#I'd let him do heinous things to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fatecantstopme · 4 months

Text

I Can't Walk Away

Pairing: Nick Amaro x plus size!reader

Summary: When you and your boyfriend break up, you're faced with the seemingly impossible task of putting yourself back together. Luckily for you, your very handsome coworker is more than happy to help along the way.

Warnings: Body image issues, low self-esteem, mentions of toxic/abusive relationships, cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, light dom/sub vibes, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V).

A/N: This was entirely self-indulgent and I have no regrets.

Spanish Translations:

Querida: sweetheart/darling

Hermosa: beautiful

Mierda: shit

Por favor: please

Si: yes

All other translations will be after the sentence in brackets/italics.

You dropped onto Olivia's couch with a huff, tears still threatening to break through your stubborn facade.

"Are we gonna talk about it or do I need to have someone beat him up?" Liv asked you, a small smirk gracing her face.

"As much as I'd love to see his ass get handed to him, I think we should avoid committing any crimes," you said lightly.

Olivia sighed softly and reached over to put her arm around you. You leaned into her shoulder and began to let your guard drop. Olivia had been your best friend for over a decade now, your time working together in SVU having brought you closer than you could have imagined.

"He was an asshole, (Y/N/N)," she said softly. "You deserve better."

"You say that, but I guess I just don't believe it," you muttered.

It nearly broke her heart to hear you speak so negatively of yourself, but she knew no matter how many uplifting words she spoke, you would still refuse to believe her.

"Maybe there's something wrong with me," you whispered, tears finally beginning to fall. "Maybe I'm broken--unloveable."

"Hey," she chided. "You are so many things, (Y/N), but broken and unloveable are not among them."

She tightened her grip on you, pulling you into a proper side hug. She let you cry into her shoulder, her own heart breaking along with yours.

You knew, objectively, she was right--your now-ex was indeed an asshole. He'd never treated you well and had often put you down and made you feel terrible about yourself. Your self-esteem had been lower than usual when you met him and in the 6 months you'd been together, he'd managed to destroy whatever vestige of self-love you had left.

There wasn't a single thing about you he didn't belittle. Whether it was your physical appearance, your career, your hobbies, your dreams...he made you feel like everything you ever did was a mistake. In his estimation, you were too fat, unintelligent, boring...and your choice in career was just about the worst thing you could do.

You'd made it your mission in life to help the victims of particularly heinous crimes, which is why you'd been working at SVU for almost 12 years. You were the squad's forensic psychologist, and you loved your work. In many respects, it was the one thing that really brought joy to your life. It was your greatest passion--and the amount of time you spent at work certainly showed it.

Yet during those 6 months with him...your love for the job had begun to wane. Every time you'd stay late or have to cancel a date, he'd berate you for it--mocking your job and your inability to 'be a real person'. Now that you'd finally taken the leap and broken up with him, you were hopeful you could fall back in love with your work.

In this moment, however, all you could think about were the horrible things he'd said to you when you told him you wanted to break up. He'd been especially cruel, calling out every physical insecurity you had and making you feel like an absolute pile of human garbage. He'd called you fat, ugly, unloveable, gross...and a million other things you couldn't bear to repeat.

You weren't thin--you knew that, but you weren't gross. That was just offensive. Unfortunately, he wasn't the first ex to make comments about your weight--something you'd been struggling with for most of your adult life. The words had hit you harder than you'd expected, making you actually think he might be right...maybe you were the problem.

Olivia's voice broke you out of your thoughts, "Do you want to stay here tonight?"

You just nodded, not trusting your voice to answer her properly.

She squeezed you a little tighter, her reassuring presence grounding you in ways you desperately needed. You were always thankful for her friendship, but it was moments like this where you were reminded how much she really meant to you.

**********

You'd spent most of the weekend at Olivia's and by the time Monday rolled around, you were feeling a little bit better. She always knew what to do and say to make everything okay. It was a gift you'd always envied and appreciated.

It was very typical of you to be the first person in the office, having been an early riser most of your life. So you were more than a little surprised when you walked into the precinct Monday morning and spotted Nick Amaro sitting at his desk.

"You're in early," you commented lightly in lieu of greeting.

He turned his gaze to look over at you and shot you a disarming smile. "I couldn't sleep, so I figured I might as well get a head start on some paperwork I've been putting off."

"Wise man. Wouldn't want to upset the boss."

He grinned. "She's strict." His voice was teasing and warm and it made you feel something in your gut you always tried to ignore.

In truth, you were extremely attracted to Nick--it was undeniable. You had not, nor would you ever, tell him or act on it. Nick was so far out of your league it wasn't even funny. Besides, he was newly single, still fresh from his divorce.

"She can be calmed with good coffee and blueberry muffins," you said conspiratorially.

Nick chuckled. "I'm gonna have to write that down."

You offered him a smile before continuing past him to your office. You were surprised when his voice stopped you after a few steps.

"How was your weekend?"

You turned back to face him. "Friday was absolute shit," you said honestly. "But I spent Saturday and part of yesterday with Liv, so it's better now."

A look of concern crossed his face. "Everything okay?"

You feigned a smile. "Everything's fine. Thanks for asking."

His eyes narrowed as he gazed at you skeptically. "Is it that guy again?"

Your cheeks darkened, embarrassed Nick even knew about your ex. "We broke up."

Nick almost looked relieved. "I would say sorry, but it wouldn't be honest. I never liked the guy--he didn't treat you right."

You were surprised he paid enough attention to the things you said to know just how badly your ex had treated you. "Oh?"

Nick stood up and took a couple steps closer to you. He was still a professional distance away, but he could speak quieter so only you could hear him.

"You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. You're an amazing woman, (Y/N), and a good man would never treat you the way he did. He clearly didn't recognize your worth."

His words slammed into you with surprising force. "I-um-thank you," you muttered softly.

"You can thank me by dating a man who will love you the way you deserve," he said lowly. "Como una reina." [Like a queen.]

His last three words were so quiet you weren't even sure you'd heard him properly--or if you were supposed to hear them at all. You weren't fluent in Spanish by any means, but you understood the basics...enough to know he'd said something about a queen. That is, if you heard him correctly.

You were about to ask him to elaborate when Olivia came into the squad room. She sent a warm smile your way and issued greetings to both you and Nick. Her arrival broke whatever spell Nick had been under, and he went back to his desk quietly.

You went into your office, leaving the door open behind you so you could hear the goings on and the arrival of the rest of the squad. There were plenty of things for you to do, but you couldn't get Nick's words out of your head.

**********

Olivia looked up from her computer when Nick knocked on the doorframe entering her office.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

He came in and quietly shut the door behind him.

"Uh-oh...closed door conversation? Everything okay?"

"With me, yes," he answered. "But I wanted to ask you something and I don't want anyone overhearing."

"Okay..."

"It's about (Y/N)."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "What about her?"

"She mentioned she'd spent the weekend with you and she and that asshole broke up."

Olivia chuckled softly, glad to hear she wasn't the only one who hated your ex.

"I know it's not really my business, but I can tell something is really upsetting her. Hell, I've noticed a change in her since the moment they started dating--and not in a good way."

"He isn't a good person," Olivia conceded.

"Tell me about it," Nick muttered. "Anyway, I just--well, I just want to know if she's okay? I mean, really okay."

"Why don't you ask her?"

"I did, but I know she wasn't being honest with me."

Olivia sighed. She had a feeling he was asking about you for a reason, but she wasn't sure it was her place to tell him the truth. She was torn between being honest with her partner and keeping her best friend's pain to herself.

"I don't know if it's my place to tell you, but he did say some particularly cruel things about her when she broke up with him."

Nick's eyes narrowed and Olivia could see the anger flare in them. "What did he say to her?" Even his voice was laced with fury--the mere idea someone would hurt you sent him off the edge.

"I can't tell you," Olivia answered. "But if you really want to know, then I think you should talk to her. She trusts you, so she may open up to you."

Nick nodded, anger still boiling beneath the surface. "You're right--I didn't mean to intrude or anything."

Olivia shook her head. "It's alright. I know you care about her...I guess I'm just a little surprised by your anger."

He winced slightly, feeling embarrassed for his display of emotion. "I don't like the idea of some guy making her feel like shit."

"Neither do I," she said honestly. "I am curious though...what made you ask about her?"

"Wha-what do you mean?"

Olivia smiled slowly. "I mean, why do you want to know badly enough to ask me?"

Nick had a feeling Olivia could see right through him--they'd been partners for a few years after all. He wasn't sure how to answer--or if he wanted to be entirely truthful. In the end, he opted for vague honesty. "I care about her."

Olivia watched his expression in silence for a long moment before responding. "So do I."

Nick could see the meaning behind her words as clearly as if she'd spoken them aloud--don't hurt my friend. He didn't say it, but he hoped Olivia knew he would never hurt you...it would break his heart.

**********

"Hey (Y/N/N). You busy?"

You looked up to see Nick standing in your office doorway, leaning against the frame. You swallowed thickly as you pushed down the improper thoughts blazing through your mind at the sight.

"Uh--no. What's up?"

He stepped into the room, edging closer to your desk. "I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight. My treat."

You raised your eyebrows at him, unsure of the cause of his request. "Is there some sort of celebration I'm unaware of?"

He chuckled lightly. "Other than your new-found freedom, no. I just...well, I wanted to spend a little time with you. Ya know, if you want."

You bit your bottom lip as you contemplated his offer. "Well, I don't have any other plans, so why not?"

He grinned. "Excellent. Do you want time to go home first or just leave from here?"

You looked down at your outfit, suddenly feeling very frumpy and unattractive. You knew he wasn't asking you out on a date--just a friend inviting you to dinner to cheer you up. Even still, you really didn't want to go out looking like this. "Do you mind if I go home and change first?"

"Not at all. I can pick you up from your place, if you'd like?"

"Oh, uh-yeah. Sure."

He smiled again. "Perfect. 6:30?"

You nodded. "Sounds good."

You watched him walk out of your office, mind racing as you tried to figure out his motivations and what the hell you were gonna wear.

**********

By the time 6pm rolled around, you'd managed to change your clothes somewhere in the realm of 50 times, and you still weren't entirely satisfied. Even your favorite outfit didn't feel right--you could hear your ex's voice in the back of your mind telling you everything you tried on looked bad.

You dug further into your closet, looking for something simple--cover the things you wanna hide and accentuate the things you wanna show off. Your eyes fell on a beautiful black dress you'd actually never worn. You'd purchased it on a whim because you'd loved it in the store and Olivia had insisted it was too perfect to pass up on.

You pulled the dress off the hanger and put it on, pleased it still fit properly. When you turned to look in the mirror, you almost didn't recognize yourself--you actually felt pretty. The bodice of the dress was tight, but the lower half was flowy. The material was a soft, stretch satin, with a low neckline and flutter sleeves. The dress hit right above your knees and it practically screamed for a pair of heels.

You found your favorite black pumps, slipping them on and smiling at your reflection. You put on some jewelry to spice up the look, sprayed your favorite perfume, and double checked your hair and makeup one last time. You didn't wear much makeup on the daily, so you didn't go too wild with your makeup for the evening. You'd added some eyeliner and lipstick, but otherwise you looked natural. You'd actually been having a good hair day already, so you were pleased to see it was still behaving properly.

You'd just put the last finishing touches on the outfit when you heard the buzzer ring. You quickly went to answer it, and upon hearing Nick's voice, told him you'd be right down.

You took one last look in the mirror, took a deep breath, and headed downstairs feeling both excited and trepidatious. You reminded yourself once again this was just two friends having dinner--purely platonic...but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't want it to be an actual date.

Nick was waiting just outside the front entrance to your apartment building, and he turned around when he heard the door open. Nothing could have prepared you for the look on his face when he saw you.

"Santa mierda," he breathed. "You look incredible." [Holy shit.]

