touch [Shigaraki x Reader]

@undermattsun | Miki taught me what a skate rat is. Do I understand it yet? Not really, but I fucking like it. Miki is so much fun and is always active with her followers, giving out awesome thirsts, visuals, and headcanons for her fav haikyuu characters. Fav Fic: Flavor of the Month [Matsukawa x Reader]

@vixen-scribbles | Vixen is someone who cares about everyone around her, and her blog reflects that. Amongst all her amazing writing, you’ll always find her recommending her friends and supporting other writers. Her writing is fucking sexy, she knows her way around the bedroom when it comes to fics, and she’s got a lengthy masterlist to fawn over. Fav Fic: Take All of Me [Ushijima x Reader]

@whats-her-quirk | Truly, the best has been saved for last. June’s work is the heart and soul of classic, fucking amazing fanfic. I can’t even explain how much I love her fics, like they will put the biggest smile on your face and have your thighs rubbing together in anticipation. June is writing her fantasies and having fun, and we are privileged to enjoy the ride with her. She knocked kinktober out of the fucking park, with each fic being a new, fresh delight. Fav Fic: Once in a Blue Moon [Karasuno x Reader Gangbang]

This list could honestly be twice as long, and perhaps in the future I’ll make a companion to it as I meet new authors and read more amazing fanfic. Please give all these authors a follow or at least check out their blogs. 💖

[marybeatriceofmodena]

You know, I’ve been thinking today about how Alina doesn’t even really work as a Reluctant Hero, compared her to Frodo to see the key differences (since Frodo is pretty much the Poster Child for the Reluctant Hero), and then I realized... 

You know, I think L/eigh B/ardugo wrote TGT as a very black-and-white fairytale, where Alina is the princess, Mal’s the knight in the shining armor, and the Darkling is basically the dragon, except it doesn’t really work because the worldbuilding requires an approach that’s... a lot more grey? 

The thing is, though, I realized... Alina and Mal are basically meant to be Frodo and Sam. Except that, again... it doesn’t really work. 

Frodo works as a Reluctant Hero, because he makes it clear multiple times that he doesn’t want to carry the Ring. He asks Gandalf to do it for him, he asks Galadriel, he asks Aragorn, and they all refuse, because they are (or are called to be) in a position of power, and while them being in a position of power is presented as good, the One Ring essentially represents the fast, easy way to get to it, which will ultimately corrupt them rather than have them fight their way towards their goal. 

Frodo, meanwhile, is the right person to carry the Ring, because he comes from a humble place and he doesn’t really have any aspirations to become powerful. And while he’s clearly burdened by having to carry the One Ring, and that he makes it clear that he wishes the Ring had never come to him, he still goes on anyway, despite all the hardships he faces, because his ultimate goal is to save the Shire and his friends, and that desire is stronger than any fear or greed he may have. 

Now, J.R.R. Tolkien himself said that he didn’t really see Frodo as THE Hero, and that Sam is the real Hero of the story to him. Which makes sense, given how Sam was based off young men from rural England he met while fighting in World War I. But also, the story makes it very clear that without Sam, who’s arguably the most pure-hearted person in all of Middle-Earth, Frodo would have definitely failed in his task. The reason why he resists the temptation to carry the One Ring is LITERALLY because him protecting and helping Frodo is more important to him. Sam doesn’t give two shits about power. Helping Frodo save the Shire and coming back to everything he’s ever loved is more important to him. 

Both Alina and Frodo are pure-hearted orphans who are given tremendous power: Alina is the Sun Summoner, and Frodo carries the One Ring. In both cases, power is represented as a corruptive force, that makes people go mad with greed. It works in the context of The Lord of the Rings, given how the rings were given to leaders of Elves, Dwarves and Men, and that Sauron created the One Ring to rule over and control all of them. The Grisha, on the other hand, unlike the Ring-bearers, are not in a position of power, given they are essentially victims of Fantastic Racism in pretty much every country. While Ravka treats them slightly better than in Fjerda or Shu Han, it’s still not ideal and it’s something that could be taken away from them at any moment. It would be an entirely different matter if the Grisha were the ones rulling over Ravka and viewing otkazat’sya as lesser, and in that context, Alina being the Sun Summoner would be a very obvious road to her becoming corrupted. 

Frodo refusing to carry the One Ring and asking other people to take that burden from him comes from a place of genuine fear of what the Ring might do to him. In his place, we’d probably all do the same thing. That’s what makes his acceptance of his task all the more admirable. Alina, on the other hand, refuses to be the Sun Summoner and to help her fellow Grisha because that stands in the way of her ending up with Mal. She never gives any sign that she’s truly empathizing with the Grisha’s plight, she tries to run away not once, but twice, and most importantly, she never sees herself as one of them. They are othered, but it matters little to her, because she doesn’t want to be othered herself, because that stands in the way of her running off with a boy. It’s basically the equivalent of Frodo being overcome by fear after seeing the fate of the Shire in Galadriel’s mirror, and just demanding to be sent to the Grey Havens straight away to save his own ass from it all and just leaving the One Ring to whoever wants to deal with it. At that point, it’s not being a Reluctant Hero: it’s being a coward at best, a selfish bastard at worst. 

(And that’s why I don’t really buy her when she tells Aleksander that they could have had it all if he had told her all the truth from the start, because... again, she didn’t seem to care about the Grisha that much and Aleks telling her everything would have actually been a sure way of having her run as fast as possible the other way. I know the story is trying to tell me otherwise and that the plot point I’m supposed to see here is that Alina was willing to do something until she felt betrayed by Aleks, which is... not what was shown here, and it’s especially annoying considering how Alina is a deserter in every sense of the word, and that any army would have court-martialed her for running away.) 

So if Alina is meant to be a pure, selfless heroine, who loses her powers because she also refuses to be greedy... that just falls completely flat, because if anything, she’s as selfish as Frodo is selfless, because all of this really just boils down to her wanting to run off with Mal. 

Now, onto Sam and Mal. Both of them are basically Everymen who are there to help the Hero and keep their feet on the ground. As mentioned earlier, Sam is the one who helps Frodo finish his mission to Mordor, and the story makes it clear Frodo would have failed without him. TGT meanwhile presents Mal as Alina’s “True North”... which could work on paper as Alina’s reminder to temper Aleksander’s efforts and to remind him that in order for Grisha to be viewed as people, it is important for them to also remember that balance and peace between Grisha and otkazat’sya will be essential, so resentment and hatred can be healed between both groups. 

The key difference here is that Sam is completely supportive of Frodo at all times. Even when Frodo sends him away in the film, Sam goes back after him the minute he realizes he’s been tricked by Gollum. He never shames Frodo whenever he falls prey to temptation, he simply reminds him of who he is and what he must fight for, and even when he’s climbing Mount Doom, he still carries Frodo on his back despite being probably completely exhausted, because Frodo’s more exhausted than he is. He completely accepts Frodo as both his friend, the Hobbit from the Shire, and the Ring-bearer he needs to help, even if he might die in the process. 

Mal (in the books, that is) makes it very clear that he does not accept Alina as both the girl he knew and the Sun Summoner. He only wants the girl, and whenever Alina makes steps towards being the Sun Summoner, he basically sulks and yells at her for not paying attention to him. Despite Alina becoming othered in the eyes of the world, he refuses to see her as othered, mostly because it is inconvenient to him rather than because he loves her for who she is. That’s why in the end, people feel like Alina lost her powers in order to be with Mal, because Mal would never accept her in her entirety. Sam, on the other hand, accepts Frodo as both Ring-bearer and Hobbit, because if he didn’t, Frodo would have failed. 

And while they made Mal in the show a lot nicer than his book counterpart, he still doesn’t work as Alina’s “True North”, because he cossets her in her selfishness. He may say he doesn’t care about how Alina is a Grisha in this one, but he also doesn’t consider the implications of it all - which is especially glaring given he’s a soldier himself. Like, look, if you’re going to slap in a racism plotline to make Mal/ina work, you’d think that being half-Shu would give Mal a little awareness that people are going to treat Alina badly for being half-Shu AND a Grisha, and given Alina is the MOTHERFUCKING SUN SUMMONER AND A SAINT, maybe, just maybe he’d tell her: “Heh, it’s kinda lame we’ll just run off and let everyone else in the dust, you know, especially since we could make our lives as well as everyone else’s better?” Seriously, if you’re going to make Mal Alina’s “True North”, have him face her duties and her calling whether she likes it or not, don’t coddle her when she wants to run the other way because she wants to hide under a rock for the rest of her life. 

With all that being said, that leaves us with the Darkling, who... I mean, given his whole schtick is that power corrupts and makes you evil and crazy, I guess that makes him Gollum, but sexy. 

Gollum, but sexy. 

That single expression has been haunting me ever since I started writing the above novel and I fucking hate it. You’re welcome. No one wanted Sexy Gollum. Absolutely no one. Fuck this shyte. See, this is why I want Darkling Redemption. I do not want to live in a world where Gollum is sexy. I need brain bleach. 

Even here it doesn’t even fucking work because Gollum hid in a cave with the Ring with a strategically placed cloth because no one wants to see his crusty ass family jewels anyway, while Aleks worked his ass off to give the Grisha a safe place to live and to at the very least ensure they’re useful enough to not be killed like animals. Like, if you’re going to give the world something that’s gonna definitely not make me sleep tonight like Sexy Gollum, at least do it right. 

[mandoalorian]

sensational

Maxwell Lord x F!Reader

Summary: Maxwell is away on a business trip for work, and you’re missing him more than you anticipated.

Word count: 2,2k

Warnings: 18+ smut; guided masturbation, male masturbation, female masturbation, light degradation, edging, orgasm denial, phone sex, long distance after care 🥺

Authors note: I’ve missed writing. So here’s a little something for Maxie cuz I’ve missed him too :( <3

Maxwell had only been gone sixteen hours. He left at 6am, and it was currently: you rolled over to check the time on your bedside alarm clock. 10pm. You frowned, pulling the crushed velveteen blankets up to your chin. He was probably fast asleep now anyway— after the flight and a long day proposing business scheme after business scheme.

You missed him a lot. He promised to call you every morning and every night, so long as he wasn’t swamped at the office. That was his promise and truthfully, you thought you’d be okay. He was only due to be away for a week. You knew a lot of other long-distance couples had it much worse. But being alone in his big suburban house was more isolating than you had ever even considered. It felt empty without him, and it didn’t feel like home anymore.

At least tomorrow you’d get to see Alistair, so that was a plus. You mentally groaned as you remembered how you were going to have to visit Maxwell’s ex-wife in order to pick up his son. She didn’t seem to like you all that too much, and to be honest, you could probably do without the chore of visiting her every Tuesday evening and putting up with her crap. It would be okay though. Alistair was worth it.

Your mind wandered back to your boyfriend. Your smart, handsome and powerful boyfriend with the honey coloured hair and chocolate brown eyes. He was always soft and warm— and a fantastic lover. Not only he was an excellent businessman, but he was also a brilliant father and a wonderful partner. He really was the perfect man for you.

You smiled wickedly to yourself as you remembered last night, and the antics you had both gotten up to before he had to leave in the morning. It was a long, passionate night. Your fingers ghosted over the love bites and bruises that were peppered across your neck and collarbones, and you gasped at the memory, a familiar heat rushing down your body.

If only he was here now… you two could’ve done it all over again.

Your glazed eyes flicked up to the telephone that was on your bedside table. You must’ve been staring at it for a good few minutes, contemplating things. Maxwell had scrawled the number to his hotel room down on a card before he’d left… just in case of an emergency.

You dipped your hand down to your cunt and felt your breathing hitch as you gathered all your slick on your fingers. You hadn’t realised just how wet you’d become.

Just call him. The devil on your shoulder urged. If he was sleeping, you certainly didn’t want to wake him but… surely there was no harm in an innocent goodnight call. At least then, you could hear his warm voice and his articulate words.

Maxwell Lord had you whipped.

Sighing, you took the phone from the hook and dialled his number. He answered on the first two rings.

“Hey honey,” he had a tired lilt to his voice, but just the depth and richness of his tone was enough to set a blaze in your tummy. “I was just about to go to bed,” he continued. “It’s late. Why are you still up?”

Yes, his voice was giving you everything you had desired, and more.

You swallowed thickly, your finger tracing lazy circles over your clit. “Mm couldn’t sleep. Was thinkin’ bout you.” you revealed, trying to keep your voice as steady as possible. If you could get off to his voice alone, without having him notice what you were doing, that would be perfect. If he did catch on that you were touching yourself without his permission though… that would be a different story. “Miss you.” you exhaled, your eyes snapping shut.

“I miss you too sweetheart,” Max sighed, and you could faintly hear him shuffle around in his bed, the sheets making a fuzzy noise on the other end of the line. “What— what were you thinking about?”

The question was a trap. You knew Max all too well. He was right to have his suspicions.

You didn’t even bother opening your eyes, and you tried to repress a longing whine as your finger involuntary picked up speed, like some kind of reflex reaction to his question. “S-stuff,” you stammered out when you felt your fingers begin to dampen and slip between your folds. But ‘S-stuff’ was hardly going to be good enough for Maxwell. You dipped two fingers inside you, surprised at how well they were stretching you. “Mm— Max, miss— I miss—“

You couldn’t even finish your sentence, already close to pushing your first climax out.

“Princess?” Max asked. “You there?”

Your response was delayed but was followed by a stifled moan that wasn’t lost on Max whatsoever. “Need you.” you gasped out, dropping the phone to your pillow by your head so you could use your other hand to rub yourself.

The friction of your digits rubbing against that sweet spot and the way your index finger and middle finger curled up inside of you was too much. You could feel yourself coming undone.

“Oh,” Max omitted knowingly, unable to contain the small smirk that was crossing his lips. “Oh baby.”

He felt his cock twitch from the faint little whimpers you were making, and he slid his hand under the waistband of his light grey sweats, freeing his already semi-hard erection.

“Tell me princess,” Max hummed. “What ‘stuff’ were you thinking about?”

Fuck. You wanted to curse. He knew. He clearly knew you were touching yourself to the sound of his voice; probably thinking you were needy and desperate. But you were. You really were and you’d give anything just to feel his hands on you right now.

“S-so much,” you answered, trying your hardest to collect your thoughts for him. “Undressing me. Caressing me. Mm, you playing with my tits like you always do. Kissing them— sucking them. Biting…” you reluctantly pulled your finger from your clit and began to palm at your breasts. “Come home.”

The two words were practically begging him. You ached for him. Your entire body was burning with arousal and you needed him more than you’d ever needed anyone before.

You knew it was a stupid request; and that he couldn’t just ‘come home’. But if you could have one wish— it would be for him to be on top of you right now, smothering you with kisses and whispering dirty little words into your ears.

“M-Max?” your voice was broken as you continued curling your fingers inside of you.

His fingers were wrapped around his own length now, pumping it as he imagined you sprawled out, naked on his king-sized bed. The grey sweats and white shirt had been long discarded onto the floor.

“I’m right here baby,” he assured, gathering the beads of milky white precum and rubbing it up and down his cock. “I’m here. Why— why don’t you take my pillow and grind your pretty pussy over it hm? I know you can get off like that, you dirty girl.”

Another uncontrollable whine omitted from your lips at his light degradation. You followed his orders, knowing better than to disobey. Taking his pillow, you got on your knees and positioned it in between your legs, holding the phone to your ear as you began to thrust your hips.

You imagined it be his lap. You’d rubbed yourself over his thighs plenty of times, making a mess of his designer pants and creating stains not even the drycleaner’s could remove. His pillow still vaguely smelt of his apple scented shampoo and it only spurred you on even more.

“I bet you look so pretty right now,” Maxwell grunted. “My pretty girl. What are you?”

You squeezed your eyes shut as the pleasure rifed through your veins. “I’m your pretty girl.” you confirmed, feeling your cheeks heat up when Max chuckled.

It was a sensation overload— and you knew you wouldn’t be able to last. Maxwell knew too, judging by the way your moans picked up and became jagged. “God— Ma-Mmm—Max,” your thoughts were fuzzy and jumbled as you increased your pace. You wanted to feel something inside of you again. Your fingers or a dildo or— something, anything. But you weren’t even sure if you’d get the chance. “I’m so close,” you warned. “Gonna— gonna cum—“

“No,” Max said darkly, his voice having lowered an octave. “Roll on your back princess, and pull the pillow off you.”

You wanted to cry. You knew he always liked to play these games.

“B—but,” you choked out, wanting to finish and reach your orgasm.

“Don’t make me ask again.”

He was using that scary business voice. The one you often overheard when he was on the phone with partners or associates. Reluctantly you pulled the pillow away from your weeping cunt put it back in its place.

“O-okay,” you mused, wiping the tears that had pricked at the corner of your eyes as you changed position and got comfortable on your back, just like he’d instructed.

“I wish I was with you sweetheart, wish I could fuck your little pussy. How wet are you?”

“Very.” you replied exasperated, desperately waiting for him to let you touch yourself again.

“Show me,” Maxwell smiled wickedly. “Move the phone in between your legs and finger yourself. I want to hear you.”

You frantically followed his instruction and inserted your two fingers inside of you, pushing them deep and curling them upwards so they hit that hot, spongey sweet spot. Your legs were shaking and your back was arched over top of the satin sheets as you panted your boyfriend’s name.

