#In that instance he was interrupted pretty quickly but the setup was there!! And it was extremely good!!!

[sysig]

Getting up to trouble is his speciality (Patreon)

[mediaevalmusereads]

When A Scot Ties the Knot. By Tessa Dare. New York: Avon Books, 2015.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Castles Ever After #3

Summary: On the cusp of her first London season, Miss Madeline Gracechurch was shyly pretty and talented with a drawing pencil, but hopelessly awkward with gentlemen. She was certain to be a dismal failure on the London marriage mart. So Maddie did what generations of shy, awkward young ladies have done: she invented a sweetheart. A Scottish sweetheart. One who was handsome and honorable and devoted to her, but conveniently never around. Maddie poured her heart into writing the imaginary Captain MacKenzie letter after letter … and by pretending to be devastated when he was (not really) killed in battle, she managed to avoid the pressures of London society entirely. Until years later, when this kilted Highland lover of her imaginings shows up in the flesh. The real Captain Logan MacKenzie arrives on her doorstep—handsome as anything, but not entirely honorable. He’s wounded, jaded, in possession of her letters… and ready to make good on every promise Maddie never expected to keep.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: graphic sexual content, blood, violence

Overview: I came across this book while doing research for a blog post on Scottish fetishization in romance. While writing the post, I encountered YouTuber Jean Bookishthoughts’s video “ An Actual Scot Reads Highlander Romances,” and she gave this novel a fairly positive review. So I decided “why not? I’ve got nothing better to do.” Overall, the premise of this book was really enticing - the idea of a woman writing letters to a fictional sweetheart only to have a flesh-and-blood man show up at her door is quite the setup. I also think Dare does a good job of writing humor and moving the narrative along. But I ultimately couldn’t give this book more than 3 stars for a number of reasons: for one, the main crux of the plot felt like it could have been a bit more robust. Two, I didn’t find Logan to be a very interesting character. And three, some of the random “Highlander” references felt cheesy.

Writing: Dare writes prose that is quick, witty, and humorous. I very much enjoyed the jokes and the banter between our protagonists, and I appreciated that Dare didn’t get bogged down in some of the details of day-to-day life. If I had any criticisms, it would be that I think Dare moves almost too quickly at times. Some of the more emotional moments could have used some room to breathe or some more description of how the characters’ emotions are faring. But it wasn’t so bad that I felt like I was being rushed through the novel. Another way of putting is may be that sometimes Dare told where she could have shown, but the balance of telling vs showing didn’t feel egregiously off.

Plot: This plot mainly follows our heroine, Maddie, and our hero, Logan, as they try to work out an agreement. Maddie, in the attempt to avoid going on the marriage mart, invented a sweetheart at age 16 and wrote letters to a “fictional” Scottish captain in the army for years. Unbeknownst to her, the letters were actually being received by Logan, and when he and his men come home from the war, Logan is determined to marry Maddie in order to get her land in Invernesshire.

Personally, I found this setup to be quite intriguing and whimsical. I liked the embarrassment that arose from Maddie’s letters actually being received and read. I liked that Logan secretly looked forward to the letters from a stranger. I even liked the dilemma of negotiating a marriage of convenience. But I think where this plot fell apart for me was the whole challenge of consummating the marriage. Logan and Maddie agree to marry and live separate lives (it’s early on, so this isn’t really a spoiler), but Logan is adamant about consummating the marriage so that there’s no possibility of an annulment. Maddie, for her part, wants to avoid consummating the marriage because she finds that marriage will threaten her career prospects; as an illustrator, she finds that men will not hire her for work if they think household or parenting duties will interrupt her work schedule. To be completely honest, this challenge was quite good; I thought there was a real opportunity here for Dare to explore the sexist challenges women face in the workplace. Where I thought the challenge was weak was in the whole obsession with consummation. Unless there was such hostility between the Scottish and the English that an Englishwoman’s word would always be taken over a Scotsman’s, I found the question of “did they actually have sex or not” to be quite trivial. From what I know, annulments were notoriously difficult to obtain, so it wouldn’t matter much if Maddie and Logan had consummated the marriage. It seems like Logan could just say they did and an annulment would be near impossible. Nor do I think the law would care much if they only had non-penetrative sex. It seems like the whole plot hinging on whether or not they had “real sex” was a non-issue for me.

Instead, I would have liked to see more conflict in Maddie between balancing her desires for romance and a family with her career aspirations. Once Logan enters the picture, it seems like her career takes a backseat (except for a couple of scenes), and I would have rather seen it be more front and center. Either that or I think Maddie’s story could have mirrored her aunt’s more closely. Maddie’s Aunt Thea was long ago caught up in a scandal that ruined her, but later, Thea reveals that she had enjoyed the freedom. I think having Maddie be independent and struggle with the idea of being “tied down” by marriage could have also been good, and while there’s a little of that, I think it could have been more apparent to the reader.

In terms of small-scale narrative points, I think a lot of the scenes Dare writes are very funny and entertaining. I liked, for instance, the scene where Maddie falls into a bog, or when Maddie shows kindness to Logan’s friend, Grant. The scenes that truly did bother me, however, were some of the more “fluffy” ones that were a bit too cheesy for my tastes. For example, there’s a scene in which Maddie finds Logan reading Pride and Prejudice and he’s wearing spectacles. She makes a big deal about him being a reader and I had to roll my eyes. There’s also a scene towards the end in which Maddie attempts to make haggis, and I hated it because it felt like it was inserted so Dare could check off a “Scottishism” in a list. Tartan? Check. Brogue? Check. Haggis? Check. The scene also erupted in random violence, too, which felt out-of-place and inserted for pointless drama towards the end of the novel.

But I will admit, I did like the scenes that were very self-aware about what Dare was doing. For example, there’s a scene in which Logan is debating about what to do to get Maddie into bed. His friends give him suggestions like “offer your heart to her on a platter” or “throw in a lot of oochs and bonny lasses when you speak” or “dive into the loch and have her go looking for you. Then, when she’s found you, pretend you don’t notice her and have her watch you bathe for a while. Then emerge from the lock all dripping wet.” This self-awareness was a nice stab at romance cliches, though I wish Dare had done a better job herself at avoiding them.

Characters: Maddie, our heroine, is fairly likeable in that she’s bookish, generous, and a bit clumsy at times. I liked that there was a juxtaposition between her confidence and her social anxiety: while she wasn’t afraid to assert herself in some situations, big crowds made her nervous, and I think navigating those two scenarios made for some interesting characterization. The main thing I didn’t like about Maddie was how quickly she seemed to give up her career ambitions for Logan. There’s a point where she has to make a choice between letting Logan go and following her dreams, and she claims that she’s choosing Logan even though the choice is really made for her based on sexist norms of the day. I would have liked to see her wrestle with her ambitions a little more.

Logan, our hero, has some admirable qualities, but in the end, I found him rather uninteresting. He’s your basic roguish Scotsman with a tragic past, and though I liked the loyalty he showed to his men, I ultimately though he was a little too jealous and a little too used to his orders being obeyed. I would have liked to see him be a little less dictatorial so that his romantic appeal would shine through a bit more brightly.

