#I’m sad and pissed over these fictional characters

[vickyshinoa12]

Alright I have to speak about this topic again…

As I said in the other post about the creator and people harassing them… yeah they are mad mad because of the new update.You know? The one where you can’t go on him anymore? Yeah that one. I already made a repost about it which I’m just sad about it. I ain’t gonna stop playing to see him though I’m just gonna say bye from the distance and do the /e wave. He is an introvert so he isn’t gonna be a fan of physical touch and whatnot which I won’t press it on him to continue. It’s the developers idea and stuff so don’t get your panties in a huge twist about it. And no the whole thing with the creators oc and whatnot isn’t Sebastian’s wife or whatever… and if it was a wedding band it’s not gonna stop people from doing their thing. Which the developer knows this, they’re not gonna stop you. Unless you all harass and shit like some of the fandom is doing.

I love Sebastian too, but being sick in the head and hurting the person who created him isn’t gonna make it better for you. It’s going to make you loose that connection and whatnot and eventually we won’t have a game, if it keeps up. You have to be positive and read fanfics or draw like I do and many others as well. Don’t shove it in the develop’s face tho cause it’s just going to annoy them. You can share and then talk amongst yourselves about your ocs and stuff I will gladly see your ships with Sebastian. Yeah it’ll make me hurt, but I won’t hurt you and “flame you” and say you’re incorrect.

It’s sad how I have to say this again… and people still spreading miss information left and right and it’s pissing me the hell off… you all know better. You know not to treat someone like this just because your precious oc isn’t canon with a fictional character. Many series do this and Naruto is a good example, I liked Minoto and he was married to Kushina and had Naruto. Did I get angry and want to harass the creator (I wouldn’t stand a chance lol) no. I just read fanfics and stuff and eventually got over it. Again the creators oc and Sebastian isn’t canon, I’m just making a comparison if he did get married to someone.

[samuelroukin]

i’m just sooo pissed off bad writing is making me this sad like god. if you’re gonna kill of the most special boy in the whole entire world at least do him justice grrrrrr biting and killing and bloodshed and violence

​i’ve written like 15 posts in my drafts and i only keep making myself more mad but literally crying over him makes me feel STUPID not because “oh it’s just a fictional character” (ok yes that too) but just because the people writing him don’t deserve the fucking vindication

[fillipquesender]

I am once again reminded that people are so damn weird about things. People who are making Ruin stuff are getting bullied??? I’ve seen one person go ‘oh I’m sorry but I will never like Ruin because Solar dead’ (but way longer) on one person’s post but BULLYING?? THERE ARE WORST THINGS THAT LIKING A FUNKY BRITISH ROBOT I LOVE HIM??

Leaving is probably the smart choice but goddamn I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

Its honestly kinda sad that people can get so pissed about someone simply liking a character its so concerning 😭

I've seen it even happen to people when they like a character that has done absolutely nothing wrong and them theres even people agreeing with the person bullying the other like damn why are you so upset over a fictional character did it kill your entire family or somethin 😟

[doki-doki-imagines]

Synopsis: Your posts don’t show up in the tags and it annoys you endlessly, your boyfriend thinks you are really dumb.

Inspired by what is happening to me right now, I think the health of my stomach is way more important than my dumb stuff showing up, my brain is settled, but my body isn’t. Anyway I only choose characters that I think would “bully” you in this situation LOL. So I wrote this because my brattiness won't make me accept the situation, if this doesn't show up I'll laugh a lot btw

Slightly suggestive

Feat. Sae Itoshi, Tabito Karasu

If years ago someone told Sae that he would end up with an idiot of your caliber he would just have scoffed and told them to “fuck off”. Too bad fate had other plans for him, that’s why he finds himself in the living room, with his partner all curled up on his sofa, half-crying half-pissed off because a post of theirs doesn’t show up in the tags.

One of those posts for fictional men moreover. One of those where the reader do something romantic, if not pure smut, with a fictional man.

The idea of throwing you out of his house really tickles his brain, but your long face and teary eyes are pulling the strings of his heart and he really can’t bring himself to do it.

“Dumbass instead of crying over a fictional man shouldn’t you spend time with your real and talented boyfriend?” Annoyance drips from his voice like venom.

“I know! I’m just frustrated okay? It’s like doing good dribbles, but then always getting blocked by a defender. Easier to understand?”

It would have been if only you didn’t sob every 5 seconds, plus Sae can’t avert his eyes from the snot running down your nose making you look even more pathetic.

The gears in Sae’s brain start moving and soon his body follows, that’s how you found your nose roughly cleaned, in typical Itoshi fashion, eyes puffy, but with no tears, and Sae jacket on your shoulder.

“Why are you looking at me like a dumb fish? Move your fat ass I’m gonna take you to that new burger restaurant, I don’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

He is already out of the door when you run to him, attracted to Sae like a moth to light.

Sae knows pretty well frustration, the pain in the stomach when things don’t work as you wish to, but he also knows best how to deal with it; by trying to fill your mind with other activities. Maybe now is the burger and how tasty it is and maybe later your mind will be filled with the taste of his tongue down your throat in the backseat of his car, all the attention on him; “rightfully so” he thinks.

He shouldn’t be jealous of fictional men, he really shouldn’t. It’s what Tabito keeps repeating to himself, but why is he!? He knows the point is that nobody can’t see what you’ve written about those guys and not that you’d rather read than spend time with him, but he’s getting livid every second that goes by. Tabito even contacted the assistence to help with your post, but nothing, it just won’t show up and he doesn’t know what’s worse: your sad face with tears staining your desk or his jealousy, anyway they are both making his heart ache.

“Why do you care so much about this! It should be a hobby, probably nobody cares about what you write anyway!” No – shit, fuck he didn’t want to be so mean.

Tabito doesn’t need to look at your face to understand that he went a bit too far. Your lips wobble ready to let out a sigh, and damn he wishes he could turn them into a smile, but he just stutters

“I’m sorry darling I was too-“ then a ding, you both turn to the light source

You look at your smartphone. Your post finally is showing up.

