#I'm so glad you like it' once again!

[shuploc]

you deserve EVERYTHING you've ever wanted for that black and white picture of miguel. i need that man like theres no tomorrow.

Aw man, that's sweet so of you, I don't even know what to say 😭 I was actually pretty afraid I had made it a little too out of pocket, but it seems like it was just right amount lmao.

And not to turn your sweet message into a rant, but it's such a huge bummer so many people are reposting that drawing (and all my other Miguel things) seemingly everywhere, with not a sliver of credit in sight. I have not experienced this level of reposting before, ever, and it's so incredibly disheartening...

But regardless, thank you so so much for the sweet message, I'm really glad you like the drawing! There might be some more drawings like that coming in the future 😌

[mewkwota]

I Know What You Are... You Are Mega Man!

The differences between each Mega is something I love and appreciate, plus it's also fun to compare them side-by-side for it.

I think it's really amusing how they start with robots that slowly reach near-human traits, and then there's a straight-up human. Albeit, he is merged with a non-human being.

And then there's Volnutt. I know he could probably be narrowed down to an "artificial human", but I like the idea of tying him to his celestial origins as Trigger that are still half a mystery.

Such is my running-joke with him. He is just... Volnutt (currently).

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts 3 - Arendelle

[wyvernity]

sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH

bonus

[doodlingwren]

☀️ 🏖 🍧

Summer Holidays! Going around, visiting new places and taking lots of photos! (maybe eating some ice cream too...)

Here's my entry for the @aldemuappreciationhub event. Since it's summer, I drew something inspired by this season ^_^

[uncanny-tranny]

Over the years, I've gotten a lot of cis people messaging me about how they should go about dating or courting somebody who's trans, and I always felt like my responses would almost... disappoint them because there isn't this magic secret to dating us.

Cis people, if you want to date us, just date us. We're human beings, we're not wild animals to tame! I promise you can have a healthy relationship with a trans person without needing to feel like the world will end if you mess up.

Trans people who date cis people often want to feel secure in your acceptance of them. You don't have to talk about our transness for hours on end to prove that you accept your loved one. You don't have to put on a display and cabaret about how Much You Accept Us. Just be a person around us, and let us be people, too!

I almost want to disappoint cis people by reminding them of this. Some of the best relationships I've had with cis people have been ones where my transness is acknowledged, sure, but it's acknowledged in the same way that my left-handedness is. It's not a joke to them, it isn't something to be horrified about, but it's also something that they don't objectify me for.

[shannonsketches]

he's so important to me

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 45 Uh, Seriously?! Posting

So! Full speed ahead it is, internet void! What a dense chapter.

First up, John Hishaku and the Samurai Murderer Guy that was at Chihiro's house in chapter 2.

Guess we'll see more of him soon, how fun! It's not quite clear how many people are talking here, but Hishaku scheming is afoot and the game is on. The only question is how fucked the Kamunabi is going to be by the end of the arc IMO.

And don't think I missed that vase reappearing. My nemesis. The spiky boi on the mid-left drove me insane as soon as the raws dropped but I would like to tentatively propose that it is a kiku (chrysanthemum). Different colors have very different meanings so I still admit defeat on that front. But kiku are usually associated with mourning or Imperial imagery, so that's cool. I demand a treat if this flower arrangement turns out to be the world's subtlest hint that the Hishaku are related to an old regime or breakaway faction of the government.

But yeah... so much cuteness this week. Very welcome after the rich drama from the past few chapters.

Boys who commit patricide together fall asleep mid-conversation wake up together, apparently. And for all the fan artists/fanfic writers out there, it's now canon that both of them are wearing long-sleeved shirts under the other layers. I was kind of hoping for Chihiro to be wearing one of his dad's shirts but this is more in character...

Fine, okay, it's probably for convenience's sake since apparently these guys can only rest for one night before jumping into the lion's den. But I'm flabbergasted by their soulmate coding. I kind of expected Hakuri to pass out, but Chihiro conking out at the same time in the same pose is too damn cute! Barely over a week together and they've already perfectly synced their sleep schedules and postures lol.

I find it deeply amusing that the entire flashback sequence at the end of chapter 44 was purely for the reader's benefit though. Seriously! Hakuri asked Chihiro "So... what comes next?" and then they both immediately passed out sitting up. So the last four pages were there just to spare us from even more infodumping in this chapter, which is much appreciated.

