#I’ve been up almost a full 24 hours but the need was too strong to finish and post this to sleep

[verbenaa]

to bask in your warmth

𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:

“I’m not the only one who would look lovely with ribbons around my wrists, you know.” Your eyes flick up to his own as you wet your lips at the thought—dear, sweet Astarion writhing below you with the same rosebud hue tracing his wrists to keep him pinned as he is able to do nothing but accept the love and pleasure you have to give him.

“Something you think about often, hm?” His lips quirk up in amusement, his eyes finding your own as he basks in the heat from your warm body tucked into his side, thinly veiled interest present in his gaze.

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𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: Astarion/F!Reader

𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: smut, fluff, slice of life!

𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 7.5k

𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: soft fem dom, light bdsm, switch Astarion, use of restraints, body worship, oral sex (male and female receiving), 69, lingerie, face sitting, anal play, anal fingering, double penetration (in two holes), p in v sex, multiple orgasms

MDNI, 18+ CONTENT

𝑎/𝑛: hello hello, this is likely the filthiest thing I've written thus far? idk, but it sure feels like it! this is technically a sequel to another fic of mine (so that i may dream tonight), but you don't have to read it first to enjoy this! I always attempt to write these so that they can be enjoyed individually or as a little series <3. I hope you enjoy and let me know your thoughts! I appreciate and love you, dear readers!!!

ao3 here

masterlist

You peek out from between the small breaks in the painted wood of the partition screen, eyes on Astarion where he lays upon your shared bed—looking quite comfortable, all things considered.

“Darling, how much longer are you going to make me wait?” You can see the mercurial impatience building in the slight downwards tilt of his brows as they move low across expressive crimson eyes, his breath leaving him in an impatient huff as he shifts the tiniest bit on the blankets.

“Patience, Astarion.” You adjust the slip once more around your figure, making sure the rosy silk sits perfectly across your curves, the soft lace falling just above where the matching lace garter rests high on your thigh.

It was a delicate thing, the slip. Astarion had made it for you some weeks ago, every measurement perfectly tailored to caress your every curve as it falls to the tops of your thighs, delicate lace trim tickling the skin there with every move you make.

What lay underneath the dainty slip, though, was a surprise. You had tried so very hard to find the perfect set of lingerie, making sure the color matched as closely as possible to the same pink of the ribbon that had once wrapped around your wrists in bows, keeping you bound in place to the bed.

The words come back to you in a warm rush, the memory still fresh in your mind despite the weeks that have since passed.

Still in that delicate haze of your earlier lovemaking, the pink ribbons no longer tied to the bed but resting on the night table instead, your head laying on Astarion’s chest as your body is pressed in close to his own. 

“I’m not the only one who would look lovely with ribbons around my wrists, you know.” Your eyes flick up to his own as you wet your lips at the thought—dear, sweet Astarion writhing below you with the same rosebud hue tracing his wrists to keep him pinned as he is able to do nothing but accept the love and pleasure you have to give him.

“Something you think about often, hm?” His lips quirk up in amusement, his eyes finding your own as he basks in the heat from your warm body tucked into his side, thinly veiled interest present in his gaze.

“I think about everything when it comes to you.” You seal the words with a quick kiss to his lips as you brace yourself against his chest.

With one last breath you step out from behind the partition, eyes falling to Astarion as you take in the vision of him tied up with that same perfect, pink ribbon.

He reclines on the bed, the worn softness of the linen blankets brushing across the bare skin of his back as his arms flex against their bonds, testing them from where they extend to either side of the bed, each tied lovingly with perfect, pretty bows around his wrists. 

Astarion looks divine like this, his lean figure perfect as he lays there naked, his skin ethereal within the dim light of the room as the finest of silver moonbeams shine onto the floorboards.

“Like what you see?” His eyes rove your own figure as you speak to him from across the room, a hunger evident in his eyes as he looks you from head to toe, taking in the fine silk and lace of the slip that covers precious little of your form.

“How could I not?” You smile with painted lips at Astarion’s reply as you make your way to the bed with slow steps, letting Astarion’s eyes capture the sway of your hips as you near the foot of the bed.

With a smooth motion you glide onto the luxurious linens, moving on hands and knees as you kneel over Astarion’s form, the silken slip brushing over his uncovered skin as you slowly move over him.

You feel more than see the subtle twitch of him as the silk flutters against his length as you hover just above him, careful not to let your body touch his own as you make your way over him.

“If you can be good, maybe I’ll even let you see what I have on underneath.” You keep your words light, playful even as you give him a wink; you have no real intention of keeping much of anything from him tonight and you certainly have no punishments planned.

No, you would worship him as much as he was willing to let you. Prove your love and appreciation of his trust to allow you to bestow this pleasure upon him.

There’s another telltale twitch of his growing erection as you finally make your way to where his head lays on the pillow, your hands pressing into the bed on either side of silver curls as you hover there, looking down on him.

“I have to say, Astarion, you look so very beautiful like this.” You lean your head down towards his own, the tip of your nose brushing down the side of his cheek as you make to whisper into his ear, lips brushing absentmindedly against his skin, a small shiver making its way through his body at the tiniest semblance of touch from you.

It was tantalizing to be in control like this, to have Astarion tied up beneath you and at the mercy of your whims and desires. But it was a careful balance, one you were so deeply and intimately aware of—the many implications of Astarion’s trust in you, that you would never stray too far beyond his comfort level; the fact that Astarion has even given you a chance to have such power over him at all may be the most important detail of it all. 

You lower your body down to rest on his, silk against cool skin, as your hands move to run through his hair in soothing motions. Astarion’s eyes search the features of your face, waiting for further instruction as his legs widen beneath you, welcoming your weight between them as your stomach presses against his own.

“Astarion,” His name on your lips captures his attention, his eyes snapping to your own. “You have to promise me that you will use your word if you need to.”

You watch as the weight of your words fall upon him, Astarion nodding in agreement as a familiar affection fills his gaze. 

“You have my word, dearest.” Astarion gives you the smallest of smiles as you lean down to press your lips to his own, sealing the promise with a kiss.

Astarion’s lips press back against your own, your lashes fluttering shut as you bask in the feeling of it. You lean back only slightly, just enough for you to lick at his bottom lip, asking for entry. Astarion obliges, opening his mouth to you as you meet him, your tongue swirling with his own as you deepen the kiss.

With the slightest motion you move back to take his bottom lip between your teeth, nipping it lightly, enjoying the small sound he makes in response as you begin to move your lips down his elegant jaw, your kisses hot against the coolness of his skin as you head towards the line of his neck.

You settle back onto your knees, your weight pushing off of him as you nip at the skin below his ear, tiny little bites that serve to only make him shiver in response to the feeling of your teeth against his skin. 

With the tiniest of kisses, you make your way up the shell of his ear, careful to keep the touch light. He’s always so sensitive here, the delicate point an easy target for you to begin your little plan of worship.

You kiss up to the very tip, the warmth of your breath and the soothing touch of your lips has Astarion letting out a gasp underneath you as his body tenses, the ribbons pulling taut as you give him another soft nip. Astarion groans as you soothe a kiss to the bite, and you don’t have to look back to tell how hard he must be already, even with such little touch from you.

He always was so very susceptible to your attentions, once he let you in, once he trusted you enough to allow you to shower him with the affection. 

You smile against his skin as you kiss down the other side of his ear and onto his cheek once more before slowly moving lower, mouth dragging down his neck and onto the sharp collarbones of his chest.

“Your skin is so pretty, Astarion. So soft and smooth…” You nuzzle into the side of his throat as you bring your hands up to caress over the planes of chest, brushing over hardened nipples that have nothing to do with the cool air of the room.

Astarion gives you another one of those delectable little gasps as your lips continue downward, strands of your hair brushing against his bare skin as the heat from your mouth makes its way to his nipple.

“Everything about you is pretty though, isn’t it?” You look up at him under lowered lashes, letting your head rest on his chest as you pause your ministrations. 

“Well, I certainly like to think so.” Astarion says with his usual air of haughtiness, despite the hardness of his cock bobbing beneath you and those elegant hands of his still bound in pink ribbons.

“I’m quite tempted to agree.” You flash a devilish smile at him for only a moment, before turning your head back down to the open expanse of his chest to lick at his nipple with a flattened tongue.

Astarion moans at the unexpected sensation, his eyes closing in pleasure as his head tilts back against the pillow, the line of his throat exposed. The sight of him brings a flush to your cheeks that runs to the tip of your ears, your own arousal heightening at the obvious bliss that decorates his features.

You bury your face against his chest, kissing and nipping and licking at him while your other hand comes up to give his other nipple attention as well, just as you know he would to you.

Astarion’s sharp little gasps and moans, the bucking of his hips into the space between where yours still rest elevated above him, the sight of his hands flexing against the ribbon binding his wrists is all such a sight—one that you burn into your mind, a memory to be kept and held for the rest of your life.

It was such a gift, to be able to give him the same attentions he so frequently showers your body with, to worship him in such a way beyond your usual loving and affectionate words or gestures. The feeling of the trust that you know stretches both ways giving you a high that is indescribable. 

Lips move, kissing their way to his other nipple to give it the same attentions, your hand tracing teasing lines along his abdomen—lower, but certainly not as low as Astarion would like.

His back arches off the bed ever so slightly, your fingers teasing on his hip as your mouth continues its work, his noises only fuel to the fire building between your thighs.

You move down his body with aching slowness, marking the lines of his body with kisses pressed to his skin—the expanse of his chest, the soft lines of definition of his muscles, the dip of hips as you make your way to a destination that waits eagerly for your attention.

You kneel between his open legs, careful to avoid any touch on his erection as it rests against his stomach, bobbing as your lips move closer and closer, your hands on his hips gently pushing him into the mattress.

With a motion to the side you avoid where he wants you most as your lips press against the skin of his hips instead, so near and yet so very far from where his cock waits for the promise of your warm mouth.

Kisses and licks press on either side of his body as you continue, reveling in the precome that leaks from the tip of him and the soft cries from his throat. You had always assumed Astarion would be vocalwhen being denied, though you never quite thought he would be so wordless and without clever retorts, instead reduced to these small little sounds. 

“Ah! darling…” Astarion’s voice is tight with unfulfilled pleasure as your tongue licks close and his hips buck against your grip on them, the sound of the slightest bit of desperation in his words enough to have you looking up.

Astarion’s head leans up off the pillow as he watches you, panting breaths escaping from his lips as he pulls the bonds tight, the expression on his face one of open yearning.

The silk of your slip brushes against his erection as you move back up his body with the intent of mercy, the smoothness of the fabric providing the slightest bit of friction that has Astarion bucking into your stomach in an attempt at relief, a sigh of relief leaving his lips as you feel tiny dots of his precome decorate your slip in a line.

“I thought I told you to be patient.” You flick his nipple lightly in response, his hips jumping into your own once more. With one last kiss to his chest, you rise atop him, your knees on either side of his hips, your bodies no long touching.

“Since you’ve been so good, I’ll give you a little treat. What do you say, love?” You run your hands down your front with little hurry, Astarion’s eyes following your every move as he watches your fingers finally curl around the lacy hem. 

Astarion looks positively wrecked as you look down on him, the duality of being touched and kissed and licked but never where he so desperately needs feels almost cruel, his length painfully hard despite it never once being touched.

With unhurried hands you drag the slip up your figure, baring yourself to him inch by inch as he watches before you move to pull it over your head and throw it onto the ground beside the bed where it pools onto the floorboards to be forgotten.

Astarion’s eyes make their way up and down your figure, taking in the flush of your nipples from underneath the light colored lace that ensconces your breasts, pushing them up just so.

You’re unable to help yourself as you lean over his torso, hand caressing his jaw as you press a firm kiss his plush lips, nipping at his bottom lip once before pulling back upright.

“You’ve truly outdone yourself, darling.” You let Astarion’s praise wash over you,  smile on your lips as you brush your hands over your breasts, fingers teasing above the lace as you luxuriate in the open wanting on his features below you.

What Astarion is not quite so prepared for, though, is your panties.

He doesn’t even notice them at first, simply passing the lacy undergarment over with his eyes once before returning up where your breasts sit high. The thought that your usually observant lover fails to recognize the fact that the small triangle of lace only conceals the very front of you while leaving your entire center bare only serves to send your confidence soaring ever higher. 

The underwear—if you could honestly even call them such a thing—was simply that tiny bit of pink lace at the front, the rest nothing but the satin of the waistband and then two matching strips curving around the plumpness of your rear, leaving the entirety of your core and behind exposed to the cool air of the room.

It’s not until his gaze makes its way further down your body once more, claret eyes caressing your skin without touch as he takes his time to truly admire, that he sees the slightest bit of your center peeking out from under where the lace ends, his eyes zeroing in on the space between your hips as you widen your knees to better clue him in.

“Dearest, are those…” His words run off as you smirk, letting a hand run down your body and over the front of the ouverts to run lower instead, fingers brushing over soft lace before disappearing to run through your uncovered slit.

“Open at the bottom? Yes, they are.” Astarion’s mouth dries out as those fingers of yours come back up, hints of dewy wet glistening on your fingertips. His eyes watch with interest as you extend your hand towards his mouth and you delicately press damp fingertips against his lips.

He opens his mouth, pink tongue darting out to lick greedily at your slick on them. His tongue on your fingers has heat surging down into your empty cunt, and you can feel the heat blooming on your cheeks, certain that your arousal must show on your face with the way Astarion’s lips curve up into a smirk.

“I can do so much more with my tongue if you’ll let me have a real taste, my love.” He speaks the words with your fingers still touching his lips, pressing a small kiss to the delicate pads of them.

“A taste of what, exactly?” You tilt your head in mock confusion as you purse your lips, moving your hand from his mouth to instead trace the curve of his jaw.

“Oh, I think you know, darling.” His smile is pure sin as his lashes lower over half-lidded eyes, the picture of seduction as he lays beneath you, ready and waiting.

“I’m not so sure I do. I think I need you to spell it out for me.” You move your knees further up his torso despite your playing coy, your empty core all the closer to his waiting mouth as you feel curls of anticipation at the mere thought.

“What I want, dear mistress, is for you to move up here and put that sweet cunt of yours on my face.” 

Astarion’s head leans up, mouth moving towards your thigh as his teeth grab at the garter resting there, pulling at it and letting it go. It snaps back against your skin, the slight sting making you jump as you narrow your eyes down at him. 

His smile is nothing but deviant in response.

“And here I thought I was the one in charge.” You raise a brow at him, a corner of your lips quirking up in amusement.

“Are you honestly saying that this wasn’t part of your plan when you picked those out? Darling.” Disbelief colors his every word as his own eyebrows raise in skepticism.

“A mistress never tells.” You move to kneel above where Astarion lays his head on the crochet-trimmed pillow, steadying yourself on the carved wood headboard beneath your fingers as you widen your knees around his face.

His head moves to the side, pressing light kisses against the skin of your upper thigh, though his eyes don’t leave your exposed core, the lace stopping right before the place your slit opens to him. He can see everything like this, your center spread above his face, all soft and wet for him.

“Are you sure, Astarion?” You look down at him, waiting for his confirmation before you lower yourself down despite the hypnotic kisses he places along your thighs.

“There could be no finer honor than that of your sweetness upon my lips. So do it.” Such dramatics from a man currently trussed up with nowhere to go. There’s an open ardor to his words despite his levity that has you lowering yourself down upon waiting lips with little ceremony, eager to give both of you a reward.

The first touch of his tongue on you is euphoric, your eyes rolling back as he laps at your waiting wetness in time with the soft moans that fall from your lips.

Astarion’s tongue dives deep into your center as he whorls around your walls before he exits to lick up to your clit instead. He continues like this, a little pattern designed to drive you wild as he alternates between deep passes inside your cunt to sweet little licks around your clit, your moans ringing out in time with his mouth on you.

He’s always been so talented at pleasuring you like this, though the feeling is seemingly more intimate with your thighs around his head, body lowered down onto his face as you ride his mouth, his tongue precise as he pleasures you.

He laves at your center, leaving no part of your most intimate place untouched by him as he worships you, just like this. It would be so easy to come for him, to feel him drink up your very essence as it spills from your body with the same vigor he does the blood that runs from your neck.

Your hips jump as he presses against the small pearl between your legs just right, a soft gasp falling from your open lips as tension begins to grow deep in your belly with the pleasure. Astarion moans against your pussy, the sound and vibration of it only bringing you that much closer to the inevitable end.

“Let me hear you, love.” Every word has his lips brushing against your sensitive skin before he flattens his tongue, licking a broad stripe up the center of you before his lips attach to your clit, sucking at it. 

You keen above him, letting him hear the soft moans and whines that fall from your lips as your lashes fall shut. It’s an effort to keep yourself up, knuckles turning white as you grasp onto the hard wood in front of you, Astarion’s pace intent to hurtle you towards completion far sooner than you would like, especially when you have other equally delicious ideas in mind as well.

You summon your will as you move your hips up and away from his mouth despite Astarion’s noise of protest, your own impeding orgasm ruined as you catch your breath.

“Oh, hush. I have a better idea.” You smile down at him between inhales and exhales of air, swiveling your body around to face your front towards the foot of the bed instead of the headboard. 

“You’re the one in charge, dearest.” Astarion makes a show of licking at his lips in a way that has your flush deepening, the pink of them glistening with your slick.

You lower yourself back down onto his waiting lips, letting his tongue get back to work flicking against your clit as you lean your body down over his own, lace covered breasts pressing into his the hard lines of his stomach as you find yourself face to face with the evidence of his arousal.  

Astarion’s ministrations pause as he feels you finally grab his aching cock between your hands, your lips finding the crown and placing a soft kiss, coating your lips in the precome beaded there.

Instinctively his hips buck into your waiting lips, the needy moan that falls from his throat music to your ears as you let your tongue peek out from behind your lips to lap at the head.

Astarion buries his head into the apex of your thighs, tongue lashing at your entrance as you lick down the length of him. Your tongue moves up and down his shaft as he licks into your core, each of your working towards the other’s release.

With plush lips you take him inside your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you work him in as far as you can without choking, a hand coming up to assist in the act as to stroke the length of him that doesn’t fit inside. Your head bobs up and down, hair soft as it brushes against his thighs. 

You pay your own pleasure no mind as you focus on the feeling of his cock in your mouth and on your lips, the taste of him mixing with your saliva with every pass up and down him.

You pop off his cock to lick, following a vein as you reach the base before swirling your tongue back up him again to suck on the head. Your let your weight rest on him as your other hand glides down his body and past where your mouth sucks at him to brush a teasing touch against his balls.

Astarion lets out a deep moan into your core, tongue pushing into your entrance as his nose brushes against your clit as he eats you out. With soft hands you squeeze lightly, cupping them in your palm as you take his length into your mouth once more.

You can see the tension in his thighs as your hands and mouth work in tandem, his mouth losing its cadence on you as you suck and lick and touch, eager to drive him to brink before you lose yourself to the cascade of pleasure heading towards you.

With a hard suck to his cock and a squeeze of the hand cupping his balls you feel Astarion tense beneath you, his hips bucking into your open mouth as his moans fill the air.

Astarion comes on your tongue in spurts of white that you drink down, swallowing his spend as you stroke him through his orgasm. His cum is warm as you swallow, the taste of him familiar as you let his hips thrust into your mouth.

He comes down from his high slowly and you finally lift off his softened cock, tongue licking off the remnants of his climax as you move your body to the side of his and look back at him. His head rests on the pillow, hair strewn as the ribbons sit slack, breaths leaving his chest in pants.

“You didn’t come.” Astarion annunciates each word as he cracks open his eyes to look at where you lounge beside him as you make a show of licking your lips.

“I had other pressing matters to attend to.” The completion of Astarion’s pleasure at your hands far overweighed your own desire, the point driven home by the sight of him, fully spent.

The raise of his brow is all the answer you receive as he recovers from his orgasm, his breathing evening out as he looks you up and down, gaze assessing.

“Would you do me the favor of freeing me, love?” Astarion makes a show of flexing his hands as he looks at you pointedly, tightening the bonds as he asks for release.

“Was this too much, Astarion?” There’s a slight worry in your tone, the pull of your lips the tiniest bit downwards as a crease between your eyebrows forms. You are quick to move over him, fingers grabbing onto the ends of the ribbons as you pull them undone, moving from one hand to the next.

“Oh, far from it, my dear.” Astarion’s hands dart out to connect with your waist, running up and down the skin he has yet to get to touch. His eyes follow his hands as they move up your ribs. 

“In fact,” Astarion continues, “I could have taken much, much more. But I find myself wanting something else you have to offer.” 

His hands tighten around your waist as he sits up faster than you could have expected, the hands bracketing your sides now giving you a gentle push onto your back as you give a small noise of surprise.

Astarion captures both your wrists in his hands and pins them above your head, newly freed fingers flexing as they circle your wrists. His nose brushes the skin of your neck, breathing in your scent as his tongue flicks out to taste your skin, his body hovering above your own as he pushes you harder into the linens.

He licks a line down the column of your neck that has you arching up into him, the coolness of his lips against the heat of your own skin always a sensation beyond description.

With slow kisses, he works his way across your collarbone and onto the swells of your chest, lips and tongue and nose brushing against the skin there as he caresses his cheek against the lace of a still covered breast.

With the turn of his head, he mouths at a nipple, the lace darkening with the wetness of his tongue against the now pebbled peak. 

He buries his face in the cleavage made from the lingerie as he makes his way to your other breast, a hand coming down from where he keeps your wrists above your head to thumb at the damp lace left from his mouth.

“This has been quite the reward.” He licks over your other nipple as his fingers play with its twin, your lashes fluttering shut as your hips jump into his own. 

“You deserve it. And more.” You whisper the words on a shaky exhale, Astarion’s cock already hardening once more as you roll your hips into his, pressing against his erection.

“Always such a sweetheart.” He punctuates his words with kisses up the line of your chest as he moves up a hand to cradle your cheek, his lips meeting your own with a tenderness he bestows upon no other being but you.

“On your knees, darling.” You hear that soft command in his voice, the sound of it kindling to the fire deep in your belly as you nod, his hands releasing you as he leans back to give you space to move. You turn over for him, pillowing your head onto the soft covers as you prop your knees up on the bed, spreading your legs for him.

You feel his hands caress the skin of your hips as they move up to your waist, his eyes glued to your dewy center exposed to him like this. He moves his hands up to your shoulders, fingertips briefly digging into the skin there as he rubs away any tension he feels before they trail back down the skin of your spine, fingertips moving vertebrae by vertebrae with impossible slowness.

“You had your fun, and it was absolutely delicious,” Astarion grips your hips as he leans forward to press a burning kiss to the base of your spine before leaning away once more, a hand moving lower to brush through your wet folds. “But now, I want to have mine.”

He gathers your arousal with slow, teasing passes of his fingers, moving up and down your slit from your entrance up to your clit and back again as he wets them in your slick, soft moans leaving your lips from his light touch. 

“What a good girl you’ve been, picking out such pretty things and pleasing me so. You are far too good to me.” Two of Astarion’s fingers dip into your entrance, pressing in lightly as they glide in ever so slowly until they are fully seated inside you to the knuckle before pumping them in and out. “But you are an absolute menace in these panties, darling.”

You whine at the sensation, though the pleasure ends far too quickly. Almost as soon as it starts, Astarion’s fingers leave your aching pussy, pulling out of you slowly to trace around your entrance instead as you let out a noise of discontent.

“Patience, sweet thing.” He repeats your earlier words back to you as he collects more of your slick before moving them once more, fingertips brushing past your entrance to somewhere else instead, your wetness leaving a streak of arousal up the cleft of your bottom.

You gasp as the tip of a finger brushes over your other hole, body reflexively tensing as he rubs over the puckered entrance, spreading your slick in a light circle around it. Astarion keeps his touch feather light, small and simple circles that trace around the entrance, not yet working to press his finger inside you.

Even just the barest of touches on such a sensitive area has you swallowing in anticipation, the fire deep inside your body raging as you wait for him to give you more. More pleasure, more pain, more anything.

Astarion leans down towards your raised hips to press kisses to the roundness of a cheek, dragging his lips across your skin closer to the place where his finger keeps up its exploration. 

You feel his fingertip move away only to be replaced by the wetness of his mouth. He licks at your hole, his tongue ringing circles around the sensitive entrance as his hands come up to spread your cheeks. The feeling of his tongue pressing onto such a place has you crying out, hips bucking into his face as he continues.

“Fuck, Astarion.” You pant, eyes closed against the pleasure as you breath out the words. 

You feel him hum against you in response, tongue pressing harder against you as your moans turn desperate. Astarion’s finger joins back in with his tongue, coming to massage you as his tongue still licks.

He presses a soft kiss before he leans away, his own breathing heavy as he sits up. Your eyes open at the sudden absence to look back at him, taking in the sight of him with pupils blown wide in lust as his cock sits erect between his legs. 

Astarion shifts slightly as he reaches over you and into his night table, fingers quickly finding his prize. He sits back upright, a hand brushing soothing fingertips across your lower back as he holds up the small vial of oil between his elegant fingers, the viscous liquid slowing moving from side to side before sliding down the glass.

You watch with bated breath as he uncorks the vial and dribbles the oil over his fingertips before moving it to dribble over your ass. The oil is cold as it drips, bringing a chill over your body as Astarion quickly corks it and lays it aside. 

His finger touches you once more, smoothing the oil over your entrance with slow, soft motions as he readies you. His other hand comes to rest upon your hip, thumb brushing soothing lines up and down into your skin as he finally presses the very tip of his finger into your ass.

The feeling is visceral as it sends a spike of heat straight to your empty cunt, your body parting for him easily with the help of the oil, the sensation one so unlike any other.

Astarion leans in, his lips caressing the skin of your lower back, pressing soothing kisses as he slides his finger deeper, drawing a low keen from your lips as the pleasure increases with every inch his finger slides.

His finger finally fills you to the knuckle, Astarion giving it an experimental wiggle inside you. Your moans fill the room, eyes squeezed shut as you exhale, pleasure striking deep inside with that singular motion. With a slow, delicate movement, Astarion begins to pull his finger out, carful to leave the tip still inside, before he pushes back in.

Astarion lets his finger move with slow, even thrusts as your voice echos off the walls of the room with his every motion. 

“Does that feel good, darling?” He keeps his voice quiet, but the undercurrent of heat you can hear in his words only adds to your building pleasure.

“Gods, yes.” Your words are a sob as you are unable to help the small noises leaving your lips as his finger moves, Astarion alternating between thrusting his finger and wiggling it deep inside, each action driving you closer and closer to the edge.

Your core squeezes empty as heat builds inside of you, your own denial of your pleasure earlier making it all burn all the hotter as Astarion lets his finger work you up higher and higher, edging you closer to your climax.

“Can you take another?” His words are soft, questioning, as his free hand grabs the vial on the bed, uncorking it with his mouth while he waits for your answer, drizzling more oil onto you. 

You nod, unsure of your ability to form coherent words as Astarion has you on the brink like this, so close but still so far from your orgasm. You feel his finger pull out only to be joined by another, and together his two fingers press in to your body. Astarion gives you time to acclimate, working in slowly and stopping to give you time, only moving deeper once he is confident your body is ready. 

“Are you alright, love?” Your heart could melt at the affection in his voice as you nod your head to him again, your lashes fluttering against your cheeks as your cheeks flush.

By the time both his digits are seated full inside, you feel lost to the pleasure, the slight stretch of pain only adding to the euphoria as Astarion pumps his fingers softly, your body writhing. 

“Should I fuck your pretty ass open with my fingers? Get it all nice and ready for my cock later?” You whine at his words as he scissors his fingers, stretching you ever so slightly more as he says the words.

