#I’ve been dealing with irl stuff like job hunting and what not

[deus-ex-mona]

series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:

[lacheri]

Hey Cherry, you okay? You seemed really excited with your writing for a bit and I’ve noticed you haven’t been as active. You don’t have to answer this or explain yourself, but I hope you’re taking care of yourself ❤️

I’m okay!! I got incredibly burnt out honestly and I’m just taking my time for some self care and to not make writing feel like a chore :/ I’m still writing, mr 12 is still coming out, I’m not going anywhere, I’m just on an unofficial hiatus <3

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Thirty-One: Boiling Water ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

Another day...another away basketball game. Which means a pretty empty classroom for the Home Ec group.

And Sasuke still has a lot on his mind regarding the class.

It’s true that he’s really enjoyed this semester. He had his doubts in the beginning. It has a bit of a reputation for being...well, girly. Of course, now he knows better. Sewing, cooking, cleaning...it’s not a girl thing, it’s a person thing.

While most of his classmates are underclassmen girls, they’ve subtly - in their own way - help impress just such a fact upon him. Doesn’t matter what you are. Got a hole in your shirt? You can fix it, just gotta know how. Need to make a dessert for a friend’s potluck? You can make one, just gotta know how! And literally everyone needs to know how to clean. Otherwise...you’re just gross.

In short, he went from one of those senior guys to a better equipped soon-to-be-adult. And also from someone rather intimidating in the class to the girls’ favorite person to fill in on gossip and ask opinions for. From scary upperclassman to adopted older brother of the class, really.

Well...for everyone except one person.

Hinata’s been...different. Mostly because she’s a senior, like he is. But also because she’s pretty much teacher number two. A copilot for the class, but especially for Sasuke. She helped him catch up in a variety of the class’s aspects, but especially cooking. Which his mother has been ecstatic about.

And over time, it’s become less about him learning from her, and more just...hanging out with her. They use free days to just...sit and cook things and talk. He hasn’t ever really had a friend like her before. Mostly he’s only ever just been commandeered into friendships like that with Naruto, or Shikamaru, or any of the other guys in their year. Any girls he’s met have generally been obnoxious and only wanted one thing from him.

...ironic then that the one he’s been able to tolerate and actually befriend...he’s been trying very hard not to feel more than that for.

He didn’t even mean for it to happen! It just...did! She’s so kind, and soft-spoken, and sweet...and she’s never treated him like the other girls have treated him. Like some kind of prey to be stalked and hunted down. It drives him up the wall...no, Hinata just treats him like anyone else. Like a friend.

And...and that’s what he wants.

...ugh.

It just so happens, too, that this entire conundrum is coming up as the semester is about to end. Technically Sasuke only needs one semester of this class to meet his requirements for graduation. And at the beginning of the year, he had assumed he’d be thankful once it was over. But now...he’s not so sure. And not just because of Hinata. He genuinely enjoys the class, and wants to stay.

There’s just one problem: his dad has been hounding him about taking as many “attractive” classes to colleges as he can. And needless to say that a Home Ec course doesn’t really do much for him in that regard.

Which leaves Sasuke in a bit of a bind. Does he ignore his father’s very obvious hinting and risk making him mad? Or does he abandon one of his favorite classes to please him (and whatever university ends up accepting him), making himself all the more miserable?

It’s been bugging him for a few weeks now...and he really isn’t sure what to do.

So...he decides to ask the one person he thinks he should.

“Another quiet day,” Hinata muses, letting her bag rest near the table she always sits at. “Well...want to cook something?”

Sasuke doesn’t reply at first, and her head tilts curiously.

“...Sasuke?”

“Could we maybe do something...else first?”

“Um...sure! What...what were you thinking?”

“I’d like some advice.”

Pale eyes blink in surprise. “...okay! Um...would you like some tea for while we...talk?”

“...yeah, that’d be nice.”

Nodding, Hinata fetches one of the Home Ec room’s kettles, filling it with water and letting it sit on the stovetop. “Is...everything okay?”

“Y’know how I mentioned changing classes the other day?”

“Oh...yeah. Still haven’t m-made a decision yet?”

His head shakes.

“Well, I...I don’t know if I’m really the person to ask, Sasuke.”

“I already asked my mom. She said I should stay.”

“...I take it you, um...you haven’t asked your dad?”

“No. I already know what he’d say. And...I didn’t want to risk bringing it up and having him make up my mind for me, y’know?”

“Yeah...I get that.” Going quiet for a moment, she seems to mull that over. “...what do you want to do?”

“...I want to stay.”

“...but?”

“But...I don’t want my dad to get angry. I don’t want to risk screwing up my college apps.”

“Will half a credit really make or break you…?”

“No. I don’t think so? I don’t know!”

Holding up a hand for a pause, Hinata lets the kettle build to a steady whistle before pouring two mugs of tea. “...here.”

“...thanks.”

“Let’s sit.”

Sasuke follows, holding his cup and not yet drinking. It’s almost more soothing just to hold it.

“...before, when we talked...you said you liked this class, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And that you...you already know your major, and...what kind of job you want?”

“I guess. It’s not really that I...want it? More just I guess it’s what I’ll do.”

Hinata’s eyes lower to the table, clearly thinking. “...do you...enjoy the things we do in class? Like...would you consider them hobbies, now?”

“...some of it? Cooking, yeah. I was kinda meh about it before, but...now I really like it. The rest is just useful.”

“...then I would stay, if I were you. Your dad can’t throw much of a fit about half a credit, right…?”

Sasuke sighs, a hand running back through his hair. “...I guess not. I just…” There’s a beat of hesitation. “...my dad’s pretty strict with my brother and I. Itachi’s already getting his undergrad in business this year, and he’s going on for a master’s. I don’t even think he wants to, he just feels like he has to because Dad pushed him into it. And then he started doing the same to me when Itachi started college.”

Hinata’s expression sobers. “...I know how that goes. My father and I, we...we had a big f-falling out when I was younger about what I wanted to do. When I told him I was going to take a year off...he told me he was cutting all support once I graduate.”

“What?!”

A nod. “He doesn’t think it’s proper. So I’ll be on my own. But I don’t have a plan...nothing’s ever felt that c-clear to me. I wanted the year to take and just...discover myself. See if...there was something I wanted to pursue.”

Sasuke’s brows furrow with a frown. “...I still say you do culinary stuff. You’re so good at it, Hinata! And you clearly enjoy it! Screw your dad and his snotty standards. Take a year, explore, and then go to culinary school. Look...I know there’s a pretty good program with the local community college. I bet you’d do great, and it wouldn’t be very expensive. Hell, I’d help you if I could.”

At that, her face slackens in surprise. “You...you really…?”

“You’re like...the nicest person I know. If your dad’s gonna treat you like that, it’s his loss, not yours. It’s your life, ‘nata. Do what you want with it.” Sasuke takes a gulp of tea in a spike of temper, feeling it burn down his throat. “...and if you open that baker you talked about? I’ll come work for you - do your books and stuff. Doesn’t matter what I’m doing otherwise. I’d do it.”

“But...w-why…?”

“Cuz you’re my friend. And I want to support you. Look...I know it’s only been a semester, but...you’re one of my best friends. Maybe even my best friend. So what kinda friend would I be back if I didn’t do that much, huh?”

To his own surprise, her jaw trembles, tears beading along her lids. “No one’s...n-no one’s ever...told me that before. Just...said I should do it.”

“Then you need to find better people to be around,” he mutters stubbornly.

“...thank you, Sasuke. Heh…” She dashes at her eyes with a sheepish smile. “...this was supposed to be advice for you...not me.”

“Hey, it’s a two-way street. I’ll stick to the class. That much we pretty much already knew anyway, right?”

“...right.”

Sasuke’s eyes flicker between her own, which stare a bit somberly at the table. “...it’ll be fine, Hinata. Besides, we’ve got a whole semester before we graduate. You can make some plans between now and then. Just...forget your dad and his attitude. It’s all gonna work out.”

“...I hope so.” Finally looking up, she gives him a rosy-cheeked smile. “...I’m glad you’re staying. It...it means a lot to me to have you to talk to, and just...y’know...hang out with. Is...is that lame?”

“...nah, it’s not lame at all.”

                                                           .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to days 98, 108, 139, 227, 284, and 301!)       Heyyy, guys - sorry for the unexpected two day break. But uh...I'll talk more about that below for anyone wondering. For now, about the drabble!      We're back in the Home Ec verse! I love this one, for a couple of reasons. Mostly cuz it's just so domestic and slice-of-lifey, y'know? It's relaxing, even when writing more stressful parts for them like this one. I dunno. It's just nice xD Not really a full 'story' per se since not much really...HAPPENS. But it's one of my favorite series.      Anyway, a lil behind-the-scenes for a second, which comes first with a little warning: the rest of the year is going to be VERY busy for me due to some irl changes happening this month. The next two weeks especially, but it'll probably drag on until at least the new year...I dunno. But in short, I've been missing so many days the last few weeks because life is REALLY stressful, and I've just been too tired. Add in that I have a chronic illness to deal with, and just...yeah. I get behind and have to take breaks.      And honestly I'm getting very burnt out by a whole year of writing an average of 1500 words A DAY. For reference's sake, this challenge JUST past 500,000 words. And I also did SHM, which was another 30,000, and ANOTHER ship month which was 75,000. That's over 600,000, and that's not counting other side projects I've done. So yes, I write other things too, but that makes this challenge all the more...well, challenging. For reference, today's prompt was for November 27. That's how far behind I've gotten. But there's just...really not much I can do about it, sadly. I don't have time to make them up, and likely will just have to drag the event out past December 31. Then on top of that there's organizing all the mini series for AO3, and just...yeah. I'm gonna need a LONG break once that's done before I even THINK of taking on all the projects I want to that will stem from this challenge.      SO, in short...just please be patient with me ;w; I'm doing my best, and in the end - as much as I love this - it IS just fanfiction. Real life has to come first. So I hope you'll bear with me for the last few weeks, and then the much-needed hiatus once it's over to recup before hopefully turn some of these into proper fics. We'll see how life goes.      But, that's enough rambling out of me! I just thought I'd elaborate a bit in case anyone was curious. I'm all right, just...very busy and stressed ^^; So I'll just have to take this challenge as I can. But thanks to everyone sticking with it. I appreciate it! On that note, though...I better go. Thanks for reading!

