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#Is a feeling that I think it's universal among women
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You don't get it. The point is that HE SEES HER!
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Nobody else did. Not even her closest friend. No one. But the d(o)rk lord does. He looks at her and he sees an equal. Someone as strong as him, as powerful as him, as smart as him.
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And she likes it! She likes the feeling of BEING SEEN!
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astrxq · 2 months
Note
I watched Damsel with Millie Bobby Brown, and I was thinking it would make a great Jace x reader story, if you're taking requests. Something like him being the prince who has to fake a wedding and then offer her as a sacrifice on the mountain to the dragon, but ends up falling in love and decides to rescue her. Or maybe he is the dragon that is cursed, and would only return to human form if he found his soulmate, in this case the sacrifices (the girls were thrown into the dragon's pit) because otherwise he would burn down the city, just like in the film. - 💜
The Dragon's Bride
jacaerys velaryon x fem!reader
words: 17k (oops?)
notes/warnings: non-canon events, description of blood/cuts (blood oath), religious guilt (jacaerys), kissing, angst??, slight ooc jacaerys and rhaenyra, mentions of death, animal death, jace's council SUCKS!!!
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The weight of duty had never felt heavier on Prince Jacaerys’ shoulders as he stood before the ancient weirwood tree in the godswood of the Red Keep. The face carved into the trunk seemed to watch him with knowing eyes, judging his every thought and action.
Jacaerys ran a hand through his long-curly hair, and took a deep breath. The task before him was one he had dreaded since childhood, a burden passed down through generations of his family. As the heir to the Iron Throne, it fell to him to carry out this grim duty.
“My prince,” a voice called from behind him. Jacaerys turned to see one of the maesters approaching, his chain clinking softly with each step. The old man's face was etched with concern. “The Small Council awaits your presence. It is time to begin the selection process.”
Jacaerys nodded, his eyes clouded with resignation. “I'll be there shortly.”
As the maester retreated, Jacaerys cast one last glance at the heart tree. “Give me strength,” he whispered, though he wasn't sure if he was addressing the old gods, the new, or simply the universe itself.
The walk to the Small Council chamber felt like a march to his own execution. Each step echoed through the stone corridors, a countdown to a fate he couldn't escape. When he reached the ornate doors, he paused, steeling himself for what was to come. With a deep breath, he pushed them open and entered, two soldiers walking behind him.
The room fell silent as Jacaerys took his seat at the table.
Queen Rhaenyra spoke first, her voice steady. “My son, The dragon of Dragonstone grows restless,”
Jacaerys nodded, his throat tight. Still silent.
Ser Alfred leaned forward, his eyes sharp. “The tradition is clear, Your Grace. Prince Jacaerys must choose a lady from among the noble houses of Westeros. He will wed her in a ceremonial marriage, and then...” He trailed off, the unspoken fate hanging heavy in the air.
“And then I must take her to the dragon,” Jacaerys finished. 
Lord Corlys, ever the pragmatist, spread a collection of scrolls on the table. “We have compiled a list of suitable candidates from houses loyal to the crown. Each lady comes from a family of impeccable lineage and has been deemed worthy of this... honor.”
As Jacaerys looked at the names before him, he couldn't help but feel a wave of nausea. Each name came with a charcoal drawing of the girls. These were not just names on parchment; they were living, breathing young women, each with hopes and dreams of their own. And he was to choose one to condemn to a terrible fate.
“May I have some time to consider?” he asked, his eyes meeting his mother's.
Queen Rhaenyra hesitated. She nodded, her expression softening slightly. “Of course.”
As the council members filed out of the room, Jacaerys remained seated, staring at the scrolls before him. The weight of his task pressed down on him, threatening to crush his spirit entirely.
Jacaerys stared at the scrolls spread before him, each one bearing the name and likeness of a young woman whose fate now rested in his hands. The charcoal drawings seemed to come alive under his gaze, eyes filled with hope and innocence that he would soon extinguish. His fingers trembled as he reached for the first scroll.
Jacaerys felt his breath coming faster, his heart pounding in his chest. One by one, Jacaerys examined the scrolls, each lady's face burning itself into his memory. 
As the hours wore on, the faces began to blur together, a parade of innocent lives that he was tasked with judging. Who among them deserved this fate? How could he possibly make such a choice?
Jacaerys stood abruptly, pacing the length of the chamber. He ran his hands through his curly hair, tugging at the strands in frustration. The weight of his duty pressed down on him, threatening to suffocate him where he stood.
A knock at the door startled him from his thoughts. “Enter,” he called, his voice hoarse from disuse.
A servant girl entered, carrying a tray with bread, cheese, and wine. “Begging your pardon, Your Grace,” she said, bobbing a curtsy. “The Queen thought you might need sustenance.”
Jacaerys nodded absently, gesturing for her to set the tray on a side table. As she turned to leave, he caught sight of her face – young, perhaps a few years younger than himself.
“Wait,” he said, causing the girl to pause at the door, worried. “What is your name?”
She turned, surprise evident on her face. “Myra, Your Grace.”
“Myra,” he repeated, studying her. “Tell me, Myra, if you had to choose someone to... to face a great danger, how would you decide?”
The servant girl's eyes widened, clearly taken aback by the question. She fidgeted with her apron, considering her words carefully. “I... I suppose I would choose someone brave, Your Grace.”
Jacaerys nodded slowly. “And if all the choices seemed equally brave?”
Myra bit her lip, then said softly, “Then perhaps... the kindest one, Your Grace.”
With those words, she curtsied again and slipped out of the room, leaving Jacaerys alone with his thoughts once more.
He returned to the table, looking at the scrolls with fresh eyes. Brave and kind – could he discern those qualities from these brief descriptions and charcoal portraits?
As he sifted through the scrolls again, one caught his eye. He had overlooked it before, distracted by the more prominent houses. But now, something about it called to him.
Your name was written at the top in elegant script, followed by a brief description of your house and accomplishments. But it was the portrait that held his attention. The artist had captured a certain light in your eyes, a hint of a smile that spoke of warmth and courage.
Jacaerys found himself reading your description more closely. You were not from one of the great houses, but your lineage was respectable. What stood out were the small details – your love of books, your kindness to those less fortunate, the way you had once stood up to a local threat to protect a younger child.
He closed his eyes, trying to imagine you facing the dragon. In his mind's eye, he saw you standing tall, afraid but unbroken. He saw kindness in your gaze, even in the face of such terror.
Opening his eyes, Jacaerys looked at the other scrolls once more. Each lady was worthy in her own right, each life precious. But something about you called to him, a feeling he couldn't quite explain.
With a heavy heart, knowing the fate he was condemning you to, Jacaerys set your scroll aside. He had made his choice.
As dawn broke over King's Landing, painting the sky in hues of pink and gold, Jacaerys stood once more before the heart tree in the godswood. He pressed his palm against the rough bark, feeling the ancient power thrumming beneath.
“I've chosen,” he whispered to the carved face. “Gods help me, I've chosen.”
Jacaerys had never been one for prayer, nor had he put much stock in the gods, old or new. As a prince of the realm, his education had focused on matters of state, the intricacies of court politics, and the art of war. Faith had always seemed like an afterthought to him, a crutch for the weak. But as the time for this grim tradition approached, he found himself drawn to the godswood more and more frequently, seeking solace in the ancient silence of the heart tree.
The sound of a throat clearing shook him out of his thoughts, the same maester who had long-ago taught him to translate High Valyrian stood with his arms to his sides. “Emagon ao reached iā decision, ñuha dārilaros?” [Have you reached a decision, my prince?]
Jacaerys’ brows furrowed in deep contemplation. 
“Eman,” [I have,] Jacaerys finally spoke, his voice carrying the weight of his decision. He glanced once more at the ancient weirwood, as if seeking guidance from the silent face carved into its trunk. “Prepare iā vōljes.” [Prepare a raven.]
The maester nodded solemnly. “To whom shall I send it, Your Grace?”
Without another word, Jacaerys reached for his pocket, pulling out the folded scroll with your name on it. He stared at it for a few seconds before, with an attempt of a steady hand, he handed it over.
The news of Prince Jacaerys' choice spread through the Red Keep like wildfire. Whispers filled the corridors, a mix of curiosity and pity for the unknown girl who had been selected for this “honor.” In the days that followed, preparations began in earnest for your arrival and the ceremonial wedding that would precede the grim journey to Dragonstone.
Jacaerys found himself both dreading and anticipating your arrival. He had made his choice, but the reality of what that meant hadn't fully sunk in yet. As he went about his daily duties, he couldn't shake the image of your portrait from his mind – the light in your eyes, the hint of a smile that had drawn him to you.
Every time he’d walk the halls, silence would follow, awkward stares from the staff and sometimes a hushed whisper that he’d pretend not to hear. 
“Can you imagine? Poor thing, chosen to face the dragon,” he overheard once, making him clench his fists in frustration. “She's just a girl, freshly two tens of age.” another voice murmured sympathetically, but it offered him little comfort.
Despite the weight of duty pressing down on him, Jacaerys couldn't bring himself to discard the drawing. Instead, he kept it close, hidden away in a drawer beside his bed. Every night before he slept, he would retrieve it and stare at your likeness by the dim light of a candle. It wasn't a gesture of admiration or affection, but rather a self-imposed penance, a reminder of the destiny he had sealed for you.
In the quiet moments of the night, when the castle slept and he was alone with his thoughts, Jacaerys would silently plead to the gods. He didn't kneel before the heart tree anymore; he didn't utter formal prayers. Instead, his appeals were whispered in the darkness of his chamber, words of regret and sorrow that mingled with the flickering candlelight.
“Istin sagon punished isse ōdres syt se rest hen ñuha tubissa, syt eman ōdrikagon iā innocent.” [I must be punished in pain for the rest of my days, for i have hurt an innocent]
The court continued its whispered discussions about the impending ceremony, but Jacaerys withdrew further into himself. He attended council meetings and performed his princely duties with a stoic demeanor, hiding the turmoil that churned beneath the surface. There were moments when he almost reconsidered, when he almost resolved to defy tradition and spare you this fate. But each time, the weight of his lineage and the expectations of his people bore down upon him, forcing him back into the role he was destined to play.
The night before you were set to arrive, Jacaerys couldn't sleep. He paced his chambers, his mind racing with thoughts of what was to come. As the first light of dawn began to creep through his windows, he’d realized he hadn’t had a blink of sleep.
He stood at the window of his chambers, watching the sun rise over King's Landing. The city was already stirring, unaware of the personal turmoil of its future king. As he gazed out at the sprawling streets and towering buildings, Jacaerys couldn't help but notice the big blob of citizens, all awaiting at the stair’s entrance of the Keep, 
A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. “Enter,” he called, turning from the window.
A servant stepped into the room, bowing deeply. “Your Grace,” she said softly, “the Lady has arrived.”
Jacaerys nodded, his heart sinking at the news. The moment he had been dreading was finally here. He turned back to the window, taking one last look at the city before steeling himself for what lay ahead.
“Thank you,” he said to the servant, his voice steady despite the turmoil within. “I will be down shortly.”
As the heavy door closed behind her, echoing through the halls, Jacaerys took a deep breath, his mind racing. Finally, with a last, steadying breath, Jacaerys left his chambers and made his way down to the courtyard. The walk felt like a dream, each step echoing in the silent corridors of the Red Keep. Servants and guards stepped aside as he passed, their eyes filled with a mixture of respect and pity.
As he approached the grand entrance, he could hear the murmurs of the crowd outside. The people of King's Landing had gathered to witness the arrival of the chosen lady, their curiosity palpable in the air. Jacaerys squared his shoulders, bracing himself for the spectacle that awaited, his mother’s hand on his shoulder as a small-support for him. 
As Jacaerys stepped out into the courtyard, the murmur of the crowd hushed to a reverent silence. Nobles and commoners alike pressed forward, eager to catch a glimpse of the prince and his chosen bride.
Jacaerys felt his breath catch in his throat as he laid eyes on you for the first time.
You were even more striking in person than your portrait had suggested. Your eyes, bright and intelligent, scanned the crowd before settling on Jacaerys. 
Prince Jacaerys was beautiful, his long curly hair framing his face, his eyes intense as they met yours. You couldn't help but notice the dark circles under those eyes, the weariness that seemed to hang about him like a cloak.
Jacaerys descended the steps slowly, each movement deliberate and controlled. As he approached, you sank into a deep curtsy, your gaze lowering respectfully. “Your Grace,” you said, your voice steady despite the enormity of the moment. “I am honored by our betrothal.”
For a moment, Jacaerys found himself at a loss for words. He turned to look at his mother with a confused look on his face. You didn’t know? The Queen shook her head at him, so lightly that only he could notice. 
He reached out, gently taking your hand and helping you to your feet.
“My lady,” he said softly, loud enough for you to hear but not for the eager crowd. 
The murmurs of the crowd faded into the background as Jacaerys led you through the courtyard, his mother Queen Rhaenyra by his side and your family next to yours. 
“Your Grace,” Jacaerys whispered, eyeing his mother. “I was not told that my betrothed didn’t know of the… arrangement.”
Queen Rhaenyra's gaze softened as she walked beside Jacaerys and you, the procession moving towards the Great Hall where the formalities would take place. Her voice was low, meant only for her son's ears amidst the murmurs of the courtiers and the lingering hush of the crowd.
“My son, there are matters of tradition that sometimes defy explanation,” she began, her tone tinged with empathy. “It is the way of our world, and you know as well as I do the weight of duty that rests upon us.”
Jacaerys glanced at his mother, a mixture of frustration and sorrow flickering in his eyes. “But she should have been informed,” he murmured quietly, his grip tightening subtly on your hand. You didn’t pay it any mind, as you were occupied speaking to your father, who reminded you – once again – of your duty to bring the Prince a babe to be the heir to his throne.
“I understand not telling the common folk, but, her?” He hushedly spat out, almost glaring at his mother, “She is to be fed to a dragon.”
Queen Rhaenyra sighed softly, her gaze turning ahead as they approached the Great Hall's grand entrance. “She will come to understand her role in time, Jacaerys. As will you,” she replied, her voice tinged with a hint of regret at the sight of her son’s worry.
He stole glances at you, trying to gauge your feelings, silently hoping that somehow, you might find a way to forgive the circumstances that had brought you both here. Once you sat at the Small Council table, ready to speak of the marriage that would take place in merely a few weeks, the room fell silent. You glanced around nervously, acutely aware of the attention shifting towards you and the Prince that sat straight by your side.
“My daughter knows her duty,” Your father started, making one of the maesters clear his throat in discomfort, Jacaerys glared at the old man. “She is healthy, and able to bring a babe to the world.”
You nodded, trying to hide the tremble in your hands. 
Jacaerys turned his head to look at you, your furrowed brows as you listened to his mother explain how the ceremony of your wedding was going to play off. He clenched his fists on the table, trying to hide his overwhelmedness by taking a long sip out of his wine. 
The meeting was a blur for Jacaerys, his mind not allowing him to pay attention to any of the preparations, all he could think about was the innocent look on your face, unknowing of your fate, and the stern look of his own Council, awaiting for the day to come. 
Eventually, after having had enough of listening to your families’ planning, he stood. “Excuse me,” he voiced, offering his hand for you to take as the room fell silent. “Me and my betrothed will leave you to it, we will walk together.”
You glanced around nervously, uncertain of the proper protocol, but your father nodded in approval, prompting you to take Jacaerys' hand. His hand was cold, he rushed the two of you out of the room and out to the gardens, he didn’t speak until you stepped out of the Keep.
“You know,” he began, breaking the silence, “I used to spend a lot of time here as a child. My mother would bring me to the gardens to escape the formality of court. It was my sanctuary.”
You listened intently, intrigued. “It's beautiful,” you replied softly, glancing around at the serene landscape. “I can see why.”
“I apologize for the abruptness back there,” he began, his voice soft but tinged with a hint of urgency. “It's... overwhelming, all of this. I wanted to give us a moment away from all the... planning and discussions.”
You glanced at him, noticing the tension in his jawline, the weight that seemed to press down on his broad shoulders. His gaze was distant, as if wrestling with thoughts beyond the present moment.
“I... I wanted to ask how you are,” he continued, his tone tentative. “This must all be quite... unexpected for you.”
“It is... a lot to take in,” you admitted quietly, choosing your words with care. “But it is an honor to marry the Prince.”
Jacaerys nodded, though his expression remained troubled. He attempted to push down the burning feeling in his stomach, the guilt eating at him. 
Silence fell between you for a moment, the distant sound of birdsong and the gentle rustle of leaves providing a backdrop to your conversation. Jacaerys seemed to gather his thoughts before speaking again.
“What do you enjoy doing?” he asked suddenly, his curiosity genuine. “Aside from the obvious duties and expectations... What brings you joy?”
The question caught you off guard, but you appreciated the chance to speak of something beyond the weight of your impending marriage. “I love books,” you confessed with a small smile. “I used to sneak away to a small library in our keep,” you confided, a hint of nostalgia in your voice. “It was quiet, away from the noise of daily life. I could lose myself in the pages for hours.”
He almost sighed when he saw a small smile creeping on your face as you spoke of your memories. “That sounds wonderful,” he said softly, his voice tinged with melancholy. “I... I hope you'll find some comfort in the library here, during your stay.”
You nodded, grateful for his consideration. “I look forward to exploring it. Do you have any favorite books or subjects, Your Grace?”
Jacaerys seemed to relax a bit at the change of topic. “Please, when we're alone like this, call me Jacaerys,” he said with a small smile. “And yes, I've always been fascinated by the histories of Old Valyria. The tales of dragons and ancient magic... they're quite captivating.”
“Jacaerys,” you repeated, testing the name on your lips. “I'd love to hear more about that. We don't have many books on Valyria where I'm from.”
He brightened a bit. “Really? Well, there's this one volume about the Doom that's particularly interesting. It theorizes about what might have caused it.”
As you walked, Jacaerys began to explain some of the theories, his hands moving animatedly as he spoke. He aimlessly walked you to the library, you followed his steps as he spoke. You couldn’t help but notice the looks the servants gave you, almost pitiful, as you walked past them. 
Some whispered, covering their mouths with their hand so it would stay a secret. Jacaerys didn’t pay it any mind, his hand moving to lock both of your index fingers as he kept spitting out everything he’d learned about the Doom’s theories. 
As you entered the grand library, your eyes widened in awe. Shelves upon shelves of books stretched as far as you could see, their spines glinting in the soft light filtering through high windows.
Jacaerys watched your reaction with a small smile. “Impressive, isn't it? I thought you might appreciate it.”
You nodded, still taking in the sight. “It's magnificent. I could spend years here and never read everything.”
Jacaerys led you deeper into the library, his fingers still lightly entwined with yours. “Let me show you some of my favorite sections,” he said, guiding you through the towering stacks.
As you walked, Jacaerys pointed out various tomes and scrolls, explaining their significance. His enthusiasm was infectious, and you found yourself relaxing, asking questions and sharing your own thoughts.
“Here,” Jacaerys said, pulling a large, leather-bound volume from a shelf. “This is the book on the Doom of Valyria I mentioned. Would you like to look at it together?”
You nodded eagerly, and Jacaerys led you to a nearby reading nook. As you sat side by side, heads bent over the ancient text, the weight of your circumstances seemed to lift momentarily. For a little while, you were just two people sharing a passion for knowledge and history.
You recognized High Valyrian words you’d learned here and there, but were grateful that Jacaerys patiently explained the meaning of each passage aloud. 
“Se sīr īles foretold ondoso se scribes hen Valyria bona se vējes would māzigon bē īlva, heralded ondoso iā rōvēgrie shaking hen tegon se iā sȳndror bona would swallow se vēzos.” [And so it was foretold by the scribes of Valyria that the Doom would come upon us, heralded by a great shaking of the earth and a darkness that would swallow the sun.] 
His voice resonated softly in the library's hallowed silence, you’d noticed his tense demeanor from hours earlier had eased into a more relaxed and gentle attitude.
As the families concluded their meeting in the Great Hall, the formalities of the betrothal were settled. You were to remain at the Red Keep under the watchful eye of Queen Rhaenyra and her court, preparing for the ceremonial wedding that would precede the journey to Dragonstone. Jacaerys escorted you back to your temporary chambers, a solemn air hanging between you.
Inside the quiet sanctum of your quarters, away from prying eyes, Jacaerys finally allowed his guard to drop. He paced restlessly, his fingers running through his hair in frustration. “I'm sorry,” he blurted out suddenly, his voice thick with emotion. “I don’t want you to miss your home.”
You watched Jacaerys with concern, his sudden outburst catching you off guard. “Your Gr- Jacaerys,” you corrected yourself, remembering his earlier request. “It's alright. I knew when I was chosen that I would have to leave my home behind. It's part of my duty.”
