#I'm kinda on his side too. it's going to bother me for the entire book 🧍🏻‍♀️

[helenofblackthorns]

ignore the quality but first fey use 😔😔 my professor was literally talking TODAY about this & how modern authors use it wrong

[stayinlimbo]

Wait For Your Love

pairing: lee minho x reader genre/warnings: friends to lovers, second love (kinda), fluff, minor angst, hurt/comfort, brief mentions of a previous relationship, brief descriptions of heartbreak, so much pining omg, college-aged, mc's gender is not specified word count: 1.21k note:  i am proud i finished this one ngl. thank you @hwangism143 for giving me confidence. i'm not too sure how much i like this fic because it wrote itself but i hope you all still enjoy ♡

If there is anything Minho has learned about you in the years he’s known you, it’s that you’re not subtle. 

It’s something that’s never seemed to bother you, even after he pointed it out once during your shared lecture class, voice tinged with exasperation as you ogled at the upperclassman you’d been making heart eyes at for the nth time that week. You wear your heart on your sleeve like a badge of honor, displayed proudly for the entire world to see. 

Minho has witnessed every emotion be reflected on your face at least once. If asked, he could probably fill a whole book with expressions he didn’t even know were possible until he saw them on you, though the snapshots etched into his memory could never perfectly capture the art of facial contortion you’ve mastered. 

Your open nature was evident from the beginning. He can still picture the bright grin you gave him when you occupied the desk next to his on the first day of high school. The feel of your gaze flickering towards his seated form and the light bouncing of your knee as the teacher dismissed class made it no surprise when you twisted in your chair to ask for his name and if he’d like to eat lunch with you. 

It’s a curious thing, looking back on it, to see the immediate effect you had on him. Minho truly couldn’t help the pink hues coloring his cheeks as you tested his name on your tongue for the first time, nor the shy smile blossoming on his lips at the way you visibly lit up when he accepted your offer. He didn’t know you, didn’t know why you were so happy, didn’t know what this feeling was deep inside his chest; all he knew was that he really wanted to keep making you smile. 

He likes to think he’s been successful over the years, if the way your head tilts back in laughter at his silly antics and tight grip on his biceps to hold yourself up is anything to go by. It’s an admirable goal his younger self set, though he’s not sure when it shifted from wanting you to be happy to just...wanting you.

He wanted you when he introduced you to his cats for the first time, the gentlest smile playing on his lips at your barely contained excitement as they brushed past your legs. He wanted you when you tried to teach him how to swim, despite the poorly concealed judgmental looks you kept throwing at him when he clung to your shoulders tightly in the shallow water. He wanted you at your best, at your worst, and in all your in-betweens. He wanted to be by your side, even if he couldn’t have you. 

And he was. Minho was there to separate your clammy hands, wrung together by the anxiety flooding through your system, and give them a reassuring squeeze. He watched you take a calming breath, offering him one last nervous smile before walking a few rows over to ask out Chan, the upperclassman you wouldn’t stop gushing about. He offered you two thumbs up and the best smile he could muster as you bounded back to him, hands waving wildly in the air as you fervently spilled the details about how you scored a date on Saturday.

He was there to give the best “guy advice” a man with no relationship experience possibly could and third-wheeled more times than he’d like to admit, because, try as he might, he never was able to say no to you. 

No, Minho never left. If he did, who would be there to comfort you after you and Chan broke up right before his graduation? It didn’t matter that you were failing miserably at hiding your puffy face or eyes glistening with tears threatening to fall as you delved further into what happened. He didn’t care about the tears from your sobs staining his shirt and wetting his neck as he pulled you into his chest or the amount of tissue piled in his trash can. Minho chose to bear your heartbreak, be the anchor you needed because he loved you. He loved you in the way you deserved to be loved. 

He noticed the soft sighs escaping your past lips when he drove past somewhere that reminded you of Chan and the distant, longing look in your eyes when his name was mentioned. He saw your posture straighten, features lighting up slightly with a quiet “thank you” leaving your lips when he offered to bring you coffee every week before your morning class. Minho watched the weight on your shoulders be slightly lifted day by day as you reclaimed and channeled your love into yourself. He witnessed the smile finally reach your eyes, your laughter ringing in the air after he successfully predicted what the characters on the TV screen would say, and he swore he’d never felt prouder in his life.

Minho has learned all your mannerisms and would argue that he knows you better than he knows himself. Yet, there was a gleam in your eyes he’d never seen before when he leaned back on your couch and locked his eyes with yours. The way you quickly redirected your gaze was new too, and you even looked a little... shy. His eyes trailed down to your lap, where you fiddled with your fingers as he grabbed one of your surprisingly sweaty hands in comfort. Oh, it’s warm too. Weird. 

It was weird when you refused to look at him for longer than two seconds when he picked you up for class the next day. He could not figure out why you were biting down on your cheeks to hold back the smile threatening to break out any moment, nor did he understand why, two weeks later, your smile directed at him had changed—still radiant and beautiful but somehow softer, more loving.

Why are you looking at him as if you love him? 

You’re not subtle; you never have been. Minho can see it now in the way you’ve found more excuses to hold onto his arm when walking through heavy foot traffic, when you’re scared by the movie he teased you about, when you’re pulling him closer because you’re cold and don’t want to reach for the blanket resting beside your body. He can see your love overflowing in the same way as his, hands itching to intertwine with each other. 

He knows you know about his feelings for you. How could you not, when he can hear your panicky voice reverberating through your apartment’s front door, pacing footsteps creaking the floorboards as you repeatedly question one of your other friends about how you should ask him out? He really hopes the catch in his breath wasn’t too audible.

Minho doesn’t mind waiting; he’d wait forever if he had to. But it doesn’t look like he’ll have to wait for long, not when your hope-filled determination paired with a wide-eyed stare pierces his heart and soul as you wrench the door open and usher him through the entryway.  

And if he didn’t leave until the next morning, hand intertwined with yours as he dragged you to the nearest coffee shop, well, that wasn’t anyone else’s business.

liked this work? want to let me know how i did? please like, comment, and/or reblog; they are greatly appreciated my asks are always open ♡

taglist: @linospuddin @linocz @spicyhyunn @inlovewithstraykids @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21

[nikolaidelphiki]

Since a total of zero people asked me: here are my opinions on Palia non-romancable NPCs after playing the game for about 100 or so hours. And as always SPOILERs:

Ashura: You are my dad. You're my dad. Boogie-ooogie-oogie. I actually don't take to him as much as I should.The fact that he was the chill one in his family makes so much sense. He's such a calming presence. But of course there's the Regrets.

Delaila: Ok but why is she the few Older adult Majiri OG in Kilima? Like have you noticed that she's kinda the only one that's originally from the village? Like, where did she come from? Is she the real leader? Did she secretly take everyone out that she didn't like and replace them with people lured in my her homecooking? Things to think about.

Kenli: What happens when you don't give a nepotism baby a coming-of-age redemption arc. This guy is just trying his best. He likes sandwiches and cute fluffy animals. His best friend is the town priest. But despite it all man understands capitalism like no other (see Maji Market).

Caleri: She's a fav. Maybe I'm projecting but I too would die for my books and eat sleep and breathe in the library. Intelligent, unbothered by village happenings. Yet, keeps a detailed leger of each book bowers status upon the borrowed book's return. However, deeply unhappy with the cards life has delt her. I try to bring her all the glass bulbs so she can read into the night.

Elouisa: The only real G's out there. Sending me on impossible tasks to prove her theories and beat to cryptid allegations. Of course she's the older twin. Intelligent, bothered by village happenings when it comes to her projects. Still watches over her sister and cares in her own way. I love her.

Badruu: Comedic genius. I'm pretty sure when he gave up the bard life for farming, he realized he needed to put his funny guy hat on and has been spitting puns ever since. And yet despite the dad jokes, he asks me me, the amnesiad human for parenting advice. The absolute honor. Also, I just need to see him talk with Einar, PLEASE. The comedic fallout would be unmatched.

Najuma: I make the journey to Bahari Bay every day just for her. Because 1) thanks for the glider I use that every day 2) we are besties and 3) it's good to keep a genius that can blow stuff up on your side idk. We may have different types of Momma Trauma but we are still going to bond over it.

Chayne: I don't interact with him much idk. His dad's raised him right I think. Basically, caretaker for the entire village. Also my Shepp-in-law, grand-Shepp?? idk

Hekla: Jina's caretaker. A bit aloof at first. I also don't interact with Hekla much, but one day I'mma find out what's in the tent.

Sifuu: That's my Shepp! Also a problematic mother that doesn't really understand her child and yearns for days of adventure. And ripped. There's something to be said that she gave me an ornamental sword as a gift. Like insta-loyalty from me even if I wasn't romantically pursuing your son.

Auni: We babe who needed someone is his bug hunting club but mysteriously sucks at hunting most bugs if his item requests are anything to go by. The fact that he ran away from home for the exact length of time that his delivery shift is and wondered why no one was worried is absolutely hilarious and yes I read his journal and laughed.

Zeki: First of all, why is Zeki the only one selling toilets and they are contraband? Has anyone asked this? Is it like illegal to use indoor plumbing and Zeki has the monopoly?? Secondly, I know this fool is scamming me and when I finally get enough gold I'ma buy out him and his whole underground establishment. Respectfully, of course.

Eshe: If Eshe has zero haters, I'm dead. Just because she didn't get with the politically powerful sibling, she makes it everyone else's problem while somehow still efficiently running the village. Even I gotta admit no one's doing it like her. Another member of the problematic mom club but don't tell her she's been grouped with Sifuu. She'll pitch a fit.

Tau: The fact that there's only one of him is a crime. The only good boy.

[bonefall]

i saw that ask about cannon ships chem and i realized that the bramble abusing squilf thing is kinda sorta pointed out. But its kinda in a heavily implied, if you squint and tilt your head you can see it kind of way. Like how in the newest arc, every time Bramble and squilf, mostly her, gets brought up, she is Miserable. She is the most depressed she's ever been and Night is constantly kinda going, huh she's in a bad mood again today too, maybe it was brambles fault. Something i noticed also is that i dont remember a single scene of her in the recent books where she wasnt tired and miserable, kinda reminds me of bluestar towards the end of her life but that phase was split between her and bramble.

I'm not holding my breath, but if ASC continues the quality of the past two books, and is actually doing set up that it is planning pay off for, I think this time we might actually get the narrative finally SAYING that Bramblestar is abusive

Because they’ve written Bramblestar making a perfect, textbook example of an abusive "set-up," a situation where Bramble makes a decision that Squirrelflight HAS to defy, so that he can shout at her for it when she inevitably does.

I keep having people show up in my replies to try to tell me, “Oh he has dementia and he doesn’t actually know what he’s doing,“ and... listen, if you really believe that a person with a well-documented abusive past is just accidentally falling backwards into setting up his wife so he can publicly humiliate her, both able to HATCH plans but also MENTALLY INCAPABLE of understanding the consequences, then maybe you are the one with dementia

He tells her not to bother WindClan over the vole. Clan politics means that Squilf needs to say something about it. He manipulates the truth out of Nightheart in an incredibly tense scene where Night is clearly uncomfortable. When Leafstar comes to talk about Tigerheartstar’s little “suggestion“ at the gathering, we get this exchange:

“Let’s see how it plays out.” Bramblestar looked at her steadily. “It’s not like Tigerstar is planning to invade RiverClan.” “Not yet,” Leafstar mewed darkly. “But I can’t help feeling that he was more than just running an idea past us, as you put it. I think he was preparing us, getting us used to his plan, so that when he does act, it will seem less shocking.” “You’re being paranoid,” Bramblestar told her. “Am I?” Leafstar looked at Squirrelflight, clearly expecting the ThunderClan deputy to back her up. But Squirrelflight looked away. “If Bramblestar thinks we should let it play out, then that’s what we’ll do.”

