#I've had a lot of feelings about this for the past few days

[bigification]

Handlebars

Day 1:

My first day of college was a lot more stressful than I thought it would be. I finally made it to residence last night, which only gave me one night to get settled before classes started. I was nervous to meet my roommate because of all of the horror stories I had heard about them in the past, but it ended up being so much worse than I expected. In my mind, the worst outcome was some lazy douche who never cleaned up after himself. So you can imagine my shock when I knock on the door and a full grown 30 something year old man answers the door.

"Hey, buddy. The names Mike, come on in."

He looked and sounded like a jock in a college movie, but when the actor is actually 30. His voice was deep and buttery, it almost gave me butterflies. I just smiled awkwardly and walked past him through the door.

"I'm Oscar by the way." I introduced myself.

"Cool, I'll just call you Handlebars." He said, without a care in the world.

He sat down on his bed, and that was the extent of our interactions for the day.

Day 7:

It's been a week and all my other worries about roommates came true. Not only is he 15 years older than me, he's a slob. He gets home from the gym drenched in sweat and throws his gym clothes wherever without cleaning them. He doesn't do his dishes, or any chore for that matter. In fact it seems like he intentionally keeps the place dirty after I try to clean it. And whatever musky cologne he wears attacks my nose every time I open the door, it feels like the smell seeps into everything, including my clothes.

The few times that he actually wants a chore to be done, he just asks me to do it, or rather he just tells me to do it. Normally I would be happy to tell him to go fuck himself, but I always find myself doing whatever he asks. I hate it.

"Yo Handlebars, be a doll and clean the dishes for me."

"Yo Handlebars, I ran out of clean gym clothes, mind running em down to the laundry for me."

It's like he's casting a spell whenever he talks.

Day 15:

I've started to settle into routine. The things that used to bother me about Mike seem a bit more trivial now. We've even started to become pretty close. I get enthralled by his conversations about business. He goes on and on about his father's enterprises, and how they'll be his soon.

I even started going to the gym with him lately. He lent me some of his gym clothes, even if they're way too big. It just made me appreciate him more. I never really clocked how jacked he was, sometimes he goes to the gym shirtless and it shows off his massive pecs and thick biceps.

Since joining him, I've noticed my body has improved quite significantly. I used to be skinny and lanky, but there is definition starting to show throughout my body.

Day 30:

Just a month into school and I was already on my way to failing out. I just don't care about it anymore, but Mike gave me a solution. He said I could just switch programs and do business with him, and his dad would even pay for it. How could I pass that up.

Now that I've switched, it's like all stress in my life has disappeared. Business is so easy, and now I have more time with Mike. We usually have a routine of going to the gym after our last class of the day.

"Yo Handlebars, you're lookin strong man. I'd kill to grow as fast as you."

He shouted at me from across the gym, when he caught me staring at myself in the mirror. Butterflies flew through my stomach when he said that. And he wasn't wrong, I've been noticing a lot of changes in my body. My face has matured, my eyebrows are thicker, my nose is bigger, and my jawline is more square. I even have to shave now, when I never had to before college. A five o'clock shadow engulfs my face by the end of the day, especially above my lip. The rest of my body has gotten hairier too, especially around my pecs, arms, and legs. And that's not even mentioning my progress at the gym. I actually look like I belong there, my biceps have a nice roundness to them and my chest actually sticks out from my body. Those gym clothes that Mike gave me look smaller and smaller every day.

Life in the dorms has also been a dream. I've been wearing that cologne that Mike loves, and it's like I unlocked a whole new level of confidence. People seem to love listening to me talk, and people seem to respect me more.

Day 60:

This past month has been the best month of my life. Now that I'm in my mid twenties, I can drink whenever I want. Mike and I go out raves and frat parties basically every night, my body is basically used to every drug at this point. And with Mike's dad paying for college, I literally don't need to show up to lectures and I get straight A's.

"Fuck, bro. I think you're bigger than me Handlebars."