He looked like he wanted to push the conversation, to speak his mind, but he simply shut his mouth and nodded once. “Very well.”
An awkward silence fell between you. There was clearly something unsaid hanging in the air, but neither of you seemed willing or able to address it directly.
Finally, Jacaerys cleared his throat. “I should let you rest. It's been a long day, and I'm sure you'd like some time to settle in.” He moved towards the door, then paused, turning back to you. “If you need anything, anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask. I want you to feel at home here.”
That night, Jacaerys found himself staring at the canopy above his bed, unable to find solace in sleep once again. The events of the day weighed heavily on his mind, particularly the encounter with you, the chosen lady whose fate he now bore responsibility for. He tossed and turned, unable to shake the image of your face – bright, hopeful, and utterly unaware of the doom that awaited you.
He sat up abruptly, running his hands through his hair in frustration. “Gods, forgive me,” he whispered into the stillness of the night. He repeated what he did each night, the only sounds in the room being his own whispers. 
As Jacaerys whispered his nightly plea for forgiveness, the weight of his decision pressed down on him more heavily than ever before. Meeting you in person, seeing your bright eyes and hearing your voice, had made the reality of his choice painfully tangible.
It was a cruel twist of fate that someone with such a love for knowledge and life should be destined for… He couldn't even bring himself to think the words.
Unable to find peace, Jacaerys rose from his bed, wrapping a cloak around his shoulders to fend off the chill of the night. He left his chambers quietly, the corridors of the Red Keep almost deserted at this late hour. Only the occasional guard patrolled the hallways, their presence a silent reminder of the ever-watchful eyes of the realm.
He found his feet leading him to the godswood once more, drawn to the ancient heart tree that had witnessed so much over the centuries. The rustling leaves seemed to whisper secrets as he approached, the carved face staring down at him with its perpetual expression of knowing.
“Why have you done this to me?” Jacaerys asked, his voice a broken whisper. “Why have you placed this burden on my shoulders?”
The tree, of course, offered no answer. It stood silent and stoic, a testament to the countless generations who had sought its guidance and solace.
“Old gods,” he whispered, his voice trembling, “I don't know if you can hear me, or if you even care. But I need your guidance. I need to find a way to fulfill my duty without losing my soul in the process.”
The face carved into the tree seemed to watch him with those same knowing eyes, offering no answers, only silent judgment. 
Jacaerys sank to his knees before the heart tree, the weight of his duty pressing down on him with unbearable force. The faces of the young women whose fates he had held in his hands swirled in his mind, but it was your face that haunted him the most. The way you had looked at him with trust and curiosity, unaware of the doom he had chosen for you.
The Prince had fallen asleep at the feet of the heart tree, woken up by his Queen’s scolding gaze and her sharp voice as she shook his arm. “Wake up, Jacaerys!” Queen Rhaenyra's voice cut through the early morning stillness of the godswood. Her hand shook his arm gently but insistently until he stirred, groggy and disoriented.
Jacaerys blinked up at his mother, the reality of where he was and what awaited him crashing back with painful clarity. “Mother – Your Grace.” he murmured, rubbing his eyes as he rose to his feet, feeling the ache in his bones from sleeping on the hard ground.
“You should be resting in your chambers, not sleeping out in the godswood like some lost soul!”
He hummed, throat sore from the cold air of the night, as his Queen dragged him inside holding onto his wrist. Jacaerys followed his mother back to the Red Keep in a fog, the events of the previous night and the weight of his decisions still heavy on his mind. Queen Rhaenyra's scolding was just a distant echo to him as they walked through the quiet corridors, servants bowing respectfully as they passed.
They walked by the Grand Hall, he managed to makeout your sitting figure, all alone, with a full plate in front of you as one of the servants poured juice into the cups. At the loud, angry steps that scurried in the hall, you lifted your eyes to meet his for a split moment before he was dragged away to his own chambers to compose himself. 
“Your betrothed is sat at the table, waiting, and you’re out asleep in the gardens.”
Jacaerys felt a pang of embarrassment as he remembered the fleeting glance he had exchanged with you through the grand hall. It was bad enough to be caught by his mother and scolded like a child, but to have you witness such a moment of vulnerability added another layer of discomfort.
Once safely within his chambers, the embarrassment deepened. He leaned heavily against the door, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to steady himself. He readied himself, not bothering to call the servants, and approached the Great Hall. 
It was silent, all he could hear as he walked in was the sounds of his youngest siblings playing with their food. Approaching you, he felt a knot tighten in his stomach. You looked up as he approached, your expression a mix of curiosity and apprehension. Jacaerys cleared his throat, unsure of how to begin.
“My lady,” he began softly, “I apologize for my absence.”
You looked at him, your eyes searching his face for understanding. “It's quite alright,” you replied with a small smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. 
He noticed a thick book sitting next to your feast, the old worn-out cover with the carved in title he recognized from the section he’d shown you the day before. “The Doom of Valyria,” Jacaerys noted with a slight surprise, gesturing towards the book. “You found it interesting?”
You nodded, a genuine spark of enthusiasm brightening your expression. “I figured we could look at it together. I thought it might help me understand more about... well, everything,” you admitted softly, your gaze flickering briefly to the book before returning to meet his eyes.
Jacaerys nodded, feeling his mother’s eyes move to him in a warning. Don’t get attached.
He didn’t initiate another topic of conversation, casting the room in silence while you had your breakfast. The Queen stood, taking her youngest son into her arms while two other servants followed behind with the other kids, leaving you alone in the Hall.
“We can look at it now, if you wish.” he spoke, hand reaching for the book once he’d finished drinking his cup. You nodded eagerly, grateful for the opportunity to delve into something other than the weighty expectations of your impending marriage. You both moved to a quieter corner of the Great Hall, away from the prying eyes of the courtiers who lingered nearby.
Jacaerys settled onto the floor, patting the space beside him. “Come on, it's more comfortable down here,” he said with a grin.
You laughed softly, gathering your skirts as you joined him. “If anyone walks in, they'll think we've lost our minds.”
“Let them,” Jacaerys chuckled, opening the book across both your laps. “Now, where shall we start?”
Your eyes skimmed the pages, landing on an illustration of a great city. “What's this?”
“Ah, Old Valyria at its height,” Jacaerys explained, his finger tracing the intricate drawing. “See those spires? They say they were forged by dragonfire.”
“It's beautiful,” you murmured, leaning in closer. Your shoulder brushed against his, and you felt a small thrill at the contact.
Jacaerys turned his head, his face now inches from yours. He hummed before he cleared his throat, a smile playing at his lips. “Did you know they had a saying? 'Valar morghulis.'“
“What does that mean?” you asked, tilting your head curiously.
“All men must die,” Jacaerys translated, his voice low.
You raised an eyebrow. “Cheerful bunch, weren't they?”
He chuckled, fingers playing with the edge of the page before turning it. The text was dense with Valyrian history and conjecture, but Jacaerys patiently translated and explained each passage to you. 
After a while, as if unable to contain his turmoil any longer, Jacaerys cleared his throat softly, breaking the companionable silence. “My lady,” he began, his voice tinged with regret, “I must apologize once more for my absence this morrow. It was... inconsiderate of me to leave you waiting.”
You looked up from the book, meeting his gaze with a mixture of surprise and understanding. “Jacaerys, it's alright,” you assured him gently, “And, please, you must call me by my name as well.”
He nodded once, turning his head to the book again, then back at you, “I wasn’t… out, I fell asleep in the gardens.”
You felt a small wave of relief wash over you and tilted your head slightly, studying his expression. “It must have been a rough night,” you said softly, empathizing with the weight he carried. “I understand.”
“I didn't mean for you to witness me like that. It was... unbecoming.”
“It is only human to seek solace,” you replied gently, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Even princes need moments of peace.”
He nodded, a faint smile touching his own lips in return. You hummed in thought at Jacaerys’ silence, a beat passed, “If I am to marry the prince, I shall better my High Valyrian.”
His face tensed, holding back a frown at the thought of you not having enough time to learn the language before… the day. “I can assist you with that, if you'd like,” he finally said.
You felt a surge of relief at his offer. You turned your head to the book, focusing on Jacaerys’ explanation once again. Before he could continue, the sound of footsteps echoed through the hall. A servant appeared, bowing low.
“Your Grace, my Lady,” he said, lying through his teeth, “The Small Council requests Prince Jacaerys' presence immediately.”
Jacaerys sighed, the weight of his responsibilities settling back onto his shoulders. He stood, offering you a hand to help you up as well. He gave you a small smile before closing the book and handing it off to you. 
“I am sure there is a High Valyrian dictionary somewhere, feel free to roam the library.” he said finally before turning to follow the servant to his awaiting family.
You watched Jacaerys leave, the book heavy in your hands. His sudden departure left you feeling oddly bereft, the warmth of your shared moment fading as quickly as it had come. 
With a soft sigh, you made your way back to the library. The vast room felt different now without Jacaerys' presence – larger, more intimidating. You wandered through the towering shelves, searching for the dictionary he had mentioned.
Finally locating the book, you settled into a comfortable chair near a window. Sunlight streamed in, illuminating the pages as you began to study. 
Hours passed, the light shifting as the sun traversed the sky. You had made some progress with your studies, but questions continued to gnaw at you. You tapped your foot repeatedly on the ground as you stared at the closed doors of the Small Council in the distance, having seen Jacaerys walk out hours before but having been too slow to catch up to him before he left for his chambers again.
As evening approached, a servant appeared to escort you to dinner. You followed, your mind still churning with unanswered questions. The dining hall was quiet, with only a few courtiers present. Jacaerys was noticeably absent.
“Where is Prince Jacaerys?” you asked the servant as she poured your wine.
“Still in council, my lady,” she replied, her eyes darting away quickly. “They've been at it all day.”
You nodded, picking at your food without much appetite. The absence of Jacaerys only heightened your sense of unease. Something was happening, something beyond the typical preparations for a royal wedding.
You retired to your chambers, the High Valyrian dictionary tucked under your arm. As you prepared for bed, you muttered to yourself the few words you’d memorized.
“Dārilaros Jacaerys,” [Prince Jacaerys] “Iksi naejot sagon dīnagon.” [We are to be wed.] you repeated softly to yourself, the unfamiliar words echoing in the quiet of your chambers. The weight of those words, of your impending marriage to Prince Jacaerys, hung heavily in the air.
You’d figured Jacaerys had begun to ignore you, a week went by and the servant’s lie about the Small Council no longer held up. A week had passed, each day stretching out with an almost unbearable tension. 
Every day, you found yourself in the grand library, delving deeper into the pages of history and language, trying to distract yourself from the growing unease. You studied diligently, but your mind often wandered back to Jacaerys, how every time you walked past him in the halls he’d turn his head, how he’d scurry away after having spent the meals in silence with his family and you sitting next to him. 
The whispers and pitying glances from servants and courtiers alike only added to your discomfort.
One evening, as you sat in the library poring over your High Valyrian studies, you heard the soft sound of footsteps approaching. Looking up, you saw Jacaerys standing at the edge of the shelves, his expression a mixture of guilt and hesitation.
He called your name softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I... I hope I'm not disturbing you.”
You shook your head, gesturing for him to join you. “Not at all, Your Grace. I've been hoping to speak with you.”
Jacaerys moved closer, taking a seat across from you. His eyes fell on the open books spread before you, and a small smile tugged at his lips. “You've been studying diligently, I see.”
“Yes,” you replied, meeting his gaze. 
Jacaerys once again fell into silence. His small smile faded, replaced by a look of deep concern and inner turmoil. The warmth that had briefly appeared in his eyes dimmed, shadows of worry creeping back into his expression. You watched as he seemed to retreat into himself, his posture stiffening, his gaze growing distant.
Despite your hopes for a longer conversation, for a moment of genuine connection, Jacaerys soon excused himself. His words were polite but hurried, his tone apologetic yet firm. As he left, you felt the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air between you. Once more, you found yourself alone with your books, the silence of the library seeming to mock your growing frustration.
The pattern continued throughout the weeks, becoming a painful dance of near misses and avoided glances. During meals, Jacaerys would keep his eyes fixed on his plate, responding to questions with short, noncommittal answers. His shoulders would tense whenever you entered a room, and he would find reasons to leave shortly after.
In the corridors of the Red Keep, your paths would cross, but any hope of conversation was quickly dashed. Jacaerys would offer a hurried nod, his pace quickening as he passed by. You began to feel like a ghost in your own home, unseen and unheard by the very man you were to marry.
As evening approached and the anticipation of the upcoming wedding ceremony weighed heavily on your mind, the silence became unbearable. The thought of entering into a union shrouded in such secrecy and distance filled you with dread. Questions swirled in your mind, each unanswered inquiry adding to your growing resolve.
You decided you couldn't bear the silence any longer. The need for answers, for some semblance of understanding, outweighed your fear of confrontation. With determination setting in your jaw and courage steeling your spine, you made the decision to seek out Jacaerys and demand the truth, whatever it might be.
Just before bedtime, you spotted Jacaerys walking down the hallway towards his chambers. Gathering your courage, you called out to him.
“Issi ao dobōtēdrā nyke?” [Are you ignoring me?] Your pronunciation was still rough, but he wouldn’t tell you that.
Jacaerys froze at the sound of your voice, his hand resting on the handle of his chamber door. He turned slowly, his eyes wide with surprise at your use of High Valyrian. For a moment, he seemed to struggle with how to respond.
“No,” he said softly, his voice barely audible in the quiet hallway. 
You stepped closer, your frustration evident in your posture and the set of your jaw. “What is it, then?” Your words were stilted, nerves eating at you. “The wedding is tomorrow, Jacaerys. I've been left in the dark, treated like a ghost in these halls. The servants whisper about me, everyone looks at me like they pity me. And my own betrothed ignores me.”
Your outburst seemed to startle him. He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture you'd come to recognize as a sign of his distress. “You're right,” he said finally, his shoulders sagging. “I apologize.” Jacaerys hesitated, clearly wrestling with his thoughts. “I... I'm sorry for my behavior. It's not fair to you.”
You stepped closer, your frustration bubbling over. “No, it's not. We're to be married tomorrow, and I barely know you. Everyone in this castle looks at me with pity, and you can't even bear to speak to me. What am I supposed to think?”
Jacaerys winced at your words. “It's complicated,” he said softly, avoiding your gaze.
“Then explain it to me,” you pressed, your voice rising slightly. “I've left my home, my family, everything I've ever known. The least you could do is tell me why you've been avoiding me like I'm afflicted with greyscale.”
“I cannot do that,” 
You huffed, he ran a hand through his hair again, clearly agitated. “I can't... I can't tell you everything. Please, try to understand.”
“Understand what?” you pressed, your patience wearing thin. “That my future husband would rather pretend I don't exist? That everyone in this castle looks at me with pity, and I don't know why?”
Jacaerys opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it again, shaking his head. “I'm sorry,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “I truly am. But I can't... I can't do this right now.”
With that, he turned and retreated into his chambers, leaving you standing alone in the hallway, your frustration and confusion only growing.
You stared at his closed door for a long moment, anger and hurt warring within you. Finally, with a huff of exasperation, you turned and stormed off to your own chambers. 
In your chambers, you paced restlessly, the events of the evening replaying in your mind. Jacaerys' evasiveness had left you feeling isolated and uncertain, the weight of unanswered questions pressing down on you. You glanced at the High Valyrian dictionary on your bedside table, its pages now familiar but offering no solace.
You’d fallen asleep quickly, the sound of hurried footsteps woke you and only then did you realize it was already dawn. A flurry of activity surrounded you. Servants bustled about, preparing you for the ceremony. You donned the gown chosen for you, feeling more like a doll being dressed than a bride preparing for her wedding day. 
Jacaerys refused to meet your eyes once you stood in front of each other, the privacy of the ceremony surprised you, only his family present and a few of the maesters. Words felt like a blur, you looked down at your hands that were wrapped in his, the priestess’ speech didn’t make you pay any more attention than you already were, too focused on hoping for this to end soon. 
“May the gods bear witness to this union. As you now pledge your troth to one another, let it be known that your fates are bound by blood and by honor.”
You only snapped out of your haze when you felt Jacaerys’ warm hands leave yours, and reappear in your line of sight with a silver knife. He held one of your hands, placing it on his before drawing blood, thinning the action careful to not hurt you. Then he moved the blade to your lips, a small, simple cut to them before he handed you the tool. 
You did the same, mirroring his every move, he shut his eyes when your cold blade reached his mouth, barely reacting to the cut. Then, a kiss, like the priestess called. Jacaerys cupped your cheek, his bloodied hand holding onto yours, and the taste of blood quickly filled your mouth. It was a slow kiss, just one, and he pulled away with a sigh. 
His thumb ran over your cheek once more before he took a step back, offering you a handkerchief to stop the bleeding. You dabbed delicately at your lips with the handkerchief, your mind reeling from the sudden intimacy of the kiss. Jacaerys' touch lingered on your cheek, leaving a tingling sensation.
The ceremony concluded with ceremonial words and blessings, but as you stood beside Jacaerys, you couldn't shake the feeling of disconnection between you. His demeanor remained distant, his eyes often flickering away whenever you sought to meet them.
After the formalities, you found yourself in a small antechamber adjacent to the grand hall where the ceremony had taken place. Jacaerys was silent as attendants bustled around, preparing to escort you away from the ceremony.
“Jacaerys,” you began tentatively, searching for some semblance of understanding or connection, “Can we talk?”
His shoulders slumped, eyes carrying a tire and sadness heavier than the one you’d been seeing for the past weeks. He didn’t hear you, at least that’s what you told yourself as he stood and walked away from you once again, leaving you sat with the stained handkerchief in your hands. 
You huffed, anger running through you as you hurried after him. You find him at the heart tree, its ancient branches looming over him like silent sentinels. Jacaerys stood before it, his hands clenched at his sides, his gaze fixed on the carved face of the tree. His expression was haunted, burdened with the weight of secrets and responsibilities. He mumbled in High Valyrian words that you had still not learned on your own.
“Jacaerys,” you called out softly, approaching him cautiously. He turned to you, his eyes weary. “I didn't mean to startle you,” you continued, your voice gentle yet tinged with the frustration that had been building within you for weeks.
He sighed heavily, “I thought you might come,” he admitted quietly, his voice barely carrying over the rustling leaves of the godswood.
“Why won't you talk to me?” you asked, your voice breaking slightly with emotion. “We're married now, Jacaerys. Avoiding your wife is far harder than avoiding your betrothed.”
Jacaerys turned to face you fully, the weight of his responsibilities etched deeply into his expression. His gaze softened as he took in your presence, the frustration in your voice not lost on him. “I didn't mean to shut you out,” he began, his voice tinged with regret. “I am sorry.”
You stepped closer, standing beside him beneath the ancient heart tree, its presence casting a tranquil yet solemn atmosphere around you. He didn’t speak, both of you staying silent while he shut his eyes, the weariness still evident on his face. 
“Do you come here often?” you broke the silence once it got too quiet, too tense. 
He nodded, “I do,” 
“I didn’t know you were faithful to the gods.” you stated, hand moving to touch the tree, his eyes followed your movements carefully. 
He hesitated, his gaze drifting from your hand on the tree back to your eyes. “I seek guidance here,” he admitted quietly, his voice carrying the weight of vulnerability. “It doesn’t always come to me, but-” he stopped talking, shrugging before he let his hand fall from the tree, yours following suit.
“Mother said it would be easier to avoid you,” he mumbled, his voice seemingly weakening. You found yourself reaching out to him, your hand brushed against his, fingers intertwining gently as you stood beneath the heart tree together. 
“What would?”
“The marriage, everything, I don’t know.”
Jacaerys didn’t pull away from your touch, though his expression remained guarded. His hand felt warm in yours, the tension in his shoulders gradually easing. The quiet of the godswood enveloped you both.
 “But we’re married now, Jacaerys.” you murmured softly, squeezing his hand gently. 
Jacaerys' expression softened, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Can we start anew?”
“I would like that,” you said, returning his smile. A comfortable silence fell between you, the tension of the past weeks beginning to ease. 
“Perhaps,” Jacaerys suggested hesitantly, “we could continue our High Valyrian lessons together? I've missed our time in the library.”
Your face brightened at the suggestion. “I'd like that very much. I have so many questions about the Doom of Valyria that I've been saving up for you.”
Jacaerys chuckled, a warm sound that you realized you'd missed hearing. “Well then, we'd better get started.” 
With a tight hold on your hand, he pulled you gently towards the castle. As you walked back together, a sense of cautious optimism filled the air between you. The silence was no longer tense, but contemplative, as if you were both considering the new beginning that lay ahead.
