#I'm sure the writers would've been able to come up with something better than what they did lol

[yrbladie]

—﹒୨` TELL ME GOODBYE (part 1/?)

˖ ࣪ summary. in which they're gone, but you call them one last time to hear their voice. but instead of the silent beeps and the voicemail message, you hear his quiet breathing. or in which you get one last chance to say goodbye.

˖ ࣪ characters. diluc, kaeya.

( warnings ) around 1k words. angst. gn!reader. heavy mentions of death (his). kind of modern setting since it has phones. mentions of living together (diluc). non-fluent writer

( a/n ) this is based on a book called "you've reached sam" and on a personal experience. also i'm not 100% sure if i should make a series out of this or not, i just had this idea randomly after reading the book and relating to it. and i kind of wrote this in a rush after an entire night awake so... if there is anything confusing or any mistakes, i'm sorry. and yes, i know it's small but i'm starting back slow :')

It had already been a year since your life had completely fallen apart, ever since your lover's passing. You kept wondering if you had made a mistake somewhere down the line or if your life had simply always been this dull.

Though time had completely stopped for you, the outside kept moving on, only precious memories remaining, like flames that spring to life one last time before being completely diminished to ashes.

Before, it was common to joke that you'd never be able to spend even a moment without his presence by your side, but who would've thought? Now, you'd have to spend an entire lifetime without him.

You, above everyone, knew how unfair destiny could be. But of all people, did it have to be him?

It's almost as if things hadn't changed much.

Your reserved seat in the tavern is still there, but this time it's Charles who greets you every time, a compassionate look in his eyes. And you don't know why — actually, you do — but you always find yourself waiting for him. Waiting until the moment you'll hear the door to Angel's Share open, and this time, surely, this time it'll be him. And you'd smile at him like you always did, and ask "where have you been? I've been waiting for you all this time!". But for some reason, you can't imagine what his answer would be anymore.

You always look for him everywhere you go, his red hair in the middle of the crowd, standing out like a rose in a field of lilies. Back then, no matter how much you tried to surprise him from behind, he'd turn around and greet you, like he was able to find you anywhere. He always did.

You always find yourself waiting for him to come back from wherever he is — even if you know where he is. Besides his father, in the cemetery next to the church.

On his birthday, his grave was filled with flowers of all kinds, and on most days, there was a single Small Lamp Grass that you'd change every few times. Sometimes, Kaeya would add a pink carnation to the pile on the days you couldn't go visit Diluc.

It was by no means a lonely and abandoned place there. And if you could be honest with yourself, you'd even say that spending your entire day besides his grave was better than to come home to a empty house. The place in which your voice echoed to nothingness and the silence was unbearable. The future, so meticulously planned together, now mocking you from a distance, out of reach.

Walking from room to room, you find bits of Diluc everywhere, your voice barely above a whisper as you try to connect all the pieces back together. As you try to remember how it felt to have him there. And you can't. You realize, with a coldness in your chest and a choked up sigh, that the human mind could be something so fragile.

So instead of dwelling on a life that no longer exists, surrounded by the shadows of a presence forever gone, you call him, just like you used to do. And for a single moment, it feels like you're back to the past. During the days where Diluc would never let it ring more than twice before answering.

And it seems like it rings forever as you wait for the usual voicemail to start playing, his casual voice saying that he'd call again later if it was something important. But this time, you're greeted by silence. And you're about to start wondering if your phone had glitched, before a familiar voice greets you again.

"(Name)?"

And maybe, you've really gone insane after all this time. Because it was still his voice, in the same way he used to say your name, although now he whispered, almost as if he couldn't believe it himself. Even if this was all a dream, just the fact you could hear him say your name again was a blessing in itself.

So you whisper back, "I'm here".

You can't help but feel like you've been there before. More times than you'd like to admit. It was like people around you were always doomed to disaster, so much so that it made you wonder whether you were somehow cursed.

"Well, then maybe we should be cursed together." Was Kaeya's lighthearted answer to your worries. Although he had quite the charming smirk at the time, you knew he was being serious.

Kaeya was someone that spoke about forever as if he was talking about the weather. In the way he joked about never leaving no matter what happened, and making promises under the stars.

In the end, you won the bet that neither of you chose to participate, the one you didn't even know you were part of. A bet with fate. It was like it was a cruel and twisted joke from destiny itself. To show you that indeed, your 'curse' would always be your downfall. Because no matter how many times you'd been there before, watching yet another loved one being buried, you still never expected it.

A fool's hopeless dreams. Like a firefly chasing a shooting star. Always looking up for the brighter days only to end up in the rainiest ones.

You had always loved rain. But now all your flowers where withering and your plant pots were overflowing, because as much as water can nurture, it can also destroy when it has nowhere else to go.

Mourning sometimes led people to the strangest places. Some would start swearing they could hear their loved one voice calling for them in their home, in the street. Some would even see them. And you couldn't help but wish this paranoia to yourself, because ever since Kaeya was gone, there was a simple and unending cycle of silence. No matter how much time you wasted waiting for something to happen during the late nights awake, you were never blessed by his faint presence again, created by a mind affected by delusions.

And so, with trembling hands you decided to dial Kaeya's number again. Like it had been on instinct, a habit too difficult to let go of. You heard the familiar ringtone as you took comfort in it. Slowly trying to delude yourself that things were still the same, that Kaeya was somewhere simply busy with work and he would call you back in a few minutes.

But the call was unexpectedly picked up. You wondered whether someone else already had his number, and you couldn't help but be angry, because how could they? But it wasn't their fault. Instead, you decided to speak as if it was Kaeya there, on the other side.

"Why?" You asked. Why did you have to leave? Why did you accept to go on that trip? Why didn't you stay when I asked you to? There were many questions you wished to ask, but knew you'd probably never hear the answer to.

"Uh… shouldn't I have picked up?"

The other person in the line suddenly says, their voice cheerful and so painfully familiar. You wondered if there was anyone else in the world that could have his voice, and now that you paid attention to it, you could hear his calm breathing through the phone, the same one that you used to hear when you'd call each other late at night only to sleep 'together'.

It seemed almost impossible to be him, but this time you wished to fool yourself just a little bit.

"Kaeya?"

And you can swear you hear his quiet chuckle, the one he always did when you said something silly.

"Yes, it's me."

[miss-eli-starfleet]

I like how WestAllen ended in the Flash with Nora's birth. The part where they're holding hands right before her birth and yellow and purple lightning zaps between them is done really well... Now, I don't particularly ship SnowBarry, but I do find the idea cute sometimes because of the Frost sisters, and how well done the writers wrote her scripts. I'm gonna disregard the whole Khione thing in my comparison of both ships which is canon WestAllen and AU SnowBarry from my perspective.

In a SnowBarry AU, Caitlin would be Barry’s “lightning rod”.

Barry would've been married to OG Caitlin (if you know what I mean) by the time they split in S6. At least following the timeline of how WestAllen generally progressed throughout the show. Like, as in, Barry's proposal of "Running Home to You" would be directed towards Caitlin instead of Iris in S3, SnowBarry marriage in S4, etc etc... Maybe it would be Caitlin SnowAllen if they decide to hyphenate?

Anyways, AU SnowBarry or canon WestAllen, I do wish they gave Caitlin/Frost more screentime especially after they split in S6. I would take the Frost sisters in a heartbeat instead of Cecile or Allegra.

S2 Barry and Jay would be “fighting” over Caitlin lol. Or maybe not. But he would be hella protective when Zoom kidnaps her.

In S3, Caitlin turned Killer Frost does end up working with Savitar.. imagine just how desperate Barry would be to keep her from going all "Frosty" because Caitlin is his fiancee, just as desperate as he was with trying to save Iris from Savitar in canon. I think instead of the focus on Iris, a majority of SnowBarry AU’s base plot line would include Barry trying to save Caitlin from her evil self? Like in that one episode where he spoke to Frost, and allowed her to try to kill him because he knows she’s still Caitlin deep down. OR it could be both: Savitar’s tryna kill her because she’s Barry’s “lightning rod” in this SnowBarry AU instead of them joining up.

Let’s say Barry still goes into the Speedforce in this SnowBary AU. Her heartbreak would be another catalyst/reason as to why Caitlin turned into her Frosty self between S3 and S4 to work for Amunet. In canon 4x01, Killer Frost does come back to the team as Caitlin to help Barry come out of the Speedforce so don't gotta "AU" that part. I know they "balanced out" the whole Caitlin/Frost thing in S4, and that was awesome to watch.

Loved the cuteness where “Caity” and Frost would communicate with each other in little sticky notes. Since Barry and Caitlin would be married by that time, maybe Frost writes sticky notes to Barry too?

Moving onto S5.. How would it go with Caitlin raising Nora alone in the future? Caitlin is a geneticist/doctor whereas Iris is a news reporter.. I think with Caitlin’s doctor/biochemist, I don't think she'd put a power dampening chip inside Nora. Nora would have Frost (split or not) to protect/guide her as well as the rest of the team. Maybe in SnowBarry S5, Nora would've grown up knowing that her father is the Flash from the start. 5x18 would've shown Caitlin and Nora having a better mother-daughter relationship than 5x18 canon Iris and Nora. Would she still go to Thawne then? Maybe so because of godspeed and he’s the only other speedster around and then after what happened to Lia? Maybe so.

Since Nora still wouldn’t have ever met Barry, Thawne could’ve still manipulated her with the whole Cicada dagger thing so she travels back in time. One thing for sure: she wouldn’t be all pissy towards Iris lol. But my poor girl Nora would’ve still vanished in S5 finale :(

When Caitlin splits in S6, imagine how happy Frost would be have her own body, but also to be there to support SnowBarry marriage in person, and be able to interact with both Barry and Caitlin at the same time. Speaking of the Frost sisters, what would Nora call Frost? Aunt Frost? Something like that?

Yep, Caitlin and Frost never dies in this particular SnowBarry AU. It was the only stupid thing the writers did for her character.

[jinhyun]

—closure.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: angst, college au, dance major hyunjin, art major reader

word count: 4.3k

summary: sometimes, loving someone just isn't enough.

a/n: hellooo, it's finally here! for those who might casually come across this, this is part 27 of my social media au "watercolor". sorry it took me so long, i was just going through a bit of a writer's block lol. anyway, i hope you guys enjoy! and as always i would loveee to read your thoughts on this, so please let me know!!

"We've made out and gone out a couple of times but that's it".

"We don't owe anything to each other".

"We're not a couple".

"Let's stop acting like one".

Hyunjin was unable to stop going through the texts you had sent him minutes ago. He read them over and over, as if just by staring at them hard enough, wishing they said something different, they would magically change. But they didn't. Instead, his heart would only annoyingly squeeze in his chest with every read of your words. Each time hurting more than the last.

He didn't know which one of your statements hurt the most. Maybe the one where you reduced your entire relationship to just making out and going out a couple of times. Maybe the one where you said you didn't owe exclusivity to one another, or the one where you reminded him you were not a couple.

Or maybe the last one, where you put a stop to it all.

He hadn't been able to reply to that one, and therefore the conversation seemed to be over.