Screams, tears of joy, you throw yourself on Tabito, the chair he is sitting on tilting back, but not enough to make both of you fall. Fucking finally the God up there took pity on the both of you.

“I’m so happy for you”

“Really? You were pretty nasty about this before, crow boy” you sing sang, sitting now on his thighs, Tabito's pale face making you snicker.

“Will you forgive me?”

“Oh, my jealous boy…maybe if you kiss me-“

You can’t even finish the phrase that Tabito’s lips are on yours, the lips that make the butterflies in your stomach always go crazy, the lips that make you feel warm and loved like no one ever can.

“I don’t think one kiss will make me forget, I think I’ll need some more”

“Gladly” Tabito replies, voice already huskier than before.

Your sweet kisses are the only sound in the room, your post forgot, your mind only for that ass of your boyfriend

Finally

[the-way-astray]

im sure youre bored with asks about your rant, sorry. but i can't wait to see you tear into unlocked, HIS POV

he sucks so much and the fact that people read his thoughts and still like and love him is crazyy to me

i'm not bored at all, anon! i like it when people talk to me about my rant.

i actually started my unlocked novella rant! fun fact: that's actually the reason i posted only the first eight books separately. i was originally going to wait and post the entire thing after unraveled's release, and i got through the first eight books at a reasonable pace, so i started the unlocked novella thinking i'd get through it even faster because it's only sixteen chapters, right? but no. i was so wrong. it was just so. much. too much. like i'm not kidding when i say i had something to say about keefe like every paragraph of that novella. it was overwhelming as shit and slowing me way down because i couldn't even get through a page of his pov without writing down like a page of rant material.

eventually i stopped because i decided i needed to lay some ground rules about what not to include to make sure that i wasn't just saying effectively the same thing over and over again and running it into the ground. but then, i was also like, but isn't the point of this format of rant to include all of keefe's worst moments and aren't i taking away from that by cutting stuff out, even if it's repetitive? and i didn't know how to resolve that, so my solution was just. do it later. and then i put it down and never got back to it. so that's how much stuff i have to say about keefe in unlocked, lmfao.

he does suck indeed (in my opinion)! it's insane to me, too. i can honestly say i have no clue how people manage to still like him, but then again, he is a fictional character, not a real person, and sometimes likable qualities or a well-written character arc aren't as important to people as relatability, and i'm sure there are many people that relate to him or his trauma.

anyway because you seem eager, have a few excerpts from my unlocked novella rant. just for you, anon:

“[ . . . ] Keefe could feel Fitz’s sour guilt swirling through the air.” (555) Not only was Fitz actively trying to help Keefe feel better, but he also felt bad about reading Keefe’s mind to do it. Keefe had no good intentions with his comment about Sophie and Fitz’s breakup (he literally just did it to rile Fitz up), and didn’t even feel sorry about it afterward. So why do I never see people talking about that, whereas Fitz is questioned for his actions here?

“‘[ . . . ] because you end up making the damage permanent.’ ‘I’m not damaged—’ ‘You’re right. That was the wrong word.’” (556) What the heck??? This always pisses me off so much every time I read it. Keefe purposefully twists Fitz’s words to make it seem like he said something he wasn’t. He made it seem as if Fitz was launching a personal attack on him for his new abilities, where Fitz was simply stating that Keefe would end up with permanent physical damage if he didn’t take his medicine and rest. Just for reference, Sophie said the exact same thing to Keefe in Nightfall and he didn’t immediately accuse her of personally attacking him. So there are some double standards there. But then. Fitz actually coddles Keefe and says that he was right, and claims that he used the “wrong word”. Wow. I- The way everyone in this series just bends to Keefe’s will however little or much sense it makes infuriates me. What the heck, Keefe. Grow a fucking spine. It’s just a word. Why does he have to complain and whine about everything all the time???

“[ . . . ] until Fitz had to go and prove that he was the worst best friend in the history of best friends by asking, ‘Okay, but . . . what about the mimicking?’” (560) He’s the worst best friend because he brought all the information to the table? Wow. And no, Fitz isn’t the worst best friend ever. Keefe is. He takes pleasure in seeing Fitz angry and sad. I can’t imagine a more subtly degrading and manipulative friend to have than Keefe.

“[ . . . ] Fitz told her—because he was begging for a face-punch. And if the world hasn’t gotten so spinny, Keefe might’ve given it to him [ . . . ]” (561) Fun fact, Keefe had an entire moral dilemma in Flashback over the fact that he feels like violence comes easier to him than most other elves. Sophie had to spend an entire forced consolation scene basically lathering him up because he has no fucking spine. So here’s an inconsistency with Keefe’s character right here. He should’ve felt really freaked out by this thought right here because it’s an example of his “violent tendencies” coming out. But he doesn’t. He moves past it like it’s nothing. More proof that Keefe never actually worried about that and Shannon just needed something for Sophie to comfort Keefe over. It never actually amounts to anything of actual value with regards to his arc or story. 

“‘Uh, for the record, most of the emotions are coming from you, Fitzy. You wouldn’t happen to have some unresolved feelings for anyone in this room, would you?’” (561) Keefe continues to purposefully try to provoke Fitz and hurt him for no other reason than that he enjoys seeing his best friend in pain. Why can’t he keep his nose out of other people’s business? Why does he have to be so cruel? Why is Fitz still best friends with this pond scum? All he does is annoy, embarrass, and act cruel toward his supposed “friends”. Why do people like this guy??? He is so toxic, so subtly degrading, so deceptively manipulative, it blows my mind. Does he have something against treating people nicely or something?