Entering the grand library, Jacaerys guided you to the familiar corner where you had spent so many hours studying together. He selected a few books from the shelves, their leather bindings worn with age and use. As he set them down on the table, dust motes danced in the sunlight streaming through the high windows.
Jacaerys looked up at you, his expression softening as he met your gaze. “I chose a few books that might interest you,” he said, his voice gentle. “But perhaps we could talk about these past weeks. I’ve missed you, you know?”
Jacaerys' words hung in the air, the unexpected admission causing a flutter in your chest. You settled into the familiar chair beside him, the scent of old parchment and the quiet rustle of pages creating a comforting cocoon around you both. Despite the turmoil of the past weeks, this small corner of the library had become a refuge, a place where the outside world and its burdens seemed to fade away.
You looked at Jacaerys, his expression open and earnest, the guarded demeanor he had worn like armor slipping away. “I've missed you too,” you replied softly, the truth of your words resonating in the silence that followed.
He gave a small, grateful nod, his fingers absently tracing the edge of one of the books. “Have you been studying on your own?” he began, his voice tinged with regret. 
You shrugged, “Hm, There was no one to teach me,”
“There are plenty of maesters, they taught me and my brothers-”
“Nobody in this castle really speaks to me, other than you, now.”
Jacaerys' eyes filled with a mixture of guilt and sorrow at your words. He opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again, seemingly at a loss. The silence between you grew heavy, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions. “It’s alright,” you interrupted his thoughts, “Have you any favorite spots in the Keep?”
Jacaerys smiled at your attempt to lighten the mood, clearly grateful for your effort. “I do, actually,” he said, a hint of enthusiasm returning to his voice. “There's a balcony overlooking Blackwater Bay. It's quiet and the view is breathtaking, especially at sunset.”
You nodded, intrigued. “I'd love to see it. Perhaps we can go there sometime?”
Jacaerys' smile widened, his eyes brightening. “I'd like that very much. How about after our lesson today?”
“That sounds perfect,” you agreed, a grin plastered on your face.
Jacaerys began explaining the text, his voice steady and patient. As he spoke, you found yourself not just listening to the words, but also watching him – the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something he was passionate about, the way his fingers moved delicately over the pages. You pretended not to pay any mind to the arm he’d draped over your chair half way through the page you were on at the moment, his fingertips moving up and down your arm and playing with your hair every now and then.
Time seemed to fly by, and before you knew it, the afternoon sun had dipped lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the library. Jacaerys glanced out the window, then back at you. “Shall we go, then?” he asked.
You nodded, feeling a flutter of excitement. Jacaerys led you through the winding corridors of the Red Keep, his hand in yours, the path becoming more familiar with each step. Finally, you arrived at the balcony he had described.
“It's beautiful,” you murmured, gazing out at the water sparkling under the setting sun.
Jacaerys nodded, his eyes on you. His hand moved to your backside, gently resting there, he drew you closer, wrapping his arms around you in a comforting embrace. You leaned into him, feeling a warmth spread through you at his touch.
“We could go on a walk after supper,” Jacaerys whispered, his voice barely audible above the soft sounds of the waves. 
For the first time since arriving at the Red Keep, you felt a glimmer of what could be between you and Jacaerys. 
With a soft sigh of contentment, you turned to Jacaerys and met his gaze, your heart lighter than it had been in weeks. “A walk sounds nice.” you said, your voice filled with newfound determination and a hint of excitement.
The weeks that followed were a gradual thawing of the ice that had formed between you, a slow but steady warming that began to transform your arranged marriage into something more.
True to his word, Jacaerys resumed your High Valyrian lessons in the library. What started as stilted, formal sessions soon evolved into hours of animated discussion and shared laughter between the two of you, melting away the image of duty-headed Prince Jacaerys. You found yourself looking forward to these moments, eagerly anticipating the smallest hint of time you would spend together.
“Skoros iksis aōha glaesagon uttoma raqiros?” [What is your favorite animal?] 
You pondered for a moment, searching for the right words. “Ñuha glaesagon uttoma raqiros iksis... zaldrīzes? Hen se tembyr.” [My favorite animal is... dragon? From the books.]
Jacaerys' smile faltered for a brief moment, so quickly you almost missed it. But then he was grinning again, praising you. “That was really good.” 
Moving on, he flipped the page, continuing the lesson as you practiced more High Valyrian together. His patience and encouragement helped you gain confidence in both the language and your interactions with him.
Outside the library, your walks with Jacaerys became a routine. He showed you hidden corners of the Red Keep, sharing stories of its history and his own childhood adventures. You, in turn, shared tales of your own homeland, finding common ground in unexpected places.
As the days passed, you began to see a different side of Jacaerys. The brooding, distant prince was replaced by a man with a quick wit and a passion for knowledge that matched your own. You discovered his love for astronomy, often finding him on the castle's highest tower, charting the movements of stars and planets.
One clear night, he invited you to join him. As you climbed the winding stairs, your heart raced with a mixture of exertion and anticipation. When you reached the top, Jacaerys was waiting, a bronze tube in his hands gleaming in the moonlight.
“I thought you might enjoy this,” he said softly, gesturing for you to look through the eyepiece. 
“What is it?” you asked as he handed it to you, you inspected it, mirrored his moves and looked through it.
“To look at the stars,” he came behind you, hands covering yours. Jacaerys stood close behind you, his breath warm on your neck as he pointed out constellations and explained their mythologies that he’d read about in books. You found yourself acutely aware of his presence, a warmth spreading through you that had nothing to do with the summer night.
These moments of closeness became more frequent as the weeks went by. You would catch Jacaerys watching you with a soft expression when he thought you weren't looking. His hand would linger on yours a moment longer than necessary when passing you a book. The air between you began to crackle with an unspoken tension, a growing attraction neither of you dared to acknowledge openly, even as husband and wife.
Jacaerys kept visiting the heart tree, his begs for a punishment getting bigger and bigger as he got to know you, the weight of the fate he’d put you up to too strong for him to bear.
After a particularly tense council session, you found Jacaerys in the godswood, his head bowed before the heart tree. You approached quietly, not wanting to disturb his contemplation.
“You can join me, you know?” he said without turning, a small smile in his voice. “I always know when you're near.”
You moved to stand beside him, your shoulder brushing against his. Jacaerys was quiet for a long moment, his eyes fixed on the carved face of the weirwood. “They ignore me, I think,” he mumbled. “The gods.”
You listened quietly, feeling the weight of his words. The godswood was serene around you, the rustling leaves and the faint whisper of wind creating a backdrop to Jacaerys' contemplation. You didn't interrupt, letting him speak at his own pace.
“I've prayed for guidance, for clarity,” Jacaerys continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I've received nothing. No sign, no answers.”
The vulnerability in his voice tugged at something inside you. You glanced at the heart tree, its solemn face seemingly watching over both of you. “Maybe the gods speak in ways we don't always recognize,” you offered gently. “Or perhaps they're waiting for you to find your own path.”
Jacaerys sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. “I'm not sure I know what that path is anymore.”
He trailed off, frustration evident in the set of his jaw. You reached out, cupping his face gently in your hands. “Jacaerys,” you murmured.
For a moment, it seemed as though he might tell you everything. His eyes searched for yours, filled with a longing that made your heart ache. But then, as quickly as it had appeared, the moment passed. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours.
“I don’t want you to suffer,” he whispered, his breath warm on your skin. You sighed, running your palm over his chest and holding his hand. “Have you been sleeping?”
He nodded, “Yes, a little,” Jacaerys admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand tightened around yours, seeking comfort in your touch. “I find it hard to rest sometimes.”
You nodded sympathetically, your thumb gently tracing circles on the back of his hand. The godswood was peaceful around you, the soft rustle of leaves and the distant song of a bird filling the air. 
“Come on.” you mumbled, tightening your hold on his hand to walk him to his chambers, hoping that sleep would make his worry go away.
The atmosphere in the council chamber had been tense for days. The air was thick with anticipation, the kind that only comes when a significant decision hangs in the balance.
Jacaerys sat at the head of the table, his expression solemn. Beside him, Queen Rhaenyra watched with a mixture of maternal concern and royal composure. 
“Prince Jacaerys,” one of the maesters began, his voice steady but with a note of urgency. “The time has come to finalize our preparations. The court and the realm await your decision regarding the next steps. Dragonstone must be prepared to receive its... visitor.”
Jacaerys clenched his jaw, feeling the weight of their eyes on him. He had known this moment was inevitable, but that did nothing to ease the dread that coiled in his stomach. He looked to his mother, seeking any sign of support or reprieve, but her face remained unreadable. She had taught him well about the burdens of leadership, but this was a trial he had to face alone.
“My lords,” he said finally, his voice betraying none of the turmoil within him. “I understand the importance of tradition and the necessity of the ritual. However, the lady is... not ready.” 
Ser Alfred, ever the traditionalist, did not miss a beat. “Your Grace, the ritual must be completed as dictated by our customs. The dragons are restless, and we cannot afford any delay. Dragonstone awaits her arrival.”
Jacaerys's hands tightened around the armrests of his chair. He had expected resistance, but the reality of it was far more daunting than he had imagined. The council's resolve was unyielding, their eyes reflecting the hard truth that duty often demands sacrifices.
“Can’t the dragon be fed… sheep, or pigs?”
“The tradition is sacred, Prince Jacaerys. It is through these rituals that we maintain our bond with the dragon and ensure it’s calm. To suggest an alternative is to risk breaking a chain that has bound our house for centuries.”
Jacaerys felt the pressure mounting, the room closing in around him. He looked to his mother once more, her face a mask of calm. But there was a flicker in her eyes, a silent communication that only he could interpret – a plea to tread carefully.
Queen Rhaenyra finally spoke, her voice smooth and commanding. “The Prince raises a valid point. However, the choice has already been made, the preparations have already begun in Dragonstone.”
Jacaerys’s heart sank at his mother’s words. The finality of the preparations being underway in Dragonstone echoed the inevitability he had been trying to avoid. The room seemed to close in on him, the expectations of his ancestors and the weight of the realm pressing down on his shoulders. He pressed his lips tightly together, grinding his teeth in frustration. 
The council resumed their discussions, the tension palpable in the air. Jacaerys listened as the members debated the logistics of the journey to Dragonstone, the protocols to be followed, and the necessary preparations for the lady. Every word felt like a dagger twisting in his gut, each mention of the ritual reinforcing the grim reality he wished to avoid. 
He was being ignored by his own Council, his mother and queen quietly sipping her wine as she stole glances at him. 
The same maester from before concluded, “We will proceed as planned. The bride will be escorted to Dragonstone, and the ritual will be conducted according to tradition. We cannot afford to falter.”
The meeting adjourned, and the council members rose from their seats, their conversations continuing in hushed tones as they filed out of the chamber. Jacaerys remained seated for a moment, his mind racing with the weight of their decision.
He rose from his seat and made his way to the godswood, seeking solace in the ancient silence of the heart tree once again.
The walk to the godswood was a blur, his mind consumed by a whirlwind of emotions. When he finally reached the heart tree, he pressed his palm against the rough bark, feeling the ancient power thrumming beneath his touch. The carved face seemed to gaze back at him, its expression inscrutable.
“Why do you remain silent?” Jacaerys whispered, his voice barely more than a breath carried away by the wind. “Do you not see the weight upon me? The burden of tradition threatens to consume everything I hold dear.”
The heart tree offered no answers, its carved face unmoving, its eyes seeming to gaze through him rather than at him. Jacaerys felt a pang of bitterness and betrayal at the feeling of being helpless, of being ignored by his gods and by his people.
He turned away from the heart tree, pacing restlessly amidst the tranquil setting of the godswood. The gentle rustling of leaves and the soft murmur of the wind offered no comfort. His thoughts raced, his mind replaying the council meeting and the inevitable march towards tradition that seemed to crush any hope of a different outcome.
In that moment of turmoil, his thoughts turned to you – the one person who could ease the burden of his troubled heart. He longed to see you, to escape the suffocating confines of duty and council chambers, to find solace in your presence. You were a beacon of warmth and understanding amidst the cold realities of court politics and ancient rituals.
Without hesitation, Jacaerys made his way back to the Red Keep, his steps quickening with purpose. He sought you out, driven by a need to be with someone who understood him, someone who could offer comfort without words.
Boredom had driven you to the library once again, the Red Keep not having many other activities to keep you occupied while your husband was in the Small Council. The chatter of the Small Council meeting echoed in your mind, their discussions on matters of state and tradition dulling your senses. You recalled Jacaerys' words earlier in your betrothal, his gentle encouragement to explore the library freely, to find respite from the formalities that governed court life.
As you browsed the shelves, your fingers trailing along the spines of ancient tomes, a small, leather-bound volume caught your eye. It was tucked away in a corner, almost hidden behind larger books. Curious, you pulled it out, noting the lack of a title on its worn cover.
Settling into your favorite reading nook by the window, you opened the book carefully. The pages were filled with elegant High Valyrian script, the ink faded but still legible. Your heart quickened with excitement at the challenge of translating this mysterious text.
As you began to read, deciphering the archaic language with the skills you had honed over the past months, the content of the book slowly revealed itself. It appeared to be a chronicle of Targaryen traditions, dating back to the family's origins in Old Valyria.
Your translation was slow at first, but as you progressed, certain phrases began to leap out at you. “Se zaldrīzes demands iā jorrāelagon...” [The dragon demands a sacrifice...] 
Your brow furrowed in concentration as you continued, your heart beginning to race as the true nature of the text became clear. “Hen tubis naejot tubis, se dārilaros iksis naejot ōdrikagon iā riña naejot se zaldrīzes...” [From time to time, the heir is to choose a lady for the dragon...]
With trembling hands, you turned the pages, your mind reeling as you pieced together the full horror of what you were reading. The tradition, passed down through generations of Targaryen rulers, of sacrificing a young woman to appease their dragons. The ceremonial marriage, followed by a journey to Dragonstone, where the bride would meet her fate.
As the full implications of what you had discovered washed over you, a cold dread settled in the pit of your stomach. Suddenly, Jacaerys' behavior, the pitying looks from the servants, the whispers that followed you through the halls – it all made terrible sense.
You were not just a bride. You were a sacrifice.
The book slipped from your numb fingers, falling to the floor with a dull thud that echoed in the empty library. Your mind raced, trying to reconcile the Jacaerys you had come to know – kind, intelligent, affectionate – with the man who had chosen you for this grim fate.
As the shock began to give way to a mixture of fear and anger, you heard footsteps approaching. Looking up, you saw Jacaerys entering the library, his face lighting up when he saw you. His expression softened as he took in your familiar presence – a book in your hand, and a furrowed look on your face. But as he drew closer, his expression changed, noticing the pallor of your face.
“What's wrong?” he asked, concern evident in his voice. “Are you feeling ill?” He knelt beside you, reaching out tentatively, as if unsure whether to touch you.
You recoiled slightly at his approach, a surge of conflicting emotions welling up inside you. Tears continued to flow unabated down your cheeks as you struggled to find your voice, to articulate the turmoil that gripped your soul.
He reached for your hand again, this time more insistently, but you pulled away, the sting of betrayal cutting deep. “You... you chose me,” you whispered, your voice laced with accusation. “To be sacrificed.”
He recoiled as if struck, his own eyes filling with tears of remorse and helplessness. 
You stood there, your body trembling with a mixture of fear and anger. The sight of Jacaerys, once a source of comfort, now filled you with an overwhelming sense of betrayal. Your eyes, brimming with tears, darted around the room, unable to settle on his face for more than a moment. The urge to flee, to put as much distance between yourself and this man who had deceived you, was almost overpowering.
“How... how could you?” you finally managed to choke out, your voice barely above a whisper. The words felt thick in your throat, as if your body was physically resisting the act of speaking to him. Your hands shook as you clutched the book to your chest, a tangible reminder of the horrifying truth you had uncovered.
Anger bubbled up inside you, mixing with the fear and hurt. It manifested in the way your jaw clenched, in the tightness of your shoulders. You wanted to scream, to rage at him for his deception, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, hot tears spilled down your cheeks, a physical manifestation of your inner turmoil.
You took a step back as Jacaerys moved towards you, your body instinctively recoiling from his presence. The man before you now seemed like a stranger, far removed from the gentle, caring husband you thought you had come to know. Your breath came in short, sharp gasps as panic began to set in.
“Stay away from me,” you managed to say, your voice cracking with emotion. The betrayal cut deep, a wound that felt almost physical in its intensity. Your mind raced, replaying every moment, every kind word and gentle touch, now tainted by the knowledge of your true purpose.
Your eyes, wide with fear and glistening with tears, finally met his. In that moment, the full weight of your situation crashed down upon you. You were trapped, bound by tradition and duty to a fate you never asked for, chosen by a man you had begun to trust and even love. The realization left you feeling hollow, your anger giving way to a deep, aching despair.
Jacaerys' face contorted with anguish. He took a hesitant step towards you, his hand outstretched, but you flinched away violently.
“Please,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Let me explain. I never meant to-”
“To what?” you spat out, finding your voice again. The words came out in a rush, fueled by fear and rage. “To lie to me? To condemn me to death? What exactly didn't you mean to do, Jacaerys?”
“I thought I knew you,” you continued, your voice breaking. “I thought... I thought what we had was real.”
Jacaerys' face crumpled at your words. “It is real,” he insisted, taking another step closer. You backed away, your back hitting the bookshelf behind you. “Everything between us, every moment – it's all been real. I swear it.”
You shook your head violently, unable to reconcile his words with the horrifying truth you'd discovered. “How can you say that?” you demanded, your voice rising hysterically. “How can any of it be real when you've been planning my death this whole time?”
Jacaerys’s expression twisted in agony as he absorbed the impact of your words. He stood rooted to the spot, a few steps away from you, his hand still outstretched as if hoping that a simple gesture could bridge the widening chasm between you.
“I never wanted this,” Jacaerys began, his voice barely above a whisper, choked with emotion.
You shook your head vehemently, tears streaming down your face. “You chose me.” you spat out, your voice cracking. 
“No, that's not what I-”
“Then what?” you demanded, your voice rising. “What exactly was your plan? To make me fall for you and then feed me to a dragon?”
Jacaerys's face contorted with pain. “I've been trying to find another way. I've been fighting the council, trying to change things-”
“And failing!” you interjected, your fear and anger boiling over. “All while lying to me every single day!”
“I wasn't lying to you!” Jacaerys protested, his voice rising to match yours. “I was trying to protect you!”
“How can I believe anything you say now?” you cried out, your body shaking with sobs.
Just as Jacaerys opened his mouth to respond, a sharp knock at the library door interrupted your heated exchange. You both froze, turning to see a servant entering hesitantly.
“Begging your pardon, Your Grace,” the servant said, bowing low. “The Small Council requests your immediate presence. They wish to begin preparations for... the journey.”
The servant's eyes flickered between you and Jacaerys, clearly sensing the tension in the room.
You sobbed at the mention of the event, even servants keeping secrecy of your fate.
Jacaerys clenched his jaw, he turned back to you, his eyes pleading. “Please, we need to talk about this. Let me explain-”
But you were already backing away, seizing the opportunity of the interruption to escape. “I wish to be left alone,” you said, your voice trembling. Without another word, you brushed past the confused servant and fled from the library.
Jacaerys stood frozen for a moment, watching as you fled, your sobs echoing through the hallways. His heart ached with the weight of his own guilt and the fear of losing you completely. Ignoring the servant’s continued bowing and murmurings, he sprinted after you, desperate to make you understand.
He reached your chamber door just as you slammed it shut, the sound reverberating down the corridor. He pressed his palms against the heavy wood, his forehead resting against it as he tried to steady his racing heart.
“Please, let me explain!” he called out, his voice thick with desperation. “I know you're hurt and angry, but you need to hear me out!”
Inside, you sank to the floor, your back against the door, tears streaming down your face. Your body shook with silent sobs, the enormity of the betrayal crushing down on you.
“Everything I've done,” Jacaerys continued, his voice muffled through the door, “I've done to protect you. I never wanted to deceive you. I never wanted any of this. But the council, the traditions... they're suffocating us both.”
His words felt like they were trying to reach you, trying to penetrate the thick wall of pain and anger that surrounded your heart. But the fear of your impending fate and the betrayal you felt were too overwhelming.
“Please, you have to believe me,” he begged, his voice breaking. “I love you. That love is real. And I will find a way to save you, I swear it. Just give me a chance to make this right.”
You hugged your knees to your chest, your mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. The pain, the fear, the betrayal – they were all so raw, so immediate. But beneath it all, a small part of you wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that the man you had come to care for was not the monster this situation painted him to be.
“I don’t know how to trust you again,” you whispered, knowing he couldn’t hear you through the thick door.
