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charlieslowartsies · 4 years

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Why do the bonnie models dislike eachother in your Au? And follow up question, do other animatronics have this sort of established relationship with other models of themselves?

Mentions of mental health, etc below

Bonnie models are heavily, HEAVILY influenced by actual rabbits. Rabbits are strange, fourth dimension little shits one moment and yet loyal and sweet-natured the next. They can hold grudges like a sponge holds water. I used to have a rabbit named Hiccup who would pee on my bed to ‘mix our scents’ and would revenge chew on a certain piece of furniture if I corrected him or WORSE: removed my sheets to wash them. Yet he knew that when he groomed me he could not nibble my ‘fur’ and so he would lick me, he also liked to make my bed every morning, patting it down so it was smoother, whereas most bunnies would make little tunnels and dig as is their instinct--not Hiccup, apparently, because he had watched me make my bed plenty of times. He was sassy, smart, shitty, and very loyal. You can see where the Bonnie model attitude came from in the knight guard au, which helped me grieve Hiccup’s loss when he died in 2018. Let’s move on to your question though:

Unfortunately, because the ‘first’ Bonnie model (Springbonnie/Springtrap) ended up being used as the killer’s suit, all Bonnie models thereafter (esp our purple boi) are very antagonistic because they feel let down and betrayed. Why didn’t Springtrap fight harder? Why did those kids have to die? How many lives would have been saved if Scraptrap had gone against his Suit more? Mike and Gold and the Marionette and the Crying Child argue sometimes, so what could be avoided? It’s sort of a comment on victim blaming and a discussion on why abusive relationships tend to go farther than they should and why others have a hard time understanding a dynamic. It is not healthy, Afton/Springtrap DO NOT have a healthy relationship and I do not condone their actions/Afton’s treatment of Springtrap.

It is not something Bonnie should do either, but he is hurting from their history and so he takes it out on the two he deems are the worst. He refuses to separate the two because his anger is clouding his better judgement. Bonnie is also programmed to mirror teenage behavior and relate with them, and he has also never lost his Freddy model, and one of the main themes for Last Shift (though it’s been mentioned before) is that “You can’t have a Bonnie without a Freddy!” The resulting combination of a teenagers cognitive response PLUS the reliance on a Freddy model PLUS the young girl that haunted Bonnie for years until Mike came around in Devil’s Spine means that Bonnie the bunny has made incorrect conclusions and has colored his relationship with Springtrap and other Bonnie models by association. (This is also not healthy, obv.)

In his mind, Springtrap is no better than William Afton. We have seen in a few flashbacks and sometimes from Mike’s words, that Springtrap is NOT very emotive and tends to lock down emotions to get through what he can--years of living with cruel, manipulative Afton has caused this. But the original Bonnie model is not a ‘villain’ in the sense that Afton is for you and I. Bonnie does not know what we know and until/if he learns more, he will continue to dislike Springtrap in the way that some siblings hate other siblings when they don’t protect them from past parental abuse. This hurt and past wounds are what mostly causes the problems among Bonnie models. Toy Bon was ‘programmed down cognitively’ and thus is not as mentally sound as what Bonnie is used to. To Bonnie, Toy Bon is annoying nuisance who won’t leave him alone. (Not unlike a teenager with a MUCH younger sibling.) For Mike, who knows he can’t force Bonnie to like Springtrap, and he can’t reprogram Toy Bon (Blue), he deems it better to just keep Bonnie models separate if possible. It can be hard to over come your own programming, and he also hasn’t had the chance, of course, to sit Bonnie and Springtrap down and make them work through things. Springtrap could not walk between Ghost Strings and Finding Freddy, and it is implied a few times in FF that any attempts to get the two to talk ended....poorly. Bonnie models are portrayed as jealous, or at the very least insecure which causes jealous responses. Nightmare Bonnie and Bonnie somewhat fixed this, during Ghost Strings when they both wanted to have Danny Fitzgerald’s attention but didn’t want to share.

Other model relationships:

Freddy models: Despite Freddy being the most possessive/protective over Mike, and despite his stubbornness on certain things, Freddy is mature enough to separate issues or at the very least, be civil. He has no problem with Fredbear/Golden Freddy--the old bear is, in Freddy’s mind, his only ‘boss’ and because Gold is essentially Mike, Freddy likes the ghostly fellow just fine. He has very little patience for Toy Fred, (Ted) and sees his love of video games as an immature trait when there are chores to be done first, but he doesn’t really care that much. He is not sure about Lefty, but is willing to allow the bear to be on stage if it will make Henry (and Mike) happy. He, as well as his band members, do not know about the Rockstars yet.

Chica models: Chica is liked by everyone, and this seems to make her like her sisters better. Toy Chica (Chi-chi) is very bubbly and despite her fear of the kitchens, (a fire alarm went off one time in the 80′s and scared her and Blue very bad, during Jeremy’s tenure.) she is willing to defer to her first model and serve food, so long as she doesn’t have to work in the kitchen. Nightmare Chica is the only model of the Chicas that doesn’t get along with anyone--but, c’mon. She’s a Nightmare. She likes Nightmare Bonnie and her Chompy-Cake, and that’s it.

Foxy models: Another mature and varied line that get along well. Foxy and Mangle are very close, and Foxy is very fond of his ‘first mate’ despite the fact Mike could never find coding that related the two. Foxy is Mangle’s security blanket, and she is the only Toy models aside from BB that the original four accepted into their ring/restaurant with little hesitation. (At some point, she gave Mike the scars he now carries, but she made up for her mistake by protecting Mike during Finding Freddy.) Nightmare Foxy, is has been established to be Alexander Afton, the older brother to the Crying Child/Circus Baby and younger brother to Michael Afton. He gets along well with his model copies, hence why he choose to be another Foxy even after he left the original one his father...stuffed him into.

Sorry this got rambly! I love the FNAF series, and I want my knight guard au always be horror. But I also want it to be found family and working through trauma etc, to keep it ‘realistic’ as I’d like. (Haunted animatronics and ghostly bears aside!)

#knight guard au #answered #mental health discussion #bonnie the bunny #bonnie models #ask to tag #Anonymous

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bregee13 · 5 years

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Wilfre in a Bottle AU INFO

Here’s some facts about the AU so I won't forget later. Also for anyone else to look at and ponder about.

I got a lot of bullet points soooo I’m going to try to divide them a little bit.

The Creator:

The player of the game and The Creator are different people. About everyone mistakes them for being the same being since the player actually draws things into existence (much like The Creator). But only The Creator can communicate with Raposa. The Creator also does things on their own at seemingly random (they do not discuss their plans w/ most Raposa nor the player).

Any time there is a narrator, it's usually from the player's perspective.

The Creator is a father figure for Drew. Drew even goes as far as to actually call them such.

Drew is extremely loyal to the creator, and will NEVER go against them.

Wilfre:

That unused dialog Wilfre was going to say at the end of the first game is canon in this AU. (heroname... I NEVER INTENDED FOR THIS TO HAPPEN... BUT IT'S TOO LATE... THE SHADOW HAS CONSUMED ME...)

Due to it consuming his body AND soul, Wilfre can never be rid of the shadow.

The Shadow keeps Wilfre "alive" (He is technically dead, but his body/soul is still active. Like a conscious zombie). And since it can never be separated from him, he can never be truly gone. Not as long as the world exists.

The Shadow is greatly tied to Wilfre's emotions. Whenever he's frustrated, angry, or just up to no good, the shadow that consumed him will flare up. If he feels sad, guilty, nervous, or happy, the shadow will recede.

The Shadow started consuming Wilfre's body when he first Drew in the book. Then over time it consumed his soul.

Being consumed by shadow doesn't necessarily excuse Wilfre's actions, as the shadow basically brought out Wilfre's deepest most dark thoughts and helped bring them to light. Wilfre has little to no impulse control because of this.

Because of Wilfre being technically dead, he doesn't need to eat or drink in order to survive (He CAN eat and drink if he wanted to. It tends to pass through him relatively quickly though, as his body doesn't need to absorb the nutrients). He doesn't even need clean air to breathe. However, he does get tired and does need to sleep sometimes.

Drew:

Drew is the one that prayed to the creator for Wilfre's survival (Thus kicking off the entire AU) but despite that, Wilfre is technically dead.

Drew is very self conscious about being able to help people. He feels morally required to help with about every single task asked of him. No matter how small or ridiculous.

Drew is also sensitive when it comes to injury or death. It makes him feel useless and unable to truly help others. Mari's remark to him after the Mayor's death really stuck with him. (Mari will eventually apologize to Drew once she realizes how much it affected him.)

Drew's face, much like the hero in the games, has an unchanging face. He cannot change it unless the Creator does so for him. At least that USED to be true. After the Creator left Wilfre to the Raposa Village, Drew began to gain some control over his facial expressions over time. This is shocking to both Drew and the Raposa.

After a certain amount of time without a specific goal, Drew will "Disappear" and revert back into a mannequin. If he isn't redrawn after a very long period of time, Drew will have trouble with his memory of past adventures.

The Bottle:

The bottle Wilfre is trapped in is completely indestructible. The only way to let Wilfre out is to take the cork out, which takes a lot of effort.

At first, nobody knew what to do with Wilfre. Nobody wanted him, so they took turns looking after him. They argued so much over who's turn it was, that they ended up placing Wilfre in the center of town.

Before the Bottle:

Wilfre initially did what he did in the first game to get rid of The Creator's creations and replace them with his own, making the world "better" in the process. He had no knowledge of Real Life at that time.

Wilfre first discovered Heather laying unconscious in a forest, with her head in a pool of shadow goo (giving her her shadow mark). Unsure what to do with her, he had her locked up in a shadow cage guarded by Frostwind.

Wilfre also discovered Mike hanging out with two little kids in the city. He naturally assumed Mike was associated with the kids, so he locked him up in the same general area as the kids. What Mike was remained a mystery to him for a while.

Heather:

Because of Heather's shadow mark, Wilfre is somewhat capable of reading her mind and controlling her actions when she's close enough. This is how he learns of Real Life, and where Heather and Mike came from.

Wilfre used his powers to prevent Heather from talking about Real Life or Mike to other people.

Heather was mute during the events of the first game due to shock of the events of Real Life and not being used to the Raposa world. Crazy Barks helped her gain the confidence to learn to speak again. Her bond with him allows her to understand his fast talking (which everyone else mistakes for barking).

Wilfre will conspire with Heather to let him out of the bottle. It won't be easy for Heather to let him out though.

When she lets Wilfre out, she won't be able to explain why she did it to anyone because of Wilfre. So she ends up getting into big trouble at one point. Partially inspired by this: http://fav.me/db4415y

Relationships:

Over several years, Wilfre finally begins to bond with the Raposa. It took a long time, but he and Jowee gain a really good friendship.

Over time, Wilfre begins to see Mari as a daughter of his.

After the events of the first game, Mari and Jowee enter a relationship together.

Wilfre did have a past relationship with Circi. While they technically didn't break up, they did take a long break from each other. Meaning Circi doesn't know what happened to Wilfre.

Circi however does know about Wilfre's ideas and plans to create a better world, and supports it.

Circi still has feelings for Wilfre, but Wilfre hasn't felt anything for her in a long time. So he really doesn't want to confront her because of this.

Wilfre in this AU is younger than the Mayor, but older than Mari and Jowee.

Wilfre not only used to be best friends with the Mayor, he also has a crush on him. This resulted in him growing extra salty at The Mayor and his wife. And extra upset when he remembers his murder.

The Wii Game:

Wilfre manages to escape from the bottle a little after Circi arrives. However this doesn't stop him from accidentally meeting her. She never gets to see Wilfre outside from his Shadow form.

Circi ends up getting corrupted by shadow by trying to embrace Wilfre. Since she hasn't been completely corrupted, she has better control of when she enters her shadow form. However, unlike Wilfre, she doesn't have much control over other shadows.

Circi, upon meeting Wilfre again, feels like the Wilfre she once knew was dead and gone. After finding Wilfre's lair, she finds his old diary and realizes she can remake Wilfre using the 5 artifacts. She also begins to produce shadow creatures using the ink factory, and command them along with the abandoned shadow beings in order to distract and confuse the other Raposa.

Since it had been a horribly long time since Circi saw Wilfre in his normal form, she had forgotten what he looked like. When she tries to draw him, she ends up drawing a bunch of shadow beings (Afterall, the Wilfre she last saw WAS a shadow being) that combined together into a giant beast that killed her. The handmade mannequin also came to life as a result of Circi's actions. Because it has no design to go off of, it went rouge.

The Next Chapter?:

After freeing himself from the bottle and the village, Wilfre discovers the scepter at the bottom of the sea along with the artifacts. He then discovers the scepter's power and begins TNC (DS).

There might be more but I can't think of anything right now. I might reblog with more info later. If you got any questions about the AU, or just wanna discuss it, feel free! In fact, I'd love to talk more about it!

Though keep in mind I'm still thinking about certain aspects of the AU, so yeah. (Especially TNC. I don’t have much planned out for that yet.) 😅

More info copied from Amino Wiki:

"An alternate universe where after the events of drawn to life, Wilfre is trapped in a giant bottle by the creator. Now he must get used to life in the Raposa village with Drew and the Raposa. That is... if they can get used to HIM. Wilfre may be deceased, but he is very passionate. His wild emotions often control not only his attitude, but the shadow that corrupts him as well. Luckily for the Raposa, all of the other shadows began to fade once Wilfre was defeated by Drew. Aside from Wilfre, there is no more shadow. ...Except for maybe a few at Wilfre's old lair, but we don't talk about that. I wonder... If Wilfre has control over shadows, does that mean he has some control over a certain raposa girl? ...nah, that's ridiculous."

#Drawn to Life #drawntolife #Wilfre In a Bottle AU #random #rambling #Drawn to Rambling #long post #drawn to life the next chapter #drawn to life wilfre

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the-zodiacs-written-in-the-stars · 5 years

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Chapter 23: Team Angel Fish

“Doctor Korrapati, it is a pleasure to put a face to the name.”

“Likewise, Mister Hancock.”

Savitri and Sander were smiling at each other as they shook hands and all Joss could do was stand next to them, watching them miserably. This was like out of a nightmare. His longtime crush and his girlfriend were shaking hands, all pleasant and nice. Naturally did Joss know they would meet at one point, considering both were prominent figures in Joss' life (at the very latest, Joss' birthday party, he supposed), yet he wished he could have delayed it all. And the circumstances of the meeting were quite less than stellar too. Aliens, superheroes, villains trying to take over the world (or at least Los Angeles). Before Joss could say anything, he was handed a glass of wine by Sonia, who rested a hand on his shoulder and steered him away from Sander and Savitri.

