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#I'm so conflicted with you two
satanhelpusall · 1 year
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bixels · 4 months
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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An analysis of Alhaitham's egoism in relation to Kaveh
(Update: The essay this is taken from is now uploaded! It can be accessed here and here as as a pdf <3)
Max Stirner's anarchist egoism is speculated to be the basis of Alhaitham's personal egoism, therefore I will be drawing upon Stirner's 'The Unique and Its Property' for this analysis.
Property and power are key principles within this philosophy. The egoist recognises himself as an individual, separate from the general collective of “humanity”, in which concepts such as freedom and property are governed to and over the people, for then the individual is not considered as such, rather they are a part of “humanity”, rather than a whole individual (Stirner, 170). This thinking is demonstrated within Alhaitham’s Story Quest, where he dismantles Siraj’s Hivemind by targeting individuals that compromised the Hive and reminding them of their own beliefs and preferences – the individual in themselves is a whole, and is not a “part” of a system (Stirner, 170).
In this, the egoist governs himself by what he owns and what he wants to own: “ownness is my whole essence and existence, it is myself. I am free from what I am rid of, owner of what I have in my power, what I control. I am at all times and under every circumstance my own”(Stirner, 106). This relates to the concept of freedom, which, for an egoist exists according to having the power to be free of something, for example, being freed of hunger, thirst, or societal expectations (Stirner, 105). This is reflected within Alhaitham’s description: “He lives free – free from the searching eyes of ordinary people,” but also extends to the power to own.
As power is considered something which the egoist owns, property then becomes something which the egoist exerts power over, and in this, can property be made use of by the egoist – all the while, the property remains an independent vessel (Stirner, 162). This is seen within Alhaitham’s view on his vision, in that it is “no more than a useful tool”, as it can be used to serve his own needs, and that since it in his possession, he has obtained it with his own power, it makes no difference to check on it as he continues to retain that power.
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In this sense then, Alhaitham has constructed his life around this form of egoism, in that anything he wants, he has, such as his job as the Scribe, his house, the interests he pursues, the people he enjoys. In order to maintain this way of life, he will deal with, or be rid of, anything he deems as "harmful".
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With this, the egoist seeks satisfaction in themselves through the satisfaction of another. Ownership, in relation to another person, can become love, which like all things the egoist has power over, is ultimately theirs – as in their love for a person (Stirner, 187), which is given willingly by the egoist, for loving a person is done for the satisfaction that love brings: “But I love them with the awareness of egoism; I love them because love makes me happy, I love because love is natural to me, it pleases me,” (186).
In loving another comes sacrifice, which the egoist can give into without compromising himself, as he himself sets the “purchase price of [his love]” (187) according to the happiness attributed to the loved one, as in return, the egoist shall also receive happiness (186). To enjoy someone, in an egoist fashion, is to be able to sacrifice all possessions and ownerships without foregoing the sense of an individual, of “ownness”, as the egoist would then lose his objectivity:
“I can deny myself countless things to heighten his pleasure, and I can risk for him what would be dearest to me without him, my life, my welfare, my freedom. Indeed, it forms my pleasure and happiness to feast on his pleasure and happiness. But me, myself I do not sacrifice to him, but rather remain an egoist and—enjoy him. If I sacrifice to him everything I would keep without my love for him, that is very easy… But if I sacrifice others to one passion, I still do not…  sacrifice my particular worth, my ownness. Where this nasty incident occurs, love looks no better than any other passion that I blindly obey.” – The Unique and Its Property, 185
It is relevant to note that just as the egoist receives happiness from a loved one’s pleasure, so does an egoist suffer from a loved one’s despair. Just as the egoist would sacrifice something of their own to provide happiness for a loved one in order to exact their own happiness, so too would an egoist sacrifice something, or act, to eradicate the root problem of a loved one’s misery, as this, in turn, would then resolve their own misery:
“If I see the beloved suffering, I suffer with him, and I find no rest until I’ve tried everything to comfort and cheer him…. It doesn’t follow from this that the same thing causes suffering… his tooth gives him pain, but his pain gives me pain. But because I cannot bear the sorrowful crease on the beloved forehead, therefore, then for my sake, I kiss it away. If I didn’t love this person, he could go right on creasing his forehead, that wouldn’t trouble me; I’m only driving away my troubles. – The Unique and Its Property, 186
The phrasing of “driving away… troubles” is particular to note here, due to similar usages of language used within Alhaitham’s Character Stories, in relation to him acting in accordance with his self-governed rules and serving his own self-interest by: “[acting] on his own will and deals with anything that appears harmful in his eyes”.