You blushed and looked away. "Thank you," you mumbled softly.

He stepped towards you and gently touched your chin, lifting your face to meet his gaze. "You're very welcome."

He dropped his hand, but his eyes stayed fixed on your face for a long moment. "Do you like Italian?" he asked.

"Of course," you answered, silently pleased your voice sounded normal.

"Excellent." He gestured towards his car and you followed behind him. He opened the passenger door and helped you in before getting in the driver's seat.

The drive wasn't very long, and your nerves kept you quiet for most of the ride. You listened to him chatter on about nothing, simply enjoying the sound of his voice.

When you arrived at the restaurant, he once again opened your door and helped you out, but this time his hand didn't leave yours. He placed your hand through the loop he'd made with his arm and guided you to the entrance.

Once you were seated, your nerves began to ratchet up even higher. Unfortunately for you, Nick was both an extremely good detective and an annoyingly perceptive person. As such, he noticed your discomfort immediately.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," you lied.

"It's just me, (Y/N/N)," he said quietly.

You exhaled slowly--realizing he was right. It was Nick for God's sake. He was your colleague, your friend. There was no reason to be nervous. "You're right."

He smiled, reaching across the table to squeeze your hand. He pulled it back to his side of the table as the server arrived for your drink order.

You were grateful for the glass of wine he delivered moments later, lifting it to your lips almost immediately. You knew the liquid would calm your nerves--maybe then you wouldn't embarrass yourself.

"I'm glad you agreed to have dinner with me," Nick said softly as he sipped his own glass of wine.

"I was a little surprised, in all honesty."

"That I asked or that you agreed?" he teased lightly.

You smiled. "Definitely the former."

"I hate seeing you upset," he admitted. "I thought I might be able to cheer you up a little."

"Thanks, Nick. You're a good friend."

His face fell slightly, but he quickly hid it behind a soft smile. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Whatever he was going to ask was cut off by the arrival of the server to take your food order.

As soon as the server left the table, Nick leaned forward and lowered his voice. "What did he say to you that hurt you so much?"

"What?"

"Your ex."

Your expression shifted and you looked down at the table. "It doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"Why?"

"Because whatever he said hurt you--and I'm willing to bet my career that he was wrong."

Your eyes snapped back up to meet his. His expression was deadly serious, yet it somehow put you at ease in a way only Nick could. "He said some unpleasant things about my physical appearance that I could have lived without hearing."

Surprise lit up his handsome face. "Unpleasant things about your appearance? I'll bet my life he was wrong."

Now it was your turn to be surprised. "I wouldn't make that bet, Nick."

"I'm confident. Tell me what he said and I'll judge for myself."

You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before giving him a quick overview. "Essentially he said I'm unattractive and fat--I recall the word 'gross' being used as well."

Nick's temper flared instantly, the urge to punch that son of a bitch in the face nearly overwhelming. "He said what?"

Even if you didn't know Nick, you would have been able to see the rage simmering in his eyes, hear it in his tone. "It's not a big deal."

"If he was here, I'd launch him through a window. Bastard."

"I'm okay," you reassured him quietly.

Your soft voice grounded him, as it so often did, and he felt his anger dissipating. He was still angry, but the urge to hunt that asshole down had begun to fade.

"He was wrong, you know."

"Huh?"

"He was wrong. Not only are you one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on, but your body is perfectly proportioned--deliciously soft and curvy. You're about as far from gross as a human being can be."

He spoke with such conviction, such assuredness, that you almost believed him--almost.

"While I appreciate the compliment, Nick, you've never seen me naked...your opinion would change, trust me."

Nick's eyes flared with a new kind of intensity. "I highly doubt that."

"His did," you said quietly.

"He clearly didn't know what he had."

Your eyes met his, shoulders tense, discomfort obvious in every movement you made.

"Listen to me, (Y/N). I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe me--I think you're gorgeous. Stunning. Elegante. Sin fin perfecta." [Elegant. Endlessly perfect.] He reached for your hand and you let him take it in his. "You are a prize, (Y/N). Any man worth a damn would be honored to call you his."

You didn't know what to say. His words surprised you and warmed your soul at the same time. You could also feel the familiar tightening in your gut, accompanied by an entire swarm of butterflies dancing in your stomach.

"Forget every terrible thing he ever said to you, hermosa. Let me fill your mind with praise. Let me remind you of your beauty, inside and out, of your brilliance, of your kindness, your empathy...of all the little things that make you the incredible woman you are."

"Nick..." you whispered, his name the only coherent thing you were able to utter.

The moment was shattered by the arrival of your food. You'd been hungry when you sat down at the table, but your body was now flooded with a very different kind of hunger--a hunger you now believed Nick shared.

"Thank you, Nick," you said softly. "I know it's not nearly enough, but thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I meant every word."

You gave him a small smile. "Still..."

He returned the expression.

The two of you ate in silence for several minutes, minds clearly elsewhere. After a while, Nick noticed you'd done more moving the food around the plate than actually eating and he called you out on it.

"Eat your food, querida. You'll need your strength."

Your head snapped up, eyes meeting his gaze. "For what?"

He leaned forward. "If you'll let me, I'm going to spend several hours showing you exactly how sexy I think you are."

You gulped. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

He grinned wolfishly. "By worshipping that amazing body of yours...over and over again, until you're screaming my name."

You suddenly found it very difficult to breathe, let alone eat. Nick, on the other hand, went right back to eating his food as if he hadn't just threatened you with an incredibly good time.

You had to force yourself to focus on your food, desperately trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs.

As soon as the meal was over, Nick asked for the check and paid, revealing just how desperate he was to get back to your place.

Once again, he helped you into the car, only this time his hand lingered on the small of your back.

Anticipation flooded through you as Nick drove through the streets of the city. You'd wanted him for so long--never once thinking he'd reciprocate the desire. Despite his words earlier in the evening, you still felt a shred of self-doubt...worrying he might not find you as attractive once you were naked.

"Where's that pretty head at, querida?" he asked softly, noticing your anxiety.

"Can you promise me something?"

"Of course."

"If you don't want to go through with this...you know, when you see me without my clothes on...please just tell me. I don't want you to feel like you have to do something you don't wanna do."

He reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. "I don't have to promise that because I know what I want, (Y/N)...and that's you. You could be a alien underneath those clothes and I'd still want you."

You laughed lightly. "I promise I'm not an alien."

He grinned. "Then we're gonna be just fine, baby."

You closed your eyes, silently willing yourself to believe him. You trusted him with your life--something you'd never experienced with any of your past relationships. Every fiber of your being told you Nick would never hurt you on purpose--never. You just needed to trust him--let go of your pain and give in to your desires.

When you finally made it back to your apartment, Nick gave you a gentle reminder. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to, (Y/N)."

"I want to," you whispered.

He inhaled slowly and took a step towards you. "Say 'no' or 'stop' and I'll stop immediately, okay? No hard feelings--I won't push you."

"I don't want to say no, Nick."

He took another step towards you, effectively backing you against the wall. "If you wanna stop--"

"Nick, please just kiss me," you begged softly.

He groaned softly before leaning in to press his lips to yours. His kiss was like fire and ice--more addictive than any drug known to man. He kissed you like you were the air he needed to breathe--like he would rather suffocate to death than stop.

He pressed his warm body against yours, wedging his knee between your thighs to keep you from squeezing them together. His tongue tangled with yours, quickly asserting dominance as he deepened the kiss.

Your hands went to the buttons on his white button down, quickly undoing them in a desperate need to feel his skin. He helped you remove the shirt, followed by his undershirt, leaving his toned chest bare for you to see.

You bit your lip and stifled a soft groan as you appreciated his form.

"You can touch me, querida," he said softly. "I wanna feel your soft hands on my skin."

You did as he asked, hands gliding over his smooth, tan skin. He sighed softly and leaned into your touch, lips grazing your jaw affectionately.

Your hands traveled to his hips and you began to loosen his belt. He allowed you to unbutton his pants and he helped you remove them.

"I think you're a bit overdressed for the occasion, hermosa," he teased huskily.

You tensed slightly, a feeling of dread washing over you.

Of course, Nick felt it and instantly began to sooth your worries. "You can keep on as much as you want, querida, but I want to see you. I've wanted to touch you like this since the day I met you. But if you're more comfortable keeping your clothes on, that's alright."

You looked up at him, his dark eyes warm and honest. You took a deep breath and pushed him back slightly, giving yourself the room to pull your dress off over your head.

You dropped your dress to the ground, but your eyes didn't meet his gaze--you couldn't even bring yourself to look at his face, too afraid of what you might see there.

"Querida, por favor," Nick whispered. "Look at me."

You looked up at him slowly, a soft gasp leaving your lips as you took in his hungry expression.

"I wanna kiss every square inch of your beautiful body, hermosa. Will you let me?"

You nodded tentatively.

"I need to hear you say it, baby," he pleaded.

"I want you Nick, please."

He groaned and pressed his body against yours again. "Say that again, querida."

"I want you," you whispered.

"Fuck--" He slammed his lips against yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth almost immediately. You melted in his arms, reveling in the feeling of his body against yours.

He finally pulled away to catch his breath, but his hands didn't leave your body. Now that he'd touched you so intimately, he never wanted to stop.

"Come with me," he whispered, before guiding you to your bedroom. "Lay down on the bed for me, querida."

You did as he asked, noticing how his eyes never left your body.

He made sure you were looking at him before he began to lower his boxer briefs, slowly revealing his large cock. He was already painfully hard, a bead of precum lingering at the tip.

You licked your lips in anticipation, an action he noticed with pride.

"Like what you see, hermosa?"

"Very much so."

He smiled and climbed onto the bed, covering your soft body with his hard one. "May I take off your bra?"

You nodded.

"Baby..." he said in a clear warning tone.

You understood his meaning instantly, a flood of arousal going straight to your core at the order. "Yes, papi."

His eyes widened for a moment, surprised and pleased at your use of the title. "Such a good girl, aren't you?"

A soft moan left your lips at the praise and he smiled to himself, pleased he was able to suss out what you liked.

His hand snaked around your back, deftly unclasping your bra with surprising ease. The moment your breasts were bared to his gaze, his mouth descended on you, taking a pert nipple into his mouth.

You moaned softly, fingers intertwining into his dark locks. His lips and hands massaged your breasts, giving them equal attention. True to his word, he moved tantalizingly slowly down your body, kissing every inch of skin he could, while avoiding where you needed him most.

By the time he made his way back up to your face, you were begging him to touch your pussy--pleading for some relief.

"Nick, please--I need you."

"What did you call me?" he asked harshly.

Your eyes widened lustfully. "I'm sorry, papi!"

He smiled, ghosting his fingers across your still-clothed pussy. "That's my good girl."

You whimpered at the feather-light touches he placed to your mound, desperate for more. "Please, papi."

"Hmm? Qué deseas?" [What do you want?]

"Please touch me," you begged.

"I am touching you, querida."

"More, papi. Please!"

He smiled. "Normally I'd take my time teasing you--making you beg for what you want...but if I'm being honest, I'm as desperate to touch you as you are to feel it, so I'll be nice to you this time."

He tugged your panties off quickly before spreading your thighs as wide as he could, revealing your dripping wet folds.

"All this for me, baby?" he growled.

"Only you, papi," you responded.

"Yeah? No one else makes you this wet?"

You shook your head vehemently. "No one else."

"Now I have one rule, hermosa. I wanna hear you--every little sound coming out of that pretty mouth. Be as loud as you want. Entiendes?" [Understand?]

"Si, papi," you whimpered.

He smirked as he lowered himself down onto the bed between your legs. His strong hands gripped your hips and he tugged you as close to his face as he could before diving into your pussy with a deep groan of pleasure.

