#I’m just mad bc this is unnecessarily complicated

[herstarburststories]

(He Isn't) A Good Guy

Kinktober day 15: humiliation kink

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Summary: Jensen is tired of everyone saying he's a good guy.

Warnings: dirty talk (kind dark bc of the kink), handjob, p in v, riding, cheating, possessive, slapping

You have to be careful with what you're good at. You might just end up doing it for the rest of your life.

Jensen Ackles never caught the appeal of that saying. If you were really that good at something, why wouldn't you want to do it?

Such a mindset was as constant as a mother’s love and made Jensen's loyal company for a long time during his career. He pictured it would last forever: the head pats, positive criticism, and his charm that caught more and more fans. The Hollywood man was happy, really. He grew to be a good — if not great — actor. He had a wife and three kids that were the love of his life. He could go anywhere and find a job through the instantaneous recognition that Supernatural bestowed upon him, not to mention its gift of a best friend, Jared, and the raw amount of personal growth he went through. 

He was perfect in the most diversified aspects of his life, and, God, it was boring as fuck.

Whatever Jensen did, he was excused for it. Plenty of people would light themselves on fire for him (and hey, don’t think he was ungrateful for that), but being called a good guy that apparently couldn’t do any wrongs while the rights came out even in his sleep could be devastatingly annoying.

He thought he might have some problem, perhaps even a middle-aged crisis. Come on, who, with his life, would feel compelled to look for something else? Ackles had the money, the friends, and family. He had everything everyone dreamed about, but he just wanted to wake up.

Then, he met you.

You were the woman in her twenties who was barely starting in the media business, yet you had enough luck and talent to evoke the CW's attention that early. They wouldn't hire you as an official director, but you were in the training process. You were a prodigy, as most people on the set liked to joke about.

You sighed, slightly frustrated about the direction these takes were going. Asking Ackles to follow orders was roughly the same as punching a wall; the brick didn't break, and it only left you with scuffed knuckles and growing irritation. “Jensen, you need to tilt your head to the side or we won't be able to catch her face on camera.” 

“I'm doing that,” he said as if it was obvious.

“The camera doesn't agree with you.” You crossed your arms, tired of having this heated squabble again.

“I know how to shoot sex scenes, Y/N. I've been doing that for—”

You interrupted him: “I'm aware of how long the show I'm working on has been going, Jensen. Now, take my hint and do as I say. I get that you have done this before, but we are trying a new position, so your M.O. might not work.” You knew he was a good actor. Supernatural wouldn't be what it was if it wasn't for his character. Still, you needed this episode to be perfect in terms of filming. It was your first actual chance to prove how worthy you were. Jensen had his career and little apple pie life settled, but you had to scratch and squirm to insert yourself into the industry. You knew what you were doing. Nonetheless, you attempted to pacify his self-assurance by being assertive and gentle at the same time: “Just listen to me and try it. Please.”

The green-eyed man opened his mouth, very much ready to spit out a contradicting retort, but at the last second, he clamped his jaw shut and opted for a smirk instead. “Yeah, boss.”

It was the first time in years that someone actually came at him. Jensen felt the bruise aching his ego that spiked a sudden pressing need to puff out his chest and say I know what I am doing. Why don't you watch? 

He'd call that the Texan man behavior, alpha macho testosterone levels on high, but, honestly, he was just mad that someone had the audacity to talk to him like that, as if he was a rookie on his job. Jensen's whole body heated up, his jaw clenched, and his breath caught on his throat when he glanced at you — of course, he'd never put a hand on a woman, but God, that was infuriating. He wasn't a middle school child in need of a lecture.

But this was his first impression. As you gave everyone fifteen minutes to relax before shooting again, he went to his trailer, gait unnecessarily heavy like a child throwing a tantrum. Jensen locked his trailer and closed his eyes, trying to pick out his emotions — how long have it been since he got mad? That couldn't be healthy.

Do as I say. Your words were echoes in his head, spinning and making him dizzy. Just listen to me.

And the look you gave him. It wasn’t adoration as a fan or nervousness like a new worker. You didn’t excuse him as anyone else did. You glanced at him as you would to any other person on the set that had made a mistake: you pointed it out and didn't offer any sugarcoating to dull the blow.

It felt refreshing.

Shaking your head at the scene unrolling on the other side of the camera, you let out an exhausted sigh. This was your second directed episode, and Jensen wasn't making it easy for you. He always seemed like such a nice guy, yet you weren't surprised by his mulish behavior. You had called him out, and now he was turning it back around on you. Celebrities were complicated on their one, but male ones even more. Their egos required a role for themselves.

“Everyone, ten minutes!” you announced, placing the headphones on the table next to you. Your crew started dispersing, Ackles included, when his name left your lips: “Jensen, c'here.”

The green-eyed man arched his eyebrows, not sure why you wanted to talk to him so privately. Still, he approached you.

When you were a kid, you went through a phase when your smile wasn’t very pretty. It was too much teeth, eyes too tight, and head lifted high enough to show under your chin. Your parents couldn't just up and tell you that it looked terrible, obviously, so they just showed you multiple pictures until you decided that you didn't like something about it.

Maybe that would work with Jensen.

You patted the chair next to you, and Jensen sat there with a wisp of hesitation. You clicked on the scene you had been trying to get right for almost an hour. The replay went smoothly, Ackles's shoulders shrugging by the end. He didn't see the fuss about this.

“Seems good,” he said nonchalantly. 

You squinted your eyes at him. Someone as talented as him couldn't be serious about not seeing a problem with how ridiculous his vampire transformation through the last season was. “Seems like a sitcom”

“It's a dumb scene.” Jensen shrugged.

You groaned. “Can't you just accept that you can do better?”

