#If you don't know they are the same as in Unsung war

[elevant39]

Narrative in ACZ

So this time I want to talk about the narrative in ACZ and why I personaly love it. So what I love about ACZ (and the reason why it´s my favourite in the main line series) is how it kinda works like a legend or a fairy tale. What I mean by this is that there is not a single "correct/canon" version of the game. This is possible because the gameplay isn´t actually taking place durring Belkan war. What we are playing is what Brett Thompson´s documentary thinks happened in it. The problem is that he doesn´t really have all the details. The closes he can get to them is Pixy, since he actually knew Cipher more personally and was with him the longest time, the only other people being Eagle Eye and PJ and.... yeah... But even then it´s been 10 years so most Aces will not remember everything. All that remains it´s their emotions and memories about Cipher and the effect that he had on them by shoting them down.

Even Pixy himself isn't really that reliable (It´s funny because he is also partly a narrator of the game with Thompson). Not only did he knew Cipher only up to Stage of Apocalypse, but Cipher literally changed his life by preventing him from launching V2 (and causing all the suffering that he later witnessed on the ground Zero). Cipher in a way saved Pixy, by stoping him from something he could never come back from. So I wouldn't be surprised if Pixy´s view of Cipher probably isn't completely objective. And this ties to Cipher and the Ace system. Cipher isn´t really a character. He is a perfect vessel for player, he is like a rorschach test. He is what ever we want him to be. And this is thanks to the Ace system and how it allows the player to roleplay Cipher how ever the player wants. Do you believe Cipher was a total merc?; Do you think that the Razgriz route is the one for you?; Or do you want a mercenary that becomes a knight but after Pixy´s betrail falls back to his merc ways?; Or maybe you like a knight that becomes merc and after a lot of retrospective after Pixy´s betrayal becomes a soldier? All of these and infinite more are possible. Which is why I kinda hate when some people in the fandom insist that there must be canon route. Because having one defined route would kinda kill all of this. Sure people might still talk about them, but why waste your time on all of these non-canon routes? When merc is totally canon because of AC5? Why try to analyse your story in your own route when the only that matters is the canon one? So why I am bringing this up? Becuase this (infinite interpretation) combine with complete erasure of who or what Cipher did is what makes ACZ acts almost like a legend of fairy tale. Because the only way Cipher can live on is throw the stories of others like Pixy and other Aces. But since it´s been so long nobody will ever trully know how it all went down. Simular thigs happens with fairy tales and legends like Cinderella, there isn´t one true story. In some versions the fairy godmother doesn´t even exist and she got her dresses from hazel nuts. In others there were 3 nights with balls that Cinderella went to. Sometimes she has help from all sotrs of animals others it´s just pigeons. Sometimes her step mother locks her up, other she is given the task to separate peace from ashes perfectly. But still there are some constants, because these constancs are what make it a tale of Cinderella. And same could be said about the Belkan war. Cipher and Pixy will always win in B7R. They will liberate Directus and destroy Excalibur. Pixy will always leave for AWWNB. PJ will always buy flowers for his girlfriends. And Cipher will always fight Pixy in the end. But everything else? We simply don´t know and more importantly can´t know. And that is what is so beautiful to me. Because then the interpretetion of the story and Cipher can be anything you personally believe. And the story doesn´t force you to one interpretation of it. But it encourages you to think about the story and why your version is the one that you like specifically. So yeah this is why I love this game so much and why it´s my favourite in the series. Thanks for reading.

[thousand-winters]

20 questions for fic authors

Thank you for tagging me, @candyskiez!!! I shall use this wisely (to procrastinate. And to ramble because I love rambling). Tagging @pascal-oswell @justmagicalgirl and @drbtinglecannon if you wanna do it, if not, that's okay!

1. How many fics do you have on ao3?

36, which would probably be insane to me a couple of years ago, but they're nothing compared to the amount of wips I have, enlisted or not (please, send help).

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

170,058! Nice

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly The Owl House.

I have a couple of fics for the Shadowhunter Chronicles, mostly The Last Hours (though I do have a Wicked Powers wip) but I haven't had the most pleasant experiences in the TSC fandom so that'll probably be it.

Oh! I do have 4-ish Mob Psycho 100 fics in the works and a Star Wars one.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

So, what was your name again? No surprises there, it's still lowkey insane to me how much attention that one got

Sentimental, grieving to survive: I think we all were longing for the family reunions after Thanks to Them, so I get it too

Operation 'Make Darius like me': If I had to pick something as my fic writing legacy, it would be Hunter causing Darius psychic damage by saying"meow-meow" in the most deadpan expression in the world

Long lost lies: I remember being sooo excited to write this one and then having a mental illness episode in the middle of it so overall it's funny it came out nice

An unsung melody, mine for safekeeping: I think this was like my third fic??? And it's just pure fluff so... really nice to have it here

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I cherish each comment dearly so I try to reply to them all within the week. Though I have been going Through It the past couple of months, so I've been falling behind on that :( I love them tho, I'm kinda sad when I don't get any

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Okay, it's either "Loyalty Binds you" or one of my puppet Dadrius reunions which is, in retrospective, incredibly funny because I wrote those 3 one after the other, no hurt/comfort to be found.

I would argue the puppet ones have some hopeful undertones tho, so perhaps "Loyalty Binds you", especially because there's no hopeful ending in sight unless the whim strikes me to write it. It exists. In my head.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I write SUCH cheesy endings, you have no idea, I'm generally not one to leave things in a sad note because I'm too soft for that. But if I have to pick, I woud say "So, what was your name again?" if only because the ending is happy like in most of my fics, but this one, because it's a reunion fic, has a ecstatic sort of quality, I would say.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have gotten a couple of weird comments, but not hate, no.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Girl, I can barely write people kissing, this is asking too much from me. In all seriousness, I mostly write found family, so no smut here.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Same as candyskiez said, I prefer to write AUs in the setting of other media. I think crossovers can be fun but most of them aren't my thing, ngl.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once as far as I know. When I went to ask the person to take it down, they deleted their whole profile so... win?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone asked me once for permission to translate a fic to Russian, I believe, but I'm not sure if they went through with it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, but Will and I should really get on with the one we have planned. To be fair, I have not replied our unhinged planning in a While™ so it's mostly on me. Oops.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don't think I have one. Half of the ships I like don't compel me to read fics about them and the other half feel to fresh to even begin to compete as all-time favorite.

If I had to pick tho, I'm going with Cecilos because they meant everything to me from like 14-17.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of them /j

Okay, kidding, I have been so exhausted lately in the writing department buuuut probably "Children of Dust and Ashes". I still love the concept and ideas I had for it but the one other person who cared about it is an ex-friend and as I mentioned before, TSC is a tricky fandom for me so I don't think I can cheerlead myself into finishing this one. I'm sorry to the like... 2 people who seemed interested.

16. What's your writing strengths?

You think I know myself that much? /j

Um. I'm gonna say characterization? I don't think it's perfect, but I do try to keep it consistent and it's something people have praised before so let's go with it.

