#I’ve been self medicating migraines for almost 100 days now

[emeraldcreeper]

Biting maiming and killing the system of healthcare

[arielleyoga-blog1]

Positivity

When I first decided I wanted to write a blog, I asked my instagram buddies what topic’s they’d like to hear about. And one that I got more than once was “How are you always so positive?” 

Which was surprising to read more than once, as well as flattering. One of my friends, who I think is the bubbliest sweetest angel on earth specifically said “Even when you’re having a hard day or going through a tough time you’re so positive and joyful. How?!”

And it got me thinking...am I actually that positive of a person? And if so, just like they asked...how? I think the first part has to do with my natural disposition: I have always been a super sweet kid. I always cared about other people, and animals (animals more duh), and have ever since I was little really seen the good in everyone and wanted the best. That’s definitely just part of who I am, I think. However, it’s not all of who I am.

I mentioned in my last blog that I suffered from clinical depression in college. Before that, when I was young I had some body image issues and eating issues. I’ve always had issues feeling confident: in fact, this blog is really REALLY hard and scary for me. I just don’t feel like anyone cares. My mind instantly goes to “Why would anyone care? Who am I? I’m not special.” While it’s natural for me to see the good in others, it is also natural for me to see the not-good in myself. So the jump from that to depression took one thing: the death of my friend Scott Preston. 

Scott and I met freshman year in high school and we just clicked. We were definitely an odd pair of friends, but I saw the good in him and loved him very much.  He ended up leaving our school, but we stayed in touch and I’d go hang out with him sometimes at lunch or after school on the days I had my mom’s car. 

Scott smoked pot a lot: but so did a lot of my friends. I didn’t...yet. So it wasn’t a big deal or alarm for me. Scott also, like me, got migraines. So, one day when we were hanging out after I had surgery on my hand, he asked for my extra vicodin. Again, being the sweet-seeing the best in people-young girl that I was, I didn’t even think about it. Plus he said it was for his migraines. I gave him the vicodin. 

A week later, his dad came in and yelled at him about his grandmother’s medication being missing. After his dad walked out, he admitted he was taking her meds from her. All I could muster up was “Scott, you shouldn’t do that. You should be careful.” And about a month later, he crashed his Dodge Ram into a tree almost killing himself and his friend. He went into rehab and I just kept waiting to call. Feeling responsible somehow. My feelings of guilt for not saying more kept me from calling. And my need to be liked and not upset people is what kept me from saying more that afternoon when I had the chance. 

I talked about him to my new college friends, and really was planning on calling him soon. And then, I got a phone call that Scott was dead. And I took it all on as my fault. I became incredibly depressed and was in danger of seriously hurting myself. I got help, saw a therapist who sent me to a psychiatrist and got put on medication. Then more medication. Which made me numb. But not depressed. When I smoked pot it brought me up enough that I was my old self. But I didn’t want to be taking antidepressants and smoking pot to feel normal. So, I made the decision when I ran out of meds to just not renew my prescription knowing that the chances of my depression coming back was pretty much 100%. 

And guess what? I was right, I relapsed. And something else happened in my life that was pretty terrible. But I remember that when that second event occurred I said “Losing Scott took me to a dark place, and I will not give this other person the honor to mean as much to me as Scott did and pull me back. I’ll get through this.” I talked A LOT about my feelings. I journaled. I did yoga. And I let myself cry when I wanted to. Eventually, I came up for air. I personally give yoga all the credit: But I think my willpower had a lot to do with it too.

Ever since then, it truly has been a “It’s not worth it to go back there” mentality to me. I know what it’s like to want to end it, I know what it’s like to hurt yourself, I know what it’s like to live in this dark cloud where you feel nothing but sad and empty. And life is too short to live that way. 

So how do I stay positive? Well, I constantly focus on the things I HAVE!

We live in a culture that thrives off of us being in a “lack” mentality. Like sheep. “I don’t have time” is usually the thought when we wake up. I don’t have energy, I don’t have enough money, I’m not skinny enough...when I make this much money or have this phone or this car...blah blah bullshit. YOU HAVE SO MUCH. 

I always focus on the gifts of my life: which truly are plentiful. I’m healthy. I have use of my limbs. I can breathe without machines. I live in a country that for the most part allows me as a woman to LIVE (right now some horrible stuff is happening in the South and Midwest) but: I was able to get an education. I went to the top public college in the country UCLA, thanks to loans that I’m still paying off, grants, and work study. I work hard and I am grateful I get to work. I get to vote. I can wear whatever I want. I have a strong amazing mom that supports me even when she doesn’t agree with me. My list goes on!

And when things have gotten bad: like when my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and my whole world came crumbling down, I found a way through. I cried, I was scared.  I journaled and I prayed and I thanked God for finding it early and for giving us the opportunity to get her healthy. I focused not on my fear or her cancer, but on her recovery even before we knew if that was a thing. I was thankful I had friends that I could call when she told me so they could rally around me for support. That bought groceries and meals for us, that helped ME get through it: because as an only child of a single parent it was a lot to handle. It’s a lot to handle no matter what: it’s cancer. I was thankful that I had the ability to work through my fear and sadness at my job. Teaching yoga helped me, and even more so being able to talk with my students about it: in fact, one class two of my student’s asked me straight up what was going on: Mellisa and Heather. And they both had dealt with very similar things and were there for me. What a blessing!  Now, every time...okay, not EVERY, but almost every time I get frustrated or annoyed with my mom, I remind myself that I’d rather her be here alive and healthy to drive me nuts than for her to be gone. I’m so grateful she’s cancer-free now! Oh moms! 

I focus on the good. It’s a HABIT you have to cultivate, like working out and eating well. BUT it makes it so when you get in a car accident: you’re grateful it wasn’t worse. So when you’re in traffic: you’re grateful you have a vehicle and a place to go. When somebody is a dick: you’re grateful you aren’t them and don’t treat people like that. 

Things can ALWAYS be worse. And for me, they have been. So what a gift it is to have this moment, and to choose to focus on how fortunate I am and how much I have.

I make a conscious decision to live life through a lens of gratitude and abundance, not of lacking. You can do that, too! I know the best way to start, is to every single day think of 5 things you’re thankful for. You can do it in the morning in bed, or before bed in a gratitude journal, OR BOTH! Also: tell your friend’s you appreciate them out of the blue. When you put that good out there, it comes back to you!

And that doesn’t mean I don’t get sad or mad. But when I do, I just let that happen. I feel it, because that’s important. I’ll usually vent to my husband or one of my best friends. And then eventually, I breathe and let it go and focus on the good. It’s not always easy. There are times where my mind is like “yes I know this could be worse...” but my heart is still upset. But eventually, you get there.

Also, sometimes, I think of a friend I’ve lost-like the amazing Laura Allio. And if I’m about to complain about something, I remember how much I wish she were alive to be able to bitch about it...and also that she wouldn’t. And that it’s a gift to even be able to complain, or move my body when I’m tired, to have a job to have to go to...yada yada. And that will get me right back on track. 

My mom always used to say to me growing up (because she had quite an emotional daughter that cried a lot) “Is this going to bother you in 3 days? In 3 weeks? In 3 months? THEN LET IT GO!’ lol And she's right. As mom’s tend to be. Most of the things we get SO bogged down by, don't affect us a few days later. So why let it taint the day you’re living now? Another thing I did that was SO helpful with journaling are mantra meditations. So I pick a few mantra’s I like and I play some binaural beats from youtube. I sit with my eyes closed. I inhale, and on my exhale I say the mantra. Sometimes out loud. Sometimes in my head. Certain mantras will INSTANTLY create a smile. Here are some of my favorites:

 “I deserve love.”

“I am the light.”

“My income is constantly increasing.”

“I allow my life to move with ease and joy.”

If you haven't heard of Louise Hay, I HIGHLY SUGGEST looking her up. One of her go-to’s is to say “I love you (enter your name here)” while looking in the mirror. She has an amazing little book called “Heal your body” where she gives you mantras for actual ailments your body! It’s AMAZING! I’m thankful for you. For your support. For your time. For reading this. For being here in the world. Remember to choose to look at how abundant you are! I mean, you’re reading a blog on the internet right now! WHAT IS THAT?! There are people in this world that don’t even have clean water, not to mention the ability to sit somewhere (because so help me god if you are driving I will come after you) and read a blog post about positivity!

Thank you thank you! 

[awakeneedsasleep]

Today’s been a day, y’all.

I had to come home early because of cramps. I was able to work through them yesterday (although I did leave an hour early, but I’m allowed to do that one day a week since I’m coming into work earlier than I usually do. Trust me, my coworker-a statistician-did the math, and I checked it). And I feel so bad about doing it. Guilty, even though they were bad to the point of being mentally distracting, physically nearly unbearable, nauseating, and affecting me from ribcage to knees.

But I felt guilty because I’m working on interesting things at work. I felt guilty because I didn’t tell my boss in person. Guilty because I haven’t seen a doctor yet since I’ve moved. Guilty because even after seeing a half-dozen different flavors of doctors in a year and a half, I haven’t gotten a diagnosis or treatment that’s helped me solve the problem. Guilty because I’m not working myself into exhaustion like I was doing in college. Guilty because my boss thinks I should be turning things over a little faster (this is 100% a brain goblin interpretation of a conversation I had with him yesterday).

And I know I can’t keep living like this. I need answers, I need balance. I know I’m doing as much as I sustainably can right now, but it’s unsatisfying mentally. I want more challenges that won’t push me over the edge. And I know I can’t do more, because when I try to do more, good habits I have in place start getting left behind. I want to turn all of the hard work I’ve put into my life into success. I don’t want to be afraid of energy levels or activity levels or migraines or periods or sleep or memory.

I don’t know what this all means for me. I think I know what I need to do, but I’m scared. I know I’m going to have to be brave and self advocate, and I’m still probably going to get kicked down again and again and have to pick myself up and do it again. That’s just what the medical system is for symptoms and lives like this.

But if you’re doing anything like this, just know that I’m proud of you. We live in a culture that pays lip service to hard work and perseverance and bravery and self-discipline, but actually only celebrate those things when they lead to the creation of new things. If you’re dealing with what I am (and most spoonies are dealing with a heck of a lot more), you’re doing all of those things for almost everything you do in your life, and I’m proud of you.

For the people who love me, thank you. I’m still learning how to cope and what that even means, so I appreciate your concern and support. And cat pics/gifs.

[penelopebarbalios]

(Similar post as earlier, but pricing for #blankcomiccover #commissions ) . . . Hey guys. I have been fighting with the decision for a while now to alter my #commission pricing. There's a part of me that's like, "My time and skillset are valuble!" But then I'm also like, "if I change my prices, all my loyal customers and patrons that I've earned over the years will despise me and slip away." Thinking these thoughts has made me spiral into a MASSIVE #DEPRESSION which is part of the reason why I have been posting less and less. Because if I'm scared to loose my followers and customers, I DON'T think my time and skills are valuable, then I just STOP making #art all together. It's a sad, but mostly a super dumb, viscous cycle. I've also been in another #lupus #flareup with migraines for several days straight, so I wasnt able to see from the auras I'd get. I'm doing better now, but I feel like I still have a longgg way to go. I'm almost 31 and I'm like, "this self pity BS has GOT TO STOP" but then all those little self doubting voices creep on back. I think I need an electric fly swatter for them. Did you know those ARE REAL? They sell them at Walmart, look like tennisrackets & are powered by 4 DCell batteries. NO LIE! I dont know if they work on self-doubt, but they're supposed to work on flies XD LOL . . . SO essentially, this is the price guide I'll be using from now on incase anyone is interested in commissioning work from me. Most ppl gotta eat, live under a roof, pay bills, and medicate for 100+diagnosis they have. That's life, and it's taken me till now to see that it's ok to work for the salary you deserve. I love you all and appreciate all the support you've given me over the years. Here's to plenty more of making LOTS OF ART <3 . . . #artistsoninstagram #artistsontumblr #pbarbart #fantasyartist #scifiartist #animeartist #personal #mentalhealth #chronicillness #chronicpain #spoonie #bnha #bokunoheroacademia #myheroacademia #dragonballfighterz #android21 https://www.instagram.com/p/BnFn2ZYAJRl/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=betggp9tcze1

[bigbluebarns-blog]

ABLEISM REDUX

Well… There are so many different dimensions of disability that people can be ableist toward those with different disabilities than their own. …And it’s only in the last couple of generations (within my lifetime, at least) that Disability Rights groups have banded together in a common cause (Rather than, say: Rights groups for the blind working only for the blind, Rights groups for Cerebral Palsy working only for Cerebral Palsy, etc.).  Matter of fact, based on my own recollections, I think working together for universal access rights only really got any steam in the 1970s – when I was already a teenager.