You gasped at the sensation, the sound quickly becoming moans of enjoyment. Nick was quite skilled with his mouth--his tongue alone made you feel things you'd never before experienced.

Your fingers tangled into his hair, tugging at the roots as you desperately sought your release.

Nick held you in place as he continued his assault on your pussy, ensuring he had complete control over your pleasure.

"Feels so good," you gasped. "Gonna cum, papi."

He groaned against your clit, the vibrations sending a shockwave of pleasure through your body. He could feel how close you were by the way your thighs tried to close and your grip on his hair tightened.

Your moans became more desperate--needy, and he slid two fingers into your pussy, gently pressing into your g-spot rapidly.

You cried out, legs shaking slightly, seconds before your orgasm ripped through you like a tidal wave. His name left your lips in a gasped scream as he worked you through your high, only stopping when you began to squirm away.

You were completely breathless when he lifted his head, mouth and chin soaked in your juices. He licked his lips and wiped his mouth on his hand, licking it clean as he maintained eye contact with you. "You taste so good baby...I can't get enough."

You reached for him and he obliged, leaning forward to kiss you softly. You tasted yourself on his lips and tongue, a soft sound of pleasure escaping into his mouth.

"Querida," he whispered against your lips. "I need to be inside you."

"Please," you whimpered.

"Do you have protection?"

"I'm on the pill..."

"I'm clean," he assured you.

"Me too."

He lined his cock up with your entrance and looked back up at your face. "Are you sure, hermosa?"

"Si papi. I want you to fuck me."

He groaned softly before thrusting into you, sheathing himself fully inside of you in one swift movement.

You cried out, the stretch both overwhelming and extremely pleasurable all at once. You clutched his neck and he breathed deeply, trying to calm his racing heart.

"You can move," you whispered.

"Not yet, querida. I need a moment."

"Are you okay?" you asked in concern.

"Your pussy feels so damn incredible, baby...I'm just trying to control myself so I don't hurt you."

You bit your lip and lifted his face up to look at you. "I like a little bit of pain, papi." You clenched your pussy tightly for emphasis.

"Mierda," he ground out. "You sure?"

"Fuck me senseless, Nick. Por favor."

As much as he loved you calling him 'papi', hearing you say his name like that made him feral. He pulled out and thrust back in harshly, starting a fast, hard pace.

"Baby, say my name again," he begged.

"Nick," you moaned lowly.

"Fuck." He was fucking you like it was the last thing he was ever going to do and you'd never experienced anything like it.

You felt the coil tightening in your abdomen, and for the first time in your life, you knew you were going to cum during penetration. Your moans were loud enough to wake the neighbors, your nails dug into his muscular back, and your pussy had his cock in a vice grip.

"You gonna cum for me, (Y/N)?"

You nodded rapidly, unable to voice a response. The only thing coming out of your mouth was a string of incoherent moans and pleas.

"I wanna feel you cum, baby. Cubre mi polla." [Coat my cock.]

"Nick!" you whined.

"What do you need, querida? Tell me."

"More," you whimpered.

He slipped his hand between your bodies and began to gently massage your clit. "This what you need, baby?"

"Nick!" you screamed. "Don't stop!"

"That's it, baby. That's it. I've got you. Cum for me, querida. Ven por mí." [Come for me.]

You cried out in ecstasy as the waves of pleasure overwhelmed your senses. You clung to him desperately, as if he was a life raft while you were adrift in the ocean.

He began to chase his own high as you came down, your awareness coming back to you. His thrusts were fast and rough, his breathing ragged.

"I want you to cum for me, papi. Fill me up," you begged.

"Dios mio! You feel so good, baby. Wanna cum for you."

You clenched your pussy as tightly as you could, desperate for him to enjoy this as much as you did.

"(Y/N)!" he cried out as he came, his hot seed filling you up.

His thrusts slowed and faltered before he finally collapsed on top of you, breathless and satiated.

You held him close, running your fingers through his hair as he caught his breath. You were a little worried he would regret this now that it was over, but your fears were assuaged the moment he lifted his head to look at you.

His beautiful brown eyes were warm and loving as he gazed at you, happiness and contentment clear in his expression. "That was incredible," he murmured softly.

You blushed slightly. "You were incredible."

"As were you, querida."

He pressed his lips to yours as he pulled himself up. He rolled onto his side and pulled you with him, so your head rested against his chest.

"I'm thinking we take a power nap, then we go for round two," Nick said softly.

"Round two?!"

He grinned. "I did promise you I was gonna worship this sexy body of yours for hours."

"I didn't think you were serious, Nick," you said with a chuckle.

"Oh, baby, I'm always serious about worshipping you. I think you'll learn that very quickly."

You smiled and kissed his chest softly. You debated whether you wanted to voice the question that popped into your head, but once again, Nick beat you to it.

"You know this isn't a one time thing, right?" Nick asked gently. "I mean, unless you want it to be."

You looked up at him, expression soft and affectionate. "I was actually just going to ask you that."

He grinned. "So...you saying you might wanna see me again?"

"I see you every day, Nick," you teased.

"I mean like this, hermosa. Naked in your bed, making you scream my name, giving you as much pleasure as your pretty little body will take."

Your breath hitched in your chest, giving away just how badly you wanted that. "That too."

He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. "If I'm lucky, you'll let me take you out more too. Dinner, dancing, walks in the park, musicals...whatever you want. Wherever you go, I want to be there too."

Your eyes widened in surprise and tears filled them. You'd never had someone speak to you the way Nick did, let alone want to be with you in the way he just described.

"Querida," he whispered as he wiped your eyes. "Don't cry."

"Tears of joy," you assured him. "I promise."

His expression warmed, filling with the love and admiration he clearly felt for you. "So you'll be mine then? Exclusively?"

Your lips parted and you smiled. "I would love that."

He smiled back. "Thank god...because whether you knew it or not, I've been yours exclusively for the past year."

"What?"

He blushed slightly. "I...well I've wanted to be with you since my marriage fell apart, but I didn't want you to think you were some kind of rebound, so I kept myself professional. It's gotten harder and harder to do and then seeing you dating someone who treated you so terribly knowing full-well I would die for you made it nearly impossible."

"I didn't know," you whispered.

"I went to great lengths to make sure of that," Nick said softly. "But now that I have you? Now that I know what it's like to touch you, hold you, kiss you, make love to you? Baby, I can't walk away. You're stuck with me."

You pulled yourself up into a sitting position, straddling his strong body. You leaned down to kiss him softly, pouring all of your emotion into the kiss. "There's no one I'd rather be stuck with, Nick Amaro," you whispered against his lips.

He grinned and wrapped his arms around you, kissing you with as much passion as he could muster. He was determined to spend every minute of the rest of his life making sure you knew how incredible you were, how much he appreciated you, and how madly in love with you he would always be.

#nick amaro x reader #nick amaro x reader smut #nick amaro x plus size reader #nick amaro x plus size reader smut #nick amaro smut #law and order svu #law and order svu smut

248 notes · View notes

verosikastrikerstellaexcuser · 3 months

Note

Adding on to previous anon, can the fandom please explain why it's *Stella's* fault they were forced into a child marriage? Can they explain why it's *her* fault they were forced to conceive an heir? If anything, it's both their parent's fault.

The more they present Stella as just a heartless creature, the more tragic she becomes. Now she was a little girl with visible anger issues, and *nobody* bothered to help her or care for her as a person, just as an incubator. This is why she's wasted because she could have been a great example of generational trauma AND an example of a female abuser

This is what I've always thought and I've said it on here before that its appalling to portray a victim of an arranged marriage whos even more disadvantaged by it than the man like this show does (since St*las gets the whole house in the divorce but Stellas only option was to marry him so she could never own her own property, basically Stella has no property rights much like women used to not historically). The St*las stans just don't. Fucking. Get it. They say you're an abuse apologist and that its ridiculous that "Stella fans can't accept that sometimes women are just bad people" yes we fucking can. I'd have no issues with a female Alastor, for example. But the issue with Stella is that since birth shes been a victim of so much heinous shit, and yet shes BLAMED for it by the show and Viv etc like WTH?

The issue isn't that Stella is as an abuser. But that wasn't set up and done properly, much like many things in this show. The way shes mean to Stolas "just because" is fucking nuts. Like what do you mean just because? Yes, some abusers are abusers just because. But that doesn't work when Stella had 0 choice in marrying St*las like huh!? Shes been valued as nothing more than a baby incubator and for her looks since birth. She never had control over her own future in life and if she never wanted to be a mother, tough. If they had written her as being angry about that and then taking it out on St*las it wouldn't have pissed me off. What pisses me off is that the show and the fanbase is encouraged to act like shes a heinous bitch on the level of someone like VALENTINO. Nope, nope nope nope. A woman forced to bear a child with a man she didn't want to by her family is not on that same fucking level. Her abusing the man who also had no choice isn't right but she still never could have been "horrible just because". She is not Jack Horner from Puss In Boots. A victim of a forced arranged marriage could never be that, because Jack Horner type characters are evil just because they love to be despite stable happy upbringings, while Stella has like 5000 reasons to be evil. Which, let me preface with, I'm not saying it would make her abuse of St*las justified then. But it WOULD make it logical, her motivations would feel much more coherent. Instead of the show weirdly and nonsensically writing a woman being an abuser not because shes lashing out at being the victim of an arranged marriage but just because "shes evil" and the arranged marriage never affected her.

She should have been a sympathetic antagonist if they wanted to be her one. But instead the show and Viv encourages the fanbase to believe that none of what was done to her as a child affected her (yea pretty much impossible for that not to impact someone we are our upbringings and environments). We're supposed to believe she totally didn't mind being arranged married because she's mindless and just thought "oh fuck it, I mean I hate St*las and can't stand him but I'm not affected at all by being arranged married to him, and I'm not gonna mindlessly stick around to bully him muehehehe I love being brainless and hateful and evil just because!" Its such bad writing to write your female victim of an arranged marriage like this while your male one is an innocent soft uwu baby who never did anything wrong ever. Because all the arranged marriage and Stella's story boils down to is tragedy for St*las and opposition to the St*litz ship. Its so ick. Its exactly how misogynistic yaoi fanfics of the early 2010s would write women, the misogyny is completely transparent.

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss negative #hb critical #vivziepop critical #stolas negative #stolas critical #stolas hate #anti stolas #vivziepop negative #stella goetia #critical stuff

89 notes · View notes

t3a-tan · 2 months

Text

Ryker's Guilt

Ryker is just a man trying to bring change, even if that means being a bad person. Here's what happened with Sammy and Tanner but from his perspective! Enjoy ^^

-----

Ryker really hadn't meant for this to happen. When he had been told that Cody's mortal child was on Earth he had expected a human. When the people he sent to retrieve her came back with three tiny people he wasn't sure how to react. This was not ideal given his plans, but when the man he hired offered to kill the two tiny children he instinctively decided to keep them.

For the first few days he wasn't sure how to go about things. Ryker knew he was not a good person— it was his burden to bear, and after doing so many heinous things for his research in the hopes that maybe he could make a breakthrough that would stop this damn war he had become numb to it.

He left the children alone, focusing on the target instead; Charlie. First things first he would need to train her so her body was in the right condition. Fighting was the first thing that came to mind… but he wasn't sure what he could make the tiny woman fight exactly.

After some research he found that there were borrower fighting events on the darker parts of the internet, and he decided to meet with one of the men behind the whole event to find out some more information.

Everything went downhill from there.

Whilst the man was inspecting the borrower woman, his guard dog suddenly jumped up and snatched her from his hands. Ryker was taken aback by the sudden attack, leaping to a stand only for it to register what was happening when small screams reached his ears. The man who had been holding Charlie simply chuckled in amusement, remarking something about his dog being hungry. Ryker sensed that it was supposed to be a joke and he felt sick.

