#I'm getting all sweaty and shakey

[rabbitindisguise]

it's late but I'm getting all worked up before bed because I had weird test results and they just didn't do anything!!!!!!!!!! not even a "everything looks normal" just "weird weird okay I'm leaving" sometimes even leaving the room before I could be like "Wait hold up"

frankly I think it's probably wise to ask for someone to go to an appointment with me to quickly get all the referrals I need and tests done that make sense given my symptoms but it's a bit short notice for an agency for patient representatives (who mostly get second opinions, and I'd need to figure out insurance for that) and everyone else has like School or Work and stuff

and like I'm mad enough about this stuff that I can do some self advocacy running off of pure anger but 1) I don't want to sabotage the somewhat decent relationships I have with my doctors and 2) as much as I joke that this is my full time job I'm seriously underqualified and it's stressful as hell when I'm alone in a room with a person who basically has my life in their hands. I was mostly adjusting to the idea that if there was a problem someone would do something, but ever since the seriously concerning bloodwork has come back I haven't heard a peep. It's like they think because I'm up and talking I'm somehow healthy as if I haven't personally done a hip reduction multiple times by myself- because they don't believe it ever happened, though even when presented with test results they don't seem to wake up until you repeatedly shake them into sense

Therapists have a lot of problems and the patient/therapist relationship has the thorny bit where they can have you institutionalized against your will, but doctors can both do that AND cause problems through negligence. I have more self respect from therapists than I ever will from how I get treated by doctors because they are capable of treating people like equals.

And like I can't do my best work when I'm like physically a mess because I acted on the advice they gave me and I can't hold anyone responsible for it without going through the effort I should be saving for repairing my health. People ignore me when I basically present my symptoms on a silver platter and don't do anything when I tell them to do stuff that they assume I don't want. It's infuriating.

It's also really frustrating watching people go through their own health struggles and feeling like I'm helpless and giving the wrong advice. I feel like my answer should always be to fight it every step until you're sure it's fine but money is Such an issue and also going to so many appointments can cause problems that are nebulous and unclear, hospital to hospital, system to system. I have no idea how to correctly go to the doctor or if there even is such a thing! People have been giving me advice but there is no fix, I'm never seeing the same person, I'm shuffled off from one person to the next and they won't even agree that I'm disabled to sign my forms one entire year later and I did all the things I'm supposed to the letter

I'm doing my stool sample tomorrow and calling to schedule more appointments. I'm messaging my neurologist to follow up on cluster headaches and an MRI, talking about my problems with emgality, and asking about why my prescription is currently in limbo. I'm going to call the nurse line to see what I should do about the test results, schedule an appointment with my actual specific PCP, and start typing up the ungodly level of paperwork I need to create for the next appointment and a treatment plan based on my symptoms. And then as a treat next friday I'm going to tell my story to my therapist to explain why I haven't been doing the therapy stuff I want to be doing this week instead of trying to do it and failing -_-

The main things I need to figure out is if 1) one of my prescriptions is causing this 2) if there's any possibility there is actually a bacteria infection 3) what other things I could have symptoms of 4) what intermediate treatment options I have between now and the endoscopy for the Problems

eventually I'm going to have to type up a bunch of treatment guidelines for MCAS and surgery so I'll need to get a consult through my doctor and a bunch of papers through the EDS support groups if I can. Plus all the documentation for my RFC form, citations from my doctors notes, records requests from tufts, my previous hospitals, and get my password recovered for an online portal/records request if I can't.

and in the meantime I'm going to have to sleep. Ugh. I know I procrastinated on laundry but it's like. How am I supposed to do all the things? how is anyone supposed to do all the things??? I see all the work people have to put into being people and it's a wonder any of us are moderately functional. I want to be physically stable enough that I can have good, positive, and stable relationships with the people I care about. And we have plans this weekend ;-; and I still haven't edited the wedding photos OTL

Edit: this is the part where my therapist/housemates tell me I'm not responsible for literally all the things and I should rest and where i remind myself that thinking I have to fix everything is also in and of itself a type of grandiosity *sigh* baby steps

[honeygrahambitch]

In episode one when Will and Hannibal meet for the first time, Hannibal has heart shaped eyes before even interacting with Will. Well obviously Jack Crawford must have described Will to him beforehand in Hannibal's office, right after the camera cuts, after he says "I need you to help me with a psychological profile".

So I imagine Jack must have been like "There's this profiler who empathizes with the psychopaths. He is twisted and unstable and what he does sometimes gets to him and he gets all shakey and sweaty and Alana Bloom thinks I'm breaking him so I really need someone to reassure me I'm not messing him up completely cause you see he is already messed up but he is doing a great job and we are saving lives and..."

What Hannibal heard: There's this profiler who empathizes with the psychopaths 😍😍😍 bla bla twisted bla bla unstable bla bla sweaty bla bla messed up bla bla

[munsonsprincess11111]

Panic attacks.

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: Eddie's having a bad day in school. He's doing everything not to have a panic attack. He doesn't even know what's wrong with him. He's sat at lunch leg bouncing. Hands sweaty. He needs help but the man will never admit it.

Eddie's sat at lunch n he's a hot mess. Shaking. Heavy breathing. He feels like the rooms spinning. Like everything ten times louder. Feels like he could throw up. He needs help. He doesn't even know what's wrong. Will he ask for help? Nope.

"Dude are you sure your OK?" Gareth askes concerned.

Eddie just mumbles and keeps his face in his hands.

You come walking over. Smiling ans joyful.

"OH no the devil in disguise." Jeff jokes as you approach the table.

"Hilarious honestly you should ditch hellfire and join the comedy club your that funny." You joke back. You look down at Eddie and your face goes from happy to concerned. "You OK hunny?" You ask noticing his state.

He nods but other then that ignoring your even stood there. Normally Eddie's hands would be all over you by now talking non stop. You know somethings wrong.

"You sure?" You ask raking your fingers through his mess of curls. As your nails make contact with his head he flinches. You pick up Eddie's tun lunch box and hold your other hand out. "Common." You say to Eddie.

He finally looks up at you confused. "Let's go Common." You walk off. Eddie looks at the rest of hellfire and then gets up and walks off with you. Once you exit the cafeteria his head drops to your shoulder as you walk along taking his hand in your free one.

You both say nothing. Just walk down the halls in silence. Enjoying eachothers presence. However Eddie is still on the verge of his break down. "Where did you park?" You ask quietly "normal spot." HE mumbles back. You nod and walk to where Eddie parks.

He unlocks the side door opening it for you then climbing in after him. You pull the sofa in the back and turn it into the bed. You kay down opening your arms for Eddie. Eddie comes over and lays down next to you. Putting his head on your chest arms around your waist and hooking one leg over your legs.

You wrap your arms around him holding him close to you. Eddie closes his eyes and his breathing starts to slow down. His leg still bouncing slightly. But he's finally calming down.

"What's going on hun?" You ask quietly. You sit still holding the boy. He let's out a shakey breath. He hides his face in the crook of your neck finally speaking.

"Everything is becoming stressful again. I wanna skip lessons but I don't wanna fail. I'm not sleeping until late cause I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. And when I wake up I wake up late so I forget my meds which really isn't helping. By the time I remember I'm in first period. I go home take them and bam another night not sleeping. But if I Dont take em all together then I feel worse. I just need a break. And I feel like I've barely seen you and I really just need you and only you right now. The only time I see you out of school is with someone else present where its a group hang out. And I feel really fucking selfish but I just need something."

He broke. His eyes welled with tears. His breathing uneven. And a shaking mess. You run your hand comfortingly through his hair.

"Babe. You should've told me. We can hang out anytime just us you say the word I'm all yours OK? Don't feel selfish for needing something. How about I come stay at the trailer tonight? We van watch some movies and start fixing your sleep schedule for starters. I'll stroke your head until your asleep. N ill make sure we wake up on time and you take your meds." You whisper stroking his back.

He let's out a relaxed breath. "I don't deserve you. Your fucking perfect thank you love you so much. N yeh I sleep way better when your at mine no Idea why guess its just comfort." HE removes his head from your neck looming at you

"I love you to n ill always be here for you. I'll stay tonight so u get up for school n ill stay the weekend even Sunday night? That OK?" You ask. Eddie nods putting his head on your chest. 10 minutes later you both walk back into school hand in hand. You take Eddie to class and he promises to meet you at your class after school and you part ways.

-next morning-

6:53am. The clock read when Eddie woke up. He looked at laying on your side. Arm still drapped over Eddie. He squeezes you tighter kissing your head. "Babe, gotta wake up sleepy." HE says laying sweet kisses on your face.

You stir awake amiling at Eddie. He kisses your lips and you scrunch your face. You knew full when you had morning breath but Eddie didn't care. "Howd you sleep?" You ask running your hand up his side.

"SO fucking good. Best night sleep in about a month I won't even lie to you." HE says kissing your neck.

"You fell asleep so early 9 o'clock u went." You smiled at Eddie.

"Mmm was the head and back scratches." HE lays next to you hugging you.

You smile at him happy you could help him. Laying your head on his chest. You stayed in that position for another 5 minutes before getting up and dressed for school.

Your making toast for you and Eddie as he walks out slipping his top on giving you a brief glimpse of his happy trail which your eyes went to immediately.

"After school." HE winks kissing you.

