#I’m really glad they’re actually putting effort into her being autistic and didn’t just

[worm-in-a-trenchcoat]

Skulltimate Secrets Twyla comes with noise canceling earplugs!!!

I’m so happy, I need like 20 of her dolls rn 😭

[kaypeace21]

i LOVE your analysis especially byler ones so please don't take this as hate, it's the last thing i want to do. but while i love the byler theories do you actually think the duffers are smart enough to realize the potential/brave enough to follow through on the relationship. bc tbh i think our viewpoint is skewed i don't think anyone but byler shippers see the canon possibility. and also it really seems like m/leven is going to be endgame? just wanted to know more of your thought process

Even if byler never happens- I’m 100% sure mileven won’t be endgame XD. Regardless of byler, Mike and El are just not going to happen. (Even if they’re ‘dating’ in s4). I could try to explain the reasons why I think byler will be endgame though. I’ll give the cliffnotes version. This will probably be a mess- because focusing on all the reasons isn’t as good as analyzing , each reason as it’s own separate post, in depth). 

Why mileven isn’t endgame

- The duffers said, while filming ST, El was supposed to die in s1 (glad that didn’t happen). And this was also their plan when pitching their show ‘Montauk’ (later retitled ST), saying that the hypothetical  s2 sequel would be about the boys returning to their town 10 years later. Mileven was never ‘planned end-game’. They also describe mileven kissing but never mention the word ‘love’ like how Jancy was described in the Montauk pitch. Nancy’s bio says “ she will experience love for the first time.”  But when they describe mileven, they say, “If Mike is the Elliot of our show, Eleven is our “E.T.” Like that’s … not romantic, Duffers. And if it was supposed to be … WTF did you guys watch the same film? 0-O

- In the byler centric s2, the Duffers kept mileven separated. And the mileven kiss wasn’t written in the show. Millie pretty much said “they had to do it.” Much to Matt’s confusion but then the Duffers agreed. And used ‘every breath you take’ (a song about divorce), and just by coincidence their 2nd back-up  song was also a song about a divorce? Nah, they were trolling.

- Most of the women (Nancy & Max) in the show critique Mileven saying Mike treats her as if she’s stupid, can’t take care of herself, or as she is a possession. 

-in the first ep of s3 almost all the guys (who had/have gfs) Hopper, Lucas, and Dustin all criticize the mileven relationship and think it’s unhealthy.

Hopper says “ They’re spending entirely too much time together… It is constant.It is constant! Okay? That is not normal, that is not healthy! ”

Lucas mocks Mike, saying “ Oh El, I wish we could make out forever and never hang out with any of our friends.”

Dustin says when they flake on him, “It’s bullshit, I just got home!” (insert Nancy calling Stancy ‘bullshit’)

and before this  Dustin talks about Romeo & Juliet (while mileven is out of frame). R&J is all about the dangers of not knowing the difference between love and infatuation. Juliet after Romeo is banished just complains about how in love/sad she is but never pursues looking for him (sound familiar)? R&J claimed that they were in love with each other after knowing each for a few days and deciding to get married-sabotaging the closest relationships they had with their friends/family (all in the name of ‘true love’) . Similarly Mileven thought they were in love after only a week of knowing each other, and the second they are reunited they start dating and spend all their time with each other. El is allowed out of the house (and her friends are allowed to visit), but El hasn’t interacted with Max nor Will? They spend almost everyday in her room just making out. Mike puts very little effort into integrating her into his life or as part of the group. The only time they go out- is for Mike to show off El to Dustin like a possession- then before El can even do the boding activity with the group (with the radio tower)- Mike convinces her to leave to make out. They are both complicit in this and they both bring out the worst in each other and they make each other blinded to their loved ones’ feelings.

- El literally asks Max “How do I know what I like?” Do I have to explain why this could be problematic? She even says “I don’t know”, when Max asks if Mike is a good kisser.You can call me ‘ableist’ my abused-autistic ass will disagree. But El is not ready for a romantic relationship! it makes perfect sense for El to be confused by the distinctions of romantic, platonic, and familial love- when the first 12 years of her life she didn’t receive any form of love , PERIOD! And she is not like normal abuse victims (she has never had proper socialization with peers her own age or even adults).All she had was television. She latches herself on to anyone who is kind to her (something I used to do). Without Mike she used Max as a replacement almost immediately, and even starts repeating/mirroring the things she says (specifically coping phrases from her …over 6 times!). She’s also susceptible to doing what others say or want her to do, “dumping his ass” (with Max’s validation and encouragement). El might love Mike but I don’t think it’s romantic, she latched on to the first person that was kind to her. Before their first kiss she asked Mike “Will you be like my brother?” And she’s hurt when he says “no”, asking “Why not?”. He then kisses her (she watches a lot of soap operas and she assumes it must be ‘romantic love’). You’re telling me that if she was ‘in love’ with Mike she would have been that happy over dumping him? I’m not saying El is dumb for not being able to discern these things (I think people without such backgrounds may still struggle with this concept). But it makes perfect sense for El to be confused by the distinctions of various loves or even the differences between ‘crushes’ , ‘physical attraction’ and ‘romantic love’ 

- In the last ep El asks about what he said at the cabin to Max, specifying “you talked about your feelings?”. He says and I QUOTE “Oh! Oh, yeah that.Man, that was so long ago. Um…”  and starts to scratch his head. Then he excuses what he said at the cabin, saying it was “in the heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing… I don’t actually remember. What did I say exactly?”  

Now either he legitimately forgot! Or he lied! You know the thing that broke them up in the first place! The one thing that El holds as her most important value in life- honesty. And he lied- about something as important as his romantic feelings?!  Make up any excuse (about being shy/character flaws all you want), but this isn’t real life- it’s fiction (everything is done for a narrative purpose). That wasn’t an accident ( mileven wasn’t “written out of character”- like milevens claim,  the duffers were criticizing the ship on purpose) .And the fact he lied again! Wouldn’t bode well for a long term relation with each other. The whole season, criticized their romantic relationship ! That wasn’t a coincidence neither was the fact he looked confused by her confession, and kept his eyes open the whole time and didn’t kiss her back . 

And as she smiled and walked away, he looked confused. That wasn’t a directing mistake, like so many milevens are claiming! You really think they wouldn’t make sure their ‘fav ship’ didn’t have a good final kiss? 

 Especially since it was right after a romantic Jancy scene (which was directed amazingly)- where Nancy even mentions Mileven- to make us compare the 2 pairings romantic scenes even more. 

* I know I sound like an assh*le but I’m just annoyed. I’ve always censored my byler posts trying not to offend/criticize mileven. I never cross tagged my byler meta with the hashtag mileven (never will, cause it’s rude). But (without sounding pompous) my byler posts generally gets reblogged a lot- and now the milevens have seen my posts (and are sending lots of hate my way) and worst of all they’ve invaded the byler tag. Today I saw 2 posts in the byler tag saying. “We’re delusional” and “stupid”- and also in the same posts they say they “feel attacked” by us.Um… there’s a difference between byler shippers privately criticizing a ship without bothering mileven shippers (and only tagging it byler) . Versus Mileven shippers  tagging things byler (and ranting about the ship and it’s shippers). Loved the comment about how Mike can’t be bi cause “he loves El too much”.I think Mike is probably gay and in denial. But, um that’s not how being bi works- didn’t know  bi people love women and men ½ as much as the gays/straights. Thanks for informing me (rolls eyes for eternity).So kid-gloves off, nothing left to lose! Time to compare the ships.

‘The breakup’ vs ‘fight’ parallel

comedic vs dramatic! The casual sunny day vs the dramatic framing of the storm (a romantic trope) . The ‘break-up’ being a scene with multiple onlookers vs the fight being with Will and Mike only (making it more personal/intimate).  ‘Cold as ice’ playing after the mileven breakup vs the sad instrumentals playing during the byler fight. The comedic after-math at the mall. El and Max laughing, and another joke being made as the bus leaves.El’s happiness vs Will’s heartbreak.

Mike’s drastically different expressions after their fights. He looks regretful with Will, and almost annoyed with El dumping him.  The fact Mike apologized right away more than once to Will, and ran into a storm to apologize a 2nd time. But with El he just lies to cover up the first lie, and then after the break-up he just complains/lounges on the couch (not taking any responsibility). He literally says about El “Why is she treating me this way? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong?”.( He lied and made her feel “like garbage”!) Then he burps and laughs about chips- and makes sexist comments. Neither EL nor Mike are heartbroken by the breakup.

But when he angers Will (by him trying to finish the game early), he immediately tries to de-escalate saying softly “I was just joking- c’mon, let’s finish the game”. But when Will just yells back (much to Mike’s confusion) he doesn’t dismiss his feelings as irrational (like he wrongfully did to El) but chases him to the garage-  and begs him to stay since it’s raining.

In the garage, Mike immediately apologizes saying “I said I was sorry, alright. It was a cool campaign.” But after this, they fight and Mike runs into a storm to apologize a second time , and says to Will’s door “ WILL! I’m sorry I was being an asshole. Can you just come outside and we’ll talk? WILL!” He immediately takes responsibility and apologizes. And he’s desperate to resolve things. And when they find him outside castle Byers he just asks  (Mike’s catchphrase) “Will, Are you ok?”