Mike said with a shocked face when we were snapping pics at the gym. We flexed beside each other, and it was obvious. My biceps dwarfed his, and his gym clothes had become really tight on me lately. The shirt was skin tight against my upper body, showing off my juicy pecs and my growing six pack. And the shorts looked like they were about to burst under the pressure of my ass cheeks and thighs, to the point that the outline of my dick was constantly visible.

"Here bro, take this."

Mike handed me a package. It was filled with gym clothes and jocks.

"Just for you Handlebars."

I yanked him in for a bro hug, I could feel myself blushing.

"You got this all for me bro?"

"Fuck yeah, man. You've been grinding it out in the gym, don't think I haven't noticed my clothes straining against those muscles. And you need something to contain that snake in your pants before we get campus security called on us."

Mike chuckled, his laugh was infectious.

Day 100:

I started in the mirror. Sometimes I barely recognize myself. The confident and cocky mask goes away when I'm alone, just leaving the caring gym bro that's on the true inside.

Damn, I think to myself, Mike is making me too sappy. I give myself a cocky smile after shaving my face, leaving me with a thick moustache. I flex, admiring my guns and bouncing my pecs. Man I look good for a man pushing his thirties.

"Fuck, handlebars. Since when were you so hairy?" Mike asked me when I left the bathroom.

"What? Are you jealous I'm manlier than you bro?" I taunted him by opening my button up wider, revealing the thick pelt of hair that covered my body.

"Nah, it's got me feelin something tho." He smirked at me.

"Hah, I fuckin knew it. You want a piece of this." I bounced my pecs.

"Don't make it gay bro, it's not like that. Just a dude admiring another dude." He blushed.

The tension between us had been building for weeks. He would stand too close when spotting me at the gym, and I'd catch him staring at me in the mirror. Not like I haven't been doin it too. We also wear less clothes around the dorm. I still got that jock strap Mike gave me a while back, I'd be lying to myself if I said it fit but I don't care, and it seems like Mike doesn't mind either. And sometimes I wear an open button up just cuz it makes my pecs pop.

Day 120:

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this." Mike whispered in my ear. His breath was heavy as he threw me against the wall. His dick was bouncing with excitement against my ass.

For context, a few hours ago we were at the gym like normal. At this point, we didn't even go to class, it was just gym and parties now. The tension had been growing at the gym forever, sometimes we'd release by foolin around in the showers, but it never went further a quick handjob when no one was lookin. It was different this time, he couldn't keep his hands off me. Broad daylight in a busy gym, his hands would be far down my shorts, teasing.

At first I was dismissive. We already got caught multiple times by campus security, so close to getting kicked out of school. If it wasn't for Mike's dad being a rich alumni, I think both of us would be long gone by now. But he knew how to push my buttons, he always has. I gave in, but had the decency to drag him by the collar to the showers. At least there we could be naked.

Ok, back to the point. I grunted as his thick arms held me in place. Mike had been working extra hard to catch up to me, and it was showin. It turned me on, feelin his muscled forearms against my shoulders. But I wasn't gonna let him win that easily. What Mike seemed to forget was the near decade I spent in the Navy before comin to college.

I whipped around, using the hot water against our skin to slip out from his pin. I pushed his shoulder, sending him tripping over my foot, which I had conveniently placed behind his. I caught him like a damsel in distress, so there was no doubt in his mind who was on top.

Within seconds, it's like my training kicked in and I had him pinned down on his stomach. The bristles of my thick mustache rubbed against the back of his ear as I whispered, "You really thought you could top me?" I asked with a chuckle.

He moaned like a twink when I stuck my cock up his ass. It took a moment for his ass to adjust to takin a beatin rather than dishin one out, but he'll get used to it. The wet fur on my forearm slid across his back as I rode him like a bull. I could almost feel his organs rearrangin to fit my 10 inch rod.

I groaned as I felt months of sexual tension release in seconds, shooting my seed all through Mike's body. He was mine. And by the looks of it, he enjoyed the ride too. A trail of his cum ran from under his pinned body, to the drain in the middle of the showers.

"You're mine."

