#I’m using the dawn stone bb

[summahsunlight]

Reader Request

Title: Enough

Rating: T

Word Count: 1084

Pairing: Poe Dameron/Pilot!Reader

Summary: From 50 Angsty Questions Prompt list (here), #22 “Which part of me wasn’t enough?”

Warnings: Swearing, angst (is a given since well the prompt list lol)

Request from @anetteaneta​: “Congratulations 150 followers!❤️❤️ these angst quotes are really good.  I’m scared...🤭#22 with Poe? Just don’t be cruel to me! 🥺🥺”.  I couldn’t respond on the ask because I could only read it when I was on my iPad and I write on my MacBook.  Hope I wasn’t too cruel🥺! If you want to make a request, send me an ask with a character and number from this prompt list. 

You were fighting more. As the Resistance struggled to rebuild since Crait, every conversation you seemed to have with Poe dissolved into a shouting match that concluded with both of you in tears and one of you storming out--usually it was Poe, who’d spend the night in Finn’s room, while you laid in your shared bed sobbing. 

Usually in the morning Poe would come back, begging for forgiveness and kissing your tears away.  You would cry and say you were sorry for all the horrible things you had said to him--that you didn’t really mean them.  And for a while, it worked.  You were able to plan missions with him, train with him, recruit with him without conflict. 

But by the end of the day, when exhaustion and stress and fear had you both in their tight grip--you found yourselves back in your shared quarters hurling insults as if they were flash bombs.

Tonight had been no different, although the argument hadn’t started out as a civil conversation like most of them did--you both just began tearing into one another.  You had volunteered for a retcon mission that placed you dangerously close to First Order sympathizers.  Poe thought it too dangerous for you and taken the mission instead.  This infuriated you; you were just as good as he was.  You knew that you could complete this mission successfully and you’d made sure to tell him just that once the door to your quarters shut behind you. 

“It’s too dangerous,” Poe repeated, coldly.

“But not for you, right?” You countered, angrily. “Damn it, Poe! I was there too you know! I was there when the Dreadnaught went down, I was there when Leia demoted you, I was there when you committed mutiny!  Don't act like this is only for you to fucking fix!” 

Poe clenched his fists tightly against his thighs. “I’ve been working for months to fucking fix this! I’ve been on dozens of missions to secure supplies, weapons--allies!  Don’t you dare stand there and insist I’m doing all this as some kind of self-righteous atonement! I know I fucked up! You don’t have to remind me every damn minute of every damn day!”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you glared at him, hotly. “Then let me go on this mission.  I’m just as good as you.  I know how to handle myself. I’ll get the job done.”

“No, I can’t let you take this one.”

“You never let me take any! Why? Do you not trust me?”

“It’s not that...”

“Then what is it, Poe!  Tell me, because I can’t do this anymore!”

He was silent, his jaw clenching, brown eyes suddenly devoid of any emotion, and you broke.  Tears fell hot and fast from your eyes; you’d thought he’d say it was because he loved you, that he didn’t want to lose you, but he remained silent.Had he ever loved you? Or had those been words whispered to you just to get you into bed with him? Suddenly, you hated him, and before you could even stop yourself, you screamed, “Get out! I don't fucking want to see your face anymore than I’ll have to!” 

Poe was startled as you began to throw his belongs at him in a rage. HIs mind reeled as it dawned on him that you were breaking up with him.  He knew it was coming to this; the two of you couldn’t keep fighting like this night after night and think your relationship was going to stay in-tact.  He’d fucked this up too, the best thing that had happened to him, and he managed to fuck it up. 

You were crying, face stained with tears and your voice was raw, hoarse from all the screaming.  Gulping large sobs, you saw his belongings littered around his feet, but his face was stone.  “Please leave,” you sobbed, not wanting to confront your unrequited feelings. “Just... leave... take your things and go!”

“Alright,” Poe whispered, gathering up what he could in his arms before leaving.  “I’ll have Finn or Rey stop by and get the rest tomorrow.”

“Sounds great,” you snapped, choking on your words. Watching him turn to go, part of you couldn’t believe that he wasn’t fighting for you, he was just leaving. As he moved towards the door, you cried out, “Which part of me wasn’t enough?”

Poe paused, briefly in the doorway, and then he glanced back at you. Clutching his clothing in his arms, he shook his head, as if he was going to say something but decided against it.  He was gone then, the door closing on him, and you were alone.

Collapsing onto the bed you once shared with Poe, you sobbed. This wasn’t out of the ordinary--you’d fight, he’d leave, and he always came back in the morning. But when you woke the next morning, your head pounding, throat raw and sore--Poe wasn’t there, which made everything that happened the night before, more final.  

Leia didn’t even question when you asked for the day off. Somehow, you knew that she was aware of the break-up and that she emphasized with you.  So, you shut yourself in your quarters that day alternating between crying on your bed to crying while packing up the remainder of Poe’s belongings. At any moment you expected a knock on the door... it surprised you when it came late in the afternoon in the form of a loud thump! 

Opening the door, BB-8 peered up at you, sadly chirping and asking if this was a bad time.  You smiled at the little droid and feel to your knees in front of him. Reaching out you rubbed his side and whimpered, “It’s never a bad time for you, Bee.”

BB-8 warbled and glanced behind him and then you realized he wasn’t alone--Poe stood in the shadows, hair disheveled more than usual, dark circles underneath his red rimmed eyes.  He’d been crying too and your heart clenched.  Wiping the back of your hand across your face to wipe your tears away, you stood. “Did you send BeeBee-Ate to get your things?”

Poe shook his head. “No,” he said, his voice dripping with sadness, a raw emotion that he had not displayed the night before. “He...he missed you...I told him that he didn’t need to stop seeing you just because... just because we broke up.”

“Do you want...do you want your things?” you asked, adverting your eyes and glancing down at BB-8. “I tried...I tried to handle them with a little bit more care today when I packed them up than when I was chucking them at you last night.” 

“Well, I deserved them being chucked at me.”

“I can...I can hold onto them until you get back from the mission.”

“I didn’t take the mission,” Poe confessed. “You... you were right--you are just as good, you can handle it. I just... I didn’t want you to go because I was too afraid I was going to lose you.  Well, I lost you and it wasn’t because you took a dangerous mission it was because I keep fucking everything up. You were more than enough, sweetheart. And I’m sorry... I’m sorry I didn’t treat you as such.”

Your tears were back and you let them fall, not caring if he saw you cry. “When you...when you said nothing last night... I thought... I thought you didn’t love me. And I...I hated you for that and I just wanted you gone! But... I don’t hate you Poe, I love you and I...”

Poe silenced you, his lips crashing into yours in a heated kiss. “I love you, Y/N, I love you so damn much. I want to fix this, I want to fix us. Please, please, say you want to as well...”

Falling into his arms, you wanted to fix your relationship. It wasn’t going to be easy, you both were so stubborn and strong willed, but you were willing to fight for him and Poe was willing to show you over and over again that every part of you was enough.

[marveloussupernerd]

Boo! - Yoosung Kim

Another day, another part of my randomly generated Halloween “series” of one shots. Today is bb Yoosung. If you saw this posted already 👀 no you didn’t.

Warnings: spoilers for Yoosung’s route

Prompts: haunted house, bb is scared, make out in a secluded spot (I swear I didn’t make this happen y’all could’ve gotten apple cider but this is what the generator chose HAHA)

Summary: Yoosung, freshly injured, wants to spend a fun Halloween night with his partner. He thought after he took all that pain he’d be brave enough to conquer a haunted house. He was wrong...

Yoosung has planned out the whole date. It was your third time going out together since the RFA party. His eye injury had healed considerably, but he still had to wear an eyepatch when he was out and about or focusing so that he wouldn’t get headaches. Still! He didn’t let it get him down. In fact, it made him even more confident. You would never have expected him to plan everything out like this when you first met over the messenger.

It was definitely a Halloween date. Of course, it was Halloween, but what really hinted you in was Yoosung asking you if you had the stuff to dress like a pirate. After a quick run to the store you did.

In fact, you looked kinda hot ? Like not to flex, but you did look really good, bandana and poofy shirt and all. He has asked you to meet him at his apartment and then the two of you would start the date together.

It hadn’t dawned on you why he chose pirates until he walked out, fully dressed. You had just assumed that was the costume he already had and would be easy to coordinate. But nope. It was because, well, his eyepatch. You covered your mouth to hide your shock upon seeing him.

“Pretty smart huh?” He asked, putting his hands on his hips proudly.

“Can I laugh?” You asked timidly, moving your hand away from your face slightly so he could hear you.

“Please do! This was the plan.”

You burst out laughing. You walked over to him and gave him a hug. “You’re literally the cutest, Yoosung.”

“Okay here was my thought process,” he leaned against his door, preparing himself for his story. “You remember when you were trick-or-treating as a kid and it was cold and you had to put a jacket on? That might be too specific... but you know what I mean?” You nodded, listening intently. “But then the jacket ruined your costume and you were all upset. So you vowed that the next year your costume would be something warm with long sleeves so you wouldn’t need a coat. That’s what I did. I didn’t want my eyepatch messing up the costume.”

“It makes the costume,” you added.

His cheeks flushed bright red. “You look really nice by the way. Really, really nice.”

You finally took a good look at him. He looked pretty dashing as well. He has a floofy shirt on too, with a pretty deep cut V-neck, laces tying it up pretty tight to avoid showing much skin though! He paired it with a red vest, some dark jeans, and boots. “Aw you do too Yoosung! I really like the look. I feel like most men’s pirate costumes are like... goofy, but yours looks really good on you,” you babbled on. He simply chuckled in response.

“So, uh, what do you say? Are you ready to see what I have planned?” He asked, hands shoved into his pockets awkwardly.

“Yes! Please tell me!” You grabbed his wrist and pulled lightly. He got the message and pulled his hand out to intertwine it with yours.

He swung it as he walked out the door with you. “I thought maybe we could go to a haunted house.”

“Nuh uh! Have you ever been?”

“Uh...” Yoosung looked at the sidewalk. “Not really. But I bet it’ll be fun!”

“Definitely. I might get scared though. Sometimes these things are really good but other times they’re laughable,” you explained. You knew your fair share about haunted houses and things; you just wanted to prepare him beforehand.

“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you,” Yoosung puffed out his chest. “But, uh, will you drive us?” He asked. He had led you to your car. You giggled and got in, beginning the drive, Yoosung feeding you directions.

The place was kinda scary honestly. Okay, it wasn’t really a haunted house per say, but one of those places with multiple “fear buildings” set up. The goal was to get through as many buildings as possible, one leading to the next, but there being an area in the middle where you could get refreshments and take a break if needed.

Still, the atmosphere was spoopy. Someone at a nearby building was reviving a chainsaw, the buildings looked dreary and abandoned, and you could hear screams nearby.

“Sounds scary,” Yoosung commented, a smirk on his face.

“You’re so brave lately,” you giggled, grasping on to his arm.

“If you think about it... I was literally tortured. I think I can handle people jumping out yelling ‘boo!’ at me,” he joked, rolling his eyes.

You laughed at his joke. “I don’t think they’re going to yell ‘boo!’ Yoosung. That would not be very scary.”

“Well why don’t we go find out?” The two of you began walking to the first building. You had to wait in a bit of a line to enter, people all bloodied up walking back and forth past you, jumping at those in line. “You can hold my hand if you want.” Yoosung commented. You grabbed onto his hand.

The first room wasn’t that bad. There were lots of twists and turns, and it was kind of hard to see in the dark, but nobody jumped out at you. A table moved. Yoosung jumped, looking underneath the table to make sure nobody was there. You dragged him along, not wanting to find out.

The next room looked like a jail cell. A girl covered in blood was rocking on her heels, muttering the phrase ‘help me’ over and over again. Again, you did NOT want to face this girl. They usually weren’t too bad unless provoked. But Yoosung had never been and wanted the full experience.

“Stop! We’ve gotta help her,” Yoosung pouted, pulling you back into the room.

“I don’t wanna,” you complained, pulling in the opposite direction.

The girl pounced at Yoosung so quickly that you didn’t even see it happen. She was screaming. He was screaming. You were pulling him to the next room.

Here’s the problem with screaming in a haunted house. When the workers know you’re easily scared, they just keep it coming.

The next room was neon rainbow. The lights were so bright your eyes had trouble adjusting. Oh hell no. A guy was disguised with the wall, running at you. This time, Yoosung pulled you along.

You slowed down while heading to the next part of the building, pausing to catch your breath. “Having fun?” You teased.

“No!”

You stopped. You hadn’t expected him to admit it. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not brave. I wanted to be brave for you and I can’t do it I don’t like it,” he ranted, nervously fidgeting with your hands.

“That’s okay. You’ve been so brave. It’s okay to be scared,” you comforted. “Let’s take a break after we get outta here, okay? We’ve just gotta make it out first.”

His eyes were determined. It was like you were speedrunning the haunted house. Every time someone jumped out at you or something fell towards you, Yoosung kept moving, pulling on your hand. He wouldn’t even glance in the direction of the commotion. You were out probably in record time.

“Congrats!” The clown at the exit exclaimed. “You’ve made it through the first trial. If you’re ready for the next, it’s right down this path.”

“Hell no!” Yoosung exclaimed, running from him as well.

You were trying so hard not to laugh. You would agree, it was an overwhelming experience, but Yoosung was just so unbearably cute. He pulled you towards the center where the more frightened parties gathered.

“I don’t wanna do anymore,” he whined. You could see a tear in his eye. You felt kinda bad, even though it was his idea to do this.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. You cupped his face in your hands. “Are you okay?”

He pouted, puffing his cheeks out. It made you laugh again. “I’m scared.”

You stopped for a moment, weighing your options. “I can help you take your mind off it if you want,” you suggested innocently, a finger stroking lightly under his jaw.

He gulped and nodded quickly. You two had kissed before, obviously, but not too much. He was a little eager when you did, though. Maybe it was how attractive you both looked in your costumes, but you both just really wanted to make out.

You led him back toward the car, but he couldn’t seem to wait that long. His eyes glanced at the building next to you, the seventh trial, as it was marked. Once you got close enough, he pushed you to the wall of the building, pinning you against the stone exterior. Your head bumped against the wall and you let out a little noise of shock, but ignored it for the most part.

His lips were on you before you had time to think. He wasn’t as slow and as loving as he has been the past few times. His lips, and his tongue at that, were passionate, leaving you no opening to come out for air. His mouth dominated yours, and you let out a small sigh as he continued. He pulled back for a moment, biting your lip before giving you an opportunity to breathe properly

“Jesus Christ Yoosung,” you panted. He took a step back instinctively. Even under the moonlight you knew he was blushing bright red. You grabbed at his waist and pulled him back to you, almost flush against you. “I didn’t say to stop,” you grinned, capturing his lips in yours again.

Your leg hooked around his waist to pull him closer, his hand moving up to your chest. Your eyes were shut right, focused on how good his touch felt. You grabbed a lock of his hair to pull him closer; he let out a small whimper, swallowed by your lips, but you still heard it. You were so caught up in the taste of him, the feeling of his fingertips grazing your skin, that you hadn’t even noticed...

“Boo!” You heard. Your eyes opened quickly and you jumped, bonking your forehead against Yoosung’s, who had also jumped. It was the clown from earlier. “Might I suggest you two carry this on somewhere else? This is a family-friendly establishment,” he teased. His whole spooky persona was gone. He seemed more like a tired teenager at this point.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” Yoosung apologized profusely. He let go of you and distanced himself a little bit between the two of you. “Yes. Thank you. We’ll be going now.”

He started walking stiffly and you followed beside him, grabbing his hand again, swinging it along. “Don’t be embarrassed. We’ll never see that guy again,” you spoke aloud, noticing how sweaty Yoosung’s palms were.

“I... I... that’s not it.” He shook his head aggressively. “That... was really hot.”

You laughed, unlocking the door to your car. “Sure thing, especially the part where you actually got scared when the guy said ‘boo!’” He sighed, looking at you expectedly as he situated himself in his seat. You had to deliver. “I told ya so,” you grinned, winking at him.

“If I remember right, you jumped too.”

“Hey, watch it.” You put the car into drive. “Or we won’t continue what we’ve started once we get home.”

[1indienation]

1 Indie Nation Episode 125 Summer in the City

Greetings lover bunnies! How are you enjoying summer? I hope you are having the most fun you can! Stay hydrated and cool! Take a dip in the pool! I have a 90 min mix from DJ JS-1 // NYC // Rocksteady Crew. He plays dozens of tracks from different genres of music. You will enjoy this one. It has a little something for everyone. Follow DJ JS-1 on Instagram and Twitter @djjs1

Please wear a mask (in public) and wash your hands! Courtesy Reminder.

Tracklist:

01 - Imagine Dragons - Radioactive 02 - Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb (Moonrock Rmx) 03 - Cold Play - Paradise 04 - Elle King - Ex's and Oh's 05 - Vanessa Paradis - Paradis 06 - OutKast - Funk Ride 07 - Eagles - Hotel California (Left Coast Rmx) 08 - The Beatles - Dear Prudence 09 - Grace Jones - Nightclubbing 10 - The Dramatics - Whatcha See Is Whatcha Get vs Big Shot 11 - The Pharcyde - Otha Fish 12 - Bill Withers - Use Me Up 13 - BB King - Chains and Things 14 - Dido - Thank You 15 - Esthero - Superheroes 16 - Tony! Toni! Tone! - It Never Rains 17 - Maxi Priest and Shabba Ranks - House Calls 18 - Erykah Badu - Window Seat 19 - The Stylistics - People Make The World Go Round 20 - John Lennon - Watching the Wheels 21 - Beyonce - Me, Myself, and I 22 - The Isley Brothers - Between the Sheets 23 - Smokey Robinson and The Miracles - Cruisin' 24 - Billy Idol - Eyes Without A Face 25 - M.I.A. - Paper Planes 26 - Barrington Levy - Black Roses 27 - Counting Crows - Big Yellow Taxi 28 - Wings - Let 'Em In 29 - Funky Fresh Few - First Met You 30 - Amerie - Why Don't We Fall In Love 31 - Miguel - Adorn 32 - Wayne Smith - Under Me Sleng Teng (Spooky Remix) 33 - Candy Flip - Strawberry Fields 34 - The Cure - Close To Me 35 - Arrested Development - Everyday People 36 - Maceo - Better Half 37 - Lee Moses - Time and Place 38 - Faith Evans - Mesmermized vs Ready or Not 39 - Masters At Work - Blood Vibes 40 - Marvin Gaye - Inner City Blues 41 - Bernard Wright - Haboglabotribin 42 - Bee Gees - Love You Inside Out 43 - Malcolm Mclaren - Hey DJ 44 - Lupe Fiasco - Superstar 45 - Amerie - Why Are You 46 - Michael McDonald - I Keep Forgettin' 47 - Dennies Edwards - Don't Look Any Further 48 - Aloe Blac - I Need A Dollar 49 - Mtume - Juicy Fruit 50 - De La Soul feat Chaka Khan - It Ain't All Good 51 - Sybil - Don't Make Me Over 52 - Jamalski - Jump Spread Out 53 - ATCQ vs Al Green - Let's Stay Together 54 - Jaheim - Ain't Leavin' Without You 55 - Arrested Development - Tennesse 56 - The Spinners - It's A Shame 57 - Next vs Lucy Pearl - Dance Too Close Tonite 58 - Curtis Mayfield - Give Me Your Love ( Tangoterje edit) 59 - Tara Kemp - Hold You Tight 60 - Ben Harper feat Rahzel - Steal My Kisses 61 - Brand New Heavies - Never Stop 62 - Sade - Paradise (apiento edit) 63 - ATCQ vs Marvin Gaye - What's Goin On 64 - Toto - Waiting For Your Love 65 - PM Dawn vs Spandau Ballet - Set Adrift in Time 66 - Staples Sisters - I'll Take You There 67 - Amy Whinehouse feat Ghostface - I'm No Good 68 - Jade - Don't Walk Away 69 - Tony! Toni! Tone! feat Dj Quik - Let's Get Down 70 - Mary J Blige - Rock Steady 71 - Fatback Band - I Found Lovin' 72 - Meli'sa Morgan - Fool's Paradise 73 - KC and The Sunshine Band - I Get Lifted 74 - Kelis - Trick Me 75 - Stevie Wonder - That Girl 76 - The Rolling Stones - I Miss You 77 - The Roots feat Cody Chestnut - The Seed 78 - Kraak 'N Smaak - Squeeze Me 79 - Davie Bowie vs Lady Gaga - Just Fame Dance 80 - Bruno Mars - Treasure 81 - Billy Ocean - Nights (Feel Like Getting Down) 82 - Daft Punk vs Michael Jackson - Billie Jean Gets Lucky (DJ Keno edit) 83 - Boz Scaggs - Lowdown 84 - Rosco Gordon - Let's Get High

If you feel the kindness in your heart to donate to the 1 Indie Nation Podcast please do so in any amount! I accept cash app $rachaeldepp venmo and paypal! please email me or DM me for those accounts. Love my bunnies so much. You make me happy and bring me joy! Stay tuned for more mixes. I got some house mixes coming up by yours truly :)

Check out this episode!

[bards-witcher]

Perdita - Chapter 5

As always I hope you enjoy :D

Previous  lll  Next

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It’s just before sunrise when he left the roof, despite having slept for most of the night he was even more tired than he had been when he’d first gotten onto the roof, the events during the night enough to shake him to his core.

Besides the strange appearance of Luke, he hadn’t heard a single thing except for the birds in the trees and the occasional car, unsure whether to feel somewhat relieved or even tenser at the lack of activity.

Once on the ground he quickly began maneuvering his way through the streets, not even sparing a thought on where he was going, just eager to get away from the place he’d probably spent far too long at, trusting that his legs would take him wherever he needed to be.

After Luke had vanished last night and the cold stone of the roof had made his legs numb, he had returned to his bag, hugging it tight to try and derive any sort of comfort from it as he forced himself to relive the worst moment of his life, trusting what Luke had told him even if it meant watching his death over and over until he fell into a restless sleep, no further in his understanding than he had been the night before.

No matter how many times he played the scene through, how painful it was, he could only see one thing, and it involved blood-splattered glass and the man who was larger than life crumple to the floor, dead.

He’s not sure what ‘Luke’ had meant asking him to rethink what he saw, or why his mind was suddenly creating cryptic messages, but it was the sound of a car horn that brought him out of his musings.

He went to gesture a sorry to the driver, but he found himself freezing when he saw who it was, Marcel and Scotty.

As with Tyler, he found himself only able to stare at them, as if trying to feel the other out, when in a split-second he made a dash for it, darting across the road and hopping over a parked car as he began running down the pavement.

He could hear their car chasing after him, deciding in a split second to change direction causing his old friends to fly by him, sprinting back down the road he’d come as the car’s wheels squealed against the road as they made a sharp turn to try and pursue him again.