[the-numbers-game]

life update - long ramble

readmore

in less than three weeks, i will have finished my postgrad. it’s been a hecking fast course, and very intense at times. like most things im a bit gutted at myself for not trying as hard as i can. but i’ve done mostly okay considering my efforts. a range of grades. i was gutted last term that i got a c in my criminal litigation class just due to my nerves. all my content was perfect, i was just shit scared of public speaking. i bombed conveyancing cos that class was shit. but i did good in my other two and i’ve got good grades this semester so far. but i’ve also missed more classes, and i think i bombed my oral last week, and i’m bound to bomb my oral this week too.

idk how i will adjust to being not-in-education for the first time since i was 5 (3, if you include preschool). tbh, if i dont get a traineeship i may go back in 2021 or 2022 and do a masters. something on the constitution and human rights. maybe i’ll write about labour again.

 i’m gonna chill for a month or so, working my 2.5 days at work whilst i still have my student loan rolling in (LOL, i get hardly anything cos i’m a pg and most of it is gone in the repayment of the personal loan i took out to do this course). then, i’ll increase my days to 4. i can live off 4 days, and it means i can still count this job as not being my life whilst i hunt for a traineeship, and failing one that starts pretty soon, another job. i’m fixed term, and i was lucky in i got a promotion, but the promotion was also for a fixed term position. 

i hope my contract is extended, i put my face out there a lot at work primarily for that reason. i go on training courses and sit on committees, partly because i get away from my desk but also because it makes me look like i care about my job. i’ll mainly look at the public sector, as i feel like i belong there, i like flexible working and having an interesting caseload. and then law firms, as maybe if i get an admin job at a firm they will take pity on me and recruit me. failing those two, i will look charities/trade unions/politics before resulting to texting someone at my old work and begging for a job back. or maybe i’ll do agency work. fuck idk. i shouldn’t worry about it. i’ll get a job, right? 

i do hear back this week regarding a traineeship. i’m not hopeful. i never am. but the interview did go really well. i didn’t stammer, i spoke freely, we spoke a lot about unions and the labour party and i felt like they liked me. they only interviewed 6% of applicants, so i’m lucky to get through and even if i don’t get it i know i’ll be less anxious about interviewing for traineeships again because i know it can go well(ish). if i do get it i’ll be over the moon, it’s not human rights and it’s not public law but they do a lot of union work and pro bono, and that’s good enough for me. 

over the years, the way i experience anxiety has changed, dramatically.  for a while, i had quite a good support network of ‘safe adults’. like my friends, past and present, and callum, have all been remarkable, but i think being able to relate to adults/people in authority when you’re not quite an adult yourself is good for validation. it didn’t last long and friendships and ‘drama’ started to consume my life. when i finally moved out of retail into an office environment, a lot of my anxiety, especially the physical stuff, shifted. i shit you not, i would physically throw up before many of my shifts in retail. so again, i thought i was coping as things weren’t as bad as they were back then. especially when it came to depression, as i actively removed myself from the main environmental factor causing me to have low moods. 

i was dumb, cos of course i still had sadness and anxiety. it was just different, and because i channeled a lot of stress into uni, being new at my job, and being skint, it felt like there was always an excuse it wasnt anything about me,it was xyz and hey fuck look at least im not barthing and crying every morning yeah?

but 2019, whilst being a year of several incredible highs and generally being a good year was full of anxiety and due to me doing such an intense course with lots of orals, i realised, yes, i may not be taking as many panic attacks as i took when i was 18 but i felt as bad, fuck, even worse socially and internally, than i did back then. so i went to the doctors just before the new year, and got put on drugs. 

that was a big step, as i always have a fear about the doctors but i have a really good gp surgery, my main doctor is a bit odd but really helpful. one of the other doctors did a whole law degree and the diploma before deciding it wasnt for her and she wanted to go to med school, so shes a really good person to turn to. the reception staff are kind (and you can book appointments online too, which i find really helpful). i think as well, i always viewed my anxiety as mild, and in a way, it is, but in a lot of ways, it is not. medication has certainly helped. i take antidepressants and beta blockers and whilst im not a super happy confident girl, i can cope a lot better. i’m no longer physically anxious (if you know me irl you know i am a shaky bastard) and my brain doesn’t run through the same STRESS as it did. so im grateful. i know meds dont work for everyone and that it takes people years to find something good for them, esp for people with a lot more complex mental health issues than me and my anxiety but i found ones that seem to be working, at least for now.

this year, i’ve tried to look after myself more. i’m saving for a house after opening a help to buy isa last year. i noticed my vision was being a bit blurry from time to time and that my eyes felt really strained when looking at the computer. so i booked an eye appointment and it turns out im short sighted. wearing glasses, as well as fulfilling 12 year old me’s fantasy, has massively helped my general fatigue. i’m gonna book in for physio at my gp, cos i have a dodgy shoulder, and due to general stress, both the dodgy one and the other are in a lot of pain constantly. i try and do a proper skincare routine in the mornings and at night. i’ve always loved skincare but usually just take what i’ve been gifted but i’ve had fun exploring brands and building a collection. i’ve asked for extensions at uni when i’ve needed them, and took time off when appropriate. i’ve been meeting friends more, and not patching messages. 

right okay- i’m falling asleep now but this has been a ramble which probably makes no sense but if we are mutuals or whatever i appreciate you and thanks for dealing with my bs.

tldr - finishing uni soon, probs gonna be looking for a job, doing better in life and with my mh. 

[multiversal-archive]

((Hello guys, I have some hot fuckin’ tea, and it’s about Yamcha. Come join the tea party and take a sip, babes.

Alright, so for context, there was conversation on @dragon-ball-meta [sorry if you think it’s weird to be tagged in a random rp blog’s post I will delete it from the post if you want me to-] about the potential of a pairing between Android Eighteen and Yamcha, the majority  agreeing that the pairing really didn’t make a lot of sense. No big deal, right?

Then comes one user, I will not name them because I don’t want to turn this into a witch hunt, who basically argued “IT DOESN’T WORK BECAUSE YAMCHA IS SEXIST TRASH”

And it. Really annoyed me, you know? Especially since there seems to be this trend of shitting on Yamcha for dumb or made up reasons.

And if you know me, you know that I can’t stand people shitting on him and Krillin.

Now, Dragon Ball Meta has done a good job in rebutting against their arguments, but I wish to make a response of my own, since this character assassination has been going on for years, and I think it’s time to stop.

Fuck your memes, the only valid Yamcha meme anymore is Yamcha juggling turtle shells.

Now before I start, I’d like to preface a few things.

First, no, I do not ship Eighteen and Yamcha. Not only because of the context that Dragon Ball Meta has pointed out, but because their general characters would really make the ship make no sense. Yamcha’s fear of girls would really not mesh well with Eighteen’s ‘spit it out’ kinda attitude. Not to mention, as much as I like Bulcha, Bulma is proof that bossy women just aren’t the best match for Yamcha. He’s too passive to make the relationship work. Yamcha is so afraid of getting dumped that he just nervously accepts that she’s right, and sometimes your partner needs to be told that they’re wrong. And while Eighteen is quieter, she’s kinda bossy too. So no, I don’t see this ship working, with or without Krillin.

Second, just so there’s no mistake, no, this is not me arguing against Dragon Ball Meta. I might elaborate, or even correct him on a few things on the subject, but in general, I agree with his assessment of Yamcha’s character. This is a response to one of the users that reblogged his post. Please do not think for a second I’m trying to start beef or anything.

Also, the person will not be name dropped because one, again, no witch hunt, and two, this is unfortunately an opinion of Yamcha that the majority of the fanbase seems to hold. So I will be arguing them all to fuck.

And if you find out who it is by going to DBM’s blog, do not, I repeat, do not harass them. If you do, I will block you. No exceptions! I don’t care if you’re following me, I don’t care if you like my writing and my characterization, I don’t even care if we’re mutuals. If you harass someone over works of fiction, you’re fucking dead to me.

Third, I know that being a Yamcha roleplayer might make me biased, but believe me, in order to write for this character, I had to do a fuck ton of research, especially since I’m actually relatively new to the series [I fuckin started binge watching it last year from Dragon Ball to Dragon Ball Super, still debating on watching GT], reading up on anything that I missed so that I can stay as true to his character as possible.

That being said, the research I’ve done on this series and this character is why I think the notion of Yamcha being sexist, a cheater, etc. is erroneous.

Now, Let’s begin.

You really don’t bring up a lot of points, your main ones being one, he sees girls as objects and not people, and two, he cheated on Bulma [ah that classic misconception among fans], So I will shoot them down one at a time.

One; You claim that Yamcha is sexist, that he sees girls as objects and things to be exploited.

... When?