What was he supposed to say anyway? "Okay"? "Fine"? Hyunjin truly didn't know what to say to that — one-word answers that did not reflect his true feelings about the whole situation were all that came to mind. If anything, he was not okay with it. Things were not "okay". Everything was not "fine". His chest was hurting in a way it never had before, and he was finding it hard to breathe. So, he had said nothing. He just sat there, watching the previous 'online' status on your chat change to the time you had closed it, as he re-read the conversation over and over.

Hyunjin didn't know when it had all gone wrong. Only a few days ago you were better than ever. He recalled the last day you spent together quite perfectly. You had been texting back and forth all day, to the point he had been called out in one of his classes by his professor, as at one point he couldn't contain a giggle of his after reading your latest reply — it had been quiet, hardly ever audible, but the complete silence of the room as Mr. Kim gave his lecture, had backfired on him.

He had waited for you after your last class later that day, and you had gone for shaved ice together, like he had been craving for days now. You had even invited Felix at some point, and although Hyunjin had expected to have some alone time with you that day, it had been fun. Spending time with you was always fun.

Then while the sun went down, he had walked you to your dorm — just the two of you, as Felix had seemed to get the memo. He found it hard to keep his eyes away from you, especially when the light night breeze would hit your face and your hair would move along with it. You were quite the sight. You had always been, he was just too stubborn to let himself admire you in all your splendor before.

"I hope all the wait to get your precious shaved ice was worth it" you had laughed, turning around to look at him after you reached the entrance to your building.

He nodded, standing only a few centimeters away from you. "Would've been even more worth it if you hadn't invited Felix behind my back".

"I didn't!" you played dumb, earning a small laugh from him as he took a step towards you.

"Mhm… sure, baby" his eyes squinted accusingly, yet all you could focus on was that pet name you could still not get used to hear coming from his lips. "I'm taking your phone away next time, so I can make sure it's only the two of us".

Your eyes looked away from his, feeling your face burn as a smile curved up the corners of your mouth. "If you wanted me all to yourself so bad, you should've just said so".

"Thought it was a given," his confident words had you looking back up at him, only to be met with his intense stare as he pulled you closer by your hand. "Let's go out just the two of us next time, yeah?"

You nodded, silently, with a shy, loving smile parting your lips. You wouldn't have it any other way.

"Now give me a kiss before you go inside" he demanded, puckering his lips for you to close the space between them and yours.

You bit your bottom lip in amusement. "And why would I do that?"

"I mean, you haven't kissed me at all today and on top of that you sabotaged our alone time, so…"

"And that concerns me because…"

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, tugging at your hand to pull you closer and get what he wanted. "Come here, you tease".

The small giggle that had just escaped your mouth was muffled by his — soft, sweet lips trapping your own, sucking on them ever so gently as his hand cupped your cheek.

Had he known that was the last time he would kiss you, he would've taken his sweet time with you. He wouldn't have let go of you for a good couple of minutes, until your lips were swollen and your breathings were heavy, not caring at all about being in the middle of a public alley.

He tried to recall something, anything he could've said to make you start avoiding him and pushing him away after that day, but he could not find a single thing. You had bickered like you always did, flirted like it was oh-so-usual by now. You had kissed. You had laughed. When did it all go wrong?

The only reasonable explanation he could think of took him back to Changbin. You had been avoiding him all week, excusing yourself on the fact that you were busy, yet you had immediately jumped at the opportunity to spend some time with Bin — maybe not exactly like that, but that's how Hyunjin pictured it. Did you catch feelings for Changbin along the way? You wouldn't, right? Not now that you and him were together. You had been into him since first year, you wouldn't go to one of his best friends now that you finally got to be with him, would you?

Then again, you had been sleeping with Changbin for months now… but that didn't make your feelings for him go away before. They wouldn't go away now of all times, would they?

It just made no sense. The entire situation made no sense. He needed more than just a couple of texts telling him off for him to understand what was the reason behind it.

Reading your last conversation one last time, he felt like he would go crazy if he didn't get to the core of it. So, closing your chat for once and for all, he decided he wasn't letting you go without a proper explanation.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Going home didn't seem as appealing that day. In fact, going home hadn't been appealing at all those last few days. Even though you had Cherry as your roommate and she did a great job at keeping you company, she could not be with you at all times, and it was those alone, silent moments, the ones you dreaded the most, for those were the moments your thoughts took over and your heart hurt the most.

You had felt numb ever since your last conversation with Hyunjin that evening, but you knew the moment you were left alone, you would break down.

Changbin had been right next to you as you and Hyunjin texted back and forth, and although he didn't know what was being said, you could tell he was worried over your lack of reaction after you shoved your phone back in your pocket. It was as if all emotion had been snatched away from you. Your face remained serious, detached, and the usual light in your eyes had been put out.

"You okay?" he had wondered, oblivious as to what had just happened between you and his friend.

You shrugged, not meeting his eyes as you leaned back on the bench you had been sitting on and stared into one of the many trees the park was surrounded with.

You said nothing. You felt nothing. Or maybe you felt so fucking much, so many feelings, so much hurt, that your mind was protecting you by shutting its every emotion down altogether.

It helped that Binnie was with you, he was good at keeping you distracted and at cheering you up. But he had a life of his own and things to get done with, and you could not avoid going home forever. You could not wander around campus on your own all night long, after all. Saying goodbye and going your different ways at the end of the day was only inevitable — as inevitable as the dreaded silence that awaited you back in your bedroom.

The only thing that seemed avoidable so far was talking to Hyunjin any further. You hadn't checked your phone ever since you had last hit 'send' on that text that ended it all. You didn't know if he had said anything else after that, but you did know that you were not reading what he had to say — if he had something to say at all. At least not that night.

Just for tonight, you wanted to forget about Hwang Hyunjin altogether. You wanted to forget about how head over heels you were for him. How hard your heart would beat against your chest whenever you even simply thought of him. How much you loved his eyes and the small freckle underneath one of them. How much you loved his lips and the way they would feel against yours, knowing just how to make you weak to your knees. How much you loved his laugh, from the sound of it to the way his entire body would move whenever he did.

Most importantly, you wanted to forget about everything that had happened between the two of you the last few weeks. You wanted to forget how goddamn happy you were, thinking he was starting to feel something for you and to take you seriously as a possible future partner, all while he was feeling trapped in a relationship he had never asked for.

You wanted to forget about his conversation with Felix more than anything.

You just wanted to forget.

Which is why you were not happy to see Hyunjin waiting outside your building.

You had caught a glimpse of his figure from afar as soon as you turned to your dorm's alley. It was dark, a dim light coming from the entrance being all you could use to see him, but you could always recognise him from miles away.

His grey t-shirt seemed to be doing little to nothing for him when it came to protecting him from the rather cold wind of the night, but he didn't seem to care. Still, he looked preoccupied, far gone in his own thoughts as he remained sat down on the ground — back pressed against your building while you supposed he waited for you to either arrive or come out of it. He didn't know if you had already made it back home from your little hang out with Changbin, after all.

A part of you wanted to turn around and go crash at Jeongin's — maybe even at Han's, if Minho was okay with you staying regardless of the current state of your friendship. However, another part of you, the one that was still incredulous over everything that happened, the one that was numb over it all, could not care less about having to face him.

So, you kept on walking, ignoring his presence as you walked past him and made your way to the front door.

Of course, you would not get away with it that easily. One look at you as you walked by was all it took for him to be up to his feet and stop you from opening the door.

"We need to talk, don't you think?"

You said nothing, staring deeply into the doorknob he had kept you from turning.

"Y/N..." he pushed. "Will you look at me?"

Biting down on your lip as you exhaled heavily, you looked up to him. One look into his worried chocolate eyes was all it took for the numbness to go away. All it took for you to realise you were not strong enough to face him right then.

"Can we talk?"

You looked away. "I said everything I had to over texts".

"That's not enough. If you're shutting me out the least I deserve is an explanation" he stated, managing to get your eyes to focus on his. "I don't get it, I—we were doing so well up until the other day…"

"I didn't know you felt stuck with me up until a few days ago".

That sentence alone had gotten his entire body to tense up. "What?"

"Don't make me repeat it..."

"Baby, I d—"

"Don't," you warned him. "There's no need for you to keep acting like some kind of… unofficial boyfriend anymore just because you pity me".

"Pity you?" he asked, disbelief all over his face. "When have I ever pitied you…"

"So what would you call being with me and keeping yourself from sleeping around just because you don't want to hurt my feelings?"

His face fell, and that's when it hit him — why you had started acting this way towards him so out of the blue, why you no longer wanted to be with him. Felix. The conversation they had that other night.

The one where he said he wished you didn't have feelings for him because that way he would be able to still sleep around.

The one where he said he had gotten stuck in a relationship he never wanted.

The conversation that was just him trying to put into words the mess that was going on in his head over everything he was feeling for you, and how it was affecting his mindset when it came to commitment — everything he had never felt before you came in the picture.

He hadn't found a reason for you to start acting this way because he had been looking in the wrong place. It wasn't what he had done the last day you had spent together, but what he had told his best friend afterwards.

To say Hyunjin was speechless would be a understatement. That conversation was never supposed to leave that chat, Felix was never supposed to tell you about it. He wanted to scream at him, ask him why the hell he had done it and ruined what the two of you had just like that, but that could wait. Right now, you were in front of him, about to walk away for good. Felix and his anger towards him could wait.

"Y/N... what I said, I was—I am confused..." he sighed. "Everything happened so fast, I don't know what I'm feeling or what I want... but I knew what you wanted and I... I'm sorry..."

There it was again, that sharp pain in your chest that you were so used to by now. "I never meant for my feelings to be such a burden to you".

"That's not w—"

"You don't owe me anything just because I caught feelings for you, Hyunjin. Especially now that I called things off. You're free, you can stop pretending now".

"Pretending?" Hyunjin blurted out. "I was never pretending at all".

You let out a heavy sigh, trying to walk past him. "Just go, Hyunjin. I'm done here".

He grabbed your wrist. "Why can't you just talk to me?!"

"Because!" you turned around, eyes already welling up with tears you refused to let fall down. "I'm embarrassed. I feel stupid, I feel delusional, I…" your breathing became heavier. "I feel like I'll break down any time now in front of you and I'm embarrassed enough as it is".

His eyes softened, and his hand loosened its hold on you. "Baby…"

"Stop it with that. I'm not your baby" you pulled your hand away from him. "What's the point if you don't want to be in a relationship with me to begin with".

"Why does it have to be so complicated?" he wondered. "Why do we have to put a label on it, why can't we just be together as it is".

"Because I'm not ready to see you with someone else. I won't ever be as long as I feel something for you".

"I haven't been with anyone else since we first kissed" he sounded desperate for you to believe him. "I promise you I haven't".

You shrugged, a weak smile curving up your lips. "Just because you don't want to hurt me, not because you feel like being with me only".

He stayed silent, and you could only feel your heart squeeze inside your chest over the silent confirmation.

"I meant it when I said I never meant for my feelings to be such a burden to you, Hyunjin. I thought you were with me because you wanted to, not because you found yourself living up to my expectations. I don't want you to be with me because you feel like you have to, like I'll die if you leave me".

"Your feelings are not a burden, Y/N…"

"Sure feels like it".

"They're not".

"Why are you with me then?"

Another pause on his end. "Huh?"

