#I wrote a whole ass fic about one of them I feel very strongly about this

[cassmouse]

This might be just me being delulu but imo Stranger by Olivia Rodrigo is SO post-series canon Roxie coded. Like. Look this is roxie after the closure and the healing and the possible Kim involvement this is her after she got to be happy

[queseraone]

Do all the ones you haven't gotten yet 😂🥰❤️ ilysm

OMG YOU BRAT

1. Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely? Um, probably my Linstead multi-chapter (I think you're familiar hahahaha), mostly because I had no plan in place and it became a total mess. So I guess I would rewrite it by... not writing it at all? Oh! But seriously I kind of wish I could go back and re-write this one. It was my first foray into writing for Chenford, and I've been thinking about a bunch lately for some reason (I think because it's vaguely related to another idea I have). I wish I'd kept it entirely canon compliant.

3. How would you describe your writing style? Lately? Nonexistent.

4. Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them? Original characters are TERRIFYING to me. There's a reason I write fanfic and not original fiction, coming up with characters (especially well-rounded, relatable ones that people like) feels impossible. So I just... don't. (To the point that I researched the names of every single referenced member of Metro so I could use actual character names and not make any up. I have the list if anyone's interested 😜)

5. What's a tag you never want to use for your works even when it applies? I find this question confusing. I never want to use MCD, but it shouldn't ever apply since I have no intention to write it. What a cop out of an answer, but I don't understanddddd. OH! I sometimes wish I could exclude relevant tags for the surprise factor.

6. What's your ratio for rating your works? What does this mean? Oh wait, I think it means in terms of T vs M vs E? Sex brings it to M, and porn is E?

7. Your favourite ao3 tag. Lately? Established relationship or missing moment.

8. How slow is a slow burn? So slow that they spend most of the story dancing around their feelings and only get together near the very end.

12. If you write in more than one language, what's the difference? Strictly English over here.

13. Rate your worldbuilding skills from 1 to 10. Uh... 1 or 2? Because I don't build worlds, I play in existing ones created by the show?

16. Are one-shots really underrated? Wait are they underrated??? WHY?? I LOVE a one-shot. Whether it's 500, 2000, or 10K words, I love being able to sit down and enjoy and fully fleshed out story from start to finish.

17. Past or present tense? Why? I used to write in past tense, but I think reading more present tense influenced me to do the same, and now I prefer present.

19. Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.

“No!” she practically shouts at him. She takes a moment to school herself, exhaling slowly. “I mean, Tim, I say this with love, but if you don’t give me some fucking space, I will kill you.”

20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you? Many. Though it usually bites me in the ass because I end up stuck on something, and then something else, etc. So clearly it doesn't work all that well. But I think (unless I was on a total roll, which sometimes happens) I'd be stifled if I focused on only one thing. Plus ideas tend to multiply.

21. Can you accurately predict how long your fics are going to be? If you can, what's your secret? No, not really. I don't typically write anything super long though.

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again? I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE MY IDIOTS!!!!

24. Thoughts on flashbacks/flashforwards. Not really a fan, especially if they're super long. A couple of lines here or there are a-okay with me, but when you're italicizing half a chapter? Pass.

25. Is writing the whole thing beforehand better or worse than writing it as you go? As in, with a multi-chapter? I clearly suck at that, so I think I'd only ever do another if I wrote the whole thing in advance (or at least had a VERY clear plan in place)

27. Do you agree that one shouldn't start a story with a piece of dialogue? Nope, strongly disagree. Sometimes it just works to jump right in without preamble.

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing? Not really, but I'll take any advice you want to throw at me, because I am soooooo stuck.

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't. Well right now, every single one. Because I CAN'T WRITE 😩. Oh, but my Contractor Jay fic counts I guess? *Sigh* 10K words of nothing. IT HAUNTS ME

32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing? Fuck. And murmur. I looooove murmur, it's my favourite.

33. Give your writing a compliment. 😩 I... can... idk dude, I can't right now. How do you compliment something that doesn't exist?!?!?!? I'm going with my fallback -- I'm decent(ish) with words themselves, but ideas are my struggle.

34. Do you write to improve? Or is that not a concern for you? Do I sound like an ass if I say no? 😬 I write as a creative outlet, that's all.

35. Thoughts on writing challenges/contests. Contests, no thanks, I don't like the idea of pitting writers against each other (assuming that's what that means???). I'm all about celebrating other writers. Challenges, like #chenfordweek? YES, I wrote more that week that I had in ages, I apparently do well when there's a fire under my ass.

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of? I ask you? 😅 And when I try by myself, I follow your lead of Taylor Swift lyrics. Fave of the ones I've managed to do on my own? I like this one best I think?

38. "This never happened" fix-it fics or "this happened but" fix-it fics?

As long as you fix it, I'm happy! (Yes Suz, I mean you specifically here)

39. Wildest AU scenario you have written? I've only written one, so I guess that's it -- paging Dr. Jay Halstead. I don't think any of the AU ideas I've played around with are particularly wild.

40. Write a 9-word fic. What the fuck is this question?!!? Tim Bradford loves Lucy Chen forever and ever. Amen. Nine words does not a fic make.

Thanks-ish, I love you and I hate you for this 💖

[andrea-lyn]

Tagged by @lambourngb (thank youuuu)!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2021. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

1. you are not you (and home is not home) - This was the Old Guard fic that was super ambitious (for me) and long and out of sequence, but I’m so proud of it and even when editing, it never felt like a labour, so I’m proudest of this one and I’m so pleased with how it wound up

2. You Won’t Believe Who Richmond’s Hottest Player Is! - I have a lot of love for all my Ted Lasso fics, but I’m proudest of this one because I got to play around with a bunch of voices and I like to think I got pretty close to all of them. I’ve enjoyed carving out my little gen niche for this fandom and this was a fave to add to it

3. Butter(bar)flies - This one was one I wasn’t going to write. It’s a S1 based Miluca and I knew it wouldn’t get that much attention, but I really feel strongly about the dynamic I created here in a pre-canon setting, so I’m very proud of it. As well, it was one of the fics (of many) this year that helped me enjoy the writing process for what it is and not just seeking feedback

4. Let’s Finish What We Started - This is the futurefic Alex/Henry from RWRB that I basically wrote because I wanted to see a little future angst. I love future angst, what can I say? I’m proud that I wrote it, but also that I wrote it to its fullest, aka, not just a small sliver, but a whole piece. 

5. Make An Ass Out of U & Me - I love this one just because it was modern Joe/Nicky and fun because I enjoyed making Nicky think that Joe and Booker were together when really, they were just stupid idiots pining for each other

Tagging @knoepfchen @hklnvgl @raedear @christchex @queersirius @rhubarbdreams @kaydeefalls @aewriting @inell @bestillmyslashyheart @earnmysong and anyone else who wants to talk fic!

[awanderingdeal]

The idea that Finn joins a book club and makes new friends lives rent free in my mind cus I feel like the only friend he has that isn’t on the team are like 2 peopleish so if someone wrote I’d be happy like literally anyone

Okay, I'm not gonna lie this was a difficult one for me to write because I quite strongly HC that a) Finn is the most extrovert to ever extrovert and he will literally talk to everyone including the pigeons in the park - It is a bone of contention because he lives with two introverts and b) Finn and book clubs do not get on - Firstly, he is super serious about his reading so he gets kind of annoyed when people don't read the book etc. and secondly, whilst he is a massive people person, that rejection sensitivity is a bitch and he never coped well with that feeling when somebody else strongly disagreed with his opinion because he kind of thinks they hate him now.

That said, I gave it a go! It kind of turned into an O'Knutzy fic, sorry! But I hope it is close to something you want :D

Finn looked at the clock, worrying at his lip. He should leave it another ten minutes before he set off, he didn't want to be the first one there. He hauled his backpack onto the sofa next to him, checking items off his mental checklist as he rifled through it for the third time. He knew he had everything he needed, he just didn't know what to do with his hands.

"Hey babe, you okay?" Leo looked up from cell, offering Finn a soft smile.

"Yeah." Finn nodded resolutely. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"It's okay to be nervous, you know?" Leo placed his phone on the coffee table in front of him, moving from the arm chair to take a seat next to Finn. Leo gently slipped the backpack from Finn's hands, placing it on the floor, before linking their fingers together.

"It's just a book club," Finn sighed. "I play in front of thousands all the time. This is dumb to be nervous about."

"Hey," Leo squeezed Finn's hand. "It's not dumb. You just want these people to like you, and that's okay. They will by the way. It's impossible not to. That smile is just too charming."

The smile that spread across Finn's face almost felt involuntary.

"See, too charming," Leo chuckled, pressing his lips to Finn's. "You better get going. I can drive you if you want?" he muttered against them.

"No," Finn leaned his forehead against Leo's, feeling bolstered. "That's okay."

"Alright then, have fun." Leo released Finn's hand, pressing his copy of 'An American Marriage" where they were now empty. "Don't forget this."

***

Leo and Logan turned to look at him as soon as he stepped into the lounge. Finn glanced past them to the TV, recognising the frozen still from Logan's favourite shark documentary.

"So," Logan pressed. "How'd it go?"

Leo shoved him gently, hissing something that Finn couldn't quite make out.

"Yeah," Finn hummed, crossing the room to squeeze himself between his boyfriends. Logan made a disgruntled sound, but he appeared to recognise Finn's need to be in the middle right now, surrounded by the familiar comfort of them. He smiled up at them, Leo brushing a strand of hair from his eyes, reminding Finn that he needed to book a hair appointment. "It went really well!"

The three of them seemed to expel a breath at air at the same time, a small tension dissipating.

"It was a bit weird at first, you know, on account of me being a Lion and all that. But I think I managed to convince them I was just a normal human being," Finn commented. Now that he had started, it all just tumbled out. "I think I made a new friend as well. Charlie, their name is. They said I was very insightful."

"You do realise you have a whole ass Harvard degree in Literature, right, Harzy?" Logan teased, snuggling closer to Finn.

"Books are easy. People are hard," Finn groaned.

"Are you going back next week?"

"I think so," Finn answered, not ready to commit quite yet. "I got Charlie's number though. I think we're going to go for coffee sometime."

"I'm proud of you, baby," Leo curled into Finn's side.

"Me too," Logan agreed. "Can we watch the documentary now?"

"You have seen this at least ten times, Lo! Let Fish tell us about his night."

"He's finished! You were finished weren't you, mon amour?"

"I made notes! I could tell you all about the book if you want?"

Logan whined, letting his head fall back against the couch. "Now look what you've done, Nut."

"Well, I want to hear the notes."

Finn might not have been the most confident making new friends, but knowing he had these two to come home to made it so much easier to put himself out there. He knew he couldn't make them, or hockey, or even the team, his whole world, but they were pretty damn important.

[shadowdianne]

Fic writer review [Or a fic writer tag game if you prefer]

I was tagged by @naralanis and I can already see her grin all the way from where I am xd Thank you, dear, for the tag, let’s see what are my answers, shall we.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

*bursts out laughing* Adding both pseuds I have… 535 according to the account info but by counting them all I’m reaching 541 so I’m guessing it’s counting some drafts I need to re-find.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I seriously hated you for this one xd I was going to do it by hand by I decided one-third there that I value my mental stability a little bit more xd according to the stats page back at a03 that number would be 1257884. It may be wrong. I think there should be a few more numbers up there but the majority of my works are one-shots so *shrugs* There’s also the fact that counting my ao3 things only is shaving off like half of it Xd Anyway, can we laugh at the fact that I’m a pain in the ass and that I’ve written a lot? More than I should have, that’s for sure

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Trick question because I haven’t crossposted everything I wrote back in ffnet and I actually erased some fics from my account back there so the numbers are a little blurry there.

When I had the entirety of my work posted both in ffnet and a03 I had written for: Twilight (Bella/Alice) Glee (Faberry and there were a couple Pezberry and I don’t fucking remember the pairing name for Santana and Quinn), Harry Potter (Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Narcissa, Hermione/Bellatrix) OUAT (SwanQueen and several oneshots focusing on the mad hatter and the blue fairy solely back at ffnet that were written in Spanish and never translated), I actually had a veeeery old au prompt of Frozen (Elsanna in where I wrote them as non sibilings), Rizzoli and Isles (Rizzles), Dishonored 2 (Emily Kaldwin/Alexi Mayhew), Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, Supergirl (SuperCorp/Supercat) I had a 100 one -or maybe two??- (Clexa), The Shannara Chronicles (Amberle/Eretreia [Or Princess Rover], Rwby [Blake Belladona/Yang], The Worst Witch (Hecate Hardbroom and Pippa Pentangle), The Half of it, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Madam Satan/Zelda Spellman) and… I think that’s it(?) I may be forgetting some but probably nothing important if I’m not remembering it lol.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Ah, we are going to go there, uh? Xd My works are not the kudos and comment getting type Xd So I was quite surprised when I went to check this.

1: Cracked it I wrote this one back in 2017, it was a prompt done by an anon: Lena is nerding with one of her projects at home, mumbling mostly to herself because she’s stuck and Kara casually mentions how to solve the problem like it’s nothing. I really had some fun with this. It was back when some us, SQeeners were fully doing the jump between OUAT and SuperGirl (I mean, there had already been some crossover as for fandom is related but this when the girls were actually getting their conjoined voice within the fandom)

2: Dateless I honestly needed to check what this one was about but I think I can see why this one shot has the amount of kudos it has. It’s a short and sweet idea and responds to the Teachers Au that went SO well with SQ. Everyone thinks they hate each other and try to set them up with other people whilst they, in truth, are dating. I don’t remember if I wrote them as married rather than dating but despite being from 2017 as well is one cheeky enough to be cool Xd I probably would edit some lines now *shudders*

3: After you I truly didn’t expect this one to be top 3. Makes me think of a lot of things, if I’m being honest Xd. After you was a one shot written almost feverishly as an answer to the fabulous drawings that Sejic did of both Lara Croft and Wonder Woman back at 2018 or something. It’s just Lara and Diana being himbos but not at all with each other.