"Meds hot shot." You says as the toast pops and you butter it. He opens the cabinet getting out his anxiety and adhd meds popping one of each in his hands.

"DO I need the adhd one I'm so fun without it." Eddie askes smirking popping both pills in his mouth drinking some milk from the cartoon.

"Mmm your fun on it to even better actually." You say passing him his toast.

"Mmm ok" he eats his toast and then you both brush your teeth. He stands behind you keeping one hand on your waist as you brush your teeth. And then off to school and you arrive with 10 minutes to spare.

You both approach the hellfire members and they look shocked to see Eddie. "Morning ladies." Eddie greets himself to the boys. Lighting a cigarette in the process pulling you close to his side inhaling and exhaling the smoke. "Cold isn't it."

"Dude your early to school jeez." Gareth says hugging his girlfriend trying to keep warm.

Eddie looks at you and smiles. "Thanks to y/n made me sleep n get up never knew actually needed to do that." HE said finishing his smoke tossing it on the ground.

Everyone parts ways ad the bell goes but you and Eddie. He walks you to the you both had kissing you. "Do we have to go in." HE smiles into your lips.

"Yep common." You kiss him one more time. "I love you."

"I love you too." ONE last kiss and a sutle ass swat and Eddie and you walk into class and arrives on time to the teachers and everyone else's response.

Yeah his anxiety gets the best of him sometimes. But he knows he will be OK as long as he's got you.

You and Eddie sit in the back wanting to be out rhe way. And Gareth walks in sitting in the middle row. "OH my god he came in on time shock to everyone thought the freak couldn't tell the time the amount of school he's missed." Jason comments seeing Eddie his friends laughing. Eddie gets a devilish grin on face.

"OH my god Jason carver came in 30 seconds thought he'd be able to count the amount of school he's attending or can't you cause your heads to full of me. If that's the case I'm honoured Jason but I have a girlfriend maybe one of your boy toys there will get u there in 23 seconds." Eddie smirks putting his arm around your shoulder. You can't help the smirk that creeps on your face.

Jason looks stunned at Eddie that he actually just said that infront of the class. Gareth still staring at the front then chimes in for Jason.

"He's backkkkkkkkkkkk."

[desswright29]

Come Find Me

Word Count: 4,3k

Contains: ANGST!, Fluff, Cheating, Mind control, Sexual Content (18+), Heartbreak

A/n: Sorry this took so long. I had a lot going on. Whew! But here we are and I hope you guys enjoy the ANGST!

I've seen this place before

A color blinded senseless sight to see

And when it rains, only rains on me

Memories. These memories where the fuck were they coming from? They swirl around her head like a tornado. Constantly causing her variance. The memories all with Rianna, felt so existent, so tangible. It wasn’t a daydream. They were memories, they were there right in her head. But she didn’t remember making them. It was driving her towards insanity. She was always inside her head trying to figure it out and lately she’d seemed aloof. Unaware of things going on around her. What is wrong with me. Something isnt right.

“Shuri!” Shuri jumped at the sound of her name being yelled suddenly snapping back to reality. Where she sat on her thrown, surrounded by the elders and Dora Milaje.

“Are you here with us your highness or is there something more important than the topic we’re discussing?” Shuri looked around the throne room as everyone stared into her. Okoye, Ayo, and Aneeka with concern etched in their faces.  

She cleared her throat, tugging on the jacket of her suit. “I-I apologize. I am not feeling well today. The safety of our country is always a priority for me. The barriers are consistently checked and reinforced. There is no threat to Wakanda’s safety at the moment. Now if you don’t mind I would like to wrap this up. Thank you all for your dedication. This meeting is adjourned.” Shuri stands and everyone follows with a salute. Shuri returns the gesture as she strolls out of the throne room. Okoye, Ayo, and Aneeka close behind. 

“Ikumkazi wam? Is everything ok. You’ve been a bit out of sorts lately.” Aneeka spoke up. This had not been an isolated event. Shuri zoning out had become a consistent thing and it was raising concern. “Uh. Yea of course I’m fine. Just a bit tired lately.” Shuri deflected.

“Well maybe you and you’re wife should slow down with all of your congicals. That would probably save the majority of both of your energy.” Okoye added with a sly smile, eyebrow raised high. Shuri can’t help but smile at the mention of your name. She let’s out a sarcastic “Ah ha. Actually, that might be exactly what I need” She smirked. “I should probably go get fed. That’ll boost my energy. I have to get all of my nourishment.” She winked. And Okoye scrunched her face in disgust. “That is disgusting Shuri! Keep your nuptials to yourself!” It was pointless Shuri was already bouncing down the hall happily, in the direction of her wife.

So what can I say but I'm hoping

The hour will still turn to golden

We will see the sun as it's supposed to be

Shining straight through to you and me

You pace outside of the bathroom door wringing your hands together nervously. Tolu sat on the bench infront of your and Shuri’s bed quietly watching you drive yourself into a nervous break down. “Ok Y/n.” Tolu stands and walks over to you grabbing your hand in hers. “You’re making me dizzy. You have to stop. Come on take a deep breath with me.” You stop staring into Tolu’s eyes, taking a deep shakey breath along with her. “One more” You both repeat. “Okay girl! It’s time. I’m right here with you. Do you want me to check it or would you like to do the honors.”

“Can you do it? I don’t think I can. I’m a wreck right now.” Tolu smiles and walks into the bathroom. Your mind races as you sit on the bed. Heart racing and palms sweaty fidgeting with your fingers. Tolu emerged from the bathroom and your eyes immediately draw to the white stick in her hand. Leaning against the frame of the door she gives you an almost unreadable expression until she couldn’t control the twitch in her lips. “Congratulations Umama. You’re having a babyyyy!!” Tears welled in her eyes a broad smile covering her face. Your eyes grew wide. Your hands mindlessly landing on your tummy, a choked gasp releasing itself from your chest. You stand, hurriedly brushing past Tolu heading to the bathroom counter, staring down at the other two test, both reading pregnant as plain as day. Turning back around to your friend tears quickly began to flow down your face. She rushes to you holding you in her arms. “It’s happening y/n! It’s real girl.” 

Leading you over to the bed, sitting holding eachother as you cry tears of joy. “Lu, I can’t believe it worked! I-I really have a peice of Shuri growing inside of me! And we’re both women! How could I not be in love with this woman she’s fucking brilliant!” You pull away as both of you fall into laughter. Tolu giving a playful roll of her eyes. “She’s alright I guess.” You giggle knowing neither Tolu nor Shuri would ever give eachother that much credit. “We’re going to be mommies Lu! Oh Bast! What if we’re terrible parents!” Tolu scoffs.

“Ah ah! Stop there and be realistic. There are no two people on the planet more qualified than the two of you to be parents. You both have been through hell and fought for this moment. You’re deserving of this and you’re going to enjoy it! No negativity. This is a happy time.” You sniff and nod in agreement. “I love you, girl. You’re the best friend a girl could have.” 

“I love your crazy ass too” You both laugh embracing eachother once again. Pulling away you wipe the stray tears from your face. “Now I just have to figure out a special way to tell her!” You clap happily, excited for this new begining. As if on cue, you both hear the front door of the house open and close and turn to eachother in a panic. “Oh shit! She’s home. She can’t know yet!” You yell in a whisper. Both of you hop from the bed and rush into the bathroom to get the pregnancy tests. Trying to move around eachother getting flustered and whispering in hushed panicked tones “I have to throw them away.” 

“No! She’ll see them in the trash!”

“I’ll wrap them up. Duh!” You grab the tissue and began wrapping the test. “Still you can’t put them in the trash! Give them to me I’ll put them in my purse. Hurry up!” Running back into the room you both plop on the bed Tolu snatching her purse off the night stand and stuffing the test in her purse just in time for Shuri to walk in the room, with you and Lu putting on your best normal poses. She walked through the door to see you with Tolu and her face scrunched in faux disgust. She smacked her teeth and rolled her eyes. “Ew. I knew I smelled you. I thought Y/n was making oxtail.” She said entering the room, shutting the door behind her. Tolu looked over at her mirroring her expression, unamused.

“Funny. Since those Panther senses pick up my scent so well. Why didn’t they pick up on those pits you musty bit-“ You pop her arm before she could get it out.

“Don’t start that shit. Be nice today.” Shuri turns her lip up at Tolu as she walks over to peck you on the lips and Lu rolls her eyes. 

“She started with me first, but Aaaanyway, I was just getting ready to head out.” She stands clutching her purse as though she held the worlds most precious jewels. 

“Best news I’ve got all day.” Shuri smirked at her. “Shuri you can kiss my ass and meow at the hole.” Shuri wrapped an arm around her stomach and brought her hand to her mouth pretending she would vomit. “Yeaaaa get that hairball outta there feline. I’m sure it’s building up from all the pussy you eat around here.” Shuri smiles and licks her lips as she nods. “True, True” Tolu’s face distorted into an amused grimace. “Ugh!”

“Now how the hell did I catch a stray in the middle of y’all beef. I stay waxed.” You butt in.

“It gets a lil fuzzy sometimes babe but I like it! Adds a little texture.” Your mouth drops open and your face contorts as all of you burst into laughter. Tolu wraps an arm around Shuri’s torso in a hug and Shuri kisses the top of her head. “I’m headed out weirdos. Love you guys.” 

“Love you too.” You both call after her as she heads out.