“I'll do whatever it takes,” Jacaerys vowed, his voice trembling with determination. “Just... don't shut me out. Please.”
The silence that followed was heavy, the air thick with the weight of his words. You stayed where you were, torn between the deep love you had started to feel for him and the horrifying reality you had uncovered. The choice to let him in or to push him away entirely seemed insurmountable in that moment.
With that, he pressed his hand against the door one last time, as if trying to offer some semblance of comfort through the barrier between you, before turning and walking away, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your heartache.
When he entered the room, the council members were already deep in discussion, their hushed voices filling the space with an air of urgency. They looked up as he entered, some with mild surprise, others with impatience.
“Your Grace,” the maester began, “we are ready to pick up from where we left off earlier. We were just finalizing the preparations for the journey to Dragonstone.”
Jacaerys clenched his fists, his frustration barely contained. “This madness must end,” he declared, his voice shaking with a mixture of rage and desperation. “We cannot continue with this barbaric tradition. There has to be another way.”
They looked at him as if he was a loose-tempered child, their expressions a mix of annoyance and dismissal. Jacaerys stood firm, his eyes burning with intensity as he faced the council that seemed so indifferent to his pleas.
“Your Grace,” the man interjected, his tone patronizing, “tradition is not something to be discarded lightly. It is what binds us to our heritage, what ensures the stability of our rule. The dragons demand their due.”
Jacaerys shook his head in disbelief. “Is that all you see her as? A 'due' to be paid?” His voice cracked with emotion, his frustration boiling over.
One of the maesters, an older man with a stern look and a long gray beard, spoke up with a dismissive tone. “Your Grace, emotions have clouded your judgment. The girl is but a vessel for the ritual, a necessary sacrifice for the greater good of our house and the realm. Your sentimental attachment to her blinds you to the realities of our traditions.”
Jacaerys's jaw clenched, his fists tightening at his sides. He could feel his anger rising like a tidal wave, threatening to overwhelm him. “You dare speak of my wife like that again and I shall have your tongue for it.”
The maester who had spoken before, undeterred by Jacaerys's threat, leaned forward with a smirk playing on his lips. “Your Grace, threats will not change the course of history. The traditions of House Targaryen are not to be trifled with, even by a king.”
“The dragon will be fed sheep, or pigs, or cows. I do not care for what it is, just not an innocent, not her.”
The council members glanced at each other again, murmuring amongst themselves in low voices. They seemed to reach an unspoken agreement, their gazes finally settling on Jacaerys with a mixture of pity and resignation.
“Your Grace,” the maester said with a sigh, Jacaerys shook his head, turning on his heel and storming out of the council chamber, leaving the members behind in a stunned silence. All heads turned to look at the empty seat of the Queen, who was absent from the meeting to be with her children. 
The preparations proceeded.
Outside the chamber, he paused for a moment, leaning against the cool stone wall to catch his breath. His thoughts turned to you, his heart aching with the fear of losing you to the cruel tradition that dictated your fate. He couldn't bear the thought of what awaited you on Dragonstone, of the horror you must feel now that you knew the truth.
With a deep breath, Jacaerys pushed himself away from the wall and began to walk briskly through the corridors of the Red Keep. His steps were purposeful, driven by a desperate need to find a way to protect you, to defy the council's decree despite their authority. His mind raced with plans and strategies, each one more daring than the last.
As he passed by servants and guards, he saw the pity in their eyes, the whispers that followed him like a shadow. They knew of the impending sacrifice, of the council's decision, and of his futile attempts to defy it. Yet, despite their sympathy, Jacaerys knew he couldn't rely on anyone else to challenge the council openly. The risk was too great, the consequences too dire.
Finally, he reached the familiar door of your chambers. His hand trembled slightly as he lifted it to knock, unsure of how you would receive him after your confrontation in the library. He knew he had hurt you deeply, that his actions had shattered the trust you had begun to build between you.
Before he could knock, however, the door swung open suddenly. The sight of you standing there, eyes red from tears, took his breath away. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of everything unsaid hanging heavy in the air between you.
He whispered your name, almost as if it was a secret, his hands reaching out to attempt to hold yours. You moved away, “I only wish to go to supper, the Queen is waiting.”
Jacaerys swallowed hard, his throat tight with unspoken words and unshed tears. He knew you were still hurting, still grappling with the betrayal he had inadvertently caused. The thought of losing you, of facing the council's cold and calculated decisions alone, sent a wave of despair crashing over him.
“I... I will not keep you.” he murmured finally, his voice barely above a whisper. 
You nodded slightly, your gaze flickering to the side, unable to meet his eyes. The pain and confusion swirled within you, making it difficult to think clearly or to know what to say next. 
Stepping back from the door, you slipped away from him, the distance between you feeling insurmountable. Jacaerys watched you go, his heart heavy with the knowledge that he was losing you, at least for now.
The walk to supper was silent and uncomfortable. Each step felt like a burden, the weight of your emotions threatening to overwhelm you. Servants passed by, casting sympathetic glances your way, their whispered conversations barely registering as you made your way to the dining hall. 
“My dear,” she greeted you warmly, though her eyes held a hint of concern. “I trust everything is well?”
You managed a tight-lipped smile, nodding slightly. “Yes, Your Grace,” you replied softly, avoiding her gaze.
Sensing your need for space, she made no further inquiries, allowing the meal to proceed in an uneasy silence.
Throughout supper, you picked at your food, the taste of bitterness lingering on your tongue. The empty seat beside yours, your husbands, felt like a void, a stark reminder of the distance that had grown between you. You glanced at it occasionally, half-expecting Jacaerys to appear, to fix it all with a snap of his fingers. But he did not materialize, leaving you to wrestle with your conflicted feelings alone.
Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, with her regal bearing and perceptive gaze, had always been keenly attuned to the emotional currents of those around her. As she observed you across the table during supper, she noticed the tension in your posture, the haunted look in your eyes, and the way you absently picked at your food.
Her own son's absence did not go unnoticed either. The empty seat beside you seemed to cast a shadow over the otherwise elegant atmosphere of the dining hall. Rhaenyra's eyes flickered towards it briefly, a fleeting moment of concern crossing her features before she schooled her expression into one of serene composure.
After a quiet and tense supper, Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen rose gracefully from her seat, her gaze lingering briefly on the empty chair beside you before she moved towards the doors of the dining hall. Her steps were measured, her presence commanding even in the subdued atmosphere.
As she exited the hall, servants darted forward to attend to her, but she waved them off with a subtle gesture. Instead, she continued down the corridor that led towards the private chambers reserved for the royal family. Her mind was focused on one thing: finding her son, Jacaerys, and offering him whatever support and counsel she could in his time of need.
Rhaenyra found Jacaerys in his private study, poring over ancient tomes and scrolls that spoke of the history of Dragonstone and the ancient rituals of House Targaryen. He looked up as she entered, his expression a mixture of determination and weariness.
“Mother,” Jacaerys greeted her, his voice subdued yet filled with a quiet resolve. Queen Rhaenyra closed the door behind her, the quiet click echoing softly in the study as she approached her son. Jacaerys stood by his desk, surrounded by the weight of ancient knowledge and the burden of his current dilemma. His eyes, weary and troubled, met hers as she drew near.
Rhaenyra took a deep breath, her mind racing with possibilities. “The dragon must be fed, as tradition dictates.”
“No-” he interrupted.
“Jacaerys, listen to me,” she began softly.
He closed his mouth, frustration still evident on his face as he glared at the floor, refusing to meet her eyes. 
“Ten sheep, as a symbolic gesture to fulfill the dragon's hunger. It will appease the tradition without sacrificing an innocent life. Like you said.”
Jacaerys remained silent for a moment, his jaw clenched as he mulled over her words. The weight of the decision pressed heavily upon him; he wanted desperately to protect you, yet he also feared the council's resistance to any deviation from the established ritual.
“It's risky,” he finally admitted, his voice tinged with uncertainty. “But if there's even a chance...”
“We must take it,” Rhaenyra affirmed, her voice gentle yet firm. “I feel your heavy heart, my son. You are hurt.”
Rhaenyra's words cut through the turmoil swirling in Jacaerys's mind, her understanding of his pain offering a momentary comfort amidst the uncertainty. 
“I can't bear to lose her, Mother,” Jacaerys confessed quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “She trusted me, and I... I betrayed that trust.”
Rhaenyra reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder, a gesture of maternal comfort. “Love makes us vulnerable, my son,” she murmured softly. “But it also gives us strength. You must believe in that strength now, for her sake and for yours.”
The day dawned with a heavy pall hanging over Dragonstone, the air thick with anticipation and dread. Servants moved about the castle with quiet efficiency, their expressions somber as they attended to their duties. Among them, preparing for the ritual that loomed ahead, was you.
Your mind felt numb, detached from the reality of what was to come. Every brush of the comb through your hair, every adjustment to your gown felt surreal, like you were watching someone else's life unfold. The knowledge of your impending sacrifice weighed heavily, a constant, gnawing ache in your chest that refused to abate.
Jacaerys, your husband, moved through the chambers with an air of quiet resolve. His eyes, usually warm and reassuring, now held a depth of sadness you couldn't bear to meet. He had sworn to his mother to keep the plan involving the sheep a secret, and despite the rocky state of your relationship, he ached to tell you.
As the time drew near, you found yourself seated beside Jacaerys in the carriage bound for the dragon pit. The journey was quiet, the clatter of hooves against cobblestones the only sound breaking the heavy silence between you. His presence beside you was both a source of solace and a reminder of the fractured trust between you.
You stole glances at him occasionally, noting the tension etched in his features, the way his hands clenched and unclenched in his lap. There were words unsaid, wounds still raw and unhealed, but in this moment, facing the inevitable, you craved for his comfort.
Silently, you reached to place a hand on his thigh, stopping his leg from moving up and down in anxiousness. 
He turned to look at you, his eyes searching yours for understanding, for forgiveness. The weight of his secret, the burden of the deception he had carried to protect you, threatened to crush him. Yet, in that moment, your touch grounded him, reminding him of the love that still flickered between you despite everything.
You held his gaze, your own eyes reflecting a mix of sadness and longing. Words seemed inadequate in the face of what lay ahead, in the face of the unspoken turmoil between you. But your touch spoke volumes, a silent reassurance that even amidst the chaos, you were still connected.
Jacaerys covered your hand with his own, his touch gentle yet firm. His thumb traced soothing circles on the back of your hand, a gesture of comfort and apology. There were no words to express the depth of his regret, the anguish of seeing you face such a fate.
“I will fix this,” he promised in a whisper. You frowned at him and he felt his heart drop once again, your trust for him was fully gone. “I swear it.” he murmured against your hair, his voice hoarse.
You withdrew your hand from his grasp, the gesture a silent but clear indication of the distance that had grown between you. His heart ached at the loss of your touch, a physical manifestation of the emotional rift that now divided you. You remained silent, the weight of his promise echoing in the space between you. 
As the carriage finally reached its destination, the stark cliffs of Dragonstone rose ominously before you. Servants hurried to prepare for the landing, their movements efficient and solemn. The dragons' presence loomed in the background, a constant reminder of the ancient forces that governed their lives.
Jacaerys helped you disembark from the carriage, his touch tentative yet filled with an unspoken plea for forgiveness. You stood side by side, facing the imposing fortress and the council that awaited your arrival.
From the distance, you could see the beast, a dragon stood tall before the castle, many men parading around it holding sticks to prevent it from causing any damage other than his feast, you.
Jacaerys’ gaze moved to his mother, her arms crossed over her chest as she gave him a stern nod, telling him that the sheep were hidden, prepared to replace you just as they’d planned.
The servants moved away, maesters following behind as the hair walked you to the dragon, just like it was written in the books of tradition. Jacaerys was supposed to leave you standing in front of the dragon, leave and hide away in a corner before shouting the known command for you to be burnt. A private tradition for only husband and wife, for heir and sacrifice to see.
Your body shook in fear as you walked behind your husband, your hand grasping onto his red cape. He reached behind his body, his hand holding yours in hopes to calm you.
The dragon loomed ahead, its scaled form bathed in sunlight that glinted off its massive wings and claws. Men with sticks stood guard around it, their wary eyes trained on the beast as well as on you and Jacaerys. They stepped away once the Prince approached. 
Jacaerys's steps faltered briefly as he glanced back at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of pain and determination. He squeezed your hand reassuringly, his grip firm yet gentle, a silent promise of his unwavering resolve to protect you at any cost.
As you approached the dragon, the enormity of the moment threatened to overwhelm you. Images from the ancient books of tradition flashed through your mind—husbands and wives standing before dragons, the command to burn uttered in hushed reverence. It was a private ritual, a solemn duty passed down through generations, and now it seemed poised to consume you.
You and Jacaerys were left standing on your hand, your hand clasped tightly in his as you tried to even your breaths. 
The dragon's gaze shifted, its attention momentarily drawn away as it sensed movement in the shadows. Jacaerys's breath caught in his throat, his grip on your hand tightening instinctively. For a fleeting moment, hope flared within you, a glimmer of possibility that the plan might succeed, that the ancient beast might accept the substitution.
But as the dragon turned back to you, its eyes narrowing with curiosity, the moment of truth arrived. Jacaerys turned to look at his mother, rushing with one of her maids behind her, and the promised sheep gathered. He couldn’t help the sigh of relief that washed over him, his hand letting go of yours to hold onto your waist and push you close to him as he quickly dragged the two of you away from the beast’s hungry eyes.
Together, you moved swiftly through the courtyard, away from the dragon and towards the safety of the castle's empty interior, the council already having left for their journey back to the Keep. Jacaerys's grip on your waist remained firm, his touch a reassurance of his steadfast protection in the face of danger. His mother kept pace beside you, her expression unreadable but tinged with a glimmer of pride in her son's daring defiance of tradition.
As you reached the threshold of the castle, Jacaerys finally allowed himself a moment to breathe, his gaze sweeping over you with relief and lingering concern. The weight of what had transpired hung heavy in the air, the daring gamble to spare you from the dragon's maw a testament to Jacaerys's unwavering determination and love.
Inside the safety of the castle walls, away from the dragon's menacing presence, Jacaerys pulled you into a tight embrace. His voice, thick with emotion, whispered words of gratitude and apology against your hair. You clung to him, the rush of adrenaline giving way to overwhelming relief and the beginnings of forgiveness.
From afar, you could hear the Queen voice the command, you watched in silence – as Jacaerys clung to you – the dragon spitting fire at the animals, the two women hurrying out of the way while it ate at the sheep. 
You felt a sob leave your throat at the sight, turning your body to fit into Jacaerys’ as you incoherently mumbled words of gratitude, his lips brushing against your skin every time he spoke caringly at you, apologizing, thanking the gods. 
“You're safe now,” Jacaerys murmured against your hair, his voice thick with emotion. “I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I never wanted any of this for you.”
“Please... Please forgive me. I know I don't deserve it, but I swear to you, I will spend every moment proving myself to you.” 
You buried your face in his chest, overwhelmed by conflicting emotions. His words of remorse and desperation washed over you, mingling with the relief of surviving the ordeal.
“I'm so sorry,” Jacaerys continued, his voice choked with emotion as he whispered. “I should have told you everything from the beginning. I never meant to deceive you, to put you through this. Please, I beg you... take whatever time you need. I understand if you can't ever forgive me.”
You felt his words reverberate through your chest, each syllable heavy with remorse and love. His vulnerability touched your heart, reminding you of the man you had fallen in love with despite the secrets that had threatened to tear you apart.
“I need you to know,” Jacaerys whispered, his fingers gently caressing your back. “I love you. More than anything. And I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”
You leaned in, your lips brushing against his in a tentative, exploratory kiss. It began as a whisper, a soft meeting of lips that conveyed all the unspoken words – the apologies, the gratitude, the hope for a future together. The taste of salt from lingering tears mixed with the sweetness of relief, creating a bittersweet sensation that only deepened the connection between you.
Jacaerys responded with an enthusiasm that spoke volumes. His arms encircled you, pulling you closer until there was no space left between your bodies. The kiss deepened, filled with a yearning that transcended the physical, binding your souls together in a moment of deep intimacy.
His lips moved against yours with a gentle urgency, pouring out his heart in the touch of his mouth on yours. In that embrace, amidst the echoes of their shared ordeal, you found solace and strength in each other's arms.
When you finally pulled away, a soft smile graced Jacaerys' lips, his eyes shining with gratitude. He rested his forehead against yours, his hands tenderly caressing your cheeks as if trying to imprint the moment into memory. You nestled into his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours.
“One step at a time,” you mumbled, catching from the corner of your eye, the hint of a smile fighting to appear on his face. 
Together, you stood in the quiet sanctuary of the castle, your bodies pressed close as if seeking solace in each other's presence. The weight of what had transpired hung in the air, but so did a glimmer of hope – a hope that with time and effort, your love could mend the fractures that had threatened to break you apart. 
Jacaerys seemed unconcerned with the Council's potential reaction to his and his mother's defiance of tradition, wholly absorbed in the moment. His thoughts were consumed by your scent and the significance of your first kiss since your wedding. He silently hoped it marked the beginning of a new normal, regardless of the Council's opinions upon your return to the Red Keep. 
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taglist: @smurfelle @earth4angels @elliaze @sillylittlepenguin181818 (taglist link is on pinned!)
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demontobee · 1 year
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Good Omens is queering TV/storytelling - part 1: GAZE
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I would argue that part of why Good Omens is so refreshingly queer is because it does not cater to the male gaze (which centers around the preferences - aesthetic, romantic, sexual, visual, logical, emotional, political ... - of mainly white men in positions of power):
no oversexualization of groups or types of people: Women or characters that could be read as female presenting are not overly sexualized. In fact, some of them are shown to be grimy, slimy and not sexual at all. All of them are real characters and not just cardboard-cutout on-screen versions of male misogynistic fantasies. They portray real people with real people problems. They are human, or exempt from our categories when portraying angels or demons. There are no overly sexualized bodies in general (as has so far also often been the case with young gay men, PoC, etc.), no fetishization of power imbalances, and not exclusively youthful depiction of love and desire.
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sex or sexual behavior is not shown directly (yet): All imagery and symbolism of sex and sexuality is used not to entice the audience but is very intimately played out between characters, which makes it almost uncomfortable to watch (e.g., Aziraphale being tempted to eat meat, Crowley watching Aziraphale eat, the whole gun imagery).
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flaunting heteronormativity: Throughout GO but especially GO2, there is very little depiction of heterosexual/romantic couples; most couples are very diverse and no one is making a fuss about it. There is no fetishization of bodies or identities. Just people (and angels and demons) being their beautiful selves (or trying to).
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age: Even though Neil Gaiman explained that Crowley and Aziraphale are middle-aged because the actors are, I think it is also queering the idea of romance, love and desire existing mainly within youthful contexts. Male gaze has taught us that young people falling and being in love is what we have to want to see, and any depiction of love that involves people being not exactly young anymore is either part of a fetishized power imbalance (often with an older dude using his power to prey on younger folx) or presents us with marital problems, loss of desire, etc. – all with undertones of decay and patronizing sympathy. Here, however, we get a beautifully crafted, slow-burn, and somehow super realistic love story that centers around beings older than time and presenting as humans in their 50s figuring out how to deal with love. It makes them both innocent and experienced, in a way that is refreshing and heartbreaking and unusual and real.
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does not (exclusively) center around romantic/sexual love: I don’t know if this is a gaze point exactly but I feel like male gaze and resulting expectations of what a love story should look like are heavily responsible for our preoccupation with romantic/sexual love in fiction – the “boy gets girl” type of story. And even though, technically, GO seems to focus on a romantic love story in the end, it is also possible to read this relationship but also the whole show as centering around a kind of love that goes beyond the narrow confines of our conditioned boxed-in thinking. It seems to depict a love of humanity and the world and the universe and just the ineffability of existence as a whole.
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disability as beautiful and innate to existence: Disability is represented amongst angels by the extremely cool Saraqael and by diversely disabled unnamed angels in the Job minisode. Representation of disability is obviously super important in its own right, but is also queers what we perceive as aesthetically and ontologically "normal". Male gaze teaches us that youth and (physical and mental) health are the desirable standard and everything else is to be seen as a deviance, a mistake. By including disability among the angels, beings that have existed before time and space, the show clearly states that disability is a beautiful and innate part of existence.
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gender is optional/obsolete: Characters like Crowley, Muriel and others really undermine the (visual and aesthetic) boundaries of gender and the black-and-white thinking about gender that informs male gaze. Characters cannot be identfied simply as (binary) men or women anymore just by looking at them or by interpreting their personalities or behaviors. Most characters in GO, and especially the more genderqueer ones, display a balance of feminine and masculine traits as well as indiosyncracies that dissolve the gender binary.