No, I mean it, give me one fucking example. You made the claim, the burden of proof is on you, as the one making the argument. I’ll even provide links that let you view the mangas and animes for free so you can point me to one manga panel, one episode with the time that it happens. Give me one example, and I might, might, take that claim seriously.

You also say that he feels justified in his fear and distrust of women, so he’s sexist.

Uhm....? No??? You’re right that he’s afraid of women, but distrustful??? The fuck did that come from?

Oh, but you might zone in on the fear and be like, “That’s proof enough that he’s sexist!”

Uuuuuhhhhh no.

See, fear can mean different things depending on what it’s bred by. With things such as homophobia, transphobia, and, yes, sexism, those are fears bred by hate.

In Yamcha’s case, it’s clear that that’s not his case of fear. Not only does he express his want to get over his fear so he can talk to a girl without freezing up or being a blabbering mess, hence his motivation for trying to steal the Dragon Balls from Goku and the others, but the other characters’ outright point out that he’s shy. On numerous occasions. Usually by Bulma, but still.

Not to mention that usually his reactions to being around a girl or being flirted with by one, it’s usually very anxious, leaving me to believe that he’s got some sort of social anxiety going on.

If you need proof, look no further than episode six of Dragon Ball “Keep an Eye on the Dragon Balls”, where it shows various instances of Yamcha going into panic attacks over Bulma, even going into an outright catatonic state when he realizes he accidentally grabbed Bulma’s boob. [which also discredits the notion of Yamcha seeing girls like objects, as he’s constantly horrified of seeing and touching a naked girl. If he saw girls as objects, he would have been creeping on her all to hell.]

The only reason he got over his fear with Bulma is because her safety was in jeopardy, and he had to put his fear aside to protect her. Once again, this discredits the idea of him seeing women as beneath him, as well as your other point, which I will get to in a while.

“But why is he only like that with girls?” you might ask. Well, not only is there several real life examples of boys being too shy around girls and feeling more at home with talking to boys, Yamcha has expressed wanting to get married one day. And as someone with social anxiety myself, I do find it very hard to approach people IRL because I’m afraid of being judged, if it makes sense. So it’s very easy to argue that the same could apply to Yamcha, just with girls his age.

Two; Your argument is that he cheated on Bulma and that in general, any ship with him would be abusive.

Uhm??? The only source for the cheating issue was Trunks, who got it from his mother... Who’s known to misunderstand situations Yamcha finds himself in as him cheating. Who’s known to get jealous if a girl shows interest in him, not him showing interest in the girl, but the girl showing interest in him.

Not to mention, does this look like someone that’s willing to cheat?

Because to me this looks more like someone that takes his relationship with Bulma seriously and wants to take it further. And remember, the only prompting was Goku telling Bulma to “take care of the baby” with no context.

Oh, also here’s the link to the manga page so you know I’m not bullshitting.

Oh, what’s that? You’re going to bring up the episode in Dragon Ball Z where it shows him as a baseball player? Where not only were they broken up at the time when he asked someone to go on a date with him and was talking with another girl, but the entire episode was also filler? Once again, think back to his shyness. Even Toriyama confirmed that it’s always going to be there.

“Oh but then you’ll have to say all the fun stuff like Chichi making Goku learn to drive and Yamcha, Tien, and Chiaotzu kicking the Ginyu Force’s ass.” you may say.

I mean. Yeah. It’s not canon. But unless it’s deconfirmed by Toriyama himself or doesn’t contradict established characterization, then we can still imagine that they happened. Most of the filler are things happening during timeskips anyways, or just don’t happen during the main story, so it’s really up to the imagination what all happened, and Toei did just that.

You also claim that Yamcha behaves like a fuckboi, to which I have to say bitch where?

Yeah, he was a bit annoyed that Bulma had Vegeta’s child, but that was never, I repeat, never directed at Bulma, or Trunks for that matter. In fact, by the looks of it, he was helping Bulma take care of him. It’s quite clearly directed at Vegeta.

Why?

Simply put, Yamcha’s ultimate goal was to settle down and start a family. And not only does Vegeta do that, with his ex no less, but he also just... Completely ignores them.

Can you imagine how infuriating that is, not even flaunting something they have that you don’t, but completely ignoring it like it’s nothing.

Vegeta had started this family, the family that could have been Yamcha’s, and he wasn’t even willing to take responsibility for it.

Now I’m not trying to imply that Yamcha was owed anything or that Bulma owed anyone anything. Hell, I don’t think Yamcha thought that either. I’m just trying to illustrate his mindset.

And you know what? After the Cell Games Saga, he stopped being cross with Vegeta. He’s still friendly with Bulma and Trunks, and he’s even friendly with Vegeta. Hell, when Bulla was born, he was excited to meet her.

Pretty sure if he were a fuckboy, he’d be trying to win Bulma back.

But no, he’s content with being friends with Bulma and her family. Because, at least I think, he cares about what she wants and what makes her happy. I think so long as she’s happy with what she has, then he’s happy too.

Does that sound like a fuckboy to you?

“Well then why did they break up? Are you saying Bulma did something wrong?”

No.

Just like in real life, sometimes break ups don’t happen because one slighted the other.

Sometimes things just don’t work out.

Think about it, throughout the series, up until the Android Arc, their relationship has been on and off, usually Bulma accusing him of cheating. And like I pointed out earlier in the post, Yamcha is just too passive to make the relationship work. If he were more assertive and willing to stand his ground and assure her that no, he’s not cheating, then maybe it would have had a better chance of working. 

I think at this point, the healthiest thing for them was that they stopped being in this relationship. For good.

And if their break up was really the result of one of them wronging each other, they would not still be friends.

So, can we end this character assassination? It’s been going on for yeas, and it needs to stop. Same with Krillin’s character assassination.

The memes may have been funny once upon a time, but they’re getting old now. And people are starting to view them as canon.

And that’s it for my tea. If you have something you wish to add or to correct me on, please be sure to share your thoughts. I’d love to know. ^^

Sorry that this is so long and probably all over the place holy fuck-))

[breeeliss]

[Miraculous Ladybug]: Protection Detail

hellooooooo @the-number-4 !!!!! i’m your back-up secret santa from @mlsecretsanta !! im so so so sorry this is so late. between the blizzard that hit us last week and other irl stuff, i’ve been swamped. but i heard that you’re a huge fan of marichat so i thought that you might appreciate something cute and fluffy for them. i hope you enjoy!

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

Title: Protection Detail  Pairing: Marichat (Marinette x Chat Noir) Summary: Chat Noir takes it upon himself to become Marinette's first line of defense against the male teenaged jerks of Paris.

Protection Detail 

According to Ladybug, Chat Noir was developing a bit of a “publicity issue.”

Which, at first, seemed like such a lie because just last week Chat Noir was trending on Twitter for close to three days after a pretty heroic rescue involving an entire auditorium worth of helpless civilians trapped inside a theater. Not to toot his own horn, but it had been pretty spectacular, so as far as he was concerned he was riding on the coattails of a publicity success story .

Of course, then she had to clarify that she had meant his heightened publicity itself was the issue since he was apparently amassing far to much of it.

“That’s ridiculous!” he gasped. “We’re nationally renowned superheroes. How is us being well known an issue?”

“Us being well known is an unavoidable side effect. Giving your phone number out to a group of adoring fans so that they can ‘call you anytime they’re in trouble,’ however, is an extremely avoidable side effect.”

“I gave them the number to my baton. It’s not like it was my personal phone number.”

“You’re telling me you don’t see any negative consequences to this?”

Chat Noir waved away her concern. “They know it’s for emergencies only, my lady. It’ll be fine.”

It wasn’t fine. His phone was blowing up at all hours of the day for reasons that had literally nothing to do with being in danger. Chat Noir once answered the phone only to have a strange girl he didn’t know ask him what size underwear he wore. Why that information was pertinent, he didn’t know, but needless to say it took hours for Plagg to figure out how to program a brand new phone number into the thing.

It was about the closest thing to a scolding Plagg had ever given him which was sort of impressive when you considered the fact that Plagg hated taking anything seriously.

So, okay. Fine. Maybe giving out his work number to large crowds wasn’t the best idea.

But he was a public servant! A hero to the defenseless! A symbol of Paris! Making themselves available to civilians was part of their job. It was so hard to see collège students younger than him sitting in ambulances after traumatizing akuma attacks and not subtly hand over his number so that they could call him next time there was an issue. His heart bled for the people he was tasked with helping, and the only reason he developed this “publicity issue” in the first place was because he cared so much.

Besides. A couple of people here and there having his number wasn’t a bad thing so long as he didn’t let it get out of control again, right?

That hope didn’t come back to bite him until one afternoon when he was patrolling alone and his phone starting ringing against his hip. Assuming that it must have been Ladybug, he picked up and skipped over his greeting. “Hey, so I’m like three blocks away from that Indian restaurant we found yesterday if you wanna come join me. But if not, it’s cool, I was about to head home anyway. You all done with shopping?”

“...er...Marinette? ”

Chat Noir pulled the phone away from his ear and frowned at the very male voice that was talking to him from the other end. “Uh, I’m sorry, who is this?”

“ Um, my name’s Pierre? I’m trying to get in touch with a girl named Marinette. Is she home?”

Weird. Chat Noir didn’t remember giving his number to a guy like Pierre, and especially not one that sounded this old. He was sure he would’ve remembered someone like that. “You’re not exactly calling her house, buddy,” Chat Noir said. “How did you get this number?”