“The two of you are going to be the death of me.” Shuri chuckles slightly as her arms wrap around your waist. You look up into those beautiful dark eyes and you see sadness lingering in the depths. “Baby what’s wrong?” The concern in your voice apparent as you place a hand on her face. “You’ve seemed a tad off lately is my love overwhelmed?” You began placing soft kisses on the line of her chiseled jaw. “Not entirely. I’m happy sweet girl. The happiest I’ve been in a long time. I just .. something feels off. I haven’t felt completely like myself. I don’t know. Maybe, I’m just a little stressed.” 

“What’s going on? What’s got you stressed? Riri isn’t giving you any issues is she because  she’s over due being sent home really.” Shuri smirks. “Anything to bring up getting rid of her before time huh love. She’s due home in a couple of days babe. You don’t stress yourself about that. She’s been straight as an arrow these last few weeks. We’re good mfazi. And I don’t need you stressing out my little seeds.” She bent down speaking to your belly. “Isn’t that right.” She placed a kiss to your tummy and stood back to her full height. “I’m not stressing over that bitch. I just don’t want her here anymore. I don’t care how unproblematic she’s being, I know she wants you.” 

“Ok sthandwa, that maybe so. But I want you. Only you. So none of that matters.” She tilts your head upwards with her pointer finger. And you melt into her touch. 

“You’re right. And we were talking about what was bothering you any way.”

“It doesn’t matter baby, I’m here now.” She kisses your neck. “And I know exactly how you can make me feel much much better.” She gave a bite and suck right underneath your jaw. “Mm. Oh really?” You felt her nod against your neck as she place her hands on your im waist slowly backing you up against a wall. “Mhmm”

“You don’t get enough of me daddy?” You giggle seductively. Pulling back, her eyes lower following every curve of your body. She bends and takes hold of the back of your knees lifting you and pressing you into the wall. “Never” You responded with a hum wrapping your legs around her waist. “You know I love you more than anything right. I promise you I’ll forever give you my all. I’m not perfect but I’ll do my best at it for you. Promise me you won’t ever give up on me my love. That we’ll always be this way no matter what.” Your hands massage the nape of her neck as you bring your foreheads together. “I promise sthandwa.”

I don't understand why you blame me

Just take me as I am, it's the same me

We should be together

So tell me where you go when you know better

“I PrOmiSe SthAnDwA! Oh please! Let’s cut this shit short. Stark activate the atoms send Shuri to the lab.” 

Riri demanded annoyed by your and Shuri’s interaction. “Sure thing kiddo”. Turning off her beads She stood from her bed making her way to make her way to the empty lab. It had been closed for the day to give the lab staff a much needed break. And Riri was going to use that to her advantage. The memories weren’t working. Allowing her to remember their rendezvous hadn’t been enough to make her fall in love with Riri without the use of the atoms. She treated those memories like annoying nats floating around her head. And as soon as Riri would deactivate the atoms she went crawling right back to her precious little wife. Obviously the basis of her experiment worked flawlessly. Her time with Shuri with the atoms had been delicious. Sensual and erotic. But she needed Shuri to love her. She couldn’t possibly control her mind forever without causing damage which is the only reason she didn’t keep the atoms activated at all times. Time was limited. Now was the time to tip the scales in her favor..

Shortly after entering the lab Riri felt strong arms circle her waist, a firm body pressing up against her back as a nose tickled her cheek. “Hello my love.” Riri smiled biting her lip and turning around in Shuri’s arms where she belonged. “Baby!” Her arms circled Shuri’s neck as she brought her down into a kiss. “I was missing you and these lips.” Shuri whispered against her mouth. “Never as much as I’ve missed you.” Shuri shook her head. “I beg to differ.”

“Oh really? Why don’t you show me joy much you’ve missed me then Panther.” A smirk rose on Shuri’s face as she lowered herself back onto Riri’s lips kissing her hungrily, while walking her backwards into one of the lab tables. Her hands went under Ri’s shirt carressing the soft skin of her abdomen sending shivers down her spine. 

“I love the way you touch me Shuri.” Ri whispers as her eyes closed savoring the feeling. “Not as much as I love touching you.” All of a sudden Ri was being lifted onto the lab table. She slid the jacket of Shuri’s suit from her shoulders revealing her bra. Tugging on the center of the bra she released one of Shuri’s breast instantly attaching herself to her nipple. Shuri threw her head back in ecstasy reaching to remove Riri’s shirt. Riri unattached herself from Shuri for a second to allow her to remove her shirt as she unhooked Shuri’s bra. Shuri began unbuttoning Ri’s pants as she lifted allowing Shuri to remove her panties along with her bottoms as Ri reciprocated. They were both now completely naked as Shuri straddled Riri’s thigh. Riri moved closer to the edge of the table lining her core up to Shuri’s thigh and they both began to move against one another. Shuri’s arms were on either side of Ri keeping them both balanced as she panted in Riri’s ear while they both used eachothers thighs to get off. 

“Sss mmm, Ri you feel so good against me.” Shuri moaned her breath tickling Riri’s neck. Riri’s hips bucked harder against Shuri her arms wrapped tightly around Shuri’s neck as she cried out. “Yes! T-Tell me h-how gooood I make you feel. Oh God!”

“S-so good! S-so f-fucking good!” Riri’s eyes fluttered open briefly, before snapping back open to see a blurry figure standing at the entrance of the lab. With a few blinks clearing the tears from her eyes, the figure took form into you. Ooohh this was deliciously perfect!! Riri almost came from sheer excitement! She took the moment to unwrap her right arm from around Shuri’s neck placing her hand at Shuri’s entrance. She slowly added  her ring and pointer fingers inside of her while pressing her palm into her sensitive bud as Shuri rocked harder onto her. “Oh fuck Ri! Just like that! I’m gonna cum!” 

“Yea baby cum for me. I’m gonna cum with you! Say my name when you cum for me. Let everybody know who’s pussy this is.” Ri panted into Shuri’s neck as both of their bodies began to shake both on the edge of their release. Knowing that you were watching as Shuri’s body quaked against hers, and that soon she would have Shuri to herself made Riri’s orgasam come quick and heavy along with Shuri. Her Juices pouring over her hand onto her thigh. Ri opened her eyes looking over Shuri’s shoulder as they both caught their breath, fully prepared for conflict. But you were  gone. What the fuck! Had she imagined it all. 

I love holding you, touching you

'Cause you help me deal with the pains

So how could you turn into

The demons you

Once said that you'd keep away?

“AAAARRRGGH!!” You scream as you remove the large wedding photo from the entrance of your home smashing it into the ground. You walked through your home destroying any semblance of your relationship with Shuri. Tears streaming down your face. Releasing agonizing screams. You’d trusted her. Fell for her lies. She was one hell of an actress. Making you believe she really loved you and the whole time she was fucking that BITCH! So that’s why she wouldn’t send her home! You start to feel faint from the stress. Heading to the nearest wall you balance yourself. Remembering your baby you wrap an arm around your tummy placing your back against the wall sliding to the floor. 

“Why Shuri? Whyyyyyy?” The last why escaping your throat in a shaky whimper. You look around at the damage you’d caused. It reinforced the pain you felt inside. And for the first time ever you no longer wanted to be there. 

“You hungry baby. We should probably get some food after that workout.” Shuri looked at Riri in all her naked glory still sitting on the lab table watching Shuri get dressed. She contemplated deactivating the atoms and sending Shuri back to you to be sure she wasn’t loosing her mind. “You ok Ri baby?” Concern etched itself in Shuri’s face as she walked over to her placing her hands on her naked thighs. Riri placed both hands on Shuri’s cheeks looking her in the eyes. 

“I’m so in love with you Shuri and I’ll do anything for you. You’re the best thing to ever happened to me.” Her eyes began to mist and Shuri captured her lips. 

“Heyyy, Hey beautiful don’t cry. I hate to see you cry.” Her voice soft and comforting. Riri smiled. “They’re happy tears. Because I have a feeling that after today no one will be in our way.”

“No one could ever be in our way. Because I love you.” Ri planted another kiss on Shuri before standing and gathering her clothes to put them back on. Once her clothes were back on she walked over and embraced Shuri.

“Soon that will be true.” She let go and with the press of a button Shuri was back to normal.

“Ms. Williams, why are you still in the lab. Go explore. Or get some rest. Relax for once. I’m going to spend some time with my wife.”

“I was just running in to grab something. I’m headed out now. I hope you and y/n have a wonderful day. I’ll see you later.” With that she walks out of the lab.

I'm in my feelings, I'm tired, I'm bleeding

I'm nothing, I'm choking without you

I become weak from the mountains

I'll scream 'til the morning wraps me back around you

Where the colors of your mind will turn around

And so will you too

Oh, no, no, no, don't let it go

Shuri walked out out of the lab. Heading home with a bounce in her step ready to curl up and relax with her wife. Once she reached the Queens wing her heart dropped as she noticed the commotion. Dora and staff scurried in and out of her home. Her face scrunched in confusion as she watched them remove things from inside. Your things. 

“You can just take that one down to my car.” Tolu walked out giving directions, when she spoted Shuri looking lost. 

“What’s going on Lu? Why are y/n’s things being taken.” Tolu walks up with one arm held out as Shuri proceeds forward “Shuri. I think it’s best you stay out here until she leaves.” Tolu placed a had in the center of Shuri’s chest attempting to push her backwards. 