17. What's your writing weaknesses?

In theory I know a shit ton of vocabulary. In practice, I feel like the language I use is too basic, which I blame a bit on the language barrier, and my descriptions too simple, which is a problem for me in Spanish as well, so that one is all me lmao.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I eat that shit up. Of course, I think it also depends on the context, keep it consistent! Like if a character canonically sprinkles their speech with words/sentences in their own language, one should absolutely strive to imitate that.

I think adding the translations at the end as a note works well.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In general in life? Lord of the Rings, especifically, about Gimli, he was my guy.

Actually posting online? I'm. Huh. I'd rather not say... I'm willing to say the second one was Voltron Legendary Defender, so you can imagine how bad the first one must have been.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

"Loving Echoes (In loving memory of Emperor Belos)" is one I was super fond of when I wrote it and I still think back to it when considering my best pieces. I just really liked writing the speech/monologue there.

[aralezinspace]

Writeblr Positivity Tag

was tagged by both @chromehoplite and @hangfiretales and haven't really had Brain to write so fingers crossed this helps get the juices flowing again xD Under a cut cuz I kinda went off with the answers xD

1. What motivates you to write?

Rereading my favorite stories, certain movies- I forget what Tolkien called it, but just the urge to create after seeing something beautiful that someone else has created. Also telling stories as a sort of release for the feelings/vibes/sentiments that I just don't have space to experience in my every day life.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

From one of Megan’s stories I’m starting to rework so it’s one cohesive thing and not a tumblr RP thread xD

The truth… Megan laced her fingers and leaned forward, resting her forearms on her thighs. Her hazel eyes stared without focus into the distance. How much of the truth to tell him, at least at this moment.

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Guardian Megan Samuels. Both she and her order were created for/in the Doctor Who universe, but I'm tweaking some of the concepts for a potential OW. Writing her adventures got me through a really horrible period of my life.

Megan is the embodiment of one of my favorite tropes, "character is done with x but x isn't done with them (because they're good at it)." She was plucked from her life and remolded into a warrior, yet despite being hundreds of years old and seeing untold horros (time war) she hasn't succumbed to cynicism.

She's kind and self sacrificing almost to the point of martyrdom, very protective of the ones she cares about, "you said pick my battles, I'm picking all of them", the hardened exterior of a warrior hiding the fragile, broken, vulnerable, and somehow still kind and optimistic person underneath.

Fuck I miss writing her. Might be time to dust off her old stories...

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

The semi stressful feeling when the ideas and plot are forming faster than your fingers can type- and when the flow stops, going back and tweaking the whole ass story or scene that just popped into existence like Athena did to Zeus xD just watching the story unfold before you, sometimes in ways you didn't think it would

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

How I write action, specifically fights. Pacing it and varying the language so it's engaging but also realistic within the world of the story, and also the thoughts and feelings of the characters while they're fighting.

Also how I can almost always find the right/specific words to describe the vaguest of vibes and feelings, so that the ephemeral mess in my head is understandable (prob cuz I had to do that a lot to get people in my life to understand how I was experiencing the world)

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

Both the commiseration about how writing is wonderful and awful at the same time, and seeing normally eloquent writers have incoherent unhinged conversations about their blorbos xD

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Sticky notes and a notebook. I have post-its in the back of my writing notebook with all my ideas/prompts so that if I want to write something but don't know what, I can pick one. also specifically those notebooks with folders in them, they're the unsung heros of writers who just accumulate scrap paper with notes and ideas and want to keep them with their writing notebook (aka me) xD

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

In the Doctor Who universe that Megan was originally created for, the Order of Guardians is formed of soldiers of different species from all over the universe, kind of like the Green Lantern corps but for Time Lords. Each Guardian is assigned a Time Lord to protect, how they go about that is their business (Megan is basically glued to the Doctor's hip, she gotta be xD), but their first loyalty is to Gallifrey. They are all enhanced to live as long as Time Lords but don't regenerate, they go through extensive training and schooling, are the elite fighting force of Gallifrey. Megan was the first human Guardian. I'm working on tweaking this whole concept for a potential OW, we'll see how it goes xD

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Write what you want to write, no matter what it is. Go to your sources of motivation, whatever makes you want to get lost in the magic of storytelling. and remember, it's okay to step away for a bit and come back to it in a few days or weeks or however long- give your brain the space to rest.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters.

Both Chrome and Ama who are already tagged (such amazing writers and so supportive of my multi chap that I've been working on for 3 ish years now) but also @griever-bit-my-finger @honeybeezgobzzzzz @7-wonders @just-french-me-up @just-some-random-blogger @roguelov @cuckoo-on-a-string @peachesofteal @undiscovered-horizon @just-some-random-blogger All of these folks have multiple works that I've read multiple times, and I enjoy them just as much every reread as I did the first time (No pressure to do the questions just my undying love)

[shadeops21]

hi, you’re pretty cool! and happy birthday :)

i just wanted your opinion, what’s the best ace combat game? also, which ones can i play with the ps3? i love jets and this franchise looks great

Hi Anon, appreciate the compliment and birthday message! Didn't catch this one until now.

"Best" has multiple categories, and I haven't played the full range (only most of them) so here's my breakdown:

Best gameplay - 7: Skies Unknown [PS4, X1, PC]. While it might not have anything new in terms of core mechanics, the handling of aircraft and their performance was good, and the implementation of the parts system allowed a little more flexibility and options when it came to aircraft and payload selection.

Best story - 5: Unsung War (Squadron Leader in some regions) [PS2]. Yeah, the writing can be corny at best and disingenuous at worst, and preachy at other points with the anti-war warfighter message, but fuck I still love it. Partly because it's probably one of the first narratives in a game that I actually got pulled into while playing it. Other 'story' games I was playing around that same time I didn't get heavily drawn into, or didn't actually have a deeper story to it (though Tony Hawk's Underground 2's story did make me laugh a lot at the time). 5 was the first game to make me cry (Chopper!) and even to this day I still find myself playing it from time to time, even if I know all the missions back to front and could feasibly speed-run it within a couple hours. One of my all time favourites to this day.

Best graphics - 6: Fires of Liberation [X360]. Hear me out. This game still looks amazing on the 360 (and on the X1 when played with reverse compatibility). I don't think 7 has the same level of smoke persistence and particle effects that 6 had, and it shows. The gameplay feature of multiple "operations" (essentially a mission has multiple objectives within a given mission, and you need to complete a certain number to progress further) allowed me to jet from hot zone to hot zone, and if one of those objectives was a air-to-air, seeing the furball of missile smoke trails and explosions grow as I flew in at Mach 1.2 was nothing short of breathtaking.

That's the first part of your question answered.

As for which one you can get for the PS3? Honestly, your only feasible option would be Ace Combat: Assault Horizon, and that's if you can find a disk copy as I'm pretty sure it's been pulled from all digital stores. But even then, it's an Ace Combat in name only.

Objectively, it's an okay game. As an Ace Combat fan? It's absolute garbage. I think it would've served better if it was called Call of Duty: Aces Above. The story and concept is much more at home as a CoD/BF type game than it ever was as an Ace Combat. If you've played COD4, just take that story and put the characters in fighter jets and you'll be good.