Jensen crossed his arms and straightened his posture, holding a defensive atmosphere around him. God, he was infuriating sometimes. “Maybe you can. I've been doing great for years. You might not be the right director for this kind of show.”

“Just do as I said. You're in the scene, but I'm the audience. I can see right through you. I'm seeing things from another perspective and trying to tell you how to improve. That's what a director is for. Go ahead and try it!”

Your friendly conversation with the lead apparently had the opposite effect. As soon as he went back to his place in front of the camera, Jensen Ackles appeared to acquire the stubborn, incredibly unprofessional desire to take on all the worst camera angles only to get on your nerves.

“Are you kidding me!?” You elevated your voice, furious at how careless he was. All your patience has been zapped. “You're doing it on purpose. How can you be so petty?”

“Me? Petty!?” he said between gritted teeth, almost hissing as he walked to you. “I've been playing Dean for years. I know him more than—”

“I know. You do a big job with that character, but Jensen, you make mistakes. It's part of the process. You're a grown-ass man, so you can take what I'm saying and make something useful out of it. I'm the director; you are the actor. I don't care about how long you’ve been on this stage, and I don’t care for incompetence. You ain't doing good, so do as I say and fix it.”

Jensen tensed up when you said that, exhaling shortly while his eyes glued on you. You were half his age, yet the way you presented yourself — arms stiffly crossed, eyes ablaze and chin lifted — spoke of your power on this film set. At the end of the day, he was just a man, and he was in your court. Just like that, you held all control. He bit his bottom lip, neck red with the heat of anger and adrenaline that lashed through his body.

He was furious, yet all his body could do was react as if you had kissed him instead of punching his ego.

Anger and luxury both came from the same place. They were just different branches on the same tree growing from a common seed.

The half of Supernatural's leader actor started doing it on purpose, then. Not acting in a way that could collide with his career or mess up the shooting schedule, but an occasional bitched scene here and there when he had a chance, and always when you were in charge of the scene.

He relished in it: someone treating him like a man and not an untouchable idol. A woman who would look straight in his eyes and not be too intimidated, excited, or lovey-dovey to tell him all the bad things he needed to hear. You were someone who could put him in his place.

Unfortunately, playing around can only get you so far. If you bring someone to the pool, they won't be satisfied with just one foot in the water. They'd want to swim, splash water at their friends to get them all wet and soaked too. 

What started with provocative, fuming rage and nuisance soon melted into something deadlier. It was something unmanageable, a burning fire that attracted all the wrong kinds of glances. Yet, neither of you could help but follow where the smoke signal led.

You were here, in each other's arms. It was a dirty little secret that went way beyond just an illicit affair: it was about what you two could give to each other without even asking, and what other people could never quite comprehend. . . And they didn't need to. Jensen had you, and you had Jensen. To desire and savor the result was enough.

Your hand was wrapped around his cock, moving up and down in a painfully slow rhythm. You had two legs wrapped around his, your face hanging next to Jensen's — close enough that you could kiss all of his freckles if this were out of love and not necessity — as you spoke.

“Everybody thinks you are the good guy. Little mister perfect.” Ackles groaned at the malice in your tone. He hated that — how everyone called him perfect, how every single person told him he was such a good guy. You were his only grounding force under the blinding lights. “But I know you aren't. You are nasty, disgusting, and so needy for someone to put you in your fucking place.”

The male's lips parted slightly, a pornographic moan leaving his body. This perversion felt like a hair short of sin. Who in their right mind would be so turned on by a girl half his age picking up all the worst things one could say about him, only to throw them exactly where it hurt the most?

Why, in the name of God, did he want more? Why was Jensen bucking his lips, needy noises that he never dons escaping his trembling body? Why was his cock hard as fuck, ruinining your fingers with sloppy precum while he internally begged you for more? 

It was like receiving a miracle and giving it to the devil.

“Look at you,” you continued, a smirk painted on your features, “getting fucked in your trailer by the woman who basically told you to stop whining and get your job done like a real man.” You loved being in control of the usually overconfident Hollywood star. If only his dearest fans knew how much of a submissive he was — how he just needed to be told where he belonged. 

“Y/N…” Jensen managed to say, his chest moving erratically fast. You leaned in to press your lips to his, and he whimpered. Ackles' hand slid to your waist in an attempt to pull you closer, but all he got was a slap on the arm and lack of friction on his dick. “Y/N!”

“I didn't say you could touch me, stubborn idiot.” You hissed, getting up to throw away your skirt and underwear. Jensen sniffed, feeling so ridiculous about himself. You had way too much control over him, but he couldn't really care about anything other than you touching his cock right now. Fuck composure or else. “I'm not your wife. I'm not one of your thirsty fans.” Each word came out in a harsh tone, those syllabus together had no other duty but hurt him, and he loved how they agonized in his body, redirected right to his hardness. You got free of the skirt and your soaked lace panties. “I don't need you. This?” You gestured at yourself and Ackles, a wry laughter coming out as you climbed on his lap. “I'm doing you a favor. So, you better thank me and take whatever I choose to give you. Understood?” Jensen's eyes were obsessed with your image, not leaving your face once— not even to look at his hard cock that was so close to your cunt due the new position. He just nodded, wishing that was enough to show you his piece of mind. It wasn't. You slapped his cheek and howled. “I made you a question.”

Jensen gulped, the red on his cheek from your smack couldn't compare to his blushed body. This felt so good, finally getting what he wanted. Ultimately, he blurted out: “Yes, I understand.”