“Leave? Leave where? Wh-what game are you two playing? Stop.” Shuri’s heart began to race.

“This is not a game Shuri. She’s not talking. I don’t know what you did. But you fucked up.” Shuri looked past Tolu towards the entrance to her home. Quickly she side stepped Tolu and made her way towards the door. 

“STOP! EVERYONE STOP! Put her things down now!” Everyone stopped looking at eachother confused on what to do. Stepping inside the first thing Shuri noticed was the wedding photo in peices on the floor. Her breathing became short and choppy as she looked around her living room. What the fuck was going on? Where were you? She hastily ran into the bedroom just in time to see you walking out of your closet with the last of your bags. 

“Baby what’s going on? What’s happening?” You only stare at her for a second face blank, grief hidden behind your eyes. Diverting your eyes you continue on your way. She steps infront of you grabbing at your bags. “NO! No y/n. Talk to me. W-What did I do?” She stuttered as her eyes began to water. Your eyes settled every where but on her as your lip began to tremble. Shuri’s movements followed the direction of your eyes as she tried getting you to look at her. “Y/n please.” She whispered. Stepping away you head towards the bathroom to grab a few things you’d missed. Shuri fell to her knees crawling after you. “B-baby, talk to me. I can fix it. Whatever it is I can fix it.” She sat on her knees in the doorway of the bathroom. Watching you pack up things. She was confused. Her mind reeling searching for the answer. The memories they were there but there’s no way she did that. No way she would ever betray your trust in that way again. 

It’s wasn’t me. It’s wasn’t me baby. Stay help me!

Shuri could hear herself screaming almost as though she was separate from herself. She shook her head. She started to get frantic as you stepped right past her walking out of the bathroom. She crawled after you again the tears flowing as she tried to catch her breath. Everywhere you went she was right behind you begging for understanding. 

“Please baby please just talk to me. I don’t understand! I’m begging you p-please d-don’t leave me! Everything was just fine! What could I have done!” She hiccuped through her tears. Finally you finished packing and headed towards your bags. Shuri got there before you, knocking over the bags and trying to get them open to take out your belongings. “Stop Shuri.” She starts to open the bag and you grab the handle pulling at the bag. Shuri held tight making the bag rip open clothes flying everywhere as you stumbled backwards. “Fuck Shuri Stop it!! I’m leaving with or without this shit!” You try walking out but Shuri once again was on your trail. She crawled infront of you, wrapping her arms around your lower torso as she buried her face in your stomach. 

I’m lost sthandwa. Please don’t leave me here.

“What did I do baby?! What did I do? Please I-I can’t lose you. I’ll fix it umfazi wam. I’ll fix it. I need you! Don’t do this!” Your body trembled with sobs that you held inside as the dame broke. You hit a button on your beads. 

“Okoye, I need your assistance in leaving. She’s not letting me go.” You choked out. Shuri’s arms tightened around you. “Y/n what is going on?” In seconds Okoye was at the door. “Shuri. I think it’s best you let her go. Just come with me ok.” She walked over squatting next to her. 

“Just talk to me pleaaasssee.” Her jaw trembled as she sobbed into your stomach your shirt soaked in tears. She began to wheeze from lack of air. Her breaths shakey. Okoye and  Aneka grabbed hold of Shuri’s arms trying to release you from her grip. “You have to let her go. You’re hurting her Shuri.” Her grip loosened instantly. “I don’t want to hurt you baby. Just-Just let me fix it.” Okoye lifted Shuri to her feet.  “Come on Shuri. Give her time.”

“No no no! Just tell me what to do! I’ll do it!” Shuri was inconsolable as they carried her out of the house. “Let me go! I just want to know what I did! I just need to know how to fix it.” She began to sound as though she was choking sobs and breaths getting stuck inside her chest. Okoye pressed Shuri against the wall right outside of the door of her home. Grabbing her jaw and squeezing to open her airways she coached Shuri through her cries. “Breathe Shuri! You have to breathe!” Shuri let out a cough an agonizing cry not far behind. Okoye wrapped her in a hug gently placing her head onto her shoulder. Her body became weak with sobs as Okoye held her weight. Tolu walked over placing a comforting hand onto Shuri’s arm. Aneeka standing guard infront of them. “What did I do?” she continued to repeat. 

Finally you were able to walk out. You look in Shuri’s direction. Had you not witnessed what you did in that lab. The sight would’ve torn you to pieces. Her pressed into a wall to keep her stable with Okoye cradling her head like a baby’s. But all you could feel was hatred. Anger. Removing your Kimoyo beads and rings you drop them to the floor with a clang and walked away. Shuri released a grunt that sounded as though she’d been punched in the gut at the sound.

You were gone and she didn’t know why.

Please come find me.

Up on the mountain

Searched through the valley

You hear me calling

Won't you come find me?

Please don't forsake me

All of a sudden

My heart is breaking

I feel it coming

Taglist: @imjusthere2readbruv,@bubbleblowinggirl, @euph0ricx0,@bellaallebbella1, @minionslikeppl, @melanated-queen, @letitiasnyash, @tishlvr, @writtenbymarie, @doramilaj233, @lichuchin, @6-noir, @jackdrawsjunk, @Ippriceisright

[pinkcutiepiee]

Comfort [post Azkaban!Sirius black x reader]

Inspired by this list || masterlist

gender neutral reader

synopsis: since escaping Azkaban, Sirius has been having frequent night terrors

warnings: night terrors / brief mention of sirius having past trauma [no detail into this though]

if you could wish for anything, it would be to stop all the night terrors that have been keeping your beloved awake every night, almost, since escaping azkaban.

This was the 5th time over the past 7 nights he has woken up, trembling and sweaty. Still unable to rest after so long, he begins to lose hope that it'll get better. Even as you hold him, he feels scared, though he feels more grounded now.

He's sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard as you're sat on his lap: his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him; as your arms are around his neck, hands stroking his hair.

"Sshh baby, you're safe now," you'll whisper. Knowing that your words won't fix his issues and trauma, or get rid of his night terrors completely, but you hope that you are able to bring him some sort of comfort in these times.

The feeling of his tear-stained cheeks buried on your chest; combined with his heavy breaths into the fabric of your pyjamas breaks your heart as you hold his trembling body.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You ask. Although you know his answer will likely not change from previous nights when you've asked the same question. When his answer remains the same as that of previous nights; you remain unoffended, understanding why he is unable to share the details of his night terrors. Instead, you continue to hold him close to you.

“I’m here with you. It’s going to be okay. Just follow what I do, okay? Breathe in, breathe out…” you speak softly, feeling him take shakey breaths in and out with you, his sobs slowly dying down until they come to a stop. He remains unmoved in your arms, enjoying the feeling of behind held and comforted by you.

"Come on, let's make you a cup of tea to calm your nerves," you suggest, knowing he will likely not want to attempt to sleep; at least not for a while anyway.

"I'm so sorry, love," he murmers as you sit next to him, passing him his tea as he sits on the couch.

"No, don't be," you insist, kissing his cheek gently.

"I don’t know what I’d do without you," he whispers, feeling defeated that he has to deal with these night terrors, and feeling guilty that they keep you up too.

"You’ll never have to find out," you reply softly, as he looks at you and smiles just as softly as your words; feeling grateful for your peaceful presence.

[transparentbeardmentality]

BKDK drabble - battle reunion

Katsuki sees Izuku across the battlefield. Izuku is already moving, half stumbling and half running as much as his overworn body will allow him to. He's ripped and bloodied, but nothing appears life-threatening. A flooding relief washes over him.

Katsuki is shakey on his feet but resolute, one hand clutching protectively over his heart. He waits.

It's like a dream to see Izuku pushing through the rubble towards him with that look on his face -like getting to him meant everything. Katsuki almost stops breathing at the wonder of it, the thrumming anticipation of having Izuku in front of him.

Though it's happening quickly, time feels like mud. And yet all too soon, he's there.

"Kacchan.." he gasps breathlessly, suddenly stopping just shy of his reach. Izuku reaches his hand out slightly as if to touch him, but then drops it to his side, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Frustrated. Controlling himself. Even after all this.

"Are.. Are you okay?.." he says instead.

Katsuki's eyes water despite himself. He sees everything about Izuku, about *them*, with so much more clarity now. How badly Izuku wants to touch him right now, and how scared he is that he will cross their unspoken boundaries if he does, and lose him. It blows his mind. Makes his feelings twist and writhe erratically between agony and bliss.

So Katsuki crosses the divide, hooking one heavy arm around Izuku's neck and dragging him forward against him. He presses his face down into the warm skin between collarbone and neck, protective arm still in place and awkwardly pressed between them. He still can't find his voice to answer, throat clenching painfully. It's overwhelming. So instead he nods against his neck.

Izuku's shock lasts a half-second before he's pushing his chin against Katsuki's forehead in an embrace, hand delving into sweaty hair to pull him gently in, securing him in place. He curls his other arm around Katsuki's back, shifting and fisting against material, pressing him a little closer whilst trying to hold himself back from harming Katsuki in his enthusiasm. He can't stay still, positioning and repositioning his hand all over Kacchan's back, arm, shoulder.. Checking, re-checking, reassuring himself that Katsuki was okay for now, feeling the intoxicating warmth between them.

Izuku smells like burned ash, blood.. and love. He can feel it washing over him like the afternoon sun in a cloudless summersky.