Kaveh, however, interprets Alhaitham’s egoism as a detached, pragmatic view of humanity, in which the individual isolates themselves not only as a means of prioritisation, but by elevating oneself over others by refusal to intermingle and to cooperate for the benefit of others. Not only is this a harmful opposition to Kaveh’s view of individuals sharing their knowledge and talent in order to pursue a better society, but due to Kaveh’s experience of Alhaitham’s personal egoism, it is harmful to Kaveh personally. Kaveh refuses to prioritise himself over others because he has seen a negative consequence of egoism, in which he has been “cut to the quick” and it has ended one of the few stable relationships in his life.
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By Kaveh seeing Alhaitham’s comment about his altruism as malicious, Alhaitham has elevated himself over Kaveh, since Alhaitham does not have the same struggles as him, and has trivialised Kaveh’s trauma. To Kaveh, Alhaitham’s prioritisation of the self actively harms others as it desensitises the self to the emotions of others. Therefore, Kaveh opposes the egoism which Alhaitham advocates for, since he interprets it through his own lived experience. Hence, by Alhaitham asserting egoism over Kaveh as a means of Kaveh prioritising himself, it only reinforces Kaveh to strive to consider the feelings of others, as well as to not prioritise his own way of thinking if it undermines someone else’s.
In actuality, Alhaitham’s frustrations with Kaveh lie in his belief that Kaveh’s talents are incongruous with his values, and that if Kaveh were to prioritise himself, he would save himself suffering and enable himself to discover his “true self”, unrestricted by others placing labels onto him.
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This is a personal frustration which Alhaitham would not compromise himself to assert onto a person he was indifferent to, due to his belief of not getting involved with other’s fates. However, he has been observed to ‘subvert’ his own rules to accommodate Kaveh. Through egoism, it can be seen that rather than ‘subverting’ these rules, Alhaitham adheres to them as an egoist, since he sees Kaveh as his mirror, they offer each other a contrasting perspective he believes they need to have a complete, objective vision of the world.
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This is necessary for Alhaitham to consider within his own life, and therefore has extended his house to Kaveh, in order to expand his scope of thinking, and to consider perspectives he otherwise would not entertain. Kaveh’s ideals, his beliefs, and his philosophies explicitly interest Alhaitham, in contradiction with Kaveh believing that Alhaitham is disdainful of his perspectives.
In this way, Alhaitham enjoys Kaveh. He willingly pays for some of Kaveh’s tabs; pays for crates of wine for the two of them; and goes out of his way to pursue interactions with Kaveh. Just as Alhaitham is to Kaveh, Kaveh is an old friend, as unchanged in his beliefs as he was in the past and thus is a constant: “the most unshakable part of one's past is a friend that will never change”’.
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Alhaitham strives to act in accordance to his own egoism and therefore assesses what “appears harmful” to him, in relation to these rules, so as to be rid of them. This can be extended to Kaveh, as Kaveh falls under what ‘belongs’ to Alhaitham, in the sense that ownership equates to Alhaitham’s enjoyment.
Alhaitham wants to have Kaveh in his life due to the alternate perspective which Kaveh offers him, thus expanding his horizons and granting him knowledge he otherwise would not obtain. As well as this, Kaveh is seen to be considered part of Alhaitham’s way of life that he wants to protect. In line with Stirner’s egoism, it follows that as Alhaitham enjoys Kaveh, as in, ‘owns’ the contentment Kaveh elicits, he therefore is affected by Kaveh’s self-inflicted grievances. Therefore, Alhaitham sees Kaveh’s altruism at the expense of his own wellbeing as something “harmful” to be dealt with, as this not only causes Kaveh inward misery, but also detriments Kaveh finding his “true self” (Alhaitham Character Story 3), which the egoist pursues above all else.
