#I'm aware that 11 at night isn't a good time to be thinking these things over but I've been thinking them over for two straight days now.

[rudeflower]

"take an extra long shower?" JESS ANGST

HI

I'm having a crappy day so I am on my Gilmore Girls rewatch and I reached a point that even when I was a thirteen/fourteen year old kid REALLY STOOD OUT as evidence that Jess has had a fucked up life??

Fandom varies a whole lot on interpretations of Jess's life in New York which is lovely I love that fandom let's us take things as we take them

These range from "Liz is an ordinary mom and Jess is a difficult obstinate kid who is giving his single mom a lot of grief" (I don't love this one but you do you) to "Extreme chaos, Liz was using hard drugs, Jess was severely dangerously constantly abused and neglected" (I land not quite this far but definitely over the median line)

We have a lot of evidence we take out to point in either direction, but there's one thing I don't see discussed often in 3x13

So Jess (a high school student) is keeping the diner open at 11:30 at night, waiting for Luke to come back from his date with Nicole. The diner certinaly is not open until midnight, is Jess keeping it open just so he can catch them when the come in and see what's going on? So they don't walk in on him living his life in his apartment with no privacy?

Jess, certainly without being asked to, has placed himself ready to respond to this situation and take control.

He has fresh hot coffee for them and acts quickly when they walk in

Luke has no idea what he's talking about, and Jess is acting like this is something that both of them are aware of and silently already agreed upon. He's genuinely confused that Luke is confused about the idea of him wandering around after midnight so Luke can have sex in their one room apartment

Then when Luke finally catches on and tries to take Jess aside, Jess is even more confused and maybe a little scared?

Look at Nicole just having the time of her life

In Jess's mind it is a GIVEN that he is going to get out of the way so that Luke can hook up with his date. He is genuinely confused and them ALARMED and argumentative when Luke tries to shut it down.

Luke is a normal healthyish adult who knows that a kid being out in the cold when he doesn't have a friend whose house he's playing video games while waiting around at is a BAD THING. He never planned on Jess leaving??? He's probably a little surprised Jess is up at all, why is the diner open why isn't he asleep? Jess had kicked out Kirk on his own plenty of times, and Caesar is gone, but he isn't about to tell his kid off in front of Nicole.

And he doesn't. When he realizes what's going on he gets Jess out of the room to talk/yell at him. Which is good?

(Luke also literally hits him in the back of the head while Jess is arguing?? I love Luke and I know it's a little bop not a smack but YIKES let's not?????)

Considering how Jess thinks there's two ways to read this.

One is that Jess has been doing this for years with Liz. The adult who is pretending to take care of him (from Jess's POV) coming back to a cramped living space with no privacy is something he already has a routine for. He is awake, he is ready for them to come back, he gets a read on what's going on and then if he doesn't think he has to protect Liz/Luke from the date then he is GONE. It's 11:30 at night? So? He's just going to walk around and stay the fuck out of the way.

Jess is acting out a pattern he's lived over and over, and he doesn't find being booted out into the cold to be unusual, it's confusing that anyone else would.

The second way is that Jess is truly trying to be a bro to his uncle and get him laid. He sees how Luke is a freaking monk and wants to be helpful so he can hook up with this lawyer. He isn't acting out a pattern, he's trying something new.

But fuck that ALSO is not looking good???? It's not ideal at all that Luke has chosen for their living situation to be a big open room, but Jess has adjusted to it and he's willing to take the hit and go out in the cold so that Luke can get laid.

This scenario would show that he truly assumes that Luke is not concerned about his welfare--which is whatever, fine. Okay. Luke doesn't care that Jess has to go out into the cold so he can get laid--Jess is confused that he does.

It also suggests that Jess truly believes it is his job to take care of his guardian, not the other way around.

Overall this scene, while kind of funny, actually has really dark edges to it? Either Jess thinks he has to get out of dodge to protect himself, or he thinks it's his job to manage Luke's social life. Given we know that Liz had guys coming in and out, and it's not likely Jess often lived places with a lot of privacy, he is almost certainly acting out routines he's been taking part of since he was young.

Jess has probably gone out into the night to avoid hearing that shit plenty of times.

And when it was raining, or too cold, or just not an option?

Why do you think Jess needs the music on to sleep?

[kanmom51]

JK's live 30 June 2023 12:38 am KST

30.6.2023 12:38 or 00:38 KST

cr./to the creators of the media used in this post.

Before I start talking about the live itself and Seven, of course, let's look for just a second, again, for the fun of it, at the numbers.

12:38 or 00:38 is the time JK started the live.

Do you see what those 2 numbers give us? Side by side?

1 2 3 and 8 and then 3 and 8. Does that help?

123

and

8/11

Do I think he did this on purpose? The 123 yeah, I see that. But the other part, nah? Just a usual lovely stars aligning Jikook coincidence I guess, lol.

Oh, and we also have 12:38 that gives us a 2+8=10 and the 1 and 3 that give us the 13, so:

13/10

So, not too too much happened during the live. JK came, talked a little tiny bit about his upcoming single, working on an album and a little more too, worked out, was his own cute self and dipped.

That was that in a nutshell.

Now let's dive in a little deeper.

JK talked about Seven. Well, telling us it's coming out on the 14 July and that he's excited about it.

There is an album in the works, but not finalized just yet.

Oh, and the MV, it's a wrap, and was fun. Now I'm truly curious.

I did talk about the song not being written by him in my previous post. He heard it with BPD and said he wants to do it a lot. His words.

He heard it, he liked it, he wanted to do it. Not personal, not a life story.

Doesn't mean the lyrics didn't 'speak' to him in a sense. Didn't mean something to him. You can feel connected to a song that isn't written by yourself. But it is something to keep in mind when we hear the song, watch the MV and see the lyrics, lol.

Just side tracking here for a sec to this:

CP says it's sooooo good. I'm gonna trust him on this.

Question I have right now is: Is JM becoming JK's spoiler king?

JK misses Jin and Hobi.

He got a new lip piercing.

What I love about that man is that he's so aware. He knows there are those that do not approve (you know, those idiots that think they have ownership over him or a right to tell him what to do). And yet, he doesn't give a shit. He wanted it, he did it. If they want to accept it they will, if they don't sucks for them. And the thing is that when he says it, he does it so nicely and respectfully. I LOVE IT!!!

He told us he's taking English lessons.

As a matter of fact, he had one just before starting the live.

Funny how both JK and JM seem to be studying English at night.

Remember this?

You know, must be one of those Jikook coincidences.

Nah. Fuck that. They are studying English together. Period.

JK talks about doing intermittent dieting, so he bought snacks but can't eat them just yet.

JK wanting to share but blanking out, lol.

Well, he didn't give us a spoiler, but we did get the next best thing, lol.

We get full JK workout.

Gotta love army edits (some at least, lol)

Poor baby hurt himself.

That was quite a workout.

Well, working out can be alone or together. There are many forms of working out... Does he really want us to wonder all of that?

The duality of this man.

And then.

I absolutely adore that JK has no problem what so ever that we see him like this. No makeup, every hair possible out of place, tired, sleepy, drunk, sad, happy, just bare.

He trusts us to see him bare.

Writing those lines, that sentence, idk why, it brings tears to my eyes.

He's not afraid to be himself. Take it or leave it. Yes, he plays the part of the idol, but he isn't afraid to show us him, a real human being just like us (just way prettier and sexier and more talented and more intelligent and in better shape), as much as he can under the circumstances of being an idol and a celebrity.

How can we not LOVE this young man?

JK ending the live.

So, not so much going on during this live.

I wrote this post based on the translations available. Of course I will watch the live translated and come back with corrections if be needed.

This to me felt more like a scheduled live for him, less one he just wanted to do, to keep connected with us or to convey a message that doesn't have to do with his own promotions (you get what I'm saying). And it makes sense it was pretty much scheduled, given the announcement of his single release. But who cares? We got us some cute ass JK. Just seeing him warms my heart. I assume it has the same effect on you.

I'll leave you with an amusing take on JK's live.

[greg-montgomery]

Ivy - Part 12

gif by: @hotch-girl <3

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader (Sean Hotchner x Fem!Reader)

Series summary: Your relationship with your boyfriend, Sean, is going great. Well, that is until you meet his older brother, Aaron.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

i'm a liar and a clown - this isn't the last part, this is mostly smut.

Warnings: this chapter is nsfw - 18+

also warning for um...condescending aaron? but he's sweet about it.

Minors DNI

Chapter summary: again...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) lmfao

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You had expected the princess treatment to end sooner or later but it only kept getting worse.

Aaron had insisted on being the one to get your stuff from Sean’s house. And of course after bringing all your things home, there wasn’t even a discussion about where said things would go. Aaron’s place was the only right answer.

Not that you were complaining of course. He was gone for work most of the day, so living in his home – your home too, as he kept correcting you – gave you the opportunity to take in as much of him as possible.

It could be almost perfect, if it wasn’t for the thought of Sean eating you alive. You were waiting for that phone call, that message that he was finally ready to speak with you, every single day. And the more the time passed with no signal from him the more your feelings got unbearable.

It would take time to make peace with the fact that you and the man you loved were the villains in someone else’s story. You wanted Sean to forgive you, but you were well aware you also needed to forgive your own self in order to move on.

Part of you felt that maybe you deserved what you had gone through; that maybe being kidnapped was your punishment for being unfaithful to your ex-boyfriend.

Aaron would go crazy if you brought those thoughts to his attention, so you had chosen to stay quiet about it.

“What are you thinking about, honey?” he asked, pushing your hair back as he joined you on the couch.

“Nothing in particular.” You smiled.

“You know, I was thinking…”

“Yeah?” You raised your brow, intrigued.

“I never took you out for a date,” he said, his voice more melancholic than excited. “Never asked you out.”

“Well the circumstances weren’t ideal for something like this,” you said, in the same tone as his.

“I wanna do it. The first date, the flowers.”

“Aaron…” you laughed.

“I mean it. Y/N,” he se said, his voice turning serious, “Are you free tomorrow night? I would like to take you out to dinner.”

You gave him a sweet smile. “Yes, Aaron. I’m free and I’d love to go to dinner with you.”

This man had been inside you, and yet blushed like a tomato to you agreeing to go on a date with him.

--

He wanted it to be perfect.

That included your favorite flowers, his best suit, and of course him leaving the house for a few hours so he could come back when you were ready to pick you up for the date.

Aaron’s heart was racing as he rang the doorbell of his own house. He thought it was funny how the girl he was essentially living with, gave him butterflies as if he was a teenager picking up his prom date from her parents’ house.

You opened the door with a big smile, stealing his breath away.

I’m so in love with her, he thought.

He didn’t say it though – it would have been a terrible opening line for a first date.

“You look like a dream,” he chose to say instead.

Your shy smile made his heart flutter. Aaron was so mesmerized by you, he had almost forgotten to offer you the beautiful bouquet of flowers he was holding.

“Are those for me?” you asked, reminding him of it.

“Yes,” he rushed to reply, giving them to you. “I hope you like them.”

“They’re perfect. Thank you, Aaron.”

--

A gentleman as always, Aaron opened every single door for you, pulled your chair out, and showered you with compliments. It felt good and had you wishing you had done everything in the correct order.

