#Idk how you can look at all the harm our religion has caused

[transwrongs]

humans are humans are humans

i’ve been thinking a lot about the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason” and i think i’m comfortable saying that that’s true. i actually think it’s kinda insane how true it is. but explicitly not in any fucked up christian way. in fact these thoughts come about specifically because of my former hatred of the phrase bc of its religious connotations. i hated it bc it was used to *justify horrid behaviours/events, or justify inaction in response to said behaviours/events. it was used as an excuse for christians to avoid difficult conversations about reality, to push anti-intellectualism.

the thing is, everything does happen for a reason. simply cause and effect. religion warped this to mean “everything happens for [Gods] reason (and therefore technically nothing bad can ever happen)”. but reality tells us that, no, reason is neutral. neither good nor bad. if you push someone and they fall over and got hurt, they got hurt for a reason. everything literally does happen for a reason, or else nothing would happen. but i wanted to push this further. bc it started to sound like… really profound when i started to actually apply it.

(i might just be describing me discovering critical thinking and empathy right now, i’m not totally sure <3)

so, i’ve been thinking about how jarring certain things feel to me, like an opinion/worldview someone has or some cultural phenomena that just doesn’t make sense to me,,, and this kinda helped me feel less, idk, lost? because i think of myself, and all humans, as inherently and naturally creatures of reason so when i see or hear people doing things that seem to go against that worldview it’s hard to reconcile ya know? hejanfhsjakd

thinking about why people think the way they do, vote the way they do, watch what they watch, make what they make, etc. it all happens for a reason. nothing happens in a vacuum. and because humans, IMO, are naturally “logical”, if you step back and look from a truly objective standpoint, you can see the “logic”. i think seeing that reason is the first step to bringing people away from the harmful patterns. because sure everything happens for a reason, cancer happens for a reason, disease happens (spreads…) for a reason, natural disasters happen for a reason, death happens for a reason.

but they don’t HAVE to happen. or we don’t HAVE to let them destroy us. another amazing human trait is our resilience and our adaptability. abilities that WE fundamentally have. everything happens for a reason and that means we have ways of preparing, predicting, and planning accordingly.

PS: more lighthearted, WRT to pop culture. pop culture is popular for a reason. they may not all be great reasons but to deny this fact by sticking your head in the sand and going “booo popular thing dumb” you’re really…. you’re really missing out on life… take it from a fellow hater/contrarian, you gotta let it go a bit and at least acknowledge that even the dumbest thing in the world that you fucking hate the most is liked by somebody because…. reasons!

[oifaaa]

catholic jason but only so i can project all my catholic guilt onto him

Problem with that is that Jason has never felt guilty about a single thing in his entire life

[a-freaking-diary]

25 sep 2021

Sexual fluidity, conditional relationships and gender identity

Just gonna put this for myself

Genetic research doesn't have a very strong support that sexual orientation is present when the child is born. When a child is born it's neither straight, gay or lesbian. Majority love the touch of human WHEN done with consent (which is another broad topic). Everyone is pan or bi but they are on a spectrum and that sexual preference is created in early stages of a person and also based on hormones as well and many other things and further research needs to be done.

Also there was this psychologystudy done in which brain activation was observed between same gender and opposite gender romantic partners and the conclusion was that, the same brain parts were activated as for the opposite genders so this shows that these people love each other and aren't lieing or anything else.

But then soemone would say this is against nature waghera waghers which is complete bullshit. I dont really know the evolutionary explanation for sex but I think it goes like human are genetically coded to spread their seed everywhere because survival is innate in us. This idea that birth is a must. This idea that sex is pleasurable because it is genetically coded in us to give birth and spread or dna. I mean so what if it is. Genes aren't brain, they dont think, soem express themselves soem dotn. Sex is pleasurable. Not alot of People want to have sex because they want to have children but because it is pleasurable. And also sex is alot more than penis and vagina coercion. That's a very limited view of what sex is. That's why contraceptives exist. Some people find sex pleasurable with people of same gender or opposite wavhera waghera. I mean people are freaking stupid. Also they aren't hurting anyone, they are living their lives with someone just like opposite gender cpuples and aren't causing any harm. They are just literally existing like anyone else and just simply living their lives. Being straight is a social conditioning. Idk the Islamic viewpoint of it is and I don't care. I am not a Muslim and it doesn't concern me. However, I do know that Islam is a not a monolith, it has its own multiple interpretations and ideas which is evident by the multiple groups present within the community; the main one being Shia and sunni. Thus I know and have met people that are Muslims and lesbians or gays with their own interpretation of the texts and hadith. Soo that is sowmthing as well. But the religion argument does not apply to me because I am not a Muslim and any argument created based on religion doesn't hold any value to me. Sorry not sorry ig

Heteronormativity is just a social construct created (for ig survival but we are no longer in that position anymore, we actually have overpopulation and which is the cause of poverty and stuff) and practiced for so many years by the strict Christianity values which through colonialism effected southasian (pk) countries as well. As they brought in conservative ass victorian rules here.