Well, it's not that identical, but fuck, it ticks the checklist of COD4 copies of that time period:

Generic white male military officer that holds high enough rank to have authority but low enough to still see direct action? Check: Colonel William Bishop, field commander of the US contingent of NATO's Task Force 108.

Conflict in some third-world country that has the US involved in interventionary/peacekeeping efforts? Check: US Forces as part of a NATO TF in Africa.

Tense relations between US forces and Russian forces? Russians are also deployed to Africa in the same AO, and while they are alligned with NATO's objectives in the region, it's made explicit that Russia is only there on their own terms.

Internal conflict in Russia results in war breaking out, and US is involved? Yep, ultranationalist forces launch a coup and try to seize control.

Globe trotting across the world in notable cities and locations? Let's see... missions taking place over Miami, Dubai, the Suez Canal, Moscow and Washington DC.

A WMD that is either nuclear or not-a-nuke-but-just-as-devestating? The "Trinity" is a large thermobaric weapon, essentially a scaled down MOAB that the Russians made into a cruise missile.

Russian antagonist with paper-thin justifications for doing what he's doing? Alexi 'Akula' Markov's rampage of revenge against NATO and the US is because his wife was killed in a NATO airstrike during the Bosnian War.

Gratuitous graphics and explosions involving military hardware that costs more than any one of us can ever imagine of seeing? One of the game's marketing taglines was 'make metal bleed'. Need I say more?

Honestly, if you're in a position to? Get a PS4 or X1 and then pick up Ace Combat 7, or get it for PC (and play it with an Xbox or PS controller).

Thanks for asking!

[franki-lew-yo]

I really hate 2d purists. No, not 2d animation. Not 2d animators.

2d purists.

The sad thing is it’s gotten to the point that I really cringe hearing any pro-2D sentiment at all. I hate the arguments I agree with because how often they're misused and weaponized by idiots.

Let me make my stance here clear - 2d is NOT appreciated and 3d is used for everything! The layman Karen-mom who doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body looks at stupidsmooth 3D Grubhub ads and assumes quality cause it “looks more real” (aka ‘rendered’). I know as much is true because I literally have a member of my family who told my sister and I that she thinks 3d is better (and also that she “tolerated THOSE movies for us kids”. Touching words. My sister was taking an animation course by the way). Combined that with the studios either using 2D for cheap stuff or finding good 2d animation too “costly”, I get it and I’m not even any animator. I'm just a worm an illustrator.

but holy HELL -

There’s a backlash from the artistic community that's it's own kind of insufferable and deserve to be addressed.

“(insert2Danimatedfilm) is better BECAUSE it's 2D!”

followed by: "Animation is a visual medium and the quality of the art affects how much the story means !!!!”  

Yes. Totally. Animation is a visual medium and the look and style is important. Sadly, people use this excuse to really obnoxious ends, insisting that design being pretty is '' everything ''. When you treat a movie more as a special effects demo I get why you talk about the artistry at hand; but I’m sorry, visuals are not the only thing important and it’s why I’m also getting sick of the sameElsafacesyndrome rants too! There’s this attitude that's reads as "but it LOOKS better fromaproductionimage/teasertrailerwhichapparentlyisindicativeof all themovieactuallyis so it MUST BE better".

-“3D should only be used to make things look realistic!”

I think I know the logic this criticism is made in response to, and that’s the Sony + Illumination films which look just as good in 2D as they do in three dimensions. I know it feels like people are twisting this medium to try and make it like a classic cartoon when by all means people can and would love a classic cartoon being a classic cartoon. That I get- From the unsung 2D animator’s perspective, that’s more than valid !

But it’s a huuuuuuge slap in the face to 3d in saying it should only be used for "realistic animation" because

1: It’s not like realistic animation could age badly or look uncanny in the next few years. It's almost like technology is constantly improving, which I guess 2d animation never did and it was always the same technique and quality as every film that came after it.

2: The industry does treat 3d as a magic-moneymaker for this reason. Just listen to these people call the 2019 LION KING “live action” as if they’re embarrassed to call it animation. It IS animation! It would be impressive if you acknowledged that what it is, but like the CATS, you basically are treating it as just a neato tool to better your live action and not it's own artform - which it is!

3: By this “three-deeonly gud when real liek in da toystories” non-logic I guess 2d should ONLY be for flowyflowy SPACE JAM cartoons and maybe some Disney*. Just that though. You can’t do anything more with 2d. It’s never supposed to be realistic I guess. Good thing Richard Williams only did 'toons' and just toons that’s why we need 3d in the world I guess.

Wait no - that’s stupid.

"I HAVE to see the “Land Before Time 14″ when it comes out! I mean it’s a 2D animated film!"

Lost in the aether that is Youtube comment chains removed from kid's videos is a stream of this very VERY stupid argument supporting the buying of the 14th LAND BEFORE TIME film because it’s supporting 2D. My sister and I can be found on that chain arguing against this stupidity. All you have is my word, but trust me: it really did happen.

I’m sorry but...no.

Unless you have a friend or a family member who worked on these movies there’s no reason to see this and ESPECIALLY no reason to insist it’s a win for the 2D community if you buy up this crap - and I'm not judging if you do like it, but come on! LAND BEFORE TIME 14 isn't where your money should go if you really like this medium.

What’s so infuriating about this argument is you can tell it’s made by nonanimators. Real animators will tell you to support their movies cause they want some respect for their artform which is why there’s such a push from the PRINCESS AND THE FROGcrowd that you SEE and LOVE every 2d thing out there, regardless of how good it is because any recognition for it is k i n d o f what they're after!

Kiddy sequel schlock isn’t even in the same ballpark as KLAUS or WOLFWALKERS; these films DID have very limited theatrical runs (Klaus so it could be nominated; Wolfwalkers in places where theaters opened up after Covid) and should have been supported because they were labors of love made by people who love animation.

As other people have already pointed out, one of the reasons for the lack of interest in 2000sera2D animation is that the only films released alongside critical+financial 3D hits were cheaper 2D films that either coincided with daytime tv shows or should have been just direct-to-video. It’s not to say art couldn’t come out of these flicks, but dayum if it wasn’t abused as much as the texture software that era's CG used... Point being, should the world ever go back to normal: If you hear about an out-of-town showing an acclaimed 2D animated film, make time to trek out and see THAT!

Don’t give your money to see yet another made-for-tv movie on the big screen because all that tells the studio is: “yeah 2d IS cheap and only good for cheap stuff let’s just keep it cheap. Only 3d is important 8D 8D 8D !!!"

“I don’t understand how it works. So it sucks.”

This text is from an ANIMATOR btw.

“I don’t understand how it works” and “it’s just some computer rendering” is the exact same wave of logic the people who prefer cgi use.