You chose not to dwell on it though, and focused on the conversation you were having with the sweet man at your table.

“And I had to wait in line for four hours. It was hell,” you groaned, letting your head fall back.

“Wait, when was this?” Aaron asked you.

“Three years ago. The day before New Year’s Eve,” you answered, sipping some of your red wine. “I’ll never forget that day.”

“Y/N, what time were you there?”

“What?”

“What time were you there?” he insisted.

“I don’t remember exactly but I was there at least an hour before the store had opened. I was desperate.”

“I was there too,” Aaron said.

“What?” you asked, the palms of your hands covering your mouth. “You were there at the same time?”

“Yes,” he laughed. “I was there an hour before the store opened. I thought it would be early enough.”

“Aaron,” you giggled. “We were there at the same time.”

“We were.” He smiled.

You reached out your hand to hold his. “Imagine how frustrated I was that I didn’t notice the sexiest man in the world waiting in line with me.”

Aaron’s smirk made you laugh again. He lifted your joined hands to kiss your knuckles. “You were always around, weren’t you?”

“I guess I was.” It was your turn to kiss his hand now. “Waiting for my prince charming.”

“I just wish-”

“We should stop that,” you interrupted him. “This is the way things are. You have me and I have you now. That’s all that matters. We’re only looking forward from now on.”

“You’re right, my love.”

--

“Well this is me,” you said with a shy smile, pointing at Aaron’s house.

“Hm…” he said, his one eyebrow lifted.

You looked up finding him staring at you with a handsome smirk. At that moment it truly felt like the end of a first date; the excitement of the possibility of sharing a ‘first kiss’ with that man, making your stomach turn in the best kind of way.

“Thanks for driving me home,” you grinned, and you could see he was holding back his laughter at your act.

“Of course.”

He was not going to make a move.

So you moved closer, swinging your purse left and right. “Good night, Aaron.”

“Good night, sweet girl.”

“No good night kiss?” You frowned.

“Good girls should not make offers like this,” he said, sternly. “I might take advantage of you.”

You closed the gap between your bodies, and grabbed his tie. “Oh Aaron, you have no clue how bad I want you to take advantage of me.”

Aaron chuckled and grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand away from his tie. He made it rest on his shoulder as he pressed soft kisses on the inside of your arm. “You’re bold.”

“Aaron,” you said, in a tone that translated: let’s stop this game – I want you.

His large hands cupped your face through your hair and pulled you close enough that his nose was brushing against yours. “I like it when you get all needy for me. It’s cute.”

“It’s also painful.”

“Have I ever denied you anything? You’re gonna get everything you want, I promise.”

And with that, he kissed you with the passion and gentleness of a true first kiss.

--

Back in his bedroom, your fingers were playing with the zipper of his pants, the hardness you could feel and see underneath the fabric making you clench your thighs together for some relief.

You palmed him through his boxers and the groan he let out went through your entire body like a spark. You slowly lowered yourself on your knees, taking his trousers down with you.

The sight of his thick thighs was already making you drool, filling you with a strong urge to bite every single inch of his body. You placed your palms on them, running your hands up and down his hairy legs; your touches followed by small kisses, licks and bites.

“What are you doing?” he asked, amused.

“I’m enjoying you,” you answered.

His hand got lost in your hair, pulling it carefully to make you look up and into his eyes. “Honey,” he said, and it sounded like a request; an order.

“Sorry,” you smiled, leaving a last sweet kiss on the inside of his thigh. “Didn’t mean to neglect this part of you.”

Your opened mouthed kisses moved to his clothed cock, causing him to let out a heavy breath - deliciously close to a moan.

You hooked your fingers on the waistline of his boxers, carefully pulling them down, exposing his hard dick. The tip of it was just begging you to lick it, so that was what you did. You wrapped your hand around the base of his cock, leaving a few kisses down his length, before taking him into your mouth.

After a few minutes of having him inside, Aaron used his grip on your hair to push your head back. “Stop.”

You feared that there was something wrong, but Aaron’s next words made you realize that that wasn’t the case.

“Take your clothes off.”

Instinctively, you immediately did what he said. Not making a show out of it, but definitely taking your time, you took off your dress and your pretty underwear.

“Come here,” he said, when you were finally fully naked. His one hand moved between your legs, while the other traced patterns on the back of your neck.

“How does it feel down there?” he asked with fake concern; his middle finger brushing against your clit, and his touch light enough not to offer any actual relief.

“Hurts a little.” You pouted.

“You can play with it if you want,” he said, moving his finger in a slow circular motion. “While you suck me off. It’s okay,” he added, sweetly. “Just don’t get too distracted. Alright, baby?”

“Mhm.” You nodded and sank back to your knees. After Aaron’s touch you were burning for more, so you lost no time before moving your own hand between your legs, as your lips were once more wrapped around his cock.

He was right about the ‘distracted’ part. It was hard to stay concentrated when you were chasing your own orgasm but Aaron’s voice brought you back to your senses. “Focus, baby.”

You pulled him out of you for a moment, your split still connecting your lips with his cock, as you mumbled a sweet “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, sweetheart. You’re doing so good,” he reassured you, his palm cupping your cheek. “You’re so pretty like this.”

His praise made you even more eager and soon you were choking on his dick, Aaron’s heavy breaths and moans satisfying you more than you could ever explain.

“I’m close,” he sighed. “Wanna cum on your tits.”

He didn’t need to say anything else, you straightened your back, still on your knees and pressed your breasts together so Aaron could finish on you. You could focus on his cock fucking his fist or the white liquid that was falling on you, but instead you chose to pay attention to his face. The expression of ultimate pleasure he had on him, the drops of sweat on his forehead that made it glisten and made you feel disgusting enough to wanna lick them away.

He looked like a god and all you wanted to do was stay on your knees for the rest of time, just for him.

Part 13

ivy tag list: @preciousbabypeter @buckysmainhxe @galaxyofmyown @ssamorganhotchner @romanogersendgame @elhotchner @louderfortheback @northschild @iammirrorball @rousethemouse @kishie8 @save-the-sky @ssacharcoalgrey @realdirectionx @itsmytimetoodream @art-and-thoughts @red-red-rogue @dellalyra @feetgypsy @stella95827 @katieslotherford @jazzymariexoxoc @quietlyignoringyou @justarandommom @sebastiansstanswhore @lelifesaver @aaron-hotchners-girlfriend @whyamihere96 @sylvieofasgard @redbleedingrose @222brooke @xoprincessmel @girlintheredscarf @radical-gecko @yeehawbitchs @jazzerbelle14 @jayxox @adrienette715 @fudosl @sardonic-courtney @emlynblack @kizzywh @formulapierre @crocodilefeet2707 @mojo366 @spicysimpura @twelfthnightorwhatyouwill1998 @mrs-ssa-hotch @clairedragonessbaker @n0t-yours-you-w1sh @tipsyteenstoday @potatoesonacouch @the-fantasy-loving-angel @my-beel @lex13cm @chibsytelford @crimsonincursive @yourdryadwife @peachysnips

[fefesoutsiderstuff]

More Autistic Cherry Stuff

Started masking around the age of five when she noticed her classmates didn't seem to like her as much as they did her other classmates, connected it to behaviors that were perceived as odd/abnormal.

"Kids my age don't like me because I'm weird" eventually led to: "How much interest, as an average, would you say your peers have in Medieval European geopolitics?" "I don't know what that is." "Oh." *frantically writes in little notebook: delete all evidence of interest in/knowledge of the Middle Ages, Europe, and geopolitics* "Why?" "I just heard those words on the TV last night." "And you decided to... do that?" "...Yes."

Perpetually struggles to copy others while not being super obvious and maintaining enough honesty that she seems interesting

Tries to be more outgoing -> joining random conversations she has nothing to do with

"Should I answer this homework question wrong intentionally so I don't seem like a dork?"

Gets overstimulated at a party and tells the host her mom called and wants her home so she has an excuse to leave

Also lied about what time the party would end so she wouldn't be questioned as to why she was home early

Party ends at 12, tell mom it ends at 10 because she knows she won't be able to function past then and her weekend bedtime is 11, starts goodbye procedures at 9:30

All this effort goes out the window once she's tired/burnt out. School is a horror show for her because it's simultaneously a bunch of loud noises and social conventions. The infamous drive-in double date happened after school. It was also very loud and she was already stressed about getting in a fight with Bob.

Literally just wanted a hand squeeze and felt safe taking the mask off with Ponyboy and only Ponyboy. There was nothing but friendship. She was on the brink of a panic attack.

This, on top of yet another fight with Bob, which ended in a breakup, and then finding out he died, and then getting blamed/yelled at lead to the events of the fic I submitted for Soc September: a complete lack of ability to maintain any semblance of the mask.

Cited John Locke when she dumped Bob. "I'm done." "Did you just break up with me? You can't do that!" "John Locke said that if the government isn't protecting the rights and welfare of the governed, the governed have a right to revolt. When you agreed to be my boyfriend, you agreed to love, respect, and remain loyal to me. You agreed to make me feel safe and comfortable. I agreed to do the same. You are scaring me. I heard the "I got my best girl and some others too" line. Therefore, I have the right to leave." "Cherry, what the fuck?"

Anyway...

Marcia was her biggest cheerleader for demasking once Cherry could finally communicate what was happening.

Cherry did a bit of thinking after the events of the story and sort of started suspecting that she was autistic.

Her cousin was diagnosed with autism and had much higher support needs, but very similar traits to Cherry, just, for lack of better term, on higher levels.

"Hold on. Autism affects the brain. Your sex doesn't determine whether or not you have a brain. So that means girls can be autistic too. But I'm not... wait, what if there are different amounts?"

I'm aware that there's no such thing as less/more autistic. I just didn't know how else to word it and this is Cherry's thought process. This is how she connected the dots.

Her routines are so specific. She always knows what she's supposed to be doing based on the time and date. Things that mess up her routine such as dates/football games stress her out, but she does them anyway.

Does barrel racing and cheer for fun, actually not that good at it, has the proprioception of a box of crayons.

When I say she doesn't want to be a flyer, I mean her internal reaction is to ask the coach how big the curve on their IQ test was when they suggest it, but she sucks it up and does it anyway.

Gets caught, back to ground level, starts crying, they never threw her again.

[otomefiend]

(To no one's surprise) Alfons is giving me the second lead feels in Elbert's main story. He's just so omnipresent and melancholic, and not usually his trollish self.

Just let me love you.

Chapter 11 has this beautiful scene, where Kate is searching for him. (no major spoilers, just wistful Al goodness)

Finally, in a nearby garden, my eyes were caught by the familiar raven black hair, now bathed in pale moonlight.

Kate: "... Alfons."

Sitting cross-legged at the tea table, he appeared to be drinking.

Alfons: "You shouldn't be wandering around so late at night..."

Alfons: "If it were someone else, I'd be tempted to show them a pleasant dream."

Alfons: "You don't seem like the type, oddly enough."

Kate: "...is this something to be happy about?"

Alfons: "To do something so audacious you'd have to be full of sadness and despair."

His words were accompanied by a captivating gaze.

(He's enigmatic as ever...)

Sylvetica flowers (*forget-me-nots TT) swayed at his feet.

Come to think of it, Alfons' family name was the same as the flower's.

Alfons: "Did something happen with El?"