I whispered in his ear with a shit eatin grin.

"Now clean this mess up before you dare come back to my dorm."

I pushed off his back to get to my feet. I continued rubbing my cock as I walked away, making ropes of cum cover the showers. I walked right out of the showers and into the locker room, making sure to wink at campus security on the way out. Someone always calls them, and we always get away with it Scott free, so I think they gave up. It just feels good to make people know they're beneath you, and to do it while rubbin one out.

I cleaned up and walked alone to my dorm, sat on my couch, and waited for Mike to come back. After a few minutes, he walked in without a word. He walked over to me and laid in my lap as I turned on football. I smelled his hair, making sure he actually cleaned up like I ordered.

"Good boy." I reassured him while massaging his pecs.

Day 150:

I finally moved our stuff out of my shitty dorm. Mikey's father just decided to pay for our diplomas outright, instead of trying to turn all of our F's into A's.

We moved to L.A. and I fuckin love it here. I just walk around in nothin but a jock, and people love me for it. And there are so many entrepreneurs like me, so much money to be made.

Everyone just calls me handlebars, I can't remember the last time anyone called me my name. Now that I think about it, I don't even remember what it was, but who the fuck cares. I'm handlebars, the life of the party and the best fuck in this city.

[iz-star]

My thoughts and guesses / theories about Zayne's upcoming main story branch.

Like I've said in previous posts, I've been hella busy with work and most of all, exhausted so I haven't been able to come here and scream about the game updates (let alone draw something) but I still want to summarize my reactions from the past few days.

About the main story update, I'm really excited to see what's going to happen! I love the Dawnbreaker references but I have to be honest, I don't really think this is Dawnbreaker, he's still Dr Zayne (they both are part of each other somehow, but you understand what I mean).

Here's why:

At first, I genuinely thought this time we really would get the chance to interact with Dawnbreaker since Zayne is wearing DB's outfit and not a jumpscare outfit like in Snowy Serenity but the more I watched the trailer, the more I realized that this is still Dr Zayne which both makes me feel alleviated (cause if it were to be Dawnbreaker, it would leave us wondering where Dr Zayne is) and scared cause if he gets to suffer/ sacrifice himself in this time line like he did as Foreseer and MoF, I don't know well how I'll handle it.

He's a male lead so I don't think they will kill him off (? but somehow with Zayne one never knows, he's honestly always surprising us. In any case, my wildest theory is that if something happens to Dr Zayne, then we'll continue his branch with Dawnbreaker... idk? Anyway, don't really pay too much attention to this since it's most unlikely that something like this happens.

The impression I got after watching the trailer so many times is that this is actually Dr Zayne in the process of becoming 'Dawnbreaker' (maybe not exactly his other self but the concept) which has been one of his biggest fears; the reason? Because the Xander Sciences experiments, the severe cases of Protocore Syndrome and Metaflux anomalies are probably speeding the process of humanity to get doomed since in Dawnbreaker's world, humans turning into wanderers is something pretty recurrent and the very reason Zayne is a killer and his world is apocalyptic. Dr Zayne knows of this, he knows using protocores in human hearts is dangerous (the very reason he gave up his research in university), he also knows that to be exposed to big quantities of metaflux is what turns humans into Wanderers, he knows it because when he and William fought side by side in Mt Eternal, it was in order to destroy a Protofield that got out of hand and the Metaflux anomalies there were bringing to land more Wanderers. It was until they destroyed the protofield when William started to turn into an Abomination and then, a Wanderer.

In the trailer, Dr Zayne says something like 'We have no choice but to destroy this place" so my guess is that there is another big Metaflux anomaly like in Mt Eternal but this time in a place where there is a lot of ppl and due to being exposed to it, they're turning into Wanderers, something that Zayne as a Doctor can't cure: "Aren't you a Doctor. You should've save me!"

In fact, this is something he can only cure as Dawnbreaker:

I'm really interested to know who was the guy who asked Zayne to kill him. My guesses are:

William (and this probably a flashback).

