#I'M SO DEAD I'M COOKED I'M HUMILIATED

[crowttore]

how many rounds can dottore go before he’s trembling and shooting blanks at your mercy? does he still want you to continue— voice catching when you go to pull yourself away and he can’t help but reach for you despite the clamminess of his palms. so desperate to pull you back, to not lose the warmth that’s wrapping around him and the pleasure that’s trembling beneath his skin that only you can pull out of him! ^^; i’m just curious heh heh 🌸

I want to answer this. I really truly do. My brain won't let me. It short circuits every time I get to 'voice catching'. Literally can't deal with it. AHDKJGHSDGKSJADGKJASDJGHASKGHAKGJSDDGSHAKJSG /pos

I don't think I've ever gotten this flustered, not visibly at least. Usually it's contained to my mind being "oh ho that's nice". But this?? This had me staring with such desperation into my computer - and for such a long time - that my partner came over to ask if I was okay because apparently I'd ignored his last four questions. It's at times like these that I'm thankful for my aphantasia, I think it would straight up kill me if I could visualise this.

Vana. I'm coming for you 🫵 /lh

[whumpsday]

Kane & Jim #56: Else

Chronological masterlist / Writing order masterlist

content: recovery and lots of it, angst, sickfic, accidental emotional whump, fear of starvation, vampire whumpee, whumper turned whumpee (turned caretaker), reunions

Whumpmas in July Day 18: "Or else"

i'm sorry for being so slow with k&j chapters! i'm going to try to be quicker with them in the future. here's one people have been waiting for for a very long time!

-

“You’re sick.”

Jim blinked, taken aback. “What?”

“You’re sick,” Kane repeated, taking another sip from the bowl. One of his last bowls before he was to start finding his own elsewhere. “I can taste it.”

“What? What kind of sick? Is it serious?” Jim asked with increasing urgency. Kane could see it in his eyes: he knew fear, and he hated to see it in Jim.

He wanted more than anything to reassure him, but he couldn’t lie. “I-I don’t know?” he admitted. “I don’t know much of human illnesses. You seem… fine?”

“Shit. Shit shit shit.” Jim grabbed his coat. “I’ll be back soon. I gotta… go to the doctor, or something. Door,” he warned.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll be okay! You can’t even feel it! You’re a healthy young man!” Kane assured him, ducking into the kitchen.

“Thanks for warning me!” Jim’s voice was laden with nerves. A flash of sunlight made Kane shiver, and he only returned to the living room when it was gone.

Kane knew what this meant: Jim would likely not finish out the week. This was his last meal given. He would have to go to vampire territory tonight, or else he would have nothing to eat come tomorrow. He had to find blood tonight, or else he’d starve. He’d go back to that horrible, empty state, always wanting, always in pain.

He knew Jim wouldn’t really let that happen, but it wasn’t fair to rely on him for blood forever, either. Kane had taken enough, with and without permission. It was Jim’s turn to rest.

Still, the fear of hunger never left him. It was a part of him now, permanently, no matter how much he fed.

And this meant one thing. The thing he’d been putting off and dreading since Jim set him free.

He would have to go to vampire territory and talk to his parents. He knew already that it would not go over well. Father would be either furious or crushingly disappointed that he’d allowed himself to be humiliated by humans, and he wasn’t sure which was worse. Mother would undoubtedly be the latter. He wondered, not for the first time, if they preferred him ‘dead’.

It shouldn’t matter. He knew now that they weren’t… good people. He could see that. He had a new family of sorts, now that Jim had taken him in.

But Jim wasn’t his legal next of kin, and Jim wasn’t the one he had to ask if he wanted his money returned so he could buy blood.

He could always get a job. But it seemed ridiculous to do when he had money sitting right there, and he would likely be found by his parents at some point anyway. There was no avoiding it forever.

Kane drank the bowl down quickly.

-

It was a flu, apparently. Nothing life-threatening, but it set Jim’s anxieties alight. His parents had died of illness, he explained.

While Kane had managed to catch it early, Jim started to devolve within a few hours of arriving home.

Kane knocked on his bedroom door. “Jim? Can I come in?”

“Ugh. Yeah,” he agreed.

Carefully balancing the tray, he entered. He found Jim curled up in bed, looking miserable.

“I’ve brought you lunch.” He’d been practicing his human food skills. He was still quite afraid of the stove, so though he used it when feeling especially brave, he mainly stuck to things that didn’t require cooking. He’d written down several combinations of foods that humans found appetizing, which could often be served in between slices of bread as a ‘sandwich’.

But he needed a tray instead of a plate, because despite his strength, he simply didn’t have enough hands to carry the six cups of water circled around it.

“Lotta water,” Jim noted weakly, grabbing a glass and taking a sip when Kane brought it close. His hand shook, the liquid threatening to spill. Kane watched it close, ready to steady it in a heartbeat if Jim needed him to.

He spoke gently, like he was worried speaking too loud would break Jim in his fragile state. “...Like I’d mentioned, I don’t know much about human illness. Most of what I know comes from you. I just remember… you wanted a lot of water, last time.”

He thought about that time a lot. How he was so close to losing Jim, because he was too proud to listen.

“Ah. Yeah.” Jim wouldn’t look him in the eye. “I remember.”

Kane set the tray down. “I should have taken better care of you,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I mean–I shouldn’t have had you in the first place, but I did, and you were my responsibility, and I didn’t care for you like I should have.” A hint of tears in his eyes, he took Jim’s unusually-sweaty hand. “I’ll do better this time. Anything you need, I’ll be there.”

That earned a small smile from Jim. “Guess it isn’t so bad being waited on. ‘Specially because you can’t get sick, right?” The smile faded. “…Right?”

“I can’t,” Kane assured him. “You don’t need to worry. Just rest, and I’ll take care of anything you need.”

Jim huffed an almost-laugh. “You really changed, man.”

-

Liz did come over to visit come nightfall, which was good, since despite his promises, Kane had to leave. He didn’t like the thought of leaving Jim alone at night. He knew it made him scared, and Jim deserved to never feel afraid ever again. She brought a container of soup, a yellow liquid with colorful plants and large white orbs floating in it.

He waited, patient, until Liz emerged from Jim’s room. “Liz?”

“Hey. Thanks for looking after him,” Liz said.

“Of course!” The praise spread warmly through him. “There’s, um, something I wanted to talk to you about, if you have the time? Advice, I suppose.”

“Shoot,” she encouraged, flopping over on the couch.

Kane took a deep breath. “So, um, I assume now is a good time to start getting my own blood.”

“Yyyyeah.” Liz shot a glance to the stairs leading to Jim’s room. “I’d say that’s about right.”

“Blood… isn’t free. I have the money–had the money, but I’ve likely been assumed dead for many years. I’ll need to go to my parents to get it back,” he explained. “My parents are not kind people, I’ve come to realize.”

Liz raised an eyebrow, but politely refrained from making any comments about his former obliviousness. “You think they won’t give it back? Isn’t there, like, laws? This can’t be the first time this has happened with vampires, you guys are too good at not dying.”

“No! No, that’s not it, they’d give it back. It’s just, um, they’ll be… quite upset with me, I think. Especially my father.” He sighed. “I didn’t want to talk about it with Jim. I was worried he would feel pressured into giving me more blood than he’s comfortable with. I don’t know. It shouldn’t be as big a deal as it is. I’ve been through so much worse, I don’t understand why this is so terrifying. I suppose I’ve just never failed this badly before.”

“Hey, you made it out of five years with those monsters, alive. Bet there’s not a lot of vampires who could say that,” Liz pointed out.

“Ah, that’s just… not how Father would see it,” Kane said vaguely. Humans were supposed to be the weak ones. The fact that it took him five years to be freed, and he couldn’t even do it himself, would make him an utter embarrassment in their eyes.

And it was all because he couldn’t use persuasion. Everything they’d always believed about him, proven true.

Liz pursed her lips, lost in thought for a moment. “I don’t remember my parents that well,” she admitted. “I know yours suck pretty bad. I don’t think you have to admit more than you need to, right? Like, do they even need to know where you’ve really been? You could just make something up, for the sake of keeping the peace.”

“Make something up…” Kane murmured. He shook his head. “I’m not a very good liar. They’d see right through me. It’s fine, actually, the more I talk about it, the more I realize I’m being a bit ridiculous.” He forced a laugh. “It’s one uncomfortable conversation and then I can come back home.”

“You’ve got this.” Liz patted him lightly on the back, a modification from her usual clap she’d learned tended to scare him. “You’re tough.”

Kane certainly didn’t feel ‘tough’.

“Thank you. It was nice to at least… get it out of my system. Oh, and congratulations. Jim told me about you and Laken.”

Liz smiled. “After what happened, I just knew I had to say something, you know? If they could just be taken from me at any moment. Stuff happens. People die. I didn’t want something to happen to one of us before I could tell them how I feel.”

She stood. “I can give you one more night’s worth, maybe two. If you need some time to think about it and all.”

Kane startled. He and Liz had grown far more amicable over the past months, but he hadn’t expected this from her.

Maybe he should have. It wasn’t the first time. He thought of Jim, on that first night, vehemently denying Liz’s offer to provide blood, vowing to do it himself.

“...Thank you. That means so, so much to me. It’s alright, though. I’ll go tonight,” he decided.

“Good luck. We’ll be here when you get back,” she promised.

And that was all he really needed, in the end.

Kane got up, heading to the door with a quick glance back to make sure it was alright. For the freedom he’d earned, he hadn’t gone more than ten feet from the house since he’d returned with Laken. But of course, Liz made no move to stop him. “I’ll see you soon.”

-

The night was as beautiful as ever, even in the cool autumn air. He liked it better this way, in fact. It made it more comfortable to wear more clothing, the long pants and long sleeves and jacket he liked, especially when he ran. When he went this fast, he hardly felt the cold, and his mind was occupied elsewhere.

What if his parents made demands of him in exchange for their help? What if they expected him to return to vampire territory, to isolate himself out of the way in a socially-acceptable manner? Now that he’d tasted true companionship, he almost couldn’t bear to give it up. And what about Jim? Ever since Laken’s abduction, he’d been more scared at night. The very least Kane owed him was his protection.

His petty worries disappeared the instant he realized he could hear a vehicle coming closer.

Kane ran faster, opposite the sound. He’d likely been pushing fifty miles an hour before, and could make sixty if he tried–but he was out of practice, and the vehicle was faster.

A glance behind him showed moonlight glinting off a silver crossbow.

“I have permission!” he wailed as the off-roader gained, heart threatening to burst from his chest. This couldn’t happen, not again, no. Jim and Liz wouldn’t even think to look for him until a day had passed, a day that could easily be spent baking in the hot sun. “Liz Lieberman granted me permission to cross! Please, I didn’t do anything! Mercy!”

“Kane?” an unfamiliar voice called. The vehicle caught up to him, but there was no attack. “Oh shit, it’s you!” the driver said. “It’s so dark, I almost didn’t recognize you from the picture Laken showed us. Thanks for bringing ‘em back.”

Kane slowed, just a bit. “What?” he squeaked, tears streaming down his face.

The hunter in the passenger seat elbowed his partner, making quick movements with his hands that Kane could not understand. A signed language of some sort, he assumed. Though he didn’t know much about such things, other than that spoken orders under persuasion often didn’t work on humans who utilized it.

“Uh, my partner wants to know if you’re good? Like, you’re alright?” The driver asked. “Did we scare you? Sorry. Just, uh, you know, gotta be quick with the other guys. One second wasted and you miss ‘em, and that’s someone’s whole life, y’know.”

“Oh. Um, yes, you’d–you’d frightened me. I’m sorry.” Kane wasn’t quite sure what he was apologizing for. “Am I… free to go, sirs?”

“Yeah! Yeah, you can go… sir? Shoot, don’t let us keep you,” the hunter assured.

The one in the passenger seat made more hand-signs, waving him goodbye after. “Nice to meet you!” the other translated, finally driving away.

Kane picked up speed again and didn’t stop until he was sure he’d left the border far behind. He collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath.

He was so close to going back to the pain. If they hadn’t recognized him, he would have been skewered with silver–likely soon killed, not tortured, given they were from Liz’s guild, but still, he would have died in pain. No matter how hard he breathed, he felt like he couldn’t get enough air, and he wasn’t sure if it was that he’d been sprinting for too long or the sheer horror.

He wanted Jim. He wanted Jim to hold him and tell him everything was alright, that he was safe, that no one was going to hurt him. But Jim was miles and miles away, and could not help him here.

And he couldn’t cry on the ground forever. He was burning moonlight, and he needed blood.

Kane forced himself to his feet and wrapped his arms around him. If he squeezed his eyes tight, he could pretend he wasn’t alone, for just a moment.

After a minute like that, he started running once more.