"Why are you with me?" you repeated. "If it's not because you don't want to break my heart, then why?"

"I like you" he said in a heartbeat, truthfully. "You know how much I like you".

"And what makes it any different from all the other girls you like?"

"You… you're... I mean—I don't," he stumbled upon his own words as he desperately tried to come up with them, getting a sad smile from you. "It's not that simple..."

"You can't even find a reason," you mumbled. "And it's okay, I'm not gonna force you to love me back".

Love.

Love.

Hyunjin found himself looking up at you at the sound of that — heart just having skipped a beat, and a spark he could not control in his eyes.

"Love you back?" he whispered.

You smiled weakly, only then realising what you had just said. It was no news that you loved him. Fuck, you had been in love with him since the first moment you saw him. You had just never said it out loud. Not to him, at least.

This was definitely not how you would've liked to tell him. Not when you were trying to end things with him. But maybe it was for the best — maybe this way you would be able to get your closure and move on.

"I'm in love with you, Hyunjin" you said, like it was the easiest, most obvious thing in the world. "Thought you knew it very well by now? I haven't been very subtle about it".

"I didn't…" he blinked.

To like him? That he knew. Have feelings for him? Of course. But love was a whole other thing. Love was a big word. It was a very deep feeling. And he was just now realising just how serious you were about him — just how much had been at stake for you all along.

"Well then, now you know" you let out a shaky breath, feeling ever so little under his stunned stare. "I've been in love with you for over a year now".

"You have?" his voice came out soft as ever, almost scared to ask.

"Mhm…" you nodded. "Ever since the first time Mrs. Moon brought you as the model for our drawing session. It's been a good while since I've been pining after you… and honestly, by this point…" a heavy sigh escaped your lips, being followed by a small shrug as you looked away from his eyes. "I'm just… tired".

His heart sunk. "What do you mean you're tired?"

"I'm tired of waiting around, of chasing after you…" your eyes met his saddened ones once more. "I mean, now that I know how you truly feel about a possible relationship with me, I think I'm done chasing after you".

"Y/N—"

"No, please" you cut him off. "Let me talk. I know this might be tiresome, and I wasn't gonna say anything, but now I just... need to let it all out so I can get my closure".

Hyunjin leaned sightly back, that simple world feeling like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown right over his head.

"Closure?"

You nodded, not being able to look him in the eye. "I knew you didn't want a relationship, I mean, you told me so yourself even before anything happened between us, but I..." you took a deep breath, needing to compose yourself. "After you kissed me at the art studio, and then when you started inviting me over to your place and whatnot, and treating me in what I thought was a special way... I let myself be delusional and believe you had changed your mind, and that you were acting that way because you wanted to be with me".

"I do want to be with you" he reassured.

"Not in the same way I want to be with you. Not in the way I need you to" you denied. "We're on two complete opposite sides when it comes to love, Jinnie. I'm not afraid of it, nor am I scared to show my feelings. I have so much love to give, as cheesy as it sounds, and I want… I deserve someone who will love me back just as much, and won't be afraid to show it" the softness of your voice didn't stop the hurt — hearing he was not what you needed hurt like hell. "And you need someone who is into the whole no strings attached thing just like you are. We're just not compatible, I guess. As much as it hurts me and I wished we were".

"Why can't we just find a common ground?" Hyunjin insisted. "I'm just… so confused right now, Y/N. If you just gave me time to figure it out…"

"You've had lots of time to figure it out, though. Nothing's changed so far when it comes to you not wanting a relationship" you pointed out. "Seriously, Hyunjin, do you ever see yourself in a serious, formal relationship with me? Do you see me as your girlfriend at one point?"

"I just need time..." he whispered.

"You're not answering my question" you couldn't hide your disappointment by now.

"Y/N... please..."

"I understand that you need time to figure it out, but I can't just wait around for you to do it anymore. I mean, what if we keep acting like a couple and then after a while you realise that it's really, truly not what you want?" your point had him lowering his head. As much as he didn't like it, he knew you were right. "I can't risk getting my heart broken like that".

He bit his bottom lip, gently reaching for your hand before his eyes fixed on yours. "I don't wanna lose you".

"But you don't want to be in an exclusive relationship with me either…"

His eyes abandoned yours, focusing on his feet instead. That was all the confirmation you needed.

"You can't have everything, Hyunjin" you let him know, slipping your hand away from his. "You say you want to be with me, but you also want to be with other people. I'm just making it easier for you by taking a step to the side, you don't have to choose anymore".

"Shouldn't it be my decision?" his eyebrows knitted together. "Shouldn't I say whether I want to stay with you or not?"

"Not when my heart is the one at stake".

"So this is it?" he asked. "You're just giving up on us?"

"Was there ever an 'us'?"

Hyunjin bit his tongue, not having an answer to that, yet wishing he did.

It was funny, in the worst way — how all this time he had been so reluctant to admit you were together to the world, yet now that you were the one to make it seem like you were not, uneasiness was fast to rush through his body.

"So where does that leave us," his question came out more bitterly than he had intended. "We stop talking and seeing each other just like that?"

You shook your head no. "We're in the same friend group now, it'd be like going back to the way we were before this whole thing happened. Minus me looking for excuses to talk to you and see you pretty much every day" a breathy laugh escaped your lips, one that wasn't enough to light up the mood. "Gonna be a hard habit to break, but…"

"I don't want that" he confessed.

"Why?" you tilted your head. "You're free to go to whoever you want now".

He shook his head, taking a step back. "You're being unfair".

"All I'm saying is you won't have to keep yourself from fooling around with other girls anymore".

"So you're telling me you won't be hurt anymore if I started sleeping around again?"

"For a while, yes" you admitted. "I do have feelings for you after all, and, unlike you, I can't just suck it up".

He was unable to say anything else, looking almost ashamed as he was reminded of his own words — the very ones he had confided in to Yongbok a few days ago.

You were finally able to reach for the doorknob without having him stop you, twisting it without a second thought and holding the door open while he remained speechless.

"But don't worry about it, it'll only hurt for a while. I'm getting rid of them" you looked at him one last time, regretting it the second your eyes locked with those dark brown of his you loved so much. "I have to get ready for tomorrow's class now, so... I'll see you around".

With that, you walked into the building, leaving him to deal with the lump in his throat and the aching pressure in his chest he didn't know he would feel.

tag list: @blaaiissee @hyuneytoast @staysuki @tardiscompanion @princehyun-jin @hyuka-luvbot @halesandy @nattisbored @qnjayn @hibuki-chan @purenjuniverse @seungly @suhnnyskiess @midsoulz @yellowroseskolchek @esme-ordaz @perriwiinkle @firnze @soobin-chois @readingfanfic-ly @multifandomizer @elviransworld @valewoos @ktttwwn @hazzaloveschopsuey @hannahdinse8 @youngestdelacour @zoe8stay @leechanniee @phenomenalgirl9 @aeminju @threevracha @kai-maree @laryisthinking @wolfietara @iam2out @kingggjaay @cosmic-railwayxo @straykidsficsrecsbaby @marsophilia @choibeomgogi @ddaengpotate @oceanyocean @rinsdesires @jhslmhbtsskz @lixlovesworld @keenlampponyclam @yerimselgi @rubberduckieyourtheone @littlestarhyun

[greenerteacups]

I'm "cool about Lionheart" in the same way Draco is "cool about his relationship with Hermione" in Lionheart, which is to say, not at all... it's freaking epic! You're doing an epic service to the Dramione fandom and you should know!

I want to ask so many questions about what's coming up in your rewrite of canon but I know that would be asking for spoilers so I won't...

Instead, as I'd also love to hear your thoughts on canon as this story is such an amazing canon rewrite, I want to ask at what point in canon, based on the way his character is portrayed, do you think Draco could have realistically had a turning point and switched sides / become friends with the trio / fallen in love with Hermione etc.? Or do you think that Draco in the original story wouldn't realistically be able to change enough for that to happen? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this as a Dramione fan and writer as I think it's something a lot of people struggle with with his character in canon.

this is such a wonderful ask! i am happy to discuss anything about the fic, and i will do my best to talk about its future without spoilers! questions are an indulgence for me, not a task. (fun fact about this question in particular: originally, when i was thinking of the idea for Lionheart, i wanted to do something with a draco-switching-sides rewrite starting around book 5 or 6, only to realize that the way I wanted to write draco in that fic just wouldn't be in-character without a lot of backstory that would be terribly clunky to try and exposit in media res. which prompted me to start thinking about ways that his character could be changed to reach that point, which made me think... you get the idea.)

To your point, I think Draco is a highly reluctant Death Eater — he's a pureblood supremacist, sure, but he's not dedicated to the cause or anything. mostly he's just a selfish fifteen-year-old kid who does what he's told and gets swept up in his parents' mistakes. if there's one thing about draco, it's that he does not make calls based on a moral compass: he makes calls based on what is best for Draco Malfoy, and possibly a very small circle of people beyond that (all of whom share his last name). it's one of the fundamental tenets of Draco's character: he's not a humanitarian. Even four years of relentless moral reformation in Lionheart can't really beat that out of him. It's just not how he thinks.

But that's actually a pretty convenient thing, if you want to start a redemption arc, because the thing is: if at any point the Order of the Phoenix had been able to offer Draco a better deal than the Death Eaters could, I think he'd have jumped on it. Draco does not want to be part of the war. he doesn't want his parents to be part of the war. arguably Lucius does, but by the time we see them in Book 6, both Narcissa and Lucius seem to be clearly horrified and regretful about the situation they've put themselves in. this is why I think fics like Disappearances and A Season for Setting Fires are such natural springboards for Draco's character — because both of their premises are fairly simple: "what if we just let Draco leave the Death Eaters?" That's all it takes! And that could happen at any time. Realistically, it probably wouldn't happen until Book 5 or 6, because that's the first time the Malfoys are actually called upon to serve Voldemort. But I think if anyone had been willing or able to put Draco in witness protection, he would've changed a lot as soon as he was removed from an environment where performing an earnest and violent belief in blood supremacy was literally necessary to his survival.

For instance, I've sometimes toyed with the idea of a canon divergence AU where Draco goes into Witness Protection at the end of Book 5 — Bending Light kind of has shades of this, though the sequel takes it in a very different direction — and ends up doing what he's doing for the first act of Disappearances, which is bumming around Grimmauld Place and basically annoying everyone until the horcrux hunt kicks in and his Black lineage creates a pretext to haul him along on the quest. That kind of environment is really easy to do redemption arcs in, because the characters are in a constant pressure cooker of stress and hormones and near-death experiences, which will trauma-bond the fuck out of them really quickly and get them fairly comfortable having Big Conversations after like, the third or fourth time they save each other's lives. It also makes for a much easier environment to fall in love, because it removes them from the normal context of Hogwarts and pureblood society and makes the stakes of socializing across class/House lines much, much lower — both for Hermione and for Draco. In fact, talking about this has kind of made me realize why Disappearances is such an incredible fic for me; I think it's possibly the most realistic Draco arc I've ever read. But anyway, if it were to happen earlier, then I think it would have to be outside the Hogwarts context — or maybe a Hogwarts where Draco's not in Slytherin. (Hey, speaking of which...)