Max was more than thrilled to hear the squelching wet noise that echoed throughout the comfort of yours and his shared bedroom, with every thrust and curl of your fingers. It felt good but… it just wasn’t him.

Now his own broken gasps were audible. You loved to hear him. He always got loud when he was close. That’s how you knew he was about to finish. “So— so good. Sweetest cunt in the whole fuck—fucking world. When I come home I— gonna fuck you so hard.” he promised in between shaky breaths.

Your lips curled into a grin and you arched your back as your slick dipped down the softness of your inner thighs. After all the edging and over stimulation, there was no way you were going to last. This was exactly what you wanted; Max may not have been physically there but his voice alone had always worked wonders.

“Can we— can we cum togeth—“ your request was fuzzled by the way you buried your head into your pillow, feeling a warm flush of heat race to your core.

“Yes,” Max cut you off impatiently. “Are you close?”

“Y-yeah, I don’t think I can hold it—“

“You can baby, you can. I’m going to count down from three and we’ll cum together. Okay?”

You were a screaming sweating mess at this point, and his countdown couldn’t have felt any slower. Three seconds felt like three years as you mustered all your will to obey him.

“Three, two, one—“

He didn’t even say zero. The countdown was followed by a long groan falling from his lips as his milky white seed spilt all over his fist and his tummy. His cry pushed you over the edge and you released your own climax, spasming and shaking on his side of the bed.

You curled up under his sheets, still shaky, and pulled the phone back to your ear. “Hi,” you whispered sheepishly. “That was good.” you bit down on your lip, smiling to yourself. Your own voice was a little hoarse from all the moaning and whimpering.

“Yeah,” Max agreed, smiling himself. “Are you okay?”

“I’m tired,” you admitted with a huff, relishing in his cologne scented blankets.

“Wish I was there to clean you up,” Max sighed, and for a split second, he pondered the consequences of catching the next flight home.

He always took care of you after sex, paying a meticulous amount of detail to how you acted after your moments of shared intimacy. He’d fetch you water and wipe away any mess with a warm wash cloth. Sometimes he’d even help you into some cozy pyjamas or one of his shirts.

“I can go clean myself up, don’t worry about me,” you hummed in contentment. “Are you okay?”

“I’m perfect baby,” he grinned “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

“I can let you go—“

“No,” you cut him off, clutching onto the phone not wanting him to leave. Yeah you’d missed the amazing sex but truthfully, you’d missed him the most. “Can we uhm, can we just stay here on the phone together? Fall asleep together? I— I want you to be there when you wake up.”

Max hesitated for a moment, but he didn’t see a problem with your request. In fact, he thought it was a wonderful idea.

“Yeah, of course honey,” he replied softly. “I’m gonna go wipe myself down. You should do the same.”

“O-okay,” you sniffed. “I love you. I won’t be long.”

When you returned, Max was already waiting for you. “Princess?” he called, when he heard you shuffle back into bed.

“Hiya,” you giggled, rubbing your eyes. “I’m sleepy.” you admitted, your statement followed by a yawn.

Max chuckled. “Has my girl worn herself out?”

You laughed and nodded your head. “Yeah.”

“Okay sweetheart, let’s go sleep.” Max hummed, resting the phone by his pillow and closing his eyes.

“Okay, good night Maxie.” you mused softly.

“Good night honey.” He returned, before you both fell asleep.

——————

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl20 @phoenixhalliwell @xoxo-callie @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @girl-obsessed-with-things @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja200 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @rye-flower @theamuz @persie33 @sleepylunarwolf @martellthemandalor @pedro-pastel @steeevienicks @rrtxcmt @readsalot73 @softmedics @jade10077 @dodgerandevans @planetariumx @pascals-cat @ajeff855 @spideysimpossiblegirl @smoldjarin @thewayofthemandalorian

[oogaboogasphincter]

The 50/10 Method (Agent Whiskey x f!reader)

Summary: Jack makes the most of your 10 minute study break. 

Word Count: 2.7k+

Rating: E (explicit) 18+ ONLY! bc this is just cringey smut lmfao

Warnings: smut (oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (obvi use protection irl), very easily and conveniently reached orgasms (this is a fantasy i can do what i want skjfkd), dirty talk, one (1) allusion to thigh riding and one (1) instance of 💙spitting💙, fingering, positions i hope i've given enough detail so y’all can imagine what i was picturing💀), pet names (sweetheart, honey, cowboy *affectionately*, good girl, baby), there’s a sentence about reader having long-ish hair, reader and jack have a dog, swearing, reader is afab and is called things like good girl and the like, just overall trash grammar and structure 😇

Author’s Note: so this is very poorly written and extremely self-indulgent, as i myself use the 50/10 method 🙃. but i had a lot of fun with it, and i think that’s what writing is supposed to be all about! :) also i was heavily inspired to write this after reading “Take a Break” by @mellowswriting​ and “Study Buddy” by @pascalpanic​. please go check those out because they’re absolutely fantastic!!!!! +while you’re at it, i would highly advise you to read anything on their masterlists bc they’re just 💜exquisite💜

gif by @thernandalorian​

The lines of text on your computer screen are starting to blend into each other, creating a single run-on sentence that one of your previous English teachers would ridicule the author for. The sharp curves and angles that distinguish each letter from the next are becoming soft and dull, blurring into each other until your brain can only recognize it as a smeared streak of black on white.

It’s 11:00am on a Saturday, a big exam set for the upcoming Monday’s morning. You don’t feel rushed for time, or overloaded with unknown material, and the early hours of the day have been quite productive. Following a shared breakfast of homemade waffles in bed with Jack, your boyfriend, you didn’t complain when setting up your study station on the living room’s large oak table. If anything, you had been excited to begin studying early in the hopes of finishing your review by the end of the day. That way, tomorrow would be free for you and Jack to do whatever you pleased.

However, as the hours went by, your motivation was slowly but surely diminishing. The serene study atmosphere that you usually thrive in is now driving you mad. You yearn for a noise, any noise; a bird to sing a song in the tree outside your window, the smack of your dog’s loose wrinkles against each other as he attempts to shake the sleep out of him, a pencil unable to stop itself from rolling and dropping onto the floor with a tink.

You’re momentarily gifted with the crisp sound of a page turning. You flit your eyes over to gaze upon the source of your granted wish and your heart flutters in reaction to the sight: Jack’s resting on the couch, cowboy hat balanced on the back of it, deeply absorbed in the next installment of his favorite murder-mystery series. You find it curious that his desire for an adrenaline-filled challenge doesn’t stop when he comes home from mission after mission that nearly cost him his life. You’ll ask him about his insatiability one day, but for now you categorize it as fictional research for his Statesman assignments.

Your short glance quickly turns into an entranced stare. Jack looks... divine. Fetching. Luscious. As he’s lying on his back, neck propped up against the arm of the couch, his book balanced on his chest, relaxation radiates off of him in waves and utterly seduces you. You’re surprised that he hasn’t been a greater distraction to you throughout the morning. How have you managed to ignore the denim-wearin’, plaid-shirted, pornstache-sportin’ cowboy of your dreams that is only a few steps away?

Involuntarily, the thigh muscles of your crossed legs contract in an effort to bring some semblance of friction to your now weeping core. Similar to your imaginings of your dog earlier, you shake your head to force these heavy, unwanted feelings to dissipate and turn back to the work in front of you. Of course, Jack does the opposite of what you’d like him to do and takes an interest in your fidgeting. He peeks over the top of his book, “You cold, sweetheart?” 

His question is reasonable: you’re purposely wearing a skirt that’s so short it rides up quite high when you sit. You don’t dare to meet his eyes and answer while pulling a textbook close and opening it up, “No, I’m okay.”

Fortunately he returns to his reading. Your attention is able to retain itself for about a paragraph, but then your mind takes a sharp detour back to those pesky, steamy desires. You mentally huff at your inability to remain concentrated on your studies and rifle through the options of what you can do to satiate yourself for the time being. 

You could switch texts and force your brain to recognize the change and therefore become distracted. You could pick out some colored writing utensils and bring some fun to active reading. You could say fuck it, go straddle Jack and beg him to use you in whichever way he would like.

Jack interrupts your brainstorming, “Are you sure you don’t need a blanket or sumthin’? I can go get my jacket for ya.” 

The attentiveness of your southern lover melts your heart. You turn to him, “No, really, I’m okay, thanks.”

“I wouldn’t count a bathroom break as taking away from your 50 minutes, honey, if that’s what’s makin’ you twitch.” 

You had been implementing and strictly adhering to the 50/10 method all morning: study for 50 minutes, take a break for ten. Its effectiveness was never doubted, as it has proven to work for you for years. Only ten minutes into this 50 minute period, the devil of restlessness pokes at you and makes you think could time go by any slower? A hand comes up to cover the blush creeping across your cheek as you dismiss Jack’s suggestion, “No, that’s not it.”

Behind your embarrassed hand, Jack cocks an eyebrow at you. Your simple choice of words has given the Agent a hint, that there is something that’s bothering you, he just hasn’t figured it out yet and you don’t want to admit what it is for some reason. He returns to his book, however lost in thought about what your problem could be, while you task every cell in your body to pay attention to your studies. 

35 minutes remain on the clock, and Jack guesses, “Did you have too much coffee?”

You can’t help but grin at his sleuthing, “No, I just had my regular.”

He conjures up another possible solution five minutes later, “Are you itchin’ to get out of the house? We haven’t left in two days.”

He’s getting warmer. Both of you know exactly why you haven’t left the house in two days: you’d been occupied with activities of the sinful variety. You can’t gauge yet whether or not he knows he’s dancing around the answer, “Baby, you’re distracting me. And nope, it’s not that.” 

He smiles apologetically, “Sorry,” and uses his book as a partition, blocking your ability to procrastinate and just visually drool all over him.

Silence fills the next 20 minutes. Even though Jack is out of your sight, details from your observations exaggerate themselves in your mind to the point that they’re all encompassing, intoxicating. The way his jeans wrap around his legs ever so perfectly, the worn denim hugging those muscular thighs that he loves for you to grind yourself against when you’re feeling especially desperate (like now). How his plaid flannel slopes over the swell of his belly, stretching tight against his skin as his diaphragm contracts and deflating when he exhales. Even his large feet, strewn about lazily on the couch, his toes pointing in different directions, amuse you. 

Ten minutes remain in your study session. Feeling guilty about spending the majority of the last hour envisioning the seductive intricacies of your boyfriend, you actually start to study. 

“How many times do you think I can make you cum in ten minutes?”

Your eyes are ripped from your material and land on the menace lazing on the couch. He’s put his book down, one arm behind his head while the other is crooked, allowing himself to palm his cock through his pants. Jack’s wearing a shit-eating grin, bewitching your crossed legs to switch which one is on top; an excuse to apply more pressure to the yearning area between them. You fidget in the chair, shamefully trying to get the seam of your underwear to rub against you in just the right way. You shrug, “I-I’m not sure.”

He gets up and comes over to you, standing behind you and leaning forward to rest his chin on your shoulder. He murmurs in your ear, “I think we should find out during your next break.”

You turn to face him, “I think so too.”

He gives you a quick kiss, “Well, you better be a good girl and study for these last few minutes. Earn that break.” He places his large hands on either side of your head and turns it toward your materials, making you both laugh.

Somehow, you’re able to pay attention. Jack’s impending promise of ravaging you for ten minutes straight quells your jittering nerves and gives you something specific to look forward to. Before you know it, your alarm is beeping, alerting you that your break has commenced. Jack cages you by reaching forward and grabs the clock, programs it to ten minutes and keeps it in his hand. He grips the sides of your swivel chair, pulls it back from the table and spins you around to face him, the speed of the turn making your hair swoosh across your shoulders. Through mutual giggles, Jack lifts you up, winding your legs around his waist, your arms doing the same around his neck. “I want you to count for me how many times you cum.”

Breathlessly, you simply obey, “Okay.”

He practically runs to the bedroom. He sets the clock on the nightstand and turns the face towards the mattress so you don’t lose out on studying time. Tossing you onto the bed, your giggling continues as you bounce from the force. Jack hooks his fingers in your underwear and yanks them down, pulling them out from under your skirt and over your shoes. The way he wastes no time ridding you of any other garment makes blood and heat flood your center and air rush out of your lungs. He pushes your lost air back into your mouth with a kiss and then immediately retreats back to in between your legs.

He flicks the fabric of your skirt up onto your belly, letting himself have complete, unobstructed access to his early lunch. His fingers fondle your folds while his lips place sloppy kisses along the inside of your thighs. After he’s had his fill of that step, he sits back and stares at you: spread out for him, more than willing to take anything he wants to give to you. He blows out a whistle, eyeing your core, and you say, “Hey, you’re on the clock, cowboy. No time for dramatics.”

He nods, a smirk pulling at one side of his mouth, “You’re right, sweetheart.”

He spits onto your cunt, forgoing his usual gentle licks to adequately wet your pussy. A quiet fuck escapes your mouth as he plunges his tongue into you. Your fingers wind themselves in his chocolatey locks and pull, extracting an excited moan from your lover. His fingers knead the soft flesh on the backs of your thighs as he eats and when his mustache starts to tickle your clit, you’re done for. Your grip on his hair becomes vice-like and your whole body seizes up, constricted by enrapturing pleasure. You strangle out, “One.”

Jack unlatches his mouth only once he’s certain your first orgasm is complete. He stands, admires your wrecked expression, takes his cock out, spits into his hand and pumps his dick a few times. Hands slithering around your waist, he flips you onto your stomach and pulls your ass up, positioning you on your hands and knees. You’re a little bit dizzied by his manhandling in combination with his expert tongue, but this type of vertigo is the most enjoyable you’ve ever experienced. 

When he pushes into you, it’s a bit of a stretch because he hadn’t warmed you up with his fingers. He relaxes you by leaning forward, pressing his chest against your back and peppering soft kisses to your shoulder blades. The clink of his belt comically punctuates his thrusts, but your laughs are swallowed by intoxicated groans. You don’t know, and you don’t really care to figure out, how he already has you teetering on the edge of cumming again. Heightened senses tell you that you’re close; the fabric of his shirt feels unearthly soft as it brushes against patches of exposed skin, his fingertips are delightful lead in their clamp on you, his grunts and pants angelically reverberate in your skull. And then, suddenly and all at once, “Two.”

Jack’s pride shows itself in a smirk while he flips you onto your back. He makes a show of hooking your calves over his shoulders, eliciting laughter from the both of you. Resting almost all of his weight on top of you, your knees find your chest and his hands find your hair. The intimacy of it all is almost too much; his thumbs stroke your temples, palms cradle your head, those goddamned puppy-dog eyes bore into you. You turn your head in his grasp to check your timing: five minutes left. 

Jack’s tongue darts out to lick the pads of his fingers before he snakes it down in between the two of you to rub your clit. Your moans come out uncontrollably, your eyelids stutter and he eggs you on, “That’s it, sweetheart. Give me another one.”

Hearty moans are reduced to desperate gasps and you’re unable to verbally acknowledge the third orgasm that rips through you. Nonetheless, Jack can tell from the way your eyes roll into the back of your head and his name tumbles ferociously out of your mouth that you’re cumming. “’Atta girl.”

Jack takes his cock out of you and the whine that escapes your lips embarrasses you. He can’t help but laugh at your whimpering before he scoots down the bed and starts to eat you out again, framing his head with your quaking thighs. You find the strength to check the time, “Jack, there’s only a minute and a half left.”

He moans deeply into you, unaffected by your comment, and eases three fingers into your fluttering center. Like earlier, your hands fly to his hair like a magnet and find purchase so tight it makes your knuckles go pale. In a matter of seconds, circling your clit with his sopping tongue and tapping your g-spot with his deft fingers, Jack has you cumming yet again. This time you yell out the count, “Four!”

The sounds his ministrations make are lewd and exhilarating, pushing himself to his own precipice. You look down your body to find Jack’s other hand jerking his cock and his seed spilling out of him moments later. He groans into your pussy while you pet his hair, praising him for his efforts. 

Simultaneously, you both remember that you’re being timed. Your eyes meet the clock at the same time: 30 seconds. Jack springs from the bed and pulls you up with him, grabbing your discarded panties. He squats and taps your ankles so you lift your legs up, sliding each leg hole over your body and pulling your underwear up underneath your skirt. 

You fumble with his mussed clothes, stuffing his still-hard cock into his boxers, hiking his jeans up over his ass and zip and button them closed. You snake his belt around his waist and let his fingers do the work of buckling it before he picks you up bridal style and ushers you out of the bedroom, grabbing the clock off of the nightstand on your way out. 

Unhinged cackles follow you two down the hallway as you return to the living room. He plops you down in your chair, straightens you out, gives you a kiss on the cheek and then your alarm goes off. You raise your eyebrows at him, “Jeez, you didn’t waste a second.” 

He hums, then mumbles, “You get back to work now, babygirl,” and leaves you with a yearning kiss on the part of your hair.

Both of you return to your respective readings, hopelessly trying to downgrade your panting gasps to normal breaths. The absence of Jack’s warmth is already painful. But you rationalize that the indulgence of the last ten minutes is more than enough to get you through this next hour of studying, if not for longer.

