#I'm kinda anxious about doing this

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

AWH... I'm skipping through Roier's QSMP Day 1 VOD because I'm looking for a specific thing, and I just noticed that when Jaiden stands in front of the group to do her introduction and her mic isn't working, Mariana laughs (not in a mean way, I laughed too) and Roier immediately smacks him and tells him off for laughing.

[Timestamp ~36m 50s, volume warning for Quackity's awful mic]

It's such a little thing, but I think it's really sweet in retrospect, especially considering how Roier and Jaiden have become such good friends in recent weeks :')

[mspaint-flower]

I HEARD YOU HAVE A SONA,,, MAY YOU SHOW MAYHAPS..??? :0

i do have one yes! been having one for a while, mostly based on how i look irl, here's a (really bad and rushed) reference

never really posted about her because i thought no one would be interested HSJKHFJKHDKJEHG but yeag. her name is himawari which basically means sunflower and she wants to be a nurse

[thegreenhordes]

Field Guide to encounters with The Glow, Part One: Type 1 infected, AKA Growlers.

Growlers are intensely aggressive, so much so that they are just as violent towards other infected as anything else that moves. While blind, the Growlers are equipped with keen hearing and smell, and can locate a potential meal from far distances. Constantly on the hunt, these unfortunate beasts' diet of choice ultimately leaves them unsatisfied and starving. Stage 3 Type 1 infected usually die within weeks, but some have survived up to two months.

To Distract a Growler: Find some way to create noise in the opposite direction that you are located. Make sure it is loud, and lasts long enough for you to run. Flying is a viable method of escape if you possess wings, as stage 2 and 3 Growlers are incapable of flight. Stage 2 due to the weakening of their flight muscles- and stage 3 due to the loss of feathers.

How to avoid detection: Mask your scent. Try to remain as neutral-smelling as possible. This can be hard to do, but do your best and you will avoid being sniffed out by a late stage Growler. Avoiding detection by a stage 2 is simply a matter of staying out of sight and keeping noise to a whisper. Additionally, avoid making noise when near a stage 3 Growler. If you cannot be detected through smell, your best bet with a stage 3 is to hold completely still, breath slowly (quietly), and wait for them to leave line of sight- then you can make a run for it. Stage 3 Growlers are strong but slow-moving. Outrunning them in a large enough space is possible.

Special Notes: Growlers at stage 3 cannot be reasoned with and have the minds of starving, cornered predators. However, due to stage 2 Growlers being still rather cognizant, you can communicate with them- it is recommended to do so with some form of barrier however, due to their overwhelming instinct to bite and infect everything they see. When things were still relatively stable and infected were being appropriately contained, Princess Twilight Sparkle had frequent verbal contact with multiple stage 2 Growlers in her care. They were reluctantly polite, expressing a clear desire to attack the princess, but understood their situation well enough to be compliant at the time. All these stage 2s eventually progressed into stage 3, and were either put down, escaped, or kept for further study.

[actiiasluna]

content warning: this poem contains mentions intrusive thoughts of self-harm. please be careful and stay safe <3

my fingers are traitorous. they're itching,

trembling to spill crimson onto the page.

sanguine, my words desire to be let out of their

cages. i don't want what's inside to

escape my ribcage. it's too loud for me.

i'm scared to let her out, but the syllables spill

regardless. i am unable to keep her contained.

i wonder if it would be

easier if i were underwater. what if i

came up to breathe once in a while? but i

didn't talk. what if i just stayed silent and

let the blood dissipate? what if instead of forming

words the letters just floated off, found

places to be lodged into the sand, perhaps

found by visitors unlucky enough to be

stung by the tentacles of a jellyfish made of

a fallen vernacular?

did you know that jellyfish don't have brains?

they know what is danger / they seek to

survive. i wonder, am i surviving or living?

are they synonymous?

i wonder what it would be like

to decay. to let fungus claim me. i wonder

how it would feel if the mushrooms made me

one with this earth, where i feel

so very out of place.

would they remember me? i don't think the

decayed are victims. it is simply a cycle.