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Feel free to add your own thoughts on this in the comments or tags!
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Quarterfinals, Match 2
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expand to see all propaganda received! (wall of text warning oh my god this is a severe cautionary message)
Lauryn Hill:
"she paved the way and was hot as fuck the whole time"
"Girl c'mon. Look at her. You're gonna try and tell me that isn't the most beautiful and attractive person alive? Okay. You're lying but okay."
"if u freaks don't give ms. lauryn hill the respect she deserves..."
"actually one of the prettiest women ever I'm such a lesbian for her. like irl I'm already a lesbian but she is helping"
Damon Albarn:
"Don’t think Damon should be here? Why don’t you get your head checked by a jumbo jet? Maybe you’ll feel heavy metal and calm down."
"If Damon is in the “some guy” category, he’s the heavenly and heartbreaking version. Damon is the sort of significant stranger I’d see on the train out of Colchester but could never speak to, just a face seen in passing yet too radiant to be real. I’d fall in love for an hour and carry the ache for a month."
"Damon sets the standard for me. I think he’s the most fascinating man alive. What I find attractive in Damon is not just his gorgeous bone structure and boyish charm, but how wholly he’s committed himself to music. Damon is an artist who walked the walk: in one of his roughest years with some of his rawest songwriting, he said he was no longer excited by anything except the creative process. He was disillusioned with the celebrity of it all, with his relationships suffering for it, and only wanted to make art: nothing more, nothing less. He would go on to compose film scores, write operas and stage musicals, produce other artists’ records, form collectives to fulfill his passion for world music, and create some of the most globally successful music of his career in a completely innovative format that placed him as the phantom behind the characters. Whenever one band takes a break, he makes a solo record or puts together a supergroup to stay busy. He’s uniquely collaborative and still writes personal letters inviting artists to record with him, and yet can function as a one-man show, acting as a multi-instrumentalist, a singer-songwriter and a producer. He’s been a constant voice of bringing British music to the world *and* bringing world music into Britain. Sure, he’s won Brit Awards and a Grammy among others, but he also has a Guinness World Record and was named an Officer of the British Empire for his services to music; his long work with Africa Express earned him respect even from peers who’d previously dismissed him, and his commitment to support his Malian collaborators in the face of violence earned him the title of Local King in Mali. There is so much talent in the world, but there is truly no one else with a career that looks like Damon Albarn’s. Damon is far more than just a prettyboy to look nice on a magazine cover, but looks are the ultimate point of this tournament, so make no mistake: he was terribly, terribly pretty. You watch him performing in the 90s, you sift through photoshoots and interviews and documentaries, and it feels *cruel* how beautiful he was. If his talent was god-given, so was his face. To put a bow on this thesis: I don’t know if Gorillaz and Damon’s musical universe would be the experimental, globe-trotting, boundary-pushing community affair it is if Blur hadn’t become such a central figure in Britpop and if Damon had not been made such a media spectacle, and I don’t know if Damon would have been that spectacle if he wasn’t so ungodly pretty. The domino effect is that Damon’s cherubic face launched a thousand multimedia art school projects for decades to come."
"I wish I was basically any bloke in the 90s so I could tongue Damon Albarn down. Damon will see a man and ask “is anyone gonna kiss that?” and not wait for a response."
"I have a pillow with his face on it. I sleep with it every night 😊"
"“I’m more homosexual than Brett Anderson, always have been. As far as bisexuality goes, I’ve had a taste of that particular fruit, or have been tasted you might say…” is just the rawest most Shakespearean statement ever"
"he is the ultimate Pretty Boy ™. his glorious golden locks, his electric blue eyes. he is if Princess Diana was a Britpop Dude. he is the Regina George of Britpop. he is if Aphrodite took male form. Zeus would come down to earth to fuck him if he knew. he is a caffeinated orange cat let loose. he is deranged. he is unhinged. you never know what will come out of his mouth. he had sexual tension with every single man who knew him. he pulled justine fucking frischmann. his aura knows no bounds. he is a siren. he is a weird guy. but being so gorgeous stunning ethereal didn't stop him from also being one of the most prolific songwriters of his generation"
"THE MAIN BLUR"
"literally where do i even begin. i could write entire essays on this man. a good place to start would be the beetlebum music video, i suppose. i'll never forget the first time i watched that music video. something in me changed, my brain chemistry was altered, my life was never the same, i view the world a lot differently now. and a lot of the viewing i'm doing is of pictures of damon albarn's face because of boy do i have a lot of those saved. every time i try to look for a photo of something on my phone i can't find it because there's so much damon. okay that's maybe an exaggeration but this man has the most unfathomable beauty ever. his eyes? HIS EYES. god dammit i love his eyes i want to stare at them until the end of time like nothing else exists. i'm so normal about this man (lying) and while i'm usually very shameless about my interests i'm actually incredibly glad this propaganda is anonymous because otherwise. yeah. but the world deserves to see damon albarn's beauty and also hear his fantastic voice because what the fuck. his voice is literally the most gorgeous sound ever produced like bro sounds like that and expects me not to fall in love? i want this man to sing his silly songs and talk absolute nonsense to me until the sun eventually blows out and the world ends. cmon damon girlies let's demolish this tournament i know there are a lot of you."
"He’s beautiful. He’s a little rat. He’s a sweetheart. He’s a dickhead. He’s a musical genius. He’s a dumb bitch. He’s a jock. He’s a weirdo. He’s real. He’s an illusion. He’s everything. He’s just Damon."
"DAMON DAMON DAMON where do I begin oh jeez I've hyperfixated on this man for a solid 4 years and still going strong. Damon makes me wish that British people are real. That says A LOT. This man created a whole ass ANIMATED BAND WITH A SHIT TON OF LORE as a SIDE HUSTLE??? Not to mention, what other man has collaborated with Stevie Nicks, MF DOOM, Del the Funky Homosapien, Snoop Dogg, AND Beck?! People, we're literally in the presence of a god. And he's STILL GOING. Anyways, TL;DR, damon is so so so neat and cool and he should definitely win this competition. Thank you."
"Okay 90s Damon is The Perfect Boy yes yes, but the people who parrot the Daily Mail and say "he's ugly now" will never understand. I would still suck every drop from him on his deathbed."
"Vote for whoever you want to. But Damon is so pretty."
"i did not spend hours admiring this beautiful man's face on pinterest just to see him lose."
"Damon Albarn just brings me joy. When I'm watching him perform, following along as the camera lingers on and adores his pretty face, I get butterflies like I'm 15 again. It's nice to still feel that totally unguarded giddiness sometimes."
"God let the intrusive thoughts win making Damon. What if he's a beautiful blond twink with eyes like saucers and dick to his knees, he reads Herman Hesse and plays footie and is insufferable about both, he'll be the most prolific musician of his generation and write operas and seminal albums in 5 different genres and also he's gonna be the dumbest bitch alive? He'll also be kinda bi, but only kinda. And send."
"when i found out about his existence, my life was changed forever. i wish i could use him like the hannah montana boot milk pillow and chuck him at the wall so he makes a loud thud"
"Think of the drama and anon fights it'll cause if Damon wins it all! And think of how quiet it'll get after Damon's out. You'll miss him when he's gone, like memories of a noisy house years after it's grown silent. Choose Damon, and keep the messy train chugging."
"Even the Gallagher brothers have the hots for him."
"Kiss kiss I love him also you can't vote for any of the Seattle men they're literally copy and paste it's not fair. We need Brit representation"
"I want to take care of him, I want to provide for him. I need to gauge his baby blue puppy dog orbs out to I can clean them with wood varnish, paint shades of Pantone 320 C in his eyes, spray eau de parfume by dior in them and sew it back into his eyes like that scene in Toy Story 2."
"Seeing as simply filling the page with ‘Damon’ written 10000000 times isn’t going to cut it 😅 may I admit/submit: I DO have him tattooed on my being (no descriptive, is this anon?); he’s inspired somewhat unhinged late night/early morning fandom conversations in which I’ve served as ‘parish’ priest hearing confessions from all manner of folk about what they’d like to do to him/receive from him; sadly I lost an essay where I detailed why the letters that make up his name suit him so well, and described him as the hot caramel sauce to Graham’s cool vanilla ice cream. He’s a faerie princess with a nose that makes people weep and a voice that feels like the warmest home and he gives amazing hugs. He loves trains and chickens and his tuxedo cat. He’s annoying and sweet and somewhat unhinged and his music saves people and all this is on top of that fantastic dick. He’s a dream yet very real and we’re fucking blessed to be on earth at the same time as him, amen"
"Damon Albarn was a beautiful, beautiful boy. The world saw that, regardless of if every individual reading this has the same taste in men; it felt like a truth of the universe at the time. They don't make celebrities that angelic in face and erratic in personality anymore."
"I need to touch his eyebrows, nose and prostate just one time JUST ONE TIME COME ON"
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ozzgin · 3 days
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Yandere!School Q&A 2
Answering some of the questions involving the Yandere School universe. Gender neutral reader, mildly NSFW/suggestive in parts.
Just curious, is there a difference between men and women in the yandere/darling academy?
Not at all. In theory, there could be a difference in uniforms, as seen from the occasional depiction of skirts, but that's really up to the student. As in, they can wear either, regardless of gender.
When it comes to you, on the other hand...I feel like they'd either ask you to wear pants, or heavily reinforced skirts. Too many creepshots and perverted attempts otherwise.
I know the yandere school verse is meant to be silly but I’m genuinely invested in the lore and worldbuilding now. What classes are taught in both schools? Do the darlings resent the yanderes? WOULD THEY BEAT THE YANDERE STUDENT’S ASS IF THEY GOT FOUND OUT??? SO MANY QUESTIONS SMFKEDKK
To be honest, I still haven't considered all the logistics!
I'm imagining a mix of both when it comes to classes: you have yandere-specific courses, and then general subjects with some practical applications. Obviously you can't do without mathematics, for example. If you don't understand double integrals, how will you determine the area you need to cover to reach your Darling who's running for the hills?
Also, I don't think the Darlings would be too upset. After all, they are studying solely to find themselves a yandere one day. What is a little baffling is that out of all the damn darlings in school, this guy ends up chasing after a ‘yandere’ student.
One of the Yanderes at Yandere Academy is bound to be a Platonic, and they're probably going insane watching every student and teacher going after the school Darling. Do you think they'd be on the staff or a fellow student?
There's plenty of platonic yanderes, both among the students and teaching staff. They make up the security brigade, ensuring your safety and keeping dangers away. If other students let their infatuation go overboard, they will be quick to correct it.
In fact, this is where their yandere skills shine most. Taking care of you.
Ohh what about yan art teacher using reader as the model for nude portraits in class?
That'd be like opening Pandora's box. What's to guarantee that the students won't go feral? Even as a regular model, removing any article of clothing within the artistic depictions is strictly forbidden. The other teachers already have to sort through stacks of confiscated fanart involving you, they don't need a boost in lewd creations.
Unless you mean a private encounter with Yan!Art Teacher for some extra credit. That's a whole different story. 👀
for your yandere school au if I was in readers situation, and I got a free full?? scholarship?/ to a fancy school?/? I no longer need to go along with family tradition I’m getting that free scholarship it’s not like I particularly needed a bunch of people to stalk me 🤷
I'm kind of hoping that Yandere School comes with a full scholarship, too. Bonus points if they offer legacy benefits. Reader comes from several generations of graduates, after all.
Not to mention, you already have a bunch of people stalking you, if we are to count the yandere family members. You'll feel right at home.
The darling is christian in some other scenarios right? What if in sex ed class, she said that she would only do that if she got married? Imagine every single yanderes trying to be a good husband material but the darling is so damn clueless about it
I don't think the religion was ever specified, but you're free to imagine it however you'd like, anon. I can definitely picture the yandere students perking their ears at such statement and taking it as a challenge. You want to wait until marriage? Then they’ll bring the marriage over right now. You have to wonder if there’s some current fashion trend you’re unaware of, as every student has asked for your opinion in rings. You’d assumed it’s a question involving their own, personal acquisitions, so now there’s a bunch of classmates fighting outside because they all got different answers and clearly only one of them holds truth.
That one teacher who got all those accidental smut submissions about Y/N is gonna be feasting tonight
I suspect most teachers have a neatly organized storage full of content involving you. Whether it's accidental submissions, confiscated doodles, illegal photos and so on. Hell, they probably trade the stuff like collectibles.
"You got the fic I asked for?" one teacher asks lowly, resting against the wall.
"Uh huh."
Another teacher swipes through a thick folder with the efficacy of someone who does this too often.
Imagine yandere school y/n slips up and accidently calls a teacher mom/dad. Or worse (or perhaps better depending on who it is), mommy/daddy. y/n is embarrassed, yandere students are jealous, and teacher is now horny.
Terrifying affair. The teacher will have to evade weeks, maybe even months of assassination attempts coming from the students and parents. Reader probably joked about it at the dinner table once, and the mom/dad has been spiraling ever since. How could such a mistake happen? Have they neglected their darling child?
“I-It’s not what it looks like!” one student will stutter, terrified to find Reader’s parent behind them.
“I’d say it’s pretty obvious, you’re doing a terrible job. Hand me the binoculars”, they demand in a whisper, glaring at the object of their envious stalking: the teacher.
How would the readers parents/fam react if the reader complained about the school staff or a student? [Gym teacher dress coding reader] With this as personally speaking I would be really annoyed. The yan family could also take it as an insult because I know for a fact they make sure the reader has all the best stuff. As well how they're bothering or unfairly treating the reader. And if the yan fam connects that the school is yan (students and staff) they would FLIP OUT. But that's out of the point
I’d say it depends on their relationship. Remember, Reader’s parents are graduates of Yandere School, so it’s entirely possible they were taught by the very same teachers and staff. Thus, they might be reluctant to question their authority.
“You have to understand, I had my best intentions in mind”, gym teacher will explain to the parents with a solemn face.
“No, you’re right. We’ve seen the way those kids look at our (Y/N). Who knows what perverted thoughts linger in their mind?”
The grey-haired man dabs a handkerchief across his forehead, visibly paler.
“E-exactly. It was all to protect (Y/N) from any indecent, uh, risks.”
Gym teacher prob got a forest downstairs
Only one way to find out. Better put on your adventurer's hat! 👅
Okay but like, the poor principal having to deal with the entire Yan!academy
He probably stares in the mirror every morning, noticing yet another grey hair, or that his eyebags have gotten worse. He's going to need an early retirement. "I tried my best", he mumbles to the portraits of the previous principals.
How would the yandere school react to reader being hypersexual? P.s can I be raccoon 🦝 anon? [I'm afraid you'll have to pick a different emoji, anon, as raccoon is already taken]
I mean, I can totally picture a playboy/playgirl kind of Reader who skips class to smooch one of the students in a storage room. Or Reader getting too flustered and excited and begging one of the teachers for "help" after school. I'm sure most would comply without hesitation.
Though you may have to deal with a horde of jealous partners who don't like to share. Next thing you know, you have to compile a sexy time chart and schedule the smooching to fit everyone in.
hai ! this is related to yandere school, i’m curious to know what if reader decided to accept the scholarship to darling academy? like i can imagine readers parents worried and proud while clumsy yandere is absolutely celebrating abt it :D
Knowing Reader’s luck and Clumsy!Yandere’s misfortune, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s more yandere students lurking the Darling Academy grounds. Or even worse, some darlings begin to develop intense feelings for Reader. Worry not, your clumsy best friend will always come to your rescue.
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just-a-ghost00 · 2 months
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What's your life purpose?
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Trigger warning : the content of these readings may be touchy. My intention is never to hurt or make anyone feel uncomfortable. Feel free to stop reading if it is too much to handle.
Group 1 - Rollerblade
Cards : Shadow, Compassion, Power, 9 of cups, Hierophant, 9 of swords
This felt very emotional and very specific but for some of you your sole purpose is to come out. Is to finally be yourself unappologetically, to get out of your shell and express your true nature. This will speak to anyone that considers themselves queer or wonders about their identity in general, whether it's about genders, sexuality, fashion, beliefs. Your purpose is to hep other people do the same. To raise awareness and compassion about being out of the norms, thinking and feeling outside the box. To empower people so that they can be themselves without feeling ashamed or fearing other people's opinion. Your purpose is to help people feel secure in their beliefs and feel fulfilled, to stop worrying about the future or whether they'll ever be able to be free. You're here to help shift paradigms around the notions of identity, norms and beliefs. Some of you may have faced public shaming in the past, whether it is in this lifetime or previous incarnations, surrounding your sexuality and/or your appearance. I was picking up specifically on World War II. There might be people amond your ancestors that were persecuted for similar reasons. I'm feeling very emotional doing this reading. If that is something you have gone through, I am sincerely sorry and I hope that you will no longer suffer the pain of being rejected for who you are. I'm getting the feeling of people being demonized because of their beliefs and wrongly accused of things they had nothing to do with. Your purpose is to help people get rid of such karma, to cleanse and purify transgenerational wounds surrounding sexuality, body image, cultural differences. Especially for women. And one of the ways you could be doing that is through art and/or entertainment. Like dancing, rollerblading, singing, painting. I asked for further information regarding hobbies or careers that you can pursue to accomplish your purpose and you got Self Love and The Explorer. So the general answer would be anything that gets you to explore and deepen your sense of self love. If I'm getting more specific, I'm thinking of modeling, yoga, group therapy, reiki, hypnose, meditation, sound healing. Since Self Love depicts a peacock, the activities have to have a connection with beauty/aesthetics/the body somehow. I'm also thinking of tantra. For some it could be related to surgery. Like helping people transition from one gender to another.
Keywords/signs/extras : In the shadows - The Rasmus, bats, ravens, crows, Pisces, Taurus, life path numbers 9/5, pride, rainbows
Group 2 - Lips
Cards : The Warrior, The Universe, Sacred Sexuality, 6 of swords, 10 of pentacles, 4 of cups
There are possible future public speakers among you. And also artists such as graphic designers, digital artists because when I started to do your reading, my drawing software just randomly opened when I didn't even click on it. So if you were hesitating about starting to draw or going digital, this is your sign to go for it. Your life purpose is to bring people together, to reunite people that were seperated. I'm specifically picking up on immigrants, war victims, orphans, people that are homeless or that have a precarious situation. Your purpose is to raise awareness about these subjects, to join an organization and fight for these people's rights. Again, the theme of sexuality is brought out here, similarly to group 1. You could be helping out people that had to flee their home in order to be safe because of their sexuality. Your purpose could be to help people free themselves of toxic environments if that is their wish. So it could be helping victims of physical abuse, domestic abuse, victims of racism/homophobia or any kind of hate crime. I sense some influencer energy coming from this group as well. In all cases, your purpose is to provide people with a safe space where they can either live freely or share their truth. So you could be creating an app to gather people facing the same issues or to put in contact people that are willing to help with people who are in need of help. You could be using your social media and your status to raise awareness about specific causes. You could be getting legally involved by filing lawsuits, by protesting, by adopting. You could be helping people with their administrative papers. There are so many ways this can be done. But I'm getting a very proactive vibe from your group. If group 1 was more about providing moral and emotional support, you are more of the kind to go to the trenches and fight the battles. So some of you could even literally fight by applying for the military. The 6 of swords can indicate travel and we also have the Universe card so this would make sense. Also you could be donating money, funding the construction of shelters for instance.
Keywords/signs/extras : Aries, social media, roses, cranes, dogs, mountains, river side, Indestructible - Disturbed, letter S, life path numbers 1/6/9, NGOs, Not today - BTS
Group 3 - Disco ball
Cards : Patience, The Magi, The Weaver, knight of pentacles, 10 of wands, The Star
Some of you could be tarot readers or use any other form of divination. If that is not your case now, you have the potential to be. You also have the potential of being a public figure. And by that I mean an important one. Kind of Beyoncé level or any other artist that you can think of that you like, no matter the field. It could be acting, it could be film making, it could be fashion design, singing, dancing, ice skating. Anything. Writing also seems really significant. Your purpose is to guide other people. To help them weave their way through illusions and obstacles. To help them move forward and lighten their load so that they can shine their light onto the world and be the best version of themselves. We also have teachers here, coaches, spiritual practitioners of any kind, healers. You bring people to life. You help them give birth to projects. It could be litteral. As in you help moms give birth to their beautiful babies. You help new souls come to life and navigate through this world. I'm picking up on One Piece and Magi references. Specifically I was thinking of Nami and Basil for One Piece. As for Magi I was mainly picking up on Aladdin. I did some research on these characters, especially Basil because I didn't know this character that much and it turns out Basil's ability uses Tarot. He's a fortune teller. When it comes to Aladdin, he's one of the most powerful magicians and his lineage is beyond great but he has no idea because he doesn't remember his past and part of his powers are tied to his memories. He is destined to save his world and become the most powerful wizard of his era but has to fight a lot of enemies to do that. So it could be that you won't reach your full potential until you've uncovered some of your past life memories / traumas. Also you may be facing a lot of challenges and opponents on your path. You may meet a lot of naysayers or a lot of people trying to distract you from your truth and your calling. So that could transpire in your work environment, in your family, in your group of friends. You might notice people hating on you for no reason. That's because your light and power disturbs them. Since there are a lot of magical mentions it could be that some of your ancestors were accused of being witches and persecuted because of that. That might be part of the past life memories you have to deal with. Or you might be living in a country / city that has a lot of legends surrounding witches/wizards (i.e. Salem in Massachussets, Rouen / Orléans/Domrémy in France for their history with Joan of Arc, Britain when it comes to Arthurian legends, New Orleans, Greece with Circe / Hecate, Russia with Baba Yaga and Rasputin, Ireland with the Morrigan, Northern Africa for Kahena).