Confession time: until relatively recently (like, the last 10 years, or so), as a physically disabled person, I was biased against those with intellectual disabilities, and would get quite insulted if anyone mistakenly thought I was “R

—–ed.”

@theborkplanet IDK HOW TO SEPARATE MY COMMENTS FROM YOURS AND COMMENTS FROM YOURS. HENCE THE CAPS. 

I WAS ALSO BIASED AND PROBABLY STILL AM SOMEWHAT, TOWARD PPL WITH INTELLECTUAL DISABILITIES(ID). I TOO USED THE R WORD. GROWING UP MY EXP WITH PPL W/ ID WERE NEGATIVE OR GROSS, AND NO ONE EVER BOTHERED TO EXPLAIN SOMEONE’S ID TO ME, SO ALL I KNEW WAS NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS EG JO GRABS STUFF AND SCREAMS; NO ONE EVER EXPLAINED HER AUTISM. MOE HAS DOWNS SYNDROME, IS OBSESSED WITH SAYING “BOOBIES” LOVES THE EFFING BEACH BOYS AND FARTS A LOT AND NEVER SHUTS UP; HOW ANNOYING; NO ONE EVER TOLD ME ABOUT PERSEVERATING, OR THAT DS CAN CAUSE GI PROBS SOMETIMES. AL MUTTERS, HE STINKS, AND HE KNOCKED OUT HIS AIDE SO I’M AFRAID THAT AL WILL GET ANGRY WITH ME AND KNOCK ME OUT; NO ONE EVER EXPLAINS HIS CONDITION, SO I GLEAN MY INFO FROM EAVESDROPPING and RUMORS. THE ABLE-BODIED ADULTS DIDN’T BOTHER TO PROMOTE UNDERSTANDING EVEN THO WE WERE ALL TRAPPED ON THE SAME SPECIAL ED BUS, SO THE PASSENGERS WITHOUT ID TALK SMACK ABOUT THE ONES WITH ID. THE ONE TIME I ASK, “WHAT’S AL HAVE?” ABLEBODIED ADULT SHAMES ME FOR ASKING AND BLATHERS ABOUT CONFIDENTIALITY. NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY MY PREJUDICE; JUST RELATING EXP. I’M ALSO WORKING THRU IT BUT U R RIGHT; NEVER 100% DONE. 

I’m working through it, and like to think I’m getting better (and one huge part of that is learning just how deep and intertwined institutionalized ableism really is, in our societies). But as with being a White woman dealing with racism, I have to remember that it’s a case of continuing recovery, and not something I will ever be 100% over and done with.

Thanks for sharing, @aegipan-omnicorn. You’re lovely.

@bigbluebarns, I don’t personally know anything about suffering racism, being a white american myself. However, I do know a thing or two about suffering ableism, both at the hands of able-bodied people, and disabled people.

People are incredibly social animals and will band together in groups with other similar people. This is natural, and it is good. It can be healing and cathartic to hang out with people who “get it.” But this tendency can also have an extremely dark side, as we see with “isms.” This is going to get long, so I’m going to break it here in consideration of people’s dashboards. Again, I can only speak to ableism and sexism so please keep that in mind.

OMG, I LOVE THESE NAMES AND TRADEMARKS. DID U INVENT THEM?

Ableisms I have suffered at the hands of disabled people:

The Cripple Police™: These are the people who, in an overzealous bid for limited access available, arbitrarily decide who is disabled enough to use a mobility aid, bathroom stall, parking spot, and even sometimes the label of “disabled.” If you are not Crippled Enough, you can be subject to any form of social punishment they deem to be necessary.

I HATE THE CP AND I’M CONSTANTLY REMINDING PPL THAT U DO NOT HAVE TO APPEAR DISABLED IN ORDER TO USE HANDICAP PARKING. IT’S LIKE THEY WANT U TO WEAR A TAG STATING U R DISABLED SO THEN THEY CAN ASSESS IF U MEET THEIR RANDOM CRITERIA.

Example: I used to be able to walk longer distances with a service dog, but was still a high fall risk. My doctor (a licensed neurologist) prescribed me a parking placard so that none of us had to worry (as much) about me passing out in a parking lot where no one could see me, and getting run over. A lovely woman in a wheelchair, who just happened to park in the accessible spot next to me, proceeded to scream at me and my service dog all the way into the store. A manager rescued me by going along with my ruse of knowing him, and invited me into the back were I fucking hid away until they told me she had left the store. It. Was. Scary.

EGAD SOUNDS HORRIBLE. BUT YEAH THERE IS A DISABILITY HIERARCHY

The Born This Ways™ : The experience between people who were born disabled, and who acquired disability later in life, vary a great deal from one another. BTW ableist types actively minimize the experiences of other disabled people, simply because they hadn’t been baptized since birth by xyz. In other words, the suffering was not identical to their own, thus must be invalid.

Example: I became disabled after adulthood, and tried to find solace after being subjected to ableist responses from friends and family members who were unable to cope with the “broken me.” I found lots of great disabled people who helped me, but I also found people who routinely scoffed at my experiences, again informing me that I was not “disabled enough,” and suggested I was being deliberately weak, or histrionic. Sometimes it was almost eerily word for word what my ableist friends/family said. How strange…

I’VE SEEN THE ACQUIRED DISABILITY IS BETTER. TM ADIBS MIGHT IMPLY, “WELL I’M A QUAD, BUT AT LEAST I GOT TO EXP BEING ABLEBODIED; I’LL HAVE EXP U SADSACK LOSER BTWS WILL NEVER HAVE. I GOT TO BE NORMAL FOR A WHILE” MOST OFTEN I SAW IT COME FROM PARALYZED PPL WHO WISHED THEY COULD WALK AGAIN. I WAS BORN WITH CP AND AB PPL ACTUALLY ASKED ME “WOULD U RATHER BE BTW OR AD?” BEFORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I SAID “BTW, CUZ THATS ALL I KNOW AND I’VE HAD IT FROM DAY1 FALSE EQUIVALENCY WHEREAS ADIBS HAVE TO ADJUST” NOW THO I KNOW THAT EVEN I AS BTW HAVE HAD TO ADJUST TO CHANGING SYMPTOMS. DO U WANT 2 BE A TREE OR A MOUSE...UHHH...FALSE EQUIVALENCY ALERT, CAN’T COMPAPARE APPLE N ORANGE.

The Faker Police™: I think anyone with an invisible illness has experience with this one. This is when people who “look disabled” refuse to believe someone who “does not look disabled,” and proceed to treat them as hysterical attention seekers instead of…well, anyone else. These people often practice double ableisms–I have noticed that many also tend to judge Disabled Enough based on mobility aids. Then, they try to chase the “fakers” out of the community, because everyone knows “fakers” are why we have additional burdens added (like further hurdles to access, government aid, etc).

ALSO IF U HAVE AN INVISIBLE DISABILITY LIKE YOURS AND ME ALSO, I SEE THE “WELL EVERYONE GETS DEPRESSED/SAD/TIRED.” I END UP FEELING LIKE I HAVE JUSTIFY THE DISABLING NATURE OF MY DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TO A WEG. 

Example: Before my condition had progressed to me needing a mobility aid, I was already facing discrimination in the workplace. I requested an accommodation to have the crappy fluorescent lights removed from above my desk, as they provoke bad neurological symptoms. You’d think it was a little thing, but when I asked for advice on dealing with skeptical and belligerent management, I met the same reactions in some disabled people, followed immediately by “Fakers like you are why we see knee-jerk reactions like the word ‘no!’ Come complain when you’re actually disabled and need to have a ramp installed! Until then suck it up!”

The Totally Qualified Disability Judges™: This one seems to arise from the natural tendency of people to compare their situations to the situations of others. If they arbitrarily judge another person’s situation to be better or more favorable, then that person is not As Disabled, or Disabled Enough, or Disabled At All. Then, based on that judgment, they try to socially punish the condemned, or to excommunicate them.

Example: Some conditions are really straightforward and don’t vary widely. People with the condition all seem to have similar limitations. My condition is the exact opposite of that. I have the chronic form of migraine disease. Lots of people get migraines, but not all of them have more than 15 a month, and migraines can last anywhere from a few hours to three days. To some people, pain is the most disabling feature of a migraine, to others, the accompanying neurological weirdness is. (Migraines are often proceeded by cortical spreading depression, a phenomenon also exhibited in epilepsy. Just for an example).

So, when people hear what my condition is, they remember that one lady they used to know who had to lay in the dark for a couple days each month, and wonder why the hell I’m in a wheelchair. It doesn’t make sense to them (who cares that migraines don’t make sense to the most brilliant neurologists in the world), so they decide that I just must not be disabled. Or, if I am, it’s hypochondria. 

 I’VE SEEN: YEAH HAVE U TRIED XYZ CURE? IT REALLY HELPED THAT 1 LADY. IF U DON’T TRY XYZ WELL THEN UR LAZY N ALSO PROBABLY FAKING THE EXTENT OF UR DISABILITY?

Fun fact: Internalizing ableism from medical doctors, and from some close friends and family, and THEN the disabled people I came into contact with later, and from whom I seeked guidance, prompted so much self doubt that I had a licensed psychologist work me up for hypochondria and other related psychological conditions. It…turns out that I am not a hypochondriac. I could not find relief from all of these experiences until I encountered a neurologist familiar with my condition, and fellow disabled people who have been around the block, and who are not so embittered by their experiences that they deigned to expose others to the same.

For that reason, I will always be vocally critical of ableism within our community. I will not sugar coat it, nor will I flatter ableist disableds by giving them another name. That goes for my own ableism, too. Now that I have worked through a lot of my own, I can use my aids with confidence and obtain a freedom that is at least emotionally similar to the one I had when I first formed my adult identity (which was as an abled person).

AH YES, IN MY CASE, INTERNALIZED ABLEISM=ANXIETY N DEPRESSION. STILL NOT SURE IF DISABLED PPL CAN BE TECHNICALLY DISABLED BUT THAT’S JUST LINGUISTIC SEMANTICS.

CLEAERLY WE BOTH KNOW DISABLED PPL ARE CAPABLE OF ASSHOLERY.

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO BOLD TEXT IN POSTS? #TUMBLR NOOB

For an example of sexism from women, see my post Never Underestimate Old Women, in which an old lady cashier schools us for self-righteous activism.

Thanks for the discussion!

[aquarianlights]

I am the anon who asked about nexplanon. I thought it could trigger you, that's why I didn't go into details. I wanted to know if it stops your period or if you are still bleeding? Hope I've been more clear.

Gonna write out a fuckton of details, putting the important things in bold…and then put a completely bolded TL;DR at the end:

I really appreciate the not wanting to trigger me. I thought maybe that was why you didn’t go into detail. That is really respectful and I really appreciate it, but for future reference for you and anyone: If it is medical, scientific, or for educational purposes and does not reference my parts sexually or treat me or my parts as sexual objects and I still remain male in the eyes of whomever is asking me questions, I don’t mind explicit detail.

I really appreciate that, though.

As for the answer….It’s a little complicated.

This is my replacement nexplanon. I had one for three years prior to this one. I got my replacement one put in on 11/22/2017.

With my FIRST nexplanon…the first three years I had it…I didn’t bleed at all. The one and ONLY time I spotted (did not get a full period and did not get ANY associated symptoms…just simply spotted) was when living with my ex-girlfriend and her husband. My ex had VERY alpha-essque hormones. I spotted tiny, tiny bit when living with Chelle but it was so unnoticeable that I didn’t even have to use a pad.

It is completely normal for anyone with female parts that has nexplanon to actually get a full period (even with all the associated symptoms) for the first few months after insertion… And, IF I UNDERSTOOD MY NURSE RIGHT…..(I may not have, coz I’ve been in a total daze this past week+), it’s even possible for people with the appropriate female parts to have full periods with associated symptoms every month on time for the entirety of their time with nexplanon. But every single person I’ve talked to who has nexplanon said that’s really not a thing and their periods, if they got them AT ALL, went away almost immediately after the first few months.