“Drop it, boy!” The man commanded and the dog refused, growling and shaking the woman's body again. Ryker could see immediately that he could do nothing to save her in this state. She was dead. Just like that. “Sorry about that… hey uhh— how about I pay you a thousand to make up for the destruction of property and we leave it there?”

Ryker felt his anger boiling over as the incident was dismissed so easily, seething.

“If you cannot control that damned animal then don't have it out in the first place! I thought this was supposed to be professional!” He yelled, grabbing the cage that the kids were in and preparing to leave. Oh god. They saw that… they heard it. What am I doing?

“Woah. Chill out, fuck’s sake… She was older merchandise anyway, she wouldn't have been worth anything. I'd take the thousand if I were you.” He responded defensively, as if a person hadn't just died in such a cruel manner. Ryker felt an overwhelming urge to punch him in the face, but he held back, instead just shaking his head and turning to the exit.

He quickly returned back to his lab, placing the cage down and staring at it for a while, thinking.

Now that Charlie's dead, there is no longer a reason to continue. But I can't just…stop. Because of me these children are orphans. He stood up, pacing around the room as he tried to think it all over. If I stop without actually getting any results, their deaths will have been completely needless. I have to continue.

It took weeks for him to fully commit to that decision and in the meantime he was very quiet whenever he would approach the borrower children. He had bought some chocolates and cookies and other things children liked during that time, hoping it would make them just a little less afraid. And they deserved something nice to eat after what they had been put through. By me.

Sammy was incredibly feisty with him, never letting go of her younger brother. Yet, Ryker knew for a fact that he had heard her crying most nights and the unsteadiness she held herself with was developed by fear. He found her bravery fascinating considering how small she was.

On the other hand, Tanner was much more openly timid. He had a quiet demeanour but his eyes were so observant. He could see how conflicted the young boy was over the situation; happily receiving sweets only to scramble back if Ryker's hand was the thing handing it over.

He hated this. Gods he wished he had never started researching magic in the first place. He wished he had died in the bombings like the rest of his kind. But at this point he had gone too far to stop— he had caused too much suffering and all he wanted was for it to be worth something.

He hoped that Charlie's adaptation to magic had been passed down to her kids somehow and continued his work. He went to another fighting event organiser and spoke to them, this time making sure there were no dogs present. Tanner was simply too young to participate in anything like that, but Sammy was just old enough.

He signed a contract wherein he would be paid and Sammy would be handed off to the organiser every week after she was deemed ready to participate in fights.

Ryker started her off small, bringing in bugs and forcing them to fight. If he thought she was in danger of suffering permanent damage or dying he would remove her from the glass enclosure and put her back in the following day. At times he wanted to comfort her but what was the point in pretending to be a good person? It was better if they both hated him.

Once Sammy was regularly able to kill whatever bugs he put her with, he moved on to slightly bigger things; mice and rats and lizards. She improved with incredible speed, and although she had at first seemed terrified during fights now that it had become routine she just looked determined.

After she had killed whatever it was that Ryker had paired her with that day she would look up at him with a deathly glare, catching her breath. He would simply stare back at her, wondering what she was thinking. Perhaps she was imagining him on the other end of the needle instead of a rat. Sometimes he would imagine the same thing.

Eventually he handed her off to Joseph Wells, the organiser he signed a contract with. Ryker would attend Sammy's fights and watch, disturbed at the way the other spectators looked on with gleeful and amused expressions. He would keep a calm and unaffected frown on his face, arms crossed in contemplation.

When the Kriegerin project was still running many many years ago Ryker used to watch those fights. They were violent and full of death…but it was not for entertainment. It was a necessary evil that Ryker had never claimed to enjoy.

Now, sitting amongst the crowd of humans, Ryker felt anger growing inside of him; resentment. But this was needed for Sammy to be strong enough— if she could not fight well then there would be no point in giving the serum to her. Giving someone magic without ensuring that they would be capable of using it was useless.

In the meantime, Ryker pondered on what to do with Tanner. He wasn't a good candidate for magic as far as he could tell; much too soft. And it would take years before the proper preparations could be made anyway. But could he just treat him nicely?

No. Of course not.

If he started to treat Tanner with kindness whilst putting Sammy through the fighting and humiliation he had signed her up for, that would cause a wedge in their relationship. It was better for them both to hate him than for them to hate each other, and as bad as he felt for doing it he kept reminding himself of how far he was.

There were many times where he considered stopping altogether. Sometimes Tanner would end up falling asleep in his hand whilst he was scribbling down notes and Ryker could feel the guilt overwhelming him all over again. Sometimes he would stare at the pistol in his drawer and consider using it…but it felt selfish to give himself a way out like that.

He felt so frustrated with himself that sometimes it would end up being directed at the children. He felt bad every time he snapped— he would never yell at them but sometimes he was surprised by the words coming out of his mouth. He had never hurt them either. Even if he didn't want them to like him, the thought of doing something like that intentionally made him sick to his stomach.

Sammy had become well known within borrower fighting events, but she had also become more withdrawn. She was as feisty as ever; loud and abrasive towards him for understandable reasons, but Ryker had noticed a shift when he had started to leave her with Wells for longer in between events.

He asked the organiser if something had happened and got a no in response, so he let it be. Almost two years passed before he finally found out the truth.

Sammy had suddenly broken down when Ryker held her down on the desk to take her measurements again. He would measure both of them regularly, but this time was different. She wasn't fighting him in defiance like usual, this time she seemed desperate. Ryker was so taken aback that he released her immediately, watching as a panic attack claimed her.

Once she was breathing properly again, Ryker spoke.

“What happened? Are you injured?” The only thing different from him taking the measurements this time than what he usually did was that he was doing it the day after he retrieved her from Wells. She hadn't ended up participating in a fight this time so he saw no issue with it, but the only idea he had for what might be wrong is that she had been hurt and he had accidentally pressed down on an injury.

As his hands moved in to check her over he saw how she flinched away, defending herself rather than fighting back like she usually would. Ryker stopped again but his brows furrowed as he leaned down.

“Tell me. Now.” He ordered. He couldn't just sit around guessing— if something unexpected had happened he needed to deal with it immediately. If Sammy was injured he needed to treat it immediately. He didn't have time for the cat and mouse act.

She was hesitant as she recounted her experiences at the hands of Wells, and others. Ryker felt like he was in shock hearing about it— his hands withdrawing away from her immediately.

“For how long?”

Almost the whole time. Basically as soon as Ryker had been leaving her alone with the disgusting human.

“T-they said they liked my hair… I hate it now… Sometimes I just want to rip it all out…” She murmured. That was enough. This was too much. He didn't even know how to offer comfort because it was his fault in the first place. She even seemed surprised by his shock, like she thought he knew about it from the start.

That night Ryker went to Wells again; this time with a pistol tucked into his jacket. He didn't say a word when he shot him, simply making sure he was dead by making sure there were no bullets left in the chamber. He vented his anger by kicking and throwing some of his furniture around, then broke down himself.

The next day, Ryker took Sammy to the metal desk. She predictably tried to get away and he sighed, slamming his hand down in her path to throw her off before reaching down to hold her between his forefinger and thumb.

“Stop moving…”

He pinched his fingers around her waist to keep her still and pulled out a pocket knife. At first she struggled, startled by the large blade as he brought it closer, seemingly thinking he was going to stab her.

“Shh. It's for your hair.” He didn't bring it any closer yet, waiting for her to stop squirming so he wouldn't accidentally cut her. He paused for a moment, thinking. “Do you…want me to cut it? If you don't, I won't.”

It was one of the first times he had ever asked for permission, but in this situation he felt it was appropriate. Sammy slowly stopped struggling, peering up at him with confusion. Ryker was frowning but he looked sincere…so she nodded.

He brought the knife closer, slowly, before carefully cutting at the tiny girl's hair. He wasn't a professional by any means and it looked messy, but he tried to keep it even. Once he was done he put her back and left both borrowers alone, only getting close when he was giving them food or water.

It was quiet again. Just like when Charlie died. Ryker could feel his motivation to continue dwindling with each passing day. When Tanner managed to escape and ended up being exposed to the serum Ryker could do nothing about it besides keep Sammy from seeing. With Tanner gone Sammy had become depressed and unresponsive.

After a month of this, Ryker decided to give Sammy the serum. Because of all the training then it should hopefully be compatible rather than doing what it did to Tanner. Ryker didn't even know for certain what had happened to him, just that his body had started to glitch and destabilise, before disappearing entirely.

He was wrong. The same thing happened to Sammy. Somehow the glitches didn't spread over her whole body, but instead it was her left arm that was affected. It wasn't bleeding, but it was no longer there. That was his final straw.

Ryker managed to make a tiny bionic limb to replace the arm that was lost, and although he noticed Sammy had some physical changes after being exposed to the serum; her eyes changing colour and her hair starting to grow in a much lighter colour; he saw no signs of her being able to use magic. It had all been for nothing.

He apologised over and over again despite knowing he could not be forgiven. He destroyed his notes and burned his research in frustration, not knowing what to do now that he was giving up. There was no reason to make Sammy hate him anymore, but there was also no reason for her to not hate him. Where else could she go though?

Because of him she was alone.

When she escaped, Ryker searched everywhere for her, worried that she would get hurt out there. He had seen just how disgusting humans could be— and what if one found her? She hated him, yes, but ultimately she would be safer with him. He wouldn't keep her in a cage or anything anymore, he just wanted to do something to make up for everything he had done.

There was no trace of Sammy anywhere.

Ryker was alone again.

#g/t community #ocs #g/t artist #g/t writer #g/t #borrowers #giant/tiny #g/t fearplay #g/t art #g/t writing #g/t angst #giant/tiny writing #giant/tiny art

64 notes · View notes

spidey-555 · 7 months

Text

Things I hope the devs of CotL don't do, but a part of me feels like they'll do anyways (or might already be doing):

Revive Ratau if we chose to sacrifice him. Like I said on a previous post, it would invalidate the weight of our decision, and would open the floodgates of "can we undo other heinous actions we do?" If yes, then why should we care about the events of the game if they can all just be undone?

Make the bishops so unlikable and unsympathetic to the point where the audience ceases to care about them. I know they already aren't the most likable characters due to their abrasive personalities (excluding Shamura), but people still find them tragic, so taking away that would just be the nail in the coffin. Unfortunately, this one already seems to be happening, if the description for the graphic novel is anything to go by.

Make Narinder seem like the good guy or otherwise have the story take a side in the whole "sealing of the one who waits" debacle. This kind of ties in when the previous bullet point (especially with the "already happening in the graphic novel" thing), but if they did this, it would feel like they're just pandering to the Narilamb fans by having the story bend over backwards for it.

Have the Lamb be this flawless, unstoppable, and perfect being who everyone (except bad people) loves and will never lose ever. This one is kind of self explanatory. If the devs decide to go this route, then I feel many people would cease caring about the conflicts if this game. After all, if the Lamb can't lose ever, then what's the point of caring about any the conflicts in this game of the Lamb? I will admit that this one is more of a "me" thing than anything else

Cure the bishops of their disabilities. Heal the injuries, sure, but not the disabilities, please. In my opinion, it would be very ableist to do this, as it would imply that the only way for the bishops to be truly happy is them being cured of their disabilities.

Have there be a "canon" interpretation of the Lamb. At the end of the day, the Lamb is a player-insert character, and the fun about those characters is that they can essentially be anyone and can have many interpretations. Making a "canon" Lamb would take away the fun of those characters. This ties into the other Lamb related bullet point somewhat.

Have the Fox and Midas become followers once we beat them. This is assuming we fight them at all, of course. This one is also very opinionated. I feel like getting them as a follower would be bad because it would A) imply they have a chance at redemption and personally I like the fact that we have at least 2 villains we can just hate (here's hoping to more!) B) let us treat them however we want, which means they could not get the punishment they deserve. And before someone says that you can do the same with the bishops (the whole "not getting the punishment they deserve" thing), they already suffered in purgatory, which counts as punishment imo.