The sound of a gun startled him a little, causing his step to falter a little before he regained his composure so when another gun sounded he was quick to duck his head and weave a little as he ran in an attempt to shield himself a little, running even faster even as he felt his lungs begin to burn a little for air.

He soon found himself in front of the local park, the front gate still locked due to the early hour, but he wasted no time as he began to climb up and over it and it was only when he was on the other side did he spare a look behind him.

As he spent a moment to catch his breath he saw that a second car had joined the chase but given the way Marcel was hanging out of the passenger window with a gun aimed towards it, he guessed G’s men were also on his tail.

With the sound of gunfire once again breaking the otherwise quiet dawn he quickly scrambled away from the gate and ran deeper into the park towards the small amount of tree cover before he heard one of the cars crash through the gate.

He spared a quick glance behind him, watching as Scotty drove their car into the others rear and steer it away from him, ignoring the question as to why they were helping him burned  through his mind as he climbed over the shorter fence surrounding the park before breaking into a run again, the sound of gunfire fading behind him.

Even as he felt a sense of relief at seemingly escaping both gangs he still didn’t stop running, his breathing becoming erratic from exertion until he came across a subway station, causing him to slow down a little as he ran down the stairs and jumped the gate before he went down to the closest platform, where he finally came to a stop.

His breathing was heavy as he spent a moment taking in his surroundings, only noting a couple of people who were quick to avert their eyes when he caught them staring, before he slowly walked towards the nearest bench, quickly collapsing on top of it as he tried to calm his racing heart and bring his breathing back under control.

In this moment of calm his thoughts went back to the chase, if he didn’t know any better he’d say that Scotty and Marcel had saved him from whatever goons G had sent to kill him, but then again they had found him first, so it was far more likely that they were eager to get rid of the competition before taking him down.

He pushed that thought aside, already thinking of how he’d need to be so much more aware now given that both BBS and G had found him twice in less than a day, giving another scan of his surroundings just to be sure, and whilst it was eerily quiet in the station, he didn’t feel that twinge of dread he normally did when danger was around.

It wasn’t much longer before a train pulled up, he didn’t know where it went nor did he care, he just boarded it and collapsed into the nearest chair, thankful for the empty cart as he felt all the energy drain out of him.

He closed his eyes for a moment, just enjoying the peace that was offered to him, the gentle swaying of the carriage almost sent him to sleep before he heard a voice beside him that sent ice through his veins.

“So, figure it out yet?” He opened his eyes to see ‘Luke’ sitting casually beside him, a playful smile on his face and he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of him.

“I’m really not in the mood for this right now so can you just say what you’re gonna say and go, I’ve got enough shit to deal with” He turned to face the man beside him, noting how his face turned into a playful pout at his comment.

“I thought you liked talkin’ to me” He couldn’t help but scoff at the statement, yes he did like talking with Luke, more than anything, but this Luke was nothing more than a poor carbon copy compared to the real thing “How about I give you another hint then?”

He rolled his eyes as he turned his head to look at Luke, the both of them looking at each other for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders, accepting whatever strange reality he was in “Go on then”

“Mind over body”

He furrowed his brows in confusion, turning to look outside the window as if it could give him the answer to whatever the hell his mind was telling him, but when that didn’t work he went to ask ‘Luke’ what on Earth he was talking about, only he was gone.

For a moment he stared at the space ‘Luke’ had been sitting in not a few seconds ago, but just let out a sigh as he rubbed his eyes in an attempt to clear his mind.

He had no idea how long he’d been on the train or where he was, but he got off of it at the next stop and when he made it back up to the street he could see the sky starting to lighten up the city, a quick cursory glance around him showed that apart from the odd early morning commuter, passing him by on the street, he was alone.

With a deep breath, he carried on walking until he reached the edge of town, ducking under the nearby bridge to try and get what little sleep he could.

*********

He was currently standing on some rooftops, no idea where he actually was but he had derived some sort of comfort of being able to watch the world around him from such a vantage point, he supposes that’s why he favored being support on the sniper than on the ground.

As the sun was almost set and night began to settle, in the distance he could barely make out the small warehouse where he used to live, where he knew his friends were currently residing in, the thought taking a bitter edge when he knew that only death awaited him on their door.

He wanted nothing more in this moment than to go to them, yes they were a gang, but they were practically family to him, family who he missed a bit more each day and the only people who would know what Lukes’ death truly meant to him, but all they’d be able to see was his bullet in Lukes’ head.

Even as the sky got darker and the sun finally dipped below the horizon, still he kept his vigilance, a part of him wondering if he’d ever be able to return there, even if he did manage to kill G.

With a sigh he moved to sit on the edge of the roof, legs dangling over the side of the building as he thought back on Lukes’ words from earlier, still having no idea what was meant by mind over body.

It was with that thought that he felt a presence beside him, and sure enough he then felt a cool hand lay on top of his own, as if to give him comfort from the touch, but it only served to remind him that the person beside him wasn’t actually there, closing his eyes as he felt tears begin to sting at his eyes.

“It’s pretty up here, ain’t it?”

He simply hummed, not daring to open his eyes so that maybe if he kept ignoring the apparition beside him, that he’d go on his own and he’d finally be left to find some sort peace so that he could focus on his task of revenge.

“You’re so smart you know that?” He was somewhat stunned by the comment given that it had come from nowhere, opening his eyes so that he could turn to ‘Luke’ in confusion “When you were workin’ for G, I had some of the guys tailin’ you for weeks and you never even noticed. Now though, you always know when somethin’ ain’t quite right and it’s cause of that wonderful, beautiful mind you got”

He wasn’t too sure how to answer that, he could only keep staring at the other man whilst ‘Luke’ appeared to be waiting for him to say something, only he didn’t know what, and when nothing came out the older man simply sighed before he grabbed onto his leg and moved him so that they were now facing one another and straddling the edge of the building.

Cold hands clasped his face, and as much as he wanted to push the other man away and tell him to never come back, to finally leave him alone, even if he was a figment of his imagination, he simply couldn’t. Luke had always been his weakness and he knew he didn’t have the heart to send him away, even this poor copy of him, but decided that only this time he would indulge himself.

“When you were with G you had no control of your body right, only your mind,” He simply nodded, closing his eyes again as he let himself be comforted by the thumbs now rubbing his cheeks “Well your eyes are part of your body, aren’t they? Meanin’ maybe they were obscured an’ you didn’t always see what you thought you did”

His breathing stopped at the potential implications of the suggestion ‘Luke’ had proposed to him, opening his eyes to stare into the other man’s dark brown ones as his mind raced over those last few words.

“Your mind saw everythin’, Ryan, even if you don’t remember, you just need to think”

His heart was in his throat and beating a mile a minute, unable to focus on one thought before another took its place, but as before, no matter how many times he played that fateful scene over in his mind, all he ever saw was Lukes’ death.

“How ‘bout this then, you didn’t seem surprised when I said I had guys tailing you for weeks, cause deep down you knew,” It was then he noticed the intensity of ‘Luke’s’ gaze, as if he was pleading at him to at least try “Your mind will remember, you just need to think, Ryan”

He closed his eyes in an effort to focus, abandoning the scene with Luke to instead think through some of the last few other memories he had of when he was little more than a machine.

With a deep sigh, the scenes in his mind changed to a particularly sunny day that held no significance to him, simply at an old warehouse at the edge of town to pick up some weapons for a raid G had planned.

At first, he saw nothing, he simply replayed the same scene over and over again, however, despite seeing nothing new he couldn’t help but feel a small niggle in the back of his mind as if he was missing something.

It was the next time he played the scene that his eye caught sight of a figure across the street, only caught by the corner of his eye as he entered the warehouse and quickly recognized it to be Kryoz, hood up in the shadows as he watched him slip through the door and out of sight.

Then, the scenery changed, he was now with the two henchmen who he’d killed only a couple of days prior, they were supposed to collect some money from a guy who owed G, a man who one of the henchmen later killed because he couldn’t cough it up.

They’d found him at some run-down bar where without a word they had paid the manager to take the guy out back to deal with, no questions asked, and as before, the scene played over in his mind, he tried to see some of the patrons who were but blurred figures in his mind.

No matter how often he watched the scene he couldn’t pass through the barrier in his mind preventing him from seeing the full picture and he didn’t realize he’d begun to panic at the fact, his breath getting caught in his throat until he felt ‘Luke’s’ hands on his shoulders, giving them a squeeze and rubbing them slightly to try and comfort him, letting him know he had support there should he need it, even if this Luke wasn’t real.

With a shuddering breath the scene started again, he walked into the dimly lit bar, looking to the left where what had once been blurred figures now turned into both Brock and Brian, sitting at a booth with drinks in hand whilst their heads were low in deep discussion.

Even in his memories he wanted to call out to them but had no choice as instead his body turned towards the bar where he then saw Tyler, hunched over the bar as he nursed his own drink, noticing the odd glance aimed his way.

Finally, as they dragged the guy through the back door he looked back at the bar, now seeing that Brian was restraining Tyler in the corner of his eye until he passed through the door, not even able to come to terms with the memory before the scene changed again.

Next he was back on the rooftop, feeling the heat of the sun on the back of his neck, gun in hand as he waited for Lukes’ car to pull up, watching with bated breath as the scene played out in front of him, he remembered trying to fight tooth and nail to knock his aim, and he does so again now, feeling more confident in his capabilities, but still the bullet was shot, and he watched Luke collapse to the ground again.

He’s not sure how many times the scene played out, hell, he didn’t even know that he’d started crying until he felt ‘Lukes’ cold hand return to his face, thumbs brushing his cheeks and wiping his tears away.

At the touch he let out a shuddering sob, having watched Lukes’ death far too many times to pretend he was unaffected by the ordeal, not daring to open his eyes to see this version of Luke in front of him, sure that he’d lose whatever little control he had left over himself if he saw him.

In the next moment, he felt cold lips touch his forehead, reaching his hands forward to try and grab onto the man in front of him, but he was only met with empty air and he felt another sob wrack through him at the fact.

“You can do this, Ry, you’re so strong, baby, and you’re almost there” He then felt ‘Luke’ pull him close, hugging him almost, as if he was acting like his shield against the thoughts plaguing him before once again the scene started.

He was fighting just as aggressively as before, but he still felt his finger pull the trigger, forced to watch as the bullet chased towards its target, only this time there was startling clarity to it that all the other times had lacked.

As before he saw the bullet break through the car’s window, only there seemed to be a split second delay until he saw the blood spatter out of Luke before he fell to the floor and when he turned away, he swore he could see a flash of movement from Lukes’ hand, almost as if he had quickly grabbed something that was on the floor beside him.

He quickly opened his eyes then, taking in a deep breath as if it was his first one in weeks, his heart pumping a mile a minute in his chest as he realized what his mind had been telling him, that or it was playing some sort of cruel trick on him.

As he became more aware of his surroundings he noticed that ‘Luke’ was no longer in front of him, instead he was standing a bit further down the roof, looking at him as if he held the sun and stars, all while giving him a soft smile as his fingers twitched as if he was at war with himself on whether he should come closer or not.

Without a second thought, he hopped off of the roof’s edge and ran towards ‘Luke’, almost bouncing from excitement as he grabbed at the other man’s arms in an effort to ground himself, the realization that Luke could somehow be alive being all that he could comprehend.

“You’re alive, aren’t you? Well, the real Luke is, he faked his death didn’t he!” He couldn’t keep his eyes off of the other man, watching with glee as Luke just gave him a knowing smile and a small nod.

“You did good, Ry, also helped that you missed your shot” He was somewhat taken aback by the response as Luke simply chuckled at him.

“What?” It was the only response he could muster out, having expected some sage advice that his mind could conjure up, not some sort of insult to his abilities, something he’d once prided himself on.

Luke simply smiled at him, raising his hands to cup at his face and he couldn’t help but nuzzle a little into the hold, raising a hand to grab at one of his wrists in an attempt to keep the older man there, even if he knew he could disappear right now if he wanted “For the first time in your life, you missed, and I couldn’t be happier or more proud of you for it”

As before, he could only stare at the man with confusion about the entire situation, taking a moment to assess his currently racing thoughts, and it was only then that he truly felt the hands on his face and the racing pulse under his fingertips, felt their warmth seep into his skin and drive away the cold that had made its home there.

He kept staring into Lukes’ eyes as he adjusted his hand to properly grip at his wrist, feeling the other man’s pulse strong against his fingertips, leaving little doubt about the man in front of him.

“Luke?” He’s not surprised that his voice cracked, emotions thick in his throat as he felt tears threaten to fall again, feeling like nothing more than a lost child as the world he’d known changed around him again.

The older man gave him a soft smile, noting the tears he could already see begin to fall down his face as the grip on his face got tighter as if Luke couldn’t believe he was there either.

“Hey, Ryan”

He’d barely gotten the words out before they crashed into each other, arms curling tight around the other as if no force on earth could tear them apart, faces pressed into the other's neck as they let their tears flow freely.

All he could do was hold onto the other man, not daring to even loosen his exceedingly tight grip on him, too scared that he might suddenly disappear, the thought running through his mind that they were both safe and that he was finally home.

[nadziejastar]

Master Xehanort touched down in Radiant Garden and surveyed its surroundings. The ruler of this world was said to research the heart through different methods than the Keyblade Masters. Though the man's studies did interest him, it was not yet time.

Master Xehanort strolled around this world and found a lone man. He had a dangerous look in his eyes that concealed a darkness in his heart incomparably greater than that of anyone else in Radiant Garden. 

No matter the world, one didn't have look far to find hearts infested with darkness. After all, no heart was entirely free of it. It all boiled down to proportions; a little nudge to a heart with more darkness than light, and everything would begin falling into place.

"You there." Master Xehanort had seen several people dressed in the same uniform as this man.

"...What do you want, ya old coot?" The man with dark, slicked-back hair turned around with annoyance. Master Xehanort's golden eyes regarded him.

Exactly. It really doesn’t make any sense how easily those two became apprentices. Since when can any random person just knock on the front door and talk to Ansem, anyways? Dilan and Aeleus were the guards. They knew Lea and Isa were trespassers. Plus, they had secret evil experiments they didn't want Ansem to know about. Why on earth would they ever grant those two kids an audience with Ansem the Wise? If they knew that those two trespassers wanted to talk to Ansem, it's more likely that they would have just kidnapped them on the spot and locked them up, rather than letting them get access to Ansem the Wise. 

And so we stand before the castle gates today, not as trespassing children but in order to become Ansem the Wise's newest apprentices.

Ansem was apparently not someone who casually interacted with the general public. Leon, Yuffie, Cid, and Aerith had NO idea what the ruler of Radiant Garden looked like or how old he was. They all thought Ansem Seeker of Darkness was the real Ansem until Mickey told them otherwise. It didn't seem like many people knew much about him. In the novel, Axel saw Ansem the Wise on the Hollow Bastion computer screen and had no clue who he was. Mickey was able to see Ansem because he was a king from another world. Lea and Isa were just two school kids---nobodies.

Xehanort was never planning on losing his memory after gaining Terra as his new vessel. But he did plan on becoming an apprentice. And even then, he knew he couldn’t just knock on the front door and ask to become one. That’s weird and suspicious. It’s why Master Xehanort had to go through Braig. Without Braig, Xehanort would have never gotten anywhere near Ansem. And Xehanort was of particular interest to Ansem not just because he was a random unconscious person, but because he was discovered with Aqua's armor and Keyblade next to him. He was a very interesting subject to a scientist studying the secrets of the heart. What do Lea and Isa offer a KING other than an opportunity to babysit?

Subject was found in the central square shortly after dawn. Female, approximately fifteen years old. After seven days' observation, she spoke her first words, but could not provide a name. Subject exhibits signs of profound amnesia, and displays concern for which world this is. Her words suggest that she departed her home world with others, though she cannot recall the names of her erstwhile companions. All efforts to explore those memories have met with a rejection response.

After his initial experiments on me, Ansem the Wise ceased his research into the heart, his hand stayed by some fear I cannot fathom. Yet this new subject is like me: devoid of memories. She is the perfect sample upon which to continue my master's work. She, too, could benefit from it; by traversing the heart, we have a direct path into memory. I myself have begun to reclaim my lost past thanks to these very experiments.

Who is she? Whence has she come? These are questions no scientist could ignore. And the words she muttered, "May your heart be your guiding key"...

I still think the name "Subject X" was originally Isa, but now that I think about it, she kinda rips off of Terranort, too. An amnesiac from another world who was discovered in the central square? When Aqua was fighting Terranort, it was nighttime. So, when Ansem discovered Terranort, it probably would have been...shortly after dawn. Subject X departed from their home world with other friends, but can’t remember their names? Sounds like Terranort, too. He’d probably remember he had two important friends, but not their names. So Ansem wanted to help him remember his past. Man, nothing about Subject X is unique at all. She’s just a hodgepodge of different characters.

As noted in my earlier reports, I must solve the mystery of this "darkness of the heart." This paradise depends on it. I shall perform an experiment to probe the depths of a person's heart. One of my own apprentices, Xehanort, has volunteered to be a subject.

The young man has served me ever since I nursed him back from death's door some years ago. He had lost all his memories at the time, but later showed remarkable intellectual curiosity and readily absorbed my teachings, gaining deep wisdom. Any mental immaturity is surely due to his young age.

If I explore Xehanort's heart with psychological tests, I may be able to recall the past locked away within. My apprentice Even has also shown great interest in Xehanort's memories. But is he really the right subject? Xehanort does indeed exhibit extraordinary talents...Too extraordinary...Perhaps they are even superhuman.

Xehanort was a very unique person. He was an amnesiac that needed to be nursed back to health, but he also just happened to be mysterious and brilliant. Ienzo was an orphan whose parents were friends with Ansem or Even. They are exceptions. That doesn't mean anyone could just knock on the front door and become an apprentice. Why would Ansem just take on two random kids with no scientific background?

Not to mention that Lea and Isa apparently asked to become apprentices after Subject X was discovered by Ansem, since she was gone already. At that point, Ansem would have been aware that his apprentices were kidnapping people and that there were Heartless in his castle. He just experienced the worst betrayal of his life by the last apprentice he took in. Why on earth would he allow two suspicious kids in his castle at that point? I’m sure the other apprentices would have informed Ansem that they were trespassers.

“Most kids spend the time just messing around with their friends. They put off the homework until the end and then help one another finish it.”

He was apparently speaking from personal experience. Was Axel referring to his own memories of summer vacation as a human?

“It’s not a bad way to spend your time. I hadn’t really thought about it since I became a Nobody…,” he murmured, almost to himself, before turning the conversation back to Roxas.

Also these are two underage kids who are still in middle/high school. How are they just going to become apprentices when they are still in school? They don't have any credentials. Ansem would need their parents’ permission, right?

“Stop changing the subject!” Olette scolded them.

“All right already…” Hayner stood up with a sigh. “You win. We’ll do the homework. Today’s the day for a pain-in-the-butt independent study project.”

Roxas had completely forgotten that there were any vacation assignments until now. Only three more days, and then it was back to school.

Since Isa was in such a hurry, I almost wonder if he was thinking Lea wanted to sneak into the castle simply as a way to put off doing their homework.

“We’d like you to tell us if anything’s changed in this town. There are heaps of weird things here, right…? Like, the strange stone steps, for example…”

Roxas watched Axel and Pence’s exchange. For him to think of a question like that, when he’s only seen the map…

“Ohhh… So you guys are investigating the Seven Wonders of Twilight Town, too?” said Pence.

Roxas’s summer vacation was heavily based off of Axel’s memories. And the novel made it seem like Axel had experience with looking for the various wonders of the town. 

The castle was a wonderland to us children. Within its walls, Ansem the Wise conducted his research, and the fruits it bore allowed everyone outside to live in peace and happiness. That alone was enough to stoke our interest, though not all of the rumors that escaped its walls were so benevolent. By night, the muffled sounds of human wails emerged. There was talk of dangerous human experimentation. Lea and I couldn't help but hatch a plot to steal inside and sate our curiosity.

The point is, these are just innocent KIDS who like to play, eat ice cream, and explore the "wonders" of their town. They’re not secret agents. The castle was a wonderland to them. It's probably similar to how the haunted mansion and ghost train were for Roxas's group.

Lea---A likable, upbeat boy who tends to jump into things without consulting anybody else-sometimes with disastrous results. He seems to be hung up on other people remembering him, and taught Ventus the importance of making friends. He and his own best friend, Isa, have bigger plans.

Isa---A quiet and cool-headed youth. Though he does come out of his shell when talking to his best friend Lea, toward others he is distant and untalkative. He also often scolds Lea, who has an opposite (though complementary) personality.

I just don’t buy that Lea and Isa successfully convinced the KING to make them apprentices and infiltrated a group of criminals, all as part of some grand master plan. Two sheltered kids pulled off something like that and somehow didn’t get locked up and become test subjects themselves? Highly unlikely. BBS said that Lea always came up with plans that he’d jump into without thinking, with disastrous results. The journal seemed to be hinting that sneaking into the castle was something that...wasn’t a very bright idea and would lead to something very bad happening. Like getting kidnapped, locked up, then experimented on. And that’s a lot more believable of a scenario. Lea would do things without consulting anyone. Probably why Isa scolded him often.

“Don’t sit on that.”

“Then put another chair in here.” He let his legs swing, the way he would sit at the usual spot.

“Somehow, I doubt that would stop you,” said Saïx.

Judging by the way Saïx and Axel interact in the novel, Lea didn’t pay much attention to Isa’s scolding. I like the one little mini-comic where Axel was the accelerator and he called Roxas the brake. But he remembered that Roxas wasn’t actually the brake. It was “the other guy”. Isa was the brake. He’d try to reign in Lea’s hotheadedness. I definitely see it being Lea’s idea to sneak into the castle, not Isa’s. Lea probably didn't even consult Isa when coming up with the plan. They got caught trespassing multiple times, but Lea was always undeterred. Those aren't the actions of someone who knew that dangerous human experiments were going on.

Axel followed after him. “No, it’s just that there’s something about Riku I’m interested in. I want to check up on something, but I thought I’d just get your permission first.”

“Hmph… Even without my permission, you’ll go looking as you wish, won’t you?”

I'm sure Lea never imagined that anything bad could ever happen to them by sneaking into the castle. He seemed like he was very protective of Isa. If he knew there was loud wailing and rumors of dangerous human experiments going on in that castle, I HIGHLY doubt he would have brought Isa anywhere near it. Lea had a habit of jumping into things, but he was still a caring friend. I can't imagine that he would knowingly put Isa at risk like that. And I definitely don't think Isa would ever go along with that plan, either. He cared about Lea's safety and would have put the brakes on that plan REAL fast if he heard rumors of human experimentation.

“He worries too much. Thinks he has to help Sora do everything…” Axel grimaced in irritation.

“But, Axel, aren’t you the one worrying about Riku and Sora?” Naminé giggled softly.

