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sery-chan-13 · 6 days

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Ch. 14 of "My Sunshine" [Treech x Reader] Warnings: Swearing and suggestive content(Spicy poetry that implies but is not explicit)

You thought it was funny, hilarious even.

When the expected "no funny business" line was delivered from his mom, his face turned so red you thought he would die.

"Ma!"

Oh yes, you had missed this.

You giggled and looked up at him.

"It's alright, come on now..." you whispered. "You promised you would show me your poetry and I still have one notebook for you."

——

I find solace in sitting in the woods. The ghosts of our youth call out. I replay the memories in my head over and over again. Some days, I feel certain I see you, but you're always just close enough to trick me, yet too far for me to reach you.

------

When my name got called, I froze, I wondered if you were watching. So for that reason, I didn't cry. I marched up there and glared at the ''peace'' keepers. If you were watching, well, I didn't want to see weak in front of you.

The handwriting was messy and quick. He had hidden it haphazardly and ran back out before the Peace Keepers could pull him out. He hugged his Ma and promised he would be back.

-----

District Seven will always be home. No matter where I am, I will always go home. Home is the creeks rushing downstream, the tall trees and the smell of pine. Home is the dirt road and hiking trails we took. The still lake, the birds chirping, the frogs croaking. That is home. The wooden walls, your arms around me, our hands interlocked, and my head on your chest. The sound of your heart beating, your sweet words filling my ears. You are home. And district seven is not home without you.

You were proud of this one. One you'd give to him as soon as he stepped out of that arena. You gently put it on top of your desk.

____

I feel like a circus performer. I get dressed up and parade around making a show of myself. Capitol people love the circus. They love entertainment. What could be more entertaining than a district girl pretending to be one of them?

——

I've always wondered how I've survived so long without you.

There were no other words he wanted to say. That was the only sentence he could think to write. There was no space within him to write long beautiful prose about how much he missed you.

____

I decided to stop writing for a bit. My mind runs through everything. One second I feel like crying, at another time I am angry. How have I survived this long without you?

The writing on the paper was short, you admitted to yourself, but after a month of not writing this was all you could get out.

____

I play pretend like we used to. I pretend you never left. I pretend I'm not alone.

____

Most nights, you invade my thoughts. Your pretty hands, your lips, and those beautiful eyes. One hand on the pen as I write, the other distracted. Soon, it's one hand over my mouth; paper and pen forgotten as my mind runs wild with thoughts of you. Ink spills over my lap and I curse myself as I pick up.

He looked at the paper in shock as if he hadn't just written that. As if it just magically appeared. He groaned, running his hands through his thick dark hair, and hitting his head on his small desk. It shook and he winced hoping no one would wake up from the noise.

____

I sit and write at my desk till late. I fill pages and envelopes... fill other things. Until my hand becomes shaky and the writing falls off of the page. I force myself to continue, to focus. To write. The shaky letters will be obvious. When I give them to you, you will notice. I can't focus on that thought for long as I knock my ink over. It spills and covers my hands.

You stared at the writing, blushing, as if those words were not your own. What are you doing (Y/N)? you thought to yourself as you hid the poem.

____

Quick breaths. It feels like waves crashing against me. I'm glad my imagination can imagine things. Redundancy at its finest. I'd put this crudely, but you've always liked pretty words. So I'll write pretty words for the pretty girl. On every other paper but this one. Here, I'll say this: I want you. Hell, I need you. I need you to touch, to feel. I want you to need me to.

———

By the end of finishing each other's writing, your faces were bright red.

"I... um..."

"Yeah..."

You then laughed and hugged him, peppering his face with kisses. He protested, saying you were getting your lipstick on his face. In reality, he didn't care.

"(N/N) st-stop it!" He laughed, finally gently cupping your face.

You smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips before grabbing his hands from your face. You intertwined your hands with his and then put your head in the crook of his neck.

He let out a content sigh as you did this, placing his head on top of yours, and hiding his face in your hair.

"I haven't been this... happy... since... well, since you were here. And I mean, there's no objections to us... Ma loves you. And I'm sure Pa will be happy too. You know he used to say that when I finally opened my eyes and really saw you, I'd realize I was in love... I used to tell him that we were just friends and he was gross," he laughed. "But... after you left... well... I guess distance makes the heart grow fonder."

You smiled at him talking. Just hearing how he didn't sound exhausted or scared made you happy. There was the thought in your head that he would snap. But right now, he was ok. And when he wasn't, you would be right there to hold him, comfort him, and make everything okay again

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you holding on to each other. There was no talking needed for the words you were both thinking. The silence said all that needed to be said.

—

It was a few hours later when his father came home. He was overjoyed at seeing his son.

You had never seen anyone cry as much as they all did. It made your eyes tear up as you stood off to the side. They were so happy, and seeing them be so overwhelmed by the joy that they were crying made you cry.

No, you weren't upset about his reunion.

You were... jealous?

Seeing his family be a family. Loving and hugging each other. You hadn't felt your family's love since the beginning of your father's relationship with the Capitol. Your mother becoming a living ghost in your house. Elusive. Your father said that affection was unnecessary and only the lowly gave any comfort to their children. That affection was how you

They talked and talked and you quietly stepped out onto the steps in front of the house.

You should be happy! You should feel ecstatic about him being with his family again! The one thing he missed the most while in the Capitol were his Ma and Pa and now... Now you were upset? No not upset... you just longed for what he had...

You felt horrible. You should be inside celebrating his return, and helping him not feel like a horrible human being...

Yet you sat outside.

It was about two hours later when the door opened behind you. The steps behind you creaked and groaned as someone stepped down and sat next to you. You gave a glance and saw Treech.

"Hi..." you whispered.

"Where did you go? I mean we just noticed but um..." he trailed off.

Don't be upset, you have no reason to be upset don't be upset.

You kept repeating that in your head.

"I've been out here for about... two hours? I uh... needed fresh air," you whispered.

"Oh? Two hours? I'm sorry I didn't notice before then (N/N)..." He mumbled, sitting on the step next to you.

His hand found yours and you sighed, leaning into him. He brought your hand to his lips and softly kissed your fingers, then your palm, and finally the back of your hand, before looking up at you.

"You doin' ok?" He whispered, noticing how sad your eyes looked.

You could not, absolutely under any circumstance, tell him that you were upset. He had way more to be upset about, and you were supposed to be happy and be there for him. How come every time he needed you, you somehow seemed to need him in the same way?

"You can be upset... It's ok..." he mumbled.

You smiled and kissed his forehead, "I promise... Now, how did they react to the news?"

His smile widened, and he stood up taking both of your hands in his.

"They're excited. Both of 'em... But, they will kill me if they find out that I haven't taken you on a proper date. So, that is our plan for tonight sunshine," he said.

You blushed at the idea of going on a 'proper' date with him. Of course, you had only imagined the moment, but now that it was finally happening, you became nervous. The prospect of going out alone for the first time as a couple with him made you squeeze his hand tightly.

_____

It was later in the night, around 8, when you said your goodbyes and headed out into the woods behind his house. He had a medium-sized bag on his shoulder, and he would not tell you what was inside.

You remembered the path, one of the hikes you two used to take up to the lake. This one led straight to the old willow tree you spent so much time at.

"Is it still...?"

"Yeah, it is still there. And it is still just our secret spot. I never brought anyone else there," he reassured, offering his arm to you.

You happily took it, hooking your arm in his as he led you through the woods, a lantern being your only form of light.

There was a warm breeze flowing through the leaves, fireflies blinking around you two.

Soon, you reached the lake and the willow. You smiled widely at seeing the spot. It looked the same. Nothing had changed about the spot. Treech put the bag down and grabbed your hands.

"Ok, well, let's go," he said, spinning you around.

You laughed at him twirling you and looked confused.

"Let's go? But we just got here," you questioned with a pout.

He laughed, taking his hat and placing it on top of the bag.

"Sorry, let me rephrase that: Let's go swimmin'," he smirked.

"But I didn't bring any swim-"

"Don't need it. I brought some towels and a blanket for later. But if you want your clothes to stay dry then..." he gestured to you and your clothes. You got the memo.

"Let me get this straight... for our first official date, you take me to our spot and are asking me to go skinny dipping with you?" You said, a smirk playing on your lips. "If you wanted to see me naked you could have just asked."

His face turned bright red at your words as he tried to defend himself, panic-stricken that you thought he would only ask you out here for that. You laughed, and went over, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Treech, darlin', I was just teasin'. Now, I bet I can beat you in," You giggle, beginning by taking off your shoes and socks, and tucking them neatly by the bag.

He scoffed and laughed, "Oh you're on (Y/N)!''

You took your time, knowing that when he got competitive, he got clumsy. You were so cocky as to neatly fold all your clothes as it came off. You laughed and ran into the water, deciding to keep your underwear on. It could dry later. Treech did the same.

He shook his head and groaned as he waded over to you.

"Can't believe I lost. God damnit,'' he jokingly groaned.

You laughed and kissed his cheek before grabbing his hand and pulling him a little deeper. You could both stand, yet were up to your chests in the water. He quickly wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned his head into the crook of your neck.

"I love you so fuckin' much (Y/N) (L/N), I can not wait to be completely and utterly yours," he mumbled into your neck.

"And I love you, Treech Mori, as much as there are stars in the sky. Hopefully, you can be as patient as them too."

#×reader #fluff #treech tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #treech x reader #coriolanus snow #hehe they’re so cute #he’s so bbg #Alexa play so american by olivia rodrigo #This is too happy rn isnt it?#Sure would be a shame if something were to... ruin their peace

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alphascorpiixx · 5 months

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Please do spill the tea about how certain people are wrong about Xion's sacrifice no longer mattering after she was brought back

(Hi anon I'm so sorry it took me forever to answer this ask! I was trying to find that one interview from Nomura, couldn't find it, and then forgot about this ask 😅)

Thank you anon for giving me the opportunity to talk about Xion my beloved

I don't see what the issue is with Xion (plus Nami and Roxas) returning. I don't think I've ever seen anyone claim that the wayfinders shouldn't have come back, so why can't that extend to RNX? I explained in a previous post why it is so important for them to be considered their own people separate from Sora and Kairi. And this is far from the first time we've had a character sacrifice themself only for them to be brought back later

Goofy died Sora stabbed himself to free Kairi's heart from his but five minutes later he's returned to life because of the power of his dear friend:

Sora: "I was lost in the darkness. I couldn't find my way. As I stumbled through the dark, I started forgetting things—my friends, who I was. The darkness almost swallowed me. But then I heard a voice—your voice. You brought me back."

And in KH3:

Sora: "It's all right! You can stop now! It's all right . . ."

Roxas: "Xion."

Both Sora and Xion were lost, but Kairi and Roxas called them back. Sora's sacrifice happened in the very first game. This isn't just fan wish fulfillment giving us beloved characters back. KH1 set the precedent: when we lose ourselves, our bonds with our friends can help us find the way again.

As for the memory loss: why are Xion, Roxas, and Naminé even characters anyway? Because Sora's sacrifice had consequences that were explored for several games. This wasn't just an immediate reversal where Sora dying was never brought up again. And similarly Xion's death isn't the only possible way a sacrifice can be explored, and Xion's return doesn't negate the fact that there were still consequences from her death.