No society is perfect. Cultures and societies are forevermore evolving. The norms change. All the good and bad norms which in itself are subjective.

Sexuality is fluid. It changes alot more for females than guys interestingly enough. If Bring honest everyone is bi or pan. All of us are on a spectrum.

I would say ke labeling ki waja se apne ap ko insaan poore tareeke se explore nahi kar sakta. Apna human experience limit karne ki koshish kiyo kar rahe ho. Labels ko chodo aur bas logo ko deko or try maro. Ha wo alag bat hai ke becareful kiyo ke yaha par log samaj te nahi hai. Jo be karna hai wo ik mehfooz jaga aur insaan ke sath karo. Don't be in a hurry. Experience ko poora absorb karo aur analyse karo insaan aur setting ko.

Aur ooper se colonialist ke lafz istemal kar ke yaha par log cheezo ko aur be demonise karte hai e.g gay ya orgy. Ajeeb log ajeeb duniya.

Seeing homosexuality as a demonising thing is just soo stupid. Ut's just really messed up the sort of perception people here specifically have towards sex. It's such a sex negative society and yet everything is about sex. If a girl wears jeans to uni, it's about sex, if two opposite genders are talking it's about sex etc etc. It makes the people in convo also weird and awkward. There are such high rates of rape and etc etc and yet there is no talk about it. Our mind as people of this society need to to desensitise ourselves with these concepts about sexuality, sex, penis, vagina, mastirbation, casual sex, consent, sexual needs and waghera waghera. So much shame is attached to it. And this concept of khandan ki izat ghar ki ladki ke sath hai is so fucked up.

Marital rape is so mornalixaed that people dont report it to police bcuz its not rape its just between the man and the woman. Fucking jahaliat.

Also gender is performative. It doesn't exist actually and it is forever evolving. Don't mix private part (sex, chromosomes) with gender expression.

If you go by that logic na they, she, he pronouns fotn really matter. Like people call you by a specific pronoun based on how you look not what you have in your pants.

I mean people can call me whatever they want. By any pronoun. It doesn't matter to me because gender expressions are different in many places around the world and is mostly for people who speak English and for people living in English speaking countries.

It depends on you what criterias you have set for yourself in terms of what makes you a woman.

Clothes, speaking, behaviour; all of these thigns are performative which evolve with time. What make syou a full woman depends on the criteria you have set for what being a complete woman is. If it is sex organ as well ok then go ahead. But you will never be able to change your chromosomes. Gender is a performance amd nothing else (it does serve a societal structure which in alot of societies around the world is heteronirmative and patriaechal (which initself has alot of problems). The provate parts and sex organs are seperate from gender but people in alot of society and mostly in western nation and ig post colonial societies e.g here assume that they are bio-essential and it is NOT.

Khawaja sira as far as I have learned is more inclusive, it doesn't take wheather your intersex or waghera (I am not sure I will do my reader h a bit more later).

These ambiguous and queer people have existed for more than 4000 years. And such groups have existed in different societies around the world for millennium in a similar version.

These words such as queer and transgender whghera have been coined only in last century whilst they were already given names in different societies multitude years before. Waghera waghera.

Written info sourced from muhammad moiz orf ms pudina chutney orf achi insaan

[faresramettas]

160219: skam italia x gay center event (part 1)

it’s going to be really hard for me to recap everything that happened yesterday, so i’m going to split this in two parts: one dedicated to the conference and one to the moment when we actually met them and took pictures etc. i’m sure all the things i’m going to report were already said yesterday in tweets and stuff but i wanted to have a place to write them all down cause my memory is so bad. warning: this got long.

the conference 

first of all, kudos to the gay center’s staff. so many people came they couldn’t fit them all in the conference room, so they decided to have a second shorter session so that no one would go home disappointed. they also said that afterwards we’d be able to take selfies and meet pietro, rocco and federico

spoiler alert: pietro, rocco and federico are literal angels. so sweet, funny, honest, humble, intelligent and well-spoken. ludovico bessegato is confident, smart and a savage. he dragged the whole fandom and yet we still love him cause he’s a genius

as soon as ludovico stepped on stage he made it clear that this was not an event about skam only and to please respect that. he said that they wouldn’t talk about season 3 and not to ask about it, and that’s why no info came out

the conference started with a presentation of the gay center. their representative introduced the work they do with the gay help line and talked about really heartbreaking cases of lgbt youth (12 and 14 year olds) who called to report violence from their own families. it was really hard to hear. they showed statistics of discrimination in italy and other data. their point was that skam s2 shows a positive reality where martino is able to come out to his friends and live his truth and his love, but unfortunately we have to be aware that these terrible realities exist too, especially in this country