Little do you know that Jack feels the same pain. His ache for your touch, sexual or not, will overtake him later and he’ll be unable to resist the temptation of coming over and distracting you again. Determined to finish your studying, you’ll propose a compromise: you can sit in his lap while he is lulled to sleep by the ambience of the afternoon rain and the enveloping comfort of you. The two of you can try to beat the record of four orgasms next semester. 

💘taglist: @pascalpanic​, @mellowswriting​

[gay-otlc]

Keepers Of The Chaos (Chapter 1)

The first chapter of the Tumblr KOTLC Fandom Fandom story is here!

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing

Word count: 1204

Read on AO3

Linh leans into the microphone. "Welcome to the Twins of the Chaos podcast," she says.

"Where some chaotic twins discuss our favorite show, Keepers of the Chaos," adds Tam. He tugs at his silver tipped bangs. "I'm Tam, and my sister's Linh, and today, we're going to be talking about why you should watch KOTC. Now, if you're one of our five regular listeners, you've probably already seen it, but feel free to share this with a friend or relative to convince them to watch this show!"

Smiling, Linh takes the microphone back and continues. "In this show, there's a group of very, very chaotic friends who all go to Tumblr High School together. As soon as they return after New Year's, their principal informs the school of a writing competition taking place between high schools, with other opportunities for extras like drawing or animation. Every member of the winning team gets a free scholarship to an arts school the characters all want to go to, but don't like their chances of getting in normally or paying, so they sign up. Through the nine episode season, taking place over the month of January, the characters in the writing competition start on the premise, get sidetracked, come up with some truly horrifying ideas, write some gay short stories, and, as the title promises, act very chaotic."

"Now, the writing prompt that the group has to build on is kind of... fuckin' weird," Tam says, barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "They have to write about a girl named Sophia, who's twelve years old and can read minds, who meets a teal- yes, teal- eyed boy named Finn, who tells her she's an elf. Then, she travels to the elf world, where she struggles a bit at elf school, makes friends with some other elves, learns that she is an illegal creation of a rebel group called the Dark Duck, and another rebel group- the Rarelynoticed- tries to kidnap and kill Sophia and her friend Deck. And yes, we're aware that the names are shitty but the characters in the show really get into mocking them, so that's an upside."

Linh laughs a little at the names. "There are a lot of rebels, you might have noticed," she adds.

Tam nods. "Yeah, I noticed. There are a lot of rebels because their government sucks. There's a council of twelve really old elves, and only two of them are alright, then one of those two dies, and then one of the previously bad ones turns good."

"The characters in the show were given a very detailed list of worldbuilding, plot, and character details. We don't have to read the whole thing, though- they just consult it when it's relevant."

"But writing about Sophia and the Dark Duck isn't the only plot of KOTC, thankfully. We also get to see the competitors writing Dark Duck interact with one another and have fun. It makes connections to real life events- mainly through Bernie Sanders memes, but whatever. Bernie Sanders memes are funny."

"Bernie Sanders memes are funny," says Linh, nodding seriously. "And yes. There are some romantic ships in there- like Amelia and Akki, or Shai/Lynn/Tater, but there are also close friendships, and you get to see the group bond over their shared desire to get the scholarship, and their collective love of chaos, so the more platonic aspect is definitely given screen time as well."

"Which, given how often shows center only on romance, is really great," Tam agrees.

"The show also does really incredibly with including diverse characters. Pretty much none of them are both straight and cis, and most of them are neither."

Tam grins. "Right, and no one really makes a big deal about it. They mention it when relevant, of course, and some have homophobic parents, but they have depth beyond getting the authors ally cookies or whatever. Everyone uses correct pronouns, or apologizes when they screw up, and everyone's pronouns are validated no matter how 'weird' or 'confusing' it might be."

"The show also has a lot of good religious diversity, with quite a few Jewish characters, who make sure it's very clear that they're Jewish."

"Yeah, one of the characters- Shai- starts a movement to turn all the Sophia and the Dark Duck characters Jewish as well."

"It doesn't succeed, but good job to aer for trying," Linh says, sighing sadly.

They fall silent for a little while as Tam checks their episode outline, scribbled in Linh's rather illegible handwriting. "Linh, what the fuck does this say?"

Brow furrowing, Linh asks "You can't read my handwriting?"

"No, I can't!"

She sighs. "It very clearly says 'great characters- discuss,'" she huffs.

"Yeah, no one can read your handwriting. Also, we should probably cut this out when we edit."

Linh nods. "Probably, yeah."

Tam leans in closer to the microphone and starts speaking into it again. "The competition has fifty something participants- fifty two, was it?" He looks to Linh for confirmation, who nods again. "Fifty two. But somehow, all of the characters have their own distinct personalities and stories and interests, and they're shown as complex human beings."

"Yeah, that's always been my favorite part of the show. The characters are just so interesting. Canon manages to focus on them a lot more than I would have thought possible, but it still doesn't give us all the details- since it has to balance so many people, it can't spend a long time focusing on just one- so there's a lot of room for speculation in the fandom. Some get noticeably more or less focus than others. Like, Lynn and her fiancees get kind of a lot, while I wish some of my favorite characters like Specs or Charlene got a bit more screen time. But everyone gets some, no one gets too many, and the fandom is there to fill in the gaps!"

"Yeah, and the fandom is fantastic," says Tam. "There aren't a whole lot of us, which we wish would change because the show is really great, but we're a good fandom to be in. There's not usually a lot of discourse, and there are so many talented people making content. lordofthesnuggles's theories for season two are always so detailed and logical that I lowkey suspect he writes for the show, and thehunkiestofhunkyhair makes fantastic fanart."

Snapping her fingers, Linh exclaims. "Oh, and les-biana has the best fanfictions."

Tam coughs, and mutters "Yeah, you like Biana's fanfictions."

"Oh, like you're any different with Keefe," Linh huffs.

There aren't any visuals, so no listeners of the podcast can prove Tam was blushing. "Anyway, the first- and currently only- season starts with everyone signing up for the competition, no idea what they're in for, and ended with half of them wearing sleeping masks with teal eyes painted on and the other half watching the chaos with mild amusement. It's entertaining as fuck, and very well written, so do go check it, recommend it to your friends, let Keepers of the Chaos take over the world, whatever you like."

"Thanks for listening to the Twins of the Chaos podcast, and have an amazing day!" Linh finishes, and she stops recording.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Finale Review: The Last Adventure! or So Long and Thanks for All The Ducks

Hello all you happy people. The day we’ve all simultaneously waited for and dreaded is here. The grand finale to a five year journey.. and for me an almost one year journey of covering season 3 as it came out. It was thanks to this show i’ve been able to make money doing what I love. Without it I never would’ve found my patreon Kev, and I never woul’dve had the solid focus to keep going as long as I have. And I never would’ve had all you lovely people reading my work. Thank you for that. I hope you’ll stick around even though the series is gone, I love you all. But as the sun sets on this series I have one last episode of the season, and the series to cover. I won’t be doing it in my usual recap style due to it’s sheer length and scope, but I promise you if you join me under the cut I will break down eveyrthing I can about this final adventure, it’s huge, awe inspiring twists.. and it’s heartwarming conclusion. It’s everything you could want from a finale short of a Grandma Duck Cameo, and i’ts under the cut with full spoilers. Seriously if you do not want any spoilers TURN BACK NOW. I’m opening with probably the biggest spoiler of the finale. 

I Think She’s A Clone Now You were warned. So.. Webby is Scrooge’s Clone, made by FOWL as part of a decades long scheme to find the papyrus of binding, and raised by Beakly to keep this precious child out of their sinister clutches. I have hundreds of reaction images, several for what the fuck.. none of them seem sufficient.. ALL OF THEM together like some megazord of what the fuck are not sufficient for how much this reveal caught me off guard. It caught ALL of us off guard. I’m sure even those who called it still were suprised that’s the direction it took. I think we all expected her parents died by FOWL, or her parents were FOWl with Pepper being one of them, or anything else. So naturally it took around 14 drafts, and me going the fuck to sleep as I had stayed up to watch the finale and thought I could just smoothly transition into writing the review despite there being a LOTTTTT to unpack.

Even after the recharge though this took a bit of doing... so now i’ve done it... what’d I think? Whelp....

I liked it. I like it the more I think about it. Even the problems I had with it just kinda melted away as I thought about it. I understand if you do not. This twist will not be for everyone, it changes Webby’s character and story entirely, ruins tons of fan theories, and in general is batshit even for a series that in the same finale, turned Manny into a shout out to Gargoyles, complete with Keith “My Body is Ready” David. This series is genuinely batshit and loves it, but this is a LOT to ask dramatically, a lot to rewrite expectation wise and a lot to thinka bout. There’s a reason besides sleep deprevation it took me a whlie to fully grasp how I felt. So if you don’t like it fine, but i’m going to make my best case. 

Starting with something that made me realize I fully like it: It dosen’t invalidate Webby’s charcter. The one little problem I had left was “Well dosen’t Webby having the McDuck bloodline mean she couldn’t be specail if she wasn’t a McDuck? That sure the rest of the cast are specail but you can’t be really important without it?” Honestly.. no. Webby is who she is not because she’s a McDuck.. but because she’s Webby. She got her martial arts and mystery solving skills through Beakly and being raised. She had intate talent sure.. but as we’ve seen with the boys through the whole series, talent has to be honed. Skill has to be earned and learned.  Webby worked hard to research other civilizations, worked hard to hone herself into a deadly fighting machine with her mother’s help, worked hard to be every bit as cool as her idol who turned out to be her biological dad. She earned her badassery, her wisdom and her courage SQUARE. 

And more than that she’s her own person. Her adoptive parent and biological parent are both paranoiacs afraid of betryal, unwilling to trust, and slow to let anyone in. By all accounts Webby should be the same.. but she’s not. Oh sure she has some paranoia and is willing to slit some throats, she was raised by the world’s best spy and is the daughter of the world’s greatest hero, that was never going to be gone entirely. But at her core she just wants to trust people. She just wants to love them and be loved. And.. that’s why her family loves her. Because she’s the kindest, the warmest and the best of them. They love her because she’s Webby and that’s she’s family, they could care less who she’s related to. All it really changes is how Scrooge acts around her and that gives us fans tons to work with. 

It’s also expertly revealed, which helped ease us into it. Webby is just as shocked and confused as we are and is seriously hurt, which makes her vulnerable to the villains. Kate Miccui deserves a goddamn award for voice acting and if their isn’t an award show for that their should be. While she’s been fantastic with Webby all series long this is her finest performance, going from Webby’s usual self, to all the hurt she goes through.. to her quitter moments at the end, calling Scrooge dad and giving out a little noise that makes it clear as Beakly tries to leave, that no.. she’ still her family.. she’s still her mom and she’s not going anywhere. 

As for the concept being a bit ridiculous yes it is.. but so is this universe. This universe is entirely insane in the best fucking way possible: I mean.. look at this final group shot. 

We have an old man whose somehow still alive simply because he was too busy to die, an inventor whose cloned himself multiple times so clones are fesable and is probably a clone himself given how the last finale went, an awkward armored superhero and his biotech filled girlfriend, a small boy robot weapon of discretion who put his head on his brother’s body, a no longer headless manhorse former harbinger of the apocalypse with the silky voice of keith david as one big homage to gargoyles, a lesbian living shadow and her sister, a superhero who based himself on a fictional character and his boyfriend/sidekick who by all accounts should be dead by now, a lesbian military superheroine from the moon, STORKULES COCKBLOCKER OUT OF MYTH, his moong goddes sister, two adopted family stunt pilots, a bunch of super intelligent mice, an odd duck whose kinda sorta dating a giant shrimp, his cousin with super luck powers, my globetrotting boys, an immortal treasure hunter and in the family proper: a former spy turned adopted mom of a clone, a woman who lived on the moon for a good decade, a man who once trapped everyone in what would essentially be the plot of the mcu’s second best work by pure accident, a blue boy whose piloted a plain, captained pirates, and has his own talk show, a green boy whose ran a multi-trillion dollar company, nearly destroyed all of time and space and is under investigation for fraud, and a red boy who has a hulk-esque rage filled embodiment of all his suppressed emotions, whose fondest wish was tall legs, and who can easily take out a giant magica supermachine with some fancy wiring. So the richest duck in the world having a clone daughter, while divisvie and what not.. is far more plausable than we give it credit for. As are her new sisters who Id in’t forget but are part of the whole twist. 

So yeah, I like the twist and my nitpick is more that despite having a full season to set it up.. they saved it for the last episode. Instead of BUILDING on Webby’s desire to know more about her family and having the twins show up earlier.. it’s all shove into the finale. It’s a well done shoving but there’s so much that could be explored with Webby being Scrooge’s daughter, so much that futzes with the regular family dynamics and we don't’ get any of it. Sure it was probably saved for a possible season 4 but they treated this season as the last. Manny being an apocalyptic man horse voiced by the uber sexy keith david, and no I will not stop bringing that up even outside of it’s own section and why yes it is getting it’s own section, is the kind of revelation you can leave for one last episode. “One of the main cast is a clone” really isn’t and that’s disapointing. 

Especially since thinking back to life and times.. Webby IS a lot like Scrooge was before circumstance hardened him. She’s tough, resourceful.. but also has a peppy spirit to her. It adds interesting shades to her character, where she zigs where Scrooge zags, how much of it is her upbringing with Granny versus his with his parents, how much did Beakley play into it. There’s A lot to dig into and given I have most of the series left to review, I will get to dig into it, and there’s a lot to be explored in fanfic so if I wasn’t already planning a massive one before I sure as fuck am now. So it’s not a bad twist nor bad we get to write the future.. but I do wish the crew THEMSELVES had done more with it. Still my bar for “not fucking up the entire show” is pretty low after Star Vs ended with her committing implied genocide to stop a genocide and How I Met Your Mother ended “But the real journey was in how much I want to bang, bang bangity bang I said a bang bang bangity bang your aunt robin now your mother conveniently died”. I can handle “This twist is kind of weird but also really intresting.” If the twist isn’t for you, as I said i get it. This is my opinion. Now for the thing I won’t shut up about. 

I LIVE AGAIN:

Look i’ve made no secret how thirsty I am for Keith David nor how much of a national treasure I rightly believe him to be. He’s one of my faviorite voice actors, with a mind boggling number of awesome rolls, mostly recently as a fowl mouthed coffe cup encouraging a teacher to sabotage his rival teachers breaks on close enough. Even if I didn’t like Gargoyles, which I do, i’d have an entire section talking about that Manny reveal. 

Manny was already objectively one of the best parts of the show, a hilariously weird addition that was also relatable as he just wanted to fit in. I did not know you could make him better. Then they gave him Keith David’s voice and revealed he’s one of the four horseman of the apocalypse, but doesn’t want to end the world he just wants to be a normal dude, AND turned him into a shout out to the last part of the disney afternoon they hadn’t touched, my favorite part of it and a show i’ve been sitting on watching in full for far too long. Motherfucking Gargoyles. 

But given how unique it was for the Disney Afternoon and how much Disney had no desire to ever reference or use the franchise, still no fucking clue as to why they are sitting on money here, I expected it to be sadly but understandably left out. Instead they made Manny into an expy for them, gave him the voice of their leader Goliath, the voice of an angel, and had him say “I LIVE AGAIN” complete with the utterly transcendent theme song. Seriously give it a listen. 

So yeah I couldn’t not mark out at this. Amazing fucking stuff and almost as unexpected as the clone thing and easily my second faviorite part of the fiinale only NARROWLY topped by the curtain call. Which we’ll get to. Keith David took his time getting to this series but they saved the best guest voice for last. Utter tremendous. 

Huey Season?: I”ll save more of this for my breakdown as the season as a whole but yeah while the finale as a whole was good.. I do feel Huey got short changed. He got PLENTY of development this season, and some REALLY good scenes with Bradford.. but ultimately he got overshadowed by the Webby thing. it just never quite felt like Huey got a real resolution to his character arc the way his brothers did. He still got some REALLY good moments, his “Just cough up the information Bentina!” was one of his finest and Danny Pudi did his best. The BUILDUP was good but hte payoff was non existant and easily the weakest part of an otherwise triumphant finale. I feel the final plot was ultimately just a bit too jam packed to really have Huey feel vital to it the way Dewey was to the Della arc and Louie was to his own arc. Both tgot big emotional payoffs in his finale but the most I could gather here was he accepted adventure? I guess. It just really feels off, like I missed the payoff to everything when it’s probably just nonexistent and that bothers me a lot. In a finale that was almost all hit.. this was easily the biggest misstep. I don’t have as much to say here on it.. but that’s because it’s really that simple: they gave Huey’s arc a ton of build up in this last episode and some of his others, really made him into Bradford’s good counterpart.. then just sorta.. forgot it because “oh shit Webby’s scrooge’s daughter kinda need to pull focus here”. Had they given this arc at least one more episode, we might of had time for it. Granted i’m not sure how much they could get away with but we clearly needed at least one more episode and what they chose to jettision, the climax to Huey’s story.. was way more important than they clearly thought and i’m heavily disappointed. 

Bradford’s Big Hole Speaking of payoffs the missing mysteries payoff.. is a mixed bag. I expected all of them to combine some how into some elaborate plan I just wasn’t seeing. In hindsight it does make sense that wasn’t it: Bradford hates overcomplicated schemes, so his would be incredibly simple and require as few moving parts as possible. It still dosen’t stop the fact that the big plan to cap off the entire series built over a season... was to build a giant stygian hole of non existence to throw people into. 