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occidentaltourist · 9 months
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bbc: Some sweet #Silvacre content for your FYP ❤️
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svtskneecaps · 7 months
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FRIENDS I HAVE BEEN PLAYING WITH SOME OF THE QSMP MODS AND I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH
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BEHOLD THESE THREE PARTICULAR BLOCKS FROM THE FRAMEDBLOCKS MOD!!!!! FROM LEFT TO RIGHT, THE "FRAMED SECRET STORAGE", THE "FRAMED DOOR", AND THE "FRAMED ONE-WAY WINDOW"
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FRAMED SECRET STORAGE, A BLOCK WITH SOME STORAGE THAT CAN BE CAMOUFLAGED TO LOOK LIKE WHATEVER BLOCK YOU DESIRE!!!! WANT TO BUILD YOUR WHOLE HOUSE OUT OF CHESTS AND STILL MAINTAIN AESTHETIC?? GO FOR IT!! HAVE SECRET CONTRABAND BUT NEED EASY ACCESS? HIDE IT RIGHT IN YOUR WALLS!!!
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THE FRAMED DOOR, ABLE TO BE CUSTOMIZED TO LOOK LIKE A WALL!! THE TOP AND BOTTOM CAN BE ASSIGNED BLOCKS INDEPENDENTLY!!
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SECRET TUNNEL!!!!!!!!!
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THE FRAMED ONE-WAY WINDOW!! ANY ONE SIDE OF THIS BLOCK CAN BE MADE TRANSPARENT, INCLUDING THE TOP AND BOTTOM!!! the transparency can also be REMOVED, so if your friend forgets to look at the name of the block their crosshair is on, YOU CAN TOTALLY PRETEND IT'S A TOTALLY NORMAL SOLID BLOCK AND ADD THE TRANSPARENCY ONLY WHEN NECESSARY >:D
NEEDLESS TO SAY, I AM SO EXCITED FOR WHEN THE PARANOID MEMBERS WITH MANY SECRETS AND MANY THINGS TO HIDE DISCOVER THESE BLOCKS HEHEHEHEHEHE. AS SOMEONE WHO LOVES AND CHAMPIONS ESPIONAGE THIS CONSTITUTES AN ABSOLUTE WIN
#qsmp#I LOVE ESPIONAGE I LOVE SECRETS I LOVE HIDDEN PASSAGES#HOHOHOHOEHOEHOEHOEHOHEHOE#reading through the mod notes apparently if you use phantom membrane on a block it allows you to walk through it like ghost blocks#how FUCKIGN DOPE IS THAT#THIS MAKES ME SO FUCKIGN EXCITED LIKE ACTUALLY I LOVE ESPIONAGE AND SECRETS AND HIDEY HOLES SO MUCH#if mr badboy 'paranoia incarnate' halo stops being deceased i hope he discovers these blocks bc he'd go CRAZY#cellbit would also like DAMN like DAMN#imagine if he'd been able to conceal the security door in the fear room behind a door that looked the same as the wall#jaiden being able to see through the fog using the waterframes couldn't have revealed the door >:D#this is so COOL this is so DOPE i'm in tears i love espionage i hope someone finds these blocks soon#also don't mind that you can't see my hand in any of the screenshots i found a scarf that gives me invisibility#WHICH IS ALSO FUCKING DOPE#the artifacts mod is actually so OP like genuinely#i have bunny slippers that make me jump the height of three fences and take 0 fall damage (i make bunny noises when i'm hit too >:D)#i have a snorkel that gives me 15 seconds of water breathing every time i surface for air#i have night vision goggles AND i have a CLOUD IN A JAR that gives me a DOUBLE JUMP so combine that with the bunny slippers and :DDDDD#and NONE OF THESE have durability and i can have them on AT ALL TIMES unless they conflict in slots ofc like no two in the head slot or smt#tho this is assuming that i downloaded the correct mod (i would have grabbed it from seeing it in a tooltip on a stream so jury's out)#(i don't remember what stream either lmao)#but yeah assuming these items exist on the server they're so fucking cool; i'm assuming they'll pop up in a shop later#since i haven't seen people find many yet#anyway not to be a fucking nerd or anything lmfao just got a lil excited#long tags#shut up vic#block game brainrot
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rapha-reads · 10 days
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Theoretically, I knew organising funerals was a big, complicated thing. As reality is, I would very much like to run away screaming into a dark forest.
Edit: i'm a bit tipsy and the tags are full of typos. Don't pay attention.
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irenespring · 14 days
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Time for one of my favorite TV traditions, "watch the new episodes of Selling Sunset and argue with the screen like the people can hear me."