“Let them talk”, requested Sonia firmly.

“But why?”, asked Joss lost. “I already told Savitri most-”

“Yes, quite. Most”, agreed Sonia bemused. “Sander and I have a better understanding of the overall picture, all this... passing on of information like that... Sander is a good teacher, he will explain everything to her. I'd like to have a word with you though.”

“What about?”, inquired Joss curiously.

“You got your girlfriend involved, dear.”

“I'm... aware, Sonia?” Joss nodded, a little confused.

“I'm just... curious, my friend”, whispered Sonia gently, sitting down on the couch on the terrace, motioning for Joss to join her. “I've been well-aware of your... interest in Sander. I didn't quite expect you to turn up with a girlfriend, to be honest. And now you have gotten her involved in something bigger than you, me or anything here.”

“I... My crush on Sander is... just that”, grunted Joss stubbornly, glaring out into the garden. “My feelings for Savitri are genuine. And I didn't get her involved in this out of selfish reasons or anything. She is... one of the most honest and genuine people I have ever met, she is more than qualified for this responsibility because she won't use it for her own gain and she brings the care and attention that Libra needs after what he's been through with Carroll Lewis.”

“Mh”, grunted Sonia thoughtfully. “I just want to make sure that I'm not stuck in the middle of some classic, overused love-triangle, Joss. If you bring romance to the work-place, it tends to add unnecessary drama and I do think that what with the aliens trying to take over the world, we have enough drama going on.”

Furrowing her brows, Joss turned to look back inside. Savitri and Sander were sitting at the table, talking, Sander writing something down to explain it. Both were bent over, seemingly in deep, excited conversation. Joss couldn't deny the way his heart hammered in his chest at it and he couldn't quite pinpoint for whom that hammering was. They were both so... lovely? The way Savitri's thick curls fell over her shoulder, her fingers running through it absentmindedly in a cute habit Joss had been observing for a while now, whenever Savitri was deep in thought. The way Sander's glasses framed his sharp face, the smile pulling on his lips as it always did when he got to explain something – his passion for knowledge. As Joss watched them, he couldn't help but marvel at how they complimented each other. Sander, who loved to share knowledge, and Savitri, who was always so eager to soak up new knowledge.

~*~

Savitri adored Angel. The tiny blonde was an excitable ball of energy and joy; exactly Savitri's people, really. Pure sunshine and optimism. Also really very tiny. Then again, Savitri was a rather tall woman so it seemed even more prominent. Unlike most other short people Savitri had met, Angel didn't seem to quite mind comments about her height – the green-haired one however, she had bared her fangs and jumped up and down at Savitri's comment. Babs. Babara. That was the green-haired one – the cousin of Angel's boyfriend.

“Here's to teamwork!”, declared Angel, lifting her glass up high.

The four of them were at Angel and Sebastian's flat. Angelique Lamour, Sebastian Weinberg, Joss and Savitri. They were to be a team. It was odd, because Savitri felt like an afterthought. Sebastian and Angel were in a relationship, Angel was Joss' best friend and Joss was also close friends with Sebastian. Savitri was just the new girlfriend of Joss'.

“We will be one of the three teams then?”, asked Savitri softly before sipping her wine.

“Yeah. We got Team Lionheart – what an adorable name and quite fitting, considering that Scorpio and Leo started it out – as well as the... Unicorn Princess Squad, and I admit to enjoying the irritated looks on their faces at their own team name thanks to the press”, giggled Angel.

“What's our name?”, inquired Savitri curiously.

“That... is an excellent question”, hummed Sebastian thoughtfully.

“Lionheart's named for the two companions that shared a form and started out their team. We don't really have that, with an owl, a fish, an ibex and a jackal”, noted Joss with furrowed brows.

“Well, the... unfortunately named Unicorn Princess Squad is named for their leader's companion”, offered Sebastian after a moment. “Matteo's Sagittarius.”

“So... you proposing that we're... the Mermaid Goat Squad?”, asked Savitri with a grin.

“Mer--” Sebastian sputtered, nearly spilling his wine. “You, how dare you. A capricorn is not-”

“Mon amour, it is”, interrupted Angel, giggling and leaning into her boyfriend. “Capricorn is literally a goat with a mermaid tail. It's a mergoat.”

“First of all, he's an ibex, not just a regular goat”, grumbled Sebastian with a pout. “And second of all, I am not the leader of this team. I am the most involuntary participant of this team.”

“Aw, Bastien”, huffed Angel with a puppy-dog look.

“No, no. I do not want to fight, I do not want this mess, but most of all, I do not want to be responsible for it all”, argued Sebastian fiercely, shaking his head.

“Well then, any volunteers?”, asked Savitri looking around.

“I volunteer Angel”, offered Joss after a moment.

“...What?”, asked Angel, her eyebrows up in her hairline.

“You're the most enthusiastic, you're a very social creature, you are excellent at staying level-headed”, explained Joss. “You're good choice as leader, Angelique.”

Quietly, Angel stared at them, before she nodded slowly. “Okay. Sure. Yes. Why not.”

“And do you have a name-proposal?”, asked Savitri curiously.

“Mh... how about... Team Angel Fish?”, asked Angel with a mischievous smile.

“Wait that's a great pun!”, exclaimed Savitri excitedly.

“I kno—ow, right?!”, yelped Angel, high-fiving Savitri.

~*~

“Okay, let me recap this”, started Savitri slowly. “Sonia and Sander are in an on-again-off-again relationship, current status... off. He is the one you had... have... a crush on.”

Joss bit his lips and nodded sharply, cheeks feeling hot.

“The one in the tight leather-dress is Tanya, who used to date both James and Babara – not at the same time though. James also used to date Angel, who is now with Sebastian, who is Babara's cousin. Barbara is the green-haired one. Then there is James' sister Jessie, who is no one's ex. They're the ones with the freckles? You actually have not one but two billionaires though because Matteo di Girasole is part of this team. And his fiance Michael. And Michael's sister Melanie. Not only are both your bosses and a model from your agency part of this team, but also your friend the graphic designer, Elizabeth. How...?”

“How?”, echoed Joss confused, blinking a couple of times.

“I mean that I understand, Sander explained that every marble landed in the same spot – or roughly the same spot, some seemed to have gotten a little lost. But this... very interwoven group of people? Not the random drunkard in the corner, or the couple who happened to be on a date? I see that not everyone is connected with each other, but... there is so many connections?”

“You mean that we, or someone in the group at least, were specifically targeted?”, asked Joss. “We... have been considering the possibility, but honestly what... motive would there be? We're just normal people. Matteo maybe, but...”

“I don't know”, shrugged Savitri thoughtfully. “I mean, you can cross me, Angel and Sebastian off the list, considering that we were chosen differently.”

“Me too, because I was outside. The main group landed inside the pub”, noted Joss.

“And the pub, it... it belongs to the siblings, right?”, asked Savitri.

“James and Jessica”, nodded Joss. “So... those two...?”

Savitri shrugged. “Your guess is as good, if not better, than mine.”

~*~

“So what, you guys think that we're the targets?”, huffed Jessie amused.

She sat backward on her chair, arms crossed on the backrest. James was leaning against the bar, right next to her. The pub was still closed, though renovations were going rather well with the help of everyone. And what better time to bring up their theory than when everyone was together.

“Savitri suggested it the other day”, shrugged Joss, brushing her hair behind her ear. “It's as good a theory as any, since the gems came here, to the pub. And the pub is yours.”

��Do you... Do you think anyone could have it out for you?”, asked Mike.

He looked like a big, kicked puppy-dog as he stared at Jamie. It made Joss roll her eyes. Mike and Matt were so very obviously pining for Jamie that it was pathetic. However, Joss was not one with a right to judge, considering her own sad track-record. Still, looking at them made Joss understand why Sonia had taken her aside the other week and asked her if she was bringing any love-drama into this situation. It only complicated things unnecessarily.

“Why would we have enemies?”, asked Jessie incredulously.

Joss furrowed her brows as she watched the way James avoided eye-contact and didn't seem to have any input. This seemed like he was trying to hide something. She wondered what... and she wondered why Jessie didn't seem aware of this. Because Jessica seemed genuinely disturbed by the mere notion of it. Was Savitri's hunch right? Was there something in the Saint Johns' past that had led all of them to this situation...?

“Attacks have increased lately”, noted Lizzy after a moment of working in silence. “I think they're either not happy we took Libra from them, or they see us all gathering as the go-ahead for... whatever they are up to. That ominous 'they' is pissing me off.”

“We've been trailing Carroll Lewis to see if she can lead us to whoever is in charge of her, but so far, no luck”, shrugged Mike annoyed. “...Rick's getting super suspicious.”

Lizzy turned a little, looking guilty. Joss understood why; she was glad that she could share this with her girlfriend. Having to lie and hide such a huge thing from someone you loved? (Or liked a whole lot, because Joss wasn't ready to put the big l-one there just yet.)

“Just means we gotta take care of this fast”, declared Lizzy seriously.

Read here on AO3!

Previous Chapter <- || Masterpost || -> Next Chapter

#Own Story #Story: Written in the Stars #Project: Written in the Stars

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thesportssoundoff · 5 years

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“For Christmas I Want....” What the UFC needs per division in 2020

Joey

December 10th

Right around now the majority of us are desperately chasing down gift ideas and huddling our cash together to try and budget it out for the people we care about evenly. In MMA, December means that for one month we spend 31 days pretending that everything's going to be fine in MMA. That the sins of 2019 are gone and won't re-emerge in 2020 and we are about to embark on another insane run like 2015 or 2016. MMA's changing, growing and expanding and shrinking and evolving and degrading all at once around us and so as we embark upon what should be a hectic 2020, I wanted to take a light hearted approach at examining what 2020 will be. What would the UFC request that the MMA Gods give them in 2020? What are the divisions asking for on their Christmas lists? Let's run down what each division is secretly wishing for when we enter the next year of MMA stupidity.

Flyweight and Women's Featherweight- A bullet

Simply put, both of these divisions would probably be better suited if the UFC just put them out of their misery. 2019 started with a UFC flyweight roster rapidly approaching the single digits and a threat of TJ Dillashaw stepping in to kill the division outright. It ends with a roster of fighters still not too far off the single digits with a champion who seems disinterested in defending the title and clearly has the plans to move up to 135 lbs full time. The likelihood is that the flyweight division will get a title fight or two and then fade off into obscurity as there's no real prospects of note, Benavidez as champion has long lost any luster and the Cejudo good vibes are dead and buried. For women's featherweight, it was a golden carrot to get Cyborg to stop feuding with the organization that hired her. The Cyborg championship era lasted all of two fights and the Amanda Nunes run with the title is dead and/or bloated. Nunes having a token title defense vs Megan Anderson might appease some folks but there's been no development and no real sign of progress. Let these divisions go and let Bellator and Brave/ONE find stuff for them to do.

Men's Bantamweight- Some sizzle for this steak

The UFC's 135 lb division has been one of the more promising developments over the past few years. While it took a slight step backwards for me in 2019, I still think this division is among the best in MMA even if it ranks slightly behind 170 and 155 lbs. There's depth, new talent, a variety of names and faces and personalities and barring something unforseen 20120 figures to keep the pace overall. What it needs in 2020 is for this division to finally get an ROI on some big time names. Henry Cejudo is a promising potential draw at the lighter weight classes but I think he's still going to need help to reach the high end mark on his upside. That requires some names to step up and give him an assortment of fun new challenges. Dominick Cruz needs to get healthy because Cejudo vs Cruz verbally at least has some compelling appeal to it. Cody Garbrandt still has SOME name value and I think if he goes on a streak, we'll see an reset in terms of how fans view him. Jose Aldo and Urijah Faber need to find ways to win tough fights and maintain in the title picture because while I may not care for Cejudo/Aldo or Cejudo/Faber, there are fans who very clearly love these guys and would be absolutely up for seeing them try to capture the title from Cejudo. Guys like MArlon Moraes, Sean O'Malley and Petr Yan need to continue to develop new fanbases and keep up their stretch of exciting fights. This division has a lot of talent but it might need to get a bit greedy in search of some big money fights.

Featherweight- A definitive Max Holloway solution

The UFC spent most of 2018 having open discussions about whether or not Max Holloway was long for the 145 lb division. They talked a bunch about wanting him to move up due to intense weight cuts, saw him move up and then immediately bailed on the idea when he fought Dustin Poirier. My take is that Holloway is still probably destined for 155 lbs and one loss to Dustin Poirier (who is a naturally monstrous dude at 155 lbs) shouldn't deter them. If Max Holloway is hurting his long term health at 145 lbs but may be "too small" for 155 lbs then he'll just need to adapt to that and overcome that the same way Frankie Edgar has done for years. Figuring out what Holloway will be doing in 2020 will probably be aided by the Volkanovski fight but even if Alexander Volkanovski becomes the latest 145 lber to come up short vs Max Holloway, I'm still not convinced I need to see Max toiling at featherweight. As a bonus item or a stocking stuffer if ya will, it SURE would be nice to see the likes of Zabit, Yair Rodriguez, Shane Burgos and Calvin Kattar continue to clear out the 145 lbers who have been sort of lingering in the same spots since about 2016 or so.

Lightweight- For their stars to actually fight

Easy enough, right? The UFC's lightweight division revolves around three names; Conor McGregor, Khabib Nurmamegodov and Tony Ferguson. I'd almost argue that Tony Ferguson is a level behind Dustin Poirier drawing wise but I think at peak value, those three guys make this division hum and draw the big numbers. Not even playing the "these guys fight three times a year!" card, the UFC got two fights out of those three guys and one of those (Ferguson vs Cerrone) was a desperation heave at the last minute. If this division is going to go places then Khabib needs to fight more, Conor needs to stay out of trouble and Tony Ferguson needs to come close to resembling the pace he had in 2016 and 2017. Even accounting for Khabib taking time off for Ramadan, this division cannot exist with THIS much talent in it without more fights from those three guys. I guess you could even throw in Justin Gaethje who expects to sit out until the Tony vs Khabib fight happens. You can't have 4 of your top 5 guys not doing anything with so much talent to be tested up and down the rankings.