[hecatesbroom]

I finished watching The Golden Girls last night and I have Thoughts about those final two episodes. So here's a little elaborate analysis because I have to get them off my chest lol

(under the cut because unfortunately I'm too long-winded for anyone's good)

Usually I despise final episodes of shows where they're saying goodbye and things are changing forever. Because the characters' lives are being upturned, often out of the blue, and it usually feels so unsatisfying. But something about the way this was done made it such a good, fitting ending, that there really couldn't have been a better way to finish things off.

It's like, there really was no other way this should've ended -- because yeah, everything is changing, but it's also okay, because everything is changing thanks to, rather than in spite of, the past 7 seasons.

It's an ending that wraps everything up pretty neatly, and it seems that every character got their own emotional arc. For a show with basically no continuity it's amazing how they managed to make it feel like all seven seasons had been building up to this conclusion all along.

Dorothy gets married and she leaves, because of course she does. There's no way she could've stayed there with them and her husband. And as much as I would've loved to imagine the four girls living together in that house forever, the way they handled it, the way Dorothy was able to open up to a new, serious relationship only because she had lived with Blanche and Rose (and Sophia) for so long, only solidified how much these four women mean to each other. It's like, by marrying Lucas, Dorothy is able to show just how much her friends (who at this point have become her family) mean to her.

And that's such a huge part of why I loved this ending so much. It's not just a farewell, it's not just a way to get Dorothy out of the way and leave a window open for a possible spin-off with the remaining three girls. It's an ending that does not only her justice, but all of them. It's a little tribute to everything they meant to each other over the years, and a reassurance that sure, life has changed and so have their circumstances, but even in her marriage to Lucas, Dorothy is carrying Rose and Blanche and Sophia's love with her. Because she wouldn't have been able to marry him if they hadn't loved her so much, and she hadn't loved them in return.

Rose, Blanche, and even Sophia are left together, and it could've been handled so, so much worse. The writing team could've taken it for granted so easily: of course Dorothy leaves because she gets married, so of course Rose and Blanche (and maybe Sophia) stay together. It just makes sense!

But instead of taking the easy route and paying barely no attention to any potential for an emotional conclusion there, the writers took the opportunity to put Rose and Blanche in a position of almost having to say goodbye to each other, too, and gave Sophia the opportunity to make them realise just how much they need each other. Which, in turn, showed her (and them) how much they need Sophia, too.

It leaves the three of them feeling not as the leftovers, or the people who were ditched because Dorothy went off with someone else, but as three women who very consciously, very lovingly chose each other in spite of this big change. And you're left feeling happy for them staying together instead of bitter about them being left behind.

And that final scene? Where Dorothy leaves and she keeps coming back again because she misses them already, and she really doesn't want to say goodbye? When finally, Rose and Blanche and Sophia are left waiting there, in silence, and they realise Dorothy really isn't coming back this time? I loved that. I've seen plenty of scenes where characters have to say goodbye at the end of a show, and every single one of them left me with the bitter aftertaste of what felt like an unresolved ending.

But this? This works, because this time it's not just the audience being left behind. It's Dorothy, who keeps coming back because she's going to miss them so much. It's the three remaining girls, standing in that room, waiting for Dorothy to return and slowly realising she's really gone this time.

And this time, as an audience, you're not the only one being left behind. You're standing there, right next to Rose, Blanche, and Sophia. You're sharing the characters' hurt, in fact they're probably feeling even worse than you are, and that's what makes it such a good ending to me: it's an ending that empathises with the audience.

[writeblrgarden]

PLANT GROWERS - MEET THE WINNERS - ETLU

Meet Etlu, who got second place in our grow a plant event in november! Etlu goes by she/they, and you can find them at @etlu-yume. She has been writing for about 20 years, primarily fantasy or urban fantasy, and lately has been dipping their toes into slice-of-life.

Tell us something interesting about yourself!

"Interesting" is a tricky thing because it's so subjective! Like some people would say being able to speak/read/write another language is interesting, and others would just expect it, right? I guess in some ways I could be considered a quadruple threat - in addition to writing, I also am an artist, study languages, and played and performed with music groups on local and international stages.

Tell us about the WIP you'd like to talk about today.

Fangs with Benefits (not what I did for NaNo - but that's self indulgent and stays between me and the dust on my hard drive). Fangs with Benefits follows the story of a set of siblings, Sherry and Gael. After the pair are banned from donating blood, they are forced to move to the big smoke in order to chase medical treatment for a family illness. After a chance meeting, the pair discover the secret supernatural underground of their new home. Full of supernatural creatures, Sherry decides that there's a solution to their frustration with red tape at the hospital; Vampires. After all. It would be of mutual benefit to both parties. And so chaos ensues.

Describe your writing process. Do you like to plan everything or are you more spontaneous?

I'm a bit all over the place. I tend to do best when I have a game plan, something to refer back to (more often than not somehow it takes scenic routes between written points; go figure). However sometimes, particularly when later scenes will not leave me alone, I will just go ahead and write them out in a separate document. Once they're out of my head and down on paper, it usually becomes much easier to go back to where I had left off and keep going. That said, it's a work in progress and always changing. What worked last year may not work for me this year, and so on and so forth. I'm just hoping I can try and establish a better year-round writing habit in 2024 <3

What have you found to be the most challenging and/or rewarding about writing?

If you'd asked me this question prior to last November, I would have struggled. Maybe I would've said "a blank page/new chapter" is the most challenging thing (and, really, it still is). But. I think the most rewarding thing about writing comes in two parts; 1.) One is when you're writing for others or an audience. I can't really speak too much on this, since I've been super shy with my work and haven't posted much if any online for general consumption. But to the few people I do share with, seeing their reactions to the story progressing, screaming about characters or events. I know there's been times where those reactions have been the difference between opening up the document and writing a few more words that day, or giving it a miss. 2.) Two is when you're writing for yourself, using your writing to help process things that have happened or that you're struggling with. It may not make things 100% better, it may not change the situation at all. But somehow there's also a weird healing power to it, too.

Below the read more is more of our conversation with Etlu

What inspires you to write?

This is a hard question! I'm actually trying to work this out myself. I started to fall out of love with writing a while ago, and I'm still looking for my way back. I'm sure I'll get there, I just don't know how long it will take, or what form it will take. But I'll get there. <3

Share some advice for other writers.

Hmm. One of the classics is "you can edit a bad page, but you can't edit a blank one", which is very true. But I'm not sure that's the kind of advice I'd want to give other writers - or myself for that matter. Bad days happen - be kind to yourself. If you're working towards a goal, keep believing in yourself. Don't give up. You can achieve amazing things! (Said from 2018's cloud of cough medicine zombie fog and pulling like 30K out of nowhere in the last 2 days of November.) Also it sounds weird but don't start from a fresh document. Even if you're finishing a chapter off, just start the next one. I'm super bad at taking this advice myself, but it's easier to re-read a few lines and make tweaks before moving forwards than it is to sit there face to face with a blank page at the start of a session.

What do consider your writing strength?

I'm probably best at workshopping or bouncing ideas, and then never writing them. Does that count? haha. On a serious note I think perhaps my strengths with writing is my structural pacing. (Not plot pacing. I've already picked up some rushed chapters in the last 3 months)

What has been the nicest compliment you've received or what has been the toughest criticism you've received?

Actually today I had a message from a friend, just a simple spotify link to a song. They followed it up with comments that they had been ruminating about events of the last couple of chapters when it started playing, and it made everything hurt even more. It's been a week since they read it - to hear that my silly little story is something that they're still thinking about this long after reading it, that combined with music it brings out more emotion. It's the little things like that, that remind me what it's all about.

What do you love the most about writing?

I'm still trying to work this out. But it falls somewhere between research, the friendly banter with other writers while everyone procrastinates, and the way that your words and the way you write will be so very different to the next writer, that everyone has their own style.

[clay-cuttlefish]

Forging ahead with 52. #19 to #38. It's so much.

#19

The Evil Skeets plot is great. According to the omnibus it was a very late change away from a generic broken-time story, and I can kinda see that with how some of the earlier evil Skeets behavior doesn't seem super purposeful, but it all works for me.

#20

Mostly spaceguy plot that I don't care much about. The fight's cool at least.

I have no idea what fan speculation was like at the time but the idea of Supernova Jason Todd conspiracy theories is extremely funny so I support the intentional red herrings here.

#21

I keep changing my mind on which storylines I like more as I go. How could I not love Natasha?

#22

Dr. Magnus is back! I wish him being bipolar was handled more sensitively, the whole "oh the medicine keeps me from going ~crazy~" thing is :/, but I'm willing to read it charitably as his own perspective because I like him. He's a psychotic DC character who's heroic and not spooky or magical, just a guy who really doesn't want to have another depersonalization episode and has some internalized sanism about it, it could be so much worse.

#23

I like that Vic's more jaded to the horrors he can't stop than Renee is. He's had a lot of time to get used to the idea he can't save everyone - back in his own book he would've thrown himself in harm's way just like she wants to, but he's gotten better at not starting fights he can't win.

Hate to give Geoff Johns credit for anything but "What the hell are you doing?" "Seeing if it's contagious." is really good.

#24

"We were both guilty of ignoring Ted" Pretty sure Booster nearly died because he dropped everything to help but okay.

Osiris is just a kid...

Introducing a First Nations hero just to kill him off and give his stuff to a white dude sucks.

#25

Alan's out of the spaceguy zone and doing his own thing.

Almost halfway and the threads are still only starting to link up.

#26

I cannot get enough of Vic and Renee being friends with the Black Marvels. It's very sweet!

Tot my friend Tot :)

This is just a nice moment for them.

#27

I'm very into how Evil Skeets is drawn. He manages to be expressive despite having no moving features, it's a good trick.

Ohhh no it's now. I thought I had another issue, but no, this is the turning point.

#28

THE QUESTIONS!!! Love how they're heckling Kate together.

Kate is so cool.

Oh right, the spaceguys are still here.

#29

The way the mad science island handles mental illness generally sucks, but it's almost hitting at something interesting with Will being forced off his medication for the sake of "creativity".

#30

Get out of here Bruce.

I am going to cry!

#31

I don't even dislike the spaceguys really, but cmon, more of Ralph or Nat would've been better.

Ralph's still a detective even at his lowest! Strong foreshadowing.

#32

Uh oh, Ralph.

#33

Ohhh Charlie.

Him hallucinating Myra? Only able to admit he loved her at the very end?? It takes me out!

Almost all of his dialogue is straight from the O'Neil run. Rucka describes rereading the entire run just to write this issue because he had to get this right, and it shows.

There's a reason I consider O'Neil and Rucka the essential Question writers, and all the other takes to be interesting sidenotes.

#34

The kids aren't doing so well.

aaaaaaaa

#35

Hands you a picture of Nat. Hands you a picture of Nat. Hands you a picture of Nat.

Lex is the best villain in 52 and it isn't even close to a competition.

#36

AAAAAAA

Fuck dude! Nothing coherent to say here! Look at them!

#37

Wild emotional roller coaster for me as I go from Renee agony to cheering about Booster. My first read of this was a Time.

It's such a fun mystery. I can confirm it works if you know nothing about comics and are just along for the ride, and it comes together so well on the reread.