the skam section started with a question to ludovico about his choice to include the voice messages in the first scene of s2. we watched that scene. he said he knew he wanted to do it from the start but recording and adding the voice messages was the last thing they did, one week before the release of the first clip. he came to the gay center in rome and met the young people and recorded the messages with them (i’m sorry, i’m not sure this is accurate) and he was moved to tears. that’s when he realized how important what they were doing with this season was. he said it was important for him, before showing the easiness of two people who can be together without external hardships, to start the season with the voice messages, as a reminder that these realities also exist

the host asked what was the most important thing for him, what he felt more responsible showing, and ludovico said for him it was the reaction of a group of heterosexual friends to one of their friends coming out. without dramatizing it or simplifying it too much. so the coming out with gio was the hardest scene cause there was a lot of weight on it. giovanni also had to be worthy of the moment. i loved this part: he said for him it was fundamental that giovanni touched martino right after his coming out, because it shows that nothing has changed between them, that they can still have a physical friendship, because so many times this doesn’t happen, straight friends pull back from/become less physical with their gay friends. their friendship not only hasn’t changed but is made more precious now

ludovico researched stuff like the gay street and grindr by experimenting them himself. he went to the gay street in rome and had a mission to get hit on (and he was lmao) and who did he meet that night? ROCCO, who went to the audition the morning after! incredible, he said he didn’t know rocco’s sexual orientation or anything but because he had seen him at the gay street he knew he could help give his input to the series, and of course pietro was precious as well to help with the representation

we watched the coming out scene and it was federico’s turn for questions (you could hear he had a cold, bb), the host asked him about how he felt/prepared for it and he said he felt a lot of pressure but he basically let martino lead him, he trusted his character that he had worked so hard on day after day and he also leaned on ludovico tersigni and bessegato. he hopes as many people as possible can relate to that scene, see themselves in it and live it

federico said the series enlighted him and made him reflect on lgbt themes and problems. he was never one to use homophobic slurs to follow the logic of the “pack” but it’s a thing, when you’re 15 or 16 you think you have to conform to what your friends say and do even if it’s harmful but this is why we have to spread awareness (”bisogna evitare il grigiume dell’uniformità” - we have to avoid the greyness of uniformity, he’s such a poet)

special mention to federico’s beautiful sweater, apparently he bought it in oslo, that sweater made his shoulders look even broader and it’s my new religion 

we watched the milan uramaki/wedding proposal scene and BITCH I HAD NEVER REWATCHED THAT PART CAUSE IT HURTS i swear we were all holding our breaths. that’s when the host asked rocco about gay marriage and he said italy is very late but at least we have civil unions now and it’s been hard fought for. it’s important to talk about gay marriage not so much for younger gens but for older generations. discriminations are always present so you can’t relax even when you reach a goal, you have to fight for the next one

when asked how he pictures his wedding, rocco said marriage is very far in the future for him, but whoever it’s going to be with his wedding is going to be very normal (”everyone naked is not a bad idea tho”) and y’all already know this part, he said he’s a person who’s experimented a lot and he HATES LABELS, for himself and for others (so maybe don’t call him pan king, u know what i’m saying). he’s experimented a lot and tried to figure out what he likes and he likes a little bit of everything (ME PIACE NPO DE TUTTO. i was there. i was there when he said that. iconic) he understands the need for labels cause they can help you identify yourself and give a sense of belonging but there’s also the risk that they can be too limiting

we watched fili’s speech and fede blew a kiss to pietro??? my heart

EMMA STA A ROSICA’ - cit pietro turano (emma is jealous af)

at this point besse DRAGGED US TO HELL AND BACK he said the fandom gets mad at emma and when characters say things that are wrong but it’s hypocritical (cause it’s a realistic show, no?)

he dragged the tumblr sjw politically correctness of fandom and something about how we all say we accept and love everyone but then WE are the first who feel the need to put labels on people and people in boxes. he said IT’S COOL TO HAVE NOORA’S QUOTE IN YOUR BIOS BUT DO ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY STICK TO ITS MEANING? YOU’RE THE FIRST WHO AREN’T KIND smth like that i swear i was a bit stunned

he also really didn’t like how everyone spoiled scenes and clips, ruining the experience for everyone while also creating false expectations, cause we expect things to happen and get mad if they don’t (ngl as a person who hasn’t watched the og i was like yeah tell em). idk, basically at the end of the speech all i got is that he’s an emma apologist

pietro said so many amazing things, like that when we have that moment of awareness, when we realize we are victims of behavioral schemes, prejudices and stereotypes deeply rooted in society, that’s when we can change the world. idk he’s seriously such a well-spoken smart person and he’s only 22

he also said in a video i have posted here that positive lgbt representations in tv shows/films are SO important for young people cause they need to see that there’s a positive reality out there for them too, that gay characters aren’t only the psychos, the ones who kill themselves or suffer