Welterweight- A break

The welterweight division is the world's dumbest MMA riddle. It sure seems to trumpet out a finish or a "What the fuck is happening?!" fight on a per show basis better than any other division out there. I mean off the top of my head you have Vicente Luque, Tim Means, Mike Perry, Elizeu Zaleski, Niko Price, Geoff Neal, Robbie Lawler, Jorge Masvidal, Santiago Ponzinibbio, Muslim Salikhov, Matt Brown and that doesn't even begin to account for some of the dudes I can't remember off the top of my head. This division is loaded with dudes who exist to hit each other in the head really hard over and over and over until somebody falls down. It's the world's cruelest division in terms of raw violence. Unfortunately at the top of the division, we've basically had the same 4-5 guys hogging up spots and they more often than not tend to bring us fights that fall on the wrong side of the entertainment scale. Even if you like Kamaru Usman, Leon Edwards, Tyron Woodley and Colby Covington, you have to admit you're probably exhausted by four dudes with similar styles and similarly cringy trash talk skills sucking up all the air and hype in this division. The UFC could really use a break from these folks in 2020. If Edwards/Woodley and Usman/Covington go off without a hitch, it'd be nice for us to get somebody new and fun in there just to allow us all the chance to mentally reset. Maybe that's Jorge Masvidal even!

Middleweight- More Israel Adesanya

The UFC has been very fortunate with the health of its breakout star of sorts. Since coming to the UFC at the start of 2018, Israel Adesanya has fought four times one year and three times the next. He's been busy and consistent and either healthy or healthy enough to always make the walk. With some much instability around him, the UFC really needs Adesanya to continue to take fights throughout 2020. If the goal is to do Adesanya vs Jones then he needs to have AT LEAST two fights prior to this (say March and July of 2020) against top competition. Yoel Romero is seemingly going to be one of those guys and you'd assume a healthy Paulo Costa is the other. The goal should be to keep Adesanya busy because you won't have his freshness and ability to fight consistently forever.

Light heavyweight- A genuine Jones challenger

I feel like it speaks to the pain of 205 lbs that Jon Jones' two title fights were against former 185 lbers who had casually beaten the shit out of the guys who once held pole positions in the division without much challenge. 2019 was a weird year for the division as it felt old, stagnant and perhaps worst of all directionless. If you honestly asked the UFC, I'd bet they'd say privately that the biggest disappointment of 2019 revolved around the fact that the fighters they probably expected to move up and provide fresh challenges all failed. Chris Weidman was smoked by Dom Reyes, Jan Blachowicz retired Luke Rockhold, Jacare Souza's 2019 was abysmal and his LHW debut left nobody impressed while Yoel Romero and Anderson Silva stayed home at 185 lbs. If one was to remove Dominick Reyes from the conversation, the next in line would be two guys who have pretty much failed historically when given a major step up (Jan Blachowicz is not too far removed from a four fight losing streak and Corey Anderson has been KO'd by the likes of Gian Villante and Jimi Manuwa) while the likes of Nikita Krylov, Misha Cirkunov, Khalil Rountree and that one polish dude (Michal Oluwalewalebangbang) all sort of did nothing. Even prized prospect Johnny Walker had a topsy turvy 2019 punctuated by getting smelted by Corey Anderson. The UFC needs to end 2020 with one of two things set in stone; 1) A genuine challenge for Jon Jones or 2) an understanding that Jon will be leaving the division for good and the UFC will finally have to invest resources into rebuilding this morbid division.

Heavyweight- More of the same, baby.

Seriously. This division is A-ok. You got a bunch of new dudes beating the shit out of each other, every year 2-3 new doughy guys show up and make a bit of an impact, a new HW to get giddy about from Brazil or Europe or Russia every few months and the likes of Alistair Overeem, Derrick Lewis, Stefan Struve and Andrei Arlovski to tie this shit all together. Let's keep HW happy and dumb, right? The only complaint could be had in every division really; have your champs fighting more.

Women's Strawweight- ALSO more of the same

Seriously this division has really become one of the best in MMA full stop. It still has the well earned reputation of being a decision division but if one wants to be honest, the depth at the top of this place is UNREAL good. Joanna, Zhang, Andrade, Namajunas, Suarez and Ansaroff on their own merits are as strong a top six as any division can offer. Throw in a healthy mix of ladies like Alexa Grasso, Claudia Gadelha, Randa Markos, Carla Esparza, Cynthia Calvillo and Marina Rodriguez and you've got great depth below that. Even if there isn't an influx of exciting fun new names (I think Virna Jirandoba and Brianna Van Buren are really the only two new debutants worth really getting excited over), there's plenty of talent o be had here. This is MMA's most unpredictable division so keep giving us wacky madness then.

Women's Flyweight- An identity

I guess you could sum up a division by its champion and clearly Valentina Shevchenko is the perfect face for this division. She's really talented, sometimes compelling as a fighter but you can't name anything about her besides "She killed Jessica Eye and she has a bullet tattoo!" At this point, what could you say about the women's flyweight division? What's their identity? What makes the women's flyweight division unique? Is it not just a grab bag of fighters too small for 135 lbs, too big for 115 lbs and prospects who are still trying to cut their teeth throughout the division? Women's flyweight fights just feel like they exist, adding nothing but always appearing on shows. What's the key to figuring out this division? They need an identity that gets fans to better understand it.

Women's Bantamweight- Depth beyond Amanda Nunes

I think there's a really good chance that barring the emergence of some faces, this division will not see a woman on the same level of Amanda Nunes, GDR and Holly Holm. What this division needs is depth because Holly Holm is one foot out the door and GDR has already retired once already. Just sign a bunch of ladies!

#MMA #UFC

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timeagainreviews · 5 years

Text

Twin Peaks s01e01 “Traces to Nowhere”

Happy New Year, and welcome back to Twin Peaks, friends. Before we dive further into the mystery of Laura Palmer, I would like to tell you about my friend Jason. Jason was a pal of mine in high school. We used to hang out, listen to music, watch TV, and smoke. He lived with his girlfriend at the time who was also my friend. This may sound sappy, but around these two, I genuinely felt like the best version of myself. I miss those days incredibly. Jason also happened to be the first person to ever introduce me to Twin Peaks. One night, he and a friend were watching the movie as I came over to buy a bag. On that day, I discovered what was to become my newest obsession, one of which would stick with me for the next eighteen years of my life. Sadly, Jason and I fell out of contact and we lost track of one another.

I mention this because I recently heard through a mutual friend that Jason died two years ago. I'll not go into the details, suffice it to say, it was too soon. I always wanted to track him down to say hello, and now I'll never get the chance. While my friendship with Jason was immensely rewarding, one of the most persistent things he left me with was a love for Twin Peaks. Much of my personal philosophy comes from Twin Peaks, and it continues to inform the person I am today. If it weren't for Jason, I wouldn't be me. Therefore, I would like to dedicate this article in his memory. To Jason Walton- My friend in the stars.

Thank you for allowing me that moment, friend. Now if you remember, we left off on kind of a spooky note. Through some sort of line of sight, Sarah Palmer was given a vision of a gloved hand retrieving James' half of the heart necklace from where he and Donna had buried it. Dale Cooper, after a long day of detection, has turned in for a night of sleep at the Great Northern hotel, which is exactly where today's episode begins.

I've read in the past that you can tell right away when David Lynch is directing, or in this case, when he isn't directing. This is not a complaint about director Duwayne Dunham's work, but there is a clear departure from the slow wave of emotions that permeates the pilot episode. However, the more straightforward procedural pacing works much to the episode's credit. Being written by David Lynch and Mark Frost, this episode is drenched in Twin Peaks tones and textures. I'd go as far as to say Dunham does a damn fine job following the hard act that is David Lynch.

We start with a pan across Cooper's hotel room. As I've done with my Doctor Who reviews, I found myself trying to see this scene as though it were my first time. You watch Twin Peaks for eighteen years, and you tend to forget just how strange the decor at the Great Northern truly is. Off-camera we can hear Agent Cooper talking to Diane through his recorder. As the camera searches across taxidermied deer hooves holding hunting riffles, and ornate nature paintings, we fall upon Cooper, hanging upside down by a pair of metal hooks around his ankles. It's never explained why he's doing this, but for some reason the late '80s and early '90s had a weird thing about hanging guys upside down as so form of exercise. Michael Keaton did it in Batman, Patrick Bateman had one, and even Dale Cooper. Perhaps it was quick way to indicate both athleticism and eccentricity.

Cooper, hanging about in his hot dad garters and boxers dismounts from his perch with an ease that is both impressive and sexy. Before ending his recording session with Diane, Cooper waxes philosophical about Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedys. In a way, this is Lynch and Frost drawing parallels between the deaths of both Monroe and Laura- two blonde women surrounded by powerful men and mystery. It's fitting when you consider that Lynch and Frost's first collaboration was in the form of a Marilyn Monroe biopic which never came into fruition. In many ways, the project laid some of the groundwork for what would become Twin Peaks.

Starting his day right with a balanced hotel breakfast, we're treated to yet another fascinating glimpse into Cooper's diet. As Sheriff Truman says later in the episode, he must have the metabolism of a bumblebee. Cooper orders a breakfast he refers to as "hard on the arteries," which is as hard as he wants his eggs. He wants his bacon super crispy- cremated. It may sound as though I'm exaggerating, but I've always loved watching Cooper order breakfast. He seems to revere food in a way not regularly seen on dramatic television. The morning coffee is more than one of the best, it's "damn fine." People have complained that the way people talk about food in Twin Peaks is weird. Sure, maybe in life creamed corn isn't an allegory to pain and suffering, but we've all been there when someone is having a similar reaction to the stuff. Food is personal, and it's a part of everyone's lives, why wouldn't characters talk about it?

Arriving at the tail end of Cooper's order is Audrey Horne, who has seemingly grown a good six or seven inches of hair overnight. Out of all of the mysteries in Twin Peaks, this was the least perplexing. Somewhere between filming the pilot and the first episode, Sherilyn Fenn grew her hair out, and it looks stunning. Everything about Audrey is stunning. Her eyebrows are stunning. That sweater is stunning. But at the moment, it is she who is stunned by Agent Cooper. Just as charmed by his eccentricities and his slicked black hair, she approaches Agent Cooper and asks to join him. Immediately Cooper sizes up that she finds him attractive, she's not exactly hiding it, and neither is he for that matter. For many fans, this is the moment the ship of Cooper and Audrey set sail. I personally always prefer the version where Cooper does the adult thing and doesn't date a high schooler.

After questioning Audrey, Cooper heads off to the Sheriff Station where they seem to still be having their breakfast as everyone he encounters has a mouthful of donuts. I'd also like to note the weird guy with a welding torch and ladder near the entrance. Twin Peaks is a lived in world filled with these people toiling away. Sheriff Harry Truman, mouth full of donuts, can't get a word in as Cooper flies into the room. After spelling out the itinerary, Cooper disappears to "urinate." This marks the first of many references to Dale Cooper's pee. Much like Tom Hanks, our favourite FBI agent is passionate about pissing. It's one of those life things, like food, that Twin Peaks likes to celebrate. Sometimes it's really nice to have a good piss, therefore sometimes Twin Peaks is about having a really good piss. I'm being completely earnest here.

Dr Hayward arrives to the sheriff station to report the findings of the post mortem. Unable to carry out the procedure himself, he outsourced the job to a nearby colleague. I've always admired the way Warren Frost plays this scene. His sadness seems to come and go in waves of realisation. There are the same echos from the pilot episode present here. From the report we learn that Laura died from a loss of blood from numerous shallow wounds. She had bite marks on her shoulders and marks on her arms from having been bound. She had also had sex with at least three men the night of her murder. The doctor also concludes that there is no doubt that Ronette was also present. As Dr Hayward relays this grizzly tale, his eyes wander to the photo of Laura. Pangs of sadness wash over his face as he questions who could do such a thing. He was the doctor present at her birth. She was his daughter's best friend. Laura was family to him.

On the other spectrum of family, we join the Johnsons at their incomplete home. Unable to just ask Shelly if she would do his laundry, Leo has to play mind games. He asks her if she did his laundry and chastises her as if catching her in a lie because his bag of nasty truck cabin clothes are still dirty. Eric Da Re is not a great actor, but there's something perfect about that. Leo is a big asshole that gaslights his wife, I don't expect much depth there. The only good thing I say about him is they got rid of his awful perm from the pilot. Even the way he pinches her cheek is controlling and unnatural. There's clearly no love between them, which is why when she discovers a blood-stained shirt in Leo's laundry she hides it. With Laura recently dead, and his behaviour as of late, this could be evidence. When he comes back later in a frenzy to find said shirt, he flies into a rage at its absence.

We're back at the Sheriff Station where we learn James Hurley owned the other half of Laura's necklace. As compared to Bobby's interrogation, James is Mr Manners. He answers all of Agent Cooper's questions with a quiet intensity. He admits to shooting the picnic video, and to owning the other half of the necklace, but not knowing who dug it up. He was also aware Laura was taking drugs but tried to get her to stop. On the night she died, James picked Laura up on his motorcycle. Acting strangely Laura disembarked from his bike, a disagreement ensued, Laura told James she loved him and disappeared into the woods. Cooper seems pleased with this information. We're then shown slow-motion picnic footage of Laura smiling at the camera. A somewhat cheesy "Help me," is played over the sound of wind and haunting music. It's a sort of fourth-wall-breaking that makes Twin Peaks feel as though not only the town, but the show itself is haunted by the late Laura Palmer.

Bobby and Mike, freshly arrested from their fistfight with Ed argue in their holding cells about the money they owe Leo Johnson. After being briefly questioned by Agent Cooper, they're both sent away with a warning not to harm James. James is also released into the custody of Big Ed, who confides that he believes the bartender, Jacques Renault, slipped a Mickey in his drink. Ed wasn't just meeting Norma that night, he was also staking out Jacques' activities as a suspected drug dealer.

Speaking of Norma, we're given a brief but intense encounter at the general store between her and Nadine. At this point in the show, Nadine is completely bonkers. While I don't feel like she becomes any less touched in the head, we do begin to see more depth to her than just Ed's crazy wife. Wendie Robie is so good as Nadine, that Peggy Lipton only really need to react in kind as Nadine goes on about her drape runners. You can tell there's a quiet rivalry between the two women, both of whom resent one another for what they represent to one another. Norma is the woman Ed loves, and Nadine is the woman that stole him from Norma. When Nadine emphatically mentions the cotton balls that will make her drape runners completely silent, Norma can only stand as if in disbelief. It's the epitome of "weird flex, but ok." It doesn't help that all of this cotton ball talk is nestled into a conversation about Ed being in intensive care. Nadine exits as soon as she entered, leaving poor Norma looking confused and slightly violated.