Pierre cleared his throat. “ W-Well, uh, Marinette had given it to me but I guess I must have dialed it wrong or something. Oh crap. You’re not her boyfriend, are you? ”

Marinette…Marinette? The only Marinette that Chat Noir knew was Marinette Dupain-Cheng from school but he didn’t understand why she of all people would have his —

Oooooh. Wait a minute. Hold on.

Chat Noir turned on his heel and looked back in direction he’d just come from. “Yeeeeah, you’ve definitely got the wrong number, man. Sorry about that. You might just wanna let this ship sail, though. If she really wanted you to call her, she would’ve made sure you had the right number before she left you.”

“ Wait, do you know her? Can you just give her a message for —”

Chat Noir winced. “Unfortunately my matchmaking services are closed on Wednesdays. Woops! But, uh, better luck next time I guess!”

He hung up the phone before the conversation got more awkward and checked the time. Only a little after five. Marinette was probably still running the registers at this time. Hopefully she wouldn’t mind him paying her quick visit.

Lately, Adrien had been getting into the habit of visiting the bakery in the mornings before school and directly after classes let out to indulge in some of the sweets that his father would never let him have. It was partially a convenience thing, but it was mostly because Mme. Cheng liked to sneak him extra treats when her husband wasn’t looking and ask him about how his studies were going. It got the point where he visited to often, he only really needed to walk in before Mme. Cheng had his order already charged to the register.

But one day he completely forgot he was transformed and walked into the bakery as Chat Noir while politely asking for his usual. Marinette happened to be running the registers that day and needless to say he surprised her and the rest of the customers with how casually he’d entered. He really needed to get better about remembering to detransform before he went on his errands….

Anyway, the good news was that if Chat Noir wanted free pastries, all he needed to do was visit Marinette when she was working — Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday afternoons — and trade in autographs as payment. For some reason, she didn’t seem too interested in keeping them for herself, but she swore she had a friend who would absolutely adore them and Chat Noir could live with that so long as she kept the chocolate eclairs coming.

When he finally got to the bakery, he plucked a napkin from the dispenser on the counter, quickly signed it, and handed it to Marinette. “A palmier and a penny for your thoughts?”

Marinette smirked and pocketed the autograph. “If this is about whether or not the bell around your neck is getting in the way of your manly image, I’m kicking you out the store.”

“No. Although I still think we should revisit that discussion.” He leaned on the counter and lowered his voice. “Do you remember that time I gave you my phone number after I saved you from that akuma? Told you to call me anytime you were in trouble again?”

Marinette nodded. “I remember. Although, I don’t know if it’s such a good idea for you to be giving that out to random civilians.”

Chat Noir pouted. “Ugh, you sound just like Ladybug. Anyway, back to the point. You wouldn’t happen to have given that phone number to a guy named Pierre, would you?”

Marinette’s eyes widened at the name. “Oh no. He didn’t call you did he?”

“He called me like fifteen minutes ago asking for you. I’m assuming that was on purpose?”

“Damn. I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I meant to call you and warn you about that after I got off of my shift so that it wouldn’t seem so random. I didn’t expect him to try calling me right after I left him.”

“Yeah, about that, who is this guy?”

Marinette rolled down and slipped on some serving gloves so that she could collect a bag of treats for him. “No idea. He was some première student that was flirting with me on my way back home. He kept touching my waist and asking for my phone number even though I kept telling him no. He was being really creepy and insistent about it so I sort of just panicked and gave him yours before I ran inside. I figured if he got you on the phone he’d think you were my boyfriend or something and just let it go.”

Chat Noir’s jaw dropped. “What a minute. A première student!?”

“I think so. He said he was seventeen I think.”

“And he was touching you without your permission?”

“Yeah, he was like trying to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me to his side. Super weird. Anyway, do you still like opera cakes? I can throw in a couple for you if you want.”

Chat Noir held up a hand. “Wait a minute, hold on, waaaaaiiiit a minute . Who is this guy? Where does he live? What school does he go to?”

Marinette shrugged. “I don’t know. Why are you asking?”

He scoffed. “Um. Gee. Because there’s this creepy dude that’s like three years older than you being a total tool and forcing you to give him your number when you’re clearly uncomfortable?”

“What are you going to go beat him up or something?”

“You do realize I’m a superhero, right? I could totally Cataclysm all the hair off the top of his head. Then we’ll see how many young girls he’ll go around harassing after that.”

Marinette chuckled. “As much as I appreciate how passionate you are about defending my honor, I don’t think you should do that. It’s not that big a deal.”

“How is a douche nozzle of a lycée student harassing a collège student for her phone number ‘not a big deal’?”

“Because that’s not the first or the last time a douche nozzle is going to come bug me for my phone number. Look don’t get me wrong, I appreciate your concern I really do, but I promise everything’s alright. You don’t need to go hunt him down.”

Chat Noir shook his head and absently took the bag of treats that Marinette handed him. “To think I wished him luck when I hung up with him. And he sounded so meek and innocent. What a total liar! Complete jerk! I can’t believe you had to give him my number just to make him go away.”

Marinette pulled him away from the display of macarons before he knocked it over with all of his gesticulating. “Hey, I really am totally sorry about that. I understand how that could’ve been uncomfortable what with you being a superhero and everything. I’ll try to make sure I don’t give it out like that again. I’ll come up with a better dodge.”

Chat Noir tapped the tip of her nose. “No. You know what? If anyone else from here on out is super insistent about asking for your number, definitely give them mine. I’ll handle it.”

“Oh no,” she groaned. “You’re planning something. What are you planning?”

“Nothing bad. At least not for you.”

“ Chat .”

“Worry not, princess!” he announced as he opened the door to the bakery and valiantly held up his food as if it were a knight’s sword. “Chat Noir is a hero to all, and I will not let this injustice against you stand.”

She stared at him flatly. “There hasn’t been an akuma in days. You’re bored. This must be it. You’re totally bored.”

“Nonsense, princess!” Chat Noir exclaimed, shocking the couple that ducked under his arm to enter the bakery. “My commitment to ensuring your safety is wholly sincere and not for my benefit in the least. If anything, this has officially become my top priority.”

Marinette shook her head fondly. “Alright, Chat. Whatever you say.”

Chat Noir bowed farewell and sent her one last pointed stare. “Don’t forget to call me if something weird happens.”

“I will, I will, I promise. Now shut the door. You’re scaring the customers and letting all the cold air in.”

After all of the akumas that were packed in tight all throughout last week, it seemed like Hawkmoth had finally hit a slump because there hadn’t been a single attack in days. Chat Noir and Ladybug had even decided to put the patrols on pause for a few days because the weather had gotten way too frigid to justify spending prolonged periods of time on the windy rooftops of the city. Maybe Hawkmoth wasn’t a fan of the weather either. Or maybe people were too busy hiding from the cold in their homes to bother being upset enough to get akumatized at all. Whatever the reason, Marinette wasn’t complaining. It gave her an excuse to catch up on all the sleepovers she owed Alya.

Marinette was leaving one of those sleepovers on Sunday evening and decided to brave the frigid weather and walk back to the bakery instead of making Alya’s parents forfeit their parking spot and drive her. It was a bit of a trek, but Marinette was bundled up pretty well and the exercise was worth it.

She was tightening her scarf around her neck when she realized just how dark it had gotten and how empty the streets were looking. Alya didn’t live in a particularly dangerous neighborhood, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to take such a long walk by herself.

Marinette frowned and scanned the rooftops. Chat Noir was usually out and about on Sunday nights. Maybe this wouldn’t be a terrible time to call in that favor he’d offered her.

Deciding his theatrics were worth the safe trip home, Marinette quickly dialed him and waited until he got his voicemail.

“ Hey there, this is Chat Noir. If you’re calling to ask for Marinette Dupain-Cheng she wants nothing to do with your creepy butt and if you have a problem with that you can take it up with me. Lucky for me it won’t be much of a fight, so choose wisely. If you’re calling to ask for me, I can’t come to the phone right now, so just leave a message and stay miraculous! Laterz!”

The voicemail beeped and Marinette placed her hand on her hip. “Chat, you really don’t have to be threatening all of these nonexistent boys for me. I haven’t even given my number out these past few days. I mean, I appreciate the thought and everything, but I don’t know how Ladybug is going to feel about you planning on beating up lycée boys.”

She pouted and started walking towards home. “Anyway, that’s not why I called. Uh, I’m on the corner of Violet and Tiphaine in the 15th arrondissement. I’m walking home from my friend’s house and I’d appreciate some company since it’s a long trip and it’s pretty dark outside. No rush, but if you wouldn’t mind meeting up with me, I’d appreciate it. And change your voicemail greeting for heaven’s sake!”

Silly cat.

Soon he’d be plastering his face on the news and announcing his new safety escort service to every single teenage girl in Paris. She didn’t think that caring too much would ever be a problem for anyone, but if Chat Noir was an expert at anything it was completely obliterating her expectations.

Chat Noir was usually pretty good about checking his messages, so hopefully it would only take him a few minutes to get to her. In the meantime, Marinette made sure to stay on the busier streets and keep her phone in her hands in case Chat Noir called her back.

She’d only been walking for about five minutes before she stopped at the crosswalk and caught the attention of a boy just a couple of years older than her who had just walked out of the supermarket on the corner. Marinette was busy checking her text messages and was startled when he tapped her shoulder and introduced himself. “Got a long walk home ahead of you?”

He didn’t look particularly suspicious, but his intentions were pathetically obvious judging by how poorly he was trying to hide his appraisal of her. Definitely not worth her time. Marinette smiled politely and kept her eyes on the crosswalk. “Not too far.”

“It’s a little chilly for you to be walking, isn’t it? Aren’t you cold in that skirt?”