I have a bleeding/clotting disorder that especially affects my periods (and is also something I have to alert tattoo artists to which is why a lot of my tats come out unfinished). When I got my first period at the age of…maybe 13? I was hospitalized because I clotted so badly and I almost bled out entirely. They suggested I take my uterus out immediately because this wasn’t something that was going to go away and I would need to be on a VERY STRONG BC for the rest of my life that either eliminated bleeding/clotting altogether or made it to where I bled/clotted like a normal person’s period, which would still be awful. ALSO, my periods last approximately 2 weeks, give or take a couple days each time. This is normal for my entire family on my mother’s side…it would put my mom and her mom and their mom before that and all my mom’s sisters out of work and out of school and stuff the entire time every month of their period. They didn’t have it as severe as me because they didn’t have the bleeding/clotting disorder to worry about. But they did have as severe cramping as I had that was as bad, if not worse, than labour pains (spoken from women in my family who have been through it, some multiple times). They DIDN’T have something that I didn’t get until my late teens, early 20′s…and on… until I got my nexplanon. The psychological effects of the period. Every single time I got my period, I would wind up in a hospital the day before I actually got it because of the most extreme and impulsive suicide attempts you can imagine. I have NEVER felt such extreme psychological instability as I have when on my period. It’s like…every single disorder I have gets amplified by a million and they all clash and I’m unable to control anything and suddenly my body and mind act on their own and I’m no longer in control and I black out and wake up in a hospital or while being dragged, kicking and screaming, down the hall by orderlies to the floor with a ward on it. The hallucinations, the BPD symptoms, the other schizo symptoms, the homicidal and suicidal symptoms usually being taken over by suicidal, the self harm urges, the inability to make decisions for myself, the panic attacks while all of this is happening, flashbacks to rapes and being in wards and being trapped and sex training and all sorts of different things that i cant remember, …the list goes on and on. ALL AT ONCE. I just wake up and get FLOODED with all of these things all at once and Killian shuts down and idk what or who takes over but whatever does instantly goes for the most dramatic, impulsive, instantaneous, shocking, grandiose, suicidal gesture you could ever imagine that always seems to be in public (lets break a glass mirror in public with your brass knuckles and slit our wrists and throat open with a huge shard where everyone can see, why don’t we!?) so I mean, you can only imagine how many times I’ve been thrown right on the ground by a cop and cuffed and taken in. This is usually the day BEFORE my period. Also, I starve on my period. I starve naturally coz I’m anorexic…but it takes willpower to starve during non-period times and times when I’m sober..During my period…I can’t eat anything coz I always feel nauseated, my two lower quadrants are always in such intense throbbing or stabbing pain that I’m writhing and screaming despite heating pads and normally a dilaudid or fentanyl drip at the hospital, the thought, smell, and visual effect of food makes me feel….full? Idk how to describe… It’s not nauseated. But it makes me feel so full that I couldn’t force myself to eat even if I wanted to. And since my period lasts a MINIMUM of two weeks, give or take a couple days, I usually end up on IV nutrients, too.

I’m explaining all of this because I’m needing to explain WHY it is so important that I chose nexplanon over…say…The Pill or an IUD or something. I’ve heard that the Depo Provera shot works for people who can’t handle nexplanon and vice versa. Well, when I tried the Depo Provera shot, I wound up having the effects of an anti-depressant on me…in other words, it made me so insatiably suicidal that I ended up in a ward within a couple hours of getting the shot. Depo worked HORRIBLY on me…I didn’t even get to see if it worked for any of my period symptoms coz it had to be flushed from my system entirely coz of the EXTREME psych effects it had on me.

But Nexplanon….Nexplanon was my saving grace.

Coz not only did I literally NEED the bleeding/clotting to stop….But I NEEDED ALMOST ALL of the associated symptoms to stop. I think the only things that weren’t either life threatening or debilitating were mild acne that happened very rarely each period (never really had to deal with acne in my life) and the bloating/water retention. Very specific, certain mood swings associated with periods were something not life threatening or debilitating either. Just…annoying and a total bitch to everyone around me hahahaha. I slayed with my words and popped off on anyone…Yikes. But it wasn’t like my BPD mood swings where 0 to 100 in less than a second on being euphoric and suicidal almost simultaneously.

I explained all of that because I need everyone to realize I chose nexplanon and not anything else because almost everything about my period (the bleeding/clotting AND almost ALL associated symptoms) were life threatening AND debilitating and had almost killed me so many times, it was terrifying. Since my parents obviously did not agree to get my uterus taken out and since I haven’t had the money to get mine surgically removed and donated to a wonderful transgirl (got three of you lovely ladies in mind! you all know who you are!)…I needed a BC medication that was going to stop EVERYTHING. Not just “the period”. But the ENTIRE period. The bleeding/clotting and ALL associated symptoms.

That BC was either Depo Provera shot or Nexplanon. One works, the other doesn’t…it seems to be that way with everyone. I tried Nexplanon first. That worked well. I forget why I tried Depo inbetween but you just read how nearly fatal that was for me…

ANYWAYS…

So this is my second time on it. As I said, It was put in on 11/22/2017. 

The removal and replacement went smoothly and it’s been going smoothly……..until this month.

What I am experiencing is normal for a NORMAL PERSON. A NORMAL PERSON with a NORMAL PERIOD would be okay with these symptoms. Problem being….Idk what symptoms are associated with what because:a) I’m switching my migraine medication to something that causes certain side effects until it levels out in my systemb) I’m having what a normal person would consider a full periodc) Optical and chronic migraines are happening simultaneously and they are debilitating to the point of making me bed-ridden if I don’t take my old migraine med along with this new one (which I’m not supposed to be doing)d) I’m getting a rheumatoid diagnosis and seeing a rheymatologist soon (they’re gonna probably schedule me tomorrow for a week to a month out…month at the longest) for either a lupus or fibro diagnosis, but they’re also going to check for hyperalgesia presenting in the kicked puppy/”flinching disorder” way and there are a FUCKTON of new symptoms I’m experiencing because of whatever this auto-immune disorder or rheumatoid virus (or both) is and my period actually could be happening BECAUSE of all of thise) I added a new exercise regime in when I really haven’t exercised every day and night consistently since I got diagnosed with chronic costochondritis for fear of cardiac arrest, which I fear even more now that I’m on a med that makes it to where I can’t sweat, BUT….exercise is good for joint/muscle disease/virus/pain/etc etc etc…f) I’m under a LOT of stress and pressure regarding so many things but right now it’s primarily school…getting into a pre-med tailored general biology major and a good university to switch to a medical major and pass the MCAT and do a FUCKTON of things simultaneously in order to get into medical school (trust me, you have NO idea how many non-scholastic things you HAVE to do to even be considered an applicant at p much every med uni)… I mean, I’m enrolled in three different colleges right now and I’m taking 6 vet tech related medical classes right now and will be taking 2 general ed classes on campus 45 minutes from here to finish a different degree…so I will have two associates band a bachelors by the time I’m moving on to my doctorate (coz med majors don’t get their masters, we just move from bachelors to doctorate for some reason)g) FAFSA is another time constraint stress that is KILLING ME and scholarships and such….h) Getting into the “back to work” program with disability, trying to find a job, trying to find internships, keeping up with seminars, paperwork stacked a mile high that is all deadline, deadline, DEADLINE…I’m going to a bazillion, million doctors who are all 3+ hours away and a lot of them are turning me away at the end of the visit because they “just don’t know what to do” and “this is above [my] pay-grade” so specialists refer me to other specialists who just refer me RIGHT BACK to those other specialists and then it’s an argument on whose specialty it is because the symptoms are literally from head to foot in me and no one knows what the fuck to do to help until I see a rheumatologist so it’s MORE THAN STRESSFUL driving 6+ hours almost every day of the week to go through extensive medical exams and testing only to be told they can’t help me/don’t know what to do/recommend…….and refer me someplace else….. and also all the hospital visits I’m ending up having to endure… alone… because my roommates are an “every man for themselves” type of roommate situation….i) Being put on a new medication I’ve never tried before, Lyrica, and playing around with the dosage myself and pushing it up to 600mg a day sometimes when I’m prescribed 200mg a day (100/100 day/night) and the max legal dose for my issues is 300mg/day…not to mention I’m not being consistent with it at all…and I was supposed to titrate up from 25mg to 75mg because it can affect my psych issues the first month but I just started on 200mg per day anyways coz I’m an idiot and have a self-medication problem (hence why tons of psychs have discharged me…rightfully so)j) moving in general and getting adjusted to new roommates and a new state and a new city and a new environment in general….k) getting used to a new style of support that I WANT AND NEED OVERALL but can’t handle and don’t need specifically right now when I’m just now getting diagnosed and transitioning through all these things…L) my HRT doc finally cleared me for T after working with her and the HRT board with PPH because it was dangerous with my psych issues….and then all of a sudden all of these physical issues popped up, forcing me not only to change my entire moving plans, living plans, schooling plans, autonomy timeline, Echo timeline, screwed with my financial stability I had going on MAJORLY, a TON of other things….and then ONCE AGAIN…barred me from being eligible for HRT because it isn’t safe anymore and until I get a full, complete workup and diagnosis, as well as find out what medications I’m going to be on and the dosage and they level out in my system and we all see how they’re going to affect me…….HRT is not an option….so I have to wait EVEN LONGER….to transition….M) relations with my parents became more strained than ever lately which is odd because normally being away and being unable to be physically abused makes things better and healthier between us…but suddenly, I’VE become the abusive one…. I’m fucking lashing out at my mother every chance I get and that’s normal for chronic illness diagnosis and stuff but blacking out due to anger is not… and idk where the anger black outs are coming from…and there are other black outs…N) Shit going on with my grandparents that SHOULDN’T be going on as well as with my father that SHOULDNT be going on and only people who truly know my father and me and what has gone on between us and who he really is can comment on this (which those people I can count on one hand), but I hope to god he dies before I can get to him…Jesus fucking christO) ……I can’t go on with specifics anymore, I’m bad with list but SUFFICE IT TO SAY…..

I HAVE A FUCKTON OF STUFF GOING ON SIMULTANEOUSLY AND I’M DOING ABOVE A NEUROTYPICAL LEVEL OF ADULTING EVERY SINGLE DAY. Like….WAY above. Above an able-bodied level of adulting, too! Above a neurotypical, able-bodied person’s adulting workload every day…. Which is scary.

I’m mentioning all that because all of that is apparently stress related. Apparently if there is enough stress in your body, it can release certain hormones. And those hormones, if powerful enough…like…if the stress is powerful enough…can cause a period in people. For people who aren’t on BC, it can cause them to have it at irregular times (ie; having it right after having finally stopped it… having it twice in one month…having it once in 3 months….etc etc etc).

That list is the major things I can think of off the very top of my head that are going on with me at this very moment… It is POSSIBLE that all of that is the cause of me having a normal person’s flow and all associated symptom’s at a normal person’s level.

WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY NORMAL PERSON: I mean… A normal flow as in… +NOT going through over one of the biggest maxi pads available every half hour/using a singular biggest maxi pad available maybe every 6-8 hours, +NOT being bed-ridden due to cramps/being able to stand up and walk and walk up and down stairs on my own when I have cramps and be out and about if I NEED to and stand the duration of a shower with cramps, being able to eat if I need to, +having zofran or phenergen work when nauseated, +having actual acne that I clawed to shreds with my nails so it’s very noticeable (I’ve had acne less than 10 times in my entire life so it’s a little distressing to see it on my face coz idk how to deal with it, but I had to claw at it until the convex forms turned concave and started gushing blood…so now it looks like two, big, perfectly round, bright red, blood-coloured spots on my face that I claw open every morning till they bleed and claw at during the day and smother in neosporin during the night), +the clotting is about half the size of my fits and comes out only when I pee/sit on the toilet (normally, the clots are the size of my fits or bigger, which is why a D&C surgery is necessary if it were happening again, but my hands are very small…VERY small…probably smaller than President Tiny Hands…so half the size is not that bad),+Bloating/water retention to where my pants/shirts don’t even fit but my weight hasn’t gone up…but, man, it hurts my soul and my mind so badly that it makes me want to hurt myself for self loathing purposes which I haven’t wanted to do in a long time and kill myself for being obese and hideous despite the fact I know this is temporary.+Mild headaches/NOT MIGRAINES OR HEADACHES THAT HAVE ANY SORT OR LIGHT OR SOUND SENSITIVITY,+NORMAL mood swings that are not akin to BPD or bipolar disorder at all and aren’t bad enough to cause any fights, either with others or with myself,+NO Suicidal thoughts or suicidal ideation…No instantaneous suicide attempts…no insatiable self harm urges,+This may be specific to me, but cravings for weird things like the feel of blood or the smell of the ocean,+Either an entire lack of appetite or a voracious appetite+Putting off adult responsibilities with a NORMAL amount of guilty conscious applied to it and not a “Jesus fucking christ, you’re absolutely useless, ON TOP of being obese and ugly, you really DO need to kill yourself RIGHT NOW because look at all the things you need to do and you’re not, you lazy piece of shit child” but more of a “You’re being lazy lol, but it’s okay…tomorrow is a new day. Fuck it. Fuck being an adult. I am NOT adulting today!”+INTENSE craving for chocolate…ALL the time… Like, not cheap chocolate, either. Like… mandarin orange infused godiva chocolate… All day, every day. Fuck.+Breasts swelling to almost a whole new cup size. Been having a hard time using the normal sized chest binder I use because my breasts swelled or retained water/milk/whatever so much. I don’t think they hit C’s, but my smaller B-cup bras which is what I normally wear to bed didn’t fit. Regular sized B-cups are normally WAY too loose on me to wear to bed and my girls will slip out during the night so I always have to find the tight, little girls training B-cups instead of, like…the ladies. I can fit into an A, but it’s just slightly too tight and a little too uncomfortable, unfortunately. I was an A my whole life until I got on antipsychotics. Hopefully T will bring them down to the smallest A possible and I can go down in my binder size.+Heightened sensitivity to pain and heat

Here’s a lack of symptoms I have entirely despite the fact I have my period that normally accompany MY period which also make this a “normal” person’s period:+No homicidal thoughts/desires/actions (thoughts past the normal)!+No suicidal thoughts/desires/actions (thoughts past the normal)!+No impulse spending to the point of spending the entirety of your money.+No sudden development of bipolar disorder but only for the duration of your period (a psych has confirmed this with me and gone over it with me and why I am bipolar on my period and not BPD and how this can be and how it is similar to a drug induced mental disorder, ie; drug induced schizophrenia, so I’m not just like…pulling this out of the blue, I swear lololol)+An ability to remain calm and level headed during arguments or fights if there even are any and turn things into a debate or a joke/satirical conversation instead of an argument like I normally do+No sudden surge of a loss of interest in things I love (which was hard to do to begin with since I lost everything I loved to depression over the years so this feeling of losing my passions during my periods was very soul crushing)+No getting triggered by noise, like… Being mentally overloaded by noise everywhere. I know there’s a word for this and it’s normally associated with autistic people but I’m blanking coz I’m not autistic and I don’t usually experience this and a cacophony of noise actually soothes me usually, tbh…lol.+No being overly sensitive to other people’s words and actions and no reading into and over-analyzing everything everyone says and does+No extreme panic attacks that are actually mental based and not physically based (I have panic disorder, which means I don’t get any sort of mental symptoms with my panic attacks because panic disorder does not have any association with anxiety or anxiety attacks or panic attacks that are caused by mental stuff… so my panic attacks are always purely physical…during my period, they can be started mentally…which is impossible for me otherwise)+No odd fears popping up that I overcame a long time ago (ie; phone phobia making me have a panic attack if someone calls me and making me unable to answer the phone or call anyone I need to, balloon phobia, needle phobia…actually, you know, I’m still not quite over balloons yet…I thought I overcame it about like…4 or 5 years ago but then my coworkers tied balloons to my car doors as a prank and I had a panic attack and broke down crying and had to have one of them come cut them off for me lolololol…so idk about that one, but you get my examples, right?)+No losing the conscience I have built up over the years and maintained so that I can force myself to stay away from being abusive and neglectful to people I love (ie; gaslighting, manipulation, coercion, pressure, charm, using my unique charisma for evil, threats, homicidal actions, conditioning, etc etc etc…) which comes with being BPD since I cannot feel empathy or sympathy and cannot “put myself in someone else’s shoes” due to ANOTHER disorder so I have made my own conscience and I lose it during my period because it’s made up and I have to be very self aware to keep it in place coz I don’t have a conscience naturally like most people do.+No hallucinations, auditory and/or visual+No catatonic moments+No psychosis, temporary/intermittent or permanent enough to need intervention+No purposefully making a dramatic scene in public in order to elicit a response from professionals and the crowd around me to come try to take me away to a ward so I can fight them+No lying without even realizing I’m doing it or meaning to about REALLY weird things to get attention (The things I lie about without realizing I’m doing it until after I’ve already done it while I’m on my period are INSANE!!!! It can range from something as innocent and benign as like… lying about the weather to a long distance friend…”Yeah, it’s raining outside. So nice.” When it’s fucking sunny as hell and making me miserable??? To something as big and severe as “I have a gun pointed at my head right now. I’m ready to do it. I have nothing left to lose.” Bitch, I can count the number of times I’ve held a gun to my head on one hand and it’s a VERY low number because it’s always been my dad’s gun and I’ve only been honest about holding a gun to my head to like… my ex girlfriend and one of my friends. That’s it. Yet, I have said this line so many times on my period without even realizing it until after I’ve said it and when it’s already been said it’s kind of a *shrug* “Welp…oh well…I guess…Too late to correct it…” sorta thing…So I go with it and just put on a whole act and it feels totally normal when I’m on my period??? My period turns me into a really fucking crazy, manipulative, evil little boy…)+Trying to steal the spotlight from others irl to get attention on me (ie; I can’t think of a real example, so I’m making up one: A coworker blacks out during a shift so they have to call 911…when the paramedics arrive, I go start unloading boxes, using one of those retractable blade thingies to open the boxes, while everyone is watching our pale, actually in distress coworker be loaded onto a gurney… I would go as far as to literally stab myself or slice a VERY deep wound in my hand or even chop the front part pad of a finger off (which I really have done before) just so I can scream (for real coz it hurts and it makes me yelp in surprise) so that everyone will turn their attention onto me and one of the paramedics will grab me and take me with them in the ambulance and I will go to the hospital with them and get all the “Omg are you okay? What happened? Did [x] really happen? Were you really in the hospital? Omg blah blah blah ATTENTION blah blah” as soon as I get back and it will rip ALL the attention away from the coworker who actually deserved it and actually needed…that’s not an actual example, I made that up, but I would not be surprised in the least if I did something like that while on my period if I were working rn and this happened)+Impulse stealing from corporate stores just for the adrenaline rush and to shove it to “the man”+Majority of my life, it was Cry and sob and cry and sob and writhe and pull my hair out and claw at myself and sob with full body shakes because of how much mental pain I was in because suicidal feelings definitely overpowered homicidal, but now and before my original nexplanon was put in 4 years ago…like…the very very very last period I had…Going out and looking for a fight with strangers…a physical fight…that I damn well know I will lose coz I’m a 5′2″ obese boy with absolutely NO muscle… SIMPLY TO GET MY ASS BEAT AND FEEL THOSE ENDORPHINS RUSH AND FEEL THE ADRENALINE PUMP AND THEN DIE OUT (similar to cutting)… Or just go to a bar and get in the most gruesome bar fight ever… Or find a human-like substance… and stab it over and over with a knife and beat it in with brass knuckles… Threaten people with knives… Etc etc etc …. Basically a bunch of homicidal stuff that I experienced the first two days of my period but now it’s gone coz the homicidal definitely overpowers the suicidal now+Such extreme apathy AND lethargy that I could lose whatever job I have at the time, go from a solid 4.0 to failing all my classes, and lose placement and lose progress in absolutely EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING I’m attending/working towards/doing/etc+The extreme apathy and lethargy bleeds into self care, too. No showering, no brushing your teeth, no washing your hands, etc etc etc…

I can’t think of anything else, but there’s probably more…Idk. But Anyways…EVERYTHING ABOVE IS SUPPOSED TO BE MASKED MY NEXPLANON COMPLETELY!

What I am CURRENTLY experiencing…is the first list. The one prior to the one right above this one. Normal bleeding/clotting and a normal level of psychological and other physical symptoms.

However…this has never happened to me before…

During my first three years with my first nexplanon, it took less than the first month for ALL of my symptoms to go away and I didn’t even spot the first month. That’s kinda what it was like up until JUST NOW with the nexplanon. No spotting or associated symptoms or ANYTHING until….literally just a few days ago…Maybe even a week ago now. The bleeding has slowed to the point where I don’t need anything other than a thin pad now. The cramping has slowed to where I don’t need a heating pad all the time. The mood swings are gone… I’ll admit, the first two days I got my period, I wanted to kill myself so badly and I most certainly did self harm. I slit the fuck outta my wrists and was SO CLOSE to going for the 20-minute-kill-zone. But I didn’t. Thank GOD I didn’t do it…Also, the first two days were abnormal for me in the fact that I wanted to eat EVERYTHING. NONSTOP. I was SO HUNGRY. Normally my period makes me so nauseated and makes me want to stay away from food so adamantly that I can’t even force myself to eat to stay alive so, like I said, I usually end up on IV nutrients in the hospital during the second week… My hunger returned to normal level on the third day and then has gone to the forcing myself to eat to stay alive bit now because I’m never hungry and I’m looking at food either makes me feel full or nauseated. Smelling food definitely makes me feel nauseated unless it’s chocolate. Lmaoooo! I am prescribed both phenergen and zofran for different reasons, though, so I just pop some zofran and it normally takes care of it to where I can force myself to eat something to stay alive or to not have a hypoglycemic attack. Coz now if I don’t eat something (even if it’s just a fucking spoonful of peanut butter or a cup of orange juice or a bar of chocolate—listing those 3 things coz they’re the top three best things to bring someone out of hypoglycemic shock) within 24 hours, I will notice my blood sugar bottom out and I will go into hypoglycemic shock and if I don’t immediately take care of it, I need to be hospitalized. Which is why I ALWAYS have chocolate on hand and ALWAYS have orange juice in the house. Don’t always have peanut butter on hand…but I should. I also have chronically low blood pressure and for some reason that affects my blood sugar and how easily it can crash and such? I’m not quit sure how (med student here and I have no idea the physiology of this stuff lol….wow) but I have to pay SUPER SPECIAL ATTENTION to BOTH of those things (blood sugar and blood pressure) during my period…because if my BP bottoms out and I don’t get help, I go into a coma. God forbid it fucking happens while I’m sleeping which…since I take metropolol (migraine med which drops my BP coz it’s a BP med) before bed and go to sleep with ambien which lowers my BP double (ambien and sleeping lowers your BP) AND IF I’M ON MY PERIOD ON TOP OF THAT….my BP will just plummet…and if I’m sleeping, there’s no chance at getting help or found or anything… I’ll just go straight to a coma. Same with hypoglycemia. Which is why I make sure ESPECIALLY ON MY PERIOD to eat something chocolate or peanut butter or both…and drink a bit of orange juice before bed…just in case. Coz being in hypoglycemic shock is scary af…the few times I have been…being TOTALLY helpless like that…totally disoriented… totally at the mercy of whomever finds you…feeling yourself slipping away…. unable to call or move for help…that’s TERRIFYING. Lemme tell you…and MY PERIOD CAN MAKE THAT 20x WORSE. JFC.

So….

Tl;Dr: Yes, I’m bleeding this month… 3 months after getting it put in. I’m having what would be considered a “normal person’s” period with a “normal person’s” symptoms…nothing I’ve ever experienced myself with my own period. So this is a fucking miracle period, but it still sucks and is still terrifying.I chose Nexplanon because no other BC (other than I’ve heard Depo does this for some people?) not only stops the bleeding/clotting COMPLETELY, but also stops ALL associated symptoms, both physical and mental/emotional/psychological. Which…almost ALL (I can’t stress ALL enough; there’s barely any that ARE NOT) symptoms associated with a period have the potential to be fatal to me, including the mental/emotional/psychological ones. So a BC that stopped them all entirely is what I needed since my parents wouldn’t consent to taking my uterus out via surgery which is what doctors recommended over and over and over again and when I became an adult, it was too costly and is STILL too costly. So Nexplanon + the T I’m going to be getting on are a beautiful combination for stopping EVERYTHING.Apparently, it is NORMAL to have a period the first few months on Nexplanon, albeit I did not experience this with my first nexplanon and only experienced true spotting ONCE with my first nexplanon the first 3+ years I had it in when my hormonal alpha female ex-gf got her fullblown period and I was living with her and her husband and sleeping in the same bed as her. I only got spotting. No associated symptoms, physical or psychological.This time around, I am having what would be considered a normal period for a neurotypical person with no uterine problems or vaginal problems or bleeding disorders (I have vaginismus, too, so that factors in somewhere).The bleeding seems to have stopped entirely today, making it last around maybe 5-6 days, which I think is the “normal” time for a “normal” person. 