Speaking of forbidden love, we're given a great scene between Donna Hayward and her mother, Eileen. We learn that despite her grief for Laura, and the guilt it makes her feel, Donna is finding herself loving James. Despite the nightmare that surrounds her, this love for James is like a beautiful dream. Eileen encourages her to invite James over for dinner, which she does. When watching James meet the Haywards I couldn't help but think of Eraserhead. In both, we get two entirely different, albeit very Lynchian "meet the parents," scenes. While James isn't asked to carve any manmade chickens, the awkward politeness permeates both scenes. There’s a sort of wholesomeness that borders on absurdity. Watching James make small talk in his big boy sweater is about the cutest damn thing that you almost forget how violent and terrifying Twin Peaks can be at times. This is something lifted straight out of the Waltons with it's cheesy Americana and good-natured sincerity. Of course, not everyone is as pleased about this new pairing as Mike and Bobby spot James' bike outside Donna's house.

Meanwhile, Dale and Harry find their way at the Martel residence to speak with Josie about her language classes with Laura. Through body language alone, Cooper deduces that the Sheriff and Josie are an item of sorts, as indicated at the end of the pilot episode. Pete is his usual charming self, offering up a cup of Joe to our boys. We're given another Cooperism as he asks for his coffee "black as midnight on a moonless night." That's pure poetry. We don't learn much from Josie here, other than the fact that Laura used to tutor her English and that she seemed distracted the last time they met. The biggest takeaway from the scene is that somehow Pete accidentally brewed a pot of coffee with a fish in the percolator. This is easily one of the most iconic scenes from the original series. Jack Nance was a treasure, and I will never not feel absolute delight when he comes rushing in just a touch too late- they've already tried the coffee.

Josie is called away for a phone call from the ice queen Catherine who informs her that shutting down the mill for the day cost the company more money than it was worth. After hanging up with Josie, we can see Catherine is in a strange motel, sipping champagne with Ben Horne. They're clearly working against Josie, but it's no secret that neither of them trust one another. Everyone is playing the double secret con, and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. However, we do learn that the two are on again off again lovers. On the other side of town, Deputy Hawk follows up with Ronette's parents at the hospital. The Pulaskis don't have much information other than the fact that Ronette used to work the perfume counter at Horne's Department Store. As he is leaving, Hawk sees a suspicious one armed man skulking around the morgue. Following his gut instinct he starts tailing this mysterious figure through the dark halls of the hospital. Upon entering a room alight in a trippy dayglo black light, Hawk finds himself alone. Whoever this mystery man was, he disappeared into thin air.

A lot of this episode's theme seems to centre around the relationship between the parents and the high schoolers. Along with her conversation with her own mother, we get a scene between Donna and Sarah Palmer. Sarah, still sick with grief, seems genuinely pleased to see Donna until she sees Laura's face superimposed over Donna's. As she's pulling her closer she gets another vision, this time of a creepy grey-haired man sitting at the edge of Laura's bed. Sarah goes into full-on panic mode in a way only Grace Zabriskie is capable of delivering. Leland rushes in to whisk Donna away from the traumatic experience. In his own home, Bobby is getting a stern lecture from his father, Major Garland Briggs. The Major awkwardly tries to treat Bobby with some tough love, but ultimately misses the mark. Bobby's problems are bigger than anything his poor parents could fathom. The Hornes also experience a bit of domestic turmoil with Ben confronts Audrey about how her conversation with the Norwegians cost their family greatly. But unlike the Briggses, if Ben wanted to understand Audrey's rebellious nature, he only need look in the mirror.

Let's take a moment now to consider Laura Palmer. She was a troubled teenage girl with a drug habit, yes. Add to that being homecoming queen, in Spanish club, tutoring immigrants, caring for Audrey's special needs brother, and even heading Meals on Wheels for the elderly and shut-ins. It's the Meals on Wheels program that brings Cooper and Truman to the Double R Diner, where Laura used to work. We learn that Laura didn't just head the program, she created it. If any fictional characters were gunning for sainthood, Laura would be high on the list. It's easy to see why losing her has wounded the town so completely. The Log Lady approaches Cooper about Laura Palmer informing him that her log saw something the night Laura died. However, Cooper's reluctance to ask the log directly leads to her leaving before relaying the log's message.

Fresh off her shift from the Double R, Shelly returns home to Leo who has just put a bar of soap into a sock. He questions her about the bloody shirt, but she feigns ignorance. He tells her he's going to "teach," her about respecting people's property as he advances toward her with the sock swinging over his head. We can only look on hopelessly as the brutish Leo approaches a cowering Shelly. The scene graciously cuts away, as we know what comes next. The episode concludes in Dr Jacoby's bizarre Hawaii themed office (or maybe apartment, maybe both). Inside a fishtank sits three dried out puffer fish filled with blinking lights like paper lamps. After putting a tape into his stereo he dons a pair of giant headphones revealing a taped conversation from his former secret patient- Laura Palmer. He pulls coconut from a palm tree and settles in to listen to his tape. He opens up the coconut to reveal the other half of Laura's necklace. It appears that Dr Jacoby was the one following James and Donna into the woods.

The contents of the recording are revealing, not just about Laura, but also about Dr Jacoby. Laura's flirtatious nature indicates that we can add one more sexual partner to Laura's list. She mentions how James is sweet but too dumb to talk to her about her problems like Jacoby is capable of doing. But part of the brilliance in the scene is that you can also sense that Laura is acting for Dr Jacoby. Fulfilling the role of a young helpless girl who loves him, so that he may fulfil some role she needs. Whether it be a form of protection or just a soundboard for her problems, she had him wrapped around her finger. So what is this ritual of Jacoby's? Are these the actions of a killer reminiscing over the trophies of his hunt, or a man grieving the real, if not inappropriate relationship he had with a young girl? As the tape continues, we hear Laura talking about a man in a red car who can really light her "F-I-R-E." She continues to make a confession about a mystery man, but the audio drops out, leaving us only the doctor's perplexed face to clue us into what she said. The credits roll as we're left wondering.

Truth be told, I could have written this review without having to rewatch the episode. I try and rewatch Twin Peaks in its entirety at least once every one or two years. However, I am glad I did revisit this one as there are lots of little pieces of minutiae I may have overlooked. More than anything, I was curious to weigh Dunham's directing against David Lynch's, and I have to say, it's not bad. The tone is correct for the series and the emotions are played for real. It's always going to be different because the two directors are different people. But as certain episodes in season two prove, some directors begin to parody Lynch's style, adding weird for the sake of weird. But this early on, it is as though Twin Peaks is a juggernaut of unstoppable creativity. Even the duller storylines take on the energy of the greater mystery. Lynch only directed a handful of the original series episodes, which is why the next episode I'm reviewing is an especially exciting one. Not only is episode two (aka the third episode) directed by David Lynch, but it also begins to introduce some of the more metaphysical elements of the series. You could almost say that Lynch directs the most important episodes, and my god is this next one a doozy.

Well, friends, that's all from the world of Twin Peaks for now. I'll have the next review up soonish, but not before the new Doctor Who review. Speaking of which, it is now less than an hour until it airs! Who else is excited? What a great way to ring in the new year! See you all soon!

#twin peaks #season one #david lynch #mark frost #dale cooper #kyle maclachlan #Laura Palmer #Sheryl Lee #dr jaboby #donna hayward #audrey horne #duwayne dunham #traces to nowhere #james hurley #bobby briggs #ronette pulaski

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theliberaltony · 4 years

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via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

sarahf (Sarah Frostenson, politics editor): Over the weekend, an ABC/Washington Post poll found that most Democrats now back former Vice President Joe Biden, but enthusiasm for his candidacy was, on the other hand, pretty lackluster.

Just 24 percent of his supporters said they were “very” enthusiastic about supporting him. This marked the lowest level of enthusiasm for a Democratic presidential candidate that ABC/Washington Post has found in the last 20 years. And perhaps even more troubling for Biden was that nearly twice as many of President Trump’s supporters (53 percent) said they were “very” enthusiastic about his candidacy.

This, of course, has sparked comparisons to 2016 when former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton found herself in a similar situation — running neck-and-neck with Trump and with only 32 percent saying they were “very” enthusiastic about supporting her in September 2016. Biden, of course, is already 8 points below that mark now.

So does Biden have an enthusiasm problem? What’s the case for why he might and the case for why we shouldn’t read too much into this now?

nrakich (Nathaniel Rakich, elections analyst): I don’t think this is something Biden should worry about, at least not right now. We’ve just come off a knock-down, drag-out, 15-month-long primary fight. And some would argue it’s still going on, with Sen. Bernie Sanders still contesting the nomination!

It’s a lot to ask for the party to be totally united at this early juncture. I’d guess that, by September, Biden will have as good or better enthusiasm numbers as Clinton did in September 2016.

natesilver (Nate Silver, editor in chief): It feels so quaint to be debating a horse-race question in the middle of a pandemic.

But basically: I don’t think enthusiasm is a terribly meaningful indicator above and beyond what is already reflected in polls.

Sanders’s voters were more enthusiastic than Biden’s in the primaries. But he’s actually tended to underperform his polls. Sometimes higher enthusiasm means you have a narrower base, and the other candidate has more room to turn out undecideds, etc.

An important qualification to all of this is that most of the polls so far are conducted among registered voters when really we want to see likely voter polls, which won’t really be reliable for another several months.

nrakich: Yeah, Biden leads in most general election national polls right now, but likely-voter polls tend to be a few points better for Republicans than registered-voter polls, and as Nate says, we don’t have a ton of these polls right now.

perry (Perry Bacon Jr., senior writer): It’s hard to say much about enthusiasm right now since we are still in the midst of the Demcoratic primary ending. For instance, I think enthusiasm around him could still grow, especially after Barack and Michelle Obama have enthusiastically endorsed him, Sanders is behind him, and he has picked a running mate who perhaps excites the party.

sarahf: That’s fair, but how do we reconcile that Trump’s very enthusiastic support is so much higher than Biden’s — 29 points?

perry: Trump is the Republican Party’s candidate, and he just won his primary with overwhelming support. The party is unified behind him. People have voted for him once. I’m not surprised his supporters are fairly enthusiastic about him.

natesilver: I don’t care how much higher a quality is that doesn’t matter.

But honestly, I think this discussion is premature in some ways. The general election campaign hasn’t begun. The primary campaign is in a zombie-like state between being sort of finished and sort of not.

We’re in the midst of a pandemic. And we don’t have very many likely-voter polls, and to the extent we do, they’re not liable to be very reliable anyway at this early stage.

Perhaps most importantly, Democrats can be very enthusiastic about beating Trump even if they’re not that enthusiastic about Biden.

perry: Right, that’s the most important thing.

nrakich: Yeah, I find it hard to get worked up by any general-election polling at this point. We’re still so early in this massive news story that could significantly help or hurt Trump.

sarahf: But is it a bad sign for Biden — and enthusiasm for his campaign — that 15 percent of Sanders supporters in the ABC poll say they’ll vote for Trump?

natesilver: Twelve percent of Sanders primary voters voted for Trump in 2016, and another 14 percent voted for a third-party candidate or didn’t vote. So those numbers are in line with four years ago. And there are fewer Sanders voters than there were four years ago, so if anything those numbers are better for Biden than they were for Clinton.

nrakich: Yeah, historically, that would be a totally normal number. In addition to the numbers Nate cites for 2016, another study found that 25 percent of Clinton voters voted for McCain over Obama in 2008.

So it’s not like this is something past presidential candidates haven’t had to overcome as well. It can make a difference in a close election, but bigger factors (e.g., the national environment, the economy) will probably determine the outcome in the end.

sarahf: OK. So what I’m hearing is that the idea that Biden has a real enthusiasm gap is — at least at this point — overrated! But isn’t it at least somewhat worrisome that there now appears to be an effort to draft New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo for president?

natesilver: Ohhhhh Sarah, this is such trollbait.

nrakich: Let’s be clear — that “ooh, Andrew Cuomo should run for president!” talk is utterly nonsensical, non-serious and half-baked.

sarahf: It is! I’m not defending it. But look at what happened when that talk took off last fall. Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg and former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick both entered the race as opposed to throwing their support behind someone else.

natesilver: People don’t understand the process. People think you can magically wave a magic wand and that Cuomo becomes the nominee.

Look, if Biden drops out for some reason (health, scandal, etc.), then, obviously, you’ll need a different nominee.

And I do think Cuomo might be the second-most likely nominee, after Biden.

If you need an emergency replacement nominee because Biden drops out, he’s fairly compatible with Biden ideologically.

And frankly, the “emergency replacement” scenario — while unlikely — is still probably more likely than “Bernie wins all remaining contests by 20 points and wins a pledged-delegate plurality” scenario.

nrakich: I do wonder to what extent people actually believe/want Cuomo to be the nominee, and how much is just a fun daydream.

perry: I live in Kentucky. People are suddenly talking very positively about our Gov. Andy Beshear, who is a Democrat. This is in part because Trump is doing press conferences in which he ignores the evidence and seems as interested in defending himself as he is in addressing the issues. So Cuomo comes off well in comparison, as do other governors, like Ohio’s Mike DeWine, a Republican.

It also helps that Cuomo is doing a lot of media and lives in the media capital of the United States. Plenty of governors would be getting buzz if they were doing a competent job and were based in NYC, for example, Gavin Newsom (California), Jay Inslee (Washington), Beshear, DeWine.

nrakich: I think the Cuomo thing — both talk of him becoming the nominee and his role as a leader on the coronavirus in general — has been overinflated by the New York-centric media.

perry: Also, Biden has not been super-impressive in his media appearances, so there is that.

Cuomo has been better on that front, as have other governors.

sarahf: But Biden has been kind of missing from the coronavirus response, right? Part of that is because, as you all point out, he’s not a current governor tasked with spearheading preventive measures in his state, but it does seem as if it’s harder for him to have a natural place in the conversation.

natesilver: I don’t think anything Biden’s doing right now matters very much.

He’s also done more than the media has generally acknowledged.

perry: I think Biden is in the conversation. But his general ideas (Trump should listen to the medical experts, social distancing should continue) are what basically the media, governors, experts, everyone else is saying. Biden is not trying to stand out in that conversation or be interesting, which I think is normatively good. He is not offering weird ideas to stand out.

natesilver: The narrative is dumb. It’s always dumb at this stage of the campaign, when the primary winner has in all probability been decided but it’s not technically over yet. It would be a lot worse if not for coronavirus since the media would have a lot more news cycles to fill with fake drama.

nrakich: Yeah, Sarah, Biden hasn’t been as much of a presence on our TV sets, but I don’t think that’s his fault, as Nate pointed out. I think cable news just hasn’t been giving him a lot of airtime. The other day, major networks decided to air Cuomo’s briefing on the coronavirus instead of Biden’s speech.