Keywords/signs/extras : life path numbers 1/8/11/22, psychic abilities, magic, snakes, moon cycles, cranes, stars, Aquarius, Gemini, Youtiful - Stray Kids, wizards
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theladybrownstarot · 9 months
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In-law's first impression
Pick a card reading ~
𐙚❀˖° Here's my masterlist for more !
𐙚❀˖° Make sure you like/reblogg/Comment And follow for more !
Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.
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Pile 1 °•☆
♡ Namaste pile 1 ! swagatum to your reading~ take what resonates and that doesn't and don't expect sugar coating from me expect honesty only :)
☆ okay , hm when you will meet your in laws you way wanna run away out of fear lol or there exist other possibilities like you must be going through some things and carrying lot of emotional baggage but that won't be visible to your in laws. These people will think of you as someone who is adventurous , someone who isn't afraid of challenges, finds happiness in little things and can make people agree with you . There exist the possibility that you suddenly remember that you have to meet your in laws while doing something else suddenly or randomly decide haha.
●You will be seen as someone guided by practicality most . They will think of you as someone who may overthinks but knows to control and may get defensive too but also that you have mood swings . You don't like to hurry up things . You are very patient and nurturing individuals which will make them feel that they can be compatible with you so you for their son or daughter .
☆You have a good mental self control that makes people feel that you have experienced life a lot . You could be seen as a fair , accountable, responsible , authoritative , introverted and cold person until you open yourself truly and then they know that what are you . Most of you could be therapist of some sort or like doctors , healers , coach of sort , investigators and in law I see some people with anxiety , trauma and eyes problem too .
Pile 2 °•☆○
♡ Namaste pile 2 ! swagatum to your reading~ take what resonates and that doesn't and don't expect sugar coating from me expect honesty only :)
I pulled more cards here haha maybe lot of information is here ^^
●People here are very hardworking individuals , calm , honest , with a sense of purpose , loyal and what more i can say no materialism attachment with people here you don't like excess of anything nor you run but attract opportunities . This is what the impression seems to be at first without thinking a lot i guess there is something about your appearance like some people get impression by talk for some only it is from their appearance or we say what your are can be seen from outside .
☆ You have load of work and things in your life could be that they think you are someone who may not have time for family but work mostly but that could be different too . You must have struggled in life for work but not now . They see that you have come to a success position in your life after phases of struggles .
● You people may be dream come true for them , good manifestators , don't need to struggle for things at present like whatever you wish for comes to your life . You could look similar from someone close to their family and believe this is your soul family and your guides and universe will be happy for you !
☆ You could be seen as someone who can all alone manage their finances like you could be bloody wealthy and secure . You like animals too aww cute ~ Even you don't want to attract attention you will get it .You stand among all the choices they have seen haha if they marriage had to been an arrange one .
Pile 3 °•☆○°
♡ Namaste pile 3 ! swagatum to your reading~ take what resonates and that doesn't and don't expect sugar coating from me expect honesty only :)
● someone of you could be younger than your spouse or at a young age you must have learnt to take many responsibilities that can be seen from your in laws . You could be good cooks also wow . You guys are multi tasker and can be seen good for home management be man or women.
☆ You are seen someone physically strong than your spouse whether again if you are a man or women . You people are fashionable too or could be models or could give that vibes . You people straightforward, dominant and strategic always like you don't like mess . Damn your presence can make come to their right place or you could none less than a king ! You could be from village but work in city .
● You are someone they can hope a lot or you could be a lot hopeful and optimistic . You really have many wishes that you want to make them come true . So marriage isn't your end goal or wish it is something else . You people are very much self-aware and shine among others . You may not want to cooperate when it comes to your need . You are bloody honest . You want a life of joy,happiness and travel .
The end of pac ☆°•°•○
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honeybeezgobzzzzz · 8 months
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𓅨 Eros: Chapter Two
Eros: Married to Dream of the Endless, you find yourself sent back in time to Ancient Greece where you, unfortunately, meet Oneiros. Fresh off a divorce and drowning the sorrows of his son’s death by indulging in the Panathenaia, you find yourself trapped beneath the lustful gaze of your future husband. In your defense, he seduced you first…
Warnings: Language, Taunting.
To Note: Morpheus x Wife!Reader, Time Travel, Oneiros is used for AncientGreek!Morpheus.
Word Count: ~2.8k
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By dinner that night you had nearly drowned yourself in turbulent thoughts and discomfort. Your friends were gossiping while lounging at a table, they were gushing about all the men and woman that had arrived through out the day. Apparently in the celebrations, orgies were a common occurrence among the aristocrats and it was always a guessing game of who would be getting with who, or more importantly, who would get the golden invitations to the orgies with the most powerful people of Athens. You didn’t mind the open sexuality of Athens, it was actually a freeing thought… but you’d spent the afternoon and night in a state of hurt with a very agonized heart.
Why did it pain you so much to see Oneiros in pain? It was clear that he was hurting. Hurting and drowning himself in wine and debauchery to take his mind and being off the fact that his son had died and he’d gone through a divorce. You hated seeing him like that. You hated it so much. But you were well aware that Morpheus had gone through this phase in his life. He’d gruelingly explained it to you on a rainy afternoon after you had pestered him about his past relationships. He was your husband and you loved him so much, yet you still knew very little about his past.
He hadn’t wanted to tell you anything. Hadn’t wanted you to know about his failings in martial relations and love period. But the Endless loved you with every grain of sand he possessed and had explained the sorrows and troubles he’d gone through… minus the time proceeding his divorce. Watching the debauchery unfold in front of you, you fully understand why he hadn’t uttered a peep about his greek era. The greeks certainly knew their way around bodily delights.
“Elpis?” You blinked and glanced at Merope, she and the other girls were looking at you with concerned looks. They had noticed a change in you since earlier, had barely touched food or drink and spent an awful lot of time sitting with a faraway look within your eyes. “You’ve been rather demure since luncheon, is all well?” It wasn’t like you could just unload all your troubles on the three women, no matter how much you wanted to.
“Just a headache,” You informed her before unfolding yourself from your curled position and rising to your feet. You brushed out nonexistent wrinkles from the skirt of your dress.  “I think I need some fresh air and to cool down.” Your fingers tugged at your clothes, undoing several pins that kept fabric folded against your body in a decorative way. The silken fabric loosened and draped until it was just barely held together on your body. Now you didn’t feel so smothered. “I’ll be out for a walk, don’t let me keep you up waiting.”
It was clear that they weren’t convinced by your words as you strode past them with your peplum fluttering behind you. It was a hot night in Athens, but the breeze from the Aegean Sea cooled you down as you took a garden path that led straight to the beautiful water. Standing at the waters edge, you crouched down and brushed your fingers through the slightly warm water. This wouldn’t last forever, surely, your Morpheus was probably ripping through realms and universes trying to find you… you just had to deal with his past self until you went home.
Which you didn’t know when that would happen.
And you didn’t like the idea of leaving this Morpheus in pain.
But could you actually do anything about that?
You didn’t exactly have a handbook on what to do when you time traveled.
Destiny will be up your ass if you screwed this up…
Then again maybe this was supposed to happen?
You growled and dropped your face into your hand with a more than exaggerated groan. You didn’t sign up for this time travel bull shit when you married Morpheus! All you had to be, according to Morpheus and just about everyone else in the realm, was his wife. Of course you wanted to be active in the realm and help out the denizens, dreams, and nightmares as their queen, but no one held you to duty.Just as you sighed and dragged your fingers down your face, pulling your eyelids as you went, you felt a tingle in your being and a shiver run up your spine. You rose to your feet and turned around.
Ah.
High above on one of the balconies overseeing the Aegean Sea, lounged Oneiros in all his glory. His tunic was half on his body, revealing a great expanse of his star sculpted physique. His hair was ruffled since you had last seen him. Right. Lucienne reluctantly mentioned that Morpheus had a few hoe eras. This was one of them. Even though he wasn’t your Morpheus, you could still feel his inherent desire and lust. It was certainly directed at you since you had met eyes with him. That both scared and excited you.
“Elpis?” Kynna’s sweet voice broke your stare down with Oneiros. Jarred from holding the lustful gaze of Oneiros, you blinked rapidly. “What are you doing outside all alone? Did you have a bad dream?”
“Kynna!” You softly exclaimed, striding up to the girl and plucking her from the ground. What on earth was she doing out of be? There were half naked adults everywhere! “You’re supposed to be in bed.”
“You’re not in bed,” The little girl pointed out like it would make a difference, making your eyebrow pop up. The utter cheek!
“That’s because I was out for a walk, come little one, back to bed, you have a great many activities to do tomorrow.” Continuing to carry Kynna, you entered the large stone building and walked towards her families wing. Your heart throbbed in your chest the entire way to her room.
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You sat in your seat stiff as a bored. It was another extravagant luncheon hosted by one of the noble families. You hadn’t wanted to accept the invitation, you weren’t versed in the politics of Athens and certainly didn’t know anyone other than your three knew friends. The only plus side to attending was the delicious food served. You’d spent a lot of time snacking on olives while partaking in wine, and it was nice to eat a proper grecian meal.
Under normal circumstances, the men would eat separately from the woman, but since it was Panathenaia, an exception was made so everyone could mingle and celebrate in shared fashion. As uncomfortable as you were with the flirting and innuendos, you did find yourself laughing at a few crude jokes and well entertained by the conversations you found yourself drawn into.
The men and woman of Ancient Greece were beautiful, impossibly so, but they were also so easy to get along with and forget that you didn’t even belong in this era! Several times you found yourself falling into a place of comfort you should not entertain! So every time a conversation got a little too intimate you pulled back. But that being said, you carried small talk and day to day conversation quite well.
At least until a certain someone arrived.
Your attention was drawn to Oneiros like a moth to a flame. You couldn’t help it. Not when he was the love of your life and the very being you promised to spend the rest of eternity together. Not when you had allowed the anthropomorphic being to place a physical part of his Endless being within your own so that you may spend every moment he had left in time with him.
But he wasn’t yours. At least not yet. That didn’t stop the smoldering looks he sent your way and it certainly didn’t stop the fire that burned deep in your belly until you squirmed in your seat. Gods damn that being for being your kryptonite! Wanting payback for what he was causing you, you began eating grapes. One by one. Allowing your fingers to linger on your lips while you held his gaze.
 It was a rather torturous sight to see.
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The purple peplum you had on, held in place by golden pins and a decorative belt that wrapped around your waist. The fabric was just as light as all the other peplums you’d ben dressed in, but at the moment you felt like it weighed a tonne. Feeling suffocated by your feelings, the heavy gaze of Oneiros that seemed to follow you everywhere, and the general sultry atmosphere that enveloped the commons, you had slipped to the gardens for an afternoon stroll. Even with the fresh air you were still struggling to control your emotions.
“I just want to go home,” You softly murmured to yourself, allowing your hand to brush over several hibiscus flowers. “But I can’t even have that. No, someone just wants to fuck with me and my heart by forcing me to live through one of my husbands darkest times.” Sighing, you continued running your fingers over flowers and leaves. Lifting your eyes to the skies, you willed time to go by faster, wishing for the relieving darkness that harkened a sleep that blocked out the visceral agony you felt.
Before you had married Morpheus, you used to be so excited about falling asleep at night. You practically lived two lives, one on earth during the day, and second, more meaningful one in the Dreaming at night. You knew almost all of the denizens of the Dreaming before you had become romantically involved with Morpheus, so your nights had literally been a second life. But then the Endless had finally decided to make his intentions clear with you.
You had been swept off your feet by a blanket of stars Morpheus had weaved himself and courted like a spoiled regency debutant. It had been so extravagant that you had nearly told Morpheus that he only needed to get you flowers and talk to you regularly… but you had quickly found that bestowing you with gifts and words of affection were his love language. He wanted to shower you with gifts. He wanted to bespoke words of adoration to you. You were his universe. He was the being you never knew you needed. Together you felt complete.
Sniffing while your eyes burned, you hastily wiped at your eyes and nose lest you start balling in the middle of the garden and cause an upset. Why were you doing this to yourself? You knew you were playing with fire. Finding yourself and stopping the threatening onslaught of burning hit tears, you cleared your throat and looked up at the flowering pink shrub you found yourself in front of.
Oleander.
Smelling the fragrant blooms, you reached up to take one of the pretty blooms. It was just out of reach, but if you stretched on your tippy toes, you could probably reach it. So you stretched upwards, pressing close to the plant. Your fingers brushed the soft petal, but you couldn’t get a good grasp that wouldn’t tear the delicate bloom apart. In your struggle, you hadn’t noticed his approach and jerked in place when fabric bushed against your back as a pale hand reached over your head and effortlessly plucked the bloom for you.
Freezing in place as your breath caught in your chest, you clutched your hands to your chest. It wasn’t like you could ignore him now. Slowly turning your head, your eye met vibrant blue and you had to force yourself to stay still. Gods all you wanted to do was wrap your arms around his body and never let go! Oneiros twirled the bloom between his lithe fingers, all the while maintaining his intense gaze with yours.
You fascinated him, hypnotized him with your eyes, demanded his heart and passion with but a glance. Yet you never drew close enough to indulge. It was maddening, for Oneiros wanted no other but you. You’d drown out the sharp sting of loss he felt. He was sure of it. But something kept pulling you away the moment he was sure you’d finally break. The Endless offered the plucked flower to you, waiting for you to either accept or refuse it. Given your rather flighty disposition, he half expected you to flee the garden.
But you didn’t.
No. Oneiros was surprised when one of your slightly trembling hands reached to accept the flower. Your eyes were trained on the bloom, and you made sure not to touch him… but your silence spoke a million things.
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It was getting harder and harder to avoid interacting with Oneiros. You didn’t know if it was because you naturally gravitated towards him, or if it was because he clearly wanted you. Nothing you did rid you of the pain you felt from him. So you had gone to the baths to try and soak out the stress you felt. It was nearing midnight, so most of the nobles were either indulging in bodily delights, drinking, or sleeping off the alcohol. That meant you could enjoy the public bath house in privacy.
So you slowly made your way into the steamy room and carefully unwound the belt around your waist. Then your fingers plucked the pins from your shoulders and you carefully folded the silk cloth that hung around your body. The steaming water looked inviting as you stepped down into one of the pools, and you sighed at the nostalgia that filled your mind. The bath house pools were much like the large bath you had in the Dreaming, and made memories of relaxing in it cradled within Morpheus’ arms as he told you stories of past dreams, surface within your mind.
You wanted to go home so bad.
“Are tonights revelries not to your appetite?” You jerked in place at the sound of his voice, your head snapping around to see Oneiros lounging in a corner of the bath. Shit. Shit. Shit. It took everything you had not to stare at his naked body leisurely sprawled across the sitting ledge without care. His black messy curls made your fingers twitch for they ached to run through them. Oh, it wasn’t just those curls either, you wanted run your fingers along his skin, trace his muscles, adore the curves and planes upon his otherworldly body, kiss him until you were forced to take a breath… It took you a solid minute to find the courage to reply.
“I do not usually partake in such festivities, my lord,” You replied, a slight tremble in your words. A black eyebrow arched and you forced your gaze to the carved statues of spites mounted at the end of the room. “I am more reserved with my affections.”
“But not entirely opposed as your skin paints a different story,” Oneiros pointed out, his eyes lingering on the faded marks of someones apparent love. Oh yes, someone had the pleasure of indulging in your body. Someone worshipped you greatly and with complete devotion. The marks were subtle, but intentional. Territorial even. The Endless watched as you flushed beneath his scrutiny, and took great enjoyment in knowing that he did have an effect on you. “Who would leave a creature as lovely and delicate as you, by yourself during such festivities?”
“He’s away on business and I do not seek to control him,” You told him, carefully unfolding yourself from your tight ball. Instantly the Endless was drinking in the view of your gorgeous curves and faintly loved skin. He wanted to devour you. You wanted him to stop hurting. So you rose to your feet in the water and slowly sloshed over to him. “Why are you here, my lord?”
Clearly he didn’t expect you to ask him such a question, but nonetheless he humored you after taking a sip of his wine and eyeing your goddess like body. Soft and begging for worship. One he would surely get lost in should the chance arise.
“I am enjoying the festivities, the same as you,” You nearly snorted and rolled your eyes. He may not be your Morpheus, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t pick up when he was lying. You lifted your chin.
“No, you are not,” Now that was a bold statement to say directly to his face, and you could see his eyes darken.
“You dare think to know my intentions better than I?” He questioned back, eyes searching yours to see how far you would push his patience. Your lips were distracting, after your grape stunt he had wanted nothing but to devour them to see if they were indeed as soft and inviting as they looked… as was the rest of your glorious body. Tender curves begging to be caressed, clear skin aching be marked once more, lips that called to be tamed…
“I know enough to wonder why you are here, rather than with the men and women desperately throwing themselves at you.” You informed him before turning to the side and moving back towards your folded dress. You left the bathhouse and a ravenous Endless behind, your heart beating fast in your chest.
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Date Published: 1/22/24
Last Edit: 1/22/24
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fabiotheguitar · 2 months
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i want to expand on what Ayesha might mean when she says being queer and Muslim is complicated as a queer Muslim myself bc I’ve seen some people not quite hit the nail on the head.
first is that it is not a universal opinion among Muslims that having a gay romantic or sexual partnership is a sin. that depends on how you interpret the story of Lut alayhi salam, which most schools of thought have extrapolated to be about gay relationships. It might be the mainstream view, but that does not give it religious or scholarly credibility per se. the Quran itself says nothing negative about queerness.
second is that Islam is not unique in being manipulated and twisted as an excuse for homophobia. that has happened in so many cultures and religions and societies. nothing specific about the Quran actually says that being gay is a sin/gay people should be killed etc (just to be clear the people who say that are making it up to validate their homophobic violence. you know how that goes)
really, Ayesha hits the nail on the head when she talks about social relationships. when you’re a minority, if the sheikh or imam or the community is homophobic you can’t just pick up and go somewhere else. this is your community, and you experience so many beautiful things with them. we pray shoulder to shoulder. you aren’t supposed to ignore or shun people. in Islam we have many obligations that are fulfilled through community (giving charity, walking to the masjid, praying in congregation, celebrating eid). this is who you celebrate with, who you mourn with, who you go to for guidance and advice.
the other complicating factor is that many Muslim women observe hijab (wearing a headscarf, physical separation of men and women) in part to create a space where they can exist without being sexualized or even talking about sexuality at all. the expectation is that when you make wudhu, change clothes, etc in front of other women that they aren’t sexualizing you. but if you are attracted to women, even when you lower your gaze and don’t notice their appearances, it feels like an invasion of their privacy. being a lesbian Muslim involves a degree of questioning where you fit into your community, what spaces are and aren’t for you.
the last thing and something i think Ayesha portrayed so well is that when you love your religion, when you love your community, rejection from your community hurts more. especially when they think they’re being kind. heteronormativity becomes rejection. hesitancy around queerness becomes rejection.
the fact that the question would even be asked, how is it to be queer and Muslim, is basically like saying hey, I’m curious about which ways you’ve been rejected by your community or how they fail to meet your needs. please justify your continued relationship with them and your religion so i can judge you and them. and how is that a fun experience for a queer person? underneath all the jokes we like to make, rejection does hurt. even when it comes from people who are kind and loving and just biased or misunderstanding.
this isn’t a character analysis of Ayesha particularly (but I definitely want to do one)! i just wanted to put this out here for anyone not Muslim who was wondering what was up with those scenes
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hwnglx · 4 days
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slay mama 💅🏻
karina's reputation among idols
based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!