He can see the evidence of his ministrations, a new gush of arousal leaking from your cunt with filmy strings sticking to your entrance. He leans his head down, pressing his tongue out as he circles your entrance, licking at the slick he sees as his fingers keep working inside your ass.

“I want you to come, dearest, can you do that for me?” His tongue finds its way to your clit, giving it the smallest little licks as he waits for your answer.

“Yes. Please.” The words are barely a whisper, desperate and needy. Astarion obliges you, though, licking faster as his fingers keep up their motions.

Astarion draws your pleasure out masterfully, though it doesn’t take long for you to hit the peak, the flat licks of his tongue on your pearl and fingers pressing deep inside bringing you to your climax within what feels like mere seconds.

You cry out as the heat crescendos, your hips bucking as you finally fall over the precipice of your pleasure, mouth opened in an almost silent moan as white hot heat fills your body.

Astarion licks at your clit softly as you ride the wave of completion, fingers slowing in your ass as you come hard, your knees weakening from the strength and overwhelm of it.

You collapse onto your stomach, a veil of tears lining the edges of your lashes as your body still writhes with the aftershock of your orgasm, Astarion’s fingers pausing as you come down from your high.

“For fuck’s sake, Astarion.” You breathe out on a soft laugh, eyes still closed as you feel the slightest bit of drool on your cheek you failed to notice.

“Oh, I’m not done with you yet.” Astarion’s smirk is incorrigible as you feel his hardened cock pressing at the entrance to your cunt, the fingers still inside you wiggling ever so slightly once more. 

“Do you think you can you take my cock, darling?” He leans over your back as he says the words, pressing his chest into your hot skin as he whispers them into your ear softly. The position has his fingers pressing harder, pleasure already beginning to build back up inside you.

“I think you already know the answer to that.” You buck your hips back into his waiting hardness, the tip of him breaching your walls has both of you sighing at the feeling.

“Always so insatiable, my love.” Astarion rocks his hips forward, pressing in slightly as he nips at your ear and his free hand grips your hip harder.

“It’s a wonder where I could have learned it from.” Your words are a gasp as he thrusts into your warmth with little warning, filling you in his entirety in a single stroke. 

The fullness of him nestled deep inside your core while his fingers fill your ass is sheer bliss, a sensation that you weren’t sure you would ever get used to no matter how many times you’ve had tastes of this particular type of pleasure.

“So tight, sweet thing.” Astarion groans into your ear, hips still as he lets you acclimate to him. He presses a soothing kiss to your temple as he slowly begins to move his fingers once more.

Every movement of his fingers feels multiplied with Astarion filling both your entrances, your cunt clenching on him as you moan. You move your hips with a subtle motion, wanting as much from him as he would give you.

“Fuck me, then.” You press back into him as much as you can with him inside you, both front and back filled to the brim with him.

“Impertinent little thing.” Astarion tsks as he swats at your bottom playfully, moving his hand up over the curve of your rear to rest on your hip. He squeezes his fingertips into the skin of your hip as he grants you your wish.

Astarion pulls his hips away from yours, his cock dragging against your walls before plunging back in with a hard thrust that has you practically singing before repeating the action once more.

Astarion fucks you hard, hips slapping into the skin of your ass as his fingers piston inside you simultaneously, drawing your pleasure from both entrances as he times his thrusts in and out of your body with near perfect rhythm.

“You look so lovely like this, taking me in both.” Astarion is breathless as he thrusts, his cock hitting deep inside your cunt.

“I know. And I know you love it.” You try to move your hips back into his own, meeting his thrusts as well as you can despite your prone form on the bed. It’s so tight like this, the dual feeling of his fingers and his hardness beyond amazing.

“Oh, I do, darling. I do.” Astarion breathes the words hard as he keeps his pace steady despite the growing pleasure in your belly building up higher once more.

A particularly hard thrust has you both moaning as he leans over, pressing his forehead into your shoulder blade, his panting breaths warm against your own heated skin.

“I want to feel you come around my cock.” The words have you clenching harder around him, body tightening as his fingers continue to move inside your other entrance.

Astarion’s thrusts change their pace ever so slightly, the angle different as he finds the place deep inside that has you gasping in time with his cock. He hits your g-spot each time, the moans that fall from your lips nothing short of euphoric as you near completion once more.

All it takes is one more little quirk of his fingers inside your ass for your thighs to shake and your fingers to grasp at the blankets beneath you in balled fists as your orgasm hits just as hard as the first, eyes squeezed shut in bliss as your hips move against his own as you ride out your pleasure.

The feeling of your body squeezing around his length and fingers has Astation following right after, the warmth of his come filling you deep one you barely notice as his thrusts hit a fever pitch.

Your mind drifts as you come down from the high, Astarion’s thrusts slowing as he too works his way down from his pleasure. He gingerly pulls his fingers from you, moving the digits slowly despite his cock still thrusting lazily into your core, his come leaking from you and onto the linens below.

With one last kiss pressed to the back of your neck Astarion lets his cock leave your warmth, the mess of both of your spends decorating the blankets and your bodies.

Astarion walks over to where the washbasin sits in the corner, grabbing a soft cloth and wetting it before returning to where you still lay face down, catching your breath.

He kneels on the bed beside your body, reaching between your thighs with the cool cloth to clean the mess of cum and oil from your overheated skin.

“I think we made a mess,” You are quick to recover as you move to sit, reclining casually against the bed as Astarion comes to rest beside you.

His fingers dance over your skin in tiny patterns, the tips of them moving across your body as if tracing the lines of the many garments he now spends his time to make.

“Hardly, darling.” Astarion’s fingers dance up towards the clasp holding the lingerie across your chest, flicking it aside with clever feelings as he peels it off your body and throws it. “In fact, I think we can make an even bigger one.”

“Oh? Do tell.” Another raise of your brow, interest piqued.

Astarion climbs over where you lean against the pillows, now his turn to swing a leg across your hips as he straddles your form, eyes looking over the ever so tender skin of your neck as he licks his lips.

“Care for a snack, darling?” 

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 5

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: implied smut, angst is back

--

The next 2 weeks were amazing. Bucky really turned everything around and showed you that he was committed to you. It made you feel so much better. While you felt bad that he now completely avoided Dot, because she is still out of place, you didn’t feel that bad because you knew she was bad news. Whenever she saw you and Bucky together she would scoff and glare at you. It made you uncomfortable.

One day the whole Avengers team was called into a meeting to discuss an upcoming mission. Per Steve and Tony, everyone, except you, were needed. You didn’t like the thought of staying behind with Dot in the compound, but you were a team player, and wouldn’t argue. Bucky on the other hand let Steve have it with both barrels.

“Steve you know the situation with Dot. Can’t someone else stay behind?” he said to Steve.

Steve sighed, “Yes, I know this will be difficult, but everyone else is needed for their skill. Y/N’s skills aren’t needed on this mission. She agreed, so why are you fighting me on this?” Steve argued back.

“Of course Y/N won’t fight this, but I am trying to protect her from Dot. You remember how vicious Dot can be, and I don’t want her to upset Y/N when we just started to get back on track,” Bucky said.

“Look Buck, I get it. I do. But this is how it is. The compound is big enough that Y/N won’t need to be anywhere near Dot. By the way, when are you going to tell her that she needs to start looking for employment and another living situation. She makes everyone uncomfortable. Even Tony is starting to get annoyed at all her questions about FRIDAY, and he loves showing people how smart he is,” Steve asked.

“I-I don’t know. I mean I know I have to do it, especially after what she’s pulled, but I still feel bad for her. I mean she didn’t ask for this to happen, and doesn’t deserve to be thrown out on her ass, but I know it’s the right thing to do. I’ll talk to Y/N about it and see if she has any ideas. Maybe if we help setting her up I will feel better about it,” Bucky said.

“Yea, I know. Let me know if you need help. But we gotta get packed and head to the quinjet. And please don’t worry about Y/N. Your girl is strong, and she knows how Dot is. She will be fine. Besides, we are only gone for like 24 hours, what could happen?” Steve asked.

Bucky didn’t respond and watched as Steve walked out of the meeting room. He ran his hands through his hair, what could happen? He hoped nothing, but he didn’t trust Dot. It’s funny the way she is acting now didn’t bother him when he was in the 40s, but now, because of you, he sees that she is not as great as he thought.

Bucky sighs and heads to your shared room to find you packing his bag for him. He smiles as he walks in, “Hey baby,” he says.

You look up at him and give him a bashful smile, “Figured I would help you out,” you said.

Bucky walks up to you and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace. He looks into your eyes, and all you see is love and admiration in them. He leans in and connects his soft lips with yours. After a moment he deepens the kiss and you feel his tongue on your lower lip. You open you mouth in response, allowing him full access. When the need to breath becomes too great you pull away, panting.

“You’re only going to be gone a day,” you say with a chuckle.

Bucky also laughs, “Will you be ok? Here? With... her?” he asks.

You brush your hand through his soft hair, “Yea. I’ll stay clear of her as much as I can. But I’ll be ok,” you say.

Bucky pecks your lips again. “When I come home, I was wondering if you could help me with something,” he asks.

You look at him with confusion, “Like what?” you ask.

“I think it’s time for Dot to go off on her own, but I don’t want to just kick her out and make her fend for herself. I was thinking you could help me find her a job and a place to live? I would just feel better if I know I wasn’t kicking her out with nowhere to go,” he asks.

You smile and nod, “Sure. I’ll be glad to help. I’ll start while you’re gone,” you say. 

Bucky kisses you one more time, “I’ll be back tomorrow. I love you, Doll,” he says.

“I love you too, Buck.”

--

You have to say you are surprised when you find yourself not running into Dot at all. It’s almost like she doesn’t want to be near you either, which is fine. She has spent most of the last 24 hours in the lab, while you stayed in your room looking up possible jobs and apartment for her. 

You thought it was nice of Bucky to at least help set her up and not throw her to the wolves. It was something you admired about Bucky, his big heart. You both have been texting before the mission, but since then you haven’t heard from him. You hope everything is ok. 

“FRIDAY, any update on the team?” you ask the AI.

“No agent, I’m sorry,” she responds.

You decide to take a nap in hopes that when you wake up your boyfriend will be home. You want your family home safe and sound.

--

You woke up to the sounds of the team in the hallway. You walk out and see Nat and Wanda and hug them hello. You head toward the common room hoping to see the guys, but don’t. You walk back toward the elevator and heard something from Dot’s room.

“Oh Dot, I’ve missed you so much, Doll,” you hear Bucky moan.

You gasp in horror as you continue listening to Dot moan and beg for Bucky to go harder. You can’t help the tears that begin to fall as you hear your boyfriend and his ex having sex.

“So good baby, you’re so good. Taking me so well, you feel amazing. No one is like you, I love you so much,” Bucky moaned.

You’ve heard enough and turn, running back to your shared room. You can’t be near him when he comes in pretending he didn’t just fuck his ex. Your heart is in a million pieces as his voice continues to play in your head. All you hear is her and his moans and his words. He loves her. It will always be her. Maybe you just need to learn to accept that.

--

“Buck, I think you should have told Y/N you got hurt. She is going to be worried about you,” Steve scolded.

“Look, I know my girl. She will be mad at first, but then she will nurse me back to health. I will have to convince her to ride me later, but it will be so worth it,” Bucky says with a smirk as the doctor continues to pull out shards of shrapnel from his side.

“Seriously man? TMI!” Sam complained before leaving Medbay.

Bucky laughed and then hissed as the doctor pulled another shard out. “How much longer? I don’t want Y/N to think I’m dead if she knows we are back,” Bucky asked the doctor.

“One more piece... and....” she pulls the large piece out, “There! Now I will quickly clean and bandage. no stitches cause you will heal fast, but please no sex tonight. You might bleed all over her,” the doctor said with a glare.

Bucky and Steve laugh. “Oh I talked to Y/N about helping me out with Dot and she agreed. I figured it was best to have her involved with that situation from now on,” Bucky says to Steve as the doctor cleans and bandages his side.

“Good idea, less messy that way. I hope everything went well here with the 2 of them,” Steve says.

“I’ll find out,” Bucky says as he puts his shirt on. 

Both men walk to the elevator and head to their floor. They say their goodbyes in the hall as Bucky opens the door to your shared apartment. You aren’t in there, which confuses him, but he figures maybe you went to the kitchen.

When he walks into the bathroom he senses something is wrong. None of your toiletries are there. It was different from when you cleaned, plus his was still there. He walks back out to your room and sees that everything on your nightstand is gone too. Now he starts to panic as he goes to the closet and sees that all your clothes are gone. He tries to not have a panic attack because that will slow him down. He goes to head to the door and sees a piece of paper on the floor:

Bucky,

I guess I’m the stupid one. I’m stupid to think that everything you said to me was true. I was stupid to think that I could compete with your one true love. I was stupid to think that you really loved me. Well I won’t be stupid anymore. No need to lie and say what I heard isn’t true. I hope you and Dot are very happy together in your new apartment, but I’m done. Have a nice life.

Bucky dropped the letter and fell to his knees as tears pool down his cheeks. What the hell happened that you up and left him? You are angry with him, and he doesn’t understand why. He allows himself to cry for a moment before rereading it.

Dot.

--

Chapter 4 / Chapter 6

Oh Dot you dirty bitch! Feedback is appreciated.

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[honeybrulee]

A Fatal Mistake

Requested by @tatakae1tatakae ! ♡ Hope you like it, lovely!

Levi Ackerman x Reader

"I thought I was keeping you safe by letting you go. Now I see that was a mistake."

Warnings: descriptions of injury, broken ribs

The wooden boards creaked beneath your boots as you made your way up to Levi's office. He had told you earlier that day to meet him there once your duties were over, although he'd refused to tell you why, expression indifferent and stoic.

While this was the emotion plastered on his face at any given point of the day, it had never been directed at you, only normally reserved for his interactions with snotty cadets and grouchy higher-ups. With you it was different. He'd reveal himself from the stoic mask he hid behind in public, offer you gentle smiles and tender eyes, saccharine whispers and the graceful sweeping of his lips against yours.

Something was off with Levi. You could read your boyfriend like a book no matter how hard he tried to keep his feelings to himself, and you had every intention of finding out what was troubling him.

Rapping your knuckles against the solid oak door, you waited for him to welcome you in. His voice carried through, permitting you into his office as though you were another soldier instead of a partner.

"Levi, everything okay?" you spoke softly as you closed the door behind you, not wanting to worsen the already abnormal mood he was in.

"Take a seat," was the most Levi seemed to be capable of offering you, voice stern. An order. The man did not look up from his paperwork, scratching away with his pen. Black tendrils of hair hung down, shielding you from seeing his face.

You did as he said, perching yourself in the seat facing his desk reserved for business conversations.

Crossing your hands in your lap you watched him expectantly, waiting for him to explain why he had called you here, and why he was acting so cold. Nothing. The only audible sound was the scratching of his pen as he still refused to look at you.

"Levi?" you called out hesitantly.

He sighed, tapping his pen against the desk before placing it back in its holder. When he finally looked up to meet your eyes his face bared no emotions, the man in front of you performing his identity of Captain Levi rather than your lover.

"This relationship is unprofessional. I've already allowed it to go on for too long. From now on we're back to a working relationship of a Captain and his subordinate. That clear, soldier?" his voice was harsh and cruel, as though every moment you'd cherished together, every night spent in each other's arms meant nothing.

You choked, breath catching in your throat. What? He couldn't be serious could he? Why now, why after everything? You felt your heart plummet into your stomach, a stiffness strangling your muscles.

"H-huh?" was all you could bring yourself to reply with, shock setting in.

"You heard me, solider. We're finished. Now get out of my office."

You felt dizzy, all the breath drained from your lungs, tears pricking at your eyes in a painful sting.

"Levi-" you whimpered, the pain of the man you loved more than life itself pushing you away like a fling wracking your body.

"I said, get OUT!" he yelled, hands slamming down on his desk.

You made your way to the door on shaky feet, tears spilling down your cheeks. As your hand grasped the handle you turned to look at him over your shoulder. He was still leaning with his hands planted firm against the desk, teeth gritted and brows furrowed. His knuckles paled to a sickly white from the pressure he was putting on them.

"Does everything we've been through really mean so little to you?" you choked out, voice quiet, almost barely there.

"You mean nothing to me," was his heart-wrenching response, one which you had feared hearing but needed to hear for yourself. "You were nothing but a distraction, a way to release my stress. Don't think too hard into it. Now go."

And as you left, closing the door behind you, Levi finally let his facade fall. He collapsed back into his chair, breath shaky. He rested his elbows on the desk, burrowing his face into his hands as tears burned his eyes. They leaked down to his chin as he couldn't help but think about how big of a lie everything he'd just told you was, how desperately he was in love with you and just how much living without you would torture him.

Levi had to remind himself why he was doing this. If you weren't attached to him you'd be out of harm's way. You'd have no need to throw yourself into the face of danger to protect him if there was no connection in the first place. You'd fend for yourself and your friends. Making himself an enemy was the best way to keep you safe.

But stars, the look on your face had wrenched his heart in two. The look of betrayal and pain in your eyes was similar to the one he'd seen when you'd lost a friend on an expedition, as though you'd witnessed the cruelest of deaths. Less than 24 hours before, he'd held you in his arms as you slept, fingers brushing sweeping patterns over your back. He'd pressed kisses to your warm skin, tangling his fingers between your own. You trusted him more than anybody else in this world and he'd done nothing but hurt you.

Levi never went back to his bed that night, the thought of it cold and empty making him nauseous. Instead, he resigned himself to weeping silently against the polished oak of his desk until the sun broke through the night sky and it was time to start a new day.

----------------------------

- The next day - a scouting expedition outside the walls -

-----------------------------

The rain fell thick and heavy, obscuring everybody's vision. The formation was completely broken, and flares were useless in such extreme conditions, the smoke trampled by the rain. You could hardly see your hand in front of your face, leaving you and your two fellow scouts, Armin and Jean, practically shoulder to shoulder on your horses.

"I can't see shit, where the hell are we even going?" Jean called out.

Armin, ever the smart one, replied "We should turn around, head back in the direction of the wall. Commander Erwin will likely be headed back there, there's no way the mission won't be called off in these conditions!"

"Back to the wall it is, then!" you shouted, tilting the reins of your horse to lead it to turn, your friends following suit.

You felt your heart clench in worry at the thought of Levi. No matter what he'd said to you the night before, you loved him desperately. Normally he'd keep you nearby in the formation, somewhere you could look out for eachother. This time he'd positioned you on the outer flank, as far away from him as possible. You hated, more than anything, not being able to make sure he was safe. Levi's reputation as humanity's strongest had often lead him headfirst into danger, and the thought of him risking his life needlessly in these conditions sent a shiver through your spine.

The three of you could barely tell where you were, hoping that if you continued to ride in the general direction of where you came from it would lead you back to the others.

Unfortunately, before you could get any closer, the familiar sound of titans breaking into a sprint rang through your ears.

"Shit!" Jean yelled, "there's gotta be about seven of 'em! The hell did they come from?"

"We should split up! If we're all in the same place we'll have them gunning for us!" Armin spoke next, and with a nod from both you and Jean you carried out his plan.

You turned right, leading some titans away from your friends.

"That's it, c'mon, follow me," you spoke to yourself, looking over your shoulder as three titans tailed you at full speed. When you'd let them far away enough from your friends for them to not turn around and go for them you stood up on your horse, gathering your blades in each hand.

The strong winds didn't do much for your ODM gear, the hooks being turned away from their target each time. At the most crucial moment, just when you were about to sink your hooks into the shoulder of the tallest titan to get up to its nape, a wild gust of wind blew over the planes, sending the wires and the hooks shooting in the complete wrong direction. One caught onto the thigh of a different titan, sending you flying in that direction helplessly. Before you could collide with the titan, a large meaty fist grasped you, squeezing tight.

The large titan had caught you, and it groaned as it lifted you up towards its mouth. You couldn't lift your arms to slash at its fingers, arms pinned to your sides with the tightness of its grip. Panic set in, and you screamed as the titan lowered you into its gaping mouth, placing you down. It began to tighten its jaw, clamping your ribs between its massive teeth.

Just before the titan could crush you, your eyes, wide with fear, caught the outline of someone flying past in ODM gear, heading straight to the nape of the titan. A slashing sound rang out, and the next thing you knew you were plumetting to the ground, having just barely escaped death. Before you could hit the dirt, your saviour swung past and clutched you in their arms, carrying you down safely.

You groaned in pain, ribs definitely broken. The person carrying you fell to their knees, cradling you to their chest.

"Y/N!"

Levi? There was no mistaking it. That was the same voice you'd heard countless times, whether it was whispering sweetly in your ear, lauging melodically at something stupid, sharing late night conversations under the stars, it was definitely him. Levi was the one who had swept in and saved you from death.

"Shit, are you alright?" he asked, voice raised in fear and worry.

"Y-yeah, m'okay. Think my ribs are broken though," you coughed then whimpered at the pain that sent through your chest.

"Shh, shh, I've got you, love. You're alright. I'm here," he cooed. Levi sighed, guilt gnawing at his heart. If he had just been there this never would have happened in the first place.

Levi brought his fingers to his lips, whistling to beckon his horse over. Yours had been caught up in the fight, kicked away by a flailing titan.

"Alright, sweetheart, I'm just gonna lift you up onto the saddle. I'll be as gentle as I can."

He gathered you into his arms, carefully settling you onto the back of his horse. You groaned at the movement, causing Levi to press a reassuring kiss to your cheek.

"I know. Almost there, angel."

When you were finally up on the horse, Levi slid up in front of you, leaving you to wrap your arms around his waist. With a kick the horse was racing back in the direction of the wall. You rested your head in the nook of Levi's neck, taking in his familiar smell for comfort.

Upon reaching the wall you vaguely heard Levi call out for a medic, the adrenaline finally wearing off.

You knew you had been injected with a sedative to make you sleep so that you could be transported to the medical centre when you felt a scratch against your neck. As you faded out, you felt Levi's hand grasping yours tightly, and it was enough.

------

When you eventually woke, Levi was sat by your side, brushing his fingers up and down your cheek.

"Levi?" you spoke, throat dry and scratchy.

"I'm here," he replied calmly, although the guilt ridden look on his face betrayed him.

"You don't have to be, Levi. You told me how you felt, I get it. You can go. Thank you for saving me."

Levi winced, brows furrowing. He moved his hand to cup your jaw, carefully tilting your chin to get you to look at him.

"I'm sorry. This is all my fault," he sighed. "I thought- I just thought that if I distanced you from me you'd be safe, that you'd be out of harm's way and wouldn't have to jump in to protect me. I thought I was keeping you safe by letting you go. Now I see that was a mistake. A huge fucking mistake, worst I've ever made. You nearly died and it's all because of my stubbornness. I love you, like I've never loved anybody else, and that scared me. Made me afraid that I'll lose you like I've lost everyone else important to me - because I knew that if I did lose you it would break me. But all I ended up doing was putting you in danger. I wasn't there to look after you and you could've died because of it. I don't expect you to forgive me, not after what I said to you, but please just know that I didn't mean a word of it. It was all lies I crafted to push you as far away from me as I could. I truly love you, Y/N."

You gasped, tears building up in your eyes.

"You really mean that?"

"Yes," he looked down in shame. "I'll never lie to you again. I see now that it will always do more harm than good."

You were silent for a moment, thinking over everything he'd said. So it had all been one big lie that he'd thought would keep you safe. While it was clearly stupid, you understood where he was coming from, and the thought of him caring for your safety so deeply made your heart tighten.

"I forgive you, Levi."

He looked up at you and gasped shallowly, eyes wide.

"W-what?"

"I understand why you did it. Dumb or not, you had the best intentions. I've loved you for so long, Levi, and I don't plan on stopping any time soon."

Levi found himself at a loss for words, staring down at the being beneath him in awe. You were so perfect. How could a man like him ever deserve someone like you.

"Levi?"

"Mm?"

"Kiss me."

He felt breathless, like someone had sucked the air straight from his lungs.

Without any more hesitation, Levi leaned down, tilted his head slightly and pressed his lips to yours. A tear escaped his eye and rolled down his cheek, shaky breaths puffing out his nose.

He was no longer scared of love.

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Coming Down (Ethan x MC)

Summary: They break up. Dassit

A/N: I’ve been tired of this imposter Ethan, and the back of forth nature of his romance route for the entirety of book 3, so I wrote this.

Warnings: None

Title Inspo

~v~

Naomi’s fingernails tap impatiently against her leg as the shrill ring of her cell phone rings at her ear. It rings 5 long times before she’s sent to voicemail.

“Hello, you’ve reached Dr. Ethan Ramsey. I’m sorry for not answering your phone call, but leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you.”

“Ethan, it’s me...again. I haven’t heard from you in,” lifting her wrist, Naomi checks the time on her watch, “wow, in over 24 hours. I’ve been calling and calling, to no avail, and you just aren’t responding.”

The news of Ethan getting hit with a malpractice lawsuit hit her like a freight train. As soon as things started to feel good again, as soon as the diagnostics team started to find its rhythm with two new physicians, this torpedoes any chance of normalcy she could ever experience.

“If you could give me a call back and let me hear the sound of your voice, that’d be great. Bye.”

There’s a lot more that she wants to say, but she’s been given a limited window of time so Naomi hangs up.

Switching tactics, Naomi opens up her messages, and scrolls to her thread with Ethan.

Naomi: Hi

Naomi: Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in a while.

Naomi: Can you at least reply, telling me to leave you alone?

Naomi: At this point, I’d settle for at least knowing if you’re alive.

She waits a few minutes, and when she gets no response, she shoves her phone into the pocket of her white coat. Anxiousness and worry pools in the pit of her stomach, and the only thing she can think about is Ethan’s well being. And this situation doesn’t bode well because Naomi is still in the middle of her shift.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sound of quiet chatter as the door to the diagnostics team’s office opens and in walks Tobias and Harper. Their conversation is cut short once they notice the youngest member of the team.

“Hi, Naomi,” Tobias greets, an easygoing smile adorning his face. “What’s up?”

She wishes she could feel as casual as he looks, because every part of her body is twisted inside out and turned upside down.

“Have either of you talked to Ethan today?” Naomi asks, skipping the pleasantries.

“I spoke to him yesterday just to gauge how he was handling the malpractice suit,” Tobias answers. “Obviously, the conversation didn’t last long because he and I rarely interact outside of these four walls, but he seems…” he trails off when he notices Naomi’s face fall. “What’s wrong? Is everything alright?”

Any other time, Naomi would be ecstatic to hear about Tobias extending an olive branch, and Ethan actually accepting the support, but today isn’t that day. She’s been trying to get in touch with him all day with no success, but he answers a phone call from his sworn enemy?

“I haven’t heard from Ethan today, so I’m at least glad to know he’s breathing,” Naomi says, her voice tight.

Too caught up in her own pity party, Naomi misses the way Tobias and Harper exchange worried glances. The team has been through enough the past few months, the last thing they need is romantic friction between Ethan and Naomi seeping into the office.

“Maybe he’s turned his phone off since then?” Tobias suggests. “Times like this can force you into an introspective mood, and he’s probably going technology free.”

Naomi chuckles humorlessly. She appreciates Tobias’s effort to satiate her foul mood, but she can’t think of a single excuse short of death that could justify Ethan’s behavior.

She stands, dusting off her coat and straightening it out. “Thanks. I’m going to get some lab work done on our patient, page me if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

Without another word, Naomi exits the office.

Working helps slightly. For an hour or so, Naomi is successful in turning off her brain and focusing diligently on work. She manages to not think about Ethan at all.

Until she hears his name brought up in conversation. She’s strolling towards the nurse's station when she sees Sarah and another nurse, Ronnie huddled in a corner.

“Sounds like Dr. Ramsey’s not as perfect as everyone thinks, huh?”