But what Biden has to say on the coronavirus is more relevant to a majority of the country.

natesilver: It shouldn’t give him a lot of airtime!

Biden’s not hugely relevant at the moment.

nrakich: I think they should give him more than Cuomo! Biden might be president at this time next year. Cuomo governs just 6 percent of the country.

natesilver: Cuomo is dealing with the realities on the ground in a way Biden isn’t. And New York has a lot more than 6 percent of coronavirus cases.

He’s also doing a pretty effective job of communicating about coronavirus data and where the state and the country is in combating the epidemic.

I don’t think he’d get as much press coverage if he hadn’t been doing a good job with the communication side of things. It’s earned media in the truest sense of the word.

sarahf: That’s fair. A lot of what’s happening now is outside of Biden’s control, and obviously, there’s a lot we can’t answer, but Americans still rate Trump really highly on the economy — 57 percent said they approve of how he’s handling it, which marked a new high for him in that same ABC/WaPo poll. What’s more, Trump led Biden on this metric, 50 to 42 percent. Couldn’t that pose a real problem for Biden moving forward, especially if it’s harder for him to be a part of the conversation now?

nrakich: I think this is Exhibit A for it being too early to say anything. It seems like the economy is going to be in real trouble. If unemployment hits 30 percent or the gross domestic product growth rate is -15 percent, I don’t think Americans will continue to approve of Trump’s handling of the economy.

natesilver: No, I don’t think anything about the polls right now tells us very much about what the situation is likely to look like in September, or November.

People haven’t been living with this for very long. A lot of the consequences haven’t happened yet. And after the consequences, there’s the opportunity for a rebound, or a second wave.

You just have to be patient. Right now, I spend a lot more time looking at, say, the number of new COVID-19 cases in Italy than at Trump’s approval rating. I’d argue that the former tells us more about his reelection odds than the latter, since it tells us something about the extent to which a coronavirus epidemic can slow down post-peak.

sarahf: I can’t help but think that part of the narrative is being set now, though, about Biden having an enthusiasm problem. Of course, it could be that enthusiasm for Biden doesn’t really matter because enthusiasm to elect anyone but Trump is a bigger motivating factor, but I do wonder how that plays out in the coming months. Even if the enthusiasm gap isn’t real, could the perception of one still hurt Biden?

natesilver: Just one troll question after another.

sarahf: I know! But I think people are thinking about this — and even if it’s premature now — I do wonder how it takes root, even when it shouldn’t.

nrakich: That’s interesting, Sarah. Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if cable news continually covers Biden with the implication that he is somehow inadequate or not up to the task of beating Trump. I don’t know if that could become a self-fulfilling prophecy or not.

natesilver: I think if anything people tend to overlearn the lessons of the most recent election. A lot of the templates that people applied from the 2016 primaries to the 2020 primaries led to completely wrong predictions, like vastly understating Biden’s chances.

The fact that Democrats are worried about an enthusiasm gap because of 2016 could easily help Biden because it will scare Democrats into voting.

nrakich: I certainly agree that people try way too hard to retrofit the lessons of the previous election. To many (especially those with an anti-Sanders agenda), Clinton lost because Sanders voters weren’t united around her. But can’t it just be enough that she lost because it was an extremely tight election and that happens sometimes?

perry: Biden could very well lose the general election. And he could lose in the same way that Clinton did — a center-left Democrat wins the primary on the strength of older voters, particularly older black voters, but then loses in the general, with Trump winning in key swing states even as he loses the national popular vote.

But Clinton almost won and Biden very much could win. I don’t think Biden has an enthusiasm “problem,” but having enthusiastic supporters who are donating a lot of money, volunteering and eventually turning out to vote in large numbers always helps. So getting as much of Sanders’s crowd on board as possible will be useful for Biden.

Do I think it would be better for Biden if polls showed people were excited to vote for him? Yes, because I do think there is the potential that “people are holding their nose and voting for Biden” becomes a narrative.

nrakich: I also think a lot of the problem is that no one media members or the Twitterati know personally is enthusiastic to vote for Biden. Which of course speaks to the bubbles they live in. But that can have real effects on the narrative, as Perry said.

perry: But it’s hard for me to look at these polls right now and say Biden has an actual enthusiasm problem — or really many problems at all.

#IFTTT #Politics – FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #A FiveThirtyEight Chat

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thepolyorchids · 6 years

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A bit about each song on The Polyorchids LP

Track 1 of 10: The Lark

This was the first Polyorchids song that didn’t exist prior to the band’s formation. It was sort of an experiment in a different writing style. The first Courtney Barnett album had just come out and I loved the way she wrote these songs made up of super specific and sometimes mundane lyrics that, when added up, made you feel something. Tony’s naturally great at getting specific like that, but I tend to retreat into my own mind and write from that space. I used a simple a two-chord progression I’d been sitting on for years and wrote a blow-by-blow telling of a drive out to a gig Travis, Tony and I played in Willits a few weeks prior. The hills of Lake County had just been burned by a huge fire. On the trip, we met a bunch of nice seasonal weed-trimming folk (plenty of them white dudes w/ dreads, hence the chorus, which was originally just a placeholder but ultimately stuck) and we crashed at a shitbox motel called The Lark. I liked a Joyce Manor song called “Midnight Service at the Mutter Museum” which had a quiet-verse/loud-chorus structure to it. I brought it to the band with that in mind, but couldn’t get Travis to soften the his floor tom hits, only to find that the thumping beat actually made for a better song. From there it found its groove. — Justin

Track 2 of 10: Predisposed

Most of the lyrics and melodies for “Predisposed” were written in 2011. I think for most songwriters it’s easier to say something in a song than it is to say it in real life. This song was written directly to my friend (and sister from another mister) Nicole Putnam. She was and has always been someone that had my back no matter what, no questions asked. This song turned out to be a (WELL-deserved) explanation/Thank You (even though she never asked for either) for all the times in that year she was there for me when I felt like I had no one. It started as an acoustic song (like most Polyorchids songs), I absolutely forgot I EVEN WROTE IT! For me writing becomes sometimes like therapy, so once I finish... I feel better and feel like I can move on a bit. I found and old iPhone in October of 2017. When I checked out the voice memos, this bad boy was on it. It wasn’t totally complete but Justy, Trav and I worked it to be a full band song and it made it to our album. This is also the first time in The Polyorchids history that I sing my own song on the record. — Tony

Track 3 of 10: Dumpster Heap

I wrote the melody for this a few years ago on a miniature kids’ guitar I was fooling around with, but I spent more than a year just humming gibberish to it. Tony and I have had tons of conversations about our feelings about talking politics on social media. On one hand, it’s a cesspool of garbage that brings out the worst in people and diving into it accomplishes essentially nothing, but on the other hand, it’s where we do 90% of our communicating at this point. If we don’t talk about this stuff online, we’re sort of making the decision to not talk about it at all, which isn’t good either. I’ve typed out full responses to Facebook comments only to delete them before posting so as to avoid surrendering my day to a shit show of notifications. This song is about that internal conversation. I wrote a second verse for this after the “grab her by the…” tape came out, but decided it made an evergreen idea too specific. A few months later I started writing ’45’ and realized this 30-second song could exist with just one verse that feeds right into that one. — Justin

Track 4 of 10: 45

The sort of bizarre post-election vibe had given way to the inauguration and now this guy was slapping his Sharpie signature on like five executive orders per day and arguing about crowd sizes. A parade of idiots were marching through Charlottesville with tiki-torches the day I started writing it. I can’t really pull off overtly political lyrics because they feel corny to me about one hour after I write them, but it seemed like a joke that this dude was running things and I felt like trying capture that in some way, because it was inescapable. Jeff Rosenstock’s WORRY had come out a few months earlier and knocked me out. A fast/crazy deep-cut called "Bang on the Door” was my favorite track and I pretty much wanted to jack it and make it my own. The chords and melody for 45 are totally different from that song, but you can tell they’re sort of distant cousins. I only had one verse written, but I showed it to Trav and Tony at the very end of a practice and the “Side! Eyed! Glances!…” intro was so glorious and punchy with the full band. Some songs take work to find their groove. This one was a natural fit right off the bat and we got excited about it. I wrote a second verse and we started playing it at shows. I finished the third verse the night before recording with Pat and our friends Mike and Jake came in to sing gang vocals on the outro. — Justin

Track 5 of 10: Skeletons

Tony wrote this one a few years ago and lost the demo on an old phone (that’s his move) until just a few months before we recorded the album. I’d never heard it prior to that, but I instantly became obsessed with it, even more so than Tony I think. I told him as much, and I even played it a few times at open mics by myself. The song is really just one verse and one chorus… or a looping chorus with one bridge — however you want to put it. I added the guitar riff, which mirrors the melody but gives it something new, and pitched the idea of having Tony and I alternate singing with a louder, shared verse at the end. This is the only time we’ve ever structured a song that way. We recorded this two days before I moved out of California and we had absolutely no time to practice it with Travis. We tracked our instruments to a click track (unlike most Polyorchids songs, which we record live as a full band) and let Pat at Earth Tone play the percussion after the fact — also something we’d never done before. — Justin

Track 6 of 10: Down in the Desert

This song was written after a trip to Arizona for my uncle Jeff’s funeral. My brother and I grew up with our uncle around a ton, bringing us those little popper/snappers and just generally being the best. As we grew older, we came to realize how truly bizarre and fucking hilarious this person was. Eccentric and witty to his absolute core. He joined the Army out of high school and was stationed in Germany, which I think clouds this song in a bit of confusion because “shipped out to Germany…” really sounds like WWII, but it was actually decades later during a peace-time in Germany. My uncle enjoyed room-temperature tall cans of beer — a taste he said he developed during those years in Germany. After the Army, he got into theater and ultimately became a union-carded makeup artist in Hollywood, working on stuff like the sitcom Major Dad and a TV adaptation of the movie Weird Science among many other projects. Before the funeral, my dad received a letter from one of Jeff’s old makeup artist friends/colleagues. He read that full letter at the funeral and it was just about the most real and beautiful thing I’ve heard in my whole life... Just a human being remembering another human being through the specific memories they shared — the kinds of specifics that send you inward to think about your own memories. I cried hard and felt extremely happy at the same time.

The whole extended family stayed at a desert motel that night and passed a couple of tall cans around in a circle and took turns sharing stories. I liked the idea of letting that evening with family be the chorus and Jeff’s life be the verses, so that’s the basic structure of the song. I started the first couple of lines during that road trip to the desert, but the rest came one line at a time over like a half a year. I never hit a wall, but I never hit a groove either. It was a challenge to write, and yet I felt strongly about seeing it through. It wasn’t until I played an almost-finished version for Tony that it became a potential Polyorchids song at his insistence. I played it once at an open mic but the first time we played it live as a band was at Danny Secretion’s Fuck Cancer benefit almost exactly a year later. — Justin

Track 7 of 10: Back off, Warchild

I started this as a sparse and mellow folk song on acoustic guitar, but abandoned it after about a month of frustration over the lyrics. It started as a sort of abstract story about conflict and tension, but I had a hard time keeping it moving. I liked the first verse on its own but didn’t see a path forward. But then we tried it as a band right after the Popgun EP was done while floating some new song ideas. This came right after we’d found some momentum with The Lark, and I got excited about the dynamics of the full band banging it out. It added something new and took some pressure off the lyrics, which I still feel a bit lukewarm about to be totally honest. The binding theme of the song is frustration and tension and negativity. Verse one is childhood, verse two is early adulthood, and verse three is the old age and death. The chorus is sort of an anthemic reveling in that pessimism, which is no way to live but real nonetheless. The one lyric I really love is the chorus line: “...Not our tax brackets not the weather / could pull the graphite out of the letters...” The song title comes from a line in Point Break when Keanu is about to get in a fight at the beach. We spent our teens and 20s camping and boogie boarding at that beach (Leo Carrillo) and rinsing off in those same outdoor showers. — Justin

Track 8 of 10: Low Class Love Song

Low Class Love Song was started in October of 2017. It started out as a baseline I couldn't get outa my head (I'm not 100% sure but I feel like I might have stolen the chords from "runaround sue"). It ended up being a song about the feeling of dating above your class and knowing it's not gonna end well but pursuing it anyway because the pain of a broken heart is worth the experience of sharing some time with that person. Music really is cheaper than a therapist. — Tony

Track 9 of 10: Preachers in Private Jets

This song started as a jam session groove at a practice. Our old band wrote some songs that way, but The Polyorchids never really have. We loved playing it but didn’t know how to treat it because there was no chord progression, just this looping riff. Eventually we added a palm-muted version of the riff and I started yelling nonsense over that part sort of in the style of Fugazi’s Waiting Room. Around that time I saw a video of two televangelist preachers shooting this shit about why God is very pumped about them being super rich. More than half of the lines in this song are lifted almost directly from that YouTube clip. A week before recording, Hurricane Harvey hit Houston and Joel Osteen locked up his megachurch doors, keeping out the affected. That last verse was finished right before recording. The chorus chords were written separately by Tony for a different song, but we were elated to find that they fit right into this one and added a nice melodic part that contrasted the verses and the riff. We took a long time to start playing it live, but Jake from Pisscat nudged us to play it every night of a tour we did together around Lake Tahoe. Pisscat pal Becky wrote it on a set list as Pee Pee Jay one time and I regret not calling it that. From there it felt complete. — Justin

Track 10 of 10: Readiness for Radio

After a life spent not caring either way about Bruce Springsteen, I found my way to his Nebraska album and loved it like many before me. I did the obligatory deep-dive into its origin story: DIY four-track demos that he’d recorded in his basement with plans of doing a proper full-band studio album, only to release the raw demos instead because they served the songs better. I liked the idea of writing something that referenced the themes of the album and its story without ever doing so explicitly. The result, I think, is one of those songs that lets the listener find their own meaning. It’s not an autobiographical song for me, and yet I identify with plenty of it personally. The main chords were adapted out of an old mewithoutyou song. I thought I’d spun them off to be totally unrecognizable, but my brother’s wife Veronica spotted it like four years after I wrote it! If you listen to that band, let me know if you can spot it. I recorded it live in the big drum room at Earth Tone, soaking it in open space and reverb. Pat left the loooong ringing sound of the final chord and then abruptly ended it when I slap the strings shut. I love those final seconds. — Justin

#the polyorchids #folk #punk #indie #earth tone #songwriting

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rosedalemike · 6 years

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“The Mood” Blog #9 - Farewell, Rosedale...It is time.