4: How about… How about is one I remember perfectly, it was my answer to the ending of the Half of it film. I had SOME thoughts about it, let’s just stop there Xd I really liked the film itself but I think and I thought at the time that my response to wishing for a final scene at the very end of the credits responds to me being in a different personal moment than the characters. I really wanted to explore my feelings about it and so I wrote about them finding each other again after some time passes. It was also something I wrote after quite the hiatus so I took it as something I could write about without focusing too much on the why.

5: Come to me

Ahh, SuperCorp Xd I remember this one actually. A friend of mine and I were talking about descriptions, and she mentioned quite off-handedly how she wanted a fic in where Kara’s back was described. I complied… more or less.

Fun tidbit, despite the big volume of my work is obviously set in ouat there’s only 1 SQ fic there as you can see, the others are either SuperCorp or the random one shots I created for Wonderwoman/Lara Croft and The half of it. *sighs in deep thought* I’m also not going to look too much into how almost all of the fics were posted and written back in 2017. Nope, not at all.

*Small voice screaming you peaked in 2017 and everything else is garbage jumps back and forth*

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I tend to always respond, yup. I truly value comments. I might have gone for spells of time in where I didn’t have the mental capacity to check in old fics because I truly didn’t know what to answer but I treasure every single comment and you all who comment know that I can start to ramble in the answers xd -sorry about that- I really really REALLY love interaction.

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending:

Ok, Nara, come on, this one is a catch for me. I’ve written angst in far too many fics to remember the angstiest one :P I have the most recent one, though, that is the easy one to think about: Goodbye.Written for @delirious-comfort. I’m just going to say “Kisses with their last dying breath” as an idea of what awaits inside but I’ve written about death and loss and angst quite a lot. There were some I wrote back to SQ with Regina needing to kill Emma during the Dark Swan arc that, to this day, I still love and some others in where Regina is the one that dies, again and again, trapped by magic while Emma watches. I have the loss in mental destruction form and… I REALLY like my angst y’know xd

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not counting Lara and Wonder Woman not really! I think it comes from the fact that I loooove worldbuilding as a whole and some pairings would require all my focus into making the world perfect which in turn would make me self conscious on the OOCness of it all.

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

*snorts* I’ve received hate due to the pairing I’ve written about, how I’ve written about it, the amount I’ve written, how slow or quick I can be, the usage of some tropes, the lack of usage of those same tropes… Let’s just go with: yuuuup.

9. Do you write smut?

I’ve written smut, yeah! But I can already see the pointed looks of some so let’s elaborate Xd I write smut when asked and sometimes when not asked but there’s a part of me I like to call a terrible tease that prefers writing the beginning of a scene, taunt it, focus on what happens before the sex scene per se as I find it more enjoyable to write. The process of escalation is always the best for me to see what can I do it by using both dialogue and descriptors tbh, so I tend to tease more than show.

9. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A few weeks ago I’d have said: Maybe(?) But trying to follow the trail of some other fics that had been stolen from some friends -I think it was me trying to find more about the page that stole something from your Nara!- I found some pages in where my fics had been reposted. In some it was stated that the person posting the fic wasn’t the author but I had never been contacted in order to see if I’d say yes to such a thing and in some others the page was locked up but I could still see someone was pretending to be the author. I did the thing and got some of those down.

Pointed note: Ask me if you want to post or translate or anything. I will look into you and answer you if you seem honest about the thing. But despite every joke and self-deprecating comment those 500 and then some fics represent MY time so very kindly I say fuck off to those who wish to steal from me and if I catch you… you don’t really want to see me angry, trust me.

10. Ever had a fic translated?

I’ve given permission to some, yeah, but never heard it back from them so I’m guessing it didn’t stick.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I’ve written series alongside other authors as @stregaomega for example. And some others that are unpublished -looking at you @carsonnieve - I’ve also done collabs… but fics co-written in the sense of two authors same chapters I don’t have anything posted I’m afraid :P

13. All-time favourite ship?

*snorts*, I guess the obvious answer is SQ uh? And I do think they were the ones that allowed me to read and write SO much. The one I feel more strongly about, however, is Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

All of them counts as a valid answer? But if I only could finish one that would be Arcadia. With A forgotten Promise second and the one I did as an Assassins Creed AU third. (I don’t remember the name so there’s no link, sorry xd)

15. Writing strengths?

Uhhhh, you REALLY want me to say that? I don’t fucking know!! To me everything I write is garbage. I always try to go for the feelings so I guess. Dunno xd I’ve been told I’m good at worldbuilding and to be honest is what I enjoy the most.

16. Writing weaknesses?

Everything Xd Pacing? What I hate the most sometimes is dialogue, I would count it as a weakness but I’m always far too focused on description rather than dialogue. I don’t think it’s a bad thing per se but it’s something that I don’t do as much.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m conflicted. Always. Majorly because I think that having bilingual characters in fanfiction is portrayed and expected in a way that I don’t feel it’s honest with how bilingual people -us- talk. So if I go by what I know I do I think it’s not what readers hope to see when it comes to that and if I go for how canonically is hoped to be found I don’t think it’s logical. But that’s me and my overthinking Xd If I have the option I like to do it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Belice! Or Bella/Alice. Worst first fic ever but oh, well, I’m always saying that :P

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Uhh… Don’t make me do this XD Agh, I don’t know. I’ve always been very vocal about Metallic Ink because I let myself enjoy the process of creating a magic system almost out of zero and that was fun. Despite hating some of the writing process and that I’d do it differently now I think I’m going to stick with that answer. Or anything that had any steampunk-based undertone. To be honest I like more thinking of concepts, I had one in where Emma was a thief and it involved the robbery of a ring that was Regina’s one way ticket to freedom I then later repurposed that I adored thinking about so let’s go with…. Yeah, I love having the option of changing things up a little and focus on how characters would fit in different aesthetics for this one Xd

Annnd… these are four pages, gods. I’m just going to tag @waknatious @carsonnieve @stregaomega here and see what they do- Enjoy the questionnaire ladies :P

[hoekaashi]

3 am Talks - hq pt 3

a/n: almost done, two more left!! i’m not sure why, but these ones were really fun for me to do and i had to cut myself off before i wrote whole fics for each one. also thank you to my wifey for helping me with akaashi, idk why his was so hard for me to do ): pairings: bokuto x reader, akaashi x reader, ushijima x reader, tendou x reader, semi x reader warnings: some spoilers for post timeskip, minor cussing, a bit suggestive (ushi) taglist: @babydabi​, @suckersuki​, @bakugoustanaccount​, @animoozies​ part 2 | part 4

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

⇾ definitely someone who talks about the first things that just pop into his mind ⇾ would literally change topics in the middle of his sentence ⇾ “did you see my last spread, I was centerfold Tsum-Tsum was not happy but when I offered to trade places with him, it made him even more mad - I just got an email saying my new knee pads have been shipped YES - babe are you hungry? Let’s go to the convenience store and get some snacks” ⇾ all over the place ⇾ but the second sleep starts to hit him, he become even softer than he already is ⇾ this baby would def be asking for validation without outright asking for it - we all know he lives to be praised but as he gets older, he stops asking for it directly ⇾ i feel like he just becomes more self-conscious after he realizes that being on a national team means that now the entire WORLD is scrutinizing him ⇾ i could keep going on about him imma stop

“I couldn’t help it, I started laughing.” Even hours later, Bokuto was trying to hold in laughter from the memory of the event. “I think that’s why he’s mad at you Kou.” Bokuto pouted. “I offered to help him up.” “Yeah, but you were also red from laughing so hard and wiping the tears from your eyes. I don’t think he appreciated that.” Bokuto got quiet and you knew what that meant. “But at the end of the day, the pictures came out amazing. You look amazing.” His smile, although soft compared to his usual grin, came back. “You think so?” You hummed. “If volleyball doesn’t work out, you could be a model. I already know one of my friends has a shrine dedicated to you. Which honestly feels weird, but hey, if it’s harmless why should I care?” you said, going off on a tangent. Bokuto brushed off the compliment that normally would’ve stroked his ego. “Nah, I don’t think I could handle the pressure.” You cocked an eyebrow. “People constantly judging you and criticizing you. You know me, I thrive with praise and…” “Become emo with criticism?” He let out a dry chuckle. “Yeah. I’m trying to change.” You reached over and caressed his cheek. “There’s a difference between growing up and mellowing out and changing who you are. You’ve done the growing up part and you’re slowly mellowing out as much as you can. But please don’t change.” “But people keep saying -” “Forget what they say. I love you the way you are now.” Bokuto’s full grin returned to his face. “I love you more.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ more of a listener he learned his ways from babysitting bo ⇾ he would just enjoy listening to whatever you had on your mind ⇾ one to add his own commentary and thoughts to whatever you were saying ⇾ if he were to talk though, he would reminisce  ⇾ talks of bokuto and his old team, things he misses ⇾ but speaking of bokuto, he would go off on how proud he is seeing his former ace doing so well for himself now - even if he still isn’t a normal player ⇾ depending on how open he’s feeling, he might even wander into his insecurities and childhood, things he doesn’t really open up about unless he feels really close to you

“And then I booked it out of there,” you finished your story. Akaashi hummed. “What about the other girl who was still working?” “Look, she never sticks around to help me when I have extra work, I wasn’t going to stick around to help her.” He cracked a smile at your pettiness. “Wait, didn’t you have lunch with Bokuto today?” “Yes. It was nice.” You waited a moment thinking that Akaashi would add more. “That’s it? It was nice?” “Well, you know how he is. But it was nice to see him trying to change himself. Well, improve himself.” You rolled over from your back onto his chest and reached up to play with his hair. “We talked a lot about playing during high school and what the others are doing these days. Everyone is so busy now, it’s hard to keep up. I’m proud of them.” You didn’t let the smile on Akaashi’s face go unnoticed, commenting on how it always seemed to be there whenever he talked about his former ace. “Leave me alone, I’m happy with how far he’s come on his own. I can’t but smile when I think about the people I love.” “Do you smile when you think about me?” “Of course I do, you idiot,” he replied before kissing your forehead.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ i very strongly believe he would talk about parallel universes ⇾ he would go into the existence of them but also like ‘what if there was a way for people in a parallel universe who could watch me as if my life was a movie’ ⇾ if he was in a more serious mood, like if he had a big match coming up or sum, he would talk more about his goals ⇾ the things he hopes to accomplish in the future, the outcomes he wants in life ⇾ if he was tired, it would be more like akaashi - more listening, less talking ⇾ i feel like he would always want to know what’s happening in your mind so he would ask you the most random questions or just want to listen to you talk as he drifts off to sleep

“Do you think they saw me when I tripped over Leo and dropped the dishes?” You remembered when he tripped over the cat the two of you were raising and ended up breaking a few plates. As annoyed as you were that the plates you like broke, it gave you a reason to go domestic shopping with your boyfriend. You sighed. “No Toshi. If they were watching you, it would be when you’re playing volleyball or taking a shower.” “But you’re in the shower with me sometimes. You think they saw what we were doing?” “If they did,” you started with your eyebrows raised, “I hope they enjoy it as much I do.” He chuckled. “Why when I’m playing volleyball?” “Because that’s your job now. What else would they watch you do? Play with Leo?” He didn’t reply as he looked down to the cat in his lap. Petting it, the two of you sat in silence for a while. You finally thought he dropped the topic as you started to drift to sleep. “I wonder if the people watching like me. Or what if they think I’m the villain?” You sat up in bed. “Why would you think you would be a villain in a show about volleyball?” “I don’t know. I could be a side character that no one likes.” His voice got quieter the more he talked. “Aw, Toshi. I’m sure you have many, many fans in this parallel universe who all wish to be dating you. You never intentionally hurt anyone. You tried, in your own way, to work with Oikawa, but it’s not like you sabotaged him or anything.” He nodded. “He should’ve come to Shiratorizawa. We could’ve been that impressive first year duo instead of Hinata and Kageyama.” You rubbed his shoulder. “I know, baby. You remind me of that at least once a month.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ he would get deep ⇾ talks about his childhood where he was bullied to where he is now ⇾ while he has his insecurities, he would still be very proud of himself and how far he’s come and everything he accomplished ⇾ on the topic of being proud, he would never pass up the opportunity to talk up his bff ushi and he would hype him up even though it’s just the two of you ⇾ he wouldn’t forget about the other third years aka his other ‘best friends’ (i use quotes bc he only has eyes for ushi lezbehonest) ⇾ the talk would shift over to you and how lucky he feels to have found you ⇾ half of the things he would say would just to get you all embarrassed and shy so he could tease you about it

You woke up an hour ago because when you went to snuggle with your boyfriend, his body was missing from bed. For the last hour, he talked to you about how much he’s grown over the years, not once stopping to let you say anything. You finally had enough of this monologue. “Satori, how much more can you possibly say? It’s been a whole ass hour. Get your ass to bed so I can snuggle with you and lemme sleep.” Sighing, he walked away from the window where he was using the light from the moon to set the mood of his speech. Getting into bed, he waited until you were satisfied and closed your eyes. “But also, Wakatoshi has gotten so far on his own. I couldn’t be more proud of my best friend.” “Satori, please. For the love of God.” “Babe, you gotta let me air this out. Good communication and all that.” “We don’t have a single problem that needs to be ‘aired out’ right now. I got work in the morning and you like the sound of your own voice.” That still didn’t stop him. “And Semi, I gotta hand it to him, the man finally learned how to dress properly. And his music isn’t that bad either so I gotta find something new to annoy him with now. Reon is still keeping his fighting spirit alive and playing volleyball too. My friends, all doing so well.” Tendou glanced down at you who had fallen asleep to his heart beats. “But you. I’m the most proud of you. I’m so lucky to have found you. Not that I needed someone in my life at the time, but all the happiness you’ve given me on top of the great things in my life. You’re an amazing person, and I appreciate the impact you’ve made in my life.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ before we start with semisemi, he plays bass and sings in his band but he also plays the piano and guitar (these are MY OWN hcs, none of this is canon) ⇾ that being said, he would stay up late at night playing his guitar, working on songs and quietly singing lyrics to himself ⇾ his talks would be about purpose - like why he’s on this earth similar to hinata ⇾ aha ha ha so if yall read kuroo’s, you know how i feel about scorpios ⇾ semi babe is not safe from that either ⇾ while he is bad at opening up, he also has a short temper so expect apologies for his random outbursts from him ⇾ imma touch on this more in my semi relationship hcs so i shall stop here