Shed scene ( “best thing I’ve ever done” vs “the most important thing in the world to me”) parallel

When Mike says to El  “you’re most important thing to me” in the pool shed. El doesn’t even acknowledge the comment (and neither should the audience- cause the words were empty). She completely ignores his words, and responds by asking him about his previous comments. Asking whether Hopper was right about them spending too much time together.

I didn’t edit (or delete any scene after his proclamation) this is how fast it was delivered ! The framing of this mileven scene was not cinematic or heartfelt, and neither was the delivery from Mike. He’s not crying, trying to reach her with proclamations of his genuine feelings. There’s no dramatic music, framing, lighting or shot composition. And El just responds and cuts his supposed ‘true feelings’ off- only to agree with Hopper and says “ she should spend time with her own species.” And if this ‘romantic moment’ wasn’t already undermined enough. This is when Mike realizes she was spying on him , and feels wrongfully violated (something she doesn’t apologize for,  saying “I make my own rules” . He even brings this up in a later episode (this clearly bothered him)!

Juxtaposed to the MUCH longer byler scene. A literal single tear falling down his cheek as Mike , recounts the first day they met. Mike being in the back drop of darkness only his face being illuminated (having him appear like a guiding light to Will). Saying “ I felt so alone and  so scared… but you were alone too” (alone together/crazy together) .  He then talks about asking Will to be his friend, and then he pauses and breaks eye contact , before looking him in the eye and smiling (lost in the memory) saying softly “you said yes, you said yes.” (cough like saying yes at a wedding).

So, after he says “you said yes, you said yes.” It’s important to mention that he takes a deep breath and breaks eye contact again, (looking down and to the side) as he says this line. Subconsciously, I believe he knows this line is romantic and he’s too afraid to say it to his face. Only flicking his eyes up to look at Will  after he finishes the entire sentence, and to gauge Will’s reaction.

This whole monologue is only of tight shots of just their faces (their bodies aren’t shown like in the pool shed scene). This is a personal moment between them and them alone- and the fact we zoom in on their faces (expresses this to be important emotionally) . And when we see Will’s reaction to Mike saying “it was the best thing I’ve ever done”. We just see Will’s face only- no music is playing and all we hear is  Will’s whimpers and Mike crying in the background.

“ Blank makes you Crazy” vs “ Crazy Together parallel

When Mike tries to confess his “love” to El he says “Well they do say it makes you crazy”… much to El’s confusion.He has to try to explain it a second time to El- who just gets even more confused, by his ‘confession’. Saying “you never heard that expression? Like blank makes you crazy … like the word (love)?”

But when Mike says he “feels like he’s going crazy” Will immediately responds with “Me too”. Mike even smiles at the comment. So that moment in s2 means more than we think, when Mike (with tears in his eyes) smiles at Will’s comment and asks them to go “crazy together”.And when Will responds back “yeah, crazy together” (who also has tears in his eyes). They even linger on the moment as they just smile and stare at each other.

Mike is in denial, and may not even realize he loves Will, but he knows subconsciously that he does. He heard the phrase “love makes you crazy and that damn stupid”, 100′s of times and that’s why he said that phrase to Will. And why it made him so happy when Will reciprocated , by saying “ yeah. crazy together.” In addition to why we see them both go from happy, to immediately upset over the conversation.The scene was already romantically coded in s2 (but the scene in s3 re-contextualizes the whole thing) . Mike thinks “love makes you crazy” , and he asked Will to go ‘crazy together’ with him. And When Will is at castle byers looking at the Halloween pic of the 2 the day Mike said that, Will cries and calls himself “stupid” (4x). Can’t get more obvious… Like look what the duffers did! 

El and Will’s opinions on Mike (Parallels)

-When asked if Mike was a good kisser,  she just said “I don’t know he’s my 1st boyfriend.” (implying she’s thinking, at least subconsciously, of having other boyfriends ,who are not Mike in the future).  But when Mike pretty much asks’ if Will thought they’d never get girlfriends, and spend the rest of their lives with each other’.Will just sadly responds “yeah, I guess I did. I really did!” Unlike, El, Will always saw Mike as his future, his forever.

-And when Mike says “it’s just a break” , Max says “No it’s not!”, and we see El laugh along with Max’s comment. She is not heartbroken at the idea of never getting back together with him, romantically. Right after they break up she was laughing, reading comics, and playing games with Max.

But Will is devastated over the fight! And out of all the memories in Castle Byers it’s the Ghostbusters photo from Halloween that causes Will to pick up the bat and start destroying everything. That was the night that Mike agreed to go “crazy together” with him. He tears it in ½ right in the center where Mike and Will are. He was so stupid to think it meant anything. The “crazy together” scene, that Mike initiated in s2 was always meant to be romantic. Not only because of Will’s reaction to the photo in s3, but because Mike in s3 says “They do say it makes you crazy…blank makes you crazy.”  Which is exactly what happens to Will, as he has his breakdown.Castle byers was built on a rainy night , the same day Will’s dad left, when Will was 5 (the same age he met Mike). And lonnie called him a “queer” and a “f*g” and forced him to do “normal things” like baseball to have him “be more of a man”. And then on a rainy night, after Mike says “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”… what does Will destroy castle byers with? A baseball bat! The fact Will has a baseball bat (despite in s1 saying he does not like baseball) in Castle Byers, surrounded by things he loves: drawings, d&d, art supplies, a microscope, comics- just shows what an impact Lonnie’s problematic conditioning and abandonment had on him. He used a baseball bat to destroy something he loves -castle Byers, and symbolically he was trying to reject his feelings for Mike using Lonnie’s old tactics of fixing him.

- Also, El doesn’t even seem to appreciate when Mike acts like his true self (goofy/like a kid). She laughs when Max complains he talks too much. Rolls his at his jokes with the cpr-dummy, covers his mouth and tells him to stop when he tries to joke and sing, ignores him when he gets excited about talking about dinosaurs. Which relates to my next point

The only characters who’s character bios focus on ‘escaping’ through d&d is Mike and Will.

Will in the Montauk pitch was described as having “sexual identity issues… LIKE MIKE , Will ESCAPES through fantasy gaming where he can be himself, uninhibited.” Like what is Mike escaping from… being a nerd? Because they could of said ‘like his friends’. And no it’s not because they’re best friends- they even specifIed in Lucas bio he’s “ Mike’s best friend” (which was even mentioned in s1).

.In Mike’s character description it says “ bullying and near-crippling insecurity. He has never had a first kiss, much less a girlfriend.He ESCAPES his insecurities through reading fantasy novels … retreating into his own vivid imagination. The Dungeon Master of his Dungeons and Dragons group, he writes sprawling adventures with fantastical monsters.When he finds himself on a real adventure, facing real monsters, he will discover a courage he didn’t know he had. By the end, he will even kiss a girl.”

*Interesting that Mike uses D&D  to escape his insecurities about not having a gf (retreating into his imagination). While Will (who is somewhat aware of his sexuality) uses d&d to escape and be himself uninhibited. They’re foils in a sense- using d&d for opposing reasons.

So the s3 fight about d&d games has a lot more meaning 

Mike equates heterosexual romance with ‘growing up’ and his feeling for Will as something childish he has to grow out of.When they fight over d&d. Mike says “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”, then he tries to ½ apologize only to say, “I’m not trying to be a jerk. Ok? But We’re not kids anymore.” He pretty much explains, this is just the way things are-boys fall in love with girls, get girlfriends, and that’s just a part of growing up (heteronormativity).  And tells Will “I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?” And poor Will who is probably more aware of his feelings just responds. “Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.” And after this Mike rushes to Will’s house and apologizes saying he was an “asshole.”When he tries to say he loves El . It was very forced. He can’t even use the world love or explain his feelings, “A feeling … yeah, like, something… like OLD PEOPLE say it sometimes”.

He can’t even describe love and what his “feelings” entail for El , he then says  “Yeah, like something , like old people say it some times. He doesn’t even say it back in the last ep, when she confesses. It’s all talk, but no feeling, it’s just a part of becoming an adult in Mike’s mind.

In the last ep before the mileven kiss, he even invites both El and Will over for Christmas saying “ And Will too… we could all have new presents to play with and… *scoffs* Sorry, that made me sound like a 7 year old...  ”

And it’s implied in the last ep (before the mileven kiss),  because of the 3 month breakup Mike is back to liking d &d. When Mike sees Will put his own d&d book in the donation box he stops him.

Mike: “WHOA, dude that’s the donation box.”

Will: “ I know, I’ll just use yours,  when I come back. (pause) if WE still want to play?”

So then Mike asks, shyly …

Mike : “Yeah, but what if you want to join another party?” (cough- girls , the other ‘species’, or just someone else: girl, guy or otherwise)

Will: “Not possible.” (Will will always love Mike- insert Mikes immediate heart-eye reaction to this comment).

