#I'm going through some stuff
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the tightrope my mind walks on is thin
got something under my skin
am I trying to get out, or in?
there's one part of me that's mine
and that's fine.
Who Am I?
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I watched Starship Troopers tonight.
#personal#dumb#my art#immediately after finishing i was pumped to watch some analysis vids on it#cuz i heard a lot of the drama about the original author being a pro military fascist and the director going “fuck that” and making a satir#scrolling through youtube search results was not promising. lots of male film buffs i would Not trust even on a first glance.#“The Critical Drinker” (pfp of a bearded man drinking alcohol) lol.#and then I saw cinemawins did a video on it and was like oh nice i haven't seen his stuff in a while but he's a pretty leftist creator#scrolled through the comments#second panel face#this sucks i'm outta here.#just leagues and leagues and leagues of anime pfps and right leaning people dogpiling on him for “not understanding what fascism is”#idk it's pretty alien and weird to me watching this movie and going “wow yeah that was pretty obvious huh” like literally the from opening#to the teacher preaching militance and only giving voting rights to “those who serve their nation first and earn it”#and then seeing droves of people online going#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It's not anti-fascist and even if it was it's#the director's fault for desecrating heinlein's incredible sci-fi epic vision. ermm media literacy is dead.
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It's mine and I will keep it.
A thousand broken pieces.
Ten thousand razor sharp edges.
It's mine. And I will keep it.
#poetry?#i'm going through some stuff#healing is a weird process#but i'm getting though it#i've found myself in a place near the end#a place of embers that refuse to go out#a phoenix metaphor for a mental picture?#like fire -> embers -> ashes -> embers -> fire#this is proving a long process though#I fear i'm missed#someone is waiting for me to be healed and I hate to keep them waiting
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With the end of season two comes a second redraw!
[Nov 2022] [June 2023] [June 2024]
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#I was really looking forwards to this redraw - though the jump in skill isn't as dramatic as the last one I still am proud of my progress!#It's really incredible to look back on this last year and how much has happened since then.#Both in my personal life and this blog.#I started the second season while I was going through some pretty rough times and it truly kept my sanity afloat.#I challenged myself a lot more this year! And while it didn't always turn out the way I hoped-#-being messy and earnestly trying to do something different has been my favourite part of art.#There will always be a lot of room to grow - I don't think art and creativity has a ceiling.#I went from doubting that I was even an artist to joining a gamedev team as the lead artist! That's character growth!#Thank you all once again for joining me on this journey B*)#Thank you for all the messages and support you have sent my way these last 18 months.#I'm so happy to have been given the chance to create something for this community. You've given me so much and I am so grateful.#I'll take a little break to post some personal project stuff this week and resume season three after that!#Onwards to another season of silly (and sometimes serious) comics!
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...nice face
#i'm going through bkdk withdrawls#i think. personally. that bkg should have some weird fascination w deku's face#it never changes but bkg's perception of its attractiveness does !!!#bnha#mha#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#bakudeku#bkdk#fan art#becki draws stuff n stuff
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Gem: Hold on, I was just with the sniffers, and I got that, and that. *throws a sniffer egg and pitcher pod towards Etho*
Etho: Oh snappers! Noice, thank you very much.
*a pause, as Etho sorts his inventory*
Etho: Um… *faint laughter from Gem* I have a gift for you as well, Gem.
*Etho throws three poisonous potatoes towards Gem*
Gem, breathy and pained: Okay.
Etho, laughing: It's all I got. Sorry.
Gem: Our friendship is really tough to maintain, Etho. It's- it's hard, out here.
#hermitcraft#a quote#geminitay#ethoslab#gosh. the early season interactions are always my favourites. especially gem's#her and impulse last season are really what led to me falling in love with hermitcraft the way I did. soup group my beloved#the etho and gem stuff from this season was so good. I'm gonna have to go back through some of it I think#this was from etho's first episode of season 10! timestamp 34:54#mod rhys
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I was working on a new fic that I was really looking forward to, but in light of recent revelations, I'm gonna be taking a step back I think
also i removed him from the member masterlist and all of his fics, excluding things like YIMA and the poly series which I'm considering re-editing to get rid of him
#because honestly i'm disgusted and shocked#and i know my fics are entirely irrelevant in the scheme of things#but i kinda want to go through all of them and edit him out#which is easy (and already done by the time i'm posting this) for him as a background character in#some of the other members fics i've written but in others it's more complicated#like in yima and the poly series#as well as anything i've ever written that directly involved him#i also.... like was thinking about some of the stuff i included in yima with hc watching cameras#and now i..... i really want to change that bc when i was writing it i was like ah yeah this is pretty like gross#but now i'm like actually thinking realistically about that and it's fucking foul#so i'm definitely taking a step back#and i may quietly re-edit some stuff or i may just not be able to bring myself to do that#i have removed his masterlist from my member masterlist and all of his fics
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THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE
first song you heard — Mary On A Cross
September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.
