#I've been pretty blocked writing wise lately and i don't want to say I'm going to write it if i know I'm a glacially paced writer

[reluctantbylerblog]

oh no! I'm getting plot bunnies for a byler 13 going on 30 au!! should I write it???

[yooniesim]

So, I got this pretty gross anon last night, right. And me being me, on reflex I start answering it, I go through each part, etc. And then all of a sudden I look up and realize, it's late, I'm tired, and I spent almost an hour writing this reply. I said to myself, dude, what in the fuck are you doing? Why are you wasting your time again? Are you really going to post this vitriol, knowing this person likely doesn't give a flying fuck what you have to say anyway, and their bigoted words could hurt your followers that see it? You know better than this. I just reblogged something yesterday about not dignifying bullshit with a response, and there I was doing just that. The anon was already blocked, so I deleted my post I started. And it felt damn good.

Instead, I think I'm gonna say some of the more important things I was thinking about in a more general way. Cos there are a few things I wanna lay down so there's no misunderstanding or any hope that I will do anything different in the future.

First and foremost. From this point on, I won't be accepting or answering any opinions on who or what I am, identity wise. the fact of the matter is, you don't define who or what someone is. you don't tell me what I am, I tell you, and you either accept it as the truth or you leave. your opinion doesn't determine my reality and never will. I'm at the stage of my life where I'm simply not entertaining any bullshit from observers any longer. I will call myself whatever I please and speak on whatever I feel I should as the person I am & the life I've lived, and you will either deal with that or you just won't be around me. period. the block button is my friend now, and I've taken on the mentality that if I block you, you just don't exist to me anymore. you live your life, I live mine, I just never look at your blog or acknowledge you again. any mature person would do the same.

Secondly, I recently mentioned my features (lips, nose, etc) because I wanted to emphasize I am proud of them despite being mocked my whole life for having them. I've even been mocked for them on here in a bigoted manner because like I said before, my pics have been posted plenty. and there was just a debacle recently with a simblr mocking thick lips, because anti-blackness is a constant undercurrent in simblr. that's why I mentioned them. I emphasized that because I want everyone to know that I'm not ashamed of who I am and never will be, despite the fact that some on here fight tooth and nail to try to make me feel I'm somehow less worthy. they will never succeed with me, but I don't want anyone else to feel ashamed of themselves for how they look either. these features are beautiful and worth being proud of and uplifted.

Finally, I'm going to say again: to all my poc followers, mixed or not, you're worthy, and you should be proud of yourselves too. don't let opinions from terminally online people with no actual life experience cause you any shame about who you are. who your parents are, your genetics, your percentages, it don't matter I couldn't give any less of a fuck. you tell me who you are and your struggles and your pain, and I believe and support you. I'm in your corner, and I can only hope I can give back half the love I've been given during this time. You're valid and your voices are important. That's the most important thing I wanted to say, and if this subject comes up again, that's what I will emphasize repeatedly.

[practically-an-x-man]

Get to know your fic writer asks! God there are SO many good questions in this one, forgive me for the large stack:

1, 4, 11, 19, 20, 26, 33, 35, 45, 51, 55, 69, 72, 77 [Catch and Release]

<3

oooooh my friend this is a FEAST of prompts you are sharing with me!! so excited to dive into this!!

(fair warning, this is... gonna be a long one)

<3

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

Multi-chaptered! Partially because I have too many ideas for my own good, but mainly because the context of a character's relationship feels very important to me and I find it hard to capture that properly in just a oneshot. Even the oneshots I have written, at least so far, all connect in some way to a larger established storyline instead of being truly standalone.

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Reading (I do a lot of that), followed by periods of in-between where I can just let my brain marinate. For example, I just reread the first three Fablehaven books while on this band trip, and combined with entirely too much time spent staring out the window of a bus as we got from place to place, I already have an OC and a storyline cooked up for it.

If I need a smaller-dose burst of inspiration, like to get past the writer's block for a particular chapter, I'll go take my dogs for a nice long walk and let my mind wander for a bit.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

This is admittedly a cop-out, but I have to skip this one for now. I haven't been at my computer in well over a week thanks to this trip, and most of the fics I've been reading lately have been from friends anyway (y'all are amazing writers and your fics were the first in my mind when I read this, but I want to stay neutral about this). Plus I've been up for over a full 24 hours at this point and I really don't have the energy for this question lol

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

Fluff and Angst are tied, which is not a surprise in the slightest. I'm also not great at tagging stuff, so it all gets a little repetitive

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Music is definitely my biggest tie-in, it's everywhere. Fics/chapters titled after songs, music present in the fic, notable lyrics, you name it. Music is a huge part of my life, and it weaves into my writing almost everywhere I go.