“Me, worry? You think I need to be worried about those two?” He stretched backward and rocked the chair back and forth, like a restless child.

Axel probably blamed himself for what happened to them. He is obviously emotionally stunted in certain ways. He could be quite ruthless. But at the same time, he is hung up on things like having a best friend and eating ice cream. Bottom line is that these were just KIDS. They were naive. They didn’t know what they were getting themselves into. Didn’t sound like Lea was EVER prepared for the possibility that breaking into the castle was dangerous. 

[koderenn]

Summary: A severed Force bond cuts deep into their haunting past, as Ben and Rey struggle to redefine themselves and what they mean to each other. But with a schism running down the New Republic and the remnants of the First order in hiding, time is of the essence and broken hearts only get in the way.

Day 5

Ben stood rigidly outside a door his knuckles hovering indecisively over its metal surface. This was not a meeting he was looking forward to having. He pressed his lips together, stepping away and started pacing the corridor, his hand raking nervously through his clean and carefully combed hair. He was supposed to be meeting Rey an hour after dawn for their search in the jungle and he was already running late due to his immense procrastination. But he didn't know if he would have this chance again. This chance of catharsis and one more absolution from the man that had been almost a second father to him.

He clenched his fists.

 I have to do this.

His knuckles hesitated over the door once again, as he chewed the inside of his lip drawing blood. He inhaled deeply.

This was it.

A shrill and a series of alarmed beeps broke his determination and he swiveled his head to the side. And then down. Looking directly at a round droid painted in those irking Resistance colors of white and orange. It had its lens trained on him focusing and twirling, as it swiveled agitatedly on its round body.

Ben frowned.

The droid was releasing a series of very offending beeps in his direction and he found himself very tempted to just give it a good kick and send it rolling down the corridor when Rey's distinctive accent stopped him.

"There you are!" She called out and he could swear his heart missed a beat. She approached him with beaming eyes and a radiant smile, squatting down to give the droid's belly a good rub, before looking up at his looming form. Ben watched her, unsure of himself. Was she happy to see him or the droid?

"This is BB-8," she informed him with a wide grin. "The droid that carried Luke Skywalker's map."

 Figures.

Of course, he would cross paths with it, when he no longer had a use for it.

"The one I was in search of. For at least two years as I recall."

"The one and only." She rose and approached him close enough for him to smell the lingering scent of generic soap the Resistance was so fond of using. Her hair was wet, pulled back on a round bun on the top of her head, revealing that slender neck he yearned and dreamed and hungered to run his finger down its curve for days now. Droplets of water were still beaded on her skin and Force did he envy them. They were closer than he would ever get.

He licked his lips.

"Ben?" She asked, probably completely unaware of her effect on him.

His attention was snapped back to her bright eyes.

"The droid is outdated," he commented offhandedly because he had to say something. "I'm surprised you haven't broken it down for parts and purchased a new one in its place."

Rey arched an eyebrow, while the orange droid focused its lens on him. A heavy silence hung between them.

"Don't act so surprised," he shook his head condescendingly at the droid. "Your selenium drive is the only thing worth a decent amount of credits on you."

A metal arm was extended from some hidden small pocket in the droid's round body.

The zap on his knee came so fast it nearly buckled under him.

"What the fuck!" He yelled out. Clamping down the urge to send the droid flying against the wall. That had really stung.

"You weren't exactly polite. What did you expect?"

"It's a droid."

The lens twirled again and Ben narrowed his eyes at it.

"And very self-sufficient," Rey commented with a smirk.

"I noticed," he grumbled, rubbing at the numbing sensation on his knee. That droid was lucky Rey seemed to be so fond of it, otherwise, he would be in the process of dismantling it in the middle of the corridor. With his bare hands.

"This is Calrissian's room. Are you here to see him?" Rey pointed out, looking at him with what felt like hope. "He's leaving for Kuat today, you know."

"I know…" he mumbled back, sliding his eyes back to that cursed door.

"Just knock on the door and go talk to him. You don't know when you might see him again." She held his gaze steadily and expectantly and Ben found himself knocking on it as if compelled by her will alone.

Steps approached and the door was swung open revealing a very surprised Lando Calrissian.

"Well, look who decided to drop by," he said, a tinge of mockery in his brown eyes. "The little Starfighter finally worked up the courage to join the battle."

"Don't call me that."

"And what should I call you?"

A drop of water echoed off the dark stone walls.

"Ben," he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "May I come in?"

Lando, studied him an indecipherable look on his face, before moving aside and gesturing for him to enter. Ben glanced at Rey for a moment and she nodded for him to go inside. The door was shut behind him, but not before Lando sent a quick wink and a smirk in her direction.

 Figures.

Sometimes Ben wondered if the whole galaxy was conspiring against him.

*

It was hot and unbearably humid in the jungle. And Rey felt as if her legs would start to disassemble any moment now. She used the Force to flick away a swarm of insects to her left in frustration while dodging a branch to her right. Her boot got snagged for the millionth time on roots protruding from the muddy ground and she barely caught herself from falling flat on her face.

Ben must have heard her curse because he looked at her over his shoulder with a concerned "Are you ok? Do you need any help?" expression on his face. But Rey refused to seem weak in his eyes. He was supposed to be the spoiled prince and she the tough scavenger, after all.

But this jungle was not Jakku. And she would have taken the deadly scorching sun and lifeless dunes of sand any time in comparison to this.

"I'm fine," she bit out. "Go on."

She darted a glance at the glistening skin of his arms. His torso was covered only by a black tank top and his raven hair clung to the nape of his neck with sweat. He was moving steadily ahead, his broad body and powers opening a path for her to follow with an ease that made her wonder if he had been hiking through jungles all his life.

"The vegetation is thicker in this part of the jungle," he commented over his shoulder a little while later, darting an ascertaining glance in her direction. "I had taken the opposite direction yesterday and noticed halfway through the day that the plant life was getting scarcer. Perhaps because the water wasn't enough. I think we're on the right track today."

He lifted a fallen log with the Force, and tossed it inside the foliage, probably disturbing a nest of some sort because a number of avians flapped their colorful wings overhead croaking their annoyance into the jungle's thickness.

Rey closed her eyes, reaching for that clean cool sensation in the Force she was so familiar with, after countless years of searching for it in deserts.

"There is definitely fresh water in these lands, can you sense it?" She said, stopping in her tracks and inhaling deeply. It was soothing and refreshing, but she couldn't exactly feel where it was coming from. She sighed. The numerous lifeforms of this jungle were very distracting.

She opened her eyes to Ben's intense gaze studying her face less than a foot away.

His proximity made her flinch.

How had he walked up to her without her hearing him? He was usually very loud. This man was full of contradictions.

"I only sense mud and the decaying waters of the swamps," he deadpanned. "Can you sense a river or spring?"

"Yes, it's very refreshing. Can't you?"

"No," he answered gloomily. He tilted his head towards the direction he had been moving, snapping his command. "You lead the way."

"Ben, I have no idea where it's coming from. I only know it's somewhere in the vicinity."

"That's good enough."

He was annoyed with himself. Rey could feel the prickling of his self-disdain. She huffed, her shoulder brushing lightly against his solid chest as she moved in front of him, in what little space he had allowed.

"I really don't understand why you're making me do this," she grumbled. "You only have to reach out and feel the balance of the Force, and then just choose to follow its Light expression or its Dark. It's really very simple. The first lesson Luke Skywalker gave me. And there weren't many. Barely three. I had become something akin to a pest in order for him to finally relent and show me…"

She halted and glanced back. Ben was standing rigidly in the same spot she had left him, a darkness in his eyes.

"Luke Skywalker taught you about the Dark Side?" He asked.

"Well, if you can call a few minutes of talking and a slap on my hand a lesson? Yeah, I guess he did."

"My uncle taught you about the Dark Side." He repeated flatly.

"He wasn't exactly fond of it, but he did in all his lessons. In a sense. Especially when he spoke about the Jedi Order and their mistakes."

Ben chuckled darkly with a shake of his head and looked to the side with a scowl. And suddenly Rey understood.

"He never spoke to you about it," she said. "Never mentioned the balance needed in the Force…"

"No. He was afraid of the Darkness."

Was afraid of you. Or for you.

Rey realized as she took in the powerful man with the hot, easy to evoke temper and consuming personality. With eyes smoldering from pent up emotions and nowhere to release them. The exact opposite of what a Jedi was supposed to be. No wonder Luke had failed him.

"The Luke Skywalker you knew and the one I met were two completely different men," she said. "I think you would have gotten along with the one I knew better now."

Ben eyed her steadily, a need hidden in his dark eyes that he didn't know how to put into words.

"Let me show you how to look for the water," she said softly stepping closer to him and reaching for his temples. His eyes widened, unsure and almost frightened.

But Rey was not afraid, as she touched the sides of his head, threading light fingertips through his sweaty strands. Was she allowed to do this? She didn't even know. A part of her felt guilty for reveling in the thrill of touching him. But he didn't move away. Rey rested her gaze on his dark eyes, marveling in the shades of warm brown and molten amber that flickered in their depths. Letting their raw power and heat draw her in. And as his warm breath fanned her lips, she parted them and said.

"Let me in."

*

A slice of heaven.

That's the only image Ben could conjure to compare to the sensation of Rey taking over his mind. He had forgotten what it felt like having her breeze through him, bright crisp morning air disturbing the dark stuffiness of his thoughts. Her Light had stung and prickled and had felt absolutely euphoric.

And was over before he could react…

Her slim fingers had fallen from his temples, she had stepped back and he had been left with only the memory of her sweet taste in his soul and no idea how to reach for it again.

Ben jumped over a fallen log, his hand set on its rough disintegrating surface, as he followed Rey treading through the uneven terrain.

Her walls were up, smooth and sturdy as always. She was the punishment the universe had inflicted on him. There was no other explanation.

"I think we should stop for a bite," Rey said, as she pushed her way through the last foliage and into a small clearing amidst the jungle. Her hair had slipped from her bun some time ago, and leaves and tiny twigs were perched on her wild strands. Her arms were full of infinite small scratches and her clothes were ripped and torn beyond repair. She looked like a savage and he couldn't help the smirk that broke on his face.

The sweetest, most torturous punishment, indeed.

"What's so funny?" She asked narrowing her eyes at him while trying to untangle a branch from the piece of grey cloth she always seemed to be wrapped in.

"Nothing in particular," he answered dismissively, refraining the mirth that swelled in his chest. "Let me help you with that."

He kneeled next to her taking hold of the branch and slowly detaching in from the fabric. And that's when he noticed the cut.

"Rey, how did you get that?" He moved aside the piece of torn cloth on her thigh revealing an ugly gash and the ruby blood trickling from it. He looked up at her in alarm. "Was it some plant that did it or animal?"

"What? I didn't know I had a cut and…" She glanced at it, raising her eyebrows. "Won't you look at that… It's really bleeding! I didn't even feel how it happened…"

Ben pursed his lips. If Rey couldn't feel it that meant the wound was probably poisoned. And from what he'd heard about this planet's plant life and lifeforms…

 Fuck!

Ben tore the cloth surrounding the gash and fumbled through his backpack for fresh water.

"Sit down," he ordered as Rey leaned over to check the cut, her wild mane of hair cascading over his head, shadowing the jungle from their eyes. "Rey," he looked at her beseechingly with a tilt of his head. "Sweetheart…Please sit down so I can clean it for you and check it out."

She smiled at him softly which under different circumstances would have his heart stuttering for completely different reasons, but this was not the time.

"I mean it," he nearly snarled at her, because this girl didn't have a single bone of self-conservation in her, as her smile widened and her cheeks flushed. And was this some kind of effect the poison had? Because he had to get it out of her system.

  Immediately!

"I don't think it's that bad," she commented, and he could feel that bubble of frustration rising in his chest at her nonchalance. Sometimes he wondered how she had even survived this long on Jakku.

"Rey… please…" he begged, because Force this woman would be the death of him.

She relented, at last, sitting down on the plush grass with a cryptic smile, studying him carefully behind her long lashes.

Ben washed off the blood in quick precise movements, appraising the rims of the gash.

Definitely a plant. He concluded.

 But still…

Without a second thought, he leaned over her thigh and set his lips softly on the deep gash, carefully sucking a taste of blood and spitting it to the side.

He repeated the motion two more times before raising his eyes to check on Rey.

Her eyes were wide and her hand was set on her neck, her face a deep shade of crimson.

"Are you all right? Because there's no taste of poison in the blood and … Rey?"

"I'm feeling a little dizzy," she said in a small voice, laying down on the grass with a heaving chest. "I think I just need to lie down a bit…"

Ben could swear his heart stopped. He crawled up to her and grasped her face in his hands trying to figure out if she was about to pass out on him, or if…

Her eyes were shut.

No.

 No, no, no…

"Rey, please say something…" He brushed away her tangled hair from her face, caressing it desperately and yet gently with his rough hands. Any word would be fine, really. Just as long as he could hear that little accent of hers and …

Rey cracked open an eye, and the most beautiful sound rang in the clearing. It took him a couple of moments to register what it actually was. He scrunched his brows.

"You're laughing," he said accusingly. "I thought you were dying on me and here you are laughing."

He watched her extremely annoyed as she struggled to gain a breath between her merciless giggles.

"I'm sorry," she gasped with a wave of her hand and a huge grin plastered on her face. "I didn't mean to worry you it's just that I felt the world spin for a second when you…"

"Save it," he snapped, causing her mouth to clamp shut and the laughter to die out. He felt absolutely ridiculous.

She looked at him, this strange light in her eyes as he pulled back, reaching for his backpack again. He brought forth a bacta patch, utterly agitated at her and the prankster that seemed to lurk underneath all that innocent looking exterior. He secured it on her thigh with a torn cloth, all the while being extremely careful not to touch any part of her skin, because he had to salvage some part of his dignity. However small and insignificant it may be.

He got off the ground, all bothered, avoiding those bright, pretty eyes that he could just feel were trained on him, and dusted the dirt from his slacks.

"Where are you going?" He heard her sweet voice ask in adorable curiosity as he stomped his way back towards the thick jungle with a deep frown.

The woman is ruthless.

"To bring back actual food, because no way in hell am I eating those damn Resistance portions. I need something fresh and bloody nutritious for once," he groused, sliding an irritated glance in her direction before disappearing into the thick foliage.

He'd seen some avians flapping around earlier that from what Chewbacca had mentioned were edible. And after that stunt she'd pulled on him, he was seriously considering not sharing them with her.

Oh, and wild berries.

He remembered suddenly, as he flicked away a four-legged mammal from his path.

Ben was definitely not sharing those with her.

*

"Ben?" Rey said softly, popping one of those delicious berries in her mouth that Ben had brought back from his remarkably quick hunt.

"I was hungry," he had said, before plopping a half dozen plump small avians on the ground before her feet and a sack full of wild purple berries, "so I cheated by using the Force instead of conventional methods of hunting."

Rey wasn't one to argue with that.

He was sprawled on the thick grass, one arm behind his head and one on top of his sated belly with his eyes shut in light slumber, while Rey sat next to him polishing off the last of the berries he had brought for her, feeling utterly fed and satisfied.

She gazed at his calm features and relaxed body. Small splatters of light permeated the shadow of the tree they were laying under and formed random patterns on his face and dark tunic. She studied them as they drifted to and forth. Dancing in accordance to the leaves overhead. There was a serenity to this moment that she never thought she'd witness with him. He carried so much of his past on his shoulders that he never stopped to set the burden down and enjoy the present.

But seeing him like this. Now. At ease next to her. Surrendered.

It made something twist and ache deep inside her.

Ben had called her sweetheart like that one time in the lake. There was no mistaking it. He'd cradled her head softly in his hands and had seemed so afraid of losing her.

It has to be.

Her mind shouted at her, what her heart had been whispering all along.

He cared for her. And the bond had nothing to do with it.

"Ben?"

She didn't want to wake him. She wanted to stay there, under the canopy, forgotten and lost from the world. With him, forever.

"Ben?"

She reached out, touching his shoulder gently.

"Hmmm…?" He stirred. Brown, bottomless eyes still closed.

"It's time to go."

He brought his hand forth to rub at his eyes and face with a light moan.

"Just a few more moments," he said in a hoarse voice.

 Stars, he must have been in deep sleep.

She crawled up to him, stretching her body by his side and perching herself on her elbows, with a wide smile.

"Get up sleepy head. Everyone back at the base is probably dying of thirst."

His lips tugged in a small smile, but kept his eyes shut. A light breeze ruffled his hair again, blowing withered leaves and anemone blooms their way, and she watched them settle on his dark tresses. She inched forward, and plucked the closest one out. Then the one next to it and the one after that, clearing whatever she could from his tangled strands.

It would take all day to get them all out, she thought engrossed in her task.

His eyes opened lazily and he turned his head to watch her carefully as she performed her task almost a breath away. A simmering need laying just beneath their surface, growing.

He untangled his arm from behind his head bringing it to rest on her back. Rey paused darting a hesitant glance his way, before continuing on.

She could feel his fingertips trail a path down her spine coming to a stop at the exposed skin on the curve of her waist. They stayed there, light as a feather warming the bumps that had flared under his touch.

She brushed away a bloom settled on his cheekbone, feeling the taught skin underneath.

Her fingers lingered.

Slipped slowly down the angle of his jaw. Coming to rest on his full lips.

Time trailed painful and slow as his eyes remained transfixed on hers and his body completely still. Breath bated and eyes unblinking. Waiting.

Wanting.

What Rey was too scared to give.

His fingers curled and dug lightly on her skin.

"Don't tease me, Rey," he warned her, his voiced low and coarse. "Be careful…"

Rey exhaled a quivering breath. Sensing that she was indeed treading on dangerous grounds.

It would be so simple. To lean over and set a kiss on those lips. To run her tongue on their seams and taste him. But there was more to this man than a kiss or a random night in his bed.

This wasn't a friend.

This wasn't a relationship.

 This is something else entirely.

If she did this. If she started down this path with him, would she ever be able to return if things turned out bad? Would she be able to find herself again?

 Would I want to?

His lips parted and two of her fingers slipped inside, grazing against his teeth. Feeling the heat and wetness that lay beneath them. The sensation ran like a livewire down her body. Sparking a need deep inside her that she always tried to ignore around this man.

She jolted away, as if electrified. Coiling instinctively at a safe distance from him. Heart pounding relentlessly in her ears.

He lifted himself to a sitting position and watched her from the shadows of the tree, eyes sharp. Knowing.

"I will never be the same," she whispered to him. "I am afraid I will never be the same if I let you in."

"You won't," he answered softly. He lifted his hand to caress wisps of hair from her face. His gaze heavy with a promise that she was too scared to believe. "But then again, neither will I."

Rey resisted the urge to lean in to the touch.

"What if one of us grows tired of the other?" She asked her voice quivering at the edges. "I've seen it happen more times than I can count within the Resistance. Or we end up fighting like your parents did?" Rey nearly shivered with Ben's memories. "What then?"

"I'm not repeating my parents' mistakes," he stated firmly, his gaze losing part of its warmth. His hand fell from her face and he clenched his jaw.

"But you don't know that! We might end up making the exact same ones," Rey insisted, because she'd seen it. Couples never made it in the long run. Happy endings didn't exist. Her parents deserted her. His parents broke him.

"No, we don't know!" Ben shifted, closing the distance between them. His stunning face mere fingers away from her. "For all we know this planet might implode tomorrow, or one of us might end up getting bitten by some venomous insect and dying on the spot. You scared the living Force out of me earlier! But that's just it, Rey... We can never know. It might turn out to be the worst decision of our lives or it might end up being the best. There is only one way to find out!"

He was breathtaking in his thunderous intensity. Away from the tree's shadow and in the brightness of day. And with a steadfast expression written all over his features that could shatter a Death Star.

She was unable to look away from him.

"Stop running away from what you want…" He finally said almost in a whisper, an understanding in his eyes that she had seen before. More than once.

She nodded, heart swelling and eyes blurring, and she rose to her feet in a desperate attempt to pull herself together.

"We should be heading back," she said in a thick voice. "I'm just going to go and pick a few more berries to have on our way."

There was a long, dreadful pause. An insect buzzed between them, going its merry way.

"Berries." He repeated gruffly. "You want berries."

Rey stole a glance his way.

She needed space. She needed to think. And she couldn't think when she was around him. He was just too…

Derailing.

"Yes, berries. They were delicious," she stated, crossing her arms around herself.

Ben breathed out a chuckle to himself, raking his hand through his hair before gesturing in the air.

"Be my guest. I'll be right here. Waiting."

*

"Run!"

Ben looked up just in time to see Rey sprinting towards him full speed from across the clearing.

He shut off the datapad resting on his lap with a small raise of his eyebrows at the panicked expression on her face. She was at his side in the blink of an eye, picking up their few scattered possessions and stuffing them in their backpacks.

She was supposed to be picking those damn berries. What in the galaxy could have her running like that?

"We need to go! Now!" She screeched, tugging at the blanket underneath him.

He nearly chuckled at her exasperated face, flushed pink from her sprinting.

"Calm down, whatever it is can't be all that…"

A roar breeched the jungle air, ruffling trees and causing avians to fly off and small creatures of the woods to hide in the trees. His attention was dragged to a reptilian creature emerging from the spot where Rey had just appeared, massive as a shuttle and with a mouth full of razor sharp teeth that could probably fit both him and Rey in one bite.

"…bad. Shit!"

"I told you."

The creature focused its eyes on them, releasing a violent huff, the stench of which stretched across the meadow, all the way to their make-shift nest.

"Forget the blanket!" He clipped.

He grabbed her hand, squeezing it firmly in his, as she helped him up. They both stumbled through the forest line right as they felt the ground shake from the creature's pounding gallop.

"That thing is massive!" He yelled, his grip still tightly holding on to hers.

"I know!" She chuckled back, easily catching up to his long strides.

Twigs broke under their running feet and the leafage blurred as they rushed through the jungle.

"I believe it might be a Night Beast," he panted out as they barely dodged a falling tree. The curious academic in him trying to categorize it into to some familiar species. "It's an alleged creature left behind by the Massassi, to guard and protect their homeworld against any invaders until their return."

Rey looked at him out of the corner of her eye, teeth gritted from the strain of their sprint.

"I really don't care! I just don't want to become its next meal!"

He grinned at the ridiculousness of their situation.

Cracking of trees and rustling of foliage followed their trail, along with the beast's roar breathing down their neck.

"Can you freeze it with the Force?" She cried out, after a particularly sharp claw whisked over their heads, and wedged itself on a nearby tree.

"Are you insane?" He barked at her. "I don't have time to conjure the Force and run like hell! Who do you think I am?"

Rey threw a hand out in irritation. "Kylo Ren. That's who!"

Ben tried to sputter some kind of smart retort because…

 What?

Where had that come from?