That's something that Hokazono-sensei also did at the end of the vs. Sojo arc in chapter 18. 10 pages to him exploding, 7 to the situation at the Kamunabi (which will now come into play! EXCELLENT LAYERING OF DETAILS!). I don't know if I'm smart or educated enough to do a full analysis on the techniques he's using, but I love the style. He doesn't let the emotional points linger too long or waste a single goddamn panel in this manga. Yeah, I want more time with the characters outside of serious plot moments, but there's not much else for me to complain about. The need isn't particularly dire anyway since every scene is efficient in giving us characterization and info at the same time (example later this rant).

So yeah. Thanks to that excellent pacing decision, we get to witness this crowning moment of heartwarming:

LOOK AT THESE DORKS. LOOK AT THEM. I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE. Thank you for this moment of Team Goldfish x Hiyuki and Tafuku bliss.

And look at the food on the table! Hiyuki and Tafuku have earned a measure of trust with Team Goldfish! Just a bit, but Shiba definitely wouldn't have let them stay the night and eat with them if he felt they were dangerous.

It's also so sweet that Char's comfortable sitting in big bro Tafuku's lap... she's come a long way since her debut as a scared, scruffy orphan. Wonder where the gang is hanging though. Someone's apartment, I guess? A nearby hotel? More insignificant details this annoying reader wants to know...

TW for SF5-era tournament enthusiasts: That Stage appears in the first panel.

Did anyone have bets on Shiba wrecking Hiyuki in Street Fighter while waiting for Hakuri and Chihiro to wake up? I didn't, but I love it. And this scene highlights something I've really come to appreciate about Kagurabachi's writing: it's incredibly efficient. Almost every scene has more than one thing being conveyed at a time. For instance, here we learn that Hiyuki sucks at Street Fighter compared to Shiba but is too stubborn to quit (comedy & character consistency) and still doesn't know he's ex-Kamunabi (serious). This in turn tells us that Shiba's probably got something to hide from active Kamunabi personnel. After all, it's not like the org itself is a secret, and we wouldn't see Hiyuki questioning him twice if his circumstances weren't suspicious. So Shiba's subplot thickens while we laugh at the gag- peak efficiency.

The cuteness, though... the sweetness of this chapter, man!

Chihiro respecting Yuu's nickname and correcting Hakuri with such a gentle expression is incredibly adorable. He's so relaxed here... but oh wait, there's... chibi Hakuri and Chihiro apologizing for worrying Uncle Shiba?!

Chihiro and his new #1 enabler owe more than an apology but it's good enough for now.

This break wasn't quite long enough to reset the tension in my opinion, but it absolutely delivered on character moments. We definitely needed this after all the big feels from the previous few chapters. I wish there was more time devoted to letting us calm down before ramping up again but what we got here is pretty good.

And so we jump feet-first into laying the groundwork for the Kamunabi arc. A nice, efficient recap of the situation leads us into some additional context and a surprising bit of Shiba characterization. Whatever beef he's got with the Kamunabi feels quite personal for a guy who plays it cool and loose most of the time. We know he's glad he quit because they're too uptight, but there's gotta be more to it than that- he's subtly trying to steer Chihiro away from them while Hiyuki is having none of it here. I want to gently snap this man in half to make him spill his secrets...

At the end of the day, though, Shiba's not going to stop Chihiro from joining the Kamunabi. That's been his thing since Chapter 1: if Chihiro makes up his mind to do something, Shiba will offer advice and make suggestions but ultimately leave the decisions up to him. I wonder how much of his guilt over Kunishige's death plays into that...

Then!

PFFT. "I know what I'm doing here seems risky and unwise but It's fine, trust me. I've got Hakuri." OKAY BUDDY. You've been able to do a hell of a lot since you met this kid haven't you? It's like meeting him changed the trajectory of your life as much as you changed his.

Shiba's expression is very interesting to me. He's like "ah, I get it..." and he's not thrilled in the slightest. Adding Hakuri to the team means Chihiro can be even more reckless than ever before; what little influence he had over Chihiro's safety is all but gone now. And Hakuri himself won't try to stop Chihiro from putting his life on the line- he'll risk his own to help him do it! All this while they're poised to go somewhere he probably can't follow... poor Mr. Shiba.

And then!! AND THEN!!!

Chapter 32: Smile Unlocked (once has no meaning...)

Chapter 36: Smile Lost (twice is a coincidence...)

Chapter 38: Locked In (three times is a pattern...)

Chapter 45: Smile Restored (four times is fate)

The one pulling the other forward is always on the right, leading the reader as well.

When one calls, the other answers. What one starts, the other finishes. A and Un. And this time Hakuri echoes Chihiro's "you got it" catchphrase back to him! I hope this is their thing now, like the "How's my timing?/Perfect" bit that Shiba and Chihiro had.