He feels Izuku still as Katsuki begins to pull back. He doesn't resist as he unwinds his arm from behind his neck to brace his hand there instead, drawing back to look at him. He finds himself lost in the wide green eyes searching his. They are questioning,

Did I overstep? Are we okay? Can I touch you? I'm sorry.

He feels his lips quirk in a shakey half-smile. Whatever he thought he was doing is gone now. He's too rattled to think straight. Internally he laughs a little at himself for how gone he is. It's all too much to even look at Izuku right now.

So he closes his eyes instead, pressing his forehead to Izuku's to give his heart a break from that gaze -only to find the intimacy of this new embrace just as thrilling. It's no reprieve. Damnit.

Still, it seems to have quieted Izuku's concern about touching him. At least Izuku stays, so he stays, and tries to calm himself -it's still just just the dweeb, he reminds himself. Somehow that makes it worse.

Wryly he considers that whatever Izuku has him feeling, can't be good for a recovering heart. (Or maybe it was? What else were hearts made for if not this?)

Rationally, he knows he should probably be making his way to the medics, or calling them in. Fuck.

"We need to get you to recovery girl..." Izuku murmurs, as if reading his thoughts. Forehead still pressed to his.

Katsuki knows that like him, Izuku has his eyes closed as he says it. He feels Izuku bring a trembling hand across his jaw to cup the space below his ear. Katsuki can tell the gesture costs Izuku in already frayed nerves. Though he's trying to hide it, his breath is too quick not to give himself away.

The sweetness of it catches him offguard, and suddenly has him furrowing his eyebrows tightly against the onslaught of feeling. He's an overtensioned wire close to breaking. He breathes in through his nose sharply. It doesn't help. Longing is a painful, unquenchable thing.

Sensing the change, Izuku stills in response. He's worried. Again. Always so damn worried about "Kacchan" blowing up in his face, or leaving him. It's no surprise. He's created that expectaction through countless years of his own bullshit.

Izuku's touch lightens as though he's made his mind to back off immediately. His hand starts to drop from his face, and all Katsuki can think is, "No.. No! Stay!"

His self-control snaps and he's surging forward, unable to stop. Reaching Izuku's warm lips and kissing them again and again, as though he has to, or die. Izuku stumbles backwards half a step and Katsuki just follows. Kissing him desperately, unable to let go or do anything else. He feels possessed.

Somewhere in his mind he worries that Izuku is stunned and unmoving under his insistent mouth. His touch is still too light against him, but he can't bring himself to stop. Not while Izuku's fingers are still delicately resting against his jaw. "Please.", he thinks. "Please.. Izuku..."

Then he hears the most heartrending whimper, the sound of agony and relief against his lips. And then Izuku is moving into action, reclaming lost space, and kissing him back in shared urgency, like his self restraint is just as broken as Katsuki's. He darts a tongue out, meeting Izuku's as he opens his mouth instantly. It sends warmth pooling down his spine. Nothing ever felt better in his whole life than this.

Izuku is crying.

He can feel the wet grip where their skin moves against each other. Taste the salt. He feels everything Izuku is trying to tell him in those kisses. But Izuku needs more than kisses to really believe anything, he knows that. "Izuku." he whsipers between kisses, voice hoarse from battle, emotion.. "I love you."

He hears the inhaled breath through Izuku's wet nose. Feels the smile against his lips. This feels like dying, or flying, he's not sure which. And he never wants it to end.

But he's losing the strength to stand and less oxygen isn't helping, so he breaks the kiss. Pulling away, and grasping Izuku by the hand. Izuku intuitively eases him down with his counterweighted grasp. Katsuki sits gingerly, Izuku taking place beside him and wiping his wet face with his inner-elbow. They're exhausted.

Katauki can't look at him, he needs to calm down. Izuku seems to understand and shuffles closer. Supportive.

He puts his head on Izuku's shoulder, his hand clasped with Izuku's in his lap. Katsuki watches him intertwining their fingers. Even a simple hold like this feels equal parts comforting and electric.

He wishes he could crawl inside Izuku's soul and live there. Izuku rests his head against his. It's definitely mutual.

In the distance they can see a recovery crew coming through the wreckage. Izuku raises his other hand straight in the air to signal them, and Katsuki knows everything is going to be okay. He squeezes the hand in his, and feels Izuku's answering grip.

Better than okay.

..And for fun..

It occurs to Katsuki that the sound of helicopters in the near distance -that he'd somehow filtered out of existence with the all-consuming need of Izuku- are why the recovery crew knows they're here. Which raises the likely possibility that millions of people just saw all *that* between them as a live broadcast.

He smirks. "Whatever", he thinks.

"He's mine. It doesn't get clearer than *that!*"

Katsuki had grown a lot, but he would always be more than a bit too competitive and possessive. He's so in love he doesn't have room left to be embarassed about any of it. And as far as he's concerned, he's just fucking WON at life.

Izuku glances over to him suddenly, as though also realising the same thing about the helicopters.. He takes in Katsuki's smug look.

Katsuki is briefly shaken out of his thoughts of triumph in his concern for Izuku. His ears are scarlet. Shit!..

And then he's beaming at Katsuki almost ferally, lifting their hands and kissing Katsuki's bloodied knuckles. Staring at him in challenge to say anything about it.

He muses that Izuku feeling more secure did not take long once Katsuki's feelings were spelled out for him.. He's also reminded once again, that however cute the package, Izuku is every bit as possessive and competitive as he is in some things.

He raises a cool eyebrow back at Izuku's wolfish grin. And though he won't say it, is delighted.

This is gonna be good.

[gabessquishytum]

hi i just think that dream and destruction should take turns fucking hob and coming in him and then plugging him back up. they start off easily enough -- neither of them ever opts for a cock hob would call average, but he likes it that way, and neither of them have gone for anything inhumanly large. and when they come in him the volume's enough that hob might normally joke about his partner having been pent up but, again, nothing he would have questioned from anyone else.

but the day goes on, with hob being bent over his desk in his office or dragged into empty rooms between classes, and as he's fucked over and over, well. eventually the plug needs to be reshaped a bit, doesn't it. a little bigger, to adjust for how much his hole's loosened up. and then dream and destruction have to make their cocks a little bigger so he's still nice and tight around them. and then it starts to turn into a friendly competition.

they're each a little bigger, every time he's fucked again. the plug keeps getting bigger by increments. and they start coming more and more each time, until hob goes from feeling wet to feeling full. he can feel himself swell a little more with each load.

he has office hours after classes -- with only brief visits from students, thankfully, because his partners are taking full advantage of the fact that he's alone in a room with a locking door -- and then he winds up staying to get a bit of marking done. and when he's done, he stays at his desk until dream comes by for his next turn. because after destruction's last round... hob had made the mistake of wearing one of his more fitted button-downs that day, and the buttons are barely holding on over the swell of his belly. another load and he thinks they're going to give and he can't face public transportation like this, and he's so sweet begging dream to magic him home that dream doesn't even bother teasing him about it. just whisks him off back to his flat, where destruction's already lounging in hob's bed. and hob gets to lay back, cradled against destruction's chest, as dream fucks him again and comes, and comes, and comes. until the buttons of hob's shirt finally give way.

-🐈‍⬛

I'm literally squirming with happiness as I read this because ohhh it hits so many of my kinks, doesn't it <3

I love the thought of poor Hob squirming in his chair as he feels fuller and heavier as the day goes on. He's trying so hard to be a good boy and also to like. Do a decent day's work, lol. Nobody is quite brave enough to comment on his increasingly debauched state, or the fact that his shirt is clearly struggling - the poor guy is obviously going through some serious bloating issues, it would just be mean to bring it up.

But Hob knows that people can see how sweaty he is, how his cheeks a permanently red. There's definitely a suspicious white stain on the back of his trousers that he doesn't know how he could ever explain. Overall, he's just fucked out and shakey and so so horny. He can't stop putting his hands on his belly and pressing down, to feel the pressure against the plug in his hole and the way all that thick liquid inside him sloshes around.

He’s totally blaming Destruction for the whole thing. He’s the nicest guy Hob has ever met but his competitive streak is MASSIVE. If Dream goes big, Destruction has to go bigger. If Dream cums a lot, Destruction has to cum more. And Dream is also not going to let his little brother outdo him, so… poor Hob is in for a rough time. And yes, he loves it unashamedly. He’s mentally measuring the girth of their cocks and delighting in the way each time he’s fucked they feel bigger and thicker. He’s definitely encouraging them by moaning and spreading his cheeks, claiming that he can take more and more. He’s not going to deny that he loves being their good little cumdump, he just genuinely isn’t sure if he can move by the end of the day.

Even Destruction’s massive hand isn’t quite enough to cradle the entire bulge of his belly. Hob is trembling between his two lovers as he’s filled with even more cum. He’s whining and begging and he genuinely isn’t sure if he’s begging for more or for them to stop. Destruction just hushes him and rubs over his tummy, saying that he’s such a good little cream puff, can’t he take a little more? Dream rolls his eyes over the nickname but apparently Hob is into it because he clamps his walls down hard on Dream’s cock and coaxes out another load of cum.

Poor Hob really doesn’t know the meaning of the words “too much”. It’s fortunate that he has two lovers to coo over him and rub his belly until he manages to drift off to sleep. If he dreams of being kept so round and well fucked forever….. well, he can’t help it! It just feels so good!