His eyes the colour of the night sky narrowed meaningfully.

I hesitantly approached him and sat down next to him.

Kate: "...lord Elbert wants to possess me."

Alfons: "Ah....I see."

Alfons: "I knew it was only a matter of time, but I never thought it would be tonight."

Alfons: "It becomes even more doubtful whether you'll be able to complete your work as a fairytale writer."

Alfons: "Now I feel troubled."

Kate: "Well, you certainly don't look like it..."

Alfons: "No, no, quite to the contrary, I've always looked out for you, you know?"

His fingers in a black leather glove traced the outline of my chin.

Alfons: "The world is already filled with tragedies,"

Alfons: "It is foolish to try willingly enact one's own."

(All this time Alfons kept telling me not to get involved with Lord Elbert)

Most likely, he knew that this would be nothing more than stepping into misfortune.

He tugged at my chin with a gentle caress, his sweet scent tickling my nose, leaving me conflicted.

Alfons: ".... should I make El lose interest in you?"

~~~more spoilerish part follows~~~

Kate: "........"

Alfons: "If you remain in his sights, the possible consequences are confinement, imprisonment or, worst of all, death."

It was said more bluntly than I would have liked, and sent a shiver down my spine.

But being scared here was not going to solve anything.

Kate: "I'm already aware of it. Right now, I'm more interested in ...... I want to know what Lord Elbert's crime is."

Kate: "That's why ... I was looking for you."

Alfons: "I see... you want to plunge into darkness rather than choose the path that would save your life?"

Kate: "...I ---"

Kate: "Of course I don't want to be locked up or changed into a specimen. But..."

Kate: "More importantly, if that would happen..."

Kate: "Just imagining how deeply Lord Elbert would be hurt by this… how sad it'd make him... is terrifying."

Kate: "That's why ...... I want to know what makes him behave this way."

Alfons: "........"

It was hard to believe that Alfons, who had been with Lord Elbert since childhood, could not be aware of the circumstances.

Kate: "Why does he allow his butler and maids to do such things?"

Kate: "In his position, he should be able to dismiss them, order them to stop, or at least avoid them."

Alfons: "Indeed. After all, he is the master of the house."

Kate: "At the art dealer's party, I was protected by Lord Elbert's express defiance."

Kate: "All he has to do is defend himself in the same way..."

Kate: "The reason he can't do it... is because of his 'sin', isn't it?"

I could feel a light night breeze in the twilight,

A sweet, intoxicating floral scent wafted through the air and tickled my nose.

Alfons: "... even though it's pointless to face reality."

Alfons: "You're serious to a fault... you and El."

Muttering this, he removed his hand from my chin, then got up from his chair and walked away into darkness.

Kate: "Where are you going....?"

Alfons: "Follow me, please."

Kate: "Huh?"

Alfons: "You want to know it, yes? His 'sin'."

~~~

[prettygirlstothefloor]

Cowboy Carter Review

sorry if i write a lot. i like to yap lol

Ameriican Requiem- i'm a huge sucker for a sitar so i was gripped in from the beginning. i grew up on country music (mainly 90s/early 2000s) and so when she showed up at the CMAs and performed with the chicks it was a childhood dream. but as a person who liked country music around the time 9/11 happened, it's only become even more racist since. the way they treated her that night even though she was one of, if not THE, best performer of the night was so upsetting to watch. even as the best artist on the planet, at the top of her game, she's always going to work a million times harder than any of her peers. i'm so proud of her being able to make a song like to this to put her thoughts out on the whole night that night.

Blackbiird- obviously everyone has heard this song before. i was unaware of the actual backstory to the song since i don't follow the beatles too much (i like george harrison but that's about it lol). i was not aware that the song the song was written for black women during the civil rights movement. i assumed the song was mainly written by john lennon who to my knowledge was kind of a grifter when it came to his activism. having this song come right after ameriican requiem is so poetic.

16 Carriages- shockingly i was able to avoid hearing this song in full until tonight. i tend to only do one single per release and so texas hold em was the one. this song is so heartbreaking because i think about all the kids in the entertainment industry who can probably relate to this song all too well

Protector- these songs she makes for her kids... i'm gonna need her to stop. not because they're bad but i straight up can't listen to blue and probably this song because i want a mom like this 😭

My Rose- i hate that this is an interlude. it's so beautiful and not to be dramatic should've been 10 hours long

Smoke Hour • Willie Nelson- idk what to say about this one lol

Texas Hold 'Em- i love this song. the only problem i have with it is it sounds too clean. like the production sounds too clean. maybe it sounds better on the radio where the quality is lower than streaming but its definitely a song that needs to be played not so isolated.

Bodyguard- there's something in this song. she channeled carole king for this on or something. it's so good instantly a top 20 if not top 10 song of hers through her whole discography.

Dolly P- once again idk what to say about this one its too short to say anything

Jolene- i mean i think the same way about her version as i do about dolly's version. why are we getting mad at these women when we should be getting mad at the men?? take away that beyonce is beyonce for a second. if she was a normal lady and this girl was unaware her man was taken, isn't that more on him than anyone? he's letting it happen.

Daughter- her voice in this song is insanity. the control she has is unmatched truly.

Spaghettii- the beat omgggg. i know this would hit so hard in a mashup with "my house" i'm obsessed.

Alliigator Tears- just from hearing snippets of the country music that's on the radio nowadays, i think this might be one of the few songs from this album that they will eat up. i'm not saying that as a diss at all. i love this song alot especially after a second listen.

Smoke Hour II- i guess i can add on here a random tid bit. i made a country playlist in preperation for the album to come out. i made it on valentine's day. tell me why i named it KNTRY. i didn't even know the "radio station" she has on the album was called that lol.

Just for Fun- i don't listen to lana del rey anymore. i had a small time during last year where i did but then she got real messy again and signed that letter thanking joe biden. that being said this song sounds identical to "norman fucking rockwell". which is a compliment because both are good songs. keep jack antonoff away from beyonce though. that's the good thing about beyonce is she doesn't sound like everyone else which he makes everyone do (yes i am a fan of him but i'm critical of his production lol)

II Most Wanted- i'm sorry i've never been a fan of miley cyrus (except for the song she did for black mirror and that one EP she put out). i want to like this song because i like aspects of the song but it being a miley cyrus song with a beyonce feature is not want i want.

Levii's Jeans- this is also a collab i'm not a fan of. i actually enjoy post malone but i would've liked to see them in a more upbeat song.

Flamenco- idk how to take this song. it's stunning as usual. my thoughts on the lyrics though is she's kinda talking to fans maybe like the OG like destiny's child fans who have started to leave because she's starting to experiment more with her sound and they miss her old sound. i would love to know her take on this song in particular. because i know so many artists who decide to change their sound throughout each release are terrified of losing fans because they're so stuck on a certain sound.

The Linda Martell Show- another one i can't say much on since it's an interlude

Ya Ya- now.... remember what i said about bodyguard??? easily top 10. idk where on my ranking but it's there. the interpolation of "these boots were made for walking" and "good vibrations". there's something about that old soul rock sound that gets me every single time. i know that it doesn't sound anything alike but "freedom" has that same vibe, where it takes alot from old 60s blues soul rock. this is gonna hit so good on tour!

Oh Louisiana- i will say i really like this interlude. second favorite out of the ones with actual music

Desert Eagle- another song she chose to make extremely short when it should've been hours long... come on B

Riiverdance- its a fun and cute song. i think the beat is good but i think i like it more on my first listen.

II Hands II Heaven- i'm hoping this will finally click for me. im seeing everyone really love this song but idk whats not clicking for me. i'll definitely keep listening to it though maybe someday.

Tyrant- someone said this is the thique of cowboy carter and yeah i can definitely hear it. it's a sexy song and it's a fun song. definitely like it alot more after a second listen

Sweet • Honey • Buckiin'- her sampling "i fall to pieces" in this song is so special to me. i do want someone to take this "honey" and add it to the end of pure/honey though i wonder if it would sound any good. i think sweet and buckiin are the best songs out of the three of these.

Amen- i love how this really rounds out the album, calling back to the first song. it feels and is a very emotional song. don't know if i'll go back to it only because i think it could make me cry lol

overall, i think it's a solid album. if we're comparing the acts, which idk how you can because they're two distinctly different sounds, i would probably still go with renaissance but there's still so many solid songs on this album that are now some of my top faves. usually i rate out of 10 but it feels too low tbh, so i'm rating it out of 100. it will definitely grow on me just like renaissance did. 89/100.

[shinesurge]

ok nobody asked but i've been chewing on it and i think my own personal reasons for immediately hitting 11 when i see the Carbon Monoxide Detector bit is because i'm one of those socially inept weirdos whose coping mechanism of choice is "basically doing stand-up comedy," and the carbon monoxide people are some of the most exhausting audiences you can run into

most of the time you get people who are unimpressed by your humor OR they're completely unused to it so you're getting laughs and a good grade in socializing (both are Fine) OR if you're really lucky someone is catching the ball and throwing it back (The Ideal). But there's a secret third thing where someone is acting like you couldn't POSSIBLY have said The Joke on purpose, whatever you just said was SO fucking strange or clever or whatever that you, tragically afflicted in some way that makes you too stupid to choose your words intentionally, must not be aware that what you just said could be taken as a joke

But it's okay! this helpful audience member is going to stop everything, take your hand and look in your eyes, and inform you in the most lukewarm way possible that not only do they think you're not smart enough to be funny, but your primary way of communicating comfortably isn't going to work here! they will be undermining you and ruining your punchlines for the rest of the night, the ball has been intercepted and confiscated

if you're not a comedian here's another angle; were you a teenage girl surrounded by people who had to halt everything to point it out anytime anything you said could MAYBE be taken as an innuendo, because a teenage girl couldn't possibly have made that kind of joke on purpose? remember how annoying it was trying to talk about shit with someone who had to pause every other line to collect themself about the alternate universe where you're very embarrassed about whatever basic thing you said that they couldn't handle? and it felt like being stuck on a tightrope where you had to decide between being boring but maybe listened to or constantly have your autonomy called into question because even your own weird personality isn't allowed to belong to you?

idk i can't speak for everyone obviously but i keep seeing people Bewildered about why some folks get irritated about it so here's a possibility. LIKE it's fine to think someone's not funny and it's fine to think they are but these kinds of comments come off more like "i thought what you said was funny but for reasons i'm not going to examine i'm embarrassed for thinking that, so i'm gonna flip it on you and act like you didn't say it For Real." it's frustrating and i think people are justified to feel frustrated about it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 4 Ep 12

The Knock AKA "Who's Dating Who, Again?"

This one's been requested a few times, and it seemed like the PERFECT one to help me come down from the labor that was S2E10/11/12. Plus, it has one of the first scenes of Chenford I ever encountered on Twitter that left me thinking, "Okay, they're right. I need to know about this 'Chenford' thing."

SPOILER ALERT: Standard operating procedure for these Metas (if you're new) is to warn you that there will be spoilers. I try to write these as though I'm watching for the first time without forethought (so that newbies can read through without fear), but I'm gonna spoil ALLLL of this delicious episode.

All that out of the way? Everyone clear on the rules? Awesome, because I'm ready to dive in.

"I hate beach calls. Getting this close to the water without being able to dive in is torture."

