#Is he smiling in relief with his eyebrows drawn? Or is he completely relaxed and at ease?

[oftenwantedafton]

Secret Santa - Steve Raglan/William Afton x Female Reader

rating - explicit

~ just a little fluffy Christmas smut ~

also on AO3

When you’d drawn Steve Raglan’s name for the secret Santa gift exchange, you weren’t sure how to feel.

The tall man was a complete mystery. He didn’t socialize in the office, refused to have lunch in the break room, and had never even acknowledged your existence beyond a nod if you directed someone to his office.

You have no idea what to get him that won’t feel completely generic and thoughtless. You refuse to go the gift card route. You know he drinks coffee, but, again, that’s such a boring present.

You’re hovering just inside his office one day, guiding a nervous looking young man searching for a job inside, when you notice the wire rabbit that holds outgoing mail envelopes and a set of car keys set to one side with a rabbit’s foot keychain on the ring. So he likes rabbits for some reason. Okay, you could work with that.

He waves the client forward, already dismissing you.

You spend the remainder of the afternoon thinking about what you could get him that was rabbit themed but also had a practical use. Another prospect led inside and you let your eyes linger on the man himself this time. He’s probably early fifties, dark haired with some white brushstrokes at the temples and through his beard. Creased laugh lines and crows feet on his face, but it suits him. Wide set eyes that you think you could get lost in if he spared you more than the occasional glance—

“Is there something I can help you with?”

You realize the woman seeking employment has already sat down and the pair of them were waiting for you to give them some privacy. You’ve been standing there staring at him like a display in a museum. You shake your head and look away, blushing, but not before you see the twitch of one eyebrow, the dimples creasing the corners of his mouth. Your eyes dart over his striped dress shirt and matching purple tie and you suddenly know exactly what it is you want to get him for Christmas. You murmur an apology and exit the room, a smile on your own features.

***

You settle a pewter rabbit tie clip into a box lined with tissue paper, letting it nestle securely among the soft folds.

You can hardly believe you found something so perfect in such a short amount of time. It’s classy without being too elegant or gaudy, just simple and refined. You settle the lid on the box and affix a bow to the top of the package. You can’t remember the last time you’d been this excited to give someone a gift.

The office party always transforms the bland environment into something special. You love seeing the splashes of color and festive decorations. People are relaxed and happy. There’s an array of treats to choose from but you’re not concerned with that right now, too eager to give Steve his gift.

Of course he’s not among the crowd of your coworkers.

You instead find him lurking in his office, a plate with a cupcake sitting on the corner of his desk, one hand tucked into a pocket while he stares through the open blinds at the gentle snowfall outside.

You knock on the door to get his attention.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but…well, I drew your name for the gift exchange. I’m your secret Santa. Merry Christmas!”

He turns to face you, withdrawing the tucked hand and accepting the gift box you hold out to him. He lifts the lid and removes the tissue wrapped bundle and you hold your breath, rocking on your feet in anticipation.

The pay off is so, so worth it.

His thumb gently smooths over the polished surface of the bar, then runs over the carved pewter rabbit seated in the middle.

“Do you…do you like it?”

He nods slowly, still studying the jewelry.

You exhale in relief. “I’m so glad. I thought you would. I know how much you like rabbits…”

“Shut the door.”

“What?” You blink at the interruption. “You want me to leave?”

He clucks his tongue impatiently, shaking his head and stepping around you to close the solid wood door himself.

“By some strange coincidence, I’m your secret Santa as well.” He moves to the office chair behind his desk and sinks into it, taking a moment to slide the tie bar into place and remove his glasses, tossing them lightly on the desk blotter.

“Wait…really?”

He nods. “And unlike yourself, I was not so certain of what to get for you. Why don’t you come have a seat?”

You move to sit in one of the padded vinyl chairs across from him but he sighs impatiently again, halting your progress.

“Not there. Here.” He points to the broad stretch of his long thighs. “And tell me what you’d like.”

Oh.

You suddenly feel self conscious in your pencil skirt and blouse, sitting side saddle gingerly across his lap, feeling ridiculous and aroused all at once.

One arm wraps around your waist to steady you, the other rests on your knee, drawing soft circles over the nylon covered joint. You clutch one shoulder, the other hand curled around the bicep of the opposite arm.

“I didn’t think you’d ever notice me. I didn’t even think you knew I existed,” you whisper, gasping when the hand on your knee slides between your thighs, his palm hot against you.

He chuckles softly. “Of course not. You weren’t supposed to know.” He smiles, a Cheshire Cat grin that has your heart thumping wildly in your chest. “So what would you like for Christmas?”

The probing hand wedges firmly at the fork of your legs and you gasp. He captures the sound with his mouth, his tongue parting your lips. He tastes like peppermint candy, sweet and strong in your mouth. You moan in frustration when he interrupts the kiss, the hand between your legs abruptly vacating the space of your desire. “Well? I’m still waiting for an answer.”

“You.”

Another dimpled smile rewards you. “That’s my girl.” He moves as if to stand and you follow his lead, sliding down from your perch. His hands reach for the curves of your buttocks, squeezing, kneading, his head tipped down and his mouth back on yours. He fumbles impatiently with the button and side zipper of your skirt and you help him tug it down, stepping free of it quickly, eager to be in his arms again. The nylons exasperate him and he tears them open, working on a run that’s started along one thigh. The material separates, surrendering to brute force and he tugs until he reaches your panties, fingers dipping beneath the crotch so he can touch you.

The career counselor’s fingers slip between the folds and you moan into his mouth, one hand at his collar, the other working on the fly of his pants. The sounds he makes when you finally reach inside his briefs are exquisite when hummed against your throat, deliciously needy and appreciative.

He lifts you easily and sits you on the edge of the desk, your legs automatically parting to invite him against you. One fingers works inside, then a second, stretching your opening further. You love the scratch of his beard against your face, the sloppy wet kisses he plants along your jaw and ear, that hitch of breath when you reach for him again and stroke the underside of his cock just right, smearing precum along the meeting curves.

He shoves your panties to one side and pushes into you without hesitation or preamble, one smooth strong stroke inside until he’s completely sheathed.

You curse, one hand knotted in his hair, the other clutching the edge of the desk for balance. He withdraws, waiting, teasing, watching your expression when he slams back in. Your eyes roll back and you say his name, legs wrapping around him, encouraging him to continue.

“William,” he corrects you, his voice low against your ear. “My real name is William.”

You frown over this information but fuck, does it really matter if he wants you to call him William or even Daddy or whatever, you don’t actually care right now, you just want more of that cock to pummel you, for that hungry mouth to feed off yours again.

You say this new name and he renews his efforts with a fury, the time for teasing long past. Every wet collision brings you closer and closer to release. He fills you so good and hits you in just the right spot, battering until your orgasm hits hard.

You feel the telltale shudder wrack through his body before he spills into you, so hot and Christ there’s so much of it, you can feel it oozing out in a steady trickle when he finally pulls out of you. You’re both panting, shaking, hair plastered wetly to skin. The air smells like sex and cupcake icing and fuck, you’ll never look at peppermint candy the same way again, it’s all you can taste in your mouth.

“William.” You say his name again, trying the sound of it out.

He holds a finger against your lips. You didn’t think eyes that pale glacier color could go so dark. “Keep it secret,” he warns softly.

You nod. “I promise.”

“Good girl. Merry Christmas,” he murmurs, his mouth covering yours once more.

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien Mind Quest: Slow Motion Fireworks translation

do⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

I staggered and stumbled into Lucien's chest, my hands haphazardly pulling his already loose tie, causing his slightly open shirt to spread open completely.

I couldn't help but be captured by the charming bareness in front of me. His muscle tightened and then relaxed following our rhythm.

Like a vague provocative tease.

As if falling into his silent trap, my fingers were drawn to caress his bare skin, feeling the hard, clear lines beneath it.

My fingertips were tinged by the burning heat, and I slowly traced from the hard abdomen to his chest.

Translation under the cut!

(T/N:!! uploaded the full SP MQ on youtube with subtitle because I simply love how the bgm and voice add to the tension)

[Chapter 1]

MC: Hmm… A little more to the left, up a bit…Yes, yes, that's it! Now it's symmetrical!

MC: Lucien, what do you think?

While talking, I pulled Lucien back to the corridor, "appreciating" the New Year's arrangement that we had worked hard on all afternoon with satisfaction.

There are still a few days until New Year's Eve. We plan to keep everything simple and celebrate the New Year at home. So these days, the time after work has been reserved for our tacit project.

I took Lucien's arm and approached him.

MC: Do you think the new look is perfect~?

Lucien: I think it's hard not to be perfect with the Great Producer herself being in charge.

MC: Hmph, sooner or later, I will steal "The Art of Speaking: The Encyclopedia of Praising People" written by the Great Professor Lucien and study it carefully.

Lucien: Then, the next time I say something from my heart, I'll remember to write it down before I say it. So this curious student won't be disappointed.

He smiled with curved eyebrows and a serious tone as if he was simply stating a matter of fact.

MC: I-I can't beat you! Quick, put the stool away and go inside.

While Lucien put the footstool into the storage room, I put the holly into the vase in the entrance and hung a few small red lanterns on the fortune tree.

Just as I was happily taking out my phone to take pictures and record them, an alert popped up on the screen at an untimely moment-

"Unable to Save, Insufficient Storage Available"

MC: ...

Lucien: Looks like another big project will take place tonight.

Lucien: I wonder which unfortunate photos will be deleted by MC this time.

MC: There may also be unlucky app that will turn into dust.

Hearing Lucien's joking words, I couldn't help sticking out my tongue. I dragged him to sit on the sofa and nestled my whole body into his arms.

His familiar warmth gave me a sense of relief, and I couldn't resist nuzzling into the nook of his neck.

Then I skillfully opened the album, emptied the "recently deleted", and slid my finger to enter the thumbnail mode. A colorful mosaic instantly came into view.

I clicked on the last deleted section and went through the photos from that time one by one.

MC: Hahaha, this sticker pack is too funny. How did I save so much?

Lucien: Judging from the saving time at 02:28, this question should be easily answered.

MC: Hehe, Professor Lucien's eyes shouldn't be so sharp~

MC: Check out this barbecue… Is it the one near the institute?

Lucien: I think so. And if I remember correctly, we wanted to eat hot pot on that day, but we accidentally walked into this barbecue restaurant and got a delicious surprise.

MC: So, should we go and relive this delicacy tomorrow after work?

We had a little chat. Lucien raised his hand to stroke my bangs and suddenly changed the subject.

Lucien: Actually, I found something interesting.

MC: Hmm?

Lucien: Each time you clear your phone's memory, you seem to enjoy the process of flipping through your albums more than cleaning it.

MC: ...Yes, that's true. Perhaps "recalling" is the most important thing for me when it comes to organizing albums.

MC: You can save your photos in the cloud to solve the trouble of deleting them whenever you don't have enough memory.

MC: But I'd rather have the hassle and see these memories whenever I click on the album.

MC: After all, since I don't have a super brain like Professor Lucien, I can only use some stupid methods~

As I was talking, my fingertips passed over a beautiful landscape photo. I thought about it for a second and then prepared to press delete.

Lucien: Hold on a second.

I looked at Lucien with some confusion.

Lucien: I remember that this photo is lucky enough to have "survived" last week's session.

Lucien: At that time, the Great Producer said that the composition and light of this landscape were worth studying, so she wanted to keep it as a template for us to follow in our travels.

MC: It seems to be the case…

MC: But surprisingly, I could still feel the same feeling it used to give me when I saw it last week... Is it the visual impact?

MC: But today, I don't seem to feel it at all. It's just a simple and beautiful landscape picture.

Lucien: Is that so?

Lucien paused and faintly lowered his eyes.

Lucien: I think it may be because human emotions are very sensitive.

Lucien: It brings you pleasure for a fixed moment, and the emotion associated with it only stays in that moment.

Lucien: So when it is not "stimulating" enough for you to respond in the present, the brain receives a signal that allows you to conclude that it is "not important".

MC: It sounds like a somewhat cruel process...

MC: But both the phone memory and the brain are limited. I just want my limited memory to record what I want to remember.

Lucien softly laughed, his eyes twinkling as he looked at me.

Lucien: It seems that things that are not "exciting" enough can't have a place to MC.

Lucien: Even if they only existed for a short time, it is difficult to escape the possibility of being forgotten or abandoned.

Seeing that he was talking about it in a serious way, I couldn't refrain from reaching out and hooking my arm around his neck, slightly narrowing the distance between us.

MC: Isn't it because Professor Lucien is by my side?

MC: I wouldn't worry about losing the "excitement" in my life. Because I have someone who can always keep my life fresh.

Lucien: Then, in order to live up to this expectation...

He lowered his head and dropped a gentle, light kiss on my lips as he said that.

Lucien: (whisper) I have to work harder than I imagined.

[Interlude- Lucien's Exclusive Radio: On a Whim]

Pete: Professor, the results of today's experiment are expected to be available tomorrow afternoon.

Pete: Do I need to call you after the results are out?

Lucien: No need. I won't be in Loveland City tomorrow.

Pete: Are you going on a business trip tomorrow?

Lucien: Pete, do I seem like a workaholic to you?

Pete: …You misunderstood, Professor. I had just never heard about your vacation before.

Pete: Then I will compile the experiment's results into a report and send it to your email address.

Lucien: Thanks for the hard work.

Pete: Professor, since I am curious, I would like to ask you a question… Are you going to travel on vacation?

Lucien: Well, not really. Just an unplanned decision to sail on a cruise.

Pete: So sudden? Oh, I see, it must be the idea of your family member.

Lucien: It is my idea.

Lucien: With New Year's Eve just a few days away, it's the perfect time to take a short cruise.

Pete: I see~ So, Professor, which route are you going to choose? It's almost New Year's Eve. I want to take my family out to have fun too.

Lucien: It's still undecided.

Lucien: Because I was just about to book a ticket.

Pete: Oh, oh! I will not bother you.

(Lucien calling someone)

Customer Service: Hello, this is the special line for the cruise ticket purchase. How can I help you?

Lucien: Hello, I saw on the internet that tomorrow there is a trip to the neighboring sea. Are there any tickets left?

Customer Service: Please wait for a moment.

Customer Service: Are you talking about the two-day, two-night trip that leaves tomorrow in the early evening?

Lucien: Yes.

Customer Service: Yes, there are some. What should I call you?

Lucien: Doctor X.

Customer Service: Doctor X, let me confirm with you that we have a special feature on our cruise-

Customer Service: In order to provide a more pure enjoyable experience, the signal is completely blocked once the ship is sailing.

Customer Service: WiFi service is still provided, but it is an additional purchase. Is this acceptable to you?

Lucien: Of course, I chose this cruise because of this feature.

Customer Service: Okay, how many tickets do you need?

Lucien: Two.

Customer Service: Do you share a room?

Lucien: Book me two rooms that are next to each other.

Lucien: If possible, please try to arrange a quiet floor for us.

Customer Service: Okay. I will send the ticket information to your phone later.

Lucien: Just send me my ticket information.

Lucien: The other ticket information can be sent directly to this lady. I will read out her number.

[Chapter 2]

The receding scenery outside the car window passed me by, and I was still in a trance when I looked at the cruise ticket information on my phone screen.

MC: ...Lucien.

MC: Are you sure we're not going shopping for New Year's Eve but going to the pier for a cruise?

Lucien: I think I already answered this question when you received your ticket information.

Lucien's voice came from the end of the receiver.

Lucien: It's not a scam, nor is it a prank.

Lucien: We indeed have a two-day, two-night cruise waiting for us.

MC: But you didn't mention this trip at all until now, and… Why don't we go together?

Lucien: If I were to say that I was trying to copy a certain Miss Kidnapper, would you accept that as a reason?

(a reference to Devotion Date :")

His soft voice is wrapped in a smile, and when I listen closely, I can hear the sound of the waves lapping against the rocks.

MC: Then I now seriously suspect that this "kidnapping" was premeditated!

Lucien: You wronged me. It's really just a "whim".

MC: Are you going to say, "No matter how rigorous a scientist is, there are times when he doesn't plan"?

Lucien: (chuckle) Here's the thing. Just allow this guy to get hotheaded and self-indulgent for once.

Lucien chuckled very shallowly, which led me to raise my eyebrows. He slowly opened his mouth as if guessing what else I wanted to say.

Lucien: I chose this cruise because it will return to Loveland City before New Year's Eve.

Lucien: I don’t think it’ll affect our planned New Year’s Eve dinner.

Lucien: So, for the rest of the trip, Miss MC just needs to enjoy this unexpected trip. I'll see you on the cruise.

After successfully checking in, the staff led me to my room.

The warm sunlight poured in from the terrace, and the sea breeze carrying the water vapor gave a light gold coating to the scenery in front of us.

The large room is neat and bright, but there is no trace of luggage, let alone a person.

Strange, where is Lucien? He should have boarded the ship before me.

MC: Excuse me, is there another gentleman in this room who hasn't checked in yet?

Staff: The only guest information shown here is that of Miss MC.

MC: ...?

I was stunned for a moment. After thinking about it, I took out my mobile phone but found that there was no signal. I hurriedly walked outside with my mobile phone in hand, but the signal was only restored to one bar.

Staff: Miss MC, I'd like to introduce you again. Our cruise's special feature is blocking the signal after we go to sea.

Staff: The goal is to provide cruise guests with the ultimate experience and to enjoy a cruise that is not dominated by the information age but rather to focus on themselves.

Staff: If you have special circumstances, you can contact the service desk for a WiFi purchase.

MC: …Okay, thank you.

After sending off the enthusiastic staff, I couldn't help but sigh. How do I get in touch with Lucien?

I circled the room. Perhaps because of my sixth sense, I vaguely feel that I can find something

Finally, I found a crumpled post-it note on the floor of the entrance door, which appeared to have slipped through the door.

I leaned down to pick it up and saw familiar handwriting.

MC: "Looking forward to meeting you by chance."

For a moment, I felt as if I could see the expression on his face as he wrote this line.

The corners of his lips are drawn up, and he probably curved his eyes.

Although I couldn't guess what this Great Professor was thinking, I couldn't let him down if he was waiting for me to find him.

Without hesitation, I picked up the cruise brochure on the table and left the room.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

20 minutes later.

The red sunset has been swallowed by the ocean, and the sea breeze is gently blowing, but it does not dispel the anxiety in my heart.

I looked in almost every place I thought Lucien would go, from the library to the screening room and coffee shop, but I still couldn't find him.

MC: Where on earth did this guy run off to….

I pursed my lips and wondered if I was going in the wrong direction.

If Lucien is not where he might be, then maybe he's where I don't think he'll be?

With this in mind, I went to the nearest bar to try my luck.

As my vision becomes dim, the sound of loud music rushes into my ears. The air is filled with the scent of alcohol, and the ambiguous atmosphere corrupts the senses.

Within the mottled light and shadow, the whole world seems to be tinted with a hazy sense of unreality.

I saw the figure my heart longed for almost at a glance.

Lucien wore slim-fitting strappy pants, and his collar was wide open. He combed up almost all of his bangs. The light refracted beneath his eyes, making those eyes appear even brighter.

He slightly narrowed his eyes at the countless expectant eyes and raised his hand to throw the dart in his hand.

In the next second, the dart landed squarely in the bullseye.

Crowd: Whoa-

Bartender: Congratulations to the gentleman who scored another 50 points and succeeded in securing the victory!

Lucien: Thanks, I appreciate it. It's just good luck.

Amidst the cheers surrounded by the crowd, Lucien nodded in appreciation. The smile on his face was always mild.

I seemed to be completely nailed to the spot, unable to take my eyes off the person in front of me.

He moved in a way that I am familiar with, yet it was as though everything was different.

For a moment, I couldn't even tell what the cause of this restlessness was.

Lucien cast his gaze over and bumped into me.

My heart inexplicably beat a bit faster. I was about to walk towards him, but Lucien naturally averted his eyes and turned his head to joke with the people beside him.

MC: Eh?

Didn't he see me? I vaguely felt that this person must have done it on purpose, so I pretended to walk back and forth naturally in his peripheral vision, secretly observing.

But Lucien remained calm as if he didn't care about my existence at all.

It was as if I was isolated in a small world, separated from all the noise around me, filled with only one person in my heart and eyes.

Bartender: Anyone else wants to challenge our Mr. Challenger?

MC: I... I want to challenge him!

I didn't expect my voice to be so loud that the atmosphere seemed to be silent for half a second.

When I came to my senses, all eyes fell on me, along with the person I had been looking at.

[Interlude- Lucien's Memory Silhouette: Special Game]

People are coming and going in the corridor of the cruise ship, and the tourists are confirming their room numbers one by one.

Lucien stood in front of the door of one of the rooms, bent down a little, and slipped a sticky note through the door's crack.

The passing tourists just looked at him and smiled politely when they saw his elegant manner without asking further questions.

Lucien stood up, lifted his hand to confirm the time, then turned around and left the corridor.

He wanted to play a little word game with her to kick off the cruise trip with some special "excitement".

As smart as she is, she will not fail to discover this little hidden secret.

But he still hoped she would find the clues he left behind as soon as possible and then find him.

Lucien aimlessly came to the front of the deck, watching people enter one after another from the boarding gate, and his gaze unconsciously lingered for a while longer.

He has to admit that he was looking forward to her familiar figure.

But now is not the right time.

There is still a lot to do before they "reunite".

Lucien looked away, walked to the cruise ship's bar, and ordered a non-alcoholic mojito from the bar.

This was probably the last place she would have thought of, at least not so early.

But it's enough to show that meeting here will bring them something different.

Waiter: Your Mojito.

Lucien: Thank you.

Lucien lowered his head and took a sip, the refreshing and stimulating taste smeared between his lips and teeth. He couldn't wait to recommend this drink to the girl.

With that in mind, he turned on his phone and habitually tried to check if a call had come in, but the space in the upper right corner reminded him that there was no signal there.

So he scrolled the screen twice and unconsciously opened his photo album.

The photos on the screen were so well organized that he couldn't resist recalling the thumbnails of her albums.

Not only are the colors rich, but sometimes there are even several remarkably similar photos in a row.

When compared to her photo album, his own album seems to be quite monotonous.

But all of them are related to her.

It is like when you plant a flower, you record it from when it is still a seed until the moment it blooms.

Lucien recalled the girl's slightly distressed expression due to the lack of memory on her phone and unconsciously smiled softly.

He always planned and arranged everything, so he never encountered the problem she was struggling with.

But her look as if she is facing the world's problems is very cute, which makes him feel much happier when he thinks about it these days.

In this happy mood, Lucien quickly finished drinking the mojito in his hand.

The bar gradually becomes more and more lively, with people's desire for the festival and the wonder of exploring the cruise ship showing in their expression.

What will her expression look like when she sees him here?

Will her eyes widen slightly, or will she purse her lips in puzzlement?

Lucien again admitted that he had added a few more expectations for her appearance.

To be precise, he was looking forward to seeing her with each passing second.

He glanced down at the time again. It would take some time to get from home to the pier. She should still be on her way.

Even he who had been able to spend several years waiting for an experimental result peacefully, now began to feel a little impatient because of this expectation.

He even opened 3 match game by accident, and after absent-mindedly playing a few levels, he suddenly heard a round of applause from behind him.

Lucien followed the sound and found a group of tourists playing darts, seemingly playing in some kind of competition.

He observed for a moment as if realizing something and looked in the direction of the bar entrance.

From the entrance, the darts game is right in the middle of the bar, the most visible part of the entire bar.

Lucien slowly stood up and walked towards the lively crowd.

He wanted her to see him at a glance.

[Chapter 3]

The crowd tacitly dispersed to two sides, and suddenly a narrow road leading to Lucien was spread out in front of me.

I belatedly took a deep breath and walked towards him. Faced with my probing eyes, Lucien calmly looked back.

Lucien: I accept this lady's challenge.

.....Still pretending not to know me? All right, then I will play along with you.

I suppressed the complex emotions in my heart, turned my gaze to the bartender, cleared my throat, and slightly lifted my chin.

MC: What are the rules of the challenge? Or…

I deliberately stretched out the end of my sentence and turned my gaze to Lucien, putting on a polite smile.

MC: Are the rules set by this Mr. Challenger?

Lucien leisurely looked at me and raised his eyebrows as if he didn't expect me to say that.

Lucien: Is it true that no matter what my rules are, this lady will definitely obey them?

MC: Absolutely. Since I'm challenging you, of course I will respect your requirements.

Lucien: [chuckle] Okay.

He didn't hesitate to speak and even curved his lips in a good mood. I suddenly felt diffident and quickly spoke up before he could propose any unreasonable rules

MC: …But I have one small request.

MC: Actually, I was a little nervous because Mr. Challenger seemed to be very good at this kind of game.

MC: I'm also sincere about the challenge, so please don't make it difficult for me. I hope your rules are simple and easy to understand.

Lucien: I've always admired girls with a lot of courage, so naturally, I won't intentionally make things difficult.

Humph, you better be.

He ignored my stabbing glare and pretended to think seriously for a moment.

Lucien: My rules are simple.

Lucien: You have three chances to throw. If the cumulative points of those three chances are more than 50, you will win the challenge.

Lucien: What do you think, brave lady?

His words stirred up a lot of discussion among the crowd, as if everyone didn't expect Lucien's rules to be so simple, and there was even some suspicion that he was throwing the game.

MC: Since Mr. Challenger is so "generous", I can't disappoint this kindness.

Looking at the taunting look at the corner of Lucien's mouth, I gritted my teeth and picked up a dart, carefully gauging the angle. I can't let him underestimate me!

But the result of "careful calculation" is that one miss, one 25 points.

MC: ...

A thin layer of sweat seeped out of my palms as I looked at the dartboard in front of me. I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down.

I still have a chance, as long as I get double points on the last try…

Lucien: [chuckle]...

The familiar soft laugh came to my ears and instantly disturbed my thoughts. I looked at the perpetrator with some annoyance. He was facing the bar and slightly raised his fingertips.

Lucien: One non-alcoholic mojito please.

Lucien: For the lady.

After he finished speaking, he looked at me with a meaningful smile on the corner of his mouth.

Lucien: I think you might need a little more time. While I don't mind waiting, the outcome of this challenge now seems to have attracted too much attention.

Lucien: Maybe it's time to let the curtain fall.

Following Lucien's gaze, I realized that twice as many people had surrounded the surrounding area as earlier.

My cheeks felt a little hot, I lowered my head and rubbed the dart repeatedly, but I was still not ready to throw it.

At that moment, a brightly colored drink slowly appeared in my view. I raised my eyes, and my gaze collided with Lucien's.

Lucien: But if this lady would like to be friends with me...

Lucien: I'll voluntarily admit defeat in this challenge.

His low and deep voice was tainted with an inexplicable flirtation, and my heart suddenly missed half a beat.

The light cast an obscure shadow on Lucien's face, adding a bit of unpredictable danger to those smiling eyes.

He looked like he was expecting an answer or simply admiring the object's reaction in his hand.

I reached out and gently placed my fingers on the bottom of the glass to push it towards Lucien, my fingertips inadvertently brushing against his fingers.

In this challenge that I knew I didn't have much chance of winning, I chose to outsmart him.

MC: Thank you sir, for your kindness, but I still want to try again.

MC: Why don't you teach me by hand? Is that okay?

Lucien's eyes moved slightly as if he were a little surprised. Amidst the booing, he quietly walked behind me and slightly bowed his body.

My back instantly felt warm, and his breath fluttered against my ear, tickling it.

Lucien: Then I'd like to ask for your cooperation.

As he said that, he gently took my hand and led me to bend my arm as he did.

His broad palm wrapped tightly around the back of my hand, and his fingertips suddenly tickled my palm twice in a restless manner.

MC: (blush) You...

Lucien: Don't be distracted. Focus.

His righteous tone was as if he was not the one who did the little action.

Before I could react, he held my wrist with a slight force-

In a smooth parabola, the dart hit the one he had left on the target earlier, firmly striking into the bullseye.

My eyes widened in surprise, and I instantly thought of a perverse idea.

MC: This should be considered as my third chance.

MC: Does that mean I've won the challenge, Mr. Challenger?

I slightly distanced myself from him and winked slyly at Lucien. He sighed in feigned regret and extended his hand toward me in a friendly manner.

Lucien: Mm, you won.

Lucien: It's a pleasure to meet you, this brave, beautiful and clever lady.

Lucien: Now, can we sit down and have a drink?

MC: Of course we can. It would be my pleasure.

I cocked my head pretentiously, gently shook his finger, and withdrew my hand. I looked down and took a sip of my mojito.

The refreshing taste washed away the warmth that had been in my chest since earlier, making my whole body much more comfortable.

The misty light passing through the wine glasses cast colorful light spots on the wall. As the light dimmed, the joyful music changed into a lingering dance song.

(Cue his 5th birthday bgm 🥺)

Scattered people walk onto the dance floor, hugging and clinging to sway along to the melody.

I raised my head and found Lucien's eyes waiting for a long time.

MC: As a thank you for the mojito, may I ask you to dance, sir?

Lucien: It was my negligence to let the lady ask first. I don't think I have any reason to refuse you.

In the lazy melody, Lucien stepped on the beat and took a small step to the left, elegantly extending his hand as if in invitation.

But the moment I approached him, an irresistible force wrapped around my waist and guided me to spin around.

My mind went blank for a moment, and I instinctively clung to Lucien's shoulders, trying to clutch the only fulcrum among the imbalance.

MC: …Y-you, wait a minute!

He didn't give me time to catch my breath. His broad palm slowly moved up to my back, causing a tingling feeling, and then powerfully swept me into his arms.

The scorching breath swept over the tip of my nose, and there seemed to be some kind of emotion swirling in those deep eyes.

Lucien: (whisper) What if I say I don't want to wait anymore?

Lucien: (chuckle, then continuing his whisper) We have wasted some time, so we should hurry now.

MC: You… You are simply unreasonable! You're the one who left a message with no clue, so I had to spend a long time looking for you.

MC: It's hard to find you, but then you pretend to be a stranger, playing some kind of chance encounter game with me…

Looking at my feigned angry pout, Lucien raised his eyebrows with interest and took advantage of the change in the melodic beat to tug my wrist and embrace me from behind.

Lucien: But you played along very well, didn't you? I think you're having fun with it.

MC: And that's not because of you!

Lucien: Oh? What's wrong with me?

His earnest voice is wrapped in bright and bold confidence, so I can't resist lightly pinching the palm of his hand, breaking away from this somewhat flirtatious embrace.

Lucien smoothly hooked my little finger, and with a little force, he made me mess up my steps to go toward him again.

Lucien: Not going to answer?

He looked at me persistently, his deep eyes like a pool of water that would engulf me at any moment.

The strange emotion in my heart stirred and clamored quietly, making me raise my head unconsciously and look straight into his eyes.

MC: Do you want a straightforward answer or a tactful one?

Lucien: (chuckle) I want both.

MC: Aren't you being too cheeky?

Lucien: Mm, I'll admit that.

I couldn't stop my smile, and by some mysterious chance, I put my arms around his neck and let him lead me through the melody.

MC: Now that you are like this, you look like the Lucien I am familiar with.

Lucien: What kind of Lucien are you familiar with?

MC: He's just like you now, righteously rogue, openly wicked, a complete big bad villain.

Lucien: He sounds so bad.

I nod my head in agreement.

MC: But I like this kind of him very much.

The melodic rhythm suddenly became more passionate, and the intense tempo drowned out my pounding heart.

Lucien's eyes flickered. His dance steps suddenly accelerated, making me subconsciously catch up and tighten my arms around him,

Lucien: Do you only like this kind of him?

MC: Of course not… cough.

MC: You, why do you have so many questions! I have a bunch of questions that I haven't even asked yet.

I changed the subject awkwardly, secretly annoyed at my disobedient mouth. Fortunately, Lucien didn't chase the question. He raised his eyebrows, showing a look of listening attentively.

Only then did I realize that the distance between us had unknowingly become too close. I could clearly see his eyelashes fluttering as he breathed.

I don't know if it's because he slicked back his bangs, but today his subtle expressions seem to have become more vivid, or even more…

Alluring.

Lucien: Is your question in my face?

MC: …That is true as well.

MC: After all, I've hardly ever seen Professor Lucien put on hair wax. I don't know how good you are at bar games and…

MC: ..how good you are at dancing.

I said as I slipped my fingers through his straps, sliding them slowly down his collarbone to his chest, and with a wicked hook, I used the force to move away.

The music ends at this moment.