The plebian Karen I mentioned earlier? She understands the basics of 2D animation as much as you did from one of those cruddy flash classes you took in middle-school. She 'understands' the basics cuz she watched how it was made on the DVD features or maybe back on the WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY. To her, the illusion is broken and she’s not impressed by 'just some drawings on paper'. You, an animator, know the process is more complicated and is intrigued by knowing how it’s made - not bored or disinterested -

Neither you nor Aunt Karen have really good cg-animation software at your house and unless you ARE a 3D animator you probably DON’T know all the ins-and-outs of how these movies are modeled, rendered, and animated.

Aunt Karen is bedazzled by them cause she doesn’t know how it works and the technical aspect makes her brain hurt so it might as well be magic and she can feel like a cool kid sharing Minion-memes. Aunt Karen is the nonartistic type who just wants to feel safe. You're not. You want to feel challenged.

I get it: you’re pissed off cause you’re in a field no one, including Aunt Karen, appreciates; told to work in cg which it's an artform you didn’t devote your life to and told to learn it cause THIS style sells! 3D is everywhere and is starting to look like 'garbage' even if you don’t animate 3D models yourself you just KNOW, I guess. Besides, you know all there is to know about 2d!! You know all there is to possibly know about this artform and have to fight this 'war' against "r e a l" animation! And I mean even when 3d software is there to use, it's not like you can actually make anything worth while in it, especially not anything that transcends the medium. Right Worthikids?

TL;DR: This argument is basically just " BWAAAAH I’M NOT GONNA USE IT I HAVE STANDARDS (a chip on my shoulder cuz art should be what I deem it to be) "

“PRINCESS AND THE FROG is-”

There’s a reason I can’t say I truly like PRINCESS AND THE FROG even though it's not even a bad movie! Like, stop reading this and watch PATF if you haven't it's good. It's my 'FROZEN', in that; I see a lot of potential in it I just think it needs some serious rewriting and that bugs me. Always have felt that way, tbh.

I dislike this movie because the response from the animation community seems to be it was perfect and the Academy was just Pixar-crazy with UP ((ftr, the Academy IS Pixar’s bitch and I personally advocate a sequel be made to WAKING SLEEPING BEAUTY about Mike Eisner’s sabotage of the 2D department at Disney which is still in place now!- but that’s a story for another day)). I’m sorry but UP was just a better story. So was CORALINE. So was FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Honest to god it feels like poor PATF is brought up as just a talking point and never for it's own worth as a labor of love - which it was! I'd like to honestly know: had PRINCESS AND THE FROG come out now and been cg if it would have even half the defenders for it because now it doesn't "look" like how a Disney movie "should" look...

If you like PatF more than the currant Disney lineup because of it's culture, it's music, it's feminism, it's black representation? Awesome. Great. Those things should be appreciated and I never want that taken away from you. But if you seriously think PatF is better just for how it was animated and looks - I lowkey may hate you.

“ALL OF DISNEY’S LATEST MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN 2D! THEY ALL LOOK AWFUL IN 3D!! ALL OF THEM!”

TANGLED, FROZEN, and MOANA? Yeah. Sure. But um, e x c u s e y o u- WRECK IT RALPH sooooo doesn’t work in 2d! It could have used different between the various worlds but it’s about hopping through different video games. I’m also of the opinion that ZOOTOPIA and BIG HERO 6 are fine the way they are. Their 3d is awesome.

The latest fairy tale Disney films are really big on their place alongside the 2D canon esp in marketing. They keep trying to mimic 2D to varying results though I don't think it works as well as the movie's I'd previously mentioned. Me personally, I would love a mix of 3D and 2D technology, like if the backgrounds in FROZEN still got to be 3D but the characters were handdrawn and shaded ala KLAUS ((sweet sigh)). But even then are they truly unwatchable just based on how they're animated to you?

MOANA would have been incredible in 2D but for the record - I don't think it feels out of place in it's style. It reminds me more of a Pixar movie with the heart of a Disney classic which is it's own just as good.

“2D is the oldest form of animation and it’s being replaced.”

Actually, if we’re talking animation in film, stop motion is the earliest form of animation. The stop motion animated THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ACHMED and TALE OF THE FOX predate Disney’s SNOW WHITE. And yes: stop-motion IS still a form of animation even if it’s a serious of pictures taken of real life things and not drawings, so don’t you dare come at me with the "but that's not animated"/"Technically it’s LIVE ACTION" crap or I’ll envoke the spirit of Sandman to get you at night.

“Every animated film would look better in 2D! Even PIXAR would look better in 2D!”

Again, Stop Motion.

No, I mean it.

Lemme ask: Would ISLE OF DOGS or FANTASTIC MR. FOX carry any of the same effect if they were generic 90s toons? I know NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS wouldn’t. Christ, don’t even get me started on Svankmajer!

Sometimes the problem is that a movie is envisioned with a specific artform in mind. Pixar started out with toys and bugs for a reason and that’s cuz they were always gonna be a 3d studio and they needed to first overcome the placisity of the models. Over the years they’ve gotten really good at effects and blending unrealistic proportions with real textures (and also not so much- ONWARD and THE GOOD DINOSAUR really needed some different character designs and yeah, I do think would have looked better with a 2d artstyle, but not the ones they had in their films. THE GOOD DINOSAUR needed more realistic-speculative looking dinos and ONWARD needed a grittier HEAVY METAL/BLACK CAULDRON appeal to its designs.) My point being that the problems with these movies aren’t even inherently the animation as much as it is a problem of style. As someone who runs a group speculating different styles and designs for movies and tv shows I’m all for envisioning a 2D ZOOTOPIA or Bluth-inspired FNAF. That’s amazing!

But that’s also the talk of fan artists and nerds and not the professional artists working on visualizing their stories!!

Since I ate, slept, and breathed NIGHTMARE in my youth I’ll use it as an example: All the concept art ever done for TNBC was on paper and 2D was used in the final film. However, even when Tim Burton was thinking of making it just a tv special it was always going to be stop-motion. NIGHTMARE’s puppet cast do work very well in two dimensions, believe me, but the film was made as a love letter to Rankin/Bass and the art form of stop-motion. Skipping to another Henry Selick-helmed project (haha), JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH was also always envisioned as a multimedia film to give it a truly dream-like atmosphere. If you know anything about Henry Selick you’ll know he’s 1) a perfectionist, and 2) loves mixed media and different types of animation and puppetry at once. That’s why he was the perfect pick to direct TNBC at the time, why JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH and CORALINE are so beautiful and why MOONGIRL, his only fully 3d film, doesn’t have the same appeal.

As for what films I couldn’t imagine NOT being 3D? Probably; 9, Padak, Next Gen, Soul, Finding Nemo, the Toy Story films, Wreck-it-Ralph (as previously mentioned), Wall.E, Waltz with Bashir, Robots, Inside Out, Arthur Christmas, The Painting, Happy Feet, Shrek, Enter the Spiderverse, Megamind… just naming a few here.

“I want a traditionally animated film [and by that I mean a 90s-Disney/Don Bluth looking movie] of ‘x'-popular live action/stage thing!”

Okay I’m cheating a bit but it’s my blog and so I’m gonna stick this one in because it’s related.