Yes really. Instead of using the Payprus to write them out of existance, if carefully worded or try doing it all at once or anything practical.. Bradford just plans to shove everything he dosen’t want in the world anymore into a hole.  Look i’ts not like it ruins the episode, there’s still tons of tension from him holding Scrooge’s loved ones over his hole and threating to throw them into it’s gaping void. And it’s foiled by a 12 year old just.. shutting it off. Like I get him leaving an off switch on, that’s just common sense.. but why wouldn’t he have a remote or something to turn it back on? one with a password or something to lock it. There’s something inherently underwhelming about as series ending plan that can be summed up “hope no one shuts my unguarded hole. “

The finale does make for it by using the missing mysteries all in VERY clever ways. In fact every episode in the season had some sort of payoff here. It’s what makes up for how baffling the main plan is: every other thing, from the missing mysteries to the guest stars has lead up to this one moment, this one final adventure. Which leads me too

An Hurricane of Payoffs:

So from the top Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks!: Isabella Finch herself ends up being VITAL to the story and to Bradford’s backstory, as does Junior Woodchucking as a whole. Quack Pack!: Gene is the fuel for Blot’s glove.. though he also fucks off right afterwords.. never to be seen again or help out at any point...

Double-O-Duck in You Only Crash Twice!: This was the most unexpected and elevated the episode in hindsight for me as what seemed like a waste of time.. wound up setting up the first part of the finale, and the final battle with Steelbeak, and in clever ways with Steelbeak using the intelliray on himself, Launchpad muttering the map in his sleep via his smart self and Dewey remembering the base layout. 

The Lost Harp of Mervana: Used as a lie detector for that heartbreaking interrogation scene. 

Louie’s Eleven: Introduced Daisy setting up Donald’s plot which i’ll get to. 

Astro BOYD: My baby boy comes back for this episode! He also gets one of the best lines of it “I’m a Head!”. That is the most ralph wiggum the boy has ever been. I’m so proud. 

Rumble For Ragnarok: Okay I was wrong nothing from this one comes back. Still a great episode. Same with the trickening. Both are VERY stellar episodes though, so I give it a pass. You can’t give a nod to EVERYTHING. 

The Phantom and the Sorceress: The Blot and Super Sayian God Super Sayian Lena, as well as Lena’s character development from said episode.  They Put a Moonlander on the Earth!: Launchpad helping Penny realize her purpose.  Forbidden Fountain: Jeeves is un-babied as a trap Let’s Get Dangerous!: Drake and Gosalyn Return, and Solageo’s Circut ends up being vital to the climax.. in the strangest and funnest way to say possible but still. It counts.  Escape from the Impossibin: Beakley’s near breakdown at the idea FOWL has come back. It was already heartbreaking and the first adventure had made it even more so.. but now it’s out and out DEVISTATING. The one thing after her daughter is not only back.. but SHE’S the reason he’s in Scrooge’s life and home and her giving up SHUSH has now left her wide open. 

The Split Sword: Probably the best out of all of these as it ends up directly playing into the climax in an awesome way i’m saving for Bradfords New Gods: Storkules shows up. Okay so that every episode claim bit me on the ass. Also when did these two meet? I mean probably at end of spear of selene but the more important question is WHY DID YOU ROB  ME OF THESE TWO MEETING AT ANY POINT IN THE SERIES. 

The First Adventure: Naturally the Payprus comes back as Does herons needling bradford to stop denying what he is. 

Fight For Castle McDuck: Suprisingly the blessed bagpipes ended up being VITALLY important. And giving us sexiest man alive infinity years running Keith David for an episode.  Last Christmas; Santa Cameo

Beaks in the Shell: Gandra being taken and the Lost Library being setup for this episode. 

Lost Cargo: The Stone of What Was. And Credit where its due what FELT like simply a filler episode with a tantengal connectoin.. ended up probably being one of the most important episodes. Fair play. 

Life and Crimes: Magica turning Bradford into a non sentient bird, like what happened to her brother.... proving once again this episode really REALLY needed as subplot attached to lead into the finale or something. 

Bonus Round: Pilot payoffs by the pound. Seriously Scrooge and Donald’s last lines to each other, the badass return of “I’m a Pilot”, more on that in a minute, and even other smaller call backs like “Keep Getting Up” and webby sucessfully getting some juice to Louie’s pride. All top notch stuff and it really makes the finale FEEL like one with all this coming back full circle. So i’ve hinted at it enough, let’s bring on the bad guy. 

The First Woodchuck

We’ve had some mixed payoffs so let’s get to one that’s just out and out excellent. Bradford Buzzard.. is the best villian the show ever had. Now I will give the caveat that my favorite forever and always will be

You know it, I know it. But Bradford is the best genuine threat of the series, with Marc Evan Jackson perfectly balancing his menace and genuine evil.. with his steadfast believe that he isn’t evil, and his calm, controlled business demeanor. It’s one of the best performances of the show and he deserves all the credit for it and after seeing him in supporting roles for his career, even if his role as Kevin on Brooklyn Nine-Nine is fucking awesome and I’m sad that show is ending, it’s nice to see him step into a big meaty role as the big bad and utterly nail it. 

And the finale.. pays eveyrthing off with him, apart from the plan itself perfectly. Starting off him being revealed as Isabella Finch’s grandson... was  a stroke of genius. I didn’t expect her to come back in play but it gives perfect reason both why he knew about the mysteries.. and why he’s like this. 

Like Scrooge did with his nephews, niece and daughter, Isabella dragged Bradford all around the world seeing the unseen, thinking it was fun. The problem was... Bradford HATED it. He hated every minute of it, like as one post pointed out Rusty Venture from the Venture bros, and felt he should be in school. He wanted a normal life and a normal world and not.. this waking nightmare. So to him, fixing the world, stopping this sort of thing is the only way and that doing so is a good thing. His problem is how he adapted to it.

We see that best in his mirror images, the people he’s in direct contrast with and the show knows it. Starting off with the one he’s not like at all is Scrooge. Part of what makes Bradford perfect is he’s Scrooge’s evil opposiite. The Luthor to His Superman, The Joker to his Batman, the Green Goblin to his Spider-Man, the Iron Monger to his Iron Man, the Sinestro to his Green Lantern. Both come from a long line of adventure but while Scrooge embraces that and loves it, Bradford hates it and wants to destroy it. One is energetic and always ready, the other’s calm, calculated. And one sees what he is.. and the other dosen’t. Simple as that.

But his other mirror’s are more like him, moving onto Huey. Their both woodchucks, both prefer caution and planning, and both want to make some sense of a nonsensical world. Both want to feel safe when they constnatly don’t. One’s prone to panic attack the other’s calm. But what makes Huey the better man... is that he accepts the world is the way he is. It goes all the way back to terror of the terrafirmains. While he was all for adventure he started his doubting things, not beliving things were real.. because the reality that there are some things you just can’t prepare for, just can’t know, and you can’t be always ready.. it shattered him. He nearly let himself die rather than live knowing what’s out there. Webby pulled him out of that, literally and figuratively.. and he never went back. Sure he still tries to have an order to things, still breaks when his structure’s broken.. but it’s gone from a paranoid fear of the unknown and weird to embracing it. To relishing in finding unsolved mysteries and new clues to unlock, to finding new things to explore. He went from seeing this chaotic world as something to run from, to embracing and studying it. To loving it the way it is the way his family loves him for who he is. Bradford.. denies reality belongs the way it is and wants to force it into what HIS idea of it is Superboy Prime Style. The world isn’t waht he thought it should be so he’ll MAKE it that way. Huey grew as a person.. while his arc didn’t have a full payoff.. it still pays off here by showing what he COULD’VE been. had he let his earlier fear and his always present neurosis drive him like Bradford has. Let his big brain make him think he knows what’s better for EVERYONE instead of using it to genuinely help people. Bradford lacks the boys heart and empathy and that’s why he fell. Huey had his family backing him, his best friends coming to get him, and his brothers ultimately rescue him. Bradford.. threw his only true ally down a styigan murder hole. 

Finally.. we have the one that’s not brought up directly.. but is very much there. Donald. While the two don’t interact hardly at all... it’s VERY fitting that Donald is the one Bradford picks to threaten Scrooge with. Like Bradford... Donald grew to hate adventure, he wanted to get as far away from it as possible and took it from his boys for as long as he could. Granted that was in part Bradford’s fault, and that was an INCREDIBLY clever twist: it dosen’t make him entirley responsible or anything that robs the moment of it’s imapct, Della still chose to take it out by herself, she still lied to Donald and she still got lost all by her own decision and impuslviness. But it fits perfectly into it: Bradford’s horrifying smile when Scrooge gets taken away from saving her is even WORSE now with full context, and it still fits that knowing about the project.. he’d want to set it up to screw up Scrooge’s life. I don’t think he sabotaged the rocket or anything, too obvious and something Della would’ve mentioned by now.. but he knew it was unfinished. 

Back to the parallel the diffrence is once again.. change. Donald let go of his hate of scrooge and his past and realized it wasn’t all bad. He let himself grow as a person after a decade of bitterness and anger. But most tellingly and poignantly is Quack Pack... both had a chance to make a world that was safe, normal and what they always wanted. Both out of terror of the danger of this world.  Thing is.. Donald’s was noble. He feared for his kids, his sister, his uncle.. loosing one again and any of them at all. He wanted a normal life to be safe, to hide from that.. but it’s not what THEY wanted or who they are. He accepted that’s not how the world works and how it does.. is still pretty great. And his growth shows: he’s ending the series planning to go off with his girlfriend globetrotting, KNOWING things might not be safe, but diving into adventure, having accepted it as part of him. He even finds some new family and takes in two girls who badly needed a home. He learned to accept things how they are... and Bradford refuses, not beliving in this world as it is and vowing to force it into the way he wants it to be. 

And it’s that inherent selfishness.. that makes Bradford the Cartoon Supervillian he desperatley claims he isn’t. Bradford dosen’t care how many lives it takes, how much worse it makes the world, or how many people he has to stab in the back... the world WILL be “normal”. Bradford cares for no one and nothing except his own ambition. He kills Heron despite her loyality, and his own clones who loyally served him.. simply because their chaos too. No one or nothing else matters, not how they feel, not their right to exist.. only HIS vision. If he wanted to keep the world safe he’d be more of a hero, if still throughly a bastard... but he dosen’t. He wants to make it “normal”. He wants the world the way he thinks it shoudl be and damn anyone else and perfectly represents all the old assholes like him today who refuse to accept something diffrent or against the norm because “that’s how it’s always been”.  Like those real world assholes.. Bradford is wrong. The Duckverse is beauitful how it is in it’s chaos and risk and love. And he just can’t see it because it’s not what he WANTS to see. 

And that’s why I also love the Sword giving him big, black and red classic villianous monster, slowly mutating him as he fights the duck family. Because that’s his inner strength: he may deny he’s a villian but he’s forcing his will on others, refuses to see the world as it is for selfish reasons, and is willing to kill his own friends and allies if it means getting it. He’s the bad guy. And while he denies it to those around him... it’s clear from the fact the sword is working for him that he KNOWS IT, he knows he’s a villian and this is just what he wants but is so up his own ass he can’t SAY it or admit it. And in the end he’s fully beaten by the fact that his forcing his will on everything’s what’s unnatural: While his plan was ingenious, have scrooge sign a contract agreeing never to adventure again, since he’s right Scrooge would solve nonexistance it’s the same reason “launch hulk into space” only resulted in a smarter, more skilled hulk coming back with a space army to get revenge. He just didn’t bank on the inherent rediclousness of the unvierse: family really is the greatest adventure of all.. and the papyrus accepted it. It was the one thing he coudln’t palnf or because he can’t see the woirld how it is.. and that’s why he lost. He was so confident how he saw the world and how he worked was the only way... another way beat him. 

His fate.. was also awesome and endleslly apporirate. Being mocked by the other villians who while less capable aside from Magica, at least admit what they are and what their doing.. and turned into a Vulture for Magica, left to be a mindless lackey in tons of chaotic schemes for the rest of his life. It couldn’t of happened to a nicer jackass. Okay three more sections to go. Let’s go.

Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away With Daissssyyyy

Donald’s leaving for a long, romantic adventure with Daisy is the perfect capper to Doanld’s character. Donald started the series hating adventure: blaming it for della being gone, his rough times during it, and wanted to escape it in the boat and keep from loosing his kids to it. He felt like a looser for not having reached his dreams or properly provided for his nephews, when really he did his best and still raised three wonderful kids. A bit overproective, god yes.. but despite his grief and anger he still got through ten years with them on his own merits, hard work and determination. 

As the series went he reconclied with his past, realized Scrooge lost something too and that blaming him soley when it was Della’s choice was just taking his anger out on the one person he had left to take it out on instead of embracing his only family left, accepted Storkules as his friend (JUST his friend), accepted adventure through quack pack realizing that while it may be weird, dangerous and sometimes stressful for him... it’s what his family love doing and they should be who they are instead of who he wants them to be, and finally.. accepted himself by finding Daisy, someone who loves him for who he is, and literally and metaphorically understands him and turned right back around from dumping him to save him from a giant monster she roared at. He’s finally at peace. 

And that’s why leaving. Not forever, He , Daisy, and his girls will be back in a few months or even a month. It’s very clear this is a vacation.. but it’s one  he’s earned.  He’ll always love his boys, his surrogate daughter/cousin, his sister, and his best buddy launchpad. But it’s okay for him to want to form his OWN family, to spend time with his future wife and show her the world. To make his own story for once instead of sharing it. To find his voice. 

I also find it very poetic that a story that started with Donald raising his nephews like their dad.. ends with him adopting two more children. Two kids whose lives had been misrable: rapidly aged in tubes, deemed failures, constantly bellittled by the closest things they have for parents, so desperate for answers they’d kidnap their own sister and betray her trust and do things they know are wrong, And all this.. for nothing as their  Dad kills their mom, bad as she was, and plans to kill them. And Donald’s first thought when given the chance to have a kid free time to himself, with no guilt having earned it? To take these girls in, start his own family, if Daisy’s cool with it mind he thankfully clearly called to talk this over first, and give them their own. Because that’s who Donald is, a good man whose finally earned his happy ending and the life he always wanted.. and accepted who he always was. An adventuerer, a loving fiance.. and  dad. 

The Real Hero: One last one before the bonus round and a quick one. The Launchpad Scene.. was one of the shows best. His arc in this episode of thinking he’s not a hero.. made sense. He’s been plenty heroic.. but his boyfriend is a martial arts and gymnastics savant and one of his three best friends has a giant suit of armor and is a genius. But the payoff made even more: He may not be the strongest, the most skilled or the smartest.. but he has the heart of a hero. He’s always been the kindest, most trusting, most friendly one of the main family, a guy who never gives up, even when he should, never surrenders and loves everybody. And that’s why he’s inspired so many people: Fenton to not give up after his firing and keep going, leading to his path as Gizmoduck. When Drake was lost, his fllm gone and his mentor seemingly dead (In fact skulking around the sewers like an evil ninja turtle), and his future unclear... TOLD HIM he could be Darkwing, that he could become the hero they both ihdolized and the inspiration to kids he wanted to be by his own bootstraps, and he gave Gosalyn faith in darkwing and hope at at time she had none. He also gave those mice their freedom. Not as poignant but you try creating the rescue rangers and see how far you get. I’ve lost a lot of chipmunks and mice that way. 

Launchpad’s last stand makes up for his lack of being in the season during the final  half. Launchpad realizing that despite his quirks he’s just as noble, valuable and wonderful as his families, both of them. And that he is a pilot. Sure he gets the gizmoduck armor.. but the armor isn’t what makes hi ma hero... i’ts being launchpad that makes him a hero. Loving adopted dad, wonderful partner, best friend... and a pilot

Bonus Round:

Okay this is just stray stuff from throughout the episode I didn’t have several paragraphs worth of material on before we get to the final thoughts. But it had so much good I can’t not talk about it. So...

Gyro calling Little Bulb BOYD’s brother. My heart wept. So sweet. As was him fixing his son at the end. BOYD has the two loving families he deserves.. and the brother he deserves.. and the brother he dosen’t deserve who will probably also is skulking around the sewers like an nafarious ninja turtle as the series ends. 

Gosalyn fixing up Darkwing’s outfit for him. Awwww. Adopt that child you coward. Also if they don’t base the reboot on frank’s work here, I will riot. 

“Just cough up the information Bentina!” that was just pure comedy gold especially the sheer fear radiating off him. Also right. 

Manny’s “I can explain” and , once he has silky smooth keith david voice going “Come on man I just want to live my life.” That man is a legend. 

Dewey and Louie just not talking the “you kids stay behind shit” pointing out both their stake in this and how they’ll just go anyway and him proudly accepting it. Given the kids turned the tied of things a lot, good call. 

Dewey and Don Karnage singing their own background music as they air joust. Hell yes. 

Pepper got a promotion! Goodf or her... it’s meaningless now but hey she has a partner in both senses. 

Speaking of pepper she had the best line of the episode “He’s a grown man who has the strength of a baby!”. Only Amy Sedaris could’ve given that delivery just the perfect way she did. 