i'm scared that my interior will

fade. that i'll just be an empty outline. that

maybe that's all that's left.

maybe i'm too tired to

have a beating heart, and it's just

cold broken things inside.

just pieces of shattered clockwork.

i don't know if my

machines ever truly worked.

and i'm not sure if they'd notice.

what if they just let me shatter?

what if i'm made of glass, and i am

a menagerie of thoughts, all visible through my

delicate exterior? would i break if i

fell off the precipice? would my

shards glitter? would

that be more beautiful than

this incomplete form?

i want my words to spill out into

the earth. i want them to be

soil. i want leaves to grow from me, for

mycelium to sprout within. the hyphae

are more beautiful than i could ever be.

one moment in the mirror and i

shift from beauty to the reverse.

i don't understand

my own being. i don't know what

it is that i can define myself as.

did my hands want me to

release the verse that's

drumming inside, that's threatening

to escape the bars, that's trying

to break me from within?

did they really

care? or did they

just want me to bleed

for the sake of seeing carmine?

would it be

easier if i

just

didn't

breathe

oxygen?

[kiwichaeng]

Technically it's almost 1am on Thursday for me but I'm sure it's Wednesday somewhere in the world. Thank you for the tags @paperstorm @fallout-mars @lemonlyman-dotcom @heartstringsduet

“It’s my fault,” TK’s voice is quiet in the dark room. The sound of shuffling from the bed makes TK look at it. He had thought Carlos had fallen asleep.  “What do you mean?” Carlos’ asks, turning his head to face TK. His voice is raspy like he was halfway to sleep. Moonlight streams through the open windows and illuminates Carlos just enough for TK to make out his features. He lifts himself up against the headboard and rubs his eyes.  Guilt punches through him again as he takes in Carlos’ tired form.  “Fuck I’m sorry. I thought you were asleep.”  Carlos shrugs, then winces when the movement pulls at his injuries. TK looks away and to the side. No matter how much Carlos seems to think otherwise, he can’t stop himself from directing the blame at himself.  “What’s your fault TK?” Carlos sounds more awake this time, his voice soft. TK can feel Carlos' gaze, feel it begging him to look at Carlos. TK keeps his eyes stubbornly away.  He waves a frustrated hand across the hotel room as if that encompasses the mess they’re in. “This—all of this.”

Open tag since I'm so late <3

[missjoolee]

if you could only see

*read tags for fun facts. mostly written while half asleep. not edited.

"Oh," she says, the corners of her mouth drooping into that familiar frown that accompanied the majority of his high school career. She sets her mug down on the coffee table.

Oh? A similar frown is quick to replace the elated grin his face had adorned when he arrived. "'Oh' is what people say when they get socks on their birthday, Mom. Not when their son tells them that he's engaged!"

"It's just..." she hesitates, as if looking for the correct words. "...you're still so young."

"I'm almost 22. I--"

"Exactly! Only 22!" Emily interrupts. "How can you be sure?!"

"What?! Mom! This is Julie we are talking about!" Luke can't sit still and stands up from the couch. Resentment builds within him. Why can't she ever be supportive from the get go?

"Well.. You've only ever had the one relationship. You can't know what you want really, never having experienced other relationships."

His mouth drops open in disbelief. She cant honestly be suggesting what he thinks she might be.

"I thought you liked Julie!" His hand flies up with the statement, emphasizing his frustrations.

Emily stands, no longer able to remain seated as the conversations heats up.

"Luke, Julie is lovely. And lord knows she's done you a world of good, but you could really benefit from dating around a little!"

Oh, so she is saying what he thought she was saying.

He let's out a humorless huff of a laugh. "Are you insane? You think I should give up the best thing in my life, a sure thing, on the chance I might find someone that can make me just as happy somewhere down the line? Yeah, that math doesn't check out."

She is getting visibly agitated now as she takes a step closer to him.

"Julie will always be your teenage girlfriend. Your relationship will never be more than that of children!"