“Screwing up a standard tracheotomy that way? Frankly, I’m just surprised it took the patient this long to sue!”

Naomi slows her steps before she stops walking all together. The nurses are so engrossed in their conversation, they don’t even notice her.

“I heard from Marlene that the patient wouldn’t have even needed a trach if they hadn’t dosed her wrong in the first place,” Sarah adds in an excited whisper.

“Seriously? That’s next level…”

Her first instinct is to stop this, to tell them to stop talking, the urge to protect Ethan still as strong as it’s always been.

But she stops herself from doing that. Because why should she? Why should she put forth the effort to defend the honor and reputation of a man that doesn’t even have the decency to answer her phone calls?

And just like that, she’s plunged back into her flurry of conflicting emotions: worry, fear, annoyance, and most of all, anger. The emotions war inside her, all fighting for dominance, and she hasn’t felt like this since her intern year when he left to go to South America without any sort of goodbye or correspondence.

That wasn’t a good period in her life. Naomi can still feel the cold grip of anxiety that plagued her chest when she came into work one day and he was nowhere to be seen. She heard through a LVN that he left before confirming it with Naveen. She can still taste the saltiness of the tears she shed after leaving her 5th unanswered voicemail. Experiencing such a high of beating her ethics trial and getting picked for the diagnostic team,  and the low of him leaving in that short amount of time left her spiraling and isolated, and it took entirely too much time clawing herself out of that dark place.

Turning on her heel, Naomi speed walks in the other direction, her original plan long forgotten. The hospital passes her by in a blur as her legs move, the rest of her body and brain moving on autopilot.

She doesn’t stop moving until she’s in front of the residents’ lounge. She spots Aurora, Bryce, and Sienna sitting at a table.

“Naomi, come join us!” Sienna exclaims. “We’re going to make cappuccinos with this fancy machine.”

“I’ll have to take a raincheck on that,” Naomi says. She turns to Bryce. “Can I borrow your car keys please?”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just have a couple errands to run and I don’t feel like taking the train. I’ll bring it back with a full tank of gas and everything.”

“I’m not gonna nitpick you about gas, Omi.” Bryce’s warm gaze sweeps across Naomi’s face, studying her. If he notices anything wrong with her, which he probably does because Bryce is a lot more perceptive than he gives himself credit for, he thankfully doesn’t mention it. He reaches into the pocket of his mint green scrub pants and pulls out his keys. He tosses the keys to Naomi with a wink, and she catches them mid air.

“I keep a shovel in the trunk in case you need to bury a body.”

Whether he realizes what is going on with her, or if he just cracked a joke to lighten the mood, Naomi is grateful either way.

~v~

Naomi spends an hour driving around Boston, people watching and attempting to collect her thoughts before she ends up in Back Bay at Ethan’s apartment complex. She didn’t want to go to his house in her previous state, guns blazing and emotions all over her place.

Even on the ride on the elevator up to his unit, her stomach is in knots and her heart beats faster than normal. She hasn’t been this nervous about seeing Ethan in a long time, and it dawns on her just how fucked this entire situation is. Why should she be nervous to talk to the man who claims to want to be with her?

Steeling her nerves, Naomi issues three sharp knocks to Ethan’s front door. Approximately 45 seconds pass before the door opens.

“Naomi!” Ethan’s eyes widen when he sees her standing there. “What are you doing here?”

“Are you going to let me in, or should we have this conversation in the hallway?” Naomi asks. Ethan steps aside, widening the door so Naomi can enter. “Thank you.”

The apartment is stale, like Ethan hasn’t opened the windows in a few days. He looks disheveled, the bags under his eyes are extremely pronounced like he hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep.

For lack of a better word, Ethan is a mess. And she wants nothing more than to just...wrap her arms around him and make everything better. But she doesn’t. She keeps her distance.

Ethan shuts the door before turning back to her. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“No.”

“Well let’s sit down.”

“No, I think I’d rather stand because I don’t plan on being here long.”

The coldness stuns Ethan. Naomi almost seems indifferent towards him, something he’s never experienced before. It doesn’t go unnoticed that she didn’t bother greeting him warmly, no hug or kiss, no excitement in her voice, nothing.

“I needed to see with my own two eyes that you were alive and well,” Naomi starts. “Because you’ve gone radio silent on me. I know you’ve seen me calling and texting. Your phone works just fine because you picked up a call from Tobias of all people.”

He averts his gaze, ashamed of himself. “I’m sorry, I–”

She holds up a hand, stopping him mid-sentence. Naomi doesn’t believe for one second that he’s apologizing due to actual remorse. “I have spent the entire day wracked with intense worry. I feel like I’ve been turned upside down, and I could barely focus on work. Every time I thought I could be productive, something or someone was there to remind me of you. And then I’d spend more time ruminating over you and your situation, and the fact that you’re ignoring me, and then I’d feel like absolute shit. And earlier today, as I listened to the nurses gossip about you, I realized that this feels so much like your two month sabbatical to the Amazon, and our relationship hasn’t changed at all since then.”

“That’s not true,” Ethan argues.

“It is,” Naomi insists. “One step forward doesn’t mean anything if we end up taking two steps back immediately afterwards. A year and a half later, you’re still holding me at arms length, keeping yourself closed off, ignoring my calls.”

“I don’t mean to do this, to be this way.”

“But you continue to do it, so at this point you have to see it’s a pattern. You won’t even open up and talk to me about this lawsuit that’s being waged against you.”

“I just don’t want you getting needlessly involved.”

“While it’s a noble excuse, it’s complete and utter bullshit. If you think you’re doing something to save my reputation, remember nothing you do will ever top me almost losing my medical license my intern year, and then having a resident face a malpractice lawsuit a few months later. So come on, give me another excuse.”

“I’m doing this for you!”

“How? How could this possibly be for me?”

“Everything I touch becomes tainted!” Ethan snaps. “Because there is something wrong, in which everyone arounds me leaves or dies, or everything falls apart. I don’t have control or autonomy over anything, so yes, the one precious thing in my life, I’m too scared to touch.”

“But I have been right here with you! I was right here in this exact same spot when we worked on Naveen’s case. I sat by your side while we watched over Dolores’s son. I was there when they wheeled your mother into the hospital, and when you took her to rehab. Time and time again, I’ve proven to you that my loyalty is steadfast, and not once have I ever wavered, so you don’t get to stand here and punish me for some unrealized fear. You don’t get to treat me like I’m a passenger in this relationship, if you can even call it that.”

That’s what gives him pause. “Of course this is a relationship.”

“This isn’t a relationship, I am just a woman you sleep with. Occasionally you open up to me, we share a cute moment and promises, and then you clam up and up goes the barriers, and it starts all over again. And every single time, we’re a little bit deeper into this thing we’re in. I’ve shared more, I’ve let myself be more vulnerable with you, emotionally and physically, I’ve deluded myself into thinking ‘This time it’s the real thing,’. And I’m afraid that this is going to be our reality. One day I wake up, 3 years in, tentatively living with you, trying to settle into the pieces of a life I’ve scrounged up with you, and you do this again.”

“I don’t speak on it, and I don’t like to because I try to keep it all together, but you don’t understand the toll it takes on me every time we do this back and forth. I was a train wreck when you quit. I had the trial looming over my head, Landry, a guy I considered one of my closest friends betrayed me in the worst possible way, you weren’t the only person scared of losing Naveen, and I couldn’t even verbalize any of it to you because you slammed a door in my face when I tried to bring it up, and then you left me. And then you did it again, and I spent two months worried that you might not even come home because you could contract the deadly disease you were off fighting. And then you go on national television declaring your relationship status, and you made promises to me on my deathbed that led nowhere, and then finally we make some headway in Hawaii and establish what we have going on, and then I come home to this. So while you say one thing to me, time and time again, your actions say otherwise. It’s clear I’m not a priority.” 

This conversation triggers Ethan’s fight or flight response. He doesn’t know where this conversation is headed, but he’s smart enough to know it’s nowhere good.

“Naomi, what are you saying? Spell it out to me like I’m a preschooler.”

“I think we need a break,” Naomi says in one breath, afraid she’ll break if she prolongs this any further. The six words leave a sour taste in her mouth that she has to choke back.

“No,” Ethan’s tone is gruff, and the seriousness almost startled Naomi. “No, we’re not breaking up.”

“From where I’m standing, we already have,” Naomi retorts. “I’m just confirming it.”

Ethan takes one long stride towards Naomi, but she takes a step back. “Look, I am a daft asshole to put it mildly, and I know I have a lot of work to do, but this is by no means a reason for us to break up.” He takes another step forward, and now Naomi is backed up against the door. He tugs her forward, wrapping his arms around her. “I am sorry. I know the words probably sound hollow, but trust me when I say I mean it. I’ll fix this, I’ll do whatever it takes. You’re the only person I want, the only one I’ll ever want, and I’m not losing you. Not now, not ever.”

Through this right embrace, Naomi can feel just how rapidly his heart is beating. He’s scared.

A tear slips from the corner of her eye, and she’s too drained to even wipe it away. “This is reactionary. You’re saying all of this because you’re panicked, but if you meant any of what you just said, it wouldn’t take the threat of a breakup in order to want to change things.”

“It shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize what a fool I’ve been,” Ethan says. He refuses to let go of her, his arms still wrapped so tightly around her petite frame, he almost worries about crushing her.

“I agree.” What does that even mean? She gives him nothing more than that, and Ethan is left to stew in his own doubt and worry. Naomi breaks free of his embrace and presses a palm to his chest, signaling him to give her some space. “But I still think we need some space.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Trust me, I do.”

It becomes hard to breathe. When Ethan woke up this morning, the last thing he expected was Naomi to dump him. “What can I do? Tell me how to fix this. Do you want consistency? Done, I’ll talk to you every single day, multiple times a day. Transparency? Sit down right now, and I’ll explain this entire lawsuit top to bottom. You want proof that I’m never going to up and leave again, you can take my fucking passport. Naomi, I don’t care what I have to do, I will do it, but I will not accept you walking out of that door.”

Naomi inhales deeply, trying to stop a full son from bursting out of her chest. He’s saying all the right things, but at the wrong time. It’s too late now. “I’ve warred with myself all day about this decision. You’re clearly not in the right space to sustain a healthy relationship, and that’s fine. I just need to remove myself from the situation, for my own health and well-being. And I think you need to do the same.”

“So...what? This is it? It’s over?”

“Let’s be honest Ethan, you never gave us the opportunity to begin.” She wants to touch him so badly, reach out a run her hand through his hair or stroke his beard one more time. It takes everything in her to not. “You’re a great doctor, one of the best ones I know, so I really hope you beat this entire lawsuit and I get to see you back at Edenbrook. Take care of yourself, Ethan.

Ethan shakes his head in denial. He refuses to let things end like this, and for her to give him the same cool professionalism she extends to every other coworker.

“Naomi, wait–”

She’s out of his apartment before he can convince her to stay. It doesn’t register until he hears the soft click of her door shutting that she’s actually gone. And another minute passes before the gravity of the situation finally dawns on him.

For the first time in a long time, he’s truly alone.

~v~

Tags: @mvalentine @choicesaddict5 @professorkingslay @maurine07 @aka-calliope @bluebellot @whimsicallywayward15 @blossomanarchy @takemyopenheart @jamespotterthefirst @fanmantrashcan @whatchique @ao719 @x-kyne-x @colourmeshy @paulfwesley @the-pale-goddess @writinghereandthere @ramseyandrys @perriewinklenerdie @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @hatescapsicum @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramseyx @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @my-heart-beats-for-ya @adrian-motherfucking-raines @riverrune @edith-eggs1 @thatysn @bellcat2010 @blainehellyes @cecilecontrera @junehiratas @choices-love-affair @openheart12 @caseyvalentineramsey @desmaranj @nazario-sayeed @aestheticartsx @ruinedbypixels @nooruleman @rookie-ramsey @uneravine @choicest @schnitzelbutterfingers @missmiimiie @stateofgracious @mooons-isabelle @doilooklikeiknow

[novamirmirsblog]

So stay with me

Word count: 1957

Request: Yes

Genre: ANGST

Warnings: DEATH. SADNESS. Like there is literally no silver lining.

A/N I've done the foster system based off how it is where I live. I don't know what it's like for other countries so I apologise if it isn't quite the same for where you live :3 ALSO I'm going to put the request elsewhere because in order for the full unhappiness, you must experience it like this 😈

When you first entered the S.H.I.E.L.D training programme, you had been hand picked by Fury himself. You were bouncing from foster home to foster home at the time, causing general trouble by stealing, fighting and lashing out at anyone and everyone. You had no real direction. You knew you were most likely to end up on the streets - sure your social worker would still check in occasionally after you had aged out of the system but there were more and more kids being given up. Realistically, you knew you were on your own. When you reached 13 you knew that no one was going to adopt you. Especially when there were babies and young children available. Deep down, you had figured it out when you were around 9 but you clung to the naive hope that you were wrong.

~~~~~

Fury found you when you were 15 but didn't take you in until you were 17. It was the day after your 17th birthday when he turned up at your foster parent's door. He said he wanted to take you for a military programme and you packed your bag before he had even finished his speech.

You went through years of intense training and passed top of your class for everything. It was surprising considering you had never been first before. What was more shocking was the need for praise. You had always believed that you didn't need it. You had never had it before, so why is it a necessity. You realised how wrong you were when Maria took you to the side and told you that you had done well. The comment replayed in your head for months.

~~~~~

You were 23 when you first joined the Avenger's initiative. 23 when you first met Natasha. The two of you didn't hit it off to begin with, Natasha didn't like how reckless you were and you didn't like how far the stick was shoved up her arse. Truth was, you both liked each other a little more than just friends but neither of you knew how to deal with these emotions. Let's face it, Natasha grew up being told 'love is for children' and you grew up in the system where the cracks were so big elephants fell through them. The team could see it though.

"Just ask her out." Wanda told you while sitting on your bed painting her nails.

"Who?"

"You know exactly who. I can read your mind and your thoughts are very loud."

"No. Your information is wrong." Wanda grabbed your hand, painting the left one first.

"Y/n just ask Natasha out. She'll say yes."

"I hate her. We're enemies."

"Some say you have to love someone to hate them and besides" Wanda paused, gauging your reaction "You wanting to bend her over a table doesn't sound very enemy like."

Heat rose in your cheeks and you prayed nothing gave you away. "Untrue. I want to do that in an enemy way."

"Sureeee..."

From then on, you were extremely careful to keep your thoughts quiet. Especially when you had to watch Natasha train.

~~~~~

It was Natasha who asked you out. At first you thought she was joking and very nearly laughed but then you saw how she was standing, how she said 'will you go out with me' with such nonchalance that it was as if she was asking you to pass the ketchup. No one could be that cool and collected. It was the way she even played slightly with her fingernails that showed you she was nervous. You of course said yes.

That was the beginning of your relationship and you had been going strong for a good five years. The nausea and tiredness however, started three years into your relationship. Natasha used to joke that maybe you were pregnant when it had first started happening, the others laughing at even the thought of you cheating on Natasha. The jokes died down when after a month and a half of running to the bathroom, it finally affected your missions. You were sent right off to Dr Cho and no one would have anything else said on the matter. You had tried to fight them, of course - it really wasn't that bad. All you needed to do. was take some anti-nausea medication and you would be fine.

Leukaemia

You knew that one little word would do so much damage to your strange family if they ever found out. You sat in silence as you formulated a plan, Dr Cho just watching you, letting you process. What was the point in telling your family and causing them pain if the treatment plan Dr Cho had lined out for you worked? There wasn't. That's why you kept it a secret. Why you brushed off any comments about your increased nausea, or your lack of hunger. The only person who knew was Fury.

~~~~~

"Are you cheating on me?" Natasha had cornered you after a particularly tough session of chemotherapy. All you wanted to do was sleep.

"No. Why would you think that?" Words were hard to say when you had to put all your energy into just standing up.

"You go out at all times of the day and night, you're too damn tired to do anything and you never talk to me anymore Y/n... If you wanted to break up you didn't have to cheat."

You knew this day would come eventually. It was a year into your treatments and none of them seemed to be working. Natasha wasn't stupid. It's why you kissed her on the head and pulled her into the tightest hug you could muster.

"I would never do that. I love you Natasha Romanoff. I'll explain but let me get everyone here." You asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to call everyone down to the living room.

Once everyone was settled on the sofas and chairs, you sat on the coffee table, no longer being able to hold yourself up.

"I have leukaemia."

At first, you couldn't bring yourself to look at the others. You didn't want their pity but you knew they wouldn't be able to show anything else. You looked at Natasha first. You knew she wouldn't have a pitying look on her face.

You were right.

Natasha looked furious. How dare someone who didn't even want you in their lives give you a horrible disease. She knew your chances of survival weren't good but there were treatments that could help. She had more than enough money to get whatever treatment necessary.

Tony spoke first. "I'm going to my lab. FRIDAY, contact Dr Cho. I need Y/n's medical details."

Bruce followed quickly behind him. The others gave you sad but hopeful smiles. You couldn't bring yourself to tell them there was little hope.

~~~~~

Natasha had been gone on and off for 6 months. You knew your time was coming to a close but she still hadn't given up. She was always in some country following a lead for some experimental drug to try and cure you.

But there was no cure.

Not for this. Maybe one day there would be a cure, but not in your lifetime. The cure wouldn't be able to save you.

You were almost hesitant to let Natasha come back. It had been a while since she had seen you and now you looked like paper. You were thin and fragile and your skin had lost it's colour and took on a grey tinge. Your cheeks were hollow and your lips were constantly chapped and the only thing you could stomach were tiny meals and energy drinks.

You were dying.

Everyone had come to terms with it. Tony and Bruce never stopped trying to find a cure, it just wasn't for you anymore. Wanda tried her best to keep you as comfortable as she could with her powers and Steve would come and tell you stories of before he was put in the ice to entertain you. Clint would bring his kids until it got too painful for them to see you turn from the scariest, coolest person they knew into a hollow shell.

The only person who hadn't come to terms with it was Natasha.

"Nat she needs you." Steve told her when the team were all eating.

"I know. I really think this time this lead will be the one. Then she can be fixed and-"

"Natasha." Wanda cut her off, her voice dangerously low. She had heard this speech so many times that it was painful to hear it again. "She needs you. She's dying and you need to accept it. You don't have much longer left with her and you're abandoning her when you should be with her 24/7!" Wanda's eyes glowed slightly red as she thought of all the times she had to watch her best friend realise the love of her life wasn't there with her. The cutlery began to shake a little and something fell over in the kitchen.

The crash that you heard woke you up. Maybe it was Natasha. You hobbled out of what was supposed to be your shared room, and made your way to the kitchen. By the time you had reached the kitchen, everyone was fighting. There was food being thrown, knives being grabbed and glasses shattering everywhere. You just stood there as your best friend and your girlfriend attempted to kill each other.

"guys stop." Your throat hurt from hours of throwing up so your voice didn't carry.

"guys really..." You tried again, tears forming in your eyes. You didn't want to spend your last days watching your loved ones fight.

"FRIDAY tell them to stop. please."

"Miss Y/l/n would like you all to stop. Now."

Everyone turned to the doorway where you were standing, horrified that you saw them fighting.

"Y/n, you need to get to bed sweetie." Wanda walked over to you, wrapping her arm around your waist.

"Don't touch her." Natasha stormed over, taking your other side.

"Ladies there's no need to fight. You can share right?" You let out a soft laugh and watched as they both melted. Just because you were dying, it didn't mean you lost your sense of humour.

They both took you back to your shared room, Wanda leaving to give you and Natasha some privacy.

"Please don't go anymore." You laid with your head on Natasha's chest, her hand stroking your hair.

"But I'm so close. I can cure you Y/n."

"Natty please. I can tell I don't have much longer left and I don't know if I'll still be here for when you come back if you leave again."

"But I can't lose you." Natasha whispered, scared that if she spoke any louder, some other power would hear her and take you away from her too soon.

"So stay with me."

~~~~~

It was strange, you thought, lying on your bed; you had always thought you would die doing something spontaneous, or maybe in the field. Not because your cells were abnormal. Natasha had spent every moment with you since she returned 5 months ago. You had planned everything; your funeral, little messages to each of them, where to bury you. Everything was sorted. All that was left now, was to die.

It was an ordinary Wednesday afternoon when you felt the last drops of life drain from you. You knew it was time and so you turned to Natasha who had you wrapped up in her arms, placing a hand on her face, the rest of the Avengers all sitting there quietly.

“When the time is right, we’ll be together again. I’ll always be with you.” You then let your eyes drift shut, never to open again. Not in this world, anyway, but perhaps in the next.

A/N pt 2: NOOO BUT WHY AM I CRYING. THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT WAY AROUND. We've got some Peggy Carter fluff coming up soon tho :)

Also here is the request:

A Natasha x fem!reader. Reader was one of THE best shield agents and a great member of the avengers, but sadly had genetic cancer. After fighting for two years, with nausea, pain, and no improvement, reader knew she was dying. She didn’t want to admit it, especially after all the team has done to help her, especially her girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff. No amount of treatment or amount of money or technology Tony had was gonna save her. In the end, reader comes to terms with it. But Natasha doesn’t want reader to give up. Reader get through to Natasha that she wants to spend her last moments with her without putting more strain on her body. Natasha then comes to terms with it. Eventually, on readers death bed, surrounded by the rest of the avengers, Natasha is holding reader in her arms as reader says goodbye and looks to Natasha and says “When the time is right, we’ll be together again. I’ll always be with you” (GO NUTS AND MAKE IT ANGSTY)

[redrobin-detective]

Just one single glimpse of relief

TW: OC death, death themes

“Hey,” Sydnee looked up at the sound of the voice. It was familiar, safe, and it stopped her tears for a moment. She can’t remember where she was or what she’d been doing. All she knew was that she was scared and upset and didn’t know what to do. It felt like she’d been crying forever when the voice appeared. “Hey there, it’s Phantom. Can I come closer?”

Sydnee gasped as the town hero, Phantom, approached her slowly. Syd was a bit of a nerd and she couldn’t get enough of those superhero movies. She always tuned in to Phantom’s fights on TV; he was as close as she’d get to a real life Superman or Captain Marvel. She’d never seen him up close before though. He was younger than he appeared on TV, not more than his early teens. Sydnee, almost 24, was hit by a wave of mortification over how they’d described the hunky, we-thought-he-was-older kid on Margarita Night. This day just got better and better, not that she remembered it.

“How are you doing?” Phantom asked quietly, floating near her but not getting too close. He was watching her warily but not unkindly. She saw how some folks treated him, he was probably worried she’d throw a shoe at him. “What’s your name?”

“Sydnee, with an extra e not a y. Uh Tanner, Sydnee Tanner,” she mumbled. Ugh why were words so hard. Her head felt fuzzy and very far away, she thinks she was going to start panicking again. What was she even so upset about? “I don’t know what’s going on. Where are we and what happened. I don’t- I don’t remember anything.”

“It’s okay,” he said soothingly, floating a little closer. The soft glow he emitted brightened up the dark place they were in. Was she in a collapsed tunnel? What had she been doing here? She’d never been claustrophobic but the debris and rubble of the place seemed to close in on her. “Hey, hey, just look at me.” She turned and met his kind eyes, soft and easy. “We’ll walk through it together. What is the last thing you remember?”

“I was late to work,” Syd said, the memory popping up before her. “I um work at the Donut Delights bakery in that strip mall next to the middle school. My cats had knocked over some of my houseplants in the night so I had to clean them up and was running behind. I open the store on Wednesdays - oh it’s Wednesday! - so I knew I’d be in trouble. But I made it, just barely. I was starting up the ovens when.” Syd furrowed her brow and took in the hero before her. The one who was almost never seen outside a fight. “There was a ghost attack, wasn’t there?”

“Welcome to Amity Park,” Phantom said grimly. “I’ve been here a couple times; the jalapeno bacon topped donuts are my favorite. My mom and sister buy them sometimes if they want to bribe me into doing something.”

“You weirdo, only crazy people eat that weird flavor,” Sydnee chuckled. “You have a family?”

“Of course, we all have a family out there somewhere. What about you?” He asked gently. There was something about the soft way he was talking to her, the way his eyes flickered around the dark like he was looking for something. He had news he didn’t want to tell her and she wasn’t ready to hear it. Not yet. Just a few more minutes of denial before she faced the revelation she couldn’t bear to touch yet.

“Yeah, mom and dad and two younger sibs. Folks divorced forever ago, I barely remember them actually being together. Mom is is living it up in Dubai working as a pastry chef in one of their fancy hotels. Dad’s an auto-mechanic down on Maple street, Duke’s Car Services. Pretty sure you got tossed through the window a year ago.”

“I’ve been tossed through many windows but I know the place you’re talking about. So a big family, any friends? Boyfriends? Girlfriends?”

“I have a boyfriend,” she continued on hastily, taking the distraction for what it was. “I like him, a lot and we’ve been dating since high school. Everyone says I should marry him and we’ve talked about it, casually, but I’ve never dated anyone else and wonder if I should see other people first. You know, test the waters before I settle down with my high school sweetheart like my folks did and look how they turned out.”

“Mhmm,” Phantom hummed nodding, encouraging her to continue.

“DeShawn is great though, he’s very supportive and sweet in his own kind of absentminded way. He’s got epilepsy real bad though, I have to drive him everywhere since he’s always at risk of a seizure. Annoying sometimes but its nice, you can learn a lot about a person from a conversation while you’re alone together.”

“Very true, I’m learning a lot now,” Phantom smiled. “What about your siblings?”

“I have a brother and a sister, Kennedy is finishing his sophomore year of college and Janelle will be a senior in high school. She was a surprise baby, one last attempt of my parents to reconcile before the big D. It didn’t help but I got a great sister out of it, she’s a real firecracker.”

“Janelle,” Phantom’s eyes lit up. “She’s the one always dying her hair. I see her in the hallways of Casper, she’s hard to miss. I think she draws too, she won an art award I think.”

“Yeah!” Sydnee said enthusiastically, she reached out and grabbed ahold of Phantom’s arm. It was cold but solid. It reminded her that she really couldn’t feel anything, nothing but him. “Yeah, I swear her hair is a new color every time I see her. It’s a dark purple now, it looks pretty good on her. She was a peachy orange for picture day last year. Mom called her up screaming when she saw the photos.”

“I thought it looked cool,” Phantom grinned, “not that I was there for picture day. Ghost attack, you know. My mom was upset with me too.” They laughed lightly for a minute before it gently petered off leaving them alone in the dark. Sydnee didn’t have any feeling in her toes, in any part of her. She felt light and disconnected and all over out of sorts. She was pretty sure she knew what had happened but she couldn’t face it yet. But talking to Phantom, it seemed a little easier.

“I remember the attack now,” Sydnee stated quietly. “It was a big ghost bear only it was the size of a pickup truck. It rammed into the store there was chaos and screaming. It was so loud, the screaming of the customers, the bear, building coming down on top of us...” her lips wobbled. “We’re still in the store, aren’t we? I haven’t wanted to turn around because... because I know my body is buried underneath the concrete back there.”

“Yeah,” Phantom breathed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get here in time. Most everyone in the area got out but you and a few others in the store got trapped under the rubble. Mrs. McDaniels who lived on Eustis street and was the first woman in her family to go to college plus Eddie Drake who came down from Chicago to check out the ghost stuff with their boyfriend and was a tattoo artist.”

“Did you talk to them too?” She questioned in surprise.

“Briefly, Mrs. McDaniels didn’t stay long, just long enough to tell me, and I quote, “stop wasting time on her dead ass and get to the others.” She already passed on. Eddie, they didn’t take it well. We talked for a while and I think they need a little more time to accept it, see their loved ones first. I warned them that the longer they delay death, the harder it is and the more you lose yourself. You’re the last, all the way in the back of the store. When you’re ready, I’m going to bring your body out.”