The Funzo’s opening sequence was dynamite, from how well set up it was as an infilfration, to Webby having learned how to scam free drinks (Louie was so proud), to Lena cheating for her sister at DDR, to Scrooge paying full price.. it was wonderful> The payoff was also great as rather than be mad her special day was used as part of an elabroate spy operation.. she’s giddy. Because of course she is. Two specitic  bits that get their own items

The Cabs came back one last time! It dosen’t effect my now finished retrospective, but after spending all that time with them it was nice to see them for what will probably be the last time for some time. 

The whole scene where Della finds out about the trip. Just all of it. Her casually and accidentally choking daisy TWICE, Fethry, who sadly did not get an episode this season, being the one to blab about it and only realizing it .. after repeating that they told him not to, and Gladstone who not only was casually winning at Skeeball while his cousins both got pissed at it, relateable as hell, but then awkwardly escorting his baby cousin out of the situation. 

“Satstically with Hubert gone one of us should be pancking but WHO I ASK YOU WHO?” As if I needed more evidence they were perfect for each other. 

Lena just.. slumping over after Dewey finally has her drop the cloak. Comedy gold. BOYD scanning her later likewise so. 

The second best line and line read of the episode goes to Louie/Bobby Monihan. “That is not comforting, I do not want to die”. He couldn’t of summed up Louie in one line any better. 

Ludvwig was a national treasure.  Not only did I squeel internally when it turned out he was alive but the explination for it was hilarious as it was batshit, and him just causally revealing Webby’s origin was fucking amazing “Ill give you all a moment ot process” The acomplanying “bless me bagpipes” was also amazing. 

I do wish we found out where FOWL went but it was probably to leave the remains all free to come back as villians of the week. Frank outright said they had a tailspin sequel episode ready to go.

The Webby and June fight was a masterpiece and I REALLY need to do a top 12 fights list someday. 

Lena connecting with the new twins , having pretty much the same background of being created by a villian for shitty reasons. 

“one is silver and the other is “ “Flintheart glomgold!” they should consider a teamup. What’s a little brainwashing between friends?

“We’re sisters’. No you and violet are sisters, Webby is your girlfriend your both just in denial. I only say this because Webby also thinks Della and Penny are just friends and I feel she simply dosen’t know what being gay is or again is in denial. They’ll get there. Plus it feels like Lena just didn’t want to loose her and would say anything which is valid. 

Curtain Call and Final Thoughts:

The Curtain Call was the perfect way to end a spectacular finale. Each bit of it’s a masterpiece, and every character gets one last awesome, heartfelt and hilarous goodbye with the camera and ending how it should: on our five most important characters, in a circle, together, smiling, freefaling into the next adventure. I”d have it no other way and any other series finale credits and last moments will now pale in comparison. 

So the finale as a whole is messy, some bits aren’t resolved as good as they could’ve been, Huey go the shaft, and it REALLY needed another episode leading into it to help take the pressure off. While it needed 90 minutes for the plot it had to tell, it needed more to build up to that and while the season was tight with episodes they BADLY needed one more they didn’t get or even a subplto to help take the load off this episode. 

But even with that... it was an utterly awesome finale on par with other recent standouts like “Let’s Fight to the End”/ “Thank you For Watching the Show” (Both feel like finales to me but in diffrent ways), “The Future” and the whole arc leading up to it, both parts of “Heart” and “Nice While It Lasted” . It was heartstopping, heartrending and heartfelt and ended the show as it should be: with over the top insanity, big reveals, a hell of a final battle.. and a focus on family. It’s not the perfect finale, and I defintely need more ducktales.. but it’s still a classic one and one of the series finest hours.. literally in this case. 

I.. am going to miss this series. I went into it before but it’s thanks to this series I make a living. If you’d like to contribute to that, I have a patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, my next stretch goal is a darkwing duck epsiode a month so  kick in a buck won’t you? and take comissions so if theres an episode from the first two seasons that’s not part of the season 1 arc (I’m almost done there) or Lena’s story (already being paid for that) feel free to shoot me a line to comissoin it for five bucks an episode. 

But more than that it was an excellent well crafted show that took a franchise I love and updated it for a new generation. My nieces love it, I love it, and I will always love it for that. Young or old, this show as phenominal, it was stupdendous.. it was a duckblur. It will remain in my heart for probaly the rest of my life among such shows as Steven Universe, Parks and Recreation, The Venture Bros, Letterkenny, DBZ Abriged, and so many more that have touched my life. It was simply the best. And i’m going to miss it. Thank you for reading this, i’ll see you at another rainbow, if not one quite like this.

Next on this Blog: Duck week continues after this review took two days to complete. Sorry about that. Our heroes head to castle McDuck and Dewey is forced to face the consequences of his actions, while Scrooge yells at his dad , his dad yells at him and his mom is the most precious thing tha’ts ever lived. Also Launchpad in Donald Cosplay. And it won’t stop there as till saturday the rest of the week is all dedicated to Ducktales as I finish up the Della and Lena arcs for season 1 and get started on Lena’s last three episodes. So if you liked some ducktales, stick around. And once again.. thank you. 

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[freakynct]

can i request a bad boy!yuta with a corruption kink? also your writing is fantastic, keep up the good work!! 💘

thank you bb ♡ sorry for taking so long to answer!

you were roaming around in the school's library, trying to look for an important book for your research. your essay was only due in two weeks but you knew you had to start doing it now if you wanted to have the best grade in class, as you always had. you took and put back a lot of books trying to find the best one until you pulled out a specific book, jumping and almost screaming when you were met with yuta's face on the other side of the shelf, staring at you with an evident smirk on his lips. you rolled your eyes and put the book back, covering his face. yuta was the typical bad boy at your college, always getting in trouble, his grades were low, always skipping classes and of course, sleeping around with every girl he layed eyes on. you didn't know why but since he started taking the same korean literature class as you he hadn't stop bugging you, always teasing you about doing good at school and being a goody two shoes. was that even a bad thing? he even started sitting next to you in class, probably to cheat during tests, you thought.

"how did i know i was gonna find you here?" you heard yuta's voice coming from the end of the corridor and you didn't even waste your time looking at him.

"what do you want?" you asked coldly, staring at the words on the opened book you had on your hands, pretending to read.

"why are you always so nice to other people but so cold to me?" you could see him getting closer  from the corner of your eyes and your body tensed up when he stopped next to you, leaning against the shelf. you shrugged your shoulders without saying anything because in reality you didn't really know why. maybe it was because you felt intimidated by him. maybe it was because you felt tingles in your stomach when he was close to you. he chuckled and you dared to look up at him for the first time since the conversation began. "are you scared of me? i'm not gonna hurt you, baby." he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and you weren't even capable of moving, too shocked with the pet name he used, your cheeks blushing and as soon as you came to your senses you took a step back.

"what do you want?" you repeated the same question you had asked in the beginning and he stepped closer to you but you kept moving backwards until your back was pressed against the back wall of the corridor, his body so close to yours that you could smell his cologne mixed with the smell of cigarettes.

"isn't it obvious what i want?" you could see him staring at your lips and then back at your eyes and you grabbed the book closer to your chest. "i always wondered if such a good girl like you ever has, you know, desires." a small smirk formed on the corner of his lips, his thumb caressing your chin, while his hand kept it in place, not letting you look anywhere else but his eyes.

"yuta, stop." your voice was so weak and shaky that you felt embarrassed. you would never admit how much you liked his touch, how much you craved for his attention and especially how many times you found yourself thinking about yuta fucking you right there in your classroom desk. no other guy had ever made you think this way and have such dirty thoughts but there was something about yuta that lure you to him. 

your thoughts were interrupted by his touch, his fingers running up your bare thigh and when he reached under your skirt you holded his wrist, stopping him, lowering your head with embarrassment. "are you gonna tell me you don't want this, baby? you think i don't see you staring at me in class when you think i'm distracted? or looking at the rings on my fingers? i know you're not such a good little girl like you want everyone to think."

"yes i am. i don't know what you're talking about." a little bit of courage rushed through you and you snapped at him, lifting your head to look at him but your cheeks betrayed you and he could clearly see how flustered you were.

"oh yeah?" he asked in a sultry voice, his lips getting closer to your neck, leaving a small kiss in your skin, causing your body to shiver, both of his hands resting on the wall beside your body to hold himself up. "so you're gonna stop me when i do this." he sucked on the sensitive spot in your neck and your hands grabbed his biceps firmly, trying to hold in a whimper. "or this." his lips moved higher and stopped at your jaw, leaving an open mouthed kiss there, your eyes looking around over his shoulder at the corridor.

"yuta, someone can see. we're in the library." you whispered and he lifted his head to look into your eyes and you noticed how dark his were.

"are you going to stop me?" he raised an eyebrow at you and when you didn't answer him he just connected his lips to yours, engulfing you in a deep and intense kiss, his hands coming down to your waist, pressing you even closer to him and that's when you felt his growing bulge against you, causing you to let go of your first whimper. his hands made their way to your thighs, getting inside your skirt and caressing you over your panties and you buried you face on the crook of his neck, trying to muffle your moans.

you never thought in a million years that you would be fooling around with yuta in the school's library let alone having him touch you so intimately, but you didn't want him to stop. in fact you wanted more and you didn't know if you should be ashamed of that or not but you just decided to put your thoughts aside and do something bad for once. "you're so wet already." he broke the kiss to bury his face on your neck, kissing and sucking at the skin. "have you been thinking about this, baby? did you think about my fingers on your pussy before, hm?" he pulled your panties aside and his fingers started circling your clit causing you to throw your head back, closing your eyes and biting really hard on your bottom lip but letting a little whimper escape your lips. "a good little girl with such a dirty little mind." he chuckled and eased one of his fingers inside you, sliding easily in and out of you from how wet you were.

your nails digged into his shoulders and your eyes widened when you heard someone on the other side of the book shelf. you tried squirming away from his touch but he only grabbed you tighter, holding you in place and inserting another finger inside you, making you quickly cover your mouth with your hand, muffling that moan you wanted to let out. "be quiet, baby. or you want other people to see what a little slut you really are? dripping all over my hand." he whispered next to your ear, his fingers thrusting deeper and faster inside you, making the strong feeling in your stomach grow, your legs almost giving up if it wasn't for yuta's arm holding you up.

"i c-can't. y-yuta." you could barely form any words as your walls clenched around his fingers.

"don't be shy, baby. cum on my fingers." your back arched against his hand, whimpering and gasping softly as your orgasm washed over you, your body shaking at the intense feeling while yuta kept thrusting his fingers inside you, helping you ride out your orgasm. once you calmed down, your eyes met his, your hair messy and your cheeks burning red and you watched as he brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking around them, cleaning them from your juices. "so sweet." he smirked and you quickly fixed your panties and skirt, running your hands through your hair to try to make yourself presentable again. you grabbed your book from the floor and walked pass yuta but you felt his hands grabbing your hips and pulling your back against his chest. "see you in class, princess." he whispered against your ear before letting you get away, your legs almost too weak to walk.

[justcallmefox89]

Truth or Dare Part 4

The birthday sleep over has completely fallen apart, Mammon and Levi are at each other’s throats, Arianthi backslides into old thoughts and dangerous habits, and Diavolo offers her comfort.  

Some good old fashioned angst and NSFW content:  Language, blowjob, penetrative sex, face riding, unprotected sex.  

Remember everyone, consent is key.  Being open and honest with your partner and making sure you’re both on the same page is the sexiest thing you can do for one another.  Also - practice safe sex mmmkay? :)

TW: body image and self esteem issues, eating disorders.

Written from the perspective of my female character Arianthi. 

I’m adding a different mood playlist to each installment of this series, just songs that I listened to while writing and feel embody each part of the story. 

Foxy Shazam - Count Me Out

Callum Scott - Dancing on My Own

Meg Myers - Desire

Hozier - Movement

Jess Benko - A Soulmate Who Wasn’t Meant to Be 

“Arianthi!  Arianthi!  Open the damn door!”  Mammon pounds on the door to Arianthi’s room, unable to open it.

“Screaming at her to open the door after you’ve just insulted her on her birthday probably isn’t the best way to get her to let you in Mammon,” Lucifer says coldly.

“I doubt she’d let you in anyway, scumbag,” Satan adds, an angry growl in his voice. 

Mammon opens his mouth to snap back, then closes it, unable to come up with a retort.

“Stupid Mammon can’t even defend himself this time,” Asmo mocks.  “You just blew whatever shot you had with Arianthi straight to hell.”

Mammon looks at the floor, ashamed.  “I didn’t mean it.  She’s got to know I didn’t mean it, I was just so.....”

“Jealous?  Stupid?  Idiotic?  Pick a description because they all fit.  Newsflash, even a shut in otaku like me knows like you can’t treat the girl you supposedly care about like shit and then expect her to still like you.”  Levi glares at Mammon and then tries the doorknob again, agitated.  

The door still doesn’t open and he can’t hear any movement inside her room.

Beel looks around worriedly.  “She never locks her door.  Ever.  She always leaves it open so I can go in and get the snacks she keeps for me.  And Luke said she might be sick.”

Belphie shares his concern.  “Do you think we should have Beel break the door in?  In case she’s too sick to answer and needs help?”

For the first time since Lilith, Lucifer looks to be at a loss.  Concern for Arianthi and the urge to comfort her battles with his desire to protect her privacy.

Diavolo steps forward to pass a hand over the door and sighs.  “It wouldn’t matter if he did.  She’s warded the door against us.”

The brothers share a look of surprise.

Mammon is the first to recover his voice.  “Where would she even learn ward magic?  And why would she start using it now?”

“I taught her.”  The demons turn to look at Solomon, who has walked up behind them.  “And as to why she’s using it, I’d venture to guess that Mammon’s little attempt to shatter her self-confidence worked, and she doesn’t want to see any of you right now.”

Mammon flushes with shame.  “I didn’t mean any of it,” he mutters.

“Then you shouldn’t have said it.”  For the first time a sharp tone enters Solomon’s voice. 

“Take down the ward,” Lucifer orders him.

Solomon moves to stand in front of Arianthi’s door.  “No.”

Lucifer’s eyes gleam red, anger rising.  “You may be a powerful sorcerer Solomon, but I am one of the seven lords of the Devildom and I will rip your heart out of your chest without hesitation.  Open.  The.  Door.”

“No.”

Lucifer lunges forward, already shifting to his demon form.  

Diavolo stops him with a strong hand on his shoulder.  “I know you’re all worried, but maybe Solomon is right.  Maybe we should respect her privacy.  She’s put up the wards for a reason.”

Levi pushes forward and knocks softly on the door.  “Arianthi?  It’s me.  Can I come in?”

Silence.

“Please Arianthi?”

The demons and Solomon all hear movement behind the closed door and Arianthi’s voice whispering.  There’s a soft click and the door opens.  Arianthi’s hair has been pulled back into a messy ponytail, her make up removed.  A t-shirt that is clearly Beel’s hangs to her knees, over it she wears one of Levi’s hoodies, and a pair of Belphie’s sweats peek out beneath the over sized shirts.  She’s obviously been crying.

Something sharp and painful twists in Mammon’s chest.  I did this.  I made my human cry.  I was stupid and jealous and I fucked up. I need to make this right.  He moves quickly towards the open door, attempting to push past Levi.

“Arianthi, I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean -”

Arianthi holds up a hand to cut him off.  “Just Levi.”  Her voice is soft and hoarse.  

Levi slips past Mammon and into the room.  Arianthi shuts the door behind him and whispers the incantation to once again ward the door. 

------------------------------------------------------------

Levi follows me and we both take a seat on my bed, leaning up against the headboard, shoulders touching.

“Luke said he heard you being sick.”

I sigh heavily.  

I don’t want to talk about this now.  Never talking about it would be ideal.  Forgetting this whole shit show of a night would be fantastic.  

“I was sick.  Then I took a shower and brushed my teeth.  I’m fine now.

“Did you make yourself sick on purpose?”  Levi asks softly.

I turn to face him, getting my first proper look at his face and his emerging black eye.  

“Levi!  What happened to your face?”  I reach out to touch his cheek, worried.

He gently grabs my hand and pulls it down, folding it between his two large ones.  “Don’t change the subject.”

The urge to cry comes on again, hard and fast.  “I’m sorry Levi,” I whisper.

He sighs.  “I’m not mad at you.  I just........I wish you wouldn’t feel like that’s something you have to start doing again.”

“I’m sorry,” I say again.  “It just....it’s hard.  I haven’t felt that way in a long time but then......... I just felt this panic and I thought if I could get rid of the food then I would feel better.  And if I start doing it again then I can be more like what he wants.......I could be pretty.  I could be so much more than this. I could be good enough for him.”   I gesture at my body, the tears flowing freely now.

Levi thunks his head back against the headboard of the bed in frustration.  He turns me to face him, his thumbs brushing my tears from my cheeks.  

“Hey we’ve talked about this.  Remember what you told me when Mammon was selling that picture of me?  And I was so embarrassed because I didn’t want anyone seeing that much of my body?  You told me I was perfect how I was.  I didn’t have to look like Beel or Mammon to be attractive. Fuck everyone who thought differently.  You loved me.  My brothers loved me in their own weirdly deranged ways.  You said I didn’t have to change to be like anyone else to be worthy of love and the things that made me different from my brothers were what made me sexy. And then you got Mammon to delete the picture and give me all the Grimm he made from it.”

Levi grins at me. “I think you’re the only person who has ever been able to get Mammon to willingly hand over Grimm.”