Rely too much on toilet and "naked people are funny" humor. This one is another opinionated one. Personally, I'd prefer if we got more character-based humor (hell, maybe some surreal humor as well) than humor that only a child would laugh at. I do want to post this one on the suggestions channel, but I'm afraid of the backlash.

I'll probably add more onto this when it comes to mind

#cult of the lamb #cotl leshy #cotl lamb #cotl shamura #cotl narinder #cotl heket #cotl kallamar #cotl ratau #cotl fox #cotl the fox #cotl midas

99 notes · View notes

finniestoncrane · 6 months

Note

Regarding Black Mask having sadistic kinks…he would totally give his partner instructions that are impossible to follow (telling them not to make any noise and then doing something guaranteed to make them moan/scream) just so he can punish them when they can’t do it

Keep Quiet

Arkham!Black Mask x GN!Reader, word count: 1.4k ok be nice to me be kind to me this is my first black mask thing, and i gotta be honest, it's nice to write someone being a complete bastard who just is a complete bastard. reader has been paid by roman in an undisclosed agreement to be his little puppy, but he might be a bit rougher than they imagined... 💀 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: mentions of a monetary arrangement, sub/dom dynamics, rough oral sex, spanking, slapping, humiliation, degradation, sadomasichism, crying, pet play

"Keep. Quiet."

Those were the key words, the rules you were given. They'd been printed on the bottom of the invite card. They were uttered to you by the henchman who was posted at the door to the office. And Roman Sionis himself had uttered them slowly, cruelly, as he watched you undress and guided you to the slick, black platform in the middle of the room.

"Keep quiet. Don't make a sound. I'd hate to have to punish ya."

He turned on his heel, bright red flashing on the bottom of the polished, black leather dress shoes. With a dry chuckle, he turned again, leaning down once more so his face was level with yours where you lay face down on the platform in the middle of the room, though his was hidden behind the matte black skull mask he wore.

"I lied. Punishin' ya would be... well it'd be pretty fuckin' good. But I'm feelin' generous tonight, y'know?"

You nodded, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, as you realised that perhaps the reward here didn't quite make up for the risk. You got money, you got pleasure. But you potentially lost everything at the hands of Black Mask. Violent, notorious, and unpredictable.

Or maybe, you considered, it was worth the risk, given how quickly you felt the pit of your stomach warm, how your heartbeat skipped slightly, how your arousal tingled through you at the thought of those last three attributes. Handsome, yes. Rich, of course. Powerful, naturally. But those were nowhere near as arousing as the volatile behaviour you'd heard tell of being exhibited by Roman in the past. You wanted to experience that for yourself, truth be told. Apathetic, yes. But curious more than anything.

You wondered why you had to be quiet. Some of the others, the ones who had been hired by Roman before, had told you that he had the room bugged. That suggested that perhaps a loud scream might not be picked up well on the mics and would ruin his recording. But then why would he bug the room if he didn’t want any sound? Unless he just wanted to hear himself… But this was Roman Sionis. If he wanted to record any kind of sound, he wouldn’t do it covertly, and certainly not with anything less than the best equipment.

So was it perhaps something to do with the fact that you were in his office, within his building? His employees were right there, just beyond the walls. Maybe he would be embarrassed if they heard what was going on? But of course, he wouldn’t be. Either the walls were soundproofed to allow him to be as heinous as he wanted, or, more likely, they were paper thin so everyone could hear exactly what was going on. After all, who of his employees was going to risk saying anything to him.

And then, you settled on the realisation that it was control. He had control over you completely. From how much you wore, to where you lay, to how much sound you could make in his presence, regardless of what kind of damage he intending to inflict on you. No one spoke back to him, least of all the playthings he was paying. You were there to lay still and be keep quiet. So you close your eyes, letting your body, laying face down, sink into the surface of the podium you had been so sarcastically placed upon, and considered what might be about to happen to you.

Just as your mind began to wander further, causing your heart rate to increase, you felt the sharp, smooth crack of his palm against your rear. The flesh on one of your cheeks heated immediately in response to the smack. You didn’t have time to process the sudden invasion of your personal space before Roman was smacking the other side. His hand switched between your two cheeks, covering your ass in deep, rounded welts as his leather glove came into contact with your red, trembling skin. Over and over, the pain getting stronger either through the repetitive nature or the increase in force, in violence, behind his smacks. Until he suddenly stopped, his heavy breaths getting louder as he walked around you, his finger stroking along your curves as he made his way around to your head.

“Roll over.”

You did as he instructed, and were met with cruelty even then.

“Good dog. Do you know any more tricks then?”

You couldn’t tell whether you should answer or not, so you stayed silent, staring into what you could make out of his eyes beneath the dark mask. With a surprisingly gentle hand, he let his fingers spread through your hair, stroking it, soothing you almost, before he gripped it close to your scalp and tugged sharply. As he pulled your body towards him, you scrambled on your palms, trying to pull your body up the platform, closer to him, where he wanted you to be, until you were laying with your head completely off the edge. Upside down. Waiting for his next move. You opened your mouth to speak, to protest the uncomfortable position, but you were stunned back into silence as his palm cracked your face.

“Don’t even think about talkin’, sweetheart. Keep. Quiet. Keep fuckin’ quiet.”

You nodded, the sting of tears forming in the corners of your eyes. You worried that he might offer further punishment for this display of emotion, but instead he crouched down once again to your level and tutted.

“You dumb animal. Not quite as clever as I thought you were, huh pooch?”

He watched as you swallowed your nerves, throat tensing with the motion.

“Nervous, eh? Good. You should be.”

He placed a finger between your sternum, following it to between your collarbones, then trailing it up your throat to your chin as you watched him, his eyes keeping focus on where he was touching you.

“You know, if there’s one thing I truly hate…”

Roman paused, licking the lips of his mask, eyes narrowing as he took in your pitiful form before him.

“… it’s a puppy who isn’t housebroken.”

His fingers were suddenly tensing, putting pressure on your throat. Constricting your breathing ever so slightly. Enough to cause you to panic before you tried to calm yourself down, preserving the remaining breath in your lungs.

“You gonna whine, little puppy? You gonna howl an’ cry?”

Working against the strength of his grip, you managed to shake your head, a gesture which was met with a deep, dark chuckle from Roman.

“Good. I don’t have time to go take you to be put down.”

Your tears welled up as his grip got tighter, but you fought against the instinct to raise your hands and pull him away from you. If you could just see it through, keep calm, stay still, it’d be over soon. And it was. He let go, leaning forward to admire the dark imprints his fingers had left on your skin.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

A rhetorical question. He knew by the streaks of tears that were stinging your eyes as gravity carried them back towards them that it had been an ordeal.

“I told ya. I paid for ya, I ain’t gonna break ya. Not this soon, anyway. Not before I’ve had my fun.”

Your pupils widened as he brought his hands to the zipper at the front of his white, pinstripe pants. He reached his fingers inside the fabric and pulled out his cock, fingers wrapped around the base as he approached you. Inhaling only through your nose, you tried to keep your mouth closed, silently signalling to him your thoughts on what he was proposing. But he wasn’t proposing it, and he had no intentions of asking for your opinion.

He forced his cock into your mouth, pushing it between your lightly pursed lips, his head hitting the back of your throat as he pushed his entire length into you. There was no hesitation, no hint of him letting up despite the fact that you were now quietly choking on him. When you gagged and let out a whine, an involuntary noise, he whipped his cock out of your throat, drool spilling onto your face.

“If I have to tell you again, you are gonna be one sorry pup.”

Pressing a finger to your lips, you watched in silence as his cock twitched, clearly aroused by the control he held over you.

“Keep. Quiet.”

#black mask #roman sionis #finnie writes #arkham black mask #black mask fanfiction #black mask x reader #black mask x you #black mask fic #roman sionis x reader #roman sionis fic

109 notes · View notes

trasheatingcrybaby · 3 months

Text

☆~JAX REF SHEET~☆

He totally hasn't done heinous things! *cough cough*

[SAME AU AS MY ZOOBLE DESIGN!]

☆EXTRA INFO BELOW THE CUT☆

☆MORE OF THE AU☆

This is for a new AU I'm doing where I'm just kinda goofing around, I don't have a strong premise, story, or theme, I'm just having fun! Though, one fact I can tell you about this Jax is he is a perfomer at the circus! But there was a problem. Caine favoured Kaufmo over him, so out of jealousy he, let's just say, puts Kaufmo to sleep for a really long time. Now he's famous and popular and one of the most beloved members of the circus! Nobody else knows what happened to Kaufmo. He's presumed 'missing'

I allow fanart, headcanons and all sorts, I have no real boundaries except for sending me NSFW as I'm a minor, and that's just illegal. Though I'd like credit, if you were to post such content, tag it appropriately or better yet, don't post it.

ZOOBLE REF SHEET -

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc au #tadc jax #jax #the amazing digital circus jax #jax fanart #AU Jax #the amazing digital circus AU #digital art #artists on tumblr

41 notes · View notes

peachymilkandcream · 7 months

Text

Fraud|Part 3|Yandere All Might x Hero!Reader

(A/N: Super naïve readers are always so much fun. The fact that this girl just worships the ground he walks on when he's like this is honestly great. Hope you enjoy and comment to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: implied noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, graphic depictions of violence, mind breaking, misogyny, power imbalance, age difference, etc.

===============================================

"But All Might promised me! He said if I did as he asked then I would be let go! This isn't fair!" The criminal kicked and screamed, enraged that his interrogation was not going as planned.

All Might scoffed, the fool honestly believed that the Symbol of Peace and Justice would allow any criminals to walk free even if he had made some kind of deal? It was his own fault for being so greedy, believing that the Number One Hero would pay him to intimidate a fellow pro.

He should add stupidity to his list of crimes.

"Now not another word of you with this ridiculous tale. Why would All Might hire a thug like you and then turn him in? It makes no sense, how do you expect me to buy that outrageous story?"

"It's the truth I'm telling you, he approached me saying this chick he knew had something of his and he wanted me to get it back. He couldn't do it himself since he didn't want to damage his reputation so he hired me. He promised me my freedom and five hundred bucks!"

"To go and buy more of those drugs you're on that made you come up with this story? Seriously kid, you're trying my patience, if we don't get some answers soon it'll be a lot worse for you in court."

"I am telling you the truth! Why won't you believe me!?"

"Because criminal scum like you always try and defame All Might so he has to retire. It's disgusting."

"He's not the man you think he is! He'll do what it takes to get his way!"

"Enough of this." All Might spoke now, stepping into the room. His smile gone from his face and replaced by an angry glare. "Your attempts to soil my name have gone far enough." He glances at the Detective. "Could I have a moment alone with the suspect? I can get him to talk."

"Oh, sure All Might-" He sheepishly gathers his things before exiting the room, leaving the two of them alone.

"Now listen here you asshole, our deal was that if I did what you said you'd pay me and I'd split. What the hell is this?"

"Shut your mouth criminal. I would never agree to such heinous actions, and if you keep spouting off that I do then..I guess I'll have to adjust your behaviour."

The threat was heavy in the air. While All Might said nothing incriminating the other man knew that he meant it. And with a hero like All Might, a physical altercation is the last thing he wanted.

"So I suggest, when that Detective walks in here, you confess it was out of pure greed and some drug money, and we'll leave it at that. You can go to court and pay for your other crimes."

"And if I don't take the fall for you?"

Even his grimaces vanishes, turning into a thin line. "Then I suppose I'll show you what happens to those who spew out utter nonsense."

=============================================

"Ah Detective, the criminal confessed, but only after attacking me. He got so upset that no one believed his story that he just sprung into action. Admittedly I roughed him up a bit to teach him a lesson, but you should find he's very cooperative now."