"God. Do you hear yourself?! Julie's not in her teens anymore. Our relationship has grown with us. We have supported each other through personal growth, and continue to challenge each other to be the best we can be! We've already been there through hardship together." Luke leans into Emily's  personal space, not wanting to back down. It's a familiar dance at this point, these arguments with his mom.  That thought gives him pause but he never drops eye contact.

His mom claims that Julie would prevent him from flourishing as an adult, but in this moment,  with Emily, he feels the most like he's a kid again in the worst way possible. Suddenly, he feels very tired. He takes a step back with a sigh.

"You're unbelievable." His normal volume voice sounds quiet after the heightened pitches from a moment before. He turns and heads for the front door. There is no point in staying.

"Luke? Luke! Get back here!" Emily follows after him. "Most marriages at your age end in divorce! I'm just trying to help you not make a mistake that will ruin your future!"

Luke's at the door but he spins suddenly to face Emily one last time. "It's not a mistake, mom! If you could just see all the ways she loves me, maybe you would understand why I feel this way. How I know this is the right thing to do."

"But Luke--"

This time he interrupts her, not caring to hear anymore of what she's likely to say. "I mean, if you could see how bright her eyes get when she says she loves me. I just.. " Julie's smile, eyes full of mirth flashes in his mind, replacing a lot of the angerfilled responses he wants to shout at his mom. "There's no way being with her could ever be a mistake."

He opens the door and steps outside. "If you can't be happy for us, don't bother joining in on the celebrations."

He closes the door behind him. His mom might have tried to say more but he honestly couldn't care less anymore. It's time to head home. Back to the welcoming arms of the woman he loves and can't wait to marry. She makes him a better writer, and a better man. She supports him and his dreams more than his mom ever has. This exchange has proven that all his mom will ever be good for is giving him great song ideas. But the one starting to ruminate in his brain this time promises to be a lot happier than Unsaid Emily.

[micha-lapin]

[paradoxgavel]

i feel like i should get an achievement for the number of times talking about my trauma has made my therapist go

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Update on my Whumptober thoughts: Not all the prompts will be posted, I have all 31 planned out but I found out that you don't have to post all 31. If a fic is finished, I'll post it but there's some big beasts that I want to write properly instead of rush. Also, I might not even write all 31. I want the completionist title but I don't have the time nor energy to force myself to write all the prompts and I did it last year and it wasn't like life-changing. I like Whumptober because the prompts help my creativity, spark some inspiration (talking about my Delancey Brothers Fic) but the perfectionist in me just beats myself up about not getting enough fics done before October or not writing enough each day to get them finished and then writing fics that all sound the same or the ideas being kind of shitty because I'm forcing them. I want to do my ideas justice rather than mass produce shit I don't like because I feel I need to, it's a constant line I walk between "I want to write something well and that I'm proud of so might be inactive for a while on AO3" and "I want to get this idea out there so need to post a bunch of stuff now"

[klein3ngl]

Hello :D do you have any p1 Dude headcanons?

hi hi.

oh boy, I thought I had a few, but after I sat down to write them just realized I might have a bit too much more than what I’ve expected, haha.

POSTAL 1 DUDE; headcanons

first of all! some headcanons make reference of how he was before the first game, so trying to apply them to the guy who’s terrified, sitting on the floor while hugging his gun would be pretty useless

also, if instead of a hyphen there’s a star it’s to address DID in Dude (I don’t have DID myself and I’m not close to somebody who has DID, all I know is from research I’ve done myself, so if there’s something wrong please tell me.

if you’re not into the DID idea just ignore the stars.

anyway, here we go:

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

— Before what happened in 1997 I think he was still a disaster, but a bit more functional.

I’m not gonna dig a lot into how he was while growing up, but he’s an only child that comes from a christian yet dysfunctional family, so after he finally had enough saved money and the legal age he moved to another city (not Paradise) to start again and never looked back, probably with a bit of help coming from Uncle Dave, the only family member that cared about him.

★ P2’s been with him since he was a kid/pre-teen. P1 doesn’t really knows who or what P2 is and at first is pretty much afraid, thinking he’s a demon of some kind. But after a while and seeing how he stands up for him (when he’s unable to defend himself, make friends, etc) and he’s not really trying to harm him he relaxes for a bit.