Marinette kicked the side of her shin. “Thermals. I’m plenty cozy, don’t worry.”

“Oh come on,” he smiled. “Listen. I’m heading for the bus stop right now. Let me pay your fare so you can have a warm ride home.”

“The bus doesn’t stop in front of my house. Makes more sense to walk.”

He blinked. “O-Oh. Well, I mean…isn’t it kinda lonely walking by yourself?”

Marinette raised a brow. “Not really? I’m a big girl, I’m fine walking a few blocks.” The crossing signal finally flashed and Marinette took the chance to quicken her step and end the conversation. “Nice meeting you.”

But it didn’t seem like he had gotten the hint because he jogged across the street to catch up with her and grab her hand to slow her down. “Wait, wait, hold on a minute! You mind if I walk with you then? I’m sure we’re going the same way and it’ll make me feel better to know you got home okay.”

Marinette snatched her hand back and shoved it in her pocket. “I haven’t told you where I lived, so how do you know we’re going the same way?”

“Well, we’re walking down this street together, aren’t we?”

“Listen,” Marinette sighed. “I appreciate you trying to be nice, but I’d really rather walk by myself.”

The boy frowned and kept alongside of her while standing too close for her comfort. “I mean…okay, but I don’t see what the big deal is with letting me walk you home.”

Marinette’s smile was forced. “Because I didn’t ask you to walk me home, and you’re making me uncomfortable. So I’m just going to go on by myself.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, I guess. Can I at least get your phone number then?”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I should get going.”

“Seriously?” he scoffed. “What’s the harm? It’s just a phone number.”

“You know, you’re really persistent,” Marinette glared. “And that’s not a compliment. I just told you I don’t want to, so shoo!”

“I’m being persistent because you’re being nasty,” the boy complained. “It’s just texting, it’s not like I’m going to be a creepy about it. You’re pretty, and I just want to talk with you more.”

Marinette eyed the convenience store on the corner and wondered if she could lose the jerk in there. “Would you get lost? You are being creepy about this, and if you don’t cut it out I’m going to call someone.”

“What like the cops?” the boy exclaimed. “God, why are you being so frigid? Are you this rude to every stranger you meet?”

Marinette cursed under her breath and pulled her phone out so that she could fake a phone call to an imaginary boyfriend or something. Figures that the on the rare occasion she decided to walk all the way home from Alya’s some weirdo would be trying to accost her the entire way home. Whatever. At least if she meandered around the convenience store, she’d have a warm place to wait until Chat Noir showed up, and hopefully walking shoulder to shoulder with him would deter anymore idiotic behavior from strange boys she didn’t know.

But at that moment, almost as if the mere thought of him summoned him to the scene, Marinette heard someone loudly clear their throat above her.

“Is there a problem here?”

Chat Noir slid down the awning of the corner store and landed gracefully in front of the boy who had backed away a couple of steps and looked nervously between him and Marinette. She had to admit, for someone who wasn’t particularly assuming or intimidating, Chat Noir was doing a pretty good job of making the boy uncomfortable by brandishing his staff and clenching his fist as if he were two seconds away from calling upon his Cataclysm.

“A-Ah, nothing’s wrong,” the boy explained. “We were just talking. We’re friends, and we were playing around.”

Marinette snorted and linked arms with Chat Noir. “Hey, Chat. Thanks for coming. I have no idea who this jerk is.”

“Sorry I couldn’t come sooner. I was halfway across the city when you called. Lucky I came when I did though.”

“It’s okay. I appreciate you coming on such short notice.”

The boy furrowed his brows at the sight before him. “What’s going on here? Is he your boyfriend or something?”

“Are you her boyfriend?” Chat Noir countered. “Because if you aren’t, there’s no need for you to be walking her home.”

“Hey, man, I was just trying to be gentlemanly.”

Chat Noir swung his staff onto his other shoulder, and Marinette couldn’t help but laugh when the other boy flinched. “Gentlemen usually understand the definition of no. If the lady doesn’t want you walking her home, then you don’t get to walk her home. And you definitely don’t get to bother her for a phone number like you’re entitled to it.”

“I-I wasn’t bothering her —”

“Look, it’s really late. I’ve gotta get this lovely girl home to make sure more idiots like you don’t bother her, and then I’ve got a patrol to get to. So if you’re going to keep this up, you leave me no choice but to call the cops.” He shrunk his staff down into a baton and flipped open his phone. “I’ve got them on speed dial, so it really shouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes for them to show up.”

“Alright, alright!” the boy said. “I’m gone, I’m gone. Jesus…”

Chat Noir waited until the boy turned the corner before he placed his hands on Marinette’s shoulders and checked her over quickly. “Are you okay? He didn’t touch you or hurt you, did he?”

“Oh, not at all,” Marinette assured. “He was just talking and being weird. But thanks for coming to help me. He was getting a little irritating.”

“Why are you always so flippant about this stuff?” Chat Noir pouted. “My offer to go beat him up still stands.”

Marinette smiled and tapped the bell around his neck. “I already told you. You shouldn’t be assaulting civilians. That’s not great for your superhero look. And I’m not flippant, I’m just used to it I guess. When it happens all the time, it just becomes annoying and inconvenient at most. I’ve picked up tricks on how to deal with it in case valiant heroes can’t come to my rescue in time.”

Chat Noir didn’t look completely happy with the answer, but he nodded and jutted his chin down the block. “Do you still want me to walk you home?”

Marinette winced. “If you wouldn’t mind? I want to avoid any more excitement for the night.”

“I understand. You mind if we take the scenic route? I don’t want to delay you by dealing with people asking for autographs and pictures.”

Marinette nodded and squeezed his arm tight while they turned down a less crowded street and made their way back to Marinette’s neighborhood. She expected him to fill the time with chatter, but he seemed abnormally quiet. She leaned over and saw that he was frowning thoughtfully at the sidewalk, so she poked him in the cheek and tried to get him to look at her. “Is something wrong?”

Chat Noir shrugged. “It’s silly.”

“I’m sure it isn’t.”

“No, it is, because you don’t want to make a big deal out of it, and I want to respect that.”

“I mean, if there’s something bothering you I want you to tell me. We’re friends aren’t we?”

Chat Noir laughed and dipped his head. “Yeah. We’re friends.” He subconsciously pulled her closer and kept an eye on the road as they crossed the street. “I don’t know, it just really bothers me to know that random guys treat you like that. And I know you’re used to it, and you can handle it by yourself. I’m not trying to suggest you can’t take care of yourself. I just get really angry on your behalf because it’s just so disgusting to me.”

“I guess that explains your voicemail greeting.”

“I want to make sure they come bother me instead of you! I didn’t want you handing out the wrong number and then have them come find you all angry!”

“Is that what that was!?”

“Of course! I’m not doing this because I want to get into fights. I just want to make sure you’re safe. Trust me, I know how stupid guys act, and stupid guys who are embarrassed about getting rejected like that will come and bother you about it. I didn’t want that to happen to you.”

Marinette bit her lip and snuggled up to his side. “Is that why you’re so serious about this? And why you get annoyed when I’m not as serious?”

“I don’t mean to be all clingy and overprotective, I honestly don’t. But this isn’t the sort of thing you should have to put up with. I’m your friend, and if you have to lean on me for this sort of thing, I want you to. And you wouldn’t be a bother either! I’m sure Ladybug would understand if I explained it to her. It’d be like a side gig, separate from akuma fighting.”

It was such a sincere explanation that Marinette couldn’t help from laughing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t expect this to be so upsetting to you. I really can handle it on my own, but…I’ll admit, that boy from earlier was making me really uncomfortable. I was relieved when you showed up.”

Chat Noir leaned down and whispered in between them. “He can’t be more than a few blocks away, Marinette, I can go give him just a little scare — ”

“Leave him be,” Marinette smirked. “I’m serious, please don’t beat up any boys for me. But…well, if you’re fine with me giving out your number to pushy people and maybe calling you if I feel unsafe walking home…I guess I can keep your number saved.”

Chat Noir grinned. “That’ll make me feel a lot better, thank you.”

She patted his arm and added, “I do still think the voicemail greeting is too harsh.”

“Aw, let me keep it. It’s effective!”

“It’s scary!”

“It’s a gentle warning.”

“At least take out the bit about the fighting.”

“Fine, I’ll tone it down a little.”

Marinette beamed at him and kissed his shoulder. “Thank you.”

Chat Noir blinked down at her and coughed into his hand before keeping his gaze resolutely ahead. “Yeah! Cool! So, uh, anyway…you think I can sneak a couple of pastries for the trip home? I skipped lunch today and I’ve been craving some tartlets.”

“I’m sure I can find you something,” Marinette promised. “Consider it my thanks.”

Chat Noir’s ears wiggled in excitement. “You’re the best Marinette.”

“Hey there, this is Chat Noir. If you’re calling to ask for Marinette Dupain-Cheng, she’s asked me to very politely communicate to you that she’d rather not speak with you or see you any further. If this is a problem, she’s asked me to handle any and all complaints. That’s right. Me. Chat Noir. Defender of Paris. Let that sink in. Uh...yeah, so if you’re calling for me, I can’t come to the phone right now, so please leave a message and stay miraculous! Bye-bye!”

[dateflight398]

Dating As A Single Dad Reddit

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Dating Single Parents Reddit

Reddit Dating Advice

A few years ago, I started cracking jokes regularly about hot dads. Then when I met a charming, handsome dude with good taste in music and tacos at a secret Santa vinyl swap party last winter, I started dating one. Suddenly the jokes seemed a little creepy, and although I actively pumped the brakes on making them, those familiar with my menagerie of hot dad puns rose a skeptical eyebrow. I didn't seek out a hot dad, it just happened. Hotness aside, there's some unexpected things that happen when you date a single dad.