"What would we do without you All Might? Now this guy can stay off the streets and everyone can sleep a little easier." He salutes the hero.

"Just doing what I can citizen." His phone rings, making him pause. "I'm sorry I have to take this, do you mind?"

"Of course not, please." He gestures for All Might to pass.

Which he does quickly before holding the phone up to his ear once in a secluded spot.

"What is it Nighteye."

"Bad news for you I'm afraid."

"Really? What is it."

"Your little friend was on the news again, apparently she's been singing your praises to every camera she can find about how you saved her. She's gaining some attention."

"This is bad. Too popular and I'll have to switch targets. Especially after I already started making my move-"

"That's not the worst of it."

"Then stop stalling Nighteye and tell me!"

"She was spotted today with a man, when asked by some nosey paparazzi she admitted he was a romantic partner."

All Might's expression darkened farther, another obstacle.

"I'll take care of it."

"If you kill him it could be a problem, grief might not let her be so susceptible to your plans."

"You have a point," He thinks for a moment. "Then the course to go is to lead her in the direction I want her to go and then cut him out of her life."

"Isolate her."

"Exactly."

"Be careful All Might, you don't want to get too risky."

"Trust me I won't." He pauses, examining a letter she had sent him through his fan-mail PO box, thanking him for saving her again.

"I already know what I'm going to do."

#fraud #all might mha #yandere all might #all might x you #all might x reader #all might bnha #mha #bnha #bnha toshinori #mha toshinori #yandere all might x reader #toshinori yagi x reader #toshinori x reader #yagi toshinori #toshinori yagi x you #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha x reader

52 notes · View notes

wingsdippedingold · 4 months

Text

My statement on ACOTAR characters

(unedited; really just a brain dump)

I know I use a lot of pro and anti tags when it comes to ACOTAR, and while I do have characters I like more than others, I really just dislike them as a whole. I think the series is poorly written and SJM is the one I actually hate.

I honestly can't really criticize or defend any character properly, because the characters themselves are just deficiently made. They all come from the same dumbass author. The main thing keeping me in the fandom are the actual people in it, because they have actual thoughts that make sense, and I find discussing the topics presened entertaining. So I don't wanna hear any "Well if you hate the books so much stop talking about them" bs

I don't hate Rhysand, in fact I think he has a lot of cool moments. I like the idea of him not bowing to anyone but his own people, so he got a knee tat of Velaris (even if I think its dorky). I enjoy his outlook on what's right, and I did genuinely like him early on. But I think the way SJM writes his actions (especially political ones) and their justifications incredibly disjointed poorly thought out. I think he's wrongfully used and justified and digs people into a bad way of thinking ethically because SJM has made no move to do anything but portray him as a white knight. Had the narrative acknowledge some of the things he's done as actually bad, in fact that most of them have bad outcomes for some even if they benefit others, I'd have no issue with him. SHe just writes him doing heinous things for reason and then is like "Oh but he's traumatized so its okay!"

I don't dislike Feyre, but I think she's often shoved into a backseat role in her own series. I know this is a multi-pov story, but seriously? How the fuck did SJM make Feyre's pregnancy climax to nothing more than more Nesta hate??? Why was her experience and thoughts just completely missing in the plot that literally revolved around her?? I find her flaws charming, and yet they're often forgotten or used to justify things that shouldn't be justified. I don't have any issue with her beyond the SC disaster. But, I think the fact that there's Feyre antis in general speaks to how bad of a writer SJM is. You can't even make people agree on liking your main fucking character? In fact most Feyre antis are Pro Nestas... which is ridiculous. How poorly do you have to write for people to pit sisters against each other WHEN YOUR MAIN TROPE IS FOUND FAMILY. The way SJM uses Feyre pisses me off endlessly

I think Feysand has its moments, and I don't hate anything about them specifically - but rather how they're presented and treated by the narrative. I think they make sense together, and I prefer them to Feylin, but I hate how SJM and fans bend over backward to justify everything.

I'm not a Nesta stan, I just think the narrative (and especially SF) is an injustice to real world issues and the logic used against her makes no sense in reference to the other characters. SJM says she loves her so much, but shows her none. I find the way the fandom treats her lacking empathy, and SJM has done nothing to actually better her character. I think its ridiculous no one acknowledge that she grew up in the same fucking cottage as Feyre with the same parents. SJM constantly dredges up new shit to pit her and Feyre against each other instead of just letting them be happy. She treats Nesta like she's irredeemable, and when she does "redeem" herself its literally in service to the people who are forcing her to fix herself??? She's used as a point for juvenile drama and placed in a cycle of being antagonized with no outlet to place blame. See my full thoughts on her here

I don't actually despise the ic, I think they all are just wasted and thrown into whatever whirlwind situation gives SJM a boner. I think Morrigan had so much potential, but SJM decided it would be better to use her for petty drama and forwarding a ship. I don't hate her because she doesn't do anything for the woman in the CoN, because quite frankly I don't think SJM has thought that far. I don't think Cassian's the worst man alive, but I think SJM has a poor grasp on him and what a healthy relationship (even in the bounds of a fantasy novel) is. And I just find Azriel particularly useless, he's not a thoughtful sensitive soul, he's just yet to be focused on. And I do not look forwards to the day he is, based on his first and only current pov.

I'm not a Tamlin stan, in fact I really don't care for his character, but I think he suffers from lazy writing and some severe character assassination. I think the switch up on his character after the first book is absolutely ridiculous.

I dislike how SJM throws Elain around and treats her like a little precious baby and making her out to be an airhead whos absolved from the same crimes Nesta's hated for.

I'm not an SJM fan, I'm an avid SJM hater. I actually despise her, and while I won't write out my entire long list of grievances with her here, just know that literally all of my issues with the series would be gone if she was just a better person and writer. Seriously, I think she lacks so much mechanical and analytical skill (which is crazy, she's been publishing books for 12+ years and written like 15) and I see no change in the future. She constantly retcons, switches characters up for whatever her narrative calls for, and sacrifices good character writing for a fast track to mediocre faerie smut.

I hate the way she sexualized Feyre's experience under the mountain. I hate the way she immediately objectified Feyre when she got pregnant (the blurb describing Feyre walking around while pregnant is insanely kinky and I hate it). I hate the way she throws around trauma and mental illness like cute little stickers so that she can pick and choose the aspects she thinks are cool. I hate that she's fucked up people's perception of abuse and mental illness. I hate the way she uses poc and steals credit for representation she didn't care to make. This isn't even all of it, its just what I can remember within the 9 minutes I spent writing this brain dump. SJM does not deserve more of my time 😭

If I was a character in the series I genuinely think I'd avoid all of them, because I don't care, and if I somehow did have to be cornered with any of them, I'd hate all of them. But If I ever faced up with the mother (aka Sarah), it'd be on sight. My hatred for her knows no bounds. Hate is a strong word, and one I used so many times in this post (something SJM does a lot too though, so I'm not worried, seriously get a thesaurus and stop using the same phrases every 6 pages) because it's true.

#anti sjm #anti acotar #anti sarah j maas #sjm critical #rhysand #feyre archeron #nesta archeron #tamlin

37 notes · View notes

ellieluvr420 · 8 months

Text

We meet again, darling pt.19 (detective Abby Anderson x criminal reader x detective Ellie Williams)

Synopsis: Abby Anderson is a skilled detective that's never let a criminal escape her grasp, until you. You've infiltrated every part of her life and she still can't get you. As she grows more and more intrigued by you she finds herself descending further into darkness until there's no way back. She takes your hand and follows you as if your presence is the only thing giving her life knowing that you are the most dangerous thing for her. Her life will never be hers again and she will stop at nothing to keep following you down your path of corruption.

7.32 PM

"I'd love to." You take a seat in the chair he's gesturing to and return his stony glare. "Tell me sweetheart. Who'd you have to fuck to get yourself here?"

You laugh at his comment more than you should and it leaves him confused.

"Well I could give you the list but it wouldn't do much, I'm here because I'm good at this. That's why you've never been able to beat me." His face turns to a scowl as he takes a drag of his cigar. He chuckles a little and then goes silent once again.

"You're arrogant. Didn't your parents teach you manners?"

"Nope."

"You must've been a very dislikeable little girl then. Nothing's changed I see."

"You seem to have a fascination with my childhood. Is there a question on your mind? or is that just your thing?" His head snaps up as he puts the cigar down.

"How dare you accuse me of such a thing." His voice is low and gravelly as he says it and you can't hide your amusement at his frustration. "I am fascinated though as to what happened in your childhood to make you turn out this way. Were you an orphan?"

"Nope. One brother, my best friend, and two parents that were in a loving marriage and loved us both very much. Perfect, picturesque family. But what way have I turned out? Different from you? Because that would be a mighty high horse for you to be sitting on if that's what you're saying."

"I've heard stories about the things you've done, always vague and never any details about who was committing the heinous acts, but I heard about the acts."

"Yeah? Tell me the worst story you've heard."

"Tell me the worst thing you've done."

"You first." He stays still for a moment until he picks up his cigar again and begins to speak.

"What?"

"Hello to you too, jesus." Ellie scoffed at Abby's rude greeting as she answered the phone. "I don't know what to pack because I don't know if we're going somewhere hot or cold."

"You really think there won't be a whole new wardrobe waiting for us when we get there?"

"True... She'll probably have bought us matching wardrobes."

"Ha yeah I swear we're like dolls to her."

"I've never had someone take so much pleasure in dressing me up, usually the joy happens when the clothes come off." Abby can practically see the smirk on Ellie's face just as Ellie can see the eyeroll coming from Abby.

"Was that all?"

"No actually, I was wondering if you wanted me to grab food from Michael's and then come to yours, can wait for her together."

"Oh right yeah, sounds good, thanks."

"The usual?"

"Yeah please."

"Okay, cool." Ellie hangs up before Abby can even say bye.

"Rude." She mutters to herself but internally she finds Ellie's bluntness charming, she'd always laugh to herself when she'd observe a conversation between Ellie and someone at work that ended in Ellie walking away obliviously while the other person stormed off cursing her rudeness under their breath. Abby returns to packing while thinking about what you're doing right now.

"You first."

"Fine. I heard of you killing a man's wife when he failed to repay his debts to you."

"That's the worst you heard? God people must think I'm pathetic."

He grimaces at your words. "Your turn."

"I set fire to a home where a family, two parents and two kids, were sleeping peacefully inside, I left the daughter to burn and I took the son with me, I killed him separately after I made him live through the pain of losing his perfect family and his perfect life, he became a monster just like me and then I slaughtered him like one too."

"Why?"

"Because I felt like it. Because I needed to. Why does it matter? Doesn't change what I did, see this is what limits people, always trying to find a justification for someone's actions. Once you accept that your actions can't and shouldn't be justified, you're free."

"Is that what you are? Free?"

"Exactly."

8.07 PM

Abby turns her attention from the TV as a knock sounds on her door, she opens it to see Ellie standing outside with takeout and her comically small suitcase.

"Is that seriously all your bringing?"

"Leave me alone this is a regular sized suitcase." Abby stands aside to let her come in.

"Yeah for a two week holiday. Hate to break it to you but this is not that."

"Oh whatever. Can't believe I got you food."

"From Michael's as well? You're too cute."

"Shut up. Figured we should have it at least once more before we leave."

"Do you remember how much we used to go there when we were officers, makes me feel old thinking about it."

"That's because you are old."

"You're two years younger than me."

"Still..." They had both sat on the sofa and were ripping open the bag of food when Ellie paused. "Has she ever told you how old she is?"

Abby goes to reply back acerbically and then she realises you hadn't, you hadn't asked how old Abby was either though, she assumed you knew anyway but she realised she didn't know how old you are, she had always guessed you'd be a similar age to her because of the time it would take you to build your business to the level it is now but she didn't actually know. "Er no she hasn't. I'm ashamed to say I've never asked."