"You do it!" He suggested, the crack of a tree letting them know that the beast had probably freed its claw from the bark.

Rey let out a string of swears that Ben surprisingly did not recognize at least half of them. And that was pretty impressive, since he had been raised by Han Solo and Chewbacca after all, and was familiar with at least seven different languages of…

"Watch out!" She said, tugging his hand towards her, as he barely evaded the edges of muddy waters, resembling very much those of quicksand.

Damn that was close.

His girl had good instincts.

Another roar filled the jungle, shaking the ground under their feet and Ben clutched her arm tightly just as she stumbled over a protruding root.

"Ben, we have to do something," she heaved after a few more paces, "we won't last much longer…"

Ben clenched his teeth, because fuck he was aware of that too.

We need cover.

He allowed his senses to spread out, searching, looking, feeling for anything that could possibly provide any kind of protection.

"Do you feel that?" She panted out, right when he came across the unmistakable sensation of clean, cool, refreshing…

 Water…

His eyes went wide.

He had felt water.

"Yes…" he stammered. Yes!

"This way!" She pulled on their tightly clasped hands again, dragging them off the path and into the thick vegetation to their left. It was a lot more difficult to move through it, as branches and leaves created a near impenetrable green barrier.

"What is that sound?" Rey called out as they struggled through a series of bushes.

"You mean besides that beast's deafening roar?"

Rey looked at him rather miffed, because he knew exactly the sound she was referring to. It only grew louder and more distinct as they cut their path through what seemed like the jungle's receding tree line.

Moving a branch out of the way, he helped Rey through the last of the foliage and they both stepped foot on the unmistakable edge of a cliff. Cascading waters misted their faces and their rushing sound enveloped their hearing. Beneath them jungle trees stretched all the way to the mountainous horizon in the far distance. The sun burned bright and radiant above them and sparkled on the waters of the river falls next to them. Multiple colors formed in the mist, turning the wilderness into an image taken from fairytales.

Rey stared at the falls with wide eyes, clutching his arm.

And Ben stared at Rey.

"We can't jump into that!" she said.

Another roar tore into the air closer than anticipated and a pack of creatures screeched into the trees behind them.

"There's no other way to go!" He implored. "If we're lucky that thing won't know how to swim."

"Are you serious? I don't know how to swim either! Remember?"

"I won't let you drown."

"Well, that's good to know," she huffed.

Rey dug her nails in the muscle of his arm in determination. She lifted her hazel eyes at him, their depths catching the sun's rays and turning nearly into gold. He remained transfixed for a moment, treasuring the faith and trust buried in those clear eyes. It made his chest expand with this feeling of nobility and protectiveness, so similar to the ones he used to feel when hearing his mother read stories of knights and dragons and princesses in distress as a child.

 Where is Kylo Ren and what have I done to him?

"Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we taking that jump or what?"

"Absolutely."

*

"I think we found the water supply we were looking for," Rey spat climbing out of the riverbank, with shaky legs. Ben's firm grip never having let go of her hand for a single moment.

He pulled her forth with a lot more ease than Rey felt comfortable with, because her boot slipped in the mud and she slammed into him with enough force to send them both sliding down the murky earth with a great oof!

She found herself splayed on top of him in a tangle of limbs, mud dripping down her hair and clinging disgustedly on both their clothes. His face was scrunched in a wince of pain, even though not a single sound had escaped his lips, and Rey found her elbow digging into his lower abdomen. Any lower and it would have…

"Sorry," she mumbled feeling her face heat as she scrambled to get off him.

"Not your fault," he coughed back.

This mud was ridiculously thick. It would turn out to be a complete nightmare to wash off them. Not to mention the sewing needed to patch together the rips and tears already running down the fabrics.

"I don't think I'll be visiting the jungle for any more errands any time soon," Ben commented rather lightly about the horrid state they were in. He turned his head to look at her, clearly amused.

"Yeah, well…" Rey grumbled. "That makes two of us."

Rey set a hand on Ben's side trying to lift herself off him, only to have it slip once more and have her nearly smacking foreheads with him.

 Damn it.

This mud was absurd. She was surprised Ben hadn't started fuming by now.

Until she felt it.

It started as a snort, really. Spreading silently on his chest in tiny small shakes and then breaking out of his throat in a burst of ridiculously loud, unashamed and contagious laughter. She snapped startled eyes in his direction, catching a wide toothy smile, with dimples running down the sides and sparkling crinkled eyes. A torrent of laughter shook his body beneath her, the likes of it she had never seen before.

"Ben?' She asked, trying to contain a tug of her lips, because she was most certainly not joining him in laughing to tears. This was an awful situation. "I hope those berries weren't hallucinogenic or something. Because there is nothing funny about the situation we're in," she pointed out, trying especially hard to sound stern. She made an attempt to get off him again.

But he grabbed her, rolling her over before she could do a thing to stop him and she suddenly found herself with her back against the icky mud and his broad body pressed on top of her, caging her between his arms.

"It's not the berries," he said, the laughter ebbing away, leaving a soft smile behind and a pair of gleaming, burning, beautiful brown eyes. "It's you. It's always been you."

Rey felt the air leave her lungs, in tiny tingling particles churning in the space between them.

She swallowed thickly, her heart fluttering its way out of her chest. And she knew she was in this too deep. Way deeper than the muck she was currently buried in. And if he were to make a single move, anything resembling what he had done in the clearing, she would melt right then and there and become one with the goo.

 Where is Kylo Ren and what have you done to him?

She wanted to cry out. Because the man settled on top of her had nothing to do with the Dark Lord of storms and burning fires. This man before her was immersed in a soft glow. Beaming into the Force the most bizarre and radical of emotions.

 Happiness.

Rey couldn't believe her eyes.

"Now come on," he said tweaking her nose with his muddy thick fingers. "Let's get going before night falls and we end up getting chased by Howlers."

"By what?"

"You don't want to know."

*

"What the fuck happened to you?" Was Nyxx's natural reaction when Rey and Ben entered the mess hall of the pyramid sometime late in the evening.

A few pairs of eyes turned to look at them as well, their shabby appearance earning them a couple of chuckles.

Ben, or at least he believed that was Ben under the mud and leaves clinging on his clothes and hair, slid an irritated glance in his direction.

"It's been a long day," Rey answered, her presence just as pitiful as her man's.

Huh.

Nyxx arched an eyebrow, bringing the rim of a bottle to his lips and taking a long sip. They looked as if a galoomp had vomited all over them.

"You guys didn't try killing each other, did you?" Finn commented over a board of Sabacc, the game he had been engrossed in with Jessica.

Brows all around immediately scrunched in worry.

Rey and Ben both shook their heads in unison, dragging their feet towards the staircase.

"We forgot our lightsabers," Rey drawled.

"Not making that mistake again..." Ben mumbled next to her as he started following her up the stairs.

*

They reached her floor first and Ben walked her to her door, setting down her bag full of berries.

They stood in awkward silence for a few long moments. Rey fiddling with the hem of her tethered shirt, feeling his intense gaze on her.

Time ticked by without a word.

Ben suddenly leaned in. His nose brushed her cheek and his lips left a light kiss there, making her skin tingle with the softness of his breath. He pulled away almost immediately, his expression shadowed in the darkness of the stone corridor.

"Goodnight, Rey..."He said.

The deep groveled timbre of his voice, tugging on her heart once again. Her fingers rose to touch the spot he had just set his kiss on.

"Ben?"

 Don't go.

Her hand flew to grasp his, and he turned his head to look at her.

"I had a good time today," she said.

 I don't want it to end.

He chuckled low, rubbing his face with a light groan. "Go to bed Rey. I'll see you tomorrow."

She swallowed. Because no… She wasn't done. She wanted more. So much more.

Rey didn't know if it could all fit in the span of a lifetime.

She held on to his hand as he was about to turn around and leave, causing him to glance at her again. In the darkness of the corridor it was hard to decipher his expression.

"Don't go yet," she said.

She felt his gaze on her heavy and concrete when she tugged on his hand. His grasp tightened around hers and he responded silently by inching closer to her.

A step.

A breath.

Rey didn't know what it was that had taken over her senses. Perhaps it was the lightness that lingered between them. Maybe the darkness of the corridor and the secrets it could keep.

Or maybe it was just him.

But Rey set her fingers on the sides of his neck. And felt his hot pulse accelerate under the coolness of her touch. She rose up on her toes, her chest brushing against his tall body. She slid her fingers in his messy hair, pulling his broad frame down to her.

Rey didn't look in his startled eyes. Didn't let her gaze linger on his black strands falling in his face. She didn't hear the light moan that escaped his throat. Neither did she smell the wet earth and musk of his skin.

She noticed none of those.

All she felt was the warmth of his breath as she closed the space between them, and his full lips as she set a tender kiss on the softness of them.

It must have lasted a heartbeat. Or perhaps an eternity.

Rey wasn't sure. But it didn't matter.

Because perhaps tomorrow she could have a little more.

She released her hold on him and stepped back. The fever in his eyes the only thing she allowed herself to see.

"Goodnight, Ben," she said, turning on legs that shook and knees too weak to carry her. She scooped up her berries and went into her room.

And allowed herself to breathe when she heard the hiss of the door behind her.

[padfootagain]

No Place Like Home (II)

Part 2

I've received two requests to write a second part to 'No Place Like Home', where Poe Dameron was discovering that the reader was pregnant. So... here is a part 2. But as I got a bit carried away... (this piece was supposed to be 2 or 3 pages long, not 9...) I'll be writing a part 3 to get through pregnancy.

Hope you all like it.

Lots of fluff and... not fluff as well...

@that-bwitch made the wonderful piece of art I’m using for this series, thank you!!!!

Gif not mine.

Word Count : 4898

"Y/N! I said no!"

"And since when do you think that you can give me orders exactly?"

"Since I happen to be Commander, and you're a Lieutenant!"

"Oh... so you're using this against me now? Really?!"

"Y/N, you're not leaving this base!"

"I won't be in an X-Wing, I'll be in the cruiser..."

"You're not going on a mission!"

"Oh, but you are allowed to jump in your X-Wing and take crazy risks while I have to stay here and wait for his stupid and reckless majesty to come back, right?!"

"I'm not the one who's pregnant!"

"No, you're just the father!"

You heaved a frustrated sigh, staring back at Poe's dark eyes.

"We're at war. I'm not safe here either."

"You're still safer here than on a mission," Poe replied.

"I'm not going to remain idle for eight months!"

"And what if you were hurt? What if you..."

Poe didn't finish his sentence, but he didn't need to. You knew what he meant, and for a moment a heavy silence settled in your private quarters. Outside, the sun was barely rising, dawn only shy for now.

The ships were set to leave at dawn, you had so little time left...

"I could say the same about you," you replied.

Poe took a step towards you, and held your hands in his.

"I can't lose the two of you," he said more softly.

"I can't raise this child alone."

"You won't be alone. I'll come back."

But you shook your head, freeing your hands from his tender hold.

"It's always the same with you! I know how reckless you are, Poe! I know you always take crazy risks! And one day it will be too much risks even for you to handle and you'll die out there! Anyway... Anyway, it doesn't matter, it's too late now," you said, your voice colder again. "And the order came from Leia herself."

"You're not setting a foot on this cruiser," he ordered, using this commanding voice of his that he usually only used with the pilots of his squadron. "You're not going out there."

He narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Does Leia know that you're pregnant yet?"

You merely clenched your jaw, but didn't speak a word.

"Does she know? Have you told her ?" he asked again.

He nodded slowly.

"Alright then. You answer only to Leia, right?"

He strode out of the room, and you followed him outside, calling for him.

"Poe! Where are you going?!"

"I'm going to see Leia."

"Why?"

He froze, turning towards you.

"To make sure that she's aware that she's sending a pregnant woman on a mission that, considering the odds, seem to be suicide."

You frowned.

"What?"

"You don't have the full orders, but I do," he replied. "And the odds are playing against us. You're not going on this mission, Y/N."

He didn't give you a chance to reply, as he strode away again, almost running down the long corridor, heading towards the command center where he was certain to find Leia preparing the mission.

And indeed as he walked into the room, the general was there.

"General," Poe called, storming inside the room.

"I'm a little busy, right now. Aren't you supposed to be with your squadron getting ready, Commander?" Leia replied, not turning towards him.

"I need to talk with you," he said. "It's about Lieutenant Y/L/N."

"What about her?" Leia asked, finally looking up at Poe.

"I need you to keep her on the ground."

Leia frowned.

"Tell her she has to stay here, that she can't leave the base," Poe went on.

"And why would I do such thing?" she asked back, crossing her arms before her chest. "The nature of your relation with Y/N is news to no one, but it doesn't mean that you can try to use your influence for her to be treated differently than..."

"She's pregnant."

Leia fell silent. And for the first time, she saw fear in the eyes of the best of her pilots. Genuine, pure fear.

"General... Leia, please," he asked softly, his voice urging and shaking slightly.

She turned towards the computer and looked for something for a moment. But when she looked at Poe, she had a saddened expression on her face.

"She's already in the ship. It's too late now," she said.

Poe clenched his jaw, and didn't say a word, his glance hardening all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry," Leia said, resting a hand on his shoulder. "But she's already on board. And you should be there as well."

Poe strode out of the room again, climbing up the staircase made of stones, and he ran down several corridors until he was short of breath. He slowed down then, before coming to a stop, and pacing for a few seconds.

"Damn it..." he whispered.

He punched the wall that was the closest to him.

"DAMN IT!"

A flash of pain rushed through his fingers and flowed through his entire hand but he didn't pay any attention to it. His fear for your safety was much stronger.

But despite the anger and the fear that was making his thoughts twirl in his head, blurring his judgement, he knew that the only way he had to protect you was to go and join the mission now.

So he resumed his run through the base, and he hurried in the hangar.

At the sound of BB-8's loud and urging beeps, he merely groaned.

"I know, let's hurry," he told the droid as they sprinted towards the spaceships.

BB-8 emitted a few questioning beeps.

"It's okay, buddy," Poe said, and the droid knew that the pilot was trying to convince himself more than his companion. "She'll be just fine. Her and the baby... They will both be just fine..."

 -------------------------------------------------

 You held on the closest desk to keep your balance as another shot was deflected by the shield of the cruiser.

Now, you were starting to think that it was a bad idea to come here...

But then you shook yourself, focusing on the screens before you again.

If Poe was not coming home, then neither were you.

"How many of our pilots are down?" Admiral Ackbar asked next to you.

"Seven," you read on the screen.

"We'll have only one shot to make the transports leave the surface of the moon, keep me updated."

"Yes, Admiral."

You kept your eyes on the screens, checking the position of all the pilots that were flying out there...

But your eyes kept on falling on the X-Wing labeled as Black Leader over and over again.

"Three more pilots down," you announced.

"Our men down there on the moon need more time," another Lieutenant announced on your left as she listened closely to the messages sent from the surface of the moon thousands of miles under your feet.

"Lieutenant Y/L/N," the Admiral called for you. "Tell our pilots to hold on for a bit longer. Priority on their cannons."

"Aye."

You opened the channel to communicate with the Leaders of all the squadrons out there.

And you knew that Poe would be hearing your voice...

"To all Leaders," you said in a clear voice. "Our men need more time down there. Hold on. Aim in priority on blasters and cannons."

They all answered, but when Poe's voice reached your ear, your heart stumbled in your chest.

"Black Leader holding on."

Just four little words but they slowed down your heart for a second. The sound of his voice was the final proof that he was alright.

You were shaken violently again, almost falling from your chair as your ship was hit this time.

"Full power on the deflector shields!" Admiral Ackbar shouted across the bridge.

"Full power on," a Lieutenant answered.

But you heard the sound of a violent explosion shaking the whole ship...

"Power going down," the same lieutenant announced in a firm voice. "We'll lose our shields in just a few minutes.

The whole cruiser was shaken once more.

You rested your hand on your stomach, your eyes falling on the signal coming from Poe's X-Wing again.

Nor you nor Poe nor the baby could be hurt, everything would be alright...

You tried to convince yourself over and over again.

Things would be alright...

Things would be alright...

Things...

"How about our men on the moon?" the Admiral asked.

"They're leaving from the planet soil, they'll be here in less than three minutes," the dark-haired woman said loudly next to you.

"Put the Black Squadron to accompany their vessels up here. Red Squadron in reinforcement. The rest of the fleet stays focused on those cannons."

You immediately opened the channel again.

"Black leader, your squadron must protect the vessels coming up from the planet. Red leader, stay put, you're set on reinforcement for Black Leader."

"Red Leader, copy that."

"Black Leader, I can't see any shuttle or vessels coming up."

You turned towards your fellow Lieutenant who was in contact with the fighters down on the green moon.

"Where are they?" you asked her. "The pilots can't see them coming our way."

"They're just coming out of the atmosphere, they should be coming straight under us."

You turned towards the console before you again.

"They are just reaching outer space, Black Leader. You should see them right under the cruiser."

"Okay, got 'em. By the way, saw a few explosions on the cruiser, you're okay up there Y/N?"

You blushed slightly, knowing that the people around you could hear the conversation.

"We're okay. Poe... Be careful. You'd better bring back your sassy ass here in one piece, do you hear me?"

He chuckled.

"See you when this shit is done."

And then his voice was gone once more, and you were left with just your desire to hear it again.

Your eyes drifted towards the screen, but his X-Wing was still there.

"Admiral, three minutes left and we're losing our shield."

The Admiral thought for a few seconds, before turning towards you again.

"Warn our pilots. They have two minutes to reach the cruiser. But the shuttles must be onboard before we leave."

You turned towards the radio one more time.

"Attention to all pilots," you said clearly, your voice firm and loud enough to cover the sound of a new explosion shaking the whole ship, despite the lump that was creeping up your throat. "The shields of the cruiser will soon be down. You need to come back to the cruiser in less than two minutes, all of you. Black Leader, the vessels must be here before these two minutes are over, do you copy?"

"Cop..."

But then the sound disappeared.

It wasn't just blurred nor shushed it was gone altogether. Your eyes snapped up to the screen but it was all dark... all the X-Wings and bombers had disappeared...

"I can't receive any signal coming from any of our pilots," you warned Ackbar.

"Try to bring them back onl..."

"It's useless, I can't receive any of their signals, our communication system is down," you interrupted him.

You were so scared now, you didn't care about the fact that you had interrupted an Admiral.

You couldn't keep an eye on Poe anymore, you couldn't talk to him nor warn him if something went wrong...

"Nothing here either," the Lieutenant next to you shook her head.

"Can you repair it?" the Admiral asked.

You shook your head.

"No, I can't. Not from here, and anyway it would take much more than two minutes."

You stared at the infinite dark space stained with stars before you.

"We're both mute and deaf..."

 ---------------------------------------------

 "Y/N?!"

Poe couldn't hear you, you were not answering out there. Although he could still see the cruiser above him, he could also see the impacts that laser cannons had left on the large ship.

And he was going mad not knowing if you were alright or not up there...

"Y/N?! Answer me, please."

He cursed loudly, and BB-8 beeped softly.

"Don't tell me to calm down, buddy," Poe replied. "Are you sure our communications are all good? Are you sure that it comes from them?"

But BB-8's answer was positive.

"I hate those bad days..." Poe sighed, before talking to the rest of his squadron. "Black Leader to all pilots, they seem to be deaf and mute up there. Stay focused, and let's hurry. I don't know for you, but I'd rather be home before dinner."

"Do you pay us the drinks tonight, son?" L'Ulo asked.

"Anything as long as we're all back in one piece," Poe answered, but his tone was not as humorous as usual.

"You're okay, Poe?" Snap asked, dropping 'Black Leader' in favor of his Commander's name, obvious sign of his worry.

"Yeah, yeah... just let's get those vessels up there safe and sound."

"Black Leader, TIE coming our way at nine..." Jessika Pava announced.

Poe spotted the incoming fighters almost instantly.

"Black Two, you're coming with me, we'll take care of the new visitors," Poe commanded. "The rest of the Squadron stays close to the vessels."

In the blink of an eye, BB-8 was letting out worried beeps as Poe was chasing after two TIE starfighters.

"Relax, BB-8," Poe reassured his droid. "Keep on checking the communication with the cruiser, and tell me how much time we have left."

He winced at the answer the droid gave him.

One minute...

As he was shooting down a TIE, Poe was calculating the time needed for the vessels to reach the cruiser... and he was not certain that one minute would be enough.

Three starfighters were suddenly facing him, and BB-8 shrieked when Poe didn't flinch and flew right towards them.

"Buddy, I need more speed," he told the droid as he was twirling to avoid his enemies shots. "Come on now, Buddy. Give me a few happy beeps..."

But the droid remained silent, although Poe could soon take more speed, so much that he was pushed against his seat. But it was just fast enough for him to shoot a TIE, fly in between the two that were left, and make a narrow loop to shoot them both from behind.

"Thanks, buddy!" Poe laughed. "That was great, BB-8!"

But when the droid beeped again, it was to warn the pilot that the vessels had almost reached the cruiser.

"Alright, let's hurry up to go there as well, or they'll leave without us."

He flew towards the cruiser in a hurry, Snap's X-Wing right behind him. But as he looked up at the large warship, he could see holes in the structure, and one of them was rather close to the command center where you were stationed. And the closer he flew to the cruiser, the faster his heart was beating.

He could never survive if you died in that damn ship, and he knew it. He had always been worried about you when you left for a mission, with him or not, but now that you were pregnant his worry for you had increased exponentially. Never again would he allow you to take risks like this...

"The vessels are all in," Jess spoke in the radio. "I would hurry if I were you, Black leader."

"We're on our way, keep the gates open for us," Poe replied.

The little distance left to reach the cruiser happened without incident, and just a few seconds later, both Poe and Snap were safely inside the large ship, along with the rest of their squadron. But for once Poe didn't pay much attention to his fellow pilots. He just made sure that they had all reached the cruiser, that all the soldiers they were meant to accompany from the moon to the starship were all inside as well, before sprinting across the large hall and heading towards the long corridor that would lead him to you. He staggered as the ship trembled when it reached hyperspace. But it didn't stop his crazy race across the ship, merely slowing him down for a moment, before he was running as fast as he could again.

He needed to see you. He needed to make sure that you were alright...

As he was closer and closer to you, he started calling for you.

"Y/N!"

Your name echoed through the room, and you turned around, your heart skipping a beat.

Poe was back...

"Y/N!"

You stood up from your chair, not caring about all your colleagues and the Admiral who were staring at you.

And when he stormed into the room, his brown eyes desperately looking for you, you ran towards him.

None of you paid any attention to all the people who were staring at the two of you as Poe swept you off of your feet.

You were holding him so tightly against you, your arms wrapped around his shoulders and neck... Aand he was pressing you against him with the same desperate need to feel that you were really there, alive and well in his strong arms that seemed to be shielding you from all that was dark and evil in this galaxy.