Aside from that, I feel like there's a lot of queer and neurodivergency themes in my writing, for the same reason as the music: it's a big part of my life and my worldview, and that bleeds into my writing both intentionally and unintentionally.

Symbolism-wise, I think I work with mythology a lot, as well as themes of birds and flight.

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Hm... that's a tough one. They're all pretty wild in their own way.

I'm inclined to say A Love Once New, just because that one's so long that a lot is contained within it, but it also follows a pretty standard X-Men type formula once you look past the length itself.

I think it's a tie between Smoke and Mirrors and Nom De Guerre, though. Those have some of my most dynamic characters, the most intense and unpredictable villains, a few good twists, and I don't rely on the plots of an established movie (Catch and Release is a good wild ride too, but a lot of that is just No Way Home itself coming into play). I think Desert Song will be pretty wild too, but we're too early into that one for me to reveal my secrets just yet ;)

33. Do you want to be published some day?

Yes! I actually started writing fanfic as a way to hone my skills in writing, with the eventual goal of having something published. I don't intend for writing to be my primary career, but there are definitely a couple ideas that I want to get out there, and I want to write them my way.

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? 

Show their humanity. Give the audience something to relate to. Show the audience a character of unfathomable darkness and they can't relate, at best you just spark a mild intrigue in the angst. But maybe that character does it all to save their younger sister - and you've struck empathy with every older sibling reading. Maybe that character has a favorite pastime, a childhood hobby, a pet, a personal quirk - and you've reached everyone in the audience who has that same quirk.

And once you've tapped into those points of connection, that's when you can play with something deeper than intrigue. It doesn't matter how much magic or power you give your supervillains; if the audience could encounter the same person, or better yet, become the same person through some twist of fate, that's a good villain.

45. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

Both. Sometimes at the same time (or at least I try).

51. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,087,068. I write a lot...

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Ooh, tough one. I think of the canon characters, the Corinthian is my favorite to write. I love writing characters who are charming, and he fits that down to a tee. Plus, it's fun to explore his sense of morality (or lack thereof), since most of the other characters I write for trend towards the morally good. Billy/Four is a lot of fun too, namely in Desert Song - I can't quite articulate why, he's just a lot of fun to write.

Of my OCs, that's a little tougher. There's something unique that I love to write for each of them: Quinn's allegories on gender and disability, Jasper's empathic sense, Rae's bordering-on-foolhardy sense of justice, Katherine's link to mythology, I could keep going. That's partly how I keep myself motivated, really - I explore something new and different with each of them, and it's hard to choose one favorite.

I will say, though, writing Ophelia is a lot of fun. A lot of my characters are fairly spunky, since I like a good strong character to command the narrative, but Ophelia has something unique that makes her spunk a little different from the others. She genuinely doesn't care how she's perceived by others, and it results in some very fun, very daring interactions.

69. What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

I mean... Behind the Scenes. AKA, the first fic I ever wrote and posted. I thought it was rough even then, which is why it went abandoned at 7 chapters, but I'm even more embarrassed about it now that I've grown as a writer. I don't look back at it often, but whenever I do, I'm just reminded of how wholeheartedly rough it is compared to what I write now. I really should delete it or orphan it or something, but I don't want to get rid of it until I've started a rewrite for it. Which might mean I never get rid of it. But embarrassing or not, I don't just want it to be gone - it's not my job to determine peoples' personal preferences, what if there's someone who actually likes it?

Don't read it. But it's there for the people who have read it, just in case.

72. What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Front to back, because I don't write the full thing before I post (I write it by-chapter and rotate my updates). Also, if I wrote my favorite scenes first, I'd probably end up with about as much writing as I have now... but it would go absolutely nowhere. Writing the gradual build, while it does get tedious at times, definitely helps me pull together a clean and unified final product.

77. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Catch and Release] story/chapter? 

I was really happy with some of the flashback sequences. Originally there were only supposed to be a few, to help guide Ophelia into her place in the story, but they went over really well and I just kept having ideas, so I kept it going.

I think my favorite is the one in Chapter 10, where Harry meets Olly under the bleachers shortly after her parents died. I feel like it really showed a lot of both Harry and Olly's character, and the darkness that had begun to spread in them even as they tried to offer each other support. There also was a good bit of foreshadowing of Harry as the New Goblin in that chapter, which I put a lot of thought into.