“Thank you,” she whispered before breaking out into hysterical laughter. “God I bet I’m a wreck, I think I put my shirt on inside out I was in such a rush this morning,” she sniffled. “What do I do now, as a ghost? I don’t have to, like, attack people, do I?”

“No,” Phantom sighed. “Most ghosts are just normal people, no one else but other ghosts will see you and you’re not going to be strong enough to interact with the real world for a long, long time. You can stick around a bit if you want, watch over your family but it’s like I told Eddie, you forget things pretty quick. Or you can move on, that part I can’t help you with but I’ve helped a lot of others go that route and I’m told it’s easy.”

“Easy, then why haven’t you?” She questioned angrily, the full weight of the situation crashing over her. She shoved him and he floated back passively. “I’m a freaking ghost and you’re here talking to me like you’re my therapist or something. Who’s gonna take DeShawn to his appointments? Or praise my sister’s creative messes? Or badger Ken into picking major? My life is over and you think you can float there and lecture me about it being easy to move on!”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Phantom soothed, scratching at the back of his neck. “I’m so sorry Sydnee, I wish I could turn back the clock an hour, two hours, and prevent this from happening but I can’t. I’ve tried to mess with time and it doesn’t end well for anyone. I just want, I just want what’s best for you now. You can stay or you can go but I want you to make the decision that you feel most comfortable with. That’s all I can do for you.”

“I think I’d be sad,” she said, crying again, “being able to see everyone but not talk to them, to watch them cry over me. I don’t want to forget them either.” Phantom watched her, easily and earnestly. “What made you choose to stay? Why didn’t you go?”

“I’m a little complicated but I can tell you, when I’ve done all I need to here, I’m not hanging around a second longer than I have to. Being a ghost has it’s perks but it’s also, it’s being stuck in a place you longer fit, watching the world go on without you.”

“Okay,” Syd hiccupped. “Okay, yeah okay.”

“Okay,” Phantom nodded. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, please don’t,” she grabbed his hands again. “Please I don’t, I know I died alone but I don’t want to do... this alone. Please stay, ugh, calling you Phantom is weird sorry.”

“I don’t know if it’s any less weird but you can call me Danny,” Phantom, Danny, laughed. It was an ordinary name for a superhero but it fit. There was a special thrill in knowing the ghost boy’s name but it’s not like she was going to be around to tell anyone. It was scary, to think of not existing but also sort of comforting, like a long nap with nothing pressing to get up for.

“Can you tell them that I love them, in my place? I know it’s a lot and I’m sure you’re super busy saving the town and everything-”

"It’s not a problem. I’m sure they know but I’ll be happy to pass on the message,” he smiled and it made him look so young. For a second she was struck by how sad it was that she was relying on a kid a decade younger than her for support. But he was here and he was kind and he was what she needed right now. Maybe one day, he’d have his own person talking him through this last step. 

“Okay, Danny, thanks really. For talking, for staying. I’m scared but I, I think I’m ready.” She closed her eyes and squeezed his hands tightly. “Do you, will it hurt?”

“No,” he said, his voice warm despite his inherent chill. “No, Sydnee. No, the hurting is all over now. All you have left ahead of you is peace. Thank you for all that did, you’ll be missed.”

“I’ll see you on the other side. Goodbye.” The world faded to a pinprick, consumed by light. The last thing she saw before she went into it was a stranger’s smile. 

XxX

“Here’s the last,” Phantom said solemnly, delicately setting a broken body he’d carried out of the dilapidated building and on the sidewalk next to the others. “This is Sydnee Tanner, she was the only employee in the store at the time. She has cats at home who will need taking care of. Her dad works at Duke’s Car Services along with siblings and a boyfriend.”

“Don’t know how you know all that but thanks for getting these folks out,” Sheriff Newton sighed. “Damn shame. Keep up the good work kid, we’ll save the next ones for sure. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some rather unhappy news to break to several people.”

“Do you mind if I tag along? I have a few messages I need to pass on.”

[thenamesseven]

Pairing: Lee Donghyuk x Reader

Genre: Comedy, romance.

Warnings: None, just some swearing.

Word count: 6.2k

Plot: You didn’t know how your best friend had managed to convince you to go to this blind date, you hated the idea and you knew it was not going to be succesful since the very beginning, specially since she refused to tell you who the guy was. If only you had known it was Lee Donghyuk, the only person in this world that seemed to hate you, you wouldn’t even have bothered to get dressed up in the first place.

Check out the NCT masterlist here for more oneshots and stories!

A/N: This is a part of an event I wanted to participate in! You can check the event’s masterlist here to see more upcoming oneshots!

Sitting on the passenger seat of your best friend's car you stared ahead at the american styled cinema, where the blind date she had organized for you would take place in. You kept internally swearing at yourself, trying to remember why you had agreed to something like this in the first place. Yuna had been insisting about this for an entire week and you had grown tired of her whining at some point so you had accepted that the only way to make it end had been accepting the blind date and here you were, having a mental breakdown while desperately trying to calm yourself down. You couldn’t lie though, the idea of opening the car door and running away before she could catch up to you had crossed your mind more times that you would like to admit but you knew Yuna would ran you over with her car to stop you if she had to, she had no mercy when it came to things like this. 

Dates had never been your forte and you didn’t need to be a genius to guess blind dates weren’t going to be suited for you either. It was not that you were socially awkward, in fact, you had always been the kind of person that attracted everybody’s attention unintentionally, your big, bright smiles always lighting up the room you were in. The cheerful yet easy-going aura that surrounded you 24/7 lifted up even the worse moods and your positive mindset gave you this chill flow that turned contagious, people basically loved to be around you.

Although the little confidence you seemed to have around your friends was quick to vanish when you found yourself alone with someone that was of the opposite sex. Compliments made you stutter, innocent caresses made your eyes zero on the ground underneath your feet and flirting turned your face red. Everyone thought it was cute, guys kept muttering how their heart melted when you turned so shy around them but you honestly didn’t like it, in fact, it only made you feel even less confident when any of those things happened. Nobody noticed it made you feel uncomfortable, that the constant fidgeting that you unconsciously did when all of those things happened wasn’t because you were too shy but because you wanted to get out of there. You tended to avoid all those kinds of interactions at all cost and that implied avoiding dates. Being single is alright anyways, you didn’t feel an urgent need to change that.

So again, why the hell were you here then?

“Ah-ah” The sudden voice of Yuna, the one to blame about your current situation, made you jump on your seat, not having expected her to speak up out of nowhere. Your hand moved away from the door handle as if it had burned you and your eyes closed defeated while you slumped back against the leathered seat “Don’t even think about running away” Her warning made you whine, face scrunching up in dislike which earned you a strong slap on your arm.

“Ow!” You screamed shocked, opening your eyes to look at her in disbelief “What was that for? I wasn’t going to run away!” 

Struggling to keep her serious face on, Yuna glared at you “You’re going to ruin your make up if you keep frowning so much!” She scolded, rolling her eyes when you lied at her “Please (Y/N), we both know you suck at lying so let’s just ignore you were trying to open that door and started running as if you were possessed” 

“Please Yuna?” You asked quietly, almost ready to kneel down on your seat and start seriously begging “I’ll do all the house chores for a week, I’ll even do your laundry” When Yuna shook her head, you sighed in frustration, knowing she was determined to make this blind date happen no matter what. “What’s so special about this date that you’re not letting me back down from this?” 

“I’m doing it for you, I’m sure you’ll have fun in this one” Yuna said gently, her smile turning sweet as she faced you, reaching out to rest one of her hands on your shoulder so she could give it a soft squeeze “Trust me, I’ve never lied to you, have I?”

“Well” You said quietly, giving up as you relaxed, a smirk appearing on your lips “Actually…”

“Get out of my car!” She screamed, not letting you finish the sentence that would refutate her last question “Take your ass into that cinema and have fun tonight, you’ll tell me all the details later!” 

Opening your mouth, you were about to let out another little rant full of complaints and whines but Yuna, who had obviously seen this coming, sped up and left you completely alone in the parking lot. A cold breeze blew right on time, making your body shiver as you slid your sweaty hands in your pockets, your brain still trying to weigh the decisions you had in hand.

Enter the cinema and attempt to enjoy your blind date or be painfully murdered by Yuna.

You were too young to die, your daily life was awkward enough so why not add a bit more of it for a few hours?

“I’m seriously going to kill her when I get home” You muttered out loud, fixing your jacket as you forced yourself to start walking in the direction of the cinema. One step at a time, moving against your will.

Right when you approached the door and reached out to pull it open, someone else pushed it from the inside, almost hitting your face with it. Ready to scold whoever had been so careless, you put your baddie face on and rested your hands on your waist copying the position Yuna used to scold you whenever you did something wrong. Although it was a couple who walked out, hands intertwined and eyes too focused on the other to even realize you were standing there. You opened your mouth to say something but your heart clenched just in time to stop your own voice, feeling bad for almost interrupting the little moment they were having. You could only look at the both of them as they walked away, a quiet sigh exiting your lips when you felt a spark of jealousy in your chest, being single might not be as fun as you wanted it to be, if only dating was simple as that couple made it be....

"Get out, I'm late!" 

Interrupting your train of thoughts, a presence behind you and apparently willing to head inside the cinema at light's speed pushed past you without even looking back to see if he had made you fall down.

"Hey!" You shouted, stumbling back but luckily resting your hand against a nearby wall to steady yourself, frowning at the masculine figure that ran inside the cinema. He was now the new target of your inner frustration, which had gotten so much stronger that you didn’t even realized that voice didn’t belong to a stranger but to someone you fairly knew. You caught a glimpse of his long black coat and his fluffy hair but it still didn’t ring any bells to you "Ugh, why so-"

Dusting off your clothes, your eyes landed on the watch you had chosen to wear tonight and when you saw the time, your heart literally stopped beating. You had arrived fifteen minutes earlier, how were you late all of a sudden? 

"Excuse me!" You exclaimed as you ran past the cute couple, barely managing to dodge them as you rushed inside as well. Their complaints were cut off by you closing the cinema's door behind you but you weren't fast enough to stop your own feet before walking into the guy that had made his way in before you, the one that ran into you like a freaking rugby player. 

"Ow!" He jumped away when your face slammed the back of his coat, sending waves of pain through your nose. Your hands flew to your face and you bit down hard onto your lower lip to not start swearing like a truck driver. "Dude, watch where you're going!"

"Where am I going?" You said in pain, still covering your face as you tried to get rid of the couple of tears that had appeared in your eyes "What were you doing standing there like a creep?" You heard him groan and the sound only seemed even more familiar but you still couldn't guess who he was. 

"Wait" Surprised by the sound of your voice, Donghyuk turned around so fast that he almost hurt himself. His eyes opened wide and his mouth opened and closed as if he was a fish out of the water. "(Y/N)? Is that you?" At the sound of your name you couldn’t help but peek up curiously, willing to see who was the one to blame for almost breaking your nose. 

The first thing you saw were the white and spotless adidas he was wearing, they seemed new unlike the ones you had at home which were totally worn out from how much you’ve been wearing them. Then your eyes moved up without missing the way his black tight jeans hugged his legs, leaving little to nothing to your imagination as the white oversize shirt he was wearing left you wondering what could be hiding underneath it.

“Are you checking me out?” Donghyuk asked scoffing, still looking at you “Gross”

“D-Donghyuk?” His name came out of your lips in a quiet whisper, stuttering it. You sniffed quietly, rubbing your nose one last time before putting your hands back down into your pockets “What are you doing here?” Your question brought frowns up to both of your faces, this was why you tended to avoid dates, what kind of question was that in the first place?

“I could ask the same thing to you” He replied smugly, shrugging as he turned his full attention on to you. 

Getting slightly self-conscious, you gathered all the courage that was still remaining in you and crossed your arms over your chest, slightly raising your chin a little so you would look a bit more intimidating instead of looking like a lost puppy. 

“I’m here because I’m going on a blind date” You said, your lips unconsciously scrunching up in a cute pout “Why?”

Donghyuk and you weren’t best friends, you didn’t even know if the two of you were even close to be friends to begin with. He was in most of your classes which had forced the two of you to interact a couple of times but he always seemed to be kind of unwilling when it came to maintaining a conversation with you. You didn’t know why but you always assumed he just didn’t like you, your parents had always told you not everybody was going to want to be your friend and he, apparently, was one.

“A blind date?” Donghyuk started laughing at your words, looking at you as if he had just heard the funniest thing in the universe, hands resting upon his stomach as he slightly bent down a little bit. After almost five seconds where you were seriously considering he might have lost his mind, Donghyuk’s smile disappeared and was replaced by a straight line. “You’re kidding me, right?” Blinking, you could only stare at his face feeling extremely confused, was he mad now? How did he go from laughing his lungs out to look as if he wanted to punch you?

“Are you bipolar?” You blurted out, not even thinking before making the question.

“Are you dumb?” He reached out to knock on your head gently, making you flinch underneath his knuckles every time they met the side of your skull “Sounds empty to me so yeah, you might be”

“Ow!” You pushed him away, not willing to be knocked on the head again, throwing daggers with your eyes at him “What’s wrong with you? Did you lose your mind or something!?” 

“Please tell me Yuna did not set you up for that date” He whined, stomping one of his feet down onto the floor as he ran his fingers through his hair, kind of messing it up a little bit. Stress was evident on his face now and you were too busy wondering how could he go through so many emotions in such little time to remember you still had to answer him “(Y/N)? Are you even listening to me!?” He snapped his fingers in front of your eyes, bringing you out of your short trance to meet his once again.

“She did….Why?” You replied, slightly tilting your head, looking at him expectantly to see which emotion will you be able to see on his face this time.

It was frustration. 

“Why? Why!?” He exclaimed, resting his hands on his hips, eyes as open as ever as he stared down at you “Mark! I’m so going to kill him” He fumed, not answering your question, confusing you even more with his random answer.

“Mark? What does your best friend have to do with this?” You asked, reaching up to scratch the back of your head, feeling extremely lost in this conversation. 

Donghyuk whined once again “You’re really are dumb, aren’t you?” He said looking like he was about to cry from how angry he was “Mark and Yuna are dating, they obviously set us up on purpose!” The lady at the front desk flinched a little bit when he raised his voice even more, you smiled apologetically at her and bowed your head lightly, apologizing for his behaviour.

Now it made sense why Yuna had refused to even tell you the name of the guy you had to meet. 

“Don’t you trust my taste?” She had asked with a cute pout, one she knew you wouldn’t be able to resist “He’s a good guy! You’ll have so much fun with him” Yuna giggled mischievously, reaching out to grab both of your hands so you could keep your attention on her “And he’s quite handsome too, you’ll thank me for this”

“How would I find him in that place though? I don’t even know how he looks like” You had complained, looking at her, knowing she already had an answer for that.

“You’ll know when you get there, don’t worry about that!”

Yuna’s giggles and words hadn’t been suspicious back then but now that you replayed the conversation in your head, you saw the obvious signs of her pulling you into one of her naughty plans. She was surely going to hear a good scolding from you as soon as you set one foot into your apartment, oh, she was going to regret this so hard.

“Quite handsome my ass” You mumbled pouting, voice so low that Donghyuk didn’t even hear you over his own frustration. Glancing at him, you couldn’t help but laugh quietly at his angry typing, if he kept touching his phone screen that hard the phone would end up breaking for sure.

“He’s not picking up or answering to my texts” He told you, sighing defeated, pinching the bridge of his nose “He’s so dead when I get home”

“Yuna’s not going to pick up either, don’t bother to try” You informed him, standing there as more people walked inside, willing to have the fun you had wanted to have until you found out who was supposed to be your companion for the night.

“And what are we supposed to do now?” He asked reaching down into his pocket and fishing out what seemed to be two tickets for a movie “I already bought the tickets” 

His words brought a frown to your face “What if I didn’t like the movie you chose?” You asked pouting at him. You had been dying to check out the new comedy romance that came out not too long ago in which your favorite actor, Cha Eunwoo, starred as the main male character. Donghyuk didn’t even think about choosing that one for sure.

“Yes, thank you Donghyuk for buying the tickets, I could have paid for mine” He said in a high pitched voice, trying to imitate yours “I didn’t know you were the one I was being set up with, I would have made you pay for everything if I had-” Not letting him finish his sentence, you used your purse to hit Donghyuk’s side as hard as you could. “Ow! What was that for?” Donghyuk complained, watching you stealing one of the tickets from his hand as you walked inside the cinema without saying something else, not even waiting for him “(Y/N)! Hey! Hey!”

The people around you probably thought you were having a lovers quarrel….

If the only knew.

----------

Plopping down onto your designated seat, you leaned back against it letting out a soft sigh, keeping your eyes glued to the huge white screen situated in front of you while Donghyuk occupied the seat besides yours.

“If someone we know sees us together, you’re dead” He grumbled, tapping his foot against the floor at a speed that surely wasn’t human “I can’t believe we’re doing this” Donghyuk whispered, shaking his head, looking disappointed in himself.

“You already bought the tickets” You answered shrugging “You would have wasted your money if we had decided to not watch it”

“At least you got popcorn” He muttered without even glancing your way, automatically reaching out to put his hand into the popcorn you just bought.

But before he succeeded in stealing some, you managed to move it away earning another glare for him, if looks could kill, you would have been buried already “I bought this” Despite your words and your strong feelings against him eating the popcorn you bought, you quickly regretted saying it when you remembered he had bought the tickets before you could even think about paying for yours. Besides, he looked as if he could kill you right now and you weren’t going to take the risk of eating something he wanted while sitting in a dark room for two hours more or less.

“Thank you” He said quietly, turning his glare into a fake sweet smile, shoving a bunch of your sweet and delicious popcorn into his mouth and absolutely ignoring the glare and pout on your face as you looked at him.

“What movie are we watching?” You asked him, keeping your eyes on the screen as you also started eating, at this point, there would be no popcorn left when the movie started.

“I told Jaemin to get me the tickets for that Eunwoo’s movie, I know all girls are crazy about him and knew my date would have enjoyed watching it” He explained shrugging, surprising you, he had definitely put more effort than you had expected him to for this date.

After that, Donghyuk and you stayed quiet. The snacks the two of you bought were enough of a distraction to not feel awkward with the silence that had settled down between the two of you while you waited for the lights to turn down. There was no conversation when the popcorns were almost over either so you busied yourself with the trailers that were being played, getting hyped at some movies, thinking you would definitely have to come with Yuna to see them if you didn’t murder her tonight. 

A few minutes later the movie started playing and you had to admit you were kind of excited about it. Even if it hurt your ego to admit it, Donghyuk had been kind of sweet, choosing a movie that would surely bore him out instead of picking a horror or an action one that would have put you to sleep in seconds. He had known a romance movie was a safe choice for a date and you silently gave him credit for that, whoever ended up going on a date with him after tonight’s disaster was surely kind of lucky. 

Although things started getting kind of weird and alarms started ringing in your head when you were almost thirty minutes into the movie and Cha Eunwoo, who was supposed to be one of the main characters, hadn’t appeared yet. The starting had thrown you off a little, there was no high school and no girls falling in love with Eunwoo and you definitely accepted the two of you were sitting in the wrong movie when the guy that showed up seemed to be running away from something supernatural that ended up killing him.

Damn, you would have been in tears if that had been Eunwoo. 

“Uh…” You didn’t know if you should point it out but one glance at Donghyuk told you he seemed to be as uneasy as you were about this entire thing “I think we walked into the wrong room” You whispered, avoiding to lean closer to him. However, when he didn’t even glance your way, you assumed he was either deaf, ignoring you or too into the movie to realize you were talking to him. Moving as quietly as you could, in order to not disturb anyone around you, you leaned in closer to Donghyuk’s ear, making sure he would hear you this time “Donghyuk” You called him out again.

He didn’t shout but his body moved faster than you could react and in a second, all the popcorn that had been left in the container placed between the two of you rained down on your heads. Donghyuk had flinched too hard and his arms had automatically reached up in the air, making the container fly and spilling its content on the two of you just right when one of the ghosts that were apparently haunting his home scared the main character.

“What the fuck (Y/N)?” He asked, serious as ever as he turned his head to look into your eyes. You could feel tears gathering in your eyes as you bit your lip as hard as you could, avoiding to start laughing your lungs out at what you had just seen. You should have recorded it, Donghyuk scared was the funniest thing you’ve ever seen in your life “Are you trying to murder me or something because I ate your popcorn?” 

“Maybe” You only said, afraid that if you spoke for longer you would inevitably started laughing and get your ass kicked out of the room.

“Well you almost accomplished your mission” He said letting out a soft sigh, placing his hand on his chest as his heart kept pounding incredibly hard “Jesus, hanging out with you is not being good for my health at all” He whispered, shaking his head, looking down at his knees. 

“Didn’t you get the tickets for that romance movie though?” You finally decided to ask, still close to him to keep your voice as quiet as you could, Donghyuk’s eyes were already back on the screen, his hand eating the popcorn that had fallen on him “I don’t see any romance going on here” 

When he turned around to face you, his face was in a mix of still offended by his previous yet faint heart attack and a silent ‘are you dumb?’ question “Well the guys wanted to organized this entire thing, I trusted them and right after I saw who Mark had paired me up with I knew Jaemin hadn’t bought the tickets for the movie I wanted either”

“So you’re telling me I have to seat here and-”

“SHHH” Someone from the seats above yours interrupted your sentence, probably fed up with your chatting. 

Donghyuk looked over his shoulder and just when you thought he was about to defend you he opened his mouth and surprised you -not for the best- once again “I know right, she’s annoying” You couldn’t hold yourself back though and slapped his arm, ignoring the way he frowned and glared at you while you accommodated yourself back on your seat. 

“Idiot” You whispered, rolling your eyes, letting him devour the popcorn YOU bought for YOURSELF, deciding to just focus on the movie and on planning how you were going to get rid of Yuna’s corpse once you killed her.

When your eyes returned to the screen, the main character was currently going downstairs, lights turned off and a flashlight in his hand. You rolled your eyes at the cliche situation and again mentally thought why always people in horror movies thought it was a good idea to check a weird noise without carrying something that could help you defend yourself. In fact, if it was you in that movie, you would have locked yourself in your bedroom and yeeted yourself out of the window. 

No murderer or ghost was going to end your life. Not if you were managing to get through this horrible date.

---------

“Can we grab some food?” You asked as soon as the two of you were out of the movie  room, ignoring the way the rest of the couples glanced your way and chuckled, obviously amused by how the two of you had behaved during the entire movie. Donghyuk would never admit it but he had been as scared as you, miraculously none of you had shitted your pants.

“No” Donghyuk quickly rejected, not even daring to look at you “Let me just take you home and end this horrible date, please?” 

“But I’m hungry” You pouted behind him, using your whiny voice to get on his nerves even more

Donghyuk stopped walking suddenly, making you walk straight into his back once again. This time though you managed to get a quick whiff of the cologne he had chosen to wear tonight, to say he smelled nice would be a total misunderstandment. If it wasn’t for his shitty attitude towards you, you would have to admit that he could have totally stolen your heart away with his looks and that killer smile he always carried around when he was joking with his friends. Unfortunately, his dislike towards you was enough to let you know the two of you would never end up having a relationship like that, you would have to settle with him standing you throughout the rest of the night.

He was quick to turn around though, placing his hands on your shoulders to stabilize you in case you lost your balance “You’re not going to stop whining until we get something to eat, right?” He asked, eyes looking straight into yours.

“Exactly” You replied with an innocent smile on your face before you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to look as intimidating as he did.

Although, in Donghyuk’s eyes, you only looked even cuter.

Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair before he turned around again to start heading to the parking lot “Alright, we’ll get some food before going home then” 

“You’re the b-”

“But you’re paying” He quickly interrupted, walking away even faster before you could start complaining about this newfound information.

---------------------------

”If you drop ketchup on my leather seats, you’re walking all the way back home” 

Donghyuk warned as he stopped the car in a deserted place, leaning back against his seat comfortably once he had turned off the ignition. You hummed quietly, letting him know you heard his threat while you also started taking his order out of the paper bag carefully, trying not to drop any food in his precious car. You were kind of far from home and knew he wouldn’t hesitate to make you walk all the way back.

“I won’t, I won’t” You replied with a small smile, breaking the paper bag to put it down on your lap in case some of the sauce of your hamburger dripped down and stained something while you ate it.

Just like it had happened in the cinema, a new silence settled down between the two of you now that you were too focused on eating your food, it wasn’t uncomfortable though, you just preferred eating in silence rather than arguing constantly. While you ate dinner, you noticed a few other cars had parked around his, keeping enough distance to not be able to see who the people inside the vehicle were but still making you frown with curiosity. It wasn’t until you took another look around the place that you finally recognized where Donghyuk had parked.

“Isn’t this the place where people come to make out?” 

Donghyuk choked on the fries he was eating. 

You hadn’t really done it intentionally, you didn’t even know he was eating when the question had suddenly flew out of your mouth. He kept coughing as you reached out to pat his back with one of your hands, holding your drink with the other to not drop it in the car and make the situation even worse than it already was.

“What kind of question is that (Y/N)? What the fuck?” He asked, voice hoarse as he cleared his throat, still feeling the food stuck in a place it shouldn’t be.

“Are you planning to make out with me?” You asked jokingly, wiggling your eyebrows at him. Maybe it was the lack of light but you thought you had seen a hint of a smile in Donghyuk’s face when you said that, however he was quick to turn his face away and look out of the window, avoiding any kind of eye contact.

“You’re nuts” He muttered, successfully hiding the amusement in his voice, doing it so well that it actually made a frown appear on your face.

You had been thinking about this for the entire night and even though you had tried to play his comments off as jokes, his dislike and rejection towards you was starting to be a little bothering. You hadn’t felt that bad during the date, you haven’t even felt as awkward as you usually did so the time you spent with him hadn’t been that bad. Did he dislike you so much that he couldn’t even bear the thought of making those kinds of jokes with you?

“What? Am I that ugly?” You were supposed to sound amused, your words had been a simple joke in response to what he had said but Donghyuk couldn’t ignore the soft sourness in them, the way you scoffed just told him he had said enough for tonight. “I guess I crossed a line there” You muttered with a sigh

“What are you talking about now?” He asked, turning around again to face you, this time with a frown on his face, a sincere one.

“I mean, I know you didn’t expect to go on a date with me and that our friends were only trying to prank us but you could at least try to hide your discontent a little bit” You confessed, eyes glued to the front glass even though you could feel him staring at you from the driver’s seat “Like I tried my best to be nice and all you did was shove me away, this didn’t need to be a date, we could have just tried to hang out as friends” 

Donghyuk knew he had fucked up big time as he listened to your rambling and his attitude had ended up hurting your feelings when he never had any intentions of doing that. He actually couldn’t help but feel bad because of it, staying quiet for a few minutes before he finally decided to say something.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was being that big of a jerk” He said quietly, looking down at his lap before he took the fries he hadn’t eaten yet “Want to eat my fries?” 

You didn’t know if he was either joking or being genuinely serious and honestly, you also didn’t know which was worse “I just want to know why you hate me so much” You scoffed tired of beating around the bush, ready to face the explanation you were finally craving for.

“You’re kidding me, right?” He huffed, suddenly looking offended “Like this has to be the ultimate prank of the night” Donghyuk actually turned around on his seat so he could face you with most of his body, eyes dead serious as if he was planning to stare straight into your soul “Why would you think I hate you (Y/N)?”

You blinked confused “Uhm...Do you want me to narrate with detail all the reasons you gave me tonight or….?”

“I don’t hate you” He said sighing, true that he might have been an absolute jerk but he had his reasons “I mean how did you expect me to behave right after you rejected me?” 

“What?” 