[sucktacular]

Cw health scare, passing out, food mention, weed + being high, mention of blood work/needles

Had a yucky time last night that was very scary and wanna vent about it

and honestly kinda hope maybe someone that has low blood sugar moments or panic attacks or whatever the fuck could give me some insight if you're comfy doing so!!

Other wise just ignore this post :3 I'm okay now! But obv will get it looked at, prommy.

Also cw disordered eating... I don't mean to do it for any particular reasons I'm just very bad at remembering to eat, eating enough, and having too low energy to make anything lately. I got fresh groceries yesterday night tho so I'll be back to eating right for a bit.

So I uh nearly passed out at 3am alone in my kitchen trying to make a sandwich and I'm kinda pissed that my body is shitting out on me and now I gotta go to the human mechanic and get my stuff looked over cuz uh... Not normal happenings

I got up after laying down in bed for a while trying to sleep but got hungry and I was a little zooted too to be fair. Collected myself. Got all dressed to leave my room and was totally fine. If it was from standing up too fast it should have definitely hit me by that point but I was fine.

Went down and took all the things out of the fridge I needed for a sandwich. Slow and meticulous , not too fast cuz I was stoned and like to take my time to be quiet. Opened the bread, got a plate, opened the mayo, mayo'd my bread, then I went to open the deli chicken and started greying out and getting really light headed and weak and shakey and cold. So I waited a moment and it kept getting worse so I sat down and propped myself in the corner of my cabinets to try and help. Drank my chocolate milk and tried to wait it out. I've had low blood sugar act like that before- cold, shakey, grey vision, weak, etc - cuz I've kind of always been really bad at making sure I eat meals and last night i had just been eating chips, crackers, and chocolate pretzels all night. Snjcjsbjdks. I've been snackless for a few days so I NEEDED snack overload.

Anyway it kept getting worse over the minute or two to the point my vision was like white and black tv static with tunnel vision. my head felt super pressurized and I couldn't hear? I've had tinnitus since I was a tiny child but it really felt like those movies when everything is muffled and all you can hear is a very tiny faint high pitch ring. I could barely hear my tinnitus which was ... Deafeningly silent and that's WEIRD. I've never heard... Nothing? So that was scary. My whole body felt sweaty and hot and I just didn't know really what to do.

I think it was low blood sugar but + weed made me have a panic attack? Maybe? Or really bad low blood sugar. Because I HAVE been having light headed episodes and feeling weak lately... Which I chocked up to vitamin deficiencies (B12, D, or iron are problems of the past so I started taking those every day for the past week or so.)

Kind of super mad doctor I saw last week insisted I don't need blood work and to just take my new meds, cuz there's definitely something going on here and while blood work probably wouldn't have stopped last night's episode from happening, at the very least I could be a step closer today than i am. :(

Uhm... Yeah anyway it was really scary and I was on the floor in the kitchen with just Frankie watching me for a hot maybe 2-5minutes... Hard to tell how long. Not a super long time but more than just like 1-2 minutes. Felt better. Tried to get up and finish sandwich making. Got grey and weak again. Sat down some more. EVENTUALLY my vision and hearing went back to normal. Finished my sandwich weakly and packed the stuff away sloppily and had to turn the hallway light on cuz I couldn't see in the dark at all. Went to my bed and ate my sandwich and still felt fucked but eventually went right back to normal.

I do still feel airy headed and not totally alert but that's been kinda how it's been this past few weeks.

So uh... Mmm. Don't like that at all. Phone on me all the time now. Doctor visit again soon for this issue specifically. Partner suggested it sounded like a panic attack or when they get a vasovagal response to needles and nearly pass out. I definitely got scared and panicked cuz it was awful and scary and felt like I was dying. I did some 5seconds in 5 seconds out breathing exercises and it helped quite a bit to calm and focus me in the moment. Which was neat! They ain't lying about those exercises even if you don't know what you're doing. Focus on the counting and the breathing in and out softly.

Uhm.... So yeah if anyone actually genuinely has a comment or experience with that I'd love to hear. Otherwise I'm okay so far today and keeping an eye on it...

Problem also is I don't... Well, I have agoraphobia basically and it's very hard for me to go to a doctor without help from a friend or my partner and I can't figure out any online telehealth things in Ontario that don't cost money or aren't just for prescription renewals so uh not sure what to really do. I know I need to get it looked into but my GOD you know how fear will make you not care for yourself? Gestures. I'm trying so hard not to jump to the conclusion that it might be pre diabetes because my family has no history thankfully but the signs arent looking good..

[eevylynn]

Vasovagal syncope is so frustrating

I just got routine blood work done. I'm used to this; I do it every year bc medication, and I had 2 pregnancies cause gestational diabetes. Bloodwork is not new for me.

My husband drives me because I canNOT drive afterwards. I tell them I have to lie down. I prick my opposite thumb with my index finger as the needle is going in to confuse my brain signals. While the blood is being drawn, I do my lamaze breathing to keep my heart rate down and ensure that oxygen reaches my brain.

I've got this shit down

VVS still got me. My husband had to come in and walk me to the car because even after 5 minutes, I couldn't even sit up without getting dizzy.

That 2 minute car ride home was so miserable thanks to my VVS. I was weak and shakey. I was hungry; I had to poop. I was light headed, sweaty and hot, cold and shake. All the things!!

It was like when you get in the car and every single warning light is on.

My body gets its panic signals so mixed up that it basically just sets off all of the alarms to let me know that something isn't right, and I need to do something about it.

Fuck VVS

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for ruining my boss's dinner party

Alright, so I will start this story out with a couple of things. When I (55M/F/?) was a kid I was abducted by aliens, causing my life to really spiral outwards for a while. Due to this, I have a lot of discomfort around bugs. I also age weirdly and look much younger (roughly in the 28-30 range) than I actually am. It also left me with a strange apperance. Most noticeably for this story, I have really sharp teeth along side two tusks. I'm real weird lookin. Some stuff had being going on in my life which I won't really get into, but it all you need to know is I recently moved to London from Texas and an old curse had re-enterd my life causing my mental health to take a sharp nose dive.

On the day of this event, I was having a really rough go of it. The day before, I'd narrowly had a full-blown, anxious breakdown in the dressing room when one of my coworkers had taken me out to buy something nice for me to wear. Due to 6 just grabbed the first thing she picked out. It was very tight, the sweatervest especially. I spent the whole day dreading this dinner party. It was a meeting to make sure the sector of the government I help run stays funded. I don't know why I was picked for this. The guy I work with is much better suited. He's a bit dry and not a big talker, but he sure is efficient. I have autism so I do have a lot of struggle with social settings. So yeah, a large chunk of our funding resting on my shoulders. Awesome.

Anyways, the night arrives. I get myself ready. Take out all my piercings, gel my hair up, and put on the dreaded outfit. The feeling of the sweatervest made my skin crawl. It was far too tight around the chest and neck, so my breathing was slightly constricted. I didn't have anything else to wear, so I stuck with it.

Cut to the dinner party, I swallowed every bit of dread and discomfort I felt and forced myself to be sociable. It was all going well I thought to myself. Until the actual dinner part happened.

We moved from my boss's front room into the dining room where I found myself surrounded, almost wall to wall with pinned insects. I felt my body begin to do that thing where you get sweaty and shakey, and your breathing gets weird. But I forced myself to sit down.

Throughout the meal, I could feel my outfit slowly pressing in on me, strangling me. I started to tug at my collar. I started shaking so bad I couldn't think straight. Coworkers somewhat hostility inquired about my situation. I responded with "oh its just really warm in here."

The helusinatons started around when my boss began to ask me a few questions about my work that I answered quickly. I began to notice the pinned bugs twitching slightly. Then the room started started to spin slightly. The tightness of my collar grew, and I started to claw at it. The pinned bugs started to break from their glass enclosures swarming the room. I jumped up from my seat, knocking my wine glass onto the table, staining the white table cloth. I saw the bugs swam around me. None of my coworkers were reacting to this. So I started to ask if they could see them too. Asking turned into begging. My boss told me to sit down. I watched as insects began to crawl across the table, and no one was reacting. I saw one crawl onto my plate, which I panicked and threw against against a wall. It hit a glass case of insects. Shattering both. Coworkers looked at me. I saw them begin to change and morph and begin to rot. They whispered to each other about everything I'd ever done, not taking their eyes off me. The woman sitting next to me, the one who had taken me shopping, quietly asked if I truly was alright. I looked at her, and she was decomposing and becoming something in human. I started to yell at her that none of this was real, she didn't have to talk the way she did. I knee that she didn't have to do the accent when I wasn't around so why was she pretending. Why was anyone pretending to be human here. Then I turned to the rest of the table and screamed that I could hear them talking about me. And I just continued screaming.

My boss came over and sternly told me I needed to leave. She was crawling with insects and had grown sharp claws. She put her hand on my shoulder, and before she could say anything else I bit her. Hard. I heard her make a pained noise. After which I ran, I ran as fast as I could. The world started spinning, and the night only got worse from there.

I won't bore you with the details, but it was the worst breakdown I've ever had. I tried to go into work the following Monday only to find I'd be expectedly fired and she had taken out a restraining order on me. Thankfully, my coworker (who Thankfully was not at the dinner party) was able to talk our boss out of shutting down our department but just barely. But the dinner party was a complete and utter disaster.