[you-will-return]

Light, music, pride for the ask!! 🥰

Light - night owl or early bird

Night owl, definitely. I looooove staying in bed in the morning and I also really like writing during the night. The daytime is always so busy and there are ~emails~. And at night I can just do whatever I want :)

I do try to get out of bed before 9 most days but... it doesn't always work out haha

Music - What has been on repeat lately

So so so so much Alex Mattson. Mainly Anything, Good Kids, Better Off, We Never End and Complicated Love but I also really like Can't Say No. It's sorta inspo for a story I'm working on and sorta just fun ig lol I'm slipping back into my mid 2010s EDM phase as we speak haha

And of course my Eurovision faves xoxo (Carpe Diem has become my emotional support song xD Also apparently my most streamed song in the past 4 weeks was Because of You???? How??? And of course we can't forget abt Cha Cha Cha and Edgar my beloveds <333)

Oh and one more thing before this gets too long: Pure and Midnight in Paris by Gjon's Tears. One is just so upbeat sounding and the other makes me feel ten different levels of nostalgia for something I never experienced and gaaah I love this man's voice so much ❤️❤️

Pride - Something you're proud of

Hmmmmm I tend to be very self critical so I don't have a lot of things I'm very proud of. But achievement wise I think I'm pretty proud of my writing and the amount I've been writing in the past few months (i know quality over quantity but... an 8k chapter is an 8k chapter). I went through a pretty bad writer's block early last year and I just love being able to create again and especially create things that I genuinely enjoy and don't just write for the sake of putting something out.

I'm also proud that I've become a lot more confident and brave (in part due to this fandom and the lovely people here ❤️). A few years ago I would've never dreamed of going to a concert alone or travelling on my own (or ordering a coffee in a café). And now look: *gestures vaguely*!!! I still have a lot of work ahead of me but it's also important to see how far I've come :) (I sound like my therapist haha)

Thank you so so much for the ask ❤️❤️❤️ I hope you had a fantastic day and if not then I hope tomorrow will be better and kinder <33

[ladyofthenoodle]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

thanks @emsylcatac for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

sixteen!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

86,713... wonder if i can make it to 100k by the end of the year!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

just miraculous ladybug. tbh i never thought i would write fic until joining this fandom. i still don't know if i'll ever write for anything else!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

unsurprisingly, my most popular fics are the standalone lovesquare fics

our hands would not be taught to hold another's

Me, My Best Friend, and Her Cat

full exposure

and say you want me

an uncurtain discovery

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes, i try to respond to all of them! sometimes a bit late, i've definitely got some unanswered in my inbox because sometimes i have to choose between writing or answering comments, and i figure if someone likes my fic enough to comment they'd rather have the next chapter. but i always respond eventually because i really appreciate every comment and i want to show that appreciation, even if i'm not always great at taking compliments. seriously all of my commentors rock and people who take the time to write comments on every chapter are the backbone of fandom.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

coin operated boy is my angstiest fic, full stop. it does have an unofficial crack sequel, but the fic itself ends on an angsty cliffhanger. i don't like sad endings so i want to write a more serious continuation one day but it's on indefinite hiatus until i have the emotional energy for that.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

hm, probably our hands would not be taught to hold another's? that's a harder question but since that one has the fluffy epilogue i think it would be the happiest

8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

nope

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yeah, someone i met on a discord server really disliked me to the point that after i'd blocked him on tumblr and left the server, he went after me on ao3.

i think that's the only real hate i've gotten though? some people did assume our hands would not be taught to hold another's was salt early on so i ended up changing the summary (i wrote the summary before i was made aware adrien losing the ring was a big salt trope so i went back to make it clear that wasn't the plan at all)

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

no, i get embarrassed writing kisses. my face gets all red every time. i'm just not strong enough to write smut yet

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i am aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

nope. i would love to because it sounds fun! but also stressful because my writing style is kinda chaotic and idk how coordinating would go

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

i'd have to say lovesquare since it's the first ship i've ever been invested in enough to actually start writing

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

like i said in question 6, i'd like to go back coin operated boy eventually but idk if/when that will happen

16. What’s your writing strengths?

grammar? 😅 idk really. i write a lot for work and i wrote a lot during school so i feel pretty confident with basic writing mechanics and clarity, but fiction wise i'm not sure? characterization, probably?

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

description is really hard for me, especially describing like objects and settings and stuff. i really wish i could add more poetry and beauty and richness to the world my characters are inhabiting. i always have to remind myself they aren't just chilling out in a blank void and that they should interact with physical objects.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

i avoid it. i don't speak any other languages and it seems silly to run a sentence through google translate just so the reader can put it through again - i'd rather just say the character was speaking whatever language if i need. i might make an exception for words that don't have direct translations but it hasn't really come up yet.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

still just this one

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

ohhhhh, saving the hardest for last. i'm probably the most proud of our hands would not be taught to hold another's, since i really didn't think i was capable of writing a long multichaptered story until i actually did it there. i reread it recently and i can see my growth as a writer from the first chapter to the final one too, which is neat.

tagging @kasienda, @miabrown007, and @marrys-dream-world

[chelleztjs18]

I'm great actually! These past few weeks have felt like a dream and I really can't get enough of it :)