I think people don’t notice what the subtext is here- regardless of his intentions, Mike broke Will’s heart. He made him feel “stupid” for ever thinking he ever had a chance with Mike. He always saw Mike as his forever, but Mike shot any hopes of that down in the garage. Will doesn’t trust his own instincts. Mike could straight up flirt with him in s4/5- and Will would dismiss it as his imagination. He essentially said ‘he’ll always love Mike- but if something is going to happen. It’s up to Mike to initiate it’.

Mike was queer coded since ep 1 (and he’s more queer coded than Will)!

 I LITERALLY thought (in s1) Mike was queer before Will!

- 3 rainbow references. Mike in s1 in his basement has a red heart being propelled by a rainbow sign. We see this again in s3 as a drawing. Mike also stands next to Will behind a rainbow apple poster in s2. Forbidden fruit + rainbow = queer forbidden romance. Also the apple poster was in the AV Club and at that time the rainbow apple-mac sign was suspected to be in reference to for Alan Turning (the gay ‘father of computers’).

In s1:

- 4 separate characters said El looked like a boy, but Mike doesn’t care! Even one of the men thought El might be the missing ‘Byers boy’. When El loses her wig , Troy said “she doesn’t even look like a girl” to the cops. But Mike just calls her “really pretty”

-Nancy says “I thought you were acting weird, but I thought it was because of Will” And Mike responds “I thought you were acting weird too I thought it was because of Steve … Do you like Jonathan now”?” Nancy: “No, do you like Eleven?”. They literally compared the explicit love triangle between Steve/Nancy/Jonathan to the Will-Mike-El dynamic!

- Mike literally uses gender inclusive pronouns when talking about crushes using the word “someone” (3 times), and embarrassing himself because he can’t articulate the difference between friendship and romance. When he could of simply given the 80s heteronormative  answer of ‘when a boy likes a girl’.

Mike: “ you go to school dances with someone.

You know someone that you like”

El: “a friend?”

Mike: ‘not a friend uh … uh someone like a” (gives up and kisses her)

-Mike’s mom said “ What’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. I just … want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to HIDE anything from me” (she even emphasizes the word ‘hide”  (which is heavily queer coded)

- when Will ‘dies’, “we can be heroes” by David bowie (a bisexual singer) plays,   “And we kiss as though nothing could fall and the shame” is the lyric that plays when Mike returns to his house and cries in his mother’s arms over the ‘death’ of Will. Do I have to explain how ‘kissing and shame’ are queer-coded . And how such a lyric is oddly romantic- if we’re supposed to see their bond as nothing but platonic XD

-his dad jokes “Absolutely not” *turns to wife* “our son with a girl?”.

- when Lucas makes fun of his crush on EL, Lucas gets down on one knee  and says “ I love you so much, will you marry me?” and literally 1s later, we’re introduced to the bullies and the idea (for the first time) that Will is ‘gay’, and Mike is in the forefront of the scene and unlike his friends he is THE ONLY ONE physically assaulted as they cause him to fall face first into a rock (like a gay-bashing) .  They leave Lucas and Dustin unharmed. Even though Lucas just proposed to another guy- which should have gotten him a beating by the homophobic bullies.

It’s supposed to subconsciously hint Mike is queer like Will, and likes Will. The first interaction with the bullies, they mention Will being ‘gay’ right after they mention Mike’s crush on androgynous El and have a guy propose to Mike. Mike says to “ignore them” ( the homophobic remarks) but is assaulted anyways. And when asked what happed he doesn’t want to tell El the details cause he’s ashamed .

2nd time the bullies talk about Will, Mike is once again in the forefront, unlike his straight friends who are in the background . But this time Mike initiates the confrontation), as the bullies say Will is “flying in fairyland with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay”. Mike was literally on the verge or tears at this comment (despite being happy a few moments earlier , telling the others to ‘act sad’ because they’d look suspicious other wise). But this is the comment where Mike snaps and pushes Troy back (because he took it personally/wanted to defend Will).

The framing of Mike once again being in the front and snapping at the homophobic remarks ( gifs don’t do it justice, just rewatch the scene -Mike eyes water at the remarks). Then the last time the bullies appear , Mike jumps off the cliff and “flies like a fairy” (like Troy said) thanks to El . Troy at the police station even uses the word “fly” not levitate.

-Mike sneaking out to find Will, as Steve sneaks in to Nancy’s. They both even make eye contact (and pretend not to have seen each other).

- they share dinosaur toys , in s1 and 2 they appear to be the only ones with dinosaur toys.

- The s1 mom hug scene where Mike feels he lost Will is paralleled in s3 - signifying how he lost him a 2nd time.

- Mike in the 1st ep being the one to insist on looking for Will in the rain (callback to s3). But he never went looking for El when he saw her through his window? Even when Mike saw Will’s dead body, the second he heard his voice he convinced his friends to help rescue him!

- You remember the binder (from s1) that Mike keeps, filled with 100s of Will’s drawings, and how he caresses the drawing after thinking Will was dead. That’s totes platonic.

- Mike in s1 proclaiming “I’m the only one who cares about Will!” Seems like something a kid with a crush might say ( because obviously his other friends care about Will). But he thinks he cares the most. He was even the first to worry about Will not showing up to school, the first to suggest looking for him while speaking to Hopper, and when Hopper and his parents say ‘no’ he sneaks out anyway (and is the first to suggest forming a search party). The first to believe he was alive after seeing his dead body.The only boy to have a scene dedicated solely to him mourning Will.  Mike being the only boy to stay awake at the hospital, and the first boy to see and hug Will. The only one to have a private one on one talk before Will goes missing. The only one who was literally given 100s of Will’s drawings. And yet Dustin says Lucas’ is Mike’s best friend? So what does that make Mike and Will?

In s2:

- Will in all 3 seasons identifies as a wizard. But in s2 Mike (the paladin) says Will is a cleric. Meaning this reflects how Mike actually feels about Will. In d&d, they have similar moral values, powers, and generally need and depend on each other in the lore of d&d. Paladins have similar healing powers to clerics, but clerics have stronger healing abilities - which is interesting since Mike has always been viewed as the protector. But to Mike Will has helped him (maybe deal with the loss of El and other trauma) , just by being there. And if Mike says Will is a cleric,despite Will still identifying as a wizard in s3, it shows how deeply Mike actually feels about Will. It shows he views Will as one of the only people who understands him and views him as a healing presence and his moral compass.

“ strength of conviction gave many paladins a sense of common fellowship but did not always endear them to others. In many cases, paladins did not get along quite as well with other non-paladin adventurers, with the exception of clerics with similar beliefs.”

“A Paladin tries to hold to the highest standards of conduct, but even the most virtuous Paladin is fallible. Sometimes the heat of emotion causes a Paladin to transgress his or her oath (of honesty, courage, compassion, honor ,and duty). A paladin who has broken a vow typically seeks absolution from a cleric who shares his or her faith or from another paladin of the same order. After a rite of confession and forgiveness, the paladin starts fresh.”

This proves Mike knows he treats Will special/different than his other friends- and unlike a relationship with El (they are still individuals who are not dependent on each other). And Mike thinks being with Will quite literally makes him a better person. Juxtaposed with how him being in a romantic relationship with El made him blind and apathetic to those closest to him .

- All the mileven s1 parallels vs byler s2 parallels were ALL initiated by Mike. If the parallels were meant to show a one sided love triangle (on Mike’s end). They would of made Will the instigator not Mike! Parallels can be watched here , start at 6:50)

-Mike initiated the “crazy together’ line- and in s3 he said ‘blank makes you crazy’. So subconsciously he knew the line had romantic connotations.

-Mike initiating the hand hold (with a zoom in shot) and in the show this is only done for romantic pairings. Also Mike being the one to initiate the ‘arm thing’ which is generally romantic. But in s3 , Lucas also does this, saying “I am spending quality time with my girlfriend’

-Mike saying, asking him to be his friend was the “best thing I’ve ever done”

-Mike constantly following Will around, asking if he’s okay or biking to his house to check on him in s2 . In s3 running out to chase Will to the garage and apologizing, and running into a storm to apologize a 2nd time.

YOU SEE A PATTERN! Mike is whipped! And is the one constantly chasing and pursuing Will, not the other way around! Before s3, people always portrayed Will as the (stereotypical- problematic trope of a) sad-pinning-gay in a one sided love with Mike. It’s like people didn’t even watch the show (and just assigned tropes/stereotypes they wanted, that weren’t actually there). Will (probably too shy or scared to- because of homophobic taunts) never initiated a single byler moment- it was ALWAYS Mike!!! If people were actually objective, they would of thought it was Mike who was the one pinning!

- Which brings me to Mike literally pinning! Mike forcing Will to dance with a girl (who has a rainbow hairclip), but you literally see Mike’s shocked expression like  ‘what,why’d I do that ?’ And after this, they show Dustin looking sad about Max/Lucas dancing and then they have Mike get into the frame (next to Dustin) and look sad when Will/girl are dancing in the same exact frame as Max/Lucas. As they switch between these last 2 shots.

the cannon Spotify playlists-called ‘Mike’s basement beats’- These are character playlists that Spotify and St worked on together after s2.