“Good. Now let's put you to good use.” You winked at him, a hint of silly playfulness before you got all his length inside you at once. Both of you moaned, the unique sensation of your walls around his hard dick was marvelous. So warm, tight, and wet. Everything he deserved in one pussy, one woman. You started to move your hips up and down. “You feel so good inside me, baby. Like your cock was made for me— I think you were made just for this, to be fucked by me. What do you think?” His eyes fluttered shut, Jensen was allowing himself to get lost into you. You were heaven in sin, fucking him so nice. You weren't having his silent, though. You both had to be quiet about many things regarding to your mutual arrangement, you couldn't get more of closed mouths. Not when this was happening. You grabbed Jensen's jaw, fingertips pressing against his skin. “You better start answering me before I get out of here and go get some with a real man.”

Jensen groaned, holding your hips possessively. You knew he was one of the jealous kind, talking about other men touching you always got a reaction out of him. “I'm a real man.” 

“Show me then, baby.” A glimpse of sweetness appeared as you leaned in to kiss his lips. It didn't last much before your lips went to his neck, words coming through an open-mouthed there. “You know, they all are so caught up in your act, Jensen. The perfect texan boy, the amazing husband, the unproblematic idol…” You chortled, sending goosebumps through his whole soul. His dick was deep into you as you were riding his restlessly. “I bet you get tired of this. I bet you just want to fuck me in front of everyone sometimes, just to show them how dirty you can be.” He nodded, a soft whine leaving his lips. He was so tired of being the good guy. Only you knew him. “Like right now. You spent the whole day messing up with me, teasing me, just so you could get punished. And here we are, fucking in your trailer, while everyone is getting ready to go home.” He tried to move his hips as well, to get more of you. When you didn't stop him, Ackles winced and bucked his hips, hitting your G-spot, going deep and raw inside your tight cunt. One of his hands went to your pussy, digits pressing to your clit. Your next words came during groans of pleasure. “You should go too, baby. But you can't help it, huh? You just want go fuck me, even though I don't even care enough to send you a message to make sure you got home safe. You like it. You love that I'm not crazy about you, that I don't care.” His heart ached, but his cock only grew harder. Jensen could feel he was on the edgy. “So, you stay here instead of going home to your sweet wife. You stay here instead of hanging out with your best friend. You stay here instead of looking through your social media just to get an ego boost. Is this what a good man would do, Jensen? No... But that's okay. Men like you just need to be put in their places, and you love it.”

“Y/N!” He screamed helplessly, pulling your body closer to him when he came inside you, marking your pussy as his. A treacherous, lust stained thought was placed on his shoulders, whispering lovingly to his ear like you did your swearing: breed her, get her pregnant with your baby. Make her yours.

You had broken him, and he loved every second of it. He couldn't wait to give you the shattered pieces as a gift.

You came with an excruciating grunt right after him, all over his cock. The feeling of Jensen coming inside you always pushed you right way. You sighed happily, resting your head on his chest.

He enjoyed moments like this.

You remained there, waiting for his cock to relax inside you, get less hard before you pulled you. When it did, you pressed a quick kiss to his collarbone, walking to grab your clothes.

“Jensen,” You coughed after putting on your skirt. “I'll send you the new script tonight. Send me an email to confirm that you got it.”

What you truly wanted to say was, tell me if you got home safe. But you couldn't.

“Sure.” Jensen answered with a nod. Once again, he also wanted to say something else: thank you for giving me what I need, for seeing me. I love you. But he couldn't.

You picked up your wet panties, throwing it at him with a teasing smile before leaving the trailer.

It was enough.

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[rubberduckyrye]

Abt your 4th chapter analysis, how did you first come to the conclusion that Kokichi actually wanted to mercy kill everyone and didn't just kill both Miu and Gonta to save his ass (because the second option is what 99 percent of the fandom thinks)

How did you first come to the conclusion that the mercy kill plot in ch4 was genuine bc 99 of the theorists think this was Kokichi's lie to convince the ch4 blackened to kill the victim so that Kokichi can get away with murder.            

I'm asking not because I think you're wrong, but because I'm interested about how did you find out abt this possibility. bc pretty much everyone dismisses it.

Well when I started analyzing Kokichi, I noticed that there were discrepancies/contradictions with the idea that he only manipulated Gonta to kill Miu to save his own skin/get away with murder/for his “I am the Mastermind” plot/He wanted to prove a point of some kind.

As I’ve said before, during the first half of the trial, Kokichi very purposefully acts like he’s guilty. He purposefully draws suspicion onto himself by:

Sharing knowledge that conflicted with the lie that he never went to the roof (I.E. Knowing about the brick handrail when you can’t see it from anywhere besides the roof)

Leaving himself off of the suspect list, to make himself more guilty/sneaky

Acting nervous when his lie about not going to the roof was called out for him knowing about the brick handrail

Keeping quiet about information that would have proven Kokichi’s innocence long before the class could suspect him (his special avatar settings)

Intending to have Gonta in the Virtual World put the toilet paper back where it was, so no one would figure out the murder weapon or the means of Gonta escaping the rooftop (giving Gonta a pseudo alibi)

And, he also manipulates Shuichi in the investigation by:

Tailing him and making sure no one could get involved with Shuichi’s investigation, effectively isolating Shuichi as much as possible

Steering Shuichi away from Gonta being the culprit, despite knowing 100% Gonta killed Miu

And, to top it off, Kokichi’s outburst in the cafeteria going from a harmless prankster to threatening someone’s life, to which even Kaito noticed something was really off about him. After the trial, Kaito also points out that Gonta and Kokichi both lost it after seeing the Secret of the Outside World.