When I see musings about wanting live-action or CGI shiz to be in 2d again a lot of the time this argument actually boils down to " I want this to look like a 90s Didney movie ". Or, if it’s about animals - " I want it to look like a Don Bluth film! "

Like...there ARE other styles of animation out there...you know that right?

Frack, Disney themselves tried different styles throughout the 90s it’s just that the peak of the Disney renaissance films (LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, THE LION KING) and the many imitators that followed tended to have the same look to them where only film/animation nerds kept watching into the era that was TARZAN, HERCULES, and ATLANTIS along with the kids. Aunt Karen wasn't singing Part of your World in the carride with you every day.

The Don Bluth argument is especially irritating because...what exact feeling do you WANT from a movie if it looked Bluthish? Each of the four ‘quintessential’ Bluth movies (NIMH, AMERICAN TAIL, LBT, and ALL DOGS) have such a different feel to them that’s complimented by that style; SECRET OF NIMH is a drama about wild animals trying to understand humans; LAND BEFORE TIME is even more squarely about an animal’s perspective as there’s literally no humans around; AMERICAN TAIL uses animals stowing away on the ship to tell a story about refugees; and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN.

What the frack are you even asking for with that because I think there’s a certain flavor to the Bluth-styled oeuvre as well as the 90s Disney catalogue that would clash too much stylistically with some films.

Also come on! Like some Bluthian-style 2d would really fix THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS or SCOOB!, bite me.

I think this fixation solely on these two hand drawn styles and nothing else is based on nostalgia goggles, refusing to step outside the norm and discover different films and feelings than Disney and Bluth, and just preference. Goin back to NIGHTMARE there will always be a special place in my heart for Henry Selick’s stop motion, but I couldn’t imagine CHICKEN RUN or ANOMALISA in it's unique style.

Also I’m tired of every time there’s a "lets make an animatic to ‘x’ musical theater song" it’s reliably just Disneyesque or realistic. WHY envision an animated version of the show at all if it doesn’t have A STYLE to it??!?! I’m sorry but 90s-Disney does NOT fit CABARET!

“3D is so CHEAP now! Why can’t they just do 2D again?”

I think - on the cusp of the 2020s and the Grubhub hatedom, there ARE changing times ahead for 3d and 2d. The general public are starting to get tired of the same looking 3d films and wanting some 2d back, but they don’t have the best resources or opinions on animation to know what it is they want. Meanwhile, the animation community + industry is trying to figure out what to do and you have a lot of turmoil between the monopoly that is the industry, the high standards of the artists, and the mixed wants of the animation fanbase deciding what art needs to be.

It’s a tough business. And in the spirit of that tough business - maybe DON’T act like the means of a film’s production is solely your control, that you know best, and know definitively what the artists should have done....cuz you don't. Sorry my fellow criticalfanomanalysist-folks we DON'T and in an age of standom where fans and critics think it's okay to hackle indie animation studios about not getting their pitched cartoon out fast enough - we need to reserve these discussions to our circles and not treat them as gospel.

3d animation and 2d animation have to share this world. Stop acting like they’re either interchangeable in terms of budget, means of production, or artistry or that one has to be superior to the other.

The industry already says one art form is better (spoiler: it’s always live-action), we don’t need anymore of this purist garbage. Just stick to what you like while trying new things on the side. Be critical while also being compassionate. And remember:

[saynventeen]

My Take on TROS ending

Relationship : Kylo Ren x Rey

Inspired by : pride and prejudice

Just a Small Fanfic :D

Plus MY FanArt included at the end.

----

The war ended between The First Order and The Resistance.

The Resistance have won, the programmed storm troopers were rewired and sent home to start their life and where the left off, some stayed and became loyal to the republic.

General Hux is to be tried for Genocide and will be sentence to death along with the top commanders of the order.

and

The Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, is dead.

-- AFTER EIGHT MONTHS --

Poe Dameron , the newly appointed general of the Resistance ask Rey to stay behind and guide the future of the Resistance. Rey hesitantly decline, Shaking Poe’s outstretched hand while muttering a silent “ sorry , boss “. Poe smirks at her remark, turns to leave towards the command bay, he fastened his pace when he saw C3PO coming his way.

she turns her eyes towards Finn and Rose, the couple happy to have survive the war together. Rey saw Rose’s hands caress her abdomen lovingly.

She steps forward towards the odd soon to be parents, Finn was already ready for her bear hug.

“ Rey, are you sure you can’t stay ? “

She breathed heavily, exhaling her last doubts within his protective shoulders.

Rose strokes her back, smiling sadly at her. They all wanted her to stay, Even Chewbacca was reluctant of letting her go this time.

“ I can’t stay Finn, I have to go back “

Finn shakes his head “ Peanut, there’s no one to go back to there, in Jakku. Just please , Stay. Stay with us, we’re family, aren’t we?  “ Finn squeezes her hand as she lets go of the hug. Rose nods her head, sending her a heart warming smile. ‘ she’s going to be a good mother ‘ Rey thought.

“ I’ll visit, I promise! “

Finn shakes his head, after their escape in Crait, Rey wasn’t the same. She became distant and closed. It wasn’t until two months before the great war when she confessed that she was conversing with Kylo Ren, She said he warned her about the first order’s up coming attack. That there was a dispute inside the order, the commands were divided, Him and Hux. Poe was skeptical but still took the warning to heart.

After her revelation, Finn saw her peanut change. She became determined and she smiled more often than not. He knew, this force between Her and Kylo Ren was bringing her life, a fact he wasn’t too comfortable with.  

two days after the first initial attack, Kylo Ren showed himself to the four of them. It was a secret Rey planned ahead. In truth, they didn’t sit well with the fact that former Supreme Leader is now forming strategies while helping Rey train her Jedi Powers. Kylo rarely speaks to them, but they acknowledge him, both Poe and him a little too hesitant and protective towards Rey and her forming camaraderie with the dark user.

Then suddenly the great war started.

the resistance were prepared thanks to their source, namely the former supreme leader.

The war lasted for a week, Both fleets were exhausted and losing armies by the minute.The Resistance was almost at the end of their limit when something unexpected shocked everyone, even Rey.

She was manning the low ground with the falcon too busy to noticed what was happening, but in seconds she felt him. Like a soft caress against her cheek, she knew the forced kissed her then.

They are losing the battle, she knew as she blew multiple tie fighter with the ships blaster.  Just then a myriad of feeling suddenly blew right pass her.  Her heart started to drop, her focus nowhere. it was like all the air sucked out of her in mere seconds and she wasn’t prepared. She clutched heart, then she felt it.

Looking up, she saw a black fighter heading towards the First order, She felt the force forcing everything up.

it was the last thing she remember.

what won the Resistance their unexpected victory was another suicide mission.

Finn was in the med bay , rushing towards every curtain opening it till he saw brown hair and green eyes. by the last row, suddenly he saw Chewie and Poe discussing outside the section, a resistance medical aid suddenly spur from inside the curtain.