So. I need your help. AITA?

[ventura-starlight]

𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓼 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝓰𝓮𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓮 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓵𝓮𝔂

so school kinda decided to just come and whoop my ass at the least expected moment :') I'm so sorry that I didn't post as much as I said I would but I hope that this makes up for it. have a happy valentines day to my lovely little angels <333

key: lyrics are italicized and small!

song for the fic: love changes everything from aspects of love (this is my attempt at a song fic so this is that song)

warnings: none [cursing maybe]

*+.-°><°-.+*

love, love changes everthing

hands and faces, earth and sky

the moment he saw you he knew. something in his heart just lit up with a small flame. a flame that never seemed to diminish.

little did he know your heart lit with the same flame at the sight of him.

love, love changes everything

how you live and how you die

george changed a lot when you came into his life. he wanted to be a better man for you. though he honestly never understood why exactly.

you two were simply classmates, having little interaction with each other. shy glances and clarification on assignments was the extent of the conversations you shared with one another.

love can make the summer fly

or a night seem like a lifetime

yes, love, love changes everything

now I tremble at your name

his hands were shakey and sweaty. holding a small letter and a box of candy, planning to ask you to be his valentine.

george normally was a confident man, cracking jokes and pulling pranks without even a stutter, but you? you made him weak, his legs becoming like goo.

"Bye Bye Y/N! good luck" said one of your friends with a light laugh. The simple mention of your name made him feel more nervous than he thought he could.

finally mustering up the courage to go up to you he was shocked to find you with a letter and flowers in your hands.

george's heart dropped

had someone else asked you to be their valentine? what was he to do? what if you asked him-

his thoughts were cut off with your voice piercing through his ears.

"Hello George, I uhm got you these" the items in your hands being pushed towards him as you turned away, a light warmth spreading on your cheeks, "I was wondering if you wanted to be my Valentine if you were interested of c-course but if you arent-"

voices were silenced as George pressed a light kiss to your forehead, gently taking the gifts from your hands and pushing the ones he was holding into your hands. smiling against the crown of your head you only muttered out a,

"so is that a yes?"

nothing in the world will ever be the same

*+.-°><°-.+*

love, love changes everything

days are longer, words mean more

stolen kisses and giggles filled your days with George. love confessions and whispered secrets filled your ears and your heart with more love than you could've imagined from another human.

love, love changes everything

pain is deeper than before

george found someone he could hold when he cried and you found someone to help you when things get rough. fights were rare but when they happened they often hurt more than thought possible.

you were clutching onto your pillow as tears streamed down your face.

you didn't want to loose george.

you couldn't loose george.

love will turn your world around

and that love will last forever

yes, love, love changes everything

brings you glory brings you shame

nothing in this world will ever be the same

you clung onto each other promising to not fight like that again.

you knew that you may fight again but you knew that you would be okay. George was a stubborn lover and wouldn't give you up without a fight.

off into the world we go

planning futures, shaping years

years pass filled with love and happiness. vows being passed between lovers, promising a future filled with laughter and joy.

love bursts in and suddenly

all our wisdom disappears

The home that Y/N and George Weasley built was one that you would feel warm in. filled with happiness you two spent days filled with pillow fights and forts. cookies and movie nights were mandatory.

love makes fools of everyone

all the rules we make are broken

yes, love, love changes everything

live or perish in its flame

You two were lovers at a young age. relationships like this don't always last. you may not say it out loud, george may not even realize it, you two were meant to be.

love will never, never let you

be the same

palms were sweaty as George pressed a soft kiss to your forehead "Y/N?"

"Yes George?" you asked, voice still lulling your eyelids closed

"Will you be my valentine?" George quietly asked

"George, honey, we're married."

He only stared at you, "so is that a yes?"

love will never, never let you be the same

love changes everything and everyone

but love never changes

no matter how long you've loved

love will never change

*+.-°><°-.+*

@70swonderpoisonstark ​ @peterandtheparkers ​ @brianmydear ​ @casuallywriting ​ @fantasticnewtimagines ​ @silversslytherin @sugawaraaaa @ghullehh ​ @living-through-the-fictional ​ @fire-in-her-veinz ​ @regalillegal ​ @a-hopeless-fan ​

[retro-radio]

Valentines day special

Special night

Enzo fiddled nervously with the bundle of roses in his sweaty hands. He breathed in slowly and let out along shakey breath. "Come on Enzo it isn't that hard. You just need to ask him to dinner and then the carnival and then admit your feelings" he said to himself. He was extremely nervous he had a crush on Nicky for years now but never had the guts to say anything this could be all smooth sailing. Alas, nope sadly for Enzo he had some competition. Aaron Peterson who lived just across the street and also had a huge crush on Nicky making him and Enzo enemies well more like frenemies as thy were still friends but were in contest with each other.

Enzo looked over his notes again rehearsing quietly to himself. He probably looked crazy standing outside Nicky's door not doing or saying anything. He reached for the knocker but hesitated he didn't know what to say now! Enzo groaned softly and lent his head against the soft blue wood of the Roth's home before he could reach for the knocker again he heard a curt cough from behind him and someone say in a gruff voice "hello...Enzo". They climbed up the stairs and placed a hand on his shoulder creasing the pristine white shirt with their hand "having trouble?" They asked voice mocking. Enzo growled out "no...what are you doing here Aaron?" He asked he turned around and was met with a smug looking Aaron Peterson who was dressed in a tartan shirt, blue jeans and green converse while Enzo was dressed in a white button up shirt, black tie and jeans as well as his best shoes he looked very fancy.

Aaron held a bundle of blue lilies he also held a small red box with a blue ribbon. "What are you here for?" Aaron asked his tone was suspicious like he though Enzo was actually dumb enough to ask out his future boyfriend but he wasn't about to sound possessive. Enzo ran his hand through his perfect slicked back hair and straightened his tie. "Well if you want me to leave I ain't so we will have to see who gets to the knocker first!" And with that he reached for the door knocker but Aaron was faster he grabbed Enzo's foot and pulled him down the stairs dragging him across the wood. He stormed in front hand reached out, but Enzo grabbed his arm and spun him around glasses dangling of one ear. This continued until Enzo was laying upside down in the petunia bush next to the porch and Aaron fixing his shirt collar before knocking on the wood smirking at Enzo the entire time.

It didn't take long until the door was thrown open by Nicky who looked at Aaron surprised. "Ohh hello Aaron I didn't expect you here". His voice was smooth like honey and extra sweet it made the butterflies in Enzo stomach ache even more. "Hello Enzo are you ok? Do I need to drag you out?" he asked voice delicate making Aaron blush and scowl at the same time having the attention dragged away from him. Enzo quickly got out from the bush straightening his shirt and tie before saying, his voice cracking. "Yes I'm fine" he handed Nicky the roses blushing. "I got you these by the way" he pulled a flower from his hair his eye twitching from the pollen. Nicky took the flowers delicately like they were made of porcelain and stuck together with paste "Oh Enzo they are beautiful" Enzo looked at Aaron with a smirk of his own enjoying the pissed off look he got in return. "I'm glad you like them I was thinking we could go to the carnival and then watch a movie?" He asked eyes wide and hopeful.

Aaron couldn't take it any more he quickly said in a loud voice "well I was going to take Nicky to the exact same carnival!" Enzo stood shocked 'this cannot be happening' he said to himself. Aaron handed Nicky the present and flowers and said "Put the flowers in some water and then we can do something nice". His voice was smooth despite the nasty glares he received from Enzo. Nicky nodded and disappeared into the house returning moments later with his jacket "Well I've had a wonderful idea how about we all go to the carnival together!" Enzo and Aaron looked at each other in pure horror but said through the tightest fakest smile "Off course we would love to".

Coming to the carnival had actually been a good idea. Enzo got to show off how strong he was with the 'Whack It' game winning Nicky a stuffed alien. While Aaron had won him a stuffed tiger for him at the 'toss it' game, the owner making a remark whilst flicking his head towards Enzo. "Got some competition?" he asked laughing whilst Aaron blushed furiously before scoring a toss on the glass cola bottle strutting back to Enzo and Nicky with the significantly larger prize. Making Enzo cross his arms and mumble under his breath 'Show off' or something like that whilst Nicky was happily cuddling Aarons arm. Enzo linking his own with Nicky's. After they all got some soda Aaron 'accidentally' spilt his all over Enzo who gasped and went to find some napkins whilst Aaron stayed with Nicky saying that. "I will be back" Enzo grumbled out and swore under his breath.

After returning home all three sat down on Nicky's bed Aaron handed him the wrapped box what revealed a 'ghost hunting map'. To which Nicky squealed in delight and hugged Aaron while Enzo sat in a spare t-shirt that Nicky had leant him. He stood up and walked towards the door. 'Well I guess Aaron won' he was about to leave when Nicky grabbed him from behind and hugged him tightly. "Thank You both of you I had the best day ever despite the fact you both fought like children". Both Enzo and Aaron blushed "sorry we were both jealous" Nicky smiled but that smile turned to a smirk he climbed back on the bed and started to unbutton his shirt Aaron and Enzo both blushing. He finally undid the last button and opened his shirt revealing his bare chest. "Before you both go don't you want your Valentine gift?~" Enzo and Aaron looked at each other one thought on their mind 'maybe sharing wasn't such a bad idea".