-

By the time Kane reached his parents’ estate, he’d mostly calmed down. It was hard to feel as though hunters would ambush him out of nowhere when he went deep enough into vampire territory to see buildings and people. Any hunter here would be apprehended in seconds.

He touched the gate, brass-coated, though he knew there was silver underneath. There seemed to be some sort of electronic device attached to it, a new addition since his last visit, but he wasn’t sure how to use it. He could climb it, or simply shout, and one of the staff would likely hear him. If he wanted to be extra polite, which he did, he could simply stand here until someone came or went and ask to be let in.

And then that would be it. Kane would be standing face-to-face with his parents. He would accept Father’s ire without complaint. He’d had worse, he reminded himself, even when it came to the comparable. The hunters had spit on him while calling him worthless, ground his face into the floor while forcing him to decry himself as beneath them. It had been so much worse.

His hand shook against the gate.

You’ve really changed, man.

Had he? If he was still back here, ready to take whatever judgments his parents threw at him, debase himself and eagerly beg for their forgiveness, had he really changed? There were humans in there. Captive, hurt humans who he could never in a thousand years be able to free if he tried, locked away in their quarters. What happened to all his regrets? His vows that he would never associate with anything of the sort again?

What would he have done differently here before, if he’d realized back then everything he knew now?

Kane left.

-

It took him a bit to find it, he hadn’t been to this town before, but it wasn’t far, and he knew the address.

There was a different kind of dread this time. If he was rejected here, it might be even worse than his parents. But as he rang the doorbell, he knew this was what he had to do.

The man who answered looked almost exactly the same as the last time he’d seen him, thirteen years ago. The same dark skin, perfect hair, typically garishly-colorful shirt.

Bellamy’s eyes went impossibly wide, as though he’d seen a ghost.

“Kane?”

taglist in reblogs, chapter 57 coming july 30th :)

edit: sorry i was wrong about july 30th. it's coming thoooo i promise

@whumpmasinjuly

[fl4r3z]

"𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬, 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬."

(𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜, 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫?)

𝐘𝐮𝐮𝐭𝐚 (ゆうた) 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Smut MDNI!!, Fingering, Afab! Reader, P in V, Blood, Vaginal Sex, Yuta eating Reader out, Yuta cumming inside, Dead body, Cannibalism, Dismembered body parts (not readers), Yuta is his own warning, Jealous! Yandere! Yuuta.

𝐀/𝐍: Now, please let me know if i missed any warnings! I tried making this days ago but got mad cause i couldn't make the text centered... Here it is!!!

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭? 𝐘𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐞𝐬.

You've been dating Yuta for over a week now. Right now, you're outside of his apartment, waiting for him to open up as you rang the door bell. He didn't know you were coming over today, nor was he prepared. You plan on making it a suprise to make it more romantic, right?

Yuta got the door and he was surprised to see you on his doorstep.

"(Name)? I thought we talked about how i was going to your apartment later in to the day?" Yuta is now looking at you with a confused look.

"Well...i got impatient because you know..! It's you we're talking about!" You said excitingly as you went inside his apartment and plopped into his couch, acting like you were home. "Sorry, did i disturb you?"

"No, of course not! I'm happy to see that you're here! " Yuta exclaims as he walks over to you. Well inside he just knows that he's so happy that you were beside him. So, so, so happy. "I was trying to catch up on my cooking skills but, eh.. i tried cooking fried egg and well.... Please don't mind the mess. "

You giggled. "Is that why it's that messy in here?" You're now looking at him slightly giggling. You weren't entirely sure what to do now that you're in his house—you were just waiting for his reponse or waiting till he gets an idea of what to do.

"Well- Yeah..you should've atleast let me knew you were going- it's embarrassing for you to see the mess i made..." He feels humiliated, who knows why? Maybe he's just so shy that even his apartment being messy leads him to a blushing mess.

You absolutely think he looks so, so cute flustered and red.— "Do you think we should...go to the cafe? It's a new one, just right across here. " Yuta asked. " And to also avoid my messy apartment! Eheh.. " It was starting to sound confusing on why he hates seeing the mess on his apartment so much. Maybe he just thinks it's humiliating? Right? WRONG.

"Great idea! Yuta you're amazing when it comes to planning! You should definitely just plan out my whole life" You laugh while trying to put your shoes on.— Yuta on the other hand, he'd definitely love planning out your whole life. He'd love you obeying all his orders. Everything. He didnt think it was a bad idea generally, he thought it was the best.

As you guys stepped outside, you both started walking through the sidewalk. "Hmm, what do you usually order in cafe's, Yuta?" You looked at him.

"Well, i like trying out different things. Usually to find out which is best, so anything sounds good!" He knew you'd offer him your favorite, he wanted to know it. So that he could pin it to his headboard and get it for you everyda—.

"You should definitely try out (favorite coffee/order)! It tastes absolutely amazing!" You said happily. He knew it, you were gonna tell him your favorite. Now he has a new favorite drink.

If you search up on the internet "people who decides with other persons decisions" you'd see a picture of Yuta if you clicked images. Yuta thinks that whatever you like, he must like. Even if he has to force himself into doing it. That's just how much he loves you!

You guys entered the cafe, and the smell of coffee filled both of yours noses. You both picked a seat, got each others orders, and you went to the cashier.

Yuta was following you with his eyes everywhere you go. Eventually, you end up into the cashier, handing over the orders.— Yuta didn't fail to notice that the cashier who was talking to you was, a guy. Now, that definitely brought up something from inside of him.

He knows why he's acting like this, and was trying to secure himself to not kill him infront of you. Of course! Who wants to see someone you love with your whole heart kill someone infront of you, right?! That would definitely ruin everything.

It's been 6 minutes. He was glaring bullets into the persons head. He's mad, especially now that he noticed that the person was hitting up on you. You eventually got back to your seat, you didn't fail to notice that Yuta was looking down at the table.

"Yuta? Are you okay? Did something happen?" You asked him, slightly tapping his shoulder.

"The guy, was he hitting up on you?" He asked, trying to contain his anger. But he probably didn't do it correctly, cause you knew he was mad.

"Yes he was, but Yuta, you don't have to worry! I rejected him and told him i already had someone..he even wrote his number on the recei-" You stopped when Yuta grabbed the receipt off your hands. Leaving you with a shocked impression.

That was what happened 2 days ago, when everything wasn't wrong yet.

In front of you, was the persons dead body. Inside of Yuta's kitchen, it was dark, only the light of the kitchen was glimming, the rest were off. His hands, legs, and arms were gone. Everything was a bloody view. It was horrifying.

Behind you was Yuta, he was giggling and speaking like all these, were normal to him. You were horrified, you were trembling.

"See (Name)....? This is what happens when someone other than me gives you attention. Have you learned..?" he was approaching you, your heart was pounding so fast. You were scared. "Please, don't be scared! I won't do anything to you!"

You were silent, not letting a single word drop. He approached you, hugging you from behind. "You love me, right? Right (Name)?"

Silence.

"Of course! D-dont hurt me..please...I promise, i love you, Yuta!" You weren't lying though, you loved Yuta. Even if he just killed someone.

"G-great! I love you too, (Name).." he started slipping the strap of your dress from your shoulders. "And, if i ever find out that you're lying..Then," he pulled a sharp knife. "I'll kill you, okay? So you better not be lying..it would be a shame to kill someone like you."

You felt cold sweat running down your neck. Just from the tone of his voice, he doesn't seem like he was lying. "Yes, i promise, i love you.."

"Then you'd let me help you prove that it's true?" He said whilst reaching for your tits, now he doesn't care if it was big or not, he would love groping it.

"... Yes."

Now you were laying on his couch, naked. He was sucking your tits like a baby who was starved. Playing with the other nipple, flicking it and squeezing it.

"Will you give me all of you?" He was on top of you, his voice was low but was loud enough for the both of you to hear. You could feel his erection as he pressed his body on you. He wanted, no, he needed to hear your response.

Your legs were in heat and you were sweating so hard.

"yes, please..just please... " You muttered into his touch.

"See, you dont need anyone else. You only need me, I'll give you everything. Everything you need." His voice was hitching.

You felt his mouth onto your neck to your lower abdomen, giving you trails of kisses. He positioned himself between your legs, raising one leg then diving his mouth into your pussy, earning a loud gasp from you.

"Holy shit, Yuu..." You throw your head back from the pleasure.

Now all his stalking ability would be used. The way he'd watch you from your window, fingering yourself, doing all sorts of things to relieve yourself. He knows everything, from how to make you overstimulated, how to make you orgasm, and on how long you'd last.

He pulls away from your pussy, his mouth and chin covered in your slick. "You taste so good, (Name).."

He rhen positioned you near the couches hand guide, earning a suprised gasp from your lips.—He then unzips his pants, pulling his aching hard dick. You couldn't help but think on how that would've fit you! It was wayyy bigger than any other you'd saw.

"Don't worry (Name).. it'll fit.. I'll make it fit." Yuta murmured. He directed his tip on the entrance of your hole, pressing it. He puts his index finger in mouth.

Yuta carefully puts his dick inside your pussy, earning a breathy moan from you.

"s'tight (Name).." He starts pulling it out, then pushes it in again, and again, and again! You swear you could feel it growing inside of you. It just felt too good.

"g'nna mold your pussy, yeah?" He sounds like his voice was about to give up. He's so painfully hard for you. "(Name) pleaseplease" you could hear him starting to moan and whimper.

You were a moaning mess, covered in sweat, and your whole body was heating. You felt like you were about to orgasm any second now. It just felt so amazing, he's rutting himself so hard and fast inside you.— You bet your insides were bruised by the next day.

"Holy shit Yuu!" You were slowly feeling your orgasm chase closely.

"g'nna cum (Name)..!" Yuta was whimpering beyond this point, he couldn't tell what was going on anymore, his brain was dead. All he could think about was ruining you and fucking you so deep that he'd cum inside and paint your walls.— "S'close" was the only thing you could hear from him.

"g'nna cum inside you, yeah? Pleaseplease let me (Name)!" Yuta begs you with a high pitched voice.

"pleasepleaseplease!" He cums inside. You were both panting, sighing, and breathing so heavily. Yuta pressed his lips onto yours, sharing saliva's.

"(Name)..could you help me hide the body..?" Yuta asked you willingly and nervous.

"What?! What if we get caught?? We're going to ja-" Yuta cuts you off.— "Don't worry about that now!" He places the body into an abnormally huge sack.

"where's the other body parts?!?" You asked him nervously and scared. — " well uhm.. " he hums.

"well?!"— "(Name),— do you remember the pie that i gave you?"

You felt yourself about to vomit.

©fl4r3z all projects belong to me.

[finniestoncrane]

Kink Dialogue Prompts - If you fancy, any of the following with Egon Spengler (Receiving?) :3c:

🌱 Virginity, 🥇 First Time, ✏️ Marking/Bititng, 🩺 Doctor RP (Giving), 🔴 Humiliation

Experimental Methods

Egon Spengler x Female!Reader, word count: 3.5k HELLO!? finally another excuse to write nasty again for egon, my fuckin beloved ;-; also i have been COOKING this one and it got away from me so it is LONG lmao mostly because i didn't realise you said any of and not all of the prompts oops and then i also added in prem.ejac. my actual beloved👻 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: medical kink, losing virginity, marking kink, humiliation kink, premature ejaculation

The walk from the elevator to your apartment door at the end of the hall felt like it took an eternity, definitely down to the dead silence between you and Egon which had been ongoing since the moment you left the restaurant down the block. He was often quite quiet once a date had ended, but this was different. There was a distinctly awkward air to the way he shuffled uncomfortably along beside you, and the soft sigh he had let out as he agreed to walk you to your door didn't exactly settle your nerves. That discomfort in the pit of your stomach was only exacerbated by the way he avoided all eye contact once you had placed the key in the lock, and stood, turned to him, as you held the door ajar. "Egon, I think you should come in so we can talk."

"Talk?"

"Mhm."

You nodded solemnly as you headed inside. He was a sweet man, very kind, very straight to the point. Besides the very limited bursts of anger you had seen him display at questioning skeptics and otherwise disinterested city officials, you couldn't imagine him wanting to harm anyone. So you had to be the one to broach the subject, since it seemed like he never would.

Once inside, you watched him make his way to the sofa, sitting on the very edge with his hands placed on his knees, palms rubbing nervously at the woolen fabric. When you were sitting beside him, you could hear his shallow breathing and the sound of him swallowing his nerves. As much as you were apprehensive about this converation, it spurred you on to know you were putting him out of his misery.

"Look, Egon. I know you're a sweet guy, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable just so you don't hurt my feelings. If you don't want to see me anymore in a... romantic way... then we don't have to."

"What?"

"We can meet for coffee or go out for food alone or with other people, but as friends, y'know?"

"Yes. That is generally something we can do. I appreciate your time, and for being so forward with your feelings. If there's anything I can do to change your mind then-"

You raised your hands up, shaking your head in confusion.