Hey! I "dive in" to each Meta. So that kinda made me warm and fuzzy inside.

"Not for me." "There's no surprise, there. Hating one of nature's greatest gifts is totally on-brand for you." "I don't hate the beach. I'm just not a fan of the ocean."

I. Am. Horrified! All this time I've been mis-remembering that Tim hated sand, but it's the ocean he hates. I feel like a terrible fan! Tim, can you ever forgive me for getting it wrong?

Oh, wait, he's fictional. I'm good. But I hope y'all can forgive me. Gee wiz, Rachel, get it together!

"You know, psychologically speaking, fear of the water equates to a fear of not being in complete control of your environment. Again, on-brand. Uh, you know, also, good luck dating a lifeguard."

Lucy is teasing him, and I love it. Look, we are in an era where Tim and Lucy have some feelings stirring that they are not ready to deal with. So, throwing jabs and jokes at one another feels safe, but outsiders are looking at this thinking, "Geez, these two need to stop talking and start kissing."

"Did you hear her say the hottest?"

Tim, dear, you don't need your wife to validate your hotness when your placeholder girlfriend calls it out. Like, I know you care about Lucy and what she thinks of you, but you shouldn't care if she notices you're hot when you're dating another chick who is literally five feet away from you.

Just sayin'. If you're looking for Lucy to call you "hot" maybe you should, y'know, be dating Lucy. Just sayin'.

*giggle* "What's that look?" "Nothing. What?" "You wanted to strangle that guy last week. Now you're all sweet on him?" "'Sweet on him'? What, did, did we suddenly just get dropped in the 1950's? What?"

It should be said that all it took was a look. Tim knew from one look that Lucy had an attraction to this guy. It took one look. And Tim's none-too-happy about it. But he can't say that and he wouldn't acknowledge it.

Especially with the biggest mistake of his life hovering behind him. Tim turns to face her, but as he does, he steps over alongside Lucy. Because, at the end of the day, Lucy is who he wants by his side.

Is he fully aware of it, yet? No. Tim's a champion at repressing thoughts and emotions. But, subconsciously, he shifts closer to Lucy, even as he turns to face Ashley.

"Hey, do you have plans tonight?"

Watch how Lucy presses her lips together and turns away, finding some way to occupy herself so she doesn't have to listen to this.

"I'll have to think about it." "What's there to think about?"

She can't understand why Tim isn't jumping at the chance to spend the night in the sand eating experimental food, and that just goes to show that she doesn't know the man at all.

His wife has to step in to help.

"Uh, the control freak in him doesn't like to try new things. So..."

Tim is so annoyed, he turns to face his wife. Like, he turns away from his girlfriend to face Lucy.

"I'm not a control freak."

Tim, have you forgotten who you are? You orchestrate Tim Tests that kept Lucy under your thumb as a Rookie. You like to do the same thing every weekend, if you can help it. Maintaining control of your environment is completely your brand (or "on-brand" as Lucy would say).

Lucy cocks her head to the side in a silent, "Really?"

"I would be happy to go to your dinner thing."

Wrong move, Bradford. Spiting your wife by going to something supremely uncomfortable with the Baywatch Bitch is not going to go well for you.

"It's Ash."

Yeah, that relationship's gonna be "ash" soon enough. Trust me, this isn't sustainable. You can't spend every day with the girl of your dreams and every night with a person who doesn't even know you and pressures you into doing what she wants.

"I was thinking of asking Byron and his girlfriend-"

Tim isn't into that. He doesn't like Byron. We can see in one glance that he doesn't want to be even more uncomfortable at this thing.

His eyes turn to the woman right beside him—Lucy. Because, let's be real, we're at a point where Tim would love to share a dinner outside of work with Lucy.

Watch the wheels turn as he realizes he could have a buffer against this horrible night.

"You know what, Lucy's been pining after that place all day. Maybe we ask her."

Ashley doesn't know that Lucy's right in front of him. But Lucy's thrilled. And this is the epitome of their "Grumpy/Sunshine" relationship because while Lucy's beaming in front of him and holding her hands in prayer position, Tim's glaring at her and trying to get her to calm down with a wave of his hand.

"Cool. Does she have a date to bring?" "Hey Sanford. You got plans tonight?" "What are you doing?"

Picking an awful boyfriend for you because he's too afraid to pick himself. Look, Chris and Lucy started out butting heads, and we can argue that so did Tim and Lucy. Starting points for relationships can happen in any combination of scenarios. But the trajectory is what matters.

Baywatch Bimbo doesn't know Tim at all, and I don't have high hopes for this dude.

Also, can I just say that whenever Tim and Lucy say, "What are you doing" to one another, the other is usually up to no good or trying to do the best thing. Trust me. You'll see.

"Lucy needs a date to a fancy dinner." "It'll be fun."

With Chris gone, Lucy gives him a look. Reminds me a little of the first time Tim met Caleb and how embarrassed she was by him. Like, "what the hell, man?!"

"What? Don't be such a control freak."

Look. At. Tim's. SMILE. Because he's purposefully needling at her. It's part of their rhythm and language. And at this point in the show, it's safe. He's not ready to acknowledge that there might be something else there besides friendship.

And Lucy glares (as she should) at her husband.

"I told a food friend I was coming here and they flipped."

I once made the mistake of bringing food to the beach on a windy day. My twin sons' first birthday weekend we went to Cape Charles armed with two smash cakes and good attitudes. It ended with sandy buttercream and a stranger helping bathe our kids in the ocean water.

Some people may love eating at the beach, but I'm not a fan.

"I'm sorry, but who puts a restaurant on the beach? I mean, you're just asking for sand in your food. I don't get it."

Tim! Mi amigo!! But this is a case where Lucy is "used to you" and the others aren't, necessarily. Tim's going to call it like he sees it, sometimes, and he doesn't care what people think of him.

But, he needs to care a little because his girlfriend is right there and she is super excited about... sandy food.

"Was any of that English?" "Let me translate. All you need to know is that pancake is made of mushroom, which I know is not your favorite, so I'll just-" "Oh, no, yeah, take it."

Did you two, just, like, totally forget who your dates are here? Tim. Lucy. That is married behavior. Forget dating. Y'all've skipped it and gone straight to marriage.

Lucy scooped the pancake off his plate.

Ashley's eyes follow the fucking pancake because she's never seen Lucy and Tim in the wild, before, and holy shit she just took the food off his plate, and he didn't care. In fact, he invited her to do it.

Ashley has never been so mad at a pancake in her life. Be mad, Budget Barbie. You're the one who made him come here.

"... once on vacation I did have curry goat." "Was his name Gerald?" "God, shut up! *laughing* Don't." "It's a great story." "It's nothing." "No, it's something."

You know that couple that tells tag-team stories at the table? That's Tim and Lucy right now. My husband and I do it, and when we had my cousin and his wife over for dinner a few months back, we learned they do it, too.

And Tim's "It's a great story" isn't subtitled (probably because of how quickly it's said), but I love that detail. He wants to tell the story with Lucy. It's their story that they're sharing together.

And the clueless idiots still don't realize they're already married.

"Okay, we had a 2-11 at a petting zoo." "All the animals got lose."

Tim's the rambling husband who is so excited to share, he's forgotten everyone at the table doesn't speak the same language. And Lucy's the one translating. Because Lucy speaks Tim. It's not just the cop-code, but just the Tim-code.

She knows the meaning behind the words, and like a good and patient wife, she's not making him feel bad for speaking in a manner that's clear for him. She's simply providing context to the others on the outside.

Because, no matter how physically close Chris and Ashley get to Tim and Lucy, there is only one Tim for Lucy and one Lucy for Tim.

"So, we nab our suspect. We get him back to the Shop and that's where we find-" "Gerald the Goat. He is so cute." "And he's sitting in Lucy's seat." "Because I forgot that I had rolled down the-the window. You know, who knew goats could jump?"

I love her looking back to him on this. Like, "right, honey?" And have we ever heard them speak like this? No, no we haven't. Because in this moment Tim and Lucy have both completely forgotten themselves and are just having fun together.

They don't realize they've stepped outside of the paradigm of the evening—acting the couple instead of dating the people across from them.

Also, mad respect to Melissa O'Neil for actually rolling the window with her hand. Kids today have no clue, but it looks like she remembers! It was a tiny detail that made me smile.

"She tries to talk him out of the Shop, but it's a goat, right? So she spends 5 minutes making goat noises at this thing." "Yes, he called me 'goat whisperer' for all of last February."

Awww. Her first pet name from him. Come on, if Isabel could dub him "Eagle Eye" and it turn into a pet name, I can definitely see this being their first, even if they didn't realize it.

Also, can we please appreciate that some hapless suspect witnessed this whole ordeal?

Like, there was someone in lockup saying, "man, my cops must've been high because one of them was making goat noises the whole time".

And. Look. At. Tim's. Smile. He beaming. All of him is alight, engaged in this conversation with the love of his life. He just doesn't know it, yet.

"It was great." "Darn thing wouldn't move! So, you know, we finally had to call Animal Control." "Right?"

Look. At. Them. The framing of this is so perfect. We're on the inside with Tim and Lucy, who are looking at one another with pure joy. And on the outside, looking in, are Chris and Ashley.

Tim and Lucy are smiling and I bet Ashley's never seen him smile this big with her. That's because it's not for you, Beach Girl. Step off, now, before you break our boy's heart.

And we end on Ashley's face. Because we don't know Chris well enough to hate him (trust me, Rachel from the Future knows we will), but Ashley's realizing there's a kink in her "Enslave Tim Bradford" plan.

She's met a guy with a nice house, a steady job, a strong moral compass, and a heapful of loyalty. It's like a diamond in the rough if you're talking LA dating. And she likes the idea of this life—but not necessarily with Tim.

He's a project for her. She wants to mold him into the right man because the rest of the package is so appealing. But, honey, that'll never work.

Tim is growing and changing, sure, but that's the result of years of learning to bend. And I'm so horrified you think you can break him to get what you want.

"Well, people don't like the idea of experimenting on the dead for emotional reasons, but it's an important tool in the medical field." "Yeah, I'm not arguing that. All I'm saying is turning people into cyborgs is how the world is going to end."

Look. At. Their. BODY LANGUAGE. Tim and Lucy are turned towards one another, their eyes locked on each other. It's as though Chris and Ashley don't even exist.

"So, then I guess you haven't volunteered to be an organ donor when you die."

This is like the child at the table trying to enter the adult conversation. Famously, when I was 4-years-old, I was frustrated to be left out of the adult conversation. I set my elbows on the table very determinedly and said, "So, what do you think about peas?"

Ashley's giving off those same vibes.

"Tim? No."

Because his wife knows him best. Like, Lucy doesn't even give Tim the room to answer. It's not that she's cutting him off, but a husband and wife know one another so well, sometimes, it just flows.

"He wants to be cremated and spread over Dodger Field." "I was joking when I said that. My ashes would screw up the pH level of the grass." "I can't believe you actually called and asked." "I like the Dodgers."

Third wheel energy, my man. Third wheel.

Look, this whole date has been a massive disaster... for Chris and Ashley. For Chenford, it was actually a fun time. And for us viewers, it was kinda validating. We don't get to see every second Tim and Lucy are together, so knowing that they can speak so easily and volley off of one another so naturally in a different setting? Pure magic.