"You scared me so much," he whispered in your ear. "Why didn't you answer?"

"We've lost communications," you breathed. "I couldn't monitor you anymore, nor talk to you, and I couldn't know where you were and if you were okay and..."

"Hey, hey, hey," he put you back down on the ground softly, and it's only when he swept the tears away from your face with his calloused thumbs that you noticed that you were crying. "I'm alright, babe. Look, I'm alright. Not a single scratch. Okay? I'm alright, it's over now."

You buried your face in the crook of his neck, breathing deeply his scent until your head was spinning, too addicted to think straight.

"We need to talk when we're back on D'Qar," he whispered.

You nodded.

"Don't be mad at me," you whispered back, but he let out a low chuckle.

"I'm not. But we need to talk."

"I love you, Poe," you breathed in his ear, and you heard him taking a sharp intake of breath at the feeling of your warm breath against his ear.

"I love you too, Y/N."

He didn't hesitate for a second to hold your face in his large palm and pull you to him, kissing you passionately.

He dropped one final peck on your nose, before letting you go, and he gave a nod and a crooked smile at the Admiral behind you.

"Nice flight," he said, before striding out of the room.

When you walked back to your chair again, you were blushing fiercely, finally aware of all the attention that Poe had drawn to you, although the relief of both of you being alive and well was too strong for you to really feel anything but joy.

And anyway, Admiral Ackbar was smiling...

 -----------------------------------------------

 You knew that Poe would be waiting for you in the private quarters the two of you shared together, along with BB-8 of course. So when you were finally free to walk away, your report now complete, you headed straight towards your room.

And indeed, Poe was standing there next to the bed, staring at the calm and peaceful world outside, that the night had already made fall asleep.

He turned towards you when you entered the room. But you didn't dare to walk towards him, you were too scared that he could be angry. And a fight with Poe was really the thing that you needed the least after such an awful day.

"Hey," you breathed softly.

"That's all you have to say?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "After both of us risked our lives... or should I say the three of us risked our lives. And I don't know for you but when the communications went down I was so scared that something could have happened to you..."

"I was scared to have lost you as well," you said softly, your tone almost sheepish.

You looked down at your feet.

"Maybe... maybe I shouldn't have gone on this mission after all..."

But instead of arguing, of shouting at you, of being mad at you for being just as reckless as him like you expected him to... Poe strode towards you and held you tightly in his arms.

"Shut up," he whispered against your ear. "Shut up, it doesn't matter. You're here and you're alright, and it's all that matters."

He looked at you again, frowning with worry.

"Have you seen a doctor yet?"

"I'm fine, Poe."

"You should go, just to check if the baby is alright."

"Our little girl is just fine."

Poe and you exchanged a smile.

"You mean our boy," he chuckled, running his hands through your hair.

He rested his brow against yours, and you both closed your eyes in sync. Finally, all the worry that you had carried all day long was falling from your shoulders and there was no burden tightening your chest. And you knew that Poe felt the same.

"It just seems that..." he whispered, holding you close to him again. "Since we've learnt that you're pregnant I worry even more about you."

"I feel the same about you though," you smiled.

"I can't lose the two of you," Poe went on, whispering in your ear while he held on you like he would never let go. "I'm ready to give so much for the Resistance, I'm ready to give my life but not this... not the two of you."

He looked at you again.

"Don't go on mission again. Please, don't do that again," he whispered.

You nodded.

"I won't. I was so scared and worried about you up there... I don't think it's good for the baby."

He smiled.

"There's something else we need to do right away."

"What is it?" you asked him, your fingers stroking his cheek tenderly.

"We should get married."

Your eyes grew round with surprise.

"Now?" you asked, a smile slowly forming on your face.

"I'm not taking the risk to lose you again while you're not my wife," he nodded.

"But... we haven't planned anything yet?"

"It doesn't matter. We have the rings, that's all we need."

"We... we haven't invited anyone..."

"We'll drop by the hangar and gather everyone. Actually... we should get married there."

"In the hangar?"

"Why not?"

"And who would marry us?"

He smiled mischievously.

"Oh... I know just the right person for the job..."

 -------------------------------------------------

 Fifty minutes. That's the time that had happened between the moment Poe was convincing you to marry him that very day, and now. In fifty minutes, Poe had managed to gather your friends, to get dressed, and most importantly, to convince the person who would make your marriage official.

And so there you were, holding a bouquet of wild flowers BB-8 had hurried to cut for you right outside the base, in a long, white dress that Rose Tico and her sister Paige had managed to find somewhere on the base. You had no idea where you two friends had found it though.

And as you walked into the hangar, in the middle of the X-Wings and other ships, surrounded with oil and dirt and pieces of broken metal, all of your friends fell silent. Everyone was staring at you as you walked towards Poe, but you didn't care. Poe standing there, a grin plastered on his face, dressed in his best suit, was all that your eyes could see.

Before you could realize it, you were standing before him, and Rose was taking your flowers away, and Poe was taking your shaking hands in his trembling ones.

And you were pretty sure that this stupid smile that was painted on his face was drawn onto yours too, but again, you couldn't find a way to care.

Next to you, Leia Organa cleared her throat.

"Are you both ready to start?" she asked with a smile full of mischief.

Both you and Poe nodded.

"I have to admit that this is my first wedding... I mean beside the one where I was the bride," she said with humour, and everyone chuckled, you and Poe included. "You will have to forgive me if I don't speak exactly the words that are needed to be spoken under these circumstances. And first, I think that we can skip the bullshit about the importance of marriage and everything at the beginning..."

"We can," Poe laughed, nodding.

"Good. Then let's just get to the point. Poe Dameron, do you promise to love and cherish Y/N Y/L/N, in sickness or in health, no matter your wealth, until death do you part?"

"I do," Poe grinned, and his hold on your hands tightened slightly.

Leia smiled as she turned towards you. And you could see happy tears shining in her eyes.

" Y/N Y/L/N, do you promise to love and cherish Poe Dameron, in sickness or in health, no matter your wealth, until death do you part?"

"I do," you nodded, your throat tightened by so many emotions.

Your brain could barely register what was happening when BB-8 rolled towards the two of you, holding up your two rings.

The next second you were slipping a ring around Poe's finger, and he was doing the same for you, and the whole world was perfect...

"You are now husband and wife," Leia said, her voice shaking slightly. "You may kiss the bride."

Poe didn't waste a second to wrap an arm around your waist, and he crushed your lips together. You could hear all of your friends cheering, but the sounds seemed to come from far away, the feeling of Poe's body pressed against yours, and your fingers tangled in his dark curly hair, and his scent running through your lungs...

You remained in his warm embrace for a few more seconds, before finally turning to the people around you.

You thanked Leia, and cheered with your friends, but Poe's fingers never left yours all along. Slowly, you reached the door of the hangar again, and while everyone was heading towards the meal that you would all take together, Poe pulled you into a deserted corridor. He checked that no one was there, before pressing you against the wall and kissing you passionately again.

You giggled into the kiss.

"Why do I feel like someone here is eager to get to the honeymoon?" you laughed, as Poe let his lips slip down to your neck.

He bit your neck playfully, making you giggle again.

"Don't try to make me believe that you're not eager to get there too," he chuckled.

He looked up at you, and his hand came resting on your cheek, his thumb brushing your lower lip softly.

"Where did you find this dress?" he asked with an amused smile.

"Rose and Paige gave me a hand."

He chuckled.

"Well, you do look stunning, Mrs. Dameron," he smirked.

"You're not that bad either, Mr. Dameron," you smiled back, blushing slightly.

You suddenly realized that you had forgotten something important.

"We didn't have vows," you blurted out.

Poe frowned.

"We said 'I do'," he replied.

But you rolled your eyes.

"I don't know, aren't people supposed to write vows? To promise each other love and things like that."

"Do you want me to improvise something? Alright, let's improvise then."

He smiled, dropping a peck onto your lips before speaking again.

"Y/N Dameron," he said with a smirk, and you punched his shoulder playfully, before he would grow more serious again. "I love you. I love you more than anything and I will always do. I know that this world we are living in is... a mess. But I promise you that as long as I keep breathing, I will do everything within my power to make you happy and to protect you. And no matter what the future could bring to us, I promise you to always be by your side and to always love you."

Your eyes were shining with tears, but Poe and you exchanged a tender smile.

"Now... that was a pretty good speech," you whispered.

"You'd better not mess it up, or I'll be disappointed by your vow now," he laughed.

"You do put pressure on me."

You both laughed.

"Okay... let's do this," you chuckled, before staring at Poe again, and your laugh slowly faded. "Poe Dameron, I promise to always love your reckless behaviour. And I promise that I will try not to kill you when you come back to the base wounded. And... I'll always try hard to make you laugh because you're so handsome when you smile. I'll always stay by your side, because my heart is yours and it will always be."

You exchanged tender smiles again, and this time his eyes were wet with tears.

"Not bad," he gave you a crooked smile.

He kept on smirking for a long while, and eventually, you started to narrow your eyes at him.

"What?" you asked, playing with his curly hair.

"Nothing, it's just..." he said, his smirk turning into a large grin. "I love you."

"I love you too, Poe. But there's something else going on in your crazy mind..."

He chuckled.

"I just..." he went on, his voice low. "I feel lucky. To have you, and the baby that is coming and... I feel lucky that you're mine. I feel... happy."

***********************************

Tag List : @that-bwitch, @wearetalkingtoyou

[keepingup-withthetargaryens]

S7, E4:

Damn. God damn HBO.

I haven’t been writing these because I feel like everything is all a bit more straightforward these days, and people don’t need recaps because everyone is an ~expert~. I got close last week because it was such a badass episode, but this one. I. AM. Shook. 

The before-the-show “remember this” previews always get me because, i.e., in this one, we see Qyburn talking about a “solution” for the dragons, you see Dany getting frustrated, and you’re like SHIT NOT THE DRAGONS. 

But let’s back up.

So we begin at Highgarden (RIP OLENNA) with Jaime paying his debts to Bronn. I hate to say this, because as much as I hated the sand snakes (overall and just... overall) I kind of wanted Bronn to ride off to King’s Landing to save Tyene... somehow. Wishful thinking, because Bronn sends him off to help Dickon Tarly yell at people.

Now on to Cersei. Tycho, this guy from the Iron Bank, is hella creepy. He reminds me of my student loan officer from college who was like “if you take that fifth year, think about all you can accomplish”. And now 1/3 of my monthly income goes away to pay it off. Anyway.

Cersei is still possessed with the idea of controlling the “continent” which at this point sounds incredibly stupid given what we know is to come with the War for the Dawn. But, semantics.

Okay, this dagger situation. Littlefinger is being smarmy, and talking about how Bran almost died, and Catelyn did die. It’s almost as bad as when Bran was like “Hey Sansa, remember how beautiful you were when you were raped?”  It also sounds really “off” to hear Petyr call him “Brandon” because only Cat did that when she was yelling at him for climbing around Winterfell. 

I’m so glad that Meera interrupts the smarm-sesh because Bran isn’t really waving him off. And tbh whenever I see Meera, I just hope they’re not going to go down the “Jon and Meera” twins crackpot theory road. The one where they decide that there were TWO babies at the Tower of Joy, and Ned took one, and Howland took the other? I hate that theory. Let us have Jon. Meera’s a badass, but... THEN she starts talking about how when “they” (the white walkers) come, she needs to be with her family. Ah, yes, her father, THE Howland Reed, who killed Arthur Dayne, who was the only other living person not a baby who was there at the Tower when Lyanna made Ned swear to protect Jon’s true identity. 

Can SOMEONE please just tell this boy he’s a Targaryen already?! I’ve waited 12 years and that’s long enough.

Back to Bran. Bran is still being very Jaden Smith-like and it’s getting old because he’s not really helping anyone. Bran, this is why we left you out of an entire season. Remember that? The North does. 

So, now Arya is here, and maybe she can knock some sense into raisin-Bran. 

Arya looking at the Stark crest, though. *Tears up*

I’m upset that we’ve come so far that nobody knows who Rodrick is. SER RODRICK. I miss those mutton chops.

Arya and Sansa! Together! Being sassy! I love it! Except I only see Maisie and Sophie together, and not their characters, and I’ve forgotten that Arya and Sansa didn’t exactly get along all those years ago.

They talk about how Jon would be SO happy to see Arya, and I hope we get to that point. Arya says that Ned’s statue doesn’t look him him, just as Robert remarked that Lyanna’s looks nothing like her, so that seems to be a trend in the Stark crypt.

I like how Sansa is essentially WTF about her siblings’ new personalities. Bran is a fortune-telling raisin, and Arya is an assassin who broke bread with Ed Sheeran.

THREE STARKS IN ONE FRAME. AT WINTERFELL. I CAN’T.

Clearly Bran has seen Arya do something with this dagger, or he wouldn’t be so creepy about giving it to her. He ~knows. I’m glad Sansa perks up and says something about how Littlefinger has to be up to something, because for a minute there it looked like she was on board with him.

I love how Jon literally interrupts girl talk here, and Missandei is like “well talk later”. 

I also love how Dany just waltzes in there with him, and is apparently fully on board with trusting him at this point.

And we all know how much Jon Snow loves caves. *wink*

I like how he thinks he’s showing her a bit of her heritage, but really, he’s discovering his own as well. 

How CONVENIENT that there are markings showing white walkers, the very things she doesn’t believe in, though?

When Jon touches Dany I literally just wanted to scream “THEY ARE TOUCHING. WHO TOUCHES THE QUEEN” like this is 2005 Pride and Prejudice and Darcy is helping Elizabeth into the carriage.

That look.

I want someone to touch my arm and lead me gently around a cave where I learn about history.

So much tension.

So. much. tension.

People were like “they have no chemistry!” Me: *Gestures at this scene*

Also, the parallels: 

“I will fight for you. I will fight for the North. When you bend the knee.”

There are tears welling up in my eyes.

DAMN, DANY. Don’t ask Jon to bend the knee in a cave because he’s already done that and we saw how that went. But honestly I could totally see them turning this around and having him “bend the knee” some other way, especially because of that tension. DAMN.

~Lingering looks and soft music~

But I don’t know how they’re going to get around the incest factor. It’s not a big deal on GoT but there’s really no way of making it normal between two beloved characters even if they are Targaryens.

In the books, Viserys yells at Dany for not being born earlier so she could marry Rhaegar (normal) because then he wouldn’t have run off with Lyanna (Jon’s mom).

And then they exit the cave so closely it almost looks like they’re holding hands from the angle, but they aren’t, don’t worry. But we’ve come a long way in one episode.

Tyrion’s like, what do you want, good news or bad news first? Varys is like, my hands are cold.

Okay, I feel bad that Dany digs into Tyrion like that, but she has a right to be pissed. I also like how she says Jon and Davos should stay because they’re essentially part of her small council now.

“Enough with clever plans. I have three large dragons. I’m going to fly them to the Red Keep”.

I like how she says “large”. Not just that she has dragons, but like they’re LARGE. Anyway.

AND THEN SHE LOOKS TO JON. TO JON.

He’s like “who, me?” Missandei and Varys are like “who, him?” 

Help me Jon Snow. You’re my only hope.

And he gives her a speech about doing impossible things, which he has ALSO done. The layers. (I’m not just saying layers because the Onion knight is right there.)

Every time we see dragons I’m like “can Rhaegal come say hi to Jon” like we’re at the damn pet store.

Arya. Sparring with Brienne. I also can’t. If you think back to when Ned was telling Arya she’d make a fine lady one day, and she told him that’s not who she was, so he hired Syrio, and she was getting somewhat decent, but she wasn’t great. Now... on par with Brienne. We’ve come so far. *ANTM fist pump*

Pod’s like “damnnnn”.

Sansa’s like “who is my sister”. 

Littlefinger’s like “oh fuck”.

THIS. IS. GAME. OF. THRONES. 

Honestly you can tell this was so fun to shoot for the two of them, and I love it. I’m living.

Omg Jon acting like he’s in middle school: “who?” YOUR CRUSH JON. YOUR CRUSH. “I’ve seen you staring at her good heart”. ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH THIS DIALOGUE, D&D?

Okay, two things are happening here. 

1. Davos CONTINUES to mention Missandei OF NAATH. Not just, Missandei. While it’s common to mention where people are from, nothing on this show is coincidental. He even talks about if she wanted to sail home to Naath. Just FYI - if you want to know something slightly sketchy, look up the butterflies of Naath.

2. They talk about names, which Jon is like “semantics”. Are they setting us up for his Targaryen name reveal?! “My mother and father weren’t married”. BUT WERE THEY?! Ugh I can’t wait to get into this and talk about how they probably were but this post is long enough as it is.

Missandei speaks 19 languages. And she doesn’t know what a bastard is. Okay.

Jon’s aggression toward Theon. YAS. There’s my little warrior bb. His expression is the epitome of “over this shit”.

I’m honestly surprised Theon had the balls to walk toward Jon at all. Okay not funny.

Okay, sidebar: sometimes I just think about Kit in Pompeii. Running around. Being a gladiator. I’m done now.

“The Queen is gone.”

OH MY GOD DANY IS GOING TO GET THE LANNISTERS. 

“If the head of the line is ambushed, the tail will never be able to reinforce it in time” - Randyll Tarly, you foreshadower, you. Head. Tail. Dragon. I see you.

“Rickon.”

“Dickon.”

Bronn: *Cackles. Is all of us*

I like how Jaime continues to call him by dead Stark names - previously, Rickard, and now Rickon. 

But then. Hoofbeats. DAMN, DAMN. I hate the Lannisters but I like Jaime and Bronn and I know what a shitstorm is coming for them and ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE IT?!

I like how you can hear the Dothraki screaming from that far away, before you can even see them. Remember this conversation that Robert and Cersei had in season 1? Robert: I do know this: If the Targaryen girl convinces her horselord husband to invade and the Dothraki horde crosses the Narrow Sea...We won't be able to stop them. Cersei: The Dothraki don't sail. Every child knows that. They don't have discipline, they don't have armor, they don't have siege weapons. Robert: It's a neat little trick you do. You move your lips and your father's voice comes out. Cersei: Is my father wrong? Robert: Let's say Viserys Targaryen lands with 40,000 Dothraki screamers at his back. We hole up in our castles. A wise move. Only a fool would meet the Dothraki in an open field. They leave us in our castles. They go from town to town, looting and burning, killing every man who can't hide behind a stone wall, stealing all our crops and livestock, enslaving all our women and children. How long do the people of the Seven Kingdoms stand behind their absentee king, their cowardly king hiding behind high walls? When do the people decide that Viserys Targaryen is the rightful monarch after all?

Those payoffs, though.

It all looks quite stormy, as though this battle will go in favor of Daenerys Stormborn.

Sidebar: they did a fantastic job with the CGI background, here.

Jaime, if Bronn is telling you to go, you go. He doesn’t play around.

“DRACARYS”

DAMN, DANY.

And people are shook. People are stepping over each other’s ashes like it’s Pompeii (shout out, Kit) while the Dothraki mow over them.

I’ve watched a lot of war movies.

I’ve watched a lot of battle scenes.

And, damn.

Big question: Are Rhaegal and Viserion at home, or?

Sidebar: this must have been EXPENSIVE for all that fire power.

Archers with regular arrows: nope

Bronn with the scorpion: SHIT

SHIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME WE HAVE TO WATCH BRONN SHOOT DROGON WHILST DANY RIDES HIM. THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I feel like this is the worst kind of dread because you KNOW it’s going to happen.

Bronn is 100% “if I were into that, I’d be into that.” Like, if I were into guys with issues and lots of war wrinkles, I’d be into him. Which means I slightly am. Anyway.

And after Dany and Drogon almost gets hit, SHE DOESN’T LEAVE? SHE DOESN’T LEARN FROM THE FIGHTING PIT SCENE? GO, GO, GO.

As much as I am in agony I’m also like THIS IS PRIME GAME OF THRONES. BRONN, AIMING A GIANT CROSSBOW THING AT A DRAGON WHILE DANY RIDES IT AND TRIES TO BURN HIM TO A CRISP? THIS. IS. GAME. OF. THRONES. BITCHES.

Sidebar: How does Bronn know how to operate this thing and dramatically throw the sides down like that?!

TYRION IS HERE? SHIT. THAT MEANS BAD THINGS FOR DANY AND/OR JAIME BECAUSE HE IS HERE TO WATCH.

“Your people can’t fight” A) Does Tyrion now speak Dothraki? He’s terrible at Valyrian. B) Is this also a reference to the fact that Tyrion MAY not be a Lannister after all? C) Is that a hint of the Rains of Castamere in the background? But like a slow remix? Um... who is going to die

Jaime, watching his soldiers crumble away like ash. Third Pompeii reference.

Bronn, shooting at Dany.

The music swells.

Drogon roars.

Tyrion watches with interest.

Bronn loads the scorpion.

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

He hits Drogon. He moves to strike again.

DANY AND DROGON ARE FALLING.

Okay, Drogon burns the scorpion to a crisp, but IS HE OKAY?! BB!

Dany’s really going to pull that thing out herself?

No, JAIME. DON’T DO IT.

You one-handed idiot.

But honestly that shot of Jaime galloping along the burning riverbanks toward Dany is cinematic goals.

Dany actually looks scared, but Drogon’s got her.

BAM.

BOOM.

P.S. If they killed Jaime off, I feel like they’d tell us. They were outright with Olenna... they weren’t outright with Jon. Jaime still has a lot to do.... Valonquar, anyone?

UNTIL NEXT WEEK. P.S. If you like my recaps as much as Davos loves Jon Snow, please let me know and I’ll continue writing them.

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2018

Scrapbook for 2018! A reminder, for myself and others-

Italicized titles = enjoyed muchly, bold titles = love, titles with an asterisk* = OBSESSION and titles in (brackets) are re-watches/re-reads. And lastly, strikethough = DISLIKE.

Goals are: read forty-five new books this year, finish six video games, write either 30 fics or 70k total, finish the damn Sabriel AU, and write something original. 