Side characters are charming but, in my opinion, underutilized. I liked all of Logan’s army buddies and appreciated that all of them had disabilities in some way (and those disabilities were important but didn’t define them). I really appreciated Maddie’s relationship with Grant, the soldier whose memory resets every hour or so. She was kind to him and he was sweet to her; I just didn’t think his random violent outburst towards the end was necessary or in-character. Maddie’s Aunt Thea could have also been used more effectively, but I did like that Thea had this quirk of making a lot of cosmetics and remedies that were, ultimately, rubbish. It was charming.

Romance: Logan and Maddie’s romance was... ok. The premise started out really interesting, but over time, I lost some enthusiasm because I felt like I was being told that they had feelings for each other (rather than being shown). Sure, Logan does some things that challenge Maddie’s assumptions and vice versa, but I wanted them to have a stronger basis for a romance than just “they’re hot and I’m horny oh wait they were nice to me and aren’t exactly what I expected.” Part of the reason I wasn’t super enthused might also be the focus on sex and sexual attraction as well as Maddie feeling pity for Logan on account of his past. I prefer romances where the focus is on each person lifting the other up emotionally, and while there was a little of that, I think I would have liked to see it be more of a centerpiece within the plot.

TL;DR: When a Scot Ties the Knot is a funny, light, historical romance, but ultimately doesn’t have a “meaty” enough plot for my personal tastes. Some readers might enjoy the banter and the heroine’s determination, while others might be turned off by the cheesiness and lack of a complex hero.

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

So these soulmate headcanons.. WOW, they’re awesome! Please, pretty please make one for Reiji 🙏🙏

So sorry for the wait! I got really carried away with this one and it ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be, so I’ve put it under the cut. I hope you like it ^^ 

General setup: Set in a universe where everyone has a soulmate and there are various different connections between soulmates. Vampires (and Founders) have been known to have human soulmates. Generally the connection between a vampire/founder and their soulmate will not kick in until their soulmate is born and will fade after their soulmate dies. It considered unusual for a vampire to meet, let alone be with, their human soulmate.

Reiji Sakamaki

Connection with soulmate:  youcan influence your soulmate’s emotions when in physical contact with them.

- You weren’t born with any sort of obvious connection to your soulmate. Many people weren’t, but it didn’t stop you from feeling a slight sense of envy towards those with a name or pattern inked on their body that would lead them to their other half. No, you would have to rely on luck to find your soulmate, and you were left with little clue as to what form the connection might take when it showed itself.

- Years passed and all too quickly you found yourself preparing for your last year of school, your connection to your soulmate as elusive as it had always been.

- Just before the start of term, a letter arrived, with an offer to a transfer to Ryoutei Academy and a place to stay while you studied there. One of your relatives had some connection to the politician Tougo Sakamaki, and had apparently been able to pull some strings to be able to arrange the whole thing. Whether you wanted to transfer to the school or not, you were given little choice in the matter, and as all of your friends started back at your old school, you were being driven in a sleek black car to your new home, leaving all of them behind.

- Although the mansion had a dark, unsettling feeling the moment you laid eyes on it, nothing could have prepared you for what lay inside its walls. Vampires, cruel and vicious, some nightmare made flesh, and your apparent hosts. Although captors might have been a more accurate term, all connection to your loved ones had been severed and any attempts to run were met with swift retaliation. 

- Reiji had hardly taken a vested interest in you when you first arrived at the house. Your manners and posture left a fair amount to be desired but at least you were slightly better than some of the louder women they’d been sent over the years. Mostly the triplets did with you as they pleased, and he suspected it would not be long before yet another bride would need to be dispatched by the church. 

- A few weeks after you first arrived, Reiji was enjoying a rare moment of peace in his room. A pot of freshly brewed tea steaming on the table, it’s pleasant aroma filling the air as he flicked through his notes. The sound of hurried footsteps echoed down the hall and Reiji lifted his head in response.

Moments later, the door slammed open and you tumbled inside, the scent of your fear heavy in the air. Your eyes widened as soon as they found his and you started to stammer out an apology, something about how Ayato was chasing you and you hadn’t realized this room was occupied. 

What an unsightly creature you were, your blouse half torn open and your hair in disarray. But he was far from one to refuse such an opportunity. 

Reiji set his notes to the side, readjusting his glasses as he noted how rude, not to mention unwise, it was to intrude in such a manner. It seemed that you thought you might be able to leave his room with only a simple chiding. How terribly naive.

He played to your assumptions for a short while, issuing a verbal dress-down that left you slightly red in the face. When he made an act of generously offering you a cup of tea, you muttered a soft yes almost immediately, eyes on the floor. 

It was a simple matter to slip one of his newer concoctions into your cup without your notice. A few minutes after accepting the drink, your hand went to the base of your throat and you started to wince.

“Is something the matter?” Reiji inquired, his own cup untouched. 

“My throat, it feels like it’s on fire,” you said, your voice hoarse.

“How interesting, I’d hoped it would paralyse the vocal cords completely, but it seems I still have more work to do.”

Your expression morphed into one of horror and you quickly stood and backed towards the door, but it was too late. Only a flick of his power was required to lock the door without him ever actually touching it. In no time, Reiji had you against the wall, wrists pinned by his gloved hand. You struggled against him but it was to no avail, and then his teeth were at your neck.

The moment his lips touched your skin, a jolt of fear shot through him. Some kind of mortal terror, the likes of which he’d never experienced before. He drew back and the feeling vanished, leaving him breathless. What was this? Your scent was that of an ordinary human, you certainly shouldn’t have the power to affect him in such a manner. 

Experimentally, Reiji ran a bare finger over the skin of your neck and the same sensation filled him. Flinching back as thought he’d been burned, he tightened his grip on your wrists to the point where you cried out.

“What exactly are you?” He hissed, scanning your eyes for any indication of deception.

“Human,” your voice shook, “I’m just a human.” 

Reiji took a deep breath to see if there was anything he’d missed in your scent, but it was utterly mortal, laced with fear. Wait, fear. Those were your emotions he’d sensed, but how? Vampires were capable of many things but this wasn’t one of them. Unless… 

An idea of the situation took shape in his mind, and there was only one way to test it. He lowered his mouth to your neck again, ignoring how you flinched away.

The fear hit him again, but this time he pushed back, summoning the sense of calm he felt when left to enjoy his tea in peace. Almost immediately your muscles relaxed, and even as his fangs pierced your skin, you made no move to struggle, nor did you protest.

The moment his skin left yours, you stiffened. The air once again rife with the smell of your fear.

“What… What did you do to me?” You spoke in a small voice.

A connection that flowed equally between a vampire and a human, Reiji had no doubt about exactly what it meant. That a mortal child held such a power over him… It was far from a pleasant thought and no matter what you were, it was not something he would allow you to wield against him.

“Have you truly not grasped the innate differences between us? This is just another one of the many abilities at my disposal, and another reason why you should learn your place in this household. Should I choose to, I could make it so that you begged me to drink from you to the point where your blood ran dry.” You shivered in his hold, and Reiji braced himself for the onslaught of emotion as he bit down over your clavicle.