host dragged ludo for not including a beyonce song in the gay season but he said we can expect satisfactions from fili in s3

fede took the gay test and ludo told him the answers to get the totally hetero results, but when ludo took the test his result was Not totally hetero

rocco knows he looks like edward cullen, actually it was his first girlfriend when he was like 14 and before twilight was a thing that told him that he looked like cedric diggory aka rob pattinson. when twilight happened it all went downhill. the vampire outfit in the halloween clip was Not Casual. actually they had a line when someone told nico he looked like edward but it didn’t make the cut

fede said the hardest scenes, not because he couldn’t get in character but because of the expectations and pressures were the ones with mamma rametta (<333) and the coming out with gio. but the scene he hated the most was the i wanna be yours scene cause he said he went cross-eyed (è venuta di merda - it came out like shit)

host asked who’s top and bottom and they all laughed about it don’t worry (although i know someone asked again in the second session? and they said they switch idk, whatever)

at the end there was not a lot of time for questions but as soon as the host asked if we had any i IMMEDIATELY shot my hand up cause i thought i would regret it if i didn’t ask. so i stood up and pietro came to give me the mic (<33333333) and I WAS SO NERVOUS but i thanked them for all their work and then i asked rocco how he felt representing a character that’s not only lgbt but suffers from a mi, that he did a WONDERFUL job doing it because he helped so many people who suffer from bpd/mi to identify with niccolò (i accidentally said multiple personality disorder instead of borderline and i am so embarrassed but i swear. i couldn’t. think. i apologized too) if he felt he had more responsibility and if he could talk about the milan scene. he said he did feel a double responsibility and an additional pressure because henrik holm already did a splendid job, but he dealt with it like any other role, worked on the character like any other and tried to do it justice. he didn’t treat it differently. the milan scene was hard cause it was the very last one they did but they also had so much fun. he told us about bessegato pranking him and making him yell TABBBBASCOOOOO when he was running around naked in milan

i feel like i should mention that in the second session rocco said federico is a really good kisser (”bacia da dio” literally means “kisses like a god”)

that’s all i have and sorry this was so long. the conference was truly incredible. but meeting them afterwards was even more so and that’ll be part 2

[augmentedampharos]

also last night I couldn’t sleep cause I was thinking about anti-semitism that I’ve experienced and had a realization about one of my experiences

I was in middle school (or early high school idr) and went to a friend’s birthday party. I didn’t know most of the people there.

Anyway people are just chatting and someone suddenly starts talking about “their weird Jewish neighbor” (honestly I don’t recall any of it I just kind of froze and panicked I don’t even know what was “weird” but they were making fun of one of our holidays).

Another friend (not the birthday girl) said, “hey, {augmentedampharos} is Jewish.”

And then everyone apologized and we talked about something else.

At the time, I was...grateful for that. In retrospect, what the fuck. That’s not what you do to stop that sort of thing. It put me on the spot. I felt humiliated even further. You don’t call attention to the person. You say something like, “stop making fun of Jews asshat” or more realistically, “it’s not okay to mock other people for their culture.” You don’t call out the person who is being made fun of. I know, we were middle schoolers, but somehow I only realized this now. I dunno. It all hurts sometimes. I was just so embarrassed and humiliated about my failure to stand up for myself and my religion.

In contrast, sophomore year of high school I had friends who defended me, and looking back now I should have valued them more than I did.

We had a “World History” course where every Friday we would bring in articles about what was going on in the world that piqued our interest to discuss. Not every article was discussed. I remember that week there had been an incident at an elementary school where some kids decided it was, “Punch a Jew Day”. Kids. Decided this. That’s horribly fucked up. I think I neglected to bring that article in because I found it upsetting.

Well, someone else in the class brought it in, and brought it up, saying how it was, “hilarious”. And to some degree, I get it. It’s so absurd sounding that you think it’s funny. I get it, I do. But the thing is, it’s not funny, and I think for most of you the reasons why are obvious, but I’ll enumerate some of them anyway. Where did these kids learn this? Where did these kids get these ideas? From their parents. What does that mean? Anti-semitism is alive and well (which is obvious in this day and age but as a naive child I wanted to believe it wasn’t). Teaching hate starts at a young age.

Anyway, I don’t really remember what I did at this time. The methods for participating in the discussion I think involved throwing a thing to the next person to speak. I don’t remember the order, but a Muslim friend of mine and a Mormon friend of mine both spoke, and immediately shut that shit down. They didn’t make the mistake my other friend did. They explained that it wasn’t funny, and that it was awful. And then the class moved on.

So uh, where was the teacher in all of that? I don’t know. I remember telling my parents I don’t know why she didn’t say anything. I think sometimes she didn’t pay attention during these discussions, but on the other hand that’s giving her a cop-out. She should have said something, and she should have been paying attention, or else what was the point of having these conversations in class. Why didn’t she say anything? I think I’ve forgiven her (much as I’ve forgiven everyone in these stories, even myself for not speaking up), but I will never forget. Almost every teacher that could have stood up for me and for Judaism did not. What’s the lesson there, teach?