I choke back a sob.  “I remember.”

“Ok, well I’m telling you the same thing now.  Don’t go back to that.  Don’t hate yourself, don’t make yourself sick to try to control things, to change things about yourself to make someone else care about you.”  Levi gives me a little shake.

“That’s easy for you to say.  I’m just a human.  Is there some stupid rule here that all demons must be skinny and mind blowingly attractive?”  

Levi looks at me for a moment then laughs.  I join in, giggling through my tears.

“I mean what I’m saying,” Levi says as he wipes away the rest of my tears.  “We all care about you, exactly how you are.  If you start to feel like you can’t handle this and need help we can talk to Diavolo.  He can send you back to the human realm to get help from the doctors there.  I’m sure he’d let you come back after.”

I bite my lip anxiously then nod.  “I’ll tell you if I can’t get a handle on it.  If I can’t, or you think I’m slipping you can tell Diavolo.”

“Pinky promise?”

I smile, linking my pinky with his.  “Pinky promise.”

Levi sighs in relief.  “Good.  Feel a little better?” 

“Yeah.  Yeah, I think so,” I answer, leaning my shoulder against his.  “Hey Levi?”

“Mmm?”

"Thank you.”

He smiles at me.  “Anything for my Henry.”   

“Could you do me a favor?  Could you tell Diavolo I want to talk to him real quick?  I want to apologize for everything that happened tonight.”

“Yeah, sure.”

I stand up and reach over to my nightstand.  I hand Levi a jumble of things; a toothbrush, a D.D.D. charger, some t-shirts, a pair of sunglasses, a white dress shirt. 

 “Can you give these back to Mammon when you go back out there?  Please?”

Levi nods and we walk to the door together.  I take down the ward and he slips through the open door.

------------------------------------------------------------

“She wants to talk to Diavolo,” Levi tells the crowd assembled outside Arianthi’s door.  “She’s upset but she’s not sick anymore.”

A wave of shock ripples through the rest of the brothers.  Diavolo nods and quickly enters the bedroom.

“She really doesn’t want to see any of us?”  Asmo asks, hurt.

Levi looks at the ground, trying to avoid the upset gazes of his brothers.  “It’s nothing personal Asmo.  She’s just got some stuff going on right now.  Really personal stuff.  She can’t talk about it with anyone else.  She might though.  Soon.  Just don’t be mad at her for it, please?”

Asmo nods, still obviously distressed.

“Well, now that I know she’s not sick I’m going to gather up Luke and Simeon and we’ll take our leave,” Solomon says, shooting Mammon one last dirty look before he turns and walks down the hall. 

The demons all give him a half-hearted wave goodbye. 

Levi remembers the things that Arianthi gave him and quickly shoves them into Mammon’s arms.  “Here’s all your stuff that was in Arianthi’s room.  She doesn’t want it in there anymore.”

Mammon looks down at this things in horror.  There’s a stinging sensation in his eyes, and he suddenly can’t breathe.  He bites down on his lip hard enough to draw blood, and quickly walks to his room without a word to his brothers.   

“This is really bad.”  Beel looks around at the remaining brothers.  “We have to fix this.”  

Satan sighs softly.  “This might be something we can’t fix Beel.”

“Satan’s right.  Ultimately this is going to be between Arianthi and Mammon,” Lucifer says. “The best thing we can do is to let Arianthi know we still care about her and want her in the House of Lamentation.”

He sighs. “Let’s all go to bed.  There’s nothing else to do here tonight.  I’m sure if Diavolo thinks anything is wrong he’ll let us know before he leaves.”

The brothers all exchange worried glances before they disperse to their bedrooms.

------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey.”  Diavolo gives me a small smile as he enters my room.

“Hey.”  I return the smile and pat my bed.  “You can come sit with me if you want.”

“Do you want to put the wards back up?”

I shake my head. “No, just close the door please.”

“Are you feeling better?”  The mattress dips under Diavolo’s weight, causing me to slide closer to him.

“Yeah, just a bad moment.”

“I’m sorry Mammon said those things about you.”  Diavolo reaches out to take my hand.  I involuntarily flinch at the touch of his fingers and he jerks his hand back.  “I’m sorry, I overstepped.”

I quickly grab his hand, lacing my fingers with his.  “It’s ok Diavolo.  I’m just feeling a little off right now.”

“Are you sure?”  He looks at me with concern.  “I don’t want to make your night worse with my attention if you don’t want it.”

I press a soft kiss to his knuckles.  “I’m sure.”

A faint blush stains Diavolo’s cheeks.  “And you promise you’re feeling better?”

I grin.  He’s absolutely adorable.  

“Promise.  I have some things I need to work on, but right now I am feeling better.” 

He squeezes my hand.  “Good.”  He pauses for a moment, looking as if he’s trying to gather his thoughts, before he turns and looks earnestly into my eyes.  

“Arianthi....... I want you to know that I don’t agree with any of the things Mammon said.  And I hope that you don’t let his outburst taint your opinions of other demons...... or of me.  I meant what I said earlier tonight, about wanting to get to know you more.  I don’t want to push you, because I know that you have feelings for Mammon, but I do hope you’re still open to giving me a chance.  And I think our encounter earlier this evening proved that I’m more than slightly attracted to you, just as you are.”

His last sentence comes out in a rushed whisper, and he’s blushing heavily.

“I wouldn’t let something like that change my opinion of you Diavolo,” I respond truthfully.  “There are some feelings regarding Mammon that I need to sort through.  I really don’t know how all those are going to shake out.  I do like you, I enjoy our time together, and I think I made it obvious earlier that I’m attracted to you too.  I meant what I said earlier about getting to know you.  I’m open to see what could happen between us.”

He smiles and places a soft kiss on the inside of my wrist.  “I’m a very patient demon.  I’ll follow your lead.  Whatever you want, no pressure at all.” 

He pushes himself up from my bed.  “I should be going.  You need your rest.”  He leans down and kisses my forehead.  “Good night Arianthi.”

I reach up and stroke his cheek.  “Diavolo?’

“Hmmm?”

“Stay with me tonight?”  This might be a bad idea, but I really just want him close to me right now.  Someone who’s open about how he feels me.  Someone strong and handsome who can distract me from this fucked up night.  

I just want some comfort.  Some cuddles.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Right?

He hesitates a moment, shock and pleasure warring across his face.  “Are you sure?”

I bite my lip, hesitating a moment before holding my arms out to him.  “Cuddle me?”

“Your wish is my command, birthday girl.”  He grins at me, bending down to give a tight hug.

I stand up to feel more of him, nuzzling my head against his chest.  “Thank you.”

He rests his chin on my head.  “Anything for you,” he whispers.  

We stand that way for a minute, swaying slightly.  I feel safe in Diavolo’s arms, like nothing can ever hurt me.  

A demon, the Prince of the Devildom no less, is the one who makes me feel safer than I ever have before.  I internally roll my eyes and huff a small laugh against Diavolo’s chest. 

“Diavolo?”

“Mmm?”

“This is really nice, but can we get into bed?  I’m exhausted.”  I playfully slump against him to prove my point.

He effortlessly holds me up and chuckles.  “Yeah, we can do that.  Let me send a message to Barbatos really quickly to let him know he’s free to go home.” 

He reaches for his D.D.D. to tap out a quick message.

I pull away to shuck off my hoodie and sweats.  I look up to find Diavolo staring at me, eyes wide.  I look down at myself, wondering what the problem is. 

Beel’s t-shirt is all the way down to my knees, I’m wearing underwear.  I’m all covered up. What’s wrong?   Panic starts all over again. He hates what he sees. This is a mistake. He knows he made a mistake.

“Everything ok?”  I ask anxiously.

“Uh huh.  Yep.  All good here,” Diavolo says, swallowing nervously.

“Ok.”  I smile at him, and slide between the sheets, sinking into my mattress.  Diavolo moves to lay beside me, still fully clothed.  

I look up at him, confused.  “You’re not sleeping in your clothes are you?”

Diavolo’s ears turn red.  “I was considering it.”

I stare at him.  “Diavolo, we’re both adults here.  You can sleep in your boxers.  We’ll be ok.  If anything happens beyond cuddles it will only be because we both want it.  But neither one of us are going to sleep comfortably if you’re still wearing all your clothes.”

He lets out a nervous breath then grins down at me.  “You’re right, you’re right.”

He peels off his jacket and shirt, and I stare as his hands move to his belt buckle and he pushes down his pants.  

Holy. Fucking. Fuck.  Temptation has entered the chat.  

I thought Beel was a gorgeous specimen, but Diavolo surpasses even him.  Every inch is heavily muscled, perfectly defined. Smooth skin that I want to run my hands over. 

I want to climb this man like a tree and never come down.  Bad Arianthi.  Bad.  Quench your thirst. 

Diavolo slides under the sheets next to me and we roll onto our sides to face each other.  

He reaches out to hold one of my hands.  “I really am sorry your birthday ended on such a sour note.”

I squeeze his hand.  “It’s not your fault.  I’m sorry you had to see all that. Besides, it’s not all bad.  We’re here, getting to spend time together.”

He gives me a soft smile, and his hand moves up to gently stroke my arm.  “That’s true.”

I tense in automatic response to his touch.  He’s going to feel how fat my arms are.  He’s going to hate what he feels.

Diavolo’s hand stills immediately.  “Is this ok?”

I suck in a deep breath and nod, relaxing a little, waiting for the rational part of my brain to take over.  

He’s seen my arms before.  He already know what they look like.  He wouldn’t be here, touching me, spending time with me, if he didn’t want to.  

He resumes his gentle stroking, but remains silent.  He seems to be considering what he wants to say.

I place a hand on his bare chest and he shivers under my touch.  “Diavolo I can hear your wheels turning from here.  What’s on your mind?”

He smirks at me.  “I always forget how perceptive you are.”  He pauses for a minute, choosing his words carefully.  “I know that you have some issues with your body.”

I tense up again. 

His hand moves away from my arm, stroking the curve of my waist down to my hip.  Up and down.  His soft touch gradually helps me relax. 

 “I’m not going to push you to talk about it now.  But I hope someday you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about what you’re feeling.  Until then I have no problem telling you how gorgeous I find you.  How perfect your body is to me.  I’ll tell you every day.  Every hour.  Every minute, if that’s what it takes.”

I lay my head on his chest trying to hide my tears.  Happy tears this time.  After a couple minutes I regain my composure and look back up at him.  Warm golden eyes meet mine, and he smiles down at me.

I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back more tears and give him a small smile.  “Thanks.  You know, you’re going against every single demon stereotype right now.”

He pulls me to him, holding me tight.  He chuckles, and it rumbles deep in his chest.  “Maybe so.  But as long as I’m making you happy that’s all that matters.” 

He pulls back to stare down at me intently.  “I just ask that when you do struggle with things like that you talk to me.  I might not always be able to make things better, or even understand, but I want you to always be honest about your feelings with me.”

“I can do that.  But only if you promise to do the same thing.”  I press a soft kiss to his cheek.

“I promise.”  He moves to kiss my cheek in return, but I turn my head at the last minute, catching his lips with my own.

This kiss is soft, chaste, but he still gives a pleased gasp and tightens his grip on me.

He pulls away suddenly and looks down at me with concern.  “I want to kiss you. Really kiss you.”

“Then kiss me.”  I tilt my head up, ready for more.  

Diavolo frowns and bites his lip.  “You’ve had a rough night, and you’re upset.  I don’t want to take things further, if you’re not......”  He exhales sharply.  “I don’t want to take advantage of you if you’re not in a good head space right now.”

Mind.  Blown.  

Once again, a demon is being more considerate than the majority of humans I’ve dated.  He deserves to have the same consideration from me. 

“I promise you Diavolo, you won’t be taking advantage of me.  I want this.  I want you.  But if you don’t feel comfortable then I won’t push it and we’ll just cuddle and talk.  Or you can leave if you don’t feel ok about that anymore.  I won’t be mad.  I want you to be comfortable too.”

“I am more than comfortable with this as long as you are.”  Diavolo moves in to kiss me again but I press a finger to his lips, stopping him.  

“I just want to make sure that I’m being totally transparent with you.  I like you, and I do want you.  I still want to keep getting to know you.  But whatever happens between us tonight I can’t make you any promises that it will lead to anything permanent.  If you don’t feel ok doing anything more physical than kissing without a being in a relationship, then I totally understand.”  I hold my breath, waiting for his response.

He stays silent for a bit, mulling over what I’ve told him.  “I appreciate your honesty.  We’ve already decided that we want to keep learning about each other and spending more time together.  Sex won’t change what I want, and I won’t ever push you for more than you’re comfortable with.  Physically or emotionally.”

Whew.  “Same page then?”

“Same page.  Can I please kiss you now?” 

I giggle and nod, and he surges forward, pressing his lips against mine.  I sigh into the kiss, pleasure lighting up every nerve ending.  Diavolo licks along my lower lip.  

“Open your mouth,” he growls.

I instantly obey and brush my tongue against his.  He pulls me tight against him, his tongue soft against mine, expertly teasing me, gentle and exploring.  I wriggle against him, desperate for more contact.  He grips my hips and rolls onto his back, pulling me on top of him, his mouth never breaking contact with mine.

His hands tug at the hem of my shirt, asking permission.  I move up to my knees and pull it over my head, tossing it carelessly onto the floor.  

“Fuck.”  

Diavolo pulls me further up his body and turns his attention to my breasts.  He draws one nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and flicking it with his tongue.  His hand moves up to cup my other breast, gently stroking and squeezing, before his large fingers start pinching and tugging my nipple, bringing it to a stiff peak.  He cups me again, his large palm overstimulating my already sensitive breast.

I card my hands through his hair, tugging slightly and giving a small moan.  Diavolo releases my nipple from his mouth with a small pop! and gives me a wicked grin.  His hands stroke down my back and move to squeeze my ass.  He mouths my neck, teeth nipping against the tender skin.  

“Mmmmm.  So quiet.  Clearly I need to do better.  I need you moaning my name.  Telling me how good I make you feel.  Don’t hold back beautiful.  Let me hear you,” he murmurs.

He sucks hard on a particularly sensitive spot on my neck, then soothes it with a soft swipe of his tongue.

“Diavolo!”  I shudder against him and he takes the opportunity to lavish more attention on my breasts, kissing and licking, making me squirm above him.

“Mmmm, that’s more like it.”  His deep voice sends pleasant vibrations against my skin as he continues to use his mouth on me. 

I pull back and look down at him.  He’s flushed, breathing quickly, his eyes heavy lidded with desire.  “My turn.”

I lightly kiss his lips, moving down his neck slowly.  I press sensuous kisses to his chest, licking one of his nipples while I gently scrape the other with my fingernail.  

“Yes,” he hisses between clenched teeth, arching beneath me.

I grin against his chest, slowly moving down his body.  I scrape my teeth along his abs and give him a soft bite.  One large hand moves down to softly tangle in my hair.  I stop my kisses at the waistband of his boxers.  His erection strains against the fabric, but I’m not going any further without his express permission.

I look up at him through my lashes and give a small tug on his boxers.  “Are you ok with this?”

His hand tightens in my hair.  “Don’t you dare stop now.”

“Perfect.” 

I give his stomach one last kiss and palm him through thin fabric.  His hips arch up and he ruts against my hand, the front of his boxers already wet with pre-cum. 

I pull his boxers down, slowly freeing his erection.  He lifts his hips, speeding the process along.  I quickly toss away his discarded boxers, and reach out to stroke him.  

He’s huge.  

I suddenly have doubts about how he’s going to fit in my.......well anything really.  Then Diavolo moans my name and everything else disappears.

I continue to stroke him, relishing the velvet feel of his skin against my hand.  I lower my head to give him kitten licks, slowly swiping my tongue against the head of his cock and his slit, lapping up his pre-cum. 

“Fuck.”  Diavolo fists his hands into my hair.  “More.  Please.”

It’s a heady feeling, having the prince of the Devildom beneath me and begging for my mouth.  I wrap my lips around the head of his cock and begin sucking, continuing to stroke his shaft, my hand moving in rhythm with my mouth. 

Diavolo tries to keep his hips still, but he can’t help thrusting up into my mouth, greedy for more contact.  I gag, my eyes tearing up, but I continue on, his pleasure the only thing on my mind.  I eventually remove my hand, my mouth bobbing up and down on his cock.  It’s a messy, sloppy blow job, but from his groans of pleasure I don’t think he minds. 

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop,” Diavolo breathes, those words somewhere between a plea and a prayer. 

I reach between his legs to cup his balls, my mouth still wrapped around his thick cock.  His hips buck, his back arching off the bed, and I can feel the muscles in his thighs tighten.  He tugs on my hair, pulling me off of him, and I release his cock reluctantly.

“Something wrong?” I ask with a grin, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth.

“If you keep doing that I’m going to cum.”  Diavolo’s chest is heaving and he grips my wrists tightly.

I arch an eyebrow at him.  “And that’s bad because.......?”

He growls and yanks me up his body.  “Because I need to taste you.  Now.  And when I cum I’m going to cum inside you.  I want to see your face when I mark you as mine for the first time.”

He keeps pulling me up until my thighs are resting on either side of his head.  He presses a kiss to my inner thigh.  “Hold on to the headboard.”

“Wha-? Oh god!”  I lose my train of thought as Diavolo gives a sharp bite to the inside of my thigh.  He turns his head and brushes kisses along the other.