The consequences from Xion's sacrifice have mostly been explored in—guess what—Re:Coded! The game everyone claimed was skippable before KH3 came out! Data Sora may not be regular Sora but we get to see how all these other hearts inside his are influencing the pain he feels. It's not a perfect exploration of Xion's pain and I wish that we could have had Xion actually appear and talk to Data Sora like Data Roxas did. DDD later showed glimpses of Xion and Sora again feeling hers and Roxas's pain. A character being returned to life doesn't just automatically erase the pain of that sacrifice. The parts of Recoded and DDD that show us her pain don't just become irrelevant now that Xion is back. (Just replay the KH2 prologue with the ending scene from Days in mind. Hurts so much more)

I think what some people don't like about Xion's return is that she's remembered, everything's been wrapped up neatly, it's like there are no consequences anymore. Once her name is said and her hood is off, Axel remembers her pretty instantly, and Roxas doesn't seem to have any memory issues when he shows up. Unfortunately KH3 had so many things to cover and not enough time to fully explore everything that Xion's return does feel a bit easy. And for future games, there so many other characters that are more connected to The Larger Plot that Xion's story might be pushed to the side right now. So while yes, the story absolutely could give more focus on the long term effects of being forgotten, there is rightful criticism to say that Xion's return happened too quickly at the very end of KH3 when everyone else also needed to return at the same time, which is just going to make everything feel rushed.

There is so much potential to explore and we've only had a brief bit of MOM and part of Remind that shows us what is happening after KH3. There is still opportunities to show how the consequences are still affecting Xion even after her return. Do Axel and Roxas remember her perfectly now? How does Xion feel about the natural memory loss that just happens with life? I think the reason why people say her sacrifice didn't matter is because so far the games released after KH3 have been prequels/midquels that fill in backstory before BBS and those questions haven't been answered (yet, hopefully)

But to say her sacrifice didn't matter isn't understanding that KH is a story where people get second chances. People who are lost can be found again.

(And its not like every single character ever gets returned to life. Repliku is probably not returning and Vanitas's fate is still up in the air imo (though personally I would not mind if they both returned). DR and UX also have loads of characters who died brutal deaths and probably aren't coming back if you want that angst. I understand that what makes Xion in particular so compelling is how much time is spent developing her character compared to DRUX's dead characters. But its something)

(and to anyone about to say "but that Nomura interview where he said he changed his mind about RNX returning" please link to the interview and I will be happy to discuss it)

(also I recognize kh3's flaws but this is NOT an invitation for anyone to rant on my post about how bad you think the game may be)

#ask #anon #xion #there are definitely ways the consequences of her sacrifice could have been explored better #but it's not like the games after days completely ignored her #her pain is relevant to the story and returning her to life still makes it matter #i think what honestly confuses me is that nomura interview where he said he wasn't sure if he was going to bring them back #dude this has been foreshadowed since BLANK POINTS what are you talking about??#kh is not a grimdark everybody dies story #you want a large fairytale inspired story with young people fighting monsters of darkness that has main characters permanently die but #is ultimately hopeful? i recommend watching rwby

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starbornsarah · 7 months

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My Starfield journey so far

I need somewhere to put my thoughts because this game is life changing. Spoiler warning for the main quest.

I got Starfield in early access on the evening of August 31st 2023. Now it's September 28th 2023 and I have 9 days and 9 hours of playtime. I basically live in this game now. I thought I was "taking my time" finishing the main questline in about 80 hours (while doing side quests in between main quests) but then I crossed into the next universe and the game kept getting better and more expansive. I realized at some point around this time how rewarding the progression feels. There's a lot to learn and it's slow-going for figuring it all out but that's what makes it so satisfying when you do notice your progress. You feel like you're leveling up your real skills and knowledge of this world as your character does the same. Not only that, but replays are built into the lore so your character is as aware as you are. This makes the connection with your character even stronger over multiple playthroughs.

There were still so many quests and so much to do in that first universe I left behind. Now in this new universe, I'm taking even more time—trying to do every quest and see every planet. Playing this way really shows the breadth and depth of this universe and recontextualizes even my first playthrough as something more weighty. That's not to say I wasn't already deeply affected by my first playthrough, however. There was one moment, maybe 30 hours in that was particularly memorable. I was on one of the temple planets. The sun happened to be setting (or rising?) and I was surprised how beautiful it was. Then I looked to the sky behind me and saw a small planet (or moon?) in the distance. I was suddenly struck with a visceral sense of awe and wonder. I could feel in my body the real experience of being on a distant world in a massive universe. At that point, I had forgotten I was playing a game at all. It had crossed over from a mere piece of entertainment into the realm of a spiritual experience. Everything was vast and beautiful and I was part of it.

I tried romancing Sarah in my first playthrough but she tragically died. My heart sank when I saw her lying on the floor of The Lodge in a pool of her blood. Her death affected the rest of my playthrough. I felt more motivated to finish the main quest—particularly once I realized I could start over with her in another universe. I could have a chance to save her after all, in a way. But before finishing the main quest, I tried romancing Andreja after Sarah was gone. It never felt quite right though. Maybe because I'm just not that into Andreja or because I was still mourning Sarah's passing. Either way, it felt a bit icky going to another universe to see my dead almost-girlfriend (we never made it official) when my perfectly-alive girlfriend was in this one. Still, maybe it would work out between me and Andreja in yet another universe. There was also the Starborn Sarah that showed up in a particularly dramatic plot reveal of her as The Emissary. I was giddy to see her and there was something even more appealing about her with all her multiverse experience. But of course, she wasn't romanceable and was not quite the Sarah I had lost. All that said, I knew I was going to crossover eventually so I accelerated the timescale a bit toward the end of the main quest.

That was that. I built the Armillary, sided with The Emissary, "defeated" The Hunter (through persuasion), entered The Unity, and became Starborn. I feel nowhere near truly finishing this game or even slowing down. I've never played a game where new game+ felt as good and relevant as my first playthrough. In fact, it feels like a continuation of the same playthrough rather than a new starting point. It's like the more I play, the bigger the game gets because its full landscape becomes more and more into focus. I enjoy every feature of the game and it's packed full of them: quests, exploration, ground combat, space combat, ship building, character relationships, outpost building, Photo mode, and RPG progression/skills. It's amazing that all of these systems are fun and rewarding in their own way yet they exist within a singular video game.

I'm still in my second universe and taking my time for real this time. I've now finished dozens of new quests I missed or skipped the first time. I still haven't even finished one of the major faction quests (UC Vanguard). Ironically, I did prevent Sarah's death this time and even married her only to realize it was a mistake. I wasn't too keen on her judgmental attitude when I brought her to Akila (I'm a Freestar Collective native, after all) and Paradiso was a pretty bad choice of wedding locale. I realized I liked her more as a friend than a partner. There's a life lesson in there somewhere. I tried to reverse fate by going to a whole other universe to save my love but sometimes the dream is better than reality.

Overall, Starfield isn't just deep in its mechanics and replayability but in what it has to say about life and the universe. The end of the main quest finds you presented with the choice to start over but only through renunciation of your worldly possessions and relationships. This is a decidedly spiritual concept, as is Unity itself, which remains somewhat mysterious but can be interpreted as representing God, reincarnation, enlightenment, and/or nonduality ("oneness") beyond the more scientific multiversal viewpoint. These themes reframe everything in the game as part of a more meaningful cycle of existence and interdependence. They even reflect what you are doing in real life as you play--dying and reloading, replaying quests in new playthroughs, creating multiple characters, and progressing/growing as a player yet seemingly remaining your core self. In other words, there's a lot more here than just pew pew space shenanigans (though there's plenty of that as well) but you do have to be open to seeing it. All of this puts Starfield on equal ground with the best sci-fi offerings available. I can't wait to see what else I find.

#starfield #xbox #video games

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anneapocalypse · 1 year

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It's really fascinating, looking back at my first impressions of Inquisition.

(Long rambling reflections follow!)

For one thing I had forgotten just how much trouble I had initially with the combat mechanics, with how different they were from the first two games. I was really struggling, and I think that had to have affected how the early game hit for me--it's difficult to take in a lot of the details when you're just trying to get a handle on the controls. It's always a challenge for me re-training my brain and muscle memory for a new game, but I think I'm much better at it now--these days I'm pretty frequently hopping back and forth between Dragon Age and FFXIV, very different games, without more than some hiccups.

I was playing exclusively on console at the time, and despite Inquisition's control scheme skewing heavily toward console, I much prefer it on PC. But I prefer basically everything on PC these days if I can get it. And still, the first time I played Inquisition on PC, I had to plug in a controller. Now I'm quite comfortable keyboard-and-mousing it, but it was a more difficult adjustment for DAI than for the previous two games, which I picked up pretty quickly.

It's genuinely funny reading my frustrated old liveblogs about TPKing in the Hinterlands, because... I've just reached that area in my replay, I'm playing the same character at the same difficulty level, I haven't even touched the companions' tactics yet, and I'm having no trouble taking down enemies. Even back then, I was like "This is just me being Bad at Games," and well, it was. :P I kinda have to conclude that I'm just plain Better at Games now! (The fact that on this playthrough I immediately crafted my own armor and weapons, which even with the most basic of materials still well outstrip the default kit, might also have something to do with it.)

One thing that has not changed: I hated the tac cam then and I hate it now. :P I still basically never use it in Inquisition.

Another thing that was clearly a big adjustment for me was just... this updated, higher-res vision of the world. In one of my early liveblogs I described it as feeling like "a weird fever dream about Thedas" rather than Thedas. Eight years and five playthroughs later, Inquisition is now fully integrated into my mental landscape of Thedas and I don't feel that way at all. Inquisition added a lot of new stuff, and it certainly recontextualized a lot of things we knew about the universe, but it doesn't on the whole feel like a departure from some pure vision to me; it's just a part of it.

I see a lot of criticisms and complaints in my early liveblogs. There are some that I still agree with. There are a lot of things that would be addressed, explained, or otherwise resolved later in the game. Like early on I talked about not being a big fan of "Chosen One" narratives, and in fact it turns out that the Inquisitor isn't a Chosen One at all, or at least it feels to me very intentionally written so that you can reject that reading, and the whole concept of Chosenness gets pretty thoroughly deconstructed later on. I made a crack about Haven having all these rough-hewn single-room cottages with fancy gilt-framed portraits on the wall--but even that starts to make more sense when I am reminded that Haven has been under the control of an Orlesian nobleman who married the Fereldan lady who owned the land, and in the intervening ten years it has become a pilgrimage destination for Andrastians with the means to make the trip--many of them likely Orlesian. That just wasn't something I was going to put together on my first clumsy playthrough, but now I see it. I do still have some lingering dislike for the word "Inquisition" being used for this organization and the whole game--I still kinda think it has a bit too much real-world baggage attached to it--but I've softened a little on that since playing Trespasser because I do think the game itself is meant to be subtly critical of the Inquisition as an institution. I was put off by how Leliana had grown away from her Origins self, but I've really completely come around on that since coming to better understand the things she's experienced in the intervening years. I read certain things as narrative framing the audience was meant to agree with which I now read as simply subjective in-character opinions (and which sometimes even have pushback from other characters.) I was really harsh on "The Dawn Will Come," which I read a lot differently now than I did then. I even unthinkingly repeated that now-extremely-tired joke about how there are barely any dragons in Dragon Age, which, embarrassing. :P (To be fair I didn't know about all the high dragons yet, but uh, still.)

I can confidently say today that the hair options are indeed bad--but also that they looked way worse on console. I stand behind wishing female dwarves were a bit broader and stockier, and I know I'm not alone in that. I was also mad about the continuing lack of dwarf romances, on which point I do have to concede that 2014!Anne was extremely valid. (I hadn't yet discovered the Harding mini-mance at the time, but that's still not a full romance).