"Anything in these videos that can lead us to where he's hiding?" "Not that I've seen." "Well, let's keep looking."

The staging's been really interesting, because Tim is standing over Lucy, in a position of authority. But here, he chooses to sit alongside her at the table. He's joining her in the effort. Much as Tim protests their partnership, it's there.

And the inclusive language, too. It's beautiful. Tim is acting like they are a unit, here, and I really love it.

When Angela comes into the room, Tim has turned his body to face Lucy and the laptop. And it's eerily reminiscent of the night before over dinner with their separate dates.

In the morgue hallway, Lucy is the first one to spot the blood on the floor, and Tim's gaze follows hers. I love that touch. Yes, Tim is Senior Officer, but Lucy's damn good at what she does. And Tim knows it.

This next sequence is really beautiful to watch, just the way that Tim and Lucy move in sync. They don't need to check in with one another, too much. They don't have to worry if the other is doing the right thing. They're united in this effort. They both know this dance very well, and they're great dance partners.

"It's him. He's got hostages."

Tim gently pushes Lucy where he needs her, and it reminds me of the gentle pressure of a lead when you're dancing ballroom. One of my instructors said I was a great follow, and I swear it's the only time in my life where I excelled as a follower.

He's not shoving her. He's leading her. And she trusts his guide to go where he needs her for their next move.

Also, can we please applaud Tim Bradford for that genius move with the body cam? Way to use what you have to get the job done!

"So, what's our game plan?"

Look, we're far past Tim being her TO and her being his Rookie. But, I don't think we're past these two teaching one another lessons. That's going to be a life-long thing, methinks.

And, look, that plan looks like a "Tim" plan to me (he does like to come at things from a different angle), but I'm cool if it was Lucy, too. They both think creatively, and I think that's part of their appeal to one another.

"Have to be honest, I wasn't really feeling last night... hanging with Ashley and Tim." "I am so sorry. Tim and I spend so much time together on the job, we have a shorthand."

Lucy Chen. He didn't tell you why he wasn't vibing. He just said he wasn't vibing. But you already knew you were having way too much fun with your husband last night.

And now that Tim's conveniently opened the "Chris" door for you, you're going to keep walking through. Because Tim's not an option, right? Might as well have some fun, right?

"... and then you spent the whole night talking to Lucy. It didn't feel good."

Goooooodddd. Let that hate grow inside you so you leave our boy alone. What? I can dream, right? This is only going to end in tears for one of them, and I'd rather it be Asinine Ashley than our boy Tim.

"Life can't just be about watching the Rams game on the couch, or talking about the job with your partner." "She is not my partner, okay? I am her Sergeant. And, that's not the point."

He is so caught up in trying to keep himself separated from Lucy that he's explaining away his feelings and setting up road blocks in front of his girlfriend. Because as long as there are obstacles, Tim can keep himself from thinking of Lucy as... Lucy.

This beautiful, bright ball of sunshine that fell into his world, warming his chilled skin with her radiance, piercing the darkness of his thoughts with her rays of light.

It was a close call at that dinner, and he already knew he needed to apologize when he next saw Ashley.

But the walls that separate Tim and Lucy are thinning—so he has to cling to his mental roadblocks to keep himself from falling through and running to her.

This is the era of Tim and Lucy running from one another. Not directly, of course, but as a way of avoiding their feelings. Because at that dinner they were downright married. And it was fun. And it was nice. But he's dating the Blonde Bimbo and she's going to Pinks with Cockblock Chris.

Someday I have hope these two'll get it together. In the meantime... we enjoy the ride.

As always, thank you so much for reading! This one came together quicker than anticipated.

And thank you to those who have messaged to check on me and my blasted back. I have a long list of things wrong with my body. Whenever I orient a new doctor, I welcome them to the freak show.

I still live a beautiful life. I love my treadmill, my stationary bike, and way too many Jillian Michaels DVDs I've horded over the years. I can bike ride and roller skate and trampoline. But I'm always in pain. I can't remember the last day of my adult life that I wasn't in pain.

This back thing hasn't happened since before my twins were born (they're 8, for reference) and is a result of life circumstances that will pass.

Today was my first day all week of not being on a heating pad half the day, and I only took pain pills once, which is good. Progress. Moving forward. Getting better.

Life isn't simple or easy for any of us. We're all up against something, whether it's physical, emotional, spiritual, or psychological. Or some combination of the aforementioned.

The point is, I'm thankful. I can be bitter and angry about the body I've been given, but this body carried three babies. This body has gone amazing places. This body is still moving and shaking and doing.

And maybe my stomach's not as tight as it once was, and I have deep scarring on my tailbone from surgeries, and I have to adapt my exercises constantly... but I'm alive. I'm here. And I'm going to make the most of every moment I'm given.

One breath at a time, loves. That's the only way through.

[no-where-new-hero]

Time for another Lantern Hill Book club catchup post! I wish I didn't have time to read and gather my thoughts only once a week at this point, but oh well ;(

CH. 9: (I'm pretty sure this is where I left off?)

LMM gets so much mileage out of personifying 60 Gay Street in this chapter, fully appraising us of its unfriendliness and hostility. Absolutely the most vicious house of her canon, I think--a pure extension of Grandmother's personality.

Jane felt that it might help the ache a little if she could only have a talk with mother, but when she tried mother's door it was locked. Jane felt that mother didn't want to talk to her about this and that hurt worse than anything else.

I've already bitched about this paragraph, but I'm going to bitch again. Robin's inability to put herself in her daughter's shoes for 10 seconds and at least TRY not to make this sudden summons seem so scary or overwhelming is so frustrating. If Jane has told her mother how much she likes their frivolous little chats and things and it causes Robin enough pain for Jane to stop confessing this kind of thing to her, Robin SHOULD have the awareness to realize what Jane needs most is an emotional connection with her. Earlier on, Jane is prevented from talking to Robin by Grandmother, but this paragraph kind of explicitly lays out how it isn't just Grandmother's heavy-handedness preventing Robin from being a good mother but Robin's own short-sightedness. Even comforting lies would have been better for Jane at this point.

CH. 10:

Love how LMM has so many jokes about PEI being too small to live on so that people must live in perpetual danger of falling into the sea.

CH. 11:

I don't think we'll actually lose Jody to the orphanage before the end of the book but goodness LMM knows how to pile on the tragedies.

...they drove along over the elfish underground city that comes into view under the black street on a rainy night.

A rare case of LMM being an urban writer. Of course she makes it as magical as she makes her natural landscapes.

She thought Jane quite the dumbest child she had ever encountered.

This constant harping on Jane's purported idiocy feels like such an implicit Maud judgment to me. Like. I feel like the average adult wouldn't be so immediately blunt about an 11-year-old's intellect or lack thereof? Unless it's just different mores since I feel like nowadays an adult would take silence as shyness. But Maud's own ferocious intelligence gives me the impression that she would be very capable of cataloguing people as dumb. (Okay I also just realized that during this time, "dumb" might have been used for people without speech but both Phyllis and Grandmother freely mock Jane for not being very bright which still reinforces my point a bit).

CH. 12:

Getting a lot of echoes of other LMM books in here:

She drew herself away and took in the lady with one of her straight, deliberate glances. (such an Emily Starr gesture) …but that dreadful old car of his broke down half-way." (Andrew appears to have bought his car from the same place as Barney Snaith) Perhaps the "Janie" was the last straw. Jane was not going to be "Janied." (Aunt Irene is giving a weird combination of Aunt Laura and Aunt Ruth.)

Aunt Irene is intensely creepy in a way I can't quite put a finger on. Well, I can--she's as possessive and judgmental as Grandmother, just more sugary. But their appraising and judging qualities are the same. Also the obsession with love meaning jealousy is really coming through as a motif here: Grandmother's jealous posessiveness of Robin, Robin thinking Andrew was jealous of Jane, Irene thinking Robin was jealous of her and Andrew's closeness, Irene's unnecessary attachment to Andrew. She seems to be twisting everyone's emotions around and then blaming them for things that don't seem to be there.

And I was always so fond of your mother…but…well, I don't quite think she ever really liked me.

This is the first sign of sense in Robin that I've seen so far.

CH. 13:

...in which Jane continues to have traumatic mealtimes with gaslighting adults.

More parallels to other LMM media! First we have Andrew "Kenneth Howard" Stuart to rival Barney "John Foster" Snaith, because beloved writers being your very close kin abound in the LMMverse as much as forgotten heirs to wealthy corporations being your neighbors abound in kdramas, apparently. Second, we have familial phrenology to catalogue the features inherited a la Emily Starr, as well as a lot of bald-faced commentary on appearances, and the Douglas Starr energy in Andrew is intensifying. I have to say Jane's acceptance and love of him feels a bit sudden--and I'm not entirely sure how much I approve of this bit:

Would he be disappointed because she was not pretty? Would he think her mouth too big?

immediately after her resolution not to be "bright and fresh for anybody." Will need to keep mulling over this.

CH. 14:

Aunt Irene made a fuss over dad. She purred over him...actually purred. And dad liked her purring and her honey-sweet phrases just as well as he had liked her cake. Jane saw that clearly.

For all that LMM adores and elevates cats, she manages to infuse untold amounts of disgust into describing people as purring in a way I find fascinating. I will never move on from how she describes Teddy "purring and scintillating" for Ilse, and here she's using it to illustrate Irene's corrosive sucking-up to Andrew. Jane again knows her onions about human psychology.

"She's got a secretive strain in her, Andrew, that I confess I don't like." "Knows how to keep her own counsel, eh?" said dad. "It's more than that, Andrew. She's deep...take my word for it, she's deep. Old Lady Kennedy will never be dead while she is alive.

More Aunt Ruth and Aunt Elizabeth type lines: "sly and deep" and "your grandfather Archibald won't be dead as long as you're live" make a comeback here.

And the rest of the chapter feels so much like Barney and Valancy heading to Mistawis: the way Andrew talks about his life (their tones are very similar), Jane's feeling of peace and freedom at Brookview. A small spotted dog in place of Good Luck and Banjo.

I also now have a strong craving to try wild-strawberry jam.

CH. 15:

This happens to be one of the days when I like myself reasonably well.

What a mood? This line suddenly made me like Andrew way more.

Once I took you down and dipped you in it, to the horror of…of several people. You were properly baptized before that in the Anglican church in Charlottetown…but that was your real baptism. You are the sea's child and you have come home."

Okay, I REALLY like Andrew in this chapter. I think in a paragraph like this I can kind of catch the glimpse of why he seems similar to Dean Priest. This is such a Dean thing to do and a Dean thing to talk about. Ditto with finding a magic house. Andrew lacks the cynicism of the Barney/Dean type, but he has their whimsy--possibly closer to Dean with it than Barney.

It's also very peculiar because Barney/Valancy, Emily/Dean, and Jane/Andrew all feel like they work around similar conversations and emotional connections despite being different relationships. One is romantic, one is romantic/platonic but also slightly familial, one is entirely familial, and yet they all cling to similar themes. Emily and Jane talk about who they resemble to Dean and Andrew. Setting up a domestic space becomes a plot point. Valancy and Jane are entirely happy with their author beloveds, yet feel a little insecure about how much that happiness and love is reciprocated. They travel by car to escape the peering judgments of society.

I will do my best to keep up with the book club from here, since things have gotten very interesting very quickly.