I've dated ('dated') divorced dudes before, which might be a little similar, but this relationship marks my first with a parent. When the relationship was brand-spankin' new, a lot of close friends lamented renditions of, 'I could never DATE A PARENT.' They echoed sentiments of kids being deal breakers. But I just figured, we're getting older. Everyone has a past and brings baggage into a relationship. And sometimes that baggage needs soccer lessons. Although, of course, I find my partner's child a deeply charming, fun, hilarious little human who doesn't qualify as 'baggage.' You know what I mean. A man willing and thrilled to take on the dad role shows commitment. It shows a patient man who gives a damn and has a loving heart. These are positive things. However, yeah..dating one of these men summons some unique situations sometimes.

Aug 27, 2018 Single dads have responsibilities, and that’s a sign that they’ll be able to handle a relationship maturely. Speaking of fatherly responsibilities, single dads have to take their kids to the Dentist, the Doctor, and other appointments. This means that it should be relatively easy to meet a single dad if you’re looking to date one. If you’re newly single, ease into it. Remember, you’re the grown-up here. “The decision to date is 100. Single Officers, hows your dating life? I am a Deputy that is currently working in the county jail. I was recently set up on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She was was really cute from her pictures and i was told she was a great person so i agreed. We met for dinner and I was actually having a good time.

He gets along great with your dad

I already knew I was dating a sociable, nice guy, and my dad is the same way, but I don't know how I failed to predict this easy bond. It's kinda unbelievably cute to watch them nerd out on fatherhood together.

He moves easily in different social situations

If he has to make pleasant conversation with other parents during tae kwan do, he can flow harmoniously through your old coworker's new girlfriend's potluck.

Finding tiny clothes in your clean laundry

Or..not even that tiny. Just not yours and not big enough to be his. I recently unearthed a red T-shirt that was definitely not mine in a batch of clean laundry I did at bae's house. Granted, I'm a fairly petite person and my boyfriend's child is seven. Even though I modeled it for jokes above, I resisted the urge to actually don and sport it around. That seemed too far.

Reexamining past relationships

Every situation is different, but my boyfriend is still on amicable terms with his child's mother, who also lives near us. Matters are so peachy that she even shared me on a Google Calendar she, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend share re: who has chief parenting duties when (it's half-and-half, really). This kind of amazing camaraderie made me really look at past relationships I'd previously kept duct-taped in a box and tossed the way-back part of the closet. I'd like to say this exercise made me resurrect toxic romantic relationships as healthy friendships, but that hasn't quite happened yet (and with some specific ones, I honestly can't see that ever happening). More than anything, I think it's helped me recognize the hard fact that all humans have faults and, in general, good intentions. Harmony can exist with a little work. (Though to be fair, I can't take credit for the calendar. That's all his superstar ex's handiwork and maturity.)

Realizing people sure like to make fun of/talk about dads

I actually muted #dadbod from Twitter and had to fake a million smiles for people trying to relate to me by bringing the meme up IRL. Also very tired of the dad joke thing (which is real, sure, but still not a phenom I care to discuss for the 999th time).

There's far less invented drama

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When a person has to care for another human, they simply have less emotional and physical energy to invent snafus or hang-ups. Nothing is a big deal unless it's an actual Big Deal. He has developed a wisdom to help him identify the difference between the two, and if you haven't already done the same, hanging with him long enough will be educational.

You have an incredibly patient partner

Someone who had to teach a tiny, indignant child how to master the toilet isn't gonna flip when you need to take nine breaks hiking back out of a canyon.

You save money

I've never considered my income sizable until I started thinking of the glaring fact that I don't have to split it with anyone. Since single dads still have to, you know, fund their child, there isn't always a ton of extra dough to fund flippant outings to fancy cocktail bars or jump onto tubing trips you didn't even want to attend in the first place. It inspires you to be more mindful of your own spending habits. As such—

He's wildly creative with cheap and free activities

And knows every single dope park worth visiting in town.

It forces you to address your own insecurities..

So when the kid asks, 'Why are you wearing lipstick?' You can actually think to yourself, '..Yeah. Why am I doing that?' And in a more serious sense, it forces you to dissect immature impulses. Like when you're running late to meet a friend because you're stuck in a child-stuffed lantern parade one town over, you're not allowed to bitch and force your S.O. to help you summon an Uber to pick you up, STAT—because he's too busy pushing the kid on a skateboard inside the festivities to indulge your princess agenda. It makes you take a more discerning look at this princess agenda and brainstorm ways to be more reasonable in general.

..and to be an adult yourself.

I was playing with the kid at a playground near my boyfriend's apartment and when an authority figure from the attached daycare came out to ask if we had permission to be there, I immediately turned to the child. Then I realized, 'Oh fuck. I'm supposed to answer here.' I've always been a touch afraid of authority but knew I had to handle the current situation. It turned out fine, by the way.

Conversely, it means you can't let jealousy get to you with exes. I used to let envy blind me badly in the past—even if a boyfriend managed to remain congenial with an ex, the whole bond made me feel rattled as hell. Now that I'm with a person who's ex will be around in a close way forever and ever amen, I have to be OK with that. Which is the adult thing to do anyway. We can't let ourselves feel threatened for no viable reason.

He knows the world doesn't revolve around him

This can be a difficult quality to find in this world of overgrown Peter Pans on the hunt for their own Mother figure—a person to handle all the less savory household duties, remind them to go to the doctor, praise them constantly, hinge their daily or long-term plans on what Pan wants or says he needs. This situation is different, because he already takes on that role for his child while still taking decent care of himself. Playing Mother to a series of adult Peter Pans got old, so this kind of attitude is a very welcome change of pace.

He is deliberate

Since there's a kid involved, he isn't trying to be all willy-nilly with decisions in life—both those that do and don't concern you. That's pretty hot, TBH.

You can dodge responsibility for your music choices

When 'Uptown Funk' happens six times in a row, I can blame that on the kid (which is true). Same with Katy Perry (which might be an extrapolation or even just my idea).

It's hard to gross him out

Possibly one of the best treats of dating a dad. If your cat got secretly sick and he steps barefoot into a pile of barf, he doesn't love it but he understands that happens (probably because he has experience direct skin-to-someone else's-barf contact before). He also doesn't panic about periods or farts or other body stuff.

Dating Single Parents Reddit

His place is gonna be messy..forever

Cleaning is one of my favorite forms of therapy, likely because if I'm in a highly cluttered space physically, that transfers mentally and makes me feel like a stressed-out trashcan. Very early in this relationship, I suggested I help my boyfriend with an intense cleaning sesh of his kitchen. We had a lot of wine and played loud punk and soon it was gleaming. This lasted about 36 hours. With a child and full-time job and other luxurious duties such as bathing oneself and staying fed (AND keeping the kid fed), cleaning falls to the wayside. Besides not having enough time to clean, kids are just miraculously mess-inducing machines. Tireless ones. As such, I try to see this situation as an opportunity to relax my OCD tendencies and work to become a more patient, understanding person. Of course my apartment is much cleaner—because I only have to account for me. It isn't fair to hold him to the same standard.

You learn how to relinquish some control

I recognize I have some control freak tendencies, relationships included. A lot of life is outside our control and dating someone with a child is a very effective reminder that no matter what, we can't always call the shots. We have to be adaptable. As such, I waited until my boyfriend thought it would be OK to introduce me to his kid. And even then, it's not like I leapt from a cake and shouted, 'I AM YOUR NEW MOM!!!!!!!!!!!' Not at all. I'm still just a buddy who kicks it from time to time to join in on eating pizza or playing 'balloon' or the occasional ride home from school. When and if my boyfriend wants to explain my role in his life to his child, that's not really up to me. It's a discussion he and I can have, but it's not my endeavor to pilot.

You get a bit of perspective about your own age..

It's fun to make fun of Oldsters until you realize you are now one. This is highlighted by the frequency at which you offer anecdotes children don't want to hear, always marked with the beginning, 'When I was a kid..' They don't care, probably. They just don't need to hear about how your lack of skills with Donkey Kong at age seven feeds into your lack of skills with Mario Kart Racing at age 27. They're just stoked to authentically beat an adult.

..and your general level of importance.

Not to say my boyfriend treats me like I'm not important; He treats me with total kindness and respect. It's just that I have dated people in the past who put me on a pedestal, and you know what? The oxygen gets pretty thin up there. Although I'm sure it's meant as an appreciative gesture, it's unrealistic and puts a lot of pressure on the person sitting on top of it. Dating a parent, though, means no matter what, there is always going to be someone more important than I am in the mix. And I am so so OK with that.

There's no room for jealousy

If a sitter falls through last-minute, that means reservations gotta be canceled and dinner gets moved to the living room and the main dish will probably be pizza. You can't take it personally if homie is late because his child's mother got a flat tire so he had to go help out. You also can't get suspicious when he's on the phone with her a lot. These are complicated waters to navigate and if you're even to dip a few toes beneath the surface, you gotta be able to resign yourself to faith and trust—two things that ought to be present in any grown-ass relationship anyway. It's just here, it's especially non-negotiable.