I also said this:

For real though unless Skyhold has been protected by some kind of ancient elven magic, I can’t believe this game seriously expects me to believe this enormous and highly defensible fortress that is strategically placed near the Orlesian border has just lain empty for decades--

lol.

Going in, I see that I had pretty low expectations for the story but was really excited about the characters. Which isn't a bad approach to take necessarily (the characters are indeed great) but I also think I let a lot of the fandom climate at the time really... poison the well for me. When everyone's experiencing new canon for the first time, criticisms are inevitable and normal, but they can also get amplified and then sort of codified by that amplification and consensus to the point where, when the thing is actually addressed or resolved later in the story, it has an uphill battle to shake that already-crystallized idea that Thing Bad. (And that's to say nothing of the collective effect of so many people going in already having decided before the game came out that it would be Bad.) There are Thing Bad takes about Inquisition that are still common to this day, which I would have agreed with on that first playthrough, but no longer do because I've come to read them in a different light. More than anything, I regret being swayed by all the Sera hate I saw on my dash at the time to the point that I was honestly kind of afraid to give myself a chance to like her. When I finally did give Sera a chance I fell completely in love with her and she's ended up being one of my all-time faves.

Apart from that though, I was really loving the characters. I loved Cassandra, I loved Vivienne, I was digging the Josephine romance hard (and I'm so excited to finally finish it).

I actually put out a post asking followers to tell me if it was safe to proceed to close the Breach without finishing the Hinterlands because it seemed way too early to be endgame and I didn't want to lose any quests!

I wandered away from my first playthrough (and kinda from Dragon Age overall) somewhere mid-game, after "Here Lies the Abyss" but before "Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts." Looking at my old liveblogs I see that I was really loving my character, Calla Cadash; I made a lot of enthusiastic posts about her and her romance and friendships and I was even writing a ficlet series, and yet I do think that I was struggling a bit with her motivation to be in the Inquisition. Now that I've brought her back for a do-over, I think Calla is a great character that I'm going to love playing; she just wasn't a great first character for this game. Eleanor Trevelyan was the kind of character I needed to get me through my first playthrough: faithful but baffled, terrified but compassionate, a character who meshed easily with the plot and was motivated to do all the sidequests and most importantly had nowhere else to go. She was a perfect First Character. And once I knew the game and the story, it was easy enough to make up reasons why my other Inquisitors would stick around and become invested, and I got to start exploring other perspectives--but I needed that kind of First Character to get to know the story first. (Being a multi-world-state mess does work out well for me here. 😉)

As a part of this playthrough, I recreated my very first Warden, Jolene Cousland, and replayed her on PC. She is probably one of the more boring Wardens I've created, but it was fun to revisit her all the same, and more importantly she was a perfectly good First Character to introduce me to the game and the world. She worked. I still like her. I never really had a First Hawke, exactly, since I played Default Hawke the first time (super out of character for me but a friend at the time talked me into it; "Default Male Hawke is the best Hawke" was very much a Thing at the time 🙄). So I went ahead and made myself a new Hawke, Mallory, to fit into what is now my Rogues Gallery world state, and had a blast with her. And now, I'm back to Calla to finally give her the full story she deserves.

I've read through my old Calla posts, and some thing about her are definitely going to change, because I no longer have that First Playthrough pressure to see everything sitting on me. I get to focus on building the character, and seeing new things, and having fun with her.

It's been fun, if surreal and weird in some ways, to revisit that first playthrough and what my first thoughts on the game were, and how much my view of it has changed. I will certainly have all of this in mind when Dreadwolf comes out, and I have it in my hands and am experiencing it (and probably trying to learn a new combat system) for the first time.

#anne plays dai #many thoughts

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turtlemagnum · 4 days

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i got a new laptop the other day since the old one died. it doesn't have a whole lot of storage but i specifically looked for one with a quality CPU so it could emulate fairly well. grabbed some roms from my desktop to put on it, because i was gonna head over to my mom's place for the night the same day. she asked if i had bonk on it, i didn't but quickly grabbed a rom of super bonk on the snes for her to play. wasn't the version she grew up with, seemed to have some fun with it but overall didn't seem the most enjoyable. i mentioned that i had a link to the past already on here, and she lit up. she immediately wanted to play it, so i obliged.

now, growing up one of the only luxuries we had was a super nintendo. one of the only games we had for it was a link to the past, and she'd regularly replay it, and i'd watch. it was one of my earliest introductions to gaming, and was really special the whole way through; there's definitely a reason as to why i'm the zelda fuck i am today. she wouldn't really let me play it much, but one thing she said that stuck with me is that she thought i'd never be better at it than her even when i'm an adult.

fast forward a few years later, i'm no longer the little kid i was back when she still had a working SNES, i have a gaming PC and an 8bitdo SN30 pro, which is essentially a super nintendo controller with an extra set of shoulder buttons and a pair of thumbsticks. naturally, i play a link to the past on it, and after about 2-3 days i beat it. one of the few games i can say i've beaten 100%, assuming you don't count the extremely linear ones where the win condition is going through the entire game like, for instance, mario the lost levels. as i've grown older, i've gotten a lot better at video games than i was as a kid. i wouldn't say i'm fantastic at them, but i'm in a bit of a weird middleground where i'm significantly better than the average gamer but leagues behind the people at the top who actually know what the fuck they're doing. regardless, i got through the game pretty quick and easily, and i believe i might not have even died throughout, though i don't feel like checking. regardless, here's the sad part of the story

when i sat there watching her play it, there was an indelible sense of nostalgia that washed over me. but, slowly, i realized that she wasn't anywhere near as good as she used to be. i could tell she had forgotten a lot of stuff, gotten a lot worse at physically controlling link, at times forgot which buttons did what, and sometimes had to be reminded of things that i thought was second nature to her given the years and years she'd played the game. at first, i found it kind of funny, and i had a bit of pride at the idea that i had finally gotten better than her at a link to the past. then, the more i could tell she forgot, the more it set in that it likely wasn't just rust from a lack of practice.

my mom has... hit her head, a fair few times in her life. i was right there with her in the ER when pretty much all of them happened. and i've definitely noticed that a lot of her mental faculties have gotten... worse, after each one. more and more she'd repeat things we'd just talked about, have to think a lot harder about things that came naturally, rejecting more philosophical discussions saying that she didn't have the mental energy for them. i'd say that she's still absolutely functional in day to day life, and that she's probably gotten better in the time since the last time she hit her head, but i'd be lying if i said that in some ways, the mother i had as a kid died a little bit with each head injury. so this, this really set in how far gone in some ways she's become.

it became fairly bittersweet after a while, watching her play. when i was younger, i'd watch her get through the whole game in one sitting with little difficulty, and now she struggled to get through to the second dungeon. i know it sounds silly, but seeing her struggle with something like this to such a degree just really made me realize all that's happened between then and now. it's not really about the game, is it? it's about seeing someone you love slowly fade both physically and mentally in a way that you can do nothing to stop. the nostalgia became overwhelmed with a sense of how we can never go back, now.

#crying as i'm typing this #i didn't realize the depths of how this had impacted me until i sat down to write this down #god. man.

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ishgard · 2 months

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g'raha tia and/or krile for the character asks? alternately, your WoL?

Oooh fun!! thank you so much!

G'raha Tia:

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual

Gender Headcanon: Male (but tbh I could see him being fluid about it)

A ship I have with said character: I love all of the WoLG'raha ships, it's so good, so delicious. Recently I've been a little 👀 about Thancred x G'raha also, that's got me Intrigued.

A BROTP I have with said character: I really love seeing bits and pieces of his friendships with each of the Scions tbh, esp now that he's free of the Exarch's yolk. Him and Urianger or Y'shtola nerding out, or gosh his relationship with Alisaie feeling more like siblings is so much fun and delightful. (I also really wanna see him interact with Thancred more just in general oops.)

A NOTP I have with said character: I don't think one exists 🤔 If anything I'd probably just be more ambivalent towards such a thing.

A random headcanon: It's nothing flashy or unique but (and apologies) I subject him to my usual miqo'te HCs of purring, biting, both keepers and seekers having fangs and eyes that adjust to light/dark, and yeah, the less sfw things (not pokey penis, that's where I draw the line).

General Opinion over said character: I love him so much??? I can understand why some people have their grievances with him, especially in regards to how he might 'come on strong' sometimes, but I never really got why people hold long-lasting grudges against him for the whole lying thing. (Though that's probably largely because Ahru isn't bothered by people lying to her if the ends justify the means.)

Krile Baldesion:

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual (female-leaning)

Gender Headcanon: Female

A ship I have with said character: Is it too obvious to say Tataru? I wanna say she had hearteyes for Minfilia, too. (Thinking about it though, a crackship with Estinien is forming in my head, oh no.)

A BROTP I have with said character: Even if not from a shippy point, Tataru for sure. Also I didn't mention this on his, but G'raha.

A NOTP I have with said character: I do NOT ship her with being forgotten and abandoned by the narrative.

A random headcanon: Listen, definitely had a crush on G'raha at some point, (and yeah Minfilia). I'm not sure if teaching Alphinaud how to paint is a headcanon or was actual canon now that I think about it (am I imagining there was something said about him asking her for advice?)

General Opinion over said character: Less of an opinion but I really can't wait to see more of her in Dawntrail, hopefully she gets a chance to really flourish. I enjoy her a lot but I feel like she's been sidelined so much (and I barely did anything with Eureka admittedly) so I just don't always feel like I know her as well as I wish I did. (Maybe I just need to replay MSQ tho.)

Ahru Hiraeth :D

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual

Gender Headcanon: Female, has a sort of loose concept of gender in her head though in regards to herself

A ship I have with said character: ...there are a few, but the big one at the moment is Deryk x Ahru, they've got me in a chokehold.

A BROTP I have with said character: Estinien! The minute he called her "aibou" I was sold. She's also always in close cahoots with Thancred no matter what.

A NOTP I have with said character: This is going to seem so out of nowhere but as a lover of enemies-to-lovers I have TRIED to imagine it just for shits and giggles but no, no, she hates him so so much.

A random headcanon: She loves mint (in food, drink, smoke) and though it's very slight it has a soothing quality that helps her relax. (catnip being in the mint family, yada yada) [She doesn't actually smoke a lot anymore though.]

General Opinion over said character: She is so powerful. Like. To me. Over me. I am so weak and I love her so much and she has been such a delight to explore over the years. Seeing her Go Through Some Shit and Get Worse and also Get Better has been beautiful and I want to cry I love my cat so much.

#answered #thank you again!!

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thegoodceai · 3 months

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afddighadfi <3333 sending all the hearts <33, sry for the late reply I had a Long Time at work but I had read your message and was also liek *twirling hair, kicking feet* trying to think of a fitting response !

Letsgo!! IF is soo good, I need to get more into IF if anything. Fallen Hero is Top Tier. Got a top three IF? And Nice! U a player or dming for them?

Aww! I'd love to know any info about her! Plz feel free to yell at me about her. Wuts her (current) name, design?, sign, The Demons (the story ur putting her through lol).

Bro! I've relatively done the same, I had waited so long to play Retri, wut ending did u get 👀👀👀. Ortega is just 😩😩😩

I hadn't heard of her nor the song, but checking it out I can definitely see why it's been on repeat <333.

We love little sharp bbies <3. Do u have a preference for color? Got a name picked out already lol?