-Sky (page 303 in my PDF)

I cannot read this without immediately being reminded of Squirrelflight’s Hope. This is the EXACT thing that Bramble abused her about for that entire super edition-- the feeling that she ‘wasn’t backing him up’ and taking the side of Leafstar and the Sisters.

He’s upset. He’s mad that when Leafstar leaves, Squirrelflight is angry with him over what he said to her, he’s still thinking about that vole, and so. He gets Nightheart to go spy on ShadowClan... to ‘prove‘ that Tigerheartstar isn’t planning anything.

His extremely reckless grandson, the one who threw himself in front of a hawk, the one who’s desperate to please Bramble. He picks him to go spy when he was the one arguing that Tigerheartstar is totally innocent and they shouldn’t be suspicious of him, preventing anyone else who’s more capable from taking action. When Squirrelflight finds out about this, she tells Nightheart that she completely forbids it, OBVIOUSLY, because this is an awful idea!!

So we could say that the writer here completely didn’t intend any of it and is just so bad at writing that they portrayed literally the opposite (bramble bad) of what they intended (bramble good and noble), but... I’m choosing to give this arc my goodwill for now.

So here’s to hoping this arc ends with an actual Bramble callout

[southparkartsystuff]

Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover

One Shot

Plot Summary: You’re a fourth grader who lives in South Park and hears that one of your classmates is a vicious bully who wants to kill people, what will happen next? This fanfic includes Kyle Broflovski and Reader’s friendship(NOT a ship).

TW: Antisemitism and minor cursing.

Today is Saturday, and after eating breakfast and changing clothes, you were planning to stay at home and draw in your sketchbook for the entire morning until your parents forced you to go outside and play with the other kids.

As you continued to walk around the streets, you were confused and a little scared since you kept hearing your parents tell you that "strangers are dangerous" but tried to not let this bother you.

All of sudden you're stopped by a big boned kid called Eric Cartman and his side man Butters Stotch, you immediately recognize them because they study in your class.

"Hey Y/N, how is it going?" Cartman asks.

"Sorry, but I gotta go!" You tried to leave but Cartman stops you again, holding your arms tightly to the point you felt pain.

"I want to warn you about Kahl." Cartman then takes his hands off your arms.

"Who?" You asked.

"Eric is talking about Kyle Broflovski, he is the most arrogant and selfish douchebag in the class." Butters replied in a creepily cheerful manner.

You finally remembered but the very few memories you have of Kyle are him fighting Cartman and that's pretty much it.

"What do you mean?" You asked in an confused tone.

"Well, Kahl is Jewish and the Jews are evil, greedy, selfish little pricks who want to take over the World." Cartman angrily replied, making you kinda scared as you never imagined that Kyle could be that bad of a person despite his notoriously bad temper or that Jewish people were indeed "evil".

"Is he really planning to take over the World?" You fearfully asked.

"Yeah! Kahl is indeed a dirty Jew rat who can actually kill people with his cunning, evil ways!" Cartman replied by taking his phone and showing you obviously photoshopped pictures of Kyle killing babies and animals. "Haven't you seen how angry and cruel he is? Don't trust him, ever!" He then showed up another photoshopped picture of Kyle laughing hysterically as he burn someone's house for fun but you ended up believing anyways because it seemed "real".

"Well, I guess we did good by warning them about that nasty Jew boy!" Butters says cheerfully. "See you later, Y/N".

After Cartman and Butters left, their warnings made you start sweating and you panicked, fearing that Kyle might kill you or try to take over the World, so you run away to the kids park so that nobody can see you.

You run so fast to the point that when you arrived in the park you started to get really tired but when you were going to sit in the seat, you see a green hatted kid that was already sitted there.

Oh no, you immediately recognized that it was him!

Your heart started pumping up so fast that you were almost going to have a heart attack but then you started hearing crying noises.

"Wait, is he…crying?" You whispers as you get confused as hell, whenever you saw Kyle, he seemed always angry and aggressive.

So, to put it shortly, Kyle was for you a tough guy with anger issues and nothing more, but the fact that Cartman and Butters decided to warn you about his "true colors" today, only made your perception of him worse in your eyes.

However, you didn't want to get involved in this whole mess so you tried to leave but Kyle overheard your steps, making you even more scared than before.

"Hey, who is here?" He asked in a sad but stern tone, you tried to run away but Kyle turned his back and looked at you, he wiped his tears away and walked next to you, you WANTED to run but you were too scared and tired to do that.

"Please, don't kill me!" You start shrinking in fear and after hearing this, Kyle's eyes become full of tears again but he doesn't actually cry and changes his expression to anger.

"No, I'm not going to fucking kill you!"

He raises his tone a little but then ultimately softens. "I'm not a monster.."

"But Eric Cartman told me that you were a greedy Jew that's planning to kill people and take over the world." You immediately closed your mouth with your own hands after realizing that it was a bad idea as you were afraid of what Kyle would do with you.

"Of course it was that fat piece of shit!" Kyle gets really pissed. "He's ALWAYS picking on me for being Jewish and today he was able to turn EVERYONE against me by making stupidly retarded photoshop edits and sharing these pictures with my friends online! I'm not a bully! I don't want to kill animals and I would never harm babies, heck, I have a baby brother that I love dearly and it hurts to see people thinking that I am an evil, greedy murderer just because l'm Jewish!"

"I-I didn't know he was picking on you…" You tried to explain yourself.

"It's okay! It's just that Cartman is always othering me because of my faith, making everyone treat me like an outcast and I don't know what to do anymore." Kyle starts crying. "It’s so hard to be the only Jewish kid at times."

You were shocked! You never seen Kyle showcasing a vulnerable side before and this STILL confused the hell out of you but at the same time, you wanted to make sure he feels better.

"Hey, I'm sorry you have to go through all of this shit." You then hugged him. "There’s nothing wrong with you being Jewish and Cartman is a bigoted moron."

"Thanks!" Kyle hugs you back. "It's not your fault!" He smiles but then he looks at your forehead and sees that there's bruises on it.

"What happened to your forehead?" Kyle gets worried about you, making you a little weirded out.

"I accidentally bumped hard into the wall today but it's nothing." You tried to walk away from the conversation but it only made Kyle more worried.

"Oh my God, it looks awful!" Kyle gets closer to you. "Does it hurt?" He then touches your forehead, making you softly screams of pain.

"Dude, I'm fine!" You get annoyed with Kyle's overly concerned ways but you couldn't help but find it sweet.

"No, you're not fine! Your forehead is hurting and still hasn't healed yet." Kyle then grabs your hand. "I'll take care of you." He then walks you out of the kids park and by then, you start feeling more comfortable around Kyle and finally realizes how much of a good kid he actually is and that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I’m kinda glad you got that ask cause that is SUCH a good way of wording it. My views on the whole pro/anti have relaxed since I got older but never to the point of full on pro-shipping and I couldn’t explain why it just doesn’t sit right with me to fit myself into either category. It’s like anti-shipping is so “nothing can be negative or even morally ambiguous ever” but I’ve seen pro-shippers call people puritans and compare them to actual dangerous right wing conservatives for being uncomfortable with things that are very normal to be disgusted by (like incest and/or graphic porn of young children).

Like why does it have to be one or the other when none of these people are making any sense half the time. It’s such a chronically online argument too. I cannot be bothered anymore

Pro-Ship/Anti-Ship talk: you can see my stance here.

[I denounce the entire conversation to begin and I existing exactly why.]

Exactly like - if we really care about these topics then let's not boil them all down into one question and then fight - without discussing the topics.

Case in Point:

I know why I got this ask. It's very easy to guess - the only person I really write about is Hobie. It's very easy for me to make the connection between Hobie - age - proshipping - 'ew'.

And I think the Hobie conversation in particular, like more than other cases - is ridiculous! I can't scream it enough.

Arguing about Hobie's age is an endless argument.

Every time this argument comes up people on both sides point to the Art Book and like - "Look it says-"

It doesn't say shit.

Literally one the EXACT same page in the EXACT same paragraph they describe him as

'SLIGHTLY older' and 'MUCH older' than Miles. In the same breath. Even the book doesn't know. So if someone is genuinely out here arguing for either side and you believe that you are unquestionably right - I see it as waste of time.

At the end of the day the Hobie in my head is an adult. If the Hobie in your head acts like a teen and you think he's a teen, okay cool. That's how you characterize him. But if you think that YOUR Hobie is MY Hobie - nah. They're both still Hobie, but we're not seeing the character the same

AND THAT'S FINE.

Honestly I'm just happy we got him to begin with.

And because I wanna end it positive

[him and diane smiling at each other AHHHHH]

But like regardles of age- Isn't Hobie such a good role model?!

Like, Miles' dad insists that Spider-man should be a role model, and Hobie thinks the opposite - he's not and he shouldn't be. (I should write about how his violent self-endangering ways may lead to him feeling this way)

But even so, he's a great role model to everybody, without even trying. To Gwen, To Miles, To me, and all the people watching he got into punk. All the young black kids with natural hair. All the alt black people. I can go on and on.

Like, EVERYONE feels safe with Hobie. Because he cares about people - and because of that, he's a role model.

Spider-punk may not be a role model, but Hobie Brown is. To everyone.

[andiwriteordie]

I love sending you asks (hope it doesn't bother you) (I might have angst Mike thoughts when I'm more coherent) : you are INCREDIBLE thank you so much for the food !!! I absolutely live for the way you put Mike and his relationship with his firebending ! I am absolutely loving everything you said so far!!!

NICOOOOOOOO <33333

my fellow angst lover!!!! thank you, i'm so glad you've enjoyed the little mess of thoughts that i have about all this au lol!!!

ok *cracks knuckles* i will try my best to give you some good ole fashioned mike wheeler angst. if i've rambled about some of this already, no i haven't, just ignore me <3

let's talk about this universe's rain fight.

(the song i was listening to while writing this in case you wanted the vibes)

i think i've alluded to some of the ideas nic and i have had with the rain fight and how it all fits into this crazy little world we've built! with queer couples being more prominent in the avatar world, we'd kinda decided not to have the homophobic society be as big of a focus, but rather to mike's insecurities with his bending be what begins to cause that distance.