Lucien didn't let go of my hand; instead, he gently lifted my hand and bent down. A gentle kiss fell on the back of my hand, tickling the edge of my heart.

Lucien: When it comes to the first meeting, it is necessary to create a deep impression.

Lucien: It seems that my purpose has been achieved.

Lucien: I hope you'll have good dreams tonight. Beautiful lady, I'll see you tomorrow.

[Chapter 4]

I didn't sleep well all night.

I don't know how many times I rolled over, the thin sunlight squeezed through the cracks in the curtains, and it was finally dawn.

Last night, Lucien turned around and left after saying a few words without glancing back at me.

I returned to my room in a daze, and after a series of emotional struggles, I decided to wait and see what would happen.

But I didn't expect that the person who disturbed my thoughts all night would be staying in the room next to mine.

Perhaps while I was up all night thinking about him, he continued to plan things beyond my imagination wickedly.

And, of course it is also possible that he waited leisurely and calmly for my various reactions to appear.

I gritted my teeth and turned my gaze to the terrace next door.

Is he still up at this hour?

...Damn it, don't think about it anymore! I quickly shook my head, hoping my brain would recover, at least for a short time to enjoy the moment of relaxation.

??: Good morning, Miss Next Door. Did you sleep well last night?

MC: ....

A familiar voice sounded behind me, tinged with a lazy chuckle.

For a moment, I wondered if Lucien had some kind of superpower to listen to my inner voice.

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to be quiet for ten seconds before turning back, and changed to an unperturbed expression the moment I turned around.

The light swayed on his body and slipped into his eyes, creating gentle ripples.

Like yesterday, he slicked back his bangs, making the eyes looking at me look even more bewitching.

My heart beat faster than it should. I blinked at him and looked around in mock confusion.

MC: Are you talking to me?

MC: Sorry, I don't think I know you.

Lucien: Really?

Lucien: We had a dance last night. It breaks my heart if the lady forgets it so soon.

MC: Really?

I imitated his voice and pretended to look up and down at him.

MC: Oh~ I have a little impression.

MC: I'm sorry, I have a poor memory. The lights were too dim last night, and the dance was too short, so it's hard to remember.

He nodded thoughtfully and then changed the conversation.

Lucien: The lady seems to travel alone?

MC: …Yes, just, alone.

Hearing the undisguised teasing in his words, I maliciously popped out a few words, showing a flattering smile.

MC: You also seem to be alone too, sir. You are interesting, traveling on a cruise by yourself~

Lucien: Maybe it's because I want to meet someone who coincides with me.

MC: And, have you met them?

Lucien: Mm. But she didn't seem impressed with me.

Lucien: I'm also a little hesitant now. Not sure if I should take the initiative again….

MC: Of course, you should!

I subconsciously blurted out. Lucien's lips raised an inch of smile.

Lucien: What if she refuses?

MC: ...You should try it first.

Lucien: Then...

Lucien: Would you like to give me the opportunity to deepen your impression of me, the lady with poor memory?

His voice was soft as if it was melting with all the sunlight of a warm winter.

Looking at the neatly folded bathrobe on the sofa, I felt my ears getting a little hot.

Staff: Doctor X, your reservation for the ice sauna room is at 3:30 pm. You can change your clothes in the lounge and sit for a while.

Doctor.X? I looked at Lucien questioningly but found him nodding a little.

Perhaps feeling my persistent puzzled gaze, Lucien solemnly stretched out his hand towards me.

Lucien: I was in too much of a hurry last night and didn't have time to introduce myself.

Lucien: What's your name, Miss?

MC: ....

MC: Producer.MC.

As if he didn't expect me to say that, Lucien was stunned for a moment and then couldn't help laughing.

He lowered his head and came close to me, his overflowing breath brushing against my ear.

Lucien: (chuckle then whisper) The Great Producer can always do something beyond my imagination.

Lucien: (whisper) It's surprising, delightful… and joyful.

Without waiting for my reply, he turned around and naturally took off his coat as if he was planning to change.

It's as if the whisper was just a secret no one knew about.

Seeing that I didn't move, Lucien turned his head back, but his hands kept moving.

Lucien: Aren't you going to change?

He spoke in a sincere and honest tone, which in turn gave me nowhere to hide my secret little thoughts.

I sheepishly turned my attention to the inner ice sauna room, just a curtain away, where the staff was preparing for the sauna.

MC: I was thinking that…

MC: We just met last night, and now you are asking me to "lay ourselves bare"*. Isn't it seem to be a bad idea?

(T/N: 坦诚相见 is an idiom that means that two people treat each other sincerely and tell each other what they think without reservation.)

I deliberately spoke measuredly, secretly observing Lucien's expression, trying to get back in this "role-playing" game.

Lucien squinted his eyes and raised a smile.

Lucien: So, things seem to be moving a little fast.

Lucien: How about we make up for the steps we skipped?

MC: What do you mean?

Lucien did not answer. Under the dense light, his fingertips slowly slid down to the front of his waist, seemingly rubbing a circle.

Lucien: Can you help me?

Lucien: I can't seem to do it alone.

He said it sincerely, and his tone had a hint of grievance. It seems to be a request, but it is irresistible.

As if compelled, I instinctively walked towards him.

MC: What do you need me to do?

Lucien: Give me your hand.

Instead of turning around, he took my hand and made me approach him from behind.

My view was blocked entirely, and I could only feel my fingertips being moved past the scorching heat and to the side.

Lucien's movements were unusually slow as if tracing. Our hands finally ended up on his strap, and he let go of my hand.

Lucien: Help me unbuckle this. It's hard to do it myself.

Compared to the soft and silky shirt, the slightly stiffer texture allowed my fingertips to find their place instantly, but this is not where the buckle is.

MC: I can't see you this way…

Lucien: This buckle is special. It is more convenient to unbuckle from the back.

He spoke with a great conviction that I had no choice but to close my eyes and grope down for the strap buckle.

I held the strap and slipped my fingers between it and his shirt.

His body heat is quietly burning through the shirt. I moved down, and my fingertips trembled when they touched the cold metal.

Lucien: (whisper) You've found the right location.

His voice was a little low, drifting in my ears, and seemed to burrow into my heart from the other side of my chest.

I fumbled with the buckle's position and moved it down vigorously the way I used to unbuckle the strap.

But the buckle seemed stuck, and I couldn't release the strap from the buckle even after going up and down for a while.

Lucien: (chuckle) ....

MC: I...can't seem to find the right place.

MC: Help me out… Wait, no. You're the one who wants me to help you from behind...

As I said that, I felt a little irritated and wanted to let it go, but in the next moment, I was firmly restrained in place.

Lucien: It is very elastic. You have to hold it tightly, don't let go easily.

Lucien: Last night, I was hurt for a long time because of a certain "unintentional act" by Miss MC.

MC: …What kind of nonsense are you talking about!

I want to reach out and cover Lucien's mouth, but I don't dare to let go of my grip on the strap buckle.

At a loss, I had no choice but to use my eyes to hint him that there were other people in the room.

But Lucien obviously ignored me, or rather, he did it on purpose.

Lucien: (whisper) Don't you remember what you did to me last night? Are you so irresponsible?

MC: ...!

I subconsciously pinched his waist, causing the person in front of me to utter a muffled grunt.

As if he was finally done playing, he tugged my fingertips and moved them up and down a bit.

"Click"

Lucien: It seems that I get caught in my own trap.

He let go of my burning hand and turned his face sideways to cast a somewhat deep glance at me, and with his other hand, he pulled down the other strap that had not been unbuckled.

Lucien: I'll take care of the rest myself.

MC: Hmph, you'll have to do it yourself this time.

I was a little dismayed by his mischief. So I stood on my tiptoes and tugged the strap down, intending to buckle it back up.

MC: Didn't you say that you can't do it alone?

MC: I'll buckle it back for you, and you can unbuckle it yourself.

Lucien turned around and grabbed my wrist, my center of gravity was unsteady, and I crashed straight into his arms.

In the next second, an unexpected kiss landed.

The tip of his tongue gently and overbearingly pried open my lips, and his hot breath fluttered on my face.

MC: Lu...

He completely swallowed my whispered words, and his breath was overwhelming.

Instinctively, I closed my eyes and felt his grip on my chin, forcing me to tilt my head up and completely surrender myself to him.

Our hot breaths rose and fell, and my brain became dizzy from the rising heat. I tightened my arms around him, responding to his eager demand.

Until a rustling sound came from the room separated by a curtain.

[Interlude- Memory Silhouette: Terrace Trap]

The lights in the bar gradually became darker, and the music confused my thoughts. I stood blankly by the bar counter, somewhat at a loss.

Lucien left the bar after kissing my hand, leaving me with a racing heart and chaotic thoughts.

Bartender: Miss, do you want to order?

MC: No, thank you.

No matter how lively the bar atmosphere is, without Lucien's presence, there is only dull noise left for me.

I walked out of the bar, through the ornate lobby, the crowded deck, and the long hallway, and returned to my room in one breath.

After closing the door, I realized that I was looking around intentionally or unintentionally all the way just now, looking for that familiar figure. My heart was inexplicably a little blocked.

This Lucien… Why didn't he come to see me?

I took out my phone and confirmed the signal. After thinking for a moment, I went to the bedside and picked up the phone in my room. I wanted to ask the reception desk about buying the WiFi.

But as soon as I put my fingertips on the button, I couldn't help but see those sly and determined eyes in front of me.

MC: ....

I rubbed my face with slight annoyance and put the phone down.

Well, then let's see what you really want to do.

I forced myself to stop dwelling on it and simply changed into a comfortable set of loungewear, pulled open the terrace door, and went outside the room to the terrace.

The sea at night is like wrinkled blue silk, spreading deeply in front of me.

The room I was in seemed to be quiet, with only the sea breeze blowing away some of the mixed emotions in my mind.

It wasn't until I took two steps forward that I caught a glimpse of a familiar figure on the terrace next door.

MC: Lucien?

Lucien: Good evening, Miss Next Door.

Lucien: I didn't expect to see you again so soon.

The man who greeted me was sitting calmly on a cushioned chair on the terrace, holding a foreign-language novel in his hands.

A bathrobe casually wrapped around his slim body, his hair falling in front of his forehead, swaying slightly with the sea breeze.

So much for a leisurely and relaxing vacation time!

When I thought I was distracted by this "culprit" five minutes ago, I felt a hot current rising in my chest.

I wish I could take a big stride and bite him right now, then ask him exactly what he wants to do.

But to deal with such "cunning" people, I must use a more clever way.

For example, treat others the same way they treat you.

Since you want to indulge in this encounter game, I will accompany you to the end!

So I grunted softly, resisted the urge to peek at him, forced myself to look out to sea, and then turned back to my room without a second glance.

Lucien couldn't help smiling when he saw the girl leave the terrace and pull the curtains.

He did show up here on purpose.

In the most direct and somewhat mischievous way, he told her he was in the closest place.

And from a selfish point of view, he also wanted to see her one more time. So he made a little bet with himself that she would show up.

It's like finding an outlet for his own anxious mood.

But looking at her back as she left in a huff, that strange feeling returned again.

Lucien put away the novel he hadn't read and stood up.

It turns out that a flower takes such a long time to bloom.

[Chapter 5]

My brain instantly regained its discarded sanity. I snapped open my eyes and saw the unhurried smile in the corner of Lucien's eyes.

He pressed his palm on the back of my head with a slight force, and his fingertips dug into my hair, cutting off my room to retreat.

Steady footsteps sounded in the inner room, and I quickly blinked at Lucien, but he remained indifferent.

He even pressed me step by step against the wall and closed my eyes, not giving me a chance to breathe.

MC: ...Uh!

My lips and tongue were repeatedly nibbled on, causing a slight twinge of pain, and soon only a tingling sensation remained.

Staff: The room is ready. Now we will give you a brief instructions on how to use the ice sauna room.

Staff: Before entering the room, please…

The sudden unfamiliar voice made me tremble subconsciously but was quickly eliminated by the scorching heat surrounding me.

Behind the thin curtain, I could see the vague silhouette of a person, and I felt as if my heart was about to pop out.

My hands were clutching Lucien's shirt and the unbuckled straps. My ears were buzzing, and I couldn't hear what the other side was saying.

Lucien: MC.

Lucien softly called my name, finally distancing ourselves a little. His breath landed on the corner of my lips, and the end of his voice was wrapped in an ambiguous tone.

Lucien: The ice sauna room has another exit reserved for the staff.

Lucien: (whisper) So, he won't come over.

I blinked and slowly understood what he meant.

MC: Did you already know that? Then why are you telling me just now…

Lucien: Maybe it's because... I'm what you call a big bad villain.

His fingers slowly brushed the side of my neck, the corners of my lips, the tip of my nose, and then he tenderly and lovingly cupped my face.

Lucien: Now that there are no more worries, can I continue?

The kiss that fell again was tender and lingering, like a gentle rain, making people fall deep into it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a very long time, Lucien finally let me go. His arm naturally slid to my lower back while still wrapping me in his embrace.

Then he just quietly looked at me without saying anything.

The air still seemed to be dense with vapor; I was a bit shy from his stare, so I poked him in the face.

MC: You, why do you keep looking at me.

Lucien: Because I want to look at you.

MC: That's an invalid answer.

Lucien: But that's my answer.

Lucien: Because I want to look at you, and I want to kiss you. So when my brain gives these signals, I follow the instructions.

He said it bluntly and frankly, but it made my heart ripple.

Lucien: In my calculation, an unexpected encounter takes a certain amount of time to develop.

Lucien: 48 hours is enough for a relationship to grow from unfamiliar to familiar, with different emotional stimuli.

Lucien: That was my original plan.

Lucien reached out and tucked the strands of loose hair into my ears. He spoke in riddles, but I seemed to understand something.

A sudden softness in my heart enticed me to ask the question I knew the answer to.

MC: So Professor Lucien's carefully planned chance encounter was disrupted by me, right?

Lucien: The subjective factor is you, but the objective factor…

Lucien paused for a moment.

Lucien: It's me who is greedy.

Lucien: I didn't want the things related to me to become boring and ordinary after a long period of time. So I impulsively carried out this somewhat wilful plan.

Lucien: After you appeared, every expression and every movement of yours was beyond my plan.

Lucien: I was left to follow my brain's instructions and impulsively disrupt my own rhythm.

His voice was very soft, but it landed heavily on my heart.

MC: Lucien, have you noticed that your frankness is becoming more and more frequent?

Lucien: Isn't that good?

I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a peck on the corner of his lips.

MC: In fact, I'm also very greedy.

MC: I like this frank and honest you, but I also like the wicked you. I like the occasionally distant you, but also like the rogue you.

MC: The way your bangs are scattered between your eyebrows, and the way your bangs are all slicked back. Familiar or unfamiliar.

MC: No matter what kind of you, I really like it all.

In a trance, I felt like I heard something blooming in my heart.

Lucien looked at me deeply, and after a moment of silence, he slightly raised the corners of his mouth.

Lucien: We might need to reschedule this ice sauna for another time.

MC: What a coincidence. I thought so too.

The afterglow of warm colors falls into the sea, creating a gentle luster on the pink-purple sky.

(from the afternoon at 3.30 pm until twilight…. can you guess how long were they stuck in that room-)

Lucien and I intertwined our fingers. We walked non-stop, started running as we walked, and ran all the way from the deck into the cabin.

The sea breeze blew our hair into a mess, and our clasped hands were seeping with warm heat, but we didn't care at all and still held hands.

It's like two people who have thrown away all shackles, just want to hold the hand of the person they like, and move freely to the same destination.

A huge crystal chandelier hangs above the lobby, refracting the light that looks like falling stardust.

There was a constant flow of tourists coming down the staircase and heading opposite us towards the deck.

I subconsciously looked back at the crowd going against us and felt my hand being squeezed.

Lucien: Do you want to check it out? I heard there's a celebration at sea tonight. There should be a fireworks show.

I shook my head.

MC: Fireworks are not as good as the person in front of me.

MC: I just need to look at you. As long as I look at you, there will be fireworks in my heart.

Lucien: Compared with MC's frankness, my performance can only be said to be unsatisfactory.

Lucien: I would like to ask my teacher to give me more advice, preferably by giving me a small lesson.

His eyes are bent, but he looks humble and sincerely asks for advice.

The sound of melodious music gradually plays and enveloped the whole hall.

The sentimental melody evokes my memory. It was the song that Lucien and I danced with in the bar yesterday.

I looked at Lucien and found that his gaze was already waiting for me.

His tie was loosely tied around his chest, and his collar was slightly open. His clear eyes were particularly bright between the hair that had scattered when we ran.

I couldn't help but laugh and raised my hand to ruffle his scattered bangs.

MC: Mr. Lucien is not as refined as Doctor.X now.

Lucien: Then can I ask you to dance?

MC: You should know very well that there is something else I want to do right now more than dance.

Lucien: And that's precisely why it is more necessary to "warm up" properly.

With that, he took my hand and led me through the dance steps

As the music flowed, we gave each other our warmth against the flow of people.

His familiar body heat seemed to bring me a new experience this time, and I felt Lucien guiding me closer in the gentle beat, stretching my body in a natural and lingering way.

Lucien: Do you know the name of the dance we did last night?

MC: Isn't it ballroom dancing? I don't really know much about dance.

Lucien: It is known as Rumba, the dance of love. It's one kind of Latin dance.

His fingertips entwined seductively around the ribbon of my skirt, gently pushing me away and pulling me back the moment the next note leaped out.

The melody gradually surged and accelerated. The air was filled with a scorching breath.

Lucien: Scientific studies have shown that the waist can be twisted up to 180 times per dance, and the highest heart rate can reach 200 beats per minute.

As he spoke, he led me to rotate and walk with his rhythm, pushing me out and pulling me back according to the inertia of the strength in his hand.

Slowly moving, swaying, spinning…

My heartbeat involuntarily accelerated, as if it had been incorporated into the rhythm of the tempo, rising and falling one after another.

Boom-

There was a sound of fireworks exploding in the distance, and the cruise ship seemed to shake for a moment amidst the crowd's cheers.

I staggered and stumbled into Lucien's chest, my hands haphazardly pulling his already loose tie, causing his slightly open shirt to spread open completely.

A reassuring hand was placed on the back of my neck, holding me steadily in place.

I couldn't help but be captured by the charming bareness in front of me. His muscle tightened and then relaxed following our rhythm.

Like a vague provocative tease.

As if falling into his silent trap, my fingers were drawn to caress his bare skin, feeling the hard, clear lines beneath it.

My fingertips were tinged by the burning heat, and I slowly traced from the hard abdomen to his chest.

A steady, strong heartbeat rose up, and even my heart trembled along with it.

Lucien: I think this dance should be impressive enough now.

MC: How can you still hold a grudge?

He didn't say a word. He just strongly swept me up and dropped a feathery kiss on my forehead.

My whole heart surged like a wave, and I felt inexplicably dizzy.

Everything was spinning. Only his close face was clear, effortlessly occupying all of my vision.

We danced our way from the hall to the room.

My vision was suddenly dimmed, but a brighter light broke through the sky and blossomed in the night with a warm color.

The pouring fireworks dragged a long trajectory, depicting a star curtain.

I eagerly kicked off the shoes on my feet and stepped on the ground with bare feet.

Suddenly, a warm sensation replaces the cold floor and settles beneath my foot.

Seeing myself stepping on Lucien's instep, I raised my head in a daze and met his smiling eyes.

Without words, we just looked at each other. I smiled knowingly and then stepped gently on the other foot.

MC: I always seem to fall into Professor Lucien's trap unconsciously.

Lucien: Rather than saying it was a trap, it was better to say it was a silent and open invitation.

He took a step to the right, and I took a step away with it.

Lucien: Besides constantly creating freshness in life, I always want more.

Lucien: I want our experiences to be exciting enough for them to be engraved into your memory.

Lucien: (whisper) And what I want, only you can give me.

MC: I'll give it all to you without reservation.

The night is long and lit up with fireworks.

In that moment, we seem to meld into one.

[T/N: Those fireworks in the end aren't actual fireworks if you get what I mean- But anyway, what a great MQ :" D. I genuinely enjoy it from start to finish. This one has made me cry, laugh, and h-word at the same time asksks. The game between these two is always enjoyable to read lol.

There's no big sad here, but if you think about it, the whole plan is caused by his insecurity,, the way he overthinks stuff that MC said to him, worrying if things related to him will feel boring to her, and ends up devising a whole plan to bring more 'excitement' to their life. The memory silhouette hits you with the fact that although this person seems calm and indifferent, he also suffers as much as her when they're separated. Guess it's a good thing that although his plan got wrecked, at least they did find excitement in this date huh-

I am currently translating Top Up SSR, which I think complements this SP MQ that covers the same 'theme'. So, I hope y'all will look forward to it? Thank you for reading!]

[babyboiboyega]

I can explain (Shangqi x f!reader)

Shangqi x f!reader

Prompt: “When everything’s going wrong, the mere thought of you makes it right.” + never wanting to pull away kiss

Content: a little angst, but more fluff

Word Count: 1.6k

Babyboiboyega’s Marvel Masterlist

A/N: this is my first ever time writing for Shangqi (or Shang-Chi), and I already have a lot of other ideas for this incredibly loveable character.

I hope you all enjoyed this!

A heavy sigh left Y/N’s mouth as she unceremoniously dropped onto her couch. The feeling of her limbs relaxing into the cushions almost prompted a moan of relief to follow the heavy sigh. It did, however, make her eyes flutter closed as she leaned her head back.

Y/N had been thinking of this moment the entire day. The moment when her week ended and her weekend began; a weekend of not having to deal with rude, angry-at-the-world customers who decide to yell at her because a privately owned publishing warehouse doesn’t print the book that they want. Or the customers who don’t check their emails for their tracking information and then get mad at her, for some absurd reason.

Another sigh leaves her mouth, and this time with the sigh goes her thoughts of work, entering the empty air for the weekend. 

But being off on the weekend didn’t exactly mean being absolved of texts and calls from fellow coworkers, ranting about customers, or even management. So when her phone’s ringer went off, signaling a new incoming text, she simply kept her eyes closed. She certainly had enough time to read and reply...but maybe later.

The text had already migrated to the back of her mind in the span of a few seconds...and then her phone went off again. This time, two quick “dings” sounded through her apartment. 

Her eyes opened before she slowly sat up, her phone coming into view. Before she could spare another though about her phone and it’s notifications, her hand quickly reached for the remote and pressed the power button.

She managed to flip through a few channels before her phone rang once more, and this time it was accompanied by a few knocks on her door.

Completely disregarding the fact that it was almost 11 at night and she hadn’t been expecting anyone, and being fueled by her now very obvious annoyance, it only took her a few strides to reach her door. In all honesty, she’d had no idea what she was going to say to whoever was on the other side of her door; but whatever had been ready to leave her lips died as soon as she opened the door.

“Shaun?”

She hadn’t been able to control the volume and surprise in her voice, and she saw his grimace in response. She couldn’t find it in herself to care if he didn’t like the volume in her voice; the very next emotions she felt surge through her body was...well, it was a cross between worry and anger. 

“Y/N...hey.” He had a sheepish smile on his face; one that showed off his dimple. One that she had to restrain from returning. But then she remembered the last time she had seen that same smile and the last time she had even heard from him. Her eyebrows raised incredulously.

“‘Hey?’ ‘Hey’?? That’s all...that’s all you have to say to me after being gone for...a month? And some weeks?” 

She could hear the hurt in her own voice, and it made her want to cringe at herself.

‘He could have been doing more important things than worrying about you’ is all that went through her mind.

Her arms crossed self-consciously in front of her.

“Please, let me explain. It’s… it’s actually crazier than you think.”

The hesitance on her part came from her nagging thoughts that flipped between “he was genuinely busy” and “he’s about to make up some absurd excuse for why he hasn’t spoken to you while also letting you down gently”.

“May I come in?” His eyebrows were raised as he gently asked for her permission. Y/N quickly nodded and stepped to the side before her thoughts could scare her too much.

His eyes stayed on her as he stepped past her, entering her apartment. She took a second to take a deep breath before closing the door behind him. 

She briefly wondered how her face looked as she turned to face him. Did she look as hurt and worried as she felt? Could he see her feelings on her face?

“I’m sorry for disappearing for...as long as I did. And I’m sorry for not reaching out at all during that time. But I can explain why.”

His eyes followed her figure as she walked slowly around her kitchen counter. He made no effort to hide the pleading look in his eyes, and he only began talking when Y/N raised her eyebrows from across the counter. 

“Okay. Just...bare with me.” Y/N’s eyes narrowed and more questions filled her mind as she watched him take a breath as if he were bracing himself. 

Y/N hadn’t known what to expect when he had started talking, but she definitely wasn’t expecting a story filled with martial arts, trained assassins, ancient organizations, soul-sucking demons, and dragons. 

Even after he had explained everything, his eyes watching and waiting for her reaction, she still couldn’t find the words to express herself.

Her body was frozen in its same position, and her eyes were wide and staring right at him. As the silence stretched between them, he couldn’t help grimacing slightly once again.

“Also, my name isn’t really Shaun. It’s Shangqi.”

That last piece of information seemed to finally shake Y/N out of her stupor, as she blinked quickly and let out a quick breath. 

“I...I don’t know what to say.” In all honesty, all of this was kind of making her head spin, and it was evident in the way her breathing picked in just the slightest. 

“W-What exactly do you say to someone who’s just saved the world? ‘Thank you’? ‘I owe you my life’- because, I guess, technically, I do owe you my life. Because of you, I still have my life- or my soul.”

At her rambling, Shangqi’s expression shifted from one of wariness to relief to a little worried. It had only just crossed his mind that he was worried that she wouldn’t believe him, and not worried about how she would receive the information.

She believed every word that had just come from his mouth, simply because she knew that he wouldn’t lie about something like this. She knew that he wouldn’t lie to her… at least she hoped he wouldn’t.

“You don’t have to say anything. I...I just needed you to know why I was gone. The thought of letting you go one more second thinking I just...left you was driving me crazy.”

A humorless laugh forced its way through Y/N’s lips. 

“Yeah, thinking I had driven you away was driving me crazy too.”

Before she could even regret her words, her eyes were drawn to Shangqi, whose head was shaking quickly. In a few steps, he had walked around the counter, coming to a stop a few feet from her. 

“That was never the case, I swear. You could never drive me away, not even if you tried.”

At the minuscule smile that appeared on her face, he risked taking another step forward. 

From where he stood, he could smell faint traces of her favorite perfume that had slowly worn off during her day. Her favorite perfume had quickly become his favorite scent, simply because it reminded him of her. 

From where she stood, she could easily see the faint signs of exhaustion on his face. No doubt from the strains of the last month and a half. It made her want to reach out to him. 

“Every second, from the moment we left, all I could think about was coming back to you. Even while staring into the face of a-”

“A mega soul-sucking demon?”

The quiet laugh that left his mouth seemed to weigh on her body, but not with pressure. Instead, all she felt was warmth, and it coursed through her veins with the power of 11 suns.

“Yes,” there was laughter in his voice as he responded, “even while staring into the face of a mega soul-sucking demon.”

As he spoke, he had gradually moved forward until taking a deep breath would easily have their chests brushing against each other.

Y/N couldn’t keep the tremor out of her voice as she spoke, her eyes flickering between Shangqi’s.

“You...you really thought of me when you were saving the world?”

Her eyes fluttered closed as his hand raised and gently cupped her cheek. Soon after, she felt pressure from his forehead connecting with hers. Without hesitation, her own hands lifted, coming to grasp at his sides, desperate to pull him closer.

His breath fanned across her face as he spoke, and it made her hands tighten.

“When everything’s going wrong, the mere thought of you always makes it right.”

His words were quickly swallowed by Y/N’s lips pressing against his with fervor. The hand that was on her cheek gently titled her head back as he kissed her back with just as much passion, while his other hand wound around her waist. They both pulled at the other, as if they couldn’t get close enough. 

The warmth that had been coursing through her veins quickly turned into leg-numbing electricity the longer their lips were connected. Her eyes were closed, and so were his, but they could both see the other’s face behind their lids, surrounded by the stars their presence created. 

The only thing that could pull them apart was the need for air, and even then, as their foreheads connected and their lips stayed hovering over each other’s, they breathed the same air.

Shangqi’s words were shaky as he spoke, his thumb rubbing circles into her skin.

“You make everything right.”

**********

Once again, I hope you all enjoyed this! I would take requests for this character, but I still have a ton of requests for LOK....

But maybe sometime in the near future!

In the meantime, I would appreciate it if y’all would interact in any way with this! Comments, criticism, questions, etc would be amazing, as would reblogs, but even just liking this helps!

Stay safe, y’all!

[bubblyhoney]

buncha kisses

warnings: mature language, Good music mention, slight suggestive content, lotta name calling!, basically just fluff

tags: sapnap x fem!reader (a continuation of [renamed from “a collection of moments at the beginning of your relationship”] win for me, basically, with college!au)

words: 1447

A/N: a very sweet anon requested a continuation of college!au with sappy and had some great ideas for me! i love when you guys interact and talk with me pls continue to do so! been receiving a lot of really encouraging attention from some of my favorite people (ahem, for example @strawberrymilkgeorge [among others] <3) so i just wanted to say thanks for that :)

-

It’s a sticky day in May.

It’s that kind of hot that irritates under the skin and works its way through the hair on your arms. Makes you want to either rip your skin off or sink into a pool full of ice.

May is a month that Florida doesn’t take very well; it’s either raining like it’s the Great Flood, or hot as a mosquito’s ball sack.

And to make matters worse, it’s the due date of a huge calculus project. Like— weighted heavier than the final kind of huge.

You’d gotten up three hours before your final at 9 just to cram. Your desk was littered with folders, chapter notes, and highlighters dull with use. A half-eaten bagel was off to the side, staling by the second.

That was before your AC broke. Yup. Broke. Ka-put. Just full on died—it was almost audible. Your roommate had stumbled into your room, face creased with sleep, and cursed for thirty seconds straight.

Completely understandable, actually.

But you didn’t have time to fret about the damn temperature. You just took your shirt off, kicked the box fan near your bed into the highest gear, and breathed hot anger down into your notes.

The only relief you would find would be lunch with Sapnap after your final. His apartment had air conditioning, and he was surprisingly deft with a knife and cutting board. Dude didn’t know how to figure the mechanics for emailing his film class project to you that one time last semester but could whip up a Greek salad and broiled chicken like no other. Your own little Gordon Ramsey.

He was yours now, officially. As of last month he was yours. A month full of drive-in movies, failed study dates, and an absurd amount of McFlurry’s.

And that’s what is waiting for you in Sapnap’s cup holder when you swing your way into his car with an exasperated look on your face. You just melt, eyes flicking up to his gratefully and silently taking it.

“How was the final?” He lays a hand on the gear shifter and nudges the AC up one more tick. The door closes behind you and you shuffle your legs apart, leg hair tingling in this heat.

“It was fucking brutal. I think I developed an ulcer just looking at the reference page,” you huff and he just shakes his head, laugh hot on his lips. “Absolutely not worth the studying—think I got a good grade, though.”

“Well, that’s cool. I’m proud of you.” The engine chugs to life when he shifts into drive and starts for the side street.

“Thanks.” Your cheeks blush ever so lightly but you pass it off to the heat. A moment passes. “So.” The straw makes a choking noise as it nudges at the bottom of an empty cup. Jesus, you finished that fast. “What’s on the menu for today?” Brandy’s Sunny Day lilts softly into the blasting air as you settle into a comfortable conversation, schoolwork at the back of your mind.

“Thinking of making banana chocolate chip muffins and pigging on those. Thoughts?” Flicking on his left turn signal with his left hand, the right slides onto your knee.

It’s never too hot for that.

“Sounds perfect,” you reply, voice small in a sudden bout of shyness. He double-takes with a smile, squeezing once at your leg.

Pigging is a perfect term for what you two do the second those muffins are out of the oven; it is too easy to shove three of those in a matter of seconds. Bellies full and in a sugar coma, you two lay under the whirring of his living room’s fan and stare up at the ceiling.

“This feels so good,” he mumbles, eyes half-lidded. Reaching a hand out, he pats his way to your hand and takes it, immediately squeezing it. “Wish you were kissing me right now.”

“Oh, yeah?” You taunt and hike a leg up onto his hips, swinging onto his lap and leaning to get your lips near his.

And that’s that.

The night is perfect.

Sapnap ushered you into his car at midnight and within four minutes you were on a US freeway with your head out the window. Like a dog.

A lone bird flies past in the dark air and you watch it swing into a patch of trees. You just close your eyes and breathe.

