#I'm not sure what is going on here

[artthatgivesmefeelings]

Franz Caucig (Slovene, 1755–1828) Prvi čolnar, by 1810 National Gallery of Slovenia

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.

I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.

Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?

Jeeves

Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.

On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.

Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.

There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.

He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?

He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.

Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.

He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.

There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.

Bertie

Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.

In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.

He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.

I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).

I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.

When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.

[striving-artist]

Tumblr skews young, so let me just share this.

The worst thing you can do in a job is not be bad at something. It's to say you are great at something while being bad at something. If you need to improve and you're upfront that you're not the best, people will probably help or teach or explain. They will sympathize when you get put on a task you're not qualified for.

If you claim to be awesome at something when you demonstrably suck at it, all of that good will and sympathy is gone and it will not come back.

Confident is good. Stand up for yourself, know your skills.

But the other side of this is to Know your Faults.

This message brought to you by the 23yo who bragged about how he was great at X and had the best program for it, and I spent the weekend doing his job for him because he is so so bad at it, and only about 5% of what he did is salvageable.

[egophiliac]

saw the event announcement and had to immediately drop everything and get back to my favorite pasttime (drawing Lilia). sure don't want me saving up my keys, huh, do you Twst?

[demigod-of-the-agni]

The pishacha are manifestations of evil itself, locked within a cursed amulet. The wearer of the amulet is at the mercy of the demon, known for possessing humans and feeding off their host's chakra energy. However, if symbiosis is achieved, the pishacha can grant its host a myriad of powerful abilities.

I just needed to draw something cool okay. I needed to draw some cool goop and some cool looks okay. okay. if I didn't post this I would have exploded okay

[pyotrkochetkov]

Mat Barzal in Ethan Bear's wedding video

[potionpeddlerpatchy]

Crowned Prince Shouto who is so very much in love with you, even if it did take a while to come around after the arranged marriage occurred.

Crowned Prince Shouto whose brow creases and eyes twitch every time people in high court mock how plain you are under hushed breaths.

Crowned Prince Shouto who gets absolutely sloshed at a royal banquet to try and drown his anger when he hears a rumor going around that his marriage is unconsummated due to finding you so repulsive before storming off to find you.

Royal Advisor Izuku who rushes off to try and follow, only to hear a shriek coming from your room. When scrambling to investigate if you're okay he finds his master on his knees absolutely devouring your cunt while your receiving chamber door remains open a crack.

[jarchaeology]

[shimmershy]

Chara Week Day 5: Ghost

Every time I see that machine in the True Lab, I wonder if it could possibly be Chara's soul in there? Probably unlikely, but not impossible... It's interesting to think about what the implications of that would be.

A version with no text and then a version with just the machine, because I think it looks pretty cool and ominous alone as well.....

[svnqsn]

𝑵𝑼𝑴𝑩𝑬𝑹 𝑶𝑵𝑬

☆. # SHIP — itoshi sae, gn!reader.

☆. # SYNOPSIS — you'd never thought you'd ever sit in the family box in a massive soccer stadium in spain while it's pouring rain, but here you are.

☆. # WARNINGS — none??? sae also calls reader pretty once. fuck off my blog if you think that these adjectives are gendered.

— you asked sae to teach you a little about the rules of soccer before he takes you to the stadium to see him play

— his answer was “you don't need to know the rules. your only job is to sit there, look pretty f'me and watch me win.”

— (not that this man needs one but) having you in the audience gives him the biggest ego boost ever

— immediately hands you his jacket when you two get out of the car and it's pouring rain—he'll be out on the field getting wet either way, at least one of you should be dry and warm

you two step outside after the driver drops you off at the stadium and it's pouring. the rain is heavy and doesn't look like it'll stop anytime soon, if the big, dark clouds in the sky are anything to go by. and because you're in spain, you're didn't bring a jacket and you're standing there in a t-shirt.

you look up at the sky, when suddenly something warm and heavy is placed around your shoulders. you turn and see sae standing next to you, wrapping you in his jacket.

“here,” he says and pulls the hood over your head.

— he won't have time to walk you to the box off the side of the field that's reserved for family members, but he'll definitely have someone escort you there

— as if itoshi sae's partner would ever have to walk through a sea of people by themselves. that's a no go, especially because soccer games can get a little rowdy

— you're honestly shocked at how massive the stadium is. sure, you've seen it on tv and videos, but seeing it in real life is something else entirely

— once you're seated in the little booth on the side of the field, you pull sae's jacket tighter around your body and hide your face in the collar of it

— you watch as the players jog out, clutch the necklace with his jersey number in your fist and give it a little kiss

his eyes find you easily during the game. he doesn't look at you often during it, but whenever he does, his eyes seem to say “you only need to look at me.”

— honestly, the game goes as both sae and you had already expected: sae's team wins with 5:3 and sae makes the last goal

he definitely looks at you after he scores the final goal. his eyes immediately search for you and he looks over to see if you were watching him. you definitely were. he doesn't do anything, but a smirk lights up his face a little.

he feels so good when he sees you standing there, cheering for him. it's the only form of acknowledgment he really needs. he doesn't care for his teammates that come over to give him a slap on the back and he skill fully avoids a few side hugs, but his eyes stay focused on your face.

— i feel like he isn't the type to run up to you after a won game or anything like that. he wins all the time so he doesn't rlly see it as a special enough occasion to do anything like that?? like. he never expects to lose so,,, yk he doesn't see why he should make a big show out of it.