#selling sunset#season 8#selling sunset season 8#team chrishell#seriously Chrishell has had to deal with so much nonsense since coming out#people complain that she's too dramatic or messy since season 6 (when she came out)#but to me it always seemed like a combo of her partner teaching her about work-life boundaries#and suddenly having to deal with masses of homophobes after being outed VERY publicly#(including Nicole in that “masses of homophobes” statement)#because seriously if Nicole wants to drop the whole “thank you” homophobic comment debacle she should apologize for BEING HOMOPHOBIC#she's acting like Chrishell is the problem for just not letting it go when she hasn't done shit besides say it was a mistake#why is it a mistake#Say the words “I'm sorry I was homophobic it won't happen again”#And honestly I would be WAY more mad at Amanza for the designer situation#Chrishell was being very charitable#Also Chelsea is also going through it this season#What is Mary's deal?#Like they all dress in approximately two square inches of fabric per scene (sorry---*event*)#but randomly now you have a problem?#Mary has always had zero conflict skills but hiding behind her husband was a Choice#it's giving racism to me#but yeah team Chrishell forever#Nicole drives me batshit insane#and I'm team Chelsea too this season (though I didn't like how in s6 she was so judgmental to Bre with no provocation)#The show seems to be trying to do a “the professionals” vs the “party girls” angle with Nicole + Mary vs. Chelsea + Emma + Chrishell#which I find kind of gross because it's shaming the big 3 for doing what the show is about with no reason behind it#they're on the “have fun and flirt with each other while wearing revealing clothes and maybe do some real estate on the side” show#so really THEY are the professionals because they're the ones who actually understand their jobs
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the-lark-ascending69 · 3 months
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Lumity is very cute but it seems like the kind of ship that would have a fandom so toxic it'd make you dislike the ship in time and I think that's sad.
#possibly because it's so ''pure'' like#the spiciest thing that happened between them was Amity being rude for like 1/3 of s1 maybe?#and a lot of baby puritans online like to cling to these ''unproblematic'' ships to feel super morally superior and whatnot#tbh while watching toh I was thinking ''mmmm how could a fanfic make lumity MORE dramatic? what situations could make them WORSE''#my conclussion is that more internalized homophobia would really make it shine#for me specifically. to appeal to my own personal tastes#tbh the lack of conflict became a bit boring after a while like there were times i wanted amity to throw luz out the window#that girl is a compulsive liar she can't ever say things straight even when there's no reason to lie 😭 and i love flawed characters#and i understand amity being tremendously loving and forgiving and understanding is a valid character trait#but like girl 😭 not even one fight? i wouldn't have that patience 😭😭😭 sometimes fights are good#i see so many people celebrating it's ''healthiness'' (if that's a word) and i just feel like. is that what appeals to you?#is that what you find fun and exciting? is that what keeps you at the edge of your seat?#personally i need amity to get psychologically abused by her mom soooo bad it destroys her relationship with luz. like with willow but worse#MORE misunderstandings MORE heartbreak MORE abuse MORE drama#and if you could add some self-loathing and SHAME there it'd be beautiful#i'm not talking about the show. the show is fine. i'm talking about the fanfic i'm gonna spend the next two hours looking for on ao3#btw this is just me talking about my personal tastes and everyone is allowed to like whatever they like. if you like less drama that's cool#like i don't know you and my opinions on your tastes are actually zero
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brittlebutch · 5 months
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finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it
#N posts stuff#like don't get it wrong it Is Not a series about being autistic it Is a series about raising an autistic kid#but also don't be put off by that because it's legitimately a series that I feel Loves autistic people with its whole being#it's kind of a teaching manga so it showcases a lot of different opinions/characters/conflicts/etc. but the Framing is very consistent#in that the manga is Extremely of the opinion that autistic people are People who deserve to be Valued and Accepted As They Are#the onus for change is never put on autistic individuals the framing is basically Universal in the 'the World needs to change#to be more accepting' -- it's a very Social Model depiction of autism that ALSO never veers too far into the#'autism isn't even Really a disability' fallacy; it's very much a 'A lot of autistic people will need constant support in a variety of ways#throughout their lives but that isn't the roadblock preventing them from having their own lives; ableism in society is the roadblock'#the first two chapters are the hardest to get through bc they take place before Sachiko has any real understanding of autism and#so she's isolated and stressed out and the ignorance makes it difficult for her to care for Hikaru properly (there's also a lot of#other characters Blaming her for what's going on which goes unchallenged at this point though that changes later); but after she#understands what autism is she's Firmly in Hikaru's corner for the rest of the series - you can skip right to ch 3 without a problem#if you're not interested in reading about that initial conflict#there's still a Lot of conflict ofc but by then the chapters have some of my favorite moments so i don't want to advocate skipping#them; like Hikaru's daycare teacher explaining how Hikaru's difficulty speaking is the same as other kids' troubles with#things like jump-roping/etc.; and then a mother who has An Issue with Hikaru's presence in her daughter's class realizing the#depth of the problematic opinion bc Her mother (who had a stroke) faces similar ableism from her peers#i'm cutting this post off b4 the tags get Too long but if you're curious but still hesitant man. send me an ask and i will Happily#write an insanely long essay about how much i love this series; i have all the books i'm not excited about the online availability#for Me i'm excited bc i've been wanting to rec this manga for like almost a full decade and i can finally give you a link instead of#saying 'well. you can find used copies sometimes' lol