@messrsbyler we should probably go back and revisit this... eventually because we had good ideas there but ANYWAYS. nic and i had started to discuss what book 2 (the equivalent of parts of st s2 into st s3) would look like and just how will's possession type of arc would come into play there. because, as we all know, will's freed from the mind flayer's control through... yep. his family literally burning it out of him, and nancy burning his side with that metal rod.

i'm not gonna get into too much of the specifics here (mostly because we uh. haven't entirely figured them out yet lmfao), but let's just all operate under the assumption that because mike is also a firebender, both he and nancy are there when will is getting essentially tortured to free him from whatever is happening with the spirits.

did somebody say mike having extreme guilt and a negative perception of his firebending?

so now we flash forward a few months into book 3 (st s3/st s4 combined), and we see mike and will aren't quite as close as they used to be. because mike... can't. he just can't. he looks at will and replays that moment over and over again in his mind—nancy's fire, will's scream, mike's delayed reaction. it's like a broken record in his mind, and we see mike begin to battle with those existential questions about his bending. his bending has been such a core part of his identity for his whole life, and he's tried everything he possibly can to just be good at it. to live up to nancy's standards and to his parents' expectations. firebending has been everything to him, and it makes up so much of who mike is and how mike perceives himself.

firebending is destructive though. mike has always known this in the back of his mind. it comes with the territory of being a firebender. you're warned to be careful—to keep control of your element, lest you hurt somebody else. fire is wild, and if you're not careful, it will harm and it will destroy.

and if so much of who mike is, is tied to his firebending... what does that say about mike too?

it all comes to blows one day when will confronts him about their distance. mike has been avoiding him, and will's not stupid. plus, will has his own shit that he's going through, and somebody talk about miscommunication trope, because god knows will is over here feeling something like a mistake or something broken after what has happened to him. and the one person who has always been there for him, to remind him that he isn't broken, and to hold him close and remind him how to breathe again... that person is pulling away.

neither of them are very healthy, and neither of them are very good at communicating. so when they fight, they fight, and they throw around harsh words and accusations. words are spilling out of mike's mouth that he doesn't mean. they're just reflections of how he sees himself. he's projecting his insecurities onto will. and his words? they're a fire—untamable, dangerous, and destructive.

it's in that fight that mike crosses the line, and he loses control of his words and of his bending.

his words: "it's not my fault you can't bend anymore!"

his fire: igniting sparks as he moves his hands about, the way he does when he gets angry like this.

and his best friend, left burnt and scarred, by both mike's words and by his fire.

for a moment, mike and will just stand there, because neither of them can quite process what's happening. will is stunned and obviously in pain—the gloves on his hands that cover the tattoos he's ashamed of burned right through, and his hands already beginning to blister.

and mike is just horrified. because this is exactly what he'd been so afraid of. he's never been that good at controlling his firebending. he's never been good at protecting his friends from the people who hurt him. and apparently, he's not so good at protecting his friends from himself either.

mike tries to reach out. it's second nature to make sure will is okay, and even though there are horrified, guilty, burning tears in mike's eyes, he moves past the shame and the guilt and tries in that moment to reach for will.

but will leaves. he's on his bike today, not his glider. he doesn't use his glider very much anymore. he hasn't since he was kidnapped. will leaves mike behind.

and mike doesn't follow him.

because now will's better off without his fire anyways.

(spoiler alert: mike follows will... eventually. *cue wheeler-byers-hopper roadtrip to find the twins*)

[bee-the-whovian]

My thoughts on "The Artful Dodger"

1st, I haven't read Oliver Twist or know anything about the story except the very surface level.

2nd, this isn't going to be HEAVY spoilers, but also not spoiler free so if you are wary... ok

So I just finished it, 3 sittings or so to get through 8 episodes. I was *iffy* after the first but each subsequent episode I did get more invested.

The Good:

The vibes are good. Victorian Era Australia, very nice. Medical drama, Crime/heist show, bit of a romance

Thomas Brody-Sangster is a gem (he's the reason I watched it in the first place, sue me. I have a thing, ok?)

Jack and Fagin's relationship is very interesting

As is Belle and Jack's dynamic

They are actually very cute on several occasions

I thought the story issue from the first episode was going to be the entire plot and it wasn't and the show was so much better for it. TIME PASSED and that's so important for character growth

All of the characters were good or pretty good in their developedness, even/especially the side characters. I understood nearly everyone and they feel like people and I understand their motivations, which is quite the task for a show with this size supporting cast

Good through line story without feeling like "this is a very long movie." Each episode was its own story, but they did all tie together well

The foreshadowing about Belle was well done

The... something

The gore is a lot so if you have gore issues, definitely not the show for you. It didn't bother me since it was plot-relevant. Victorian surgery, yes it's a bloody mess. It wasn't slasher movie gory. But if you're messed up by any blood, period. Yeah not it fam.

I don't know much about Oliver Twist, as I said, but I do know he was the protagonist of the original book. I intend to go and read it. In any case, pretty sure this was a disservice to him. In a few ways. You can have a story that focuses on a former antagonist, and show their redemption without making their former adversary an idiot or worse.

The costuming was kinda strange. The gentleman looked really nice most of the time, but varied, (Jack was a whole vibe, and I liked Fagin too with his fun patterns) but the lasses were weirdly distracting. I liked some of Belle's dresses but a good few looked like costumes. They looked fake. Outrageous colors and patterns. The colors, ok, maybe, but a lot of the patterns were just, lol, no. Fanny... her costumes seemed relatively era-appropriate, from what I know, but them being so gaudy on purpose... thanks, I hate it. Insert the same for that one suitor and for Oliver Twist. That collar the mother always had... oof.

Its streaming on Hulu only so if you don't have Hulu, you're up a creek. I've got access through a friend, with ads, and the ads along with my initial misgivings made me almost give it up.

The music is fine. Not bad. But nothing stand out. I read something about Australian rock and... cool. The music sure is there. I'm willing to give it another go, but good music makes a name and I just didn't feel anything here

A couple episodes end in the middle or right before something crazy happens, and the next episode just cuts to later and... ok I might have liked to see that, at least a bit (notable, Red in the cemetery)

The Bad

As most television has now-a-days, quite a bit of language and innuendo. Sometimes it's tolerable, sometimes it's completely uncalled for.

2 scenes I had to skip through, one very bad (episode 3? I think)... at least the main characters waited until... no, no it was just bad, and took away some of the importance of their conversation in the previous episode. The "not just the last in a long line" thing. It felt pandering and disrespectful to Belle as a character, and to the audience... well, me. I know the creators know there is an audience for that, which is a problem in itself.

The feminism was... weird. Fanny and Belle are talking and it's just... they are not from the same century. Their dialogue is a Frankenstein of two wildly different scripts. There is nothing wrong with women who fight for things but the way they show us in ep 1 that "look Belle is a strong woman" felt so gross and hamfisted. The misogyny was pretty heavy-handed too, not that I believe it's far from realistic for that time (people are the worst and have been for a long time) it was also very weirdly implemented.

Everyone was cheating. All over the place. Not one health relationship in the whole show. Just... rough. Also, very few if any of the characters are good or nice people. They have their moments (Belle is actually not terrible past the 1st episode and Jack is pretty inconsistent, which when it comes to wibbly morality is actually a blessing rather than a curse) but in general, yeah not really any straight up role models. Is that too much to ask? Character don't need to be perfect, in fact they shouldn't. They'd be rubbish characters. But having clear cut flaws and labeling them as flaws is important. I think the best arc in the show is actually Fagin (not to say Belle's and Jack's are useless, they're just not GREAT. I actually also liked what seemed to be a bit of an arc for the governor... it had a bit of hope.)

The depiction of religion was upsetting, though not surprising par for the course. It was catholicism so... ok, understandable, but the frequency of faith being the butt of a joke irked me

So, overall....

There is enough ill in here that if I knew what I was getting into, personally, I might have skipped it. I know my triggers and issues and this isn't great. But, since I did watch it, I will acknowledge it's good parts. I am glad I watched it. I'll probably watch a 2nd season if it comes out since I'm already invested in these characters. But at the same time, I wouldn't recommend it to friends without heavy warnings. I have plenty of friends who would deal fine with this content, but personally... it's a very caveoted recommendation, if that. More of a, I watched it and it won't kill ya or anything. There is stuff to enjoy. But bad stuff up to your ankles to wade through, too.

Thanks for reading all that if ya did. Cheers.

[an-asuryampasya]

scream

termites are, in fact, the fucking worst.

They make me feel so useless.

We have- had, now- this Telugu-English dictionary. Always called it the 'Brown dictionary' at home, because it was by Charles Philip Brown and it had to distinguished from the host of other dictionaries dotting the shelves (my grandfather has an extensive collection of books and that includes multiple Telugu-English dictionaries, as well as English-Telugu, Sanskrit-Telugu, Hindi-English, English-Hindi, and probably a bunch of others my kid-self couldn't be bothered about. Well now I very much can be bothered and I'll go check on them in a bit, but first, back to me moping about a dictionary. Also yes, my grandfather really likes collecting stuff. It's a goldmine that I'm only now beginning to appreciate as my interest in archives, conservation, and history grows. Also if you're new here (and my url doesn't make sense to you), hi, I'm Very Telugu on main sometimes and ramble about languages occassionally. Right, back to moping).

I'm stupidly fond of that dictionary. I rarely use it of course - probably why this even happened, it never seeing any sunlight - because I google shit like any other person. But just, growing up and having a rare moment of seeing my dad stumped by a word and us pulling out the Brown dictionary to look it up made me oddly excited? It's a nice memory (-I say, ignoring all the times when I'd have been groaning as he sent me to hunt it down because I'm certain those times happened too). Mostly though, the dictionary amuses me for a different reason. That book is wayyyy older than me, and I've been aware of it right since a time when I read books, but was young enough that I didn't really understand the need for author names. I mean, if I like a book and need to identify it, I need the title of the book itself. What do you mean it's possible to like an author and seek out more of their stuff? What good does knowing the author do? What do you MEAN dictionaries have authors??? The Oxford dictionary is just the Oxford dictionary??? And yeah, dad calls this one the brown dictionary, but that's because the cover of the book is brown, see? [Note: it was not, in fact, brown. The cover was orange and white. It was the other Telugu-English dictionary that was brown in colour, but I couldn't care less about that one at the time.]

[I eventually learned why it was called the Brown dictionary when my dad once asked for it and I grabbed the brown coloured dictionary and my dad was all ???]

So y'know, the title of that dictionary always makes me laugh when I remember why it's called that, and yeah I'm kinda emotionally attached to it now. Except today I decided it's time I look up my url on there because sure, I know what it means, but it's the brown dictionary. For old times' sake and all.

[side note: if you're wondering, my url means "she who never beholds the sun" (as my ideal state is me being holed up in my room). It's a Sanskrit word too, but Sanskrit dictionaries tend to carry only the figurative meaning of "part of a king's harem", so I'm particular about clarifying that I mean the more literal Telugu meaning when I use it. Bonus fact! I was delighted to learn of this word for the first time when my brother's ENT called him an asuryampasya. xD Great doc, that one.]

And well. That's when we discovered that the termites had attacked. They got some of the other stuff too, including somthing my mum is inordinately fond of and aaaaaaaah. I tried looking up online to see if we could buy another copy of the dictionary at least, but a used copy is priced at some forty fucking thousand (INR, that is. But still too expensive to buy just for old times' sake when technically I can just google the words I want.)

So that's it, then. The book is not so badly damaged that it's entirely useless so I can't even throw it out without feeling guilty, but large swathes of it are too messed up to use (the entry of asuryampasya is half eaten, with what's remaining reading 'she beholds the sun'). And I just. Feel so helpless. I read up on conservation practices and study the theory of how light ruins books and what chemical treatments are done and stuff but what is the point of me hoarding all that theoretical knowledge when the ONE book from my grandfather's collection I'm actually fond of got chewed up right in front of me, and I did nothing. Just. Scream. I feel very sad and useless. I should go check on the other books and stuff but I'm too upset to do it right now.