You were far from what he had hoped for in a partner, but perhaps that could be rectified with a bit of time and training. The nature of your connection to each other certainly held some potential in that regard, although he would need to find a way to keep you from being able to subconsciously impose your emotions on him.   

One thing was for sure though, the triplets had had the last of their fun with you. From now on, the only one who would be feeding from you was him.

- The nature of your days in the mansion changed after your encounter with Reiji. Gone were the many hours the triplets would spend bothering you. They still tried of course, but Reiji had an uncanny tendency to interrupt them before they could ever get very far. In fact, you seemed to be able to go very little time without Reiji making some sort of appearance. He’d somehow managed to get hold of your academic record and informed you that it was not fit for a member of the household, even though you suspected it was at least better than some of his brothers.

He seemed to have decided that it was his duty to ensure your grades were up to scratch and, everyday after school, you were to meet in his rooms for tutoring. Sometimes it would be topics you were familiar with, other times it would be extensions of the syllabus and then there were the lessons on deportment. You’d protested that the latter had little to do with your grades but Reiji had shot you a glance and made a scathing comment about how you were in desperate need of them regardless. Since then, you hadn’t voiced any further complaints.

You couldn’t wrap your head around Reiji at all. His punishments for failing to meet his expectations were harsh, as the marks from his riding crop all over your back proved. But he was capable of being pleasant, of offering a kind word or gesture whenever you began to wonder what the point in trying to please a man with such high standards even was.

And, more surprisingly, he had made no move to bite you since that first day. Not once. He’d also taken to wearing two gloves as opposed to the single one he’d worn in the time before he’d taken such an interest in you, as though he couldn’t bare to touch someone of such low worth.

- About a month or so after your tutoring sessions had begun, Reiji had offered you some of his precious tea and you’d known better than to refuse. It was something of a common occurrence. Sometimes the brew would leave a terrible numbness in your limbs, or cause you to feel so hot that you might burst into flames. But then there were instances where it was only tea and Reiji would chuckle as you stared at the contents of the cup in paranoia.

On this particular evening, when you felt perfectly fine after finishing almost half a teapot of Darjeeling, it seemed it would be one latter occasions. Except when you met Reiji’s eye, he was studying you in a way he often did when you were acting as a test subject for one of his potions. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked, a slight sense of apprehension clear in your voice.

Reiji took a deep breath and picked at the hem of the white glove on his left hand. In the blink of an eye, he was standing over you, a bare hand gripping your chin and tilting your head to look at him. 

“Do you truly feel nothing at all?” He asked, his expression scrutinous.

“N, no,” you replied weakly. “Am I supposed to?” 

“Ah-” he withdrew his hand “-it would seem that particular potion is defective. You need not pay it any mind.” Reiji returned to his seat and took a long sip from his own cup of tea before turning his attention to you. “I’m sure you must be aware by now that a full moon will soon be upon us, and as a result, I find that my throat is not soothed by tea alone.” He set his teacup to the side with a soft clink and you swallowed nervously as he approached you once again. 

His fangs pierced the skin of  your neck, sending pain stinging through you. You braced yourself, expecting him to use that strange ability he had once before to influence your own feelings. But there was nothing aside from the throbbing that accompanied the process of having your blood sucked. And when he pulled back, you could have sworn you saw something akin to a sick sort of glee in his eyes.

- After you’d retired for the night, Reiji swirled the small bottle of clear liquid he’d spent weeks working on. It had worked to utter perfection. Naturally, it’d been prudent to test the potion on you first and when you’d shown no ill effects it had been time to assess it’s true effectiveness. When he’d touched you, Reiji had been able to feel a slight flicker of your emotions. Nothing comparable to that he’d experienced before, so it would seem that for one of you to truly feel the emotion, the other would have to be experiencing it strongly or send it through your connection by force. 

He’d tried to send a feeling through that intangible bond between you, watching closely for any sign of reaction from you. There had been none however, and he’d known then that the potion was fit for his purposes. The effects were not designed to be permanent, but by taking a dose of it each day, it ensured he could touch you while his feelings remained entirely his own. You, on the other hand, would feel whatever he sent through your connection.

With a little experimenting he realized he could even cause you to be overcome by pain or pleasure with a simple touch. Your improvements in his lessons were drastic, your feelings apparently a much more powerful motivator than any physical incentive he could provide, and you quickly grew into a far more suitable partner for him than when you’d first arrived at the mansion. In fact, Reiji found that he had almost started to enjoy periods spent in your company, at least more so than he had with any other bride. You were not a poor conversationalist in the right setting, and had even offered more than a few insightful comments without his prompting. 

Perhaps you were soulmates for a reason after all. 

- In the weeks that followed, you knew something was not right. Emotions that didn’t quite feel like your own would plague you whenever spent time in the company of the second eldest Sakamaki. A flash of disgust when you caught sight of Shu sleeping in some inconvenient location, a sense of discontent whenever your grades were less than perfect and a newfound appreciation for crockery.  

But in spite of it, you had come to look forward to the time you’d spend with Reiji, to the point where you were developing feelings for him. Unfortunately however, you were unable to tell whether they were genuine or another result of those awful vampiric abilities of his. 

- One day, as you were walking through the school corridors to collect some documents your teacher had asked for, your foot caught on something and you went sprawling across the floor. 

“Heh, nice underwear.” Snapping your head back, you caught sight of Shu, one eye cracked open as he looked at the point where your skirt had ridden up exposing… You quickly adjusted the fabric and made to get to your feet. His legs must have been what you’d tripped over in the first place and you felt some lingering sense that you should get away from the blonde vampire as quickly as possible. 

A pale hand shot out and grabbed hold of your wrist. “Hold it, I’m thirsty.” You struggled but were ultimately powerless as he lifted your wrist to his mouth. Blue eyes met yours. “You were the one who fell on top of me and exposed yourself, lewd woman,” he said before biting down. 

“Stop!” You used your free hand to shove against him in an effort to free yourself. In spite of how much worse it would make the wounds, the feeling of his fangs in you was unpleasant enough to risk it. “Let go of me!”

“Tch, noisy.” He twisted your wrist until it was at a painful angle and bit down again.

“Ah, it hurts. Stop it!” Even though you knew your protests were more likely to end in further injury than anything else, you couldn’t help it. The sensation of his hands on you felt wrong.

After taking a good long drink of your blood, Shu pulled back and sighed. “You’re unusually bothersome for prey that’s been with us this long.”

“If you have a real problem with it, then why don’t you just use your vampiric powers to manipulate my own feelings against me? Reiji seems to do it often enough.” The bitterness in your own voice surprised you.

Shu’s eyes narrowed in what might almost have been confusion. “What are you… He has taken an unusual interest in you.” Something seemed to click, and a cruel smile played at his lips. “You really are an idiot, didn’t you notice that the triplets never did any similar?”

“What… what are you saying?” Now that you thought about it, they hadn’t. But Reiji was older than them, it didn’t seem too unbelievable that he’d have a better handle on his abilities.

“I’m saying, whatever you’re talking about has nothing to do with him being a vampire.” Shu yawned and let go of you. “Enough, I’m sleepy. Go and find somewhere else to be.”

“Wait! What do you mean ‘nothing to do with him being a vampire’? What is it?” You asked in frustration.