As an aside, because of the way my Mormon friend stood up for me and the respect I had for him, I have always felt terrible about the way that Mormons are kind of “fair game” for mocking their religion. There’s even an entire play devoted to that. I feel really guilty making fun of Mormonism and so I don’t. But it seems to me like almost everyone thinks it’s okay to make fun of them. Maybe I’m missing something, but I dunno...I know how I feel when my religion is mocked, although there’s some additional cultural context and baggage there.

I might as well finish this post with the last major incident from high school. This was senior year, and unfortunately the things that happened at the beginning of the year impacted the rest of it.

I had a teacher for AP Calculus BC. I’d had him for AB. He was fairly well-liked, although I can say I was never that fond of him. He liked to tease people and overly praise those of us in the class who did really well (myself, my Mormon friend, and two others from my friend group). For those of us who were religious, I felt that his “teasing” really went after us. I don’t remember the kind of jokes he made to my Mormon friend, but frankly I felt that they were too much. I also felt the jokes made at me were too much.

The worst and final straw happened very early that year (mind you, with the entirety of having this teacher for junior year behind me as well). I observe Rosh Hashannah and Yom Kippur. Those are the MOST IMPORTANT HOLIDAYS in Judaism. I missed school for it. That’s what I do. It is important. It means a lot to me.

I came back from Yom Kippur, and this asshat of a shitbag teacher says to me, “did you have a good time fighting terrorists/palestinians in Israel while you were gone?” or something to that effect. Frankly, I was too horrified and upset to really remember what he said, or what I did. I think I said something like, “I wasn’t doing that”. No one stood up for me. Here’s the thing - no one stood up to this teacher. Ever. At least, as far as I know. It’s possible people talked to him privately, like I did, but...he was intimidating. And like all teachers in my high school, he was temperamental and could probably ruin your grade in the class if you pissed him off.

After talking to my parents, I made with him privately before school. There had been some incidents in Seattle that were clearly anti-semitic. I used those as a springboard to gently criticize his behavior. Criticize is way too strong a word here. I said something like, “hey, there’s been a lot of anti-semitism in Seattle lately {mentions incidents} so while I know you don’t mean any harm I’d appreciate if you didn’t make jokes like that anymore”. He agreed, and I left sweating bullets but hopeful.

He ignored me the rest of the year. He continued to praise other people, but even when I did as well or better, said nothing. True to his word, he didn’t make jokes about me or my religion anymore, which was good. But being ignored was in some ways just as bad.

And everyone loved this teacher, or at least pretended to love him. I really don’t fucking know why. I mean, I do, cause I liked him at first, but with any sort of critical eye he was awful. I didn’t really have anyone (except my parents) to talk to about it. And I knew the year after my brother would have him as a teacher, and I worried about that.

It really has stuck with me. Was it a case of “you have no sense of humor so I’ll just ignore you” or a case of, “fuck I could lose my job over this better just ignore here”? It doesn’t really matter to me what it was. The outcome was the same. This was the hardest to forgive, in some respects, but I think I have. 

Oh, and the real ringer, is that in my yearbook (which I still asked him to sign for some reason, idk) he wrote an apologize for not acknowledging my accomplishments. He knew was he was doing, enough to apologize for it. He knew that what he did was wrong. But an apology when you will never see me again is too late. I can’t take it seriously.

The experiences we have matter. One bad teacher, a good friend or two, they matter. Anti-semitism is alive and well. I am often afraid. And sometimes I remember these things, and I weep. Nothing will ever change the raw emotions I felt from having my identity mocked, especially from those in a position of power over me.

[proffwhombat]

1/26/17

Hey! sorry its been so long. a lot has happened! ill catch everyone up.

Two days ago: it was a normal day. until 21:00(9:00 pm) i got home from my dads house back to my moms. I go in and just talk with my mom for a while about thte future i want, i told her that i want to go into the sexual assult part of Criminal Justice so i can help those people. And she was. umm. idk. couldnt tell how she was taking it. but whatever XD. so my mom gets a call from a random number, she answered it. ‘Weird, she never does that.’ i thought to  myself. Her phone was rather loud so i could hear the voice on the robotic voice of a lady,  “there has been a threat to the school on social media. We have been informed that a student or students wanted to cause harm to our students, we have taken the liberty to make sure your children are safe and we will have extra police officers on campus to ensure your childs safety, thank you for listening.” my mom puts down the phone, “social media threat? do you know about this Elijah?” She looked up at me, “i honestly didnt even know there was a threat.” ‘That’s so weird.’ i thought. “well, im going to go to bed mom. goodnight.” and i went to my room.

The next morning i woke up in a rush to get out of the house as usual. Took a shower, skipped breakfast. went to school.

