#Intense Solutions
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Every time I watch the cold open of Memorial and B'Elanna tells Tom about how she ASSEMBLED a 50's television set from SCRATCH just to surprise him (there's no reason beyond that - just an incredibly sweet and thoughtful gesture) and replicated popcorn for him to eat while he watches and Tom says "They didn't have remote controls in the 50's ♥ Also where's my beer?" I contemplate murder ESPECIALLY because B'Elanna responds cheerfully to it - GIRL!!! LEAVE HIM!!!!!! IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE CHARMING IN THIS SCENE????
#AND THEN SHE TRIES TO TELL HIM ABOUT HER DAY AND HE DOESN'T EVEN LISTEN TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#-KILLINGHIM-#also a line that always makes me smile is in the mess hall scene#a group of crewmen enter all laughing and one person says 'that's the best joke I've ever heard!' it's so on the nose and I love it#also I LOOOVE the scene with Neelix Chakotay Tom and Harry all bouncing off each other in the briefing room#AND HARRY GETS TO SHIIINE~!!!!#anyway Tom is a shitty enough partner he does NOT need violent war ptsd#ALSO!!! Seven & Neelix are a severely underrated friendship they're really sweet to each other#'Memorial' is a really good episode I love the sci-fi concept and the intensity from everyone <3#Chakotay's dry: 'Fascinating.'#I also love Neelix's resistance to turning off the memorial - it fits so well with his character (and backstory)#and I love the tried and true 'every alien planet is just some park <3'#I forgot Janeway made them recharge the insta-ptsd memorial and was gonna be like WHAT???? WILD CHOICE MA'AM#but then she put a content warning in space and I waslike OK...ok!! That I can accept v_v hehehe#I 100% understand both sides of the 'do we leave it on or turn it off?' debate bc it DOES instantly give you debilitating war ptsd#so it's not like it's a heartless or un-empathetic choice to want to turn it off - I think Janeway's solution is the best of both worlds#I am interested in how being spontaneously afflicted with severe ptsd-causing memories of brutally murdering almost a hundred people would#mm....affect almost the entire crew (I say 'almost' bc it doesn't seem like it was EVERYONE: Naomi - Seven - and Tuvok are all fine for#example)#like what if someone (and this is dark but in a real-world way a real concern) kills themself because of that guilt??#what if the ship gets in a battle and around half the crew starts experiencing flashbacks??#Again - Voyager not having a counselor/therapist is HORRIFIC
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staring down this wip doc like I'm the county sheriff and this town ain't big enough for the both of us
#the problem is. the concept really compels me. I think theoretically this idea could bang.#but it may just be too intense for me to actually pull off#it feels as though a muse meant to send this to a stronger writer than I but accidentally beamed it at me in a moment of confusion#hmm. maybe the solution is to take the pov out of limited third and make it more like an objective camera in the room?#more like watching a play and less like being in someone's head. hmmmm. much to consider.#marina marvels at life
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i have moved!!!
#i made it!!!#thankfully and finally#no longer in the apartment that was the manifestation of a year long depressive episode (slay)#i even managed to sneak off to pride on saturday too :'^)#now that ive moved ive got the labor intensive task of reorganizing my entire life and getting all the little storage solutions i need :'''#new dresser and bed frame too lol#new mattress is comfy#i cannot remember who recommended the brand silk and snow for that but i went with their hybrid and it is (so far) LOVELY!!#i still feel out of sorts and disorganized but#slowly but surely#we r getting there gamers#lore loops
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the urge to talk about OCs unfiltered superseded by various degrees of shame and the overwhelming internal voice of booooo be quiet (throws tomato)
#_text#I’m working through this a little better but it’s a lot of baby steps. I think a potential solution I want to try#is to post more thoughts in tags because I feel comfortable expressing more rambles there like. there is a limit but#at least people kind of. see it less. it just feels a bit less embarrassing? and I mean people can still filter out this stuff#ive been primarily thinking about my own characters intertwined with canon but it just feels selfish and weird to talk about#talking about canon has more general appeal for others and they can approach and take what they want from it#but I still want to talk about some of my things cus I’m passionate about it. and I’m the only one who well. CAN talk about it#I can’t rely or expect prompting for discussion. I have to make it myself especially when I’m too anxious to approach people#and I know some people do want to see some things from me and I do want to share them. it’s just getting past myself making weird blockades#I just can’t help but feel intense shame when it’s like oh here canon thought.. but connects it back to zero. like. ah!#I can’t and won’t change who I am or how I feel but trying to readjust myself to more readily share my ideas is a bit tough sometimes#I’ll probably remove this later cus I’m sure this is just one of many temporary periods of doubt. I enjoy what I do at the end of the day#and everyone’s very kind support and thoughts give me the confidence to keep going and trying at the very least#those past few asks in particular especially helped. and my friends as always#anyway. thank you for reading. just needed to get this outta my freaking brain !