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Reddit Dating Advice

Shit doesn't have to be so serious

I never babysat growing up and none my nieces and nephews live close by, so I don't actually have much experience hanging out with kids. The first time I met my boyfriend's child, I was 900 times more nervous than meeting any adult. What were we supposed to do or talk about? 'Seriously, whatever,' he instructed. After a while, the nerves dissolved and we were playing a stirring game of 'balloon,' which entails whacking a balloon back and forth between two or three people in a living room. Extra rules vary, but usually Taylor Swift is a necessary soundtrack. Things just don't have to be so serious in the sense that kids are very fun and it's almost astounding how quickly you can reverse back to such an easily entertained brain space. It's freeing to launch into some weird accent and spike a deflating balloon in the air without fear of being judged. It scratches a specific existential itch.

There's no ego

Because guess who makes the weird accent and plays balloon when you're not around? Conversely, though— Gaydia gay dating site reviews.

You can have serious conversations without scaring each other

Although I'm sure there are exceptions, most of the time when a single dad is dating, he isn't just screwing around. It's surprisingly refreshing to sink into a relationship and have the comfortable freedom to discuss individual big-scale hopes and goals. In other relationships, talking about the future at all can often be exactly the catalyst to send Pan off packing for a return and permanent trip to Neverland.

You retain a lot of your own time

Often, especially in new relationships, it can be hard to balance love stuff and friends. https://dateflight398.tumblr.com/post/658104267855577088/catholic-dating-app-free. Assuming you're in a situation with split custody in a local setting, that means half the time you get to yourself. It helps slow things down early on and maintain other hobbies, tinkerings, friendships, and such in your own life. It's the antithesis to smothering and fosters vital independence.

Images: TriStar Picturs; Giphy(23); Beca Grimm

[radramblog]

A recap of a D&D One-shot: The B-Team

This is a little bit late, frankly, since the one-shot in question took place quite some time ago. But it’s pseudo-sequel is upcoming, and I’ve been building a character for that, so.

The B-Team was a very cool and good one-shot that turned into a two-shot because things kinda just kept going on for a bit, and that’s okay because we were having fun. It was the first D&D (or tabletop in general, excluding TCGs) I’d played in quite a while, since nobody’s campaigns had spare space and it’s not like I feel experienced enough to DM my own one.

It was also heavily inspired (I believe) by a movie I haven’t seen, so until it was literally spelled out for me I had no idea about that. Oops. Anyway.

I’m not sure this is going to be the most interesting content, but this is also going to nudge my memory about the setting and such, which is relevant for one shot two, so. At the very least, my mates who read this and weren’t there can get a rundown, even if it’s a little late.

We did so much crime.

The B-Team opens with our titular party returning to Huckston (a city I had assumed was spelled differently) from a job for local mob boss Seamus Greenleaf, a halfling sorcerer whose accent was as silly as his name implied. Dude was basically an extremely dangerous leprechaun. Said job involved the retrieval of a ring whose name I forgot but basically just gives regenerative immortality.

Our party was comprised of 4 members, each with a very particular set of skills that probably would have worked a little better if we’d communicated better beforehand. We had Prissy, a Half-Elf Courtesan and Wizard who was theoretically the party face but more importantly a nigh-untouchable Bladesinger, Vael, a Human Circle of the Shepherd druid who is likely single-handedly responsible for getting that subclass softbanned from our tables for just spamming rats and bears everywhere and making keeping track of things a pain, and Stitches, a Half-Orc Rogue who had to take up the tank/melee role even though their class was not suited to it, because the rest of the party was casters.

And then there was my character, Parri. A Kobold Artificer/Alchemist, who I’d essentially flavoured as someone who digs through dumpsters to find usable components to do the grossest possible magi/science possible. I’d deliberately taken spells that were less useful than they were flavourful- this snappy mans is very likely to have Grease handy since he’s probably rooted around in a nasty restaurant bin, he’ll have Heat Metal (a spell I didn’t realise was as good as it is) since that would be a useful tool for making things to hold dangerous ingredients, and y’all know he’s taking Acid Arrow. Actually, you get that one for free as an Alchemist anyway, so.

Parri was…interesting to play, to say the least. I’m sure people complain a lot about this sort of thing, but his accuracy with spells was frustrating at best. Alchemical Savant, on the other hand, was an excellent little boon that made sure said spells were dealing some sexy damage. I probably goofed up when I took Cantrips- Poison Spray was solid enough, but Mending was something I’m pretty sure I never used- while it makes sense for someone going through garbage to want to fix up the things they find, we did a lot more breaking than we did fixing. Parri was also a major Critical magnet, including on the opening turn of the final battle, so he spent a lot of time healing himself with various abilities.

Artificer is also a class I will probably wait a while before going back to, because it has a lot of little tinkering going on, appropriately enough. By level 9, where we ended the campaign, he had a sizable pile of spells with 3 levels, the Magical Tinkering ability to basically have a bunch of little things that do semi-useful stuff, 6 infusions- basically self-made magic items, with a huge list to pick from and 3 active at a time, the ability to make tools at will, two randomised Experimental Elixirs every long rest, that also give temporary HP, the ability to cure statuses and diseases pretty much at will, and the extremely useful Flash of Genius feature for yourself and allies. Added onto the Kobold stuff of Grovel, Cower and Beg (an ability that, despite being nutso bonkers, I literally Never Used), there was a lot to keep track of, and I’m much more keen to go back to something a little simpler.

These 4…adventurers? Would show up to Greenleaf and hand over the ring, only to discover that it was not the ring they had assumed it was, or at least, it didn’t seem to work. Assuming we, his loyal hench-group, were trying to screw him, he sicced his boys on us, forcing us to flee to safe haven, and attempt to make a next move.

Each of our characters had a person or group we knew in the city who could help (I deadass don’t remember Vael’s one, though), and as a team now being hunted by the largest gang around, we were hunting for options. Stitches had family working in the docks, who fortunately knew a guy who could promise us safe passage the hell out of dodge- and considering the circumstances, that seemed like the best idea if we wanted to keep our lives. His fee, however, was well beyond our price point, so our goal was, in fact, to get rich quick. For our lives.

And that’s just what we did, using the only thing we knew best: Crimes. Using Prissy’s contact- a hole-in-the-wall bar she used to work at (or at least, she knows the owner), we had ourselves a relatively safe base to work from for a few days, from which we could sneak off to the city’s underbelly- literal in this case, since it was in the sewerage- and find jobs of Questionable Repute to do. Lucrative, but dangerous. We took a couple contracts, bought some shit from Parri’s contact (Black Market Magic Items!), and got to work.

It is worth noting that, of course, our travel was not particularly free, as the price Greenleaf put on our heads was astronomical. So just about everywhere we went, we were met with someone or another trying to kill us for a reward. This was a great excuse to have Lots of Fights, but it meant that our resources were somewhat limited. Everything from goblins to fully trained Dragonborn warriors and tamed Drakes was on our ass, and fortunately, we survived each encounter.

The first job we took was pretty much the reason the game was extended to a second session- the assassination of a major noble pretty much turned into a murderous heist movie scene. With the noble in question being a sleazeball, it’s not like we really minded (Parri was evil-aligned anyway). It ended up a surprisingly involved plan, with Vael shapeshifting into a rat and Stitches doing Rogue Shit in the background to keep things moving, Prissy doing what courtesans do best and stab people to death in bed, and Parri disguising as a waiter, doing not a great job of it, but eventually enabling the escape by causing a distraction in the form of setting loose the noble’s pet Lion (via melting the chains, because subtlety is dead) and fleeing in the ensuing chaos. It was kind of a blast to put together, though particularly nerve-wracking- especially because if anything went wrong, or the set-lion-loose plan failed, Parri was in the middle of a room with many, many guards.

But it did go right, and the Lion even got to survive, after shrugging off a spell or two from the wizards guarding the place, so we got paid, called it a night, and called it a day in game because it was like 6 or something at this point I think.

After a week (or two?), we reconvened for the second part of what was now the B-Team two-shot. Our objective of Get Gold was not fully completed, but we’d gotten the majority of our funding sorted, so our next job would be something a bit easier and safer. As it turns out, that job would be Bullying Shopkeepers for Protection Money, something that made me vaguely uncomfortable IRL but hey, it’s only game.

Over the course of this job, we threatened a local blacksmith, a potion-seller (Parri made off with a brew or two), and a small local Goblin gang named the Green Mongrels. While this particular altercation turned violent, Prissy had just picked up Fireball, so you can guess how that one went. Two of the gang’s three leaders ended up so much dust on the ground, let alone the grunts, and the final one surrendered, which was appreciated. Especially since it meant we had a couple extra spell slots for the fight on the way back, being the one with the aforementioned tamed drakes.

Cash in hand, it was now time to get ourselves smuggled out of dodge, levelling up in the process. We actually levelled a few times over the course of the campaign, an accelerated pace mostly because it’s a short thing so it doesn’t really matter, and because levelling is both fun and lets the GM throw harder things at us.

Our attempt at escape was somewhat thwarted, as upon reaching the shore and farewelling our now quite rich trafficker, we were ambushed by our final foes. Because of course, if there was a B-Team, there would of course be an A-Team. This was a pretty interesting idea for a fight, a squad of four deliberately mirroring our own- A Goblin Artificer on the Artillerist stream, a Rogue preferring bows to swords and spending most of their time peppering us with arrows while stuck to the side of a cliff, a Druid that turned themselves into a monster rather than summoning like ours did, and a Wizard who’s class I don’t really know but boy did he like Counterspells.

This was a long, and protracted, and kind of brutal fight that took a lot out of the group, and I’m pretty sure more than one person (and by that I mean more than Parri, because he got shot right in the face for a crit immediately) was downed over the course of it. But eventually, the Rogue was knocked off the cliff enough times, the Wizard was downed and drowned, the Druid ran out of things to transform into, and the Artificer got taken apart with extreme prejudice.