“If Fitz’s grumpy resentment had been the only emotion churning around the room, Keefe would’ve let him stand there and stew in it—maybe even made another joke to amp it up. But Foster’s feelings were such a brutal mix of hurt, heartache, and humiliation that he had to mumble, 'Sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I just meant—’” (562) What an upstanding guy. What an awesome best friend. When I purposefully say something cruel to make my best friend feel bad, he can take it. But when my crush feels bad? However will she like me if I’m mean to her? It’s just another example of Keefe’s tendency to be cruel for no reason, as well as his obsession with Sophie. He knew he made Fitz feel bad, but he actually considered making it worse. Wow. And “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded” is just a straight-up lie. He meant it to be cruel, and that’s what it came out as. So in case you think Sophie and Keefe’s relationship is built on any sort of trust or mutual comfort, think again. He just tried to gaslight her. Again.

[c-t-r-l14]

Everytime I think about Alex, the quality of my day decreases. I could be having the best day ever, and then Alex pops into my mind, and then BOOM‼️ DAY RUINED‼️

I’m so deadass ya’ll. I get IRRATIONALLY angry everytime that man even enters my mind. And then I have to really remind myself that he isn’t even a real person, and I’m actually getting pressed over a fictional character.

I think that’s a testament to how good Saku’s writing is. I was literally sad over this audio for WEEKS. I told all of my friends about it—and would not STOP yapping about it. It’s been three whole months since this audio came out, and to this DAY I am still a mess over it. It got to the point where I can’t even listen to any of Alex’s audios anymore because hearing his voice just pisses me off so much. I’m still trying to rack my brain about Alex’s thought process on the day he broke up with his partner. Not to mention the amount of times I wrote a whole novel’s worth of rants about how much I don’t like him.

I’m really out here getting mad over a breakup that isn’t real. I’m getting pissed off at a person who doesn’t even exist. I cried over this damn audio, ya’ll.

Imagine being that good of a writer that you have people still thinking about your characters months after you wrote and published your work? Your characters, dialogue, and story immortalized in people’s brains?

Good thing you don’t have to. Saku’s channel is just a few clicks away.

[mamuzzy]

The “Personality and Personality Disorders” chapter of my blurb series is still in progress and the current part I’m working on (chapter 1 of Order 66) is a bit triggering for me, so the process is a bit slower than I anticipated.

But I returned back with a little treat for you as in

Kal Skirata with Narcissistic Personality Disorder: THEORY AND HEADCANON

This theory is based on my experiences living with a person with NPD and also other researches. Because this is a spectrum illness, what you will read here will probably not apply to everyone. THIS IS NOT A NPD-DEMONIZING POST, THIS IS NOT A KAL SKIRATA BASHING POST. This is about a fictional character is showing similiar traits to Cluster B personality disorders.

I’ve made this post a couple days of ago how Boba saw Kal Skirata when he was a kid and made me think about how the narrative treats Kal.

Kal is often described the small, aggressive, unmistakably fanatical mandalorian warrior, who has talent to piss of everyone who he meets.

And the narrative usually mentions that his conflicts with Walon Vau were so intense often the knives were out to settle the dispute. But not just with Vau, Kal even managed to piss off Jango too.

The sad part, that these only happened off-screen. In the past, in the Kaminoan era of that 10 years 100 training sergeant were isolated from the world with no outside ties, and had to deal with the separation, had to deal with training an army of child slaves, and HAD TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER. 100 warrior locked in one place for 10 years.

And you put a Kal Skirata in the group.

I had to fucking laugh, when I read an article about how actually group therapy psychologists and nurses love when a person with a personality disorder gets into the group and recovery community for taking-notes-reasons. Because that person make sure that THINGS. WILL. HAPPEN. AND SHIT. WILL. GET. DONE.

I can confirm. I was that person in group therapy.

Kal Skirata is a very charismatic person, but not because he is prince charming, no.

But because he is confident, he has unshakable beliefs in things, and his externalized emotions stick to people. Kal is very open with his emotions. He shows when he is happy. He shows when he is satisfied, he cries when he is sad, and his rage is fiery when he is angry -> though his relationship with anger is a bit difficult.

Confidence, overconfidence usually comes from overcompensation for having insecurities. Abandonment issues. Lacking something that others have. Lack of safety. LACK OF SELF.

But what I want to say is, a person with personality disorder has a very rich emotional life, maybe TOO RICH. Too much to the point it will become to the environment and its people hard to handle. It’s not something people can tolerate in a long run. Just like people with PD works with the black & white mentality, the outside perspective about these people is the same: You either hate to be around them and you don’t want to do anything with them, or you learn to recognize the positive aspects of this behavior and learn to form healthy boundaries through healthy communications. Relationship is about two people after all and not about dominance fight over who is wrong and who is right.

But getting constantly into fights on Kamino with Vau, or Jango, or threatening the Kaminoans ARE the signs of existing aggression and dealing with aggression and aggressive feelings are also the traits of personality disorders. And when challenged with facts or truths that are shaking the narrative of the SELF can often lead to aggressive lashing out.

I believe when Kal said in the books that he would never laid a hand on the Nulls or the Commandos during their time on Kamino and he never did. Kamino was a hell with even hellish compromises and the worst deals of the history of worst deals. But Kal wouldn’t hurt a child. He taught them love and taught them how to endure the hell while keeping them away from decommission.

I kinda find it baffling that people find Din and Grogu’s relationship wholesome... but everyone loses their marbles over Kal and his biological sons. But I guess when Disney does it, it's alright. But eh. Tumblr double standards.

I think this compassion weren’t true for anyone else. Kal threatened kaminoans. Kal threatened co-workers who hurt cadets. But because I believe that Kal tried to work on himself to not do the same things what Munin did with him, I think people or some kind of behavior had to trigger that aggression to come out.

Family and children is always a sensitive spot for Kal and I’m not surprised that during the training Kal ways always on the edge. Always on the edge of lashing out but lashing out to cadets is a taboo, I mean, they are the key to his salvation -> Another aspect of NPD is the grandiosity.

But also…

Kal is a very social person. And it’s shit, when you are a social person, YOU WANT PEOPLE AROUND YOU, you want to love people, you want people to love you, but you are unable to conform. You want your voice heard, and YOUR VOICE WILL BE HEARD, whether people want it, or not.