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taking 15$ chibi comms!!! I'm in a bit of a tight spot and need to afford my chronic pain meds so I'll be taking commissions for now www
It's a fullbody, fully shaded chibi as seen in examples. DM me if you're interested! reblogs well appreciated
#my art#art commisions#art comms open#i know i dont do this often but well desperate times require intense solutions i suppose???
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It is fun and interesting when even heroes do bad things or do bad things with good intentions because it makes them more human and psychologically complex and makes more story happen. I'll never understand members of the audience who want to live in moral paradise where nothing ever goes wrong and only evil people ever do the wrong thing and once you kill all the evil people evil stops existing and to ever dare insinuate heroes could do wrong is blasphemy and "shifting the blame". I'm not playing that game. It's not about which character has the mandate of heaven.
I just don't get it and I will never get it. Is it fear? Is it a desire for absolute simplicity? Is it my fantasy bristling against theirs? Is it the inability to win an online argument about your character being the most moral and pure in the whole world? Because it seems to me it often comes down to "xyz villain is more evil, stop coping" which is like... okay... if you have a flat view of storytelling, sure (oh God, I used to get into so many arguments about daring to compare Cinder-Pyrrha and Jaune-Penny). Of course, the most fun thing about I/ronwood's character arc is that is exactly his whole deal in relation to Salem, and exactly how he justifies what he does, which is kind of ironic in how people miss the point. But I wasn't even vagueing about him in the first place! I just remembered why I love R/WBY because this is an actual idea explored in the story. I love storytelling.
#one of those posts that got away from me#this isn't even redemption arcs hour this is just plain heroes being a little naughty...#and this is why jaune is my favourite of the heroes... ruby is up there though I'm not quite as intensely obsessed#my reading of i/ronwood is that right up until that very last conversation with winter pre-betrayal#it was possible for him to turn it around#only he would have to sacrifice his authority; and even as a hero he revelled in that (which was not bad but exciting when he lorded it ove#jacques)#but also like look at this way: the eternal locked conflict of ozlem is crazy. wouldn't you do everything you could to stop it#it's not in want of escaping loneliness. he had winter and penny; they just weren't his peers - and he never respected qrow enough#they're too ideologically at odds even though ironically qrow is the most enduring of his team lol#and then there's that element that I think i/ronwood finally could revel in giving himself ultimate authority he had tried to deny himself#or to justify; and ultimately ozpin hadn't stopped salem. a new solution is needed#and he's right! that's the awesome thing!#in every way the most exhilarating thing about i/ronwood's fall is that in so many ways it perfectly mirrors cinder's one-day “rise”#if i/ronwood had a love interest I just know...
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i am a person who believes that a "good therapist" can be a meaningful part of someone's efforts toward wellbeing, but it's occurring to me that i feel like a lot of people simply don't know what to look for in a therapist, and don't feel comfortable talking about their relationship to their therapist.
i feel like the way that therapy is commonly treated as a "quarantine" of emotionality means that a lot of people are hesitant to reflect on and discuss interactions with their therapist to trusted outside parties. (of course, sometimes we seek therapy because we have no trusted outside parties). and there is a societal assumption that therapeutic authority is well-earned, which doesn't necessarily align with reality.
but i guess i'm wondering if it wouldn't be helpful to just... talk a lot more, blab about your experiences with your therapist. complain more about uncomfortable interactions and figure out if it's something you can set a boundary over or if it's a dealbreaker. for people who actually feel helped by their therapists to explain what's so good about them.
like compared to the friends and mentors that comprise our support networks, there are so few social consequences for discussing our emotional responses To therapy, because they're not a person woven into the fabric of your social sphere. they're removed from it, intentionally. so i feel like we should really take advantage of that to loudly talk about What theyre telling us and How it makes us feel.
(my partner says one of the things about psychoanalysis that they prefer over conventional therapy is that it's understood that you might feel various ways about your analyst, and you aren't expected to have this... neutral-pleasant relationship. it's understood as an emotionally involved relationship with two parties who have their own biases. without analysis experience myself i can't speak to how that shows up in practice, but i think it's a compelling angle)
i guess i feel like a lot of the everyday posts about therapy are either quite personal and limited in scope, or really general trends, or zoomed-out posts on therapy as a theory and practice. perhaps i sense a gap in personal anecdotes that center emotional experience while providing some guidance in ways to move forward. maybe im just not following the right people but i guess i think it's a societal trend that could be changed
#the opinion haver#indexed post#sorry im extremely tired i think this might be phrased loosely/not argued very well#it just crosses my mind because i feel like i know a lot of people who have#intense personal insight into their psyches#who have gone through the ringer of mediocre to bad therapists#and i wish i could distill what ive experienced and learned into things that could help people#but i also dont want to hit people over the head with it. i think the biggest thing is that we need to decenter therapy as#a singular 'solution' and start seeing it as a potential avenue of support with great pros and awful cons
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Making my own post because now capitalism is just revolving in my brain and I want to respond, but I've intruded more than enough. ^^"
I do think capitalism can be solved, and history actually gives me hope because it shows the fundamental need of society. Humans aren't inherently greedy or cruel. The greed and the cruelty are symptoms of a long-standing human need to make things better than they were before: to live comfortably, and without fear.