The stress literally melts. Melts into a puddle and drips out of you, falling onto the black pavement whipping past at a moment’s notice. School is a bitch already, much less an American college education. Grades and tests and professors and GPA’s and all that.

You swear Logan Lerman’s character knew what he was talking about when he said “we were infinite” in The Perks of Being A Wallflower. That’s what this feels like: infinity. Going 70 in a car driven by your hunk of a boyfriend, feeling the wind in your hair and the taste of midnight in between your teeth.

The inside of the car feels sweet when you duck your head back in, smile wide and hair crazy and a content look in your eyes. Sapnap gives you a glance before looking back at the road nonchalantly and lifting to curl and twitch two fingers at you. You instinctively move forward, eyebrows drawn together in curiosity. Three fingers grip your jaw tight, and then his mouth is on yours as the chorus of The King swells through the speakers. You only get two seconds to hum in happiness and slide a hand up his chest before he’s pulling away and has those beautiful eyes back on the road.

“You’re mean to me,” you sigh, and settle back into your seat with a ‘hmph’. He just looks smug. Bastard.

The nights Sapnap plays video games with his friends are—hm. Definitely something. You like to let him have those nights with no distractions most of the time; and you’re categorized as a distraction by the amount of times he “lags” when giving you a kiss or getting you on his lap.

Tonight, he got off work early and on the drive home called and asked if you’d come over and sit with him while he Robloxes with his friends. (“It’s like you can’t go one day without your hands on me,” you’d teased, but he couldn’t say a thing in response. You were right, needless to say.) “You can bring your paints!” he’d even added, knowing you like to watercolor as a hobby. You weren’t necessarily Etsy-worthy but it was fun and a stress-reliever.

And so here you were. Legs crossed, sketch pad in your lap, watching your adult boyfriend yell so loud that his voice cracks and breaks with every change of tone. You really had to remember to apologize to his neighbors…

“Baby—,” Sapnap starts, swinging around in his chair to hit you with a look so pouty his lip was in danger of falling off. “My dear girlfriend. My lovely woman.” His question doesn’t even need to be asked— he wants you to go get him a drink.

“You’re a misogynist. I’m calling NOW on you.” But you’re already heaving yourself off of his mattress and heading into the hallway, faux-annoyed look on your face. It melts into a smile upon seeing that little canvas mounted on the wall next to the door to his bathroom. It was a haphazard portrait of his parent’s dog Bowser that you’d drawn the few days his step-mom forced him to bring you home over spring break.

When you return to his room a few minutes later with a Bang and a couple of snacks for yourself, Sapnap has his headphones off and is swinging his feet in his chair like a child waiting for their parents to pick them up from school. You approach him, apprehensive smile on your face, and hand his drink over.

“Thank you,” he drawls, mid-yawn, and sets it down on the desk. Snaking an arm around your waist, he drags you between his legs and stuffs his face into your shirt. He inhales deeply but pulls away after a pause, hands tight on your abdomen. You press a thumb into his cheek and rub fondly at his facial hair, watching the way his eyes close calmly and relax.

“You’re so cute it causes me physical pain,” is all you get out before leaning and pressing a kiss square on his pink lips. They move against yours like they were meant to, one hand sliding up the material of your shirt and onto your warm skin.

“You smell like Subway,” he murmurs, and then the moment’s over.

Typical.

-

A/N: ask or send me some stuff!! requests, rants, anything. :D let me know what you think in the comments!

[seasonofthewicth]

Rowaelin Month - Day 3

prompt: a secret relationship

extras: multiple povs

cw: one very brief mention of nsfw topics

word count: 3k

--

Fenrys knows his friends think of him as the joker of the group, and yeah he is hilarious, but there’s more to him than that. He can read the room, can pick up on the subtleties of whichever of his friends might need one of his jokes more than others on any given day. It’s a skill that makes him observant, watchful of people, and he notices things.

He’s not sure if Rowan and Aelin think they’re being subtle, and he’s not sure which of his other friends have picked up on the same things he has, but he’s pretty sure Aelin and Rowan are sleeping together.

He’s not completely sure, he doesn’t have any concrete evidence and they still act normally in the group, but he knows what he saw on the night of Elide’s birthday. He and Rowan have lived together for years and Aelin has crashed at theirs any number of times before but, until that night, she’d never emerged from Rowan’s bedroom the morning after wearing one of his t-shirts.

The material had completely drowned her. The short sleeves had hung to her elbows and the hem had been well down her thighs. She’d seemed somewhat… sneaky as she’d crept into their kitchen in search of coffee.

He knows not to read too much into things, friends share clothes all the time. He’s lost many hoodies to the collective wardrobe owned by their group of friends and he’s still pissed at Lorcan who he knows still has his The Cadre t-shirt from the gig they had attended a few years ago.

What Fenrys also knows is that friends don’t stand at the kitchen counter, holding the neckline of their friend’s shirt to their nose and grinning like an idiot.

He needs to speak to Aedion.

Elide has been friends with Aelin for years and that is more than long enough to know she’s almost always guaranteed to be late to their coffee dates. She’s not bothered, it gives her a few extra minutes to sip away at her own coffee reading her book with the general hum of the coffee shop lulling her into a comfortable rest.

It’s not long before her friend breezes into the coffee shop, the bell above the door ringing and signalling her entrance. It’s very Aelin, her entrance. The wind sweeps in fluffing her golden waves and her steps are full of purpose as she strides towards Elide.

“Sorry I’m late.” Aelin all but throws herself into the seat opposite Elide, smiling a bright smile for the relatively early morning they’re sharing.

“Don’t worry about it,” Elide says, finishing off her final swig of her first coffee. “Want me to go and get our drinks?”

“No, Ellie,” Aelin says, waving her hand. “First one’s on me. I was late, I’ll make it up to you.”

Aelin squeezes her hand before breezing back out of her seat.

She’s back only a couple of minutes later, finally relaxing into the large armchair she occupies. “So, what’s new with you?”

“Nothing much,” Elide shrugs. “Work is tough but nothing I didn’t expect.”

“I’m sure you’re smashing it,” Aelin says with a grin, then places her hand against her chest. “My little Elide, registered nurse taking the world by storm.”

Elide smiles, it feels good to hear those words, after all the sleepless nights and sweat and tears she’s finally where she wants to be.

Aelin continues, “You’re not pushing yourself too hard are you?”

“No,” she says and it’s the truth. “And even if I was, Lorcan is being wonderful.”

Aelin fake gags and Elide shoots her a mostly joking glare. “I find that hard to believe.”

“He is,” she says, thinking of the bath he had drawn her the night before and the massage he’d given her when she complained of her feet aching.

Aelin shifts in her seat as she nods along and the neck of her t-shirt slips down to reveal the ghost of a hickey on her friend’s collarbone. Elide raises an eyebrow.

Aelin looks down before grinning wickedly.

“Anything new with you?”

Aelin’s answer is interrupted by the arrival of their coffees in the hands of a handsome waiter.

“A large mocha,” he says and Elide raises a hand, “and a large cappuccino with cinnamon.”

Aelin raises her own hand. The waiter sets their drinks down, his eyes lingering on Aelin for a minute before he slowly backs away.

“Enjoy,” he says, his eyes still locked on Aelin. “Let me know if you need anything.”

He turns with a wink and Elide raises her other brow at her friend.

“Are you going to get his number?”

Aelin shakes her head. “Not today.”

Elide hums a response before leaning forward in her seat. “Why? You’d usually be all over someone like him, he’s exactly your type. Tall, muscular without being jacked, his curly brown hair, cheeky smile…”

She trails off when Aelin cracks a smile. “I guess I’m just not feeling it today.”

Elide wants to ask why again, she honestly might go over and get the guy’s number for her friend, when Aelin changes the subject rapidly.

“Are you going to Rowan and Fenrys’ later?”

Elide doesn’t process the change of topic until a little later on, once a couple more pieces have slotted into place. Eventually she’s pretty sure she’s worked out why Aelin didn’t want the cute coffee guy’s number.

She needs to speak to Lorcan.

Lorcan Salvaterre doesn’t like Aelin Galathynius.

He tolerates her at best for the sake of the rest of their friends but that said, he still probably wouldn’t want to see her hurt.

When Lysandra puts the message in the group chat-At the hospital with Aelin, dw they think it’s just a sprain-he reads it, absently thinks how he probably hopes she’s okay, and moves on with his day. He’s on his way to meet Rowan at the bar and if anything, Galathynius would want them to raise a toast in her honour.

What Lorcan doesn’t expect is the restless jittering of his best friend’s leg beneath the table, sloshing precious droplets of beer onto the table that his friend doesn’t even seem to notice.

“What’s the matter with you?” he asks as he slides onto his seat opposite the silver haired man.

“Nothing,” Rowan says quickly but his leg keeps up the restless pace.

Lorcan signals to the bartender for his own beer and turns back to Rowan. “Dude, chill out. There’s clearly something up with you and I’m not having you spill my pint.”

Rowan finally notices the state of their table and stills his leg. “Sorry,” Rowan says, using some of the beer mats scattered across their table to mop up the spill.

Now Lorcan really is confused. Usually Whitethorn would cuss him out over apologising. He doesn’t really know what to say.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he ignores it as Rowan lurches for his own phone. He reads whatever’s on the screen then scowls and locks it again, placing it face up on the table. His knee begins bouncing again.

“You’re being weird,” Lorcan announces.

“Fuck off,” Rowan says and there’s the Whitethorn he knows and loves.

Lorcan opens his mouth to speak again but his phone buzzes and Rowan again lurches for his own. He chews at his lip as he reads whatever’s on the screen and so Lorcan bothers to dig his own phone out of his pocket.

It’s the group chat. He has a couple of unread messages, just Aedion and Elide expressing their concern for Galathynius as expected, nothing exciting. He locks his phone and places it on the table in front of him, watching Rowan for his next move. He’s definitely being weird and Lorcan has no fucking clue why.

His phone buzzes again and the screen lights up with the latest message. It’s Galathynius, he can tell from the stupid crown profile picture she has.

I’m alive, her message reads, just a sprain but I’m gutted bc I wanted a cast so you all could sign it.

Rowan is on his own phone when Lorcan looks back up, he’s tapping away but Lorcan doesn’t see any messages from him in the group chat. His knee has stilled under the table and Lorcan swears there’s something that looks like relief on his face. Relief? As if there was ever any danger of Galathynius not being fine.

Wait.

“Why the fuck are you so worried about Galathynius?”

Rowan’s eyes narrow and he carefully tucks his phone back into his pocket.

“I’m not,” he says but it sounds somewhat like a question and Lorcan isn’t convinced.

Until he decides he doesn’t give a shit enough to ask any more questions, Whitethorn seems back to normal and if Galathynius being fine is the reason for it he can think about it later.

And probably speak to Fenrys.

Aedion is drunk.

Like truly and utterly wasted.

So far a good night.

The rest of the group are somewhere dispersed around the bar but he’s happy here, tucked up in their booth, resting his head against the cushioned velvet while the room spins around him. He’s pretty sure Aelin is still in the booth with him and it might be Rowan with her but he’s too lazy to open his eyes to check.

He can hear the pounding base of a song he doesn’t recognise and he could fall asleep right here, somehow lulled to sleep by the beat and the volume of alcohol he’s consumed.

He doesn’t mean to listen to Aelin and Rowan’s conversation, even though he’s pretty sure it’s not intruding if they know he’s sat right there, but pieces of their conversation spike his attention.

“You don’t want me to stay at yours tonight?” he hears Aelin ask and Aedion is intrigued.

Lysandra is out tonight so Aelin has a safe ride home with her roommate and no need to crash at Rowan and Fenrys’ apartment.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to.” Rowan’s voice is low and hard to hear over the music. “But Fenrys is out with us and if I say I want to leave he’ll join me, then you know he’d ask questions.”

Aedion from tomorrow is screaming at him to pay attention to this conversation and so he keeps his eyes closed to try and listen in. He’s almost holding his breath to try and hear their voices over the noise of the bar.

They’re quiet for a moment and he’s so tempted to crack his eyes open.

“I know,” he finally hears Rowan say. “I’m sorry, Fireheart. We will.”

Hearing the term of endearment drop off Rowan’s lips is too much, it’s weird, he didn’t realise the two of them were close enough for Rowan to know about the nickname his cousin has. He risks opening one of his eyes to just a thin slit.

He’s not ready for what he sees.

Aelin is tucked under Rowan’s arm, resting her cheek on his chest. Rowan’s chin rests on the top of his cousin’s head before he softly presses his lips to her hair.

Aedion has many questions. He immediately closes his eye. He’s drunk, he can’t trust his eyes.

He hears rustling and then definitely his name from his cousin but it doesn’t sound like she’s talking to him.

Then, “Aedion.” Rowan’s voice has him blinking his eyes open and lifting his head from the booth.

They’re separated now, sitting with a couple of inches between them on the seat. Maybe he didn’t see them cuddled up a minute ago, he’s not sure.

“Drink this.” Rowan is holding out a glass of water, his tone leaving no room for protests.

“Hey,” he hears how slurred his voice is and catches Aelin’s laughter. “Thanks bro.”

Aelin puts her face in her hands. Rowan doesn’t crack, just waves the glass of water in front of him. He reaches out to grab it but he can see more than one of his hand reaching for the glass.

“Gods,” Aelin says, looking at Rowan. “Maybe you should take him home.”

“I will,” Rowan agrees quickly, looking at her softly and Aedion has about a million more questions. “I’ll get him to drink this first.”

Aelin nods and he finally manages to take a hold of the water and downs it in about a minute. Rowan slides out of the booth and holds a hand out to Aedion. He lets his friend tug him up and begins his stumble to the exit.

He feels Rowan pause behind him and catches the words, “meet you at yours afterwards.”

He manages to spin and see Aelin smiling as she leaves the booth too. He doesn’t bother to think about it, he probably won’t remember tomorrow.

He’ll ask Lysandra.

Aelin’s hand is clammy where she holds Rowan’s.

It’s the only sign of the nerves she feels, this conversation has been brewing for a while, and regardless of their friends’ reactions she’s happy with Rowan. Honestly, it’s only been about a month in total since that one night for Elide’s birthday that changed everything, but she thinks she might be falling for him.

She can’t believe she thought he was a dick when they first met. Well, she supposes he is a dick. One of the first things he ever said to her was that she was a spoiled brat but, in his defense, she’d just called him a stuck up bastard.

Now though she loves the thrill of his quick mind. Loves the way he can tease and taunt her until she’s trembling beneath him and about a second away from begging. She loves the soft kisses he presses to her hair when he knows she’s had a bad day, she loves when he comes back from work with a slice of chocolate hazelnut cake under his arm because he knows it will make her smile.

What she doesn’t love is keeping this a secret from all of their best friends. It started out as embarrassment, after they slept together on Elide’s birthday she didn’t know what it was, didn’t know if they’d just fucked everything up, didn’t know if their friendships were about to implode.

But then it happened again, and again and again, until it’s four am and she’s pressing her lips to his one last time so she can sneak out without Fenrys noticing and be home before Lysandra wakes up.

The sneaking around was hot at first. His hand over her mouth holding in her whimpers as he fucked her on the couch he shares with Fenrys, when he slid the pillow between her bedframe and the wall when Lysandra had texted asking if she could hear that weird banging noise, all the times they had cut it a little too close. But now, it’s exhausting.

She wants to be able to hold Rowan’s hand and kiss him without the wariness pooling in her stomach and she knows he feels the same.

“Guys,” she says loudly to the room filled with their friends. Rowan squeezes her hand where they’re hidden beneath a couch pillow. “We have something to tell you all.”

Five pairs of eves pivot to her and she swallows.

“Rowan and I are… dating,” she says slowly, as though she’s unsure of how the words will go down.

There’s a beat of silence before their friends erupt.

“I knew it!”

“I fucking told you they were.”

“Pay up you bastard.”

Lorcan scowls, pulling out his wallet and Aelin blinks. She did not expect this.

“Wait.” Lorcan holds up a hand. “Before I hand over any cash we need details. Dating or in a relationship? How long have you been dating? Who asked who? Who started this? Most importantly; when?”

She looks to Rowan who’s green eyes reflect her own bewilderment.

“Um,” he starts unsurely, “we’re in a relationship.” He punctuates this with another squeeze of her hand and she grins. The feeling of his fingers linked through her own spreads warmth up her arm before settling in her chest. “It started a few weeks ago.”

Her friends are all leaning forwards, still waiting.

“When exactly?” Lysandra asks. “Like what was the date?”

“Well, the first time was the night of Elide’s birthday.”

Fenrys launches himself out of his seat. “I fucking told all of you.” He holds his right hand out starkly in front of him. “Pay up all of you, I was right.”

There are complaints and grumbled protests but Fenrys ends up with a handful of twenties and Elide a couple of notes herself.

“Wait,” Aelin says, brushing a hand across her forehead as if this will somehow clear it up. “You guys bet on us?”

That seems to still the commotion coming from the other side of the room.

It’s Aedion who speaks. “Yeah,” he says in a way that sounds like duh. “You didn’t think you were subtle did you?”

“Kind of,” Rowan says eventually, leaning forwards to brace his elbows on his knees. “We weren’t obvious. And none of you ever seemed to let on.”

“Bro, are you serious?” Aedion laughs as Elide and Lysandra snicker.

“You seriously thought we never knew?” Lysandra sounds as baffled as Aelin feels. “All those texts I sent when I knew he was over? All the mysterious unnamed hook-ups on nights you and Rowan both disappeared together? All the times you’d think you were subtle but your lipstick would be on his neck? We have been waiting for this.”

She’s laughing and Aelin feels a bubble of laughter in her own throat. She can’t believe it. It had seemed to reach a point of obviousness but none of them had ever commented.

“I can’t believe you all knew,” she cries burying her face in her hands as Rowan slings an arm around her shoulders and pulls her in close. “Why did none of you say anything?”

“It was against the rules of the bet,” Fenrys says seriously and Rowan uses his other arm to dig his bicep, his laughter rumbling in his chest beneath her.

She smiles into the fabric of his shirt as the group erupts again, bickering over who knew first and who knew the most. Aelin doesn’t care, it’s gone better than she could have imagined and she has Rowan and her friends and she loves them.

A secret relationship no longer. It feels good.

[helliontherapscallion]

Phantasmagoria (Adrenaline Junkie Part 16)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of injuries, death, depersonalization, grief

REMINDER: you are real. the topics discussed in this is fiction and not reality. you are loved and valid, hydrate and eat 3 meals a day <3

Word count: 2,645

You were in and out of it for the next few days. Whenever your eyes would crack open and you would even slightly move your arm, you would be in immense pain before you would pass out again. You could sometimes hear the voices of your family talking to you, but never Arthur. Good, he definitely shouldn’t see you like this. 

Whenever you heard Philza, he would be talking to you about all the journeys he’s been on in his hundreds of years of living. Oh yeah, you found out that he was an immortal being that can’t die. Your brain was too tired and clouded to contemplate it. 

Whenever you heard Technoblade, his monotone and deep voice always eased your worries. It gave you something to focus on; if anything, his voice was the one that cut through the fog the most. He would always recite Greek myths to you, often telling you that you reminded him of a few characters. 

Whenever you heard Wilbur, all you heard was him asking you questions such as ‘how was your day’ or ‘what do you think of someone-so’. He would talk to you as if you were conscious, often having one sided conversations with you. Sometimes he would bring his guitar and compose new songs, asking you if he should keep a lyric or if he should throw it away. 

Whenever you heard Tommy, it broke your weak heart. It was like your little brother was a completely different person; his usually loud and upbeat tone was reduced to a quiet and broken one. He was the one that wouldn’t talk much, instead he would sit with you and eventually after a day or two (you think) of silence he would play his jukebox. But whenever he did talk (which was rare) he would tell you how scared he was seeing you like that on the table. 

As time passed, you could feel yourself slipping deeper and deeper into your subconscious. It was like you were fading away, but you couldn’t fight against it. You wouldn’t fight against it; you could feel your pain fading and it was a great relief. You only wished you could hear your family’s voices before you completely left them, they were fading as well. Eventually, everything slipped into nothingness and you felt… euphoric. 

When you opened your eyes, everything was black. You were sure that you had your eyes open, so why was everything so dark? Was this the afterlife? You expected it to be more… heavenly. However, you weren’t complaining; your entire body felt light and you felt waves of peace waft over you. This was nice. You didn’t have much time to relax while you were living. 

After a while of staring into nothingness and just peacefully floating in one place, you became restless. Sure this was nice, but your hands itched to tinker with something. You’ve never done well with sitting in one place for too long, that’s always been your weakness. You tried to push your body off from anything so you could at least float around, but that proved useless when there was nothing to push off from. When you tried flapping your wings- well, wing- you only succeeded in spinning in circles. At least you thought you were spinning in circles, the inky abyss was unchanging and it was starting to mess with your perception. Your senses felt like they were deprived, but the worst thing about it was the overwhelming silence. 

So, you talked to yourself to fill the ringing silence. You were merely voicing your thoughts, repeating your lessons you’ve taught Arthur over the last few weeks. After a while, you were running out of things to talk to yourself about. So, you sighed and crossed your arms. They were very pale, you were actually dead this time, huh? You could only wait to see your brothers and Arthur when it was their time, hoping that they wouldn’t come to you too soon. It pained you to remember that you would probably never see Philza again, but who knows; the universe has a strange way of working. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, (y/n).” You screamed at the soft voice that cut through the overwhelming silence and whipped your head around. There stood a woman that looked to be in her early thirties with long black hair and tanned skin. You could not see the upper half of her face as it was covered by a crow mask, however her eyes glowed a bright white. She was smiling at you with melancholy and bittersweet happiness. The two giant white feathered wings sprouted from her back were glowing slightly. The powerful and intense aura that loomed around her was the complete antithesis of the gentle smile she was giving you. 

“Calm down,” she flew over to you and wove her hand in the air. You immediately felt a wave of calm ease over you. “That’s better. You’ve been through so much, my little fledgling.” Her little fledgling? That was something you’ve recently started to call Arthur. 

“Who are you?”

“Oh where are my manners? I’m Kristin, the Goddess of Death. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but I’m here for your life.” You hummed, “that makes sense.” She tilted her head slightly and somehow the eyeholes of the mask morphed into an eyebrow raise. Was that her actual face? “You’re not scared of death?” 

“No, I’ve already died twice- no, three times already. But this is- it’s different. Is that because I’ve lost my last life?”

“You’ll find out in due time. Ender, you’re everything Phil described you as and then some.”

You perked up slightly, “you know my Dad?” Her airy chuckle brought you even more at ease, “of course I do, he’s my husband.”

You gaped at her, “so does that- does that make you my mom?”

“Only if you’re comfortable with it, I wouldn’t want to push you into something you didn’t want.”

“I’ve always wanted a mom. D-don’t get me wrong, Dad’s done more than enough for me he’s an amazing parent-”

“I understand and I’d love to be the mother of someone so smart. You’re destined to do great things one day, my little fledgling.” You tilted your head slightly, “greater than being an inventor?”

She nodded, her black locks swaying with the movement, “greater than being an inventor. Our time together is coming to a close.” She flew over gracefully and pulled you into a hug. You reciprocated it. Her hug felt warm and welcoming. It was hard to believe that she was the Goddess of Death, you always thought Kristin would be ruthless and cruel. 

“You will face many trials and tribulations and you must persevere through them. This is indeed your reality, but you share it. Do not be afraid to ask for help. The world can be a lonely place, but remember that you are never truly alone.” 

She pulled away from you and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, the beak of her mask poking you. Suddenly, the weightlessness feeling disappeared and you felt a tugging sensation from deep within your chest. Your body was sent flying through the abyss, the gripping sensation you felt in your inner chest felt very intimate somehow. After a bit of screaming, you were still flying through the void. You had no idea how long you were flying for, but eventually you just crossed your arms and went limp in the mysterious embrace. Aaaanny time now. 

Eventually you saw a pinprick of light far off into the distance and it was rapidly approaching you. You sighed out a drawn out “finally.” And watched as it came at you at mach speed. After you crashed into it, everything went white. 

You jolted up with wide eyes and looked around panting. You saw the walls of your childhood room? So you didn’t die? Then what the hell were you doing in the void? You were so sure that you died permanently. That you lost your last life. When you glanced out the window, everything was dark. When you sat up, you felt the familiar tugging sensation of the scar tissue around the base of your wing, except it was less intense and you had less mobility in your right shoulder. You glanced at the hearts on your wrist expecting to see three empty outlines. Instead, two ruby red hearts stared at you.

Impossible. Impossible. You were in your last life so even if you didn’t die, you should still only be in your last life. Your second life was taken from you in an explosion. It should not show up on your wrist. Furrowing your eyebrows, you ignored the sound of the door opening and footsteps rushing towards you. You ignored hands appearing in your vision and hovering unsure above your hand. 

You only looked up when the hand grabbed your wrist and blocked the two perplexing ruby red hearts. You saw Philza with a look of immense relief on his face. “How’re you feeling?”

“I don’t know.” You looked back at your covered wrist and took it out of Philza’s grasp, staring at the two red hearts again in confusion. “I-I should only have one life. Where’s Arthur? Ender, he’s probably so scared. Did you leave my prosthetic in the cave?” Your rapid fire questioning was stopped by a hand on your shoulder. 

“Slow down, you only just respawned.” You threw your hands up in frustration (well, you tried with your right arm, it only moved to about two thirds of your full range of movement before you felt a slight pain and a stretching sensation), “how the hell do I respawn when I was on my last life?” 

“You aren’t-”

“Yes I am! Fuck man, how do you forget that?! First time: Warden. Second time: explosion! I know I just died for the last time, so how am I still here?!” You glared up at him. It astonished you that he just forgot about the first two times you died. Who forgets their own kids’ deaths? It takes a real monster to forget things like that. 

“(Y/n), you’ve only died once and that was because the infection you got was too severe,” he put a gentle hand on your shoulder and pulled you into a hug. You pushed him away and seethed, “How do you not remember! Ender, did the last two and a half years just escape you? You’re fucking immortal, almost three years is nothing to you!” 

“Two and a half- (y/n). Two and a half years ago you were fourteen and you were barely just learning how to do tricks midair.”

“No, I’m twenty years old! How the fuck do you forget your own kid’s age?” 

“You turned seventeen six months ago, (y/n).” 

You ran a frustrated hand through your hair and laughed sardonically, “I’m not dealing with your bullshit right now. Where’s Arthur?” You stood up with shaky legs and swatted his hands away. “I don’t know an Arthur. Please lay back down, you’re-”

“First you forget my deaths, next my age, and now Arthur?! What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Where is he?” You gritted the last sentence out through clenched teeth.

“Who-”

“Curly red hair, freckles, always smiling, about yay high,” you flailed your hand from side to side rapidly at your mid torso, “your grandson. That ring a bell?”

“No because I don’t have a grandson. Sit down, I think I know what’s happening.”

“No. Not until I see Arthur.” You brushed his shoulder as you walked by him and out of the room. You could hear him following behind you, but you ignored him. After you ripped Arthur’s door open, you paused in the doorway. 

The entire room was decorated with Wilbur’s belongings. Instead of random bags of redstone dust and small contraptions that Arthur was too proud of to throw away, piles of sheet music and the occasional book was strewn about. Instead of the poster of you Arthur had hung up on the wall (you had laughed at it at first, he still geeked out over you even though you were his parent), a picture of the family was there. Despite it being a sweet picture (it was one of the very few ones of the family where everybody was smiling at the artist and not moving around), it shook you to your core. “A-Arthur?” You whispered in a broken voice. What was going on, where was he? 

You faintly felt someone put a hand on your shoulder. You however stood frozen clutching the door handle in your hand until you walked over to the nightstand. It was completely barren except for the glasses case sitting near the lamp. This isn’t right, this isn’t right at all. Arthur’s things should be there, not Wilbur’s. 

“No, no, no, no this isn’t right.” You broke off into mumbling while staring at Arthur’s (or Wilbur’s?) nightstand desperately trying to find the feather hidden somewhere. Once again, you felt a hand on your upper arm. “Everything’s right, (y/n).” You said nothing as you stared at the glasses case on the nightstand. “C’mon, let’s go sit down.” You barely registered him leading you gently back to your room and handing you a glass of water. “(Y/n)?” 

“Why is his stuff just- just gone? Everything was there before I left.”

Philza was silent for a moment, his feathers ruffling and brushing against your arm. “...Sometimes when a person’s been through something traumatic and they’re about to die, they sort of… make up their own reality without knowing that they’re doing it. It’s the brain’s way of coping. 

“This reality could last anywhere from a few days to years for them with the events seeming real, but in actuality only a few minutes have passed and nothing that the person thinks happened actually happened. It’s just the person’s subconscious mind playing out scenarios that they think would happen or wished had happened.”

You felt like you were previously walking on a stable sheet of ice before you were plunged into the icy abyss of unknowing. You felt several emotions coursing through your veins ranging from anxiety and frustration to grief and disbelief. The cup of water in your hands became incredibly blurry before you were pulled into his chest. He wrapped his arms and wings around you tightly and held your face securely against his shoulder. He started rocking you back and forth as you felt the tears silently leave your eyes and your breathing shudder. You felt yourself start to sob when a barrage of thoughts came and the reality of the situation hit you.

None of your inventions actually existed.

L’manberg doesn’t exist. 

Your name was unknown.

The last two and a half years were pointless.

Arthur doesn’t exist. 

Your precious Artie, the little boy that idolized you, begged for you to teach him everything you knew, followed you around like a little duckling, held your feather against his chest as he slept, enthusiastically asked you if you could take him flying, your little fledgling, your pride and joy, your son, didn’t fucking exist. You were never going to see his smile again. You were never going to laugh with him as you took him into the clouds. You were never going to cook breakfast with him again. He was never going to give you magnets again. He was never going to ask you to teach him something or ask you to help him with his own inventions. He was gone and there was nothing you could do to get him back. 

“I- I prom-mised him that I’d never leave him.” You sobbed into his shoulder, clutching onto his shirt. “I fucking promised him and I’m never gonna see him again.”

(A/N): ok so a little explanation, chapters 4-mid 15 didn’t actually happen. It was in the reader’s mind as after they passed out in chapter 3. There was foreshadowing (esp in chapter 4, I consider chapter 4 to be the chapter where the brain is getting used to the illusion it set up (hence the title “what is real”)). It explains why the reader couldn’t remember their own death. The line “You were probably still in the cave bleeding out as your delirious mind turned stone into the comforting walls of your home. You were probably imagining hearing your dad’s voice in a last chance to comfort yourself as you neared your impending doom” was pretty self explanatory. In the last chapter, the souls saying “wake up, we need to get you out of here” and “don’t leave me” were Philza’s voice cutting through (”The voices ranged from... familiar to unfamiliar”)

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[uvobreakmylegs]

Pretense

got inspired by @ramwrites​‘s Inked piece. in the same story setting but it’s Hisoka’s s/o

Warnings: blood, mentions of death, very slight yandere behavior

The inside of the tattoo parlor was a lot cleaner than the outside, you decided. That's at least one thing it has in it's favor. Although that doesn't change the fact that you really don't want to be here. Especially since the woman in charge of the shop is not only willing to work for the Phantom Troupe, but also goes ahead in branding the significant others of the troupe.

'Branding' had been the way Hisoka described it, and it sounded pretty accurate. When you asked him why Chrollo would go so far to mark the partners of the troupe, Hisoka had answered with “boss just likes to make sure the most prized possessions of the troupe are marked as such. Cements it further for the more.... Resistant ones.”

Hisoka was currently wandering about the room, inspecting the tools next to the chair before looking to the artwork on the walls, softly humming to himself whenever he spotted a design that he liked. You were sitting in the chair at the center of the room, your legs dangling off the side as you waited for the tattoo artist to come back in. Your hands were folded in your lap as you tried to keep your mind from going crazy with scenarios of how this could go wrong. When it came to the Phantom Troupe, you wanted to have as little contact as possible. Being around them scared you, even more than Hisoka could whenever he got into that state where he was particularly unhinged. And while the woman doing the tattoo wasn't a member herself, just the fact that she was in close contact with Chrollo made you more than a little nervous.

On the other hand, Hisoka was relaxed, and almost seemed a bit excited as he came up behind you to rub your shoulders encouragingly. You turned your head to glare at him, but as usual, he smiled back at you, not taking the look you were giving him seriously.

“Alright, where did you want this thing?”

You turned at the sound of the woman's voice as she reentered the room. She sounded tired, and based off the way she grimaced at the sight of Hisoka, she was probably getting flashbacks to when she needed to tattoo the spider onto his back.