“ Finn, Buddy , you’re okay! “ His greeting was halted when Finn suddenly latched his arms in a death grip “ Where’s Rey ? “

Chewie nods his head sideways, He turns towards the curtain, opening it with haste.

There he saw Rey in a sitting fatal position, her hair was a mess but it didn’t compare to the atmosphere that formed towards her.  She was silently sobbing, blood stains against her skin forgotten.

He knew she was mourning, mourning the unsung hero of the Resistance.  

“ Finn! FINN! “

He felt someone shake him awake, Rey gave him a confused look

“ Jannah’s already here, We’re leaving now “  

“   Oh ... “ He sounded dumbfounded for a second, he shakes his thought and gave Rey another bear hug, Rose joined in.

“  Come back, when you’re ready, okay? “ Rose told her before she joined Jannah towards the unloading dock.

She let her eyes soared towards the rebuilding resistance base before finally the door of the ship shut.

------

“ Are you sure about this? “ Jannah’s tone lined with skepticism, she looks  to Rey with her peripheral.

“  Yeah, never been “

Jannah heard her words full of confidence and hope, she haven’t heard it since before the war. When Rey told her she wanted to leave the Resistance to find her place, She told her she was nuts. She was the champion of the rebellion, a legend in the galaxy, that she is where she is already.  

“ No, I’m not where I should be, Jannah. I’m not a legend, Luke is. I’m not the champion, Kylo Ren is. I’m just a force user looking for her place in another story “

That was the first time she saw her as Rey again, She didn’t hesitate to help her.

Jannah saw Rey punched in some coordinates at her side , she never knew her eyes could grow twice as much as it already is

“ What the hell Rey!? That’s an uncharted system, Are you sure about this? “

She almost punched the stop buttoned when she saw her smile, a smile full of hope and belonging.

She sighed. “ Fine if its where you want me to drop you off , namely Nowhere , sure, whatever “ She threw her hands in the air. Over a minute after she smiled at Rey and punched the button for light speed.

----

Jannah in all her years, never knew such a beautiful place as this. Her hands softly grazes the tall weeds of grass, a smell of bliss and spring erupted her senses. A vast land of tall trees and mountain painted in the horizon.

at her side she saw Rey with her bag of belongings.

“ Thank you, Jannah “

If she could tell, Rey felt a little giddy and excited. Like she was reborn as she first landed her foot on the ground of this new found world.

She looked beautiful, Her face was without war but with hope.

“ I’ll be seeing you around, just beep me whenever you feel you need to get out of here, okay? “ She smiled at him. Unexpectedly, Rey jumped on her, pouring all her thank you’s with her hug. Jannah could feel a tear forming in her eyes, she was happy Rey mirrored her emotions too.

just then a rustle of grass caressed her ears. Birds singing in the sky as the two sun finally aroused from the horizon. A flash of Orange and yellow broke the nightfall, a fog bringing a slight chill where the dandelions sit made the flowers sway as if dancing to a love song.

Hey eyes landed on a soft shadow becoming pronounce as the streams of light landed on her ship, blinding her.

Another rustle of grass erupted her, she felt her grounding shake a bit, like a force forcing from the sea towards the land to help the mountain reach the heavens.

Rey,in all her glory rushed towards the now pronounced shadow. Her eyes glowed in awe. She felt the tears finally running down her cheeks. She clutched her heart, she felt it, the harmony encompassing the vast space where she stands is now becoming one. The feeling when the sea finally touched the shore and the mountain kissed the sky.

A wave of happiness rushed towards her as she saw Rey reaching the figure clad in robe met her halfway, hugging her desperately as if death is among them.

It was like a painting she once saw, or a play she once witness in Canto Bight, where the story of the beautiful princess and her love finally comes to an end.  

The two figure looks back at her, she saw Rey waving her hand at her, she returned the gesture. She felt the man’s force touched her, as if saying thank you for the trouble of bringing him his lost princess.

She smiled at them before climbing back towards her ship to go back to her home, where she would tell the story of a star-crossed love between two people who wasn’t supposed to be, a child of light and a child darkness, and how it united the galaxy and brought balance to the world they know.

The resistance were right, Kylo Ren is dead.

But Ben Solo is reborn.

Rey of Nowhere was right, She has no place in that story,

so now

she’s making her own.

- fin -

Just a little something inspired by the scene in P&P , forgot to add my mark on the side.

Please don't steal, reblog and love is welcome as always :)

[van-dyne]

Hey! I've never posted on tumblr before and don't really know how this works but I've been following you blog for ages and after I watched engame you were the first place I came to find some fucking solace and community. What is the point in Marvel without Tony Stark? Two part (?) rant coming next.

Black Widow. Always had mixed feelings about her in general (but will never hold her character accountable instead of the men who wrote her) but her death?? They fridged her!? When Thanos killed Gamora he killed the only person he ever loved (letting that abuse go *for the moment*). But Hawkeye had a whole family to love whereas Natasha bargained the whole world for Clint when she talked to Loki in the first Avengers (Regimes fall every day. I tend not to weep over that, I’m Russian). It is fucking treason that she wasn’t in the Marvel Ladies Lineup. Sorry, fuck it, (3/3) Even if we can get her back by returning the soul stone because sould for a soul, we as a society don’t get that moment in time back. “She’s not alone” was HER line in Infinity War!!!Fuck, I’m so sorry, I drank coffee to stay up for endgame and I’m wired. (4/4) If we switched Clint and Natasha then Black Widow would have been the obvious and only choice to return all the stones to their timelines because she is a spy. This is literally what she is made for. Then no Captain America grows old fuckery. Then when she returned the soul stone, they could have gotten Clint back and then triumphant returns!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Sorry it took me awhile!! BUT I FEEL YOU!!! what’s the point anymore, there isn’t one for me, I’m just numb and indifferent at this point, I’ll keep the love alive for Tony and Tony only. I just pray they never touch my Pepper and Morgan and ruin what we have left of their characters like they will always do, they took everything I love from us Iron fam, the least they could do is to leave them alone and respect the memories, Favreau is the only director I trust to do the iron fam right. All others are just gonna take advantage of how much emotion they can drive from the audience, so no thanks. 

And Re: Natatsha, I am forever upset that she’s not in the line up too, like she’s the one who enables this to happen, but she isn’t there, it’s a criminal offence I just so upset for her!!! And she died alone in a foreign icy cold planet!!! Only the Avengers know and remember her, and now one’s also dead, one fuck off to the past, and one’s off world, only Clint and Bruce on Earth know what happened, the world knows about Iron Man but not many know about Natasha Romanoff. She’s the unsung hero and we can’t forget her!!! Her purpose of that five years is to bring everyone’s back, compare to other Avengers, and forgive me for saying that, people who’s been lost to Thanos aren’t really that personally for Nat, the Avengers are her family and most of them are still here, but she’s the one who’s been trying the hardest to bring everyone back, because she wants to see them happy and reunite with their love ones, because she loves them. I’ve said it before, Tony and Natasha are like the father and mother of the Avengers, and it just hits me how fitting that is regarding their role and motivation in Endgame. Natasha is the mother who sacrifices herself to for her children happiness, and Tony is the father who sacrifices himself for the future of his children. 