“Especially after how you did it” He kept rambling “I mean, maybe I expected a ‘I'm sorry you’re not my type?’ But not for you to throw the letter away without even giving it a second glance” 

“A letter?” You asked, your brain searching for any memories that would resemble something similar to what he was talking about. It only took you a few seconds before you remembered something, it had happened at the beginning of the year and you hadn't paid too much attention to it. During one of your classes, when you opened one of your books during a class, you had found a note but what was written in it had made you assume it was a joke. “Wait, are you talking about the note that said...I like your smile, I like your ass, you should date me, I’m a guy with class….Go out with me, you won’t forget, I’ll buy you food and spoil you to no end?” When Donghyuk stayed in silence as you recited the poem you had found, you guessed he must have been the author behind it. “i thought it was a joke Donghyuk”

“Well, the guys helped me write it and….” Now that he had listened to it from another’s person mouth the poem didn’t sound as good as his friends had made it sound “I-”

“I didn’t even know it was you” You said exasperated “Like Haechan? I’ve never heard somebody call you like that?” 

“My friends do?” 

“And I should know that because…..?”

Donghyuk had to admit his strategy to ask you out had completely sucked and he could now understood why you thought he had hated you, you didn’t even know you had rejected him in the first place “I’m not listening to the guys again” He muttered under a whisper “Not in my life” He added with a deep sigh

“Yeah, I think you should avoid doing that” You replied with a small smile, watching him drown in embarrassment as he leaned his head back against the seat to stare at the car’s ceiling “So all this time you just thought I rejected you?”

“Well, what was I supposed to think?” He asked hiding his face behind both of his hands, making sure you wouldn’t see the soft blush that was creeping up his neck, you couldn’t help but chuckle at that

“You guys are such huge idiots” You finally said, deciding to break the tension in between the two of you as you started laughing, really amused by the entire situation.

Donghyuk peeked at you through his fingers, feeling even more embarrassed but also kind of relief now that you didn’t seem to be as upset as you were before. He was still shy and felt like a complete idiot for everything but your happiness was just as contagious as ever and he found himself smiling behind his hands, shaking his head in embarrassment. 

“Please let me take you out on another date? I promise it will be way better, at least just to make up for this horrible hang out?” He asked mortified, groaning as he hit the back of his head against his seat again.

“You’re kidding me, right?” You asked back, repeating the same words he had used a few minutes ago.

“Was it that bad? Did you really hate it?” He removed his hands from his face to look at your face, he really did seem like he was regretting everything he had said tonight “I promise I won’t let the guys plan it again” 

“I’m kidding, I’ll go on another date with you” You said chuckling, watching him visibly relax “But next time…”

“Mhm?” 

“You’re paying for the food” Donghyuk allowed himself to finally smile at your words, shaking his head as he chuckled. He nodded at your condition, going back to eating his fries.

“And we’ll make out in here” His so unexpected words made you choke on the drink you had been sipping and the fact that you tried your hardest to not spit it out your mouth only made it worse because it ended up coming out of your nose and unfortunately, staining his leather seats. 

“(Y/N) WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU!?” He shouted alarmed, throwing napkins your way, making some of them land on your face.

“IF YOU HADN’T SAID ANYTHING I WOULDN’T HAVE SPILLED THAT THROUGH MY NOSE” You shouted back, breaking the calm and relaxed atmosphere of the place, unknowingly interrupting multiple make out sessions.

If someone would have told the couples around you that the two of you were on your first date, they would have surely replied ‘You’re kidding me, right? Those two hate each other’ but in fact, time would tell that the joke was actually on them and nothing, not even Donghyuk’s leather seats getting food stains, would tear the two of you apart.

[sandundersun]

Everyone has a Downside, He isn't Excused

vernon x reader || romance || 1.3K words 

warning: mention of blood

tbh this is not really romance, it’s a short description of hansol’s life

He was probably the weirdest and the toughest man you passed by in life.

He wasn't afraid of any extreme entertainment; haunted house ride, skydiving, any kind of spice, putting water in extremely hot oil, walking as if he owned the hall when he was ten minutes late to class. He gave a little to no fuck about challenges in life. If his parent put him in a sports club on his younger day and he chose to be a long jump athlete, he probably would be good; or you could send him as a shepherd with no internet connection for two months and he would come back with no scratch; it was some strong kind of endurance partnered with adaptivity, or witchcraft.

So, maybe, maybe that's why God gave him a little downside—that could kill him in a colossal amount but on a usual day it was only mildly annoying.

The boy was allergic to mundane things you stumbled upon in everyday life. He was hardly enjoying springtime when the grass became less green and more colorful, as flowers blossom here and there, because the pollen made his eyes itchy; he couldn't eat peanuts, where it came in so many delicious snacks and foods; he loved cat to death, he probably would have a dozen if it wasn't for his busy life, but he was kinda allergic to them. It was comedy.

Plus, this stupid reckless boy, who was brave enough to punch someone in the face for messing up with his sister or friend, constantly had a wound on his lips; not because of chapped lips and sun combo, nor because of the fighting he had once in a while. This boy just felt like, eh, it's a good day to bite my lips until there was blood on it, and he needed to put an ointment, stay calm for a while and, oh hello another good day; a fridging vicious and addictive cycle.

Though—at first—you didn't understand in the littlest bit of why it became a "cycle".

"It's a reflex," he said. "I don't know, I just bite it when I find something cringe or funnily dangerous."

Except, anything his peer group said or did was cringe or funnily dangerous; from talking with a lovey-dovey tone in public like a romance classic novel to coloring someone's eyebrows with red chili paste—his mates was, suffice to say, insane.

The first time his lips got sore after you dated him, he sent you a chat with a crying emoji and an "aw" , followed by a picture of a drop of blood—as a proof because he was like some kind of an indestructible god until now. It was alarming. You saw blood, meaning pain, and you hurriedly jumped out of your bed, going to a store, and knocking on his door.

The sight in front of you was not what you foresaw.

Well, there was someone who was tired and in—a bit of—pain, and the other was the happy healthy one, but he was the fine one. Standing while hugging his orange cat Leo, with a small scar, yet super red; a little lost.

"Oh, hi!" He welcomed you and ushered you to sit on the couch. "I didn't know you'd come."

"Well, I brought you a compress for the scar," you said, "you sent me a pic and I thought it was painful?"

"Yeah, for five seconds, it's fine by now."

That was one of the oddest and funniest excuses you heard in a whole year, and just like that, your effort went to waste—in your defense though, that was also the first time he sent you a crying emoji.

You sighed out loud, meanwhile, in a flash, he gave you a kiss and a hug and the damn cat was trying to keep it civil with you.

"Thank you for the ointment, by the way. I'll keep it for the next one."

"The next?"

"I get this once in a while."

Glad you bought two because once in a while meant 24/7/365.

Dear God, sometimes you wondered, why were you worried for a man that should barely survive the world, but was actually thriving in life? Seriously, if someone hated him, they could just lock him in a greenhouse or sneak up peanut on his meal, and get done—well, he was an awesome person, so perhaps no one disliked him that much, but—you believed some super force magic must be circling around Hansol.

You should just stay put and enjoy the day—like him.

It wasn't easy.

It took time for you to not get panicked every time his lips bled. For the first fifth time, you bought him a new ointment and compressor; by the eleventh, you tried to breathe and mumbled it's fine, it's just a scratch. It was annoying for you too though, worrying for a grown-up man who made biting lips his habit. But after the twentieth, you had let it go. For someone as pretty and as magnificent as him, this one addiction simply served as a reminder that no one is perfect except God.

Well, another downside, you could go with no kissing for days, sometimes a full week if his scar kept reopening.

Not that it mattered that much though.

You can still kiss him on his eyes and nose and cheeks, and he would press his lips in return, on your knuckles and arms and stomach—though not as strong as you. And his love surging through his hands on your arms, whisper in your ear, and everything in him that was all around you.

Anyway, the third time it happened, you slept in his apartment. It was half-healed at the time you arrived and instantly got better.

His olive-colored sofa was soft and fluffy and comfortable, you probably had been there for almost three hours, devouring the melancholic novel in front of you, with five minutes breaks two or three times to get another drink or go to the bathroom. The sun was barely seen on the west when he snuggled up on you, made you—forcefully—put down your book and wrapped your hands around him instead.

"What?"

"Nothing." He buried his head deeper on your chest, voice muffled. "I just miss you."

"I've been sleeping in this apartment for two days," you ruffled his dark brown hair, "what kind of missing?"

He sat up and let out a witty smile, then he brushed your lips with his. "Missing to kiss you."

You laughed at the rare sight of him being so soft and spoiled. Your fingers voyaged to his jaws, thumbs softly brushing the corner of his lips. The rashes weren't as bad as the first time, it had become flat and the color faded into soft pink.

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"Yep." And he leaned closer to give you another light peck.

"You said it hurts?"

Then another kiss, not quite a peck right now "It does, very faintly."

You pulled yourself and gave a look what are you doing. "Hansol ..."

"Oh, come on. The bit of pain dawns on me after I kiss you, I can't feel it when your lips are on mine. So maybe,"—two kisses, short and sweet—"maybe we can kiss all night long so I don't taste the pain."

And he was gone for the long endless kiss before you could deny any of it. Left hands wrapped your neck, fingers crawling on your back, chest going against each other. You wanted to let go yet wanted his desire too, and in the end, you succumbed.

Well, maybe the aftermath of his habit wasn't that bad.

note: this was supposed to be a short writing under 500 words after my friends talked about Hansol’s constant wounded lips, I thought it was from his allergy, but people said it’s his habit of biting lips lmao. So, I just kept typing and typing describing him and a bit of seventeen dynamic (ofc edited a bit), and end up with 1.3K rambling and a little romance

[asstronauts]

quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

rating: t word count: 2.4k pairing: the homoeroticism of 200 amplified, aka jemily summary: a post-200 rewrite, in which jj spends some time in emily's arms and in the hospital instead of in a bar right after being tortured.

read on ao3, if you'd prefer

tw mention of jj's canon abduction and torture

---

A hundred feet.

Strangely enough, it wasn't the closest she'd come to death in this line of work, but now it was all that separated her dangling feet from the ground below.

She felt nothing besides Emily's arms and her heart thudding in her chest. JJ risked a glance downwards, turning her head ever so slightly to look.

Michael Hastings' body fallen. Dead.

It was over.

"You're here. It's you," JJ managed between ragged breaths as she was pulled back from the edge of the rooftop and onto solid ground. Her hands were still clinging desperately to Emily's biceps, her only lifeline while the world spun around.

“Emily,” JJ murmured, though it came out sounding more like a question. She needed to be sure. After hours of torture at the hands of Tivon Askari, and after the intense pursuit of Michael Hastings onto the rooftop, her friend’s comforting presence seemed almost unbelievable.

Emily inhaled sharply and reached out to move JJ's hair back. The blonde flinched instinctively, then slowly relaxed into Emily's touch. It was nothing like Askari's rough hands. It was tender — a soft brush across her cheekbone to wipe away a tear she hadn't even realized was there. The gentle caress grounded her, letting her know she was here and that somehow, against all odds, she was still alive, safely kneeling with Emily on this concrete rooftop a hundred feet high.

JJ could hardly bring herself to look around. She didn’t recognize the building he’d taken her to. It was in D.C, that much she could be sure of, but the air felt different now that she was free from Askari’s grasp. Fresher somehow. Below her, the city lights blinked on, unaware of the terrifying ordeal that had just happened. And in front of her, Emily.

Emily's hand was warm. Or perhaps JJ was just freezing. There was a chill in her bones that had remained since she'd seen Askari's face, a cold she couldn’t quite escape.

"You're here," JJ repeated, her voice steadier but still quiet. She shivered against the concrete, her shallow breaths visible in the cold night air.

"So are you." Their eyes met, and JJ found Emily's filled with concern, with relief, with love. They carefully searched JJ's face to make sure she was okay.

Emily's gaze landed on the blonde's unbuttoned shirt, and she furrowed her brow, the hard lines in her face deliberating a question she didn't want to ask.

JJ shook her head and drew back slightly. He didn't, she wanted to say.

He didn't, but she could still feel his hands on her, all over her. He didn't, but she could still hear his voice saying, "Maybe I can make you one. Another one." He didn't, but...

"It's okay," Emily murmured in a soothing voice. She noted the look on JJ’s face, but didn’t press further. “You’re okay now. You’re safe.” Her heart broke at the way the woman clenched her jaw and avoided Emily’s fixed stare.

JJ gave a stiff nod of permission as Emily reached out, gently beginning to button the shirt back up. JJ licked her lips and forced her fingers to relax their grip as she tried to speak again — to say something, anything.

"Cruz...is he-"

"He'll be fine."

"And everyone else?"

"Everyone's okay." Emily looked up as she finished with the shirt. “They’re waiting downstairs with the ambulances whenever you’re ready.”

“How did you find me?”

“We...we looked into everything from when you were in Afghanistan. Your backstop.” Emily tried to meet JJ’s eyes, but they were staring guiltily at the ground. “No more secrets please, JJ.”

“No more secrets,” she echoed back. “Only the truth from now on.”

JJ opened her mouth as if to say more, then shook her head and furrowed her brow.

Emily knew there were questions she was avoiding, trying to ask about the team to dismiss any concerns over her own wellbeing. Denial was ingrained in her nature — a habit she had perfected so well, she sometimes managed to fool herself.

The younger agent stood unsteadily and pretended to inspect her top as she took a moment to collect herself. "We should head down then," she mumbled, crossing her arms as another shiver ran up her body.

"You're allowed to take a moment, JJ," Emily said softly and rose to stand in front of her. "Take your time."

JJ bit her lip and shook her head ever so slightly. If she took even a breath to process all that had happened in the last 24 hours, the inevitable breakdown would come rushing over her, and she feared she'd never be able to stop.

"You're okay now," Emily said again, reaching her arms out and allowing JJ to collapse into them. The blonde buried her face in the crook of Emily's neck as gentle but strong arms wrapped around her body.

From the moment Hotch had called her about the news of JJ's disappearance, Emily's heart had been gripped by an intense fear over the other woman's safety. The thought of JJ in danger, of JJ hurt, of JJ on the brink of death had been too overwhelming to bear.

The panic had fueled her to find everything she could on Tivon Askari, to do everything she could to fight for JJ’s life. But the anxiety that had built up during Emily's flight over was only just now beginning to subside, as she reassured herself of JJ's safety.

"You're okay, you're okay," Emily whispered as she rubbed comforting circles on JJ's back.

She's okay.

---

45...46...47...48...

Emily concentrated hard on counting the hospital floor tiles, whatever she could to keep from thinking of her friend having just been tortured. She’d read the files on Askari, and she knew exactly what JJ had gone through. The drugs, the physical abuse, the waterboarding, the electrocution. It made her burn with uncharacteristic anger, made her wish this man had received a fate worse than death for hurting JJ. And from the look she’d seen on JJ’s face, there was far more to the story than just what Emily had read.

The situation had left the rest of the team a headache-inducing amount of paperwork, but Hotch had insisted that someone be present when JJ woke up. All eyes had landed on Emily, with Penelope demanding she be called immediately after, no matter the time of night.

It was late now, but Emily still felt restless. She picked furiously at her nails, counting and recounting the tiles over and over again until a voice broke her thoughts.

"Emily? She wants to see you."

Emily looked up and mouthed a silent thank you to the doctor, not quite trusting herself to speak aloud.

A wave of relief washed over her as she walked into the hospital room, and blue eyes turned to meet her.

"You're here."

Emily managed a sort of strangled sound in reply, a noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh.

"I'm still here," she breathed, reaching out her hand to grasp JJ's. It was icy cold, but just warm enough to reassure Emily that JJ was alive.

"I wasn't sure...I've been seeing things," JJ mumbled. "I saw you, or I thought I did. Before I saw you, I mean."

JJ shook her head, trying to clear the cloud from her incoherent thoughts as Emily creased her eyebrows in confusion.

She exhaled and tried again. "It doesn't matter. But you...you really came all the way here for me."

"You'd do the same for me," Emily replied. "Hell, you already did the same for me."

Their eyes met.

Paris.

Emily remembered everything — the long nights that never seemed to end, the two of them exploring every street and shop, the night JJ had grabbed her hand and pulled her into an alleyway, and they'd stood unbelievably close, eyes shining in the moonlight with exhilaration...

She wondered if JJ remembered everything too.

"How long do you have here?" JJ asked.

Emily bit her lip. "A few hours." Not long enough.

"Do you have to go?" came JJ’s quiet voice. Emily had asked the same question that night in Paris.

They’d let the question hang unanswered then too, both too afraid to admit that they were running, not just leaving. Because staying would mean confronting the intensity of their feelings for one another, and that was somehow more terrifying than anything they’d ever faced in the field.

Besides, Emily's expression said more than her words could.

“How are you feeling?” Emily asked instead of answering.

“It hurts,” JJ said simply.

Emily’s grip around her hand tightened protectively. "I know," she whispered.

JJ began to trace delicate circles along Emily's knuckles with her thumb, eyes slightly unfocused. She could feel her mind already struggling, tendrils of flashbacks lurking beneath the surface. The pain in her side seemed to intensify, and her breath caught slightly.

"Hastings and Askari are dead." Her voice came out raw and louder than intended, as though she was still convincing herself of the fact.

JJ took a shuddering breath and shivered as a chill went up her spine.

Cold. Why was the room so cold?

She felt, rather than saw, everything around her shift as a sudden sense of dread overwhelmed her in the haze. Dark. Cold. Alone.

Alone, except for him. The shadow of Tivon Askari loomed in front of her, and a bolt of pain and panic wracked her body.

“Come back to me, JJ.”

She blinked.

“I wasn’t..I-It wasn’t a full flashback or anything,” JJ stuttered. “I’m fine.”

“It’s okay, just breathe.”

JJ sat for a moment until the pounding in her chest subsided, painfully aware of the heart monitor’s rapid beeping. She focused her attention on Emily’s hand in hers.

“I’m fine,” JJ repeated quietly.

"I know it doesn't feel like it yet," Emily replied. "It takes time, but I promise one day, you’ll be okay. You’ll feel safe again."

Emily moved her free hand to touch JJ’s shoulder, capturing her full attention so that the blonde could read the sincerity in her eyes.

“What do I do till then?”

"You could get a tattoo. We could match," Emily said lightly.

"Blackbird," JJ mused with a tired smile.

She remembered the day that Emily had shown her the tattoo, how she had stared in amazement at the beautiful ink that somehow both covered and showed off Emily's scars from her encounter with Doyle. Even then, she had been slightly wary, but Emily had taken her hand and guided her fingers to graze the tattoo, showing her that scars weren’t something to be afraid of.

The bruises and lacerations would fade. The electrical burns would leave a mark. JJ could feel their sting now, marring her skin with ugly scars. Perhaps she could get a tattoo to cover them up, but there was only so much she could hide. Beneath it all, there’d still be a heavy burden, an invisible wound she’d have to carry day to day, case to case, for the rest of her life.

They sat, hand in hand again now, letting the presence of each other be enough. JJ's thumb was still tracing its way across the familiar landscape of Emily's hand, one that the blonde had long since memorized. In those moments, with Emily holding her hand, it felt like everything was okay. Yet there was a feeling of horrid anticipation, like the teetering at the top of a rollercoaster, where the burning in her stomach told her that the moment Emily let go and left for London, time would inevitably start again, and everything would fall quickly and suddenly, collapsing into a wild frenzy despite Emily’s words of comfort.

“I don’t want you to go. I need you here,” JJ murmured.

She wasn’t sure if it was the exhaustion or the medication talking, but she hadn’t quite realized the truth behind the statement until she’d said it aloud. JJ tried it again, her voice barely a whisper. “I need you.”

The admission hung in the air unanswered for a moment, and JJ’s mind raced, wondering if she’d made a mistake.

Emily didn’t speak, staring hard at the hospital blankets as if they would tell her the meaning behind what JJ had said. Part of her wanted to scream with joy at the idea that JJ wanted her near. But the other part of her shrunk back in fear, wanting to flee across an entire ocean once again to run from her emotions. She was terrified of what she felt towards JJ — an affection more intense and overwhelming than anything she’d ever experienced before. Without it, she’d be lost. She couldn’t risk that; it was too fragile to be tampered with, too precious to even be acknowledged.

“I saw you,” JJ began rambling, unable to bear the silence. “When they were trying to get my codes, I thought I saw you. I guess my mind just needed something or someone to hold on to. You should’ve been a million miles away, but some part of me knew that you’d come. That I’d be okay because you were coming.”

“JJ-“

“I knew it’d be you. It’s always going to be you.”

“I can’t...” Emily began, but the fear choked her and kept her from finishing her sentence.

“I know you have to go.” JJ’s grip tightened as her voice broke. “Will you stay until I fall asleep? Say goodbye now so I don’t have to watch you leave.”

A lump rose in Emily’s throat. Tell me to stay again. Tell me to stay for you, and I’ll leave it all, she wanted to say. But her cowardice won in the end.

Instead, Emily nodded and sat next to the bed as JJ closed her eyes.

---

JJ awoke to an empty hospital room. The pain in her side flared, and tears sprung to her eyes as everything she had experienced hit her full force.

The fluorescent lights blinked back at her from above, and the only noises she could hear were the gentle beeping of a heart monitor and her own shallow breathing.

One hand lay across her torso, the other gripped the hospital bed sheets as though she’d been holding onto something, to someone. She could've sworn...

She’s not here.

No, Emily was in London, thousands of miles away. There was no way, right?

She wouldn’t have come and then left her, not again. JJ pulled her hand in and held it to her chest, as she bit back a cry.

It must have been another hallucination. It had to be.

Any other way would hurt too much.

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ Q-FORCE / 1.3  always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

'i was so excited last night i only got nine hours of sleep.’

‘these two trunks are just shoes.’

‘do you think we’ll be tap dancing and line dancing.’

‘can we drive past area 51? there’s an alien there i really owe an apology to.’

‘ah, shut up. it’s so early.’

‘the fuck is that?’

‘okay, so it’s not pretty, but it’s a jet and it’s ours.’

‘former home of the world’s biggest ball of yarn, current home to crime.’

‘call me miss congeniality, honey, ‘cause i’m a femme top with a gun.’

‘i could top a mission like this in my sleep.’

‘you’ll handle what i tell you to handle.’

‘he’s only been in our squad for three days and already his pubic hairs are all over the microwave.’

‘i’m the man for this job and everyone knows it.’

‘i never cry. i just have a heart attack every two years.’

‘creamers don’t expire, right?’

‘that’s tree cum. it’s tree cum you’re smelling.’

‘you’re kidding, right? that’s the stupidest plan i’ve ever heard.’

‘let’s go undercover as a news team.’

‘it’s in my top five favourite movies about hexavalent chromium.’

‘have you ever tried putting on a play? the little ones are the hardest.’

‘maybe if you stop kicking the horse in its kidneys, it’ll be able to concentrate on walking.’

‘what is this, horse class?’

‘i got an A+ in horse class, seem to recall you rupturing your taint at the dressage final.’

‘i’m doing an investigation as is typical for reporters like me.’

‘the street signs keep getting blurrier.’

‘the pharmacy changed my medicine. it’s salty now.’

‘in-n-out’s a fucking joke.’

‘that’s also probably obama’s fault. yeah.’

‘i have france’s nuclear codes tattooed on my neck.’

‘okay, now i know you’re crazy. ___ ain’t right about shit.’

‘hard to be in a city with this much green chilli without you, but it’s going okay.’

‘he doesn’t have faith in my or my team at all. i’m all in my head.’

‘this motherfucker’s a real doubtin’ dorothy.’

‘i said to myself, “that’s the most competent woman you’ll ever meet”.’

‘keep working hard. he’ll see your value just like i did.’

‘two men’s names, and we’re both big-time straight.’

‘whole town lost their jobs. damn shame.’

‘well, that’s clearly the bad guy.’

‘just because he’s the only person here doesn’t mean he’s the bad guy.’

‘i wouldn’t shoot him. i would pump him for info.’

‘well, sorry, honey. murder’s on the menu and daddy’s hungry.’

‘i call in to radio giveaways full time and collect piles of newspaper.’

‘my guy says if i was a laid-off miner living in a town like this with nothing else to do, i’d be at the bowling alley 24-motherfucking-7.’

‘thank you, lesbian spidey-sense.’

‘keep quiet. i don’t want him to hear the musical theater in your voice.’

‘i don’t need much, just a hole to mine, a brew to drink, and a game to watch.’

‘okay, here’s the new plan. i’ll have to seduce him.’

‘no, moron. i should seduce him. i have gay sex with gay men often.’

‘been  in the field for ten years and i’ve never made the smart move.’

‘that is verbatim what i was thinking.’

‘you sure ask one long question.’

‘jeez. i feel so hot in all these clothes. i just want to cool off.’

‘hey! come on in! the water’s... thick?’

‘step one, burn the body. i’ll activate vengeance protocol.’

‘he was trying to make a gay man horny and dove into a radioactive reservoir.’

‘you can’t pander to the gays. they can smell it.’

‘well, the world finally makes sense. i’m in charge and you’re in a cage.’

‘the fate of the world is in strong and supple hands.’

‘let me offer you some sex advice. what you’re gonna wanna do is...’

‘i don’t want advice from you. your methods almost got you killed.’

‘good luck not dying. i got it from here!’

‘sorry about your friend. but i’m also glad. he talks too much.’

‘you ever wonder how deep the shaft goes?’

‘sex and work don’t mix.’

‘ain’t you a lawyer? i hate lawyers?’

‘we heard about your, uh... bowling army.’

‘we’re looking for a little something we call revenge.’

‘she showed us everything except for the yurt.’

‘small town, small gene pool. it’s bound to happen.’

‘we have him in our sights. are we authorised to take the shot?’

‘oops. hold on, death squad nine.’

‘i have to seduce an enemy agent, but my signature blend of affected confidence and body of a god isn’t sealing the deal.’

‘he’s a great spy and even better at spy sex. i should know.’

‘wait, spy sex was a class? why did i take, like, french?’

‘absolutely hate her. her whole vibe makes me sick.’

‘well, look who came crawling back.’

‘jesus, can you cover your penis, please?’

‘i’ve never seen anyone half-circumcised before.’

‘i can’t fail again. give me your dumbass advice now.’

‘you can’t plan these things. you need to be in the moment, finding your sex opportunity, and then fuck it til dunzo.’

‘wait, why would i need spaghetti?’

‘oh. so earlier when you said you wanted to blow it all up and start over, you weren’t being metaphorical.’

‘you were first in your class, now be first in his ass.’

‘this homo’s a romantic.’

‘there might be one head of livestock that needs to get let out of its pen.’

‘which... oh, the livestock in your pants. you mean your dick. copy that.’

‘i’m super good at sex even when it’s for work.’

‘it’s not like he’d save us.’

‘okay, let’s show everyone the other thing my big, strong ass is for.’

‘i’m sorry i lied to you. but the time we shared was beautiful.’

‘this near-death experience put some things into focus for me.’

‘it wasn’t clean, but you got the job done.’

‘oh my god, i’d love to, but wouldn’t i get in trouble?’

‘i haven’t been away from ____ for more than nine hours since we met.’

[nurse-buckley]

I’m Coming - Part 1

Fandom: 9-1-1  Word Count: 2,453 Characters: Christopher Diaz, Eddie Diaz and Evan Buckley.  Warnings: mentions of the flu, brief descriptions of flu like symptoms and brief mentions of medicine and hospitals.  Summary: When Chris needs help, he knows he can always count on one person.  Tagslist: @firemedicdiaz​ @fireladybuckley @pupandangelscoffee @winterreader-nowwriter @dayrin085

It was no secret that Eddie was run down. On top of the extra shifts at the firehouse, he’d been running Christopher to school and physiotherapy appointments. They had all taken their toll on the firefighter. One morning, on one of Eddie’s last days off, Chris had come down with the flu that had been going around. He’d been lucky to have a few days off with his son, but now he was due to work his next shift and he’d had to reluctantly make the decision to drop him off with Carla. Eddie didn’t want to, and when he’d left the nurses house to drop his son off, he wanted to cry just as much as Chris had. He pushed it aside however, they needed the money and there was only one 24 hour shift left before he’d have two more days off with his son. 