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giantkillerjack · 2 months
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Anastasia the Musical sucks so bad. They really said "We're gonna cut the best song from the movie - just axe the absolute banger that is 'In the Dark of the Night' - because we are being SERIOUS and GROWN-UP now. We are A Big Historical Realism Musical Now. This is FOR REAL, okay!? We don't have a SILLY villain like Rasputin! We have Gleb! [Please Just Clap.] We are HISTORICALLY GROUNDED. -- Anyway, here's a musical unironically glorifying the Russian monarchy~~ 💖😌💖😌💖😌💖"
#anastasia#anastasia musical#Anastasia movie#anastasia the musical#that said everything added in relation to Sophie and Vlad was 👌👌👌 chef's kiss#to add insult to injury they use the tune from in the dark of the night in a solemn dirge about the pain of having to leave one's country#I'm not actually against adding more historical realism into Anastasia but you have to give the monarchy that treatment as well#if you want to actually reckon with the oppressive regime of Russia in that time period you can't give a free pass to the monarchy#they're like completely uninterested in why the revolution happened and everything in relation to the royal family is#this glittering nostalgic shallow thing. which also describes the original but that at least had a campy magical historical fiction angle#that made suspending disbelief pretty easy. also how dare you add more ballads i mean for fuck's sake#I don't care if Anya and Dimitri saw each other TWO times as children instead of one! i don't care! i don't need a 6 minute song about it!#he's like 🎵 i saw you in a parade once. gosh the monarchy sure had some pretty parades and beautiful spectacle 🎵#and she's like 🎵 omg i remember you that's crazy i sure did love being a part of the family of the Czar 🎵#if you're going to add an introspective song maybe have Anastasia reckon with how her father was a great father and a violent ruler!#maybe address the inherent emotional conflict of grieving genuine trauma and also recognizing the fault of the ruling class.#i have memories of rewinding the movie just for a second or third viewing of 'in the dark of the night'#memories of jamming out to it in the car with my friends. then clicking skip 100+ times on my friend's ipod shuffle just to play it again#original#been a while since I saw the musical but I still get mad about this sometimes. half-assed ''Realism'' means less fun and more glaring flaws#please just clap#it's not like there's nothing there to develop it's just that they did it bad. I'm fine with adding a sad song about leaving home but ffs#also why not make Gleb a campy weirdo? he's SO. BORING. at least fuck up in an entertaining way.
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airenyah · 2 years
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if i had a nickle for every time ohm pawat kissed his love interest, then asked them if they hated him and they responded no it's just anger, they don't hate him... i'd have two nickles. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
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menstits · 9 months
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Still thinking about the anon from yesterday and the more i think about it the more mad i get like you're insane for calling kaeya mid i hope you blow up. Bitching in the tags ft arguments my smart sexy boyfriend brought up yesterday while we were talking about this so credit where credit is due
#🗨️#LIKE.#kaeya-diluc brotherly issues are interesting because kaeya is by far the most interesting character in the game sorry#like. genuinely i wanna know what they meant by the two of them having a “trope that's been handled better by other media”#because their deal is not just ougj brothers fighting#it's specifically about kaeya being adopted and about his conflict with belonging to a nation and a community and a family#and his loyalty to his duty and his birth family vs his loyalty to the city and family who took him#the only thing i could think of that has handled similar themes better is the untamed but that's literally a show based on a novel#so i feel like comparing them is a bit unfair#like ofc i know there's sibling drama out there 🙄 but that's not why kaeya brotherly issues are interesting#there's his dynamic with diluc his dynamic with crepus AND diluc's dynamic with crepus too#other than kaeya'#s whole thing with his birth father#idk. kaeya haters need to die a thousand deaths#i am Not articulate enough rn I'm still dying from back pain but you get me. you agree. if you don't you can fall over snd exlode#like there's a specific power dynamic at play in regards to the adopted child survivor of a fallen nation being rejected for that fact by#his adopted brother. on the night of their father's death. like yes i know diluc is stupid yes i know they still love each other as brother#even if their relationship is tense i know it's set up for eventual reconciliation#but just kaeya's whole deal IS about family. in general.#a bunch of characters' deals are about family in general like i could start listing them and it wouldn't end it's just like kaeyaaaaa#kaeya. is the guy of all time
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xxmarvelouslifexx · 2 months
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Entering my Fulvia era, please send help I'm actually so bad at this I'm a terrible liar.