MOVIES

January

(Guardians of the Galaxy 2)

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

February

(LOTR: Fellowship)

(Wonder Woman)

Black Panther

Annihilation

March

The Ritual

Cloverfield Paradox

Pacific Rim Uprising

A Wrinkle In Time

(Star Wars: The Force Awakens)

(IT)

(Star Wars: The Last Jedi)

April

Wolf Children

Moonlight

The Red Turtle

Europa Report

Avengers: Infinity War

May

A Quiet Place

Alien

Deadpool 2

The Conjuring

BOOKS

January

A Tale For The Time Being | Ruth Ozeki

La Belle Sauvage | Phillip Pullman [Fin]

London Falling | Paul Cornell

A Swiftly Tilting Planet | Madeline L’Tengle [Fin]

In Other Lands | Sarah Rees Brennan [Fin]

They Both Die In The End | Adam Silvera [Fin]

Thunderhead | Neal Shusterman [Fin]

The Sun and Her Flowers | Rupi Kaur [Fin]

The Paper Magician | Charlie Holmberg 

February

A Tale For The Time Being | Ruth Ozeki [Fin]

The Diviners | Libba Bray [Fin]

The Paper Magician | Charlie Holmberg [Fin]

We Were Liars | E Lockhart [Fin]

Lair of Dreams | Libba Bray [Fin]

The Tropic of Serpents | Marie Brennan

The Goblin Emperor | Katherine Addison

I Am: Seventeen Brushes With Death | Maggie O’Farrell [Fin]

Norse Mythology | Neil Gaiman [Fin]

Phasma | Delilah Dawson

Caraval | Stephanie Garber

March

The Tropic of Serpents | Marie Brennan

The Goblin Emperor | Katherine Addison [Fin]

Phasma | Delilah Dawson [Fin]

Caraval | Stephanie Garber [Fin]

Tess of the Road | Rachel Hartman [Fin]

Clariel | Garth Nix [Fin]

Seraphina | Rachel Hartman [Fin]

Before The Devil Breaks You | Libba Bray

April

Before The Devil Breaks You | Libba Bray [Fin]

The Tropic of Serpents | Marie Brennan

Salt to the Sea | Ruta Sepetys  [Fin]

The Wicked Deep | Shea Ernshaw  [Fin]

Hamlet | William Shakespeare  [Fin]

Fangirl | Rainbow Rowell [Fin]

The Scorpion Rules | Erin Bow [Fin]

The Thief | Megan Whalen Turner [Fin]

Hear The Wind Sing | Haruki Murakami [Fin]

May

The Tropic of Serpents | Marie Brennan [Fin]

Only Human | Sylvain Neuvel [Fin]

World War Z | Max Brooks [Fin]

The Queen of Attolia | Megan Whalen Turner [Fin]

The Stand | Stephen King

Shadow Scale | Rachel Hartman [Fin]

London Falling | Paul Cornell [Fin]

Goldenhand | Garth Nix [Fin]

PODCASTS

January:

N/A

February

N/A

March

The Bright Sessions (Eps 30-41)

Wolf 359 (Eps 5-8)

King Falls AM (Eps 5-6)

April

The Bright Sessions (Eps 41-52)

Wolf 359 (Eps 8-13)

King Falls AM (Eps 6-7)

Penumbra Podcast (Episode 1)

May

Wolf 359 (Eps 14-49)

The Bright Sessions (53-55)

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

January:

Planet Earth II

Devilman Crybaby

Steven Universe s4

Brooklyn Nine-Nine s1

RWBY s5

(Stranger Things 2)

The Orville

(The X-Files)

The Flash s3

February

The Flash s3

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The Gifted

The Good Place

The Runaways

AP Bio

March

Voltron s5

(Soul Eater)

Battlestar Galactica

(Sailor Moon)

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Cards

Bride of the Ancient Magus

Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress

April

Battlestar Galactica

Legion

The Flash

AP Bio

(Yu Yu Hakusho)

Persona 5 Animation

Westworld s2

May

Westworld s2

Legion

The Flash

Lost In Space s1

Persona 5 Animation

Siren s1

Steven Universe s5

VIDEO GAMES

January:

Prey (18 hrs)

Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds (20 hrs, FIN)

Monster Hunter World (8 hrs)

February

Monster Hunter World (25 hrs)

Kingdom Hearts BBS (1 hr)

March

Monster Hunter World (25 hrs) 

Witcher 3 [FIN JFC]

Stellaris

Life Is Strange

April

Life Is Strange

Final Fantasy 12: Zodiac Age

Dragon Age: Inquisition (Dany - 98 hrs; Brienne - 5 hrs)

May

Dragon Age: Inquisition (Dany - 138 hrs - FIN; Brienne - 5 hrs)

SOMA

Witcher 3: Hearts of Stone DLC

DELIGHTFUL FIC

January:

Just the One, Two by Panny | Jessica Jones | Jessica/Trish | 10k They say you should never meet your heroes, but what about when you've been sort of in love with them since they broke your mother's marble sink? 

Daylight by @notbecauseofvictories | Star Wars | Rey/Luke | 3k “Can I ask what you think it is you’re doing?” Luke says. His voice is only a little strangled. The silence that falls in its place is awkward, thick as sand. “Oh,” Rey stutters out. “Is that not—?” “No,” Luke grits out. “Please put your clothes back on.”

run all the lights by @fahye | Captive Prince | Damen/Laurent | 8.5k He’s a slim, too-pretty boy of twenty, and the men of this particular underworld talk about him as though he’s an open flame, a sparking engine near a pool of gasoline: volatile, and not to be handled. Kid’s got balls of sheer fucking steel, Damen’s contact said. Which must be true, because having just lost a race against Damen for pink slips, Laurent looks him straight in the eye and says, “Double or nothing?” in a voice like vodka poured straight from the freezer.

They Say It's Mighty Fine by apocryphal | Teen Wolf | Sterek | 23k "Hello. This is Alpha Vernon Boyd, calling from Camp Remus about—""Derek?" Talia asks, confused. "You're calling about Derek? Is he okay? What happened?""Oh, boy." Melissa blows out a breath. "All right. Is he hurt?""He's been there for two hours, what could he possibly have—" John pauses. "Hang on, Camp Remus? Like the werewolf camp?"

León de mi Corazón by clockheartedcrocodile | The Exorcist | Tomas/Marcus | 16k | Not for the first time, Marcus wishes he were a poet. Tomas drinks up beautiful words like wine, practically thrives on them. He thinks of his own clumsy attempt at a letter, begun and re-begun until the whole thing had been consigned to the rubbish bin. It was laughable.Besides, he thinks, Tomas and Jessica wrote letters because they could not have each other.“You have me,” he says, quiet enough that Tomas won’t wake.

Things Worth Knowing by Femme (femmequixotic) | HP | Drarry | 163k After the Battle, Harry thinks he's left Hogwarts for good, but Minerva insists that all students return for an Eighth Year if they wish to sit for NEWTs in the spring, and Harry needs those NEWTs to go into the Aurors. Draco's just grateful not to be in Azkaban. Or the Manor. He's hoping he can steer clear of Potter this year and grapple with his own problems.

Under the Covers by ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 72k Steve is (maybe) a little bit still in love with Nancy Wheeler and (maybe) trying to figure himself out-- between the night terrors and the babysitting and the general weirdness that is Hawkins, Indiana-- before he graduates.Billy Hargrove fits in there somewhere (probably).

the party never ends by brawlite | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 7k Billy wants a fight from Steve Harrington. He'll do just about anything to get it, too.

February

what a wicked game you played (to make me feel this way) by brawlite, ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | WIP | Billy knew Steve Harrington would ruin him. Steve knew Billy Hargrove was nothing but trouble.They never expected it to end up like this.

don't just stand there by brawlite | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 3.5k Steve kisses a stranger in a club in a desperate attempt to spurn an advance from an unwanted admirer. Turns out, it's not really a stranger at all.

there's nothing wrong with me (loving you, baby) by ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 4.6k | “Mr. Hargrove,It has come to HR’s attention that you have, once again, used company property incorrectly. Please refrain from using the break room as a work out facility during your lunch hour. If you are in need a gym recommendation, I'm happy to provide you some. Remove your weights from the lower cabinets at your earliest convenience.Regards, S. Harrington”This isn’t the first ridiculous email Steve has had to send to Hargrove, and Steve sincerely doubts it will be his last.

in waves by lymricks | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 45k Plant your feet, Billy wants to scream at him. I’m going to bowl you over.

can't you see them? (can't you feel them?) by ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 8k | They're breathing down your neck.

Little Pockets of Upturned Loneliness by SeptemberEndings | Stranger Things | Gen | 5k | Months pass, and nothing bad happens to Will.

isizathu by black_nata | Black Panther | T’Challa/Erik | 8k |  "What do you want?" T'Challa whispers. Almost like he's pleading. All Erik wants to do is wrap his fist around that smooth throat and make him beg some more.

falling for you in hawkins, indi-fucking-ana by LazyBaker | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 31k | Billy gets his shit together. Steve figures some stuff out. They fall in love.

thank god you see me the way you do by LazyBaker | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 6k |  Five times Billy has had sex and one time he made love.

Secrets Make This Town by Oop | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy/Hopper | 5k | Hopper knows that Billy Hargrove sucks cock like he was born for it and he knows Steve Harrington is hung like a pornstar. He knows these by accident.

March

another city (better than this one) by notbecauseofvictories | Star Wars | Gen, Ben Solo & Lando | 6k | “You really should be more creative with your aliases,” Lando says mildly. “I’ve had every anagram of ‘Skywalker’ flagged since the first time you tried to run away from home.”

his hands so cold they shake by plinys | FBAWTFT | Percival/Credence | 4k |  A soul mate is meant to be a blessing, but Percival feels anything but blessed.

We Keep Meeting by scioscribe | Hamilton | Hamilton & Burr | 4.5k |  In which Hamilton finds himself a little more non-stop than even he expected, and Burr doesn't know why he's surprised that even death can't make Alexander Hamilton lie down and be quiet.

There Aren't Any Stars in the Sky by Ambrosia | Star Wars | Reylo | 4k | “Why are you here?” Rey asks. She appears to be meditating. Even his muscles remember the basics. Her eyes are peacefully closed.“Your mind is most open when you Jedi meditate, ‘letting everything go’,” he tells her, striding around in a vicious, predatory circle. “Which you would know if you had an at least halfway-competent teacher.”

Found Wanting by sellertape | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 2k | It didn’t take superpowers to know what Mark wanted him to say. He wanted him to lie. It didn’t take superpowers to get Damien to do what you wanted.

pull out the insides by SpineAndSpite | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 4k | “Stop,” Damien says again, more insistent this time.“I’m not doing it on purpose.” Mark's heart pounds in his ears and he sees Damien’s hands shaking. God. They shouldn’t have started talking about sex. Shouldn’t have filled in the colors and shadows to this pencil outline of a sketch forming between them. They shouldn’t have given it a name.

Life Is Not A Love Song by DetectiveJoan | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 4k |  “Oh, you know the old saying — once bitten, twice mildly paranoid that everyone you’ve ever met is secretly working for the shady government agency that kidnapped you.” Mark's voice is sing-song through the dressing room door.

I Want You To Want Me by Ryuutchi | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 4k | Food, scotch, sex-- I don’t know, Damien; there's a lot of good things in life.

(coming for the king, that's) a far cry by lipgallagher | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 17k |  billy and steve 'pretend' to be gay boyfriends in love for what is essentially just extremely small-time personal gain.

all these to me by lymricks | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 9k |  Three times Steve and Billy share (a bed, a meal, the truth) and one time they share (a virus).

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya | Yuri On Ice | Yuuri/Viktor | 197k | ‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

no need to say goodbye by smolsarcasticraspberry | Voltron | Allura/Shiro | 13k | The juniberry tree blossoms every seven years, and when it does, a gateway opens up to another world - a world that Shiro first explores as a child. There, he meets Allura.

(shoot the lights out, hide) till its bright out by lipgallagher | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 50k | The most dangerous thing walking around Hawkins goes by the name Billy Hargrove. And he fucking knows it.

April

so this guy walks into a bar by MasterOfAllImagination | Pacific Rim | Newt/Hermann | 2.5k | “Bourbon,” Hermann says, hooking his cane on the edge of the bar and sliding by degrees onto a stool.“Straight up?” the bartender asks.“Please.” Does he look like the kind of man who enjoys having his nostrils fumigated by undiluted whiskey? “On the rocks.”

Seeing in Color by what_alchemy | Pacific Rim | Newt/Hermann |  The Dr. Geiszler Hermann had found in the publications — printed pages worn with constant handling and tucked into his briefcase for easy access — was an eloquent scientist whose work functioned at a level far above almost anyone else Hermann had ever encountered in the field, and yet he neither patronized his readers nor expressed himself in the inexplicable jargon which so infected much academic work.

Strong Enough by therealraewest | Pacific Rim | Newt/Hermann | 4k |  "I would like to speak to Newt."

Laying Siege by astolat | GOT | Jaime/Brienne | 8k | “Marry me instead,” Jaime said.

Fool by astolat | GOT | Jaime/Brienne | 15k | Jaime didn’t really expect things to go well when he rode north, but after all, they hadn’t been going well otherwise, so it wasn’t that much of a change.

heartstrings by taylortot | Miraculous Ladybug | Marinette/Adrien | 60k |  one of marinette’s rare unlucky days turns into something treacherous. thanks to a certain cat, the real danger passes, but there are other things to be more afraid of. her heart, for example, might be one of them.

Words by astolat | GOT | Jaime/Brienne | 10k |  “So we’ll look for you in the North," Robb Stark said, "coming to pay your debt."

ashes to ashes, dust to dust by romanoff | Marvel | Tony/Steve | 2k | Series | Steve and Tony seek closure with a conversation.

nanna by biggrstaffbunch | Thor | Thor/Loki | 1k |  Thor, after.

just in it for the game by grim_lupine | Thor | Thor/Loki | 6k |  “It's excellent rehabilitation for my image,” Loki says, widening his eyes. “They love you, and because of that they'll trust me. You wouldn't ruin this for me, would you?” 

May

these fragments by Wildehack (Tyleet) | Avengers | Loki/Valkyrie | 4k | “Someone has to survive this day,” Thor grinds out, pressed briefly close to her by the fight.“Someone will,” she tells him.

Make Me by Ajaxthegreat | Star Wars | Hux/Ben Solo | 52k | A genocidal megalomaniac Emperor and a very slutty smuggler/occasional Resistance spy walk into a bar.

cherry pie by brawlite, ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 61k | illy Hargrove lives for summer. Endless sunshine, heavily chlorinated pools, roaming ice cream trucks, and unencumbered freedom? There’s nothing better.Even being stuck in Hawkins can’t ruin the summer for him. He eats it up, devouring every day whole.***

the ghost and good queen val by Wildehack (Tyleet) | Thor | Loki/Valkyrie/Thor | 8k |  “Oh my god,” Korg says. “You did! You saw a ghost!”

Suspicious Minds by astolat | DA | Iron Bull/Dorian, Inquisitor/Solas | 4k | “Hm,” Bull said, thoughtfully. “Something I’ve been curious about. Solas.”“You want to talk about another man now?” Dorian said.

  By The Still Waters by emilyenrose | DA | Fenhawke; Inquisitory/Solas | 83k | Hawke was left in the Fade. Fenris goes looking for him. He doesn't go alone.

Some Things Are Certain by cupiscent | Star Wars | Anakin/Obi-Wan | 7k | Detained far from where he should be by random chance, Obi-Wan meets an unusual slave.

For Better or Worse by DragonBandit | The Bright Sessions | Damien/Mark | 22k |  Wherein Damien and Mark are soulmates, and this changes enough.**

killing me to love you by mostlikelydefinentlymad | The Bright Sessions | Damien/Mark | 2k |  Mark waits by the phone.

give my reflection a break by autoeuphoric (FreezingRayne) | The Bright Sessions | Damien/Joan | 5k | When the bell rings, she almost doesn’t answer. She hasn’t ordered anything and it’s too early for carolers. She does not speak to her neighbors, and she’s not about to start today.Joan gets up and answers the door anyway. Because she wants to.

Try, Try, Try Again by anticyclone | The Bright Sessions | 8k | Joan gets mugged. Damien interrupts. Interrupting is kind of his thing.

sharp shock to your soft side by agivise | The Bright Sessions | Mark & Damien | 22k | The universe is a cruel, unforgiving bitch, and honestly, he's a little sick and tired of it. Sure, he deserves it or whatever, but still, totally uncool, universe. Real poor timing.

Scarier Things by starkraving | The Bright Sessions | Mark & Damien | 5k |  Mark drags Damien back across the country in what amounts to the most karmic reverse kidnapping in history, but stopping to take hipster pics of scenic overlooks will not protect you from the scary stuff lurking in the liminal space behind highway truck-stops.

Patient Intake by starkraving | The Bright Sessions | Joan & Damien | 9k |  ssume Joan takes a less passive approach to Damien’s influence in her life. Assume she’s sitting in her car with the engine running and he’s on the sidewalk in front of her. Assume there’s six months between this moment and the moment she first met him.  

Artifice by buttpatrol | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Hera | 23k | A story told in parts about colour palettes, identity, robot uprisings, sensational trials, space, and messy love.

blow your mongrel mind by endquestionmark | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Jacobi | 13k | The first time Eiffel sees Colonel Warren Kepler — shockingly real, after so many days spent somewhere between delusion and despair — what strikes him most is how still Kepler is.

Calling Out My Name by vlasdygoth | Wolf 359 | Jacobi/Kepler | 2.5k | Five times Kepler called Jacobi a pet name, and one time Jacobi managed to pull it off on him.

and twice as bright by endquestionmark | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Hera | 6k |  “Eiffel.” Very quiet, hardly audible through the echoes. “What is it like?” 

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

January:

2017 [Multifandom Mashup]

MCU Films // ♫Can't You Hear Me Knocking (12 Strong trailer version)♫

Arya & Brienne // The Rules Were Wrong

play with fire [Black Butler]

kylo ren & rey【 In a Dream, in a Nightmare 】TLJ spoilers

Stranger Things || Above and Below

Jim Hopper || Do you ever feel cursed?

Stranger Things || Sweet Dreams

February

Stranger Things || Time After Time 

Darth Vader // The Force is strong with you

Game of Thrones || We Live In A Beautiful World

Allison Argent | Look What You Made Me Do

Kylo Ren and Rey l Hearts A Mess

►Stranger Things | Stay Alive

not alone | stranger things

Will Byers || You're home now

March

Voltron | Cosmic Love 

Voltron | Broken Crown

River, MARVEL. [2k]

Voltron | Radioactive

S O L D I E R ll Voltron AMV

Loki // Hustler

a morphine toast

Bucky x Steve || Brooklyn (Go Hard)

Fullmetal Alchemist || Brother

Anime Mix - Legends Never Die [AMV]

Death Parade AMV - Feeling Good

AMV - Crucible of Souls - Bestamvsofalltime Anime MV ♫

[AMV] Transmutayshun - FullMetall Alchemist: Brotherhood

AMV Dazzling Inferno

April

kylo ren || animal

FLESH || Yuri on Ice

Roman&Peter || Piece by piece

◼️ quentin&eliot; give me love

Hannibal/Will - Take Me Back

Kylo Ren // In The End

(Marvel) Avengers | The End

Thomas & Newt ✘ Could I have saved him?

Multifandom || Wake Up

The Avengers | The Final Curtain

(SW) Darth Vader | A Light In Darkness

loki laufeyson | saturn (+ragnarok)

Loki - Birthright

May

Infinity War | I Was Here 

Avengers: Infinity War

MARVEL || Bohemian Rhapsody

River, MARVEL. [2k]

The Expanse || A War Built On Lies

Avengers || Together

MARVEL || Lions Inside (collab w/ djcprod)

COMIC FILMS - Bohemian Rhapsody

Pixar: The Complete Supercut (2018)

Let Us Be Brave

👑black panther👑 

X-Men || Revolution (ft. Ruelle)

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

January:

Choir & Crickets | Jeff Russo

Black Lung Heartache | Joe Bonamassa

Undiscovered First | Feist

Tribe Society - Kings

MIX - MAURICE RAVEL Bolero

Never Give Up | Sia

Silvertongue | Young the Giant

Vikings Soundtrack

February

Sweet Dreams | Mark Hadley

A Hazy Shade of Winter | The Bangles

White Rabbit | Jefferson Starship

Stranger Things Theme | Kyle Dixon

Go To War | Nothing More

Does Your Heart Break | The Brilliance

Please Speak Well of Me | The Weepies

Smallest Light | Ingrid Michaelson

Flying | Cody Fry

My Friends | Oh Wonder

New Rules | Dua Lipa

Young As The Morning Old As the Sea | Passengers

Never Be The Same | Camila Cabello

Slow Down Love | Louis the Child

Come Together | Gary Clark Jr.

Don’t Think Twice | Utada Hikaru

Your Tongue Like The Sun In My Mouth | Sophie B. Hawkins

&Run | Sir Sly

Giver | K.Flay

Black Panther Soundtrack

March

Daddy Issues | The Neighbourhood

Whatever It Takes | Imagine Dragons

Carry Me Back To Her Arms | Jessica Curry

The Healing | Gary Clark Jr.

These Days | The Black Keys

No Roots | Alice Merton

Susanne Sundfør | The Golden Age

The Blue Whale | Steven Price

Everywhere' by J2

Sinners | Barns Courtney

Sam Tinnesz - Play With Fire (feat. Yacht Money)

Here | Junna

Robert DeLong - Favorite Color Is Blue (Lyric Video) ft. K.Flay

Steve James | Warrior

Hold My Liquor | Kanye West

Sweatpants | Childish Gambino

April

The Sailor Song | Autoheart

Steve James - Warrior (feat. LIGHTS)

Mother Mother - Reaper Man

Hello | Via Audio

Beyoncé | Back to Black

James Brown - It's A Man's Man's Man's World

Emeli Sande - Daddy

Nathan Angelo - Leigh

"In The End" Linkin Park Cinematic Cover (feat. Jung Youth & Fleurie)

May

Black Space/Stand By Me | Imagine Dragons

Dear God | Lawless

Sinners and Saints | Andrea Wasse

Ghost | Natasha Blume

Peter Gundry - Tales of the Night

Metal Gear Solid V Medley: Quiet's Theme / Sins of the Father | Freya Catherine

SOWULO - Yule

WOLVEN STORM ORCHESTRAL COVER (Witcher 3 - Priscilla's Song)

Amulet | Copal

Holding Out for a Hero | Nothing But Thieves

WRITTEN FIC

January:

N/A

February

Everybody's Looking For Something | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 4,790 words | On the third weekend of May during their last year at Hawkins High, Steve Harrington throws a party.Billy crashes it.

taste you on my tongue | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 2,290 words | “You’ve never felt pleasure like it, Steve,” an old girlfriend had told him once, her eyes bright with memory. Steve shrugged. “No vampires here, though.” 

March

Home | Star Wars | Reylo | 1,670 words | “Rey,” he says into the quiet. “Just drive.”

April

hits like a drum | Stargate Atlantis | Mcshep | 3,507 words | “Believe it or not, having something with sharp teeth breathing down your neck is not actually conducive to one’s thought process.” John barks out a loud, abrupt noise that might be laughter, his breath tickling the hairs at the base of Rodney’s neck. “I’d have thought it would be good motivation.”

feed the hunger | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 1,792 words | “Thought you wanted to fuck me, Hargrove,” Steve whispers, and presses a sweet kiss to the hinge of Billy's jaw. “Now's your chance.”

Apotheosis | Marvel - INFINITY WAR | Thor/Loki, Steve/Pepper/Tony | 4,450 words | Grief, a story told in three parts.