Speaking of grandiosity, his plans of saving the souls of the Clones by making them Mandalorians. Kal arrived on Kamino purposeless, depressed, without anyone to care about him. And while he did the compassionate thing and basically adopted six mentally ill children, he found himself a purpose and a life goal: a religious goal of connecting the clones to their roots, being mandalorians, making them mandalorians and with it, giving them something to be proud of right from the start. <- Boba is kinda right about Kal being fanatical.

And then he found an even bigger purpose later: Stopping the accelerated aging of the Kaminoans. AT ALL COST.

And when Ordo feigned destroying Ko Sai’s, Ordo basically destroyed his only purpose that made his automaton body clockwork machine vessel go forward.

An NPD parent who loves their child is a TIGERMOM and Kal is pretty much a tigermom. NPD parent realizes their kid is being bullied at school, so they just storm in, grabs the kid and yells at the kid until the kid doesn’t want to live anymore from the humiliation (works in short term, suck in long run for the hurt one). The protecting instincts are working just right, but the channeling of this protection went haywire due not asking: “Child, what can I do for you to ease your pain? Do you need me to fuck them up or do you need a hug?”

But an NPD parent is also

Kal: My kid who I love more than anything destroyed my entire life and it is my fault and I should have done better to raise him better.

And also

Kal: I love my child more than anything and I know what is best for them. I know that they will hate me for it, but their safety is more important than how they feel about me. I will make the decision for them.

Kal: I don’t actually have problem with the Jedi and Kaminoans NOW that I basically hide them in my own house, because I recalibrate things in my mind to make it sense to me to be okay to hide jedi in the closet, but people are now expecting me to execute them because of things I said in the past, and the lady I have crush on now looks at me bad, please someone kill me.

Personality Disorders are all about these weird little contradictions and extremes and expecially the Cluster B variations that are famous for their dramatical, theatrical and grandious world view.

Overall I say, in the books Kal is fighting and STRUGGLING to fight down his bad urges. He REALIZES that he thinks about certain things the wrong way, but he just can’t change. Not alone. Not without support. And I think Imperial Commando, far way from the military life could have been a good start to unfold these topics. :((((

Trauma recovery is never a straight line to the heaven. Trauma recovery is the hell itself, and some days it’s easier to deal with the obstacles and sometimes you start at just like Day 0. And for me, this is why Kal’s story is important. He fucks up constantly, he trips in his own legs, but hey, this is mental illness is all about.

But he never stops trying to be a good man and eventually doing the right thing.

[clemthecustestmonster]

my cousin is currently reading acowar and says ryhsand is her favorite male in the acotar universe and it’s making me sad that her saying that gives me the same ick as when people like tamlin in the first book. Rhysand really had potential but he had to be a bitch to nesta, and lie to feyre (he also has done other things, this is just what comes to mind first). all the bat boys had so much potential but have been ruined. It pisses me off sm that cas gets angry at nesta for talking rudely about rhys, that az is possessive over a woman he just has wet dreams about (like he doesn’t see her as the complex person she is), and most importantly, that the entire inner circle is so emotionally immature and putting the brunt of dealing with THIER SHITTY ATTITUDES ON TWENTY YEAR OLDS WHEN THEY ARE OLD AS SHIT. I liked the inner circle so much in acowar and now i have such a hard time supporting them at all. i still like cassian but that is only because i am actively choosing to ignore (well, try to ignore) the shit he’s given his mate and i have decided to give azriel a chance because i am hoping that if his plot line with gwen plays out he will no longer give off that pervert vibe, but overall i am just sad that these characters i really loved were ruined.

all that said, this is why i am team vanserra. lucien is still great, eris has so much potential and i hope we see a redemption arc for him, and LOA seems unproblematic. i just really hope that the inner circle starts going to counseling or something in the next book so they can sort their shit out because i’m tired of only liking the fan fiction version of their characters.

[ancientgreecehistorynerd]

hi moottt how was ur day?

i have some bookish questions for u bc why not

-what is ur favourite genre of literature?

-what are your top 5 favourite books?

-what are your top 3 favourite authors?

-do you have a favourite book character? if so, who are they? (feel free to list more than one)

-what is your favourite romance trope?

-what do you like to see in a main character?

-what are your thoughts on queer literature?

-what is a bookish pet peeve you have?

-do you like to purchase books, borrow them, or read them online?

-do you often read books translated from other countries?

thats all for now :) have a nice day

hello! i’m doing okay in the middle of moving tho so stressful haha

help did i never answer this? i’m sorry i’m actually tumblr illiterate like crazy

My fav genre is probably hm… def fiction haha young adult and contemporary…? it said those were genres i’m so sorry i don’t know the names of them and i’m an anxious mess! but if it’s got gay people and mental illness i’ll take it. i like dystopian as well!

top five NOT IN ORDER LOL

-girl in pieces by kathleen glasgow

-solitaire by alice oseman

-radio silence by alice oseman

-the perks of being a wallflower by soeben chbosky

-blood of olympus by rick riordan

(they change all the time haha)

-for authors i would def say

-rick riordan

-alice oseman (obv)

-and hm i haven’t read more than one of glasgows books so possibly suzzanne collins maybe? AUGHH IM SO INDECISIVE! (i do have fav fanfic authors tho haha)

NICO DI ANGELO THE SON OF HADES AND WILL SOLACE THE SON OF APOLLO THEYRE FROM RICK RIORDANS GREEK DEMIGODS SERIES(S) AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE MY SPECIAL INTETEST THEIR COOL AS FUCK AND HE IS SO ME I AM SO THEM THEYRE MY EVERYTHING AND I LOVE THEM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF (wait that’s not a good comparison uhh) I LOVE THEM MORE THEN FOOD ITSELF 🗣️

as someone who is demiromantic i’ve got to say friends to lovers since nothing else makes sense in my mind haha other then that hurt/comfort and just being domestic are UGH love it! SUNSHINE X GRUMPY as well. I eat it up everytime.