[mercurymetals]

So like, the song Bonafied Lovin by Chromeo? I'm pretty sure it's just a typical horny "I'm better than your man" song, but I feel like depending on how you write with it it could make for a good jealous/possessive yandere song fic. Thoughts?

here’s the song!

and anon, this is 1000% a prosciutto song. those lyrics couldn’t be more prosciutto if they TRIED i mean look at this:

“Let me tell you that i saw your boyfriend walking down the street //He was standing all shakey, hands all sweaty and he could hardly speak //I might as well take a minute or two to talk about the game //You want a boy like him and a man like me, and that’s just not the same.” 

“Oh girl, wouldn’t that feel nice? //Have dinner with the candlelight //and really when it gets down to it, pick a man that’s down to fight.”

and perhaps most criminally of all

“I’ll give you bonafied lovin’ //The type that makes me feel old”

as you can see, this song is clearly about prosciutto trying to steal you from ya mans and take you out for a classy dinner date and honestly… who in their right mind would say no to that?? no need to yan you, surely you’ll choose the wise option here...

[vexkader]

Solis Part 3

  I gasped, shooting up from the cold floor. My fur feeling sweaty and sticky. Wiping brow I was under the silver tree. Looking up to its purple leaves. The dream or vision, whatever it was. It was on Mars, this I knew for sure. 

  Looking back in front of me, the mysterious orb was gone now. The pedestal which it sat now empty. Shaking my head, I got up to my paws. Making my way back out of the cave, taking one last glance at the foreign structure. 

  The cave remained unchanged, only this time I followed the lava flow up. The dry heat turning back into the muggy soup like air of the jungle. 

  Catching my breath, letting out a few huffs at the base of the cave. I gazed into the jungle and sky. The yellow haze of sunset, casting steam off the tree tops. The forest floor being defined with a slight mist as everything began to cool. 

  "Ah shite!" I curse myself, with night falling is the worst time to be out here. Slashers ruled this time, their beady eyes peering through darkness as if it was nothing. 

  Dashing through the underbrush, leaves whipping at my face. I tried to raise BB, but communications through the thick jungle were hazy at best. As I got nothing but a load of static from the ship. 

  "Shite.. shite shite!" I stopped for a breather, looking around the jungle. I knew my way back for now, but my paws were sore from the sharp rocks. My chest raised and fell, my pupils wide and looking for danger. 

  My paw hovered above my gun, ready to snatch it from its holster at a moments notice.  As the jungle screamed and cawed its way to life at night, I still kept an eye out for this life.

  I still caught my breath, my comms came back in. BB doing his best to make contact with me. 

  "Vex?" His monotone voice came through. "What did you find?" 

  "We'll talk about it later, I'll reach the ship first then I'll go over it. Let me get out of this damn jungle first."

  "I see you're stalled, what is it?" 

  I didn't answer him, my ears darting to the back over a noise I heard. Something rustling in the bushes behind me. 

  "Vex?"

  "I'll get back to you."

  Turning around with my revolver drawn, the polymer and metal gleaming from the tiny shards of red sun poking through. I took a steady breath, stepping forward just once. Trying to draw out whatever creature made that noise. 

  Sure enough it revealed its ugly head. Shiny black scales dawned a thin dinosaur like head, two bright, tiny, crests protruded from its snout and chin. Facing me were four beady eyes, a sickly pale yellow stared right back at me. Sharp needle fangs sent shivers down my spine, as it stepped forward with three razor sharp claws on it hands. A dotted purple strip ran from its muzzle, eyes, back, and tail against the dark black scales. All leading up to why they're called Slashers. A protrusion of bone, like a blade, came from the tip of the tail. 

  If I wasnt careful it could go right through my armor, ignoring the shielding on it! Stepping back now, I took in the size of this animal. It wasnt large by any means, adult slashers could grow as tall as a man. This one was maybe half that, but that didn't matter as single one this size was well enough equipped to kill. 

 Out of instinct I shot at the creature. A bullet ripping through the air near its feet, sending bits of dust flying up and up! It screamed and hissed, mock charging me and waving its tail. The two of us circled, my own teeth baring out of aggression and partly fear. 

  With a wiggle of its rear, it went to leap on top of me! Quickly I raised an arm and tossed it to the side, letting another shot rip as I tried to hit it! Its claws leaving their mark in my armor. 

  Landing with a grunt, it quickly got back to its feet. Hissing and snarling, saliva dripping from its fanged jaw. The Slasher was furious with me, its prey, wanting nothing more to stab me and gut me. Clamp its jaws on my throat and feast on my innards. All things considered I preferred to keep my insides, INSIDE of me. 

  Though one mistake almost gave it its wish. Paying too close attention to its claws and maw, I soon felt the sharp sting of its tail pushing itself into a weak point in my armor, my arm being set a fire as muscle was cut. Letting out a yell I pushed the muzzle of my gun forward, letting out a few desperate shots hoping one would land. 

  Bellowing and yelping, it was unclear if I hit it as it scampered off into the jungle. Even if I did, it knew I was wounded as well. Smelling the blood that seeped from my arm, sticking to my fur. Now it was my time to run, as I stuck my gun back into its holster I took off. Grabbing my arm from the pain. 

  Dashing through the dense jungle, I started to hear calls behind me. The Slasher had run back to its pack, and they were hot on my trail. Calling and hooting like something from a dinosaur movie, fear struck my heart. I couldn't fight them all, no way I could, one small one nearly took me out. If it was just a bit higher.. no, do not think like that. Just run. 

  "BB!" I called into the comms desperately, pushing away palms and branches. Knowing I was close to the ship. 

  "Your heart rate is elevated, what did you piss off now?" 

  "Slashers! Get the ship ready now!" I yell out again, the clearing in which I landed getting closer. Pain in my arm dulling my mind as blood still seeped under my armor and in the tear.

  "You brilliant genius! What made you think fighting Slashers was a good idea!"

  "Now is not the bloody time!" 

  Dashing and almost tripping into the clearing, blades of grass danced back and forth from the power of the ship. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, leaping to the deck and climbing aboard. Looking behind me, I could see then running after me. Bounding over the field, wanting revenge. Quickly I closed the hatch and watched them come for me. Smiling just a bit knowing they wouldn't feast on me tonight. 

  "Maybe next time you scaley bastards." I said surprisingly calmly, panting and huffing as I was soon reminded of the pain once more. 

  "It appears one got you." BB chimes in now, as I tilt my head and smirk. "Just a bit, didn't even feel it at first. Thing got so scared it ran off after that." 

  "Hmph, I suppose it was full-grown too."

  "Damn right!" Slinking my way back up inside the main parts of the ship. I stripped off my armor to show blood and sweat soaked clothing. Tossing everything aside to be cleaned and washed, far enough away for me to not notice the smell.

  Heading to the bathroom, I look behind the mirror for my first aid kit. There in a bright red box, with a large cross plastered on the front of it. Using my thumbs I pop the case open with a click, all kinds of bandages, cleaners, and stitching before me. Picking up an alcohol pad, I tear open the casing and toss it into the garbage beside me. 

  Sitting down on the toilet, I begin to wipe at the wound. Wincing as the pain seared through, blood being pushed aside and out of my fur. Revealing a gross gash into my arm, the blood pretty much stopping at this point waiting to be cleaned. Which I did, cleaning and removing the blood, taking my time to carefully not re-open the wound. 

  Once the red was gone and my greyish blue fur back, I want to pick up a stitch pack. My head now pulsing and my paws getting shakey. Pain staying well overdue its welcome. I sighed and tried to get a grip of myself, but this itch would not go away now as long as pain existed. 

  Giving in, I grab the stitching pack and head back into my room. The the now dark jungle seen from the window, the Slashers nowhere to be seen in the black soup. Quickly I grabbed the orange bottle off my dresser, opening it up and taking out little white pills. 

  "Vex don't you do this again."

  I winced, leaning on the dresser as my tail started to swish. "My arm hurts, I need them." 

  "You don't need them you want them." His voice rang throughout the ship, trying to get me to reconsider my actions. 

  "BB don't start this, I wont be able to sleep with my arm like this."

  "You're killing yourself."

  "I'm not!" I snap facing his outlet in my room, angrily looking at the blue holographic ball. Turning back to the desk to stare at the bottle. I knew he was right, I just couldn't stop. Not when the pain was like this. 

  Tears forming in my eyes I dump a few out into my paw, not even counting them as I downed them. The tacky feeling being stuck in my throat for a moment, swallowing for a second time to get them down.

  "Why would you do that, you should've done at least one. The recommended amount if it was for the pain."

  "I'm fine! I'll just sleep it off."

  "How long before you don't wake up Vex."

  Growling just a tad, I close back up the lid and take out the stitching patch. Placing it on my arm and yanking the string, breaking it off unintentionally as I felt the stitching inside the pad close up my arm. 

  "I told you I'll be fine."

  "You need help." BB said in a low voice, to which I brushed it off and flopped into the cold bedding. Closing my eyes and laying my face into the pillow.

  "Piss off, I'm tired of this every damn time." 

  "Fine, but don't think I wont do it again. You will break this habit."

  Ignoring him now, I closed my eyes with the room dimming around me. The pills kicking in, dulling my senses, the pain. All of it going away as the time passed, the sounds of the air rushing through the ship. BB taking off gently to find a nearby port. The jungle turning to sky as the dark took me to sleep.