-his first song is “small town boy” an 80s LGBT anthem about living in a small town and being queer and bullied. Every band member was openly gay.

-his 11th song is ‘don’t you want me’ from a “celebrate your gay pride” album

* But queer people are “delusional” for thinking Mike isn’t straight? And are told to “open your eyes and watch the show” (that was an actual quote in the byler tag). Ok? Take your own advice, then! XD

One of the Duffers cited inspirations for ST is SUPER GAY (and what they based the byler dynamic off of).

In the Will comic, Will throws an old 1970s book called “house of stairs” at the demorgorgan. And in a later chapter Mike and Will just read together at the library (just silently reading together, enjoying each others’ company-totally not a romantic cliche).And Mike warns Will the book ‘could have spoilers’ for the d&d campaign. Also look at this byler-centric cover :)

  Peter (Will) is shy, quiet ,initially a pushover, and gay-coded.  And as a coping mechanism he has psychological-breaks with reality where he thinks of his best friend from the orphanage, Jasper (Mike) . Another kidnapped boy, named Oliver (who looks just like Jasper/Mike) is also queer-coded (but a violent-sociopath). And, unlike Jasper who actually wanted to protect/take care of Peter -Oliver starts to gets a sick thrill out of making Peter dependent on him (which Peter catches on to pretty quickly). Oliver was insistent on being the only one to ‘wake’ Peter from his episodes (just like how Mike did for Will, in s2), except Oliver calls him pet-names like “sweetheart, baby, etc.” 

And again to prove it’s queer-coded I’ll read some of the (shortened) quotes, in the order they were written. These are quotes from Peter (Will’s) pov talking about his childhood best-friend Jasper (Mike) .  

-“his room. His and jaspers room.  Jasper looking up from his desk, smiling glad to see him. Jasper saying . Something very important. The most important message, the secret message.  He couldn’t hear him . But jasper keeps smiling , keeps talking . What was the message, jasper? What was the message? The dream had been beautiful at the beginning, terrible at the end, but he longed  to be in it again. If only he hadn’t awakened.”  

-“Jasper sitting on the bed and taking off his shoes ,smiling, ‘you’re okay pete, you’re better than a hundered of those slobs put together. Tomorrow I’ll tell them so myself‘ jasper’s strong, hard body as he got into bed ,so different from peter’s. Strong, to protect him to take care of him. Jasper, who always took care of him”.

-“He wanted to think about oliver it  it was like having Jasper back again. It would disturb him to see Oliver go off with Abigail… the rejection quite painful. It had never been like that with Jasper…jasper.

-The room they shared with rainbow colors, murmuring comforting words to him , enclosing and protecting him. He let himself drift into it, the rainbow hues dimness.”

-“No one ever depended on him. It was he who always depended on others, on Jasper. jasper, who had always taken care of him. Jasper…”

later he admits his feelings for Jasper to Lola/el. Lola and Pete are plantonic soulmates. The only reason why they survive and don’t succumb to their dark and violent urges/psychological brainwashing is because of each other. Lola has  brown hair and eyes and has a buzzcut and is heavily implied to be a lesbian (as she is the only girl in the group who is not fooled by Oliver’s ‘nice guy act’. Which makes the other girls ‘suspicious’ and alienate her). Also this was written in the 70s… she has a buzzcut and is said to “look like a boy”. It’s not that subtle! There was a reason that the author whose first name was WILLIAM (was suspected to be gay/bi when he was alive)!  XD

-Peter says “ he was my friend we were always together . Jasper his name was jasper .in the dream he’s taking care of me’. Now he was beginning to cry, his throat constricting and tears welling up in his eyes .’taking care of me … he always took care of me… taking care of me, and , and … and loving me’. ‘”It was the best time in your life’ she murmured’. ‘Yes’ “

* cough protective childhood friend, rainbows, ‘best time of your life = best thing I ever did.

S3 ending (byler centric ending)

When we first see Mike during the Hopper mologue, the moving truck leaves. “Like you’re pulling away from me or something. I miss playing board games every night (d &d)”…  (the last thing they talked about was Will visiting to play d&d and their fight this season started because of a disagreement about d&d.)

Then Mike looks back at the Byers house (just lingers there and looks back as his friends leave) like how Will did seeing Mike hold hands with El and leave .  “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”Mike , like Will “doesn’t want things things to change”. He doesn’t want his  his feelings of friendship to become romantic in regards to Will,  it “scares” him (especially in rural 80s Indiana). Right after Will cries,  it immediately switches to Mike hugging his mom- to mirror the time he thought Will died in s1 “So I think maybe that’s why I came in here, to try and maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” He goes back to his mother for comfort, like he did the 1st time he lost Will. But also to reverse back time, to s1, before he realized his feelings for Will were romantic.  When things were simpler. 

“But I know that’s naive. It’s just not how life works. It’s moving, always moving, whether you like it or not. And yeah, sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s sad. And sometimes, it’s surprising. Happy.” (byler endgame)

Will (in s2) even says everyone treats him like ‘freak/ that something is wrong with him’ (purposely leaving out Mike from the discussion). And then when Will disparages himself as a freak,and Jonathan agrees but asks Will, ‘who would he rather be friends with-  David Bowie (who was openly bi since the 70s) or Kenny Rogers’? And when Will says Bowie, Jonathan agrees saying “see, it’s no contest”.

So,  it’s just another coincidence that when Will ‘dies’ (in s1) a David Bowie song (‘we can be heroes’) plays. And as Mike hugs his mom, mourning Will -  a romantic lyric from the song plays during the hug?“And we kiss, as though nothing could fall. And the shame”  (which is heavily queer coded)?

And then in the last ep (in s3) Mike mirrors this scene in s1, hugging his mom, since he feels like he’s losing Will all over again. And right after the hug (‘we can be heroes’) plays again!?  I’m not saying byler is endgame. But- WAIT THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M SAYING! XD

These men literally invented ‘hetero-baiting’ (with Robin & Steve) and you think they’re going to queer bait?!

Also, if Will was a girl named ‘Willow” no one would call byler ‘delusional’ ! Even the most casual viewer would say it’s obvious they’d end up together in the end!

If the witness said about El in s1 , “ same height… it could be the Byers girl”, instead of ‘boy’ (pointing out the resemblance).  Mike only meeting El cause he was looking for Willow. Proclaiming “i’m the only one who cares about Willow!” . Mike getting into fights and getting upset (almost crying) about the bullies insulting Willow. Mike only getting angry at El when he thinks she lied about Willow being alive. Mike being the only boy who has a scene dedicated to his loss of her (with the same romantic lyrics playing). Mike having a whole binder of her drawings and caressing one of the drawings, after he thinks she died.  Mike being the only one of her friends to stay awake at the hospital, waiting for her to wake up- so he can see her and hug her first. People probably would of started shipping it the second Willow stared at him and was the only one who didn’t lie to him, in the first ep! Another parallel to El!

If Will was Willow, the majority of the fandom would be byler shippers. Think about it! . Mike having s2 byler scenes that are identical to s1 mileven scenes, and then additional unique byler scenes. Mike staying by Willow’s side 24 hours a day for several days (not even changing clothes), carrying her out of the hospital, grabbing her hand (with a zoom in shot),constantly asking her if she’s okay at least 5-7 times, putting his arm around her twice, being the only one who could tell something was off with her (and it wasn’t her normal type of quiet). Calling and running all the way to her house and banging on the door to check on her, desperate. Watching her sleep cause he’s so worried. That shed scene reminiscing about how they first met in perfect detail, saying “I asked, I asked if you wanted to be my friend. You said yes, you said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. (like a marriage proposal)”  The “crazy together” scene. Them being close since they were 5 vs the girl he knew for a week (but is somehow in love with?). In s2 if Mike sadly watched Willow dance with another guy , while Dustin does the same to Max. Forget it- everyone would already know mileven would be doomed to fail.

And again think about s3 if Will was a girl.They parallel the (comedic) mileven breakup vs (the sad/serious) byler breakup. Then Mike just complains and burps on the couch vs apologizing to Willlow multiple times/even going into a storm to apologize a 2nd time (and to ‘talk’). Willow having a breakdown over the fight vs El laughing and high five-ing Max after.The shed vs the pool shed scene- “best thing I’ve ever done” vs “you’re the most important thing in the world to me”, “blank makes you crazy’ (as El stares confused) vs “crazy together’ (where Willow says ‘yeah, crazy together’). Mike going on ‘movie dates with Willlow all the time’ right after making out with El. The last mileven kiss where Mike has his eyes open the whole time,  and doesn’t kiss back. And saying he doesn’t remember saying  “I love” you to El (and doesn’t say ‘I love you’ back). Right after having a talk with Willow about playing games when she comes back (the crux of their fight). Mike getting excited that he’ll be able to visit El and Willow on Thanksgiving and them visiting him on Christmas (those are holidays where family usually introduces their S.O.) Having the last scene of Mike,  be him looking back at Willow’s house, and have that whole monologue about “feelings changing”, and then he goes to hug his mom like the s1 byler scene where he thought Willow was dead, signifying he lost her again. And that’s not even all the scenes- and every time byler won by a landslide. If Will was a girl, we wouldn’t be ‘delusional’! It would be obvious writing on the wall, that Mike would eventually choose Willow over El by the end of the series.