Also, the aftermath of the trial is inconsistent as well. Kokichi cries from the whole ordeal, and after Gonta’s execution, Kokichi is hanging his head and completely silent until he’s addressed

He also begs to die with Gonta (not in replace of, mind you, since we already know by this point that Kirumi couldn’t have a replacement for her execution) and has a lot of lines that imply guilt, grief, and self hatred

And during the trial, Kokichi gets viciously angry at Gonta and lashes out like we’ve never seen him before

He says that he was faking/lying about his crying over Gonta, only because he wanted to “calm Gonta down” or keep him from getting mad

Now, with all of these facts laid out, you can start to see why those other theories don’t line up.

First interpretation: Kokichi wanted to prove a point that you can’t trust people

This is contradicted by Kokichi’s actions in making himself suspicious and not immediately giving his alibi/bringing the fact that his avatar had special settings that made it impossible for him to kill Miu

This is also contradicted by Kokichi steering Shuichi away from Gonta during the investigation

He makes things unnecessarily risky for himself in that he acted like the guilty party and nearly died because of it, and had he been chosen as the blackened, he would die with only a short few minutes for a “Ha ha I told you so!” after the trial ends. And that is really stupid.

Second interpretation: Kokichi was only using Gonta to further his mastermind plot/make himself look more evil

This plot is contradicted by, yet again, him hiding the fact he himself was innocent and steering Shuichi away from the truth, as if all he wanted was to use Gonta for his mastermind plot, he sure dragged it out for no fucking reason/made unnecessary and risky complications where if Gonta had actually hidden the toilet paper as he was told, Kokichi would have been voted for as the blackened and his plot would be screwed over anyway

Third interpretation: Kokichi used Gonta to save his own skin before Miu murdered him

This is, yet again, contradicted by Kokichi not immediately outing Gonta/proving his own innocence/steering Shuchi away from the truth. If he really wanted to save his own skin, why would he make himself look guilty and risk dying in the class trial instead of completely outing Gonta from the start? That’s extremely counter productive.

Fourth Interpretation: He was just doing all of this to fuck with everyone

This is yet again contradicted by how Kokichi basically nearly died during the trial because of him acting like the culprit--and we’ve seen Kokichi mess around during cases before, and those are very different than this.

This is also contradicted by Kokichi’s rage during the trial, as if he was actually doing this to fuck with everyone, this would be exactly what he wanted and he would be enjoying it, not throwing a rage fest

Those are the major interpretations I can think of, though you can probably do combinations but still have contradictions (I.E. Kokichi was using Gonta to save himself & messing with everyone--this being contradicted by the rage during the trial)

And when you think about it (or any logical contradiction towards it hasn’t been made known to me and be actually irrefutable) the only thing that doesn’t fall to inconsistencies and contradictions is this: Kokichi saw the Secret of the Outside World, fell into despair, and in his grief, threw away his original plan of maybe usurping the role as the mastermind/this Killing game must be a show being watched by an audience/his previous deductions in favor of mass mercy killing the rest of his classmates before they could see the mind breaking truth and fall into despair like he had.

Miu’s plan probably only pushed him further into his plot, having one of two friends he trusted planning on betraying him, and deepened the grief that he was truly alone.

He only back pedals out of the plan during the trial due to his rage, probably brought on by the fact that he wasn’t able to determine Gonta was “lying” despite knowing he had to be lying. Since Gonta didn’t know he was lying, he didn’t have any reason not to believe he was telling the truth. Due to Kokichi’s paranoia (probably also amplified by Miu) he probably came to the conclusion that Gonta was far more manipulative than he originally thought and probably assumed that Gonta was manipulating/using him to get away with murder.

Anyway, in the end, it’s upsetting that the mass mercy kill plot goes overlooked and ignored, even when you stop to think about it, all other possibilities have some kind of contradiction.

In the end, everyone is still valid in interpreting what they’d like, but these are just my thoughts and reasons as to why I’m convinced otherwise.

[regalia-of-wisdom]

Why Vanitas and Marluxia can come back if they want to and Nomura didn’t retcon.

‪Ok so on twitter I said that I wasn’t gonna write this bc I didn’t wanna be called a KH3 apologist but then my friends were like “you’re a kh3 apologist anyways just do it” so I did it. I love KH and theorizing and analyzing everything and it’s great, but also it’s 2 am, and also Nomura really needs to consider writing these things down somewhere before releasing these games. Also stop recycling villains, dammit.

Sorry that I can’t line break. I’m writing on mobile rn :/ it’s a long post.

‪Ok I’m too lazy to go on the wiki or something and re read these but on the very first KH (or maybe it was in the Secret Ansem Reports in KH2...?? ANYWAYS IN ONE OF THOSE) it is stated that, according to the metaphysics of the Kh universe, a person is made up of a body, a heart‬, ‪and a soul. Bc the main lore of kh doesn’t mention it much not many players seem to remember or know what the “soul” is, especially since it’s clearly not supposed to be the same thing that westerners think of as a soul (that would be a heart in KH-metaphysics)‬.

‪So all we ever get in the series is people losing their hearts, which is synonymous to someone going fucking catatonic and emotionless bc they don’t have a soul (think Kairi in KH1), or just overall disappear bc of darkness related hijinks that cause complications.‬

‪Like, Kairi in KH1 was alive, y’all. She had a breathing pattern and open eyes and everything, she just didn’t have a heart. She’s the only example we have of this (unless you want me to include Aurora in BBS lol), because she’s the only one whose body wouldn’t react to darkness related hijinks (Darkness, as you all know, is quite annoying).‬ This means that, clearly, not having a heart doesn’t mean you’re a corpse. It’s probably more like you going in a coma. Nobodies in Org XIII aren’t walking corpses. They’re just ppl without a soul. (AKA a heart). They’re like, psychopaths? Sam in that one season of Supernatural? you know, just a bunch of ppl that don’t have to deal with pesty issues like guilt or ethics.