He brings a finger up and slowly circles my clit.  

“So pretty,” he mumbles.  “And so wet.  Just for me.”  

He lazily swipes his finger through my folds, up and down, before returning to press on my clit.

I grip the headboard, panting.  “Diavolo..... no teasing.”

He presses one finger into me, stretching me. He strokes slowly, giving me time to adjust to his size.

I whimper and attempt to move my hips.  One large hand grabs my thigh, holding me still.  Diavolo adds a second finger, stroking in and out, working me into a frenzy.

My grip on the headboard tightens.  “Your mouth, use your mouth.  Please,” I beg.

Diavolo continues his maddeningly slow pace, pressing his thumb against my clit for further stimulation.  

“I can’t hear you princess.  Be a little louder for me.  Use your words.”  He blows a breath of cool air against my heated core and I shiver, tightening around his fingers.

“Diavolo please!  I need your mouth on me.  Please!”  I’m no longer worried about keeping quiet.  The whole House of Lamentation could hear me for all I care.  My one need is to feel Diavolo’s mouth on my pussy.  NOW.

He laughs and gives my thigh one last kiss.  “Good girl.”  He slowly and deliberately swipes his tongue against my clit. 

“Fuck!” 

He removes his fingers and presses an open mouth kiss against me, his tongue stroking through my folds.  “You taste even better than I imagined you would.

My hips buck.  “More,” I mewl helplessly.

Diavolo’s hands grab my hips roughly and he plunges his tongue inside me.  I scream, overwhelmed by the sensation.  He keeps a firm grip on me, never allowing me to move away.  He begins using his hands to guide my hips in an up and down rhythm, his tongue thrusting in and out.

He’s making me fuck his face.

Everything begins to fade around me.  Nothing matters but the sensation of Diavolo’s tongue between my thighs.

“Diavolo..........Diavolo I’m going to cum.  I’m going to cum.”  I’m a whimpering mess, unable to do anything but hold tight to the headboard and let pleasure sweep me away. 

He removes his mouth from me long enough to say, “Then cum for me Arianthi.  I need you on my tongue.”  

His presses a finger against my clit, circling it roughly while he resumes fucking me with his tongue.  Tension gathers in my core, tighter and tighter until it finally snaps.

“Diavolo!”  I scream, shuddering against him.  My vision flashes white as my orgasm takes over.  He continues to stroke and lick me through my release, lapping up everything I give him.

I’m trembling when he eases me off of him and lays me back on the mattress.  He rolls over on top of me, grinning and looking pleased with himself.

He brings his mouth to mine and gives me a deep kiss.  I can taste myself on his tongue, and I moan into the kiss, greedy for more of whatever he wants to give me.  

“Good?” he whispers against my lips.

“Try amazing,” I whisper back, lacing my hands behind his neck and bringing him down for another kiss. 

He breaks the kiss and laughs, moving to settle his hips between my thighs.  He reaches between us to stroke his cock a few times, using the head to tease my already overstimulated clit.

He looks up and meets my eyes.  “Is this ok?  Do you still want this?”

I nod and tilt my hips up to meet his.  “I want this.”

He slowly pushes the head of his cock into my pussy.  I tense slightly and he stops.

He’s so big.  How is he this big?  Are all demons this big?  Goddamn Diavolo you could split a girl in half.

Diavolo presses a soft kiss to my lips.  “Relax baby.  I won’t hurt you. I’ll be so gentle with you.”

My body melts into his, soothed by his sweet words.  He continues pressing into me, inch by excruciatingly pleasurable inch.

“You’re so beautiful Arianthi. And so wet for me.  Such a tight fit baby.  Like you were made just for me. Fuuuuuuuuck...... I love the way you feel.”  Diavolo murmurs against my neck, kissing and nuzzling me between endearments.  

He lets out a beautifully obscene moan once he’s fully sheathed, and gives me time to adjust to his size.  I’m panting, already overwhelmed by the feel of him.

“Are you ok if I move?”

“Fuck yes,” I whisper, rocking my hips against his.

He pulls out, only to thrust back in slowly, drawing out every ounce of pleasure he can.  I throw my head back against my pillows and close my eyes, reveling in sensations.  His cock inside me, his lips on my neck, the feel of his hair between my fingers, the weight of his body pressing me down into the mattress.

Diavolo continues to slowly thrust, building our mutual ecstasy. I feel his mouth against my ear.  

“Look at me,” he orders, nipping at my earlobe.

I gasp and focus my eyes on his face.

“I want your eyes on me princess.”  He snaps his hips against mine, increasing his pace.  “I want you looking at me when you cum, knowing it’s me that made you feel this way.  I don’t want you thinking about Mammon.  I want all your attention on me and how good I make you feel.”

“Yes,” I whimper, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“What’s that baby?”  Diavolo thrusts into me hard, leaving me gasping for breath.

“Only you Diavolo.  Only you,”  I cry out.

He gives me a feral grin.  “Good girl.”

He deepens his thrusts, grinding against me every time our hips meet.  He holds himself up on one forearm, bringing his other hand between us, fingers sliding down my stomach to rub against my clit.

I scream his name, fingertips digging into his shoulders.  I’m coming undone, quickly.  Diavolo feels me tensing beneath him and kisses me, tongue entering my mouth and mimicking the movements of his cock.

I break away, gasping for air.  “Diavolo I’m going to -”

“Me too.”  He’s breathless, chasing his own orgasm.  He rests his forehead against mine.  “Please look at me.  I need to see you.”

I open my eyes and he looks down at me, eyes glazed with lust.  His hips stutter and his thrusts become sloppy.  He pushes into me one last time, and I feel the warmth of his release as he cums, moaning my name.  The sensation of his cock twitching inside me sends me over the edge, and I bury my face into his neck as my pussy clenches around his cock. 

We’re both breathing hard when I pull back to look at him, and he leans down to repeatedly press soft kisses to my lips.  He stays inside me as we kiss and hold each other for a few minutes, reluctant to separate. 

“Are you ok?”  Diavolo whispers, nose nuzzling my cheek.

“That was ........ I can’t....wow....you’re amazing,” I answer, giggling as his nose tickles me.  “Are you ok?”

“I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this happy.”  He smiles down at me, giving me one last kiss before he pulls out and stretches out beside me. He curls into the position of big spoon and pulls me tight against his chest, one arm wrapping around me protectively.  

He kisses the back of my neck, and pulls the blankets over us.  “I think we’ve earned a little rest.”  

I nestle back into the warmth of his chest and relax, listening as Diavolo’s breathing becomes slow and even.  I close my eyes, settling into the comfort of his body against mine when a sudden noise makes my eyes fly open.

I scan my bedroom before my gaze settles on my door, cracked open, light from the hallway spilling into my room.  My eyes fly up and land on the pale face staring at me from the doorway.

Oh, fuck. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mammon wanders the hallways of the House of Lamentation, miserable over the way things had happened at Arianthi’s party.  He can’t sleep, sick to his stomach that he had let his jealousy and pride hurt the person that he cared about the most.

I gotta find a way to make this up to her, to show her I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean it.  It was so stupid.  All I need is a chance to apologize and I’ll promise to never do it again. I just need to get her to listen to me for five minutes so I can give her the birthday present I got her and tell her how I really feel.

A cry catches his attention and he follows the sound to investigate.  He ends up in front of Arianthi’s door.  It’s barely cracked open and he can hear whimpers coming from inside her room.  Worried that she may be sick again he softly pushes the door open a little wider.  What he sees makes vomit rise in his throat and tears spill down his cheeks. 

Diavolo is on top of Arianthi, thrusting his cock into her slowly and whispering things Mammon can’t hear.  What he can hear is Arianthi moaning in pleasure as she writhes beneath Diavolo, bucking her hips up to meet his every thrust.  He watches in horror as they cry out in pleasure together, then gently kiss and whisper to each other as they come down from their shared high. 

What did I do?  Did I fuck up this badly?  Or has this been going on right under my nose the whole time?  No, no, Arianthi’s not like that.  I did this.  I pushed her away every time she started to get close. This happened because I fucked up.  I didn’t treat her right, I didn’t let her know I cared.  This is on me.

Mammon roughly wipes the tears from his cheeks as he watches Diavolo wrap himself around Arianthi and they settle in to sleep.  He can hear Arianthi’s sigh of contentment as she cuddles back into Diavolo.

He stares at them a moment longer, something deep and ugly taking root in his chest.  Rage, jealousy, pain, love, and regret war inside him, each begging to be released.  

That should be me. She’s MY human. MY girl. I’m her FIRST man. That should be ME.

Mammon’s breath catches as Arianthi’s eyes snap open and focus on him.  He looks at the person he loves above all others, tears falling openly down his face, as she gazes back at him in shock from the comfort of another demon’s arms. 

[eleanorbloom]

Insomnia (Bryce Lahela x F!MC)

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F! MC (Eleanor Bloom)

Warnings: N.S.F.W. Cursing.

Prompt: Day 7. Booty Call | Sex Toys | Nipple Play (Sorrry I’m late!!!!)

A/N: Hello! Welcome to my second fic for Kinktober!  It’s a lot more simplier than the first, because I had a lot of breakdowns writing it, probably because all the smut I have written between them has been kinda passionate,  and here they are just horny 😂 but I decided to post it anyway. 

I hope you enjoy it!

  Insomnia.

Eleanor woke up like she had slept ten hours, but it was too dark to be time to get up. She grabbed her phone from her nightstand and checked the time. 01.27 am. She sighed in frustration as she had four more hours to sleep. She locked the screen and closed her eyes trying to get back to sleep.

Five minutes after tossing and turning, she took her phone again and opened Pictragram. After a few minutes scrolling, she saw Bryce had liked a photo of a mutual account that was uploaded just a few minutes ago, so she went straight to his chat and typed:

Ellie 🌻: “Hey, why you up so late? 👀”

Bryce L. 👨🏽⚕️: “Back at you”

Ellie 🌻: “Can’t sleep. You?”

Bryce L. 👨🏽⚕️: “I have the best cure for sleep deprivation.”

Ellie 🌻: “Oh, yeah?”

Bryce L. 👨🏽⚕️: “Magic hands🤟🏽”

Ellie 🌻: “Where are you?”

Bryce L. 👨🏽⚕️: “At home”

Ellie 🌻: “Can I come over? 😏”      

Bryce L. 👨🏽⚕️: “I was hoping you would say that 🤭”

Ellie 🌻: “I’ll be in twenty.”

She replied before getting up from her bed and take a quick shower.

Once she was back in her room, she took the bag with the lingerie she had shopped that afternoon on her trip to the mall with Sienna. She looked at the three lacey lingerie sets, trying to choose a color: navy blue, emerald green, and garnet red. She discarded the first one because she wasn’t really feeling the blue vibes that night, and the last one because even if she was already excited about meeting up with Bryce, that wasn’t an occasion to wear red, so she took the emerald lacey lingerie and put it on.

She looked at the mirror really pleased with herself. The color looked fantastic in her bronze skin, and it made her realize what was the perfect dress to complement her sexy attire for the night. A long blue floral wrap dress with a slit in the middle of her right thigh. It exposed the lacey in her cleavage the right amount and fitted so perfectly around her body, that it made her waist look thinner than it was.

Once all dressed up, she applied a bit of makeup, just red lipstick, and mascara, and then she requested a uber, which arrived in a few minutes.

Ellie 🌻: “On my way 👄”—She texted him from the car.

Bryce L. 👨🏽⚕️: “Finally 🥵”

After a ten-minute ride, she knocked on the door of his apartment with the anticipation about to come out of her mouth. She had been stressed for days since Dr. Ramsey had elected her as the number one in the competition for the Junior Fellow position, and a good bang was the only thing that could ease her from the frustration she had been feeling since that day. 

“Hey”—Bryce greeted as he opened the door, grinning broadly at the very sight of her. He was wearing a blue and pink Hawaiian shirt and dark blue jeans. —"I didn’t see you today”

“I had 24 hours shift yesterday”—She replied getting inside.

“Oh, that explains a lot.”

“You missed me?”—She murmured in a sultry voice, leaning close to see him directly in his amber eyes.

“Maybe”

Eleanor discarded her purse on the entry table at one side of the door.

“You were hoping you would find me scrolling at this time of the night, mmh?”

“Were you?”

“Maybe”

Bryce looked down her body. She was wearing a black leather jacket and under that, the reason his bulge grew painfully under his pants, making him groan.

“Hot damn.”  

Eleanor, completely aroused by the way he was inspecting her body, kissed him hard and wet. He pulled the jacket out in response, tossing it on the floor, and embraced her by the small of her back, his warm hands roaming over the fabric of her dress.

Her perfume intoxicated him all of a sudden. The musk, vanilla, and popcorn reached him like a hurricane of sensations that forced him to go down her neck and chest and obtain every bit of her smell and drink every inch of her sweetened skin, like a craving man.

“You smell so good, Elle”—He sighed.

Then, Eleanor took his hand and brought it to the tie of her dress, inviting him to undo it.

Bryce gave her an intense look, gulping at the very thought of what he would find under the fabric of her dress. She smirked, raising a brow at his hesitation… or contemplation? After a few moments, he pulled the tie down and the fabric slowly began to slide to each side of her body, exposing the emerald lingerie.

“Holy shit” —He breathed, chewing his lower lip as he roamed his eyes over the lacey and sating lingerie perfectly framing the curves of her waist, hips, and thighs.

“Like what you see?”

Bryce slid his hands over her shoulders, throwing her dress to the floor, leaving her body now only adorned with her lacey underwear.

“Like is an understatement.”

“Smooth”

“I am not always?”

His soft hands traveled over her generous cleavage, and then he placed them over her breast, cupping them perfectly, earning a shiver and a whimper from her mouth.

“If this is my reward for every day I don’t have the chance to see you…”—She stopped him mid-sentence kissing him again and pushing him toward the wall, a sharp sigh coming out of his throat. He looked down at her unbuttoning his shirt, exposing his taut muscles with every button undone until she tugged it down to the floor, impatiently.

The moment his skin was exposed, she brought her lips to his collarbone, and went down to his chest, massaging his pecs with both hands and kissing him all over his skin. The firmness of his muscles turned her on even more, imagining his arms picking her up, her legs around his waist, his bulge pressing her core, his hands touching every sensitive spot of her body just as she liked.

Her folds were growing swollen between her legs, sensing how close she was to feel him inside of her again. His hands roamed her back until he reached her bum, taking it with both hands before sliding both under her underwear, now gripping it tightly.

 Eleanor in the meantime started unfastening his pants, and Bryce growled against her mouth when she sank her hand under his boxers, and stroke his throbbing dick waiting for some kind of relief.

He slid his hand up, unclasping her bra, bending down to suck her nipples. Eleanor breathed heavily at the pleasant sensation of his soft hands and his hot breath against her sensitive skin, making her moan when his tongue started to lick her hard nipples.

After a few moments, she pulled his silky brown hair to make him face her. Bryce looked at her agape and confused, her lips plumped and wet.

“Fuck me. Fuck me now”—She demanded, almost out of breath.

“Fuck, yes, of course”

Eleanor took a step closer to the entry table, opened her purse, and grabbed a condom out of a box, and handed it to Bryce.

He received the condom and opened the wrapper instantly, while she was pulling out her panties. Once completely naked, she leaned against the table, lifting her butt so Bryce could take her from behind.

She felt his pulsing cock between her butt cheeks, and his hand gripping her hips. Then, one hand roamed towards her folds, checking how lubed she was before entering her.

“Holy shit, you’re almost dripping down there”

“That’s for you.”—She sighed—"Now, please.”

“Of course”

Bryce pushed himself against her in one swift and precise movement, stealing a yelp from her. He moved slowly at first, feeling her folds enveloping him, breathing in when he was entering, breathing out when he pulled out of her until he began to take speed gradually.

“More”—She sighed.

Bryce obeyed and started to move against her at a quick speed, the flesh colliding, his hands gripping in ass firmly.

“Yes… Come on.”

“You want harder?”

“Please”—She begged in a tiny voice, and she felt how Bryce buried his finger on her skin, almost pinching it as his thrusts reached a senseless speed.

Eleanor cried out the moment he picked up the speed she desired.

“Shit, Elle, you feel so fucking good”

“Fuck yes, keep it going, Bryce.”

Bryce focused on trying to delay his orgasm, but it was difficult with the speed and how much he loved hearing Eleanor crying out his name.

He took her by the shoulder and pressed her body to his, still rocking against her, but at a slow pace. His arms encircled her body, touching her breast with one hand, and fingering her clit the other.

“Oh god, fuck”

“You like it?”

“Please don’t stop”—Her begging whimper drove him crazy.

“Okay”

His fingers picked up speed until he heard her squealing in his ear as she arched her back against him, leaning the nape of her neck on his shoulder. Her legs were trembling and her moans erratic. Without waiting, he pushed her against the table, this time to thrust her until reaching his peak of pleasure and her second. Their bodies crashing invaded the room with obscene echoes, denoting the impossible pace he had picked up. Eleanor was out of breath, her raspy voice barely a groaning, her pleasure losing in her throat.

“You’re fucking amazing, yes. —She whispered until she found the last drop of energy to cry out the moment she reached her second climax.

Bryce kept moving until he let himself release, cumming inside her with a deep groan.