“If you’re so dense you can’t figure it out then go and bother him. Although there must be a reason why he hasn’t told you yet.” Shu closed his eyes, a signal that your conversation was at an end. 

You stood motionless in the corridor, mind reeling. Something that allowed him to influence you in such an intimate way but wasn’t just another one of his supernatural abilities. There was only one possibility that came to mind and the revelation made your heart stop. 

A soulmate connection. With Reiji. And… he knew. He knew but he hadn’t told you, had instead just used it to manipulate you. 

Tears welled in your eyes, a mixture of anger and betrayal filling you. It seemed you would need to have a conversation with the vampire that was long overdue.

- Reiji could scent Shu on you the moment you stepped into the limo on your way back to the mansion. The blonde himself didn’t make an appearance, apparently so lacking in energy that he couldn’t even move himself to the vehicle. Pathetic.

It was only the presence of his other brothers that kept Reiji from doing anything during the ride home. No, this matter would be dealt with in private. Shu had trifled with his prey before, but this time felt infinitely worse; a gross violation of what belonged to him. And that you had allowed it to happen…

For your part, you were unusually silent on the journey, your hand subconsciously straying to your wrist every so often, where Shu had bitten you no doubt. 

The moment, you arrived at the mansion, Reiji ordered you to his room. You obliged but there was something in your expression he didn’t like, not one bit. 

“So,” he said, after his door had closed behind you, “are you going to tell me where that mark on your wrist came from or will I have to force it out of you?” The riding crop in his desk was easily accessible, but it didn’t feel like it would be enough. Nothing did.

You were silent, looking at him with an expression he couldn’t quite read.

“Well?” Had contact with that good for nothing really corrupted you to the point where you would act with such disobedience. 

“How long?” You said in a small voice.

“I beg your pardon.”

“How long?” You repeated.

“Perhaps if you would care to elaborate, I might be obliged to answer,” he replied, and were he not mired in anger, he might have felt a slight sense of apprehension at your words.

“How long have you known that we’re soulmates Reiji?” You met his eyes for the first time since you’d entered the room.

If Reiji’s heart beat as a mortals did then he was sure it would have stopped dead. You’d found out somehow. Shu! He was going to kill him. 

“What did he say to you?” In a flash he had you against the wall, gripping your chin so you were forced to see the fury in his eyes. 

“Barely anything, but enough to let me know whatever you’ve been doing to me isn’t a result of any vampire ability as you’d have me believe. Why were you so determined to keep it a secret? Because you enjoyed being able to hold it over me? Because I wasn’t what you wanted so you took to training me like some kind of pet?” You spat, anger overriding whatever self-preservation instincts told you defying him was a poor idea.

“That… That is not any of your concern.” He’d known it was unlikely he’d be able to keep the truth from you forever, but he certainly hadn’t intended for you to find out like this.

“No, it is, that’s the point Reiji! It is my concern! Soulmates are meant to be equals, partners. But instead you’ve done nothing but use our connection to manipulate me.” Raising your voice at him was certainly not a wise idea, but you either didn’t think about it or didn’t care.

“Silence!” His grip on you was bruising. “You truly think we are equals? How terribly childlike, but then what should I expect, compared to me, dear,” the word came out as a sneer, “you might as well be a child. Do not think just because such a connection exists between us that it grants you any sort of rights over me, is that understood?”

A loud slap rang throughout the room. Reiji stood with his head to the side, glasses knocked slightly askew and a faint sting on his cheek where your hand had impacted it. He released your chin in shock and you fled from the room immediately. Ordinarily he would have made a move to stop you, but instead he stood, frozen in place. 

It was not the physical contact that had affected him so, no, you possessed so little strength compared to him that the very idea of it was laughable. Instead, it was the flood of emotions that had passed from you to him in the short moment your hand had made contact, strong enough to override the tonic coursing through his system.

Anger was at the forefront, followed by sorrow and number of other fleeting emotions, but the one that lingered, and left him standing while you ran, was betrayal, deep and sickening. The dregs of fondness he’d sensed explained perhaps why it was so strong. After all, the deepest wounds could only be inflicted by someone you cared for, trusted. 

Reiji glanced towards the door. He could easily catch you, take you down to the dungeons and thrash you until you screamed yourself hoarse for your outburst. As much as he felt like he should, he was intelligent enough to know it would ultimately do little good. And, if he was even the slightest bit truthful to himself, he knew it would utterly destroy whatever had been built between the two of you. 

A brief flick of his wrist and the door closed. He had some thinking to do.

- You weren’t sure what on Earth had possessed you to yell at Reiji, let alone strike him across the face. After sitting in the silence of your room, your anger had faded, replaced with misery… and fear. It had been foolish to allow your emotions to get the better of you in a house full of vampires who could kill you with half a thought, and especially with Reiji of all people.

The longer you spent in your room, the more afraid you became. Your actions certainly wouldn’t go without recompense. Regardless of what Reiji had done and how you felt about it, you’d come to learn that your opinions meant very little in this household.

A sharp knock resounded on your bedroom door and you felt the hair rise on the back of your neck in response. Was this it? Had Reiji finally come to finish you off for slapping him and being unfortunate enough to run into Shu? Or had your soulmate announced that he was done with you and now one of his brothers was outside your door waiting to drain you dry? Then again, if whoever was standing on the other side was really intent on your demise, it was unlikely they’d bother to knock first.

“Come in,” you called out softly, glancing at the lamp on your bedside table, you supposed that you could at least try to use it as a weapon if it came down to it. Although even then, you doubted you’d last more than a minute.

The door opened and Reiji stepped inside, carrying a tray laden with a teapot and two of his beloved ornate teacups.

Fear shot through you at the sight of him, recalling the last words you’d spoken to him and the large collection of toxins he kept on his shelf gave you an idea of where this might lead; death by poisoned tea.

Sharp eyes shot to you as Reiji set the tray on the small table in your room. “After all the time I’ve spent on you, you could at least try to maintain some semblance of composure. Although I suppose a healthy dose of fear is warranted given your actions towards me earlier.” A hint of a wicked smile played at his lips and an unpleasant shiver ran down your spine.

“Reiji I…” Your voice cracked and you felt vaguely like you might be about to burst into tears.

He held up a hand as indication to cease whatever miserable plea it was you were about to make.

“I will discuss your punishment for your behavior later, for now-“ he gestured to one of the chairs at your table “-take a seat. And do try to put the lessons on posture I gave you to good use.”

You obediently made your way to the chair and sat down, being sure to keep your spine straight. While your anger at the way he’d manipulated you hadn’t simply vanished, your fear was enough to keep it at bay. Whatever self-destructive impulses had driven you to act earlier, now a dying whisper. 

Reiji sat in the chair opposite you and poured dark steaming tea into the cup closest to you. As the liquid trickled into the white china, you thought of all the horrors that it could contain. You’d been exposed to his concoctions before with varying effects, however nothing had done lasting damage. But then you’d never pushed him like this.