I'll get to it eventually, but until then it's moping (and making that the internet's problem like this) I guess. :(

[quietbluejay]

Scars 2

and that, no one knows. this really is what Haley was drawing from with Wolfsbane huh

oh huh this is also kinda paralleling Yesugei's bit because he was also waiting for orders, and decides to go to Chondax anyways because he's worried and it's been too long without contact

surprise! their trip home is gonna be delayed because they ran into the Alpha Legion

oh! it's the Terra interlude also Wraight does love his descriptions

which is fine lol because i love them too you know i feel like "loves writing setting description" is something that BL actively looks for in its writers, I definitely feel like most of them I've read are a fan of this: McNeill, ADB, Haley, Thorpe, Wraight…maybe French and Reynolds as well too well okay ADB isn't really huge on the setting but more on character descriptions from what I remember

given I'm actually a poet you'd think I'd be better at it and use it more lmao but I find when I do it just contrasts too much with my usual prose style, and not in a good way

okay huh you know this was my very first intro to Dorn back in the day "back in the day" i say about a book i read less than 6 months ago

you know i can't remember if this place shows up again i hope it does, it's cool all the telescopes and orreries… okay dorn intro everyone is standing in awkward silence

okay i'd forgotten but the third guy in the room besides Malcador and Dorn is Valdor

huh did not know that about custodes armour it's cool though i like it Malcador: i can't think of anything we haven't said already

this is a really appropriate comparison Dorn: k i'm gonna do an As You Know segment for our readers so, Dorn does know what's going on underneath the palace Malcador: everything is under control Dorn: only because a) the emperor is down there and b) a thousand people died for this huh what's that referring to

like was there an actual sacrifice or is that just how many sisters and custodes have died

man I'm now remembering that bit in - I think it was The Path of Heaven? let me dig it up it wasn't anyways Emps and Malcador were talking and Malcador again expressed his regret about Prospero and the Emperor was like "Russ always makes good decisions, it's cool, if he did it Magnus deserved it" now it's going to bother me, where did this happen It was in vengeful spirit

Thé whole thing where the emperor calls them warlords looking for advantage is hilarious with the knowledge that he set them all up to be rivals I mean in addition to the fact that they’re not doing that

Man just like imagine it Guilliman for real splits, Russ and Lion each think they’re the true inheritor and squabble over the emperors real will The imperial fists have a schism On the other side lorgars power grab splits the group Khan and alpharius hang back and don’t commit to any side

anyways Dorn's pretty mad, Isstvan V which they've gotten news of is still a raw wound

they run through the remaining loyalist or at least not clearly traitor primarchs

ok so ferrus' death is confirmed it would be funny if there was a False Ferrus running around a la False Dimitri vulkan and corvus, who knows lol, malcador is dubious of sanguinius and guilliman which is the first i've seen anyone on the loyalist side doubt sang, I think

ah yes the oft-quoted line first time i read this i made a joke re: dorn having actual experience knowing sisters

im pretty sure he is thinking "is this really the time?? you really think that would have been better??? really???"

malcador: the entire point of the khan was that no one knew him too well i can't really wrap my head around this tbh

anyways they go through who he was friends with and it doesn't look good for khan lol horus and magnus

yesugei and malcador both say that about nikaea lol also, lmao, every single discussion i see dorn and malcador having has dorn getting irked at malcador re hiding the warp stuff so they're going to try to send messages to him if he doesn't answer, welp, they know where he stands it would have been a legitimate twist if russ had gotten turned and they all were like "russ is just Like That he doesn't answer" and then poof

again the way this book introduces Jaghatai is really interesting we kind of circle around him lol this is his first actual scene, he's playing not!go with Ilya, and it doesn't even become clear that it's him until several paragraphs in we don't get a physical description, only what he's doing (lounging)

again this is what we get first before any actual description of who he is or what he looks like also nice "simulacra of their own bodies"

so, ilya and the khan play board games and now we get the physical description

he's barely been in this book and already he comes off as perhaps the most mature primarch

like he's got his quirks to be sure but it's not like adults don't have quirks and flaws

he's got some advice for Ilya oh it is just Go they're playing it's literally called "go" I mean not like regicide is chess

ilya: it's true but sometimes you really do have only one enemy and have to figure out how to get to them khan: it is easier for a subtle mind to adjust to simplicity (exact phrase) still defensive, ilya notes she doesn't blame them though oh interesting note the khan very rarely smiles, unlike most of the white scars also, he's missing yesugei tsk the term for growing grapes (for wine) is viticulture, not viniculture (chogoris is not a big wine producer lol) so ilya had no clue about nikaea, interesting

hm you know if the heresy hadn't happened, this would not have ended up going well for them in the long term or not, who knows Emps tolerates a lot however there was also the administratum trying to get control over the legions which helped in kicking off the heresy realistically, they're limited in what they can actually do unless they have the power to do stuff like refuse to resupply/repair but ilya's actually the beachhead of that she joined right after ullanor which is actually the earliest of any, huh kind of feels like because the white scars are so, hm, free-ranging, that they wanted to slowly start with them first also they're a lot safer than most of the other "wild" legions

khan: you know it's nice being out here where we don't get wifi and i don't get emails telling me to do stuff time for CSI: Astartes edition the body they found was likely…killed by another legionary dun dun dunnnn but we move on

it's the stuff like this that really makes it feel like wraight's built a world you can walk around in we're back with the wolves they're outgunned by the alpha legion lol

pfffffffffffffff again i must ask how are there any wolves left

yeah like what was prospero, dude also so much for the whole "russ and the wolves actually dealt with at least one of the redacteds" though it's possible godsmote just wasn't around then Bjorn is bothered by the Alpha Legion switching sides guys who were dead obvious: world eaters, iron warriors, death guard oh huh we're digging into bjorn so from wolfsbane we know he's an introvert from here we know he's a gloomy guy huh he's another one who feels like his personality goes at a cross-grain from his legion oh paralleling ilya, they both thought they'd die living quiet accomplished yet unremembered lives and now they're at the centre of things

return to yesugei who is leaving chogoris and thinks about how they (he and khan) would have been happy if they'd never left so a fun little project i have is doing comparative primarch morality, like looking at how each of them understand morality and see themselves (or don't) this is because i have a lot of material to work with here let's look at some of khan's

of all things, I'm kind of reminded of Fate/Zero Rider aka Iskander he's a character i'm really not a fan of lol and it's reminding me of why i disliked khan at first what does he fear

well, haha, he got what he wanted, the monkeys paw closed

this is the kind of stuff i find really fun and i kind of wish Wraight had expanded on this well the book is young (21% mark) like it's really interesting to think about how all these non-spacefaring cultures adapted, not just in terms of integrating technology but also with respect to like, cultural values, quirks, etc

yeah it's understandable how that could be frustrating to some people but also fine for others they'll get there when they get there

torghun is at a khan meeting and the news is. something.

heresy it feels just as jarring a word coming from this legion as it did from the ultramarines the twist: he's talking about the burning of prospero they got the news from horus again i am thinking about more multi-sided heresies involving the guys who were out of the loop i.e. guilliman and khan acting based on the news of prospero and ending up in a tangle yes a lot of these ideas of mine involve guilliman not being a loyalist whether it's on purpose or not that's because it's really easy to do …and also khan it's really easy to butterfly stuff with him

[joongernaut]

The last Jeno request 😭 that man been hunting me for Months, like, why hes so handsome??? It's not fair

Yeah, we have material enough from Taro to write a lot. I love and I'll write a lot about him because I can and u want and I like him a lot.

Yeah, having a good paint range is important too, thank God I have a high one so I'm not that scared.

I have a dream with Mark last night, soooo, can I ask for Mark who's wanna sleep with you but hes kinda intimidated by you, like you are in a relationship already but haven't get in that point yet👀

pairing: reader x mark lee

genre/warnings: smut, some fluff, 'one bed' situation gasp, mark trying to be a respectful young man, reader being a minx, blowjob, dry humping/grinding, vaginal penetration, riding, creampie

word count: 2.3k

A/N: hi hi my lovely anon and sorry to keep you waiting for this request! i've been busy busy but finally got some down time to post this and i hope you like how it came out because i actually really did! enjoyyy 💋

“i’m so tired.” you let out a small yawn as mark swiped the room key to open the hotel room door. hearing the audible ‘click’ of the door unlocking, he shot you a small apologetic smile.“ sorry for keeping you out so late. if you want, you can take a shower first and i’ll go after so we can get ready for bed?” he suggested and you gave him a nod, smiling back a little as you squeezed at his arm.

today was your one month anniversary and mark, being the lovely boyfriend that he’s been from the beginning, had planned everything out pretty much to a T. from what exactly to wear, placing the evening dinner reservation with delicious (and a little overpriced) food, as well as booking the hotel room for the two of you to stay in afterwards. he would have just let you sleep over at his place but he really just wanted to spend more time alone with you tonight and not be intruded on by his nosey roommates.

mark opened the door to the dimly lit room, only slivers of light from the outside lamp posts peeking in through the drawn curtains, before he allowed you to walk in first. he then searched the wall nearby for the light switch so you wouldn't bump into anything and he could get a better look at the room. once the lights flickered on, he finally took in the sight before him and blinked slowly.

“oh, there’s… only one bed?” he questioned out loud to himself as he walked further into the room with furrowed eyebrows. he could have sworn that when he placed the reservation online that the room had two beds (for you, if you chose to sleep separate from him) but apparently not. “is this not the room you reserved?” you asked from behind him, making his body instinctively tense up. “well…” he trailed off, scratching the back of his head and you tilted your head as you studied his body language. clearly there was something he wasn’t telling you.

mark wanted to make a move so bad, he really did, but he was a bit afraid. it felt a little too soon for sex when you had only just started dating and he didn't want to rush anything in fear of making you uncomfortable. the recurring thought of you getting angry at him or being disgusted with him for bringing it up when you two were only just beginning your relationship made him want to steer clear of the topic entirely. he was patient, he had the ability to wait until you brought up the subject yourself.

but lately he had been craving that intimacy with you. to touch you and be touched. to connect with you not only through mind but your body as well.

“we can go back down to the check-in and get it sorted out if you want?” you suggested to him after gauging his reaction and mark shook his head. “we’re both pretty tired and it’s getting pretty late, i wouldn’t want to bother them anymore.” he said, placing the overnight bag and the rest of your belongings off to the side in the opposite corner of the room. you wanted to ask if he was sure but decided to not press him further and opted on taking that shower he offered you to take first.

once you both showered and got dressed in your pajamas for the night you watched a little bit of TV from the selection the hotel had to offer before a yawn broke out between the two of you signaling that it was really time to go to bed.

it was fairly easy for you to sink down into the soft mattress once you laid completely down, all of the lights turned off in the room making it even more ideal as you closed your eyes and slowly drifted off into a light slumber. mark, on the other hand, could barely focus on the task of getting himself to fall asleep.

not when he had rolled over into his side, facing away from you, and then felt you wrap an arm around his waist as you pressed your chest into his back. your hand stayed on the lower part of his stomach, specifically where his shirt had rode up and you could feel his bare skin, as your thumb rubbed slow circles. to anyone else this would be comforting and it had been for me mark too until he felt himself twitch in his boxer briefs.

leave it up to him to get himself excited over very minimal touching from you. but to be fair, he had never been touched like this by you beforehand. cuddling so close to him, spooning him, and feeling your skin on his skin, what was he supposed to feel? it didn't help that the thumb you were massaging him with had turned into your whole hand moving up and down his stomach and dangerously close to the waistband of his underwear.

“are you uncomfortable?” mark jumped at the sound of your low voice whispering into his ear, your breath fanning along the shell and the side of his neck.. “n-no, why would i be?” he replied, heart hammering in his chest now as he felt your nails grazing his skin lightly and on an even lower part of his stomach. you hummed in thought. “so, you like when i touch you?” you decided to ask another question rather than respond to his own and you heard him let out a shaky breath. “y/n…” he mumbled, feeling his face and body grow hot partially from embarrassment at how turned on he had gotten but mostly from arousal.

you wordlessly moved your hand away from him and he fought back the protest about to spill out of his mouth. he felt you shifting behind him on the bed and turned over to find you sitting up and looking at him with an unreadable expression. “mark, can we… do something?” you trailed off and he could honestly say this was the first time he had ever seen you look nervous. “what do you want to do?” mark asked expectantly, his breath catching in his throat once you drew back the covers from your bodies and started to descend towards the end of the bed.

fully on his back now to watch you crawl between his legs, he could definitely say that he was hard from the sight of you alone in just your panties and a small t-shirt that did nothing to cover your lower half. you shifted a bit until you were comfortable before slowly hooking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, tugging it down until his dick smacked against his stomach. your eyes flickered up to his and you stifled a laugh at his mouth agape, eyes widened with the suspense of what you would do to him.

you wrapped your hand around him and mark hissed at the contact as you gave him one fluid stroke, leaning in to ghost your lips over the head. “how long have you been wanting this?” you questioned with a teasing tone, noting the shudder from him the more you stalled. “since we first met.” he admitted sheepishly. a groan rippled from his throat when you kitten licked at his tip, getting a taste of the precum leaking from it and savoring it with another long lick before wrapping your lips around him.