— but when you're both at home, you tell him how cool he was and how good and sae acts like it isn't a big deal

— goes on to say stuff like “it was obvious that i would win.” but inside his ego grows so much when you say stuff like that

— aka don't do it too much. he already has a big enough head tbh /jk

[lgbtlunaverse]

Nie Mingjue is the opposite of a man trying to escape the narrative. He's constantly being pushed OUT of the narrative and yet he keeps coming back in. He's a corpse before the story even starts he was a minor blip in the mc's life he should NOT be this deep in the narrative and yet there he is. Jgy literally killed him in his efforts to get out of the narrative himself and then nmj was like Fuck You (haunts you thereby trapping you both in the narrative forever) his brother's need for vengeance for his death is the reason the plot even exists he's so inside of the narrative he basically becomes it.

[coquelicoq]

what i like especially about the pronouns in the goblin emperor is that this language doesn't just have the T-V distinction (aka informal vs. formal second-person pronouns, in this case 'thou' vs. 'you'), it also has informal and formal first-person pronouns. having BOTH of these distinctions in the same language lets you fine-tune your tone by mixing and matching. with only one axis of formality, when you use informal pronouns, are you being familiar in an intimate way, or in an insolent or dismissive way? when you use formal pronouns, are you being polite or standoffish? you can't tell just from the pronouns; there's ambiguity. but a language where you can use a formal first-person pronoun in the same sentence as an informal second-person pronoun allows you to distance yourself (via the formal first) while also being familiar (via the informal second), thereby achieving the conversational tenor known to linguists as Fuck Thee Specifically.

[starrysharks]

hotel manager

[goldenpinof]

how the night changes, or something

[quentinfiletmignon]

DAVID TENNANT as CROWLEY, a demon who deserved better an angel who did not so much fall as saunter vaguely downwards

A4 • STABILO point 88 liners

[fazedlight]

Glance (fluff-ish ficlet set in season 6)

She knows.

Kara rushed her way to the Tower, ignoring the beeps from her phone, no doubt Alex wondering what the hell Kara meant by “Nyxly might go after Lena”.

Kara knew she might’ve given too much away, at the gallery downtown. Nyxly had seemed to sense that Lena was the most vulnerable - the newest superfriend, the one with newfound powers - and her brief glance at the brunette had caused anger to flare along Kara’s neck. Kara had instinctively tilted her head in warning. You’re not touching Lena.

Nyxly adapted quickly, attempting to make her escape by activating the Courage totem itself, before Kara split the totem in half and Nyxly disappeared. At the time, Kara had shrugged the moment off - a brief moment in battle that Nyxly would soon forget, probably entirely unaware of the emotions driving it.

As the city descended into chaos, Kara had let her piece of the Courage totem go - it was the only way to restore the sanity of her team, the only way to give them a chance at future totems. Lose the battle, win the war. It was only after that the ramifications of that choice would become clear. Somehow, in the merging of the two halves of the broken totem, a psychic bond was formed. Kara could now feel what Nyxly felt - the imp felt triumphant, vengeful. And Kara knew that she couldn’t stop the streams of her own feelings from seeping into Nyxly’s consciousness.

Nyxly knows.

Kara felt the panic well up in her throat, as she landed at the Tower’s balcony, as she traced Lena’s heartbeat back to the lab. The torrent of panic ripped through her - can I protect her, will our relationship survive this? - as she made her way back to the lab. “We need to talk,” Kara said, as she walked through the door. 

“Are you okay?” Lena asked, turning around, placing a glass beaker back down on the lab bench, stepping towards the kryptonian.

Kara knew her body was tense, that Lena could read the stress on her face, and it wasn’t a question worth answering. “Nyxly knows how I feel.”

“Knows… how you feel,” Lena said, not quite yet catching on.

“She knows how I feel about you,” Kara said, eyes darting between Lena and the floor as she failed to hide the guilt on her face. “Or if she doesn’t, she’ll figure it out soon.”

“How you feel about me?” Lena replied, her voice soft and tentative.

Kara’s eyes dropped to the floor, worrying her lip for a moment before glancing back up. “I love you, Lena,” she rushed, her voice cracking. “And Nyxly will know, we need to figure out how to keep you out of danger-”

“My life has always been in danger, Kara,” Lena whispered.

Kara hesitated. 

“The Venture crash. The helicopter crash. Morgan Edge,” Lena said, stepping closer with every memory. “Mercy Graves. Beth Breen. Rhea. Eve. Reign. The end of the multiverse. I suppose we’ll add a 5th dimensional imp to the list…”

“Lena-”

“We all die, Kara,” Lena said, as she finally stood directly in front of the kryptonian. “That’s not the part that scares me.”

“What does scare you?” Kara asked.

“Losing you,” Lena said, reaching her hand up to brush stray hair behind Kara’s ear, before cupping her cheek. “Being a universe away from where you’re trapped. Not knowing if I would ever see you again. Not knowing if I can ever tell you how I feel. Not knowing if that would destroy this friendship.”

“How you feel?” Kara said quietly, the hope dawning inside her.

Kara watched as Lena smiled, the brunette tilting her head to the side, tugging gently at Kara’s neck. And with the realization of what she sought, Kara could only happily oblige, dipping her head downwards as Lena brushed her lips gently against Kara’s own.

Kara slid her arms around Lena’s waist, whimpering as Lena’s lips parted, allowing Kara to deepen the kiss. She could feel Lena’s warmth, hear the heartbeat pounding in Lena’s chest in time with her own, feel as Lena’s other hand made its way around the back of Kara’s neck to tug her closer. For those few moments, the world was lost to them - a fulfillment of years of ache, a beginning where they thought there would only be endings.

“I love you too,” Lena finally said as they parted, leaning her forehead against Kara’s. “Whatever comes next, I just want to face it with you. Together.”

Kara smiled. “Together.”