"Wait, wait, wait. Change my mind? I... I'm not breaking up with you, Egon. I'm making it easier for you to break up with me."

His face was blank, except for the slight hint of confusion, and you could almost hear the gears of his mind grinding away as he puzzled over where you got the notion that he might want to break up with you. It didn't take him long though. He wasn't oblivious. The evidence was definitely piling up, although the intentions behind it had been lost in translation.

"I don't want to break up with you. I enjoy spending time with you. We share a lot of the same attributes in common and you are extremely tolerable of any discussions about my various interests."

"How romantic."

You smiled, emphasising the playful tone of your slight dig.

"And of course, I find you attractive. Very appealing, physically as well as emotionally and intellectually. Which is precisely the problem."

Egon sat in silence for a few moments, as though he expected you to psychically glean what he meant by that statement, waiting on your response. But when it was apparent that you had none, he took a deep breath and continued.

"This is our fifth date. I expect that you'll want to have sexual relations, or at least some form of physical contact beyond what we've experienced thus far."

Your eyes widened, surprised by how blunt he was, if not more technical or formal than you expected, and you stumbled over your words.

"I, uh... w-well, that would be nice! But, if that's not your thing then of course we don't have to."

Shocking you both, he abruptly removed his hand from his own leg and placed it on your knee, both of you looking at it before he snatched it back.

"I want to, of course. But, speaking openly, I haven't ever experienced that. Yet. With anyone."

In absolute disbelief, you blinked as your body moved backwards a little, your nose twitching, raising your mouth in a curious and surprised sneer.

"You're a virgin? You. Are a virgin. You?"

"Does that factual statement require this much questioning?"

"A little bit, yeah! I mean... I would've been all over you four dates ago if you'd seemed a bit more at ease with it. I don't know how you've gone forty years without someone-"

He interrupted you with a slight frown, lips pursed as he waved you off before he spoke.

"I've spurned a few advances, but believe it or not, there's something about my personality that other find rather..."

"Abrupt. Formal. Disinterested?"

Egon nodded in agreement, very well aware that you used the words with no hint of criticism or negativity, but rather truthfully, and, oddly enough to him, with an almost loving tone.

"And yet you find those attributes appealing."

"Of course! They come in a very nice package."

You leaned into him, placing your hand on his thigh, squeezing it gently between your fingers as you edged closer to him on the sofa. He watched your fingers moving, eyes closing as he took in the sesation of the touch. Even that smallest gesture was enough to excite him. Your hand, moving further up his long, slender leg, fingers tensing into the muscle and releasing their grip as your palm snaked higher and higher, closer and closer.

"Oh, ok. You definitely are interested then..."

It was impossible not to notice the distinct bulging at the front of his slacks, and you felt immediately bad for pointing it out, but Egon smiled, nervously adjusting his glasses and clearing his throat.

"I wouldn't have lied to you. Besides, I knew the biological response would betray me eventually. I'm only lucky to have gone this long with the problem arising, for want of a better word."

Taking stock of the situation, you considered the next steps. You didn't want to rush him, by any means, but you didn't want to let the opportunity go to waste. An intimate conversation could lead to a more intimate encounter, and that was definitely what you had been hoping for tonight.

"Egon, we can do whatever you want tonight. You can go home, with no hard feelings, and we can continue dating and wait until you're ready. Or we can give it a go. If you want to stop, we can. But I think this could be a nice experience for us, as a... couple. Let me guide you through this. I'll be very gentle, unless of course you tell me otherwise."

His face lit up with a warm smile, clearly in appreciation of your gentle offer and your efforts to make light of what was most definitely an awkward conversation. Still, though, he seemed too nervous to speak much, so the ball was once again in your court.

"Ok, so... is it the skills involved that are causing you problems? Or...?"

"I suppose so, but like most other things, you gain experience with practice..."

Your stomach flipped in excitement, a heat prickling over your skin at the notion that you might be involved in this practice.

"... It's an area I haven't really been involved with before. It's not as though you're something to study, to examine and figure out."

"That's... exactly what it's like, actually."

"Hm."

"I mean, that's what it could be. If that makes things easier for you. Maybe a little bit of roleplay, putting you in a position of control that you're familiar with... maybe that would make it a bit easier for you?"

Egon paused for a moment, considering your suggestion with a hopeful look, nodding silently before he spoke.

"Your hypothesis is intriguing, and I do think it would be beneficial to at least test it in an experiment before we rule it out completely as a possible solution. If... if you're sure...?"

Placing your hand over his, you squeezed it, reassuringly, as you leaned in to him.

"It's a new experience, yes. But don't worry, I'll help you through it... Doctor."

His eyes lit up, a fire suddenly burning in the pit of his stomach. Standing from the sofa, he took your hand and brought you up to him. Egon's eyes flitted towards the door to your bedroom.

"In that case then, please come with me and we can begin this examination."

You reached for his hand, hoping he'd guide you romantically to the privacy of your bedroom, but he was already fast ahead of you, his long limbs gaining the distance with his wide strides as you hurried excitedly into the room behind him.

"Now, if you'll lie back on the bed, please, and take a deep breath. Let me take care of you. I'm sure that whatever is wrong, I can provide some assistance."

Obedient, and with a level of excitement you weren't afraid to show, you bounced onto the mattress and laid back, inhaling and exhaling slowly and carefully as you listened to Egon pacing around the bed, finding the best place to conduct his examination. Standing on your right, looking down at you, you watched as he procured a small notepad and almost pointlessly short pencil from the inside pocket of his suit jacket.

"I think we should begin by noting the first examples you found of paranormal occurrences. Were the internal or external?"

Narrowing your eyes in confusion, you tried to think of an answer to the question, but before you could find a suitable one he had moved on to the next.

"If neither of those are pertinent to your experience, can you tell me if you had any sensations or evidence of being posessed?"

"What? Egon, what are you talking about?"

Blinking twice, he lowered himself to you, bending at the hip, and whispering in a lower voice as though he were trying not to break the roleplay experience.

"This is my area of expertise. The paranormal. I am examining you as a doctor of such, so... are you experiencing anything paranormal?"

Quickly catching on, you mustered up a few symptoms for him to use in his diagnosis.

"Oh... uh... yes! Well, Doctor Spengler, the reason I came to see you is that I've had a strange onset of problems, ones no ordinary doctor could diagnose. I think you might be my only hope now."

Reaching out, you took his hand in yours and squeezed, looking at him with wide, pleading eyes.

"And what might these symptoms be?"

"Well, I'm not sure if they're all related, but I do know that I've been feeling very irritable lately. Completely exhausted and filled with stress and tension. It's like there's something inside of me that I just need to get out, something that's controlling my behaviour."

"It sounds like you might need a formal adjuration addressed to the demonic presence that has decided to utilise you as its host."

"I need a what?"

"In layman's terms, an exorcism."

"Ah! Wow, that sounds very serious, Doctor Spengler."

The way you spoke his name, each consonant, each syllable, lingering on your lips and tongues, lustful and seductive, had him clearing his throat and swallowing the building, shaking nerves that it conjured.

"It can be. Could you detail when you feel these symptoms for me?"

"Hm... they mostly surface when I'm around my boyfriend. He's real neat, I think you'd like him. He's so intelligent, so sweet, and he's super hot."

"Ahem... he sounds, delightful."

"You don't think the demon, or whatever is inside of me, is targeting him, do you, Doctor Spengler?"

You forced a concerned pout onto your lips, looking up at Egon through your batting eyelashses as you watched him try to recover from not only the insinuation that he was hot, but that you considered him to be your boyfriend.

"I see... then I believe that perhaps this is not anything paranormal but very natural. I think a release of tension, of a more physical or... coital nature, is the required prescription here."

With his cheeks flushing at the mere mention of sexual activity, Egon adjusted his glasses once more as he avoided eye contact with you.

"Oh, thank you, Doctor Spengler! So... what should I do about this predicament? Do you think you could maybe administer the correct dosage for me? Perhaps we can do the procedure here?"

The deep red blush seeped further across Egon's skin, his pupils wider than you'd seen them before. Quickly, and with no attempt to do so discreetly, he moved his hands down in front of him, holding the notepad strategically in front of his pants.

"Are you hiding something down there, Doctor Spengler?"

Egon stuttered, dropping the note pad before bending to catch it swiftly, the tent at the front of his slacks visible for only a brief moment, but long enough that you could ascertain what he was working with below the tweed and formality.

"I-I-I'm... I-it's... I apologise, I didn't mean to rush things by getting ahead of myself. This is embarrassing."

"Oh, come on, Egon! You know as well as I do that it's a natural reaction. If you're going to be ashamed of anything, I would say it should be how easy it was to get you as flustered as you are... I mean look at your cheeks! Tell me... is any other part of you blushing pink?"

The silence was almost deafening, and he was once again unable to look into your eyes. Fearing you had taken it a little too far in your taunting, given it was his first time, you were quick to apologise, sitting up on the bed and holding his arm. But he brushed you off, working on his nervous habit of fiddling with the legs of his glasses as he replied.

"No need to apologise, I'm just quietly reconciling the facts. Yes, it was embarrassing, but your taunting made it worth it. It definitely played a fact in the increase in arousal, it would be a fascinating thing to study if I had any spare time. I'd even suggest that we experiment with that more this evening, but I'm worried it might lead to a quick conclusion to our combined efforts if the external stimuli is too... well, stimulating."

"How about we just remember that you're into it and add it to our list, hm?"

"We have a list?"

You eased yourself up onto your knees on the bed, holding on to the lapels of Egon's suit jacket as you watched his Adam's apple bob, his chest rising and falling as your hands soothed over his body.

"Now we do."

Your lips met his in a soft, interlocking embrace, with Egon catching on quickly after a sharp inhale. You could feel his smile against yours as the passion deepened, his hands falling to your sides as he held you steady as you balanced yourself against his surprisingly sturdy frame. Letting out a deep sigh as his hands curled around you, his palms flat against your spine as he stroked up and down, you found yourself leaning into him more, fingers pressing into the back of his neck as you kept him kissing you.

One of your hands pushed into his thick, tight curls as the other drifted back around and down his front, your fingers skirting over the buckle of his belt and hooking just below it, tugging his hips towards you. He came easily, putting up no resistance to your desire to have him closer to you.

Egon's breath haltered as he watched you in stunned silence, your fingers expertly, and quickly, unbuckling his belt and slowly, deftly, unzipping his pants. Looking up to him to make sure he was still on board, you caught his eyes, pupils wide, behind the slightly fogged lenses of his glasses. In response to the question you hadn't asked yet, you caught out of your peripheral the slight twitch of his cock, waiting impatiently for your touch.

As seductively as you could, you pulled his slacks down slightly, enough that you could hook your thumbs into the waistband of his white, y-fronts, watching as more of his cock was revealed until it sprang over the top.

He was an impressive length, and a thickness you could get used to with some practice. Looking at it, you considered that was probably why he so often wore looser slacks, given there was a lot for him to attempt to conceal. Without even realising it, you had begun to lick your lips, trying not to drool over yourself. So, to satiate your growing hunger, you wrapped your palm around the base of his length and began to stroke it.

Your movements were gentle, not too slow but not too fast. You were sure he had experienced some level of physical intimacy before, and he couldn't have gone forty years without some level of masturbation. Surely... but there was always a chance...

Either way, your ministrations against his thickening length had it pulsing and throbbing against the flat of your hand as you dragged it up and down, stroking his cock in rhythym with his breathing and matching the pace of his subconscious and almost imperceptible thrusting.

Despite having a grown man under your power, you were still preoccupied with his comfort, worried that you were moving things too quickly. So to counter your concerns, and keep things as pleasant as possible for you both, you took to looking deep into his eyes, past the lenses of his round frames. It was a piercing stare, one that was uncomfortable for only a moment before it deepened the intimacy, letting you see him in a completely new light as his jaw hung open and his tongue lapped at the air. You couldn't help but smile back at the lopsided grin he wore, your heartbeat unsteadied by the mere suggestion that you were making him happy.

A small, sultry giggle escaped your throat, and Egon groaned in reply, bucking his hips forward,standing on tiptoe and shuddering as he balanced himself back onto his heels again. Only when you felt the cooling of the warm liquid spread over your fingers did you realise what had happened.

With a quick glance down, you could see the last threads of cum spilling ont your hand from the flushed, pink head of Egon's cock. Drops and strands dripped down your knuckles, and as you loosened your grip, the action accompanied by a soft whimper from Egon, you fought the urge to lick your hand clean. There would be opportunities in the future to taste him, right now the priority was to assuage the concern you could see growing on his furrowed brow. You could feel your own underwear soaking in arousal at the idea of pushing Egon to climax so quickly, but he didn't seem to feel the same.