i love when main characters are similar to me so mentally ill gay very sad etc etc lol but besides that i would say complex? i hate it when authors make “i’m so happy all the time” characters the main character like i need DEPTH where’s the FLAVOR. so i suppose just not being perfect?

there needs to be more of it lol. i’m loving how much of it is being made to day but tbh in my opinion some authors do it wrong… i love when being queer is a major part of a characters personality because well they’re proud! but it’s when an author makes the entire character based off of that with no other personality traits. sexualizing queer relationships too like…. yikes! would love to see some more aroace and genderqueer rep that isn’t just boy/nb/girl tho!

when endings are rushed! it’s terrible i remember i loved this one book when i was younger that had the og “i’m nothing like y’all” as the cover haha. i forget what it was called sorry! but there was a great story and then it ended with her friends saying “sorry for excluding you and they went on to win the state math fair!” what. YOU JUST HAD A FULLY FLESHED OUT STORY AND YOU DID THAT??? i’m sure nobody likes them but they especially piss me off. skipping over important scenes as well and just showing the aftermath! non floppy books. FIX ITTTTT. also tbh smut? i mean i don’t mind it but that’s what ao3 is for i’m fine with the smut where they don’t show it like in charlie and nicks first time in heartstopper where it’s just kinda vague but as soon as i see a dick beint described im OUT. and books that just are smut like dude there’s so many better things you could be writing about!

ngl i am a massive book purchaser. i used to get them all from the library but thennn i got a bookshelf and discovered what annotating is… i just love being able to go back on what i’ve read whenever i want! and the covers are pretty :)

no actually! i don’t think i ever have tbh? i think the only time that happened was when i translated an official nico di angelo short story from italian haha

thank you if you listened to my yap! also i’m so sorry i didn’t see this :( also if i already responded to this and i forgot you can just kill me please and thank you. also have a good day too so sorry i didn’t see this! :(

[discluded]

Hi, what is your pov on some of these comments about mileapo fans being “delulu” and naive bc it’s “just fake bl fanservice”?

Because idk if I’m going crazy but like as a gay person this shit seems borderline homophobic? On the one hand I kinda get where they’re coming from with like the concert “plot” (idk what else to call it 😭), but otherwise seeing how they interact with each other in off-screen/stage moments and their chemistry and the huge ass difference with the entire cast, how they interact with each other vs others, the side couples energy with each other, it’s not that big of a leap… and to imply that it’s dumb or naive for ppl (lots of them queer themselves) to perceive that smells like homophobia to me… idk

I’m not even trying to be mad abt the mileapo thing bc frankly i don’t give a shit what people do or don’t believe about two actors but it’s the dismissive tone of such comments that pisses me off, and I was wondering if maybe you or any of your followers have some thoughts about this too.

Hello friend.

Thank you for trusting me with this delicate ask. Hopefully I can do a good job with it.

I'm hearing a couple of things in your question, part of which I'm guessing is just being able vent (glad to provide the space!) but the crux of which is commenting on the irony of homophobia in Kinnporshe / BL fandom. And yeah. You're not imagining it.

CW: Homophobia. I'm serious, this is your only warning. Some of this really upset me today and I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing.

I saw this after I got your ask and already spent some time thinking about how to respond, but these comments were in response to Tong coming out at KPWT Manila on Tiktok. I hate looking at them, but I'll embed them in case the tweet ever gets deleted as a reminder that EQUALITY IS NOT REAL IN THIS WORLD.

I won't lie, this hurt my feelings a lot and it's not even about me. I spent half a second being mad before just being sad about this for hours.

I've been into BL for so long, I am tired of this round-about argument we keep having over women, many of whom are queer or questioning, enjoying queer stories where the characters are male. There are culturally-adept literary and queer studies scholars who do research on this.

That being said, a not-small proportion of the fan base is made people who are genuinely homophobic and use BL as their fantasy. Just like watching lesbian porn doesn't make straight men allies, neither does watching BL make straight women allies. I am too exhausted to explain why they do but it's basically a mix of misogyny in not wanting to see other female actors opposite an actor you like but also using queer men as placeholders for your fantasy. Sometimes in fiction, but other times in reality.

I'm with @mirrorofprinces, we need to attack more homophobes for this. 😒😒😒 no more fighting over gay rights, time for KPTS-inspired gay wrongs and gay violence on the gaygenda.

The "delulu" and "it's just fanservice" comments are...indeed kind of homophobic. I respect people who don't want to comment on or interpret their relationship, like you said, or interpret it differently. And it kind of sucks to be like "well some people will be homophobic and you have to share a space with them" in fandom about a queer story, but how do you confront people, some of whom are happy to be openly homophobic, about homophobia that is more nuanced?

But I think one thing that undermines MileApo's authenticity is that BibleBuild do so much fan service despite also claiming not to. Fan service is a Thai BL industry standard with other actor pairs. And as a reality check to myself, I have looked at some of those pairs interacting and yeah. Definitely brotherly or fan service there.

The other part of the problem is young people, especially after the pandemic, genuinely do not seem to know what normal human interaction looks like, including the difference between what's fake and what's real AND what's platonic vs. what's flirty or romantic affection.

As for what my friends/moots think, here's @mellowroxy and @cookiedoughfiesta's thoughts from August about Mile saying he was in love with Apo about the "delulu" comments. (Though let's be real... sometimes the fandom is also... a bit much 🤣🤣🤣)

When I talked to Yams (@mellowroxy) about this earlier, here's what she had to add on to the point:

Me: fans were freaking out when Tom called Zendaya 'my MJ' on his birthday wish to her, and that's way more subtle than what Mile and Apo are doing

Yams: There wouldn’t be this much push back if it was a guy and girl. Most people would be like “oh another on set romance” and call it a day. On the Zendaya and Tom topic, if this was decades back when interracial couples were taboo as fuck then they wouldn’t come out as well.

A conscious reminder equality has always been hard-fought for.

But trust me, this paradox of people who watch BL who are homophobic have not escaped Mile and Apo's notice either.

"Equality isn't real in this world."