This notion of ‘They deserve better’ hangs around their deaths and won’t be dismissed because they’re the most selfless heroes and we can’t help but feel, of everyone, they should have earned their happy endings. Like the whole movie, the way they write it, it’s set to kill Nat and Tony off, they quarantine them into a situation where there’s no other more suitable way but to sacrifice themselves, like sending her and Clint to Volmir to get the soul stone, of course Nat is gonna jump to sacrifice herself because of how much she loves Clint and wants the best for him, he is her family so there’s no doubt that she’s gonna give up her own life for him, that’s who Nat is, and she will always win the fight against Clint because she is more stubborn. And same for Tony’s death, of course no one would thought to use the stones and when Tony has the chance, he doesn’t even hesitate to use it and end it once and for all for everyone, that’s who he is, he really actually would do whatever it takes to protect the Earth, the universe, because the people he loves are living in it. The decisions they make in the movie are in-character, but I always want to ask why do the writers have to write them into position like that, why is the plot just revolves around the idea of using the stones to unsnap what Thanos has snapped, a redo of Infinity War that involves time travel, like it’s so basic, I honestly had expected more intricate and creative way to resolve this problem idk?? Going back to Volmir and sacrificing a soul for a soul again is honestly so I’ve seen that before, the performance is heartbreaking yes, but the creative decision is so disappointing. I truly believed they would surprise me in ways I’ve never thought of to solve this problem, but instead they surprise me by killing the one character who’s been paving way to retirement, ripping him off his well deserved happiness for a traumatic experience audience will not forget. what epic masterpiece right! 

[tsukkibito]

The Moon over the Turtle’s Back

Several shafts of firelight pierced the bamboo walls of my heavily decorated room. Alerted by urgent footsteps and restless flickering of torches carried by several men, my eyes flew open while keeping still as I could manage. I may not be allowed to participate in defending our kingdom but I can still listen to the sentries and gather what information I can from their hushed voices.

Then came fear. An unwanted feeling that I am extremely familiar with. Wars amongst tribes was the only constant occurrence as I was growing up that it instilled in me this fear I know too well.

After listening for a while, loud footsteps overwhelmed the violent current from the nearby river. The voice of my father giving my servants stern instructions somehow calms me down. Although I’ve never seen his face, I know his voice too well. Our conversations were always formal and professional, between a Datu and a binukot, strictly done with a partition separating us. That definite rule, a law that only my kin dared to implement, made me the most valuable treasure in the kingdom and among the tribes.

What I look like, only Mother knows. I was immediately hidden from everyone after I was born; even my father and my brothers hadn’t laid eyes on me even once. Other kingdoms give their priests special permissions to correspond with their living scribes but ours do not. Performing my predestined obligation granted my noble family the highest honor and prestige. Even the citizens are willing to fight on my command. It’s a pleasure, knowing the significance of my existence.

“Mother, last night. . .”

Mother lifted her head and her eyes confirmed that what I heard, Father’s urgent voice and the angry clash of metal against metal, was indeed real. The Sultan’s troops took advantage of the storm last night and many more lives were sacrificed to protect the kingdom.

“Kinnara, have you ever dreamt of watching the sea?” she asked, refocusing on her weaving. Her slender fingers expertly tackled the stubborn threads. Loneliness seemed to grip her voice and I understand because we share the same fate. She too was a Binukot but Father granted her the warmth of the sun and the freedom to see the world until sixteen years ago when she had to stay with me and raise me by herself. I wonder if she ever regretted giving birth me.

“Mother, I am contented with this life I know. I do not wish to be anyone I am not and I do not want anything that is not meant for me.”

If she’s testing me, I’m confident that I passed. I wish my answer makes her happy. Happy, contented, loneliness; I knew all these words but really, I’m not too sure I understood what they actually meant. And although I knew what curiosity is supposed to be like, I am not interested. Knowing nothing about the normal world except from my mother’s stories is not a problem a problem in my standpoint. Weaving and doing my duty as a living scribe by memorizing epics and songs certainly would not be a burden to me.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

“Banog,” I call one of my servants, my eldest brother, who was standing guard outside my room. “Summon the Datu.”

Without a word, Banog leaves and Bukaw took over his post. I watched their shadows move and disappear. Mother silently continued her weaving and maybe, her prayers, because I am praying too. Desperately. We’re in the middle of a crisis after all.

After a while, Banog returned to inform me that Father was currently negotiating with the hostile tribe. There was a hint of worry in his voice but his concerns to me were insignificant.

“Do you know that the sea is salty?” Mother asked me again. Something was definitely troubling her and it's affecting me in a way that is both disturbing and upsetting. I stared at her intently.

“Do you hate me, Mother?” I asked her those things but inside my chest was a tangled ball of white threads. “I do not appreciate you messing with my resolve.”

Hate. These words spilling from my mouth were ideas borrowed from those epic tales that I’d memorized. The realization that I might never had an emotion of my own relieved me.

She shook her head crying but I couldn't sympathize with her. I’ve never cried. I have nothing to cry about. Maybe those tears were the evidence of her hate because that emotion was believed to weigh heavily on the heart. She must have been suffering.

She embraced me and whispered to my ear the most terrifying fate that awaited me. My mind went blank and all I heard was the creaking of the bamboo floor and the murmurs of the nearby river. The boiled bananas I ate for snack almost escaped me.

“I am too late after all,” I whispered but it sounded more like a croak. I was aware of the possibility but I could never believe my father went ahead for the final resort. He severed the thread and sacrificed me.

He sold me. He betrayed me.

I heaved a sigh to rid myself of the unfamiliar dark-colored emotions entangling with the plain white threads that I believed was my heart. Then I smiled, carefully wiping away my mother’s tears with the hem of my skirt.

Fearing for my own is an act of selfishness. I was not raised so I could live for my sake. The Heavens blessed me with this beauty for the benefit of our kingdom. My only option was to save the lives of my people.

“I will submit to the Sultan. It is the right thing to do,” I declared. I shivered at the thought but decided that from now on, I must talk of the Sultan in the most respectable manner. My future depends on him and to adore my future husband is going to become my sole duty.

Mother violently shakes her head with her fingers digging on my shoulders and her eyes so wide with unsung pleas. It’s strange, as if she’s a different person. She was supposed to be the most sophisticated woman in the tribe but I don't see a trace of that right now. Only the eyes of a frightened woman unable to say the things she wanted to say, silenced by her own upbringing.

“You are the treasure of our tribe, Kinnara. I cannot allow that monster to taint and enslave you!”

“He’s going to wipe us out. A farming tribe cannot stand for too long against a tribe that breathes war.”

I am the objective all along, anyway. Father chose to keep the reason hidden but I eventually realized the truth. I am privileged with the abundance of time to think and ponder things over.

The Sultan's warriors killed our people and burned down their houses. Even the domesticated animals were not spared. There was no looting involved, only a clear message left for us to consider. The wars existed because the Sultan wants the most valuable Binukot among the kingdoms. Obtaining me meant their kingdom's illegibility to be granted the greatest political power in all of Kalupaan. The remaining kingdoms will surrender and kneel under one supreme ruler.