Capitalism is merely the current expression of this need that we live in.
Solving the need is absolutely possible by establishing a baseline standard of living and resource allotment. And that's comparable to an amount of 'work' that we deem acceptable in our daily lives. Because if you think about it, making coffee every morning with a Keurig gets you a similar product to making coffee every morning with a hand grinder and cold press: one just takes more resources and time than the other.
However, this needs to be flexible because humans are individuals with different needs, and the premise is also questionable because who's setting this baseline anyway?
I personally think it has more to do with government setting a cap on resource imports. (I think it should be stronger than tariffs, personally. Just a hard cap for the year.)
You can't really control demand. That's what most socialists do, and it always fails because humans fundamentally want to make their lives easier. But you can control resource management. If the government says we can only import 20 tons of cotton this year, and we produce 80 tons of cotton, so companies get 100 tons of cotton to do whatever with, and that's it. If we want more cotton, we have to axe some other import.
It 1) makes management visual. 2) gives citizens a personal reason to be invested in their government. 3) will not allocate resources fairly, but will show the true value of a product for the region it's in and prioritize local resources [i.e. if your country does not produce garnets, garnets will be more expensive than gold]. 4) increases jobs since there's far less incentive to outsource work, overall decreasing inequality. 5) encourages a circular economy.
In which case, I suppose I'm for some form of socialist autarky and I think that would solve a decent number of capitalist problems. Companies could no longer overrun workers and there's individual choice behind jobs, work, and some form of style of living.
It IS bad in like- fifty million other ways though. You can't just go from a country used to living in a capitalist society to imposing tariffs and screaming about autarky. Natural resources WILL be destroyed on your own soil and the biggest nation will have the highest quality of living. Imports have to be on a factor of population growth and this might only be possible with nations for a declining population rate. If at all. You also have to add a judicial angle for the people who will inevitably try to take over that system. And, most of all, you have to commit to not going to fucking war over state expansion for resources. Looking at you, Russia.
So I suppose we COULD solve capitalism, at the expense of a whole lot of other problems that are equally meh-to-bad.
Governments are fundamentally resource management machines though, and it's really stupid to pretend they aren't. With resource management, comes capping the fuck out of companies (specialists) that abuse the system (monopolies/oligarchies). When a government doesn't do that (whatever the method), it's failed its purpose as a government and also needs to be put down (revolution).
#Walking through this in my head and it's actually a bit bleaker than I thought. That is fundamentally the solution though. If you#had an autarky (with copious imports) you /can/ balance that budget but EVERYONE on the fucking planet has to be committed.#Otherwise you're just back to the Bronze Age. Rinse and repeat.#But I think there is hope because technology DOES upset that cycle. Tech DOES mean we can recycle resources more efficiently#than ever before and use nuclear/solar/wind power that doesn't necessitate human intervention. If we prioritize energy into regrowth#rather than production I think we could see substantial change into a circular economy that would shift the cycle of resource boom and bust#My dream is to run a hydrometallurgical plant on a fault line for the production of base and precious metals.#Low yield but not energy intensive and no damage to the environment.#ptxt#jesus christ alright I've thought enough about resources. xD Time to go write the Liztlie AU.#... I'm just kind of dwelling on all the problems with autarky now.
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Wow I have an odd amount of energy and feel indefinitely understimulated I sure wonder what I should do to fix this. Slow head turn towards the camera
#okay i dont have a proper actual solution but i have an idea of a subject. read the word subject in an intense lowering tone. for effects.#just waiting for my chromebook to charge..... ans i thinkk it should be good by now....#im not even gonna tag him. i can vague post about him.#If. it isnt clear who im speaking of.#OH I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO. I mean ANOTHER thing i could do for a few seconds at least. opens up mission ten.