Hisoka tapped on a spot just below your shoulder blades.

“She wants it in the same spot as mine so we can match,” he said cheerfully, “isn't that cute?”

Stupid bastard.

“Sure,” she answered dryly before looking at you, “if you could take off your shirt and lay on the chair; I'll get the stencil out and we can see how the placement looks.”

You wordlessly obeyed, pulling your shirt over your head and folding it in your lap. When Hisoka took it to place it elsewhere, you laid on your front, holding on to the top of the chair to try and ground yourself.

You barely felt it when she placed the stencil on top of your bare skin, and Hisoka quickly agreed to the placement.

“All right, easy enough,” the woman said, more to herself than either of you. But she looked back to Hisoka, motioning with her head as she told him “you go back out to the lobby. I'll let you know when we're finished here.”

Hisoka shrugged.

“Alright then.”

A wave of panic hit you, and you struggled to find your voice for a moment.

“W-wait.”

They both looked at you.

“Could... Could he actually stay with me?” you asked.

Hisoka looked amused. The woman looked annoyed.

“Why?” she asked.

“I don't like needles,” you mumbled.

There was a certain level of disgust that she leveled at you in her gaze, and when Hisoka grabbed a chair and pulled it up so he could sit near the spot where your head lay, she asked “seriously?”

“How could I possibly leave her when she needs me?” was Hisoka's response.

“..... Fine. But you,” she said, jabbing a finger at Hisoka, “need to keep your damn mouth shut.”

Hisoka smiled at her.

She huffed as she got her tools ready.

And you lay still, letting out a small sigh of relief.

When you felt her hand press down on your back and heard the buzzing of the tattoo gun, you reached out for his hand, to which he obliged, taking your hand in his and gently rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

It stayed relatively quiet for some time, the only noises you could hear in the parlor being the soft music that played in the background and the constant buzzing of the tattoo gun. The tattoo was slowly taking form on that space on your back, the giant spiderweb with the number 4 in the middle.

She brushed over the areas where the needle had gone in every few seconds, wiping up the blood that came up after.

“This one bleeds a lot,” she grumbled.

“Oh? You aren't feeling nauseous at the sight of a little blood, are you?” Hisoka asked.

She glared at him, probably for breaking his agreement of keeping quiet.

“It can affect the end product if someone bleeds too much and I can't see the stencil because of it.”

“Aren't you a professional?” Hisoka shot back.

“I'm not saying I can't do it,” she snapped back, “it's just annoying.”

“Of course,” he answered, chuckling a little.

The woman chose to ignore him, turning her attention back to you and the design she was etching onto your back. Nothing more was said after that, and you found yourself focusing on the feeling of Hisoka's hand on yours. The callouses on his fingers, the edges of his slightly too-sharp nails that could cut through your skin if he really wanted to, and how his thumb continued to brush over your knuckles. Just that was enough to keep you calm in this situation.

“You need a break?” the woman asked you after a while.

“I'm fine,” you answered.

“Okay. Well, I need one, so let's take five,” she said, putting down the gun, “if you need the restroom, it's out the door and to the right.”

She left the room without so much as a word to Hisoka, who let go of your hand as he stood up and stretched his legs.

“There's a snack machine outside; should I get you something?” he asked you.

“I really don't want to eat anything from this place,” you said.

“Not even something sweet? Might be good for you, lift up your spirits a bit,” he said, rubbing the top of your head.

“I think you deserve a treat.”

You batted his arm away.

“I'm not a goddamn dog,” you grumbled.

He didn't react to the way you pushed his hand off of you other than to laugh a bit. He then turned away and left the room while you laid your head back down. It had been at least a couple of hours, and you hoped there wouldn't be too much left to finish with the tattoo. Too bad it was on your back and you couldn't get a good look at it to determine how far it was from being finished.

The woman came back in just as Hisoka did, the latter of which was holding a small bag of hard candies. They both sat back down, the woman looking over you and seeing that you hadn't moved at all.

“You sure you don't need a break?” she asked.

“I just want this stupid thing over with,” you answered.

You couldn't see it, but you sensed the way her eyebrows raised at your tone and how she looked over to Hisoka. The clown didn't say anything, instead ripping open the candy packaging with one of those sharp nails and popping a few of the sweets into his mouth.

After a few seconds of nothing happening, she seemed to shrug her shoulders and picked the gun back up to continue with her work.

“Didn't think you were so lenient, Hisoka,” she said after a moment, “the previous number four wouldn't have let his partner speak like that.”

Hisoka actually scoffed at that.

“Like I care.”

The woman didn't say anything to that and continued with the inking process. But now your curiosity was piqued, and you tentatively asked her “the other number four had this done, too?”

“Yeah. Can't quite remember what they looked like now, but he was one of the first to get his partner tattooed.”

“What happened to them after he died?” you asked.

“You mean after he-” she glanced to Hisoka- “killed him? Nobody checked up on them and they starved to death.”

You felt your blood chill at that. There were lots of painful ways to die, but starving to death would be such a long, drawn-out process; to just slowly wither away as you grew weaker and weaker as your stomach caved into itself and you lost so much strength you would no longer be able to move. Whatever fate had in store for you for when you died, you hoped it wouldn't be something like that.

Whoever that poor bastard had been, you hoped they didn't suffer for too long.

“Guess I'm not surprised you couldn't be bothered to let them out after you started with the troupe,” she said to Hisoka.

He shrugged.

“I didn't even know they existed until after they were dead. No one told me about this arrangement. Blame the other members who actually knew about the situation before you blame me.”

“You were the one to kill him,” she pointed out.

“If he wanted to keep his place he should have been stronger,” he said, placing another piece of candy into his mouth, “if it mattered that much to you then why didn't you let them out?”

“I'm not paid for that.”

“Ah, of course.”

There was silence after that, and another hour passed. Hisoka decided to entertain himself by slipping pieces of the hard candies past your lips one at a time, his sharp fingernails scratching your lips. You ended up slapping his hand away after a certain point, much to the mild astonishment of the tattoo artist.

“Still can't believe you of all people would allow that,” she said, “other members of the troupe would have been raging.”

“I don't like things that are broken,” Hisoka answered, running a hand through your hair.

“Pets are much more fun when they have a bit of bite.”

She couldn't see the way you glared at him for that comment.

The completion of the tattoo couldn't come fast enough, and it was of great relief to you when she finally pulled back and announced that she was done. She was saying something to Hisoka about how to take care of it to avoid infection, but you didn't pay it much mind, instead grabbing your shirt that Hisoka held out to you and pulling it over your head.

You paused ever so briefly during that, as you felt the sensation of something dripping down your back. You were quick to pull the shirt down the rest of the way, glancing back and finding some relief that she wasn't looking at you.

After receiving payment from Hisoka, you were both practically shooed out of the parlor. Despite her overall calm demeanor, she seemed to have little tolerance for handling Hisoka in large doses and wanted the clown out as soon as possible. It wouldn't have surprised you if he had decided to try and linger a little longer just to see if he could goad more reactions out of her, but he seemed to be just as eager as you were to leave.

The walk back to the hotel you were staying at was done in silence. That uncomfortable sensation was still there, running down your back and making you cringe as you felt like something was collecting above your waist.

The second the door of your hotel room was locked shut, you pulled your shirt off and exposed your back to Hisoka.

“Take it off,” you said.

“Don't you want to see how it looks first?”

“Hisoka, the blood packet is leaking. I can feel it pooling up at the bottom,” you hastily explained, “I want this stupid thing off of me.”

“If you insist,” Hisoka answered.

He reached forward, his nails catching on a particular spot just below your neck, and like peeling off a band-aid, Hisoka peeled off the sheet of texture surprise that he had placed over your back, the thin packet of fake blood he had hidden beneath the fake skin falling to the floor as he did so.

Just as you had said, there had been liquid pooling up at the bottom of the sheet, and when it was pulled away, some of the blood fell both onto the floor and your pants.

“Shit-!”

You immediately went to the bathroom, throwing your shirt to the side as you grabbed a towel off the rack and held it under the faucet. There was a coating of red covering your back, as expected, and you went about trying to clean the liquid off. Unfortunately, it seemed like your pants were permanently ruined. But you preferred that over that woman potentially discovering your ruse.

You managed to wipe the blood off, but you definitely needed a shower. Before doing that, however, you stuck your head out of the bathroom door to see Hisoka sitting on the bed, shuffling through cards as usual.

“I'm going to take a shower,” you told him.

“Just a moment,” he said, setting the cards aside and motioning for you to come closer.

With a sigh, you went to him, climbing onto the bed and allowing him to pull you onto his lap. You glanced at the side table, noting the sheet of nen that had been on your back for the past few hours sitting there. It didn't look like your skin anymore and was back in its normal form of a white sheet, though the ink that had been used was now embedded into it. The tattoo was larger than you had anticipated, and you were grateful you didn't actually need to have that thing permanently inked into your back.

“You'll be able to recreate that whenever you need to?” you asked.

“I do it all the time with mine, don't I?”

“Mm. Although I really have to question if that's going to be necessary. Are you expecting members of the troupe to just randomly lift up my shirt to make sure it's actually there?”

“You wouldn't want to risk a situation where it would be discovered that it wasn't there, now would you,” Hisoka replied.

“Fair enough,” you said with a shrug, “I guess I should just be grateful we went to all this trouble and you didn't just let them put that on me.”

“And allow the troupe to make a permanent mark on what belongs to me? Hardly. If I went so far as to mark you, I'd want my own brand,” he said.

“I don't know if I want that; you'd probably pick something stupid.”

He pouted at you.

“You're always so mean to me whenever we're alone; makes me feel like you don't actually like me.”

“I seem to recall something about pets with bite?”

Hisoka smirked, conceding as he nodded at you. Then, in a move that was somewhat atypical of him, he pulled you in closer until you were resting against his chest. You didn't question it or protest; there was that stupid part of you that genuinely liked the clown, after all.

The oddly quiet moment allowed your mind to wander, and your thoughts went back to what that woman had said about the original number four and his partner and the absolutely miserable way in which that partner had died. You didn't need to fear that same exact death; you were free to go where you liked, so being locked up with no food wouldn't be an issue if Hisoka unexpectedly died. At most you'd get kicked out of that room he had in Heaven's Arena, but that wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen.

The worst thing would be if Hisoka messed up and the troupe came after you because of it.

“You get so quiet whenever you're around the troupe. I think most of them would be shocked if they knew how you usually are,” Hisoka whispered.

It was true. You virtually clung to Hisoka whenever you were forced to meet up with the troupe. He always seemed to enjoy it, and not many of them bothered coming up to you. It was that part of you that worried you would somehow ruin his plans. Somehow, you would manage to let slip something you shouldn't and the truth would be revealed. Better to keep your mouth shut to avoid that scenario entirely and try to blend in with the rest of the significant others with their miserable expressions and occasional broken bones.

“When do you think you'll be able to fight Chrollo?” you asked.

“It's impossible to say. His movements are a mystery to everyone, so I need to wait for an opportunity to present itself.”

He ran those fingernails through your hair.

“So lets keep playing nice until then,” he told you.

“Mm.”

Play along until Hisoka got what he wanted, wait a few months after, and then he'd move on to a new obsession, a new opponent he wanted to fight. It was honestly a pretty miserable situation to be in, and yet you willingly stayed. Although if you did try to leave, you weren't so sure he would let you go so easily.

Hisoka wasn't a good person. And there was definitely something wrong with you for you to stay with him, even as he dragged you into dangerous situations that you'd never be able to survive without his help.

But one Hisoka running amok was better than the other twelve being allowed to continue as they were. At least there would be less people dying.

And still that question simmered in your mind: what would the troupe do to you if they found out Hisoka's true intentions?

You pulled away and he looked back down at you.

“Can I get my shower already?”

[ratcatcher0325]

Nobody’s Fool (Chapter #13)

Ooh, spooky number Chapter #13! Let me know what you think of this next song! The lyrics are just *chef’s kiss* for g/t!!

Previous: Chapter #12

Next: Chapter #14

CW: Adult language, dehumanization, references to abuse, mild non-sexual nudity

________________________________________

NOBODY'S FOOL

Chapter #13: Cold Case, Warmed Up

[Eveline's POV]

*************

I felt horrible. He really seemed freaked out. I had to remind myself that no matter how sweet and cuddly, no matter how brave he became, I was still ten times his size, and getting all up in his face wasn’t really the nicest or kindest thing to do. I hated frightening him. I wanted him to trust me and feel completely safe to be himself with me. It broke my heart that I might ever hinder that progress. I did my best to swallow my pride and make sure he got fed. Carrying him with me, I fetched the plate, a turkey sandwich with Swiss cheese and mustard, potato chips and a clementine. I set the plate down, and fed him tiny little pieces as I had done before. We ate in silence for a bit, when I had an idea.

“Hey! Wanna listen to some of Sticks and Stones’ other albums? That might be fun for you to get a taste of more of their music?” He perked up at this idea. Good, there’s the Penn I want to see…. I placed the record on my turntable and set it to play, not too loud so we could talk if he wanted. He pressed his back against the pillow of the sofa, one knee up with his elbow resting on it, the other leg bent at a 90 degree angle to the first. As he gazed over his right shoulder at the record player head bouncing to the beat, he looked especially lovely. I snuck my sketch pad into my lap and drew him like that, his little right hand resting softly before his mouth, the left side of which was turned up in a cheerful little grin. He hummed to the melody, curls sliding down into his face. My hand went to work capturing this perfect little man all cool and comfortable. He made for the perfect life model. I appreciated the opportunity to practice.

Once the first song was over he glanced back to me. Seeing my sketch pad in my lap he leaned forward, gazing at me coquettishly through his brows, “What’re you doin over there?”

**************

I already knew the answer, of course, but it was more fun to play the game. “Oh nothing…” she sighed, “Just drawing this really cute little guy I met the other day that I can’t stop thinking about….” Oof. Don’t tease me like that, Eveline. I know you mean something different but… hearing those words come out of your mouth is hard for this… little guy… to hear. I crawled on my hands and knees toward her, lifting an eyebrow. She turned the page to face me. What I saw took my breath away.

She’d drawn me, sitting back listening to the music, but she’d used the whole page to do it, so there I was, blown up, larger than life, sketched out in grey. My hair sweeping all around the crown of my head in its messiness. She’d captured the relaxed yet attentive turn of my head, my eyes bright and focused. My lips smiling just slightly, my hand resting against my chin. I looked striking, so alive. Innocent, yet knowledgeable, excitable yet causal. I couldn’t believe her talent. No photograph could ever capture what she had with just a pencil between her fingers. My heart pounded in my chest. “Eveline….” I stammered.

“I'm sorry, I should’ve asked before I just started drawing you….” I quickly scrambled to the edge of the couch, placing a hand on her right index finger.

“It’s incredible. I love it. You are crazy talented, and you are welcome to draw me anytime if you always manage to make me look that good!” She seemed to heave a sigh of relief. She smiled down at me, placing the sketch pad on the coffee table behind her.

“You are so sweet. Thank you for being so kind about it. I’m glad you liked it.” She leaned down to kiss me on my head, as I stroked her finger with my palm, smiling up at her while nodding my head.

Just then, her phone rang. She picked me up briefly around my torso, just to place me a little less close to the edge of the couch. Before getting up to retrieve her phone from the other room. When she returned she was already on the call.

“Yeah, he’s here. Hold on, let me put you on speaker….” She laid the phone before me. I sat with my hands behind me, crossing my ankles. Travis’ voice bellowed through the speaker,“Hey hey, little man! Got your feet back under you this morning?” Fuck. I’d been a black out drunken idiot last night. I’d forgotten.

“Ugh! Yeah…. Sorry about that…. To be honest, I don’t remember any of it so… sorry in advance for whatever stupid shit I did to embarrass myself….”

Travis’ hearty laugh over the phone, “Eh, we’ve all been there! I could tell you some stories, I promise. You were tame, my man. Pretty sweet actually….”

I could hear Dani’s muffled voice in the back “Tell him it was cutest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen!!!”

“He heard you!” I chuckled back.

Dani seemed to have a hold of the phone now, “Sweetie, you can give me those sweet little kisses anywhere, anytime, they were fucking adorable.” Oh god! I kissed Dani?? My face went red. I laughed nervously, scratching the back of my neck.

A shuffle of the device. Back to Travis, “So getting back to the subject at hand…. You were incredible last night. I know you know that, but clearly the crowd fucking adored you. Were they skeptical at first? Sure! Did you prove them goddamn wrong every second? Hell yes! I’m gonna email Ev with all our dates and locations for the rest of the tour so you’ve got an idea of the timeline we are working with. You’re a badass and I know you’ve got it, but the rest of us are dumb idiots who actually need to rehearse in order to sound good, so if you’re down I’d like to rehearse every day until we perform again. I’m thinking we do a similar schtick as the Thunderstruck thing from last night until our fans warm up to you. It shouldn’t take long maybe two or three shows…. You’ll go viral quickly, if you haven’t already just from last night. So here’s the other thing, if you’re gonna do this with us…. You’ve gotta be on the road, obviously. Now, I’ve already talked to Ev and she’s expressed that she can do a lot of her work remotely and would be happy to join us for the vast majority of the tour. We figured she could sort of act as your manager and first line of security. But she will have to fly home for small stints to take care of business. Now, I just wanna prepare you that our smallest venues from here on out are sitting at 1,000 seats, our largest is 8,000. So… it’s gonna be way way bigger than last night. Like, way bigger. The last thing I wanted to talk about, which was Riley’s idea, is video capture. So… he mentioned, and no offense here, dude, but you’re so tiny people are gonna have a hell of a time seeing you past the first few rows. So Riley wants to experiment with having a live video feed of you in close ups projected on either side of the stage so people can actually see you play and see you interact with them and stuff. Is that cool with you??”

“Uh…” I choked. This was a ton of information to process at once for a pet who expected to live his whole life sleeping in the wire hamster cage of a human who was addicted to adderall and booze.

“Sorry, man. That’s a lot, like a lot of information that I just threw at you. I’m sorry. I’m just excited! Why don’t we talk more at rehearsal tonight, yeah?”

“O-Of course, y-yeah.”

“Great! Well, have a good afternoon, and we will see ya tonight!” Everyone said their goodbyes and the phone clicked off. I breathed out a puff of air. My head in my hands.

“Woah, you okay?”

I nodded my head, “Yeah… yes… it’s just. Wow. This is a real thing that’s happening. To me. In my life. I don’t know how to process it all…”

She picked me up, holding me in her cupped hands, “You just focus on being the incredible talent that you are. Throw yourself into the music just like you did last night. Let everyone else take care of the rest. Plus I’ll be right there with you every step of the way.” Another kiss on my cheek. I patted her chin with my hand. “Okay, I’ve got some work I need to do with the rest of my afternoon. Are you okay to stay in here, want your guitar?” I nodded to both questions. She handed it to me, setting me all up, before taking up the dirty plate to the kitchen and winking at me in the doorframe.

Alone again. Something I so rarely experienced. I played through the set song by song, getting stronger and more confident on the lyrics. After that was done, I toyed with the instrument. Finding strumming and picking patterns that delighted my ear. I landed on one, and I started to let it breathe. It was bright, swift, lonely. I found myself humming a melody.

Was I…. Was I writing a song right now?? Why not? If I, Penn, the five inch tall pet, was going to break boundaries and defy expectations, I may as well go full tilt crazy. And why not sing a song about my own experience? I certainly had plenty to share. Maybe if I found some good lines, I’d show it to them tonight. I played away, singing softly to myself as I found clever poetry and rhyme to tell my story. The sun abandoned me as I worked, finding myself alone in a dark living room, I continued to play.

I had a moment of embarrassment as I realized I relied on Eveline even just to turn on the lights. Unlike a human who could just get up from his seat on the sofa, flip the switch and sit back down, basking in electric light, I was stuck, curled up, with no choice but to sit in the dark. I hated being little. That’s when I heard a shuffling of feet.

“Awww poor little man! I left you all alone in the dark!” She crossed to the wall, flipping on the switch. We were illuminated in a warm glow. “Better? I’m sorry, sweetheart, I wasn’t thinking! How’s it coming??” She came and sat down in front of me on the coffee table. She reached down, placing her thumb on the side of my neck and head. I laid my head back against the surface of the couch, rolling my temple into her thumb. I watched her closely, her face almost imperceptibly changing as I leaned in to her touch. She seemed to enjoy whenever I did that, cuddling her back as she caressed me. I’m sure it made her feel like she had gained my trust, compared to that first night when I shivered every time her giant hand got near me. Plus, I’m sure she was, just like all those humans at the bar last night, finding all of my tiny movements to be adorable. It was kinda embarrassing, but then again, it made her smile. If the sacrifice was that I had to humiliate myself to get that sparkle in her eyes, so be it.

“It’s going great. When is everyone coming over?” She brushed my hair with her thumb, I sat perfectly still, closing my eyes as she rubbed me.

“Any minute now… you cool with pizza for dinner again? I didn’t have time to plan ahead for anything else.” That made me chuckle. Oh, Eveline, don’t you know I’ve lived my entire life eating whatever scraps my owners bothered to toss my way, if they did at all? No one ever asked me what I wanted to eat… it simply never factored in so, yes…

“Pizza’s totally fine…” I mumbled letting myself enjoy her skin on mine. A sharp wrap at the door. This time instead of fear coursing through my veins, I was excited. For the first time in my pathetic little life I dared to imagine that I had friends. Human friends, no less! I was so grateful to have this circle of people in my life that I trusted to carry me gently in their massive hands, who I felt actually cared about my well-being.

Eveline’s warm touch receded as she bounced up to grab the door. I sat there, guitar in my lap, watching them greet each other. Oh, to be able to cross the room in a few strides and throw my arm around Travis, hug Dani to my chest and pat Riley on the back, an equal. Instead I just waited for them to shuffle over to me. Travis, a large, white cowboy hat in hand, eyed me first, sitting down on the sofa beside me, he whistled, stretching and relaxing into his seat, he dropped the hat on top of me, and I was suddenly plunged into darkness.

I trusted these people, yes, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say my prey instincts kicked in for a second and I gasped, feeling a little trapped, my heart pounding. Above me, Travis faked a yawn, “Hey, any of you guys seen Penn??” Everybody laughed, there was a shuffling around me as light poured in again, “Oh! Oh there ya are little guy! Thought I lost you!” He rested his hat on the coffee table, winking and tousling my hair. “Look, I brought my hat tonight cuz I wanted to be cool and match you….”

I laughed, “Nah, you’re just a copy cat! Now people will think you’re trying too hard…” he found that amusing. Riley, ever the pack mule, raised his hand in a salute to me, before heading out into the cold. I assumed he was going to fetch his drum kit from the van. Dani made her way to me, kneeling on the floor in front of my seat.

“Hey you! How’s my favorite mini music man?” She laid a finger on my knee, stroking my leg.

“I’m good, Dani! Better now that I’m seeing you!” She loved that. “I’m keeping you around forever, little one!!” She squealed.

“Now close your eyes, I have a gift for you…” oh? If I’d ever been told that in the past, it always ended in some awfully cruel joke. This time I knew it’d be different, however. “Close your eyes!” I did so. “Hold out your hands…” I felt something drop into my open palms. It felt plastic, light. “Okay, open!” I opened my eyes to see a plastic baggie with… miniaturized guitar picks. They looked perfect for my fingers. My mouth hung wide open as I blubbered. “I had a friend in town with a 3-D printer. He made those just for you!” I leapt to my feet, pulling the guitar over my head and placing it on the couch seat. I opened my arms wide for a hug, and she wrapped her hand around my body, her thumb curling up over my right shoulder, the meat of her hand wrapping around my left hip and leg as she curled her fingers around my back. I grabbed on to her thumb, pressing into her, warmly, my cheek resting on the tip of her thumbnail. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dani! You are so thoughtful!!!” I planted a big kiss on the pad of her thumb. She fanned herself as though she couldn’t handle it. As we released our grip on each other she added, “You’re very welcome. I figured those might come in handy and they don’t exactly sell them at the local music shop!” She winked. Eveline had long since joined us, kneeling by the couch as well.

Travis spoke up, “Well… I think we’ve left Riley to his own devices to load in long enough, shall we?” My brow furrowed as I realized Riley hadn’t come back though the front door again. I had assumed we were rehearsing here in the living room. Everyone got up and shuffled off to their various duties, as I picked my instrument back up, Eveline offered an outstretched hand. I climbed in, my legs splayed out in front of me, my weight resting back on my hands.

“You’ve never even seen my studio before have you?” I shook my head, “Come here, while they're doing all the hard work… lemme show you.” She carried me through the living room, past the kitchen and down to another hall, a whole section of the apartment I had never laid eyes on. To the left was a small bathroom and the right looked to be a second bedroom. She pushed open the door, and inside was an incredible space.

Clearly it functioned as her art studio and a space for music. Neon tubing in the shape of a heart, a cactus, a smiley face, a flamingo hung on the walls. There were pictures, paintings, posters, photographs, a Texas flag, littering the walls. There was a door which opened to the outside, a small closed in patio, where the band were loading things in. Riley almost had his whole drum kit inside. To the left was her desk, an absolutely massive monitor shining sleek, electric blue in the room otherwise lit softly with floor and table lamps. There were two couches and some folding chairs. A big plant in the corner. A beautiful ornamental rug on the floor. There was foam padding all over the ceiling and around the doors. Clearly Eveline had more regard for her noise making than her fellow neighbors.

I sat there absolutely mesmerized. I could have spent a whole day just admiring the things on the wall, the beer cans, shot glasses and knick knacks from all over the country that littered the shelves. All of that was incredible enough. But to be here for the purpose of actually making something, creating and collaborating, just like a human… well that was another joy entirely. “I. Fucking. Love. It.” I breathed.

She laughed. “Thought you might. Sorry I didn’t bring you in here earlier.” I shook my head, admiring some of her artwork on the walls.

“Are those yours?” They were these two incredible, almost photo realistic paintings of a naked woman, her body twisted in these strange yet pleasing shapes, hanging side by side. She stepped closer to them, letting me marvel at their beauty and craftsmanship. She was so talented! As I was held up to one of the paintings, I found myself diving into a familiar stormy sea… oh god, were these…. Her?!?

I heard laughter behind me, “Dirty dog!! Ow, owww!!” Riley howled like a wolf. I curled into myself, face turning beet red, avoiding eye contact.

She quickly lifted my chin with her thumbnail. “Penn, it’s okay. It’s just art. I don’t mind. Calm down!” She laughed warmly like it was no big deal. Of course it wasn’t for her. I felt sick to my stomach. I pulled in to myself, trying not to show how shaken I was. I would just avoid looking at that corner of the room altogether.

The pounding in my chest slowly subsided as I was placed on the arm of one of the couches. I watched as the other four set everything up. I wished I could contribute more and help, but I probably wasn’t even strong enough to lift a single coil of cable… soon they were fully operational, Riley pounded on his snare drum, Dani played a little riff. Travis tuned his guitar. I had been placed in the middle, Travis sitting on the couch to my right, Riley and drums just right of center, tucked between Eveline’s desk and the door to the patio, Dani was left of center, hugging the other smaller couch. Eveline curled up on this couch, hardly an arms length (her’s, not mine) away from me. Luckily, my back was to those paintings.

They asked me to play to make sure I was connected to the amps, and as a joke I started playing Thunderstruck again. They all burst into laughter. “Uh oh! Don’t get us started or we will be up all night playing other people’s better and more famous music!” I shrugged, fair enough. We started at the top of the set, I leaned into the microphone which allowed me to be heard over everyone else, while the rest played and sang acoustically. We played that first song that Travis had sung the night before. I wrapped my mouth around the lyrics, having fun playing with my rhythm. It was nice to be facing them, watching the faces they made, the way they bounced and swayed to the music. I’d been robbed of much of this being so down front last night. Even though I was balanced on the rounded arm of the couch, the surface was still plenty wide enough for me to stand, so I couldn’t help but get up and bounce around when I couldn’t sit still any longer. “Look at em’ go!” Dani chuckled, as I danced around. I stuck my tongue out at her, she flipped me off between chords.

We played. Eventually food came. Drinks after that. I happily abstained, having no desire to repeat what had occurred last night. We worked all the songs I’d already been introduced to. They showed me a few more, one I especially liked was somewhat of a duo for Travis and I. That one was sort of this bouncy waltz-y tempo that I couldn’t help dancing to. “Well, my friends, that was excellent. The night is still young… so, just for reference, Penn, when we have the free time, we used to spend the last part of the night jamming. Trying out new melodies and demos. We might record stuff we might not. But it’s how we would collaborate on new stuff…” Oh. Now might be the time… I was suddenly very nervous. Playing their music back for them like a little performing monkey was one thing. Actually being vulnerable and showing these people work that I had done, as a little meaningless pet who had never touched a guitar a few days ago… that was a whole other level of risk.

I swallowed. “Uh…” They all turned to look at me, as sweat started to form on my brow. I cleared my throat, “Um… could… would it be cool if I showed you something I started working on today?”

“Dude.” Alarm bells immediately went off. Travis sounded upset, disappointed. Had I overstepped my boundaries? I was both the new and the little guy here, after all. I was scared. “You’re writing music now too??” Fuck. Why did I feel like I was about to get smacked? “Bro!! Stop being so fucking cool and showing the rest of us up!!” Travis laughed heartily. The rest joined in. Oh thank god. I breathed a sigh of relief. I felt something warm on my cheek. Eveline’s thumb. She winked at me. I smiled back, shakily. The room settled. All eyes on me.

I breathed out a sigh, composing myself. “Don’t worry, if we hate it we’ll only laugh in your face!”

“Shut up, Riley! Be nice!” Dani snapped, leaning back over her keyboard and nodding at me.

Okay. Here we go. I got to my feet and started to play the bouncy rhythm.

[LINK for Song]

My whole body bobbed up and down. I started to sing the lyrics. The story of which, was obvious. I caught Eveline’s eyes briefly, but that only made me more nervous, I stared at my own tapping feet instead.

I hummed the parts I hadn’t figured out yet. Hips swaying to the rhythm. Suddenly, Riley joined in, adding a soft, sharp percussion that sort of shuffled along. That sounded really nice. I locked eyes with him, he seemed delighted, watching and listening to try his best to follow along. I sort of improvised the end, and then it was quiet again.

Four pairs of human eyes looked me up and down. I stared at the floor, unable to meet them. There was an awkward shuffling. Someone coughed. Did they hate it? I thought it went pretty well. I felt my heart sinking to the pit of my stomach. Travis cleared his throat, “…. Please don’t misunderstand…. I think I can speak for all of us and say that was a fucking great song. But…. Uh… how to put this?” Oh, fuck. What? “It’s um….” He faltered.

A finger tip rested between my shoulder blades, Eveline took over, “I think what Travis is trying to say is that… it’s sort of humbling to hear you talk about your experience like that. You’re so aware of your own… predicament… I’ll speak for myself and say that I tend to forget that when it comes to pets, all the time. You guys are so cute to us it’s easy to forget that being so little must be really hard for you…. Being condescended to all the time. I - I’m sorry, Penn…. You’re not angry with us, are you?” Angry? No! You people are the only humans who have ever treated me with any level of respect!

“N-no! God, no… that’s not. I mean, yeah… this,” I gestured to my whole self, “it sucks. But I’m not upset with you guys! Anyway, it’s just a stupid song that came to my head…”

“Hey!” Travis’ sharp voice cut me off, I jumped, “Don’t count yourself out like that. We are playing this song next show, no questions asked. You finish those lyrics and we will add some percussion. You should write more. You bring a whole new perspective that the world has never heard before, you deserve to be listened to.” I didn’t know what to think or say. No one had talked to me like that before. Built me up or encouraged me like that. I was feeling more and more human every moment I spent with these four. A soft, blushing smile blossomed on my face. “Thanks, everybody…”

“Now, don’t get me wrong. You’ll still have to be careful. You can’t come flying out of the gate screaming about injustice. People won’t listen. We have to get enough people to like you, see you as more than just a pet and be won over before you can really start advocating…. But it’ll happen, I have this feeling…” I nodded, all of that seeming like some far off, impossible dream. Right now I was just learning the words to songs, getting used to being a musician and trying to get enough sleep. That was all my mind was capable of tackling at the moment.