Looking to him, your mischievous grin was quickly contorted into an easy, comforting smile as you stood up and quickly kissed him. If your lips were firm against his, then there was no qay he could finish the entirely unnecessary apology that he was trying to make for what he felt was a speedy response to your touch. Resting your forehead against his, and letting his large nose press into yours, you pulled away from the deep kiss, a slowing tirade of softer ones following it until you were sure he would be quiet.

"It's ok, honestly. There's no need to apologise."

"Are you sure? I'd hate to be a disappointment."

"Hardly! In fact..."

You punctuated each word with a kiss, covering his cheeks, his chin, his neck and his collarbone in them.

"... I think it was pretty hot having that kind of power over you."

When you moved your lip back over his neck, you allowed your teeth to graze across his skin before sinking them in, closing your lips over and sucking at him, feeling his flesh warm in your mouth and delighting in the wet, smacking sound as you let go. With your drool settling in a strand against him, you bit your lip, suddenly a little embarrassed by the very forward nature of the bite. You waited for Egon's approval, or disapproval, of the flurry of affection, giggling when he finally spoke.

"To clarify, that bite was a positive response, yes?"

"Of course! I just wanted to... mark my territory. This way, whenever someone looks at you, they'll know you belong to someone. Just in case anyone else gets any ideas about being your first before I can get to you again."

Egon's fingers twitched, reachign instinctively in that recognisable flustered action to adjust his glasses, one side of his mouth lifted into a coy, but satisfied grin.

[odditycircus-2002]

Mortal Kombat 1 Intros Part IV

A/N: I'm a fan of The Boys and have been watching the newest episodes of season 4. Of course, I love to hate Homelander, and it's satisfying to watch fatalities performed on him in Mortal Kombat 1 after watching him perform heinous crap. This led me to watch his intros and then other Mortal Kombat character intros, and inspiration hit! So I hope y'all like this.😁

Oh! And for those of you that are new, the reader here is a Gorgon, meaning snake hair and wears a mask since they can turn people into stone. They also happen to be an Imperial Healer with a bit of a dark side. Hope that helps!😁

Batch I

Batch II

Batch III

Homelander

Y/N: You are not a god. You’re simply, bad product.

Homelander: You’ll be praying to me for mercy soon enough.

/

Y/N: Why should I give you respect when it’ll only go to the bottomless gaping pit of insecurity you call a soul?

Homelander shivers sarcastically: Should I be intimidated by you?

/

Y/N thoughtfully: Perhaps a virus is in order...

Homelander scoffs: A God is above something so insignificant to him.

/

Homelander: What's with the ridiculous mask? Are you trying to cosplay as some D-List Supe?

Y/N: Why don't you take it off and find out?

/

Homelander: Pray to all the “gods” you want, you won’t survive against me.

Y/N: Why assume that I pray to any of them?

/

Homelander incredulously: You actually want to fuck that disgusting freak?!

Y/N with snakes out ready to bite: Unlike you, Baraka doessssn't fill me with revulsion at the sight of him!

Omni-Man

Y/N: One look and this should be over, fast.

Omni-Man: I'll break your neck before you can even get a peek at me.

/

Y/N: Having been betrayed by a cccccharlatan lover before, I know your wife would want you dead.

Omni-Man angrily: You're not her, so your point means nothing.

/

Y/N cautiously: Your medicine could treat Tarkat?

Omni-Man: If you comply and pledge your allegiance to the Empire, all your patients may receive Viltrum care.

/

Omni-Man: You have stupidly condemned your patients to death!

Y/N: I would rather have my heart ripped out than be fooled twiccccce by a charlatan!

/

Omni-Man: Think it over; what will you have serving a diseased ruler and others with her plague for 500 years?

Y/N: I will have no regrets pursuing my lifelong dream.

/

Omni-Man: I'll rip your damn head off in under a minute.

Y/N ominously: Rest assured, this fight will be a real Scourge.

Raiden

Y/N: Are you aware that Madam Bo's special tea is local around my canton?

Raiden: How in the world did she acquire it then?

/

Y/N: I would’ve paid all the koins in Outworld to have seen you absolutely humiliate Shao.

Raiden: I sense you and him never got along.

/

Y/N: I can confidently say that you’re healing up nicely since we fought the Dragon Army.

Raiden: I’m not sure I would’ve survived without your medical care.

/

Raiden: It must be hard being The Colony's lead Healer.

Y/N: Everyone who dies under my care is a blow to my soul.

/

Raiden: Why is there a statue of Kung Lao in the Wu Shi’s Courtyard?

Y/N shrugs: Kung Lao mentioned how he always wanted a statue of himself.

/

Raiden: You’re very different from how your Titan self acts.

Y/N shivers in disgust: I should thank Liu Kang for not having me predestined for Shang Tsung.

/

Raiden: You only have yourself to blame for missing your chance with Y/N.

Shang Tsung chuckles: You say that as if I don’t still have a chance to win them back.

Kung Lao

Y/N: So far, I don’t see any signs of Tarkat but there’s still a chance you could spread it without apparent symptoms.

Kung Lao: You are not putting my mind at ease, at all.

/

Y/N: You’re inviting me? I don’t even know if I’m able to stomach regular food anymore.

Kung Lao: It would be a crime if you didn’t get to try Madam Bo’s cooking at least once!

/

Y/N: How did you not loose any fingers when you first made that hat???

Kung Lao smugly: Through much practice and much skill

/

Kung Lao: I beaten you in our last fight, so what will change here?

Y/N mischievously: This time, I’m not holding back.

/

Kung Lao: Can you believe that the Wu Shi have a trap dungeon?

Y/N hisses in amusement: Who knew the Shaolin were so diabolical?

/

Kung Lao: You and Baraka aren’t a couple???

Y/N sighs wistfully: How I wish that to be true…

/

Baraka: I don’t always understand what Y/N sees in me.

Kung Lao: You definitely have something more than Shang Tsung.

Kenshi

Y/N: I am sorry I couldn't have saved your sight.

Kenshi: You did the best anyone could in that situation.

/

Y/N: What is it like using Sento to see?

Kenshi: It’s like when you stare at a flame and look away, you see the light of the flame even though it’s gone.

/

Y/N: According to Earthrealm myths, the closest to describing my current form is a “Gorgon”.

Kenshi: Perhaps that’s because there have been other gorgons before.

/

Kenshi: I don’t know Y/N, that seems a bit excessive even by the Yakuza’s standards.

Y/N: You and Kitana think a bit of food tampering is too much.

/

Kenshi in surprise: You and Shang Tsung weren’t just lab partners?

Y/N angrily: I was a fool to fall for his charmssss in the first place!

/

Kenshi: Given how you both act around one another, I'm surprised you and Baraka aren't together.

Y/N: I'm grateful to have him in my life.

/

Kenshi: The Colony is fortunate to have you and Y/N.

Baraka: I thank Deliah every day for sending them my way.

[clovermarigold]

Late Night Snacks

Various Valorant characters x Reader

Clove, Cypher, Yoru,

Props to anyone who recognizes this reference.

might do a pt.2 if people are interested

pt.2

You really needed to fix your sleep schedule. You swear agreeing to that night mission was a terrible idea. Then again, you would likely be in the same situation if you hadn't. Going to bed before the early hours of the morning was just never your thing.

You used to joke about being a creature of the night, but now you were starting to think it was truer than you'd like.

It didn't help that in your endless doom scrolling you had come across a video that left you with an insatiable craving for the perfect snack. So here you were at 4 am, moving as slowly, quietly, and gently as possible through the kitchen trying not to wake anyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clove- Chocolate pudding (romantic)

"Is it burning? I can't tell if it's burning or if I'm just sleep deprived" you whispered to yourself, stirring carefully to decipher if the clumps you felt were burnt pudding or powder you didn't mix well.

"What are you doing?" you dropped your wooden spoon, looking up to see someone staring at you.

"Clove?! What are you doing up?" They gave you a lopsided grin stepping into the kitchen to peer into your pot, "Eh, mostly watching cooking videos. Looks like I can watch the real thing though".

"I'd hardly call this cooking" they give you a look. "What would ya call it then?".

"Ugh... I don't know, something along the lines of making instant noodles or microwaving a hotpocket" you slowly returned to mixing the pot, growing more comfortable with your guest audience.

"The hells a hotpocket?" you immediately dropped your spoon "Oh we are getting you a hotpocket! It's like a calzone but a cheap frozen version that burns the roof of your mouth when you eat it". They laughed, "Sounds terrible, I'm in".

They watched carefully as you poured the chocolate into two separate bowls along with a spoon, "Are ya sure? I don't want to take yer late-night snack... or would it be morning?".

"It's fine, pack made too much for one person anyways" you blew on the spoonful in your hand before taking a bite. "If ya don't mind me asking. Why puddin?" you snorted a little, remembering the meme that had inspired your insomnia plagued kitchen raid.

"Because I've lost control of my life" their eyes shot open before realizing you were joking. "Righty then" they smiled, joining you in eating as you sat on the kitchen counter and ate. Something Brimstone or Sage would no doubt scold you for if they were awake.

You swear the joke about being the 'parents' of the protocol were serious. "You know you should probably get some sleep" If you couldn't save your own sleep schedule, the least you could do would be to save theirs.

"Eh, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Can't say the same for you" you look away embarrassed. It was humiliating enough to be caught in your pjs making pudding because of a meme you saw at 4 in the morning.

"Ya know... I'm usually up pretty late too. If you're havin' a hard time falling asleep. You could always hang out with me in mah room" honestly, that sounded nice.

"I'd like that" you both smiled at each other, accidentally staring too long. Damn in! you looked away quick. That was awkward. It wasn't your fault they were cute. It was definitely the sleep deprivation. Nothing else. No other possible feelings or thoughts. No siree.

"What the hell are you two doing up!? Is that pudding?" A half asleep and grumpy neon walked into the kitchen. "Scatter!" Clove yelled running towards their room, hand wrapped around your wrist dragging you close behind, giggling. Eh, sleep is for the weak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cypher- Tea & Crackers (Platonic or Romantic)

Lavender. Thats what the internet said the best tea was to help you fall asleep. You had tried everything else, warm milk, hot shower, counting sheep, etc. You looked at the stove's clock and groaned at the painful looking 4 am. You had a mission tomorrow, so you needed as much sleep as you could possibly get. Your brain didn't seem to understand that and fought you every step of the way.

The kettle let out a sharp whistle pulling you from your daze. Shit! Why did you think it was a smart idea to make tea at such an ungodly hour. You quickly moved the kettle off the burner.

You rubbed your eyes with a groan, hoping that didn't wake anyone. A high-pitched whir caught your attention. A camera? It looked like one of Cyphers.

The camera zoomed on your fresh pot before darting to the cup cabinet. "Uh ok" you opened the cabinet grabbing a mug and going to close it, only for the camera to move wildly.

"Oh, I get it" you moved to grab a second mug, pouring two drinks alongside a plate of tea crackers. The camera began to shake up and down, lens zooming and Un-zooming like an excited puppy.

"Ok buddy" you laugh, "Where is he?''. It gave a sharp turn to the left instructing you out of the kitchen, only to see another camera ushering you in another direction. You forgot how many cameras he had. Finally finding yourself in a shipping container on base you knocked lightly, "Come in".

"Ah" Cypher let out a pleased hum swiveling in his chair to face you, the army of monitors illuminating the room. You yawned, handing over the warm cup into his greedy hands. "ohoho" he chuckled to himself, "Now this is just the treat I needed. Too bad it's decaf".

"Why are you still up Cypher?" you asked through blurry eyes. "I could ask the same of you my dear" he turns back to his monitors, fidgeting with what you could only guess was lens sensitivity? You've owned maybe one camera in your life.

"Suffering" is said bluntly, followed by a long sip of tea. Why wasn't this working. "Hmm" He looked away from his screens to give you a once over that made you a little self-conscious, given your messy and sleep deprived state. He stood up before ushering you to sit in his chair, "What are you doing?".

"Just giving a helping hand" reaching under his desk he pulled out a blanket, too thin for your liking but it got the job done in covering you. Something told you it wasn't used often enough.

"I don't think-" he cut you off before exiting the crate, "Just sit down". From your seat you could watch him take the same path you did through the cameras to the kitchen, pouring another mug with the last of the hot water and making his way back.

"Lavender is good. Buuut, chamomile is better" the warm cup was swapped for the fresh new one. "What are you doing?" you take a cautious sip as he changes his monitors.

"Just a little trick I used to do with my- ...... Someone I used to know", well that was cryptic. The light sound of crashing waves surrounded you as white noise played from the screens surrounding you. With a light pressure Cypher rocked the chair.

"Really? Now I'm a baby?" it wasn't really insulting, but you had to admit it made you feel a bit childish. "There's a reason it works on them. Don't you think?" you had to admit, your eyes were starting to feel heavy, the soft padding on the chair was heavenly. It must have costed a ton, either that or he definitely stole it from Brim's office. Probably the latter.