This is a really tough one for me and I'm not sure where to begin. I guess I'll be blunt and say that I have been finding more than ever that it is in the best interest of my musical journey (and well being) to put Rosedale to rest and start a new chapter.

Rosedale has meant everything to me for almost 15 years now. I've devoted the majority of my time, money, attention, and energy to Rosedale. And I don't regret any of it. I've learned so much more than I could have ever imagined about music and life and saw more of the world than most people get to see in a lifetime. I managed to actually grow Rosedale into a small business and it has made music my full time occupation. When I look at it that way, Rosedale screams success!

Touring has become a big part of Rosedale's agenda. Building a memorable live show, getting merch graphics and orders ready, booking shows, traveling to them, managing an intense amount of gear/production- and as I explain in my prior blogs - I don't really mind doing all the dirty work. I enjoy the challenge and it is all worth it for those magical moments where I get to see lives being changed/inspired. I love meeting fans and bands and I love that Rosedale has often been labeled a "musician's band". It's no surprise. I almost have no personal life because - for better or for worse - I love how much my work doesn't feel like work. So, evidently, I tend to write a lot of songs about the grind; the ups/downs, the pride/doubt, the dreams/memories. So that's how I'd like this farewell announcement to go. (Though, I'd like to think I'm a better songwriter than blogger.)

Before I touch on a few of the many reasons, I'd like to clarify that this is not a re-brand/name change, nor is this me quitting music. And I don't really wanna talk about what musical ideas I have for the future just yet. There are many options that I need to figure out for myself. But I am finally 100% positive that none of them will be under the name Rosedale. Rosedale will end as Rosedale and I want this announcement to be about Rosedale. The Rosedale songs/releases will rest as Rosedale songs after this tour. They had their time and proudly resonated throughout many amazing places/ears.

I want everyone to know sooner rather than later (even though the next chapter is nowhere near ready) because it is only fair. If you were thinking that you'll just catch this new Rosedale show the next time it rolls through town I wanna let you know there won't be a next time. And if you are over Rosedale already, chances are you haven't read this far anyway.

I understand if this is upsetting to some. Believe me, it’s hard to just call it a day like this almost as much as it feels absolutely necessary. So before you set your Rosedale apparel a-flame and make that tattoo removal appointment, hear me out:

Reason 1: The Unoriginal Name

As jaded and cynical as I may sometimes come across about the ever changing music industry, one of the new musts that I can definitely understand and respect is that being unique/original is crucial. The answer to a lot of musician's uncontrollable struggles is 'over saturation'. I hear it everywhere I go. And from the seminars and conferences I've spent my time attending/downloading over the years; having an original, easily searchable name is the first step to growing your brand. (Brand; If you've been reading these blogs, you know how much I had that word.) But, ultimately, the name is the brand.

And not only is there over 5 other Rosedale's on Spotify, the origin of name Rosedale is nothing original; Four friends walked down a street ‘ROSEDALE AVE.’ that leads to the music store- thought it sounded cooler than their current band name. Sure, to put it that way is a total slap in the face to the legacy that Rosedale became. But it is no wonder that here I am at a stand still, personally messaging 'fans' to come to their local venue/dive bar etc. to be reminded that Rosedale is unique/original/interesting/so much more (and all the other nice things I hear from people after the set).

I had the oportunity to go out for a long breakfast with my biggest hero the other day while I was home. He was showing me, first hand, the struggle someone not-so-technically-savvy might have finding my music on Spotify. He stoically said "you should change the name." I knew it was a burden for a while now and that it would be a big headache to commit to, but the way he said it made me realize it was no big deal and it was definitely time. (Biggest hero = my dad)

Reason #2: What even is Rosedale even???

Similar to Reason #1, a confusing brand is not a good brand. Side note; none of these reasons are things I just suddenly realized. They've actually been worsening burdens over the last four years. The truth is, back in November 2013 (when I was finalizing demos/new songs for Self-Titled and Again) we (as in me and my management at the time along with other industry friends) were discussing a name change/rebrand. Mostly because the infamous history of Rosedale was a bit of a confusing thing, (especially locally) and still is!

'Is it a band? Is it just Mike? Why is it just Mike? Is Mike's last name Rosedale? Maybe his middle name is Rosedale? What happened to the members from Get Going? Is that even Mike singing on the Past Times EP/You'll Count to Ten??'

We all felt a name change was necessary. But as we'd each listen to the new songs/demos separately on our drives home from the studio and try to brainstorm the perfect name, we couldn't help but realize that most of these songs were written about the history of Rosedale. One recurring idea was; change the name but call the album (/EP or whatever) 'ROSEDALE'.

In the end we just kind of decided to announce/shop these new songs as a "Re-Launch" of Rosedale. New logo, new songs, new sound, new line-up, new album; same name. The underground Rosedale following seemed excited, especially with the out-of-left-field, tongue and cheek T-Swift love song being the first single out the gate. But it still left a lot of question marks to some of the new followers we were picking up at Warped Tour etc. (especially because I had these awesome, well adversed fill-in/temp members building the brand). Slowly I was realizing that I was creating a clearer understanding, better response, respect from the venues (including Warped Tour), and much better merch sales from delivering my inevitable one-man show. But, nevertheless, still a confusing topic for even some of my most supportive fans. I am even confused - to this day - as to why my perfect fill-in members (from my hometown, to Virginia, to Indiana, to West Virginia) were not improving results/sales. But then again, we live in quite the different age for Rock N' Roll/technology.

Reason 3: Counter-Productive Shows

This one is extremely tough to explain. Especially to my supporters. So really try to level with me on this one. I tour a lot and I love it but If you read blog #5 - Lonliness/Perception you'll get an in depth insight on the kind of sheepishness I encounter in my travels. It's a natural process; people feed off the reaction of others. I've played some mediocre/catastrophic sets to big crowds (blew out my voice in Toronto to a crowd of 200+ , laptop crashed twice in Columbus to a sold out crowd at A&R, been booted off stage/muted after two songs opening to Eve 6's supportive fans in Albuquerque) and got a way better reaction/sales/follows/likes/LIVES-CHANGED than any flawless/powerful performance to an intimate crowd of 5-15 confused attendees. The reality is, the more common is the latter. And what’s worse is the next time I invite those confused attendees out to a show; 98% of them will give me the "I'll see what I can do" which 99% of the time means "I've got better things to do". Don't get me wrong, I'm aware people suck and I rock. And I'm still smiling up there on stage while I crush a feel-good set to 10 yawning, doubtful, distant sheep. And to the 2% of people who aren't yawning as their lives are being positively inspired; I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

But when I start the van and drive to the next city I can't help but realize that the 98% of the shallow people that I'm not reaching (due to the empty surroundings) I'm doing myself, Rosedale, and the newly inspired a dis-service by continuing to settle for less; to play shows to crowds of under 20. That’s why I tried that Show4me.com mcgiver with the Again EP release tour. I wanted to give back to supporters and confirm that there would be at least a small crowd committed to coming out.

If you're reading this and thinking 'who cares, keep playing for fun!' - my response is; try telling that to the venues/promoters that are giving Rosedale a home to grow my business with theirs. Luckily, many of them have been supportive/forgiving towards my sad numbers, but there are definitely some promoters/venues that 'will have to pass' on my follow-up tours through. Rosedale has always been more than a hobby to me. It is my life and my business. And any artist who is too lazy to handle the business side of things just doesn't love music as much as they think (or as much as they'd like you to believe). I'll admit, I could definitely still improve on the business side of my little DIY empire here. So let's call that the general consensus of this reason...and we can’t keep ignoring the unsearchable name conundrum.

Reason 4: No room for new/old songs

(This one can easily be argued with many other relik bands as examples...but-) I'm STILL playing 30 minute sets (usually)... yet I have over 200 minutes of released Rosedale material! I've had to become that stage hog that pushes my 30 minute slot to 35/40 minutes just to play 20% of Rosedale's released material, just to give my few attendees almost all that they came to see. (Luckily, most of these venues' staff have also been super forgiving/supportive of this no-no).

Some people wanna hear oldies, some people wanna hear new songs that I haven't even added to the set yet (because I don't have enough stage time anyway). And in most cities I'm not in a position to headline/play last because everyone but the few Rosedaliens will just leave after their friend's set. I've seen it too many times and I still "Turn whiter than a song in C" when it happens. Will Rosedale ever get to a headlining status World Wide? I still believe it's possible. But not if I keep spinning the tires against all these roadblocks. It is very obvious I need to take a different route to get there. So maybe Rosedale will come back down the road...but that is no longer up to me. And for the time being, it's time to move on to the next chapter.

Reason #5: Hit Reset

You ever work so hard on something (maybe like a school project or a video game or recipe) then realize you have to start over? Or maybe your computer crashed or the ingredients spoiled without you realizing it. That used to happen to me a lot and still does. But it bothers me less each time.

Because then, as you're starting the process all over, you have that comforting Epiphany of improvement; 'dang, this draft is way better'. You realize that first run was a practice round and now you've got this Ol' Gunner experience to do things right and avoid the mistakes.

I've always felt that way going into each Rosedale album/EP. After Past Times it was all about using the right mics and amps to get that polished mix for Get Going. Then for Real it was all about not over-editing and leaving in the string noise and breaths...even footsteps. Then with Self-Titled and Again I dug a lot deeper into lyrics / my personal story and really went all out with dynamics using orchestration of infinite instruments. A lot of those sessions I had to re-play/sing the songs. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by dumb technological luck. But it always came out better the next time because repetition is the father of learning.

Anyway, you get the obvious point. But I think it is the most important one. Also, I should mention; the bigger the reset, the bigger the results. Ending Rosedale and starting something entirely fresh would be the biggest reset I've ever done. It might take a while, but if I go at it with the work ethic I've driven into Rosedale, the step-up is gonna be huge! We're talking over half my life - BOOM - RESET! Clear brand! Searchable! Productive strategizing/shows! Working with a blank pallet could be a great advantage. I'm still the same person/artist but I have a chance to create content under a fresh....brand...damnit. Again, I don't know exactly what that brand is quite yet, but I do know for sure that it will be better and stronger than Rosedale ever was.

So again, don't worry, my fellow Rosedaliens (& don’t get excited, haters), I'm not throwing in the towel and I'm definitely not slowing down. I'm just being honest with everyone and keeping you in the loop. This is the victory lap. I was gonna buckle down and work on new tracks after this run anyway but I'm letting you know asap that Rosedale (and these songs) are retiring. If you were thinking about taking a trip this summer to see one last final Rosedale show, you should definitely do it. I'm out here still giving it 110% every show to make everyone realize that "the really tall Canadian with way too much gear" is really on to something. Even if he ditches the overly popular, unsearchable, confusing name.

Though this is yet another very long blog, this announcement could have easily been 10 times longer. There are hundreds of other reasons/things I meant to say but I just kinda let slip my mind or, evidently, they didn't seem nearly as important/relevant. (Like the Chicago horror rock band "The Rosedales", who showed up to our very first Chicago show in 2009 with a Cease and Desist letter for trademark infringement and contacted all the venues on that first tour to threaten all profits...they still threaten me from time-to-time...)

Probably not the best place for this but: Rosedale’s songs and CDs and merch will still be available online. I'm just not sure if I'll be reprinting anymore hardcopies (definitely not Past Times as is as I don't even have the art file). Likely not reprinting merch and there isn't all that much left. So I'll try to keep the merch store as up-to-date on sizes as I can on the rest of this final Rosedale tour. But if you'd like to invest in Rosedale stock (and help clean out my van/garage) CDs are the way to go. I'll even sign them on request and maybe they'll be worth something one day.

I'm still gonna be writing weekly tour/music/life blogs and I'll likely be starting that podcast/YouTube show I was babbling about when I introduced this blog in Blog #1 as a first step into the new chapter.

It'll be interesting to see how this announcement plays out amongst the many social-media-only Rosedale followers and the true Rosedaliens. To the true Rosedaliens; I can't thank you enough for hanging in there and supporting me through thick and thin. Even if you just recently found out about Rosedale, and are just now enjoying/sharing/supporting my art, I really do appreciate you like family. I highly encourage you to come experience this victory lap and join me for the next chapter. Know that this is not goodbye. This is see you later in a different fashion. Hopefully sooner than later, though future timelines are still all up in the air.

The only thing I'm sure of at this point is that this is the last Rosedale run and I'm gonna go 110% for every day of it. (Maybe even 120% now... I'm really gonna miss playing these songs!!!) Hope to see familiar faces as well as some of the mystery faces. Thanks again, everyone <3 xoxo

FINAL DATES: 5/30 - Boise, ID @ Shredder

5/31 - Vancouver, BC @ The Roxy

6/1 - Everett, WA @ Black Lab Gallery

6/2 - Seattle, WA @ Kate's Pub (acoustic)

6/5 - Tacoma, WA @ Real Art Tacoma

6/6 - Portland, OR @ TBA

6/7 - Portland, OR @ White Owl Social Club

6/8 - Grants Pass, OR @ The Sound Lounge

6/9 - Klamath Falls, OR @ The Pikey

6/10 - Phoenix, OR @ The Phoenix Clubhouse

6/13 - Sacramento, CA @ Cafe Colonial

6/14 - Cupertino, CA @ Homestead Bowl & Xbar

6/15 - Bakersfield, CA @ Sandrini's

6/16 - Las Vegas, NV @ Evel Pie

6/20 - Pomona, CA @ The Legacy Room

6/23 - San Diego, CA @ Soma

6/26 - Phoenix, AZ @ TBA

6/27 - Tucson, AZ @ TBA

6/28 - Las Cruces, NM @ TBA

6/29 - El Paso, TX @ Neon Rose

6/30 - San Angelo, TX @ The Deadhorse

7/4 - Austin, TX @ Mohawk

7/5 - Houston, TX @ Acadia

7/6 - Laffayette, LA @ TBA

7/7 - New Orleans, LA @ TBA

7/8 - Pensacola, LA @ Handlebar

7/12 - Santa Rosa Beach, FL @ Grayton Beer Company

7/13 - Nashville, TN @ Rocketown

7/14 - Columbus, OH @ Rock The Creek

7/17 - Cincinnati, OH @ TBA

7/20 - Memphis, TN @ TBA

7/21 - Birmingham, AL @ TBA

7/22 - Fort Walton, FL @ Green Door Music Hall

7/23 - Columbus, GA @ TBA

7/24 - Atlanta, GA @ Masquerade

7/26 - Savannah, GA @ TBA

7/27 - Jacksonville, FL @ Jackrabbits

7/29 - St. Augustine, FL @ Sarbez

7/30 - Orlando, FL @ TBA

7/31 - Tampa, FL

8/11 - Myrells Inlet, SC @ TBA

8/12 - Myrtle Beach, SC @ Klockers (acoustic)

8/16 - Asheville, NC @ TBA

8/17 - Norfolk, VA @ TBA

8/18 - Virginia Beach, VA @ TBA

8/20 - Richmond, VA @ Strange Matter

8/22 - Washington, DC @ TBA

8/24 - Philadelphia, PA @ TBA

8/25 - Long Island, NY @ TBA

8/26 - Hamden, CT @ TBA

8/28 - Providence, RI @ TBA

8/30 - Boston, MA @ TBA

8/31 - Albany, NY @ TBA

9/1 - Burlington, VT @ TBA

9/5 - Potsdam, NY @ TBA

9/7 - Montreal, QC @ La Vitrola

9/8 - Ottawa, ON @ TBA

Maybe a couple hometown farewells early September too. Depends on some things.Lots to book. Any help would be much appreciated.