But since they are 2 boys, we’re delusional, because queer kids don’t exist … apparently.

*S3-I’m not repeating my literal essays but they’re probably better than this post so here are the links to pretty much all my s3 byler meta.  (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

gif credit: 1st few have the name stark in the gifs, 2nd byler gif (found on wheheart.com- user dream_daisy, not sure if they also have a Tumblr , 3rd livelovecaliforniadreams, 4th &10th Cath-avery, 5& 6th unknown, 7-9 eggogorgon . Tell me if you know the unknown one so I can give credit , please.

[teruthecreator]

i’m cramming this under a readmore bc i dont wanna dump this shit on my friends but i also just wanna air out my feelings and thoughts bc im having them and im dazed enough to impulsively share 

it’s so weird how like....good it is to have a therapist. like i spent nearly 20 years believing my feelings were not valid and i was overreacting and the things i thought were wrong and strange, and it took one person to sit down and actually Hear Me Out to like Completely change my whole outlook on my life. like it’s fucking weird because i love my family and i feel like i can’t leave but like Nobody has ever made an effort to honestly understand me. my sister claims she’s tried, but recent interactions proves she doesn’t understand and she doesn’t want to. and i just remember the times as a kid where my family would tell me i shouldn’t tell people i’m autistic because i was��“different” than “most autistic kids” (meaning: i could pass as neurotypical if they trained me well enough) and it really speaks volumes how no one wanted to understand what me being autistic would mean. or, they did the bare minimum of understanding, and didn’t realize that with age i would grow and change and develop and things would change. 

i had a very eye-opening session w my therapist this week that just has me really...hesitant to talk any family members right now. like, i feel like i have to put up such a front around my family. my mom was really up my ass over the holiday because i wasn’t Always happy, and she kept saying she just wanted her “sunshine girl back” like my identity had somehow changed because i wasn’t as jovial as i was as a kid. but like that’s not True. i still consider myself her sunshine girl; she’s been calling me that since i was a kid and it’s not like i Hate that petname. sunshine yellow is my favorite color; i identify so heavily w the sun! but i sorta have come to realize and accept that the reason my mom thinks i’m not her “sunshine girl” anymore is bc i’m not hiding my sorrows anymore. i’m being genuine and raw and real and my mom can’t accept that that’s just the person i Am. 

i’ve had a Long Fucking Life. i’m optimistic, but that doesn’t mean my trauma goes away. i just didn’t understand anything for the Longest fucking time because i was sheltered, and then when i came to terms with everything i was Hurt. yeah, i changed. but everyone changes! it’s because i changed to be a more genuine person that my mother can’t accept, because parents don’t wanna see you be sad. but parents Also don’t wanna see the damage they’ve caused their kids, and as much as my dad is the alcoholic no-show, my mom is not without her faults. 

my sister recently told me i only cared about my own feelings, and that really pissed me off because i have Always put everyone’s feelings above my own. it’s why it took me so many years to come out, and even then once i said it i stopped talking about it because my mom looked so uncomfortable. it’s why i learned to cry silently, so my mother could get her work done and not deal w my stress-induced breakdowns. it’s why i have Always waited for people to contact me first; because i don’t wanna be the one to interrupt someone during work or if they’re busy. i care with my whole heart, but it’s time i start giving that care back to myself. and it’s just so Plainly Obvious to me that my sister doesn’t get me when she says something that dense. when she was at her worst i worried over her Constantly. i Still worry about her! i worry about everyone! 

but y’know what? my therapist understood. when i explained the argument i had with my sister, or my frustration over the holidays, my therapist Never tried to belittle my feelings. she’s Always been there to validate me and support me and work me towards a solution to the roundabout ways that i talk. and she commends me for my understanding of my own feelings and how i’m able to pinpoint why things affect me and where the causation may have occurred. and i’ve had maybe, like, four or five sessions with this lady. and the thought of having our sessions stop is fucking Terrifying. 

to go back to having no adult support? i can’t do it. she’s like a third mother, and i’ve known her for only a couple weeks. is this what emotional dependency is? all the therapists at my college are only short-term, but some will take on long-term cases if they feel the need. im honestly considering talking to her about taking me on for a while because i need her. i need someone to get me that isn’t hundreds of miles away goddamnit. i need someone who is supportive of me buying a rat and visiting my girlfriend and double majoring and making a podcast and doing all the things i’ve only Barely mentioned to my family bc i’m always met with such Confusion and Discomfort that like....idk 

i’m so glad i started therapy honestly. 

[wargreyfics]

The One-eyed Upperclassman | Part 2

Summary: Naomi feels that she owe her savior something, so she makes her something special for him while also getting along with his group.

     The long break between new academic years was a lot of fun, but never had it felt so long that it drove Naomi impatient. Usually she dreaded going to school, although hanging out with her friends was fun, the math and science lessons were of the top of her worries. Now that she was entering tenth grade, she can only smell the difficulty of those two subjects spiking dramatically. But ever since that day, ever since she encountered that one-eyed upperclassman, she was actually waiting for school to start again.

     She packed two boxes of lunch that morning. She made sure her food tasted good, decent at least. It tasted fine on her tongue, but she feared it was only fine for her. When Esh-baal came to pick her up—her house was nearby—Naomi shoved a spoonful into her mouth. “Please try it! Is it good?”

     Despite almost choking on the spoon, she managed to chew and swallow the food Naomi so desperately wanted her to try. “It’s great. Would be awesome if you didn’t force it down my throat, though.”

     “Oops. Heheh… But I’m glad you like it.” She went back to her packed lunches and put them in the bag.

     “Can I have some too?” Esh-baal took out her own lunchbox and Naomi gave her as much as her friend needed. “Alright, let’s hurry before the first bell rings.”

     The new academic year started without much issues. Kazuo was back, but he didn’t try to do anything. He, in fact, sort of avoided Naomi, probably because Eve was always nearby. Eve is a big girl, the tallest girl in her class. With her height and her well-known possession of red belt in taekwondo, she easily intimidated those who meant harm to her friends or herself. Naomi’s impatience grew thinner the closer the time got to lunch time, and when the bell rang, she excitedly grabbed her lunch bag.

     “Naomi, hold on!” called out Esh-baal. Seeing her small friend disappear outside caused her to rush to follow her.

     Naomi looked around the hallway, wondering where the eleventh grade’s classroom was. She remembered last time he mentioned that their class was nearby and just when she figured out which one it was, the people she was expecting walked out of their class. She recognized some of them from the time they confronted Kazuo, most notably the tall dark-skinned one. Following him closely was the one-eyed boy, without the bandages this time, exposing a huge scar around his blind eye. She followed them, just as Eve and Esh-baal caught up to her. She called, “Hey, wait up!”

     “Naomi, what are you doing? Where are you going?” Esh-baal asked with exasperation in her voice. “Did you forget your way around school? Cafetaria’s not on the roof!” Yet, the little blonde did not hear her.

     “Wait!” Naomi called out again, this time catching the attention to one of the boys of the group, a Japanese with a black hair that was tied on the back. His face was disinterested at first, until he paid attention to the face of the caller. He even went as far as grabbing the one-eyed boy’s sleeve.

     “Hey, you’re that girl!” he said, a smile growing on his face. Once he spoke, all of his friends turned around to look at Naomi. At the sudden attention from the group plus some passing students, Naomi became somewhat self-conscious and her cheeks reddened. “What’s up?” he asked, giving Naomi his attention while his friends looked on with little to no interest.

     Naomi was nervous, but she refused to back away. She had been waiting all day, after all. “Uh, I just, uh… Can we sit with you?” Naomi peeped, much to her friends’ horror.

     “We?” Eve whispered intensely, “Girl, are you crazy?!”

     The one-eyed boy definitely saw the unease written all over Esh-baal and Eve’s face and simply groaned. The dark-skinned one and the Japanese boy both elbowed him. “Yeah. Sure. Do whatever you want,” he muttered with disinterest, and continued climbing the stairs to the roof.

     The Japanese boy walked down to approach Naomi while also keeping his distance from her, not wanting to be left behind by his friends. “Don’t mind him, he tends to be grumpy, but he ain’t bad. Also, hi, I’m Kenji, nice to meet you.” The boy named Kenji gave a wide smile, one that caused Naomi’s friends to tense up.

     “I’m Naomi. These are Esh-baal and Eve,” Naomi replied, oblivious to her friends’ tension. “We never sat on the rooftop before. It’s usually occupied by the seniors.”

     “Yeah, well, we’re the seniors now, basically. There’re only like ten-something people in the twelfth grade and they’re really...reclusive, kinda? They only hang out with each other, that’s what I mean. But that’s good news ‘cuz that means we get to occupy the rooftop. Pretty much our HQ since last year.”

     Kenji kindly guided the girls to the rooftop with a smile, before leaving them for his crowd once they reached the rooftop. He sat next to the one-eyed boy and waved at the girls to come and sit with them.