“I’m really truly sorry,” you began, whether from genuine regret or fear you weren’t sure. ”I shouldn’t have yelled or slapped you but I wasn’t thinking, I just felt so frustrated and-”

“As much as I feel you should show some remorse over your actions, you need not get yourself into such an unsightly state. It is just tea. I am perfectly capable of ending your life with my own hands, and I would not waste any of my deadlier arsenal on a fragile mortal such as yourself.” His words were as clipped and cutting as always. You took hold of the teacup, the liquid rippling as your hands trembled. 

“Well, as I’ve gone to the trouble of preparing it for you, you had best taste it, had you not?” A thinly veiled order.

You sniffed miserably into the teacup before taking a sip. All things considered, it truly was delicious. Some rich blend with just the right hint of bitterness.  When you glanced up, Reiji was observing you expectantly and you swallowed shakily.

“It’s lovely, thank you.” You tried to offer a polite smile but you were fairly certain it was more of a grimace.

“Hm, well at least you haven’t forgotten basic manners.” Reiji pushed his glasses back up his nose with a single finger but said no more. You wanted to know what this was all about but you really didn’t want to ask him and so instead simply slipped away at your tea. The silence was thick, heavy and uncomfortable, the vampire across from you seeming content to watch you. Or perhaps he was just waiting to strike.

Once you’d emptied your cup, you set it down delicately on the tray, not wanting to add breaking his chinaware to the list of slights you’d committed. Reiji lifted the teapot to pour you another cup, before clearing his throat.

“With regard to the nature of our… connection to each other, perhaps it was remiss of me not to inform you of it sooner.” For once, he didn’t quite meet your eyes, instead focusing on the action of refilling the teacup. 

It occurred to you that this might be some poor form of an apology, or at least as close to one as Reiji was willing to give you. You sat there dumbstruck as he continued.

“As you have made such progress in our lessons, I have decided that causing any lasting damage over a single outburst is something of a waste. Once you have been properly disciplined, I plan to resume our sessions together unless-” he finally lifted his eyes to meet your gaze “-you are now so opposed to my company that you would prefer to serve as a meal for one of my brothers.”

“No!” You blurted out. Whatever your feelings, you certainly didn’t want to go back to being the triplets’ plaything. “I would… prefer to resume our lessons.”

“A sensible choice. Well, you should finish your tea before it cools. I don’t have all night and your punishment awaits.” And with the smirk he gave you, you wondered whether you might come to regret your decision. 

***

You can find links to my other soulmate AU headcanons on my master list. Feel free to request a set for any of the other boys, you can check to see if a character has already been requested on my current projects list ^^ Next up is Ruki~

[douxreviews]

American Gods - ‘House on the Rock’ Review

"To be continued, in what some call the real world."

American Gods is back, and opens season two with the centerpiece location from the first half of the novel. Was it worth the wait? Yes. It was worth the wait.

I don't think that there's anyone who's watching this show who is unaware of just how long the wait was between seasons one and two. It's been just shy of two years since the corpse of Laura Moon walked out onto Easter's balcony and politely interrupted the opening ceremonies of God War I with a relatively polite request to speak to her husband. It wasn't precisely a cliffhanger, but it definitely was a tense situation which was waiting for some resolution.

Unfortunately, due to circumstances behind the scenes, they weren't able to pick up the scene where they left it, and had no choice but to paper over the join as best they could and continue with the larger story.

To quickly sum up the scene as we left it, Wednesday had convinced Easter to join the side of the old gods in his coming war. Media, Technical Boy, and Mr. World were present to witness her choice, and it forced Mr. World to finally accept the declaration of war; something he had previously been disinclined to do. As a result of these advancements in the god/war plot, Shadow found and declared his belief in all the gods around him. Or, alternately, as a result of Shadow finding and declaring his belief in the gods around him, those advancements in the god/war plot occurred. It depends on how you read the situation. And as those events simultaneously climaxed and/or caused one another, Laura and Mad Sweeney joined them on the lanai to deal with her marital problems.

Fade to black. End series one.

Series two picks up in the aftermath of those events, but only indirectly. As discussed at length in my previous review, one quarter of the actors present in the finale are no longer with the show, which means that we don't get to see how the immediate moments following the end of season one play out. To be fair, it's possible that they never would have picked up exactly where they left off. There's a school of thought that leans toward resolving cliffhangers by picking up somewhere unrelated and then winding your way back to explain what happened. Steven Moffat, as an example, is a big proponent of that technique. Maybe the plan was always to begin with Technical Boy frantically driving his limo away from the scene with the remnants of Mr. World in the back. Perhaps the only real difference is that Media would have been with them, if Gillian Anderson was still on the show.

In any case, they have two missing characters to account for, and I think they made a really good decision in the case of Media. Making her absence part of the plot turns a problem into a storytelling opportunity, and was a good call.  We find out pretty quickly that Media has gone missing after the finale, and Technical Boy's plotline is going to be looking for her on Mr. World's orders. That opens up a lot of storytelling possibilities, and it was a good solution to the problem. It is a little odd that we last saw all three of them together and perfectly fine, only to be told now that she somehow vanished, but it holds together, and they have plenty of time to give us more explanation as the search for her goes on.

Easter, on the other hand, merely gets a line of dialog later on from Mr. Nancy, stating that she's not going to participate anymore because she's mad about Wednesday running over her bunnies. That's kind of a cop out, but Easter's story was essentially told last episode, so it's not too great a loss to move on from her to other characters. If you're familiar with the novel, you know that Easter has one fairly significant plot function down the road, but at the pace the show is going that probably won't happen until season five or six, so there's plenty of time to either mend fences with Kristin Chenoweth or figure out another option before we get there. If we even get there, for that matter – serialized television has broken all of our hearts before, remember.

The somewhat utilitarian way that the show moved on from the season one climax is kind of indicative of a change of tone overall. It's not that there's less meat on the storytelling bone, but there is notably less fat on it. When we left them, Laura had just found out that Wednesday had her killed, Sweeney had revealed to her that it was him who actually did the task, and Laura was about to tell Shadow both of these facts. But we pick up with the four of them on a road trip together, so whatever happened they apparently worked that all out. What we do get is the map segue showing the trip to Wisconsin and while there's some admirably efficient dialog between them that reminds us of a couple of plot points that we might have forgotten over the hiatus and establishes a few character touches that are going to be relevant later, it seems pretty clear that the show is mostly interested in getting them to the big showpiece and isn't going to be delayed by a little thing like character conflict. Witness, for example, the way that Salim just walks into a scene with the Jinn with no lead in about his journey to Wisconsin, or how he found the Jinn inside the house. Neither of those things matter, the show just wants to get to their long awaited reunion.

Honestly, it mostly feels like after spending all of season one not getting to the House on the Rock, arguably the big showpiece of the setup phase of the novel, they were determined to make it happen in the season two opener as quickly and efficiently as possible. So while we finally get to meet Mr. World's network, and Mr. Town finally gets brought into things, the Black Briar Secret Government Safehouse and Country Club is clearly being sketched in quickly so that they exist by the end of the episode, when we need them to be responsible for a sniper attack.

All of this makes me suspect that my take on things behind the scenes was correct, and it came down to Fuller and Green wanting more of an anthology show and Gaiman wanting to focus more on the plot of the novel. Both of which viewpoints are totally valid, if that needs to be stated.