Fair Enough, least they chase u with a stake. The Aesthetic and Seduction are unmatched I will give em that ;p. Oh! I know Of the series, but next to nothing what its about, wuts it about/what drew you into it? ((I know I could Google it, butt any excuse to get you to chat/yell more <3))

Thank you for replying to all my random questions lol. Been following for a long time, and in my mind ur already a Friend :))))

<3333 sending all the good vibes, i know we've been mutuals for a while and truly the one reaction i have every time we interact is Friend!!!!!

i am DMing for my friends, it was the only way to get them to play. i started out with only 2 players, just for some light fun, but i ended up with 5 now and a whole homebrew campaign that they can play around in and so far they do seem to be enjoying being chaotic gremlins with the side of Mystery Plot i threw at them

IF is amazing, i love the versatility of the format. idk if i could pick a true top 3, but for ones in progress ones i keep going back and replaying there's A Tale of Crowns (a favorite and one of the first ones i played, like 2 years ago when it was first released), Project Hadea, and Attolo. i love all of them dearly and cannot wait to see how they end up. for finished ones, i loveeeee Way Walkers University (i feel like it's so underrated, but i really like the style it is written in and how well developed the world of it is, there just so much and the variations you can play are huge), The Passenger (Roach my beloved), and i really liked I, The Forgotten One (been following this one before it was published, and it's truly not everyones' cup, but i found it compelling)

the story i'm working on is kind of fantasy adventure, heavily based on mythology and folklore (specifically romanian one), and i am planning to like, make it public at some point this year (still ironing and detailing some stuff, but the bones are solid, it's been rooting around in my brain for A While). the main cast are all variations of very very old ocs i have (originally for another story sort of in the same vein, but i'd like to think i grew a bit as a writer and they're more put together now, as well as the story itself). so imma hold on to the details about this whole thing for now but aaah thank u for being interested in it <3333

aah first ending i got was accident as sidestep, stayed as sidestep, and got the whole old gang involved in breaking them out of the hospital. i've been playing sidestep as a reluctant villain that's gunning for justice/exposing what the Powers That Be are actually up to (anarchist villain baby), all while being friendly with the Rangers and ended up keeping the cover so none of them know about the villain sidegig lmao. been trying to psych myself to play a fully evil sidestep but. it's hard. and i loooove playing reluctant and tired mcs that are done with everything but ultimately will do the right thing at any cost (tragic heroes my beloved)

16 year old me would have given anything to have a black cat named either Loki or Thanatos and you know what? they were right. but in reality i will probably just end up adopting a bunch of stray animals and naming them like. normal human names. or food names (i am very fond of the name Clementine, but it is kind of a mouthful)

lmao i remember next to nothing of the series, i've read it forever ago (i was like, maybe 13?? when i got the first book). all i remember was that i liked Sookie very much at the time. it was i think the first like, adult book series i read and it was fascinating to my young brain, seeing a fully developed female main character being badass and resourceful and kinda doing her own thing (the series is from her perspective, so that was also kind of novel at the time, after reading a lot of like, classical literature and school stuff). idk if i'd recommend it now, but it was definitely formative for me. it's also the series that got me into like, modern fantasy (both reading and writing it)

#aah this is so fun thank u so much again 🖤🖤🖤#ask #personal #phantom-tiger

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tyrantmade · 1 year

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Hi, & Welcome , this is a Bias List. I have decided to do this, cause it is my way of saying hpw much I appreciate all of My Mutuals. You all are the cutest and sweetest little beans I've had the pleasure to get to know. When I first started this blog up , back in early September I wasn't sure I'd be able to give my boy here any justice. Wesker was my favorite Villain from the Resident Evil franchise. But I admit that I was worried that I would not be able to write as him very well. But here we are, I feel the connection to my boy. Wesker has a place in my heart, and in my, ehem! I won't finish that statement. Lmao. But during my 7 months of having him I have made some new friends and got some amazing plotline going. I am thankful that none of you have dropped my lazy ass. Seeing how slow i've been on drafts and starters. But I will be working on shit tomorrow, and I will also be working on my Multi Muse so that you guys can begin writing with Birkin, Redfield, Spencer and my OC's. But, to show my love and support I am going to be picking two winners from this. Below is the Bias List of those who are my Ride Or Dies and those that I have come to love. And then my rules for the giveaway. Enjoy everyone, and I love you all. <3 <3

My Ride or Dies / I'm Affiliated with

@traumamade / @taleswritten : JJ, My darling Leon Main, I adore you sir. I love the hell out of you. You were the first real one to come my way, and bring your love of dark themes with you. Wesker and I adore the hell out of you. I love your writing, the way you bring Leon to life and you don't hold back. You are just a fucking amazing soul and I am glad to of been able to meet you. I know I haven't been under Discord much lately. You can blame my Anxiety , There is an old nuisance i've been hiding from. But I am going to change that, I swear.

@noonegetsleftbehind: J, My Guy can I say that I really do adore you. I love your Chris, and I adore you. I just love your over all caring nature and just your amazing heart. Not to mention I like how you write Chris. I swear Wesker wants that toxic ship and even the soft one too. Even if he won't admit it. <3 <3

@otmychka : LORNE, MY WIFEU!! I love you girlie, so fucking much. You are the sweetest, most humblest, and one of those friends you want in your corner. When you approached me that day in IM's on your personal and mentioned you wanted to be my Jill. That you wanted to make her blog up and RP, I got excited. And we started plotting ALOT. So much so that it is forever in my head. And I can't wait to begin. Speaking of it, that Starter is coming tomorrow. But girl, we have clicked so much and playing DBD with you has been a damn awesome time. I keep forgetting to get into VC , so we all can hang out. And like I mentioned to J above, I know I haven't been on Discord in a little bit. I am coming back onto it more now, cause my baes are under there and I need to so we can PLOT , PLOT, and TALLLLLK.

@missxnsuppxrt: Hi Hun, how are you. I know we haven't got to talk alot more and I need to change that. I just want you to know I haven't forgotten about you. Or our threads, I will be replaying to it tomorrow, and brace yourself. Wesker seems to be flirting in our threads. Girl, if I can tell you what he is thinking I would. But we will have to keep an eye on him , huh. <3 Wesker and I adore you so much and your Blog. You are one very good writer, :)

@naturlich-geborener-morder: Bish, you already kknow what I am going to say to you. I FUCKING LOVE YOUR CHRIS!!!! The way you write him, the way you have put love and tears into his backstory along with the Mental Disability. Besides you are my BITCH, Always. Seeing as how you are my Sister. My Bestie, and I love you. Just, always know I love you and I have always told you that your writing is amazing even if you don't think so.

RULES

Like this blog to be entered into the give away.

Reblog this if you want to say Hi, or whatever.

I will pick the winners on the 1st of May. So you will have a week to respond or I will move on to someone else.

Do Not Claim anything as yours

Please tag me & give me credit.

Winner #1 -

A fully edited & customizeable Google Doc Template

New Promo Banner

200 new RP Icons

50% off Commissions if you ever want anything else.

Winner #2 -

150 New RP icons

New RP Promo

Choose our next thread

#Bias List #Hiiiii Babies

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demonsteapot · 7 months

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Silly question!

What are your five favourite videogames (in no particular order)?

Oh, oh! Reading this made me very happy. I get unreasonably excited about these things. (I may list more than five. Favourites are so hard to pick!)

First one that comes to mind is Omori, which I played in late 2021, about a year after it came out. I still have a deep scar in my psyche where that one went in.

... There are a lot of reasons why. The cast are pretty damn relatable (particularly Bagel and Sunny, on a few fronts) the story is a good one, well told– and the ending brought me (an apathetic godsdamn robot) about as close to tears as I can remember in the past few years. It's not a perfect game, but it's one that'll live with me for a long time.

Highly recommend if you have a lot of time to kill (and a lot of patience for filler, because the headspace segments are... well...)

Second, I think, is Celeste, which I played earlier? 2020? 2019?. At first, I picked up this game because "hey, this looks like a cool and challenging platforming game, and I want to try something different!"

All that suffering (Maddy Thorson is a sadist) made the story hit a lot harder. Celeste is... well, I won't gush about it too much, since I don't have much of substance to say, but every freaking part of it resonated with me. Shall we say. Just... just a little bit.

Ultrakill (I first played this in January, I think) also stands tall in my little brain. Now, this one is less about story and more about gameplay, but I honestly still love the game's narrative. It's... a pretty existential game, under all the coins, monsters and style tricks.

Also, the main antagonist is voiced by Gianni Matragrano, which pretty much seals the deal here.

Now I know the game isn't finished, and I'll be really happy to see where the rest of the game's development takes it, but as it stands, it's almost certainly already my favourite FPS. Like, ever. Not that I'm a connoisseur or anything, but what else has: the ability to punch your bullets, an nihilistic dating sim level, a stage dedicated entirely to fishing, and a secret Crash Bandicoot game mode?

Next up, and this comes out of nowhere compared to the first three: LittleBigPlanet 2, a PS3 puzzle-platformer that I remember very fondly. I thought I had to include a game from my (earlier) childhood, and it was either this or Minecraft.

I don't have too much to say about LBP 2, but my younger selves invested quite a lot of time into it, and looking back now, it has a lot of charm. I replayed it once recently, and... Well, still a really good game. Banger soundtrack, too, like all of the above.

I'm torn on what to include for number five, so I'll just go through both of my choices.

Terraria is definitely up here. I have sunk hours upon hours upon hours (about 1.5K total on my Steam install) into this game with a friend, and while it may not be perfect, it's a game that I've come to know and love a lot. It's one of those multiplayer games that always has something to do, but also always works as a backdrop to a conversation. Replayability 10/10 if you have friends.

Lastly, Hollow Knight. Like Celeste and Omori, this was an absolutely magical experience the first time around– the world is so vast and pretty, and its goofy art and charm is paired with a really memorable and melancholic setting. Also, I love bugs. Arthropods are awesome. I can't wait for Silksong to release in 1,000,000 years...

I'm sure there's some absolute classic I've forgotten about, but these are the first things that came to mind. I will also say that once it's finished, I wager Deltarune might well supplant one of these.

Long response, hah. Guess I can't stop myself.

thank you for asking lmao <3

P.S. I forgor, but the Binding of Isaac deserves an honourable mention here. I knew that game like the back of my arm... for a while, anyway.

P.P.S. Oh, and as for Deep Rock Galactic? Ask me again when I hit a thousand hours.

#demonsteapot #ask #long post #fav games #wall of text #not art

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rubalotl · 1 year

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Tunnel vision

I get such tunnel vision when something grabs my interest, I focus on that thing so much to the point of making my brain feel exhausted. Honestly, it's kind of a problem. I shouldn't push my brain's energy capacity to its limit all the time.

Lately, that has been with games. But I hope I can direct that hyperfocus into art one day once again, but learn to pace myself better so I don't exhaust my brain and burn out again.

At least I've got to play a lot of games during my art burnout (which started around mid 2020 or the start of 2021), a bunch of these games were on my to-do list but didn't have time to play and it feels very good to have gotten through them.