Mayor Ollie!

#38

AAAAAAA

"I'm afraid of who I'll become without you..." How am I meant to be normal about this!

I had to read this in two pieces because it made me need to get up and pace. It has done this every time I have read it. I am physically incapable of being normal about this.

Head in my hands. Comics are good and worth reading actually.

[chattegeorgiana]

I admit I didn't really like SasuKarin back then but I decided to give it a chance after reading On Sasuke Uchiha and his bonds with Itachi Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Karin Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno and your posts concerning them. I still don't ship them but my opinion has changed of it a lot and I actually think those two had a better chance at becoming a pair. But I think what raised my respect for it even more was their fan children. I have a soft spot for fan children so it's not really a surprise, but they are all so cute and beautiful! My personal favorites are Akari Uzumaki and the U-Twins! Speaking of the U-Twins, you and Pumiih did an awesome job on them! They look so cool and mysterious just like their parents and I love what they are meant to represent! They're hairstyles also remind me of Madara so that's funny to me lol. I also really like the idea of Sasuke growing his hair out into a ponytail to honor Itachi. The side shavings on his hair makes him even cooler in my opinion. I also noticed something. I don't know know how to properly explain it but I'll try. We see more male Uchiha clan members than female (despite there being some such as Naomi, Izumi, and Mikoto) and we see more female Uzumaki clan members than male (despite there being some such as Ashina, Nagato, and Naruto). It's almost as if those certain genders hold the more importance. So I think it's interesting that it's reversed with the U-Twins. Sorry if I didn't explain it well (couldn't really find the right words) but all in all, I'm excited to see what you'll do with them in the future, make sure you don't rush, take your time and rest, and again, awesome job! 💜❤️

Anon, I don't know who you are, but first of all THANK YOU for your kind and introspective message.

I want to say this is one of the messages that definitely won my heart because you SAW what I meant to do. You explained everything PERFECTLY! That's exactly what I wanted to do. A "gender roles swap" to show that change that is meant to bring in more ways than one.

Because while I do express these changes through my preferred ships, I never really forgot about the CORE elements of what made the Naruto story so beloved, and one of that is the clans & the shinobi system.

Their design have a thought about element from the very strand of hair to their overall design... I don't know if you know me for a long time or not, but one of the things I'm obsessed about is symbolism. So when I create something, there's a symbolic meaning behind almost everything!

When studying Literature, symbolism has been one of my favorite parts. I just love how one can transmit certain themes, ideas, beliefs etc in a symbolic way.

I feel as if this manages to stay with the reader/viewer better. It somehow enters your soul.

Being part of the Shinachiku Kosen team & doing Kaika myself, I can tell you that both Akari & the U twins have a great deal of symbolism behind them & were created with much love.

I know people don't taste SK that good, especially given how the great metas of the past about them has been lost. I only touched in that analysis you mentioned like a small, surface-level way.

If you would've been here in the past when Skania or Homusubi wrote their metas (both great known names in the SK fandom), you would've at least been able to understand where the SK fandom comes from. Or came. There aren't many left anyway.

You don't have to ship them, ofc.

I didn't particularily do it either in the beginning, but then when I saw the symbolism that was building up, Sasuke awakening such power to protect Karin and their similar backgrounds, I couldn't help but fall for the possibility of it. Plus, the comedic act of it. It was something different about them. But alas...

Once again thank you for your kind and introspective message! I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. And trust me, as a writer-wanna be, it lit my soul on fire to see someone properly getting the "underneath beneath the underneath" I was trying to show there. Gives me a lot of mood to keep pushing through this, even if I'm so late with how I planned for the project to go & all that. But hey, adulting will somehow do that with your plans lol. This year has been quite busy on a personal level for me. But now things start to look up, so I should be able to soon get back to it & bring about all this vision I had in my mind to life. So thank you once again for your message and your interest in Kaika! All the best,

Chatte.

[thelittlestspider]

10, 11, and 18 for the weird writer ask game, go !

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

there were definitely some pieces that made me feel like 👀😭😫😖. most of the ones that made me feel like i was being liquified were short stories, and the other was tender is the flesh by agustina bazterrica. which is a book i will never be able to forget lol. (if you look it up make sure you check for trigger warnings, because it's very graphic).

idk if i'd say my own writing haunts me. a lot of the time it seems like the best writing i do is where i'm minding my own business, and a line of dialogue drops in my head seemingly gifted from god. then i never get it again lol. it's the weirdest thing.

like a week or so ago i was trying to sleep at like 3am and this entire dialogue exchange for landslide materialized out of nowhere, and i was like i have to get this down or it'll be lost forever.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

i'm so bad at killing off characters because i get so attached to them. but in terms of having to cut a character because it's not working, it's disheartening because i love them, but usually they just end up coming back in another story.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

He knows it's childish and sickeningly naive to fall for a woman like Carter, but he can't help it. And he knows Javier feels it, too. His lips purse as tears pinprick his eyes.

In a queer twist of fate, this last piece of innocence he hadn't even thought still existed, has been reserved for this. And if Carter will have it, they will trust it to them, and hope Carter won't crush it.

okay so i want to get this out of the way: this isn't about virginity. i'm probably going to botch this terribly, but it's more about how like you might have a life where it's all about surviving, where life just takes and takes until the joy is almost nonexistent.

then one day someone helps you, or does something to give you back some of that joy, and in that moment life doesn't feel *as* miserable.

so what peter's feeling right now is that basically he always kind of thought dying would've been better than working for alastair, because alastair made their lives twisted and horrible and they had zero choice in anything. but carter could've killed them and they didn't. now they have choices, now there's room for joy. and they want to share it with carter.

(it's also partly inspired by innocence by avril lavigne. which is a song that i think about sometimes.)

[allinmycorner]

Welcome to Dancing With the Stars Season 32!

No longer under the specter of the writers strike as the WGA ratified the new contract right before the live show started, this season opened with a space themed opening as Alfonso searched the galaxy for his new co-host - he had been gone so long, he even missed Bruno! But he picks up Julianne and they go get the dancers as they return to the ballroom for the rest of the opening number, which looked amazing.

Alfonso has taken over the main hosting duties and Julianne is in the skybox and I find they really mirror the Tom/Erin dynamic. So far, I'm digging it.

They acknowledged Len's death and paid him a nice tribute as they renamed the mirrorball trophy after him. Alfonso said there would be a longer tribute to Len later in the season so that there is something to look forward to.

With all that said, let's check out this season's stars and see how they did for their first dances of the season!

Matt and Koko: I think Matt was unfairly kicked off. He didn't deserve the low scores he got - he tied with Harry and he definitely danced better than Harry. I remember being impressed by his cha-cha. Not the greatest but not the worst. I don't want to think this had anything to do with the fact Matt left the show when he learned it was a struck show by the WGA but it does seem a bit fishy that he's the first one to get kicked off.

(I also didn't realize it right away - I had to read it in an article - but there appears to be no judges' save this season. The article hinted that it could come back later but not right now).

Charity and Artem: Charity is our token Bachelor/Bachelorette contestant this cycle and she's already the front runner. Her tango was pretty good, especially for week 1. But there are plenty of others right behind her so I hope that this doesn't turn out to be another runaway season where you can see the winner from the first dance.

Ariana and Pasha: I've never really watched Vanderpump Rules but even I knew about "Scandoval," where Ariana discovered her longterm boyfriend cheating with her best friend. But she's putting that behind her and giving Charity a run for her money. She and Pasha have a good chemistry and her tango showed great promise. It might be an Ariana/Charity fight to the finish.

Jason and Daniella: Jason is the male frontrunner right now. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting him to be as good as he was on Week 1 but he's got moves! And some good hip action right out of the gate, allowing him to nail the cha-cha. I'm sure that will also come in handy during the next show, which is Latin Night. I'm excited to see what happens and I hope he can continue to wow us.

Lele and Brandon: I'll admit I'm not familiar with Lele but she seems fun to watch. She also handled the tango well. She has a few things to work on but I think with Brandon as her couch, she could go pretty far in this competition. It will be interesting to see what happens when she dances a traditional ballroom dance and not a Latin one. I think that might be telling about how she adapts and I look forward to it.

Adrian and Britt: Football players tend to do well on this show and it seems Adrian is primed to follow their steps. He and Britt seemed to have a good rhythm with their salsa. I know there's some controversy over his casting but it doesn't seem to be affecting him yet. I also noticed Daniel Durant in the audience - Britt is now dating her former partner and he was there to cheer his girlfriend on during the premiere. How sweet!

Xochitl and Val: I do wonder if Xochitl would've been scored a bit higher if she hadn't come out first. But she kicked everything off and did great with the cha-cha for a first time dancer. She's also the youngest contestant this season and referenced Zendaya when she saw that Val was her partner. Xochitl does have a lot of energy and that could work against her in some of the slower dances. But I think Val will be able to rein her in for them.

Mira and Gleb: Mira was another contestant I was surprised by. I didn't think she would be bad but she was better than I expected. She looked very nervous during the opening and when she was in the skybox so I was afraid that would cause her to be a little too stiff. But once she and Gleb took to the floor, she delivered a fluid cha-cha. There are still some things to work on but she definitely has promise.

Barry and Peta: Greg Brady's got moves! He and Peta work well together, though she was worried about his hips. He's still got some work to do on them but otherwise he handled the foxtrot like a champ. He danced to "Sunshine Day" from the Brady Bunch (of course) and brought joy to everyone in the ballroom. He's coming for friend Donny Osmond and he might just beat him to be the oldest winner on the show.

Jamie Lynn and Alan: Jamie Lynn had a good first outing with her tango. Alan seems like a good match for her and while be able to coach her well. I do agree with the judges that she is likely standing in her own way. Even she knows she can be her own worst critic. I think once she silences the voices in her head and focuses on having fun while dancing, she could pull away from the center of the pack.

Mauricio and Emma: I don't really know Mauricio (but I recognize his wife Kyle Richards) but he seems pretty personable. His jive wasn't terrible and he managed it well for a non-dancer. Clearly there's plenty for him to work on. I don't know if he ended up in the bottom two because of his dance or because he may not have as many fans as the others, especially with all the rumors about him possibly cheating on Kyle floating around. I guess we'll see what happens in the next show.

Alyson and Sasha: I love Alyson but she's not the greatest dancer. She and Sasha have a good rapport together so maybe he can help her improve from this salsa. But I worry that her time on the show may be short. There's only so far the fan vote can carry you. But if you don't have the scores, you can easily go. So I'm just going to enjoy her while she lasts.

Harry and Rylee: Like Lele, I had no clue who Harry was prior to the show. But I can tell why he's become a favorite. He's funny and personable and pretty easy on the eyes. There were even jokes about him just opening his shirt to save the dance. But that's only going to get him so far. Hopefully Rylee can find his groove and get him to improve. I'm going to chalk this week up to first time nerves on both their parts - even though Rylee has competed and was on DWTS Juniors, it must still be nerve-wracking to jump to the big leagues.

Tyson and Jenna: First, welcome back, Jenna! Two, oh, Tyson! I think maybe he got a little too nervous and so his cha-cha wasn't as great as it could've been. But hopefully the only way to go is up! I think if he focuses a bit more and really trusts Jenna, he could go far in this competition.