"Has there ever been time for small talk like that?" Ellie looks at Abby knowingly as they both chuckle.

"No I guess not."

"I wonder what it will be like, you know being with her just us 3 on our own, no business."

"I think there's a high likelihood of us driving her up the wall and ending up buried somewhere."

"Yeah that's a fair guess." They both waste no time in stuffing their faces with the huge burgers Ellie had bought as Abby presses play on the Family guy episode she was watching.

8.45 PM

You checked your watch to see that, provided everything went to plan, your men would be done seizing all of the Met's shipments, you wanted to wait until you knew everything had gone smoothly for them before you killed him and judging by the fact none of his guys had burst through the door to alert him of your plan you assumed everything went as it should have.

"Got somewhere to be sweetheart?" Your roll your eyes at the pet name and stand.

"Yes actually." You pull your gun from its holster and at the same time two huge men burst into the room and lunge at you. You manage to shoot one and he drops to the ground but the other made it to you before you could stop him. He lands a punch so forceful you hear your cheekbone crack. It disorients you so much you don't notice him grabbing you at first and when you do realise its too late as he has you held tightly to him with an arm around your waist trapping you hands by your sides and the other arm round your neck choking you slightly.

"Richter warned me you'd be paying me a visit, I was shocked to be contacted by him, you must've really pissed him off for him to side with me."

"I wouldn't be hasty to take his side, unless you want to end up like him."

"Yeah? And how has he ended up?"

"Dead." You smile through the throbbing in your cheek as he moves his face closer to yours.

"I'm giving you a chance here, I'll let you walk off unharmed if you beg for your life... and transfer everything you're worth over to me. You can run away to go hide in a hole somewhere and be thankful everyday for the rest of your life for my mercy." You chuckle at the man before you as you realise he is so similar to Richter, never misses an opportunity to assert his dominance over a woman and a complete pussy that can't do a job properly. He didn't even give you a chance to fear for your life before he offered you a chance to live, he doesn't understand the game the way you do, doesn't enjoy it like you, you like to play with your victims before you end them and he's making this no fun at all. The gutlessness of it all disgusts you, no one is ever willing to do what needs to be done and that's why you rose to the top so quick, that's why you'd rather die than beg this pathetic man for your life, you'll do what has to be done to die the way you lived.

"I'm not begging for shit." You spit in his face and he falls back yelling at your grotesque action. He wipes his face and storms back over to you so there is barely any space between your faces, his breath smells of cigars and bourbon, a smell you had grown familiar with after all these years that still never failed to make your nose scrunch up. A menacing smile grows on his face as he utters the words:

"I am going to enjoy killing you so much. Everything you have is mine now, sweetheart."

As he finishes his sentence he nods at the man holding you, you hear a shuffle behind you as his grip around your neck disappears for a moment, you keep eye contact with the victorious looking man in front of you until you feel a cold, solid object being slammed into your temple. The ringing in your ears starts immediately as does the spinning in your vision, your legs shake and everything around you turns sideways and rushes upwards. You don't realise you're falling to the floor until you hit it, the last thing you see before your vision goes black is the huge man standing over you clutching a brick spattered with blood in his hand.

psa: sorry this chapter is a little shorter but pt.20 will make up for it (i hope), finale next! Can't believe I've actually made it this close to finishing the story, i have never stuck with anything creative enough to finish it so this is crazy to me

52 notes · View notes

dangermousie · 5 months

Text

Heroine's common sense is pretty delightful.

Also this? Yikessssss, Yanxi, yikes!!!!

Someone import a therapist or perhaps a self-help book for this dude about not doing what your abusive father figure wants even if you don't want it so as to try to please them. ENMESHED IN THE WORST WAY OMG.

Honestly, I love her.

Aaaand she dumps him. Yeah, it's supposed to be so emperor won't have a lever against him to make him do crazier and crazier things to prove empy is stll n1 for Yanxi but I'd also like to think it's self-preservation on her part - nothing good would come of being enmeshed with that psycho an in-law!!!

A delightful paradox - empy punished the Shens extra because Yanxi pleaded for them so if Yanxi is unattached and heartless he actually doesn't have to do as much heinous stuff. And once Yanxi mentions to the emperor he and FL broke up, emperor is all "awwww, that's too bad, oh you can let Shens go now." It's beginning to occur to me that he didn't kill Yanxi's dad for treason per se, but because he wants to be the only sky for his nephew and he's gonna fuck him up until he gets there and stays there. That is fascinating. Honestly, there are bones of a truly interesting, dark and dysfunctional story here, buried by a surface, inconsistent script and lacking acting.

#cdrama #blossoms in adversity #hu yitian #zhang jingyi

42 notes · View notes

mdhwrites · 9 months

Note

I saw a post a while ago lambasting Amphibia for having its characters 'do the most horrendous shit imaginable' for the sake of comedic plots and get off far too easily for it. In their view, Amphibia took slapstick comedy way 'too far' sometimes. I thought this was quite hyperbolic; the protagonists made serious mistakes, but rarely anything I'd call unforgivable, especially since they'd almost always show a level of remorse. But it did make me think about the way immoral acts are portrayed in comedic shows, and how we, as viewers, can tolerate and forgive things we probably wouldn't in real life because of the way these acts are presented to us.

I mean, think about Hop-Pop using mind control on Anne, Sprig and Polly in Children of the Spore. If anything like that happened to you in real life, chances are you wouldn't react to someone violating your body and mind by shrugging your shoulders and going 'well, guess we pushed you pretty far.' You'd probably beat the shit out of HP and never talk to him again. But that episode is kinda self-aware about the awfulness of it all (which I love). Polly flat-out says the old frog crossed all kinds of ethical and moral lines XD

Going back to the whole 'too far' accusation, though, I'm pretty sure we're smart enough to understand the difference between a silly frog show and real-life crimes. I don't think there needs to be super realistic consequences to everything (as the post I mentioned was suggesting) when your focus is on writing a slice-of-life fantastical comedy. I guess the only real argument you could make is 'but it's teaching kids to forgive absolutely atrocious, unforgivable things!' And...maybe? But I'm pretty sure any kid with their head screwed on straight understands not to replicate or forgive immoral behaviour too easily.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, do you think characters doing awful things for the sake of comedy or plot can go too far, in that they can unintentionally make characters far too heinous to sympathize with, or do you think complaints like those of the post I mentioned above are a result of taking something far too seriously? Is there even such a thing as 'too far' when it comes to slapstick comedy?

So let's talk about intent, tone and framing because these things REALLY matter to a story. It's actually part of the problem with fandoms wanting everything to be realistic, darker, etc. because they're really asking for one thing: For them to all be the same. To not be what they are because, you know, the fact that these are comedy cartoons for kids MATTERS.

But first let's actually shift gears AWAY from cartoons for a second to talk about things being genuinely irredeemable for comedy. MANY people are really against prank style reality tv because it preys so completely on human suffering. Because these people are doing terrible things to just normal people. I personally don't like the premise... But I like Impractical Jokers. That show frames it DEMONSTRABLY more about terrible things happening to these four friends, by these four friends, and usually the worst they do to others is leave them a little confused or a bit uncomfortable. One of the big elements to changing this is that all the challenges are effectively dares. Someone either commits to the bit or if it becomes too much, they dip out but they are ALLOWED to dip out, minus the final jokes which are always pretty much purely at the Joker's expense.

Are these four people bad people? No. But part of why we also know that is because it's television and they're doing it to entertain as part of being comedians. Bizarrely enough, a lot of modern cartoon fandoms seem to want to act like fiction IS reality. It's where you get people going "Oh, you're being so cruel to a 14 year old, nuerodivergent girl!" and me going "I'm being critical of a character in a narrative. Can you please stop telling me, an actual human being in the real world, to kill myself because of a fictional character?"

Because shock of all shocks, PEOPLE CAN TELL REALITY FROM FICTION! In fact, even kids can! The fucking video game industry had to go through this hell HARD to prove that killing people in a video game is not the same as having psychopathic tendencies in the real world. Do you know how many kids play CoD? And those kids are fine. At least most of them.

So with all of that preamble out of the way: When can a morality focused show fuck up?

It's actually incredibly rarely in the terrible things the characters do because the show USUALLY addresses these elements as part of the moral of the day.

For the example given of Hop Pop's mind control, it is shown as... Eerie to put it mildly. Even from go, Hop Pop only enjoys it so long as he doesn't have to interact with it. It is never framed as a positive besides a bit selfishness. However, Hop Pop is a good enough person to show genuine remorse and try to fix this. He puts in a lot of effort, is admonished as the lesson of the day is learned to not try to control people and to potentially compromise and then it MOVES. ON. Because they live in a fantasy world where anyone could die at any second. A day of none thoughts is not actually that big of a deal, especially since it wasn't done out of malice or even really on purpose. It's a part of the fun of the setting and of the fantasy genre as a whole that you can just do these weird concepts like this and move on because magic happens sometimes. You might grumble for a day or two but hey, at least it was your neighbor and not the king, am I right!? Hail King Andrias.

A big part of this though, and why so many morality driven shows can have characters do terrible things without imparting the wrong lessons, is because it's addressed. Pretty much explicitly. It is framed as wrong, addressed as wrong and then fixed because it was WRONG. Even if it gives momentary gain, that gain is almost always also included in being wrong.

It's actually a formula that Amphibia purposefully breaks for an episode, carrying it over from directly the one before, because there genuinely was one crime committed that hadn't been addressed and by the time it was, that sin had grown to a point where it was too reasonable to have a character still be mad to ignore it: The music box. Hop Pop hiding it is actually an AWFUL thing to do because it dooms Anne, it means her parents will never get closure, dooms the rest of Anne's friends, etc. etc. Hop Pop has to be okay with Anne never quite being fully happy because of always wanting to go home while also living with this false hope that he implanted into her. A trust he has not earned because of the lie.

So even after they theoretically have their morality episode about the box, Amphibia takes this time for such a PERSONAL attack on Anne to stick with her for another episode during The First Temple. It actually acknowledges that you don't get over everything immediately. That sometimes you need space. I don't even like that episode but the break in formula is actually meant to make the message more powerful, and does so successfully, especially because the crime was different. It wasn't of indifference or something quickly fixed. It was of long term AGONY and a complete breach in trust that would make one question what relationship they can have with another person. There's pretty much zero other crimes in the show like that besides Sasha/Marcy's betrayals, which aren't treated as easy fixes, and Andrias' betrayal is the heel turn that makes him the primary antagonist. These crimes, these personal, genuinely awful things to do to other people that could be replicated, unlike so much of the fantasy violence, are usually seen as something you do have to work on. It's a great, nuanced take on being a morality one off show while also being able to elevate some issues to being dealt with more seriously and consistently.

Also, quick note from someone on my Discord: They NEED to do bad things in order to teach! They are meant to be the bad example so when their actions lead to things going wrong, you understand not to copy that behavior. This is honestly storytelling 101 for most... Plots. Not just morals but plots. If the characters do NOTHING, nothing happens and nothing will be learned.

You want a show that will teach kids bad lessons and then reinforce there are no consequences for those? WELCOME TO THE OWL HOUSE! Specifically: The show that tells you to lie and keep secrets because your fear justifies keeping them!

I know that sounds shitty but like... Luz is the main character. For half of the show, she is portrayed as the second most moral character in the show behind Willow. She admonishes stealing, cheating, etc. as her contrast with Eda. Then after Yesterday's Lie... She literally can't stop lying and never faces consequences for it.