Carter

Greyson (most unlikely since the voice didn't mach but goshh could you imagine the angst if it was him??)

So if there is another Metaflux anomaly it means that there's a Protofield that got out of hand and it probably was in either Akso Hospital or Xander Sciences company cause they had a special patient that accoring to what they say in the trailer, had a fragil heart that would've stopped long ago.

If I'm not mistaken (and since I'm currently sleepy and feeling lazy) in the World Underneath anecdotes Carter and Xander Sciences tried to keep some patients alive or to revive them using protocores and keeping him in pods but it didn't work? However, long before these anecdotes were released, we knew that there were already organizations doing research about immortality:

It seems that 'A special energy field' is necesary in order to reach better conditions to regenerate the human heart. What if this 'special energy field' is something similar to a Protofield? If we remember correctly, in both Rafayel and Xavier's myths MC's heart was necessary for them to live immortal lifes? In Rafayel's case, she seemed to give ppl some kind of energy? But at the same time she couldn't leave their city neither. In Xavier's case, her heart was like an unending source of energy for Philos core and they wanted to feed Philos core with her so they would stop to sending humans and then Philos core would stop crearing wanderers.

In both cases, it seems that MC is the source of energy of a Protofield that both gives it enough quantities of energy to keep it balanced and making ppl within this field to be immortal (like her) without the risk of becoming wanderers. In Rafayel's myth, she was already the source of this field, so there are actually no wanderers in this myth. In Xavier's myth, she wasn't the source of it so they were creating wanderers bc of it.

What if in this case, Xander Sciences discovers that the key to reach immortality lies in creating a Protofield with enough energy to create the needed conditions to regenerate human hearts for indefinite amount of time and that the KEY to achieve this lies in MC's aether core??

What if what Zayne is trying to protect here is MC's heart so they won't use her to reach immortality, EVEN if he knows that this most likely will avoid tons of deaths and will stop the creation of wanderers and ALSO will avoid his future as Dawnbreaker but even so he chooses to save her, just like he did as Foreseer and Master of Fate.

And lastly, he mentions "When that day comes... When I can't wake up" my only guesses are:

His nightmare of becoming "The Grim Reaper" will become true.

By destroying the Protofield that is creating the anomaly, he also freezes himself?

Maybe he steals part of MC's power or even he takes the creatio protocore he gave to her as Foreseer and uses it on himself so instead of using her as the source of energy for this Protofield, he offers himself as this unending source of energy? (This one is quite wild and seems unlikely to happen but I still wanted to mention it ahaha).

Anyway these are all my thoughts for now. Please take this with a grain of salt, since these are only silly theories and nothing official. We'll have to wait some days more to discover the truth.

[minhosimthings]

girl, i'm ngl i've always gotten this vibe yk... that the girl behind deluluriddhi was a minor. like i hadn't read her fics back then, it was just from one of her other posts. you see, i'm a south indian. and her way of speaking english (or writing, should i say) was exactly how you find sixth grade kids speak here. like it was kinda hard to believe that she was 21 but i just accepted it because i thought "why would someone lie about their age?"

...

like damn, when i was 11-12, i had just found out that "sex" (under quotes because i didn't know how it worked, just that it was wrong to know about it at that age) was how kids were born, and god does not magically bless a woman with a child after he sees her getting married. to be 12 and doing all that she did is crazy tbh. lying about her age and interacting with nsfw posts of author, yet claiming that said authors were sending her hate by blocking her, like of course they're gonna block you miss mam!!

and the way she didn't understand the seriousness of the situation... like i read smuts when i was a minor too, when i was 17 (because, yohoo! i was "almost an adult")... and i regret it so much because it fucked my brain up a bit, because back then i read it in wattpad (yikes, i know) and i didn't know what was ok and what was not, and in most of cases i saw, it was like porn, demeaning and dehumanising the female and glorifying the male... you don't get to know what is right and wrong until you're educated like i was by my parents when i finally turned 18.

i hope minors realise the importance of following the mdni, because it is not just respecting their boundaries but for their own good too. also this is not hate towards riddhi (not that she's gonna see it, i just saw she deactivated) but more like an older sister being mad because she cares.