#Rosedale #rosedalemike #Farewell Rosedale #15 years #past times #Get Going #Real #Sampler 2014 #Self Titled #Tour #Again #Victory Lap #Reset

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vthiker09 · 6 years

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Feelings

I have many fuzzy feelings towards NH surgeon guy. Mostly rooted in an appreciation for him being able to exhibit basic empathy and having the skill set to help me, I try quite hard to keep him out of the rest of my feelings. I had a routine check-in with surgeon guy last week and I asked: “do I have do that running progression thing?” Although a little preemptive, because I can’t run for another five weeks, I wanted to know where I stood. Surgeon guy seemed to be a little taken back by my phrasing and said: “Why do you call it that thing? Even if you weren’t hurt, it would be a good idea after not running for several months.” I mumbled something about being frustrated, said I understood, and moved on to my next question. This is what I wanted to say: “I’m having a hard time dealing with the amount of loss I’ve experienced. Two months ago, I was running 3-4 miles three or four times a week. This was after I wasn’t able to run for a year and a half. The idea of taking, what I perceive as several steps backwards, and then having to walk 4 min run 1 min for 30 min, wait 48 hours, and then increase the run piece by 1 min until I can run for 30 mins - makes me really sad. I just did this.”

Although NH surgeon guy is much better than most, I’m aware I don’t really have time to delve into my emotions, if I want all my medical questions answered and Surgeon guy isn’t really the right person to talk to. As a community, we decided a long time ago, to compartmentalize medical care into “specialties.” The general idea being some areas of medicine require a more in-depth knowledge than others and in order to give people adequate care, some doctors need to spend their entire career working on one area - because the human body is complicated. Mental health was identified as a specialty area and was carved out long ago. At the same time, mental health carries a host of societal stigmas with it. It was carved out under the general guise of “specialties,” but at the same, it gave “traditional medicine” a way to say “nope, not us - go to talk to your therapist.”

In addition to what seems like a general fear of phrases like “I feel,” my experience has been the medical community sways in the opposite direction. I suppose after you see a couple hundred or thousand broken bones, blown apart joints, blood, and whatever else - a person’s natural progression would be become to less empathetic. When someone’s worst day is your norm - it might be a little harder to understand why they are whimpering in your office. There seems to be more space, however, for medical professions to be insensitive, rude, and hurtful. It’s as if their vicarious trauma provides them with the green light to make my trauma worse.

In my experience, the worst offenders are nurses and anesthesiologists. I have endless examples, but let’s just stick with my most recent surgical experience:

1. Nurse after seeing how much I weigh: “So are you kind of a healthy person?”

2. Nurse when Mike takes my purse as I’m being taken into the OR: “Nice Kate Spade (laughs)” me: “Thanks!” Nurse: “Oh, it’s yours?”

3. Anesthesiologist within 30 seconds of meeting me: “Oh, looks like you’ve been a good customer” - as she reviews my surgical history.

4. Anesthesiologist: “Is your heart rate normally in the 40��s?” - with a panicked tone me: “yes” nurse: “do you run?” me: “yes” anesthesiologist: “Oh, that must be difficult with your foot.”

Now keep in mind, I interacted with the nurses and the anesthesiologist for maybe a total of 20 minutes. That’s a lot of less than trauma-informed language to use in 20 minutes.

Surgeons tend to share their lack of empathy by just not listening, belittling you, or dropping anxiety causing statements about the extent of your injury. My personal favorites have been:

1. Me: “If everything is okay, why is my ankle so swollen, why does it give out all the time, and why does it hurt so much?” surgeon: “Well, we could re-break your leg, take the screws out, rearrange your bones again, and see if that works (laughs).”

2. Surgeon describing my initial injury: “It was kind of like your foot was torn off your leg.”

3. Surgeon describing the extent of damage to my foot: “It was kind of like you were walking around with an amputated toe.”

4. Me: “The inside of my ankle really hurts and I keep rolling it.” Surgeon: “I know your MRI says your deltoid is damaged, but it’s not - you’re fine.” me: “Then why does it keep giving out?” Surgeon: “I don’t know.”

5. Me: “I can barely walk 3 miles and I can’t hike at all.” Surgeon: “That’s pretty good! I haven’t walked 3 miles in years.”

Egos, paired with burnout, paired with vicarious trauma, paired with a general sentiment mental health and physical health have no space in the same building, has made dealing with the words coming out of my medical professionals faces, as difficult as my actual medical problems. For anyone who knows me well, I am not quiet. Thus, many times, I just had to bite my tongue when medical professionals would say something which was hurtful. I did this, because I knew it was in my best interest to keep them happy. If they didn’t like me or I was deemed to be a “trouble patient,” it wasn’t going to help my overall cause - which is to move again without pain.

What happens when your mental health is effected by your physical health? All the bad emotions I currently struggle with didn’t exist before my injury - they were caused by it. Thus, why is it not somewhat the responsibility of my medical providers to acknowledge I’ve been through an awful ordeal and to just be decent to me?

In theory, they would every so often ask if I was okay, but I know this would be asking too much. If they ever did, this is what I’d tell them:

I feel angry: I’m mad about the medical care I’ve received. I feel like my care was delayed, diagnoses were missed, I was belittled, not listened to, two of my five surgeries were pointless - and I’ve lost 2.5 years of my life because of it. I have a had time sitting with this and knowing the people involved will never acknowledge their role or be held accountable in any way. In the meantime, I will never get those 2.5 years back.

I feel hurt: I’m hurt in the feelings sense of hurt. There are people around me who have let me down. I’ve lost friends and there are others who I don’t feel the same way about. I saw pieces of people I didn’t want to see.

I feel sad: I spent a year and half not being able to do the things which help me relieve stress and help me maintain my mental health. In an extremely stressful time, I didn’t have the normal activities I look to, to help manage stress. I got them back for a few months and then had to give them up again. I feel a great sense of loss and it makes me sad.

I feel worried: I’m worried this won’t work. Why should it? the other four times didn’t. I’m worried I will never be the same. I’m worried I will live with chronic pain. I’m worried when you say “you have an ankle like no one else,” it means I will never be “done” with this process, because I will always struggle in some capacity. I’m worried it’s only a matter of time before I blow out my joint again. I’m worried I have fewer years to hike because my injury will, at some point, completely take hiking away from me. I’m worried “normal days” are something I may not experience for a long time. I’m worried I am going to be alone while I try to figure out how to live with this. I’m worried I’ll struggle because I’m too stubborn to tell the difference between healing and a problem. I’m worried about what life will be like 10 years from now and if I’ll be able to deal with it.

I feel alone: I don’t know anyone who has hurt themselves to the extent I did. I know a pile of people with bunions, arthritis, broken ankles, broken legs, tendinitis, or other foot and ankle afflictions. I don’t know anyone who has dealt with something like me and it’s difficult. Sometimes I want someone to talk to - who really “understands.” The closest person I’ve found are the surgeons and they don’t have time to talk to me.

I feel tired: I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to drive three hours to take an x-ray. I don’t want to go to PT. I don’t want to have a surgeon. I don’t want to have rules about how I have to move through the world. I don’t want to argue with Aetna. I don’t want to rely on Tylenol and Aleve to make it through the day. I don’t want to have to deal with the lack of compassion within the medical profession. I don’t want to have to leave dinner because I can’t sit in a chair any longer. I don’t want my entire life to be based on my leg and say things like “I don’t know if I can do x, we’ll see how I feel.” I want to go back to being “Erin” and see my primary once a year - maybe.

I feel lost: I know I will have to manage my healing for quite awhile. I don’t really know how to do this. I don’t know how to manage a serious injury. I feel like everyday is something new and not in a fun way. I feel like I don’t have the skills to properly assess what is and isn’t okay. I wish I didn’t have to learn these skills.

I feel overwhelmed: I walk through everyday holding all of this and it’s exhausting. I feel like I’ve become selfish out of necessity. I have become someone who takes and takes emotionally from those around me and I don’t like it. I want to be there for my friends and family like I used to be. I don’t want to say “I’m sorry, but I can’t listen to this right now.” I don’t want to worry someone will tell me they are having a bad day because it’s going to send me over the edge - since I’ve had 700 or so “bad days” in a row. I want my emotional pot to empty out a little so I have some space for other people.

I feel bitter: I feel bitter both about the medical care I received and the whole process. I complied with every single direction I was given. I worked really hard to get better and it failed. It failed four times. Other people do everything wrong and they end up okay. This seems unfair to me. Why did it fail four times? and why can’t anyone give me this answer?

This is how I feel. This is what I walk in with every single time I go to see a surgeon, PT, nurse, or office staff. This is also how I feel as I manage my non-medical life. It’s what I walk around with every minute of everyday.

Given all of this I wish a few things were true:

1. I wish there were mentors within the medical community. I would have loved to talk to someone who had had a similar injury and was a few years out. I wanted someone to talk to, who has experienced what I have and has been trained to help others. I don’t want someone who gives me faulty medical advice based on their own experiences. I want someone who “gets it” and has the skills to listen.

2. I wish the medical community had more skills around managing the mental impact of injuries or illnesses. I wish there was a higher standard when it came to how patients are treated verbally and offenders were held accountable. I wish the people who knew my medical situation the best could’ve also been the people who said “we know this is hard.”

3. I wish doctors were given the time and space to care for people instead of treating individual body parts. This piece alone would’ve made a huge difference.

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lindyhunt · 7 years

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Why Do Men Resist #MeToo?

The ranks here at FASHION are not filled with men. Shocking, right? But there are one or two (there are actually, literally, two). Naturally, when a question about male/female dynamics arises it’s only fair that one of them stand in for the members of his gender and provide some insight. Our last topic of conversation was whether this year’s Oscars failed the #MeToo movement and today, we’re discussing why men tend to get defensive when the #MeToo filter is applied to certain news stories.

This is what happened. Last week, it was reported that some female crew members on Netflix’s Stranger Things had felt verbally abused on the set by the show’s creators, The Duffer Brothers. As with many of these stories tangentially connected to the #MeToo reckoning, this one came and went quickly. Still, it annoyed Features Editor Greg Hudson, which in turn made him annoy Associate Editor Pahull Bains, since she would have to address his questions in one of these She Said/He Said things. (If you’re curious about how that Duffer Discussion went, feel free to send us a note, and we can email you a draft of that enlightening but longwinded conversation.)

It was clear that Hudson, the straight, white, cis-gendered, able-bodied male (though he is diabetic!) seemed disproportionately invested in whether the creators of Stranger Things were being treated fairly. But why? Why do so many men, including those who consider themselves allies, immediately feel defensive when these stories break? That defensiveness often disguises itself as a reasonable desire for nuance, which isn’t the Internet’s specialty. Fortunately, they tend to get past that knee-jerk reaction quickly. But why do they feel it at all?

Answering, or at least examining that question took a lot more words than they were expecting. But it seemed like an important conversation to be had.

GH: This is what I need your help with: there is no rational reason for me to feel offended by this story, and yet I immediately looked for flaws in how it was told in order to dismiss it. Why is the reputation of the Duffers even remotely important to me? Whether their behaviour was directed at their women employees because they were women (or, more specifically, because they weren’t men), or because Mr. Duffer Brother was frustrated with the grip, who just happened to be female, is immaterial. Why waste any time trying to justify asshole behaviour at all?

Is gender so strong a characteristic that I support and defend the Duffer Brothers simply because we (presumably) have the same genitals? That would be really dumb.

And yet, this movement has clearly demonstrated that gender is a strong enough bond for women. Maybe that’s because gender is the shared cause of oppression for women, whereas men aren’t held back because of their gender, so it feels like it should be incidental. And besides, it’s not like the Duffers, or any one else, are being attacked because of their gender. They are being called out for their dumb, mean behaviour (which normally goes unpunished because of their gender).

How do you make sense of male defensiveness? And here, for the sake of answering this better, let’s assume that we’re talking about your average, one-of-the-good-ones kind of dudes.

PB: For starters, yes, female solidarity does stem from us knowing that our gender lies at the root of every type of discrimination we face, whereas for men, discrimination can take on many different faces—race, class, sexuality etc. (Women have to contend with all of that too, but gender is the first, and biggest, hurdle in our way.) Despite not being a source of common oppression though, gender has always been the thing men band behind, and plenty of societal constructs, whether real or metaphysical—I’m talking gentlemen’s clubs, old boys’ clubs, the “bro code”—are all built on the prerequisite of being male. And I think men are feeling threatened by the possible erosion of all of that, because they view that stuff as innocuous.

I was in Austin last weekend for South by Southwest and attended a live taping of Pod Save America, in which Jon Lovett said something really insightful about this supposed war on men that men feel like they’re suddenly in the middle of. (His comments were in response to a Tucker Carlson segment on Fox News in which he announced that men in America are in crisis, which is why he’s devoting the entire month of March to shining a light on their struggle. Sigh.) Anyway, what Lovett basically said was that what men are experiencing right now isn’t so much a crisis of men, but a crisis of masculinity, and that’s a really important distinction. It’s not that men, as a whole, are under attack. But what is being “attacked,” which is to say, being challenged or questioned, is the construct of masculinity, which for far too long, has gone hand in hand with being an asshole. You know the kind I mean, the insensitive, bravado-spewing, superiority-claiming, dominating, sometimes abusive or violent “hot-blooded male” men. And that is what women are coming forward and saying they’re no longer willing to allow or ignore or live with. So it’s the socially accepted concept of “masculinity” as a whole that has something to fear in the #MeToo era, not men in general.