“oh my- fuck.” mark cursed as you took more of him into your mouth until he nearly touched the back of throat, the gag you suppressed constricting his dick briefly. you pulled away from him with smile as he let out a breathy moan, a thin string of saliva connecting your lips to him. “you should've told me sooner. we could've been doing this.” you said before licking him from base to tip and taking his dick back into your mouth. “i didn't want you to think that sex was all that i wanted… i really like you and respect you.” he said between breaths. you let out a huff of air through your nose at his honestly, the words sinking in and making you adore him even more.

you bobbed your head a little faster, moving your hand up down in time with the pace and mark instinctively grabbed at your head with a tug that had you moaning around him. you went on like this for a few more minutes, pushing him closer and closer to his end until a particular tug at your hair popped his dick out of your mouth. “sorry, i just want this to last.” he said with a visible flush to his face and you wiped the spit at the corners of your mouth as you shot him a smirk. “it’s okay. i didn't want you to last anyways.” you said, pushing his hand away so his grip on your head loosened and his arm fell to his side.

crawling up his body slowly until you were in his lap straddling him, your pussy still covered by the thin layer of your panties came in contact with his bare cock and you ground down on him slowly. mark’s hands gripped at your thighs as firmly, helping you rock back and forth as you leaned down to connect your lips together in a soft, gentle kiss. the difference between the kiss and the lewd action and the feeling of how wet you were through the material with each grinding motion made mark’s head spin.

the kiss grew into more as you pressed harder against his mouth and licked at the seam for entry, becoming more urgent as your tongues mingled. you started to peel the clothes off of each other one by one until he was left completely naked while you still had your panties on with your bare chest present to him. “i know you said you respected me,” you started as you hovered over him, moving your soaked panties to the side and showing your slit glistening with your arousal. “but i need you to fuck me like you don’t.”

all mark could do right now was watch and stare as you lined yourself up with his cock before sinking down on it in one motion, his head falling back as he placed his hands on your hips in a vice grip. “you feel… fucking amazing.” he breathed out once you withdrew from him until only the tip was inside of you and then sinking back down to the hilt with a moan. you did this a few more times at an agonizingly slow pace and you know it was starting to affect on mark with the way his grip on you tightened. it wasn't until you withdrew from him again that he brought his hips upward in a hard thrust, nearly making you topple over.

“sorry.” he said in a strained voice, almost a growl, as he did the same thing again but harder, making you whimper. “m-mark, that feels so good.” you moaned out as he repeated the action again and again as his hands started to roam your body in haste. rubbing at your plump breast and tweaking at your sensitive nipples until they moved down along your stomach to your aching clit, your pussy clenching hard around him at the contact.

mark’s other hand reached out to wrap around your throat before pulling you down towards him in a sloppy kiss. the hand on your clit snaked its way from between your bodies and promptly gave your ass a smack as he gripped at the flesh and moved you along his cock as he thrusted into you. “is this how you wanted to be fucked?” he asked while giving your throat a squeeze, a mewl coming at as his thrusting got quicker and more frantic. “yes, yes, please keep going.” you whined, arching your back to get closer to him and get him to go even deeper. mark followed through by releasing your throat and using his other hand to grasp your other ass cheek, helping you bounce up and down while he kept fucking up into you.

“i could do this to you all the time, any time you want.” mark seemed to ramble as he got closer to cumming and his thrusts started to get sloppier. “i promise you i won’t hold back any more. i’m yours in every way possible.” he rasped and you buried your face into his neck with a moan as you too were about to be brought over the edge. “mines… and i’m yours, too. i love you.” you said softly, the words feeling like they could be etched into his skin. a few more frantic thrusts and you bit down on his collar bone to suppress a scream as you started to cum hard around him, triggering him to press deep inside of you before spilling all that he had to give.

you two came down from your high a good couple of minutes afterwards before you lifted yourself until he was completely out of you, shuddering in slight sensitivity at the emptiness as well as the feeling of his cum slowly seeping out. “i love you, too.” mark said after he got a moment to catch his breath, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he turned his head to you and you mirrored his expression. “don't wait so long next time, seriously.” you said with a roll of your eyes, giving his shoulder a light and playful shove before getting up to go clean yourself in the bathroom.

mark’s smile only widened at the mere thought of a ‘next time’ happening.

[witch-hazels-musings]

Hello hazel! I hope I'm not bothering you, I just wanted your opinion on something that has been kinda bothering me.. I've come across a lot of headcanons of "undesirable traits of genshin characters in relationships" lately and alot of them say that diluc would be neglectful/unsympathetic towards his s/o where he alwan and I mean ALWAYS prioritize his duties over them.. I don't want to bring down writers since it is their vision of how the characters are but... isn't it a bit too much? I know no relationship is perfect but I don't think he would even inter the relationship if he knows he can't make time for his partner besides it's kinda sad to think about especially since he's one of my main comfort characters.. I wanted to know your opinions on this since I personally think you're the best person who writes diluc in character on this site. I hope you have a great day❤❤❤

welp - first of all, thank you for that compliment >< (negative traits in general are hard to handle, everyone has flaws (even me - i get impatient at times!), and when it’s your comfort character, those ideas can hit even harder, be more sensitive) 

so here is my hot take -> (holy crap this got long because I had some things to say lol) 

General Diluc headcanons about relationships: 

Diluc is a busy man - he’s either working at the winery, at the tavern, or out protecting Mondstadt on the regular 

there is a likely chance he wouldn’t enter into a relationship at all because

1. it’s painful to be vulnerable and he’s already lost two people who he absolutely loves (his father, Kaeya (yes, he still cares for him)), and the thought of being betrayed by them or losing them would be so hard

2. he literally keeps himself so busy that it would be hard for him to devote time to another person  (unless that person was equally as busy or okay with being on their own, i.e. finding ways to keep themselves busy) 

3. relationships are hard anyway (even Albedo thinks the same thing - I believe the both of them are similar in ‘friendships and relationships are hard to maintain, so i just don’t bother) 

I have a strong feeling that he keeps himself busy purely from regret - he wasn’t able to protect / save his father, he couldn’t stop the fatui, he lost Kaeya to a world he didn’t even know about -- he’s impulsive and reactive to things, no matter how much he tries to stay calm -- and he doesn’t want to add more regret onto his shoulders (it’s easy to ignore past memories when you keep yourself distracted 24/7) 

headcanons about him in a relationship:

he would be busy - he’s still got things to do and places to be, but he wouldn’t be totally forgetful or neglectful of his partner 

so he doesn’t keep material items, but you might so it’s possible he would buy you things (books, materials, clothes) to keep you satiated and whatnot (if that’s your thing) 

I think one thing to remember about being in a relationship is that you are comfortable being WHO YOU ARE - and if all you are is being with the person, and you can’t be ALONE and WITH a person, all relationships are hard -- so with that in mind, If his partner was okay with keeping themselves busy, maybe helping with the workload, finding a hobby or activity that they liked to do, not only would he support them in that, but he’d be so relieved that they aren’t bored out of their mind waiting around for him (again - the guilt would weight on him if his person was just ... sitting around) 

When he does have a spare moment, he’d check in on you, especially if he cared about you with the level of intensity I know he would - this boy, once smitten, once determined, wont hold back 

He may go on a walk with you, may cook with you, may entertain you at the tavern -- why? because he WILLINGLY says he will be at the travelers disposal any time they need him (he’s not heartless - he’s very helpful and considerate - he’s just busy) 

if he’s been away or without affection for a while, his partner should seek it out - go to him, touch his arm, give him a loving smile, remind him you are still there and I guarantee he will take a moment to just be by your side

A Place for the Weary is exactly the type of relationship he needs - someone who he trusts without a shadow of a doubt, who is confident enough to get him to take a break, and loving enough to provide him a place to rest his head

he assuredly will provide for you, in his gestures, in his glances, in his statements of affection, and in those evening moments when there is nothing to distract him from your everything 

He would make sure his priorities and duties are fulfilled, he has an entire freaking winery to run - and he wouldn’t forget that you are around - he sees you through the window as he paces back and forth in his study. He hears your laughter drift through the hallway, your voice floating from room to room as you sing/talk/exist. He feels your affections when you come to check in on him, a soft hand on his shoulder, a kiss on his cheek. He wishes for your return on days you are away and will welcome you fondly when you come back. 

He loves you, most ardently, and as the gentleman that he is, he will provide for you if you are open and honest with him. His trust is everything, don’t break it. 

[leviiattacks]

heyyy there, saw your requests are open. and i'm wondering maybe you could do a timeskip where everything is done and levi finally opened his tea shop. then there he met reader, and he treats them differently from other customers. thank you, hope you're having a good day.

author note :: this was kinda rushed as is most of what i post. the reader is a writer just bc i thought it would be cute and also ISTG. i wrote this entire thing thinking leviolas was such a cool name for a tea shop then googled it and saw it’s also the name of a spider so... ++ btw i have not yet double checked or proofread this because i wrote it at 2am but yeah it’s definitely not great :-) word count :: 2.4k??? somehow???

you’re sweet like honey when you first order from leviolas. you’re the same when you ask the owner for extra napkins and you remain exactly the same when you return with the intention to stick around for a writing session with a black tea by your side

something about you is attractive. that’s what levi thinks of you when you first walk into leviolas

you’re just incredibly wholesome poking your head around looking at all of the handmade pastries and confectioneries in admiration

you think the homely decor is cute and reminiscent of cottages in the countryside, the view outside the windows is beautiful and the scent of coffee alongside tea is heavenly

the pastries are beautiful and you find yourself eyeing the macrons pretty frequently. just EVERYTHING about leviolas is cute :-(

but one particular thing is especially adorable to you

and that would be the owner

when you hear his name for the first time you’re a little shocked

levi ackerman to be specific captain levi ackerman, the high ranking official who aided in paradis’ independence and freed the nation from the grip of titans

you read about him a year back in a paper or two and vividly recall the valiant title he held as humanity’s strongest soldier

he still holds the title that’s for sure but now he happens to own a tea shop

it’s slightly unusual it’s not every day you see a soldier retire and live such a plain life but you suppose the simplicity makes levi happy

honestly, if you had been through hell and back like him you too would wish to spend the rest of your days in the company of tea leaves and sweet cakes

today is a day like any other you’re sat by one of the windows and contemplating sitting in the outside seating area

the sun is shining and lands uncomfortably on your face at this angle and you may as well make your way outside

but before you can a shadow looms over you and a broad chest leans over to cover the window with dainty curtains

“you looked bothered by the light.”

oh god.

it’s him.

he’s standing there looking at you with an unreadable expression and all you can do is open and close your mouth not knowing what to say

humanity’s strongest soldier

levi ackerman

also known as the really really really attractive cafe owner you’ve been crushing on for the last few months now

seeing him up close is much more different to looking at him from the comfort of your seat or whilst you order

he’s normally got his back turned whilst collecting orders or another worker collects them as he prepares the beverages

that’s why the unexpected interaction has you nervous

you can always tell when he’s made your drink because he honestly has a way with tea leaves and you kinda want to gush about how much you enjoy it

but, no, no, no.

you’re panicking just looking at him

soft black strands of hair stick to his forehead, his undercut is oddly satisfying to stare at and he smells of pine trees which again is refreshing

“ah hahaha thank you for blocking the sun out!!”

why the fuck did you ha ha????

this is so awkward.

putting on your best front you beam up at him hoping your toothy smile doesn’t look stupid

then again it probably does because who the hell has a good toothy smile

nobody.......

levi’s gaze lingers on you but if he has anything else he wants to say he doesn’t make it known

instead he firmly nods and turns away

you’ve messed up,,

only!!! you manage to mess up even more....?

without thinking your hand latches onto the back of his blue button up and your face burns up realizing what it is you’ve done when he stiffens to a stop

as quick as your hand has grabbed onto his shirt it lets go and you awkwardly laugh again

hahahahaha

“i’m sorry i didn’t mean to hold onto you so hard i was just...wondering if you could let me in on your secret.”

the random sentence is one you’ve made off the top of your head because you don’t have any real reason for holding onto him

but thankfully for you the saccharine of your voice is enough to sway levi

when he turns to see you with the same smile eagerly awaiting his answer something sparks in him

his chest feels a little funny but he ignores it

“secret?” he questions

“yeah!! your tea!! you’re really good at making it and aaaahhhh” you sigh contently thinking back on it.