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blackjack-15 · 9 months
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I KNEW NAT WAS PREGNANT i did not know she knew she was but i knew it!
RICHIE NO HONEY
"is that it?" *boink* "yeah" the bear is a comedy. full stop.
ebra you can do it baby i believe in you and i love you
and carmy's still cooking, still working. him and ebra.
oh syd's mum isn't there. she's not there is she she's dead or she's left or something
that was an Adorable story and i wanna see Syd imitate her mum who is definitely dead
oh candles. yeah. so why did she talk about her in the present tense to marcus? hiding it? hiding means there's prolly some trauma, and her mum wouldn't have been that old if she was the same age as her dad (he said they were both twenty when they started dating) so i'm gonna say sickness. might have been sudden, might have been prolonged, but sickness took her is my guess
"carm?" oh. i think i know who thiiiiiis issss
"claire. hi." yes, yes i did know who this is. that's not an enthusiastic reaction from carmy, but to be absolutely fair, he's rarely enthusiastic.
he is however very nervous here -- defensive posture, his face is red, tense jaw, etc. not sure these two were friends when they knew each other -- not saying they were enemies or anything, i'm just not getting the sense that they hung out much
mmm. based on this convo with syd and her dad? he's never been to The Beef in his LIFE. it would come up that they've closed down his Usual Sunday Place to do this if he had. adding that to the list of chekov's guns yet to be fired, and it's gonna be a friggin chekov's cannon ball depending on when that fuse is finally lit
"i have a partner!" "and you trust him" "yes!" gosh dangit. the subtext is text all right but like....conflict is coming
"i'm older than her now" oh land her mum died young then. and she does not believe her dad when he says she's just as wonderful as her mum was
i'm really hoping richie is gonna take a shower. that cannot be healthy
kay still talking with claire! great that doesn't make me nervous about this season at all!
"you wanted to fix [the broken arm]?" "i wanted to understand it" a very valid viewpoint, not knocking it.
but it does show the difference between them -- carmy, like in the party with the kids, like when he's checking in with richie and natalie and syd and tina, wants to help people, wants to fix stuff for them. claire wants to understand how things work -- two different approaches, two different foci.
oh. mm.
okay. okay. okay.
first off, carmy's "i should really listen to myself" about telling that kid not to become a chef? further proof if you ask me that carmy will end up stepping back from professional kitchens in some way
but
if someone so obviously does not want to be doing what they're doing -- if someone says they should not be a chef, for example, and then says that they're opening a restaurant? the first question most people would ask is: "why are you doing that then"
what claire says is "you're doing the thing!" which. i don't actually have words for that response. what in the brain-dead -- i don't care if that's what you remember of him from school or being kids or whatever, how on earth is that the response?
"because you're the bear. and i remember you." spit bucket please!
who the eff says that in a grocery store to someone holding frozen veal stock
he has absolutely no idea how to take that, wow.
in fact, yeah, i don't think carmy has any idea how to deal with personal attention like that, and he needs people to be fairly direct b/c he's sort of oblivious when it comes to how people think/act around him specifically -- he seems to understand People as a General Concept pretty well, just not as they relate to him -- which speaks to abominable self-esteem and i'm going to guess that when he says "i never had any girlfriends" it's not because a few girls (it was probably only two or three, especially being as Carmy as he is, but still) weren't interested in him, it's because he absolutely did not notice, God bless him and keep him
"i'll just get your contact information" oh here it issss here's the thing i know about
and they were so careful to have him recite his number earlier so we'd know what it is
"01....0....2." it's a VERY deliberate choice to give her the wrong number. this isn't a spur of the moment choice, he thought this through. and when she repeats it back and he has the chance to say "oh no 01 sorry", he just says "yup", no hesitation. they're emphasizing to the view that he's okay leaving it there, that this is done on purpose, that he's lying and that he knows he's lying
now there are a multitude of reasons for him doing this. if you think he does actually want contact with her, then it could be he doesn't believe she actually would want to talk to him, he doesn't have any idea how to handle her and is running, etc.