You had been on your computer, finishing up some work of yours that you had been procrastinating on with Semi sitting on the couch, strumming his guitar as he worked on a new song. You hadn’t been paying attention the entire time, not until you closed your laptop and sat back in your chair. “Eita, what’s that song?” Your sudden question caused him to jump a little. “Oh, uh, I didn’t realize you were listening.” “I just heard you singing. What is that?” He rubbed the nape of his neck. “I was hoping to hold out until it was finished.” You walked over to him, draping your arms around his shoulders and leaning your weight on him. You read the lyrics he had so far, your eyes growing bigger with each line. “What… is this?” “An apology.” You pulled away from him. “I know I’m not the easiest boyfriend and that when I have a problem, I should say something rather than exploding on you over the littlest thing. I didn’t really know how else to express this without messing it all up.” “I’ve known you for a long time, I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t figure that much out.” “But still, it doesn’t mean that I should just stay this way. I should be growing with you as a person, not stuck how I am. I really do need to learn to express myself better.” You let out a small chuckle. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.” You had. Four times already. “And this will be the last. Thank you for putting up with me.” Your arms wrapped around him once again. “Next time, I expect an entire album with love songs dedicated to me. Got it?” “Well fuck, I better not mess up. I don’t have enough material for an entire love album.” You shoved him. “Hey! Maybe I will leave your sorry ass.” “I’m just kidding! Babe! Where are you going?!”

[literali1110]

Thanks @poppypickle for the tag! Started a new post because the other threads were getting long, hope that's ok!

Name or preferred nickname: Li (nickname just because my real name is pretty rare)

Pronouns: she/her

What's the story behind your username: some weird combination of my name and the word Literally 😅 I actually wanted it to sound more like Literary because I made it up before posting my first fic but literali fit better with my name. Sometimes I wish I could change it but...it's probably too late now! 1110 is my bday :)

General location: Eastern hemisphere. How's that for general? ;P

Tell us something cool about you in real life: my background is in science and I'm starting a new job soon I'm pretty excited about working on developing a gene therapy drug!

Favorite Chenford moment: this is hard but I think I'm going to be cliche and say the moment he saves her in 2x11 just because of how he's holding on to her for dear life. And just the whole arc of him feeling responsible for what happened to her - GOLD.

Here are some of my first thoughts I shared on a chat after I saw that episode:

"OMG the rookie 2x11 WOW I already knew what the storyline was but to actually see it - the way they had no music at the end/just lucy singing 🥺

And then TIM was the one who found her and got her out and preformered CPR including MOUTH TO MOUTH (which I'm pretty sure you're not really supposed to do anymore so that was totally for the drama/fans) and then she was sobbing and he HELD HER, I wish could hear what he was saying to her there, and the he stayed by her bed the WHOLE night 😍😍😍 "

Moment that made you start shipping them: I started watching already knowing about the ship and I binged the show in about a week (thru 3x04 I think) but I don't think I really saw them with potential to be a couple (at least not at that moment in time) in the very beginning - Tim was, well, an ass, for a while. But then Lucy stood up to him with Isabel and I think 1x20 is when I really felt more strongly about them as a couple. In S2 their relationship definitely felt like it was in a new place and let's talk about 2x03 THE BET because that, I feel, is a HUGE sign from the writers that Chenford was going to be a thing. The looks she gives him in the episode? Please.

And then came 2x11 and you already saw my thoughts on that above and I think by then I was fully on board the Chenford train! And of course reading all the great fic about them just made me love them and want them together even more!

Who you think will realize they have FEELINGS first:

I think I agree with what I've seen a lot of people say - that Tim will realize first (maybe when Lucy goes UC?) But he'll wait for Lucy to make the first move. And after her "confession" she seems pretty unaware of her feelings so we'll see when that happens...

Favorite character who isn’t Lucy or Tim:

Jackson or Angela.

But also Nyla!

And Kojo ❤️

Favorite Chenford headcanon:

I love that everyone decided they're going to have a daughter. I love that they have a dog together - I'm not sure if they're at the place where they take hikes together just yet but I'm sure Lucy dogsits sometimes and begs Tim for pictures.

They're gonna be surrogate parents to Tamara for the rest of her life.

They're gonna be aunt and uncle to angel and Wesley's kids and vice versa.

And they're never gonna stop trying to one up eachother, always challenging one another and setting up little pranks!

Do you write fics/make gifs/make vids/do something else cool? You’re awesome! Share your stuff:

I do have a few Chenford fics - I'm LiteraLi on AO3. I also have a few more ideas I'm working on, although I'm a slow writer and a procrastinator but I don't think you've seen the last of me yet!

Fic you’re rec’ing the most right now:

At the top, I gotta rec anything by @fromiftowhen and @universallongings . Then, anything by @farfarawaygirl @firstdegreefangirl @crose84 @toews-a-peek @jakelovesamy @asroarke and @poppypickle .

Special shout out to Beach Relaxation (A Guided Meditation by Tim Bradford) that @crose84 wrote in response to a promt for me - you must check it out, it's the sweetest thing ever!

But seriously there is sooooo much good fic out there and I'm sorry if I didn't mention anyone by name - just scroll through the chenford tag on AO3 and you'll be sure to find some amazing fic!!

Tag another Chenford fan to fill this out: @lupin72 who gets allllll the credit for introducing me to this ship!

And anyone who wants to do it!!

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Azula is one of those characters who either gets girlbossified or utterly demonized and neither is fair. She is intelligent,determined,hardworking and powerful. But as a result of Ozai molding her into a weapon she also became an emotionally abusive person towards Zuko(either manipulating him or insulting&belittling him),Mai&Ty Lee. Fanfiction sometimes fails by blaming her victims and sometimes fanfiction fails by erasing Azulas traumas.

Long so under the cut.

Maybe I’m just an old ass mf but I don’t really like the whole ‘girlboss, gaslight, gatekeep’ trend. To me it comes off as trying to make two serious topics cutesy and quirky and I’m not a fan. Maybe it’s supposed to be ironic or I’m missing something.  But not a fan. xD  Okay, I don’t mind girlboss lol. 

But back to Azula; I noticed that too I feel like some fans have a tendency to reduce these characters to black and white versions of themselves. I’m not going to knock anyone for that especially younger people; when I first watched Avatar (at 13) I had a pretty black and white view of the characters myself. I think that what it comes down to is that you learn to think more complexly and with more nuance as you get older because you have more life experience to apply as well a new points of view.

I also think that personal biases come into play both on the pro and anti Azula fronts. People who see their abuser/bully in her will demonize, criticize, or write her off and people who relate to Azula and see themselves in her will glorify, excuse, or woebify her. Which to an extent is fair; a well written character is a character that can strike these kinds of cords and make people feel strongly about them. What isn’t okay is harassing other people for their projections/interpretations and what not. 

The other big one I see a lot is that people just seem to have a hard time coming to terms with and accepting that abuse victims can do abusive things. Because that’s a hard and tragic pill to swallow. 

It’s just a helluva lot easier to say, “Azula is pure evil” or “Azula did nothing wrong” then it is to say, “Azula is a very human-like character with a multi-faceted backstory and personality.”

I think that one more big factor (going back to biases a bit) is that people get on the defensive. Azula fans see anti shit in her tag (where it doesn’t belong, btw) and retaliate by justifying every little thing. While antis will see pro Azula content and get defensive about not liking her and demonize her to validate their hatred. Which is a trend I’ve been seeing a lot lately; you don’t have to call something a buzzword to not like it. You’re allowed to just not like something even for a petty reason. By extension people should also be allowed to just think that something is neat without having to type paragraphs about why. 

Anyhow, I think that there are a whole lot more factors that come into play but these are the ones that I can think of off the top of my head.

As for the fanfiction bit I have two, perhaps conflicting, opinions on this;

A can sometimes be basically one giant meta/character analysis and so the author can write whatever take they want. There isn’t any truly wrong take on any one character. An author’s work is their work and as such they can do whatever they want with it. 

The best fanfics (in my personal opinion) are the ones that don’t go out of their way to demonize or glorify anyone character--unless its being told from the POV of a different character who would idolize or demonize said character. Basically you shouldn’t be able to tell who the author’s favorite and least favorites are (beyond that it’s clearly centered on a particular character xD).

I also think that sometimes fics aren’t the best way to gage a person’s takes on a character. For example Jet takes on a very antagonistic role in several of my fics. I actually do like him as a character. Sometimes it just fits the narrative of the fic to make him just a bad dude. Likewise I once wrote Yue, sweet, friendly, Yue as the bitchy mean girl. I’ve also written good dad Ozai. So I think that in some cases a fic isn’t going to necessarily reflect the author’s metas and character opinions. 

[tsukidrama]

i’m glad you could have your weekend off! i hope you had some rest :)

i’m really happy we agree so much on yelena! but also thank you for making me discover her more it’s been really interesting to talk about her!

same for zeke, season 4 managed to make me forget about what he did to erwin but it still happened and i never thought i’d cry for a man until he died. i was very sad but also kinda mad for feeling so devastated about a man lmao.

i’ve seen more lara tybur works lately, even a nsfw alphabet and honestly she DESERVES, if you ever write for her again i’ll gladly read it!!

i (re)read some of your annie fics today and she really is one of the best aot characters, i can’t believe i didn’t care about her at first. i thought she was so cold (partly because of the dub version of my country) and before knowing more about her and how marley works i really was mad at her for killing all these people but context is very important in her story. anyways i read your post rumbling headcanons and it’s so SOFT, annie really deserves it after everything she had to go through, especially since she thought she was gonna die at a really young age, she can fully enjoy her life now. i am also a big supporter of lesbian annie, i don’t like her with men and annie x armin makes me uncomfortable for some reason, people ship it because armin kept visiting her when she was in her crystal but it was him being obsessed while she couldn’t do anything and i don’t really see how it’s supposed to be romantic? so yeah i really don’t like that ship but if i have to be honest i don’t really like either of armin, eren or mikasa. all the side characters are so great and so interesting that the main ones can seem boring at times.

i’ve also read the great hair massacre of 857 and please it was so sweet and funny!! the whole conversation was already funny but then “There you go saying that gay shit again…” actually made me laugh out loud askljldfijdf. the dialogue in this fic was really great, it seemed so natural!! i really love seeing that side of annie, thank you for blessing us with that content! she was so in character too, the reference to her relationship with her dad was subtle but very welcomed, her tearing up after saying “i left” made my heart clench, her relationship with her father is very complex and you wrote it well!

after reading i got curious and wanted to see annie with actual bangs (apart from that flashback we got in season 4) and i couldn’t find anything, i really wish i could draw rn. oh and both the headcanons and the fic being in canon made me so happy too!! i know i’ve already said it but it’s so rare reading aot stuff in canon i really cherish canon fics when i find them! (that being said, I absolutely love your AUs, i guess i’m just a big fan of your writing!!)

annie kinda feels underrated sometimes which is weird because she seems present in a lot of fics and fanart but she doesn’t seem to have that many fans? especially compared to some others. she 100% deserves more love.

-j

you're so sweet 🥺 thank you. i've been a bit sick lately (chronic illness so nothing out of the ordinary unfortunately) so i'm definitely getting lots of rest!

of course! like i said it is ALWAYS my pleasure to spread the love for yelena. i told you i could make you like her 👀 i didn't even mean to get into her as much as i have but she's so interesting and hot. i'm glad you leaded up liking her!

I WILL NEVER FORGET AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE! i cry about Erwin on a regular basis. i've always felt really strongly about his character and i feel his loss all the time in the final arcs of the story, every time hanji and levi are without him 💔 if there's any man worth making an exception for it's Erwin, that man chugs his respect women juice.

oh fuck yeah! good, it definitely is what she deserves. now i'm gonna go scour the lara tybur tag...

pppffft i was in the opposite situation - i loved her before i knew shit about her character and then felt like a traitor when i pieced together who she was and what she had done.... not sure when you got into snk but i watched season 1 the year it came out and kept up with it so i've really felt every cliffhanger in my bones. i started reading the manga after season 2 aired. my point is that i loved her through Annie all along with her flaws from the beginning, and i've never thought she was "good" per se but it's also obvious that she's affected by what she's done. i always figured there was more to her story than we knew; her reactions, the way she cries over the dead, and the fact that she gives up on her mission that's literally her purpose in life all indicate remorse beyond just regretting being caught. even way back in the day i was like: SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE DOING THIS!! IM TELLING YOU! my brother would constantly be telling me to shut up slksajdfkj but in the end i was right! i just didn't realize that pretty much ALL of the warriors didn't want to be doing what they did, or how complex it all was. she really does deserve a peaceful life being able to do what she wants. i used to cry about her having to die at age 24 a lot, so the ending taking away the titan curse is just about the only part of the ending i vibe with.

yep, same. i absolutely despise that ship-that-must-not-be-named, in my opinion it's a disgrace for both of their characters, but especially hers. it's really creepy, i agree. i don't blame Annie, being in a crystal with only annoying ass people talking to you for 4 years just left her a little confused. armin is gay anyway, i literally just block ppl who post about the ship. i love Mikasa but the other two i agree are pretty crap characters overall.

heheh well there are the manga caps from 139 but it'll be a while before we have her bangs animated. i'm actually so proud of how the great hair massacre turned out, it was such a sweet and goofy story that shows the lighter part of Annie's personality. eee thank you as always and i'm especially happy you mentioned the dialogue! and how it felt natural, that's such a reassuring compliment ❤ and for the bit about her dad. i feel like i'm the only person who likes him alkjdfalksjd i know he's an asshole and he messed up bad but he does really care about Annie and he's important to her therefore her is important to me. can u tell that i have parents-in-law?

i agree! a lot of people seem to either have the attitude of "o yea she's pretty cool i guess" or the full on EVIL MALICIOUS BITCH!! SHE KILLED LEVI SQUAD REMEMBER THE YOYO! i will eternally point out the hypocrisy - Reiner and Zeke do just as bad and worse as she does but the fandom doesn't hate on them. whatever, i'm happy in my bubble over here!