Oh no D: I'm sorry to hear that! That all sounds draining and shitty in general tbh

Ah same, I hate summer with a passion simply because of the heat. I can't stand it so I'm stoked that summer is ending as well! I've always loved thunderstorms, so that actually sounds super dope. I'm still in Michigan (I think I told you? I'm not sure either lol) but it rains a lot here and I always enjoy it :)

I'm a little sad to see Lost In Assistance go if I'm being honest, I think I grew so attached to them that it's hard to see them go.. They better get their happy ending because they deserve it after all they've been through 😭

I read your Nat fic and it was lovely! R being drunk added a bit of lightheartedness to it which was fun. The angst? Chef's kiss, you nailed it. Think my favorite part of it was when R wanted Wanda to "fix her" up, it made me laugh and the banter was soo good, it felt v real :) I see you have another one coming soon n I'm looking forward to it!

Okay, now for your dark Wanda fic. This one was a TRIP to say the least. Obviously when you go into dark fics, you know to expect wild stuff, but this was something. The build-up was enjoyable, then Chad's dumbass being brought along for the ride (his last😭) was just crazy, then to tie it all off with Wanda messing with your memories was good. I liked it a lot.. which probably sounds a bit insane but oh well

I write for all three actually, though I technically haven't posted anything for Nat yet, I'm hoping to change that soon (er or later with the way this writer's block is going 🙃)

I know this response is kinda sorta late (time moves very fast) and I do apologize! I plan on talking to you more often from now on! I hope life has been treating you decently as of late despite everything that's happened :>

- 🗿 <3

Hiiii you!

How are you and how is everything with you?

I'm so glad to hear back from you! Sorry for the delayed but I'm excited to answer your ask!

I'm so glad to hear that you are great. Oh what happened these past few weeks? Can I guess? You sound like you are in love and just got into a relationship. :D just a wild guess. But pls do tell me what happened the past few weeks to you? I would love to hear your happy story too, if you are comfortable with it.

Yes, at that time was pretty bad for me. I was emotionally drained but when I felt better, I got covid. It was one after another but I'm okay now even though I still feel something funny with my throat and cough a bit.

I know, right? Summer is draining. especially if it has high humidity. I heard that winter here even if it's snowy, we still have chances of tornadoes. It's crazy. It says that it can get really cold here. So i'm looking forward to it, even though it might be too cold for me but it's still better than summer. lol

I start to like Oklahoma more though. I once went back to California, it was good for food wise and met families / friends again but if I compared to this small country-ish city where I live now, I like it better than California. It's because after I live here for few months, the hectic vibe, crowd and traffic felt worse. haha. So I see the silver line from moving to Oklahoma. I think I'm sensitive with situation that has too many people or too much noise. It gives me anxiety. Especially if it's too many people/crowd, it makes me feel trapped and claustrophobic. n it gets worse when there is too much noise.

Does sound or noise can gives you headache/anxiety too? I will explain more in the next ask, after you. :)

Also, I think I forgot to share you the news that 3 months ago, I got my U.S citizenship! Yaay!

About Lost In Assistance, yes it is sad for me too that it's almost over and on the last chapter. I'm working on it but too be honest it is so hard to jump back in writing ch.65 . I don't know why, maybe subconsciously I don't want it to end? Not sure. But I gotta get it done. About the ending, hmmm I'm not gonna give you spoiler. lol. Do they get happy ending? We'll see.. hahaha. :D also thank you for being attached to that story. I appreciate it.

Yaaaay, I'm glad you read my first Nat fic and you enjoyed it. It was fun writing it. I was actually nervous if people would love it or not but so far it gets pretty good responds and I appreciate every single of it. It was my first Nat fic and it felt a little weird in a good way also interesting to write Wanda as R's best friend because I have always write her as R's love interest.

And yes, I actually have 2 more Nat fics coming. I hope you will like them as well.

Oh, my first dark Wanda fic, It is actually one of fics that I'm really proud writing it. I love that fic because it was my original idea and the "darkness" of it came out as how I wanted / pictured it. Haha don't worry, I don't think it's insane if you like it a lot. I'm thinking it is more insane that I enjoyed writing it. lol. I have 2 dark Wanda dark fics and also another one that's my original idea as well.

Oh, that's good that you write for 3 of them. I'm sorry you have a writer block. I really wish I could help. Brainstorming is fun.

Don't worry about replying me late, I understand. I sometimes reply late too. I'm looking forward to talk with you more often and will reply faster. I'm doing okay, still have ups and downs in my days. Today I had a situation with one weird cringey follower in Wattpad that I have to talk a little harder for her to stop messaging me and I had to block her. Other than that, everything is okay. Same shit different days. lol

Talk soon! Cheerio!