Apo's comment at KPWT Bangkok day 2, which many people have noted was likely about complaints over them reenacting Kinn and Porsche's first kiss live. I'm not going to look for it but @soft-husbands mentioned she saw a fancam that blurred the kiss out on Youtube 😑 (Why did you watch KPTS in the first place then.)

"People say that they are open minded, But they are actually not."

And isn't that the crux of it.

As I always say, you haven't have an opinion on the truth. So in the end, no one's opinions on the situation matters except for Mile's and Apo's. But it does suck to bear the brunt of people's negativity doesn't it.

Hopefully this didn't make you feel more sad... but you're not alone in noticing it at least.

[phantom-vex]

an open letter to the discord equivalent of a seagull shit

@alasse-earfalas​

first of all: 

I mean, gang. Seriously. I was not that subtle. 

So hi, a reintroduction for you all. Hi there, I'm Vex! I'm an anarchist aroace trans man who's taken part in multiple protests for trans rights around the UK. I've been on HRT coming up on two years.

I am living proof that what you spread is utter bullshit. I had been living as a man for 3 years before I was able to qualify for HRT with private healthcare. I got referred to the UK's *only* youth trans clinic in 2018, and I am yet to speak to anybody. Not a doctor, not a nurse, not an absolute soul. They are NOT handing out hormones to kids, and performing surgeries. They, at least in the UK, are actively taking those rights away, delaying the process for years upon years. If you get referred to the Tavistock NOW, in 2023, it is an estimated TWENTY FIVE years.

I had to bend over backwards to get my gender changed, sending them years of bank statements, alongside a doctors note, and any and all ID I had on me at the time - I was without this crucial ID for about 6 months. I frequently suffer HRT shortage delays as a result of stock issues, or sites not wanting to deal with transgender people. I had to try 4 different pharmacies before one would take my perscription.

Being trans is not fucking easy. There's no trans agenda - if there is, where the fuck is it other than your own pitiful, sad imaginations. This server is PATHETIC, by the way. I cannot imagine being so pissed about some gay teen's headcanons that I make an entire server about it. "Queering these characters into oblivion" my fucking arse, they don't HAVE any canon sexualities! Mr Nintendo has never come out and said "Link is a confirmed heterosexual". These headcanons genuinely do nothing to you, and they're not being forced down your throat - you're just homophobic.

And that's the crux of the issue here, isn't it. You talk a big game about welcoming queer people into your server, but you actively platform people like Flowers, or credit known homophobes like Matt Walsh and Jordan Peterson. That's not acceptance. There's no "civil" discussion either - there's only discussion you agree with, even when people are legitimately trying to engage with you in good faith arguments. Which, transparently, was what I was doing. I had hope, for a bit, that I might be able to change your minds. But I can't pretend like you were actually listening. 

Like this server wasn't just a hateful front for grown adults getting pissy about headcanons.

You’re not oppressed. Until your love is illegal for hundreds of years, until you’re wiped out by a virus the government won’t do anything about, until you’re denied healthcare for 25 years, until you’re allowed to be legally discriminated against, until books about people like you are taken out of libraries, until you are killed for just being yourself - you are not oppressed. Grow the fuck up, and stop whinging about fictional elves. 

[allylikethecat]

ally!!! congrats on finishing the january prompts !!! i have enjoyed them so much & am very happy to have 31 prompts to look back on when i’m need of some fictional!george and matty

also!!! as the self-proclaimed #1 fan of YKWTCI I was very excited for this update and it did not disappoint (tuesdays have quickly become my most anticipated day of the week thanks to u and ur fics)).

Poor fictional!taylor and fictional!matty are clearly going through it & you portray their struggles so well. I am especially loving how you portray fictional!matty & his struggles with his new found fame as taylor’s boyfriend ((also the fact that the money from fictional!taylors drawer went ‘missing???’… hmmm wonder who took that - such a good detail!!!)

also fictional!george makes an appearance?????!!! YAY. I love me some fictional!george and cannot wait for a fictional!tay & george interaction — i feel that the angst & jealousy may just be unmatched.

last thing and i’ll shut up!! — the equestrian fic??!!!? do i know anything about horses?? no. do i know that i am absolutely going to devour this fic? yes. the enemies to lovers vibes are so strong and this version of fictional!matty seems so soft & i am in love with him already. i am VERY excited to see where this goes!!

yours,

— 💌💌💌

Hello My Dear 💌 Anon! I hope you are well!

Thank you so much for following along on the January OTP Prompt Journey! It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, but I had a lot of fun with it, and am super proud that I was actually able to finish them all! (And also so grateful for everyone that read them- thank you so much for being so wonderful and encouraging!) If you're looking for all of the January OTP Prompts one place, or any of my other prompt fills, they can all be found HERE.

I'm smiling so hard at the idea that Tuesdays are becoming a favorite day because of the updates! Thank you so much for following along and the continued support of this fanfic endeavor! I am *also* a huge YKWTCI fan, and am so happy that people are still willing to give it a chance after all of the May drama with these two IRL. I was really excited about this update and am so happy it didn't disappoint!

Oh my gosh thank you so much 🥺 Fictional!Taylor and Fictional!Matty are both very sad and fucked up in their own ways in this fic, (I've been calling them my fictional bisexual disaster duo lol) and I have really enjoyed writing them and developing their characters and motivations. Getting to explore Fictional!Matty's relationship with his essentially "over night" fame in this fic is also a lot of fun- I can't imagine a universe where the character I've created with all of his issues would handle it well, and that it wouldn't have an impact on his self worth only being "desired" because of who his parents, and then later his "girlfriend" are. I was also way too excited about the missing money bit 😂 and was so very much hoping that someone would comment on it so a HUGE thank you for that😂 (this is like when I was very eagerly waiting for someone to comment on Fictional!Matty doing coke in Fictional!Taylor's bathroom and her totally missing it- and then being SO EXCITED when someone commented about it, I'm like yes, excellent, my hints are obvious enough lol)

We still have another chapter before Fictional!Taylor and Fictional!George meet (the meeting will be going down in lucky Chapter 13!) but I am SO EXCITED about their pissing match as they essentially both try and mark Fictional!Matty as theirs meanwhile Fictional!Matty has no idea what's going on and is just trying to make it through the day 😬 I was really excited about this chapter though and getting a little introduction to Fictional!George since he hadn't physically appeared yet.