I get on the bus to see there is a small amount of kids on the school bus. Usualy it is rather full. But that day there was only 5 or 6 of us.

I get to school and i see no one. No one at all.

so i am going to skip the rest of the day until after lunch. (reason: nothing interesting happened. i just watched avatar the last airbender all day.)

so my 5th period after lunch is my japanese class. I had forgoten to go to tutoring to finish some assignments i missed. so i get into class and find out that oh, “we arnt going to do anything today because less then half of the students are here today. Elijah-san, (not racist she grew up and lived in japan since she was a new born. so she wants us to use all those japanese phrases and stuff.) You can do yo homewwok that you didnt come in to do” ‘Damn, karma got to me. i put it off and forgot and the one day i was supposed to have off i now have to do this.’ so my japanese teacher tells the other students to play the Nihongo (japanese for japanese) rock paper scissors. and if you win against your opponent you right down one stroke of the kanjji. whoever wirtes the most strokes wins.so essentialy  i did work for 5 to 8 minutes and then i joined in on the game. I was paired with a guy, and we were told to play with the kanji for bright. ‘umm, do you know this kanji?” i asked the guy next to me. he gave me a shake of the head. “hahaha thats hilarious.” we were both stuck. my teacher saw and paired me with a girl from the front. she was new to the class since the begining of the simester. Her name. i will change it to Noel. So i was sitting with noel and i had no idea how to talk to her. Noel was a pretty girl, one of a short stature, short curly hair, cute smile, adorable glasses. I got nervous. Yes im that kind of guy. so eventauly after a lot of akward eye contact i asked her if i was pronoucing it right. she said i was. after that we just started talking about pokemon. so afterwards i could get her number so we could continue talking. she accepted and we have been talking quite a bit since. its super cool.

so its the next day now. (the date is 1/26/17) im currently sitting in my 8th period (last period) and i walk in late cuz i had a screening. and i come in to see all the 40 some odd students just sitting still for once. i was confused. iwalked in and i saw a familiar figure, the figure of an old Asian lady. I have her as my sub. so i wlaked in on her praying. yes praying. She somehow got all 40 of us to sit still. while she prayed. Grant it, no one was actually praying, they were all laughing at the weird events that were playing out. (i go to a public school so religions kinda banned. but this lady is like “FUCKA U”. So she is praying for about 5 minutes or so and im allowed to sit down. so i am sitting down and she is calling role pronouncing all the names wrong. (she has a thick accent). After all that she turns to us and says, “ i donta care what you all dooo after you feenish your work. you could watch the porna if you want to!” i laughed sooooooooooo damn hard. the entire room laughed. so after a good 6 or 7 minutes of laughing she stopped talking and let us do our busy work. but not even a half a minute into it she looks at the group of kids talking and says “if you say “’ groupa work uone more time and i will call you a stupa!”’” i couldnt stop laughing. this lady has no filter whatsoever. she is insane and hilarious!

~Eli

[muneerahwrites]

Losing My Religion Conference

I hope there are videos of the talks from the Losing my Religion conference because it will definitely be more comprehensive actually listening to the speakers than my short ramblings here.

The conference promised to bring up issues such as Islamophobia and the global rise of the right and how Muslims are increasingly under pressure to maintain their creed. I expected the speakers to take inspiration from the Qur’an and seerah and give us lessons from it so that we can fortify ourselves and be more confident in the face of these challenges. Pleasantly surprised that each talk was not so basic (haha Im prob too basic) and really dealt with different issues with wisdom and nuance.

I’ll briefly just write about Sh Omar Suleiman’s talk (maybe with a mix of Prof Ramadan’s points) bc it was so wholesome and Idk why it was the talk that brought me to most reflection. He started with this hadith:

Ibn Umar reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The believer who mixes with the people and endures their harm has a greater reward than one who does not mix the people nor endures their harm.”

He was mainly talking about how our prophets, while spreading the message entrusted upon them, even while being mocked, ridiculed, called liars, magicians and madmen, they were still part of their nation. They still had a deep and true love for their people. Many times in the Qur’an and Hadith we see prophets addressing their people as “Qaumi”, “MY people”. He shared about the time during the battle of Uhud and how the prophet was being hit blow after blow, his helmet smashed into his face and his two front teeth being knocked out, he prayed : My Lord, forgive my people for they do not know. He encouraged us to take lesson from the ihsan (excellence) displayed by our prophets.

He made the point that the Quraysh called him many names but the prophet could never be “otherised” by his community because he loved his people, he was always serving them, being a part of the society in a beneficial way. Then, Sh Omar asked us all the question: do you stand with YOUR people or do you speak of yourself as how they (the media, some politicians, some divisive aspects of society) view you, as a separate religious community from the broader national or global community? When we continue to address ourselves as part of our people and our nation, we are guaranteeing everyone in our community love, understanding and a want to reform and represent our people. This also means that as Muslims, we are not only standing up and being vocal when the Muslim community is being challenged, but also always being the first to stand up against injustice and standing up with and for other vulnerable communities.