“i remember when i ordered rose tea one time. you made it beautifully and the taste was infused so delicately it was incredibly soothing.”

hearing you ramble passionately about what he loves to do makes his chest feel funny again

he doesn’t know what the hell is going on exactly

but the only way he can explain it is his heart somersaulting and flipping despite him not wanting it to

despite that, it’s quite enjoyable

it’s probably got something to do with your kindhearted demeanor or the way you always manage to give him a smile when you waltz in

but levi finds himself fighting to touch you more and more as the days pass

your collar is always haphazardly done and he wants to lean in and fix it

sometimes you’ll have an eyelash on your face and he wants to lean in to swipe it away with his thumb

occasionally he stares at your hair and wants to sort it out. half the time it’s all over the place from the wind

he wants to lean in and smooth it out.

all he wants to do is LEAN IN but he sees no valid reason to

he’s lucky he’s always able to catch himself before his thumb reaches your cheek (you’re very oblivious and never notice how close he really gets)

ever since your first encounter at leviolas a few months back he’s been dragged into your world of books and lively stories

it doesn’t take you long to break out of your shell and you’re always telling levi something new

he doesn’t speak as much as you but when you coax out a story or two out of him he’s always earnest

you’ve learnt a lot through the conversations

you’ve learnt about his lost comrades, the horrible things he had to see on the battlefield, how he hopes he’ll live happy with what he has left

there are certain conversation topics he skips entirely and you respect his boundaries

you and levi are sat by a window and a comfortable silence floats between you two

it’s been four months

four months since you asked what his secret was

come to think of it he never told you what it was

he’s intently staring at you as you drink the lemon tea he’s just made you and his stare is a little too intense

feeling nervous you pick up your cup hoping for something to occupy yourself

recently the butterflies in your stomach have been increasing in number but you know it’s wrong to fancy levi

you don’t know why you think that but it’s the fact that you’re sure you’re not his type

he probably likes organised people, dependable people, funny people

not you.

you’re just an irksome author who spends your days writing in his shop

honestly he finds you annoying he has to. you’re always hanging around here

however, you do remember the one day you did choose to write in the park he thought you had died or something. that made you feel a little sad because he can’t really help but automatically worry if his routine is broken and you happen to have accidentally become part of his schedule

no, like levi’s literally said he has your name in his planner and whenever he thinks of a new thing to make you he’ll write it down with your name next to it

but still,, you’re convinced he has to find you annoying

there’s no reason for thinking it but you DEFINITELY think it’s correct

absentmindedly you haven’t even noticed levi still staring at you

“y/n?”

looking up at levi he’s clearly worried about something

humming in response telling him to continue he does

“i like someone.”

oh.

“...i’m not sure they’d return my feelings, that’s why i mentioned it.”

you smile at him warmly and you feel your heart sink, obviously he has to like someone. it’s probably someone in the corps, someone strong, someone capable. you’re not any of those things.

“well, you need not worry. if a man as good as you fancied me i’d be over the moon. i’m sure they would too!”

keep optimistic, don’t let him see you upset.

levi’s cheeks grow bright red and he bashfully tries to hide his embarrassment by covering his face with his hands

you laugh when he doesn’t budge and stays in the same position 

“c’mon levi, confess they’ll accept you have nothing to fear.” you coo persuasively

finally letting up after a few seconds he lets his arms drop to his sides.

“would you date me?”

the question takes you aback and you stare at him startled

soon realizing the idiocy laced in the inquiry he quickly retracts his statement

“nevermind, that was stupid.”

ignoring him you still want to answer

“uh well, i would. i have thought about it on occasion.”

he’s blinking rapidly trying to process what you’ve just admitted.

“you’ve thought about...?”

“dating you. yes i have.”

“and why the hell would you do that?” you can’t tell if he’s mad at you

“you’re capable, respectful. you’re considerate and quiet. i mean it you’re an amazing man really. also your tea!! imagine getting to drink it every day.”

you really have to add in the part about his tea because you know he loves it when you compliment it :-)

“ok, you drink my tea every day already.”

his short uninterested response stings and the dam of regret bursts open 

you shouldn’t have said all of that.

you and levi sit in an awkward silence for what feels like an eternity. you don’t dare look at him and your course of action is too drink your tea as quick as possible before dismissing yourself.

but before you can set your plan in motion levi breaks the ice.

“let’s date.”

you freeze and your eyes grow to the size of saucers

what did he just say???

he has to be losing his mind

“but levi what about the person you like?”

his eyebrow cocks upwards and an amused expression stretches across his face.

“i was talking about you.” he confesses boldly

this is a fever dream, nope, nope nope. you can not comprehend that this is your reality.

pinching your arm you hiss a little when you feel the pain

okay so, you’re definitely not dreaming...

“i, you, me. you...you like me?” the sentence is a jumble of words but you manage to sputter out something that makes sense

“yes. i like you.”

he’s being so blunt you can’t tell if he’s being serious but when you remind yourself that this is levi you relax, a blunt straightforward confession is meaningful coming from him 

BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT

HELLO???? HE LIKES YOU BACK?%^%^”*

you get all blushy and flustered and you let out another one of your awkward hahahahaha’s but it’s a good hahahahaha

cautiously testing the waters he grabs your hand from across the table intertwining his fingers with yours

the gesture is adorable. the buzzing sensation that travels through your laced fingers makes you giggle to yourself giddily

“leviolas suddenly a matchmaking agency now? ;-)” your joke is dry and unfunny and levi rolls his eyes at it 

“you’re not funny.”

“but you still like me.” you tease

“yes. i still like you.” he admits

a few days have passed since then

you and levi have been the talk of the town 

humanity’s strongest soldier finally found his flame???

the chatter and rumors spread like wildfire, both you and levi aren’t fans of being in the spotlight but nothing negative has been said so there’s no complaints so far

levi places a cup of tea in front of you, it’s a herbal kind because you’ve been complaining about a headache

today you’re explaining why you dislike the plot of beauty and the beast and how there’s so much wrong with it. from the weirdly toxic relationship to the power imbalance. levi stands listening attentively whilst waiting for you to take a sip of the tea

just as you’ve paused to take a large breathe and prepare yourself to continue explaining how unbearable that book is levi uses it as his chance to say what he’s been wanting to 

“drink up before it’s ice cold.”

following his instructions you interrupt yourself and take a gulp of the herbal tea

your eyes glimmer in approval. it tastes of strawberries and you’re delighted already feeling your mood slightly raise in response

“it’s GREAT?? what did you put in it?? it doesn’t even taste medicinal.” once again, you’re fawning over his tea

“so levi ackerman, what really is the secret to all these perfect cups of tea?”

and without a seconds hesitation he responds.

“i was making the tea for you. that’s the secret.”

it takes a while for the gravity of his words to sink it but when the meaning does you cup his face in your palms and peck him everywhere. he whines a little but you can tell he enjoys the attention

you find that you’re more than happy you’ve found a home in levi and his shop

and levi’s more than happy he’s found a home in you and your books

:-)

[kdramaxoxo]

Hi hi hi!! I'm back again. Thank you for the reply on my last ask. Like just tell me if I bother you but your rec lists are THE BEST and I trust your opinion. I'm watching our beloved summer and the side characters have a bit of a noona romance going on. So I wanted to ask do you know of any noona romances where the ml actually calls the fl noona. Kinda like in Reply 1988 too. (he doesn't actually have to call her noona but I just find it so cute)

Hi sweets!! SO happy you like my lists!

I love this ask tho I have to warn you that I have a terrible memory when it comes to fine details in dramas. Like, I know when I love a thing, and I know when I hate a thing, but I can literally forget most of the entire plot of a drama within months ;-)

Soooo my list is short simply because I can't remember! If anyone else can add to this list, feel free to comment! I should also add that this doesn't seem to happen in most noona romances I've watched. In order for it to make sense the couple would have to already have a shared past/friendship etc.

Noona Romances where the male lead calls the female lead "noona."

Pretty Noona Buys Me Food

I *think* Romance is a Bonus Book

I Hear Your Voice

Reply 1988

Happiness

Wait is that it? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[askderynsharp]

Hey! Do you mind talking about Deryn's brain and the way she thinks and stuff?  I love the way you analyze these characters. It's a lot of fun hearing what you have to say about them.  xoxo

GOD its been a million years! im so sorry im answering all your asks so late.

Dylan (im gonna be using he/him for this analysis) is a bit of a tricky one for me, ive mentioned before that im used to being alone with my thoughts about Dylan and get nervous interacting with the fandom because of that. I'm insecure about being too forceful or intolerant of other people's relationship with the work, so i prefer to talk about characters im less bonded to be safe. But the other side of that i havent touched on is how revealing my reading of dylan is. A lot of how i feel about dylan relates to how i feel about myself and the time of my life when i first read those books. There is. GARUNTEED. to be projection. especially about the gender stuff. I'm not sure if im like- a good authority on Dylan. So take everything i say with a grain of 'This particular character is difficult to analyze objectively due to his creative and emotional influence on the mod."

Part I - Relationships

While I think the most immediately relevant topic of Dylan's psyche has to do with his trauma, I believe there are subtle hints to the kinda person he is normally, and how that traumatic incident compounded on his 'natural' insecurities. Therefore, its not just going to be about the fire, but rather what I think of Dylan's overall psyche, the well and not so wellness of it.

Dylan is presented as a happy cheerful person with great empathy for his enemies and allies alike. He's cheerful, patient, and trusting to people regardless of their status and seems to judge people by how they act as people. There are four instances of Dylan genuinely disliking someone in the series, two of those could be attributed to Dylan worrying about Alek's relationship with them. The other two, Fitzroy and Volger, Dylan is shown to dislike because the other party expressed dislike first. We never see the first interaction between Dylan and Fitzroy, but Dylan muses that since arriving on the airship Fitzroy had been overtly hostile and implied that the two had gotten into a physical fight that Dylan lost. The more developed relationship we see is between Dylan and Volger, Dylan approaching Volger with a level of nervous respect until Volger makes it clear that he doesn't trust him. (Even then, it takes Volger disparaging him AND Alek for him discomfort to cross over into overt dislike.) Both of these characters think they're better than Dylan, one might presume that Dylan doesnt like how stuck up they are but I think what makes this interesting is how Dylan treats Alek when THEY first meet.

Dylan had a truly inexhaustible reserve of patience for Alek from the moment they meet, even in the depths of a life-or-death situation. He is friendly and cheerful to Alek, despite his behavior being really no different to how Dylan resented being treated by Fitzroy. Dylan cheerfully meets Alek's open insults with jokes and comebacks then doesnt think twice about consoling a boy who had been a dick to him for the entire 24 hours they've known each other. Dylan doesn't care if you're stuck up or rude to him, in fact he seems to think it's funny, so what DOES actually cause Dylan to start disliking people?