— He’s always been pretty much a loner, but not to the point to isolate himself completely. He had a tiny group of friends who were also as “weird” as he was who were also into the alternative/goth subculture. Those were probably the best years of his life.

But still, following the last point, I also think he’s one of those people that when they feel bad they isolate themselves for some time and then come back like nothing happened. It usually worked, until it didn’t.

— I have no idea of where I readed I don’t know if it was the Wiki, TV Tropes, in a reddit comment or somewhere else but I think that during the development of “Postal” the Postal Dude was around 27 years old. I don’t know if it’s true, but I’ll go with that.

And, to add some more flavor, I don’t remember if it was Tumblr or Reddit, but somebody had the headcanon that the 14 of November, the day the first game begins, it’s also the Postal Dude’s birthday.

I can’t remember who had such a good idea but I love it way too much, I love angst with all my heart so now it’s my headcanon too.

(if I see the original headcanon again I’ll give credits to the person)

— [ tw // mentions of drugs ] Definitely smokes both cigarettes and weed, but the last one just from time to time. Has tried acid or mushrooms but rather stick to weed.

He hasn’t done crack or anything too heavy, not before 1997.

— He has little to no idea of how to cook. He can do some basic stuff to survive, and he has tried following a recipe in the past, but it’s definitely not his best . Not like he enjoys it either.

— His body: pretty tall. He has a bit of a complex with his height, finding clothes of his size can be complicated and it’s a bit awkward too.

His body is a bit built (he does some work out because of the idea that somebody can attack him at any moment is enough to make him try to learn some self defense alone in his room). Compared to P2 he's has more corporal mass, but not as much as P3 would have. He's an in between. Not skinny but not fat either.

He’s also pretty pale. Not because he can’t get tanned or anything, but because he would rather go out when the sun is already setting or during night or, in general, prefers to stay at his house.

In general he’s one of those people you see on the street and catch your attention: it’s not always that you see a really tall guy with long ginger hair.

— He doesn’t cut his hair because he likes how it looks on him but also because he’s too lazy (and anxious) to go to a hairdresser. He sometimes cuts it himself, and since he has no idea there have been times it ends up disastrous, but since I think his hair is a bit wavy it doesn’t look really bad.

He also doesn’t maintains it really well, he only uses shampoo and, maybe, one of those 3 in one bottles and that’s all. If it’s really cold he dries it with the hairdryer, but rarely does so.

— His handwriting is HORRIBLE. Not like if it’s like hieroglyphics, you can read it, but it’s just really ugly (the diary/war journal entries is how he writes, but since he was pretty stressed and scared it’s a bit more agitated). Also makes too much pressure, not to the point of ripping of the paper but you can feel it on the other face of the sheet surface if you brush it with your hand.

Likes to write for himself, it’s therapeutic and the best way to cope, the less harmful to himself too.

— Following the last point he also likes to make some doodles, especially when bored. Nothing too serious though, the typical thing you do when you’re in class bored and you only have a pen in hand and a paper. You’ll see plenty of them that decorate his notes and diaries. They’re a bit chaotic, his traces being a bit messy.

— If he was accepted in RWS he might have some knowledge about the videogame industry or related. Not sure of what, probably graduated in some studies about it. Maybe a programmer? I dunno.

— Definitely neurodivergent. Either autistic or ADHD. Or both.

His main interests being weapons, movies and videogames. Predilect genres? Terror and horror. He’s not much of a reader though.

On a side note, easily overwhelmed with people he’s not close with touching him (or in general, he’s not opposed to it but would rather if the other person asked for permission) and large crowds, and the main reason he wears he started wearing sunglasses it’s because sensitivity to bright lights.

Still, he’s undiagnosed so he has no clue why he’s like that and why can’t he be normal, sometimes thinking he’s a bit dramatic. His group of friends also had other neurodivergent people who he could rely on so he didn’t feel that bad after all.

— He hated going to clubs for that same reason, even the more alt ones. Too much noise and people. He probably went there because of his friends and enjoyed it for a little while, but would’ve rather been doing anything else.