To be honest, before Riddhi told me about her actual age, I, too got that slight feeling that she maybe a minor. Look I'm not saying that her writing is bad or anything, but the way she used her punctuation and everything just gave me an off feeling. But yeah as you said I accepted it, because I though what kind of a child would actively interact with NSFW content right?

You're so real for the God magically blessing women with children after marriage, indian sex ed does NOT exist at all, and definitely not in South India (I'm from Hyderabad). But yeah, even I didn't know about it other than biology classes as a child. And I get it, nowadays, children have more access to technology and more resources and they may end up seeing something accidentally too because the internet holds a lot of shit. But, to choose to actually interact more with said shit? Nah that's just plain wrong.

I feel like 17 is an alright age to just get started with NSFW. You may not be legal age, but you're nearing that area so it's fine. Of course if a blog says mdni even if you're 17 you should respect the wishes of the blog owner. But for a 12 year old? 6 years younger than legal age? That's too much of an age gap to justify.

I hope Riddhi understands that I did this for her own good and not because I'm against her or anything. I mean, no harm to her, I want her to live her childhood out. Because there's a lot of time to be an adult and it's much worse than being a child.

[palossssssand]

grief paralysis

[moonchild-in-blue]

Oh.

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[crimeronan]

every time i get an ao3 comment on a horror fic along the lines of “jesus fucking christ. this is so vile what the FUCK what the FUCKING FUCK THIS IS SO FUCKED UP” i hug my laptop to my chest and kick my feet and roll around in bed giggling like a schoolgirl who just got a love letter from her crush. omg you got physically nauseous.....? eeee

[moongothic]

There's like a part of me that realizes that I've written so much Crocodad Meta that at this point I should probably just compile and condence it all into like a giant Propaganda Post

'Cause like. Sure it's all still on my blog, but few people are going to go digging through all the crap I've posted in the past few months for all the Crocodad Evidence, so just showing it all into a single post would make for like. IDK something I could use to make a compelling argument for why Crocodad could be real

(Also it would be more like, Crocodad evidence you might find on a more meta/narrative level, like on-going themes and Oda's story telling tropes/habits etc. Other people have already made posts that breakdown and analyze Marineford and compile all the subtle details+easter eggs etc so I wouldn't even go into any of that. I mean SURE I could regurgitate all that info too but it'd be easier to just link to someone else's post instead and save myself some time lol)

But also.

Do I really want to spend an obscene amount of time making that post. Do I really want to do that.

[forgotten-daydreamer]

"have you eaten?" "yes" i said, like a liar

[marvus-xoloto]

Hi, it kind of came out of nowhere but do you think that Marvus's music would be actually good ? Like I can't imagine some 14-15 yo kid, supported and working for other kids, being professional (not that teenagers can't be great artists, but in the context of Alternia it's just different). It just kind of cracks me up if IRL he really made shitty mixtapes that hypes everyone up lmao and Teals would just work as some weird ambassador for purples/artists that resolve teenage drama haha

What do you think ? Do they have enough cultural background to compose things for themselves or Condy gave them just enough space but not quite so things can't evolve?

great blog btw i like tour writing :)

Hi!

This ask got me deep diving haha. I'll get to some more, long, rambling headcanons under the cut, but here's the short of it:

Canon tells us he has a huge, cult like following, so his music is likely "good" (which is subjective, but we'll get to that later).

He already had a background (loosely speaking) in entertainement before he got famous by being a contestent on Slam or Get Culled (which keeps him relevant; most contestant series bing back previous winners, so he's very present in the entertainment sphere). In my opinion (and this is entering headcanon territory), this means he's had plenty of relevant training regarding... hmm how to put this. Finding and keeping an audience? Putting on the entertainer's face and saying the right words? Public relations stuff, you know? Does that makes sense? This does imply that his music is somewhat commercial and easy to sell, however (although I choose not to headcanon that. Popular fanon and I agree on one thing: I like the idea that his music is kinda silly yet clever with excellent samples a la young gravy).