[cobrafantasies]

Author Question Tag Game Thing

Thank you so much for the tag @siancore! 💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

457,340

3. What fandoms do you write for?

SamBucky

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Pretend We're Real (Until We Are) So, This is Jealously The Winter Soldier Enjoys Baseball Take Care Focus on You

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. I get too excited not to.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Really, I only write happy endings but I guess I'll say The Night Hell Freezes Over because even though things work out in the end, it's just a road of angst until the very end.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe I'll say Heartless Hunk of Metal because it's a fairytale AU so it feels like more was at stake and they had to work harder to get there.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I would say I've only gotten some stern criticism. I've made some honest mistakes purely from lack of knowledge/awareness but I've been lucky that people haven't been brutally hateful when criticizing.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, too much. Recently, I've actually calmed down and started writing (hopefully) elegant alludes to smut but in the beginning, almost every story had very long smut scenes or was all smut. I would say all my smut is usually emotional/sensual and sometimes I dabble in kinks lol. I'd like to write kinkier stuff but I'm nervous.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, it's probably because I become obsessed with one fandom/paring at a time and strictly write for them until I move on.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think so. A couple people have left comments asking if they could but I never followed up to ask for a link so I haven't seen them.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

SamBucky.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Maybe the Avengers party where Bucky will get drunk on Asgardian mead. It sounds like a simple story but it's been sitting in my docs forever.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'd like to say I'm good at dialogue and characterization (at least of the mains)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action for sure. Anything that requires research, I'm so lazy sometimes it's the whole reason I don't write a certain story. And lastly, complex plot points. I struggle with writing lengthy, intricate multi-chapter fics.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm scared of this. Sometimes I want to but I know Google Translate isn't always reliable and I don't know any other language well enough.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Friends. It's the only other fandom I've written for. Was obsessed until I moved on to SamBucky. We'll see how long this one lasts :)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I usually go with So, This is Jealously since I'm proud of a lot of things within that story.

No pressure, tagging: @wilsonsb4be, @princeofbadassery @abarbaricyalp @six2vii @thatmexisaurusrex

[yamisnuffles]

twenty questions for fic writers

Tagged by my best gal @feralkwe

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 46. I have a lot of fic that just lives on Tumblr or that was on older fic sites, so that's not really indicative of my total fic amount lol.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 338,924. Again, A LOT of one shots and stuff elsewhere.

3. What fandoms do you write for? On AO3, Dragon Age, Mass Effect, FFXIV, Skyrim, Good Omens, One Piece, and Star Wars

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Blitzed (GO 1941 smut and my first smut ever lol), The Altus Inquisitor (DAI AU, pretty much as it says on the tin), Get Closer To Me (GO S1 night at Crowley's place fic), Heartbeats (a series of one shots for a One Piece Corazon lives AU), and The Ecstasy of Anthony J Crowley (GO divinity kink smut fic)

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to! I didn't always but I'm trying to get better about that because I really appreciate each and every comment.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Uuuuuh, might be For Want of Words? It's GO post S2 and not fix it so it is not happy lol. Possibly Wicked White, which ends as Shadowbringers ends and thus isn't the happiest place for a WoL/Emet fic lol. Otherwise, they're series and neither finished but my Law as the new Corazon AU series was just bummers all the way down and, ironically, Too Much of a Good Thing gets progressively less... optimistic. Lots of sad smut and series I guess.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? If I resist making a smut joke, Just For Two is one of the fluffiest things I've ever written. Pure GO S1 fluff fic written for the fun of it.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really? I got an... indirectly cruel comment one time on something but people are generally very nice on the fics themselves.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. The Good Omens kind lmao. I mean, I've branched out but it was the first fandom I wrote smut for and continues to be the one that gets the most. It hovers between that M and E rating for good reason. Very feelsy and in the case of GO, I love some religious symbolism lol. I like to weave it into longer works but I also happily write one shots (or try, sometimes it takes a few chapters to get to my one shot plans).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I don't think I've ever written a crossover. I've done crossover art but I tend to stay within a fandom for fic.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Again... I don't think so?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! I used to write with my best friend a lot in high school and I adored it. It's one of the things I miss most about that friendship and, in general, something I miss doing.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Do I even have to say? Aziraphale/Crowley own my soul. That said, I do have the softest of soft spots for my Trev/Dorian and Shakarian. Also, Justice/Anders/Hawke because it burns with the added power of spite.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Ahahaha... *sweats nervously.* So many. I am determined to finish the Altus Inquisitor but it's hard to get my heart back into DA with good reason. I'd love to continue my various OP series but I doubt I ever will for a few reasons.

16. What are your writing strengths? Characterization. I work really hard on it. I obsess over it. There is nothing I think of more in any fandom than characterization lol. I'd also like to think I'm good with emotion and description.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Finishing anything ever. I'm a whimsical creature and if I'm not into something at the moment, it's really hard to get myself to focus on things. I also feel like a monkey with a typewriter any time I'm trying to write smut, but I think that's just the nature of the beast.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I am really bad with languages so I try to just avoid it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Jurassic Park! As a wee bab I wrote about a raptor ripping someone open and eating them lmao.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? Oh man, oh man, this is actually really hard for me. There are a lot of things I've written that I'm fond of for different reasons. I adore my AUs because I put so much of my soul into them to make them feel authentic. Various fics for various fandoms hit hard for different reasons. If I absolutely HAD TO choose, I'd say either The Altus Inquisitor, because Lucien is my baby and I genuinely enjoy rereading it, or Dig Down from my GO AU, which I feel like is just a strong short fic and best sums up that whole series. Both are hard to recommend though because one is chronically unfinished (I am trying!) and the other is smack dab in the middle of a series.

I tag anyone who wants to do this because I am too tired to think rn. Go forth with my blessing

[iwaasfairy]

Heyo Fairy!! I hope your day/night/evening/morning/afternoon is going amazingly, and that you never forget that you are that bitch! (Affectionate, obv) Seriously, I remember when I first started having these "darker" thoughts about characters and I was like 'What the fuck is wrong with me?' and then years later, I find your and Rhi's blog. Y'all let me realize that it's perfectly normal to think these things, even if those who don't, or deny that they do, think otherwise. So, seriously, thank you, y'all mean so, so, SO MUCH to me! Like big sisters that help me see there's nothing wrong with me, even if people I know irl would say "wtf?" 🥹

Ahhh, sorry, that was so fucking sappy! 🫣 I just wanted to ya know that it really does mean a lot to people like me, and your other followers, that y'all are brave enough to post the things you do despite all the little bitches that try and tear y'all down 🥹

... That was sappy again 🤦🏻‍♀️ y'know what, what the fuck ever, I'm just a soft person when it comes to emotions and shit, I'll deal with it 😤

That all being said, I can't belIEVE it took me this long to comment on 2 of Cups! Okay, so, when part 1, and 2, came out, I had no idea who Rin and Sae were. I didn't even know what Blue Lock was, just that it's a manga/anime. I was like oh, okay, cool! I read part one anyway, and was all like "... I gotta watch this. If the anime isn't out yet, I gotta watch it as soon as it DOES come out." (I'm an anime only, because I almost always give characters the exact same voice if I have nothing to go off of 😒 I struggle with it fr fr. anYWAY—) So, I don't... Think? I'd read part 2 yet, tbh I think I completely forgot about it, the memory is NOT good, I'm so sorry! So when the anime DID come out, I wasn't actually aware 😅 until they uploaded episode, like... 10? Or 11? Of the English Dub? AnywAY! THE POINT Is, I started watching because of things I've read, I was TIRED of looking up every single character when I read about them 😭 SO, I watched, got caught up to where it is now, and am waiting for the next episode, and you mention 2 of Cups part 3 is coming out, and I was like "oH SHIT, I REMEMBER READING PART 1!" So, I went back, read parts 1 and 2, absolutely ADORED them, despite the pain 🥹 Like, Rin's pining, but not wanting to do anything because of SAE, that little bitch, that won't admit he's the sAME and keeps being an AsS when Rea-chan and Rin are even remotely affectionate, AaAAAAHHHH! And I was so exCITED for part 3! And then part 3 came out, and... It absolutely bLEW MY IMAGINATION OUT OF THE PARK, LIKE!! !! I dunno, what I was expecting to happen, but I'm so happy it went the way it did! I mean, yeah, sure, it hURT, what with Sae continuing to be an ass, and RIn, poor rIN! Sweet baby, he's so! I can't even begin to espresso how in absolute awe I'm in of this mASTERPIECE! It keeps me up at night, thinking about it, and about what may happen next. Like, did Sae go back to, I think it was... Spain? Did he just go somewhere else for the time being, and he'll be back? Will Rin give in to his fantasies? Will he be soft and gentle if he does? Would he absolutely destroy Rea-chan with his roughness? Would he start off gentle, and then lose it?

So many questions, but I can wait to have them answered; I know you work incredibly hard, and that writing really takes time 🥰 PLUS, we can't have you not sleeping! The Queen of Fairies needs her sleep, she must rest and take care of herself 🥺 Love you much, take care!! 🥰

firST OF ALL,no yOURE THAT BITCH!!!! YOU ARE! YOU ARE! wtfFDSGD thIS IS SO FUCKING SWEET im gonna cry and scREam !!! ♡♡♡ yes iT is totally normal for you to thrive off of taboo, tIS ouR little bug brains,, and alSO IM MASTER OF SAP i doNT MIND YOU BEING SAPPY PLS THIS IS SO SWEEETTTTTT :/ makes me cry. i hope you know i see every like and rb and i get the dumbest fondest grin on my stupid face any time you're in my notifs, or def when you send an ask or a comment or anything i jUST mELT

and stOPPDbhFu MASTERpiECE i??FYFDyd pLS pls pls oml iM SO VERY VERY HAPPY you LIKED thE FIc and iM bery happy i decided to give myself room for a part 4 bc i think iLL need iT im just Too foND of thEm!! and YES oml manY quESTions right??? i! haven't figured them all out yet so i can't exactly tell you everything but i do know that Sae's still in Japan, he's not yet going back to Spain,, i think Sae just can't handle the idea of rea-chan being with Rin and a similar grudge against him,, and :))) heheh for the smut :))) we shall have to wait and see

[brown-little-robin]

.

[hatsue-exe]

Jujutsu Kaisen Men With a S/O that crochets:

request: I liked your reader headcanons with the Jujutsu Kaisen men, may I request Headcanons with the Jujutsu Kaisen men including Suguru Getou with a s/o who likes to crochet? Thank you and I hope you have a great day/ night💗

warnings: gn!reader

Fushiguro Toji:

He loves it. He will never have to spend money on gifts again! It's perfect!

Toji likes to watch you while you crochet, trying to make sense of your moves.

You gifted him a crocheted worm once.

"Thanks, doll." He proceeded to hit you with it.

You'll find him sleeping cuddle up to it eventually, so it's worth it.

Geto Suguru:

He asks you to teach him so you can spend some quality time together, but even if he ends up giving up, he'll still insist on keeping you company while you work on your projects.

Sits you on his lap while you crochet.

Suguru loves to wear whatever you make him and will ask for more items. At some point, his whole wardrobe looks like handmade stuff.

"I like to think I can somehow carry you with me wherever I go." He said once, shrugging like he was stating the most obvious thing in the world, making you blush like crazy.