[miekasa]

out of the woods (eren jaeger)

↯ pairing: eren jaeger x reader

↯ genres and warnings: royalty au (not within the snk universe), knight/bodyguard au, friends? to lovers? implied? perhaps? maybe one day, but eren’s obviously in love with you lol, sorry i had to make jean the token little shit character but i love him

↯ notes: i spend a lot of time thinking about royalty aus in which the reader is in line for the throne and eren is her very impulsive, but very skilled personal guard because i love him

↯ word count: 1.5k

The harsh clinking of metal ringing in your ears is probably the only thing that keeps you from falling asleep in your chair. Eren’s always a bit fidgety when he’s completely suited, covered almost head to toe in armor and weaponry. It’s a bit excessive, too, which is why he’s not required to look like a walking chandelier on a regular basis, and especially not within castle walls—his normal uniform and longsword at his side in case of an unlikely emergency; but for meetings like these, Eren adorns all four layers of shiny, heavy, gold armor.

It’s more of a status symbol, decoration even, than for his or your own protection, really. And it’s his sly way of keeping you awake during long, drawn out civil duties meetings like these; he knows you hate the sound of all the metals clinking together, but it’s an effective way to making sure you don’t fall asleep face first on the table, and embarrass yourself in front of other royalty and noblemen.

Eren’s arguably a little too impulsive to be a knight, especially for one that stands at the right hand of the sole princess to the kingdom; and definitely the most mischievous of all the royal guards. And, as if to prove it, he shakes his wrist near your ear again when he sees you spacing out, prompting you to shake your head reflexively. He has to hold back his chuckle.

“Princess,” both yours and Eren’s attention shift to the voice that calls after you, “You seem a bit… distracted? Is anything the matter?”

The sound of Jean’s voice is enough to make Eren straighten his spine, his noisy wrist falling to rest his hand on your shoulder protectively. Eren feels you relax your shoulders under his touch, a silent message that he’s free to withdraw and do the same, but he stays sharp.

“My apologies, Jean,” you reply, voice kind and steady, “I have quite a bit on my plate, please pardon my absentmindedness.”

Jean hums, a cheshire grin growing on his lips, as his gaze settles on Eren, rather than you. Jean leans forward, the ruffled cravat around his neck tickling his chin as he brings his elbow onto the table, and his cheek to rest against his palm.

“Surely you’re in no immediate danger, princess,” Jean drawls, slowly, eyes now fixated on you, “Your guard dog can stand down in the presence of friends, no?”

Eren grits his teeth, growing more restless with every word that leaves Jean’s irritating mouth. The prick has the audacity to smirk when Eren’s free hand goes to rest against the sheath for his sword.

You, however, simply smile politely. The other men and women of the court are silent around the table; some eyes wide with anticipation, or perhaps anxiety, as the tension between Eren and Jean grows. You look slightly behind Jean, where Armin stands against the wall, his stance neutral, but his face concerned, with a look that speaks a thousand words—or, rather, twelve: tell Eren to relax, or there will be a bloody royal murder.

Carefully, you bend your own arm back, as to place your palm atop Eren’s hand still resting on your shoulder; then looking towards Jean: “Eren is my primary guard and advisor, Prince Jean, just as Marco is to you,” you state calmly, gesturing to the seat at Jean’s right, where Marco is seated, “He is by my side at all times.”

Eren knows that; and Jean knows it, too. He also knows this is a losing battle, but he wants to play, anyway.

“I understand, my lady, but surely there’s no need for Eren to be on guard for high-level threats at such a minuscule gathering,” Jean taunts, looking Eren in the eyes before continuing, “Besides, I’m sure a husband would provide much more civil protection, wouldn’t you agree?”

It takes you squeezing Eren’s hand with all your strength to get him to even think about refraining from unsheathing his sword and putting it through Jean’s head. He feels your orders, but it does nothing to calm him, though; angry, vengeful, green eyes boring into the prince’s soul.

Jean smirks, slips in another sly innuendo about he could please you better than any knight in your court, and Eren almost loses it. His right hand is on the handle of his sword, a glimmer of handcrafted gold peeking through its casing. His moves have the other knights on guard, too; Armin silently signaling for Mikasa to be careful, or ready.

“Eren,” you call, but you’re looking at Jean, “Stand down.”

You have to repeat your words twice more for them to get past Eren’s cloudy mind and growing growls. You squeeze his hand again, and reluctantly, he takes a step back—evens out his footing, removes his hand from your shoulder, lets go of his weapon. His stance is neutral at your right hand now, and the relief in the room is palpable. And audible from Armin, who lets out a sigh; he can rest now, knowing that the foreign prince won’t be beheaded.

With a similar sigh, you stand to address your other guests, “I believe a recess is in order. Mikasa will usher you to the ballroom for hors d’oeuvres and wine. We will reconvene at quarter to the hour.”

The noblemen, advisors, and other royalty nod in acknowledgement, moving to the exit as Mikasa leads them through the castle corridors and into the appropriate room. Prince Jean falls behind the rest, offering you and wink and a cocky grin before being pulled by Marco. Armin is the last to exit, saluting you politely as his stands in the entryway.

“Would you like for some refreshments to be brought to you, princess?” he questions.

“You don’t have to be so formal when they’re not around, you know that,” you smile gently. Armin gapes, a light, embarrassed blush falling across his cheeks, “It’s fine, Armin. I’ll be there shortly.”

Armin nods, giving Eren a look, before finally exiting and following behind the crowd. When you’re alone, Eren finally speaks.

“I don’t like him.” 

“I thought you and Armin were friends,” you joke, pushing yourself from out of your seat and standing next to him. Eren’s side-eye speaks a thousand words, but you find yourself chuckling in response.

“You promised me you’d work on that temper of yours,” you taunt, taking a few steps towards the door. Amused by his pouty demeanor, you extend your hand for Eren to hold like a child, “Come on, knights shouldn’t pout.”

Eren rolls his eyes, gingerly taking your hand, only to spin you around and wrap his arms around your middle. He fits his chin into the crook of your shoulder, “Knights shouldn’t have to justify wanting to murder asshole princes, either.”

“Jean means well,” you say, laughter seeping through your words at Eren’s evident disagreement with your statement. You reach a hand backwards to comb through his hair to quell his irritated state; an action well received, as the taller boy nuzzles his face deeper into your shoulder, his body finally fully relaxing, “He shouldn’t intentionally antagonize you, but he’s still a prince, Eren. You have to be careful.”

Eren huffs, and holds you a little tighter. “Him being a prince means nothing to me.”

“I’m serious,” you sigh, letting the hand in his hair fall down to your side, and then to rest atop his that are over your stomach, “You can’t be that hasty. Your actions could be seen as an attempt on royal blood by the wrong people.”

“And his words could be seen as harassment and defamation of the princess and her associates, in which case I am within my rights to attack, and you are within your rights to sue,” Eren counters. 

He removes his hands from your waist, gently resting them on your shoulders to turn you to face him now. He’s got that stupid look on his face, the one he gets when he’s a little too overly confident, but Eren’s not dumb; he’s impulsive, and passionate, but he knows the law of your land like the back of his hand, particularly where it pertains to protecting you. 

“And he did it while on your land. It would have been defense of the princess—precautionary knightsmanship, really—if I had sliced his head off.”

“Precautionary knightsmanship sounds made up,” you say, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“It’s real. It’s in the knight handbook, trust me,” Eren replies, leaning down to press a single kiss to your forehead. He removes his hands from your shoulders, stepping past you before turning back with one arm extended, “Come on, allow me to escort you to the tiny, not fulfilling, rich people finger foods.”

You chuckle, placing your smaller hand in his, “They’re called hors d’oeuvres, Eren.”

“That sounds even more ridiculous,” he notes, wrapping his fingers around your palm, “Just eat normal meals and portions like the rest of us.”

“You know, you’re allowed to eat the tiny, rich people finger foods, too.”

“I know,” Eren hums, turning his head as he begins to walk you in the direction of the ballroom, “But I’d rather have Jean’s head.”  

[jenonctcity]

Art Of Innocence

The Virgin Series – Huang Renjun

Part of ‘The Virgin Diaries’ Series

Virgin!Au, University!Au, Bestfriend-Lovers!Au

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst.

Warnings: Explicit Sex, Very brief mentions of drug and alcohol, Loss of virginity. 

Word Count: 11.8k

Summary: Art and gaming. That’s all Renjun found himself doing. Of course he spent time with his friends, but he had to be dragged away from his games console or easel first. Renjun had been brought up around art, his mother being an artist and his father being a drama teacher. So it wasn’t a shock to anyone when he decided to study art at university. His quiet, shy, nerdy nature meant that he didn’t get much attention when walking around campus, which is just how he liked it. You however, had found him on your first day of university and had stuck to him like glue. He pretended as if you didn’t mean that much to him, but you and him both knew he would be lost without you. Only, you didn’t know he was a virgin. So after you found out about the pact from one of the other boys, you couldn’t wait to intercept his gaming session and quiz him on his innocence. You couldn’t help it, but you suddenly saw him in a different light, one that had your fingers tingling and stomach flipping. The same way Renjun had felt looking at you since the first day he’d met you.

---

Meeting Renjun had been noteworthy. It isn’t every day that you find yourself a best friend upon your first meeting with someone, but with Renjun it had come very naturally. It had started when you’d tripped over the tiniest stick in existence, which you still have no idea how you did that, and had fallen straight into Renjun. It was very cliché, which is the exact reason you picked him to be your new best friend. He had been more than surprised when a beautiful girl he’d never met before flew into his arms and had face planted straight into his chest. After he’d gotten over his initial shock and had straightened you up onto your feet, he’d accepted the bumble of apologies that came flying out of your mouth and was ready to move on with his life. What he didn’t expect was for you to notice the Moomin keyring on his backpack and to spark up a conversation about it that seemed like it went on forever, with you repeating yourself and him just listening. Before he knew it, the two of you had walked around campus twice and he’d found out that your name is (Y/N) and you have a tendency to ramble on about random crap. But he liked to listen to your random crap, and he could see the beautiful friendship blossoming before his eyes.

So you and Renjun soon became close. You learnt his class schedule and forced him to learn yours, so that it was easier for the two of you to spend time together. At first, you had a feeling Renjun wasn’t overly keen on being your friend, but after a little while you just realised he had an attitude where he pretended he didn’t care about anything, since he would start waiting outside of your classroom for you to finish when you hadn’t even made plans with him. With Renjun, came his best friends. Jaemin, Jeno, and Donghyuck. You got on really well with them, but you only saw them when you went over to their shared apartment to see Renjun, or if they invited you to go to the classic American style diner down the road from their apartment. You also learnt a lot about his past. He was born in China but after his father got a job in Korea, they moved over when Renjun was eleven and they’d been there ever since. When you’d heard that his mother was a freelance artist and his father was a drama teacher, it made sense to you. Renjun was studying art and had a natural talent you can only assume was passed onto him from his parents.

You couldn’t even count the amount of times on both of your hands that Renjun had drawn you little pictures of random things. He was very generous with his art and even though you’d never asked him or expected him to draw or paint you anything, he loved to surprise you with a small painting of flowers or a sketch he’d done of you based purely off of his memory of your details and features. His art was hugely impressive, his people skills on the other hand, not so much. He was quiet, and he kept to himself, only spending time with you, or the boys. The more you got to know Renjun, the more you were surprised that he even let you cling to him like you did, but you never once thought that it could be because he formed a crush on you. From the moment that Renjun had laid eyes on you when you bumped into him, he had felt his heart jump on a rocket ship and take flight. He was so smitten for you, but he didn’t want you to notice, so he hid it well and preferred to show his affection towards you in subtle ways, like paying for your lunch, walking you back to your dorm, or drawing you a silly picture of a worm. Even after a year and a half of Renjun feeling that way, you however, had never really thought of Renjun in any other way other than platonic. Of course you thought he was beautiful; he was one of the most beautiful males you’d ever laid eyes on. He had deep brown eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, a cute little nose and a smile that made you want to pinch his cheeks and coo at him. Which the one time you did, his cheeks went so red that he whined for about half an hour that he was embarrassed.

You were more than happy that the apartment the boys lived in wasn’t too far from campus, it was only a ten minute walk if you picked up the pace and you could stop off at the convenience store on the way to buy snacks. Also it meant that you didn’t have to be in the cold January air for long, which was a bonus. With your backpack now heavier from the soda and snacks you bought, you knocked on their apartment door and waited patiently, rocking backwards and forwards on your feet. The door swung open and a smiley Donghyuck appeared behind the door.

“Hey (Y/N).” He opened the door wide enough for you to step in. You smiled back and quickly took your shoes off in the entrance.

“Hey Hyuck.” You neatly arranged your shoes by the door and pulled off your backpack and winter coat, hanging it up on the coat rack before shuffling through to the living room. As per usual, Renjun was nowhere in sight, but Jeno and Jaemin were sat on the sofas with their laptops on their laps with the tv showing old episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants. They both glanced up when you entered and smiled, Jaemin looking overly smug as he looked at you.

“Well hello (Y/N).” The Jaemin spoke had your eyebrows raising in question at his tone. It sounded like he knew something you didn’t and knowing Jaemin, it sent a shiver down your spine.

“Hello Jaemin…is Renjun in his room?”

“Yep.” You quickly rushed to Renjun’s bedroom, not bothering to knock on the door because you knew he wouldn’t hear you knock anyway. Upon entering you saw Renjun in his typical position. Sat in his gaming chair at his desk, playing some random game on his desktop with his gigantic headphones covering half of his head. “Hey Renjun!” You chirped, throwing yourself on his bed. He completely ignored you, too invested in his game to even notice that you’d entered his room. His eyes were glued to the screen and his mouth was popped open in his concentration. “Renjun…Renjun!” You raised your voice until eventually he turned his head, giving you a nod and a brief greeting as he moved his attention back to his game. “Seriously?” You sighed and rolled your eyes. “I’ll be in the living room.” You grumbled and walked out of his room, leaving the door open and making your way back to the living room.

“Hey, guess what.” Jaemin turned his attention to you as you entered the room again and sat yourself down in between him and Jeno.

“What?” You laid your head back against the sofa and tilted it towards Jaemin, getting relaxed and preparing yourself for the dumb thing he was probably about to say.

“So you know how Renjun is a virgin-”

“WHAT?!” You shot up, sitting bolt upright with a look that was a mix of shock and amusement on your face. Jaemin and Jeno both flinched at your loud voice, looking shocked themselves. Donghyuck let out a snigger across the room where he was sitting on his phone. “I mean I had a feeling he was a virgin, but he never told me! He always avoided the topic of girls whenever I brought it up.”

“Oh…anyway now you know,” Jaemin scratched the back of his head awkwardly, as if he’d just let out a big secret that he shouldn’t have. “So we have this little pact going, and since you’re a female and super close to Renjun, I thought you could help him out.” He grinned widely at you, closing his laptop and shifting all of his attention to you.

“I don’t like where this is going…” You narrowed your eyes in suspicion at him, having heard stories about Jaemin’s little schemes that didn’t end up going well and have caused plenty of stories you’re sure that the boys will be telling their grandchildren one day.

“It isn’t bad, don’t worry.” Jeno leaned over and mumbled to you. You let out a small sigh of relief but still held a little bit of suspense inside of you as you watch Jaemin.

“The pact is, we all have to lose our virginities before the end of the year-”

“You’re all virgins?” You titled your head in curiosity, actually quite shocked hearing that these four handsome boys were all virgins still. It was a big surprise to you that Donghyuck was a virgin, as you knew him to have the party boy reputation, and a party where everyone is making decisions under the influence of alcohol and other non-legal substances is an easy opportunity to lose your virginity.

“Yeah, anyway,” Jaemin shook his hand to try and grab your attention back to him as you looked around at the nodding boys. “Like I said, we have to lose our virginities before the end of 2020. You know Renjun really well and we all know how much of an introverted nerd he is-”

“That’s a bit harsh.” You interrupted Jaemin yet again, causing him to narrow his eyes at you. You sunk your head into your neck slightly and giggled. “Sorry, carry on.”

“Anyway,” He out a lot of emphasis on the word, giving you a wide-eyed look that almost dared you to interrupt him one more time. “He’s going to need a bit of help. He’s the only one we’re worried about finding someone to do the dirty with. So this is where you come in!” He patted your thigh and gave you a big, closed mouth grin. “You need to help him get his dick wet.” You felt a bit sad for Renjun. It made you sad that his best friends didn’t have confidence in his ability to get some, because you knew that if Renjun really put his mind to something, he could easily pull it off. Just because Renjun hadn’t had sex yet, doesn’t mean he’s incapable of it. And no, you’d never seen him flirt with anyone, or even lay eyes on another female, or…even show interest in another female…but that doesn’t mean he will struggle to fuck someone.

“He won’t need my help! The school year started two days ago and we’re less than a month into the new year, he has loads of time, there’s no rush.” You shrugged, sticking up for him as he wasn’t there to defend his own honour.

“Yeah we’re just saying that he might need a little…push in the right direction!” Jaemin was clearly only trying to help, so you didn’t get mad at him. Instead you rolled your eyes and patted Jaemin’s thigh.

“Let me handle it.” You pushed yourself up from the sofa and went back to Renjun’s room, rolling your eyes once more when you saw him sat in the exact same position as he was when you’d left the room. Instead of letting him ignore you though, you shut the door behind you, and marched up behind him. “Oi.” You lifted his headphones off of his head despite the little whine he let out. “I heard a little rumour about you Renjunnie.” You whispered in his ear, causing him to visibly shudder. He furrowed his eyebrows and turned off his game, spinning his chair around to face you as you perched on the end of his bed.

“A rumour? About what?” He tilted his head like a curious puppy, his knee bouncing which you had noticed he did as a little habit. One of the things you found endearing about Renjun was that he had a lot of little nervous habits. One of them was he fidgeted a lot, especially when the room was quiet but there was a lot of people surrounding him. Another one of his little habits was biting his nails, which you had reprimanded him for plenty of times, often by smacking his hand away from his face and giving him a glare.

“I heard from someone that you did some dirty dirty things at the new years party.” You winked at him, wondering if he would fall for your little story. You didn’t think it would be fun just to straight up tell him you knew about the pact and his very much still intact innocence, so instead you did what any best friend would do and wind him about it.

“Who said that?!” He frowned quickly, confusion settling over his features. He was wearing an oversized hoodie with matching sweatpants, and he looked far too cute and cosy to have a frown on his face. He slouched further into his seat and spread his legs out further, his habit of manspreading to the max still just as bad as it always was.

“A little birdie told me.” You smirked, putting your elbow on your thigh and leaning your head against your hand. You were trying really hard not to laugh, but Renjun hadn’t noticed that you were just teasing him yet. “Did you fuck someone again?” You titled your head, feigning innocence as his eyes squinted and he looked even more confused than before.

“Again? What on earth are you bumbling on about?” His cheeks were starting to pink up and that’s when you knew you had him where you wanted him.

“Well you’ve fucked someone before, haven’t you? So that would mean if you did it at the party then it would have been again! You following me?” You finished talking with a little giggle, biting your bottom lip to stop yourself from bursting out into full laughter.

“I-I…no I haven’t fucked anyone before. Whoever told you that was lying a-…no one told you a rumour, did they?” He raised an eyebrow as he caught onto your lie. He really did know you too well and he could see that you were holding in laughter. “You just wanted me to admit that I’m a virgin!” He stood up quickly and you gasped, knowing exactly what he was about to do. You quickly pushed yourself up the bed to try and escape from him.

“No Renjun I’m sorry no don’t tickle meeeee!” It was too late though, before you’d even finished your sentence, he had cornered you against the headboard of his single bed and had his hands digging into your sides.

“This is what you deserve!” He laughed, not bothered at all about being a virgin, so it didn’t bother him that you tried to amuse yourself with it. If it made you smile, Renjun would do take all the embarrassment in the world.

“Stooooooop!” You squealed, trying your hardest to push him away from you. He laughed with you, eventually relenting and removing his hands from you. He slapped your knee and sat beside you.

“That’s what you get for virgin shaming me.” He sniggered, bumping his shoulder into yours and crossing his arms in his lap. You didn’t notice the way he looked at you with a slight longing in his dark eyes. He yearned for your company; he was just too shy to tell you that all he wanted was for you to be cuddled up in his arms in times like this. He was too afraid to be rejected by you, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep the friendship alive; his awkwardness would play too much of a part and he wouldn’t be able to act like he normally did around you.

“I think it’s cute that you’re an innocent little bean!” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders from beside him and smiled up at him. “I bet you’ll be right kinky little fucker.” You sniggered, noticing how his cheeks went a dark red as he blushed. But he laughed with you despite his mouth popping open in shock. “Spank me daddy.” He gave you a gentle shove and flopped back on his bed, trying desperately to direct his thoughts in another direction at your vulgar saying. He didn’t have a daddy kink, well not that he knew of, but hearing you say something to erotic made his stomach spark up a fire he couldn’t control. He squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh.

“Gross.” Was all he mumbled, throwing his arms over his face to hide his embarrassment. You looked down at Renjun and felt a strange feeling you’d never felt when you’d looked at him before. Of course you found him attractive, but you’d never found yourself attracted to him before. So why were you suddenly having thoughts about what he would look like with shirt off as you looked down at the soft, embarrassed boy. Luckily, he had his eyes shut and his arms over his face, so he couldn’t see your eyes trailing up and down his body.

“So, Jaemin told me about the pact you have with them. Who are you planning on seducing?” He gently removed his arms and popped open an eye to look at you, not missing the way you wiggled your eyebrows at him suggestively.

“I haven’t even thought about it yet.” He shrugged, slowly pushing himself to sit up. You glanced around his room, your eyes trailing over the PlayStation and Xbox connected to his desktop monitor that you’d seen hundreds of times, before moving to the easel in the corner of his room that had an unfinished painting of what you assumed was supposed to be abstract art, as you couldn’t make out what the hell he was painting. His room was super cramped from how much he’d crammed into the small space, but it was cosy, and you’d fallen asleep squished up against him on his single bed plenty of times when he was gaming and you were bored. You loved being in his room.

“Leave it with me big boy.” You winked, patting his thigh, and ignoring the strange feeling you got in your stomach and the small amount of contact.

 ---

“Okay, so I know you’ve probably been anticipating this all week, but I have finally finished my list of ways that you can dip your dick into some vagina okay?” Your uncouth way of speaking had Renjun cringing and lowering his head slightly as he sat opposite you in the Chinese restaurant. Even though you said it quietly, he still went bright red at the thought of someone around hearing you and he nearly choked on his chicken. It was also the way that you had brought it up at the first moment of silence between you two since you’d sat down in the restaurant. You’d previously been talking about how you thought apple music was far superior to spotify, and then after the conversation on that topic was over, you’d swooped straight in with the kill.

“I know you won’t shut up until you tell me, so go for it.” He didn’t voice it, but he hoped that you would be subtle with whatever you had concocted in your own time. You put down your chopsticks to grab your phone out of your bag, quickly opening up your notes and clearing your throat.

“Option number one, go to a party with Donghyuck and find a lovely sober lady to take home.” You had a small nagging feeling in your stomach that was telling you he hoped you said no to all of the things on your list, and you couldn’t tell why you felt that way. He wrinkled up his nose and shook his head quickly.

“I don’t do parties; New Year’s Eve was a one off because it was the turn of the year and Jeno told me if I didn’t go then he’d throw all of my boxers off of the roof.” He said that with a serious look on his face, while you let out a quick laugh at the thought of Jeno doing that to his boxers.

“Okay…that doesn’t sound like something Jen would do though?” You titled your head in curiosity. Jaemin? Of course he would threaten to do that. Donghyuck? Also highly likely. Jeno? Nope. That doesn’t sound like something mellow, go with the flow, and responsible Jeno would do.

“He was already drunk off of wine.” Renjun shrugged, taking a sip of his water, and helping himself to the noodles between you both that you were sharing.

“Oh, wine drunk, okay that makes sense.” You nodded in understanding of Jeno’s actions now, placing your phone on the table so that you could go back to eating. You shoved some rice into your mouth and then read out the next option.

“Option number two, I can set you up with that gamer girl in my class. She’s a bit…out there! But that can be a good thing you know; she’ll probably tie you up and ride you over the rainbow.” You smiled at him as if the more you smiled at him, the more likely it would be for him to say yes. Sometimes you couldn’t help the words that tumbled out off your mouth, and after you heard them in your head after they’d been verbally spoken, you cringed. This was one of those moments. Especially when Renjun paused his chewing and gave you a look that was a mix of confusion and being grossed out. “I’ll take that as a no.” You cleared your throat and deleted option number one and two from your phone.

“How many options are there?” He moved his attention back to his food, leaning forward slightly as he shovelled more food into his mouth in an attempt to avoid commenting on your options.

“Four.”

“It took you an entire week and you only came up with four?!” His eyes flicked back to you in surprise.

“I forgot until this morning all right.” You mumbled and rolled your eyes at your own forgetfulness. “Moving on. Number three, you sign up to tinder.” The thought of Renjun signing up to tinder made you want to laugh but puke at the same time. Laugh because the poor boy had no idea how to flirt, and you could see him as the cringey boy who sent a strange pick up line or commented on something in one of the girl’s pictures. Puke because you didn’t want him to go on a date with some random girl you probably didn’t know. Again, confusion swirled around your head, because you’d never felt like that before, mainly because you’d never had any thoughts of Renjun dating since it wasn’t anything he’d ever done since you’d been his friend. Knocking that thought out of your head you cleared watched his face as he turned his nose up to option number three.

“Nope.” Shaking his head and drinking his water again, he wasn’t prepared for your fourth option.

“Fine! Final option, you make a decent amount from selling your work online, right? Hire a hooker!” He choked on his water at how nonchalantly you spoke those words, coughing and trying to catch his breath without causing other people to look over at you both. “Woah you okay buddy?” You giggled nervously and widened your eyes slightly. “Have a sip of water!” You pushed your own cup towards him and watched as his face went completely red.

“You’re insane.” He grunts out with a groggy sounding throat when his coughing fit had finished, quickly sipping at the water from your cup. “I’m not doing that.”

“Well then have fun finding someone to lose your purity too Mr I’m too good for (Y/N)’s ideas.” You folded your arms over your chest and shrugged, faking offense that he didn’t like any of your ideas. “Don’t say I didn’t try to help.”

“Your ideas sucked.” His words came out in a blunt way, which is what you should have expected since Renjun had never been shy about telling you things the way he saw them.

“Whatever, the only other option I can think of is to just fuck me and get it over with.” You pouted, sulking that he didn’t like your admittedly awful ideas. You did it again, you opened your mouth without thinking and even you were shocked at your own suggestion. Your eyes slowly widened as you thought it through in your head. You didn’t know if you even wanted to go there with Renjun, sleeping with someone is a big step for anyone, especially when they’re your best friend, but there was a small burst of butterflies setting off in your stomach at the thought of it. Renjun looked as if his brain was short circuiting, and his mouth opened and closed as he tried to form the right words to reply to you with. A strange awkward cloud settled over the table, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to take the offer back.

“No, I couldn’t.” He shook his head, gulping as he put the water back on the table, letting his eyes wonder everywhere but at you, causing him to miss the way you visibly deflated at his rejection. He didn’t want to just fuck you, no matter how much he longed to have you writhing underneath him, naked and basking in the glory of his affection. He wanted to hold your hand, give you soft, tender kisses that proved how much you had his heart. He wanted to make love to you and wake up the next morning with the certainty that you were his, and the only person who felt your love was him. So no, he couldn’t just fuck you and get it over with. You looked down at your plate, awkwardly pursing your lips as you wallowed in self pity at Renjun’s rejection. Did he not find you attractive? Did he not like you enough to do that? Did he simply not want to ruin your friendship? You didn’t know, and you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself that you didn’t bother asking.

“Okay cool.” You shrugged, sitting opposite him with a sad look on your face for the rest of the meal, even though it didn’t last long as Renjun hurried to pay the bill, despite your whining that you were going to pay. You both left and instead of going back to Renjun’s apartment like you had originally planned, you told him you were tired and promptly walked in the opposite direction to go back to your dorm on campus.

Renjun groaned as he watched you walk away, feeling bad about the way he had just shot you down without even offering you an explanation for why he didn’t want to have sex with you. But he didn’t have it in him just yet to tell you how he really felt for you, too scared that it would either scare you off, or cause you to feel awkward because you didn’t feel the same way as him. Either way, he knew he was screwed.

---

After a week of punishing Renjun for hurting your feelings, you finally decided it was time to relieve him of your absence. You weren’t so harsh as to completely ignore him, but your texts had been vague, and you had simply told him that you were busy whenever he asked you to hang out. You had a feeling that he knew you were upset, because he didn’t wait outside of your class on a Wednesday afternoon like he did every week, and you knew Renjun well enough to know it was because he was giving you your space. He knew you’d go to him when you were ready. Which is the exact reason you were stood in his doorway, staring at his side profile because as per usual, he hadn’t noticed your arrival, too engrossed in playing call of duty on his Xbox with his headset on. Jeno had let you into the apartment with a kind smile, telling you that Renjun had been whining about missing you all week. You were thankful that Jeno went behind Renjun’s back to tell you that, because it was just more confirmation for you that he did in fact like you and wasn’t just using you as someone to hang out with. You did feel silly for feeling that way, but in the moment of being hurt, you couldn’t help but let your mind drift over to the negative side of thoughts.

You approached him without warning, not noticing as his eyes flicked up to look at you in completely surprise at your sudden appearance. He quickly remembered that he was in the middle of a war and went back to looking at his screen, trying not to make it obvious that his heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he was sure it was visible. You swung one of your legs over his, putting your hands on his shoulders and struggling to sit yourself down. He let go of his controller with one hand and helped you onto his lap, his breath held from how close you were as you snuggled your head into his neck, wrapping your arms around his body and his gaming chair. He wrapped his arms around you, holding his controller behind your back and playing the game over your shoulder. This was the first time that you had wiggled your way into his hold when he was playing his games on his gaming chair, so he was beyond surprised, but elated at how warm you felt cuddled up to him. He held you tightly whilst shooting at random people’s characters on the game, completely silent instead of swearing when his own character was shot.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He mumbled, trying to pretend like it hadn’t affected him. But your absence had his heart yearning for you even more. You just hummed in confirmation at his statement, your hot breath against his neck almost making him sweat from how nervous he was getting at having you where he wanted you. Ever since you’d stumbled into his life, he had wanted to hold you like this whilst he played his video games, loving how it gave you attention and kept you close, whilst he still got to play his games. As you clung onto Renjun, you came to a realisation that you could happily get used to this. It felt strange. You’d never had feelings like this towards him, but as he held you in his arms you came to realise that you were starting to get feelings for him. You knew that it was dangerous. Everyone always says to never fall in love with your best friend, but sometimes you don’t even realise that you’re falling down that slippery slope until you’re already in the deep end.

You heard Renjun put his controller down on the desk behind you before removing his headset, your heart starting to pound as he placed both of his hands underneath your thighs. You gripped onto him tighter as he stood up from his chair with you in his hold. You buried your face into his neck more, smiling to yourself because you assumed he was going to put you on the bed so that you could talk about things. You desperately wanted to ask him why he said he couldn’t fuck you, but at the same time you were scared that you’d hear something you didn’t want to hear, something that would put out the fire of feelings inside your stomach like a bucket of ice cold water. Maybe if things went right you could tell him that you were starting to develop feelings for him, so that the two of you could get control of this situation quickly before anyone got hurt. You also knew that if you stayed quiet about your growing feelings for Renjun and he went and fucked someone else, then you’d be gutted.

Renjun placed you on the edge of his bed and then let go of your thighs, he tried to pull away, but you had a tight grip on him. He moved his hands up and pried your arms away from around his shoulders. He smiled at you softly, reaching out a hand and ruffling your hair before sitting himself back down in his gaming chair. He put his headset back on and picked his controller back up, taking a deep breath to try and steady his heart from how quick it had been pounding when he was touching you. He gulped, fidgeting around in his chair and turning it away from you slightly so that you couldn’t see him as well.

You narrowed your eyes at him, gulping down the pang of hurt you felt at him removing you from his lap and just dumping you on his bed. Not only that, he then went back to playing his game and ignoring you. No boy that liked you in the way you liked them would do that, you thought, quickly standing up and marching out of his bedroom with a scowl on your face. You didn’t even bother to say goodbye to Jeno as you rushed past him, not wanting him to see the tears that were flooding your vision. You weren’t hurt at the realisation that he might not like you in anyway other than platonic, you were hurt that he just brushed you aside and acted as if his games meant more to him than his best friend.