So, now that we've gotten to the big showpiece setting, how did they do with it? Well, the House on the Rock looks fantastic, as it would. They filmed at the house itself, which is a real location and exists pretty much exactly as described, if anyone hadn't already heard that. The carousel looked fantastic, and the realization of the council of gods inside Wednesday's head is beautiful and stuffed to the brim with nice little details like the way Zorya Vechernayaya has three faces when you focus on her and Anansi's spider eyes. They really needed to make that scene look amazing, and you can see the work on screen. Although there is just a little too much usage of smoke and sparks, which is usually a tell that there's a lot of compositing that they're trying to blend together. The diner scene afterwards is equally well presented, and actually more deserving of a shout out, as 20-30 people having a party at a restaurant is a nightmare brief as far as staging and filming goes.

That's really the episode in a nutshell. The things that needed to happen they did very, very well. It's just that there's very few instances of extraneous details outside of the big important things that needed to happen, and I think the show is just a little less rich for it. Of course this is only the first episode of the season, and premieres are notorious for that exact criticism, so we'll see how things develop.

Quotes:

Laura: "I still don’t understand how such a sweet old man can have so many enemies." Wednesday: "Oh, it’s perfectly simple, my dear. Jealousy. Unmitigated jealousy."

Laura: "Do you believe in mermaids now?" Shadow: "I don’t know what I believe in yet. I guess. I don’t know."

Jinn: "You’re here for the meeting?" Bilquis: "I wasn’t formally invited."

Mr. Nancy: "Mad Sweeney, is that you? Or is it Wednesday’s bullshit I smell."

Sweeney: "You sound like a man who’d fight to get back into those maggoty panties." Maggoty Panties is the name of my new punk band.

Bilquis: "I was old in the desert before they sacrificed the first horse to you. I will be heard. Unless you’re afraid?"

Mr. Nancy: "Apparently the houses in this area were built by some skinny white motherf**ker named Frank Lloyd Wright. Some say his evil twin brother built this one. Frank Lloyd Wrong."

Bits and Pieces:

-- I'm not 100% clear what Bilquis' goals at the meeting were. She's nominally working for the new gods, or at least seems to be, and she clearly knew about the sniper because she left the restaurant immediately before the shooting started. Is she a spy? Was she supposed to disrupt the meeting? That would explain her speech about the new gods being nice and giving her a new platform, but it didn't seem like her heart was in it.

-- It's very sad that Zorya Vechernayaya was shot and killed, but didn't we just see like three other gods killed in the same crossfire? Did we just not like the god of getting his face blown off as much?

-- It's intriguing that we were shown twice that gods can't identify one another as gods on sight. Wednesday might have been lying for reasons of his own when he claimed to think Salim was a god, but then Bilquis made the same mistake with Laura, so it looks like they genuinely can't tell. That surprised me. Neither Salim nor Laura took Winston Zedmore's advice on this issue.

-- I can't have been alone in momentarily believing that Anansi was about to launch into the story about the tiger's balls. Which I suspect was deliberate.

-- This week in Orlando Jones' Fabulous Outfit Watch: He was sporting a blue plaid number that was quite nice, but not quite as shiny and wonderful as the shiny cream number he was wearing while he did the tailoring a few episodes back. Again, I really, really hope that Orlando Jones is enjoying every second of his wardrobe.

-- As they got on the carousel, Mr. Nancy rides a lion, Wednesday appears to be atop a wolf, Shadow climbs on an eagle, and Bilquis mounts a pirate.

-- Mad Sweeney, after complaining repeatedly about Laura having his luck, got lucky when he slipped in a patch of blood and avoided getting shot. Emily Browning's eye roll when the bullet hit her not-previously-damaged shoulder was priceless.

-- According to the fortune teller booth, Shadow's lucky number is none and his lucky color is dead. Man, just when you thought fortune teller booths couldn't be creepier.

-- For all his irritation that Salim had followed him, the Jinn immediately moved to protect him when the bullets started flying. That was sweet.

A solid season opener that manfully took the occasionally wandering larger plotline from season one and firmly put it on a more defined course. I just hope that less exploration of the corners of the novel's universe doesn't end up being no exploration of the corners of the novel's universe. Oh, and I already miss Fuller's trademark screeching strings and horns approach to incidental music. Hope that makes a return as well.

Three out of four creepy fortune telling mannequins.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[lesbian-sora]

Winter Wonderland

Day eight!

Summary ~ In a last-minute attempt to get away from his family for the holidays, Dan rents a cabin in the woods of North Western America. He knows for a fact that this Christmas will be the perfect Christmas no matter how hard he tries. 

Meanwhile, Phil is running from his feelings and responsibilities by hiding out in his aunts’ cabin. He knows it’s not a perfect solution, but he needs to get away from his usual Christmas traditions. 

As they say, great minds think alike, but maybe sharing a cabin with a stranger wasn’t what they meant.

Genre ~ Fluff, strangers to lovers, family angst

Words ~ 2.3K/~10K

Warnings ~ Only swearing in this part, but referenced character death later on

Author’s Note ~ Yay! I’m gonna try to do a multi chaptered fic again! It won’t be super long, so I’ll probably be done in maybe a week, but I’m planning to get out a chapter every day until it’s done. If this fic isn’t your thing, that’s okay! I’ll still be uploading a Christmas fic every day, too. Here we go!

Next chapter!

Prompt me!

Buy me a coffee!

Yesterday’s fic!

The snow was falling lightly on the mountain, but the narrow road that wound up it stayed clear and cut a dark spiral through the white powder. A lone bright yellow cab made its slow but steady trek up. The December air was cold, but inside was warm and soft Christmas music played over the speakers. The driver just hummed and drummed his fingers against the wheel to the tune of the song, but his passenger in the back seat was staring out the window and talking on the phone.

“Dan, I can’t believe you’ve run off to America and left me here alone at Christmas,” Louise whined across the line. “You could have at least given me a warning so I had a chance to give you your Christmas present. Now I’ll have to wait until New Years to give it to you and that’s just ridiculous.”

“People give each other Christmas gifts late all the time,” Dan corrected her. Remember year before last when we were both so busy that we didn’t manage to get our gifts delivered until February.”

“That was awful! We swore we’d never speak of it again! I had a wrapped gift on my hearth for almost three months!”  

“Actually, we never swore to anything, you just told me not to,” Dan smirked. “Besides, that’s just proof that you’ll be fine keeping my gift for an extra week. If you want you can come pick me up from the airport and give it to me then.”

“You wish. I don’t give festivity deserters rides anywhere.”

“You’re so mean to me,” Dan whined half-heartedly. As he said this, the car rolled to a halt, but when he looked outside, the cabin was nowhere to be seen. “Anyway, I have to go. I’ll call you when I get settled.” He hung up and leaned forward to get the driver’s attention. “Hey, why are we stopped?”

“This is as far as I can take you,” the driver explained. “That’s the driveway, but it requires four-wheel drive, which I don’t have. Sorry, but I gotta leave you here.”

Dan quickly pulled up his maps and groaned. “But I have luggage! And it’s snowing!”

“Sorry, pal,” the driver shrugged. “Nothing I can do.”