(If you’re wondering why Kairi’s catatonic body in KH1 isn’t a Nobody it’s bc Nobodies are dependent on Darkness. Only hearts that have turned to heartless (darkness) create Nobodies, and Nobodies are born with the ability to open dark corridors and control heartless and do whatever they want. Like, they technically have access to both light and dark (and. Void? I guess?) but they’re very obviously leaning more towards the side of darkness. Not that they’re inherently dark creatures, but that they are just yet another life form in KH that owes its existence to Darkness. Kairi, as we all will never forget, has no darkness bothering her and complicating her life. Sora’s the one that had enough darkness and body and soul to spare to create two nobodies out of thin air. What the fuck dude.)

Of course if you played DDD you’d be like “uh, but Xemnas said that Nobodies can grow hearts uhhh” and id be like yeah he did and it makes a lot of sense especially if you had watched/Played Re: Coded and payed attention to the juicy lore bits instead of the main plot like I’ve been saying forever. However unimportant the plot is, Re: Coded’s storyline literally exists to say that anything with a Body and a (what KH calls a) Soul (Like, say, the person made out of data that you’re playing as throughout the game) has the ability to grow a heart and become a person. The entirety of Jiminy’s Journal becomes a world a la Winnie the Pooh, obtaining its own heart. Like, it’s a book and it was made and it’s kind of fake but it developed its own sense of self, and developed a heart. Like, it was literally pointed out to us. Data Sora lives beyond his programming (just like, hey, Tron.) bc he developed a sense of self. A personality. A heart. He even makes his own Keyblade, that’s how much heart he mad. With a lesson like that being thrown at us, why wouldn’t the Organization XIII Nobodies eventually be able to develop their own sense of self? To go beyond what they thought their “original” selves were like, and become able to feel? Not to say they do, mind you. I think a lot of them, or all of them, like Axel in the beginning of Days, were so stuck on what they thought their original self was like that they were just following through the motions and doing what a data program would consider its “programming”. Axel only began to grow a heart once he stopped trying to be Saïx’s friend, and started to go beyond what his memories were telling him he should act like and do what he felt like he needed to act like.

Anyways now at this point you’re probably like, “what does this have to do with Villains in KH always coming back…” and I’m gonna get to that jeez hold on a minute, I just felt like I needed to explain what a heart was for this to be clearer to people. What are the functions of a heart, and what it ultimately serves. I needed to explain this, because losing a Heart does not mean you are dead, losing your Soul does.

The Soul in KH should probably be referred to as Spirit, as I think it reflects the idea better, while keeping basically the same word. (Unfortunately we already have things called Spirits in KH, and they’re adorable darkness creatures, so.) It’s supposed to be the energy that makes something move. It’s the Will to Live. The fact that the soul seems to be synonymous with will is important, bc only people with a “Strong Will”, that become heartless, create Nobodies. The Will in this case is clearly the energy source that provides a body with sustenance. With life. Pinocchio was given a soul by the blue fairy so he could move (the heart, I think, he made himself due to Geppetto's own feelings). The love of children give the toys in Toy Story a will to protect, love, and be played with. Terra’s will was so damn strong, it reanimated his armor. Terra’s Will to live makes his armor move on its own. Look, it’s even called The Lingering Will. What does this mean? That only a body and a heart that has lost its soul, that loses its energy source (its lifestream, I suppose) undeniably dies.

No one, absolutely no one in KH, has lots their soul. Ok, not true, obviously there are some exceptions, particularly regarding the Disney villains, but I’m talking abt the story original characters that Nomura loves to recycle so much. No one has lost it bc pretty much almost no one we fight is ever a complete human being. They’re always missing vital parts of themselves. Ansem the Seeker of Darkness was humanoid Heart walking around. Xemnas and the Organization were a few bodies and souls walking around with maybe a mini heart or two. Vanitas is literally the most incomplete being I can think of. He’s literally half a heart, half a body, and half a soul. The dude is a mess. Master Xehanort… MX is clearly using loopholes and luck to keep himself surviving this long. By now, he’s made a complete and utter mess of Terra, who got literally split into 3 entities for 10 years, while he himself is really only a floating heart and a soul ruining everything. Young Xehanort is a complete being that should probably watch out for decapitation or something, but we can certainly rule out that Riku would kill him because I mean. Y’all have met Riku, right? Also he’s just obviously alive lmao.

The fact that these beings are incomplete is important bc the keyblade, our weapon of choice, is a mysterious artifact that serves very specific functions. It opens and locks anything, specifically the hearts to a world and the pathways that lead to other worlds. It seems to exist to bring balance and stability to… anywhere it’s at, really. It’s a magical item with magical intentions. Now, I’m not gonna sit here and say what I’m about to say as if it’s proven fact that I read in an interview or deduced myself or something, I will admit that my next point is in theoretical territory, but that doesn’t make it any less likely or probable. And that is that the Keyblade can not kill people. That is to say, it can not kill a soul. It can only break apart, or reunite parts of a person, but not destroy them. “Killing” heartless restores them to their original state: a heart, and killing nobodies does the same. Xehanort and Sora stabbed themselves to get their hearts out of their bodies and created heartless and nobodies in the process. It’s like the laws of thermodynamics or something. It seems to me that that is the nature of a keyblade.

So, inclusion, nobody has died in KH. The end. This is unnecessarily long but I get like that sometimes. There is one last point that I have to address but I might do that tomorrow, if anyone gives a shit by then. Good night!

[acetechne]

So for those of you who don’t follow western canadian news as much as I do let me catch you guys up a little. it’s been escalating so fast I had to restrain myself from making comics.