As soon as you got home you muted all his contact on all of your social medias so that you wouldn’t see if he messaged you or not, and then you laid on your bed and sulked, wishing you had an Xbox so you could go on call of duty and kill his character as a way of getting back at him. It was petty, but it was an oddly satisfying way of getting back at him in your mind.

---

It had been another week. You weren’t sure why you were leaving it a week each time before you gave in and let Renjun have his chance of redemption, but it felt like a good amount of time for you to calm down about what had happened. You had cleared your head, focusing on your studying instead of dwelling on your feelings for Renjun, which had stupidly grown over the week. You cursed the first person to claim that distance makes the heart grow fonder, because now you knew first-hand that that statement was correct. You hadn’t read any of the messages you’d received off of Renjun. Not only had he texted you, but he’d sent you snapchats, facebook messaged you, and even came over to your dorm to try and get your attention. When you hadn’t answered the door, he’d slipped a piece of paper underneath your door. It was a cartoon drawing of himself with a speech bubble saying ‘I miss you, I’m sorry for whatever I did’, which annoyed you even more despite how cute it was, because he clearly couldn’t see what he’d done wrong. But you just ignored all of his efforts, wanting him to realise that he had hurt your feelings and you weren’t prepared to just let it go this time. He didn’t get to throw you aside and choose his games over you. Best friend or not, that was super rude in your eyes.

You blamed this stupid pact that the boys had. If they’d never made the pact, then you wouldn’t have been dragged into helping him lose his virginity, then you would have never realised your feelings for him, and things would be how they used to be. But still, things could have ended worse if you hadn’t realised your feelings until after he’d given his innocence away to someone else. Anyway that you looked at it, you just felt like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Renjun had yet to notice you, yet again, as you stood in his doorway with a determined look in your eyes. You knew what you were about to do was stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. Yet you knew it would get you the answers that you need to clear your head, and hopefully it would make Renjun realise that you deserved his attention more than his stupid games consoles.

You quickly walked over to him after carefully shutting his door. He didn’t notice you until you were climbing into his lap, his body flinching from how startled he was to suddenly have someone climbing on him. He gulped, just letting you climb onto him, not needing to help you as you moved his limbs around until you were perched in his lap, staring at his face with a slightly worried look on your face. You had all of his attention, his arms tightly around you with both of his hands gripping the controller of his playstation behind your back. All he could hear was the sound of war going on through his headset, because his eyes were now on your eyes, watching them as they scanned his own face. You reached up and slipped his headset from his ears, placing them on his desk before grabbing his face in your palms. He gulped, his lips parting as he tried to find some words, but even a simple hello wouldn’t come out of his mouth. He wasn’t sure where he stood with you. The last thing he knew he was in your bad books, but here you are, sat on his lap with has face in your grip.

His eyes widened when your lips planted themselves on his own. His controller fell out of his hands and tumbled to the floor with a clatter, but he placed his hands on your hips slowly and let his eyes flutter shut. His heart was pounding as he realised that the girl he was head over heels for was kissing him. You had a tight hold on Renjun’s face so that he couldn’t feel your hands shaking, but not tight enough that he couldn’t pull away if he wanted to. Your lips moved slowly against his, and to your relief, he moved his lips in time with yours. The kiss wasn’t perfect, but after you found your rhythm with each other, your lips slotted together like puzzle pieces. You pulled away slightly, your lips now resting less than a centimetre away from his as you tried to steady your breathing. Renjun opened his eyes a slither and stared at your lips, gulping in nervousness before placing a lingering kiss to them once more. Your heart almost burst. That small kiss from Renjun had more of an impact on you than the big kiss you had planted on his lips, because he had initiated that kiss, which meant he wanted to kiss you.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did.” He whispered, his thumbs stroking against the material of your hoodie, his touch feeling warm even through the thick fabric. You sighed and pulled your head further away, opening your eyes and looking him in the eyes.

“You can’t even see what you did wrong Renjun, how can you be sorry?” You slowly let your hands trail from his face to rest lightly on his shoulders. He looked taken aback, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of the right words to say to you.

“Because whatever I did hurt your feelings…what did I do?” He tilted his head slightly, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to rack his brain for the part where he went wrong. His cute expression had your heart soaring, and you were finding it really hard to be mad at him. You were feeling a bit more at ease though, as Renjun had accepted your kiss and had kissed you on his own accord, which in your head must mean that he has some kind of feelings for you.

“We were cuddling, and then you just tossed me aside on your bed and went back to your games, you even turned your back towards me…that hurt my feelings Renjun…you were more interested in your stupid games than you were about me.” You felt slightly silly saying it, especially since your bottom lip naturally pouted itself out like you were a sulking child, but you were glad you got the opportunity to express your feelings to him so that hopefully the two of you could clear the air.

You didn’t miss the way that Renjun’s face went bright red in less than ten seconds, his eyes momentarily widening before he groaned, letting his head roll back as he stared at the ceiling. You raised an eyebrow in confusion at his reaction to your words. He huffed a laugh that turned into a whine, and he raised his head up again, his fluffy brown hair flopping back on his forehead perfectly in place. His face was still burning red and his grip on your hips tightened. “I…oh fuck this is embarrassing…”

“What is?” You titled your head at him, noticing how his adams apple bobbed as he gulped in embarrassment.

“I didn’t remove you from my lap because I wanted to play the games instead of cuddle you. I put you on the bed because you were making…” He took another deep breath and then quickly exhaled and carried on. “You were making me hard, and I didn’t want you to notice. So I moved you and then turned away so you couldn’t see my crotch.” He hands slowly trailed down to your lower back, his fingers lifting up the hem of your hoodie so that his hands were pressed against the warmth of your bare skin. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings; I just didn’t want you to know that I got hard from you sitting on my lap whilst I was playing my games. It was really hot, and I like you a lot, so I panicked and…yeah.” He cut off his own rambling to look at you which he had previously been avoiding as he was explaining his motives to you. Your mouth popped open in complete and utter shock. Of all the reasons why Renjun had done what he’d done you’d made in your head, that was not on the list.

“Y-you like me?” You stuttered out, gulping yourself to get rid of the small lump of emotion forming in your throat. He smiled timidly, nodding his head to confirm your question. “I like you too…oh my god…this is crazy but like…in a good way!” You were struggling to find words, so you simply leaned in and kissed him again, wanting to feel his soft lips on your again. He returned the kiss, basking in the feeling of finally having your warm lips slotted between his own, a fuzzy feeling that felt natural blossoming inside of his chest. The kiss confirmed to you that you did have strong feelings towards your best friend, and you were thankful that you did, because you loved everything about Renjun. Even if he was addicted to gaming and was clearly bad at expressing his feelings. You’d only known about your feelings for him for about two weeks, but they’d been there a lot longer than that, sitting at the back of your heart and waiting for the perfect time to attack you. You wondered when Renjun had come to terms with the fact he had feelings for you. But asking him meant that you’d have to pull your lips away from his, which was out of the question for you. Renjun stopped kissing you, but didn’t drag his lips away far, letting them linger against yours, brushing them with yours as if he couldn’t quite believe that they were there.

“You’ve had sex before, haven’t you?” His voice was barely audible, and you smiled against his lips, placing a very tender peck to his glistening, pouted lips. It hadn’t taken Renjun long to start getting hard, his bulge brushing against your crotch as you shuffled closer to him on his lap, a gasp caught in your throat as you answered him.

“Twice.” You whispered back, your stomach erupting in butterflies as you rocked your hips on him, confirming your suspicions that he did in fact have a hard on. Renjun gulped, his cheeks flaring up as he thought his next words over a few times.

“Wanna make it a third?” Your mouth popped open and you stared at him, completely gobsmacked. Renjun bit his bottom lip, his stomach turning as he thought that maybe he’d said the wrong thing. He thought he’d blown it with you before he even got a chance to really start it. Until you let out a laugh through your open mouth, your eyebrows still raised.

“Huang Renjun! That was so smooth! I’m so proud of you.” You leaned in, licking into his mouth and cupping his face in your hands. He held back the sigh of relief he wanted to let out, instead breathing out of his nose slowly and standing up quickly with you in his grasp, much like he had done the week before. But instead of dumping you on the bed and just going back to his games, instead he threw you down onto his bed and crawled over you, settling his body down on yours gently and bringing his lips back to yours. You were beyond shock at the surprise confidence that was suddenly rushing through Renjun. The normally shy, quiet, and reluctant boy was taking complete control of the situation despite the fact he’d never done this before. You felt pride, and you’d be sure to give him a reward for his courage later on.

You gripped at the back of his t-shirt, bunching the cotton in your hands as you trailed your hands up his back, your lips still locked with his even as you got the shirt to the back of his neck. He pulled away, sitting up on his knees to pull his shirt over his head and tossing it aside. You bit your bottom lip as you trailed your hands down his chest to his abdomen, your eyes following your hands as you admired his body. You had no idea how he managed to stay so fit considering all he did was play games, do art, and eat junk food, but he had an impressive body. You let your fingers fiddle with the buttons on his jeans as you lick your lips, moving your eyes back up his body and seeing that his eyes were locked on your face, his bottom lip stuck between his teeth.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, leaning down and kissing your cheek gently. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.” You noticed his adams apple bob as he gulped, and then all of a sudden he just completely froze, his eyes still as he looked down at you.

“Renjun…?” You sat up in concern, taking his face in your palms and stroking your thumbs against his hot cheeks. “Are you alright?” You pecked his parted lips slowly, letting your lips linger as your thumbs worked small circles on his smooth skin. He cleared his throat, snapping out of his daze and nodding his head.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine I just…what if I’m no good?” His voice was small, and his hands came to rest on your hips. You smiled, holding in your giggle as you dipped your head down to kiss at his throat, swirling your tongue around the spot that you then attached your lips to.

“No ones a porn star on their first attempt, and you know that I won’t judge you anyway.” He seemed to relaxed under your touch and then his hands pushed against you, forcing you to lay back down on the bed.

“Tell me what to do.” He whispered, his cheeks a vibrant red as he stared down at you waiting for instructions. You bit your bottom lip, knowing you had him completely under your thumb, but you didn’t want to push him too far and ruin it for him.

“How about I give you some options and you pick whichever one you want to do?” He nodded quickly in agreement, a small smirk playing on his lips that were a light red from how much you’d kissed them. “Hang on.” You sat up again and pulled your sweater over your head, throwing it on the floor with Renjun’s t-shirt and trying not to smirk at how wide his eyes went when his eyes zoned in on your bra. “You can touch them.” He didn’t need anymore prompting, his hands quickly trailing from your hips to your breast, his hands cupping them and giving them a small squeeze.

“Wow…” He whispered in awe, licking his lips, and bumping his bulge against your crotch to try and get some friction to his growing cock.

“Okay so these are the options, first of all, do you want to do foreplay or just jump straight in?” You didn’t know if he could last until the actual fucking if you did foreplay, but you really hoped he said he wanted the foreplay.

“I want to do foreplay…can I eat you out…please?” You raised your eyebrows as he had clearly picked which foreplay he wanted before you even managed to give him his options.

“Since you asked so nicely.” You bit your bottom lip, watching his every move as he shuffled down the bed, laying on his stomach with his legs hanging off the end of the bed. You leaned forward and unclipped your bra, pulling it from your chest and playfully throwing it onto Renjun’s head. He paused as he laughed softly, your bra covering his vision momentarily until he threw it on the floor. His tongue ran over his lips when he saw your boobs for the first time.

“Wow.” He whispered in awe, shuffling back up the bed and hovering over your body. “Can I?” He swallowed the saliva that had pooled in his mouth from his mouth watering at the sight of your chest.

“You haven’t got to ask for anything Renjun, if you want to do something, do it.” He made eye contact with you, a small smile playing on his lips as he nodded in understanding. His tongue poked out and flicked over your left nipple, his eyes closing briefly as he swirled the wet appendage around the hard nub, covering it with a thin coat of his spit. His lips encased your nipple, sucking it until his mouth like it was going to give him something in return. Your breath left your lungs at the spark that rushed through your body, his tongue still working on your nipple even as he sucked. He reached up and pinched your right nipple gently with his hand, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger before flicking it quickly. You knew he’d seen this in porn, otherwise he wouldn’t have done it with such confidence. Even though porn wasn’t the best educational way to learn how to fuck, you thanked it in this moment, because it was really paying off. You ran your hands through his hair, gripping it tightly and pushing his head south softly, trying to hint that you want him to use his tongue where you needed it the most.

He seemed reluctant to let go of your nipple, but he did in the end, releasing it with a pop and licking down your stomach, pressing kisses along the way until he came to the waistband of your leggings. He glanced up at you with questioning eyes, you nodded as encouragement and then felt his fingers slowly peel the waistband down your legs. “Fuck.” He mumbled upon seeing your blue lace panties. He had the picture engraved forever in his brain and he knew later on he would have a good attempt at drawing what he’d seen. But the drawings would be for his eyes only, and maybe yours depending on how well they resembled you.

You didn’t want to rush him so just watched as he pulled your leggings off of your legs, pulling your socks off with them and placing a soft kiss to your left ankle. He swooped down after tenderly placing your legs over his shoulders, getting himself comfortable on the bed with his face in front of your spread legs. He leaned in, dragging his tongue from your hole to your clit over the top of your panties. His eyes flicked up at you, watching as you took in a sharp inhale of breath, your own eyes locked on him with your mouth parted. He slowly rubbed you over your panties with two of his fingers, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he concentrated hard, also slightly in disbelief that he was doing this to you of all people.

“Take them off.” You breathed out, feeling like the material was suffocating you in your want, your need. He wasted no time in complying to your demand, tugging them down your legs and leaving them to lay beside him on the bed. His eyes widened at how your pussy was glistening with slick, and a sense of pride washed over him because he knew that he caused it.

“Shit.” He mumbled, not thinking about his actions before diving his tongue in between your folds, lapping at you like you were a melting ice cream in the summer heat. “Oh fuck.” Your head flopped backwards onto his pillow as he messily ate you out, his tongue travelling up and down, round and round, visiting your clit before meandering back down to dip inside of your leaking hole. “Use your fingers.” Your back arched when he cautiously slid his middle finger inside of you, his hips subconsciously grinding into the bed to release some of the pressure on his hard cock.

“Like this?” He pumped it in and out of you, his tongue pushing against your sensitive clit at the same time.

“Yes! Fuck another!” You didn’t realise how loud you were being, but Renjun wasn’t about to tell you, his pride in what he was doing clouding his mind to the point where he didn’t care who heard. He slid his ring finger in beside his middle finger, sitting up on his knees and leaning down to connect his lips to yours, his tongue clashing against yours in a heated kiss as his fingers pumped in and out of you. He moved to lay beside you, your feet planted on the bed and his lips now on your neck as he worked magic with his fingers. If you weren’t so lost in the feeling his was bringing down on you, you would question whether or not he was really a virgin, because he was making you feel so good with truly little instruction. “Jun stop, I’m gonna cum if you don’t.” You grabbed his wrist, your chest rising and falling fast as you tried to catch your breath and steady the rhythm of your heart. He halted his actions and leaned in, pecking your lips quickly.

“Was it good?” He shyly asked, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he withdrew his fingers from you, examining the juices coating his fingers and palm, a small bead dribbling down his wrist. You nodded, not being able to speak properly just yet as you tried to will your orgasm back into its hiding spot. “You’re so wet.” He whispered in surprise, his eyes then going back down to your face. “Can I fuck you now?” He was beyond horny, the pressure in his crotch area almost hurting as he used his fingers to pop open the button on his jeans, sliding down the zipper and diving his wet hand inside his boxers to squeeze at his erection.

“Please…wait don’t you want me to suck you off?” You felt bad at not giving what you’d received, but Renjun sat up on his knees again, positioning himself between your legs.

“If you touch my dick I will cum, and I want to cum inside of you.” He quickly rose from the bed, turning his back from you as he went to his desk, opening up a drawer and pulling out a silver packet. He pulled his jeans and boxers down in one swift motion, his back still turned away from you so you didn’t get to see his cock yet. He rolled the condom on his length, taking a deep breath to try and compose himself as he pumped himself a few times. He then turned around, trying not to cower underneath your sultry gaze that soon fell from his face to his cock. You knew he was nervous, and he was still your best friend, so you winked at him.

“Nice cock.” You spread your legs wider as a silent invite for him.

“Thanks.” He chuckled, his face beet red and his hair looking like a bird’s nest from how your fingers had ruffled through it. He clambered onto the bed, moving so that he was hovering over you with his left hand planted on the bed next to your neck. He used his right hand to grip at his shaft. “I love you.” He whispered, leaning down and placing a kiss so sweet to your lips that you almost melted through his bed. You heart felt like it was swelling up in your chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping his lips close to yours.

“Love you too Renjunnie.” You whispered back; your words mumbled into his lips as he guided his cock inside of you slowly. He paused halfway, taking a deep breath, and then exhaling through his nose to try and compose himself. Once he was fully inside of you he leaned down and tucked head into the crook of your neck, laying gentle butterfly kisses to your skin, breathing in your scent and waiting for you both to adjust.

After a minute he gently pulled his hips back, then pushed them against you again, his cock sliding in and out of you in a steady but gradual rhythm. He groaned into your neck, feeling an unimaginable amount of pleasure buried in your warm, wet walls. He’d jerked off a lot of times throughout his years, but that felt like nothing compared to how you felt around him. His cock felt so snug inside of you, like you were made to fit him inside. You panted, closing your eyes and wrapping your legs around him, your hands moving from his neck to grip at his hair once again, tugging it softly to cope with the pleasure you felt every time his cock would push back into you.

His hips sped up, the sound of skin slapping against skin resonating around the room as you started to lose control of your vocal chords, your mouth spilling moans as you bucked your hips up into his, looking for more even if what he was giving you was more than enough. “(Y/N), fuck baby girl.” He moaned loudly, pushing up onto his arms so he was staring down at you, his eyes boring into yours as his hips moved at a different angle, hitting a new spot inside of you that had your eyes almost rolling into the back of your head. “I can’t hold on much longer.” You were happy he was admitting it so that you didn’t hold back on your own orgasm, wanting to cum around his pulsating cock inside of you. The dirty thought had your back arching, your hands moving from his body to grip at the sheets of his bed, looking for something to squeeze as the pressure you felt building up inside of you was so astronomical you felt like you were going to burst. His thrusts became sloppy as his peak came closer, sitting back on his heels more and gripping at your hips tightly.

“Renjun harder!” You squealed, your thighs quivering and toes curling as he delivered three hard thrusts that had you moaning out loudly, your orgasm crashing into you like a wave of lava consuming your body. You were actually surprised that he’d managed to make you cum before he did, considering he was the virgin and you knew it was rare for you to climax so fast. There was just something about Renjun that had your nerves on fire, your body reacting to him like nothing you’d ever felt before. He stilled completely, his fingers digging into you so hard you were certain they’d leave little sore spots where fingertip shaped bruises would arise. He stomach flexed as he came into the condom, the feeling of your walls squeezing his cock being enough to force him over the edge. He grinded his hips into you a few more times, slowly as he head fell back onto his shoulders, his hair sticking to his forehead and his mouth parted as he tried to regain his regular breathing.

“Fuuuuck.” He groaned, slowly coming back to live on your world again and looking down at you with lazy, half closed eyes. He had a dopey smile on his face that told you he was still on cloud nine, and then reluctantly he pulled out of you, flopping onto his back beside you on the small bed, your shoulders pressed firmly against his. You had recovered from your orgasm, watching him as his eyes slowly closed and struggled to reopen.

“Hey,” You whispered, rolling onto your side and leaning up on one of your arms. “We need to clean up.” You placed a gentle peck on his still parted lips. He groaned, giving his head a small shake. You rolled your eyes and sat up, letting him get away with being lazy since he’d just lost his virginity, but next time you weren’t going to let him get away with it. “Fine.” You slowly stood up, wobbling slightly on your legs and having to grip onto his bedside table for stability for a moment. You grabbed some tissues and wiped yourself off your own mess, discarding of them before grabbing more tissues and wiping Renjun clean of any mess, also removing the condom and throwing it into his waste bin. By the time you’d finished cleaning the two of you up, you noticed that Renjun was completely dead to the world, his chest moving slowly as he slept. You rolled your eyes and giggled, pulling a blanket over the top of his naked body, and kissing his forehead affectionately. You pulled on your bra and panties, throwing on the biggest t-shirt of Renjun’s that you could find in his wardrobe before leaving the room quietly, shutting the door gently to not disturb him.

You walked out into the living room, on your way to the kitchen to get yourself a drink when you came across the wide eyed, shocked, yet oddly smug faces of three boys, staring directly at you. You froze, a guilty smile on your face because you completely forgot that Renjun shared the apartment with his best friends. You also thought about how you must have looked, your hair a mess and your skin still slightly glistening from the sweat you’d accumulated from fucking Renjun.

“Hi…” You broke the silence, slowly shuffling towards the kitchen but keeping your eyes on them. It was Jaemin who spoke up first.

“You know, when I said you needed to help him get his dick wet, I didn’t mean for you to be the one who wet it…” Jeno slapped Jaemin on the shoulder for that remark, but you sniggered and bit your bottom lip, your cheeks heating up as you realised that they must have heard most, if not all of what you’d done.

“You should have been more specific Jaems.” You shrugged, walking off to the kitchen and leaving them to talk amongst themselves.

---

“What’s bothering you Renjun?” You’d been sat with him at the local diner, a bowl of nachos in between you both but Renjun had hardly touched them, instead fiddling with a napkin, and avoiding your gaze. Renjun glanced up and gave you a small smile, picking up the milkshake that you were both sharing and taking a sip of it through the straw. You’d spent the night with Renjun, sleeping on his chest on his small bed and cuddling him all night. You felt like you were living on a magical cloud and no one could bring you down. You’d also spent the morning with him, and he’d been strangely quiet, just cuddling with you on his bed and watching Netflix until your stomach rumbled and he dressed you in some of his clothes and marched you down to the diner.

“Nothing is.” He shrugged but you knew he was lying, his eyes still avoiding your own. You knew him too well though, so you knew that something was definitely playing on his mind.

“Is it because we fucked last night?” Renjun nearly choked on the nacho that he’d put in his mouth as an attempt to distract you from thinking something was wrong with him. You smirked, seeing that you’d got it right on the mark. “Do you regret it?” You gently rubbed your foot against his own as you sat opposite him in the booth.

“No!” His eyes widened as he hurried to reassure you that he didn’t regret what happened. “Babe no, I loved it, it was amazing…I just…” He trailed off, taking a deep breath, and running a hand through his hair nervously.

“What is it?” You gave him a smile of encouragement, hoping he wasn’t about to tell you that he didn’t want to do it again.

“You give me a funny feeling in my stomach.” He looked down at the milkshake glass in his hands, trailing his fingers up and down the condensation as his cheeks turned red. You felt your own cheeks start to burn at his confession, and you laughed awkwardly.

“That could just be the milkshake.” You mumbled, shoving a nacho in your mouth, and watching him intently.

“I’m being serious. You give me this feeling that I’ve never felt before and I’m fairly sure that it’s the feeling people get when they look at someone they love.” His words had your heart pounding, and suddenly you had no appetite. You knew what the feeling was, because you felt it whenever you looked at Renjun, whenever he smiled, or said something really smart that went straight over your head.

“I feel the same way.” You reached across the table and took his hand in your own, gently rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand.

“Do you…oh god this is so awkward, and I’ve never done this before but…do you want to be with me? As my girlfriend?” He looked nervous, as if you were going to shot him down like a pigeon in the sky. You broke out into a big smile and giggled in your own nervousness.

“I would love to be your girlfriend.” You squeezed his hand, trying to stop yourself from squealing from how giddy you felt in that moment. Your best friend was also your boyfriend, and from that moment you would start a new chapter in your relationship with Renjun.

Later on that evening Renjun had convinced you to let him draw you. You felt silly, and you knew for a fact you’d find it hard to stay still the whole time considering he wanted to draw your whole body. But since he asked so nicely, and had begged about sixty times in an hour, you eventually stripped off completely naked, and laid on his bed for him. You laid on your side with your head resting on his pillow, your right arm tucked under the pillow as you faced him. He was sat in his gaming chair, his glasses perched on his nose and his sketchpad in his lap. He kept poking his tongue out in concentration and would tell you off every time you moved.

“So, I know you spoke to the boys earlier on when I was in the shower,” You smiled at him, trying your hardest not to move as to not get scolded by him again. “Did they say anything about us?” Renjun looked up over his sketch pad and cleared his throat, giving you an awkward laugh and nod.

“Of course they did. First off, they congratulated me for losing my virginity first, they also said they were super shocked, which I’m not gonna lie, kind of offended about that.” He laughed, which told you he was only joking, and he hadn’t actually taken any offence to their words. “Then they said that they’re happy for me that I have finally asked you out and yeah that’s pretty much it.” You bit your bottom lip, smirking as you looked at Renjun, his eyes trained on his art and not looking at you as he worked on a certain part.

“Renjun…” You called out, parting your legs and trailing your left hand down your body, cupping your heat and rubbing your fingers over yourself slowly. He looked up and then looked back at his art, realising what he’d just seen and quickly looking back up against to take a second look.

“Holy…” He trailed off, gulping as he watched you rub yourself, your bottom lip between your teeth. “I know you’re trying to seduce me so that we can fuck but…I haven’t drawn your lower half yet and I would really love to draw you exactly as you are now. So don’t move!” His face was red, but he looked like an excited puppy. You groaned, you eyes rolling and you cursed yourself for having an artist as a boyfriend, because now he was finally in a sexual relationship, he could unlock a whole new level to his art that he’d never been able to before.

“Haung Renjun, you better fuck me so good after you’re finished drawing or I will rip it up.” Your threat left a wide grin on his face, and you knew this was going to be an incredibly fun chapter in your life.

Hello! I hope you enjoyed the first instalment of The Virgin Diaries! I didn’t proofread the smut scene so sorry if there’s any grammar or spelling errors there, maybe one day I’ll go back and proofread it but don’t hold your breath. Let me know what you think and if you’re excited for Jeno’s part (he’s next). Love you!

[clintbartonswife]

tender but tough

Pairings: Wade Wilson x Peter Parker Summary: Ever since Vanessa, Wade had been scorned from even a friendly shoulder touch even when he was in the suit. Peter realises this. Whumptober no.6: touch and go Notes: touch starved wade, college!peter parker, not as angsty, but the whump’s there. masterlist

Watching Wade Wilson was a pastime that Peter had come to love. 

Ever since meeting him a few weeks ago, he had been drawn to the man, watching from afar as he tried to work up the courage to speak to him once more.

Upon spying (Ned had called it stalking but he had quickly stated that he didn't seek the masked man out, instead only watching him when he naturally came across him in the city. The word was quickly changed to ‘pool spotting’, and Peter had grudgingly complied.) on Wade, he had managed to come to three conclusions.

Number one: Wade Wilson was a creature of habit. Despite his seemingly erratic movements, he would always buy food from the same three places - if he didn’t already have a pre-cooked meal in his hello kitty lunchbox. Peter had at first wondered if that meant that Wade had someone at home who cooked for him, but after a very loud conversation on a roof with someone called ‘yellow’ and ‘white’, knew for certain that he was “painfully alone and in desperate need of a quick fuck or someone to hold”. He especially loved his Mexican food, often returning to his favourite roof top with two bulging bags of of the stuff.

Number two: Wade kills, and he does it a concerning amount. Normally, whenever Peter was on his pool spotting expeditions and he saw him getting his katanas out (he had once heard him call them Bea and Arthur), he would swing by, web up the bad guy, and swing away while shouting some different iteration of ‘don’t kill him, please!’. He would later hear people talking about others Deadpool had killed once he had gone home, though the webbed ones were never touched. Peter prided himself on his very anti-killing stance, but something about Wade made him curious - enough to put his moral code on the backburner and instead feel the need to help him change for the better.

Number three, and arguably the most important: He had never seen anyone touch him. Sure, people had thrown punches, violently approached him, but never once had he seen anyone touch him with anything less than hate. This is what finally convinced Peter to approach him.

“Hey Webs”

Wade was sat with his legs overhanging the roof of the building, mask half pulled up over his face and a burrito halfway to his mouth. 

Peter took a deep breath before he spoke, settling his nerves, “Hi Wade.”

“Aaah, he speaks! How are you doing baby boy.”

Peter flushed at the nickname, face heating up under his mask, “Uhh -”

Wade let out a laugh, placing his burrito down and pulling his mask back over his face before turning to face him, “Well, he tries to speak.” Wade tilted his head to the side slightly, patting the surface next to him, waiting until Peter sat beside him, “I’ve been seeing you around a lot, but we haven’t really spoken since the last - no Yellow I’m not trying to guilt him - shut up White.”

Peter just looked at him.

“Sorry - it’s the boxes-” Deadpool said, with a strong jersey accent, waving his hands around his head animatedly, “You wouldn’t get that reference, shame. I love Margot Robbie.”

“Who?”

“Oh, Webs” Deadpool sighed, patting his masked cheek condescendingly, “The world of joy you’re missing out on.”

That’s another thing that Peter found out after hanging out around Deadpool for a few months - he would instigate touch, but shy away whenever Peter would go to return it, shrugging it off with a quick joke or pun.

-

It was on the third month of knowing Deadpool that Peter decided he would address it. The two of them had become extremely close, and Peter had found himself trusting the older man quicker than he ever had before. It was only one day at Stark tower during a quick drop-in visit to see Tony, that the billionaire had pointed out how quickly Peter had become comfortable with him.

“Webs, webs, webs. To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you today?”

Peter smiled, sitting cross-legged beside Wade as he unloaded the two bags of Mexican food. “Just wanted to see your gorgeous face, as always.”

“Always a charmer - and a beautiful liar at that.”

“How do you know I’m beautiful? For all you know I could look like a troll under this mask and you’d never know.”

Wade’s mask warped as he raised his eyebrow, “With an ass that phat? Baby boy, you’re nothing short of an angel.”

He wouldn’t know why he had done this until many years after the fact, looking back in hindsight. Peter had let out a small laugh, and ripped his mask of with a grin, “Well damn Wade, someone would think that you’re sweet talking me.”

Wade went quiet - something Peter had never known him to be - and sat back heavily. At the silence, the younger man’s smile dropped slightly, turning more nervous, “Is this a case of ‘if you’ve got nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all’ type-a deal?”

“No.” the answer was so fast that Peter let a nervous laugh escape, “You’re - you look better than every wet dream I’ve had about you combined.”

Peter laughed loudly at that, relief making his head feel slightly woozy, raking his hands through his curly hair. 

“I’m not kidding - I mean I knew your body was good - but your face! ” Wade’s voice was higher than it normally was, disbelief clear in his tone, “You gotta body of a stripper and face of an angel, y’know that?”

“Wade-”

“And you blush pretty too, it’s like god took every one of my dirty fantasies -” Wade’s rant was cut off as Peter placed a hand on his shoulder, eyes widening at the soft touch, “Webs -?”

“Peter,” he smiled, moving his free hand to slowly start removing his mask, “My name’s Peter.”

Wade repeated it like a prayer, so distracted by the feel of the letters on his lips that he didn’t even move to stop the action. Peter let his finger brush against the textured skin of his cheek, Wade going completely still at the contact.

“Pete... what are you doing?”

He just smiled, moving his other hand to cup the other side of his cheek as he lifted the mask all of the way off. “Beautiful.” The one word seemed to strike Wade at his core, the man melting in to his hand before coming to his senses and pulling back slightly. 

“You are,” he insisted, “fuck anyone who says anything else.”

“Oooh, little spidey used the f-word.”

Peter shot him an unimpressed look, “Wade.”

The mercenary just huffed, seemingly losing the internal battle against himself and the boxes as he let himself relax in to Peter’s hands once more. The younger man just watched as Wade’s body seemed to completely loosen, as if he was crumbling right before his eyes. 

As if on delayed time, Wade’s eyes began to water, “I - I don’t know why-”

“It’s ok, Wade,” Peter said, instantly moving closer and enveloping him in a hug, taking the full weight as he relaxed completely into the hold, “It’s ok.”

Peter just held him as he felt the merc’s tears wetting the front of his suit, slowly moving his hand up and down Wade’s back. The rhythmic motion seemed to lull both of them into a comfortable silence, one which was only broken by the sharp sudden breaths of the man in his arms.

Wade had been quiet for too long, eventually pulling slightly back from the hug but taking great care to keep contact, “If you can make me this weak with a hug, I cant wait for when you finally take me home and bang me into next year.”

“Wade!”

Sniggering, Wade leaned back into the hold, burying his face in Peter’s neck, “Well if you’re offering, I’m sure gonna make the most of it, Webs.”