I'm gonna try to remember them all and roughly when I played them:

Replayed Okami on Switch

A bunch of small indies: ABZU | Koral | Fe | Koi DX | The First Tree

Pokémon Sword & Shield (Started Nov 2019)

Animal Crossing New Horizons (Started Mar 2020)

Guild Wars 2 (Started Dec 2020, still playing daily)

Age of Calamity (Feb 2021)

Shiny hunted all the legendaries in ORAS (Finished Apr 2021)

Temtem (Apr 2021)

Pokémon Snap (May 2021)

Pokémon XD Gale of Darkness (Won an auction for it Jul 2021)

Monster Hunter Stories 2 Wings of Ruin Demo (Jul 2021)

A little bit of Planet Zoo (Aug 2021)

Shiny Hunted some in HG (Lugia Oct 12, 2021 | Mewtwo Oct 31, 2021 | Charmander Jul 7, 2022 | Kyogre Jul 19, 2022)

ACNH Happy Home Paradise (Nov 2021)

Pokémon BDSP (Nov 2021)

Pokémon Legends Arceus (Jan 2022)

GW2 End of Dragons (Feb 2022)

Kirby and the Forgotten Land (Jul 2022)

Coromon (Aug 2022)

Replayed Slime Rancher on Switch (Aug 2022)

Ooblets (Sep 2022)

Pikmin 3 Deluxe (Sep 2022)

Slime Rancher 2 Early Access (Sep 2022)

A Short Hike (Sep 2022)

Stray (Oct 2022)

Nexomon (Oct 2022)

Bugsnax (Nov 2022)

Pokémon Scarlet & Violet (Nov 2022)

Nexomon Extinction (Jan 2023)

Age of Calamity DLC (Feb 2023)

Monster Hunter Stories 2 Wings of Ruin (Mar 2023)

I want to finally build a proper zoo in Planet Zoo, it's not a game that goes well together with creative burnout since it requires creativity to build stuff in it. So I haven't been able to give it the attention it deserves.

I've already decided that 2023 will be another gaming year. I'm almost all the way through my to-do list of games, and after that, I'll assess what I want to do next.

#rubabble

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darkheartedraven · 1 year

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I am a dreadful person

It occurs to me that I've been dreadful with tumblr. I mean I'm dreadful with most things these days, but I'm particularly bad with this.

So what have I been doing? Well mostly I've been getting annoyed at Dragon Age 2.

Yes, I know, I know. I've played it before, I should not be annoyed. But here's the thing, I'm now annoyed at different things to before.

I'm not so bothered about the repeated maps, or repeated storylines (if another person says "oh no, blood magic bad" I'm gonna scream). What I am annoyed at is the dialogue options and how what they say often has little correlation to the words that come out of your mouth.

I pick what looks like a gentle bit of positive reinforcement and instead my character calls the other person an idiot.

Likewise companions get annoyed at the dumbest things. Adamant anti-slaver Fenris gets upset when I don't bind people into servitude. Yes, they're mages, but I would think slavery trumps the fact that they could throw fireballs.

Also no one, not one person, seems to be able to grasp the situation around them. "Mages are evil".... no, power is evil when it is used to supress and control. Mages are one form of power, but if you look at the damned world that ISN'T Tevinter, mages are pretty damned powerless and mostly living terrified lives of misery before generally being executed because a templar is looking at them funny.

Also I'd forgotten how much of an arse Cullen is. I like him in Inquisition, but his behaviour in both DA:O and DA2 makes me want to throw him into the sea.

It's amusing that since the DLC is included in the version I have on XBox, that literally all in-game gear is useless other than the DLC. A core pillar of the game, the loot grind, is completely negated because (at least for a casual player like myself) there's just no need to pick things up except to sell it.

Still, much as I'm ranting, I'm still enjoying things. I've got further on this playthrough than I normally do with 2. It's not Bad as such, it's just that the repetitive nature of a lot of it means that most of the twists are easy to remember, so I'm not really finding replays as compelling as I do with the other games that I normally completely forget.

Oh well.

On another note, LOL at Wizards of the Coast and their snarky reply on DnD beyond. Way to show your contempt to your community with that last bit, holy cheese biscuits.

On a related note, Pathfinder 2e is look pretty tasty now I've been reading the rulebook in a bit more detail...

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moved-attre · 3 years

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Rewriting Cyberpunk 2077 into a bullet point list! LET’S GO!

(Disclaimer: I’m trying to be realistic. So no, “every single detail of the game changes based upon every single choice V makes” but just things I expected in an RPG from an AAA company in 2020. I take a lot of inspiration from the old trailers, and rumors of pre-2018 development.)

And this is really long, too. Sorry. 😜

Okay, so first off: Act 1 generally goes off the same as it does in canon. I’m open to other ideas, but I don’t think it’s a bad starting point. I do think V and Jackie should have had more time together, doing smaller jobs until Dex calls. Like, there should’ve been side jobs that were only available in Act 1. You have to get a minimum of 5 street cred before you get the conversation with Jackie about Dex.

The heist still goes to shit; Yorinobu kills his father, Takemura rebels against him and Arasaka factions split. V inserts the chip into their head, Jackie still dies and Dex shoots V in the head. Takemura rescues V, kills Dex, V wakes up in Vik’s and is told they have 4 months to live. (2 weeks is not enough!)

On to Act 2! The origins actually affect the game, so there’s three versions of it you can play. (Some things happen regardless of the origin, though.) For example: Corpo V has contacts in the Corpo world and pursues leads about the Relic there through their old friends. Street Kid V has contacts in the gangs, like the Valentinos or Maelstrom, who have dirty dealings with corporations and can get V in on Arasaka knowledge, Nomad V has leads out in the badlands about the corporations and gets in that way, hijacking transports to get some info. All origins can work with the corporations (like Hanako’s branch of Arasaka, Militech, Biotechnia, etc.) or against them. Like, the point is to snoop around the corporations and dig up some dirt on the Relic and Yorinobu’s Arasaka branch specifically but each origin goes about it differently?

Maelstrom vs Meredith Stout choice actually matters. It’s one point in a subplot I mentioned above, where V continually makes choices on whether they’re gonna side with the corporations or the gangs/people of NC against Arasaka in order to be rid of the Relic. Also affects V’s relationship with Johnny. You can also have a real, long term relationship with Meredith if you pick her side and get Militech support, or count on Maelstrom to help you in the main plot against Arasaka. Both sides will still attack V if they poke their nose in, meaning random encounters can still happen.

^ The subplot is like, making a deal with the devils (The corpos) or... other devils (The gangs). One person objectively could say one is better than the other, but they’re both awful. Night City is kind of rotten to the core, and V’s problems can’t be fixed by a pursuit of justice. V can still be a good person in either case, and it’s still kept kind of punk by going against the head honchos. I think this more suits the “Wake the fuck up, Samurai. We have a city to burn.” quote because V is churning up a path to the top, even if their methods are purely selfish. V themselves can be uninterested in righting wrongs, but they kind of turn NC on its head by challenging Arasaka so changes come anyway.

Point, is you fuck everything up either way. THEN, V can choose whether to trust the corporations and work with Hanako to “change the system from within” without disrupting people’s day-to-day lives (short term good choice I suppose?) or to let the gangs rise up and cause total anarchy. (long term good? since the downtrodden are rising up and maybe there shouldn’t be absolute power in the hands of a few.)

T-Bug doesn’t die. V thinks she’s dead, but sometime in Act 2 gets an anonymous call and meets up with T-Bug. She went underground after the botched heist, and isn’t eager to work with V again. Maybe you do a few missions with her, and she comes around? Or you fuck up and never hear from her again. I imagine she’d love to poke around at the Relic, if V helps her.

Giving Jackie’s body to Vik has real consequences. If you give his body to his mother, you attend the ofrenda and get his bike, his mom allows you to use his den as a place to stay... It’s basically the ‘good’ choice, if you care about the characters. If you give his body to Vik, you unlock a side mission where Arasaka steals his body to find the relic. You have to go and find it but it was destroyed(?) at some point by Arasaka. You can get his pistols (Which are, aside from Johnny’s pistol, the best weapons in the game. I don’t get why they aren’t in canon...) in this route and whole lotta angst, so his mom basically hates you because she blames you for not being able to bury her son and the bar is off limits. No getting the bike, either.

More content involving Alt Cunningham. V still witnesses the scene with her and Johnny, her kidnapping and death. But, Ghost AI Alt allows V to look into Alt’s memories for information on Mikoshi. V accidentally accesses some more personal memories. We can see Alt as more of a fleshed out actual person, not just a tragic backstory for Johnny. Some of the memories do involve Johnny, and the tone is very different from her perspective. We see that Alt has genuine affection for him, but Johnny is possessive and abusive... It’s far from the relationship Johnny recalls. Of course, Johnny can see all this too since he lives in V’s head. He and V have a heart to heart afterwards, with Johnny realising how badly he treated Alt and yeah. I wasn’t satisfied with how Alt was just used as a sob story for Johnny, but I was sent an ask by an anonymous person about how the memory was from his perspective and thus biased. It really got me thinking! If I was more creative, I’d come up with a way for Alt to live... But Johnny still needs to bomb Arasaka and Alt’s death was the reason why he did that.

You have to return one of your apartments/safe houses every few days to wash and sleep. If not, V will get a penalty that means they are less accurate when aiming and slower when breaking in a vehicle. Also some NPC’s will refuse to talk to you if you don’t bathe, because... stinky.

And you have to eat! Otherwise you get hungry, and get penalties for that too. Can’t concentrate on an empty stomach. I’d say eating once or twice a day would be enough.

Instead of fast travel points (that are supposed to be taxi services, I think...? But we never see a taxi! And why can’t we just call Del? Ugh.), V takes the metro. There are side missions that can sometimes only start once you get on or off of a train. (You meet NPC’s in the train, or waiting for one.)

Takemura and Johnny are romance options, and are available for all genders. They’re the most difficult to romance, with some (kind of obvious) dialogue choices ending the possibility. Like, for example: Takemura’s romance ends badly if you choose to go against the corporations, and Johnny’s ends badly if you go with the corporations. It’s the same with Meredith, essentially, in that going against her won’t allow you to romance her. I know a rival-mance system is possible, but I think that might be too complicated.

Takemura and V’s relationship is much, much deeper. They have more time together, and grow closer. Takemura trains V in combat, and takes over from Coach Fred in the street fights side missions. You go with Takemura to fights, he’s your coach, is very proud when you win. (He’s basically training V in the event that they have to take on Adam Smasher and Oda. Like, why did we have no training montages with Takemura?!) V is able to choose romance or stay friends with him. There’s plenty more missions with Takemura too, mainly espionage stuff against Yorinobu. Finding out his weaknesses, replacing his staff with people that are loyal to Hanako, digging for dirt on him. Lots of stake outs, hehe. 😉 Romance!™️ Also makes it that much more tragic if V doesn’t choose to trust the corporations, since Takemura will end things and leave NC.

There are garages to upgrade your cars but Panam can upgrade it further if you do her missions + befriend her, and you can find super secret parts for your cars that Panam needs all around NC by stealing them from gangs or Corpos! Like, make your car go 200 mph fast or a setting to make it hover. 😎

FOUND FAMILY TROPE... Involving the LI’s + more characters. I wanted Misty, Vik, Judy, Panam, River and Kerry to all know each other and be friends. Also, somewhere for them to hang out. Judy coming down and hanging out with Misty and Vik would’ve been so cool.

Missions involving Vik. I think he deserved his own personal missions. Also, he’s gotta be romanceable! I’ll add more to this later.

I’m still figuring out how Johnny’s romance would go. It’s a tricky one. Lots of tension, jealously if V flirts with anybody... Heart to hearts... Holding hands... Passive aggressive confessions of love...