In a matter of minutes your mind couldn't fend off the urge to rest, and you slipped into unconsciousness with relative ease. Cypher watched over you for a moment, making sure you were fully asleep before stopping his motions.

Just like he remembered, first they're fussy and then they're out. It hurt a bit, if he was being honest. But it also felt...good. Like it was healing a part of him. The part of him he lost with his family.

Nothing could ever replace them, he knew that. But that didn't mean he couldn't move forward. And if helping you sleep did that, you could stay on his chair every night. He'd just need to buy some more chamomile the next time he went out

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoru- Instant Ramen

You were definitely going to go deaf at some point with how loud you blasted music. But hey, you were using headphones, so it wasn't like you were going to wake anyone up with your tracks.

Besides, this was your perfect ritual. Finish training at 5, play video games with Gekko till 7, shower, play on your switch till 9, play on your PC till 12, Listen to music and read till 2, then your pièce de résistance, post-midnight snack. It would be more appropriate to call it a late dinner... or early breakfast. Considering you didn't eat with the others, too busy with animal crossing.

Tonight's late-night snack comprised of your favorite instant noodles and a single egg. Depressing at face value, delicious at stomach value. Nutrition value? Zero.

Not like you cared though. All the hallmarks of the perfect youth, unhealthy food, video games, staying up all night, and ruining your ear drums.

So here you were, making noodles at nearly 3 in the morning while you danced in your oversized pj's that were totally not covered in pizza stains.

As you went to spin you unfortunately turned to see a very irritated looking Yoru staring back at you.... Ok, so maybe you should start turning your music down.

"The hell are you doing?" he asked as you slowly pulled off your headphones. "Noodles" was all you could say when he pushed past you to look into your pot, lightly shoulder checking you.

"This is sad" he huffs, shaking his head before walking over to the fridge. "I'll have you know I am anything but sad when I eat this" he rolled his eyes, pulling out a container of leftovers from a previous dinner along with some seaweed and a brown looking container.

"What are you doing?" you leaned over his shoulder as he started to move the boiling water into a larger bowl. "Showing you what real food is" he snapped.

"Geeze. Alright, grumpy" you put your hands up and hopped up onto the counter, only making his brows furrow deeper, "I take it you're making some for you too?".

"Damn right. Like I'd go through all this trouble for you" he scooped a portion of the brown.... goop? into the pot. "Put your lazy ass to use and pull this meat off the bone" he slid the container of Brim's leftover ribs towards you.

"Don't you think he'll eat these later?" he laughed. "Like I care. Old man has a minifridge in his office, that's where the good shit is. He probably forgot about those already" you shrugged, tearing the fat and meat off and placing it into the container.

You and Yoru didn't interact much one on one. you would join group smash bro tournaments and do missions together but other than that your interactions were limited.

"...Soooooo, what are you doing up?" you tried to fill the silence now that your music was gone. "Fixing my sleep schedule. Something you should be doing" you hummed, not quite agreeing, too focused on the way he carefully cut the seaweed into strips.

"No thank you, I'll stick to my routine" he gave you a look, "4 hours of sleep and shitty packet foods?".

"Well when you say it like that of course it sounds bad" you huff a laugh. A light splatter sounded as he dropped the dry noodles into the boiling broth.

"You don't add the noodles before the flavoring?" A look of disgust spread across his face as he threw the intact flavor packet at your face.

"None of that prepackaged chemical shit!" you rubbed your forehead lightly, sliding the packet into your pocket for future use, "Throw that away!".

"That's wasteful" you argued, making him grumble. "Open" he held a spoon of broth in front of you. Curiously you leaned into drink, ignoring the awkwardness of him feeding you, "Holy shit! That's good".

He turned back to the pot, sliding in the meat, "That is why you don't use that instant crap. Miso and dashi. Even an idiot like you can figure it out ". You frowned, only for a shot while as you saw him break up the ramen into bowls, topped with eggs and nori.

Handing you the bowl, you paused when he didn't release it. "No more fake shit?" it was more of a statement than a question, but if it meant you could eat the heavenly smelling bowl in front of you, then you would swear off instant noodles for the rest of your life. "No more fake shit" you nod with a smile, and he releases his grip.

Yoru watches as you scarf down all of his hard work like a ravenous animal. That was a lie, it wasn't hard work. Which made your inability to do it yourself all the more concerning. He knew you weren't going to fix your sleep schedule any time soon.

Maybe he could hold off fixing his for a few more days. No doubt your little promise would be out the window if he left you to yourself.

Some one-on-one time wouldn't be the end of the world.

Requests open!

[glitterguts13]

https://www.webmd.com/baby/what-is-cryptic-pregnancy

I want to read about a character giving birth without realizing they were even pregnant.

I'm not settled on a specific character, so you can pick from one of these pairings (or if you're feeling ambitious/generous, more than one of them?)

Ex: Father/The One Giving Burth

Diluc/Kaeya, Zhongli/Childe, Alhaitham/Kaveh, Neuvillette/Wriothesley

I have another request lined up like this, but with all the genshin boys, so I'm just going to pick one pair to do a longer version here! I don't have much Diluc/Kaeya so I'm choosing them!

"Seriously?" Kaeya could feel his eye twitching in annoyance as Diluc hovered over him, sharp eyes watching from the doorway. Sweat dripped down the back of his neck, his stomach lurking as another wave of nausea overtook him.

"I told you not to drink so much."

"Shut the fuck u-" Kaeya jolts forward, barely making it to the toilet before more watery bile burns his throat, "I haven't had anything to drink today...not for a few days, in fact."

Raising an eyebrow in disbelief, Diluc doesn't respond, only wetting a washrag and passing it to Kaeya.

"Told you..." Kaeya leaned back on his heels, swallowing thickly and groaning, "Food poisoning...I knew better than to trust Lisa's cooking..."

"If you aren't better by morning, I'm calling Barbara down to check on you." Kaeya waves his 'brother' off, kneading his knuckles into the aching muscles of his abdomen.

"I can handle the vomiting but these cramps...damn, they won't let up." Diluc offers a hand, helping Kaeya to his feet.

"Lay down, try to sleep it off." ~~~

The room is dark, silence filling the space between Kaeya's rapidly beating heart. It hurt, everything hurt, but mostly his stomach and hips. The ache is bone deep, the pressure mounting no matter how hard he tried to relieve himself. Food poisoning and constipation, what a winning combination.

"Kaeya..." sleep deep voice rumbling beside him, Diluc reaches out, giving his arm a squeeze, "You still up?"

Kaeya tries to smile, even though he knows Diluc can't see his face in the dark, but all he can do is moan.

"Kaeya?" sleep is replaced with urgency, the lamp next to their bed flickering on, "Kaeya- Shit, Kaeya!" the younger man blinks, confused. He knows he must look like shit, but Diluc sounds positively petrified.

"I'm getting Barbara-"

Kaeya struggles to sit upright, opening his mouth to protest when he finally sees the issue.

Blood.

Blotches of it cover the sheets between his legs, though he'd been too sweat-soaked to notice before. He swings his legs over the side of the bed, but the moment he stands, his body gives out. Crashing to the ground, the pain seemed to amplify as his anxiety took hold.

"D-don't go!" Kaeya calls out, trembling as Diluc gathers him into his arms.

"You're bleeding, why didn't you wake me up-"

Reaching for Diluc's shirt, Kaeya grips it tight.

"Pants- off-!!" confused, Diluc pulls the fluid-soaked garments down around Kaeya's ankles.

"Coming...push, fuck-" his brain is firing in every direction, fear overriding sense, instinct toppling reason. The pain was sinking lower, that pressure building embarrassingly low. To hell with it all, better to be humiliated than dead.

He gives a tentative push, crying out as something hard pokes at his hole. The tight muscles stretch, Diluc gasping in horror.

"Kaeya- Kaeya why didn't you tell me-?!" he lays his 'brother' onto the floor, adrenaline rushing through him as he spies the head bulging. There isn't time to act before it's popping free, slipping with ease into his hands as Kaeya gave a single, desperate push.

"Shit- Shit, Kaeya, Shit shit shit!!!" he can barely bring himself to look, good eye going wide as Diluc cradles a squawling bundle to his chest.

"You should have told me!" he shouts, eyes burning with fear and anger. Kaeya swallowed, choking on emotion.

"I didn't...know-"

[runsintheblood]

Family Bingo 2024 Roundup

A great big thank you to all the authors, artists, and commenters that participated in our inaugural Family Bingo event! We're absolutely blown away by the joyous enthusiasm with which everyone has made this such a resounding success, and created so many phenomenal fanworks for the fam, which are recorded below for your perusal. Go devour them and shower em with comments and kudos (our commenter role award is available until Halloween if you catch em all!) cuz there's some thoroughly fangtastic pieces here. First, some stats:

We got a jaw-dropping total of 38 works submitted!

We had 8 players, and 6 of them won Bingo! Congratulations!!

No blackouts this time, but both @bigbad1880 and @reallyreal-madeingold went above and beyond with 6 and 7 fanworks respectively

Our first player to get Bingo! was @reallyreal-madeingold

The longest work submitted was For My Toy Love by @myboyknows (girlpire) at 15,206 words

Conversely, the shortest was Latreia by @somekindofadeviant at 100 words

@queennhalloweenn got the highest word count total at 30,316 words

And @mamabewear gave us the most Puppet-pires at 1 Puppet!Angel (multiple times!)

Kicking things off with our most popular card!

MamaBewear (Bingo!)

Tickle Me Angel (Angel/Spike, Square: Long Distance/Tickling) It turns out that Puppet Angel is very ticklish! Also, Spike discovers an embarrassing secret that Angel’s been hiding from everyone.

Sexyme Street (Angel/Spike, Square: Clumsy/Costumes) Spike discovers something unexpected about himself, and Puppet Angel has a wardrobe malfunction.

Spoons (Angel/Spike, Square: Dream/Size Kink) Angel’s a little tired of being stuck as a puppet, but Spike sees it as an opportunity!

Puppy Love (Angel/Spike, Square: Pets/Sex Pollen) Lorne is dog sitting for one of Gunn’s favorite actors, and also, there’s sex pollen in the air! So, it’s pretty much just like any other day at Wolfram and Hart for Spike and Puppet Angel.

Something's Cooking (Angel/Spike, Square: Cooking/Dirty Talk/Phone Sex) It’s getting hot in the kitchen, as Spike insists that Angel entertain him while he’s out on a surveillance mission.

Harlow (Bingo!)

Curses (Angel/Spike, Square: Tentacles/Non-Human Genitals) Spike gets cursed by a witch, and ends up with a brand new "package". Oops.

I Called Him Mine (Angel/Spike, Square: Exhibitionism/Public/Surprise) Spike gives Angel a blow job, but that's not the only surprise Angel is in for.

Melon (Angel/Spike, Square: Foodplay/Messy) Spike and Angel play with their food. And make a mess in the process.

Welcome to the Family (Angelus/Darla/Spike, Square: Watersports) Darla and Angelus welcome a newly sired William to the family. Properly.

I'm My Type (Angel/Angelus, Square: Sex Toys) Angelus figures out a way to split himself and Angel into separate bodies, and takes everything he wants from Angel.

Shattered (Darla/Spike, Square: Noncon) Spike, a spy, breaks into an enemy base to steal some intelligence. Unfortunately for him, he gets captured.

In The Dark (With You) (Angelus/Angel, Square: Blindfold) Part two of Angel and Angelus's horny selfcest adventures.

Liv

Proposals (Darla/Drusilla, Square: Free Space) Darla wants something new, and Drusilla is willing to make it happen.

Negotiating (Darla/Drusilla, Square: CNC) Drusilla and Darla discuss their game plan.

Yes Mistress (Darla/Drusilla, Square: Hypnotism) It's playtime.

Eve

Creature Comforts (Darla/Drusilla, Square: Knotting) Darla is in rut. Drusilla is there to help.

Tea With Milk In (Spike/Drusilla, Square: Somnophilia) Drusilla and a sleeping Spike.

Next up, Blue

QueennHalloweenn (Bingo!)

Divine Comedy in the Withering Heart (Angelus/Darla, Square: Rough Sex/Biting/Scratching/Teasing) Darla is dead… again. It's the only thing she's actually sure of.

Divine Comedy in the Land of Sodom (Angelus/Darla/Drusilla, Square: Humiliation/Degradation/Dacryphilia/Lessons) Darla continues to seek out memories of a life she's forgotten.

Divine Comedy in the Pool of Lethe (Angelus/Darla, Square: Accidental Stimulation/Stuck Sex/Play Fight) Darla needs to hold on to her memories-- losing them is the same as losing herself.

Divine Comedy in the Białowieża (Angelus/Darla/Drusilla/Spike, Square: Orgy/Double-Penetration/Elevator) Darla remembers the last time she had her family all together.