[lifblogs]

Carry You

@bend-me-shape-me​, @pray4jensen, @helianthus21​ This took me longer than I expected, and I’m a day late, but this story required a lot of my attention to make it work. After all, it is my last entry for #SpnStayAtHome. Thank you so much for hosting this, and for reminding me why I love Destiel. I went through some hard stuff that made me turn away from this ship more than I realized. This really brought me back to a place I wanted to be. I love Destiel. I love writing. This was to keep everyone occupied and positive during our own apocalypse, but I just want y’all to know this meant a lot to me and helped me heal in some ways I hadn’t realized I’d needed. So thank you.

And, since this is my last fic for #SpnStayAtHome, I decided to go over the top, and instead of just picking a song lyric as a prompt, I picked an entire song, and wrote a songfic. It’s “Carry You (feat. Fleurie)” by Ruelle.

I know it hurts

It’s hard to breathe sometimes

These nights are long

You’ve lost the will to fight

God, it was too much. It was all just too much. They couldn’t do this. Not without Jack, without Sam. Their family was—

Dean heaved in a shaky breath where he sat in the woods by the bunker. The night was dark and starless. Yet Dean looked up there, believing in… believing in something; maybe not God, but someone was up there, right?

Right? There had to be.

Sam was as good as dead.

His kid was—

His kid was likely just the same. They hadn’t stood a chance against God, the cruel creator of the universe. This wasn’t the ending that God had said was planned for them, but maybe it was still an ending, a consolation prize because he couldn’t get the real-deal.

Dean was so lost, alone…

That was in part because he’d driven away from Cas. Just left him there on the side of that dirt road, not able to look at him, not able to see the loss and hurt in those blue eyes. If Dean had stared right at him, it would be to admit his wrong, to face his failure. It was his plan that’d gone south, his plan that had taken everything away from them. But he couldn’t do it.

His family couldn’t be—

“I’m sorry,” Dean said, voice a broken sob, vision blurred with tears. “God, I’m so sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were finally a family again, and… And I took that away.”

He didn’t even know who the words were for. For Sam and Jack? For Castiel? For himself?

He just didn’t know.

His heart ached so fiercely he could barely breathe. Shadows cloaked him in absolute darkness.

Is anybody out there?

Can you lead me to the light?

Is anybody out there?

Tell me it’ll all be alright

Castiel was dialing Dean’s number into his phone. Though Dean was in his contacts, had been for over a decade, he liked to put in his number, liked to remember who this number belonged to. About to tap on the call button on the screen, Castiel just stood there. He’d walked and walked down that dirt road that seemingly had no end. And only a lone star amidst the heavy clouds shone down upon him.

Dean won’t pick up, he told himself. There was no reason for him to.

They were done.

Rended apart.

But…

No, they couldn’t be.

They’d always been there for each other, had each other’s backs. They’d brought each other back from the darkest places, and they would not go down like this.

The anger, the sheer frustration at not having his family around him, gave Castiel the energy to tap on the screen.

It rang.

And rang, and rang, and rang.

Finally:

“This is Dean’s other, other cell. If you’re calling, you know what to do.”

The beep to let Castiel say his message sounded, filling him with disappointment, and though he knew Dean would probably never hear it, he had to speak. He just had to.

“Dean, it’s me. It’s Castiel. I know…” He breathed in, tears lining his eyes, his throat aching. “I know it’s all gone to hell. And I know He took your brother, our son. Listen, Sam’s my best friend, and I love Jack more than anything in this world. But I need you too. I know you’re probably moping somewhere, with a beer, and—and thinking you screwed up. Well, you didn’t screw up, Dean. You didn’t. You believed in them. You believed in us — believed in me. Now you have to believe in yourself too. And if you can’t…” Castiel sighed, not sure he wanted to say this next part, knowing if he did there’d be no going back. Dean would know what this meant, know what it meant more than the words I love you could ever convey. Because they didn’t do I love you. Instead they sacrificed, and gave, and bled. Instead it was hope, and faith, and what they had always needed from their fathers. Things they’d never gotten. Spurred on by the tears that fell, Castiel went on, “And if you can’t, then I’ll believe in you. I’ve always believed in you, even when it went against my orders. But there are no more orders. There’s just” — the dial tone sounded, Castiel’s message having run too long — “you,” he finished.

He slowly lowered his phone, blinking away tears.

And he searched for Dean.

He needed him, otherwise all this hurt would take hold in ways it never had before.

You are not alone

I’ve been here the whole time

Singing you a song

I will carry you

I will carry you

“Cas, I’m sorry,” Dean prayed, tears now freely running down his cheeks. “I didn’t mean— didn’t mean to leave you. You gotta believe me, I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it. All those… all those times I’ve left you… I’ve never meant it. Not for one second. So you come back to me. You come back. Just… Just tell me I’m not alone.”

On instinct, Dean reached for his phone in his pocket, but it was dead. He’d killed it hours ago, and out here, there wasn’t a place to charge it.

This was only a place for being alone.

God, Dean was so sick of being alone.

He got up and settled himself into the driver’s seat of the Impala, the engine purring with a thrumming intensity beneath him.

“Okay, Cas, I’m coming to you.”

I know you can’t remember how to shine

Your heart’s a bird without the wings to fly

Castiel was walking, and he could hear Dean, could feel him.

He was coming to him, coming back.

And though Castiel realized Dean’s phone must’ve been dead, he still called it, still had the urge to talk to him even when he wasn’t there.

“Dean, I’m coming. Just keep talking to me. Keep praying. I’m here.”

Is anybody out there?

Can you take this weight of mine?

Is anybody out there?

Can you lead me to the light?

“I’m here, Cas. I’m here. We’re gonna fix this. You and me, you hear? The way it’s supposed to be. I know I always said it was just me and Sam. But it’s not. And it hasn’t been for a long-ass time. It’s me and you and Sam and Jack. It’s us. All of us. And it’s gotta be built back up somewhere. So come on, let me get you, baby. If you’re still on that road thinking I don’t give a damn, you’re wrong. You’re so fucking wrong.”

You are not alone

I’ve been here the whole time

Singing you a song

I will carry you

I will carry you

“I know you didn’t leave because you didn’t care. You’re hurt, Dean. I’m hurt. Just keep coming. Keep praying. Please. Please… I need you. I need you.”

You are not alone

I’ve been here the whole time

“I need you.”

You are not alone (not alone)

I’ve been here the whole time

A familiar engine sounded in Castiel’s ears, and he hung up the phone. Headlights glared like bright messengers from Heaven out of the dark, and they came towards Cas. He kept walking, each step assured now, ready. They could do this. They would do this.

The Impala pulled up in front of Cas, and Dean got out, legs weak. Even from here Castiel could hear his heart hammering, and he was sure the blood was rushing in his ears. Cas’ body was just about doing the same thing.

But everything else fell away. The dark, the light. It was just Dean.

Dean was breathing heavy with emotion.

“Cas, I’m sorry.”

Cas just rushed to him, and hugged him hard, harder than he’d ever hugged anyone before. He never wanted to let go.

“I heard your prayers.”

Singing you a song

I will carry you

I will carry you

Dean was stunned, completely frozen, as Castiel held him. As Castiel held him. His best friend, his angel, his family.

Dean wrapped his arms around him in response, all of him burning and aching and weak. Oh god, Cas.

“I’ve got you,” Dean told him, even as he felt Cas’ body tremble and tense in his. “I always have. This thing — what happened — it hurts. It bleeds like nothin’ else. And that’s why we’re going to fight. We’re gonna get ‘em back.”

(Is anybody out there?)

Castiel breathed in Dean’s scent. “We will.”

He pulled back just a few inches, and then held Dean’s face in his, the roughness of his stubble against his palms the greatest feeling in the world. There were tears in their eyes and everything fell into place. The life he’d always loved and felt, even before it had begun — it was here. It was here, beating strongly against his own chest, like they were joined. Perhaps they always had been.

I will carry you

I will carry you

Dean couldn’t speak any longer, just fell further into Castiel’s touch, against his body.

“Angels are watching over you,” his mom had always said.

She’d been wrong about one thing. Not angels, plural, but one. One angel. And it was like he’d always been there.

(Is anybody out there?)

They reached out for each other at the same time, lips meeting, breaths twining together, and then stopping. They loved each other so much it hurt, but it comforted them, down to their very foundations.

They were family, and they would carry each other through anything.

I know it hurts

It’s hard to breathe sometimes

[deancaskiss]

Positive 20 Questions Tag Game

1.) Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

- Tinkerbell (Peter Pan): I very much relate to her, because I also am possessive over the people I love and also need attention all the time or I die hahah. But also she’s sassy and spunky and goes after what she wants, and I love that. She’s persistent and determined and willing to take out anything in her path. And I think all of those things sum up me pretty damn well.

- Dean Winchester (Supernatural): not only have I seen the connection, but my sister and several friends have also told me how similar I am to Dean. The way I bottle things up and avoid dealing with my emotions. How I would die for the people I love because I care for them that strongly that I couldn’t bear to live in a world without them. I’m sarcastic and witty and sassy just like Dean is. Just like Dean, I put up a tough guy front and act like things don’t both me, but really I’m an emotional teddy bear who doesn’t know how to deal with all the things I feel. I also tell ridiculous and stupid jokes and puns and normal get eyerolls from my sister for it, but it’s totally worth it.

- Tony Stark (MCU): I could go on and on about how similar I am to Tony. From wearing my heart on my sleeve to trying to make the right decisions and screwing things up in the process. Just like Tony, I’m sarcastic and smart. But also like Tony, I have a ton of mental baggage. I struggle and suffer with anxiety and panic attacks, too. Just like Tony, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for the people I love. And I hope, like Tony, I learn from my mistakes and try every day to be better and work harder. A lot of my mannerism is just like Tony, the way he uses sarcasm and wit and banter as a front to cover how vulnerable he is. I do the exact same thing. I’m no where near as smart as Tony is, but I’d like to think in difficult situations I let my brain switch into puzzle solving mode just like he does.

- Riley Poole (National Treasure): Riley is my smol bean. I swear he is me in male movie persona. Nerdy and sometimes a little slow on the uptake, but wicked smart in areas most people aren’t. Dedicated and loyal to my friends/family no matter what else is going on. Not always the main hero, but the relatable one everyone loves. Able to do things people don’t expect of me, and to do the things people do expect of me on top of that. Always in the background, working my ass of, just like Riley is. And always seeking the approval of my loved ones, just like Riley. Brave and smart and full of quippy one liners and great comebacks.

2.) Aesthetic?

-  pastel colors, flowers, hippie vibes, glitter and sparkles, sunsets

3.) Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?

- The only musical I’ve ever seen is The Very Potter Musical (oops). I’m not really a musical or play kind of person. I much prefer movies and TV shows. But hey, I can still sing a ton of the songs from AVPM and said references to it so many times even my parents know them.

4.) What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

- either “for some reason you remind me of Marilyn Monroe highkey” or it was this client I was working with as a vet tech assistant and she said to me “you are the best technician I have ever had work with my dog. You are going to be a wonderful and compassionate doctor and I’d love to be your client in the future” and y’all like she literally complimented me so much she even told my boss how much she adored me and my work ethic and I literally went into the back of the clinic and cried after she left because I’ve never felt so strongly that I’m meant to be in the veterinary field.

5.) How many times have you been in love?

- twice. Once was with the girl I had my first kiss with (actually there was many many kisses with her). She was my first love. I mean I really fell for her. She was a lot of firsts for me. And my first boyfriend. He led me on though and played me even though I fell for him and he knew that. So that sucked. 

6.) Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

- When I was 9, I was running in the playground at school and tripped over this tree stump that was like kept there by the school for some reason (I can’t remember). But I tripped ad badly tore up my left hip. I mean like blood everywhere, massively bandages, the whole 9 yards. It healed over and there’s no scar now, but it was super embarrassing to trip over it in front of my entire class and to really badly hurt myself, and this was all like a month after I had just moved to the town and just started school. Way to make a fool out of myself from the very beginning.

7.) Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

- Peter Pan. See my above answer about why I love Tinkerbell. Peter Pan is also my favorite because I love the idea of being able to escape some place and be young forever and forever free and happy. The idea of being able to just enjoy the simple things in life without the weight of the world on your shoulders.

8.) Favorite flower or plant?

-  Plumerias. They are just absolutely beautiful and they smell amazing and their colors are vibrant and beautiful and I just love them.

9.) What’s your favorite holiday?

- Christmas, without a doubt. My mum adores Christmas and she instilled that same love in me. The music, the lights, the decorations, the cheer, the happiness, the gift giving. All of it. It’s just such a happy time in my household and it’s what I look forward to all year because it’s just warmth and happiness radiating in my family.