May

N/A

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

January

2018

February

We Could Be Heroes

Daddy Issues

March

N/A

April

Newmann 

May

danien: back in black

[riotdragonx]

Wasteland Waltz

OoO( 3 )OoO

Once off the mountain, traveling had become considerably easier. There was still the odd pothole and the occasional jagged rock, but the typically flat ground on the way to the city was much preferable, especially given all the new weight he had strapped to him. With the coolness that night brought, he made good time as he trekked across the sand and dust towards the dark walls of the supposed city in the wasteland. After about two hours of walking under the weight of all the weapons and equipment he had taken, he approached the front of the giant, walled city itself.

As he arrived, he noticed a campfire not far outside the entrance to the city. From where he was standing, he could easily see the silhouettes of several people sitting around the roaring flame. With Poison's words echoing in his head, he pulled one of the long-barreled, more accurate hunting rifles off his back and approached the minuscule camp with his head low.

As he ducked behind a jutting stone, he immediately sighted a large animal, made him go wide-eyed with awe. It had to have been somehow related to the pre-war cows. It was massive, even compared to its ancestors, and instead of one head, it had two that were split into a V shape coming off the neck. The other noticeable change to the creature was its blood red skin. No longer did it have the protective fur, but now just a thick, bare, red, withered hide.

Though curious about the creature, he refocused his attention and spied the three humans sitting by the fire. One was a rugged man, seemingly worn down by the wasteland with a machine gun across his back, armor covering him from head to toe, and a freshly shorn grey crew cut on his head. At the moment, he was focused on cooking whatever kind of meat he had speared on a skewer over the fire between them.

The second man was seemingly of a higher stature though. He was more finely dressed, had rounded bifocals on the bridge of his nose, a cleanly shaven head, and though his skin was slightly wrinkled, it was much less rugged and dirty. He seemed to be enjoying a loud, one sided conversation with the man who was cooking about a glorious new drug he had in stock. If John didn't know any better, he'd have thought the man was trying to sell said drug to the third man without asking directly.

The third of the trio was a more simple man. He sat in front of the fire, leaning back into a chair that was made of metal, but the configuration made it look like it was meant to fold and move easily. He however, was rigid in the chair, trying to become comfortable, and failing miserably. He had about the most normal clothing that he had seen on anyone yet, with a pair of trousers that had two pockets on the hips. He wore a dark colored t-shirt, with a sleeveless vest on top. And on his head, he wore a grey bandanna that ended on his forehead, just above the eye patch covering his right eye.

To John, it didn't look like they were grilling human. And aside from the armored one, it didn't look like any of them were even armed. Not to mention they didn't exactly hold the same air about them as the raiders from earlier. After listening to the conversation switch from this miracle drug, to the price of a new brahmin, then back to said drug, he finally resolved to approach them. Sliding the gun over his shoulder again, he still held the assault rifle in his hand, with one finger on the side of the trigger.

At a young age, when his father had repaired a mysterious BB gun for him, he had taught him the basic fundamentals of owning a firearm. Both the best, four step method of firing, and the safety precautions that must be exercised in both handling, and keeping the weapon. One of those precautions was to never have your finger wrapped around the trigger unless you were aiming to fire, lest the trigger misfire. According to his father and the history holotapes from school, one of the most bloody wars in American history had started with a weapon misfiring, leading a nation into war against thirteen small colonies that lasted eight years. The young man was careful with his weapons, and didn't intend to start any wars today.

Holding one hand up with his palm flat in a sign of greeting, with his assault weapon aimed at the ground, he slowly approached. Surprisingly, the man with the eye patch was the first to notice him approaching. "Looks like we got a visitor." said the man as he sat up straight. Then the one eye widened as he saw the jumpsuit that he wore. "A vault dweller? Well, that's a bit unexpected." he said curiously.

John looked at him oddly for the remark, but the young man immediately snapped out of it as the armored figure stood and reached to draw his weapon. The vault escapee immediately raised the gun before the other figure could pull his off his back. "Uh uh, don't touch it." he said, his voice lacking any indication that he was joking. "I've killed more people today than I care to remember, I don't want to start again." he snapped, already feeling his heart begin to pound again as it had before.

The armored man let go of the weapon, but glared at the boy. The pristine man stared at them both, and the eye-patched man leaned forward onto his knees, watching curiously. "Look kid, I've been marching this wasteland for forty years now. I'm not going to be intimidated by some snobby vault dweller with a silver spoon in his ass." said the man as he sneered. John just sighed in annoyance, then fired into the ground at the man's feet. The armored figure fell backwards at the sudden burst of rounds, landing firmly on his rear end.

"That's twice I've had to do that today..." he said as he walked over and stood over the man. "Four raiders are now dead because they tried taking me prisoner. Are you a raider? Because if you are, tell me now and I'll make this conversation a lot shorter." he commanded, raising the weapon to the armored figure's face.

"Now now, I don't think that will be necessary." said the eye-patched man as he walked up next to John with his arms raised. "He's no raider, he's just the guard for Doc Hoff here's caravan. And he doesn't like surprises. Don't worry, he won't do anything hasty." he said, turning his head and staring at the man on the ground. "Right?"

The man said nothing, but nodded. John lowered the gun to the ground again, allowing the strap around his shoulder to take the weight as he turned to the man next to him. "And you are?"

"My name is Billy, Billy Creel. That over there is Doc Hoff..." he said, nodding towards the well kept man. "This is George. Guard for hire, protects caravans and whatnot. Don't let his attitude get to you. He treats everyone who doesn't pay him like that." he said. "And you are?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow curiously at the vault dweller.

"John Ronas, I just left the vault earlier today and was attacked in my sleep by raiders in the small town over there." he said, thumbing towards Springvale. He looked over at George and nodded his head in apology. "Sorry for my itchy trigger finger. I've had no less than ten people try and kill me today, so I'm a bit on edge." he said in a friendly tone.

George regarded him for a moment, then stood again and dusted himself off. "After fighting raiders, I'd be pretty ornery too. No harm no foul." he said, returning to cooking meat by the fire.

"And thank you, it's good to finally meet someone out here with a friendly face." he said to Billy, the relief in his voice very noticeable.

Billy looked at him curiously as he shook the young man's hand. "You said you took out a group of raiders in Springvale?" his voice a mix of disbelief and

John nodded as he took a seat next to Billy's chair. "Yeah, I was asleep in one of the houses. I already had an ordeal getting out of the vault, and didn't know what was what up here, so I thought I'd sleep out the night. But, while I was napping, they swooped in and took me hostage. I killed all but one of them, and sent the last one running off into the night." he said as he dug through the survival pack he had taken from one of the raiders. Inside, he had stashed his important stuff, the lunchbox, the waters he had taken from the vault, rations left behind by Poison, and anything else he deemed important.

"That's a pretty big accomplishment for someone fresh in the wasteland." said Billy as he eyed the water. He was stunned at how clean it looked. "Is that purified water?" John nodded, offering the bottle to the man. Billy reeled for a second, then reached forward and took the thick plastic bottle. "You sure about this?"

John looked at him oddly. "You act like I just handed you a wad of money."

"I mean, you kinda did. To get water like this out here, you've gotta shell out some serious caps." said Billy as he continued holding the bottle out, as if giving the young man a chance to take it back.

But the young gunman just stared at Billy blankly. Doc Hoff spoke up for the man instead. "Caps, you know...money? Currency? Quid?" he asked, slightly surprised at the blank expression.

"He just got out of the vault Doc, he probably doesn't even know what we're talking about." said Billy, before he turned back to the vault dweller. "Since the bombs fell, bottle caps have become the wasteland currency. Don't ask how or why, but that's how it is. So if someone asks you for caps, they're essentially asking you for money." he explained, pleased with himself when John's face lit up like a bulb.

A look of enlightenment dawned on John's face, then he pulled out the lunchbox and opened it in front of them. "Like these?" he asked, showing the mass of bottle caps. Billy's one eye widened as he saw the sheer amount that the new wastelander held.

"Holy shit kid...that's gotta be at least a thousand caps you got." He reached up and pulled the bandanna off his head, using it to wipe away a small amount of sweat that had dotted his brow. "If you've been in the vault your whole life, how'd you manage to collect those?"

The young man sighed and shrugged. "My father left them for a friend, who was killed before I left. I don't think he intended for me to follow him out, but shit happens." he said, taking a swig of the lukewarm, but radiation free water. "In any case, is there a place in the city I can stay for a while? I'm looking for my father and intend to be here until I find out where he went off to."

Billy nodded. "There are a few options actually. There's the common house, which is a large building on top of the hill that houses most of the wastelanders who just wander into town. If you wanna keep your stuff safe in there though, you'll have to take it with you. Then there's Moriarty's Saloon. He's gonna cost a few caps, but he has rooms, food, and privacy. And last, if you track down Lucas, the sheriff, he's got a property that's for sale. But I don't know if you've got enough for that." he picked the gifted water bottle up and slid it into his pocket. "I can give you a tour if you like."

"That, would be amazingly helpful." said John as he stood again, collected all of his gear, then followed the eye-patched man through the grating gates of the city. His eyes locked onto the robot outside.

"Howdy…pardner! Welcome...to...Megaton!" said the RobCo Protectron model as he and Billy approached the inner doors. John grinned widely at the automaton, with its cowboy hat and cheery greeting.

"I'll have to check that out later." he said to himself, his excitement already mounting. He remembered back to when he was younger, how he'd hunt Andy down through the vault and deactivate him, only to take him apart and put him back together. He'd had an interest in robots and artificial intelligence for a long time, but only had one specimen that he could actually take apart. Nobody really questioned why in ten years, Andy had never needed any repairs.

And any time they had discussions about robotics in class, there had never been anyone remotely as attentive as him. It was really the only time in class that his hand was up constantly, both for asking questions and answering them. The protectron model at the door was now a new specimen, something he strove to understand. But that was for another time. Right now, his eyes were scanning the city around him as he finally entered the giant doors.

The entire city was surrounded by walls and more walls of metal that rose up high above the center of the city, making it look like they were inside a metallic volcano. The shops and houses, unlike the vault, were all mostly rickety buildings with walls made of sheet metal, or some other flimsy material that was just as readily available. They were all built into the hill that sloped up towards the giant metal walls, leaving a slight stair pattern to the buildings that were stacked on top of each other. And nearly everything inside the city was connected by a string of walkways that criss-crossed around the large crater.

John was awed at the sight of the structures built into the side of the large crater that the city was built inside. He was amazed that anything within the walls of the large crater was standing with how rickety things looked. But you really couldn't judge a book by its cover. On top of that, he had come from a vault, where everything built was done so to last potentially millennia. So he knew that he wasn't any expert on architecture.

He scanned around the city a bit more before his gaze locked onto the large bomb planted directly in the center of the crater itself. His eyes widened as he realized what it was, two words echoing in his head. Fat Man. He stopped dead in his tracks, a look of disbelief on his face as he saw the undetonated ordnance sitting in a pond as if it were some kind of massive bird, taking a bath.

Billy stopped, then turned to look at him. "You like our centerpiece?" he asked with a chuckle. "No need to worry friend, that things been there for years. It's not going off any time soon. Now let me show you the Brass Lantern." he said and pulled John with him by the elbow.

OoOoO

It had taken a couple of hours to introduce John to every long term citizen of Megaton. He liked the grand majority of them, aside from Jericho who introduced himself by saying that a kid that'll be dead in less than a week wasn't worth getting to know. Bookmarking that statement in his mind, he just grinned and moved on. Then there was Nathan…

Nathan Vargas was a patriot, to say the least. They had run into him on one of the catwalks as he was heading home from the saloon, when the older man spotted the round orb-like machine hanging from John's ruck. Before Billy could even introduce the pair, he went off on a tirade. "Dadgummit! Another scrapper stealing precious materials from the United States government! It's treason I say! You should be ashamed of yourself!" snapped the angry elder.

John just stared at him dumbly, not saying a word as Billy stepped up for him. "I think what Mister Vargas here is trying to say, is that your droid down their belonged to the Enclave. What he forgets to mention however, is that the Enclave hasn't been seen for decades." said Billy as he eyed Nathan sternly.

Nathan looked like he was about to retort when John spoke up for himself. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't do anything to it. I was attacked by raiders in the town to the west when this thing flew by and spooked them. I'm actually planning on repairing it for helping save me." said John as he held up the bot so that both of the men could see the gaping hole where the speaker used to be.

"Oh!" said Nathan in surprise as he grinned. "You, young man, are a true American! You know, back when I was your age…" started the elder again, this time in a much kinder tone. But Billy cut him off, giving the man a pat on the back as well as he pushed him along the walkway.

"That's nice Mister Vargas. Tell Manya I said hello." said Billy as he waved at the old man.

Nathan glared at Billy before walking off. "Kids these days! No patience!" he snapped before finally leaving the pair to themselves. Billy just turned to John and shook his head, and amused grin plastered on his face.

"Shall we continue?" he asked as he turned towards the path down to the center of the city when a man in a long duster and a cowboy hat himself turned and headed up towards them. Billy immediately raised an arm in greeting. "Sheriff Simms! We were just coming to have a chat with you!" said the eye-patched man as John watched the man approach. He had dark skin, much darker than he'd seen in the vault, and a short beard to fit the cowboy visage he had going.

"And who might this be?" asked the man as he eyed Billy. "Another wastelander?" But he halted the question when he recognized the blue jumpsuit he was wearing, and also noticed that it was stained with crimson.

"A new friend from Vault 101 actually. Turns out this young man came out of the vault and immediately wiped out one of the gangs rummaging through Springvale." said Billy as he leaned against the wall of the now closed restaurant Billy had called the Brass Lantern. "By the way Lucas, this is John. John, this is Sheriff Lucas Simms."

"Good to meet you Sheriff." greeted John as he held out his hand.

Simms looked at his hand, then back up at the young man's face, as if trying to read him. Finally, he took his hand and shook it. "Good to meet you too John." he said, locking his eyes onto the vault dweller's own. "He said you took a gang out over in Springvale, is that true?" John nodded. "Glad to hear it. Our eagle-eye has had to send them packing a few times. But that leaves us at an impasse."

"How do you figure?" asked John, who was currently not a fan of the sheriff's tone.

"Because, that either makes you a friend, or an enemy. And I'd like to get those details out of the way right now." he said. His voice was not hostile by any means, but also was he not friendly. More of a cold observer than anything else.

"And how does killing raiders make me your enemy?" he asked, his arms crossed and an annoyed look on his face. Not even a single night in the town and he had already been interrogated twice.

Lucas smiled grimly. "Because, raiders kill other raiders too. That doesn't make them my friends." responded the Sheriff as he crossed his arms in response. "And if you took out their whole group, it means that you know how to kill pretty damn good. So, given that I have a lot of innocent people here to protect, I need to know now what kind of person you are."

Never losing his annoyed look, John retorted, "I'm not the kind to start randomly firing at strangers if that's what you're implying. Everything I have I either took from those raiders or brought with me."

Lucas stared at John for a long moment before Billy spoke up. "I'm gonna have to vouch for him myself. When he walked up to us outside, he had his weapon ready. If he was going to kill us and steal our stuff, he had plenty of opportunity."

The sheriff smiled as he turned to John again. "Well then, it's good to have you here. Keep doing work like you're doing, and we'll be friends in no time." he said as tipped his cowboy style hat in a small gesture of thanks. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other matters to attend to."

"Sheriff..." said the vault dweller nervously. Lucas turned to him, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. "I was wondering, early this morning, my father left the vault as well. I don't know if he came this way, but I was wondering if you had seen another wearing one of these pass through here." he inquired as he tapped the breast of his jumpsuit.

"I'm afraid not son. A lot of people come through here on a daily basis. Some stay, some go. But not all of them I get to meet. However, if you're going to ask around, I can save you some time by telling you to head to Moriarty's Saloon up on the upper levels. If your dad needed any information, he'd have stopped by there." he said. Then he patted the vault dweller on the shoulder and walked off into the darkness.

"He's right. If your dad came by looking for information, then he'd be directed there. And if I were stuffed in a vault for as long as him, that's the first thing I'd be looking for out here." said Billy as he patted John on the back. "Thanks again for the water. Hope you find what you're looking for."

John nodded with a smile, running his hand through his brown hair that tended to naturally spike backwards. "No problem. You'll have to introduce me to Maggie one day. It's a shame she was already asleep" he said. Billy nodded, then the two went their separate ways. John climbed the walkways once more until he reached the familiar saloon, then opened the door and went inside.

"Hello again sugar." greeted the female who sat beside the bar. He looked at her and smiled, not used to being stared at by women the way she was. Amata had always looked at him with tender caringness. Nova, however, smiled back with a very vixen like grin, one he wasn't too familiar with the meaning of.

The man behind the bar, if he could be called that, was named Gob. He stood taller than John by almost half a foot, but was shorter on account of his massive slouch. His skin was...gone. Or, mostly gone. Some places showed nothing but the facial muscles underneath, while other spots had patches of skin that looked as if they were slowly peeling off. The only sign of hair he had was a small tuft that grew from an even smaller patch of skin left on his ravaged scalp.

Despite his grisly appearance, his eyes told a story of friendliness, of sorrow, and of someone who didn't deserve his situation. "What'll it be?" asked Gob in a friendly enough tone. Before being introduced to him, Billy had warned John ahead of time about ghouls. The young man had to say he was thankful, as without warning, he would have likely run terrified out of the saloon.

"Is Moriarty available? I have some questions for him." he asked, drumming his fingers on the counter. He didn't realize how nervous he was that his father might not have come to this saloon, or town at all.

"Sorry hun, but he's out like a light for tonight. If you'd like, you can get a room and talk to him in the morning." said the red-headed woman, her voice rather suggestive as a coy smile played across her face.

He sighed heavily, the knot in his stomach clenching unbearably. "Alright...if that's all I can do. How much is it for a room?" he asked, pulling his ruck up onto one of the stools. Immediately, he noticed that nearly every eye in the room, aside from Gob's, who were on him, and Nova's, whose were "on him" were aimed at the stuffed pack.

Gob, who was in the middle of recapping a beer bottle, looked up at the young man. "It's usually 120 caps per night. But I'll tell you what. You seem like a nice kid, and you didn't gasp in horror the first time you saw me, I'll give you a discount. Just don't go telling Moriarty about it." he said quietly to John in his gravelly voice.

John smiled slightly, nervously aware of the people staring at his supplies. "That'd be great. Thanks." he whispered to Gob. Rummaging through his bag, he cracked the lunchbox and pulled out their agreed upon price, keeping the box inside to make sure that nobody knew exactly how much money he had. After paying the ghoul across the counter, he shouldered his gear and went to the room which the bartender had pointed out.

After closing the door behind himself, he placed the large pack, along with all the guns he had acquired on the opposite side of the bed from the door. Billy had been very kind to him, but had warned him ahead of time that things outside the vault worked very different. Instead of working together to make a better whole, most of the people in the wasteland found it easier to just steal and kill. So, with a certain paranoia surrounding him, he made sure that all of his firearms were within reach should anyone try to sneak in at night. Laying them all along the wall and within easy grasping distance, he took the drone off his bag and sat heavily on the bed, eyeing the small robot.

He'd never made an alteration to a robot like he was planning for this one. To make it work, he'd have to shift some parts around and redistribute some of the weight so that it didn't fall face first every time it lifted off. On top of that, if he did have to add extra weight to counterbalance the new face, then that would require him to increase the output to the stabilizing jet that allowed it to float. Otherwise, it wouldn't even be able to lift off.

As all the numbers ran through his head, the door behind him creaked open again. Immediately, he grabbed one of the pistols close by and aimed at at the door. But Nova raised her hands defensively, making him lower the weapon. "Easy cowboy." she said with a friendly smile. He set the gun down and and instead continued staring at the robot in his hands.

"Can I help you with something?" Despite trying to focus on the bullet hole, he couldn't help his eyes slipping back towards her. She had an unkempt mop of ginger hair, that despite its mussed appearance, worked well with how she dressed. Her clothes had smacked him in the face as soon as he entered the tavern. Back in the vault, the women never dressed provocatively like she was now. The only thing he had ever seen that could compare was a magazine that Butch had showed off to his buddies.

Her shirt was cut short, leaving her flat stomach exposed to the world. And while she was fully covered, it didn't leave much to the imagination as far as her bust went. The fabric was tight, and low cut enough that anytime she bent forward, the cleavage of her large bosom pressed against the edges and bulged further, giving onlookers a clear shot of her goods. The sleeves of the shirt were the only thing that wasn't tight about it, each one billowed and draping off her arms like she was a smoke dancer. And the only thing that she wore below the belt was a tiny pair of jean shorts that exposed her miles of legs, wide hips, and firm behind. Realizing that he'd been staring longer than he should have, he finally looked back at the robot.

The woman walked forward slowly and sat with him on the bed, eyeing the curious machine with him. "I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry for everything that's happened to you so far. I know that today has been probably the most chaotic day of your life." she said sympathetically. Despite his surprise that anyone out here could give a damn about another person, he kept a straight face.

"That's putting it lightly. Before today, the most exciting thing to ever happen to me was when I got into a fist fight with a group of gangers who wouldn't leave Amata alone." he said, chuckling as he realized how much he longed for another brawl with that idiot Butch.

"And Amata is?" she asked curiously, scooting closer to the young man. At her question, he seemed to sink deep in thought, making him oblivious to her movements.

"The Overseer's daughter. She was my best friend." he said, rubbing his forehead lightly with one hand. Remembering her face, and Butch's stupid grin made him feel an immediate wave of homesickness. Not for the vault per se, but for his friends. Even the leader of the Tunnel Snakes had loosened up as they got older, allowing for a lasting peace between all of them.

"Was she your girlfriend?" Nova asked as she propped herself up behind him and began to rub his bare shoulders, her hands appreciating every inch of his musculature that they could.

"Girlfriend? Like, were we going steady?" he asked for clarification. The woman, hearing the very archaic terminology just laughed and nodded. He stared at the floor silently as he recalled their parting at the gate. "She was..." he said, his face now a grim look of ire. Despite his annoyance, he began groaning in pleasure as she found a sore spot and worked out the tiredness.

Not stopping her gentle application of pressure, she eyed him curiously, the statement giving her the go ahead to reach in front of him and gently begin to unzip the jumpsuit that he wore. "Was?" she asked for clarification, grinning at the fact that he wasn't stopping her.

"We...parted at the door." he said in a tone that suggested he was tired of the subject.

"Shame." was all she said in response as she pulled the top of the jumpsuit off him, then wrapped her arms around his pale torso, her small hands sliding gently up his shirt to feel his bare skin. She then leaned her head against his shoulder, breathing down his neck and sending goosebumps all over his skin. It wasn't long before he was leaning back into her as well, his hands sliding along her bare legs that were on either side of him. "Want me to stay the night with you? Keep your mind off your crazy day?" she asked seductively into his ear.