As the shift progressed Eddie couldn’t deny the tiredness he felt. The shift dragged and each call felt a little harder than the last. By the time he was driving to Carla’s to pick Chris up, he knew he’d caught what his son had come down with. He only hoped he hadn’t passed it to anyone at the firehouse or any of the patients he’d come into contact with. With a thank you to Carla, Eddie picked up his son, carrying his tired form, still wrapped in the blanket he’d been dropped off with and got into his car. 

“You feeling okay bud?” Eddie asked. 

Chris nodded, a small smile on his face because he was back with his dad. The young boy looked terrible, his face pale with dark circles under his eyes. Eddie would think he was worse than when he’d left him 24 hours ago, but Carla had assured him that his temperature had come down and that the grape flavoured Tylenol he’d left with was working it’s magic. 

When the pair arrived home, Eddie noticed Chris had dozed off. He moved to the back seat, careful not to wake him up. He knew he’d failed as he was met with the sleepy grin of his kid. He gathered Chris and the blanket up in his arms, before walking towards their apartment. By the time Eddie had Chris settled on the sofa, he was exhausted. He pushed the feelings aside however, to warm up the ‘flu fighter chicken noodle soup’ his abuela had dropped off for him. 

10 minutes later Eddie had two bowls of soup with a side of saltine crackers, carrying them to the sofa to settle down with his son to watch cartoons. “We’re gonna eat this, give you some more medicine and then get you to bed, mijo.” 

“The grape flavour?” 

“Yeah bud, I got the grape flavour from Carla.” 

It wasn’t long before the pair were done with their soup. Chris had begun coughing again and hadn’t had much of an appetite for the last few days anyway and Eddie had had his fill of soup and crackers as well. 

Eddie decided to let Chris rest a while longer, having fallen asleep tucked in his blankets next to him. Truth be told he was too tired himself, his body aching. After another half an hour, he felt his eyes drooping and he knew he couldn’t push himself to stay awake any longer otherwise the two would be spending the night on the sofa. 

He picked up his son, hushing him softly as he stirred in his arms. He carried the younger boy into his room, and placed him down gently on the bed. A soft laugh came from Eddie as Chris clung to him, not wanting to let go. He placed a kiss on the younger boy's head before pulling away, “sleep, hopefully you’ll feel a bit better in the morning.” 

After his son was tucked in Eddie turned on Chris’ nightlight and closed the door slightly before heading to his own room. He’d clean the plates away in the morning. The firefighter didn’t even bother changing into his pyjamas, choosing to strip down to his boxers and t-shirt before he climbed into bed himself.  

The next day Eddie awoke, his head was pounding. He’d slept in having forgotten to set his alarm. He would have slept for longer had it not been for Chris coming into his room, waking him with a gentle hand on his head. 

With a sigh Eddie had dragged himself out of bed and headed to the kitchen, preparing a bowl of cereal for Chris and a cup of coffee for himself. He needed the caffeine and the way his stomach was churning, he didn’t think he could bring himself to eat anything. 

The duo decided to have a lazy day, watching movies. By the time evening came, with the aid of more Tylenol and his abuela’s soup, Chris was feeling and looking better than he had in the last few days. 

The same, however, could not be said for Eddie. By the time he had put Chris to bed Eddie was feeling rough, thankfully the young boy had settled after one story. He felt sweaty, his throat hurting as well as his head and the cough that had started earlier that day had only gotten worse. He made a note to himself to get some Tylenol for himself the next time he made a run to the store. He rarely had it stocked, he didn’t have time to be sick between work and looking after Christopher. Right now he regretted that decision. 

Chris woke in the middle of the night, he hadn’t even remembered falling asleep. He assumed his dad must have carried him to bed and tucked him in. His throat was sore and he needed a drink, he’d usually call for his dad but with his throat so sore and his voice hoarse, he decided to climb out of bed, being sure to grab his glasses on the way. Thankful for his nightlight and the hallway light his father usually left on he made his way into his dad’s bedroom. Walking in, he noticed that his dad wasn’t in his bed, the bed unmade having not been slept in at all. 

“Dad?” he called out. 

With no response, Chris was about to make his way out to the hallway when he saw his dad on the other side of his bed, sprawled on the floor, unconscious. 

The young boy moved to his dad's side, calling his name as he moved. He fell by his dad's slumped body, shaking him gently as repeated his calls. “Dad? Daddy, wake up!” 

With no response, Chris began to worry, and then he remembered what his dad had told him. He fumbled around, feeling Eddie’s pockets until he found Eddie’s mobile. He pulled it out, having the passcode memorised, unlocked it and called the first number he could think of. 

Buck was asleep when his phone started playing his familiar ringtone. At first he thought it was his alarm, fumbling around in the dark to turn off the offending noise. After a second longer, he realised he hadn’t set his alarm, it was his day off. He turned his bedside lamp on, looking at the caller ID on his phone. Eddie. Why was Eddie calling him at 2 in the morning? 

“Hello?” 

“Buck?” A sob came through the phone. 

Any tiredness Buck was feeling was immediately replaced by worry at the sound of the panicked cry of his name on the other side of the line. 

“Chris?” 

“Buck!” 

Buck could hear the fear in the younger boy's voice, he could hear his breathing getting quicker and the sobs beginning to emanate from him. 

Buck sat upright on the side of his bed, his full attention on Christopher. “Alright, I need you to take a deep breath for me buddy, can you do that?” 

After he had guided the younger boy through a few deep breaths, Buck was able to get to figuring out what was going on. 

“Chris, what’s wrong? Where’s your dad, huh?” 

He heard Chris sob again but with more calming reassurances from Buck, he was able to calm himself enough to continue. “It’s dad. He’s laying down and won’t wake up.” 

Buck swore he felt his heart stop and his blood ran cold with fear. He bolted up right from his bed, stumbling to put on the sweatpants and hoodie that were on his floor from the previous evening. “Alright buddy, I’m gonna need you to be strong for me, okay?” 

A choked “okay” came through the line. 

“I’m on my way, but I need you to tell me if he’s breathing, can you do that for me?” The firefighter ran down the stairs, he grabbed his sneakers and keys before he made his way out of his apartment. 

With another response Buck began to explain what he needed from the young boy. “Put me on speaker okay, then I’m gonna need you to lean in close to his mouth and listen if he’s breathing, look at his chest and tell me if it’s moving.” 

Chris did as he was told, with the phone on speaker, he let Buck know he was still there. He leant in close, relieved to see his dad was still breathing. “I-I think so. I’m scared Buck.” 

Buck, now in his car, his phone coming through the speaker on his phone, let out a breath he had been holding since he’d asked Chris that question. 

“I know buddy, I’m coming. Can you tell me if his breathing is fast or slow?” 

Chris leant in once more, unsure, “I think fast?” 

“You’re doing great buddy, one more question alright? I’m nearly there,” Buck reassured. “Is your dad lying on his back or on his side?” 

“He’s on his back,” Chris announced. 

“I need you to be strong okay? I need you to try and roll your dad over onto his side, okay?” 

Buck heard the grunt over the speaker as Chris attempted to roll his dad onto his side. He let out another breath when Chris announced his success.  

Buck couldn’t help the cheer that escaped his mouth, “well done Chris, you’re doing great. I’m just pulling up now. I need you to do one more thing alright? I need you to gently lift his chin a little bit, it’ll help with his breathing.” 

Chris confirmed the manoeuvre, earning himself another round of praise from his friend. 

“I’m here Chris, I’ve got keys, so just stay with your dad.” 

Buck almost dropped the keys as he fumbled them in his hands, he moved through each key until he found the one he needed to get into the apartment.  

Chris heard the lock on the door opening. “Chris?” the younger firefighter called out. Chris could hear the lights being flicked on in the apartment as Buck made his way through the apartment. 

“Buck?” 

Following the sound of Chris’ voice, Buck ran into Eddie’s bedroom where he found the pair. His heart almost stopped at the sight of his best friend so pale and lifeless. Eddie didn’t look good and if he was honest, Chris didn’t look too much better himself. Chris was at his side, holding his dad’s hand in a death grip, his small hands almost being swallowed by Eddie’s larger ones. 

Buck knelt by Eddie’s other side, turning him onto his back, tilting his head back and leaning in close to check his breathing. It was laboured and faster than his liking, but that was to be expected with the flu. With two fingers gently pressed into his neck, Buck felt for Eddie’s pulse. He could not only feel the frantic beating under his finger tips, but also the burning of his skin. 

“Alright bud, I think your dad needs a bit more help than I can give him. We’re gonna call an ambulance alright, get him checked out at the hospital.” 

Chris sniffed a tear as he tightened the grip on his dad’s hand. “Okay.” 

Buck moved Eddie into the recovery position, ensuring his airway wasn’t compromised and his vitals were remaining stable. He pulled out his phone, he dialled 911 to explain the situation at hand. He thought about sending a message to the 118 group chat, but thought against it. He didn’t want to unnecessarily worry people until he had the full picture himself. Buck also needed to keep his focus and full attention on Chris, the kid needed him. 

Buck crawled towards Chris, wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close to his side. The firefighter turned to face the younger boy to get a better look at him. “How’re you feeling bud? You still feeling sick?” Buck placed a hand on the young boys head, feeling the warm skin there. 

Chris nodded, his lips formed into a pout as he leaned into Buck’s comforting embrace. 

The ambulance arrived not long after Buck had put the call in, he left the pair only to answer the door to let the members of the 118 who were on his opposite shifts take over. He was glad to have some familiar faces helping his friend. While the paramedics worked, Buck took Chris to his room, helping him change into some comfortable clothes and shoes. Buck decided against bringing Chris’ crutches, he wrapped him in the soft blanket from his bed and hoisted him onto his hip before meeting the paramedics at the front door. 

Eddie was now secured to a stretcher, his shirt had been cut open and wires had been attached everywhere. He had an oxygen mask securely attached to his face. He kept Chris’ head tucked into his neck, not wanting the young boy to see his dad in that condition. 

“We’ll follow you in the car,” Buck announced to the paramedics who began to carry Eddie’s stretcher out of the apartment. 

“No!” Chris squirmed in his arms, but Buck held him tight. 

He moved Chris in his arms so he could look the boy in the eyes. “Chris, we need to give the paramedics room to work, alright? Your daddy’s in good hands okay, our friends will look after him until we get to the hospital.” 

The younger boy eventually relaxed into his friend's arms. He rested his head against Buck’s shoulder, exhausted from the events of the night and the flu still draining the energy from him. The pair made their way down the stairs, following behind the paramedics. Buck let Chris watch them load Eddie into the back of the ambulance, allowing the younger boy to know his dad was in safe hands. Once the ambulance drove off, Buck strapped Chris into his car before following behind the vehicle.

[bugsbucky]

Cotton Clouds

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Request: Hiii lovely! Could I kindly request a Bucky x plus!size reader - she is really shy and insecure about her body weight and is more like the chef to the avengers (cooking breakfast and dinner for them and that kind of stuff) she is also being secretly bullied by a lower rank agent and one day the bully shoves her and she falls over, hurting herself and Bucky saw everything and just!! Protective Bucky is my life. Please don't rush! There's no pressure from me 🖤 love you!!

Warnings: Angst, body shaming, insecurities, bullying, asshole agents, protective!Bucky, protective!Steve (kinda), language, broken noses, a little pussy that probably shat his pants, fluff, happy endings.

Word Count: 3,007

Authors Notes: thank you dear anon for sending in this request. I’ve combined this request for the @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ 24 hour surprise drabble and Summer Loving Challenge and I chose Rooftop bar/restaurant.

If anyone ever makes you feel this shitty, you just tell them to fuck off and mind their own business. Nobody, NOBODY has the right to degrade you for your weight or anything else for that matter. If they are bullying you, it only means there is a problem with their own reflection and it’s not actually you. You’re loved and James Buchanan Barnes loves and worships you so much. 

My taglist is actually open so if you’d like to join please feel free to send me a message/ask :)

Since becoming a part of the Avenger family as their personal cook, you’ve established strong bonds with just about everyone on the team. They accepted you for who you were and never once made a disrespectful comment or snicker about your soft belly or thick thighs. Of course, it didn’t stop you from wishing you had a figure like Nat or Wanda, but the team didn’t make you feel less of a human and despite their kindness, you often still felt out of place and insecure about your weight. The one person who made you feel extra special was Bucky Barnes. During movie nights his fingers would circle your soft waist, his hugs also lasted a lot longer than what was considered necessary. Over time, the two of you became close friends. You ended up developing a small crush on him, imagining yourself waking up in his arms every morning and reminding you just how beautiful you are.

Around them, you were shy and barely spoke a word other than a good morning greeting or an ‘enjoy your meal’ as you dished out their food you had cooked. You were preparing some bacon and toast in the kitchen when James, an agent on the lower rank pranced into the kitchen, puffing his chest out and grinning at your shock of seeing him.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asks and takes a step closer, forcing you to take one step back. Your eyes flicked over his shoulder and saw 3 other of his friends snickering near the doorway.

“S-sure.” your voice croaked, ignoring the splutter from the coffee pot.

“Do you sleep in a bed like a normal human being, or do you sleep on the beach like a whale? I’m not sure where whales your size sleep.” The laughter behind James formed a lump in your throat. 

“Morning folks! Uh James, you’re not supposed to be in here.” Steve walked in with his Captain America suit on and warned. His hands just above his belt as he took the burning bacon off the gas.

“Sorry Captain. Just had to ask Y/N for something.” James winked and smiled innocently at Steve. You never told anyone about the things James would say to you. They were far too embarrassing and you were secretly scared they felt the same way but just didn’t have the heart to say anything.

“No problem. Just don’t let it happen again.” Steve warned as James left, reaching up in the cupboard for a mug. He looks at you briefly, concern washes over his face as he saw you were batting tears away. “Hey are you okay? He didn’t do anything to you did he?” Steve wondered, folding his broad arms across his chest. 

“No no! I’m fine really. Breakfast won’t be too long.” you lied and busied yourself in the kitchen that Tony had put in especially for your needs. 

“Okay well look, if he or anyone is giving you any problems, you come to me alright? We don’t tolerate harassment here.” Steve gave your shoulder a squeeze, the words on the tip of your tongue that this has been going on for months. You want to tell Steve that but you’re hesitant and bite your tongue, just nodding and thanking the captain for caring so much. You quickly pull yourself back together and resume the task of breakfast.

Your hesitancy didn’t go amiss by Steve. He knew you wanted to say something but you were so shy he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. He didn’t want you suffering either and since the team were leaving for a one month mission, he chose to ask Bucky to stay behind to keep an eye on things. Since Bucky was sidelined from an injury to his flesh arm, he wouldn’t have gone on this mission anyway.

Once breakfast to the Avengers was served and they were happy, you quickly untied the apron from around your waist and hung it on the hook. The kitchen was cleaned and you headed back to your room for a much needed shower and break. You would normally join the team for breakfast but after the question James asked, you quickly came up with an excuse why you wouldn’t be joining them today.

Your gaze was kept to the floor as you walked and your shoulder bumped into someone else’s. Before you could apologise, an obnoxious laugh pierced your ears. 

“Watch where you’re going you glonk!” It was James and you sighed. 

“Sorry.” you muttered and steadied yourself. Pulling your baggy shirt away from your stomach.

“Wouldn’t bother doing that. Unless you can stick a bag over your head and hide your ugly mug too.” James snickered, encouraged by the roaring laughter of his friends standing behind him, throwing the occasion comment in your face too. 

“I said I was sorry!” hot tears rolled down your cheeks, leaving behind a wet streak in the process. “I’m sorry for everything!” you crumbled under the pressure. Apologising to this asshole for what exactly? For being softer than the other girls who worked in the compound? For being too shy to stand up for yourself? For not being good enough? In truth, you didn’t know why you were apologising. You were doing nothing wrong.

“Apologising won’t mean shit to me!” James taunted walking behind you and giving you a hard shove. You fall forwards, your knees hitting the hard marble floors first. Your hands stop your face from smashing against the floor. 

“HEY!” a loud voice and footsteps echo through the hallway. The friends of James all scattered and ran down the hall as Bucky stalked towards you. “What the fuck are you doing?!” you recognised Bucky’s voice, of course you did. It was your favourite voice in the compound because it belonged to your crush. Bucky was a sweetheart, always making sure you felt better about yourself. He was quiet just like you, but the confidence he would give you made you feel so much better about yourself. Of course, it didn’t work so well since James started bullying you.

You peeked up. Bucky’s nostrils were flared, his jaw clenched and his eyes insanely wide, anger swirling around behind his irises. His metal arm whirring down by his side as he clenched and unclenched his fist. He saw what this jerk had done to you and no woman should be treated like that.

James remained silent, looking like a deer in headlights. Bucky wasn’t impressed by his lack of answers and with his metal arm, shoved James against the wall and his hand wrapped around his throat squeezing his windpipe slightly. 

“You gonna talk now huh? Where have your fucking balls gone?” Bucky spat in his face, his flesh arm in a sling pressed against his chest.

“I- I am sorry!” James was gasping for air and Bucky eased off his throat just a little. 

“How long has this been going on?” Bucky wanted answers, and he wanted them now.

As their confrontation was just getting started, you pushed yourself up off the floor ignoring the aching in your knees as you stood next to Bucky. Your hand on his metal arm to try and diffuse the situation. It was no use, Bucky hated bullies and he wasn’t going to let go of this guy’s throat until he had the answers he was asking.

“HOW LONG?!?!” Bucky roared, saliva spraying James’ face. You have never seen Bucky like this, so enraged and protective. It was almost like something or someone had woken The Winter Soldier up inside of him. 

Bucky liked you a lot. He liked your soft belly,  thick thighs and rosy red cheeks. Your disheveled hair in the mornings and your cooking was absolutely amazing. To him, you were the perfect wife. Without you even knowing, Bucky would often daydream about the two of you living in the country with your children and you baking some homemade pies. The two of you were like the perfect balance in his eyes, you were soft and fluffy and a sweetheart and he was damn sure no man or woman was going to ever hurt you.

“Months.” James gasped out. This angered Bucky more as he growled in his face. 

“Bucky.” your voice was quiet as you pleaded with him, his eyes momentarily flicking down to yours with your soft eyes staring back at him that he loved so much. Bucky released his grip from his throat, but not before punching him square in the nose. The audible crack made you cringe and you brought your hands up to cover your mouth as blood dripped from the obvious broken nose.

“Let me tell you something you little shit. If you EVER approach Y/N again, if you EVER breathe in her direction or lay one dirty finger on her again and I promise you, not only will I break every finger on your hand and your legs but I’ll make sure you’re kicked off the team. Do you understand me you fucking asshole? You touch or speak to her ONE MORE TIME and don’t you dare test my patience.”

“Y-es Sergeant Barnes.” James was full on crying, either from the pain of his nose or the threats Bucky was spewing in his face or the combination of the two, you weren’t sure but as soon as Bucky stepped back and pulled your body close to his, James took off staggering up the hall, occasionally glancing back to make sure the winter soldier wasn’t following him, leaving droplets of blood as a trail.

“Are you alright sweetheart?” Bucky’s softer voice took you by surprise. His metal appendages stroked your warm cheeks and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

You shook her head and Bucky’s eyes narrowed. Your knees were badly bruised and he clicked his tongue. His arm wrapped around your shoulder and he walked you back to your room in silence. The anger was still radiating off him, just his very heavy breathing filling the silence. His disbelief that any human could hurt you the way James did. If you were not there, he most likely would have ripped him a new asshole. But since you weren’t a fighter, he didn’t want you scared or panicked.

When you eventually got back to your room, Bucky marveled at how beautiful, neat and tidy the space was. Books scattered over a couple of shelves and your computer neatly placed in the middle of a white desk with your pink and white office chair. You reminded him of a fluffy pink cloud with some chunks of marshmallows. 

He loved the aesthetic comfort it provided.

“Wow this is so beautiful.” He complimented as you sat on the end of your bed. You smiled back sheepishly, feeling the warmth of the blush creep back up your neck and cheeks. 

“Thank you.” you sighed. Bucky’s eyes were soft and so blue. You could stare into them for hours.

“You’re welcome doll. He won’t bother you again and if he does, you tell me immediately. I won’t be so kind next time.” 

“I know. I’m just… ashamed.” you dipped your head and fiddled with the hem of your shirt.

“Doll, let me tell you something.” Bucky sighed as he took a seat next to you, throwing his arm back over your shoulder. Nuzzling your face into the warmth of his chest, breathing in his fresh sandalwood scent. “As a man who grew up in the really old days and a man who was given the best eyesight. I can honestly say, with my hand on my heart that you are really gorgeous, beautiful and so special. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, the fault is with him, not you. Maybe he’s jealous because he doesn’t have killer thighs or something.” you chuckled into his chest, his heart pounding against your ear. 

“You think I’m special?” your question was muffled but he heard you clearly. Your eyes glancing down at his thick thighs.

“Of course I do. You’re the first person I look for when I enter a room doll.” 

“Thank you Bucky. You’re just amazing in every way.” You pulled away with a triumph toothy grin on your face and pink tinted cheeks. 

“Don’t have to keep thankin’ me doll. Though if you really wanna say thanks, accept my invitation and come to dinner with me tonight.” he cocked an eyebrow and your anxiety washed through you. 

“Wh-where?”

“There’s this rooftop restaurant Sam recommended and I really want to go but I don’t want to go alone.” he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the hairs on the back of his neck. “Please?” and out came the puppy eyes. You chuckled and nodded your head.

“Sure. Of course.” Bucky grinned and leaned in and pressed a kiss to your rounded cheek. 

“Thanks doll. I’ll pick you up at 7pm.”

A few hours later

A loud knock - metal on wood sounded at your door and you sighed, checking out your attire for this evening. After hours of wondering what to wear and taking Nat’s advice and smoothed the dress over with your hands, giving one final look in the long mirror. You slipped into your expensive heels and opened the door. You gasped, Bucky was wearing a dark navy sweater with a collar, one arm missing as he kept it under the sweater and dark clad jeans matched with his combat boots. You saw the silver chain shining around his neck and you assumed he was wearing the dog tags he recently retrieved, his hair slicked back into a low bun in the nape of his neck, a day old stubble peppered his chin and cheeks and you were tempted to run your fingertips over the prickly hairs. While you were busy ogling his attire, he was also checking you out. Your choice of dress was gorgeous and it hugged your curves just perfectly, revealing just the right amount of cleavage that Bucky knew he would have a hard time keeping his eyes off during dinner. Your makeup was nothing too crazy, opting for a natural look. 

“Wow doll, you look amazing.” Bucky gulped and shifted on the balls of his feet. 

“You absolutely do too, Buck.” you exchanged a smile and walked down the hall with him, occasionally stealing glances at one another. When the two of you stepped out of the elevator into the lobby, he offered his arm and you gladly took it. 

The restaurant Bucky took you to was absolutely perfect. A single candle in the middle of the 2 seater table with a rose in a vase. Champagne in a bucket of ice. 

“People are staring.” you stated as Bucky pulled your chair out for you. He leaned down and kissed your cheek lovingly, causing an eruption of tingles in the pit of your belly.

“Let ‘em stare. Probably just jealous because I’m with the most sexiest woman here.” he spoke nonchalantly. You giggled and hid behind your hands. The city lights illuminated both of your features as you sat and talked about everything and anything that came to mind.

Bucky told you about the new music he was listening to and how he didn’t like it. You laughed and agreed and told him to listen to some 80s with a promise you’ll personally create him a playlist. Bucky told jokes and you laughed heartily. Exchanging flirty glances and smiles every now and then. The one thing that really set your soul on fire was when you caught him glancing at your chest and licking his lips. You were grateful to Nat for the suggestion of a push up bra to push your boobs together and made a mental note to thank her later. 

“I have something for you.” Bucky said, putting down his glass of champagne and reaching into his front pocket of his jeans. He pulled out a small black velvet box and put it down in front of you. He laughed at the look on your face. “Don’t worry, it’s not an engagement ring.” he clarified and you blew some air out. Picking up the little black box, you gasped when you flicked the lid open. Wedged between the slit was an expensive looking silver ring with diamonds. 

“Bucky! Oh my god! What is this?” Was he sure it wasn’t an engagement ring? The two of you weren’t even dating, surely he wouldn’t.

“It’s a promise ring. I was going to give it to you on the weekend when I was hoping you’d go to dinner with me when we were alone in the compound but things changed.” his chuckle turned into a smile and you mirrored it.

“It’s absolutely gorgeous!” removing the ring from the box, you slip it onto your finger and it fits like a glove. How he guessed your size was anyone’s guess. 

“Doll. I promise you that I will be here to protect you. Nobody will ever dare speak a bad word to you again. But I also promise to take care of you and make you smile and laugh every single day. I care about you so much and I mean everything I’m saying. If you’ll have me of course.” 

Tears pooled in the corners of your eyes as his words sank in. He really did mean them. 

“My weight. It really doesn’t bother you?” you bit your lip with your eyebrows raised. 

“No it absolutely doesn’t. And if you’d let me, I’d really like to spend a long time proving it to you that I love you and your body the way it is. I’ve waited a really long time for you doll. So, will you be mine?” 

“Always.” Bucky reached over and grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. 

“My doll.”

“My Bucky.” 

“Forever your Bucky, doll. Let’s order dessert then we can go home and have some real dessert.” he winked and you chuckled, dipping your head and blushing for the hundredth time today. 

Taglist: @jobean12-blog​ @marvelgirl7​ @godofplumsandthunder​ @hawksmagnolia​ @crushedbyhyperbole​ @deanthedemon​ @sarge-barnes-sir​ @emilylyoness​ @jamesbarnesappreciationclub​ @littleredstarfish​ @kitkatd7

[komfortkiri]

HELP WANTED (PART 1)

WOLF QUIRK F!READER x HANTA SERO x EIJIRO KIRISHIMA WORD COUNT: 1,724 TW/CW: BULLYING MENTION, PARENTAL ABANDONMENT, PANIC ATTACK MENTION (ONCE)

NOTES: I’ll make a banner for this series whenever I get my shit together on Photoshop, lol. I’ve been on a Sero/Kiri thing lately plus this was brewing in my head so I wanted to hurry and type it all down before I forgot it.

“ HELP WANTED! 3RD AND FINAL ROOMMATE FOR A 3 BEDROOM, 2 BATH HOUSE. — MUST BE RESPONSIBLE AND RELIABLE. TEXT THE NUMBER FOR ANY QUESTIONS. NAME IS KIRI. ”

You had been staring at this ad for a couple of days now. Surely they must have found someone by now, right? You were new around the area and being on your own, wasn’t quite what you had imagined. Your parents? Well, your mom up and decided to leave you behind after bringing you home from the hospital and your dad.. He’s always been there but you wanted to prove you could finally be on your own. You were 24 for God’s sake, of course you could do it, but sometimes— you found yourself wondering if you bit off more than you could chew. Living in this big city full of crazy quirks of all kind, including yours, it was pretty overwhelming.

Oh, your quirk? Well, you were part wolf and people could tell that from looking at you, due to your pointed black ears that rested on either side of the top of your head plus a tail that was pretty fluffy and was also black in color.. Can’t forget the fangs that you have, too. Your howl could deafen someone for a brief amount of time, distracting them. You also had the agility which mean you could run— fast. 