#note: i'm aware this song is about so much more than the fictional ghost story. just really enjoying that aspect of it rn#very nearly didn't do this series because some people are a bit silly about fans who heard moac as the first song. i'm owning it sdkjcksh#it wasn't the song that made me a fan as i will show in the next post but moac slaps so hard and#if you only like moac and nothing else you're still a ghestie to me <3#not my fault i was on instagram in autumn of 2022#i was going through some stuff then and listening to clips of this pretty song on random videos was something i enjoyed#didn't know the name of it or who sung it but kept hearing it at 4am when i couldn't sleep and everything was falling apart around me#when all i could do was try to escape it until the morning#i feel a bit stupid saying this but when i listen to it now and remember hearing it back then#it's like ghost was there for me even when i didn't know it#waiting for me to find them and everything their music would teach me#until the time was right#ghost31#papa emeritus iv#the band ghost#papa nihil#sister imperator#mary on a cross#user copia edits#user copia all tag#wait for the next tags i'm also tagging:#rite here rite now spoilers#i'm emotional about their messed up little family finding each other right at the very end. they never let each other go#flashing gif#<- ig
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Strange times in the dndads fandom, strange times.
#and I'm all here for it lol#dndads#dndads spoilers#hermie the unworthy#hot glenn autumn#dndads s2 ep 46#cw death mention#juuuust in case#undescribed#dungeons and daddies#I'm actually very okay with the Hermie stuff (neutral-positive feelings on Herm) but I know some of you are going through it lol so
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made irving's dead wife + redid spencer's face bc why did he look so weird. also irving and sidney are there
#the mustache alone w no scruff is more historically accurate but......the mustache w the scruff...................................#yeah we're back to not being able to make female sims whatever#love this lineup however all these semi normal looking people and spencer's like hey i'm kinda suspicious of that living corpse over there#are we sure he's not going through some stuff you know and everyone's like spencer how dare you#ts4#ts4 cas#the sims 4#irving#sidney#wendy#her name was wendy i havent decided what their relationship was like yet#spencer
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luffy may not play favorites within the crew but the folks involved in OP franchise related stuff surely don't have the same problem huh
#LIKE WHAT IS THIS AJSJFJFJF LUFFY????#I'm sorry he was going through one of the worst moments of his life here but that close up of zoro is sending me#the zolu archive acc on twt has some really interesting stuff#tp#zolu
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remember that i'm ALIVE but minty isn't unfortunately
#zeno's art#ocs#soulstice circus#minty#also do you remember that death game train thing i was working on a few months ago GUESS WHAT I PICKED IT BACK UP!!!#might post some redesigns soon#anyway this sketch is from a few months ago#i'll try to comb through my ibis gallery to find stuff to share over the weeks because when i say INACTIVE i mean prob for several months#like expect things to go back to normal around july-august 😭 if youre from the UK you can prob guess which exams i'm studying for#and you should know that they're a BITCH#anyway zeno out. biology revision in.
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Life isn't made to be bright daytime, sometimes splotched with cruel clouds. Life is night, brilliant pinpricks of light bursting through ever-present dark.
#uh...#philosophy#?#I don't know#it's just something that came to mind#i'm going through some stuff#I wonder if this sounds depressing to other people... it's meant to be a good thing#like the things we'll end up focusing in life are the things that stand out right?#so if we look at bad stuff that happens as marring what should be perfect we'll constantly feel bad#but appreciating light in darkness breeds optimism
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a lot of clipping to fix, but hey I got it moving at least! I'll get the Telvanni robe properly physic'd if it's the last thing I do >:0
#last i checked the vanilla hdt clothes on the nexus didn't cover solstheim content#but i wanted to finally learn to do proper hdt bones myself anyway so its fine :)#this was a nightmarish mess before i separated the black underskirt to its own group#now it swishes around nicely and collides without going through the red outer skirt#i still haven't figured out the crouching/sneaking problem where it'll sometimes phase through the thighs like they don't exist#but that seems to happen to other people's outfits too so maybe it's not just mine? idk yet lol#hmmm i think that back flap thing with the gold trim is gonna have to be separated too. it stretches out weirdly :/#also. should the scarf get to move? maybe just the dangling ends?#bc the rest can't really move since there's nothing under the scarf. it's just glued at the edges to the chest of the outfit#which is good bc it's optimized well so the game isn't rendering the neck part of the robes that you don't even see#but I'd have to create new faces on the mesh to fill in the unseen gaps like i did when splitting the skirts up#and also i'm too lazy to map that new fancy chest area and draw out the missing texture with all the telvanni swirls :'(#help me motivation gods#modding stuff#my posts#i want nelly to be able to swish around prettily like anyone else <3#guys deserve some physic'd outfit love too
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rebirth of a fallen star ⭐
#I'M NORMAL I'M NORMAL I'M NORMAL I'M NORMAL I'M NOR#i've been going through it for the last almost 24 hours#i swear bkg always drags me out of burnout. he's always doin some shit#bnha#mha#bakugou katsuki#fan art#bnha manga spoilers#mha manga spoilers#mha 403#becki draws stuff n stuff#rendered#tw blood
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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