Muttering darkly to himself, Dan paid the man and got his bags out of the back of the car, relieved that he’d left in such a hurry that he didn’t have time to pack as much as he normally would have. Thankfully, the snow was light, and he started his hike through the woods. About three minutes in, he discovered that his shoes were not at all designed for this, and all he could do was hope that his sneakers weren’t ruined.

Ten minutes later, he made it to the cabin and was surprised to see an old beat up blue truck parked outside. He assumed it belonged to a groundskeeper or cleaner and shrugged. Maybe they’d be willing to show him where everything was. As soon as he hauled his things up the last few stairs, he immediately started shedding his damp clothes and made a beeline for the lounge (or should he call it a “living room” now that he was in America?) to start a fire and get warmed up. Much to his surprise, there was already a small fire crackling away happily, so he sat down right in front of it, and let his eyes slip closed at the feeling of warmth.

“Uh, hello?”

Dan’s eyes snapped open to see a man, probably around his height, standing in front of him with a confused expression and a thick blanket. Dan smiled and offered a hand. “Hi, I’m Dan; I’m renting this place for the next couple weeks. Do you work here?”

“Uh, no, I don’t work here,” the man said, and Dan could hear a familiar accent coloring his tone. “And what do you mean you’re ‘renting’ it?”

“I mean I went on Airbnb and booked it through New Year’s,” Dan said. “And if you don’t work here, what are you doing here?”

“This is my aunts’ place,” he said. “They’re letting me stay here for the holidays while they’re in Italy.”

Dan flushed darkly and covered his face with his hands. “I’m so sorry. I must have the wrong address or something.”

The man laughed. “No problem. Who are you renting from? I haven’t been here for years, but I may know them. I could give you a ride so you don’t have to walk.”

Still a bit rosey-cheeked, Dan smiled up at him. “That would be great. I’m renting from the Moore-Davies and their place is called Badger Rest. Do you know it?”

The man sputtered. “I, uh, yeah, I know it.”

Dan beamed. “Great! Let me grab my stuff and I’ll be out of your hair as soon as possible.”

The man groaned. “No, look. I know Badger Rest because my aunts are Sara and Jessica Moore-Davies. I convinced them to name it Badger Rest because this is where I got my pet badger.”

“Jessica Moore-Davies is your aunt?” Dan clarified. “The same Jessica Moore-Davies that I’ve been chatting with for a week about renting this place?”

“Yeah,” the man said. “She married my Aunt Sara, who I talked to day before yesterday. They must not have talked to each other about letting people stay here.”

“What am I gonna do?” Dan moaned, burying his face in his hands.

“Hey, hey, don’t worry!” the man said, a twinge of panic to his voice. “I’m not going to kick you out or anything. You paid good money to stay here, I’m sure. Besides, I doubt you have anywhere around here to stay anyway. If you want, we can share. At least for today.”

Dan peered up at him through his fingers. “You’d really do that for me?”

The man grinned. “Of course! Besides, this works out. Now I can be sure that you’re not going to throw any wild house parties and ruin my aunts’ cabin.”

Dan snorted. “As if I could throw a party.”

The man chuckled and offered a hand. “Phil Lester is the name. I was about to get started on dinner. Do you have a problem eating stir-fry? I’m not the best at cooking, but I think I’ve got this down at least.”

Dan took the hand and surprised Phil by using it to pull himself to his feet. “Dan Howell. Do you want some help cooking?”

“Yeah!” Phil nodded. “Careful with the cabinets, though. I’m notorious for leaving them open and I don’t want you to hit your head on the corner or anything.”

“Duly noted.”

Together, they chopped vegetables and sauteed meat and cooked rice, chatting the entire time. There was one instance where Phil almost caught a tea towel fire, but Dan managed to snatch it off the hot eye before any real damage could be done. As they talked Dan quickly learned that he and Phil had basically the same set of interests, just with varying levels of enthusiasm. When Dan learned that Phil had brought his entire Switch system and several games, he almost kissed him.

“Dinner was great, thanks,” Dan sighed, letting his eyes slip closed with a contented sigh.

“I’d say you’re welcome, but you kicked me off the stove halfway through,” Phil teased.

Dan grinned. “I said what I said.”

Phil snickered. “Do you want to play Mario Kart? I’ll pick up the dishes if you go get everything set up.”

“You are like a gift from god.”

“Sure. Give me your plate.”

Dan did as he was told and scurried off to set up their game. Phil had only gotten to the cabin less than an hour before Dan, so the system was still in its traveling case on the floor next to the TV. Thankfully, setup didn’t take too long, and after he untangled and plugged in the wires, Dan was shuffling through Phil’s games. At first he’d thought it was adorable that Phil carried his games around in their original boxes instead of a travel case like everyone else, but soon learned that Phil was an actual demon.

“Hey, so I--”

“These are all in the wrong cases, you absolute trollop!” Dan interrupted gently chucking the box for Mario Odyssey (which contained Zelda) at Phil’s shins.

Phil just giggled with no shame. “I’m pretty sure Mario Kart is in the Splatoon case.”

Dan shot him a glare and opened the box, sure enough finding Mario Kart right where Phil said it would be. “You’re an awful, despicable person,” Dan informed, sitting himself on the couch next to Phil as the menu screen popped up. He handed the blue controler over to Phil who quickly selected the game.

“Who do you normally play as?” Phil asked casually, roaming his cursor over all the characters, not stopping on one for too long.

“Usually, I just play as my Mii, but I don’t have that here so I guess I’ll be one of the Squid Kids. You?”

“Uuuuhhh,” Phil frantically switched from character to character until he finally decided. “Tanooki Mario!”

Dan cut him a playful side glare as Phil picked a cup and course and the race started. “Is this your way of telling me you’re a furry?”

“I dunno,” Phil said, totally deadpan, more focused on the game. “Is this your way of telling me you’re whatever a squid furry is called?”

Dan laughed. “First of all, definitely yes. Second, I guess they’d be squishies or something? I mean technically furries are all manner of anthropomorphised animals, so furry works anyway.”

Phil sputtered out a laugh. “Alright, good to know. Not sure I want to know how you know that, but I guess I’m glad I do now.”

“Oh, please. It’s like you don’t even internet, Phil.”

“Stop making me laugh, this is cheating!” Phil giggled as his character was fished out of the water.

“Maybe you should just get better at Mario Kart. Wait-- Hey!” Dan laughed as Phil abandoned his own controler to try and knock Dan’s from his hands. “This is blatant cheating.”

“Maybe you should just get better at Mario Kart,” Phil mocked. They tussled for a moment before the final horns sounded on the game.

Dan glanced at the screen, gaping. “Fifth? I came in fifth?” Phil was now wheezing with laughter, so Dan tossed his controller aside to continue their miniature wrestling match, this time with more tickling.

“Stop, stop, you win!” Phil choked out. Dan backed off and they laid there panting for a moment before Phil looked over with a wide grin. “So, round two?”

*_*_*_*_*_*_*

They played Mario Kart into the night, later than Dan was happy to admit, but when Dan fell asleep mid-race, they decided to call it quits. That’s when realization washed over Dan. “Phil there’s only one bed here.”