But still, it’s freaking men out. And for men like you, who consider themselves allies, there seems to be this instinctive need—going back to the Duffer Brothers thing—to be like ‘as someone who sees both sides of the equation, and empathises with both, I feel the need to tell you that this isn’t a #MeToo thing, or a gender thing, because they’re just assholes.’ I understand the need to try to find flaws in it, or ways to disqualify it from the larger #MeToo conversation by trying to separate the gender issue from the general behaviour issue, but the point is: you can’t. One feeds into the other.

Gh: That’s a good point. But it still doesn’t entirely explain why I feel the need to make that distinction in the first place. I don’t dismiss the allegations out of hand, but it’s as though I have to test the allegations against my own sense of justice and logic before I can fully qualify them as, indeed, gender-based. I like the explanation that I’m just trying to see both sides, but that might be letting myself off too easy.

You mentioned that we feel threatened. I think it’s right, but I think the wording isn’t. The thing about male privilege is that, for the most part, we don’t feel it. It’s like wearing a thick coat in the winter. You’re warm, but you still feel cold when the wind blows. And it’s not like knowing other people are colder makes much difference. When we talk about how men feel threatened, it implies that men know what they have and they see it being taken away. I don’t think we are that self aware.

Since we’re quoting podcasts, Mike Pesca of Slate’s The Gist, made a good point about privilege a few months back. We think of it as an advantage that some people (straight white folk, mostly; straight white men, particularly) have that others don’t. Pesca made the point that privilege isn’t something extra that certain groups have. Privilege represents how things should be. For everyone.

Cops don’t typically stop me for no reason. That’s not a bonus I get for being white. That’s how cops should treat everyone. When I apply for a job, I know that my name won’t make whoever is hiring ignore my resume. And that’s how hiring is supposed to work. Basically, it’s the absence of unjust roadblocks. Some men reject the idea of privilege because they don’t feel like they’ve received special treatment. And really, they haven’t received special treatment. They just haven’t received special mistreatment. (Okay, some do receive special treatment, but I’d argue that that’s a class thing.)

PB: I would strongly disagree here. I think the reason men are having such a strong reaction to everything that’s going on right now is precisely because they know just how good they’ve had it for so long. They’ve always been the loudest, strongest, most dominant voices in any room and for the first time they’re being told to listen, to introspect, to recalibrate. Of course there’s going to be an internal struggle against the potential dissolution of the evolutionarily indoctrinated conviction of male superiority.

GH: That’s a handy narrative. It’s easier to dismiss anything a man might say if we decide that we’re all consciously trying to keep what we have like social justice misers. I can imagine Wall Street bros and alpha males being more sinister than ignorant, but not, like, my friends and family. I’m not at all saying privilege doesn’t exist, I’m saying that it’s like a mental illness. It colours your life in all sorts of ways, without you knowing. I have depression. For a long time I wouldn’t really admit that I had it though, since it never prevented me from getting out of bed. I just assumed that the way I saw the world was accurate–was in fact the way everyone should see the world, if they were honest with themselves. I didn’t even realize how broken my thinking was because the thing that I rely on to recognize stuff, was broken, too. Men don’t realize when men are the only ones talking, or when they’re interrupting or being dominating. They are acting the way they’ve been socialized to act. Moreover, they don’t understand the little ways women are knocked about and objectified, because they only know their own experiences.

So if we can for a moment assume that some men at least don’t recognize how good they have it–that their unexamined life is their life–then a lot of the talk around changing society, or about how tired we all should be of hearing from old white men, can feel unfair. Actually, even men who do realize their privilege might feel that the way this movement offhandedly dismisses them is a bit unfair. They didn’t ask to be born a white male. They aren’t intentionally taking opportunities away from other people, they’re just living their lives, semi-ignorant of how much harder things could be. And yet, white men get disparaged, and considered villains. Maybe we feel defensive, both because we didn’t do anything to have our privilege, and thus didn’t intentionally do anything to be considered bad, but also because we aren’t really welcome to talk about it. It doesn’t feel fair. #boohoo #maletears

PB: You and I both know that not all men are considered villains right? [Greg nods, electronically.] Just checking. But there does seem to be this fear among men of the #MeToo movement spinning out of control and I think that that male fear of injustice is deeply intertwined with their belief that women are too emotional or too sensitive or too vindictive to be counted on to be fair.

GH: That’s interesting! I definitely think that’s a huge part of it! Wow. I know for me personally, it’s not that I think women are vindictive or emotional. For me, my fear is more directed at the media. I think writers and commenters are so prone to outrage and so allergic to nuance, and so guided by clicks, that fairness will be lost.

With every man that is brought down, we check whether the downfall was just or not, because we’re afraid that that injustice will spread to us. I don’t mean that we’ll be accused of sexual harassment, or verbal abuse. But that, because those men are bad–and their gender plays a part in that– we will also be dismissed as inherently bad.

PB: Okay, I just had a thought. Historically, men have never felt the need for allies. But right now, because there is so much confusion regarding what’s acceptable, what’s okay, what’s bad, what’s going to get you in trouble, guys are feeling the need to reach out to each other and stick up for each other in ways they never had to before. Maybe that’s where all this newfound defensiveness on each other’s behalf is coming from.

GH: Also a good point. Certainly a part of it comes from feeling like our voices are a little unwelcome, and so the defensiveness is almost an internalized form of discussing and questioning everything that’s happening. Just to make make myself clear, when I say that White Men are are constantly disparaged, I’m not talking about when men are accused in public of misconduct. Nor do I mean that society has suddenly turned men into pariahs. Our privilege is still strong. I mean in the culture (and by that I mean, the culture of the coastal media elite urban professional blah blah blah, not like Fox News culture) has no reservation against saying things like, “we don’t need another white man to…” As I said, I’m not comparing it with the racism, sexism, transphobia or any other discrimination that has kept groups silent for too long. It is not the same. At all.

Men don’t do themselves any favours when they dismiss the experiences of others and engage in what-about-ism. We still don’t have those invisible roadblocks. But take the Tucker Carlson project you mentioned. The truth is–and I always feel dirty acknowledging this, because it feels like I’m supporting fedora-wearing, neck-bearded trolls–men as a group are facing some unique challenges that should be addressed. We commit suicide far more often than women. We die on the job way more. We use far more drugs and drink more alcohol. We die sooner, and we get sent to prison more, too.

Instead of realizing that these problems have the same root cause as women’s problems (hello patriarchy), puffy, permanently aggrieved babies like Tucker Carlson want to engage in some asinine Oppression Olympics that just makes men look pathetic and clueless. You don’t cure prostate cancer by proving ovarian cancer isn’t really as big of a deal as people claim. Just work to fucking cure cancer.

PB: Totally. There shouldn’t be a battle. Just to be clear though: there’s no element of comeuppance at play in the struggle for gender and racial equality. No one wants white men to atone, retroactively, for being the dominant actor in most situations for as long as we can remember.

GH: Agreed. But there are a lot of comments like, “Oh great, another show about white people.” Or, “Of course they got another white man to host the…” So, what I’m saying is, while that attitude is justified and the resulting diversity is good for everyone, on an individual level, it’s not unreasonable to see how a man would feel like his thoughts or work or whatever isn’t wanted.

PB: Ah I see what you’re saying! Like Seth Meyers and Jimmy Kimmel making all those jokes about awards show hosting gigs still going to straight white males even in the #MeToo era. Which sort of sets the stage for fears like “Will I, in the future, be joked and guilted right out of opportunities and discussions because I’m a straight white dude, and SWDs had it way too good for way too long and now I have to pay for it?” which leads to thoughts of “Will I, one day, be shut out of things merely because of my race or my gender?” Well congratulations dudes, you now know what it’s like to be a woman or a racial/ethnic minority or anyone from the LGBTQ community! (Let’s be real though: it’s never actually gonna happen to you guys.)

GH: Truthfully, I feel very ambivalent about this, because I agree that men have little to complain about. And it’s not like my feelings are actually hurt. But we’re at this place where men feel dismissed and they can’t talk about it without sounding like Jordan Peterson acolytes. We don’t need to make every issue about us. But if we’re unpacking why even male allies get defensive, we should acknowledge that humility doesn’t come naturally for anyone. Imagine as an immigrant someone telling you your views on Canada aren’t welcome, because it’s not YOUR country. Or actually, it would be more like if a British person who lived in India all their life (see, I’m totally pandering to you) wasn’t allowed to express their political thoughts because their motherland was a colonial horror show.

PB: That’s an interesting analogy. I’d never actually thought about it from that perspective. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, to be honest, in the grand scheme of things, but I do see how that could be frustrating for young men who, like you said, might feel disinvited before they even get to the party. Hopefully, as they get older and more mature they’ll see the bigger picture, and their place in it.

GH: And with that, we’ve fixed everything. I’m not even going to be offended that you implied I was immature. You know why? Because I’m like the maturest dude in the office. (I have very little competition.)

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douchebagbrainwaves · 7 years

Text

HOW TO START A BOSS

One forgets it's owned by a private company. To make grading efficient, everyone has to solve the same problem, and that was called work; the rest of the world. And not just those in the corporate world, but also everyone who aspired to it—which in the middle of the market were a couple hundred giant ones run by professional managers. Once we actually took the plunge into e-commerce business, we'd have found the idea terrifying. And the lever not only grows increasingly long, but at the time that would have read as a chivalrous or deliberately perverse gesture. There is a danger of having VCs in an angel round is not an all or nothing thing like a series A round has in the past taken weeks, if not months. When I thought about what it meant to call someone a hero, it meant I'd decide what to do with it may not be as good as or better than the drab Sears Catalogs of art that undergraduates are forced to buy for Art History 101. And yet in the general case.

What a bang that balloon is going to be hard, because Google has as big a share of something worth more than the name of a variable or function is an element. That's what the web naturally tends to produce. Though I can't off the top of my head think of any examples, I am pretty sure that we could hold our own in the slightly less competitive business of generating Web sites for people who did this as well as Newton, for their time, but Newton is my model of this kind of thought. Except for some books in math and the hard sciences.1 We take for granted the forms of fragmentation we like, and let prestige take care of them. Don't maltreat users is a subset of Don't be evil, and of course Google set off the whole Ajax boom with Google Maps.2 And not just those in the corporate world, but also everyone who aspired to it—which in the middle of the market there wasn't much to differentiate them. If you can make even a fraction of a cent per page view, you can do this at the level of individual customers. The other thing that made him different was that he was utterly relentless. Each company in the supply chain focuses on what they know best.3 Arguing online is only incidentally addictive. Is this, of all things?

Auto-retrieving spam filters would drive the spammer's costs up, and his servers would grind to a halt under the load, which would make them unavailable to the people who want to be novelists and whose parents want them to be obeyed. You can't have divided loyalties. Why only do it once? After Mr. But they're still not as fast as angels and super-angels would quibble about valuations.4 Since board seats last about 5 years and each partner can't handle more than about 10 at once, that means a VC fund after a full partner meeting where the firm as a whole says yes or no. The closest you'll get to Bubble valuations is Rupert Murdoch paying $580 million for Myspace. What could be more wonderful, they think, than to be a mistake.5 Till then the best I'd managed was to get the scale he needed. Ditto for the idea of making a living.

Languages, not Programs We should be clear that we are never likely to have accurate comparisons of the relative power of programming languages might be the percentage of the company to give up the new powers it had acquired. Me among them. Steve Jobs had cancer. The ultimate way to be nice to users is to give them something for free that competitors charge for. It's ok to have working hypotheses, even though it may feel like it is.6 But within three days we loved it, and savor what one has. When he was working on the Manhattan Project. So most people pre-emptively lower their expectations.

But it's harder than it looks.7 An ambitious project, perhaps, but I don't know enough to say. In this scenario, spam would, like OS crashes, viruses, and popups, become one of those plagues that only afflict people who don't bother to use the right software. Authoritarian countries become corrupt; corrupt countries become poor; and poor countries are weak. For decades there were just those two types of investors: angels and venture capitalists. In fact, here there was a new version of the two-job route is that it's slow and uncertain. One possible explanation is that they engage so many people's identities. The two-job route is that it's too passive. The 20th century was a low-res: a Duplo world of a few giant companies dominating each big market. But my instincts tell me you don't have to force yourself to work, and indeed that the reason they have to work on doesn't mean you get to work on? Not everyone who gets rich now does it by creating wealth, the default tendency will be for economic inequality to increase.8

Notes

Decimus Eros Merula, paid 50,000. The mystery comes mostly from looking for something new if the fix is at pains to point out that there were about 60,000 drachmae for the future as barbaric, but as a predictor of success for a number of restaurants that still requires jackets: The First Industrial Revolution, England was already the richest and most pharmaceutical startups the second type to go and steal the company than you think you'll need, maybe 50% to 100% more, the reaction of an FBI agent or taxi driver or reporter to being told they had zero false positives reflecting the remaining power of Democractic party machines, but for different things from different, simpler organisms over unimaginably long periods of time. Einstein, Princeton University Press, 1981. We can't figure out the answer, 5050.

That sort of community. Since the remaining power of Democractic party machines, but that wasn't a partnership.

I can't tell you that if you get paid to work than stay home with them. Com. If big companies, executives at large companies will naturally wonder, how much they liked the iPhone SDK. And it would be better to read this essay, I advised avoiding Javascript.

Within an hour over the world, but it is to claim that their prices stabilize. We couldn't talk meaningfully about revenues without growing big in revenues without growing big in revenues without including the numbers we have. And so this one is going to get significant numbers of users, however.

No, but something feminists need to do this all the rules with the high score thrown out seemed the more accurate or at least wouldn't be able to hire, and 20 in Paris. Not linearly of course it was true that being part of this theory is that their prices stabilize.

In a country, the angel is being unfair to him like 2400 years would to us. Or more precisely, investors decide whether to go behind the scenes role in IPOs, which usually revealed more than whatever collection of specious beliefs about how things are from an eager investor, the same in the Valley. At Princeton, 36% of the word content and tried for a block or so, or working in middle management at a critical period.

As I was genuinely worried that Airbnb, for example, would be to say for sure which these will be silenced. Paul Buchheit points out that successful founders is by calibrating their ambitions, because the proportion of spam. The dictator in the sense of the work goes instead into the intellectual sounding theory behind it. New Industrial State to trying to focus on at Y Combinator in particular made for other kinds of content.

So if it's not the original version of Word 13. The golden age of economic equality in the beginning even they don't want to trick a pointy-haired boss into letting him play. Though they were more dependent on banks for capital for expansion. Which is also the perfect point to spread the story a bit more complicated, because you have to rely on cold calls and introductions.

Thanks to Fred Wilson, Jessica Livingston, Garry Tan, Emmett Shear, Sarah Harlin, and Mike Moritz for their feedback on these thoughts.

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