Growing up wasn’t easy at all. You were often teased about your appearance. Kids would pull your tail, thinking it didn’t hurt you when in reality, it did. You spent majority of your childhood wondering why you had to have such an awful quirk, blaming your father since he was also part wolf. However, as you got older, you became more mature and focused more on yourself. Of course, you apologized to your father, which brought the two of your closer, allowing you to confess the reasoning behind why your child days were so… dark and why you lashed out in such ways. 

Your father was a strong man, taking on a few jobs at a time to support you and his self while also keeping the bills paid on time. You admired him for that but you didn’t want to depend on him anymore which led you to where you are right this second— staring at this damned ad, wondering when you’re going to build up some type of courage to text the number. “Oh, for all that is holy, just do it.” You grew tired of being scared so you brought out your phone and texted the number.

TO KIRI: Hey… I was texting about your ad about needing a third roommate and wanted to inquire about it, if you haven’t found anyone yet.

You thought about it again.. What if it was a scam? Oh, you literally brought your palm to your forehead, tapping it a times then halted when your phone buzzed. You looked at the screen, eyes widening in surprise because it was the number from the ad. You had your phone set to where you wouldn’t be able to see previews of your messages unless you unlocked it fully. You braced yourself for a ‘Sorry, we’ve found someone’ or something along those lines. You wouldn’t be surprised since it did take you forever to even act on this whole thing. You swiped left on the message, unlocked your phone, squeezing your eyes shut then took a deep breath. Your right eye slowly opened, eyesight adjusting to the brightness of your screen then falling amongst the words of this Kiri’s response. Your other eye shot open in shock, both your ears perking up.

FROM KIRI: Awesome! We haven’t really had any luck with anyone reliable.. so since that’s the case.. would you mind if me and the other roommate meet you for, say.. coffee? How’s tomorrow morning sound around 8:30-ish?

Thinking to yourself, were you reliable? Of course, you were. Responsible? Absolutely. You worked at a local animal shelter, coincidentally. You worked more with dogs than cats, though, which came with the territory. Dogs obviously gravitated more to you given your natural wolf scent that only they detected with their sense of smell. Recently, you were moved into a management position so you were paid pretty well, which struck up this whole idea to be on your own, per se. Before you could think any further, did you work tomorrow? No, perfect. You rolled over onto your stomach on your bed, tail moving from side-to-side.

TO KIRI: Of course! That sounds great. There’s a coffee shop a few blocks from where I currently stay.. called Camille’s Cafe, not sure if you have heard of it or would prefer something else?

Were you coming off pushy? Demanding? At this point, you didn’t know and you were so nervous that it was driving you crazy but before you could go into panic mode— you got a text back, agreeing on the meeting place and everything. That was… easy.. almost too easy.. Either way, you were thankful they wanted to meet in a public setting in case they really were scammers. That’s when the thought had hit you.. What if they were guys? Kiri didn’t necessarily sound like a guy’s name.. did it? You laughed at your overthinking. No way these were guys.

With that, you looked at the clock on your bedroom wall, it reading 9:30 PM. You decided to go ahead and settle into bed to get enough rest so you didn’t look like a walking zombie when you met your potential roommates for coffee. You plugged in your phone to the charger and laid down, laying awake for an extra hour or so before drifting to sleep.

After a long day of getting phone call after phone call, text after text from different people saying they were interested in their ad, Eijiro and Hanta were close to giving up. Everyone who showed interest had some type of flaw about them, whether it be a bad history of paying rent on time or being an awful roommate in the past. It was becoming annoying, to say the very least. After denying everyone who reached out, Eijiro thought it was best to just block all the numbers to prevent further contact.

“Bro, I’m beginning to lose hope. We probably won’t ever find someone else to move in with us.” Hanta sat down on the couch in the living room with a sigh, kicking his feet up on the table in front of him. “Might as well talk to Kats about ditching that condo he’s in to move in over here with us.” They had thought about that a few times but even the slight mention of a roommate the first time, their friend, Katsuki, was the first to say not to even consider him because he valued his privacy. They didn’t press further because they understood and knew how he was. 

Eijiro sat on the other end of the couch, directly across from Hanta, leaning forward to prop his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands. “You know exactly how that’ll go, Sero. I say the next person that texts us, we invite to coffee and really figure shit out. It’s been days since we posted that ad, and you know that we need the help we can get.” Hanta nodded in agreement then both their eyes shot down to Eijiro’s phone that lit up with a unsaved number, inquiring about the roommate situation. Hanta moved over to the same side as where Eijiro was to sit down once the red head picked up his phone to look at the message. 

“Huh, look at that! It’s almost like this person heard you.” Hanta chuckled, looking over the message. “What do you think? Coffee?” Eijiro nodded then sent his first text out in response to the inquirer.

TO (YOU): Awesome! We haven’t really had any luck with anyone reliable.. so since that’s the case.. would you mind if me and the other roommate meet you for, say.. coffee? How’s tomorrow morning sound around 8:30-ish?

Sero scowled, “8:30 in the morning, dude? You really must be desperate because we sleep till like noon on our days off. That or you’re hoping it’s a girl.” He laughed then got up to circle around the furniture to head to the kitchen. “I mean, it might be a girl… and it might be good for us. Could teach us a few things.” Kirishima didn’t think about what all that last statement could entail but Sero, thankfully, didn’t catch onto it. “I guess so. Did they respond?” Just as soon as he finished asking his question, another text came through. 

“How do you feel about Camille’s down the road?” Kirishima looked over to Sero who thought for a minute then shrugged with a nod, “Alright, yeah. I could go for one of her bagels. We haven’t seen the lady in a while so we should pay her a visit.” Camille was an older woman who had a heart of gold and loved both Kirishima and Sero. They always were such gentleman when they came in but they stopped going once the crime rate escalated the past few weeks. 

“That’s true. I told the person it sounded great so. Let’s head to bed so we can actually wake up early and look decent instead of a mess.” Kirishima rose from the sofa to head toward his room. Sero called out, “Wouldn’t have to get beauty sleep at all if you didn’t schedule this meeting at the crack ass of dawn.” With that, Kirishima held out his arm behind him, giving Sero the middle finger. “Stop your bitching and go to bed, princess.”

Sero laughed and both settled into bed for the night. While one went to sleep pretty quick, the other laid awake, wondering who this mystery person could be. The thought of whether it was a female or not, really stuck to Eijiro’s mind. He had hoped that if it was, they wouldn’t be scared away by the fact that they’d be living with two guys should they accept the offer at all. Kirishima wanted them to be as comfortable as possible and that’s what he intended on doing and without noticing, he drifted into a deep sleep.

[granddaughterogg]

What’s death’s reaction to his s/o referring to him as their husband? Like maybe they go out somewhere and s/o has to introduce death to a friend they ran into in public and the first thing that comes to mind while they’re all frazzled is “Oh! This is my /husband/!”

It was Friday afternoon - the worst possible time for a grocery haul.

You've tried to communicate this to your Nephilim a few times before, but the message bounced off them. The Horsemen were perceptive people, but they've spent most of their lives under very different stars (or sometimes under no stars at all.) Never before had they to fit their undertakings within a 24-hour timetable. The intricate ways in which human society works were also all but lost on them. Repeated explanations that certain stuff has to be done at certain hours probably hacked a few good years off your lifespan.

 Maybe one day they'll finally learn, you thought, slowly and tenderly losing your shit. Until then - your shared home life was a path full of organizational hiccups. Chaos often took over.

Anyway, you lived with four oversized individuals who didn't really have to eat, but they sure enjoyed it - and three of them consumed heaps. This week it just so happened that Strife went MIA (as he often would), Fury was having a Hair Maintenance Day and War really needed some bonding time with his steed. Or something.

Thankfully Death remained the reliable one. He grabbed you, summoned Despair from his pocket dimension (Death really wasn't the man for cars) and off to the supermarket you two went.

What you faced was a typical Friday after hours stampede. Tired, frustrated consumers teemed the aisles, filling their enormous shopping carts, crashing their carts into other people's backsides and running them over other people's feet. The air was stuffy, filled with maniacally upbeat music and high-pitched wailing of children. 

It was sheer hell.

"Let's make this quick", you pleaded into your companion's ashy ear. "I don't know how long I can take it. Can we split the shopping list? I'll grab the groceries, you go get all the cleaning stuff and we'll meet here, okay, love?"

Death nodded, straightened himself to his whole impressive height and stalked away. You watched his wide frame part the sea of busy heads. No matter how thick the crowd, people always seemed to just naturally skip out of Death's way. A sensible instinct. Many heads have turned, the expression on their faces something between dumbfoundedness and awe. You've heard quite a few stifled "Damn!"s.

You reached for packaged rice, smirking. Your man was seven and a half feet tall, his skin the shade of bone, and no, he wasn't wearing a shirt.

You managed to persuade him to leave all his jangly ironmongery at home. That's enough Fitting In for one trip.

Death's dark head finally disappeared behind the shelves and your thoughts refocused on filling the cart. You were picking up some broccoli in the produce aisle when a high-pitched voice uttered your name.

You jumped.

"No way!!!" Something big and bright filled your field of vision. You picked up the dropped broccoli, blinked a few times, and the yellow shape refocused into a head of hair - a shiny lob dyed sunny blonde. Not one hair stuck out of place.

"It really is you!!!" squealed the head in glee. It belonged to a rather attractive woman in big rectangular sunglasses, her lips very finely painted fuchsia pink. She always looked like those ladies portrayed in the so-called ladies' magazines. Thin and poreless, exuding easy confidence that comes from not being broke even once in her whole life.

"Hi, Julianne", you groaned. There was no escaping it now.

"Honey!!! So glad to see you!!" professed the woman, eyeing you shrewdly from head to toe. She probably calculated the price of your whole outfit in her head right now - and the contents of your cart while she was at it. Drawing conclusions. Always have been good with maths. Fucking Julianne.

"I wrote to you on Facebook so many times!!" Multiple exclamation points have been her thing; apparently, this hasn't changed since high school. "Why did you never answer, silly? We had so much fun during our class reunion..."

"Uh, I bet", you murmured. You wouldn't step back within your old school walls even if they paid you. "Sorry for going no contact. I've had a lot on my plate recently, you know -"

"Like what?" the woman tilted her shapely head, her attitude playful, but also slightly accusatory.

It made you angry. 

Remember the Apocalypse, Julianne? Remember when you slipped into non-existence among most of the human race? I bet you don't. I bet you decided to forget this ever happened. Like so many others did. Well, I didn't die, so I can't forget. Someone saved me and I got to traverse many different realms side by side with a Horseman of the fucking Apocalypse. And then he gave his life away, and later got brought back to life by his brother, who is also a Horseman - and we've been living together ever since...

Of course, you didn't say any of that out loud. You stood there, fondling the lush green broccoli in your hands. What even was the point?

"Oh, you know. I got into a relationship..." 

"You did?"

You looked her dead in the eye - blue and suddenly wide under the swanky shades - and could tell that this was a direct hit.

"Well, yeah." You smiled at Julianne. "Those things happen, you know."

"Sure, sure!! But frankly, out of all of us, I'd never suspect you to settle with a man and all..." 

"Excuse me?"

Julianne held at a strand of her perfect, shiny hair and then let go. "You were always quite the feminist after all..."

"What does this have to do with - " you blurted out and stopped mid-sentence because Death emerged from behind the shelves. His arms were full of various cleaning stuff.

"I've got everything from the list", he said. "I've also got at least partially deaf. Are we done here?"

A wide smile upturned the corners of your mouth - this time a genuine one because Julianne looked like a startled fish. She stared at you, then at the ashy, muscular, hulking giant at your side, then back at your beaming face.

Pettiness is the dish of the gods. 

"Death, love, meet Julianne", you said gracefully. "Julianne, this is Death. My husband."

The words slipped out of you on their own.

You tossed him a panicked, beseeching look, but your Nephilim was game. Maybe his eyebrow quivered a little; it happened so fast that Julianne would never notice. She was too busy ogling rocky abs of this man you've settled with.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance", said Death in his most velvety, bordering-on-indecent tone. Julianne just nodded back stiffly, as if submerged in a trance.

You left the supermarket soon after that.

A strange, playful little smile twirled your Horseman's lips while he loaded all the groceries into Despair's saddlebags. Thankfully those operated on the principle of magic, not physics, or the horse's spectral back would break.

"I assume that wasn't a friend." You spent all the way to the parking lot trying not to look him in the face. The words startled you.

"Hell no. She's a bitch."

"Ah." That was his whole answer. Finally, all the groceries have been stuffed into the magic pocket space. Death turned around, clasped his hands to your waist and lifted you onto the saddle. His movements bore such effortless grace. It happened so many times and you still weren't over how inhumanely strong this man is.

He sat right behind you. You clasped both hands on the saddle's horn, discreetly basking in this soothing feeling that being surrounded by Death's powerful physique gave you. 

His torso pressed into your back, his strong thighs almost touching yours. This bliss would never get old.

"You know, I can't help but wonder." Death's deep voice was like a silky needle, injected into your frayed nerves. "Why did you call me this word?"

"It...just felt right", you said, staring at Despair's pointy ears, wreathed with spectral discharge. The horse turned his humongous head as if asking: Can we go now? But your companion wasn't done yet.

"Do you wish for me to take your hand in marriage?"

You almost keeled over.

"Damn, D! Well...I...I don't want to force any more human stuff on you, you know?"

He leaned over; long, black strands of hair grazed your mouth. Death looked you in the face. You'd rather he didn't.

"Do you or do you not?"

"Damn, I do. I'd absolutely love to. But you have to live in this human world with me and you're constantly surrounded by alien stuff and alien customs which don't hold much meaning to you, and that would just be...another one of those things, right?" you murmured, lowering your head.

"I'm surrounded by alien stuff wherever I go", said Death softly. "I don't have a place I'd call home."

"I know! But it's hard!" you admitted. "You're always asking me what is it that I want. But marriage is one of those things that have to be desired by both people equally, or it means nothing..."

You suddenly felt very small and rather sad.

"I don't want you to get entangled in something that you have no use for", you whispered, pinning your eyes to the worn-off leather of the saddle. "Not just for me."

Death didn't answer for a good while. Then his big hand covered yours and squeezed it slightly.

Before you've met him, you always imagined that Death's touch must be freezing cold. That was not true.

"I understand", he said, "and I am grateful for your candour."

He nudged the horse and off you went, both unusually quiet.

[masterofmunson]

hello, mrs. reid

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your husband will do anything to protect you, even if it means playing house with someone who isn’t you. Season 15, episode 6 Spence.

Warnings: language, kidnapping, gun violence, typical criminal minds angst and drama

Word Count: 5.1k+

Author’s Note: My first Reid fic! I love Criminal Minds so I want to start writing fics about pretty boy genius™️. Let me know what you think!

Something was off the moment you stepped into the office. JJ and Garcia wouldn’t meet your eyes and Spencer wasn’t at his desk. Normally, you would come to the office together, but he’d left almost immediately when Emily called earlier in the morning. You were still waking up and getting ready before he kissed you quickly and ran out the door. It wasn’t odd to arrive at Quantico separately, but it always makes you nervous when Spencer doesn’t tell you what’s going on right away. It’s a tell tale sign that he’s keeping something from you.

Despite the fact you’ve been together for nearly five years, three of which as husband and wife, he still tries to keep you safe even though you both have the same job. You love him with your entire heart and you love that he’ll do anything for you, but it’s important to you that you can stand your ground without your husband’s protection every now and then.

“Where’s Spence?” you ask JJ, taking a slow sip from your coffee mug. You shrug off your jacket and lean back in your chair. You anxiously twirl your wedding ring around your finger.

“He’s with Emily and Rossi in her office,” JJ answers.

You nod and quickly stand up from your chair. You walk up the steps and knock softly on the door to Emily’s office. You wait a few seconds before the door is pulled open and your poor husband nearly knocks you over. You laugh softly and steady yourself by grabbing his shoulders.

A deep frown is etched in his face and he avoids your soft touch. He tries to walk around you, but you block his path. Spencer sighs, gritting his teeth at you and running a hand through his hair. Your brows crease together as you stare at him.

“What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?” you whisper gently. You resist the urge to reach for his hands. Despite the fact that you love to show him support and affection when he desperately needs it, you both know better than to do it in front of the entire team.

He sighs again and grabs your hand. He pulls you behind him and walks the two of you to Derek’s old office down the hall. Spencer quickly turns the lights on and slams the door shut behind you. He locks the door before closing the shades looking into the vacant office to give the two of you some privacy.

You watch him carefully and listen to his heavy breathing. You call his name gently as he paces around the length of the room. Spencer finally looks at you and takes two quick strides over to you before reaching for your face.

The sudden movement catches you off guard. His fingers gently caress your face before his mouth finds yours. You jump in surprise at the intensity of the kiss. You gasp loudly as Spencer devours you. It makes your heart race and skin tingle. It’s like he’s taking you whole.

You pull away, hot and breathless as you stare at your frazzled husband. His hair is in disarray from your fingers and fear is present in his eyes. You gently brush your thumb against the side of his face. He leans into your touch.

“What’s going on, Spence?” you whisper softly, even though you know you don’t need to. “Not that I don’t enjoy your love and affection, but what was that for?”

Despite the obvious anxiousness he feels, he laughs in response. He brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear before leaning to kiss your forehead. “You know I love you, right? You know that I’ll do anything to protect you.”

You nod, reaching for his chin again. You kiss him again. This time it’s sweet and gentle. You rest your forehead against his. “Yes, Spence. I know you love me. I love you too. Please tell me what’s going on. It’s starting to scare me,” you answer softly, clinging to your husband.

“Some woman is working for Cat Adams. She wants her released or she’ll kill the father and daughter she kidnapped. Cat will only talk to me,” Spencer tells you, holding you tightly.

You swallow hard. He’s still refusing to look you in the eyes. He’s holding back. You can read him like the back of your hand. He’s keeping something from you to try and keep you safe. It makes your stomach drop. “What aren’t you telling me, Spence? Tell me the truth.”

Tears gather at the corners of your husband’s eyes. He looks away briefly before you reach to hold his face and brush the stray tears away. You kiss his forehead.

He lets out a labored breath before speaking. “This woman took Charlie and Kennedy.”

Your ears start to ring and your knees buckle beneath you. Spencer is quick to catch you and he practically carries you to the couch tucked away in the corner of the room. He holds you tightly as you struggle to breathe.

This woman, whoever she is, took the only family you have. Your Uncle Charlie raised you alongside your cousin Kennedy. Your parents were gone and your uncle took it upon himself to raise you and his daughter as a single father right after your aunt died when you were children. He wasn’t your uncle, he was your dad. Kennedy wasn’t your cousin, she was your sister.

You let out a loud cry and you don’t care if anyone hears. You’d put your family at risk. Cat was going to pay for what she did.

“We have to find them. I can’t lose them, Spence. I can’t. I already have a small family. I don’t want it to be even smaller,” you cry as he holds you and brushes your hair with his gentle fingers.

“We’ll find them. I promise,” Spencer whispers through soft tears. He seals his promise with a firm, loving kiss on your mouth. You cling on to his tie and pull him down harder into your mouth. Your body tingles with love and comfort for your perfect husband. You love him with your entire soul.

He brushes away the last few tears from your face before you stand up from your spot on the couch beside him. You reach for Spencer’s hand and he stands up beside you. He takes his free hand and gently rubs underneath your eyes, catching your mascara on the tip of his finger. He smiles at you and you do the same, despite how you feel. He kisses you again before opening the office door and walking beside you back to the office with your hand in his.

Taking the seat next to him at the round table, his hand never leaves yours. Instead, it finds comfort on your thigh as he squeezes your hand every now and then.

You listen to Emily and Garcia intensely. A photograph pops up on the screen of your family with a woman you don’t recognize. Their faces are full of fear and you feel hopeless. You know Emily won’t let you help with the case. It’s a given, but it doesn’t make you feel any better.

Their voices all muffle in your ears. You feel like you can’t breathe. You’re close to tears, but you don’t let them fall. Spencer squeezes your hand again, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“The only demand this woman has is to have Cat Adams released in 24 hours,” Garcia states, pulling up the digital note that was sent to her email.

You let out a bitter laugh and shake your head in disbelief. This wasn’t just about Spence and Cat. It was about you too.

When the team caught her five years earlier, you and Spencer just started dating. You’d been friends for so long that it just felt natural to take the next step. You helped him grieve for Maeve. You had always been there for him and you showed him just how much he deserved to be loved.

“They’re transferring Cat over to us now. She won’t talk to anyone other than Spencer,” Emily states, closing the file in her hands.

You shake your head in protest. “Absolutely not. All she wants is his attention and to play games with him.”

Your voice is firm and your gaze hard as your eyes meet Emily’s. You won’t let Cat try to take Spence away from you.

He reaches for your hand again and squeezes it firmly. You look over to your husband and your eyes soften.

“I’ll be okay. I have to do this to find our family. I’ve beaten her before, I can do it again,” he tells you. He says it with such strong conviction that you let out an anxious breath.

You nod and Spencer takes you out of the briefing room so he can talk to you privately. He pulls you into Derek’s empty office again and practically slams the door shut. He immediately wraps his arms around you.

You let out a wounded cry as you cling to him. Tears slide down your cheeks and dampen his shirt. His hand holds the back of your head as he hugs you to him. Your entire body is shaking and your knees give out underneath you. Spencer is quick to catch you and gently joins you on the floor of the office.

You pull away from the crock of his neck and he holds your face delicately in his hands. Tears gather at the corners of his eyes as he brushes away your tears. You grab at his tie, pulling him closer to you. His mouth meets yours in a feather light kiss. It reminds you of the first time you kissed. He was anxious and you were too. It felt like his mouth wasn’t even touching yours with how soft it was. It still made your entire body tingle.

Your husband kisses you again. This time a little firmer and you know what it means. He loves you and he’ll do anything to protect you.

He pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. You close your eyes and breathe him in. He brushes hair away from your face and kisses your forehead.

You swallow hard and meet his eyes. “Give me your ring, Spence,” you whisper, reaching for his left hand. Your eyes are fixated on the worn golden band on his ring finger. He hates taking it off.

His brows crease together in confusion as he looks at you. “Why do you want my ring?” he asks you.

You sigh. Now it’s your turn to kiss his forehead and brush loose strands of hair behind his ears. “I don’t want her to see it. I don’t want her to try and take it from you,” you confess. “It’ll be safe with me.”

He frowns. You know it’s the last thing he wants to do. He feels naked without the ring on his finger. He feels bare without the reminder of your love on his hand.

“Okay.”

Your eyes are trained on his hands. They pull out of your gentle grasp. He grasps the ring softly between his fingers and pulls it off. He sets it in the palm of your hand and automatically fidgets his fingers together at the loss of his wedding ring.

You lean forward and kiss his lips again. You squeeze the ring in your palm. “Thank you,” you murmur against his mouth before pulling away.

You carefully unhook the bare chain necklace around your neck. You pull your ring off too and slide both rings onto the chain. You turn your head and your husband helps you put the necklace back on. He presses a soft kiss to the nape of your neck before letting your hair fall back into place on your shoulders. You tuck the rings underneath the safety of your sweater where no one can see.

Spencer helps you back to your feet again and you card your fingers through his hair one last time. He kisses you one last time.

“I love you.”

You smile, despite the hurt and fear riddled inside your chest. “And I love you,” you reply before the two of you make your way back to the team.

Cat Adams arrives soon after the briefing. She’s flanked by a number of armed policemen and agents. You can tell she’s smirking despite the mask on her face. She’s smug and walking tall as she walks down the hallway.

You, Penelope, JJ, and Matt all watched her disappear. Your hand reaches up to your necklace after she passes. You bite the inside of your cheek anxiously.

You know you shouldn’t watch the interrogation. Emily ordered you to just sit tight. You had too much at stake and she would’ve done the same to Spence if he wasn’t the only agent Cat would speak to.

You ignore all the red flags inside your head. You practically race down the hallway into the office attached to the interrogation room. Tara and Luke turn their heads towards you as you enter and stand beside them in front of the two way mirror.

Spencer’s back is to you. His posture is rigid. You catch a glimpse of his face from the cameras inside. A shiver runs down your spine when her voice reaches your ears.

“Hi, Spencie. Are you happy to see me because I’m sure happy to see you!” Cat exclaims, grinning at your husband.

He ignores her. “You’ve arranged the kidnapping of two people. You did it the same way you did before with a partner on the outside, but her demand, release Cat Adams, will never happen. So tell me what you want right now before I send you back to prison,” his voice is firm and authoritative.

You watch her body language carefully. She’s slouched in the chair. She tells him how she’s given up, how she’s stopped fighting. She plead guilty to all 72 counts of murder and requested the death penalty.

“So you’ve grown a conscious now? I don’t think so.”

She scoffs, claiming boredom. “Death has to be much better than this. It’s made me think, and I could only think of you. I want to go on a date with you, Spencie. I want to have fun! I want to look pretty!”

Your stomach drops inside your chest. It makes your heart race and you feel like you can’t breathe.

“The only date I’ll be at is when they stick a needle in your vein.”

“Are you really going to let a father and daughter die?” she asks him with a smug smirk.

“I never said anything about a father and daughter. You’re already slipping.”

Your legs tremble beneath you and Cat taunts your husband. You feel like you can’t breathe. You watch your husband turn his back to her and storm out of the interrogation room. You let out another breath of air you were holding in and Tara looks over at you.

You leave the office and make a beeline towards the elevator. You step inside and press the button to the bottom floor. The elevator starts to move and stops on the first floor. Stepping outside, you walk towards the outdoor eating area. You sit on an empty bench and look down into your hands.

You close your eyes, listening to the wind hit the nearby trees. Your fingers twirl the rings hanging from your necklace.

“What’re you doing out here?” JJ asks you, joining you on the bench.

“Trying to breathe,” you utter. You glance over at her and she reaches for your hand. She squeezes it firmly. “I know he’ll do whatever it takes to get my family back. He won’t want to take her on the date, but he has to.”

JJ sighs and you rest your head on her shoulder. She rubs your back to comfort you. “I know.”

Suddenly your phone rings. You pull it out of your pocket and you turn to look at JJ. It’s an unknown number. You swallow hard and you answer it.

“Hello? Who is this?” you ask into the phone.

“Y/n! Please help me! Help Dad!” your sister Kennedy screams into the phone.

Your heart drops inside your chest. Tears spill over your cheeks and you look over to JJ. “Kennedy? Where are you? Can you see anything that stands out to you?” you ask her.

You hear the phone shuffle in the background. “Go home,” a voice says. You know it’s the woman that kidnapped your sister and dad. “If you tell Spencer, your family dies. If you leave your house, your family dies.”

The line goes dead and you're frozen in place. You’re at a loss for words and JJ squeezes your hand. This was never about Spencer. You were the hidden agenda.

You run through the building back to the elevator. JJ follows behind you and you impatiently wait for the elevator doors to open. You press the button to the floor the BAU office is on and the doors close.

The doors open to the elevator and you run towards Emily’s office. You almost miss Spencer walking down the hall with Cat on his arm. You don’t have time to stop and watch Cat strut down the hallway with a smirk on her face beside your husband.

“Y/n—” Matt says your name and you wave him off. You don’t have time to dwell on the serial murderer obsessed with your husband.

“Not now, Simmons,” you snap, pushing past him towards Emily. JJ follows close behind and Emily reaches for your shoulders when she notices the distressed look on your face. “This game she’s playing, it’s not just about Spence. It’s about me. Us. The woman working for her called me. She forced my sister to call me. She wants me to go home. If I leave the house or tell Spence she’ll kill my sister.”

“Cat’s obsessed with Spencer. She’s threatened by you. Taking your family was her twisted way of threatening you,” Emily states. “She wants to take him away from you.”