River is introduced in the main story. Maybe you team up to hunt down somebody who knows stuff about the Relic, like Anders Hellman, or something else to do with it. River’s like “What the fuck is going on?” but V doesn’t really tell him. Then, of course, you meet him later on and recognise him in the BD given to you by Jefferson.

Meeting Kerry earlier in the story, say mid Act 2? Ideally there would have been 5 Acts, and maybe I’ll edit this to include more once I figure out how the story could have gone. AND he’s part of the main story.

Less generic, “get in, get item and get out” side missions from Fixers and more side missions like the Peralez’s and that guy who got crucified. More freaky Cyberpunk subjects like what constitutes a soul, what is “intelligence” (What makes a machine different than a human? Without shitty false racism analogies), human rights abuses (and in that: classism, racism, ableism, transphobia), pollution, more on “Cyberpsychos” and how harmful that term is, etc. Nauced and thought-provoking. Reminding us that this is a dystopia and the issues are different but not all that wildly so from today. I would’ve developed Brendan’s mission more, because it seemed like we were going to see an earnest discussion on Artificial Intelligence but instead it was just confusing and “Haha, tricked you!” 🥱 Like, what if he really was a person capable of free thought and emotion? And that company still owns him and can overwrite him? Isn’t that fucked up?! It didn’t need a happy ending, just something to unnerve me.

Adding to that, Delamain had plenty of opportunities to discuss AI and the rights of individual contructs. His “children” could be freed, but nothing really happens as a result? I wanted consequences! The emails about human staff being made redundant because of Delamain were so interesting, too. I wanted to see something about the consequences of that in a city with no basic universal income. What happened to them? What can be done to help people who are made redundant by machines? So many possibilities for truly emotional and scary side missions!

I’m gonna watch black mirror for more inspiration, but stuff like the IRL blocking feature? Freaky as hell and totally plausible. Would’ve loved if one of the side missions involved V getting involved in some dispute involving something like that. “I can’t see his face!” or the copyright stuff about people’s appearances! Imagine if there was a Johnny lookalike? Engram Johnny would either find it hilarious or get really pissed off.

I’m hoping the DLC will deliver on more Takemura, so I’ll hold my breath for critiquing the Arasaka ending.

More to come! I’ll probably edit this later, if there’s any mistakes and/or I realise I hate an idea hehe.

#CP2077 rewrite challenge #cp77 spoilers #cp77 critical #If CDPR just released the pre-2018 script I could write about that instead so here we are #I've forgotten so much so I'm doing this bit by bit as I replay!

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hellomynamiseglaf · 3 years

Text

🌰Chestnuts and Warm Milk🍂

My List of ~Favorites~ for Interactive Fiction and Visual Novels

(This is a work in progress so please bear with me)

Interactive Fiction:

The Wayhaven Chronicles (WIP Series in Development) - @seraphinitegames (Look,,, I’m just... obsessed.. I can’t stop thinking abt it,,, and I'm..... sometimes, I read and I think I feel like I know what love is.)

Mind Blind (WIP) - @mindblindbard (I just,, UGH it’s so good. I can't even say that much because my feelings about it are so potent that everytime I see an update I try to tell myself to leave it alone to play larger portions of updates as a treat and everytime my willpower FAILS and I replay the demo like twice in a row)

Demon: Recollect ; Forsaken (WIP) - both by @bathalafiction (whew...WHEW!!! Are you kidding me?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Look. I was attached to Demon: Recollect. I loved it. And then I played the Forsaken WIP and now I can't get over my absolutely BOMB character design for my player persona. Also it's kind of fun being considered a jerk in the game, because it opens up a lot of different options that I usually feel bad about taking)

Shadow Society - @carawenfiction (the concept is so interesting,, I dream of more. Also Quaiel...baby...)

The Soul Stone War - @intimidatingpuffinstudios (also whew!! I really enjoyed it and the characters all picture themselves really vividly in my mind for some reason.)

Greenwarden (WIP) - @fiddles-ifs (reading this is like thick fog.. but in a good way? I don't know how to describe it without pictures but this IF smells like fog over wet grass)

Divine Intervention (WIP) - @divineinterventiongame (the concept?? UGH SO GOOD. For some reason it's always the first game I click to check for updates)

Golden (WIP) - @milaswriting (😈😈😈😈)

Blood/line (WIP) - @bloodlineoffical (simply put,,, LARRY)

Supernatural in New York ; The Bastard of Camelot (both WIPs) - @llamagirl28 (UGH Both of these are so good in their own ways but equally as exciting to see updates for. I haven't consolidated my feelings much further than "my MC for SiNY is so cute" and "Mordred is a child" but they're all generally positive.)

Ace of Spades (WIP) - @steph-writing (I keep thinking about,,, con........)

Nevermoore (WIP) - @asteristories (AHHHHH.... let me say it again for those in the back: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

Son of Satan: The Mortal Coil (WIP) - @sosthemortalcoil (YES.)

Shepherds of Haven (WIP) - @shepherds-of-haven (yes. I just have to sigh because it's very good and I like saying those funny little words of power. But also outside of the game I can only picture this game as a great, grey border collie)

Attollo (WIP) - @attollo (Also a very interesting concept, whoo... I almost forgot how immersive it was untill I played the demo again and was reminded of how 'into it' I was straight off the bat. Also the seperate, short little piece on the blog with Sysba was also really good and I had a dream about it the other day)

Into the Shadows (WIP) - @wynnakang (whooo.... I'm sighing again, but louder. I press restart and play the demo again)

A Comedy of Manors (WIP) - @sviyaginthegreat (I kept replaying options that I hadn't chosen before because I wanted there to be more lmao)

Fallen Hero: Rebirth - @fallen-hero (I think there's a sequel coming up? I haven't stopped thinking about this storyline since I finished it omg... the.. the details are really good and I've become ridiculously attached to my tragic villain? Character... she IS the standard for my reusable IF persona, or at least one of my most prominent ones ;-D )

Samurai of Hyuga (WIP series) - (I'm pretty sure multiplechoicestudios.com is the development blog for this game, or at least what I've been checking for updates..... this is a series with four book currently out.... and I've been playing through book 4 at slower than a snail's pace in a desperate attempt to prolong my experience. I really didn't think I was going to like it as much as I did but I got a little too into it and now I'm horribly attached to all the characters)

The Porthecrawl Witness(WIP) - @porthecrawl-witness (I'm pretty sure this is a WIP?? But ugh. SCREEEEEE- it's so good. It's SO GOOD. I really want to punch Talbot in the face. And Asher, if for a different reason. And sort of Staci just to try. Quinn is just a cutie I could never hurt him like that. Ugh but they're all so good and I forgot that I was reading a WIP untill it suddenly was over..... I'mfeeling really aggressive rn as I'm writing this, so please just note that the punch comment is meant as a statement on how interesting the concept and immersiveness of the characters and story is)

Forgotten Names (WIP) - by Alexandra_Zorila on the CoG Forum (turn the volume up. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Look, look. It's..... delicious. It's SO interesting and I obsessively have a tab open on my computer to check for updates)

OFNA: Birds of a Feather (WIP) - @ofna (the vibes are so grey and smoky but the fog is definitely from a party smoke machine and the room is only dark because the walls are taped with those huge sheets of black construction paper that teachers use to cover their bulletin boards with... the game definitely falls in the 'dark and mysterious' genre but something just strikes me as really funny when I play it. Anyway it's good and it's in a lot if recommended lists for a reason. Also I'm very attached to my American Goldfinch)

More Things in Heaven and Earth (WIP) - @morethingsgame (in the same way that it's fun to play Guenevere in the Guenevere game or Mordred in The Bastard of Camelot, playing Ophelia in the sort-of Hamlet story is really fun. If anyone has read the Missing collection- which I absolutely love- by Margaret Peterson Haddix, this gives me similar vibes for some reason. Anyway, I really want to give Hamlet a hug and make him a flower crown or something)

A Tale of Crowns (WIP) - @ataleofcrowns (It's kind of not even funny how much I love this game... It's hard to even describe why I like it, just that it's so well rounded in terms of the story, characters, dialogue, and relationships. It's such an interesting plotline and it's pretty immersive. Also the first time I read the demo, there was an update as I was reading and the high that sent me on has very rarely been matched. Also Dara running to save my Crown in the tunnel?? 🤚😩🤭💓 ugh. UGH!! That's good food for my fool heart)

Scout: An Apocalypse Story (WIP)- @anya-dev (I'm usually not that into apocalypse themes/plots but I really enjoyed this game, and the plot was very good and intruiging... it really pulled me in and I like my character in the story a lot. I don't know why but it tastes like chikuwa, atsuage, and this specific type of carmelized onions that my mom makes sometimes)

Nothing left to burn (WIP)- @clowdee-works (......ouch. I *knew* what was going to happen and I STILL became attached to Drew)

Smoke and Velvet - @roast-ifs (It's good. And I am VEDY much into my character design. Also the story is really interesting, and I enjoy the setting a lot somehow)

Speaker (WIP)- @speakergame (very fun to play, and each update gets me more interested in the aspects of the plot. I also really like the little descriptions of what the characters think of the player)

The Nameless (WIP)- @parkerlyn (interesting plot, I like the characters a lot, and The aesthetics of this world are so interesting. Definitely had a good time visualizing what everything looked like)

Fields of Asphodel (WIP) - @asphodelgame (I think it's really cute so far!!! I like mythology in general, and the persephone/hades dynamic is *mwah!*... I like the way the story progresses in the beginning, and I think it works well in drawing the reader into the world. I also very much enjoy petting large dogs.)

...there are so much more.. and I have followed so many blogs.........

I'm not sure why I can't find it rn but there's this one WIP game that I really like where the MC buys a manor for like dollar and moves to go live there with her best friend and shenanigans ensue as they try to settle in and fix up the estate

Harbringer (WIP) - @harbringercog (....are you KIDDING me?? I was fully planning on just enjoying the demo and keeping a mental note to update the list sometime later,,, but this game... THIS GAME really made me fold. It's very immersive and regardless of how nervous the author claims to be after releasing the demo, it's of my humble opinion that those nerves can be calmed. It's very good. I was planning on procrastinating and reading a little bit and then going back to this essay I need to write, but somehow I got pulled in and ended up reading through the whole demo and it's apparent that I honestly had no chance of getting through this without becoming invested in the plot.... just... so good.. I'm very excited to see how this will progress)

Visual Novels:

Andromeda 6 (WIP) - @andromeda-six (I repeat: Obsessed, I come back every few months to see an update and I fall deeper into the hole every time...)

To the Edge of the Sky (WIP,, probably) - by Ajané (??) on Steam (I think, it’s been a while)

Next on my list to check out: Perfumare by pdrrook

Does.... does The Arcana game by Nix Hydra count as VN?? If so, then yes.

Similarly, the FictIF games are all entertaining, although Last Legacy and Heir to Love and Lies are my favorites rn (and.....unfinished....)

I also don't know if this counts, because I kind of consider Otome games to be their own genre, but on the Love 365: find your story by Voltage Inc. There are a bunch of fun stories, my favorite of which are: the Shinichi Kagari route on After School Affairs and the Saejima and Keiichiro routes on Bad Boys do it Better

..To be continued...

#IF_VN #fis fic recs #interactive fiction #visual novels #game #recommendations

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dumbass-mha-simp · 3 years

Text

Elliott x GN!Reader

Your New Playlist

Kinda sad? Ig angst but not actually like, bad angst yk.