Most associated symptoms have left. The ones that remain are: Bloating, Breast swelling, Aching/Sore body (but that could be associated with the lupus/fibro/hyperalgesia diagnoses going on with me because the joints are the worst with sore-ness and aching),Mild, spontaneous headaches,Extreme heat sensitivity,Acne (but that could be because I literally clawed both spots open with my nails until they started gushing blood and now I keep clawing them open every morning and all the time throughout the day….so I mean..??? I’ve never dealt with acne. Idk how to deal with it. I’m just putting neosporin on at night.)

I am expecting these things to go away… The headaches, aching/soreness, and heat sensitivity could be associated with other illnesses going on with me that I’ve never dealt with before and don’t know what to expect. But I know damn well the bloating and breast swelling is from this…and I know the acne is from this, as that was confirmed by a doctor (coz I was scared about it being from something else) but I think it just hasn’t gone away because I keep clawing at it and making it bleed. If they don’t go away in a week, I’m gonna let my gyno know and see what she can do/recommends.

The first two days of this were ALMOST as rough, psychologically, as my normal period and the cramps and clotting put me in the hospital and warranted a high dosage morphine shot, 800mg of ibuprofen (and a script for it) and a hydro (and a script for it). 

The ONLY thing I’m worried about recurring other than the cramps and clotting and psychological symptoms is that… I don’t know if the physical black outs are related to my period or if they are related to my auto-immune disorder (lupus/fibro/hyperalgesia) because when I first got diagnosed with a joint-related virus, where they took x-rays that showed a virus of some sort was physically eating away my joints…I was literally blacking out for a couple seconds every 5-15 minutes. That was about a month ago. Now I have almost a full solid diagnosis, but I’ve thrown two new medications into the mix (Lyrica, which I’ve never been on before, and Topamax, which this is my 6th or 7th time being on) and a lot of new things/stressors/lifestyle changes in general… but the other day. ..maybe 3 days ago now? 2? It happened again. Blacking out for very short amounts of time…approximately 10 seconds every 5-15 minutes…but towards the end of the day, I blacked out so badly that I was out for a solid 20 minutes, give or take, and since I blacked out in the kitchen, my head either hit the tile floor or a counter when I went down and since I have a bleeding disorder AND it was head wound, even though it was barely even a surface scratch at all (it’s practically healed now, 2-3 days later), it bled badly enough in those 20 minutes or so that when my roommates came home and found me blacked out in the kitchen, there was a small pool of blood around my forehead. One of them was panicking and had me in his arms and was shouting LEON! LEON! WAKE UP! LEON! OMG ARE YOU OKAY!? WHAT HAPPENED!? CAN YOU HEAR ME!? LEON!!! Meanwhile, he turns to his boyfriend while I’m slowly coming to as he’s shaking me and shouting one of my many nickname’s at me…and he tells his bf to call 911…which is when I snapped out of it (sort of) and used a Scully catchphrase and pushed myself off of my friend and held up an accusatory finger to his boyfriend and was like …quoting that artwork of Scully in the jacket that I love, saying in a very slurred voice “Stand aside! I’m a medical doctor!” Which…lmao. I started giggling. They didn’t get the reference coz they’re not Philes… But I managed to make them understand to please not call 911… That was the last time I blacked out that day…but it was for a solid 20 minutes and I had been blacking out and throwing up all day that day…experiencing both chronic AND optical migraines simultaneously… the clots were bigger than ever and I could feel the flesh being ripped from my uterine wall and slowly oozing out of my vagina. It was the worst feeling. They were almost as big as my fist at this point. And I was so lightheaded and experiencing so much vertigo…but I have been experiencing constant vertigo and lightheadedness since this virus hit me and since we started researching into it and looking into lupus and such.

SO I DO NOT KNOW IF THE BLACKING OUT IS ASSOCIATED AT ALL WITH THE PERIOD….OR IF THE PERIOD IS ASSOCIATED WITH THE LUPUS AND SUCH WHICH IS WHAT THE BLACKING OUT IS ASSOCIATED WITH…OR IF BLACKING OUT IS JUST SEPARATE….

And Idk if this period is a one time thing…or if I’m going to get it again…because, although it is nice to experience a “normal person” version of a period, it’s STILL HELL ON EARTH. It’s nice to know my life is not in danger from a normal body function…it’s still awful and my life is in danger via my psyche and how it affects me psychologically very close to the same as my normal period the first day or two days… Idk if I can overcome it and JUST hurt myself the next time I have it.

But it seems to have…stopped…now? Today?

If it happens again next month at the same level, I’m going in to my gyno to talk about other options or to see if there’s a way to get medicaid or the state to pay to get my uterus surgically removed. The state would have paid when I was 13…sigh. Idk if they will now…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To answer your question simply? Nexplanon is supposed to stop your period and ALL associated symptoms COMPLETELY. However, as you know, every person is different and everyone will react differently. I was bleeding and did get a “normal” level period for about 5-6 days that is not entirely gone, but the bleeding has stopped now. This did not happen the first 3+ years I had my first Nexplanon. But this could be attributed to a fuckton of things going on with me (that I explained above for this reason exactly), personally, and may not have anything to do with the Nexplanon itself. 

I hope that answers everything….Coz I put some thorough af work into all of that. Lmao. But if you (or anyone) needs clarification on anything or has any other questions, Nexplanon is kinda one of my maxed out skill trees that I know a whole bunch about, having had it for over 4 years already and am on my second one now. Lol. Feel free to shoot me an ask!

[edmdma.tumblr.com/ask]

Gonna attempt to tag for triggers coz this was sorta graphic if you’re not really into medical things. Tell if you’d like these kinda posts tagged with something specific.

[sweetlilacscribbles]

I’m doing the thing.

So, I’ve been toying with the Chocobros in Space idea a little more, and I’ve kind of been working on selecting each of the boys’ combat talents and backstories.  I thought I’d share with you what I have so far, if you’re into it!

Lieutenant Junior Class Noctis Lucis Caelum 20 years old Shock Trooper (Vanguard) Born and raised on the Citadel. Son of the Human Council Ambassador. Alliance Brass treats him like he's the result of nepotism in the Alliance, and his 'favor' is highly debated and contested. Tries to balance being a normal 20-year-old and being important in the Alliance. Mother was an Alliance marine as well, but died in an assault on a Geth base when Noctis was a child. Idolizes his father and wants, more than anything, to live up to the expectations and trust that his father has put in him Is a highly advanced L5N biotic, and was trained personally by his father to be the best out there. Pines hard for Prompto, has only told Luna. Fights with submachine guns and an omni-sword. Combat Abilities: Marksman Biotic Charge Nova Warp Throw Barrier Shockwave Warp Ammo Adrenaline Rush Immunity

Ensign Prompto Argentum 20 years old Bastion (Adept) Born on Eos, lived in a settlement on Garuda, raised on the Citadel When Garuda was ravaged by the geth, then Cerberus, Prompto was taken to a Cerberus facility with the intent to make him into a Nemesis. Was implanted with synthetic joints and synthetic discs in his spine by Cerberus to increase his flexibility.  Some of these joints are faulty and will send out a mildly painful electric shock, but are unable to be removed without severe neurological damage. Is an L2 biotic, and gets severe migraines sometimes. Was rescued by Regis' team (personally, by Regis) as a child, before his transition into nemesis was completed. Has been Noctis' best friend since they were in high school. Primarily joined the Alliance because of Noctis, and as a way to thank Regis for saving his life. Has a fancy camera built into his omni-tool and takes pictures of the various planets the team visits. Pines hard for Noctis, has only told Luna. Fights with pistols and biotics, is flexible and smol enough to slip into small spaces. Combat Abilities: Warp Singularity Barrier Throw Pull Lift Slam Reave (self-taught) Combat Drone (Cerberus granted; enhanced with photographic capabilities) AI Hacking (Cerberus granted) Energy Drain (Cerberus granted) Lieutenant Commander Ignis Scientia 22 years old Medic (Sentinel) Born on Bahamut Prime, raised on the Citadel Ignis is an orphan; his parents died on Bahamut Prime, and he was adopted by a pair of Alliance Soldiers who raised him to be a brilliant tactician. Was picked to be N7 after only a year in the Alliance, because they saw his high potential. Was hand chosen by Regis to be the tactician on the Regalia. Has L5X biotic implants and is formally trained in combat and medical biotics. Combat healer. Has been Noctis' close friend since childhood.  In a not-at-all-secret relationship with Gladio. Helps in the mess hall every night—and by helps I mean completely and totally takes over and makes the Mess Sergeant go absolutely insane until he just walks away and lets Ignis take over. High-key ship mom, always makes sure that the team is taking care of themselves and ensures that they go to Luna when the need arises. People think he should be in the pecking order above Noctis, but Ignis is perfectly content to follow instead of lead. Has technologically enhanced glasses that allow him to read heat signatures and analyze enemies for weak points. Fights with assault rifles and an omni-spear. Combat Abilities: Overkill Throw Lift Lift Grenade Barrier Stasis Decryption Neural Shock First Aid Medicine Lieutenant Gladiolus Amicitia 23 years old Commando (Soldier) Born and raised on the Citadel. Gladio is the third generation of N7 soldiers in his family, and the fifteenth generation of Alliance soldiers. Was chosen to be N7 on the same day as Ignis, both because of his family name and because of his high aptitude. Was hand chosen by both Cor and Regis to be the Gunnery Chief on the Regalia. Is both cybernetically enhanced for effective soldiery, but is also in top shape otherwise and has a very, very rigorous training routine. Has been Noctis' close friend since childhood.  In a not-at-all-secret relationship with Ignis. Alarmingly well-read, and insisted that the Regalia have a library in the lounge. High key ship dad. Isn't afraid to be tough with the boys if he has to... except for Ignis. Ignis is always immune from his tougher behavior. Fights with all types of guns, and an omni-greatsword and shield. Combat Abilities: Concussive Shot Carnage Marksman Overkill Fitness Adrenaline Rush Incendiary Ammo Cryo Ammo Disruptor Ammo Immunity Commander Nyx Ulric 28 years old Operative (Infiltrator) Was taken from a pair of abusive parents, then raised by the same adoptive parents as Ignis. XO of the Regalia, looks after the ship when Cor is away. Nyx was raised to be a supersoldier, but not without personality.  He was raised with love by the same parents as Ignis, with more focus on combat prowess than intellect. Was chosen to be N7 after his promotion to Captain, and after he more or less single-handedly saved an asari research base. Regis looks after him like a second son, and he treats Noctis like a younger brother. Trains daily with Gladio. Almost always fights from a distance, both so he can keep an eye on his friends and because he's damn good with a sniper rifle. Married to Luna for three years now; Luna requested to be on the Regalia and Regis pushed for it. Fights with submachine guns and sniper rifles, as well as omni-daggers. Combat Abilities: Marksman Assassination Fitness Overload Sabotage AI Hacking Tactical Cloak Incinerate Cryo Blast Disruptor Ammo Doctor Lunafreya Ulric (Nox Fleuret) 24 years old Ship's Doctor Born to Alliance parents, chose to pursue medicine, but still do Alliance work. Big sister figure to the crew.  Sometimes says she feels like she's just as much a therapist as she is a doctor.  Prompto and Noctis especially confide in her. Could single-handedly make anyone on the ship bend to her whim without the slightest bit of effort. She and Ignis can't even with the rest of the crew most of the time.  Also a high key ship mom. Married to Nyx since she graduated college. Knows how to use very limited biotics and tech; only enough to protect her in emergency situations.  Can also fire a gun; Nyx saw to that. Always resists her brother, Ravus' attempts to get her to leave the Regalia. Secretly a pretty decent hacker. Combat Abilities: Weak warp Weak overload Flight Lieutenant Aranea Highwind 30 years old Commando (Soldier) Born on Eos, raised on the Citadel. Pilots the Regalia, and is the "best damn pilot in the Alliance, thankyouverymuch." Former ground team member who was terribly injured, and was relegated to flying.  Complains about this all the time. Bros with Gladio, encourages all of his worst habits.  Constant drinking contest partners when the crew is on shore leave. Though she's not fit for duty anymore, she's in charge of ship defense, just in case any enemy ever gets on board. Friends with benefits with Cindy. Can fire any gun at all, and <i>used</i> to be a damn fast runner, but can't keep it up anymore. High key ship dad.  Will give anyone shit at any time. Combat Abilities: Concussive Shot Adrenaline Rush Overkill Immunity Engineer Cindy Aurum 26 years old Lead Engineer Born and raised on Eos. Keeps the Regalia running "a dern heap better'n any other ship in the Alliance." Unabashedly Southern.   Will drink anyone under the table if they dare challenge her.  A secret drinking master. Major Skyllian-5 addict.  Always wins.  No one on the ship challenges her anymore. On shore leaves, she works with her father at his skycar garage.  They also still have land cars that they fix up as collectors pieces. Friends with benefits with Aranea. Can fire a gun well enough to keep herself alive. Combat Abilities: None Yeoman Iris Amicitia 18 years old Communications Monitor and Secretary Born and raised on the Citadel. Questioned, for a very limited time, if she wanted to be in the Alliance, but she really just wanted to be wherever her big brother was. Wants to be treated like a grown up, but is really just the crew Little Sister. Has very weak tech abilities. Aranea and Cindy have taken her under their wing and are going to make her into the 'smallest and smartest badass the Alliance has ever seen.' Knows six different martial arts.  Smol and ready to brawl. Knows how to fire any gun.  Gladio made sure of that. Combat Abilities: Energy Drain Overload Incinerate Ardyn Izunia (Ardyn Lucis Caelum) Age Unknown Leader of the Cerberus Corporation Shock Trooper (Vanguard) Most facts about him are unknown, including his real name. 80% cybernetic, 100% evil. His cybernetics have kept him alive for more than three times a normal human lifespan. Holds a vendetta against the Alliance, for unknown reasons. Holds a special grudge against Regis and all of those around him, as Regis has always seemed able to foil him at every turn. Believes that his methods are the best, and won't listen to anyone else when they tell him that maybe they aren't. Has, either by force or by volunteer, cybernetically enhanced thousands of human beings. His true motives are unclear; he claims to be out for the betterment of humanity, but only seems to hurt people. Fights with a shotgun and an omni-sword. Combat Abilities: Carnage Biotic Charge Nova Warp Throw Barrier Shockwave Warp Ammo Adrenaline Burst Immunity Captain Loqi Tummelt 26 years old Cerberus Operative [Alliance Double Agent] (Engineer/Adept combination) Highly cybernetically enhanced.  The only part of him with zero cybernetic enhancements is his brain. Ardyn considers him his 'greatest success' in the cybernetic enhancement program. L5X biotic, basically a highly enhanced version of Prompto's skills, given the proper implants and enhancements. Former Alliance soldier who holds a very, very strong vendetta against Cor and Nyx (and everyone around them), for getting a ship that was supposed to be 'his.' Was tempted to join Ardyn and Cerberus with the promise of limitless power. In a relationship with Ravus. Determined to destroy any alliance military personnel that get in his way. The only humanity he has left are his feelings for Ravus. Combat Abilities: Stasis Singularity Lift Throw Barrier Incinerate Sentry Turret Combat Drone AI Hacking Fortification Admiral Ravus Nox Fleuret 28 years old Alliance and Cerberus double agent Commando (Soldier) Worked his way through Alliance ranks and alongside Loqi, was in prime position to get the Regalia, but Regis gave it to Cor and Nyx instead.  Has never forgiven Regis or the Alliance for this. Is the number one believer that Noctis' position is not earned, and plans to prove that beyond the shadow of a doubt. Desperately attempts to convince his sister to leave the Regalia and her husband to come and be safe on shore with him. In a long-standing relationship with Loqi.  Though he doesn't agree with the level of cybernetics his boyfriend has, he supports him no matter what. Is trained to fight with all weaponry, but prefers assault rifles and an omni-sword. Combat Abilities: Concussive Shot Adrenaline Rush Overkill Immunity

