#I’M NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME LADS!!!!!
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Tempted to return
#save game; ooc.#//there are murmurs of an irl campaign#//and I’m so excited for it#//gonna bust out a different version of the lad#//and have a good old time
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#lads my job has put out an ad for a full-time librarian position#I’m nervousssssss#but I’m gonna applyyyyyyyyyyyy#PRAYERS#several coworkers + my bos have mentioned me to the recruiter#so is there a chance mayhaps 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣#don’t wanna jinx it but I feel good abt this
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RE: your list of the Pack members
Can’t help but notice… Nigel is a former member? What happens w/him? 👀
I got based off of a fic I’ve read as much as I want Nigel to be chilling in retirement, that story has been rotating in my head (Sorry Nigel, you were a good guy) slight spoilers for the fic if that’s alright:
Nigel came around the 60s being one of the machines owned by Mr. Packard. He was only there for about 6 years until he crashed and was severely damaged thanks to the fog. Since he was old, his engine couldn’t take it so it was instant.
Though he’s more of a guardian angel instead of a vengeful spirit, often doing his best to warn others about the dangers ahead in the fog since he doesn’t want them to suffer a similar fate as seen with his fellow Pack members. I’m quite fond of that so I had to implement it here somehow.
#ttte#ttte nigel#my ask#thank you for the ask!#it’s by j.tom on fanfiction I think they have a da it’s for their spooktober series first time I’ve seen someone’s used nigel#I loved it so much (rip nigel you were such a good lad) and I’ve seen other takes on him on Twitter but this story stayed with me#I’m just quite fond of the ghosts who constantly try to look out and warn others I like to think they made him a plaque in his honor
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Charlie Vickers:
The girlies on tumblr dot com and ao3: …uhhh, anyway, Sauron’s in love—
#it’s me#I’m girlies#the rings of power spoilers#charlie vickers#doesn’t know how to have a good time I guess#lololol#all in good fun!#Sauron x Galadriel#Galadriel x Sauron#bind yourself to me#have you heard of them lad?#have you heard of the dark lord and his queen??????
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I think if I had one good sloppy makeout session I’d be normal again
#being single for a while was very good and necessary for me after my last couple relationships#but I think I’m in a good spot mentally right now I have an actual real support group AND I know what red flags to be wary of now#it’s time for me to get laid again lads
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at some point you gotta wonder whether being tired 24/7 is just a depression thing or if it’s like. chronic fatigue. both. something else entirely. either way i don’t think this is normal
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can’t stop imagining scott holding his hand out to a disheveled henry and saying “let’s take ibuprofen together :)”
#creelarke#I don’t know WHY this is an image in my head#I just can only imagine their dynamic as like. scott just :) all the time while henry glares into ur soul#but scott’s like oh haha don’t worry he’s friendly :) he doesn’t bite :)#he sees henry all fucked up and murderous and is just like ‘oh my! somebody isn’t in a good mood! here. let’s fix that’#also it’s weird to call mr clarke scott but I feel like if I’m on a first name basis w henry then I have to be w scott too…….#also thinking abt scott learning who vecna is and rather than be horrified he’s just sad like#that’s my friend in there :( I wanna help him :(#sam u know what I’m talking about we were chatting about it briefly#having a normal one at work lads#i say things#stranger things //
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#coupled friends have a rly annoying habit of telling me to take a break from dating#girl I haven’t dated anyone in a year and a half#and I can count every individual date I’ve had since on one hand#and they were all so uncomfortable I’m just like . no thank u#it’s so weird cos my sex drive is the same but my desire to go out with anyone or sleep with anyone is at an all time low#I talk to my fwb almost every day but I’ve seen him only twice this year cos I legit just don’t care#he’s doing so much in the friend part of fwb and not getting many benefits bless him. good lad that one
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Okay I have spent all afternoon writing and I am essentially no closer really to being done with Parent Trap AU because it just got longer without being closer to a resolution but now I also have 2k of an im-in-my-blorbo-feelings-again Jamie Tartt + Touch fic so we’ll see where that goes !