We, Muslims, should not allow anyone to otherise us by otherising them and react by isolating ourselves, being concerned about ourselves alone.

This made me think of Du Bois theory of “double consciousness” in “The Souls of Black Folk” when he said that racism on African Americans causes African Americans to "look at one's self through the eyes of others", denying them the ability "to attain self-conscious manhood" and "merge his double self into a better and truer self".

"It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his two-ness: an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two un-reconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder."  (p.9)

We can take this concept of double consciousness too if we want to discuss about Muslims today. Often times, we see ourselves as how other see us and act to emulate it (eg media keeps telling us that we are different, causing problems/inconveniences in society, Muslism react by trying to “fit in”, be apologetic for wanting a space to pray, to practice faith)

Prof Ramadan’s talk then kind of ties into this and gave us the solution that we should stop responding and start focusing on our mission. What is the Muslim Vision/Mission? “Before you can spread peace, you have to be at peace with yourself”, he rightly said. He reminded us of the hadith: "The best of people are those that bring most benefit to the rest of mankind." We should always act in the name of our Mission and stop acting in reaction.

He said SO much more but he ended with the reminder that we must be visible as a community, not because of our dress or skin colours. We are visible because we are ethical. It made me internalize the question: “How am I internalizing Islam and putting meaning and purpose in our world? How do we be more ethical, guided by the principles of the faith? Am I ethical in my consumption, foodwise, dresswise , am I ethical in my character, in treatment of other people etc?”

So much to think about and even more importantly, ACT on. 

[that-girl-you-were-warned-about]

All the questions!!!