Geto tells everyone about your hobby and how good you are at it. 11/10. Calm and proud boyfriend.

Gojo Satoru:

BULLIES YOU (again, yes, I'm sorry, but it's true).

"Isn't that an old people hobby? What are you, 70?"

Asks you to crochet a white puppy for Megumi after his Divine Dog gets destroyed on a mission.

Gift him a scarf to match with his blindfold, and he will wear it even in the summer.

Brags about it saying it's "tailor-made".

Kamo Choso:

Now, this is a hobby he's aware of and very much approves!

He will ask you to make matching stuff for him and his brothers.

"Do you intend on knitting our wedding trousseau as well?"

You nearly fainted, much to his confusion. Choso wasn't allowed a lot of contact with society even in his first life, but isn't wedding the ultimate purpose of relationships?

After you explain the basics of modern dating to him, he will be quiet for a while and then ask: "Well, I can still ask you to marry me eventually, right?"

Nanami Kento:

He keeps a little sandwich with a smiley face you crocheted him on his desk at all times.

Yes, he beats Gojo up if he even tries to touch it.

"Would you like me to buy you some more blue threads? I've noticed you're running out of them."

Kento always motivates you to finish your projects, however hard they are. He values self-improvement a lot and will want you to chase your own.

Says how proud he is of you when you show him the final result.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 2*

Part 1

Part 3

Y'all IDK what it is about this story but I can just write and write and write. This one ended up being 11 pages [on a google doc] And I only stopped because it's 2:15 am.

I hope you guys like this, but I just want to clarify: This isn't a Barisi fic. I'm sorry, if you're looking for that, just...this isn't it. I mean they do interact and it'll be fun, but they will not be ending up together.

That being said, enjoy this new chapter! I'm debating on how pathetic enamored Sonny is, I don't think I'm gonna go that deep. No worries, people.

As always let me know if you want to be added/deleted off the tag list!! <3

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

-------

"Y/N, I'm so happy for you and Barba. You make the cutest couple," Sonny beamed at you while you were wrapped in Rafael's arms, huge smiles on all of your faces.

"Thank you Sonny, that means so much." You gave him a warm hug.

"Yeah….and you'll make the cutest couple in HELL!" All of a sudden Sonny pushed both you and Rafael off a cliff.

You were falling to your death when you woke up to your professor glaring at you.

"Have a nice nap, Miss Y/N?" He scowled at you.

"Um," You cleared your throat and straightened up at your desk. "Yes sir,"

"Good," he huffed as he headed to the front of the classroom once more. "Maybe now we can continue without your snoring,"

You heard the students around you snicker at his comments as You sunk lower into your desk and waited for class to end. It had been a long train ride home and then a drive to your apartment last night, you hadn't gotten home until around 2 am and had this 8 am class. As soon as the professor dismissed your class you booked it out of the class and out into the parking lot of your community college.

"Ugh, could this day get any--" before you could even finish your thought you got your answer. Your phone beeped with a text from Rafael:

RAFA: Hey killer, how's the bullshit county? 😉

That was the nice thing, then just as you were about to text him back your phone lit up.

SONNY BOI CALLING

"Shit!" You hissed to no one. "How does he know?!"

"Ahem….Heyyy, cuz," You answered it with your best nonchalant voice. That of course sounded totally chalant.

"Hey sunshine," His voice sounded relaxed, thank God.

"What's up?" You tried keeping your tone light as you neared your car.

"Well y'know I was just thinkin, I feel real bad about standing you up last night,"

"Oh, Son it's no big deal really," the fact that he felt guilty about anything made you feel even more guilty.

"No, I know you have a busy schedule and it takes a lot to get into the City and I just blew you off," He kept on with the guilt train.

"You didn't blow me off Son you had work. I get that--" You unlocked your car and got in, starting it so your windows would thaw. And your whole body.

"Well I wanna make it up to you," He cut you off.

"Oh?" your voice fell short. This couldn't be good.

"Yeah, my boss-- well he's not really My boss but Mr. Barba--"

Oh shit. Barba? Was Barba having a party? Why wouldn't He tell you that? Wait why WOULD he tell you that? Stupid. Wait, what was Sonny saying?

".... birthday, so you could be like my date," you caught the tail end of his invite.

"Birthday?" You repeated like a parrot. It was Barba's birthday? Oh god. You were really trying not to focus on how old he was. Don't ask. For the love of god don't say it Sonny.

"Yeah don't worry you don't need to get him anything, I got it covered," Sonny assured you.

Well, that was one way you could figure out just how much your cousin cared about his "idol". The more expensive the gift, the stronger the feelings were. You wondered whether you should ask him now or wait for the surprise. Maybe you should ask now, then his answer should tell you what you'd be getting into.

*So what did you get this 'non boss' of yours?" You asked slyly.

"Oh," now Sonny's voice dropped. "Well I, I don't wanna say,"

Fuck.

Don't panic. Do not panic.

"Oh come on Sonny," you did your best to keep a joking tone. "What am I gonna do, tell him?"

Should you joke about it? Hidden in plain sight, right?

"No I guess not, it's not like you know him,"

Whew.

"It's just kinda embarrassing…."

Oh god.

"O-Oh?" You tried to stay calm. "Why's that? Is it a gag gift?"

Please be a gag gift.

"Actually it's a new briefcase," He replied.

"Oh why is that embarrassing you goof?” You gave him a hard time. What was that in the emotional baggage department? Pun intended.

"I mean, it's more expensive than the one I own," You could hear the shrug in his voice.

Fuck. Don't ask why. Don't ask. But if you don't ask, that will be even more suspicious wouldn't it?

"Oh Son," You asked softly. "Why would you do that?"

"Well the one he has is as old as dirt, I think it's probably the first one he ever bought. I wanted him to look snazzy in court." He replied with a super eager tone.

"That's sweet," you were pounding your steering wheel in frustration. Say it.

"Seems like a lot of work for a mentor though," You closed your eyes mentally killing yourself.

"Yeah well," he laughed uncomfortably.

Say it.

"Sonny…” You didn’t want to do this.

“Yeah?” He was oblivious.

“You know you can always talk to me,”

“Yeah of course,” He assured you.

“About anything,” You scrunched your nose.

“Yeah I know, sunshine,” He half laughed.

“ANYTHING,” You reiterated

There was a long awkward pause.

“...Sonny?” You made sure he hadn’t hung up on you.

“Yeah, I'm here,” He replied softly.

“So?” You waited for the bomb to drop.

So…. He sighed. "I just want him to like me,"

Dammit.

"....Yeah," You nodded, cursing yourself.

"Yeah, its stupid. I'm stupid." He laughed again.

“You're not stupid,” you laid your head on the steering wheel in shame.” I mean the heart wants what it wants right?”

“What?! Oh my god, Y/N,” He scoffed. “I'm not gay,”

“….Sonny it's 2021,” you shook your head. “Sexuality is a spectrum,”

Right well. He laughed defensively. "I'm on the p in the v scale,"

“Ugh, Sonny,” you made a face.

“Sorry sunshine,” He apologized. “I just...why would you even think that?!”

“Uh…” You paused.

Maybe he wasn't fully aware that he had romantic feelings for Rafael. If you started pointing out the signs, he might realize it. But then you'd have a cousin going through gay panic AND then finding out it doesn't matter anyway.

"No reason," You lied.

"I just want him to like him so he'll give me a good recommendation once I graduate Fordham Law,"

"Oh" you smacked your head. "Duh. Right. Of course,"

That was completely legitimate. Maybe you had been misreading this whole thing. Now you just had the whole overprotective Gotti side of Sonny to worry about.

"Well I guess I could spend the weekend in the city," You shrugged as you pulled out of the parking lot.

“Absolutely!” He exclaimed. “My couch is always open,”

Not exactly where you were thinking of sleeping, but you weren't blowing your cover over the phone. Wait, maybe you should. Then he couldn't kill you over the phone. Wait, he's presumably at work right now. You didn't know how closely he worked with Barba, but you figured it would be a hell of a lot easier for Sonny to get to him before you could stop him from killing Rafael.

"Sure sounds good. I'll see you then cuz,” You smiled and hung up the phone.

------

Friday arrived, and you once again found yourself standing outside Forlini's. You debated heavily whether to go in or not, but you told yourself you were going to wait for Sonny outside this time, no more risking a sexy bar rendezvous.

You hadn’t really responded to Rafael’s texts the last few days, and you certainly didn’t tell him you were coming. Maybe you should have told him. You grabbed your phone to text him when you heard a familiar voice behind you:

“Y/N?”

You spun around to see Rafael dressed to the 9’s, smiling at you. He smelled delicious, mixed with the food aroma wafting out of the restaurant and the smell of freshly fallen snow in New York City.

“...Happy Birthday, Counselor,” You bit your lip nervously.

“W-What are you doing here?” He stared at you as if he thought he was dreaming.

“Sonny invited me,” You nervously smiled.

“Seriously?” He laughed.

“Seriously,” You nodded with a laugh as well.

“Did-- did you say anything to him?” He asked you worriedly.

“Are you insane?!” You hit him. “No!”

“So why did he invite you here?” He asked.

“He said it was to make up for ditching me the other night,” You shrugged.

“...The irony,” He smirked.

“Mmm,” You nodded with an amused smile.

“Well this is a very happy birthday indeed,” He smiled, pulling you closer into his coat similar to the night you had met.

“....Just don’t ask which one it is,” He warned you while staring at your lips deviously.

“Deal,” You nodded in agreement before he pulled you into a hungry kiss.

“DUDE!!” You snapped back before his lips were on yours for more than a millisecond. “Are you nuts?! Sonny’s gonna be here any second!”

“It’s my birthday, carino,” He made a pouty face. “Don’t yell at me,”

“Oh lord,” You rolled your eyes. “Alright, man child,”

He was about to go for another sneaky kiss when you both heard a voice from behind you.

“....Sunshine?”

“Oh!” You jumped ten feet away from Rafael when you turned to see Sonny standing there with a huge gift bag, staring slack jawed at the two of you. “Sonny! I um, we--”

“I was teaching your cousin a lesson in New York safety,” Rafael talked over you, his face completely stone. God he was a good liar.

“Excuse me, counselor?” Sonny raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. You just stared in speechlessness.

“She was standing on this curb holding her bag out for any miscreant on these streets to just wrestle away from her, I was just demonstrating how,” He gestured to your open purse.

“Barba I really think this ain’t that kinda neighborhood,” Sonny half laughed.

“...You never know,” Rafael shrugged. “Now let’s all get inside, I’m sure everyone is anxious to start celebrating me,”

You and Sonny both rolled your eyes with smiles; too similar of smiles, you noticed. Thankfully, he did not. You both followed Rafael back to a private room where a bunch of fancy dressed people were mingling with drinks in their hands while two long empty tables stood in the middle of the room. They all stopped and clapped when Rafael walked in.

“Oh, for me?” He feigned surprise and humility.

“Yeah right Barba,” A woman laughed sarcastically. “You’re the one who invited us here,”

“Touche, Rita,” Rafael smirked as he began making the rounds around the table greeting everyone.

“So are we allowed to eat now, I’m starving,” An older man asked.

“And I’ve got a son waiting,” A red headed woman chimed in.