10.) Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

- @deanscastiel79 sending me messages every day to check on me and to see if I’m okay. Nothing makes me happier than someone noticing if I’m being quiet or if I’m MIA and checking on me and sending me things to make me smile.

- Just seeing the amount of likes and reblogs my destiel fics are getting. And the amount of followers I’ve gained since I started posting destiel fics. I’ve literally gained more than 25 followers in a couple weeks. It blows my mind. And seeing like the notes continue to climb on my fics and then having someone reach out to comment and personally message me to tell me how much they liked one of the fics I wrote. It makes me smile so much my cheeks hurt.

- My puppy, Rocket. He’s the biggest goofball in the world. But he’s so damn affectionate it’s unreal. The amount of love and cuddles and kisses he gives me almost hourly every single day literally fills my heart to bursting. On my worst days, he’s the only thing that can make me smile. He makes me feel loved.

11.) What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

- Rare by Selena Gomez. Because you know what? I am rare. I’m special and unique and proud of who I am. And maybe not everyone can see that, but that’s fine, because I can and will find people who do see that and who cherish me and treat me right. “I don’t have it all, I’m not claiming to, but I know that I’m special.” My favorite lyrics of the song. Because I know I don’t have it all, but I do have so much to offer the world, and I’m ready to share that with the right people.

12.) Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

- I’m a Maladaptive Daydreamer. When I’m most stressed, I’ll let myself go into one of those daydreams until I feel calm again. I let those characters ground me. Either that, or spending some time with Rocket (my puppy mentioned earlier). Because there’s nothing that makes me feel better than puppy cuddles.

13.) What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

- For my undergraduate, I studied and got degrees in Biology and English (Concentration in Creative Writing) with a minor in Chemistry. I’m currently in grad/med school studying Veterinary Medicine and earning my DVM (Doctor of Veterinary Medicine).

14.) This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

- It would either be high waisted shorts and a crop top/tank top/hippie shirt or a summer dress.

15.) What is a quote you live by?

- “Grateful for where I’m at. Excited about where I’m going” and “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

16.) Name the funniest playlist name you have.

- My playlists don’t have weird names. I just have playlists for different artists. I have a playlist called “Soft Songs” for when I’m stressed or need music to sleep to. I had started a playlist called “Down and Dirty” for when I was writing smut fics and needed some inspiration, but the app on my phone wiped it and I was too lazy to remake it again. Maybe I will when I have some more time on my hands so I can have some inspiration to write some destiel smut fics.

17.) Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

- “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Because you’re Skipper Sophie.”

18.) What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

- Don’t let anyone tell you who you can and can’t be. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, and there is always people who will love and support you. And if your gut tells you something isn’t right, trust it.

19.) Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

- My sister. She’s the one person I can go and talk to about anything and everything. We can talk for hours. She always has my back. She boosts me up when I need it. She’s my inspiration and my support system. I don’t think I could live without her by my side. She’s my rock and I love her with everything in my heart and more.

20.) What’s a secret dream of yours?

- To publish a book. I know I’ve gone down the medical path as a career, but someday I would love to write my own novel and have it published.  

tagging: @deanscastiel79 @singingninja4 @themarvelavenger @seekinsideanimus @fadinglight123 @nonthebinary @pizzamanhedelivers @proudace @beatmetothesnitch @s-l-u-m-p-i-e @vcastiel

[realactualfancontent]

After The Trial

Keziah Mason has a chat with her boss.

Wrote this because that one joke fic inspired me.

To say the trial had been a spectacle was an understatement. The tirades Keziah had gone on, the things she'd confessed too (some true, some made up because it didn't matter now so why not go out on a high note, ) the dire curses she'd shrieked. The promises she'd made to haunt them all from beyond the grave.

The crowning moment had been the string of low syllables which had made the judge’s ears bleed.

She'd been hastily gagged after that, (though she managed to bite a man in the process), shackled and dragged out still kicking. For a woman in her mid seventies she possessed truly unnatural vigor.

And now, in her cell, shackled to a wall and unable to reach the chalk sequestered in her sock, she didn't have much to do but struggle against her bonds and wait.

For what though, death? For escape? Not salvation, not what they'd call salvation, she was beyond that. Beyond wanting that.

So she certainly didn't see why they'd send a priest.

For just a moment, when he first heard his approach she'd mistaken his foot steps for the cloven feet of The Black Man himself.

The disappointment on her face when she realized her mistake was profound.

"Well witch this is your final chance, will you repent and renounce the devil."

"The devil can stick his pitchfork up his ass that's not who I work for." She shifted her gaze to glare daggers at the man, ready to give one more diatribe about how everything he thought was true was in fact, a load of horse shit.

But the words caught in her throat as she saw a familiar glint in those phenomenally dark eyes, and she had to stifle a laugh. No mistake then, she wondered if he had hooves hidden under there after all.

"I might renounce someone else though. Turns out this Nyarlathotep guy," she'd known his true name for a while now. "He's a bit overrated."

The Crawling Chaos, who in fairness had not been disguising himself particularly well, blinked in surprise. And then let out a startled laugh of his own.

"Is he now?” He questioned, wondering where she was going with this exactly.

"Tell me then, about this... Nai-are-lath-o-tep? Was it?" He struggled with the syllables in a parody of Keziah when she had been much younger. And, as they were alone opted to make himself comfortable, pulling a stool from the aether and seating himself in front of her to let the woman air her complaints.

This may not be the wisest of tactics. But in many respects Keziah had never been wise. Clever, smart, sharp as a tack sure. But stubborn as a mule and incapable of shutting up when it was in her best interest.

"Well, the thing is, I'm feeling a little let down.”

He nodded sympathetically.

“I was supposed to get a fantastic vacation, see some untold alien vistas, sweeping worlds beyond my wildest dreams, that sort of thing." She continued as if the man shaped thing before her hadn't been the one to make these promises.

"And instead I'm in jail.  I've spent the better part of a week being interrogated and tortured and being paraded out in front of the whole town. Also, earlier today, someone threw a tomato at me.” It was such a minor point to end on but it had riled her intensely.

“So unless The Crawling Chaos were to say, be here, right now with a lock pick or something. I'd be pretty annoyed with this whole arrangement." There was some irritation here, to be sure, but for the most part she was trying very hard to keep a straight face.

"Oh, shame he's not here then..." He could barely finish before another chuckle escaped.

"I'm that obvious?"

"I'm that observant. And you aren't really trying, are you?"

"No I'm not."

"But you are here to spring me right?" Keziah asked for very little, some truth, some knowledge, something more then...this.

The Crawling Chaos made a grand show of checking the pockets of his vestments. (Had they been there a moment ago? Did it matter?)

"Sorry, no lock pick."

Keziah's face contorted to a sneer, she was about to open her mouth to let out a complaint, and insult, or a curse, but he pressed a finger to her lips to silence her.

"Consider this a final test. One more little thing to do before I sweep you off to those promised alien vistas." The ever present capricious glint in his eyes was paired with a playful smirk.

She would have dearly loved to interrupt, but knew better, and instead settled for looking unimpressed.

"After all, it's only walls. You know how to get around those."

She did.

"I do. But I’d need a free hand. I know you can conjure an arm or twenty on a whim. But I'm stuck with these two," For emphasis she yanked on the chain which connected her to the wall. "And they're occupied."

A quiet bemused scoff from Nyarlathotep.

He was enjoying this. It was a good thing she didn’t have a hand free, the temptation to slug a dark god in the face may have proven overwhelming.

"Why are you here then?"

"Oh, just checking in, it's been hours, I was expecting you sooner."

"Again. Shackles."

"I'm sure you'll figure something out. Shall I go tell everyone you won't renounce the devil."

"You can tell them what I said about the pitchfork. And the same goes for their god. Actually while you're at it. Feel free to come up with a few more creatively heinous crimes for me to have committed. I'd like to leave an impact."

Another quiet chuckle. "I'm not sure I can top your little speech earlier. But I'll do my best."

"You were watching that?" A brief flicker of embarrassment. Comportment wasn't her strong suit, but she'd never been quite so feral in front of him before.

"Oh yes. You were very impressive. But I should let you get back to your prison break. See you on the other side." 

He turned to leave giving Keziah a malefic grin as he did, his stool dispersing back into the air as The Crawling Chaos strolled out.In the silence left in Nyarlathotep's wake Keziah set back to work.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she was strongly considering breaking her own thumb to slip at least one of her bonds when the chittering from the corner caught her attention, and the shadow of something slinking, beyond where most could see.

"About time you showed up." She didn’t even look at him.

Mocking titter in response.

"Oh shut up."

Indignant squeaking.

"Fine. Sorry. Now. Please, get your awful little hands over here and help me out."

Brown Jenkin shot out of the corner and clamored up Keziah's skirt, taking careful steps to dig his claws into her more than needed. She winced at each movement. Still. It was help. She'd take it.

Sometime later, in a place where time didn't matter, that seemed for all the world like an unremarkable little attic room with book lined walls and an altar table in the center The Crawling Chaos waited for the tell-tale violet light to spill from the corners and the witch to make her appearance. He was getting impatient. Maybe worried. But he wouldn't admit that aloud.

She finally did, bedraggled, her hands covered in chalk dust and blood, her face sporting a grin equal parts triumphant and manic.He couldn't help but return the smile. His own to wide for the face he currently wore.

"Ah, Keziah, it took you long enough." He gave her a quick once over. "Clean yourself up, you have a book to sign."

[recurring-polynya]

Saw your tags on the 6th Div's artwork and man, not to sound dramatic (still a bit is ngl) but if you ever write something about Ginrei and/or Soujun, know that I'll love you forever ! ;v; They deserve more love ;A;

I am working on a Ginrei story!!

Okay, right now, I am about halfway through the next story in my RenRuki slow-burn epic, The Heart is a Muscle, which was supposed to be about Rukia passing the vice-captain’s exam, but has somehow become about Byakuya facing all the grief he’s suppressed for the last 150 years (it’s a comedy, obvs). It somehow now incorporates a whole-ass Hisana backstory and I had to make up a name for Byakuya’s grandmom/Ginrei’s wife (she’s super dead), which is why I was doing Kuchiki research. If anyone’s interested, I ended up naming her Sonoyo, which means “night garden”, and shares the character for ‘night’ with Byakuya’s name, since all the men in his line have colors in their name, I don’t even speak Japanese, how did I get like this?? Ginrei gets mentioned a lot, as Byakuya realizes that having a headstrong young shinigami in the house who wants to run around fighting people for $0 kinda sucks, actually, especially when you love that idiot young person and would like them not to die, and he sorta kinda, starts to have, like, a molecule of empathy for old Granddad.

ANYWAY, the next story after that is about Ginrei coming to town and making Byakuya miserable and I’ve already started it, even though I knew I shouldn’t’ve. Like all of my Kuchiki nonsense, it is Extremely Disrespectful-- I honestly can’t believe actual Byakuya fans like my writing, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I only love Byakuya because he is Awful, and I love Ginrei even more because he is like if you combined the Awfulness of Byakuya with the Awfulness of the Captain-Commander, that whole storyline with Kouga is my absolute fav. Anyhoo, G’s retired now, and living his best life. (I think Bleach Brave Souls finally came out and said he had died and I do not care, I do what I want).

We know absolutely nothing about Soujun except that he was adorable and he is dead, but he just seems So! Pure! I have made the point in my lt’s exam fic that one of the reasons Byakuya is being a butt about Rukia taking the exam is because Soujun died a vice-captain. If you have read my writing long enough, you will know that I sometimes get attached to random throwaway lines and eventually spin them out into short fics. I can *feel it in my bones* that I have a Soujun fic in me, but I’m not sure what form it’s going to take yet. I’m sure he would have made a very poor Clan Head, but I hc that he was the emotional insulation between Byakuya and Ginrei that made Those Kuchiki Boys a family. True Kuchiki can’t live with each other without having a big softie once a generation to keep the peace.

Anyway, because I love it when people ask me about my writing, here’s an extremely early excerpt from the Ginrei fic:

When Byakuya emerged from the captains’ meeting, a patiently waiting Hell Butterfly fluttered up from a nearby bush and alighted on his finger. The voice of his adjutant echoed in his head. “Hey, sir, hate to tell you this, but he was early.”

Byakuya said an extremely dirty word (it was “curses”), startling Captain Hitsugaya thoroughly, and flash-stepped back toward his division. 

It was worse than he expected. 

Ginrei had every shinigami in the company lined up in the training yard, and was shouting them through various sword forms. Renji stood off to the side, looking thoroughly amused, and gently correcting the form of some of the younger officers in the back lines from time to time.

“Abarai!” Byakuya hissed.

Renji sauntered over.

“Are you letting my grandfather run drills?”

“He wanted to.”

“You cannot just let him do whatever he wants!”

“He’s just running the drills I was gonna run. Figured there were a lot worse things he could be getting into. He sure looks like he’s having fun.”

Ginrei smacked Fifth Seat Kuchiki on the foot with his practice sword and yelled something at him. Then he glanced up, and a pleased smile spread over his face. “Lieutenant Abarai, take over for me!”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Renji barked,

Renji dashed over, relieved Ginrei of the practice sword, and promptly whacked Fifth Seat Kuchiki on the other foot with it.

“My ungrateful grandson has finally found time within his taxing schedule to welcome me!” Byakuya’s grandfather announced while striding over.

“You were due to arrive at 2,” Byakuya stated coolly. “At the Manor. Rukia and I both arranged half-days. It is eleven.”

“We made good time,” Ginrei explained flippantly. “And we did stop by the Manor, I left everyone else back there. I wanted to see how the old division was making out, and what’s the sense in stopping by when you were expecting me?”

Byakuya’s eye twitched. “And… how did you find it?”