The idea of teals being the auspictices between the music/ entertainment industry and like, just the general population is a super fun world building element haha! I love that. I've always seen certain castes being culturally predisposed towards certain quadrants, and teals have always read as ashen-predisposed to me. Might be the neurodivergence speaking, though, haha.

That being said, the entertainment industry- both on earth in real life so likely on Alternia- is the forefront of propaganda. And while Marvus styles himself as a musician, he's actually somewhat more of a politician.

Before I deep dive under the cut, the TL;DR is: imagine if Hatsune Miku worked for, idk, the CIA. That's... kind of how I see Marvus lmfao (although not a super literal parallel obviously; I don't think Marvus works for anyone beside himself). I'm at work so this post is pretty rushed, but hopefully you can get my jist.

So here's the thing that has always stuck out to me: Marvus and the music industry are kind of one in the same, you know? Made to get stuck in your head haha.

This puts him in a very powerful political position. It's noted in his friendsim that his music is "super woke and definitely not casteist at all." As MSPAR attended that concert with Zebruh, it's important to note that weirdo castists were on their mind. To me, this says that Marvus's music is so open for interpretation that people will always hear exactly what they want.

(I know the popular opinion is just that he's psychic pulling psychic fuckery, but honestly that's no fun for me. Marvus is very intelligent and conniving, and I'd prefer to deep dive into that.)

You know what Marvus has that most seadwellers don't? An audience, an opinion, and the means to make it all happen.

I think it's worth noting that when I say "politician" on Alternia, it's honestly more like an influencer? Cridea, for instance, strikes me as someone with a political agenda and political pull (and I don't think it's a coincidence at all that they're linked in act 2). They are, after all, young adults at best (I see Marvus as 19 on Alternia).

Do I think Marvus went into the inustry with politics on his mind? No, not at all. He was- in my headcanon- just a sixteen year old kid with no delusions of grandeur at all. He simply was that good.

The only problem is that he doesn't really hve anyone he's working for. He's religious (canonically, and imo to an extent), so it's very possible all of his power plays and messages have a subtle religious tie-in. Mostly, though, I think he's in it for himself. Mirthful Idolotry: he's an idol. This isn't sustainable in the long run, though, so I always wonder about what might cause his downfall in the future.

I think he's intelligent enough to come up with clever word play, and frankly there's the caste element as well.

Anyway. Because politics are involved, I'd be shocked if off-world trolls (trolls who are like Tirona for instance) aren't involved in the effort.

So do I think his music is good? No.

I think it is evil :o)

Anyway, random headcanon: I think music on Alternia has a slight buzzng sound to it that only trolls can pick up the subtlties of. For humans, it sounds like that cicada buzz sounds of flourscent lighting.

Hope that was anything haha.

[coolspacequips]

Have been mostly on Twitter the last couple days bc that's where I can see the most Kaveh birthday art LMAO but I've been coming over here and collecting what I can find on my likes, I'm gonna queue up a bunch of bday art of my princess so don't say I didn't warn ya

[cacw]

wow so cute. NOT! who the hell do you think you are

[magentagalaxies]

.

[sanguith]

i'm glad i decided to try out a ketosis diet again (aka changing my metabolism to basically only use ketone bodies made from fatty acids for energy by reducing carb intake to max 20g/day) for a few weeks because it was a neat experiment but i'm also glad I decided to stop because now i get to enjoy life's greatest fucking simplest yet finest delicacy: mashed potatoes/sweet potatoes with melted butter and salt. i cannot understand how i could live without that. just. vegetables. keto has opened my eyes to new ways to cook foods and experiment with ingredients but i don't think i can live without carbs. i doubt that the majority of people could. also have you any idea how much good simple near-zero effort food there is out there like holy gosh darn in heaven. i don't have to spend hours cooking something to have a nice meal

[theflyingfeeling]

still sick but alive, unfortunately 🤧

[silverselfshippingchaos]

good morning! i just put a.khos on the f/o list!