     Naomi and her friends took a moment to study the place. It was blanketed with sunlight, the edges of the building was guarded by hard-weaved wire fences to keep students from falling, and large potted plants standing on every corner to spruce up the place. There were a few tables with wide metal roof to shield anyone who sits from harsh sunlight or rain shower. Three of them were occupied by Kenji and his group. “Guys, say hello to Naomi, Eve, and Esh—uh...Eschel?”

     “It’s Esh-baal,” the owner of the name corrected, slightly annoyed but understanding.

     “Ah, yeah, my bad,” Kenji chuckled.

     “Already cozying yourself with the new girls, huh, Kenji?” remarked a red-haired girl, sipping her boxed Thai tea from a straw.

     Kenji pouted at her, “Not everybody wants to be forever known as ‘the scary Viking chick’ like you, Sonja.” Then he turned to the girls again. “Well, don’t let her scare you. Sit down.”

     “Right. But, um, actually…” Naomi approached the one-eyed boy. Suddenly, she became a bit nervous. She shyly took out one of the lunchboxes out of her bag and handed it to him. Already the gesture caused Kenji and his dark-skinned friend beamed, mouth opened but no sound coming out of it yet. “I wanna thank you, um, for helping me back then. So...I made you my own homemade lunch!”

     Suddenly Kenji and the dark-skinned boy howled, slapping the one-eyed boy on his back. “Asa has a faaaaaaaan!” he slung a thick arm around the one-eyed boy—evidently named Asa—and patting his chest with a huge grin on his face.

     Asa pushed his arm off, his face slightly tinted pink from his friends’ embarrassing howling. He turned his head, coyly, to Naomi. “What if I already have my own lunch?”

     “You idiot!” Kenji yelled, startling him yet again. “Don’t be rude! It’s a thank-you lunch, accept it! You can share it with me or Grim if it’s too much food for you, which, let’s be real. You eat like a pig, quantity-wise. That tiny lunch box is a snack.”

     Asa sighed and humbly accepted Naomi’s gift of homemade lunch. “You shouldn’t have done this. But...thanks. For the...thank-you gift.” He meant to keep the lunch box unopened, but once again Kenji urged him, coupled with his own common decency. This girl had made the effort to cook lunch and pack it especially for him, because he did a small thing a few months ago that apparently meant a lot to her.

     “Come on, eat something,” the dark-skinned boy called Grim whispered with much urgency.

     Asa sighed deeply and took a spoonful of Naomi’s food. It looked pretty, very carefully coordinated, the rice in the middle was square-shaped with the meat, vegetables, and fried tofu organized surrounding it. The smell was also mouth-watering. This food was too good to be unappreciated and wasted. He brought the spoon and its content into his mouth, the flavor instantly melting in his mouth.

     “So how is it?” asked Naomi. Asa yelped in surprise, finding her already sitting beside him, where Grim was. Grim quietly invited Naomi to sit next to Asa while the one-eyed boy was still entranced by her food, while Esh-baal and Eve were invited to sit with the girls of the group.

     “It’s uh…”

     “It’s not good, is it?” she laughed, with a subtle tinge of disappointment.

     “No! It’s—it tastes fine! Good!” Asa interjected, seeing how she seemed to be discouraged.

     And it would appear his words helped; she beamed and was practically shining. “Oh, that’s a relief! I don’t know what you like so I just made the most basic thing.” She took out her own lunchbox and started eating with him. She had the same food as the one she gave to him, except she prepared some brownie squares for dessert. Asa continued eating the lunch she gave him interchangeably with the lunch he brought from home, and while everyone else conversed as they ate, Asa was silent. “Huh, I didn’t expect you to be a shy, quiet type. You were really forward when you confronted Kazuo.”

     Asa blushed slightly and couldn’t answer. Instead, Grim spoke on his behalf. “He’s only forward when he’s being rude and threatening someone,” he sneered, much to Asa’s annoyance. “But when he has nice things to say, he’s all flustered and shit. Which is backwards.” Grim giggled, causing Asa to swing a foot to kick him lightly on the shin. Naomi could tell the two were close.

     Naomi and her friends were soon introduced to the whole group. Asa was the leader of the group. Grim was apparently short for Grimoaldo and he turned out to be Asa’s brother, younger by two months, both were adopted. Kenji had been friends with the brothers since eighth grade, after Asa helped him defended his little sister from bullies. Besides Kenji, there was another boy, named Mars, who joined the group in ninth grade after Asa and his friends defended his autistic younger brother. The girls were already friends before they joined. They were Sonja, Ulva, and Jen. The girls first befriendment with the male half of the group was less poetic; instead of having anything related to defense against bullying, they simply were placed in a group for a science project the whole semester last year and apparently they all clicked. So much that Mars and Ulva started dating last summer.

     Naomi’s eyes were all sparkles and stars the entire time they told their first time stories. Such a large and interesting group of friends, and they seemed like really nice people. What impressed her the most was that most of them met through bullying. She noticed the expression on Esh-baal and Eve’s faces changed as they listened to them talking. They were really tense before, now they seemed to have softened. Things to have sailed quite smoothly until the laughters were interrupted by an abrupt slam from the door to the rooftop.

     Everybody’s heads whisked to the source of the slamming, where a Caucasian boy with a light blond hair was hunching down panting, presumably from running up the stairs in a hurry. Naomi didn’t know who he was, but she could recall seeing his face in the year below her. The older students, however, seemed to know him. Grim approached him, placing a warm hand on his shoulder. “Folke? What’s wrong, buddy? Take a deep breath.”

     “I can’t! You guys need to help! I was in the bathroom, Glovar was there too, a-a-and then these guys come up to him and start pushing him around. I got out but he’s still in there!” the boy named Folke stammered in sheer panic, his face drenched in sweat from both the running and panicking, hands pulling at Grim’s arms in a desperate attempt to bring help to his friend still trapped in the men’s bathroom.

     Grim started to sweat a little too, his forehead scrunched as the worry infected him as well. He threw a quick look at Asa who, the moment he heard Folke stammering about this boy named Glovar, immediately hopped out of his seat, leaving his lunchbox and the one Naomi gave open and unfinished. Naomi was startled by how quick he moved, outpacing the others as he hurried downstairs. Kenji and Mars were also quick to follow their leader, but the others were given more time. Grim, while visibly worried, was in no hurry to follow his brother. He instead opted to remain on the tables and guarded the guys’ lunchboxes and helped Folke rest and calm himself down. The friendly air turned cold, Naomi wasn’t sure what to do about it.

      “Is everything going to be okay?” she squeaked.

     Grim blinked quickly and chuckled forcefully. “Yeah, you don’t have to worry. It’s gonna be over soon, I guaran—”

     A collective scream from numerous people erupted downstairs, heard from both the rooftop entrance and out of the windows downstairs, giving Naomi, Esh-baal, and Eve a mini heart attack. More shouting came from the windows, a masculine voice, clearly sounding afraid and threatened.

     “Holy shit, he’s really going all out, isn’t he?” Sonja spoke, standing up to peer over the wire fences to where the shouting came from. She and her friends appeared much less panicked as the others, as if they had no worry in them at all.

     “Um, what’s really going on?” Eve asked, imitating Sonja peering over the fences.

     “The usual,” she simply answered.

     “I will go check. Watch over my things?” Naomi stood up and walked downstairs, following the source of the commotion. The closer she got, the more her stomach felt churning. She soon spotted a bunch of girls from other classes gathering in the hallway, creating a wall of human flesh that blocked her from what was going on. She tried jumping, but Naomi’s height and lack of lower body strength could not help her see. So she had no choice but squeeze between the crowd, only to come out to Asa holding another boy with his body halfway outside the window.

     “Lemme go! Dammit, lemme go!” the boy screamed, hands clawing at Asa’s arm trying to desperately save himself. His eyes widened, spine shivering whenever he saw what was below, realizing that the school building was taller than it looked despite being only three storeys tall.

     “Oh, sure. I’ll let you go and let you fall to your death, you piece of shit!” Asa growled, shaking and further pushing him out the window. The knee bends were the only thing still kept the boy in Asa’s hands hanging onto the building. It showed how much strength Asa has for being able to hold a person like that with relative ease.

     Naomi looked around; she remembered Kenji and Mars following Asa, so where were they? She spotted Mars, holding down two other boys beneath him all by himself. He had their arms behind their back. Kenji was nowhere to be seen.

     “What do you want, man! You got no business with that blue prick!” the threatened boy wailed, still holding on to Asa’s wrists, in case he planned on letting go with him still dangling by the window with only his knees.

     “That ‘blue prick’ is my brother and as an older sibling, that makes your business with him my business! If there’s anyone who should be asking, it’s me! Now what do you fucking want with him?!” The last question was asked in a roar. Naomi swore she could see his veins bulging from under his skin, his brown skin turned slightly darker as he went red with rage.

      “Just havin’ fun, dude! Chill out!”

     “Well, I’m having fun too, what about that? Does this feel fun to you, dipshit? Does it?!” Asa pushed the boy again further out that he started to cry and beg in his hold. The crowd around them were heard gasping and muttering in worry if the tall eleventh grader would seriously drop the other student, but nobody had the courage to intervene. Nobody, until a teacher came in.