First of all, you remember Plategate? well after arguing for weeks about whether to meet in Lloydminster or in Medicine Hat or whatever we decided we’d had enough and called a truce out of sheer exhaustion, and then you have sask politicians saying ‘lol we’re agreeing to a truce after alberta decided to stop the beer thing which was the Thing we Were Definitely Mad About in the first place” and then ab politicians screaming back that ‘you cant just change your mind about what you’re mad about halfway through and this literally is none of your business anyway’ and just a generally embarrassing denouement to this whole blasted affair.

it was basically written off as Brad being a massive tool and just trying to make it look like his government was actually doing something about the tire fire that is sask poli right now by doing everyone’s favourite national activity and Blaming Albertans. He was doing his usual “oh but the ndp are evil” to see if it would make everyone forget all the massive cuts he did to transit and libraries and all that austerity crap and I for one am hoping it Didn’t Work but lmao

and then we already figured bc wasn’t going to be orange crush friends so this is happening now and we continue to be the #1 angry and unnecessarily petty province, in your face sask.

So we’re in a trade war kind of.

and I’m Not Kidding. This is a Thing.

it would be really nice if we could all get along and our politics didn’t depend on punching our neighbours with one hand and slapping the federal government around with the other but like haha its What We Do Best :^) as usual my personal feelings on this particular issue are Complicated and you’re welcome to discuss them with me privately but tl;dr i live in both ab and bc and my feelings on both sides of the issue can be summed up with

[paleconda]

blog- 9th february.

i- as an american doing pretty damn well job of pulling off as british- do not like to do american-like things. such having having wet and cringe humour, being unnecessarily loud, being blatantly ignorant on world culture/affairs (no offence), and especially opening myself up. one thing i’ve noticed is that brits always keep to themselves and rarely discuss thier deep feelings and thoughts with other people. they’re not very open to tel you their life story, and i’m the same way.not to say that i’m not down to earth, bc i very much am. i just stay quaint when it comes to public situations. that being said, my journey and story on my sexuality is very personal, deep and complicated, and unfortunately, i feel like i have to go into massive detail on what’s all happened and how it’s impacted me. it’ll make me vulnerable, but easier to understand and empathise with. this is going to be a particularly long read tho.

the date is 07/07/2010. it was the summer before the 7th grade and i had just realised my sexuality only a few months earlier. the worst night of my life. the night my parents found out about my sexuality. i was only 12. but the way the found out was rather quite stupid and embarrassing (no i wasn’t wanking and it wasn’t porn). at the time, i didn't have a phone. and my favourite show would come on at 1 am. but i didn't feel like staying up late, so what i did was borrow my grandmas phone and set an alarm. well in the alarm it had an option for a message. well my dumbass self put “get the hell up you bisexual fucker”. yeah. well, when my grandma went to puerto rico for a funeral, she left her phone bc she wouldn’t have any service over there. and i had forgotten to take off that alarm. so my mom is just going thru the phone (idk why) and she happens to come across it. she calls me downstairs and confronts me about it. after about 10 minutes what seems like an interrogation ( and me not talking, i felt as tho i had no choice but to admit it). they started crying and told me how its never okay even if the world says it is, and they brought up sodom and gomorrah and told me i needed to have a long prayer. my relationship with them hasn't never really been the same since then. so after that, i kinda ignored thinking about my sexuality. i would just go thru my day, occasionally look at gay pictures at night, then go to sleep. then, toward the end of 7th grade, i ended up taking nudes and sending them on http://showyourdick.com (terrible, i know) and they. ended. up. seeing. the. pics. it made things a shit tonne worse. i was still closeted at school, i had been accused of being gay as early as 4th grade, before i even knew i was gay (im actually bi/pan, but lets just use the word gay for now). fast foward to the beginning of 9th grade (late 2012). i had already been stanning nicki for almost a year, but i was still closeted. i also had a tumblr account(not this one). not only did i still kinda feel bad about being gay, but i was terribly insecure as well. i ended up starting to cut myself around late September. but for a while it was only on my thighs bc i didnt want anyone to see. later, in january 2013, i was feeling really depressed one night, and i kinda went on a cutting tirade. (trigger warning) i even cut my arm. i remember feeling the warm blood running down my leg and feeling dizzy, with my ears fogging up and nearly passing out in the bathroom. this next part may sound wierd. maybe its just me, maybe it was the fogging in my ears, idk. but i remember hearing nickis voice, almost aloud, and she said Stop. crazy init.  the next morning, i got really scared, bc my sleeve wouldn't completely cover up the scars. well, one of my teachers saw (i still dont know who) and reported it to the office, and one of the guidance counselors called my parents and told them. another really bad day. the next day, my guidance counselor called me down, even the principle came in the room. they told me they were sending me to a place where i would have therapy. i agreed to it, but i wasnt aware that i would be forced to spend 3 nights there. its called being Baker Acted.  the deputy at my school called my mom and told her where they were taking me but they didn't tell her i was required by law to spend 72 consecutive hours there. so when she came to pick me up that night, thats when she found out. needless to say she was crying. alot. and as if it wasn't bad enough, it just so happened to be her wedding anniversary.  i end up relapsing 2 more times after that whole ordeal. the last time was march 9th, 2013. so things temporarily improve for the summer. i ended up (finally) coming out to my closest friends. but i never made a big deal out of it. like i never made a big post on facebook or IG or anything. I kinda just let people figure it out and have their own assumptions. so september rolls around and i end up getting depressed again (september is always a bad month for me) but i promised myself i wouldnt cut myself again. so i end up overdosing. alot. 7 pills at a time. (it was just vyvanse tho, its not like it was percs or oxycodone.) so my parents went thru my texts and they found out about what i was doing and thats when the trust begins to deterioate again. they would always take away my phone at night. they said its bc of some report they saw on the news where having your phone in your room while your sleeping is unhealthy (which.. they were right. but it’s ovbious that wasn’t the real reason they took it.) it was bloody annoying. but back then, they would only take it on school nights, and sometimes i would sneak it back, and although they got mad, they wouldn't really do anything about it. also, as you could’ve probably guessed, i had downloaded a couple of gay apps because i was curious. the first time i downloaded grindr, i was in the 8th grade. and it wasn't the only app i would download. there was also hornet and jack’d. well, theres this one guy who i ended up talking to. and i end up sending nudes to him on kik. and my parents end up going through my kik. this was in december 2013. my horny self was just tryna hookup. welp. they see the messages. things go downfuckinghill fast. they barge into my room, one second they're yelling at me shoving the screen in my face and then the next thing I know my dad is shoves me down and kicks me multiple times, and my mom ends up calling the police and filing a report. to say it was traumatising is an understatement. but because it's kik, theres not much they can do. this renders me phoneless all the way until june of 2015. and at this point i wanna take a little bit of a detour. bc i almost feel as though my life as a normal teenager has been robbed.