He opened his eyes, knowing what she was really asking. Despite his urge to suppress the memory, her face popped up in his head again. He stared at Amata in his mind as if she were right in front of him, and she stared at him. This time, he pulled away. "Yeah...I think I'd like that."

[bards-witcher]

I couldn’t leave you all hanging after the last one so here you go. It’ll probably be a few days before I post the next part as I’m pretty sure my body is screaming at me to take a break XD

As always hope you enjoy :D

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

It’s just before sunrise when he leaves the roof, not having heard a single thing except the birds in the trees and the occasional car. Once again he manoeuvred his way through the streets, not even thinking about where he was going, instead trusting that his legs would take him where he needed to be.

After Luke had vanished and the cold stone of the roof had made his legs numb he returned to his bag, hugging it tight to try and derive any sort of comfort as he forced himself to relive the worst moment of his life. No matter how many times he played it through, no matter how painful it was he could only see one thing and it involved blood splattered glass and the man who was larger than life crumple to the floor.

He’s not sure what ‘Luke’ had meant last night, or why his mind was suddenly creating cryptic messages, the sound of a car horn brought him back to attention though. He went to gesture a sorry to the driver when he noticed who it was, Marcel and Scotty. As with Tyler they simply stared at each, as if trying to feel the other out, when in a split-second Ryan made a dash for it, hopping over a parked car as he darted down the pavement.

He could hear the car following behind him as he dipped through an alley, emerging and taking off in the other direction as they passed by him. He heard them turning, not looking back he kept sprinting as he made his way to the local park. He could hear gunfire behind him, quickly ducking his head in an attempt to shield it but not slowing down.

When he reached the park, the front gate was locked, being before dawn meant that it was closed to keep people out during the night. He leapt as he got close to the gate, making it about halfway up before climbing the rest. A brief look behind him showed that another car had joined Marcel and Scotty’s, it was in front of theirs and he could see Marcel hanging out the passenger window and shooting at it.

He didn’t have time to question why as he saw a gun emerge from the other car that was aimed towards him. He barely managed to scramble and fall to the other side of the gate before shots were being fired. He turned left, heading towards the small amount of tree cover as the first car crashed through the gate, swiftly followed by Scotty and Marcel. They managed to steer the front of their car into the others rear end, turning the car away from him. He didn’t look much longer; the sounds of gunfire tore through the quiet of morning as he climbed over the fence surrounding the park before he carried on running.

He came across a subway station, jumping over the railing and just about managing to land on the stairs before finishing the descent. He walked through the opened gate, sitting down on the nearest bench as he caught his breath.

If he didn’t know any better he’d say that Scotty and Marcel had saved him from who he assumed were a couple of goons from G’s gang sent to kill him. Yes, they’d saved him, but they had found him first, probably eager instead to get rid of the competition before taking him down. It was eerily quiet in the station, almost too quiet for his liking but he strangely felt at ease, he didn’t feel that twinge of dread he normally did when danger was around.

It wasn’t long before a train pulled up, he didn’t know where it went, hell he didn’t even know where he was going, he just collapsed into the nearest chair and felt all the energy drain out of him. He closed his eyes for a moment, just enjoying the peace at that moment, the gentle swaying of the carriage almost sending him to sleep before he heard a voice beside him that sent ice through his veins.

“So, figure it out yet?”

Ryan opened his eyes to see ‘Luke’ sitting casually beside him, a playful smile on his face.

“I’m really not in the mood for this right now so can you just say what you’re gonna say and go, I’ve got enough shit to deal with right now” He turned to face the man beside him noticing how his face turned into a playful pout.

“I thought you liked talkin’ to me” Ryan couldn’t help but scoff, yes he did like talking with Luke, but this Luke was nothing more than a poor carbon copy compared to the real thing. “How about I give you another hint then?”

As sarcastically as he could he replied “Go on then”

“Mind over body”

Ryan’s brows furrowed in confusion, he turned to ask ‘Luke’ what the hell he was talking about, but he was gone. Ryan stared in the space he had been sitting not a second ago before he rubbed his eyes in an attempt to clear his mind.

He got off the train at the next stop, he could see the sky starting to lighten up as he left the station on what looked to be the other side of town, a quick glance around him showed that apart from the odd early morning commuter, he was alone.

He carried on walking till he reached the edge of town, ducking under the nearby bridge to try and get what little sleep he could.

He was standing over the rooftops watching the sunset, although he was more out in the open up here, not many had the skills to get up and manoeuvre across the uneven roofs where he now stood. In the distance, he could barely make out the small warehouse where he used to live, where he knew the members of BBS would be in. He wished he could go to them, yes they were a gang, but they were also his friends, his friends who he missed a bit more each day, the only people to know what Luke’s’ death truly meant to him.

He kept watch of it until it faded into shadow at the dying sun, and even then he still watched, wondering if he’d ever return there.

He sat on the edge of the roof, legs dangling over the edge as he thought back to Lukes’ words, still having no idea what was meant by mind over body. Just as he thought it, he felt a presence beside him, and sure enough, a cold hand clasped over his own.

“It’s pretty up here ain’t it?”

Ryan simply hummed, still looking out at the hub of life before him, watching the lights start to light up the town.

“You’re so smart you know that?” Ryan could only turn to ‘Luke’ in confusion, wondering where the hell that had come from. “When you were working for G I had some of the guys tailing you for weeks and you never knew. Now though, you always know when something ain’t quite right and it’s because of that wonderful, beautiful mind you got”

Ryan wasn’t too sure how to answer that, could only keep staring at the man in front of him, waiting for him to continue. They kept staring at each other, ‘Luke’ appeared to be waiting for him to say something and when nothing came he sighed, grabbing one of Ryans’ legs and lifting it over the edge so that they were facing one another and straddling the edge.

Cold hands clasped his face and as much as he wanted to pull away, to push the other man away and tell him never to come back he simply couldn’t, Luke had always been his weakness and he decided this time he would indulge.

“When you were with G you had no control of your body right, only your mind” Ryan simply nodded, closing his eyes as he let himself be comforted by the thumbs now rubbing his cheeks. “Well your eyes are a part of your body aren’t they, meanin’ maybe they were somewhat obscured.”

Ryan opened his eyes at this, staring into Lukes dark brown eyes as he thought over those last few words.

“But your mind saw everythin’, even if you don’t remember, you just need to think”

Thoughts were passing through his mind a mile a minute, but no matter how hard he tried to imagine something else happen, he only saw Lukes’ death.

“How ‘bout this then, you didn’t seem surprised when I said I had guys tailing you for weeks, that’s because deep down you knew. Your mind will remember, you just need to think Ryan”

Ryan closed his eyes again, thinking through some of the last few memories he had of when he was little more than a machine.

He remembered entering a warehouse where they were going to be given weapons for a raid on another gang. At first, he saw nothing, simply replaying the same scene over and over again, however, despite seeing nothing new he couldn’t help but feel a small niggle in his mind that something should be there. It was the next time he replayed the scene that his eye caught sight of a figure across the street as he entered the warehouse, it was Kryoz, hood up in the shadows as he watched Ryan slip through the door.

Then the scenery changed, he was with the two henchmen who he’d killed a couple days prior, they were supposed to get some money from a guy who owed them, a man who one of the henchmen later killed because he couldn’t cough up the money. They’d met him at some run-down bar where they later paid the manager to take the guy out back to deal with. As before, the scene played over in his mind, he tried to see some of the patrons, but their faces just seemed to blur and merge together, and no matter how hard he thought the scene wouldn’t change.

‘Luke’ seemed to sense his distress, moving his hands to his shoulders and giving them a gentle squeeze, their coolness sending a shiver down Ryan’s spine.

The scene started again, he walked in and looked to the left, except this time he saw Brock and Brian sitting at a booth, drinks in hand whilst their heads were low in deep discussion. When he looked to the bar he saw Tyler sitting there, hunched over as he nursed his drink. As the scenario played out, he noticed Tyler cast his eyes on him every now and then, watching him. Finally, as they dragged the guy through the back door he looked back, seeing Brian somewhat restrain Tyler in the corner of his eye until he passed through the door.

Next, he was back on the rooftop, gun in hand as he waited for Lukes’ car to pull up. The scene plays out, he remembers trying to fight tooth and nail to knock his aim but still, the bullet was shot, and Luke collapsed.

He’s not sure how many times the scene played out, doesn’t even know he’d started crying until Lukes’ cold hand returned to his face, thumbs wiping them away. The next thing he felt cold lips touch his forehead “You can do this Ry, you’re almost there” he then felt ‘Luke’ pull him close, almost as if he was acting like his shield before once again the scene started.

He was fighting just as aggressively before, but he still feels his finger pull the trigger, watches the bullet chase its target. Only this time there seemed to be a delay, he saw the bullet break through the window, but it was a split second later he saw blood, and before he turned away he swears he sees Lukes’ hand twitch, almost as if he quickly grabbed something that was on the floor beside him.

Ryan quickly opened his eyes, taking in a deep breath as if it’s his first one in weeks, his heart pumping a mile a minute in his chest. He notices that ‘Luke’ is no longer in front of him, instead, he was standing a bit further along the roof, smiling softly at Ryan.

Ryan hopped off of the edge and ran towards ‘Luke’ almost bouncing from excitement, he was breathless, the sudden realisation that somehow Luke was alive being all he could comprehend.

“You’re alive, no, Luke’s alive, he faked his death didn’t he”

“You did good, also helped that you missed your shot”

“What?” He’d expected some sage advice his mind could conjure up, not some sort of insult.

Luke simply smiled at him, raising his hands to once again cup Ryans’ face. “For the first time in your life you missed, and I couldn’t be happier or more proud about it”

Ryan could only stare at the man before him, confused about the entire situation until he truly felt the hands on his face, felt their warmth seep into his skin and drive away the cold that had made its home there. He kept staring into Lukes’ eyes as he raised his hands to grasp Lukes’ wrists, they were warm and more importantly he felt a pulse, it was strong against his fingertips, leaving little doubt about the man that was in front of him.

“Luke?” His voice cracked, hating how he sounded like a lost little child as he once again felt tears start to fall down his face.

Luke gave him a soft smile, he noticed the tears falling down his face as the grip on his face got tighter as if Luke couldn’t believe he was there either.

“Hey Ry”

They crashed together, arms curling tight around the other as if no force on earth could tear them apart, faces pressed into the other's neck as tears streamed down their faces. All they could do was hold onto each other, the thought running through both their heads that they were safe and they were home.

[ulyssessklein]

Dave Mason on the Rock ‘n Soul Review with Steve Cropper

By: Rick Landers

Dave Mason – Photo courtesy of Dawn Studios

Armed with a talent for creating an eclectic array of songs, with clever twists, beautiful melodic riffs, butter smooth vocals, the legendary singer-songwriter, Dave Mason, has gifted us with such memorable tracks that include: “Feeling Alright”, “Only You Know and I Know”, “Hole in My Shoe”, “So High (Rock Me Baby and Roll Me Away)” and many more.

Mason has toured the world for over fifty years, beginning with his time as a member of the acclaimed British jazz-blues-rock-pop fusion group, Traffic and later as a solo act. Not that he was a loner.

No, Dave’s worked alongside other rock icons like Jimi Hendrix,  Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Michael Jackson, Leon Russell, the Rolling Stones, Fleetwood Mac and a host of other majors in the pantheon of modern music.

Listen to the opening acoustic riffs on Jimi’s “All Along the Watchtower” or the vocals of the Hendrix classic, “Crosstown Traffic” and Dave’s made his mark. Be reminded that Mason had a turn managing The Spencer Davis Group, then later running solo, he had his 1977 hit, “We Just Disagree” a staple of the classic rock airwaves with it’s honey soaked vocal and poetically aching lyrics. And let’s not reduce the album, Let It Flow, to just that single, the album is a masterpiece. And, yes, Dave’s got his well deserved place as an inductee in the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame. There’s more, like his work with the Stones on Beggars Banquet and George Harrison’s prolific All Things Must Pass solo pursuit.

Music runs in his veins, yet when asked about his love of rock ‘n roll, he merely claims to be a “working musician”.  And on his latest venture, the Rock and Soul Revue Tour with the legendary Stax session man and stellar song-writer, Steve Cropper, Mason deflects praise directed his way to his friend Steve.

Steve Cropper’s and Dave Mason’s Rock and Soul Revue has kickstarted and will roam America for months. We can expect to hear many of the hit songs that they’ve appeared on, like “Green Onions”, “Dear Mr. Fantasy”, “All Along the Watchtower”, “We Just Disagree”, “Feeling Alright”, “Sitting on the Dock of a Bay”, “Soul Man” and many more that have been a part of their storied musical careers. The term legend floats around easily these days, but in fact. Steve Cropper and Dave Mason are the true grit that’s fundamental to the word – legends, indeed. The Rock and Soul Tour is one not to miss…

Steve Cropper and Dave Mason Rock & Soul Review Tour 2018

TICKETS ON SALE HERE

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Rick Landers: Songwriting has changed over the years due to technology. When lyrics or melodies popped into your head decades ago, how did the challenges of keeping them for later differ from today?

Dave Mason: Well, I ‘d use cassettes. I didn’t start writing until ’67. If the song was worth a shit, then I’d just remember it, but otherwise, for the most part, I’d just use a cassette.

Rick: I recently saw a photo of you playing a sitar. How’d that come about and were you influenced by Ravi Shankar, George Harrison, Shawn Philips or some other players? And, what other instruments are you comfortable playing?

Dave Mason: Back in the Sixties…I’m English for one thing and we had a lot of Indian restaurants where I grew up. So, I was familiar with the Eastern music and then the Sixties started to make its way into Western music . And I was listening to all kinds of stuff back then; Bulgarian music, Eastern, classical, jazz, rock, blues, whatever. It was interesting and, actually,

George Harrison gave me my first sitar. I used it on a couple of Traffic’s things. I used it on the first song I ever wrote, Traffic’s first big hit called, “Hole in My Shoe” and I used it on “Paper Sun”. I actually did a couple of tracks with Hendrix where I used it, I played bass, but I have no idea what happened to those things. I played around with it. I haven’t used it in years.

Rick: You played on Electric Ladyland? 

Dave Mason: Yes, I played on Electric Ladyland, played on “All along the Watchtower” sang on “Crosstown Traffic” and just some tracks that Jimi and I just cut together. We did complete tracks, drums, whatever. But, but I don’t know what happened to them.

Rick: Going back in time, I suppose you were inspired by Scotty Moore, Eddie Cochran, Johnny Burnette, Grady Martin nd Chuck Berry. But, it seems that a lot of British players wore out records of B.B. King, Muddy Waters and other blues players too.

Dave Mason: My stuff originally? I listened to The Shadows, with Hank Marvin, The Ventures, then got more into things and started to listen more, Wes Montgomery, George Benson, Kenny Burrell, all the Kings, Albert, BB, Otis Rush, Elmore James, all that stuff. 

Rick: How’d Traffic come together?

Dave Mason: Jim (Capaldi) and I had bands together, the Deep Feeling and The Hellions. We cut a record with The Hellions, didn’t do anything. And then we met up with Winwood and Chris Wood in Birmingham, in a place called The Algorithm, an after hours club. We all sort of just hung out when we could. We had pretty diversified tastes. We were all pretty much listening to a lot of the same stuff.

You know, when people talk about the British Invasion? The British Invasion is an American story. It’s not a British story, without America and the music coming from here, there would be no Eric Clapton or any of us, frankly. That’s what we did, we learned from all the American music. It all goes back to the early stuff, Alexis Korner and earlier and Long John Baldry, Bryan Auger, John Mayall. There was the blues influence and the hits. A lot of the stuff was covers of American hits.

Rick: Yeah, even The Beatles and the Stones did American covers.

Dave Mason: Yeah, we learned from here. So, obviously for me, to be able to do this after all these years with Steve Cropper is a huge thing for me. Because, that shit we were listening to back when I was 16, 17 and 18 years old. What’s interesting to me in doing this with Steve is to find out how few people know who the hell he is, let alone Booker T. and the MGs did, and the records those people played on is just ridiculous, and then of course the songs Steve co-wrote.

To me, it’s like “Wow!” I didn’t realize it that nobody really know who the hell this guy is, it’s amazing. That they did that whole HBO Special on the Muscle Shoals guys, Hawkins (Roger Hawkins) and all those guys, and I don’t understand why they didn’t do one of those things on Booker T. and the MGs. And what they did, it’s ridiculous.

Rick: I saw Booker T. and the MGs and Cobo Hall in Detroit with Creedence and Wilbert Harrison. I was floored how good they were and they got a standing ovation.

Dave Mason: Yeah, well I saw them in ’67, at the time they were backing Otis Redding. I mean, take the entire Stax record collection and they were backing everybody!

Rick: What was your first impression of Jimi Hendrix and what was he like as a collaborator?

Dave Mason: I just got to know him and I got to hang out with him a lot and I got to go to the studio with him and record, We both heard John Wesley Harding together, and something caught his interest on “Watchtower”.

I found myself in the studio with him and Mitch Mitchell, got the track down. Otherwise, I mean, just hanging out with Jimi, he was a pretty quiet guy, soft spoken. In the studio he was all business. The thing about him, and there are a lot of great guitar players, a lot of them, but there are no more Jimi Hendrix’s. I mean the guy was just so innovative.

  Dave Mason – Photo by Chris Jensen

Rick: You were with the Island label early, with many of the British folk artists of the time, John Martyn, Nick Drake, and I think the Incredible String Band. Did you know them well?

Dave Mason: I don’t really know them. I never worked with them. One person I used to listened to was Davey Graham.

Rick: Yeah, Graham was amazing, loved his “Angie”. Traffic was such a cool group with some jazz-blues grooves. How did you guys click?

Dave Mason: I have a pop sensibility, but we all pretty much liked the same kinds of music, more or less. And Traffic, I guess, was one of the first alternative bands, basically.

Rick: Yeah, your music was different. You’ve got “Feeling Alright” that’s got kind of  Motown and Stax sounds that could have easily been covered by the Four Tops or the Temptations.

Dave Mason: Well, I think it may have been. [Laughs] Over fifty major artists have covered it.

Rick: You’ll soon be on the road with Steve Cropper. How’d your Rock and Soul Revue tour come about and how’d you meet Steve? 

Dave Mason: I was in Nashville a year ago and we had lunch with a mutual friend and kind of threw some things around. Kind of doing something and then last New Years, I have a house in Maui and Shep Gordon does a benefit thing every New Years and everybody goes there, like Mick Fleetwood and whatever musicians are around.

Steve came over and we started talking about it. That’s basically how it came together. Three weeks ago we rehearsed for the first time. It’s the first time we played together, rehearsing this show at a friend’s ranch in North Carolina, in the northern corner.

Rick: That’s bluegrass country.

Dave Mason: [Laughs] Yeah! And I’ve been doing gigs, besides when I was with Traffic, since I was 22 years old, and now I’m 72. So, I thought it would be fun to do it now, something different and turn people on to who the hell Steve Cropper is and the songs, his “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay”, “Soul Man:, “In the Midnight Hour”, I mean, c’mon! 

Rick: Have you guys come up with a structured set list or are you going wing it, some of it? Or half you, then half Steve, then mix it up?

Dave Mason: No, no, no… we’re not going to wing it. There’s a set list. We’re playing on stage together and there are songs of mine that he’s not on and songs that’s he’s doing, like “Green Onions” and two or three other things that I’m not playing on, because I think me playing some of the guitar parts, I’d be getting in the way, keep to the original.

I’ve got great musicians, great players, Gretchen, Rhodes, Tony Patler and my keyboard player has a great R&B voice. And we’re doing other stuff like, “Can’t Find My Way Back Home”, “Shake, Rattle and Roll” and then I’ve got my songs, “Only You Know and I Know”, “We Just Disagree” and stuff like that. So, let’s put it this way, there are no filler songs in the entire show.

Rick: It’s gotta be tough fitting in all the songs you like to play. Do you pick songs you love to play or the big sellers?

Dave Mason: It’s a combination of both, a combination of hits with Cropper’s stuff; his records are huge, they’ll get played.  

Rick: You’ve got a lot of albums you’ve put out. I think there’s close to twenty-seven. 

Dave Mason: Oh, God I don’t know. [Laughs] I can’t say I’m putting anything out. In the last ten years, there’s no label. It’s a waste of time. It’s sad that there’s no radio anymore, no DJs, no way to promote anything. I think it’s the biggest flaw of it all.

Rick: What kind of rig and guitar are you grabbing for this tour? 

Dave Mason: I play a Strat.

Rick: What about acoustic?

Dave Mason: I‘m using it on “We Just Disagree”. I’m using the same 12-string I’ve played for years, an Alvarez Yairi.

Rick: The black one?

Dave Mason: Yeah. And, then I use a rig I put through a Fender Blues Deville.

Rick: During the late sixties and the early ‘70s, what do you think was the best rock city in America?

Dave Mason: The best rock city? It’s hard to say if you go back to the ‘60s and ‘70s. There was music coming out of Nashville, Philadelphia, Detroit, New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles. You had a shit load of places and, it depends, I mean rock music could have been cut in any one of those places.

I don’t know, when I think of rock ‘n roll and what people classify as rock ‘n roll are different things. On the set we do, at the end of the show I tell people I’m gonna to do some real rock and roll, not AC/DC, okay? Real rock, like in 1954, “Shake, Rattle and Roll”, Little Richard’s rock ‘n roll, Eddie Cochran’s rock ‘n roll and all that.

Rick: You ever play the old Grande Ballroom in Detroit?

Dave Mason: Probably. [Laughs]

Rick: I’m from the Detroit area and we’d go there and Cobo Hall.

Dave Mason: Yeah, I played there too. Kick out the jams motherfuckers, [Both Laugh]

Rick: Yeah, I saw them (MC5) do that back in ’68 or ‘69 at the Grande. Anything you’re looking forward to on the Rock and Soul Revue Tour you and Steve (Cropper) are doing?

Dave Mason: We spent a week working on the show and to me it’s a great honor. It’s like completing a circle for me, fifty, sixty years later.

Rick: I was gonna say, he’s a hoot. He’s fun.

Dave Mason: Steve, oh yeah [Laughs] He’s got an endless amount of stories.

Rick: I think you’re gonna have a blast. How many gigs do you have?

Dave Mason: I’m not sure, probably about thirty at the moment. We’re just going to see how it goes. We’re going wherever we can.

Rick: You still like playing rock ‘n roll?

Dave Mason: I love playing. I’m a working musician,

Rick: What kind of acoustic guitar do you noodle around with at home?

Dave Mason: I have a Taylor that I bought back in ’94, and I have that beautiful Alvarez Yairi 12-string that was made for me twenty-five years ago.

Rick: Any parting words about the tour?

Dave Mason: I just hope people come out and check out the show and re-discover one of the greats, Steve Cropper