     She was a tall and lanky woman, with long silky dark brown hair that were mostly swept to her right side. She teaches English and the social studies, as well as the eleventh grade’s homeroom teacher. She was far from the type of person everyone expected to break up fights, but there she was, approaching one of her homeroom students, who was also taller than her, and placed a hand gently on his shoulder. “Asa, that is enough,” she said. Her voice was eerily calm. “Pull him back in. Come on.”

     Asa gritted his teeth, but it was apparent that his aggression had been stopped by the teacher. His arms, however, still hadn’t moved. He had to get a message across. “I don’t care what business you have with my brother, but if I see your ugly mug around him again, I will throw you off a bridge, I swear to fucking god.”

     “Asa,” the teacher interjected again, her voice firmer.

     He pulled the other student in, granting him mercy from falling off the building, and just dropped him to the floor like a bag. Mars let go of his friends before the teacher told him to and the three of them started scurrying back to class. The teacher started telling the surrounding students to go back to their lunches before the bell rings. The crowd dispersed, though some male students were more reluctant to move, curious what would happen now that the fighting died down. Naomi also did not move; she needed to know what happened.

     Mars poked his head into the men’s bathroom. “Hey, how’s it going in there?” he asked.

     From inside, Kenji’s voice bounced out. “We’re okay. He’s okay. We’re coming out now.” And not long after, Kenji came out of the bathroom with a non-human boy beside him. He has blue skin, snowy white hair, and two horns on his forehead. His eyes possessed an eerie coloring: yellow pupils surrounded by black sclera. His face had black lines etched from under his eyes down his cheeks and another one on his forehead between his horns rectangular-shaped.

     People from outside the planet living among them was not a strange concept; it has been part of the history for a couple hundred of years. She had seen creatures much stranger than this blue-skinned boy, but still he was unique to her, despite having a very humanoid shape to him. He was the first of his kind she had ever seen. And apparently, he is the younger brother of this famously tall upperclassman that she had given lunch to earlier.

     “Stop coddling me, I’m fine,” said the blue-skinned boy whose name, Naomi recalled, was Glovar. A paper towel was shoved into one of his nostrils and one could spot some red on the paper towel in his nose.

     “You’re really lucky that you only got a bleeding nose out of that,” Kenji remarked. He smacked Glovar’s hand when he tried to pull the paper towel out. “Leave that be! You’ll spill blood everywhere! We need to get you to the nurse.”

     “I don’t need—”

     “Glo, just do what he says,” Asa interjected. He and the teacher both stared at Glovar, emphasizing the order with their gaze as well.

     “Alright, fine.” Glovar grumbled but complied. He allowed Kenji guide him to the nurse’s office, leaving Naomi, Mars, and Asa with the teacher.

     The teacher and Asa started talking with each other. “Asa,” she said, her voice much calmer and softer now, “you do know I have no choice but to take action on this.” Naomi wanted to listen in, but Mars tugged her out of the scene. She only managed to overhear, “I expect to see you in the principal’s office,” before the conversation faded the further she walked away.

     Naomi never saw Asa again after that commotion, but she was later properly introduced to Glovar and Folke, the youngest members of the group, both being in the grade below Naomi’s. However, the atmosphere had changed too much then; the group became less interested in conversing with Naomi and her friends, being more focused on their own members that, unbeknownst to them, they started to neglect the girls and growing distant. Naomi, Esh-baal, and Eve couldn’t help the growing distance; it must have been a trying time for them.

     Still, that did not stop Naomi from trying to maintain communication with them. At the end of the school day, she made her way to the principal’s office, where she found both Grim and Glovar outside of the office. Grim spotted Naomi standing in the corner and waved at her with a grin, Glovar following but with much less enthusiasm. Naomi tiptoed her way to them, her friends following behind her, and sat next to Grim.

     “How’s things going?” she asked, keeping her voice down.

     “The school had to call our parents and the other kids’ parents, and Pa is currently inside with Asa right now. It got almost hot, but it’s calmer now,” Grim answered, keeping a wry smile on his face. “Sorry you gotta see him blow up like that. Though, if you’ve been around this school since seventh grade, you should’ve known shit like this went off every once in a while. Well, maybe not so much in the beginning, but lately…”

     “You mean, this isn’t the first time he’s been called to the principal’s office?”

     “Nope,” both brothers answered. “And definitely won’t be the last. Not with that temper,” Glovar added.

     “Speak for yourself, Glo, you’re even worse.”

     “Oh…” Naomi twiddled her fingers. “I...I know there’s been a lot of fighting lately, but I always stayed out of the gossip. Violence makes me uncomfortable…”

     “If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t be getting too close to us,” Grim said, his expression much somber, but his thick dark lips remained smiling. “I’m not much of a fighter either. Even earlier I didn’t jump in, even though it was my own brother that got beaten up. Sometimes I help stopping Asa from throwing his fists, but only if I can manage it. I get anxious when things get too heated. The only reason I stick around is because he’s my brother and also my best friend. I can’t leave him alone. But you...you have no relations to any of us, so it’s better you stay out. I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s just, well, if violence really makes you uncomfortable, then we’re not the folks you should be hanging around with.”

     Naomi frowned but considered his words. While she was deep in thought, Esh-baal took her hand. “Let’s go home, Naomi. It’s getting late. Shouldn’t you be making dinner for you and your uncle?”

     “Oh, right…” Naomi stood, but rising slowly. Her emerald eyes exchanged gazes with Grim, who smiled at her again. She wanted to say something, but didn’t find her words. She followed Esh-baal’s tugging on her hand and soon left the brothers behind her. Soon they were out of the school area, her taller friends on both of her sides.

     “Naomi,” Esh-baal began, snapping her out of her thoughts, “I think Grim’s right. We shouldn’t talk to them anymore.”

     Naomi’s head whisked to the redhead, eyes widened. “But…”

     “Yeah,” Eve added, “In history class earlier, I saw the video of what happened, a kid in our class got it recorded. It’s awful, Naomi. I know Asa’s defending his brother, but did you see the way he’s threatening that other guy? If he’s got slippery fingers, someone could die!”

     Esh-baal nodded, agreeing to what the taller blonde said. “He also didn’t talk much during lunch and he doesn’t seem like he appreciated your cooking.”

     “That’s not true. He said thanks to me,” Naomi retorted, though her voice shrinking in volume.

     “Yeah, but Kenji and Grim had to push him to take your gift,” Esh-baal argued back. “At first, he didn’t even want to look at it. Being shy and awkward is fine, but he wasn’t just shy and awkward, he downright looked uncomfortable having us around. Look, the gang seems pretty cool, but I can tell they’re a bad crowd. You’re too nice to hang out with them, hun.”

     Naomi felt heavy in the chest. She felt she was forming a new friendship in her new year of school, but so soon it had to be taken from her. She understood why, but her heart wanted to rebel, but should she let it? Or should she listen to what the others told her to do? Maybe tomorrow she could give another chance to think. Maybe she needed some time to see how things will turn up…

     There’s a possibility that everyone is wrong about this...

Credits:

Naomi, Esh-baal, Eve created by: @ilovetempe

[nerdfighterwhatevernumbers]

I am glad gmw got to focus on real issues like cultural appropriation and an autistic character and a few other things I hear happened but didn’t really pay attention to, especially since the original show had a lot of those very special episodes (although I don’t get gmw fans saying gmw had ‘restrictions’ that Andi Mack doesn’t like have the writers talked about wanting to push more boundaries and being turned down or are fans just assuming things?), and I feel like it did help test the waters a little for Andi Mack (which is doing so much more with just one episode out) so I’m grateful for parts of it, but can you see why I’m more excited for Andi Mack? 

Right from the get go it’s an original story we haven’t seen in a children’s show before, it gives us an Asian lead, a GIRL Asian lead, a teen pregnancy storyline, it talks about plans for a gay character IN A CHILDREN’S SHOW during the TRUMP PRESIDENCY (I will forgive Disney for Le Fou if they pull this off well and stick with it, I am so happy) and that’s just stuff they’re doing before the show officially airs on tv.

And that’s just the ‘progressive’ parts of it.

I’m also excited because it’s actually shot differently than their last decades of shows have been made- no laugh track or obvious stage set or live studio audience to be seen. I am ECSTATIC at this alone, to have a show that LOOKS different. The kids are also played by real kids and dress like real kids instead of having like 50 belts and three vests and ten layers of makeup on every single girl. 

Without that stuff, the show is still cute, the characters and their relationships are well written, the actors, particularly Bex and the mother (I love Lauren Tom so much) are really good, there’s no mugging or posing for the camera giving it a much more natural feels even in it’s dorkier more awkward moments. 

I LOVE Andi’s relationship with Bex especially, Bex just had this charm and this love in her that made you really excited for this cool big sister who showed up like a minute ago, you already wanna actually be her friend and not just cuz she wears leather and rides a motorcycle.