Divine Comedy in the House of Flies (Angel/Darla/Drusilla/Spike, Square: Glory Hole/Anonymous/Free Use/Allergy) Final of the Fang Four Family Bingo 2024! (or is it??? 🤔🤔)

Vampbrat (Bingo!)

Adult Material (Angel/Darla, Square: Porn-Watching) The most divorced vamps in California tentatively attempt to reestablish a connection.

Breathing Lessons (Angelus/Darla/Drusilla/Spike, Square: Free Space) Darla usually leaves disciplinary measures up to Angelus but occasionally feels she needs to step in. A little drowning can be a calming factor for even the most recalcitrant brats.

The Stranger At My Fireside (Drusilla/Spike, Square: Accidental Stimulation) There's nothing like a seance for a bit of a horny night out. Things get a bit more horny than Spike anticipated.

Pretty Like A Knife (Angel/Spike, Square: Praise Kink/Spoiling) Angel caresses and strokes Spike in the aftermath of a sparring session, lavishing him with praise.

Dressing Down (Angelus/Spike, Square: Ageplay) William the Bloody takes his forfeit for losing at cards: a new wardrobe, fit for his new role in his new family.

The Dead Won't Bother You (Drusilla/Spike, Square: Hybristophilia) Spike and Dru are on a cross country road trip. Some people drive to famous battle sites or for bridges or foliage. Dru is keen on serial killers.

SomeKindOfADeviant (Bingo!)

Swallowed Whole (Angelus/Spike, Square: Sensory Deprivation/Blindfold/Confused) A spot of fledgling tuition. This is a practical exam, of course, isn't it always?

Mouthfuls of Thaumaturgy (Drusilla/Spike, Square: Marking/Tattoos) The best ideas are always had when drinking sailors while your elders are away. Spike wants Drusilla to leave a mark on him and she's eager to oblige.

Fly Soup (Angel/Darla/Drusilla/Spike, Square: Temperature/Sensations) The family get into a little spot of bother.

Latreia (Drusilla/Spike, Square: Authority) Spike has his rituals.

Principled Approach (Angelus/Drusilla/Spike, Square: Humiliation/Lessons) Actions have consequences

And skipping Yellow, which had no takers - we have finally, Green

Girlpire (Bingo!)

For a Good Time (Angel/Spike, Square: Glory Hole/Smile) This is the dirtiest thing I've ever drawn. :D

Control (Angel/Darla, Square: Machines) I might have been wrong. THIS is the dirtiest thing I've ever drawn. :D

For My Toy Love (Angel/Drusilla/Spike, Square: Macro/Micro) Set during season five of AtS, Angel and Spike are in an established relationship with each other when Drusilla unexpectedly arrives on their doorstep in the pot of a mandarin tree. She is only six inches tall.

Party Favor (Angel/Spike, Square: Accidental Stimulation) Spike casts a sexy spell for solo purposes, but it doesn't go exactly as he planned. Relatedly, Angel finds something relaxing to do with his hands.

Quality Time (Angelus/Darla/Drusilla/Spike, Square: Inflation) A newly-turned Spike casts a sex hex for attention, and Angelus obliges.

We can't wait to see you all next year! Until then, join us at the Runs in the Blood Fanged Four Discord Server

[vital-information]

"What I really realized about some of my ideas of freedom is that they were like neoliberal fantasies. It's like, 'let me choose everything,' 'leave me alone all the time,' 'don't put any demands on me--only I will make demands.' It's a dark vision, and it really took me a long time to understand that the things that I'd been taught by the capitalist 80s to believe were unfreedom are freedom. Having people who mean something to you, who you have duties towards, is not unfreedom; it's freedom. It's actual existence...To be free of meaning is not freedom. Now my life is full of meanings, sometimes they're difficult, sometimes they're painful, but it's absolutely full. I don't think children are the only root to that kind of meaning, but I absolutely think you have to find something other than yourself to focus on.

...

When I meet a lot of other lady writers, I know, when we first had children we spent our whole time talking about how we were somehow trapped or imprisoned, but that's the most superficial idea of what a relation with other people is like. Now I consider all my relations--my friends, my dog, my husband, my family--as things that liberate me from myself. They are absolute freedom to me, and without them I would just be completely lost. A dog can do this for you, a cat can do this for you, going down to the larder and volunteering can do this for you. You just need to be among other people at some point, because otherwise it's hard to find in yourself (or for me anyway) a reason to go on.

...

It's a question of what does that freedom involve. I notice with the 'children thing' is that, at least in my own case, you spend so long battling to try and retain your own space. Then, when you look at what you've battled for, it isn't very much. These children are about to grow and disappear so quickly that you're going to get what you want sooner than you can imagine. All of these things are so out of sync with our capitalist discourse which is about 'you do you,' 'get what you want.' When it comes into conflict with this other thing, I guess we have in our heads, 'Am I become some kind of Victorian or old-fashioned person who is domesticated and a traditional woman.' We fight against that as if there's no liberating version of being connected to other people. That is the triumph of capitalism: it convinces you that it's just you and the shops, it's just you and the phone, and that's all that there is. Where there is an older vision of solidarity between people, within families, between children, between men and men, women and women, men and women--a community that is freeing. It's not a trap. It's like the only thing that brings joy.

...

I also think that's one of the tricks of the patriarchy: it makes you feel that all the traditional, supposedly feminine arts are humiliating. But why are they humiliating? In my house, it was the other way around. My dad was the cook. My dad was the cleaner. My mom was working a lot. My dad did a lot of those things. They're not humiliating when a man does them, apparently--[Interviewer Annie Macmanus: They're noble.]--He's been dead a long time, and sometimes, I can think of a meal he used to cook me, and it will bring me to tears. It was an art. And it was nourishing. And it was beautiful. And I'm so grateful. It was an act of love. I can't cook like that. My children will never have those memories of me. But, it's not nothing. It's the art of living. If it was a supposedly traditionally male art, you'd be getting awards for it...So I really resent the idea that these things are humiliating, even when I am picking up pants off the stairs, I think, 'I'm doing something for somebody else.' There is something noble in that, I hope.

Of course, the frustration is real. I think men suffer it just as much as women. I think to the credit of many contemporary men, they are doing absolutely the same amount of work...So the frustration is no longer purely female, which might be one of the triumphs of feminism. It's now something that lots of people have to experience, men and women. It's not that it's not real, but I have come to realize that [the frustration]'s not entirely debilitating. When it comes to art making, frustration can be really useful. Not being able to write, having your hands tied for part of every day, when I get down to my desk, I can't wait. Whereas when I was twenty-seven, I do remember embarrassingly moping around saying, 'Oh, I've got writer's block,' 'Oh, I've got ennui.' That to me now is like a comic thing, a ridiculous person who can't be taken seriously."

Zadie Smith, interviewed on Changes with Annie Macmanus

[hunybee03]

Sugar-cakes and Marshmallows

Warnings: Strong language.

It was another day, a beautiful day even! Machines were working amazingly everything well oiled moving like it should. With these new puppies, I should be able to make even more of a steady supply for Kaidou

"Love to hear that purr babes!" giggling I set to put my tools up humming a happy tune from the latest song Ulti glued into my brain when an explosion happened a few feet where I had just been.

Sickly green smoke billowed in clinging to my babies and rusting them beyond repair. With a screech, I ran the hell out of dodge to find Queen in the square and the prisoners running for dear life, well the ones that could anyway.

"What the fuck were you thinking of you stupid overgrown marshmallow!!" throwing my wrench like I was auditioning for the major league baseball team it hit him dead center of his brows

"Have any idea what you just did you stupid! idiot of a-!!" I was so angry I couldn't even form coherent curses at this ball of fluff.

"Ah-Oh the mad woman's pissed off!! Run for your lives!!" his minions ran for cover laughing their fucking head off like this was the best damn thing to happen today.

"What? I had a little pest problem, so I took care of it, don't gotta jump me for it, sugarcakes. " he simply shrugged, holding up his new and improved vile launcher. I mean mugged the hell out of him, another wrench poised to be thrown at his head.

"Please don't tell me you are that stupid! Did you even stop to think of where you were aiming! I almost died, you prick, and look at what you did to my babies!!" pointing behind me, my hand shaking with rage, the way he just nonchalantly looked past at the gaping hole in the side of the building, UUGH! I could kill him!

"You my dear are the stupid one" his pushed at my forehead with a finger "I am a fucking genius annnd also the one who told you to fortify your 'babies' better for incidents such as this" oh this condescending fucking prick I swear to everything I know!!!

"Just wait till Kaidou finds out about this~ he wont be too happy, ya'know," he said in a sing song voice knowing he was just irritating me further made him laugh even more.

If I could Id cut that laugh out of his throat not just for what he said but what it fucking does to me, but not this time, this time I'm beyond pissed.

"Seems to me you did this on fucking purpose Queen because I did fucking fortify them you just failed to tell me what new fucked up shit you cooked up in that lab of yours!!! How would you feel if i just walked in and blew up your precious lab? Hmm?"

"You wouldn't dare!!!" His voice broke in his high pitch off-key tone.

"HA! Wanna bet?!?"

Tools and green viles were thrown aiming for each other, a few people caught in the crosshair either got knocked out by a hammer or covered in whatever green slime were in those viles.

"I can't believe you Queen!!!" Rubbing my eyes with the arm of my sleeve, I hated crying, and most of all, crying in front of him, I worked really hard on that distillery! It had been my best work yet..

"Shit! Gwen I'm sorry" did this giant hill of mount marshmallow just fucking apologize? To me? Laughter and teasing wolf whistles sang around us from the beast pirates. Looking at Queen, he looked flushed, hiding his eyes with a hand offering me a jacket.

Feeling a chilling breeze where there shouldn't be I looked down to see that most majority of my clothes had rotted away, the only thing left was enough to cover my nipples and between my legs my ass left out to the blistering elements.

"W-W-WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!" I screamed snatching up the coat from him and ran.

Never have I felt this fucking humiliated before in my life! oh but of course it had to be Queen that caused this. He's fucking dead when I see him next I swear to the sky above and the deep deep abyss of the ocean below!

Days even weeks passed where I didn't even so much as look in his direction, cleaning up the wreckage to slowly rebuild everything from the ground up. I had erected a sign post to 'Fuck off' in big bold letters to anyone who could read.

I was on a deadline, and if I didn't get this done in time, it would be my head on the chopping block, so sleepless nights were my middle name till it was done.

Luckily since that day nothing had blown the walls to smithereens despite the occasional explosions I could here on the other side.

As much as I was mad at him I couldn't stay mad, what he made was kinda cool just wished it wasn't aimed at my machines, specially one specifically for Kaidou, I only had just enough reserves for him to drink through and even that might not stave off enough of his drinking habit before I could make more.

"Gwen you home?"

"What do you want Queen?" stuck under some pipping he kicked my boot with his

"Come on out you gotta eat sometime"

"Not Hungry"

"Stop being so dramatic sugarcakes and come eat while its still hot" he kicked my boot again "Its Shiruko, I know you want some~"

Of course my stomach would betray me

"Stop calling me sugarcakes you lame fucking marshmallow"

"Stop calling me marshmallow and maybe I might" giggling, he passed me the bowl, that sweet chewy texture a god send

"Never going to happen when you look so much like one." quirking an eyebrow

"I choose this because if not, I would be plagued by all the ladies flocking the stage to get a piece of this. You, on the other hand, don't even have to try, babes."

"Yeah, right." I couldn't even resist the eye roll even if I tried

"Would you two just fuck already and save us the ear bleed" we both went up in smoke at Kings intrusion, wings tucking in tight to fit past

"Kaidou wants to know when you will be finished" another eye roll is earned out of me along with a long groan of thought that had Queen choking on his shiruko

"All things considered and no incident occurs it should be up and running at least by the end of next week if I never sleep" he watched me for some time before nodding turning to leave the way he came noting the tarp that covered the enormous hole that still had yet to be fixed

"See to it that it is done"

"Yes, you most winged excellency," I murmured with a dramatic bow when he left

"I heard that" he yelled back down the hall

"Fuck" swiping up my bowl again I finished the rest quickly so I could get back to work

"Don't you have some new evil rotting toy to make? you know, far far away in your lab" his laugh reverberated the metal around me and I couldn't help but laugh as well

"I do have something cooking, but I'll leave once you promise to finally come back to bed tonight"

Resting my head on the cool concrete, rolling it back and forth, mulling over the thought. It did sound rather tempting.

"Only if you promise you won't destroy my distillery again, and you got a deal"

"I promise I wont actively seek to destroy your precious babies"

I let the silence drag on for a bit biting back a laugh hearing him shift his weight a few times waiting for my answer.

"Come on sweetcakes, I miss you, and the bed is so cold and lonely," he practically whined and could see him crouched down, tugging the tip of my boot.