AHHH Thank you for checking out the Equestrian AU as well! As very much a horse girl, that fic is so much fun for me to write and I am very much my own target audience (then again, I am pretty much always my own niche target audience lol) If I ever am just... assuming that people know too many things about horses let me know and i can try and clarify more. Horse things are just such a part of my day to day life (and the day to day life of the people I am surrounded by) that I sometimes forget that not everyone like, knows what a martingale is. One sided enemies to lovers is one of my FAVORITE things and I am having SO MUCH FUN writing it! Fictional!George hates poor Fictional!Matty so much and Fictional!Matty just wants them to be friends 🥺 I can't wait to get into this version of Fictional!Matty's past- if you think he's soft now just WAIT you are going to want to give him the biggest hug (I know I do!) I also really enjoy writing bitchy Fictional!George and it's been a lot of fun to explore a different dynamic with him!

Anyway, I apologize that I have written you the longest response ever. I was just VERY excited to see your ask! I thought of you when I posted the YKWTCI chapter and am so happy that you liked it! Thank you so much again for always being so lovely and supportive! I hope you have the best rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[devine-fem]

thoughts on a dc ship..dickjay..

I personally absolutely hate it with all living rage in my body, I just want to know your thoughts about it causeidk

Ooof, early in the morning and I’m being hit with n ask like this.

Listen, I just don’t care enough to hate it, I know it exists because it’d be hard to avoid , its one of the most popular relationships on ao3 and I don’t know why? I don’t ever see any dickjay shippers explaining their fixation so I have no idea why it exists.

personally, i don’t care enough to hate it but it irks me enough to avoid it. personally with me i have read some peices of media where two characters relationships are brother like but far from it and the people who sully the characters complexity with that ideation infuriate me so I wonder if its like that???

or they could just look nice together and are fun to draw/are an aesthetically pleasing pair then thats a whole different story… that means they know its wrong n dont care :(

i don’t like it along with ships like that but ive come to terms with that fact that everything you could possibly think of is shipped and there is nothing we can do to stop it. EVERYTHING, i just saw someone reblog art of two character i had screamed on the realization people would even ship it and unfollowed asap but thats my right.

YOU have the ability to mold and create a part of the internet that is specific to you and your interests and what you want to see, that is what tumblr is for.

i just think of the creator of omegle and how he saw the good of the internet since it became a thing but realized quickly how society would use its ability for evil but the evil overwhelmed him and almost killed him. thats truly sad and i dont want to contribute to that type of culture

you should only be sitting down and comsuming media you enjoy! if not whats the point! then youll become bitter. you’ve come to this huge glacier of media called dc with characters you enjoy and instead of filling yourself with serotonin you go and hate on peoples ships 24/7 because you can? thats absolutely pathetic and almost just as bad as shipping it yourself. that will get you avoided along with the shipper. its just weird and mentally draining and unstable behavior… i used to do that! i was one of those people so i know!

ugh, i don’t know man. people are sad and pathetic creatures, sometimes we don’t always do good and we have to do stuff to make living life just a little more tolerable and i could never be the person to want to take that away from someone else, least not anymore.

i hate pulling the “its fiction” card but it is, its fiction and in this climate, what’s happening in real life is so so important. there is real evil happening in the world and if you can’t take that same energy to the world as much as you do non existent ideas that look similar to people.

free palenstine. try and do right by the children facing literal genocide. some things actually matter. some people have real problems and thinking about how people would rather defend their blorbo than ceasefire on children just fucking pisses me off, as it should anyone. makes me so- fmhp. yeah thats my thoughts.

if you want to start drama over this, just block me, you won’t win and i don’t want that embarrassment for you.

[midnightrings]

I apparently have never seen all the asks you got regarding your fic and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you got them.

I've not read much fanfic this year but I did dabble into your Ned/Cat fics on your other blog. You're a great writer and captured their romance well imo. From what I could tell, they were upset about a fic you wrote... that they read all on their own????? Idk how they thought that was beneficial to them at alllllllll

Yikes. Just wanted to say that I hope you blocked them and that they stop trying to engage with you. It's fictional characters at the end of the day

(and the show totally already pitted two brown women-sisters- against one another so if you explored that in your writing it's not new? and it doesn't really take away from your feminism? because writing about something is not advocating for it nor promoting it? then again this is the piss poor reading/piss on the poor website)

Thank you so much <3 It’s good to see some positive messages in my inbox^^

Yeah, people have been hate-reading my one fic since I started publishing it in September and it’s just … bizarre. I’ve been writing fanfics for over a decade and never experienced something like this. Though apparently this has been a problem in the Bridgerton fandom – or at least for this specific ship – for some time now. I wouldn’t know, because I’m not really active in the fandom, but apparently lots of other people are affected by this as well. Which is just sad, because that’s extremely damaging to fandom culture and fanfics. And I honestly don't understand why someone decides to hate-read a fanfic. That’s just such a waste of time.

But I’m not taking their comments too much to heart. It’s always difficult to write about different cultures and I’m always open for criticism, but their arguments are so clearly made in bad faith, because they hated the fanfic from the beginning, and instead of simply leaving it and reading another one, they decided to harass me for some reason.

And the fic itself is pretty innocent, apart from the infidelity, but you know - it’s regency era and a marriage based on duty, so even that part is relatively mild. And as you said, I’m basically just working with what the show offered – in a slightly more angsty and dramatic way, but it’s not that different from the source material. And the absolute last thing I wanted was for Kate and Edwina to be pitted against one another – which is why I made both of them POV characters and made sure that their love for one another would survive throughout the story.