So that was the first week of competition! So far I'm rooting for Jason, Xochitl, Ariana, Tyson and Alyson. How about you? Who are you rooting for?

See you all for Latin Night!

[lovingonrepeat]

Paint It White // Liu Yangyang

Day three of my Kinktober // NCT 2020 Project

DAY 3: Yangyang + mirror sex → “You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are.”

Word count: 1.7k || Genre: smut

Warnings: femdom, mirror sex, semi public sex, edging, brat taming, punishment, begging, restraints, hair pulling, finger sucking, cum eating

This work is completely fictional. Feedback is welcome. Hate will be blocked. Thank you!

(credit x)

Note to self, thank Taemin.

If Yangyang was honest, he would realize how this was all his fault. He wouldn't have tried to play with your thigh and get you hot and bothered while you were eating lunch with the WayV boys. He wouldn't have sent you those dirty texts, trying to get a rise from you while you were watching a movie in the dorm with everyone. He would've listened to you when you told him to stop trying to grind into you while you were in the crowded SM elevator. And he definitely wouldn't have grabbed your ass when he thought he saw a staff member looking at you.

He knew that you were getting irritated at his actions, but that's what he was counting on. He was looking for you to finally break, so when you snapped and dragged him into the empty practice room, locking the door behind you and looking at him with fire in your eyes, he couldn't stop the thrill that coursed straight through him.

It was all Yangyang's fault, and he loved it.

He thought he had everything figured out, but he wasn't expecting you to do this. You had managed to take a quick look at the schedule posted outside the practice rooms before choosing this one, specifically for the fact that Taemin had been the last one to use it. You went straight for the ties he'd been using for his Criminal promotions as soon as the door was locked, and you felt the way arousal coursed through you as you saw the wide eyed look he gave you.

And that's how Yangyang ended up here, clothes long gone and forced onto his knees with his hands tied behind his back. He's set up right in front of the mirror as you play with him, embarrassment shooting through him as you force him to watch himself.

He can't control his moans, desperate to be able to reach out and pull your bra and panties off so that he can see you better, and so that he wasn't the only one fully exposed like this. But he can't. All he can do is moan and shake and become all consumed by the way you're stroking him.

It's so much and not enough at the same time, the way you jerk him off fast just to slow down the instant he starts to get close. It's maddening, and he can't help but buck into your touch, hoping that maybe he can prevent you from depriving him of yet another high.

You notice the way that he can't seem to catch his breath, gulping on air as he silently prays that you'll have mercy on him.

You won't.

"Ready to give in yet?" You ask, not slowing down your movements as you build him up to another high he won't get to release.

He shakes his head rapidly, and his wise crack is cut off by a moan as you give him a couple extra hard pumps for that. When he finally composes himself enough to speak, his voice comes out ragged and broken.

"Go to hell."

You lean close, pulling on his bound wrists so he falls back into your chest a bit. You move your grip down to allow him to grab your hand between his fingers, and he holds onto it for dear life. It's a tender moment between your otherwise devastating actions, and it makes him feel safe, despite being vulnerable to you in the most intimate way possible.

When you speak, it's directly into his ear, ghosting along the shell and making his entire body shiver with the sweet tone of your voice saying something so sinful.

"Baby, you're already in hell."

He groans at your words, and at the way you just keep touching him. He's getting so close, and if would only keep going, maybe he can get there.

"You know," you tell him, starting to slow down as you notice the signs of his high. "This practice room is free the rest of the day, and the door's locked. I could do this forever."

You slow your hand almost completely, giving him hard and deliberate strokes to emphasize your point. He groans, frustration boiling over as he slumps forward. His head rests on the mirror, with his sweaty and too long hair hanging in his eyes. He can't get enough air, gasping and fogging up the mirror with his lust filled exhales. The sight is extremely erotic, and you can't stop the rush of arousal that courses through you.

It makes you want to wreck him even more.

You move your hand away from his wrists, bringing it up to tangle into his hair. You give his hair a tug, pulling his head up to stare right in his own eyes as he gasps from the pain. He cries out as he sees his frame in the reflection, with his disheveled hair and sweaty body and wild eyes and his dick that's so, so hard. His mouth hangs open, letting out loud, broken moans as your hand increases its pace again, building him up to yet another high he won't experience. His sounds echo off the walls of the dance studio, and you lean in so your chin rests on his shoulder.

“You’d better be quiet, Yangyang. Or everyone’s going to know what a naughty, little slut you are.”

He bites his lip hard as he whimpers, trying desperately to muffle his moans as your words send a shiver through him. But he's not able to hold his sounds back for long as he starts to get overwhelmed again.

"Shit, shit, shit," he sobs as he feels the pleasure start to overtake him again. You plant soft kisses onto the back of his shoulder as he shakes under you.

"Is there something you wanna say?" You ask, smirking against his skin as you feel him nod hard above you.

"Yes, yes, yes. Please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

You grin widens, and you give him a little nip on his back that makes his entire body jump. But when you start to slow your hand again, he panics.

"What? Why? I said sorry. Why? Please?"

"What are you sorry for, baby?"

He groans, beyond frustrated as you slow your movements to allow him enough clarity of mind to answer your question. He tries to drop his head and tear his eyes away from his own reflection, but your grip on his hair stops him, only serving to intensify his arousal with the way it causes his scalp to sting.

"Well?" You ask him.

"Uh," he starts. "I'm sorry for being a brat, and I'm sorry for not listening, and I'm sorry for taking $10 from you without asking first, but just please."

He's babbling at this point, and you're not even sure if he's aware of all the words coming out of his mouth. You chuckle, satisfied with his answer as you move to place a kiss on his temple.

"There you go, baby. That wasn't so hard."

You increase the speed of your pumps again, and he lets out a hiss that turns into a high pitched whimper as the pleasure starts to overtake him for what feels like the umpteenth time. You see the way his eyes look around frantically, not sure whether he should look at the way your hand is pumping him or the way you're looking at him with pure lust burning in your eyes or watch the way he's falling apart. The sight just makes everything so much more intense, and he can't fathom how has hasn't exploded yet, and decides that it's solely because you just know his body too, too well. His breathing picks up as moans fall involuntarily from his lips, echoing through the empty walls of the dance studio.

"You can let go now," you tell him, moving your hand from his hair to firmly grip his jaw and loving the way his eyes all but roll into the back of his head at your words. "Go ahead and paint the mirror white with your cum."

He orgasms with a shout, shaking and trembling through his orgasm as the hot white spurts of his release shoot onto the glass and your hand. It feels like it goes on forever for him, wave after wave of earth shattering pleasure after being kept on edge and denied for so long. He collapses into your body when he's finally done, resting his body weight on you as he kisses your neck. You bring your hand down to his tied ones again, allowing him to hold your clean hand in his as he comes back down to Earth.

"You okay?" You ask him, and your heart melts when he flashes you that thousand watt smile of his.

"More than okay," he replies. He's sleepy, but you can hear the tinge of satisfaction in his voice.

You reach forward, swiping your already dirty hand through the mess he made on the mirror. He starts to say something that you're sure is probably smug and will get him into trouble again, but you don't give him the chance, sticking your stained fingers into his pretty mouth.

He's a bit taken aback at the action, but obeys immediately, sucking around your fingers and humming contently to himself.

"By the way, I knew it was you that took that $10. I cannot believe you framed Hendery for it."

He laughs around your fingers, and you laugh too, placing a small kiss onto his nose as you do. When you take your fingers out of his mouth, you wrap your arms around him, gently guiding him to lay down with his arms still bound behind him. He sits up on his elbows, watching you curiously as you reach around to unclip your bra and pull your underwear off your body. You straddle his, but not before collecting more of his release onto your fingers for him to suck off. He groans around your fingers, and looks up at you with lust filled, obedient eyes.

"Now, we have this room for a couple more hours. So now it's your turn to make me feel good."

Tagging @mingishoe ​ @armysantiny ​ @domreaderrecs @chickenkatxu ​@lucas-wongs @drippinlovetalk @brooklynalpha @wildernessuntothemselves @loviejaehyun @skzctnightnight @capriccio-con-espressione @euphoricsunflowers @nct-writers as requested! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for future fics!

Read all of my fics HERE!

[imthepunchlord]

After reading everything that both sides have said in asks and in your notes, I think I’m on Team Scarabella myself. One of the big reasons for me too that I haven’t seen any other fans bring up yet is that I’d simply like to see the in-show “what if Alya was Ladybug” premise from Hack-San done better. What-ifs in a show’s canon can be a lot of fun to watch if the writers understand what they’re doing, but unfortunately ML has a habit of not delivering on that front. With the LS kwami swap, we didn’t get to see Adrien learn to take Ladybug’s disposition seriously and ease her load in future battles, having Lady Noire there to support him on a level he doesn’t do for her, with his only takeaway at the end of it all being, enquote, “I'm not cut out to be Ladybug, that's for sure! 😃” With Master Fu fighting Hawkmoth + Jade Turtle concept, while he was able to outquip Hawkmoth with some biting remarks at the beginning, he was quickly trapped with his own use of Shell-ter, which is really not something you wanna see from or makes sense to see from the Guardian who should understand the pros and cons of each Miraculous under his repertoire, especially considering his history with the Peacock and his dismissal of the Order’s silly rule of not using Miraculouses themselves. And now with Alya using the Earrings, along with the oddness of her jumping from name to name since she landed on Rena Rouge easily enough in Sapotis, you’d expect far more physical and mental competence during the beginning from someone who has used the Fox on a number of occasions, especially since she did all that hand-to-hand combat in Heroes’ Day and the Fox in general requires you to think of a Mirage to best suit the current situation. I’d expect fumbling like that if it actually was her very first time using any Miraculous, and even then only if akumas and sentimonsters weren’t a consistent occurrence yet since she fell into being Rena Rouge pretty smoothly all things considered despite it being her first time. And it just so happens that these would be the conditions if she got the Earrings from the get-go in Origins, which is where FFtB starts, so yeah lol 😁

That is why I don't quite count Hack-San as a proper "what if Alya had the earrings!" as what we get isn't true to her character and seems OC at times. I would say, it would work if this was her first time using a miraculous at all, but not so when she's been using the Fox for a while and now in the know.

Alya stressing worrying over people; that's pretty out of character. Even after receiving a miraculous, she never stressed about people getting upset. It actually makes it come off that Alya thinks that all LB users are supposed to worry over other people and not factor that this is just who Marinette is. At most, I expected to see her nervous but also really excited. She had a lot of admiration for LB and while I do think that respect dropped learning that its Marinette, I would anticipate that Alya's over all going in confident and certain.

I know I said it before, but I'll say it again as it still applies: Alya would totally already have a name down for her Ladybugsona a loooong time ago. Her love of heroes, her big imagination, and self confidence, she would've imagined herself as LB even as early as s1.