"You are really laying it on me thick," I laughed, pushing my foot back at him "Alright Alright I'll come to bed tonight"

Excited, he pulled me out from under my machine to give me a mouth-watering kiss

"Its a date" he winked, finally leaving me to my work.

[proxylynn]

Blorbo: Chris McLean (TDI)

(I hope this is one of your blorbo. I used to have a big crush on him. i love hate this Psychopath so much!)

{You have picked another real one. Good eye.}

[Originally when Total Drama first came out, I had no interest in Chris and was more drawn to Duncan and later Scott. But as the show started to sour those boys for me, watching re-runs allowed me to focus on others...mainly Chris and my interest awakened. He became my reason to watch and I'm so glad that's the case as he's the most interesting and fleshed-out character. Starting out as a simple drama show host parody to evolving into a psychic remorseless narcissist with a body count of numerous dead interns spanning years of this series and eventually winds up in jail for none of that (which is hilarious) but he's such an icon that people went nuts when he got a new voice actor! (note: Christian Potenza later explained in an interview with YouTuber Corcoran Entertainment that he dropped out due to having faced false assault allegations that made Fresh TV "let him go" and recast him despite recording the reboot without warning, on top of no longer having any desire to continue voicing a character as sadistic as Chris)

Outside of that, Chris as a character is this fun bundle of nuts I enjoy shaking up and watching him go crazy. He has little concern for the well-being of his contestants – and even sometimes best friend Chef Hatchet as well. Chris feeds off the pain of the teenagers (honestly I don't blame him for this), physical and emotional, and strives to keep the drama in Total Drama alive at all times (based). He is a very selfish and arrogant man as he does not care about anyone or anything but money, higher ratings, and personal pleasure gained from the pain and suffering of others. Chris also enjoys messing with and preying upon the relationships of the contestants for his own personal gain as he loves it when contestants bicker, argue, and fight amongst each other (more based). He appears to have gotten increasingly sadistic as the series has progressed, with the challenges turning from humiliating and occasionally dangerous, to being full-on life-threatening. While he continues to elaborate that it is for high ratings, in later seasons it seems he is more concerned with causing pain than actually increasing the popularity with viewers.

In "The Final Wreck-ening", he excitedly explains that the challenge was so dangerous the network rejected the initial proposal - and he lies about shutting it down (this man is awesome). However, in one instance, Chris does actually begin to worry that the contestants may die (but only because this would result in no show, and thus no paycheck to support his luxurious lifestyle). Despite the negative points of being a reality show host, Chris loves his job and the fame that comes with it. He enjoys spending life in luxury, including catching some rays in his tanning bed and relaxing in his jacuzzi. He has tried other activities like hosting a cooking show and being in a boy band, but all of them have been ill-fated. Chris is frequently seen in various costumes when introducing challenges, with Chef often dressed up as well to coordinate with him. He is highly rebellious against the network lawyers. On a few occasions, he has shown to be somewhat childish as well, whining when he is displeased about something.

This guy is so chaotic neutral that I can totally see him secretly being a god or fae just dicking around with mortals for the lols and it would only make him cooler!]

[romana-after-dark]

Flightless Bird, Fat House Cat: The Wrong Way Anniversary

The Wrong Way Universe

Title taken from a song on the playlist, Flightless Bird American Mouth by Iron and Wine.

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF WHEN I FIRST POSTED THE WRONG WAY!!!!

I could never comprehend the love I got from this series.

Due to everything happening and the targeted harassment, I can't celebrate the way I want to but I couldn't pass up an opprituniety to celebrate this story.

Three POV's, Tommy, Lorenzo and Jack. I know Jack got v little play in TWW as he was just on the side in case I needed him (and I did end up needing him!) But through talking to Clem, Mary, Kate about the universe in this last year, he also has a special place in my heart and in Stolen Lullaby, aka my reworking of this story into a dark novell, he will have more of a roll. IDK if I ever mentioned it, but his faceclaim to me is Garrett Hedlund in his most yeehaw looks.

Because of everything, reblogs are disabled because I don't want attention to this blog and I'm taking a risk posting this but I want to be brave for this story. After this, I'll be gone for a bit so check out romana_rose for updates until this is over. If you enjoyed this, please leave a commnt. I need it right now.

I can never thank you guys enough for all the love you'e given the wrong way and the sequel series, Ghost of You and Going Under. This series was so important to me to explore my own trauma, family, friendship, motherhood, fatherhood, brotherhood, siblings, found family, morality, manhood, victimhood, etc.

You are all so important to me, every like, comment, reblog ive gotten i've looked at and loved.

Here we go.

Very little Joel, but I promise we'll have more for the celebration of the finale in a few months when i hope I can celebrate properly. But, seeing as Joel is the bad guy, I thought more exploration of the side characters would be interesting.

*****************

If Tommy closed his eyes, he could imagine it was her.

Things had gotten better in the raiding house for her, even if Tommy had lost a lot of her attention. Since Zach had tried to take her away, her brother she thought was dead until that night, the girl had been… less than pleased with him. It was understandable, he knew. From her perspective, Tommy had known her only family left that hadn’t abused her was a still alive and he had kept it from her… but from Tommy’s perspective he was protecting her. She had said to him to him, the day thought fought, that the only person that can protect her from Joel, is Joel, and she was right. He couldn’t protect her if she left again. Last time she tried, strong thing she was, she was burned and humiliated.

Thing were better for her now.

Refusing to escape with Zach, which confused Lorenzo to no end, had made Joel trust her more, and now she had more freedom. She’d started cooking, which she seemed to like, and Joel had taken to finding items for her she needed. Lorenzo watched her when Tommy was busy. Jack even made her a birdfeeder, and she liked watching the birds fly in and out. Sometimes he wondered if she longed for the freedom they had. 

Flightless bird, wings clipped her whole life, subject to the whims of men. 

Sometimes he watched them too, Blue Jay’s and Robins and other kinds he didn’t know shit about. He thought next time he saw Maria, to ask if Jackson had any bird watching books… maybe the girl would like them, help pass her time. He wanted to fly away too, he wanted to leave, leave everything and take her with him… but he wasn’t a bird. He wasn’t a bird whose wings had been clipped, he didn’t have his freedom stolen away by cruel men wanting to possess and break down something less powerful than them. 

Tommy had given up his freedom to follow Joel, his brother, the only thing he had now. Tommy knew he was a cat, once a stray and free to follow his fancy but had grown complacent and comfortable and lazy. He was a fat house cat pretending to be a lion.

Instead of saving her, he was getting his dick sucked as he listened to her moan.

It wasn’t all that loud, you really had to listen to it to hear it and God… god did he listen. Tommy was sat on his chair, legs spread, Lorenzo on his knees sucking his cock. Everyone knew Lorenzo was gay, that’s why he was allowed to watch the girl. Jack, they couldn’t figure out yet. What Tommy did know is sometimes Jack and Lorenzo fooled around with each other, and after a few weeks he got in on the action. Tommy wasn’t gay, but a mouth was a mouth. Tommy couldn’t sneak out to Maria as often as he wanted and the girl wasn’t making things easier. Joel had taken to finding dresses for her and god, did she look cute. Happier too. Smiles and laughs and fresh air did him good. From what she had told him, she’d never known peace a day in her life. Between her dads physical and sexual abuse and selling her out to man after man, just letting them beat her for money… this was comparatively peaceful now that Joel had relaxed. Still, she wore that brand on her thigh, and constant reminder that his love was conditional. Tommy wasn’t sure the reminder was working.

He tried to focus on Lorenzo, his mouth taking him deeply inside… but most importantly, her voice. In the next room, Joel was fucking her and whatever he was doing it was making her go crazy. How was Tommy supposed to know what her pussy felt like and not think about it? Not remember what it was like sliding in? Not think of her beautiful smile, still gentle and tender and patient after everything she’d been through? Everytime Joel made her moan those sweet, sweet sounds he pictured it was him, and his hips buckled up a little.

He could pretend it was her pussy if he concentrated.

*

Lorenzo knew something was up.

He loved sucking dick, would rub himself through him pants until he came every time if he knew he wasn’t getting action back, and with Tommy he didn’t. Lorenzo knew Tommy was picturing a girl when he closed his eyes, that death grip on his chair so he didn’t touch Lorenzo’s head. The shaved head would throw him off, ruin the bit for him. Still, Lorenzo opened his eyes. Tommy was focused, teetering on that edge, that wide, barrel chest of his panting and panting… He really was handsome, as was Joel, the prick. If Lorenzo was in that girls position, and he wouldn’t be because he’d fucking leave, he would run away with Tommy before spending another day with Joel. What was Tommy waiting on? He had a pretty girl that clearly loved him, that he clearly loved even if he was a man whore.

Lorenzo didn’t really have room to talk, honestly.

It wasn’t like he was cheating on Zach. They weren’t dating; Lorenzo didn’t date point blank. They were just fucking. And cuddling after. And hanging out whenever they could both sneak away… So they watched shooting stars together and talked about their moms and sisters, so what? It was just sex. He was fooling himself and he knew it, but letting go of the delusion was too painful. They’d never have a normal life so what was the point.

Tommy came in his mouth, saltier than Zach but not as strong as Jack; that strong, musky taste that was so masculine Lorenzo couldn’t help but swallow down. Even subduing himself, Tommy was loud.

When he died down, that’s when Lornzo heard it.

The girl in Joel’s room, the next one over. She was moaning.

Lorenzo didn’t mind Tommy picturing a girl. He didn’t even mind that maybe he was picturing her. But something about the fact that Tommy was getting off to the sound of that girl’s moans, a private moment, a moment which although she was clearly enjoying now, had been brought about by kidnapping and violence, disgusted him. She was just a kid to him, and yeah he could be a dick but he didn’t want to think about the horrible shit she’d been through.

“You’re fucking pathetic, Tommy!” Lorenzo stood, flustered and embarrassed and fucking angry, he headed to the door.

Dumbfounded, Tommy blinked up at him. “What? You offered!”

Lorenzo whipped around, stormed back to Tommy who had stood up and stuffed his dick back into his pants and Lorenzo fisted his hand up in Tommy’s white shirt. 

“You’d rather listen to you brother fuck that terrified child than be a fucking man and take her away. You got all these excuses but the fact of the matter is Joel matters more to you than an innocent life. When she’s dead in the ground, remember this is how you spent your time.”

He was about to let go and walk away when Tommy had to open his big mouth. “I don’t see you do’n anything to help her.”

It wasn’t rational. Lorenzo really should care this much. He wasn’t supposed to be making friends or attachments, but here he was, he cared about Zach, he cared about Jack, he cared about the girl.

Lorenzo punched Tommy square in the jaw.

*

Jack found Lorenzo outside smoking a joint. He didn’t smoke weed but he pulled out his cigarette and joined him.  “What’d you do to Tommy? The girls there icing his face.” Unfortunately, Jack knew their routine. Sex, bath, sleep. When Joel carried her, wrapped up in a towel and laughing at something Joel said or falling asleep in his arms, Jack always turned away. It didn’t matter much considering he’d seen her completely nude when Joel violently took her after charring her flesh. Sometimes he swore he could still smell it. Still, he wanted to offer a bit of dignity.

Jack didn’t pretend to be a hero like Tommy, but he didn’t put on that fake asshole defense machanism Lorenzo did. He felt for the girl, he just wasn’t going to risk his skin to help her leave. So, unlike Lorenzo he didn’t tell her she was dumb for staying, and he tried to make little things for her here and there. He was working on whittling some dominos. Unlike Tommy, he didn’t promise to whisk her away. Middle ground.

Lorenzo rolled his eyes. “He’s a dick. Joel’s probably gonna clock me.”

But Jack waved him off. “I doubt it. He ain’t running to Joel to fight his battles. If he wanted you hurt, he’d’ve hit you back.”

Lorenzo sighed, but nodded and took a fat hit. “Which being logical, it’s annoying.”

Jack just chuckled. When they were done, they walk back inside the girl was icing Tommy’s face. After she’d exited the bath with Joel, cuddled up in a ratty towel, she saw Tommy exiting his room with a swollen eye and tapped Joel. Clearly he’d dressed her, and let her tend to him while he stood, arms crossed and glaring. He tried to get Tommy to tell him who did it, but Tommy insisted it was just a small beef with one of the men, but they’d handled it.

When Jack and Lorenzo entered the living room, the girl gave Lorenzo a death glare.

That child had been beaten within an inch of her life again and again and again, forced to suffer the worst thing imaginable and yet she still managed to be so uniquely her. Bravery despite it all.

Brave little bird.

*************

thank you, thank you, a million times thank you.

and thank you to everyone whose reached out in this trying time.

Tagging people who were active reachng TWW or who still talk to me about it. If you want to be tagged for the finale celebration, lmk!

If you liked, this series, Rooms on Fire has similar vibes.