“Fuck, Eleanor!”

He leaned over her warm and sweaty back, while Eleanor was completely motionless over the table, gasping for air. After a few moments, he took her hand and drew her to the couch, where both laid with legs intertwined, her head resting over his chest, and Bryce wrapping her with her strong arms.

Even if the orgasm had killed a great part of her tension, the feeling of his warmth and skin against her seemed to do the rest. 

“How’s that insomnia?”

“Worse, I can’t go to sleep if I know I can be fucked again the same way.”

“Or better.”

“Better would mean not be able to walk tomorrow, and I’m not sure if I want that. Besides, you would mess with me for a week for that.”

“No way, a month, at least. And it wouldn’t be because I wanna mess with you, but because I want you to remember how good I did you tonight. Can you blame me?"

"Not at all. And you, ready to go to sleep?”

"Hell no, I didn't make you come over here just for one round."

“Good, because I know exactly what I want for the second round.”    

____

Taglist:  @romewritingshop @utterlyinevitable @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @kiteplayschoices @lahamseiroshoe @lucas-koh @fuseboxmusebox @princesslahela @mckenzie-bae @choicesficwriterscreations @lucy-268 @interobanginyourmom​

Let me know if oyu wanna be added or removed from my Kinktober taglist!

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Alright, and I am back with another update! But first, some stuff a friend noticed in the first few pages and mentioned to me that I didn’t take in when I went over them on my own the first time:

The park they’re in as kids is pretty close to the apartment complex Izuku and his mom live in! Considering that said apartment complex is right there in the background. Which probably isn’t a huge thing, but a neat thing to note.

The age these kids manifest their quirks at seems to be more preteen / teenage years, though I don’t know whether that’s just because it is later activation or because there were (subtle) quirks before that, with the glowing baby just being the one that had people sit up and realize something was actually going on.

Endeavor ad! And it has the time of that event that day, too - 8:14 AM! I wonder what he’s advertising… or perhaps it’s a news report? An interview of some kind? It might just be a ‘breaking news, we got Endeavor on our channel’ sort of thing. The only part that I can read is the first three katakana for the biggest text, which is ‘E-n-de’ and matches the wiki’s katakana for ‘Endeavor’. If anyone can get a good enough look at the smaller text in order to tell me what the rest says, I would appreciate it!

Just a few things, but obviously I need to up my observation game if I want to catch all this stuff!

[No. 1 - Midoriya Izuku: Origin]

So now we’re at Aldera / Orudera Junior High, with Izuku’s class being in their last year before high school. Since Japan’s schools start on the second week of April, we know this has to be that first week of school, because Katsuki’s still 14 and his birthday is April 20th, which would almost always be the third week of April / second week of school. 

What is that writing stance. You are going to have an old man’s back by the time you graduate high school. I mean, I wouldn’t know anything about that personally, cough cough…

Anyways! We get a look at Izuku’s class and their quirks, and what a collection. Also, with an attitude like that, no wonder this school is seen as bad, like, what the fuck dude. Not exactly a competent homeroom teacher, are you?

The ones that I can see, from leftmost row to rightmost row, are [1] floating hair, stretchy fingers, dark matter, [2] smokey arms, spike fists, stretchy eyes, frog throat, some sort of flash/illumination quirk, [3] rocky body, ???, stretchy neck, flamethrower arms, extra arms, [4] sharp hair, big chompers, wedge face, [quirkless], mouth face (seen in the next panel and holy FUCK new sleep paralysis demon), [5] horns, telekinesis, [explosion], buff bod, ???, [6] wind control, ???

WHY.

But yeah, this also establishes the first rule of ‘don’t use quirks in school’ thing that… also gets promptly ignored the several other times we see stuff set in this school. Which, what a shock, people sort of sliding around inconvenient rules.

Anyways, Katsuki has proven that he hasn’t changed since those first few childhood panels way back (checks) ten pages ago. And Izuku is being… very shy and trying to avoid drawing attention. But no shaking, particularly, just… wallflower mode, more like.

But yeah, Katsuki is not exactly on great terms with the rest of the class, who are rightfully pissed off at him treating them rudely and calling them extras. Though honestly, I’m surprised that they’re surprised he’s aiming for UA, it’s not like he wouldn’t have been obvious about that for, like, years at this point. You’d think they’d all roll their eyes and be like ‘yeah yeah we’ve heard this spiel before’ or something. IDK.

Oh man, and Izuku already KNOWS what’s coming, look at how he’s hiding his face!

Katsuki is, of course, Fucking Extra and hops on his desk, and gets right into bragging, where, AGAIN, this should have been stuff this class has known about for ages, why are they so shocked?? And huh, interesting, he’s not only interested in surpassing All Might, but also in being one of the richest people in the world. Wow, I cannot even with him, especially knowing he lives in this house in particular:

Which, it should be clear, is an EXPENSIVE lifestyle when most families live in modest apartments because of space being so valuable in Japan. 

God this is a fantastic image. I wanna frame it on a wall somewhere. Hori managed to convey all the emotions in one face and I admire the man for it. 

With the whole class laughing, there’s a thing I want to note that fandom seems to not pay attention to: they note that Izuku gets good grades! I’ve seen fics that basically have him forced to sabotage his own grades to avoid getting backlash, but like… no, I don’t think that’s actually a thing. 

[Also an aside, we finally see one more class quirk, which seems to be some sort of bulked up arm? It looks a bit like mummy bandages, as far as I can tell.]

Izuku gets into defending himself, saying there’s no precedent, but he IS defending himself against them, so again, he’s not cowering as much as some people seem to think he does based on fics, and clearly he’s still willing to stand up for himself to some degree. 

...then of course, Katsuki blows up Izuku’s desk and sends Izuku sprawling. And is pissed that Izuku apparently thinks he, who is quirkless, can somehow be on the same level as Katsuki. Izuku swears up and down that it’s not about Katsuki, that he just really wants to try, and this somehow pisses Katsuki off even more. 

I want you all to remember this image - save it on your computers, bookmark this post, whatever you need to do. We’ll come back to it in, oh (checks watch) about 284 chapters. Or maybe sooner in a separate post where I can put it under read more and avoid spoiling people more than this does. Because DAMN can I gush on this moment.

Anyways, we have a change of scene, right after noon, with a thief with a sludge transformation and,,,,,,,, legs and pants,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Where the fuck did those pants go, sir. Sir. What the fuck, sir.

Also, we get our first meeting with the OG dad, the sunflower man himself, who blooms into 255 kilos of muscle in one panel. Also, man I forgot about the fucking giraffe neck Hori used to draw him with, holy heck, why are you so l o n g.

L O N G.

...right, anyways, back to the school, which is apparently over for the day. The rest of the class is heading out, and Izuku’s back to his chipper self, even humming a happy note as he grabs his notebook-

Before Katsuki nabs it from his hands. There are a few people who’ve hung back who notice the title and pick fun at izuku, so I guess Izuku actually… doesn’t talk about his desire to be a hero that much in middle school, if the others are all so surprised about it. He apparently doesn’t even make his notebooks obvious to them, since this is the first time any of them seem to be seeing it. Which I mean, it makes sense if the class will tease him for it, but like. Even with Katsuki stealing the book, Izuku’s not super panicked or having a nervous breakdown.

But yeah, Katsuki just blasts the book, but! It’s just the cover singed (and edges) when we know he could have demolished that book entirely. Again, he’s definitely being a bully and a jerk here, but he’s got way more self-control than fandom likes to assume. 

Izuku’s upset because of his damaged notebook, and Katsuki just huffs and throws it out the window while saying he’s gonna be the only kid from Aldera to go to UA. And Izuku, EVEN WHILE STRESSING, thinks of him as vain for thinking that way! That’s not the first thought of someone too terrified to do anything.

Edit: As pointed out to me in [this post], it was Katsuki’s crony who was thinking of him as vain, not Izuku. My bad!

Also note the lack of damage to Izuku’s school uniform. I know I’ve seen fics where there’s a hole made and a burn scar left that Izuku has to tend to, but Katsuki, again, has not directly used his quirk against Izuku. We’ve never seen it, just the smoke and flash used for intimidation. I’m getting more and more confident that Katsuki has never actually used his quirk against a person, which I’m probably gonna get a bit more into during the battle training in a few chapters.

But yeah, the cronies / extras basically call Izuku lame and that he can’t face reality. And then we get this scene:

That’s not the face of someone afraid. That’s Izuku’s determined face.

Izuku is about to stand up to Katsuki again. The way he always has, the way he always will. There has never been a point in the series where Izuku has NOT stood up to Katsuki when he feels it matters, and that’s part of the reason Katsuki is so pissed with him every time he does - because Izuku REFUSES to see his place! Not once!

(Please, for the love of god, respect the Izuku who didn’t need a quirk to stand up to others. Who isn’t ‘broken’ or ‘terrified’ of Katsuki or anything like that. He’s a stubborn kid and we Stan That.)

Izuku, however, is not confident enough in this situation to want to press the issue, so he relents and says nothing when Katsuki prods him to escalate things. And then we immediately get to the ‘you idiot, don’t fucking suicide bait!’ but you can tell it’s been a stressful few moments for him. 

So yeah, the summary of this section is ‘Izuku is not an uwu suffering babey, and Katsuki is way more restrained than people seem to think.’ 

I’m cutting it off here since, again, we got a lot of info and character examination, and honestly this whole chapter is a long ass one (55 pages!!!!) and it’s establishing the entire setting from the ground up. And honestly, I’m just vibing in being Right about how I’ve been viewing the characters at the start of the series… even if i am guilty of sometimes playing with fanon for my own means…

Still, this is fun! Hopefully y’all are having fun too!

[serifsans]

Vladimir’s bulk is warm and comfortable in a way nothing else is. It’d probably be downright luxurious to curl up on his lap in his true form but if there’s anything Jean-Paul hates, it’s letting their boyfriend (boyfriend, he calls him, as if either of them aren’t anything but too damn old, as if they don’t think of him as their husband, even if they dare not say it lest that change something and ruin everything.) see them when they aren’t wearing human form. It’s embarrassing, like being caught wearing bell-bottoms before they cycle back into fashion. They’ll let Vladimir see them now when they’re skulking around wearing ratty bathrobes so old they’re now antiques but JP draws the line as letting him see that silly pink dog.

(Also, they figure that if the regulators ever decide to mind-wipe him, it’s probably better if he has less memories of an obviously alien form. Maybe it won’t completely fry his brain then. JP’s terrified of that. Of course, JP also knows that if they ever came for him, Vladimir’s taking as many regulators as possible with him before they could even get to his head. They’re terrified of that just as much.)

They see each other so infrequently anyway that there’s no point wasting it looking like anything but a dream: that is, if your idea of a dream is undersized, middle-aged, and dressed entirely in designer brands. Vladimir’s is, which is part of the reason they like him so much. Their volph form is not a dream. It’s silly and little and adorable when it’s not glitching and lagging. JP will take adorable but the silly part, no.

Jean-Paul has his shop and his commissions and a whole part of his life he doesn’t want to drag Vladimir into any more than he already has. Vladimir’s got his work and his family and a whole part of his life he doesn’t want to drag Jean-Paul (or Polly Jean or whatever other name they cycle though) into any more than he already has. They both have businesses that keep them very busy and also side-pieces that also keep them very busy, mostly because neither of them really like to address their emotions and mostly deal with them by throwing themselves at whatever distraction they can find. Always, always, there’s the looming threat that this cannot last, that it’ll end poorly, that they should just end this, but whenever they break up, they can’t stay apart too long until the fear comes for one of them again.

Anyway, the point? Jean-Paul’s living like a fucking king over there because he gets to wallow all over this man. Anyone who doesn’t get to cuddle him is missing out on one of the finer joys of life.

“Paulie, my sweet one, maybe you would like it more if you moved a little, yeah? Just a little. I love you as I love no other, you are my starshine, my heart, but your ass, it’s bony. My legs can only take so much. I am sorry, my love.”

Oh, okay, the man he loves is just cruelly abandoning him like a complete and utter monster. That’s how it is. Being JP is so hard. They make a big show of looking extremely sad as they scoot off his lap and curl up against his side instead, sighing extremely, extremely over-dramatically. Vladimir pets his hair and gives him a little kiss to make up for kicking him off of his lap. JP sighs even more sadly and when that doesn’t elicit the desired response, sighs even louder so Vladimir kisses him again.

Their ass isn’t that bony.

“I guess I might find it within my heart to forgive you for this cruel and utterly cutting insult,” they say. “But only because I am an extremely kind person. The best. I’m completely saintly, darling. That’s the truth of it.”

Vladimir chuckles, a low rumble.

“They will write poems to your kindness and generosity. They will not say that you called what’s-her-name horrible things for hours only because she did not say hello to you while walking down the street. I still think she did not see you. If she knew what you said, she would never talk to you agains even if she did see you.”

JP huffs.

“First of all, it was not for hours. Second of all, I was only being truthful. Third of all, she did it on purpose; don’t argue otherwise. Fourthly, she can snub me all she wants, I really do not give a fuck, the joke’s on her, I made out with her dear old dad in the 70s and he liked it, so hah. I hope no one shows up at her fucking garden party. I hope she gets kicked out of the country club. I hope she buys a pony and it doesn’t love her.”

“Okay, Paulie, you tart,” says Vladimir, laughter still in his voice. “You were very busy in the 70s. You must have never rested.”

“You know it.”

Maybe being kicked off Vladimir’s lap isn’t so bad. It means they can nestle up against him and rest their head on his stomach. He likes to run his fingers through their hair, especially since they decided to start wearing it long in this body. Anyone else doing it makes him feel like anxious lapdog with no control over who does and doesn’t pet him (or pull his tail or mess with his ears or poke him) but Vladimir does it and he feels like a person instead. He closes his eyes and though he never naps, JP really feels so comfortable right now he could doze off. Bears are fantastic. The world needs more of them. Actually, it needs more of them and it needs this one to last forever.

“Mm, completely unrelated to exploits of the past, but I made an account on a website. Thought you should know. Transparency. Communication. That sort of thing. It’s fun.”

God, they’re comfy. This is amazing. Their life really is so blessed. Thank you, universe.

“Paulie,” his boyfriend says with gentle exasperation in his voice. “You join these websites, you find someone that maybe you do not like, you say things that you know to be hurtful, the websites say that you cannot go to them anymore. You can’t keep doing this. There is a reason that I run the boutique’s social media and you, you, my heart, are allowed nowhere near. You are very spiteful and very rude. I know this and I love you.”

JP really can’t argue against this one because they’re running out of websites to be banned from. Even still, they roll their eyes and huff because how dare Vladimir call them out like this.

“Ugh, fine, I’ll behave. I’m really trying to be nicer, you know. It’s all so goddamn weird that I wouldn’t even understand how to insult these people if I tried, anyway. I don’t fucking get memes, darling. It’s all a bunch of bullshit people pretend is funny. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I am sorry you do not understand the Internet. It is a strange place. I will send you Russian memes instead and then maybe you will understand,” Vladimir says. “If you do not like the site, then maybe consider not being on it.”

“I didn’t say that. I just said that it doesn’t make sense. Darling, you know I really do think people should cater to my exact sense of taste at all times but even though they don’t, I still very graciously put up with it,” JP says. “It’s a website for fellow space fans. They’re all bound to be weird."

Vladimir’s hand in his hair stills.

“I do not need to know the details of what you say on your websites, I think maybe I do not even need to know what they are called, but be mindful of what you post. You do not know who could be reading. Do not mention me on it ever, please.  Be careful.”

The ever-present anxiety starts making itself known. It’s not that Vladimir himself makes them anxious because he’s a giant softie underneath the leather and gruff exterior and the fact that he will commit murder in an instant if it means protecting his loved ones. It’s just that sometimes JP very suddenly remembers how much they absolutely have to protect him at all costs and what it will be like to lose him if they can’t devise a way to keep him around forever.

“I’m sorry, Vladimir. I should’ve said something before I made an account. I’ll delete it. I just...you told me I can’t keep running away from others like me. Well, I can’t deal with them in real life. I just can’t. It’s just a website, I didn’t think things through, I don’t want to compromise your safety, I can-”

“Ah, ah, no, I am sorry, I think maybe I said things too harshly, do not worry, my darling. I trust you. Please, maybe it will be a good thing for you and then you will understand their memes. I only want you to be happy and safe. Just be careful, okay? And do not start fights with people.”

JP whines and buries their face against him.

“I really can delete it. I, I don’t always think things through. I wasn’t made for thinking.”

Vladimir decides the best course of action is to pull them back into his lap in hopes it’ll calm the anxious volph, except JP can’t even properly enjoy it because their brain (if they even have a brain because they honestly do not know.) goes from zero to one hundred in half a second and now they’re thinking about everything bad that could possibly happen because they joined a website for aliens.

“Hey, it’s okay, okay? Have fun on your alien dating site. Maybe you will sleep with a Nessie and it will change your life. Do not worry about me. Just be careful with yourself, okay? You do not protect that person enough.”

That’s enough for JP to momentarily break through the anxiety.

“It’s a blogging website, not a hookup website."

“Okay.”

...

“Paulie? Is the Loch Ness Monster real? Do you know her?”

“Darling, you know I never kiss and tell.”

“Is she real?”

“Fuck if I know but I’m certainly not swimming all the way over there to find out.”