“Right, right,” Rafael nodded as people began to take seats. “Sorry everyone, you know I love to make a dramatic entrance,”

“Oh trust me we know, Barba,” Another man called. “Your catwalks into the courtroom prove that. I think we have a montage of them,”

“Ha Ha,” Rafael rolled his eyes, then turned to you and Sonny.

“Sonny,” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you sit next to me?”

“R-Really, counselor?” You saw Sonny’s eyes light up like Christmas tree lights.

Fuck. You knew he was only asking him so that you would sit next to him as well. And while you loved the idea, you knew how much this was toying with Sonny’s feelings.

“A-Are you sure, about that Mr. Barba?” You gave him a look.

“Absolutely, Miss-- I didn’t catch your name?” He played it so cool.

“Y/N,” You held out your hand as you re-introduced yourself.

“Right, well--” He shook your hand then turned his attention to Sonny who was still beaming like a kid on Christmas. “I don’t know how much Carisi has told you, but he is quite the promising mentee of mine,”

“....R-Really, Rafael?” Sonny blinked in disbelief, causing Rafael’s smile to falter for a moment. Sonny had never called him “Rafael” before, it was always “Barba”. Shit, maybe he had given him too much praise.

“I mean, you know, for a lap dog,” He quickly added with a snarky tone and a smirk.

“Mr. Barba!” You tried not to raise your voice at the birthday boy. “That is my cousin you’re talking ab---”

“No, no it’s fine Y/N-- th-that’s how we work isn’t it, counselor? He just gives me jabs, I know he doesn’t mean it,” Sonny laughed nervously, staring at the floor. He knew not to get too comfortable with Barba, why did he even try it?

“Indeed,” Rafael nodded in agreement. “But, I still request you sit by me-- at least I know you don't poison my food. Which is more than I can say for many of my esteemed ‘guests’,” He eyed the tables of people before him.

“Then why invite them to your party?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“I get that Jersey doesn’t have the social classes of Manhattan, Miss Y/N,” He smirked. “But here, you’ve got to do things to keep up appearances,”

“Oh do you?” You practically growled.

“Yes,” He nodded while a waiter brought him a glass of scotch. “Even if you don’t like someone, if they serve a purpose for you than you do what you must to keep in their good graces,”

“Oh is that so? So you’re only kind to people who can ‘serve’ you?” You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him.

What kind of Danny Zuko bullshit was this?! This was an entirely different Rafael Barba you had met the other night. He was kind, flirty, endearing. This new Barba was snarky and condescending, and you were not amused at all.

“Y/N, chill,” Sonny hissed at you. “This is just how Barba is, he’s harmless,”

“Yeah well you might not mind being his doormat Sonny, but I sure as hell won’t be,” You angrily stomped off.

“Oh my god,” Sonny muttered, wondering if he should run after you or not. “Barba, I am so so sorry about her,”

“It’s fine, Carisi,” He watched you stomping away, trying to hide the guilt in his voice. He was just trying his best to throw Sonny off the trail. He may have overcompensated just a tad.

“I-I should go check on her, She’s just a kid--”

“No, allow me,” Rafael put a hand to Sonny’s chest. “It was my faux paux, I should apologize to her myself. I was being a bit of an ass,”

“Yeah but that’s just you, Barba,” Sonny chuckled, trying not to blush at Rafael’s hand on his chest.

“True, but I forget not everyone knows me as well as you do, Carisi,” And now he was trying to be extra nice to Sonny to get on his good side, while cluelessly egging on his feelings.

“That is very true,” Sonny laughed even more nervously. “I’ll uh, I’ll take a seat and get our drinks ordered,”

“Excellent,” Rafael smiled at him, probably one of five times in the entire time they’d known each other. He gave Sonny one more pat on the back before walking after where you had stomped off to.

He found you right before you hit the front door, his hand catching yours before it could grab the handle. You turned and scoffed at him, your scowl still present after stomping off.

“Oh, come to appease me, counselor? How can I be of service to you?” You snapped.

“Please, Y/N,” He gave you apologetic eyes as he pulled you closer to him. “I’m sorry, I just-- I didn’t want Carisi to think anything was off. He already caught us being handsy, I had to make it look like we disliked each other,” He explained.

“Oh I think you’ve done that above and beyond, jackass,” You huffed. “First I’m too stupid to not get robbed in the city, and then I’m too uncultured to understand ‘high society’ manipulative bullshit?”

“I’m sorry, I may have gone a little over--” He started.

“But that wasn’t even an act, was it?” You interjected angrily.

“What do you mean?” He asked you curiously.

“Your line of you having ‘use’ of a person? I assume that is why you have a room full of powerful people you dislike as opposed to a room full of sycophants?” Yeah, you might just go to community college but you knew big words too.

“I mean, that is how it works--”

“Jesus Christ,” You shook your head with a laugh. “You know I understood for about half a second why my cousin is so infatuated by you, but I am losing that belief real quick,” You turned and started to walk away again.

“Y/N come on,” He grabbed both of your arms this time and pulled you close into him, your noses almost touching.

“Look I’m-- I’m sorry, that I’m---this,” He gestured to himself.

“But that’s just how I have to be in their world,” He gestured back towards the room. “I’m telling you, it’s a room full of sharks. If I show weakness or misstep in decorum, I’m nothing but chum to those people,”

“The guy you met the other night, that’s the real me,” He put a hand to your cheek. “I never get to be that guy, not in public. That’s why I was so attracted to you,” He put his other hand on your waist.

“I don’t have to be ‘Rafael Barba, the snarky ADA with a silver tongue,’ I can just be…’Rafa’,” He gave you an earnestly sad smile.

“I’m sorry,” You blinked in confusion. “I know I’m not helping myself but what exactly is the ‘ADA’?”

Your question brought that familiar amused grin and a laugh. “See, this is what I’m talking about,”

“Oh yeah I know, the ignorant girl you can placate--”

“No,” He put a finger on your lips. “The earnest, normal, gorgeous girl,” He kissed your forehead. “I’m sure if we took a poll in here right now the majority of the room would be with you, not knowing what an ADA is,”

“Which still doesn’t answer the question,” You pointed out.

“I…” He tried to think of a way to explain his role in the Manhattan judicial system. “Well, the DA of the county is like-- the King of Lawyers in that section. Or queen, as my boss is Rita,” He shook his head with a laugh. Oh Rita Calhoun, the stories he could tell about her.

“So, you’re her king?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Eh, I’d say Prince but she’d probably say Jester if she heard this metaphor to be honest with you,”

“Mmm I like that,” You finally let yourself smile at him.

“A Prince?” He grinned.

“The Jester,” You gave him a tongued smile, settling against his chest.

“Well, I’ll gladly take that title if it makes you happy,” He kissed your forehead. “I’d do anything to make you happy right now,”

You looked into his green eyes, they were now their usual sparkling green hue, and you remembered very quickly how you had gotten yourself in this mess in the first place. He really was a sweet, charming, gorgeous guy. And then you remembered those were probably all the reasons Sonny fell for him too.

“Ahem.” You straightened up and stepped out of his grasp. “Well, what would make me happy right now is getting back to my cousin,”

“Oh,” Rafael’s eyes softened into a sad gaze.

“Rafael, I think he really likes you,” You bit your lip with guilt. “And you toying with him just now isn’t helping!”

“Toying with him?” Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion? “I wasn’t toying with--”

“Sit by me, Carisi? You’re important to me, Carisi?” You imitated his questions in a mocking tone.

“I had to ask him that so you would--” He started to explain, but you already knew.

“I know!” You stopped him. “I know, that’s why it’s so fucked!” You put your hands over your face.

“Carino…” Rafael walked over and pulled your hands from your face and held them.

“I’m hurting him every second that I stand here with you, and I--” You bit your lip trying not to cry. “I’m still doing it! I can’t walk away!”

“So don’t,” He squeezed your hands with an even sadder look.

“This is just--” You broke free from his grasp once again and wiped your eyelids. “We need to get back before Sonny comes after you,”

“....So where does this conversation leave us, then?” He asked you cautiously.

“I don’t…” You gazed into his puppy dog emerald eyes. “I don’t know, I don’t want to think about it right now, okay?”

“Fair enough,” He put his hands down in concession. “...But we really need to--”

“Yeah, I know,” You nodded softly as you walked back to the private room, Rafael trailing behind you.

All you could think on the way back was how in God’s name were you going to make it through the rest of the night.

[running2redemption]

Shipping meme - Triforce Trio

Long post is long

1. Who makes the first move and how?

I feel it would be Link who would get them all to realize that this is a delightful poly situation, though I'm uncertain how exactly.

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Zelda. She has so much to live up to and an image to preserve and is constantly aware that she's not good enough - especially when things start going... bad. When she starts getting flustered that means it's time for a cuddle with the boys.

3. Who is the most romantic?

Traditionally romantic, I'd say Zelda. But I'd actually argue Link is the most romantic in his very Link way.

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Ganondorf is pretty bad for that, but so is Link.

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Probably Link, but I don't think Ganondorf or Zelda realize the depths he means it until much later.

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

They are a threesome, but they wouldn't bring anyone else in I don't think (maybe Ghirahim and that's a big maybe).

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

When the world gets back to some semblance of normalcy I imagine they'd fight to get Link in a suit for an hour because they want to go to a nice restaurant, get exhausted trying to convince the Hero to dress nice and just stay in and have dinner as usual.

8. What do they like in bed?

I'll answer this on @running2redacted

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

I'm not sure about Link and Zelda but I do know Ganondorf fell halfway down a snowy mountain (he was fine - the only thing bruised was his ego when he remembered he could fly).

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

A yacht and then they go home - they've had enough of deserted islands thank you very much.

11. What do they hide from one another?

Ganon hides the dark voice in him from the other two until it's almost too late.

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

Ganondorf gets even more protective - much to Link's annoyance.

13. When do they realise they should get together?

"Hey we almost died can we be open about our feelings now?"

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

Ganondorf doesn't get sick, but by Din he will tie either one of them to the bed and feed them his mom's soup recipe until they get better.

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

They rotate movie choices (unless there's a movie in the theatres that any one of them want to see then they make a night of it)

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

The equivalent came and went and they kicked ass and saved the world.

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

Nope, no more time travel for them, thank you.

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

They usually work through things like adults but Ganondorf still has some anger issues and when they get the better of him he apologizes and often compensates with gifts.

19. Where do they go on their first date?

A little cafe that's still somewhat intact and they're waited on by Bokoblins - it's nice, if weird.

20. Where do they go on holiday?

Ganondorf will take them to the desert whenever possible and Zelda has a little spot in Hateno for riding horses.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

Together they can face anything.

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

Ganondorf really isn't the kissing sort, and Link and Zelda probably kissed after a near-death experience.

23. Where is their favourite place to be together?

Home.

24. Where do they first have sex?

I'll answer this on @running2redacted

25. Why do they fight?

Occasionally Zelda can be racist and so can Ganondorf, Link's disagreements are usually lighter in tone.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

They all need to work through their trauma with each other.

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

Ganondorf and Zelda's secretaries are mildly annoyed with the phone tag those two play.

28. Why do they get jealous?

Nope, no jealousy here, no one can really mess with their bond.

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

They're just too good to ever let go of.

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

Their difference play off their similarities in fun ways.