[imatechbummerliketomholland]

"ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ, ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ?" - ʜ.ᴏ

Hello to you! There it is! My first Harrison request. I'm working for a one shot with him, but it takes me so long because it's a little angst. But don't worry, this one is just fluff! I hope you'll all like it! I did not have time to be reread and corrected. So be indulgent once again, English is not my native language.

Summary: harrison met you in this coffe/bookstore where you friend worked. Since that day, he tried to ask you out but nothing really worked he would like. Until that day. Word count: 2690 Warning: some of swear, spoilers of "one day" by David Nicholls" Pairing : harrison osterfield Request: yes!

You walked happily into the store, heading towards the counter where your best friend was. “The cup and feather” was a second home to you. The warm atmosphere that reigned in the bookstore/cafe has always seduced you. There was a peace of mind that relaxed your muscles: the woody decor, the warm and captivating light, the mixed smell of old/new books and coffee. You were leaning on the counter where Maya was completing an order for a regular.

“Good morning Luke! Enjoy your drink!” you said with a large smile.

“Hello dear y/n! Thanks sweetie! Let me know if you want to drink something. It’s on me”

“It won’t be necessary but thank you. I appreciate!”

The customer adds a generous 10-pound bill to the tip pot with a wink at you. Maya thanked Luke and then gave you a broken look. You gave her an amused smile, shaking your head, already anticipating her next line. But nothing could dissipate your good mood, your day was good.

"It's unbelievable how my tips increase when you're here. What's your secret?"

“Hello to you too, dear best friend. I don't have a secret...but maybe, try to be...nicer to customers? Give them a smile while you're taking their order! ”

“Hello honey. I’m so thankful you’re here. It’s a boring day”

It was a pretty quiet day, there weren't a lot of customers. The rather gloomy London weather seemed to have put them off. A huge thunderous sound echoed outside and Maya jumped. You had a sympathetic and somewhat amused smile. You liked the storm. To be honest, you liked the storm when you weren't alone: feel the heavy, electric atmosphere before the refreshing rain falls. She looked out the window with annoyance.

"Jesus. It looks like it's gonna be a long day" she complained

“Don’t be so dramatic! Let me help. How can I help you?”

“There is this book cart that I have to put away and that has been lying around for an hour. But my boss would kill me if he found out that someone who actually doesn’t work here, did it for me”

Maya gave you a knowing look. It wasn't that she hated you helping her with her work, on the contrary, you were quite useful to her. But she would have preferred that you spend your free time other than helping her. You took a few books from the cart, sticking your tongue out at your best friend and rushing down the aisles of the library section. The distinct sound of a heavy downpour was heard outside and a few seconds later, the store door opened to let in two young, but also handsome, men. Maya bit her lip as one of the individuals approached the counter with a polite but warm smile. He seemed tall, with a thin but toned build, thin lips, his blue eyes pierced her from the moment his eyes met hers; a fucking model.

"Hello. Do you mind if we stay a little while the downpour subsides?" he asked.

" Hell no, of course! You can stay as long as you want as long as I can admire you… uh, shit, no, as long as you order something… did I say the other part out loud?

The second boy laughed, but nothing mocking. He was shorter than the guy across from Maya, brown hair and chocolate eyes, muscular arms but not sculpted like a bodybuilder. He seemed in good shape.

The blonde raised his eyebrows, an amused smile on his lips.

"I'm afraid so. Um ... okay. Tom?" he turned to his friend "Do you want to drink something?"

"Black tea. A single sugar and a drop of milk."

Your friend nodded meaning she heard it and then she patiently waited for the blonde to place his order.

"I'll have mint tea. Just one sugar too."

"Noted! Feel free to go grab a book once you've settled in."

The blonde smiled at Maya as he turned slightly to the tables to settle in with his friend. You were immersed in reading a synopsis when you finally returned to the counter. You looked up too late while talking to your best friend.

"Hey, Maya can I keep - ouch"

You had just hit a rather solid chest and your eyes widened in surprise. Two hands grabbed your shoulders before the fall, stabilizing you on your two good. And thank you, handsome stranger because you would have been able to let yourself fall so as not to drop the book you were holding in your hands.

"Everything's alright, love?"

"Huh Huh" You barely said, still a little surprised by the impact.

He smiled at you and finally joined Tom at a table without giving you a chance to thank him. You leaned against the counter giving your best friend an indecipherable expression.

"Who are these guys?"

"I know, right?" Maya whispered, biting her lips again.

You smiled to her. You and your best friend had the same tastes when it came to boys. So it was no wonder that they found them attractive.You quickly gave a last look on the mysterious guy before focusing on the cart again. Your logic wanted you to go back and forth rather than pushing this wheeled machine. And deep down, it was also an excuse to admire the blond boy at the table 7. When you came back from your last trip down the aisles and there were no books left on the cart. You noticed with a sad expression on your face that both boys were gone. What did you expect? A romantic scene where love story is born in the aisles of a bookstore cafe. What's the point? You might not even have been his type. Correction: You were certainly not his type. Maya came over to you, a mischievous half-smile on her face.

"If you're wondering. His name is Harrison. I heard his friend call him. And he kindly tipped you 25 pounds."

"I don't work here."

"It's just like"

"I would probably never see him again, Maya"

"Believe me, I have a feeling that you will."

☙♡❧

And she was right. The following week did not bring the handsome stranger, the following week either. You had totally, or almost, forgotten this delicious abrupt encounter. You were in the aisles of the cafe, looking for the next book you were going to devour when you were politely tapped on the shoulder, a throat clearing accompanying the gesture.

"Hm, excuse me?"

You turned around and your eyes widened a little in surprise. You did not expect, or more, to see this beautiful stranger again. He was holding a book in his hands and looked nervous. His demeanor was endearing and you couldn't help but suppress a shy smile.

"Yes?"

"I'm looking to get my mom a book. I've heard of this one but ... I wanted your advice."

You raised an amused eyebrow. He wanted to buy a book from his mom and he went to a coffee shop to ask you for advice on a book he obviously couldn't buy here. You found this sweet and awkward. You gave him a shy and mischievous smile.

“You know you're not supposed to buy the books here… just read them. »You joked

"Hmm, yeah ... but ... I wanted your opinion since ..."

"I don't work here ..."

The surprise was read in his eyes as in yours but for different reasons. Harrison felt silly for asking you when you weren't an employee. You, you were surprised by your tone, which seemed so cold when it was not your intention. You didn’t want to be rude to him. In fact, he makes you a little bit uncomfortable. You had never been so awkward with a boy but, for some reason you didn't know, his piercing blue eyes bowled you over. You couldn't deny that you were drawn to him and there was something really spellbinding about Harrison. To catch up you glanced at the book, you wrinkled his nose and you scratched your head

“I'm sorry, this is not the kind of novel I read ... But if she read Fifty-shade of Grey ... this book might please her” you told him, somewhat embarrassed.

Harrison gave you a confused look and you pointed to the cover of the book. To be fair, although he won't admit it, Harrison had grabbed the first book he saw off the storage cart and it actually turned out that it was an erotic fiction rather categorized in the young adult, a bestseller. Honestly, you didn't know where to put yourself. You watched the cheeks of the boy in front of you turn deep red.

"Okay ... Okay. I wasn't there for my mom."

"No shame ..." you tried to comfort him

"No..no i swear. It..i'm … okay ...

A boy with curly hair appeared in the aisle, calling out to the young man, breaking that awkward moment between you at the same time. Harrison's friend seemed vaguely familiar to you, as if you knew him or seemed to know him.

"Harrison, we're late. Tom's gonna kill me, mate!"

Harrison gave a sigh of relief that he seemed to have held back. He gave you a sorry smile and apologized before leaving you, putting the book down on a shelf. They headed for the exit and you stayed there, without moving, still challenged by this moment. You heard a laugh that came from the curl without actually hearing the reason.

"Did you ask her advice about 365 DNI? What kind of div are you?"

"Shut up Harry."

And Harry's laugh echoed one more time before the door closed on them. After a few seconds, you returned to the counter where your best friend was. She nodded at you, as if asking like it had happened. You have to shake your head negatively while shrugging your shoulders. It was the most bizarre interaction you have had in your life. A total failure. With that, he was sure you would never see him again.

☙♡❧

But you were wrong again. You were, again and again, at the cafe. Maya was finishing her shift and you were sitting at a table with a book in your hand. You were in your own little world when your gaze was drawn to a male hand, wearing rings highlighting the veins of that said hand, placing a cup of latte on your table.

"I didn't order any-" you said before interrupting you.

Harrison was in front of you, a shy little smile drawn across his face. You frowned, intrigued. How had he guessed your favorite drink? A simple glance over the blond's shoulder told you your answer: Maya was smiling at you, thumbs up, as a token of encouragement. You looked Harrison, pursed your lips, flattered by the gesture.

“I wanted to apologize for the other time.” Harrison finally spoke.

“It's nothing ... I..I hope your mom liked the book.” you just told him with a little smile

"I… It wasn't for her."

"Oh..for whom?" you asked intrigued.

He smirked, amused by your carelessness. Was he not obvious, however? Since the day he met you, the actor hadn't stopped thinking about you. Tom and Harry kept telling him that he was completely whipped and looked like a fool.

"For no one actually. I grabbed the first book I found."

"But why?" you seemed more confused.

"I wanted to see you. It was a pretext… I didn't know how to approach you."

Your cheeks turned as red as Harrison's the last you met him. You were flattered but at the same time surprised to know that he was interested in you. You've replaced a strand of hair behind your ear, blushing. An awkward silence has settled between you two. Neither of them really knew how to break the ice. Harrison looked up at the book you had put on the table when he arrived.

"What do you read?" he asked interested

“One day by David Nicholls. It’s the one of the most moving books I have ever read.”

And you started talking for hours about how this book moved you and how Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess' portrayal in the film adaptation blew your mind. How you went from laughter to tears to anger. How you got attached to the characters in both the book and the movie. Harrison couldn't stop you. He admired you talking with passion and found you endearing. The way you spoke with your hands or the way you frowned when some character action disturbed you. You were in your world and he wanted to enter it.

"I hope we end up like them." He said, interrupting you.

You suddenly stopped in your monologue looking at Harrison puzzled. You didn't expect this. First, because by knowing the story of this novel. You didn't want anyone to experience people's stories, no matter how beautiful it was. Second, did Harrison just say he was considering something with you?

"Like who?" you asked

"Emma and Dexter ... I hope we have such a great story."

You pursed your lips, amused. You swallowed to keep from laughing and you shook your head. You were sure he didn't read the book but you wanted to play with him a little.

"I don't hope so."

"Why? Their love story is beautiful!"

"You haven't read this book have you?"

"Of course yes!" he defended himself, uncomfortable.

In truth, he was lying. He was trying to impress you. He had simply said he wanted to live this love affair to soften you and try to approach you to ask for a date. Once again, you smiled, genuinely amused by the boy in front of you. He looked so innocent and so confident in her walk. But you knew ... You knew he hadn't read the book.

"Harrison, she dies at the end"

Harrison's cheeks have once again turn red. He played with his hands nervously, embarrassed. He was an idiot, a complete fucking div. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to let go of all the stress he had accumulated but also to find a way to make up for it. You were blowing him outright. He thought you were so beautiful and had never been so awkward about approaching a girl. Of course, Harry had introduced him to his ex-girlfriend. But, the actor had never had a hard time flirting. He knew his strengths, he was kinda funny, can't deny he was pretty handsome, after all he was a model. He was also an actor, he could play all emotions, recite hundreds of lines of dialogue. But you looked different and he was unable to have a conversation with you without being ridiculous. You found that rather adorable.

"Okay, okay. I don't hope we end up like them."

“I hope you don't wait 20 years before asking me out?”

Harrison looked at you surprised. Did you really just reach out to her? Did he hear what you just said or did his imagination play a dirty trick on him? Her heart skipped a beat. You pursed your lips before putting on a warm but shy smile. You weren't that confident in normal times but ... but it was pushing you out of your comfort zone. You liked him, his clumsiness made you laugh and moved you a lot. You wanted to know him better. And with a simple smile, Harrison knew he had the green light.

"Would you ... have coffee with me?"

"I'm already taking one with you, idiot" you joked ...

"Yeah..hmm, okay ... um. Would you like to go on a date ... one day?"

Your smile widened. You didn't know if he had chosen his last words intentionally but you liked to think he had. And if it wasn't, that awkwardness had melted your heart. You bit your lip, a smile still on your face. Your cheeks were rosy with emotion. Eventually, you might have had your romantic story at a coffee shop / bookstore.

“Yes, Harrison. I would like to go out with you.

[yukidragon]

Our Life Snippit - Fish and Flirting

Soooo... who’s ready to read another clip of the first draft for my Our Life: Beginnings & Always fanfic novelization? This time, let’s take a slice of Step 2's moment, Dinner.

I’d like to thank everyone for enjoying my writing. All of your likes, reblogs, and comments are the fuel that drives me to share more of it here. I’m thankful for the feedback my fellow fans of the game and especially its creators @gb-patch! You are all just so sweet. Thank you!

...

The crunch of sand against the mat beneath her sandals was a familiar welcome for Jamie as she entered his bedroom. Cove didn’t care if he brought a little bit of the beach home after every visit there. Cliff never scolded him for it like her moms would if she adopted such a lackadaisical attitude. This left sand to accumulate all over his personal space, but he never minded.

That was just how Cove was - a little bit of a mess.

Cove didn’t waste time getting comfortable, taking a seat on the edge of his extra large bed. “You can sit wherever you want.”

There weren’t actually all that many options. The desk chair was the obvious choice, as it was the only place to sit besides the bed, but Cove rarely used it for that purpose despite claiming her desk chair as his preferred spot whenever they hung out in her room. Jamie knew from experience that his chair was nowhere near as comfortable as hers, and it had a squeak to it that set her teeth on edge. She could deal with a stiff chair, but the noise it made ensured that the first time she sat in it was also the last.

This meant that the only options left were to stand, sit on the sandy floor, or…

Jamie fought to keep the mischief on her mind from showing on her face. Well, Cove did say that she could sit wherever she wanted.

Although Cove had hoped Jamie would take his offer as an invitation to sit on his bed with him, he was shocked that she took a seat right beside him. She was so close he felt her knee briefly brush against his as she made herself comfortable, all the while flashing him a cheerful smile that sent his heart pounding. He had hoped she would sit close to him; he just didn’t expect she would sit this close.

Not that Cove was complaining.

Jamie noticed Cove tense up, his back going stiff as he ducked his head away. It reminded her of how he would react whenever she hugged him, especially when he began to blush and tried to hide the way his lips curled into a trembling smile.

“Oh my God,” Cove whispered under his breath. The words slipped out of him without realizing, spoken so softly that Jamie might not have heard it if she wasn’t sitting right next to him.

The reaction thrilled Jamie, and she couldn’t stop herself from beaming at Cove. He was just too cute!

Cove noticed the shift in Jamie’s expression out of the corner of his eye. With how close they were, it was impossible not to notice each other’s every move. He couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at her, wondering why she seemed so happy all of a sudden.

Jamie noticed the silent question in his eyes. Before she could seriously consider playing coy, her real feelings came bubbling out. “You’re adorable!”

The compliment, delivered with such enthusiasm, seemed to come right out of nowhere for Cove. He stiffened again, his eyes flying open wide as his mouth hung open in shock. “I… what?”

Jamie watched as the blush deepen on Cove’s face before spreading to the tips of his ears and all the way down his neck. He wasn’t the only one blushing, as her cheeks grew rather hot as well, but since she already said it… “You’re adorable,” she repeated, trying to look and sound much more confident than she felt.

That got Cove’s mouth trembling again. It was a wonder how he could still look Jamie in the eye with how much his insides were fluttering. He gripped the blanket underneath him, feeling like he might just fall off the bed with how weak his knees were at that moment. “I’m not. That’s…”

It was almost too much for Cove to take. How could Jamie say stuff like that to him so easily? It wasn’t fair how easy it was for her to send his heart into overdrive and turn his mind into mush.

Cove shifted nervously in place as he scrambled to get his mind working again. Jamie was flirting with him, right? She had to be. Unless he was mistaken. Then again, this happened often enough that it couldn’t be all his imagination, right? Except this was Jamie - she was nice to everyone. Of course, she was nicest to him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t reading too much into things.

Should he flirt back? What would he say? What could he say? Should he call her cute? Jamie was definitely cute, and nice, and thoughtful, and fantastic and…

But what if that made things weird? If Jamie was just being nice and not thinking too much about this stuff, Cove might make things awkward. And if things got uncomfortable between them…

It was all too much for Cove. He did the only thing he could do - he fled the subject of romance completely.

“Did you see my fish?” Cove blurted out, latching onto the first non-romance-related topic to pop into his head. “I’ve got some. In a tank. Right there.” He threw both arms out in front of him in an almost desperate gesture to direct Jamie’s attention away from him to something else far safer with less world-shattering ramifications.

As happy as Jamie was to make Cove so flustered, she could see she had overwhelmed him. She wanted to drop hints about how she felt about him, not make him uncomfortable. Despite how poor the change in topic was, she granted him mercy and allowed it.

Cove bit back a sigh of relief when Jamie directed her gaze away from him. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on getting his rapidly beating heart back under control. At the same time, he couldn’t help but feel just a little disappointed with himself.

The fish in the tank were fairly varied, all of them bright and colorful. The way Cove had so dramatically pointed them out, one might think that Jamie had never seen them before. She knew that Cliff had gifted him the tank and pets not long after the father and son first moved to Sunset Bird.

Fondly, Jamie recalled the excitement that always shone in his eyes whenever Cove proudly introduced her to his newest pet. He always made sure she was the first to know, and it always made her feel special.

Jamie was also always the first one Cove went to whenever a fish unfortunately passed on. Those occasions broke her heart to see him so sad, and she did whatever she could to comfort him. Despite the sad memory, a small smile tugged at her lips as she recalled how she had come up with the idea of giving the fish funerals, and she officiated over them as best as her childish self could without having any real experience with funerals prior. As sad as they were, they did help her best friend heal from the loss.

Returning her focus to the tank, Jamie inspected it and its occupants with increasing interest. Although she had no experience having pets of her own, she had learned what it took to take care of fish from listening to Cove talk about his pets. She helped him out wherever she could as well, be it with checking to make sure the tank’s thermometer was accurate by comparing its reading with one her moms owned or looking up information he struggled to find by himself.

Cove was very serious about the care of his pets, and it showed. The fish were healthy and energetic as they swam through the crystal clear water.

The smaller fish zipping about were interesting, but Jamie found her eye drawn to the especially big one because of its dazzling multicolored scales. A thought suddenly occurred to her, and she felt dumb for never asking a very simple question before. “What are their names?”

Although the question was innocent enough, Cove found himself growing a bit bashful. “I don’t name them,” he admitted. “Well, not really.” At seeing Jamie direct a raised eyebrow at him, he gave her a lopsided smile. “I mean… Mostly, I just call them things based on what they look like. ‘Squirt’ for a small one, ‘Tangerine’ for a really orange one. That sort of thing.” He let out an awkward chuckle. “I’ve had a lot of fish, and I’m not that good at coming up with names…”

The answer tickled Jamie. She hadn’t known about that little weakness of his. It was always such a nice surprise whenever she learned about a new side of Cove that she had never noticed before.

“Oh,” Cove said, as a thought occurred to him. “A couple of them have other types of names.” He pointed towards a small orange-red fish. It was off on its own away from its tankmates. “My dad named her Dreamcatcher.” He paused for a moment before pointing at a more yellowish fish that just darted out of the fake log. “And that other one’s Mark. Mom came up with that one.”

Jamie focused on the two particular fish before turning back to Cove. He was still looking at his pets with a more relaxed smile on his face. For a moment she just admired how the glow from the tank reflected in his eyes before snapping her focus back onto the conversation. “You let other people name your fish?”

“Yeah,” Cove said happily. “It’s nice.” He then turned to Jamie as an idea popped into his head. He tilted his head to the side, considering the thought for a moment before deciding to go ahead with it. “Do you wanna name one?”

Jamie’s eyes lit up at the offer. “Yeah I do!”

Cove’s smile grew a little at her enthusiasm. “Cool. There’s a few who don’t have names right now, the newer ones. You can pick which you wanna name.”

Jamie waited until Cove pointed out each of her options. The first fish was the smallest in the tank. It was orange all over and zipped around the tank so fast that it was lapping the others. The second was red and just slightly bigger, with a tail dotted by black spots almost like freckles. The last fish was the largest one in the tank that had caught her eye earlier. Its multicolored scales practically glittered under the bright light of the large tank as it slowly glided through the water.

It was an easy choice for Jamie to make. “The biggest fish.”

Cove nodded, a little amused, as he waited for Jamie to decide on a name. He had a feeling that would be the one she would pick. She did like rainbows after all, and that particular fish was practically a living rainbow.

Jamie squinted at the tank, hamming up an exaggerated show of taking this sacred duty of naming a pet fish seriously as she stroked her chin and let out a low hum. She was rewarded for her theatrics when Cove noticed and let out a chuckle. She barely kept herself from grinning or doing more than glimpsing at him out of the corner of her eye as she tried her best not to break character.

Eventually, Jamie straightened up and turned to Cove, maintaining her solemn expression the entire time. “Gil.”

Cove couldn’t help but laugh unreservedly at not only her choice, but her antics as well.

Finally, Jamie broke character and allowed herself to smile and enjoy how she made Cove laugh. The affectionate sound was music to her ears.

“I could’ve come up with that,” Cove chuckled.

“Well, it was the second name to pop into my head,” Jamie said almost a little too innocently.

Cove caught on that Jamie wasn’t quite done with the bit yet and raised his eyebrow, playing along. “Oh yeah? What was the first one?”

“Cove,” Jamie announced, grinning.

With that, Cove broke into another round of laughter. “What? You thought about naming it after me?”

Jamie shrugged, doing her best to appear casual. “A little bit, but I couldn’t help it; your name is always the first one to come to my mind.”

Heat bloomed in Cove’s cheeks as his laughter turned bashful and trailed off. He was pretty sure Jamie wasn’t flirting with him this time and was merely joking around, but it still felt a little too good to hear her say something like that. “I-is it? Oh, well… uh…”

Jamie gave Cove a moment, feeling satisfied that her attempt at flirting got such a positive reaction. Those tips from Lee were paying off.

When Cove shook off the flustered feelings, he gave Jamie a bent smile. “Alright, it’s Gil.”

[cardansriddle]

Draco- Secret little rendezvous

Request: May I request a SlytherinPrefect!Draco x GryffindorPrefect!reader smut in the prefects bathroom? Ajakdkdk the place seems so smut worthy

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kiddos) also not proofread because I have shit tons of hw to do, bear with me.

I slammed the portrait shut to the Prefect’s bathroom, letting out a string of curses as I started undressing hurriedly. Umbridge has been getting on my last nerves, and it took every ounce of my willpower to not lunge at her and Avada the toad looking woman.

The water was warm when I dipped my toes in, and I didn’t hesitate before diving into the water and brushing my hair back once I resurfaced. My tense muscles relaxed immediately, and I sighed a deep breath of relief as I felt my anger being washed away. I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the bath, trying to forget the torture the toad put us through.

My relaxed state didn’t last long, as the portrait door opened and my eyes snapped open. I yelped at the unexpected presence and shrieked further when I realized just who it was.

Malfoy looked just as surprised to see me there as much as I was. I sank into the water so he couldn’t see anything above my neck.

“Get out!” I yelled at him when he continued to stare at me dumbfoundedly. “How the hell did you even get here?!” I shrieked and a small smirk made an appearance on his lips.

“It wasn’t locked.” He shrugged simply. “Get out, I’ve had a long day and I want to bath.” He commanded, inching closer to the giant bath. I quickly gathered bubbles around me for modesty’s sake and glared heatedly at the blonde.

“Bullying children became hard for you now? Anyway, I don’t care. I was here first, so for Merlin’s sake, get out!” I gestured to the door, sending him the darkest look I could muster to get my point across.

“I guess we’ll share it then.” He said simply and I watched horrified as he started unbuttoning his shirt slowly. My eyes were drawn to his ring clad hands as I swallowed.

“I’m not bathing with you! Where the hell are your bloody manners, Malfoy?”

His hands stilled as his eyes caught mine. He tilted his head a bit, studying me with his piercing eyes. I squirmed under his gaze and tried not to look away first.

“Either get out or shut up and let us both relax.” He snapped at last before discarding his shirt, his eyes still on mine. I tried to fight the blush that was threatening to taint my cheeks and instead I raised my chin and held eye contact. Even as he discarded his pants. Even as he got out of his boxers.

I did not dare look down, knowing that I would immediately get flustered if I did so. He got in the water, dipping his head in and resurfacing with wet hair. I tried to convince myself that the sight of him in front of me with his bare chest and wet hair was not arousing, but my body wouldn’t listen. The fact that we were both in the same bath, completely bare was dawning on me slowly.

I tore my gaze away from him. He was Malfoy for fuck’s sake! What the hell was I thinking? If Harry, Ron or Hermione ever found out about this, they would not only question my sanity but probably disown me as a friend. I should’ve hexed him as soon as he stepped a foot in here.

“Why so tense?” He mocked, running a hand through his platinum blonde hair. I rolled my eyes instead of answering him and leaned my head back, closing my eyes. Sure, Malfoy was hot, but I still had my morals. I wouldn’t betray my frien-

The splashing of water cut my thoughts short, and I gasped once I realized Malfoy was right in front of me, in very close proximity.

“What are you doing?” My voice came out breathless. He cocked his head to the side with a small smirk before getting even closer. His nose was brushing mine at this point. I was trapped. The wall of the pool was cold against my back as I pressed myself into it, trying to put as much distance as possible between Malfoy and me because I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself once his lips touched mine. I knew kissing him would be the final nail in my coffin and it terrified me.

His skin was glistening, little droplets of water dripping down his face. “I know you want me.” He lowered his voice, eyes glinting with a dangerous spark.

With the last drop of my willpower, I put my hands on his chest and tried to push him away, but he grabbed my wrists roughly and slammed his lips on mine.

The oxygen was punched straight out of my lungs at the feverish pitch of his lips pressed against mine. His soft lips felt euphoric, like silk and sandpaper. One of his ring clad fingers grabbed my jaw, while the other ran down my sides like he was trying to memorize every inch of my body until his hand reached my thigh. He wrapped his demanding hand around the underside of it, making me lock my legs around his narrow hips.

Reflexively, my arms shot up to wrap around his neck for support, gripping the hair at his nape and tugging on it. He emitted a low groan, and I squeezed my thighs tighter around him.

We pulled away to catch our breaths, panting heavily. “Fuck, Malfoy. We can’t.” I whispered, but despite my words, I didn’t release my hold on him.

He put his mouth on my shoulder murmuring against my skin. “Then tell me to stop.” He said. His words were met with silence and I felt him smirk against my skin. He nipped my shoulder causing me to gasp. His touch was electrifying, awakening every nerve in my body. “You’re literally wrapped around me in a bath, I think you can call me Draco.” I groaned and pulled at his hair, making him move his head back so I could kiss him again.

Draco wasted no time in kissing me back. He teased his tongue against my bottom lip and I didn’t hesitate in granting him access. He darted his tongue inside my mouth, and the taste of him was enough to leave me feeling mindlessly drunk.

“Draco” I moaned. “I want you.” I breathed out once his mouth attached to my neck, sucking and kissing, no doubt trying to mark me as his. I moaned at the sensation.

“What do you want?” I felt his hot breath on the surface of my neck. “Tell me.” I groaned. How the hell did he expect me to forma conherent sentence when he was grinding against me like this?

“I want you to fuck me.” I managed to get out at last. 

“Fuck.” I heard him curse, before I felt him reach down between us to line his member against my entrance, slightly teasing me as I waited in anticipation.

He slid into me agonizingly slow, growling deep in his throat once he was fully inside. He gave me a few second to adjust before I started moving my hips, encouraging him to move. He complied without a second thought, his wet hair sticking to his forehead as he started thrusting into me, increasing his pace with each one.

“Draco...” His name slid out like a prayer. In response, he brought one of his hand up,wrapping his ring clad fingers around my throat. The action turned me on even more, if that was even possible. The sound of the water splashing as his hips slammed against mine and lips moulding together echoed throughout the large bathroom and I untangled my hands from the nape of his neck so I could scratch his back, causing him to moan in my mouth.

His pace quickened, hitting a particular spot that made my toes curl. I arched my back against him, moving my head back as my eyes rolled back from the pleasure. 

“I...I’m...” He didn’t finish what he was saying, but I understood, because I was close too. “Fuck.” He cursed as he came, saying my name repeatedly with sloppy thrusts, and it wasn’t long before I followed with my own release as well.

He dropped his head on my shoulder still buried inside me. I sighed before smiling slightly, curling my fingers into his hair.

“Come to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow.” His husky voice broke the silence. My eyebrows shot up in surprise at his request and I chuckled before replying.

“That’s not how it works, Draco. You’re supposed to ask me, not order me.” I said, and grinned when he growled in displeasure. 

“Fine, come to Hogsmeade with me?” 

I ran my hands through his hair as I replied with a simple ‘yes’, all worries about how my friends would react gone for the moment as we simply soaked in each other’s company.

That was when I admitted that perhaps, there is a fine line between hatred and sexual tension.

[jean-kayak]

Anon Request: As someone tired of Y/N’s being spineless cowards around fangirls that disrespect her and cause her issues cuz they love her bf, let’s have Atsumu, Terushima, Oikawa, and Sakusa react to their usually gentle black!gf clocking these bitches with no hesitation. She’s nice and tried to avoid them, but they wanted to intimidate her and they were greeted with a fist to the face with the force of a pro-boxer.

Fangirl: Stay away from him! He belongs to us!

Y/N: 🙂 *cocks back and punches her before looking at other fangirls* Anyone else? No? Good, I’m getting my back blown out after this anyways *goes to her bf*

A/N: lmfao, anon, thank you for giving me a good laugh with this one

Characters: timeskip!Miya Atsumu, Terushima Yuuji, Oikawa Tooru, Sakusa Kiyoomi

🏐This was one of his games that you could finally go to, your schedule finally being cleared up

🏐It definitely wasn't the same watching your boyfriend play on TV, once again amazed at your boyfriend's talent

🏐He had scored the game winning point, his teammates and the crowd growing wild

🏐You hadn't told him you were coming, wanting to surprise him, so you waited outside of the stands, but you could see the many reporters lined up to interview him

🏐When he was done, you couldn't help but bounce on the balls of your feet, ready to see his reaction

🏐He doesn't notice you at first, so you call his name, and he looks around, his eyes widening when he spots you, and he's running over to you quickly, giving you a huge, sweaty hug

🏐"What're ya doing here?" he asks in disbelief, and you respond that you finally had free time from work

🏐He gives you another hug despite your protests before peppering your face in kisses, and your giggles stop along with his kisses when someone calls his name

🏐You both look and see a group of women all with his jersey number on them, and you instantly recognize them as the fangirls that you've noticed always hanging around whenever he did interviews

🏐He keeps his arm around your waist, and he steps a little closer to them. "Can I help ya?"

🏐You don't miss the way they eye you, and you raise an eyebrow at them

🏐"Is she your sister?"

🏐You laugh beside yourself at the petty question, not even being the least bothered by it, and Atsumu denies it, telling them that you're his girlfriend

🏐They all seemed more than shocked. "Oh," one of them starts. "I just expected her to be different?"

🏐Now you're pissed. Atsumu starts to defend you but you cut him off. "No, no, it's alright. They clearly have something to say," you start, stepping forward. "So, if you do. Say it."

🏐They all look between each other as you raise your eyebrows. "Atsumu there's no way you'd go for someone like her--"

🏐You deck her in the face, rolling your eyes when he falls onto the floor like a dramatic bitch

🏐"Oh, no, it looks like my hand slipped," you reply sarcastically as Atsumu's eyes widen, never seeing you or expecting you to do this

🏐You start walking away, stepping over the girl rolling on the ground holding her nose before turning to Atsumu. "Babe, you gotta get changed, right? Let's go."

🏐He jumps out of the shock he was in, glancing down at the girl on the ground, who's now being helped up by her friends before he runs after you

✂️"I know, I'm sorry. I'll remember next time," and you roll your eyes at the phrase that he says every time he forgets

✂️You were visiting your boyfriend at work because he had an annoying habit of forgetting his lunch

✂️You walk into the salon, seeing Terushima immediately, and his eyes widen in surprise before turning into a guilty smirk when you hold up the food

✂️"What did I tell you?" you scold when you walk up to him, and he kisses your forehead as he takes the food from you

✂️He thanks you again before giving you a soft kiss on the lips, and you're walking towards the door when you hear it

✂️"You know, Yuuji, you're pretty cute. Did I ever tell you that?"