[mysticwhatnow]

Could you do the RFA + V and Saeran, and how they'd react to a MC who gets chronic migraines? I get them a lot, so this is totally self indulgent ;; I love your writing!!

Aww, thanks hun! And I know how it feels. My sister gets them a lot and sometimes she wakes up crying ;~;

Yoosung

the first time he met you at the RFA party was the best day of his life

he waited so long to see you!!

when he met you and after he gave you a big ‘ol smooch, he held your hand as you guys talked to guests

but you could feel a migraine coming on and you carefully excused yourself

yoosung got really worried after a few minutes

he went looking for you and found you crying in a closet located a bit behind the main party area

you were rubbing your temples and trying to breathe

he started crying and bent down and asked what was wrong

you explained you had chronic migraines, and they were very frequent

hurt like hell

like a vase tightening on your head

he looked around and sat next to you until it passed, which was about 30 minutes of nonstop whimpering and crying

he searched up afterwards how to help and treatments

begged jumin to help him

just really wants to take care of you

Zen

it was a bit after Unknown had captured you

and he took you to his home and took care of you

you were shaking and honestly scared

but to make matters worse your headache started

and in a matter of minutes, you were coiled on the floor, sobbing

you kept rubbing your head and whispering “please, stop”

like your headache would go “yeah, guys they said please, we gotta book it”

sorry that wasn’t funny

but when Zen came out with food from the kitchen

he dropped your plate of food and rushed over, sliding and by your side in an instant

he was holding you and freaking out

“dO I CALL 911 MC PLEASE DON’T DIE”

you had to tell him to quiet it down

then explain in tears that you get chronic migraines and they appear randomly and maybe 15 times a month

he started to freak out himself mentally like

“omg my girlfriend is gonna die pls no”

but he actually asked Jaehee to search up treatments and how to help it

he massages your head softly and wraps you in blankets

keeps tissues by you in case you begin crying

helps you any way he can

Jaehee

momhee activated

she was coming home from the coffee shop after you left a bit earlier

she heard your quiet sobbing and bam everything dropped

she was rushing to find you in the fucking bathtub crying

she bent down and asked if you were okay like five times

it made you almost giggle how much she cared but ow your head

you finally were able to explain that you had chronic migraines

and b a m you were suddenly lifted out of the tub and onto the couch

you were covered in blankets and hot a hot cup of cocoa beside you in an instant

she googled everything on your migraines, and made sure you were treated the best as possible when you got one

she didn’t ask for help, feeling she could take care of it herself

best mother/girlfriend ever

sometimes she hums a lullaby or sings softly when you’re dealing with a migraine

makes sure you are 100% okay at all times

has headache meds in her bad 25/8

must protect mc squad activated

Jumin

you guys were at home and Jumin was dealing with some work himself

you were cuddling Elizabeth in bed and suddenly it hit

Elizabeth could somehow sense your pain and bam she’s gone off to get Jumin

somehow

but you’re in tears and just clinging a pillow

in less than 2 minutes he’s there

he’s by your side and he has meds and water

he climbs in bed and massages you and just makes sure you’re okay

he wants to find the best cure and puts like half his money in it

you feel bad but he just wants you okay

whenever you have one and he’s gone, you call him and he sings to you or just talks to you softly

i really like singing, okay? shush

demands Seven that if he’s gone he keeps a eye on you 25/8

he just really loves you

Saeyoung/Seven

he already knew, as usual

he did like 5 backup checks on you

so when he saw your medical form and that you had chronic migraines, he felt really bad

he sometimes saw you on the cctv crying and holding your head

he’d call and sing softly and make sure you took meds and were careful of not overdosing or anything

when you guys finally got together and you lived together he always peeked on you to make sure you weren’t hurt

and when you were having a migraine, he’d curl up beside you and rub your back

asked if you were okay whenever you guys went out

didn’t let any person who was really loud and annoying except for himself near you if you were hurting even in the slightest

wanted to protect you always

whispers how much he loves you and it’ll all be okay and it’ll pass over if you guys are just cuddling while it happens

mc protection squad x100

V

you guys were just cuddling on the couch

he can’t see so he doesn’t see your face contort into any pain

so when it happens you excuse yourself and rush to the bathroom

he doesn’t think nothing of it really until his ears perk up and he hears quiet sniffling

pANIC

he gets up and rushes stumbles to the restroom

he opens the door and he holds out his hand to grab your shoulder

he moves his hand up to feel your face and feels the wet tears

dOUBLE PANIC

he thinks you hurt yourself and is instantly feeling all over

you have to tell him you’re just have a really bad migraine

he understands cause if he stares at the sun or looks somewhere or even strains his eyes for to long he gets one too

so he comforts you by holding you close and whispering how it’ll all be over soon

he rubs your back and just stands there while you whimper in pain

he now asks daily how your head is and if you need pills

makes sure you are 100% comfortable at all times

just a smol baby who wants to protect his love

Saeran

you think V panics?

wELL WAIT UNTIL YOU MEET SAERAN

tHE U L T R A P A N I C

you guys were just walking around the park, and holding each other

one minute your fine and then the next you freeze and whine

he f r e a k s

you’re holding your head and you fall onto your knees

he realizes you’re crying and O H M Y GOD MC PLEASE DON’T DIE

he’s bending down and he’s so awkward

“mc, are you okay? where does it hurt? are you dying do you need 911?”

you calmly tell him while crying you’re just having a bad migraine

he sits by you and waits until you’re okay

when it’s gone you guys walk for a few more minutes until it comes again and you cry out in pain

he’s freaking out and he actually calls his brother

“mC IS DYING”

saeran baby please

when saeyoung comes and gives MC some meds and tells Saeran what’s happening he feels so dumb

but also v concerned

he brings meds around now and hovers around you

barely leaves you alone for an hour

c o n c e r n

I hope that was good! Sorry if these are all late! I’ve been busy with school and such, haha. I will try and do thee on my phone, but sometimes they just don’t work out right, pfft.

Anyways, toodles, lovely anon!~

[kawaiifunhologram-blog]

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Good auto insurance deal?

Which insurance company in Toronto offers good deal for one or two company cars?

What Is the average monthly payment on a new 2008 yamaha r1?

And the average insurance price cost for an 18 year old

Car insurance and licence time held?

I have a question about filling out CAR insurance quotes. it asks for the type of licence & how long i've held it... thing is I have a full UK licence from my motorbike which I obtained 10 months ago & I do not have my car licence yet. Do I put UK full and time held 10 months? My guess is that the car part (Licence part B) is an addition onto my current full licence? Take a look at this picture to see what I am trying to fill out: http://imgkk.com/i/xhg3.png Thanks!

16 year old car insurance with a classic truck?

So my neighbor has this awesome chevrolet apache 10 pickup from the late 50's, early 60's for sale. I am 16 so i am looking to buy a vehicle. I was wondering is insurance more or less with a classic car/truck?""

How much will a insurance be for a student in Alberta?

Hi, I'm turning 16 in September and is planning to get my licence right away. I haven't bough a vehicle yet, however, I'm planning to buy a car with a price range of 1000-2000 for used car. I didn't take any drivers training, I live in Alberta and I'm also a male. Around How much will my insurance be per month?""

Car insurance for rural carriers for usps?

Doen anybody know if your car insurance rates go up if you are a rural carrier for usps ? I have state farm insurance and have been a little nervous my rates would go way up.

My car insurance is shooting up..looking for a change..Can you help me out in finding the cheap car insurance?

My car insurance is shooting up..looking for a change..Can you help me out in finding the cheap car insurance?

Can you cancel a car insurance policy and take a new one with a different company the next day?

My girlfriend is currently paying 197 a month for her car insurance, but we did a quote with another company will all legit details and they have quoted her 880 for the year. Can i ring up and cancel her current policy and take out a new with with this other company? or are there issues With doing this""

Reno Nevada Cheap car insurance quotes zip 89503

Reno Nevada Cheap car insurance quotes zip 89503

Health insurance question please?

My family and I have not had health insurance for the past few years. And I'm starting to get really sick and probably need tests done. I live near Aurora,IL, what's an affordable good health insurance I can get? I work part-time at a pet store and it's not gaurenteed hours so I may get like 30hrs a week for a month and than it go down to 20hrs a week. I am going to school full-time as well. Can someone please help me?""

Insurance companies that insure homes?

Do not have change&a was wondering insurance companies that will insure my home in Alabama

How can i get cheap auto insurance in texas being 20 years old?

im 20 years old and im finally getting my own truck but I don't really have a whole lot of money so I cant pay an outrageous price for auto insurance. liability is fine with me but what is the cheapest I can get.

How long do car accidents affect my insurance rates?