She also came off way too aggressive with Chat. Like, ok, yes, he's coming at you with Cataclysm and is attempting murder, but you're also trying to establish yourself as a friend that he can work and trust. Going over the top and kicking his ass is not the way to do it. There are better ways than going "See! I can kick your ass and take your miraculous whenever I want, but I wont!" Alya can be all sorts of pushy and inconsiderate, but that to me felt OC. Alya does have a sense of how to handle people who are upset and can get people to rally around her. She's won over Marinette with this in Origins, has become the leader of the girl squad; unless this strictly only applies to girls, Alya should've handled things with Chat better, only taking extremes when he's really doing something far too extreme. And with how easily she was able to handle him coming to try and murder her, she didn't need to take things so far and so over the top.

And then there's the factor of her easily falling for a trap and the implication that she can't fill Marinette's shoes, that Marinette still is needed to step in and save the day and it really can be ONLY her... yeah Hack-San was not good. By its set up, LB shouldn't be easy to use by just anyone, but for Marinette's mental and emotional sake, it should be set up that Alya could do really well if it came to it.

Anyway, a lot of these issues I would keep in and they'll be happening around Origins and other early s1 eps, as it's more fitting for them to happen there than s4 where Alya's been Rena for about 3 seasons now.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Kym!! Okay first off, that post is freaking amazing! I'm astounded by your insight and how in depth you went with it and you are truly a gift for it! I can't believe we got all of that. You are phenomenal. Secondly, that picture of Oliver was hilarious, I laughed so hard at it.

Question! You touched on it briefly about how the colour/costume theory that comes into play are talked about in concept and production meetings but I'm curious (if you know) how much of this comes from the writers/directors and what is just decided by the stylists. Take the plaid for example - is that something specifically that the writers/directors would say they want to incorporate as foreshadowing and that they want the actors in it? Or is it much more vague and then the costume department take it and run with it?

Same with like the universe or dinosaur theme. Does something like that come directly from the writers/directors in particular? Or is it more like - give Chris a kids theme and reoccur it constantly through the season? Same with colours - would the costume dept be getting notes that specify 'x' actor is feeling 'y' in this episode or do they simply take that away from the script themselves and colour coordinate accordingly.

I guess I'm just really curious how much of it is specifically discussed and pushed down from writers/directors and how much of it comes from the costume departments analysis themselves.

Sorry for the long ask, if you can't tell I find this so fascinating and have so many questions on the whole process. As always I absolutely love reading anything you have to say, its always so interesting! 🧡🧡

Aww stop it, you're making me blush

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

But seriously, I'm so pleased you enjoyed reading it and found it useful and that my silly picture of Oliver made you laugh - once i'd typed the words I couldn't get the image out of my head, so I needed to make sure everyone else saw it too😂😂

I had so much fun writing that post - it was nice to step back into that world for a little bit and put my knowledge to good use!

With regards to the second part of your post, it really depends is the answer!!! Not helpful I know, but its the truth because it varies from production to production. Sometimes you'll get producers and writers with very specific ideas about how they want to tell a story, and the characters they've created, other times they'll be pretty loose and let you come up with stuff - they might then veto it because they feel it doesn't work for the character or for the sake of the narrative, but often its because they know their creation better than anyone at the point when these concept and production meetings are taking place but may not be able to articulate it - they just know its wrong for whatever reason - perhaps I as designer haven't understood where they're trying to get to, or perhaps I have but they've been toying with changes they want to make to flesh something out further. It's no different to me as a designer wanting to put a character into a specific colour or outfit purely based on a feeling thats hard to explain exactly why it's speaking to you, but you just know that it tells the story and really sells the character.

Using specific 911 examples; the decision to put Eddie in lots of khaki/ green and tan colours will have come about in one of these production meetings - the writers and producers would possibly have come up with the use of those colours, while I as a costume designer would also have been thinking about the quick and easy character establishing and storytelling of these colours especially because of eddies introduction to the audience ('he's served multiple tours in Afghanistan') so even though the producers may not have said it outright in one of these meetings (they may have only given notes on Eddie as a new character at this point- which would've read something along the lines of;

'Eddie is the new probationary firefighter, introduced to the 118 but Bobby, he's an ex military combat medic, who received a silver star. He has a disabled son - Christopher - who is the most important thing in his world (if the roles had already been cast by this point, they may have specified that Christopher has CP). Eddie is a single father who has moved to LA from El Paso to make a fresh start for himself and his son. He will initially come into conflict with Buck, who feels threatened by Eddies competency...'

As a designer, just that one paragraph of description is enough to give me plenty of ideas - I can pull from it that he's ex military - which makes me think about colour and the way he wears his clothes - he'll always look neat and presentable with clean and shiny shoes etc, his son is the most important thing, - this automatically makes me think about his clothes being functional and not necessarily super fashionable - its all about practicality, not looking good. We also know he's come from El Paso - so we can play on the Texas connection - give him a subtle country/ cowboy vibe through plaid and check patterns. putting him in jeans and giving him boots that hint towards cowboy boots (without actually being cowboy boots!), especially in the beginning - as he settles into LA life, then the cowboy vibe can be toned down as can the military colouring - both things we've seen happen - his colour palette has shifted subtly away from being quite so green and beige and we've seen more block colours, dark blues and reds and creams as well as saying goodbye to the plaid shirts (the last time he was in a plaid shirt was in S3E12 according to my spreadsheet!). So you can see how much you can pull out of a couple of sentences of character description to use as a starting point for Eddies wardrobe, obviously this will then be agreed on and honed in production meetings - the writers may go away and choose to pinpoint specific scenes where they'd like to see him in something specific - such as the red and black shirt he wears when Buck introduces him to Carla - did you know this is a specific type of plaid known as buffalo plaid, it was created in the 1850's by a company called Woolrich woollen mills - based in Pennsylvania and it became synonymous with Americana workwear for cowboys and lumberjacks from then on - a perfect symbol for Eddie at that point - he is Americana - ex military with roots in cowboy country!

When it comes to themes like the plaid theme I've picked up on, thats likely to have come from the costume department and may not have even been intended to start with - having spent far too much time playing spot the plaid shirt during my rewatches (and another shirt theory I have which I promise will be posted in the new year!) I think it was an accident that they've decided to run with once they realised they were doing it - its something that happens more than you'd think!

the dinosaurs and space theming will definitely have come about through collaboration - I think its most likely that the producers and writers went in to the concept meetings and production meetings wanting some sort of theming - initially around the return of Shannon (because I'm pretty sure thats when the first dinosaur appears!) but the decisions to use dinosaurs and space themes would've been developed in those meetings - a fully collaborative process between them and the set and costume designers- they probably tossed loads and loads of ideas around before settling on dinosaurs and space, we see a dinosaur drawing appear in Christophers room when Shannon is introduced in 2x07, but there is also a rocket clock on the wall of Christophers room and its only as seasons 2, 3 and 4 progress that those eagle eyed among us would be able to spot the connection between Shannon (and later Ana) and dinosaurs and the connection between Buck and space and I will say that if we see the space stuff reappearing in 5b then I will bow down to the genius of the set and costume teams (not that I wasn't already!) because means only one thing - that Buddie has been the intended endgame for longer than many think and they've been subtly telling us from the start because that rocket ship clock is like the literal embodiment of a count down to Buddie!!!!

Sorry got a bit sidetracked there!!!

But basically what all of i've talked about amounts to is that the conversations will be ongoing, especially around colour and what a character is thinking or feeling (because they change stuff right up to just before the episode airs!!) but the general arcs, themes and colour stories will have been decided in pre production!

Wow this ended up so long!! Hopefully this has answered your questions, but feel free to ask me more - I always love getting your asks because they're so juicy!! 😁

💜💜💜

[dankovskaya]

i read that you post about Jason not necessarily thinking of himself as a person or "alive" truly after his resurrection and I think it would make sense as to why he would flounder after that arc since he doesn't really have a reason to continue existing anymore, and it would have been fun if a writer touched on that and maybe tried to give him a more long lasting purpose since imo the mob boss gig wasn't sustainable long term (sorry but there are like 10 blogs with correct Jason takes and yours is one so I had to come to you inbox lol)

Thank you for deeming me one of the 10 Tolerable Jasonites <3 I went off the fucking walls with this for no reason so I'm gonna drop a read more lmao.

But yeah tea I can't even remember the next time he pops up chronologically after UTRH (I think that's what we're talking about) but I bet it's either the stupid ass Titans Tower shit or the stupid ass Tentajason shit lmfao. Either way it's SOOO transparent that neither writer knew what the fuck to do with him or put absolutely any thought into what his mental state would've been not only after all of that mess but especially after the ending where it seems like he should be dead, but he survives. (Cause they just wanted him to be crazy angry murder guy and didn't care.) Like even that could've been an interesting character moment? If they had CARED.

In the movie he just waits for death but Bruce saves him by force (if I recall), but in the comic, he just gets incapacitated with a hole in his neck and then the bomb goes off. We never see HOW he survived. After Lost Days we could believe that Talia was closely monitoring his little adventure and therefore was able to have someone pull him out of the rubble to save him or something similar. But did he want to survive? Like, he was setting himself up in Gotham, yes, but that was largely just to prove a point and show that he could. Did he really have plans following the hypothetical of Bruce's choice at the end? Cause it seems unlikely. The bomb itself shows that he was willing to make it the end of the road for all three of them. But he survived. Maybe it was instinct! Training! That sure as hell carried him far when he first resurrected. Even if in his mind he was convinced that failure meant (a return to) death, maybe he fought like hell to live! Against his own damn will! Maybe he was terrified of dying a second time because maybe he remembered the first time better than he would care to admit! Maybe he's just that stubborn!

I can see him falling off the map for so long that everyone thinks he really is dead again. (After the wax figure debacle I doubt Bruce could REALLY believe it without a body, but his complete absence for so long after causing such a ruckus looks grim.) He could take a long time to just think and think and wonder why the hell he's still alive. And he probably won't find an answer. He's just doing nothing. What is there to do? It's almost like he's gone catatonic again! Maybe Talia realizes he's not gonna snap out of it anytime soon and slips a little piece of info his way. Something like the kind of problems he compulsively solved in Lost Days. He probably doesn't give a fuck at first--if he barely has it in him to keep feeding himself, why should he care about whatever trouble someone else is in?--but when he actually gets around to reading it (and who knows why he does) he finally feels something again. Sympathy. And some cold ass anger that makes him want to puke his guts out! Despite barely even lifting a finger to ensure his continued survival for months and months on end, (rotting in some safehouse like the corpse that he is,) just like that, he's dressed and ready to go within the hour, calling Talia for a jet.

Because he finally remembers! It's not about Bruce--it shouldn't have been, at least, even as hurt as he is. It isn't even about himself. It's always been about this. Just because he died doesn't mean there isn't still a job to do. Why else would he have come back?

Aaand scene. Post-utrh Jason is fixed. Not much healthier, probably, but at least he's not a boring whiny maniac.

[shinazugawaswife]

If I Could Fly - Harry Styles

This was just a cute little thing I had in mind and I really didn’t use that much time on it so it’s not perfect, but I still think it’s sweet and I hope you like it<3

Summary: Harry has to do a show on your anniversary, but he still finds a way to express his love to you

This is just pure fluff

Gif’s not mine, creds to the owner

You and Harry had been together for a little less than a year when you wrote If I Could Fly together. You were sitting by the Piano Harry had placed in his living room around 2 am and the song almost wrote itself as you looked into each other's eyes, feeling like the world was yours to conquer. Maybe a little bit of alcohol had been consumed through the night, but when the song was finished after approximately thirty minutes and you stared into the green forest of Harry's eyes and he the blue ocean of yours (I'm really sorry if you don't have blue eyes I just thought it fitted), you were both sure that you wanted to spend a very long time together.