★ P2 liked it more than him, so when they made plans with their friends he was the one who was in control most part of the time.

— He’s the kind of person that I think would listen to pretty much everything, but definitely his favorite genre is hard rock and metal and its sub-genres: goth metal, black metal, grunge, industrial, you name it. Maybe nu metal it’s not really his thing.

Still, he jams pretty much everything so you could catch him singing a Spicegirls song and he would deny it with his life.

★ It’s in fact P2 who prefers nu metal and wouldn’t care what he’s listening to. Would probably tease P1 about it though.

P2: “You’re listening to Madonna? I thought you didn’t liked pop”

P1: “...shut it”

p2: “Whatever you say edgelord… "LIKE A VIRGIN JUST, LIKE THE VERY FIRST TIME- ♪"”

— He’s bisexual, but still in the closet and pretty deep in there. He has done a few things with other guys but nothing too serious or further than making out probably. Partly because he has some internalized homophobia from the family he comes from (in himself! would never judge or care is one of his close ones was in the queer community) and because generally he sucks at dating.

★ Again, P2 is more open about it than him, and probably the one who had those interactions with other guys, but since P1 was not really uncomfortable with the subject he never went too far.

P2 tried to talk to him about it, but P1 just refuses.

— Also, how did I forgot to mention this? Religious trauma.

Now, he has a weird relationship with his christianity and beliefs, his morals, and how he views himself since he was teached to be a good christian, and he kinda wants to be good at the eyes of God, but at the same time he’s into too many stuff his parents told him they were satanic and bad. He has mixed emotions about it, it’s like he wants to let it go, but he’s unable to do so.

To him the cross he carries around his neck is not for the aesthetic, but he’s not because he’s a good christian either. And when he’s feeling at his worst? It’s like a dog collar, reminding him how all the trauma his family beliefs have harmed him, but at the same time he cannot let it go for some reason. It’s like an abusive relationship both with himself and with his religion, if he even believes in it. It’s complicated to understand? He’s just as confused as you are.

Maybe the problem it’s not the religion itself, maybe it was his family and now because of them he can’t really feel comfortable praying (even if he sometimes finds himself doing so on the nights of rough days) or having a normal relationship with his christianity. Whatever it is, he’s traumatized.

★ And P2 doesn't helps either. He just does not cares about it and when he sees P1 having a breakdown about it, knowing how hard the subject is for him, just prefers to not to get involved, because, anyways, what can he do to help him? He just does not know either, it’s something he has to resolve himself. He cannot help him in everything.

P1 sometimes has called P2 a demon during his attacks, and even if he just ignores it it’s true that it can get annoying after all the times he has tried to help him, and every time they had a fight about it P1 ended up worse, so P2 decided to not get involved any more time for that too.

— I think he’s both shy and introverted, but don’t misinterpret me; not shy in a cute bean who gets all nervous and blushy. No. More in the staring at the person like if he was a deer in front of the lights of a car type of shyness, trying not to get too nervous, and after a few seconds he responds to whatever that person said or asked, hoping it wasn’t too cringy or awkward. He usually gets like that when he’s interested in a person (doesn’t matter if it’s platonic or romantic) and doesn’t want them to get weirded out by him

More introverted than shy, that’s for sure.

— If he’s having a good day his neutral face just looks tired, in his worst I doubt anybody would be able to get to see him because in those days he locks himself in his house and refuses to go out, but if it’s the case (probably the clerk of a shop because he ran out of food) it’s a mix of anger and fear (mainly due paranoia and hallucinations, trying to put and angry face to make the others don’t bother him).

— He could be INFJ (Ni Fe Ti Se) or INTJ (Ni Te Fi Se). If that was the case I think it would be due to Se grip.

I could go more into details because I really enjoy MBTI and see how its functions work on fictional characters.

★ Not the same as P2 of course, but that's a story for another day.

— Pretty much stoic, but on the inside? A mess of emotions he does not know how to untangle correctly. He can get emotional when he’s alone, but that’s a part nobody would ever see of him. He’s not going to let anybody see him in such a vulnerable and weak state.