But it didn’t seem to be over. As we were scrounging the bodies, someone attacked Stitches, and it was unclear whom or from where. We assumed it was the Wizard having somehow survived, as he’d been walking on water and thus his body ended up in the depths- couldn’t find it. Parri casts detect magic, and one very dead Wizard was found.

And a very suspicious Necromantic signature coming from Vael.

Turns out he’d had the reviving ring the whole time, and it was driving him completely mad. A final fight ensued, arguably our biggest damage dealer, currently unable to die, against the remainder of the party. And it was similarly brutal.

The tech ended up being for our not particularly strong characters to have to get close enough to pry the ring off his fingers so that they could actually become cold and dead. This was somewhat complicated by Parri getting very quickly downed by bats and bears, and Stitches being actually killed by such. After some healing and teleportation thanks to Prissy, however, we were just able to not only get the ring and finally put Vael down, but Parri, having recently learned Revifify and acquiring a jewel to burn on it, managed to un-kill Stitches.

Betrayal is a great way to make the closing moments of an adventure particularly memorable, I think.

Put mostly together, the ring and bodies disposed of (no-one holding on to this fucker anymore, ideally), 3/4ths of the B-Team wandered off into the sunrise, to restart their lives anew somewhere else. I like to imagine Parri opened a potion shop somewhere, but who knows if any town would actually suffer a Kobold long enough for him to do so.

And that was the campaign. It was a lot of fun, though it had been so long since a previous tabletop adventure that I don’t really have a lot to compare it to. The table seemed to get along well enough (I mean we were all friends beforehand, so der), aside from some somewhat awkward pauses.

And considering the sequel to this campaign is coming, with different characters and the same people (now significantly less stressed out since the Uni break is here), I’m extremely excited to get back into it. I have a new extremely small man to play as, and I couldn’t be happier to bring him to the table. Just…not as many nonsense abilities this time.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

The Bees 2018 Manifesto

Right! So! I have often had very bad luck keep new year’s resolutions, so I’m not going to call these ‘resolutions’ exactly, more like... attainable goals for lifestyle changes and guidelines for creative progression. And if it seems like a lot, well, that’s cuz it is- I’ve proved to myself that I CAN deal with a lot of plates spinning at once, and I think I need to keep it up a bit lest I lapse once again into total inactivity. So!

Attainable Lifestyle Goals:

Fitness- no more couch potato. I downloaded this beginner fitness running routine and podcast thing and I’m gonna try and keep that up as best I can! I don’t have a goal weight or anything like that in mind, I just wanna get into a comfortable routine of exercise that keeps me healthier. And if one of these days I have gorgeous defined arms like Wonder Woman, well, that’s just a bonus.

Financial- the parents have been dead wonderful letting me take some time off to be a leech and figure things out for a while, but I need to start building up my confidence and independence, as well as my bank account. Job hunting is high on the agenda.

Friendships- this has been a tough year for some, and a great year for others. I have to work at letting go of some resentments, and also holding on to some of the good stuff. I need to try and be more present in peoples’ lives, whether it be my ‘IRL’ friends or my lovely, gorgeous pocket friends (psssst- that’s you guys!). NGL, this will be the one I struggle the most with. But I’m gonna try! If I can, I want to try and make sure that I talk to another person outside my family every day, even if it’s just a quick messenger chat. And I’ll try not to let a person I want to stay in touch with go longer than two months without hearing from me.

Creative Progression Guidelines:

Obviously you all KNOW what a sucker I am for picking up story ideas like pretty shells on a beach and tossing them in my overflowing WIP folder without a thought for the consequences. And while I’m sure I’ll still be doing that a fair bit, some things demand more attention. So, this year my goal is to finish:

Stuck in the Middle (AKA Spaced AU part 2)- my plan is coming together, I’ve just got a few more bits to straighten out and then it can be full steam ahead with the writing! Chock-a-block with ideas after season 2!

The 80s AU- this one may be recent but it’s sure as heck close to my heart now, especially since writing it is an awesome and fun bonding experience with @kieren-fucking-walker, so it’s up towards the top of me list!

A handful of one-shots/prompt fics that I’ve had in the works forever but never quite made the push to finish- I don’t wanna give spoilers but I refer to them in my head as: deleted scenes from the evidence room floor, angsty mcangstfest, obvious crossover, and less-obvious crossover. Granted, that last one is a very open-ended thing and mostly for fun so I’m not exactly planning to finish it, but I’d defo like to put in at least a fraction of the work that @victorluvsalice has been doing! And obvs I’ve got more things in the works but those? Those are the priorities. 

Annnnnd.... that’s about it! For now. I’m not gonna resolve to stop biting my nails again, that just doesn’t happen, it’s been my resolution for like eight years and frankly I’m sick of it. If it happens, it’ll happen.

And like, obviously this isn’t gonna be the last y’all hear of me this year- I’m gonna be fucking around on here like usual, and I maaaaay even be posting a little thing soon, but I just wanna say you guys... you’ve really made this year, like, a year. I feel like 2017 is one of those years that’s gonna stay with me, and not for horrible reasons. I mean, yes, for horrible reasons, but also for amazing good awesome reasons because you dudes have really helped me through some shit and helped me rediscover my mojo so... thank you. 

Wishing you all the love and positivity in the world for 2018 and beyond!

[sandjob]

First journal, first journal!!! It’s not necessarily mundane, but it’s also not exciting.

First of all, hi, hello. I’m a paranoid little shit so I made a secret blog for secret journals. Which aren’t really secret. Eh. 

A lot of this journal is sort of disjointed. I’m really tired and I’ve been drinking a bit, sorry...

I went to the meeting for the local paranormal group that I’m in. I’m sort of like a really shitty cryptid. All the members know about me, but a lot of them haven’t seen me before. It’s a weird situation, but not a bad one. I’ve been a member since around when the group first started, and I’ve been through... just about every possible job in it, I guess? I was the co-owner at one point, the tech manager at another point, and ended up just sort of... Sitting as the permanent “expert” on “negative entities” or whatever.

I am only in that position because I’m the only one who doesn’t mind dealing with them, and I’m pretty ok at cleansing places. It’s... Not a high bar. I sound cocky but I’m not, it’s really like... Just weird. I’m not even an expert. I don’t know shit. I just work here.

...Anyway. I think a lot of the reason why I get talked up is because of my dad, he’s the owner of a big fancy group in TX. He works with our group sometimes, and gives us advice, and is 500% more competent than I am.

E (the owner) gave me a list of ghost hunting apps to test out today. It’s about a page and a half long... I’m gonna research each app, write what I find, and then test them all. I’m really excited about this! I am gonna bribe King to help me. I also asked three other spirits for help... A, Mirror, and Red. I know they’re all strong enough to mess with real equipment, so it should work out well, plus, since I know them, I can tell if they say something relevant, and all that.

I remember the time King spoke using my ghost box. I was so damn excited. After that, I’ve been really thrilled about testing ghost hunting equipment with him.

Anyway! That meeting was pretty awkward. I went home and started drinking with V and M on Skype. V started channeling, but I’m not sure who at what point. It was pretty interesting to see (read?) because I’d never seen anyone else channel before, and I only did it myself just recently. I’d done small stuff before, but never any full body things before that.

M went to bed pretty fast (It was pretty damn late where she was, so I’m not surprised at all) but V and I continued talking for a few hours...

At one point, I felt a particularly strong emotion, and it was like the feeling of a latch clicking into place. I’ve been trying to learn more about who I am (or possibly, was?) lately, and I think I figured out something small. It’s a good thing, too. 

Here’s another weird sensation, it’s like someone is smiling behind my mouth. It’s weird. It’s not a bad thing or anything like that, just a feeling I was having tonight. It’s not really in a literal sense, either, I dunno. It makes sense to me, I guess.

I have to warn myself again, because I will forget. Something is going to happen. It’s not actually a thing, though. I’ll think King did something bad, but it won’t really have been. This is just like the time I got that reading.

I know ahead of time that it’ll happen. King won’t have done anything wrong, but I’ll still become upset because I’m so paranoid that I’ll think he did.

I even had solid proof that he didn’t, last time!

And that next time, where he literally told me he didn’t do anything, and I STILL believed the other person. Even later on, when I had evidence that he hadn’t done it. I need to remember that I can trust him. 

Just because other people have hurt me before doesn’t mean that he will.

This time, he promised me that he would have zero involvement. Promises are an extremely big deal with him. Like, huge. I need to remember, please let me remember when it happens... I hope he shows me more signs, just in case. I am too fucking paranoid.

Today I got to know a new RL friend a bit better. I met her through the group I joined recently... I was worried to tell anyone IRL that much about my spiritual beliefs, but it turned out that she had very similar beliefs! It sounds like a lot of people in the group do... I was worried about looking like a weirdo for no reason... 

I told her about King, and who he was. I sort of feel like I can trust her... Probably... 

Talking to her was really interesting! She said some things she noticed about me that were... I don’t know, they felt right, somehow. She seems good at what she does.

I think there is more I want to say, but I’m so tired right now, haha...

OH! Uhm... Added note, again. I know more about King than I tell anyone I do, and sometimes I forget that, somehow. 

Also, we’re partners. Neither of us is in charge of the other... We work together, and that’s how it is. I know he’s way stronger than me, but he treats me like an equal, and that’s really... It means a lot to me.

I’m not really used to this “love and respect” business... I keep waiting for something to go wrong, even though nothing about him gives me the feeling that he would do anything wrong to me. If anything ruins this, it will be my own paranoia, honestly.