You nod. You can barely breathe. “I have to go home. If I don’t, she’ll kill Kennedy. I have to go home.”

Emily pulls you in for a hug. “It’s okay. I’ll take you home. You’ll be safe.”

Emily takes your arm gently and you grab your keys and purse from your desk before heading to the elevator.

You arrive home 15 minutes later. Unmarked cars line the block and Emily helps wire you. Your fingers tremble and Emily squeezes your hand. “Take a deep breath, okay? Everything will be fine.”

You walk up the steps of your porch and unlock the front door. You lock the door behind you and turn on the light to the front hallway.

Walking down the hall, you set your keys and purse on the kitchen table. You lean against the kitchen table and run your fingers through your hair.

You pace the length of the kitchen, twirling your wedding ring between your fingers anxiously. Your heart races and you’re near tears again. You hurry to the kitchen to grab a wine bottle from on top of the fridge when you hear the lock on the front door click open.

You hurry out of the kitchen and pull your gun out of the holster on your hip. You aim towards the front door, waiting with baited breath for the door to open. The door is pushed open and you gasp, your heart falls inside your chest.

Spence is standing at the foyer of the door with Cat draping herself on him. Her mouth is on your husband’s. His hands hold her face firmly as her tongue swipes over his top lip. You hate that tears threaten to fall from your eyes when you know it’s exactly what she wants.

Spencer pulls away from her and his head turns towards you. His eyes widen as he stares at you. He frowns and pushes away from her.

“Well, this is awkward,” Cat laughs. “Nice to see you Mrs. Reid.”

“What are you doing here? Get out of here!” Spencer asks you, running towards you. Your eyes are still trained on her.

“I can’t. If I leave, she kills Kennedy.”

“Awe, that’s too bad,” Cat pouts at you.

You glare at her, tightening the grip on your gun, aiming it at her. “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t shoot you,” you snap at her.

She grins at you. “Your sister and dad are dead if you do, Mrs. Reid.”

“Honey, they have your dad. He’s safe. Put your gun down,” Spencer’s voice is soft and gentle as he stares at you.

You blink away your tears and put your gun back into your holster. Spencer turns back to the front of the house and shuts the door. You watch Cat carefully. Her eyes look around the room as she sits in the chair closest to the fireplace. Spencer approaches you and you turn your head away from him when he tries to kiss you.

“Take a seat. We have a lot to talk about.”

You move to sit on the couch across from her and Spence does the same thing. You ring your fingers together and stare at the wall behind Cat.

“Does it make you mad that I kissed your husband, Mrs. Reid?” she asks, leaning forward and grinning at you.

You swallow hard and shake your head. “No. I expected you to try and do something to try and make me lose the faith I have in him. This is just a game to you.”

She laughs again and it sends a chill down your spine. “I brought us all here to make a point. You can do so much better. You need to know the truth about your husband, Mrs. Reid.”

Now it’s your turn to laugh. You won’t be intimidated by her. You roll your eyes at her. “Oh, I do? Please enlighten me with what I need to know about my husband.”

She smirks, her eyes finding Spencer’s. “I see why you married her. You’re her bitch, aren’t you Spencie?”

“Shut up!” Spencer shouts suddenly. It makes you jump and you reach to hold his hand. He pulls his hand away from yours and stands up, towering over Cat.

“Put your hands on me again and your sister in law is dead,” she snaps, glaring at him. She smirks when you stand up and reach for his hand again. You pull him away and sit back down. “See how he treats me, Mrs. Reid? After everything he’s said, he still wants to hurt me.”

Your brows crease together in confusion. You have no idea what she’s talking about. Cat grins at your obvious confusion. Your eyes meet hers. “What are you talking about?”

“Tell her, Spencie. Tell her what you told me.”

“No,” his voice is firm and strong. He doesn’t break his threatening gaze.

“Tell her!” Cat screams, slapping the chair. “Look her in the eyes and tell her!”

“Spence?” you murmur softly. Your ears are ringing and your heart is racing. It feels like your heart is beating outside of your chest.

He sighs shakily before looking you in the eyes. His hands squeeze yours tightly and he brings your hands up to his mouth, kissing your knuckles. “I said you weren’t her and that no matter what, I can’t get her out of my mind,” he whispers quietly.

It feels like your heart stopped beating. A single tear slides down your face and you pull away from his hands and look away at the floor.

“Ouch, Spencie. You just got rejected by your wife. Look at that, you made her cry!”

“Everything I said was a lie. I had to to save your family,” Spence states.

You know he’s telling the truth. He loves you more than life itself. He’ll do anything to protect you, even if it meant kissing a psychotic serial killer to save your family. You just can’t show it.

“Did the kiss look like a lie?” Cat asks you with a pointed look. You know what you have to say and you hate it. You have to play her game. You have to play into her fantasy that your husband is losing you.

“No,” you whisper, turning your head away from your husband and the woman sitting across from you. Your bottom lip trembles as you try to keep your composure.

Your body goes numb as you ignore the two of them. Your ears buzz and you look up to meet her menacing eyes.

“Why are you doing this?” you ask her. Your voice breaks and you struggle to hold back tears again.

Cat stands up from the seat next to the fireplace to squat in front of you. Her eyes meet yours. “I want you to see it. I want you to see that he’s no better than whoever hurt you before.”

You feel like you can barely breathe as you listen to your husband and Cat. All you want to do is save your sister. Whatever is going on between them is their business and not yours.

You stand up from the couch and stare at her. “I don’t want any part of the game you two have! I just want my sister! What do I have to do to get you to release my sister?” you shout. It makes your husband jump. Blood rushes through your head and you feel like you’re about to faint.

She smirks, pointing to the necklace on you. Your hand automatically holds it against your chest. “Prove your loyalty to your sister. Give me your ring. Prove that your sister means more to you than your husband, that you’re willing to lose him to save her.”

You stand frozen in front of her. “I give you the ring and you’ll release my sister?” you ask her, fumbling with the rings on your neck.

“Promise.”

“Y/n—” Spence says your name, but it’s too late.

You break the clasp of the necklace and it falls off your neck. The rings rest in the palm of your hand and you turn your head away as she takes the rings from you as well as your phone.

She texts the number and a photo of your sister appears. You grab it from her and run out of the house, leaving your husband behind. The last thing you hear is Cat laughing.

Emily hugs you and takes your phone, handing it off to someone else so they can find your sister. Emily guides you to the nearest car and you drive back to Quantico.

You run straight through the glass double doors of the office foyer when you find your father and sister beside Rossi. They look relatively unharmed and the weight on your shoulders disappears the moment you hug them. You cling to them as tears fall down your face.

You’re relieved, but it doesn’t make the feeling of guilt go away. You know Spencer’s an absolute wreck. You made Cat think she won, that she had the upper hand. You gave her your ring when you promised your husband they would both be safe in order to save your family.  

He thinks he’s lost you. He thinks you never want to see him again. He thinks he’s the most vile person on the planet. He kissed another woman to save your family and you risked your marriage in order to save your sister.

Hours go by, and Spencer still hasn’t shown. It makes you anxious and jittery as you drink your third cup of coffee, staring out the large double doors at the elevator.

Emily makes sure to comfort and reassure you that he’s alright, that he’ll show up. Eventually he does.

The elevator dings and the doors slide open, revealing your husband. His shoulders are sunken and exhaustion paints underneath his eyes. He looks so defeated and broken. It breaks your heart.

Running out to meet him, you nearly knock him off his feet. You cry in relief and hold on to him tightly. He’s tense, shocked at your display of affection for him.  

You pull your head away from his chest and look him in the eyes. Tears fall down his face and you hold him gently. You kiss him firmly. He holds you tightly as you kiss and taste his tears.

“I thought…. I thought I lost you,” he stutters, squeezing you hard. It’s like he fears you’ll disappear again.  

You wipe his tears away, shaking your head. “I had to play into her fantasy. I’m sorry, Spence. I had to keep you in the dark. I love you so much. You’re never going to lose me,” you tell him, running your hands through his unruly hair.

“I’m sorry,” he sniffs. “I had to kiss her. I had to say those awful things to get your family back. I wish I didn’t have to say them. I’m sorry. I love you so much that it kills me.”

You hold his head against you and you hug him tightly. “I know. I know. You did what you had to do and I did too. I love you Spence. I hate that I had to give her the ring. I’m sorry. I promised you that they would be safe and they weren’t.”

Your husband initiates the kiss this time. He brushes away your lingering tears and his mouth makes your skin tingle. Your grasp tightens on his hair. He pulls away and rests his forehead against yours.

“I know. It’s okay,” he whispers, slipping his hand into his pants pocket and pulling your wedding rings out. You take his and gently slip the golden band on his ring finger. He does the same to you and you kiss again to seal your promise of eternity once more.

He takes your hand in his and presses a gentle kiss to the ring on your finger. It makes you grin and he kisses your mouth again.

“I love you,” you tell him.

“And I love you,” your husband replies, wrapping an arm around your waist as the two of you enter the office together.

Since that day, Spencer’s never taken off his ring. He leaves it on no matter what. In his sleep, the ring adorns his finger. In the shower, the ring stays on. It doesn’t matter. He’s made an eternal promise to you that he intends to keep.

You do the same, reminding yourself you love each other no matter what. Your rings cemented your eternal love for each other, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[maxineswritingcenter]

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader part 24

--------------

2004 

“We lay to rest a beloved member of the community. A mother. A friend. A daughter. A wife. Claudia Stilinski...” We stood on the lawn of Beacon Hills Memorial Cemetery, watching Aunt Claudia’s casket being lowered into the ground. She had been sick for so long and it was starting to turn ugly... But she was in a better place now, that’s what Uncle Noah said. When he spoke at least. I looked past the grieving people, like Ms. McCall, Scott, the entire police department, and looked at Stiles. He looked so tired. His cheeks were tear stained and his eyes were red from crying. 

Once people started to disperse, my parents and I made our way over to Uncle Noah and Stiles. While the adults talked, Stiles and I just continued to stare at the grave. The grounds keepers were starting to cover her body with dirt. 

“Do you want me to spend the night tonight?” I whispered, reaching over and holding his hand. 

Stiles shook his head, chewing on the inside of his cheek, “I want to be alone tonight.” He gave my hand a squeeze.

“Wouldn’t tonight be the worst time to be alone?” 

“I just want to be at home with my dad. I need some time for myself.” 

“(Y/N).” We both turned at my father’s voice, “Let’s go, sweetie.” We both looked back at the grave.

“Okay. Well, call if you change your mind.” I gave his hand a squeeze before letting it slip away. 

We got into the car, making our way back home. 

“How you holding up, sweetie?” Mom turned back and looked at me over the sink. 

“I don’t want to be alone tonight.” I said, looking out the window.

“Well, you don’t have to.” Dad said, “We’ll get into our pjs and watch Disney movies. You know how much Aunt Claudia loved Disney movies.” 

I swallowed thickly, “Actually... I was hoping that I could go to see the Hales. If that’s okay.” Dad sighed loudly and mom smacked him subtly. 

“Sure, baby.” Mom said, a sad smile on her face, “I’ll call Talia when we get home.” 

-

When I was dropped off at the Hales’, Talia welcomed me with open arms, a blanket, and a hot chocolate. I guess what I needed was away from the whole situation. We played games, Laura braided my hair, we made friendship bracelets. At the end of the night, Laura and Cora had fallen asleep to the movie we had been watching and Derek had snuck us both onto the roof of the Hale house. We were on our back, looking up at all the stars in the sky and the moon shining down on us. We had been in silence for a while until Derek cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“So, uh, are you excited for high school next year?” 

I sighed and shook my head, “After today? I don’t think I’ll be ready for anything.”

“Yeah...” He turned on his side to face me, “I’m sorry about your aunt. I know she was important to you.” 

“Thanks...” I turned, “I guess I’m just kinda worried about everything. I don’t know what life is going to be like without her. And I’m worried about Stiles too.” 

“I bet. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my mom.” He said. Then, he reached out and grabbed my hand, “Whenever you feel like this again, let me know. You can come over and we can do this again. Whatever you need, I’ll be there.” 

I smiled, a slight blush to my cheeks that I really hoped was hidden in the dark, “Thanks, Derek.” 

“Of course.” He smiled, “It’s what friends do.” 

-

The communication with Beacon Hills was slim to none. And, ya know, that didn’t feel great. I understood that everyone was busy living their lives whether it was being a high school student or fighting supernatural beings or being a supernatural being or the sheriff in a town full of both. But unanswered texts and calls were starting to get to me. 

The ones I got weren’t great either though. Stiles occasionally sent me a long email about the events that had happened since long distance calls weren’t in the phone plan. 

I had learned more about the alpha pack - a blind one, a woman who could definitely use a manicure, a strong man, and twins who could morph into each other. I was almost a little happy I didn’t have to deal with that. 

All the betas were missing except Isaac who had stayed behind. Even if he did get in trouble every now and then. 

And then missing turned into dead. Hearing that Erica was dead really hit me hard. I barely knew the girl, a few moments and quick chats usually didn’t mean that much. But they found her locked in a closet, rotting. It was horrifying. She was a child. She was finally enjoying her life - a new life without seizures and bullying, her parents had taken her to get pictures taken; happy to see that their little girl loved herself for the first time. Now she was gone. 

They found Boyd alive, thankfully. And surprisingly, they had found Derek’s sister: Cora. 

Not forgetting that there were flocks of animals committing mass suicide and kids turning up murdered. It seems home is getting more and more dangerous. Not only was there an alpha pack but there was a creature called a Darach, a dark druid. 

The leader of the alpha pack, Deucalion, was trying to get Derek to join his pack. He also wanted me to join as well, apparently he had been asking where I was. To join, he would have to kill the betas. Derek, who I’m sure was done being manipulated, refused. To keep him safe, Derek kicked Isaac out of the depot to live with Scott. 

Speaking of dead...

Even thousands of miles away, the vision of falling three stories still hurt as much as if I was actually there. A battle between the alphas, Derek and Scott. And honestly, I wasn’t sure if Derek was alive or dead. Every little message I thought to him just echoed in my head. I had cried, tried forcing myself to work through it. But nothing really worked. I still woke up in the middle of the night, naked on the castle grounds having shifted my feelings or else I was instinctually trying to search for him. First it was anger, next it was denial, then more anger. And that was all just last night. 

Hell, not even forgetting to mention the fact that the test Lachlan ran on me was a little more than just a blood panel. They checked for human chorionic gonadotropin hormone aka the pregnancy hormone. And things were just getting better and better. Because it was positive. I am pregnant. And the father may be dead. 

-

Sending a preemptive long distance fee to Stiles’ PayPal account, I called the house phone. It didn’t have caller ID but it was something. Michael didn’t think it was a good idea, however, it was gonna be a cold day in Hell before I listened to his double agent ass. Lachlan thought I deserved closure. And I trusted him more. 

“Stilinski residence.” Stiles’ voice was a little scratchy, but still loud and clear. 

“Stiles, if you hang up on me I swear you will live to regret it. I still have access to your secret YouTube channel.” There was a pause on the other end, then a sigh. 

“Hey (Y/N). I was wondering why I got an email from my PayPal."

 "Is there a reason I've been on everyone's pay no mind list? Because it's starting to piss me off."

"Well... Derek said that we shouldn't worry about or get you stressed out."

"So not talking to me for months is supposed to help?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Uh... Ya got me there."

I groaned and started tapping my foot, "I just...." My mind seemed to go blank, my heart rate going up. That's not right. I wasn't doing anything to make it spike like this.

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry, I wish I could contact you more. But there's a lot going on here with the alpha pack and Lydia and-and Derek-"

"Shit." I wheezed, sitting down on the bed. My body felt so warm and not in the way it normally would.

"Yeah I know, it's a lot right now-" His voice was drowned out by my senses taking over. It was the familiar warmth of intimacy. But not from me. It was Derek! He was alive. But he was with someone. And that someone-

He was kissing her. Touching her. His heart racing. Her touch set his skin ablaze and nothing else mattered. Not even the wounds on his body that nearly killed him. But all that mattered was her intoxicating touch. The touch of a woman he didn’t know. But her whole being enveloped him.  

I screamed loudly in anger, but behind that anger was so much pain. My chest ached and felt like it was being pulled across the world. I dropped the phone, holding my chest.

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)! What's wrong?!" My breathing was erratic and my thoughts were going wild between what had just happened and what I was thinking and what I had to do from here. I felt so helpless and alone. What could I do?

Then... There was an answer. Maybe it was the stress? Maybe it was my raging hormones? But I had my answer.

I picked the phone back up.

"(Y/N)! Talk to me, what's going on?"

I inhaled and exhaled deeply, "Derek’s alive."

"He is?"

"But not for long." I hung up.

How dare he? HOW COULD HE? AFTER EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH OUR ENTIRE LIVES AND HE JUST- JUST THROWS IT ALL OUT? And for what? Who could have been more important than me? I'm his stupid mate for Christ's sake.

But if he wants to sleep around?

Fine.

Fine.

He could for the next thirteen hours. Because I'm going back to Beacon Hills for the soul purpose of ripping his heart out like he did mine. And if this emotional trauma affected my child? Well, there were repercussions for that too.

-

Michael and Lachlan were in my room, watching me as I threw together a bag to take on the plane. Remarkably, as a member of the Lunar Circle I would get free airfare courtesy of Lachlan mostly because the guy was insanely rich and he agreed with my revenge plot, for the most part.

"Okay, let's think rationally here." Michael said, taking things out of my bag as I was putting them in, "He's a total douche bag for doing this. We all agree. But in your state, I don't think you should fly. I mean anything could happen."

"I can fly until I'm thirty-six weeks along." I said curtly, grabbing my things out of his hands and putting them back in the bag.

"Come on, think about what you're doing-"

"I have thought about it. And I'm going to kill him."

Michael looked back at Lachlan who had his arms crossed over my chest, only observing.

"A little help here, Praetor McLeod?"

Lachlan shrugged, "Seems justified to me."

"Murder? Murder seems justified to you." He asked incredulously.

"It's the werewolf way." Lachlan said simply.

"Thank you, Lachlan." I smiled.

"Anytime."

"Okay, what about this?" Michael stood in front of my path to my bag, "Murdering him seems like a great idea right now, I totally get it. But-but if you do that, it will weigh heavily on your conscience."

"The Lunar Circle has excellent insurance, including therapy." Lachlan chimed in.

I moved Michael out of the way, "Duly noted."

Michael sputtered, "And-and your baby? What about your baby? That's their dad."

"Their dad who decided to stick his penis in another woman." I raised my eyebrows at him, "That one? Yeah, what a stand up guy."

“But you love him. Don’t you think killing him-”

“Michael!” I slammed my suitcase shut, “Shut up.” I turned and faced both of them, “You’re right, okay? I do love him, which is the worst part. I hate him so much but I still love him. I dedicated my life to him and I thought he had dedicated himself to me. I was wrong.” I zipped the bag and made my way out the door, “I’ll be back at the end of the week.”

-

Getting on the plane didn’t take long. Relatively short lines, quick ticket, fast boarding. Like someone was looking out for me as I went to kick Derek's ass. Becoming alpha to Derek's pack was starting to sound better and better as the pain continued to radiate through my body. Eventually, I just felt numb.

The people on the plane were nice. I sat next to an older gentleman who slept for the most part so I could whisper profanities under my breath. The stewardess had been kind, making sure I had enough to drink. It seems someone had tipped them off I was pregnant, probably Michael. The guy had been a nervous wreck since he found out I was pregnant. He wouldn’t even let me train, not like he had much of a choice in what I did. But he sure knew how to annoy me out of a room. Lachlan had been supportive, talking about adding an additional room onto mine for a nursery. I told that it wasn’t necessary since I wouldn’t be staying in Scotland that long. 

After the plane landed, I was met by a very tired looking Stiles. We didn’t speak much, just began the drive back home. 

"So...." He swallowed, his eyes darted from me to the road ahead, "Pregnant," He chuckled nervously, "That-that's great! I'm so happy for you.” He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. He was hesitating, he wanted to say something else, “Uh...Speaking of-” I groaned loudly, another lecture. 

He ignored my dramatics, “Maybe you shouldn't kill him. That's not good for the baby..." 

“It wasn’t good for the baby when he decided to take our bond, step on it and rub it in the dirt.” He was silent, but not for long.

"Yeah-but you see we kinda need Derek to help with some big bads. Like Deucalion and the Darach and ya know, other stuff." 

"I remember you telling me about it. I tried to do some research but Lachlan said that we didn’t have too much information on them.” 

“Well that’s not too helpful.” 

-

We made it back to the house at sunset, which was perfect timing. The cover of night would be great to conceal me in the dark. Sure, he would smell my scent but he would have no idea where I was coming from. I pulled on the handle on the door but stared at it when it didn’t budge. Still locked. I looked back at Stiles. He looked tired, a wreck.

“Would you just... See dad before you cover yourself in blood? He was really excited to hear you were coming home.” Like he always seemed to be, Stiles’ was right. I should see Uncle Noah. 

“I will. I need to rest anyway. Besides, I can’t kill him on an empty stomach.” I winked.

“You terrify me.” He unlocked the doors. We got out just in time for Uncle Noah to jog down the driveway. 

“There she is!” He grinned, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tight. 

“I missed you so much.” I said into his shirt, giving him a soft squeeze. He pulled away and looked over me, “Look at you.” He motioned to my stomach that looked more like I was bloated than a fetus growing inside of me, “This-this is... Mhm. Exciting!” 

I chuckled, “Thanks. Very mhm.” 

“Uh, you hungry?” 

“Starving.”

-

Dinner had been extremely awkward, the conversation mostly coming back to the child growing inside of me. Lots of questions from both of them. Mostly how I hadn't called. In actuality I had called approximately twenty times a day with no answer from anyone per Derek's request. Unfortunately for him, his requests were now being put on the back burner. I excused myself to my room.

My room was kept the same, I'm certain no one had been inside besides Uncle Noah. And from the ruffled blankets, maybe Stiles. Back when we were kids, we used to sneak scary movies and had to sleep in a huddled pile because we were too scared to sleep by ourselves. 

I grabbed a jacket and opened up my window, I was half way out of it when my door opened. Stiles stood in the doorway. We stared at each other for a minute. 

“I may regret saying this one day because I don’t care for Derek, but don’t kill him.” He said, “Kick the living shit out of him, sure. Get in a few punches for me. But don’t kill him. We need him.” Of course, all it took was Stiles to talk me off the murder-ledge. 

“I won’t kill him.” I smiled, “I’ll be home soon.”

-

Odds are, with the alpha pack threat Derek will have the depot protected. What he failed to remember was that the most dangerous being in the world had a key to every place in the depot. I simply walked in the front door. Almost like he was expecting me.

His scent was so strong, like the forest after it rained. It made this ball of emotion well up in my chest bringing me back to all the love and memories we had shared together. Not all the memories were life and death. They weren't all fights. Some days, Derek and I would curl up and bed and never leave, only grabbing food here and there. His smile would light up his whole face, sometimes it would even reach his green eyes and make them sparkle. When he would nap, he would lay his head on my chest and sleep, like he was finally at peace with himself and the world. That was the person I loved. 

I walked through the main room at the depot, getting to the stairs. The worst part here was the pictures, us together, the pack. I want to make the depot less abandoned and more homey for the betas to have a place to go and relax. Some of the pictures had turned heads at the photo developing counter (but I had managed to convince them that it was for a theater class). The worst part was that on my way here Boyd had been killed. If only I had been here soon, if only I had been here at all. Only two of the pack remained, Isaac and Jackson who was no longer a killer lizard thanks to Lydia. Say what you will about Peter Hale but sometimes he knew what he was talking about.  

If Derek knew I was here, he hadn’t tried to make a move. Smart. 

After wandering a bit, I finally decided to face the music. I found him hunched over his desk in the main office room. Rain was dancing against the fluorescent lights from the street lamps down below. He hadn’t looked up at me the whole time that I walked up to him. He felt defeat and alone. He had lost everything. He was looking down at his desk, his hands laced together. He looked up slightly, more looking at my shirt than my face. 

“I...” His voice was soft and quiet, something unlike the loud, booming man I was used to, “I messed up.” 

“Yeah, you did.” It was silent for a moment, then he spoke again. 

“Who’s with you?” He asked, his eyes scanning the room. 

I narrowed my eyes at him, “No one.” 

“Then why do I hear another heart-” His eyes widened. He stared directly at my stomach. I thought I almost saw his ears perk up. 

“Are you...”

“I am. I’m having a baby. Emphasis on the ‘I’m’.” I really hadn’t wanted to do much talking, I really hadn’t planned on saying anything besides obscenities and screaming at him. He stood up from the desk and quickly came around, he reached his hand out towards my stomach but I smacked it away. 

“You have no right to touch me. Especially when I can still smell her stench on you.” I scrunched up my nose and sneered. 

“Look,” He licked his lips, “I can’t give you a good answer or an excuse-”

“Good, because I don’t want one.” I glared. 

He looked at me a moment then continued, “I don’t know why I did what I did. Something just came over me. Please tell me you believe me.” He put his hand on my shoulder. 

He really should have taken a lesson out of his own book. With amazing speed, I grabbed him by the throat and threw him across the room. When he landed, my features shifted and my eyes glowed red. He groaned, holding at his waist. That’s where he had been injured in the alpha fight, it had healed but it was still sore. 

“I don’t want your apologies.” I growled, walking towards him, “I want you to feel what I felt. The pain and the suffering. The violation...” I chuckled darkly, “You know that I felt her hands on you? Touching the most private parts of your body that only I was supposed to feel. Do you know how disgusting I felt afterwards? I felt used and dirty and it wasn’t even my body.” I stepped on his chest with my boot to keep him down on the ground. He still wasn’t looking at me. I snarled, grabbing him by his shirt and shoving him against the concrete pillar he landed on. 

“Look at me!” I roared, “You broke me into a million little pieces. You didn’t answer my calls.” I punched him. 

“You kept me hidden in the dark about Erica’s death.” I hit him again. 

“You wouldn’t let my family communicate with me and when they did they couldn’t even tell me everything that was going on. I was begging to hear from someone, anyone, I was all alone!” I threw him across the room. 

“You blocked my number two months ago.” I stalked over to him, ignoring the tears running down my face, “I couldn’t even hear your voice on your goddamn voicemail!” I got down on my knees and grabbed his chin so that his eyes met mine. 

“LOOK AT ME!” I screamed, “Look what you did to me! For months you’ve been using our bond for your own strength, strength that used used to heal and have sex with another woman!” My voice was starting to crack as all the things I had thought about were coming out, “See how much my heart broke when I felt how happy you were with someone other than me.” He was finally looking at me. The worst thing though was that his eyes were full of so much love for me, that special twinkle that Peter said only happened when he looked at me. I wasn’t angry anymore, I was devastated. 

“I came here to kill you.” I sniffled, my features shifting back to normal, “I wanted to tear your heart out. But I can’t... I can’t because I love you and I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I shouldn’t have hurt you, but I want to because of what you did.” As the anger fogged cleared, I realized that I was just as bad as he was. 

“You had every right to hurt me-”

“No, I didn’t. I shouldn’t have hurt you. I’m sorry.” I looked down at my hands, “I felt so out of control. I thought I was getting better at it.” 

“You were.” Derek sat up slowly, “It’s the baby. All of your emotions are going to be heightened. More than usual.” 

“It doesn’t matter.” I made my way towards the exit, not caring that he was calling after me, running to catch up to me. I just left him there. Even when I got home and he tried to get into my window, I just ignored his pleading. What I did wasn’t right, I shouldn’t have hit him or punched him. I was just so angry and that anger clouded my vision. 

Weren’t we a pair - one cheats and the other goes into a blind rage. Perfect. 

------------

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