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @milla-frenchy @pimosworld @miraclesabound @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @the-fox-den @lunar-ghoulie @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @pedge-page @koshkaj-blog @rubyfruitjungle @gogh-with-the-flow @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @justagalwhowrites

[unladielike]

tell us more about vivian's toxic relationship dynamic with kai

          UNPROMPTED ASKS. » always accepting!

It's a mess, to be honest, where both seemingly have a hard time understanding each other and as a result, bicker endlessly. Whereas Kai's feelings get hurt, though, Vivian's mental health pretty much takes a nose dive following her encounters with him, for no matter how much she tries, it's like nothing she does ever improves their relationship. It also doesn't help his callousness does not make her want to open up, leading her to revert back into her insecure shell and do self destructive things; in other words, he's very bad for her health and is not by any means a 'safe person', which is someone an individual with autism trusts implicitly and feels safe or comfortable around.

Then again, it's confusing, because Vivian would claim she hates Kai, yet a baffling thing she does is cut fruit in his apartment before wordlessly handing him a plate of pineapples, oranges, and kiwi like an Asian mom, and weirdly enough, retreat back into the kitchen to be on her phone or wash the dishes. Now, naturally, you might assume she does this out of the goodness of her own heart or to make sure he gets his Vitamin C, but no, the true reason is to improve the taste of his semen.

Plus, while she no longer initiates conversation with him as much anymore, she would still pester him very frequently through text messages and would, by all appearances, be dead-set on at least beating him in something the way a petulant child might. To that end, she would bug him to go bowling with her, challenge him to, say, a game of poker (if he insinuates she must suck at gambling), or boldly claim she could drink him underneath the table, only to then pathetically lose in true girl failure fashion.

Why, instead of cool while she's with him, Vivian comes across as a very... clumsy, yet plucky young woman brimming with naivete. She flounders and puts on a brave, tough girl act, when really, she's all talk and no bite. That still wouldn't stop her from doing things she deems to be 'manly', however, like holding doors out for others, telling women 'cute ladies first' (in that princely, non-flirtatious way of hers), chasing after someone who dropped their wallet, and assisting an old woman across the street... things I'm sure he has seen her do a couple times. And I'm sure it must make him want to barf, because compared to him, she's much too nice... too stereotypically heroic, it reminds him of some cheesy protagonist from a kid's show.

At the same time, though, she also ends up in very stupid situations, where she'd either find herself stuck in a hole through the wall or unintentionally splattering mayo all over herself, to the point where she's ironically more so a distressed damsel than whatever heroic title she'd enjoy giving herself. Like, there are girls who can definitely kick Kai's ass, but Vivian's so laughably lame, she isn't one of them no matter how much she may claim otherwise.

As if that wasn't enough, she would even cook for him every once in a while after seeing how... incredibly lacking his diet is and would do weird things, such as gaze at him from afar with a pair of binoculars. Drunk Vivian would also be very clingy, that I wouldn't be surprised if people mistook her for his bratty girlfriend or something, just because she does kinda act that way. Heck, I headcanon one time, she even threatens to pee on his knives should he not tuck her in and give her a proper forehead kiss, which is something she still does not recall doing to this day.

But despite the fact Vivian constantly talks back to him and criticizes him, a part of her does deep down like Kai. She just doesn't want to admit it and gets off from being put in her place and being broken down into saying things she normally wouldn't because, well... she has a humiliation fetish and it turns her on whenever a hot, domineering man bullies her into submission; nevertheless, she does have a strange love hate relationship with him people would struggle to wrap their head around. I mean, on one hand, he frustrates her to no end, yet on the other hand, she's basically all, 'Man, he sucks... but I can't not fuck him'.

Still, it's hard to really take her seriously when the moment she accidentally loses Kai in a crowd, she'll peer through the nearest trash can just to find him and if she comes back to a room, only to find nothing but a plush that resembles him, she would be all, 'Oh no, Kai turned into a marketable plush! 😱' Vivian's just... oftentimes very silly, you would not suspect that behind the scenes, she starts self harming because of him or happens to hyperfixate over him to sometimes an unhealthy degree. Truly, thanks to Kai, she's secretly sad almost all the time and does not for one second believes he cares about her... that is, of course, up until he becomes her so called 'boyfriend', but that's a story for another time.

anonymous ( concerning @gloryundimmed )

[lilisouless]

In order to make up for the previous posts: compilation of Kaz roasting,messing with or looking down on people in my fic

—Because I know you, Alina... I have always been watching you from the shadows...—

Alina was silent for a minute, she stared at the emptiness in his eyes and then at the lump beneath her.

—You read it on my keychain, right?— she asked irritated.

—Yes, I saw it on your keychain. But you hesitated,you are more gullible than you seem—

…

—Forgive me...but...it warms my heart me so much to see how many people care about my beloved mother. If I could, I would take my eyes out to give them to her so she could see this, she would cry profusely—

(Kaz tries to not laugh)

…

—Money is no problem—

—No, the problem is not having money—Chaz (Kaz) mumbled.

…

On a randomly placed note after Alina breaks into his home

”Looking through my things Miss Starkova? That’s disappointing , I expected better from you.” PS: If Oretsev is with you, tell him that from him i didn’t expect better”

…

—It wouldn't be any use to me, they can't be trained like dogs—he gently ran a finger over the kitten's head—Although I could find get creative, many things taste good with some soy sauce—

…

—Honey, it's one thing to get your lovers inside, who, by the way, should stay on your side of the house, and another thing to have the sheriff to cover your...—

…

—What are you doing?—she shouted at her husband, sitting at the table and enjoying his dinner.

—I think i may be washing my car—he responded, putting another juicy piece of meat into his mouth.

…

—Everything you do has the possibility of ending in crime—she answered, sitting down and uncovering his dinner, another steak with boiled vegetables. Hers was much more cooked than his.

—Oh, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me—

…

—Zoya, sweetheart, why don't we take a break from hating each other? We might as well talk about how your steak is more charcoal than meat—

…

―If you want to ease your guilt , fix it with yourself instead of trying to lower me down on your level. The ones with a problem with you are everyone else,i don’t care. I can't even say that I forgive you because there was no harm. Go and sleep with whoever you want, it’s not my problem—

― I 'm just saying that if there's a chance you get with some, you should take it—

—Thanks but no thanks, there is nothing between my assistant and me. I don't see her that way. In fact, I'm not like the rest of you, I don't need to release tension to feel complete. Besides, if I had any interest in love, I wouldn't have married you―

…

*Tries to run away from a funeral when Alys is about to sing. Then pulls out earplugs,offers them to Zoya then snatches them and gives them to Alina instead just to piss her off*

…

“After Kaz steals a dead man’s watch on his funeral”

—He was not going to need it—

—It was a waste of a fine watch—

…

—Oretsev, why don’t you just go home to have your milk and cookies. It's way past your bedtime and you should take brain meds. Or is that thing rotten already?—

…

. —What if I better go with your wife?—

There was a general silence, everyone turned to look at Kaz but Brekker just laughed; prompting the people around him to laugh too.

—Go with her. If it means I won’t have to talk her in the morning and spare me about her ranting about the decoration in her part of the house...—

…

—Mr. Kirigin—Kaz interrupted—If I wanted a poetry recital right now, I would go with the kindergarten teacher. I beg you to stay out of this and stop humiliating yourself.

— You are a coward! There is no humiliation in giving everything for the perfect woman! It's an honor! But you wouldn’t know because you have never cherished a woman like her…—

—You surely seem to know plenty about women. Tell me, how is your mother? —

…

—Even with his body on the ground, I have more respect for him than I do for you, Oretsev. You can't fight your own battles—

[theboredandkindaweirdhistorian]

This Lent I'm reading Bringing Narnia Home by Devin Brown and in this series of long posts I shall answer the Further In reflection questions at the end of every chapter. It's more of a journaling process for me, but I'm sharing it with all of you.

Chapter 1: OF MICE AND MINOTAURS. Actions we see as small and insignificant can be far more important than we realise.

Q1: Can you think of any other times in Narnia when actions that may not have seemed particularly big or spectacular at the time turned out to be important? What events or circumstances do you recall?

One that comes to mind is the animals feeding King Tirian in the dead of night, when he's tied to a tree, supposingly as a criminal. They dare not set him free, but they feed him, secretly. This then gives the King strength enough to somehow call the Friends of Narnia for help. Surley it would have made for a much more spectacular scene if the animals were to free the King and start a rebellion then and there. These poor frightened creatures, whose world was shook to the core commited a small, insignificant act of mercy, yet it sure must've menat a lot to Tirian.

Q2: From your own life, can you think of something someone did for you that might not have made headlines but made all the difference to you? Try to remember some of the details. How did this person's generosity make you feel at the time? Or was it only later that you began to realise the importance of it to you?

The ones that come to mind were simple moments when I came home, from school or work and my grandma would have something cooked for me. She had something for anyone. Her kitchen was never out of cooked meals. I could treasure them sometimes back then, but even more so now. It means so much to me, to have had that kind of thought, even when I couldn't see it, because I had a bad day or lacked the time. But when I took the time, I think it made my grandma's world as well. It comes out as such a dear moment now, when she's gone and I never get that from her.

Q3: Can you think of something you yourself have done that did not seem like something big at the time, but which you later realized was a big thing?

I don't like singing. I still like music. I'm just very self-conscious when it comes to me singing, because I know I'm not good at it and I'm dreading the possible humiliation so I make a point to avoid it alltogether. Back in secondary school, one of our dorm "matrons" had her birthday and we, her group of charges, were figuring out what to give her. She was young, a very colorful and spirited lady, she loved music and coffee and personal talks and it meant much more to her if a gift was personal than expensive or big. It so happened that the rest of the girls in my group were musically talented and since the matron loved music so much, they came up with an idea to sing her her favourite song, all of us in the group. They organised quite a few rehersals and I had to come and sing too, because it was a group gift. I felt I stuck out like a sore thumb, that my contribution to the group choir was pointless, if not making the whole thing worse. I suspect some of the more talented girls in the group would share my sentiment, but it was a group gift, and for whatever it was, I was there. So, the day came, we sang the song to the matron, it moved her to tears, she was so grateful, and I felt like I had no claim on her gift because everyone else made it sound so wonderful and I just rode their coat-tails. Not long after, the matron spoke with me. I don't recall if we were alone or not. She said to me something along the lines of: "You singing with everyone for my birthday meant so much to me. It's special and rare, because I noticed you never sing otherwise. Even if it's a group prayer and everyone's singing, you never do. And for you to sing for me, that is one of the best things about the gift I got." I'll never forget it, that's for sure.

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Jane of Lantern Hill, chapter 2

"She was beginning to wonder how any one so lovely as mother could have a daughter so plain and awkward as herself."

I'm reminded of that Wrinkle in Time bit where Meg despairs of being ugly when her mother is beautiful and Charles Wallace goes, "mother is beautiful, which means at your age she must have been awful." I'm not sure how sound that logic is (although it holds true within the WiT universe, since Meg does grow up to be beautiful) but someone should definitely tell poor Jane that she won't always look the way she does at 11.

Anyway, we get bits and snippets about Jane's mother here, hints of who she might actually be if she weren't under her own mother's thumb. We learn that she would prefer simpler clothes and seems to share Jane's interest in cooking. We get a suggestion that perhaps she would prefer not to spend her every waking moment fluttering beautifully at a social event. But, of course, the entire household is structured around what Mrs. Kennedy wants, and those she loves are no less consumed by the need to not upset her than those she does not love.

We get to meet Aunt Gertrude in this chapter, and she too has been eaten by the house. And yet, she has probably the most autonomy we've seen so far? We're told that Mrs Kennedy does not even respect her, much less love her, but Aunt Gertrude "would not let grandmother keep a housemaid." That implies a level of standing up to her mother that we haven't seen from Jane's mother so far (although of course Jane exists, so clearly her mother did some amount of making her own choices). And Mrs. Kennedy apparently is willing to let her family clean, even if she won't let them cook. Or at least, she is willing to let Aunt Gertrude do so. There's some really insidious class stuff going on here that I am entirely too 21st century middle class to fully parse.

I will say that LMM has motifs that she seems to return to when writing emotionally abusive families. I haven't read the Emily books, so I can't speak to Teddy's family, but Jane and Valancy's families use a lot of the same tactics and have a lot of similarities:

-Physical needs met while emotional needs are ignored or mocked

-Rigid, iron-clad cleaning routines

-Controlling and scrutinizing food

-Religion used as a weapon

-Uncles who ask demeaning questions to humiliate you in public

-The pretty, popular cousin you get compared to

The rigid routine and pretty cousin in particular jump out at me, because they're very specific details. Some of it could be literary tradition or stock narrative devices -- Jane's household is reminding me a lot of Marius from Les Mis' family situation, except that his mother is already dead -- but LMM definitely seems to have some beats she likes to return to.