You wrote songs for a living. Writing them, selling them, and then often seeing them on the hit lists a couple of months later. You were talented and you had written many songs throughout the last couple of years, but never had you written a song with as much emotion as when you and Harry made If I Could Fly.

When Harry's fellow bandmates asked him one night about a week later if he had any new songs up his sleeve, Harry played them the beautiful song the two of you had written together. Both Louis, Niall, and Liam absolutely loved it and immediately started trying to convince him to put it on the album they were in the middle of making. Of course, they would've respected if Harry said no because they knew the song meant a lot to him. Actually, the song meant absolutely everything to Harry, and that was why he wanted it on the album. Because he was so in love with you that he wanted to scream it so loud that the whole world would've been able to hear. It had been physically impossible for him to do that though, so what better way to tell the world than through a song?

You were excited to see all One Direction's fans react to the song and once it was released many of them quickly figured out that it was about you and Harry's relationship because your names were the only ones on the credits given to the writers of the song.

Now, five years later, you and Harry still loved each other more than anything and you knew that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. You'd had If I Could Fly on repeat for many occasions during the last five years and the song had never failed to make you smile. That's why whenever you were sad you put on the song, whenever you and Harry were in a fight you put on the song, whenever he was on the other side of the world and you missed him like crazy you put on the song, whenever he was only ten minutes away but you still missed him you put the song on, but during the last scenario you would usually play the song on the way to his house.

Harry would do the same, but he would be listening to an old recording on his phone of the day you'd written the song together where your voice would echo beautifully through the speakers instead of the album version with his old bandmates.

The song meant everything to both of you and it had been written with so much love and emotion that it was almost impossible for you to listen to it without your eyes glassing over slightly, and that is exactly why Harry had planned to play it at his concert tonight. It was your six-year anniversary and even though Harry would much rather be cuddled up with you on the couch and watching old movies while drinking expensive wine as you usually did, he had been forced to have a show tonight.

When he had planned his tour many months prior, he had made sure to keep the date of your anniversary off his schedule so that he could grant all his attention to you solely, but his plan had been changed when it had been necessary to cancel one of his shows in London. He'd then been offered to change the date so that thousands of fans wouldn't get disappointed and of course, Harry had immediately said yes, disappointing his fans was the last thing he wanted. When Harry found out that they'd moved the date to today, your anniversary, he regretted the decision though.

Even though you'd told him several times that you really didn't mind he's still been unsure whether to do the show or not. "But I want to be with you" he had pouted like a puppy and your heart had completely melted. "You will be, I'll come to the show and we'll go home and be together afterward" you'd kept reassuring him. You'd always loved to watch Harry perform, so you were always happy when you got the chance to.

You did end up convincing Harry to do the show, but he still felt like he needed to make it up to you and he knew the perfect way how to.

All that led up to this moment, Harry on stage just having finished Sweet Creature, you backstage and the crowd screaming at the top of their lungs. "So," Harry started, the screams of the crowd dying down a bit, "today is a very special day."

"The day you realized you're shit at making jokes" a fan standing in the front line yelled from the crowd which had gone almost quiet. Laughter broke out through the room and Harry tried to look offended but couldn't quite keep his own laughter back. He walked closer to the edge of the stage to look down at the girl who'd yelled and pointed a finger at her once he found her. "I tell very very good jokes" he stated, trying to sound as serious as possible. The whole crowd broke into laughter again and Harry looked up with his mouth agape, "what? Why are you laughing? You shouldn't be laughing, I tell extremely good jokes" he said, playing offended.

He turned to you, standing on the left side of the stage, "y/n, my jokes are good, right?" he almost pleaded. The crowd went absolutely crazy at the mention of your name and you could only laugh in response which made him raise his eyebrows and his eyes widen, "why are you laughing?"

You blew him a kiss which he huffed at and turned to the crowd, "she blew me a kiss as if that makes it better" he rolled his eyes playfully, but the room went loud again as screams filled the air. "Let's get back to the point before my ego starts hurting too much," Harry said, making his fans laugh.

"I'm not good at telling jokes, but I still make you laugh don't I?" He just had to get his point through before continuing, which made the crowd erupt in laughter again. As he was proved right, he was able to continue. You shook your head at his narcissistic ass, but couldn't possibly wipe the huge smile you had on your face off.

"Today is a special day because," he squinted his eyes at the girl who'd offended his jokes before continuing, "six years ago I grew balls big enough to ask this girl out," he said and your heart automatically sped up as the crowd screamed uncontrollably, what was he doing?

"I love her a lot and I want today to be very special for her," he said as another microphone was carried onto the stage and placed beside his. Harry turned to you and motioned for you to come onto the stage as the screams from the thousands of people in the room went crazy. Your eyes widened and you quickly shook your head, whatever he had planned you weren't doing it. You knew Harry and all his "good ideas" and you were not doing something which required you and a microphone and a whole lot of people. Harry put up his finger and spoke to his fans, "one second" before running across the stage and towards you.

When he approached you he didn't say anything, just gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and pulled you onto the stage with him. He placed you in front of the microphone next to his own before holding your hand up in the air, "y/n everyone!"

Being in front of so many people had always made you uncomfortable, but Harry's naturally relaxed personality always shined through in situations like these and you immediately felt more comfortable being next to him. You locked eyes with him as he let your hand back down and he quickly leaned over to give you a peck on the cheek, before turning around and sending a thumps up to his band.

The melody to If I Could Fly started and a smile broke onto your face at the sound of your favorite song. You looked at Harry who was already looking at you with the goofiest smile you had ever seen on his face, and your smile only grew as he started singing the first line of the song.

"If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you" he sang and the crowd went crazy at the sound of the familiar song. His eyes remained on yours though as he continued, "I think I might give up everything, just ask me to."

"Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down" he gave your hand, which he was still holding, a squeeze, "right now I'm completely defenseless."

"For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart For when you're lonely and forget who you are I'm missing half of me when we're apart Now you know me, for your eyes only For your eyes only"

He finished the chorus and gave you a reassuring nod, encouraging you to sing. You eyes didn't leave his once as you sang,

"I've got scars even though they can't always be seen And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down Right now I'm completely defenseless" He joined you as the song came to the chorus again and your voices melded together beautifully and you knew you were never gonna forget this moment, with the screaming fans in the background. Harry was a very private person towards the public, so you knew that him presenting you to the crowd like this meant a lot and even though you'd been taken aback by his request to sing with you, you realized at that moment that there was nothing you loved more than singing with him.

When Harry was just about to start the third verse of the song, he turned his microphone so it was facing you, and let go of your hand to grab your microphone and turning it as well. You were standing face to face as Harry started singing, making your heart almost burst with all the different emotions currently occupying it.

"I can feel your heart inside of mine" he sang and you smiled, his voice had always been the most beautiful sound to you.

"I've been going out of my mind, know that I'm just wasting time" you continued before he finished the verse, "and I hope that you don't run from me."

As you sang the chorus together again, you looked directly into each other's eyes, your faces close as you sang your hearts out. You got lost into the deep depths of his eyes and it was like the rest of the room disappeared, only you and the man who carried your heart present. Harry looked at you and you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. As his eyes pierced into yours, they carried all the love he had for you and as the song ended he embraced you in a tight hug and you couldn't stop the tears welling up in your eyes.

"I love you so much, baby" he whispered into your ear and kissed you on the forehead before letting you go and made sure you returned to the side of the stage safely to watch the rest of the show.

[addictedtostorytelling]

I love all your your answers and all the effort you put into answering everyone's questions, so thank you for that! Do you think there's a chance that they'll kill Brass off? I remember reading that Paul Guilfoyle was only signed on for two episodes and there wasn't any explanation in the last episode as to why he would no longer be appearing, especially since they've got this group dynamic going on for solving the Hodges issue.

hi, anon!

when i first heard that paul guilfoyle was only signed on for two episodes, my initial thought was that they might kill brass off.

however, now that those two episodes have come and gone and the last we saw of brass was in that hotel scene (where he was still very much alive and well), i'm feeling better about his chances of survival.

while i can’t say with 100% certainty that they won’t kill him off, i don’t think it’s likely that they will, for a couple of different reasons:

firstly, in order for tptb to kill him off now, they'd have to do so off-screen, which would be an entirely unsatisfying end for a very beloved character.

secondly, it'd also be weird to kill him at this particular narrative juncture, as the last thing he did was to give hodges the third degree, but there wasn't really any in-story resolution to him doing so, particularly in terms of him having a final interaction with grissom and sara, who are, after all, our perspective characters and the people with whom brass is closest. 

to my mind, if there were going to kill brass, they would've needed to do so on-screen, and they would have had to set it up more so that there'd be some emotional scaffolding. there would have had to be some finality to his last appearance.

while in real life, people do often die suddenly without any sort of “final word” (for good or ill), in fiction, that’s just bad storytelling. there needs to be some kind of groundwork laid so that the surviving characters have something to react to other than just pure shock.

for example, they would have needed to make it so that sara was mad at brass for being so hard on hodges (and that way she’d have guilt because the last interactions they’d had were contentious) or set it up to where brass had started to come around to the idea that hodges might be innocent after the grissoms showed him the dead dog evidence but was still irked about having been dragged into the whole mess (i.e., “fine! i’ll give the guy a break. i just don’t want anymore armed assassins breaking into my house” *cue armed assassins breaking into his house*) so that when he died it would be framed more as a “sacrifice to the truth.”

along those same lines, i also think that if they were going to kill brass, the producers would’ve signed paul guilfoyle for three episodes rather than two so that they could have actually shown his death on-screen and gotten more of an emotional punch out of it. 

while brass is often played for comic relief, paul guilfoyle is a fantastic dramatic actor, so it would’ve been worth every penny to actually let him play out a more fleshed-out death scene on screen.

as for how they might explain brass’s absence from this point forward if not by suddenly killing him off-screen, i’m not sure.

honestly, the reboot has not so far been very concerned with “filling in the blanks” in terms of character logistics—we still know relatively little in terms of concrete details about what the grissoms have been up to since “immortality,” and while we’ve been told that catherine and doc robbins retired, there’s been crickets on the whereabouts of greg, morgan, ecklie, super dave, etc.—so it may be that the writers aren’t really going to offer an explanation of where brass has gone. they might just have him disappear into the television ether.

of course, i’m hoping that the writers at least throw us some kind of bone, like “well, he’s still staying in catherine’s hotel, but he’s not going to be actively involved in the case anymore” or “he was able to move into a retirement community somewhere far away from here, where he and elvis will be safe (and have actual caretakers)” or something.

while such a “one-line farewell” still won’t be entirely satisfying—they did the same thing to him in “immortality” when, after setting the poor guy on fire, the final note on him was just to say (but not show) that he was recovering in the hospital—it would at least be preferable to no mention at all.

anyway, we’ll have to see how they choose to play things.

here’s hoping they’re able to pull off a satisfying resolution to bras’s mini-arc that ends with him safe and well somewhere, even without having to show him.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.