“Running surprisingly ship-shape in the absence of its captain!”

“I was not absent. I was in a captain's meeting. It was an hour.”

“By gaw, I do like that new adjutant of yours.”

Byakuya blinked. “You… what?”

The both looked over at where Renji was criticizing the Eighth Seat by wobbling his elbow so that he lost his grip on his sword, bobbling it wildly.

“You wrote me a ten page, strongly worded letter when I hired him,” Byakuya frowned. “As though the Gotei were overflowing with literally anyone else who had passed the lieutenant’s exam at the time.”

“Well, that was then. You’ve got him now, and I like the cut of his jib. He showed me around while Genryuusai was wasting your time. The division is looking very modern. I was impressed by the new weight room.”

Byakuya felt a headache coming on.

[scarecrowandmrking]

All That Is And Will Never Be (Mark Pellegrino/OC)

 I took another sip of my wine and glared in ever increasing fury at the computer screen. It was two in the morning and even though I knew I had to get up early to make it out to the set on time, I just couldn’t end the argument and let HIM win.  I could just imagine his wolfish smile off somewhere in LA as he realized that, for once in our twitter war of the past two years that he had finally shut me up on something. No way would I give him that kind of satisfaction.

 If you actually thought with reason and not the err of rampant emotionalism, you would see what I’m talking about, he typed.

 If you actually thought with care and not that stuffy headed Rand nonsense, you would see what I’m talking about, I wrote back.

 Tell me where Rand went wrong.

 Tell me where she didn’t?

 Did you read any of the books we discussed?

 Did you read any of mine?

 There was a long pause before he wrote back, I really don’t consider Art Of Being An Asshole a useful political tome.

 WHY? I asked him. You read Rand.

 I closed the laptop with a grin. I could just see him sitting there stewing over that one for a while. Good.  I had met the actor Mark Pellegrino many years ago when he was playing Jedikiah Price in The Tomorrow People and I was on a sister show on the CW. I had thought him rather imposing and remote. He had given me one of those tiny, barely there smiles I had seen in so many photos of him here and there.  I had found his height and build both equally imposing and erotic, brushing up against him in an elevator going up to the place where the photo ops were being taken.  He hadn’t said a word, but that quirky smile had stayed with me for a while. And I had to admit that later that night I did indulge in some vigorous hand under the covers fun at his imaginary expense.

 But these days the infatuation had turned to fury as Mark and I had met each other again on social media. It had all started off as an angry exchange on a forum about social programs and had spiraled into an ongoing series of attacks on one another’s threads. I never knew when he might show up and vice versa. Though we had taken to fighting on DM after it became apparent that people had started to romanticize our beefs, even going so far as to post sexual fics of us online.  Mark found them slightly annoying. I enjoyed reading a few before bed sometimes. Having met the man in person, I could at least attest to the fact that he was quite a sexy creature, though taller and more roguish and infuriating than he needed to be.

 ****************************************************************************************************

 I slammed the script down on Mel’s desk.

 “NO. NO. NO.”

 Mel Aberman, producer of The Runaways, the show where I starred as a morally ambiguous leader of a government organization out to erase the living subjects of a failed experiment, just continued to stare at me with an annoyed but resigned look on his face. We had joked with one another about this very subject on more than one occasion. But I never thought in a million years that he would actually do it.

 “Look, you should see how popular this guy is,” Mel tells me while typing away on his keyboard. He pointed to some things on Twitter I could have cared less about at that very moment. “You should see the viewership when he did the Rubin Report. People love this guy. Besides, with our ratings lately….”

 My face immediately grew hot and red. There it was. Should have known that he would bring up the downturn in numbers for our show as of late to throw in my face.

 “Look, I’m not saying you have to fall in love with this guy and have his babies or anything. Just play nice. You know, I worked with him a little on Number 23. Not a bad guy, once you get to know him.”

 I rolled my eyes as I turned to stomp from the room, making sure to slam the door behind me for good measure. There was a loud thump as I collided with a dark pea coat, the soft fabric brushing against my cheek. My head shot up and I was face to face with Mark Pellegrino, my old nemesis and the person I had spent many a night hollering at all alone in my bedroom with my laptop in my lap.  He wasn’t at all what I had pictured, wearing a black beanie and a pair of clear glasses. But there was no mistaking those twinkling, devilish eyes of his. Like he was enjoying his own private joke that you would never be a part of.

 “Oh,” he said, his smile widening. But I noticed, as I had before, that his smiles were never the wide, open kind as much as a tiny curve of his lips that one could never feel quite sure about the intentions of.  “We meet at last.”

 “Don’t get too use to it,” I told him. “I’ll probably kill you by episode three.”

 He tilted his head, considering me for a moment. “Me or my character?”

 I shouldered my way past his as best I could considering moving him is a lot like trying to dislodge a small tree. “Both.”

When I made it to my car out in the lot I discovered that someone had placed a copy of The Art Of Being An Asshole on my hood.

 “Asshole,” I hissed, my mind already working out just what level of revenge Mel would let me get away with on set.

********************************************************************************************************

 The first couple of scenes I did with Mark made it quite obvious to everyone on set, and the viewing public, that at least our apparent rampant dislike for each other equaled a lot of tension on screen. Which translated into a spike in the ratings. I disliked him, strongly, and when I said certain likes about what a terrible egomaniac I thought he was, it was quite genuine. And when he told me that I was a snobby stick in the mud that needed to lighten up and trust somebody, he was pretty damn convincing about it. But there were also times when our characters did things like grab an arm or brush up against one another that left me pretty shaken up.  And it angered me to feel anything for someone that was nothing but a gigantic pain in my ass most of the time these days.

 And so we worked ourselves through most of the season avoiding each other as much as possible for two actors who were always rubbing on one another on screen.  But at night we would return to our favorite hobby of tormenting the hell out of one another. The barbs were more personal now, the privacy of DM making us bolder about going at it than if we were being watched by the fans. I wasn’t sure at the end of it all if I wanted to jerk myself off or cry after spending most of the day and night around the guy. Sometimes I did both.

 The episode I was dreading the most was episode twelves, All That Is And Will Never Be, where Mark and I have our first kiss after a fight in my character’s office. I stood off to the side of the office set as various crew worked their way around getting things ready. Today would be the kissing scene. Tomorrow the love scene. I had only done two on this show before, both with an actor I had known fairly well. It had been strange and not at all sexy to be doing something so intimate with so many people watching you. I glanced over to where Mark sat on the other side of the room, legs crossed with three books in his lap. Didn’t appear to be too worried about the whole thing from what I could tell.

 When the time came I made my way around the big desk and sat down to look at my character’s computer, giving the impression that I was deep in a series of reports.

 Mark’s character, Agent Charles Rickman, comes in a minute later and slams his palms down upon the desk with a sound so deafening I nearly topple out of my chair. Whoa! Not in the script. The fear and anxiety I feel when I glance up at his enraged face is pretty damn real.

 “I saw the tapes!” Charles/Mark hollers, referring to my character being a double agent and letting the teen mutants escape the facility. “I know what you did. And I’m going to make damn sure you tell me everything you know.”

 He runs around the desk and grabs me by the arms, pulling me towards the door. His grip is tight on my arm and I struggle for a few seconds before going into agent mode and punching him hard in the face. I tried not to hurt him, this was acting after all, but I may have kicked him in the leg...Just a little. What followed was a series of kicks and punches, all lightening fast and what we had been practicing for the past week, Mark was a boxer in real life so it can be kind of intimidating when his fist gets near your face. But I always knew he would pull back at the last second. No worries there.

 But I was worried about the kiss, though. Halfway through a punch Mark pulls me in and presses his lips firmly to mine. I wasn’t expecting his lips to be so soft or his tongue to make its way into my mouth. It was a hungry open mouthed kiss and I felt a searing heat in the pit of my stomach. So this is what it felt like to be pressed up against him, his tongue playing with mine and his hand tangled in my hair. I moaned, wrapping one leg around him before I knew what I was doing. He swept one arm across the table and everything went to the floor. And then he was on top of me, both my legs holding him against me like a vice. I wanted him to rub against me until I came. I wanted…..

 “CUT!” I heard someone yell somewhere off in the background. Mark was off of me in a second, turning around and walking off somewhere in the crowd. I just layed there, trying to get my breath and figure out what the hell had just happened. My pussy was dripping wet and cried out for a vigorous fucking. And I realized that what I wanted was for Mark to give me one. I shook my head, cursing myself for letting things get this far. I just needed more self control. He was an actor. This was a role for him. A job. And I was the chick he had been paired up with that he couldn’t stand. Nothing more.

 *******************************************************************************************************

 Mark was absent that night on Twitter and I wondered if maybe our make out session had gotten to him a little more than I thought it had. But when I got to the set the next day he was the same old Mark as usual, smiling that secretive half smile at the crew and returning to his studies of politics or whatever it was he was reading these days. He noticed me looking his way and gave me a little wave. I gave him the finger back.

 The next scene takes place in my character’s apartment after they leave the office building. It just starts out with us making out right as we get through the door and it moves along into the bedroom. No real nudity, wasn’t that kind of show. But I would take my top off and only Mark and the set would know I was wearing skin colored pasties to cover my nipples. Sorry, people. Like I said, sex scenes are not as romantic as you think they are.

 When the scene started I was once again thrown into a hot kiss with Mark, only this time things seemed different from before. His body moved against mine in a rougher, more desperate kind of way. His mouth started to nip at mine, at one point sucking on my lower lip in a way that made me moan against him and my pussy wetter than it already was. He lifted me up by my hips and carried me into the room, heading right for the bedroom without stopping on the couch as the script had said. Nobody stopped us though, guess the kissing and clawing looked too good to get in the middle of.

 Mark flung me down on the bed, pulling away for a second to loosen his tie and throw it off, something that my lust fueled mind found terribly sexy at that moment. He got down on the bed beside me, as the script had directed and I quickly moved to straddle him, tearing off my blouse in the process. His eyes were dark and unreadable, but his hands moved up and down my side  with a tenderness I hadn’t been expecting after the frenzied love making just moments before. I leaned my face down to kiss him, but he moved my head to the side to place open mouthed kisses along my neck, tongue darting out to skillfully lap at the most sensitive parts of skin. I moaned, grinding my pussy against him. Hard.

 “You need this. You’ve always needed this. Only me. Only me,” he whispered in my ear.

 I shuddered. Not in the script. I could see the dude liked to ad lib. I pushed it all out of my mind as I leaned back and rocked against him, the panties I was wearing and the pants he was wearing not doing much to keep cock and pussy from contact. He had somehow adjusted himself to where his cock was laying against his stomach and I rubbed the head of his dick between my thinly veiled labia. It was all like something two teens would do. And it felt fucking fantastic.

  I leaned my head back as I felt myself coming upon his cock. I didn’t care about the camera on my face, capturing an O face that was actually real. For a second I also forgot about Mark, lost in that magical place a good damn orgasm can take you too. I collapsed onto Mark and he kisses me several times on the forehead. I didn’t remember till later that at that point the director had already yelled cut so Mark had not done it because it was part of the scene.

********************************************************************************************************

   The first thing I did when I got out of there was run back to my trailer and fling myself down on my bed. I just needed to be alone for a while. I had had an actual fucking orgasm. On set. On top of another actor and I felt a lot of mixed up shit about it. Did he know that I had come? What would that be like seeing the dude on set later? Damn. Just. Damn. I didn’t want to think about all that right now. I wanted to think about my pussy, which was still wet and begging for more attention. With a sigh, I started to rub myself through my panties. I didn’t want to reach inside just yet. There needed to be a build up where I wanted to imagine it was Mark’s cock against me through the fabric. His hard, swollen cock I wanted to ride until he filled my pussy full of come.

 A knock at the trailer door pulled me away from my fantasies with a start and I lay there cursing for a moment before getting to my feet to answer it. I expected to find my assistant or someone from the crew telling me that the director wanted me to come back to discuss the scene we had shot. I was shocked to see Mark standing there, his expression unreadable. I glanced over his shoulder but didn’t see anyone looking our way.

 “May I come in.” he asked,

 I stepped back, trying to think of why he would feel the need to talk to me in private. We didn’t really have that kind of thing going. Just social media squabbling and sneaking around each other on set.

 Mark wrapped his arms around me and pushed me back until my back was up against the trailer’s refrigerator. There was a smile on his face that i hadn’t seen him use before. I imagined it was his real smile, a wide and gentle kind of thing that lit up his whole face and made me feel butterflies in the pit of my stomach. He leaned down, kissing me on the nose.

 “Are you okay after all that,” he asked me.

 “Are you checking up on me,” I shot back, still thrown a little off balance that he was here, holding me as if we had been lovers for a long time. I still hadn’t got use to the feeling of his body pressed against mine yet. And, before I could stop myself, I became aware that i was rubbing myself against him in a fair imitation of what we had done before.

 “Someone has to. When was the last time you trusted anybody? Really trusted somebody.”

 “Not any of your business,” I told him, but my arms were still wrapped around him. I didn’t want him to leave. Nothing made much sense to me just then, but I did see that part clearly.

 “I want to be that person. You just have to let me in.”

 Mark kissed me again. But this time there was a slow seduction to his movements and every once in a while he would stop and stare into my eyes as if asking if what he was doing was alright with me. I felt emboldened by his gentleness, letting my hands run through his hair and over his body beneath his white button up shirt. I pushed against his chest and moved us both towards the bedroom in back, I wanted to get him in bed as fast as I could. And I made sure we ditched our clothes along the way, too.

 “You're so beautiful,” Mark tells me, kissing his way along my naked skin. I fall back upon the bed and he spreads my legs, leaning his tall frame down to lick and suck on my wet pussy. I cried out, arching my back and digging my nails into his soft blond hair. I moaned his name as he worked on my swollen clit with his clever tongue, bringing me to an intense peak under his mouth in a short period of time.