— Now, returning to the main point. I could really go into details of what or why I think it could have happened for him to literally go postal, but I think the main point is that he moved to Paradise trying to escape from his life. And you may ask “but you said those were the happiest years of his life!” yep, completely, but there can be a few things that alone could have been bad but tolerable, but too many of them make them unbearable: maybe he distanced himself from his friends, had to move somewhere cheaper because of money, his mental health going downhill, etc.

The thing is, he moved to Paradise, and it was probably his worst mistake.

Uncle Dave lived there, that’s why he chose that city, but even with that he had almost no contact with him besides the first few days? He was on his own, alone again.

— Ironically, I think he actually worked for a post office. It’s the only job he could find.

— Both his physical and mental state got way worse. He’s never been a really healthy person, but still tried to take care of himself at least a bit. Going out only when heavily necessary and, after a while, not even going to work anymore. That's when he really ran out of money and got the terrifying letter: he got evicted of his “safe place”. Was his house even a safe place at this point? He couldn’t feel safe anywhere anymore.

He could have called Uncle Dave, but at this point? He was just so disconnected with reality he didn’t know what to do.

★ P2 saw him fall and had no idea of what to do at this point. He was tired of trying to help him so he just ignored. P1 felt so bad that, even if he find P2 annoying at times it was the last thing he needed, the last familiar thing he had disappeared hurts him to the core.

— [ tw // mentions of self-harm ] Even if writing in his journal really helped him to calm down during bad days it doesn’t mean he didn’t do other more harmful things to himself when he was at his worst. Before moving to Paradise he handled it better, he was able to tone it down pretty much since he moved from his parent’s house, but after everything got so overwhelming again? He doesn’t know any better. And the worst part of it? Finds it both comforting and thinks that he deserves all this suffering. For everything. For moving away from his parents, maybe they were right after all. For being a bad christian, God, if he hasn’t done it already, would probably turn his back the day he has to pass Heaven's gates. For after being so happy and having friends and thinking he was getting better and how he throwed all out the windows. It’s all his fault, and he knows it, but he can’t bring himself to do anything, not even therapy, and cannot call his friends. Nothing. The world’s still going on without him. He just feels like when he was a kid, but worse.

★ And here’s where he appears: the Other Dude (to me not the same as P3). He’s shows him his most intrusive thoughts, those who make him feel sick. OD slowly persuaded him to do horrible things not to himself, but the others. He’s twisted and manipulated everything, every little hope he had. P1 confused P2 with OD at this point, and was the one who made P1 get out of his house after a really long time, but with a gun in his hand, ready to kill everybody who made him feel so miserable and worthless. At this point he’s just gone.

At first, ironically, P2 tried to get in the middle of it, a bit confused of what or who OD was. Why he was so similar to himself? How long has he been there? But even OD persuaded him at some point.

Both P1 and P2 were tired of the way they were living and feeling. So why not change it?

I’m not sure who’s the one who got out of the house ready to cause a massacre, if P1, P2 or OD, but the thing is they all agreed at some point.

— I know this is going to be a bit weird, but I don’t think the whole game stages are real? It sounds weird, but let me explain: you really think a guy who has been locked inside his house for so long, having horrible hallucinations, almost no sleep (and if he had any, probably full of nightmares), not taking care of himself is really going to go too far? It does not matter how many weapons he may carry, it’s practically impossible.

Maybe the first 2 or 3 stages, but not much more before the police/militars/whoever it was got him at some point. The others only happened in his head, his mind going ahead of him, overthinking, and lately, his guilt getting over him.

By this I’m not saying he’s less of a horrible person, he did what he did and it’s sickening, it does not matter how bad he was feeling, killing people who have nothing to do with you and your problems is not the answer. Even if they were the cause, it’s not the solution.

— Leaving aside that all the “Postal” games are usually a parodies of real life and black humor (asides from the first game and “Postal Redux”) and taking it for something more serious, I don’t think “Postal Dude” it’s the name of the Postal Dude.

It was a nickname given both by the survivors of the massacre and the media.