I'm going absolutely insane over this interaction though. It's the first time Chihiro's gotten to hear someone affirm that they'll see things through with him at his own request (on-screen at least). The first time he's outright said he needs someone, even. And of course Hakuri responds so enthusiastically- he's finally wanted. Just a few days ago he thought he'd never amount to anything. But he's got so much hope thanks to Chihiro's faith in him now.

"What I need in my life is a samurai! THAT'S YOU!" is finally answered with "I'm going to need your help again." hnnnngh what in the hell is this chapter.

Platonic, familial, romantic- however you want to see their relationship, these guys are meant to be together. If I ever start to doubt Hakuri's importance again just smack me right upside the head- he's truly Chihiro's other half now. Let's cheer them on and hope nothing horrible happens to Hakuri ever again! Protect the smile of the boy who would die for you on command, Chihiro. You've been warned.

Protected Bearers

Cool stuff ahead, and tough times to go with them. I doubt things will be as simple as Chihiro successfully making his case and being allowed to start trying to Talk no Jutsu the former wielders. This arc seems like it could easily be longer and more complicated than the previous two combined. I kind of hope it is, just to get more time with everyone. I've never loved a cast of characters this much.

That said... In another series I'd be sure Chihiro would visit each area one by one in their own mini arc, but Kagurabachi is probably going to subvert the expectation somehow. We got previews of the areas so we'll be seeing all of them. Probably (we goddamn better after that gorgeous spread showing them off.), but not in the way we'd expect. This story is so fast I kind of expect us to blitz through all of them in a handful of chapters each... guess it depends on how in-depth we get with the bearers themselves.

As we originally saw them in chapter 18. The slightly updated designs from this chapter are pretty nifty.

I'm 100% sure the order they're presented here corresponds with the areas shown on the spread immediately afterwards. So eye scars is stuck in a temple, the girl is stuck in an onsen, kabuki monk guy is stuck in what looks like a floating shrine, and sushi chef is in... a sushi restaurant. Wow shocker.

I'm going to make the assumption that they got to choose where they were imprisoned for the rest of their lives. Maybe it was the government's way of expressing gratitude for helping the war effort? Which makes Magatsumi's wielder (the Sword Master) being sealed up like a nasty curse all the more intriguing... he's clearly fucked up but was he always that way or did the sword corrode his mind? Is there more to the lifelong contract with these swords than just being the only person who can use them? I better get some answers!

Anyway.

So Kunishige personally knew and chose these people... I wonder how meeting them will deepen Chihiro's understanding of his father's legacy. I sincerely doubt that all of them will make it easy for him to recover the blade they're tied to, but we'll hopefully learn a lot while Chihiro makes his attempts. Really seems like we are set up for Kunishige and Seitei War backstory so I am hype. Dead DILF lore! DEAD DILF LORE!

Hiyuki and Kamunabi Thoughts

Hiyuki also had some interesting moments this chapter. She understands that the current stalemate with the Hishaku has tied the Kamunabi's hands for the most part, forcing them to do less than savory things (like bidding on the Shinuchi) to keep the peace. And despite her hotblooded outburst before the auction, she still has rock solid faith in her org's mission. So I don't think she'll defect easily so as long as she believes the mission is doable under better circumstances.

And it seems like she thinks Chihiro might be the right catalyst for change... hmm. She's essentially using him as a chaos agent to shake up the status quo because he proved himself to her. She finds him worthy of deciding how to handle the blades, so now she's giving him and Hakuri the opportunity prove themselves to her leaders. Very cool. There's some rather deep stuff going on with her.

Hiyuki's much more establishment-oriented than her personality and actions suggest. I get the sense that she's there as an idealist who is willing to upset the status quo to see the mission through. A true believer in a bureaucratic institution- love that type of conflict. Can't wait to see more of her in this arc!

So now we're set to see Chihiro's philosophy and methods on trial. Super intriguing stuff and I'll definitely be looking at the questions each Kamunabi leader is asking to try and suss out their allegiance. Playing Guess the Traitor this arc is gonna be a lot of fun (I hope)!

Speaking of which... Azami as the traitor allegations don't move me, but I do think he'll be restricted this arc due to the ongoing investigation into his clandestine activities. Chihiro could well be on his own without an adult to watch out for him. At least he and Hakuri will be there for each other. ...With no one to try and stop them from doing reckless stunts. Uh oh.

So that's a wrap on this fuckhuge ramble. Hope the breakneck pace slows down just a smidge but I'm still very onboard with whatever is coming next. Thanks for allowing me to ramble as always, void.

