#I'm indicisive as fuck is what I'm saying

[multishipper-baby]

Also thinking about my DR AU, I'm not sure if I should make BxB canon or not. They'll definitely be friends and have a whole little side plot that I haven't yet had time to expand upon, but I still haven't decided if I should keep things platonic or keep Bon's crush on Bonnie.

It's not that important, because the Killing Game will progress in the same way regardless, but I do think I should make a decision at some point.

[kangev]

Movie Review

"The human adventure is just beginning" Star Trek The Motion Picture 1979

So I felt like watching some old movies recently and got my hands on a collection of Star Trek movies from old to new. Today I set out to give them a shot and see how the old movies hold up and if I like the series. A bit of a backround info on my knowledge on Star Trek: I know next to nothing about the universe and have had little to no contact with any media prior. I first got to know the name of the series because my physics teacher talked about it a lot in class and modeled themed exams when I was in about 7th-8th grade I guess. I've always been a big Star Wars kid and am to this day very fond with nostalgia on the series, but Star Trek was before my time (I'm born in 2002). Recently a friend recommended me Next Generation and I'm getting into it a little recently aswell. A lot of stuff baffels me tho, I don't know jack about the characters, the alien races and relationships between them.

So now today I had quite the shite day and decided to treat myself to a nice old movie, picked the first in my collection and decided 'chronological it is, baby". This movie fucking slaps. Gotta say straight out the gate, I loved it, it looked awesome, I don't know how they did all this shit in '79 but it's sick. The camera drives through the cloud and around the planet thing are stunning, this tops some of the computer generated stuff of the last decade for me for sure. Visually: Gaming The characters are the only thing that didn't pick me up as much. As always when I watch something Star Trek, I feel like I'm missing some crucial information on who people are, why people react the way they do and shit. I liked the dynamic between the 4 dudes, the struggle who gets to command the ship felt a bit out of place for what I know Star Trek to be in Next Gen. Kirk in this one is a bit too indicisive of a captain in my opinion. He gets affected by his surroundings more, which, actually, now that I think about it, is a nice contrast to Picard, who is incredibly competent and doesn't show much of fear or indecisiveness. Something else that was interesting to see is the way diversity was (or wasn't) included. When the whole crew assembled at the start I could see native american representations in the crowd, but the way women were portrayed was lacking in comparison to Next Gen. The twist near the end of the movie literally made me gasp out loud. I was fucking SHOCKED what V'Ger was, FUCKING nuts. Also the theme of the movie was super cool. Seeing the search for meaning in a movie made like 50 years ago, an outspoken denial of materialism being capable of finding the meaning of life, whoa, that was nuts!

Great Movie, I'm rating it 11/13 for the 13 books that I'm currently (not) reading nor finishing anytime soon the way it's been going

Sending my blessings darlings

[cis-jester]

When your high-key having a breakdown because the name you go by is still feminine as fuck somehow, and your trying to find a way to low-key change it (again) to something more masculine and that begins with the same letter as your deadname but you know that people will get pissed off, and you know that you can't change it on file again because then they'd have to change your login and everything and you'd look super indicisive and stupid.

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I really wanna die rn. I thought a name like Ryan/ryland would be masculine enough to help me pass but apparently it's a more gender fluid name than I thought when I chose it.

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Also my parents usually say they won't call me Ryan/ryland because it doesn't start with the same letter as my deadname, and overall isn't very similar so it's harder for them.

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Before I even changed my name, I knew what I wanted to go by was either Andrew, or Austin, but someone (not gonna name names) told me that those names were "not a fit" and told me the semi feminine name of Ryland was perfect. Now that person hates me and the name overall has a bad background to me.

*

I don't wanna go through another name change, but I want something that will actually work. I know people will tell me to just deal with it because it's difficult on friends to suddenly start calling you something new, and I know that. I guess I just.... Idk man. I'm going to go curl up in a ball and die now.