1. How long have you had a Tumblr? Off and on for 4 years2. Describe your first kiss, who was it with, what was it like, where was it etc? At my high school’s winter dance. It was super cute. 3. What’s your biggest regret? I know we all say we don’t regret things but obviously it’s how we learn, from our mistakes. So what’s something from your past you wished you could have changed? Basically the whole summer after senior year. 5. Favorite Songs at the moment? Stella and all other songs by All Time Low5. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done? I had sex in a park during the day 6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you? Probably when I ate some bad food and threw up on the city bus. 7. Do you have any scars and if so, how did you get them? Yep. Scar on knee from 1st grade when I fell down, lot of self harm scars, one from my cat (it was my fault for not watching where I was going), one from when my best friend accidentally grabbed my arm8. Where would you like to be in 10 years? Part of me wants to be in a grave but part of me wants to be in a castle. So yeah. 9. What are your views on drugs and alcohol? People all have their reasons for doing drugs and alcohol. So long as you don’t endanger others, I don’t really care what you do. 10. What are your views on religion? Don’t have one, but I don’t have anything against people who follow a religion. 11. Have you ever thought about ending your own life? If so, why? Oh yeah. Every single day for years. Heartbreak and depression are the main reasons I have thought about it. 12. Write 5 facts people might not know about you.I get really attached to people, I will never have children because I will never be able to give them 100%, I really want to have a pet donkey and Shetland pony, I have a Japanese sleeping mat rather than a traditional bed (helps my back), and I want to learn about coding and hacking because I find ethical hacking to be super interesting. 13. last really important text you got? “I love you”14. Can you let go? Letting go of people is really hard. 15. Discuss your first love. Was meh, guy ending up being pretty shitty. I don’t talk about it but I don’t regret it. 16. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up. Explain why each song is on there. My iPod is dead. Send me this ask separately and I will answer once it is charged. 17. Name somewhere you’d like to move or visit. London19. What are your views on mainstream music? Not a big fan usually, but some is catchy18. Are you currently missing someone? Yeah19. At what age do you think people should have sex? Not before they start high school, but don’t think there is ever a time people should have it. 20. What are your highs and lows of this past year? Highs would be passing acting class, moving, and lows would be just about all of it. 21. What are your strongest beliefs? That there are good people in this world even if they are hard to find. 22. Who are you closest to in your family? Probably my mom, but we aren’t very close. 23. How important do you think education is? Extremely important. Education doesn’t have to be in a classroom, but learning is the key to making the world a better place. 24. What’s one of your favorite shows? Bones 25. How have you changed in the past 2 years? I self harm less and drink more. 26. Name 5 people who are famous who you find attractive. Andy Biersack, Ruby Rose, and idk who else. They are pretty much all attractive. 27. Name your favorite movie and what it’s about. V for Vendetta. Religion has taken over the government and a man is inspired by Guy Fawkes. Everyone should watch it. 28. Who is someone who fascinates you and why? Most politicians because I find it fascinating that they can care so little for the people they are supposed to represent. 29. What kind of person attracts you? Not afraid to laugh loud, loves music, supportive, doesn’t reject me because of my scars. 30. What’s a problem that you have recently had or are currently having? Anxiety over social interactions has gotten really really bad. 31. Name something that you miss. My cat Abby. 32. Share 5 goals you want completed in the next 30 days. Lose 5 pounds, not cut, not get drunk, read a book, run 4 days a week. 33. What’s been the highlight of your month and the lowest point? I can hardly remember the past 30 days… I guess the high is not failing any tests and the low would be my emotions. 34. What’s something that you’ve done in the past that you would never do again? Probably a sex thing or two. 35. What is you’re biggest insecurity & why? My height because I have been made fun of for it consistently since 4th grade. 36. What were the last 3 songs you listened to and what did they mean to you? “Wicked Ones” makes me happy, “these are the lies” basically how I feel most days, and “this is gospel” fun song and one of the kids I nanny adore the video of Brendon playing it on the piano. 37. Do you have a toy that’s really special to you and if so what is it, how did you get it etc? Not a toy, but my stuffed animal dog. My mom and I went to baby’s-r-us right before I first left for college because I was sad about leaving my cat and thought a big stuffed animal might help me. 38. Have you lost anyone close to you to death? No39. What is your purpose in life? Be there for people when they need it. 40. When was the last time you cried and what was it over? Yesterday because my computer isn’t working and my head hurt and I missed my best friend. 41. If you got to spend an entire day with your favourite celebrity what would you guys do? Go to the zoo42. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would you choose and why? Probably fall out boy cause they got a lot of good songs 43. What are 3 traits that you like about yourself and what are three that you dislike about yourself? Personality wise. Dislike: hard time letting things go, stubborn, tend to throw safety to the wind. Like: persistent, not ashamed of my mental health, and caring 44. Can you cook? If so what are your favorite dishes to make? I can cook basic stuff. Love this couscous with Tumerick and lemon. 45. What was the last decision you regretted making? Drinking 46. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”? Yeah47. Do you ever wish you were famous? Nope48. What’s the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to YOU? Or something that’s hurt you above anything else and why? It was said to me but they didn’t know it applied to me. A person said they think gay people should be put to death. 50. What mark would you want to leave on this world after you are gone? Just help people smile. 51. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery? No52. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on? Yeah53. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face? No 54. What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you? Kissed my scars when I was crying 55. What is one of your favorite memories? Stayed at a friend’s house all night and watched shows58. What’s the nicest present you’ve ever received? Globe from my grandma before she died 59. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yep60. Have you ever wanted to change anything about your life? If so, what? Yeah. Would love to have curable depression 61. What is something you feel like you are really good at? Nannying *idk why so many numbers are missing here*65. What’s one thing someone has done for you that was really small but made a huge impact? Got dragged to church with my family, was feeling mentally horrible so I went outside for a few minutes and a stranger asked if I was okay and said things will get better. 66. What do you do when you can’t sleep? Take meds until I do. 68. If you could change 3 things within your government, what would they be and why? I can’t even answer this cause there is so much wrong with our government 69. What’s your favourite holiday and why? Halloween cause I love all the costumes 70. What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? Even if it’s TINY like holding a door open for you, something that you remember even though they were a complete stranger. See #6571. Who’s your favorite cartoon character? Louise Belcher 72. What’s the first song that comes to your mind while reading this and why? These are the Lies cause it’s stuck in my head. 74. What would you like to be the first dance song at your wedding? Idk, guess I try not to think about it. 75. Have you ever been told you look like a famous person, if so, who? Nope76. What’s one thing you can not live without? Animals 77. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone? Idk. I do things for other people, but it just seems like what a friend should do. 78. Are you a girly girl? Sometimes 79. What color is your bed? Like the sheets…? Light purple right now80. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys? Dark 81. Are you currently frustrated with a boy? Little 82. Do you have a best friend? Yeah 82. What song makes you cry the most? Lucy 83. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen? Horrible Bosses was pretty funny 84. What’s something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do? Skydive without a person attached to me85. Has anything ever happened to you that you just can’t forgive? Most of the stuff my father has said 86. Ever been really drunk? No 😕87. Is there any type of rumor going around about you? Not that I know of 89. Have you ever felt ashamed about something? If so what was it & why? My height cause I was taller than all my classmates 90. Do you keep a journal? If so what mostly goes in it? Random thoughts, feelings, stories? Nope 
91. Do you like somebody? Yeah92. Craziest shit ever done? Same as #593. What’s the saddest story/one that’s touched you the most that you’ve ever heard on the news? Anything to do with dog fighting 94. If you were told you were going to have 3 daughters, what would you want to name them? Ophelia, Anastasia, Lucy 95. Do you have a middle name and if so, what is it? Rose96. Are you in a relationship? No97. Do you enjoy drama? Yeah98. Are you a virgin? No99. Are you short or tall? Tall100. Do you have siblings? If so, what are their names and how old are they? Claire age 17