I have heard that accidents and tickets will affect car insurance rates for five years. I was in an accident four years ago, that was determined to be my fault. Now, my (old) ...show more""

What could happen if I lie on motorcycle insurance?

I want to buy a bike (motorcycle) but insurance is ridiculous. I'm 24 almost 25 in two weeks (which is why I have waited so long to get a bike thinking my insurance would drop like everyone says). I already have a license and took a safety motorcycle class. I have rode dirt bikes all my life and now want to get a sportbike. I have called almost every insurance company (major ones mostly and a few small local ones) all want me to pay $200. to $500 a month! That's almost $3000. to $5000. dollars a year! I could almost buy a new bike for that! My question is, after doing online quotes I found that if I lie (or bend the truth) and say I have rode for 3 or 5 years the insurance drops to about $100 dollars a month! Which is great. Now I haven't rode a bike on the road, a lot, or close to 3 years, but I do know how to drive, and I have no speeding tickets or accidents, so I'm safe. I just want to know, what's the harm in saying I have experience when I do, but not in the way they think. Are they really going to catch it or really care all that much? Is this a major deal, or do people do it all the time? I know people lie when they get insurance, like no one reports tickets or accidents, especially if they get them AFTER they get insurance. Let me know if there is ANY other ways to get insurance cheaper, I would love to have a bike and would appreciate any advice.""

Will insurance be higher on a truck than a car?

my guess is yes, i even googled this and i couldn't find an answer, but right now i have a 92' Benz with 150, 000 miles on and im paying about $110 dollars because im still a student, but im getting a 99' Ford F-250 Heavy Duty Diesel Turbo, because im 6'2 and tired of a car, money isn't an issue i just want to know how much it will cost, im not getting a new one because i don't want payments right now""

I live in new york city can anybody tell me who has the cheapest car insurance in the city?

I live in new york city can anybody tell me who has the cheapest car insurance in the city?

Cheapest insurance for motorcycle in melbourne?

hi m looking for insurance company that hs cheapest price for me. m 19 yo female, 4years experience on motorcycle. help me pls,,, i think i ll gt for the third party""

If the law didn't require you to buy car insurance...?

how many people would buy car insurance?

Has anyone heard of this car insurance company?

I'm trying to find this insurance company but it has a really vague name. It's called Ca. Auto Liab. It's on a California Highway Patrol accident report and they said it was a real company. I need to find their phone number and/or website. Has anyone came across this company?

Is Bike insurance cheaper then Car?

thinking of getting a bike cause where i live i dont really need a car and would love to have a bike but i dont got that good of a paying job im also 20 years old and i heard people under 25 have there bike insurance much higher then cars is this true

Do you think it far we can't get tags with out car insurance?

car insurance is a good thing to have, but do you think the Govener is going to far....?????""

How high is insurance on a BMW?

I found a 1992 BMW 525i in good condition for $1400, how high would insurance be for a newer driver with discounts included?""

What car insurance company would you recommend?

my car is salvage so i basically have no choice but to obtain liability only...what insurance company would you suggest has better rates?

""Allstate motorcycle insurance, am I covered?""

I am going to purchase a motorcycle soon but unfortunately for my age, insurance is much too high. It is about $5000 a year since I am 18 years old. What I want to know is if my father can put the bike in his name and have it fully covered but with me as the rider, will it still be covered? If I were to get in a crash would the bike still be covered even though the bike is under his name and not mine? Am i covered or will I be forced to pay $5000 a year so I can legally ride the bike?""

How much does driving test cost in the uk and insurance for a 17 year old?

how much does driving test cost in the uk and insurance for a 17 year old and how many driving lessons should i take ?

Why is my car insurance soo expensive!?

about a month ago i got a quote from Quinn Direct for 584 but i wasn't 17 yet so couldn't get insurance.. Now Quinn is over 1500 for my insurance and the cheapest i can find it is just under 1000 I will be taking my test january 23rd and getting insurance then.. Can anyone reccommend an insurance company that is good with teenagers and new drivers? Thanks

""Am I able to get health insurance? Please answer, need help?""

I'm 18 years old, I left home because of an ongoing abusive situation, and have been on my own for six months, it's the best thing that could of happened to me. I keep no contact with my parents. I live with an older friend who has two children. I help her around the house in exchange for rent, I buy my own food, pay for my own car insurance, and cover all of my own expenses, etc. I'm a full time college student, and I work around 30 hours a week, and now I'm looking to get affordable health insurance. However, my friend's income is much higher than mine, disqualifying me from subsidized healthcare or medicaid. Health insurance is based on household income. I am not her dependent at all, she has her own health insurance policy. I'm very confused, what course of action do I need to take? Thanks in advance for your answers!""

""I am disabled,my wife is 63 and cant get affordable insurance. anyone know where to look?

she only gets 700 a month ss and shes told if she got insurance it would be about 600 a month.what do we do?

How much money will I save if I go on my parents' insurance plan?

Ok, so I did hear that if I go under my parents' insurance plan that it would be a lot cheaper. If it is cheaper, how much cheaper? How much would I be paying a month or every 6 months, for example. I did request a quote from progressive and what they came up with is..... $485.19 every month , $613 a month with travelers. How much will I be saving if i go under my parents' insurance? Thank you all in advance!""

Will just one speeding ticket increase insurance rates?

I got a speeding ticket for going 70/55. This is my first moving violation since 2004, but that one should be off my record. I also got a ticket for having a cracked back window in June, but that carried no demerit points. I am in my early 20s. How much is this likely to impact my insurance rates? I am a resident of Virginia""

I have a Mazda 6 ... whats the cheapest Car insurance I should get for it? per month?

What's the cheapest car insurance to get on a Mazda 6...2008? Expected Monthly payments, ect. I am currently at 70/month... with Allstate but I wanted to know if there was a cheaper service out there.""

Car insurance?

I have only liability insurance. If I rented a car will liability only insurance cover the car if I got in an accident or do I need to have full coverage?

I just got my car but it needs a few things for it to be awesome how much will this cost me?

For my graduation present my dad got me a car! Its pretty cool and it runs well but it needs a few things for it to be to my liking, they arent needs just wants that i plan to pay for but i have no idea how much they would all cost. Ok so i can give u a good image in your head its a green Daewoo, Nubria and its year is 2000 so i hope with this info youll know how to answer my question. 1) Air conditioner. if u look at the inside you would see the air conditioner and u would think that if u turn it on it would work but it doesnt so i need to get that fixed especially in a state like ARIZONA where its always hot lol 2) New radio. I need one installed bcuz the one it has in there doesnt have sound and u need a code to use it. 3)Wheels and Rims. It has wheels but no rims and i kinda want new wheels lol whats a good size wheels for this type of car and what kind of rims should i buy is there rims for this type of car with the daewoo symbol? 4) Paint job. Ok so this is important my car is a dark green like spinach leaves lol i like it but it has white scratches all over the left and right side and the roof looks pretty worn out so i want it to be spray painted you know like in pimp my ride lol idk whats a good reasonable price for that but just write down a good estimate. 5) The front bumper. on your left side of the front bumper you know right below the headlites and the grill its broken and it dangals a little. Its perfect on the right side but scratched up quite a bit. So i want to get this old bumper off and install a new one. how do i go about doing that do i have to order the part or what exactly do i do keep in mind it doesnt have insurance yet but if it did could the insurance company do somehing about that? Ok so thats it thanx for reading and i want this answered in numerical order you know just line them up like this. 1) how much it would cost and a description or extra info i might need to know or consider 2) how much it would cost if i want a new modern radio like the one u can take off and put back on. 3) how much it would cost and all the general info 4) how much it would cost and give your opinion on a cool color to consider for this car 5) how much it would cost and how i would go about doing it Feel free to write as much as you need to on this to get the message across and remember exact prices are great but if u want u can give me estimates. thanx again for taking the time to read this. lol""

Auto insurance is so confusing!! Help?

My husband and I are currently covered at Geico. We pay 1320 for 6 months coverage. We've been with Geico about 5 years and our rates have stayed pretty much the same. I was looking at quotes online and there are significant differences between them all and I am so confused. I have been making sure that I am comparing apples to apples, all the same type coverage. Esurance quotes at $799 per 6 months, Teachers Insurance quotes at $1309 per 12 months, Mercury Insurance at $661 per 6 months, and then 21st century quotes at $1053 per 6 months. Why is there such a big difference between them?? My best bet looks like Mercury or Teachers right now...""

Reno Nevada Cheap car insurance quotes zip 89503

Reno Nevada Cheap car insurance quotes zip 89503

Which to buy?? An Alfa Romeo 147 1.6 lusso or an MG zr 1.4?? They cost the same and insurance is similar. ta.?

Which to buy?? An Alfa Romeo 147 1.6 lusso or an MG zr 1.4?? They cost the same and insurance is similar. ta.?

Car insurance help !?

Can i buy a car and get car insurance and then only use it for a couple of months ? then do i just cancel the insurance an i would get rid of the car please help me an new to this.

Cheap car insurance for young drivers?

Ok im 20 years old ands i expect to get my full licence soon. i think a Ford KA is my best option for price when thinking about purchase price, Insurance bands, TAX bands and repair costs. The problem is all the insurance company's i have looked at will charge me around 2500. Can anyone recommend any good insurance company's for young drivers. I have tried some price comparison websites none seem to come up with anything new.""

Car insurance so unfair?

I am 18 and I know the prices are a joke, all I want is a 1.6 astra 2007 and I have to pay 10 k to get insured.Over in the US and over countries kids get massive jeeps, why is it over here, most people can't even afford a 1 litre corsa. Pisses me off that I get tied in with the same brush because of my age, surely can they charge a ridiculous price such as 5k and give you half back if you don't crash? they will still be profiting massively, as my dad pays 280 a year. If i want to suceed in life, I think i'm best leaving the UK, they just want everyone to use public transport and don't want people to have the luxury of driving a car. Anyone else agree ?""

Can my dad insure my car if the loan for the car is under my name?

I just bought a car and it is financed under my name. I was wondering if I could just let my dad insure my car cause then the insurance would be way cheaper. Is that still possible? Some people had told me that it doesn't matter who is the loan under my dad could still be the one insuring it and I could still drive it saying that it is his. I just wanted to make sure if I could do that?

2007 Cadillac Escalade Insurance Quote?

What would the Auto Insurance Price be on A 2007 Cadillac Escalade in 2013. A 17 Year old would be driving it? Liberty Mutual

Why are there not provisions in the ACA that put caps on how much health insurance premiums can increase?

I just bought into a health insurance policy as I work 2 part time jobs and get no benefits in those jobs. Now my health insurance provider is saying my health insurance premiums will increase by 50% with higher deductibles and higher out of pocket maximums. This will put a strain on my finance as I can barely afford what I have now and having a $1500 increase really hurt. Why did this ACA not have something to cap these outrageous premium increases plus benefit decreases? It seems to be making it unaffordable rather than affordable.

600cc supersport vs 1000cc sport insurance cost?

I'm young and most insurance companies wouldn't insure me on a supersport until I've been riding for 3 years. So i'm wondering if for some dumb reason they'd be more likely to insure me on a 1000cc sportbike than a 600cc supersport bike just because the 600 is a ss. The other part of the question is what's the deal with 1000cc vs 600ccSS with older riders? Thanks love ya guys

""Im 16 and have been for nearly a month, still havnt had anything about a national insurance card?""

Right, well i turn 16 like back in august, and i never got sent a national insurance card or anything about it. does anyone know who i have to phone to find out why i havnt had it??""

How much should car insurance pay for breaking your back in accident?

boyfriend got ina car crash. he was in the back seast. driver didnt see stop sign and tboned anothe car. he has a fractured lombar 2 and wont be able to work for a while now... how much should the liability pay? they only want to pay about 3 thousand or so..

Cheapest Car Insurance (UK) For 17 year old (guy) who just passed test?

Hi, What are the best insurance companies to go to for cheap car insurance for a just passed 17 year old guy? Ive tried go compare and compare the market, but their cheapest quotes were 3700 a year! Are there any good Insurers who arn't on comparison websites, I heard some offer you discounts if you go to them direct. Thanks!""

What's the criteria on whether or not car insurance is high?

I'm 17, looking for my first car, and I want something that won't cost my parents a fortune on car insurance. But how can I tell if insurance is going to be high? Would 2003 Acura RSX give high insurance? I've completed a Drivers Education course too, if that counts for anything?""

""So I am 19 years old and received my first speeding ticket, will it increase my insurance?""