1k words

Stardew Valley

Warnings: crying, mentally beating yourself over a crush, self-sacrificing but not in a death kinda way, cussing (I think like one f word), Elliott is a theater kid you can't convince me otherwise,

I wanna do a part two, would anyone be interested? I know how much us Elliott simps want fanfiction. I'm probably gonna start on it anyway lol.

Yes I actually made this playlist smh ikik, you don't have to listen to it ofc but his aesthetic really fits my music taste, at least I feel so. I write my fanfiction as gender neutral as I can but if you ever spot any mistakes I'd love to fix it!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elliott's POV

My feet took me across the path leading to Leah's house. The gentle cotton clouds stretching their wisps across the blue sky, bright enough to blind me as though it were the sun that it surrounds. The gentle new Spring breeze froze my cheeks lightly as my eyes closed to avoid the same chill from the past winter.

Fresh Spring flowers and hidden vegetables encircled her yard as I made my way to knock against the dark wood door that always seemed thunderingly loud.

Leah peaked through the window by her door before I can see her face light up and reach for the door.

"Hey, c'mon in!" She opens the door wider to let me pass through. "How are you doing?"

"If I'm honest, a little troubled." I sigh looking forlornly to the floor.

"Come sit." Leah pulls me to her table and sits in the accompanying seat. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"Leah, what does it feel like to you before you admit you fancy someone?" I look up into her listening eyes before her face changes into slight shock.

"Hmmm." She brings her hand up to her chin as she ponders. "Well, you miss being around them when they're gone. You constantly find ways to connect anything back to them, like `oh they'd love this`, or `I should check up on them.` You care about their opinion more than others and you want to learn about them, even if it's the uninteresting things."

I slide my arms down onto the table, placing my head on top of them. That sounded exactly like what's happening. I had read about it a million times, falling gently in love with a close friend. Perhaps that interest to become friends was always attraction.

"I can't get enough of Y/N." I muffled through my folded arms sighing once again as I turned my head to finally look back up at Leah, the light stinging my eyes.

"Well maybe I could help you with getting more of them?" Leah smirked as she grabbed her phone from her pocket.

I lifted my head slightly panicked. "What are you doing?" I rushed out.

"Relax, I'm not telling Y/N. But they shared something with me. They have a wide music taste yes?"

I had heard some of their music. While they made us lunch, while they partake in their hobbies, when they hum near silently late at night on the beach. I nodded back thinking of how they never seemed to be signing along to a song similar to the others. Unpredictable, and absolutely captivating.

"Well one of their tastes in music is very folk-y and they mentioned how those songs reminded them of you. So they made a playlist of songs that remind themselves of you." Leah said looking down and scrolling through her phone.

They made a playlist about me. They actively want to remember and listen to things that remind themselves of me. I feel I might faint. Was this something that was common among friends? Was this nothing more than an act of kindness? Or something they decided to do on a whim?

"Here give me your phone I'll send it to you." She holds her hand out expectantly.

I quickly go to pull out the hardly used device. I had never had much use for it but if it could bring me any step closer to Y/N I wouldn't hesitate to learn.

Leah downloaded a music app, laughing at how I had no applications. Before leaving it opened on the playlist. "The Lonely, Ocean-Accompanied, Writer." It read. I reread it a couple times to convince myself it was real. A lovely name, but is that how they see me?

"Chill out, Romeo." Leah giggled. "I can practically see you overthinking everything. Just relax and listen to the songs, maybe they'll tell you something."

I wrapped my arms around her neck, hugging her closely before leaving to listen to the playlist.

~~~

As I shut the door behind me I pressed my back against it. I've never felt so scattered before. I looked for the volume button, turning it up before hitting play.

The songs, quiet but emotional. As though you had just lie down on the grass to cry or relieve tension or reminisce. They felt like a memory I had trouble recalling.

The songs seemed to renew me, before I heard one I distinctly remembered hearing before. From high-school theater club, a time in my life that was fond to me. I do remember Y/N telling me they loved musicals, hearing them hum along to Heathers while I wrote.

A song unlike most others on this list.

"When He Sees Me" from Waitress.

~~~

Y/N's POV

"Oh, Yoba. What if when he sees me, I like him and he knows it? What if he opens up a door, And I can't close it?" I belted out the lyrics as loud as I wanted, the tears streaming down my face unwavering.

The good side to owning your own farm is you could scream along to your songs without people to complain. You had been replaying this part of the song for awhile now. He was all you could seem to think about.

Your head was swarmed with thoughts of Elliott. Some where he reciprocated your feelings and others where he shut you out. Every time you built a daydream where he loved you unconditionally you trampled it with the thoughts of his rejection.

You brought your knees up to your chest, resting your head between them as you cried.

~~~

Elliott's POV

We had had conversations about musicals, perhaps that's why they chose this song? Maybe they thought since my school had a play of Waitress that it'd fit. But I know they liked other Waitress songs, why weren't those added? Only this one.

After that song came another, "I Hear A Symphony" one I've never heard. As the song started all I could see was Y/N. I could hear them singing along, their smile, their eyes averting to mine for the thousandth time.

Y/N was my symphony.

The powerful, breathtaking ocean couldn't compare to the awkward farmer that ran across town just to give me their best sweet pea flowers and be the first thing I saw as I left my quaint cabin.

They brought the motivation and inspiration for 8 hour writing sessions, they brought me food when they knew I'd forgotten to eat between writing the book and planning on what to write next.

They were something I could never dream of losing. I wished to live the rest of my life with their support.

If telling them my feelings means I'd lose them, then I couldn't dream of making such a selfish decision.

~~~

Y/N's POV

I trudged my way into town. After last night's crying session my eyes still felt a bit dry, if I'm honest I cried when I woke up as well. The loneliness felt suffocating in such a lonely little house. But I needed some new seeds. The stone path drawing all my attention as I walked.

As I walked into Pierre's it wasn't hard to tell that people could see something was off. After buying my seeds I felt a hand on my shoulder, turning around to find Elliott.

"Y/N are you feeling alright? You look as though you've been distressed lately." You motion to him to follow you and walks out of the store behind you.

You take a deep breath as you start to tear up a bit more. He reaches for your face as he lifts it up, looking at the pooling tears.

So many things, the things you could have said. But they didn't come up. Instead a vision of his face of discomfort at your confession. You couldn't bear it. You couldn't tell him.

"I've just been stressed. I'm sorry for worrying you, Elliott." You sigh, attempting to put up a fake smile as you wipe your eyes. He retracts his hand as he looks guilty. Fuck does he feel like it's his fault?

"Well I'm willing to listen to your troubles if you ever need." He also puts on a strained smile as you both part ways.

"This is for the best." They both whisper as they leave.

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reallybadfeeling · 3 years

Text

My Obikin Playlist Masterpost

I'm gonna try to explain my reasoning, but you can give each song whatever interpretation you want. Also, use them however you want if any of them inspire you to make something creative.

(PS: Sorry for my ranting on the first song. I'm very passionate about it in particular.) (Tagging @imtryingsstuff because she asked for it. Even though I was already working on this post before she asked. I have way too much free time.)

☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧

❧ Heart + Bones - Roisin O

I've tried to sit down and write this song out Feels like a thousand times But I was always too scare of what I might find But if I keep on blocking this pain out It might be too late To heal my heart somehow Don't wanna open that wound Don't wanna replay that night Don't wanna think about you You are no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know that love is gone 'Cause if I let myself think of you I might lose my mind It's the heart and bones It's an empty soul The dreams at night that shake me to my core And I can't get up off this floor It's in the bones of me An empty soul in me The dreams at night that shake me to my core I can't get off this floor [...] Don't wanna think about you When you're no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know this love is gone [...] The dreams at night that shake me to my core I just can't take this hurting anymore [...] Don't wanna think about you You are no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know this love is gone 'Cause if I let my mind think of you I might lose it all I've tries to sit down and write this song out Feels like a thousand times

A fair warning: each and every break-up song in this playlist is basically me crying at the idea of a very heart broken Obi-Wan post RotS alone on Tatooine. But for this song in particolar I mention the repetitions with the slight differences because in my eyes they are actually HUGE! The more the song goes on, the more Obi-Wan is spiraling! The way it specifically tells that the empty soul is his the second time, like he accepts that despite what Anakin did he still thinks there's a soul there to save, and the idea of not doing so makes his soul feel empty. And the switch from "get up off this floor" to "get off this floor", literally him being so desperate he stops thinking that he wants to get up (and the last time it literally becomes "i just can't take this hurting anymore", because Obi-Wan had to see so many people he loves die, he literally can't take any more breaking of his heart). The first "you are no longer mine" is the realization hitting him, but then it becomes "when you are no longer mine" and that feels like acceptance of that realization (but then later in the song it turns back to "you are no longer mine" like he's so desperate he wants to deny it once again, distance himself from it)! The switch from "that love" from "this love", like the first time he's thinking about how Anakin no longer loves him, but then realizes that no matter how much he still loves Anakin, there is actually nothing he can do about how everything is broken. But most of all the first time it's "if I let myself think of you I might lose my mind", which is Obi-Wan still being rational about things, or at least trying not to let his mind linger on the thought of Anakin; but then at the end it becomes "if I let my mind think of you I might lose it all", because he's already thinking about Anakin and he can't let his mind linger on it, otherwise he would realize how much he lost when he lost Anakin, which is everything. And the ending too, by repeating the start, but now it has a feeling of resignation to it, like at first he was literally scared to let himself linger on his feelings because he knew he would find heart break, but now he's just empty and at the same times he knows he'll feel like that a thousand times more, because he just can't let that hurt go, he can't let his love for Anakin be forgotten. ... I love this song and it shows. I mean, the playlist is literally named after it for a good reason. I swear I'll be less wordy for every other explanation.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Black Hole - Griff

It seems like things are going really well for you I wish that I could say the same about me too I wish that I could say the same [...] Without a trace You disappeared and took some of me with you, babe Like the way I used to laugh untile my belly ached Well, that's all gone away now And boy, you know I've tried to pray, I've bruised my knees I've tried to bring you back to me I've tried my best to find some kind of peace Don't you see? There's a big black hole where my heart used to be And I've tried my best to fill it up with things I don't need It don't work like that, no, it's not easy To fill this gap that you left in me

So, I see this as a song for an AU, maybe a Modern Au. Something basic like the two of them maybe being neighbors and Obi-Wan maybe being a tutor for Anakin when he was a teen, and Anakin having a huge crush on him. But then Obi-Wan marries and Anakin is heart broken. (Don't worry the idea is also that Obi-Wan gets a divorce and comes back to Anakin, but still, the song fits for the first part of this idea). But feel free to see whatever else you want in it.

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❧ Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips

I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bride To make you well, to make you well When enemies are at your door I'll carry you away from war [...] Give me reasons to believe That you would do the same for me And I will do it for you, for you Baby, I'm not moving on I'll love you long after you're gone

This is honestly a classic. It would fit with any ship, but that line about lying, cheating, etc... That screams Anakin. Like, literally canon that he would do anything to keep the person he loves with him.

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❧ What You Talking About? - Peter Bjorn and John

You used to be my hero Now you're just another boss [...] Five years as your understudy When I can't understand what you talking about [...] Tell me lies and I will listen Tell the truth and I'll be gone Tell me why I need permission [...] Shining in your shadow How could I sink this low? Our acquaintance has been so-so And I can't understand where my patience's gone

These lyrics just give me very frustrated Anakin as a Padawan trying to navigate his relationship with Obi-Wan. Not very romantic or shippy, but still relevant in my opinion.