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that mantis one is the most shittiest thing i could have ever drawn on paper
#(art)hesia#arthesias ocs#rhymix: artwork#you remember now: saint or sinner (oc)#butterflies tear people apart: pupa (oc)#splashes of pink (does it belong to you?): mantis (oc)#temptation?: aleph 0 (oc)#ship tag: a thorough solution to an intense situation#<- implied if you just. squint#elemental pieces forming together: primeval texture (oc)#<- best girl <333333#oc#ocs#oc art#art#traditional art
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okay okay I gotta stop saying I gotta do this and actually do this
gotta, idk... set gaming alarms or smth... so weird that I just don't get bored!!!
#okay I'm being a little unnecessarily critical here#given that this is all brand new to me#and also i HAVE been doing stuff; both in gen and in regards to#trying to pull myself out of my intensely focused gaming sessions ahkrdbh#there's just a lot to figure out that's all very new and unfamiliar#i still find it interesting how much i apparently - and sensibly! - relied on my boredom#as a way of stopping things i enjoyed but was no longer enjoying#and that habit is still there but waiting for the boredom to kick in when it Just Doesn't#makes for an... ineffective solution 😂#why did i add a whole paragraph in the tags
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,
#monolawg#was trying to make myself feel better recently by thinking about how#there's a very popular furry artist ive had several mutuals rave over#whose art i think is straight up Sexless. too smooth and boringly attractive#so its fine if i think my art is sexless bc others seem to like it#but its not workinggg....i hate it so much idk how ppl find anything i draw hot#its an anatomical drawing. like in a medical textbook. sexless in the other direction#feeling bad w comms rn.#also while im here im struggling bc i once saw advice that said not to focus on things you DONT LIKE wrt art#bc thats too negative. so instead of saying ''i dont want my art to look like x'' you say ''i want my art to look like y''#and idk. nothing inspires me so intensely bc im not creative#so im just hung up on how i dont want it to look. with no solution or escape. just self hatred. alas...#i dont want it to look like this...#AND FINALLY#my theory as to why i hate my furry art is#ppl put out epic human art that inspires me daily#and i take and steal and frankenstein it into my own#but 95% of furries copy that one same style and theres less inspiration#so im going off of Nothing im jst going off Myself which i Hate.
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Me when I've been left alone with my thoughts at work and none of my friends are responding to my messages for more than five seconds: I have GOT to kill myself. I need to set myself on fire. My MAIN goal. Is to BLOW UP. And take everyone else in this building down with me. Ahahahah
#I am very well#I just hate being at work#And at least when my besties are talking with me#I can pretend I'm not at work#For at least the slightest of moments#But then they go do something else#Because they have their own lives#and suddenly it's just me and the horrors#And I'm forced back into the reality that I'm here. Sitting at my desk. Working my job.#And I feel the intense need to end my own life to escape it.#I KNOW that's not the solution and of course I'm not going to do it#But dear god do I wish I could leave this place
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me pulling out a whiteboard: okay so here's how us sparrow apologists can still win-
#cal rambles#dndads spoilers#OK BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH#at some point Hero's training stopped and they stopped going as hard on her right.#like she would NOT have the time to have a part time pizza job and a NASA internship and be a weeb and a gamer if that was not the case#and i genuinely believe at one point Sparrow realized this was not what she wanted and backed off#leading to the kiddads focusing more on finding a solution themselves instead of involving Hero#OKAY thats my thought process#also think Lark was the main one training her tbh#like Hero's relationship with her three parental figures are all strained#and im not saying what they did was RIGHT or that it makes up for it#but like. Somehow at some point Hero was set free of her duties and someone had to be the one to let her go#and I dont think its Lark 'gets really intense about killing the Doodler' Oak#ALSO SOMETHINGS UP WITH REBECCA
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I got so unhinged about supernatural i've been actually working on Virtual Ground because I have a perfectly good messed up pair of freaks from the early 2000s who don't get along and holy shit I want to tell that story
#the solution was to just turn this shit into a slightly watered down monster of the week#and boom suddenly its something i can draw#without being too large and scary to tackle#it was there all along thank you x files and supernatural#shy talks#not art#im here for the slow burn dysfunctional partnership that turns into intense trusting friendship
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my mental health has been so funny lol, so many things going on and feeling insane about this girl (who isn't even related to me!!!) isn't exactly helping.
#surely staying up and feeling weird is the solution#ugh it's just I'm so .... fucking gay for her to be really blunt about it and she's really nice and obviously likes me back#but she's so hard to read sometimes and I'm always scared of upsetting her or something or saying something weird#or that I'm being overly familiar#and we talk like all the fucking time like all day and i feel weird when we're not talking#and that's so obviously just blatant normal crushing but it's so much more intense than usual#and the worst thing is i know I'm such a shit person to date and i keep having such weird relationships with people#and being so insane and being plural doesn't help and it's just messy and weird and i sorta Just would like to hug her and talk about it#but she lives in another country so oh well!#sorry i am having some thoughts lol also my brother isn't here T-T
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