I’m glad you liked my Ned/Cat fics btw :) They’re one of my favorite ships I used to write about, so I wanted to start writing more about them again, even though I’m not that active in the fandom anymore. So I’m happy people liked it, because it’s been a while since I’ve written anything about them. But hopefully, with NedCatWeek taking place soon, I’ll be able to write some more^^

[madtomedgar]

books read in february and march:

Apex Hides the Hurt, Colson Whitehead: Really excellent and excellently written book but not really for me. I think I’m too non-profit for it. A lot of the scathing satire of corporatism and consumerism just made me sad. However, this would be believable as like. A season-long b-plot of Mad Men. I also got stupidly hung up on the band-aid and like i know that it’s an allegory ok but the idea that there are people out there who would just. leave a band-aid on for weeks, including in the shower, on a serious cut, is deeply disturbing to me. That’s definitely a me problem though, and the book is really really well written, sharp, and funny.

God Help the Child, Toni Morrison: I... wanted to like this one, but it felt. Hmmm. Unfinished? Like a kind of half-baked idea poorly executed. Which I hadn’t run into in any previous Morrison books. I also don’t think the way the main character got her “adult” self back by... reclaiming a man and settling down with him? Worked in the modern setting. It’s her only novel that isn’t historical fiction and I think the foray wasn’t very successful.

After the Dance: A Walk Through Carnival in Jacmel, Haiti, Edwidge Danticat: I liked it, it was interesting, I think I wanted something slightly more from it, but good.

Silence is My Mother Tongue, Sulaiman Addonia: Absolutely amazing book. I don’t have much intelligent to say about it. It’s a rich and intense story in a bunch of different directions, highly recommend.

Splendid Slippers: A Thousand Years of An Erotic Tradition, Beverly Jackson: On the one hand this was interesting and informative. On the other hand it was clearly written by someone who had done a lot of narrow research on something she thought was neat, but didn’t have the proper academic training to really interrogate the subject, or her own bias. There was 0 critical analysis of sources. The author claimed to be speaking about 1000 years of history, but over 90% of her sources were from the Qing dynasty. Her background as a textile art historian really kneecapped her, because often she would get so focused on the beauty and intricacy of the shoes she would give that more importance than the effects of this tradition on women’s lives. Amateur attempt, but not without value.

Sorry, Please, Thank You, Charles Yu: I liked the first story, thought it was funny and interesting and had a great sci-fi premise that operated as a brilliant “logical conclusion” critique of a current reality of globalization. But all of his stories have the same mediocre “relatable” every-man protagonist, the tone is the same in most of them, and it just seemed like, often, he was just taking the piss out of something that he didn’t seem to get. His story about the red-shirt was particularly bad. The women in his stories are all incredibly flat, and only there for the men to have feelings about, or to validate the men. There were a couple “the horror of the unlived life” stories that were good, but overall, not great.

The Unpassing, Chia Chia Lin: I loved this one. It beautifully captured the undercurrent of menace of growing up in a household where the parents resent each other over things you don’t understand and they won’t explain to you. It’s a beautifully cinematic book. My only critique is that it relied a little too much on the vignette, and I wanted it to connect a few of them more, or circle back around. It’s a bleak book about ugly realities and ugly feelings. It’s absolutely gorgeous.

[sanctuaryforthelost]

I’m so sad tonight is the last night ever of TWD. I’ve been watching since it premiered back in 2010, when no one (including myself) had a clue what to expect. Like a lot of people who were looking forward to the show, I had high hopes and was pleasantly surprised when it exceeded my expectations. Fast forward 12 years and 11 seasons later and I still love it!

Back when it first premiered, I would occasionally come across people who would say, “I don’t like zombie shows” or “I don’t like horror”. I personally do happen to like those types of shows and movies lol but I would always tell people, “Yes it’s a show about zombies but it’s so much more than that!” And 9-10 times those people would watch and they would love it.

It’s honestly my favorite type of show to watch too. People who would never interact with each other under normal circumstances, coming together and forming a family under the most extreme circumstances. A family who was willing to stand up and fight for each other. And for me it provided an escape from the parts of my real life that were difficult and sad. It gave me something to root for, to cry many tears over (both happy and sad), to be absolutely enraged at at times and occasionally laugh at when our characters were lucky enough to have a moment to enjoy life and be silly.

I’ve cried over characters who have died as if they were real lol, I’ve cried for the reunions when characters were separated and found each other again, I’ve loved seeing characters find love, and I’ve yelled at my tv screen at times when I’ve been pissed off by one of the villains (even Negan back in the day lol!). There’s been some episodes that weren’t my favorite and even a couple of seasons that weren’t my favorite either but I stayed loyal throughout because that’s just me. And that’s life right? Not everything is good all the time but if there’s something that makes it worth sticking out, you keep at it and I did lol!

I would never have expected this show to last as long as it has. And despite its spin-offs, it’s still my favorite…it’s the mother ship, the one that started it all! And I honestly feel there’s more stories that can be told. Yes, I know we have the new spin-offs to look forward to and I am looking forward to them, especially Dead City! But this truly is the end of an era and I’m not good at goodbyes!

I’m gonna be really sad for a while. But I want to thank all of you who I have been lucky enough to meet here. There’s some truly kind people here! One of the first things I did when I was lucky enough to see JDM filming Dead City (which was honestly a dream come true!) was come on here and share and you were all so nice to me about it and equally as excited as I was!

I hope you all enjoy the show tonight. I’m equal parts nervous and excited and I’m feeling really nostalgic but I guess a lot of us are. I’ll be on tumblr most of the night and afterwards most likely looking for some emotional support lol but I promise, no spoilers from me in case you haven’t had a chance to watch! 🤫

Sorry not sorry this was so long lol! And also just an fyi, don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about crying over fictional characters or getting upset about them dying. If they didn’t make you feel something, wtf would you bother watching?! So cry your tears, whether happy or sad! And let’s all be kind to each other (as corny as that may sound!) as we come to the end of this amazing show!

Sending love to you all! 🧟‍♀️ 🧟‍♂️ ❤️