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❧ Bruci la città - Irene Grandi

(Let) The city burn down or live in fear (that) within two hours everything will disappear anything else will disappear [...] I can't stop (myself) from screaming That I hold you to my heart To protect you from evil That I wish I could soothe Your pain, your pain [...] (Let) The stars explode (Let) The whole thing explode (Let) Everything other than the two of us die At least for a little bit At least as a mistake [...] I want to get my act together Maybe be better And shield you with my heart From catastrophe and fear

Don't really know why, but this makes me think of a quiet moment in the middle of the Clone Wars, just Anakin and Obi-Wan alone in a tent, hoping to have a moment of peace in each other's arms. (If you want the full lyrics translated let me know, I just picked my favorite parts)

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❧ Atlantis - Seafret

We got here the hard way All those words that we exchange Is it any wonder things get dark? 'Cause it's in my heart, it's in my head I never take back the things I said [...] I can't save us My Atlantis, we fall We've built this town on shaky ground [...] Now all the birds have fled The hurt just leaves me scared Losing everything I've ever known It's all become too much Maybe I'm not built for love If I knew that I could reach you, I would go

SO MUCH OBI-WAN ANGST POST-ROTS! Like, the birds that have fled are the Jedi that survived Order 66, the things impossible to take back a reference to the entire conversation between Anakin and Obi-Wan during their duel... And the one thing that always breaks me: "maybe I'm not built for love", which makes me think about that "infinte sadness" thing that comes from one of the novels. *chef kiss*

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❧ No Time To Die - Billie Eilish

I should have known I'd leave alone Just goes to show That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe We were a pair [...] You were my life, but like is far away from fair Was I stupid to love you? Was I reckless to help? Was it obvious to everybody else? That I'd fallen for a lie You were never on my side [...] I let it burn You're no longer my concern Faces from my past return Another lesson yet to learn

Don't know about you, but this always makes me think of a lonely and bitter Obi-Wan after RotS. There's also another way of reading this honestly. This could absolutely be Anakin spiraling at the end of RotS, convinced that Padmé doesn't love him anymore; and then Vader facing Luke (the face from the past returning) and realizing the one who always lied to him was Palpatine.

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❧ White Flag - Dido

I know I left too much mess and Destruction to come back again And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again And if you live by the rules of "it's over" Then I'm sure that that makes sense But I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be And when we meet Which I'm sure we will All that was there Will be there still I'll let it pass And hold my tongue And you will think That I've moved on

There's no doubt that this song has been overused. And it is a very classic meme, so sometimes it's hard to take it seriously. But I still love it. And I can't help but relate this to something with Vader trying to redeem himself but failing at that too, and his and Obi-Wan's relationship still being broken as fuck.

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❧ Fight the End - The playground

When it's all falling apart I'll be the one who can hold you Console you When everything's getting dark And you can't find the spark To get through I'll fight for you till the end Whatever's broken I'll mend For you If you think it's all gone Just breathe in and hold on Till the end of time

Once again, just some H/C during the Clone Wars kind vibes, but also good for an apocalypse AU of some kind.

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❧ Hanging On A Lie - Striking Matches

I'm not mentioning a specific part of this song, because the entire thing in my head is just the whole journey of Anakin turning to the Dark Side and then turning back to the Light right before he died. Seriously, up until the first chorus, it's just Anakin talking about what he feels like about Padmé's supposed betrayal. ("Baby you've been up to something / don't you tell me it's not what it looks like" but also "I might have been naive but I'm not blind" and "Don't you know you should know better than this / Than to cover up the truth with your poisonous lips/I'm not falling for it this time"). The second half of the song is Vader facing Luke. ("I'll be the one who got away from you when you / finally figure it out / you won't find me"). And the last part is Vader realizing all the lies Palpatine told him all alon. ("I'm not fallin' for it this time/try and try too little too late" and again the "you should know better than this/than to cover up the truth with you poisonous lips") A bit of a weird interpretation, that's for sure. But look at me making a song about cheating all about Anakin's journey!

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❧ Bloodsport '15 - Raleigh Ritchie

Your love is worth it and for that I will wait And though you hate me when you have a turn I drive you crazy, but you always return [...] Although you love me, sometimes we're mean Things can get ugly, but we're still a team We are an army that breaks from withing but That's why we're stronger and that's how we'll win [...] I've got your back, and though it's stacked against us I've got your hand, it's us against consensus And I will burn the people who hurt you the worst and I will no learn Cause I am too young and too dumb to consider the terms of breaking the law And I'll curse the day that they return With a smile on my face as their heads hit the floor And they're done, now it's curtains, the bloodlust's a clusterfuck, it hurts but it's working And even if you ask me to stop, it's too late because I've already decided their fate It's not a distaste, it's pure hate and it pulsates and it works its way around my brain Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I'll protect you till the day I meet my maker So don't fight me now cause you might need me later Loving you is a bloodsport Fighting in a love war It's not what I'm in love for, I'm yours I don't know if you can help it, maybe I'm just being selfish

Soooo, basically Anakin doing to Obi-Wan what he did to Padmé: loving him so much he thinks he has to turn to the Dark Side to save him. The first part I can almost imagine said by Obi-Wan, actually. Like, he's aware that sometimes Anakin hates their dynamics, but also that they are both in love... Which just ends with total madness.

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❧ Sweet Love of Mine - Joy Williams

I was broken, I was blind Lost in a moment I thought I left behind Then you woke up this dark soul of mine Carrying a light I thought I'd never find When you found me, I was all alone The whole world around me, but nowhere to call home I heard your voice sing like heaven's choir Gathered up my fears and threw them in the fire

I'm well aware this song is about pregnancy and how the singer found herself in the experience of becoming a mother. BUT, hear me out: what about an AU with either one of them being a Sith and the other one is still a Jedi. Instead of fighting each other, the Jedi tries to save the Sith, because they realize that the Sith actually never had a chance to be anything else since they grew up with a Sith as their "parent" and Master. But if we still want to keep the pregnancy element, fuck it! It's perfect for an Omegaverse AU, with Anakin maybe about to fall when he finds out he's pregnant and that is how Obi-Wan and their unborn child save Anakin. (Is this very specific? Yes. Do I care? Nope, and that's why this song made it into the playlist.)

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❧ Senza fare sul serio - Malika Ayane

There's a post on my blog already about why this song makes me think about the Jedi Order in general. I know I should probably keep it in a different playlist. Alas, it's still here. Have a link to my previous post if you are interested on reading a complete translation and the explanation of my reasoning. HERE!

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❧ Conversations in the Dark - John Legend

I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart [...] And we, we got places we both gotta be But there ain't nothing I would rather do Then blow off all my plans for you

It's just such a lovely love song, I couldn't help myself. This seriously gives me sappy Obi-Wan vibes in any way, shape or form.

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❧ If You Ever Leave, I'm Coming With You - The Wombats

You know I'll do Whatever you want me to [...] Take you out of this You reluctant optimist And if you ever leave, I'm coming with you Stuck to the gum that's stuck on your shoe If you ever leave, I'm coming with you [...] Am I losing you in the dark baby? No more breaking stuff No more acting up Filling your head with doubt

A song about the obsessive kind of love that hints of a way too dependent relationship? Something that mentions losing themselves in the dark? Of fucking course I relate this to Anakin and the way he loves people!

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❧ Transplant - Sea Girls

You're breaking all the promises tonight I'm always dancing by myself as the music plays I'm always one step behind, off-beat, out of place Now I'm looking for you, you're looking away [...] Your heart changed Mine stayed the same I don't recognize your voice when you're saying my name Your heart changed And mine beats the same way [...] Wish I could be back in the moment We were shining, we were making mistakes 'Til your heart changed Mine stayed the same

Have I mentioned that I have a lot of RotS feels? Yeah, so, in my head the "dancing" works like an analogy to fighting and the "music" is literally the sound of battle. Which is why this fits perfectly as far as I'm concerned. An even the "always one step behind" part is just Obi-Wan not realizing Anakin was slowly turning to the Dark Side. But it can be related also to how Anakin basically felt like he didn't truly belong with the Jedi.

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❧ Read my Mind - JONES

Can't control my thoughts But I'm trying every day [...] But sometimes I want impossible things When you hear my voice, what does it say? Need a language, we're lost in translation From impossible thoughts and feelings Why don't you know before I know? What I need to say, before I can How come you don't have the answer Before I asked you the question? Wish you could read my mind [...] It's been a long time since we've been together In the same world, just want you to look at me Like I was everything you ever wanted again [...] Just hold me like I'm everything you wanted again

A good song of the two people pining will always make me think of those two dorks. And their feeling are definitely lost in translation even in canon, with Anakin never realizing how much Obi-Wan actually cares for him because of Palpatine's manipulations.

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❧ So Much It Hurts - Niki & The Dove

Oh, I ask you where you've been 'Cause you always come home late nowadays What a fool was I to think we were safe From the thieves in the temple [...] Oh, won't you bring it back? After all that we've been through together Is it now you gonna throw it all away? Oh, a love like ours Tell me, was it worth it? Oh, the thieves in the temple Oh, but you said that For better for worse You would always be there for me Always be there for me Always be there for me like I'll always be there for you Good times and bad times

So this screams Padmé being cheated on. Like, Anakin still married to her, yet he is always sneaking away after they spend time together to be in the Temple with Obi-Wan. Like, Obi-Wan is literally the thief in the Temple that steals Anakin away from her. (Which I'm sure is actually a metaphor for how the couples' marriage is the temple and someone is disrespecting it by taking away the other's lover. But look at me making this literal, 'cause why not!).

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❧ Power & Control - Marina

Give a little, get a lot That's just how you are with love [...] Think you're funny, think you're smart Think you're gonna break my heart Think you're funny, think you're smart Yeah, you may be good looking But you're not a piece of art [...] Power and control I'm gonna make you fall I'm gonna make you fall We give and take a little more 'Cause all my life I've been controlled You can't have peace without a war

Another song for an AU, this time one with both of them being Sith, most likely being enemies too at first. Before they decide to work together against Anakin's Master.

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❧ No Hero - Elisa

Don't you shut your eyes And hide you heart behind a shadow 'Cause you can count on me As long as I can breathe [...] I've fallen from grace Yeah, I'm much less a saint than a sinner Oh, no I ain't no superhuman 'Cause that's just in the movies, I know But I'll carry you throught the night Through the storm Give you love, always love in return I can't jump over buildings I'm no hero But love can do miracles I can't outrun a bullet 'Cause I'm no hero But I would take one for you [...] 'Cause I'm no hero But I'd spill my blood for you If you need me to I'll be there

Another song from an Italian artist, but this one is in English! And I totally see this song for a scenario where one of the two isn't a Jedi or even for a Modern AU. But it can totally work for Canon compliant too because Anakin is the one every calls hero with no fear. It fits then if Obi-Wan tells Anakin that he doesn't feel like a hero, but he would do anything for Anakin.

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SOOOO, this post is getting way to long (like, it was way too long even just with the first song). And I made it to an even 20 songs. I feel like this a nice place to stop for now. Don't worry, these are just the first 20. I have more in my private playlist, but I want to make another post like this when I add them to the public one. Because I can. And that's what I'm gonna do.

#obikin #obikin playlist #star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #if you do anything with these song please TAG ME!#I wanna know!#i get very emotional for heart + bones #it's one of my favorite song ever #the subtle poetry of it gets to me every single time #that is THE break up song #fight me over it #maybe I should have made a single post about it #that would have been smarter #oh well #also sorry for the truly terrible icon #i have no photoshop skill whatsoever #Spotify

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