It spells the worst possible future for the kingdoms, but who am I to challenge the inevitable? 

“Mother, I am afraid too, but I will cast it aside. I will let you bear these fears for both of us.”

I hoped it was the end of my mother’s protests. I know she’s worried because of what I am but the Sultan recognizes that fact and still wants me. That gives me hope. 

*

Strange noises –

I realize I fell asleep. I found myself inside my largest palanquin and Mother was nowhere near. I called for her and I called Bukaw’s name. Only the cicadas replied.

I’m not naturally curious of what lies beyond the walls the confine me. Every time I am transported, peeking doesn’t even occur to me. People could be executed just by looking at me so I figured I’d also discipline myself by completely accepting my seclusion. It is only fair.

But the strangeness of those sounds prompted me to take a little look.

I gasped.

I see the moon! And it’s better than the one I saw during the harvest ritual. Is it a different one? A bigger, brighter and prettier moon? A mother moon, maybe?

I wish Mother could give me answers.

“Where am I?” I whispered. Normally, I would just sit and wait but my common sense tells me that there is no one around to do my bidding. I gingerly touch the wall of my palanquin and my hand immediately retracted. The sighs and shivers startling me so much that I ended up speechless.

The walls were breathing and shivering. Really shivering, like a living being that is soft and warm to the touch.

“Get out,” says a deep, rusty voice that conjured in my mind images of a no good vagrant, or maybe a drunkard. Right then the walls collapsed and rippled beneath me that I bolt upright, almost touching the earth with my bare feet.

“I can’t!” I shout, repulsed by the thought of losing my status to mere dirt.

“Get out or I’ll kick you, brat!” the voice rumbled and the wood beneath my feet rippled again, more violently this time, and tossed me out off its wooden floor. While I struggled to get up, the palanquin reassembles itself, but not before slamming on my back and knocking me off-balance. It ran off toward the dark forest, laughing madly.

I stared at the darkness for a long time. It dawned on me that my worth just disintegrated along with my status and my whole life has been such a pitiful waste. Just because I stepped on the ground with my own two feet.

And I am all alone. I’m on the ground, barefooted, and for some reason; my palanquin is alive and shamelessly kicked me out. If I’m not dreaming then maybe the gods or the jealous diwatas are playing a trick on me. No wonder none of them answered my prayers.

They were jealous of the beauty that drove kingdoms into years of violent wars, I thought, feeling dark threads wrapped tightly around my throat.

Almost cursing out loud, I paused upon remembering the beautiful moon. I looked up once again, appreciating the fact that no trees obscured my view. The strange sounds came from the direction of the moon, so maybe mortals can hear the moon when it’s that close and big. I took one careful step, and then another, wincing as tiny sharp rocks cut the soles of my soft feet. 

“I can never be who I was,” occupied my mind as I struggled forward. Walking is awfully exhausting, especially since the path was sloping and the rocks were getting sharper. I stopped to tie my hair on my back and then gathered up my flowy garb to avoid tripping on them accidentally.

The moon kept on getting farther away whenever I believed that I’m getting really close. I ran uphill where a single boulder carved it's silhouette right in front of the moon. I might catch it if I go a little bit faster. 

“One can never run fast enough to catch the moon.” It’s a man’s voice. “Especially one as clumsy and slow as you.”

I panicked.

Someone, a person, saw me!

I cocked my head to the direction where the voice came from. I can’t believe I didn’t notice him. I thought he was a boulder from down the hill but now that I'm standing next to him, he’s a man with a huge stone bilao covering the entirety of his hunched back. His view was fixed on the faraway void so he looked kind of sleepy.

He took my breath away, just like how the moon did earlier.

“What are you?” I asked, breathless. I am not ignorant, I know that there are different kinds of people. But I haven’t heard of a person with a large stone stuck on his back. It looked bumpy, with flowering crystal spikes in the middle, but the edges were rounded, smooth and shiny.

“You’re a rude fellow,” the man points out, his voice sounded sleepy too. He didn’t even glance in my direction. Was he afraid of the consequences of looking at a binukot?

“I’m sorry,” I say because I really was. It might be an illness that I’m not aware of. I puffed my cheeks. Can't he see that I'm barefoot? Nothing will happen even if he stares at me because I am no longer pure.

But he was still fussing over the thin bamboo stick he’s holding, pulling it up and dropping the line again.

The cold wind blew and I shivered. The air smelled tangy but not unpleasant, like fish broth. “What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Fishing,” he answered, pointing at the vast rice field below our hill that expanded far beyond, reflecting the brightest moon I have ever seen.

“Fishing?! In a rice field?”

He laughed, his eyes closed and wrinkled at the sides. I found myself smiling too, because he made it seem so easy.

Beneath us, the strange booming sounded clearer than when I heard it from afar. What I believed to be a rice field was in fact something else,  mirroring the light of the moon like the inside of a clamshell.

“So it’s the first time you’ve seen the sea?”

I nodded but realizing that he isn’t paying attention, I said, “Yes.”

 “No wonder he's dancing more beautifully than usual.”

“It was the sea calling out to me.” I breathe. It was the strange noise, her song, that beckoned me to her.

“Sometimes, the sea wants an audience, especially when the moon dances on her surface. Then, a wish is born.”

I listened to his bizarre stories. My throat itched because of the cold and his sleepy voice made me drowsy but the tales he told me were so fun and mesmerizing. The people in it and the places he described were unlike the images I saw in the epic chants that I memorized.

Strong winds blew right past us that I worried I might topple over and plunge to my death but the man seemed unaffected by the elements and continued talking in his own pace. He would occasionally pull his fishing line and then throw it back downagain.

He’s a peculiar man, although I don’t know the extent of his peculiarity because I didn’t have anybody to compare him with. Unlike my mother, he talks like everything around us is alive and familiar. 

In the end, he didn’t catch any fish. Instead, he easily hauled the largest clam I have ever seen, filled with shiny pearls of assorted sizes that looked like eggs of different birds. He tossed the largest one to me and I catched it with both hands.

“Thank you,” I told him. The pearl was surprisingly warm that I pressed it to my cold cheek. At last, he stood up, leaving the thin bamboo pole on the rough ground. He staggered and seemed surprised by it.

“Oops, it’s gotten heavier,” he says.

"What is?"

"My shell," he answered, slowly turning to show me his back and I waited patiently for him to face me again.

“What happens if it gets too heavy for you to carry?”

He stared at me for the first time and shrugged. His eyes were black and shining, like the surface of the calm sea.

“I will probably turn into a rock. Or maybe I will turn into nothing.”

Something stirred inside my chest, like a tug and the threads started moving and recoiling. It made me queasy.

“Why would you like that?” I asked him. It was late when I noticed the accusatory tone in my voice.

“I don’t like it. But I can’t help caring for people, so I can’t escape my fate. We are the same, bound to our curses.” He walked away, like an upright, lazy turtle. I remember I saw a turtle once.