 “I need you,” I told him, urging him to get on top of me. I wanted to feel him ride my pussy and make me feel as good as he had made me feel with his mouth.

 Mark followed me up further on the bed, smiling when I held my legs open for him and moaned impatiently. He plunged his tongue into my mouth at the same time he thrust himself inside of me. My body went rigid for a minute as the feeling of being stretched out and filled enveloped me a sensation that was somewhere between pleasure and pain. Then it was replaced with sheer ecstasy as he began to move inside of me, rocking against me in steady but ever quickening thrusts. He kissed my neck, my face and chest, moaning my name like some sort of mantra. His fingers gently removed my nipple coverings so he could suck on each nipple in turn. I smiled, biting my lower lip as I felt my second orgasm coming from somewhere deep inside of me. I it had ever been this good for me before with a lover, I couldn’t remember it. This felt like something new to me. As if I was experiencing sex for the first time.

 “Fuck, yeah,” I heard Mark moan over me, his eyes were partly closed and his head was back a little, lost in the feeling of his impending orgasm. Looking at how beautiful and unguarded he looked in that moment, the calm and confident man I was use to replaced by this animalistic being consumed by his own sensations, pushed me over the edge. I bit him hard on the shoulder as I lost myself in the same explosion of pleasure that was consuming him, The sensation of being filled with his warm come mingled with the sound of him breathing heavily against my neck. I kissed the place where I had bitten him, wrapping my legs tightly around him to hold him in as long as I could. He just seemed to keep filling me up, my hand stroking his back as he continued to empty himself inside of me.

 “We’ll be needed back on set soon,” Mark tells me a few minutes later as we lay wrapped up together beneath the covers, his arm cradling my head.

 “You know, I think I changed my mind about wanting you to be killed off quick,” I tell him, kissing him on the chest.

 “Oh? And what made you change your mind?”

 “Seems I finally found something your good at.”

 “I’m good at a lot of things.”

 I smiled at him mischievously. “Prove it.”  

[soapy0-0]

(1)Hey I just want to say that I’ve never been so thoroughly fucked up as I was reading blue hydrangea. I usually steer clear from angsty fics. I literally can’t handle them. I can’t hang at all but sometimes I fall into traps. Such as your fic. Fyeff posted it and I was like sure let’s read it and I saw angst in the tags but I didn’t think it’d be like the WHOLE ASS fic and i love children fics and so I fell too deep into it to turn back and I spent all of yesterday crying like a little bitch.

(2) and anyway it was just a beautiful fic dude. Like everyonce in a while (not at all often enough frankly) I read a fic that makes me think of nothing but it for days. It fucks me up. I fall deep into the universe and I just can’t get out - it hurts. Finishing such books/fics whatever is literally like breaking up with someone you’re in love with. And yeah I’m hurting but your writing is spectacular and I’m glad I got the opportunity to read something so breathtaking. Also you COULD HAVE (3) made Eren and Levi’s childhood and them getting separated like all one chapter, just the first chapter. Ive seen it before. But you didn’t. You didn’t skip through (much of) anything and I really appreciate it. Like it was only 180K and 27 chapters but I literally feel like I was there Levi’s whole fucking life and it hurts but it was also wonderful to experience it all. I also love how some of the couples had babies before they were married and some didn’t, very genuine and sweet. (4) Lol sorry for saying so much but my heart is aching lol I also love the pairings you wrote, their dynamics fit so well and it was lovely to watch everyone fall in love. I especially love the contrast between erwin/mikes love and Levi/erens. Levi and Eren went through SO FUCKING MUCH but Erwin and mike didn’t and I strongly believe they all strongly love each other and idk Levi and erens story was wonderful to go through but I related to mike and Erwin’s more in terms of my own love irl lol 

…

Wow.

I was at work, watching this come in, and I was so overwhelmed. In a very good way. 

Omg! Please don’t apologize for saying so much! This was wonderful!! I barely even know what to say! But I’m going to try!

The fact that angsty fics are not your thing and you read this anyway is amazing, I’m going to take that as a huge compliment! Really sorry it fucked you up though (even if that’s kinda what I was going for lol)

I know exactly what you mean about the stories that stuck with you, I’ve read things before that I just don’t know what to do with myself when it’s over, it feels like something is missing. To hear that about my own work? For you to call it breathtaking? I’m at a loss for words.

What are words? I’m not good at them

I was actually a bit nervous about the slow build at first, especially since there were 3 chapters without Eren in them. I was afraid it was going too slow and people wouldn’t like it (One person didn’t, I received a negative comment. oops!)

But I was working hard on it, I didn’t want to rush it or gloss over characters like I had in my previous works, and I do feel like it helped me grow as a writer. I’m so happy that it turned out as I had hoped and you felt so connected to Levi and the story.

I was going for a realistic kind of thing, with the mixed up relationships, the things they were going through, and the different stages of life happening at different times for the different couple. I’m glad you enjoyed that too!

I absolutely adore Erwin and Mike. I really liked them before I began writing this and I paired them together before, but I don’t know, writing their relationship in this made me fall in love with them even more.

You don’t need to work through hardships, conflict, and misunderstandings to have a strong love, their relationship was so normal and easy compared to Levi and Eren’s but their love for each other was definitely just as strong!

I also relate to theirs more irl, but it’s always fun to read about the conflict lol.

Thank you so much for your absolutely wonderful messages. They made my day and I was fighting back tears as I read them.   

You are a wonderful person and I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!

[ahiddenpath]

Digimon Adventure Tri Stage Play Reaction

Guys, this is not an analysis: this is my feels and obnoxious comments while viewing the stage play.  My initial goal was to use these notes to make an analysis, but they’re too funny/stupid/wow to hide from the world.  I typed these notes in real time, stopping the play whenever I had a thought.  It’s the closest I can get to having you watch me watch the stage play without using videos.  I will write an actual meaningful post soon, but for now, have a confused and jumpy/unpolished blob of feels.

The other thing I want to say is that I didn’t edit this after I wrote it, except for surface editing (grammar, spelling) and clarifications (mostly adding more names).  So if I formed an impression at some point, that’s what I really thought in that moment; I didn’t go back and change it.

That said: this will completely and totally spoil the stage play.  SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!  Read on below the cut (if you dare; it’s almost 4K words long and full of images).

Hidden’s Digimon Adventure Tri Stage Play Reaction

I am immediately not buying that Mimi wouldn't want to camp in the bungalow.  Isn't this the kid that went to Tokyo Tower instead of patrolling Tokyo because the tower has AC?  I guarantee she'd whine an hour in about wanting the bungalow, but wouldn't allow Koushiro to point out that she made this choice for all of them x__x

 Did Mimi just... just throw the laptop?  How bratty can you get?  I... wow, I really hope they don’t treat my Mimi so poorly the whole play.

From Sora's speech, I can see that nostalgia will be a major theme here, which, to be fair, is appropriate, lol!  Nostalgia is pretty much why we’re here.

TAICHI! It’s so good to see you get your big bro on again, lol???  Hikari:  "I'm not a kid who needs to wait for you to walk home with me."

 Taichi: "What?  Why not?  WHAT'S WRONG?!  CONFIDE IN ME!"  He’s so aggressive and clumsy about it, lol??

Taichi:  "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A STUBBORN BLOCKHEAD."

Jyou, amiably: "You, of course! Wait-"  I'm like 15 minutes in and I have already decided that Jyou is my favorite (not surprising lol).

Jyou:  "YOU ARE IN DANGER, TAICHI.  I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU STUDY."  Oh lord, Jyou is bashing Taichi with the stone of foreboding. Is Jyou okay?  Is he quite sane?  He isn't, is he.  Do you see that gleam in his eye?  No, no. He is gone and gone indeed.  Jyou’s actor is A+++

Annnnnnd oh hey, it's Yamyams doin' jamjams!  I can dig that bass, is he actually playing?  Oh hey, he's gonna sing for real, he's-  Oh my god, stop!  ABORT! He's terrible, hahahaha?!?!?!  IT BURRRRNSSS!!!  

OH MY GOD HIS BAND HATES THE BAND NAME AND THEY'RE SPEAKING TO HIM IN FRENCH WHAT IS THIS

Wait wow what is this weird ass vibe between the bros?  Teeks is accusing Yams of not visiting...  Did Yamato have that habit to start with?  Hmm...

So Takeru says, "I don't want to see us go our different ways."  I've mentioned it over and over, but this feeling is so important to me.  It's something I want to write an entire fic around.  On the one hand, it's such an easy topic, given the subject material. On the other, it's where my brain keeps going.  So... Let's see what happens!

Also:  Takeru:  "Stay hidden, Patamon!" *puts Patamon on his head and skips offstage* Takeru, sigh...

OH SHIT IT'S ETEMON, saying Taichiiiiihehehehe like a creep ass creeper.  He done got beef, too.

Annnnd we cut to everyone reacting because Mimi has no supplies (did you all not bring any?). What I like here, though, is that Jyou can at least talk to her without getting shut down.  Poor Kou-chan -__-

Koushiro: "We're amateurs, is there anything we should watch out for?"  OH I DUNNO, MAYBE ETEMON IN A HAT AND A VEST god damn I know this is supposed to be funny, but they all look like idiots- 

Koushiro: "That old man had a feminine way of speaking"  Says the dude being portrayed by a male actor FOR THE FIRST TIME-

Koushiro: "Taichi-san, you're the closest thing to a caveman we have-"  Ah, bless.

(At this point, my husband is pointing out while playing Destiny that the puppeteers do really good digimon voices, and I'm explaining that the digimon voices are pre-recorded, lol).

ANNNNND Mimi is whining for supplies that she forbade people to bring.  I am shocked.

Jyou is talking about how he wants to help digimon by being a doctor, by saving and protecting, and my heart is growing three sizes.  Best Chosen, y'all.

But oof, the atmosphere got so heavy...  Why do these kids refuse to talk about what they want to do???  Jyou remains refreshing.  Also, I'm just noticing how Koushiro turns his entire body around every single time towards whoever is talking?  He leans in, too.  It's both cute and unexpected (I would expect much more reserved body language, but I get that this is a play and that's what you do).

HAH!  Only Jyou can see the shooting star because he's the only one with his shit together!  I love that, lol!  (Also, is that really Tailmon's voice actress?  Hmm...)

NO, ETEMON HAS KOU-CHAN, BAD TOUCH, BAD TOUCH although really it's painful that we're still pretending they can't recognize Etemon.

Koushiro can't read the room...  Well, at least that's familiar, lol!

(At this point, my husband is asking what I think, and I'm stuttering over how annoyed I am at the ‘not-recognizing-Etemon’ gag.  My husband is laughing at me and saying I'm at a loss for words. Thanks, love.)

HOLY SHIT did Hikari and Mimi just use the tired "scary stories" trope to bring up the Dark Ocean? I'll give 'em points for that.  I AM INTRIGUED, let's go!!!  Oh.  Oh, they broke it off.  They're not doing anything with it.  That's... sigh.  Thanks, guys. (Caterpillar Sleeping Bag Mimi is cute AF tho).

Hmm, right now I'm thinking that Mimi's actress is so lovely and so lively and really feels like Mimi, but...  I also can't stand how they wrote her so far.  Throwing Koushiro's computer, talking over him, not allowing him to point out when she's contradicting herself, immediately requesting the supplies she forbade people to bring...  This stuff annoyed me in Adventure, but she was 10 and in a situation I would have strongly struggled to handle.  But now she's literally...  Making problems for everyone...  For nostalgia's sake...  At age 16? I'm so torn, lol, because the acting is so good but ahhhhh...  Let's see how this develops...

Hmm hmm, I'm listening to Sora talk about how she doesn't wanna grow up, either... Darling, you're already quite grown up, lol!  Lovely lady. I love how the digimon puppeteers echo their puppets, I can't get enough of watching Agumon's puppet and performer while Sora speaks.  They really did a great job!

I think I'm about an hour into this, maybe a little less?  45 minutes?  So far all that's really happened is that we've established that the characters want to be together as Chosen Children, and that with the exception of Jyou, they aren't emotionally or mentally prepared to seriously think of a future beyond that.  I'll be the first to say that this a compelling and interesting topic, and it's something I've wondered about for them, but...  Shouldn't... more things... have happened by now?  Hmm...  I understood that this would be an issue from Sora's very first bit of dialogue.  No one in the audience needs this much expansion and repetition, particularly with so few new ideas and so little momentum so far.  Tri is intended as a love letter for fans of Adventure, yes?  Mostly adult fans?  We don’t need this much repetition to understand, we truly don’t...

Ah!  Now Yamato is talking about Jyou and how to become an adult, finally dropping some new ideas in.  Love ya, Yams.  And ahh, man, Taichi is just... screaming all of his lines?  The actor is so sweet and cute, but the delivery...  I'm pretty sure it's supposed to reflect that Taichi is putting up fronts like nobody's bidness, though.  Yamato ain't buyin' it (Yamato is Almost Best).  I really want him to grunt, "Tell the truth or shut up." XD XD  GRUNT GRUNT.

 Augh, god, I can't take this tho?  Literally EVERY TIME someone tries to say something that will move the plot forward or inject some vulnerability into this play (except for Papa Jyou), they change the subject.  I'm about halfway through now and this has to be at least the 10th time we've been blocked from useful information and deeper thoughts with this method.  Tri suffers from this same issue, though...  Their plot is such that they can’t sustain tension if issues are faced in a natural way, so they CHANGE THE SUBJECT or DROP A LEAD or IGNORE A LEAD, etc, etc.  Here it's mostly saying, "Well what about you?" or screaming someone else's name, which...  Subtle???  Ah, Taichi's latest method of not saying anything is to ask Yamato to play his harmonica...  Oh my god, he's playing Walk on the Edge!  Okay, okay, you got me, stage play.  Hahaha, I remember Yams being better at playing a harmonica, tho!!!!  (I keep picking on this poor dude who is asked to do all of the awesome shit Yams can do, sorry my dude).