✂️You stop in your tracks, spinning around on your heels to see his client blatantly flirting with him when you know she saw you interacting with him

✂️He responds with an awkward chuckle as he rubs the back of his neck, stating that he's taken, glancing your way

✂️"Oh, I didn't notice," she replies, and you watch her with a deadpanned look

✂️You walk up beside him, tiltling your head to the side

✂️"You need something?"

✂️She doesn't even seemed phased, giving you a simple shrug that makes you narrow your eyes at her

✂️This was sort of a regular occurrence, but no one's been this bold before, and you always caught the stares from other women, because duh your boyfriend's hot

✂️"This your girlfriend?" she asks, distain in her voice. "She seems like a bitch."

✂️"Excuse me?"

✂️"Aww, don't be like that. Most guys lower their standards, you know?" You cut her off, your fist connecting with her face before Terushima can even blink

✂️She actually tries to fight you back, but she obviously loses, getting to the point where her only goal is getting you off of her

✂️Terushima's thinking that's my girl, but then he's like oh shit, I have to stop this LMFAO

✂️He's quickly pulls you off of her, having a surprisingly hard time doing so

✂️"You chose the wrong one, bitch. Show your face here again and see what happens." She's quick to leave, and when you finally calm down, you realized that you just beat up someone in public, and Terushima almost loses his job 💀

🇦🇷You both stop when you hear someone call his name, both of you turning your attention towards the voice

🇦🇷You were walking out the gym hand-in-hand with your boyfriend going somewhere to celebrate after another win

🇦🇷When you walk out of the gym, the crowd has pretty much disappear due to Oikawa having a ton of interviews

🇦🇷He wraps his arm around you as you both laugh at an inside joke that you both had before he plants a kiss to your forehead

🇦🇷There's a small group of women with flags and wearing your boyfriend's jersey and he gives them a polite smile

🇦🇷This is nothing new for either of you, both of you already knowing what they want

🇦🇷He asks if they want a picture, already knowing the answer, and you easily take the pictures, this routine like clockwork to you

🇦🇷They giggle happily as you hand the phone back to one of them, and they all thank him before one of them speaks up

🇦🇷"Uh, this might sound weird, but are you seeing anyone?" You blink dumbly at her, like they didn't just see the two of you together

🇦🇷Oikawa has the same look on his face as he walks back to you, wrapping an arm around your waist before kissing your temple as he gives them a duh look, silently answering her question

🇦🇷"Are you sure?" another asks, and both you and Oikawa frown at the same time, as you feel yourself scoff

🇦🇷"More than anything in the world," he responds confidently

🇦🇷This isn't the first time fangirls have tried to come between your relationship, and he'll be damned if he lets it happen again

🇦🇷They all give each other questionable looks as you roll your eyes

🇦🇷"Is there a problem?" The tone in your voice surprises him, this being the first time he's heard aggression towards someone

🇦🇷"No, of course not," one answers sarcastically before reaching over and tugging your boyfriend over to them, the force so hard that he almost falls over. "We just think he would look better, happier with one of us."

🇦🇷You chuckle as you shake your head, and you reach over to take your hand off of your boyfriend, but she grabs at your wrist

🇦🇷Your reflexes are quick to kick in, and you yank both yours and Oikawa's wrist out of her grip before punching her in the face, probably harder than you needed to, but you were fucking pissed

🇦🇷Another girl tries to lunge for you, but you buck at her, making her quickly recoil. "You trynna get hit too?"

🇦🇷Oikawa's more than surprised, but he quickly puts his hand in yours before pulling you away from them with a proud smirk on his face

😷He sighs heavily as he turns to see a couple of women walking towards the both of you, his shoulders slumping slightly

😷Sakusa's never been a big fan of groups of people coming up to him after games, his number one priority getting home and relaxing after his game

😷You understand this pretty well, always helping him make his way out of the gym trying to find the route with the lowest chance of coming in contact with a lot of people

😷You had just made it out the doors, and Sakusa's about to take a breath of relief when he hears someone yelling his name

😷He's not really used to having "fangirls" a term that you use, and bottom line, he doesn't like it

😷They always crowd him, always trying to pry into his personal life, which is why he was so drawn to you when you first met

😷You were the complete opposite, more on the gentle, quieter side which he appreciated, liking that he could come home to you after a lot of excitement and just relax

😷"I'm sorry, but Sakusa doesn't really do pictures," you speak up, another reason why he really appreciates you, showing you by giving your hand a soft squeeze

😷But to his dismay, they don't back down, they actually turn pretty hostile pretty quickly

😷"Oh, relax, it's just one picture," she argues, and you give her a small smile

😷"I know, but seriously, he doesn't really care for them," you try again, and they both scoff

😷"What are you? His babysitter?" You raise your eyebrows at them as you turn your body towards them

😷"I'm his girlfriend. And I'm telling you that he doesn't want a picture."

😷"Well, you seem like a piece of shit girlfriend." You run your tongue over your teeth as you nod your head, and she actually has the audacity to try and reach for you

😷Before Sakusa can stop her, you dodge her hand before clocking her in the face, she hunches over in pain

😷The other girl tries to do the same, but you repeat your actions, putting her in the same position as her friend

😷"You got some audacity you dumb bitch, the fuck?"

😷To say the least, Sakusa is floored, your actions he least expected to come from you

😷"Hope you enjoy your broken nose. I'm gonna enjoy my boyfriend fucking his piece of shit girlfriend into next week."

😷Sakusa chokes as you pull him away, his face heating up at your words

😷"Did you really have to end with that?"

[wizkiddx]

...surprise part 3

{part1} {part 2}

I got there in the end!!!! sorry I felt like this dragged quite a lot but just quite happy to get it done ahah. Any feedback / advice would be greatly appreciated :)

TW: this is pretty heavy angst, miscarriages / thoughts of self harm / death pls don't read if this could strike a cord x 

Summary: Y/n has absolutely not a clue how to tell Tom and that only strains the both incredibly. 

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The drive home was deathly silent. Tom’s Audi seamlessly drove down the near-empty roads on a sleepy Sunday evening. The whole time Y/n sat with one leg curled up by her chest as she absently stared out of the passenger window. Honestly, though, she was not taking anything of the view in, all processing power in her brain was in overdrive. Souly focused on how the fuck she was going to tell Tom what she had done. She knew Tom kept glancing over at her, with the panicked hint to his eyes- no matter how comforting he was trying to appear. His grip on the steering wheel was every tightening, he felt as though right now that was the only control he had. Still with no idea what was going on - but this time his mum knew too. And his mum when she came to get him from the living was not calm either.

Something he always admired about his mum was how cool she was in a crisis. Even if Paddy likened her to the ’rage monster’ at times when she was pissed because he’d left the freezer door open, or something equally as stupid, when it came down to it, when there was a really serious issue… she was composed. Calm and collected. So when she came in and called Tom, taking him away from his brothers, he could tell something was wrong by the look in her eye. She was upset, that was clear to him, but there was something more. It wasn’t straight up panic (not like if Y/n had passed out or something) but it was… it was a quiet urgency.

It meant it was bad.

Without the need to ever consider it, Tom knew this wasn’t anything to do with Y/n being unfaithful. It hadn’t even crossed his mind. And that meant, something must've happened personally to Y/n - which maybe scared him even more. If it was a betrayal of him, that would principally hurt Tom himself - which would kill him, but he would deal with it. It was the fear of the unknown and the complete powerlessness in this situation that had Tom wishing the drive away so he’d finally understand.

The drive felt painstakingly long for Tom… yet far too short for Y/n to come up with a plan.

When the pair finally pulled into the driveway, they both didn’t even exchange glances before heading out the car and slamming the doors shut. The crunch of their shoes on the gravel path to the front door was deafeningly loud as Tom fished the keys out of his pocket - this time with a sense of dread that contrasted so strongly the excitement he’d felt less than 24 hours ago doing the exact same thing.

Tom held the door open for her, as she fiddled with the cuff of her sleeve; eyes still glued to the floor. He flicked on the light to illuminate the hall as she slipped off her shoes. He mirrored her action and then for the first time since his parents' house looked her in the eye. Just that action had him near spilling his guts about how worried he was about her, before Y/n beat him to it.

“I’m…I’m gonna take a shower.”

And it had him floored. How could she just ignore the bloody massive and luminous elephant in the room? He couldn’t even respond, his brain was so confused as to what the fuck was going on. So she just nodded smally and headed straight upstairs. Leaving him in a stupor by the doorway.

Meanwhile, Y/n was just about holding it together until she got behind the locked door of their ensuite. Then it broke. She broke.

She pulled the clothes that drowned her off frantically, scratching and grabbing until the garments ripped off her body and were thrown across the room in haste. In the mirror, the reflection of the person that stood there somewhat had her transfixed. Tilting her head to the side, Y/n took careful steps up toward it - her eyes transfixed on her exposed abdomen. She was hollow. So very empty and it had her hypnotised. How barely weeks ago she was growing a real human inside there - creating something that should’ve gone onto laugh and smile and grow and learn. And love.

Now she was empty.

The poor thing though had been so deprived by their own mother; so unwanted and hated. They had been starved of all love by the person who was supposed to love them the most. The person who was supposed to be half their world for the first few years at least.

It was her fault.

Y/n hated herself, heck she wanted to punish herself for what she’d done. And yet, there was something so pure about her stomach, about where that angel had been. She wanted to punch herself, to kick and hurt, to make her feel pain. Except for this little life force, or the remnants of them - had her respecting it. Instead, she gently rubbed her stomach, which was flat rather than full like it should’ve been, and yet it felt like a relief. At a snail's pace, she trailed the tips of her finger across her belly just drawing (what she thought were) random patterns - however to anyone else they would have noticed the silhouette of a small human.

She took her time int the shower, having the water close to blisteringly hot but not quite there - using it as an attempt to purge her body of the thoughts, of the guilt. Eventually, though she couldn’t drag out the bathroom routine any longer, she had to go and face him. In reality, Y/n was well aware of how unfair this was on Tom - he had been terrified on the way back here, she knew that. But the thought of admitting to him this truly abhorrent thing she’d done, selfishly she didn’t want to tell him tonight. Just one more night sharing a bed with him, one morning of seeing his puffy eyes and bed hair, one last time hearing his gruff morning voice. Before he found out the real her and before he left.

Thankfully, when she finally drew the courage to unlock the door and leave her sanctuary, their bedroom was empty and she took that opportunity. As fast as she possibly could, Y/n changed into an old nightshirt before huddling under the covers. Tom had been so careful with her feelings today, he might just leave her be. Delay the conversation till tomorrow. It was the dream.

And dreams don’t come true.

Tom walked in, she could hear the soft pad of his feet on the cream carpet as she tried to act fast asleep - regulating her breathing and relaxing every muscle she could. When in fact that the whole process was the opposite of relaxing, she was on such high alert, waiting for a sign of him leaving her alone for the evening. Quite expectedly though, it didn’t quite go down that way. She heard him sigh, felt him sit on his side of the bed as her body rippled with the dip on the bed, felt his eyes piercing her.

“Y/n…” the tone of his voice had her wincing internally, he was hurting. “Y/n please… just talk to me?” She was too scared to move. “ I know your awake Y/n we both know who’s the actor here” Y/n knew Tom was trying to lighten the mood, trying to make her feel a bit more comfortable but then he switched back to an underlying hint of desperation. “Please talk to me.” She didn’t have a choice, he wasn't going to let up - Y/n could tell. So she rolled over and opened her eyes facing him.

“I’m tired, Tom. Can we do this tomorrow?” His face completely morphed and she knew she fucked up. He wasn’t upset or worried or scared any more.

“I’m sorry but that is not fair.”

“Please just-“

“NO. ah” He sighed, as if disciplining himself for the instinctive angry tone. “Look- I-I’ve been going at your pace. I’ve been treading on eggshells all day. I didn’t want to push you but I’m bloody terrified! I mean you told my mum! And she’s worried so that means I’m even more stressed and-…. Just please Y/n. You know I’d never judge you I’m just worried because I care.”

And just like that, she didn’t have a choice. She was really hurting the man she loved.

As a result, Y/n pushed herself up into a sitting position, still hugging the duvet around her in a protective blanket as she looked into his glassy eyes. It tore her heart out.

“I’m really sorry” she pursed her lips blowing out an exhale, trying to collect all her thoughts, feelings and emotions together. “I’ve been trying to all day but-.. it’s just I’m finding this really hard to express in words.”

“I don’t mind if it takes all night, just I-I want to understand.” He was just too kind and she didn’t deserve it. So picking at the duvet while pulling her legs closer in protection she nodded.

“Okay, so-so I just take you through it chronologically? And-and then I can go to Y/f/n’s place so.”

“Why would you got to hers?” He asked, his eyebrows drawn tightly together in confusion. He knew you hadn’t been unfaithful - his mum most definitely wouldn’t have reacted in the way she did had Y/n betrayed Tom.

“Just… just listen first.” She didn’t want to answer that question, to speak it into existence. Him kicking her out, in a rage of fury and anger at how evil she could be. She thought he’d just reply and accept it, not feel the need to calm her.

“I could never ever hate you Y/n please, it’s a bit insulting to me that you think I would.”

His words had her a little shocked - she had definitely not expected that reaction. His offence.

“Umm okay just… just don’t promise till you hear.” He gave her a stern look, not enough to make her back down or change her mind from what she thought was inevitable. “So. So it was when you were away. You’d just gone to Atlanta I think and-and I woke up one morning and was sick and it was weird I don’t know… um so I took the day off but I was okay until the next morning and-and I was sick again. It was weird so I took the next day off because you know Elliot I work with? He’s-he's got some broken immune system or something so we really can’t go in if we are ill. But I was fine until the next morning again and-and then it kind of hit me. I hadn’t had a period in ages and-and yeah.”

“Your pregnant?” Tom asked, trying to wrap his head around the current situation and what she was saying.

“Was…” Her voice wavered and she paused a second “ I-I was. I was shocked you know? We…we weren’t ready.” Y/n shifted uncomfortably, pushing herself closer to the headboard. “You said you didn’t want kids now and I mean … we- we are barely adults ourself right? It-it was so stupid but I couldn’t tell you could I?… Phone you up and say by the way I’m pregnant with a kid you don’t want!...” She dared to look at him, only for a second, seeing the way he just stared at her as though transfixed. She couldn’t keep looking at him.

“So I was waiting till you would get back … er next week, well when you were supposed to be back anyway.” She scoffed lightly at that, how the whole entire situation had been completely flipped on its head. “I would have had the scan then. And-and I went and it so stupid because they were a blob but-shit. They were so beautiful.” She hadn’t even noticed, suddenly absorbed in what she was saying but Tom leant over to grab one of her hands because it was trembling so vigorously. It wasn’t that he wanted to comfort her, he needed to. Because really? When it mattered, he hadn’t and that was already eating away at him.

“And I stupidly…. So fucking stupidly… I thought what if? I got excited and in my head… I don’t fucking know I just thought that I-it, it might work. I really - really thought it could work.” She couldn’t feel it but Tom wormed his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her into his side. “But by that point, I’d already filled them with so much hate. I wanted them out for so long and…and then I just- well I got what I thought I wanted.”

For the first time since she started her speech, Y/n wasn’t absorbed in retelling the story. Noticing her position with Toms arms protectively wrapped around her, she dared to look up into his eyes. And they weren’t right. It was wrong. Because here he was still looking at her with these incredibly soft warm brown eyes, his thumb rubbing up and down on the back of her shoulder blade.

“Love, I’m so so sorry.”

She was bemused. What the hell was he doing? Was this just a double bluff, acting all soft before he was about to rip her heart out - even if it was what she deserved, that was exceptionally cruel?

“No Tom your not listening. I-I couldn’t keep your baby alive! I-I wished them away… I wanted them gone!” Now she was plainly hysterical, shouting and yelling at Tom as her hands shook.

It broke Tom’s heart. He knew this was his fault - at least a little. Clearly, she should never have been in a position to have to deal with this herself, that was obvious. And it made him guilty… but what hit harder? She had very clearly implied she was worried about his reaction, he should never have let her worry. Because Tom knew he loved Y/n unconditionally, at this point that should be a given - for all he cared there was nothing, within the limits of reason, she could do that would make him seriously reconsider his opinion of her. Even then, if his opinion were ever forced to change so dramatically... he still knew he wouldn’t be able to stop loving her. Loving isn't an option, it is not a choice. You helplessly surrender yourself to it. And yet she was apparently less sure of this fact.

“I’m so sorry you had to deal with this by yourself.” And he meant it. He truly meant it. However, Y/n was not having it at all - in her state, in her frame of mind, this was him just torturing her; acting it out only to break her heart. His words and her position wrapped protectively in his arms dawned on her. It had her leaping up from the bed, tears streaming down her face as she gestured wildly.

“Tom that’s not fair! Don’t you get it? I KILLED YOUR BABY! They were alive and then I wasn’t enough for them! IT’S MY FAULT!” To put it simply, she looked insane. Screaming, with tears streaming down her face, arms flailing about as she yelled at Tom, who was still sitting on the bed.

He’d never seen her like this- with so much anger. What was even more disturbing was the fact that it was targeted so inwardly at herself.

“This isn’t your-“

“BE ANGRY TOM. For fuck sake… I-“ She choked out a sob “I murdered your kid! RAGE AT ME SHOUT AT ME it’s-it’s what I deserve.” It was insane but the look in her eye was one that seemed to Tom as though she needed him to hate her. As if in some fucked up narrative that was how the story should end.

He was not having one bit of it, tearing his eyes away from her maniacally shaking frail frame and instead to the corner of the ceiling. There was no precedent, no guidebook on how to deal with this, no past experiences to rely on. Unlike if Y/n had had a shit day, Tom knew then to subtly keep her within reach, to silently be there so she could literally and figuratively lean on him when she was ready; unlike when she was angry at ignorant politicians, he knew not to argue but prompt her to explain more, give a more reasoned argument so anger became thought through intellect; unlike when her grandma had died, when she just needed his contact, she needed his thumb rubbing against her hip, needed to sleep listening to the rhythmical thumping of his heart. None of these were applicable - his touch seemed to make her worse; his words seemed to anger her more; his mere presence didn’t seem to be doing an awful lot of good.

And yet, he couldn’t leave her even if it seemed to be the most logical option. Because she was wild, not herself and not logical and he, for the first time, was terrified of the danger she could be to herself.

Y/n stared at him, wide-eyed, waiting for him to react. She saw his Adam's apple bob up and down - readying his voice to scream at her. She saw his brown eyes collect a sheen of tears of rage - ready to bore holes into her skull as he degraded her to what she was worth. Which was very little. Then, as if in slow motion, his sharp jawline tilted back level and his eyes met her. He was frozen as if a statue, ready to rage at her.

“I love you both. So much and equally.”

Tom was pretty sure he could imagine Y/n’s runaway train in her head slam on the breaks. Her eyebrow twitched a little, as she stood completely still trying to analyse his words. Because to her, it didn’t make sense. So he took this moment of (at least surface level) calm to smoothly and slowly stand up, actions much like mirroring how someone approaches a spooked cat on the streets. Movements slow and preplanned, trying not to set off the fight or flight response on the women in front of him.

“That little baby you made… I didn’t know he ever existed till minutes ago but…but I know for a fact I love them.” He was trying to both figure out and decode his own emotions while explaining them in a way Y/n would accept and understand.

“I love them because… they are made by the love of my life. And that’s incredible and indescribable and just… just part of you, an extension of everything you and me together are… They would never have been perfect right?” Tom softly asked, though realistically knowing he wouldn’t get a response from a still motionless Y/n - besides a single tear, which appeared to have a mind of its own, escaping over her bottom lash lid. Tom watched it roll down her cheek as he composed his next words. “No they wouldn’t, no ones perfect… neither me nor you. But they would’ve been safe and have been loved. They were loved, you-you loved them right, even if you didn’t think you did or when you were terrified?” This time Y/n nodded minutely and Tom mirrored this, taking a small step a little closer to her. “And I did love them while they were in your stomach because they were part of you and I always always love you…. So they were so full of love okay? There's no rhyme or reason to why what happened happened but it’s… it’s definitely not because they were starved of love okay?” Y/n still didn’t have appeared to have released a single breath since Tom stood up, so he made a calculated and risked assessed movement to reach his hand out to touch her upper arm. In reaction, she sucked in a sharp shaky breath and then expelled it just as quickly - just like Tom knew she would. He physically felt a pull in his chest seeing the torment in her glassy eyes, now barely a rulers length from her.

“This, it’s an awful… awful situation. It’s sad and heartbreaking but I really need you to know that it changes nothing about how I feel about you. I need you to really understand how much I love-and always will-love you, and how I love them too.” Another tear escaped the same eye and Tom reached up with his other hand so his thumb could brush it away before the glassy orb met her pronounced jawline. To be honest he was quite grateful for the moment as he felt his voice getting a bit sticky in the back of his throat. She still wasn’t ready to speak yet and he was okay with that.

“We’ll never forget them and we will always love them, but I want to do that with you, as we get older together. They tie us closer and I refuse to disrespect them and force ourselves apart….a-assuming you don’t want to either?” Still cupping her cheek with his left hand Tom felt as well as saw her nod, this time more emphatically, her eyes darting between focusing on his left and then right eye - as though she was just checking they were saying the same things as his mouth.

“I’m sorry I-“ Finally feeling the connection between her brain and voice box, Y/n stated to jiltedly speak but was interrupted as Tom tentatively feathered his lips on hers. “You can be sorry for scaring the crap out of me today, you can be sorry for shouting and you can be sorry for not telling me at all… I don’t think you should, but if you’re staying sorry that’s all you can be sorry for.” He was barely speaking, more like just moving his lips against hers, yet they knew and understood each other completely Y/n got everything. So she sighed and repeated.

“I am sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for you not having the faith to know I’d be happy, that was my fault. I’m sorry for not being here and not noticing when you were struggling on the phone. I’m sorry I crept up on you last night. But I don’t think there’s anything else for either of us to apologise for.”

“Okay” Y/n then pressed her lips firmly and almost desperately against his, feeling his warmth wrap around her, as he literally wrapped his arm around her waist, from where it had been on her upper arm. And really she was very incredibly desperate since it was very very incredibly clear now with him pressed against her that he might’ve been all she needed this whole time. Tom went with it for a couple of moments, but then broke them both apart - it sounds odd but he sort of felt like he was taking advantage of her.

“Darling you’re grieving. We can tackle this together …. But your grieving so we need to look after you first. And, and we’ll remember them and face this. But we gotta look out for each other too and…”

“I’m ill aren’t I?” He was oh-so relieved that she could see it too.

“I’m not a doctor but I think so… think we need to get you eating properly.”Y/n nodded and Tom kissed her forehead, pulling her completely against his chest - only exacerbating and exaggerating his awareness of how boney she felt. It hadn’t gone unnoticed how she’d spent the whole of Sam’s dinner pushing the meat round on her fork - rearranging it numerous times- whilst picking at a few carrots. “We can do whatever you feel will help you this evening but you need to tell me what you want to eat.”

*

You agreed but you still felt incredibly nauseous, so managed to put off the whole snacking thing in lieu of cuddling up on the sofa with Tom. You were still incredibly confused, feeling slightly detached from reality if you were completely honest. And you knew Tom was a good actor, his career kind of speaks for himself yet, all the same, the sheer truth in his eyes, voice, heart. It had you feeling safe. He no longer felt a flight risk and although you still couldn’t understand why he was forgiving you so easily, you believed he was. In the softest voice, he kept just saying ‘your grieving’ when you tried to challenge his logic- admittedly proving difficult in your scattered and hazy mind.

So you found yourself lying almost completely on top of his right side, your head tucked underneath his chin, a fluffy blanket weighing down on your back to keep you nice and toasty. Silently Tom had trailed his fingertips tentatively, under the hem of your t-shirt, round over the top of your hip to his stomach. Initially, it had felt like the worst and most alien feeling in the world- but he told you to relax and you listened; he told you to take deep breaths and you listened; he told you he loved you and you listened.

It must’ve been incredibly boring for him, I mean the TV wasn’t on neither was the radio and you knew his phone was in a pocket you were currently lying on. He didn’t complain though, he just let you lie there. Just sort of being with him.

*

At some point Tom realised she’d drifted off, after a long time fighting exhaustion, as though she were worried about what Tom would do once she finally gave in to sleep. It wasn’t surprising though, considering her energy intake from food for today was limited to a couple of roasted carrot slices, Tom knew her falling asleep on his chest was inevitable. The time it took had also given him enough time to fully digest and process the whole day as well as for deciding what he needed to do. So once she appeared fully out of Tom dared to worm his hand between their bodies and, with a few muted grunts of effort, phish his phone out his back pocket.

‘Hi, I know this asking a lot but would you mind getting Sam to make that pasta bake Y/n likes and dropping it round? Just she’s asleep but I don’t want to leave her alone but could do with getting something in her?’

‘Sams already on it and it doesn’t take long. I’ll be at yours in about an hour, shall I just let myself in?’

Tom was so grateful for his family, and for how they’d taken Y/n in to. Although she’d never admit it, her tougher than average upbringing always had her feeling a bit isolated- she never had ‘her’ people. The people who completely accepted her for who she was and never judged her. But as soon as he’d introduced her to them, it was as if she'd always been there. He endlessly appreciated the talks Nikki and you had, the way his Dad would come over when she was home alone to help with the simple stuff like knowing what lightbulb to buy for the lamp that had blinked out.

She had a place in his family.

Quite impressively, Sam had managed to bake the dish and then Nikki had managed to drive round before barely three-quarters of an hour had passed. Y/n was still completely out, so when he heard his mum unlock the door with her spare key, he felt able to wiggle out from under her without disturbing at all. He met Nikki in the kitchen, leaning against the door frame as he watched his mother fly about the kitchen - preheating the oven on a low temp to keep it warm while pulling plates and cutlery out the drawers so it was easier for Y/n and Tom when you woke up.

“Thanks for all this” Tom announced his presence with a soft sigh as he padded further into the kitchen. Nikki instinctively threw her arms round her eldest’s shoulders, squeezing him tightly.

“You guys okay?” Tom replied with a rather uncertain hum, before recounting the evening to his mum in a low voice - as though Y/n could be disturbed from the other side of the house. Nikki was in two frame of minds at this point, clearly heartbroken for the pair; but also incredibly proud of her son because it appeared he’d reacted and said exactly the right things.

“And you?… it must’ve been a shock?” To be quite honest, Tom hadn't thought about his own emotions yet, he’d put himself on the back foot for the time being.

“I mean it’s just a bit surreal… I don’t know I didn’t really have anything to do with it but - I just know that it's made me so certain that one day we will... you know?” Nikki hugged her son again with a little nod.

“Well I won’t outstay my welcome but I do want you to give this to Y/n too.”’ With those words, she fished a square box out of her handbag - it was about the size of two matchboxes and Tom raised his brows in curiosity. “She’ll understand when she sees it.”

And with a brisk parting gesture, Nikki left, Tom tucking the box into his side pocket before getting the pasta ready.

////////

Waking you with a gentle rub on your upper arm, you mewled a groan and pushed your head hard into the sofa below you in an attempt to alleviate the tension that instantly rippled through your skull. With hazy eyes, you blinked heavily, slowly focusing on the pale yet soft skin of the boy crouched opposite you.

“Hey darling, nice nap?” Nodding gradually, you still tried to completely recollect and piece together everything that had happened today “… you need some grub before we head upstairs yeh?” Again you nodded in compliance because at this point, even having been asleep for the last however long, you really didn’t have the energy for any conflict or disagreement. With a little prompt and poke from Tom, you reluctantly sat up, grasping the plate he offered to you while still rubbing one of your eyes. Busying himself with running back to the kitchen and grabbing his own plate and drink, you had time to look at the food and notice what was served to you. Tom plopped himself next to you and turned his head with a small smile, meeting a bemused and slightly suspicious look from you.

“You didn’t cook this…?” Really it wasn’t a question. You knew for a fact Tom was not and would never be a good chef. No judgement though, since neither were you, meaning the pair of you heavily relied on the ingenious invention of uber eats most evenings. Tom chuckled at your perceptiveness and admitted defeat without even trying to feign it.

“Nah mum dropped it round. Though I think Sam cooked it so a joint effort.”

“-didnt have to-“ You hated feeling like a burden. You hated people worrying because you just felt bad. Not worth the attention and effort. And Tom hated you feeling like that - naturally then, he had the need to shut you down instantly.

“No, you’re right. But they did.”

The air was filled with the quiet clinks of ceramic against the silver or the cutlery as you forced mouthful after mouthful down your throat. He was trying to be subtle, and yet you could feel Tom’s concerned glance checking you were eating. Truthully, you really didn’t feel like eating at all (even if it was Sam’s gorgeous tomato and sausage pasta bake - an odd combination but it worked). However, what more crucial in that moment was not disappointing your incredibly sweet boyfriend.

After having consumed as much as you physically could - which Tom deemed suitable with a small nod- he took your plates away and came back to sit beside you. More and more silence.

“Are-are we okay?” Whispering quietly you felt Tom’s body seize up into a rigid state, his face whipping round to look at you. He chose to reply with actions first reaching up so that his hands cupped your cheeks, he turned your head and then slowly leaned into to press his lips softly against yours. Once retracted, he pressed his forehead onto yours.

“Of course. I bloody love you and we’re going to get through this together.” His eyes were almost intimidating, with the seriousness he placed in his gaze - just to make sure you knew he meant it.

What you had done to deserve this boy you’d never know. But you were so incredibly grateful for him.

It gave you the confidence to take the first move this time, pressing your lips against his, holding for a moment before arching away - a small yet real smile on your face.

“Oh… nearly forgot” He muttered, leaning forward and grabbing a black leather box that you’d failed to notice had been placed on the coffee table. For the second time this evening, you were caught off guard and bemused as to how he’d sourced this item within the time frame. “It’s from mum… she wouldn’t tell me what it is but said you’d understand.”

His words had you biting your lip, in a weird way eager to see, purely because you knew Nikki understood you. And understood what you were going through. With one last look to Tom, you reached out and grabbed the box, thumb running over the sleek leather exterior. Once your thumb reached the bottom you flicked the lid up, unveiling a simple silver chained bracelet. It had five dainty silver charms hanging off it, they looked a bit like leaves but were kind of too small to tell. Moreover, it looked a little worn and preloved but it didn’t stop your eyes from watering when you saw at the bottom another charm, not yet attached that looked newer and pristine.

5 charms already attached and 1 new one.

“Oh” Tom muttered, also clearly very much intrigued, hovering off you left shoulder to see properly. ”That’s mums bracelet. She never really takes it off… that’s nice I guess?” He was obviously confused and it had you chuckling wetly, at how oblivious he could be. You did love your dear idiot.

5 charms for her 5 pregnancies… and now one for yours. One to wear forever, to love, to keep close to your heart.

They were tears of happiness, you were certain of, however, Tom was not at all sure why your flood gates opened again and was worried.

“You-you don’t have to take- I mean if you don’t like it don’t worry-“

“I love it” You breathed, looking up at him with glassy eyes before hastily picking up the extra charm and with shaky fingers clasping it onto the chain next to it. Tom perked up, if still bemused, wrapping his arm around your shoulder with a gentle squeeze.

“I don’t know how you convinced her to take it off, I’ve been trying to buy her a new bracelet for years but she’s always stuck with this old thing.”

“Because it’s beautiful!” You yelped in argument, making him laugh at how suddenly you’d switched into a happy and overexcited mood. Though don’t get me wrong, he was loving it.

“You Holland women I will never understand.” He whispered into your ear whilst you looked back at the chain, fixing it round your wrist. His comment made you freeze up, as you felt his grip tightening on your waist as he realised exactly what he might have just let slip out. “No I er- I don’t mean… but-but one day maybe if-if you wanted.”

“I love you” You sighed, kissing him once again to save him the embarrassment of watching his cheeks flush and ears pink up.

“I’m serious though… one day because… because you’re my family and when it happens our family will grow too.”

He was right. And you would, one day,

But you would never forget the two little lives remembered on this bracelet.

tagging people that might be interested (sorry if u don't care ahah): @wayfaring----stranger @vanillanestor @333dolans @thevelvetseries @whitewolf51