— Also, after what he did he was everywhere. In the newspapers, in the TV, in the radio. That’s how Uncle Dave and the group of friends he had back in the city he lived before found out. But how could he? He was such a nice, quiet guy… he wouldn’t hurt a fly!

His group of friends, who since he moved without saying anything, didn’t pick up their calls and in general ignored them and decided it was for the best to just let it be.

Uncle Dave, on the other side he was worried. What the hell happened during all those years they were separated? It couldn’t be something he decided overnight, there had to be something more, right?

— He got his hair shaved at the asylum. After that he didn’t had it that long in his whole life.

— He got locked in the asylum, and being locked in there, alone again with his thoughts, it was dead of him. Metaphorically speaking.

★ P1 went dormant, refusing to think of what he has done, or at least accepted to do. He couldn't take all that blame, it was impossible. Every time he remembers it he wants to puke. He now really want to be dead. There’s no way he can redeem himself from that, God definitely has abandoned him. OD also disappeared. He just provoked all of this and now what? He accomplished what he wanted, where is he? He bring out the worst part of P1, was he trying to corrupt him and breaking him was not in the plan or was the plan breaking him from the start?

Whatever it was left P2 alone, also feeling guilty of what he has done. He does not feel as bad as P1 but he also cannot feel happy as OD probably feels. What they’ve done it’s horrible, but how OD manipulated them to do it? Even worse. Even for P2 whose morality is more gray-ish than P1s.

He hates it, he’s locked in there with the hallucinations and barely speaks to P1 because he’s completely broken and refuses to do so. Now it’s the other way around. He’s growing resentful to him too for that, they’re both cupid, can he at least make him some company? Like he did when P1 was a child too? It’s unfair.

He has something clear though: if OD ever shows his ass again he will NOT let get on him like he did. And even if he’s annoyed at P1, not even him.

— After some time Uncle Dave brings himself to visit him. At first it was so grim. Dude felt so horrible for his actions he couldn’t bring himself to even look at him, but after some more visits, therapy and meds he started to light up a really tiny bit. It was something.

★ It was not really him, P1 was pretty much not wanting to know anything from the external world, it was P2 who decided to take the lead. P1 didn’t wanted to live anymore? Fine, he would take his chance then. To live the life he never could since he’s always been on P1 mind, rarely being the one in control.

Maybe he was pretending, or maybe he genuinely wanted to get better, but the thing was: he wanted to get out of there, if there was a chance to do so, he would try it. At first do what the workers said, and if that didn’t work he would escape. He does not care. He wants to try to live.

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

okay I got a bit too carried away- I’m sorry-

hope you liked them! I’m not really skilled nor do I have practice when it comes to creating headcanons about characters even if I have a few ideas.

I’m thinking about posting a few more in a future,, but school work is killing me-

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

re my last post it's not even that I feel that bad about it. emotionally I'm fine? it's just that I look at myself and I'm like. packing black formal clothes. listening to The Black freaking Parade while my grandpa has heart surgery. and I'm just like... something is WRONG with me. who does this. something's wrong with me

[hearts-hunger]

good morning sweet sunshine <333

[yaoyuandaydream]

i don't want to be here most of the time i don't want to count on someone else to make me feel more than i am i just wish i knew how to be enough for myself

[graff-aganda]

My sample pins arrived!! 🤩👽🐰

The other three in the Summer Blubbin' set are drying bc the pinbacks came off with their rear protective sheets and I had to glue them back on. 😭 I'm pretty happy with their sizes overall! Bogos binted came out kind of large and the raygun came out kind of small by comparison though, so I'll probably see what I can do to fix them. And with the Blubby pins, I might lower the opacity of her blush, it printed kinda dark.

In addition to these I got a few extra designs for funsies. Some TMBG pins based off the Hotel Detective MV for my friends and I who are going to see them this year!! 🤩 One with that WTTH photo I did a redraw of, just for me. And two JFKs (Clone High) bc I thought they'd make funny collar pins hehe. I keep meaning to watch the new season but I want to watch the original again first... hard to find the time!!

[nalivaa]

SPNArchangelWeek: Michael

Prompts: Confusion/Dance