#touch fic was inspired by everyone’s thoughts re: zava using touch as a power dynamic on Jamie specifically#and Jamie + Roy this season + Roy’s aggression#and Jamie in locker rooms and unexpected touch from the other lads#and just like. what is good for him and what is BAD for him.#and WHO is good for him and who is bad for him.#and also just some inner grappling of like. why he likes sex that’s a little bit mean. and why that can feel safe for him#while more neutral touch can sometimes feel Very Unsafe#but also about a general struggle to feel like a flesh and blood person in your own body. versus feeling too much like just a body. versus-#idk if I’m making sense 😭 but as you can see I have a lot of Feelings and I’ve been thinking about morning I had to get something typed LOL#I just think there are times Jamie HAS been bothered by people touching him this season#and times when he has not at all been bothered but people have made it about it that (like that Isaac scene)#also it’s kind of triggery and since this has been such a discourse ridden topic this season who knows if I’ll decide to post it BUT!#we’re seeing where it goes!!#writing#Jamie Tartt
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:/
#sorry to rant in the tags lads#but ive been feeling kind of shit lately#pretty boy is way too good for me and i spend all of my time waiting for him to realize it#like we live in the same building but he is actually friends with the people here!#but i have no friends#and i can’t talk to people#i’m not very likeable and idk why he likes me#but i’m sure he’ll get over it soon#idk maybe i should just break up with him#bc i can’t keep feeling this shit about myself all the time#but i don’t wanna break up with him#i just wish i was better#pretty boy
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IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! Everyone has to be nice to me today it’s the rule
#me#personal#not writing#I’m excited about this one lads#having a very good time despite being up at 3am for no discernible reason
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me gnawing on pollux like
#funny lil guy (gn) lurking in the back of my head#I miss him! i miss my funny lad#I miss the hyperfixation but it’s also like. i am on a hyperfixation#this is what I have to live with having known how retri ends for like. six months before anyone else#anyway I never said his ending but buckaroo is sitting real solid in the guilty reveal ortega rescue camp sjsjdjd#I can’t remember if Pollux is a voluntary reveal or if it just happens in the hospital#i never hammered out his real ending because I kept getting distracted by opening and closing gates sjdjdjdjd#which Pollux opens enough that it is Worriesome#not the max number but like. 3-4? maybe?#I remember a few being conditional and one was the blaze one#bc it skyrockets ur Chen sus and I didn’t know if I wanted that#no hey yeah I remember being more mad about blaze being a big snitch to Chen#so I never settled sjdjdjdjd#but I’m thinking about other Pollux’s too—vamp romance Pollux at times#more the reoccurring thought about Mason associating the smell of pollux’s blood with danger but also pollux’s prickly anger#that dog backed into a corner and growling anger#i was also sitting in infamous camp for a hot second#stuck between Pollux making weird music or pollux making sad girl (gn) music#like if bastille + mitski + daughter had a baby#toss in some glass animals for good measure
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Oatmeal :3
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Like, moving to a big city in September 2020 only to be locked in a house with 4 strangers and basically never see the light of day for nine months was 1) a terrible experience overall and 2) not a bad setup for a horror series of some sort, but also I am nostalgic for a few things from that time
#one of them obviously being minnie. i miss her every day and i hope she’s having a good time wherever she is now#i’m absolutely certain she’s found a different gang of hapless grad students to sit on and beg for tuna from. it’s what she excels at#second; smoking 🍃 on the front porch with my flatmates. or smoking out the attic window. honestly a quintessential grad school experience#third; the food. oh my god the food. the time i ordered bao buns and then got so high i forgot i ordered bao buns and then i remembered#my bao buns. i was so happy. i have never felt such a rush of love for any being as i did for myself in that moment#and the food was transcendent#fourth; grocery shopping was so good because the prices hadn’t gone up insanely yet and there was never anyone in the shop#fifth; movie nights with my flatmates. and watching random crap like classic who wants to be a millionaire and columbo and stuff#usually none of us were sober and one of us would order burgers#sixth; watching the across the street neighbours. there was this house of seven undergrads across from us; all lads; and they used to do#the weirdest shit. one time i spent a full ten minutes watching one of them take out the garbage and narrating everything he was doing#‘and here he is with more bottles… bottles again… jesus fucking christ how did they drink this much… rip to their liver… pizza boxes!#hey good for them for washing it down with something. ooh five black bin bags. intriguing’ but i swear to god it took Ages for him to take#it all out. i was like ‘i know there’s seven of them but how did they produce this much’#another time the one who had an afro despite being white and the one who was somewhat good looking had a dance party in their living room#while only wearing boxers. i was like ‘do they know we can see them?’ and the others were like ‘idk’ lol#idk where this is going. i was just thinking about it just now. i wouldn’t do all of that again honestly but i miss certain moments#and i hope everyone from that time who i’ve lost touch with is well. apart from sb. he can fuck off#personal
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I want to run away and be somewhere where it is difficult for anyone to find/reach me and be there for somewhere between 1 week to 1 month of almost complete isolation because I’m overwhelmed and burnt out and depressed and I’m too afraid to talk to my friends or message them back because I’m too tired from work that I’m not fun and eventually they’re gonna realize that I keep messing up and hurting them and they’re gonna leave me because I’m flopping so hard and eventually everyone is going to realize that I’m a terrible person for not centering their needs and they’re going to realize that I’m a terrible person and everyone who I care about is going to leave me so I might as well just disappear for a while doesn’t absence make the heart grow fonder
#trip report#Quinn said to me that it’s been hard loving me lately because I don’t love myself#but why would I love myself I’m a noxious weed I’m like black mold#I ruin everything#besides I’m not even really there#I’m just saying what I think others want to hear. if I speak my mind that’s not good no one would like that#and even then I’m not even good at that any more#I’ve curated my life to avoid saying the wrong thing (but I still do all the time)#can’t fucking do anything right can I#is it possible to just temporarily kms#I wanna SH but I can’t because ppl will be mad at me#she they is having a menty b this Saturday evening lads ignore me I’ll get my meds refilled eventually
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