Phil grimaced. “I totally forgot about that. Maybe they have and air mattress somewhere?”

Dan was doubtful. “I dunno, your aunt was pretty adamant about making sure I knew there was only one bed.”

“Yeah, but we might as well look.”

“Might as well. I’ll check the bedroom, you check the hall closet.”

“I’ll check the attic, too,” Phil said. “I know they used to keep all kinds of stuff up there.”

Dan nodded and wandered off down the hall to the bedroom with ensuite. He doubted there was going to be an air mattress stored in the bedroom, but you never knew. He checked the closet and under the bed, but was met with the expected clothes and storage boxes. Nothing even remotely helpful here. The story was the same in the bathroom, and Dan returned to the lounge empty handed.

Phil showed up carrying an armful of blankets, but when he saw Dan with nothing his face fell. “Well, these won’t be very useful.”

“Don’t worry about it, I can just kip on the sofa,” Dan shrugged.

“Well, that doesn’t seem fair,” Phil protested. “You paid to sleep here, the least I could do is let you use the bed.”

“You were already nice enough by not kicking me out into the snow earlier,” Dan pointed out.

“Any decent human person would do that, though.”

“You’d be surprised at how few decent human people there are.” Seeing Phil’s mouth open to argue, Dan added, “How about this: I’ll take the bed tonight, and if for some reason we’re both still here tomorrow night then we’ll swap.”

“I doubt either of us are going anywhere,” Phil mused. “There’s only one hotel in town, and since it’s going through renovations I doubt there’s going to be any available rooms.”

“Then it’s settled,” Dan decided. “I’ll sleep here tonight, and you can tomorrow.”

Phil shrugged. “I guess that’s fair.” He smiled warmly at Dan. “See you in the morning.”

“Night, Phil.”

They went their separate ways for bed, and Dan changed and curled up on the couch to sleep. It was a nice couch, but there was a metal rod that cut it in half for support that hit him right on the hip, and his long limbs just barely fit on the cushions. However, easily the worst part was how cold it got so quickly. The south wall was made up entirely of windows that overlooked a beautiful, serene lake during the day, but Dan had no idea how quickly it could sap the room of warmth with the fire doused.

Dan laid there shivering and trying to fall asleep for a good half hour before the hallway light came on an a silhouetted figure stood in the doorway. Dan sat up and watched Phil come in, weighed down with a couple heavy-looking blankets and two cup of what Dan assumed was hot chocolate.

“Can’t sleep?” Dan whispered. For some reason he felt like if he dared speak any louder, something would break.

Phil smiled softly at him. “Yeah. Plus, I remembered how cold it gets in here from when I was a kid.”

Dan took the hot chocolate offered to him, and he and Phil sat together watching the snow fall outside the panoramic window. They were silent until Dan heard a soft snore from Phil. He gently woke up the other man and ushered him back to bed. When he returned to the lounge, it seemed warmer than before.

Next chapter!

Prompt me!

Buy me a coffee!

Yesterday’s fic!

[lovelyfantasticfart]

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[jamesmcphee30]

Don’t Be My Guest

I’m interrupting my regularly scheduled musing about technology and networking to talk today about something that I’m increasingly seeing come across my communications channels. The growing market for people to “guest post” on blogs. Rather than continually point folks to my policies on this, I thought it might be good to break down why I choose to do what I do.

The Archive Of Tom

First and foremost, let me reiterate for the record: I do not accept guest posts on my site.

Note that this has nothing to do with your skills as a writer, your ability to create “compelling, fresh, and exciting content”, or your particular celebrity status as the CTO/CIO/COMGWTFBBQO of some hot, fresh, exciting new company. I’m sure if Kurt Vonnegut’s ghost or J.K. Rowling wanted to make a guest post on my blog, the answer would still be the same.

Why? Because this site is the archive of my thoughts. Because I want this to be an archive of my viewpoints on technology. I want people to know how I’ve grown and changed and come to love things like SDN over the years. What I don’t want is for people to need to look at a byline to figure out why the writer suddenly loves keynotes or suddenly decides that NAT is the best protocol ever. If the only person that ever writes here is me, all the things here are my voice and my views.

That’s not to say that the idea of guest posts or multiple writers of content is a bad thing. Take a look at Packet Pushers for instance. Greg, Ethan, and Drew do an awesome job of providing a community platform for people that want to write. If you’re not willing to setup your own blog, Packet Pushers is the next best option for you. They area the SaaS version of blogging – just type in the words and let the magic happen behind the screen.

However, Packet Pushers is a collection of many different viewpoints and can be confusing sometimes. The editorial staff does a great job of keeping their hands off the content outside of the general rules about posts. But that does mean that you could have two totally different viewpoints on a topic from two different writers that are posted at the same time. If you’re not normally known as a community content hub, the whiplash between these articles could be difficult to take.

The Dark Side Of Blogging

If the entire point of guest posting was to increase community engagement, I would very likely be looking at my policy and trying to find a way to do some kind of guest posting policy. The issue isn’t the writers, it’s what the people doing the “selling” are really looking for. Every time I get a pitch for a guest post, I immediately become suspicious of the motives behind it. I’ve done some of my own investigation and I firmly believe that there is more to this than meets the eye.

Pitch: Our CEO (Name Dropper) can offer your blog an increase in traffic with his thoughts on the following articles: (List of Crazy Titles)

Response: Okay, so why does he need to post on this blog? What advantage could he have for posting here and not on the corporate blog? Are you really trying to give me more traffic out of the goodness of your own heart? Or are you trying to game the system by using my blog as a lever to increase his name recognition with Google? He gains a lot more from me than I ever will from him, especially given that your suggested blog post titles are nowhere close to the content I write about.

Pitch: We want to provide an article for you to post under your own name to generate more visibility. All we ask is for a link back to our site in your article.

Reponse: More gaming the system. Google keeps track of the links back to your site and where they come from, so the more you get your name out there the higher your results. But as Google shuts down the more nefarious avenues, companies have to find places that Google actually likes to put up the links. Also, why does this link come wrapped in some kind of link shortener? Could it be because there are tons of tracking links and referral jumps in it? I would love to push back and tell them that I’m going to include my own link with no switches or extra parts of the URL and see how quickly the proposal is withdrawn when your tracking systems fail to work the way you intend. That’s not to say that all referral links are bad, but you can better believe that if there’s a referral link, I put it there.

Pitch: We want to pay you to put our content on your site

Response: I know what people pay to put content on major news sites. You’re hoping to game the system again by getting your content up somewhere for little to nothing compared to what a major content hub would cost. Why pay for major exposure when you can get 60% of that number of hits for a third of the cost? Besides, there’s no such thing as only taking money once for a post. Pretty soon everyone will be paying and the only content that will go up will be the kind of content that I don’t want on my blog.

Tom’s Take

If you really want to make a guest post on a site, I have some great suggestions. Packet Pushers or the site I help run for work GestaltIT.com are great community content areas. If you’re looking to pay someone to get a post put up, you can always call Network Computing or TechTarget. But this blog is not the place for any of those. I’m glad that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. But for now and for the foreseeable future, this is going to by my own little corner of the world.

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