you could even say that this is classic Carmy repression -- he's not letting himself do something he wants to do because he's repressing the desire for it. that one's probably the strongest argument -- really the only valid argument -- on that side
but.
i think that the reason to have this in this episode specifically? is because he and syd have that conversation about the three-star call in this episode
remember what he says? first 10 seconds feels like a panic attack, b/c you know you'll have to keep it up. your brain skips any sort of joy or celebration, and settles instead on dread. that's carmy's experience with getting an honor few get in the culinary world, and it shows that he's actually not happy in being a Chef-with-a-capital-C. this episode fairly beats that into the viewer, honestly
i think it's the same thing here. he knows if he gives her his number that he'll have to keep it up. his brain skips any sort of happiness and settles on dread. and -- finally taking his own advice here, probably because he just mentioned he should take his own advice, carmy is quite introspective, he's just a little Blocked when it comes to his own emotions -- he decides that it's not worth it. the panic and the dread and the sheer effort it would take to maintain this is not worth it
this conversation is not shot like it's easy. carmy's leaning on the side of the freezer like he needs something to physically prop himself up. the lighting is great for claire, who's comfortable, but it washes carmy out, makes him look even more tired.
full disclosure, i don't know anything more than the fact that she goes behind his back (!!! i will have words!!) in the coming episodes sometime to get his real number, that's the extent of my knowledge.
but even without knowing that, watching this conversation? this isn't a full-fledged chekov's gun, this is at most a chekov's water pistol. she's gonna be here, but she's not gonna be omnipresent. her presence -- which i'm guessing will work largely as a distraction, pulling carmy away from The Bear, as well as being a Specter of the Past -- will cause conflict, rather than build a relationship. shot in the dark work, but given that we're shown how Carmy has a problem going all-or-nothing, and last season he went overboard on the "all" part of that, i'm guessing this season she'll be used to demonstrate the "nothing" part of his personality
which will cause problems and conflict, yes, and also provide an opportunity for the other chefs in the kitchen to grow into the roles they'll need to fill in carmy's eventual (permanent) exit from the kitchen. i get the feeling that the sign for "sorry" introduced here is gonna get quite a bit of airtime
this is long and rambly, but yeah! that's episode 2 -- two very relaxed season openers, i'll note -- we've got 8 to go, and i can feel the un-caged bear getting restless enough to start causing a ruckus....
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prentissluvr · 11 days
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guys i think i'm like... a conflict resolution god like. i can't even lie i'm so good at that shit... HAHAHA STOP THAT'S SUCH AN ODD THING TO SAY WHATTT
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sysig · 5 months
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Still normal don’t even worry about it (Patreon)
#Doodles#ADHD#I was Very nice to my fixation - when it was fixated on the thing I wanted it to be lol#Honestly I wasn't even that mean about the two (2!!) other things it wanted to brain-focus on#Mad about it but in that dopamine way lol#''Can we please get dopamine from this thing and not those other things? Please'' ''Lol''#That is not an answer!#It is honestly still really interesting data :0#I've still never successfully forced a fixation but this is at least the second time I've continued a falling fixation#I wonder what the through-line is hahaha <knows the through-line#I was actually very resistant to fixating on the other things because my pride got in the way again lol#To the point where I didn't even write them down until recently pffft yeah that's how that works#''If I don't write them down then they don't count'' Uh Huh#Even if there are Some similarities to the last time I forcefully refixated there are still enough differences to make for interesting data#Like how the last time I had three in conflict did Not go well it was very rough on my brain - but this time was nice :D#Probably helps that the two-pair were kinda-sort from the same source so really I guess it Could be argued that it was just two in conflict#But I'm not counting it that way and since it's my brain and I make the rules that's what matters lol#The next set is one of the fixations you all saw the TV Guide for this week it's fine lol#The other - it's another video game but hmmm I might see about making fanart if/when I actually get to play it myself#It's very silly so I'm gonna hold onto it for a bit longer haha
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