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

[jacksprostate]

Howdy jacksprostate can you give us some thoughts on the narrators father/upbringing? Im curious on how you interpret what the book/movie gave us in terms of his absent dad

Also i love ur posts btw and thank you for replying to like all of my fight club art 😭 It genuinely pushes me to make more for the community so i thank you

Howdy :)

The narrator's father is an important, ever present, and completely lacking figure in the book and movie. (Obligatory disclaimer I mostly focus on the book) Here's some things I've been thinking about:

The chapter detailing fight club, its start, its rules, is intertwined with fatherhood. As the narrator explains his first punch with Tyler, as he looks upon his new disciples, as Tyler reads out the rules:

"Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer. 

Tyler never knew his father. 

Maybe self-destruction is the answer."

"Me, I knew my dad for about six years, but I don't remember anything. My dad, he starts a new family in a new town about every six years. This isn't so much like a family as it's like he sets up a franchise. 

What you see at fight club is a generation of men raised by women."

You have the lines, Tyler’s in the movie, the narrator’s in the book, you have:

"My father never went to college so it was really important I go to college. 

After college, I called him long distance and said, now what? 

My dad didn't know. 

When I got a job and turned twenty-five, long distance, I said, now what? My dad didn't know, so he said, get married. 

I'm a thirty-year-old boy, and I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer I need."

You have:

"Tyler was fighting his father. 

Maybe we didn't need a father to complete ourselves. There's nothing personal about who you fight in fight club." 

And you have his boss; his boss he blows up, Tyler constantly tells the narrator how he could do it, Tyler’s words come out against his boss about how he could shoot up the office, begging to be punished, using the copy machines, begging for more than nothingness; you have:

“The problem is, I sort of liked my boss.

If you’re male and you’re Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And sometimes you find your father in your career.

Except Tyler didn’t like my boss.”

You have: 

“I am Joe’s Broken Heart because Tyler’s dumped me. Because my father dumped me. Oh, I could go on and on.”

You have, Tyler’s words in the mechanic’s mouth:

“"Your father was your model for God.

…

If you’re male and you’re Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And if you never know your father, if your father bails out or dies or is never at home, what do you believe about God?

…

What you end up doing … is you spend your life searching for a father and God.

What you have to consider … is the possibility that God doesn’t like you. Could be, God hates us. This is not the worst thing that can happen."

How Tyler saw it was that getting God’s attention for being bad was better than getting no attention at all. Maybe because God’s hate was better than His indifference.

If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?

We are God’s middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention. 

Unless we get God’s attention, we have no hope of damnation or Redemption. 

Which is worse, hell or nothing?

Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved.”

And we have Tyler using paraffin, so the narrator can be in Heaven, chided by God.

So like, what does it all mean?

A generation of men raised by women. His dad franchises, he’s not sure if another woman is really what we need. Men with no male models. Men with shit fucking fathers who are fighting them with impersonal proxies. Men who know they're destroying themselves because they have no constructive examples to follow because every single man just fails every son.

And that IS important. It's important to note there is misogyny in the fact that men demand male idols and refuse to even borrow women, but can I condemn them for the same thing I know matters to myself? Can I condemn them for wanting to see men who aren't shit, when I want to see women who aren't shit, when I want to see both not fucking failing their children? Shit fathers fuck over everyone, I don't think it's wrong to see that problem. It's classic male to say it by implying women are lesser, so fucking classic, but it IS true — they're in large part like this because men fucking fail everyone including each other and themselves. There is a gaping, wide fucking asshole where decent men should be, and they’re throwing fits about it rather than stepping up, but I think it’s notable that the narrator DID break the cycle. He’s not franchising. 

And man, the Christian thing. Your father is your model for God because that is the point. Patriarchal religion serves a damn purpose. The father anoints himself as God, tells his children to have unbreakable faith, then disappears. What a shit fucking father. Isn’t disillusionment inevitable? When you can’t find him in his petty figures, not in your father, not in your boss?

Truth is, he says it twice. He likes his boss. As a person maybe. He’s around. But he’s absent too. He doesn’t give a shit. Just like his fucking father, he’s putting him in shit situations, telling him that’s just how it is, and expecting him to, what, be happy with it?

He likes his boss, but a part of him really wants to kill him. He likes his boss, but he begs his boss to do something, anything other than indifference. And he doesn’t. So the narrator invents his own boss, his own father, his own God, and he kills his boss, and he’d kill God and his father if they weren’t already practically dead and gone. 