Taichi:  Should we sleep?

Yamato:  Let's talk some more.

Taichi: (shit!  fuck!  He remembered I'm dodging-)  YES BECAUSE HE ISN'T AN IDIOT EXCEPT WHEN ETEMON IS ONSTAGE OMG SOMEONE HELP ME-

Ahhh, and they fade out...  With no forward movement.  THANKS.  I mean we established mood, touched on Taichi/Yamato’s relationship, and set up the problems that will be address later (I assume), but...  It’s so drawn out...  

And now Koushiro is drawing on the ground with a stick, bless you, are you trying to compute something? Sigh...  Ah, bless, Tentomon is intervening, haha! 

But...  As right as Ten-chan is, he's also... Wrong? XD  DON'T TELL YOUR FORWARD MOVEMENT MACHINE TO POWER DOWN!!!  Annnnd yes!  We're an hour in and SOMETHING IS HAPPENING!  I am so ready for something to happen. (Tony: "Can we handle the stimulation, though?")

Oh god, the kids freaking out over their partners acting weird, Gabumon's stage hand collapsing... God, right in the feels, I'm almost mad about how easy it is to get an emotional response this way, lol!  We just love our babies too much, lol!

Wow, Yamato lost it at Kou-chan...  You know, we think of Taichi as carrying a lot of pressure (and rightfully so), but Koushiro carries just as much, as we saw in Kokuhaku.  He's not magic, Yams, he needs his tools, and he doesn't have 'em. Related:  Although I don't much care for how it happened, I definitely would love to read/write/see a story where Koushiro has no computer and has to adapt, though.  I'd also love to see one where a new tech wizard appears and he questions his role, but that's a whole' nother thing.

EWW OH MY GOD DON'T UNDRESS ETEMON MIMI WHAT THE HELL, bleeeeehhhhhhh...  Oh god, he thought his outfit was obvious...  Well, you see Etemon, somewhere in the last 6 years, the kids completely lost their ability to read situations x__x  (I get that this is a joke, I really do?  But???)

 Oh huh, so they're claiming Etemon wandered the Dark Ocean for 100 years?  Didn't he...  Come back in Adventure as MetalEtemon?  Is he referencing his second defeat?  ?????

OH GOD POWER RANGER ETEMON WHAT IS HAPPENING.  Haha it's kind of cute that he's like, "Eh I don't know these two (Hikari and Tailmon).  I don't think Metaletemon saw them?  But honestly I don't remember.  I think he was around Jyou and Mimi mostly?

Wait shit are we seriously doing the actual conflict part WITHOUT JYOU AND GOMAMON?  I am so mad right now.  I kind of feel like they'll burst in at some point???  I hope...

...Etemon has a song and dance number.  I am rolling on the floor in pain with the Chosen.  I'm doing it, guruguru mawaru-  No, NO, YOU PUT TAICHI DOWN-  Goddamit how many bad touch jokes do I have to make-

 OH THANK GOD, is Jyou coming back?  THANK YOU DIGI JESUS!  (Tony: "Wait is your favorite back? Did he leave?  It sounded like he wandered off and now he's wandering back in again."

Gomamon: "YOU'RE BEING GROSS JYOU" honey, oh child, you ain't seen nothing yet.  Oh bless him, he's so happy, can we just watch Jyou bounce around in joy please and no more singing power ranger monkeys?  I take back my complaints about nothing happening, haaaaaaaaaaaalp me Senpaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiii

Oh lord Etemon's back WHELP.  Oh shit, oh shit that Obon joke, THAT'S THE BEST JOKE IN THIS PLAY, isn’t it?  We can't beat that.  Should I... leave?

Taichi, in Etemon's gross ass digital Wonder Land:  "What's wrong, Hikari?"  WHAT'S WRONG?!  WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE-

(My husband has informed me that I'm growling.  He tells me that, when we were watching Gravity Falls and Mabel tries to tempt Dipper and the others to stay in the perfect imaginary world Bill made for her, I said, "What is she, Satan?  Tempting them to stay here in comfort instead of facing danger to save everyone?"  This is a similar scenario, and it's one of the few things I didn't like about Gravity Falls and OH NO, TAICHI IS THE MABEL OF THIS SITUATION, HELP!!!!  Oh thank goodness, Taichi's done with this too, whew, okay, okay, breathe, stop growling).

Oh God, the Agumon puppet looks dead without the puppeteer, that's actually really awful? These puppets are amazing, guys.  I cannot say enough good stuff about the execution with these puppets.

Hmm, Taichi just begged for mercy, and Etemon is unimpressed...  Reminds me of the fandom after Saikai.  I wonder where they'll take this...

HOLY SHIT Taichi is losing his shit!  I won't say that all of that stammering and dodging earlier is accounted for here, since most of the characters did it to some degree, but it's nice to see the payoff within the same piece (instead of waiting months for the next Tri film and forming your own conclusions in that time period).  I'm actually happy to see a screaming breakdown like this...

Man Koushiro speaks SO QUICKLY, dude, slow it down!!!  Ahhh, he says that we're granted whatever we want here, so Etemon is probably trying to trick us by having us hear Jyou.  SOMEONE IS THINKING USING THEIR BRAINSSS I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!

JYOU IS HEREEEE TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAYYY THE NEW DIGI JESUS, JYOUUUUUU!!!  (And while I 100% agree that you should be cautious, Kou-chan, c'mon, he arrived saying that you made his phone go off on the train and it made him feel awkward, that's pretty much proof that it's Jyou, lol!).  OH AND NOW KOU AND YAMS ARE ROASTING JYOU, classic.

Koushiro finally takes a stab directly at the heart of this...  It's not even about being children and avoiding adulthood; it's about not wanting to leave August 1st.  I realize exposition is Kou's job, but I didn't expect him to be the one to lay it out after all of this dodging.  I’ll be honest, I’m so pleased with Koushiro in this stage play so far?  I love how he moves, I love how quickly he speaks, I love that he’s able to come out and say this.  I wasn’t into the way the play used him spouting off numbers to indicate intelligence, but that’s a nitpick compared to the ground they gave Koushiro here.  

JYOU.  JYOU.  EVEN IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, KOUSHIRO, I BELIEVE IN YOU.  He continues to be THE BEST, I am in awe, I bow before Jyou.

OH MAN is Jyou gonna work his awkward magic on Yams?  Where's my freakin' popcorn.  Oh, well, hell.  Yama said he... doesn't wanna talk.  *rubs forehead*  Great. Entertaining.  THIS IS FUN I AM HAVING FUN *curls up and cries*

Okay so now Taichi is freaking out and Koushiro is trying to talk to him (roughly 70% of this stage play is someone trying and failing to talk to someone else).  But I really like what Taichi says here- "I have nothing to hesitate about." We all know this isn't true; Taichi is hesitating all over the place right now.  Let's see where this goes!  (Please let it go somewhere this time, lord above).  WAIT- WAIT-  ARE YOU SHOWING ME KOUSHIRO POINTING FINGERS AT TAICHI'S BULLSHIT AND SAYING "I'VE BEEN BY YOUR SIDE FOR SIX YEARS!!" AND THEN CUTTING AWAY?!?!??!?!?!?!?  RAAAAAAAHHHH is this an aneurysm?  I think this is what an aneurysm feels like.  You can't drop lines that good and then CUT AWAY FROM IT GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN-

Sigh, tsk, groan. Hikari, Teeks.  Whacho got for me?  Whoa, I swear Takeru has been a second away from sobbing ever since Etemon revealed himself.  You... you okay, buddy?  Can I, uh, get you anything?  I love how much Hikari has her shit together in contrast.  Oh, and Takeru is about to say something usefu- ohhh, another cut. God, I have a headache.

Hmm, Sora and Meems are cracking, too...  Sora says, "It was simpler when I was everyone's mom.  It's not like me to decide on someone or something."  I really need to hear Mulan's Reflections in the background right now...

Mimi saying "I want to do SO many things!" is refreshing my soul.  I know she's one of the most shippable Chosen, but honestly, if not for the fact that she has a kid that is clearly biologically hers, I would assume that she's too busy doing EVERYTHING to have a family.  My headache recedes just a touch.

Hmm...  I actually really like what Sulky (Yams) is trying to say here.  "I don't want to be with everyone because I'm Chosen.  I want to be with Gabumon because he's my friend," basically.  Part of me sides with Jyou- dude we all get that, it's not a shameful secret- but another part of me...  Deeply appreciates that Yams can separate his duty as a Chosen from his bond with his digimon.  Gabumon is his best friend, his number one.  It doesn't matter if Gabumon can't fight, if Yamato can never digivolve him again. It doesn't even matter that he's a digimon.  It just matters that they're friends, and that they be together somehow, which may seem a more tenuous position by the day.  ...Now I'm sad.  Well played, stage play.  This moment is wonderful.

...Annnnnnd now Yamato is overacting to hell, and I'm laughing instead of thinking and feeling, was that supposed to happen?  Sigh. I still don't understand why he has to be SO SECRETIVE about it, but I mean...  That's our Yams??? 

And now we're back to Kou and Taichi, and they're pulling at each other's throats, as they will, and honestly this is the only "NOW KISS" moment for me, but where was I-

In all seriousness, I really like that the person to finally, FINALLY get the truth from Taichi is Koushiro.  That's how it often was in Adventure too, yes?  But I almost feel like Taichi's breakdown here is a reflection of what fans said in Saikai.  Taichi in Adventure always took action (although he grew so much during Adventure, I'd argue the version of himself he's referencing now wasn't there by the end of Adventure?). He can't fight in Saikai because he's concerned about hurting people/property/the tenuous relationship between humans and digimon.  He can't take action...  But the ability to see that is an indication of growth, not regression.  Will he understand that here?  

Ok god, Agu-chan is dropping some truth bombs...  And the way he and his puppeteer crawl...  I swear these goddamm puppets will be the death of me.

Agu-chan, can you do me a solid and STAMP THIS ALL OVER EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE KIDS PLEASE AND THANK YOU?!

HOLY SHIT IS THAT A METALGRAYMON PUPPET?!  THEY HAD THAT SHIT ALL ALONG AND THEY BRING IT OUT WITH 20 MINUTES LEFT?!  WHAT WOT WOOOOT?!??!  I cannot believe I'm seeing this.  And I love how heavy and cumbersome the huge puppet feels.  Like, I always felt like Metalgreymon would be huge and slow, right?

Etemon, I was done with your shit a LONG time ago...

WAIT he is admitting that he was Metaletemon previously. So... when... exactly did he fall into the Dark Ocean?  Sigh. This is one of those "Let it go, Hidden" things, isn't it.  Uh, wow, I am totally unfamiliar with Kingetemon.  That's... a... thing.  

The use of screens and images in the stage play are really fun!  It must have been awesome to see this show in person O__o;;

OH SHIT, Yamato arrives in a cloud of smoke, that's how you KNOW shit is gonna go down!

OH MY GOD OMEGAMON ONLY GETS A HEAD OH MY GOD I'M DYING (Tony:  "HEY do you know how big that thing's supposed to be?!)

KOUSHIRO IS WEARING THE GOGGLES I'm down.  HIDDEN IS DOWN!  REVIEWER DOWN!!!!

HOLY SHIT JYOU'S "A" ON HIS MOCK TEST WASN'T REAL okay this is also a Good Joke, I applaud. Also I am LOVING sassy Koushiro in this? His way of being sassy is to do it in a way where you're not quite sure if he is trying to be a butt or not, which is 10000000% yes lol (In contrast, Izzy is intentionally awful usually lol).

Annnnd I was right from the start; Jyou is carrying this entire thing, lol.  Oh my god, the delivery on this?!?!??!  AMAZING.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. LAUGHTER.  THEME SONG.  DRAMATIC POSE.  I THINK THIS IS THE END SHOT YOU GUYS.

 Now the actors are coming out to speak!

THIS.  LITTLE.  SHIT. I love him?  I...  I love him. The snark is strong in this one. I... he is so... so beautiful.  I...  I think I might be in love?  (This at least indicates that I wasn’t alone in thinking the computer toss was too much???).

YAMATO’S ACTOR JUST SAID "DON'T SAY GOODBYE," Well played, son.  I like the cut of your jib.

 AHHHHH OKAY OKAY I have no idea how I’m going to analyze this.  My surface thought is that this play features a lot of the emotions and inner thoughts of individual characters that can’t fit into Tri, and that (I personally think) Tri suffers from a lack of.  Because there isn’t really ship bait and maneuvering around a new character and plot, we’re able to see relationships that feel much more familiar to Adventure than we often see in Tri (ie, Taichi worried about Hikari, Koushiro worried about Taichi, etc).  As you noticed, I’m very unhappy with the way the play pushes the payoff back as far as possible, cramming it into an AMAZING twenty minutes or so...  But I loved those twenty minutes.

Also, Koushiro feels waaaay more like Koushiro than he does in Tri, except for Kokuhaku.  As your local insane Koushiro fan girl, I am standing and applauding and screaming and crying.  NO PERVY KOUSHIRO.  NO FASHION DISASTERS.  Just Koushiro being supportive and apt and sweet and trying so hard.  I am refreshed.  I am younger.

And the passion and love and energy that went into us, so visibly in human form...  I can’t describe how wonderful the actors and the puppeteers were.  And even though I kind of hated Etemon, his actor was incredible.

So the stage play has amazing points and really irritating points, but on the whole, it’s my second favorite thing Tri has given us (following Kokuhaku).  I will try to write about it more smart-like soon!  If you got this far...  I’m in awe, lol!  High five, my friend!