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female idols
karina is seen as an idol with a lot of energy, who gets things done quickly. like she isn't the type to be lazy, too comfortable or boring at all. there's this fast-paced “okay, let's get this done!” vibe to her. very passionate, fast-moving and enthusiastic. also very talkative. like this girl will voice her opinion, no doubt about it. this is understandable due to her leader position, but i can see her being the voice of the group, even amidst other idols. she speaks up for the group, takes matters into her own hands. i keep seeing her standing in front of her members, almost like this big sister you need to get past before you get to the rest of the group.
her reputation among female idols, seems very good. she's beautiful, and has a powerful and strong presence in their eyes. like if karina enters the room, you can't help but notice her. she turns heads and attracts a lot of attention. they think she's this very confident, self-assured and independent woman who knows exactly what she wants, a lot of assertive and dominant energy in her. she's also very supportive, caring and nurturing in their eyes. like she looks after the people she's with in this gentle and courteous manner. in their eyes, she displays a person who balances her fiery and passionate, but soft and feminine energy in a very pleasant way. i can see many female idols just truly liking being around her, she has this warm energy where she just makes you feel invited, welcomed and taken care of. she radiates and spreads a lot of positive vibes, and draws people in with her natural charisma.
many female idols also have the desire to work or collaborate with her. they think she has a lot of profitability, and very universally likeable and commercial appeal that brings in a big audience. honestly, the big picture here is, that they just view her as a person who has it all. very well-rounded idol who gives off the impression that she was made for this job, but is also a commendable and delightful person to be around.
male idols
male idols join the female idols in thinking karina is very opinionated. there is a bit more of a bitter undertone here though, where it seems to intimidate them. they believe she will definitely not miss a chance to speak her mind, and defend herself or the people around her if the situation asks for it. there seems to be this reputation of her debating a lot. not just for herself, but especially when it comes to the people she cares about. let's say there's a bunch of people in a room and you find yourself in a conflict with someone who ends up as the underdog, best believe karina will be the one standing by their side till the very end. like literally take them under her wing, speak up and argue for them. i can sense male idols just thinking she is not to be messed with.
some male idols also might believe that she's likely to hide a lot of her even more aggressive and egoistical sides beneath a mask, and exactly knows what to do in order to get people on her side. like she's aware of what she needs to do to fool people into liking her. uses her charm to get what she wants, and is very calculated and deceptive. i can sense them thinking she's already a lot to deal with in their eyes, and must be even “worse” behind closed doors. tbh, she just seems like a girl's girl. i can see her fiercely standing behind her women, not being intimidated by the men at all, and the men being rubbed the wrong way about it. like “how dare she talk to us that way?” (telling you all these male idols are too used to women subsiding to them smh..)
there also seems to be a lot of gossip when it comes to her dating life. male idols think she juggles all these options, but doesn't give in to any of them. they think she likes the attention and validation from it, and just plays them all to fondle her ego. (i see this being more of a delusion though, many of them just want to believe they're an option. i don't see her engaging with them much)
there is a lot of wishful thinking and longing to get with her on many idols' side, however it mostly remains as a fantasy in their heads. it just stays as this burden on their back. they can't actually approach her comfortably, because they feel like they're unlikely to succeed anyway. they'd just be another failed try in her list of rejected admirers. ego plays a big role in here as well. it's giving.. “if i get to be with her, then that'd make me the guy who stood out.” however being rejected by her, scratches their ego twice as much. so they just stay put. basically, karina has these men at the palm of her hands.
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vlansy · 7 months
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Run Away Baby Before I Put My Spell On You
Pairings: WandaNat! x Fem!Reader
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Summary: Natasha and Wanda is set on a mission to find out who the "new" super hero in town is.
Warning(s): Violence, Voyeurism, murder, use of gun, swearing- (MINORS DNI 18+ )
CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2
Reader's POV
Growing up I have always wondered what I was made for, my mother said she prayed to have me and the deities gave me to her. She said I was special and she was the most blessed woman to have me. I was blessed by every God, giving me gifts and power.
But I still wonder what my purpose is.
I mean don't get me wrong having been given powers to move things with my mind, and control anyone if I wished to is an honor I will forever be thankful for, but sometimes I feel like I’m cursed to have them. I still have morals though, I ask for permission first before I enter someone's mind but even without asking I could still do it. Levitating and creating illusions is also one of the many powers given to me by the Gods. The Goddess of beauty and love herself even bestowed me with the power to charm and captivate anyone I wish to kneel for me.
When I was given to my mother they all expected me to be the one to stop the war and create peace among everyone.
I was sent to the mortal realm at a young age by my mother, she wanted me to live there with her immortal friend whom she said she’d known for a long time. I don't know what her reason is and why she wanted me to leave her but I know better than to question the queen.
I visit sometimes though, I mean what's a castle without its princess?
And what's a mother without her daughter….
My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knock on the door.
“Y/n, are you awake?” A soft masculine voice said.
I was lying on my bed my feet dangling on the edge. I raise my hand opening the door without getting up.
I hear my Uncle Malcolm's footsteps coming closer my eyes remain closed.
“Is it just me or does the “woman in white” look familiar?” He said emphasizing the “woman in white”.
I opened my eyes and turned my head to him. I looked at him and raised my brow. “I see you’ve seen the news.”
“Y/n, I know you have a mind of your own and you’re a bright girl, but honey please be careful out there.” He said as he sat on the edge of my bed.
I’ve lived with my “uncle” Malcolm here on earth since my mother decided it would be a good idea for me to leave. He’d known my mother when he was in high school and my mother was a curious princess who wanted to see the whole universe.
His only family is me now and his fiancé Luthor.
They’re both very much in love and I would love nothing more than to officially welcome Luthor to our family. They both treat me as if I were their real daughter and I love them both like their my real Dad’s
It’s ironic really, before I got sent to earth I’ve only ever had women around me, since where I came from women are the ones to rule and provide for their offspring. No men exist where I came from they’re practically extinct.
I look at my uncle. “I promise I won’t get hurt, Dad,” I assure him. “And would you really think I’d let anyone catch me?”
“I know you wouldn’t let that happen but I know you too well to know that if the Avengers were the ones after you, you would let them.” He said knowingly.
“I- okay I probably will, but come on Dad if the Avengers were to want me I’d be honored to be caught by them.” I laughed at him.
It's an understatement to say that I'm a huge fan of the heroes that protect the world. But I would never admit that to anyone but my Dad’s.
They know how much I admire them, especially the two wonderful redheads I have a tiny bit of a crush on.
So when I thought of the idea that the Avengers might be on to me I had mixed feelings about it. I don't know whether to be excited that they know of me but also a bit scared because they know of me.
“And besides, whatever happens, happens. I'm a powerful being but I can't control what will happen, Dad.” I finally sat down on my bed.
He just sighed at me, knowing how stubborn I am he probably thought not to argue with me further.
“Where's Papa, by the way?” I changed the topic.
“He's still in his office, you know your Papa he's very hard working.” He said proudly. I just nodded.
My Papa is a well-known lawyer and my Dad is a popular Fashion designer. When I was younger I started to model the clothes he designed which gained me popularity all throughout high school and college.
I graduated college at 18 due to my high credentials and skipping a few grades. I honestly don't know what to do since I don't go to school anymore, I'm 19 now and turning 20 in a few months but all I want to do is keep my position in the modeling industry.
People say I'm too smart to just throw it all away but I don't really care what they think, plus My dad’s supports me with everything I do and whatever I choose to be.
I live by myself most of the time, I bought myself a house, but I miss my Dad’s too much so come over at weekends.
“I'll leave you to rest now sweetheart, goodnight,” he said as he kissed my head.
“Goodnight, Dad.” I smiled at him as I watched him walk out the door.
A few minutes passed and I was tucking myself to bed when my phone rang.
“Yes, Shaye?” I said when I answered the call.
“Y/n! Girl let's go out tonight!” She screamed right in my ear making me move the phone away.
I look at the time, “Babe it's literally midnight?”
“Yeah so? Come on honey the other girls are coming too,” she reasoned.
I thought for a second, what could go wrong? Right?
“Fine, give me like 30 minutes.” I finally agreed.
“Yay! Okay hurry up and I'll call you when I'm there, Byee!” She said cheerfully.
“Bye.” I said and quickly went to my walk-in closet and chose an outfit.
Once I found a white crisscross halter top and some denim jeans I went to my mirror and got changed. Then I went out of my closet and to my vanity. I started putting on a little bit of makeup and took the claw clip that was on my hair to let down my soft curly hair.
I got my purse and made sure my important belongings were in there and went to my Dad’s room.
I knocked on their door and waited for it to open.
“Yes, sweetheart?” my Dad said as he opened the door.
“I'm going out with Shaye and my friends.”
“Okay, be careful alright,” He reminded me.
“Yes, Dad bye,” I said and smiled back at him.
I was going down the stairs when Shaye called. “We’re here.” she is said.
“Yeah, I'll be right down,” I said and ended the call.
When I got out the door I was greeted by my friends squealing. I opened the shotgun seat and Shaye started driving.
“Oh my God Y/n we’re gonna have so much fun tonight!” My friend Leven said in excitement.
The car ride was pretty much us singing to loud music and taking photos.
When we arrived at the bar the guard didn't even need to check our IDs or make us stay in line because we go to parties here almost every weekend.
Some of our close friends were already waiting for us in the VIP section of the bar with drinks ready.
“Y/n babe, You made it!” A familiar feminine voice catches my attention.
“I probably wouldn’t have come if I knew you were here.” I joked at her.
Vienna was my ex when we were in college but we were more best friends than girlfriends so we ended up on good terms. But even when we broke up we would still playfully flirt with each other, but we both have zero romantic feelings for one another.
“Oh don’t act like you don't miss me, honey,” she winked at me.
I playfully rolled my eyes at her.
We partied all night and drank so much alcohol that my friends could barely walk anymore.
“Oh my God, do you guys remember when we all got in trouble because we couldn't stop laughing at Mr. Wilkins when we caught him picking his nose.” Leven reminded us.
“HAHAHA, or when he tried to flirt with Shaye in front of the class but Shaye said she also likes girls?.” I said and they all laughed, especially Shaye who almost choked on her drink.
As we caught up with each other's lives and reminisced about the times we had together I excused myself to go to the bathroom.
As I walked to the exit of the bar I could already feel the danger come my way.
I excused myself to my friends earlier because I saw a woman being followed and harassed by two men. I watched her for a while and when she was going to the exit I knew I had to follow.
As I looked around the exit I saw the two men following the girl out so I quickly but carefully followed them.
One of them ran up behind her and covered her mouth so she couldn't scream the other guy went to a nearby van and opened its back seat.
I walked towards them and spoke. “Watcha doing there big boys?”
They turned towards me. “You wanna join in doll?” The guy holding the girl said and smirked. I smirked back at him and walked closer to them, my heels clicking as I walked. The other man from the van now went closer to us.
“You know, two big guys like you shouldn't be out here at night,” I said as I got close to them the girl still trying to get out of the other man's grip.
He looked at his buddy and they both grinned. “Yeah, and why is that?” He asked a menacing smile plastered across his face.
“Because you might come across women like me,” I said as my eyes glowed golden.
Their smile slowly went away while mine grew wider.
I raise my hand in front of them making them both paralyzed.
I use my other hand to move the girl with my powers, freeing her from the guy's grasp. The girl stumbled in front of me so I held her close.
“Are you okay?” I asked with a look of concern.
“Y-yes, thank you,” she said as tears ran down her eyes.
“Go, and please don't tell anyone I was here,” I pleaded. “I'll take care of these boys for you,” I said as I turned back to the men giving them a sharp glare.
I heard the girl run but my attention was caught by the two men in front of me grunting and trying to move.
“It really isn't fun being helpless huh?” I asked with a fake pout.
“Oh! How about we play a game? Would you like that?” I asked then laughed. “Oh I forgot you can't speak, let me fix that for you,” I said and waved my hand in the air giving them the ability to talk.
“You little bitch!” one of them screamed at me.
I gasp. “You guys aren't very nice.”
“Let us go you fucker!” the other guy commanded.
“How about this, I'll give you five seconds to run and then I'll run after you, and if I catch you… I'll kill you.” I said as my smile dropped.
“1…2…3 GO!” I scream as I free them. They ran as fast as they could not wasting and second.
I just waited there and looked at my watch and when it was time to run after them I used my powers to make me fly making my current clothes disappear and turn to my white armor and covering myself with a white cloak.
As I was in the air I could already see the both of them run to a nearby alley. I fly with speed and when my feet touch the ground I start to play with them.
I surrounded them with clones of myself circling them so they had nowhere to go. “You have nowhere to run boys.”
One of them took a gun out of his pocket and the other one a knife. They started attacking the clones of me but every attack just went through my clones while they laughed at the men's pathetic tries.
When I finally got tired of watching them struggle I made one of them float in the air making him drop his weapon the other guy tried to attack me but I paralyzed him into place.
I entered the mind of the guy I held in the air and bent him to my will.
“θα τον σκοτώσεις και τον εαυτό σου (kill him and yourself)” I whispered in his mind and as I did his eyes glowed golden and his face expressionless.
I both let them go and watched as the man I whispered to attacked the other guy.
“Stop! What are you doing man!” the man grunted as they fought each other.
I was gonna watch them kill each other when I felt something in my chest and I felt my power in my veins. My veins are visibly glowing golden.
“What's happening to me?” I question myself as I look at my arms.
I quickly flew out of the alley not caring if anyone sees me.
But as I was in the air something shot the side of my stomach from a distance making me lose control and fall onto a rooftop of a building.
My stomach was bleeding and I tried to cover it up with my hand. When I gained composure and tried to stand up I saw a red entity fly towards me and as I turned my head the other way I saw a black-suited figure jump from building to building going after me.
“Shit!” I cussed out figuring out who they are.
It's the Scarlet Witch and the Black Widow.
I try to fly out of there but suddenly scarlet threads wrap themselves around me making it hard to move.
I breathed in and out catching my breath as I was about to use all my strength to break free from the witch’s spell.
At this point, my whole body was glowing and I could feel the witch’s spell slowly breaking and when I broke free a powerful force blew them both away making the widow hit her head on the cement and the witch fell on the ground.
“Wanda!” I heard the widow scream.
I wanted to help them and apologize but it was too much of a risk so I gathered all the strength left in me and flew as fast as I could out of there.
(Please tell me how I did in this chapter and if there are any errors.) Thank you all so much for the support!!😘
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cachien · 4 months
Text
When I went to the Getty Villa in LA, I had a moment of such profound connection to the artifacts that it rekindled my love of archaeology. It was one of those moments I knew and understood why it's so important to dig up dead people's garbage.
The Getty Villa had a huge Mesopotamian exhibit with absolutely incredible artifacts. Gargantuan Cuneiform tablets, intricate coffins, incredible statues. I marveled at all of it, recalling all my ancient world history courses from college, soaking in every descriptive sign like a sponge.
And then I reached a display case of gold bangles and dangly earrings.
And I started crying. I'm still crying now thinking back on it and it's been almost three years.
I barely even read the sign; I was so caught up in the jewelry. I could see it in my head. I could see the women sitting around a table, their bangles clanking. I could see a husband walking through his front door and presenting his wife with a gorgeous pair of earrings. I could see her showing them off later to her girlfriends, humble-bragging about how sweet and affectionate her husband was. I could see little girls trying on their mother's jewelry, boys sliding the bangles to hang loose on their arms.
All the artifacts before that point were for the rich, and I knew that. High-society literature and the burial norms of the priests in their high temples and the kings upon their thrones. But jewelry- jewelry was universal. From the wives of the highest ranking men to the daughters of the poorest, jewelry could have belonged to any of them. Passed down through generations, peddled on the streets, purchased through labor and barter if not coins, gifted and polished and worn till it lost all gleam.
And it was like suddenly these were no longer artifacts in a museum. I wasn't standing in a crowded Los Angeles museum hall. I was tracing the contours of someone's favorite bracelet, of earrings that once belonged to someone long forgotten. I could feel these women reaching forward through time, their sun-browned hands missing the weight of their bracelets, their laughter echoing in my ears, the light in their eyes shining in my mind. I ached for them. I was them.
It was the most profoundly human moment I've ever had in a museum. The depth of connection by having this everyday, perfectly ordinary group of items in among the boons of kings and emperors is what I look back on the most about that day, what I remember when people ask why archaeology matters.
I don't really know what my point is to this, but it felt important to share. I hope everyone who frequents museums and libraries and academia someday finds that item that offers connection to people who lived 7,000 years before and 7,000 miles away. In the clink of a bangle, we are the same.
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moonologyy · 10 months
Text
The expression of love given to you. 
warnings; none . just fluff .
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If there’s one thing Gabi will admit, she isn’t as observant as Falco.
She’ll admit that wholeheartedly, along with her obliviousness, when it comes to the expression of love. Yet, it happened to her when Falco desired to get married to her and have a prolonged, happy life, confessing his feelings in the midst of a war despite the anguish and sorrow that surrounded them. It was honestly embarrassing to hear Falco explain the concept of it, but she sees it. The idea of love revolves around her. The affection between her family, the love Annie has, pining over Armin as they haven’t made their relationship official, and the love that friends share with each other.
When Gabi visits Levi's teashop a few streets away, she discovers another individual seating near the shop's window. You were unknown in her eyes and quite pretty, particularly with the rays of sunlight emphasizing and radiating among all of your features. Gabi was prepared to hurry into the teashop seconds before she caught sight of Levi's gaze of tenderness, love, and molten gold pouring affection into his eyes towards you. Her steps faltered, coming close to the store, but far enough for Levi to not notice her figure standing around the streets.
You grasped his whole attention on yourself, like you both were the only ones in the entire world, focusing only each other. Nothing else. 
Her jaw drops, pausing in her stead as people ignore her figure, walking past her to their destination. 
In the same way, she felt like the universe paused for her, focusing on the two figures that were conversing with each other. Even from watching afar, Gabi notes the hint of redness on Levi’s cheeks on his scarred face. Gabi felt like she was opening one of those romance novels that women were geeking about in their little tea party. It was abnormal for Gabi to see the proclaimed ‘Humanity’s Strongest’ from Paradis, radiating coldness, and a wall of titanium that couldn’t be broken down, but she doesn’t see that at all. 
Something about watching them both was heart-warming to see. That the man who obviously seems to have lost everything in life has someone that walked into his life, brightening his life. Gabi observes the way you throw your head back in laughter, for something Levi had said, giving you a hint of a small smile from the corner of his lips. 
Gabi came to the conclusion that this established relationship between you and Mr. Levi must’ve been ongoing for a long while.
Then a hand settled on her shoulder, startling her with a yelp, turning to face the familiar blonde. “Gabi! What’re you doing standing around?” Falco laughs from startling her before apologizing. “Uh, it’s just… Do you perhaps want to grab something to eat before we see Mr. Levi?” Gabi speaks without thinking of the context it may come behind, wanting to leave you and Levi alone for a bit, having the blonde and herself overcome with redness. “I-uh,” he stuttered. “Sure?” Falco agrees unsurely with a crack in his voice, having Gabi nervously grasp onto his arm to the opposite direction of the teashop, having no idea where to go to eat.
Gabi didn't bother glancing back, but if she did, she'd notice two pairs of eyes trailing them. You were grinning at them, entertained at how clumsily they were acting with one another, vanishing from your perspective as the gentleman standing behind you sighed in contentment, knowing Gabi must have been watching them and making the choice to leave them alone.
“Hey, you don’t mind if I stick around do you?” You asked, “your little helpers seem to have gone on a little date.” You joked to yourself, waiting for Levi’s response as he felt a flush of heat rush the back of his neck, seeing the pretty smile you give him. 
“Just don’t make a mess in my shop.” 
“You know I don’t leave a mess!”
“At your house, you do.”
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alicerosejensen · 6 months
Note
I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.
If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️
I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.
I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.
There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.
Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.
the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.
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If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.
Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.
Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…
Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.
In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.
Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.
This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.
no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.
You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.
But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"
He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.
For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.
You really didn't give him a chance.
The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.
He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.
You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.
“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”
Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.
You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.
On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.
Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.
“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.
Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.
You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.
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seresinhangmanjake · 1 year
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Daddy Knows Best
Dad!Jake “Hangman” Seresin x female reader
Summary: Jake is very much against having his daughter in daycare, but his baby saying her first word might just make it a little better. (sorry to those of you who read the title and thought this would be smut 😁)
Notes: Suggested by a couple of people. / Part of the Oh, Baby Universe.
**This is a jump forward; Eve is nine months old. It's not the next part in the main series or anything. There's technically still a lot more to happen there first before the events of this fic. It's just a little add on**
Warnings: none, I think. 
Words: 1200
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Jake hated dropping his little girl off at daycare. Hated. It. But after you went back to work at the bar four days a week, there’d been no other choice. The schedules didn’t allow it. For those four days, you got home at three a.m. and he was up at the crack of dawn. He got done with work at four, and you were off for your shift at six. It was complicated. It required some difficult rearranging of the perfect system you’d developed during the first months of your little family coming together. 