In the aftermath of The Fight Dylan seems the most fixated on the fact that Alek replaced him with Tesla, the stuff about him being a stuck up prince is just window dressing for the thing that actually bothered him: Rejection. A lot of time is spent solidifying that Dylan's only real fear is fire, but I'd argue that his fear of rejection plays a larger role in his arc. He doesn't tell Alek his identity, not because he's afraid of Alek thinking any less of him, but because he doesn't want to be rejected. He knows that there is no 'win state' to his secret getting out- even though Dylan seems hilariously certain Alek would fall in love with him, he knows that the rejection is inevitable due to their statuses.

“Deryn had imagined the look of horror on his face. Not that she was a girl in boy’s clothes, or that she’d lied to him for so long. All that yackum Alek would soon get past, she knew. And then he would love her, she knew.

But that was the problem, because there was one thing that would never change.… Deryn was a commoner.”

Dylan has an uncanny ability to predict how other people will react, this little snippet in Behemoth is exactly how it eventually plays out in Goliath. He kept the secret from Alek because he knew that Alek would fall in love with him, and Alek loving him would end their friendship altogether. And, once this rejection comes to fruition, Dylan's internal monologue complains about the same kind of thing that he previously hated in Volger and Fitzroy, even though it hadn't bothered him before. Beneath the status, the insults, the misogyny, or the overall rudeness, the only thing that really causes Dylan to become hostile is being rejected.

It is notable that Dylan dislikes Lilit at first because he is jealous of her, but the moment he realizes that she is in love with him and not Alek, those feelings vanish. Though he's hardly receptive to her flirting, he is definitely warmer to her once he realizes that she is accepting him. Noticeably, its not flattery that wins him over- she gave him plenty of that when he still disliked her, but rather her understanding of who and what he is and accepting him outright that causes his perspective of her to shift.

I feel like the combination of Dylan's fear of rejection, tendency towards jealousy, and cheerful disposition to everyone he meets paints a picture. Dylan has faced a lifetime of rejection: He's rejected from the air service for his sex assigned at birth, his passions rejected by his mother, and spends the entire series terrified of being rejected by his best friend. It's mentioned that his mother attempted to brow-beat him into becoming a girl and that he was able to resist, but that kind of parenting doesn't just go away when you realize your parent was wrong. Dylan had to work hard to be the true version of himself, so he doesnt want to waste time with people who will question that struggle and avoid interactions that could lead to rejection. But at the same time he wants to prove that work was worth it. Its not enough to be dylan, he's gotta be dylan the best midshipman the best friend to alek the best at flying and the best at any task he's given. So he's cheerful. Helpful. Empathetic to other people's problems and lets insults slide. He tries to see the best in everyone until they make it clear they dont like him, in which case he is eager to find any reason to dislike them back even if it's hypocritical.

Dylan's other motivation is his non-standard loyalty. While it never crosses into outright treason, even Dylan is quick to make jabs at his own inability to prioritize his country. But I think he does have a loyal streak, its just similar to how his dislike works. In stark contrast to Volger, things like honor, tradition, and status mean nothing to Dylan. You gain Dylan's loyalty by being friends with Dylan, full stop. He doesnt care about darwinism because its the superior science or philosophically righteous, he just feels a sense of pride in the fact that he's apart of the society that invented it. he doesn't care about the leviathan because its his king's airship, he cares about it because he sees the crew as family. Once alek becomes apart of that family in his mind, Dylan finds it troublingly easy to trust a kid who is, by all other metrics, a complete outsider on the Leviathan. I mentioned before that Dylan was pretty cool with Alek when he was doing everything in his power to insult Dylan during their introduction, but there was one moment where he did drop his friendliness:

“Well, if your ‘beasties’ are so wonderful, then how did the Germans shoot you down? With machines.”

Dylan gave him a dark look, pulling off a glove. His bare hand curled into a fist. “Ten to one, and all of them went down too. And I’ll bet they didn’t land as softly.”

Alek realized he’d said too much. Dylan probably knew crewmen who’d been wounded, or even killed, in the crash.

Like with how he would start hating Volger later, it wasnt enough for Alek to insult him or the philosophy of darwinism. He only got mad when the insult extended to his allies. He is fiercely loyal, perhaps to his own detriment, it just isnt the kind of loyalty that monarchistic europe in the 1900s could appreciate. In Dylan's mind, everyone is deserving of a modicum of respect, often regardless of how they treat him, but he will get hostile if he perceives that he is being rejected or his allies insulted.

Part II - Trauma

Now it might seem that im reaching or over-exaggerating a bit for that last section, but I want to make it clear that I think these are things that his personality and motivations drift towards, not hard fast rules that are disordered or compulsive. People are built a certain way, and thats the way I hypothesize Dylan is built. His trauma, however, I am going to be a bit more heavy-handed in analyzing because i think trauma is what turns some of those neutral personality traits into flaws.

First off is the fire, a pretty straightforward depiction of PTSD. Easily the most traumatic moment of Dylan's life, leaving behind a fear of fire and a twisted suspicion of somehow wanting to die in the same way.

Most stories with child characters involve the children getting traumatized. We dont really think about it, but its sorta vital to the conflict that something awful happens on the adventure. But I think the line where its drawn in disturbia is when the child character is specifically hurt by something they used to enjoy. Theres a reason so many creepypastas involve beloved childhood IPs. There's a reason clowns and toys are utilized in horror. If the child is looking forward to a circus and willingly enters the belly of the beast believing he is going to have fun, it makes the dread lurch in your stomach all the harder once the trap closes.

I think a lot of Dylan's trauma manifests in that transition between comfort and terror. A hot air balloon, the thing that was integral to Dylan's growth and representative of his bond with his father, is now a trigger for him. He has conflicted feelings about his desire to fly being suicidal. He wouldn't wish his trauma on anyone, yet as a soldier has to condemn strangers to the same fate every time the claxon rings. The Leviathan is his home, a place where he can be himself and do the thing he loves. But its also a war machine that forces him to lie to his new family and could go up in flames at any moment.

And then theres the other side of trauma, the slow and subtle kind. (Fair warning, this is where I start to project/speculate a little) We dont learn much about the two years Dylan spent with his mother before the first book, but the threat of going back to that situation hangs heavy over Dylan's chapters. Sometimes its petty and surface level, not wanting to fail or be stuffed back into skirts. But sometimes hints of something darker is referenced in passing- months where he apparently refused to eat or speak. Recurring nightmares that could only be soothed by staring all night at the medal. implies that, despite having a still living parent, he still feels like he's an orphan. Having never talked about what he saw during the accident until alek, not even to his brother or his mother or his aunts. Those years are described as 'impossible' and at one point in behemoth Dylan seems to contemplate's death as preferable to returning to them. We never know if it was just the result of lingering trauma or something that Dylan's family did, but whatever it was it was bad enough that Jaspart agreed to this insane plan just to get him out of Glasgow.

While there is more intensity to the scenes showing Dylan's fear of fire, I believe that slower and subtler trauma that accounts for the conflict in his arc. Some part of him was broken by what happened, a presumably natural aversion to being rejected turns into a fear of abandonment. The desire to impress and prove himself turns into avoiding his feelings vicious self-doubt.

We love what a show off dylan is, but I think its easy to understate the disdain in how often he refers to himself as 'common as dirt.' Alek never said that about him, not even Volger did. Dylan started referring to himself that way in his head on his own, and notably does it every time his feelings for Alek bubble to the surface. Dylan is afraid of ruining his friendship with Alek for his own sake, but part of him also feels like it would be selfish to deprive Alek of his only friend. Why should alek, whose whole world is on fire and has this whole destiny to worry about, have to deal with Dylan's problems on top of that?

This is ultimately what causes the fight- Alek is so used to seeing Dylan as this perfect soldier that he cannot comprehend that Dylan might have actually been ashamed or afraid to tell him his secret. It doesn't even occur to him that Dylan might be insecure, he assumes that it has to be, ironically, a rejection of Alek's confidence.

And thats why I feel like the sitation around the fire has more negative consequences than the fire itself. Hell- his trauma doesnt even stop him from acting heroically. It seems to fuel it further. His PTSD manifests as him rushing in to save Newkirk from the burning huxley. The part after is harder for him to process. That's when he starts to think about whether his need to fly is suicidal, when he wonders if he belongs here, and when his trust issues and insecurities become more pronounced. He knows as he's being triggered that it will effect him later, and somehow seems even more afraid of the nightmares coming back than the fire itself.

Part III - Identity

This is the bit I've been dreading talking about, because I think this one is the most colored by my own relationship with gender and experience with cross-dressing as a narrative conflict. I stand by there being genuine evidence of Dylan experiencing dysphoria and euphoria. I do think there is some thematic evidence for him cross-dressing for more reasons than wanting to fly. And as someone who read a lot of polly oliver books for presumably no reason at all, Dylan does stand out from the usual tropes in ways I find interesting.

Compare Dylan to characters like Alanna the Lioness or Jackie Faber.

Both of these characters shed their male personas the moment they no longer profit from them, Jackie by the end of the first book, then spend the vast majority of the series building their reputation as women in a male-dominated field. Alanna and Jackie like being girls, they sneak away from their male friends to get wear dresses and makeup in secret. The topic of gender only comes up either to disparage the patriarchy or to reclaim their femininity. A lot of time is spent contemplating the dissonance of their traditionally masculine skills and their desire to present as women. They find their own version of femininity that allows them to be themselves whilst doing what they love, and that should be celebrated. Femininity is not the enemy, it's not a corrosive force that ruins your life. It is possible to be a proud woman whilst disagreeing with feminine gender roles.

But that never comes up in Leviathan. At all.

Dylan never has a desire to reclaim his femininity, never feels an urge to dress up, and never feels conflicted about his wants as a woman and his career. The only attempt to present feminine is in costume, and only with the caveat that Alek, another boy, is presenting as feminine with him.

What conflict his gender DOES bring in the narrative looks like this:

“(Deryn) sighed. Might as well jump now, without a barking rope.”

“Don’t worry, lad,” the bosun said from beside her. “It’s never as far as it looks.”

She nodded, wishing that it was something piffling like a keelhaul drop that had her jittery. Gravity was something you could beat; all it took was hydrogen, hot air, or even a bit of rope. But being a girl was a miserable, never-ending struggle.”

That doesn't sound like someone who would sneak out at night to practice her makeup or secretly sew herself a dress to wear on a date with her boyfriend. That sounds like someone who would rather die than be outed, who describes his gender as a miserable never-ending struggle.

And I don't think its just that a man wrote this, Lilit serves as a fascinating foil to Dylan:

“Lilit wasn’t a bad sort, really. She was a dab hand with machines, as good at piloting as any of the men. In a way, she’d managed the same trick as Deryn had—acting like a man—without pretending, and that was a splendid sort of anarchy, one had to admit.”

Dylan appreciates femininity when Lilit is performing it, and isn't all that baffled to find Lilit being able to balance her ambition and womanhood. That leads me to believe that Dylan understands there are options for presenting as female whilst following his dreams. After all, his dad took him up in balloons back when he presented as female. Presumably, he just needed to find another mentor willing to teach a girl. He could have spent his inheritance (or presumably, insurance) on a replacement balloon and had Jaspart go up with him. This is even lampshaded in goliath, with alek trying to find out if there's anyone else like Dylan and realizing that its easier for women to just go on adventures than try to dress up as men:

“The thought of the heroine made (Alek) turn to Mr. Francis again. “Do women in America really fly about in balloons?”

“Well, they must want to! The Perils of Pauline is so popular that our competitors are getting in on the act, making something called The Hazards of Helen. And we’re already planning The Exploits of Elaine.”

“How . . . alliterative,” Alek said. “But outside of moving pictures, do women actually do these sorts of things?”