It’s just got so much stuff that’s so refreshing and groundbreaking and overall really well made and you can see the love and effort put into it, I’m really not surprised people are so excited for this show

[thehowtostuff-blog]

Do you have a child whose stims cause bodily injury, destruction, or other legitimately negative consequences? This wikiHow will help you learn how to redirect that energy compassionately and effectively.

Autistic teens and adults with this problem should read How to Replace Harmful Stims.

EditSteps

EditEvaluating the Stim

Redirecting stims may be an exhausting task for autistic kids. It's important only to take action when the stim causes actual harm.

Consider whether the stim is actually harmful. Just because a stim is a little odd or noticeable doesn't mean that it's a bad stim. A stim is bad if it fulfills one or more of these criteria:

Does it cause physical harm? (biting, head-banging)

Does it pose a health risk? (placing objects in the mouth, spinning until she falls down)

Does it make a mess or destroy things? (ripping paper)

Does it violate others' personal space? (playing with their hair without permission)

Does the autistic child say they want to change the stim?

Do not attempt to stop stims because they look weird. As a parent, teacher, or educator, it's understandable to be worried about autistic children being bullied. However, modifying the child's behavior for this reason sends the message that bullying is the natural consequence of looking different, and it is their fault for failing to be normal. It is the bullies who need the behavior change, not their victim.

Spend part of a day teaching students what autism is, and how to be supportive and helpful.

As a teacher, take bullying very seriously (in all forms, for all victims).

Cultivate an atmosphere of respect for individual differences. Children will model their behavior after yours.

Consider whether it is worth the energy to redirect. Teaching takes time and effort. It can be even more effort for the autistic child, if the new stim doesn't work quite as well. Trying to redirect too many stims can harm their self-esteem and ability to focus. Save serious interventions for serious cases.

EditUnderstanding the Stim

Once you've determined that the stim causes legitimate harm, it's time to figure out (1) what need it fulfills and (2) what other stims fulfill the same need.

Figure out what triggers the stim. What circumstances arise before the child begins stimming? Keep a journal tracking each instance. Here are some examples. (Keep in mind that possibilities are not limited to this list.)

Boredom/sensory seeking

Frustration

Hunger

Fear or pain

Consider what need the child is trying to address. Stimming is a tool. Talk to the child about it if you can, or draw hypotheses based on your log. Here are a few example possibilities:

Pain management

Sensory seeking (heavy work, touch, vestibular, etc.)

Release of pain or emotion

Cry for help or attention

Go to the autistic community. There is a group of experienced people who know exactly how these stims work—autistic adults. Try reading blogs and reaching out through the #AskAnAutistic hashtag.

Read lists of stims.

Read from autistic adults who had the same stims. What did they use as replacements? Did the replacements work?

Draw up a list of alternative ways to fulfill the need. The child can try these out and use the ones that work best.

For a heavy work sensory seeker, try wall push-ups, lifting heavy objects, and grasping the hands and pulling the elbows away from each other.

For a biter, get gum, candy, and chewy jewelry.

For a head-banger, try heavy work, hitting their fist or head against couch cushions, or hitting their head against a glider rocker.

EditTalking to the Child

Take the child aside and explain your feelings about their harmful stim. Make it clear why this stim is not a good one, so that they recognize that there is a good reason for them to stop. Then propose your suggestions.

For example, "It worries me when I see you hitting your head like that. You could hurt yourself. I'm sure it's not fun for you either. What if you tried punching pillows, or hitting your head against couch cushions instead?"

Many nonverbal children can understand spoken words, even if they look inattentive. Explain it even if you aren't sure that they can understand.

Have a dialogue about the stim. Ask your child if they have any ideas for replacement stims, and what they think would help them use the harmful stim less. If their ideas are incorporated into the plan, it helps them feel ownership of the process.

"Do you think chewy jewelry would help?" "Would you like to help me pick out some jewelry from the website?"

"This is the list of ideas I wrote. What do you think? Should we add or change anything?"

"Let's go to the store this afternoon, and you can pick out the stim toys you want to try."

Talk about how you can help. Your support can help the child transition to a better coping mechanism. For example, if your son puts objects in his mouth, and the two of you decide that gum is better, he may not have gum on hand all the time. Make it clear that whenever he wants gum, all he needs to do is ask, and you'll give it to him.

Discuss prevention for stims that only arise under distress. For example, if your student hits herself when she's upset, talk to her about what makes her so upset, and what you can do to help. Maybe she can't handle noisy classrooms, or she's struggling with English, or she has an underlying condition that's giving her headaches. Address the underlying problem and the bad stim may disappear.

Give gentle reminders if you notice them using the harmful stim again. They may use the stim unconsciously, forget about the alternatives, et cetera. Speak patiently so that they know you aren't mad at them. Ask them what they should do, or remind them what they should do.

"LeBron, is that food? Does it belong in your mouth?" "What belongs in your mouth?"

"What do we do when we want to play with hair?"

"Remember, when we want to spin, we stop before we get dizzy. Your trampoline is right over there if spinning isn't enough."

"Honey, you're hurting your head."

Be compassionate if they are upset. Autistic children may revert to harmful stims if they are under large amounts of stress. Use a very patient tone of voice, and ask as little of them as possible to avoid further stressing them. If they are in danger of harming themselves, give a gentle reminder. Otherwise, choose to remind them once they're calm or just let it slide.

"Julie, I understand you're upset and hurting. Why don't we put a pillow between your hands and your head so you don't injure yourself?"

"Please don't bite yourself. Here's your stress ball and chewy toy. Would you like to take one?"

"Rosario, I saw that you were hitting yourself this morning. You seemed very upset, and I was worried about you. Would you like to talk about what happened?"

Avoid grabbing or crowding them, as they may panic and lash out.

Congratulate them when they successfully use the new stim or ask for help. While they probably understand why they should do it, a little encouragement from you never hurts. It will help them remember to keep working on it, feel proud of their progress, and use healthy stims to keep everyone happy and safe.

"LeBron, I'll get you a carrot right away. Thank you for asking."

"Rosario, I'm glad that you told me that the classroom was too loud as soon as it started bothering you. You didn't hit yourself once! Feel free to come to me any time you're getting really upset."

"Julie, I just wanted to say how brave and strong you were, head-butting the couch cushions today instead of punching yourself. You did a wonderful job handling your frustration, and I'm proud of you."

"Alison, thank you for biting your chewy necklace instead of your hand. Let me know if you want any gum to chew if you get tired of your necklace."

EditPositive Lifestyle

The right lifestyle can help an autistic child adapt well to the world and live a happy life.

Give your child plenty of exercise. Activity can help boost mood, improve general health, and moderate the need to stim. Try taking walks, swinging, hiking, climbing, swimming, biking, and whatever the autistic child might enjoy.

Offer plenty of positive stimming activities. Stimming is important to your child's sense of well-being. Here are some items you can keep around the house for them to interact with:

Beanbag chair

Swing

Fidget toys (tangles, stress balls, and more)

Floor trampoline

Lava lamps and fans to watch

Protect your child from anti-autism influences. Some therapists will try to force compliance, extinguish stimming, or do other things that harm your child. Only take your child to therapy that they enjoy (or at minimum, feel neutral towards). Make it clear to other adults that your child's differences are to be respected.

ABA therapy can be dangerous, particularly if done by providers who aren't careful in their approach. Be cautious about compliance-based therapies, as they may harm more than they help.

Steer your child away from negative or unkind people. If your child is mistreated, talk to them and explain that what happened wasn't okay and the child didn't deserve it.

Autism cannot be cured or ethically suppressed. If someone is claiming that they can do this, beware.

Work on your child's strengths too. Encourage their special interests and other abilities. Find ways to make them feel competent and talented. Growing up is not only about improving one's weaknesses, but building upon one's strengths.

Keep communication open. Honor all the child's communication attempts—speech, typing and other forms of AAC, gestures, body language, and behavior. Paying attention to the child's communication encourages them to communicate more. Help them learn to recognize their needs and ask for help when they need it.

Practice patience. Your child faces many everyday struggles that non-disabled people never have to worry about. If you were in their situation, you'd cry and melt down too. Treat them with compassion, and presume competence, and treat them like they want to behave well.

Shower them with love. Your child is a person with feelings. Show that you care about them (including the autistic parts of them), and that they are not a burden or tragedy in your eyes. Your acceptance and love are what they need most of all.

EditTips

If the replacement stim isn't working very well, it may be that it doesn't address the underlying need. Go back to researching and observing.

EditRelated wikiHows

Handle Stimming in Autistic Children

Make a Behavior Intervention Plan for an Autistic Child

Reduce Maladaptive Behavior in Children with Disabilities

Replace Harmful Stims

Be Patient With Kids

Choose Toys for Autistic Children

Listen

Raise Children Who Think for Themselves

Stim

EditSources and Citations

The Stimming Checklist: There's a flap for that (contains both positive and negative examples)

Autism Wiki: Stimming

Cynthia Kim: Socially Inappropriate

Stimming (a parent's personal reflection)

Julia Bascom: Quiet Hands trigger warning for ableism and abuse

from How to of the Day https://ift.tt/2El9pvw