Dead and gone, even if they're there, he could beg them to care and they wouldn't. Society is set up for them to be the ultimate judgement, the hallmark by which you can measure yourself, the ruler for your fucking life, especially as a guy. And you get nothing. Indifference at best. Be the best son, disciple, worker you can, your boss God father doesn't give a shit. Self improvement isn't the answer. Wouldn't it be better, to know God, your father, your boss cared enough even if it's just to hate you?

Wouldn't it be great to track him down, tell God, "I am stupid and bored and weak, but I am still your responsibility."

He externalizes all that violence, it’s always Tyler who wants to kill his boss, who says he wants to be God’s enemy. And Tyler is his stand in boss father God, so just like the others, he leaves him. Even his fantasies can’t imagine better. 

And honestly, yeah. Myself, I’ve got a pretty good dad. He loves me. He’s been around. I still hate his guts. He abuses my mom and I hate his fucking guts for it. If you asked my brothers, maybe they wouldn’t have that “but”. What he does to my mom is so baked into society that he may as well be a five star father. He’s not beating us. He’s still here. Can it really get better? I have friends that love their dads. But I don’t have any friends that love their dads that don’t have shit moms. When it’s not the choice between bad and worse. The bar is so low. What does that mean for us?

It’s so easy to point at all this and be disturbed and angry about this pathetic fucking white man letting his daddy issues result in terrorism, and like, yeah. But god, fucking everyone has daddy issues, and we shouldn’t. He’s right that it’s a problem. What to fucking do.

Fight Club sits as a “how to NOT deal with several major crippling problems in society,” obviously. But what are we doing to do? It’s not up to me, obviously. I’m not a man, father, not even someone who could raise her standards for the man she partners with, because I don’t do that shit. And hell, you raise your standards and men say you’re killing them and shoot up all the women in an engineering class because jobs are making them too uppity. So. It’s up to them, whether they decide that the fallout of having such a shit father means they should, I don’t know, change something. But as it is, father as God, boss as father is baked into society, the paternalism is extensive and everywhere. It’s baked in.

The narrator is a product of so many issues. A little clown car of a vehicle for them. I don’t really need to consciously think about what his upbringing and absent dad was like, because really, as he accurately assesses, “if his parents weren’t divorced, his father was never home, and here he’s looking at me with half my face clean shaved and half a leering bruise hidden in the dark. Blood shining on my lips. And maybe Walter’s thinking about a meatless, painfree potluck he went to last weekend or the ozone or the Earth’s desperate need to stop cruel product testing on animals, but he’s probably not.” 

Most people, on an overwhelming scale, due to how the world is damn designed, do not need to consciously think about what his upbringing and absent dad was like, because damn if it’s not relevant even if your dad was home.

[filigreefarm]

i drew alex and sam from this post :)

[moregraceful]

i am enjoying nesting, it's my favorite part of being in a new living space that belongs to me (we're going to buy rugs today!!!), but i would, as someone in my mid-30s, love it a lot more if i had my freaking table and chairs. there is only so much cross-referencing between amazon, target, and ikea i can do from the floor without grievously injuring myself. i am making a medium ikea purchase which will help (daybed because my friends in their 30s refuse to sleep on an air mattress, as is their right, and gave me money to buy one), but oh my GOSH i just want my table and chairs

[codacheetah]

I remembered that drawing is fun and awesome and I'm deeply tempted to crawl out of bed and go draw something else but it's 4am

[aromanticasterisms]

this whole epilogue is just a little treat for me oh my god. "familiar faces arrive in simulanka" does not even begin to cover it

[lizzerswillpoststuffmethinks]

Spoiler: I didn't go to sleep. But I will shortly after this post

[captorations]

it's still deeply unsettling that there are real actual people i have never met who know about me because i was born the male heir of a old american southern line. like, my brother (who is also trans) visited the old family house out of idle curiosity, over two decades after it did not belong to us anymore and we had distanced ourselves from every aspect of the culture. and the people now living there assumed he was me. they saw a man with our last name and figured he *had* to be me, since i was the only amab child.

like it's so so weird for these people, another old southern family, to have kept track of this shit well enough to make that mistake. and even weirder for them to treat my brother like returning royalty. they sure as hell didn't retract any hospitality once he clarified, but i'm pretty sure my brother could have admitted to war crimes and they still would have rather died than violate upper class southern hospitality rules.

like i know why this happens. i know that the american south is still hella aristocratic in places. i understand that this other family values the shared history between our families, even if most of it was us being shitheads. even if my family no longer shares their status culturally or economically. even if my dad would likely have sold the old place himself, only prevented from doing so by my aunt deciding to be a hilarious stereotype and manipulating my dying grandfather into changing the will in her favor so she could sell it instead. point is that these people Know I Exist and Care About My Existence and it freaks me out