some of you may ask why i didn’t move in with relatives or just file a report to social services.

they wouldn't let me. and bc they're broke and aren't good at finances, that's what they (we’re) doing anyway. my family is living with my grandparents for like the 4th time since i was born. so they change the password in my phone and im only allowed to use it when they say (this is february 2014, roughly) and i have to be in the same room as them. and then in march, something goes wrong with my phone and it wont read the SIM card. so now i can't even call or text.  things just didn’t get better that year. its summer 2014, and now they suddenly change the password to my laptop. (they still won't tell me the password). i started crying and begged them to change it back. so they did. but just a month later, on July 11th, they change it. and its stayed that way. so now its june of 2015. they buy me a new phone, but they said there are "rules for having the phone" and they take it away every night. well, in november, i had downloaded grindr. theres this feature on my phone where i can hide an app, but one day, back in november, i forgot to hide the app. so they saw it. and they didn't even open the app (it was password locked) and i refused to give them the password. so now im phoneless.... again. and this time they wouldn't even let me use it... at all. so i went back to having to use my grandmas phone and computer to log onto Twitter. for the longest time, i could only be on twitter from 4-8pm on weekdays bc thats whenever i had access. fast foward to april 2016 and im taking a college class across town. all of a sudden, my mom hands me my phone, and im shocked. she says im only having it on a "limited basis". so for about a month, im only allowed to use it outside the house, but they eventually let up. every once in a while, we still get into an argument about it.  may 2016: its time for me to choose what college to go to. my mom had made me apply to a christian university about 30 miles away. i didnt wanna go, but the other college i had been looking at had ran into financial trouble, the big public university in my city didn't accept me, and i didn't wanna go to a community college. plus, the christian university (southeastern University) offered me a bunch of money in scholarships. and i honestly felt forced to go. by august of 2016, things start to drastically change. most of it is in a good way, but there are still some things that are... iffy, for lack of a better term. i’m beginning to lose weight and my grades are actually good for once, but my phone is still taken way at night all the way to december, when they finally stop. then in january 2017, i am finally able to buy an iphone. at this point, everything sort of catches up to the previous post. there’s still loads for me to explain but this is enough for now.

on a side note, it’s amazing how different things are for me now after looking back at all that. i still can’t believe that we are in 2019 and that i graduated high school nearly 3 years ago. i’m gobsmacked at how much i have changed since then. it’s a lot to ponder on. and i’m glad to say that i’m currently at the happiest place i’ve been in for years. maybe ever.

end.

[calmer-chameleon]

I don't understand people who send strangers 15 anons asking them about their sexuality labels and identities because who cares but I also don't understand why a woman who is married to a man and blogs about her attraction to men on like a daily basis needs to defend to death her right to call herself gay or a lesbian. Like what is the objective here from either side. And I don't mean saying 'lol im gay' when you think a person of the same gender is hot or saying you've had 'gay relationships' etc but I mean rejecting the label bi completely because of vague reasons like a supposed cissexism and instead spending half your life complaining that 'gay woman' isn't usually understood to mean 'woman who dates both men and women' and that people are surprised you have a husband when you say 'i'm a lesbian'. Like what if I decided I didn't like the word lesbian bc idk it reminds me of terfs so instead I will call myself straight and just get really mad when people will think I like men because I'm the kind of straight woman that likes only women don't you know? Like that would be generally seen as very weird. It's biphobic, it's homophobic and it just makes shit unnecessarily complicated like what is your goal here?

[rosaryteeth]

about 6, 7, 29, 32, 42; relationships 7; sex 2, 6, 11, 21, 22, 26, 41, 71, 90 THIS ONES SO FUNNY 114; toys 5; fethishes any 4 of ur choice; this or that 7, 29, 43, 60, 92 !!!

thank u my friend!!!! bless you for giving me something to do at last (answers under the cut bc there are a lot)

about:

6. What type of underwear are you wearing?just some very basic cotton panties lmao nothing sexy. they’re pink 7.What is your favorite type of underwear?

truly just like…comfortable ones, i’m pretty boring that way. i like to wear black best, and i think the cut that looks the cutest is usually called “cheeky”?? where the butt part is like…cut higher up. this is a great description

29. Do you have a favorite person or few people to fantasize about?

no not really. i usually fantasize about just like scenarios with no specific person, or reflecting fondly on an experience i’ve already had. but that gets into a weird territory bc i’m not tryna fantasize about my ex boyfriend, but there are some hot memories that come to mind too often

32. Have you ever confessed you were aroused by someone?

yes, the people i’ve had sex with, also back in the day when i was in a weird online tumblr relationship lmao