The man shrugged. “Sure, I suppose so. Ever heard of Bird Millman?”

“The high-wire walker? But she’s a circus performer.” Alek sighed. For that matter, Lilit had known how to use a body kite. But she was a revolutionary. “What I mean is, do normal women ever fly?”

Count Volger spoke up. “I think what Prince Aleksandar wants to ask is, do American women pretend to be men? It is currently a subject of intense study with him.”

Alek gave the wildcount a hard look, but Mr. Francis only laughed.

“Well, I don’t know about flying,” he said, “but we’ve sure got a lot of women wearing trousers these days. And I just read that one in twenty walker pilots is female!”

Its subtle, but the implication is that between Lilit, Dr. Barlow, and Adella Rogers, Dylan's choice wasnt entirely practical. Dylan chose the air service. he chose a disguise. And here's another interesting difference: We never see how Dylan made that choice.

In all other instances of the polly oliver trope, including ones that openly explore gender like Terry Pratchett's Monsterous Regiment, we always see a girl decide to become a boy and watch every step of her transformation.

Dylan, despite being introduced to us with female pronouns, is presented post transition. He has already cut his hair, chosen a new name, replaced his wardrobe, and made arrangements to sneak into the air service. We never learn what made him come up with this plan and why his brother agreed to risk his own career when easier legal options were also available.

The chapters in another Polly Oliver book spent with the heroine worriedly finding solutions to her secrets are spent with Dylan feeling the euphoria of passing as male. More time is spent with him describing how happy and fulfilled he is aboard the leviathan than the sparse mentions of how he maneuvers showering or taking a piss. The day to day discomfort of 'living a lie' is mentioned in passing but never elaborated on because Dylan's conflict has nothing to do with his gender.

It has to do with his relationships and his trauma. His gender only comes up in relation to his sexuality, and only then because he has a victorian's understanding of what sexuality is. He associates his feelings for alek as being girly but ultimately doesn't need to present as female to act on those feelings. He and Alek start a relationship with Alek attracted to his male persona. He only presents as female once their relationship is established, and even then Alek muses that Dylan doesnt look that different. He's a boy in a dress. A stylish and handsome boy in a dress, but its just the person Alek's dating wearing a particular piece of clothing.

And even though the bonus chapter isnt meant to be the narrative conclusion that Scott planned, I think there is some confirmation to be found for Dylan's arc.

“When she was dressed, Deryn gazed at her reflection in a darkened window. Her usual self stared back: female and fifteen. The careful tailoring only made her look queerly skinny, not so much a boy as some tattie bogle set out in old clothes to scare the crows.”

Dylan starts the series as a girl in her brother's clothes and ends the series as a boy in a dress.

And thats me vomiting all my Dylan opinions! I hope this was worth the read!

[rogue-durin-16]

FIREWORKS AND STREAMERS

Request: I have been insecure about my curly hair lately and was wondering if you can you write something with one of the weasley twins where the reader is insecure about her curly hair and one of the twins makes her feel better.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Hufflepuff!Reader

Genre: fluff

Tags:

Requested by: @wildcat1434

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: none

A/N: So like, incoming fluff bc this idea was cute and sometimes I do be needing fluff, that's about it, enjoy <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The relationship between me and my hair had always been... Bumpy, you could say.

There were periods in which I would find it quite lovely; during those times I would let my curls free, showing them off with a proud demeanor, knowing my hair was unique. Those times began to turn less and less usual since the middle of third year, though they were still there.

However, after the summer prior to my sixth year, those moments had banished; I only wished to hide my hair, and my friends ended up noticing. They told me surely there would be a spell or potion able to change my hair.

As if they had summoned it, the next day in Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall introduced us to what seemed like my salvation; Crinus Muto, an advanced spell that modified the caster's hair with no restrictions.

My best friend advised me against using it, claiming it wouldn't help my insecurity— if only, it would worsen it.

I really wanted to do as she had told me and completely dismiss the spell's existence, but two nights after I had a big mental breakdown about it, caused by the most stupid thing ever.

"Is Weasley staring at you or am I blind?" One of my friends whispered, her eyes trained on the Gryffindor table.

I didn't even bother to look up, not wanting to know whether it was true or not, before responding with a quiet "You're blind."

"I mean, it's hard to tell with two rows of students between us but," She nudged me, urging me to avert my gaze from my dinner and redirect it to Fred. "it kinda looks like he's... staring."

Curiosity killed the cat, I guess. My eyes finally left my plate and were, in fact, met with Fred's brown ones. As soon as they met, though, he looked away, pretending to be focused on his food, just like I had been doing seconds ago.

"Of course he's staring." Hannah Abbot, who sat right in front of my friend, commented with her mouth full. "Have you seen your hair?" She swallowed her food, looking me up and down before adding, "No offense, but it's an absolute mess." My eyes opened widely in shock at her bluntness. "You should take care of it, really."

"Has someone ever told you you're an ill-mannered bitch, Hannah?" I heard my friend talking back at the younger girl while I got up and started to make my way out of the Great Hall.

Of course, I didn't see Fred shooting up and attempting to go after me; ultimately he decided to stay in his place, since he saw my friend walking out too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was very aware of all the pair of eyes that had been laid on me the very moment I entered the greenhouse where we would be doing the Herbology tasks.

When I had met my friends at the Hufflepuff common room that morning, I had received divided opinions about my straight hair. At first I had been very convinced that it looked way better than my curly hair, but seeing my friends' reaction, I wasn't that confident about it anymore.

I didn't have time to undo the spell before class, so I decided to go along with it and see how the day unfolded.

I took a deep breath, my eyes trained on the ground as I made my way to an empty seat; maybe there weren't that many people staring, maybe it was just my anxiety.

I finally gathered the courage and looked up, nervously scanning the glasshouse so I could shake off my fears.

There was only a couple of my peers staring, which would have put me at ease, if one of them wasn't Fred Weasley.

On top of it, of course, he wasn't even trying to be subtle, it was almost as if he wanted me to notice his judging eyes; I could feel his gaze on me for the entire class.

The instant Professor Sprout dismissed us, I shoved everything in my bag and left the greenhouse, thanking a couple of Gryffindors who complimented my hair on my way out.

Again, I didn't notice Fred leaving the class as soon as he could to run after me.

I threw my bag against a tree near the lake shore and, as I fell against it, I heard someone jogging in my direction.

"In a hurry to sit by the lake, Y/l/n?" I followed the tall ginger with my eyes while he circled me and sat down by me. "You alright?"

"I just needed a break from... People." I vaguely explained, focusing on the water instead of on the boy besides me.

"Understandable." He hesitated for a second before adding, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, it's fine." I surprised myself at how calmed and collected I sounded, as if I wasn't chatting with my crush.

"What happened to your hair?" His genuinely curious inquiry took me aback, and I struggled to find something to answer.

"Why?" My heartbeat picked up, anxiety inundating me once more. "You don't like it?"

"It looks weird." Fred looked at me up and down with a grimace. "You don't... Look like yourself." I was about to enter fight or flight mode, but he seemed to notice, and panic made its way to his face. "But it doesn't matter what I think," he was quick to add, his eyes wide open as if he knew he had said something he should have not. "I mean— I think it shouldn't matter, if you like it, that's great— I mean, you don't need my opinion about that either!"

"Calm down, I understand." I tried to reassure him, before his rambling drove the both of us crazy. "Can I tell you a secret?" He nodded with pursed lips, surely afraid he would fuck up if he spoke again. "I've been very insecure about my hair lately— like, very." I sighed. "My best friend told me not to straighten it, but last night I got a not so nice comment and—"

"So that's why you left?" I nodded, tugging my sleeves. Fred went silent for a moment, and then cleared his throat and scooted closer to me. "I know this won't do much, but I really love your hair. Kinda reminds me of fireworks and streamers." He gestured around his own head, mimicking the fireworks' movement. "Dunno I think is fun and pretty awesome." I raised my brows at him in surprise. "Like you."

"Aw, that's very sweet." He offered me a sheepish smile as I felt my cheeks blushing. "It does a lot, actually." I confessed, fidgeting with my rings. "I guess I kinda needed to hear something positive about my hair."

"Well, whenever you need to hear something positive about your hair," he pointed at himself. "I'm your man." He winked at me and I let out a chuckle. "I can also tell you positive things about you in general, but that has a price."

"And what is it?"

"You'll have to let me buy you a drink at The Three Broomsticks this Saturday." I tried not to let panic slip through my recently eased demeanor; was he asking me on a date? "And give me a kiss after." He wiggled his brows at me and my face turned red. "the kiss is negotiable."

I casted my gaze down, fixing it on my shoes, not sure of what I was supposed to say at that. His foot tapping mine snapped me out of my thoughts.

"So?" My eyes traveled to him once more, only to find his studying me already. "What do you say, Y/l/n?"

"Well," I shrugged, trying in vain to play nonchalant. "Seems like an affordable price, so it's fine by me."

"I'll pick you up after lunch, yeah?" Before I could agree, he gasped, his eyes going wide. "I'm a genius."

"Come again?" I frowned, confused as his sudden frantic behavior.

"Don't mind me, love." He jumped up and jogged towards the castle, leaving me puzzled in there. I was about to grab a book from my bag when Fred rushed back, crouched down and pecked my cheek. "Your hair's amazing." He assured me. "See you!" My fingertips graced my now flushed cheek as he headed off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was finishing my lunch when two towering redheads entered the Hall running; while George, slowed down, Fred made a beeline to the Hufflepuff table, his casual clothes already on.

"Ready?" He asked breathless.

"Yeah— you didn't have lunch, did you?" I pointed out, getting up to stand in front of him.

"No, but I'll eat something later—" his eyes roamed over my carefully picked outfit before stating, "You look... very pretty."

"Why, thank you." I offered him a smile and looked over my shoulder at the Gryffindor table, where his friends were very attentive to all we did. "You sure you don't wanna eat something?"

"Hundred percent." He tilted his head towards the gates. "shall we?" He prompted to walk before him, and it was then that I realized he had his hands behind his back. Once we were out in the yard, he tugged my hand and made me turn to him. "I made something for you."

"You didn't have to." Was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard his words. Then the wording dawned on me; he didn't get me something, he made me something. "What is it?"

"So, you know that I told you your hair reminded me of fireworks and streamers?" I nodded, not quite knowing where he was going with that. "Well—" he then showed me what his back was hiding; a delicate, tiny firecracker with my name written on the side. "George helped me so I could finish it on time."

"I'm—" at my loss of words, I could only let out a happy laugh. "This is so cute— am I supposed to ignite it?"

"Duh!" I gently pushed his shoulder in response to his teasing. "Do you know how to do it?"

"I've seen you do it plenty of times." I admitted, grabbing the firecracker with one hand and my wand with the other; it looked so pretty, it was a pity I'd have to ruin it.

With a brief firemaking spell, the firecracker set off. Fred pulled me back slightly before it happened, though.

I was in awe at the beautiful fireworks before us, which looked like a color-changing, expanding version of my hair.

When the colors died out, I turned to Fred, whose attention was already on me, awaiting for a reaction. Surely, he was not expecting the kiss he got, but he didn't complain either; while my hands rested on his chest, his traveled to cup my cheeks before I could pull away.

"So you liked it?" He questioned quietly against my lips.

"I loved it." I whispered back with a wide smile. "You're a sweetheart." I pecked his lips before retreating. Holding his hand in mines, I made my way back into the castle. "We're not leaving until you have lunch."

"You are a sweetheart." He responded, following my lead without offering resistance. "By the way, your hair looks gorgeous." The corners of my lips twisted into a bigger smile at the sweet words he spoke only for me to hear as we went back into the Great Hall.

Maybe my hair wasn't that bad after all.