The closest actually comes in Falls and Follies where Amity at least forces a promise out of Luz to be more open with her. This actually though doesn't fix the problem, it just makes it WAY WORSE because one of the main targets of these lies, that kids can easily replicate, especially because Luz is almost always lying about things that might upset others which is the most common thing kids will lie about, is Amity. So now we have both lying and breaking promises. You know, two of the most basic morals any kids show should impart on the audience!

In Reaching Out though, Amity gets a little mad but then it's excused because of her dad! In Thanks to Them, no one gives a shit that Luz has been keeping secrets and lying for months. Camila makes sure Luz DOESN'T tell her friends the truth either about her plans. You know, Luz's MOM who should want her daughter to be an honest person. The show then constantly keeps cutting Luz off from telling anyone anything because it literally can't without revealing how bullshit what she's doing is until by the end of the show... Luz hasn't been punished in any way and the lies just... Drift away.

Completely unaddressed.

This causes a problem because while the lies theoretically hurt Luz... They hurt less than losing her friends. Hurt less than disappointing a parent. Hurt less than making her look bad. And this is the main character. The one kids are supposed to connect with the most. The one who usually most explicitly defines the morality of a show. And she is never punished or stopped from all. Of. Her. Lies.

(As a note: This is also how you get a lot of guys taking the wrong lessons from anime perverts. Sure, this guy gets smacked but he never loses his friends. Never faces real consequences. In return... He gets way more ass than the main character does, doesn't he? *gags violently*)

THAT is how you impart bad morals. It's not surprising to me that the fandom for TOH hides behind excuses so much for their show because their literal main character was justified, in fiction, to have all of the terrible things she did, all the choices she didn't have to make or the people she discarded, because she ALWAYS had an excuse. And so long as you have an excuse, by what TOH says, you can get away with fucking anything.

And mind you, that last part is NOT Luz specific. Have a bad uncle? Don't worry Hunter, the fact that you literally hunt, oppress and potentially kill wild witches can be entirely forgotten and ignored. Have a mean mommy? Don't worry Amity, we literally never have to properly address the literal years of bullying you did to another character or even how attempting to kill Luz was wrong. Collector? COME ON! You just had bad friends/family so now you just need good ones and we can forget all about you oppressing people for fucking months!

This isn't addressing these problems. These are excuses. And excuses can seem REALLY appealing to people. After all, how many hide awful acts or statements behind: "Come on, it was just a joke." Shields are useful for trying to avoid criticism after all. If you never acknowledge you were in the wrong, you don't have to feel bad for having done something mean, let alone terrible.

Just to bring it back to Amphibia: Sasha tries to do this. She believes she knows best so she feels justified in all she does because it will make everyone the happiest, at least in her own eyes. Then in Turning Point, she realizes the folly of her ways, addresses that she was a terrible person and plants her foot down FIRM. No more acting the part of protector while actually being a tyrant. She will risk her very life in order to right these wrongs. And we see it also in Commander Anne where she is taking the change seriously. These are two half episodes, a single episode in full, that lets us know that her actions were inexcusable and that they were wrong and now she is allowed to be a part of the good guys now that she has made sure the audience knows that they can look to her as an example.

One full episode to ADDRESS the fact that what Sasha did was wrong and to not excuse it but to learn from it.

That's why all these terrible things protagonists do in shows is fine. They learn from it. They genuinely regret their actions. They show the audience why they shouldn't have done it. It's never okay to the show that they did. Not that it can't be forgiven, because people should be allowed the chance to grow, but that it still wasn't okay.

For a kid's show, that is pitch perfect. It's why moral of the day storytelling exists and I can't really think of any huge errors in this department on Amphibia's side. It's pretty damn good at smacking someone over the head when they act like a jackass. At bare minimum, there are WAY worse examples out there.

======+++++======

This is absolutely one of those criticisms that has me look at the person making it and go "Just admit you don't like cartoons. Or children's media in general probably." Admittedly, there's actually plenty of adult stuff just as childish, no one stays mad in Family Guy, so it's probably just "You don't like cartoons." It's the sort of bad faith criticism that just reveals you as not having actually wanted the product but whatever you thought the product should be.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#amphibia #toh critical #the owl house criticism

55 notes · View notes

fleet-of-fiction · 10 months

Text

My Truth

Allow me to introduce myself. Hi...

My name is Lucie. You might remember me from my old blog, lightmylove-gvf. It started out as a really fun, wholesome space. Full of love and laughter. I shared pictures and gif sets and works of fiction. Made so many wonderful connections with many different people. It really was a wonderful place to be. Until it wasn't. And although I've tried my best to step away from certain controversies, it seems that people still have an issue with me and still have my name in their mouth. So I'd like to take this opportunity to set the record straight. Maybe move past some untruths and you can all make informed decisions on whether you'd like to continue following me here on my current blog. Which is also a place of peace and love, I might add. And always has been.

Anyway, read on if you'd like. And if not, that's ok too.

I think it's fair to say that I've always been one of the more "controversial" writers around here. I have never shied away from difficult storytelling, and I never will. But what started out as a completely separate issue quickly snowballed into what could only be described as a personal vendetta.

I'm happy to discuss anything within my writing that might be of issue to a reader. A particular blog took offence to a scene I had written in a chapter of my fic, Backstage. I happened to disagree with this blog, and I tried my best to let them know whilst I understood their stance I did not agree with their point of view. I took this opinion to a discord server I was part of along with several other blogs here to see if they could shed more light on the issue.

The scene in question involved a fictionalised version of Josh and the reader in bed. They had gone to bed together with the full narrative of the reader known. How she was in love with him and wanted nothing more than to make love with him. They had been growing close. And Josh began to touch reader as they slept side by side. We get an insight into the readers thoughts during this moment, and they are very much with consent and enjoying the experience. It's meant to be a nod to what is to come. That their bodies are in tune with each other, even if their words are yet to speak of it. I think a lot of experiences in life play out like that. Where we don't always know what to say, but find ourselves in situations where our bodies can do the talking. Anyway, I digress...

There was a lot of opinions flying around in the server. Some were in favour of my opinion, others opposed it and were in favour of the anon who had sent me alot of hateful messages regarding their view that this scene was nothing more than sexual harassment. I explained in the server that I myself had been the victim of sexual assault/harassment. That I knew what it felt like to get into bed with someone I thought that I could trust only to have them break that trust in the most heinous way. I tried to explain that I didn't think this particular scene was that.

One sentence that I said was screenshotted and shared around with absolutely zero context to it and nothing of the rest of the conversation added to the screenshot. Just one sentence that I'd said which pertained to saying that I agreed that people should be able to get in bed with others and have full rights to their own bodies. I was AGREEING with that. It's there in black and white. But the narrative was skewed by people who didn't want to understand me. I tried to explain about how my personal experiences often lied within power imbalances when it came to things like S/H. But in the end, they gave me no chance to explain myself properly. They didn't want to. They'd seen and heard enough and made up their mind.

But it didn't stop there. People who I thought were my friends blocked me. Told me I was disgusting. Told me I was playing the victim. Because I didn't issue a grovelling apology. But how could I? I wasn't sorry. I hadn't done anything wrong. I'd poured my heart out to them about my trauma and abuse and how in my own experience I didn't view it as the same as what I'd written. I'd put trigger warnings. I'd made sure people had the right to information before proceeding!

I had blogs who had never interacted with me block me. Call me disgusting. Tell me fuck myself. I had anons telling me to kill myself. Anons telling me that I was a rapist and...for some reason...a peadophile sympathiser? I didn't deserve that. Nobody deserves that. I literally wrote two consenting adults touching each other in a bed they'd both gotten into...consentingly.... with very obvious (although unspoken at that point) feelings for each other. But now, that wasn't the issue. The issue was my own personal feelings on sexual harassment.

I'm the first to admit that I am perhaps not an easily digestable person to some. But I know that I am kind. I know that I have spent hours proof reading and editing fics for other writers on here because they asked for my help. I've supported people though personal issues, and I've championed the work of other writers because I truly believed that this space was a wonderful space for creativity. I still do, to some degree. I am not perfect, and I know that sometimes I can be a little head strong when it comes to protecting people's rights to free speech. I understand that I'm not palatable as a person to people who don't agree that the freedom to write should come with the freedom to write anything.

To those of you who never ever spoke to me and are still sharing things about me with the hash tag #fuck you lucie.... to you I say why have you jumped on that bandwagon? You do not know me. You know only what you've heard from people who were intent on pushing a narrative that was their own. Not mine. You don't know that these people were once my friends. And they shared my work and enjoyed it as I enjoyed theirs. They told me things about themselves and I was happy to know them. These people who then decided I was a terrible human being. Based on one thing I said that was taken completely out of context. It's almost as if they have shared it so many times now with their own backstory that it's a canon truth. I'm the worst human to ever walk the earth. Forget about all the good things I did for you. I'm scum.

If you're still reading this, you're probably thinking boo hoo what a victim complex. Maybe you're right. Maybe I do have a victim complex. Like everyone else here I have mental health problems and I'm on the spectrum. I have trauma. As part of my adhd I have rejection sensitivity which means when I'm cornered I tend to fight back with justifications as to why I behaved the way I did. I guess that's what I'm doing now. Trying to explain myself. Again. Although what good it'll do, I dont know. And I think right now, it no longer matters.

And yet I still see that I'm being talked about. I'm still getting accused of sending anons to other blogs when I was literally just existing here in my peaceful little corner, everyone who had ever taken issue with me blocked or unfollowed. I didn't know what was going on over there, I was trying to just enjoy reading and writing. My anxiety could never cope with sending a hateful anon, I know there's ways of finding out where they come from and revealing the blogs who send them and it's like that story we're all told about peeing in the pool and turning the water a different colour. I don't fuck with that shit.

If, for any particular reason, I've ever hurt anyone here to them I do issue a heartfelt apology because it has never been and never will be my intention. I said some awful things in the heat of the moment when I was receiving alot of hate and death threats regarding the AI edit a friend of mine made with audio from one of my fics. I was under so much pressure. I wanted it all to just stop. I just wanted everyone to be able to enjoy whatever made them happy. I am sorry for the things I said during that time. Im a human being. I am flawed. However..

I do not believe that people lose their rights to their body the minute they climb into bed with someone. And that's precisely what I say in the infamous screenshot. I just hope for anyone who has seen it that they now understand that it was said with love and understanding and support. I would never disregard anyones trauma or triggers. Never. And that is why I believe in giving people all the information they require before consuming media and art.

With all this said, I sincerely hope that it's clear that all I want to do is write. It's all ive ever done and all I will ever really be any good at doing. I'm proud of the fics I've put out here on my old blog and this one too. I don't care about how many notes they get, just that one or two people read it and enjoy it. And I hope you all know that I'm a nice person, too. So are a lot of blogs who have been villainised recently. This witch hunt has got to stop. We have got to start listening to each other with peace and understanding and not jump to conclusions. Not make people out to be something they simply aren't.

I want to curate a loving space here. A safe and nurturing space for anyone to feel free within. I want people to know they can jump in my asks and know that I will love them. I want everyone, of every race and every gender and ever creed of this world to know they are welcome and accepted here. Like a wise man that we all know and love once said. I'm not the person they say I am. I never was. And I think some of them know that. It is my greatest hope that any of you who wish to stick around get to know me for yourselves.

It is my greatest wish that those blogs who are still spouting hate about me really grow and heal. Or even better, pop on over and get to know me? I think it's important to understand why you might hate someone and not just from unreliable sources. If you think that I am some sort of s/a supporter who revels in writing that sort of thing then I'd be glad to dispel that myth.

I'm not going to speak on this again because I feel that I've moved on. This blog is my creative outlet and always will be. And as I've stated above its a safe and loving space for all. I'm reclaiming the fun. And hopefully some of you will stick around for it. And if not, I bid you a farewell. With nothing but love in my heart.

#my truth #im not who you think i am #love #support #truth #an open letter #i hope this helps

59 notes · View notes