42. What is your favorite type of underwear for the opposite sex?

boxer briefs B)

relationships:

7. What do you look for in a partner?

i’ve only had one serious partner, but in general, i’m initially just looking for a certain type of energy connection?? like just a feeling, a vibe, that draws me in. i wanna find someone who is kind and genuine, makes me feel comfortable around them, similar sense of humor/interests/tastes/yknow, easy to talk to, physical attraction

sex:

2. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

i was 19 B’) i always imagined i’d be much older, i thought i’d never find someone i wanted to have sex with aha

6. Who was your best sex partner?

my ex boyfriend, for a lot of reasons. we were rlly compatible sexually, and y’know he’s the one i lost my virginity to. also in my experience, having sex with someone i loved was a whole different experience from casual hookups. and he was just pretty good at everything i’m into

11. Have you had anal sex? How was your first experience?

no, i have not. i’m not opposed, i just think i’d only want to do it with someone i loved, if they really wanted to do it. i mean i believe it can be really good

21. Have you ever been caught or walked in on while fucking?

never walked in on, but definitely caught. my ex and i were fucking at his house while no one was home, so y’know it was a little loud, and out of nowhere we just hear his mom’s voice outside his bedroom door like “HELLOOOO” and i pretty much leapt off of him. she was laughing outside the door and we heard her say something about how she really snuck up on us. we just very awkwardly got dressed and left the house as fast as possible 

22. When is the last time you had sex? Describe the experience(s).

last time i had sex was in july with a guy i was talking to for like three weeks. we’d been talking for less than a week at that point, it was a thursday night. he came to my house relatively late (it was like 10 at night i think) and i’m pretty sure he was high. it hadn’t been stated at all that we were gonna have sex that night, i think the implication was just very heavy. somehow we ended up never moving to my bedroom and fucked on the couch in the living room. so it was kind of like..physically awkward just bc my couch is rlly not meant to fit two people in such a way. then he left a bit afterwards and it was chill. not amazing bc first time with a new person is always a bit weird and the couch situation, but he went down on me for a long time before progressing into sex so i’d say his efforts were all appreciated 

26. Which celebrities would you want to have sex with?

i want mads mikkelsen and hugh dancy (but like…in character as hannibal and will) to spit roast me 

41. Have you ever been rejected? Have you ever rejected someone?

yes and yes. i got broken up with when my only relationship ended, so truly…the ultimate rejection. then my rebound hookup ultimately rejected me as well after making things unnecessarily complicated for a while, so that i had to be like “literally what is going on???” and get officially rejected. unfortunate. i’ve rejected quite a few guys. i’ve always been pretty certain when i’m not interested in someone, so i never wanna remotely lead guys on when i know they like me. i’m always nice about it, i think….i’m too nice i feel so bad rejecting people

71. Have you ever had a threesome? Describe the experience.

kind of??? it could or could not be defined as a threesome. schrodinger’s threesome. this past june, i kind of had a threesome with this couple i’m friends with. i’d never really met either of them before, but we all followed each other on instagram and had mutual friends and such. the boyfriend hit me up on instagram, casually at first, then was like “would you be interested in going on a date with us?” so he and i texted off and on for a while, because it was truly an opportunity that could not be passed up. then one night, they invited me to their house, and we all got wine drunk together, and made out a whole lot. we all ended up naked in bed, heavily making out, but no sex. then we all fell asleep and woke up at 7 am and i groggily made my way home and knocked tf out in my own bed. overall, it was a very surreal night, even if it may not actually count as a threesome.

90. Do you eat ass?

i never have, but i’m not opposed

114. Whats your longest sex session?

i’m rlly not sure? there are a couple long sessions i remember with my ex, but most of them had no time frame of reference. i’m gonna say the longest was probably the time we watched jaws and fucked through pretty much the entirety of it. so…a little less than 2 hours? i just checked imdb for the running time

toys:

5. How many toys do you own?

7??? i think. two vibrators and a couple of crystal dildos (which are the greatest thing i’ve ever stumbled upon)

fetishes (any of my choice oooo; i chose most of these bc i haven’t actually done a lot of heavy fetish stuff)

22. Do you like to hit or be hit? How hard?

i like to be hit……how hard depends on where. if i’m getting hit in the face (which i’m….here for), pretty lightly. like i wanna feel the impact of it, a slight sting, but not like….a full on slap or something. i’m just gonna lump spanking in with this since it is also another form of getting hit. hit me on the ass as hard as you want……23. Do you enjoy choking or being choked? How hard?

i want to be killed i love choking more than anything 

77. Do you like to be spit on or spit on your partner?

i like to be spit on B’) 

82. Do you enjoy giving/receiving JOIs? (Jerk Off Instructions)

i picked this question mostly just bc this sounds hot. i’ve never experienced it, but either way sounds rlly sexy?? i’d rather receive instructions i think, just bc i’m submissive and also would probably feel too awkward giving someone instructions

this or that

7. What feels better, masturbation or sex

wow i think they’re such different feelings. like i enjoy masturbation and pretty much only cum from masturbation, but most of the time masturbating feels like..something to get over with?? like the majority of the time, i just wanna cum and go to sleep, not make it a long thing. i love the entire build up to sex, and then sex itself…..so like they’re both good feelings, but obviously i’m gonna say sex is better

29. Pegging or Grinding

never done pegging, but god damn i’m here for grinding

43. Dirty Talk or Loud Moaning

i fucking love dirty talk i could die, like especially if i’m being talked to. i’m not always great at coming up with things to say, i’m better at loud moaning myself

60. Pubic Hair or None

huge fan of pubic hair 

92. Slow or Fast

alternating between both B’)