I've asked this before and want to clarify. Some people told me the first ticket is a freebee and my insurance won't go up. Others have told me yes, my insurance will go up. I am in the state of California, I have Allstate insurance, and I'm on an insurance plan with my mom. I've been driving for a little over a year. Thanks everyone!""

What car will i be able to afford insurance on when im 17?

im 15 on april 25th 2011 when im 17 what cars will i be able to get insured, i have a 1500 budget... i love the MG ZR how much will that cos when im 17...... and any other cars that will be cheap to insure that are nice looking cars and pretty nippy cheers""

I was wondering how much insurance would cost for a 05 mustang gt im 14 and have my permit cause i live in SD?

i would like to know how much per month (Preferably State Farm) insurance rates would cost for a first time car buyer for a young teenager getting a sports car my mom is alright with the price of the car alone and monthly lease but wants to know the monthly insurance fee.

Car insurance price?

i'm now 17, i'm gonna get my license next month, i'm wonder how much car insurance will cost, i'm international student and i live with my uncle in aparterment. i would like to buy my own insurance one not just add to family insurance, please to me exaclty how much it cost for my insurance""

How much do you need to pay for car insurance in NY?

I dont have a car and dont know anything about car insurance, just want to know the basics.""

Having insurance from two employers?

My wife and I have insurance through my employer, medical and dental. Her employer wishes to hire her full time and give her benefits, which would include medical, dental, and eye coverage. My question is, can she keep her medical/dental with me, and just take the eye coverage with them, or does she have to choose one employers insurance over the other's? We are pretty happy with our plan right now, and just wish to add the eye coverage that I can't get. Glasses are expensive!""

Do I have to insure my son when he turns 16?

My auto insurance company called me yesterday asking for the names and birthdays of my children. I refused to tell them anything. My oldest son will turn 16 in November, and I was not planning on adding him as a driver, because we have full coverage insurance and I thought that would cover anyone.""

Who's the best company for young car insurance?

I know the kind of car to get for cheap insurance but i'm still looking at around 3000 for insurance, i was just wondering if there is any companies out there people my age can actually afford.""

Do I automatically have to get car insurance right after I get my license?

I'm 18, I live with my parents...In order for me to get my license my mom wants me to pay for car insurance (since I'll be under her name) which is understandable, but I don't have a car yet, and I just want my license in case of an emergency...like I won't even be driving around her car rarely. She told me that even if I wanted to get my license and not get car insurance yet, I can't because I live in her house?? Does that sound right? Can't I just get my license without car insurance until I actually have my own car?""

Visitor medical insurance?

Hi all, I am from San Antonio,TX and my parent in-laws are visiting USA. I am looking to buy a visitor medical insurance and i confused of to buy a trusted one. I am much concerned about coverage/providers. Which one is most trust-able and where can i buy ? I want to buy a good one and i dont want get cheated by UN-known or a wrong insurance where the health care facility says we don't know this insurance or all the (covered) claims are simply denied. Thank you all...""

Can you receive medicaid if your employer offers insurance at an unaffordable rate for a low income family?

My employer offers health insurance but it is not affordable compared to my income. Can I receive Medicaid and opt out of their insurance until my wages increase? It is a financial hardship to pay $115 every 2 weeks when I make less than $12/hr and a single parent of 2 children. I cannot find information on this anywhere.....

""I dont have insurance or a source of income, help?""

I am eighteen years old and currently have no insurance and I am looking for a job but so far nothing. I have chronic migraine disorder and ptsd, I was on medication for both but after I turned eighteen I lost all insurance I had with my mother. i don't go to school nor can i afford to and i dont know what to do. Help?""

Is it possible to be added to my parents insurance for a month?

I want to drive to friends house in another city, but I'm not currently insured on any car. Is it possible to become included in my parents car on a one month deal? I'm over 21 in case age is an issue. Also if it is possible can I do it with another insurer or does it have to be one my parents currently use. Finally how much will it probably cost? Thanks""

Reno Nevada Cheap car insurance quotes zip 89503

Reno Nevada Cheap car insurance quotes zip 89503

""First time driver, why is a Smart Fortwo 2002 reg third party fire and theft so expensive on insurance?!?""

I recently did an insurance quote for a Smart Fortwo, the value of it 2400, and the insurance came up third party fire and theft at 2900!!! :O why for such a small and low engine car would it be so gob smackingly expensive?! I hope someone can put my mind at rest because i really would love to know! Thanks :D""

Car insurance?

I opted to pay my car insurance by monthly direct debit and due to some error by my insurers it was never set up and neither I or them notieced the error for months. They are now asking for the arrears to be payed off,am I liable to pay or as the mistake was their error am I within my rights to refuse.""

Will car insurance go up if I'm added to my parent's policy?

I'm 15 and have my restricted license to drive to work and school in Kansas. Basically what does adding me to my parent's policy do and about how much more will it cost?

Cheap NY auto insurance ?

hi there, i plan on buying a car soon but im a new driver and i have no one else to help me insure a car so i have no choice but to insure it on my own. I've checked and looked around geico, state farm, all state, and they were all to expensive, anywhere from 5-6k to insure the car for a year (way to expensive). So do any of you guys know any NY auto insurance companies that are affordable? Thanks""

Nevada/or California car insurance cheaper?

I just moved to Las Vegas from California and learning car insurance is more in the silver state. When I go to purchase new car insurance can I lie and say I live in California still. What are the cons to keeping my insurance registered in Cal?

I am 16 and just got my license and I am wondering how much insurance would cost for a 1994 Mitsubishi 3000GT?

I live in Illinois and I already own the car. My parents are saying that the insurance is going to be to much to pay for. How much do you think it will cost per month?

Is it true that red cars cost more to insure?

I live in Oregon if that makes a difference.

Insurance costs for new drivers?

I am thinking of getting my driver's license in about seven months (when i turn 18), but i am a bit discouraged by the quotes for car insurance that i have been given. I was told that car insurance for new driver's is about $3500 per year (and this is with a 40% discount for maintaining a 4.0 GPA). If i am put on my parent's insurance plan, it will still cost me $1100 per year (i have to make up the difference caused by adding me to their policy). Is this the normal rate for insurance for new driver's? Any other way to lower the cost? Any help would be greatly appreciated because i really want to learn to drive but the cost is so great...especially since i will be starting college next year.""

Temporary car insurance only 18?

Just wondering if anyone knows where i could get 1 months car insurance but i'm only 18? Cheers

How much is car insurance?

My mom said she would buy me a car, as long as i payed for the insurance. Im thinking about getting an SUV if that matters. Also I'm Terrell Owens so money is not an issue.""

Applying for medical insurance for my son..?

I'm on the COMPASS website and it asks if I have medical insurance through my job and if my child can get it also. If I'm trying to get CHIP for my son as it'll be cheaper then through my work. Should I just not say if I have insurance or should I continue and put yes my child can get insurance through my job?

Is it legal for insurance companies to require that you have a certain amount for personal bodily injury?

coverage before they can give you an insurance quote.

Cheap Car Insurance companies fo 17-20 year olds?

hey im 19 and just passed my driving test, and i can not find vheap enough car insurance, does anyone have any suggestions? thanks""

How can I lower my auto insurance rate in California?

Details: Licensed at 19/Now 25yrs old. I have a clean record but can't afford full coverage because it's in the thousands. Is it pricey for me because I'm Asian? I don't get it, I hear about people being fully covered for a whole year for less than $1200, but I only have basic coverage and I'm paying $1100 per year. Can anyone help?""

How much more will my insurance cost go up with a careless driving ticket?

I'm 16 and totaled a 18,000$ car and the insurance company will probably have to dish out at least 30,000$ in costs for hospital bills and so on. I know I wasn't driving safe and now i'm paying for it so don't heckle me. I have Triple A insurance if that matters, I might go to another company idk.""

How much is a 17 year old liability insurance for a camry 4 door in los angeles?

i need to know howmuch is basic liability for a 17 year old with a camry 4door in los angeles california.. any recomendations and i dont really feel like searching up quotes so any past experience is prefered.

How much would i expect to pay for insurance?

I live in New York, I am 17, i have my car and motorcycle license. I took the motorcycle safety course that was offered. I have had my drivers license for over a year. I got it on dec 29 and i have not gotten any traffic violations. I dont know if any of this matters, i have excellent grades, i have ridden motorized vehicles for years. It is a 1999 CBR600F4 has 18,500 miles on it. How much would be a reasonable estimate without collision? with collision? how much did u pay? If you are 17, 18, or 19 how much do u pay? Thanks!""

I'm wondering a car insurance random question?

Hello, my brother has a cheap honda civic like $6 thousand .. He was driving and got in a car accident with a $200,000 dollar car.. The back bumper of the $200k car is wrecked and my brothers car is fine.. He has insurance .. Does the insurance cover everything.? Thanks""

""My car insurance company sent me forms to fill out, after an accident. Do I need to do it?""

The police report states that I am not at fault. The passenger in my was badly hurt. My insurer wants me/my passenger to fill out a medical release/history form. I see no benefit in doing so. If the other driver does not have insurance, and we are not yet sure that they do, my insurer would pay my claim/my passengers claim under my uninsured coverage. If they have my passenger's medical history, they could try to find reasons to limit how much to pay out. They also want me to fill out a Report of Traffic Accident form. I have given a statement to the police, who said I'm not at fault. The other driver was cited, and I have also given an oral/recorded statement to my insurer. I don't' see the need to fill out an accident form. It just seems that my insurer is trying to cover their on *** in case my uninsured coverage kicks in. What if I don't fill these form out?""

Car got broken into... How much will insurance cover?

So my buddy calls me in the morning of the last day of school (I decided not to go and sleep in). He needs to borrow my jumper cables for my friend. He comes over, and we head over to my car to get the cables. I open the trunk, and my subwoofer isn't in my car any more... Head over to the passenger side and see that the window was smashed in, they stole my mp3 player and broke the recliner for the passenger side chair... Right in front of my house. I'm wondering how much will get covered by insurance... We have Progressive. I'm wondering if a. They'll cover the price of the sub, mp3 player, and cost to get the recliner fixed (sub and mp3 cost a total of $200-$250). idk about the recliner, maybe $60. I know they'll cover the cost of the broken window ($200, already dropped it off to get fixed), but my dad (owner and insurance payer of the car) is wondering if the increase in rates will be worth saving the $200 in window repair. Thanks. Make sure to take your valuables out of your cars at night or in a sketchy area, guys.""

What's the cheapest bike to insure for a 16 year old that still meets my requirements?

I'm 16. I've had my motorcycle license since December 2009, so that would be a year and about 4 months. (This is Oklahoma, you can get a motorcycle license at 14, but I had a late start.) My 17th birthday is in 2 months. I've been driving a car lately, but now I'm wanting to find another bike. However, it has to meet some requirements- it has to be good on the highway, since I live several miles from town and go on the highway almost every day, it has to be smaller than 500cc (not because of ability, just preference, I don't like big engines), and it has to be good on gas- at least 50 mpg. I don't car about the age, I know most people my age want the newest, coolest thing; personally, I don't care. I'd drive some 1963 rust-bucket so long as it ran. I'm just looking for the cheapest bike to insure for my age that still meets those requirements.""

Health insurance question?

i am 17, and will be 18 january 12th. i curently live in california, but will be going to arizona to start college in january. my parents have signa nationwide health insurance, and i was wondering if i would still be covered if i only wnet to school part time? i am considering going part time because is is about 2000 more dollars to take 4 classes rather than two, and i am still waiting for my financial aid which wont come until after january. any help would be appreciated, thanks.""

How much will my car insurance go up when i have passed my driving test?

I am a 17 year old girl. I am on diamond car insurance and for a provisional insurance for a year it costs 850. Does anyone know how much it will go up?

I need to rent a car but I have no car insurance?

I am 25 and have a secured credit card and am looking to rent a car for my road trip in December but have no car insurance at this time since my car needs a lot of repairs and so basically it's just sitting in my parents driveway until I can get it fixed and is not registered therefore I don't have insurance on it. Long story short this is my first time renting a car ever and it's just going to be me driving but since I don't have car insurance then how does this work? Help is appreciated.

Insurance quotes for a 2006 Mitsubishi Eclipse ??

i'm 16 and i need to know where i can go online to get a quote, without people calling me. i just want to know how much it's gonna be every 6 months or every month, etc. online .... THANK YOU ALL !!!!""

Reno Nevada Cheap car insurance quotes zip 89503

Reno Nevada Cheap car insurance quotes zip 89503

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