But Jake could accept that part. He could accept that Eve was getting a bit older and you wanted to go back to work. You wanted your independence and asked for Jake's support and he gave it. The daycare element, though, despite you mentioning it in the past, was the one piece he still struggled with. He couldn’t stand leaving Eve to mingle with germy rugrats and strange adults. In a room full of toddlers whining for attention, it was impossible for his daughter to be a priority to the women who worked at the center, and as far as Jake was concerned, that was unacceptable. He’d never speak it aloud, but his girl was the princess among those tiny commoners, and that was that. How you had no issue with letting her in such an environment he refused to understand.
Every morning it was a debate in his head as he took Eve from her car seat and walked her to the door of the daycare. Should he take her and run back to his truck? Decide to introduce the concept of ‘bring your daughter to work day’ to his superiors and team? He created a lot of possibilities, but then he’d remember that you would arrive to pick her up at two and he'd face an inevitable scolding if you found out she was never dropped off. 
He really didn’t want to upset you. You didn’t let him so much as kiss you when you were irritated with him and that was not his idea of a good time. But even having that motivation in the back of his mind didn’t ease the pain of letting Eve go. If she would just give him a sign, something to prove she wanted to stay with him that he could relay back to you, he’d feel significantly better when arguing his case.
But no such luck. 
"Baby girl, you don't want to go to daycare, do you?" 
Jake shook his head in answer for his daughter. He didn't care that she didn't understand him—that she could only stare up at him with her big green eyes—he knew what was best for her and daycare wasn't it. Plain and simple. He had no alternative solution to present, but he figured that was a problem best saved for later. 
"No, you don't," he continued as he carried her through the front door of the building. "You want to stay with Daddy. I've told your Mama but she refuses to listen. And I love her, baby girl, you know I do, but she can be so stubborn."
Walking down the cream-colored hallway toward the third door on the left, Jake heard the noises of small children babbling. But they were quickly drowned out by a shrill shriek of excitement once he stepped into the room.
"There's our favorite girl!" the source of the ear-splitting sound said.
Jake frowned. Eve was his girl. His and yours. 
She cuddled closer to him as a young woman jogged over and reached out to try to pull the girl from his arms. When Eve made no move to wiggle free from her father, the woman made a pretend face of disappointment. 
She put her hands on her hips. "Now, Evie—"
Evie? Jake's brow furrowed. When the fuck did his daughter's name change?
"Don't you want to play with your friends?"
Jake glanced at Eve. Like the many similar features of their faces, they shared matching frowns, hers just a tad more pouty from the fuller lips you'd passed down.
"Someone's a bit grumpy this morning," the woman teased, poking at the girl's little arm. "Did we not get a good night's sleep?"
"She slept just fine," Jake said.
The woman looked up at him and blushed under his stony stare. 
"Of course," she replied, bubbly nature still intact. "Well, we're going to have a fun day together, sweetheart." Her hands reached towards him again. "Ready?"
Eve's eyes peered up at Jake and he sighed, shoulders sagging. "Alright, baby girl. Daddy's gotta go now."
She made a little noise that he swore was in protest, but he handed her over nonetheless. Each day he approached it like ripping off a band-aid—an industrial strength band-aid. Quick and, well…extremely painful. But even after months, it was the only way he knew how to do it. 
Reluctantly, Jake gave a wave and turned for the exit. 
"Say goodbye to Dada," he heard. 
Then, "Da–Da."
He stopped in his tracks, bracing himself with a hand on the frame of the door. 
"Oh, how sweet!" the woman squealed as Jake whipped around.
He paused for a moment, replaying in his head what he thought he heard, but when he decided he wasn't in need of a hearing check, he chuckled and walked back over. 
"Ok, give her back," he ordered despite the smile on his face.
"Wha–"
Eve was pulled away and returned to her father's arms before the woman could finish. 
"What did you just say? Did you say Daddy?" He asked as he bounced her once on his hip.
"Da–Da," she repeated, clear and loud and completely unmistakable in her beautiful little voice.
"Oh my god." He kissed her on her forehead and ran his knuckle down her plush cheek. "You are so perfect, baby girl. Do you want to stay with me?"
Out of the corner of his eye, Jake could see the woman start to fidget where she stood. "Um, Mr. Seresin, your wife said that if Eve isn't in daycare to call her. Should we—"
"I'll take care of it," he said, refusing to take his eyes off his daughter. "Have a good day."
He hurried out of the building to his truck and strapped Eve in her car seat. She stared up at him as he worked on cinching the belt just right. 
"Don't look at me like that, baby girl. Mama will forgive Daddy…I think," he said. "Either way, she's going to be so proud of you when we tell her."
He hopped in the front seat and as he started up the truck, he was hit with the realization that, one, he was about to wake his very exhausted wife, and two, he was still expected to work for a living.
"Daddy's gonna have to come up with an excuse to miss work today, too," he mumbled to himself and shifted the gear in reverse. "That'll be fun." 
But he didn’t care. He had to tell you what happened, and there was no way he was taking his baby girl back to daycare.
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flowerandblood · 1 year
Text
Glass Cuts Deepest (5)
[ professor! • Aemond x student! • female ]
[ warnings: angst, fluff, trauma, mention of rape, indecent student-teacher relationship ]
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[ description: A female painting student is finally able to choose the specialisation she has dreamt of - stained glass. She wants to become a student of the best specialist in this field, but he, for some reason, refuses to accept female students into his workshop. She finds out that he once slapped a female student of one of the other professors. Nevertheless, she makes an attempt to find out what happened then and to convince him to teach her. Slow burn, sexual tension, dark, agressive Aemond, great childhood traumas. ]
* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *
Previous and next chapters: Masterlist
_____
She herself did not know what to think about what she had seen. On the one hand, she felt honoured, but on the other, she felt uncomfortable, as if he was showing her some unhealthy kind of attention in this way, which he was obviously ashamed of himself.
For a long time she tried to work out the reason why he didn't let women into his workshop, why he didn't want to cooperate with them. She thought that maybe he was prejudiced, maybe he had a bad experience with them, maybe he had some kind of trauma.
She noticed that he kept a greater physical distance from her than he did from men, as if he wanted to make sure she wouldn't touch him even by accident, when at the same time he had no problem shaking Cregan's hand in greeting.
A strong feeling in the back of her mind accompanied her that there was something more behind it, and once she was left alone with Cregan she tried to gently explore the area.
"Why our professor doesn't want women in his workshop? He had that attitude even before he slapped that girl." She said uncertainly, standing next to him with her mug of hot tea, taking a break for a moment as she watched him work on the Apostle Peter's face.
She heard him sigh heavily and move restlessly, turning anxiously over his shoulder to make sure no one could hear them.
"He doesn't confide in me about this kind of things, but I suspect it's some kind of childhood trauma. He says it's about women being weepy and easily distracted, being too loud and frustrating him. But still his approach is very restrictive and, viewed from a gender equality approach, unfair. Nevertheless, I respect him as an artist and a professional and I think it would be better if we didn't talk about it." He said quickly, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye with a look that told her she wasn't going to get anything more out of him.
She nodded and left, going back to cutting orange and yellow glasses for the golden background behind the Virgin Mary.
From the moment he caught her in his studio the situation between them had been tense and when he wanted to tell her something he sent Cregan to her. She knew he was angry with himself and with her and she couldn't understand what was going on.
She thought he didn't like her, so why had he painted her?
She wondered if maybe he had some issues with his sexuality, that maybe he was ashamed of his desires, the fact that he was attracted to female students and that was why he didn't want to accept them.
One day Ned ran into their workshop and, making sure that neither their professor nor Cregan were among them, approached them with his phone.
"Did you guys hear that? Holy shit. The girl our professor slapped reported Jason Lannister to the police with several other girls he molested. Listen to this:
For years I was controlled and manipulated by him, enervated by him and in love with him, believing that everything others said about him was lies, caused by jealousy or mental illness. Despite the fact that Professor Targaryen spent years trying to get Professor Lannister expelled from the university as soon as he perceived that he might be harassing his female students, the rector did not react, and I myself contributed to the destruction of his image. Incited by Professor Lannister, I went to him and told him many things for which I am ashamed. Professor Targaryen has recently apologised to me for his aggressive response he made at the time, and I want it to be clear that there is no longer any dispute between us, and I hope that if there is a court hearing, he will appear as one of the witnesses to testify and confirm about what we said.
He read aloud, and she swallowed with difficulty, feeling her heart pounding hard, analysing everything she had heard.
The professor had recently apologised to me for his aggressive response.
She felt a squeeze in her stomach at the thought that he had done so after talking to her.
No.
Her words didn't matter to him.
She wanted to speak with him again, feeling uncomfortable, feeling that something had been left unsaid between them.
She didn't dare.
As their work leaned towards completion, and all the glass was slowly fitted into the lead surrounds and brought to its final shape, she watched with pride and joy as her project became a reality, even more beautiful than in her mind.
Her colleague, seeing Our Lady's face, approached her and asked her in a whisper if by chance she had her facial features.
"It just seems that way to you." She laughed nervously, feeling her heart pounding hard, looking at her figure and seeing her face painted so beautifully, melancholy and solemn, not knowing herself what she felt.
During one of the weekly meetings, their professor had announced that in a few days there would be an installation of stained glass windows in a church that was an hour from their town. He and Cregan were to go there to supervise the work, so he was scheduling the tasks they were to do in his absence.
"I think, as always, it would be appropriate to take the author of the project to the montage so she can see the final result of her work." Said Cregan lightly, but swallowed loudly as soon as he saw his professor's deadly stare.
He sighed, clearly furious that he'd said that out loud, that he'd put him in a position where he couldn't say no, where they'd take any other student with them.
It ended up that the three of them were to drive there by his car and sleep in separate room hotels, staying there for three nights, as that was how long the whole montage was to take.
She was excited and terrified at the same time, happy to see her work in its finished, complete form, but on the other hand, she dreaded being in private with them and thanked God that Cregan was going with them.
They had arranged to leave in the morning, having to meet outside the university by the professor's car − she could see from a distance they were smoking cigarettes waiting for her.
Although it was hot she dressed as she would for class, carrying a backpack with her belongings on her back. Her professor did not greet her but took it from her out of politeness − he threw it in his boot and got behind the wheel, extinguishing his cigarette with his boot in the meantime.
They drove along the highway listening to the songs of the band Depeche Mode, which she was very fond of, her professor and Cregan talking among themselves about their other commissions they had to carry out and their deadlines for completing the work, pretending she wasn't there. She settled comfortably in the back seat, looking out of the window, trying simply not to exist.
When they arrived at the hotel they picked up their keys, their rooms were next to each other. They left their belongings and drove to the church to see how looked the windows where the stained glass was to be inserted, which were travelling properly secured with a separate truck.
She marvelled at the interior of the church and its décor and saw that her project would be behind the altar itself, towering over everything around it. She felt her cheeks turn red with happiness at the thought that in a few days, her own design, which she herself had put her hand to making, would shine in these quarters.
She swallowed loudly at the thought of seeing her face in the figure of the Virgin Mary and glanced involuntarily at her professor, who was looking ahead thoughtfully, depressed, sad.
She felt her heart squeeze, feeling that he was still fighting something, that something was poisoning him inside and not allowing him to breathe or function, hanging over him like black storm clouds.
She felt helpless knowing there was nothing she could do to help him.
When the work began they personally checked that everything had arrived whole and no glass had broken, after which the technicians moved on to removing the old windows.
With nothing else to do they went into the local shop to do some shopping, after which they all locked themselves in their rooms.
She thought hopefully and happily that it wasn't so bad, that thanks to Cregan the atmosphere was quite bearable and that she was actually glad she had come with them.
The night was exceptionally hot and she curled up on her bed, unable to sleep, wearing only a white t-shirt and blue tracksuit shorts. She sighed heavily, remembering that her room had a balcony, and got up, hoping it would be a little cooler outside.
She opened the door and frowned, immediately smelling the smoke. She leaned out and saw her professor's shocked face sitting in a wicker chair with his cigarette in hand − she stepped back immediately, confused, noticing that both her room and his had an exit to the same balcony.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled quickly, but his voice stopped her.
"Stay. I'm finishing up anyway." He said lowly, and she swallowed quietly, not sure if she should do that.
She glanced down at herself and her bare legs and sighed softly, walking barefoot out onto the cold tiles. She sat down on the opposite side of the table in the other wicker chair and leaned back, looking at the buildings around them, feeling her heart pounding hard.
She heard something rustle and slide towards her on the coffee table − out of the corner of her eye she noticed it was an open packet of cigarettes. She shook her head and he hummed under his breath, taking a drag on his half-burnt smoke, looking at her intensely.
They stared at each other like that and she felt something hanging in the air, that after she discovered he had sketched her there was a tension between them that she didn't know what to do about.
Nothing she wanted to say seemed right to her.
He let out a loud puff of smoke through his mouth without lowering his gaze, shaking the ash from his cigarette into the ashtray with a tap of his finger.
"Are you afraid of me?" He asked coolly, lowly, but with some hint of amusement from which a shudder went through her. She swallowed loudly and looked at him again, tightening her hands on her knees.
"I'm not afraid. I just don't understand you, Professor." She said with some kind of weariness, lowering her gaze. She heard him chuckle under his breath at her words.
"And what is it you want to understand?" He asked defiantly, tauntingly, as if he wanted to provoke her, toying with what reaction he could get out of her. She looked at him furrowing her brow feeling her heart pounding hard.
"What has happened to you."
His pupil narrowed like that of an animal − she had the feeling his eyes had gone completely black. He took a drag on his almost-smoked cigarette, not taking his eyes off her, one dangerous, dark, the other one empty, dead.
"Careful now. You're treading on thin ice."
She felt the weight of this situation and their words on her shoulders, she felt like something was crushing her − she looked at him pleadingly feeling that this was her only chance, that some part of him wanted this, that's why he told her to stay.
"Please. Please, sir, let me understand." She whispered, feeling that she was breathing through her mouth, all tense, focused only on him, only on the expression on his face. He pressed the remnants of his cigarette to the ashtray extinguishing it, letting the smoke out through his nose.
"I was raped by a woman when I was 16."
She looked at him in disbelief, a powerful shudder went through her, her throat tightened, her eyebrows arched in pain. She felt her lower lip tremble as he continued to look at her with some kind of satisfaction in his eyes as he reached for another cigarette.
He slipped it into his mouth, reached for his lighter and after a moment the warm light of the flame enveloped his face, the cigarette hissed and smoke began to pour from it while he take a drag.
She didn't know what to answer, what to do, what was the right thing to say when someone confessed something like that to you, her heart was pounding like crazy. She felt like her body froze, she couldn't believe he had actually said that to her.
She couldn't look away from his face.
"It's a pity you can't see yourself. They should give a Nobel Peace Prize to every woman who looks at me like that when she learns about it." He said with malicious, cold irony, taking a drag again, more intensely this time, releasing the smoke through his mouth with a hiss of his tongue.
She felt tears involuntarily run down her face, one after another − she wiped them away, but they were followed by more.
He shook his head, sighing disapprovingly.
"Always this crying." He muttered dryly, shaking off the ash into the ashtray with an impatient gesture of his finger.
She got up and walked out, feeling she couldn't take it, closing the door behind her. She burst out sobbing as soon as she hugged her pillow, trying to stifle her sounds, humiliated, terrified and sad, feeling every possible emotion she could imagine towards him, shaking all over.
She shuddered when, a moment later, she heard a knock on the glass − she rose and turned, spotting the outline of his silhouette between the curtains of her window.
"Please, open. I'm sorry." He said loud enough for her to hear him, fatigue and pain in his voice.
She stood up slowly on trembling legs and opened her balcony door. He turned towards her as looked down at her, his lips pressed together.
She saw him swallow with difficulty, lowering his gaze, clearly wanting to say something. He finally let the air out with a loud sigh, as if he had made up his mind that he was giving up.
"I am not a good person. I do and say worse and worse things. I'm tired of myself and the people around me. I feel like I'm spiralling down and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't understand why you cared so much about me teaching you, but what I said just a moment ago was an expression of my pure cruelty." He said lowly, looking at her with some kind of helplessness.
She didn't know what to make of his words − she felt that somehow he was asking for her help by telling her all this, but she didn't know how to give it to him, what to do.
She swallowed loudly, lowering her gaze.
"I wanted to work with you because you are the best. Because you are to me the model of an artist, a hard-working man doing everything with care and attention to detail. I respect you very much in this regard, sir, and I try not to make you feel uncomfortable with me, although I am only now beginning to understand what this discomfort is caused by." She choked out with difficulty, feeling her heart pounding like mad at the idea that this was a conversation that could change everything between them.
He looked at her silently, sadness, fatigue, resignation in his gaze. She thought that in all these years he had not known rest, had not slept peacefully at night, eternally prepared to attack and to react.
She saw, surprised, feeling a squeeze in her heart, that his lower lip began to tremble involuntarily, his eyes glazed over with tears, his brow arched in pain.
He was vulnerable.
"Will you let me touch your cheek?" He whispered in a trembling voice.
She swallowed loudly, shocked, looking at him in disbelief, her face red and wet with tears, her heart pounding like mad.
Oh God.
What should she do?
Did she want it or not?
She nodded involuntarily, wanting to see what it would feel like, whether she would feel discomfort or repulsion, whether her body would automatically try to protect itself from something she didn't want.
She watched, breathing as loudly as he did, as he lifted his large, trembling hand and ran his fingertips over her skin, so gently, tenderly, respectfully, that she felt a tightness in her throat and warmth in her chest, for some reason she felt like crying again.
"You are so beautiful." He whispered in a pained, quivering, breaking voice and she realized that he felt something for her, that was why he had sketched her, why he had looked at her like that, why he now stood before her, heartbroken.
"You are beautiful too, sir." She whispered quietly what she really thought, simultaneously fearing and admiring him from afar, only now from close up could she appreciate the shape of his nose, the outline of his jaw, his full lips, his infinitely dark, mysterious gaze.
She heard him draw in a hard breath at her words, looking at her in pain, his hand stroking her cheek as if she were something precious, valuable.
Vulnerable.
She wanted to lift her hand, to touch him, to stroke him as he did her, but his other hand tightened quickly on her wrist, his breath wheezing in his throat, his eyes widening.
"No. Don't touch me." He said quickly, breathing hard. "Please."
She lowered her hand, looking at him horrified, only now seeing what it had done to him, her heart breaking at the thought of how much he must suffer every day.
"May I touch your hand?" She asked quietly.
He looked at her for a long moment in silence, fighting with himself. He swallowed hard and nodded uncertainly, watching her every move.
She took his free hand in hers, barely touching his fingers, leading him behind her to her room.
"I don't −" He started apprehensively, but she didn't let him finish.
"I know. That's not what I want either." She said quietly, sitting down on her bed, looking at him warmly and calmly, reaching out her hand to him.
"Turn your back to me." He commanded low, breathing heavily, and she swallowed hard.
She did as he asked, and laid on her side with her back to him, feeling her heart pounding as the place between her thighs clenched involuntarily in a feeling that she knew too well.
She felt him lying a short distance beside her, his warm, uneven breath enveloping the skin of her naked neck − she was both terrified and aroused by what he wanted to do, what he really needed from her.
She knew he was looking at her.
She heard him lick his lips with a quiet click of saliva, his mouth dry with emotion.
She knew that something very crucial, very important was happening to him now, and that he didn't want to hurt her.
"Can I touch your hair?" He asked in a whisper, uncertainly, fearfully.
She swallowed loudly and nodded, tense.
She felt him place his large hand on her head after a moment, with slow, gentle movements of his fingers combing through her hair, repeating the same movement again and again.
She felt a pleasant tickle and heat in her heart at this innocent, tender gesture, and for some reason she felt tears under her eyelids.
Despite all the inappropriateness of what they were doing, she felt it was so innocent, so pure.
"Is it pleasant? Are you uncomfortable?" He asked quietly, as if he wanted to make sure he wasn't hurting her, that she wasn't just keeping quiet through fear of him or her own apprehension.
"No. It's very pleasant. I think I'll fall asleep if you don't stop, sir." She whispered softly and he hummed under his breath, the affectionate, soft movement of his fingers through her hair making a pleasant shiver run through her every time.
Neither he nor she moved, lying like that for a long minutes, listening to each other's breaths and the sounds of the street outside the window.
She could smell his intense, masculine perfume and aftershave, the gentle touch of his hand making her calm down at last, filled with some strange, warm feeling, her eyelids growing heavier and heavier.
She fell asleep.
_____
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